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kitkatkitzune · 2 months ago

Text

PETALS

Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x Fem!reader

Summary: You love flowers and you love Jace, it’s a shame you’ll die because of them.

Warnings: Targcest, My version of hanakaki disease, ANGST, Implied suicide, Blood, Jace feeling guilty as fuck, Potentially OOC!Daemon, Inaccurate historical depictions, Inconsistencies in the tense it’s written in

Notes: This is NOT Baela hate!! I love her!!

Surprise, this is the show I ended up watching and I think I may write something for it every once in a while!

Word Count: 3.7k

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Aegon always felt that he had been cursed with strange sisters, his wife, Helaena, was obsessed with bugs and all other small insects. Then there was you, ever since you were a young girl you had been fascinated by nature. If you were missing the first place anyone would check was the gardens because more often than not that is where you were.

You’d hum to yourself, plucking away weeds, something your mother would shun you for.

"We have groundskeepers for a reason, Y/N,” she’d say, clicking her tongue.

You never listened though, and after a while she gave up on trying to stop you. At least Helaena hid her quirks inside the castle, you were always outside for anyone to see. You never knew why but you always felt connected to nature, even going as far to scold your guard when he’d stand on certain parts of the grass.

You loved Rhaenyra, you held a lot of respect for her even as a child. You were just a babe when Jace was born but when Luke was, even though you were still quite young, you brought her daisies from the gardens. Years later when Joffery would be born, you brought her baby’s breath.

Unlike Aemond and Aegon, Rhaenyra’s children’s brown hair never bothered you. In fact, you grew quite close with Lucerys and Jacaerys. Luke gained more respect towards nature each time he spoke with you and Jace, Jace found you fascinating. When he wasn’t training with a blade, he would find you in the gardens. He could listen to you ramble on for hours on end about the different flowers and their meanings.

“The daisies remind me of Luke…” you‘d hum, twirling a flower in your hands.

“And what of me, princess?��

You chew your lip, tilting your head in thought before abruptly standing up, “Come, I’ll show you!”

You dash further into the gardens with Jace chasing after you as you giggle. Eventually, you come to a stop in front of bunches of carnations.

“You remind me of the carnations… the red ones represent your strength and determination, the pink your loyalty, and the white your kindness…”

Jace hums, a smile appearing on his face, “They’re very pretty…”

You decide it best to not tell him that carnations often represent love.

“I’d also say that the hyacinths are similar to you… playful and bold… only the red ones though…”

He tilts his head, “And why only the red?”

The smile on your face wavers a bit, “The purple ones are an apology… to represent regret or guilt. They show grief.”

Everyone was gathered at Driftmark for Laela’s funeral. You had picked flowers, forget-me-nots, giving them to Baela and Rhaena as a way to show your sympathy to them. You didn’t miss the way Jace and Baela had their hands clasped together, and you could have sworn you felt your throat close up at the sight.

Later that night, you were shaken awake by Jace and the other children, alerting you that Vhagar had been stolen. When you all went to investigate, you found Aemond atop of Vhagar, landing on the ground. He swiftly dismounted the dragon, boasting about how it is now his. This enraged Baela, after all, Vhagar was her mothers dragon and the beast should have been her sisters to claim but Aemond had gone behind their backs before Rhaena was even granted a chance.

Chaos erupted as Aemond shoved Baela to the ground, you rushed to scold your brother but he only yelled at you, shoving you to the ground as well. You could feel the palms of your hand split open. Jace flipped his blade in his hand, ready to attack but it was flung away from him, landing near Luke.

It was sudden, Jace managed to toss some dirt into Aemonds face, temporality blinding him, and it gave Luke the chance to attack him with the blade. Your brother's ear piercing scream filled the space, blood dripping from his eye as the guards finally came running. All of you were gathered as one of the maesters tended to Aemond’s wound. And when your mother was informed that the eye would never heal - she was enraged.

Alicent demanded that they take one of Luke’s eyes and when the king refused, she tried to attack Rhaenyra, managing to slice open the woman’s hand. That night would be one of the last times you’d see the Velaryon boys for a long time, the family decided it was best that they travel to live on Dragonstone.

The day you said goodbye to Jace was the first day you coughed up a petal, through your tears, you could tell it was from a carnation.

You were able to keep it hidden for about six days before your mother found out. She noticed the blood on the sleeve of your gown and immediately questioned you about it. At first she had thought you had gotten your blood moon and had been messy about it but you quickly broke down and told her about the flowers.

She took you to the maesters instantly, watching as he examined and questioned you. She paced around the room anxiously, picking and biting at her nails just like she used to do as a child. A habit that she thought she managed to shake but clearly not.

The maester finally turned to look at Alicent, “Your grace… I have never seen such a thing… I’ve only ever read of it and have heard a few tales..”

“What is it?” Alicent asks quickly, making her way to you from across the room.

She brushes your hair from your face gently, and the maester sighs, “Rūklon ānogar… flower blood… it’s a disease, a curse… it’s a trick of nature… the princess is not loved by who she desires and nature is punishing her for it.”

Your mother looks horrified, “Who she desires? What… What kind of illness does that?! Will it go away with time?”

“I’m afraid not…the princess, she will die from this… I’ve read about a paste once before that could dull the symptoms, but there is no evidence of a long term solution… perhaps it is possible to survive off of the paste but I… we truly do not know.”

“A paste?!” Alicent raises her voice slightly, “My daughter is coughing up flowers, potentially dying and you offer me a mere paste that may save her, a paste that may not even work?!”

“Mother…” you pull at her sleeve, causing her attention to shift back to you. Her gaze softens at the sight of your blood stained lips.

“Yes, my dear?”

“It is… the only option,” you nudge your head towards the maester, “He would know…”

Alicent sighs at your words and turns her flaming gaze to the maester, “Get the paste, quickly.”

“Your grace,” he bows his head before scurrying off.

Your mother sits down on the bed beside you, pulling you to her arms, “It’s that…” she swallows harshly, deciding that it wouldn’t be fit for her to say bastard boy, “…Jacaerys, isn’t it?”

“Mother…” you mumble and she shushes you.

“No one will know of this, you are simply ill and that is why you are away, do you understand? No one can know of this, not even your brothers or sister, not even your father…”

“I understand…”

“Good,” she says then suddenly sighs, “This is my fault, I should have just let you marry the bas- boy. The boy.”

You shake your head a bit, “That… would not make him love me.”

And you were right, because off in her chambers, Helaena sits, stitching away at a quilt, mumbling to herself, “The flowers are wilting…”

Everyday, the paste would be mixed into your food and to the maesters credit, it did work. Although it made you feel near nothing, which was to be expected. You no longer sat smiling in the gardens, you would sit with a dull look on your face. Your mother tried to get you to act like your old self but it seemed impossible. But it didn’t really matter to her, as long as you were alive and preforming your duties as princess she was happy.

The point is, the paste worked for years with “minimal” issues, until he came back to King's Landing.

You were not there to greet them when they had arrived, he was a bit upset at the lack of your presence but assumed that since you were older now, you had more duties to tend to. Or perhaps your mother had forbidden you from greeting them. Jace guessed you would find him after but you never did, so he went looking for you but it seemed as though you were nowhere. The first time he would see you, would be at the large family dinner that the King wanted.

You were seated next to your grandsire, Otto and your brother, Aemond, staring at the table, praying the ground would swallow you whole. You hadn’t just been avoiding Jace either. You were avoiding the whole family, Lucerys, Rhaenyra, Baela, Rhaena, and Daemon. Baela and Rhaena were your friends at one point and Lucerys always looked up to you. Rhaenyra had been a role model for you and Daemon… well, he was Daemon.

Being here, with them, was painful. Almost as painful as the stems growing in your lungs. The paste was no longer working, that much was clear. Whether it had something to do with Jace’s sudden appearance or simply the disease fighting back, you had no clue.

“This is an occasion for celebration it seems…” your father announces, “My grandsons, Jace and Luke will marry their cousins Baela and Rhaena…”

The King continued on, but you were no longer listening, your gaze had snapped up from the table to focus on Jace and Baela. The way he looked at her and the way she looked at him. It was the same way you always looked at Jace, only he never returned that look. Your throat seemed to close up a bit and you had to fight away the urge to cough. You dug your nails into the handles or your chair, hoping to ground yourself in some way. Aemond, ever the perceptive one glances towards you, narrowing his eye, trying to read you but you ignore him.

It’s then that you can faintly hear Aegon's teasing voice as he leans over to whisper at Jace, “…You’ll finally get to lie with a woman… You do know how the act is done, I assume? At least in principle? Where to put your cock and all that.”

“You can play the jester if you wish, but hold your tongue before my betrothed.”

his betrothed.

You try to subtly clear your throat to relieve some of the pain but it is no use, you quickly grab your napkin and begin to cough into it, gaining the attention of everyone around the table. Rather reluctantly, Otto begins to pat at your back. Alicent begins to chew at her nails, quickly catching herself and holding her hands firmly in her lap.

“Are you all right, sister?” Aemond asks, taking a sip of his wine, it was obvious in his tone that he held no real concern for you and was only asking out of duty.

Carefully, you pull the cloth from your mouth, holding it tightly in your lap, “Yes…” you breathe out, relieved that you still have your voice.

The room has gone silent now and Daemon glances between Alicent and you as though he’s piecing a puzzle together. During the silence, Luke realizes this is the first time you’ve spoken since they’ve arrived, your voice sounds different, more matured and older… but most of all, scared.

“The flowers are wilting…” Helaena mumbles softly.

Neither Jace nor Luke would be able to speak with you that night because the second King Viserys’ speech was over, your mother had a guard escort you back to your chambers, claiming that you were ill and not feeling well. This only raised Daemon’s suspicions.

When the King died and your brother was crowned, you made the decision to flee from King’s Landing with Rhaenys with only the clothing on your back. You knew it was a stupid decision and you knew that your condition would only worsen, especially now without the paste, especially if you were to be constantly around him. But it did not matter to you, you refused to be on the wrong side of the war, even if it meant you would die sooner rather than later.

You were able to hide your sickness for less than one moon before you were unable to any longer. You were just lucky it had not happened during one of the council meetings, you were sure you’d be accused of bringing some sort of the plague with you. None of the men on Rhaenyra’s council seemed to trust you, but that wasn’t saying much considering it hardly seemed like they trusted her.

It had happened in your private chambers while one of the servant girls, Beth, was helping you out of your day clothing and into a night dress. You began to cough, unable to stop it as Beth fawned all over you, trying to help in any way. Your airway became even more restricted as you coughed, blood and petals falling to the ground in front of you when you could no longer stand. Then finally, you coughed up an entire carnation, stem and all.

The poor serving girl began to scream, rushing out into the hallway to yell for help. It was pure coincidence that Jace and Baela had been walking down the hall. Baela and the serving girl ran to find Rhaenyra, Daemon and a maester while Jace attempted to help you from the ground. But the second his hands touch your skin, it felt as though you’d been pricked by thorns. You shoved him from you, sinking further to the floor.

“Do not touch me…” you manage to hiss out.

“Y/N—“ Jace tries once more but you push his hands away, crawling across the floor to your bed.

Baela and Beth returned just as you began to pull yourself to your bed, all while begging Jace to not touch you. They were not alone when they returned, they had brought the Queen and King as well as the maester.

Jacaerys watches you with concern as Baela approaches him, placing a comforting hand on his arm which only makes you begin to cough more. Rhaenyra seems concerned that it is contagious and you could not blame her, perhaps she thought you were ill like your father.

But Daemon immediately silenced those thoughts when he picked up the flower from the ground, spinning it in his fingers, admiring the blood that coated his fingers.

“Rūklon ānogar,” he breathes out.

Everyone looks to him, while he still keeps his gaze focused on you, watching as you tense up at the mention of the fatal disease.

“Flower blood…” he clarifies.

“Rūklon ānogar? Flower blood?” Rhaenyra echoes, “That’s impossible, it’s not real.”

“Clearly it is…” you mumble quietly, allowing your head to fall back against the headboard.

“How long…?” Rhaenyra begins to ask but is cut off by her husband.

“Since before she came to Dragonstone, I suspect much long before.”

You nod, ”Years…”

Jace’s eyes narrow, a bit of anger flaring within him, “You came here, knowing of your illness?!”

“Relax,” Daemon says, “She’s not contagious… she is going to die though. Terribly. Painfully.”

“Thanks for the reminder,” you glare at him.

“My question is how are you still alive if it’s been years,” Daemon takes a step forward, finally dropping the flower in his hand, “you should be dead.”

“A paste…”

“A paste?” he asks, almost mockingly.

It is then that the maester cuts in, “It was believed that a paste could… prevent symptoms…delay death…”

“Then get her the paste,” Baela cuts in.

Oh how you wished you could hate Baela, it would be so much easier if she was awful but she wasn’t. And you knew none of this was her fault, just as none of it was Jace’s.

“It is not that simple, my lady,” the maester begins, “The ingredients needed for such a thing are very hard to come by… we do not have such things here.”

“Then we try King’s Landing,” Jace offers, causing Daemon to scoff.

You shake your head, “No… they wouldn’t.”

“Your mother is there! Your brothers! Your family!” Jace argues.

“They’re no family of mine!” you manage to shout, immediately doubling over on yourself, coughing.

Rhaenyra begins to pat at your back, the feeling was much more comforting than when Otto had done it, “Sweet girl…” she mumbles quietly.

“Tell me,” she asks softly, offering you a goblet of water that Beth had gotten, “Why risk yourself? Why come here knowing we could not provide for you?”

“Because…” your voice cracks as you pull away from Rhaenyra, “I refuse to die on the wrong side of this war… just as I refuse to die in this bed…”

You begin to try and force yourself out of the bed but quickly realize that you are much weaker than you were just moments before. You take a deep breath and close your eyes, trying again but once again, you fail.

Suddenly, you feel a hand on your back and another hooking under your knees. When you open your eyes you realize you’re being held by Daemon, you allow your head to fall against his chest as he begins to carry you out of the room, already knowing where it is you wish to go.

You can’t help but overhear the hushed conversation between Baela, Rhaenyra, and Jace as they follow behind.

“What kind of sickness does this, your grace?” Baela asks quietly.

“A cruel one,” Rhaenyra answers with a grim look on her face.

Jace frowns, “I don’t understand, flowers? Why? What causes such a thing?”

Finally, Rhaenyra sighs, “Love, my boy, love.”

“Love causes that?” Baela asks, astounded.

“The unrequited kind…”

“Unrequited love? Who would be fool enough to not love Y/N?” Jace asks, making Rhaenyra shake her head.

“I think you know.”

Daemon sets you down carefully in the gardens before stepping away just as the others make their way into the gardens. Jace seems to be storming towards you, determined to speak with you before your inevitable death. Daemon makes a swift exit, taking Rhaenyra and Baela with him, allowing the two of you a moment to talk.

You choose to ignore Jace, just as you had done before, running your hand along one of the beautiful flowers that only grows on Dragonstone.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jace asks.

You hum, “It wouldn’t have mattered.”

“I, yes, it would’ve! I- I could have loved you… it did not have to come to this.”

You sigh, pulling your hand away from the plant, turning to face him, you bring your hand up to his cheek, once again feeling as though thorns are going through your skin, “You can not make yourself love, Jace.”

“But I do love you, I do… I…”

You smile, softly, “Just not as I love you.”

“I am so sorry, Y/N…”

“There is nothing to be sorry for, Jacaerys, this is not your fault.”

He shoves your hand from his face, tears glimmering in his eyes, “How can you say that?! You should be cursing me! You will die, you understand that right?! You should hate me!”

“I could never hate you.”

He begins to pace, running his hands through his hair, making you sigh, “Jace, it is okay, really.”

“You shouldn’t be saying that, no, no, I should be saying that to you! I should be the one—“

“I accepted this a long time ago, and I need you to listen to me… please,” you pat the ground next to you and Jace sits down after hovering for a moment, “I am not a dragon rider Jace, I do not want a dragon's funeral… I want… I want to be buried somewhere like here, in the gardens, let my body be the nutrients needed for the flowers to bloom.”

Jace only stares at you, committing every aspect of your face to his memory. Because there were no portraits of ‘Y/N Targaryen’ on Dragonstone, and it was too late for one to be made. The only portraits of you resided in King’s Landing but if he knew Aemond, he knew that the one-eyed man would have already destroyed them all, removing you from history. This would be the last time he’d see you, and he knew that over time his memory would fade until you were just a name without a face.

You call his name, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“Okay,” he says, shaking, “I will… make sure of it.”

The two of you sat in silence in the gardens until you asked to say your goodbyes to everyone else before finally you asking to be alone. It was only then that you began to play with the dagger you had stolen from Daemon while he had been carrying you.

And in his and Rhaenyra’s shared chambers, Daemon looks in the mirror at the empty slot on his belt where his dagger once was. He would have panicked, but fortunately he knew exactly where the weapon was and who held it.

It was no surprise to anyone when they found your body in the gardens the next morning. What was surprising was Prince Jacaerys expressing your desire to not have a dragon rider's funeral. So it was then settled, you would be buried where you had died.

Jace brought you flowers, placing them on top of the fresh soil. Bunches of purple hyacinths, something that his family would not understand but it did not matter because you would and so would he.

Even dead, the flowers in your lungs bloomed, they ripped through your organs, cracking through your bones until finally piercing through your skin into the dirt. Eventually sprouting into a beautiful bunch of carnations.

Even in death you still loved the flowers. Even in death you still loved him.

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