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kimsohn · 11 months

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we all want what we can't have

pairing . prince! jake x knight! gn reader (ft. yuna of itzy) about . 5.4k words, fluff + angst warnings . i wrote this 2 years ago so brace yourself. there's angst but it has a happy ending! jake is a flirt and yuna is gay (cause why not). this is written in a style that is meant to mimic romantic old-fashioned fantasy but i didn't do a very good job of it 😭 as always, terribly sorry in advance for this monstrosity.

synopsis . you thought coming face-to-face with prince jake would be the end of you, but sadly, getting dubbed by him seemed to be the least of your worries. note. this was originally a secret santa fic with a different idol, so sorry if there are name mistakes! this is also a repost from my old account if it seems familiar. i also apparently wrote this at 4am so please excuse the mess that this is. tagging . @stealanity @haerinz

Far, far away, past the weeping willows of the dark forests and the scorching sands of the sunburnt deserts, there laid a small vine opening, covered with twigs and vines, embedded in secrecy. Only those who seek this door could enter, and only those who dared to venture could truly experience the treasure they were meant to seek for.

Here beyond this secret entrance lay the land of Senkō, a land filled with prosperity and enchantment alike. Home to one of the world’s most charming cities, this empire carried an aura of purity that wrapped around and around and encased you tight, never wanting to let go.

And in the center of it lay a prince to match, feasting on the fresh pears from the palace garden and radiating a smile that could rival that of the blazing ball of fire that shone upon him.

“Master Jake! You shouldn’t be eating those pears; those are for the royal family’s bouquet at the end of the month!”

Jake leaned against the tree, eyeing the half-eaten pear in his hands, before glancing at the short maid who had come to warn him against his irresponsible actions.

And then he grinned.

He watched the maid’s cheeks turn bright red, resembling the rubicund apples in the orchard nearby. Nations far and beyond have acknowledged Prince Jake’s dazzling smile and incredibly handsome aura, and he was well aware of it, using it to his advantage to get out of trouble. Being flattering was simply a pastime for him.

“Are you sure I can’t have a few more pears? I’m sure I can… let you have a bite of this one if you wish.”

The maid turned profusely beet red as if she couldn’t have possibly turned into more of a tomato, and with a quick squeal, she scampered back into the castle, leaving behind a laughing Jake and a half-eaten pear.

“Didn’t know you were the designated castle flirt,” a familiar voice remarked, causing Jake’s eyes to shift to the new subject.

“You seem quite observant, Commander Sunghoon. I wonder if you would like a bite too?”

Jake dangled the pear in front of Sunghoon, commander of the royal army and his best friend, only to be met with mock disgust and a silent scoff.

“Quite humorous aren’t you, Prince Jake? Anyhow, I’ve come to ask for your presence at the induction ceremony for our recruits. Can’t have the nation’s brightest soldiers be dulled by the absence of the ever so coquettish prince, can we?”

Jake, biting the last part of the almost-finished pear, met Sunghoon’s glance with a smile. “Well, what are we waiting for? Lead the way.”

You were quite nervous.

Throughout all the rigorous training you’ve endured for the past two years, you’ve never felt so anxious. Wielding a blade and charging headfirst were tasks that came most naturally to you, but social integration and public speaking were far from your line of expertise. A million uncertainties were running through your mind at the very prospect of failure in being dubbed a soldier, and you hoped you wouldn’t end up being the nation’s royal laughingstock.

What if you tripped on stage? What if you accepted the wrong award? What if you—

“Nervous?” you heard a voice murmur next to you, filled with light amusement and tender undertones.

“In your dreams Ni-ki,” you whispered back, not willing to show weakness, although you supposed your best friend knew you better than you knew yourself.

He let out a soft chuckle, well knowing of your dishonesties, and patted your uniform-covered shoulder in a gesture for comfort.

“You’ll be fine Y/N. Besides, everyone tends to get a little weak-hearted while standing next to Prince Jake. If anything goes wrong you can just blame it on him!”

It’s not that simple, you wanted to retort, but you didn’t have the heart to diminish Nishimura’s extra-cheerful attitude today. So, you just dipped your head in respect as a mere thanks, hoping your nerves would settle down and let you breathe.

“Oh, that’s my name! See you on stage Y/N!”

You watched as Ni-ki pranced onto the carpet-covered stage, a smile flitting across your face in pure affection. Eons ago, you both had vowed to become the finest soldiers of the royal guard and here you were today, fulfilling your dreams side by side.

You found your eyes shifting from the now kneeling Nishimura to the man upright in front of him, slender hands repositioning a blade from Ni-ki’s left shoulder to his right, a movement proclaiming your best friend’s newfound royal status.

Prince Jake. The man of everyone’s dreams and desires alike. You wished you weren’t prone to his charms, but alas, everyone has their weaknesses. Jake Sim’s smile just happened to be yours.

Having been lost in your contemplations, you hadn’t realized time was nearing your turn until your wandering eyes noticed Ni-ki making his way off the stage.

“And now, let us welcome the highest-ranking recruit of this division, Y/N!”

It felt like a blur walking onto the platform, clad in combat boots and your royal uniform. Despite the loud clapping and the shrill cheering from your comrades, your eyes were trained on the man adorned in regal blue, a man you supposed you’d need to grow accustomed to.

Your breath hitched as he stepped forward to perform your accolade, and you mentally cursed yourself for having the qualities of a fangirl at this very moment. Ni-ki was right; Prince Jake had the vexatious ability to take anyone’s breath away (not that you were complaining).

“I don’t suppose you need this dubbing,” you heard, the faintest whisper of a melody so familiar yet so unique, “for your skills are far more worthy of recognition than my blade.”

Cheeks burning, you turned akin to a beetroot as you bowed your head in respect, heart thumping at the mere delight of such a wonderful man praising yours truly.

“We mustn’t skip formalities, your royal highness,” you whispered back, kneeling on one leg before him, “because even one as skilled as me would enjoy the honor of your unsheathed steel on my shoulders.”

You sensed the lightest grin pass across his face as he performed the rite of passing, and as he helped you stand back up to shake his calloused palm, he leaned in to make the faintest promise.

“One day, I hope I can have the opportunity to duel with you, the ever-so-skilled Y/N, in a match of fencing. After all, you aren’t quite the only one to receive such honor, hmm?”

True to his word, Jake arranged a duel with you. Rather than just wanting to see your form in action, the fight was arranged for a more subtle aim: Jake’s desire to get to know you. Surprisingly, or rather, unsurprisingly, he admitted that he still remembered every detail of your first encounter. He knew it seemed a little obsessive, but then again, all the male characters in books have been victims of the love-at-first-sight syndrome.

Why exactly he found you so fascinating? He didn’t quite have the answer to that himself. Maybe it was the way your confidence was nowhere to be seen despite your highest-ranking title, or the fact that you were still able to utter out cautions about formalities despite looking like you were to go faint any moment. He couldn’t deny that he found you a little cute (just a little). He’d never had a knight fancy him, especially a high-ranking one, but he wasn’t one to carp. The thought of your duality merely aroused his attention, which is why he was so keen on carrying out this match.

Although, Jake’s plans didn’t exactly schedule themselves as he wanted, because when he arrived at the grass training grounds, uniform poised and blade in tow, he was met with the faces of the rest of your peers, eager eyes ready for action.

“Sunghoon, what is the meaning of this?”

“My apologies Jake, for how would the elders take it if the royal prince wanted an individual match with a recruit?”

“Oh, you know I meant no harm—”

“Obviously, however, other people simply don’t have the pleasure of knowing your royal highness as well as I do. I kindly ask you to adjust to the current circumstances and carry this forward as a teaching lesson, rather than a chance to fancy yourself with a new lover.”

Jake paled at Sunghoon’s words, turning to face him with an impeccable glare.

“Don’t be so surprised Jake; I too am capable of noticing wandering eyes. Whether your thoughts start as mere interest or mad infatuation, please be cautious of your actions. Tis the season to be betrothed, after all.”

With the warnings ringing throughout his ears, Jake stepped up to the platform, meeting your curious eyes. Simultaneously, you both bowed, and Jake was taken aback to the formalities you’d mentioned previously before. Today you looked more at ease, and he couldn’t quite figure out what for. Was it because combat came naturally to you? Or perhaps it was the reconnection of you both? Only time would tell.

Although this was an obligatory battle, seemingly for educational and ritual purposes, Jake could sense that you wouldn’t go easy on him. That wasn’t what worried him. Jake also wasn’t the most skilled in hand-to-hand combat, and he knew what the outcome of this event would be. That wasn’t what worried him either.

What worried him was the realization that he was excited to be with you again. He recalled the past few days, tracing through them to find that his mind had often wandered off to the upcoming battle with you. The thought of getting to know how you carried this particular interest of yours, the thought of meeting your gaze again, the thought of merely perceiving you had plagued his mind until this very moment. He felt like a fool, like a little boy eyeing a certain pastry he had craved through the windowsill. Maybe Sunghoon’s wandering eyes were right; maybe he was smitten with you.

He looked up to see you unsheathing your sword, preparing for the beginning. He mimicked your action, the blade unfamiliar and uncomfortable in his hands, designed to flaunt rather than to function. The both of you poised with your arm outstretched, blades crossing and knees bent.

He could tell by the slight grin on your face that you were well aware of the outcome. He wondered if you knew he visited for entirely different reasons than battle, but judging by your expression he knew the answer was quite evident.

He was so distracted by you that he didn’t even realize the start of the duel. He focused to see that you had knocked the heavy blade of out his hand (doing him a favor, really) and as it soared in the sky, you twirled him around and pulled his back flush against your frame, encompassing him in a body lock. Jake couldn’t care less about what you were doing to him. The mere feeling of you sharing contact with him was enough to make his brain go dizzy. And quite surprisingly, he sensed that you were affected too, due to the evident rising heartbeat against his chest.

As the fight commenced and the audience clapped (blasphemy really, Jake hadn’t carried out a single action the entire time), his attention focused on your figure, which was walking off the platform. He noted your slight trembling hands and your heavy breathing, accompanied by the lack of eye contact he had once received before.

Were you nervous? Embarrassed? Or perhaps, blushing? These thoughts haunted Jake as he returned to his chambers, falling into a restless sleep filled with you, you, and only you.

A couple of weeks later, you had the opportunity to tour the extravagant castle. It was a part of your training, in case the palace ever fell under attack and you were required to defend it, however, most of your comrades took it as an opportunity to finally experience a sliver of royalty that they had never had growing up. As most of you came from poor backgrounds, the diamond chandeliers and velvet carpets seemed daunting and awe-striking, and you swore some of your units had hearts in their eyes as they dragged their fingers along the winding corridors of the palace.

You, however, weren’t quite as interested. The sole purpose for your visit was education and you made sure to concern yourself with only that, disregarding most of the accessories and amenities the palace had to offer. You didn’t really focus on most of the extravagant interior (although that was probably the most vital segment in your training) because you knew it was filled with barely-touched rooms designed to complement and boast. All fortresses were built with the sole impression of looking majestic, and the only part you deemed important for your training were the places in which the royal family frequented.

You were told that Jake enjoyed the palace gardens, so you ventured off to exactly there, mentally mapping out particular landmarks that you help you familiarize layout. You could see exactly why he frequented this location; the white rose bushes and worn stone paths resounded a sense of serenity, and you soon forgot about the actual reason you were here, continuing to inhale every petal and feel every path of grass underneath your sole-covered toes.

Somehow you had found your way to the fountain, sitting on the edge and tracing your palm across the clear water drawing ripples. You had laughed when you first found the location because of the angel sitting atop the basin, reminding you exactly of the man behind the reason you had come here.

Jake. It always seemed to steer back to him. After your duel you simply couldn’t stop your brain from wandering off to his presence, the way he moved, his pretty eyelashes, his kissable li—

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You hadn’t realized you were extremely close to falling into the fountain until Jake’s voice resounded, bringing you out of your quite embarrassing daydream. A flush covered your rosy cheeks as you locked gazes with him and nodded, letting him pull you up to your feet and away from the water.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, gripping your shoulders lightly.

Your brain felt dizzy from the direct contact, and your throat dried up as you attempted to speak.

“Training, walking around memorizing—”

“Calm down Y/N, I understand. Please take a seat love, you must’ve had quite the shock from almost falling into that fountain,” he responded, gesturing to a patch of pasture as he pulled you down next to him.

If your brain wasn’t malfunctioning already, it definitely was now. Love. The word floated through your head like dandelion seeds in rough winds, like a kite gone lost. No one had ever called you such an endearing term before, and despite not knowing Jake’s intentions behind it, you still cherished the four letters he had chosen to label you.

You wondered what Jake would say if he knew the reason you almost fell was the fact that you were daydreaming about him. Or perhaps he already knew? You turned to ask him something of the sort, only to meet his preset gaze on you already.

Maybe it was a part of your imagination, but he stared at you as if you held the universe in your arms. If Jake Sim was the sun, he stared at you as if you were an even brighter star speckled somewhere far, far away from his vicinity, yet so, so close. His stare was so warm, so tender that it made you want to shine more brilliantly to keep that expression within his eyes and his heart and never, never ever let go of it.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” you found yourself asking instead, your tense atmosphere dissipating and shifting into something more fond, more affectionate.

“Like what?” he returned, a slight grin on his face indicating he already knew the answer.

“Like you’re in love with me,” you blurted out, the impact of your words hitting you only after you’d recited them.

His gaze shifted, turning into something rawer and more emotional, almost as if you had crossed an unknown boundary and he didn’t know how to react to it. You could feel regret filling your feelings, and maybe he sensed that too because he changed the topic, effectively shutting down any potential outbursts.

“Come on Y/N, let’s get you back to the castle. Your comrades must be worrying about your absence.”

Since then, it had become quite the regular occasion for you to cross paths with the prince in the palace gardens (willingly or unwillingly, you wouldn’t answer). Sometimes you had Ni-ki in tow (only for him to be cast aside anyway), and sometimes you strolled alone, subconsciously keeping an eye out for the man that had somehow bewitched your heavy heart.

You didn’t know when the line blurred between admiration and romance, but you quite simply didn’t care because the Jake Sim had given you his time in return for conversation. He seemed to be enjoying seeing you, talking to you, breathing with you, sitting with you so close that your shoulders almost touched and you could lean over and kiss him. Out of all the pretty humans, he wanted your time, your affection, your words, and your smiles. And you certainly weren’t complaining.

At times you’d find yourselves talking about anything and everything in the world, and at others, you’d fall into silence, bedridden with comfort. His presence grew consolatory to you, an aphrodisiac you’d simply succumbed to throughout the routine of your lifestyle. His figure often occupied your thoughts before you slept, and you’d wake up to the chirping birdcalls in anticipation of your next meeting. Dreaming, you were, as you floated with your feet in the dappled clouds blessed with the warm sunshine that was Jake’s laughter.

Deep within your mind, buried for a later reflection was the hidden notion of restriction, of not being allowed to fall for the charms of his royal highness. A dangerous tightrope you pranced on, shying towards his flirtatious advances and straying away from the acceptance of your feelings. You knew that one day had to come to terms with reality, but that day was not today, not yesterday, not tomorrow. Soon, you presumed, soon enough to infiltrate your worries but not soon enough for you to distance yourself from your growing affections.

One day, when the night sky was particularly clear and the white stars were particularly bright, Jake asked you a simple question.

“Y/N, what happens when you… you want something you can’t have?”

You turned to your side, meeting the heavy, cautious glance of the human next to you. Jake always seemed very grown up to you, perhaps because of his princely duties, but at this very moment, he resembled a childish boy, as if he had broken a vase behind his mother’s back and tried to hide from his consequences.

You couldn’t tell if you enjoyed his cautious vulnerability, but you did have the slightest inkling of the layers hidden underneath his seemingly simple question.

“Well, it’s human nature, your royal highness. I suppose it—”

“No but, what happens?” he prompted, effectively cutting your words off and leaving you wordless.

“Well,” you started after some consideration, trying to phrase your answer quite sensibly, “well then, it’s simple. You bear the consequences. Because Jake, we all want what we can’t have.”

And the look on his face haunted your dreams for many nights.

The royal banquet was an event many anticipated, Jake very well included. Delicacies from far and wide were served upon gold platters (made with numerous ingredients such as the pears Jake was discovered feasting on), and although it served as a chance for royal delegations with countries much like theirs, the entire palace staff was invited. It was an occasion simply to remember, and Jake being excited was a bit of an understatement.

Jake couldn’t deny that a factor of his enthusiasm was your attendance this year. Despite having many acquaintances, the only person Jake typically interacted with at formal events was Sunghoon, and your presence would be a nice contrast to his usual experience.

(And maybe he’d been waiting for a chance to see you outside of your occasional garden getaways, but he’d never admit to it.)

From the moment Jake arrived at the occasion, his eyes were searching for you. Although he knew training kept you for quite a while, his gaze was always focused on the entrance, hesitantly waiting with a chocolate mousse in hand.

“Sunghoon, when do you suppose the knights will arrive?”

“Your Highness, not to be disrespectful but you’ve asked this question thrice already. They will be here soon, I swear.”

“Sorry Sunghoon,” Jake responded, embarrassed but too bashful to care, “as you can see, I’m quite impatient.”

“It is quite obvious, your Highness. Here, why don’t we preoccupy ourselves with conversation? I’m sure our comrades from far and wide will be expectant to speak a few words with you, hmm? It will take your mind off, ahem, a particular other person.”

Conversation was the plan and Jake followed it, mingling with his guests to distract himself. As a prince, Jake was born and raised to frequent polite manners and converse equivalently, but truth be told, his usual acquaintances were young women seeking a way to his heart (and his money). At normal times he wouldn’t be bothered by such minor inconveniences, but today he just couldn’t seem to return the same flirtatious advances.

Maybe it was due to the certain soldier lingering at the tip of his tongue, the corners of his brain. Jake was extremely lucky that he was graced with a good enough appearance that women seemed to be entranced by because, without it, he most likely would’ve received complaints regarding his obvious disinterest towards people who garnered it.

He was able to flutter around casually until his mother pulled him aside, excitedly urging him to direct his attention to his father’s annual oration. Jake was, simply put, perplexed as to why she was so enthusiastic about a simple speech, but he followed his mother’s orders, anticipation bubbling inside his ever-so-faint heart.

He should’ve protected his heart while he could’ve.

“With proud honor, I would like to announce the betrothal of my son, Jake Sim, to the elegant princess of the Shin kingdom, Princess Yuna!”

The only emotion Jake felt was numbness. Despite Sunghoon shaking his shoulder like a madman and a multitude of cheers resounding around him, the only thing that phased Jake was the distant sound of a plate crashing, igniting an unknown fear hidden deep within his heart.

And as clapping echoed around Jake, he whipped around to see broken shards of glass speckled on the floor, and the love of his life running away with the intention of never seeing him again.

In many novels you had read the phrase ‘the heart grows fonder with distance’, but you never assumed it to be true until you started evading the prince.

It had been approximately three weeks since your last meeting (not that you were counting), and you seemed to be facing insanity. Once a narrative that followed romance novels, your tale now diverged into that of heartbreak and sorrow, betrayed by the person whom you were most bewitched by.

No books in your library explicated how to heal a torn heart, so you confided in the most trustworthy source you knew: Nishimura Riki.

“See Y/N, this is why you should never trust a man.”

“But Ni-ki you—”

“I’m the exception.”

Was your best friend the most suitable option for comfort? Mayhaps not, but he tried to the best of his abilities, and you appreciated his efforts.

Three consecutive knocks startled the both of you and before you could even stand upright, Ni-ki had opened the door, coming face to face with the royal commander. The both of you bowed to your superior, who merely waved the formalities off and requested an audience for a short while.

“Knight Y/N, I request you see the prince immediately as—”

“With all due respect Sir Sunghoon, I have no desire of interacting with his royal highness ever again.”

“Y/N—”

“My decision is final.”

With a dejected expression and a heavy heart, Sunghoon left the building, leaving you with a shattered mind and a dull ache in your chest. Today’s interaction had broken the thin wall you had mentally built to separate you and your lover, and you traveled right back to the beginning as if you had just run away from a shattered glass plate and a wedding announcement.

The only word to describe your predicament was reality. You and Jake had spent weeks floating around in the heavens, soaring through the skies like kites let free. Now your feet were grounded, bound in shackles that hauled behind you, growing heavier and heavier with each teardrop.

You suppose there was a way to free yourself, but it wasn’t a solution that would be found yesterday, today, or tomorrow. Once soaring, you were now drowning, ruined in the faint memories of him, him, and only him.

Days passed with monochromasy, and you buried yourself in work with the hopes of distraction. The gardens were a plate untouched, unseen to your naked eye, and instead, you frequented the confines of your bed, once slumbering with dreams about a certain man now only to slumber with cold rivulets gushing down your cheeks instead.

Hatred filled your once curious heart, seeping deep within chambers once filled with pliant affection. You found yourself obsessively irritated at training, lashing out at your colleagues for the simplest of matters and aggressively sparring during practice. As a knight, you well knew that patience was key, but Jake Sim had ignited your murderous streak and cursed you with eyes of red vision, fury the only lens through which you noticed your surroundings.

But most ironically, you hated that you wished him back. Dusk was spent with tear-stained cloths and torn newsletters, every inch of your being reminding you of who you once were. And you hated that while you were suffering, he was enjoying his new fiancé, frequenting ballrooms and relishing lively conversation.

You wanted him gone (and yet you wanted him close). You really did.

“So, Jake, what’s your favorite color?”

Jake hated everything about this setup. Currently, he was spending time with his bride-to-be (his parents had forced him to for a good relationship), and he wouldn’t be lying if he said this was extremely awkward. There was nothing wrong with Yuna per se; in all the right circumstances, Jake would’ve thought her an ideal bride. However, she wasn’t you. She wasn’t the one that he was in love with, the one that flitted through his dreams every night, the one he spent every day thinking of, the one he was smitten with.

“It’s blue. Yours?”

“Mine too!”

They both fell silent. Silence. Whenever the noise diminished between you and Jake, it felt comfortable. It was nice to cherish and he basked in it. But this silence? This silence was awkward, something he wanted to throw off a jagged cliff and never see again.

“You’re in love with someone, aren’t you?” Yuna suddenly asked, chewing on a piece of asparagus.

“What? Of course not. And even if I was, it wouldn’t matter.”

“Jake, I don’t want to spend an eternity with someone that doesn’t love me.”

His heart softened at her words, and he turned to glance up at her calculating gaze as if he was a mathematics theorem she was meant to prove. And Jake despised math.

“But we can’t—”

“We can Jake. If you will for something so badly, the universe will grant your wish. And I can see your desperation, Jake. You’re in love.”

“Stop. Please. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

They both fell silent again but this time it seemed tense, conniving. After a few moments of shifting the uneaten steak on his plate, Jake spoke up again.

“I apologize. I shouldn’t have been so impolite,”

“No no, the fault is mine. I intruded into decisions that you should be making, and I just heavily influenced you.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, have you ever been in love with someone Yuna? Do you know what it feels like?”

Yuna stopped playing with the food on her plate, freezing at Jake’s words.

“I have been in love, actually.”

Jake waited silently, noticing Yuna’s shaking hands.

“Love is a fragile thing, Jake. Once shattered, no matter how much you try to put the pieces back together, they won’t ever fit the same. I shattered it, Jake. I shattered my love for her because I wasn’t brave enough to back out of this arrangement.”

With caution, Jake outstretched his arm, silently holding Yuna’s as a sign of comfort. Although he couldn’t see her teardrops, he could hear them.

“Please Jake, please don’t make the same mistake as me.”

He looked up at her, teary-eyed and soulless, urging him on.

And then he ran.

He ran and he ran, as far as his legs could take him and even past the point of that, with only one goal in mind. Time felt supersonic, a blur that he seemed to experience only with the presence of you. Your name was all that echoed in his mind. He didn’t know where you were, or how you were doing, but he knew he had to find you. To tell you how much he loved you, how much he wanted you, how much of a fool he was letting you go. He was an idiot. But he was yours.

Your house was the first place he had visited, opening the door to a slightly angry Nishimura who relaxed once realizing the situation. He didn’t know where you were. He tried the training ground, only to see it empty. The garden, and the banquet hall, all empty. He felt like he was losing his mind, a game of cat and mouse making him a madman.

And then it hit him.

He burst open the doors to the stage, seeing you sitting on top, tracing mindless circles into the polished wood. You looked up at his entrance, your eyes filling with rage and angst as you turned to get up and leave the area.

He hated it. Eyes once filled with love and affection towards him now were violent. He loathed that he was the cause of your misery. And he was going to do everything to fix it.

“Y/N! Y/N please, please don’t leave. Just listen to me for five minutes. That’s all I ask.”

You stilled, your backbone facing him. “And why should I?”

“Because, because I made a mistake. I’ll admit it; I knew that day would come. I knew my fate was predetermined and it was my stupid fault for being a coward to not change it. And yes, I made a mistake in falling for you.”

“Is this what you—”

“But I don’t regret it. Not one bit. Because if loving you was a mistake, then I’d make it over and over again for the rest of my life. If loving you was a mistake, then suddenly I adore mistakes, because loving you was the best thing that could ever happen to me.”

He trudged up the platform, facing your tearful eyes.

“You once told me that we all want what we can’t have. I couldn’t have you Y/N. But I wanted you. I still do, so, so badly.”

He kneeled, handing you the sword he’d dubbed you with the first day you two had met.

“I want to be with you Y/N. No matter how hard it is, I want to try. So will you dub me as a knight for your love?”

He couldn’t tell what you were thinking. With tears streaming down your face and his heart pounding out of his chest, he braced himself for the worst, closing his eyes shut.

Only for you to shakily shift the blade from his shoulder to shoulder, dropping down to your knees and hugging him, crying into his shoulder.

“Knights swear an oath to never do the wrong thing, you idiot,” you speak softly, breathily, and he can feel your small smile against his shoulder. “Then I’ll be an idiot. Your idiot.”

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stolenslumber · 10 months

Text

[8:30pm] (sjy)

PAIRING: sim jaeyun x gender neutral reader GENRE: established relationship, pure and simple fluff WARNINGS: kissing, suggestive content WORD COUNT: ~800

Jungwon opens the door with a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth, mumbling some approximation of "He's in his room" around it.

You throw him a thumbs-up and slip down the hallway to Jake's room, trying your best not to disturb any of the sleeping boys knocked out on various surfaces in the dorm. When you enter Jake's room, the air conditioning is on at full blast, making you shiver in your thin top.

The room is dark save for the glow-in-the-dark stars you had spent an afternoon sticking on the ceiling together, so it takes a second for your eyes to adjust and make out the shape of your boyfriend curled up in bed, cocooned in a black hoodie and the quilt your mom had made for him last year. Jake sleeps with one arm underneath his head, the other curved around some invisible cavity. You have to suppress the urge to coo at the sight— even in slumber, he makes space for you.

Jet lag has clearly hit him hard, and even though you had been ready to order delivery and watch a movie with him, just looking at him makes you want to sleep, too. Decision made, you waste no time in slotting yourself into the space he left for you and carefully rearranging the quilt so that it covers you both.

Jake grunts but shifts automatically to accommodate you, mumbling something incomprehensible. You pat the arm now laying over your waist soothingly, and soon his breathing evens back out, asleep once more. You're quick to follow, lulled by the rhythmic whooshing of the air conditioning and the steady pulse in his wrist against your fingertips.

When Jake wakes up some indeterminable amount of time later, the first thing he notices is the numbness of his arm, pinned underneath his head when he'd accidentally fallen asleep waiting for you to arrive. The next thing he notices is warm skin underneath his palm, from where his hand had slipped under your top while you were both asleep.

He's so, so happy to see you, though he feels bad about falling asleep before you even got here. The past few weeks have been exhausting and anxiety-ridden, and the sight of you feels like a balm to his soul.

He's smiling dopily at the back of your neck, so he doesn't notice when you wake up, and then he's startled when you twist in his hold to face him, greeting him with a slightly hoarse, "Hi, baby."

"Hey," he whispers back, leaning towards you slightly to plant a kiss on your forehead. Still half-asleep, his mouth runs sweet nonsense without really thinking about it. "I thought I dreamed of you coming in, but you're really here."

You release a laugh in the form of a puff of air and tug on the strings of his hoodie to keep him close to you. "Of course I'm really here; where else would I be?"

His response is automatic. "In my dreams, angel."

You snort and push against his chest a little. "Sick line, dude, how often does that work for you?"

He whines and brings you back even closer, nudging his nose into your neck and nipping at your pulse point, just because he likes the way it makes you gasp and squirm in his arms. "Seems to be working pretty well for me right now, don't you think?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, you've got the rizz, or whatever." You try to match his playful tone, but the hitch in your breath when his mouth starts wandering across your collarbones gives you away.

He's stopped by his own yawn, though, and then he's smiling apologetically at you. "Sorry I fell asleep, by the way. You wanna watch that movie now, or— ohhhh." Interrupted by his own yawn, again.

You do coo this time, enamored by the way his eyes blink half-open and his hair falls messily across his forehead. "Nah, we can always do that another time. I know you're going to be hungry later, though, so I scheduled the delivery to come in an hour. Go back to sleep, yeah? I'll wake you when it's here."

He beams at you in delight. "You're perfect, and I love you."

"'Cause I got you pizza? You're kinda easy, you know." You pat his cheek gently, your actions contrasting your teasing words.

He giggles, and then he turns his head to kiss the palm of your hand. "Only for you."

You hum softly, reaching up to run your fingers through his sleep-mussed hair. "Love you, too. Sweet dreams, Jaeyun."

He nods against your hand and leaves one last kiss on the tip of your nose before closing his eyes. "See you there, darling."

[fin.]

#enhypen #jake #enhypen jake #enhypen fic #enhypen x reader #jake sim #sim jaeyun #jake x reader #enhypen blurbs #jake blurbs #enhypen fluff #jake fluff #wrote this at 2 in the morning while procrastinating getting in the shower.......#oh there is smth so severely wrong w/ me #anyways this came about bc i saw some videos and gifs of sleepy jake and then i couldn't help myself #ss.warmup

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stardustndreamsofsilver · 1 year

Text

I'm Not Done Writing Songs About You

Jakexreader

Warnings: Angst, recent break up

Summary: Jake takes off to the cabin to get away after a recent break-up.

As the car turns the corner, Jake pulls up to the cabin. It had been a while since he'd been here. In fact, the last time he was here, he was here with you. Images of you dancing and laughing in the kitchen and laying in bed smiling softly at him flash through his mind. Shaking his head in attempt to shake away the memories, he turned off the ignition and stepped out of the car.

Grabbing his bag and his guitar case, he heads on in. As he opens the door, more memories of you make their way to the front of his mind. Memories of the two of you lounging on the couch listening to vinyls, him playing you songs on his acoustic as you smile and sing along. With a heavy sigh, he tosses his things to the ground.

Making his way through the cabin, he steps out onto the back porch. Taking in the view, he sits and let's the peace of the mountain wash over him. He needed this. He needed the quiet. He needed to think.

After sitting on the porch until the sun went down, he came inside and grabbed his journal from the bag he'd tossed beside the front door. Carrying it over the the kitchen table, he got out his pen and began to write. He wrote all the things he'd wanted to say when you told him that you were leaving. He wrote about how he didn't understand how you could try and make him choose between music and you. About how he resented you for even attempting it. How if given the chance to do it over again, he'd choose you. How the moment you left, his heart stopped beating.

Picking up his guitar, Jake began to play chords to a solemn song. A song about a boy who let love walk away. How the boy would go through space and time to change the ending. About how there wasn't anything he wouldn't do to get that love back.

He'd never written a song so easily. It was as if the song poured out of him and through the guitar. Quickly he played it again, but this time he set up his phone and recorded himself playing. After the last chord hummed to a stop, he grabbed his phone and sent it to you. With the words, "It seems like I'm not done writing songs about you." attached.

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jayflrt · 2 years

Text

11:30 p.m. ▸ "we should throw that out," jake said.

"throw what out?"

"that stuffed animal," your boyfriend answered, pointing at the plushie. "it’s really tattered and it kinda creeps me out."

“i gave it to you," you said softly. it felt like your heart was crumbling around the edges, but you stayed strong for him. "remember? when we went on our first date to that carnival?"

jake blinked at you.

he suddenly dropped to his knees, clutching his head, eyes squeezed shut like he was in excruciating pain. you quickly rushed over to your boyfriend and held him in your arms.

"i... i can't remember," jake whispered, holding onto you, fear swimming in his wide eyes. "i can't remember... help me remember, y/n. please, i can't─"

"it's okay, jake," you whispered to him in a weak voice, running a hand through his hair and carefully wiping away the tears that had stained his cheeks.

you told jake everything you could remember about that first date and the stuffed animal.

he forgot it all the next day.

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jakekiszkasleftnutsack · 2 years

Text

Pain Without A Place To Go

A Jake Kiszka blurb

۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵

Warnings: angst, depictions of emotional trauma

W/c: 560

A/n: I tried my hand at writing some angst to process some feelings and ended up with this. It’s totally unedited so let me know if you’d like to see this as a fully fleshed out story. If not, that’s too bad cause I already have an idea.

۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵

Jake is the kind of person that won’t stop until he gets what he wants. He’s determined, ambitious, to a fault even. I’ve seen too many people get hurt by his hand, too many questionable decisions that were made, too many lives put at risk in pursuit of the things he wants. All in the name of a better future for us, so he says, but I know better now than to question him after all we’ve been through.

“Look at me dammit!” He grabs your jaw jerking it in his direction, forcing your tired glossy eyes to meet his hollow ones. Your silent tears flow over his fingers now that he’s obstructed their path.

That being said, Jake would never hurt me. Ever. He once told me he’d burn down the world for me. I think that could be romantic if it wasn’t so realistic. I’m no stranger to the way he conducts business, I’ve gotten my hands dirty a few times, and he always makes sure I’m good and taken care of. Still, I know it’s been eating him on the inside to have to leave something this big to me, but even though it's out of his control he has to have his way.

“Please, I love you so much.. please.” He moves his grip on your face to your shoulders and rests his forehead against yours, bringing himself closer still.

Jake never begs for anything, not from anyone. Not until he begged me to clean up his mess. If I could, I’d rip my heart out and serve it to him on a platter to keep in a little locked box to have always. The proverbial key hangs around his neck anyway, regardless of where my heart lives. He didn’t need to beg. I know what rides on this for him, but he knows how it will break me.

“I’ll fix it.”

He nods against you, and smiles a weak sad smile, accepting your answer for what it is. The best you can do. There is no better answer, not in this case, just a vague promise that you’ll take care of it exactly as he would.

In exchange for his love I’ve given him everything.

۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵

The words hit you like a bus. Like a fifty pound weight was just dropped on your chest. Every ounce of willpower you can summon works its hardest to keep your emotions at bay.

Control yourself.

I can handle this. It’s fine, I knew this was a possibility, I prepared for it.

I’m not weak.

And you’re not. Weak, that is. There was a time in your life when all you knew was numbness, during those times you hoped and prayed to anything that would listen for it to end, to feel something again, anything. Now, as your veins turn to rivers of ice and broken glass you want nothing more than to return to that unfeeling place of nothingness.

The doctor continues to speak nothing but white noise falling on deaf ears. She could be not speaking at all, it’s irrelevant that she’s even present because you can’t hear her over your own wail. You didn’t expect it but it’s here, echoing past your lips like a tortured sirens song, forced from your lungs mixed with white hot tears by an unseen puppet master. You wail over and over, taking stabbing breath after stabbing breath until you’re utterly depleted, your volume lapsing, sobbing, gasping. Filling the four walls with pain. Pain without a place to go.

۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵

thank you for reading

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#greta van fleet #gvf #jake kiszka #jake gvf #gretavanfleet #gvf fanfiction #gvf imagine #gvf angst #gvf blurb #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet fanfiction #greta van fleet angst #greta van fleet blurb #angst fic #jake blurbs #jake kiszka fanfic

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hanibalistic · 2 years

Text

#ACE381 | JAKE SIM.

genre | tragic romance

word count | 1262

warning | mention of alcohol

note | i love rotten love. i love ugliness.

jake never truly understood the lows he was willing to stoop to for you until this moment. that was if his lack of sobriety even allowed him to think such complicated concepts in the first place.

sitting in a dirty puddle of an after shower, the wet tips of his soft hair in the slow process of drying naturally after he splashed his face carelessly with water at the bar, he glared up at the flicking orange light of the street lamp located near where you lived. he remembered it being one of the things that helped him memorize the way to your home; you lived in a rather complicated residential area, but he loved visiting you unannounced, and you always happily accepted him.

the phone in his hand flickered with text messages from his friends, all of who he abandoned at the bar when he, in a drunken haze, decided he wanted nothing more than to see your face. he took a moment to look at the screen through a foggy gaze, clouded with bitter alcohol and stinging eyes and salty tears, then he closed his phone.

jake paid no mind to them, his metallic scented hands reaching up to wipe at the snot that was threatening to roll from his nose to his lips.

jake paid no mind to them, he was waiting for you to get him.

forgetting his spot, he let his hands rest next to him on the ground, and he let out a surprised groan when water splashed against his forearm. he cursed under his breath, his brows furrowing at the sight of his debris-filled palms before carelessly wiping it at his pants.

it didn't bother him—not the wetness of his clothes, not the sewer smelling scent riddled in the entry of this dim alleyway, not the fact that he was a grown man sitting drunk on a residential street he didn't belong in just to wait for somebody who may never love him back. none of those bothered him, not the filth or the patheticness or stupidity. all that bothered him was you and what you told him in response to his confession at the end of the school year.

"jake! oh my god–don't sit there, it's dirty!" you gasped when you hopped from the stairs and saw him peeking by the wall.

you ran towards him, hastily shoving your phone inside your pocket and carefully adjusting your pace so you wouldn't crash into the wall. when you were near, you knelt by his side, your knees not touching the water he sat on, and you grabbed hold of his hand to pull him upward.

jake showed no signs of shifting. he was comfortable where he sat, if anybody could be comfortable with that at all. he didn't look at you—he assumed he wouldn't. as willingly pathetic as he was, a part of him stored his pride away secretly and would not let it be taken away no matter what. the source of his dignity has to remain in him, or else he would be beyond repair, so no, he would not voluntarily look your way.

you paused in acknowledgment of his lack of movement, sensing that this may be more than just drunken trouble you have to take care of. you and jake have gone drinking together before, and he has strictly been a cheerful, honest drunk. him being motionless, unresponsive, and overall stubborn was not just an effect of alcohol.

angling your torso and holding his hand on your lap, you knelt once again so you could look at his face. "jake... are you okay?"

the remaining of his dignity vanished once you two met eyes, and his glossed over with childish tears once he realized that yours were leeched with concern and pity. yet you do not love him, he did not think so, not yet at least—he wasn't tragic enough, he was only dirty and slobby. he wasn't sorry enough, not in the way you believed you deserved.

"why not me?" jake asked, choked out even, but his voice was too timid and small. "why can't you just love me?"

he could do better than you was your response to his confession, which jake found to be sickening. he was a good person, a good man, and he deserved someone of the same caliber as him, you said, which he found to be unbelievable. you had done terrible things in life and been unkind to others when you didn't have to, and he should not be with someone like you, you told him, which he found to be just gut-wrenching.

you made him feel like falling in love with you was a mistake on his part, and he recognized no part of your self-sabotage and all part of his invisible faults.

"jake, we talked about this–"

"we talked about this, we talked about–no we didn't talk about this! you–you! you talked about this!" he slurred loudly, retreating his hand from yours for a moment only to scramble and find himself back in your palm because he couldn't take not touching your presence. "i just stood there listening to you talk about yourself like you don't fucking matter, well it matters! it matters to me what you think you deserve!"

nevermind trying to make you understand that you were infinitely more than your perception of yourself, jake seemed to have skipped that part knowing that it could take him immortal years to reach the breaking point of your self-esteem. it wasn't his profession, it wasn't his specialty, it wasn't his job—he was but a boy so madly in love with someone who could not hate themselves any more than the devil can.

the wretched one, he remembered you calling yourself. heaven and hell stood between you and him; you were the condemned one while he was the pure and praise. the only way for you to find true love was to meet someone as demeaning as yourself. then you could deserve each other.

"i am... i am just trying..." jake muttered, a sudden sob passing through his throat. "i just want to be what you think you deserve."

you wanted a pathetic man. you wanted a terrible man. you wanted a pitiful man.

so let jake be him. let jake be the violence in your wretchedness, the eyesore of your everyday life, the human flag on a perfect moon, and the death in your poison. let jake be all of them.

all he wanted was for you to love him, and he was willing to stoop, fall, crash, burn to the lowest beyond demonic possibility to do so.

your knees drenched themselves in the dirty puddle, and your skin soiled after the hot shower you took. his cheeks were tear-stained, and he smelt of smoke and beer, and his eyes were puffy without a trace of light in them, and his hair was in disarray—he almost looked ugly.

jake's breath hitched in his throat when he smelt the scent of your shampoo—a garden green, velvet purple, ocean blue, and lily white. you smelt of flowers, the purest thing of all heaven. he looked at you, his glazed eyes panicking in the wake of your closing face, and when you pressed your lips against the corner of his mouth, he cried.

you did not love him still.

but for this moment, where he breathed his lungs into this pity kiss and you both drenched in street water, you two were ugly.

and, supposed, rotten people deserve each other.

#ficscafe #jake imagines #jake x reader #enhypen jake imagines #enhypen jake x reader #jake blurbs #enhypen imagines #enhypen x gender neutral reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen #enhypen blurbs #jake sim #enhypen jake

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jaylver · 15 days

Text

WEBS OF HURT — S.JY

synopsis: Falling for your best friend wasn't on your check list for high school. As if that wasn't enough to break your heart, his odd behaviour only added fuel to the fire along with a new crush of his. Who knew that odd behaviour would soon turn into a secret truth that you'd discover after his valiant effort of hiding.

pairings: spiderman!jake x afab!reader

genre: best friends to lovers, unrequited love, miscommunications, spiderman au, angst, romance, fluff

warning(s): profanities, mentions of alcohol, party, violence, injury

wc: 10k

a/n: tried something new! a little birthday gift from me <3 please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx

Falling in love with your guy best friend was probably the worst thing ever to experience when it came to girlhood.

High school should be fun, right? Being a teenager should be fun, right? Well, that wasn't exactly the case when you found yourself feeling more than just a mere liking towards Jake Sim, the guy best friend you mentioned and was entirely, love sickeningly, in love with.

Jake Sim was the first guy you actually built a solid friendship with. It first started when he sat beside you in calculus, then you realised you had more classes with him and a friendship eventually developed when you started acknowledging each other. One class together soon turned into years spent with one another. You knew his family and he knew yours. Nothing could ever break the bond between you and him.

You just couldn't help but notice a slight change in him after the death of his uncle, Ben. At first, you figured it might've been grief, trying your best to offer your utmost support. But as months flew by, the oddness persisted. He would disappear in between classes, sometimes standing you up at places you were at together and returning a little scathed, making it up to you by promising for a redo hang out. All of that was weird. Let's not get started on the fact he caught your stuff falling way too many times, even when his head was faced away, his hand would reach out first. In his words, he called it his 'spidey sense', whatever that meant.

However, you never doubted him. He was still the best friend you had, even if he had some tweaks to him. You never once questioned him or brought up your suspicions, but this time, you couldn't help yourself from bombarding him with questions when he broke the news to you.

"I think I have a crush," Jake announced the moment he was in your presence, sounding a little out of breath considering he made a run to the cafeteria. The tray of food was untouched, quite unlike him since he always dug into his food first.

"You 'think'?" You hummed, ignoring the mixed feelings you had blaring loudly.

"Okay, I know I have a crush," he has yet to start eating, just staring expectantly at you, eyebrows furrowed at the nonchalant and dismissiveness in your tone.

"You're being for real?" You finally turned your head to meet his eyes, placing your fork down.

"I am! I think it's kinda crazy," his eyes twinkled, something quite rare but only you knew, like a comet in the sky.

"Who is it?"

"Gwen,"

"Gwen? Gwen Stacy?" You swallowed back a frown that was itching to make its way to your lips, masking it with your best shot of shock instead of disappointment. Of course it was the golden girl, what a cliche plot.

He nodded, a small smile rested on his face as he started digging into his food. "We … talked? Talked about some science things, about Oscorp, about the things she's working on. Oh yeah, she said there's this party on Saturday and wondered if I wanted to go, I said I wanted to bring a friend and she's cool with it,"

"I assume I'm that friend, then?" You poked at your food, suddenly losing your appetite as the conversation progressed.

"No, it's Carlos—of course it's you, dumbass," he flicked at your forehead, earning a firm scowl from you. "You're my best friend, my only ever, I'd be insane to think otherwise,"

You chewed at your lips, not because you were contemplating whether you should or shouldn't go, but it was mainly due to the word 'best friend' that got your attention. There goes your hope down the drain. First, being told your best friend who you have a crush on already has his eyes on someone else, then, getting friendzoned by that same exact guy, all in one shot. It's brutal out here.

"So what do you say?" Jake's voice broke the momentary silence, noticing your dazed expression. You snapped out of it almost immediately.

"I'll go,"

"Really?"

"Do you want me to say no instead …?" You raised an eyebrow, watching him scrambling at your words.

"N–no! I'm just shocked and very glad you agreed to come," he managed a laugh, which turned into a smile.

"Am I going to get ditched that night because you want to get your dick wet?"

Jake scrunched his face up in a look of disgust. "Can you not? I don't need you to say that. And no, I'm not going to ditch you,"

"I'm holding you to it."

Jake shot you a wink, earning a figuratively loud eye roll from you. His laughter filled your ears, and though you managed a smile, you found yourself feeling the opposite internally. You knew you shouldn't feel this way, it's not like you were even in a relationship with him in the first place. But God, why did it hurt so bad?

Who told you friends to lovers was cool when it was unrequited and one sided all along.

"You know, you look good either way,"

Jake Sim was sitting on the edge of your bed watching you put on makeup and getting ready. It was a few hours before the party and Jake had turned up looking nervous, wearing that lucky graphic tee of his that you recognised quickly. Your teasing definitely didn't make him smile, and you soon realised that the crush he had was actually serious.

You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow despite feeling the giddiness from the effects of his nonchalant words. He has to stop that. "Are you trying to butter me up to get me to move quicker?"

"Whaaat? No way. You genuinely look good whether or not you have makeup on, seriously," he was genuine, you could tell, but you knew him better than anything. It was quite a fatal flaw.

"Give me ten minutes to finish the other eye then we can leave."

At that, Jake sighed in relief and fell back onto your bed, kicking his legs patiently. He couldn't stop talking about the party and the people who'd be there, but honestly, you could tell he was just trying to not bring up Gwen at any given moment. Knowing that, you wished the mascara wand would just poke into your eye, maybe it'd hurt less compared to how your heart felt.

"Does my shirt look lame—"

"Dude, shut up," just before you and Jake entered the house, he was asking for another reassurance. First, it was his hair, then his shoes, and every other piece of clothing, leaving his shirt for last. It took everything in you to not punch him along the way there. "I swear, no one will care. If anything, isn't that your lucky shirt?"

"It is my lucky shirt. But whether or not that lucky shirt looks good, that's the case," he glanced down at his graphic shirt, a picture of a rock band from the 2000s staring back at him.

"Trust me, if it's ugly, I would've asked you to change, now shut up and get your ass in there before I leave you here," you huffed and continued walking, hearing him mutter something before catching up with you.

Upon entering the house, you figured it was as underwhelming as you expected. The smell of sweat and flavoured smoke filled the air, high school students lingered around as the music blasted. You should've probably stayed home.

"So, you got your pick up lines ready?" You thrusted a cup of fruit punch into his hands, tilting your head in question.

Jake rolled his eyes. "I'm afraid Google has failed me on that one," he looked around the room, shoulders tense.

"Calm down, big guy. You're acting like you're being hunted down. She's not that scary," you patted his shoulders as he took a swig out of his cup.

"Not scary? Says the one without a crush,"

How ironic.

You brushed it off, finding yourself taking a big gulp as well. He was oblivious and you were just stupid. Stupidly in love with your best friend who has his eyes set on another girl. Perfect.

"I think I see her," you followed his line of sight, spotting a blonde in the midst of the crowd almost immediately. She made her way through, parting the mass with a certain grace to her aura.

Jake looked back at you, a mix of conflict written in his features. You read him well, too well. You offered a smile. "Go, go talk to her. Just text me when you're leaving, okay? You said you're not going to ditch me,"

"I won't," he laughed, but there was a certainty in his tone.

"Then go, what are you waiting for? I'm expecting a whole loads of information by the end of the night," you gave him a slight push, but you could see the small reluctance he had. "Go!" Off he went into the crowds and gravitated towards her.

You couldn't bear to witness it all, watching him leaning down as she laughed into his ear. The feeling of bitter jealously coursed through your veins, it was evil, so evil, but you couldn't help it. At the end, you had to remind yourself, he wasn't yours in the first place. He wasn't yours to lose.

Turning your back to them, you sat alone in a stranger's kitchen and fought off the temptation of getting drunk. Instead, you indulged in the leftover pizzas left on the counter, letting a random girl join you and overshare secrets. Wallowing in self pity was probably not what you had in store for the night.

Almost as fast as you had arrived, it was already past midnight in a blink of an eye. You realised your curfew was around the corner and it was time to signal Jake to leave too. Glancing at your phone, you were surprised to see zero messages from your best friend. Weird.

You stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room, seeing a bunch of people passed out at the oddest spots, only a few still awake. One of them was surprisingly Gwen, the goody two shoes you had in mind was actually staying up past your curfew. You heaved a distressed yet exasperated sigh, walking towards her.

"Hey, Gwen," you hoped she remembered you, considering you were in the same Chemistry class as her.

"Oh, hey. Y/N, right?" She flashed you a sweet smile, and it was painful to know how likeable and nice she was. You couldn't even bring yourself to hate her.

"Right. Sorry for interrupting, but have you seen Jake around? The last time I saw him was with you," you unknowingly chewed on your bottom lip anxiously, taking the frown on her lips as a bad sign.

"He left," that was the least expected thing you anticipated as a response.

"He … left?" You repeated incredulously, almost as if she hadn't made it clear enough for you.

"Yeah, he suddenly said he needed to leave … in the middle of our conversation. An emergency or something. Kinda weird but kinda cute," she laughed, but you were holding back a disdainful scowl, reserved for both Jake and her, but most specifically Jake Sim. "Why? Were you with him?"

You bit back an immediate reply. As much as you wanted to say 'yes', you didn't want to blow off his chance either. "No, just … checking. He said he was coming tonight,"

"Oh, I see,"

"Yeah," you nodded rather stiffly and awkwardly. "I'll get going now, thanks,"

"See ya, Y/N. Until our next class," she gave you a salute, a melodious laugh escaping her lips.

You couldn't resist a smile either, saluting her back. There was a charm to her that affected people, it was understandable that Jake was charmed, but you hated to know that, and you did not want to understand it. For now, he was dead to you, just like how he has left you to yourself in the middle of a party at midnight. Was he Cinderella? Glad to know you weren't the only one who he pulled the disappearing act on.

Clutching onto your jacket tight, you cursed every cuss words there were under your breath, all of which were dedicated to Jake. He had the audacity to leave without even leaving you a text, and that got you walking home in the dangerous night of New York City. Thanks a fucking lot. To say you were seething was an understatement.

You hated the streets of New York especially at night. To prove your hatred further, you just had to be at threat of an armed robbery there and then.

"Hey! You there!" A dark figure approached from a distance, pointing at you. Oh God. "Got some money on you?" This couldn't be happening.

"N–no," you said quietly, backing up quickly. His footsteps thundered loudly against the pavement, seemingly getting closer.

"Don't lie, I see that purse on you,"

"I'm a broke high school student, leave me alone!" Was it sad to say that you were yelling the brutal truth to him?

"I don't care. Give me your purse—" his threat almost had you running in the opposite direction, but his sentence was never finished. Instead, a sharp unfamiliar noise shot through the silence, and a second figure in the distance appeared. That wasn't his partner, right?

Panic coursed through you, and yelling out was most likely the worst idea you had in ages. "Hello?"

Silence.

"Hello? Can I leave now?"

"Yeah, you can," the figure walked under the lamp post, revealing himself.

Spiderman?

Clad in red and a mask over his head, he stepped towards you ever so casually, whereas you stood there absolutely stunned to even move. It wasn't an everyday occurance where you could personally meet the hero in flesh. The media might've painted him as some criminal, but to you and many other citizens, you knew that wasn't the truth.

"Spiderman," you greeted, anxiety lowered knowing you weren't getting robbed now. "Thanks for—that," you waved in the direction of where the man originally was.

"No worries," you noticed his voice seemed familiar, but before you could think more about it, he spoke with a sudden deeper octave. "It's—uh—not safe out here. What are you doing here anyway?"

"Well, for starters, my friend left me at a party that we were supposed to leave together without telling me, and now I'm walking home alone, until I almost got robbed," it was clear that anger and bitterness laced your voice, a deep frown etched on your face as you told Spiderman your concerns.

"Sorry," his voice became lighter, somehow sincere, which made you tilt your head in question. "I–I mean, sorry that he did that to you," he cleared his throat, straightening his spine and returning back to that deep voice.

"I don't know what's up with him. He could've left me a text,"

He muttered something inaudible under his breath, then turned his focus back on you. "I'm sure he's very sorry, and maybe he's got a reason too. Try hearing him out,"

"I will. I always do. I'm just hurt, it's complicated,"

"What? What do you mean complicated?"

You shrugged, hugging your purse close to your chest. "It's nothing. I don't think Spiderman will be interested in my matters with my best friend. I'll leave you to your hero stuff and head home now. Thanks for saving me and the 20 dollars in my wallet,"

"Well—I—wait," before you could fully turn around and leave, his hand landed on your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks. "Let me walk you home. It's not safe,"

"Wouldn't it be weird if I turned up at my apartment lobby with Spiderman?" You crossed your arm, making quite a fair point.

"You're right. What about I give you a swing?"

"What?"

Swinging around New York City was definitely an unforgettable but scary experience. You clung onto Spiderman, screaming like a madwoman as he had his arm wrapped around your waist. The touch was as familiar as his voice, hard to put a finger on but almost feeling like you've known him for years.

You were about to point out your apartment but he had already beat you to it, not even needing you to tell you which floor or window it was, landing on the fire escape right in front of your bedroom window. That just further proved your familiarity towards him.

He pulled your window open, signalling you to head in, but you were stuck staring at him, both in shock from the swing and the way he knew your place.

"How did you—"

"Bye! Goodnight!"

You watched as he avoided your question and shot a web out to swing to some other building, leaving you stunned. How were you going to recover from this?

10/10 experience. Spiderman might just be your casual crush to get away from the thoughts of Jake.

'BREAKING NEWS: bank robbery in downtown last night caused a chaotic and frantic disturbance, luckily, Spiderman was there to save the day and catch the robbers before anything major happened. Is he really as bad as they make him to be?'

The news of Spiderman saving a bank from a robbery right before your personal near robbery experience had you amused. The videos of him beating up the robbers and using his webs to tie them up were going viral all over the internet, even people in school were talking about it.

You were standing at your locker, digging for some textbooks before class started when Jake Sim himself appeared beside you. His presence was announced before he even spoke, but you didn't bother to spare him a glance.

"Y/N, I'm so so sorry about last night," he was heaving in breaths, as if he had ran across the school to find you, maybe he did.

"Oh, were you?" You clicked your tongue, suddenly finding the random piece of paper in your locker fascinating.

"I am. Seriously, Y/N. I know I'm an asshole for that, I'm sorry for not texting you earlier and letting you know—"

"Jake, this isn't the first time you bailed on me," you cut him off, slamming your locker door close and turning to face him. The bruise beside his right eye caught your attention, and suddenly, your anger seemed to have sizzled away. "What the hell happened to your eye?"

It has become a common practice by now apparently. Jake disappearing and turning up with some kind of injury. Like always, he just brushed you off. "It's nothing, don't worry. It's not about me, it's about you. I fucked up this time and I know it, I'm sorry. An emergency with Aunt May came up a–and I had to go home early, I was too caught up in the moment to let you know. I'm sorry, really,"

You considered his apology for a moment. He was sincere, you knew that, but there was a certain dishonesty to his explanation. However, you didn't want to press on further either. "I understand. You probably always have a reason, it's just that I hate it when you disappear on me without telling me. I almost got robbed last night!"

It took him almost a few seconds to register, then another few more to compute a reaction. "What? Are you okay?"

"I'm standing here, aren't I? Spiderman saved my ass,"

"Spiderman?"

"Yeah, Spiderman. That guy who swings around New York. He saved me from some guy that was about rob me, because someone over here decided to leave early,"

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm just glad you're alright,"

"Well, thank fuck I am," you crossed your arms, staring pointedly at Jake.

He dug something out of his backpack, a paper bag of some sort materialized in his hand. "I got you some of your favourite cookies and donuts. As a form of apology,"

You took the bag from him, glancing between him and it. "You can't just buy your way into an apology,"

"You accepted it, you took the bag,"

You rolled your eyes, unable to bite back. "Whatever," you reached in for a cookie and started walking away from your locker, hearing Jake scurrying to join your side.

"So, we're cool?"

You took a brief glance at him, taking a bite out of your cookie. "We are,"

Jake wasn't fully convinced, however. He knew you and your patterns, and he definitely knew which tricks to pull to make it better. "How about I treat you to some Chinese food tonight?"

That piqued your interest, an eyebrow raised at his question. "The one downtown?"

"That one,"

"You sure know how to get on my good side, Sim," you nudged his side, falling into one of his tricks once again. "Too well,"

"I know my ways to get to your heart, don't underestimate me," he said in a lighthearted tone, but God, you wished he would actually find his way into your heart. "Anyway, how was—uh—Spiderman, last night? Excusing your near robbery experience," he winced at the last part, though in reality, the accident hadn't shaken you as much as he had thought.

"He was nice! A little awkward but I kinda get it. He swung me back to my place, which was weird because he knew which window and level it was," you pursed your lips in deep thought, failed to realise the widened eyes from Jake and the panic that filled them.

"M–maybe, it was a wild guess," he said shakily.

"Wild guess? Don't bullshit me, Sim. A smart guy like you would know it's hard to do so," you waved him off, continuing to venture into your theories.

"Maybe he has some kind of sixth sense," he laughed rather stiffly, earning a suspicious narrowed stare from you.

"Okay, big head, quit acting so weird. Let's just get calculus over with and then stop by that ice cream place after school, what do you say?"

Jake's shoulders visibly relaxed, a sense of relief overtook his features. What was that about? "Sure. My treat,"

"God, Sim, you have to stop treating me or else I'll fall in love with you," you joked, even as it came out lighthearted, it was filled with a painful truth that you kept as a secret.

"Then fall in love with me."

You froze, almost unblinking. Something so intimate yet controversial had left his lips like it was nothing. It was probably nothing to him, maybe a mere joke even, considering how he let out a small laugh and smiled at your reaction. You tried to pretend it was nothing, but it wasn't nothing, not to you.

For a second, you wished you weren't already in love with Jake.

Trying to be happy for your best friend shouldn't be hard, but why were you struggling with it so much?

First, you were literally in love with him. Yes, you've come to the conclusion that you 'L' word him, the big 'L'. Seeing him list out the things Gwen likes and hates reminded you of yourself knowing him equally that much too, which only pained you more than it reassured you. Second, he has been hanging out with her more. Not that you were completely friendless and have no one to hang with, but Jake was Jake, he was your best friend, and losing your best friend was the worst thing to happen.

You didn't lose him, no, but it felt like you had. He barely made time for you, being caught up with Gwen, dates and school work, how could he not manage to squeeze you in there? You've always made time for him no matter what the occasion was, so knowing he didn't do the same for you just had you dying internally.

It was a quiet evening in New York. The sun had just set and you were walking home from grabbing an early dinner alone. This time around, you were smarter than the previous round. Armed with pepper spray and a pocket knife, you prayed on a shooting star that an unfortunate incident would never ever happen once more.

You were practically in your own world to even realise or hear footsteps approaching you from behind. By the time you did, your fight or flight mode was activated, almost throwing out a punch, just to freeze upon figuring out who it actually was. Spiderman.

"Walking home alone?" He kept up with your pace as you recovered from a momentary fright.

"Stalking me?" You wondered how he even spotted you in the first place. In the big city of New York, he's coincidentally strolling down the same street as you? As if. "Scared me, you know? Thought it was another round of getting robbed,"

"I'd be there to fight them off if that happens," he said with utmost confidence that it had you laughing a little, shaking your head in disbelief. Why did he remind you of Jake? It's a sign you should stop thinking so much about him.

"Really? I kinda doubt it. Unless you're keeping an eye on me or something, stalker," you teased him, egging him on further.

"I'm not stalking you," his tone gave away the withering confidence of his. You smiled, feeling his lingering gaze on your face. Maybe it was just your mind that's overthinking, but his mannerisms reminded you too much of your best friend. It was in the way he walked, talked and how he normally did this thing where he walked with you and cast glances at you from time to time. Every little detail that you wished you couldn't list out was a part of the city's hero.

He cleared his throat, straightening his back, trying to rebuild that confidence he originally carried. "So … how are things between you and your friend?"

"The one that stood me up at the party?"

He choked a little, but regardless, he nodded his head. "Y–yeah,"

You couldn't hold in a sigh from escaping your lips. Just thinking about Jake had you huffing in frustration. Spiderman picked up on it, shifting slightly beside you. "I guess not … good? Haven't seen him much and he hasn't been bothering to hang out with me anymore. I mean, I get he's making moves but why can't he just manage a little time for me? Maybe I'm too selfish but—" he's not mine anyway. You bite your tongue, holding back what you really wanted to say.

The hero beside you was silent for a bit, as if walking on eggshells and picking the best words to say. "I think he'd come around," he said slowly, "he'd say a couple of sorrys, and you should tell him what's on your mind. Let him know. He'll understand,"

You chewed on your bottom lips, considering the possibilities, but totally also not expecting to get advice from the Spiderman like it was some counselling session. "I know he'll listen. He always does. But I don't want anything to change between us,"

"Nothing will change," he said with a kind of certainty that even you didn't doubt. How did he know? Who was he to judge? You didn't say anything, but just nodded. You knew Jake wasn't the type to argue nor take your words lightly, but you shudder at the thought of a confrontation, not that it was your first with him, but it felt much more emotional this time.

"I hope so. I miss him—oh, my place is around the corner, I can manage myself," you stopped before a turn around the corner, Spiderman following suit.

Standing before him only increased your curiosity about his identity. Who was he? He was hiding under a mask that shielded his face, but something about him seemed less foreign than expected.

"O–oh, then I guess I should get away too. Swing around the city and see whose ass to beat," he laughed awkwardly, a hand automatically reaching for the back of his neck, just like something Jake would do too. You shook that thought away. "Goodnight … stranger,"

"It's Y/N," you didn't hesitate to tell him your name, he saved your life, a little information about yourself wouldn't hurt despite him being a total stranger still. "Goodnight, spider boy."

You turned around the corner, leaving the hero standing there, bewildered and helpless. It was hard to ignore the pit in your stomach that carved deeper and deeper. He reminded you too much of your best friend, and strangely, that was probably the reason why you felt gradually attached to him, a stranger that resembled the ghost of a guy you liked but couldn't have.

The space of your apartment was dark and soulless once you stepped into it. Your parents worked late as always, meaning you were alone most of the time, and this was one of them. Maybe it was the atmosphere and the countless wishful thinking, but a sense of despair knocked on the door of your heart.

By the end of the night, you laid awake in bed thinking about what Spiderman had said. Nothing will change. That was exactly what you wished for too, that your dynamic with Jake was never to change, but how was that to happen when he's got a girl around? Eventually, you're not just going to lose the guy you loved, but your best friend as a whole.

Your train wreck of thoughts were interrupted the moment you heard a knock on your window. That knock turned into a tune that you knew too well. Sitting up straight in bed, you spotted the figure standing by your window out on the fire escape. Jake.

At this point, you weren't even going to figure out how he got up this high on the fire escape. It was one too many times of him avoiding your question and you ended up dropping the matter too. Yet, curiosity itched your mind.

Unamused at the fact that he turned up at possibly the wrong timing, you dragged your legs over to the window, meeting his bashful gaze. He offered a crooked grin, but your narrowed eyes only shot it back into a frown.

"Explain to me why you're here? It's midnight, Aunt May would be worried about you," your window was opened now, but you stood in the way before he could climb through, an interrogative look of yours stared at him accusingly.

"I told her I'd be over at yours," he answered cheekily. "Just like the old times, eh?"

Judging from your unbudging stance and eyes practically shooting lazers, Jake knew he had struck a nerve that have been left untreated for far too long. He sighed a defeated breath, squeezing through forcefully and dropping his backpack onto the ground.

"I know," he didn't need to say much, yet he conveyed more than needed. "I've been a shitty best friend,"

It was your turn to sigh. You shook your head, averted your gaze to the ground and stepped aside, giving him more space. "You know a 'sorry' alone won't cut it this time,"

He followed your every movement, joining you to sit on the edge of your bed, a small space in between separated you and him. "I know. But I really am sorry, Y/N. I mean it,"

"I just want you to be honest with me, Jake. I know you're busy, I know you're trying to get the girl of your dreams or whatever, good for you, but it feels like you've forgotten about me or something,"

"I didn't forget about you. How could I ever?"

"Well, then stop acting like it! A text would suffice," you stood up, back facing him just so you could hide your face from him and the tears welling up in your eyes.

"Y/N," he grabbed a hold of your wrist, cold fingers wrapped around your skin, his touch ever so gentle. "I'm sorry. I know I fucked up … many times, and a single 'sorry' wouldn't make up all the hurt I caused you, b–but there's a reason why,"

"What is it then?" You whirled around to face him, the dark of the room casted a shadow over his face, bringing out the fatigue and injury on his delicate features. "What the fuck, Jake? Are you hurt again?"

"It's nothing,"

"You said it's nothing every time you turned up hurt, and I never ask many questions, but Jake, it feels like you're hiding something from me," your hand reached up for his face, hovering over the bruises and mild cuts on his lips and skin. "I don't know you anymore,"

Jake moved his face away a little, grabbing that hand of yours which hovered over his face, lacing his fingers into yours, the rough surface of skin contrasting your soft touch. "I–I wish I could tell you what it is right now, Y/N, I really do, but it's not the right time. I need you to trust me, I need you to believe me, I don't want to hurt you,"

There was a moment of silence where you stood before him, hands intertwined with his, your hurtful gaze scanning his every feature that you knew too well. Jake never lied to you, you knew that, but why couldn't you fully trust him this time? There was a sense of truth and lie hidden behind his words, but you knew one thing, he was genuine. Yet, it wasn't enough.

"Let me make it up to you. There's this carnival in the city tomorrow night, you and I, hang out, what do you say?" He tried offering a smile, which eventually turned uncertain. "We can spend the entire day together. Just you and me,"

"No bailing on me this time?"

"Promise,"

"You do?"

He held up your interlocked hands, then intertwined your's and his pinky fingers together, something you and him always did when it came to serious promises despite the childishness to the whole pinky promises thing. "Promise," he repeated.

"I believe you, Jake. I always do, and I just don't want you to get yourself in danger, whatever it is that you're doing. Whenever you turn up bruised and beaten, I–I just feel helpless, and you push me away every time,"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, taking your interlocked hands and placing them on his chest, near to where his heart resided. "I promise to tell you the truth soon. I just need to be ready,"

"When you're ready," you gave his hand an affirming squeeze, a reassuring smile creeping up onto your lips. "Do you want to stay over?"

"I didn't turn up with a packed bag for nothing," he laughed, the air lightening up much more compared to earlier. "I'll sleep on the ground like always,"

Once you were done manoeuvring and setting up the sleeping bag for Jake, you were finally in bed for the second time that night, except now, you had Jake sleeping on the ground beside your bed. It wasn't a rare occasion having him sleep over, just maybe this time it was a tad bit more awkward given the situation you had earlier.

"Jake," you spoke into the darkness, your eyes trained on that one spot on your ceiling.

He hummed back in response.

"Nothing has changed between us, right?"

A beat of silence, the whirring of your A/C was what remained. Then, he spoke. "No. Nothing's ever going to change. Nothing will change,"

It sounded familiar, the way he said it and the enunciation he had in every word. You shook it off, given the late night and a mushy brain, you didn't give it a second thought.

"I'm glad. Goodnight, Jake."

"Goodnight."

Despite the reassurance from Jake, you descended into sleep with a pit in your gut. You could barely sleep with him next to you, thinking you could find a cure to every trouble that existed between you and him to fix it all. How could he say there'd be no changes when there's a bigger crack forming on your heart?

The next morning was like any other whenever Jake stayed over. An empty kitchen that allowed you to make some simple breakfast and after, you bid Jake goodbye for the moment before meeting him later on that day.

Upon stepping into your room, you spotted a black lump sitting under the window. It was Jake's backpack. He was already long gone from your apartment by then.

You advanced towards his backpack, held it up to move it somewhere else, but it only caused the contents inside to spill out. Knowing how clumsy Jake always was, you figured his backpack had been unzipped the entire time.

You glanced at the pile of mess littered on your floor, a clump of red catching your eyes amongst the rest. Curiosity got the best of you despite knowing you shouldn't pry, but the moment your fingers made contact with it, the question marks in your head increased by tenfold.

Spandex material. You pinched it at first, feeling the material against your skin, then you finally got the guts to hold it up entirely, revealing something far beyond expectations.

Spiderman suit?

Was it a fake one? Jake could've always bought it from Amazon. You held it closer for inspection, noticing how it was worn out, slight tears on the bottoms. It couldn't be a fake, something in you knew. The dried blood stains on some spots gave it away.

Everything made sense to you now. Jake being secretive, hiding the truth from you every time you asked, turning up hurt and disappearing at random times just for the news to report Spiderman's appearance after. All of them were finally connected in your head, and revelations about his suspiciousness were known by you.

It hit you. Jake was spiderman. Your best friend was that vigilante swinging around the city saving people and fighting crimes. He was the one who walked and swung you home. He always knew.

You let out a breath of disbelief, knees feeling weak and head spinning. How were you to shoulder the truth after this? Pretend like nothing's wrong when everything is wrong and weird. It was practically impossible to patch up the existing crack that continued to worsen.

Shoving Jake's belongings back into the bag, you shouldered it and made your way to his place. Your mind was in a haze, the thought of him being Spiderman was hard to wrap around. Sometimes ignorance was genuinely bliss, you wished this was one of those times.

You didn't know if it was a good or bad thing that Jake wasn't home when you turned up at his door, meeting a confused looking Aunt May instead. Apparently, Jake went out in search of his backpack that was currently in your hands, so you had no choice but to call him and wait for him to be back.

How could you not have spotted it sooner? Now that you're in his bedroom for possibly the millionth time, everything seems clearer. The map of the city stuck on his wall which had random scribbles and locations circled in red marker ink stood out to you, the box of medicine and ointments sat on his bedside table that you frequently ignored. All the signs were presented before your eyes without your knowledge.

"Hey, sorry for keeping you waiting," Jake closed his bedroom door after almost half an hour of waiting for his appearance. His hair was dishevelled, clearly panicked and alarmed.

"No, it's okay, we're supposed to meet up anyway," you sat up from lying on his bed, nodding at the backpack sitting on his desk. "Got your baby back,"

"Oh my God," he crossed the room with big steps and had zero hesitation when it came to unzipping it to check his belongings. "Did I leave it at your place?"

"You did,"

"Thought I left it out there somewhere," he murmured under his breath, then zipped the bag up. You knew why he was so secretive, and it made even more sense why he always brought it around.

Jake most likely felt your wandering eyes on him judging from the way he spun around and shielded his bag from view, trying to divert your attention away. "Want to watch a movie?"

How could you possibly say no? That sly prick.

You didn't indulge in his suspicious behaviour further now that you were aware of his secret, though you pretended not to. He did say he would reveal it to you soon, but that 'soon' was quite unknown. At this point, you didn't know who was going to be the first one to reveal it. Either you or him.

You spent half of the day binging on movies, ate an early dinner and then walked to the carnival together. Along the way there, you couldn't stop yourself from taking quick glances at Jake. The street lights illuminated his features under the darkening sky, the loud chatter of the crowd drowned out and it was only him in your world. Even as he asked you questions, you blindly nodded to most of them.

How could you not fall for him? He bought you drinks without question, won you prizes at those booths, held your hand as you walked through the crowds. It was as if Jake Sim himself was blind enough to not know what he was doing to you.

"Enjoying the night?" Jake threw his arm around your shoulder ever so casually that it had you holding your breath for a minute.

"You won me a big bear, of course I am," you held onto the stuffed toy tightly, grinning at the memory of Jake winning during his first try.

"What's next? Wanna stop by that art and craft booth then we go on the ferris wheel?" Jake definitely did know his way into your heart.

"Sounds good,"

You thought the night would eventually end with peace and quiet, but before it could even end, it had been ruined beyond belief.

The big screen suddenly flashed to a news reporter, the background looking chaotic and people were fleeing. It was live news, the whole thing was happening as you breathed. You and Jake stood rooted, staring at the big screen just like many others did, listening in on the broadcast.

'Just in, a monstrous creature was seen terrorizing and climbing along the Oscorp building. It was spotted not long ago, but now it has disappeared into the building, its whereabouts unknown. Workers of Oscorp have fled the building, but not all of them, some were said to be present in the building until now.'

You glanced at Jake, a sinking feeling in your gut. It was a sour thought knowing he's about to get himself in danger yet again, but having him bailing once more cut deeper than a falling knife. As a human, you wanted him to save lives and the city. However, you were also his best friend, and you hated to be selfish, but you just wanted him to be there without having to leave every single moment.

The conflict in your eyes matched Jake's, who was evidently struggling with himself. You tried to mask it, yet hurt and sadness was hard to ignore or hide.

"Oscorp … Gwen," the faint hush of a murmur was audible under his breath, causing you to cock your head at him.

"What?"

"I–I, Y/N, I have an emergency," he removed his arm around you, the hold on his backpack strap tightened.

"Jake," to scream at him? Let him leave? All of the above? You struggled with your emotions as you tried to understand and empathise, you always did, but couldn't you just have him this one time?

"I'm sorry …" his voice was weak, he knew how much pain and hurt he caused you, and retreating away from your disappointed face wasn't going to solve anything, just the problem downtown, but not the cracks that were forming right now.

"I know, Jake," you shouted when he was a distance away from you. He turned around, eyes widened and pupils blown, a mix of confusion and surprise painted his features. "I know about you,"

He was breathless, he didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. He left without a trace, and once again, you were left alone to fend for yourself. You wanted to understand, you do, but it was hard.

You glanced at the big screen for one last time, uttering a silent curse under your breath, and decided to head to where the scene was. Crazy? Stupid? You were everything described. That was probably why you and Jake were best friends.

Taking the cab was one of the stupidest decisions you made, and that excluded the part where you're literally bringing yourself to danger. Thanks to whatever that was terrorising the Oscorp building, the traffic was heavier than usual, so you had no choice but to run on foot. It was the most running you ever did all year.

You wondered if it was a good idea to even be there. Answer: no. The police cars were everywhere, all of which were stationed with police that were armed with rifles. A helicopter circled the building, several broadcasting stations and their reporters were present too. It was a mess.

"What's happening here?" You were practically out of breath, panting, as you asked a random bystander there.

"Some freakish lizard creature. I think Spiderman swung into the building to save the remaining victims. They were all rescued but Spiderman's still fighting in there,"

"You saw him? Spiderman?"

"I did! Red suit, white webs, he was so heroic when he crashed through the glass panels,"

"That's the one," you said unnervingly, disliking the uncertainty of it all. Jake was putting himself in danger and you could do nothing about it. How long did this go on for? You were left in the dark for far too long.

Soon, which almost felt like forever, you saw a speck of red escaping from the gap in the building with somebody in hand. You held your breath out of anxiety, heart thumping, listening in on all the noises and reports coming from everywhere around you.

"There he is! Spiderman!" A reporter appeared next to you, absolutely transfixed with the superhero slinging through the dark sky and eventually landing in the distance. "He has the last hostage in hand! A girl!"

A girl?

You pushed past the crowd, trying to get a closer look at Spiderman and the entire scene before you. There he was, speaking to the police, but there was somebody else too. Gwen Stacy.

An overwhelming feeling crashed down on you like a heavy weight of boulders falling from the sky. Confusion, hurt, heartbreak, altogether they penetrated you harder than you could manage to breathe. One step, two step, you took many steps back before turning away and hailing for a cab home.

He wasn't yours, and he wasn't yours to lose either.

Returning home to an empty apartment was nothing new, except it did hit differently this time. Your heart was empty, mind in a haze, it was as if your narrator had drawn swirls over your head. You wished things had turned out in another way. You and Jake, how you found out about his secret, him hiding his secret. If only all of them had another ending than what you had in the present.

You sat slumped over in bed, the desk lamp was the only thing that provided light for the darkness in your room. The shadow looming over your window went unnoticed by you. That was until a series of knocks sounded and you jumped out of bed in alert, finding it strange how there was nothing once your eyes trained on your window.

Well, there goes your future.

You stepped a little closer. Just then, the window was jerked open by some unseen force, a red cladded face peeking his head into frame. Spiderman, or more accurately, Jake, was standing on your fire escape again.

He dropped his backpack onto your bedroom floor, letting himself in wordlessly. You stared at him, not knowing whether to speak first or let him be the one to do it. After all, he had left you hanging, it's the least he could do.

Jake pulled off the mask from his head, revealing a rather beat up face and messy, dishevelled hair that was coated with sweat. "You knew?"

His voice was tired, but the confusion and hurt punctuated through his words. He inched close to you, but you took a step back, unable to meet his gaze.

"Well, it wasn't a long time," you muttered. "Just today, actually … coincidentally,"

"How?"

"Your backpack. I swear I didn't look through it, it was unzipped and when I picked it up, everything spilled out. Your suit revealed it all," you chewed at your bottom lip, Jake's eyes boring into yours, the prickling feeling of anxiety crawled all over your skin. "I didn't want to find out this way either,"

"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier. I wanted to, trust me, you're one of the closest people I have in my life. But I just didn't know when or how to break it to you. I wanted to protect you, to keep you safe," he was equally guilty for hiding it for a long time, but you understood the reason behind it. Being a hero comes with a great responsibility, that was what movies taught you anyway.

"Jake, I know, and it's okay, but I just wish to be selfish for a little. I want you to be here with me, to be there for me a–and be my best friend for a minute," you felt yourself losing the will to speak as seconds passed by. "I feel like I'm losing you,"

"You're not. I'm here," he pressed his palm against his heart, stepping closer until he was barely a few inches away. "Always,"

"I don't want to lose you, Jake," your voice wavered, a clear sheen of tears glazed your eyes. "I'm in love with you," your words came out in a whisper, a hushed confession that spilled with no warning, coming from the deepest, darkest pits of your heart. Even then, you couldn't believe you had actually said it, stilling in place and blinking in shock.

Jake's breath hitched, his movements frozen. You wondered about the possible scenarios you were about to face, ones that you thought of whenever you had the urge to spill your love confession. All of them certainly didn't prepare you for what was happening next.

"I'm sorry," shock turned into instant panic. Your hands shot out to create a small distance between you and him. "Ignore what I just said. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable—"

Jake didn't say much, and in a swift motion, he grabbed a hold of your hand, pulled you into him. One hand holding your wrist, the other cupping your face to tilt your head and his lips met yours.

You could barely register it. The weight of his mouth against yours created a mass of fireworks in both your head and stomach. The shock evaporated from your body and relief took its spot. You melted against his touch, leaning your body closer to his.

Jake kissed you like no man could have ever done. He left a part of himself, imprinted his every unspoken word into a deep and passionate kiss. You wondered if this was what it felt like being loved by him.

Forever was what you wished for when it came to kissing him. Yet, it eventually came to an end just like every one of your favourite movies. This time, however, you weren't disappointed, you were glad.

"Don't apologise. Y/N, I'm in love with you too," his hand on your cheek remained, the dim light managed to bring out the sparks in his pupils. It was your turn to be confused. Didn't he have a crush? "I know what you're thinking. Gwen—" it's freaky how he always knew, "—I was kinda dumb, to be honest. I was always in love with you but it took me years and a girl to only realise that,

"She was nothing like you. The more I got to know her, the more I thought of you. I wasn't trying to like her, I was trying to find a piece of you in her. Being the coward that I am, I ran away from facing the thought of liking you, I didn't want to ruin our friendship. So, I kept on entertaining the thoughts of liking Gwen instead, but none of it was real. You're the one who's constantly taking up space in my mind, in my heart,"

The fireworks from earlier exploded ten folds in your mind. You couldn't believe you were experiencing every passing moment listening to Jake's confession. He felt the same way as you did for him. He has had the same pining for you like the same way you had for him. Years, years of unspoken romantic love for one another that both were too scared to touch upon.

Jake took your shell shocked silence as an opportunity to continue on. "I'm sorry for standing you up all the time. I'm sorry for hiding the truth from you. I'm sorry for avoiding you. I'm sorry for not realising it sooner. But I love you, Y/N. You're my best friend, more than anything, you're the only person I want to have occupying my mind all the Goddamn time,"

"Jake," your hand travelled to place itself onto his which rested on your face. "I love you too," you laced your hand into his, the intimacy that would've been seen platonic days ago was now something more than that. You and him both felt the shift, it was apparent.

"I don't care that you're Spiderman," you continued, not once breaking eye contact with him, letting him stare into yours as you did the same. "You're Jake to me, you forever will be, and that's all that matters,"

Jake's delicate features melted into a smile. His pretty smile that had you swooning was on display like a trophy, influencing you enough to crack a small grin too. He looped an arm around your waist, dipping you slightly and pressing a haste kiss on your lips, then your cheeks.

"I guess I can now say I've swung into your heart," he teasingly sent a wink flying at you, to which you responded with an eye roll. Some things never changed, but his ego definitely was inflated now.

"Shut up before I kick you out," you threw a light punch at his shoulder, which he dodged almost unsuccessfully. "Come on, let's patch you up then we can go to bed," you patted his shoulder, walking towards your bathroom.

"Demanding," he whistled under his breath, picking up his discarded mask from the floor.

"Don't make me add a black eye to your face,"

"But you like my pretty face,"

"You want to test it out?"

"Okay, okay. I'm coming."

The night eventually ended with Jake being patched up and sleeping on your bed instead of his usual spot on the ground. These little changes was what you anticipated most, but other than that, it was safe to say nothing would be changing when it came to your and Jake's relationship. If anything, it was about to be stronger.

So what if he was Spiderman? At least you knew Spiderman was yours, and he had indeed swung into your heart.

Dating your best friend who had a secret identity was fun.

You got to discuss maths in school and listen to his adventures after. Not to mention, he would swing you around New York City at times once the clock striked past midnight. No other girl was going to get a date like this. Ten out of ten, you may add.

With the fun came the terror. You do fear for Jake's safety almost every time he's out, and it has become a routine to patch him up till the point where you had to restock your emergency kit. This time was like no other when Jake appeared through the window soundlessly in his Spiderman suit.

"Hey," he was breathless, tumbling over the window still.

You jumped, not even realising his appearance. "What the hell? Jake? Oh my God," you got up right away to support his tired body, but he ended up sliding down onto the ground anyway.

"Are you injured anywhere? Bleeding?" You checked for his body, trying to spot any obvious cuts, making yourself comfortable in the space between his legs.

"No," his hand reached for the end of his mask, pulling it up halfway only to reveal his lips. "Can I get a kiss?"

"Are you serious?"

"I am dead serious,"

You rolled your eyes, leaning down to press a kiss on his lips that eventually widened into a satisfied smile. You gently slapped his face, eliciting a sweet laugh from him and with a tug of his hand, he fully removed the mask from his head, revealing his pretty face that you missed.

"I got something for you," his hand reached out to brush your hair away from your face, his touch ever so gentle when it came to you. He dug something out of his bag, pulling out a fresh bouquet of flowers. "Ta-da,"

"Flowers?" You accepted the bouquet from him, noticing all of your favourite flowers in it. He remembered, even the littlest details about you, he remembered them all.

"I got them on the way here," you raised an eyebrow at him. He threw his hands up in defence. "Hey, I didn't steal them. I actually paid for them. They gave me a discount too because I was in my suit,"

You resisted a smile. "You're unbelievable,"

"Unbelievably cute? Romantic? Handsome?" He leaned in closer to you, noses close enough to brush against one another.

"Go away," you squeezed his cheek, and he just let you do so without any fight. You threw your arms around his neck, hugging him briefly. "I like them,"

"What about me?"

"I like you too,"

"But I like you more,"

You threw your head back laughing, a simple sound which was enough to have Jake's heart racing. "We're not making this into a competition, stupid. Now, go shower or else you're not sleeping on my bed,"

"But—"

"Nope. Shower or get exiled,"

"Fine," he dragged his body up sluggishly, looking almost like a puppy being forced to his dismay: the shower. "You're not joining me?"

"Don't make me chase you out." you threw a pillow at him that he skillfully dodged. Damn his spider senses. His laughter echoed around your bedroom until he disappeared into the bathroom, the sound of it gave comfort to you and your beating heart.

Things might've changed a little in different aspects, but you knew nothing could change you or Jake altogether. He was your best friend and lover no matter what he was. Spiderman or loverboy, he was everything to you. All you knew was that he was going to be by your side no matter what, protecting your heart alongside the city.

☆ permanent taglist (open):

@silentkarnival @strvlveera @freshsaladbowl @bejewelledgirl @fakeuwus @yenqa @hsgwrld @ilovegyuvin @enhacatalog @aishigrey @shinrjj @kgneptun @ilovegyuvin @hyunniesvlog @eleanorheartschishiya @nanabbg @letwiiparkjay @teddywonss @classicroyalty @run2x @yannnnaj @jakesfurry @gyuwooboozle @nylajp24 @usedto-me @vernonburger @simjyunnie @haerasblog @jakevascaino @sunpov @ms-no1kpopstan @jiawji @rikizm @cheerrxy @kimsunoops

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jwonsoon · 26 days

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Enhypen's reactions to you being super talkative when they're tired ⋆.˚ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

☾ a/n: It has been a minute !!! Me and bff have been so so busy since it's our final semester of high school. But I am here to provide for my delusional folk <3 I honestly wrote this on a whim because I've been feeling extra insane lately with all the work I have to do so ignore any stupid mistakes I make in this. I want to post more on here for sure, senior year is coming to a close soon and me and bff are moving into a new university together so hopefully we'll have time for more posts. Okay enough yapping, go read! pairings: enhypen x g/n reader genre: fluff

cw: kissing (nothing crazy dw), ignore grammatical errors!

JUNGWON

He doesn’t care if his life is on the line, the last thing he’s going to do is make you feel rushed when you’re talking about something you’re genuinely interested in.

He finds you SO cute when you’re mumbling about something that you enjoy !! He gazes at you with his boba eyes nodding along to everything you say

“Oh my god sorry I’m talking so much” you say to him embarrassed at how comfortable you’ve gotten in his presence and how he’s probably so tired

He’ll immediately shake his head no and tell you “keep talking i love listening to you”

Because he’s tired he pulls you into a hug and plays with your hair while you talk.

His sign that he’s tired is when he gets really touchy. Like he is all of a sudden kissing your forehead and playing with your cheeks which is usually a sign for you to call it a day…

JAKE

We all know this guy cannot for the life of him control his sleepiness but he loves you so he makes his adjustments

Its a shame but this guy is NOT !!! LISTENING !!!

He’s cuddling you and you’re yapping away he’s going to nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck and just keep going “mhm, i see”

You notice that he isn’t listening so you ask a question to throw him off and he responds with “yeah totally” making you chuckle.

He looks up flustered realizing he just admitted to not paying attention to you.

“Sorryyyyy!!!!” He pouts leaning to kiss you.

“Im listening I just need a minute” he spends that “minute” sleeping on your arm and then he sits up shaking his head like a puppy trying to wake himself up.

Claps, sits up, “Okay! talk! I’m up.”

HEESEUNG

He’s always up fighting his sleep to play video games anyway so he’s the most prepared in situations like these

If he notices your in a particularly chatty mood and he’s sleepy, he will drag both of you out of bed and make sure you’re sitting up so that he isn’t prone to falling asleep on accident

You’re talking and talking and he is giving the same exact energy back!! he will laugh and giggle at everything

When he’s really getting tired he yawns out loud and goes “baby.. im a bit sleepy.. actually no no keep going, just come here”

He’ll open his arms wide for you to lay on his chest while you talk

You notice his eyes are closed so you stop and start getting up only for him to pull you back down and say “just stay here, i like listening to your pretty voice”

SUNGHOON

He is so in love with you. it is PATHETIC!

He is so sleepy too and looks insanely cuddly so whenever you are talkative you lay facing him and talk his ear off while hugging him

He is way too in love to tell you that you need to please shut up because he is SO TIRED so instead he kisses you to ease his tiredness away

“That girl” —kiss “is so” —kiss “annoying” —kiss

“Hoon stopp” to which he kisses you again, mumbling against your lips “I’m listening baby”

SUNOO

No matter how tired he is it fades away when hes with you

You’re always spilling the latest gossip to Sunoo and he eats it up everytime.

“She actually has something against me” you say to which Sunoo responds “how could anyone hate this cute face” pinching your cheeks

You brush his hand away and jokingly roll your eyes and thats all it takes for his cuteness aggression to launch through the roof

He is all of a sudden squeezing you tight going “Why are you so cute you’re just so cute you’re so cute”

He is literally holding you shaking your shoulders while smiling so big going “No tell me!!! why are you so cute??”

“Sunoo you’re scaring me” you say to which he responds “Good! I’m pissed off you’re perfect.”

You guys will literally spend the whole night talking, Sunoo literally forgot that he was tired in your presence

JAY

He is half asleep walking through the door

But! that doesn’t stop him from at least pretending to listen to you

As he’s putting his stuff down you are following him around talking about the ending of the show that you just watched

Hes humming in response and smiling to himself

He stops suddenly turns to face you pulling you in for a hug “Baby I’m so tired today i dont know why….” sighing into your arms

He didn’t want to explicitly say to you please shut up but it was definitely a sign to you to take it down a notch

He’d look down to kiss you on the lips and say “Let’s talk in bed hm?”

When you guys are in bed he lets you lay on his chest and he says “Now tell me all about that show you were talking about”

He will listen to you, or at least try to, but with his fingers playing with your hair you are slowly lulled to sleep.

He'll look at you, smile, kiss your forehead and you will wake up confused as to how he shut you up so quickly.

NI-KI

Riki is definitely a little more honest but thats what you love about him!

“I can see all your teeth babe, what’s got you cheesing?” he says to you as he sits down on the bed

“I have so much to tell you!” you say to him patting the space beside you for him to come and lay in.

“And I have so much sleep to catch up on!” He says mockingly as he lays down next to you. You pout to which he kisses you and says “Go on, talk my ear off”

You start going off on a tangent and he is just looking at you with a boxy smile on his face and laughing at how your facial expressions are so dramatic in comparison to the light hearted story you’re telling

He stares at you with glistening eyes after his 40th yawn in a row

“You know you talk too much, right? It’s a good thing you’re cute” he would say pulling you into a hug

“That’s rude! and I wasn’t don—” you are interrupted by a kiss on the lips

“I promise to listen all day tomorrow, okay? Let’s sleep now?” He says rubbing circles on your back, with his eyes already closed.

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vanteguccir · 2 months

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Y/N was in her shared bedroom with Chris, lying on the bed above her favorite duvet while answering some emails from her work on her pink macbook. Her body was already showered and covered in her boyfriend's blue pajamas, comfortable enough to sleep as soon as possible.

At one point, her ears were filled with the sound of voices and loud laughter, which the girl was unable to recognize. Y/N lifted her head, frowning as she focused on the outside, trying to distinguish them.

When she was unsuccessful, she slowly got out of bed, leaving her macbook and phone on her pillow. Her hands turned the handle, pulling the door open and moving her body through the frame.

The girl climbed the stairs in slow, mute steps due to the socks that covered her feet, only tilting her head up when she reached the last one.

Y/N's eyes widened when she saw a group of nine people in her living room spread out across the sofa, puffs, and floor. The conversation flowed normally between them, some comfortably using their phones while nodding their heads to something others said.

Her eyes quickly met Larray's, who was facing the top of the stairs that led to her and Chris room. The boy's face automatically lit up when he realized it was her, a smile expanding across his cheeks.

An excited scream escaped his throat as he stood up from his seat in a puff, running towards Y/N.

That caught the attention of everyone, who raised their eyes and focused on Larray's figure and, consequently, on Y/N as well.

"Hey girl! I missed you so much today." Larray spoke excitedly, pulling the girl into his arms, hugging her tightly.

A laugh escaped Y/N's lips, who wrapped her own arms around Larray's waist, returning the gesture.

"Baby!" The sound of Chris's voice echoed through the four walls.

Y/N slowly moved away from Larray, dodging his body and walking towards her boyfriend, who was almost jumping in place in excitement at seeing her still awake.

A shy smile took over her features as she received so many looks at the same time, focusing her orbs on Chris.

Chris frowned when noticing her tired eyes and slumped shoulders.

"I'm sorry, pretty girl. Did we wake you? I didn't realize we were being so loud-"

"No, baby! No, I was answering some emails before going to sleep." The girl responded in a low tone, shaking her head and allowing Chris's arms to pull her into a tight hug, his lips sealing her forehead lightly, keeping his arms around her.

"Y/N, this is Tara, Jake, Johnnie, Sam, and Colby. Guys, this is Y/N, our confidant, best friend, and Chris's girlfriend." Nick quickly made introductions while still seating, momentarily pointing to each person as he said their names.

Y/N smiled, feeling her cheeks burn in shyness. She raised her right hand, waving briefly at the people there, a small "Hi" escaping her lips.

"Hi, girly! Oh my God, I saw you in several of the triplets' videos, and I was dying to meet you!" Tara quickly broke the ice, standing up from her seat and walking over to Y/N, bringing her in for a quick hug before pulling her to sit next to herself, ready to start gossiping.

The girl glanced at her boy, who was already looking at her with eyes full of love and joy at seeing his girlfriend socializing with his new friends, and people he knew would become important to him and his brothers.

It was just as important for him to have her approval than anyone else's.

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Just a really little blurb, I stopped for lunch and could finally see the triplets' new posts with the others, and I needed to write something!!

I did it in 20 minutes, so I'm sorry if it sucks 😚😚🩷🩷

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #x reader #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo blurb #fluff #jake webber #johnnie guilbert #sam golbach #colby brock #tara yummy #larray

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lizispunkk · 7 months

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#miguel o’hara blurbs #jake lockely x reader #jake lockley x reader #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara smut #nathan bateman x reader #orestes x reader #poe dameron x reader #steven grant x reader #oscar isaac #oscar isaac x reader

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isoobie · 2 months

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cherries ✴︎ ( sjy )

another taste of your lips, perhaps? wc 117 & fluff

“can i kiss you again, babe?”

jake asks you in the most softest voice ever, how could you possibly say no?

but before he gets to hear your answer your lips are already back on his savouring the sweet, saccharine flavour of cherries coating his mouth.

just like cherries, jake’s lips are just as addicting. once you start eating them you can never stop, it’s about cherries of course.

your hands wrap around his soft, brunette locks as his hands graze right above your hips holding onto you so gently with grace. the smell of his citrusy cologne mixed with the taste of cherries on his tongue intoxicates you.

the sound of his phone ringing gets you two out of your thoughts but jake still has you wrapped in his embrace.

“wasn’t that too short for you, babe.”

he purposely lets the rhetorical question roll off his tongue, already knowing the answer.

“nope, it was fine.”

you want to see how he reacts, would he be shocked, confused, jealous or even playful about it?

however, just like how did it, his lips attach to yours before the words can spill out, engulfing you in a familiar sense of warmth, you could never get tired of two things — cherries and jake.

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kimsohn · 2 years

Note

maya! i loved the other one shot <3 you did with this prompt: "character is taken hostage by the antagonist, their lover goes absolutely ballistic, doing everything in their power to protect their lover, the antagonist has to restrain them, but it doesn't stop the character from trying to reach their lover, doesn’t matter what happens to them, doesn’t matter if they get beaten as long as their lover is safe" could you maybe also do it for enhypen? 🥰

anything . jake x gn!reader about . 410 words, angst warnings . none!

when jake first got into a relationship with you, he thought everything would be okay. as long as you both never became public and the news of you two dating didn't fall into the wrong hands, he assumed that you both would be drama-free and that everything would be calm.

but jake never realized that chaos tends to erupt when two different worlds collide.

all good things never last. jake just had to find it out the hard way. he was too blind to notice the incoming danger he had put you into by being closer with you, a danger that grew exponentially every single second.

somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew this would happen one day, especially the betrayal of those closest to him. but he failed to take the necessary precautions, and now, it was too late.

no matter how much he tries to bargain with his family in the next few moments, or how much money he'll throw at their feet, it would never be able to reverse the damage that ensued.

"dad, please let me see y/n."

his dad shakes his head for the millionth time, his face remaining firm and stoic as he watches his son try his best to fight off tears.

"i can't do that jake. it's time you stop fooling around with y/n and actually concentrate on your future."

"but y/n is my future!"

jake swears he's seeing red. his vision blurs and he can feel droplets streaming down his cheeks, but he quite frankly couldn't care less because all that's running through his mind is you, you, and only you.

"if you won't let me see them, then i'll do it myself."

jake knows that his dad will never understand his position. for all he understands, to his dad, his pleas are only equivalent to that of when he complained for a new car, or a new phone, or even a new pair of shoes.

but to jake, you're different. you're not some object he wants to obtain, or some destination he wants to conquer. to him, you're priceless, a mere feeling of love in his heart that he wants to receive, give, and cherish with you for the rest of his lifetime.

and as he storms out the building, his whole lifetime opposing him with every step he wasn't meant to take, he knows he'll do anything to save you.

anything to be yours.

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thewulf · 28 days

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Lost and Found || Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Summary: Request - I was wondering if I could request a Jake x Reader. I was thinking a good friends situation where they were both interested in the other but didn’t want to mess up their friend group dynamic and so they never said anything. And of course they were each oblivious to the fact they were into each other,.. Read Rest Here

A/N: Ahhh sorry anon, this took forever to write as I was feeling uninspired. Turns out I just needed to watch TGM and whew! I forgot how much I love Jake Seresin and the TGM crew :) Hope you guys enjoy!

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female Reader

Word Count: 4.2k +

T/W : Angsty in the beginning

The air in Virginia was thick with the scent of saltwater and fresh possibility when you first noticed the cocky Lieutenant who was making a beeline towards you. It was a humid afternoon on the naval base, and you, a newly hired trauma surgeon, were immersed in your work, lost in the world of medical charts and patient files. And just as you were about to get up, he walked in with a cocky grin and an air of self-assurance that demanded attention. You knew the type, he had to be a pilot. They just had the air about them.

"Hey there, beautiful," he greeted you with a wink, his voice carrying across the room with a confidence that bordered on arrogance. Yeah, he was a pilot. Only they had the reassurance to be so fearless on a first interaction.

You raised an eyebrow at his boldness, unimpressed but intrigued by his approach. "Can I help you with something?" you replied, your tone cool and collected. You knew how to deal with his type. Be dismissive. Ignore them and eventually they’ll get bored enough to leave you alone.

The blonde-haired man slid into the seat opposite you, his grin never faltering as he leaned in closer. "Just couldn't resist the chance to introduce myself to the most captivating woman on base," he said smoothly, his words dripping with charm.

A chuckle escaped your lips, though you tried to suppress it. That was a new one for sure. "Flattery will get you nowhere Lieutenant," you responded, a hint of amusement in your voice.

He grinned in response, undeterred by your playful resistance. His eyes flashed down to your chest which displayed your rank and last name. "Ah, but I'm not just trying to flatter you Lieutenant Commander. I genuinely want to know the name of the woman who's been keeping me up at night," he admitted, his tone sincere but laced with playful arrogance.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his persistence. "Well, in that case, I suppose you'll have to earn it," you teased, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. For whatever reason you were having fun with this interaction. It wasn’t often you would give these Navy boys much time but there was something about him. Something that had you setting down your charts to get a good look at him.

Jake leaned back in his chair, his expression turning thoughtful. "Fair enough," he conceded, his gaze locking with yours. "I'm Jake, by the way. And you are?"

You maintained a playful smile, keeping him guessing as you decided to reveal just a fragment of yourself. "I'm a trauma surgeon," you replied cryptically, letting the mystery linger in the air. It was then that you noticed how handsome he was. Blonde, clean-cut hair and deep green eyes… who wouldn’t swoon for that?

Jake's eyebrows lifted in genuine surprise, his cocky demeanor momentarily faltering. "A trauma surgeon? Now, that's impressive," he remarked, a newfound respect coloring his tone. "Here I am, just a pilot, and you're out there saving lives and I take them."

You chuckled softly at his dark humor, appreciating the humility that so rarely came from the pilots you had known in the past. "It's not a competition," You assured him, feeling a sense of something beginning to form between the two of you. No wonder he was so cocky. He was striking and a pilot to boot? It should’ve been over then and there, but he drew you in further than you had ever intended.

Jake nodded, his gaze lingering on you with a newfound sense of admiration. "I know, but still...what you do is pretty incredible. Badass even.” he said earnestly, a genuine warmth in his voice.

As the conversation continued to flow between you, a comfortable exchange began to form, fueled by mutual respect and a shared sense of adventure. And though you kept him guessing with your playful evasions, there was a part of you that couldn't help but feel drawn to Jake – to his confidence, his charm, and the undeniable spark that crackled between you. And so, as the afternoon sun cast long shadows across the mess hall and the sounds of laughter filled the air, you found yourself fascinated by Jake, captivated by his irresistible charm and magnetic personality. Little did you know, this chance encounter would be the beginning of a friendship – and perhaps something more – that would change the course of your lives forever.

Over time, you found yourself drawn to him in ways you couldn't quite explain. Despite the demands of your respective roles on the base, you made time to see each other whenever you could – stolen moments between shifts, late-night conversations beneath the stars, stolen glances in the dimly lit corridors of the barracks. Everyone knew of the two of you. Clearly in love but too stupid to do anything about it.

But beneath the surface, there was an unspoken tension between you, a lingering sense of longing that neither of you dared to acknowledge. You were both fiercely independent individuals, committed to your careers and reluctant to jeopardize the fragile balance of your friendship with something as unpredictable as love. So, you buried your feelings beneath layers of professionalism, convincing yourself that it was better this way – safer, more practical, less likely to end in utter heartbreak. But no matter how hard you tried to ignore it, the spark between you refused to be extinguished, flickering to life with each passing glance, each fleeting touch.

Then, on a random Tuesday afternoon, Jake dropped a bombshell that shattered the delicate equilibrium you had worked so hard to maintain. "I'm being reassigned after this deployment," he confessed, his voice tinged with regret. "To Miramar."

As Jake's words sank in, a heavy silence enveloped the room, suffocating you with the weight of what his departure truly meant. You had been through so much together over the past three years. The highs and the lows, the laughter, and the tears. And now, faced with the prospect of his absence, you couldn't help but feel as though a piece of your heart was being torn away.

"Miramar? To Top Gun?" you echoed, your voice barely above a whisper, betraying the ache in your heart. You knew it was everything he had been working towards. And you knew how damn good of a pilot he was. It just surprised you how soon he was getting sent there. He must’ve been the best of the best.

Jake nodded. His expression somber. "Yeah. It's everything I’ve been working towards, but..." His voice trailed off, leaving the rest unspoken, hanging in the air like a heavy cloud of regret.

But all you could feel was a sense of loss. For the friendship you had built, for the moments you had shared, for the possibility of something more that now seemed out of reach. "I'm so happy for you, Jake. You deserve it. You deserve the whole world." You forced the words out, though they felt like shards of glass tearing at your soul. A single tear escaped your eye, tracing a silent path down your cheek.

Jake reached out, gently wiping away the tear with a look of utter despair in his eyes, as if he couldn't bear to see you cry. "I wish you could come with me," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper, filled with a longing you knew mirrored your own. He grabbed for your hand joining his fingers in with yours.

Tears welled up in your eyes once more, threatening to spill over at any moment. "I know," you replied, your voice thick with unshed tears. "But I'm still in the middle of my fellowship. I can't just drop everything and leave. No matter how badly I want to." Another tear escaped as you realized what this meant. Your little bubble of happiness was going to vanish in an instant.

Jake nodded in understanding, his grip on your hand tightening as if trying to hold onto the moment for just a little while longer. "I know," he murmured, his gaze filled with a mixture of sadness and longing, mirroring the storm of emotions raging within your own heart.

Then, as if trying to lighten the mood, he flashed a small smile. "You know, I used to dream of being a Top Gun pilot when I was a kid," he confessed, a hint of nostalgia in his voice. "Never thought I'd actually get the chance to fly jets like that."

You couldn't help but smile through your tears, touched by his vulnerability. "You've come a long way from your childhood dreams Jake. I knew you’d be able to do it. If anybody could, it’s you," you remarked softly, a sense of pride swelling within you despite the ache in your heart. Because he did deserve it. He may have come off as an arrogant asshole at first, but he was anything but that. He was your best friend. The man who looked out for you over himself time and time again. You loved him but you held it close to your chest. Because you did love him you had to let him go. Let him go live his dreams.

And as the reality of his departure settled over you like a dark cloud. You couldn't help but wonder how you would ever find the strength to say goodbye to him. As you sat there together, holding hands beneath the harsh fluorescent lights of the barracks, you realized that no matter where life took you, no matter how far apart you may be, the bond you shared with Jake would endure – a constant reminder of the love and friendship that had blossomed in the unlikeliest of places.

After Jake's departure, life on the base took on a different rhythm. The days stretched into weeks, and the weeks into months, each passing moment marked by the absence of his laughter, his warmth, his unwavering presence by your side. Despite the distance, you and Jake still found solace in occasional phone calls and sporadic messages, though never as often as you wished.

On an ordinary day, your world was turned upside down once again. Your commanding officer called you into his office, his expression serious as he delivered the news. "Doctor Y/L/N. I have some important news for you," he began, his tone solemn. "Due to some unforeseen circumstances, we've had to make some adjustments to our staffing plan. You're being reassigned."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, a sense of unease settling over you. "Reassigned? But I thought I was heading to Austin for my next rotation. Replacing Doctor Warmack." you replied, trying to mask the anxiety in your voice. You had plans. You were moving to Texas. You had a house picked out. A life you were planning to start. But then again, you were in the military. You should’ve expected this.

Your CO shook his head, his expression unreadable. "Plans have changed. Chula Vista is in urgent need of a trauma surgeon of your caliber," he explained, his words sending a jolt of shock through your system.

Upon hearing the news of your reassignment to Chula Vista, a whirlwind of questions surged within you. "Sir, may I ask where Chula Vista is located?" you inquired tentatively, your voice betraying a mix of curiosity and apprehension. You hadn’t heard of that base. And you could’ve sworn you knew all the potential bases you could’ve been assigned to.

Your commanding officer, a seasoned veteran with a weathered expression, glanced up from his desk, his gaze thoughtful. "Chula Vista is a city just south of here, part of the San Diego metropolitan area," he explained as he pointed to the map of the states, his tone carrying a sense of gravitas. "It's home to several military installations, including Naval Air Station North Island and Naval Base Coronado. It's also in close proximity to Marine Corps Air Station Miramar.”

The mention of North Island and Miramar sent a jolt of emotion through you, memories of Jake flooding your mind with a bittersweet intensity. "Chula Vista also supports Top Gun operations, among many other military endeavors," the CO continued, his voice steady as he provided further context.

You were heading to exactly where Jake was. A shiver of anxiety ripped through you as you processed his words. “Thank you, sir," you replied, a mixture of gratitude and anticipation swelling within you.

As you turned to leave, the weight of the news settled over you, mingling with a newfound sense of purpose. Chula Vista, a city steeped in military history, a place where your path will intersect with Jake's once more. And though uncertainty loomed on the horizon, there was a glimmer of hope shining through. The possibility of reconnecting with Jake and the chance to explore what the future held in store.

As the days passed and your departure drew nearer, you found yourself grappling with a dilemma: should you reach out to Jake before making the move to Chula Vista, or should you let fate take its course and surprise him? The months of silence between you weighed heavily on your mind, leaving you uncertain of where you stood with him. Would he be glad to hear from you, or would your sudden reappearance only complicate things further?

Part of you longed to reach out, to bridge the gap that had formed between you and reconnect before the distance between you grew even wider. But another part of you feared rejection, feared that your efforts would be met with indifference or worse… that Jake had moved on without you.

In the end, you couldn't shake the feeling that fate was leading you back to Jake, guiding you toward a reunion that was long overdue. And so, with a leap of faith, you made the decision to keep your plans a secret, to let the element of surprise be your ally. With each passing day, your anticipation grew, your excitement mingling with a touch of nervousness as you prepared for your move to Chula Vista. And as you boarded the plane bound for your new home, you couldn't help but wonder what the future held in store for you, for Jake, and for the bond that had endured despite the trials and tribulations that had threatened to tear you apart.

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the Hard Deck. You found yourself seated at the bar, engaged in conversation with Penny, the owner of the establishment. The ambience was relaxed, with the murmur of chatter and the clinking of glasses providing a soothing backdrop to your discussion.

Penny, a vibrant and charismatic woman with a penchant for storytelling, leaned in with genuine interest as she got to know you. "So, what brings you to the Hard Deck? I haven’t seen you around here before," she asked, a playful twinkle in her eye.

You offered her a warm smile, appreciating her genuine curiosity. "Just got here a week ago. I've heard so much about this place from my coworkers," you explained, gesturing to the bustling bar around you. "They all recommended it as the must-visit bar in Miramar."

Penny's eyes lit up at your mention of coworkers. "Ah, you must be part of the base personnel then," she observed, a knowing smile playing at the corners of her lips.

You nodded, a sense of camaraderie forming between you. "I am! I'm a trauma surgeon over at the hospital in Chula Vista," you confirmed.

At the mention of your role, Penny's expression shifted, her eyes widening with recognition. "Wait a minute... are you Y/N? Doctor Y/L/N?" she asked, her voice tinged with excitement.

Surprised by her sudden enthusiasm and knowing of your name, you nodded cautiously. "Yes, that's me. But how did you...?" you trailed off, curious about Penny's sudden change in demeanor. Her excitement was palpable, you could feel it in the air.

Penny beamed at you. "Oh, Jake talks about you all the time! You're one of his favorites," she revealed, a hint of mischief dancing in her eyes.

A warmth spread through your chest at her words, touched by Jake's apparent fondness for you. "He does?" you asked, unable to conceal the smile that tugged at your lips.

Penny nodded enthusiastically. "Absolutely! He's always mentioning how talented and dedicated you are. He won’t admit it… or he doesn’t recognize it, but that man is head over heels for you, Doctor," she added with a playful wink.

You couldn't help but chuckle at Penny's teasing, feeling a flutter of anticipation as thoughts of Jake filled your mind. Little did you know, your reunion with him was just moments away, and the excitement of seeing him again filled you with a sense of joyful anticipation. Penny's mischievous grin widened as she caught sight of your reaction. "Oh, don't try to hide it, Y/N. I can see that spark in your eye," she teased, nudging you playfully.

You couldn't help but laugh, feeling a rush of nervous energy coursing through you. "Alright, you caught me," you admitted with a grin. "I'm looking forward to catching up with an old friend."

As you sat at the bar, lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice the door swinging open, admitting a group of pilots. It wasn't until Penny nudged you once more and whispered excitedly that you looked up, your heart skipping a beat as you caught sight of Jake among them.

Before you could react, Jake's eyes locked onto yours, a look of sheer astonishment crossing his face. In a flash, he broke into a wide grin and dashed toward you, weaving through the crowd with purpose. You barely had time to register what was happening before Jake was upon you, pulling you into a massive bear hug that lifted you off your feet. Laughter bubbled up from deep within you as he spun you around in a whirlwind of joy and excitement, the world around you fading away as you surrendered to the moment.

"Y/N!" Jake exclaimed, his voice filled with genuine delight as he held you close, his grip on you tight and unyielding. You couldn't help but laugh along with him, feeling the warmth of his embrace enveloping you like a familiar cocoon. In that moment, it didn't matter who was watching or what anyone else thought. All that mattered was the sheer exhilaration of being reunited with Jake, of feeling his arms around you once again.

"What the hell are you doing here without telling me, Doc?" Jake exclaimed, his voice filled with mock indignation as he held you close, refusing to let you go.

You laughed, feeling a rush of warmth spread through you at the familiarity of his embrace. "Surprise?" you replied, unable to keep the grin from your face as you met his gaze.

Jake shook his head, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Well, consider me surprised," he admitted, his tone playful as he finally set you back down on solid ground. “I have to say, this is the best surprise I've had in a long time." As you stood there together, wrapped up in each other's arms, you couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over you. Despite the years that had passed since you last saw each other, it felt as though no time had passed at all. As though you had simply picked up right where you left off.

As the warmth of your embrace lingered, Jake's eyes remained fixed on yours, a softness settling over his features as he took in the sight of you. His hand remained firmly on your shoulder, his touch comforting and reassuring.

"I've missed you, Y/N," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper as he spoke. "More than you'll ever know." You felt a swell of emotion rise within you at his words, the sincerity in his voice stirring something deep within your heart. Despite the distance and the time that had passed, the connection between you felt as strong as ever – a testament to the bond you shared.

Before you could respond, Jake's gaze softened even further, a flicker of determination shining in his eyes as he made a decision. Without hesitation, he reached for your hand, his fingers intertwining with yours in a silent gesture of solidarity. "Let's catch up," he suggested, his voice filled with a quiet determination. "There's so much I want to tell you, so much I want to share."

You nodded, a smile spreading across your face at his eagerness to spend time together. "I'd love that," you replied, feeling a surge of excitement at the prospect of reconnecting with Jake.

As you stepped outside into the cool night air, the sound of laughter and music fading into the background, Jake turned to you, his expression earnest. "Y/N, there's something I need to say," he began, his voice tinged with nervousness.

You looked at him, curiosity piqued by his serious tone. "What is it, Jake?" you asked, concern flickering in your eyes.

Jake took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before continuing. "I've thought about this moment for so long, wondering if I'd ever get the chance to tell you how I feel," he confessed, his gaze unwavering as he met your eyes.

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, anticipation building within you as you waited for him to speak. "How you feel?" you prompted, unable to contain the hope in your voice.

Jake's lips curved into a tender smile, his eyes shining with sincerity. "Y/N, I've been wanting to tell you for so long, but I've been too afraid," he admitted, his voice filled with vulnerability. Before you could respond, he took a step closer, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek gently. "I want to be with you, Y/N," he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. "I want to make up for lost time and see where this goes."

Your heart fluttered at his words, and as you gazed into his eyes, you found yourself lost in the depths of his sincerity. His vulnerability touched you in a way you hadn't expected, and you felt a surge of affection for him that was impossible to ignore. But before you could respond, Jake took a deep breath, his gaze never leaving yours. "May I kiss you?" he asked, his voice soft but filled with determination.

Your breath caught in your throat at his question, surprised by his respect and thoughtfulness. You nodded eagerly, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Please, Jake," you replied with certainty, your voice barely above a whisper. "Of course."

As Jake's lips met yours, a surge of warmth flooded through your entire body. It was as if every nerve in you ignited with a newfound energy, responding to the tender, loving touch of his kiss. Your senses were overwhelmed by the sensation of his lips against yours, soft and yielding yet filled with an undeniable passion. Time seemed to stand still as you lost yourself in the sweetness of his embrace. His lips moved against yours with a gentle rhythm, each kiss sending sparks of electricity coursing through your veins. It was one of those kisses filled with longing and desire, a silent confession of the feelings that had been building between you for so long.

Your knees threatened to buckle beneath you as the intensity of the moment washed over you, but Jake's strong arms wrapped around you, holding you close and steady. His touch was both comforting and electrifying, grounding you in the present moment even as you felt yourself swept away by the sheer emotion of it all. His hands roamed over your back, pulling you closer to him as if he could never bear to let you go again. They were warm and reassuring, tracing the curves of your spine with a tenderness that left you breathless. For the first time in your life, you felt utterly and completely cherished, as if you were the most important person in the world to him. Because you were and he was determined to show you that.

As the kiss deepened, the world around you faded into nothingness, leaving only the two of you in your own private cocoon of love and desire. It was a moment you would treasure forever, a testament to the depth of the connection you shared with Jake.

When you finally pulled away, your lips still tingling from the sweetness of his, you found yourself lost in his eyes once again. As you gazed into Jake's, feeling the weight of his gaze and the depth of his love, a sense of peace washed over you. It was as if all the pieces of the puzzle had finally fallen into place, and you knew, deep in your heart, that this was where you were meant to be.

With a gentle smile, Jake pressed his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your skin as he whispered softly, "I am never letting you go again." His words filled you with a sense of warmth and belonging, reassuring you that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together. While you gazed into the depths of his soul, you knew that this was just the beginning of a new chapter in your story together.

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