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writeplace-wrongtime · 10 months

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Before the Bet

First of all, thank you to everyone who interacted with The Bet. Seeing reblogs, likes and comments literally made my week, I appreciate all of you!

It also boosted my motivation, so I'm back with a 5+1 prequel to the bet - It can be read standalone as well, but if you haven't read The Bet, check it out here!

This was meant to be like 2000 words max but here we are.

masterlist coming soon

Word Count: 5k~

CW// mentions of blood/fainting, stabbing, arrest, hospitals, mentions of child kidnapping/death, use of y/n, not beta'd

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5 times reader and Hotch hid their relationship + 1 time they didn't need to

The BAU rarely had quiet days. Whenever they cropped up, it meant hours of catching up on paperwork and emails, and even more so it meant getting to goof around the office without the usual level of urgency. In short, quiet days were nice.

You had spent the morning sorting through all the files in, on, or around your desk, hoping to clear up some space for the files that would surely start piling up again in the coming weeks. Old case files were sorted into one file to be moved to the proper storage rooms, while newer files were sorted according to date and case number, until you had an oldest-newest pile to work through in the afternoon.

Occasionally on quiet days, Aaron would offer to buy everyone coffee, and Emily and Derek would fight over who got to go pick it up. Today, was not one of those days. JJ and Henry had brought little Henry in for a visit, and with them came fresh muffins and cakes from the bakery near their house. A little after noon, you decided it was the perfect time for a cheap office-coffee refill, and a quiet time to sneak an extra muffin back to your desk.

The kitchen was quiet, with most of the office either holding off until lunch, or already sorted after their coffee break a couple hours earlier. You had just topped up the instant coffee when the door creaked open. You didn’t look up until a hand ghosted your lower back, and the sleeve of Aaron’s suit reached your peripheral vision. He leaned against the countertop, somewhere between beside and behind you, and you turned to face him. There was a smile on his lips, but a crinkle on his forehead where he’d previously been frowning at paperwork.

‘Coffee?’ He just nodded as you reached past him to grab his usual “no.1 Dad” mug Spencer and JJ had bought him one Christmas as a gag gift. You filled the two mugs, enjoying the closeness you often missed out on during work hours.

‘Dinner,’ He spoke suddenly, catching your attention, ‘Us, we should get dinner.’

You had had many dates over the 2 months since your relationship with Aaron had started, but every time he directly asked you out, whether to dinner or a movie, he always seemed unsure of himself.

‘You asking me on a date, sir?’ You teased, leaning against the counter in a perfect mirror of his position. He laughed, a quiet breathy sound that sent butterflies to your stomach.

‘Trying to, yes.’ Your smile grew.

‘Dinner sounds lovely, Aaron,’ Your voice had become quieter, but no less audible to him as you leaned fractionally closer. ‘Jack was telling me about the restaurant you went to last week, the one that had the dinosaur colouring sheets?’

He nodded thoughtfully as you slid his coffee towards him. He took a sip, before leaving the mug back down on the counter. ‘They had a great selection of colours,’ He said with a fond smile. You loved hearing him speak about Jack; the obvious pride displayed across his face whenever his son came into the conversation.

You were just about to ask if he’d kept the coloured sheet when the door’s squeaky hinges creaked loudly, and you jumped apart. Emily stood at the door’s entrance, eyebrows raised at the scene before her. Aaron looked between you and her, moving another step back as subtly as he could.

‘Thanks, uh, that eyelash has been bothering me all morning!’ You blurted out, voice just slightly too loud. You brought your hand to your face, wiping at the phantom eyelash as if to remove it. With a little more distance now between you, you were able to steady your beating heart. When Aaron made no move to leave, you picked up your own coffee, added a touch of cold water, and made a beeline for the door. You rolled your eyes at Emily as you passed, pointedly not looking at the kissy face she made when Aaron had turned back to the sink. Emily moved further into the kitchen then, but Aaron was already heading for the door, eyes following you as you sat back down at your desk with a muffin he hadn't even seen you grab.

‘Hey Hotch?’ He paused at the door, turning to see Emily with his coffee mug in hand, holding it out as if to offer it to him, ‘You forget something?’ There was an obvious teasing lilt to her tone, but he chose to ignore it, hoping he would be back in his office before the scarlet tint reached his cheeks. He wasn’t. He opted to instead hide his face behind the rim of the mug, taking a sip of the hot coffee. With one last glance towards your desk, he disappeared back into his office, and if anyone noticed the door shut a little faster than normal, no one mentioned it.

The knock on his office door alerted Aaron to your early morning arrival. He was used to being the first to the office, especially when the cases were stacking up like they were now. Since your relationship had started 4 months ago, you had taken to bringing him coffee on such days. He appreciated it.

‘Morning, handsome.’ You had a sleepy smile on your face as you stepped into the office. In your hands you carried two coffee cups. While you hadn’t spent the night at Aaron’s apartment, you knew he would be up early and in the office at a ridiculous hour. Where there was work to be done, he was always nearby. His shoulders visibly relaxed as you placed the coffees in front of him.

‘I don’t know what I’d do without you,’ He sighed, an equally tired smile on his own face. The hands of his watch ticked loudly in the otherwise quiet office, and a quick glance showed it was nearly half seven. You weren’t due in until 9. Hands now free, you pulled a chair closer, settling into it before picking back up your own coffee. You reached out and plucked a file from the desk.

‘A problem shared is a problem halved!’ You argued when he raised his eyebrows at you. The usual accompanying frown was absent, so you knew he wasn’t really annoyed at the intrusion, nor the cheesy proverb.

‘Not when half of the problems are confidential.’ You rolled your eyes but conceded. The file was returned to the pile, and you moved to stand. ‘But the company would be appreciated.’

Your attempt to hide your smile was terrible. You blamed your tiredness. Aaron appreciated this time with you. Early enough that there was no worry about anyone seeing the fondness in his expression while you told him about your adventures in cooking the evening before, or the lovestruck smile on your face when he took your hand in his, pressing a kiss to your knuckles before returning to the file in front of him, fingers still intertwined with yours.

Well, no one except David Rossi. David who had come into work early to enjoy the peace of organising himself for the day before everyone else arrived. David who quietly closed his office door to allow you what little time together you could get at the office.

Weekends off were rare. So, when they came around, everyone celebrated. Team-bonding nights out had become more regular since Emily’s return from “death”. Friday nights before a weekend off were almost always spent together at a bar, club, or occasionally Rossi’s house for impromptu cooking lessons. Penelope and Emily often took turns trying to wing-man for you, and even JJ joined in after a couple drinks. Usually, you used the excuse of wanting to enjoy their company, but occasionally you called an early night to get a break from their incessant need to insert themselves into your sex-life. If you’d been single, you probably would’ve appreciated it. But you weren’t.

The previous night had been one of those early nights. Aaron hadn’t come out with everyone, insisting he needed to finish up some reports and to go on without him. As much as you’d enjoyed the few hours out with your team, you’d decided early in the night that once you’d had three drinks, you were going to go back to Aaron’s apartment and enjoy the rest of the evening with him. It wasn’t often that you had the apartment to yourselves on a Friday night, but Jessica had offered to have Jack for a sleepover. You wanted to make the most of it.

To wake up naturally, no blaring alarm clock or ringing phone, was a blessing. The room was lit by dim light behind closed curtains, and the only sounds were that of birds outside and the quiet snoring of Aaron behind you. His arm was draped over your waist, keeping you warm where his bare skin touched yours. Slow mornings were good mornings. You rolled in his arms until you were facing him, tracing the outline of his face with your eyes. He really was the most handsome man you’d ever seen. It was something you reminded him often.

‘Morning,’ His voice, though usually deep, was always deeper in the mornings, sending shivers down your spine. Your eyes met his half-open ones, and you leaned in to press a kiss to his lips. The only thing you loved more than spending the night with Aaron, was waking up to him the next morning. He chased your lips as you leaned back, swallowing your laugh as he caught them with his. Large hands encircled your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.

Swinging a leg over his waist, you manoeuvred yourself over him without breaking the kiss, earning a groan as you rolled your hips languidly down on his. His lips broke away from yours, only to reattach further down your neck, wandering hands moving up and under your pyjama top in their search for skin. You buried your fingers in his hair, tugging gently as his hips rose to meet yours. Moving one hand to the back of your neck, the other around your back, Aaron flipped you, positioning himself on top of you. He kept his weight off you with one arm, which lay next to your head while the other resumed its journey up your side towards your chest. He took a moment to look down at you, appreciating the view below him before he returned his lips to the expanse of untouched skin below your collarbone.

Your hands were half-way to tugging at his shirt when the loud ring of his phone broke you apart. Your eyes stayed closed, a sigh leaving you as he rolled over and off you to grab the device off the side table.

‘Hello?’ His voice was still breathy as he picked up the call, but you could tell instantly it was a work call as his voice became stern and serious. He was on the call for barely thirty seconds before you realised what a work call at 9am on a Saturday meant for you both. ‘Of course. I’ll be there soon.’

The disappointment at your ruined weekend plans was evident on your face. Aaron was already sitting up, stretching out sleep-sore muscles and trying to get the blood circulating back around his entire body. You opened your mouth to try and persuade him to lie back down, just for five more minutes, when your own phone rang. You didn’t need to see the caller ID to know it was Penelope, the unique ringtone she’d set for herself playing loud and clear.

‘Please god let this be a social call.’ There were nicer ways to answer the phone; you didn’t care to use one.

‘I hate being the bearer of bad news, but they found a body in Monogahela national forest, and its not looking pretty,’ Penelope said, an apologetic tone to her normally cheery voice, ‘But don’t worry my love, our resident Boy Genius promised to bring coffees and pastries for everyone.’

‘He’s really earning that genius title,’ You laughed, turning your head slightly to get a better view of Aaron, who was pulling dress pants out of the wardrobe and searching for a tie to match the shirt he’d already laid out at the foot of the bed. He held up two options when he saw you looking. It was very domestic, and you felt all the more disappointed that in one short hour, you’d be back to pretending you hadn’t spent the night - and start of the morning - between the sheets with him. Back to pretending that you weren’t planning to spend the weekend helping Jack bake cookies and cakes for his schools bake sale on Monday, and going for a run with Aaron before you tried to recreate one of Dave’s pasta recipes for dinner with Jack and Jessica. Back to pretending he was just your boss.

You looked away, trying to focus back on Penelope’s words as she explained the flight times and what you needed to add to your go bag. You were glad you’d put your spare overnight bag into the boot of Aarons car.

‘Fuck!’

Yours eyes widened at the sudden exclamation, head whipping back around to see Aaron holding his foot. You barely had time to deduce that he’d stubbed his toe before Penelope’s voice was screaming through the receiver at you.

‘OH MY GOD! Was that a man???’ You were at a loss for words, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation. Thankfully, Penelope had no interest in waiting for your response. ‘I thought you went home early, you sly fox!’

‘Listen Pen, I have to go,’ You said quickly, ‘See you soon!’

You pulled the phone away from your ear, her threats of finding out all the details later cut off as you hung up. There was a moment of silence, before you burst out laughing, clutching your stomach tightly. Aaron’s laugh followed yours seconds later, both of you revelling in the ridiculousness of the situation. Seven months of secrets and it was nearly all revealed over a stubbed toe. By the time the laughter had subsided, Aaron had sat back down next to you. You leaned into him, pressing a kiss to his exposed collarbone.

‘You know she’s gonna quiz me about this the entire flight, right?’

Cases involving children were always hard. After a week of searching and profiling and praying, the team had identified and located the unsub. Five missing children over six months. The latest victim, a young girl kidnapped from the local fair, had been the missing piece of the puzzle that led you to the unsub, but the team had been too late, arriving in time to catch the unsub wrapping her body for disposal. The arrest had been horrible, but sitting with JJ while she informed the victim’s parents was even worse.

By the end of the day, you were completely and utterly drained. You wanted to be back in your own bed, in your own apartment, not in a stuffy hotel room overthinking every decision you had made. Those parents wanted their little girl back. You tried to push the thought from your mind. After nearly an hour in the vicious hell of your own company, you dragged yourself off the bed, and down the hallway to the room you knew Aaron had. You had never been more grateful for the increased hotel budget allowing the team individual rooms on this case.

He was quick to answer the door, still in his suit, though his tie hung undone around his neck. He looked roughly how you felt. His frown deepened when he saw you, standing with your arms around your torso, eyes red and puffy.

‘Come here,’ he said, already reaching out for you. No more words were needed as he wrapped you up in his embrace, holding you against him. The door swung shut behind you as he guided you further into the room. It was identical to yours, with a double bed in the centre, a small coffee machine and mug on the edge of a small desk, and a door leading into a small bathroom. Unlike yours, most of Aaron’s belongings had been packed away into his overnight bag, gun and badge sitting on top of the open bag.

‘I hate cases like this,’ you whispered into his neck, letting the repetitive motion of his hand rubbing your back soothe you.

‘I know, so do I.’

You stood together in the middle of the room for a long time before you pulled back. Not far enough to be out of Aaron’s arms, but enough that you could look at him. His brow was furrowed as he met your gaze, face all full of worry and exhaustion. You reached up, running your thumb along his brow to soften the expression, smoothing out the lines. He leaned into your touch. Catching your wrist in his hand, he peppered kisses along the inside of it, following the line all the way to your palm. It was methodical, kisses following the vein as far as they could.

You looped the fingers of your free hand into the loop of his tie, pulling him to you until your lips met his. The kiss wasn’t rushed, or hungry. It was soft and gentle, anchoring you to the present, and away from the past two days. When he pulled back, he let his forehead rest against yours, eyes still closed. It was the moment of calm you had been hoping for since you’d first arrived. It wouldn’t solve all your problems, or take away all the guilt you felt, but it could keep them from overwhelming you entirely. After a minute, you opened your eyes.

‘I really should head back, my bags not going to pack itself, and I do not want to be stuck here any longer than I have to be,’ you said, stepping out of his space with much difficulty. You wanted to stay, borrow his shirt to sleep in and worry about everything else tomorrow, but your flight was early, and you really didn’t want to be rushing to get packed before take-off.

‘I’ll be here if you need me,’ He voice was almost hoarse with how soft he spoke, pulling you back in for one last kiss. You turned then, and left the room, pulling the door shut behind you. You still felt horrible, but the heavy weight on your chest had eased off. That was all you could hope for tonight.

‘Isn’t that Hotch’s room?’ You froze like a deer in headlights outside the door as Spencer’s voice reached your ears. You turned to look at him over your shoulder, hoping he wouldn’t notice the panic-stricken expression on your face.

‘Uh, yeah,’ You forced out, ‘Yeah he uh- you see, my shower wasn’t working.’ Your brain felt fried, but the excuse wasn’t the worst you’d come up with over the previous nine months. ‘He let me us his. Shower.’ Spencer blinked at you, and for a frighteningly long minute, he said nothing.

‘That’s nice of him,’ He said finally, lips curling into a half-smile, ‘Hey, Emily, Derek and I were going to go down to the bar for a drink, if you want to come?’

‘Sounds great, Spence,’ You mirrored his smile, ‘I need to pack, so I’ll meet you down there?’ He nodded, and with that he disappeared down the hall, and you took a deep breath. You’d have to tell them eventually, but not tonight. Not tonight.

You wouldn’t realise until days later that your hair had been completely dry, you had no towels with you, and your excuse had been ridiculously transparent.

You knew it was a bad idea to sit next to Aaron on the flight back, but it had been a tough case, and you couldn’t help but yearn for his comfort. Even though it had been short, everyone seemed to be feeling it. With Derek passed out across the couch, and Emily and Spencer focused on their game of cards, there hadn’t been much stopping you gingerly leaning closer to the warmth radiating from the man next to you. He acknowledged your careful closeness by letting the free hand not occupied by the case report drop to rest on your knee under the table.

The coffee you’d made for yourself after boarding had only increased your adrenaline crash, and you could feel your eyelids drooping even as you fought to keep them open. It was a losing battle. The soft material of Aaron’s shirt made contact with your cheek as you leaned against his shoulder. The muscles beneath you tensed, but not enough to wake you from the sleep that had taken over quite rapidly.

Aaron glanced down at you before back up at the rest of the team. JJ was nowhere to be seen, probably in the small airplane kitchen, and the others seemed to be otherwise occupied. When he was sure no one was paying any attention to your little corner of the plane, he allowed himself to relax. It was a needed comfort after the weeks work. His thumb drew soft circles on your thigh, and for the first time all week, he closed the case file and his eyes. Just a minute of peace, that’s all he needed.

The minute ended rather abruptly when the hushed voices of Emily and JJ reached his ears. He stubbornly kept his eyes shut.

‘Think he’d let the rest of his drool on his shoulder like that?’ Emily’s voice was just about audible, the teasing grin on her face clear in his mind even without seeing it. He thought about waking you, pretending it was all just tiredness, and moving on like there weren’t four pairs of eyes on you both. But he couldn’t. Not when your body curved toward him, unaware of its unconscious betrayal. Your hair tickled where it brushed against his neck.

Instead, he opened his eyes slowly, giving the onlookers a chance to turn away. They didn’t need to know he’d heard them. He didn’t need to know they would be continuing this conversation shortly after the plane landed. Dave, who sat across the row from Aaron, hid his smirk with his coffee mug, returning his focus to his book. With one last soft look in your direction (which didn’t go unnoticed by Emily and Spencer), Aaron picked up the case file and got back to work.

‘Fuck.’ You were bent at the middle, hands on your knees for support as you tried to catch a breath. Derek and one of the uniformed officers were already hauling the unsub off towards a police cruiser. A second uniformed officer was searching the area for the weapon, which had been lost in the scuffle. You brushed off Emily’s concern, promising her you were just winded. Straightening up, you swallowed a wince as your hands ached to go to your stinging side. ‘Just, just need to sit for a minute.’

‘We’ll take care of everything here, why don’t you go with Reid, get checked out by the paramedics?’ You blinked rapidly as you tried to focus back on her words.

‘I’m okay, Em, really,’ Your chest felt like it was on fire with every breath you took, but you forced a reassuring smile. She didn’t look reassured. ‘Fine, mom, I’ll get checked when Reid’s done.’

Emily’s concerned look didn’t fade, but she nodded, and you turned back towards the line of black SUVs. Once she had moved off to help make a perimeter around the scene, you slowly walked back to them. Thankfully, the lights and sirens had since been switched off. You pulled yourself into the passenger seat, trying to pretend it didn’t hurt so much. You couldn’t be weak in front of your team. You’d gotten a shock, that’s all. You were fine.

A wave of tiredness crashed over you as soon as you sat down, leaning forward to balance yourself against the dash. You weren’t catching your breath, instead finding it harder and harder to fill your lungs. A few more minutes, that’s all you needed. You tried desperately to convince yourself the words were true, but as another breath burned its way down your trachea, panic started to set in. All too suddenly, your FBI vest felt too tight, your arms heavy as you tried to tear it off. With a lot of activity, you managed to get it loosened, but as soon as the pressure was released, your head started to spin rapidly. You closed your eyes tightly, trying to dispel the feeling, but within seconds, a darkness had swallowed you.

It could’ve been seconds, minutes, or hours before a sliver of consciousness crept back into your body. There was a noise to your left, and you dazedly tried to turn your head, but it wouldn’t move. You tried to focus on the window in front of you, but your vision was swimming. Feeling wobbly, you tried to push yourself up straighter, tried to turn and move, and then there was a warm hand on your shoulder, pushing you gently back against the seat.

‘Stay still.’ The words were commanding, but the voice was laced with worry. ‘The paramedics are almost here.’ And then, more distant as if the owner of the voice had moved away from you, he yelled, ‘Where are the medics?!’

You didn’t remember much after that, holding onto the voice as you drifted in and out of consciousness. Aaron remembered the whole journey too clearly. Guilt crept through him, worsening the longer it took to reach the hospital. He was sent to the waiting room while you were rushed into surgery. With an abundance of time, and a lack of answers, all he could do was replay the scene in his mind over and over and over again.

The arrest was meant to be easy. With no victims in the house, and no wives or kids in the picture to be used as hostages, it should’ve been easy to disarm the suspect and bring him into custody. Instead, he had let you just close enough to him to grab you and press a small knife against your side. You’d let your guard down when he’d given up so easily. You should’ve known better. It was a tense negotiation, the point of the blade piercing the material of your vest as JJ spoke to the man, Derek sneaking slowly behind him.

As soon as the unsub was fully distracted by JJ, Derek had moved in. Tackling the unsub to the ground had knocked you down with them, your head hitting the ground with a thump. The knife went skittering off as the man’s arm collided with the ground, but with Derek’s knee against his back and arms pressing down on his shoulders, he quickly lost the fight.

Aaron wanted to rush to you, to gather you in his arms and not let you go, but the captain of the police department had already turned his attention to the growing crowd of journalists and bystanders trying to get closer to get the full story. Emily had already gone to you, so with an unconscious scowl, Aaron turned and followed the captain towards the tape.

It wasn’t long before he was joined by JJ and Dave, as the trio attempted to subdue the now impatient journalists and horrified neighbours.

‘Hotch!’ Emily’s voice carried over the commotion to reach his ears. He turned to watch her as she weaved through the crowd of officers to reach him. Dave glanced at them, before redirecting the journalists in front of them onto another question, leaving Aaron the gap he needed to step back.

‘What’s wrong?’ He didn’t wait for her to come to a stop, the concerned look on her face clueing him into the fact something was amiss.

‘Its y/n.’ Aaron swore in that moment his heart stopped beating. ‘They promised they’d get checked out by the medics, but Reid said they haven’t been anywhere near the ambulances.’

A quick glance over his shoulder showed JJ and Dave gaining control of the mob, and he nodded to Emily, already striding away from the mass of bodies. She was quick to follow. Taking the lead, she headed back towards the SUVs, where she assumed you must’ve gone. She hadn’t seen you when she passed, but it had been a quick pass.

Aaron himself nearly missed your figure through the tinted windows, slumped down in the seat. His heart stopped for a second time that day.

‘Get a medic!’ It was his voice yelling out, but it sounded distant, even to his own ears. With the door flung open, he put his hand on your shoulder and shook. Your head lolled with the motion, but your eyes fought to open. You were alive. Feeling resistance under his fingers, he gently pushed you back against the seat, eyes scanning your figure trying to find the damage. ‘Stay still,’ He tried to keep his voice steady and calm, swallowing the lump in his throat as a trail of red caught his attention. The bottom of your vest was torn and a shaded darker than the rest, a small red trail leaking out from underneath onto your white shirt. Carefully manoeuvring you to a position where he had better access, he pressed down hard against the dark spot.

‘The paramedics are almost here.’ He couldn’t tell if you could still hear him, your eyelids fluttering rapidly. He leaned out of the car as far as he could without lessening the pressure, ‘Where are the medics?!’

He could see two people in high vis jackets approaching quickly, Emily leading the way. Two big bags and a stretcher was carried between the two, and it was only mere seconds before they were ushering him back and out of their way so they could assess the damage.

Whatever they decided, it wasn’t good. They removed your vest, and shirt, and by the amount of packing being shoved back into one of the bags, the bleeding wasn’t slowing. If he wasn’t so panicked, Aaron would’ve appreciated how efficiently they worked. It was only five minutes before you were being packed into the back of the ambulance. Dave had been left in charge at the scene, with instructions to come to the hospital as soon as everything was cleared at the scene and the precinct.

The paramedic in the back with Aaron – Thomas, as he’d introduced himself – busied himself with taking sets of vitals every 5 minutes, monitoring the pressure bandages around your abdomen, and ensuring the flow of oxygen was at a steady level. All the while, he tried to keep Aaron clued into what was happening for every step.

By the time they’d reached the hospital, you had a sickly pallor. You were rushed immediately into an emergency theatre. Once the doors closed in front of him, it took every ounce of strength to carry his body to the waiting room. He sat for what felt like days, before a nurse came to find him. In reality it had been an intensive two-hour surgery, and a thankfully uneventful recovery. On route to your room, he was given the news that everything had gone smoothly. Luck had been on your side, and the wound had missed everything important. It had only barely nicked a large vein, which had caused the large bleed, but had been easy to fix. It would be at least six weeks of desk duty, but you would recover.

Sitting at your bedside, Aaron gripped your hand in his, careful not to squeeze too hard. He was positive you’d hit him if you felt he was treating you as if you were fragile, but until you woke up, he would take that chance. With the adrenaline dropping and the relief flooding in, all he could do was hold on and not let go. After 40 minutes of watching for signs of you waking up, Aaron could feel his eyelids dropping. He didn’t try keep them open, instead shuffling the chair closer to the edge of the bed. You would be there when he woke, as he would be when you woke.

Which you did, just over an hour later. Aaron was still asleep, and you were careful not to wake him. If it took you getting stabbed to get him a few extra hours of sleep, you were making damn sure he got all he could. A nurse came into the room shortly after you woke, and Aaron slept through the check-up. It was your turn to watch him. Admiring the calm in his sleepy features, and gently squeezing the hand still clutching yours. The nurse had let you know he’d been there from the second he'd been allowed in the room. You didn’t need to hear the words. You knew he loved you.

‘You can see them now.’

It had been a longer wait for the rest of the team, who’d arrived shortly after Aaron had left the waiting room. Together they stood and followed the nurse down the hallway into a quieter section of the hospital. Through the open door, they could see you, attached to tubes and wires, but eyes open and sitting up. Next to you was Aaron. The spare visitors seat had been pulled as close to the bed as possible, and that’s where he sat. He was clearly asleep, given the closed eyes and steady breaths. He was leaned slightly towards you, head tilted down. With his sleeves rolled to his elbows, his tie loose around his neck, and his hair in disarray, he looked about as unkempt as the team had ever seen him. But he also looked calm. His usually furrowed brow was relaxed, and his lips forwent their usual downturn in exchange for a slightly parted straight line. Your thumb absentmindedly smoothed over the skin of his knuckles, and you smiled fondly at his sleeping figure. It was sickeningly obvious from your expression that you had so much love for him.

When you finally felt eyes on you, you looked up to see four eager faces greeting you just outside your door. The fond smile on your face only got fonder as they quietly piled into the room. The noise woke Aaron, who’s eyes immediately found yours. Pulling your joined hands up, he pressed his lips to the back of your hand, before straightening up in the seat. He didn’t drop your hand.

Surrounded by your family, you couldn’t help but think that really, you were going to be just fine.

~~~~~

taglist: @michasia24

#aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x reader #x reader #reader insert #gn reader #y/n #bau team #5 + 1 fic #5+1 times

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alyswritings · 2 years

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No Mommy and Me

Request: Hii! Could you write one where Jj daughter is invited to a “mommy and me” tea party at school but her moms not around so she’s upset and jj talks to the pogues about it and Kie and Sarah take her? Or he takes her and ignored the stares? I love your writing!!

Request: Hi!! I’m in love with your writing! Could you maybe write a jj maybank x toddler/daughter where she is upset because she doesn’t have a mom and jj comforts her (maybe by including the pogues, that she is so lucky with a family like that) and maybe also explains where the mom is but you can also skip that ☺️

JJ Maybank x daughter!reader

Warnings: vague mention of luke, but i think that's it

Warnings: none

a/n: thank you for the requests! I added these two together since they gave me a similar vibe. hope you all enjoy!

(gif not mine)

JJ stands outside of the elementary school, waiting for Y/N to get out. Soon enough, all the kids are running out. JJ keeps a close look out for his kid, brightly smiling when he spots his five year old exiting the school.

However, his smile diminishes when he sees her eyes cast down and a pout on her face, her steps slower and less excited than usual. She has a bright pink piece of paper in her hand, her backpack on her shoulders.

"Hey, princess." JJ greets, squatting down so he's level with her. "Where's that adorable little smile?" He asks, brushing his knuckle on her cheek.

"It's gone." Y/N heavily sighs.

"I see that. What's wrong? Did something happen? Are kids making fun of you again?" JJ asks. He knows that a few months ago kids were teasing her for the gap in her teeth -- which he immediately took up with the teacher and principal since he can't exactly get into a fight with a group of five year olds. Though, he did teach Y/N to hit so she got a good punch or two in, which had ended in a two day suspension.

"No. It's nothing." Y/N says.

"Well, if it's nothing then why are you frowning?" JJ asks.

Y/N doesn't answer, just holding the paper in her hand out. JJ takes it, reading the front of it. It's a flyer for a mommy and child thing on Friday.

"Oh." JJ mumbles.

"Can we just go home?" Y/N asks.

"Yeah. Yeah, sure, baby." JJ nods. "C'mon." He holds his hand out and she grabs it, JJ leading her to the car.

- - -

Y/N is outside and laying on the hammock with her coloring book and box of crayons. JJ is inside and going on a rant about the event for Y/N's school.

"I mean, the flyer literally says "mommy and child." Not mommy and daughter, not mommy and son -- mommy and child. So why can't it just say parent and child? Not everybody has a freakin' mom, man."

"Has Y/N said anything?" Kie asks.

"No. She barely talked the whole way home." JJ says.

"Well, one of us could take her if you guys want." Sarah offers, pointing between her and Kie who nods in agreement. "Or if you just wanna go. I mean... show up and prove that dads are important, too."

JJ sighs, walking over to the screen door and to the hammock where Y/N is. He can see the frown on her face as she drops her coloring stuff onto the ground and turns on her side to look out at the ocean.

"Go talk to her, man." John B encourages.

"Yeah. I mean, ask her if she would even want of you guys to go, if she even wants to go." Pope says.

JJ leaves the chateau, walking over to the hammock.

"Hey, princess." JJ greets, tapping Y/N's leg to get her to turn around, but she doesn't.

"Hi." She mumbles. JJ carefully sits on the hammock, his feet going by her and he puts a comforting hand on her shins, rubbing his thumb over her soft skin.

"You okay?" JJ asks her. Y/N huffs and she sits up to face her dad.

"Why don't I have a mommy?" She asks. JJ feels his heart strings pull, wishing he could help her. He knows the pain of not having a mom around and he prayed it wouldn't happen to his baby. But even though he couldn't control that, he'll make sure he doesn't turn into somebody his daughter would be scared of, like his dad to him.

"I don't know, baby. I-- I don't know. I'm sorry." JJ tells her, not really sure how to answer her question.

"Other kids in my class have a mommy. One of the other kids has two mommies. I don't even have one." Y/N states, tears welling in her eyes.

"C'mere." JJ pulls her over to him, resting her against his chest and the dam breaks, quiet sobs coming from the young girl. JJ hugs her, whispering comforting reassurances to her as she cries into his chest.

After her cries subside, JJ doesn't loosen his comforting grip, but starts talking.

"When you were a baby... a really, tiny baby... your mom, she... she went to the mainland... and she-- she didn't come back." JJ says.

"Why?" Y/N asks.

"I don't know. I guess-- I guess she just... wanted to get away." JJ says.

"Did she leave because of me?" Y/N asks, looking up at her dad.

"No. No. None of anything your mother has done is your fault. You are not guilty of anything." JJ firmly tells her. "It was her decision and her choices and if anybody is at fault for the choices she makes, it's her."

"But, you know what? She's really missing out on a beautiful, smart, hilarious little girl who has the kindest heart out there." JJ kisses Y/N's nose making her let out a quiet giggle which warms JJ's heart.

"And who needs her anyway, right? You have Aunt Kie and Aunt Sarah. They're kind of like your moms. You have Uncle Pope and Uncle JB. You have me."

"I like having you guys." Y/N states.

"Well, good, because we like having you." JJ smiles.

The two enjoy the silence for a few moments, the only sound being the waves or an occasional chip of a bird.

"Do you wanna go to that mommy and me thing?" JJ asks. "I can take you. Or one of your aunts can take you if you don't want weird looks for me being there."

"Can all of you take me?" Y/N asks.

"All of us?" JJ asks. "Me and your aunts?"

"You guys and Uncle JB and Popey." Y/N clarifies.

"You want all five of us there?" JJ asks and Y/N nods. "Would all five us be allowed to go?"

"I dunno." Y/N shrugs. "There wasn't a limit on the paper. And if no, then we can leave."

"Okay. All right, it's a date." JJ states. He holds his hand out, Y/N high fiving him.

- - -

That Friday, all five pogues arrive at the elementary school for the mommy and me event. They spot Y/N in the cafeteria, the girl excitedly rushing to all of them. She hugs JJ first before hugging the others.

"Ah, Mr. Maybank." Y/N's teacher walks over to them as JJ picks Y/N up, putting the small girl on his hip.

"Oh, hi, Mrs. Walton." JJ politely smiles.

"Um... this is a mommy and me thing. Are you here to pick her up?" Mrs. Walton asks.

"No, we're here for the event." JJ states.

"All five of you?" Mrs. Walton questions.

"Yep." JJ nods.

"So one of you must be Y/N's mother." Mrs. Walton glances between Kie and Sarah.

"Oh, no. We're her aunts." Sarah states, Kie nodding in confirmation.

"And the other two?"

"Uncles?" John B informs.

"Right. Well, it's mommy and me, but we'll make an exception for daddy and me. But no aunts or uncles." Mrs. Walton says.

"You didn't put that on the flyer." Y/N says.

"Well-- we put mother on the flyer. It-- it seemed clear enough." Mrs. Walton says.

"I love all of them. I want all of them to stay." Y/N states.

"Yeah, besides, that kid has two chicks." John B nods to the young boy who is eating with his moms.

"We frown upon the word "chicks" here." Mrs. Walton sharply tells him.

"Sorry." John B bites his lip, sharing an amused look with the others.

"Mr. Maybank--"

"I want all five of them. I should be allowed to have all five of them." Y/N declares.

"But they aren't all your parents." Mrs. Walton says.

"They all raise me. That's good enough, isn't it?" Y/N asks.

"It does take a village." JJ says.

"I'm sure." Mrs. Walton mumbles. "Fine. Just... don't get too rowdy." She walks off.

JJ high fives Y/N, kissing her cheek.

"Whoo! Let's go have some fun at a, uh... a elementary school function." John B mumbles the last part.

"Act happy." Kie hisses.

"I am." John B says.

Taglist: @glxwingrxse @venomsvl

#jj maybank #jj maybank x daughter reader #jj maybank x daughter!reader #obx jj #outer banks jj #outer banks #john b #john b routledge #kie carrera #sarah cameron #pope heyward #obx

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clockwards · 2 years

Text

i watched all 15 seasons of criminal minds in 29 days. these were my thoughts

----------

Garcia being normal Garcia: 🤪

Hotch, quietly: remind me to have her drug tested

Reid: Kevin and Penelope sitting in a tree? JJ, that's just dangerous, do you know the statistics on-

"yeah I'm fine, he wrote me a letter explaining why he left, just like my father did when he left my mother and I" REID LMAO

Gideon and Hotch giggling happily over charlie chaplin films <3<3 work dads

man with multiple personalities: do I *look* like personality no.2??

Reid [staring directly into the camera]: 👁️👁️

Reid making mini rockets and Hotch being a grumpy proud dad about it fhevfhhevdhsgdvsh THEM

"If I weren't a lesbian, I would absolutely jump your bones" [aimed at Gideon]

psychopath who only wants to talk to Reid: 😚

Reid: why don't i ever get any normal fans :(

Random detective [about Reid]: where did you find this kid?

Rossi, whispering: He was left in a basket on the steps of the FBI

Hotch: we do not have jurisdiction over this very personal set of cases

The Team: 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Hotch: ......okay just be quIET ABOUT IT

Rossi: My wife always said I had a flair for the dramatic

Hotch: Which one?

Rossi: ...all of them 😀

Morgan, Reid, Emily, Garcia [staring Hotch down]: we love and care for you

Hotch: im gonna kms

Rossi, interrogating a suspect: I fucked your wife (real not fake)

Hotch: Son, you're taking over the business

Morgan: Oh! A promotion!?

Hotch [dumping paperwork in front of him]

Morgan: Oh no! A promotion!!

[during Hotch's review after The Reaper incident]

Strauss, to the team: 😡😡 Hotch 😡😡

Strauss, to Hotch: 😔😔 Hotch 😔😔

Hotch: any word on Prentiss?

JJ: she's arguing with the doctors

Hotch, nodding: Good

Hotch: There are lots of ways sons defeat their fathers

Reid, cheerfully: I just keep getting PhD's!

[about budget cuts]

Rossi: Let's just hope they don't take the coffee

Reid, very seriously: I'd quit

Rossi: well yeah, that'd save them about 50 bucks a week

[looking at a machine gun]

Reid: I don't think I have the qualifications to use that

Hotch & Morgan, in unison: You don't.

[the most suspicious man alive, saying something extremely suspicious]

Emily Prentiss: yes sir I will follow you to this dark secluded secondary location

Every member of the BAU: ily

Prentiss, with an arsenal of guns: BACK! BACK, STRANGE CREATURES!

Strauss holding back the entire BAU by the scruffs of their necks like feral cats: I Wish I Had Dogs

Morgan, sending all the press to Reid: 😀

Reid: No more FBI I'm becoming a criminal just to kill you

Strauss: Please hire someone normal

Hotch: Here's Doctor Reid, a child who has never passed a field test

Strauss: I'm literally begging you

Victim: what are you doing????

Unsub: well this is a *gun*, and inside of it are what we call *bullets*

"a member of the team is in jeopardy"

me: is it Reid? I really hope it's Reid.

Garcia: altruism is sexy

Hotch, very seriously: yes it is

The BAU team's nosiness

Reid's secrecy over a girl

- FIGHT -

Random teen: Get fucked old man

Rossi: Gamer on gamer violence. This is so sad.

Blake: I don't have any children...except Reid

Reid: I'm not your child though?

Blake: EXCEPT REID

Anyone: I love you

Reid, just not like other girls: ....Thomas Merton?

Blake: People just need to say what they mean

Reid: Life would be so much easier without chit-chat

[A Tale as Old as Time - Autism Bros™]

Reid: I don't like technology

Garcia: Technology doesn't like you, genius

Rossi: All of my marriages have failed, I'm not exactly what you would call a family man

Hotch: We literally have 5 kids together

[on first meeting]

Hotch: I'm offering you a job hunting psychopaths

Garcia, caught trying to stop animal testing: I *am* a psychopath

Rossi, joining the BAU: I have gotten a first husband, fourth wife, and multiple children just by entering this office. I'm the real family speedrunner

Reid: My dad leaves and suddenly I've got new contenders lining up like it's the bachelor

Hotch: You're not even that great a son

Reid: You were literally first in line

Bomb Squad: You called??

Morgan: Early bird gets the explosive worm, bitch

Hotch: How long do you need to do this impossibly long task that no one else could complete?

Reid: Like 30 minutes

Hotch: Awesome. Do it faster

Reid: I'm arresting you for murder

Cat: ...are we about to kiss?

Cat: You have mommy issues

Reid: L + Ratio. You have daddy issues *worse*

Morgan: It's my turn to be kidnapped and tortured

Reid and JJ: nnOOO MY BRAAAANDD

Alvez: Why won't you be nice to me

Garcia: I'm always nice. Look, this is my nice face 😒

Prentiss: This guy is probably a loner, definitely has commitment issues...

Alvez, just made a full-course meal for his dog: 😤

UnSub: I NEED A DOCTOR

Tara, cocking a gun: I'm not taking appointments

Reid: I need to take some time off to look after my mom

[is arrested for drug posession and murder in Mexico]

Reid: ........so how's my mom?

The Team: We're so worried about Spencer in prison

Reid: I made friend :]

Prentiss: Luke is snarky. You are snarky. Please just try to get along

Garcia: You don't understand. We cancel each other out

Reid, entering prison: I am going to make So Many enemies

Mr Scratch, doing anything: 😏

The Team: It's a trap. Let's go!

Alvez: I can tell, you're a cat person

Prentiss: Got the nine lives to go with it, bitch

Cat: I'm pregnant. It's yours

Reid, shocked: You mean you're not a virgin?!

Cat:

Cat: I wish I killed you the first time round coME HERE-

Prentiss: I need a person I love and trust to relax with

Reid: ....are you gaslighting me into resting?

Prentiss: Yes. And it'll fuckin work.

Barnes: Don't you want to be unit chief? Don't you have....ambitions?

JJ: I'm ambitious about killing you. Wanna see?

Garcia: I hate newbie. He's terrible and stupid and has a dumb face and dumb thoughts-

Alvez: We literally just took a selfie together

Alvez:

Tara: ur mom

Alvez: I DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING SAY ANYTHING?

JJ, married with 2 kids: I'm a little bit in love with you

Reid, who took her on one date 15 years ago: 😯

Rossi: You can't ground me! I'm your dad!!

Prentiss: AND I'M YOUR FUCKING BOSS. GROUNDED!

[Luke and Matt go missing]

Prentiss: The boys! They took our boys!!

Reid: I'm.....right here?

#criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds incorrect quotes

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supercriminalbean · 1 year

Text

Things that made me insane during criminal minds evolution:

Written while I watched so enjoy my bumbling mess. Spoiler alert of course.

This one is long as fuck I'm sorry.

Episode 5:

JJ and Will. I'll call your mum 😂😂 I lost it.

Garcia shouting No repeatly reminds me of a child of a drunk adult refusing to go home.

The way Emily and Rossi are sitting it's like thier watching thier little child.

Dave face while he watches her I can not.

He's literally the dad. One look from her and she slowly goes quite and the. "You done?" Like bruh you are father.

Thoes two are father and daughter and it fixes my daddy issues for 50 minutes at a time.

No one like you deputy douchbag

Rossi and Luke sending him dirty looks is great.

Tara saying Gen z makes me smile for no reason.

Rossi calling deputy douchebag out. I love it when he profiles people it's so fucking soothing for my soul.

Rossi say bullshit and calling him more out. Fuck yes sir call him out my bitch.

Deputy douchebag you really think profiler can't read you think again dumbass.

Emily proud of Dave yet has to take deputy douch out of the room before more damage is done.

Emily is so fucking hot when she calls him out tho. Fucking love it when she profiles.

Son of a bitch coming from Dave is so hottt.

Why have I always gotten enemies to lovers vibes from Penelope and Tyler.

Luke and Penelope are end game always butttt.

I feel Rossi having more fun that he really should be setting thoes two to be working together.

Tyler wears crocs😂😂

Feet off the table bitchhh.

Garcia earrings are amazinggg.

Tyler asking about the catsssss.

Dave explaining thingggs it's so cuteeee.

Penelope catching on because of Reid ahh thier friendship is the best.

Penelope and Dave have and continues to be one of my fav duos.

WILL DOESN'T HAVE CANCER FUCK YESS. NOTHING LIFE THEARTNING WE ALLGOOD.

Will has good points just saying. Also I think it's time JJ should leave the BAU for her family. Do I want her to go. Fuck no she's the best.

Oh if they kill her off the season imma become an unsub.

Pinky swear 😍😍😭😭

JJ and Will own my heart.

Emily and Tara please step on me.

Benjamin mum is a dickface.

"I'll say he tricked you" grabs cup quickly so no one can asks questions.

The look Rossi gives her, he's like. Girl your issues are showing.

Ha! Tyler you just got told bitch!

He mentioned black queen. Protective Davey let's go.

Nah Dave come on you should of punched that man.

Luke go talk to Garcia she's needs you.

Penelope calling herself mama ahhh. Imma whore for her.

Prentiss unbuttoning her top and scaring deputy douchbag is great.

Yesss Mommy Prentiss 😍😍. Luke just smirked at the bullsack sentence. He's like ahh good she's arrived

Prentiss playing mommy is hot. She can be my mommy anyday.

This is giving me early Emily Prentiss vibessss fuck I miss it.

Ahh he knows shit, Prentiss is good. Deputy douch fuck off.

Tara needs more boss ass bitch scenes.

Dave acting as of he can't use technology all of sudden. Bitch did you forget your a gamer? Like it's mentioned a few times mainly on a console yes but still. Bitch you know technology you use it daily Dave.

Is Dave trying to set them up or some shit?

HE BROUGHT HER A CAT!?!

I really don't like the way they are getting along. But also like the second they met I knew it. But LUKE AND GARCIA IS LOVE. But this is new love... but I don't like it. Maybe.

Prentiss is love. She a bad bitch. Don't therten her you litter ass bitch I'll fight her. Emily stand ya ground.

Deputy douchbag grow some balls.

Sicarius is hot. I'm sorry I'm a whore for a man like him. And I opps.

Haha bitch you dead.

Deputy douch this your fault.

Go off Emily go offffff.

Cat. Catttt. Cute cat. Tyler holding cat is Hella cute.

But Dave seriously we needa talk. This man is who you want to be dating the girl you see as a daughter. SERIOUSLY?! DO YOU DISLIKE LUKE THAT MUCH?!?!

Is JJ and Luke in trouble?..I'm scared.

Tyler still holding cat fucking hell.

I'm scared. JJ DONT DO IT. Ahh she's ringing him I wanna cry. Stay by the car please.

Deputy douch shutting up finally.

Emily voice waver on the please.

I'm sorry I started laughing at Penelopes. Oh no..

Tara and Luke are bestie like I know they all family but thoes two remind me of Derek and Spencer and I. Ow.

Rossi can't handle anymore deaths please.

I mean we all know no ones gonna die cos like they aren't gonna do that but still.

Oooh what if this is how they bring back Reid or Hotch or even my Morgan 😍😋 just like they run to the hospital cos JJ is hurt.

So is that when Penelope confesses to Luke that she's is love orrrr do I have to wait longer for that?

#criminal minds evolution #criminal minds #cme spoilers #emily prentiss #david rossi #jennifer jareau #jj #penelope garcia #tara lewis #luke alvez #will lamontagne #aaron hotchner #spencer reid #derek morgan #garvez

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storymaker14 · 6 months

Text

Author's Notes, Parts One and Two

If you haven't read the story before the author's notes... what are you doing?!? Go back and read the thing first!

Author’s Notes, 15 April 2023:

That… is so much better. Even if it’s still meh, it’s so much better than my first try. Ugh.

I originally wrote it just with Saavik mourning Spock on her own. And it was shit. Like, really, it was absolute fecal matter. Now that it’s rewritten literally six months later, and it’s at a point where I’ll (as of writing these notes) read it over again one more time in the morning, correct anything glaring and sand down anything in need of smoothening, and then most likely actually post it, I feel much much better.

So let’s talk about the elephant in the room. On-screen canon absolutely does show the young reborn Spock facing pon farr on the Genesis Planet, and Saavik being super affectionate for a Vulcan once this becomes clear. It shows Young!Spock absolutely not showing signs of blood fever (aka plak tow) in the following hours or days, which indicates that his pon farr, um, urges, were, um, satisfied. And it also shows Saavik not really being able to face Spock when he’s fully restored to himself afterwards, instead finding the floor very fascinating. And at the beginning of the next movie, Saavik is staying on Vulcan for… reasons. Reasons unstated on-screen. Reasons very clearly stated in previous drafts of the script, but cut later. And yes, those reasons. And we never see Saavik again. Her actress came back on TNG (and Babylon 5!), and Valeris from the sixth movie was originally supposed to be her, but in the end no more Saavik. Fast forward to TNG, and Captain Picard mentions, when they're bringing Sarek aboard, that he'd met him before, at the wedding of his son. Given Sybok was dead by the time Picard was born, unless we're going to find YET ANOTHER surprise Sarek child... that's Spock, canonically having married.

And then we have the fact that, for a little while, the books (RIP, forever too soon) did have Spock and Saavik getting married, and still being married in the late 2370s. Unfortunately, this ended up being ignored, and I do think eventually contradicted, but come on. Vulcan’s Heart was a really good book, and when a certain other Vulcan needed to prove who he was in the first Titan novel and did so by sending Spock regards from his wife? Nice.

And then we include the Romulan supernova, which in the books where the Spock/Saavik marriage was a thing briefly… never came up.

So, this isn’t canon on screen, and it doesn’t particularly correspond to the Destiny / First Splinter book timeline either. It’s kinda my own sandbox, but only in the sense that I took sand from, like, two or three different boxes and sifted it all together. At least that first part is.

As for the message from Spock... remember how I said the first version was shit? Let me amend that: I copied what I wrote for that message the first time, added one sentence and a half of another (obviously), and otherwise left it as is. That part, I liked from the first pass.

The bits from New Vulcan? Yup, that’s the Kelvinverse from the JJ Abrams films. Totally surprised me on the first pass when I realized hey, that would be a fun thing to add. Took a sledgehammer to the first draft of that, too, but not quite as extensively. Basically the first part, I made longer and better, and the second part, I made shorter and better. And kept the middle as is. (Also, does that make it four sandboxes?)

(Oh, I almost forgot: Trek movies II, III, and IV are about the only places where the fact that Saavik is half-Vulcan, half-Romulan doesn’t come up. So while it’s technically not canon… it’s close enough. Plus it explains why she cussed toward the beginning of II, and openly cried at Spock’s funeral at the end.)

Also, the first version existed when Kirstie Alley died in December 2022, and I probably should have rewritten it then, but I’ve never been good at forcing my muse to arrive. Besides, Ms Alley was great but Robin Curtis is my Saavik. (Oh, shoot, I made a reference in the first draft that implied Saavik looked like Curtis, not Alley. I’ll see if I can drop it in, but if I can’t, I shan’t be upset. [Note from last re-read before posting: I didn't. Oh well.])

In case you hadn’t noticed, I write in stream of consciousness sometimes.

Thanks to the late Leonard Nimoy and to Zachary Quinto, for portraying the versions of Spock that show up. Thanks to Ethan Peck, whose Spock doesn’t show up but is awesome anyway. Thanks to the late Kirstie Alley and to Robin Curtis, for being Saavik. Thanks to the late Ben Cross (whole lotta late on this one, boo) and the even later Mark Lenard, for the Sarek who shows up and for Sarek in general. Thanks as always to Memory Alpha and Memory Beta. Two things about Beta that I want to point out here: one, it gave me the name T’Val, which yes is a reference to something, and ten thousand Trekkie points to anyone who knows without going to Memory Beta; two, Star Trek Beyond took place in 2263 and Memory Beta says Saavik was born in 2264, which I didn’t actually know until I went looking for her parents’ names but was just, *chef’s kiss*.

LLAP, y’all.

Author's Notes, 11 December 2023:

This was originally posted on another site back in April, but since I tend to get a scosh more attention here than there, plus it's become my go-to place to put the stuff I write... well, here it is.

Sorry if anyone was excited to read something spicy or steamy, and ended up disappointed. What's interesting is that, judging from the dates on everything, this is the last piece of fiction I wrote before I started on The State of Our Union in earnest, because the earliest notes I can find on that were from about a week after I posted this initially.

Also, this is not the only Trek stuff I've written. Not even close. I might move that over here as well at some point. We shall see. (SPOILER: I did.)

Of course, now that Strange New Worlds has boldly gone in new directions, I kind of want to figure out a meeting between Chapel and Saavik... maybe with a little La'an as a nice bonus.

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navree · 1 year

Note

What do you think of Jaehaerys the old?

I'm mixed on Jaehaerys, actually. Unlike most other people in my corner of ASOIAF/HOTD fandom, I'm actually not that anti Targ ("they're colonizers" white on white crime doesn't bother me in any way whatsoever and also the Targs won that round fair and square and if you use that rhetoric I better be seeing essays on Nymeria the colonist given that the Rhoynar were much more of a traditional colonial force in Dorne to the point where they feel mildly analogous to the pilgrims and also it's all fictional and not real so who cares). So my issues with ole JJ are more about the kind of person he was than just being a Targaryen king.

I'm willing to give him props. For one, he had a hard early life, beyond becoming king quite young, the entire reason he was king at all was because both of his brothers were gruesomely killed by his bloodthirsty and psychopathic uncle, and his mother and sisters were at various points prisoners of Maegor and Visenya, and at one point he was a prisoner of Visenya himself before she died and he was able to flee with Alyssa and Alysanne. It's why I'm more lenient than most on his anger at Saera following her scandal, because while it's scummy that he's angry at her for exploring her sexuality in a way he never would have been if this was one of his sons (but also for being a bitch towards his fool that was the main instigating thing before it went off the rails), Saera responding to that with "I should get three husbands because Maegor had six wives" to someone whose older brothers were 1) eaten by Maegor's dragon and 2) tortured to death by Maegor's people on Maegor's orders because Maegor was angry at Jaehaerys (having a relative die due to your actions is always going to be an emotional mindfuck, it's why Louis Philippe makes me so sad) is monumentally stupid, I'm not surprised that he was incredibly furious that she'd be so callous about Maegor after everything Maegor put him through. I also think that Jaehaerys was a genuinely good administrator, along with being an excellent politician (say what you want about it but the Doctrine of Exceptionalism was a stroke of genius), and I have a soft spot for good politicians and rulers who are actually good at their jobs and are actually capable of and interesting in governance, not just Being The King. Jaehaerys was, in fact, able to bring stability and prosperity to the realm, he did basically instill a pax Targaryeana that likely would have lasted a really long time if his successor wasn't an idiot. And as someone who maintains that birthright monarchy is a scam, I'm fine with Jaehaerys making the decision of his succession the most democratic version of power transferal Westeros has ever seen (just wish it hadn't been so sexist).

Because yeah, my main issue with Jaehaerys is his appalling sexism. He treated nearly all of the women in his life pretty badly, while I'm willing to give him something of a pass for Saera, he's not that great with any of his other daughters, or any of his sisters, reducing them oftentimes to just their value as marriage material and broodmares (like when he said that it didn't matter that his firstborn child, a daughter, wasn't his heir because she was gonna marry his son and be queen anyway, motherfucker you know that queen consort and queen regnant are two different things). Literally forcing Daella to get married despite what appear to be some severe developmental delays and also just the fact that she did not want to be married is also just so gross, and just in general constantly having Alysanne be pregnant when she didn't particularly want to be is just Not It, dude, especially as she got older and these pregnancies visibly got harder and harder on her. And while his administration was good and his overall treatment of the realm was good, what tangible positives changes did he instill for the actual people? Things like wanting to abolish First Night and pushing for the Widow's Law were Alysanne's initiatives from her women's courts, that's why they're called Queen Alysanne's laws specifically. And personality wise, as a character, he's dull. Other than the early life stuff when he was a prince and then a young king, Jaehaerys does nothing for me. He just feels incredibly bland as a person, and while being a horrible fictional man is forgivable crime, being a boring one isn't. That's a death penalty offense. Ya basic Jaehaerys.

#personal #answered #anonymous #the maegor stuff is interesting to me #the emotional toll of everything maegor did is also very interesting to me #but the rest of it..........eh #good politician i always appreciate good politicians but horrifically sexist and just kinda beige as a character

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elfboyeros · 1 year

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♧Bookstone-Corals Children

♡So Aurora takes after Amthea, I.E. she's extremely delicate health-wise, and in the whole prime and proper appearance. Physical appearance looks like a perfect combination of Indigo and Calvin, besides inheriting Anotoniettes's red hair {Aurora's hair is more pink than red for reasons, think like a pink and red sorbet type deal}. She's a healer like her dad and has taken after him with her love of the epee {a type of fencing sword} She also enjoys playing the Violin and like the study of the body, as well as Chemistry and Philosophy.

The eldest child, She feels responsible for Alex and Finn and feels bad that her baby brother has to be the "protector" because she isn't physically capable of doing so. She leans toward her grandparents {Amthea, Finnian, and Gabriel, Calvin's dad's} like she has no favorite parent because she loves her grandparents just a bit more

Her full name is Aurora Marguerite Bookstone-Corals, named after Indigo and Calvin's grandmothers, they flipped a coin to pick what her first name would be and the other would be her middle name Indigo won that coin flip. Calvin's nickname for her is Nothern Lights, and Indigo's nickname for her is Cerise {cherry in French}

◇Alexandria takes after Calvin in both personality and appearance all friendly and optimistic but with an extreme liking for jokes and pranks, the classic class clown. They do take after their mother when it comes to being a scholar {Not like when sleep deprivation more like in the want and drive.} Enjoying all fields of study, but have a love for botany, literature, and math. They have an interest in Magic and witchcraft as well.

They are the middle children that often gets in trouble for the pranks they pull. Outwardly seen as unserious, they are unbelievably ambitious and not to add powerful, but not many see that. In a favorite parent is Calvin mostly because they are so much alike, or so it seems.

Their full name is Alexandria Fletcher Bookstone-Corals, Calvin wanted to name one of his children after his grandfather and Indigo enjoyed the feminine version of the name Alexander, their middle name was Indigo's choice of a name. Calvin's nickname for them is Sunflower, and Indigo's nickname for them is Trickster.

♤Finnegan is very much his mother's child, more so his grandfather's grandson, but that's mostly in appearance, but in personality, he's tired and has his grandfather and great aunts short-temper, which causes him to get into fights a lot, but has his father's smile {Literally, he and Calvin smile's are almost identical}. He is very much a mage like his momma but does use a sword his father made, so not a complete copy of mommy. He likes History along with the study of sea creatures, animals, and bugs.

Dispute being the youngest, he has been given the role of protector over his siblings, mostly because he has proven that he is not only physically capable to do so, but he wants to be like his mom, I.E. be a talented archmage. Though he does get distracted, being a hopeless romantic and all. He is obviously a momma's boy.

His full name is Finnegan Rochelle Bookstone-Corals, Indigo told Calvin if she ever had a son she would name him Finnegan to honor her father, and Calvin had no objections, His middle name was Calvin's choice of a name if Finnegan was girl. Indigo's nickname for him is Miel {which Means honeydew in French} whereas Calvin doesn't have one besides calling him sprout as a kid, not because he doesn't want to give him a nickname but because he doesn't think the ones he gives him really fit, but he does call him my boy often.

@karaboutmyart @jj-pines @lerenee

#oc #shelter #indigo #bridgehid #original character #calvin #indigo x calvin #aurore #finnegan #original writing #coralstone #coralstone babies #Alexandria

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lizajane2 · 1 year

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Outer Banks 1x09

The way Ward really believed Sarah would be okay with any of the shit that just happened. After finding out that you actually murdered John B's dad and then not giving a shit that your son just shot a police officer... she's never gonna feel safe with him ever again. Sarah is a genuinely good person. Don't know what they were thinking.

"Do you realize what you've done?" No, no he doesn't and he's not crying cause he feels guilty or remorse, he's just feeling sorry for himself huge difference. There's something really wrong with Rafe mentally and he gets it from Ward.

"You might end up in the lion's den, but you don't go there on purpose."

Okay as someone who works for a public defender's office, you never ever speak to them without a lawyer present. EVER. If you're innocent, you have nothing to worry about but even then, you should have an attorney present. "Cause everything you do and say can be held against you in the court of law." They're not lying about that shit.

I hate the amount of gaslighting from the parents in this show. It's insane. Let's just go through the list of charges for Ward shall we, murder, accomplice to murder, manslaughter, multiple accounts of aggravated assault and battery, attempted kidnapping, child endangerment, false imprisonment, and premeditated murder. I might be missing a few or more.

"And I wonder if the cops got the entire place staked out. Let me think. Oh, yeah, no. They definitely have that place locked down." JJ's sarcasm is perfection here.

Honestly, Pope getting high is the best thing to ever happen to him.

"He's a maniac." Bitch, I think that's you.

She could've been a little nicer about rejecting Pope, like yeah you don't feel the same way but fuck that was harsh Kie.

If someone doesn't talk about you and how it feels to be with you in the same way John B talks about being with Sarah, "Sometimes it's scary, it's like getting struck by lightning and not getting burned," Then you might wanna re-evaluate your feelings. Yeah, JB, you're in love with her and you got it bad.

Topper's version is more like obsession mixed with lust and passion. The kind of love that makes you crazy, makes you someone you're not. And you confuse it with being in love with the way they make you feel rather than in love with the person. Which is very different. Things like "I'm the one who loves you. He can't love you the way I can," all that is rooted in narcissism.

John B and Sarah literally have my heart, I love them. Hate how they got together but they're really cute. Like even though she doubted when he first told her about Ward and called John B a liar, she still believed him.

#outer banks #outer banks season 1 #john b routledge #jj maybank #kiara carrera #pope heyward #sarah cameron

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mackenzielovee · 2 years

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I feel like yesterday's parenthood chapter established that Connor is his father's son in the fact that he would literally end anyone over his mom and Josie but also like he's so sweet and would never hurt a fly. But also, Josie is a freaking badass and is her daddy's girl to her core the way she punched JJ's child bro !!!!! I was unwell.

Maybe even more unwell that she wanted to make sure her and rafe were okay after the fact though. This family has a chokehold on me.

The way Rafe stood up to the principal though?? sexy.

You're literally already a famous author in my head ok

definitely! thank you so much, sweetness 💜 i appreciate it and i’m happy you enjoyed

#t my love <3 #ask!

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s-brant · 3 years

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Twin Flame (6/8)

(gif: @wodohwan) (PART FIVE) (PART SEVEN) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: Y/N has to face her punishment for the fight and finds herself stuck in in-school-suspension for the rest of the day, but, little does she know, JJ has other plans for her.

Word Count: 16.5k

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, oral sex (male receiving), implied parent/child abuse, and fluff.

A/N: Welcome back to Tokens! Sorry for the wait and thank you for your patience. As you can see with the length of this, there’s a reason this chapter took a little longer to write, so I hope the wait was worth it. Thank you for all of your love and support on this fic, and if you enjoyed this, I’d be happy to hear your thoughts. Have fun!

JJ (Affectionate) u still got ur phone in there?

Knowing him, she probably should've expected him to not give up without a fight, but what she hadn't expected, after thirty short minutes of sitting idle in the ISS room, was to get this text.

A minute passes of him sitting in the stairwell to the science wing before he sends his next text. Though she managed to sneak her phone in down the front of her pants while the security guard/prison warden wasn't looking, the opportunities to check the phone are slim to none, so she feels it buzz incessantly against the lower half of her abdomen beneath her jeans and ignores it.

JJ (Affectionate) if u read this, send back something random

The silence of the room is what drives her out of her mind. The truth is, it isn't silence at all. It's a staticky, anxious silence that grows louder with the passing minutes marked by the ticking of the hand on the wall clock she's one more tick away from smashing with a hammer. Between the ticking, the security guard violently chewing on his sandwich enough to make her grimace, and the overall hum of the remaining quiet, she is officially losing it.

They don't let her do anything. No music, no school work, no books, and certainly no phones. The only thing she's allowed to do is sit at the desk, stare at the wall, and think herself into a rabbit hole of thoughts about how much she'd rather be in class or in out of school suspension instead. Though her principal acted like ISS was a merciful choice compared to the stain of a full-on suspension on her permanent record, it's a lot less enjoyable. Compared to this, out of school suspension sounds like a dream.

It's when the man turns his back to throw away the Subway wrapper across the room and look for the hand sanitizer in the back closet that she scrambles to pull her phone out of her pants to read the messages.

Kief Princess Something random

He rolls his eyes, then types his quick reply with his head leaned against the side railing of the stairway.

JJ (Affectionate) i'm gonna jump right into it cuz we don't have time but just know i thought that was corny as hell and u didn't get away w it

She glances back and forth between the three dots on the corner of her phone screen to the open closet door where Alec—he introduced himself—riffles through the contents of the shelves. With the fates on her side, it happens to be that Alec is a brand new hire for Kildare County High's shoddy campus security, and this is his first time in the ISS room, so his search for the sanitizer is painfully drawn-out.

Whatever it was JJ is up to, he has luck on his side in terms of who was chosen to watch over her punishment today. The poor son of a bitch has no clue what's coming. JJ is by far not the worst troublemaker in this school, and his degree of misbehaving is often exaggerated on Janice's part whenever they see each other, but he isn't necessarily the angel Y/N thinks he is either. Most of the security team is familiar enough with him.

JJ (Affectionate) all i need u to do is leave a window open

JJ (Affectionate) ur gonna hear a commotion in the hallway (don't ask) and ask ur guy what it is. when he walks out, leave the rest up to me, k?

Kief Princess This is literally so stupid

JJ (Affectionate) too late. already on my way

Well, she guesses that's that. There's not much anyone can do to change his mind once he's decided he's going to do something, and now that he set his sights on busting her out of their school's jail equivalent, she knows there's no turning back.

Her head pops up from looking at her phone to see Alec reaching for the sanitizer stuffed behind value packs of Post-It notes, and she shoves her the device back down the front of her jeans to resume looking at the wall like nothing happened. The room's oddly loud silence returns to her once he walks back to the desk, humming in her ears along with her thundering heartbeat from the adrenaline of anticipating JJ's antics.

She offers the balding man a tight-lipped smile that doesn't reach the eyes.

What the hell is gonna happen? What kind of "commotion" did he have planned to draw him out of the room? Millions more questions are flooded into the free space of her mind, making her leg bounce beneath the desk before she catches herself and wills it to remain still. If she doesn't want the security guard to suspect anything, she needs to act natural and sell her naive, unassuming goody two shoes act like she's DiCaprio fiending for a golden statue.

It begins within the next thirty seconds with her propping her elbows up on the surface of the desk and waving her hands in her face to mimic the effect of a fan. It doesn't make him look up at first, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that he sees it in his peripheral vision and it establishes a foothold in his subconscious before she revs it up into overdrive.

She used a bathroom break five minutes into this due to the bottle of water she downed in her first class, so, unable to stray from her desk without permission for the foreseeable future since nobody realistically pisses that much without a UTI, she needs him to open the window on her behalf. And after watching her friends con people into believing anything they wanted during their pursuit of the gold over summer break, she's prepared to take a page from their rule book.

It starts with sighs.

Frustrated, whiny sighs that she drags up from the worst memories of discomfort and annoyance she has, some including her visit to this cursed room, escape her with ease. Those, paired with the hands waving with increased vigor at her face, catch his attention after two full minutes of pretending not to hear them.

His voice rumbles from a place deep within his chest, low enough in pitch to startle her after the reign of silence, "What is it?"

Already annoyed. Good, that'll make it easier. The more frustrated he is with her, the quicker he'll be to snap and comply to her simple request in an effort to get her to shut up and be done with it. She sighs, slumping down in her seat and fanning herself harder.

"I'm, like, really hot right now, but I know it's against the rules for me to get up for anything but the bathroom, so can you open a window?"

Before he can think about responding with the big fat "no" like she thinks he will, she pulls out the trick she had saved in case she saw him look as against it as he does now.

"You have no idea how bad today was. My boyfriend's ex got into a fight with me, so I defended myself and look where it led me? So much for the justice system, am I right? Then, I just got my period when I came down here"—the mischievous side of her feels somewhat proud at the male disgust she conjures on his reddened face at that—"The cramps would be bad enough, but, my goodness, the hot flashes. You wouldn't even believe—"

For the next minute or so, she rambles. She spews sentence after sentence of exasperating, irksome ranting about her contrived problems since, fortunately for her, the only thing truthful about what she said is the fight with Kacey. The borderline grotesque detail she dives into with it pushes him to believe her, however, and she can see her tactics working their magic the longer she's given to work on him.

She continues until he can't stand it any longer.

"...If you've ever had food poisoning, it's like that if I don't do anything to help it fast enough. Just full body sweat dripping out of every pore with the stomach cramps and nasty dia—"

Alec stands up in a huff that cuts off her overly detailed retelling of a nonexistent food poisoning tale and how it compares to her fake menstrual symptoms.

He sends the chair slamming into the wall behind the desk with the swiftness he uses to push himself in the direction of the nearest window to him. The sound of his steps reverberate her victory back to her in the pattern of a thumping step sequence that leads him to unlock and swing the window open into the direction of the parking lot.

Through the smudgy glass, likely neglected for weeks at a time by the understaffed janitorial team, she can make out the blue and red coloring of JJ's bike sitting in the spot closest to the window. There's a stretch of grass fifty or so feet long that separates the windows from the bike itself, but she feels herself fighting a smile at the thought of him rolling his bike from the other side of the lot in preparation for the last-minute plan.

Her attention comes back to what's happening inside the school quickly though, following his stompy feet on his path back the desk as he mutters something about her finally shutting up under his breath.

The rolling chair squeaks beneath him when he sinks down into it for the second time, and that is when they both pick up on the sound coming from the hallway. Right on time, though she never expected otherwise from him, is the "commotion" JJ promised outside of the classroom door.

Alec's face scrunches up in curiosity.

"Do you hear that?" he asks.

Faintly, from the far end of the hallway where they both know no other classes reside due to the auditorium taking up the entire other side, the sound of what seems like a body behind thrown up against the lockers reaches them. It happens once, twice, again, again, and again until it suddenly stops short with a boy's groans of pain growing louder.

Their eyes meet, and she forces a concerned look into her face.

The thought of JJ running full speed into the lockers to mimic the sound of someone being thrown into them in a fight, much like the one she partook in earlier, comes to mind and makes her chest shake with the urge to laugh. It probably isn't what he's doing. In fact, it isn't, he's banging his textbook into different lockers on his way down the hallway with all of his strength and pretending to groan in agony, but it amuses her all the same.

"It sounds like someone's getting beat up!" she muses, then gestures to the door as he sits there for another second in contemplation, "Aren't you gonna help them?"

He stares back at her, unconvinced.

"Jesus, dude, you're useless! I'll do it myself," she mutters with genuine annoyance now that she's seen how ineffective he'd be in the event of a real emergency.

That, along with seeing her jump into action in pursuit of the half-open door, manages to finally get his lazy ass out of the rolling chair after a full twenty seconds of hearing a helpless student struggle in a fight he's clearly losing in. No wonder it took an eternity for a staff member to come to break up her and Kacey's fight. If this is how they train them, it doesn't surprise her that Kildare has so many each week.

The room passes in her peripheral vision in a blur on her rushed sprint from her desk at the front of the room out into the empty hallway before Alec can get his grubby little paws on her. His shouting is close behind as she rounds the corner out of the room and runs straight into the solid force of a familiar body, prompting him to drop alongside his backpack to the floor and clutch his head in pretend pain.

A gasp is drawn from her involuntarily, not from any sophisticated acting skills of her own but because JJ's bleeding from the edge of his hairline down into his face, and it takes her more time than it should to remember it's fake. Asking for Pope's extra ketchup and mixing it with the syrup he got for his sorry excuse for waffles proved to be quite effective in making it look like he's bleeding. Though, his already bruised and beat up face from his dad lashing out on him helps too.

Ultimately, it's the glimpse of blood from around where she kneels in front of his crumpled form that stops Alec from demanding she returns to the classroom. It turns his face as white as paper, and she thinks for a second that the poor guy might faint from it. Thank God this school isn't too dangerous. Trusting the care of the students into this wimp’s hands would not set her at ease in the slightest.

She holds JJ's face in her hands and turns his head in each direction to "examine" the wound atop his head, and she spins around to yell at the security guard, "What's wrong with you? Go get the other guy, I just saw him run into the auditorium! You can't just let him leave!"

And, of course, JJ just has to add onto it, groaning with the act of a disoriented person that hit their head one too many times.

"He—" he says, then cuts himself off with a wince in response to her careful prodding, "He jumped me and stole my wallet out of my bag. That's all the money I have, you have to get it back..."

After what felt like eons to her, his weak, strangled words send Alec running as fast as his legs can take him to the side entrance of the auditorium at the end of the hallway, and they watch until he disappears between the double doors.

In the high of their accomplishment, she wonders how the hell she managed to pull that off. She typically can't lie for shit. It's always weighed too heavily on her heart for her to bother with it, but when faced with JJ springing this on her last minute, she had to either step up to the plate or ruin the entire thing. Not to mention, she's already beat up Kacey, gone to ISS, and now conned the new security guard into letting her out, so there's not much left to lose today.

At the echo of the double doors shutting, the grimace washes away from his features to reveal a smile she knows too well, and he reaches up to take the hand she extends to him. It doesn't take much additional force to help him up. Her brain is still half-convinced, despite her assuring herself it's fake, that he's actually hurt and needing her help, pulling on the hand connected to his with the bulk of her strength. It has him standing to his feet in seconds with his backpack swinging onto one shoulder, and she can't help but smile back.

He doesn't drop her hand now that he's standing steadily on two feet. Actually, his grip tightens on it as she's pulled back through the doorway to the classroom in pursuit of the window Alec so graciously unlocked and opened for them, though it's not like she gave him much of a choice in the matter.

She blurts out to break her silence by the time she's guided all the way to the window, "What the hell is this?"

It doesn't take explaining to understand her intention behind the question when it was asked so incredulously, she couldn't have been referring to anything other than his batshit crazy plot to break her out of ISS for no reason other than he felt like it. That was part of being with him that she still has yet to adjust to: the impulsivity that has plunged so many of his and their friends' situations into chaos. It goes against everything she is as a person, but would it be crazy if she said she liked it?

Where she falters, he continues, and where she thinks things through before continuing, he doesn't, so it only makes sense in her brain that they gravitated toward each other.

Before today, the peak of her impulsivity consisted of choosing whether she wanted toast or off-brand Cheerios for breakfast. Today is a rarity in her book of craziest things she's done, and, usually, they add balance to each other's lives. She's the one who can get through to him when no one else can and force him to think for a second before acting, and he's the one to take her by the hand and drag her headfirst into the thrilling things she'd never be brave enough to do on her own.

He tosses their backpacks through the window, then hops through the wide opening himself, landing the bottom of his boots firmly onto the overgrown grass on the other side. His hands are outstretched to beckon her through, and when she takes them into hers and jumps out of the classroom window onto the ground in front of him, he finally answers her.

"Operation liberation, baby," JJ says as if it were the most obvious conclusion, and he leans down to plant a lingering kiss to her lips before pulling away a second or two later to ask, "You really thought I'd let them take you alive?"

Her laughter fills the brief space between them as their bodies part, and she shakes her head at his explanation for it.

"You're insane, like actually crazy. Have you gotten yourself checked out for that? It's ISS, not maximum security prison. I would've been fine."

The sun shines down on him from behind to halo him in the light, amplifying the tones of his golden hair around the edges to coincide with her habit of calling him an angel. In this moment, she's never felt so alive. It's due to a mixture of different things, but it's mostly the adrenaline of what they did and the sheer happiness of knowing that he wants her back. It was never defined, and he never said anything specific, but it was enough for to know he wanted it to be a date too. For now, that's the closest he can come to saying what he feels.

His arms are twined around her waist to keep her pulled into him the whole time, and she forgets entirely about everything else with the feeling of him touching her in the forefront of her mind. It doesn't occur to her that they're on a time sensitive mission, or that Alec is due to put two and two together after storming into an empty auditorium on behalf of them. In a moment of willing tunnel vision, all she can think of is him.

"Yeah but how would we go on our date then?"

Her brows raise, a smile creeping onto her face against her will.

"Since when do we have a date tonight?" she asks.

His fingertips drum at her lower back absentmindedly, the same repetitive, mindless motions he often makes to keep himself from bursting out of his skin with unexpended energy. It almost distracts her attention from looking up at his face, but it can't possibly succeed. He's too captivating to look away from.

"Since now. I'm broke, so it ain't anything special, but it's—"

She watches in real time as the lighthearted expression painting his features melts away into a wide-eyed look of panic at whatever it is he sees through the windows behind her turned back. It has her smile dropping simultaneously, and she's about to turn around again to see what wiped the excited look off of his face when he dips down to scoop up their backpacks. He hands hers off to her quickly, the bag of heavy books and binders hitting the center of her chest as he scrambles to slip his onto his body.

"We gotta go right now," he says, as she gets her bearings with the backpack, and rushes her along. "Like right now. Your bald security dude just saw us and he was not happy about it."

The sound of the outside door at the end of the auditorium's hallway opening and closing reaches them from the end of the small grassy field, and he's already pulling her away by her arm once she catches a glimpse of Alec coming straight toward them. He's yelling at them from far away, approaching rapidly enough to set her feet into motion behind JJ in the direction of his bike.

His hand is clasped around her wrist hard enough to bruise but she pays it no mind. She's too busy glancing back over her shoulder and shouting, "Go, go, go!" at him whenever she sees how quickly Alec is advancing on them.

His backpack is slung on the front of his body, not the back, and she realizes it was on purpose once they make it halfway to the bike. Since she'll be riding on the back of it, he needed room for her to wrap her arms around his back without the bag in between them.

She nearly trips over her feet a couple of times from how much faster he is than her with their hands connected between them, but she manages to keep herself upright the rest of the way to the bike. And though what they're doing promises a full-blown, out of school suspension for them, she doesn't care. For the first time in two months, she isn't overthinking herself into a void of negativity and grief, she's having fun.

He gets to the parked bike quicker than she can, and he drops her wrist in favor of fishing his keys out of his back pocket in a frantic effort to get the engine turned over before their escape plans get thwarted by the new security guard.

The feeling of her jumping onto the back of the bike behind him as he turns the key in the ignition reminds him of the countless other times she's ridden on the back of it, but this time is different. This time, she isn't just his friend. She isn't his secret hookup or John B's little sister either.

Her arms slip around his waist to intertwine her hands at the front of him and keep herself locked onto him. The blend of adrenaline and excitement has her holding onto him tighter than usual, and he welcomes it.

The bike's rumbling engine kicks on right when they need it most. The roaring noise of it is offensive to her ears at such a close proximity, but she isn't compelled to care with bigger matters at hand—like the man running across the grass to them right now. There's no point in worrying about him anymore, though. He's twenty or so feet behind them, meanwhile JJ's hand is already wrapped around the throttle.

Before he's able to twist it toward them to send the vehicle forward, she lifts one hand in the air to wave goodbye to the man sprinting his way to where they sit atop the bike.

"It was nice meeting you!"

Her arm shoots back out to grab onto JJ's waist again as they're sent jolting forward with just enough time to spare under the sharp pull of the throttle. She thinks she feels his chest move with laughter beneath where she squeezes him half to death to prevent herself from flying off the back seat.

Only Y/N would go along with one of his stupid plans like this, and he lives for it. He loves the sound of the delighted little shriek coming from the girl sitting behind him at the speed they take the first turn at, thighs pressing into both sides of his hips with a snug pressure that keeps her as close to him as physically possible. He loves the polite parting words she had for Alec, ever the good girl he grew up alongside even when indulging in his troublesome hijinks. He loves everything about her. Always has, always will.

The wind blows her hair around her head and whips it around in every foreseeable direction. And it hurts to be hit with the floating strands being blown into her face, but the wind itself against her skin feels like heaven after being trapped in the dank ISS room for half an hour. Her head tilts up to the sky for a short second of appreciation, and the bandana, returned to its rightful place around her neck, tickles her skin where it flutters against it in the powerful wind.

Gradually, her circulation-cutting hold on his body eases up until her hands rest softly against the firm muscles of his abdomen with no more pressure than what's necessary to keep her safely planted on the back of the bike. Her heart pounds with the thrill of what they did providing her a rush better than any drugs she's done, and she laughs wildly with him as they rip through Kildare from street to street.

Y/N sits with her knees pulled up onto the seat of the chair she's on and watches JJ poke the tip of an ink-dipped sewing needle into his skin in a methodical formation that follows his mental image of the tattoo he wants.

Their date, though technically still happening, was exactly what she needed after the past few days being packed to the brim with chaos and drama. Like he said, it wasn't anything extravagant considering that they can hardly afford to keep the Chateau's kitchen stocked for the two of them, but it was everything she wanted not because of what they did, but because he called it a date.

It has her smiling to herself thinking about it, looking away from where he furrows his brows in concentration to tattoo the ink beneath his skin to the blanket laid out on the floor of her bedroom for the mini-picnic they had. He intended on it happening outdoors, then rain began to pour down from the cloud-covered sky and they resigned themselves to a date inside the house.

It was essentially what they always do together, and that's why she loved it so much. The special part was him breaking out a six pack he stole from the convenience store a few days ago in honor of their first real date, and, "...some White Claw, 'cause you're a pussy that can't drink real alcohol." The sly remark got him a death glare and half of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich stolen from him, but he just smiled the whole time, incapable of helping himself.

In the least weird way, sometimes if she says something a certain way or makes a distinct facial expression, she reminds him of John B to a level that verges on eerie.

If he said it, she'd probably think it's weird because of the obvious fact of them being together and him being attracted to her, but it's not like that. It's a fleeting snapshot of a feeling he finds himself caught up in every once in a while. She'll laugh and snort at the end of it once in a while, and his heart will drop at the thought of his best friend doing the same thing. Or, her reaction to him teasing her like he did over the White Claw will make him think he's still here sometimes.

But then she'll do something like herself, something distinctly Y/N that contributed to his hopeless attraction to her in the first place, and the feeling will disappear into thin air.

She continues watching him from where she's perched on an old stool they dragged in from the porch. He's too concentrated on the finishing touches of the stick-and-poke tattoo he dots into the calf of his leg to notice her staring, or so she thinks, so she does it as shamelessly as she wants.

Throughout the drama of the past three or so days, she hasn't allowed herself to want him the way she always does. Thinking he had a secret girlfriend and being too upset with the bandana situation, she was too pissed off to admit she still liked him this way most of the time. But she has no qualms admitting it now.

JJ chews on his split bottom lip in focus, and her eyes trail over him from top to bottom with nothing but unrestrained, dreamy-eyed desire swirling around in them.

First, she finishes studying his face after the interruption she faced this morning. She memorizes the little things, the imperfections and minute details, before moving onto the rest of him. His hair is half-damp from the downpour of rainwater that soaked them halfway through the ride back to the Chateau, and they had to change out of their wet clothes from the day. So, as if for the sole purpose of teasing her, the only clothing he wears aside from underwear is a pair of tan overalls.

She doesn't miss things like how his bicep flexes slightly when he reaches up to dip the makeshift tattoo needle, a sewing needle tied to the tip of a pencil with thread wrapping them together, into the India ink he found in the box labeled "Arts and Crafts (JJ and John B stay out!!)" underneath her bed.

However, what makes her falter is the sight of a bruise on the side of his waist leading down past where the edge of the overalls cover him.

Part of her wants to ask him about it, about his dad going to jail for the restitution and how he feels about it, but she also doesn't want to ruin the mood of this for him. He's been happy, truly happy, since they left school today and bringing up his dad is the number one way of ruining his decent mood.

Instead, she asks, "Doesn't that hurt?"

His head lifts to catch his first glimpse of her in over thirty minutes.

The sight of her sitting there could genuinely strike him down right where he sits. For how much she eye-fucks him when he isn't looking, he does the same.

Her hair is pulled half-up, half-down by a hair tie she found in her bedside table after they changed out of their wet clothes, and the raw cutoff of the white tank top she snipped into a cropped shirt with the kitchen scissors over the summer exposes a plane of naked skin to him that is only interrupted by her panties. Originally, she'd been wearing a pair of shorts, but it got too hot in here thanks to the broken air conditioner to keep them on.

To say that she's a temptation to him would be a gross understatement, but she asked him a question, so he tries his best to clear his lust-muddled mind to answer it.

He shrugs.

"I guess it does. It ain't that bad though, I'm sure it hurts less than getting that did."

At the end of his sentence, he gestures to the discoloration splotched on her cheek in a fresh bruise from one of the few hits Kacey landed on her. It's a mark that makes him want to frown, but it also makes pride flare up inside of him for her. He's already accepted that he did John B dirty by breaking her out of ISS today, so he has no problem admitting he's proud of her for what she did.

It's what sparked the idea around his tattoo in the first place. What she did was some real deal Holyfield Pogue behavior, and he thought it best to honor their eventful day this way. With the letters "P4L" inked crookedly into his skin to the best of his limited ability in tattoo artistry, JJ sets the needle down onto the towel laid out on her desk.

Perking up at the realization him being finished, she pushes herself off of the wooden stool and pads over to him. Her chin rests itself on his shoulder as she peeks down at the DIY tattoo with an air of fascination surrounding her about it, but he never would've anticipated what comes next from her.

"Can you give me one too?"

He can't hide his surprised but intrigued reaction from her.

"I know I asked already, but, seriously, what's gotten into you lately?" he asks.

It began with the public displays of affection, to put it delicately, in the back of the Drive-In and continued into her showdown with Kacey a few hours ago. She's gone fully crazy this week, and while he can't deny finding it hot as fuck, he also can't deny worrying about it to himself.

She sighs.

"I know what you're thinking, and I know this seems kinda not like me, but I'm not gonna wake up tomorrow and regret it, like any of it. It was worth it to beat her up, and it'll be worth it to get suspended for ditching today. I'm just sick of letting people treat me like trash." She shrugs. "I'm over it."

JJ contemplates it for a second, head turned to meet her gaze from where her face hovers inches away from his.

He seems to come to a conclusion within himself, and he reaches up to grab her face in one hand, forcing her to keep eye contact with him in such a casually dominant action, she doesn't know what to do with the feeling it stirs to life inside of her. It isn't aggressive, it never is when it comes to him, but the gentle touch is as commanding as it needs to be.

"This isn't a mental breakdown decision?"

Her response is immediate, a playful smile tugging at her pretty features, "Oh, it's absolutely a mental breakdown decision, but I won't regret it."

Their faces could brush with how close they are, and he watches her take her lip between her teeth with no small amount of longing in his watchful gaze. It's been a while since he's gotten a chance to bite her lip for her. The last time they got to be together in that context was at the Cherry Bowl. That was five days ago, the longest five days of his life as far as he's concerned.

"You promise?"

Her hand raises between them, bruised pinky finger sticking out expectantly.

"Pinky promise, angel."

The pet name softens the seriousness of his expression, and he leans in to kiss her as he hooks his pinky around hers to seal the promise.

To put it as simply as possible, they can't get enough of each other. The phrase "honeymoon phase" comes to mind, but, then again, they've already migrated through hardships and arguments that aren't supposed to happen during the famed honeymoon phase of a relationship. With the messy breakup that almost occurred outside of the office today, neither of them would say they're in a phase of blind infatuation, they just adore one another.

That's it, isn't it?

As their mouths move together in a slow, hot kiss that makes him want to scoop her up and toss her down onto the bed not five feet from where they sit, he decides that adoration is the perfect word to capture his feelings for her. He adores the taste of her on his lips, as well as the hand cupping his cheek and the feeling of her pinky wrapped around his resting against the center his chest.

It lasts longer than either of them anticipated, lingering an extra few seconds in which he chases after her departed kiss with his chin nudging out in anticipation of her return, and she can practically see him refraining from acting on every urge floating around in that head of his when his eyes open to see her standing up straight.

"Alright," he says, shaking his head to himself to dissolve the tempting train of thought, and reaches out to unravel the thread from around the pencil to replace his used sewing needle with a fresh one, "where do you want it?"

The question sends her head down to survey the body parts left uncovered by her clothes, or lack thereof, in search of a place deserving of a matching tattoo with him. It's more of a difficult decision than she thought it'd be. It has to be an aesthetically ideal placement, but it must be able to be concealed beneath her clothes. It has to be easy for him to reach, but also easy for her to hold the position for at least a half hour.

He watches her eyes flicker from her arms to her hands, then down to her legs and back up to her abdomen. It catches his attention that she stops there, staring down at herself with narrowing eyes as if she can visualize the sight of the small "P4L" tattoo already etched into her untouched skin.

"I want it..." she trails off into a hum of consideration. She rolls the elastic band of her panties down a smidge to reveal the stretch of skin in direct line with her hips, thumb pointing to a spot to the left of her hipbone where it would poke out under the edge of her panties. "...there."

The taunting look in her eyes tells him she knows exactly what she's doing to him with the idea. For your eyes only, the stare says to him in reference to the tattoo placement, and if he weren't head over heels for her already, that would've hammered the nail into his coffin. He hopes she knows his motivation to get her out of her clothes will be tripled with the knowledge of the tattoo sitting in such an audacious place.

He pauses for a second as if to give her the chance to tell him she's fucking with him, then asks, "Are you trying to seduce me? 'Cause it's totally working."

She scoffs.

"Me? Never."

They're sent back into comfortable silence for the next five minutes, her watching him prepare the supplies to tattoo her with while he lays it out on the clean side of the towel.

It makes nerves spike in the pit of her stomach in anticipation of what's to come, and he can see it in how her leg bounces compulsively from where she sits on the stool across from him. The flick of his lighter opening to hold a flame under the new needle and sterilize it, the sound of him humming along to the song playing through his phone, and her foot tapping in the hardwood keeps her grounded to reality.

She tries not to psych herself out of it.

Her nerves getting the better of her isn't an underlying symptom of secretly not wanting it, but she tends to work herself up over stuff like this, so it takes most of her time and attention to keep herself from freaking out over it. Anxiety tends to be self-sabotaging in her experience. Even when it's something she wants, like JJ, she'll find an excuse to tear it apart in her mind until she finds a reason to fear it.

As of late, she's been trying to overcome that aspect of herself, hence the decision to go public with their relationship. It scares her shitless to subject the sacred thing they have together to the opinions of their friends and the rest of the small, judgmental island, but losing him scares her more.

So, taking the example she set for herself this morning, she doesn't back out of this when he asks her if she's ready. She simply nods, lays on the bed for him to pull his chair up next to, and takes a deep puff of the joint he gave her to steady herself in anticipation of the first puncture of the needle into her skin.

He notices her chest rising and falling at a pace that's quicker than usual and, without giving it much more thought, decides to distract her. On a multitude of occasions, he's had to be the one to force her mind off of a spiraling track into the void of anxiety in the back of her mind, so he has no problem doing it again. The trick is to bring something up that she's been dying to talk about but hasn't had the chance to yet, and he only knows of one thing that fits the description as of this moment.

"You should talk things out with Kie tomorrow."

What he says pulls her attention away from where she was looking down at the needle hovered over her skin up to where he looks down at the area with a careful concentration. Before she can open her mouth to speak a response to the random comment, the tip of the ink-dipped sewing needle pierces under the surface of her skin in the first, surprisingly tolerable poke.

Unknowingly roped right into his trap to calm her nerves, she relaxes her shoulders in the comfort of knowing that the rest of the tattoo will be painful, but not the "clutching the pillows and crying" kind of painful that her mind convinced her it'd be.

He keeps an eye on her in his peripheral vision the entire time. While keeping most of his focus on not fucking up a simple three letter/number long tattoo that'll be on her body forever, he watches her reactions intently for any sign of her nerves getting worse. And after the initial few pokes of the needle are through to start the first letter, he sees her breathing instantly begin to even out and smiles to himself.

Works every time, he thinks, and it hadn't occurred to him until now how well he knows her. From how to cure her anxious thoughts to something as stupid as knowing she only likes the Tangerine and Black Cherry flavors of her drinks, he knows her from the inside out.

"You're probably right," she says, officially distracted, "but I don't feel like opening that can of worms yet. It'll ruin everything, you know? All she ever cares about is Pope. I never thought she'd be that girl that gets a boyfriend and makes her entire world revolve around him but she is, and I hate it."

He hums his agreement, but his answer is different than she expected.

"Yeah, I get that, but you still haven't apologized for blowing up at her this morning."

The sharp pain of the needle keeps her mind present to the current moment, never slipping away to the recesses of her mind to think for too long before she says anything, and it makes everything she says ten times as honest as it would've been. It's not that she ever tries to lie to him, but most people try to filter their words before they're said, both for clarity purposes and the sake of being sensitive to other people’s feelings, and with the pain keeping her occupied, she isn't doing that.

He works relatively fast. Each puncture of the skin is quick enough to make it feel more like a pinch than what it really is. If he went slower, it'd only be more drawn-out and painful, so he works as quickly as he can without sacrificing the neatness of it. She knows what she's getting after viewing his finished tattoo, which was imperfect and crooked in places, but he does try to make it the best he can for her. He cares a lot more about how it looks on her than himself.

Her face morphs into an expression that borders between surprise and offense.

"Why should I apologize? She's the one who keeps ditching me all the time. I was just calling her on her shit since nobody else wants to."

The betrayal of her skipping out on plans multiple times and putting her new boyfriend above everything else in her life, including Y/N, is a fresh wound that has yet to heal in any capacity, so talking about it is a careful dance with the devil from his perspective. Before today, it was all buried miles beneath the surface to the point where she didn't engage much when he tried to ask her about it, but now those feelings have exploded to the surface and there's no forcing them back down.

He says, "I know, and I agree, but you were a little mean about it. Like I said, I'm not one to judge, but you need to talk shit out calmly. What happened this morning won't help things get better with y'all."

He's right.

He isn't one to judge, because for how annoyingly accurate his advice is, he's likely the worst communicator to grace the earth when it comes to having hard conversations like the one she needs to have with Kie and admitting his feelings. Getting him to admit he wanted to go on a date with her was like pulling teeth, so she doesn't understand where his sudden wisdom on having calm, rational conversations sprung from.

Nevertheless, she doesn't call him on it. It'd be a cheap shot. She knows he isn't a good communicator, but neither is she. She had every chance in the world to take the first step to sort out their messy communicative issues this week, but she didn't.

A gentle huff escapes her mouth, and she murmurs in a reluctant acceptance of defeat, "I hate that you're right."

Part of what makes his advice hit her with such pinpoint accuracy is the fact that they're a lot more similar than they give themselves credit for. They appear outwardly as the poster couple for the popular phase "opposites attract" but deep down they have never been total opposites. They share many of the same demons and insecurities, and it makes for a mutual sense of unspoken understanding between them that they've never experienced with other people before.

When she looks at him, she sees someone wildly different to her in so many ways, yet at the same time, she feels like she's looking into a mirror too. He reflects things about her back to herself that she hadn't even realized existed—some of them bad, some of them good—and she knows she does the same for him.

A twin flame.

She once thought the most similar person to her in the world was John B, but it wasn't. It was JJ.

The whole time, underneath the facade of their platonic relationship and the countless girls he went through to force his intense attraction to her away, it was him. He was, and has always been, her person. He's the person that she can go to no matter what. Even when they're pissed at each other and on completely different pages, they can meet under the magnolia tree with one common thread tying them together.

And, just like magic, the sound of him chuckling down where he leans over her midsection erases the festering infection of her anger for Kie. How is he able to do that?

"You're gonna have to get used to it 'cause I'm right like"—he pretends to stop to think about it—"ninety-nine percent of the time."

"Oh that's not true, I can think of a million things you've been wrong about!" she exclaims, and he stops tattooing her as her body moves with her laughter.

After another second, her laughter dissolves into a smile and allows him to resume the repetitive, precise movements of his wrist turning to bring the needle down to her. This time, she winces from the unintentionally harsh depth of the poke, and he murmurs a soft, "Sorry, baby," before continuing at his previous depth and pace. It has her lifting the joint back to her lips for a second hit in the hopes that it'll dull the painful pinching.

"Like what? I was definitely right about breaking you out of ISS. If I didn't, you'd still be hanging with that security guard right now," he says, then adds as a taunting afterthought, "You're welcome, by the way"

She doesn't miss a beat.

"Well, you were wrong about who's the better surfer"—he rolls his eyes instantly at the playful remark—"you were wrong about which cookie is flavor better, and you were dead wrong about Kacey."

The last comment makes him peek up at her face for the first time since he began working on the first letter of the tattoo. Their eyes meet through the cloud of smoke she blows into the space between them, and she has a feeling he sees right through her without having to try.

"What does Kacey have to do with it?"

The memory of her argument with her, an unfortunate foreshadowing to what happened between them outside of the gym this morning, comes to mind as soon as he asks the question.

"But I didn't have to beg JJ to fuck me, did I?" rings through her head on repeat, playing over and over until she wishes she could hit her head against the wall to rid herself of the nasally voice responsible for it. It took the patience of a saint to not fight her then and there, and she's honestly proud of herself for refraining from punching the girl as long as she did after that.

She shakes her head and feigns aloofness at his curious question.

"Nothing. I just meant that your initial judgment of her when you guys hooked up must've been wrong since she turned out to be such a bitch."

His reaction makes her want to throw her head back on the bed and groan in frustration, 'cause he definitely sees right through her. Her voice raised in pitch when she said it, giving it away so clearly that her calm attitude about it wasn't true.

There’s a pause after she says it, then his stony features breaks into a grin that makes her regret opening her mouth in the first place.

"You're jealous?"

Of course she's jealous. Her first and only partner has an ex that's determined to remind her of the fact that she used to fuck him any chance she gets, who wouldn't be jealous?

Maybe it makes her a little too possessive, but she can't stand the thought of any other person, whether it be in the past or years from now, getting to do that with him except for her. Considering that he's the first person she slept with, this isn't something JJ has to worry about, but she knows he'd act this way, if not ten times worse, over one of her ex flings doing the same things that Kacey does.

"No! No, I'm not jealous, I'm just saying you were wrong—"

He shakes his head, wholly unconvinced by her lies.

"You're totally jealous, bro."

JJ returns to carefully stabbing her with the needle again in between the short time it takes her to conjure a response, but he doesn't hesitate to break his concentration on the tattoo to look up at her when she speaks again. She crosses her arms over herself and lays her head back on the mattress to stare at the ceiling in defiance, joint still poised between her fingers.

"I'm never speaking to you again," she says in a huff, only partly joking.

They both know it isn't true, not one bit, but he pretends to be scandalized by the statement anyway.

His melodramatic act of gasping and holding his hand over his heart in offense makes her face ache with the urge to break her forced deadpan expression, and she can't help herself in the end. He has to lift the needle away from her again to avoid putting a random dot of black ink into her skin as she erupts into a fit of giggles that warms his heart more than she'll ever realize.

For the next twenty minutes after their laughter recedes into a silence that makes room for the playlist playing across the room on his phone, they don't exchange any words. He works on the next part of the tattoo with his head hunched over to stare closely at it, and she tries not to think about how his other hand keeps her underwear rolled halfway down her hips to allow him enough room to tattoo her. The touch, alongside her jealousy, makes her want to burst out of her skin with the need to touch him back and stake her claim on him.

She’s laid back, propped on her elbows, and looks down at him with a need flaring so brightly inside of her, she could tremble with the strength it takes to resist it.

She's never felt this way before. Before him, she didn't want anything to do with boys or relationships in general, but maybe that was because she already had him. Maybe it was because he unknowingly filled that void in her life, and once they reached the age where things turned romantic, they started gravitating toward each other for it. And now that she's had him, she can't walk away. The candle she's always had burning for him will never flicker out.

They settle into a routine together for the rest of the time he takes to finish the tattoo. He'll continue on in steady motions to finish up the last letter to perfection, and every once in a while, he'll lift his head up for her to slot the joint between his lips for him to take a drag. Then, she'll take it back and keep watching him, wanting him more than she's wanted anything in her life.

It's such a distracting desire, she doesn't notice he's finished until he tells her to take a look.

"Looks wayyy better than mine does," he murmurs as they eye it up together, his left hand still holding her panties down an inch to keep them low enough to appreciate his hard work as she hums her agreement.

It does look better, but she has a feeling that wasn't a mistake on his part. He appeared to focus more on the precision of where he placed the needle with hers since it took an extra fifteen minutes longer than his did, and the lines forming the acronym are straighter. While still glaringly amateur at its core, the tattoo looks much better than either of them expected it to.

In the hand that was previously holding the needle he already disposed off in the trash when she was trapped in her daze, a cotton ball soaked in rubbing alcohol is clutched between his ink-stained fingers, and he uses it to wipe away the excess ink blooming over the edges of the open skin. It reveals surprisingly cleaner lines composing the "P4L" to match his, and the thought of having something so permanent binding them together makes her bite her lip to contain her smile.

While he wipes the residual ink off of his fingertips with the alcohol-soaked cotton ball, he watches her admire it with a soft smile on her face and can't help but smile a little too. Rather than interrupt, he lets her stay this way for a minute so he can stare unashamedly.

It's when he leans down to place the bandaid he had on standby over the small tattoo that she looks up to see his face. She's about to thank him for it when he speaks again, cutting her off before she can bother to say anything.

"I thought it was hot, by the way," he says.

The sentence offers no context whatsoever, but he says it as if it’s obvious to her, as if it’s knowledge as common as the sky being blue and grass being green. Though it's in reference to the conversation they had over twenty minutes ago, she doesn't get it, and she looks after him in confusion as he stands to throw the bandaid wrapper into the trash can under her desk and put the joint out in the ashtray.

"You thought what was hot? The tattoo?"

He's back across the room to her before she knows it, and the bed creaks beneath the weight of him sitting down onto the mattress next to where she sits.

Her legs are folded up underneath her, leaving her to sit flat on her knees with her ass seated against the backs of her calves, and his hand reaches out to settle on the top of her thigh. So casual, so normal for them that she typically never has to think about it. Except she does now. She feels his hand there and can't stand that they aren't all over the rest of her body yet.

"The jealousy," JJ clarifies, yet again saying it as if it’s so obvious that he doesn't need to explain himself further. "I liked seeing you get all possessive. It was kinda hot, not gonna lie...but the tattoo's hot as fuck too."

Everything about her is hot, he decides. From how she handled the fight with Kacey, to her jealousy, to the matching tattoo inked into a place just for him to see when they're alone together, she doesn't realize what she does to him.

The word overwhelming doesn't begin to encapsulate it. He could go on and on and on, but it's truly starting to become a problem at this point. She's taking up every accessible space in his mind, living inside of his head at every waking moment until he falls asleep at night and dreams of her some more, and he doesn't know how to process it. It's the same as it was before today, but also different. The overall dynamic between them has not changed, but the feelings motivating what he does have intensified beyond his control.

She lets out a soft chuckle at his explanation.

"Well, I'm glad you find my jealous streak entertaining, but she really got in my head." A sigh falls from her, her chest dipping down with the heavy exhale. "I don't like the idea of you with any other girls, I guess, and I've never felt that way before. It's really new to me. Whenever I think about you and her, I can't stand it."

It's somewhat surprising to him to hear her speak her mind so blatantly regarding their relationship/the complications tied into it since they've never done well with communicating, but he takes it in stride. If anything, it encourages him to speak his mind too. It's a step in the right direction after an eventful few days where they went in the wrong direction at every chance they got.

Suddenly, the playful look on his face is giving way seriousness, and it makes her heart race for reasons she can't place. It's a familiar look he's given her before, usually in the moments leading up to their sexual encounters, but it's underscored by something else this time. She can't figure out what, but there's something new ebbing and flowing beneath the surface as he looks at her.

The hand clasped over her thigh comes up to brush a stray strand of hair behind her ear, and she reaches up to twine their fingers together, head turning enough to press a tender kiss to the inside of his calloused palm. Their faces are closer than she remembered them being a moment ago, and his nose brushes with hers once, twice, and again before he rests his forehead against hers.

Time feels slower inside of this moment, frozen with her face pressed closely to his and her chest expanding to breathe his exhaled air. The proximity to him has those urges to touch him that she resisted earlier coming back in full force. Her heart and body both beg her to lessen the distance between them for good this time, to bring him into her and never let him leave.

A mere five seconds has passed since she last spoke, but it feels like an eternity now that he swallows back the lump in his throat and says to her, "You don't need to worry about other girls."

As if a switch is flipped by his words, they are brought together through the inch-wide gap between them to collide in a kiss.

As always, it begins softly.

He starts out every kiss they share so restrained and unsure of himself before the comfort of having her here melts his protective walls away for what he truly feels to rush in and take the situation by storm. It makes the soft, sensuous movement of her mouth slotting against his turn into something hungrier and needier, chasing a feeling that's been absent for his entire life until right now.

It's a distinct feeling he can't shake, like a bitter taste in your mouth that you can't wash out. He doesn't know what it is or why he feels it, but all he knows is that it becomes stronger the closer he gets to her, and he can't stop himself from wanting more.

It makes him reach out to grab at her a lot sooner than he normally would, wanting to get his hands on her in any way he can to satisfy the screaming urge inside of him. His hands find purchase on her waist at first, but they wander down to her hips, then finally to her thighs to slip beneath them and pull her onto his lap.

Y/N gasps sharply into his mouth mid-kiss at the sudden jolt of being tugged onto him far quicker than she anticipated, but she doesn't mind it. Seeing him set aflame with the same desire she's felt since they arrived home implores her to let down her inhibitions and do what she pleases. She indulges in every wish, every voice in the back of her head telling her to get closer and claim him as her own amid her jealousy.

Her mouth parts to let him to deepen the kiss, complying with the question of his tongue swiping against her bottom with just as much passion and enthusiasm as he gives her.

His hands slide up along her legs and settle at the swell of her hips where she sits with her legs on either side of his thigh. His trajectory in pulling her onto his lap was off, but neither of them corrects it. Instead, he feels her start to rock her hips back and forth to grind her clothed center against his thigh, drawing out a muted moan from her that makes his dick stiffen beneath the claustrophobic denim of his overalls.

She didn't mean to do it at first, but then she felt his thigh pressing up between her legs and couldn't help herself. The hard muscle of his contracted thigh brushes against her clit with a pressure that makes her lips part further to take in a shaky breath as he kisses her, tongue delving into her mouth without a second thought. He touches her with such confidence in himself, it's like he knows. It's like he knows he possesses her, body and soul, and he can't get enough of it.

Ring-clad fingers dig into her hips to guide her movements so she grinds down on him at a steady pace that is both satisfying and teasing to her at the same time. It sends sparks shooting through her but doesn't give her everything she wants, and he doesn't let her go any faster. The hands gripping her body hold tightly enough to hurt, giving her no control over the pleasure he gives as he drags her against him in slow strokes.

Her arms are stretched out over his shoulders with her hands interlocked behind him, and she uses the placement of her arms as leverage to fight against the pace he sets. She tries to grind her hips into him faster, but he doesn't let up. Their mouths come apart with a whine of disappointment from her as she reaches to pull him back to her, but he doesn't let her. Every time she tries to go against his rules, he stops her.

One of his hands squeezes her hip in a warning to knock it off that's soon followed by the sound of his voice murmuring, "Quit being a brat," to her before he dips his face down into the curve of her neck.

Her reaction to the stern tone he took with her has his lips curling into a smirk against the delicate curve of her neck—the sudden halt of her trying to move against the guidance of his hands, her head nodding to submit to his commands, and her hand coming back to cradle the back of his head into her neck. It doesn't matter how daring and uncharacteristically wild she turned today, when it comes to this, one simple reprimand from him has her yielding to him instantly. After all, she's still herself.

"Please," she whines, head tilting back and hips faltering in response to the mark he sucks into her skin, "I want you inside me..."

Above any possible neckline of a shirt, in plain view for anyone to see, and the thought of other people seeing it thrills him to a degree he wishes it didn't.

Having to see guys hit on her in front of their friends without being able to say or do anything about it killed him inside, but now...The vulnerability that springs from subjecting the safety of their secret relationship to everyone they know comes with an upside. Neither of them has to pretend anymore. For every time he refrained from touching her, or kissing her, or telling some guy coming up to flirt with her in the hallway to fuck off, he can make up for it from now on.

His thoughts rapidly drift away from it, though, in favor of acknowledging what she said to him.

Voice so breathy and hot, he could sense her desperation secondhand through the words themselves. She said it with the sole purpose of trying to get him to snap and give her what she wants already. He knows her too well at this point, both emotionally and sexually, to not see that she's baiting him. That's not to say it wasn't a true statement—trust her, it really, really was—but she knew what she was doing and he won’t give her the satisfaction.

Instead, he lets his hands brace behind him on the mattress, sinking into the plushy material of her pile of blankets, and pulls his face away from the new mark on her neck to press a kiss to her mouth. He doesn't even acknowledge the request, he just kisses her once and retreats to look up at her as she rides his thigh.

To her, he's the closest human being can come to perfection. She watches him carefully in anticipation of whatever it is he's sure to do next, captivated, and his eyes simply glance down between her face and his lap.

JJ says, "You know what to do."

Fuck.

She's not gonna survive the rest of the night if he keeps hitting her with stuff like that. Give me a warning, she wants to say to him, a girl can only handle so much, for fuck’s sake. And he can tell what it does to her by how her pussy throbs against the top of his thigh at his suggestion, pulsating to the beat of her heart. Even with the thin layer of her panties separating them, he can feel it.

Her stare meets his in the middle, widened slightly as it to ask if he's serious as his seems to say back, Earn it.

The way he looks at her is flooded with such heady lust from thinking of the things they have yet to do, she must refrain from wanting to hide her flushed face into the blankets. Seeing him leaned back on his hands expectantly with his eyes raking over her without a drop of shame pushes her into action.

How could she not oblige him, anyway? When he looks at her like that, she can't physically help herself from spinning the universe around his every whim. It prompts her hands to reach up and unclasp the hooks holding his overalls together in one piece to allow the straps to fall and sway against his sides.

Is it odd that she wants it as badly as him?

Though it gives her no actual pleasure physically, getting to be the one to do this to him is high like no other. Maybe it has something to do with the jealousy she's felt for days, but she falls to her knees and relishes the ache of them hitting the hardwood floor for the sake of doing this. Her mouth waters with the excitement of it, and she bites her lip hard enough to draw blood as they pull his clothes down his body together.

Too eager to wait, they let the overalls and underwear sit low on his hips enough for her to pull him out of them, but not all the way off. And as soon as she leans forward to let a string of spit dribble onto his dick for her to start stroking him, he's gone. All of that demanding dominance melts away when he's at the mercy of her touch, and she becomes drunk on the power.

To watch him through her lashes as she teases his tip with fleeting kitten licks and messy kisses that smear drops of precome on that pretty mouth of hers is a luxury she indulges in for as long as he lets her. She savors every second of it; his chest expanding with shallow, swift breaths, those pale eyes opening to catch a glimpse of her on her knees for him, and the salty taste dissolving on her tastebuds.

"Y/N..." he says, voice trembling.

She knows the word is a warning for her to stop teasing him, but she wants to get one last dig in at him before things get too intense for her to bother. It's too good of an opportunity to pass up.

Her hand works in lazy pumps along his thick cock the whole time. Her thumb caresses over his tip on the upstroke just to watch his hips jerk forward a little into the sensation, knowing how sensitive he is there. The sight of her tongue poking out to lick the evidence of his arousal from her lips nearly strikes him down right where he sits, and she bats her lashes at him once or twice to truly drive it home.

"Doesn't feel good to be teased, does it, JJ?"

Before she can return to toying with him some more, the hand he has wrapped up in her hair to keep it from falling into her eyes tugs sharply to pull her face up to meet his, and he sees her swallow thickly at the action. Where her knees are digging into the wooden floor, likely blooming fresh bruises into the skin there that he'll tease her over, she has to press her thighs together to relieve the ache between them.

His voice isn't harsh or commanding when he next speaks, it's calm, and for some reason that compels her to obey him more than it would if it weren't. There's something inherently hot to her about it when he manhandles her like this without the added effect of a stern tone. She knows it's because he knows he doesn't need it to have control over her. He has control over her no matter how he attempts to exercise it, and she gives it away to him so willingly.

"I thought I told you to stop," he says softly, as if he were whispering sweet nothings in her ear, and it sends shivers skittering down her spine.

In place of an answer, she winks up at him and finally takes him into her mouth.

The first time they did this, it was a learning experience for her that ended with her wanting to hide her face in a pillow with how awkward it felt to essentially have him teaching her how to blow him, but it got better each time. Despite the pesky annoyance of having a sore jaw the following day, she began to enjoy herself when she did it, and that’s what he finds so gratifying about it.

He never thought in his wildest fantasies that she'd be like this, even when he dreamt up scenarios of them together before any of this happened to get himself off, but he welcomes it wholeheartedly. The feeling of her mouth around him, wet and warm in a way that makes him eager for what'll happen after this, is enough to make him grip the fistful of her hair in his hand tighter and let out a soft groan, but it has nothing on how it feels to watch.

Her lips glisten with the slick mixture of spit and precome from where they're wrapped closely around him, cheeks hollowing with the gentle bobbing of her head that makes the hand bracing against the mattress grip the blankets into a closed fist. It's unfair how easy it is for her to get under his skin. He's been with countless girls, had countless blowjobs, and yet he's never felt his heart flutter the way it does when she does it.

The vibration of her moaning with him in her mouth as she pushes herself down as far as she can take it, still pumping what she can't reach with her hand, makes it harder than ever to keep his hips from jerking forward. He may find the idea of fucking her mouth incredibly hot, but it's not the kind of thing you spring on a person mid-blowjob, so he keeps himself as still as possible amid the natural urge to thrust deeper.

"Shit," he curses under his breath, and he feels as though he's been struck by a train when her eyes flutter open to make contact with his at the low sound of it.

She has him in the palms of her hands. At this point, he's incapable of denying it, but he doesn't want to.

It's a feeling so unlike him, he isn't sure what to do with it except take it for what it is—it's all he really can do. The last time he remembers having any control over himself was earlier today in the hallway outside of the office. He tried to push her away on instinct as he's done multiple times, but then she kissed him, and he couldn't keep himself at bay anymore.

And she knows it.

Based on the devilish way she looks up at him and how she loses herself in the act of sucking him off as if it's the purpose of life, she knows the affect she has on him and uses it to her advantage. Between the day she teased him at the beach to this, she likes to pretend she's so innocent and unassuming, but he brings to life a side of her she never knew existed.

Her tongue is flat against him when she pulls up, and he already feels himself fighting the urge to come. It's a little pathetic to him, but he can't help it when she's making it this good. She rubs the sensitive spot connecting the underside of his cock to the red, throbbing tip of it that shines with her saliva, knowing damn well how quickly it pushes him to the edge of his orgasm if he's already as worked up as he is.

She licks up the length of him as she does it, never breaking that knee-weakening eye contact, and he knows he won't last if he lets her continue on for much longer. He can sense the muscles leading down past his lower abdomen contracting with the need for release that'll surely follow if he doesn't stop her from pushing things past the point of no return, and, with that in mind, he pulls her away from him without a warning.

Lost in the focus of what she was doing a second ago, Y/N looks up at him with furrowed brows when he pulls her off of him, and her voice is raspy when she says as her only protest, "I was having fun."

JJ doesn't say anything at first, he simply reaches down to sweep her up in his arms until she's no longer knelt on the floor and turns to toss her down onto the bed exactly how he imagined doing. The arms wrapped around her slip away as he lets her fall the short distance onto her back against the mess of blankets and sheets beneath them.

Right when she turns her gaze up to him for guidance, he's crawling onto her and coaxing her bruised knees apart for him to settle between. He doesn't offer any explanation for the sudden lack of patience outside of him saying into the closing distance between them, "I wanna fuck you," and kissing her with enough force for it to ache.

Before her legs have the chance wrap around his hips on an instinct to bring him closer, he's reaching between them to hook his fingers into her panties and bring them down her hips in a frenzy.

Something about the way she was looking at him made him snap, and now he's the one who's two seconds away from begging, not her. He's never been so eager to fuck someone before. In all of his flings and hookups, the girls were the ones who wanted it most, but he thinks that isn't true with her. He wants her so badly, he can't possibly imagine she returns the sentiment in full, but the wetness soaking through her underwear proves otherwise.

His thumb brushes over the woven fabric of the bandaid he placed on her on its way by in acknowledgment of the tattoo session that started this in the first place, nearly ripping the panties with how roughly he guides them off of her legs.

The impatience of his actions excites her, realizing that she's getting what she wanted. There's something about him that drives her wild, and though she doesn't have anyone else to compare him to, she can't help but think it's something about him in general, not the physical act of what they do.

Somehow, they both retain the self control to undress him the rest of the way too rather than go straight for it, and the ten seconds it takes to shove his overalls and underwear off of his ankles to the floor is the longest ten seconds of their lives. She was ready for him before they began touching each other in the first place, back when he was tattooing himself and her mind wandered to less than wholesome places, so to say that she's needy would be an understatement.

With a hand reached between their bodies to guide him into her, he's the one that stops her, contrary to the last time they did this in the back of the Twinkie, and she whines when he starts to get up to dig through the drawer for a condom.

Her hands pull him back from where he pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, and he looks back at her with wide eyes.

"Just pull out," she says in a hushed, rushed way that sends his brows up his forehead, and clarifies a second later, "I know you're clean and you know I've never been with anyone else, so..." His nostrils flare with the deep breath he takes as soon as he hears her say it, and his eyes are boring into hers with a fervor that makes her cheeks flush. "I trust you."

He's hard to read at first, but, once he looks past his initial fear of somehow fucking up and not pulling out soon enough, the proposition is fuel to the fire.

For their entire relationship, he's been the experienced one. In every aspect, in every situation, he's the one who's done it first. It never bugged either of them, but now that he's presented with a chance to experience a first with her, he realizes how much he was craving it. Being with many different people, he wasn't stupid enough to go raw no matter how drunk and turned on he got. If either of them forgot one, that was it, the party was over, and it wasn't happening, but now he's tempted.

Since she isn't a random girl who could possibly have an STD, and she isn't psycho enough to baby trap him, he doesn't see why they shouldn't. Not to mention, the idea of it alone makes him harder than he thought possible. It's already pleasurable enough with a condom, but without the added layer separating them, he imagines how different it'll feel compared to anything he's done so far.

"You sure about this?" he asks.

Giving her a chance to back out and rethink it, he doesn't want to say yes as enthusiastically as he thinks it without double checking with her first. She doesn't take the escape route, though, and her hands come up to cup his face as she leans her head off of the bed to kiss him. Her lips are wet with saliva from when she went down on him, melding with his in a slow kiss that'd be too personal to be comfortable if it were anyone but her.

She says again in a break between kisses, "I trust you," then she whispers into his ear, grinding herself up against him impatiently, "Let me feel you."

With that as her answer, how could he not oblige?

As if the levee was broken by the sentence she whispered, breathy and desperate, into his ear, JJ pulls her face out from where it's tucked into his neck and surges forward to kiss her like he's starved for it.

The building intensity of the feelings they've experienced over the past few days leads into a explosive outpouring of desire that pushes them further into each other's arms. All of the sadness, anger, adoration, and lust is poured into their actions as she lets her hand drift down once more between them to guide him, reveling in the shaky breath he takes at rubbing against her without an added barrier, and slip the head of his cock inside of her.

That shaky breath transforms into a gasp they both take, parted mouths brushing as he eases into her without a moment for adjustment or doubts. The end of her gasp shifts into a soft, surprised little moan that encourages him to push further and further until he's met with the resistance of her tightening up around him and the soft backs of her thighs pressing into his hips.

Buried into her to the hilt, he's incapable of saying or doing anything except forcing himself not to fuck her as deeply and forcefully as he wants to. He can tell how overwhelming it is for her because he shares the same feeling, and while she's wet and aroused enough for it not to hurt, the pressure of him stretching her open necessitates a second or two of deep breaths for her mind to catch up with the rest of her body.

But as soon as she catches her breath, she lets her eyes open to meet his, nose brushing the tip of his with the subtle jutting of her chin to bring their faces closer, and wriggles her hips back and forth into the mattress to send a clear message his way: Please, give me something, anything.

In response, he lets himself pull out and sink in again, and again, and they both hold onto each other a tighter at the heightened sensation of it as he starts to fuck her the way they wanted since finishing her tattoo. He presses into her at a slow and deep pace that sends her hands flying out to grab onto his arms for support. Her fingernails dig into his biceps and leave behind crescent-shaped indents in the contracting muscles that he wishes he could keep there forever as a token of this.

She'll burn the memory of this into her mind forever too if she has to. It's the closest thing she's felt to heaven in the physical personification. The taste of his kiss is tinged with the flavor of Pabst Blue Ribbon that she usually finds disgusting, but she can find anything about him disgusting right now, not even that.

"Fuck, Y/N, it's so"—he mutters the words between his panting breaths as he snaps his hips forward in a feverish thrust that makes her whimper with pleasure—"you feel so fucking good..."

The sensation of having her around him without the familiar latex barrier is downright indescribable for them both. For him, it's the feeling of her tight, velvety soft walls squeezing him on each stroke that was subdued without them realizing it every time before this. For her, it's the body heat that she had yet to feel to it's full extent until now spreading as a warmth inside of her, and she can't ignore the added effect of actually feeling him throbbing inside of her.

It's so close and sensual, so intimate that she moans from how overwhelming it is. Their faces are so close, they brush with their movements, and their bodies are flush. He moves to her with a fluidity he never has elsewhere, hips rolling with the motion of the perfectly paced strokes that have her back arching off the bed to press their chests together. It's only when he feels the cotton of her tank top on his sweat-slick skin that he realizes he forgot to take it off in the hastiness to be inside of her, and he won't let it continue like this.

"Arms up."

Without hesitation, her arms lift away from where they clung to him and fall back onto the space above her fanned out hair, and his returning thrusts are a little faster at the sight of her blind obedience. It's the trust she has for him that strikes right where he's weak. It sneaks past his defenses and takes hold of his heart before he realizes it, leaving him permanently vulnerable to her.

Short of the times they trusted each other and their friends with their lives over the summer, what they're doing right now takes more trust than either of them have willingly given to people other than themselves, but she does so without thinking first. She knows, despite everything that happened this week, that he'd never lead her astray, and he returns it to her tenfold. He allows her into parts of him that nobody else sees, happily giving her his heart to cradle in her hands or crush between furious fists—whatever she wants.

He slips the tank over her breasts and up her raised arms as quickly as he can, not wanting to stop fucking her for any longer than he must. And once the cropped shirt is tossed away to the edge of the bed, he reaches down to hoist her legs up around his waist. He starts to build a satisfying rhythm with the new angle that makes her tilt her head back in a moan, and he can't contain his own sounds as he watches her breasts bounce gently with the force of him pounding into her soaked, sensitive pussy.

"JJ," she breathes out, but is interrupted when he finds a sweet spot inside of her that never fails to heighten the feeling swirling in her belly like a spring readying itself to pop, "Just like that, fuck, don't stop—"

The sound of her saying those things to him makes it harder and harder for him to control himself, so he doesn't. He lets some of his body weight go to pin her down on the mattress and use all of his energy to keep fucking her exactly the way he needs to hit that spot over and over again.

From where she lays beneath him with her legs pulled around his waist and her arms draped over his built shoulders, he's a sight she never wants to forget.

Sweaty and exhausted from a day of nonstop mayhem, he has lost himself in the mindless action of burying himself inside of her, and she watches in awe of him. The shark tooth necklace dangles in her face and jolts when he snaps his hips forward into her, leaving her to follow the path of the jewelry up to the rest of his body. She watches muscles work beneath bronzed skin with the relentless physical strain, and it has her writhing beneath him as much as she can to meet his thrusts.

The part that gets her most isn't even how gorgeous he looks this way, or the orgasm threatening to boil over the edge inside of her, it's the emotions he gives her.

This isn't, by any means, the way it has felt between them before. It's usually a fast, pedal to the metal experience chock-full of dirty talk, hair pulling, and ass slapping that leaves the mark of his handprint on her for hours after they're finished, but this is different. Neither of them feels the need to say anything to occupy the gaps of silence between the cacophony of moans, gasps, and skin hitting skin that fills the room, they're comfortable existing with each other in the moment without distracting themselves from their feelings.

She's never felt closer to him than she does now, and if she were to ask him if he felt the same, he couldn't deny it.

Most of the time, his hookups with other girls were while they were drunk at parties, and he doesn't remember some of them, let alone remember the last time sex was as intrinsically intimate as this. That's because it's never been this way. It verges on feeling invasive, it's so much closer and more personal than his other times, even with her. The closest they ever came to this degree of intimacy was their first time, but the added aspect of the awkwardness of it being her first time too got in the way.

Already so worked up from her going down on him and the added pleasure of not having anything separating them, JJ can feel himself starting to slip through the cracks, so he lets his hand trail down her body to find her clit.

The high she felt gradually rising inside of her spikes dramatically at the contact of his fingertips rubbing her clit, and she cries out at the combined sensations. He watches her mouth drop open in a gape and brows scrunch up with the impending high that only picks up in strength with every time he fucks into her.

Feeling and watching her reach her climax makes it difficult for him to stave his off for longer, but he does. He has to shut his eyes, almost in pain from resisting it, and try not to give in to the rush of bliss he gets from her squeezing and spasming around his cock through the start of her orgasm.

Tipped over the edge by the fingertips circling her clit, Y/N melts in his arms at the sudden wave after wave of white-hot euphoria that courses through her and wipes her mind clean of any thoughts except those of him. It has her legs shaking around his waist, her fingernails digging in between his shoulder blades and dragging down until there's a set of angry red lines raised from his skin, and her hips raising off of the bed with the inescapable feeling.

He keeps himself in control for as long as physically possible, whining with his forehead pressed to hers through her seemingly endless orgasm, but it's only another few seconds before he's cutting it too close to be safe and has to pull out before it's too late.

JJ could cry with relief when he withdraws from her, stroking himself a few times, and releases with a groan onto her trembling stomach.

Her mind-numbing climax has receded enough for her to watch him with a semi-clear mind as he's in the midst of his, and she bites down on her lip at the throbbing continuing between her legs at the picture of him coming undone above her. Come shoots out onto her stomach in hot spurts that stick to her sweaty skin, prompting her to crane her neck down to watch him jerk himself off to ride out the rest of his orgasm.

Their chests collide in the middle with their heaving inhales, and he sighs in exhaustion, letting himself fall forward onto her as much as he can without crushing her to connect their mouths. For a second, she isn't thinking about how gross she feels with the sweat and come on her skin, she's thinking about the happiness she feels with him. It's such a sloppy, languid kiss with virtually no conscious effort put into it from either of them, but, to her, it's the best kiss they've had.

Though nothing has technically changed between them, though she isn't his girlfriend despite the label he attached to their afternoon together, it seems as though a wall between them comes down with the final kiss they share in the come down from their orgasms. They can both feel it, even if they don't say anything as they pull apart, and it's a terrifying but welcomed change.

His reddened lips are tilted into a sated smile in the time it takes him to reach up above her to grab the towel to wipe his release off of her stomach. They're both too tired and out of breath to exchange any words yet, but once he's cleaning her up and sees the bandaid covering her tattoo ruined with a streak of the sticky, white substance, he laughs.

"Bet you're real glad I put that bandaid on now," he says with a quick glance up to where she lays with her arms thrown above her head, and she opens her eyes to meet his gaze, "That would've been an infection waiting to happen."

His blunt thumbnail scratches at the edge of the bandage to lift it from her skin, careful not to let anything drip off of it onto the open wound of her tattoo, and wrap it up in the towel he tosses to the floor to pick up later. With her cleaned up to the best of his ability before either of them can summon the energy to carry themselves out of the room and into the bathroom to shower, he collapses next to her with a heavy exhale.

She watches his chest rising and falling rapidly, a stray droplet of sweat running down his sternum until it halts at his bellybutton and stays there. Absentmindedly, she reaches out with one hand to trace its path down his abdomen and drags her fingertip over the pattern of the muscles there. He's a work of art, isn’t he?

The casual touch makes him look over at her from where he was staring up at the ceiling. Her eyes are drooping with the urge to fall under the alluring veil of sleep, and he can see her actively resist it in favor of staying conscious with him. She's soaking in the moment to the fullest, trying to hold onto him for as long as she can.

She takes a deep breath, then says softly, "All drama aside, I had a really great day because of you...and I'm sorry for not asking you about what Kie said before freaking out like that. It's just hard for me to talk about how I feel most of the time, but that isn't an excuse. I'm trying to be better about it."

The apology flatters him, it honestly does, but he doesn't need it at this point. He knew she was sorry long before the actual words left her mouth.

However, the last part of it makes him take a second to himself to think. Things between them have felt ten times better since they tried to be more open about their feelings this afternoon, and he never wants to lose this peace with her, so maybe they should strive for this every day they spend together. It would sound simple to anyone else, but they've always had issues in communication, especially since their relationship isn't completely official. It takes more for them to put their thoughts into words than it does for most people.

For him, it's hard to say what he feels about her without a barrage of intrusive thoughts shooting him down before he can open his mouth, but seeing her take the first step helped. Seeing her face her own fears makes him feel safer in doing the same.

In his form of accepting the apology, JJ raises his hand up between them to stick out his pinky for her.

"From now on, let's actually say the shit we're feeling before it gets out of control and one of us ends up going off the rails, okay?"

She smiles and reaches up to hook her pinky around his in another promise she intends to keep.

"Deal."

Tag List: @gabiatthedisco, @fangirlvoice, @black-syren, @apparrio, @particularcth, @planetdemon, and @idk-ijustworkhere.

P.S. Also, there is no pregnancy plot in this, so don’t worry abt the unprotected sex, no babies here unless I say so lmao.

#jj maybank #jj maybank smut #jj maybank x reader #outer banks #obx #fanfiction #matching P4L tatts bc they’re stupid but also ride or die ❤️

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

Text

DIWK - Chapter ten: "Set me free my honey bee"

Word count: 11,6K

Summary: Let's jump 19 months in time and see how painful it has turned for reader and Spencer to hide their feelings for each other. JJ leaves the team, and a new member joins the BAU.

Warnings: Angst and hurt. Fools being assholes. Cursing, of course. Mention of CM cases and spoilers on S06E11.

A/N: Please don't hate me. Just remember things usually look like the shit before they get worst, and then everything is better. I hope.

Masterlist

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(Y/N)'s point of view

Time is a weird thing. I remember when I was in school and time didn't pass fast enough. Semesters were eternal. It felt it had been years by the time summer vacation arrived. The complete opposite happened to me at the BAU. Suddenly, time passed too quickly. A whole year and a half went by in the blink of an eye.

I told Spencer about it, and he sent me a paper published by Professor Adrian Bejan that presented an argument based on the physics of neural signal processing. He hypothesizes that, over time, the rate at which we process visual information slows down, and this is what makes time 'speed up' as we grow older.

My answer was that I thought it happened 'cos as we grew older, we did things that actually gave us joy, which made us feel the time was passing faster than before. So we argued a whole Saturday afternoon about it and created our own theories for that event.

My theory was my personal favorite, 'cos it was the only one that could easily explain why so much time had passed in the BAU, and it felt like it had been just a few weeks.

It hadn't been easy, though. Those nineteen months had been filled with some of the worst situations we had been through as a team.

After I got shot, JJ finally admitted her relationship with Will and got pregnant. That was shocking, the first BAU baby: Henry.

Sadly, Henry was the only little good thing that happened that year. Because to sum it up, a bunch of awful shit happened to all of us: Hotch was in a car explosion that almost killed him. Spencer and Prentiss got trapped in an undercover mission into an underground cult to investigate child abuse, and Emily was beaten up pretty badly. Also, Spencer got infected with anthrax and nearly died. That was probably the most agonizing moment I had lived since the whole Tobias Hankel situation two years earlier.

Also, that year Prentiss had to investigate the case of the death of one of her best friends, and I was in a pretty nasty fight with an unsub that got me out of the field for three weeks. Not to mention, Spencer was shot in the leg.

Hotch was stabbed by the only unsub that has actually won against the BAU: Foyet. He attacked Aaron and got on the lose for months, but we all knew his next move as torture Hotch's family. That's why his ex-wife Haley and his little son Jack had to go into protective custody, and he couldn't see them for months while we tried to catch Foyet.

Things didn't go as planned. And without a doubt, the worst moment that year was the day Haley died. Foyet killed her, and Aaron lost it. He literally killed him with his bare hands the moment he got him. For a solid week, I was sure Aaron Hotchner wouldn't be the unit chief anymore. Strauss actually opened an investigation related to everything that happened that day. But in the end, somehow, she understood the "bloodbath" that had happened in that house was all in Foyet's hands.

However, there's no way to deny that the whole team had changed in many ways after that year. The concept of being a family was now more present than ever. After chasing Foyet for months, we were all onto him as if he was chasing our own family, because he was.

You don't work this kind of job with a team like mine and don't get attached to them. And this goes beyond how in love I was with Spencer. The (Y/N) who first stepped into the BAU, scared to show her true self, was long gone. And despite my deepest fears, letting them in and showing them who I really was had been one of the smartest decisions I have ever made.

Do you want to know which was my stupidest decision? Falling in love with Spencer Reid. It hadn't actually been my choice. I just didn't fight the feeling either. I don't think I could have even if I tried, though. Those nineteen months brought us so close, my mom thought we were living together, and the teasing from our friends was so common we weren't even affected by it.

For Christ Sakes, even Strauss thought we were dating! She forced us to attend a seminar on fraternization, concerned after she realized we always took our vacation together. We had a lot of fun trips, though. First, we visited his mom and had an amazing weekend in Las Vegas. Then we took a few days off after the anthrax incident and went to Hawaii. Picture Spencer Reid in an "all-inclusive," drinking all the coffee and eating all the pastries possible while reading a million books underneath an extra-large umbrella. We had fun that week, did some local touring, but most of all, sleeping in and relaxing. Spencer hates the beach but got those tickets anyway.

Did everybody think we were a couple? Yes

Did it help that we shared rooms, 'cos we were already used to it? No

Did it feel like a honeymoon without sex? Yes

Could I stop thinking about sex with Spencer? No.

And all that led us to the nightmare our relationship was going to become.

Penelope Garcia was drunk. She kept pouring shots and pushing them to us. Emily was wasted as well. But she kept acting like the classy lady she is. Not like JJ. My poor baby had mascara smeared under her eyes after crying for like an hour.

We found out she was leaving the team, and it was a hard blow on us. And by hard, I mean the worst thing that had ever happened to us. We had suffered without JJ when she was on maternity leave. And we struggled without her. Now knowing the Pentagon had taken her away from the BAU was torture.

We had a goodbye party for her at Rossi's, but this was our goodbye girl's night, and neither of us was holding anything back.

We had cried, we had sung sad songs. We drank all the champagne, wine, and vodka we could find. And now, holding our tequila shots, we knew it was time to call it a night.

- "I just love you girls so much,"- JJ whispered, crying- I don't wanna work without you.

- "Boo, come here!!"- I opened my arms and wrapped them around my friend, kissing the top of her hair a few times- "I love you too, and you are going to come back so soon you won't have time to miss us. You'll see. Papa Rossi and Dada Hotch are gonna fix everything."

I was drunk. Seriously drunk. But that wasn't the reason why I was so sweet with JJ. The truth is, I was broken-hearted. Like Penelope and Reid, I didn't manage change very well, and the fact that JJ was forced to leave made me feel frustrated and mad. But most of all, it made me think of every time I had been a little bitch with her during the years. And I regretted each one of them.

- "And we won't be far!"- Emily added and caressed JJ's arm, smiling kindly- "You will still be in town, and we will not leave you alone"- JJ chuckled and nodded.

- "I know, girls. Shit, I love you all so much!"

- "We love you too!"- Penelope sobbed and moved closer, wrapping the three of us in her arms.

- "Please, take care!"- JJ wiped off the tears from her eyes and looked at us- "Emily, don't do anything stupid! Don't rush in the field, and please don't take your fucking vest off!!"

- "I won't! I promise!"

- "You have to live to be Unit chief one day!"- JJ added, and Prentiss widened her eyes, shocked.

- "That's not really my gold."

- "But you'd be queen, baby!!"- Jareau added and turned to Penelope- "And you, please make sure Hotch eats. I kept a stack of granola bars on my desk to keep him fueled during the day. He usually forgets lunchtime and skips dinner, so..."

- "Don't worry, JJ,"- Penelope nodded, and we all felt our heartbreak a little thinking about all the things JJ did in her daily basics to take care of the team, and we didn't even know.

- "How are we going to survive without you?"- I mumbled, pouting. JJ chuckled and held my hand.

- "You are a rock, and you will do a fantastic job keeping this team together. Just, please, can you and Spencer start dating now?"

I wide opened my eyes and stared at JJ. The comment surprised me. I shouldn't, 'cos the whole "you and Spencer should start dating" joke was getting old. Only this time, JJ wasn't joking. She held both my hands and looked right into my eyes.

- "(Y/N), he loves you"- I was about to argue with her, but she covered my mouth with her Cheetos smelling hand.

- "Don't say a word! Spencer loves you so much you really must be blind not to see it. And I know you love him too. It's implied in all the little things you do for him every day. So don't take it for granted. Don't think this will last forever 'cos look at me! A week ago, I was happily working at the BAU, and now I'm drinking at my goodbye party! So don't waste any more time! You are in love with Spencer, and he loves you! It doesn't take a profiler to see it. So please! Act on it!"

There was a dramatic silence after. I didn't know how to break it. I could just joke around, but somehow, it didn't feel right. It had been too quiet for too long, and that made everything harder to deny. Finally, Emily put her hand on mine, just like JJ was still doing, and smiled at me.

- "There's nothing to be ashamed of, (Y/N). You are not the first person to fall for her best friend."

- "And the Junior G Man loves you so much,"- Penelope added, landing her hand on our hands too.

- "As his friend"- I corrected and sighed. I guess that was it. After three years, I could probably start facing my feelings in front of my friends.

- "No, (Y/N)"- Garcia tried to argue, but I shook my head and stood up, 'cos all that sudden attention and affection was bothering me.

- "PG, I was in Hawaii with the man, sharing a room, walking around in a bikini, and he didn't do anything."

- "That's because he is shy!"- Emily excused him right away.

- "My bikini leaves pretty much nothing to the imagination. Do you know what he said when he first saw me on it?"- I looked at my friend and poured us another round of tequila- "And I quote, "I don't think I brought enough books. This one is too interesting."

I air quoted with my fingers as we spoke, and the three of them looked at me, speechless. I made my point and drank my shot, feeling the alcohol burning down my throat. My friends opened their mouths but didn't produce a word. I sighed and looked at them.

- "But he hates the beach, and he took you there anyway,"- Emily pointed out

- "Did he give you his speech about how he hates sandy food?"- JJ asked me, and I chuckled, nodding.

- "And about pink skin, limited and unengaging topography, and of course, the real reason he hates the beach: drug-resistant bacteria spread by seagull feces."

- "And the man took you to the beach!"- Penelope argued.

- "But he didn't do anything! he didn't make his move, didn't even hold my hand!!"- I nearly shouted- "That's why, among a lot of reasons, is how I know Spencer is not interested in me! If only I'd tell you all the shit we've been through!"

- "Please!! Tell us!!"- Garcia begged and grabbed one of my legs- "I won't live another day 'cos I won't be able to deal with the mystery!"

- "No! 'cos you are gonna tell Morgan"- I slurred- "And he is going to embarrass and tease my honey bunny, and my honey bunny is gonna get all nervous and nervous around me, and we are never going to..."- I stopped talking and looked at my friends. I was sharing too much.

- "(Y/N)?"- Prentiss looked at me, but I just shook my head and looked down.

- "I think I better go home."

- "No, you can't drive like this,"- JJ argued immediately and held my hand- "I'm not gonna let you go intoxicated. Will is gonna come pick me up, and we'll drop you in your place."

I nodded at her and stayed still. My friends smiled at me, and slowly very slowly, I leaned on JJ's shoulder and rested my head on it.

- "I love you, boo,"- I whispered, and she giggled- "I don't think I'll stay sane without you there with us anymore."

- "Hotch is gonna manage to get her back,"- Penelope assured me, and I just nodded.

- "Meanwhile, we won't replace you, and if anyone tries to push someone new into the team, we are not gonna take them,"- I added, feeling JJ's hand holding mine.

- "Don't be mean with people just 'cos you miss me. If there's a new teammate, it won't be their fault I was pushed out of the BAU."

- "But, JJ,"- I tried to argue, but she shook her head right away.

- "No, (Y/N). You can't be mean to people just because."

Clearly, my friend hoped I could be the better person. The simple question was: did I want to be the better person? Right there, drunk and sad, the answer was no.

Spencer's point of view

I kept finding myself awake at four in the morning, walking around my apartment, not able to read or to write anything. For the last months, at least twice or three times each week, I would stay awake, no matter how tired I felt, and I would haunt my own apartment, listening to my vinyl records.

The sudden lack of sleep wasn't really something weird in me. I have always been nocturnal. Besides, the news of JJ's departure had hit us all pretty hard. I had already shared my share of tears and tried to manage the fury that caused me to know we were helpless to the government's decisions. There was nothing we could do, neither us, Hotch, or even Strauss. Not that she would if she could.

My family was in crisis, and all we could do was hope for the best and stay together.

It was scary losing JJ. It made me think of all the things that could go wrong every day on the field daily. It was bad that we could get hurt or even die on our work. But that they divided us that way made no sense. Like Rossi said: our loss was someone else's winning, and in the FBI, no one cared if we lost.

I poured myself a cup of herbal tea and inhaled the smell of it. It smelled like home. Like (Y/N). She had some of her favorite teas in my apartment. She had a bunch of all her things there, actually. When mom visited, she thought we were living together. She is still sure we are dating and that I don't wanna tell her. I don't longer argue with her about it. It's useless, and it somehow feels good to imagine in another world. It was actually true.

That year my feelings for my best friend had grown in a way that made it all more difficult to deal with. I didn't just love her. I was in love with her. She was in everything I did, in each and every one of my thoughts. I could hear her laughter in my head, like a record playing my favorite song over and over again.

When she was out there in the field, I couldn't stop running all the probabilities of her getting hurt, and most of the time, I would do my best to keep her safe, knowing it could somehow interfere with the case.

Hotch had called me to his office a few times, aware something was going with me. He could read it on my face, I guess. It was scary to know everybody could read my feelings for (Y/N) but her. And it was sad to think of the worst: that she knew how much I loved her, but she didn't feel the same, and she was just being my friend 'cos she was never going to be anything else but my friend.

I drank my tea and hummed the song that sounded in my house at four in the morning: Love is a losing game. Seemed pretty accurate for my mood. I remember the day I got that vinyl. We were out with (Y/N), Frank, and Lu, looking for a present for Mikey's birthday, and we ended up in a record store, getting a million vinyl records for ourselves.

- "Are you getting all those?"- (Y/N) asked me and looked at the seven albums in my hand.

- "Yes, why? I can't?"- I answered and raised an eyebrow.

- "Sassy!"- she giggled and grabbed them- "You can get all the albums you want. But I have to give my approval first. No, you are not getting this!"- she grabbed The Beatles' Revolver and left it aside.

- "What? Why? It's only one I need to complete my collection."

- "I know, but when you get it, you'll force me to listen to it, and I don't like the Beatles,"- she argued, and I just shook my head, taking the album again.

- "Sorry, chipmunk, I'm buying it."

- "Fine. I won't go to your house for the next couple of weeks then."

- "Why don't you tell me which album you wanna listen to when you are in my house then?"- I looked at her, smiling at me and looking for a record on the shelves.

- "This! You need some Amy in your life."

And I did. Now, at four in the morning, all alone walking around, I could see her in my apartment, singing along to her favorite songs while cooking dinner, feeling at home. I wished she was there, with me, doing nothing. Watching tv, or reading. Just hanging out. I knew it wasn't healthy being in love with my friend, seeing her every day, and also hanging out with her every chance I got. But even when I knew she was never going to love me the way I did, I was going to take every chance I had to enjoy her company. If that was all I was going to get.

My phone took me from my thoughts, and I quickly walked to my room to get it. I thought it was Hotch announcing a case, but it was JJ.

- "Hey! JJ, everything ok? Is Henry ok?"

- "Yes, hi Spence. We are all ok."

- "It's four in the morning."

- "Sorry I woke you up... I just..." - she made a pause and sighed at the other side of the line- "Spencer, you know I love you."

- "I love you too. You are one of my best friends. Is everything ok?"

- "Yes, I just wanted to... remember a bunch of years ago, when you asked me to that football game?"

A million years had passed since the one and only time I had asked JJ out. It was the only move I tried to do on her, and I failed incredibly. It was awkward, and she had no idea it was a date, so she invited Garcia to come along. I was so embarrassed I never even mentioned that single event ever again, and our friendship grew after.

- "Yes, I remember, JJ. Why?"

- "When you asked me out, did you have a crush on me?"

- "JJ, are you drunk?"- I had to ask 'cos that conversation was starting to scare me.

- "Yes, but that's not why I'm talking about this. Just answer the questions, Spence. When you asked me out on that date, did you have a crush on me?"

- "Yes, I did."

I closed my eyes, embarrassed to face feelings that were far forgotten.

- "You see, I had a crush on you too back then,"- JJ said and chuckled- "But neither of us acted on it, and life continued, and now I'm in love with Will, and we have a baby, and you are his godfather."

Of all the things I thought I would listen to that day, never in a million years, I imagined I would hear JJ drunk telling me she had a crush on me when we first met.

- "Now, do you want that to happen again?"- she asked, and I didn't get it, 'cos I was still trying to process what I had just heard. So I might have had a relationship with her if only I had said something, act on it. Kiss her, ask her out again?

- "What?"

- "Spence. Do you want to miss the chance to be with the girl you like?"

- "No, but JJ, what are you talking about?"

She sighed, frustrated, and used that tone of voice with me, that very maternal specific tone of voice she used to explain things she knew were hard for me to follow.

- "When you like someone, Spence, you have to tell her. 'Cos sometimes, life gets in the way, and if you don't do what you have to do to be happy, no one will do it for you."

- "Are you ok, JJ?"

- "Yes, Spence, I'm ok. I'm home with Will. We just got here after dropping (Y/N) off her place."

- "How was she?"

- "She might have had a few too many drinks, but she'll be ok in the morning. Maybe she'd appreciate it if you brought her coffee and donuts."

- "She doesn't like donuts,"- I corrected her- "She likes cupcakes and brownies."

- "Sorry. Coffee and cupcakes... just tell her you love her, Spence. She deserves to know."

I held my breath and closed my eyes. I didn't get why JJ was telling me that, but I knew I didn't want to talk about it. So I said good night and hung up.

What was the point of telling me we could have been a couple of years had passed already? Why didn't she say a thing before? Or even better, why didn't she ever say a word about it at all? So I missed the chance to be happy with her. Great. One more regret to add to my list.

I laid on my bed and tried to remember that date. I was so nervous that day, my hands shook inside my pockets as I walked to JJ's door. She looked beautiful that day, especially when she looked at me and announced she had invited Penelope to join us.

That was when I realized she would never see me as a proper date, just like a friend. And I learned to make my peace with that over the years. My crush for JJ lasted a few more months, but it vanished when I fell for (Y/N). What if she had never joined the team? Would I have been in love with JJ forever? Jeniffer always made me feel like her little brother, and I guess that's the mechanic that works for us. We were good friends ever since we met, and yes, I had a crush on her, but we work more like siblings than anything else.

What was the point in telling me I had missed a chance with her now? I just couldn't see it.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The next few weeks were us trying to survive without JJ. The team was making the best it could, but it was hard. Penelope took the lead during the second case without JJ. She turned into our tech analyst and communication liaison, only to collapse under the pressure of having two roles.

No one was going to replace JJ. We all knew it. Literally, no one, 'cos Hotch decided he and Garcia were going to split the job, and we were all going to collaborate as much as we could, 'cos we were a team. A family. And that's what families do.

And families were the target of the unsub we were hunting the day everything changed. Again. I hadn't recovered from the departure of JJ when Rossi and Hotch walked to the bullpen and introduced us to Agent Trainee Ashley Seaver.

My nemesis.

- "Agent trainee Seaver"- Rossi smiled at her like a proud father and looked at us as we stood up, wondering who she was- "Supervisory Special Agent Prentiss, (Y/L/N), and Morgan."

- "I've heard so much about the three of you,"- she said with the sweetest tone of voice I had ever heard. Something about that felt odd.

- "I hope it is all good- Morgan flirted right away, of course."

- "Very, sir."

- "Anything specific? I mean about me in particular?"- I turned to him and failed in holding back my chuckles.

- "Please, don't encourage him, or he will never stop talking,"- I said, and Derek elbowed me playfully. Seaver smiled at us and even blushed a little bit. She was nervous.

- "Agent Seaver is on loan to us from the academy while she is remedial training with an injury."

Hotch announced. And my stomach tightened right away. There was something wrong with that whole scene. I could feel it in my guts. But I didn't know why?

- "Concussion. Hand to hand got a little out of control."- Seaver explained and kept a silly smile on her face.

- "How's the other guy?"- Prentiss asked.

- "Don't ask."

- "I was remediated in the academy also,"- Spencer said, walking over us, and suddenly I understood why I had a bad feeling about everything.

- "Agent Seaver, Dr. Reid."

As soon as I heard Rossi say those words, there was a part of me who just wanted to hold Spencer's hand and push him away from her, even before they could say hi. She looked at him like he was eye candy, and I clenched my knuckles as I stared at the scene.

- "Uhm... What was your issue?"- she asked him, and I could see the pink on her cheek intensifying as he looked at her, confused.

- "What was my issue? Marksmanship, physical training, obstacle course, Hogan's alley. You know, pretty much everything that wasn't technically book related. They ultimately had to make exceptions to allow me into the field."

Seaver stared at him and kept nodding, though I wondered if she was listening to what he had said. Spencer looked exceedingly handsome that day. His hair was very short for the first time in years, and he still had no idea how to comb it, so it was all over the place, making him look as hot as fuck.

I was so in love with him, I didn't know what to do with those feelings at all. It was hard working with Reid at that point. I just wanted to kiss him.

- "Agent Seaver's going to accompany us to New Mexico,"- Aaron announced, and I couldn't help but question him right away.

- "She is?"

- "As a consultant."- he assured me.

- "On?"- Morgan raised an eyebrow and looked at Hotch, wondering what a trainee agent could help us with as a consultant.

- "She has a unique perspective,"- Rossi tried to explain, but it sounded like bullshit.

- "They don't know?"- Seaver turned to the elderly agents, and they shook their heads.

- "Well, we weren't sure how you wanted to,"- David whispered.

- "Uh... Seaver's not my original last name. It's my mother's maiden name. Mine used to be Beauchamp. My father is Charles Beauchamp"- Ashley was supposed to explain the circumstances of her consultancy to the whole team, but she just looked at Spencer as she spoke.

- "As in the Redmond ripper, Charles Beauchamp?"- he asked her, and suddenly, it clicked. It was like my whole body was telling me I couldn't be close to her for a reason.

- "That's him,"- she whispered and kept her eyes on my best friend as he continued talking.

- "He killed 25 women over 10 years in rural North Dakota. I think that you caught him, right, Rossi?"- and David nodded.

- "Hotch was on that team, too."

- "Based on her life experience, we were hoping that agent Seaver might recognize something in the family dynamics inside the community that could be helpful. We have a plane waiting,"- Hotch announced and looked at us, but none of us said a word.

I kept my eyes glued at my feet the whole time Aaron talked. Then, Spencer nodded and walked with Seaver and Rossi out to the hangar. I couldn't even blink. I think I was in shock.

- "Her father was a serial killer?"- Prentiss asked Hotch, not getting what he was thinking.

- "That's definitely a different set of parameters,"- Morgan added. Neither of them was sold on the idea, which made me feel a little bit better.

- "I don't want her presence to get us sidetracked. It's a long shot that she's gonna see anything helpful. We work it like any other case,"- Hotch was clear, and Prentiss and Morgan nodded.

- "You got it."

But I disagreed with that.

- "(Y/N), is everything ok?"- Aaron asked me, and I tried my best to lie and be cool.

- "Yeah, I'm ok."

- "Ok. We work this like any other case. Wheels up in twenty."

But everything was far from being ok.

I sat next to Spencer on the jet, and we reviewed the case files together. Hotch briefed us, and we all pretended it wasn't weird having Seaver there. And I guess we had to pretend it wasn't odd knowing her dad was a serial killer.

- "You are very young, (Y/N),"- she said and smiled at me. She was sitting across from Spencer and me, and you could tell she had been trying to join the conversation for a few minutes now.

-" Twenty eight,"- I answered and looked at the files again.

- "And you, doctor?"

- "You can call me Reid. I'm twenty eight too,"- Spencer cut her a short, awkward, and nervous smile, and I turned to him.

- "Honey, did I leave my Mets jersey at your house?"- it was the only question that came to my mind at that minute. It was completely random, but somehow it showed a part of our dynamic that Ashley didn't know. Our friendship. Our closeness.

- "Yes, I found it last night,"- he answered and sipped his coffee- "I was gonna bring it over, but then I remembered you always borrow all my sweaters when you are home or when you stay over, so I thought maybe it was a good idea to keep it at my place."

- "I don't know, Batsy. It's my favorite sweatshirt- I raised an eyebrow, and I'm pretty sure I even flirted a little bit."

- "So? You need to keep one there."

- "But I like wearing your clothes when we are at your place. It's extra large and extra comfy."

- "Is that why you keep taking my sweaters back to your house?"- he asked and chuckled- "Last Sunday, I found four of my sweaters in your closet."

- "Sorry, I'm not even sorry,"- I said and laughed- "And what were you doing in my closet?"

- "Lucy, Ricky, can we focus on the case?"- Morgan asked and waved at us with one silly grin on his face- "We love hearing your adorable daily adventures, but we've got a psycho killer to catch."

Spencer blushed and flustered right away. I stuck out my tongue at Morgan and just shook my head. The way Seaver looked at Reid was still driving me nuts, but I felt I had shown her he was mine, childishly.

It's embarrassing to think that's not the most childish thing I did around her those days. Or in the weeks to follow. But I didn't like Ashley, and I didn't want her around my team. And it wasn't just her constant flirting with Spencer. It was the fact her father had killed my mother's sister when she was in college, and I was making my best effort to keep that fact aside from work. My personal life had to stay out of the FBI, especially when working a case.

I had to do some serious mental work trying to remember it wasn't Ashley's fault her father was a sick bastard. She hadn't hurt my family, and her father had ruined her life too. It wasn't her fault.

But one thing is knowing. Another thing is being rational about it. Spoiler: I wasn't so rational about it.

- "So, (Y/N). Do you like working at the BAU?"- Ashley asked me and looked at me through the rearview mirror. We were in the SUV, and Prentiss was driving. I was in the back seat, trying to ignore her, but she made it impossible.

- "Yes, very much,"- I answered and nodded, not taking my eyes from the window.

- "Everybody is very friendly,"- Seaver added and made a pause. I don't know if she wanted me to say something or if she was trying to find a way to say what she wanted to say.

- "Yes, they are,"- I humored her, and she quickly responded.

- "Are you and Spencer dating?"- I could feel the blood raising my cheeks as she spoke. And Prentiss flashed me a look through the mirror as Ashley continued talking.

- "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude. I just wondered because of the fraternization policy."

- "Right. Sure. Of course."

Those three words were meant to let Ashley know I wasn't buying her bullshit, So I literally spit them.

- "Spencer is my best friend. We are not dating."

Facing that simple truth had never been harder before, especially after how I saw Ashley's face light up.

- "You just seem to be so close."

- "Oh, they are close,"- Emily smiled at me and winked- "They are so close, they sometimes freak us out."

- "We freak you out?"- I raised an eyebrow and carefully hit her arm, pretending to be upset. But honestly, I was glad she was teasing me.

- "I am just saying, we are all pretty suspicious about you two. I am actually surprised you didn't share rooms tonight. They usually share rooms."- Emily explained to Seaver.

- "He was paired with Morgan,"- I pouted and looked at my phone. I thought maybe I could send him a funny text. I actually wanted to hang out with him.

- "He is very nice,"- Ashley added- "I mean, everybody is nice."

- "Yes, you mentioned it"

I was clearly not being nice. Seaver nodded and looked at the files again. I assumed she was trying to find a way to keep asking about Spencer, and I was making my best not to kill her.

- "Working with a genius must be somehow intimidating,"- she said after a few minutes. Damn it, she wasn't going to let that subject go.

- "It's fun working with Spencer,"- Prentiss said, trying to humor Seaver. And mostly, I guess trying to ease my mood and keep me from killing the trainee agent.

- "I'm sure it is,"- Seaver added. I hated her.

- "He is more than just a genius, he is a nerd."- Emily pointed out and chuckled at her words, making Seaver giggle too. I looked at my book again, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to concentrate on it at all. He was my nerd. Mine.

- "Well, it's very refreshing to be with a group who trusts and works so well together,"- she added- "I had never felt less judged and more welcome in my entire life."

I know I should have felt sorry for her. But I honestly couldn't. That was the day I realized I wasn't the good person I thought I was. There was a part of me that was a scumbag. I'm guessing knowing that is pretty helpful and positive 'cos you can work on your flaws. But I wasn't planning on working on anything at that minute, though. I just wanted to break Seaver's face.

Spencer's point of view

I didn't like working without JJ. I've never been good with change, and that was a massive alteration of our routine. I missed her, and adding Ashley to the team made things even weirder for me, even for a case. I didn't want to be judgemental, but her father was a serial killer. Of course, that would make things weird.

Besides, everybody kept bugging me, teasing me, trying to see if I liked Seaver. Penelope called while we were on the case and started taunting me, saying she knew I thought Ashley was cute. I could see she was beautiful, but I couldn't see her that way. And I didn't want anyone to say those kinds of things around (Y/N).

Why did I care so much?

I didn't want to face it 'cos I knew it was completely platonic, but I didn't want (Y/N) to think I had a crush on Seaver. I knew my best friend didn't have romantic feelings for me, and I also knew I wasn't going to make a move on her or anything. But I didn't want things to change more than they already had. And most of all, I didn't want anything to alter my dynamic with (Y/N).

But at the same time, somehow, it felt everything was already different between us.

- "Hey, honey bunny,"- (Y/N) walked to me and handed me a cup of coffee- "I thought you might need one of these."

- "You are a lifesaver,"- I whispered and sipped the cup. It was perfect.

We were on the jet on our way back home. The whole team was mostly quiet. The mood was weird. Ashley had done something quite reckless earlier and nearly got herself killed. She walked to the unsub's house all alone, not knowing he was our guy. She almost died, and none of us can even imagine what went through her head to do such a thing.

Rossi and Hotch walked to her. (Y/N) looked at me, and I could read on her face that both of us knew what was going to happen.

Ashley was alone when David sat in front of her, and Hotch stood in the middle of the aisle. Maybe that had been insensitive of us. Neither of us tried to contain her. Neither of us really knew her that well. Or at all, as a matter of fact.

- "You were not supposed to go off on your own."- Hotch went straight to the point.

- "I know,"- she whispered, and I could see how (Y/N)'s face changed. I tried to read her, but all I was able to see was... anger? I had to be wronged. She had no reason to be mad at Ashley.

- "You could have been killed,"- Hotch crossed his arms on his chest and stared at her.

- "I know that, too."

- "Why, Ashley? You're smarter than that"- Rossi sounded like a worried father. I didn't look at him 'cos I kept my eyes on (Y/N)'s, still trying to read her emotions. But what I saw made no sense. She really looked like she was angry at Ashley. Like she hated her.

- "I never got to apologize to any of the victims. The families of the women my father killed. I thought if I could just apologize to one family that had been hurt that way..."

And that was when (Y/N) snapped. She jumped from her seat and walked to Seaver. Aaron and David looked at her surprised, and Morgan turned to me, taking off his headphones. Neither he nor Prentiss got what was happening until that moment.

- "Ok. Shoot!"- (Y/N) sat right in front of Seaver, next to David, and looked at her. But she didn't get it.

- "What? What are you talking about?"

- "You just said you wanted to apologize to one of the families. So go ahead. Try."

The silence on the jet was so deep and awkward it felt no one was ever going to talk again.

- "I'm sorry, (Y/N). But I don't get what you are implying,"- Ashley's voice was a whisper. I knew she was sad and affected, embarrassed even. But I also knew (Y/N), and I could read it on her face. She wasn't joking.

- "You said you wanted to apologize to the family of one of your dad's victims, so go ahead. Apologize to me."

My first instinct was to stand up, which I did. But I froze and didn't take a step closer to (Y/N) when I noticed the severe and cold look in her eyes. I didn't know what she was talking about. But I knew she wasn't bluffing.

- "Why should I... apologize to you?"- Ashley asked her, and her voice broke at a certain point, probably scared of the answer.

- "Your dad killed my mother's older sister. She was in college,"- (Y/N) spit each word with hate and looked at Ashley, waiting for her reply. But Seaver didn't know what to do. She widened her eyes and stayed still. She barely kept her breathing steady.

- "(Y/N), maybe we should let Seaver rest,"- Hotch landed a hand on her shoulder, but my friend shook her head.

- "No, Hotch. By making that choice, she put everyone at risk,"- (Y/N) didn't take her eyes from Ashley as she spoke- "As far as I remember when you are at the academy, they teach you that in the field, we are responsible to and for your team."

- "(Y/N)... I had no idea..."- Ashley tried to apologize, I could see it, but it was clear she wasn't going to win that argument- "I am so sorry."

- "I don't know, Seaver. Did you think saying "sorry" would make those families feel better? 'Cos it ain't working here. "Sorry" won't make my mom stop feeling guilty about what happened. And, if things had gotten ugly back there, "sorry" wouldn't have made your mistake go away in case anyone would have gotten hurt. So no. Sorry doesn't help. Maybe it can ease your conscience, but when you really fuck it up, it never makes things better."

(Y/N) stood up and walked back to her seat in front of me. I let her pass and didn't say a word. I knew she wouldn't want to talk about it there. And, of course, Seaver didn't say a word. She just stood up and walked to the back of the jet, to the bathroom. Rossi and Hotch looked at each other and then looked at me.

David poured a glass of whiskey and walked to (Y/N) slowly. He didn't say a word, he just handed it to her, and she just took it and sipped it with shaky hands.

- "Thanks,"- she whispered, and Rossi nodded. Hotch raised an eyebrow, and for a moment, I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't. He just walked to his seat and opened a case file.

I moved back to my seat and opened my satchel. I had run out of candies earlier that day, so I didn't have much to give to her that could make her smile. So I picked a book and handed it to her. She took it and smiled at me kindly. I knew she was fighting back the tears, and I am sure she has held back all the emotions than being with the daughter of the man who killed her aunt since she knew who Seaver was. And she managed to do the job well. I was proud of her.

- "Wanna grab something to eat when we reach DC?"- I whispered, but for the first time ever, she shook her head.

- "I'm gonna have to catch a rain check for that dinner. I think I wanna go straight to my bed today, honey."- she sipped her glass again, and I nodded.

- "Don't worry, next time."

I was waiting for the train to go back home later that night when I saw Seaver sitting at a bench at the station, staring at her hands on her lap. I didn't see her leaving the BAU, though to be honest, I was really focused on finishing my paperwork to go home. (Y/N) had left as soon as we reached DC, but I had stayed a little longer.

I hesitated for a few seconds before I took a few steps closer and waved at Seaver. She looked at me surprised, as soon as she saw me, but didn't move. I smiled, trying to look friendly, and sat next to her.

- "Hi. What are you doing here?"- I asked her, and she shrugged.

- "I was going to go home, but I think I sat here half an hour ago and haven't been able to move,"- I turned to her and shook my head.

- "Do you want to eat something?"- after what had happened at the jet, I figured Ashley wasn't feeling so good, and maybe talking with someone could help her. She looked at me and blushed; I don't know why. But at least, she smiled and nodded.

- "Great, pizza?"

- "Pizza sounds good."

We were waiting for our food and making small talk. I kept giving Ashley pizza facts to fill the silence 'cos it was weird hanging out with Ashley. I didn't know her, really. We had worked a case together, but that didn't mean I knew her. And, of course, we had the whole jet incident. I felt a little guilty about what had happened, though it wasn't my fault at all in retrospect. I just felt like it was my job cheering her up a little bit after everything she had gone through.

- "How do you do it?"- she asked me all of a sudden- "How do you deal with the pressure of this job?"

- "You get used to it, I guess. I don't know if it's a good thing to get used to, but... it comes with the job, I think,"- I didn't know if I was doing ok comforting her. Then again, I have never been particularly good at it. Not then, not now.

- "Did you always dream about doing this?"- she asked me, and her eyes locked into mine in a way that made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

- "Y... yes. Ever since I was a kid, catching the bad guys,"- Seaver nodded and sipped her coke- "You? Why did you get into the academy?"

I regretted my question right after I asked, just 'cos I realized she might have done it to understand her father's behavior. It was only apparent that had shaped her actions.

- "I guess you know that..."- Ashley answered and smiled, her eyes looking straight into mine. I know I blushed. She is a beautiful woman, though I wasn't thinking about her that way. It was an odd feeling being observed that way.

I was glad our pizza made it to the table, and we were forced to stop talking, and I could focus on anything else but her. Not that I didn't want to look at her, but... I think the right way to explain it is to call it "uneasy." That's how I felt. I wanted to be friendly with her, she had a horrible experience consulting with the team, and I was sure she wasn't really having a good day.

- "This might sound weird, but... do you think I can call you sometime?"- Ashley asked after a few minutes. We were eating and talking about nothing important. I nearly chook at her words and looked at her, nodding.

- "Sure, why?"- I didn't mean to be rude. I just didn't know why she might need to talk to me again.

- "I just think maybe you could help me with a few assignments at the academy."

- "Yeah, of course."

Ashley Seaver smiled and nodded at me, pleased. She took a sip of Sprite, and I could read her, trying to find the words to continue speaking.

- "I'm glad. I was sure you were going to say no."

- "Why?"- I furrowed my brows, confused- "I'm not a big fan of phones, but I can handle a casual phone call."

- "No, I just didn't think your girlfriend would like... I mean, I think (Y/N) hates me, and as her boyfriend, I thought you... would... I don't know."

- "I'm, we are... we,"- I was completely flustered as I tried to rearrange my thoughts. Seaver looked at me innocently and waited for my words.

- "(Y/N) isn't my girlfriend"- it bothered me to admit that simple fact. Why? 'Cos it hurt to think we looked like a couple, but we weren't. Why did Seaver think we were together?

- "Really? But..."

- "She is my best friend,"- I explained poorly. She nodded and hesitated before saying what she was thinking. It was obvious she was trying to arrange the words in her head.

- "It's just that you two... sorry, I'm overstepping,"- Ashley blushed and shook her head- "She is... strong."

- "Yes, very."

- "I think I started with the wrong foot with her."

- "Well, I don't mean to justify anything, but if your father hurt,"- I made a pause, trying to find a way to say it that wasn't so painful.

- "Killed. My father killed her aunt,"- she corrected me with a cold and monotonous tone of voice. I just nodded and sipped my water.

- "She is an amazing person,"- I don't know if I was trying to excuse (Y/N)'s earlier behavior or if I just loved her so much I needed to tell people how awesome she was.

- "I'm sure you will pass this,"- I assured her- "Once you get to know her, and she gets to know you."

- "I don't think she will give me that chance. Besides, I was just clear to assist with only one case."

- "If you want to stay, you can request your remedial training be here. And if Hotch approves it, I could talk to (Y/N). I'm sure she will like to know you better."

Why did I say all that? I had no idea.

- "Thank you, Spence. You are really sweet,"- Ashley moved closer and held my hand. I stayed very still, absolutely awkward.

- "Yeah, I don't... like... holding hands,"- I quickly moved it away and tried to smile at her. She stayed still, not understanding my reaction but trying to act normal.

- "Sorry."

- "That's ok. I'm a germaphobe, that's all."

After pizza, we left the place and said goodnight. I told Ashley I was weary (which was, in fact, the truth) and got her a cab to take her home. After that, I walked to my place. I felt like I needed to be alone for a while. My head was overwhelmed, and in the latest couple of weeks, I had severe trouble sleeping.

I had migraines that nearly blinded me. I was scared they meant I could develop the first signs of schizophrenia, like mom, 'cos they were coming more and more often. It wasn't that bad yet, the light didn't hurt my eyes, and I didn't have any sign of hallucination, but still, I knew it could be serious.

I tried to think of a reason why I might be having those severe headaches. I was eating correctly, mostly 'cos (Y/N) forced me to eat. No, she didn't force me, but she made sure I had all my meals at work, not just coffee. And usually, at the weekends, we would spend our time together, and she was a fantastic cook. So it wasn't an alimentary issue.

I wasn't sleeping well. That wasn't new, but it was getting serious. I wrote and read a lot at night 'cos I couldn't fall asleep until late. I didn't know why. I just couldn't rest. My body ached, and my brain wouldn't sleep. The only nights I could actually get some rest were the ones when (Y/N) stayed with me. It was a blessing when Hotch paired us to share rooms, 'cos I could easily fall asleep when she was around. Her presence soothed me in a way that I didn't understand. Let me put it this way, I know it might sound cheesy, but the beating of her heart set the rhythm for my own, and at night it would bring me peace.

I reached home that night and sighed. I knew I wasn't going to rest easy. (Y/N) wasn't there with me. So I made myself a cup of herbal tea, (Y/N) had a lot of those in my house, and I drank them when I missed her. The smell coming from the cup made me feel like she was close.

How pathetic I had become! But I could only share those thoughts with myself. No one knew I had feelings for her, and I was going to deny it till the end, no matter what had JJ said. I couldn't take that phone call from my mind, and on those sleepless nights, I kept overthinking and overanalyzing everything.

I got into bed with a few books and my cup of herbal tea. I took a look at my cell phone, two new messages.

- "I miss u"

(Y/N) sent, and a warm feeling spread on my chest as I imagined her whispering those words as I read them

- "Breakfast tomorrow before work?"

- "See you at seven-thirty."

I typed and sent it.

What could ever happen if I told her how much in love I am with her? I would lose her, and I'd be alone. She didn't feel that way for me. It was a fact. I was just glad she was my best friend, and I could share everything with her. Was I pathetic? Yes, very, but in a way, it felt it was just all I deserved. Not more, not less. Just being in love with a girl who didn't love me back.

At least she wasn't dating Paul anymore. I hated that guy.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Spencer was waiting for me outside our usual coffee shop, already holding two cups of coffee. His short hair looked dreamy as she smiled and took off his sunglasses. It had to be illegal being that hot. But, seriously, how didn't he get laid? He was fucking dreamy. In the four years we had been best friends, I saw Spencer in many hairstyles, and each of them made him look like a model.

Falling in love with Spencer Reid had been a process I hadn't actually been fully aware of. But I was completely conscious I needed to hide those feelings from him and from everybody at the BAU.

Ok, fine, I had somehow faced part of those feelings in front of my drunk best buddies at Penelope's house, but I never actually confirmed anything. I had just... shared some of my frustrations, I guess.

- "Good morning, honey bunny,"- I smiled and sighed as I stood in front of Spencer, watching him grin back at me and hand me one of the coffee cups.

- "Good morning, chipmunk. Did you get some rest?"

- "Yes, I fell asleep as soon as I reached my bed. I was exhausted."

- "I'm glad you are fully rested."

- "What did you do yesterday?"

- "Nothing,"- he answered quickly and turned around- "I got you a carrot muffin to go."

- "Thank you so much. I'm starving. I didn't even have dinner yesterday."

- "Really?"

- "I told you, I reached home and crawled into my bed."

We walked outside the coffee shop in silence. Spencer bit his donuts, and I ate my muffin. It was nice and calming being with him doing domestic things in life.

I hated how much in love I was with him 'cos I knew I had to shake that feeling away. He was never going to have feelings for me. I was a regular human being, and Spencer Walter Reid was a genius. He deserved better, he was actually never to think about me that way, and I refused to ruin our friendship with those feelings.

- "So, Comic-con is coming. What are we doing this year?"- I asked as I drove us to Quantico.

- "I was thinking we should do something classic,"- he looked at me, nearly beaming on his seat- "We haven't done Star Wars yet."

- "Really?"- I frowned, confused- "All these years? Are you sure?"

- "(Y/N), eidetic memory,"- he argued, and I chuckled- "So, how do you feel about Leia?"

- "Do I have to be Leia 'cos I'm a girl?"- I asked him, and he flustered right away.

- "What? No, you can be whoever you want to be. I was just, it came to my mind... I didn't,"- I giggled and looked at him for a second.

- "I'm messing with you, Batsy. I always wanted to dress as Leia. Surprisingly, I never had. Padme once, it was a mess, but never Leia. Who are you planning to be?"

- "Maybe Luke... or Obi-Wan. Morgan suggested C3PO once."

- "If I'm Leia, you should be Han,"- I don't know why I said that out loud. I thought about it, I pictured it in my head, but I knew I shouldn't have said it. Then why did those words leave my mouth? I don't know.

- "Han Solo... yes... yeah, sure. Of course! We can pick our outfits this weekend."

- "Great! What do you think would look better? Slave Leia or classic all in white Leia?"- Spencer didn't answer. He just sipped his coffee and looked outside the window.

- "You would look good in both,"- his cellphone interrupted our conversations, and I thought it might be a case. But I was so wrong, it hurt.

- "Hello? Oh, hi, Ashley,"- I nearly hit the break as soon as I heard him saying her name, but instead, I turned around and looked at him.

- "Good, yes. On my way to work with (Y/N). Oh, that's good."

I didn't care what she was saying. I just needed to know why that bitch was calling him. I was blind in jealousy, and I was having a hard time hiding it.

- "Really? Emily? That's... that's great. Sure, we'll see you around, gotta go. Bye."

- "What the fuck?"- I swear, I didn't think what I was saying. Those words just slip through my lips straight from my guts. I hated Seaver.

- "That was Ashley."

- "Figured when you said "Hi Ashley." What? Are you best friends with her now?"

- "What? No! No way! She just wanted to say hi... and... She.... asked for my number 'cos she wanted to help her with some of the academy's projects,"- Spencer was so nervous he actually stuttered as he answered my simple question.

- "Of course, she did,"- my voice was bitter and hurt, but most of all, ironic. And I don't know if Spencer didn't want to understand me or actually didn't get the hint, but he just continued talking.

- "She wanted to tell me she requested her remedial training be at the BAU."

- "What?!"- that wasn't subtle. I actually yelled- "I'm gonna have to see her again?"

- "If Hotch approves..."

- "Fuck!! That's awful!!"- I hit the wheel, frustrated.

- "She's not a bad person, (Y/N). Her dad was a murderer, but that doesn't mean..."- I turned to look at Spencer for a second, and he just shut up- "Sorry."

- "I don't like her, Spencer."

- "Yes, I know."

- "Her dad killed my aunt!!"

- "I know..."

- "And on top of that, that bitch is..."

I had to bite my lips and focus on the road, actually holding my breath for a few seconds, just not to open my mouth and ruin it all.

The main reason why I hated Ashley Seaver wasn't just because of what her father had done. That itself was enough to keep her away. But on top of that, she was flirting with Spencer. She wasn't even subtle about it; she was nearly all over him. I saw her! She wanted him, and he had no idea! He was blind to her attention. Unless he liked it. Did he? Shit, I hoped not.

- "She what?"- Spencer whispered, scared of my reaction.

- "She plays the pity card the whole time. Bad things happen to all of us. You don't have to make it who you are, she does, and she expects sympathy."

I grabbed my muffin and took a big bite of it. Spencer sighed and stayed quiet for a moment, giving me space to decompress, I think.

- "Did you know the origins of carrot cake are disputed by many countries?"- I looked at Spencer, and he nodded- "Many food historians believe carrot cake originated from the English recipe of carrot puddings, eaten by Europeans in the Middle Ages when sugar and sweeteners were expensive, and many people used carrots as a substitute for sugar."

- "My mom would fight all those historians and convince them she invented it. Her carrot cake is the best."

- "And I would agree, the cake she baked for your last birthday was amazing."- I nodded and heard him chuckle as I kept my eyes on the road. I wanted to focus on the memories of my last birthday and how fun it was, but something was bugging me.

- "And why did she call you to tell you what she wanted to do?"- I parked the car outside the BAU and turned to Spencer. He opened his mouth, but no word came from it. So I asked him again.

- "Honey, why did Seaver call you to announce she would take the remedial training at the BAU?"

- "It... might... had been my idea,"- he whispered and held his satchel tight against his body. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't believe it.

- "Why on earth did you do that, Spencer?!"- I shouted as I got out of the car, grabbed my purse, my clean go bag in case we had a case, and started walking towards the building.

- "It wasn't like a suggestion. She just..."

- "I can't believe it!!"

- "It doesn't have to be that bad! It's just for a few weeks..."

- "Hopefully, Hotch won't accept."

- "(Y/N), come on,"- Spencer held my hand and stopped me- "This is not like you. Yeah, you don't like her, but you are making it a big deal, and it's not."

- "I'm starting to think you are crushed on her,"- I didn't want to say those words. They just slipped.

- "What!? Why? No!! I'm not!"- the high pitch on Spencer's voice was a clear sign of how uncomfortable he was with the conversation.

- "Then why are you defending her?"

- "I am not! I'm just saying maybe you are acting a little bit... irrational about this whole thing. She hasn't done anything bad."

- "Other than jeopardizing the whole case yesterday?"

- "Right, other than that..."

I felt Spencer's hand in mine, and I swear, I couldn't stop thinking about how it felt. It kept sending shivers all over my body. His thumb rubbed small circles on my skin, probably trying to calm me down, and it worked. I followed it with my eyes for a second as I took a few deep breaths and nodded.

- "Ok, I won't make a big deal if she stays."

- "Thank you."

- "Just... don't ask me to be her friend."

- "You don't have to be her friend."

Spencer stood in front of me and smiled. I swear all I could think of was kissing him. And a part of me felt it was getting harder and harder to resist. He put on his sunglasses and kept his hand in mine for a moment until Penelope's voice took us from our little bubble.

- "Good morning, my wonder babies!! Ready to fight crime?"

I actually didn't know what I was getting into.

Hotch had taken the day off. We were around the one-year anniversary of Haley's death, and according to what Rossi explained to us, Jack wasn't feeling so good. It was said it would be just a day or two, but I had the feeling it might be a couple of weeks. Hotch would always put himself second, but he would do whatever it took to keep him safe when it came to his son.

Morgan had been asked to take a trip to Petersburg Federal Correctional Complex to do a risk assessment on a case, so Spencer, Prentiss, and I were in the bullpen. Garcia was in her office, and Rossi was in a meeting with Strauss. I'd say it was a very calm morning, catching up with all the pending paperwork we had. Spencer had just gotten me a cup of coffee when I heard Seaver's cheerful voice.

- "Hi guys!"- she walked in with a big smile and waved- "How are you?"

Spencer looked at me as we all said our hellos. I could almost read "Please, be nice" written all over his face, and for a moment, I was willing to do as told. I didn't want him to suspect why I was so annoyed by her after all.

- "I talked to Hotch"- Emily smiled at Seaver and moved a chair for her- He signed off your remedial training, and I'll be your training agent. I'll supervise your work. I already told Rossi too, so it's official.

Ashley jumped from her chair and hugged Emily. I rolled my eyes and stared at the file on my desk. I really wasn't ready to deal with her. I wasn't prepared to deal with someone trying to steal Spencer from me.

Ok, Spencer wasn't mine to keep, but we had been inseparable for four years, and I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to lose him.

I had never been ready to deal with Spencer dating other girls. The few times girls had hit on him had been awful. Once, Morgan took him to a club when we were on a case, 'cos the unsub was picking his victims there, and he taught him how to pick up girls. The bartender ended up giving him her number 'cos my dorky best friend was charming. Derek still remembered that moment from time to time, quoting it as "The day he turned Spencer into a man."

I loved Derek, but fuck, I hated him sometimes.

- "Welcome to the team,"- Spencer waved at Seaver from his desk and turned to me, raising an eyebrow.

- "Yeah, welcome,"- I added and cut her a short smile.

- "I'm thrilled to join you guys for a few weeks. I always dreamt of being here. I'm ready for making it up after the last case."

- "Don't be so hard on yourself,"- Prentiss interrupted her and smiled friendly- "You remained calm under pressure, and the case was solved. That's all that matters."

I had to control myself not to snort after Emily's words. Instead, I kept my eyes locked on my desk like I had done before. I was so focused on it that I could have actually developed telekinesis skills and moved the freaking file with my eyes.

- "I just wanted to say thank you to all of you,"- Seaver's voice was soft, in a mix of fear, excitement, and... something else I couldn't read.

- "Especially you, Spencer. I really enjoyed our talk last night, and I have the feeling I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Thank you for the pizza. I owe you dinner."

- "Don't, it was nothing,"- Spencer flustered and stood up quickly, grabbing his pile of files and walking away, arguing he needed to ask Garcia something.

I did my best not to move a muscle. I didn't want Seaver to know how much I hated the fact she had shared what seemed to be a lovely evening with Spencer. One he didn't actually mention when we talked about what we had done the previous evening. Why did he decide to keep me in the dark? I couldn't understand that. Maybe he just didn't want me to know he actually had feelings for Seaver. Maybe he had asked her out, and because he knew I hated her (though he really didn't know why), he decided not to tell me what was going on.

I had been wasting all that time in love with Spencer. I knew I would never act on those feelings, and clearly, he didn't have feelings for me. So... maybe it was time to let him go.

How could I let Spencer Reid go when I never actually had him?

–

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Next update: June 16th, 2021

#spencer reid #Criminal minds #matthew gray gubler #diwk #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x you #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds re write

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

Amoreena | chapter four

Chapter Four

summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, depressed spencer, reader has a daughter, falling in love, strangers to lovers, library smut, oral (female receiving) lots and lots of fluff

word count: 3.9k

from the beginning <3

Everyone at work was very understanding. Almost all of them saw it coming, he was taking more sick days than normal and he wasn’t putting up a fight anymore when the 30 days was required to take rolled around. They were profilers after all.

He arrives on Thursday morning to pack his desk. The team is finally home and all together to wish him well on his future journey, giving him hugs and kisses as they each visited his desk.

They had already replaced him, Will LaMontagne was giving the FBI a shot, finally. Spending more time with JJ, the kids were old enough now to accept both of them working. And Kate Callahan was back, now that her baby wasn’t a baby anymore either.

Even Penelope and Derek showed up, bringing a cake that said ‘happy retirement’ written across the frosting. They were happy for him, they shared the same excitement he had. There was a thrill in his eyes again as they asked him about his plans.

“Tell us about this Y/N you met,” Emily cut into the laughter to get to the serious topics.

“I’ve been going to the park a lot recently and I found this little reading nook by a pond. She was there with her daughter and they invited me over to their picnic,” he realized how fake it all sounded as he continued to speak. “Her daughter is wonderful and super smart, I took them to the Smithsonian on Sunday and I’m completely smitten.”

Everyone swooned, happy to see him finally finding someone that makes him gush like this. It had been a very, very long time since Spencer has told any of them about a person, let alone someone he was in love with.

“She is wonderful,” Penelope added, “she makes the best tea and she lives in a literal Disney movie.”

Spencer laughed, “yeah she does. They probably read more books than I have, they make so many references all the time and they even dress up for what they’re reading, it’s amazing.”

They were amazed by how giddy he was, unable to stop smiling at him, “here we dressed up for the museum, I was milo from Atlantis and she was the old man in Tarzan,” he pulled his phone from his pocket to show them the photo.

It was his background now, Y/N sent it to him when he finally went back to his place Monday night, knowing he’d miss them. Not wanting him to be alone.

He was beyond proud to show them the photo, beaming from ear to ear as they all complimented his attire.

“She looks like you,” Kate added, “must be the genius gene,” she added, making awkward eye contact with JJ as they both clocked it.

“She’s exactly like me, that’s why Y/N likes having me around, it’s good for Amoreena to feel normal with the way our brains work,” he spoke about her like she was his own. Forever grateful to have her in his life.

“So when are you proposing?” Matt teased him. Knowing the feeling of love like this all too well with his perfect wife and a handful of children.

“I’m not trying to jinx anything,” Spencer admitted. “I actually have a job interview at the Library she works at later, so I’ll be around here a lot more.”

“He’ll be moved in by the end of the month,” Tara smiled, proud of him and the courage it takes to follow your heart.

“I’m going to miss you guys,” he presses his lips together softly, nodding as he avoids eye contact with them. “But you can call me whenever you need my brain, I guess.”

Hugs were exchanged as Spencer had to leave, Derek even offered to drive him back to his apartment to help with 4 boxes of books from his desk, and to have a bit of a talk like they always do.

“It’s surprisingly easy to be a dad, all you have to do is be there and love them,” Derek shared a tidbit of advice

“She told me she doesn’t mind me being like Amoreena’s dad, but I don’t think I can yet. I want her to decide when she wants me in that role.”

Spencer explains his feelings the easiest to Derek. Like he was already in his mind and knew the thoughts before he said them, Derek was never mad or disappointed in him. He loved him fully, and Spencer loved him right back.

“Like when you chose Gideon?”

Spencer can only nod, it’s still too sad to think about him being gone. “You know what it’s like, you love your father but there are other people in your life who fit the role better.”

“Yeah,” Derek agreed. “You’re going to be great, regardless of the name she uses when she thinks of you.”

“Thank you,” Spencer smiled as they pulled up to his apartment, “you should bring Hank to meet the animals this weekend sometime.”

“He’d love that,” Derek smiled back at him, patting his shoulder lightly. “I’m really proud of you.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to do it if you didn’t first,” he admits. “You’re a strong man who decided to put his happiness first, I can be too.”

“You sure as hell can,” Derek wrapped him up in one last hug before sending him off to live that best life he was talking about.

The only person who didn’t know yet was his mother. He wasn’t sure how to tell her, he knew she’d be proud of him regardless but that anxiety of disappointing her never went away even now that he was 40.

“Spencer!”

“Hey mom,” he smiled when she picked up. “How are you?”

“I’m fantastic, Marge and I are going on a walk later to see some ducks that were born, I really love it here Spencer,” he could hear it in her voice. She was much more joyful when she was surrounded by friends.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“you sound happy, what’s going on?”

She was his mother, after all, she could know exactly how he’s feeling from just hearing him breathe or being in the same room as him. It was like a superpower, she always knew what was going on.

“I met someone,” he can’t help but smile. “And I quit the FBI to have a family.”

“You’re kidding?” He couldn’t read her tone, not sure if she was surprised or disappointed.

“Her name is Y/N, she has a 7-year-old daughter named Amoreena who is exactly like how I was as a child, you’d really like them,” he explains and he can hear his mother's smile from his end of the phone.

“I would love to meet them, you can bring them to visiting hours next Tuesday?” Diana offered, genuinely happy for him in a way that made his heart burst.

“I’ll see if they’re free and I’ll let you know.”

“I love you, Spencer,” she reminded him. “It’s nice to hear you’re happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

“I love you too, thank you, mom, for everything.”

She hangs up before they can get too emotional, leaving Spencer inside his sad little apartment all by himself. Taking the opportunity to pack his overnight bag for Y/N and pick out some books from his collection to show Amoreena.

There’s an envelope sticking out of one of his books that manages to catch his attention, taking it out to see his name written on it in Gideon’s handwriting. He almost forgot he had this, how important the words were.

Spencer,

I knew it would be you who came to the cabin to check on me. I’m sorry the explanation couldn’t be better, Spencer. I’m sorry it doesn’t make more sense, but I’ve already told you. I just don’t understand any of it anymore.

I guess I’m just looking for it again, for the belief I had in college, the belief I had when I first met Sara and it all seemed so right.

The belief in happy endings. When you find that, never let it go, Spencer.

Don’t let this job do to you what it did to me, get out and get a life when you can. I have faith in you, till I see you again, take care, son.

Gideon

He walked over to the window then, seeing a beautiful red and brown bird perched on his fire escape. He couldn’t help but smile, “I found my Sara, thank you,” he whispers to the bird who turns its head to the side before flying off.

Gideon always did have the best timing and the best advice.

—

“Y/N, your one o’clock is here to see you,” the receptionist at the Library said over the phone, hanging up and returning her attention to Spencer, “she’ll be with you in a moment.”

“Doctor Reid,” he hears her voice as she rounds the corner, appearing behind a stack of books in the most beautiful blue dress he’s ever seen. “Lovely to see you again.”

“You too,” he smiles.

“Right this way,” she can’t help but smile as she escorts him to her office.

“I don’t normally consider people who don’t send in a resume, but I have a feeling you’re going to be good at this,” she teased him as he sat at her desk.

“Allison is going on maternity leave in a few weeks, so you won’t start until she has the baby. If you’re serious about wanting this position, it’s only Monday through Thursday, 9 to 2:30.”

“You’re not going to ask me anything?”

“I don’t know if you know this, but the literary historian and I get to spend a lot of time together, I’d rather hire someone I know I already like,” she smiled again. “And it would be nice to see you every day without a 7-year-old taking all your attention away from me.”

“You just want to live out the fantasy of kissing someone in the encyclopedia section, don’t you?” He teased her right back, making her blush. “I knew it.”

“Sue me!” She laughed, and he finally understood what tinker bell meant when she said farries are born from the purest laughter.

He was in love with her right then and there, he was sure of it.

It had been under a week and yet as he stared at her, hearing her wonderful laughter and seeing her beautiful smile, knowing she wanted to spend time with him, that she genuinely liked him and none of this was one-sided, it made him fall harder than he thought he could.

“Come on then,” he stands abruptly, taking her hand and pulling her out the door.

She tries to giggle quietly as she follows him all the way back to the quietest section of the library. Most of the books on the shelves didn’t even have bar codes because they haven’t been checked out since the 60’s, no one needs them but they can’t seem to part with them.

She backs up against the shelf and pulls him into her space, he drops her hands and holds her face instead, looking at her beautiful eyes as they sparkled in the fluorescent lighting.

“I was expecting this to be hungrier than this when I imagined it all for all these years,” she whispers, biting her lip to force her smile back.

“You’re just so fucking beautiful,” is all he can say, brushing her cheeks with his thumbs lightly a few times before finally placing his lips against hers, ever so gently.

Her hands stretched around his back, pulling him in closer till their bodies are pressed together and then she’s kissing him deeper. Breathing in through her nose like she’s trying to keep him there forever, her fingernails dig into his shirt and he knows she wants more.

He slid his thigh between hers, opening his mouth to give her all the access she wanted and letting her take control of the speed. She wasn’t kidding when she said she expected it to be hungrier. She was kissing him like it was the first time she has had contact with another human being in years, and it just might have been. She said she was single for a while before Amoreena, probably the whole time since as well.

“Spencer,” she took a moment to gasp for air, breathing against his lips as he did the same. “Can we?”

He kisses along her jaw then, moving towards her ear to whisper, “do what? Use your words.”

“Anything, just touch me please, god it’s been 12 years,” she begged as quietly as possible, tugging at his hair as he nibbled on her earlobe.

He kissed down her neck making his way towards her chest. Holding her by the hips now, she arched her back into the shelf as he kissed all the way to where her dress started to cover her breasts but he didn’t stop. Kissing over her clothes as he dropped down to his knees in front of her.

He undid his tie, slipping it off his neck and handing it to her, “in case you need to scream into something.”

She held it in her hand for a second, registering what he just said and moaning softly in response as she held it closer to her lips, he took that as a yes and slipped under her dress.

She was wearing just a pair of regular cut pink underwear, not expecting this in the slightest when she got ready this morning. He kissed her over top of the fabric, spreading her legs so that he could kiss the insides of her thighs as she tried to desperately grind into his face. grazing his teeth against her skin as she shivers, thighs shaking in anticipation.

He kisses right where her clit should be under the fabric, knowing he’s correct when she whimpers around the tie he handed her. It's muffled and adorable as he kisses her again and again, knowing she wants more and teasing her gently.

He pulls her panties to the side, mesmerized by how perfect she is for only a second before returning to the task at hand. Being the first person to pleasure her in years, wanting her to have the best time possible.

With one hand he holds her panties back, using his other to slowly swipe a single finger through her folds to see just how wet she was. Smirking against her thigh as he’s able to slip right in.

“Please,” he hears her whisper, lifting the dress up so she could look at what he’s doing.

“Such a good girl for me,” he pressed the words against her skin.

He spreads her legs even further, resting one of them on his shoulder as he dives in, sucking her clit into his mouth abruptly as he pumps his single finger in and out. She jerks her hips at the sudden contact, stuffing the tie in her mouth and biting down as she whimpers.

He knows what he’s doing, where all the pleasure spots are and what feels the best on most women. Searching around and trying different tongue movements, memorizing the sounds she makes and attempting to hear them again and again, knowing it means she’s enjoying herself.

That’s all he wanted, to please her. Not even realizing how hard he was as he continues to eat her out furiously in the back corner of the DC Public Library. He forgets they’re even in public entirely as he moans against her clit, sending shockwaves through her body.

She’s quaking then, holding onto the top of his head with one hand as the other grips a shelf. She’s panting into the material of the tie, the hot breath making its way through the fabric and stopping the whorish moans he knew she’d make. It had been too long since someone treated her right.

He added a second finger then, wanting to push her over the edge as he curled them, finding her g spot and caressing it with every thrust of his fingers. She clenched around him then, a high-pitched noise left her mouth as she finished around him.

He couldn’t help but smirk, re-moving his fingers and cleaning them off in his mouth. Releasing them with a pop before dragging his tongue along her one last time. Gathering up everything she released and placing her panties back over her nicely.

He kissed over her underwear one last time before fixing her dress and standing up, “did I manage to fulfill the dream?”

She couldn’t help but laugh, looking like she was coming down from a real high, not just an orgasm. She pulled him in close and held onto him for dear life as she continued to catch her breath, and then her hand started to wander.

“Nope,” Spencer whispered, moving her hand away from his aching cock. “As much as I want to, I’d rather fuck you at home.”

“Home huh?” She teased him, kissing his cheek softly as she pulled back.

"I love you," he whispers against her ear, without a fear in the world that she didn't feel the same way.

"I love you too, Spencer."

They couldn’t stop smiling at each other, it felt surreal to be this happy. He kissed her a few more times, staying hidden in the back corner until the blood in his body let this dick and went back to where it was supposed to be.

She just held him in her arms, leaning back against the shelves as they kissed softly, running her hands through his hair gently, over and over. She whispered a few thank you’s to him, letting him know it was everything she waited for.

It was truly perfect.

—

Amoreena was so happy to see him back at the farm when she got off the bus, she missed him during the few days he wasn’t there.

She asked him to help with her homework, her teacher assigning them an “all about me” project to showcase their growth at the end of the year ceremony. It was almost June, she only had a few weeks left before she was off for the summer and free to show him around the whole kingdom.

Y/N brought out a box of craft supplies and a collection of photos. Showing Spencer every single moment of her and Amoreena’s life.

From her first sonogram to the first bump photo, she had and every maternity shot on the farm you could think of, to the day she was born, her first bath, first steps, chocolate cake shoved on her nose at her first birthday, everything. He felt like he watched her grow up in the blink of an eye, staring at all the photos while Y/N and Amoreena made a plan for her project.

She did look a lot like him, in some instances, she even looked like his mom. There was a look Diana would get when she was intrigued with something, or when she was trying to figure something out. She’d bite her tongue and tilt her head, and it was exactly what Amoreena did.

He never thought he’d see a child-like himself this early, he always expected someone to contact him at 18 and surprise him like Rossi. He really never, ever thought he'd have a child in his life who he was blessed with watching grow up. He never believed someone would have a kid so much like him and allow him to see the world through their eyes. He was amazed by how lucky he got, to be brought into an already happy family that wanted him, they didn’t just need him.

There was no need for a father in Amoreena’s life, she was happily living her life with her grandparents and her mother, explaining to him that she had a bunch of aunts and uncles, plus 15 cousins and they all lived close too. Her life was full of people to love her, and yet she wanted Spencer to love her too.

“Can I put the photo of us at the museum on here too?” She asked Y/N, looking at Spencer to see if he was okay with it too. “I already told my friends that you’re my dad.”

He felt like he couldn’t breathe, he didn’t want to cry in front of her so instead he just stopped all movement inside of his body and held it in. Looking at Y/N who was also a little emotional as Amoreena went back to looking through the photos.

Amoreena didn’t even notice how their expressions changed, she didn’t understand the weight of the words as she said them. She was oblivious to the hole in Spencer’s heart that she was filling with glitter glue, making him feel like he was whole again.

“Yeah,” he finally managed to speak. “I’d love to be on your project.”

“I know you said we don’t need dads but I kinda want one,” Amoreena’s soft expression made his heart melt even more. He was putty in her hands, willing to be whatever she wanted from him as long as he could.

“When did you say that?” Y/N asked softly, confused as to where she was when they had a conversation.

“The other morning at breakfast, um, my father left when I was little. It was just me and my wonderful mother until I was 21, then I found someone to call Dad. His name was Jason Gideon, he was my mentor and he made he feel like I was smart and loved,” he smiled, letting her know he genuinely meant it. “There’s a big difference between being a father and being someone's dad.”

“What’s that?” Amoreena’s innocent mind running wild as she tried to figure out his meaning.

“Anyone can be a father when two adults make a baby,” he said softly, making eye contact with Y/N as she blushed. Knowing where he was going with this. “But dads are special, they’re the people who are supposed to make you feel safe and loved. A person who you can turn to for advice and know he’ll love you no matter what you have to say. Dad’s are supposed to love you forever, regardless of what happens in life. Just like your mom does already.”

Amoreena leaned into his chest, pressing her head against him softly. He wrapped his arms around her gently, giving her the tiniest hug he’s ever given. “I pick you then, you’re the best guy I know and I think that means you’d be a good dad.”

Y/N silently cried, getting up from the table and walking into the kitchen so Amoreena wouldn’t see her sob. Spencer tried to widen his eyes so the tears he was generating would slip back into his tear ducts. Not wanting to cry as she held him.

“I’d love to be your dad,” he whispered, kissing her head softly as she held him tighter. “But first I’ve gotta check on your mom,” he whispered into her hair. Watching her pull away and look for where she was.

“Okay,” Amoreena shrugged, returning to her project as he wandered into the kitchen.

She was leaning against the counter when he walked in, her dress pulled up over her face as she cried into the material. Wiping her face as Spencer walked in and looking at him with the happiest smile.

She was laughing into her tears then, shaking her head as she sobbed, “why am I crying?”

He laughed then too, pulling her into a hug and spinning her around gently as she kept laughing. Her face buried into his neck as she smiled, he set her down gently so he could pull her into a kiss.

Her cheeks were all wet as he held her face, peppering kisses to her lips as they both tried to stop smiling.

“I’m going to miss hearing her call you Spencer,” Y/N whispered.

“Me too,” he giggled again. “But dad does have a good ring to it.”

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