#ive already made a post like thus and i dont care

[lorillee]

i KNOW its low hanging fruit but u ARE an aa blog and ive never seen u talk abt them directly so. phoenix and edgeworth

IM SORRYYYYYYYYY im sorry but im going to premise this, briefly, with the shocking (not shocking) revelation that i am, in fact, not a narumitsu girlie . sorry everybody new here who wasnt present for my 2 year one piece stint but this is very standard fare for me. the best my relationship with shipping ever gets is me getting absurdly invested in a single canon ship and then everything else is like. well its fine i guess. unless i hate it in which case im like "EUGH this thing again." ok anyways lets get into it

like ok the thing is i get it. i understand why people care so much like phoenix literally went to LAW SCHOOL for a guy he knew for like a year in preschool . but welcome to the wonders of my mind i guess 😎👍 (<- girl who has never had a crush in her life) . also tentative on the "fandom made me hate this one" because ok the thing is. alright sorry we're going to use this as a springboard for me to briefly talk about my relationship with fanon & the Fandom Favorite "i mean like EVERYBODYYYY ships it" ship

as im sure most of the people here are probably relatively aware (save for the new crowd) i am................... usually at odds with the popular fanon. recently ive found myself being drawn to more controversial characters which, as always, leads into me having to wade through whole slew of incredibly awful reductive terrible and wildly un-canon takes. unfortunately, because usually whoever i like has a complicated/actively bad relationship with the fandom favorite babies, the people who have absolutely abysmal takes about my personal favorite characters are also the same people who like to uwu-ify their smol precious beans. and thus the connection between "people who ship the fandom favorite ship" and "people who have terrible takes about my favorite characters" becomes a terrible sort of steel strong. so ive decided to take some preventative measures and have blocked all narumitsu tags before things get too ugly. ok so side tangent explanation on "fandom made me hate them" over !! yay👏👏👏

ANYWAYS . sorry that got too long. i feel the need to justify myself because this is literally The Fandom Favorite Ship and even though i have like a tiny smattering of followers and frankly nobody probably cares that much . its my voltron shipping war trauma or something. anyways. no seriously theyre incredibly funny theres this one. hold on actually im just going to link it. this post. honestly im not sure what more there is to say between everything ever thats already been said a trillion times abt aa1-2 and also that post that nails the wildly hysterical aa3 dynamic so well. yeah 😎👍 theyre great i love them but frankly i dont care terribly much about the ship sorry wrightworth enjoyers welcome to fandom with lorillee 😭🙏

[cybermeep]

as to not taint the humor of the millipede post, i say this separately and as its own sort of weird entry thing; today was not all that nice. if you somehow wish to read emotional ramblings then feel free below i suppose. this will all probably be very embarrassing & stupid & gone at a certain point

at first, it seemed to be fine; by all accounts, i felt normal. i was happy, content, neutral, what have you. near the end of first period, i felt a sudden and all encompassing sort of emotional pain which is hard to explain besides a knife in ones gut. i try to shrug it off, go back to normal; i listen to instructions of my teacher before i ask to sit outside. i proceed to bawl my eyes out silently.

and you may ask, WHY? and i ask the exact same thing! i have no clue why i suddenly break down like this, but i do, and its heavy and uncomfortable. i sob out of both guilt and intense emotions unable to be placed anywhere definitively. i sob because i don’t know what else to do, as trying to hold my emotions in has seemingly only made me sick thus far in the day.

i continue to cry for an uncomfortable amount of time i won’t disclose. a teacher who i enjoy greatly sits beside me in the hall; without even having to say the words aloud, i answer him. i talk quietly of things i remember and talk of how upset i feel; not mad upset, but sad upset. he seems confused on what too much of something would be. ive been wondering this for months. he asks if it was possibly seen as something more intimate. i say this could be likely and i feel far worse; i feel awful, actually. he runs off because hes a busy man. i think about our conversation and i feel overwhelmingly distressed. i feel sick. i feel as if ive ruined everything by accidentally implying something different then what i may mean. i dont enjoy the vague way certain events occur. i hate being vague, i hate not being able to read between the lines of things; vagueness scares me to a point of distress and acute worry, which is probably hypocritical.

i have to resort to one of the stupidest things ive imagined in a long time in order to not feel the overwhelming & all encompassing feeling of wanting to [REDACTED]; imagining myself as stanley from the stanley parable and being lectured about how this action would quote make the timeline collapse in on itself or quote ruin the game by the narrator. i can imagine his voice clearly in my mind saying STANLEY, YOU CAN’T SELF-IMMOLATE STANLEY, THAT WOULD RUIN EVERYTHING WE WORKED FOR! something stupid like that. its odd that it helped.

i was fine, although i then proceeded to not be fine. got asked if i was okay. answered truthfully and said no. an acquaintance prompted me to talk about it with her, then simply.. left. had to find the girl she enjoys being with. she said she would find me later and talk about it; i really didn’t want to talk about it. i moved to put on my headphones then realized it was stupid & was already on the verge of tears again at simply the discussion from before & feeling like a circus animal being heavily scrutinized and laughed at under intense gaze. i get to class but i am overwhelmingly unable to do anything but cry.

i get to go to the library, but at the detriment to my friends. i text one and tell her i won’t be at lunch as im dealing with emotional distress and don’t want to quote, be a debbie downer. i am saddened at my actions; i wish i would’ve just went and talked with them, but i also don’t wish that i did because i hate distressing those i care about. i didn’t want to put more on my friends plates. i’d deal with it myself

of course, nothing is ever sound & calm for long; the area which i feel comfortable crying in is overtaken and i move uncomfortably. i am asked if im okay. i lie blatantly to a girl ive known as an acquaintance for years. i feel bad for lying; i don’t want her to worry about me. it wasn’t important, anyway. eventually i regain my composure and get back to class. it ends and i move on; as per usual, my mood fluctuates and i soon find myself worried sick and leaving her classroom.

i stay after although i know the chess club is cancelled for this week. i don’t like the change. its not as if im mad at the change, i just so desperately wanted to believe the days i dealt with before actually still accumulated to something i enjoyed. now the one thing i enjoy is off to not occur for next week, either; giving me very little to look forward to, if anything

i sit in the airlock. i write in my notebook a list of things someone would do before self-immolation. hypothetically, of course. maybe four or five things on it are actually things one would care about. one is to play a DLC, another is to finish a novel; one is to stay in order to see the cicadas arrive & to visit the cemetery in the spring like someone (fine, me!) mentioned weeks back that i wanted to do. its uncomfortable how the novel i enjoyed dearly was not one of the important things on the list.

it takes quite a lot to kill me, i think. kind of like a tick.

i’ll be fine; i always am. i think ive gotten better. im slowly feeling more and more sane again, although the stress puke is still prevalent. as ive lived on, its gone down to a point where i just gag; don’t puke. i enjoy documenting when i do feel things like this, strangely enough. having an archive of my life makes me feel sane. its also interesting to look back on.

thanks if you read this somehow, even after the warning of how stupid it would be. i appreciate you, hypothetical reader. i enjoy your hypothetical quiet company

[ast4rtrying]

I js wna say what i feel abt that time

Or rather what i still feel sometimes

Dear lord,

I dont know why, sometimes i still feel like theres a mask between us, some sort of thick wall

unlike when we would message or talk to each other and reply most things immediately or ask for and give elaboration quickly, things are a lot slower now

I dont know why, i dont want to face it, its fkin unreasonable but sometimes i just feel abit ignored when i ask some things but they arent answered. I unds that in a public space like this we cant answer sensitive things as freely or answer everything bcos its js so slow too, i know. I dont know, i dont see a way to fix this while keeping things smooth and tidy and in line with our promises, i dont

I know i do this sometimes too, sometimes i forget to return to another topic when we're already going down one lane of thought, even if its as impt

I also know that i can ask a lot of qs, a lot of weird or obvious qs that maybe have already been answered, its really js childish for me to expect an answer for them esp in such a slow env and even more so if it seems obvious alr hais, im sorry for that, really adding a lot of stuff clogging up our blogs

And i know its tiring to have to reply to everything posted, i shouldnt have even expected that in the first place. Im sorry its unreasonable, these expectations are unrealistic, and ive been unreasonable too. Im sorry, please forgive me lord, i hope that daniel may forgive me too

Im sorry for that, if i made him feel sad or unheard lord. Im sorry that i didnt make enough effort sometimes to detect what hes feeling, instead focussinh too much on solving it. Im sorry if it made him feel frustrated or ignored like i did sometimes. Im sorry, im trying to do better there and wherever i can too. I pray that you would forgive me for these and anyth else ive done wrong to or hurt you or daniel by doing. I pray that he would forgive me too for any of these that ive hurt him by doing lord. Im sorry lord, and im sorry daniel. Please forgive me

I know we are both trying. We ARE both trying and its hard to address or talk about everything this way js bcos its so slow, theres not enough time in a day to address everything on our minds

Please help us lord, teach us how and give us strength to fix whatever issues or rifts between us, or outside of this relationship that could still be affecting us.

Lord, you provide for all your creations, please help daniel sleep well at night and eat well and regularly each day so that he can live a full and fulfilling life according to your plan for him.

Please heal his body and his stomach of its pain and restore it according to your design for him, so that he can live comfortably and smoothly each day.

Please calm and restore his mind and mental health so that he can live happily and peacefully and fully enjoy this world you have created for him to explore and make better with the gifts you have given him.

Lord, please take care of daniel, help him to live well, fulfilled and happy and following you, regardless of the obstacles or challenges he may face, help him to always be able to overcome them and trust in you.

Please help us both to be honest with ourselves, you and each other and always to support and empathise with each other especially when things are tough.

Thank you for taking care of us and helping our relationship grow thus far, we pray that you will continue to watch over us and help us maintain our relationship in a way that strengthens it, each other and honours you always lord.

Praise you for all your goodness, love, wisdom, mercy and justice, lord, may we praise you forever on earth and with you in heaven. In jesus' name, amen.

Lord, i forgive him already. Amen

Please forgive me world, im sorry for being unreasonable

I hope he is sleeping well

[3holmes]

If Arya mercy kills Sandor, or he dies at all, I riot. You're telling me the only way to bring Sandor peace is to kill his brother, who isn't even his brother anymore but a damn zombie. Then he dies? That's his story? I'll hunt down d&d and slap them twice each across the face.

[actualbird]

// very vague and unspecific spoilers for basically everybody’s stories everywhere, specific spoilers maybe in linked analyses, obligatory disclaimer that these are just my own opinions and interpretations

character analysis: the nxx boys and “bad things”

okay so ive made a chart and it’s gonna look like A Lot but i swear i can explain myself fully if you read to the end

this chart is visualizing what each nxx boys’ tendencies, behaviors, and actions seem to lead back to.

on the left side, we have vyn and marius. 

i havent played too many of vyn’s stories, but thanks to some discussion with my friend kathleen @miladymiss​, somebody who HAS played a bunch of vyn’s stories, ive come to the vague conclusion that vyn has this general perception and belief that the world is cruel. he has an expectation that everybody has some kind of ulterior motive, that people will cast out those who are not in accordance with the mainstream, that people will hurt others. he does not want bad things to happen to him mostly because he expects that bad things will happen. to counter this, he leverages himself into a place of control more often than not (link leads to a prev vyn theory i wrote about this). 

marius on the other hand seems be the opposite in the sense that it’s actually his hope that people can/will be good that gets him into hot water. he employs facades and acts to protect himself from bad things happening to him (link leads to a prev marius analysis i wrote about this), because lol that actually has already happened a bunch, and yet he still has some a belief that people can change, something that makes him go to many lengths to try and prove.  if vyn expects that bad things will happen, marius does too, but marius, deep down, still wants to be wrong about that. to counter the danger his hope may cause, he puts up walls to mask his sincerity and true self.

vyn actively puts himself in control so that bad things do not happen to him. marius passively protects himself with his masks so that if bad things do happen to him, he’ll get out of it somewhat unscathed (or at least thats what he hopes, rip king). vyn is taking charge while marius is taking precautions.

but i want to immediately nix the thought of “i do not want bad things happening to me” being a purely selfish desire, because this desire, when pushed by friendship and/or love for another person, branches out into “i do not want bad things happening to you.” that’s pretty damn selfless! it’s protective! vyn and marius caring about another person would be them thinking something along the lines of “dont be too trusting, that will only get you hurt.”

now on the right side, we’ve got luke and artem

let me go to artem first (because i want to save my ultimate fave for last HAHA). the thing about artem and the “bad things” he doesnt want to do is that it manifests in the form of failure. ive said in a bunch of posts (cant link them bc theyre scattered over several posts hhh) that my vague conclusion on artem is that he holds himself to a merciless and meticulous standard because his life has been all about earning things, and the only way to earn things (sometimes things that do not need to be earned, like...happiness, artem, u good???), is to work tirelessly for those things. artem is scared of being underserving, and if he underserving, if he fails, he is a committing a sort of passive “bad thing” to those around him. 

luke, on the other hand, is in my opinion, frigging nuts. ive written an analysis on how luke perceives his existence and effect on other people’s lives as an inevitable negative. in this analysis, there is no “if i fail,” like artem. to luke, he thinks he’s already done it. and it’s not that he’s failed, it’s that he’s a bad thing completely (or at least a bad thing waiting to happen, and for him, thats fucking close enough). luke is both simultaneously scared of not being good and resigned that he is not good. he thus thinks that almost all of his desires are selfish and/or greedy somehow, because hey, im bad, why do i get to even want the rewards of being loved, thats not right! to luke, he is actively committing a “bad thing” to those around him at every given moment of his current life.

artem passively stops himself from being a bad thing by repressing aspects of himself he thinks to be faulty and/or not perfect (most of the time, emotions) to protect those around him. luke actively stops himself from being bad thing by putting the lives/desires of others above his own life/desires as some kind of penance for the people around him. 

now i want to immediately nix the thought that “i do not want to do bad things to others” as a purely selfless desire. it looks like that at first, but when this concept is pushed by friendship/love onto another person, it branches out into “i do not want to do bad things to you.” which, sure, is noble, but is also very focused on the self, on wanting to control the self and self’s effect on other people’s lives.

vyn and marius are worried about the threats from the outside while artem and luke are worried about the threats coming from themselves. all of them have their specific ways of dealing with this worry. all of them have their pros and cons, their strengths and weaknesses, but damn.

doesnt it feel great to see it all compared and contrasted on a chart???

....or is that just me HAHA

[gayspock]

OK assorted black sails thoughts bc i didnt wanna make a billion individual posts

- first of all i find starz funny bc for real i swear ive never freaking heard of it before, except for torchwood: miracle day which.... literally i never finished but thats a whole ramble for another time (bc despite torchwood being VERY bumpy, i found a lot of value in it, but miracle day was just. give us nothing! to me...help)

- the women on the show are kind of a shame i mean. im not fuming its more of a (dejected sighhhh) lies back do you know what i mean bc its hardly worse than anything else but help... theyre all gorgeous models thus far do you know what i mean. i dont know. i think its just odd sometimes to look at it when the men are all fucking foul looking, mucky type of guys (<3!) and then the girlies are just like hiii<3 like okay LOL. max is rlly pretty tho (as is the lass in the hat- whose name i didnt atch..) so i shant be mad but its also likehelp... even just an OLDER? woman. not even one? sniffy sniffy? okayyy i'll settle

- the gentleman do have some wonderful haircuts i will say. rackham's stoner transmasc that hangs about in unique trousers round the back of spoons.... i mentioned it already but help. your rat tail... and flints pathetic and limp little ponytail. shrimptastic it is.... and johnny silver. (twirls his hair for him)

- INTRO ALSO FUCKS LIKE MAD BTW.

- i love a woman with daddy issues. i cant relate to any of them. not to eleanor, or to shiv or helena or any of the fine women with father problems despite having many of my own. but its very fun to watch them. like girlies (twirls my hair) just give him a slap.... who cares<3

- btw im screaming... john is sooo funny. what a silly little guy. i think hes going to get himself killed he is like a looney tunes character who should have been dead 5 scenes ago but he keeps defying all sense and falling pianos. the very definition of a rapscallion. he is a problem to us all

- whent hey just state their names and theit ships at each other. okay so cute girlies i bet you'd write that in your tinder bios huh<3?

- also i know i keep mocking and also fawning over flints stupid little ponytail but i think he for real deserves long gorgeous beautiful hair. like it would only make sense.

- theres so many guys in here from other things but only a little bit. i know i mentioned billy bones (SO FUNNY STILL) who keeeepsss following me but everyone else is sorta recogniseable. charles was in the 100 ik this. but like hi eeryone hii LOL

- "however what?" "however let me tell you a story. about a spaniard named vazquez." I THINK FLINT LITERALLY SAYS THIS HENEVER ANYHTING AWKWARD HAPPENS TO HIM. I THINK HE LITERALLY DROPS AND SMASHES A PLATE IN IKEA AND THEY COME OVER TO HIM AND HE JUST SAYS LET ME TELL YOU A STORY. I THINK THEY CATCH HIM NICKING 5P BAGS FROM TESCO AND HES LIKE HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT A GENTLEMAN VAZQUEZ. I THINK, PERHAPS, FLINT WOUL HIT SOMEONE WITH A CAR UNDER THE INFLUENCE. AND SIMPLY SAY THE URCA DE LIMA.............. IT WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSURANCE. GOD.

- also i dont know treausre island that well . do you guys think itd be worth a read at some point. not even wrt the show here just idk ik these guys are those guys <3

- i will say also tho btw. u know that reminds me of. i love it when ppl get rlly mad abt, like, funny re-imaginings of old stories, myth and folklore like this. SORRY. JUST SAYING. i remember of all the issues there were bbc merlin, ppl fucking fuming bc it disgraces arthurian legend. girlie i dont think colin morgan made patheitc little fuck me eyes for 5 seasons for authenticity.

- speaking of. sir percival billy bones is so funny. its like theyre keeping him around just to take the piss of their big strapping guy arent they.

- i also love gates. one like to slap his bald head

- ANNE? IS THAT HER NAME? I WANT HER CREEPY CRAWLY PUSSY SO BADLY. i realise thats her name. i think. shes also like... insanely fucking hot. im like obsessed with her a bit. its the hat. and the voice. i would not give a shit otherwise- i do admit.

- ALSO: THE SEX WORKERS AT THIS PORT ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY PEOPLE WITH ANY FUCKING COMPETENCE.

- I KNOW I KEEP GOINGON ABTO HIS HAIR BUT T. THE VERY DEFINITION OF T BOY SWAG I TBHINK IM ABOUT TO PUKE

- NO WAY NO WAYYYY HE STINKS OF WEED SO BAD

- RIGHT UH- this is one of the issues of just putting uncollected thoughts into a post like this, ehrm. im approaching the scene i was warned about

- i had a feeling.... with vane. i was worried he was going to force himself on eleanor after the warnings- because certainly, his character is portrayed in a particular way thus far, to the point where it was like... well had i not been warned, i wouldnt think it, but yeah. ehrm. i guessed.. him - or at least, he would have sth to do with it, as he has here- but god. i forgot about max and i was just thinking: they wouldnt let her go, surely that makes no sense with how early we are into the show, unless its one of THOSE shows where characters are brought in and out like theres a fucking rotating door, with no rhyme or reason- but no ehrm.. yeah. :(

- and now jesus. eleanor girlie i know he ha slong hair but jesus dont just mount him cmon... cmon!!

- sighhh... ok!! end of ep 3. really sombre way to end but <3 there we go... I'LL drop this now. idk if i'll watch more tonight orrrr wht! :3 love and light

[crafty-business4130]

so to expand upon this lets go in some ideas on what helscraft is like

i like to think that helscraft is a weird glitched copy of the overworld and the nether mixed together. for the cannon of my hermit duplicate’s AU (of which i will be referring to within this post) the dimension of helscraft isnt really a full dimension that always appears in every world like the end and nether. it only spawns into a world after a year or so of players putting all of their love and care into the world. the world builds up enough of all that good energy and then causes a opposite opposing Force to form. thus helscraft spawns into existence. in a way you could say the whole dimension of helscraft is a duplicate as well.

now one thing that kinda throws a a wrench in the works of this idea is that every year or so the hermits move into a new world, though since its normally has been roughly the same amount of players in each season we can go with the hermitcraft dimension of hels is carried over with each world jump. the world of hels change to match the new overworld but its still the same helshermits. though for the hermits that leave the server their hels counterpart disappears.  this may also work in reverse as well. only have one example so far so who know :) cOUGHCOughNHOcOUGh

with the the hows and whys on helscraft existence out-of-the-way let's get into some worldbuilding!

as ive already mentioned, helscraft is somewhat of a glitchy mix of the overworld and nether. what i havent mentioned is that a good bit of the April Fools updates and removed features for the overworld ended up floating over to helscraft but unlike the overworld in which these features disappear pretty quickly they ended up sticking around in helscraft, for better or worst. 

heres a list of examples of this, of which i then expanded upon them to make them more fleshed-out. 

the list got really long so the rest of the post is under the cut! :D

Pig and cow sized horses, if fed too much will cause the animal to grow dangerous mutations that can not only kill the animal but make its remains toxic and unedible. You can make a green book via using toxic leather (the crafting book)

A common spell is to summon flame that then can be used for new crafting recipes. one such recipe is flaming barrels, if someone walks too close it will explode, another is chainmail armor

if you put too much fuel into a furnace it will explode.

torches burn out an hour or two after being lit

chickens are deadly, do not provoke them. it is extremely rare but the is a very small chance spawn in a blue chicken. only able to spawn via throwing eggs. it drops lapis and diamonds instead of eggs. beware tho, all chickens in the immediate vicinity will protect the blue one with their lives and will attack anything that gets too close.

eating or feeding an animal a god apple will cause it to float upwards for five minutes before slowly descending back to the ground. 

Wheat if not chopped after fully grown will go bad and die, same thing with other crops. though you can make Iron infused melon and pumpkins, it insures that the stem won't die over time after its first produce

Powered Redstone causes redstone bugs to spawn, it can be stopped by combining lapis and redstone dust together to make bluestone dust. asifhfsssdhv only a noob uses redstone.

Redstone wire, another alternative of redstone made with redstone dust surrounded by cobwebs. it insulates the redstone and stops bugs from spawning. pretty much the same thing function wise but is a pretty cool thing to use to flex on others

Villagers are instead piglins, not the tanned ones added into the nether update but rather pink skinned ones.

Glowing obsidian, a glowing red version of obsidian. Only found in trades with piglins

In helscraft there are lava oceans instead of water, water can only be found deep underground. Lava instead of water is infinite, water is no longer infinite. 

The world of hels first looked like the indev world theme of hell, with following updates to the overworld helscraft changed and evolved as well. There is no sun nor moon, just a forever floating layer of lava that acts to light up the dimension. 

Frostwalker is instead, Magmawalker, turning lava into magma blocks shortly before melting back into lava

Boss fights arent the same in helscraft as in the normal overworld and its closely neighboring tied in dimensions of the end and nether. Not found in helscraft are Guardians, the ender dragon, and technically the Wither as well. Instead you can find Giants, the red dragon, the four horse men(much more difficult to defeat)

Giants unlike the ai less ones you can spawn using commands are living and breathing monsters that roam the land. During their travels any ghasts they cross will join them on their wandering

Ghasts can be somewhat tamed in helscraft. If you can successfully capture a baby ghast from its parents and raise it yourself the ghast will be malleable enough, somewhat like foxes but just a bit more wild. If you happen to accidentally harm them it will turn on you and fight you to the death, be it your’s or theirs.

It's a very very rare find but huge brick pyramids can spawn into the world. in season 7 helscraft’s cubfan took up residence within one that spawned in Incredibly Close to spawn

There are alot of different nonsensical potions that can be brewed for interesting drinks. some have a use, most dont tho. all of em have amazingly different tastes and smells

instead of honeycomb there is crystallized honey, it functions as pretty much the exact same thing. has its block too, call the wax block.

Killer bunnies spawn in more often than normal bunnies

Og stonecutter, can cut blocks into half. Not only used for stone. can cut doors, beds, and much more into halfs

Nether reactor core, could be the key on how to jump between the hermitcraft and helscraft. will need to think on this idea some more though

Petrified Forest, a biome within helscraft that has wood as hard as stone and a texture reminiscent of a mix of acacia and crimson planks color wise.

unsure as of yet on what to call it but the volcanic biome the Rempirer had Rendog make is a biome within helscraft as well!(the Rempirer is ren’s helscraft counterpart... he wasnt always evil as he is now) 

the mobs that lost the vote found their way into helscraft, not just the moobloom all of them. the three mystery mobs from the 2017 and the ice illager. (i voted for the glow squid and while i do still stand by my decision it is truely a shame we might not see any of them all in the game ever )

Studded armor and plate armor, alternatives to leather and chainmail. studded armor is made with leather and stone and plate armor is made with smooth stone slabs

stained glass looks a bit like this

and colored wool like this!

and thats everything for now. ill probly be working out some more ideas since theres a surprisingly large amount of features that have been added to minecraft either hidden away in the background or removed.

 also if anyone wants a some links to where i found these old and mostly forgotten facts ill post em in the notes when i get the time to do so. theres a lot of them tho so i might forget a few

hey also if you like these you might also like my Discord! i made it for this au and i tend to share my ideas a bit more over there than over here. theres a lot to see :DD

[axolotlclown]

do you think dan will ever come back?? yes or no

welcome to my essay. the tldr is no.

honest to god i dont think anyone knows what hes doing. i think he wants to move away from youtube and work on more charity/of platform projects, but doesnt want to completely close the door for youtube all together. this would make sense from a glance, but if you break it down and think about the execution (which we're living in, so not much to think about L), it really just doesnt work as a legitimate career move. in order to sell books, post videos, release merch, or anything independent and monetary really, you need an audience who is willing to buy it. dan did have this. dan and phils community had some of the most dedicated people that honestly would buy anything if it had dan and phils name on it. they would watch any content that had dan and phil in it. this, for the both of them, could make really good charity opportunities possible (if they wanted to, at least). this fandom was also already used to content droughts, which would have made planning larger projects possible if more time was needed. the thing is, nowadays, this net base of people arent really around anymore. what dan failed on was presence. he simply wasnt around much. and when the public figure isnt public, the audience doesnt particularly have a reason to care anymore. its difficult, because you want to think that no matter what happens, youll always be supporting content creators you like, but the reality is: people lose interest. ive been in this fandom for about 6 years. the way this fandom functioned (and any stable fandom) is that for every person that lost interest and left, another person gained interest and joined. however, when theres more people joining than leaving, the fandom has to change policing tactics and accommodate them to the culture (some fandoms more than others) (this one especially). its common for young fandoms to go through this, and it makes them really unstable.

on the other hand, you have whats happening here. more people are losing interest and leaving than people are gaining interest and joining. the result is a lack of a reliable loyal net base of people, and an abundance (in phils case) of unreliable casual viewers likely getting exposure to the videos through their recommends (though we know phil was never one to care for the algorithm). this could be bad news for him as no one likes to rely on the algorithm. so lets say a video doesnt make it into the algorithm for whatever reason, he doesnt have that net base of people who regularly consume his content. the video fails and he doesnt make money. phil needs to work on building an engaged audience. i will come back to this.

so dan. he doesnt have a reliable audience buying his stuff no matter what hes selling anymore. his most recent book was very poorly received by most viewers. now, ive been here for two other book drops. i was here for the amazing book is not on fire and dan and phil go outside. tabinof was very well received because it was during the time when youtubers were pretending they could write books and everyone was excited that dan and phil got to make something tangible. it was coming right out of the bbc radio and and before they were announcing their first tour. things were really exciting, and people were ready to go broke to supoort them (or make their parents go broke with the average age range for the time) (we could also factor that but perhaps later). so what was the book everyone was so excited about? i mean..... it was very dan and phil. for the youtuber books coming out at the time, i would argue that its one of the better ones. its colorful and fun. its very on brand and does not pretend to be anything profound or otherwise something its not. it was just a fun sort of totem to everything theyve achieved thus far. but it really is just their videos in book form. not really anything more than that. dapgo (dan and phil go outside) was a photobook (yes, just pictures and pictures only) that they released that worked as sort of behind the scenes of their first tour. yes, they had Instagrams. yes, this book cost an arm and a leg. yes, people got excited and bought it and never complained or questioned what they were buying. for their second tour, they did use instagram stories for these photos. but could you imagine if they tried to charge us for pictures today? hell. that is what we would see, friend.

so what the ever loving fuck does all of that have to do with dans new book now? well, his book is sane and had effort, and yet it was met with resistance. in case you didnt read it, heres my official review: its fine. its very mental health 101. im sure if youve never stopped to care about your mental health once youd get something out of it, but i would never call it "therapy" or anything like that. to be fair, dan never did, the fanbase did. our bad. its sane, no red flags or particularly bad advice. you could tell he definitely relied on a professional for the meditation bits (which as a buddhist i found very amusing). but overall, a perfectly normal book. not profound, but also not necessarily bad. yet the fandom treated it like it was dans worst career move on the planet. to be honest, i dont think people ever cared that dan wrote a book at all, let alone its contents. people were upset about dans actual problem that is closing every single door he wants to keep open right now.

dan doesnt have a presence, and dan doesnt communicate where content is or when it will release. unexplained hiatuses, vague low effort tweets here and there, lack of public content, it all kind of stirs together into this sort of nothingness. its very easy to lose interest. dan has lost virtually all of his net base audience. so whenever be does upload, he relies on the algorithm? the algorithm doesnt take to those who upload once every two years. he only really has a chance at making collaborations on his youtube channel (such as the youtube pride), but he'll have to rely on them to promote for him. we saw youtube pride did not do this very well for him. but the video still did okay though right? it failed miserably. it didnt even break a million views (or at least when the view count was still visible) (its not anymore btw i looked) (didnt want to spread slander and lies, but as it turns out theres no point anymore). just scroll down for a while and look at older content. do this for phil, too. that was that reliable net base of people coming and watching every single video.

this is really closing the door for dan as far as youtube goes, and since thats his reputation and audience, its closing the door for other public projects. i dont think thats his intention, but i dont think he can fix it, at least quickly or easily. so in short, no i dont think dan will be able to make a tangible comeback. i will revist why this upsets me, lets cut to commercial break.

our commercial break: phil. specifically how he can regrow an audience. what it seems like he realizes is that videos that contain dan get SIGNIFICANTLY more views. this is understandable given the circumstances, but i dont think its smart for phil to lean on dan right now. i think he needs to reevaluate why the gaming channel worked. heres a hint, its not really because of joint content. the gaming channel provided two things: 1) variety; dan and phil each individually produced very different styles of content. the gaming channel provided content that everyone in the community could enjoy as gaming content is a very safe form of easy content. 2) presence; again, EASY CONTENT. the gaming channel was able to push out content faster than dan and phil could on their seperate channels. it was also helped that they were also doing liveshows every week at the time. no matter what was going on, we always saw them once a week somewhere. phil (and i cannot emphasize this enough, IN MY OPINION) really should move away from joint content and focus more on solo variety. its really the best way for him to build up a newer audience for his own INDEPENDENT brand. which i believe is more important for him right now. branching out and having multiple platforms would also be a great way for him to reach a larger audience. now, i know youre probably following me and thinking to yourself, "dante, you have an agenda and phils never going to follow it, you fool." well, hes the fool. i want him to look me in the eyes and tell me why streaming gaming on twitch is a bad idea. it would fix all of his problems. trust me bro, im basically a guru. no seriously, hes been sitting on a partnered twitch account for, like, five fucking years, man. (REAL) you can search for it on twitch its very there still. i am destroyed and emotionally wrecked. please.

oh yeah, why dan pisses me off. ok. so, hes an activist that works with charities. and he has a platform to boost the presence of these charities. and he doesnt use them. i am now in a seperate fandom, to be honest. i will now use this other content creator as an example of the potential of platform and presence. one streamer i like did a charity stream about a month ago for charity water. in a 16 hour stream (which isnt realistic for dan or phil but hold on), he raised $325k dollars. earlier this year like around February (i think?), for a significantly shorter stream, he raised over $100k for the trevor project. i will now reveal to you that this streamer is FUCKING 17 YEARS OLD. but the thing is, he knows how to do his job and he does it well. he understands how he can make money. 1) he hyped up the stream the stream which meant he had to communicate not only that there was going to be one ahead of time, but also be present to talk about it with his audience. 2) he did plenty of variety on the stream to attract a broader arrange of viewers and 3) because of networking, friends and other acquaintances were able to loyally vouch for the stream (something dan and phil never really had, but i suppose it makes sense why) (i will remain neutral on this point, and i advise to not let it distract from the conversation). basically, i disagree with the more traditional path dan has taken as an activist. he has this massive platform, and yet we never really see the work he does. his platform gives him so many opportunities to do so many great things that he believes in, but he never took advantage of any of it.

im not too sure what hes up to now, but i cant imagine itll be public content, and if it is, it likely wont be as successful as he would hope. i just dont think well be seeing him as a public figure much anymore, and if phil were smart, hed be seeing him that way too sooner rather than later.

note: i may skim this but i just spent several hours typing it up. i will not proofread in a way that matters. i also have auto capitalization off, and thats a lot of manual capitalizing i dont want to do. i do hope this a) gives you something to chew on but b) starts a broader coversation because i see a lot of conversation around dan take the wrong angle almost every time. like, we have the same conclusions, just different angles. i also didnt add age and variety of the audience because id rather someone older add onto that. like, im a college student now, but im still pretty young and was very young when i joined this fandom. i also called it fandom and not phandom because i love myself. anyway, good day to you. have this meme.

[collisiondiscourse]

Ok i'll bite what's a homestuck ~ra✨

oh!! you said the magic words, ra <3 so! without further ado...

let me tell you about homestuck.

ok i never really expected this day to come but holy shit it did and now i am incredibly stumped for words.

homestuck is... a lot. its a webcomic, for starters, that ran from April 13 of 2007 to April 13 of 2016. it was made by andrew hussie, his magnum opus from his series of MS Paint Adventures which is named such due to the art... being made in MS Paint.

the whole hubbub and reason why every 4/13 homestucks come crawling from the pits of hell with grey paint and apple juice is because it is the most significant date in the series. Aside from it being the literal start and end points of the webcomic itself, April 13 is the birthday of homestuck’s main character: John Egbert.

The series itself revolves mainly around four teenagers: John Egbert, Dave Strider (my beloved <3), Rose Lalonde, and Jade Harley. They play this game called SBURB and are essentially... sucked into it and undergo lots of crazy shit within it. I don’t want to get too into it, but its... certainly interesting. For reference, remember they are called the Beta Kids.

At some point in the series, our four protagonists encounter twelve new characters (known as the Beta Trolls) notably themed after each of the zodiacs. These characters are known as trolls. They have grey skin, yellow eyes, and candy corn-esque horns, which is why youll often see many people with those features in the tags of homestuck. They are also major characters in the series and are fan favorites of MANY.

Hussie created an entire culture for these creatures. buckets are known contraceptives and the world they live in is hierarchal. Their worth is based on the color of their blood (candy red being the mutant outcasts, to fuschia being royalty), and each troll of these twelve is denoted by their zodiac symbol.

they also have a different social structure.

of the troll romances, there are four kinds. this isnt super relevant, but most people are confused so here is a breakdown of Quadrants that is grossly oversimplified. also note that these are usually portrayed as monogamous (i.e. you can only have one of each quadrant)

- Matesprits (♡) are your typical lovers--translated as romance to humans. noun: matespritship

- Moirails (♢) are your best friends. they also have the task of being your pseudo-therapist because alternia (troll world) is fucked up like that. noun: moirallegience

- Kismesis (♤) are... hate fucks? essentially they’re your sworn enemies but also you care about them and have sex sometimes. enemies to lovers but you never stop being enemies personified. noun: kismesissitude

Auspistices (♧) are like self designated referees or marriage counsellors. They usually find antagonistic troll pairs and work their problems out, basically feeling nosy because they want their friends to get along.

i really dont have any excuse for why these are so complicated, but the common excuse is that trolls are incapable of feeling like, love as we know it? a lot of their base feelings are pointed towards lust or pity. idk. my homestuck knowledge is rusty. also all the trolls are canonically pansexual i think?

ANYWAY.

Homestuck is typically lauded for its both amazingly chaotic vibes (search Dave Strider quotes or dancestors character designs for reference) and interesting storytelling medium. it doesnt tell a story like any other piece of media ive ever consumed, thus making it interesting to go through. The whole thing also began on a poll system wherein fans actually CHOSE the actions taken in the story before it got too big and hussie simply wrote it by himself. all of the music and animation was made by FANS in collaboration with hussie, leading to AMAZING sequences, [S]Cascade (which is up on youtube!) being one of the best examples. 

the whole series is beset on all sides with lots of inane and colorful ideas. Some may call homestuck too “”busy”” and cramped to be good, which i dont totally disagree with. Amid the already colorful cast and dialogue, homestuck also touches many things like time travel, parallel universes, and even existentialism at a few points.

The timeline for each character is absolutely whack beyond comprehension, and most characters in the series have died at least TWICE (Dave and Dirk at the lead with at least 8 deaths each). There are even further amounts of mindfuckery with alternate sets of characters like the Alpha Kids, composed of Jane Crocker (also born 4/13), Dirk Strider, Roxy Lalonde, and Jake English. 

Among these characters, I’d like to say that Jane is technically John’s grandmother while John is Jane’s father, Dirk is Dave’s older brother/father and Dave is ALSO Dirk’s older brother and father, Roxy and Rose are each other’s moms, and Jake and Jade are somehow each others grandparents.

Confused? We are too.

...and psst, there are Alpha Trolls aka The Dancestors too. One’s themed after Dante Basco.

Moving on from that, there are guardians and travellers and even more troll ancestors--basically so many characters that if i listed them all i think tumblr would crash this post. They all die and live and fight and die again over and over, but I think that getting into it would reveal a few too many spoilers and also just make my fingers hurt.

Definitively? I don’t think there’s any way for me to tell you all about homestuck and my deep feelings on it in a single sitting and one ask. The webcomic is a vast and deep experience that I don’t want to ruin you experiencing for the first time with too much babbling, but just know that it is something i think is simply brilliant. People definitely shit on it, and most homestucks will tell you themselves ironically or unironically that it ruined their lives, but as a final note--i just wanted to end my 4/13 ramble with one final reference.

you can’t fight the homestuck <3

-

p.s. even if you aren’t gonna get into the series, at least listen to john’s theme song. its really nice. also you can’t fight the homestuck is a classic

john’s theme

[madisonrooney]

hi it's your secret santa! first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! i hope you have a wonderful day! how are you celebrating, if you are at all? safely, i hope! either way i hope you manage to find a way to have a great day full of love!! consider my christmas gift a belated birthday gift as well lol. anyway i loved reading your last answer, it was so thoughtful and sweet. i realized after reading that i barely know anything about dove lol so follow up q: what about dove makes you love her so much?

sorry for the late response! the last couple days have been v busy and ive been super tired and dissociative on top of it so i made a point to save this bc i wanted to give it my full attention!

first of all thank you!! i was going to do a virtual meet and greet with one of my favs from jersey boys but he got confused about timezones so we rescheduled but were doing it next week! then i went to a virtual walt disney family museum panel, had pizza for dinner and watched some liv and maddie, my mom made a cookie cake that we ate while watching the grinch musical, and then some friends and i watched the jersey boys movie together over skype!

im so glad you enjoyed reading my last answer! and oof thats another loaded question (i love it tho)

- like i said when first talking about what drew me to her and liv and maddie, a big thing is just how much passion and love she puts into her characters. ofc she puts passion into every character she plays, but its the passion she puts into characters like liv, maddie, and mal that means the most to me. that goes back to the fact that ive dealt with a lot of negativity directed towards me for enjoying disney channel, and then you have dove out here saying “yah im a teenager/twenty-something who not only respects what theyre doing on disney channel, but puts my all into it” not to mention she even won an emmy for playing liv and maddie in season 4! i hope that passion and talent has started to change the conversation about disney channel, and tbh i think it has at least a bit.  ofc, none of this is to say other people her age acting on disney channel arent talented and passionate, but idk, something about her has always stood out to me. i find her to be more animated and expressive than most. it can be hard for me to read emotions in live action movies and shows, so thats been really important for me. not to mention she was not only playing the lead but TWO lead characters on a four season show with distinct personalities but also subtle similarities. AND the main character in the biggest DCOM franchise in years for 5 years running now. PLUS the fact that there was a period where those were both happening at the same time. she was only 16 when she started all this and hadnt even had any big roles prior to it!! she had a lot of responsibility so it was amazing to see her not only pull it off, but excel at it.

- i just love like....her aesthetic?? shes always seemed to be a very old soul to me, into old jazz music and poetry and stuff like that. its just very charming. and for her to have that aesthetic on top of being a disney channel actress is a fascinating juxtaposition.

- this is kind of sappy and it gets tiring to hear it said over and over again but that doesnt mean it isnt true: i love how transparent she is about her struggles with mental health issues, trauma, and such. she has been for a long time but even more so over the last year or two. no shade to anyone else, but a lot of actors dont really give you a look into their personal lives, they just share and promote their product. im not saying theres anything wrong with that, its good to know what youre comfortable sharing, ive just felt all the more close to her with her being as open as she is, especially as someone who has gone through trauma myself, albeit different from hers.

- kind of connected to that, i love how important spreading kindness, positivity, and love is to her. thats another thing thats been said a million times but still, its very important to me.

for example. she’ll randomly tweet things like “i love you” a lot. im one to always think of the thought process that goes on behind whatever someone posts, texts, etc., bc personally i put a lot of a thought into pretty much anything i say or do before i put it out there publicly, probably bc of my social anxiety. even tho its a simple statement and takes her a couple seconds to post, she still had to have the thought “i want to remind my fans that theyre loved” or something along those lines. and she has this thought FREQUENTLY. to just randomly get a notification every few days or weeks or so of her saying something like that is just very heartwarming to me.

the reason i connected with miley so much when she helped me through my initial trauma was bc it felt like even if no one loved me, she loves her fans, thus she loves me. thus the person i love and admire the most loves me. even if its only one person, it can be enough. it was for me at the time. i feel that same way with dove. when she came into my life, i didn’t feel as unloved, but her love was still helpful to me.

- of course i need to specifically talk about her kindness in person too. dont get me wrong (ive been saying that a lot havent i lol), i totally and completely loved her long before i met her, but naturally, i love her 10x more after the experiences ive had getting to know her in person.

i could go ONNNNNNN about the experiences ive had with her, and i have lol, and if you already heard me ramble about this in the server i apologize, but the most important thing ive taken away from every encounter ive had with her is this: she always goes the extra mile. she always goes out of her way to make people feel special. what i mean by that is she could say/do HALF as much as she has when meeting me and i would still leave over the moon feeling loved. you can tell she does this in excess bc she really truly means it and cares about people like me, she doesnt have any kind of ulterior motive and isnt just going through the motions doing whats asked of her, she simply cares about me and the rest of her fans. some examples - the first time we met, i was sobbing (lol) and she hugged me for a really long time, rocking me back and forth, brushing my hair with her thumb, calling me sweetheart and honey. she even started to tear up a bit herself. - a couple months later, i went to my first liv and maddie taping. i was preparing to reintroduce myself (i looked a little different bc id been cosplaying as maddie the first time i met her) and ofc when preparing myself, i fantasized pretty heavily as i usually do and pictured myself showing her the pic of us on my phone, her gasping, jumping out of her chair screaming, and hugging me, thinking that was probably way more than i was gonna get. that is EXACTLY what happened. then she went on to tell me how my costume made her whole weekend. things like this would continue to happen where i would set the bar impossibly high and not only would she meet it but she’d exceed it. - our usual interaction from there on would start with her face lighting up when she saw me, her calling me some kind of cute name like love or baby, and then hugging me without me even having to initiate it. - when i saw her in mamma mia, i didnt know when id be seeing her again afterwards after pretty consistently getting to see her for 2 years, so i wanted to make sure we got some kind of closure. at the stage door, i reminded her how much she meant to me and just expected like an “aww i love you too” or something back, but she said “you are an angel in my life” and i will never forget that. obvs, i havent told her ALL the details about what she and her characters mean to me but like...she can tell. she can tell if im in a homemade maddie costume sobbing into her arms that theres something there, and shes VERY appreciative of that. - i thankfully got to see her at a meet and greet a few months later and every time i thought i should get going cuz i didnt want to hold the line up, she would just open her arms for another hug. speaking of being appreciative, she even said “thank you for being such a supportive fan.” as i left, i turned around to say one last goodbye. i made sure she wasnt with the next fan yet and yelled out “bye!” and she yelled back “I LOVE YOU!!” and blew me a kiss. again, its the little things. - i saw her at a small panel in new york a few months after that. she walked in the room when the lights were down as they were playing a clip, she quietly waved hi to everyone, then saw me and loudly whispered HI BABY!!! and stopped on her way to the stage to give me a hug. (then she looked at me from the stage and asked which way i thought she should cross her legs for the interview lol) - sometimes when she sees im next in line, shell give me a knowing smile or whisper “hi baby!!” or something like that. she saw me in the crowd after clueless and seemed to make a point to come to me last bc she knew wed be talking for a while, which we did. she even told me she’d seen me in the audience, asking if i was in the front on the left, which i was.

even all that is still just scratching the surface. weve “known” each other for 5 years now and every time i think she’s done the most she can do, she outdoes herself again. not to mention when im at these events, i see her treat all the fans she meets with all of that kindness too. naturally all of this has made me love her all the more.

- finally, lets just be honest here..........................shes REALLY fucking hot.

[queerlyhalloween]

Not to sound like the joker™️ but i hate western society. I know that hair and clothes aren't gendered, so do most of my mates, ive been working hard at unlearning the internalized transphobia that's just a part of being trans in the UK and actually ALLOWING myself to think about going on hormones and dressing in ways other than "ambigious as possible" despite the fact im non-binary

i grew myself a little mullet because ive not been working in the pub and wanted solid snake hair, ive allowed myself to look at my face and the long hair around it and not despair because i know that longer hair doesn't make me a woman, but the moment you go into a shop, or get takeaway or pass by people in the street its all "move out the way of this lady!" and "thank you, ma'am"

i dont want the gender option of 'other' on my ID i want to know 1 good reason why gender should be listed on an ID in the 1st place

ive just come back from the range and i had my hair up like some e-thot fuckboy, i had to go BACK to the range because they got my click and collect order wrong so ive got two members of staff looking over my order, im dressed in black jeans and a black masc-looking ripped shirt, mask covering half my face and as the manager's showing the kid who served me the receipt they go "oh I served that guy earlier" and the manager corrects them "its a lady". I say "im niether" and they both just stare at me like im a toddler. Im already panicking because the air feels the same way it did when some cunt came after me in the pub toliets. "dont worry about it :)" i say, they both turn back to the tills and completely ignore me.

Anyway, micro-aggressions, ive experienced a lot of them for many reasons over the course of my life and today ive decided to snap.

Not at the people in the range like, just in general.

I will never pass. That's just an element of trans euphoria i will never get to experience. Not right off the bat, anyway. Not where i live, and most likely not in my lifetime. Maybe for kids in LA or Brighton, and hey power to you guys man im happy for you, but people assume or guess m/f when they look at me and they will never get it right.

So when i see people on this site try and twitter etc rank "who's the most oppressed"™️ like a godamn smash bros tier list it blows my mind because of all the things you could spend your days doing thats what youre expending energy on?!

You could be the exact same age, race, sex, gender, sexuality, you could have the exact same disabilities, mental health conditions and money in your bank as another person on this site and you'd still never understand what they've been through. Our experiences, our families, our morals and lives are always gonna be different and the moment you try to write definitive rules on whose got it worse you've already lost and you're already wrong. Oppressed classes are not a fucking hivemind and pretending they are is only going to cause you more problems. I get the strong sense that some of you looked at the word intersectionality, went "ah yeah, i know what that means" having never read up on the matter, then proceeded to play the pain olympics.

And its creating a culture where kids feel the need to spills their souls online to justify living their lives!

You've not listed your disabilites in your bio so you're able-bodied. You're Irish but haven't listed your race so you're white. You're cis man so you've never played with gender and suffered as a result. You're asexual so clearly you're a cringeworthy baby who's never experienced a wrong-doing in their life.

The reverse is true too, if you list every aspect of yourself then you're automatically honest. The more opressed you are the less likely you are of causing harm to others. Psht, don't have a carrd in this day and age? What are you, a fraud? cishet white man playing make believe? Post a selfie or face the wrath of ozymandaus. What's privacy? It takes me 3 minutes to read the bio on this discourse side-blog so clearly they're an angel.

my mam abused me for years, she did the same to my brother when i left home at 18 and my dad drank himself to death. My nan, his mother, never believed me because my mam's a disabled woman with a lot of trauma, and at 14 how do you explain to the woman who takes you to the beach that it's WORSE because as she's beckoning you to the side of her bed so she can scream point blank in your face, or hit you, you're never truely sure, you're thinking about running away because of course she physically can't chase you but she can throw. And then where would you go if you did buggar off?

"You have to sleep sometimes" she used to say to me when I'd piss her off. Other days she told me horror stories about kids in care, and disabled people having their kids taken away, made me promise that I'd always love her and always be her baby, and I'd do that for her because she's my mam, she'd be satisfied then ignore me for a while. I grew up thinking that was entirely normal until i'd tell funny family stories at school and nobody would laugh. The closest I got to truely running away was when I changed my name and pronouns and her rejection, turned to vitriol one night and I so, so, nearly held a knife to my throat and simply fell forwards in the uni showers. Obviously I didn't do that.

But she's had a shitter life than me thus far so she's in the right, as the online black/white dichotomy states. I keep her at arm's length but I'm unable to cut her away without losing the rest of my family because I dared defy the role of eldest child and care for her as I've done my whole life, as is expected.

we need to take things on a case by case basis, and learn when stuff is none of our business.

"Hey! :) I see you've reclaimed (X) slur, without submitting the proper paperwork. Real quick tell me every trauma you've ever experienced or I'll write a callout post :) delete this anonymous message (as is your right) and i'll assume you as sus ❤"

you can only call yourself a dyke if on your 13th birthday, the moon's tender rays struck you through your bedroom window and gave you your first wet dream about girls.

Great, cool. I have no interest in calling myself a dyke, i cant call myself a lesbian because it makes me dysphoric, thats why im queer, but i can assure you that when 3 kids from catholic school pinned me under the bridge and threatened to cut me open for being a "dirty dyke tramp" they didn't play 20Qs with me first to check that i was actually a lesbian.

if your first thought is "well thats just misdirected homophobia, so youre not ACTUALLY a victim" log the fuck off and consider what's wrong with you. Because all our oppressors care about is sniffing out the wrong on you and beating it out, they dont care what breed of wrong it is.

so you're going to spend your day, the enlightened adult that you are, frothing at the mouth because some 15yr old dared call themselves butch despite them being OnLY a BiSexUAl? You're gonna say that trans woman deserves to be suicidal because yes she may be trans BUT she's from the UK, so clearly she loves her horrid country and government. You're gonna say that black lad deserves racial abuse because he's trying to focus on his studies rather than go to protests. That 19yr old who's living in poverty deserves it because they work for Amazon. Texans deserve to freeze to death because there are republicans in Texas.

You're going to harass a complete stranger coming to terms with the parts of themselves society has taught them are worthless at best because they're not doing it the way YOU think is right.

This post has not ended where I started it but I really dont care:

Some of you are so fucking desperate to be the bullies you never got to be in secondary school and it shows. But you're cowards. You can't just admit you want to divide and concur so you do it in a new woke way and when your time on this earth is done, you'll have commited the same pain that's been dealt to you and wonder why you died miserable in a world thats more or less the same.

okay to reblog but dont @ me for a debate because i have, like, real problems and will just block you

[macklives]

session 81 end

wow, okay, first things first

AC!!!!!

shes so fucking cute holy shit i love her so much i dont even know where to begin??

i mean i guess its because im so used to troll snark and the way they just? banter constantly? seeing someone who is a literal ray of sunshine is so refreshing and wholesome and pure. god she’s great. shes a cat, she knows her stuff. she’s strong and theres also this guys???? who shes scared of?? and tells her what to do??? yeah no, idk who it is but let her make her own decisions lol

maybe its just over exaggeration or whatnot, and hes not bad but first impressions do a lot to me and right now the only thing i know about this guy is that AC needs his approval for everything. i guess ill see where that takes us. hopefully nowhere bad. but AC seems like she can take care of herself and knows how to be a good decent troll and i love her for that. wow it literally took me one dialogue to like her. damn, that was fast. jesus.

you know who else is great?

terezi.

yeah i know right. and that whole trial thing, which yeah i guess half the time i was confused by what the fuck is going on since i still cant grasp the idea of how alternia works, but i enjoyed myself with lemonsnout and how terezi roleplays and how much she gets into it. seeing a character that passionate about something is so sweet and nice.

god this was just a nice overall session

which i say, while i completely forgot about the banter TA and karkat got into

right, that happened. oh my god. they both literally stomped all over each other, dissed one another, still made up in the end because apparently thats their friendship and i guess it just works like that. depends on the friends you have, i guess.

its funny though, not gonna lie

and karkat as of now is just being a prick and honestly? 

like more than usual, which i guess is weird to say but i mean from present time to beginning of hivebent karkat. not that its uncommon for him to be a prick, he is, but seeing him go through the non-linear pattern with john is mmmmh interesting to say the least. though we havent seen his first trolling, just him constantly going “oh god what did i say, i was dumb” u know, not in those words but thats basically what he means. 

ooh im gonna analyze, i feel like analyzing right now my fingers have already typed so much as it is MIGHT AS WELL

and our candidate will be *drum rollll* karkat wow predictable (its below the cut because this is literally irrelevant now to the session)

okay, lets lay out the shit we have already. as i said before, the way he talks presently to john (meaning in the future) is so different than how he speaks to everyone now. of course the “i hate the world” personality is still there, and hes still just regular karkat, but karkat talking with john is patient to some extent and tells him what he needs to know for the game, lowkey kinda chills out once they started talking about movies or growing up as huh, didnt he say larvae or smth?

okay that whole grub thing makes sense now as i just wrote that but i am still confused as to what the FUCK that is implying because i dont think it crossed my mind this much, im repressing it for now until it comes up later. 

anyways, back to what i was saying. he was so DIFFERENT than the way he’s acting now which is bitch and moan and like? stfu karkat lmfao. i mean, its not THAT big of a difference in character, because i know he’s still his grumpy old self, and theres a lot of potential.. for growth? not sure if we’ll get it but i like to assume we will get character growth from these characters with fucking 8000 pages talking about them. but a story needs that growth and with karkat being just a straight up angry dude, in MY EYES, he should.. have growth, no? idk HOW he will grow, but im basically just taking what i have right now which isnt much but i analyze things for fun sometimes so let me be.

that being said, because its so early on, im not sure where homestuck is gonna go and i dont have much to go on but being in the psychology course shit happens when you have limited information and you gotta pin point what makes a person a person and how do they cope with things to grow further into life. many of my assignments involve limited info so honestly, not that hard.

but it is something that ive noticed, the way karkat is different as he grows which possibly means the whole veil thing happens later later on in his life and we havent yet seen that small growth become patience and not whining every time he doesnt get what he wants. but growth is common and it mostly likely happens to everyone, so its not like wow this is a surprise and a plot twist, more of something that i just wanna write for the sake of writing it. i hope that makes sense? i dont exactly know where im going with this. i just mean that im basically going to analyse karkat a tiny bit so idk how to otherwise explain it but you’ll get where im going with this as i type more lmao. 

anyways, so karkat literally said “pretend i dont think highly of my friend’s talents” as if he’s visibly trying to force himself from all emotions and bash on those who do (reference: “stop being sensitive, its repugnant” or whatever tf he said while TA replied with “hypocrite”) i take that as a key word. so honestly, while that was the smallest thing ive gotten from this session, its the thing im most curious about actually and i actually havent mentioned lol. because what ive learned in psych, which this is just common knowledge but i did an assignment on it so like?? could be useful?? is that people who hold off their emotions tend to hold off others as well, so there is no chance of mirroring each other. in other words, if someone is happy and starts to laugh and goof around with another, the emotions will mirror that other person subconsciously. like an addictive laugh. theres also another way to show mirroring, which is to mimic another person's actions, allowing another to establish a sense of empathy and thus begin to understand another person's emotions. in this case, im using TA and karkat as example. people who suppress emotions tend to see emotions as a bad sign and if somebody else portrayed any sign of it as well, they’ll basically say “gross what are you doing” because theyre so used to concealing it away, that they dont want others to think theyre into the whole mushy shit. so they pretend to hate it, pretend to not even be slightly affected by general sensitivity..

which basically means karkat is a softie, and even if he’s a prick right now, meeee thinks john, from earlier convos, is growing on him because john himself knows how emotions work and while i dont think troll culture does know much about it, considering the BLOOD AND CARNAGE thing, he is in fact growing and even if thats obvious, and you all know it, i am new to homestuck and am trying to see that for myself. its noticeable to some degree. he may always still be a jerk, but i am waiting to see how he slowly starts to accept things around him and to finally show what hes hiding inside. even if its just going up by a few percentages, i see its there and im hoping VERY HOPING he has the biggest character growth!

in other words, why else do i think this?? well nobody who watches romcoms can be that fucking aggressive. you need some sap in you to like it.

on that note, ill probably analyze alternia’s system and rules in another post later throughout these next few sessions because i feel it needs to be talked about and the way everything just.. is so different and doesnt seem right, you know?

thats it for now goodnight

[mousehole5000]

tgcf lb the third chapter 14 - 21

okay hit me with the lore

Xie Lian hadn’t spoken his next words before the teenager said, “He dug it out himself.” Startled, Xie Lian asked, “Why?” The teen replied, “He went mad.” -digging out your own eye okay worm

If there were demons in this world who would scam or entice the hearts of people, then there would also be humans who would fool demons. There would exist much ongoing exploitation and betrayal. He said, “If it was handed over in infatuation, yet only results in broken bones and scattered ashes, it would indeed render one’s heart to feel aggrieved.” okay also kind of dope i love it when humans and demons get some back and forth. also this feels like it could be foreshadowing

awwww xie lian giving away his only steamed bun what a sweetheart

everyone keeps telling me this book is also a tragedy but now im just laughing at the visual of headless ghosts carrying their heads around and bickering

chronic bad luck and chronic good luck meet... what will happen to our heroes...

Xie Lian raised his head, softly saying, “You are tenacious, extremely dedicated, and despite many bitter encounters with frustrations and dashed hopes, you’ve stayed true to your heart. More often than not, your misfortunes will turn into blessings, calamity to prosperity. You will continue to have good fortune, my friend, your future is radiant and will blossom spectacularly.” All the things he said were made up on the spot, so they were complete nonsense. - fhklasjksldfdfh i know this is a ploy but still this was funny. also why didnt xie lian try to pick up palm reading from another source when he fell? are they just not as good? is he pretentious like that? either way i hope we find out more about what he got up to during those 800 years

Xie Lian felt rather skeptical on how he only ate half a bun for the duration of the entire day. If young people took advantage on their good health like this, sooner or later they would surely end up passed out on the streets. - xie lian is directly calling me out for my quarantine eating habits im sorry king ill do better

Previously, it had always been Xie Lian telling other people ‘it’s alright, it’s okay’. Today was the first time he heard those words spoken back to him, leaving him with an indescribable feeling. - awww okay this got me

oh my god there was only one bed

again comedy of the year. “oh you’re putting up a curtain that repels evil thats so interesting. on an entirely unrelated note im going to make you a door”

Brushing past him, San Lang pulled out the bamboo chopstick. He swayed it twice in front of him before saying, “It got dirty. I’ll throw it out later.” - edgy bastard moments begin

Xie Lian could hear the deliberation win Ling Wen’s tone. One thing he could be sure of was that she must be in a difficult situation. He said, “Okay, I understand. Since this is inconvenient for you, then there’s no need for you to say more. In addition, the two of us never had this conversation in private.” - awwwww considerate crown prince xie lian

“What, do you guys know him?” Xie Lian said. “……” Fu Yao coldly replied, “No we don’t.” - all men do is lie. also love the petty little broom dispute. i know its actually quite intentional and that only makes it funnier. also guys stop wrecking xie lian’s home he just got it fixed up!! if anyone breaks the new door ill be highly disappointed in them

Xie Lian nodded his head. “That’s right. I wrote it. If you guys continued fighting in there, I would be pleading for reconstruction instead of renovation. Then, I would really have no dignity left.” - see xie lian said if youre not going to contribute to it then please dont fight in my monastery its been through enough

Earlier, when Fu Yao had entered, he hadn’t gotten to examine the interior furnishings. Now, after standing in this crooked, shabby house for quite a while, he was able to see it all. As if his entire body, from head to toe, was uncomfortable, he asked, “You live in a place like this?” Xie Lian handed him a chair and said, “I’ve always lived in these kinds of places.” - ive seen this quote before and it really is just that “damn bitch you live this like?” meme. amazing

Fu Yao did not sit, his expression also turning rigid for a second. It was hard to tell what the look on his face was. It seemed nine parts blank shock and one part schadenfreude. - THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE EXPRESSION I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT

In the desert, the difference in temperature between night and day was drastic. During the night, the freezing temperature was cold enough to seep into one’s bones, yet it was still tolerable. But come daytime, it was a whole other experience. The sky here was incredibly clear and expansive with dashes of white clouds, but likewise, the blazing sun was just as fierce. The group continued to walk, but the more they walked, the more it felt as though they were going into an enormous steamer basket. The hot air emitted from deep within the earth felt as though a day’s worth of walking could steam a person alive. - YES DESERTS YES

okay xie lian is so kind and so generous? he keeps giving stuff away when he has almost nothing and making sure that others are taken care of first..... love him

Xie Lian watched them put on airs. But when such airs were discarded, they finally got physical. Separated by the space of the table, the three of them fought with the poor water bottle, pushing it back and forth. - if these three really are who i think they are this is even funnier. the very clear toying thats going on is truly delightful

Even before, Xie Lian had always thought that although this teenager was always smiling, his smile often made it hard for people to distinguish whether it was actually genuine, or whether it was mockery in the guise of compliments. However, this time, anyone would be able to tell that there wasn’t even half an ounce of goodwill in his smile. - yeah that about sums it up. not even half an ounce of goodwill damn that sure the hell is not a lot of goodwill

He had Ruoye go grab onto something sturdy and stable, but Ruoye ended up grabbing onto San Lang! - awwww thats kind of cute. also the mental image... im going to make this its own post too but

im waiting for xie lian to cough up all that sand hes eating and say something funny when we’re back on the ground. i hope we get more very literal decisions from ruoye

It should be noted that there was a common saying within the mortal realm—a powerful dragon cannot crush a snake in its old haunts. - oh i like this and the translators note This is an old Chinese adage that basically means, ‘even a powerful man cannot crush a local bully.’

“General.” Nan Feng and Fu Yao both spoke at the same time, “What?” - CONFIRMED I CALLED IT tbh it was kind of obvious now ig now im just waiting. also again hysterical. if youre gonna hide your identities boys fucking lkafjfjlkdaf; try harder to remember that youre hiding

To be demoted again and again, to the point one couldn’t be demoted any further…… this kind of experience honestly felt too familiar. Xie Lian felt two gazes collectively fall on his body, but he pretended not to notice and continued reading the text on the stone slate. - this is a funny little set up for what seems to be a parallel between xie lian and this central plains general. he tripped on his own bootlace??? this HAS to be xie lian parallel what does it mean. oooh the common people on both sides of the conflict were the ones who commemorated him? interesting..

San Lang faintly smiled before he whispered, “No, I made that up. Since they had laughed at him before, making them kowtow to him now wouldn’t be asking too much, right?” Xie Lian looked and saw that it was really true. There was already no more text left to translate on the stone slate. He had originally wanted to sigh, but now he just found it funny. Thus, he also whispered, “Why are you so cheeky?” San Lang stuck out his tongue. The two of them were laughing when suddenly, someone screamed, “What is this!!!???” - okay they are funny and i respect the deception. also oooh scorpion tailed snake. oooh a horde of them. a classic cave blunder

“Yeah! The results are relatively the same as worshipping that rubbish immortal! The more you worship, the unluckier you become! “ “……” For an arrow to hit the bullseye despite being in a place so distant and unrelated, Xie Lian was left with no words. - oh my god xie lian are you wearing a spiritual “kick me” sign because it really feels like you are

HE GOT STUNG XIE LIAN NO

[bigskydreaming]

I hope you dont take this the wrong way cuz I dont mean to dispute the tags you made on that donation post since Ive never been in that situation but Im just honestly curious, what about shelters? Are they not an option? I guess I just never thought about that much Im ashamed to admit.

Hoo boy. I really, truly CAN NOT express strongly enough how very much NOT an option homeless or abuse shelters can be for a lot of people.

For one, how helpful or useful they are depends ENTIRELY on the people staffing the shelter in the first place. And unfortunately, a TON of people who work at shelters have various white knight or savior complexes and a bit of an ego about it, and I just mean....they bring their own biases to the job while being convinced they HAVE no biases.

So if for whatever reason you fall outside of the group whomever’s staffing the shelter you try to go to has decided they’re ‘okay’ with helping, like if you’re trans or black or openly gay and the snob in charge of literally gatekeeping the entrance to that shelter is transphobic or antiblack or homophobic, or if you’re visibly an addict and they don’t think you deserve their help because of that or that they’d rather save a bed for the next hypothetical non-addict homeless person who might still come along later, or even if just they look at you and decide YOU’RE potentially going to make the shelter an unsafe environment for someone else already there.....you’re shit out of luck right there.

Then there’s the fact that shelters aren’t as numerous as a lot of people assume, and depend entirely on what city they’re in for how plentiful or even ACCESSIBLE they are, period.

Then the fact that homeless people first have to be able to even GET to a shelter - again, with no guarantee that shelter will even let them in the door - and there’s the fact that a LOT of shelters are in parts of cities that have especially high crime rates and are quite frankly DANGEROUS to be trying to make your way towards, especially if you’re obviously exhausted or lacking in some kind of means of protecting yourself....with this ranging from the danger being from other people who victimize others out of their own desperation for food or money, to the danger being from like, violent white supremacists or neo-nazis or gay-bashers who sometimes even stalk the areas around shelters just for the OPPORTUNITY to prey on the disadvantaged people trying to make their way to one’s relative safety. A shelter’s very existence unfortunately is not just a beacon advertising a safe haven to disadvantaged people in need of one....its also simultaneously a beacon declaring a potential pool of disadvantaged people to prey upon.

Then there’s the hell of even trying to make it to a shelter - again with no guarantee you’ll get to STAY at that shelter - if, like a lot of homeless people or abuse victims and runaways - you’re disabled and the ACCESSIBILITY of shelters alone is a key part of the nightmare. Its hard as FUCK to get around a lot of cities when you’re physically disabled, and especially in the midst of a pandemic, most cities’ public transportation is not remotely reliable (also with the added caveat that like, if you’re visibly homeless you have to contend with the question of whether or not even the BUS DRIVER will let you onto their bus). So sometimes even just to GET to a shelter when the nearest one is literally twenty miles away and at least there’s a shitty roach motel down the street from where you are now....you have to weigh the pros and cons of risking wasting however much money it takes to like, Uber to a shelter that may or may not take you in, versus just saving that money to put it towards a motel for the night that you can barely afford but at least can GUARANTEE will see you safely housed for the night as long as you can scrape just enough money together to get in the door.

Then there’s the fact that in a lot of shelters, even the best of them, the safest of them, the ones staffed by genuinely kind and caring people who don’t discriminate against anyone who comes to their doors.....simply DONT HAVE THE ROOM to take you in by the time you even get to one for the night. And in fact, the MORE a shelter is genuinely safe and clean and staffed by people who won’t spit on you for asking if they have a spare bed, the MORE likely it is that its full up and with no room to spare, because homeless people talk to each other, and spread the word about what shelters are safe to go to, etc.

Because then there’s the fact that forget the ones that are staffed by people with white knight complexes and egos about it, there’s also the ones that are staffed by ACTIVELY PREDATORY people. Who are drawn to the positions by their awareness of just HOW vulnerable and desperate everyone who so much as walks in those doors is, and thus can be extorted or shaken down for a bribe to even let them in for the night, or even worse, can be blackmailed or extorted into providing ‘favors’ to the staff in exchange for a bed.

And then there’s the fact that even if you DO luck out and find a genuinely safe shelter with an available bed for the night, you still have the same problem the next day and the same issues with funds, mobility, and like, a need to find some way to bring in more money so you dont have to keep staying at the shelter indefinitely, because even the most kind-hearted staffers will eventually start to hint around that you’ve ‘benefited’ from a month or two there already and the needs of a city full of homeless people aren’t abating and there’s tons of other people who need that bed just as much and haven’t even gotten in for a DAY yet, let alone the month or so you’ve ‘enjoyed’....which means every day you still have to venture forth from the shelter in search of money, but the fact that you DID find a shelter that was safe, clean and comfortable for a night means you now have to weigh the pros and cons of do you dare risk traveling far enough away from the shelter you can’t guarantee you’ll be able to make it back to it later that day/night, or in time to still find an available bed, or do you stick with staying close by while looking for work or begging for money, even if the location you and that particular shelter are in vastly limit your options in finding work or people with money to spare and a willingness to spare it on a homeless person on the corner.

Its....a lot.

And its the exact same issues to consider all over again at the start of each new day, because none of those things are ever NOT an issue you have to carefully weigh and consider.

So unfortunately, for all those reasons and a lot more I’m not even thinking of at the moment....for a lot of people, in a lot of cities, shelters aren’t even a REALISTIC option at all, let alone for any kind of extended period of time.

[leviathiane]

SHOW US YOUR WROR RAW UNPROCESSED WHOLE GRAIN ORGANIC NOTES

this is going to be a long-ass post i am so sorry to Everyone! i take a lot of notes.

So, as You specifically know (as well as all of my lovely Soggers) I take a LOT of notes. Obsessively. I write fucking everything bc i have very little memory and very much paranoia. This results in literal Piles of notes. Raw planning, on paper, on my phone– doodles of scenes im brainstorming, bulletpoints, entire SCRIPTS– it’s all there but scattered (I’ve got scenes planned in the margins of my goddamn anthropology notes and deciphering it was a NIGHTMARE) 

I won’t even upload all the photos of my writing notebook, because itd be like 50 pages of illegible nonesense. but heres a couple of planning phase pages. (may be hard to read, I dropped this notebook both into some tidepools, into a creek on campus, and accidentally leaked my waterbottle onto it in my backpack :/) 

if you can’t tell already, yes they all look exactly like this. Some are even more illegible, because I wrote them with the notebook half under my actual class notes. Because i wrote most of them in class. During lectures. And pretending very badly that i was not doing exactly that. (pay attention in class please i got away with this bc i was filling up elective units) 

I’m also flat out MISSING a large portion of my notes bc some of it? isnt even in the damn notebook. its on a sheet of binder paper, or on the empty back of an assignment. I’ve now lost most of those notes, but the ones i do still have are just as (even more, actually) indecipherable chicken scratch: 

Wow, how clean and tidy and easy to follow! i am in hell. 

and this doesnt mention the PAGES and PAGES of outlines that are on my laptop, and the pages of outlined scenes that are on the notes app of my phone. if i put them all, you would have entire chapter spoilers up to the very end of the story so i cant post a lot of them– and also theres just a goddamn lot of them. currently i have 16 pages of outlining. There are no spacing breaks. It is a solid 16 page block of text. Looking at it gives me a migraine. 

some assorted notes which i have dredged up from the deleted parts of the main draft google doc go all the way back to when i started Wror in June and they are Barely more readable than my handwriting on sheer account of: articulation is not my strength. These include: 

“Ch 8 plan: sabo gets trained specially, awakens his armament haki, beats ace in a bunch of spars and proves himself to be anything but vulnerable. The boys are like “we fucking recognize that technique ryu taught you before us!!” and goad ryu into finally starting them both on basic haki training, just to awaken it, since sabo already has. Also this is the chapter that ace finally confronts ryu for his devil fruit after ryu confirms that some devil fruit users can’t be hurt without haki and ace immediately catches onto that and tries to slam his pipe through ryus head. It doesn’t work, ryu catches the weapon with a haki covered hand, to avoid turning to flame with hit and ace just gets frustrated and accuses ryu of hiding his devil fruit, because he remembers what he saw in grey terminal and that now that he has seen haki he can distinguish it from what he saw and he’s sure no one could do what ryu did. He calls ryu a hypocrite for coddling them even after telling them to stop coddling sabo and ryu has to sit them down and explain that yes he does have powers and he has been hdiing it and explains his reasoning. However instead of understanding th eboys just get fired up and say they don’t wnt to be scared of fire, especially not when it means ryu isn’t taking them seriously in a spar. Ryu finally agrees to start them on desensitization training for fire trauma. Fire desensitization training happens on the beach, so that they have water nearby in case things get out of hand. At some point ace gives ryu a considering look and is just like “if you have a devil fruit that means you can’t swim either right?” and ryu is basically just like “lmao yeah” and then ace immediately attempts to drown him. Lots of murder attempts in ace’s department toget his older brother to be less of an idiot with little success lol(extra: ace tried to attack ryu earlier both to confirm that ryu has a devil fruit that would force him to use haki to hide it, and because he now knows that he CAN’T hurt ryu without haki and as thus can’t beat him and make him admit he’s awake without being good at haki.)” [chapter 8] 

“Small sabo lost his hat and goggles in the incident and while he doesn’t remember having them future sabo notices he looks uncomfortable and keeps touching his hair and head. Ace yells at him for it thinking he bandaging are bothering him and that he can’t touch them but little sabo just comments that something about it feels wrong. Luffy blurts our that he had a hat, like luffy does, But he doesn’t now ace begrudgingly mentions that they can’t get a new one in town. Future sabo doesn’t even hesitate and just plops his own hat onto his younger selves head. It clearly too big for him, and almost falls over his eyes but he grins up at future sabo and is like “wow!! Thank you! I’ll take care of it till I have one of my own” and creates a paradox like Luffys own hat. The footsteps younger sabo has yet to fill. This HAS to happen AFTER the talk where they explain that future and past sabo are both the same person, to give little sabo that pressure.” [chapter 9]

“(Right after this older sabo takes them down to the ocean so that they can play a little and desensitize themselves and immediately fucks himself over when he goes weak in the water bc he somehow fucking forgot his own devil fruit again and now even younger sabo is on his case about not letting him near the fucking ocean that little goddamn HYPOCRITE—) )” [for chapter 9]

“Ch 9 plan: they finally leave dawn island. Starts with the boys getting a haircut after training and luffy mentions how long it’s been since they’ve last needed a haircut, giving sabo and ace time to point out that it’s been 2 months now since ryu joined them, and that sabo was completely healed by now. The boys are now aware of the basics of haki, and while luffy hasnt awakened either yet ace and sabo both have a little bit of weak armament haki. (sabo won’t awaken observational haki until he gets his memories back) ryu tries to sneak off into the city to steal a boat but his brothers refuse to leave him behind and keep sneaking out after him, not wanting him to go alone and saying that since he’s been training them they’re clearly stronger and he needs to let them do this. Ryu eventually just lets it go because why the fuck not it’s a dream and they make him feel better. They get the boat out on open ocean and finally fucking sail out, cheering loudly, ryu struggling to make them all calm down but also not really trying. He’s happy as shit, and they’re all so excited and happy and sabo dips a hand into the waves and then smiles so fucking wide and tackles ryu so violently they both nearly tip into the water and it’s just very very good. “ [also for ch 9] 

** I flat out dont Have any outlining from before chapter 6, because i only started actually outling chapters after that. i tend to just sit down and Write up until i hit a plot point or writers block and then am forced to actually think it through and plan rather than letting it come naturally. thats also why the quality and editing is better in later chapters despite everything being written within the same time frame. 

besides entire chapter outlines, there are the scene specific phone notes like:

“(ADDED) Right after they leave dawn, when sabo is sure they’ve gotten enough of a head start, he calls Garp. He doesn’t say who he is, but that all of the boys are safe and happy with him and has them all talk into the phone to assure him that they’re fine. Garp is honestly just pissed off he doesn’t know who’s calling and when he asks sabo just laughs and says a disobedient brat before hanging up. “

“(ADDED) TO EXPAND ON CH 3: sabo gets offered the chance to go with dragon, and he hesitates on the offer to go through with his previous life with the family he’s made in the revolutionary again. He almost agrees, because the bought of losing them in this lifetime is near excruciating but reminds himself swiftly that it’s no place for his brothers and not what they’d really want, and he wants selfishly to be with them as long as he Can until he “inevitably” wakes up. The boys are visibly relieved by this, especially ace. (Sabo gets asked who he is by dragon, who wants to know more about the stranger with his son, but dragon has always been quicker to make connections no one guessed and he just smiled knowingly at sabo and tells him he’s sure the other will have no trouble finding them if he’s in need. Sabo in turn warns him to keep Kuma close, and to look for a slave girl named koala.)”

I have…. many of these. I have Many of Everything. 

finally, i have scene doodles. if i hit a bad writers block it usually helps me to sketch scenes or the character designs to regain my grip on what the hell is happening in the plot– Breach of Intention has character design sketches, pakcbond has MANY scene sketches, even some of my nsfw has some sketches. my wror skecthes arent Good of course, I am an art teacher for children and that means i am more often explaining the color wheel and brush techniques over drawing perfect human replicas– and i just dont really make a lot of fanart? ive never drawn sabo before but i sure have a bunch now. i wont include close ups because they genuinely suck but heres an example pic 

So… yeah thats about everything. this is a VERY long post and yet i only included like maybe ¼ or 1/5 of all the notes i have dbskhjgfkjadns lmk if anyone wants more (or notes for my Other stories, which contain NO WHERE the same absurd amount of shit that wror does.)

[mieczyhale]

aright

so

i've always tried to avoid anti nonsense and general fandom negativity, no matter what fandom it is, it makes things less stressful and more fun. but when i’m sitting in my dumpster and happen upon some bullshit its uhh difficult for me to not say something

so lemme fuckin tell y'all

i am not here for any anti-dave / anti-klave commentary ever. i dont want to see even a hint of it and so running into it, while reading the comments on a klave post bc i like to read other peoples love for their love, is so fucking annoying. now i guess it was partially my bad for reading comments in the first place BUT given my tua fandom experiences thus far i had no reason to expect such bullshit. so.. i was reading a short post about them staying together and then there were shitty replies and reblogs and a fight and im just like ????? with plenty of instant irritation. 

nobody - NOBODY - cares that you think klaus continuing his relationship with ghost!dave would be "unhealthy" (which.. no*) or that you want klaus to get closure and move on OR that fuck dave klaus should just get a new boyfriend. if that's how you feel make your own post, keep it in your own negative space, i dont wanna fucking see it. nor do i wanna have any interaction with you AT ALL if im being honest

*y'all really be overusing words AND y'all be doing so wildly and incorrectly. no i will not expand on that, i will not explain to you why it's wrong (at least not right now because lord knows i'll probably get drunk later and decide to word vomit my feelings about klave again)

like... okay. listen. there's enough negativity around here and enough stories where happiness doesnt last - especially for gay characters - and i just want them to be allowed to have that happiness no matter how unique or improbable the situation. if heteros can get shit like that then why cant we?? the love at first sight and soulmates and 'you're the only one for me' and the happy ending. beating all the odds to be together! if anyone deserves it it's klaus - all on his own, he's suffered enough thanks - but also with dave - he's the love of klaus's life, who treated him with all the love and kindness and respect he hadn't experienced before, who made klaus genuinely happy and who made him want to be better - not by forcing him or guilting him but by loving him like.. fuck off if you dont think that's the best otp shit

for those whose issue is the lack of dave in s1:: yeah the show may not have given us a lot of info on dave, which sucks, but cody ray thompson provided AND ALSO there's all of the fic writers in this fandom who write klave - who have fleshed dave out to be a real and deep character (god bless each and every one of you. you're doing the lord's work) enough so that there are a lot of consistencies across the board, things that stay the same from writer to writer. he's a whole real character! the shows lack of a backstory for him doesnt make dave unimportant or disposable or less valid as a love interest. especially not when the fandom got hold of him

*insert that meme 'i took the liberty of sprucing up your boy' here*

anyway.. thats kind of an off place to stop ranting but ive already wasted too much time on this, trying to get out my thoughts at all let alone in a way that sort of made sense, and now im a lil stressed and a lil sleepy lmao 

so!! my ask & messages are open to anyone who wants to come say words about anything, it doesnt have to be tua but that is a quality topic. i might defend klaus and dave like an absolute banana but i swear i dont bite