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bellasweetwriting · 4 years

Text

Memories

Jess Mariano x f.Reader

(not my gif)

masterlist

requests: “omg please please PLEASE do a jess mariano x reader with the enemies to lovers prompt that says “ive accepted my feelings now accept yours” i can’t remember the number lol but hope that helps!” -- holiwould

“ okay bet. jess mariano x reader except the reader feels like jess is kinda slipping out of control and away from her and she can’t keep fixing his mistakes and they maybe break up or something? idk ab the ending that up to you ” - holiwould

note: this is a mix between the two requests, the song Miss You by Louis Tomlinson, and When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars. If you haven’t heard them listen to them while you read

warnings: yelling, some trauma, most angst, kissing

word count: 2,3k

He was staring at your picture. Your hair was a little bit shorter than it is now. You were wearing this wine tone of lipstick that the employee of Sephora recommended to you. He remembered that time you kissed his cheek as he said goodbye just for him to walk six blocks with your lips marked on his face,

Damn, he missed you.

He missed your laughter, your suggestions for movie nights that always involved either Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling. So much you loved them, and he knew that; he was jealous of them even.

Could he drink his memories away? Damn it, he needed to erase you from his thoughts. Everything reminded him of you. Every song on the radio was about you.

His pride, his ego, his arrogance, caused you to walk away from him the moment he needed you the most.

"Jess!" You exclaimed as he lifted you up and threw you to the pool, jumping next. "Why did you do that?"

You were both staying at Jess's friend's house after a celebration party for your new book, which was just published. You and Jess went outside to the backyard and walked around the swimming pool when he decided it would be funny to throw you to the water.

After seeing you battle to get to the surface, he jumped too, holding his laughter until his head was above the water, staring at you with a big cocky smile.

You threw water and him while you took off your favorite shirt since you didn't want the chemicals of the pool to ruin it. You left it by the side of the swimming pool where just a few seconds ago you were standing unaware that you would end up in the water.

Jess glanced at you, not being able to ignore that your shirt was gone and your bra was visible. He smiled foolishly, not being able to help it.

"Stop looking at me, you horn dog," you exclaimed laughing, as you splashed him, Jess tossing water back at you. "Was this your master plan? To throw me to the pool in the middle of the night and froze me to death just to see my underwear?" He laughed even louder, and you couldn't help to join him, letting out a giggle. "You have no game, Mariano."

"You look just so darn cute when you are mad, Y/N," he said with that tone of his. His deep voice stumbled in your brain as you sat down on the edge of the swimming pool. He swam quickly in your direction, impulsing himself out of the water and sitting next to her. "Did the cold pass?"

"No, I'm just trying a new blue tone in my lips. Does it suit me?" You sarcastically asked as he stretched his arm and grabbed his jean jacket, covering your shoulders with it. "Oh, what a gentleman. Is this your new move, because I'm falling for it. I want you, I need you. Oh, baby, oh, baby." Jess chuckled as you simply rolled your eyes, putting on Jess's jacket correctly. "Aren't you cold, Cry-Baby Walker?"

"I've been worst. Those cold nights in New York City, only covered by a blanket and the constant screaming of the adults in the room at the end of the hall, were the coldest nights and roughest nights," he murmured before looking at you. You were shooked as you listened to him, but soonly upset when he started laughing. "You sometimes say a joke and never know if it is trauma until you see the look on people's faces."

"Asshole," you mumbled.

"Pretty," he replied, making you look at him. He slowly leaned in until he was close to your lips before whispering next to them, "I know a way to warm up." And with that, he kissed you gently, running his fingers through your wet hair, instantly warming you up.

"Hey, Jess!" Yelled some guy, grabbing the guy's attention.

Suddenly, he wasn't at that swimming pool anymore. He was at the bar again, filled with these stupid friends he made in this new city. If you saw him right now, you wouldn't even recognize him.

He was wearing a leather jacket and some old jeans, with an edition of The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand on his pocket, a book he wasn't able to finish yet. He had in his hands your photograph next to that old vintage restaurant three blocks away from where you work. You described it as that colorful coffee shop with strawberry smoothies and a cute place to read a book or spend time with people you care about.

"Mariano," his friend called him again, appearing with two glasses of beer and sitting next to the writer. "What are you doing crying over here? We are having a party in your honor, man. It is not an everyday thing that your books get a review on the Washington Post, and make it to the Best-Sellers list. What's up with you?"

"Today is her birthday." His friend looked at him, confused. The clock had just marked midnight. "It's her birthday, and I'm in fucking New York City, getting drunk with people I met three weeks ago and staring at a picture that was taken a year ago."

No matter what this strange guy that he calls friend just to lie at himself to hide that he is, in reality, alone would say. He missed you.

"Don't make so much noise, Mariano!" You yelled at him in a whisper, both of you watching their steps as they enter his apartment. "Your neighbors are trying to sleep."

"I feel so sorry for them already," was the reply you got from Jess as he closed the door behind him and started kissing you, leading your way to the couch. "Who could say that I would be making out little Y/N someday?"

"Did you just call me «little Y/N»?" You questioned, laughing between kisses. "Hey, so I was thinking..."

"Think, no talk," he interrupted you as both of you sat on the couch.

"Wait, it is important," you said again, making him give up and listen to you. "Ok, so tomorrow, as you know, is my birthday..."

"What?" Jess exclaimed. "You never told me it was your birthday tomorrow! Now, I'll have to cancel my plans. Wait a sec..."

You looked at him, confused. Plans?

"Jess, I told you tomorrow was my birthday, like five times. With whom did you make plans tomorrow?"

"Wel, Jack, Fred, and Gabs. We were going out to the movies or some. Let me call Fred and tell him."

"Gabs as in Gabriella? Your ex?" He nodded. "You could've told me."

"Why? She's ancient history, and you aren't my girlfriend."

You quickly stood up, making him look over his cellphone to you. You didn't look happy, you seemed really upset.

"What are we doing here, Jess?"

"What do you mean?"

"For how long have we been hooking up? A month? Six weeks?" He knew where this was going. "At what are we playing here?"

"I don't know. You want to be something serious, I don't understand."

"That is precisely the thing I'm talking about, Jess. You never know anything. You never communicate! You have no idea how to express yourself or even how to treat a person that cares about you."

Jess sighed.

"What do you want from me, Y/N, huh?"

"I want you to care for someone at least once, Jess! I want you to remember things like my birthday or my favorite things or the way I like my coffee because you want to remember; because you care about me. We aren't teenagers anymore, Jess! You are grown enough to know that relationships are built by communication."

The writer quickly stood up, ready to discuss.

"I care about you, Y/N!"

"No, you don't..." she whispered. "You can't even admit that you like me. That what you feel for me is more than making out because of boredom." He looked over to the big window with the view of Philadelphia. "Your birthday is on March 9th. You tend to forget to carry a pencil with you, and surprisingly, you are always in need of one, so I always carry one in my bag. When you meet someone, you stay extremely quiet while they talk and don't even say goodbye to them when you leave, and I've always told you that that is extremely rude, but you don't listen, you change the subject."

His eyes met yours, and he noticed the tears that were threatening to leave your eyes.

"You like french toasts," you continued, "but not with your coffee, so I always serve you orange juice when I make them for breakfast. Your eyes shine every time your uncle calls to tell you that he is doing fine because even if you don't admit it, you love him and appreciate him so much. And I remember all of those little details because I care about you, Jess. Hell, call me idiotic and girl for even thinking that maybe... I'm in love with you. But I'm worth more than this, Jess, I am. And if you can't see it, then it is no my problem. I am done trying just to release I am doing it alone. I've accepted my feelings, now accept yours. Bye, Jess."

And with that, you left.

"Then what are you doing here?" The guy asked Jess, dragging him away from his memories.

"What do you mean?" Jess asked.

"You are clearly not over this chick, you don't want to be in this party even though it is kinda in your honor, and it's her birthday. So, just leave. Go get her.

"How would I be certain she'll receive me with open arms?"

"You don't, man, that's the thing about love: you never know what is going to happen until you take the leap of faith."

He was right. He has always been scared of making the big jump. He has always been insecure about if anyone is going to be waiting to catch him. He couldn't keep making the same mistake over and over, he had to accept his feelings.

"I'm gonna go now. Thanks for the party, man."

Jess Mariano has never been more sure about something that what he was about to do. It was absurd. He was going to drive for an hour and a half in the middle of the night to Philadelphia. Yeah, sounded insane, but everything was about taking that leap of faith he was always scared to make.

But as soon as he hit the road, the doubts and questions hit his head like a train. What was he going to do? How would it end?

He was a writer. Every time he had an idea, the next thing that he knew was how it was going to end. You can't write a story without knowing the ending. But apparently, that was the only way of living it.

While he was driving to Philadelphia, you were sitting on your kitchen island, staring at that red velvet cupcake that held your single birthday candle. You were all alone, the same way you were your last birthday. You couldn't believe a year has passed since the last time you saw him.

You read that his book made the best-sellers list of the week. As soon as you read his name, the memories came back, as they have never left, they were just hiding inside a locked box waiting to come out.

Jess Mariano messed with your life in a way you could have never imagined. You were in love with him, and he never prooved you, he felt the same way with you. Jess wasn't even slipping away from you, you knew Jess always had a footstep out of the door, and you tried to ignore it, but it was almost impossible. Once he was in your life, he was in your life forever.

You blew the little candle, ate your cupcake, and went to sleep, not knowing that two hours later, you'll wake up by the sound of the doorbell. Who could be at two am in the morning? Your friends were going to come to prepare you breakfast, but a seven-hours head start was too much, even for them.

"What's going on?" You sleepily asked as you opened the door, looking at Jess standing there. "Mariano? What are you doing here?"

"Your headaches are provoked by strong smells. You ran away from home at 18, but I've seen you call your parents from now and then to check on them. Your eyes light up at the mention of sugar. You have this Victoria Secret perfume that you stole from your aunt, and you never used it, you just like to spray it on the air and inhale it, because she smelled like that and you miss her. You used to be addicted to gum, so much that your mom had prohibited you from ever buying it. You love watching people renovate their houses on HGTV, and you make plans on how you are going to remodel your place. You love strawberries covered in chocolate, and you cry at the movies. And I remember all of these, even if it has been a year because I care about you, Y/N. And I couldn't say it back then because I was scared, but now I'm not. Now, I am the guy for you. I know how much you are worth it, I knew since the day I met you." He took a deep breath. "Please, Y/N, let me prove it to you that I can be the guy you need."

What would you say if Jess Mariano was standing in your doorstep, begging for a second chance? I'm honestly asking.

#gilmore girls #fanfiction #y/n #angst #slow burn #jess mariano imagine #jess mariano x reader #jess mariano x y/n #jess mariano #literati #lorelai gilmore #rory gilmore #pov #fic #imagine #writing prompt

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windscattered · 3 years

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Previously

Orlando tensed, ready for sudden movements. Slowly, he looked to Daniel, to measure his reaction to figure out the next move.

Daniel looked horrified. His face had fallen pale and his posture was like a cornered animal’s. Just when Orlando thought he’d faint, his eyes slowly looked down and glazed over, his shoulders drooping in utter defeat.

Orlando decided to try and salvage this. “I am not sure what you’re thinking, but I’m here to just pick up some stuff…” Orlando hesitated. Should he use Daniel’s real name? “... he donated to charity,” Orlando said, putting on his just-a-regular-citizen voice. “Yesterday he donated a coffee maker and a microwave, today it’s some clothes he doesn’t wear anymore.”

The woman’s eyes snapped to Orlando and he immediately understood why Daniel looked so terrified. Her gaze felt like a hawk zeroing in on a mouse. “And who are you?”

Good thing Orlando had learned to mask his emotions from a young age. “My name is Basil. I work for Christine’s Shelter for the Homeless.”

The woman raised her eyebrows. “Mm. And you were here yesterday as well?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The woman smiled, sickeningly sweet and hiding a dangerous edge. “Interesting. And why did you feel the need to shut my security cameras off while you were here?”

Orlando put a confused look on his face. “The cameras? I… I’m afraid I have no idea what that’s about.”

She narrowed her eyes and stared at Orlando for a long time. “Leave,” she said coldly. “Or I’ll call the police on you.”

“Okay, sheesh,” Orlando said, pretending to be surprised and only slightly peeved. “No need to get so testy.” He left the house and let the brief disguise drop.

This was bad. If the woman was anything like Orlando knew abusive people to be, she would tighten her grip on Daniel now that she’s witnessed an escape attempt. Orlando did manage to play it off as something else, but he was fairly sure she hadn’t bought it. Only an idiot would have looked at the scene right at the front door and thought it was nothing but illicit. Orlando’s stomach twisted as he thought how the woman would treat Daniel from now on… He felt awful for having to leave Daniel there for one more day, but it was either that or risk getting arrested.

Orlando racked his brain for a new plan. Now he not only had to sneak Daniel out of the house, he had to make sure the woman wouldn’t track them down and find him again. Of course, it was surprisingly easy to disappear into the lower levels and be almost completely untracked. Orlando had an advantage in this, since he’s been trained since childhood to track other people while avoiding to be tracked himself.

The hardest part, however, would be getting Daniel and Fang out of the house… The only way Orlando saw how to do that was to wait until the woman was at work and then try again, while hoping it’d work this time.

Orlando sighed and rubbed his forehead.

As soon as Orlando got home, he texted Daniel, asking if he was okay and reassuring him he was willing to try again if he needed to. He didn’t get an answer in a few days.

On the third day, he finally got a response.

Daniel: Hey sorry for that

Orlando scrambled to reply as fast as he could.

Me: Don’t worry about it! Are you okay?

Daniel: This isnt delano tho sorry

Daniel: This is the guy with the mohawk do you remember me

Me: Oh, yes, I do

Daniel: My names adriano btw

Daniel: Anyway delanos… hes not fine

Daniel: Delanos like… idk how to describe it its like he gave up on escaping its like hes just going to accept that this is his life now

Daniel: Its scary as fuck dude

Daniel: Mom took his phone away like hes a teenager thats so fucking messed up

Daniel: I stole his phone back but he insisted i have it just in case

Daniel: Im fucking terrified moms literally holding him as a prisoner here

Daniel: I never knew mom could do something like this

Daniel: We cant stay here

Daniel: You gotta help us

The texts popped up one after another in rapid succession. Orlando waited until he was done.

Me: Okay. Let me make some things clear. Does Delano still want out?

Daniel: Idk man he’s so defeated

Daniel: Im going to drag him out tho

Daniel: My moms a psycho this place is killing him

Me: Alright. I’ll drag him out too, if you want me to

Daniel: Why is that even a question of course i want you to get us the fuck out of here

Daniel: Theres no way i can trust mom again now that ive seen what shes really like

Me: Of course. And you want to come along too?

Daniel: Yeah

Orlando frowned. Hiding two people and a dog might be tricky. But he would at least try.

Me: I’ll do what I can

Daniel: Delano said you need to talk to lillith

Orlando frowned. Lillith? The founder of the Sex Workers’ Union? The Queen of the Low Levels? Wait, why was Orlando surprised that Daniel knew her? Daniel was a sex worker, of course he would belong in the Union.

Contacting Lillith would be a good call, though. She was notoriously protective of sex workers. If they were lucky, she could help with this situation…

Me: I’ll do that. Thank you

Me: I’ll contact you when I have a plan

Me: Try to hold on until then

Daniel: Thank you

Daniel: Well do our best

Orlando had worked for Lillith a few times before, but he didn’t know her personally. He had to wonder if she would respond well to him asking a favour, as he wasn’t a part of the union. Figuring he had to at least try, he sent Lillith a text.

Me: Hello, Miss Lillith. I am contacting you today on behalf of one of your workers. He is currently held against his will by an abusive person and he needs help getting out. He and I both would appreciate your help.

Lillith took a short time to reply.

Miss Lilly: What’s the worker’s name? Do you have an address?

Me: I believe his name is Delano

Orlando also sent the address to her.

Miss Lilly: Jesus fucking christ

Miss Lilly: He just had to go piss of that bitch out of all people

Me: What do you mean?

Miss Lilly: It’s going to be bitch and a half busting him out, is what I mean

Miss Lilly: I’ve heard rumours that this woman has no chill

Orlando thought back when she had looked at him when he had been at her house. He could believe that.

Me: I am not surprised

Miss Lilly: Yeah. I need more info on the sitch. Can I text Delano? Does he have his phone?

Me: His phone is secured, but he doesn’t have access to it. You can text the number and get an answer, though

Miss Lilly: Wdym? Who has his phone?

Me: We can trust him. He’s also stuck in the house with Delano. We need to get him out as well

Miss Lilly: So there’s two people we need to get out?

Me: Two people and a dog

Miss Lilly: Hmm. It’s going to be tricky, but possible

Miss Lilly: How much stuff are they going to have?

Me: I got most of Delano’s stuff out, so only a little of his, but most of Adriano’s. I believe he has a guitar that he’s going to want to take along.

Me: Delano also has a broken arm at the moment

Miss Lilly: God damn

Miss Lilly: Okay. No panic. I have a plan

***

And so, a few days later, Orlando was headed back to the house, with four sex workers (Ana, Sara, Jessie and Rosa, as Orlando learned) sent by Lillith. “To help carry stuff,” one of them had explained. Orlando hadn’t complained.

“How do we know she won’t appear to interrupt us again?” Orlando asked, while the group were in an elevator, on their way to the upper levels.

“Lils got it,” Jessie said.

“If Lils says she got it, she got it,” Sara agreed.

“We trust Lils,” Rosa said with a nod.

Orlando nodded slowly. He supposed he should trust her too, then.

The group arrived at the house and put on masks that would scramble their faces on any cameras that caught them.

“Let’s go, girls,” Ana said with a grin. “And boy, I guess.”

The group marched to the door and rang the doorbell before Orlando could protest.

“Relax, we’re wearing masks,” Jessie said, waving her hand.

“Yes, but I’d still like to avoid getting caught on security cameras,” Orlando muttered as Rosa hammered the doorbell.

The door opened and Adriano was behind it, looking irritated. “For fuck’s sake, I heard you the fir…” he trailed off as Rosa and Ana screamed.

“Oh my gawd, you’re cuuute!”

Adriano flushed up to his ears, immediately matching his hair. He looked like he was panicking as his eyes landed on Orlando. “Be… BG?”

“It’s me,” Orlando said with a sheepish smile that Adriano didn’t even see. “I got some extra help with me this time.”

“Alright…” Adriano let the group in.

“Jesus christ, this place is fancy as shit,” Sara said as they stepped in.

“God daaaamn,” Ana breathed. “I wouldn’t mind switching places with Delano.”

“Why did you bring sex workers here?” Adriano whispered to Orlando.

“They’re here to help,” Orlando whispered back. “Be respectful.”

Daniel appeared and the girls screamed. “DELANOOOO!”

Daniel looked like a deer in the headlights as the girls rushed him, all talking over each other.

“Where have you been?”

“I missed youuu!”

“When did you get a sugar daddy?”

“Can I have him once you’re done with him?”

Adriano stared at this unfolding with utter disbelief.

Orlando clapped his hands to gain everyone’s attention. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but we’re on a schedule here.”

“Agreed,” Jessie said. “Let’s get a move on. We can talk while walking. Where’s your stuff?”

So the group dispersed to gather the luggage they needed, spiced with chaotic chattering from the girls.

“Can we steal something?”

“We should steal something!”

“I really don’t care if you do,” Adriano said.

“Oh shit, really?!” Rosa said, eyes wide. “I was just joking!”

“Go fucking nuts,” Adriano said, “cause as much grief to her as you can.”

The girls exchanged looks. “Let’s steal her shampoo!” They ran off. Adriano followed, for some reason.

“Jesus christ,” Delano sighed.

“Everything okay?” Orlando asked.

“Yeah,” Delano said. “Just overwhelmed. I haven’t even thought about sex work for the whole time I’ve been here. It all feels so distant now.”

Orlando nodded slowly. “Are you going to continue doing it once you’re free?”

Delano was quiet for a moment. Just as he drew a breath to answer, the girls and Adriano returned.

“Thanks for letting us rob your mom, sweetie,” Sara said, pinching Adriano’s cheek. “We don’t have to buy skincare for a few weeks now.”

Adriano was blushing again. “No problem.”

As the groups got ready to leave again, Orlando noticed that Delano freezed. “What’s wrong?”

Delano shifted his weight. “I… I just have a bad feeling, is all.”

Orlando nodded again. Last time they had gotten this far, their plan had failed at this same step.

“Don’t worry,” Jessie grinned, giving him a thumbs-up. “Lils said she’s making sure we’ll get to the lower levels safely.”

“Yeah, trust Lils,” Ana said.

Delano looked down at Fang on her leash, who was looking up at him, tail wagging. Finally, Delano nodded and looked back up at the group. “Let’s go.”

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gotatext · 4 years

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TASK OO1 / OOC SURVEY.

[kermit voice] hallo.... its me

YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — nora

AGE — 23

TIMEZONE — gmt

PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/her

MBTI — enfp-infp border cos im an introvert who Masquerades as an extrovert :)

HP HOUSE — i spent 10 yrs of my life thinkin i was gryffindor.... to find out.... huffle....puff......

ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — i fuckin wish! being a student was dope af i got stressed about essays like once a month and apart from that i was just chillin, surrounded by really intelligent people every day n livin it up on the party scene. adult life fucking sucks no one wants to have fun cos we all work fuckin tonnes of hours so we can afford to eat and get paid peanuts xx

ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — im really afraid of bein one of those jock types who peaked in high school but i deff peaked in uni like 100% i was way more interesting 2 years ago

LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — im not showin u my instagram bc im a fuckin embarassment but this is pinterest , this is my personal blog, this is my writing / 1x1 blog i never use any more n this is my trash talking twitter where i mostly just cry about timothee chalamet and bash the tories.

DISCORD USER — kristine’s forehead vein#8664

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — i dont read fanfiction much but when i do u can be sure it’s slow burn angsty enemies to lovers mutual pining heart attack every time one of them accidentally brushes the other’s hand

TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — suspiria (2018 luca guadagnino version rogue i kno but i prefer the remake), the lobster, before sunrise, baz luhrmann romeo + juliet, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, thoroughbreds (REC!! so underwatched pls watch it. compelling female characters), hunt for the wilderpeople (also so underwatched), swiss army man, call me by your name, atonement, moonrise kingdom, trainspotting, the florida project. i rlly like films ok

A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — the song of achilles by madeline miller n also fen by daisy johnson

A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — booksmart cos its fuckin dope

WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — libra

ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? — i like to pretend im super invested in it mostly to anger my friends but tbh.... i just use it as a rough guide for character creation.... its fun but i dnt .... fully invest in what it has to say..... altho i am the most unbalanced n indecisive bitch on earth so i guess they got that right !! i just live to please baybeyy!

WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — tumblr for about 8 year (omg) n before tht facebook..... i was very embarassingly in a twilight rp..... i wrote jane..... i also rped as a scene kid oc n when i was like 12 i was on some weird forum harry potter roleplay where i basically played a self insert with georgie henley as the fc......

WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? — i used to have so many hobbies but now i jst lie in my bed staring at the ceiling. but before i was workin like a dog i loved reading, writing, acting in theatre productions..... going out on the town getting bevved..... big druggy EDM nights in warehouses tht probably weren’t liscenced for tht many ppl..... gigs... costume-design and making, spoken word poetry, acrylic painting n rollerskating but my sister broke my skates abt two years ago in vengeance and i’ll never forgive her that fuckin bitch

HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! — no my landlord is a fascist

IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — i’ll never stop reccing euphoria!! also i was pleasantly surprised by looking for alaska!! but i also rlly like bob’s burgers, parks and rec, good omens.... black mirror, n sharp objects. lovesick on bbciplayer (n netflix i think) is also rlly fun

ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — maybe love island, idk if i talk abt that much bc i am ashamed but i am so obsessed with it. i even got the love island game n got so invested in my fictional relationship w bobby tht i had to delete it

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — god god... i haven’t finished a book in ages.... i recently started reading milkman by anna burns, the bees by laline paull and everything under by daisy johnson.... bt the last book i read cover to cover was probs circe. defs read it. feminist and witchy

CURRENTLY READING? — i jst said this but the bees, everything under and less so milkman cos im finding milkman a bit tough

LAST FILM? REC IT? — i watched ladyworld the lord of the flies all-female remake n even maya hawke could not save it.... dnt get me wrong from an art film point of view i loved it but it felt a bit underdeveloped n a level media studies for me..... apart from tht?? the runaways (yorkshire film not released yet at a preview screening) and threads (also a yorkshire film from the 80s about nuclear apocalypse)

THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — portrait of a lady on fire, i work at an independent cinema n we recently had a preview screening and everyone said it was SICK, uhhhh short term 12, n the new eliza scanlen movie babyteeth

WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — madagascar because when i was 12 my parents bought me a little television with a dvd player in it for my birthday and madagascar was the only dvd i owned for like..... the first two years of havin the absolute luxury of a tv in my room so i just used to watch it all the time n i now basically know the script inside out

WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — nothing, life is pointless n i hate fun, let me rot in peace

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — ughhh god probably lcd soundsystem. gorillaz, the streets, tame impala, talking heads, soft hair, i also love lizz tho n also angry twangy guitar girl bands like girlpool, courtney barnett, best coast, cherry glazerr,

WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — quiet night in my party days are over i cant even be bothered to go to the shops if its past 4.30pm and dark these days

ANY PHOBIAS? — clowns n rats

DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — absolutely not

BIRDS? — yes but not if they fly in my face

ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — i love both i want one

BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — tory middle aged boomers who treat me like actual shit on their shoe because i work in the service industry like thats my choice and their poor economic decisions didnt mean i have to do a shitty job to afford to live bcos of austerity n cuts to arts funding meaning i cant get a job writing unless i self-fund :)))

FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — that everyone ive met through rp is a fuckin LAFF

TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — god .... diana silvers, timothee chalamet, margaret qualley, kristine froseth, froy gutierrez, zendaya, elle fanning, astrid berges frisbey, hunter schafer, leonardo dicaprio

FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — herman tomeraas, hunter schafer, saoirse ronan, timothee chalamet, froy gutierrez

FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — linda mccartney 1/2pounder mozzarella veggie burgers, sweet potato wedges, tomato soup, mozzarella sticks, brownies

WORST FOOD? — green things like broccoli n sprouts gross. baked beans cos as a kid ppl used to do baked bean baths for comic relief / red nosed day a lot n i thought when they were finished in the baked bean bath they just put all the cold beans back in the tin. actually anything small that moves around on your plate. peas. spaghetti. sweetcorn. i dont like small things i cant control.

DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? — last year my housemate had an xbox n i went through a phase of obsessively playin fable 3 it was amazing. i had like 5 husbands and 3 wives and loads of kids but they all ended up leavin me cos i spent so much time out doing quests neglecting them

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — this

LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — im one of those bitches who was in this grp all the way back when it was swipe... so quirky and original!! i knew the band before u! anyway im goin now this has been sufficiently embarassing..... i am lame

#huntingtonooc #huntingtontask #huntingtontask001

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ireallydontunderstandpeopleatall · 2 years

Text

Thanksgiving 2021

I actually had a very good thanksgiving with everyone.

we started the day going to my uncle's house for thanksgiving meal #1. I saw my aunt and uncle and my other aunt and uncle and my mom and dad. the food was so good and it's always so good to see my uncle he is so kind and encouraging like the type of comforting family member you would want. I brought s'mores with me and he got to see the kids he grew up with and he was so happy to see them, im glad i brought him because he needed it, it's been a long time.I told him about my plans to buy another car. they let us take home food and we said our goodbyes. when we left the kids were upstairs so they didnt get a proper goodbye with smores but there will be next time. the came to the front door as we were backing out and i rolled down the window so they can see him.

we went to see Richard's family after. his brother's house, he lives about 40 minutes away. I met his brother and his wife once at their mom's house. they were nice.

i was really nervous to go to their house though because i get anxiety when i go anywhere that doesnt have people i am comfortable with and that is literally like 0 people. I havent held relationships long enough with people to be comfortable with them or have traditions outside of my family.

also i expected more people. i know his brother has 3 grown up kids and their SO might be there and maybe their friends? who knows and ive only met his brother and his wife and barely know them.

i tried to keep myself calm during the drive and although i was calm i was expecting myself to be calm in the car but my emotions do a 180 as soon as i walk in. but that didnt happen! halleluah.

we went inside and his nephew answered, i met him, we walked into the kitchen and it was just their family with one boyfriend AND richard's parents were there! i didn't expect them but his mom is so kind she is always so nice to me. i could have still been nervous but they were so welcoming. they introduced themselves by hugging, HUGGING ya'll and i was there for it. first his older niece, the wife, then the younger niece. they were all so nice and they made me feel so nice inside. i didn't get any looks i didnt feel out of place i didn't feel akward like where do i put myself. they met my son and his mom got to meet my son! she said he's so big =).

They met smores and they fell in love with him, i swear him and their yorkie were the star of the show. they were so cute together. we asked if i could bring my dog and they said yes and they meant it because they were so nice to him i really love it.

they showed me their awesome house and let us use their VR headset and it was so cool. the wife talked to me even when she struggled with words bc eng is her 2nd languarge.

the younger niece would include me in conversations and they all treated me like i was one of them. i felt so included.

i was also nervous with bringing my son bc i dont know how he would be at a friend's house cuz like i said i dont have any friends and idk if he would say or do anything that would be embarassing? i know thats fucked up and something im working on and this is another conversation. but he did really well, was chill and did his own thing. acted normal even though we're not normal hell i was worried i wouldnt act normal. nothing like scaring people away with my extra weirdness. maybe that's why im worried, im weird my son has to be weird like me to some extent and i dont want it to ruin the relationships in his life. sad but im not the coolest person in the world and i dont want him to end up like me. anyway the nephew was so sweet he did try to interact with my son, at one point showed him around and let him use the vr.

we had such a good time we were there for 5 hours! wow that's long i hate leaving my house for more than 2 hours but being able to bring my dog really helped so i didnt have to feel like he was at home waiting for me. they really let me feel like they would be ok with having us over again and i feel like i would feel good about going over again.

i saw a thanksgiving post at the beginning of my day today by an old best friend who is starting a new serious life with her new bf/ fiance/ soon to be baby daddy. and it said "thank you for bringing me into your beautiful family" and today i really felt that too. im so thankful for my boyfriend and his sweet family it's really refreshing and i hope to be apart of them for a long time.

only thing i would change today is wishing i had spent more time at my uncle's house i really miss him already.

night ya'll

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deeeelightfuldee · 3 years

Text

surveys 062.

What battery percentage is your phone on right now? It’s at 55%

Do any medical afflictions run in your family? Yeppppppppppp

Who did you last talk to and what did you say? i sent a comma to kile. I can’t communicate to him anymore but it’s kind of my way of saying I’m here presently and available to read your messages. it probably annoys him and I should stop.

What's your favourite Mexican dish? pork tacos from mama marias

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yes. many times.

How far do you live from New York City? uhhhhh google says 12.5 hours. not too bad.

How often do you talk to your parents? mom usually every day. dad maybe 2x a year

What was the weather like in your town today? lets google. it was 92 today

Are there any phrases or words that you say a lot? talk to me goose, comin’ in hot, that’s ridiculous, sup homie

How many boyfriends or girlfriends have you ever had? ehgghghg

Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? Yeah, many times.

What was the last movie you saw and who did you watch it with? serendipity

What's the name of your first real boyfriend or girlfriend? I would say John

Do you clean your ears daily? Not daily, but every couple days.

What accent do you have? midwestern.

What scent of air freshener do you keep in your bathroom? It varies. usually a tree scent of some sort

Have you ever dated a model? No.

What's the best job you've ever had? hmm. babysitting an infant for like 2 hours 3x a week and making like 260 bucks a week.

How about the worst? nannying for a family where the dad was constantly trying to hit on me.

Do you have naturally straight hair? No, pretty curly.

What is your ultimate goal in life? To continuously find beauty in every day

Have you ever visited someone in prison? nope

What months were you and your siblings born in? july, august, august, january

Do you write down your passwords in a physical place to prevent losing them? ahahhahahaha ummm a few of them. i am often in a “forgot your password?” situation

What are your three favourite vegetables? broccoli, cauliflower, potatoes

How many times a day do you check Facebook or any other social network? its SEVERELY decreased since not being on my phone with kile. looking at my phone usually brings me sadness, because i seldom have any word from him. so I just leave it alone.

When was the last time you had a blocked nose? idk.. 5-6 months ago

Who is your favourite comedian? I am not really sure, I dont follow many comedians

What colour are the socks you're wearing today? havent worn any yet

What did you have for dinner last night? steak

What was the last concert you went to? I want to say relient k

Are you an ugly crier? not really no

What scent is the soap or body wash you use in the shower? I’m on vacation so the scent is like a lavendarish scent which is not my style at all.

Have you ever had sex in/on a vehicle? kind of. -.- not by choice.

Who do you live with? mom & gram

What letter does your street name begin with? numbers

Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows? absolutely I do.

When was the last time you ate at McDonald's? A few weeks ago.

What's your favourite Popsicle flavour? blue

Who was the last person you sent a Facebook message to and what did you say? i havent got a clue. I never go on FB

Do you have any injuries at the moment? yes. one of which is my shoulder and its reallyyyyyyy bugging me

Have you ever been to an ophthalmologist? the eye dr i used to go to was both opthamologist and optometrist so yes

Do you own any animal print clothes? oh probably.

Are you tall, short or average? Would you change this? im tall. I would, maybe it’d be less off-putting to others

When was the last time you went to a drug store/pharmacy? gosh, like a week ago.

Do you ever binge-watch TV shows? just the same ones ive watched for years

Have you ever mustered up the courage to tell someone how you feel only to be rejected? uhhh, no I can’t say I have.

Do you keep your files and documents organised in one place? somewhat.

What's your favourite sweet treat to bake? my infamous cookies

Are you good at flirting and letting people know you're interested? ill be real honest, I am so slow to fall for someone that it takes some time for me.

What did you have for breakfast today? toast (gf) and eggs

Do you prefer sweet or savoury breakfasts? Sweet

Do you like chick-flicks? heck’n yea

Have you ever taken an acting class? no. not interested

When was the last time you watched one of your favourite movies? yesterday

How often do you use Youtube? seldom.

What's the coolest thing you've ever dressed up as for Halloween? i dont really do that.

Are you ignoring anyone right now? yeah :( </3

How do you usually style your hair? It’s always up in a messy bun. especially with the heat. but I might chop it off this fall idk.

Do you have any tattoos? Tell me about them. Nope. i wonder if kile will ever get his

Have you ever worked in a store while someone shoplifted there? more times than I could count.

When was the last time you used a stove? tonight with a GF zucchini pizza

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to eat? mushrooms

Are you sitting, standing or laying (or something else) right now? I’m laying on my bed.

How many hours per week do you typically work? --

What was the last pill or tablet you took? probably headache meds or tummy meds on the day of my flight

How far away from your house is the closest grocery store? like 1.4 miles

Have you ever lived in university/college campus housing? Nope.

Who was the last person you complimented? uhhh maybe a sibling

Are you the type of person to take naps, even if you've slept plenty? I WISH

Do you have a crush on anyone at the moment? im trying not to, but im not successful yet

The age old question: dogs or cats? STOP ASKING ME TO MAKE A DECISION ON THIS

When was the last time you saw your best friend? ugh. i don’t think ill ever see him. He sent me a picture today, it was really nice to see his face.

Have you ever been fired from a job? Why? nope.

Are you tired right now? eh, not terribly.

Do you like spring rolls? I do.

What do you live on in terms of a street, road, crescent, place, court etc? street

How many purses or handbags do you own? like 5

Do you get along with all your aunts and uncles? no. some of them I never ever developed relationships with because their parents hated my dad.

Have you ever eavesdropped and heard something you didn't want to hear? Yeah gahhhh i hate that

When was the last time you used a pen, pencil or marker? uhhh yesterday I think

What's your favourite type of curry? None.

Do you often go to do or say something and then just forget? not often

Have you ever had casual sex? Noooooooo. not my thing

What was the last thing you paid for with cash? clothes

What's the last letter of your middle name? h

If your phone rang right now from a number you don't know, would you answer? Nope. I hardly answer for numbers I know

How long is your hair? middle of my back

What was your first pet's name and how did you pick that? Millie. I didn’t have anything to do with that, I was a baby.

Do you drink diet or regular soda? diet. I don’t like the taste of regular.

Have you ever been to Europe? No, but I’d love to go.

Do you worry about your own health? I try not to.

Who did you last make plans with, and what plans did you make? family.

Can you smell anything right now? Not at the moment, no

How old were you when you got your first cell phone? I was 18 or 19

When was the last time you bought a pair of shoes? ooo boy, its been a minute. I need new shoes, and I also need to get rid of old shoes.

Do you like fruit and vegetable combo juices? not at all. maybe I need to revisit them.

Have you ever been on a spring break trip? Yep yep

Would you rather be warmer or colder right now? colder always.

How tall are your highest heels? I have like 4″ heels but I shouldn’t be wearing them anymore

What's your favourite flavour of frosting? omfg i want frosting so bad. any flavor

When did you wake up today? I fell asleep around 430am and then woke up around 545 my time.

Do you change your appearance often? I mean, hair color yeah.

What colour are the street signs in your town/suburb? Green

How many people do you work with? --

What was the last thing you ate? piece of chocolate.

Do you have any plans for three hours in the future? either this or sleeping

Has anyone ever made a comment about your weight that offended or upset you? people have definitely made comments about my weight before. just leave me aloneeeeeeeeee.

---- i wish i really was the most important thing on the planet to you. :( maybe then you’d have picked me? </3

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shippingterribleships · 6 years

Note

1~96 ™

All My Asks I Answered On My Blog Deleted, So I Decided To Make An Ask Meme Thingyy.(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or ClosedWho the fuck sleeps with it open (2) Do You Have Freckles?Yep(3) Can You Whistle?Nope(4) Last Song You Listened To.Adams song(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?Black and red (6) Relationship Status.Happily in a relationship with my beautiful girl friend (7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?To fucking cold (25°)(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?Yeet(9) How Many Followers?(10) Zodiac Sign.Gemini(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?Blue(12) Take A Vitamin Daily? Nah(13) Do You Sing In The Shower? When im home alone (14) What Books Are You Reading?I haven't read a book in months unfortunately, I read fanfic tho(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.(16) Favourite Anime?Death note (17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of? (18) Do You Collect Anything?Rocks, knives , figurens(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?Nothing (20) Do You Dance In The Car?(21) Favourite Animal?(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?Sometimes (23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?Whenever I fall asleep (24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?Nah(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?Pool(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?@partofthisinternetworld(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?Filtered (28) What Makes You Happy?Talking to @partofthisinternetworld or my girlfriend (29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? Or(31) Dogs Or Cats?Why not both(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? FLESH(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.Whatever's avaible (34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean? Ehhhhh(35) Do You Believe In Magic? Fuck yeah (36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?Grey and red (37) Can You Curl Your Tongue? Nah(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It? Kinda both (39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You? Nope(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? My friends (41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? Yep(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? Kinda I guess (43) Do You Have Strange Dreams? Yep(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes? Nipe(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry. 'monsters inc'(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds? Eh(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?My chemical romance (48) Are You A Picky Eater? Eh(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper? Eh(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning? Terrified of thunder (51) Do You Like To Read / Write?Yeah, but I'm not good at it(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud? Yep(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? Both (54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?'Smile'(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)Cold(56) What Are You Craving Right Now? Companionship(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.(58) What Is Your Gender?Constant depression(59) Coffee Or Tea?Depends on my mood(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?Too godamed much (61) What Is Your Sexuality?Anyone who shows me attention and isn't a dick(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?Nah(63) Favourite Pokemon?Ghastly or unknown (64) Favourite Social Media?Tumblr(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?Idk what they are?(66) Do You Get Homesick?Kinda(67) Are You A Virgin?I mean , not dick wise, but a girl ate me out once (68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?The cheap kind(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?Depends if im alone or not(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? Eh(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? Eh(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?Yeah, I still love her. But my mom made it impossible to actually be together (73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?'Sometimes you just gotta fake it till you make it'(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? Brown(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? Fuck yeah(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate? I don't remember (77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?I got fanfic apps(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?Yeah, everyone deserves to live. Treat people how you want to be treated . or in others words , don't be a dick(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight? Yep(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network? I stalk @partofthisinternetworld Tumblr sometimes (81) Do You Like Meeting New People? Kinda (82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.I will in another post (83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?If its open the monsters can get in you fool(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?Work, take a shower, make brownies (85) What Do You Wear To Bed? Nothing(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.Uhh, I have cosplay makeup and lotion?(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?Or(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.Portal 2Borderlands the pre sequelFallout new VegasFallout 4Tony hawk skate proAnimal crossing new leaf(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.I had a dream where captain hook tried to kill me with a canon ball when I was like five (90) Favourite Soda Drink?Rootbeer(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?Cats purr/ cat sounds in general(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?Jeans during the day and sweats as soon as I get home (93) How Do You Look Right Now?The same sweatpants and 'gone crabbin' shirt ive worn for the past few days (94) Name Something That Relaxes YouMy hair being played with/ listening to my cat purr(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?A semi colin on my wrist(96) Favourite YouTuber?Game grumps or Cryotic

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thataspdfeel · 7 years

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I'm curious, what are you most attracted to in your partners? Is it similar traits in all of them or different ones like their sense of humour etc.? Sorry if this is a weird question but you've said before you like when people ask about them so I thought I would.

i was so excited to get this and then forgot to answer it :/ im an idiot

also gonna put this under a cut cause this is gonna be hella long cause im a fucking romantic dork

god though i could wax poetic. they’re all so lovely. like they have traits in common but also are unique. they all have brown eyes but theyre unique. like my husband has these eyes that remind me of warm chocolate. like a chocolate fountain kind of warm chocolate. dark and smooth but reflect the light. my wife’s have tinges of gold in the irises like flecks of gold leaf. and theres a dark ring around the pupil and one around the edge of the iris. theyre fucking magical

my boyfriend’s eyes are almost black and very deep. darker than the night sky and full of warmth and mischief. but its like theyre never ending, like he can see the innermost parts of whoever he’s looking at, like your soul is written on your forehead

lmao i love eyes can you tell

they all have these goddamned sinful eyelashes and my boyfriend’s are the longest. theyre as dark as his eyes and when he’s embarrassed, he gets all shy and they brush against his cheekbones like how dare you sir. how dare you be beautiful even when youre embarrassed. i look like a fucking tomato. rude

my husband’s look gold at the tips with the way the light catches them. like yknow how fake eyelashes have purple or red at the tips? like that except gold. like what??? the fuck??? rude

they all have very soft hair though my boyfriend’s is the longest. i cant wait to get with him irl again cause i wanna braid it. he’s got a bony face and it frames it so well. it’s so dark brown its almost black and it’s fun to see him try to sweep it out of his face cause he refuses to tie it up

my husband has these wild curls. we were looking up how to take care of them and that’s how we found out hes ethnically jewish. (which makes sense considering he’s german) they get so thick and heavy and they’re so soft and lovely to nap in. which i do on a semi regular basis. its so soft and lovely and i love when he grows it out. he just doesn’t look right with shorter hair. and he has this beard that grows funny, makes him look like jedidiah if yknow what i mean. he has such a baby face without it and he loves beard scritches it’s so cute how happy he gets

bluh im bouncing all over the place i just??? love them?????? so??????????? much???????????????? there’s so much to talk about!!!

so i guess i’ll just try and make a list of the things i love about them

husband:

cheerful, bubbly, very sunny personality. the human incarnation of a very excited dog (which can be A Lot sometimes)

extremely kind. would give you the shirt off his back. often laments that he stopped carrying cash years ago every time he sees somebody who could use some despite the fact that we’re always broke

a proper southern gentleman??? like im fat so im used to people not holding doors open for me fucking ever and being really goddamned rude in general. he ALWAYS holds doors open for me, opens the car door for me both to get in and out of the car, and gets pouty if i try and carry my own bag. it’s so sweet??? ive literally never had that before and even after three and a half years, it’s still so charming

he will do literally anything the fuck i ask. he’ll say no and im like oh ok and he’ll tease like “finally! i said no! and got away with it!” just to make me giggle and then does it anyway

on this note, he also always cooks as much as absolutely possible. even though his spine gives him problems, he does his best to keep me off my leg

he’s always so concerned about my well being. like if there’s not a disability cart at the front of a store, he makes me sit down while he goes and chases one down. if im stiffer than usual due to a cold front, he’ll remind me to take pain meds every four hours

he’s trying to learn japanese because he knows i dont have anybody to practice with here in the states. just for me and not any other reason

adores animals. even if he finds a dog annoying, he’ll still fawn over it and give it as many pets as it wants and won't ever snap at it even if anybody else would. he’s got these large hands and he’s kind of clumsy but this goes away around animals. he’s just so careful and gentle like i never ever worry

drags me out of my introverted cave because he knows social interaction is also good

has introduced me to some of my favorite books and video games because he’s verious conscious about what somebody likes and works to be like “hey, i think youd like this” and is almost always correct??? amazing

has 0 sense of style but doesnt mind somebody who knows better keeping him from absolute disaster

dude is a damned good cook. ive gained like at least a solid 25 pounds since he moved in and started cooking regularly

SPEAKING OF COOKING, we met on the tail end of my anorexia when i was doing my best to recover and still slipping up. he never made me feel bad about it but always encouraged me to eat. he eats SO much (think shaggy rogers) that i always felt comfortable eating in front of him. he always reminds me to eat and asks if ive eaten that day. honestly, i wouldnt be at this level of recovery if it hadnt been for him

is amazing at caling me down holy fuck

wife:

met her first, of the three of them, ironically so ive known her the longest but been with her the shortest. we dated a few months in hs but there was a chick she wanted to date like right there (and i was in japan) so i was like oh go for it. well, they broke up and we got back together and it’s been lovely ever since

she has this snorting laugh that’s adorable to listen to and it makes me feel more comfortable laughing (because i think i sound like a damn goose)

SHE HAS SO MANY GODDAMNED FRECKLES ON HER CUTE LITTLE FACE THEY’RE ADORABLE AND AMAZING AND VERY FUN TO KISS BECAUSE SHE SQUIRMS

she has a goddamned button nose for chrissakes

and these really wide hips too like i felt bad about my hips years ago cause theyre p wide but shes adorable and has wide hips too. she kinda made me love them (even though hers are better)

she’s genderfluid so i get to be gay all across the gender spectrum (im agender) and she’s so beautiful and handsome and v amazing

we were both homestuck fans at the height of it (like we still are) but her cosplays are just really well done??? shes so talented

OH MY GOD SHE MAKES THIE CHICKEN SOUP WITH HOMEMADE NOODLES I WOULD SLAP AN OLD LADY FOR

i dont know about the rest of her cooking (sadly) due to limited time around each other but i cant fucking wait tbh. her cookies kill me tho i love them

an amazing fashion sense. im a dumpster compared to her

an amazing writer and artist and i die every time she sends me something like my soul fucking ascends

she loved me BEFORE meds which i think is amazing. like what a lovely human being yknow? im a dick without meds and she loved me anyway and i love that about her

she speaks german and she makes it sound beautiful and i cry

her singing voice is so angelic and it kills me when she sings because everybody should hear this lovely person sing

she is hyper empathetic and it makes her so lovely and kind and wonderful. she completely understands how i feel about things and why even when no one else does and is very good at de-escalating me when im upset

we’ve just known each other for something like 7 years now? like i dated her post my abusive ex and she lit up my whole world with happiness at being treated well. then her ex was abusive and just... we get each other? in a way where her husband and my other two partners dont. its a pain the others dont understand so we go to each other during these times of pain in a way we cant with other people. it’s a very special connection

she’s a goddamned goof and i love it

my boyfriend:

motherfucker is so skinny which is the opposite of me and for some reason it works?? idk like it worries me but it’s also unique. love it

we dated almost my whole senior year of hs but he broke up with me because he thought he didnt have the same depth of emotion as i did for him and didnt want to “hold me back” from somebody better. like??? can you imagine?????? how fucking kind

recently started dating again like it took him fourish years for him to realize SHIT I MADE A MISTAKE so he’s a little slow but he’s so very thoughtful

he’s a goof in a different way than the other two. dad jokes. never ending fucking dad jokes. and goddamned puns. he never stops. dont tell him i love them because then he’ll never let me tease him again (i pretend like its The Worst)

so. fucking. dramatic. always flips his hair in the sassiest way possible. its super gay (he’s bi)

he doesnt do a whole lot of romance or saying WHY he feels certain ways. he feels like it cheapens the emotion. but, on the rare occassion he doesnt let this bother him, his poetry he sends me about how he feels makes me fucking cry. it’s so beautiful. i love it

he works watering at a plant nursery and complains about how the bees always use him as a landing strip. it’s adorable

he’s so resourceful?? this is best seen when playing minecraft cause he makes some damn cool structures in some really nice places. i love playing it with him just to see what he builds and how (especially since im a boring, lets make this house a square kinda ho)

he’s so camera shy??? no selfies no skype at all. he’s so bashful and it’s super cute i love it

got me into DnD like yes thank you for this enjoyable nerdery

the sole reason i passed math in hs. like not only is he smart but hes also really good at explaining things to people? definitely a talent for teaching people things

he was my best friend for the longest time like all three of them are my best friend but he was the only one who was my best friend FIRST and then romance blossomed

like im demiromantic so i need a strong connection to fall in love like it was a solid few months of dating my husband before i began to love him. i knew my wife for awhile and got close so same general story. but my boyfriend and i were more friends to lovers and i love that about him

his dad is half italian so he talks with his hands and it’s so overdramatic that he hits people with them on a semi regular basis just gesturing. he once accidentally knocked my glasses all the way across a room cause i had walked behind him and he made a sweeping gesture. hilarious

one time, i had food poisoning and the pain was so bad, i had to crawl under his kitchen table until my mother came to take me to the base clinic. he sat with my head in his lap and brushed my hair out of my face and cooed gently at me to try and soothe me. it was so sweet and ive never forgotten about it

motherfucker, with the help of my sister, dragged me into homestuck

he’s so damn shy about affection that holdling his hand in public makes him blush. it’s even worse if i steal a kiss. fucking adorable

things all three have in common that i love:

good in bed. it sounds silly but this is important to me because while i dont necessarily need sex to form a close relationship to fall in love, it definitely helps

idk how this happened, i really dont, but somehow everything i like lines up nicely with everything they like??? and if im not into something, they can find it with each other and vise versa. lmao wtf how did this happen to line up idk

kind, generous, sweet, and helpful although all three show these qualities in different ways despite having them in common

love me??? like honestly it sounds so silly that id love that they love me but im such a flawed, terrible human being that it leaves me in deep awe that not only does one person love me but three??? how??? amazing people to find something in me to love and to keep on loving despite all my problems. beautiful

creative, smart, and inventive each in their own right. they fucking astound me and take my breath away

beautiful cuddlers (not being sarcastic, promise)

husband is a goddamned heater but boyfriend is a living block of ice. then wife is one of those who’s in between but she steals your heat and then hours later gives it back which is the worse option of the three. like it starts out all nice but then you end up surprised hours later because youre fucking dying of heatstroke

so we have two heatstroke, drowning in sweat options and then losing your limbs. it makes trying to set the thermostat a fucking nightmare

they all love to read and honestly? i couldnt be with anyone who doesnt like a good book

can hold lively, in depth discussions about things

hubby tends to lean more towards “would it be immoral to fuck a succubus” type morality questions and superhero dissection type things

wife is all over the place and can carry on a conversation about goddamned teapots if she so chose. no idea how she does it

boyfriend likes to entertain more morbid thoughts and psychology but also likes to analyze things. like homestuck. we still fucking dissect homestuck

very intelligent. blows my dumb ass out of the water. beautiful

like gaming various amounts and various kinds of games. hubs likes any and all. boyfriend likes dnd, monster hunter, minecraft etc kinds of things, not really one for cards or board games. wife prefers to craft but will occasionally engage in board games or cards, less so in video games but tends to stick to pokemon. it’s nice

they’re all very physically beautiful though in different ways. hubby is barrel chested and german with very strong arms and big hands, a bright and sunny smile. wife is small and round with tiny, artist hands and a sweet, pixie face. boyfriend is thin, long, and gaunt with pale skin and dark hair (kind of like damien from dream daddy tbh)

i could go on but ive been making this post for like well over two hours now and i figured maybe i should stop. it’s long as hell and idk if anybody else would have read this whole thing but basically i fucking adore my partners??? so much??? and there are so many things about them to love???

i just love them so much and could go on and on for hours about why i love each of them and how lovely they are and how they make me feel

ksdjrfgh im so sorry this is so long theres just so much to talk about //sweats

#mod vann #long post #text heavy #like this is obscenely long lmao #im so sorry #Anonymous #anon #vannswers

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horror-sc0pe · 7 years

Text

People are the way they are for a reason. I'm paranoid, anxious, insecure, and lonely. There hasnt been a lot of times that anyone made me feel secure and safe with myself or them.

It wasnt fun spending 2nd - 6th grade hearing how big my teeth were and how weird I was for liking anime, and that wouldn't have been too bad if it didn't adapt into something worse.

It wasnt fun spending 7th - 12th grade upgrading the teasing to harassment. " You look like a horse" "You're fake and your boyfriend is using you" "Whats wrong with your face" "You look like a holocaust victim"

Its not fun when your first boyfriend is cheating on you, multiple times with multiple people, but you're hearing it from his brothers friends who are being dicks just to fuck things up, or hearing it on formspring where everyone else was already spewing negative things. Its not fun when someone finally steps up and sends you screenshots of proof and you just wasted a year thinking it was his brothers friends, when you find out after things are true. And it wasnt fun having his mom call me and my mom sluts or rude bc we treated him better than she did and she was jealous. It wasnt fun when she only allowed him to see me outside of school, once or twice a month and in that time all he did was try to touch me and force things on me after I said no and wasnt ready.

Its not fun when the week you and your second boyfriend get together, hes kicked out of his house to go live in maryland and in that month 1/2 time, you only see him for a week before he changes his tumblr name to the name of another girl and breaks up with you after.

Its not fun when your 3rd boyfriend doesnt let you break up with them because you were ambushed by him right after you got rejected and made you feel wanted when you previously didnt, then realize the mistake and try to be truthful, but he wont let you. Then starts taking his anger out on you by saying everything you like is dumb and treats you like a dog. Literally. And when he finally lets the break up happen, stalks you for the next year, contacting your friends, or have strangers message you, shows up in public places, and letters begging for you back, and that theres nothing left to live for. It definitely didnt make you feel guilty and anxious because you did make a mistake, but you also tried to end it in the beginning.

Its not fun when your 4th boyfriend actually gets contacted the second your relationship status goes up with a threat from the 3rd boyfriend saying that he's gonna get you back. Its not fun when your 4th boyfriend tells you he has cancer, he's adopted, and he's been sexually abused. Will text you in the middle of the night saying he took a bunch of pills because he was trying to kill himself. Sexually abuse you. Tell his friends that you tell him to starve himself (when it never happened), attacked you online, and lets his friends do the same. Its not fun when he says hes going to the hospital for surgery the exact day you asked him to hang out and a half assed aplogy months later.

Its not fun when your 5th boyfriend is actually the best you've had, but his (ex) best friend spends a year giving him ultimatums, writing on twitter that you're in love with someone else, you killed his cat, you're only with him for money, calling your store asking for you, you can overdose on all the pills you're taking for your "fake" anxiety, you're a cunt and she knows where you live. Its not fun when you feel like you're the reason he's having a hard time bc he's put in the situation too and neither of you can do anything about it. When all you did was exist and its hard to enjoy a relationship when its being ripped apart (even though lies) online, constantly.

Its not fun losing all your friends in a couple of months. Getting your face put on a horses. Told that you're gonna be recorded running with retarded horse music in the background. Having someone you care about attempt suicide. Being 'neighed' at in the mall or at school. Even saying you have anxiety and others telling you "yeah well I deal with this, this and this and have anxiety but I can do it, you're being immature" doesn't make anything feel good. Ive already written so much and its amazing how much more is left that I didnt say. Yikes.

I repeat this so many times. I keep saying it over and over. Ive told a lot of people. But it's never satisfying. I never feel heard enough. That's just another me problem. Im on medications now, I have friends now, I'm older now, and yet I have such a hard time moving forward. When I take a step in the right direction, I have a panic attack and feel even worse about myself. I tried going to school for cosmetology, 2 months in and I found myself in the bathroom crying, holding my knees and texting my mom to get me out of there. Same with a job. And every time I break down, I just stay there bc whenever I take a step, its gonna go backwards again. I'm not an adult. I'm barely a person. Why do I constantly feel like my experiences need to be heard. No one gives a fuck they all have their own problems. Its not anything new, this already happened, people have it worse and raise so much higher than I can. Even hanging out with friends my nervous system feels overwhelmed after a couple of hours. OH WAIT I KNOW IVE SAID THAT IN OTHER POSTS TOO. Well aren't I just a special snowflake. Best part is I don't even know how to build a wall around myself to keep my emotions protected till someone breaks it down. I really dont know how to do it. Life's a mess. Idk how people get places successfully.

#rant

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ivis-00 · 6 years

Text

I’m bored so here

Credits got to @booknrd and @redqueenfandom

Tag is here: https://booknrd.tumblr.com/post/169439591221/this-is-the-most-unique-one-ive-seen-please-yes

1)I don’t have iTunes so I just played my daily mix on Spotify on shuffle:

Body Gold by Oh Wonder

I Still Wait For You by XYLØ

Down in Flames by Ella Vos

We Won’t by Jaymes Young

Superstar by Broods

Phase Me Out by VÉRITÉ

2)My nephew. It’s been a year or so since he was born and I still have yet to see him in person.

3)Book: Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales and Poems, Short Story: ‘The Unparalleled Adventure of One Hans Pfaaall’, Quote: “April 8th.”

4)That’s a bit of a tough question. I guess it’s usually either my future (I’m a high school senior) and whether or not I’ll ever amount to anything, or about the state of the world (all the things going wrong, how we could have prevented or fixed them, etc.).

5)Lol no I’m not that special

6)Is being scared of just dragonflies a phobia? Like I know it’s pretty silly especially since dragonflies aren’t aggressive or anything but idk it’s a childhood trauma thing that I never got over. I’m less scared of them as the tears go by but still it gives me the creeps.

7)Don’t have one, but I’m very interested in learning about other’s religions.

8)Chilling. Just enjoying the fresh air. Maybe reading. But since it’s always hot here, I rarely go outside of my own accord. I hate the heat.

9)I’m just going to assume this means Western band: Panic! at the Disco

10)That I was gonna go back to sleep but I actually stayed up until 4am.

11)Yes and no. It’s a bit weird. Sometimes karma works magic, and other times it’s nonexistent. I don’t know whether to really believe it’s a thing or not.

12)It’s literally just my middle name and ‘the-fangirl’ written after it. It’s pretty self-explanatory. 👍

13)Greatest weakness is self-doubt. It’s stops me from doing a lot of the things I want to do. Strength is my stubbornness. I know that’s really contradictory, but once my mind is set on something, it’s very hard to convince otherwise.

14)I’m supposed to choose just 1? Cause that’s basically impossible. I’m just gonna day Jungkook from BTS cause he’s my ultimate bias (I know, how basic of me). Gotta represent my man y’all. But if I were to choose a female celebrity crush, for sure I’d say Halsey. Like damn.

15)For me, I always feel like taking out my anger physically through hitting and breaking objects (so that I don’t harm a anybody), or through screaming at the top of my lungs. It helps dispel all that energy so I’m too tired to even think about what I was mad about. But my Hispanic household is very strict on these types of things and I’ve pretty much had to force myself to adopt a passive-aggressive method of dealing with my anger. Just thinking of this makes me mad cause there’s so many things I’ve had to put up with in my family because I can’t express my anger to a figure of authority (since it’s seen as disrespect).

16)I used to have a seashell collection, but now I just collect books and like little memorabilia from different places and events that I feel have left some sort of mark on me.

17)No. I haven’t exactly accomplished any of my long-term goals. I’m pretty stuck since I don’t have complete control of my life with my mother always breathing down my neck.

18)I hate loud talking in quiet spaces, or even just senseless yelling. Many of my family members tend to yell as they’re “talking” on the phone whether they people involved in the conversation are hard of hearing or not. But I’m the bright side, I love the sound of rain and luckily for me, it tends to rain pretty often here (unfortunately that also means it gets really humid).

19)What if all my efforts amount to nothing?

20)I’ve never really seen any conclusive evidence that ghosts exist, so for right now it’s a bit of a middle point for me. Since we don’t exactly knows what happens after death either, there’s still the chance that ghosts can exist. Aliens is something I’m more open about. In a universe so big, I find it difficult to believe we’re the only living things in it. Aliens exist, but we just haven’t found them and they might have not found us. That’s just my personal take on it.

21)Right arm: my nightstand; Left arm: air

22)Coffee.

23)Any one of my family parties (except the one where I ended up winning 8 consecutive games of domino, that was awesome). Or even just a party with people I don’t know. Just parties.

24) 1-Brendon Urie. I just think he’s such a beautiful and genuine person. You don’t find many people that give off the good vibe he does. I admire is vocal skills like crazy, but I’m mainly drawn in by his personality. You can see that he really does care about his fans and appreciates everything they do for him. And he’s not bad on the eyes either. 2-Troye Sivan. He’s another individual that I find beautiful inside and out. His voice is so soothing and he has such a relaxing aura about him that I really like. And the blonde hair works for him like wow, end me. 3-Patrick Stump. Now some people (I’ll fight you), might disagree with my opinion since he’s put on some weight. I’m the kind of person that can find anybody attractive so long as they have a great personality. Patrick, to me, is a gorgeous human being and the fact that he’s chubby doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I find his cheeks to be adorable (which is odd coming from someone younger than him, but bear with me). It’s also comforting seeing someone that’s like me: not your everyday image of a perfect celebrity/person. He’s just an amazing person and I really admire him.

25)To become the best version of ourselves we can possibly be, and to serve others.

26)I’ve finally got my learners permit but I have yet to actually sit in front of the wheel. I’m a bit terrified considering the area I live in isn’t the safest place to drive.

27)I don’t remember the name but I know it was a movie about two lonely elderly people (a man and woman) who find comfort in each other’s company. It was really cute.

28)A broken arm when I was like a couple months to a year old. Not gonna get into details but just know that it was a long ass time ago and I haven’t severely injured myself since.

29)Webtoons

30)Not really.

31)Takes too much energy so no. Doesn’t mean I forget, though.

32)Pisces

33)A ticket to my school’s lip sync battle (students vs teachers). It was definitely worth it.

34)Why not both? 😉 (I lean slightly more towards love, but eh.)

35)No

36)A real, genuine relationship? One.

37)For guys and girls it’s different for me. I’m more shy around guys that I have a real interest in and tend to avoid them at all costs. So I’ve never actually been in a relationship with a guy. I’m slightly more forward with girls. In the end, I’m not too sure what kind of “secret weapon” I have since I’m pretty socially awkward and not typically seen as dating material.

38) My best friends are at their houses being just as unproductive as me.

39) Watching YouTube videos. I can’t even remember which ones.

40) If you’re looking for somebody that’s very spontaneous and blunt, I’m your gal. If not, keep walking. I like to think I’d be friends with me since I find similar qualities that I have in my friends (though that’s not to say I want my friends to be just like me; I need people with differing views to keep me grounded).

41) Fuck the job, I’m saving the dog. And if my boss had even the slightest bit of compassion, he’d understand why I was late.

42) I would tell the people closest to me (my mom, select friends, etc.). But I’d insist they not treat me any differently than if I were completely fine and not dying. I’d spend my remaining days just having fun and doing all the things I’ve ever wanted to do. If I have a month to live, I’m not gonna waste it moping and crying over my mortality. I would like to think that I wouldn’t be scared. Everyone dies at some point, some sooner than others. As long as I am willing to live my last days to their fullest, I’ll be fine with dying.

43) Heavy by Oh Wonder

44) Proper communication. If you don’t talk, then how are you going to work out problems and get anything done?

45) Just be genuine. I hate fake people. That being said, if your genuine self is disrespectful and mean-spirited, I want absolutely nothing to do with you.

46) I like to think it does since you’re in a state of mind that few people have been in.

47) I’d like to say becoming vegan. I feel happier with myself for it.

48) Died from meme overload. I just can’t take myself too seriously.

49) A beating organ. If you were expecting something cheesy, sorry to disappoint.

50) Black, white, gray, green (none of that neon bullshit).

51) The phases of the moon.

52) Tonald Drump (for those specific individuals, it’s Donald Trump)

53) Depends in whose asking me, it could be any question. If my mom were to ask me if I’m straight, I’d hesitate. Still, I would probably tell the truth.

54) Idk, money making power? (gotta pay that college tuition)

55) My time in the Colosseum. It was awesome.

56) Anything to do with my biological father.

57) If we’re talking sex, I’m inclined to not answer since I’m still a minor (*cough* Jungkook/Halsey*cough*), but if it’s like legit sleeping, I want to say Lana Del Rey. Idk why but these are the people that popped up.

58) My bitch ass is headed to South Korea. ✌️

59) Yes.

60) Not even gonna explain:

Jungkook

Halsey

Marina Diamandis

Hayley Kiyoko

Brendon Urie

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myheart-elsewhere · 6 years

Text

im bored pt3 || 11/22/17

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? lick

2. What is home to you? i havent yet figured that out

3. What was the last lie you told? that i was doing great lol

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? for the most part

5. What is the creepiest toy ever made? there are hella creepy toys tbh

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. most the shit i do is unacceptable but its whatever.

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn’t mix them up.) 1: using a cell phone bc it can be hard to teach adults how to use them lol. 2: seeing a color vs describing it

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? probably in school idk

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? over 15..

10. If humans didn’t evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? talking excitedly about what made us happy

11. How many romantic “things” or “flings” have you had? depends on how serious you mean, so between 2 and 5.

12. What is your paradise? lisetning to music

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) i like the sound of nails tapping on something

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? hopefully none

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? you can stay in touch with loved ones.

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? oh jesus here we go. first off, yes- i care about quite a few celebrities. they can make us feel a happiness like no other. if you’re having a bad day, all you need is to hear their voice and the pain goes away. they speak on things that are important and meaningful. they can be our inspirations and role models. when they have a new interview, song (or movie or something else.. whatever your favorite celebrity does) it always gives us something to look forward to. they make you feel less alone. they make you feel loved. i could keep going on but i have 134 more questions..

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? make plans then cancel last minute.

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? at times, but rarely. pros: it helps get your point across. cons: it can be annoying idk

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? guitar and piano

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? if im wearing makeup, yes. i dont have a good reason except that i like my makeup lol

21. List 3 things you like about yourself? im loving, forgiving, and supportive.

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? “be yourself”

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? currently, probably not.. im basically still a child myself.

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? listen to 5h

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? today at work

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? i can be both depending on the situation or social setting

27. What constitutes a good friend? them being there for you when you need them, being supportive in everything you do, and loving you unconditionally.

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? my one best friend. i miss her.

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? “do your homework.”

30. What is your dream job? movie director

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? hardworking bc at least you’re trying.

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? some people are shocked that im gay

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? why men can treat girls like items and/or their property and just throw them away when theyre done..

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? hm idk

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. theres been a few but the first one who comes to mind is this girl who talked about herself 24/7 and didnt care about anyone except for herself.

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don’t know. You can’t switch back. What do you do? try to figure out life and probably cry lol

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? can i do both?

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? school doesnt teach important classes lmfao

39. Name the last book you read. “trials and tribulations”

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? i would feel empty..

41. When was the last time you made the first move? about a month in a half ago

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? i love it

43. What was the last movie you watched? i dont remember bc i rarely watch movies

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? sometimes

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? sometimes

46. When was the last time you cried? last night

47. What are you scared of? mostly irrational things

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? let’s not talk about that lol

49. What are some of your hobbies? reading, listening to music, doing my makeup, social media, and fangirling lol

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? idk bc im stupid and dont understand what superficial means lol

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? i think im a good friend bc i always put others before myself and i do anything and everything i can to make them happy. and im always there for them.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? sometimes

53. What have you learned the hard way? how to lose someone you love

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? not rely on others to be your happiness

55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) writing for sure

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? both

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? smart moments are rare for me

58. What is your ideal meal? steak and potatoes mmmmm

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? be on their phone

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? i love animals, specifially dogs

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? stealing

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? si

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? youtube

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? supermario lol

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today’s society? everyone views it differently. in my personal opinion, ever since the word “thick” got popular around 2 years ago, more people are apprecating that and not focusing on being “super model thin” which i think is great.

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? hell nah. if i have school, around 6am. if i dont have school, around 10am

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? HERCULES!!!!!! meg

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? def city

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? either or

70. What are the best things about winter? COOL WEATHER

71. What scares you most about the future? idk what it holds

72. What makes you feel old? when i realize HSM came out over 10 years ago.

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? too many

74. What are some of your New Year’s resolutions? havent even thought about it bc they never happen lol

75. What is your life story in 6 words? i am really really gay bro

76. Describe yourself in one word. fangirl

77. What bad habits do you do? give out too many chances

78. What genre of music do you listen to? mostly pop, but i listen to a lot of different genres

79. Most prominent childhood memory? getting doughnuts with my dad every saturday mornning

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don’t, how would this change your life? i have a brother who is 20 years older than me. he lived in ohio and right after i was born my parents and i moved to florida. i only get to see him like once a year. it’s really sad. i think of him more as a distant uncle than a brother. but he always has done everything he can to make me happy and i appreciate that so much.

81. Spirit animal? jaguar

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? not really

83. What is the worst advice you’ve ever been given? ive been given so much bad advice i cant pick one specific thing lol

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. my best friend liv, my aunt lori, and lauren jauregui

85. Favorite memory of your family. being in ohio this past summer staying up til 2am with my parents, my brother and his fiance just telling stories and laughing our asses off.

86. What do you look for in a relationship? affection

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? yes, lauren jauregui. i love everything she stands for.

88. What is your opinion on social media? i love it. it’s what keeps you close with family/friends who live in different states or countries for that matter.

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? both, but im mostly optimisitic.. well i try to be at least

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? CONCERT TICKETS

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? getting lost outside in the middle of n where after jingle ball 2015

92. What superpower would ruin the world? reading peoples minds tbh

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? smoke

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? i cant think of any rn

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? ohio to see my family

96. How do you approach people? i.. just.. do..

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? sometimes they change

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? bite my nails

99. What languages can you speak? english and quite a bit of spanish

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? who knows

101. What do you do on your lazy days? lay in my pjs, play on my phone and listen to music

102. What ended your last relationship? it wasnt an actual relationship, but she couldnt make up her goddamn mind and she wanted to be a fuckgirl

103. Favorite food? sushi and steak

104. What is the most terrifying dream you’ve ever had? oooo lets not talk about that..

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? 3 days ago

106. What was the last friendship you broke? one of my “best friends” bc she didnt like that i was friends with someone she didnt like

107. Do you have any pet peeves? people chewing with their mouth open

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? my papa

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? last week

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? that i procrasinate everything

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? lauren jauregui

112. What is your biggest motivation? my best friend

113. What did you want to be when you were little? a veternarian lol

114. What are some things that you are good at? makeup

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? singing lol

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you’re trying to work? probably my phone although i don’t want to admit it lol

117. How important is privacy to you? pretty important.. but it depends on who we want privacy from

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? everyone being nice to each other

119. What’s the craziest lie you’ve ever told? i trust no one so that stays to myself for my own well-being

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? i dont go to parties

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? show off on a skateboard lmao

122. What is the stupidest thing you’ve done to impress someone? told them i have a pt cruiser but thats not even a nice car lmao

123. What is your morning routine? on a typical school day: wake up, check my phone, do my hair/makeup, get dressed, eat then leave.

124. What’s the last thing you did that is worth remembering? made a good sale at work today and it was my first day of my first job.

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? both but mostly help me.

126. What is your opinion on playing “hard to get?” its stupid

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? pros: you dont have to be afriad of not being honest. cons: it could make someone really mad at you.

128. What do you consider “leading” someone on? telling them you like them and consistenly flirting with them.

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? both

130. What do you admire most about your friends? they try to make me happy

131. What do you admire most about your family? they want the best for me

132. What is your opinion on “going with the flow?” ehh stand out, be different

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? i enjoy talking, but i almost always listen

134. When is it time to end a friendship? when they become a selfish little bitch

135. What is the worst excuse you’ve ever come up with? the excuses i make up to get out of going to school

136. If GPA didn’t matter, what courses would you have taken? idk im not interested in school

137. What are your favorite baby names? paris

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? few days ago

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? checking your phone

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. turn ons: confidence (but not cockiness), being outgoing, being able to have a conversation, and a good fashion sense (fashion sense in my opinion haha). cons: ooo being conceited and only talking about yourself.

141. Biggest disappointment. me lmao

142. Do you have any self-restraint? i do.

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? last week

144. Prized possession(s)? honestly, my phone. and a bracelet my best friend gave me,

145. What is your opinion on second chances? most people deserve it.

146. Text or call? depends on the person tbh

147. What do you like about the 21st century? it has social media

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? stay strong, babygirl. youre gonna go through a lot in the next 5 years, but you need to be strong and know you will fight through it all and come out stronger than you were before. nothing is what it seems. nothing lasts forever. expect the least and you’ll get the best. and remember, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.

149. How organized are you? too organized.

150. Favorite mode of transportation. car

0 notes

kaertrolde · 6 years

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i put this under a read more bc its super long and i went on a total rant on something i didnt really mean to. but my whole topic is pets arnt disposable, so if you dont care just keep going. i mean you dont gotta read it at all, it was mostly just me venting to try and help me feel better. but in the end a pill seems a better more realistic choice.

i seriously just cant seem to win with my dad. everything right now is about the cats. HE SAID YES TO TAKING THEM!!! bc he wanted to put them outside when we lived in the country and i preferred them being inside bc its safer and ive lost way to many cats out there. and also he would put them out when he left for work at like 4:30 am and then they would cry and cry at my window until i let them in. i found one of them cowering in a bush once and the other was next door where they have a big pit bull(this isnt a slam on the breed, i love pit bulls in general and i genuinely believe its all on how they are raised and socialized, just like any dog) who wasnt very friendly. and i said i didnt think we should take them bc i didnt want or feel comfortable getting attached to an animal and then just to force them outside where literally anything could happen to them. and my dad knew i would get attached, i always do. and now the liter box is his issue. it s “reeks” he always says and yeah sometimes it smells but that word i hate it. its just like he (and everyone else) “you gotta find a new place to put that stupid box” but then they dont offer any solutions. so its in my bathroom which is the front bathroom and my dads like no body will want to use that bathroom with that smelly shit box in there and im like okay well they know we have inside cats so they gotta have a place to shit. and i have a dog crate in the door way so my stupid dog doesnt go in there and look for brownies to eat. i hate how older generations just think of pets as disposable. we went from 2 pets to 4. from 0 inside or outside cats to 2. and he was just like we gotta get rid of them. and he still says we gotta get rid of stella all these years later. and its like no you cant just get an animal in the moment and then when they dont act how you expect them too or they dont serve the purpose you wanted them too, you cant just chuck them out like trash. im on the edge all the time bc of it and i dont know what to do tbh. ive been trying to find better literboxs and solutions but idk. i just gotta put it in my room and deal with it. and its just like he says do this do that and when i ask how or any other question he just says figure it out.

and dont get me started on my moms new dog. he fucking treats that turd muncher like a freaking princess. my mom is gone from home about 9 hours a day. which is a lot i know but also she is a dog and they get used to things and when shes out she gets alot of attention and a lot of play time. shes not mistreated whatsoever. but i gotta walk the half mile everyday to let her out bc how would you like to be trapped all that time. again, shes a dog. they sleep for like 18 hours a day. shes got toys and bones and a big crate and a nice bed in there. shes got a yard to run around in when my mom gets home. its just so freaking stupid that .

i love dogs and animals in general, just sometimes people gotta realize they have their own personalities and while some cats may hunt mice and gophers all day long some might not. while some dogs are super friendly around people and other dogs, some arnt friendly to other animals but love people. a lot of it is training and exposure but some are just predisposition to be a certain way. stella was very crazy until like maybe two years ago when she started to calm down. but through all the barking and jumping and otherwise crazy behavior i stuck with it with her, shes such a smart dog and picks up things so quickly, she loves walks and tennis balls and always lets me hug and snuggle on her. but my dad wont let me bring her inside. part of me is like i understand she sheds a lot. shes dirty bc we dont have grass in the yard, shes not fixed, and shes kind of small animal reactive. but i know she can be a good dog, and once i get a job and have my own money i am going to take her to the vet so she can get shots and get fixed bc she deserves it.

the only animal i ever asked my dad for was my current small dog, we adopted her about a month after my old dog passed. and i just couldnt handle not having a small dog, roxy 1 slept with me almost every night for onwards of 9 years. she ended up getting an inoperable tumor right on her soft pallet that made her have nosebleeds and started loosing her eyesight on one side and could barely eat. and the last few days i sat with her and helped her eat soft food and tried to stop her nose when it started bleeding and i knew it was time to let her go but my dad just went and took her and i didnt really ever get a chance to properly say goodbye to her. i know it was the best thing for her and i know it would have wrecked me to know it was coming but i still would have liked to been able to say goodbye.

when we got stella hes like oh craigs dog had some puppys come on if there is a black and white female we are gunna take her. so that was his choice. i was a teen i didnt choose her. i got to pick the puppy and all that but in the end it was his choice that i never asked for.

the same with the cats, my moms friend couldnt keep them after having them for 7 years and my moms like do you want them and i said of course i do but if they gotta be outside all the time i dont think its a good idea so i would rather not put them in danger if someone else could keep them safe inside. and then she went and asked my dad and hes like yeah we need outside cats. so again that was his choice.

and when he says that we gotta get rid of them or do something with them it just breaks my heart bc i love them all so much that ive been sitting here crying while i type this bc i miss roxy 1 but at the end of the day i know she had a good life that she got to live entirely with us, not getting rehomed or sitting in a shelter or dropped off on a corner. and i dont think i could emotionally handle having to get rid of any of them.

im sorry this rant is so long, sometimes i think tumblr is the only place i can really vent like this and not really feel guilty about it. im fine and im going to stand my ground and not let him get rid of them.

my entire point of this was that pets are not disposable.

#jessica just stop #animal death mention/

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unessesarysecretdiary-blog · 7 years

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time to start a new beginning....

Thoughts: April 16, 2016 My inner Gypsy. - I kind of want to take a semester off of school and just do youtube for a while. I think that its not a waste of time. its actually gonna benefit my career. I hope my career goes the way i want it to. Yes, i do want to be famous, but for entertainment. I like to see people laugh and i want that to by my job. I want to travel the world and help people. I want to not focus on stressful school, im not good at it. even if i try. I was never good at school. I guess God want me to go a different rout. I dont want to be stuck at hime. I want to just work and travel the world while Im still young. If you think about it, I dont really have to go to school in order to become an actress. This year, im gonna audition to a lot of tv shows. I want to do more youtube, i want to travel with my friends. I dont want to go to school anymore. Its a waste of time. I want to start producing and acting. Im tired of waiting, i know im still young. But im only gonna live this life once, I could die at any time. I would rather experience the best while i can and worry about nothing. My inner gypsy wants to come out. A lot of celebrities didn’t go to school, or they dropped out. why can’t i ? They were normal people that just wanted their dreams come true.

Thoughts: april 17,2016 Men over Boys - Well, today I’ve decided that Im not gonna let a guy control me. By control meaning putting them first over anyone. Ive decided that my friends will always be there no matter what. They would be with me through thick and thin. I want my friends to be the first to see if the guy i introduce them to is okay for my family to meet. I want that man that always is going to be happy to talk to me. I want that man that won’t get mad if I hang out with my friends. I want that man that doesn’t care if I make stupid videos on the internet. I want a man that can laugh at my jokes. At my stupid comments and I want him to make me feel comfortable doing these videos. That doesn’t take fun of me for making them. I want him to be my number one fan ! I want a man that cares for me. That doesn’t make me feel confused. I dont want to wonder if he’s with another girl, if he’s talking to another girl. I dont want him to make me feel special. I dont want a Brandon aka a boy.

Thoughts: May 19,2016 New Life Style - Well, I’ve decided that i want a new life style. Starting next month June 2016 I will become vegan. I will be working out everyday. I will make my happiness be first. I will be uploading videos every Sunday. I will save money. I will make sure that I’m more positive with myself. I will make sure that my future is bright. I will make whoever is around me happy and make them laugh. I will help others with problems. I won’t let anyone get in my way! I will follow my dreams and I will pursuit them! I will let my viewers know what is going on in my life. I will NOT let boys get through my head. I will keep my head high and make the guys fall for me, but I wont fall for them. I will make sure that I have fun with my young life. I will be CONFIDENT ! POSITIVE ! and be FREE ! Believe in yourself !

Thoughts: May 27,2016 What My Summer To Be Like 1. Work out everyday 2. Eat healthy 3. Drink nothing but tea or water 4. Go on adventures/ Explore all of San Diego 5. Make youtube videos 6. Make MONEY !

Thoughts: May 29, 2016 9:45pm keep it to yourself - If you don’t have anything nice to say… shut up. no one asked for your fucking opinion. No one cares if you think something thats dark and scary isn’t your thing. Its my thing. Like shut up dude. Everyone has their own creativity and older people tend to judge more than people that are my age. So what if i have colored hair, tattoos, and piercings. So what if i want to cover my body with tattoos. So what if i want to color my hair different colors? Whats it to you ? Its my body, its my hair I can do whatever I want to it. If you want to do something… just do it. Don’t let others tell you that you look dumb or ugly because you are beautiful. NO MATTER WHAT ! be yourself, Be who you want to be ! Have fun and do whatever you want ! Thoughts: June 7, 2016 I guess?????? - I guess that I still like him. I guess that I’m not over him as I thought I was. I always think of him. I always want to know what he’s doing. I always want to know where he’s at. I always want to know if he’s thinking of me. I want to move on, but I can’t? Idk I wish I would just not think of him. I wish that when I saw him my heart wouldn’t drop to my stomach and I start shaking. I wish I never got nervous around him. I wish I didn’t care, but I do. I love him? I think? I don’t know how you feel that. I guess I’m slowly killing myself without actually doing it. I love someone that doesn’t love me back and it hurts. My heart is broken and I’m a broken soul. I wish I didn’t meet him, but I don’t regret anything I didi with him. All the memories we had… I keep replaying them in my head over and over. I hate myself for it because I can’t stop comparing everyone I meet to you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I have you, I love you. I want you, but I will never go down that path. You broke my heart and Its killing me. I want to know how you feel, what you are thinking and what you want. I wish I knew you were going to be the one who broke me. I never cried over anyone, until you walked my path and tripped me. You made me fall and I didn’t want to. I tried to catch myself and knowing that you were bad for me, Yet, I still let you play with me physically and mentally. I was happy with you, but were you happy with me? What made you think that I wasn’t worth your time. You wanted to be friends, yet you would kiss me? What kind of friendship is that? I guess you were a mistake, a lesson, a fuck boy…my first love. I got too attached and I guess you didn’t feel that way, but its okay because someone will feel the same with me. Someone will be worth my time and my love. You didn’t deserve it. You just destroyed it and I’m stupid for letting you. Knowing that you just wanted to be “friends”. You confused me, you were something else. Like I said… you’re just a boy, not a man.

Thoughts : June 9, 2016 What Does This Mean ? - So, last night I had a weird dream with brandon in it. We hung out and you know we were laughing as usual. I was outside with him and then I saw alejandro come over with his dog toby. I was like omg my baby is here and brandon got jealous and said you have boyfriend now? I was like yeah, i do. he’s great and he treats me like a princess. Brandon was like oh. well i guess i should leave ? i was like thanks for the brownie ill talk to you later yeah ? he was like sure. Then i guess idk how this happened, but i ended up being in brandon car high and we started making out and then you know what happens after every kiss. I don’t know what this means ? Was it just a memory that i had with him and me wanting to move on ? Cause I do, but idk if I can feel this way about anyone like I did with him? THIS IS DIFFICULT ! Like I see potential in Alejandro and he’s nice and whatever, but idk if I’m ready for anything rn. or maybe i just want dick. probably both. I would date alejandro, but uhhhhh idk… I also remember hugging him. It was a hug that we knew it was the end and we both cried.

thoughts: June 17, 2016 Life… - So many deaths happened this past week. I literally have no words. I don’t know what to think, Im so shocked about what this world has come to. I think that I like girls too. Ive always felt like this,but I don’t think I will ever be with a girl. Or who knows. Maybe in the future. Life goes throughout many rollercoasters and we don’t know when it will go down. Or when it will go up. I just want this world to be equal and everyone loves each other no matter what. Some people need love and some people need to feel like someone is there for them too, but they don’t get that. EVERYONE IS THE SAME ! no matter what. though thick and thin, people need to come together as ONE. Life is worth living and who cares if someone is judging you. They’re just scared to come out to the world. Some people need to stop and think whats more important my happiness or someone else happiness? it should always be your happiness over anyone else. BE SELFISH. BE STRONG. BE YOU.

Confession : August 15, 2016 Brandon? It’s currently 1:08AM. I can’t stop thinking of Brandon. I just hung out with him last night… we went to watch suicide squad. We just cuddled and honestly, Im in love with this kid. I hate that I love him so much. I just can’t resist myself when I’m with him. He makes me happy and I’ve never felt like this over someone. I just don’t think we’er right for each other. He’s moving to point Loma and that’s kinda far. When he told me I kinda wanted to cry cause I could just picture him with different girls and it broke my heart. I just don’t want to let him go. I love him too much to let him go. I can’t help that I’m in love with this boy. I love his sent, I love the way he laughs, I love the way he smiles, the way he looks at me, the way that he tries to be cute with me, the way he lays his head on me when he’s tired, the way that he’s not afraid to be himself around me, I love how he can talk to me about anything, the way that he plays music, how open he is with me, his sense of humor, the way his heart beats faster when i lay on him, I just love him. I know that we will be life long friends and we will always have that connection somehow. I want to be with him. I think that he feels the same way, but won’t admit to it or I could be wrong. I just want to be with him 24/7. I want to laugh with him. I want him to hold my hand. I want him to hold me. I want to feel his kisses. I want to feel everything that we had when we would go out. I want to go to family parties with him. I want him to be involved in my life and I want to be involved in his too. I want to have something that would last forever with brandon. I love him and I don’t care what others think of him. I will always love him and he will always have a special place in my heart no matter how much I say that I hate him. I love you brandon and I can’t help myself for falling in your trap over and over again. You’ll never read this, but someone had to know. I just want us to have happy moments and I know that we will always have happy moments together. I just want to remember us laughing at the stupidest things. You laughing at me because I’m stupid. Me laughing at you because you do something weird. I want to look at the stars and you being there next to me, just like we used to. I miss us. I miss people telling us that we look happy because whenever I’m with you I’m happy.You make me happy… When I think of you I cry, knowing that we won’t ever be again. I still get nervous when I see you. When you text me I respond as fast as I can. When you snapchat me it makes my day. Knowing that you called me makes me happy because you’re thinking of me. You basically know everything about me. I know everything about you. You’re my best friend. Theres not a day that I don’t think of you. I just think of the times we would kiss at every traffic light. When you would hold my hand driving. When your eyes sparkle from the moon light. I love you Brandon Thomas Desloover. You will forever be in my heart. I’m just crazy over you. If I could talk about you to anyone I would. I will do anything for him. I’m crazy for him, but I know that he will break my heart. It sucks because I know that he will. I know that I can’t fall into that trap anymore. I know that he’s no good for me. I know that he doesn’t feel the same. I know that he’s my first love and I know he broke it. I can’t help, but cry. I’m a fool and I’m stupid because I fell in love with someone who doesn’t love me back. I hate myself.

Thoughts: August 29,2016 5 years Its been 5 years since my dad passed. I haven’t cried or felt any emotion for it. I know I should cry, but I just can’t. Like how do i feel about this situation? I really don’t know. I feel numb towards it. I look at his picture everyday, but i just smile at him. I miss my dad. I miss his laugh. I miss him… now I’m crying. All my emotions are coming out finally. I know i shouldn’t keep it in, but I don’t want people knowing I’m weak. I love my dad and he knows that I do. I wish he was here, but its okay cause i know he is… just not physically. No one talks about it in my family. Everyone just stays quiet or is in their room. I remember those hard months that i would try to keep it in, but i just couldn’t so i just cried. I had a tough life. I think everyone does, but thats what they call life. I just wish my dad was here. I miss him. I want to hold him again. I miss you dad. I love you. Thank you for all you have done. I appreciate everything you did for us. I know that i didn’t show it at all, but i really did.

Thoughts: August 30, 2016 Him Again It will always be you. No matter what, I will always want to be with you. You will always be in my heart, mind and I don’t mind it. I just want you to know that ill be there for you no matter what. I will always be him. When I get in the car with you. i just think of the memories we have together. The laughs, the arguments when you were confused. The feels are and will always be there, at least it will of me. I just get so happy when i talk to you. My mood goes up and I can’t stop smiling. I just want you to know that i do love you. I just want to lay next to you. I just want to be with you. I miss you, I want you to see how much you hurt me. You’re no good for me and Im no good for you. We’er no good for each other. We can’t, but we both want to. You make my life so much easier. You make me want to succeed.

Thoughts Sep. 1, 2016 21 reasons 1. I can’t be in a relationship 2. I get bored of the same person fast 3. I can’t be cute 4. I can’t be normal 5. I don’t know how to be in a relationship 6. I don’t think I’m dateable 7. I don’t think I can be with someone for too long 8. If my friendships can’t last, I don’t know if a boyfriend would 9. I want to be in a relationship 10. I always get the wrong boys 11. I get attached too quick 12. I move too fast 13. I want to skip the getting to know each other 14. I want that love movie type of love 15. It only happens in movies 16. No one likes me 17. I don’t think I’m worthy of a relationship 18. I seek love, but don’t know how to get it 19. You’re the only reason, but you don’t want too 20. I love you, but you don’t love me… 21. I’m hurt, but can’t let go.

cont… same day, same time I don’t know if I should tell him. I want to say “ I love you, but you don’t love me and its okay…” Just saying this out loud made me have butterflies and made my heart skip a beat.

Thoughts: September 3, 2016 question mark? Unmmmm the other day I was on the phone with brandon & he was acting weird... No, being a jerk. I didn't appreciate that. I hate him dude. I can't wait until he moves ! I'll be like BYE BITCH! I do love him, but I don't like the way he acts sometimes. He needs to stop with the attitude. He's so annoying. I hate him. I don't want to be with someone like him. I just wish he was different, but I can't change people. Sadly. Guess I really do have to move on. I don't need this in my life and he's too much to even try this thing we have going on. I don't think we're right for eachother. Its okay that you don’t feel the same because I don’t want you to be forced to say it back…. I just love you.

Thoughts: September 5, 2016 Meh. I saw him today. I just felt nervous, but it all went away after a while. I just get nervous for no reason. I do love him. I do shake of how nervous I get. I don’t know it just kinda bothers me that I get nervous. He’s funny, but I don’t know. He’s always in my mind and heart. I can’t stop him form not being there. I can’t stop him for being in my life. He chooses to be in it i guess… I don’t know. I saw him looking at me though the corner of my eye, but I just kinda ignored him. *SELF FIVE* I’m just gonna go on with my life. Whatever happens… happens right?

Thoughts: September 6, 2016 Scared, but its okay. I think I’m depressed. I think Im deeply sad inside. I’ve been getting sad too much and it sucks. I don’t know what to do anymore. Like I get excited for whats coming in my future, but I’m scared its not gonna happen. Im scared that I won’t go though it. Im scared that I will fail. Im terrified of failure. I’ve always failed in my life and I don’t know how to stop it. I think everyone is scared of failure though. Everyone doesn’t know what they want. Everyone doesn’t think they’re gonna make it, but its okay because we live and we learn. Life is about failure. Life is about Succeeding. Life is about Learning. You can do this. You can fail if you want. Its okay.

Thoughts: September 11, 2016 Sounds Live Feels Live I saw them on friday Sep. 9th and it was the best night of my existence !! I didn’t want that night to end !! I miss them so much ! Im definitely gonna have PCD until The heirs sept. 24 ! I love life so much right now ! Im having fun and living !! Im so happy that I went to see 5 seconds of summer ! It was so much fun ! I had the time of my life and i cant stop thinking about them ! I LOVE 5SOS !!! FOREVER AND EVER <3

Thoughts: October 15, 2016 Someone Different ? Someone different is coming in my life. Someone different is changing me. Someone different is making me happy. Someone different treats me like a princess. Someone different is funnier. Someone different supports me. Someone different make my heart skip a beat. Someone different makes me forget you. Someone different is making me forget you. Someone different, I can’t stop thinking about them. Someone different is better than you. Someone BETTER is in my life. Someone better is changing me. Someone better is making me happy. Someone better treats me like a princess. Someone better is funnier. Someone better supports me. Someone better makes my heart skip a beat. Someone better makes me forget you. Someone better makes me forget you. Someone better, I can’t stop thinking about them. Someone better is different than you. I’m glad that someone is in my life now, something you couldn’t do. But you will always have a piece of my heart. I still love you, I still care, I still want you.

Thoughts: November 6, 2016 Here We Go Again. Christian, you will NEVER EVER read this, but this is for me and only me. You make my heart skip a beat when I see you. You give me butterflies when we kiss. You make me smile when I look at you. You always make me laugh. You make me feel happy. I haven’t felt happy in a while. I want this feeling to be long term. I want to be with you. I want you and only you. I don’t care about the past, I don’t care about anything that you and I had with anyone. I just want our future together. The beginning has just begun for both of us.

Thoughts: November 15, 2016 NEW PLAN AND IT’S FOR REAL here we go new plan and its for real dude no slacking !! you got this !! 1. go to school for only acting and film classes 2. YOUTUBE ! 3. get a camera 4. acting agent 5. move to L.A. 6. CALARTS 7. DISNEY PRODUCTIONS 8. Travel the world !!!

Thoughts: November 18,2015 I think I think I love you, but I don’t know what love is. I dont know if you’re here for a lesson or true love. I dont know if I would ever live without you. I dont know if i could survive without you. I dont know if I want to be with you forever. I dont know if you’re the one, but I think you are ere for a reason. A reason why I should believe in myself, believe in you, believe in us. You’re not like the others that I have been with. You’re better than them. You’re the best i could ever have. maybe one day ill see you with someone else and i know i won’t be okay with it, but ill deal with i. you’re my best friend and i hope you will for a long time. I just want you to be happy and you make me happy. I love you as a best friend. maybe even more. someday ill be yours and i hope to be yours for a while. Ill do anything for you and that what i tend to do. Ill take care of you and ill be with you until you dont need me anymore. It could be with a little bit or time or a long time. I dont mind. I want you and only you. I miss you when you’re not around. i want you near me at all times. i could maybe… i think.. idk i love you.

Thoughts : November 23, 2016 C... You see you make me happy. You make me smile. You make me think that we could be together for a long time. You make me realize that theres other people that can change my mind. You made me realize that the past is the past and you made me realize that i didn’t love him. I was just hung up on someone that I really liked. But I realized that I like you. You want to be with me. You’re not scared to show me off. You’re not afraid to say that I’m you girl. What I mostly like about you is that you have ambition, dreams and your personality is my favorite. Your eyes, your laugh, your voice, your lips… just you christian.You make me the girl I am right now. I may be a hopeless romantic, but I don’t see myself with anyone else. I like you christian. Maybe even more than like. I dont know. I may have felt this way towards someone, but i always have second thoughts. With you, I don’t have second thoughts. Maybe its too soon for me to think this because we dont know the future, but you are different. You’re heart and soul are just like mine.

Thoughts: November 25, 2016 The Rain Song Looking back at the old things that I said about Brandon is pretty interesting. It’s interesting because I no longer feel that way. Its so funny how I was so hung up on you and now I’m sitting here typing on my laptop thinking… “why? he was a jerk…yeah every now and then he did some nice things, but not like christian”. Christian… now he’s different. Christian gives me butterflies when I think about him. He makes me smile even though he’s not around. He makes me happy and I get excited when I see him. I never what to loose this feeling. I’m smiling just thinking about him. I know he won’t hurt me and I will never hurt him. I know he’s here for a while and Im glad that he is. Yeah, arguing and fighting is bound to happen, but nothing too extreme… I hope. No one has treated me like he has. He’s the best Ive ever had. Its hard to explain my feelings towards him because Im not used to saying my feelings I tend to hide them, which isn’t good. He cares for me and I care for him. All those things he said to me yesterday, made me realize that I do care for him a lot and I like him a lot… I don’t know about love cause Ive never had it, but if its how I feel right now then maybe i do.

Thoughts: November 29,2016 Dear Christian, I'm writing this because I can't stop thinking about you. I keep getting butterflies and my heart is skipping beats. I haven't felt this way for anyone in a long time! I still get nervous when We go out...you may not notice, but I really do. I try to hide it from you. You also make me feel something I've never felt before and I really don't know what it is. I want to show you how much i care about you. I usually can’t say how i feel about someone because Im weird about feelings like that, but you truly are the best. I just want to tell you that I have strong feelings for you and I do believe were together for a reason. I think that reason is for us to be happy. I love how we understand each other and were there for each other. You truly are someone that I am going to keep in my life for a while. Im glad that you’re in my life. You’re amazing. You’re caring. I know forever isn’t something thats real, but I wouldn’t mind being with you forever. You’ll always be in my heart no matter what. Im always thinking about you and i just smile at nothing. People may think Im crazy and they could be right… I am crazy, but in a good way because Im crazy about you. I know its cheesy, but i don’t know how to express my feelings towards you. You make me happy and i care a lot for you. I will do anything for you and like i said I will be there to care and possibly maybe even love you. The reason I said that Im scared that you’re gonna hurt me that one night was because Ive never been in love. Love is a terrifying thing for me, but I wouldn’t mind getting hurt by you. Love is a rollercoaster and so far this is a fun roller coaster that I don’t want to get off from. I love you… I think. I dont know what love is, but i think its what I feel for you. There I said it I love you Christian. I love you so much that Im getting nervous just writing this. I dont know how you’re gonna react, but Im just gonna wait to say it until you say it first. I just want to let you know that I will never hurt you. If I do, I’m sorry. I dont mean anything that I say that makes you mad. I want you to be happy and always have a smile on your face. Im scared that Im gonna hurt you even if i said i won’t. Im scared that you’re gonna hurt me even if you said you won’t, but I’m just scared of this feeling that i have for you. Im scared, but if you do end up breaking my heart… i dont think i would remember the bad moments. I think i will remember the happy moments that we’ve had. Youre such a dork i love it. You’re a beautiful soul christian. You’re the best I’ve ever had. Im glad that its you. I care for you a lot… so much that it hurts me when you’re hurt. Thats why I like to ask you what you’re thinking about because I want to know everything that you think of… the good and the bad. I want to know how you feel and think. you make me happy and i know that sometimes i dont say much of how i feel and thats because i dont know what to say or show it. Well, one day you’ll ready this, but it won’t be anytime soon. You are my first love and Im glad its you. I love you christian.

Thoughts : December 1, 2016 Without you I dont ever want to be without you. I want you to be with me at all times. I want you to be safe. I care for you. It hurts me when you’re sad, angry and hurt. I love you... you'll always be in my hear no matter what. You'll always be remembered by me. We may not know the future, but if we ever end up on bad terms... just remember the good days. I want to say sorry in advance just in case I hurt you. I don't ever what to, but we're not perfect. We're human. We make mistakes sometimes we have to learn how to forgive and forget.

December 13, 2016 I told you I told you that I loved you… Im scared because I don’t want to get hurt. I love you so much it hurts.. I miss you when you’re gone. I don’t know why Im crying so much. I just get emotional when I think of you. I get all my feelings balled up and I just cry.

December 19, 2016 It is what it is.. I told you that I loved you, but now that I think about it… Im not in love with you. I do care for you and I do love you, but I know I can do better. You were right… you do need time to think about yourself and what you need to do in life. I thought that I could help you, but I can’t baby you all the time. Im getting tired of acting like I’m your mother. i feel like you don’t appreciate anything I do for you. I want to feel like a girlfriend or someone that you truly care about. I just feel like I’m just a friend and I know thats what you tell people, but what kind of friends are we ? i know your family, I keep in contact with them… like ????? I guess I’m just over thinking like i always do. You need to hang out with your friends and not ditch them to hang out with me. I dont want that to happen cause one day We might not be a thing and you’re not gonna have anyone. I love you and I do care for you, but dont push people aside for me.

January 15, 2017 Im done. IM STARTING FRESH. Im done. Im over dating people for now. Its time to focus on myself and not worry about anyone else ! I think this is the year when i actually work out and start to do things for myself. AUDITIONS, YOUTUBE, TRAVELING HERE I COME ! I know that you’re ready for your dreams to come true ! DO IT KARINA ! YOU GOT THIS GIRL ! You can do it ! I know you can ! WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF AND NO ONE ELSE !!! BE HAPPY AND BE PROUD ! DONT LET ANYONE BRING YOU DOWN OR STRESS YOU OUT ! NO MORE ! NO MORE MR.NICE GUY ! FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS AND NEVER STOP DREAMING ! last year was the year of heart break, but not this year. forget the past focus on your future and your dreams. MAKE THEM COME TRUE! if others can do it so can you. dont let fear bring you down

Thoughts: January 29,2017 Do you I really just want to do my own thing this year. I mean yeah I have friends but I just wanna to do YouTube ! I don't wanna go to college anymore. I wanna focus on YouTube and just YouTube ! I wanna explore things and figure things out on my own. My mom makes me feel like I can't do anything and that I'm not gonna make my dreams come true. I want to accomplish what I told myself 2 years ago ! I don't wanna be scared anymore. I actually want to audition for things and actually start acting in things. I want to do it and I'm gonna do it ! Fuck school I'm not going. Why stress over somethng I dont wanna do ? Im tired of being forced to follow societies rules. I dont wanna go to school. Im not gonna go. I want to move to LA and live the life there. Im tired of just dreaming. I want them to come true. - [ ] Thoughts: February 5, 2015 MY MISTAKE I fell in love with the wrong person. I fell in love with Brandon. He will always be in my heart no matter what. Its been a year and it sucks ! I tried to move on, but I couldn’t cause I would constently would think of brandon. Its no ones fault that I feel like this. I love him… I miss him and it sucks cause I want him back.

Thoughts: March 7, 2017 Dear mom, Mom I wish we had a better relationship. I know we don't communicate at all. I know you do things that are best for us, but you never listen to what I want to do, you just assume things and honestly i wish you would just open up your mind and listen to me. Let me live my dreams and support me and how I want to achieve it. I just wish you would understand. The reason I took this semester off was because I wanted to focus on YouTube and do that while I work and figure out what I really want to do with my life. I can't do that when you're on my ear telling me to pay $400 of rent that's too much ! If I'm gonna pay that much then I would rather move out where I can do wherever I want. I don't wanna move to banning, but at this point I feel like I'm forced to move there because it's too much. I'm gonna go back to school, I just wanted this semester off. What I really want is to work on our relationship, for you to understand and listen to what I want.

Thoughts : March 19, 2017 Looking Back. Now that I haven’t spoken to you in a while I think back and honestly, I feel nothing anymore. Yeah, i think about you, but its just a thought. I don’t feel anything. For a couple seconds I do miss you and I feel sad, but then I think back on everything I did for you. You did nothing for me. I didn’t want much, I just felt like I did everything in the relationship. Like I was the guy not the girl. I took care of you like you were my husband, but you weren’t even my boyfriend. You were my “Friend” as you call it. Once that “friendship” was over and I even asked you what we were you wanted me back, but you didn’t realize that you were too late. I dropped all my feeling for you and I feel nothing now. I feel gross just thinking about you. Just writing and listening to this stupid song you told me to listen to makes me angry. You made me feel guilty because I didn’t want you back. Because I didn’t want to be with you when you wanted me. I hate you Christian Rivas. Honestly, you’re a piece of shit. You’re fake and you follow other peoples dreams and claim them your own. You nothing, but a loser. Your mom was right about you, I could do better.

thoughts: March 25, 2016 Take it easy Sometimes I don't know how much I can handle. Sometimes I don't know if I can handle everything in my life right now. I just wish there was someone that could help me. I wish that I could do everything that I think I can do. I wish I had someone that could help me. I wish that I was just like everyone else. They have both their parents. They have help. I don't have anyone. I have myself. That's all I have and it's hard. It's hard when all your friends have help from their parents. They can do whatever they want. They can go out and they don't have a worry in the world. I just wish I was in the same situation. It sucks when you don't have help from anyone. It's party of growing up I guess. I don't know I guess every life is different. Some are lucky and some just aren't. I guess I'm just one of the unlucky ones. The ones that have to struggle for a bit of success. It would work out in the end I guess. I'll have my dream and everyone that didn't believe in me...well i guess they can suck it. I'll be traveling and having fun while they live in a office job for the rest of their life. I'll prove them wrong. I'll prove them that I can do it. I'll prove it and I'll rub it in their faces. Just wait and see. People think I have potential and those people I'm gonna help out. I wanna throw up from all the stress in my life right now. I just feel depressed and worn out. I just want to kill myself sometimes. I just lay in my room and just cry. I just want to be alone. I just want to die at times. Idk I just feel like I can't Handel life. I can't do it. It's difficult and I don't want to do it. I just wanna be gone and be done. I don't have any plans other than entertainment. Is that my purpose ? To entertain people? To make others happy? When deeply I'm sad?

thoughts: May 8, 2017 Why? Its so funny cause when I try to move on, you’re still there. If you would tell me to hang out ill say yes in a heart beat. Idk what this feeling is, but I want you at the same time I dont.

Thoughts : June 3, 2017 Not like the movies My love for you isn’t like the movies. Its different, its a love hate thing. Its like i want to be with you, but I dont want anyone to be with you. I want you to be mine and mine only, but i dont want you. Its complicated. this love is not like the movies. I dont know why I can’t be with anyone else. I can’t, I wish i could ,but you’re all i think of. I just wish it was the same with you. I want to be with you and only you. Why do I feel this way ?

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overlyobsessedfreak · 7 years

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150 Questions

I Did A Question Thingy 4 Years Ago. I Want To See How Much Ive Changed.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? 4 Years: My Momma Now: This Stupid Guy.

2. Are you outgoing or shy? 4y: Shy Now: Shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? 4y: KAMERON AND ANDY SIXX <<< Nice To See My Priorities included A Band Member. Now: Kyler, Chris And My Family Back Home.

4. Are you easy to get along with? 4y: Sometimes Now: Sometimes

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? 4y: Yesh Now: I Know He Would.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? 4y: Nice,Shy people Now: Dorky And Nice People.

7. Do you think you'll be in a relationship two months from now? 4y: I hope so 1 year so far <<< Back When I Had Low Self Esteem And Thought I Needed A S/O When I Didnt Love Them. I Let That Go On For Way Too Long. Now: Absolutely.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? 4y: My Boyfriend Now: Boyfriend And My Best Friend.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? 4Y: Depends On who Im talking to. Now: Nah.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? 4Y: Kameron Now: Either My Cousin Mariah Or Deanna.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? 4Y: Nothin Now: There Is A Difference xD

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 4Y: In the End-BVB, If Im James Dean then your Audrey Hepburn acoustic Version-SWS, King For a day-PTV, Hell On heels-BOTDF, Finders Keepers- YMAS, Ohio Is on Fire- OM&M Now: Follow You By BMTH, Scars By I Prevail, Heroin By SWS, Stuck In Your Head By I Prevail, Four Is Enough.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? 4y: Yes Now: Yes

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? 4y: Nope Now: Nope.

15. What good thing happened this summer? 4y: Ocean City Now: Nothing I Can Recall

16. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? 4y: Kameron and Andy Sixx << Again With The Band Thing Now: Kyler.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? 4y: YES Now: Yep.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? 4y: yesh he's in one of my classes. Now: Nope.

19. Do you like bubble baths? 4y: Yesh. Now: Yep

20. Do you like your neighbors? 4Y: NOPE. Now: Dont Know Them.

21. What are you bad habits? 4Y: Talking in sleep, biting lower lip, Inside cheek, Biting My nails, Biting off lip skin Now: All Still Happening

22. Where would you like to travel? 4y:France Now: Ohio.

23. Do you have trust issues? 4y: Yes Now: Yep

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? 4Y: Computer or Seeing my bf. Now: Pretty Much The Same But Now Im Adding Talking To My Friends On Skype For Hours Upon Hours.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? 4y: Everything Now: My Smile.

26. What do you do when you wake up? 4y: I go downstairs and Eat cereal Now: Do Chores And Then Message People Back.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? 4y: Lighter <<< My Ass Wanting To Be A Vampire And Shit. Now: Dont Care.

28. Who are you most comfortable around? 4y: Friends and Close Family Now: Kyler, Chris, A Select Few Of My Friends And Family.

29. Have any of your ex's told you they regret breaking up? 4y: Nope. Now: Yep.

30. Do you ever want to get married? 4Y: Yes Now: I Believe So.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? 4y: A very small one. Now: Yep.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? 4Y: Avril Lavigne and Andy Sixx, Sasuke and Naruto, Gaara and Ino, Andy Sixx and Ashley Purdy, Vic Fuentes And Kellin Quinn, Alice And Mad Hatter, Finn and Princess Bublegum, Finn and Marceline, Princess bubblegum and Marceline, Zuko and Katara, Sam Manson and Danny Phantom, Gaara and Naruto, Cat and Tori, Jade and Tori, Tori and Beck, Abby and Tony, Tony and Ziva, Noami and Emily, Jamie and Vic ^^^ WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? I WAS 13?!?!? My Hypersexualized Ass? Wtf. Now: No.

33. Spell your name with your chin. 4y: a7tumknjm Now: autguumnj

34. Do you play sports? 4y: What sports? HAHAHHAHA Your Funny Now: No. Though I Enjoy Soccer If I Get A Chance.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? 4Y: TV Now: No.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? 4y: Yeah Now: Obviously

37. What do you say during awkward silences? 4y: "So....." Now: I Just Continue Being Silent.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? 4y: My boyfriend <3 <<< Autumn Should’ve Stopped Lying To Herself. Now: My Boyfriend Now Honestly, He Treats Me Perfectly And I Dont Ever Want Anyone Else.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? 4y: Hot Topic, Rue 21, etc. Now: Same I Think. Though I Cant Afford That Shit.

40. What do you want to do after high school? 4y: Video Game Designer or something with animals. Now: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHH

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? 4y: Yes Now: No.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? 4y: I'm thinking. Now: Either Im Thinking Or Im Having Really Bad Anxiety.

43. Do you smile at strangers? 4y: Yeah. Now: Yes. Everyone Deserves A Smile. 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? 4y: Bottom of ocean. Now: If It Was 100% Safe? Either. Both Sound Awesome.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? 4y: My grandfather. Now: My Fear Of Being A Failure.

46. What are you paranoid about? 4y: Too much stuff Now: Right Now Im At Peace.

47. Have you ever been high? 4y: Yeah Now: Yep :/ God I Hate My Parents. 48. Have you ever been drunk? 4y: Yeah Now: Yeah, I Hate My Parents.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? 4y: Yes. Now: Yep.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? 4y: Gray and Black Now: Grey

51. Ever wished you were someone else? 4y: Yes Now: Absolutely.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? 4y: Everything Now: My Motivation, My Ability To Do Simple Tasks.

53. Favourite makeup brand? 4y: Hard Candy Now: Uhhhh

54. Favourite store? 3y: Hot Topic Now: Dont Have One.

55. Favourite blog? 4y: http://justpiercetheveilalready.tumblr.com/ and http://andley.tumblr.com/ Now: I Cant Choose :(

56. Favourite colour? 4y: Purple and Red Now: Purple And Red

57. Favourite food? 4y: Spaghetti and Chili Now: Spaghetti, Chili, Steak, Honey Chipotle Chicken.

58. Last thing you ate? 4y: Raspberry lemonade Now: Beeferoni.

59. First thing you ate this morning? 4y: Cereal Now: Beeferoni

60. Ever won a competition? 4y:For what? Nope. Now: I Was Student Of The Month Once.

61. Been suspended/expelled? 4y: Nope but I got MIP twice, Once for stealing and the other cuz I wrote bad storys Now: Ive Had In School Suspension At Least 100 Times. Whoops.

62. Been arrested? 4y: Nope. Now: No

63. Ever been in love? 4y: I am right now.<<< Again With The Lying Autumn Now: Yes, And I Can Say That Honestly Without A Single Doubt Now. I Have Never Felt This Deeply For Anyone.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? 4y: Never had one. Now: Oh Lord. It Was With My Friend Ely And We Were Listening To Sleeping With Sirens And Sitting On My Bed. He Put His Hand Over Mine And Asked If I Was Nervous, I Said Yes And We Kissed.

65. Are you hungry right now? 4y: Yes. Now: Sort Of.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? 4y: What tumblr friends. Now: Again No Tumblr Friends.

67. Facebook or Twitter 4y: Facebook Now: Facebook 68. Twitter or Tumblr? 4y: Tumblr Now: Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? 4y: yes Now: Yep

70. Names of your bestfriends? 4y: Mariah, Kameron, Kati, Josh, Lexi, Lauren, Kevin Now: Kyler, Chris, Mariah, Talula, Deanna, Tristan, Kim

71. Craving something? 4y: What? Boyfriend. Now: To Cuddle My Boyfriend 72. What colour are your towels? 4y: anything. Now: Anything

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 4y: 3 Or 4 Now: 4

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? 4y: No Now: No. 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 4y: Idkkkk Now: 3 With Me, The Rest Are In A Box Somewhere.

75. Favourite animal? 4y: Cats and Dogs. Now: Cats, Dogs, Wolves, Foxes, All Pretty Similar.

76. What colour is your underwear? 4y: Purple. << Glad To Know I Let Everyone Know What Color My Underwear Was At 13... Now: None Of Your Business.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? 4y: Vanilla Now: Either? They Are All Great,

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? 4y: Vanilla or Green Mint Now: Green Mint Chocolate Chip, Vanilla Swirl, Chocolate Or Vanilla.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? 4y: Black Now: Grey And Black Stripped.

80. What colour pants? 4y: Black Now: Blue With Snoopy And Woodstock On Them

81. Favourite tv show? 4y: Anime, Lost Girl, Animals, Crime shows Now: Eyewitness, Shadowhunters, Teen Wolf, The Flash, Pretty Little Liars, A Bunch Of Them Really.

82. Favourite movie? 4y: Breaking Dawn part 2 and Matilda Now: Matilda, Moana, Miss Peregrine's home for peculiar children,

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? 4y: Mean girls. Now: Mean Girls

84. Breaking dawn part 1 or part 2? 4y: Part 2 Now: Part 2 I Guess?

85. Favourite character from Breaking dawn part 2? 4y: Alice and Jasper Now: Still Alice And Jasper.

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? 4y: Squirt Now: Dory.

87. First person you talked to today? 4y:Mariah Now: Kyler

88. Last person you talked to today? 4y: Mariah Now: Kyler

89. Name a person you hate? 4y: Everyone except friends and Close family Now: I Only Hate One Person And His Name Is Jacob.

90. Name a person you love? 4y: Kameron Now: To Save Me From Writing A Long Ass List Im Just Gonna Go With The Romantic Love Which Is Kyler.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? 4y: YES. Now: Mostly Myself But Yes.

92. In a fight with someone? 4y: Nope, I dont think so. Now: Nope

93. How many sweatpants do you have? 4y: I dunno Now: A Hell Of A Lot.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 4y: 3 or 4 Now: 2 :(

95. Last movie you watched? 4y: Breaking dawn part 2 Now: Moana

96. Favourite actress? 4y: Pauley Perrette Now: Idk

97. Favourite actor? 4y: Matthew Gray Gubler Now: Idk

98. Do you tan a lot? 4y: No Now: I Tan Easily?

99. Have any pets? 4y: 2 one dog one cat. Now: A Dog

100. How are you feeling? 4y: I dunno Now: As Of Right Now, Nothing.

101. Do you type fast? 4y: Yes. Now: Yep

102. Do you regret anything from your past? 4y: Who doesn't? Now: Again Who Doesnt.

103. Can you spell well? 4y: Yeah?? Now: Mostly.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? 4y: Of course. Now: Yes.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? 4y: Yes. Now: Yes.

106. Ever Broken someone's heart? 4y: I dunno Now: Yep...

107. Have you ever been on a horse? 4y:YES. Now: Yep

108. What should you be doing? 4y: Writing my storys or Writing My boyfriends letter. Now; Probably Sleeping.

109. Is something irritating you right now? 4y: No Now: Teen Wolf Season 5 Episode 9 Scott Doesnt Know How Donovan Really Died And Stiles Looks So Sad. SCOTT YOU STUPID PIECE OF TRASH BITE THAT POOR GIRL.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? 4y: Yeah Now: Yeppp

111. Do you have trust issues? 4y: Yeah Now: Yep

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? 4y: Momma Now: My Uncle

113. What was your childhood nickname? 4y Now: Autie and Tootie

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? 4y: Yes Now: Yep.

115. Do you play the Wii? 4y: Not anymore Now: Nope

116. Are you listening to music right now? 4y: No. Now: No.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? 4y: NO. << Caps? Why You Gotta Be So Loud About It? Now: Yes

118. Do you like Chinese food? 4y: Nope. Now: No

119. Favourite book? 4y: The Immortals Series Now: House Of Night Series.

120. Are you afraid of the dark? 4y: Depends on where Im at. Now: Depends On Where I Am.

121. Are you mean? 4y: I can be. Now: Can Be.

122. Is cheating ever okay? 4y: Are you serious? NO. DENIED. DO NOT DO IT. Now: No.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? 4y: LOL no Now: No.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? 4y: Yesh. Now: Yeah

125. Do you believe in true love? 4y: Yeah. Now: Yes.

126. Are you currently bored? 4y: Yes Now: Yep.

127. What makes you happy? 4y: Bf and Friends Now: Same.

128. Would you change your name? 4y: Yesh. Now: Nah.

129. What your zodiac sign? 4y: Scorpio

130. Do you like subway? 4y: No. Now: No.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 4y: Id be cool Cause hes my BF. Now: Same, But If It Wasnt My Bf Id Probably Set The Record Straight.

132. Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with? 4y:Mariah Now: Mariah And Or Deanna.

133. Favourite lyrics right now? 4y: "With every sin I still Wanna Be holy." Now: “Heroine My Sweetest Sin I Cant Seem To Get Enough, Pull Me Under Wake Me Up Feel The Rush. Morphine Lover Make Me Numb, Make It So I Can't Get Up. Paper Thin Till You Sink In, Could You Be My Heroine?”

134. Can you count to one million? 4y: I guess if I wanted to. Now: Same

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? 4y: "I said I was an 87 year old." Now: Probably That One. Idk.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? 4y: Closed Now: Closed.

137. How tall are you? 4y: 5'2 Now: 5′3

138. Curly or Straight hair? 4y: Mine is Curly but I want straight. Now: Both.

139. Brunette or Blonde? 4y: Brunette Now: Brunette

140. Summer or Winter? 4y: Summer Now: Winter.

141. Night or Day? 4y: Night Now: Night.

142. Favourite month? 4y: July. Now: October

143. Are you a vegetarian? 4y: Nope Now: Nope

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? 4y: Dark. Now: Milk.

145. Tea or Coffee? 4y: Tea Now: Tea.

146. Was today a good day? 4y: Yeah. Now: Yes

147. Mars or Snickers? 4y: Snickers Now:

148. What's your favourite quote? 4y: “Each and every one of us has a fire that burns inside us and they can try like hell to put out that flame but as long as in our minds we know who we are meant to be, they don’t stand a chance.” -Andy Sixx Now: Uhhhh

149. Do you believe in ghosts? 4y: Yeah. Now: Yes. 150. Get the closet book next to you, open it to page 42, what's the first line on that page? 4y: Found Out that Loren was really with Neferet and he didnt care about me at all, even though we'd imprinted. Now: No Books :(

#Answered Questions #my post

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