#ive just seen people talking about a break (now i know (i think??) that its only 5 days?? JFBDB) and about like stories being interrupted

[watcherthrowaway]

also one real post about this and like, plenty of ink has been spilt on how disconnected watcher entertainment seems to be from its fans but i think the missing piece here is how disconnected watcher is from the rest of youtube. when the catastrophe hit i went to all my terminally online friends, the same way i did after the hbomberguy james somerton video, or after the ned fulmer fiasco, or the creepshowart scandal etc, or every time jenny nicholson dropped a new evermore video, including the ones behind the $2 patreon paywall we all gladly pay for, and for the first time...

no one knew who i was talking about.

these are not insulated people. these are people i can trust to have at least name recognition of almost any youtuber i mention. they know downtherabbithole and strangeaeons and cjthex and kappakaiju and miniminuteman773 and kazrowe and somemorenews etc etc etc

so when i put in the group chat, with no context, 'he wasnt even on cribs' or 'we have no cats kathleen' or 'only humble pagan commune schemes' or whatever, i usually do so with great trust that at least half the group will know what im on about.

this time, crickets.

i backpedaled a little and pulled up the 'ive connected them' meme and the fuzzy blue professor, and i got nothing at all. the only recognition i got was when someone belatedly realized that he had seen the goatman video when it dropped (although he had no idea that they had their own company now), and another person remembered that they had offered to collab with danny gonzalez, a youtuber with twice the subscribers

because she had checked back to see if danny went ghost hunting again, and lost interest because he hadnt.

i also brought it up in my dedicated buzzfeed unsolved group chat but ummmmm i am the only one in that group still watching ever since the shift to watcher oops

the only splash they had made in my again, TERMINALLY ONLINE friend group that watches hours and hours of youtube a day was a buzzfeed video seven years ago, and when they had failed to collab with someone more famous than them. i found myself in the unusual position of having to explain the situation to a bunch of dirty internet gremlins, all of whom heard the whole story and said 'why would they do that'

not 'why would they do that to their fans' but 'why would they do that as youtubers'

even aside from the moneygrubbing, we watcher stans were confused about why they tried to offer us a service we didn't need or want, and i think it obscured the confusion on why they thought it was a good idea at all, when so many other models were available to them. why werent they using their patreon like other youtubers? why weren't they collaborating with other youtubers? why weren't they putting out regular, lower quality content like other youtubers? if they wanted higher quality content, why weren't they partnering with nebula, like lindsay ellis, or netflix, like bo burnham. why didn't they run their ideas past someone like the green brothers, who have jumpstarted scishow and many other similar projects successfully, and are famously good to work with/consult with? why would they try to pull a roosterteeth? don't they know what happened?

and i think the answer is no. i think they just don't know those things. and they didnt bother to check, because they think all those things are beneath them. because they think corporate content is the only worthwhile kind there is.

why else would they think they have to have an office building, keep dozens of people on staff, buy expensive cameras, and build a streaming platform? why do they only collaborate with actors and singers who have corporate entertainment approval? why are they reinventing the wheel on buzzfeed when thousands of youtubers build perfectly stable careers with a mic and a camera, and sometimes hire an editor?

i guess my takeaway from this is that, at least they didnt break my heart as a fan entirely because they fundamentally misunderstood me. they did it, at least in part, because they do not understand how youtube works, or what part they play in it.

they dont understand how people use youtube. it is not a cinematic event worthy of the big tv, it is line goes up playing in the background for the 400th time as i wash my face and put my laundry away.

that is why they spent months and months planning this without ever noticing it was a bad idea, while millions of youtube viewers knew instantly. thats why they didn't start with a more moderate solution, why they never used their patreon properly, why they cared so much about the production value, why they thought a youtube audience, any audience at all, would jump at the chance to leave youtube.

bc youtube as a creator sucks, and we all know that, but youtube as a viewer is extremely comfortable. all i ask of youtube is to be mildly interesting in the background while i do other stuff. it is filler. some of the filler is extremely good, yes, but there is no room or reason in my life to give more of my money and attention to my filler, let alone to get a bigger screen for it.

and honestly, this is why i and others stayed on with the ghoul boys even though their quality dropped. because it's filler. im not even looking at the screen you apparently spent 100k on. im flipping my eggs. im washing my hair. im waiting for the bus with my headphones in and my phone in my pocket. thank you for being my background music. in return i will sit through your ads and push your view counter up by one. i may even hit the like button by accident bc my phone is in my pocket.

this is not to say i dont enjoy my filler. i would absolutely die without it. but it is not and never will be exchanged for the instances when i make popcorn in The Big Bowl and turn on a Real Movie on the Big Screen (my old laptop that is 15 whole inches) with my phone turned over so nothing can distract me.

my filler can't be my movie, and vice versa. nor should it be. but watcher doesnt understand that, apparently. they think youtube is cruelly preventing them from being netflix, and they think we want netflix, and they don't understand that, even with that half-assed apology that they didn't explain their dream correctly and they are jsut so destitute they had to take extreme measures after they went to europe 6 too many times...

there is a fundamental misunderstanding about how people use youtube , both as creators and as consumers. they didn't just misunderstand their fanbase. they continue to misunderstand the entire ecosystem. idk guys. maybe you should have learned something from those youtubers that you apparently think you are too good for.

and as for me, welp. i've booted people from my filler line-up for less. and there are soooooooooooooo many other fish in the sea, and they are not asking me to pay them 27 corporation salaries from my own pocket. they are asking for me to bump their view counter up by one.

goodbye boys. i really hope you find a way to fulfill yourselves artistically or whatever. but you have burned this particular bridge, like. forever. and i don't think i'm the only one who feels that way.

and not because i dont support people getting a living wage, you guilt-tripping vultures, or because i dont believe in following dreams and wishing on stars and whatnot.

but because i prefer to consume content from people who know what they're doing, and i simply no longer trust that includes you.

[gorgeouslypink]

hey pink!

i was hoping you could offer some encouragement and advice to me. basically the entire luckyvoidgirl thing yesterday, i acctually liked her success story, it made sense to me and i even listened to cee's subliminal and my parents ended up saying i don't have to go to this dumb event i was dreading so im even seeing successes with it

the thing was she said something that i can't stop thinking about. she said that a lot of tumblr is just misinformation and that the original blog that brought the void to tumblr was divineangelbee and she was exposed for lying about the void. everyone just copied whatever she said and kept spreading the same stuff she put out but her own experience was all a lie. it really got me thinking about how educated this community is about loa, like the void state and loa is so intertwined. luckyvoidgirl never said she used loa and she did something different but she got so much flack bc the void community on tumblr is so deeprooted in loa, possibly bc of angel. but anyways for a community that is so deeprooted in loa, so many people haven't entered and even worse, so many bloggers have been exposed for lying about their success story. the crazy thing is its so easy to lie on tumblr so the fact that so many have gotten caught makes me wonder how many we haven't even caught and really how does a community that knows loa struggle like this.

idk i just can't stop thinking about this and was hoping for some guidance.

hey love! im technically on break but you're not the only one spiraling so i rlly wanted to answer this.

first of all, i want to say she's just lying and this community is great but i can't. the truth of the matter is she is right. the person who brought the void to tumblr was @divineangelbee and she was the one who went around saying it was super easy and anyone can do it and she was and is still pretty much the blueprint for how a lot of voidstate tumblr thinks, but she was exposed for harassing her friends to enter the void for her. since then, many other bloggers who basically parrot the same thing as her have been exposed as well.

however i want to highlight something here. just because someone preaches something and it doesn't work out for them doesn't mean it's false. this is a super old argument, like back when bloggers like cleo and raven were super popular but people were arguing abt Sammy Ingram. basically she was a big affirm and persist girlie and people were going at her for saying this but never losing any weight (her main goal with manifestation was to lose weight but she never did and just gaslighted anyone who pointed it out, saying they were bodyshaming her). while something was off for sammy (maybe she didn't persist or maybe she just didn't bother doing her method at all), her method worked for so many people. there's boatloads and boatloads of success stories from her videos and methods. so someone can be lying about the void and still be giving legit advice.

however, the void state community on tumblr DOES have a lot of misinformation. ive seen people claim the void state is just SATS, just alpha state, theta state, delta state, it's acc just a placebo for you to guarantee manifestations, and all sorts of nonsense. now there's a new addition, people who tell you to pay money and they'll get you into the void state. it's honestly crazy how hard the community went against the luckyvoidgirl but not some of the other stuff i see here.

but anyways, what do you do?

you need to realize that you entering the void has nothing to do with the state of the void community on tumblr. people lying abt entering the void doesnt make the void a lie, it makes them a liar.

ive been in that position where i hailed bloggers and felt attached to this community so drama here messed with me internally. you shouldn't be doing that. please read my Doubts post where i talk about overcoming this and also provide many sources of proof that the void is real so that you don't need to rely on tumblr to know that:

also it helps to find a few reputable sources. i just wanted to give a shout out to someone rn: @voidprincessblog

her page is the page i would recommend to everyone. you can tell the amount of research and effort she puts into every post and you can trust her to be a reputable source on info.

im going to attach this other post of mine for you as well:

i wish you the best of luck on your void journey and hope this helps! 💟

[casual-socks]

HI IVE BEEN MASSIVELY HYPERFIXATED ON TMA FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND IVE SEEN MAYBE ONE (1) SINGULAR PERSON TALK ABOUT THIS and i am not even kidding when i say its been a passionate topic of conversation for that entire year. people know me for this. it comes up and my entire friend group SIGHS AUDIBLY because they know the 20 minute tangent i Will be taking

WHATTTTT IS GOING ON WITH GERARD KEAYS NAME. what. what???? okay i

youre telling me jonathan sims went to oxford college (relatively prestigious if my memory serves me correctly) for RESEARCH. for, to put it simply, READING. and he looks at the name gerard and goes Yeah looks like jared to me lets go with that!!! HELLO?? NO?? not even mentioning the fact that he is being what could easily be called possesed when reading these statements which leaves us with two options

1. the ENTIRETY OF ENGLAND CANNOT PRONOUNCE THE NAME GERARD.

2. jonathan sims is so monumentally stupid that he is somehow breaking this possesion for the 2 seconds it takes to say the name gerard (i love him i swear i will sound so so hateful for this entire post but its out of love)

and like??? its not even that EVERYONE is calling him jared? elias and gertrude have both called him gerard and thats just off the top of my head. i also think jon said it correctly ONEEEE SINGULAR TIME. Just the once.

now i feel it necessary to mention jared hopworth here as well. because why, why on gods green earth, would you name a character gerard. pronounce it jared. TURN AROUND AND GO. lets make another jared but this ones made out of meat and is sort of implied to not be too fond of gay people. Yeah he steals peoples bones. Yeah.

SO LIKE GERARD KEAY IS THE OBJECTIVELY SUPERIOR JARED EXCEPT HES NOT JARED HIS NAME IS LITERALLY GERARD?? FUCK YOU SO MUCH

so okay. sure whatever this podcast is sooo british that a bunch of people are just completely failing to pronounce gerard. sure. whatever you say.

GERRY?????? HIS FUCKING NICKNAME IS GERRY???????????? NO!!!!

NO. no. LOOK ME IN MY EYES. LOOK AT THE NAME GERARD. GER-ARD. AND YOURE TELLING ME YOURE GONNA CALL HIM JARED. SND THEN YOURE GONNA CALL HIM GERRY WITH A G???? gerry with a g. that is utterly ridiculous i cannot even believe this that is monumentally frustrating i cannot even begin to describe to you all the anger i have experienced over this particular bit because why on earth would you take that particular extra step??? gerard -> gerry. sure. thin ice, but sure. jared -> jerry. sure! yeah! makes sense! GERARD -> JARED -> GERRY? you must be playing some sick joke jonny sims. seriously. you are a cruel and usual man

now this is when i start to wind down, but far from where i finish. lets take a moment to really pause and soak in his actual name here.

gerard.

that is so unfortunate already i mean really, gerard is such a…. a name…. i mean his mom skins people and puts them in books and the cruelest thing i think she ever couldve done is honest to god name her son gerard.

keay.

now dont get me wrong. theres nothing seriously wrong with spelling it keay on principle. but god, really? youre gonna shove all this gerard gerry jared business in front of me and tell me his last name is just key but gone the extra mile. really feels like the cherry on top of a shit cake.

now if you consider gerards character i truly feel as though thats the deepest disservice here. gerard keay is an incredible character whos short appearance is so memorable and charming, and despite his VERY little screen time he still has an intriguing and well fleshed out character. really, gerard keay is so excellent character wise. But, every time i think about him for any more than 5 minutes, almost this exact rant is being told to whoever is unfortunate enough to be near me at the time.

another thing i think also really adds to this is just the nature of gerard keay. everything you can say about that guy could be ended with “and everone calls him jared for some reason”. hes emo and everyone calls him jared for some reason. his hair dye job is so miserable that EVERYONE mentions it and everyone calls him jared for some reason. he has mommy issues and everyone calls him jared for some reason.

okay i need to wrap this up before i start just repeating WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY for thousands of words but heres a graph i made for my friends in october 2022 when i was going on about this in the middle of my spanish class 👍👍

[crismakesstuff]

im so excited for invincible s2b now that it has an official release date… and that release date is march 14th

Let me talk about why that has me worried for the future of the show

‼️also no hate to any other shows mentioned‼️

I want to start with these two images :

invincible compared to the boys and now hazbin hotel has BARELY gotten any offical advertising on this level. The boys also got ads in times square for the promotion of s3 and the spin-off gen v im pretty sure but I could be wrong.

Don’t get me wrong I am rly happy to see an animated show get promotion at that level and I think more streaming services should do the same but why is it that invincible, a show on its SECOND SEASON gets nothing? The official invincible accounts have to do most of the heavy lifting themselves with generating hype on their twt,insta and tiktok. People complain that the accounts often make “an announcement for the announcement” but they have too! They literally have no other option! It sucks to see invincible show signs of a show thats clearly being tampered with by executive fuckery that has led so many other animated shows to an early grave.

Also I NEED people to realize that invincible’s release schedule NOT THE FAULT OF THE CREW

I see people regularly being rude and borderline aggressive to crew members online (which ive seen happen in other fandoms too) but the amount of people that were bitching and whining about the hiatus saying things like “this is why we shouldn’t let animators have good working conditions” and people agreeing with those takes were INSANE. The crew have no control over when the show drops or not, that is a decision left up to executives.

Now why could this delay be happening ?

a little bit ago amazon made this announcement to its customers:

this very well lines up with what many people began to speculate online as to why invincible had such a weird release schedule for season 2. They release the first half and get people hooked on the first 4 episodes ending on a massive cliffhanger and then release the second half after ads are introduced in hopes of making more money bc ppl don’t want ads in the middle of their shows.

Even then many people (myself included) think that it would’ve ultimately been better for the sake of the shows own hype to just wait to release them in March back to back all 8 episodes. Because the midseason break just kneecapped the hype the show had built up so hard and now many people are reasonably frustrated.

Because there was no clarity on when the show would be back. Most people assumed it would be a month long break for the holidays which shows have done for a long time. And then fake leaks came out that the show would come back in early January, and then the invincible accounts were virtually silent, and people were saying the break was intentional for fans to (recover) for ep 4. It was all over the place

What should fans do going forward?

Best thing you can do is stream the show legally if you can! TALK about invincible, don’t let the hype die out. Get this shit on trending ! Boost any official posts online showing that there is still a demand for this show! If you can, buy merch! Read the comics legally ! LET AMAZON KNOW WE STILL CARE ABOUT THIS SHOW!

again no hate to the other shows here bc ive watched all of them! I just want invincible to get some of that love too because this show is so amazing and you can tell how much love the crew has put into it <3

[pacifymebby]

Can you do a Peaky Blinders hc with a spooky, gothic reader? If you're taking requests :)

I received this ask so long ago (when i was binge watching Wednesday) and ive been proper looking forward to it so i hope i dont disappoint!!

Tommy

🌿Theres a lot of rumours that fly around town about you. You're infamous in Small Heath.. People say you're a witch, they say you can speak with the dead... Some people even say you are one of the dead...

🌿But Tommy doesn't believe a word of it... To him you're just any other woman...

🌿 At first he thinks you dress like that, walk around town with your dark smudged makeup and your gloomy expression to try and intimidate people... He thinks you're putting on airs

🌿And he's determined to suss you out, break through your shell and find out all about the "real you"

🌿 But you're also breath taking, beautiful. You have that cold, removed beauty.. You look deadly. Thats what makes you look so ghostly - its nothing to do with the colour of your skin and everything to do with the uncanny aura you possess, the way you drift down the street completely seperate from everything around you

🌿 He sees you as a misfit just like him, he isn't scared to talk to you but when you don't give him much to go off in conversation he struggles to begin with

🌿But then he grows to enjoy the silence. People do enough talking, and always about stupid inconsequential shit... No, sometimes silence is good, and he's glad he's found someone who he can just be silent with.

🌿 When you walk down the street together youre an imposing sight to behold. If there were rumours about the two of you before, they intesify now. The ghostly girl and the devil himself...

🌿People fear you both. They are superstitious about you, some old ladies make the sign of the cross when they see you.

🌿He loves it when you wear blood red, how it brings out the colour in your lips, its so striking on you, so seductive and glamorous. He's always buying you deep red velvet dresses to wear.

🌿 Often references the rumours which go around about you, just to tease you. You always have a dry smirk and a short and sweet, cutting come back when he does.

🌿Calls you his deadly nightshade, and foxglove, they start out as teasing nicknames but end up affectionate and intimate names for you.

🌿 He is obsessed with your eyes, transfixed by them, theyre so piercing and deep, if eyes are the key to ones soul yours are the murkiest most troubled of waters and Tommy would happily drown in them.

🌿 Will use the rumours about you to his advantage when it comes to trying to intimidate his enemies.

Alfie

🐻 Doesn't think he's ever seen a more gloomy girl than you, the first time he sees you you actually send a shudder down his spine not just because you're beautiful, but because your sullen expression makes it look like you're cursing everyone in present company, including him

🐻 And he can't help but wonder if you did in fact put a curse on him because you have bewitched him, body and soul, as it were. Your pretty little face haunts him and for days youre all he can think about.

🐻 He starts actually the paying attention to the gossip in the bakery, listening out for your name, wanting to know more about the mysterious, miserable looking girl he can't get off his mind

🐻 The next time he sees you he does his best to charm you, and it isnt that you don't like him, actually he's one of the only people in this god forsaken place that you do like, its that you don't really understand he likes you like that.

🐻 You're not so much as shy, more reserved and you can listen to alfie talk and talk and talk, you love listening to him talk actually, but you never want to interrupt him, so he thinks you're not interested in him at all

🐻 Which means he tries even harder to impress you, he wants to do things you'll enjoy so he takes you on walks to the cemetary and tells you stories about the people the graves belong to. Some of them are real stories some of them, you're not so sure.

🐻 The way you never express an emotion until someone really gives you a good reason to, it makes him try ten times harder to impress you when he's telling his stories or putting on his own airs. He hasn't had to act up this much for someone in so long and he loves it. Your dramatic appearance and aesthetic really plays well with his dramatic aura and way of speaking. All his theatrical mannerisms compliment your dramatic style.

🐻 He comes up with all sorts of off the cuff nicknames for you, "and how is my little rain cloud on this dismal morning?" "my sweet dahlia," "my little inferno," "my dusky nymph," they get more dramatic every time.

🐻 He enjoys trying to coax a smile out of you, you're so mysterious and for awhile all he wants to do is get under your skin, get to know you better than anyone else can. He's captivated by you and wants to know all your secrets

🐻 You're his muse during his Opera Era.

🐻 He absolutely loves the shock effect when he walks into a room or down the street with his gothic princess on his arm. The way he can feel all eyes on the two of you, how he knows everyone's a little bit more fearful when they see you, the witchy girl with all those mysteries and secrets.

🐻 He will ask you to tell him spooky stories when youre both settling down to go to sleeo, he likes to have you curled up in his arms, drawing patterns on his chest whilst you tell him stories about ghosts and vampires.

🐻 Until you actually do manage to spook him and he has to cut you off, pretending to be a big strong man who isn't scared "enough now my little black cloud, its getting late, sleep!"

🐻 Enjoys buying you lots of gothic jewelery, seeing you adorned in the black pearls and obsidian he gifts to you.

🐻 Does worry about you, hopes youre not really as sad as you seem, hopes that most of that gloom and seriousness is just an act, an aesthetic, worries he can't make you happy.

🐻 Finds your dry, sarcastic sense of humour very entertaining, how deadpan everything you say it. How most of the time people are never quite sure whether to laugh at your joke or not. He also adores how cutting you can be when you want to be, the insults shoot like daggers from your tongue so casually that whoevers on the recieving end never knows how to respond.

Arthur

🍂 Actually believes youre a ghost for far too long. The first time he sees you, his brothers observe how shocked he is, they recognise the fear/uncertainty in his eyes and they know they can take the piss.

🍂 "You alright there Arthur you look like you've seen a ghost?" tommy and John sniggering when Arthur nods in your direction, asks who you are, only to be met with his brothers frowns. "Who're you lookin at brother? All I sees Uncle Charlie..." "She's right there next to em..." "Think the drinks gone to your head Arthur..."

🍂 So he's actually terrified of you, every time he sees you he thinks he's going a little bit mad. Until one day youre talking to Polly and he comes rushing to his Aunts side all "Pol, Polly thank god," when she turns to him with a confused look in her eyes he whispers "you can see her too Im not going mad..." Polly laughs at him, "fuckin hell arthur of course i can fuckin see her shes standing right there..."

🍂 You're actually relieved to find out that the older mans apparent dislike of you (he always left the room when you entered, always looked at you with an abject horror in his eyes) is quite simply the result of a rather amusing trick thats been played on him

🍂 Polly leaves the pair of you alone together, recognising Arthurs sudden shyness, and when youre alone with him he smirks sheepishly and admits, "Well am glad youre not dead or a ghost or somet..." "I wouldn't mind being a ghost..." "I didn't mean anythin by it am sure you'd make a lovely ghost..."

🍂 Arthur gets quite flustered and trips over his sentences a lot when hes talking to you, because the fact that you don't give much away makes him nervous. You have an intimidating aura, and the fact that you're the most beautiful woman hes ever seen... He never knows how to act or whether he's managing to win you over or not.

🍂 You really confuse him sometimes, the way you arent disturbed by blood or fighting, the way the violence and bleak dark underside of the work him and his brothers do doesnt seem to shock you at all.

🍂 It frustrates him the way you like to go on walks in the rain until youre freezing and soaked to the bone, or the way that if you prick your finger or accidentally bite your lip to hard and draw blood, you'll stop to admire the blood instead of rushing to help yourself.

🍂 Can't decide whether he likes the fact that nothing intimidates you or not. On the one hand he adores your sharp wit, on the other hand he knows its going to get you into trouble one day.

John

🌼 I can't even begin to explain how desperate to make you smile this man is, he sees it as a challenge, a competition even.

🌼 Actually it is a competition between him and his brothers, theyve all been playing this game - who can make the mysterious, miserable girl smile first - John is determined to win

🌼 But not just to get a one up on his brothers, its because he genuinely does want to make you smile... Youre so dazzlingly pretty anyway, your piercing gaze, the downward pout of your lips, that gloomy faraway look you always have about you... Hes so drawn to you

🌼 Its a real opposites attract situation, hes always been known for his lighthearted playful, laidback ways, whereas your reputation around the city is one of despair, sorrow, misery.

🌼 Hes thinks you're beautiful, your mysterious, striking appearance, the way a shadow seems to hang over you at all times.

🌼 At first you dismiss every move he makes, shooting him down with dry cutting remarks but John is only made more determined by these rebuttals. And the more he tries with you the more he chips away at that steely exterior.

🌼 His nickname for you is Sunshine, he finds it very funny and feels like hes being very clever. He means them all affectionately though.

🌼 Is extra silly trying to make you laugh and when he finally succeeds hes so smug and proud of himself, you have to admit it is actually kind of adorable.

🌼 Finds all of the rumours which go round about you incredibly amusing, definitely gets defensive of you though, how dare people make out like youre a witch, youre his girl, no one gets away with calling his girl a witch, or saying discriminatory things like "be careful she'll put a gypsy curse on you" John will straight up fight anyone he hears saying anything like that about you... Even if in private the two of you make jokes like that all the time.

🌼 Hes the only person who can make you laugh and smile and hes incredibly proud of that fact. No one believes him when he tells them that you smile for him though which is infuriating for him.

🌼 At first he's incredibly unnerved by the fact that you're not bothered about blood or violence at all. When he comes home to the Garrison one evening all bloodied up from a fight you don't even bat an eye, you just come to him, study his wounds and say very matter of factly, "You're going to need stitches but i guess i can manage that."

🌼 He never quite gets used to it though and hes not sure how to feel about the fact that you never seem phased about anything. He's quite an emotional man and the fact that he never sees you get scared confuses him, he knows men are sposed to hide that shit but women are meant to be softer, so why aren't you.

🌼 Over time he comes to realise that you do feel fear and you do worry about him when he's been through the wars, you just don't see the point in fussing when it's wasting time which could be spent helping him. And the closer the two of you get the more open to showing him your feelings you are. You don't like crying in front of people but you have done in front of him and hes always been there to hold you and comfort you and let you know its alright.

Bonnie

🍀At first people are confused as to why the sunny, cheeky, seemingly optimistic boy is so taken in by you, but to him and to you, its clear what you have in common. The two of you both have a dark side, perhaps you express them differently but they are there. You wear your darkness on your sleeve, dark eyes, dark hair, permanent sullen expression, you're pretty but you look so sad all of the time. Around the camp youre known as the Grey Girl, because you seem so gloomy and ghostly all of the time

🍀 There are rumours about you that say you're half dead, that you only have half a soul, that you can see and speak to the dead. None of its true but youd be lying if you said you didn't like playing up to it.

🍀Bonnies darkness is in his determination and his honest view of the world. He's seen and done evil things and he doesnt really believe the world to be a good place, he admires your honesty, the way you dont feel the need to hide your gloom.

🍀 And he feels a persistent connection with you, he just knows he understands you completely and thats why he wants to get closer to you, to show you that you're not alone in this world, that hes right there with you, that he knows what its like.

🍀 Growing up in close proximity to one another, he never really had to try and "get to know you" as such, because he's known you since you were born, but he did have to try and get close to you, especially as you got older and began to isolate yourself more and more.

🍀He was the only lad to keep talking to you when you got "spooky" as the other kids called it, and hes the only person you ever really enjoy spending your time with. Nobody can understand how you tolerate him, when you don't seem to be able to tolerate anyone else, but you warm to him, rather than being like a warm summers day, he's like the little beam of moonlight cutting through the rain in the middle of the night. He makes the whole gloomy world softer and easier to bare.

🍀 He loves holding your hands, they're always freezing so he's always making a show of trying to rub them warm.

🍀 Hes very defensive of you because he believes youre misunderstood. He doesnt like the way some people laugh at you and he's definitely clipped a number of the younger lads around the ear when theyve made some joke about you talking to the dead.

🍀 Futher to that he's definitely gotten into whole fights with outsiders who have said things about you being a witch, men who have cat called you, been met with a sharp response from you and then said, "ooo whatre you gonna do about girl? Put one of your gypsy curses on me?" they think they're funny until their nose comes into contact with Bonnies fist.

🍀Every time you tell him he shouldn't, you are so determined to look after yourself, and every time he just shrugs and smiles and says that he likes fighting for you. Reminding you again that you aren't alone.

🍀 He calls you Trouble, or Little Rook when he's feeling cute.

🍀 Has definitely let you smudge black eyeliner beneath his eyes once or twice, it makes you laugh which is a rarity.

🍀 You look so striking when youre sitting among the drunken rabble who come to watch his fights. You dressed in all black, your ghostly aura, your fixed and intense gaze piercing, locked on him. You have this stubborn determination about you when you watch him and people have often accused you of "fixing" the match yourself, putting a spell on Bonnies competition to make them weak.

🍀 Bonnie gets annoyed when people make those accusations, he gets stubborn and defensive about it because a) "they only say it cause we're gypsies!" b) "And she isnt a fucking witch, its disrespectful" and c) "I don't need a fuckin spell to beat these soft lads in a fuckin fight, am Bonnie fuckin Gold arent i..."

🍀 On these occasions you're the only person who can really calm him down or settle him. Your quiet, calm, dry and cutting sense of humour the only thing that can put a smile on his face and stop him killing someone.

🍀 Your favourite thing to do is ride horseback with him across the moores in the mist, those gloomy gothic landscapes are perfect to you. You like being alone with him in the fog, feeling like youre the only living boy and girl in the world.

Isaiah

🐀Honestly he definitely thinks youre killer hot, your elegant dark clothes, the lace you often wear. The way you do your make up dark and smokey around the eyes. All he wants to do when he sees you, is take you somewhere dark and shadowy to do dark deeds with you

🐀 He definitely tries to flirt by teasing you, definitely made the mistake of using the phrase "cheer up love, it might never happen," the first time he met you, to which he was met with the iciest glare and the most cutting "that would be a shame."

🐀He is a little like John in that all the nicknames he chooses for you are overly affectionate and sweet on purpose just to embarrass you. He likes "sunshine" "princess" "sweetie pie" best because whenever he uses those names for you the glare you fix him with is so cold and sharp. It both amuses and attracts him.

🐀Really really enjoys watching you cut down other people with your sharp remarks, kind of likes the fact that you dont need looking after. You can stand up for yourself and he really admires that about you.

🐀Buys you lots of pretty black and red jewlery.

🐀Honestly hes the one spreading rumours about you, he finds it funny to put the fear of god into the men down the Garrison telling them all about his girlfriend who has definitely murdered men before.

🐀 Still, if other men cross a line, Isaiah might be the one that kills them. He can say whatever he likes about his girl but if any one else crosses a line then theyre for it.

🐀 Once Tommy gave him the job of disposing of a dead body and you asked to see it (morbid curiosity) and his first response was to get really angry at you, because why the fuck would you want to see that?! When your response was to simply shrug your shoulders all "fair enough i was just curious," he softens a bit, hes unnerved because you dont seem to give a shit either way and hes confused by that.

🐀He doesnt let you see it though and he tells you never to ask him or any of the peaky boys that ever again.

🐀 Hes obsessed with your cold touch, loves feeling your icy fingers dance over his skin or linger on his neck/cheek. Your lips are often cold when you kiss his cheek and it gives him those good shivers.

🐀 Teasingly makes the sign of the cross whenever you enter the room just to see you roll your eyes and have you call him ridiculous.

🐀Your favourite time to go out for walks is the middle of the night and it drives him insane because its not safe "even if you look like youve just popped in from hell, its dangerous!" so he loses a lot of sleep going on walks with you during the witching hour.

🐀You have a reputation as a couple, him for being a little unpredictable and you for being predictably sharp and cutting. People know not to cross you and it often only takes one sharp look from you with your piercing gaze for someone to think twice about what they might be about to say.

Michael

☘️ You're his Raven, he's well read and he often calls you Carmilla, feme fatale, Carmen.

☘️ Buys you black petunias which look like this...

☘️ You have a really gothic looking house/garden with all these black flowers growing out the front and in the windows. People say you live in a haunted house and they warn Michael against calling on you, but Michael's mother is Polly Gray so he isnt scared of ghosts. He doesnt believe in them.

☘️ You wear so much velvet and he cant keep his hands off you, he loves smoothing his hands over your waist, feeling the soften off your dress and the curve of your body.

☘️ "That girls not to be trusted Michael, she's so clearly put a spell on you..." "Maybe she has," he shrugs smirks and ends any conversation which brings you into suspicion like that

☘️ Secretly enjoys the fact that people are a little bit scared of his girl, he likes the fact hes seeing a dangerous woman, it makes you a dangerous couple. More than that though, he likes the fact he doesnt have to worry too much about competition. Most men are scared of you afterall. It makes him feel powerful that he's managed to win you.

☘️ He won't take you seriously when you say spooky things or whatever, whenever you try to use your witchy reputation to prove yourself to Michael he just chuckles and tells you to settle down, he's stubborn about it too. "Put on all the airs you like when it comes to those other men my little Raven but they won't work on me..."

☘️ He likes when you sing your gloomy, spooky little folk songs for him, or when you put on slow, eerie tunes and dance to them in that strange sensual way you do. (im thinking audrey twin peaks style) he could watch you dancing for hours, so easily transfixed by you.

☘️Your darkness and spooky reputation actually ingratiates you to tommy so michael gets more respect from tommy because of you. Tommy has a real soft spot for you though and michael often gets jealous, worried that if tommy ever decides to get too close you wont be able to resist the older mans darkness.

[mydetheturk]

ive been trying to come up with a way to talk about my take on The Argument, but honesty i can't get past these pages where Wolfwood shoots Rai-Dei. there are four panels on this two page spread, and no words, but god there's so much said in it. i keep flipping back and forth between it and the next page like "holy shit wolfwood. holy shit wolfwood." like. like we know. we've known since volume two of trigun that wolfwood was one of the GHG. we've known! this is knowledge that we have had for multiple volumes.

i literally cannot get over the expression on wolfwood's face in the pages leading up to their fight (and this expression lingers through their fight, mind you)

like

hellO????

like!!! this is the start of their argument!!! wolfwood cannot let vash die. and if he has to kill to do it he's going to kill to do it. vash is supposed to suffer. he cannot suffer if he's dead.

and this is the lead up to their argument. they have such philosophical differences about life, Vash believing every life is precious and that everyone can change, where Wolfwood's convinced that people won't. he thinks Vash is foolish - is naive for not taking the GHG seriously. Wolfwood wants - Wolfwood needs - to know Vash is taking this seriously, is prepared to kill if Vash wants to keep everyone else alive.

Wolfwood needs to know Vash is prepared for the shit Wolfwood knows - or suspects, if he doesn't know off hand - Legato is going to send.

hence this panel.

(yes i did just straight up copy the alt text from the post i made about being unable to cope with this panel. it ruins me.)

And then Vash reads him for fucking filth.

Vash's heart is breaking for Wolfwood, who cannot see a way out of the grave he's dug. Vash doesn't want to kill but he's broken for the way Wolfwood cannot see any other way to survive.

Like. the whole of page 106 hurts, but the way the Overhaul translated these panels is. Oof.

(the Dark Horse translation differs. Vash's speech reads: You... told me back then... that my face looked better with a real smile. If you could see yourself through my eyes now... You'd see a man forcing himself to play the Devil while his own heart cries out.

It's a little more poetic, but both of the statements cut Wolfwood to the core.)

They're talking past one another! they care so much about one another but their love languages differ so hard. (and i don't even mean this in a shipping way tho you could take it that way)

Augh. They're idiots. We'll see later that Wolfwood knows what Vash is, because of his experiences with Knives. (Wolfwood was there when Knives got reborn, after all) and he's seen Vash fight. He just. Doesn't know if Vash can kill one to save the many. (The start of their first fight in Stampede, their first true fight, is because Wolfwood shoots Rollo/Monev the Gale. Vash asks why. Wolfwood says its out of mercy.)

Anyway, there's some other really good meta about this fight (@needle-noggins has a nice breakdown of it) and if/when I find the posts I'll drop links in the comments/reblog with them.

I'll also upload what i could figure out of the transcript when I read through their argument in order to figure out how i was even going to talk about it to google docs and drop the link to that in the comments as well.

If you're still here, idk, Vash read Wolfwood for filth in front of God and everybody, which in this case was an empty town, Rai-Dei's corpse, and Zazie, who's been watching them for who knows how long at this point.

[kaicubus]

Dating Wednesday Addams

warnings ✩° : mentions of violence, thats it.

pairing ✩° : wednesday addams x gn!reader

authors note ✩° : someone tell me not to get bangs like hers bc i already have curtain bangs and ive been prolonging my creepification but now its gettin real hard.

- Once you get close to Wednesday, keep in mind it’ll take a while, she kind of owns you in a way. Not in like a weird way or anything, but you're her special Y/n and hers only. That means that if anyone comes close to you with any romantic attraction, they're basically nothing but a corpse. Anything else she doesn't really care.

- At first she thought her feelings were pity towards you, then interest, then basically anything other than love because Wednesday Addams simply does not fall in love. That’s for her parents and her parents only.

- But maybe she’ll try just this once just for you.

- If you ever have any enemies or people who dislike you, chances are the person will be missing an appendage or two the next day. Bonus points to her if they actually put their hands on you, because that’s when she goes all out and reverts back to her childhood ways aka mindless torture, which is arguably worse than losing a finger or an ear.

- Not big on physical affection, I see her love language as more silent quality time. Maybe spending nights in her dorm as she works on her novel, not talking or anything but just being there is more than enough for her.

- Not big on physical affection YES but she will occasionally, very very rarely touch your pinky with hers as a signal she wants to hold your hand. Again, she’s ‘shy’ when it comes to that stuff, so when she instigates things it’s very slow and cautious.

- Wednesday secretly really loves when you get really excited about something she’s working on, example : her novel ((i think her stories are neat...)) and she even breaks her persona with a little smile, letting you know she appreciates the positive feedback.

- Stares at you SO much, it’s just a little creepy...psh nahhhh...but she finds herself mindlessly looking at you at multiple times of the day, out in public, in your dorm, in class, she basically is just staring holes into your head. Not out of violence or anything, she just stares. Doesn’t blink. Just stares.

- When you catch her looking at you, she gets the tiniest bit ‘nervous’ and starts blinking quickly and looking away. That’s also how you mess with her if you’re into that.

- If she feels extra nice one day, she’ll lend you a book of hers to show her admiration towards you. Especially if it’s one of her favorite authors. Or a hardcover.

- To be honest, I don't see Wednesday being the type to kiss you often, or even at all. But that’s not a bad thing! Many relationships make do without that kind of stuff. However there are some times where she’ll kiss the back of your hand, as she’s seen her father on endless occasions with her mother, because she just appreciates you so much—even if she doesn't show it expressively.

- Calling her Weekend instead of Wednesday as a joke and her actually liking the nickname to the point if you call her Wednesday in the same tone you do when you call her Weekend she gets kind of upset.

- Using love with Wednesday feels a bit off, but she really enjoys listening to her old music with you. You even learn how to use a record player for her ((if you don't know already, which i don't so...)) and now you're able to freely switch songs and play the ones both you and her like, like La Bruja by Tlen Huicani and Lino Chavez.

- She doesn't get jealous but if she sees you with another person and laughing with them the same way you laugh with her, she gets VERY offended. Wednesday will pop up behind you as you're talking to a friend or a classmate and stare there giving them the Kubrick stare until they back away and leave out of sheer fear and discomfort.

- No matter what you do, Wednesday is always super impressed. If you stand up for yourself? Impressed. If you get a good grade on a test you've been studying for? Impressed. If you straight up vandalize something and get away with it? Impressed.

- Scary. Movie. Dates. No, not Legally Blonde. But like actual horror movies and psychological thrillers that she actually likes. I’m talking Scream ((jenna ortega reference)), Pet Sematary, and all the Saws series. ((i’m so sorry if this is inaccurate but these are all movies i personally like but am also afraid of, especially pet sematary...but basically just any old horror movie, she’s not too picky when it comes to horror.))

- Always sneaking off together to solve mysteries or explore at night. There’s also moments where she runs way faster than you, so she ends up grabbing your hand and pulling you to safety without another thought.

[sillyyuserr]

Why the “betrayal” in chapter 108 is so interesting to me (spoilers for chapter 108 + 110)

Another short terukane analysis, if you can even call it that. Posting at midnight again :3

So this section is started when the big clock is stopped, and akane + teru head to no. 1’s boundary to see whats going on. They see hanako frozen, bully him, yadayadayada not important

Very very shortly after they get into the boundary, akane is approached by an owl. More specifically a “messenger”, which we can assume was sent by kako or mirai or some other clock keeper person.

the owl flies up to akane, lands on his arm, and tells him something. This “something” seems to shock akane. Well, less of shock factor more of unwant.

He clearly does not want to comply with what the owl is asking of him/ordering him to do, but again, akane will complain, but when it comes down to it, he’ll do It. He seems somewhat distressed, but when teru is in frame with him his anxious expression disappears and is replaces with that of a content/not particularly happy nor sad nor anything face.

Then we see him start to talk about the clock to teru, and mention something he needs to “ammend”.

Then, this godforsaken panel comes next

Now that you understand whats going on i can break it down. we can generally assume this owl told him “stamp him for the trial” or smthn like that, but why would he be so distressed and uncomfortable with doing this?

He visibly wants to fight back. He really really doesn’t wanna do this. But why? Maybe he doesn’t wanna lose teru’s trust again, maybe he just doesn’t wanna go through with the trial, but no matter what he wants, he goes through with it

if you know teru’s character, like really know his character, you’d know trust is like a big thing for this dude. And he trusts him completely. He trusts him in the place where his supernatural abilities are at their strongest. Akane told him to follow the bird, and he did it without question. Putting his back to him while they walked together, being extremely vulnerable in a place where akane (a supernatural aka his literal born enemy) is at his most powerful

We cant see his face, so we dont know what he’s thinking, but quickly akane steps forward, and hits him with the mallet, and this panel is born

This, along with the next two or three panels have alot so lets break these down even further.

for starters, akane knew teru well enough to know how he would react, and moved his hand (that was guarding his sword) away

And teru’s face is very telling aswell. Ive never seen him make this face before its kinda funny. He looks as if someones just ripped something from him. He knew akane was behind him, but he didnt do this. Who did this to him. Wouldnt akane shout oh i dont know “hey pres watch out” or something?? Whats happening??

he turns and the one thing he was hoping wasn’t true, was true

It WAS him. Teru’s had a record of responding to distressed moments by taking it out on other people via violence, feeling betrayed, he immediately turns to attack akane.

And akane hits him with the “forgive me president.” with the title for added sincerity, showing he really does care

Teru not stopping after akane’s told him to multiples times, akane was forced to put him into an even more vulnerable position, this time, without room for withdrawl

During the trial (chapter 110) alot of people were shitting on teru for not doing anything while akane was being beat up by tsukasa, but dudes in a restraint ofc he cant fucking do anything, he said it himself 😭

Teru has always seen akane as human, and thats i think one of the things akane likes ab him. Even after literally being half supernatural and welding inhuman abilities, he still sees him as human. Snd therefore treats him like one. But this “betrayal” i feel like changed something for him. He refers to his as a “clock keeper” rather than “aoi” or any other name

(looking at him, signifying its directed at him too)

Case and point, teru and akane trust and care for eachother (or at least used to) even if they dont say it :3

i feel like theres more but i cant think of anything. I also don’t even know what point i just made here so if u don’t understand, i dont either ur not alone

[crushedsweets]

do you perhaps have any or more ticciwork hcs.. like how they are with each other 😊😊 !1!1 idk!! any hcs that has something to do with them together. I heart them

hi anon. i got u . i got u . i got u. this is more how they meet in my au. ill do cutesy headcanons eventually. i tried to break this up into different sections but its kinda long and a lot to swallow ... sorry LOL. it doesnt even get outright shippy/romantic but its cool

OK BACKSTORY

ok so in my au. the operator is what drove toby to kill his dad, and he spent a couple months under the operators influence acting like an entire menace. tim and brian got orders from slender to intercept this, but slender realized toby would follow like a loyal dog after being 'saved'. so proxy toby it is.

clockwork was under the operators influence right before her trip to the psychiatric ward, and it lasted maybe 7 months? luckily for Her, her family's death and her disappearance went relatively under the radar cuz theyre seen 'trailer trash' with no friends/presence in any community. she's fighting to hold down a job since she keeps getting fired for going weeks with no contact.

ok HOW THEY MET

they met because toby was stalking a household that natalie wanted to kill the dad of. natalie would be in the middle of an operator episode, where she's behaving erratically, her eyes were glossed over, she is SIGNIFCANTLY stronger than usual. typically, toby would be much stronger than this lanky malnourished girl, but not that night.

they got into a bit of a tussle that Toby's struggling to win. a light in the house turned on cuz of the noise and toby was like Oh fuck this. and he runs off. the flash of the light kinda disturbed clocky and she half regains her senses and runs off too, but still not fully in control. she doesnt realize that shes following toby, but the operator knows this is another chance to kill one of slender's proxies (plus the operator was in control of toby a year prior, before slender took over).

eventually tobys back on the path to the forest, walking through some rural cornfield area and thinking long and hard about nat. and shes looking for him. shes being insanely fucking creepy and slashing at the corn and bushes (she has a machete now). toby tics, and she yells about how she hears him, etc. he's starting to piece together that shes under the operators influence and hes like 'slenders gonna be so hyped i got him a new proxy' (slender does not want her .)

HOW THEY....became friends..?

he eventually plays a game of cat and mouse and gets her to follow him to the cabin. pretty quickly tim and brian are up and they get her down, duct taped her arms, tied her to a random pipe in the kitchen, and spend some time debating on what to do. shes swapping between screaming, thrashing, foaming at the mouth and just sitting there silently staring off into the void and swaying. eventually she gets out of the episode and she's acting normal, albeit angry and covered in dirt. they get her off the pipe and talk to her.

ive mentioned how slender um kinda grossly leaks an inky liquid.... and it has effects... ok yea drink that and the operator eventually loses control over you. toby kinda explains it to her. in complete desperation and exhaustion, natalie's like "you can fix this ? you can stop the amnesia and waking up in random peoples blood??? you can stop me from going into random fucking cornfields acting like a monster????". toby was like yea:3 SURE CAN

but it hurts. its physically painful, mentally exhausting, it's almost like withdrawal symptoms. It can take a couple weeks to months to finally get the operator off, and multiple doses of the ink. again, tim and brian do NOT live full time at the cabin, so she's left with toby mostly. its really uncomfortable. theyre both awkward assholes. tobys intentionally blunt, natalie grew up with no filter. but toby has this weird complex where he's convinced the boss is gonna be soooo happy that toby did this 'for him.' so he keeps it up.

usually they just kinda coexist.. but tobys on edge all the time. the second she gets weirdly quiet and starts spacing out, toby gets kinda aggressive and starts suggesting he needs to restrain her or some weird shit. they have gotten into another physical fight when she was in another episode, but tim and brian pulled them off of eachother. she rarely remembers it, and toby doesnt bring it up cuz hes embarrassed that natalie is as strong as him when under the influence. but she's ..kinda like a willing prisoner ? she really doesnt wanna be there but she wants to be done with feeling possessed. occasionally she gets really violent and her eyes roll back and she has to be duct taped and locked in a room over night or else she might kill toby. the next morning toby mumbles apologies as he cuts off the tape and rubs her wrists for her. she understands, even if she hates it.

AFTER THE OPERATOR

a couple weeks go by of pain, then a month of normalcy. the operator gets his claws off natalie and she's like. ugh. ok. that fucking sucked ass. fuck you guys. but thanks.

slenderman doesnt want her. she literally doesnt care that he doesnt want her tho LMFAO she didnt want to be a proxy. tobys pissed and is mad at her for like a week even tho its not even her fault. but anyway..

tim hated being around her because 1. it hurts to see a young girl crying and writhing in pain 2. it hurts to see what you used to be like. brians chill, he always fed her, he's brought her some books and stuff.

but, of course, she spent the most time with toby - and they got closer. theyd sit and talk, he'd bring her around the forest, kinda explain a lot of um. The Lore. LOL. toby introduced her to jack, theyve gone swimming together, taught her how to cut down trees, she's drawn him and he's in awe. she loves books and stories but has pretty bad dyslexia, so he read a book out loud for her once. they kinda both poked fun at eachother ('ur stutter is making this annoying' 'at least i can fucking read') and ended up never doing that again LMFAOOO but he started hooking up audio books for her. it was kinda cringe for them both, but a sweet gesture

she finally started working as a waitress/bartender in this underground shady ass bar. the patrons started to love her bc she's tall like a model, long hair, nice voice, witty, has a sharp tongue. fits right in with the grimy atmosphere. toby gets grossed out anytime he comes to visit her/pick her up and middle aged men are saying bye to her. he doesnt know if its jealousy or if its generally just ew. she rightfully complains about it tho so he's like 'heh.... knew it.... she wouldnt want those guys.....' hes so annoying i love him

he helps fix up a nice little barn for her, cuz slender gets riled up anytime she's at the cabin for more than a few days. something something about not wanting a distraction or 'outsiders' there.

but yeah :3

they never end up dating in my lore though. they never even admit having feelings for eachother. nats real good at pushing these things down, and toby just doesnt think its worth it. (plus i want toby to also have a little arc with jack.. LMFAOAOAO SORRY im a ticciwork and ticcijack shipper my bad).

eventually they do stop having feelings for eachother, but everything remains the same. theyre really close. theyre cute. i love them.

thank you anon

[antiwhores]

I really loved ur short story ‘Bakugou’s game’ I would love to see a part 2 of it. Maybe a few months later or something reader is trying to get over bakugou and is really cold to him when he tries to fix their relationship and he sees her at a party with a date and he gets super jealous and possessive after seeing them together. Which leads to make up sex and hopefully reader giving bakugou a chance to make it up to her. Or be totally angsty and make reader pull a uno reverse of him.

Bakugou’s Game: Part 2.

Requested by: @jasmixs @ooftrain-12 @tsukikoxo @coffeeginie

Part one: https://antiwhores.tumblr.com/post/693877274172440576/bakugous-game

Sorry this shit took so long frfr. Ive been SO busy lately to the point its actually insane. Havent had time to even write a sliver of this. Yall probably lost interest but ill post it anyone out of respect for the og request

Warnings: Jealousy, minor violence (reader slaps bakugou again LOL L bozo), rough sex, creampie, happy ending and shit, make up sex, NOT EDITED - BARE WITH ME HERE.

Bakugou was misreable without you, the break up eats him away until he forced himself to go out to speak to you.

Bakugou never understood the idea of someone being so sorrowful about a break up that they forget their pride and beg for the person back. That is, until now. He’s starting to understand why people take break ups so badly. Cause he’s taking it badly.

Everyday is a new thing to notice. Everyday is a new thing he didn’t even know he was used to after dating you so long gone.

When he came home to his apartment you weren’t there to welcome him. When he walked past the bathroom you wernt there to sing horrible on purpose in the shower to annoy him. When he ate at the table you wernt there to tell him about your day in an exaggerated tone. When he sat down on the bed without changing you wernt there to yell at him for his outside clothes touching the clean mattress. When he spiced his food to hot you wernt there to dramatically cough and pretend to fall over. When he woke up in the middle of the night you weren’t there to tell him to “close them damn eyes again”.

Everything was different. He hasn’t moved a single bit of his furniture yet the house changed drastically.

He started to lack on his chores, throwing himself into his hero work. He exhausted his body to the point of throwing up. That and the combination of the lack of sleep and the lack of rest.

He had nightmares of how he acted. It would usually play out with you doing what he did to you. It was insufferable. Every single thing in his dream was something that he’s done before.

He looked down at his phone with his newly founder insomniac eyes.

Doll, Im so sorry. It will NEVER happen again. Im a fucking idiot and I’d do anything to make it up to you. Please just respond back.

Read 34 days ago

Y/n, I see you reading my texts. Just please let me apologize.

Read 33 days ago

Do you still want that car? I know you told me to not buy it but I’ll order it without a second thought if you talk to me. Please.

Read 32 days ago

Okay, Im sorry about the car thing. That was weird. I don’t think you’re a prize to be won with money. I just want you back.

Seen 31 days ago

Stopping by your house today, I need to see you.

Seen 29 days ago

Im sorry. I can’t loose you y/n. I cant.

Seen 27 days ago

My mom is so mad at me. I dont blame her, loosing you is like loosing half of my heart.

Seen 25 days ago

Its been so long since I’ve lived without you I dont know how to do its

Seen 23 days ago

Please love me again.

Seen 22 days ago

I know you see these. Do you enjoy seeing me like this?

Seen 19 days ago

I love you.

Seen 16 days ago

No other person will ever count to me. That stupid bitch at the bar is nothing compared to you. None of them are.

Seen 15 days ago

I left a letter under your mattress. Please read it.

Seen 12 days ago

Coming to your house tomorrow, I really need to see you. I’ll do anything.

Seen 9 days ago

The notes still here, you really break my heart. You know that?

Seen 8 days ago.

I still love you.

Seen 5 days ago

Ill fucking never look at another girl again. Swear.

Seen 4 days ago

I love you even more today

Seen 2 days ago

Whenever you’re ready.

Sent just now.

It was true, you read every single text. You read them almost 10 times over. You weren’t ready to respond.

At first, Bakugou’s texts confused you. This was against his pride. He would never suck up to you like this. So you laid it down to drunk, sad, sleepy, and/or desperate texts. It wasn’t his character so naturally you went looking for answers.

The last month has been terrible for you too. You were staying at your bestfriends house, who was GLAD to have you.

You avoided everything that mentioned him. News, certain social media platforms, public areas, etc. if it wasnt for your friend, you wouldve never gone out.

After that last text he stopped reaching out for the coming months. Things were peaceful, you were okay.

You hadn’t gone back to any club/parties since the incident. But your friend, being a party person, forced you out to a nearby club. They also made you agree to going with this guy, whatever his name was, to have a little blind date. Your friend figured it’d been a couple months and you needed to touch some bitches. You were against it, still getting over Bakugou, but they used the favor you owed them to seal the deal.

So now you found yourself at the club, chatting with a guy at one of the booths. He was actually tolerable, not your type romantically, but someone you’d be friends with. You supposed that the first step to a relationship was being friends so you continued to persue.

He was rather handsome too, not godly handsome like your ex- you needed to stop doing that. Comparing everyone to Bakugou is whats gonna make you single for life. Bakugou was not an easy man to pass.

You laughed at his joke as he continued to tell it. “Yeah man, she was crazy! She ended up calling my mom and telling her that I had set the house on fire! My mom was worried to death! Then she hit me after she found out the house was okay like I told her!”

You shook your head, “Exes man, I swear!” He leaned down towards you, “You got any exes that make you want to start a war?” You immediately nodded, “My last ex was a handful.” “Did he tell your mom you set the house on fire too?” You laughed, “Nahh, thatd be so much easier to manage. My ex, well, he-“

Prying red eyes watched you from the corner of the room. Bakugou didn’t even wanna come to this club tonight. He was, like you, forced to come out of pity of his friends. To think he could’ve missed the chance to see you and this guy flirting and laughing together.

It could be a close friend, maybe a relative, he didnt know. He wasnt close enough to make oht a single word. There was some part of him that aas glad for that nad another part that was incredibly annoyed.

No matter who it was, Bakugou’s hands started to smoke up. His teeth gritted hard against eachother. While he was moaping and suffering you were over here on what looks like a date?

It took everything in him to not just stomp over there and drag you away from the piece of shit. He was glad he hadn’t enough alcohol in him to follow those urges… to a degree.

So he waited. He waited for an opportunity. And he sure as hell got one.

“Oh!” You gasp at the ringing of your phone. You tilt the screen towards you before looking back up at your date with apologetic eyes. “Sorry, I absolutely need to take this!” He laugh, “its okay!” His back cracks when he lifts his arms to stretch. “I needa go to the restroom anyway!”

You smiled that smile that he loved. The smile that should only be directed at him. Not at some random guy you just met.

He stalked carefully behind the guy until he was walking into the back hallway with him. The guy barely had a chance to comprehend a single thought before he was slammed up against the wall with his shirt fisted by the blonde.

The man looked startled and freightened. Who wouldnt be? Bakugou’s stare was one to rival Medusa’s. He felt frozen by the pure hatred glazed over.

“What the hell are you doing with y/n.” The sentence came out between his teeth. The man put his hands up defensively, “Aye man, we’re just on a blind date!”

Bakugou’s palms sparkled threateningly, “Im gonna give yoh one chance,” He leaned down to be exactly in the guys face, “Fuck. Off.”

That was all the guy needed before he was out of the door and on his way home. An immediate wave of relief washed over him at the thought of the date finally ending. The positive emotions quickly disappeared at the sound of a famiiar voice, his favorite voice. “Seriously?”

He snapped his head over to look at you. You were even more heavenly up close, just as he remmebered but better. Your arms were folded and you looked at him with such disapproval that he wanted to immediately crawl to his knees and apologize.

“We’re not even fucking dating anymore. You just chased off my date.” He winced, “Fuck.” You scoffed at his curse to whomever. “I should be saying that not you. Leave me alone, asshat.”

Before he could stop himself he had grabbed your arm and pulled you into the closest vacant guest room. He pinned you against the doorway. You were wide eyed and your mouth slightly open. It had happened in an instant, so fast your brain was still trying to comprehend him grabbing your wrist.

Bakugou bit his lip so hard you thought it would bleed. He didn’t know were to start. This day had been rehearsed in his mind over and over again. Yet the words, the speeches, and the numerous i love you’s were gone.

“Im sorry.” Was all he could get out. Your eyebrows furrowed when he mumbled the words. He snaked his hand around your waist as he whispered in your ear. “Im sorry. Im sorry, swear on it y/n. Talk to me again. I miss you. I’m sorry.”

His head dove into your neck, kissing and sucking on every sensitive spot he gained access too. You didnt even have time to gasp before his thigh pried both your legs open. He grinded the muscle against you.

It took everything in your being to not just give in and let him pleasure you. The resolve in your head, the one that told you that him acting like this is conmmunication is what ended the relationship in the first place, slapped the hell out of you though.

His face broke as you roughly pushed him away. He whimpered while trying to trail his hands on his belt to unbuckle it.

The skin of your palm met his face quickly. He completely stopped this time. The sound of the slap reverbing in his head along with the sting. Not just the sting of the slap, but the sting of knowing he fucked up again.

“Have you learnt anything?!” You yelled, tears brimming in your eyes. “This is the reason we broke up! You can’t resolve everything with sex!” You jammed your finger into his chest, “Start thinking with your head instead of your dick! After all this time, I thought you changed. Im so ignorant.”

You turned to leave out the door. Bakugou saw everything flash before his eyes. He saw the relationship you and him had before. He saw the relationship you could have now. And he saw the relationship that fucked up and now has fucked up his life.

“I dont know HOW!” He didn’t mean to yell, really. But something just snapped in him. You stopped to listen so he continued. “I’ve spent the last several weeks missing you. I never even realized how much I fucking… damn it!”

The knot in his throat was getting tighter. You hadn’t turned around yet. “But I just dont know how…” His voice broke halfway through the sentence. He wrapped his arms around you. You felt no lustful intent, only the desire to hold his #1. “I only know how to show my love through fucking. I can be more open! I just dont know how!”

He started to shake, squeezing you even tighter. After a long while, you finally spoke.

“Then I’ll teach you how.” He looks up in bewilderment, is this you forgiving him? In one swift movement you pushed yourself towards him. You grabbed his worried face, tilting him up to look you in the eyes. He was panicked, a panick you’ve only seen a few times since knowing him. “But for now, tell me how you feel in the ways you understand.”

He seemed confused when your hands encircled around his belt and snagged it off. “What? Wait-“ you cut him off with a hefty palm on his clothed cock. His breath caught into his throat. He barely chocked back the moan that you attempted to tear from him as you dove your hands under his pants. He was puzzled, yet his arousal and the feels of your hands encircle around his throbbing cock hypnotized him.

Instinctively, he reached between your legs to rub you in return. He whined when your hand gently pulled his away. “I’m okay, you just focus.”

Easy for you to say, he thought, or atleast tried to. It wasn’t easy to focus on the situation when you began to pull his cock out and rub it against your entrance. It felt too good. It had been too long. Too long having to rub himself out to a picture of you. The real deal felt euphoric.

His hips bucked into yours, starting at a brutal pace. He picked up your legs to give himself more range. The sounds of skin on skin were loud, not as loud as the combined sound of the moans and groans you both chocked out, but loud.

He tilted his head back, his whole chest was flushed a deep red. He cursed into your neck where he had begun to lick and suck. “Damn it, I-I missed you.” Your whole body tensed when he angled himself to hit that spot deep inside of you. It was your turn to curse.

“I just- these past couple of weeks- nghhh… ive been- I cant live without you alright!” His thrusts picked up, “I regret everything I have ever done to make you upset- hhhnnm…”

Tears well up in your eyes when you start to reach your orgasm. You weren’t gonna last long either. Like him, the sensation was a lot after being away from eachother so long. He had forgotten his strength as he thrusted into you so hard you wouldn’t doubt if angry bruises were already forming.

“Katsuki… I love you,” You whined desperately. He started to unwind, tensing and untenseing, when you came around his cock while moans spilled through your mouth. It almost hurt how stong the orgasm was. Almost.

He bite into his lips so hard it began to draw blood. “Fuck, I love you too y/n! So fucking much!” With that he exploded inside you. His hot seed painted your walls without missing a single spot.

He slowly lifts you down to your feet, only to stabalize you when your knees buckle. He wrapped his arms around you, “I fucking missed you.” You breathed in deeply when he kissed at your temple, “I missed you too Katsuki.”

[tinyperson00]

Maybe your sisters are right - Akira & Toju fanfic - fluffy and lovey :3

Hopefully this fulfills your need for more Toju x Akira @moshi-moshh :D

Akira and Katsu are sitting together with their sister Ushuu who came over to see her sisters since Shinobu said she could get a break for a few days. The three of them are enjoying a delicious dinner that Ushuu made for them as a gift for letting her stay for a few days. Toju has been out on a solo mission for the past 3 and a half days now. Akira knows that some missions can take a long time, tho she is worried for him since hes never been out for this long.

Akira's younger sisters are having a little conversation while she is just zoned out in her own thoughts. "Akira...?" Katsu says to her

"huh? Oh what were you saying, sorry about that. Haha." She responds back jokingly to her sister, who is very observant.

"Toju will be fine.. you dont need to worry! Hes strong, trained by you after all." She gives Akira a confident smile as she says this and Ushuu pats her on the shoulder.

"I think its cute~" Ushuu smirks "someone has a crush doesn't sheee."

Katsu just looks at Akira, then at Ushuu, then back at Akira. "You really don't tell people things do you.." katsu jokes

Ushuu looks confused and curious now as she sits back down and looks between her two older sisters.

"She's kissed him like 5 times now that ive seen.. probably more times that I dont known of as welll." Katsu explains to her. She looks at Akira now, "When are you two gonna just get over yourselves and date already??"

Akira's face is red now, and she has no words. Ushuu, who is enjoying this new drama and information on her sister, looks at Akira with a deep and mischievous smile.

suddenly, the front door is open from the other room. Akira is up and over to the door in an instant. Ushuu is impressed by her speed and looks at Katsu to continue to talk. An injured Toju is now walking into the mansion to be greeted by a relieved Akira. She looks him up and down to examine his injuries. A few minor cuts along his arm, and what looks to be bruised ribs. She can tell that he has a bandage around his torso as well, probably got cut there. She smiles up at him and welcomes him back, congratulating him on completing his mission successfully.

she grabs his arm and walks him into the kitchen to get Ushuu to help treat his injuries. "Ushuu, your assistance is required."

Ushuu gets up and goes with Akira and Toju into the room used for treatment and such. Katsu is left to clean up after dinner and then goes up to her room for a while. They arrive in the room and Ushuu prepares some treatment for Toju. Akira helps him remove this shirt and undershirt so he isn't hurting his arm to much and irritating his cuts. She was right, he has a slash mark across part of his side that is wrapped in a bandage. Ushuu helps replace his bandage and properly treats the wound. She then wraps up his arm and treats that.

"the bruised rib will heal with time, just make sure Akira takes it easy on you with training for a while until your better." She explains to him and Akira.

they finish up in the treatment room, and Akira asks him all about his mission. He fought very well, and managed to save everyone in the village with minor casualties. It was a pretty strong demon, but not part of the 12 moons.

"Im proud of you Toju, you did really well." She smiles up to him.

they are both sitting in the living room of her mansion, and she is leaning her head on his uninjured arm.

He looks down to meet her loving gaze, "I couldn't have done it without your help, you really are an amazing mentor you know."

she gives him a small laugh and leans up closer on him. They are very familiar to eachothers touch, with training and everything they've been through, so this wasn't a super surprising situation for him. After all, he has been her tsuguko for about 5 months now. Toju looks down at Akira who is now curled up next to him and still leaning her head on his arm, and he wraps the arm around her shoulder to pull her in closer. Akira now goes a bit red, and thinks back to what Katsu was saying during dinner.. what exactly is it that is holding them back from getting together again..? She honestly cant think of an answer to this and then looks up at him. Akira compliments Toju once more on how good he did during his mission, then she begins to act on emotion again. Now she is reaching her hand up to his face and pulls his head down until it almost reaches hers. Toju catches on very easily and then follows with her. Ushuu and Katsu just happen to be walking into the room to join them as their lips meet and form a kiss.

"aaand thats 6." Katsu says sarcastically

Ushuu laughs and says "you werent kidding Katsu!"

Akira slowly releases the kiss and turns her head to look up at them with slight annoyance on her face. Toju doesn't bother to move and just continues to sit the way he was before.

"are you sure they aren't dating yet Katsu??" Ushuu jokes to her sisters. Both of Akira's sisters are now laughing at her and Toju in a sisterly way.

Akira just stares at them and gives them the middle finger for a second and then turns back around again. This has the two laughing even more now as they go sit down next to them.

The night arrives now and they begin to get ready to go to bed. Akira's mansion has 5 bedrooms in total. One for her, one for Katsu, one for Ushuu when she comes over on nights like these, a guest room that is being occupied by Toju, and a big bedroom with 3 single beds for guests. The last room is almost never in use, but she keeps it fresh just in case. While Toju is getting changed into his sleep clothes, he starts to wonder himself why him and Akira aren't dating yet as well. He can't think of a reason why they can't either, and he knows Akira is very strong so he won't have to worry about loosing her. Toju decides to talk to Akira about it later that night, and Akira was planning to do the same thing.

Akira is saying goodnight to her two little sisters as Toju walks out of his room. She shuts Ushuu's door now and begins to walk back to her room. As she walks past Toju, she hesitates since she wants to talk to him about it, but then decides not to right now and then continues walking to the end of the hall to get to her room. Toju watches her now and realizes that she's been thinking the same thing he is, and decides that now is a good time to talk to her. Just as Akira is about to walk into her room.. she feels Toju grab her torso and pull her into a hug. She looks up at him now with curiosity and confusion.

"Are you alright Toju..?" She asks him softly.

"You hesitated when you walked past me.. yoj have something you wanna say dont you?" He explains to her. "i have something I wanna talk about as well actually."

"oh you do? I guess you're right as well, I do have something I wanna ask. You can go first tho."

she turns herself to face him now and looks up at him. "You look pretty tired Toju, you should sit down before you fall over from exhaustion."

Toju agrees and follows her into her room and sits down on the bed with her. Akira leans against him again and then asks what it was he wanted to talk about.

"well... I.. Maybe I think your sisters are right.." he says with a soft voice.

Akira knows exactly what he's talking about, and is happy he's saying this, but Akira being Akira.. she wants to hear him say it so she plays it dumb. "Right about what exactly..?"

Toju's face now begins to go red. He looks away a bit and then says to her "I would like to date you.. but only as long as that is alright with you of course."

now with a smirk, "Toju, don't look away from me when your talking. You know I feel the same way." She pulls him to face her again.

He gives her a gentle kiss then says, "then I would like that."

Its pretty late by now and the exhausted Toju suddenly falls asleep and his head plops down to fall on Akira's head. She laughs quietly to herself as she carefully lays him down in her bed next to her and she lays down as well. About 10 minutes pass and she suddenly feels his arms wrap around her like a hug. She smiles to herself and closes her eyes, now comforted by his hold. They stay like this for the rest of the night. Not even the crows had the heart to wake them up the next morning.

Katsu walks in to see them, gasps to herself, and then runs back out to get Ushuu. The two girls find this absolutely adorable and just stare at them. Not long after, Akira can feel their gaze and looks up at them with a sleepy scowl. She starts to get up to shoo them away, but they close the door and run away before she gets the chance. Toju subconsciously pulls on Akira wanting her back down to lay with him for a while longer. She goes back down and falls back into her light sleep once more.

-end-

Did that satisfy your need for a fanfic @moshi-moshh 🤭

this was actually so cute to write lol-

definitely wasnt almost falling asleep the entire time.. definitelyyy

only once picture this time since im exhausted and had a lot to do today but I hope you enjoyed reading this :D Ignore the spelling mistakes I probably made ;-;

time for bed now~ nighty night 💗

[mugentakeda]

oh sorry!! misinterpreted!! pls tell me abt his 500 mental illnesses and horrors please

NO UR FINE HEHEHDHSHD i figured id get an ask abt it at some point cus most people dont talk abt iroh in such deranged ways.... but . idk i really just sort of take literal facts abt iroh and stretch them so they become hcs??? and i also take little worldbuilding hcs ive seen other people have and adopt them because it adds spice.

this is gonna get long and crazy cus its just me musing about shitty iroh qualities ive noticed and trying to clown a bit in his pov so im gonna put it all under a cut. read it only if you dare thoughf

first of all. iroh is like a hypocrite among all hypocrites. its funny as it is pathetic. sometimes he knows it and tries to adjust his thinking because after all he DOES actively try to change himself for the better. sometimes he knows it and just doesnt care. maybe feels guilty for not caring, maybe he sometimes doesnt feel guilty. and sometimes he doesnt notice it at all because well. 6 years of changing yourself means what exactly to 30 something years of being one of the biggest baddest fn ghouls???? theres still a lot of unlearning to do, and he thinks he can be all hoity toity grand lotus. like boy bye. i think that if he knew he would work to submit to humility and i say that genuinely but sometimes old fire nation crown prince habits die hard. he wears silk robes under his armor baby. he was the spoiled rotten eldest son!!! theres a way you can balance iroh actively practicing humility but also him being patronizing and holier-than-thou.

iroh spent years and decades believing in the fire nations old cause. i bet yall anything the siege wasnt his only crime, just the biggest and most notorious. and on top of that hed believed that taking down ba sing se was his destiny from a vision that had been sent by the spirits. as if spirits gaf abt war shit humans do like boy youre just delusional and have always been delusional. but im sure that everyone took it seriously cus im p sure fn folk take spirit stuff seriously considering the fire lord is supposed to be like... a god human and his word is divine law or whatever idfk.

lu tens death was world shattering to iroh beyond belief if it managed to break that. iroh is a spiritual guy and takes spirits dead seriously, and if he believed him taking ba sing se was decreed by agni- well. look at how hard it was for zuko to give up those beliefs, and he was only sixteen and his track list is prob mickey mouse size compared to irohs. thats why lu ten being just a mentioned ghost character kinda bothers me cus i think if we knew more abt him itd put just how earth shattering his death was into more perspective. if he meant that much to iroh that it stopped iroh from caring when fn folks care so much about their cause, awful as it is, then he mustve been something special.

as for how iroh is with women i couldnt give you a good answer on that. the fn doesnt really seem to have roles like the nwt so i dont think its a common fn man thing to objectify women. which means thats just an iroh specific thing. which is insane??? but i watch one piece which has sanji in it so ive seen far worse but still. this isnt the objectify women olympics. i think as far as i can remember the only time iroh had been annoying and needed to be curb stomped about it was with june and then every other time it was reciprocated flirting with women his age but i digress. itd be pretty funny if lu tens birth in general almost became a scandal because iroh didnt know who the hell the mother was. This isnt one of his 500 mental illnesses though its just an annoying iroh quality ive noticed. Lets cut his dick off

NOW BACK TO MY FIRST POINT specifically ab him being a hypocrite and knowing it and feeling guilty but also sometimes not feeling guilty. i was talking abt him and azula. I have no idea if iroh knows how similar he and his niece are. frankly i believe itd be funny if he didnt because hes deluded as hell. i know people say oh iroh doesnt like azula bc she reminds him of himself WELL I THINK IROH DOESNT LIKE AZULA BECAUSE SHE REMINDS HIM OF OZAI. as if iroh would compare her to himself!! hes not that gd self aware. which comparing her to ozai is very unfair to azula and stupid i know. and humans do and think things that are very unfair and stupid and hurt the people around them. and its sad and it sucks but thats just how it is. him being the age that he is beefing with a teenager is a bad look and these bad looks are what make iroh whole and human and a shitty uncle. i dont hate him for it but i also think azula can rip his face off like a rabid chimpanzee for it if she felt that way

i think its like, he knows that azula is only 14 and is only doing what ozai teaches her and will just get the short end of the stick at the end of the day because thats just how ozai is, and thats when he feels guilty. but then shes manipulating and pulling zukos emotional strings like hes a puppet and shes rushing in with a smirk thats identical to ozais and shes rushing at zuko and thats when he stops feeling guilty and stops caring about her age and only cares about what she can do and what she will do and attacks her the same way hed attack anyone else. crushing her hand in his own and then kicking her in the face off war ships.

and then i think that guilt about her age and seeing it as just something that war does to even children eventually wears off entirely and all he can see when he looks at her is his own brother, and that means he needs to keep her far away from zuko no matter what. so yeah i think he really meant it when he said he thinks azula is crazy and that she needs to go down and no i dont think hed have too much of an issue with being the one to do that if it meant zukos safety. how does iroh feel like shit over lu ten dying but not over the idea of possibly killing his niece? couldnt tell you. i know a lot of people think its misogyny on irohs part and i mean. maybe?????? but i honestly dont think so. i think blaming it on misogyny actually makes their beef less intriguing, if anything. i think he just hates azula for azula.

and i dont even think comparing azula to ozai is something he only does with azula. i bet there are times where zuko shows his soft side and instead of being filled with love and admiration for his nephew who is compassionate despite it all, the first thing that comes to his head is look at that, look at how hes not entirely like ozai, theres still hope for an honorable and idealistic leader for our nation in the future. like i said before, old habits die hard. sometimes iroh Has to think like a general with his family for the wellbeing of literally everyone else on the planet but in moments like that, its just unfair to zuko as his nephew. thats something i dont think he even realizes is bad of him as an uncle- that hes made himself one of many people that only ever compare zuko to the shadows of his family members that loom over them.

which then moves us to the question of, do i think iroh projects his feelings about lu ten onto zuko. my answer? sort of yes?? but sort of no?? sort of no because zuko makes that impossible. even if i personally hc that there was a lot of lu ten that iroh didnt know, the lu ten that iroh knew couldnt be anymore different than zuko. so iroh cant use the same parenting techniques on zuko, he cant have the same quiet and casual moments with zuko, theres no teasing and banter and rough housing with zuko. lu ten had been self assured in the way a boy can be when he has a father that doesnt instill fear into him.

However comma. i think that paternal love and adoration is the same as the kind he had for lu ten. that protectiveness is the same. theres the amused affection at how similar lu ten and zukos stubborness is, how expressive their irritation is- the way they both flail their hands around and in the air whenever they get frustrated. their undying dedication, the honor and belief in justice. it took iroh forever to see the similarities, only until he got to know zuko a little better aboard the ship. its the same feelings and most of the time that new love makes iroh feel new.

but i also think that sometimes its agony. sometimes that desperation and mourning of lu ten, wishing there was something, anything, iroh could do or give to bring him back, manifests in the form of if zukos wellbeing isnt at a certain standard at all times im going to lose my mind. its one thing for zuko, who is young and hurting, to be codependent on iroh. its another for iroh to be codependent on zuko. he hopes zuko never stops thinking iroh is just a worrywart, that iroh is just kind of overbearing in the way annoying grown ups are, because if he ever stopped and saw the truth, the terrified desperation that iroh has to make sure zuko gets out of this year alive??? i dont even know what iroh would do if zuko died during the show if im being honest. thats something thats beyond my comprehension lol.

i think for a while irohs dedication is this gross mix of codependency onto zuko and zukos overall wellbeing, but also this weird convoluted mess of guilt over lu ten that he doesnt want to relive with his nephew so this is like.... something he thinks he owes zuko. which hurts and sucks but i think those two things can and do co exist. i dont think irohs love for zuko becomes entirely uneffected by lu ten and the loss of lu ten until like. literally book 3.

and im serious about that too i think the "owing zuko something" bit had been stronger in book 1 when iroh had been more apathetic but then in book 2 when iroh was literally Living in lu tens grave site and im pretty sure even losing sight of zuko in ba sing se would be enough to freak iroh out. irohs a general and a genius in strategy, but the instincts of a parent- a stressed one, because you cant tell me that just because iroh is endeared by the people of ba sing se that thats enough to qwell his fears- squashes all of that into dust. hes living in the grave site of his son. him and zuko could be recognized. his contacts warned him of the dai li and long feng. he only truly relaxes until zuko comes back through the door. he only truly sleeps well when he can feel his nephews bright and alive chi near him.

and i think that when he mourns lu ten and is scared for zukos life in the earth kingdom he hates himself more than hes ever hated himself ever since losing lu ten in the first place. the personal killer of so many earth kingdom sons, so many earth kingdom fathers lives that he personally ruined, and here he is, alive.

But then thats when rationality and humility leaves him and that royal selfishness shows itself- he knows hes the one at fault- the murderer of earth kingdom sons of all ages, daughters of all ages, elderly, mothers and fathers, babies and toddlers, homeless that dont have the means to scurry to the inner walls and hide in homes, family pets and family livestock, ash and blood in the water that they need to drink and cook the food they had left with, running out of supplies, running out of the medicine pregnant mothers need to ease their pain during labor, medicine needed to perform amputations from violent and infected burns, sickness thats bound to show while under siege and cut off from the rest of the world, entire bloodlines ended, brains and blood and body parts covered in ash and littering the streets that he now walks as a fugitive.

its all his fault and yet hes still so angry at himself and the world and his god damned family, he wants his god damned son back. he tries to be a good example for his nephew who has so much to learn still, the world depends on his nephew learning the things this uncle is trying to teach him-but hidden poorly under the mask of a wise and worldly old man, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. he tries so hard to change and be humble and think beyond his own interests the way a grand lotus ought to, but when the gap in his chest left behind by his son that he murdered, that wouldn't be dead if it werent for his sorry excuse of a father, starts to ache so tangibly he almost wants to keel over and vomit.

SO . yeah i think that theres a way to balance irohs many lovely facets. his calm and collected mentor side that is observant and patient with the angriest teenage boy on earth, his ridiculous side that does stupid annoying shit to spite and tease his nephew, his protective and nuturing side that adores his nephew and wants him to be happy, his snobby pretentious ex crown prince side that thinks achieving peak open mindedness is joining a secret society with dudes like pakku, his angry and hateful side that did so many cruel things yet learned what fire can really mean from the masters but is still selfish and also wants seconds out of his self made grief despite taking the first plates from others and cant even bring himself to care, his manipulative side that earned him a reputation in the snake nest that is definitely the fire nation nobility and court, his hypocritical side that hates azula for the same reasons he hates his brother and hates himself but somehow cant fathom correlating himself with his niece.

Hes the worst hes the best hes my favorite hes my worst enemy. when do you ever get a character as ill as iroh at irohs age??? its always the mentally ill 20 something anime dude. never the shitty old man. im so insane

[huebris808]

trying to break out of my shell and post madcom hc shit aka Look At My One Of Many Weirdass Hank Ramblings, Boy

hank you know them. they're six-foot-something and wanted to try volleyball. they dont get sarcasm and refer to stuff as "thingys". they're the autistic power fantasy of throwing bricks at those who view you as subhuman. their bedroom's apparently just a mirror to practice cool poses with and a blanket and their favorite drink is eggs now according to the streams. and they are your new nonbinary president

im constantly fluctuating between Animation & MPN Are Two Different Timelines/Universes or They're The Same, But He’s Testing Which "Hank" Is More Favorable/Useful To Others

wasian hank truther baby. (jp+filipino-american)

this guy would probably use わたし/私 (ive seen a lot of artists use オレ/俺 for him though but i feel like its a bit?? much)

definitely had to pick up sign-language after [Vague Gesturing] All That

has autism in the way that they have No Clue they got it. like "damn i got [Specific Autistic Issues]. sucks that im so so normal and yet i must endure The Problems everyday"

speaking of autism, enjoys confined spaces sensory-wise. vents and boxes and shit like Come On Man. Do You See The Vision.

gonna be honest like half of the shit (Understatement) i got for hank is projection but what's madcom without that in some aspect!! that's the POINT man!!! [ON KNEES WAILING] that's the POINT

working in real estate and as a mercenary since The Incident made their self-worth go to SHIT; in a world that dehumanizes you, you are quick to dehumanize yourself. this is where the power of lesbian friendship comes in

subconsciously puts doc on a pedestal over time, leading to (See Bullet 1); this dissipates after they somehow reach a conversation of Bitch We Are Both Equals And Fighting For Our Fucking Lives Out Here THEY SOLVE SHIT TOGETHER MAN!!! THEY SOLVE IT

sorry. sorry. im trying to delete it

out of nowhere maybe its the Autistic Projection maybe its cause im allergic to Sadstuck Shit i dont dig negative stuff with 2bhank it just feels Wrong :-( i wish i could word this better but like. i need these little chesspiece fucks to learn to communicate

what i will refer to as the Newspaper Era (aka the time before we got doc characterization from arena mode) caused people to make some weirdass depictions of their relationship and im glad its phasing out. The Horrors

main 4 are all butch lesbians btw. not sorry about that one

also POLYCOMBAT TRUTHER this dude would HATE how vulnerable these three would make them feel at first. they're the first to actually treat him like A Guy and that fuck him up a bit initially

i think eventually they all reach a point where they're able to do stupid shit together like fireworks or breaking chairs over each other heads. you've seen how doc is don't exclude him from doing dumbass shit

"erm… actually they wouldnt be friends or have fun or date theyre ruthless criminals and madcom is cruel :/" L + ratio + the rule of The Funniest Thing Is The Answer in madcom prevails + That's The Devil Talking, Boy

shit at technology. if they had a blog their lack of skills would loop back around to make them the most powerful shitposter on earth

there's definitely more that im missing here and takes that Don't Suck (for example people need to put out more hankford content. Cmon Man) but my brain has this shit Queued Up in a way so. Yeah

[spidermanifested]

this is not my usual type of post but ive been rotating some thoughts and i guess my blogs as good a place as any to get them organized. okay so this is basically my take on the entire discourse surrounding the "feminine (presumed cis lets be honest) women are uniquely oppressed for being feminine/making female characters quote unquote Less Feminine is antifeminist" thing. which i keep seeing come up. on this internet of ours

context being im a trans guy. grew up largely seen by others as female, probably, sort of. was about as far from a cishet womans feminine as you can imagine. not in a cool tomboy way. not in a way that society had a box for. and thats the thing, is that when you fail at gender, whether youre conscious of it or not, theres this extremely profound loneliness that comes with it. part of it was the autism but i made like 6 real-life friends total from ages 4 to 18 and there were no examples of anyone with an even remotely adjacent experience i could find in the media or irl. anytime a female character skirted a little too close to actual masculinity in a tv show or movie shed get that makeover eventually. i was bullied by both boys and girls but the girls who bullied me were uniformly very feminine.

and so i see people talking about how hard feminine women and girls have it, how the world hates them for being beautiful, and on the one hand its like okay, Misogyny Exists. thats not really refutable thats just the reality of it. society hates women. and as for eurocentric femininity specifically i understand its a hard tightrope to walk!!! you have to put on all these masks BUT make them seem natural, youre forced into these narrow boxes of acceptable behavior and appearance and desires, and if you under- or over-shoot then people get reminded the whole thing is a farce and get mad (often violently!) at YOU for it

........but then my thing is, that on one side of the tightrope, the "overperforming eurocentric femininity" side, the tradwife or girlboss or blonde bimbo side, theres an entire history of structural trope-crafting to break your fall, right. like its a shitty box but its the box society WANTS you to be in. they look at you and go "yep thats a woman. we dont like those but that sure is one". there are known social niches to carve out. theres a script.

on the unfeminine side theres just. nothing. its stone cold concrete down there. and apparently twitter would have you believe its actually that the "more masculine" somebody presumed female appears the more society respects them but that to me is the wildest and most nonsense take on the planet because if people see you as a woman or girl who has not taken the needed steps to justify your place as one of those things you might as well be an alien, or even a monster. theres no script at all. and i feel like this is one of the major experiences that trans and gnc people of every gender share-- god knows trans women get the brunt of the vitriol-- and from my knowledge a lot of nonwhite people too, and also fat and disabled people, like. there are SO many things that affect your ability to achieve even a fraction of success at this aspirational femininity.

ive had to see people for real make the argument that princess peach making an angry face is masculine. i think the most masculine woman anyone on twitter can imagine right now is like a businesswoman in a form-fitting pantsuit and light mascara. maybe the struggle of succeeding at femininity under patriarchy deserves exploration, ive seen plenty of coherent and reasonable points, its not without worth as a discussion. but i do not trust the general public with the topic without immediately sliding into bog standard gender policing and transphobia, and so in closing, when the mainstream feminist take on the whole thing seems to be "the more you perform the femininity expected of you the worse you have it", i get the sensation that nobody told me it was opposite day and im about to feel real silly

[vivelegalite]

people moved on but mentally i'm still right here. what the FUCK did they mean?

so the message was partially solved by @\willescarf on twitter who guessed "but you mean... so much to me"

which i, like many other likeminded people who partake in delusion now and then, interpreted as a message by either mike or will, directed to the other. because it just makes sense.

for a long time, my favourite solution to the message was this one, by @\thmidfinch on twitter:

anyway i think you'll [like it] sorry i couldn't get it done [in time for your birthday], but you mean so [much to me] and it's been [great getting to catch up with you] i hope this is [enough to] last until [next time] love, [mike]

talking about a letter maybe (shoutout to lettergate enjoyers and truthers), or a mixtape? whatever this would relate to would be a sort of olive branch presented to will by mike.

another possible variation i could think of would be this one, inspired by @\dcbicki:

anyway i think you'll [get it] sorry i couldn't get it done [before/sooner], but you mean so [much to me] and it's been [a long time] i hope this is [going to] last until [then] love, [mike]/[i] love [you]

this one absolutely RUINED ME and i am 100% a truther now (by @\aurietissima):

I want you to know that I rebuilt Castle Byers. I'm so sorry about you wrecking it because of me, because of our fight. Very, very sorry. Anyway I think you'll like it. Sorry I couldn't get it done better, but you mean so much to me and it's been hard without you. I hope this is enough to last until you come (back) to Hawkins. Love, Mike.

another strong contender was this one, by @\lukacuzynot:

anyway i think you'll [like the painting] sorry i couldn't get it done [before we got to the airport] but you mean so [much to me] and it's been [a long time since we had seen each other] i hope this is [going to] last until [we see each other again] love [you]?

where the message talks about the painting will gives to mike in s4. my own variant of this one would probably be:

anyway i think you'll [like the painting] sorry i couldn't get it done [before we moved] but you mean so [much to me] and it's been [a long time since we talked] i hope this is [going to] last until [summer break] love, [will]?

but then, looking for interesting interpretations, i stumbled across this tweet:

so, the "no" can mean a lot of things, buuuuuut this tweet just so happened to be archived by the wayback machine, so here it is in its full glory:

yeowch. i was hoping it'd say something like "this is about byler", to which that response ("no") teeeechnically wouldn't be a lie — since byler is the name for them as a couple, and they said outright that this isn't about one.

but alas.

the little delusional byler in my head tells me that friends don't lie but showrunners do, and there is a bit of hope left there, but among other ideas one i like is that this could be a note from terry ives to el (x), considering the significance of the date outside of just will (it's the date of el's escape from the lab, i think).

but then there's the tweet i usually see omitted from posts i see about this message (and one i was going to omit myself but just now noticed before clicking post):

this is giving me phone call cutting out mid word rather than a written, redacted note, but who knows? certainly not me. i know nothing anymore tbh

another thing to mention is that these were posted in october 2019, so take them with a grain of salt, but then again — season 4 was announced with a teaser on 30th september 2019 (FLASH WARNING!!!). a teaser that included allusions to several plot points that made it to the final cut of season 4 (the logo recreated with vines resembling the creel house, the grandfather clock, the slogan "we're not in hawkins anymore" relating to the cali crew and el in nevada). it's pretty possible they already knew about the paintings, the letters, etc.

PLEASE let me know your theories on this, it's one of my favourite still unsolved st mysteries!! do you believe that it's not about byler? if yes, what else do you think it could be?