#jesus flow

[simulation-error]

fields of dreamless solitude

Have you ever did a full color art only to realize it looks better without most of it? The idea I wanted to show is that the hex-corruption on the outside of Mage-Viktor's cloak is probably 'cause he spends so much time by this Jayce's side 😭 search tag: art-edit-vid

[rowanisawriter]

some talk of you and me

teia/viago - on/off relationship study - 4k words

.

“Teia,” he says, tongue loosened by her presence, always a risk, always a danger. Like poison. Subtle. Unnoticed. One moment, he is on his own and on his guard. The next, a Cantori in his bed, her hair on his face, the smell of vanilla sinking into the very walls of his room. “Stay.”

She bristles at the order so plainly given, propping herself up on her elbow. The soft movement of her breasts pulling his attention. His hand moves on its own to trace the curves. She lets him. “Why?” she asks.

Why indeed. Many times he has asked himself the same question and only come up with a jumble of emotion in response, in his own mind, once orderly and organized, now a chaotic mess. The smell of her hair weaving in and out of his consciousness at all times. Asleep. Awake. At work. While touching poison to his own lips to create some kind of resistance. If only he could have known there is no resistance from this, the worst, most insidious poison. Love. Love. Love.

Teia and Viago, on and off and on and off throughout act 1.

[feastingonchrist]

you guys it was maybe a month ago i was SOBBING to God, not once but twice that week because i was struggling terribly with my social skills and feeling so insecure and embarrassed. I felt like i lost all my progress i had made over the past few years. to now in the past weeks i have felt so much more confident while talking to people, even people at work i barely even know and multiple people have told me they can see my personality coming through/i'm like a new person. that has blown me away!!! He is literally bringing me to life. ALL I DID WAS BEGIN GOING TO CHURCH AND ALL OF THESE THINGS HAVE BEEN POURED OUT UPON ME! i decided to try and not overthink how i'm coming across and what i'm going to say and it's released the pressure off of me. i've surrendered that to God to handle because i didn't want to deal with it anymore and He has been taking care of it so fast. my confidence has grown so much in the shortest amount of time ever in my life. like He really meets me in the darkest places and soon after begins to move and renews my mind and Spirit and attitude and perspective on things. He has been in the process of helping me move through fear as i walk into it but continues to deliver me out of it into a better place. He is helping me with my endurance and it's made me to trust in Him in deeper ways. i've begun delighting in Him with tenderness and am soaking in His peace and it's been grounding. like i've entered a new layer of peace with Him and my gosh it's so gentle and tangible and i just want to stay there forever in that Presence sometimes. my spiritual discipline isn't the greatest at times and He's getting me there (Psalm 23:1-2 moment.) But my goodness it's wild to have gone from believing in Christ but not putting my faith to action to now doing exactly that and i have just been receiving blessing after blessing - whether it's spiritual (seeing grace everywhere) or relational (just people loving me like Jesus or enjoying my job and adoring going to church and talking to people every week as i practice my social skills.) I say this all the time "idk why all of a sudden He's decided to start blessing me in these ways and what did i do to deserve it?" i know i did nothing and that He has always loved me right where i'm at but it's interesting as i follow the patterns of these past few months and i can't help but wonder if it's all because i have been taking steps of faith into the unknown and it's tested my trust in Him and endurance in those "dim mirrors" as Paul would say which has brought me into closer communion with Christ and i've been able to "see more clearly" and understand things on a deeper spiritual level. idk but ugh HE IS SO GOOD I AM CONSTANTLY TOUCHED AND HE IS JUST DOING GREAT THINGS WITHIN ME AND THE OTHERS AROUND ME. I wish i could talk ab these things without sounding repetitive but i swear He is doing these things and having me learn them/lessons over and over again to show me that i can trust Him and work things out of me to bring the new in. i really do love Him so much my gosh i really do. This is the best season of my entire walk with Him since i got saved in 2021 nearly 4 whole yrs ago and i am trying to soak it all in and even process it!!!! so i share all of this on here bc it's a lil diary for me, i love to share what He's doing for me to show others He can do it for anyone and i want to give hope to others with my testimonies. i have had so many of these recently and it's made me so joyful 🥹

[bornwholocker]

Drew royal wrightworth because I saw a pose and I needed to draw them in their insane café outfits

We do NOT talk about the background ok I had to remake this too many times so I’m doing a fun shading and perspective style called “whatever the hell I want leave me alone.”

Edgeworth as like some sorta royalty and Phoenix as a guard.. someone sedate me

[deer-vertebrae]

hhgk just thought a little too hard about satosugu and now my stomach hurts

[telesodalite]

Thinking about KrokFire...

Thinking about them sparring in the cargohold, because it's a long trip, and cabin fever is setting in, and Misfire is gonna pop a gasket if he doesn't do something about it soon, since flying in open space gets real boring real fast, and it's making everyone a little nervous, but Krok has time to kill, and maybe, quietly, he's also two steps away from doing something stupid just to feel alive again after cruising around pointlessly, mindlessly, endlessly, for so so long... (It's barely been a month)

And sure, Misfire is a terrible sparring partner. He has no technique, no concept of proper balance, or an inkling of how to use the weight of his own frame. He rushes headfirst like he's more bull than fighter jet, he talks too much, he spits, he bites, and he can't stand losing. But, in a roundabout way, it almost makes him the perfect partner in Krok's eyes.

Crankcase won't spar, "can't" he claims flatly, gesturing at the gaping hole in his helm, but Krok can respect his want for distance. That occasional flash of fear and frozen unease in Crankcase's visor in close combat doesn't go over his head. He knows that look. He gets it. He won't push.

Fulcrum... well, a streetlight might be a tougher fight, or at least it would stay up longer and complain less. So much for a once respectable officer of the empire. What was Deathsaurus' command thinking promoting anyone without any actual combat training? It would almost be pathetic if Fulcrum didn't find a way to put the vitriol of thrown fists into his words instead. Now there was some swears Krok hadn't heard in a couple millennia, it would be inspiring if it wasn't his own spark Fulcrum had been damning to the pits and back through a bloody nose.

Spinister? Now Spinister was a good fighter, a better fighter, Krok wasn't so prideful to deny that truth. He'd tasted the dust of the cargohold floor enough to know it was a definitive fact. But Spinister held back, he was careful, he matched Krok's pace, his movements, he held himself defensively, any attack was quick, simple, and merely restraining. It was less a fight, and more a waiting game until Krok finally gave up, and that... well, that did sting a bit.

But Misfire? Misfire was a different beast all together. Sure Krok could dance circles around the flier all day, but it wasn't totally effortless work, he had to stay sharp, Misfire was so predictably unpredictable, he kept him thinking, moving, on his toes, and maybe it felt good to sidestep another stupid headfirst charge, easily grabbing and swinging Misfire around by his arm, so unbalanced all Krok had to do was let him go, and the weight of his own frame would send him careening into the crates stacked around them.

Most days, Misfire would give up by then, pull himself off the pile of overturned cargo with no small amount of burning shame and frustration, as he avoided Krok's optics and stormed off into the bowels of the ship before Krok could say something to ease the sting of losing again and again. Misfire didn't want his apologies though, and even as a pang of guilt ate at him over it, Krok knew he'd be back eventually.

But today, too pent-up and bored to quit now, Misfire pushed himself back onto his feet and charged back in again, and again, and again.

And Krok moved with him again, and again, and again. It was almost repetitive, but lively enough that he could feel the energon pumping through his head, a thrumming beat in his audials that reminds him of deafening battlefields and roaring stadiums, and oh, he'd missed this feeling, the adrenaline, the movement, more so than he thought he did.

Maybe it's the overconfidence that gets him then, or the memories pulling him out of the present, but Misfire's fist suddenly comes slamming down into his mask, and for a moment everything becomes a blur, until he finds himself on the floor, clutching at the shattered metal falling from his face in disbelief.

Faintly he can feel the twinge of broken mesh, of pain pinching dully across scarred flickering sensors, and maybe it's the adrenaline that pulls a suprised and breathy laugh out of him as he stares down at the pieces in his hand.

Maybe it's also the disbelief, the sudden shock at being struck hard enough to break his mask, by Misfire of all mechs. Or maybe he's cracked his helm, finally snapping something important deep in his processor, some vital function that kept him sane all these years.

Either way, an old familiar buzz of heady energy fills his chest, loosening his joints and straightening his struts as he stands back up, brushing off the broken remains of his mask as he stares back at Misfire, barefaced and bleeding and amused as the flier's optics go bright and wide.

And all Misfire can do for a moment is stand there, wide-eyed and breathless, his own adrenaline filled frame and hammering processor still trying to make sense of the broken plating of his knuckles and the energon trickling down Krok's scarred lips.

But connections are made, and it's a panicked realization at first, a cold dread, a 'ohhhhh fuck oh primus I fucked up I'm dead I'm so fucking dead-!' sort of feeling, as Krok's marred face breaks into an energon stained grin. But then there's another feeling, growing somewhere underneath the panic, a sudden curl of heat in his chest, a flush of pride, conviction, a sort of frenzied joy at the sight of broken mesh and fresh energon, and another rush of hot anticipation as Krok began to move again, circling, waiting, an unspoken question in the air as he rolls his shoulders back and flexes his hands.

And Misfire answers eagerly, suprising himself almost as he charges foward again, wanting more of that feeling, wanting to win again.

It's not really sparring past this point, and somewhere in the back of their minds they both know that. Every strike, every kick, every punch, it's all thoughtless instinct, each clash of plating, and bite of denta, and scrape of fingertips, is part of a mad dash for victory in the gladiator pit of scrap and debris they've built around themselves.

Of course, it can't last forever. They're no real gladiators, no phase-sixers, no primes, and movements get sluggish, vents rattle and wheeze as coolant pumps reach their limits, and building condensation slides powerless punches right off of scuffed metal and mesh.

Even like this though, worn out and bleeding from more scrapes than he had half a mind to count, Krok is still better, and Misfire is still predictable, and it's no great feat to sweep his legs out from beneath him, landing him flat on the floor, wings spread out and chestplate heaving.

Overworked joints sharply protest as he goes to pin the flier down bodily, and finally Krok faces the fact he has to consider how to end this, so he might let his own beaten frame finally still for a moment to breathe.

But as Krok catches one flailing arm in his grip, scoffing at the desperation, still goading Misfire on even as he tries to end this, a hand stubbornly catches his throat, but stops before it can truly squeeze.

And once more they're not really moving, just staring, watching, but it's less wired and tense now, rather, its shaky, a little unfocused, as exhaustion filters out in heaving puffs of hot air between their frames.

Someone's plating is rattling, Krok isn't sure if it's his own or Misfire's, but the cost of adrenaline is painfully noticeable now. His grip loosens on Misfire's arms, and the idea of total victory is less sweet as his cables begin to ache throughout his inner-framework.

But Misfire's hand slides up to catch his jaw before he can lean back and relent to a truce, and he's pulling him closer, and Krok starts to push him off, call it quits before either of them breaks something past repair, but a flash of energon on Misfire lips catches his eye, and that hadn't been there a moment ago?

Before he can even begin to ask what that was supposed to mean, Misfire is pulling him down again, angling his helm upwards to feverishly meet his lips half-way.

Although the mesh of Misfire's face was throughly bruised and scuffed, Krok had frustratingly failed to return the favor of a busted lip. So, it had to be his own, smeared across Misfire's face at some point in the scuffle, it shouldn't have been interesting in the slightest, but Krok's processor was hazy, slow, and his optics trailed Misfire's glossa as he licked his lips and made an odd curious sound.

And maybe it was a stupid move to make so impulsively, one he'd regret making probably, but still too caught up in the waning heated high of the fight, Misfire figured he could worry about losing such a hard-earned battle later. Right now, this seemed far better than actually winning, and the taste of Krok's energon felt like a victory and reward nonetheless.

Bracing himself as Misfire wriggled his other hand free to splay out over his thigh, holding him desperately against his frame as he tried pulling him even closer, Krok considered the heat dispersion warnings flickering distractingly in his peripheral, and the very noticeable strain on his back and legs, even his arms.

It's not a great position to be in right now, after all they've done already. He'll regret it, he knows he will, his body will make sure of it, if Spinister doesn't first.

But then Misfire's glossa is sliding against the jagged edges of his teeth, and he's making hoarse little pathetic noises into Krok's mouth that stoke some sort of ego at having the flier so desperate beneath him, and Misfire's hands are warm and heavy over aching plating and seams, and really, on second thought, after weeks of boredom, why the hell not?

They've got nowhere to be.

[smytherines]

I think about Owen and the Chimera surveillance network a lot, because to me it isn't a question of having a surveillance network or not. It is happening. The question is: who will control it?

The surveillance network is an arms race between Chimera, the U.S. government, and I would imagine also the Russians and the British as well. One of these entities *will* succeed, Chimera is just the furthest along. Its like the race for the atomic bomb- each superpower pursued its own nuclear weapons program simultaneously, the US (collaborating with the British) just crossed the finish line first.

Here's my argument.

The first crucial piece of the puzzle is Barb Larvernor. The first time we hear about the concept of computers making spies obsolete, it isn't from DMA/Owen. It's from Barb. In A1P5, Barb says:

"Well picture this- the world's first, large-scale, information collective and archival system... Its just an idea I've been toying around with. If it worked, we'd be able to take down syndicates by doing the detective work from the safety of our desks. It would take the guesswork out of your job, hopefully saving some lives in the process- including your own. Can you imagine if this technology existed?"

There's also this conversation between Barb and Tatiana from the interludes during One Step Ahead.

Tatiana: I need you to search for an island, the size of a compound, that can store hundreds of computing systems

Barb: Easy, I have actually already been researching locations that fit that exact criteria... see, I have been thinking of a technology that can revolutionize- found one!"

From these two exchanges, we know that at the very least Barb is working on this "information collective and archival system" for the US government to use, although she seems to still be in the research and development phase.

Now, let's move on to what we know about Chimera's system, and what Owen wants from it.

First, we have this dialogue from A1P8, of DMA outright telling Curt his plan:

*recording of Cynthia plays*

Curt: where did that come from?

BVN: a little birdie told me

DMA: that little birdie being an advanced network of information surveillance that we've been-

Curt: boring!

Then, from A2P5, we have Owen explaining the system and why he wants to control it:

Tatiana: bird? Little birdies? His scientists developing... you're after the technology

Owen: Pop goes the weasel! An advanced Nazi information surveillance network to collect and archive state secrets.

They discuss why Owen wants the land (silicon babyyy), and then:

Owen: Don't you get it? Those stores of silicon from beneath the Earth's crust will allow us to mass produce Von Nazi's technology and deploy his system on a global scale! I'd have all the world's secrets. I'd be God. Now what a world that would be, eh?

The conversation continues:

Curt: my government will never allow this

Tatiana: not even the Soviets will

Owen: not at first, no. Everybody likes to do the watching, but nobody likes to be watched

Tatiana: you can't just invade the privacy of civilians without reason or suspicion

Owen: well, I like to think we are just turning everyone into a spy, they just aren't aware of it

Moving on to A2P6, the staircase scene:

Owen: YOU STILL DON'T SEE, DO YOU, CURT? There won't be any agency to go back to, once the system is global. I'm going to single-handedly dismantle everything you've ever believed in

Then

Owen: the future is happening, Curt. And it's not going to wait for you. What use will one man be, when a box in a room can do his job in seconds, huh?

Curt: sounds boring

Owen: you're a caveman, and I've invented fire

To me, this absolutely reads as Owen being aware that somebody- be it Chimera, or the US, or the Russians- will have this surveillance network. The future is inevitable. The future is surveillance (he was soooo right), the future is computers. Curt just can't see it yet, because he doesn't know technology the way that Owen and Barb do.

Going back to "I'd have all the world's secrets. I'd be God." Makes me believe that Owen is doing this so that *he* will control the flow of information. That he will be able to protect himself against what is coming. That he will never have to be vulnerable to his secret again.

Because here's the thing: we don't know if Chimera is going to use this information to punish or harm queer people. Given that Owen believes he will be in charge of the surveillance system, I'd say at the very least he does not believe it will be.

His goal seems to be "a world without agencies, a world without spies, a world without secrets." It seems to be the destruction of spying as an institution, and undercutting the nations which make use of spies to influence global events. At no point does he say that he will expose queer people if he is in charge of the surveillance network.

But, the US government absolutely will.

The US government is already hunting down queer people, even without a fancy surveillance network. Having control over Chimera's network would only make that task easier for them. Curt's secret, the secret of any queer person in this time period, is almost certainly safer in the hands of a gay man than it would be in the hands of a bloodthirsty global superpower that is already hunting down queer people.

Finally, at the end of the show, after Cynthia says that pretty soon nerds in lab coats will be running the show, we find out that Barb is getting the resources to fully work on the technology she has been talking about the entire show:

When Curt killed Owen he did not kill the surveillance network. Not for Chimera. But also, by handing A.S.S. evidence of what Chimera was doing, he likely influenced the US government to fund Barb and make her surveillance system a reality. A surveillance system that will invariably be used to hurt people like Curt and Owen.

Its possible that Curt never takes down Chimera precisely because the US now has a surveillance system to tell them that their ex-agent, the agent who went rogue, is also gay. And I don't imagine they would be very Gay Rights about it.

From a real world perspective, Owen and Barb were right: surveillance technology was the future in 1961. It is the present we currently live in. Warrantless, invasive, built into every piece of tech we use. The future happened, and it didn't wait for Agent Curt Mega.

[whatwewear2church]

[osamucide]

it’s a really little thing. but do you wanna know what pisses me off so bad. the fact that when you’re typing on mobile quotation marks look different that when you’re typing on pc.

[emostunttwink]

help, i totally forgot about the youth pastor!maruki au

transcription: If your situation ever becomes too painful to endure, remember: it's okay for you to escape your problem.

I don’t want a single one of you to think that an unfair reality you've been forced into is the only one that you have to live...

You can be reborn through Christ’s Love.

He died so that we can have an eternel, everlasting life free from pain and suffering. A perfect reality.

All He requires is your belief in Him.

[baycitystygian]

promising myself that if I send in five job applications or more in the next 24 hours I can give myself a little treat (an 8x10 of paulie I saw on eBay that made me downright critically DEHYDRATED for that man)

[feastingonchrist]

Freedom in Christ 🥹✝️🕊️

so i have recently realized two things about myself that after putting them together it makes a lot of sense as to why i battle carrying out what the Lord has me doing and how it effects my confidence:

1.) as a child, i was always shamed and shut down when i would speak and try to stand up for myself and was accused of having an attitude all the time for it when that was hardly my intentions behind any of it. i think this is a major reason as to why i lack the confidence in communicating with others because of my upbringing, past negative social situations and subconscious/conscious insecurity. i still to this day have a hard time sharing things and speaking what's on my mind whether good or bad in front of my mom and other people. i have always felt so trapped within myself and so when i made the choice to change my mindset and be open to relationship and the freedom that comes with that to connect with others, i have never felt more free (you'll see a testimony later on in this post.)

2.) i also was shamed for expressing my emotions to the point of i would bottle them up because i did not have a healthy way to express and feel through them. i have carried a lot of anxiety, fear, guilt, anger, etc over the years and even some resentment. it's very hard to live like that and when things get tough i often just naturally resort to those feelings. as a teenager, i began feeling super depressed as i was so isolated and had extreme agoraphobia and social anxiety. i will feel that way to this day when i'm going through things that are difficult and out of control and end up hating myself until things get better. i recognize these are areas where God needs to do some healing work and fill me with His love. my mom was also treated this way and never healed and so i've had to do a lot of growing and teaching out of what i've learned that way we can find healing in our household and be more mature and wiser with how we handle things. this is not a post to bash my mom, just sharing the reality of what i have had to deal with and to share with you how it's possible to overcome anything with God on your side! He works in all the details and takes what the enemy meant for evil and turns it to good!!!

here recently, though, i have been feeling a huge release and freedom, in some areas quicker than others, to be able to express myself because i have so much gratitude for what He has been doing for me. the sense of freedom over my words has been crazy and sometimes it feels so supernatural like my mouth is just opening and words are flowing out... i have been smiling so much. i am walking with so much joy and in some relationships, i just feel like a child full of love for them and excitement to see them. i am able to tell them that i love them and express what's on my heart for them. it has opened so many doors of healing for me that i never would've thought possible. i went from wanting community and relationship but being held back by fear, to slowly but surely and so ironically, experiencing love, healing and comfort within relationships as they establish, develop and grow. i think about these people and interactions we've had together and they bring me so much joy and laughter and keep me going because i know exactly where it's coming from (GOD) and all that love is just building up within me so much that i feel like i'm about to explode bc it's so overwhelming! He has shown me His love in ways of pouring it out on me directly, through showing up for me in all ways and i can trust Him more, and through those He has placed in my life. it's cool to see the different ways and stages He has shown me that He loves me. i always sense when He's doing something new and i know He's building some powerful relationships behind the scenes, giving me boldness, new found confidence and being able to be present in the moment rather than overthinking that leads to insecurity and awkwardness, opening me up to vulnerability, self expression and the desire to share what He's done for me (and so much more), and in turn the hopes of blessing others as i discover and practice my spiritual gifts and talents. i don't just love with my feelings but the desire to do so with my actions. just gotta step out in faith and keep showing up (the ongoing theme of my life, apparently! but, hey, i'm learning so much and being made new constantly so it's so worth it!) i'm constantly being evolved into a new creation yet it's so hard to keep up with what He is doing when there are other areas of thinking and being in my mind and flesh that aren't willing yet my Spirit is so that is the only way i am able to keep going.

i have been so inspired by the faith, boldness and passion of those around me that it's been stirring up my Spirit and i'm just so overwhelmed by that as well as the gratitude i have toward God and those who allow themselves to be used by Him because it's helped my faith grow with motivation, excitement and has brought me so much closer to Him and i have such a newfound passion for and connection to the Church than never before. i have always cared deeply for It, but, to experience this love in real life is truly something special. i engaged in community online and that is so important and i will never stop, but if you are able to get plugged into a good church, YOU NEED TO IT'S LIFE CHANGING! my church is my second home and i would live there if i could lol!!!! i'm grateful i get to be there multiple times a week for service and work. my faith has only gotten stronger ever since i showed up one night sort of desperate yet not really expecting too much. God's hand is oh so present there and He is ON THE MOVEEEE AND ISN'T STOPPING ANYTIME SOON.

idk what God is up to because i am only sensing things and seeing some things slowly coming to pass, but what i do know is that i gotta keep walking and i am able to trust Him more and more each day. I see His love for me and how He shows up for me daily with grace. i have seen my life as a Christian without an active faith and with an active faith, and let me tell you.... having an active faith is one of the greatest blessings. we have to walk in obedience and with blind faith despite the fear and we will see Him meet us in the thick of it and guide our steps (Psalm 23). we need to put on the full armor of God every single day and stay in close communion with Him. The enemy tries to attack us in our minds and use our vulnerabilities to throw us off, and it works for a while, but God will ALWAYS lead us back toward Him and bring us peace, clarity, mind renewal, freedom, and give us the fruits of the Spirits needed to daily live our lives. when you start to feel discouraged RUN TO GOD. don't act as if you don't even know Him as you isolate and self sabotage because you know that only makes your situation worse. instead, run to your Father because He will be there with open arms. Return to the Gospel.

(i could say sooooo much more but this is already way longer than intended but i may add on later or end up posting a draft from last night too because i have so much to say. it's a lot of what i have already written here but i cannot for the life of me organize my thoughts and find new ways to write all of this down and come to new revelations of thanksgiving because He is so good and my words can't do my heart the justice it deserves. idk if i'm still processing or that it's just so much i can't contain it all or confine it and reduce it that i have a billion pages typed and written and idk how the heck i'm going to get this letter written for my church but eventually... hopefully soon cause this has to be released lol

[aspirant1598]

[ciderjacks]

argh. This comic writing is taking me way longer than usual. I keep editing things and it doesn’t feel right.

[yearoftheflop]

hiii :3 i would love some director's commentary on the paragraph in extraordinary shift starting with "He might’ve never been kissed before." i reread that ten times sighing longingly at all the little stories hidden in there i think you're a genius <3

Well, I thought about how cathartic it must feel for Kris after months of soul searching, years of orbiting around it, after longing and arguing, new rich experiences, break-ups, goodbyes and rebuilding to finally have this kiss, to be with this man he could never let go off. And it's not about the act itself, or being allowed to kiss him & to be honest and come clean, it's not about the grandeur of the gesture either — quite the opposite, it is moving to be kissed by him first, with no tricks or take-backs, to be reassured, to give Bojan the reigns and say you decide now, I'm tired, and he just gives you exactly what you've always needed.

It is quiet and simple on the surface while inside their worlds collided after being held apart for a long time. Kris thinks it must be the first true experience in his life because he's very much in love, a little foggy with lust and the man he's been dreaming about is literally pinning him to the mattress. Tough spot to be in for epiphanies. But it's neither his first kiss nor his first man — instead, it's like all those moments of love he knew before got amplified by ten like he's too attuned, finally, he's right in the centre of the feeling, not reminiscing, not cataloguing for later, not saving anything — just right in the centre, eyes wide open. 

And since this is a cathartic moment for two, the paragraph describes them both or tries to lol, like at the very end of the story "drifting between each other", so we get insight into Bojan's pov as well. 

Imagine a kaleidoscope of moments from two lives, flowing into each other and forming new shapes together: teen love (Kris's crush and Bojan's French endeavour, a ref to his old ig post really), Kris's lively reintroduction to his gf, Bojan's lonely subdued search for connection with men, Kris's later in life longing for a relationship again, for guidance, for someone to offer to take control — addressed to Damon, to London itself or to no-one in particular at all, Bojan's solid matured love that keeps him steady, even resigned to be unanswered, "... aquamarine, he’s keeping me safe at sea" are Bojan's thoughts about Kris, he asks for nothing, love like a precious jewel — Kris doesn't know this for sure yet, suspects, hopes, guesses, etc but you as a reader already looked behind the curtain of Bojan's thoughts and you should know this is the point of no return. 

What Kris learns inside the moment is that all the love before was beautiful, real, and worth it, and led him like a guiding light — everything was always about love and love was always about Bojan. The rest is just a matter of rearranging the composition.

fanfic writers: director’s cut

[whatwewear2church]

IMΛGӨ DΣI 𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐆𝐎𝐃