#ive been trying to get some story inspiration for so long now and im really exited to maybe have something fun to create

[pseudonemisis]

I finally have a full story idea! It's not fully formed yet but I have a pretty good skeleton. Hopefully I actually get around to writing it but for now I think I'll try to plot out some stuff (chapters orders and stuff)

[cupcakeslushie]

Okay. I've been tip-toeing around this AU for a while now, but I just got caught up, and now I think I have a (decent) grasp on what's going on. So I wanna go over everything I know so far to see if I'm right or wrong on anything. Don't know if you'd be willing to correct me or not. Either way, I hope my mistakes can help you understand what to clarify to other fans like me. But, I also have some questions. You probably won't be able to answer most of them, but it's at least worth a shot.

First, where's Venus? Like, why is she not in your comics that are (sort of) separate frome the canon now story. The ones that skip to the future way after all the turtles reunite. Did she die? Did she escape? Is it because she wasn't introduced yet when you made those comics?

Two, why do you keep on making references to the future timeline? I know you're planning on possibly making your own stuff leading up to the events of the movie. It just gives me a jumpscare when I see certain...imagery in those comics. I guess you're hinting at what your version of the future apocalypse would look like, but it just hurts to see. Specifically in the comic explaining both the events and aftermath of the movie and the bad future timeline. It's starting to really confuse my brain as to where this story is headed. What's meant to be the main focus? The Hamto's reuniting? The aftermath? Or the future?

Third, did you make all those min-comics before you started the actual AU? Or did you do them during?

Fourth, are any of those mini-comics relevant to the actual story now? Or have you changed your mind on a few things? It's just that everything is so all over the place, I don't really know whether to trust if they're accurate. I know most of them are just there for funzies, but the longer ones concern me. I guess I'm just not used to the storyteller doing sequel, start, prequel, start, sequel, prequel, prequel, sequel, and then end. Or maybe it's just me, and I'm sleep deprived.

My little observation speech is gonna take a while for me to get out in your asks because when I get theoretical, my speech gets long, and my proper English goes down the drain. So I'll be back. I appreciate your work very much. Despite the pain it causes me, it's still amazing.

I’ll try my best to clear up what confusion I can!

1. As far as Venus. The answer is kind of a mix of, I was still figuring out her design and backstory while coming out with some of those early comics, and then, once I had that down, I wanted the boys to grow strong bonds as a main cast. That’s why a lot of the side characters are only making small appearances in the Sep!AU Life stories, as those are mainly for the boys reconnecting. (Usagi shows up the most because I love him and am totally biased towards him).

This maybe hasn’t been stated outright, but I wasn’t really expecting so many ppl to like Vee as much as they do, and now im trying not to spoil too much of her story. It’ll unfortunately just take us a while to get to the meat of it. Since the boys reconnecting takes up a lot of the early s1s2 story, Im trying to follow the familiar Rise blueprint of Draxum, Shredder, Krang, and then in s3 we’ll have crazy fun new stories with the extra characters.

Ive also decided to take this little nugget from one of the Q&As, and use it for Venus instead of Jennika. It was a much needed bit of inspiration to explain why Venus sorta disappears for a while and will go through some major physical changes (not yet revealed) before the family can figure out a way to reach her.

2. I’m not sure if you mean jump scared in a bad/triggering or neutral way, but if you need me to tag anything on those posts please let me know!

The glimpses of the future timeline, are being scattered throughout wherever they parallel the present story in little ways, but that’s only for now. As we get closer to the movie plot, bigger chunks of the future will be revealed, because the future versions of the boys will have a larger role to play in the present timeline. So we will need more backstory than what the canon got. And also I just enjoy drawing my future versions so sometimes I don’t think too hard on a reason. I just like throwing them at ppl with no warning or reason.

When s2 ends, I plan on collecting all the future related stuff that’s been released, and recapping it for easier reading. Right now, it’s just little sprinkles of foreshadowing to give ppl an idea that, ‘oh crap. The doomed timeline is a bummer’. In my mind, I guess i thought it’d be kinda like a fun scavenger hunt for clues, but maybe ppl don’t like that 😅

3. All of the side-stories were written as the main comic was/is being released. A lot of them resulted from asks that just spawned the need to expand on certain ideas, or a desire to give all the turtles their time to shine.

For instance, when I was doing Donnie’s section of the main comic, it was a good few months where we hardly saw anyone but him and Venus. I wanted to just mix it up, and give Raph some love with his ‘Raph Time’ short. When Leo was front and center in the main, we hardly saw the others, so Mikey and Donnie got their little ‘Secrets’ short (and it was also I fun thank you for EW making it so far in the tmnt sep competition).

4. Anything that has been reworked/revised or just plain dropped should have an ‘Edit’ note because yes—I have gone back and changed some things, but more so from the asks i got in the early days, and some movie idea drafts.

All the short comics done in the last year, especially the ones that are listed in my pinned post, are canon and fall somewhere in the timeline. They’re like supplemental reading though—extra meat to give the world and the characters more personality. They do have particular backstory plot and important info in them, but nothing that shouldn’t eventually be re-visited/repeated in the main story.

um I hope that cleared up some things! I know it’s kind of a crazy amount of lore. I’ve tried my best to organize it in the pinned post, huge timeline, and search bar tags, but I know it’s getting harder and harder for newer ppl to jump in as it just get bigger. Thanks for reading regardless!

[thrasheraxe]

Ahhh, what a thrill!! 🙈✨

I wanna request a James/Reader story. The reader is biologically female, but is gender fluid but usually likes to be treated like a boy.

The story would be about his first time. It would start out soft and end up rough.

---

Thanks and sorry for my English. 🤧

hetfield x gender fluid reader

weee woo!! thank you for this one!! im not gender fluid myself but ill give it my best go!!🫶

thinking current james and these images because DUHHH

cw: smut, talk of gender identity, virginity, age difference

prompt: genderfluid reader who is an illustrator working at the park one day, when they come across garage owning James, unbeknownst to the reader he was also in a local band

sitting on a park bench watching the world go by and drawing the scenery around you was one of your favourite ways to relax. there was no judgement there, dressed in a baggy hoodie and jeans you had no fear. even if you were masc presenting today its not like strangers would notice or even care, they just thought of you as some guy on the park bench and that made you happy.

coming out as genderfluid had been hard on you, it wasn't easy to find anyone so accepting or even just understanding, so you'd take your comfort elsewhere. it was no small feat and it was even harder to find like minded individuals, you often thought of others like you and wished to make them not feel as alone as you did.

you almost didn't notice the larger man approaching you, headphones in and staring intently at the forest line trying to capture every detail. he pats you on the shoulder lightly, an older gentleman something you weren't expecting. most of the interaction you'd had at this place was from sweet old ladies who would ask for the time.

cigar in hand and a cowboy hat on his head (which was out of place for the city but it worked for him), he stared down at you with his piercing blue eyes and a bright smile while you took out your earphones. a slight confused expression as you spoke softly.

"uhm..hello?"

"oh sorry darl, didn't mean to spook you, i was just strolling past and noticed your drawings, they are very impressive, can i take a look?" his voice was soft and calming. hesitantly you passed him the sketchpad sheets you were working on.

“wow…i mean wow..” he strokes his finger over the linework lightly, just adoring it. his smile is still bright and as you look at him, you realise this man is stunningly beautiful. even this is enough to make you blush.

“this is fantastic, you work as an illustrator?”

“n-no, it’s mainly something i keep to myself, i uh, work in retail.” you cringe at your own words sounding meek and uninteresting.

“well…can you draw anything or are you just into nature?” his tone kind as he looked directly at you. he had no judgement at all.

“uh yeah i mean i can always try can’t i?”

“well, i actually run an autoshop, and ive been looking for something to spruce up the walls a bit, you think you’d be able to design something for me? not for free of course”

you grin at his suggestion, the mere thought alone of someone enjoying your work was insane but now wanting to pay for it? it was some sort of blasphemy in your eyes.

“of course! i could do that. could probably get it done in a few hours”

“amazing, thank you sweetheart, james by the way. if you think you could get something done that quick, why don’t you come by the Luxe downton? my band is actually playing there.”

He had a huge grin on his face and he was clearly proud of himself for that subtle mention. his gaze not leaving your eyes.

“yeah that’d be really fun.” you smile sheepishly and nod. you also pause and tell him your name with a laugh, realising you’d neglected to mention it.

“great see you at eight” still with that grin on his face, he winks and walks off leaving you in awe of this mysterious and handsome individual.

it didn’t take you long to get home and in the fully lit presence of your desk, bubbling with inspiration you sketch up something. it was nice, in a weird way he’d inspired you with his compliment but you kept it simple. this was for a stranger after all, a simple sketch of an old ‘67 chevy impala, carefully shaded in and small subtle details. you sign your name and get ready for the night, time escaping you faster than you’d thought.

as you arrived, hair done and settling with a slightly nicer combination of jeans and a button up, you plop yourself down at the bar looking out for james. it wasn’t until the first notes of an unfamiliar song that you see him on the stage, he gives you a subtle smile and a nod.

you sat there taking in the environment and enjoying the set they played, bopping your head along and nursing a drink. his voice was actually quite spectacular which added to your already slight attraction to this man.

after he had finished, he made his way over to you, beer in hand with a grin.

“hey there sweetheart.”

“hi” you answer nervously, quick to reach for your bag and grab the drawing out of it, meticulously glued to a piece of card and protected by a sleeve as not to damage it. he takes it out of your hand and with one look his eyes widened.

“wow! this is…amazing…thank you so much, darlin’, let me know how I can repay you?”

you smile brightly and shake your head, a slight blush creeping onto your cheeks

“no, no. that’s okay! i actually had a lot of fun, it was nice to work on something different for a change.”

“least let me buy you a drink, sweetheart?”

“that’d be really nice, thank you”

for the next few hours you’d spent time drinking together, you both talked about his band, your ambitions, your identity since he was very curious. he asked a lot of questions, respectfully of course and you answered them with grace. his willingness to learn made you feel a bit fuzzy inside as no one had ever treated you that way.

you find yourself getting over your aversion to eye contact, willingly staring into his eyes as he spoke about his hobbies and his musical influences. he notices your stare and grins to himself. taking a mental note, he changes the subject to loved ones and is surprised to hear you’ve never dated anyone. you were young sure, but he didn’t expect you to have no experience atall.

“really? thats…interesting.”

“are you making fun of me?” you say raising your eyebrow and glaring playfully. feeling the buzz from the last few drinks.

“no…no. just something crossed my mind is all. shouldn’t’ve but it did” he says softly, his body language a bit more serious and he looked slightly embarrassed.

you look at the time on your phone, 1 am. you’re feeling buzzed and james is looking very fine, screw it. you move closer and sit next to him, thighs pressed to one another and your face flushed. so what if it was your first time? this man was too beautiful to pass on.

“jealous are we james?”

your sudden confidence and proximity threw him for a loop, his eyes flitting between yours and your lips. “pardon?”

“you heard me. jealous? wishing it was your cock buried deep inside me? giving me that wonderful feeling for the first time?”

“fuuck…you don’t waste any time do you?”

“guess i’m just feeling a bit out there and lucky tonight, james.”

the way you kept saying his name made him squirm in his seat, the thought of you sat on his lap, fucking like rabbits and him giving you your first time was overwhelming. when suddenly he stood, held out his hand and not saying anything.

you take it gracefully, grinning to yourself. the reality of the situation not quite kicking in yet as the alcohol made you feel fuzzy. he pulls you to his side, snaking an arm around your waist, chucking some money on the table and walking like a man on a mission.

15 minutes later and a tense taxi drive, where he’d been struggling not to take you right there or even just touch you a little bit, you arrive at a hotel. he rushes you in, holding onto you as if you’d run off if he let go. the silence was deafening.

in the elevator, he just looked down at you with a grin, a gentle hand coming up to lift your chin, his eyes piercing into you once again as he finally spoke.

“you really wanna go through with this?”

“more than anything.”

a moment later his lips were pressed against yours, kissing you deeply, hands nestled at the small of your back. you kiss him back with a little more force, the heat in the room rising. he begins to trail soft kisses down your neck before biting ever so slightly at the crook.

“oh fuck..”

he laughs heartily hearing you curse under your breath and brings a hand to your chin again, rubbing his thumb along your bottom lip and tapping at as if he was mimicking something in his own mind.

“you’ve got such pretty lips, know that?”

too distracted by his gaze at your lips, you fail to answer as you bring tour own hands up his sides slipping under his shirt and scratching at his back in need, producing a breathy groan from his own lips. his head tilting back slightly as he felt your nails dig into his flesh.

you take this moment to start kissing his neck, your own body trembling at this point as you’d never really gotten past a small kiss with anyone before. he could definitely tell, by the way your lips moved hesitantly along his neck, awkwardly sucking and biting at random areas. a furious red blush on your face and your brows knotted together in concentration.

he shook his head and laughed, lifting your face away with his hand.

“let me show you sweetheart.”

his lips trailed your neck, finding that sweet spot and at first he just places sweet kisses there, slowly but surely he takes a little bit of skin in between his lips and nibbles, letting you feel each sensation. soft whimpers escaped your lips as he moved, taking this as a sign he bit harder. you let out a moan and grip his shoulders lightly.

“you like that hun? so cute” he purred in your ear. the ding of the elevator pulling you both out of this heated moment. you break apart and stare up at him, the swift transition of him grabbing you and ending up in the hotel room, clothes being tugged at during another heated makeout session makes your head spin

heart racing you look at him with doe eyes. which makes him curse under his breath and compose himself. sitting back on his knees.

“cmere pretty boy, lets take this your pace huh darl?”

you nod, that nervous feeling welling up inside, sitting up you start to unbutton his shirt, trailing your fingers down his exposed chest and placing kisses there. appreciative groans leaving his lips as he caresses your neck with his thumb. need building up inside himself now, he was struggling at how teasingly slow this was moving. if it was any other person, he would’ve just pinned them to the wall and fucked them violently chasing his own high. but even though you were pretty much a stranger to him, he didn’t want you to regret this. you were so sweet looking and nervous.

eventually after extended amounts of strained eye contact and lustful gazes you make your way to his jeans, unbuckling his belt as he stroked through your hair with his big hand. you pull the fabric down and gasp at the way his cock bounces back, hitting his stomach and throbbing, dripping with precum. he takes it his hands and strokes it a few times, thumbing over the tip, collecting the liquid.

he grins and offered his thumb to you.

“wanna taste it darl?”

“yes” you say tentatively taking it and sucking the tip. with a groan he watches you swirl your tongue around it, cursing under his breath.

“fuck can’t take it any longer, i need you baby, that okay?”

you don’t say anything, just start tugging his jeans down completely, you focus on your own and then pull him on top of you, fiercely making out with him, whimpers escaping your lips.

he sits back up and pulls your thighs apart, gently stroking through your folds, his hands glistening with your wetness.

“need it james…please”

he groans at the sounds you make and your desperate words. he doesn’t take a breath before lining up with your entrance, looking at you for approval. you nod and he leans over stroking your cheek sweetly.

“this gonna hurt a little bit okay? just relax for me, you’re doing so good already ,pretty boy.”

before you can react, he pushes just the tip in, letting you adjust as he stares down at you. you hiss in pain and grip his shoulder tightly, a yelp escaping your lips. he peppers kisses along your jaw and neck, speaking softly

“it’s okay, i know i know. breathe sweet boy, we can just stay like this a moment, yeah?”

one big hand drifts down to your clit, circling slowly and applying some pressure. your head tips back slightly letting out a strained moan.

“ready, james. just do it…please?”

barely able to control himself, he continues working with one hand, the other gripping your hip as he pushes himself to the hilt.

“fuck!” you moan loudly, with his accompanying groan, he starts to move, slowly and gently holding you. it takes you a minute to get used to the feeling but when you do, your body trembles all over, frantic moans escaping your lips. he strokes your hair and keeps kissing your neck tenderly.

“god you feel so fucking good darl, so good…”

his words send you into overdrive, feeling the need for more, you buck against him. your teeth find its way to his shoulder and you bite down, whispering pleas. his demeanour switches, seemingly not being able to control himself at feeling you clench down on him. so soft and warm, he just starts moving faster, his hips stuttering, watching your face to make sure it’s okay.

“fuck…yes…shit…james…feels so good” your words escaping as whines as you stare up at him. you could see his expression become more desperate as soft moans tumble from him. his grasp getting tighter and he grits his teeth.

“so good for me, god..shit i don’t know if i can hold back anymore. so fucking tight and wet for me, baby. drivin me insane”

you lean up and bite his earlobe before whispering “so don’t. i can handle it.”

it was like something had snapped in him, he heaves your thighs up over his waist and hastily shoving a pillow underneath you. slamming his hips into yours and grabbing your thighs tightly, hard enough to leave bruises for sure. your hands reach up and tug at his white hair, your sounds only growing louder which was like music to his ears. he was out of control, slamming back down on you and pulling out before repeating the process, like it was his own first time too.

“fuck look so good taking me , honey. you like that? getting fucked so hard by this fat old cock? hm? gushing round me baby.”

“yes yes fuck fuck…i can’t” you whine, in a stroke of adrenaline you guide his hand back to your clit, pushing yourself further on him. he gladly continues swirling, his fingers moving at the same pace as his hips. hitting you so deep you could feel it in your stomach.

“gonna cum in you, pretty boy. wanna make you remember this forever, gonna ruin you for anybody else.”

this sends you into primal need, borderline fucking yourself on him as you whimper in his ear.

“fuck yeah, fucking ruin me. fill me. need it so bad james…so fucking close.”

“god you are fucking filthy i love it” he growls, slamming harder into you, his body not being able to hold back. his thrusts become messy as you chase that high together. whispering obscenities to each other and grabbing at wherever you can reach.

the sensation comes faster than you’d ever felt before, like a rollercoaster dropping down a peak, your legs begin to shake and you scream out his name. he takes this as a challenge and moves at an impossible pace, cumming hard inside. growling in your ear and pulling at your hair lightly.

“so fucking good, darl. oh fuck I can’t get enough. no, i think i’ll be seeing more of you. mm ill teach you everything.”

[nonbinaryeggrolls]

Battle of the Larynx I

Miguel O’Hara x afab!reader

Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3, Pt. 4

Synopsis: Having Spider-Man as a boyfriend was becoming increasingly more difficult, and his reoccurring absence is tearing you apart

A/N: hi y’all! ik ive been so MIA with my stories lately. if im being honest sometimes i just don’t have ideas for new chapters or how to continue in progress stories, but hopefully i can get some more done soon! but for now enjoy this quick Miguel O’Hara story cuz i am OBSESSED with this man atm

Inspired by Battle of the Larynx by Melanie Martinez!

Warning: smut (fingering), toxic relationship, ANGST (yk i fucking live that shit), neglectful Miguel, LONG ASS CHAPTERS

MINORS DNI. AGELESS AND MINOR BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED

You knew what you were getting yourself into when he told you. You knew the nights that laid ahead for both of you filled with his crying and screaming after a failed mission led to a loss of innocent life. You knew the days would consist of hours holding your breath wondering if he was alive or not, and finally exhaling when he arrived there at your doorstep; battered and bloody but still, he was there. That was really the only promised you asked Miguel to keep— be there. You could handle him leaving randomly and not coming home until 2 in the morning, it was his obligation as a hero and that came before anything else. But he also took an obligation as your partner to be present when it mattered most, and according to him he cherished that concept with his life. So if that was the case why wasn’t he here now?

Miguel had been gone for 5 days now, longer than he’s ever been gone for. Five days of nothing, no calls, texts, emails, even an owl with a note would’ve sufficed at this point but he chose to leave you in the dark yet again. You touched up your mascara in the shiny elevator door reflection as you prepped yourself for the celebration party you and your art school classmates planned after you all landed the animation internship. What was supposed to be a chance for your friends to finally get to know Miguel was clearly turning into yet another evening third wheeling other couples. Another night of watching girls curl up with their lovers while you downed a spiked lemonade to forget about yours. This was the 26th time Miguel had abandoned an important event with no notice whatsoever (yes you’ve been keeping track). It started with simple things like picnic dates or small get togethers, then his absence gradually became more impactful. Missed family dinner’s, birthdays…anniversaries. Disappearing for days on end with no check ins, it was becoming torture. It was becoming increasingly obvious that people started to question whether or not you even had a boyfriend, and slowly you did too…

To Miggy 🧸:

please tell me you’re coming tonight, you know this means a lot to me Miguel

4:23

can you just call me and let me know youre alive at least????

4:49

i hope youre chaffing in your suit asshole

8:14

The elevator door opened letting you onto the top floor of Alchamex, it was pointless checking but you always did anyways. You crept your way into his office hoping to see his usual tired figure slumped over in his chair, ready for you to nag him like you usually do to take a break and eat something, but the only thing occupying the space was scattered papers. You looked through his window that towered over the Nueva York city streets trying desperately to hold back the tears that were fighting their way out.

“Y/N?”

Y/N: “Jess! Im- Im really sorry.” You turned your head only slightly so she couldn’t see your puffy eyes.

Jess: “Y/N, you’re part of reception you know you can get in a lot of trouble being up here without authorization.”

Y/N: “I know I know I just…I thought Miguel be here.” You mumbled between hiccups that came up from you failing to hide your sobs. Jess wasn’t stupid, it didnt take a genius to know what you were upset about, or who you were upset about, “If you um… if you see him can you just ask him to come home please.” Working through your sniffles, you wiped your face with your sleeve and made your way out of the office before she even had time to respond

Jess sighed feeling a twitch of anger brew inside her towards the young man, she scowled and muttered obscenities under her breath as she dialed Miguels number…

The next week came and you missed the party entirely, the calls from all your friends and colleagues went unanswered. Honestly, your self esteem couldn’t take another embarrassing, lonely entrance into an event that Miguel was supposed to accompany you too. Another endless night of sympathetic looks and pity hugs. 

The clock read 7:48 pm when you arrived home from work, another day of taking calls and booking meetings for a man that wasn’t even there half of the time. With a heavy sigh you set the bags of groceries you had in hand down in order to get your keys out of your back pocket. The space was dark and cold when you walked in, it had been for the last week. You stocked the fridge with your new groceries then before taking a quick shower and finishing your nightly routine. You were in the middle of applying your night cream when you heard a loud thud causing you to finally leave the bathroom. In the corner of your eye you caught a glimpse of a tall dark figure emerging from the window. You let out a shriek managing to fumble everything in hand as you scrambled to find your pepper spray.

Miguel: “Woah woah! Relax it’s just me! it’s me Y/N!” Usually you’d be used to Miguel’s late night window entrances but it had been so long since you last saw him you forgot he even did it. He turned on the living room light revealing his tired and bruised figure. He was still dressed in his spider suit, the suit you excitedly spent hours on your ipad drawing and redrawing to get the perfect design; now you hated the sight of that thing.

Y/N: “Miguel?”, seeing him gave you relief knowing it wasn’t an intruder, but the anger that’s been stirring in you for the last 2 weeks slapped you back to reality. Silence filled the space between you two, neither of you taking the initiative to speak first. It took 2 weeks for him to come back and you weren’t going to wait another second waiting for him to find the balls to say something.

Miguel: “Y/N please wait!…” he pleaded when you turned away and slammed the bedroom door behind you. You plopped down onto your mattress, you were exhausted and couldn’t stand to look at his face anymore, but you felt the empty bed space behind you dip with his weight.

Miguel: “Congratulations on your internship cariño, I knew you’d get it…” No response. “I…I got this for you. Y/N?” If you turned around you’d see the small gift wrapped box he held in his hand but you were motionless. This new silence terrified him. The possibility of you finally giving up on him made his heart sink a little

Miguel: “Y/N I’m really really sor—

Y/N: “Just shut up Miguel, shut up already…” you finally spoke through gritted teeth, “You’ve never cared about a single thing that I care about, if you did then you would’ve been there like you said you would but you weren’t! SO JUST FUCKING SHUT UP!” you sobbed and curled your legs closer to your chest

Miguel: “I know you’re angry at me… but Y/N I really am sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t call you or text you. I’m sorry it took Jess calling me to make me realize how terrible I was being. I should’ve been there to take you to your friends party, like I promised I would. I wanna be someone you can count on and trust but I’m screwing it all up.”

At this point Miguel had already stood up from the bed, you could feel the floor thump as he paced back and forth trying to find the right words to say to you. You couldn’t help but peek over at him, he looked horrible with his head in his hands and blood and dirt still caked on his suit. Regardless of how angry you felt towards Miguel you always took pity on the poor man. He loved you with everything he was and everything he wasn’t, all he wanted was to be everything you ever needed, but you were the first woman he had ever been with since Dana and Gabriella passed. You knew loving you was like learning to walk again.

You called his name in your soft voice. His head shot up, you were finally facing him with your arms open inviting him in for a hug. Miguel practically jumped from his seat and into your arms. Words couldn’t describe how good it felt to feel your touch and even though he smelled like ash and rubble you felt exactly the same, practically crying as you melted into his hold

Y/N: “I thought you were dead Miggy, you can’t keep putting me through this I can’t take it.” He settled deeper into your embrace and rested his head into the crook of your neck

Miguel: “I know, I’ll be better for you…” You felt his lips latch onto your neck and pepper you in small kisses, “I love you Y/N. I love you so much.” He groaned against you, pushing his stiffened member against your groan and pulling out a desperate moan from your lips

Y/N: “I…I love you too Miggy…fuck!” You screamed has he drove his thick fingers into your already soaking cunt. Every curl and thrust against your plush walls pushed you closer and closer to your edge.

You cried against his shoulders. There were times when the space that was wedged between you two felt infinite then dwindled every time he came back home to you.

It was euphoria, to feel him with you again.

But every high has to come down at some point.

The sound of arguing pulled you from your sleep. It was 2 in the morning when you rolled over to see a space where Miguel was originally sleeping beside you. It wasn’t unusual for Miguel to wake up in the middle of the night to work at the kitchen table or yell to Jess about some other spider variant that messed up a mission; one named Peter seemed to come up very frequently. However it seemed like this specific conversation went on for a fairly long time, you could even begin to here Miguel’s voice shake with whoever he was speaking to.

You slipped on a new t shirt from Miguel’s drawer since the clothes you previously had on had been ripped to shreds. His voice became more and more clear as you made your way down the hall

Miguel: “Do you already have an idea on who it could be?…Fuck. Okay, I’ll *sigh* I’ll be there soon.” He hung up and pinched the bridge of his nose in a mixture of frustration and disappointment.

Y/N: “Youre leaving again aren’t you?” Your voice startled him out of his sulk.

Miguel: “…Jess suspects there’s a spider variant that’s purposely letting anomalies run loose in other dimensions. I have to handle this Y/N...”

7 hours, it took 7 hours to fall into the same old routine. It was honestly amusing at this point, all you could do was laugh. How stupid you were to think things could be any different. How stupid you were to think that HE could be any different.

Y/N: “Are you fucking serious?!” You shouted

Miguel: “Y/N Stop it, not right now please. I need you to just go back to bed and let me—

Y/N: “Let you what?! Let you leave me and come back anytime you find it convenient? How long are you gonna be gone this time Miguel, a month this time? Do you even care about the promise you kept to me? Or do I even cross your mind when you’re out there dimensions away from home playing hero for everyone else but me? This isn’t a hotel Miguel, this is our home! At least that what it fucking used to be!” You fumed. He towered above you but that didn’t stop from getting in his face, “It’s not fair Miguel! You don’t get to leave me alone for weeks and come back and fuck me thinking that’ll make it all better! You have to be better!”

Miguel: “You need to stop acting like you’re the only person in my world that needs my attention! I’m not a monster for putting the safety of the multiverse first. Im sorry I can’t be here to rock you to bed and give you a kiss goodnight all the time. Sometimes we have to put personal matters on the back burner Y/N, it’s called responsibility!” He gathered his phone and the rest of his belongings off the kitchen table

Miguel: “I have enough to worry about as it is, having you and Jess blowing up my phone to go to some party with people I don’t even know doesn’t he—

Y/N: “What?” Your tone was softer and started to become laced with hurt, it was evident in the way your voice started to shake, “Jess called you that night and it took you a week to come back?”

Realization of what he just said settles in and it makes his brows furrow in frustration and both himself and you. When he looks over at you with that same stupid emotionless face he always has you can’t help but boil with anger. His nonchalance towards your problems made you curl your fist until your knuckles turned white

Y/N: “No you’re not a monster, but you are an ASSHOLE for making me believe you could balance work and me! Why are you even with me if you can’t—

Miguel: “This conversation is over, I have a job to do and youre keeping me from doing it.” He cut you off harshly, dismissing your concerns yet again.

Y/N: “I never asked you to sacrifice your obligations! I said from the beginning that being a hero comes first, just make some goddamn time for me now and then! Why Miguel? Why do I have to beg you to see my family at Christmas?! Why do I have to beg you to meet my friends or give me an ounce of attention?! Why do I have to ask you to care about me?!”, This was frustrating him too much, your lack of understanding was infuriating. Miguel had to leave before he said something he might regret. He turned away from you and your manic sobbing and made his way to the window seal without another word, afraid that he might damage things worse than they already were by speaking

Y/N: “If we switched places I wouldn’t DARE treat you as terribly as you treat me—

Miguel: “WELL YOURE NOT ME! YOU SIT AT A DESK AND DOODLE ON A FUCKING COMPUTER! YOUR CAREER IS A JOKE, A CHILD COULD DO WHAT YOU DO. YOU CONTRIBUTE NOTHING TO THIS WORLD, I DO.” His nostrils flared and his eyes burned red with anger, “SO DONT YOU DARE SPEAK ABOUT MY LIFE LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT, WHAT IVE HAD TO SACRIFICE JUST TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT IN THIS WORLD!”

Y/N: “GOD. YOU ARE SUCH A CUNT!”

Miguel: “AND YOURE A REPLACEMENT!”

Miguels eyes widened and his rampage instantly stopped. You couldn’t believe the words that had just left his mouth, and honestly he couldn’t either. He didn’t mean it at all, he wanted to take back those words as soon as the left his mouth, he just wanted to leave. Why didn’t you just let him leave? He wouldve been right back. The air was thick and uncomfortable, your combined heavy breathing was the only thing filled the space between the two of you.

Miguel: “I…I’ll be right back.” There was a shakiness in his voice and in his movement when he stepped out onto the fire escape.

Y/N: “Dont come back. If you leave tonight…don’t come back Miguel.” You spoke in a tone barely above a whisper

Miguel: “We’ve said things we don’t mean…I’ll be back later to fix things.” His suit integrated onto his body and he leapt off of the building ledge. A blur of blue and red was the only trace he left behind.

The truth was out now, how Miguel really felt towards you. You were never a first priority or even a second or third, you were nothing but a soul to fill the space where something else was missing. His wife, his daughter, you never tried to stand in their place or become what they were to him, but now you knew that’s the only reason Miguel kept you around. You were his vice

Your heavy cries carried throughout the apartment as you laid in bed cradling the maroon cardigan that was in the gift box Miguel got you.

The spider society headquarters was empty and calm, but the office at the top floor was anything but. Miguel sat atop of his hovering platform brooding in silence in front of his computer monitors, It’d been like this since he arrived. Miguel was always stern and reserved, he never held a conversation with anyone other than Jess or Lyla so him being fairly quiet was normal. But for Miguel to not say anything at all was strange, and it didn’t take long for others to take notice of his behavior shift since leaving your apartment

Margo, Peter, and Jess were the last people at headquarters, after a long day of interrogating potential rogue variants the crew was finally successful and able to apprehend Spiderman on Earth-3360. What will happen to the young man wasn’t decided yet but catching him was a cause for celebration. The group sat around the cafeteria table sharing empanadas and Soju for a few minutes before they went back to their own universes

Margo: “Yeah Ive been in his office all day with him and Lyla and he’s barely said 2 sentences, he wasn’t even mean during interrogation. It’s like he didn’t have it in him to yell. I think he’s depressed or something.”

Peter: “I thought he was always depressed, that’s like his thing isn’t it? That’s why he’s not funny.” He joked and finished off the last empanada

Jess: “I don’t know but I need to get home, my back is killing me and I can’t deal with The Grinch any longer.” She said taking letters hand to help her up from the chair.

The group said goodnight to each other, Margo logged off and Jess went home to some much needed rest, honestly this line of work seems too dangerous for a pregnant woman. Peter made his way up to Miguel’s office, who he knew could hear the entire conversation thanks to his enhanced hearing.

Peter: “You know they’re right Miguel…” he shouted up to Miguel who was brooding on his platform

Miguel: “About what?” he asked in a condescending tone

Peter: “About you, you don’t think we’ve noticed you moping around all day. Do you wanna tell me what the deal is so you can stop pouting?” he swung onto the platform and took a seat next to Miguel, crossing his arms and sitting firm in place waiting for Miguel’s response but he was met with silence, “Is it the rogue variant? Cuz we’re not gonna let this happen again…”

Miguel: “No.”

Peter: “Miles? Gwen? Ben?”

Miguel: “No it’s none of them.” He turned his attention away from him and focused on organizing the handful of papers on his desk

Peter: “Then what is it? Is it Y/N?”

Miguel: “Did I say anything about Y/N?! Why even bring her up?!” He snapped, it was exhausting having to work and act like every terrible thing he said wasn’t weighing on his mind. Miguel couldn’t even interrogate the variant with losing focus, having to have Jess switch him out is gonna remain one of the most embarrassing points in his Spider-Man career. Peter was never a first choice for a sounding board, but it was only going to get worse for Miguel if he didn’t turn to someone for advice, because Lord knows he was terrible at handling relationship problems on his own

Miguel: “I said something bad, really really bad Peter…” he confessed. He took a seat in the chair next to him

Peter: “Do you wanna be more specific?”

Miguel: “I told her that her career was a joke. Then I called her…a replacement.” Peters eyes widened, he knew Miguel was capable of harsh words, he’d seen it first hand with Miles but this was unexpected. Especially with you, the girl he fawned over and practically stalked at work until you made the first move.

Peter: “Shit, Miguel. That’s really messed up…Did you mean it?” He asked

Miguel: “No of course not! I didn’t mean any of it, I was just frustrated. I’m not the bad guy for prioritizing my duties! She just wasn’t listening Peter, she wasn’t understanding any of what I was saying or where I was coming from. I didn’t mean what I said.”

Peter: “So why did you say it?!” Peter exclaimed

Miguel: “I DONT KNOW!”, He slouched over in his chair and cradled his head in his hands, his own words made him sick to his stomach. How he urged to tell you how guilty he was for what he said, for never being there, for making you feel like you didn’t mean anything, “I just wanted her to be quiet, everything she was saying was right but it made me feel guilty and awful. I wanted to make her feel worse than I felt. God I’m so fucking dumb…”

Peter: “You know I’m not good with this, it wasn’t long ago that I was a sad piece of shit too with a partner at home who basically couldn’t stand me. That being said, I also know that when it feels like nothing you say can make up for everything you said, and you said A LOT, maybe too much. I would never say something like that, that was insane…”

Miguel: “Peter…” he said through gritted teeth

Peter: “Sorry sorry, that being said when it feels like there’s nothing you can say that could make up for everything you said, a simple apology means more than you think it does. A real apology Miguel.” Peter looked at him, he didn’t need words to know that Peter was basically tell him to finally get his shit together.

Miguel: “What if she doesn’t accept it?”

Peter: “She will if you mean it…”

Passing buildings were a blur to Miguel, he was racing home so fast he couldn’t even focus on anything around him. While he swung from structure to structure he planned out every single thing he’d say to you, how he’s sorry for failing you in this relationship and he’d change for the both of you. He even tried to remember if there was still cinnamon in the spice cabinet so he could make you your favorite comfort drink, champurrado.

Miguel soon landed on the fire escape outside your apartment, you made a habit of leaving the curtains open for him so he could see if you were up or not and now it was an involuntary part of your routine. He peeked inside and saw you sleeping peacefully on your bed, hoping to come join you he tried to open the window but it wasn’t budging.

‘Had you locked it on purpose?’ He thought to himself, no you couldn’t have, you always left in unlocked for him. But when he saw the book you had used to block the window from being moved he panicked. Miguel knocked on your window, frantic and desperate

Miguel: “Y/N! Y/N! Unlock the window!” He pleaded. His knocking stirred you out of your sleep and you sat up in your bed, your puffy eyes on full display. When you finally looked over at him you were emotionless just as he was to you, it terrified him seeing you look at him with no longing or affection

Miguel: “Let me in…please cariño”, he begged

You were so tired, you were so tired of wondering why your boyfriend left you to question his love for you and now after tonight you know why. You stood face to face with him, the window still a barrier between you and him. It ate away at you but you couldn’t stand another night asking yourself why you weren’t getting the love you deserved. You had your answer and you didn’t need Miguel around anymore, not if you were going to be another substitute for what was missing.

Miguel: “Y/N…Y/N please wait!—

You closed the curtain in his face and went back to bed but it didn’t stop his knocking and pleading, begging for you to let him in and mend what he broke. It continued for an hour until you were convinced he eventually gave up and left. Him being gone finally gave you a chance to break down once again into your sheets, but Miguel sat on the fire escape listening to every choked out sob and hiccup you let out. Every painful cry the he caused you and now he wondered if he’d ever be able to fix it.

[ashtraythief]

Hey! So ive been a long time reader of ur underneath verse (since like.. 2018? Maybe even 2017?) and i just wanted to drop by and tell u how much im enjoying rereading ur writing! Like in general i think this is one of my fav fics series just bc its so extensive and well done and thought out and fleshed out so well it works so well? Like seeing all the different angles and the way u choose to frame things is really fun for me and kinda inspires my own writing in some aspects.

Ive never read the whole thing all in one go before so ive decided to do that right now and im just about done with the pied pipers song - more specifically willys chapter. And i kinda needed to let u know that ur series really stands out to me just bc of how many glimpses into other characters and all these different povs of the same thing like on it stands out on a technical level but then ur actual writing of these things is so good and compelling and like as an outsider pov bitch it hits the spot for me so well? Like ur writing is never stale and its always interesting.

I specifically wanted to take this time to mention that i really love willy and winstons characters and how u went about it. Like im ngl the way u wrote them kinda makes me want to cry tears of happiness for them bc they have found ppl who appreciate them and they have connections with other ppl but then the bittersweet tang of jensen and willy is kinda fucking me up rn /pos djjdjdjd like in general u really do the bittersweet jensen is stuck undercover angle really well and it HURTS so good

But yes i dont really have a good concise message or comment to leave beyond the fact that i keep stopping every few sentences to get up and jump bc im so excited about what im reading i need to get rid of that excess energy lol so sorry if this is all over the place and a really messy message! I just really wanted to let u know how much im enjoying reading it all rn. Thank you so much for sharing ur writing with us and for continuing to write for this series its so fun!

omg nonnie, I'm kinda speechless here (this is the second wonderful message in two days so I'm kinda overwhelmed. is it send wonderful messages week somewhere??)

I just am so grateful and this message made me so happy. never apologize for maybe not having a five point outline lol, this is amazing.

The underneath verse has always been my fandom baby, so praise for it is already amazing, but the pied piper fic and Winston and Willy epsecially, it just makes my heart so full. Ten years ago, they definitely started out as stock characters of mob drivers, because I didn't think this fic would get so big, but then it did, and Willy especially became a real character. a) because I knew he'd fall in love with Jensen too, as anyone does really and b) because I looooove the bittersweet undercover Jensen shtick where I write from other character's POV and the reader knows how wrong they're getting it but they don't *mu har har* (yeah I'm a little mean sometime. sorry?)

but in all seriousness, the Willy chapter, I'ev been working on that for months. And I kept adding things and rewriting things and trying to get it perfect even though I know that most people who read the story mostly care about Jared and Jensen (which is totally fair and understandable), but I care about him and there are a few people out there who do too (and I love you for it, so much), but with Willy, I just wante to do this /right/. I've come to love him so much, and he's come to be so important to Jensen, it felt like he and Winston really deserve their own story told even though that's kind of ridiculous because they're not real, but they're a little real to me now. All this to say, nonnie, this comment and your appreciation of Willy means so fucking much to me. And my poor alpha reader who read like four drafts of this (seriously, M. is a saint) and my beta readers who then had to beta four iterations of this. To know that this effort is appreciated this much honestly make me cry a little (I am not having the greatest time right now, so I cry easily but the point still stands. Thank you.)

This message was actually such an energy boost I'm currently trying to fix the next timestamp, lol so I'll have something to post next month. You're a true treasure, nonnie <3

[hearts4robs]

Hello~!

I've never done a match up event before! But knew I had to try once I saw it was open cause your writing is absolutely precious!

For Fandom, I guess DC! Love Batfam family chaos! Makes me want to curl up with a blanket and watch them bicker and roughhouse until Alfred comes in with a feather duster, looking equal parts disappointed and amused.

I'm a 5'3 18 year old asexual panromatic. (Yes, im just a baby, though i have been told-more like my therapist often told me that i dont act my age, saying i act like Im 30. Still trying to figure out if I should be offended by that.) With long hair that's completely grown out red box dye like little mermaid red, my roots being somehow not quite brown not quite ginger and just not blonde enough to be strawberry blonde. My appearance is fairly round and cute even if my expression is often RB. My eyes are a green that appears to be more of a dark grey.

To sum up my personality in one word would be cat like. Sometimes I'm docile and actually a bit of a doormat. In new environments, I tend to shadow some I know and can't find myself able to stand up for myself. This is probably ties into my selective mutism and social anxiety. Sometimes, when I'm in a familiar environment, I tend to be more aggressive for better or for worse. I love a good argument and debate, standing firm in my decision even if I'm wrong. That stubbornness has gotten me in trouble quite a few times. Though cause of it, I've thought of becoming a lawyer. When I'm not arguing I'm drawing, or painting on my walls which I've done far too many times now.

I'm very much a homebody who rather stay in pjs but perfect date wise would probably be a bit of a classic nerd/bookworm date of going to a cute book store and getting lost in the deep wooden bookshelves flicking through various of books catching my eye. Maybe debating on what book is better or whatever trope is more interesting in a detective novel. (I love murder mystery, horror, thrillers, romances of all types, and absolutely despise shakespeare. I was told Romeo and Juliet was a tragic romance. Liars they all are all I can see is the making of a really creepy stalker movie. I can't watch horror movies funny little contradiction, right?) Personally I'd probably write something after the date. I always get inspired by going out and always find myself hunched over my laptop writing whatever inspired me have it be the moment or a movie. I don't know how many times I've watched a movie and got inspired just to spend hours writing whatever fanfic about it. Which can be either amazing or terrible cause I'm an okay writer with a preference for angst due to my dark humor.

I never realized how hard it was to pick an ideal type until just now lol. I guess my type is someone who would enjoy talking/debating/discussing with me, someone fun who loves to do new activities as ive never really do much and is willing to listen to me ramble about whatever hyperfixation. Bucket list kind of things or be able to stay in and talk about their day while I cook some food. (One of my love languages is food. I want to be full and content.) I'm a homebody who has more of a traditional mindset due to my upbringing. So staying home and activities at home would probably be more common. Oh! A bit more open minded or at leasr able to deal with my curiosity, I love discussing religions and culture practices (im unfortunately like the whitest of whites. My dad's side is a bit of a classic white racist). I'm a pagan with some more Wiccan practices, yes crystals and candles. We put holly near our front door and hang cinnamon brooms throughout the house to bring good fortune.

Trope is also a hard pick. I like a good enemies to lovers or a revenge story but romance wise probably a childhood friends (or friends to lovers) idea. Just the idea of your partner being someone who was your friend since you were a tot and chasing butterflies, picking dandelions to blow them into the wind. Someone who has looked at you like your the center of their world while you pull them through the park. Even though they have no idea what lo6ge is truly is. Just kind of melts my heart, and will probably give me cavities from the fluff.

Ahh hopefully I did this right! Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. Hope you have a blessed day, and something amazing happens to you soon <3

𝐓𝐢𝐦 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐤𝐞: 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞-𝐨𝐮𝐭

“I’m back!” Tim exclaims out into the open hallway as he pushes the door closed with his foot. There were multiple white, thin plastic bags in Tim’s hands, his keys dangling from one of his fingers.

You raise your head from the book in your lap, leaning forward to catch a glimpse of your boyfriend as he shimmied his way out of his shoes.

“Hi, honey.” You smile at him as he walks to the coffee table in front of you, setting down the bags of different take-out.

“Alright.” Tim sighs with a grin, his chest heaving a bit quicker, like he was a bit out of breath.

“What’s all this?” You ask, reaching over and pulling some of the thin plastic away from the food. “Smells amazing, no doubt but-“

“Well, you said you wanted to taste the world.” Tim says, a giddy smile on his lips as he plops down onto the couch beside you with a sigh. “So I brought it to you.”

You smile at him before snorting out a chuckle.

“Fuck you.” You say, and Tim simply smiles before grabbing a small box of thai food, handing it to you, giving you a chance to get the first bite.

“You’re welcome.” He says, nuzzling a small kiss to the softness of your cheek.

Headcanons:

Tim and you have annual movie nights. Every Friday night. Very simple, very easy. You have a joint letterbox account where you leave brutally honest reviews and you both analyse that shit like your life depends on it.

When you guys moved into your shared apartment, Tim dedicated one of the walls of your living room for you to paint and draw on. Needed more space? He’ll paint it over with whatever background colour you need.

You guys have a small chalk board on your fridge. It was used as a small shopping list at first, like writing up stuff like ‘ran outta eggs and cucumber’, but it quickly ended up in Tim leaving you cute notes and reminders for when he was gone on patrol.

Tim doesn’t always understand your asexuality, and he struggled to figure out how to relieve himself, but he figured out a solution and tries to turn the topic whenever someone discusses it to the point it makes you uncomfortable.

I hope you like this </3 it’s a bit late and honestly a little rushed but I’m trying😭🙏this also ISN’T proof-read so I’m so, so sorry if there’s mistakes☝️☹️

[dirtnote]

9 people you want to get to know better tag game-- tagged by @punkpal !!! thanks <3

Three ships: well you see i do not really do that anymore but. me/inspiration me/motivation me/money ❤️ (i dont think that like, Enjoying canon relationships in stories i watch counts)

First ship: i dont even know... when i was a kid i always looked up AMVs for crack ships cus i thought it was funny though

Last Song: Heaven In Your Head by Nuclear Daisies

Last Movie: oh it was The Curse of La Llorona. mid horror i fell asleep towards the end of it

Currently Reading: well i was catching up on classics.. lord of the flies but i keep forgetting so its been a long while

Currently Watching: OFMD S2 as it airs, just started Castlevania today, and Fionna and Cake (ive never watched Adventure Time btw LOL i just know some key things via cultural osmosis. im gonna watch it but i thought I'd reverse order it)

Currently Consuming: nothing my teeth are clean i took a shower and im sitting here on the bed :) i should drink more water tho

Currently Craving: nothing✨ <- trying to keep it that way now

ummmm i'll tag @piratebay @bel1speak @nebulousspace @conqu3er @dogbytez @laguz @mobanjaree @wordlesspoemtree @m8nstruck weeee

[mejomonster]

Started reading In The Dark, first chapter Nightmares:

Interesting vibes. Before anything else, I love the descriptions in this. I've been losing my own ability to spit out what the fuck Im trying to describe when writing lately, and the slightly poetic imagery but also to the point present tense of how this is written... it's really helping inspire me. (And of course, seeing quick examples of describing characters and buildings quickly without clumsiness but also still with some emotion is helpful)

Expectedly, the leads appear to be "two hot men" as is the bl usual ToT it is what it is. I'm partial to modu's babes still, but I'll get used to a new novel again lmao (what can I say? No character in a Long While is gonna top the fucking Captain China descriptions, the personality of priests characters screaming out so much that its ultimately the feeling of the character so unique and bizarre that you remember more than actual looks).

I am hoping, somehow, this novel's gonna be written as intelligently (as in intense themes, parallels, symbolism, points to make) as a priest novel. Im spoiled cause all the other chinese bl novels ive finished reading? Fucking excellent. I think my hopes are justified, tbh. If for no other reason than this writer doing some of my favorite shit: they name dropped a japanese murder author Ive read (and mentioned a plot of it im intrigued by), and they've left a TON of potential foreshadowing threads.

Said threads: opening, character dreams of a bloody woman? Could be a Fei Du (ish) situation where he did awful stuff and blacked it out. Could be a darker situation, where he's actually the bad guy/antihero/dangerous and we get a story from THAT point of view in some regard (which is a fascinating potential).

Character meets guy who clearly matches him, was at the theater for him, stalking him? At some prior point, started watching him first? Oh you know me. I like a slow burn. I like a long history (as long as its not childhood friends anything but that), i like rivals, its giving L X Light, Beyond Evil guys energy.

The movie playing: the stranger says he doesnt like roses. And the earlier quote from the murder novel, the Xie Lanshan remebering the quote that "even a demon essentially Id still love you." My prediction: one of them believes even cruel they'll love the other, but the other believes they'd stop loving and fight each other. This of course also implies: one will go darkside/be cruel/lose themselves/already is lost, and either that same one Or the other will not be loving the other when love is whats expected. Sort of the whole "youre a monster, but you wont hurt me" then the monster DOES hurt you. Or "even though youre a monster, ill still be here with you" (which is luo wenzhou 100 percent) but with the monster going "well that was a fucking mistake cause i am killing/betraying you now." If this novel likes foreshadowing, which i like, itll play with this AT LEAST in some case long arc. And ideally itll play out between the leading lovers. Which if so, is a story Id be interested in reading

And yes, i did go into this totally blind except knowing its (probably) a dark detective bl story. So we'll see how the predicting goes lol

For real though, i do really enjoy its writing style and the way its snappy but lingers just enough on painting images emotionally.

[i-sveikata]

I've been reading various fanfics dealing with the series for a year now. Endless variations of Vegas and Pete, Kim and Chay... One shots, novels, longer stories. I feel like almost everything has been said and thought about. The fleshing out of the canon, the back story, the childhood and what might come after.

I developed a real addiction and couldn't get enough, especially of the complex relationship between Vegas and Pete and their respective very multi-faceted characters. The number of authors is huge, but I also spent a lot of time reading them. To my dismay, I am noticing signs of fatigue in me.

Now that everything seems to have been said, every possible happy or tragic ending seems to have been thought out and told, many fics veer off into alternative universes and genres.

It's all wonderful to read and I'm grateful that there are so many unknown but worthwhile authors whose work will never be printed but who are worthy of a large readership.

But: Since fanfiction is tied to concrete people and concrete, and to a readership that has seen the series. How do you see the future? The actors will take on new roles, if all goes well, new beautiful plots will be developed there too and good series or films will be made.

How long can the hype around KinnPorsch and the series continue? Do you have the feeling that everything is coming to an end, now that the anniversary of KP is being celebrated in a big way? Is boredom creeping up on you or is the end not yet in sight and is there still a lot that needs to be written? I have also asked this question to other writers because it really bothers me, but I would be interested in YOUR answer.

Hi there!! hmm interesting question and I don't really want to discount how youre feeling or anything but i do very much doubt that everything that could be possibly said and thought about for this fandom has been done already.

because this show isn't really that old? and the age of the show or when it finished really has no bearing on the existing fandom if you think about it. at a certain point fandom breaks away and becomes its own separate entity.

like i wouldnt say im an expert but the things that keep fandom alive are not really even directly related to whether there's new episodes or video clips or content about the actors from the show that the fans can consume.

take teen wolf for example (because its a fandom ive been in the longest) that show ended in 2017 and literally as of now when i've just checked it on ao3 it has 106,344 works written for it. A show that started in 2011 and finished six years ago. And people are still posting stories for it today! (i myself still have some WIPs which i eventually intend to finish off and share) ignoring the fact that there was a teen wolf movie recently that hardly anyone in the fandom watched it's still inspiring fic, and fanart even now six years later.

and why is that? because there's no time limit on a fandom, it's because of the fans creating things like fanart, fanfic, playlists, gifs, meta analysis, tumblr posts, twitter posts, fandom discords etc. because having a constantly running tv show or a movie or book doesn't keep a fandom alive. fans do.

to compare right now, the works i can see in kinnporsche tv series tag in ao3 havent even topped 10,000 yet. like seriously let that sink in. 106,344 fics to 9,556. like im not really trying to compare right now but its just to give you some idea that KP in particular is really just starting out, like we are literally dealing with a baby fandom here so i wouldnt despair just yet that people have already run out of ideas or that its already finished because if you have dedicated fans behind you you can end up with literally over one hundred thousand stories to read about that fandom. and tbh teen wolf isn't even the biggest fandom out there!!

And if you are feeling fatigue with the KP fandom right now then of course i would recommend stepping away from it for a while in order to give yourself a break. because at the end of the day it is totally up to you to customise your own experience.

im not really sure why it matters whether authors writing for this fandom will be published or not? im mean they literally cant legally publish fandom works? or profit off it? not without sanding the story down to repurpose it for entirely new characters. but you can always save or download copies of your favourite KP fic and if you are interested in a physical copy you could always get these bound into a book yourself (with permission from the fic authors of course).

im also a little hesitant to address the comment about 'worthwhile authors being worthy of a large readership' because it kind of discounts all of the other authors who are putting their time and effort into posting stories and might not be getting the same level of comments or kudos or attention as others. like the whole point of keeping a fandom alive is to interact with all of it and if you want to encourage more content than that means dealing with the fandom at a community level. (im not talking about the dont like/dont read elements of fandom obviously the rule of thumb there is to just click out)

But i personally really dont like the idea of setting some authors above the rest because their stories might have gotten more attention or traction within a fandom. it's meant to be a community. not a hierarchy. nobody should be on a pedestal in fandom. and i would hesitate to put any number of people above anyone else for this reason. like we really all are just people being inspired by the things we watch and experience. and by suggesting that some authors might be 'worthy' it also implies that others are not, which kind of goes against the spirit of fandom imo and can be really discouraging for people creating art or fic that might not be getting as much likes, reblogs, kudos, comments etc compared to others.

I also just want to point out that a lot of people come into fandoms without having ever watched the specific content that the fandom might be about? its actually a very common thing and they still read and engage with the fandom anyway in spite of this? so its really not tied to specific people or a readership that has watched the series.

At the end of the day i really don't think hype is what keeps a fandom alive, it's the dedicated people within that community who like and share and comment and talk to each other about the stories they love.

personally im not at all bored with this fandom (and tbh im still not bored with teen wolf lol) so i hope you aren't discouraged by the idea that a fandom simply will fall apart without its tv show because i absolutely can reassure you that it wont!

and also, taking time from a fandom can also mean that when you are ready to come back there's always the possibility of falling in love all over again. so really dont let the fatigue bother you! just because your love might be waning for the show doesn't mean that others are feeling the same way! there's always plenty more for people to share and enjoy and talk about so its not really over.

tbh fandoms dont ever really finish or disappear completely anyway. like at the end of the day you have platforms like ao3 where peoples works are archived for all time and tumblr where hints of fandom will always still roam about in reblog land. that kind of love doesn't just vanish!

welp this was a long response lol but i hope it helped in some way!

[naffeclipse]

yello Naff!!! i really admire your writing, from the way you write intense nail biting scenes to soft quiet moments i adore ALL of it, and ive read almost ALL of your fics [In Deep Dreams Between the Waves im sorry i'll read you i swear] and ive been incredibly inspired by your writing, after not reading fanfics for years your style just dragged me further into my DCA hyperfixation [...i lowkey made this account just so i can share my sleuth jesters fanart ngl] your narratives have been a huge comfort also in my stressful exam-filled life, its a goddamn event when you update <3

GOD i got distracted but i wanted to ask if you have any advice for some one whos really new to writing? even if its super simple im VERY lost, i havent tried making any long-form fic, ive drabbled in writing 4k~ oneshots but never published any, the social anxiety and pressure of making a good fic is VERY SCARY SKLDJFKLSJL

No pressure to answer any of this btw!!! if you dont want to thats no biggie jus know i love your works very much <3 i hope you have a good christmas Naff!!

Hey, babe! ♥ AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I'm so touched, oh my gosh! You're gonna make me cry ;-; Merry Christmas to you, too!

Now for writing advice! I do have this tag right here that you can look through! However, for a new writer specifically, I got a bit I can tell ya!

Let yourself write what you want to write

Self-indulge, use tropes and whatever plot beats you want, just do whatever you want to do and have fun! Don't try to craft something to please others, because that's a good way to become miserable and burnt out real quick. This writing is for you. No one else. You. You just decide to share it if you wish!

Outlining

I highly recommend, especially for a long fic, to have your ending in mind. It erases a lot of stress and allows you to build up towards that ending in a natural and effortless manner. You don't have to get super nitty and gritty with outlining, just a basic format of events and a few notes here and there. HOWEVER! I should mention that outlining isn't everyone's ideal way to craft a story, and that's okay! I will warn you that it can be difficult if you come up with the story as you go along, but again, do what allows you to create. Outlining works for me, but it might not work for everyone.

Please be nice to yourself

Let yourself try new things, take breaks, learn from mistakes and continue to improve, and do not let one mean comment or negative review stop you. Writing can be daunting, but you can overcome it. It's so rewarding and should make you feel accomplished and satisfied, not horrible or defeated.

Good luck and happy writing!!! ♥

[prettyboykatsuki]

hi fang!!

i apologise if this is something u get asked often, but ur writing is most definitely my favourite to consume and ive never felt feelings the way i do when i read anything you've written, and was wondering if you have (or have already posted) any writing tips that u could give me?

reading your creations for so long has honestly really inspired me to write too but i have no idea where to start in terms of anything. i've never attempted to write before, i've always been more of a reader, but if i could make anything even close to what you do for beloved characters and fandoms then it would make me so so so happy.

if you need me to be more specific about what i'm having trouble with i could try and narrow it down but honestly everything is pretty accurate T-T

anyways thank u for posting everything u do, i am eternally grateful! at this point im conditioned to get excited every time im scrolling on dash and see the green katsuki pfp <3 hope ur 8 hours wherever u are isnt too perilous >:(

this made my lower lip tremble how could u think so highly of lil ol me.... im very glad my writing could invoke such feelings you!! enough so to even inspire like how huge is that... im a very unpolished and messy writer by nature so im extra moved when people are kind to me about this kind of thing. like.. ough. i have moved u... what a world...

i dont know if i have any good writing advice to give you!! im very clumsy in my own writing. here is some advice i have given people before

my biggest piece of writing advice is stop worrying about it and do everything lightly. i think there is a lot of pressure and expectation on people who are trying their hand at any creative thing to hit a point of being objectively good. im a huge perfectionist in my normal life - but because of that, i always miss out things i could actually do. being that caught up on the details made it so that i never actually tried at anything

a lot of my writing has typing errors and things i could do better but i have to intentionally allow myself that grace because if i don't - i would've never finished a piece of writing in the first place. i only get better if i write and i only write if im not so caught up on the details. there is always going to be a learning curve. im always going to look back at old writing and wince a little at all the things i can do better.

but at the time, i had the confidence to put that out into the world. now that its out, i can look at myself critically. posting for me is a way of holding myself accountable if that makes sense. everyones already seen the flawed version, so there's no longer any reason to not improve or be embarrassed. its also why i dont delete fics even when i hate them later. there was one person who liked the cringe worthy sincere aspect of me. how nice would it be if i could make something even better than that.

writing can be anything you want. it can be the most important thing you've ever done or the thing you do on the bus ride home. it can change your life or you can forget about it the very next day. its yours. your voice is always all yours.

but you it can never be anything to you if you don't just give it your most honest try. do everything very lightly. pick an idea, map out a beginning middle and end, and write a story.

more practically - it will help immensely for you to observe the way other people write first. try to read critically instead of for enjoyment and see what you like. what inspires you? a persons flow, diction, dialogue? and emulate that in your own way. when you start your voice will not be much more than a mish-mash of all the things you love and that's okay. that's what all writers with very distinct voice tend to do anyways.

i know it seems counter intuitive and pointless to stress but really - the best thing you can do for yourself when it comes to writing is just sitting down and giving it a try. pick any idea, plot out a simple 3 point beginning middle and end, and just see what you can do. you can be critical and edit as much as you want after. just get it down on paper first the best you can and don't worry yourself sick over each sentence or nothing will ever get written

i can try and give you more practical advice if you let me know what you need!! ive given writing advice before but im very under qualified for that i fear. even so i hope it helps you a little to give it a shot. i know it sucks to hear u just have to try and see but it rlly is true

[weepylucifer]

hi! im trying to get into luciferanism and ive always admired how you worship. I was just wondering how you got into it/what are the best places to start? thank you!!

i had to let that one marinate bc, whew, you must have been here a long time. it's been about 5 years since i talked about luciferianism at any length

i can forward you a post with links for sources on it but be aware that i personally haven't vetted these and, from my experience with the different types of people that find themselves drawn to any flavor of satanism, you could find a WIDE array of dodgy shit here. enjoy with care: (x)

i can say i got into it purely by accident: i was a teen and i saw a german youtuber i admired at the time talk a bit about being a satanist, and so i just started saying i was one too. i can pretty confidently claim that's honestly all anyone does, plus extra frills of choice attached.

no, hear me out here: the thing that still fascinates me about luciferianism and really any kind of satanism is that it's an entirely artificial religion. now, you could say "that's all religions. they're all made up by humans lol" and i'd dock you points in the game of life for being a reddit atheist. you could say all religion is really a long tradition of passing on a narrative and set of guidelines to help us live good lives and understand our starry universe, and i'd be lenient with you for wording it more sensitively. but that's not what i MEAN. what i mean is: most religions are built up, more or less by consensus, organically over the centuries. and most religions that you'd think of raise some claim towards the truth: that their god is real, that their prophets are real, that their holy scripture came about as a result of some manner of inspiration from a superior entity. satanism in no form claims that. the satanic bible was written by some guy, and no one is saying that satan spoke to him. i don't think anton szandor lavey believed satan exists. the overwhelming majority of satanists don't believe satan exists. the entire point is to take the cultural narrative that exists in a (christian-centric) culture about satan and craft something out of it that carries spiritual meaning to you. that's why satanism is not so much a religious group as it is myriads of worshippers doing their own thing.

(this does however carry the danger of just producing individualism with a goth veneer, and lavey himself was inspired by ayn rand. be very wary! ☝️)

i've seen luciferianism loosely defined as this: you take in the story of lucifer, and you try to make it applicable to your life. for me, this has kind of organically led to becoming a communist. this is my one legit offering to you: not higher wisdom, but the words of mortal man (karl marx). ...nahh just kidding go wherever you want with it. that said, reading paradise lost can't hurt!! while that's probably not what milton wanted you to get from it, it really does show you a great sympathetic devil!

[mrscarmenbearzatto]

mae bae what are you too 5 favs shows

-🩰

im so glad you asked let me tell you (these are in no particular order unless we want them to be, in which case i say i am indecisive)

1. obviously, the bear. cannot go wrong with rewatching this and creating fake scenarios in my head.

2. greys anatomy, i’ve been falling in love with jolex and slexie for some reason recently. the medical aspect / the love stories / the cinematography sometimes is.. chefs kiss

3. peacemaker is one ive started watching recently but i have really liked it so far. i’m still trying to get used to the idea of like potentially getting to write adrian chase x reader

4. criminal minds. i will always watch criminal minds, any chance i get. long road trip? criminal minds. it is.. yes. its a show i can rewatch and never grow tired of.

5. shameless. i have been religiously rewatching this and specifically like lip gallagher scenes on youtube because i need .. inspiration for a fanfic i have.

now if we’re talking movies ugh i could rant about those all day long too

[lordoftablecloths]

vent post i guess i dont know i just wanted to write stuff down instead of just go ing to bed and crying over it you can just scroll past it

im fine im sane im noramal im so unbleiveably cringe ,, the only person i have irl- fuck, or even online for that matter- to show the dumbass things i write is my silly little dumbass younger brother who doesn;t understand what im trying to get at and i guess its not his fault, i seriously doubt he's spent unhealthy amounts of time making various short scenerios in his head about charcters he came up with and eventually trying to give them a story and write little things about them in google docs because where else am i supposed to put this and its just ,, he doesnt know wht im trying to do and i dont know how to explain it to him because the "history" i gess behind it is so fucking complicated by now that these characters arent even the same characters as they were when i originally created them, other than some physical attributes and their names and he just knows them as the random cringe shit i made up in middle school but so many years have passed by now that these stupid fuckers whose only purpose to serve is to make me stop remembering that i exist and ive gotten too attatched to them because who else was i supposed to get attatched to when i was going through an identity crisis at the time- and, quite frankly, still fucking am- and it was so much easier to pretend i dont exist and just project my flaws and insecurities and underlying subconcsious thoughts into these charactes that no one knows about except me and oh god im just created a long ass vent post on tumblr that no one's going to read and no one understands the story behind fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck whatever ill go ahead and post this unfinished thing because no one's going to get it either way ill probably delete it later if it doesnt get buried under reblogs

dont think too much about this i just got sad because my brother was giving me a bunch of criticism on an outline of a story i was working on- which is fair, i need to take criticism- but he only knows the characters in it as their semi-formed cringe versions so i chickened out half way and now i feel bad because i was really proud of this thing for the whopping span of like one day before i decided to show it to another human person instead of letting it rot away inside of me like i usually do and now i feel bad about my writing skills

im trying so hard to just take his words with a grain of salt because this kid does not have nearly as much experience with writing as i do, but i feel like im copying too many of my inspirations (DnD, generic fantasy story about defeating evil creature, silly tropes, etc,,) which sucks because that was just like the first two pages of the outline and theres nine fucking pages and like the second half of it was what i put the most effort into and i felt like the ideas were really origianl but i could make myself let him naturally get to that part of the outline because i was starting to feel really bad and wieerd and oh god he is looking at ideas i havent ever expressed to another human person even though i am very familaiar with because i came up with them and they havebeen in my head for at least a year or two by now and have been haunting me ever since so instead of skipping ahead to the parts that were really good in my opinion but would have made no sense without context i just told him to piss off i gues s

i dont know. i feel dumb. i feel stupid. ive put so much effort into this stuff and the concept that ive been wasting my time feels like too heavy of a weight to handle. god none of this porbobably nmakes any sense ,,,,,,,,, i guess this is why i feel miserable when the fanart and shitpost memes i post get a comically larger audience and attention than the art relating to my silly goofy ocs, because these stupid fucking characters are all thats keeping me going . call me cringe, but is it still cringe if the concept that maybe i too can be around people that love me and instead of having to like me in spite of my faults love me for them keeps me from fucking killing myself is it still cringe?

if a tree falls in a forest and no one's around, does its fall even make a sound? (shit piss fuck sorry i dont remember the original quote and all i can remember is tha t one line from that one musical i dont remember what it was)

if an autistic moron that cant even talk to a cashier without having a panic attack makes a universe full of fictional characters of his own cfreation then an alternate universe, then several alternate universes, then a spin off from that original universe and etc etc but its all just on google fucking docs and no where else except deleted excerpts from a dead wattpad account, did he ever even create anything at all?

its pointless. its all so fucking pointless. its a waste of time. why do i do this at all. its so fucking pointless. it makes no fucking sense. you cant just make a story with characters in it, then make a fucking fantasy au of that universe with the same characters but with different designs and wildly different personalities and then make a whole fucking complicated lore-filled story about the fantasy au version while the original universe's story is still left mostly unfinished like forget about a first draft of the text i havent even finished the first ddraft of the outline yet buckarooooooo

okay fuck you guys thats all i want to tell you im going to go pretend to myself to try to go to sleep and then cry now

[shuxiii]

merry christmas shu!!! 🤶🎄🦌☃️⭐🎁🎅🛷🥛🍪🌰

I just wanted to write something a bit more meaningful since it's christmas and I guess it's an appropriate day to say all of these things hahajahs

well first things first I wanted to wish you and your loved ones a wonderful and happy christmas!! I hope you get to enjoy this day to the fullest, eat the most yummy food and make great memories for the years to come!! I also hope that whatever traditions you and your loved ones have on christmas fills your heart full of that warmth and coziness only the joy of them can bring 😊

now buckle up because the cheesy words have only begun 😅

I'll try to keep it simple but I wanted to thank you for just being you and for gracing us with your incredible and heart-touching stories

I know I've only been an anon for a month or so now but I've been following you and reading your works for longer than that. I won't go much into detail because this is supposed to be happy and light but I was going through some stuff a few years back that I couldn't even write like I used to as a hobby (and coping mechanism) or even read stuff anymore. I actually haven't been using tumblr for almost two years before downloading it again this year. and then I discovered your blog pretty early on after being back again over here. I was already much better at the time but I was still taking my time with everything, but when I began reading your works it helped me more than I could've imagined. I was laughing, and feeling genuinely scared the characters wouldn't end up together and many other stuff and all of that was bringing such an immense comfort to me I was even shocked myself and so much so it even inspired me to write again! I managed to finish sixteen stories this year, which is like my biggest record ever because I would only manage to actually complete two or three per year. and it's all thanks to your amazing and inspiring work!!

you're also the first person I've send an ask to in all of my years here. I'm used to only reading silently while the authors interact with their readers but you're always so funny and light and the more I saw your interactions with everyone else the more I wanted to at least send in one ask to say how much I love your stuff. and when I did, you have always been so kind to me I couldn't help but keep coming back! it helped me get just a tiny bit more communicative in my life and I can say I've been better a jokes too because I swear you and your anons are so funny I've been keeping notes hahajahsjak

I feel like I said too much but didn't say much at all aaaaahdjdj, but I just wanted to thank you for being this amazing person and keep sharing with us your wonderful stories because you might not know, but they help people a lot. they're very entertaining and comforting and you're very kind and funny too 😊

so thank you for existing shu <3

I don't want this to be overwhelmingly long and I'm in the middle of nowhere, the reception here is horrible I'm scared this might not even send in on time 😅

so once again merry christmas shu!!! I hope your day is very happy and you enjoy it to the fullest!!

bye bye shu <3

- 🥟

I kid you not im sorry for the late reply because i was having a sad time in christmas so i couldn’t express my gratefulness to your ask but im so happy and this actually made me cry so much like i was crying out loud im so happy that i was ur inspiration and all ive never been so proud and happy LIKE i know i may say so little but this means more than the words i could ever describe and im sorry if it seems like i don’t appreciate it much but i really do! Thank you my dumpling 🙁🙁🙁mwa mwa love you!!

[freebooter4ever]

Are the lines on your drawings stylistic choices or are they measurement/guiding lines? Either way, they are cool, but just wondered. I dont understand drawing at all, might as well be a magic spell to me. I was looking at the pencil (?) sketch of Malkin with the cheesecutter hat on.

i, uh, definitely did not google 'cheesecutter hat' until after i saved out these images. :/ sorry about that. if you'd like the other one broken down, i can do that too lol. my reading comprehension when im tired is kinda lazy i just saw 'cheese' and imediately thought 'omelette'. SO here's the 1) initial sketch, 2) 'clean' sketch, and 3) final lines for the omelette boy drawing instead:

also i have had a cumulative of about 9 ish hrs of sleep total for the past two days so keep that in mind for if this explanation makes no sense, its not my fault. :( anyway! the way i draw definitely has changed over the years but currently im really trying to focus on the line i "see" rather than the one that is actually "there". i've been applying this to my writing for years (story vs happening truth) and you know it never occurred to me that i could do it in my drawings too till like...a few years ago. in general these lines seem to form the planes of the subject. if you google 'stanford bunny' you can find an easy example of a 3D surface turned into triangles. I do this too - see things in relative triangle proportions, except i've been doing it long before i knew how computers worked. i cant begin to tell you how long d*sney and cartooning's obsession with round building blocks of anatomical structure fucked with my brain until i finally decided i could cast that teaching aside completely.

ANYWAY sorry off subject again. so we have these sketchy under lines, and usually as im trying to find the proportions and form of the subject these lines end up being where the light/shadow hits. here i saved out the 1) 'flat colors', 2) the 'light', and 3) the 'shadow' parts on their own (i lightened the background for the 'shadow' so its easier to see):

the light is like four or five 'overlay' layers of pale yellow/orange. you can see how each of these layers follow one of those sketchy lines i did initially. and the same with the shadow but instead its a dark red color set to 'multiply' for each layer. and when you combine everything together you get:

some bullshit :). anyway you know that anniversary edition of beauty and the beast that featured the version previewed to nyc audiences in 1990 with the glen ke*ne sketchy keyframe animation of the beast's transformation? i watched that - must have been sometime after i graduated college - and i felt robbed that THAT version was never presented as a final piece. the 'unclean' drawings had so much more life and movement and intensity to them. tldr i like the messy lines, i hate 'inking' with a passion (HATE. IT.), and when i finally allowed myself to stop giving a fuck drawing became way more interesting. but my art is shit and i will never be glen k*ane so i dont really feel like the best advocate for this "style". alas. there was this one artist on tumblr who i fucking loved whose sketches were SPECTACULAR but the asshole racists in the m*c*ha*nz*o fandom bullied her off tumblr and ive never been able to find her art anywhere else since. she was also very negative about her 'unclean' sketches and it made me so sad. there was also this other artist whose sketches were awe inspiring but all she drew was p*rn and well...we all know what happened on tumblr in december 2018.

also i 100% stole the lighting scheme from The Bear which is currently one of the most gorgeous shows on television right now in my opinion

im really really sorry if this makes no sense, if im feeling motivated maybe i'll try again when my brain is fully functioning but with the actual 'cheesecutter hat' doodle ^_^