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#journaling or not bc I feel like I have nothing to say I feel so empty but I also feel like my brain won’t shut up and it’s going fast
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I think a really underrated character duo in gravity falls is Dipper and Stan. Like one, I think they are way more similar than people give them credit for. Like Dipper is definitely the one who feels like the ‘inferior’ twin (internally on his part), something reflected in Stan. Also Dipper is generally pretty cunning and willing to throw punches in a Stan-way, you can see Stan rubbing off on him as the show progresses. Dipper in the Stan costume, and that one scene where Stan and Dipper both cross their fingers at the same time for the same promise, both live in my head rent free. In my heart of hearts I think Dipper picks up a bit of Stans con-man tricks in the future (and Mabel goes on some bonding missions w/ Ford, but this post isn’t abt them). Also I just want to say I bet Dipper reminded Stan of a young Ford and that informed some of their early dynamic. Anyway bye just needed this brainworm out
#gravity falls#dipper pines#Stan pines#stanley pines#That one scene in Dreascapers where Stan talks abt how he sees himself in Dipper and that’s why he’s hard on him?#yeah#look the twins can obviously be put into their easy Mabel-Stan Dipper-Ford parallels#BUT I think it’s interesting to do it teh other way too#because Mabel and Ford are the weird twins of their pairs!!! they’re the outcasts who get picked on for being strange!#Also while I don’t think Mabel is Selfish (I love Mabel) she can be a little self-centered which is a good parallel to Ford who#is also kinda self centered#again I say this with love- Mabel did nothing wrong#similarly- Dipper can be mapped to the ‘Screw up twin’ (in his mind) the way Stan can#Dipper is a nerd but he’s not a super-genius like Ford was- so next to mabel he feels inferior#(I feel like he said something like this somewhere? the journal?)#anyway Stan is the same way#Also the way Dipper would fuck anyone up for hurting his family- even going as far to THREATEN bill in BOB#Tbf mabel does this too but it’s way less serious#anyway have this#gravity falls dipper#gravity falls stanley#wait I’m not over this actually#Mabel getting tricked by Bill pretending to be someone she trusted can be a Ford paralell actually#you know how bill sees himself in Ford despite the fact he’s WAYYY more like Stan??? that but mabel the opposite way. do you see the vision?#also the fact the two pines bill hates are Dipper and Stan. I win again#THE BILL-MABEL-FORD PARALELLE BUBBLE MIGHT NEED ITS OWN POST BC I HAVE THOUGHTS
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g0thsoojin · 2 months
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#i know theyre just stupid entitled and arrogant assholes#who think they know me and anything abt my life but#i still get so angry bc ppl constantly judge me for everything#which is why i developed avpd in the first place lmao#but how can they say that im not even trying#i do. i exercise i journal i meditate. i beg for therapy (its almost been a year and still nothing lol)#i try. but avpd esp untreated avpd is actually a disability#ppl dont understand but avpd makes u passive and unable to do anything#even if my fav artist releases an album i procrastinate listening to it for weeks sometimes#ppl dont get avpd at all#i am a prisoner in my own mind and there is NOTHING i can do#i am in severe mental agony and pain bc of it#im scared bc im useless and worthless and cant take care of myself#but my mom's leaving me and im terrified of ending up homeless bc im not a survivor#im a loser pos nothing who is incapable of doing anything by myself#plus like yeah... my mom cant do any of this anymore and is close to breaking down#so im scared she'll just move and let me become homeless bc she feels so desperate and suffocated (not just by me)#i HAVE to get my shit together#i HAVE to do my assignments and pass my classes#and apply for university and student housing#and i HAVE to do this this year#it is so so so soon and im freaking out#im 25 and dont know how to be an adult#but im gonna be forced into that soon or i'll be homeless so im terrified#god... i hate everyone and i hate society bc in this world#you are all on your own#there is NO compassion or empathy or help#you gotta make it on your own otherwise you will die#and making it on your own with any kind of mental or physical disability or disorder or illness is so so so much harder#and ppl dont see or acknowledge that they just beat u down for not being 'strong'
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tomatoluvr69 · 3 months
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#Spotify#music for when you’re driving to ace hardware to buy mousetraps so you can kick out that mouse like Nick Cave says#and when you get there you give him your best friend’s phone number bc you unfortunately have it memorized and he goes to ace hardware all#the time for work#and the guy on the register squints at you and confirms the very male name on the screen#and you resist the urge to squeak out an excuse and just confirm#and then you stop by aldi on the way back and buy two tubs of Greek yogurt and two bottles of synergy kombucha#bc even though you brew your own and actually have way more than you could possibly handle rn bc it’s so hot in your house#you are a sucker for limited edition flavors and it will cause you to spend $8 on kombucha#so you buy pomelo lemonade and cherry coconut lemongrass#which is the summer flavor named unity or something#and you usually get one every year#but you still feel ridiculous walking out of aldi with two tubs of yogurt and two bottles of kombucha and nothing else even though no one#you know sees you even though west ********* is crawling with acquaintances#and then you get back in your car and you’re proud of the rare burst of executive function which allowed you to finally put the new battery#in your car keys even though you stole the battery from target like two months ago you just couldn’t figure out how to open the damn thing#and the convenience is novel and you think wow maybe I should injure my ribcage more often if it’s forcing me to take care of all these#tiny tasks like buying mousetraps and replacing your key battery and cooking figs in honey et cetera#and you drive down the hill and see low clouds snagging in the blue ridge mountains and feel alright for a moment#and go to the scratch and dent where you buy butter and a couple 33¢ seltzers and a diet ginger ale as a lil treat#and when you get back home you drop it on the gravel road and the ginger ale begins to leak out so you put your mouth to it even though the#thought of what nonsense is on the outside of the can from the manufacturing and shipping process lingers#and by the time you get to the kitchen and pour it over ice in a mason jar it’s fairly flat from the burst of bubbles when you poured it#awkwardly with one hand#and you drink what remains on the porch where it’s a post-rain subdued sky sort of dusk#and you think about how much it’s gonna hurt to leave and how you have no other option because of how entwined you’ve become with someone#who is the entire city and the entire vast forest and possibly the entire ecological region#and then you’re still hungry so you eat some meal prepped overnight oats that were for tomorrow morning. the end#journal
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cherrygarden · 3 months
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i don't know about you but i. want to kms
#oversharing incoming!!#i already wrote on my journal and it did nothing so sorry but here i go#but i find it so funny (read: devastating) how my psychiatrist has spent YEARS trying to diagnose me as bipolar and i was just like#actually no 🙄#my depression is just cyclical and when it's bad i dont recognise myself and nothing i can do seems to stop it but that's just how life is#like i kept going back every 3 months like ''life is SO good again!!'' and then ''life fucking sucks''#and it kept going ang going and going#until last week she had to be like. girl i'm SO serious just accept it#it just sucks that my hypomania is just what ppl normally do#i'm just like ''wow i have the energy to put work into my relatinoships and clean my room and make my bedand maintain a self care routine!'#that's NOT my normal#like my average isn't sad but it definitely is lazy and isolating and a little selfish#or is it my normal??????#who am i. genuinely#no one told me when i started meds at 15 that it would mess with my sense of self#i wouldve tried to be prepared lmao#no and what sucks is that i'm participing in a conversatorio??? however you say that in english#abt academic exchange experiences on friday and i feel like shit now and there was a period of time there that i felt like shit then#and its gonna be so so so hard to be postiive#like if i'm completely honest i only didn't **** ****** bc of substance abuse and ***#also thinking abt my psychologist who told me ''i can't help you because i just don't think you want to get better'' and dismissed me#which caused a spiral then and multiple spirals since#like no actually. i was just bipolar and a teenager and misdiagnosed you piece of shit ''professional''
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waywardsalt · 6 months
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Hi! I hope you’re doing good in life.
What do you think of a phantom hourglass remake? Tbh I don’t know how they could remake it without basically remaking it from the ground-up. It would probably play more like windwaker, which I see as a both a good and bad thing. On the one hand, if it was more like windwaker a lot more people would probably play and it would be more popular since I know the touch controls were a turn off for most people for both Spirit Tracks and Phantom hourglass. But on the other hand, remaking it to be more like windwaker would make the game lose some of it’s previous identity. Like, Phantom hourglass was so unique because of the touch controls and the puzzles you can make and solve by having two screens and touch controls. And it was so nifty and handy to be able to write notes on your map. Idk, I still would like it to be remade in general even if it ends up a basically different game, but I wouldn’t change the story or the characters, especially Linebeck. The only other change I would make is the music. Phantom hourglass had rather weak themes, mainly because they re-used the same theme for the islands and the dungeons. The only songs that were really good were the few orginal tracks made for the game, so Linebeck’s theme, Oshus’s theme, both Bellum boss battle themes and the and that music that plays when you first follow the Ghost Ship. But what would you want out of a phantom hourglass remake?
Hey, I’m doing good, and I hope you are too!
I’ve thought a bit about a possible Phantom Hourglass remake, but not too much recently. I don’t really know if I’d want one, since you’d lose a lot of what really makes it special, and you can still play it through other means. I’m personally fond of the graphics and the music- yes, even the dungeon theme has grown on me- so I don’t really want a remake too badly, especially since I fear any additions/changes they might make with story or characters in a remake. The touch controls make it, and playing it on pc recreates that feeling decently well, but I don't think it'll be just the same if you had to control it with joysticks or anything.
Not to mention, there's so much emphasis on having the two screens, too, not just for map stuff, but almost every single boss had a mechanic related to the top screen! I have no fucking clue how you'd replicate that very well on something like the switch without just fucking with the mechanics altogether.
I would kill to hear some of Phantom Hourglasses tracks be orchestrated or otherwise rearranged in a higher quality. I wouldn't want any of the more notable themes altered in any way, no adding or removing of melodies and only very very small changes to the instrumentation, but I think it'd be neat to see what could be done with dungeon themes. I think a while back I had a fleeting desire to write some short tracks for each dungeon, with some ideas like mostly using instruments heard in Bellum's themes for the dungeons while each individual one gets a leading instrument unique to and reflective of the dungeon, while the Ghost Ship maybe gets a song that's a bit of a expanded version of the fog theme, while the Temple of the Ocean King could have slightly different themes the further in you got, starting with instruments more common to Oshus's theme or the great sea theme, while the further in you got the more instruments from Bellum's theme would be heard, plus some harpsichord thrown in for the hell of it.
Leave the original dungeon theme for stuff like the minor pyramids and some larger cave areas, idk. It's grown on me.
I think the only story rearranging I'd want is mayyyyybe unfridging Tetra? You could very easily shuffle some things around with her and just not damsel her for the whole game and honestly it'd still go off perfectly without a hitch. But you'd still have to deal with the World of the Ocean King being a whole other world, so either bring her and her crew in and have them as wandering ship npcs (the better idea) or just leave them out (not a good idea) but either way it's better than what they actually did. I just don't think I'd want it to switch to Tetra being a major reoccurring character tbh, the main character dynamics in PH are good as they are.
I think I like Phantom Hourglass too much as it is to really want a remake at all. I'd rather we get something like an anime adaptation. That's what I think about more. Give me animated Phantom Hourglass with some fun takes on the dungeons and fights and some fun slice of life stuff with the group between the islands what I want is a Phantom Hourglass anime
#asks#zeldanamikaze#salty talks#loz#legend of zelda#phantom hourglass#kinda just boils down to like. i kinda want it to remain untouched with nothing added or removed if that makes sense#different themes for the dungeons would be rlly cool. harpsichord for deeper ocean king temple floors bc its where you meet linebeck#also vague foreshadowing? as an aside how many other loz songs have harpsichord in it im very curious to know#also. i say i dont mind the dungeon theme while also not really minding my tinnitus so also take that in mind maybe. brain go brrrrrr#i think adding tetra in to the main crew of ph would kinda be a bit much and also maybe not add very much. fyi i have not played ww#but i feel like it'd almost be adding another ciela cuz shed support link and be more barbed and bold with a side of less morally upstandin#so i dont really think she'd being much new to the ph crew table and i wouldnt want her there in a remake cuz they might pull the#goddess blood card and i really really like how ph has fuck all to do with hyrule or any of that nonsense#sorry this took so long btw. i dont think much abt a ph remake so i dont have a lot of notes#additions? idk add more rooms to linebecks ship. let us poke around in a few areas. maybe potion storage. give link a room#let us poke around in linebeck's room when possible. put smth fun in there. pull a wilds era and give him a journal for us to check out#what they did with tetra kills me (but not too much since i dont rlly have thoughts on tetra) bc you could just remove her entirely#and the story would still work really well anyways. holy character fridging batman#idfk. give us a silly loz dating game. make linebeck an option. thats what i wanna see
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lesenbyan · 5 months
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There are few things worse, I think, than reading a call to action memoir that is so close to right but really should have been shelved for at least 5yrs before going to print so the author has time to learn enough to see all the false equivalencies that really hinder the point
#personal;#yeah fatphobia is bad but dont you dare act like people aren't asking disabled people to medically alter themselves every day???#you compare bariatric and gender affirming surgeries in such a way that makes the latter sound easy to get??#and in fact don't at ALL go into the struggles for transition care except for a nod at FL while comparing us (trans people)#to fat people like our lives are Much Easier instead of /oppressed by the same white colonial structures that enforce fatphobia/#but go off i guess#i was giving a lot of leeway when i was just side eyeing the comparisons with racism bc i'm not fat and i've not experienced enough racism#to say either way on those#but the MOMENT she started using trans and disabled comparisons i about lost it#and also randomly started calling it antisemitic (sure as much as it's violnt to all poc) in the last chapter with nothing supporting it#like you can tell it was written over the course of the last like 2 maybe 3 years without enough space to breathe#i have listened to a book on writing memoir so often i've got some of it all but memorized#and i agree that if it's more recent than a decade you're probably too close to be writing it#and this author's writing mostly about during pandemic times. this is more a journal and call to action than memoir#but its not polished enough to be a proper call to action bc there's not much it gives you to do other than 'stop dieting & dare to be fat'#which isn't an effective call to action when only those most harmed by fatphobia can act on it you know???#lots of complaints#3/10#edit: reiterting that i'm not saying it'#*it's not anti-semitic; just that a good published work of this kind doesn't make last second claims and certainly not ones#they haven't already explicitly supported in the text#i feel the need to clarify with the very very vocal rise of anti semitism esp in the left#like yes there are anti-Semitic ties. she didn't name them. just said 'they exist lol' and this went to print#great study in poor research slipping onto shelves bc topic matter is relevant
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nexus-nebulae · 2 years
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hmm
#weird thing ive noticed#so when i was Really Severely Depressed in high school#i used an app called daylio to journal my emotions n shit#and my most common entry was 'neutral'#which i always defined as ':/'#but then later when i was more recovered i realised that that 'neutral' was actually Bad#idk how else to describe it other than- feeling nothing or less than nothing or simply an absence of happiness#i just thought 'well i dont feel Good™ so clearly this is neutral'#when really my 'neutral' should really be Okay instead of Meh :/#took me a long time to say 'i feel okay'#like genuinely that was a massive milestone was saying 'i feel *okay*'#not 'i feel happy' or 'i feel good' but just. okay#turns out 'okay' is the neutral for most people. not :/#so now whenever i get days where i'm :/#i'm able to say 'i feel Bad' without even having to think hard#(honestly I say a lot of 'i feel' phrases a LOT. it's like.. the only way for me to process shit?)#(like- 'i'm tired' or 'i'm hungry'- i'll say them out loud without even physically noticing the feeling)#(and my brain goes 'oh yeah! we are! we should fix that' that's how i exist)#but i've noticed i've been saying 'i don't feel good' way more frequently lately#probably the seasonal depression idk#idk if i actually have acutal seasonal depression tbh coz my depression was way more general and not time-based#but i've been calling it seasonal depression coz it's just#mounting anxiety and dread bc i know winter is Bad For My Health#idk.#you know. i was supposed to be set up with a therapist back in august.#fuckers never called me back.#sucks too coz that counseling center actually had a booth at Pride when i went so i was really excited to go there :/
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ghosty1111 · 2 years
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mental health vent undercut teehee *anime head bonk* ^ڡ^
im so worried that the company i interviewed at isnt gonna get back to me. ive been applying to jobs for almost 3 years now and ive only gotten one other interview before this(that i got rejected from). the interviewer mixed up on telling me what job i was being interviewed for(i applied to 2 at the company) and didnt tell me the real one until the end of the interview. so i fear i messed it up by talking about it in the context of a different job. i emailed them after this about it and its almost been a week(the interviewer said theyd get back to me in a couple days).
the other problem im having is ive been avoiding replying to emails for the """job""" i technically have as an assistant art teacher for bday parties for some art company bc ive been so convinced i wont do well at the job due to my mental health and i shouldnt do it. i have one already booked for the 6th so i have no choice, the emails were for other future work. im embarrassed that i cant just get myself to do something even this small, but also my brain has become All Or Nothing levels of stubborn in regard to work(either i get a fulltime wellpaying job that can allow me to move out or it isnt worth it). even tho this job would be good for SOME money, my brain keeps trying to convince me that im too fatigued and suicidal and its not worth it at this point. that i deserve better.
im tired of being stubborn and having high expectations for life but i cant help it if i want something worthwhile after spending every single day feeling like shit and hating being alive. they all said this feeling would eventually go away if i continued to work on fixing it. but it hasnt. everyone makes fun of this 'negative teenage view' of life, but why would i want to make something that makes me feel worse? its not as easy as just 'changing your views and faking it' trust me ive tried so many times. and i burnout so fast every time. my body isnt meant to live like that and i hate it.
my mom said that i shouldnt get a fulltime job bc what if i cant handle it, and i said that i would rather try an option that would potentially change my life and find out for sure that im not meant for being alive, rather than wasting my energy on something that changes nothing. i hate my suicidal mentality.
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#vent#'but u live w ur mom in a room w so much stuff and computers and video games and everything u could ever need🙄'#it takes so much of my energy just to play mobile games. i have to force myself to play MOBILE GAMES in order to actually 'do' something.#and often thatll only last a week or so before i burnout. from mobile games. then im back to doing nothing till i can get back into it.#ive been trying to get myself to use my laptop again lately(just so i can be in a sitting position out of bed)#and even then its like twice a week#and i dont play games or do anything. not even reading anymore.#recently i made a goal to SORT BOOKMARKS and even then its a challenge#i take vitamins i eat healthy i even go for walks and get fresh air(habit ive had for years now that i dont associate with productivity)#(mostly bc its only at night and i go sit in a park and daydream for hours)#the only semi productive thing i do daily is journal(bc i have no other way to deal with my emotions and need to catalog everything)#i cant go simply try to get a job at my moms work anymore bc her office is too hot for my autistic ass#(same thing happened near the end of her last job and she got annoyed that i was leaving early so often)#i miss being able to draw i miss being able to read i miss being able to play video games i miss being able to feel hopeful for my future#if i could draw and write i'd be able to finish my cool amazing pitches and go pitch them and the companies would love me and give me money#(delusional)#(i can say that in a funny way bc i actually have delusions)
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milo-is-rambling · 8 months
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Therapy with a therapist who is actually good at their job top ten best and hardest experiences
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etherealkissed88 · 5 months
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how i manifest when i feel anxious •°. *࿐
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i decide i have what i want…
when i feel anxiety -> i let it pass while knowing its only a human reaction
◦ since i am beyond just a human (i am limitless imagination/self), i know any anxiety is below me and it has nothing to do with my limitless self. i have exactly what i decided i have, regardless of any anxiety.
know anxiety usually comes from a fear of failure
◦ so, i cannot limit myself based on what i see or what i negatively assume my future will look like bc i am always beyond the 3d, no matter what feelings/anxiety my human self experiences.
◦ i become indifferent/i dont care about what i see or what i assume i will see because i know everything comes together in the 3d once i change self/know its done. fact: everything always comes together and works out in the end. being indifferent to the 3d = being indifferent to emotions, anxiety and everything that doesnt serve you.
dont fight it, dont avoid it, tackle it head on
◦ acknowledge you are experiencing anxiety bc you are. yes it can feel like shit but it doesnt have to affect who you are being (whatever version of self you are embodying). again, i can choose to be indifferent to this anxiety. you dont have to be scared of the anxiety. it is a natural human response. cry if you need to, let it all out. dont try to suppress it bc that will only come to bite you back in the ass, believe me.
◦ take care of your mental health in whatever ways necessary. when i used to experience anxiety, i used to take walks in the park, clear my head, meditate, express myself and my emotions through art and journaling, etc. remember nothing you do (or feel) in the 3d has to affect who you are being/your state.
"how can i still have anxiety yet still be a desired version of me?"
anxiety has no affect on anything unless you allow it to change your identity. you are the one with power, the anxiety is only an experience, similar to breathing in oxygen and using our sense of touch; its all neutral. when you start surrendering to the anxiety, you are creating and accepting negative stories that you create based on the feeling of anxiety. allowing that anxious feeling to change your state/identity is surrendering to something you view as more "powerful" than you. stop transforming that anxiety into a state that you embody based on the false, negative stories u imagine.
remember a 3d experience or anxious feelings doesnt have to influence who you are being. an example: a model who knows (fulfilled) that she is graceful and beautiful can have anxiety about doing her catwalk. the anxiety is normal, she can experience the symptoms of anxiety (shortness of breath, dry mouth, shaking) but her core identity/state is still a graceful model. the anxiety is only a temporary feeling. usually when we experience these feelings, they occupy all of our attention in that moment which is why it seems so scary but in reality, its not that big a deal. know that anxiety is just a feeling. you are safe. you can still experience shitty feelings while knowing you are a bad bitch!
you dont always identify with everything you experience. for example, a lot of people experience good things and still identify as people who are unworthy of good things. so its really up to you to choose what to identify with.
i know my only job is knowing its done
◦ if i just decided its done, as the operant power, as i say goes, therefore its done. so my job is done. anxiety is part of the 3d, not my limitless self, imagination. so i can be indifferent and experience it without identifying with it, the same way people manifest what they desire while experiencing their shitty circumstances daily (because they do not identify with those shitty experiences).
◦ ive heard/experienced situations where we know its done yet we cried and felt like shit, and what we wanted still manifested into the 3d. bc anxiety is only a feeling. do not allow your feelings to take hold of your state, but if it does, its never the end of the world... just get back in the state. 3d shit/anxiety doesnt have to intervene with who you are being/what you identify with.
kisses, jani ☆
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
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Have some more language brainrot for your brainrot
Writer reader getting kind of insecure that even if they write something nobody will understand it, so when Al haithem askes you if he can keep a draft or two just for analyzing, there's hesitant agreement but ultimately you tell him to please burn the documents once he's done. They're too awkward to look at now...
Only he doesn't burn them, in fact he ends up recruiting several people close to the creator with knowledge of olden speak to analyze them. A funeral parlor consultant well known for his historical knowledge, a 500 year old shrine maiden who owns and runs her own publishing house, and a bard who somehow butted his way in on the project. None of them could resist the opportunity to witness the creator's sacred scriptures with their own eyes.
Needless to say, the papers ended up being fought over and have been making their rounds around your acolytes. It started with Ei, who insisted that as an archon she also should see the creator's work with her own eyes. Then once Ningguang found out, she ordered they be handed over to a team of literary analysts in order to be properly handled and deciphered. Things got really messy quick, but have luckily come to a halt as none of the acolytes want the creator to know their random writings are being fought over.
Especially when it comes to the creator's sullen additute. Their acolytes first have to convince their holiness that their inability to read and understand the creator's writing shouldn't prevent you from doing what you love. In fact... could they convince you to write some more?
WRITER OR READER WITH TALENTS HAS MY WHOLE HEART LIKE-
On one hand, same 💀 id be terrified for my all time fav skrunklies to see my bs
But at the same time i rlly wanna show them goddamit- THANK U FOR THE BRAIN FOOD IM RUNNING LAPS AROUND MY HOUSE THINKING ABT THIS-
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Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them), Writer!Reader
Planet: Language Shenanigans
Orbit: Scenario
Stars: Alhaitham mostly, some of Kaveh, mentions of other Sumeru characters
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Insecure about craft/writing, anxious first pov (not serious),
& Trigger Warnings: Mild Negative self-talk, insecure perspective/reader “you”, possible anxiety depiction.
You were not a very confident writer.
This had been an avoidable feeling ever since you picked up a pen for the first time and were asked to write a story for school.
You were always anxious turning in essays, letting friends proofread them, anything that would expose your writing to more eyes, because you’d learned the hard way early on that as you get older and better at something, the stuff from the beginning… starts to look a lot different than you remember.
things you used to be proud of after having completed them in the moment, were something you struggled not to rip to shreds a year or two after you re-found it.
If it weren’t for other writers advising holding onto old work so you can see your progress over time, you’d have probably literally nothing older than one year on your ao3, wattpad, etc…
So when you had the fortunate luck (no it is not unfortunately, you are very happy to be here tbh) to fall headfirst into your video game you’ve been obsessed with lately,
You were not planning on showing them any of your writing.
Why would you, after all? You’ve got the weapons, the artifacts, everything they need to be more powerful. Why would you show them a silly little story you wrote? Fanfic or otherwise, not that theyll recognize any characters besides themselves, but still.
Alhaitham, bc ofc it was alhaitham, cocky, deviously aware bastard he is, caught you writing in your spare time first.
You’d gotten your hands on an old journal (if made you feel better than something completely new, a nice worn leather journal, sold at a secondhand shop from an old adventurer) and had started to write what you could remember about some of your ideas you’d had drafts for in your old world
After initially walking in on you writing in the House of Daena (it was the closest you could get to lofi girl, god u missed her lmao), you nearly jumped a foot in the air bc Haitham’s a nosy bitch and leaned over your shoulder and scared the absolute shit out of you, mans goes from asking politely, to begging you to let him read some of your writing over the course of 3 weeks (a month really)
Finally, after this 6 ft (about 180cm) man leans down one day (you’re sitting writing again), and gives you the most insanely good?? puppy dog eyes??? you’ve ever seen on a man???
you give in, revise a draft about 5 times in a row, lose sleep bc ur having a breakdown about alhaitham judging ur writing the night before you give him his copy-
and hand over a small short story for him to read. you specifically leave a little note not to judge you so hard for Haitham bc u werent used to people reading ur work/let alone someone as highly academic as him, ESPECIALLY since your speech is already so much more archaic than his/all of Teyvats-
His stupid green eyes with diamonds look into your soul (are they sparkling??) and he braces your shoulders after you give him his copy,
“Mine Greatest Guide, you hath deemed this one worthy of thy trust of your creations personally, I would be a fool to gaze upon it in jest. To take this work as anything less than a masterpiece in its infant stages.”
…you just leave him to it, and are nearly running out of there (u managed to be calm enough to just speedwalk),
and you make a point to not ask what he thought about it, or even bring it up at all
you’re kind of hoping he forgot tbh… and so nothing happens!
Nothing happens… for 2 weeks after you gave Haitham a copy of your short story.
You still don’t know Alhaitham’s opinion when you see the advertisement, a sign saying something about, a new book? By YOU???
You nearly start a mob because the shopkeeper insisted you sign some copies, but you only signed a few before too many people overwhelmed you, and seeing it was that same draft- !! Oh god, you’d been agonizing over the spelling errors you’d missed when you gave it to Alhaitham, and now it’s just out there???
(luckily it seems the reviews are positive, but dammit you’ve been rereading ur story u gave him for days, and now ur positive it’s shit-)
You make a break for it, and are literally running (more like speed-walking after a while, since u got further away) thru Sumeru City:
you pass by the open patio of a restaurant, the scholars are heatedly discussing ur characterization-
you pass by Dehya, Candace, and Dunyazard, the merc is waving around a copy of ur book, the other two women look excited abt the conversation-
oh my god-
Nahida is relaxing in one of the many little gazebos thruout Sumeru, while Wanderer seems to be reading your story to her-
You fucking track down Alhaitham’s house like a bloodhound.
You are banging the infamous gay roommates’ front door, panting til ur throat burns raw.
“Yes, yes, alright, greetings to you too! I was simply visiting the Acting Grand Sage Alhaitham, tis why I’m here- Greatest Lord?!”
Kaveh is nearly jumps a foot in the air at the sight of you, but recovers, (you’re still not tho lmao)
and invites you in bc apparently, Alhaitham’s been meaning to talk to you about your draft you gave him!
Oh yeah, you’ve got some words to give Haitham after giving him that damn draft privately-
But when he sees you, the fucker just- smiles??
Like he’s done nothing wrong???
You’re about to tear into him when he speaks first to tell you the good news!
He grabs your hands at the table and gets down on one knee, ohhhh no.
Alhaitham is giving you those damn begging puppy dog eyes again.
“My Greatest Lord, Giver of Power, and Guide to All, your exquisite story has entranced all of Teyvat, might I please insist you write a sequel? It is an excellent literary piece to analyze… or perhaps, even better, share other stories you’ve written??”
….Motherfucker.
Hello I’m alive! I just took a longer-than-usual break between posts from those last 2 mammoth pieces about gifts,
1: bc they were a lot to write in between writing other stuff like fanfics im already working on lol 2: I got busy with holidays and trying to apply to jobs!
Not that I’m still not doing that.. but you get what I mean!
Safe Travels Anon,
That being said, as you’ve probably noticed, I’ve made a kofi! so if you ever liked my writing (hot mess it is) and want to show me some love, feel free to leave a tip! :]
Iced coffee?? :0
💀♒
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche
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elliesflower · 1 year
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loser!!!!!bff!!!!ellie!!!!!!!! hc's
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i’m just jumping on the loser!ellie train bc i actually love it and i feel like she’s such a loser despite her commitment issues like…she wants to believe in love so bad, SO BAD that she is actually a hopeless romantic deep down she literally can’t help it but it’s trapped under her awkward funny girl exterior. she's so me fr 😵‍💫
all these are sfw except for a lil sum special for you FREAKS at the end teehee so as with all my content, please 18+ only, mdni!!!
cw; afab!reader, smut (at the end)
♡ all her doodles of cat and dina hello??? she’d have a whole fucking journal dedicated to just drawings of you, every time you hang out she’d be discreetly letting her eyes linger on your face so that she can sketch you out later. and she’d smile while sketching you i know she would, her cheeks would get all red and maybe she’d even giggle she wants you so bad!!! 
♡ she’d be on patrol and see a beautiful yellow flower and immediately think of you, she has to pick it for her best friend, she HAS to!! she’d lose her balance on her damn horse trying to protect it from getting damaged while she rode back into town, but it’s worth it to see the smile on your pretty face 
♡ i feel like she'd follow you around. in any context. patrol? she's slightly behind your horse to keep an eye on you. walking around jackson? she's literally always right behind your left shoulder, letting you lead the way. party at dina's? she's practically glued to you the whole night, and when the liquor would hit she was a little handsy, pathetically looping a finger through your belt loop as she followed you to the bathroom, moving your hair out of your face when you'd talk to her, etc.. and of course the next day she'd get so sick when she recalled her behavior, feeling shameful and wondering if you were catching on (ofc you were).
♡ and she’d dream about you all the time oh my gosh! esp after hanging out with you all day she wouldn’t be able to get you out of her head when she gets home. maybe she’ll definitely even write your name with a little heart next to it in her journal when she’s recalling the day. her subconscious would manifest the way that you looked trying to play her guitar into her dreams that night
♡ speaking of guitar, she’d 10000% write songs for you. she wouldn’t tell you they’re for you, of course, she’d just play the most beautiful love song you’ve ever heard and play it off like it was nothing. but when she gets home she’d probably cry because she was too scared to make a move on you :( 
♡ i also mentioned this in a previous post but this bitch would love frank ocean, so i can see her falling asleep listening to thinkin bout you and crying bout you :( or imagine in a modern world her sketching in her journal while listening to ivy before she starts to cry because she's so frustrated by her own awkwardness, and the fact she can't ever seem to tell you how she feels :((((
♡ if you ever got into another relationship would be beating herself up over it, like why didn't she make a move sooner? and she wouldn't be able to help herself, she'd get extra moody whenever your partner was around, distant and clearly irritated. poor baby is just so bad at expressing her feelings that whenever you'd ask her about it she'd just throw it under the rug and say she's on her period or something
♡ but when you and your partner inevitably broke up, of course she was right there to be your shoulder to cry on. you'd show up at her house sobbing in the middle of the night, and i think it would take her aback, honestly, how she felt her own tears falling as she embraced you on her doorstep. she would be so emotionally connected to you, your tears were hers, and she wanted nothing more than to make you feel better. she'd throw out an empty threat to your ex, and it'd make you smile. she loves to see you smile, gosh she'd do anything to make you happy, she just loves you so much!
♡ she wouldn't. stop. with the fucking. dad jokes. she'd be insatiable, truly, like...you were starting to wonder if she was getting off on telling them to you or something. but really, she just wanted to make you feel better, any little thing she could do to make you laugh would make her feel like she did good enough for the day
♡ and you'd start to see her romantically after a while, how could you not? and why didn't you sooner? she'd be so easily flustered though, every time your hand would linger on her shoulder, or whenever you'd squeeze her even tighter as you watched a horror movie...her heart would start beating all fast and her cheeks would get so rosy. maybe her pussy would even throb when she noticed you bending over extra slowly while getting dressed one day. and of course you were doing it for her
♡ she wouldn't be able to contain herself when you kiss her for the first time. and of course you made the first move, you think a loser like ellie would ever kiss you first? she'd been so desperate for you for so long i really think she might whine into your mouth. she's a whimperer, really, she'd probably gasp when you shove your hand down the front of her pants and get your fingers moving over her clit,
"oh! oh m'god," she'd be pathetic, her jaw clenching as she whined into your shoulder while your fingers slid between her wet folds with ease. she'd cum so fucking fast you'd barely have time to blink, repeating your name over and over like a prayer as she made a mess of your hand. you've never seen her like this, lust clouding her inhibition and making her so desperate it was like she was brainless, grabbing your wrist and bringing your slick-covered fingers to her mouth to suck them clean.
"i gotta taste you," she'd whine, and she'd make sure you were comfortable on the bed before spreading your legs and eating you out like she was a woman possessed, literally drunk on the taste of your pussy.
"taste so fucking good," between kitten licks to your clit, did she even know what she was saying? "i love you, i fucking love you," of course she was confessing her love for you now, when she had her nose buried in your cunt, intoxicated by the sound of your moans and the feeling of your skin being indented by her fingertips.
she may be a loser, but she'd be your loser.
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crackedhrglass · 5 days
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i got this ask on my strawpage and was gonna type it up in my notes app and post it to twitter, but i really couldn't figure out a way to say it concisely, so i'm answering it here bc it's prob gonna be long lol.
do i think stancest is actually canon? simply put, no. despite how often i'm like "STANCEST IS CANON!!" i truly don't think that AH and the writers intended stan & ford's relationship to be seen through an incestuous lens.
their relationship is def the heart of the show, second only to dipper & mabel's own bond. they are the center of each other's worlds, their story & character arcs revolve almost entirely around each other, and their happy ending is literally the two of them sailing off into the sunset to spend "the rest of their days" together (ford says this almost word-for-word in journal 3).
but i still don't think all of that was meant to be taken romantically.
in my opinion, where things start to get a little weird is, surprisingly enough, ford's relationship with bill.
the rest is under a cut bc HOLY SHIT this got longer than i expected.
there's no denying that bill was written to deliberately parallel stan in a number of ways, from his mannerisms, to his conman status, to the fact that he calls ford the same name stan did when they were kids.
he's written in a very intentional way that makes him serve as both stan's parallel and his foil, especially in their respective relationships to ford (bill feeds into ford's ego and encourages him to aspire for greatness alone, stan has always been a direct obstacle & challenge to ford's ego, accidentally ruining his chances at WCT & encouraging him to live out their childhood dream together; bill valued infinite power over his own family and destroyed his dimension as a result, stan valued his family over everything, and saved ford and his dimension as a result).
normally, this wouldn't be that big of a deal to a stancest shipper like myself. but as the book of bill & the accompanying website all but confirmed in big, flashing neon lights, ford & bill have a romantic history and are exes.
having the two people closest to ford be compared to one another is one thing. having ford be drawn to bill because of how similar he is to the brother he secretly misses is one thing.
having ford be romantically involved with said character is what makes me raise an eyebrow lol.
again, do i think ford is literally a brocon who's got repressed sexual/romantic feelings for stan?
no.
i do, however, think he has unresolved Brother Issues that led him to subconsciously find comfort in a romantic partner that reminded him of stan (right down to bill calling him stan's nickname for him) in much the same way a person with "daddy issues" may seek out affection & intimacy from someone who reminds them of their father (or is just "fatherly" in general).
that much, i believe, was actually intentional. it's just too blatant to not be lol. it'd be a completely different story if either
bill & stan were nothing alike (untrue) or
ford & bill's relationship was strictly platonic and didn't have any romantic implications (also untrue)
i've said this before, but this isn't just a case of "oh, ford fell in love with someone who just coincidentally reminds him of his brother." bill's use of the nickname "sixer" during their first encounter was a deliberate attempt at appealing to a part of ford that was repressed, vulnerable, and aching, in order to get ford's guard down and make it easier for ford to trust him, and it worked.
billford is a ship that, to put it bluntly, would not exist without ford's buried feelings for stan, even disregarding shipping/incest/etc. ford's desire to be close to stan even platonically is what allowed bill to needle his way into ford's heart in the first place.
and all of this wouldn't be that weird if, again, bill hadn't continued to feed into ford's longing for stan even after they'd established a romantic relationship, by still calling him "sixer" and trying to permanently sever the relationship he had with stan specifically, once he and ford broke up (the phone call he tried to make while in ford's body that was described in tbob).
to put it another way, imagine if wendy was basically an older, taller mabel, or if any of mabel's crushes were eerily similar to dipper. people in the fandom would def take notice and view it as a little strange. so i don't get how people can look at ford dating someone so blatantly and intentionally similar to stan and think to themselves "ah yes, this is normal. ford is completely Normal and definitely doesn't have any underlying issues whatsoever" lmao
to conclude: no, i don't think ford & stan's relationship is actually canonically romantic, nor do i think ford falling in love with bill was incestuous, necessarily.
but i do think that he had a desperate longing to reconcile with stan buried DEEEEEEP down, and it manifested itself in the form of being attracted to bill, which is probably why he never bothered correcting bill's use of the nickname "sixer" since their very first meeting, or ever expressed that it made him uncomfortable.
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coolyiooo · 1 year
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BSD Men - When Someone They Know Has A Crush On You
pairings: Dazai, Ranpo, Fyodor
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❗Warnings❗biting, marking, hickeys, slight angst, PDA stuff
🖤DAZAI🖤
Dazai has been noticing how Kunikida has been acting differently towards you. He just seems more timid and nicer to you than the rest of the ADA members. You don't seem to notice it, but he definitely does.
I feel like Dazai wouldn't say anything directly towards Kunikida about how he knows he likes you, but he'd give subtle hints to him. He saw how Kunikida kept looking where you sat in the ADA office ,which was right next to him, and Dazai would say in a teasing tone,
"whatcha looking at Kunikida?" Kunikida blushes a bit
"go back to work. I was just spacing out" he said nonchalantly, only making Dazai smirk.
Sometimes during work, Dazai will just walk up from behind your chair and hug you and whisper sweet nothing's in your ear, but loud enough for Kunikida to hear
"Your so beautiful my belladonna~" he gave you a kiss on the cheek. You were blushing.
"Can't stay away from me for two seconds?" You teasingly asked
"I don't see you complaining my love" he kissed your cheek again with a loving smile.
"I suppose you don't recall our last discussion about PDA rules? Can't you guys wait until you go home?"
"I think someone is jealous~" Dazai responded
"What do you mean?" Kunikida asked a bit startled, wondering if Dazai found out about his secret.
"Just that you don't have a girlfriend, but wait didn't your little journal say you won't find your soulmate until-"
"Enough! Go back to your seat Dazai!"
Dazai would also definitely leave bite marks and hickeys on your neck just so Kunikida can see and remind him who you belong to.You tried your best to cover your hickeys and bite marks Dazai gave you last night, but some of it was still noticeable. You'd have to really look directly at your neck to notice.
During work Kunikida looked at your direction and noticed some marks on your neck, the longer he looked at it he finally knew what it was. He'd get a bit hurt, just another reminder you belong to someone else, but why does it have to be him?
He looked at Dazai and Dazai felt his stare, he'd look back at him "Hm? Getting distracted again Kunikida? Its becoming a bad habit~"
"Oh shut up I was just thinking for one second"
"Oh? About what?"
"None of your business. Get your work done"
Dazai's lips curled into a smirk. Honestly he'd probably feel a tad bad for Kunikida, but at the same time he doesn't just bc there's no way he'd willingly give you up for Kunikida. He knows that you love him and not Kunikida and that he wouldn't make a move on you.
💚RANPO💚
The second he saw how Dazai looked at you, he knew instantly that Dazai has fallen for you. Dazai would know that Ranpo knows that he likes you and Ranpo would know that Dazai knows that he figured out his little crush on you.
Sorry for making this confusing, but they're intellectuals so.
Ranpo wouldn't be insecure or scared about you leaving him for Dazai because he knows you love him, but he'd still keep a close eye on Dazai because he's very flirtatious and a bit touchy towards you. Ranpo would probably confront Dazai about it.
"You do know that being flirty with y/n won't get you anywhere right?"
Dazai smiles sinisterly " yes I'm well aware, but are you perhaps a bit frightened she might choose me over you?"
Ranpo laughs "HA! ofc not! I know she loves me dearly, I just wouldn't want you to get your hopes up so please know your place" he says with a smile.
Dazai looks away, a sinister smile still on his face "Alright, You always know what's best "
Ranpo would know Dazai wouldn't really try anything too bold and Dazai really wouldn't just because he knows it's a loosing game. Still doesn't mean that Ranpo won't show Dazai how much you love him.
It was another normal day at the ADA office and Ranpo was craving some love from you.
He yells across the office "Baby cakes! Can you please come here?"
Everybody jolted from the sudden yelling after the office being quiet for a long period of time. You looked at your boyfriend who was smiling at you.
"Hm? Alright" You walked right next to your boyfriend's side
"is there something wrong?"
Ranpo then suddenly held your waist and forced you to sit on his lap making you yelp. He put his arms around you, hugging you from behind, and put his chin on your shoulder. You were a blushing mess and caught by surprise. Everybody in the office just ignored you and luckily Kunikida wasn't there at the office today.
Ranpo chuckled, "nothing wrong, you were just so cute I couldn't help myself!" He snuggled his nose to your neck .
You chuckled softly, "alright but if you become more of a distraction I will have to go back to my seat"
He sighed gently "fineee" he gives you a quick peck on the neck making you smile.
Ranpo knew Dazai wasn't really watching but he didn't need to, to know what was happening. Ranpo was just smiling to himself. Dazai would feel sorrowful about the situation but he'll just smile through the pain as always :( he'd probably keep his distance from you and that distance will grow larger just so he won't be so heartbroken.
💜FYODOR💜
Our man is very observant so he noticed how Nikolai was more open with you and would try his hardest to make you laugh or how he also took notice on Nikolai's body language and tone in his voice when he's with you. He just knew Nikolai is interested in you.
I feel like Fyodor wouldn't say anything to Nikolai just so there wouldn't be conflict and that'd ruin his plans so he just keeps you and Nikolai at a distance.
I can see Fyodor sneakily making up excuses to separate you two from interacting, but when he can't, he'll find other ways to show Nikolai that he can't have you
Fyodor walks into a room while looking for you, when he does find you he sees that Nikolai is there with you. You were both laughing at whatever the hell y'all were talking about that you didn't even notice your boyfriend standing by the doorway, staring at you two. When you finally realize Fyodor is there, you smile at him.
"Oh hi Fedya! Are you taking a break?"
Nikolai looks at Fyodor with a bit of disappointment, you can barley notice it but Fyodor did.
"No my love, but I do need to see you for a moment" he walks towards you two
"Oh alright! Well bye Nikolai"
You wave Nikolai goodbye while getting up from your seat, he waves back at you
"Don't be gone for too long! You are the only one who cures my boredom" he replied
Fyodor's held his arm out to you and you take his hand, but he smoothly slides it to your hips and takes you to your room. Nikolai's eyes follow you two until your completely out of the room.
When you and Fyodor make it to your room, he starts to gently kiss you and caress your body while putting your back against the wall. You were caught off guard, but you immediately kissed back. Your arms were around his neck and his were on your waist as you both make out passionately.
You pulled on his hair slightly to pull away from the kiss.As you were slightly breathing heavily you asked
"is this why you wanted to see me?" You smiled slightly while tilting your head to the side
"Not exactly"
"Hm? Don't tell me you were a little jealous Fedya~" you asked with amusement in your voice
"Why would I be jealous my love? I have no reason to"
"Yeah your right, jealousy doesn't suit you.. but maybe possessive?"
He pulls your hair back, leaving your neck exposed, making you gasp.He then sinks his teeth into your neck, not enough to make you bleed, he then leaves a couple hickeys on your soft neck and pulls away.
"I just have to remind others what's mine" he kisses your bite mark then looks into your eyes with his harsh ones.
"Don't hide these do you understand?"
You smile at him "wasn't planning on it"
When you return to Nikolai, he sees the marks on your neck. He'll joke/tease you about it as a way to cope with what he's feeling and Fyodor will be able to see the pained look in Nikolai's eyes, but he'll hold no sympathy for him only pity.
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kisses4kaia · 9 months
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i’ve been seeing ppl do sej x coryo x reader and all the time i see dom sej, switch coryo, and sub reader and it gave me this idea.
i think it would be interesting to see dom coryo, switch sej, and sub reader. yes ik this is very much ooc BUT IDGAF 😵
the plot could be that coryo and sej find the reader’s diary that she kept hidden in a shoebox. in the diary she’s saying things like “oh i want coryo or sej so bad omg”(obviously not like that LMAO). i feel like you could put romance into this plot too by having them see that she also would write about these cute scenarios abt them both. TEETH ROTTING THINGS EVEN.
i’m not sure if coryo would be more gentle with sej bc in my mind he(coryo) would be the one to actually consider the things in the diary. sej is up for the idea, but he’s nervous abt doing this with coryo bc duh it’s his best friend.
anyways, i hope this is interesting enough to do bc i liked how you wrote sub sej!
(this was long asf i’m so sorry 😭😭 also, this doesn’t have to be a long ass fic! if you think this would be better as a longer fic or shorter fic, GO AHEAD‼️‼️)
YES I LOVE ! plz don’t apologize i loved hearing ur thoughts . oh and i changed some minor things about this but i still hope u enjoy💞
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your blood ran cold as corio stood at the foot of the bed, your fuzzy pink diary in hand as sejanus stood next to him, arms crossed and a smug look on his face, as if he was trying to contain laughter. “god, i would die happy if i could sit on coriolanus’ face and have sejanus stuff his cock down my throat,” corio quoted your journal, an devilish, amused, smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “such dirty words for such a shy girl. don’t you agree, sejanus?”
he meets the blond boys eyes and nods, in modest agreement. “i don’t know, corio, i’m not all that surprised. i mean, she practically begged to join our group for the project,” he cocked his head slightly as he reasoned, all too casual about the situation.
he hadn’t lied, when professor click assigned a project for groups of three, you immediately got to batting your eyelashes and flattery with the two boys. at first, your intentions were pure, only wanting to ensure a good grade for the assignment, and it made the most sense to try to get with sejanus and coriolanus, for they had the highest marks in the entirety of the class. you had wanted nothing but an ‘a’, until you began noticing how beautiful corio’s eyes were in the sunlight, and how full and plump sej’s lips were when he pushed a pencil through them in concentration, and you hadn’t even realized you’d begun spiraling. you entrusted your diary with all the details of your infatuation for the boys, and as you wrote on late, dark nights, you’d never expected to have the subjects of your logs read it. you were utterly mortified, and your paled expression did not conceal it well. “oh, come on now, darling. don’t be ashamed, we aren’t judging you,” coriolanus cooed at your rigid posture at the head of the bed.
today was supposed to be the last day. the last day you were working on the project, and you’d let them into your empty home, into your bedroom, and onto your bed. you had let them linger in your room while you grabbed your school bag from the living room, facilitating them just the right amount of time to snoop if they so pleased, and you should have known that they did. in their defense, how could sejanus even be blamed for reaching for the blush book sitting in such plain sight on your nightstand? how could coriolanus be at fault for reading more when the first page had ‘corio ♡’ and ‘sej ♡’ written about 30 times all over the lined paper? when you’d returned, completely oblivious to their snooping, corio had hidden it behind his back and obscured it from your view. it was only when you turned to grab a pen off of your nightstand, the nightstand in which you retired your diary to every night, that you noticed the pink rectangle missing. slowly, you turned to face the boys who were standing, your innermost thoughts and secrets in corio’s hands. “i-it’s not what it looks like, i promise. i just…” you’re stumbling over your words nervously and you can feel sweat forming on your brow.
corio just laughs before sejanus takes the book from him, thumbing to another page. “all i want is for sej to hold me in his strong arms while corio eats me out. i need him to call me a good girl, i need it, i need it, i need it,” as he reads, his voice is monotonous, but his face reads touched, pleased. he looks over to corio, and upon viewing the expression on his face, knowing exactly which gears are turning in that head of his, he shakes his head. “i don’t know, corio. is that really a good idea?” sej is hesitant, but the blond boy just keeps staring at you with hungry eyes, the brunette boys apprehension not deterring him from his goal one bit. “sejanus, she obviously wants it if she wrote a whole fucking novel on how bad she needs to get her holes filled by me and you,” he reasons, speaking as though you are not in the room, which sent shivers rampant all over your skin. “but together?” sejanus squeaks and corio’s expression of amusement shifts from you to him. “what, you don’t want to? because i’ll be here? c’mon, sejanus, let’s not pretend i can’t see you’re hard at the mere idea of seeing me cum inside of her,” sejanus just rolls his eyes and redirects his attention back to you. “you want this?” he’s walking slowly, closer and closer to you, you who’s sat pretty at the head of the queen-sized bed, like an unsuspecting doe while the wolves prey on you hungrily. coriolanus walks around the other side, and your senses are on fire, watching your two classmates stalk towards you with primal lust swirling in their deep eyes.
you can only nod weakly, afraid that if you were to make a sound, your own voice would betray you. “words, sweetheart,” corio says in a singsong voice, his hand reaching out to your chin, jerking it to force your eyes to meet his. “please,” you squeak, lower lip almost quivering. the blond boy pouts at you, before using his free hand to fall between your thighs, flipping your skirt up before petting your cunt over your embarrassingly damp panties. corio’s digits move skillfully as the pads of his fingers press through the fabric and onto your clit, pulling desperate whimpers out of you. you haven’t forgotten about sejanus in the slightest, hyper aware of his looming presence, but you were much too afraid to break eye contact with corio, so you simply whisper faintly under your breath “sejanus,”
corio lets up on his grip of your jaw and allows your eyes to land on sejanus, who’s palming his bulge through his trousers. his eyes read your needy ones before grabbing your hand and replacing his own. you gasp at the how large he feels even through the layers of fabric, and have to bite your lip to the point of breaking skin so as to contain a moan. corio’s ministrations feel good, so good, but it’s not enough. “more, please. need you, need you both” your eyes begin pricking with tears as you look back at the snow boy, face rendering as a plead as your hips buck weakly into his hand. “i know, baby, i know,” corio leans down and for the first time, presses a kiss to your lips, before pulling your panties to the side and sliding his middle digit into you with ease. you moan against the sweet lips on yours, and turn to face sejanus, eyes begging for permission as you toy with the button on his trousers. “go ahead, pretty,” sejanus breathes out, pleasure building up within him. as well as you can manage while under the influence of gratification corio is invoking upon you, you undo the button and the zipper of sejanus’ pants and pull them down along with his boxers, allowing his cock to spring free. you were mesmerized at first glance, he was beautiful; girthy, but still quite lengthy. prominent veins ran up and down him and his tip was a dark shade of vermillion, weeping with pre. you swear you thought drool was coming out of your mouth, because sejanus just smiles knowingly, guiding your hand back onto his cock.
at the same time, corio adds another finger to your tight cunt. his other hand comes in to use the pad of his thumb to draw calculated, deliciously meticulous, circles on your sensitive bud. you can tell sejanus is close from the way his eyes flutter shut as pleasure overtakes him, from how you can feel him twitch in your hand, and you know your release is coming soon, too. and when it does, pleasure courses through your veins, you had never felt anything like the orgasm corio talked you through. “fuck, yeah baby. cum all on my fingers, hm? poor, pretty, baby. so wound up f’me,”
not long after, you feel sejanus’ seed spill onto your hand, a string of explicits falling smoothly from his plump lips, along with moans of your name and praises for how good you make him feel. when his eyes reopen, you suddenly feel bolder than you did 20 minutes ago, and stare him down like he’s the prey, while licking his sperm off of your pretty, delicate, manicured, fingers. sejanus thinks—no, he knows—that could’ve made him cum again on the spot if corio hadn’t interjected, his tone a starved and vicious growl.
“on your knees, now.”
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𝓘 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝓘 𝓪𝓶
Summary: You’re just a rebound or plan B to them. Or all in all, you’re nothing to them, they just need you just because. characters:(individual) Diluc, Zhongli, Ayato x Fem! Reader Warning: pregnant reader, angst, not proofread, grammar mistakes.
there are spoiler lines in the last part of each one of them, make sure to remember those lines, they maybe important authors note: MOMMAS HOME WOO!! yeah, I redid my work yippie, I changed Childe bc I don’t rlly like him lol :3..WHO MISSED ME >:DD
Diluc 
you were so dumb. blinded by how your first love finally acknowledged your hard work and asked you out, after 7 years of you trying so hard to make him fall in love with you. However that wasn’t the case at all. He never loved you, he never felt anything towards you, you were only a rebound, his plan b if Jean would ever reject him, he loved Jean, saw a future with her, but in the end she rejected him. He was devastated, but then he remembered you, you were waiting for him. You were nothing like Jean, but you’ll do. You were just just his best friend who knew so much about him, he wouldn’t hurt to try right?...oh dear how wrong he was.
“I hate you! after all this time, you thought me of as a second choice a rebound!?”,your voice was loud enough to be heard from outside the manor. Diluc standing there, in such a pathetic state, not knowing what to do. ‘How did you find out?’ he thought. “You’re shocked on how I found out, am I right?”, you glared at him, your gaze full of hatred and sorrow. “I saw your journal. You left it at our bed table last night, I wanted to give it back to you when you returned, I was being nosey, I admit. Good thing I was being nosey or I would live a lie my entire life.”, your voice hoarse from all the crying and shouting.
“I...I’m sorry, forgive me..”, Diluc’s voice all quiet, his lips quivering in fear, not knowing what to do.  “You’re not forgiven. I’ll be leaving tonight” The last time he saw you was when you were leaving for Liyue.
‘So..what now?’
Zhongli
You should’ve never have confessed, what an idiot you are. You knew your resemblance with Guizhong, you knew how many people complemented you because of your looks and how you act like Guizhong. You didn’t let it get past you though, you thought it was nice being resembled to a god, a dead god to that. Maybe that’s why Zhongli returned your feelings. the way you smile, talk, act, you resembled her. Zhongli isn’t the type to get mad but when you do something out of character, he gets slightly irritated, your supposed to be like her...but are you really her?
“ If you truly loved her, why didn’t you die along with her, then?”, all you could see was red, your words stung him, and you were enjoying everything bit.
“I am truly sorry, my love. It was a mistake, I promise to do better in the future!” His voice shaking, afraid to lose you, afraid to lose her.
“There is no future between us”, your eyes all dull, no emotion showing, oh how you enjoyed seeing the retired archon breaking down, right in front of you. Begging for you to forgive him.
“I’m not doing the same mistake, ever again.”
And you were no longer seen again.
‘Live for me, please! I can’t afford to lose you!’
Ayato
Being in an arranged marriage with Ayato wasn’t easy, he was always busy with work, thats what he said after spending the whole entire day hanging out with Lumine. He knew he could never be with Lumine because of this darn arranged marriage, he stayed cold and mean to you and uses the excuse of him being busy with work. He thought you wouldn't find out. But luck was not on his side this time.
“ You’re really bad at hiding, Ayato.” your voice cold, you could freeze anyone with your aura by now, but he stood his guard and defended himself “She’s just a friend! why can’t you understand that!”, his eyes full of hatred.
“But do you think friends kiss? do you think friends hang out and go on fancy dates, friends do say ‘I love you ‘ to each other.” His eyes widen in shock, so you saw, huh.
“...” he had nothing to say anymore, he was speechless
“I’ll send you the divorce papers tomorrow, I knew you’d never be good at parenting due to all the so called ‘business’ you have” You looked over your shoulder one last time, seeing his horrified face.
‘Is the child..mine..?’
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