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queen-of-deans-booty · 4 months

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I'll Always Choose You

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.8k

Warnings: car accident, injured!reader, bitchy girlfriend, angst, fluff at the end

Request by @jessicalynnann: I’m requesting another one lol. Can I get a request where the reader and Jensen are best friends and Jensen is falling in love with her but his gf is really rude to her and makes him choose. Well the reader hears and distances herself… well Jensen realizes it is too late and the best friend is the one that makes him happy but the reader gets into an bad accident. You decided the ending. Thanks.!!!

Summary: Jensen is back in town with his new girlfriend and is hosting a barbecue to get together with everyone and catch up. This is the first time you're meeting her, and she doesn't take you to as kindly as she leads everyone to believe she is.

Square Filled: in vino veritas (2021) for @spndeanbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

Jensen hasn’t even been back for more than a week and he’s already having a barbecue at his cabin in the mountains. He rents the place out every summer and invites everyone he knows to stay with him for the weekend. The place is big enough to house two dozen people and Jensen knows a lot of people. It’s been a few months since Jensen has been home since he’s traveling with his new girlfriend. You haven’t met her yet but you have talked to Jensen about her. He seems to be crazy about her so you’re not going to ruin what they have.

Yes, you have a crush on him. Yes, you love him. Yes, you’d do anything to make him happy. Yes, he is your best friend. No, you won’t do anything about it because he seems to be happy. What kind of friend would you be if you took that away from him?

Once you finish getting ready into a summer flowy dress, you grab the food you cooked and pile into your car. The cabin is located in the mountains up north so it takes you an hour to get there. There are already a bunch of people there but you don’t mind being later than everyone else. You pull into the driveway and see Jared’s car indicating that him and his wife are already here.

You let yourself into the house and enter the kitchen to place your food there when you see a young and beautiful woman. She must be Denise, Jensen’s girlfriend. You recognize her from the photos he’s sent you.

“Oh, hi. Denise?”

She looks you up and down as if she’s judging you.

“Yeah. You must be Y/N.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” you smile.

“You have such a cute dress on. Don’t let the drinks ruin it.”

It’s the way she says this that makes ou suspicious. She seems a bit passive-aggressive like she doesn't like you. Instead of giving you a chance, she’s already decided that she doesn’t like you. You’re not going to let her ruin your night because you came here for one thing and one thing only.

“I can handle myself. Where is Jensen?”

Speaking of, your best friend walks inside the kitchen using the back door with containers of food in his hands. He looks at you and a big smile breaks out on his face.

“Y/N! You came!” He sets down the food and scoops you into his arms. You don’t miss the way Denise is glaring at you two. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.”

“Baby, you promised you’d show me around,” Denise says and pulls her boyfriend away from you. “Remember? You said you’d do it when you got done outside.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” He turns to you. “I’ll be right back. Jared and Gen are outside.”

“Okay,” you nod.

Denise practically drags him away, leaving you all alone. You shake off this bad feeling you’re getting and join the others outside. Jared is talking to some guys off to the side while Gen is heping prep the table for the food. Joshua, Jensen’s brother, is using the grill to make his famous chicken on the other side of the backyard.

“Y/N!” Jared says a bit too loudly.

“Whoa, are you okay?” you chuckle and hug him.

“Yeah, I’m great.”

Jared has always been a light weight despite how tall he is. He definitely has the weight to keep the effects of alcohol away but he acts like he’s a hundred pounds when he drinks. It only takes a few drinks to really get him going.

“What number of drink is that?”

“Three?”

“You drink any more, you’ll bring out Doug. Do you really want to do that?”

“Probably not,” he chuckles.

You have fond memories of Jared’s alter ego coming out after he’s had too many to drink. The night usually ends in the cops being called but it’s memories you love to think about.

“So, I met Denise.”

Jared starts laughing at the tone of your voice.

“Yeah, everyone has that same reaction when they first meet her.”

“What is her problem?”

“I don’t know. She’s not the best person to be around but no one says anything because it seems like Jensen is happy. They’ve only been dating for a few months but they seem happy together.”

Jensen and Denise come back from the self-tour and you watch as she clings to his side even though he wants to go over to his friends and converse. He has a smile on his face that doesn’t quite reach his ears. He might be happy but it’s not true happiness.

“You don’t know him like I do.”

You leave Jared’s side to join Jensen’s. He has yet to tell you about his trip and now’s the perfect time to do that. It’s been so long since you’ve seen him, you just want to be around him. However, Denise sees you walking over to them and she tugs on Jensen’s arm to grab his attention. She leans in and whispers something in his ear that causes him to chuckle.

“Sure,” he nods.

They both walk off before you can get to them, and Denise looks back at you to gauge your reaction. You pretend like you weren't walking to them and veer to the right where Gen is. She says something to you but you’re not paying attention. You stare at the couple until they disappear around the corner of the house. Jensen didn’t even see you coming toward him.

You push down your feelings and enjoy the company of everyone else until dinner is served. Jensen took the seat next to you before Denise could pull him away so she is forced to take the other side of him. Everyone digs into the delicious food immediately and the conversation somehow gets on the topic of how stupid Jensen has been in his past.

“Once Jared told me I couldn't do it, I had to prove him wrong. I climbed up to the roof and got ready to jump into the pool.”

“I told him not to do it but he wouldn’t listen,” you chuckle.

“Yeah, so I got a running head start and jumped off into the pool. I made it in but it was shallower than I thought, and I broke my arm on the side of the pool.”

“You were a big cry baby,” you laugh and lean on his arm in laughter. “I held your hand the entire way to the hospital.”

“That you did,” he smiles down at you.

Denise’s jaw ticks in annoyance and jealously. She grabs her alcoholic drink and walks past you as if she is going to get a refil. However, she “trips” and she spills her entire drink all over your new dress. You gasp from how cold it is and stand up in shock.

“Oh, I am so sorry!” Denise apologizes.

“Shit, that’s cold!”

You look down at your dress to see the alcohol already staining your dress. You look at Denise and see the malicious intent in her eyes. She might be faking an apology but you know she couldn’t care less about this. She did this on purpose.

“Here, come with me. Let me clean this up before the stain sets.”

“Do you need me to come with you?” Jensen asks.

“No, I got this,” Denise chuckles.

She takes you into the cabin before you have achance to say anything. As soon as the door is closed, she becomes a whole other person. She drops the nice girl act and shows her true colors.

“I don’t know what your problem is, but stay away from my boyfriend.”

“My problem? What are you talking about?”

You grab some napkins to dab your dress without her help.

“You can play games all you want but he’s mine, and I’ll make your life miserable if you keep doing what you’re doing.”

“I don’t want him,” you lie.

“Please,” she scoffs and rolls her eyes, “I saw the way you were looking at him the entire night. Stay away from him or I’ll do more than pour alcohol down your dress.” She walks back to the door but pauses because she’s not done talking. “I am better than you in every way. You might be the best friend but I’m his girlfriend, and I always get what I want.” She gives you a sweet smile as if she didn’t just threaten you. “It’s nice to meet you though. Sorry about the dress.”

As soon as she leaves the kitchen, tears roll down your cheeks. You can’t go back out there looking like a mess so you dry your cheeks and your dress as much as possible before going back outside. Everyone is mostly done with dinner so they’re standing around instead of sitting. Jensen immediately walks over to you with a look of concern on his face.

“Hey, are you okay? I can pay for the dry cleaning.”

You look at Denise who is watching you with careful eyes. Jensen might genuinely be happy with her so you can’t take that away from him and tell him how rotten his girlfriend is. Plus, would he even believe you? Yes, you’re his best friend but would he believe you over his girlfriend?

“No, it’s okay. It was a misunderstanding,” you sigh.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

You excuse yourself and walk over to Jared who has been watching you three the entire night. He had two glasses of water at dinner so he’s sobered up some more. He sees the look of defeat on your face and nudges you arm.

“They won’t last.”

“What?”

“I don’t see them lasting another month.”

“Why would I care?”

“Come on,” Jared chuckles. “We all know you’re in love with him.”

“Shut your mouth, Jared,” you snap.

“What, am I wrong?”

You look at Jensen and Denise who are all over each other. She has her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands are low on her hips. You have to hold back your tears.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel. She clearly doesn’t want me around.”

“Give it time.”

Jensen and Denise walk into the cabin to do God only knows what, and you decide it’s best if you leave now. You don’t want to spend the night and have to hear them through the walls.

“As much fun as this whole thing has been, I should go now.”

You give Jared a side hug so you don’t get the alcohol on him.

“Good luck.”

You can’t leave this party without saying goodbye to Jensen. You’ll steal a couple of minutes and leave and that will be that. You don’t even have to give him a hug goodbye . You walk inside the house in search of your best friend. You walk past the kitchen into the living room where you overhear Denise and Jensen talking.

“What’s wrong? You were fine when we showed up.”

“I don’t like that you spend so much time with her. I’m your girlfriend who loves you.”

“She’s my best friend.” Great, they’re talking about you. How can you go in there now? It’ll only be awkward and you’ll give away that you’ve been listening. “We grew up together.”

“You’re with me now. Y/N needs to find someone she loves and leave us alone. I don’t want to be rude but it’s obvious she wants you.”

You can’t see Jensen’s face from where you’re at but you can only imagine what it looks like.

“You’re overreacting.”

“Do you have feelings for her? Is that why you’re being this way?”

You hold your breath and wait for his answer.

“Be this way? What are you talking about?”

“It’s me or her. Pick one. You can’t have both.”

You can’t bear the thought of hearing his answer because there is a chance that he might choose her. You quickly leave the room without hearing his answer and escape to your car. You shouldn’t have come. He has been with Denise for months across the world. He probably has a lot more fun with her than he does with you. He’s found someone to replace you with. You can’t fault him for choosing her. She can give him everything you can’t.

You peel out of the driveway and start the journey back home. Tears are flowing down your cheeks making it harder to see the road in front of you. It’s a particularly windy day so your car is slightly shaking; nothing you can’t control. It doesn’t help you’re driving in the mountains with no light except for that of your headlights. Through your tears, you don’t see the car on the other side of the roading coming straight at you.

You hit him going seventy miles an hour head on, and you’re thrown from the windshield and onto the groound. You left in such a hurry that you forgot to put your seatbelt on. The car you hit is a much bigger car than yours so it doesn’t have nearly as much damage as yours. The car slams on its break before slowly driving off, leaving you on the ground outside.

You gasp in pain and stare at the starry sky above you. Blood runs down your body and pools on the ground. You never took time to admire how pretty the night sky is. Your entire body is in pain but there is a certain peace that comes with being on the brink of death. You close your eyes to get some sleep when you hear someone calling your name off in the distance.

How much time has passed? It seems like minutes but could have been for much longer.

“Y/N!” Jensen gasps and slides on the ground when he gets to you. You open your eyes and see red and blue lights flashing off his face. “I’m right here. You’re going to be okay. Just hang on for me, okay? Please be okay.”

“Sir, you need to move.”

Jensen is pulled back so the paramedics can come in and do their job. You close your eyes because you’re so fucking tired. You feel yourself being lifted off the ground and onto something softer than the ground. You’re wheeled on a gurney into the ambulance with Jensen following closely behind.

“Sir, only family are allowed inside.”

“I’m her husband,” Jensen shouts and pushes past the paramedics.

They allow him to sit inside and be with you until they get to the hospital. Jensen grabs your bloody hand just as you roll your head to the side. You barely squeeze his hand to let him knwo you’re with him and not going toward the light no matter how tempting it might be.

“I’m right here, sweetheart. I’m holding your hand.”

The next time you open your eyes, you’re confronted with blinding white lights. Is this what Heaven is like? Did you die? You blink a few times to correct your vision and see you’re not in Heaven but a hospital room. You groan softly and look to your right where Jensen is. He is holding your hand with his head lowered like he’s praying. When he hears your painful groan, his head snaps up.

“Sweetheart. Hey, I’m right here.”

“Jensen?” you croak.

“Do you need some water?” You nod and he grabs a small cup of water. He helps you drink before setting the cup down. “How are you feeling?”

“What happened?”

“You collided with another car. The bastard left instead of staying but cops found him near where the cabin is. There’s only one road going in and out of town so it wasn’t hard to spot the truck with bumper damage. Your car is totaled though.”

Oh, yeah. The reason why you didn't see the other car is because you had tears flowing out of your eyes the entire time. Why were you crying? Right. Jensen was going to choose Denise over you. You take your hand away from his when you remember this and shift further from him.

“Where is Denise?”

“Gone.” Your eyes snap to his. “I broke up with her.”

“What? Why?”

“She made me choose. Anyone who makes me choose isn’t good enough to be with me.”

“What did she make you choose?” you ask even though you know the answer.

“It was either you or her, and you should know by now I will always choose you.”

“You shouldn’t have had to do that.”

“I’m glad she did.” He grabs your good hand and kisses the back of it. “I was blind to who was by my side my entire life.”

You smile and run your thumb on the back of his hand.

“What does this mean?”

“First, you get better. Then, I’m going to show you just how much I love you.”

“Deal,” you smile shyly.

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

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pinkiebieberpie · 1 year

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DATING DEAN WINCHESTER:

- he may not seem like it, but he is the biggest fan of cuddling,

- dean loves doing research with you, mostly because it always comes with lots of kisses,

- he is always touching you, he adores little, gentle and innocent touches,

- he also loves playing with your hair,

- and let's be honest he loves when you are playing with his hair; his head on your lap, just relaxing and you touching his hair, that's heaven for him,

- long car rides in the middle of the night!! talking about anything and everything, eating burgers at midnight, enjoying your time together,

- also making out in the impala ALL THE TIME; you sitting on top of dean, his hands on your ass, and of course it can get steamy,

- he loves cooking with you, when you two are alone in the bunker you always do that with a music, so you can sing and dance in the kitchen,

- dean is melting when you are on top of him during sex, he's a sub, but that doesn't mean he can't be more dominant,

- he just needs to be close to you, touching your hands, putting them above your head when he is the one making you feel good,

- this man loves taking photos of you: when you are doing chores around the bunker, when you are doing research, when you are reading, sleeping, when you are doing anything really,

- he also has a polaroid of you in his wallet,

- taking photos with you naked in bed after sex? yes.

- i was talking about cooking, but can you imagine baking with him?? "babe, can we make a pie?", "dean, again??", "i love pies and i love baking with you 😇😇" he's just a big, adorable baby sometimes,

- dean is an overprotective boyfriend even though you can take care of yourself,

- you are the one always winning rock-paper-scissors with him,

- he loves when you are wearing his clothes, especially when you are sleeping in his shirts,

- lazy mornings with him = breakfast in bed and big cups of coffee;

supernatural masterlist ++ tagging my sun @fleurfairie ☀️

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castiwls · 12 days

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tolerate it - d.w

Paring; dean x reader

Prompt; 'I wait by the door like I'm just a kid'

Requested; @simonsbluee

Notes;this is my all time fav cry song. i actually wrote an anakin version as well lmao I'll post that in a min :) requests are open!

Masterlist | Taylor Swift masterlist

You stared blankly at the wall in front of you. “Sweetheart. Come on, talk to me.” Dean took a seat beside you, turning his body to face you. “This is the third time in two weeks.” You kept your gaze on the wall as you spoke.

“It’s only a few days.” He placed his hand over yours, leaning in slightly. You quickly pulled your hand back, a sharp breath leaving your lips. “It’s always only a few days.” You hissed standing from the bed. “A few days then becomes a week because oh look Sam found another case.” You leaned back on the dresser, finally facing him.

“And I just get left behind, sitting here waiting on you both like some…some child!” Dean stared at you his face passive. “What do you expect me to do? Bring you with” His gaze hardened slightly as he spoke. “You don’t have any sort of training, i’d only be putting you and us in danger!” Dean stood coming to stand before you.

“I’m trying to keep you safe.”

“Keeping me trapped is your way of keeping me safe?” You shook your head. “Just go.” Dean reached out wrapping a hand around your wrist. “Don’t be like this.” He tilted his head, a small frown playing at his lips. “Like what”

“Difficult. Don’t be difficult” He snapped. You froze at his words, your blood running cold. Your head turned to face him, and a look of betrayal crossed your features for a moment before you calmed your expression. Difficult. He’d called you difficult all because you’d complained about being left.

Most of the time you felt second best. Second best to all the creatures out there that he seemed so determined to kill. You knew it was a difficult job but you’d never expected it to come first.

You could count on one hand the number of times this month alone Dean had been home for more than one day consistently. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d even been on a date with him.

“Just go.” You pulled your hand from his grip, your voice thick as you pushed back tears. You quickly left the room taking a breath to compose yourself. “We need to talk about this.” Dean’s voice followed you down the hall. He let out a huff watching as you took a seat at the map table. You grabbed a book before opening it.

You’d done this a hundred times. Dean and you would fight, you’d complain about being stuck here and then he’d promise, ‘next time sweetheart’. And then he’d go off for days with little to no contact before he’d come back mostly beaten and bruised.

You could feel him watching you as you swallowed trying to hold back your tears. Did he truly think you were that helpless, that you would be that much of a risk to even take on a hunt.

Dean quietly moved behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders. Your breath hitched slightly as you felt his breath hit your ear. “I’ll make it up to you, i promise.” He pressed a kiss to the side of your head.

You felt his weight leave your shoulders as he straightened up. The sound of his footsteps echoed as he left the room.

A shaky breath left your lips as you felt your composure break. Pressing a hand to your mouth you placed the book down finally allowing the tears to follow.

After a moment you managed to calm yourself. You glanced back down the hallway, the bunker suddenly seeming larger now that you were alone.

“You always say that.”

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wildwestdean · 2 months

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sweet and sour

summary: when you get back home after drinking a little too much, a sweeter side of ben slips out to take care of you. though you quickly learn that with him, you can't have any sweet without a little sour

pairing: soldier boy x female reader

word count: 3.2k+

warnings: some (mainly) ooc ben, swearing, depictions of alcohol consumption, drunk reader, angst, mentions of drug use, allusions to past sexual behaviours, fluff, hurt/comfort, nicknames/pet names

a/n: okay so i haven't actually made it to soldier boy's appearance in the boys yet, but i had a burning desire to write for him anyway. so yeah just don't judge pls lol

“What the fuck are you doing?” boomed a voice from behind you.

You jumped slightly at the sudden noise, but turned with a grin upon recognizing whose voice it was.

“Ben!” you giggled, meeting his confused gaze with bright eyes as you slightly swayed on your feet. “What’re you doing?”

He raised an eyebrow at you, trying to fight off the smirk forming on his lips as he ignored your question. “Looks like you had a good time out, huh, sweetheart?”

You couldn’t help the heat that rose to your cheeks at the term of endearment, or the string of giggles that left your lips. It wasn’t anything you weren’t used to, but it never failed to make you giddy - especially now. “I did!” you announced, before a frown suddenly took over your face as you remembered why you were in the kitchen “But now I want another drink, and I can’t find anythin’.”

Ben just stared at you for a moment, taking in your rosey cheeks and glossy eyes; but most importantly, the frown that currently adorned your adorable face. He would never admit it, not even to himself, but he suddenly wanted nothing more than for that frown to disappear.

“Alright,” he sighed, heading over to you. “What do you want?”

You watched as he approached, taking in his more casual appearance of a t-shirt and sweats - and, you noticed with a shy grin, a pair of old man slippers. He came to a stop just before you, and you paused as you stared up at his stoic face while he towered over you. You didn’t even hear his question, too distracted by his overwhelming everything to even realize he asked something.

He softly called your name to rouse you from your stupor, repeating it a little more gruffly when it didn’t work the first time. “What?” you asked, blinking up at his annoyed yet smirking face.

“I asked you what you wanted,” he murmured.

“Oh,” you said, your face scrunching together as you thought about it for a few moments. “I dunno,” you determined with a shrug.

“And you expect me to find something for you?” he asked curtly, his brows rising in disbelief.

Your brow unfurrowed as you grinned up at him. “Yes, please!” you declared eagerly, oblivious to the fact that he did not want to cater to you.

He clenched his jaw, extremely irritated with his urge to smile at the sight of your cheesy grin. “Fucking-” he started, before he cut himself off with a long sigh, rolling his eyes. “Alright, fine. Just go sit down or something.”

“Why?” you asked sadly, the frown taking over your face again.

“Why?” he echoed incredulously. “When I came in, you were trying to find a drink while just staring at the fucking glassware for over a minute. That’s why.”

“Were you watchin’ me?” you asked smugly, smirking up at him. “Besides, that doesn’t mean I can’t help find a drink!” you argued, completely missing his point.

His blank expression faltered for a second, a flash of colour fleeting across his face so quick it may as well have never been there. Then he simply barked a laugh, which only deepened your frown. “I bet you wish I was, huh? And you know, that's actually exactly what it means, dollface,” he chuckled darkly, tracing his knuckles along your cheek before suddenly grabbing you by the waist and hoisting you up onto the counter. “So sit this one out,” he said, ignoring your shriek of shock and protest.

“Fine,” you grumbled, completely bewildered by the ease in which he manoeuvred you; as if it cost him zero effort. Which, of course, you knew to be true.

“Good,” he said, smiling in satisfaction before ghosting a kiss against your forehead. “Now don’t fuckin’ fall off,” he warned as he walked over to the coffee machine.

You watched him in confusion, your swirling brain trying to figure out why he was suddenly so much more affectionate with you. You were used to him teasing you, or returning your flirtations and banter, though this felt like more than that. Maybe he was just being extra nice since you were drunk. Or maybe you only thought he was being extra nice because, well, you were drunk.

“Okay, knock it off,” he demanded, glancing over at you. “Why are you so frowny? I thought you liked your stupid girls’ night thing,” he added, leaning against the island with his arms crossed.

“I do like my girls' nights! And I’m not frowny” you grumbled, almost offended he would suggest otherwise.

“No?” he challenged, arching a brow as he took a few steps towards you. “‘Cause last I checked, this wasn’t your pretty smile,” he teased, tracing a thumb against your persistently downturned lips. Your smile naturally grew at that, and he beamed in response. “There’s my girl.”

Your eyes widened at his words, and your reaction must have made Ben realize what he was doing. With slightly widened eyes of his own, he dropped his hand from your face as if burned and turned away from you once more, busying himself with making your coffee - exactly the way you liked it.

You watched in silence, your feet softly swaying against the lower cabinets as your mind drifted in and out. “You don’t have any company tonight?” you found yourself asking suddenly.

“Think I’d be in here doing this if I had fucking company?” he asked hotly. “And I’m pretty sure you know when the last time I had company was,” he added bitterly.

Through all the months of you living with Ben, you had noticed when his parade of bed warmers had started to dwindle down; and you had definitely noticed when it stopped altogether. Part of you likes to wish you had something to do with it, while the other part knew that was insane.

“Okay, grouchy,” you scolded with a chuckle. “Don’t act like it’s my fault.”

“When the fuck did I act like it was your fault?” he snapped, growing exasperated.

“Are you almost done?” you asked brazenly, ignoring his question. “I’m thirsty.”

“Coming right up, princess,” he sneered.

You knew it was meant in a derogatory way based on his tone, yet you couldn’t help the warm tingle that spread through you anyway.

“Here,” he grunted after a few minutes, nearly shoving the mug at you. He raised his eyebrows impatiently when all you did was stare down at it. “I better not have made this for nothing,” he warned.

You gingerly took it from his hands, staring at it as if it was a foreign object; because, with a fluttering heart, you realized that he gave you your favourite mug - though you knew it was probably just a coincidence.

“Thank you,” you said quietly, grinning softly at him before taking a sip.

“Whatever,” he mumbled, rolling his eyes as he hastily turned his back on you once more.

“You seem extra grumpy tonight,” you pointed out, watching him intently as you happily sipped away.

“Who fucking cares?” he grumbled, keeping his attention off you as he made himself a drink - a strong one. He had a sinking feeling that if he looked at you he’d feel all warm inside again, and he refused to let that happen. “Besides. Maybe me being extra grumpy has to do with the drunk girl currently sitting on my counter.”

“Oh,” you said meekly. “I’m bothering you?”

“You always fucking bother me,” he mumbled, slamming the bottle down.

“I don’t mean to,” you assured quietly, your vision growing blurry with unshed tears. “I thought we’ve been getting along,” you added sadly.

“Me putting up with you isn’t us getting along, dollface,” he sneered.

You inhaled sharply at his declaration, your tears finally breaking loose and running down your face. “I can just leave you alone, then,” you offered, your voice a mere whisper.

Ben made the mistake of glancing over at you, and the pang of guilt he felt inside his chest really pissed him off. He begrudgingly made his way over to you, standing between your swaying legs as he tried to meet your gaze - but you refused to acknowledge his presence.

“Look at me,” he ordered, placing a hand on your chin to force your gaze on him.

“No,” you said, closing your eyes.

He let out an honest chuckle at your stubbornness, and if you had been able to see him, you would’ve noticed his eyes sparkle with affection. “Look at me,” he said again, much softer this time as his thumbs wiped away your tears.

You let out a resigned breath, slowly looking up at him.

“There she is,” he cooed, a small smile growing on his face. “Hey, darlin’.”

“Hi,” you replied solemnly, your face scrunching ever so slightly in confusion over the interaction.

He didn’t speak for a while. Instead he just stood there, staring at you with your face in his hands as he tried to figure out what the hell to say next.

“Look, just- stop crying, alright?” he said awkwardly, almost nervously.

“Is that your idea of being comforting?” you asked dejectedly, almost laughing in disbelief.

His grip on your cheeks tightened ever so slightly for a fraction of a second, before loosening again. “You and I both know that offering comfort isn’t my thing.”

“You could at least try,” you muttered snidely. “I’m tired of being the only one of us who tries.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” he snapped, letting you go and taking a step back in order to glare at you.

You scoffed, frustratingly swiping away angry tears that began to stream down your face. “It doesn’t matter.”

A heavy silence blanketed the two of you, and you picked up your mug to idly sip at it once more as he stared you down. He suddenly let out a frustrated huff, swearing and muttering under his breath as he turned away from you and grabbed his glass. With disbelieving eyes, you watched as he left the kitchen without a second glance. You weren’t a stranger to arguments with Ben, but this time, it felt different.

You stayed where you were perched, silently finishing your coffee and trying to make sense of everything that happened. You worked yourself back up into another frenzy as you thought everything over, and by the time your mug was empty you slammed it onto the counter with so much force you were surprised it didn’t break. Hopping off the counter, you began to stumble your way to your bedroom while angrily grumbling to yourself. A new inferno was set alight within you when along the way you came across Ben, nonchalantly lounging in the den as if nothing ever even happened.

“How many fucking times do I have to tell you not to do that inside?” you snapped, watching in growing contemptment as he merely glanced in your direction before turning his attention elsewhere, smoke billowing over his face.

“Tell you what, princess,” he muttered, taking another long drag from the joint he held. “I’ll stop smokin’ inside, as soon as you start payin’ for this fucking place.”

Without so much as giving it a second thought, you marched over to him and ripped the joint from his hands. He raised an eyebrow as he watched you with curiosity, a smirk already forming on his lips.

“I said,” you seethed, grabbing the ashtray from the side table as you stared him down. “Stop.”

He stayed silent, watching as you crushed the joint in the tray before tossing it back on the table with a clang. The corners of his mouth twitched as he fought back an amused grin before he steeled himself.

“I’ll go ahead and give you ten seconds to leave,” he announced calmly, though you knew him well enough by now to notice the hint of warning in his tone.

“Or what?” you challenged, stubbornly crossing your arms.

Normally, you knew when to stop trying to push his buttons, but you had just enough alcohol still coursing through you to keep on going this time.

He leaned forward, his presence completely imposing despite the fact he was sitting and you were standing over him. “Do you really want to find out?”

You shifted nervously as you took in his expression, and you knew he was both pissed off and annoyed; then again, it was rare that he wasn’t.

“Whatever,” you finally muttered, turning away to leave.

It wasn’t due to you being afraid of him - yes, he was intimidating as all hell, but he had never once actually physically hurt you. Despite the many times the urge struck him, and no matter how much he despised it, he quickly learned that you’re the one person he could never lay a harmful hand on. No, you simply left because you were growing exhausted over this whole night, and you just wanted some peace and quiet.

“Thought so,” he grumbled behind your back, snickering as you momentarily stopped in your tracks.

“Oh, just go to hell, Benjamin!” you exclaimed, whipping the closest thing you could grab towards his head.

He caught it easily, laughing heartily when he realized what it was. “Thanks, doll. This is just what I needed,” he teased with a grin, rattling the pill bottle as he held it in the air for you to see. “It’s the only way I can fuckin’ put up with you.”

You stared at him carefully, and you could tell just by the look in his eyes that he only said it to get another rise out of you, but you couldn’t help the way your bottom lip trembled as you fought back more tears.

His face instantly fell as he noticed your reaction, and while it was his intention, he instantly regretted it. With a heavy sigh, he tossed the bottle aside and stood up.

“What are you-” you began to ask as he made his way over to you, but he cut you off.

“Just shut up for once,” he muttered, a trace of a lighthearted chuckle in his voice as he shook his head.

You opened your mouth to fire off more insults when he shocked all the words out of your vocabulary by wrapping his arms around you. He rested his chin on the top of your head, and even though you felt insurmountable anger towards him, you quickly found yourself melting into his touch, your arms tightening around his torso. A few moments passed by before he let out a small sigh, his fingers tracing a feather-light pattern along your back; a gentleness neither of you knew he was even capable of.

“Look, I-... I didn’t… mean it,” he finally said. His tone was tight and awkward, and you knew it was a near impossible thing for him to actually admit. Honestly, hearing those words from him was nothing short of a miracle.

“Thank you,” you said quietly, knowing this was the closest you would ever get to an apology from him.

“How about we get you to bed, huh?” he asked lightly, trying to diffuse the situation.

“Yeah,” you said, pulling away from him. “I’ll get out of your hair.”

You quickly left before he could respond, making it to your bedroom and locking yourself away in the bathroom to get ready. You took your time, carefully scrubbing away all the traces of the club, and the rest of the night, that you could before slipping into your night clothes.

The first thing your bleary eyes noticed when you reentered your bedroom was Ben, paused in the middle of your room with a glass of water in his hand.

“What are you doing?” you asked curiously, rubbing at your tired eyes.

He let out a heavy exhale, looking at you with an expression you’ve never seen on him before. “Was just… bringing this to leave for you."

“Thanks,” you replied awkwardly, meeting him halfway to take the glass from him.

He stared at you for a moment, watching as you made your way to the bed and under the covers. He wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure what.

“I’ve been trying, you know,” he suddenly grumbled, unable to take the tense silence any longer.

“What?” you wondered aloud, glancing over at him.

His face was scrunched in concentration as he stared at something straight ahead, unable to bring himself to meet your gaze. “With you. To be… I don’t know… better.”

His words took you by surprise, and you felt a little guilty for making him think you never noticed. “I know that,” you admitted softly.

“I don’t think you do,” he quipped, his voice more aggressive than he meant it to be. “You bother me all the fucking time.”

“You know-” you began to argue, anger starting to simmer deep within your bones again.

“Stop,” he all but growled, holding up a hand. “Just fucking listen for once.”

You glowered at him, folding your arms as you sank further under the covers, as if seeking some kind of protection, while waiting for him to continue.

It took him a while to speak up again, and you almost thought he’d never continue, but he hesitantly explained himself. “You bother me… because you make me different.”

“What do you mean?” you asked tentatively.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, chuckling humourlessly. “I’m a dick. I don’t care that I’m a dick. But you- I’m around you, and I want to be less…” he trailed off with a sigh, unsure of how to go on.

“Less dickish?” you offered, fighting off a smile.

“Yeah,” he agreed, awkwardly clearing his throat. “Yeah, I guess so.”

You hummed thoughtfully, thinking over your response. “In case you haven’t noticed, you don’t exactly send me running for the hills, Ben.”

“I know that,” he said passively. “I just… I don’t know. Don’t think that I don’t try.”

He finally turned to look at you, and you could see the pleading in his eyes; the hurt. You sighed in defeat, sitting up and gesturing for him to take up the space beside you. He hesitated, raising a brow in contemplation before making his way over. You peeled back the covers for him, and he carefully slid in; cautious, as though he thought it was a trap.

Neither of you were sure what to do next, and after a few minutes of awkward silence, you laid down to settle in for some sleep. Ben followed suit, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you in close; you instinctively nestled against him, relishing in the warmth he provided.

“I hope you don’t think I’m drunk enough to forget that you were actually sweet tonight,” you said suddenly, your voice a playful whisper.

He let out a chuckle, his chest rumbling beneath your cheek and forcing a small giggle from you.

“Just don’t expect it all the time,” he declared, a playful undertone in his voice as well. “I’m mostly sour.”

Though despite his declaration, his grip tightened to pull you in a little closer.

“Well,” you said, closing your eyes and relaxing against him. “Sweet and sour does happen to be my favourite combination.”

“And thank Christ for that,” he muttered, more to himself than anything.

You smiled to yourself, hearing his words despite them sounding far away. You had a fleeting intent to respond, but your mind grew too heavy, and you quickly fell asleep to the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath your head - though, not before you felt him placing a lingering kiss to your hairline, paired with a murmured goodnight, sweetheart.

tagging: @roseblue373

#soldier boy x reader #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy fic #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy fluff #soldier boy angst #jensen ackles #jensen ackles soldier boy #the boys tv #the boys #the boys series #soldier boy the boys

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lokigonnakmsforbucky · 9 months

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Dean Winchester NSFW Alphabet

We made sammy one, we gotta make dean one! This was also requested by an anonymous user! Enjoy!

Rating: MINORS DNI!! 18++

Warnings: Its NSFW thats a warning enough;)

Like my spn posts? Ask to be on the tag list!

GIF NOT MINE

Check out my masterlist

A= Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Dean is definitely a cuddler, He is always holding you and making sure you are okay. You come first in his mind.

B= Body part (Their favorite body part on themselves and their partners.)

Dean's favorite part of his own body is his smile. He knows he could get what he wants in seconds with one flash of it. On his partner he loves their thighs and mostly when they are around his face ;)

C=Cum (What does he do with it. I AM disgusting)

Dean loves when he sees his cum all over you. Your face, your stomach, but he loves it when it drips out of you.

D=Dirty talk (How much do they dirty talk?)

This Man's mouth is DIRTY, he could get you on your knees in no time.

E=Experience (how experienced are they?)

Dean is definitely experienced to say the least, so rest assured he knows what he is doing.

F=Favorite position (goes without saying)

Cowgirl- Dean is a SUCKER for this position. He loves when you take him how you want him, plus a face full of tits? Yes please.

Doggystyle- Dean loves looking at you taking him, pounding into you to show you who you belong to.

G=Goofy (how goofy or how serious they are in the moment?)

Dean can be goofy or serious. Depending how you both feel or the heat of the moment.

I=Intimacy (How are things during the moment, romantic aspect.)

Deans eyes never leave your body, his hands are on you at every moment.

J=Jack off

Dean gets off at least 4 times a week, his sex drive is high and when he isn’t around you he has to release that frustration. Maybe even calling you for some sexy phone sex ;)

K=Kinks

Dean loves to be dominant with you, but what a lot of people don’t know is that he loves to be dominated by you. He loves when you take control over him and take what you need.

He also has a knife kink… he doesn’t get why he does but just the thought of having it out against your skin or his skin… he loves it.

L=Location (where you guys would do the deed)

Dean would do it anywhere you would be game to do it at, but his favorite is in Baby the sweet 67’ Impala…. Mostly when you give him road head.

M=Motivation (what turns him on, or gets them going)

Dean loves seeing you in his flannels… plus eating pie, having whip cream all over your face? He is ready to pounce.

N=No (Something they wouldn’t do, or turns them off.)

ANYTHING that hurts your or puts you in harms way. You are his world, he won’t let that get hurt.

O=Oral (do they like giving, receiving, both?)

Dean LOVES giving you head, eating you out like a cherry pie. Your his fav flavor though.

Dean loves when you give him head, it relaxes him instantly.

P=Pace (Are they slow? Fast? Rough?)

Depends on Deans mood, he loves taking you rough and fast. But he loves being nice and slow.

Q=Quickie (Their opinion on it, how often would they have one)

Dean is always up for quickies, anytime you both need one he is up and ready.

R=Risk (Are they risky)

In deans line of work, risk is dangerous. But if your down…so is he.

S=Stamina (how long can you last? How many rounds?)

Sessions with a Dean are long, hot, and heavy. You can take 3 rounds but Dean… he can make you do as many rounds he wants.

T=Toys (Do you guys own toys? Do they use them?)

You guys explore with vibrators and sometimes restraints.

U=Unfair (How likely would they tease?)

You would be the one that would be a tease, Dean would definitely have his way with you later ;)

V=Volume (How loud are they)

Dean breathes heavy, low growls and grunts

X=X-ray (what’s going own down there)

Dean is beyond average…he is definitely bigger than most guys.

Y=Yearning (How high is their sex drive)

Deans sex drive is VERY high, you can’t deny that.

Z=ZZZ (how fast he would fall asleep)

Dean would wait till you were taking care of and asleep before even getting comfortable. You come first.

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imyourbratzdoll · 9 months

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𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒊𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒅

🍓the strawberry shack masterlist🍓

summary - jake finally got time off work, and desperately needing some release, he decides to test out the strawberry shack.

warning - smut, gloryhole, swearing, slightly sub jake, creampie

18+ only please, the gif and headers I use aren't mine.

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

Jake headed inside The Strawberry Shack, feeling slightly nervous and giddy. He desperately needed a release, and he hadn’t even been able to touch himself because of how complicated, tiring and busy the mission had been. He had heard many good things about this place, knowing the women were well looked after and treated right. Jake decided to give it a go, dressing in comfortable pants and a band t-shirt, his hair spiked and glasses perched on his nose.

He walks toward the woman at the counter, giving her a small smile. “Hi, I uh…” Jake turns pink, clearing his throat, not exactly knowing what he wants. The woman before him smiles, telling him where to go and how much. Jake hands the money over. “Thank you!” He blushes as he walks past her, heading down the hall and into the room. He chokes on his saliva, staring wide-eyed at the many holes and women. He didn’t know where to go or who to go to.

Jake looked around until he settled on you, noticing how his cock twitched as his gaze landed on your plump arse. You looked like a peach, a delicious juicy peach from where he was standing. Jake begins to head in your direction, practically drooling and nearly tripping as Jake continues to stare, not taking his eyes off you. He whispers gently before touching you, not wanting to startle you. “Hey, peach. I uh, this is my first time at one of these places, and I want to make sure it’s okay to touch you…” He pouts down at you, unable to stop his cock from twitching.

You giggle, feeling your heart warm as he asks. You wiggle your arse, pushing it back against his clothed cock. “Yeah, sugar. You can touch. I’m all yours for however long you need me.” You release a breath as he skims your plump cheeks with his hands before moving them to the front of his pants, unzipping them and pulling out his hardened cock. Jake’s hand moves up and down as he strokes himself, swiping his tip against your soft folds. “You’re doing so good for your first time… Such a big boy.”

Jake whimpers, feeling his eyes slip closed as he places his swollen tip against your entrance and pushes in, grunting at how tight you feel around him. “J–Jesus… You’re so tight.” He groans, thrusting his hips and gripping yours. He’s never felt someone so tight and warm before. It was like Jake had entered heaven. He couldn’t stop the moment he slid into you, slamming his cock harder and faster into your soft cunt. “I–I can’t stop… It feels too good!” He cries out, one hand moving from your hip and slamming against the wall. Jake can feel your walls pulsating around him, making his eyes roll to the back of his head.

Your hands curl into the pillow beneath you, burying your face into the softness as Jake slams harder into you. You couldn’t believe you had been getting every man who knew how to bring pleasure. Your cunt throbbed at the thought, causing Jake behind you to whimper and fuck deeper into you. His mushroom tip slams into your sweet spot, causing your toes to curl and your eyes to roll to the back of your head. “O–oh, feels amazing…” You manage to moan out, feeling your end near as he continues to thrust into your g-spot.

Jake feels the sweat building and his balls tightening, but he doesn’t want to cum until you do. He holds back, gritting his teeth and moving his hand underneath you, locating your swollen clit and rolling it between his fingers. “Mmm…” He groans as your walls flutter around him, sagging into the bed as your juices flow out of you and all over Jake and the floor. He begins to thrust harder, shuddering when his orgasm hits and his balls empty, burying his cock deep into you and filling you with his cum.

You sigh dreamily, eyes fluttering as he pulls out of you and groans. Jake’s eyes lock onto your cum-filled cunt, watching it leak out, dripping down your legs and onto the ground. He gently tucks his softened cock back into his pants while he catches his breath and cools down his heated cheeks. “T–thank you…” Jake shyly replies, still not as confident. “You felt… Fantastic.” He blushes again before slowly walking off with a soft goodbye and a promise to return.

You lie there, wondering what man you will get next.

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

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embrosegraves · 3 months

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𝔻𝕠𝕟'𝕥 ℍ𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕄𝕖

(request) Fernando Alonso x Reader Enemies to lovers, forced proximity. “He loves you, y’know? He’s just afraid of admitting it."

Warnings: heavy use of explicit language.

1.9k words

For as long as you could remember, Fernando Alonso has hated you. If you had to be in a room with him, he was as far away as he could get. Oftentimes you would try and talk with him, try to understand why he didn’t like you, only for him to ignore whatever it was you were saying.

Eventually you gave up. Why should you put in all this effort just to be pushed aside and ignored? If he thought he was good at being an asshole, you were going to be better. If he thought he was bad, you were going to be worse. There was a lot of tension between the two of you. Everybody could see it. Nobody wanted to talk about it around you, or even bring it up to you. Nobody except a good friend of yours, Jensen Button. Who just so happened to also be Fernando’s teammate.

“Okay, I literally can’t keep up with this anymore.” He said to you. FP2 had finished a few hours ago and the interviews that occurred afterwards were full of snide comments and poorly veiled insults between you and Fernando. “What the fuck happened between the two of you?”

You scoffed, “When you figure it out let me know.”

Jensen looked at you in disbelief. “You mean you don’t even know?”

“Look, Jense. All I know is that he snubbed me whenever I tried to talk to him. He’s ignored me and made comments about me for my entire career in this goddamn sport. So if he wants to be a dickhead with the only female driver in however many fucking years, I’m gonna give as good as I’m getting.” You stormed off before he had a chance to reply.

Jensen stood there as he watched you get in your car and start driving, presumably to the hotel the drivers were put in. He had to get to the bottom of this. Turning on his heel, Jensen made his way back to the paddock in search of Fernando, who he knew would still be here.

When Jensen found him, Fernando was humming an old Spanish song while he folded the little laundry he had in his driver's room.

“Has your woman gone home?” Fernando asked, seeing Jensen standing there in his peripheral.

“Not my woman. She’s basically my sister.”

“But she has gone to the hotel, yes?”

“Why do you hate her?” Jensen ignored Fernando’s question in favour of asking the one thing he set out to find the answer for.

Fernando frowned and paused what he was doing. Setting down the clothes, but not turning around, he asked Jensen, “What makes you say I hate her?”

“Well, in her own words, you snubbed her everytime she went to speak with you. You’ve ignored her and made comments about her for, and I quote, ‘her entire career in this goddamn sport’.” Jensen walked further inside Fernando’s room, gently closing the door as he went.

“She has been doing the same to me, no?”

“Yeah well, she told me she was only giving as good as she was getting, so.” Jensen shrugged, “She seems pretty set in thinking you hate her. I’m only here to figure out what’s going on between you two.”

It was silent for a few minutes before Fernando spoke up.

“She intimidates me.”

Jensen wasn’t sure if he had heard his teammate correctly.

“I’m sorry? She intimidates you?”

Fernando had turned around to look at him now. “When I heard about a female racer that was bulldozing through the ranks, I started to follow her career. Every interview she gave, every race she drove, I kept track of it all. I was impressed.” He walked over and sat on the small couch. “The more I watched, the more I followed, the more enamoured I became with her. That’s what intimidated me.”

“So she’s not the one intimidating you. Your own feelings are.”

“Yes. I was scared. For so long I was comfortable with not having a partner, not having a family. I was scared to suddenly want these things with a person I have never met in my life.”

“So you thought the best way to deal with that was being a dickhead? That was smart.” It was Jensen’s turn to scoff now. “That has to be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”

“I know. I was afraid of what I would say if I spoke to her directly. So I stuck to what I know how to do, play up my media persona of being arrogant.”

“That’s not arrogance, Mate. That’s plain and simple stupidity.” Jensen let out an exhausted breath and opened the door. “I only hope that one day, you can somehow overcome that.”

While he walked away from Fernando, Jensen promised himself that one way or another, he would bring an end to the issue between you and his teammate.

His opportunity came the next day when he saw you walk into your driver’s room after qualifying. He knew that you would likely want to be by yourself, especially because you had only just managed to get into Q3, but he was damned if he didn’t use this opportunity.

As quickly as he could, he made his way over to Fernando’s driver’s room, grabbed his wrist and started dragging him through the paddock and towards you. Because you and Jensen were so close with each other, he knew that your door would be unlocked. So when he got there with Fernando, he quickly threw the door open, shoved Fernando inside and closed the door. Using his body as a barricade, he stopped Fernando’s attempts of getting out of the small room.

Until now, you had been too shocked to properly react to what was happening, but as soon as you registered that Fernando of all people was inside your driver’s room and that Jensen had been the one to put him there, you got angry.

“Jensen I know you’re outside the door, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” You yelled. Having never heard you genuinely angry before, Fernando had stopped his attempts of pushing the door open to get out. As much as he could, he quickly moved out of the way when you started to step over to pound on the door and continue yelling at your best friend.

“I’m not opening this door until you sort your shit out with each other!” Jensen yelled back.

“You’re a piece of shit Jensen! I swear to god if you don’t open this fucking door, I’m never fucking speaking to you again!”

“I think I’ll live!”

You yelled out in frustration and fury. Turning around, you saw Fernando looking at you in shock. “What!?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that angry.” His voice was a whisper. Almost as if he was scared of you.

“Well aren’t you lucky?” You were no longer yelling, but the anger was still evident in your words. “Listen, I could care less if you hate me, but could you at least explain that to Jensen so I can leave?” You punctuated your sentence with a solid kick to the door, where Jensen was still using his bodyweight to stop you from leaving.

“I don’t hate you.”

You laughed. Doubled over hands on your knees, you laughed as if he had said the funniest thing in the world. “That has to be the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever heard you say Alonso.”

It was Jensen’s voice beyond the door that made you sober up quickly. “He’s in love with you! He’s just too pussy to tell you!”

You practically gave yourself whiplash turning your head to look at Fernando’s face. “You what?”

“I-” Before Fernando could get a word in edgewise, you had turned back to the door, pounding your open hand on it.

“Jensen, this isn’t funny! You can’t do this to me, you can’t play me like this! Please just open the door!” The amount of emotion coursing through you made your voice crack as you pleaded to be let out.

“I promise you, Buggy, I’m not doing this to hurt you.”

“What do you mean?” Fernando had asked you.

“Years ago, before we were ever teammates and before she got to F1, Y/n told me that she was the most excited to meet you. She’s always admired you. She was gutted when you acted how you did the day you met. Ever since, she’s tried to understand what was wrong with her. Wouldn’t listen when I said it had nothing to do with her.” Jensen said loud enough for you both to hear him. “I have to do this, Buggy. I only ever want the best for you and if that means I have to make you confront this, then so be it.”

At this point Fernando had slowly made his way over to where you had practically run to. The look on your face broke his heart, so he slowly and clearly moved his arms to hold you close to him.

“Let go of me! Let me go! You- You hate me! You don’t like me, please just let go..” You had tried prying yourself out of his arms before deflating in defeat and crying.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I ever made you feel that way. Lo siento. Lo siento mucho.” He kept hugging you close, gently his hand over your head and shushing you like one would when calming a child.

Jensen’s heart broke as he heard you break down. He knew this needed to happen, but it still hurt to hear his best friend, his little sister, crying her heart out.

Fernando managed to gently guide you so that the two of you were sitting on the floor. He didn’t want to risk you falling because of being too overwhelmed. He started explaining to you how he had followed your career since you had been in Formula 3. He spoke about how he admired just how driven you were, which had earned a small, wet chuckle from you. Eventually, you had calmed down enough to stop crying, though neither you nor Fernando made an effort to move from the embrace.

After a few moments of silence, Fernando spoke. His voice whispered, “He’s right.”

“Who?” Your voice was still wrought with emotion.

“Jensen. He was right when he said I was too scared to tell you I love you.”

“But why?”

“Why was I scared?” he wiped a stray tear from your face, “There’s a lot of reasons I guess. I mean-”

You cut him off. “No, I mean why are you in love with me? You haven’t spoken to me directly ever since I got here, so why would you love me?”

Fernando gently squeezed you. “A lot of reasons. I guess the biggest one is that I saw how determined you were, fighting to be on the top step after every race. I saw how you never let anybody tell you how to act. You’ve always had a fire in you and that attracted me the most. El hecho de que seas tan hermosa también ayuda.” [The fact that you're so beautiful helps too.]

A small part of your brain clocked onto the fact that Fernando had no idea what languages you spoke. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course, Guapa.” [Pretty]

“Tomé clases de español de niña, hasta que tuve fluidez.” [I took Spanish classes as a kid, until I was fluent.]

Fernando placed a lingering kiss on your forehead, “Every word I said is the truth.”

“Thank you.”

Kinda struggled writing the "Enemies to Lovers" part of this but overall I think I did pretty good.

I hope you all enjoyed!

MUAHS <3

#formula 1 x you #f1 x reader #formula one #formula 1 #fernando alonso #fernando alonso x reader #fernando alonso x you #f1 angst #fa14 #Reader is besties with Jensen Button #anon request

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 5 months

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The Christmas Present

This fic will cover my Dates Keep Getting Interrupted square on my 2nd @jacklesversebingo card. ❤️

Summary: Y/N is beginning to wonder just where she fits into Jensen's life. Is she expendable?

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Pretty much all fluff. A wee tiny bit of smut. Just a wisp of oral (f receiving) and unprotected PinV sex. Nothing really explicit. Pretty much a smidge of angst and mostly fluff.

Pairings: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 2,599

A/N: Here is the next request for my second @jacklesversebingo card. This one came from a lovely anon who asked this:

hi! how about an angsty “dates keep getting interrupted” with jensen? something along the lines of him being busy and just simply being swamped with work but reader feels like jensen might not be in love with them anymore.

I basically took that first idea in your request and ran with it sweetie! Hope you enjoy this one. It ran a bit fluffy, but I hope you like it.

The beautiful dividers used here are from @talesmaniac89

Y/N inhaled deeply as she pulled the freshly made pumpkin pie out of the oven. She looked at it with pride; she’d made it from scratch because she knew it was Jensen’s favorite this time of year.

And he was finally coming home.

For the last month and a half he’d been working all the way across the country and in all that time, they’d been relegated to nothing but video calls and texting. When he took the job the week before Thanksgiving she’d been disappointed they wouldn’t get to spend the holiday together. But as Jensen had assured her, it was only a month of shooting, and he was only one, six hour flight away; they’d visit lots and he’d be home a good week or more before Christmas.

But the shoot had dragged on and on with an inexperienced director and a picky and demanding producer. Everything was so disorganized that Jensen had made it home only one time in those six weeks, and he’d been swamped with press the entire time, as well as trying to fit in meetings with his manager, agent, and another producer considering him for a different project. It meant that in his one day at home Y/N had him to herself for barely more than an hour, during which, he'd been completely, understandably, exhausted.

Four other trips home had been planned, complete with date nights Y/N put together that would allow them to go out together, but also stay in together a lot too. But all four times those trips and those dates had been canceled. Even a desperately planned skype dinner date had only lasted a half hour before one of the PAs came banging on Jensen's trailer to drag him away to help with some unforeseen dilemma on set.

Y/N was sick with missing him. She knew he missed her too, but lately she’d been wondering...just how much?

How hard was he really trying to get home? How important was she to him? Was she just a girlfriend he was saddled with, someone he was obligated to try and get home to see? Was she just a scheduling conflict - one of the smaller ones, easily brushed aside for something more important?

After their last canceled date, she'd even asked herself the question that terrified her...was he losing interest? After a year and three months of dating...was she still loving him while he had one foot out the door?

Her mind shied away from answering those questions. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answers.

But two days ago he’d called her up to say he was finally going to be wrapped the following day, and he’d be home early Christmas morning. She’d seen his plane ticket and everything; it was going to be the best Christmas present she could get.

So she’d made his favorite pie in celebration.

As she set the pie on the rack to cool, she heard a notification bing, telling her she had a video call from Jensen. She felt knots form in her stomach, but decided he was probably just calling to say he was getting on the plane in a few hours.

He’d just text you for that, she thought, but she brushed the thought aside.

She sat down at her kitchen table, and clicked her mouse to answer, smiling as Jensen’s face appeared on her laptop screen.

“Hey.” She said, overly cheerful.

“Hey.” He said back, and she could hear the waver in his voice, but she ignored that too.

“How are you?” She asked.

His jaw clenched and she felt her stomach plummet further.

“I’m…not good…I…” His green eyes looked at her through the screen, regret etched deep into his verdant irises. “I’m so sorry, baby - “ he began, but Y/N cut him off with a cry of disappointment.

“No! No!” She denied loudly. “What the hell? You said you’re wrapped, you said -”

“I know, I know. But they’ve decided they need a shit ton of reshoots, there’s a bunch of stuff they said they didn’t like, and…” He trailed off. “I’m so sorry.”

Y/N turned her face away from the camera as she nodded in heartbroken acceptance, trying to hide her eyes swimming in tears. “But…” she cleared her throat. “This is like the fifth time you’ve had to cancel, can’t they understand that? I mean, it’s Christmas. Why the hell do they need you to work on Christmas?” Her voice rose at the end, anger seeping through to fill in her cracked heart.

“I don’t know.” Jensen said with a shrug, and the gesture made her anger take a swift turn towards him. “It’s Hollywood, they don’t always give a shit about things like national holidays.”

“Well, they should!” She shouted. “I mean, what the hell? Do they think they own you? Why don’t you just tell them to fuck off?”

“Y/N -”

“Seriously, that’s basically what you’ve been telling me to do for the past six weeks, but you can't even tell them once?”

The muscle ticked in Jensen’s jaw again. “Y/N, I’ve spent the last day and a half doing nothing but trying to get them to listen to me, to agree to let me go for a day or two and then come back, but -”

“Wait!” Y/N cut him off. “You’ve known about this for a day and a half and you’re only telling me now?” Her voice was incensed and furious.

Jensen threw up his hands. “I was hoping I could get out of it, Y/N! I was…look, I’m sorry." His anger was obvious but she couldn't tell if it was directed at her or not. "Don’t you think I’m disappointed too?”

“Are you?” Y/N asked before she could stop herself.

Jensen’s face grew suddenly calm. “What does that mean?” He asked.

Y/N shook her head. “Nothing. It just means that it’s been six weeks, and so many canceled dates and plans, I mean…”

“Five weeks.” Jensen interjected as she paused for a breath.

Y/N scowled at him. “What?”

“It’s only been five weeks.”

Y/N clenched her teeth. “Oh well, excuse me! Then, I guess - who cares?"

Jensen was shaking his head. “No, look I just meant to say that I’m well aware of how long it’s been since I’ve gotten to see you, but…” He looked slightly defeated. “I don’t…I mean, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

Y/N’s heart sank. She smiled sadly and nodded at him. “Yeah, well, you should know. That’s uh…” She sniffed and wiped her fingers across her cheeks. “That’s sort of the problem.”

Jensen opened his mouth to say something, but when he hesitated, Y/N just gave him another broken smile.

“Merry Christmas.” She said softly before clicking off the call.

***

Y/N sat slumped on her couch with a half eaten pumpkin pie discarded on her coffee table. On the TV, Ebeneezer Scrooge was calling out Merry Christmas to everyone in the street below him, having realized the true meaning and value of Christmas. Y/N’s face was nothing but frowning lips and a scowl as she shut off her TV.

“Bah, humbug.” She countered quietly.

Her heart was actually hurting; a physical ache had taken up residence in her chest and she rubbed her palm over it trying to ease the sting.

All she could see was Jensen’s face as she'd ended the call. And whenever she saw his face the fear started that it was going to be the last time she saw it - at least the last time off the silver screen.

She’d picked up the phone a dozen times to call him, but she never managed to hit “call” before tossing her phone down and crying some more. Now it was almost one in the morning and she picked it up again. This time she managed to press his name and hit the green call button.

It went straight to voicemail. The beep sounded and she contemplated hanging up. But after a pause she spoke, clearing her throat first.

“Hey, it’s me…but you probably saw that already.” Another long pause. “So…I was hoping you’d pick up, but…you’re probably sleeping. I just…wanted to…”

She paused long enough that she was worried she’d be cut off, so she rushed out the rest. “Just wanted to say I love you.” Her throat caught. “And Merry Christmas.”

She heard a beep in her ear. “Oh,” she said, surprised, “I’ve got another call.” She saw Jensen’s name on the caller ID and hung up with the voicemail.

“Jensen?” She said tentatively as she answered.

“Hey.” He said softly.

“Hi. I was just…” She let out a burst of slightly nervous laughter. “I just left you a message.”

“Oh?” Jensen asked. “What did you say?”

“Just…just Merry Christmas, and…love you.” She answered, her voice almost shy. Then she burst out full voice. “Jensen I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to -”

But Jensen cut her off. “No, baby, I’m sorry. That’s the whole point.”

The tension eased slightly from their voices and Y/N tried to explain her disappointment. “I just miss you.”

“I know, believe me, I know.”

She was going to say something else, but Jensen spoke first. “I had something delivered to you.”

“You what?” Y/N asked with a laugh of surprise. “You had something delivered to me, from across the country, at one in the morning on Christmas Eve?”

“Yeah, it should have been there by now. It’s probably already sitting on your porch. Go check. But stay on the phone with me cause it’s after midnight.”

Y/N giggled a little breathlessly and ran to the front door. She grabbed her sweater from the peg beside it and pulled it on against the snowy chill outside. She opened the door and peered out, but she didn’t see anything.

She stepped tentatively outside in her slippers. “There’s nothing here.” She told him. “I hope someone didn’t steal it.” She worried.

“No, it’s okay, I got it.”

Y/N's head whipped around as Jensen’s voice echoed tinnily through the phone. Her face froze as he walked towards her from the side of the porch, holding a box in his hand.

Y/N gasped loudly and then immediately screamed, running forward to throw herself into Jensen’s arms, making him drop the box. She wrapped her arms around him, holding on for dear life

His strong arms wrapped her up, cuddling her close against his thick, navy blue winter coat. She buried her face in his chest and wept unabashedly. He placed a kiss on the crown of her head and then kept his cheek pressed there while she cried her fill of happy tears. She finally pulled back to look up at him, with tear tracks mottling her skin. His big hands were cold as he pushed her hair back and cupped her cheeks.

“What are you doing here?” She asked. “How did you manage this? What did you tell them?”

Jensen shrugged. “Told ‘em to fuck off.” She choked on her laughter as he continued. “I told them in slightly more polite terms, but not by much.”

She shook her head, a worried smile on her face. “But Jensen, you’re gonna get in trouble.”

“I don’t care.”

“You’re gonna get fired.”

“I don’t care.”

When she opened her mouth to speak again, he kissed her, sucking away her breath and warming her from head to toe. Then he pulled away before pulling her close, tucking his face into the crook of her neck, and speaking against her skin. “I don’t care about anything more than I care about you.”

He pushed on her shoulders so he could look her in the eye. “You are everything to me Y/N and I need you to know that.”

He cupped her cheeks again, thumbs brushing away her newest tears. “So, to that end…” he bent down and scooped up the box he’d dropped. He brushed the fluffy snow from it and handed it to Y/N for her to open. “Merry Christmas.”

Y/N felt her heart race and then lodge in her throat as she cracked open the ring-sized box. Sure enough, nestled inside on a bed of velvet was a beautiful, elegant, gold engagement ring.

Jensen bent to one knee, and she started sobbing, trying desperately to hear him over her own noisy joy.

His bright, green gaze was sure and steady and overflowing with love. She wondered now, how she could ever have doubted it.

“I need you to know,” He began, “that I love you more than anything. That there is nothing,” he emphasized, “nothing more important to me than you. And for the rest of our lives I wanna be with you on all our Christmases and every New Year’s Eve, and Valentine’s Day, Fourth of Julys, hell, Arbor Days even!” he said with a watery chuckle. “It doesn’t matter what I’m celebrating, I wanna be celebrating it with you.”

He slipped the ring on her finger and she cried harder. After a minute he squeezed her hand. “Is there a yes in there, maybe - this snow’s cold on the knee.”

Y/N laughed merrily and threw her arms around his neck. “Yes!” She shouted, and squealed as he stood up, and spun her around in a dizzying circle.

“Thank god.” He said quietly as he brushed his thumb across her mouth. “Fuck, I missed you, baby. Please say I can kiss you now.”

Y/N's belly clenched and her breathing kicked up a notch as she nodded and breathed against his cool lips. “Yes, god.” She sighed.

He kissed her deeply, sweeping his tongue past her lips and licking up into the roof of her mouth. Many breathless minutes later, Jensen pulled back and wore a contemplative look. “Mmm…you taste like pumpkin pie.”

Y/N smiled. “Oh yeah, I made you a pumpkin pie.” His eyes lit up. “But I ate it.”

Jensen laughed and began kissing and nibbling on her neck. “Well, then I guess I just gotta feast on you.”

He pushed her back through her front door and slammed it shut, kicking off his shoes and pulling off her sweater as he went. By the time he got her to her bedroom, he had them both stripped to nothing. They fell easily onto the bed, clinging to each other and savoring the closeness they’d missed for so long.

Jensen kissed her slowly, skating his lips across her skin, stopping to lick and nip at different peaks and valleys of her body, making her arch into him and card her fingers through his hair. She tugged on it as his soft, smooth beard tickled her skin, before moaning deeply as it scratched against the delicate skin of her inner thighs.

Jensen kept her coming on his tongue for a very long time, till she was shaking and shuddering and begging him to fill her up.

“Jensen, please,” she panted, “I need you so close to me.”

Jensen understood exactly what she meant. Seconds later he pushed into her welcoming heat, home at last, finding the bliss he always found in her arms, and giving it back to her.

***

Christmas morning dawned bright and sunny and Y/N stretched languidly, rousing Jensen beside her, smiling as he gave out a sleepy moan. She turned to face him and gently traced her finger down the line of his nose and then began counting his cinnamon freckles, connecting them as she went.

Another small moan issued from Jensen’s throat. “S’early.” He mumbled. “Why’re you wake?”

She placed kisses all along his tight, square jaw before she answered. “I was just admiring my gift.”

He cracked one eye and looked at her left hand as it passed over his chest. A small smile lit his face and he ran a finger over her engagement ring. “You like, sweetheart?”

Y/N nodded. “Oh, definitely. The ring is gorgeous.” She moved quickly, climbing on top of him and straddling his hips, surprising a deep groan out of him; she could feel him harden beneath her. “But that’s not the gift I was talking about.”

She braced herself against his shoulders and rolled her hips against him before leaning down and pressing her lips softly to his, her voice teasing and full of love.

“Merry Christmas, Christmas present.”

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impala-dreamer · 23 days

Text

Save Me - Part One

A Short Story

~ Sometimes, when life seems the brightest, shadows creep in. After announcing their engagement to the world, Jensen's fiancé is kidnapped. With the help of a friend, she tries to fight her way back home to him.~

Jensen Ackles x F!Reader, Dean Winchester

7,160 Words Total. Part one: 3,209

Warnings: My kind of Super Angst. Blood. Injury. Kidnapping. It's really sad...

A/N: Written for @jacklesversebingo "No one's coming to save you. Get up!"

PART ONE ~ PART TWO

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist ~ Patreon ~ Published Works

Her thoughts were hazy; her head throbbing from the repeated blows. The blood that had trickled down her neck had dried and she could feel how matted her hair was around the wounds.

Her muscles ached, her skin was bruised and broken in more than one spot. The cramped trunk she’d been forced into and the bumpy ride had nearly crippled her. She’d tried to count the turns they took, the miles they raced across, but disorientation and fear had been too much to overcome.

Wrists and knees bound in scratchy, rough rope and eyes blinded by a scarf, Y/N was led from the car and dragged up a few stairs. She could hear a lock turn and the hinges of a door creak. Boots on a wooden floor; the heavy breathing of her captor.

The house was warm. Heat was pulsing up from hissing radiators and the smell hung heavy in the air, mixing with the stench of stale cigarettes and rotting trash. Still, she was grateful for the warmth. January in Indianapolis was freezing and the trunk hadn’t exactly been insulated.

“Where are you taking me?” she whimpered, cringing as the fingers around her upper arms dug into her flesh.

There was no answer.

“Please! Don’t do this. We can work something out.”

When she refused to take another step, she was yanked forward and thrown into another room. Her sneakers squeaked and she recognized the sound of cheap linoleum flooring under her rubber soles.

A kitchen. Knives. A backdoor, maybe.

She twisted against the tight hold. “Please, just let me go. I swear to god I won’t go to the cops. No charges pressed. Please. We can get out of this mess.”

The giant hand gripped her harder and Y/N groaned at the pain.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

A gruff voice shouted by her ear. “Shut up!”

She bit her tongue but refused to give up. “Let me go!”

With all of her strength, she pivoted to the right, shoving her elbow hard into the solid body behind her. She heard a pained grunt and the hand holding her released. She spun around the other way and tried to run, but it was no use. Still tied, her knees buckled and she began to fall.

The hands were back, yanking her harshly back onto her feet. She screamed and fist collided with her jaw. Sparks erupted in the blackness of her vision, pain spread across her face.

“Told you to shut up!”

Y/N held her breath and squeezed her lips shut.

Tugged forward again, she stumbled deeper into the kitchen and heard a door open. Cold air hit her face and she shuddered.

“Where are we going?” Tears soaked into the blindfold. “Please…”

Hands released her and Y/N teetered on the edge of what felt like the top of a staircase.

A basement.

She panicked.

“No, no, no!”

“I told you to shut the fuck up!”

His fist connected with her temple and Y/N fell. She counted four stairs before every sensation and thought vanished.

“You sure we should be doing this here?”

Y/N looked over from the edge of the bed at Jensen who was fixing his hair in the mirror. He was primped and picture perfect for a busy day at the convention. Tight black tee under a denim jacket, immaculately ripped jeans, and brown boots. Add to it all the longer hair and a beard- he looked a little too good.

He caught her eye in the mirror and smiled. “I do. I think this is the best place to do it.”

Y/N squirmed nervously and lifted her left leg onto her knee so she could retie her sneaker for the tenth time. Her engagement ring glimmered and she sighed happily at the diamond.

It was perfect.

He was perfect.

And yet-

“What if they don’t like me? Or they get mad, or-”

Jensen spun around and dipped his chin, looking at her with a stern gaze. “Then I’ll kill them. All of them.”

His voice had dropped to a deep, rough growl and Y/N laughed.

“OK, Dean.”

Jensen exhaled loudly and straightened up, returning to himself. He closed the space between them with two long strides and fell to one knee. He took her hand, the same hand that he’d held two weeks ago when he’d asked her to marry him.

“I promise,” he said softly. “They’re gonna love you.”

Her cheeks warmed and her tension eased.

“How can you be sure?”

Green eyes beamed as he smiled.

“Because I love you.”

Pain woke her.

Stabbing, white-hot pain that spread through the entirety of her left side. Though she couldn’t tell where it manifested from, several points along her body had made contact with the concrete floor and spikes of pain radiated from each one.

Her cheek was smashed against the frozen floor and her nose ached. Gingerly, she rolled onto her back. The scarf over her eyes had shifted a bit and she could see a faint stream of light surrounded by creeping shadows.

The air was frigid and damp, and smelled like mold. She shivered as the cold seeped through her thin clothing and into her soul.

Fear wrapped itself around her lungs and squeezed. Her breathing quickened, her sore jaw trembled. She tasted blood, felt every bruise, every splinter of bone. Her mind raced, trying to make sense of the last twelve hours.

Late evening. The convention center. Walking from the loading dock to the back parking lot. Low hanging ceiling; giant yellow lights. Cars jammed in every spot. A dirty white van. A shiny black Explorer. An old gold Camry.

The Camry.

Something heavy hitting her head. Her ears rang. The warmth of blood oozed across her scalp.

She could feel the trunk closing around her, the thin upholstery. The stink of gasoline wrinkled her nose.

Her chest burned. Her throat closed.

She screamed.

“Somebody help me! Help!”

She thrashed against the ground; ropes still would tight around her wrists and legs.

“Help!”

Turning her face back to the concrete, she wiggled her forehead against the stone, pushing the blindfold up and away from her eyes. She blinked into the darkness and let out a hopeless cry.

The basement wasn’t big, but it was old and dark. Light streamed down from the door at the top of the staircase but she’d rather not have any.

Cobwebs hung from the ceiling, spiders lurked in corners, ghosts swept like cold breath over her skin.

“Please…” Tears flowed freely, dripping down her cheeks and onto the floor. She let go, sobbing into the darkness, lost and terrified. “Help me…”

The stage was bigger than she thought it would be; the curtains heavier. She stood off to the side, hiding in the wings while Jensen awed the crowd.

He really was something magnificent. With a tiny smile, he could captivate a crowd. One well-timed wink could send them to their knees, have them swooning and begging for more.

Y/N watched happily as he answered questions and animatedly told a few stories about his work on The Boys. He had a million stories and she would never get tired of hearing them.

She could feel the hour waning and nerves crept up her spine. She steadied her breathing and twirled the platinum ring on her finger. It was too big, she thought, but it didn’t matter. It could be a lump of camel dung and she’d love it. He’d given it to her.

Finally, Jensen cleared his throat and threw a glance over his shoulder at her. It was time.

“I’m sure most of you have heard the rumors,” he said, microphone clutched in his left hand. “So, I thought we’d put them to rest right now.”

The audience’s anticipation was nearly tangible. Hopeful silence rang through the room.

“If you’ll indulge me, I’d like to introduce you to my fiance…”

Right arm extended, Jensen gestured to Y/N and she took a deep breath before stepping out into the bright lights.

Her hands were numb. The skin around her wrists was bloody and stinging. In a panic, she twisted her hands, chewed on the knots, screamed through her teeth.

The desperate cries rang off the leaky stone walls and bounced back at her. She was sure that no one outside would be able to hear her, even if they weren’t in the middle of nowhere.

She had no idea, really, where she was. She did know that they had driven for a long while, and most of the journey had been on uneven, unpaved roads. Surely, they were well outside of the city and anywhere there might be neighbors nearby to hear her pleas for help.

Giving up and afraid of breaking her teeth on the knot, she rolled onto her knees and carefully shuffled over to the stairs. The wooden banister was old and unfinished, just bare wood hammered into place. She rubbed the rope against the edge, hoping to fray the strands and break free.

“What are you gonna do once you get those ropes off?”

Y/N froze and looked around, searching the shadows for the source of the familiar voice.

“Hello?”

“You got a plan?”

“What?” She squinted into the shadows but there was nothing there. She was alone.

“I said, do you have a plan to get out of here?”

“Who’s there!”

A deep, kind laugh. “You know who it is, Y/N/N. What you don’t know is how to get out of here.”

Her heart raced. She did know who it was, but she wouldn’t admit it. If she was hearing his voice, she was going insane. Or she was concussed, which seemed more likely.

Can you go crazy from that?

“Depends on how hard they hit you, I guess,” he said.

Y/N grit her teeth and tried to ignore him. She went back to work furiously rubbing against the post.

“Keep going, you almost got it.”

She sighed. “Go away.”

Another laugh, softer, under his breath. “You don’t mean that. You need me.”

Y/N groaned and kept at her task. Tiny specks of dust and fibers danced in the faint light and she picked up speed, forcing it harder into the wood.

The rope snapped before she could steady herself and she fell forward, smashing her forehead into the corner of the post.

“Fuck!”

Dizzy, she tore the broken twine away and sat back on her ass. She kicked her legs out and untied the rope around her legs. Finally able to move, she jumped to her feet.

The sudden movement was too much for her head and she fell onto the steps, palms crushing into the damp wood.

“Be careful…”

Y/N rolled her eyes at the phantom voice and crawled on aching hands and knees up the steep stairs.

Once at the top, she held her breath and pressed her ear to the door, listening.

If anyone was near, they made no sound.

Carefully, she stood up and grabbed the knob. Praying for release, she turned the brass but it caught halfway around. She turned it again and again hoping something would change, but it was locked.

“Hello!” She beat against the door, kicked it hard. “Help me! Hello!” Fists pounded, her throat tore. “Let me out!”

Someone on the other side kicked at the door and it rattled in the frame.

“Shut the fuck up!” he bellowed, scaring her even more.

Y/N jerked back from the door and felt all hope drain away as boots thudded across the linoleum and the lights went out.

To her surprise, the audience cheered. Smiles beamed up at her from the front row, applause washed over her.

Timidly, and with Jensen’s encouragement, she stepped up to the microphone stand and smiled.

“Hey, guys.”

Her cheeks were burning, her eyes squinting in the stage lights. She raised a hand to shield her face from the glare and looked out into the room. Every seat was filled and fans stood along the back wall. It seemed everyone at the con was in that room, watching Jensen give his big announcement.

She tried to take the mic but her hand was shaking terribly. Jensen came to her aid and pulled it from the stand. He kissed her cheek.

“You’re gonna be great,” he whispered. “They already love you, just go with it.”

Already, people were queueing up on either side of the stage, ready to ask a question should the lines be opened again.

“How’s it going?” she asked, receiving a loud cheer in reply. “Yeah, me too.” She laughed and took a shy step back. Her heart was racing, her lips hurt from smiling.

Jensen watched her with bright, loving eyes. He placed his big hand on her lower back and gave a gentle push.

His touch calmed her instantly. She turned to look up at him and everything else faded away. She’d be fine, he was with her. Always.

“Well, show them,” he said into the mic.

Y/N laughed and rolled her eyes.

“Go on…”

With dramatic, mock reluctance, she extended her left hand and showed off her new ring. It sparkled in the lights and the fans went wild.

She checked the door three more times. She twisted the knob until her palms were raw. She kicked at the wood until her legs ached.

In the darkness, she felt her way down the stairs and collapsed onto the floor. Her head was pounding and a sharp, unending ring blasted loud in her ears.

She lay on her right side, shivering and sweating at the same time. Her face was clammy and her eyes felt as if they were on fire.

“You have a fever,” he said. “That’s not good.”

Y/N turned towards the voice and gasped.

Leaning against the staircase railing was a ghost of her imagination, a handsome vision in a denim jacket and ripped jeans. Red flannel peeked out beneath the jacket and his pockets were full. His jaw was shaded with light stubble; his hair was short and fluffed upwards. His forehead was creased and he crossed his ankles and arms, staring down at her.

She shook her head but her vision wouldn’t clear. He was blurry but obviously there.

“Dean?”

He chuckled. “Who else?”

She sighed painfully and closed her eyes. “You’re not real.”

The apparition pushed off from the post and shrugged. “I’m more real than anything else you got right now. Who are you gonna talk to? That rat over there?”

She cringed. “What!”

He laughed outright and rubbed at the back of his neck. “You’re gonna have to toughen up real quick, Sweetheart, if you’re gonna get out of this.”

“There’s no way out of this.”

Dean crouched down, set his forearms on his knees, getting close to her. “There’s always a way out. You may not like it, but there’s always a way.”

Something caught in the back of her throat and she coughed hard. Violent pain erupted across her middle and she screamed, folding in on herself.

Dean’s worried hands floated over her body; his face contorted with helplessness.

“Hey. Hey! You’re OK. Just breathe.”

She coughed again and her limbs spasmed, twisting inwards.

“Hey! Y/N/N, come on.”

She imagined she could feel the heaviness of his hand on her shoulder.

“Shh… It’s a broken rib… or six. You’re gonna be OK.”

Her eyes were wide, her skin paled. “Can’t… breathe.”

“Hey, hang on… Stay with me!”

Another cough let loose a spray of crimson from her lips and Y/N’s eyes rolled back.

Dean’s voice echoed in her head and everything else faded away.

He kissed her on stage. In front of everyone. In front of a thousand cameras flashing and videos rolling. He kissed her hard, dipped her over his arm.

Y/N was embarrassed and thrilled and in love. It was hard to contain or sort through the emotions running through her, and when they walked off stage together, she started to cry.

Jensen spun around and bent down to reach her eye level.

“Baby, no… what’s wrong?”

She shook her head and tried to look away, but two giant hands framed her face and held her there.

“What’s going on?” he asked, green eyes flooded with worry. “Did I do something?”

She smiled and sniffled. “No. No, Jen, you didn’t. I’m just…” She took a shaky breath. “I’m so fucking happy.”

She took a shaky breath and lifted her head from the frozen concrete. The chill had entered her bones, chilling the marrow and numbing her digits. Her joints ached; the breaks in her body stung. She wiped at the dried blood on her mouth and tried to sit up.

It hurt too much to move.

“I’m thirsty,” she croaked. Her throat was raw and her voice crackled.

“You gotta get outta here.”

She growled. “Ya think? How?” She pushed up on one arm and glared his way.

Dean was standing in the dark next to the stairs. Hands shoved in his pockets; bottom lip tugged harshly between his teeth.

“I don’t even know where ‘here’ is!”

He sighed. “I know.”

“Or who they are!”

He pursed his lips, took a breath. “I know-”

“Or why the fuck I’m locked in a basement!”

Dean rolled his head on his shoulders, looking for answers on the ceiling. “That’s it.” He snapped his fingers and looked down at her.

“What’s it?”

“Why are you here?”

She rolled onto her ass and slowly tucked her knees to her chest. Every movement hurt, but it was better than freezing to death laid out like a ragdoll.

“I already said, I don’t know.”

He dropped his chin, narrowed his gaze. “Think.”

She shook her head. “I have no fucking idea.”

“They haven’t touched you,” he noted.

She scoffed. “Um… I don’t know if you recall that I’ve been bludgeoned and shoved into a trunk and beaten and-”

Dean held up his hand, surrendering and asking for patience. “I mean, they haven’t… touched touched you.”

“You mean like-”

“Yeah.” He scrubbed a hand down his face.

“So they’re not gonna like… rape me or anything. That’s good.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.” He scratched his head. “So why are you here? What do they want from you?”

Y/N shrugged and winced at a new found pain. Her neck was stiff, her spine tingled.

“Think!”

She startled. “I don’t know!”

“Think. What’s missing?”

“I don’t-” Her head hurt. Her vision unfocused.

“Come on, kid. Think.”

“My… my ring.” She reached for the diamond, but her finger was bare. “My ring is gone.”

Dean hummed. “Yeah. But what’s still here?”

She took stock of herself, struggling to remember what she’d worn that morning and what was left.

“My necklace,” she answered, touching her clavicle. “My jewelry. They didn’t take anything else.”

Dean came closer as he led her thought process along. “So, they…”

She swallowed hard. “This isn’t a robbery or anything. They don’t want to rape me. They… It’s got something to do with you.” She looked up into green eyes and a hard expression. “I mean, with- with Jensen.”

TO BE CONTINUED... Part Two

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yourmomxx · 10 months

Text

Family Line

father of mine masterlist

summary: the hunt for the monster starts. We find out what happened all those years ago between Dean and his daughter.

warnings: canon violence, child abandonment, swear words, angst, daddy issues, character death, descriptions of blood, descriptions of murder, this is written like an episode of Supernatural

word count: 8,5k

a/n: we did it, guys! this is the last part of the father-of-mine series. I’m really sorry about the late upload, but I do hope it was worth the wait! This might be the ending of this series, but not quite the ending of the story … thank you all so much for sticking around and supporting this story, sequels and prequels about dean and his daughter will definitely come!

pt1 pt2 pt3

Sioux Falls 2007

It was late at night, and in Bobby Singer’s Junkyard, the lights were still on. Accompanying the chirping tunes of the cicadas, a fading pop song from somewhere in the ‘70s was trailing out the windows.

On the small wooden table in the kitchen, Dean and Sam Winchester had spread out a multitude of lore books found in Bobby’s bookshelf, some worn out, some torn, and Sam was currently leaned over a particularly ugly-written paragraph dedicated to the magical use of a pan’s flute.

“Dean, I can hear you being silent.” Sam raised his head to look his older brother in the eye. “What is it?”

Dean shrugged, threw a look at the numerous variations of old books about supernatural creatures laid out in front of them, then at his little brother.

“You’re overworking yourself, Sammy,” Dean pointed out. The keyboard clicked as he typed something on the laptop.

“Dean, we’ve been over this,” Sam said. “I’m just trying to find a way for you to not die. You can’t exactly blame me for that.”

“Yes, exactly, we’ve been over it,” Dean countered. “And I told you there’s no way around it. I made a deal, that’s it. Period, no refunds.”

Sam clenched his jaw. “Well, I don’t want that to be it.” He muttered under his breath.

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself when they heard the sound of tiny footsteps over the floor.

Dean perked up and turned his head.

“Hey, my little love.”

A while ago, the soft tone in his brother’s words would have caught Sam completely off guard. By now, he was already getting used to the way Dean’s eyes had a different look in them – one of pure love – and he spoke with a softness as if his words alone should wrap their recipient up in satin cloth.

Sam turned around to look at who Dean was talking to, and was not surprised to see a small girl trutting towards them, little legs still uncoordinated after only just waking up. Her small fists were rubbing her squinted eyes, the light in the living room must be blinding her.

Y/N made her way over to Dean and made grabby hands up at him.

Dean chuckled and picked his daughter up under her arms, placing her carefully on his thigh as she nuzzled into his dark flannel shirt.

Sam smiled at the contrast of Dean’s shirt, and her bright yellow children’s nightgown with the washed out Led Zeppelin-logo printed on.

Dean’s big hand was rubbing circles on her back, as he craned his neck to bow it down to her.

“What are you doing awake so late, sweetheart?” He hushed.

Y/N nuzzled her nose into his neck. “’d a bad dream,” she mumbled.

Sam could see the emotion cross over his brother’s face for a brief second as he made eye contact with him.

They both knew that this could – would – happen. That little girl had been through so much already, at her young age, had seen and lost things no child should ever see or lose.

They both had known that nightmares would probably eventually start haunting her, but yet, they had still not been prepared for when it was the time.

Dean didn’t know what he should be feeling, his daughter had had a nightmare, and all he wanted was to wrap his arms around her, keep her there, and kill everything in her way to becoming happy.

But he knew he couldn’t do that. And that’s why he wanted to, so much more.

“Really?” He asked instead, hand not leaving her back. “Do you want to tell me what it was about?”

“Everybody was leaving me,” Y/N sniffled, small fist rubbing her nose. “You, Auntie Ellen, Jo, Uncle Sam, Grandpa Bobby.” Another sniffle.

“I was all alone.”

Dean felt like sobbing. A heavy weight had latched itself on his heart. Oh, his little girl. How much he loved her.

“Sweetheart, it was just a bad dream,” he promised to her. “We are not going to leave you alone, I swear.”

Y/N pulled her face from the crook of his neck and looked up at him with red rimmed eyes.

“Pinky promise?” She asked.

Dean lifted his free hand and linked his pinky finger with hers. “Pinky promise,” he said.

Something told him he had made a mistake. But he couldn’t care right now.

Still, he felt like a liar.

“Now,” he said, a conspiratorial tone in his words, “What do you say we get you back to bed and I stay until you fall asleep, hm? How does that sound?”

Y/N didn’t fuss long about it, she just nodded her head and nuzzled closer to him.

Dean understood the silent command, and lifted her into his arms as he stood up. “Alright. Let’s go.”

Sam looked after them as they disappeared up the stairs. Now alone, he turned his attention back to his research. Why he was reading everything about the dog Cerberus right now, he couldn’t quite decipher, but he was grasping onto every straw.

A few minutes passed by, and Dean was still not back. Another few, another few.

Sam frowned as he looked at the clock on the wall. 5.13 in the evening. Sam realized now that the clock was broken.

Curtly, he stood up from the table and climbed the stairs to the bedrooms.

The door to Y/N’s room was open, hiding the colored sign she had written her name on (with Dean’s help) to inform everyone of her territory.

Careful to be quiet, Sam stepped closer to the threshold, peeking into the dark room. A dim night light in the form of a crescent moon was burning on the nightstand. In the bed laid a small bundle of blankets and stuffed animals, which Sam could only guess was Y/N.

Next to her, holding the girl in his arms, Sam spotted Dean, probably holding on for dear life on the edge of the narrow bed.

Sam smiled at them.

Through the silence, a soft, hummed melody reached Sam’s ears, and he perked up.

He knew that song from somewhere, he just couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

Na-na na na. Nana na-a.

Sam’s eyes narrowed. “Dude, are you singing her Smells like Teen Spirit?”

Dean looked at him, grinning. “Yeah. It’s a classic.” As if it was the most obvious thing in the world and Sam was the stupid one.

“I mean, look at her,” he said, his gaze shifting to his daughter again. “She’s gonna be a badass one day. Right? One day, you’re gonna be as badass and cool as your daddy.”

Oh yeah, that girl was out like a light.

Sam just shook his head chuckling. “All right, I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”

Dean didn’t answer him, but he knew he heard him.

A few minutes after Sam had left, currently sitting at the kitchen table again, starting a new chapter of the same book, Dean came downstairs.

Wordlessly, he took his seat across from Sam, and pulled one of the lore books closer to him.

And though he had an idea where his brother’s new sense of determination came from, Sam didn’t say a word when Dean started reading.

༺｡° ୨❀୧ °｡༻

Now

When you called, for a brief second Sam was worried that Dean was gonna crash the car. The way his face morphed into shock, concern and then anger, while he was talking to you on the phone had his little brother worried.

After you hung up, Sam pretended not to notice the way Dean pushed further into the gas pedal.

The first rays of the morning sunlight made their way over the hills, when Sam and Dean arrived at the Group Home. Dean didn’t bother with a neat parking maneuver, and just turned the motor off, then made his way with fast steps over to the castle.

Sam trailed behind.

They had no problem entering the building, Maria had given them an official key card for their investigations. Dean stormed down the hallways with a fast step, as if he had memorized the entire way by heart.

Sam wouldn’t blame him.

You were sitting on your bed when they came in. Or more, cowering there.

Sam was all too familiar with the look of disturbed terror in your eyes, even when you firmly avoided looking at either of them.

“Y/N?” Dean moved a step forward, stretching his hand out towards you as if to soothingly touch your shoulder, but hesitated in his movement and pulled away.

Sam threw him a worried look that Dean didn’t seem to catch.

“What happened?”

Your fingers were continuously drumming against your knee pulled close to your chest.

“’d a bad dream,” you mumbled. Sam could hear the fear in your voice. Dean sat down in your chair opposite the bed.

“When I woke up, there was …” You swallowed and hardly squinted your eyes. “I don’t know what it was. Looked like two yellow … eyes.”

Sam couldn’t help the disgusted twist his face made at the word. He couldn’t imagine waking up to something like this.

Dean exchanged a look with him. Your story confirmed their theory even more.

On the bed, you had gone quiet again. Your fingers were still drumming an uneven pattern on your skin.

This didn’t make sense. This didn’t make sense. She was dead, Cass was dead. Roy was dead. Dean Winchester was here. He left you, and now he was here, but not for you, no, but for Roy. They were all dead.

And you were next.

“Have you ever heard of an alp?” Your head snapped up as Dean’s question pulled you out of your spiraling thoughts.

“An Alp?” Your eyebrows furrowed. “I mean - yes, I came across that lore when I was still taking German literature.”

“You took German Literature?” Dean regretted his question as soon as he asked it.

“Yes,” you answered, but something had shifted in your tone. It was low and pressed. Shit. He knew he should’ve just kept his mouth shut. Sam felt like smacking his brother across the head.

“So you know what they are?” He asked instead, and you shrugged, looking at your feet again.

“Yes, well, I know that the Germans believed that an Alp would sit on their chests while they slept, and it would feed on their good dreams - plaguing the sleeping person with terrible nightmares. That’s why they used to have shortened beds, because if they weren’t lying down, the alp couldn’t sit on their chest.”

While you talked, realization hit you like a brick. Or more like a huge wave, rather, if the feeling of being violently ripped of all air was anything to go by.

“Oh my God,” You breathed out. “Cass and Roy both had nightmares before they died.” You looked between Dean and Sam with shock-widened eyes. “This Alp thing was the reason for all of this, right? I’m gonna die, aren’t I?”

“Not if we have a say in it.” Dean’s jaw remained stoically clenched as he spoke his promise.

“What did you dream about?” Sam asked.

You ducked your head even further into yourself and picked at the skin next to your nails. “’s it important?”

“It could be.”

You took a deep breath and bit the inside of your cheek. “Same as Roy,” you simply said. “Worst day of my life.”

And, okay. Sam didn’t get into college for being slow, he knew exactly what day that was. And judging by the brief flicker of emotion crossing over Dean’s face, he knew, too.

But he didn’t address it and only cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. “Look, if it really is an Alp – which it probably is – then we already know how to get rid of it.”

“We would lure it into a trap. You know, get us some … bait and then just –“ Dean symbolically dragged a finger across his throat.

You raised your eyebrows in concern. “And how do you think that’s gonna work?”

Admittedly, this hadn’t been your smartest moment, but given the circumstances you were in, you figured you could be forgiven.

Sam dipped his head. “That’s where you come in.”

“You can always say no,” Dean carefully offered. “If you don’t want to do it.”

You lifted your chin in the air. “This thing is the reason two of my best friends are dead,” you said. “I want to pay back the favor.”

Sam nodded. “Alright then.”

“So you guys got a plan?” You asked.

Sam and Dean exchanged a look and Dean sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, we do.”

—

It was loud in the cafeteria. It always was. Today, though, you were especially aware of it, because most of the noise was heavily directed towards you.

Or rather, about you, which had just the same effect in your opinion.

You had barely entered the big room and had already felt a few dozen eyes fixated on you. The whispering had started when you got closer to the buffet, and the occasional double-take and looking-fast-away-when-she-is-looking had continued when you had sat down.

Of course, how else should it be, you had been given the rehearsed “My condolences” or “I’m so sorry for your loss”.

Long story short, to you it felt like the day of Roy’s death all over again.

Except this time, they were serving pasta, and not chicken with rice.

It was days like these (which, in your opinion, had been happening far too often over the past few weeks), that made you hate this place even more. It’s not like you had had a reason for that before, the supervisors were nice, so were the helping staff and, of course, Maria.

Maria, who had taken you under her wing from the first day you arrived here. She had acted like a mother towards you, the one you had never had, no matter how hostile you had acted towards her.

Still, as you grew older, the whole thing felt simply more washed out and sickening.

Maybe this really was just a side effect of puberty, as your gynecologist had said.

As you let your gaze travel over the many familiar faces, you couldn’t help but notice that Finn wasn’t under any of them.

Finn, your beloved Finn. You then suddenly remembered the text conversation the two of you had had the other night. Before, well – everything. You still needed to stay true to that.

Silently, you made a note to yourself in your head, to drop by his room straight after lu-

A broad silhouette squeezing into the seat opposite you blocked your view over the hall, and your eyebrows shot up as you realized who it was.

“Uhm, hello?” You asked as Dean folded his hands on the table.

“You told everyone I was dead?” He asked, purposely skimming over your question.

You frowned and opened the small package of parmesan. “Well, aren’t you? About six times?”

Dean frowned and you caught him counting something under his breath with his fingers.

You shook your head, making a point of ignoring him and poured sauce over the dry spaghetti.

“That’s not even my point.”

“What, you’re saying you didn’t barge into the middle of my lunch – after the night I had – to scold me over the inaccuracy of your death rate?” You clicked your tongue. “Surprise.”

Dean apparently didn’t deem it necessary to address your sarcastic tone. That, or he knew just how much he deserved it, which you were fine with, either way.

“Look,” he started, and Jesus, this was going to be serious. “I wanted to talk to you about what happened last night.”

Confused, you tilted your head.

“I mean about the dream,” Dean quickly added. “I mean, we both know what it was about, and I just …” He cut himself off, cleared his throat, and let out a short breath that was probably supposed to be failed attempt at a laugh.

“I’m not a big … talking guy, you know? But I just … I always told myself, if I ever had kids, that I would be different then. That …” He stopped again.

“I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”

You scoffed. “You’re a bit late for that,” you spat. “I mean, it’s been what, almost a decade? ‘Sorry’ travels far, but not that many years.”

“I know that,” Dean said, “But I want you to know, that-“

“Well, I don’t want to know!” You interrupted him. Maybe too loud, if the simultaneous turn of heads was anything to go by. “I don’t want you to tell me anything. No excuses, no explanations, I want, and I need absolutely nothing from you, you understand?”

Dean bit the inside of his cheek.

“Believe me, I do.” He said. “But still-“

“No!” The dishes clattered as you slammed your hand on the table. “Dean, you don’t understand! You just left me here, at this orphanage –“

“It’s a group home.”

“Same thing, Dean!” You snapped. “Just a fancier word.”

Dean carefully pulled his hand away from the table, folding it with his other in his lap. You could feel him watching you, but you consequently avoided his gaze.

“Look, I’m not gonna have this conversation right now,” You decided. “I am going to go talk to my best friend, and when I go to sleep, I’ll try not to get killed! So goodbye.”

And with that, you picked up your still full lunch-tray, dumped it on one of the cleaning wagons, and made your way out of the cafeteria.

You never turned around to see Dean looking after you.

༺｡° ୨❀୧ °｡༻

St. George, Louisiana 2012

Dean Winchester was standing by a window. Through the clean glass he had a clear view of green gardens, well-kept flowers and trees leaning in the soft breeze of the wind.

Further away, he spotted the tall hedge walls of something that had to be a garden maze.

“I hope you know just how grateful I am for what you and your brother did for me.”

The voice of Maria Whitlock lifted Dean out of his thoughts, and he turned around to face the older woman.

She spoke in a soothing tone, one that reminded him of a mother he never had, but learned to long for.

Dean nodded. “That’s our job.”

Maria gave him a look and tilted her head. He was standing in her office, a neatly tidied room with a shelf for books and files, and a rather expensive looking desk. Very clean as well.

“What you decided to do was probably very hard,” she continued. “But I can assure you, in most cases, it turns out to be the better option for both parties.”

He didn’t like the way she talked about his plan like it was a good thing, when it wasn’t. It didn’t make him a good person for doing it.

“I’m sure, Dean, that there will be a lovely family out there who will take care of her –“

“No, no, no, that’s not what I meant.” He quickly interrupted her. It was the first time in here he had spoken more than for words. “I don’t … I don’t want someone else to take her in.”

Maria raised her skeptical eyebrows at him. “Do I understand correctly, Dean?” She asked. “You want her to just - stay here?” And her tone was implying exactly what she held of that idea.

“Look, I know how that sounds.”

“I really hope you do.”

“But my job doesn’t allow me to properly take care of her. When Bobby was still - well, she stayed with him, and we visited her from time to time.”

Maria nodded. “I understand. But what you have to understand, is, that this will surely not be easy for her. Whereas many of the elder children indeed do live here, the younger ones are usually adopted by a foster family who can take care of them. Who can love them,” she added.

Dean looked out the window again.

“I understand that,” He said. “But this is how I want it.”

He couldn’t see Maria behind him, as he was turned away from her, but he could well sense the way her observing, maybe judging gaze was burning between his shoulder blades.

“Well, then.” She sighed.

And as Dean watched the flowers dance in the wind, listening to Maria shuffling through her papers, he couldn’t help but think that this might be one of the most selfish decisions he has ever made.

—

Soft wind was tugging at Dean’s hair. Somewhere in the distance he was aware of the rippling water of a small fountain.

Dean tried to not actively think of what he was doing here. Of the consequences his actions would inevitably cause. He knew he wouldn’t be able to bear it.

Y/N’s hand was holding his in a strong grip, as they walked up to Maria and he greeted her.

Maria leaned down to be on eye level with his daughter and smiled at her.

“Hello Y/N, it’s very nice to meet you. Your Dad has told me so much about you! I’m sure you’ll settle in here just nicely.”

Dean crouched down and placed both his arms on Y/N’s for her to look at him. She had been eyeing Maria and the castle suspiciously.

“Look at me, sweetheart,” he started. “Maria is really, really nice. And because Uncle Sam and I have to work so much, she is going to take very good care of you.”

Y/N averted his eyes and stared at her shoes. Then, sh burst forward, slung her small arms around Dean’s neck and buried her face in his chest.

“I wanna go with you,” she mumbled into his jacket. Dean sighed. With a heavy heart, be broke out of the embrace. “I promise I’m old enough, I want to go with you!” She pleaded again. With every word, Dean’s heart shattered just a bit more.

“Look, you remember when you stayed with Grandpa Bobby for a while when me and Uncle Sammy had to work?” She nodded, sniffling.

“This is gonna be just like that. I promise.”

Y/N sniffled again. Then she held out her hand to him. “Pinky promise?”

I promise that we’ll be fine.

I promise that we’d never just leave you alone.

I promise that Grandpa Bobby will be alright.

Dean pulled Y/N into his chest again. He breathed in deep, as if that would somehow help him savor this moment, savor her to be engraved in his brain to never forget. His little girl, the only thing good and pure in his life.

“Have fun, sweetheart,” he said when they broke apart again.

He stood up, and even though he wasn’t that old, everything in his body hurt at the movement.

“But I don’t know anyone here!” Y/N said again. It has been her go-to argument the entire car ride to the castle.

“I want to go with you and Uncle Sam!”

“Y/N!” The sharpness in Dean’s tone felt like it was cutting him. “I said you can’t.”

Her bottom lip started to tremble, before a big tear rolled down her cheek. Then another one, and another one, until she was full-on sobbing.

“Please, Dad!” She cried, and Dean’s heart shattered.

Behind her, Maria put a caring hand on her shoulder.

“Come on, sweetie, say goodbye to your dad.”

Y/N violently shook her hand off her body. “No! No, I don’t want to go with you! I want to stay with my dad!”

Maria and Dean exchanged a look. In her eyes, he recognized something that told him to change his mind.

It took everything in Dean to turn around and walk away.

He fixated his eyes on his car a few feet away from him. He wasn’t walking very fast, but with the weight that felt tied to his feet, it was the best he could do.

Behind him, Y/N kept crying. And as she was pleading and pleading, for him to come back, for him to stay, the feeling of realization started heavily sinking in, that he was really waking away.

Not only from this situation, from his daughters cries, but from her. From his child.

His feet felt even heavier.

When he reached the car door and opened it, he didn’t feel anything. Everything happened in a haze. He vaguely registered starting the car and pressing his foot on the gas pedal.

His daughter’s sobs were still replaying over and over in his mind like the sounds of a broken vinyl, as the naked road flew by the dirty windows.

Sam didn’t address the single tear that rolled down his brother’s cheek. And Dean just kept driving.

༺｡° ୨❀୧ °｡༻

Now

Since forever on, you had never been quite good with your emotions. Portraying them, talking about them, feeling them.

It was an obstacle.

Looking back at it, you figured it was probably somehow running in your family, the whole being emotionally unavailable thing.

Could that be inherited? According to your biology teacher, yes, but you didn’t know how well you believed that.

Nevertheless, as you knocked on the cold door that was the entrance to your - only left – best friend’s room, emotions welled up in your throat as choking as a tidal wave clashing its weight over your head.

It was dark in there. The curtains had been pulled closed and the thick material wouldn’t let a flicker of daylight in the room.

A smell hung over the entire place, of stale air and leftover food, and the sensation of hopelessness. Finn was sitting on the edge of his bed, a dark silhouette staring crooked at his hands in his lap, only illuminated by the weak light of the bedside lamp.

Without properly acknowledging him, you took quick strides to the other side of the room, and without further ado, ripped his curtains open.

The sun was already lowering down the horizon again, but the leftover light was still enough to turn the dark silhouettes in the bedroom into concrete shapes, of dirty plates, glasses, and clothes scattered all over the floor.

From his place on the bed, Finn groaned lowly, like a small bear being awaken from hibernation.

He rubbed a hand over his eyes as you sat down next to him. The bed dipped under your weight and you moved over a few study sheets that laid on his duvet.

“Hey,” you said.

Finn dropped his hands into his lap again and turned his tired gaze on you.

“Hey,” he said back.

“You wanna talk about it?”

Finn’s eyes tiredly scanned the room around him, the mess it was in, and then shook his head.

“Nah.”

“Alright.” You weren’t, really, but that conversation could wait until another time.

“How you holdin’ up?”

Finn tilted his head to you in a way that said ‘Ain’t it obvious?’ and you shrugged in response. “Stupid question, got it.”

Finn sighed.

There was a silence building between the two of you that you didn’t like. You kept yourself from fidgeting impatiently on the sheets.

“I just-“ Finn cut himself off and ruffled his hand through his hair. “Ever since – well, yesterday – I’ve been thinking about …”

He broke off again, blinking with his face towards the ceiling to avoid the falling of tears.

“Y/N, the last thing I said to her, was – we fought.” Finn’s confession was almost a whimper as he looked at you, awaiting your reaction.

Your heart broke at the look in his eyes, so clouded full with guilt and self-loathing, you almost didn’t recognize him.

“Oh, Finn, she loved you.” You sighed, and placed a gentle yet firm hand on his arm. “She knew what you were going through, what we were all going through. And trust me, she never, not for a second, held it against you. That was one moment out of almost ten years we all spent together. It didn’t mean anything, not in the long run.”

Finn sniffed and rubbed his nose, diverting his gaze to his hands again.

“Finn, she didn’t die hating you.” You put emphasis on every word as much as you could, because you wanted him to hear you, to understand, to believe. You didn’t want to let him wallow in his own self-destructing thoughts about something that wasn’t even true, not in the slightest bit.

Finn just hummed, but didn’t meet your eyes, just kept them trained on his lap. You sighed and let your hand slowly slide from his arm.

For a while, it was quiet again.

“My father is here,” you then blurted out.

Finn’s eyebrows shot up. “The one that died?”

“Yeah.” You weighed your head. “In my defense, I thought he died too, until he showed up in a fancy suit, investigating my best friend’s murder.”

The typical phrase of ‘seeing gears turning in someone’s head’ was the only way you would describe what you were seeing displayed on Finn’s face right now, just before the realization hit him.

“Wait, your father’s one of the hot FBI agents?”

You pursed your lips and nodded.

Finn blinked in disbelief.

“Wow,” He breathed out.

“Yup.” You said, popping the ‘p’. “Just got a lot less hot, huh?”

Finn raised his hands in surrender and shook his head. “For my own safety, I’m really not gonna answer that.”

You let out a laugh and playfully shoved him with your shoulder.

“Idiot.”

Finn grinned. “You love me.”

You hummed. “You’re right, I really do.”

A long while later, the door closed behind you again with a click.

Finn had to promise you to get in touch with you if he felt the need to, and to at least try and keep his room in order. After a brief conversation of how his view of himself and his ‘need to call you’ was very different from yours, you had hugged him and decided to leave.

Before you had walked out, your hand had rested on the handle, and you had turned around to Finn, not quite looking him in the eye.

“You know I love you too, right?” You had said. “No matter what happens.”

Finn frowned, but if he got suspicious, he didn’t mention it. “I know. Same here.”

You swallowed and nodded.

Then you left the room.

Now you were standing outside of his door, gaze drifting into the distance, and the same weight that had been lifted off your shoulders replaced by another one, just as heavy.

Funny, how, even if indirectly, saying your Goodbyes, made the lingering presence of death looming over you like a dark shadow much more real. If only one thing went wrong tonight, then-

You shook your head at the thought. No, Sam and Dean were going to take care of it, they promised. You had to put their trust into them with this.

But if tonight really was it, then you were content with the feeling that the last conversation you had, had been with Finnegan Beckett.

The walk back to your room stretched longer than usual.

Sooner than you would like it to, the sun disappeared behind the hills and night reigned over the land.

Sam and Dean were standing in your room, rehearsing their – honestly, pretty vague – plan with you, making sure you knew exactly how everything would go down. To be fair, you didn’t really play a big part in the whole thing, but it was nice having some sort of reassurance.

“Alright, so you know what to do?” Sam questioned once again.

Slowly, you nodded your head. “Lay still and look pretty,” you joked. “And try not to get killed.”

“Leave that last part to us,” said Dean. “You don’t have to worry about anything. By the time you wake up, everything will be over.”

You nodded.

You had seen it in Dean’s eyes, that he wasn’t all in with the idea of using you as bait, but you had done it nevertheless.

You weren’t a little child anymore, especially not his, he wasn’t going to decide what you wanted or not wanted to risk.

You took a deep breath that lifted your shoulders and huffed it back out. You were going to do this. It was easy.

—

Like hell it was.

Whoever told you you had the easiest part of the plan had been fucking lying to you. Turns out, sleeping is way harder with the knowledge of probable death hanging over your head like a dark cloud.

Every time your eyes slipped closed, a glimpse of doubt squeezed its way into your mind. What if Sam and Dean didn’t make it? What if everything went wrong? What if, in the end, you did die?

The sheets were already pooling crumbled by your feet when you slipped out of consciousness.

The mass of hot bodies pressing together and towering over you was clamming. A figure was running away from you, you were chasing after it. You smelt old leather and gunpowder. It made you feel comforted. You wanted more of it.

Gravel clattered underneath your boots as you got out of the car on your own, like all the big girls would.

“Look, Daddy!” But Daddy wasn’t there.

“Come on, I’ll help you.” There she was again, the nice girl with the black hair. She held out her hand and you went to grab it, her warm presence looming you in, and then the floor opened up under your feet and you were falling into nothingness.

Your heart pounded rapidly in your chest, as you startled awake in your bed, feeling your lungs tighten up and making it hard to breathe.

Your panicked gaze flew to the door of your room – wide open, the light of the hall casting a dim shadow into the room.

“Wha- Sam! Dean!” Hastily, you pulled the covers off your body and hurried out the door. Something must have gone wrong, terribly, terribly wrong.

You followed the sound of footsteps and scuffle down the hallway, turned the lights on where it had gone off at a few junctions.

Your breathing was still shallow, but you pushed through that and your still dazing mind, adrenaline pumping through your veins with every step you took.

Rapidly turning around another corner, you almost stumbled over the long legs of Sam’s body on the floor. You came to an abrupt halt and kneeled worried next to him.

“Sam? Oh my God, are you-“

Sam groaned and moved his head, eyes still pressed shut. “’s strong,” he babbled, and you tried your hardest to understand what he was saying.

By the way he was slurring his words, you had well reason to think he had suffered a concussion.

“It’s alright, stay here,” you ordered him, as he tried to sit up.

Only then, you first noticed the struggling noises a few feet away from you, and lifted your eyes away from Sam to check where they were coming from.

What you saw almost made your heart drop into your stomach.

Not that far away from you, maybe a few armlengths, was Dean, laying on the floor on his back just like his brother. But he was wrestling with something sitting on his chest, something small and hairy, hunchbacked like an old witch but only with the size of a cat.

The thing, which had to be the Alp, had long, bony limbs, and was fighting tooth and nail, hissing, biting and scratching, against Dean.

It reminded you of a gremlin, of sorts.

In your head, you heard Roy’s voice scold you, “There’s a distinct difference between all supernatural creatures. Elves don’t equal fairies, and gremlins don’t equal goblins, because while gremlins are fuzzy and cute in the beginning and only bad later when they turn, goblins have always been known for harassing humans.”

Alright, so no gremlin then.

Near you, Dean was still rolling around on the floor, fighting for the upper hand with the Alp.

Your heart sped up as you realized that something had to be wrong. Because why wasn’t he just killing it?

“So how do you kill it?”

Sam pulled something out of his duffel bag and turned it in his hands, the dim light of your lamp reflecting on the material. “Silver dagger dipped in vampire blood.” He spoke.

“Wait – vampires bleed?”

Dean scoffed. “This isn’t Twilight, kiddo. Yes, vampires bleed.”

You shrugged and inspected the phial he had laid into your hand. “I was thinking more of Fear Street, but alright.”

Dean ignored that he didn’t know what that was, but made a mental note to look it up later.

Sam stuffed the dagger back into his arsenal.

“You don’t have to worry about that part, though,” He assured you. “That’s what we’re here for.”

Dean nodded. “He’s right. You just dream sweet, and we’ll handle the rest. Fool-proof.”

You nodded, passing Dean the blood back. You could only hope they were right.

The shining silver of the dagger caught your eye. It had most likely been scattered away from Dean and landed near a wall, far out of his reach.

You took quick steps over to pick it up, Dean’s struggling grunts making you alert, and probably the reason why you didn’t think about what you did next, you just did it.

The silver dagger felt light in your hands, coated in the dark fluid of what had to be vampire blood. The blade reflected the clinical white light from the hallway as you lifted it up over your head, and, using the strength of both your hands, pushed it with force into the monster’s upper torso.

The squelching sound it made, as it penetrated bristly fur, skin, and organs, would later make you feel repulsed and gagging, sort of like nails scratching on a blackboard, but in this moment, you just clenched the dagger tighter and pushed it further into the monster’s chest.

The screech it let out could not be compared to any animalistic sounds you had ever heard before. In a swift move, you pulled the weapon out of the Alp’s body, and the small creature slumped to the floor right next to Dean.

You waited for a second. Two, three panting breaths. Dean was the first to move. He put a hand somewhere where the thing’s neck should be.

Then, swallowing in-between his hard breaths, he nodded. “Done,” was all he said. But it was enough for a sigh of relief to leave your tired lungs, and you sunk to the ground right next to him.

Looking closer at its lifeless body, the Alp had more similarity with one of those dead, stuffed animals that hunters hung in their houses as trophies. But maybe that was just rigor mortis.

Through your haze, you barely registered Dean clapping a firm hand on your shoulder. You turned your head to look at him, eyes suddenly feeling heavy as the adrenaline was wearing off. Like sucking air out of a balloon.

“You did good today, kid.” He said, and though you were tired, in his eyes you could see that he meant it. It filled your chest with a warmth that hadn’t been at home in there since … God knows when, and it made you smile.

Near you, Sam staggered closer, still holding his hurting ribs, and tilted his head as he squinted his eyes at the lifeless Alp before you.

“Is it just me or does it … look like a cat?”

You and Dean both looked over at him, and then at the dead monster on the floor.

“Looks more like a gremlin-goblin hybrid,” You panted. “A gromblin.”

Sam threw you a look of pure confusion, while Dean was grinning proudly. You smiled back. It felt honest.

And very likely, it was.

-- It was quiet again.

From the fight and struggles a few days ago was no trace left, as you stood by your desk and sorted through some old photographs you had replaced on your wall.

The pictures you were sorting through mostly showed you, Finn, Roy and Cass together.

At school, at the movies, going out to eat.

You sighed and plucked some tape from the back of another one.

Right at that moment, a knock sounded from your door. Without even looking up from Cass and Roy smiling at you, holding a stray cat, you let out a “Come in,” at the person on the other side of the door.

The familiar sound of the hinges creaking signified the opening and closing of the door. And then, Dean Winchester was standing in your room.

“Uhm …” He was rubbing his neck awkwardly, as you looked at him expectantly.

“Hey. What’s up?” You asked, and put the photographs in a drawer.

Dean took a deep breath and looked at you. He wasn’t wearing the same casual clothes as he had been that terrible night, but had settled on his FBI suit again. Maybe for effect.

“Look, I was just-“ Dean fumbled for a second and then took a seat on the small chair that was standing around. “We should talk. This time for real.”

You tilted your head, and avoided looking at him.

Dean didn’t wait for any response, he simply kept talking. Maye rambling.

“I know I already tried, but it wasn’t my best, so I …” He sighed.

“I never explained anything to you. why things went down how they did. Y/N, please look at me.”

You had sat down in your deskchair, pulling your legs to your chest and now did your best to fix your eyes on Dean.

“What we do, the hunting … it’s no way to grow up for a child. I know how that is. And I never, ever, wanted that for you. I already had plans to end things sooner than they did, but then ..” He shook his head. “Didn’t work out. So, when Bobby died, I saw no other chance than to get you somewhere else. And I took that chance to just … remove you from my life, as hard as it was.”

“But I promise you, Y/N, it was all just to keep you safe. I never would’ve done it if there had been another way. And I wanted you to know that.”

Dean stood on his feet again and placed the chair back on its original spot. You looked away as he reached for the door handle, to get out of your life, again.

“So you’re just gonna leave? Again?” Your words were accusing and they were meant to be that way, but still you almost felt bad, as Dean dropped his hand by his side and let out a sigh.

“Like I said, it was for the best. Still is, in my opinion.”

“What, to remove me from your life again?” You jumped out of your chair, fury burning in your eyes and voice growing louder with every word you spoke.

“Y/N, you don’t get it-“

“No, you don’t get it!” You jelled at him. What was burning in your eyes were now more tears than anger, but it didn’t matter.

“For years, I’ve been trying to … to figure out what I did wrong. For years, I’ve been trying to do better, every day, I wanted to be better, because I thought —. I thought that if I had good grades, and if I started working out, and if I was always on my best behavior … I thought that you would come and get me. But somehow you never did. And I just … I don’t understand, I want you to tell me, what did I do wrong, what made you leave, because I swear, I’ll change. I’ll change, and I’ll work on it, just please…” A begging undertone accompanied your tear-choked words. “Don’t leave me here again.”

Wordlessly, Dean quickly crossed the room and put his arms around you. it took you a second to realize what was even happening, before you clung to his suit jacket, digging all your strength into it, as if the fabric was the only think that kept you from drowning in black water.

You felt the shadow of warmth, as Dean turned his head to press a featherlight kiss into your hair.

“I regret having to leave you.” He murmured next to your ear. “But what I do not regret is keeping you safe. Even if that meant leaving you.”

You sniffled, and pulled away from him. Dean’s own face wasn’t full of fresh tear stains, but still you could see the sincerity and something like sadness on his features.

You wiped your cheeks to clean them off the drying liquids.

“I’m older now,” You said, and Dean scoffed, already knowing where this was headed. “No, please, listen to me! I’m older, I can make my own choices, take my own risks. You saw how great I was a few days ago!”

“Yes, but that was one monster!” Dean countered. “Out there, there are hundreds of those things. We don’t get enough sleep, no nice food, not even nice beds! Trust me, Y/N, compared to this-“ he gestured around your room, “what we do has nothing on it.”

You shook your head. “But you’re together when you do it. You and Sam. And I just want that, I want to be with you.”

Dean sighed and took a step back.

“Please, Dean, I’m begging you!” You urged. “You said you never wanted to come back here, but now you had to, I mean – don’t you think that’s some sort of … sign or something?”

“I don’t believe in signs.”

“Well, screw signs, I’m here!” You pointed to yourself. Your voice was desperate, but so were you.

“I am here, and I want you to take me with you.” And in a whisper, you repeated, “Please, Dean, this time – let me come with you.”

For a moment, nothing happened.

Then, Dean heavily sighed and pulled the chair closer to him to sit down.

The church bells were tolling a loud, fast tune. It was ironic, you thought, and you didn’t know if you should cry or laugh about it.

You watched as two dark caskets were lowered down into the earth, into two separate 6-feet deep holes right next to each other.

The gravestones had not yet been prepared, but you didn’t exactly need those anyway. If the huge pictures were any indicator on who was getting buried here.

This was your last time saying Goodbye. To Cass and to Roy, and, unfortunately, to the last one remaining.

Funerals weren’t for the dead, you had once read somewhere, they were for the living, for those seeking closure in their desperate times of grief.

You had thought it to be bullshit, what difference would a burial make in a journey of overcoming the loss of someone so important?

But, as you threw a full hand of dark earth onto each of the dark caskets, you somehow understood. It was one weight less.

They were still here, some part of them. Something you could always come back to, they hadn’t just vanished off the back off the earth. That thought was, indeed, comforting.

Damn life lessons that are right.

“Hey,” you suddenly heard a voice next to you, and were a bit surprised to see Finn standing there.

You had been too lost in your own thoughts to even notice him approaching. The lack of sleep probably didn’t help your attention skills much, either.

“Hey,” you answered.

“Look, I need to tell you something,” you started, just at the same time as Finn said, “I know what you wanna say.”

Both of you let out quiet laughs.

“You first,” He said.

You took a deep breath and avoided looking at him, scanning the gravestones before you as if you had known everyone buried under them personally.

“Sam and Dean,” you started, “I mean, they’ve been here for a while and honestly, I never even thought I’d see them again. So I never really thought about what would happen if they would just – show up, you know?”

Interesting, Peter Gravill only lived to be 57 years old.

“But now they’re here, and I just-“

“I get it.” Finn suddenly interrupted you. Your head whirled around so fast you were afraid you were gonna get whiplash.

At your confused look, he added, “I mean, if my parents suddenly showed up on my doorstep and gave me the option of going with them –“ he shrugged his shoulders. “-I would most definitely take it.”

Before you could even think about it, you already lunged forwards and wrapped your arms around his body, burying your face in his neck and holding him tightly.

The hot feeling of tears burned behind your eyes, but you managed to put them away. You pulled Finn even closer.

“Everything’s gonna be alright, kid.”

“You’re still younger than me.”

“I don’t care. I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

The hug lasted endless, but endless went by way too quickly. You fixed Finn’s suit jacket, apologized for the tear- and make-up stains you had gotten on the expensive material, and waved him a last Goodbye.

Down by the parking lot, a black car was already waiting for you, two adult men leaning against it. They had been watching the entire thing go down from a safe distance, not wanting to interfere in either the funeral, or the emotional Goodbyes.

Sam tried not to think about what laid ahead of them, or behind them, as his niece walked towards them, away from the graves of her best friends, and leaving the only one that was still alive, behind.

His niece. How long hadn’t he said that title, let alone thought it.

He liked the familiarity of it. The rightness.

Dean opened a creaking car door for you, as you reached them.

“You ready?” He asked.

Sam could see your shoulders tighten, as you lifted your chin, and looked his brother straight in the eye.

“Yeah.”

Dean nodded, and you got in the backseat. He slammed the car door closed behind you. With one last look at his younger brother, Dean rounded Baby and took his place as the driver, Sam claiming shotgun.

Behind them, you leaned your head against the window as the engine roared and you drove off.

The car smelt like leather and gunpowder. It made you feel comforted.

And in the backseat of an old 1967 Chevy Impala, listening to the music that was a mix of Metallica, Kansas and Billy Joel, you slept the best night’s sleep you had had in weeks.

taglist:

@psycho-magnotheric-slime , @openmindedperson2200 , @emily-roberts

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janicho88 · 10 months

Text

When It All Falls Apart- Chapter 5

Pairing- Jensen x Padalecki Reader

Word count- 5,709

Warnings- Some language. Jensen isn't the best boyfriend. I warned before this started posting it would contain angst, if you need another reminder, here it is. If I missed something let me know!

A/N-You all knew this part was coming sooner or later, some of you even called for it. Starting with this chapter, we'll start to see things from Jensen's side also. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural. Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns. Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right? While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere. Distance is only the start of your troubles.

Series Masterlist

Jensen takes the rare opportunity to sleep in Sunday morning and is the last one down to breakfast. His sister and her husband Jeremy have already arrived and are sitting at the table with his parents.

“Did someone have a late night?” Mackenzie teases him.

“Not too bad. Just taking advantage of catching up on some sleep,” he answers with a yawn.

“What did you and Y/N do yesterday?” his mom asks him.

“I didn’t see her yesterday. I was meeting with Steve, and we had a few people to go see. Trying to work out deals for a project.”

“What did she do then?” his mom tries again.

“Not a clue, I didn’t talk to her yesterday. I was kind of busy. Why the sudden interest in her day?”

He is filling his coffee cup and doesn’t see the looks exchanged around the table.

“Is everything alright with you two?” His dad questions.

“It’s fine.”

“Yeah, sounds like it,” he doesn’t hear his sister mutter.

Josh and his family arrive after breakfast, while Jensen is upstairs showering. He misses the kids and his brother coming in to wish his dad a ‘Happy Father’s Day.’ When Jensen comes back down everyone is sitting in the living room with the kids playing in the middle of the floor. He takes his phone out to take a picture of his nephews and notices a missed text from Gen, making a note to read it later, he snaps a few shots of the boys.

His family asks him questions about work, and what he has been up to. He inquires about each of them. They grill out for a late lunch before he has to leave for the airport. His mom walks out to the rental car with him.

“You’re sure everything is alright? You aren’t hiding something so we won’t worry?”

“No, it’s all fine mom.”

“Even with Y/N?”

“Yeah. I do have to get going to catch my flight. It was good to see all of you.”

“I’m glad you could make it home, even for a short visit. Your dad enjoyed seeing all of you for Father’s Day.”

He’s double checking his suitcase for his passport and not really listening to his mom at the moment, “Yeah, sure I’ll try and make it home then.”

“What?” Donna asks.

Finding his passport, Jensen stands to give his mom one last hug. “Good to see all of you. Take care, love you ma.”

While sitting on the plane waiting for the rest of the passengers to load, Jensen takes out his phone and lazily scrolls through it. He remembers the message he missed from Gen early and opens that conversation, checking the date, he sees it is actually from yesterday.

‘Did you forget something today Ackles?????????????’

“I don’t know Gen, did I forget something?” he mutters to himself, while just replying with question marks of his own.

Next he pulls up Instagram, it takes him a moment to realize he is seeing multiple posts about Father’s Day.

‘It’s not Father’s Day,’ he thinks to himself, ‘that’s not until the middle of June.”

There is a voice over the intercom telling all passengers to turn off electronics before Jensen has a chance to think more about the holiday or the date. He goes over the next script for ‘The Boys’ and notes from the meetings with Steve the day before, never giving the date another thought.

Your Sunday is spent with your parents and Jared’s family. You and Gen get up to make a big breakfast for everyone. Tom has homemade cards for his dad and grandpa he places on the table. Your mom comes down, and helps the two of you finish it all up.

Jared and your dad take Tom out to the park for some male bonding time after breakfast. Gen, your mom and yourself move to the living room.

While they are talking babies you excuse yourself to go for a walk. You are hoping it will help all the thoughts running around your head. You pass Jensen’s house and pause. You can’t help but think that he has already started to move on without you. You’re the one who just hasn’t caught up with the times yet.

On Monday, Jared and Gen have meetings for Walker, so you are hanging out with Tom. You are used to working twelve to fourteen hour days on set, but somehow this little man wears you out more than those do. The two of you play outside on the swing set, he has you chase him during a long game of tag, you’re in the pool and back inside rolling toy cars around on the floor. When your sister-in-law returns you happily hand your nephew back.

Jensen is on set Tuesday, when Jack is talking to some of the other cast members about his parents’ visit over the weekend.

“They haven’t been to Toronto in awhile and decided to use visiting for Father’s Day as an excuse to come up this weekend.”

“If they were coming for Father’s Day, why did they come this past weekend?” Jensen asks him.

A few people turn and look at him. “Father’s Day was this past weekend,” Chase tells him.

“No, it wasn’t, it couldn’t have been.”

Others are also confirming this. Jensen doesn’t have his phone with him, or his watch on.

“What’s the date?” he asks his cast mates.

“21st of June. Everything all right mate?” Karl asks sitting across the board from him.

“Son of a bitch,” Jensen yells out, “I missed Y/N’s birthday. It was the 18th.”

He gets up from his chair to head to his trailer where his phone is to call you, but is called to set before he has the chance to get very far. It’s after 2 am before they wrap for the night, he’s beat just going straight home and falling asleep.

He forgot to set his alarm before collapsing in bed, when he rolls over Wednesday morning and looks at the clock he has to move it. He has maybe ten minutes before he needs to be leaving the apartment for set.

Once he arrives he is sent straight to hair and makeup before being ushered to wardrobe. His PA takes his bag back to his trailer for him. When they break for lunch he is in the middle of a discussion with Karl and Anthony that completely distracts him. He makes a quick stop by his trailer before he has to be back on set. Pulling his phone out of his bag he sees a missed call from you.

“Son of a bitch, I still haven’t talked to her,” he growls out. He tries calling back, but just reaches your voicemail. He hangs up and throws his phone back in the bag before returning to set.

Wednesday, you finally relent and call Jensen. He never has time to talk long so you make the call on your way to the studio to redo some voice over work for the Netflix show that just wrapped. You shouldn’t be surprised that it ends up going straight to voicemail. The plane ticket you received for your birthday is to fly out Friday morning, you figure you should probably tell Jensen you are coming up. Who knows, maybe just showing up would actually get you some time with him. Leaving your phone in the car you walk into the studio.

Coming back to your car two hours later, you check your phone for messages before leaving the parking lot. You have to reread the name when you see you have a missed call from Jensen, it’s rare he calls you back this quick lately or even at all. Hitting the call button you once again get his voicemail, this time you leave a message.

“Hey Jay, I just wanted to tell you Jared and Gen got me a ticket to fly up to Toronto. I’ll be landing around 2:30 Friday afternoon. I’ll talk to you later, have a good day.”

Getting back to your brother’s place you are busy the rest of the night. The two of them went out with a friend of Gen’s and you volunteered to watch Tom. The little man has a lot of energy to burn tonight. When you finally get him down, you start going through clothes in your room to take with you this weekend.

In Toronto, Jensen has finally wrapped for the night. Today’s scenes were a bit…well, what one would come to expect from The Boys. There is a knock on his trailer door as he’s finishing changing out of his costume. Chase and Jack are on the other side.

“Hey, we’re going out with Karl for a drink after that mess. You in?”

“Definitely, let me grab my bag,” he tells them.

One drink turns into a couple and they are out for a few hours. In the cab on the way back to his place, Jensen pulls out his phone to check his call time for the next day. Seeing a voicemail message, he tells himself he’ll listen to it tomorrow when he’s in better shape. Clearing the notification he checks his calendar before turning off the phone.

Thursday has a noon call time, and sees them filming until two in the morning on location. It was almost four am before he got to bed. Walking up after ten the next morning he has a new voicemail notification. He listens to the call from the director on a schedule change for the weekend. Because Eric is going to be in town for a few days and they want the big man on set for the shooting of certain scenes, they are going to be moved up to this weekend.

Then his phone tells him he has a missed message. “Who'd I miss?” he mumbles to himself. When he hears your message, his eyes go wide in surprise, “crap.”

Just as he’s hanging up from the voicemail, the phone rings with your name popping up.

“Hey pretty girl,”

“Hi Jay, how are you?”

“Fine, tired. I just got your message. Are you sure you really want to?”

He hears the tired sigh you let out, “I’m at the airport, waiting for the plane. If you don’t want me to come up there, tell me now.”

“I don’t know how much time I’ll have to spend with you.”

“We aren’t spending any time together currently, whatever I can get this weekend is better than that.” You just hear him groan over the line. “If you want me to call Jared to come pick me back up I will.”

“No. When do you get in?”

“The plane’s scheduled to land around 2:40, then I have to clear customs.”

“I have to be on set, I’m not going to be able to meet you.”

“Okay, I can take a cab over to the studio.”

“No, just come back to the apartment. I’ll leave a spare key in an envelope with the receptionist,” he tells you.

“Okay. See you soon. Love you.”

“Yeah, love ya.”

His head falls back against the pillow as he hangs up. His easy weekend is now going to be a bit more complicated.

At the airport in Austin, you sit back against the hard seat with a sigh. This was off to a rocky start and the plane hasn’t even boarded yet. Thankfully the flight itself was an easy one. After making your way through customs you exit the building to try and find a cab.

When you arrive at his apartment building, you need to show your ID in order to pick up the envelope he left with the key. The doorman shows you up, at least Jensen remembered to tell him you were coming before he left.

Opening the apartment door, you take a look around. It’s fairly empty, but you shouldn’t be surprised. Jensen is only going to have this place a few months. You take your suitcase down the hall, you think this is the way to the bedroom. It’s the second door you try. There is a photo of you and Jensen on his nightstand, it gives you some hope seeing it there. Taking a few things out of your bag, you then explore the apartment. It’s a little bit of a mess, so you spend some time tidying it up. The fridge is empty, so you go down to inquire about the nearest grocery store. It isn’t too far away, so you decide to walk over. With your hands full, you take a cab back to the apartment.

There are a few items to put away in the cupboard, you make a few meals to freeze that Jensen can thaw later, then prepare pasta, salad and bread for dinner. All this time you haven’t heard a word from Jay, not even checking that you made it in alright. You send a text asking if he knows how late he’ll be working, but don’t receive a response.

By eight, you fix yourself a plate for dinner and eat alone at the table. Putting the rest away, you curl up on the couch, and find a movie on Netflix. It’s after eleven when the door opens and Jensen finally comes in. Getting up from the couch, you go over to greet him.

“Hey honey,” you say before leaning up to kiss him.

“Hi babe.” He gives you a quick kiss before pulling away. “I need a shower.”

He rejoins you in the living room ten minutes later, sitting next to you on the couch.

“There’s some pasta in the fridge, if you would like me to heat some up for you?”

“I’m good, we ate on set.”

“Okay. Do you have anything going on tomorrow?”

“I’ve got a 10 am call time. Should go till 8 or so.”

You just nod in response. It’s been awhile since you’ve had his arm wrapped around you, and you are just going to enjoy that for now. The movie on the screen ends and you suggest going to bed hoping to feel more than his arm around your shoulders tonight.

You come out of the bathroom ready for bed in a new lace chemise, and find your boyfriend sound asleep. Grabbing one of his old t-shirts from your bag, you turn around to go back to change.

The next morning Jensen is up before you are. You find him out at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee and what looks like a script.

“Morning, do you want breakfast before you leave?”

“No, I already had something. But thanks.”

“Can I come to set with you today? Hang out in between scenes with you?”

“No, they don’t like other people on set. Don’t want any secrets getting out.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. I guess I’ll go explore the city then. Text me when you’re done, we can maybe grab a late dinner somewhere?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Do you film tomorrow?”

“No, it’s just going over some choreography for fight scenes on Tuesday.”

“So it should be a shorter day?”

“Hopefully. Chase, Karl and I have a tee time at 2.”

“Great.” You’re only here for a few days, but getting a round of golf in takes precedence apparently.

Once Jensen leaves for work you pull out your phone to find something to entertain yourself with today. You decide to start the day at Ripley’s Aquarium of Canada.

The tour of the aquarium takes you first to the Dangerous Lagoon overlook. There you see sharks, turtles, eels and sawfish. A sign says it is the largest exhibit at the aquarium, and has around 2.9 million liters of water. From there you enter the Discovery Center which has interactive exhibits and features Zebra and Blacktip Reef Sharks along with Clownfish. The Canadian Waters and Kelp Forest are next where you see octopus, lobsters, Cod, Wolf Eel, and Paddlefish.

On the lower level of the aquarium you see the Rainbow Reef which recreates the coral seas of the Pacific. Planet Jellies has various breeds of jellyfish. The Ray-Bay is home to five types of stingrays and the Bonnethead Shark. A sign says that back on the main level you can pet the rays at the top of the tank.

Back up top, you stroll through the gallery area next. This is home to Electric Eels, Seahorses, Piranhas, Pufferfish and Mudskippers. A quick tour of the gift shop and you are on your way out.

The aquarium is right near the base of the CN Tower. Being so close, you couldn’t pass that up. The tower was completed in 1976 and stands 1,815.5 feet tall.

Getting off the elevators at the observation level you are currently 1,136 feet off the ground. The glass floor lets you look to the ground 114 stories below. You go up to the Skypod which is 33 stories above the main observation level. It is the highest observation platform in the Western Hemisphere. You can see all the way to New York and Niagara Falls from here. You can also feel the building swaying a lot more up here. You hear a guide mention the antenna above the Skypods gets hit by lightning an average of 75 times a year. The mix of the swaying and lightning are enough to send you back down to ground level.

You grab a light lunch and walk over to High Park to sit and enjoy it. Finishing your lunch you take a walk down one of the nature trails. Walking alone your thoughts drift to Jensen. Once again today, you haven’t heard from him at all. You are right here in his town and he can’t seem to spare you any time.

That afternoon you end up strolling through the CF Toronto Eaton Centre Mall. It is a huge shopping center with more than 250 stores. In your current mood nothing there really grabs your attention.

By seven you are on your way back to Jensen’s apartment to get cleaned up to have dinner with him. At 8:30 you send a text asking if he was going to be getting off soon. Almost an hour later, you receive a reply.

Jensen 💗-On my way back

You-Do you still want to go out and grab dinner?

Jensen💗-No

Alrighty then. You pull leftovers out of the fridge and start warming them up for dinner. When he walks in, you just about have everything ready to go.

“Hey honey, if you want to shower first, dinner is almost ready.”

“I already ate.”

“What?”

“It was a rough shoot, I went out and grabbed a drink with Karl, Jack and Anthony. We ordered some food there.”

He heads off to the bathroom, and you just stare after him. “Well thanks for telling me,” you mutter after him.

No longer hungry you put everything away once more. Entering the bedroom you change into sweats and sit down on the corner of the couch. It isn’t long until Jensen returns, he collapses in the middle of the couch.

“What a day. Anything Kripke was unable to throw at us during Supernatural is sure finding its way out now.”

“Hmm.”

“This season is going to be so sick.”

You don’t respond, just keep your eyes straight ahead on the television.

“What’s your problem?” He turns his head to look at you.

“What’s going on with us?” you ask.

“What do you mean?”

“I feel like I don’t matter to you any more. We rarely talk anymore.”

“We’re talking right now, or I was trying to but you’re ignoring me.”

“I thought we were going to do something tonight, but you went out with your friends while I was waiting for you. You could have at least let me know what was going on.”

“It’s been a long couple of days, I don’t want to fight with you. I’m going to bed.”

You watch him leave, biting your lip, you rest your head back against the couch trying not to cry. That did not go the way you wanted it to at all. Going into the extra bedroom you grab a folded blanket off the unmade bed, and bring it back to the couch, planning on sleeping there tonight. The television keeps you company, while your mind replays everything.

The next morning, the sound of cupboard doors slamming around wakes you up. Stretching as you sit up, you notice Jensen moving around the kitchen. He looks over at you when he sees you move, but doesn’t say anything. He leaves a short time later.

You don’t feel like doing much of anything today. You hang out around the apartment watching Hallmark. Why does everything always work out for them?

Around four, you get a text from Jensen that says he has something with the cast. Another night alone, fabulous. Why did you even bother coming? Changing into presentable clothes you head out to find some food, getting into the elevator you are shocked at who you see.

“Eric, hi.”

“Y/N, how are you? I wasn’t sure if you were in town or not this weekend.”

“Yeah, I just got in on Friday, staying a few days. Doing alright, how are you?

“Good, are you coming to dinner?”

“What?”

“A bunch of the crew is going for dinner. Aren’t you going to meet Ackles? I’ll give you a lift.”

His phone rings and you don’t get a chance to reply. Getting off the elevator you follow him outside, planning to still go off on your own. When the car pulls up, he waves you inside. His phone call lasts almost the whole way to the restaurant, even though he keeps attempting to end it. He is finally able to put it down just before the car pulls into the parking lot.

“Sorry about that. Everything is a huge problem to some of the network execs. Talking with Jared, I thought you were going to be here this weekend, but then I never saw you around set with Jensen.”

“He told me I couldn’t come with him. Are you sure I can be here tonight? Jensen didn’t invite me.”

“I would have let you on set, no problem. Yes, you are more than welcome to join us tonight. Have you met anyone yet?”

“Just Karl.”

You follow him through the restaurant, when he arrives at the large table he calls out, “look who I found on my way here.”

Your eyes are on Jensen who has Claudia’s arm around his shoulders as she is whispering in his ear.

“Hey!” Karl yells, “where have you been hiding?”

He gets up to give you a hug, Jensen gives you a questioning look, while everyone else just stares. Eric looks around the table and asks a passing waiter for one more place setting and chair.

“I’ve been hanging out around the apartment, explored Toronto yesterday,” you finally answer Karl’s question.

“So you come all the way up here, and don’t even visit the set? Should we be hurt?” Karl’s last question is directed at Kripke.

“What are you doing here?” Jensen interrupts them.

“Are you going to introduce us, Eric?” Anthony questions at the same time.

“I ran into Eric in the elevator, and he invited me to come along,” you answer Jensen.

“Why didn’t you bring her?” Eric asks your boyfriend, who just shrugs in response.

“Some of us still don’t know what’s going on,” Jack calls out.

“This is Y/N Padalecki, this lovely lady was Ali Black on Supernatural,” Eric introduces you.

“She also has horrible taste in men, because she’s dating that brute,” Karl tells them as he points to Jensen.

Anthony, Karen, Jack, Erin and Chase all stand up to greet you. A chair is added next to Jensen as everyone but Claudia scoots down to make room for you.

After the group has ordered, Karl looks at you from across the table. “How long are you here for?”

“I have a flight out tomorrow afternoon.”

“We have some fight sequences to finalize in the mornin’, are you coming to tour the set?” He asks.

“I don’t know,” you look over at Jensen, who has remained silent.

As time goes on you notice that Claudia seems to keep touching Jensen, her hand is on her arm, his thigh, and shoulder. ‘Really girl’ you think ‘right in front of me?’

Erin asks about what you have going on now with Supernatural over. You tell her about Walker. Jensen seems agitated next to you, you finally turn and ask if he’s alright. Instead of answering he stands up and nods for you to join him out in the hall.

“I can’t believe you got Eric to bring you along,” Jensen harshly whispers to you.

“It wasn’t my intention, I just ran into him when I got in the elevator.”

“I don’t understand what your problem is.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The attitude you had last night, sleeping on the couch, now putting yourself in the middle of a cast get together. What are you trying to do?”

“When did you become such an asshole? Maybe playing Soldier Boy has gone to your head. If you don’t want me here, and it’s such a big deal to have me here, I’ll leave.”

With that you turn back toward the room to grab your purse. You expect Jensen to stop you, but he never does. The waiter is coming back in and you quietly ask him to cancel your order. Before walking out the door, you turn back to the table.

“It was nice meeting you all. I’m sorry, but I have to be going. Enjoy the rest of your night.” With that you turn and leave.

Eric is right behind you, he can’t get your attention so he grabs your arm once you step outside.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, I just have to go.”

“Y/N, I’ve known you a long time. I can see you’re upset, and you’re barely holding back tears.” He looks around for a moment before spotting a bench. “Come sit down for a minute.”

“I’ll be alright, you should get back inside,” you try to tell him.

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

You know he isn’t going to let go, with a sigh you start talking. “Things with Jensen and I haven’t been going so great lately. He barely answers my calls or texts. I don’t know the last time he even called or texted me to start a conversation. Gen thought it might be good for us if I came up here and we spent some time together. I’ve still barely seen him.”

You take a deep breath to try and get yourself back under control, but you can’t help the tears sliding down your face. “I’m afraid our relationship might have run its course, and I don’t mean anything to him any more. I’m just someone he used to have around because I was convenient.”

“Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry you are feeling like this. I don’t know what’s going on with him, but I know you always meant a lot to him,” Eric tries to comfort you.

“Used to. I can’t keep going like this, the last month has been rough. I tried to talk to him last night and that didn’t go over well. Now he’s mad that I’m here. When things were good with us, he would have been the first one up to give me a hug. He would have been the one introducing me to his new cast mates, not you and Karl. We would have spent any free time he had together, going for a drink or golfing with the guys wouldn’t have been more important.”

“I’m sorry, you don’t deserve to be treated like that,” Eric says softly. You can tell he is a bit out of his comfort zone here.

You nod your head, you know what you have to do and your heart is crumbling into pieces. Turning in your seat you give Eric a hug. “Thanks for everything Eric. Will you do me a favor and keep an eye on him for me?”

“Anything for you. I won’t let him get into too much trouble tonight.”

You bite your lip and wipe the tears off your face, “I don’t just mean tonight.”

It takes Eric a second, but after all you’ve just said, he understands what you mean. “I will, you take care of yourself. He gives you a hug before hailing you a cab and returning inside.

You stare out the window during the ride back to the apartment. When you return you start packing up your things. After your bag is ready you pull out your phone looking for a flight out. You aren’t sure you could make any that are leaving tonight, so you change it to one leaving at 6:10 am. Sitting on the couch you wait for Jensen to return.

Over an hour later he finally walks through the door. You stand up as he sets his keys down on the counter.

“We need to talk,” you tell him. softly

“We do. What were you thinking trying to insert yourself like that? I’m still new here, I can’t have you pushing your way in the middle of things, or asking for special tours around set. What are they going to think?”

“As I told you earlier, I didn’t ask Eric to bring me along, I was going out to find my own dinner and ran into him when I was going to do that. He told me to come along, and that it was alright. Karl asked about me taking a tour, I didn’t push for one.”

“I can’t afford to have you rocking the boat here.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, I’m done. I can’t…I can’t do whatever this has become anymore.” You gesture between the two of you.

That catches Jensen’s attention, and he notices your packed bag next to the couch. “What are you talking about? Where are you going?”

“What I started to try and talk to you about last night. I don’t know what’s happened to us, but I can’t take it anymore. I’ve changed my flight to leave earlier. I feel like I am the only one trying to hold this together anymore. Right now you’re more worried about making a bad impression on people you’ve worked with for a few months, then about me. You barely answer when I call or text you. Any of our limited conversations anymore revolve around you, I doubt you could tell me what I have going on in my life lately.”

“That’s not true, you’re filming that…um…that…”

“The Netflix series? Maid, about a single mom fleeing from abuse and trying to make it with her child. We wrapped a few weeks ago. I told you that in Chicago.”

“You’re getting ready for Walker then.”

“You’re grasping at straws, Jens.”

“I don’t understand why you want to end things? What was the point of coming up here? Was it just to break up? Did you meet someone else?”

You shake your head, not believing what is coming out of his mouth. “I came up here to see if there was any way we could save our relationship. But when spending time with you cast mates, who are here with you everyday, is more important than me who you have barely seen, I have my answer. If you really need an answer to the last question it’s no. Honestly, going by all the pictures online, and dinner tonight, I should be the one asking that. But I know you better than that. At least I used to.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know when I became so unimportant to you, something that could just be tossed aside when I wasn’t useful.”

He looks at you in shock. “That’s not true and you know it.”

“I really don’t, not anymore. With everything going on in your life, there isn’t time for me. A backseat is okay once in a while, but it’s not a place I’m willing to stay.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your career is really taking off, and I can’t keep up with everything. We don’t even live in the same county anymore. I just don’t fit in your life anymore, and I deserve better than what I’m getting.”

“Everything I do is for us.”

“You really going with that? After how you treated me this weekend? How you’ve been treating me the last few months?”

“Any girl would be happy to be in your place.”

“I don’t know when you became this self absorbed asshole, but that’s not the guy I fell in love with, the guy I planned my future with. I’m sorry Jensen, but I can’t take the hurt and loneliness that have come from this relationship anymore. I don’t want to cry myself to sleep over us another night, or wonder when you’re going to feel like talking to me again.”

“After everything I did for us, if you think it’s really so bad to be dating me, then there is no reason to drag this out,” he spits out, his anger rising. “Make sure to be out of the house before I get back to Texas.”

You give a small shake of your head, “if you knew how things were going with me. You would know I’ve been staying at my brother’s house because I wasn’t comfortable alone in yours. I don’t have much left there, it will be out soon.”

You grab your bag and head for the door, stopping before you open it. “I did love you, you meant the world to me. I told Jared no matter what happens between us, I didn’t want it to affect your friendship. I wish you the best Jens, and I really am happy for you and everything that’s coming your way. I just wish there was still room for me in your world.” Taking one last look at your now ex, you quickly exit the apartment.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 6