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#just a daughter and a dad trying to navigate life as the dad gets wrapped with his work and the daughter has a hard time in school
arataka-reigen · 1 year
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I watched Twilight a few days ago. And that movie is So Good, like,, unironically it is a very good movie, the dialogue is amazing, the cinematography is pretty, the mood of the movie is well established with the blue filter and sopping wet look everything has... does it have an incredibly cringe romantic plot? Yes, but it is very charming if you ignore all the problematic stuff. And it is so funny i spent the first half of the movie laughing way too hard. I am so disappointed with the rest of the series because that first movie is worth a billion dollars. To me.
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kedsandtubesocks · 6 months
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seasons of you (year 1 - spring)
Farmer!Joel Miller x F!Reader
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summary: it’s your very first spring living in the valley & you’re very sure Joel Miller already wants you leave
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, stardew valley AU, reader is a new farmer & has a family but no physical description, mentions of unspecified age gap (reader’s age is not mentioned but Joel is older & in his 50’s) very light use of gendered language, handyman & farmer!Joel, grumpy!Joel, wound tending & blood imagery, discussion of family loss with light navigation of grief, Ellie being Joel’s daughter, secret softie!Joel, alcohol consumption mention, use of nickname, budding romance
word count: 5.4k
a/n: our first ‘Joel’ fic for our stardew AU series! Here’s to starting this new aventure with y’all! I couldn’t have the strength to post this without @swiftispunk @lowlights @ahauntedcowboy @burntheedges @perotovar you angels don’t know how much I appreciate y’all and am so grateful for you babes…and to you, if you read this - I’m so thankful for you too ♡
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No one in Pelican Town hates you more than Joel Miller does. George, the crabby older elderly man in town, might be a close second, but Joel has him beat by miles.
For someone so incredibly handsome, almost beautiful in a rugged wilderness way with his misty mountain gray hair and sharp lovely nose, his glare could wither your entire family farm’s field.
“He’s just an ass sometimes.” Your Dad had told you with a sigh over the phone. “Been that way even when your gramps was around.”
At first you didn’t want to fully admit it but yeah, Joel is a prickly cactus of a man.
He owns a farm further down the path from yours. You love walking by it when you take the long way home and getting to spot all the sheep roaming around his fields. He’s also the town’s handyman.
“A jack of all trades, more like it.” Pierre, the main store owner, snickered that to you while Joel was in the store fixing a light fixture.
After that Joel helped you set up your first fencing gate. Then he fixed your sink. And then your water heater.
It’s been a lot and you know it. You feel guilty at how bad you can’t seem to get a hang of this new life yet. Your grandpa did it, thrived even. You can too, or you hope you can.
Until Joel glares at you like you’re a bug ready to squash, then you feel incredibly small.
Once you physically and accidentally ran into him walking out of the blacksmith’s shop when he was heading in. You sputtered out an apology, but without a single word Joel walked past you as if you weren’t even worth his time.
One night you went to the town’s saloon hoping to maybe mingle and get to know everyone better. But simply seeing him sitting inside made you turn on your heels and scramble out.
From that point on you’ve been avoiding him.
But now unfortunately, a few paces away from Joel Miller’s farm, your hand bleeds out a bit aggressively.
“Shit.” You hiss, slipping off your backpack to search for your mini first aid kit.
Yesterday you stubbornly tried fixing your fence and accidentally scrapped your hand pretty bad against the wood. Earlier you believed you wrapped it good enough but now the blood soaking through the bandaid mocks you.
“You alright?!”
The sharp accented drawl rings out loud in the early morning and fear collides into you.
Of course Joel hadn’t left for the morning.
You yell back that you’re fine but scramble frantic now trying to find the damn first aid kit.
“Is that blood?” Joel snaps, sounding closer, as his boots rush against the dirt.
“No, I spilled paint.” You grumble to yourself annoyed.
“M’old but I fuckin’ heard that.” Damn.
He’s much closer now, so close his shadow falls over you but you refuse to look at him.
“What happened!?” He barks confused.
Sighing, you give up hope on finding the poor elusive first aid kit.
“Just cut my hand, that's all. It isn’t deep. I’m fine.” You reassure him.
Joel sighs angrily.
“Come on.”
Now you turn and discover his soil eyes stare at you with such a steeled intensity you almost want to scurry away.
“Fixin’ this up inside.” He doesn’t even ask or let you leave. With one yank Joel Miller pulls you towards his farmhouse.
“I’m fine.” You snap back.
“What? Just wanna let it bleed ‘n get everywhere?” An edge in Joel’s voice silences you.
Any argument you wanted to hiss out immediately floats away the moment you cross the threshold into his house. Your eyes go wide. You never once thought you’d ever see the inside of Joel Miller’s place.
It’s larger than your grandpa's.
Joel deposits you into his kitchen. The lingering smell of breakfast, possibly oatmeal with its warm cinnamon notes, hangs in the air. Yet you feel like a caught feral cat that doesn’t know how to react being inside a house for the first time.
So you let your eyes wander.
Beautiful wood cupboards line the walls. A fridge is covered with various papers held up by sweet colorful cartoonish magnets you never would’ve expected from him. A worn cozy, well loved, couch peeks out from the slight view of the living room you spot being inside the kitchen.
Joel’s house seems knitted together by a rustic weathered comfort. Yet, there’s a hollowness to the house, like it’s waiting for more spirit to fill the halls. You can’t pinpoint or describe the stillness here in this place, but you sense it.
After rustling around a drawer, Joel yanks out a rather impressive medical kit. Largely bulky and intimidating, like him, it’s no surprise a handyman and farmer has such a first aid kit.
“How’d it happen?” Joel asks gruff and quiet as he rummages around the bag.
You tell him and his seasoned face scrunches up frustrated.
“Why didn’t ya call and have me go fix it?”
You thought about that. But you couldn’t handle the thought of asking him to help again, to deal with his frustrated sighs and gruff annoyance. He barely said a word to you last weekend when he went to check your sink again.
“Don’t need you to fix everything.” You tell him composed while Joel pulls out various things to wrap your wound.
“Besides, I can fix things on my own.” You add firm.
“Not all the time.” He replies.
You stay quiet and watch his hands, large and callous, gingerly dab away all the crimson from your cut.
He’s never been this close to you. You catch the faintest smell of wood and of something clean crisp, his laundry detergent maybe. It threatens to fog your senses knowing he smells this lovely.
“Y’dont ask for help and shit like this happens.”
Your face hardens at Joel’s words. You even childishly want to yank away your hand and storm off.
“Look I get it, you barely tolerate me and think I can’t do shit. I know I’m still new, but this was an accident. It happens.” Your words come out harsher than you intended, sharpened scythes that cut through the room, and Joel freezes.
“I don’t think that.” He replies clear as a spring blue sky.
You want to bark a laugh of disbelief, but instead you simply stay silent.
Joel sighs, keeping his eyes on the medic tape he readies.
“And I… tolerate you.” He sputters like he’s trying to muster the words out.
A moment passes. Then Joel sighs, ancient and heavy.
“Don’t mind me. M’just some grumpy old fuck-”
“Hey you’re not old. You’re just grumpy.” You interrupt trying to ease the mood and your heart jumps hearing him snort.
“M’old.” He clarifies. He is older, older than you, and that fact creates a strange flutter in your chest you don’t want to explore just yet.
“And…don’t want ya feelin’ like shit.” He continues with a curt softness.
You never knew his voice could sound this layered, so tough but tender.
“Just tryin’ to look out for ya like your gramps asked me too.”
There’s a strange apology shaded in his words but you manage to catch it. A rush of emotions drown you in their current.
“You were close with my grandpa.” You comment with a curious question lingering below the surface.
“Yeah,” Joel answers low now tenderly moving to wrap your hand. “His ol’ ass used to keep me in place.”
You smirk fondly. That sounds like your gramps.
“Miss seein’ him walk by this place and hearin’ him complain that he likes the sheep more than me.”
Joel’s fond and aching voice digs its hooks into your soul. You miss gramps too, so much.
“Used to fish a lot together out by the lake.” He adds.
This is the most Joel Miller has ever spoken to you and you worry the sun might fall out of the sky soon.
“I bet he out fished you.” You tease soft.
Joel snorts. “Damn right he did.”
You can almost picture it clearly, your gramps and Joel laughing together, having a friendship.
“He’d be proud of ya.” Joel mutters but his words chime clear.
Your attention flickers to Joel. He keeps his focus steady on your hand. However his words crystallize deep in your heart and you blink away tears. You ever expected Joel Miller to almost make you cry like this.
“Thanks…means a lot.” You truthfully tell him while you swallow back the heartache and love threatening to spill over.
“He’d also say you’re a fuckin’ stubborn thing for not askin’ for help.”
You snort at that.
“Well you knew the old guy, it runs in the family.” You reply.
Joel chuckles.
It’s small - like the faint flash of seeing a cardinal in the trees. But you heard it, his amusement, and it’s lovely for a man quietly layered as him.
“Alright, all fixed up.”
The wrap is tight, secure, and speaks of his many times previously doing this before.
“Thank you Joel, appreciate it.” You do.
“Can't be a handyman if I can’t fix up people sometimes.” He shrugs but there’s a deadpan charm to his words you’re slowly catching now.
“Doctor and a handyman, no wonder the town keeps you around.” So you dryly joke back.
This moment isn’t much. Yet it feels like gaining a good step in the direction of something right and solid.
Gathering your things, you decide to head out. Even though curiosity claws at you to take in a few more moments being inside Joel Miller’s home, you have seeds to buy.
“Where ya headin’’ to?” Joel asks.
“Pierre’s.” You huff. “Need more parsnips.”
He hums a noise of acknowledgment.
Back outside the mid morning sun’s warmth soaks you in its gaze. Maybe you could fish for a bit before you head to the store. After all, the weather is so nice.
“Hey.” Joel barks out and before heading back on the road, you turn to him.
He’s a sight on his porch. You think of the typical romance movies of the handsome farmer trying to woo the newcomer in town and how right now he puts them all to shame.
Hands crossed over his chest, his broad shoulders seem like mountains against the doorway, so striking and large taking up the entire focus.
“Don’t hesitate to call y’hear? Don’t fuckin’ care what it is or what it’s for, call me.” Joel’s face is hardened and serious, reflecting the unwavering tone in his voice.
Something heated crawls up your throat and makes you dizzy. You blame it on the blood loss.
“Besides, s’what neighbors are for, right?” He adds a bit awkwardly.
It hits you. He’s the closest homestead to you. You are neighbors with him.
“Alright will do, promise.” You nod and mean your words.
“Thanks again neighbor.” Those words tingle on your lips.
Joel nods and with that you head out.
You’re on such a strange high you simply float straight to the pier and fish. It’s comforting being among the crashing waves, the sea breeze, and the wonderful weather. You also think of your gramps and Joel here.
But by the time the sky starts to turn into a ripe tangerine you realize in horror you forget to buy more seeds.
You almost scream in anguish when you find Pierre’s doors locked. Accepting momentary defeat, you head home.
When you reach your porch, there against the steps a bundle of parsnip seeds and a small pack of bandaids sit waiting for you.
- ☼ -
Your hope to quietly enjoy the egg festival, your true first event here in the valley, is diminished when Mayor Lewis practically drags you into the egg hunt saying it’s a rite of passage.
His deadly polite politician smile said there was no way you could worm your way out of participating. So you simply start the hunt thinking of the strawberry seeds you can’t wait to plant once this is over.
You’re not overly competitive, but these eggs are getting harder to find. You want to finish at least with some dignity.
Besides the area around Stardrop Saloon you scan every inch like a hawk. Someone coughs, clearing their throat, and it catches your attention.
Under the shade of the building, nursing a cold drink, Joel slightly turns towards you.
Now instead of a hawk you feel like a surprised field mouse caught in his gaze.
Without saying anything Joel flickers his eyes a couple of times towards the corner of the building. Is he giving you a hint?
Heading to the spot his eyes vaguely guided you to, you discover a colorful egg.
You almost want to keep it as proof this happened. Joel helped you.
By the time the egg hunt ends everyone already seems to be packing up and the mysterious Mr. Miller has vanished from the commotion.
Abigail wins the egg hunt and you aren’t even upset. In fact you walk home feeling like a champion.
The next morning on the help wanted and errands bulletin board in town you spot Joel’s name. Below it is a request asking for a small pack of wood.
You readily answer it and drop off the bundle eagerly, a way to help pay him back for everything.
The pretty decent payment he gives you is nice but the crooked soft hint of a grin on his face when you arrive to deliver the request is worth iridium.
A few days after that he mails you a recipe. The letter is so simply Joel - a straightforward recipe then a scribbled JM below it. You hang the letter up proudly on your fridge.
Spring blooms more and more before your eyes.
You decide to take advantage of it by foraging for the day.
“Where y’heading?”
You’ve been taking the long way to the forest these past few weeks in hopes of seeing him again. Now that you’re not actively avoiding him, you discover, small town or not, Joel is a surprisingly busy man.
When you catch glimpses of him, instead of glares being thrown your way, Joel Miller simply nods acknowledging you. Comforting as it is to know he doesn’t outright detest, you don’t like how much you hope to run into him more.
Now he’s here sliding on his backpack while moving to lock his gate.
“Just heading to the forest, gonna forage and walk around for the day.” You answer him.
“Works out, hafta head that way myself.” Joel explains falling into step besides you.
Alone with Joel Miller once again.
The small talk comes - asking each other how your days have been, anything new or interesting happening. The heat is starting to pick up announcing summer’s close arrival. Thankfully it’s still not unbearably hot as you and him fully enter the woods.
Cindersap forest is tranquil. A beautiful glimmering evergreen haven you enjoy simply strolling through. You never thought you’d ever be here with Joel.
“No new crops coming in?”
“Nothing exciting.” You shrug. “I’m more upset that I didn't plant any tulips this season.”
“Those your favorite?” Joel asks, surprisingly curious.
“Not mine, my gramps.” Your memories of the farm might be hazy, but you always remembered fresh tulips in the kitchen.
“They’re for the fairies.” Gramps would tell you with a wink.
You were bummed after realizing Pierre had flower seeds and it was too late to see them bloom in your kitchen.
“Damn,” Joel sighs. “Ain't your fault. Pierre’s an ass and hides all the good shit, flower seeds included.”
You’re almost positive Pierre doesn’t do that, but you burst out laughing.
A giddy twinkling glee consumes you and fills you buoyant. He’s trying to comfort you in his own Joel way. And it’s dangerous how fast you’re growing to enjoy the company of this grumpy cactus of a man.
You move to snag a few dandelions and wild horseradishes. You make a face at one that smells a bit ripe and decide to leave it for the forest.
“You can eat those y’know.” Joel comments.
“Yeah so I’ve heard.” You tried your first ever daffodil this month. “A wild horseradish might be a bit too much right now though, but who knows. Maybe one day I’ll try ‘em.”
“My kid used to eat these all the damn time. Never took a likin’ to ‘em myself.” Joel grumbles kicking the disposed horseradish.
Kid.
“You have a kid?” You ask curiously.
Joel blinks to you and there’s a gleam in his earth eyes of something reserved slowly revealing itself.
“Uh… yeah. A daughter. Ellie.”
A daughter. He’s a dad.
It fits him in a way that you never would have expected.
“She doesn’t live here?” You ask but then quickly apologize for pressing the subject. Joel waves you off, casual and unbothered.
“She did, just graduated highschool this year. Wanted to do the whole college deal. She lives out west now.”
So he’s an empty nester.
Delicately, wanting to know more about him and his daughter, you ask about her.
Joel inhales deep then exhales slowly, as if an immovable weight on his shoulders rattles deep to his bones.
“She’s a headache, my Ellie.” Fondness trickles out of Joel a steady stream.
“Stubborn, damn near impossible to argue with cause she’s so fuckin’ smart. Got a good heart. Good head on her shoulders too, wants to be an astronaut.”
“An astronaut?! That’s incredible!” You exclaim in brilliant excitement.
Like the proud dad he is, adoration tugs at Joel’s lips.
“Yeah, been wantin’ to be one for years. That’s why she’s going to school.”
“She sounds incredible, Joel. You must be proud.” You earnestly tell him.
“I am…” His voice is thick, and you don’t miss the way his eyes gloss over distant and misty.
You decide not to press the subject any further. He instead does it for you.
“She loved livin’ here until the damn flower festival rolled around. Then she’d swear up ‘n down about how much she hated this town and was gonna leave the second she could.”
The flower festival is just days away. The town swirls in a controlled chaos for its arrival.
You laugh warm. “I’m guessing she’s not a fan of dancing.”
“Takes after me.” Joel nods.
“Ahh…so guess that means you’re not asking anyone to dance this year.” You comment lightly and Joel snorts.
“Ain’t danced with anyone in a very long time.”
A wistful ace now twists your heart thinking of Joel alone in his home, alone watching the others in town pair off.
“You gonna ask anyone?” Joel turns the question around to you and you almost choke on an inhale.
Not wanting to get flustered or react wildly you focus on the wild springs among the lush forest.
“Uh no. Don’t think anyone wants to dance with the newbie in town. Which is fine.” You answer.
There are lovely and gorgeous people in town. Some have caught your eye. However, you didn’t feel brave or interested enough to ask anyone to dance. And no one seemed intended to ask for your hand in the dance, and you find you’re not too upset about that.
Joel hums low, a sign you’re catching on means he’s listening without having to reply much.
“Hopin’ someone will ask ya to dance?” That question takes you by surprise.
You shrug not wanting to fully answer the question either.
Someone suddenly calls out to Joel from behind. At the edge of the forest leading back into town stands Maria, the town’s legal counsel and assistant mayor.
“Caught playing hooky, busted.” You snicker and Joel scoffs.
Maria yells out Joel’s name again.
“Can you come back to town and help us with something? Thought you’d be at home seeing how it’s your day off today. I’ve been trying to call ya but nothing went through.” She yells.
The service here in the forest was awful compared to the town, a hard lesson you’ve learned quickly.
But you also don’t miss Maria’s comment.
Joel had today off. Yet he decided to stay a bit with you. That thought has teeth and you can’t stop their bite from sinking into your heart.
Joel groans but doesn't hesitate to head towards where the assistant mayor stands. Maria of course spots you and a wonderful grin lights up lovely her face.
“It’s good to see you.” She calls out.
“You too!” You reply back thankful your voice is level.
Joel glances over his shoulder to catch your eye.
“Good luck foragin’. Don’t eat any weird shit.”
You sputter out a squawk at his casual comment.
“Next time I see you, I’m giving you a wild horseradish!” You playfully snap the ridiculous reply before you can even stop yourself, but Joel thankfully rolls his eyes unbothered.
Maria’s eyes however flicker curiously between you and Joel. Too many emotions heat up your skin now. So bidding Joel and Maria a quick goodbye you stomp back into the forest to continue foraging.
Now along in the woods, your thoughts still think of Joel. The bag of parsnip seeds, the bandages, and the recipe, come to mind. You never once discussed any of it with him or him with you. It’s something you keep locked in your heart, just like today will be.
Soon the day melts into early twilight. You snag a couple of dandelions and a few other forageables before deciding to head home.
Joel’s farm house looms quietly still with no lights. You can’t bring yourself to open the gate to his farm and walk up to the house.
So instead you place a few dandelions along with a nice fresh large wild horseradish on top of the mailbox by his gate then head home.
Even when you unwind for the night, you mind still feels like it’s snagged on Joel Miller, still there with him foraging in the forest.
- ☼ -
The flower dance, as strange of a custom as it is, is rather ethereal. So many vivid floral arrangements decorate the space with dynamic colors and the air even smells fresh.
The flower dance honors the legacy of celebrating the final days of spring. But it also is a celebration of love blooming.
“It has roots dating back to fertility rituals.” Demetrius, ever the town scientist, told you while you were chatting with him and his wife.
He was right of course. The flower dance is the opportunity for someone to extend a hand of romantic feelings towards another. Those who hope to participate in the couples dance, or possibly win the crown of Flower Queen, are dressed in glorious attire. Soft light fabrics and flowers woven into crowns create a scene conjured out of a fairy’s kingdom.
Compared to the others in lovely attire with flowers in their hair, you didn’t even dress up or change out of your messy dirt covered jeans. And the only flowers in your hair are actually twigs and leaves from cleaning up more of your property.
With no need to worry about someone asking you to dance, you instead simply enjoy the various foods prepared for the occasion.
“Be careful, the salsa actually has a pretty good kick.” You’re about to go in for a second helping when a gentle accented voice floats out to you.
Besides you is a man with the kindest eyes you’ve seen. Faintly you recognize his face and can recall seeing him around town.
“Tommy Miller.” He reintroduces himself seeing your slight hesitation and your eyes go big.
“Oh, Maria’s husband!” You fully remember her introducing him to you. But now something else clicks.
He’s Joel’s brother.
“Yup.” He grins proud at his wife’s mention.
You apologize profusely for not remembering him sooner and with a kind understanding smile Tommy reassures you it’s fine.
“Been a busy first month for ya, I get it. You’re a tough cookie handlin’ it all.”
Even though his twang mirrors his brother’s, Tommy already radiates a much different energy than Joel. He’s warm in a way that reminds you of a soft summer day welcoming everyone with his vibrant energy.
You thank him earnestly. “The town’s been good to me.”
A part of you wants to add Joel has been good to you. Weeks ago, you would’ve laughed at just the idea of Joel Miller showing you an emotion other than annoyance. But now you and him seem to slowly be warming up to each other.
“Don’t go stealin’ all the good stuff, y’little shit.” Joel arrives with a gruff grumble of a voice and quickly nudges Tommy.
Yet his eyes remained glued on you.
You also seem to notice how striking Joel looks in the crisp light jean button up shirt he wears.
“Speak of the devil… was just about to ask our new farmer here if ya haven’t scared her away yet.” Tommy jokes.
Joel’s face flickers with a scowl fighting to form but he keeps himself surprisingly composed.
Guilt sinks in your gut. You know he’s hard to read and you even feel bad for thinking he’s mean. Because you’re learning fast Joel is earnest in his own way.
“Nah,” you tell Tommy, answering for yourself and Joel almost. “His sheep are actually scarier than he is.”
Tommy busts out laughing and you grin. Your eyes flicker to Joel but see he isn’t grinning. Instead Joel’s handsome aged face stares at you guarded and you can’t read the emotions shimmering in his eyes.
Shit.
You might have overstepped and upset him. So to physically stop yourself from saying anything else you take a bite out of the delicious cornbread on your plate, wave a weak goodbye to the Miller brothers, and scurry away.
Now alone under the shadow of one of the lovely cherry trees, you’re aware of how new you still are, a fresh bud still trying to foster roots in this new ground. You wonder how your gramps dealt with this every year.
Soon enough, the music starts and Mayor Lewis claps excited ready to begin the dance.
At least this will be over soon.
The couples slowly sway to the soft melody then rustling arrives at your side. Gently your eyes turn to the source and you almost collapse seeing Joel move in besides you.
His eyes though stay on the couples dancing among the blooms.
“Could’ve at least picked better music to dance to.” He mumbles bored.
Your lips press hard trying not to smile ridiculous and wide.
“Could you imagine if someone played the wrong song?” You whisper back. “Like, some heavy metal rock song suddenly started screaming out?”
Joel snorts, masks it with a few coughs, but you did it. You made him laugh.
Golden soaked triumph fills you and it feels like the first morning you woke up and found a sprout peeking up from the dark tilled soil.
He’s a complex man and you’re barely even scratching the surface of him. But it’s a tender start you want to continue kindling.
For all the commotion and production given to the festival, the dance only lasts a few moments. It’s over thankfully fast.
“Bit anticlimactic.” You mutter under your breath.
“Yeah it’s dumb.” Joel deadpans.
Your lips fight from letting out a laugh.
Everyone claps joyously at the couples concluding their dance. You wonder, even as silly as this is, if one day maybe you’ll dance with flowers in your hair. But you don’t give that thought too much attention. Just imaging yourself next spring already seems so far away.
“Headin’ home?” Joel asks, pulling you out of your thoughts.
You hum, narrowing your eyes at the gorgeous meadow.
“I’m kind of tempted to maybe see if I can steal some of the leftovers but yeah, I’m heading back.” You reply.
“Tell me which food you’re eyein’ and I’ll grab it. No one will tell me no.” He offers and you laugh.
“Tempting as that is, I’m just gonna go home.” You wish Joel a warm good night.
He continues walking alongside you.
Your heart jumps until you realize he lives in the same direction. The chatter from the festival still lingers in the air even while you walk further away from the meadow.
“How do you deal with that every year?” You ask with a sigh.
“Alcohol.” Joel dully answers and you snicker at his reply.
“Maybe one day you’ll be dancin’ out there.” Joel comments like he’s trying to continue the small talk. But the suggestion makes you skin itch for a reason you can’t pinpoint.
You only reply with a simple ‘maybe’ and a shrug.
“I’d pay a hundred bucks to see you dance though.” You joke, but also quickly imagine Joel a picture of softness with a flower behind his ear resting beautifully among his silver curls and it makes your knees weak.
Joel however rolls his eyes.
“Next year we’ll just sneak in and take over the music. See what happens.” You offer.
“Now that sounds like a plan.” Joel agrees gruffly.
It sounds like a promise.
You bid him good night until his eyebrows crinkle so classily grumpy Joel.
“Whadya doin’? Ain’t lettin’ ya walk home alone, sprout. Now come on.”
He continues walking as if nothing while your mind tries to recover being tilted on its axis for a bit.
Joel is walking you home.
And he called you sprout.
You want to cradle this new nickname so tenderly in your hands.
Joel quietly asks about your plans for the upcoming season, almost as if he’s trying to keep you focused.
To settle your flutter heart, you manage to ramble about the new incoming seeds you’ve heard about. You talk about your hopes of going to the beach more, not just to fish but to simply enjoy the ocean.
Among all that discussion, in a blink you’re back at your farm.
Instead of Joel rushing home, he lingers.
He checks your porch almost like he’s making sure the thing still stands.
“Hope one day to see that dang greenhouse up ‘n runnin.” He points to the broken greenhouse and you can’t help but sigh at the sight. You hope so too.
Then Joel moves to stand next to you on the land.
It feels different seeing him here.
Just a few weeks ago he was shouting every profanity known to man trying to fix your ancient water heater. He also glared at you the entire time.
Now he stands next to you suggesting on what to grow for the upcoming season.
“You could plant the tomatoes over on this side, give ‘em more shade to grow.”
Joel already reminds you of a back alley cat, one that hisses and refuses to let others near until he decides when to warm up to others. And, like a fresh new sprout, you want to soak up this warmth of him up.
“Also… Don’t forget to plant flowers.” He adds with a soft grumble.
“I won’t.” You grin impressed he remembered.
When you bid him goodnight and thank him again, you almost want to promise you’ll stop by with coffee tomorrow morning.
However that feels too much, like you might make the wrong move and spook him. But you do want to know if he makes it home okay. You can’t even bring yourself to ask him for his phone number.
So you watch Joel leave until your thoughts move fast and you blurt them out.
“Wait how will I know you made it back?”
Joel suddenly stops then glances back to you.
A very soft twinkle comes over his face and he gives you a crooked grin. It colors him with such a boyish expression. This new face of Joel feels sacred, special, and it steals your breath away.
“Hang outside for a bit. I’ll give ya sign, don’t worry.” He nods then melts into the darkness.
You stay frozen on the spot, not wanting to miss whatever it is. You wait, hoping he makes it back safe. Then out from the darkness, far down the path, you see it.
A light from Joel’s house blazes alive.
Then it flickers on and off, like someone flipping the switch a few times. The movement of it against the darkness even feels like a wave of some sorts.
You wish so badly to wave back.
Reassured that he’s home, you head back feeling as light as a feather.
Stepping onto your porch, something catches your eye.
Resting on the main railing barrier are a batch of tulips that were not there when you left.
Your heart jumps into your throat. You didn’t even see Joel place them there.
Delicately placed, the tulips so brilliantly colored sit warm and bright for you - the most beautiful end to your spring.
Though, in your heart, these blooms feel like something closer to a beginning.
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fortheloveofwonderland · 11 months
Text
Me & You & Everyone We Know | Chapter 16 | S.R
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Chapter Summary - Spencer confronts Daisy over her behaviour and a fight ensues. JJ and Maeve help him to navigate the intricacies of life as a teenage girl.
A/N - Spencer loses his cool with Daisy in this chapter. He is still learning, please bear with him. He’s getting there.
Pairing - Single Dad! Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader
Category - hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending, smut minors DNI.
Warnings - more use of the term “bitch”, arguing, angry Spencer, angry Daisy, lots of talk of puberty and periods, talk of therapy and antidepressants.
WC - 5.2k
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Chapter 16 - My Little Girl
When you were in trouble, that crooked little smile could melt my heart of stone.
Now look at you, I've turned around and you've almost grown.
Sometimes when you're asleep I whisper "I love you" in the moonlight at your door.
As I walk away, I hear you say, "Daddy, love you more”.
Spencer was so angry he couldn’t even speak the entire drive home. He let Lily ride up front because she was too scared to sit next to her sister. She held Taco in her arms, nuzzling her face into his fur. 
When they arrived home he carried his youngest up to bed, read her a story and kissed her goodnight. Taco stayed with her, curled up under her arm. 
When he padded back downstairs he hoped Daisy would be smart enough to have put herself to bed. But he was proven wrong when he found her awkwardly sitting in the living room. 
He didn’t look at her as he continued to the kitchen, wishing more than anything right now that he could have a drink. He grabbed a glass and poured himself some water, leaning up at the counter and staring out into the dark yard. 
He heard her footsteps getting closer and he braced himself against the counter, not wanting to turn around and face his eldest daughter.
“Dad?” Daisy’s voice was low and croaky and held a hint of fear to it. 
His nostrils flared and he sipped the water in the hopes of helping calm himself.
“Don’t.” He replied without turning around. “Just don’t. Go to bed Daisy, we’ll discuss this in the morning.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt her.” Daisy continued regardless. 
Spencer’s back stiffened and he placed the glass down on the counter louder than he’d meant to. 
“Go to bed.” He repeated, not even trying to hide his annoyance from his voice. 
“I don’t want to.” She pouted and he could hear the dejection in her voice.
He exhaled noisily through his nose before he finally turned around and glared at her. She stood on the other side of the kitchen island with her arms wrapped around her body. Her bottom lip quivered and her large blue eyes watered. 
“Daisy, I don't particularly care what you want to do. I am your father and I am telling you to go to bed.” His voice was husky, the anger not very well hidden. 
Daisy’s eyes somehow widened, she’d never heard him like this before. 
“I’m sorry.” She sniffed. “I’m really sorry but she was being a brat!” 
“She is seven years old!” Spencer snapped, raising his voice and slamming his palms on the marbled island. “You are double her age, you should know better. If she’s annoying you, you walk away Daisy. There is no excuse for pushing her or calling her a bit…that word.” 
“Oh you mean that word you call mom? Even Lily’s heard you call her a bitch.” Daisy scoffed, her previous sadness seemingly vanishing. 
“I am an adult, I’m allowed to use that word. And I’d appreciate it if you and your sister would stop eavesdropping when I’m on the phone.” He shook his head in frustration. 
“Mom is a bitch! And so is Lily.” 
“Daisy,” he spat so harshly he saw her back go rigid and her arms fell to her sides. “You will not, I repeat, you will not use that kind of language while you live under my roof. Especially towards your mother and sister.” 
“Jeez dad, it's not even that bad of a word. I know way worse.” She clucked. 
“Daisy, you do not want to test me tonight.” He growled. “Go to bed and wake up with a better attitude. Tomorrow you will apologise to your sister and you are grounded and have no phone privileges for two weeks.” 
“What! No way! You aren’t taking my phone.” 
“Watch me.” He spat, rounding the counter and coming closer to her. 
She whined and tried to move away while he reached inside her jacket pocket and pulled her phone out. 
“That’s not fair.” She huffed, watching him stuff the device in his own pocket. 
“Life isn’t.”
“How am I supposed to text Cameron now?” 
“You aren’t! That’s the point.” He rolled his eyes.
His temples started to throb, an incoming headache. That was just what he needed.
“So I met a boy I like and I can’t talk to him but meanwhile you can date half of goddamn Virginia?” She yelled at the top of her lungs.
“Excuse me?” Spencer’s eyes bulged at his daughter’s words. 
“Oh please, you think we don’t know about you and Cam’s mom?” Daisy scoffed. “Seriously, do you just date anyone now?” 
“Bed. Or I swear to god Daisy…” he didn’t exactly have an end to that sentence so he trailed off, feeling the ache in his head rapidly growing. 
“What? What will you do dad? Send me to live with mom?” She rolled her eyes, folding her arms over her chest again. 
“Well that’s the best damn idea I’ve heard all night.” He bit back. “Maybe I will.” 
Of course it was just an empty threat, he would never actually send Daisy to live with her mother but he thought maybe it would be enough of a scare to stop her behaving like this. 
“You would not.” She huffed. 
“Maybe she can knock some sense into you. I don’t recognise you right now Daisy. I don’t know who you are becoming. But it’s not my little girl.” He turned his back on her, leaning up against the sink again. 
“You’re right, I’m not your little girl. I’m not your pumpkin anymore dad. I’m fourteen years old, I’m not a little kid like Lily.” She yelled but he refused to rise to it anymore for fear of what he may say. 
“Go to bed, Daisy.” He sighed. 
“No.” She stamped her foot in defiance. 
“You know what, fine.” He turned back around with a shrug. “Do what you want. I’m too exhausted to fight with you.” 
He moved past her into the hall and started up the stairs. Daisy watched him go, feeling downtrodden. 
“Dad, I-”
“Please,” he cut her off, waving a dismissive hand. “Don’t push me, kid.” 
Daisy let him go, her eyes watering a little. She’d wanted to get a reaction out of him and that’s certainly what she’d gotten. But she didn’t feel good about it. 
She heard his bedroom door close and she quietly crept upstairs to her own room. She fell to the bed and pulled her knees up to her chin before she started to cry. 
***
The tension in the Reid household the following morning was enough to make anyone want to drink. 
Lily wasn’t talking to Daisy and in return Daisy wouldn’t talk to Lily. Daisy tried to talk to Spencer but Spencer barely replied. 
It was Saturday and they were supposed to be going to a BBQ at Rossi’s but Spencer was in no mood and Daisy was grounded so she wasn’t going anywhere. 
He’d called JJ to let her know and she’d offered to take Lily with them to the BBQ. Thinking it might be easier if the girls spent a little time apart, he agreed. 
Around midday JJ, Will and the boys arrived to pick her up. Will took her hand and helped into the back of the car. Lily beamed brightly as she slid in next to Michael and the two quickly started chatting to one another, whilst Henry tried to ignore them. 
Spencer stepped out onto the porch and closed the front door behind him. 
“I’ve never known you ground the kids.” JJ frowned lightly. 
“I’ve never needed to. She was…I didn’t recognise her JJ. I hate this teenage crap. One minute I’m her best friend and the next she hates me.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know how to raise a teenager.” 
“When Daisy was born you knew nothing about looking after a baby.” She reminded him. 
“But I had Maeve.” 
“Fine, but you’ve been basically on your own with them for over a year and you’ve been doing just fine.” 
“Is Henry like this? Or is it just a girl thing?” He ignored her. 
“My answer is not going to make you feel any better.” She shrugged. 
“So it’s a girl thing.” He rolled his eyes. 
“He’s moody sometimes, but I guess on the whole he’s pretty good.” 
“I’m in over my head, Jennifer. I don’t know if I can do this on my own.” 
“Yes you can.” She placed a gentle hand on his arm. “You can because you have to. She’s going through a lot, Spence. You remember how hard puberty was right? Well guess what? It’s twice as hard for girls. Her body is changing, in crazy kinds of ways, I imagine she’s starting her period, or at the very least will be soon. She’s noticing boys and she’s having all these new feelings. I’m afraid you need to cut her some slack.” 
Spencer frowned, leaning back up against the wall.
“A little while ago sanitary products started appearing in my bathroom. I assume Maeve gave them to her. Do you think she talks to Maeve about that stuff? It’s never really occurred to me before.” 
“I guess so, but Maeve’s the one you’d need to speak to.” 
“Boys would have been easier.” He whined. 
“You’ll be fine, Spence.” She chuckled lightly. “Just cut her some slack, ok? And talk to Maeve.” 
“My favourite activity.” He rolled his eyes as JJ started down the stairs. 
“I’ll see you later.” She smiled, offering him a wave.
He waved back before doing the same to Lily who was waving at him from the back seat of the car. He waited until the car pulled away before trudging back into the house. 
He went straight up to his office, ignoring the music blasting from Daisy’s room. He shut himself inside and started up his computer. He put his phone on the desk, looking down at it as the computer booted up, contemplating JJ’s words about speaking to Maeve. 
He stared at the blank screen before shaking his head and turning back to the computer. It could wait. 
He opened his emails and sifted through a few before he came across one sent a few hours ago from Doctor Maria Sanchez. His stomach coiled into knots as he opened it. 
Dear Doctor Reid, 
Thank you for completing our pre therapy questionnaire. I would like to arrange a call with you to discuss your therapy needs further. I have free office hours Monday to Friday between the hours of 16:30 and 18:30. Please let me know the best time and day for you and we can schedule a call.
Regards,
Doctor Maria Sanchez
He read it over a couple of times, nodding his head whilst he did so. He replied to let her know he was available any day between those times. He looked through a few other emails before turning his attention back to his phone. 
It really wouldn’t be a difficult feat for him to call his ex-wife, all he needed to do was unlock the device and find her contact. But in practice it was proving a lot harder than it needed to be. 
He stared at the phone for almost ten minutes, before out of nowhere it started to ring, startling him so much he actually jumped a little in his chair. 
And the strangest part was the name on the screen.
He swallowed thickly and picked up the phone, placing it to his ear.
“Maeve, hi.” He frowned to himself. “I was actually just thinking of calling you.”
“You were?” Her confusion was evident in her voice. 
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I kind of got into it with Daisy last night. Luke and Garcia were sitting the girls and I had to pick them up early because Daisy shoved Lily and called her a bitch repeatedly.” 
“Oh, that doesn’t sound like Daisy.” 
“I know. When we got home she just kept pushing my buttons and we fought, I’ve never fought with her like that before.” He sighed yet again. “But I spoke to JJ and she…uh, she thinks I need to talk to you.” 
“What about?” Maeve sounded sceptical. 
“Puberty in teenage girls.” He cringed at his own words.
“Ah,” Maeve’s voice had a hint of amusement to it.
“A few months back I started noticing boxes of sanitary products in the bathroom. Should I have talked to her about it? Is that what a dad is supposed to do?” 
“She came to me,” Maeve smiled down the phone. “I think I’ve got it covered since I’ve been there.”
“Right.” Spencer nodded. “And all those other female hormone things? The changes? It’s not all dissimilar to male puberty but there are certainly some variations.” 
“We’ve been through it, Spence, don’t worry. I know you like to think of yourself as a lone wolf but I am still her mother. Puberty is hard for anyone, I guess she’s acting out because of it. I know I gave my dad hell when I was her age.” 
“Super,” he sighed. “Do I talk to her about it? Would that help?”
“I think that would do more harm than good. Trust me when I say a girl does not want to talk to her father about her period or growing breasts.” 
“Oh jeez, I don’t even like hearing it coming from you.” Spencer groaned. “Boys, we should have had boys.” 
Maeve started to laugh, a real easy laugh. It may well have been the first time he’d heard that laugh from her since they broke up. And to both of their surprise, Spencer started to laugh too. 
“Whether we’re together or not Spencer, you have to remember we are still a team. I can cover those kinds of things, while you can stick to the educational stuff.” 
“Sounds good to me.” He agreed, feeling oddly at ease talking to her. “Sorry, you called me and I kind of accosted the conversation.” 
“It’s ok.” Maeve was still smiling, he could hear it in her voice. “I wanted to ask a favour actually.” 
“A favour?” He sat forward, eyebrows knitting together.
“Kind of.” She paused briefly. “Bobby and I were going to go out to California in the next few weeks to visit my family and I really wanted to take the girls. We were only going to go for a week, but if you already have plans with them or you just don’t want me to take them then that’s fine.” 
“Yes,” he was quick to answer. “Yes, I think you should most definitely do that.” 
“Seriously?” 
“Yes,” he repeated. “I haven’t always been fair to you but I think spending the week with you, going to California, would be great for the girls. I think it sounds like a wonderful idea actually.” 
There was a long stretch of silence and for a moment Spencer thought she had hung up. 
“I’m sorry, I think I must have dialled the wrong number. I’m trying to get hold of my cranky ex-husband Spencer Reid?” She teased, making Spencer roll his eyes.
“Don’t push your luck.” He smiled to himself. “Take the win, Maeve.” 
“You’re sure you are ok with this? Because I don’t want to book the flights and then have you change your mind.” 
“I’m sure. I swear I won’t change my mind.” 
“Thank you Spencer. That really means a lot to me.” 
“Please don’t get sappy.” He rolled his eyes and Maeve laughed.
“Ah there he is. That’s the Spencer I know.” She giggled. 
“I’m hanging up now.” He scoffed. 
“Bye Spencer.”
“Bye Maeve.” 
He hung up the phone and for the first time in over a year, Spencer didn’t feel weighed down after talking to his ex-wife. 
If anything he actually felt lighter. 
***
The next week went by without much of an incident. His house sale was moving, albeit slowly and Daisy being grounded meant he didn’t leave the house much, giving him time to start packing up his home. 
Luke came by twice to carry out more training with Taco and the girls enjoyed having him around. On Thursday he stayed for dinner but while Spencer was cooking his phone rang. 
Luke waved him off, telling him he couldn’t finish up with the preparations and Spencer went up to his office to take the phone call. 
He was gone for almost a half hour and when he returned he looked exhausted. Luke didn’t mention as much in front of the girls. 
They ate and it was up to Luke and Lily to carry the conversation as Daisy still wasn’t speaking to her dad and Spencer’s mystery phone call had clearly thrown him through a loop. 
After dinner the adults did the dishes while Daisy and Lily watched TV in the living room. Luke was eyeing Spencer curiously.
“So, who was the call from? You’ve been really quiet ever since.” He leaned against the counter while drying a plate.
“A therapist. My therapist I guess I should say.” Spencer sighed. 
“You’re seeing a therapist? I didn’t know.” 
“I haven’t yet. My first appointment is next week. The doctor just wanted to have a talk, she thinks I might benefit from medication.” 
“Antidepressants?” 
“Yeah,” Spencer nodded. “I thought I had a handle on everything, but taking medication seems like admitting that I don’t.” 
“It’s ok not to have a handle on everything, Spencer.” Luke moved closer to him, placing the plate on the draining board. “You have two kids, one of whom is a teenager. You’re a single, working dad, you’ve been trying to put yourself back out there and that’s not easy at the best of times. Sometimes asking for help is the bravest thing you can possibly do.” 
“I���ve been thinking about that a lot,” He nodded. “I’m contemplating…just contemplating, nothing has been decided yet, but the idea crossed my mind that maybe I might consider having mine and Maeve’s custody conditions reevaluated.” 
“Reevaluated?” Luke cocked an eyebrow. “As in…?”
“Joint custody. Equal time with the kids.” He chewed on his lip.
“Wow,” Luke didn’t hide his surprise. “Wow, that’s huge.”
“It’s just an idea. I haven’t decided on anything. But it would make my life a hell of a lot easier if I allowed myself to lean on Maeve a little more. I forget what an amazing mom she is sometimes. And I’m no superman, I can’t keep shouldering everything myself.” He pushed his hair back off of his face.
“You sure you haven’t been to therapy already? Because you sound like a man who has been going to therapy.” Luke chuckled. 
“I’m trying to broaden my horizons.” He rolled his eyes as Luke nudged him in the arm. 
“I’m proud of you, man.”
“Oh stop.” Spencer scowled. “Can we talk about something else?” 
“Sure,” Luke picked up another dish and started drying it. “How are things with Blair?” 
“We had one date,” Spencer shrugged. “I haven’t had a chance to see her since. We spoke on the phone once but we’ve both been busy. The girls are going to California with Maeve next week so maybe I’ll see her then.” 
“Hmm empty house and the girls will be out of state so they couldn’t possibly cock block you this time.” Luke suggestively wiggled his eyebrows. 
“I believe it was technically you who cock blocked me, as you so eloquently put it.” 
“It was either that or let your daughters kill each other.” Luke shrugged. “What’s up? You don’t seem all that excited about this woman.” 
Spencer grumbled under his breath, sometimes wishing his friends didn’t know him so well. 
“She’s great, really. Beautiful, funny, smart. She’s a single mom with a bad history with his her ex, she gets me in a way no one else ever has.”
“But?” Luke cocked his eyebrow curiously. 
“But she’s not Y/N.” Spencer shrugged. “I feel like I’m trying to force a relationship with Blair to help me get over Y/N but it’s having the opposite effect.” 
“Don’t be the asshole that uses a nice woman to deflect feelings from another.” 
“I’m trying. I think I could really like her.” Spencer rolled his lip between his teeth. “And is it so wrong that I’d really like to get laid?” 
Luke chuckled, shaking his head and slapping Spencer across the arm. 
“You are human after all.” Luke winked at him as he finished up the dishes. 
Spencer rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help but chuckle. 
***
He knocked tentatively on the door and waited for a response. He didn’t receive one. He knocked again and still didn’t get a reply so he pushed the door open. 
Luke had left a little while ago and Lily was in bed. Spencer had been trying to read in his office but he couldn’t focus on the pages. 
He’d stood outside of Daisy’s room for ten minutes before he finally knocked. 
He found her sitting on her bed with her legs crossed, a book cradled in her lap. When he entered she closed the book but she didn’t speak. 
“Can we talk? I’m kind of sick of this silent treatment now.” He asked and she simply nodded. He moved across the room and sat down on the edge of her bed. “Can we call a truce? I miss talking to my favourite girl.” 
Daisy rolled her lip between her teeth in contemplation and shrugged her shoulders. 
“I’m sorry about our fight ok? But you can’t treat your sister that way. You can’t treat me that way. Look I know I am the last person you want to be talking to about this but it recently occurred to me that you are going through a lot of…changes.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. 
“Gross dad, don’t.” Daisy pulled a face. 
“Your hormones are going crazy and you’re-”
“I beg of you to stop, please.” She cut him off. “I have mom to talk to about that stuff.” 
“All I’m saying is I understand.” He placed his hand on her knee. “Believe it or not I was a teenager too once. Puberty sucks. Most of all for me. I was so much younger than everyone in school and I didn’t understand why all the boys' voices were getting deeper and why they were growing hair in places I wasn’t.”
“Ew.” Daisy wrinkled her nose. “I do not need that image in my head.” 
“I was talking about my armpits and my legs.” Spencer rolled his eyes. “And I didn’t have a dad to talk to about any of it. And I could never talk to my mom because she was barely lucid. I didn’t understand why I was so different. When my voice did start to break I was so confused. I just need you to know that you can talk to me if you want to. Obviously I’m a man and I don’t quite understand everything you’re going through but I can try.” 
Daisy looked away from him, still chewing on her lip rather aggressively. 
“I get these…cramps when I’m…you know. Really bad sometimes and I don’t know how to stop them.” She was blushing and refusing to look at him.
“Ok, well exercise can help that, which I know doesn’t sound ideal but even a brisk walk can help release endorphins which change the way the brain processes pain and can make the pain feel less intense. We can get you a hot water bottle, that will help increase blood flow which in turn loosens the muscles that are contracting and will relieve pain. Warm baths can help relax your muscles too.” He started spouting off. “Will you tell me next time you’re in pain? I can help.”
“Ok.” She nodded. 
“And if you need any products or anything you don’t need to get your mom to buy them. You’ll tell me if you need anything?” 
“Sure.” She nodded, looking back up at him. “There is one thing I need.” 
“What is it, pumpkin?” He squeezed her knee encouragingly. 
“You mentioned hair growing…” her cheeks reddened and she slowly rolled up her pants leg revealing some little blonde fluffy hairs growing on her shin. “I only noticed it recently, when we were at the pool I heard some girl mention it. I don’t think Cam noticed but I’d be mortified if he did.” 
“I will buy some razors next time we go to the grocery store.” He smiled gently at her. 
“I might need you to show me how.” Her cheeks flushed a darker shade. 
“I mean I don’t have much experience shaving legs but I’m pretty well versed in shaving my face so I’m sure we can figure it out together.” He chuckled. 
“Thanks dad.” She suddenly threw herself into his arms and he caught her with ease, wrapping her tightly in his embrace. 
“You’re welcome, pumpkin.” He kissed the top of her head. 
“And I’m sorry I was a…B word.” 
“You weren’t a B word. You were a little rude and next time you talk to me like that you will never see this again.” He pulled back so he could retrieve her cell phone from his pocket before handing it to her. 
She stared down at the device, a large smile blossoming on her face. 
“Thank you, dad!” She grinned, clutching the phone like it was a stuffed toy. 
“It does come with a condition.” 
“What?” She frowned at him. 
“You’re going to California with your mom and Bobby. You leave Friday for a week.” 
“A week? With mom?” She whined. 
“You’ll have a good time. You’ll get to see grandma and grandpa.” He nudged her in the arm. 
“You’re cruel.” She pouted. 
“And I’m also your father so what I say goes.” He shrugged. “You’ll have fun. You can go to the beach. You like the beach.” 
“Can I see Cam before I go?” She continued to pout. 
“I’ll see what I can do.” He pushed himself up from the bed. “Daisy, you said something the other night and it kinda stuck with me.”
“I’m sure I didn’t mean it.” She was already plugging her phone in to charge. 
“But you said it and it’s been bothering me.” He sighed. “Do you have a problem with me dating? Because if you do, I don’t have to.” 
“I want you to be happy.” She shrugged. “But I don’t think Cam’s mom makes you happy. Y/N did. What happened to her?” 
“You’re too young for me to answer that.” He pulled a face.
“Gross. For the record I will never be old enough to hear about your sex life.” 
“Daisy!” He gasped. “That is not what I was getting at. Jeez, I miss the days before you could talk.” 
“No you don’t.” She giggled. 
“Go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” He chuckled. 
“Love you dad.”
“Love you too, pumpkin.” 
***
“Thanks again for doing this, you really didn’t need to take the afternoon off of work.” Spencer spoke as he ushered Daisy and Lily inside the cute single story Virginia home. 
“Oh you know how it is. When the man you’ve been on one date with calls you up and asks you to look after his kids for the afternoon, I just couldn’t say no.” Blair smirked at him. 
“Is it super weird that I called?” He pulled a face. 
“It would have been less weird if you’d called more than once since our date or maybe even asked me out again. But it’s fine.” She shrugged. 
“I have every intention of asking you out again. My ex is taking the girls to California on Friday for a week and my schedule is wide open.” He smiled at her. 
“I’ll see if I can fit you into mine.” She smirked again. “So what is this emergency?” 
“Work thing.” He waved her off. “My friends are all FBI Agents and they’re away on a case, otherwise I would have asked one of them to watch the girls.” 
“Your friends are FBI Agents?” She raised an eyebrow at him. 
“Yeah, did I not mention I’m ex-FBI?”
“You did not.” 
“I’ll tell you all about it on our next date ok? But I’ve really got to go. I shouldn’t be long.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek before he was quickly dashing back down the path, calling back over his shoulder, “be good girls, I won’t be long!” 
The last thing he’d wanted to do was bother Blair with this but with the BAU team away and Maeve and Bobby both at work he didn’t know who else to ask. 
He’d tried to move his first therapy appointment until next week after the girls left for the west coast but Doctor Sanchez’s books were full, she’d only gotten him in so soon because Tara had said something no doubt. 
He was incredibly nervous as he drove across town to her office, not knowing what to expect if he was honest. 
Before long he found himself being introduced to a middle aged woman with dark eyes and hair that was greying around the roots. 
She led him in and offered him a seat on the couch while she sat in a chair opposite him.
“It’s nice to meet you Doctor Reid.” Doctor Sanchez smiled at him. 
“Call me Spencer,” he threaded his fingers together in his lap. 
“Ok Spencer,” she mirrored his position, maybe to try and put him at ease. “So I would like to start by asking what brought you to therapy.” 
That was a loaded question. 
Spencer exhaled, eyebrows knitting together as he focused on what he wanted to say. 
“Well, my wife and I split up about a year ago. She was having an affair for a long time. It’s only been recently that I’ve started to let myself express my own feelings over the divorce. I have two girls and my main priority was protecting them from everything. I tried to start dating and in the process my residual feelings towards my wife kinda came to the surface.” He exhaled again.
“Ok that’s a good start,” she smiled encouragingly. “Let’s start from the beginning. When you and your ex-wife first met. What was that like?” 
“Uh…she was a one night stand.” He toyed with his hands. “Or I mean, she was supposed to be. She got pregnant with Daisy, my eldest, she’s fourteen. Maeve and I got married before we had a chance to fall in love.” 
“I see,” Sanchez nodded. “And you were married for…?”
“Thirteen years.” 
“A long time.”
“I suppose so.” He was chewing nervously on the inside of his cheek. 
“So you said you’ve only recently allowed yourself to feel the weight of her affair?” 
“Yeah. I told everyone, including myself, that I was ok because I was never really in love with her. I tried to pretend I was just angry that she hurt our daughter’s. But I did love her. And I guess I’m finding it hard to reconcile how I can still be in love with someone who hurt me so much. And also how I can be in love with someone else at the same time.” He frowned, looking down at his hands. 
This was going to be a long and bumpy road, he knew that much to be true. But he was at the very least trying. 
And sometimes that’s all we can do. 
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fandomfluffandfuck · 11 days
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Have you seen the movie gifted? It never fails to make me cry, Chris does so well in it and so does Makena god that girl knows how to act.
Honestly one of my favourite movies to date, father daughter duos are my fave. Chris acting as a parental figure is so sweet!! And who doesn't love a rough exterior guy who's good with kids.
It always loops me around to thinking about Steve having a kid dropped on him and having to navigate being a father, maybe a one night stand turned baby mama 9 months later who wants nothing to do with a baby.
Steve would be such a good dad too, I know he'd want the best for his kid. He'd have a big freak out initially and struggle but once he gets used to it a bit more he just loves it. He loves his kid and he knew that as soon as he laid eyes on the kid but now he actually has time to sit and just FEEL it. His little baby has his eyes and it makes him want to sit and cry.
One winter soldier saga later, Bucky is back and finds out Steve has a kid, maybe 2 or 3 at this point. Bucky is nervous staying with Steve while he's healing to begin with but with a kid in the house? No way. Steve manages to wrangle him to stay and Bucky and the baby actually form a little bit of a cute connection.
When Steve and Bucky find their romantic side again and Bucky is free from the hydra shit in his head, they really form their own little family. And god the domesticity of it all makes me want to cry and sob and cry. They'd both be such good dads and sooo protective, the best protected kid around I'm sure you can imagine.
I can totally see Steve and Bucky being the type of parents to be anxious messes when their baby starts school and their kid is as confident as ever, not even looking back as they run off to find friends.
Ragggh it just makes me wanna cry.
Parent Stucky for life 💔💔‼️‼️
I haven't seen Gifted (note my tag "watch? party?" lol). But, from the clips/gifs on Tumblr, it seems really sweet and like, yeah, they both do wonderfully in it!
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Even though I haven't seen it, it's still wild to me whenever I realize just how old McKenna is now, haha. Like, she's still acting, but most often, because I'm not an avid consumer of movies/TV/series, I come across her in the music scene and like... when did this little girl turn into a teenage punk rock icon? 💀💀
I love it.
"And who doesn't love a rough exterior guy who's good with kids."
I have no idea! I don't even want kids personally, or really like kids all that much (I didn't grow up around younger kids and so they're a total mystery to me, lol) and it still gets me, lmao. Especially when it's Chris and/or stucky.
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Steve would be such a good dad, yeah!! He'd take after his mama and be great at it <3 Definitely an adjustment, too, but he can handle it.
"He loves his kid and he knew that as soon as he laid eyes on the kid but now he actually has time to sit and just FEEL it. His little baby has his eyes and it makes him want to sit and cry."
AW
I am so amused by the idea that Steve either continues to have accidental children with one night stands because, one, that's just funny to me, two, how carried away can you get, wouldn't you learn your lesson after one misstep, no matter how much you love your baby, wrap that super dick up, Steven, and, three, not so funny, but I can actually see that happening because if this is canon Steve, why would people stop at trying to steal his blood? They'd probably also want his super serum babies, too. Then, maybe it's not that he's forgetting to wrap it before he taps it, but those pretty gals are poking holes in his condoms, acting as more heads of HYDRA 👀
So, my addition to this is me saying more kids. Not just one. By the time Bucky shows up, I want him to have two or three, haha. Like, Bucky is so fucking confused. He's like, there is one child... okay, there are two?... wait. THREE?! STEVEN, I TOLD YOU TO NOT DO ANYTHING STUPID UNTIL I GOT BACK. WHY DO YOU HAVE THREE OFFSPRING. AND--w-without me? 👉🏻👈🏻
Oh my god, though, yeah, Bucky is reeling from that. He doesn't know what to make of it. He is very much refusing at first, but I think it would end up being really good for him.
Besides, it's cute. Steve feels very, very domestic with a kid (or two) and Bucky in his house.
Exactly! The domesticity! Just their little family. Adorable <3
Oh, for sure, they're anxiety ridden parents. They both got to therapy ('cause god they need it), and they go to therapy together, and their therapist is constantly, gently reminding them that they shouldn't be so overprotective or helicoptering their kid(s). Like, sure, it's logical for the kid(s) of Captian America and The Winter Soldier, but it's only logical to a certain extent. Their baby needs to be able to have alone time and develop their own independence, too. They're teaching their kid(s) and learning themselves, too.
If you're still in the mood for kid fics, might I suggest:
"Setting: In A Honeymoon" by me
and
"you will always be my favorite form of loving" by thiccbuckybarnes
and that's it because I don't normally read kid fics myself, haha
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Text
SOS: Poison In My Mind (Pt 1)
PLAYING NOW: Season 2 of SOS: AM I ALIVE
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“We met in the worst circumstance possible, but yet, even if we had to meet in different circumstances, I’d still fall for you.”
SUMMARY. A series of events following the aftermath of the break in/hostage situation has everyone feeling tense. The Zhong family is torn with disappoints, from Yezi deciding that she wants to keep the rape baby, to Dae leaving the family wanting something else from her life. With months and years treading by, the family is met again in uncanny situations with the same old boys who can’t seem to get away from them.
PAIRING(s). Delinquent!Mark, Felony!Haechan, Boyfriend!Jeno, Brother!Renjun; Policeman!Jaemin, Jisung; Husband!Chenle, Boyfriend!Jaehyun X OC Dae, Yezi (original character)
GENRE. Angst. Longshot. Slow burn. Crime. Strangers to lovers. Smut (non-consensual/consensual). Family.
WARNINGS. Drugs abuse (Alcohol, smoking, marijuana, cocaine, heroin). Sexual content (consensual, child abuse, pedophile). Slow burn (unlike the first book filled with edge and action, here’s a more toned down and summary filled action after the aftermath, lots of convo.)
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S2: EP1-7 The moment the judge hits the gavel, Dae unknowingly lets out a sigh of relief. Laying her head against her dad's shoulder, some tears pouring out of her eyes causing her to hiccup, sniff and fall into a breaking emotional state. Her dad, Chenle hugs her tightly. He feels such an overwhelming amount of pain. He doesn't even know what to say when he watches the police handcuff the boys and makes them line up against the opposite doors, preparing them for their new prison life.
Dae gets her head off his shoulder and with her eyes smudged in tears and nose running just as badly, her face red and voice barely above a whisper. "Dad, I can't breathe," She hiccups terribly struggling to say.
Chenle is attentive and assists her up as he navigates her outside of the Court room. With his arms around her shoulder, he walks with her steadily and his eyes peer around trying to find a specific door, which was right next to the court room. Entering into the room whereby his wife and Yezi are, his heart grows heavy upon seeing Yezi in a similar dreadful position crying her soul out.
Yezi upon seeing her dad gets up as well and runs into her dad's arms. Chenle holds tight, embracing them generously the same way when they cried that he and his ex-wife were splitting. His lips kiss the top of their precious heads just as his eyes shut by the overflow of tears bluring his vision. His daughters sadly crying only causes his heart more pain that as their father he couldn't protect them against the evil of the world. Chungdae, Chenle's wife gets up slowly and makes her way towards her family. She moves behind Chenle and back hugs him, her own tears building up.
Yezi and Dae stretch their arms in sync backwards to wrap around Chungdae. No matter how much she was reminded of being their step mum, no matter how much she fought with Yezi, no matter how much Dae was nice to her without actually allowing her to know her real feelings, and no matter how much Chenle tried to always make her feel a part of his family even though deep down she knew she had a long way to acceptance with the whole family, right now being here with them somehow feels like a new level of depth.
The fact that she cut her trip half way- once her plane landed and Chenle called her to tell her the details she booked the next flight back- and came to serve as support for the girls as well as her husband who continuously blamed himself. It's like she had unlocked a new sacred bound with each and every one of them- although it was because of a traumatic experience, she’s somehow happy to feel included in their suffering of the moment.
Chenle loved his kids, and as Chungdae loved his kids as her own only made him love her more. And right now, as Chenle has all the loves of his life around him- it only tears him down more. If only this was a much pleasant occasion instead of a horrifying one.
Meanwhile, in the courtroom similar feelings and emotions are being done. However, it's only directed at Renjun and his mum.
Renjun is an incoherent speechless dreadful mess as he’s plunged in tears. He wants to shout and cry out loud but he can't even express his overwhelming pain as his own physical state hurts him with every move he makes causing him so much discomfort. All he does is sink his head into his mother's shoulders and shudders as the tears furiously plunge out of his one good eye.
His mother with immense loving arms tightens her embrace- shielding him from the emotions of right now. Her scent sips into his nostrils and despite the ache, he appreciates this comfort which in all his life has always sought out for. The sincere and dear love of his mother. Her heart shreds due to how she failed to protect her son from the boy she gave birth to. Her eyes have sprinkles of water, and her head throbbing with the new forming headache from holding in a load amount of tears. From the moment she took in this lost little Chinese boy as her own son, for the first time in her dark miserable life she could say that she had hope. To see her hope of a son bearing his soul out for a crime he did not commit, stains her soul of feeling like a failure again. She failed with her first son. But right now, she didn’t want it to be the case of her second son. And so she holds in her voice of agony, of pain and whispers with strength. "You're going to be alright okay? I'm not mad at you. You did what was right and I swear it’ll all pay back some day. It looks dark now, but I promise you Renji that…everything will work out.” Her eyes let out some tears before she sniffs. “I promise that I’ll be waiting for you when you come out. Don't be scared my boy, be brave in there. Don’t let them break you. You are my hope and I know this world doesn’t deserve you, but come back to me in one piece okay? I love you so much Renji, so so much you have no idea. Just stay strong for me okay?"
“Okay,” Renjun hiccups out trying to hold it in but the devastation is too much to bear.
Standing in line behind Mark, Donghyuck watches vulnerably.
It pains and even hurts to see his mum in tears and wrapping all her love upon Renjun. Even when the guards break them apart and Renjun gets back in line behind him, he prepares himself for the hug that he knows his mum always gives. He's expecting for his mum's love and attention, even though she might be angry at him, Donghyuck knows that she always gave the best hugs of comfort.
But when she looks at him…
Donghyuck is only able to make out the look of humiliation. Disappointment. And so much sadness as though she’s failed with him. In her eyes that were so full of adoration and affection for Renjun, he gets her capital look of sadness as she covers her mouth and closes her eyes filled with tears and turns away.
Donghyuck sucks in a sharp breath, his glossy eyes stinging from how much tears he's holding back. He gets pushed out of the court room by the police and he follows them to a waiting room. Upon waiting they get taken in for their final prints. Still with cuffs around his wrists, he’s aggressively assisted in getting his finger prints inked and pressed on paper. He does his signature, gets a court mug shot and then initially given a see through plastic bag of a blue standard prison uniform. Mark gets the same color.
Yet, upon seeing Renjun walk out of the prints room with a bag of orange prison clothes… he can't hold in his tears. Renjun sits on the other side of the hallway but still in front of Donghyuck, when he sees that his older brother’s shoulders are sagged so low and he hears sounds of anguish, sounds of agony, does his heart remind him of how much he’s put up with Donghyuck. All he wanted was to be his brother’s friend and getting to know his brother. Unfortunately, trying to get to know his brother would mean becoming him and that’s not something Renjun ever wants again. And so, also silently he weeps again out of his one good eye.
Meanwhile Jeno and Mark have such emotionless looks towards one another. Unlike the other bags, Jeno’s see through bag had a green prison uniform. Mark is so distorted to reality and unfazed with his brother that when Jeno gets ushered out by a new guard he finds himself speaking. “Good luck bro,”
Jeno, in his own unfazed and worn-out actuality mummers. “You too.”
In honesty, for Jeno everything was one big blur. The fact that it was night and he was in the car with his brother, to somehow him waking up in a hospital 3 weeks later with minor burn patches just chaotically threw him off everything he knew as reality. And then he hears that he’s being charged with breaking and entering into a wealthy mansion. It’s the most absurd nightmare he’s ever woken up from- everything was one big drunken blur of memories popping up here and there, but he has no recollection of actually living in those memories. To say he was beyond confused was an understatement. He was just numb yet puzzled that all this happened. All he remembers is being drunk and waking up in a hospital bed weeks later.
The one thing he can remember lividly, was when he entered into the girl that he has admired, when he entered her room and saw his brother forcing her to mouth fuck his crotch- that felt like something he would never ever be able to forget. That is a spare moment that he can’t get out his head. So walking into a prison statement with the least amount of knowledge of why he’s being sentenced, Jeno sucks it up and follows.
Donghyuck can’t stop stifling his cry at this point. Even if his voice is low, Renjun and Mark can hear it. Although it’s awkward for Mark, for Renjun it’s a painful and pitiful reality that shit hits hard. Donghyuck’s eyes are shut, as painful reminders of how he not only disappointed his mother and brother, but he also proved Yezi’s words to be true. The words of her telling him how worthless he is. Because truly, he feels like a worthless, filthy, cheap, vain, unlucky, useless, pathetic, miserable and pain for his whole family.
Donghyuck is in tears and can't even say anything when they take Renjun away to his respective bus leading to the county jail center. Renjun can't even say anything when seeing Donghyuck's head hung so low as his shoulders shake and light sounds of grief in emotions are heard from him. In fact, in this moment where he looks at his brother…there’s a slight mounting anger of how he should’ve never tried so hard to get his approval in anything. Donghyuck never ever cared about him. And as he leaves the court and gets into his bus, a slowly fueling hatred grows in him.
It’s only left Donghyuck and Mark in the corridor as they wait for the arrival of their bus that would probably be filled with returning criminals going back to the same prison. At this point, Donghyuck knew the cycle all too well.
He knew that there would be new second time offenders, old gang cliques who committed hard crimes, gang members who’re coming in to deliver a message to one of their old boys in prison, crime offenders who somehow always get away with petty charges instead of life sentences and lastly the guys who had nowhere else to go but prison…and so committing a petty crime to be charged at least 5 years would satisfy their life- these were the people that Donghyuck knew were going to be with him. Donghyuck knew of the type of people he’d see again, and how ecstatic they’d be to see him. Prison life was his home. The only home that welcomed him with open arms every time, with ‘friends’, people who protected him, the officers who alarmingly treated him ‘well’ and the all-time shelter and food that was provided to him each and every day.
If anything, he should’ve been happy to be going back to a place of ‘rest’, but there’s a weight on his chest that’s anchoring him down, there’s a heavy burden on his shoulders that’s sinking him. The fact that it’s not a thought but it’s now his reality. He always joked that one of these days he’d come back as a rapist, but now the dawning weight of his reality sets him in such a dark hole. He has added onto his record something that once hurt his mother. He has added onto his record a pain that’s deep and unfathomable, something that would define him as an ‘experienced criminal’. Donghyuck shudders and blurts out another cry as he sinks his head in between his hands. His own mother couldn’t even stand to look at him. Donghyuck feels so shut out right now. Enraged at himself for being such a fuck up. He can’t believe that he crossed over to a side he’d never thought himself of crossing.
When he feels the harsh hand of the guard, he knows that this time as he’s going to prison it won’t be the usual years of rest, but instead a commencement time of guilt and punishment. He deserved punishment for all that he’s put his family through. For all that he’s put everyone that he has hurt through.
He sucks up his tears but keeps his head down with his jaws locked. Unlike getting in the bus and always going to the back and greeting the old timers who joyously call unto his name- he takes the front seat close to the window. Mark, not obliged to follow, feels in him that his partner in crime isn’t himself and so he takes a seat next to him after acknowledging some of the returning inmates. Mark seated beside Donghyuck feels uncomfortable but can only endure it. Donghyuck has his head against the window his head pining on him. It doesn't sit right with Mark and all he can do is lay his hand upon the ladders shoulder. He had no words because he didn’t understand why he was moping.
Donghyuck can't take his eyes off his mum as she stands outside waving her hand towards Renjun's bus. She's crying, holding onto some tissue papers and looking defeated. Donghyuck's eyes sting when he sees her crouching down still in tears.
She used to look at him like that. She'd cry for him like that. But now she can't even stand to look at him.
As the bus begins moving out the court parking, Donghyuck’s eyes unconsciously catches onto the news crews and reports all withering and surrounding the court as they try to get to the ‘Zhong’ family. His eyes don’t mean to, but they go to the girls who are rushed into such a high class, superior and posh maroon looking car.
It all started with a car, an envious yet spiteful car that seemed in hands reach and just for him. A car that was a whole Pandora’s box. If only Donghyuck could go back in time, to the time that stupid spoilt car carrying those fucking high social brats passed his own rusty faded red car, if only he could go back and peal his eyes off that car and to his brother who only wanted to go home. He would’ve never lusted over the car if he knew what he knew. He would turn to his brother and agree to just take him home- far away from the lives of the rich people. Far away from the life of chaos. And far away from the life he was living.
After a decent and mouth sovereign dinner in a luxurious five-star restaurant, Chenle and his family quietly went back to their respective rental guarded home whereby their new life would begin.
Sitting around the living room, Chenle explains that the insurance company that insured their house will finish in about a month's time. But he wanted to know whether or not they felt safe moving back into that neighborhood or wanted a new place.
It's basically nonnegotiable for them all as they all want a change of scenery. Ever since the incident, the Zhong family were the communities most talked about family for (not only) the outrageous verdicts that the boys got, but also for how 4 lowlifes managed to break into such a secured residential area and well-guarded home. Few of the neighboring families moved out immediately, while others were already preparing to move out, most enhanced their security, so it only made sense that the people in the area didn't feel safe and were contemplating on leaving or staying.
"Another thing we need to address," Chungdae starts, laying her hand on Chenle’s knee, sensing his hesitancy. "Yezi,"
"Yes?" Yezi nervously squeezes Dae’s hand having an idea of what the conversation would be about.
Chungdae silently sighs looking at Chenle before focusing her attention on her step daughter, who had sadly and traumatically become pregnant but had said nothing ever since the confirmation at the hospital. "It's been a month and some days since you've been pregnant-"
"I know." She counts the days every day. "Can we not talk about-"
"And every time we bring it up you try to turn it down. Chungdae has got some pills you can take now to neutralize the thing moving in your stomach. Tomorrow is Wednesday and we’re taking you to the hospital to get it removed." This time Chenle speaks, his voice not too welcoming as if he has an idea of what his 16-year-old daughter is thinking. "If you're thinking about keeping it you can forget it."
Yezi's head strikes up at her dad with wide saddened eyes. She sits on the edge of her seat with prompt and firm lips. But the thing that speaks most to Chenle is the look of fortitude, of resilience of some sort of willpower. "Dad-"
"Absolutely not.” Chenle springs back in distaste of high disgust. “Not in my house. You are not-”
“Dad you didn’t even give me a chance to speak-”
“Speak about what?” Chenle’s got his eyes bulging out of his socket. “This is not a discussion we’re having. You’re going to remove-”
“No!” Yezi suddenly cries back and gulps back holding in her tears.
“You can't tell me you've been seriously thinking of keeping that damned thing-"
"Dad-"
“Yezi that’s enough!” Chenle never yells, but when he does it catches everyone off guard. “Have you gone stupid?”
“Honey-”
“No have you gone mad? Retarded maybe? Yezi this is not up for discussion. You will not have that thing grow in you!”
“Why? It’s my-”
“Have you fucking gone retarded-”
“Dad this is my child!” It takes Chungdae holding Chenle back by his arm when he shoots up from the couch, while Dae holds tightly onto Yezi’s hand when Yezi bursts out in franticness. The tears now streaming out. “I’m not going to remove it. It’s mine.”
“Yezi,” Chenle and Chungdae both call out in a morphed sadness filled with disappointment.
"Yezi," Dae calls in bafflement. Ever since the accident, they hadn’t left each other’s side. Their bound had never ever been like this before, whereby they hardly spoke to each other yet felt distant in their experiences- but at the same time they wanted to protect each other, they wanted to love each other more than ever. But not even Dae could understand the sudden twist and burst of emotions from her little sister. "You want to keep it?" Dae asks quietly.
With the question hanging in the air and all ears attentive to Yezi, while their brains are in astonishment of the seemingly new revelation, Yezi presses her hands to her stomach and nods her head slowly. There's a long pause in the air causing Yezi's heart to beat rapidly and she's afraid to look up. She already knows what her dad will say, what Chungdae will say, what Dae will say, but she doesn't care. “I want to keep it, I need to keep it.”
There’s such a strong tensed silence that moves around the room. Chenle’s chest is mounting with such boiling anger when looking at his daughter.
“Why?” Chungdae asks in confusion, distress and fear especially when feeling her husband’s hand bulging. “Yezi-”
“No.” Chenle's ‘no’ serves as a mind snapping effect for Yezi.
She looks up to her dad with tears in her eyes, her jaw trembling. “Dad.”
“No.” Chenle is firm when saying his final verdict. It doesn't matter that Yezi full of sadness attempts to speak- Chenle doesn’t want it. "No. You are not keeping it. No daughter of mine will-"
"But dad-"
"I said no Yezi." Chenle shakes his head again trying to calm himself down. "You're not keeping it. You're not keeping that bastard of a child. You are going to take the pills now and tomorrow-"
"Dad I'll never forgive myself for killing it-"
"Forgive yourself? You're not at fault here." Chungdae adds with confusion seeing that Yezi shakes her head and seems determined. "And it's not alive yet, you're not killing it. You're removing it."
"Mum please." Yezi sits on the edge of her seat looking desperate. “I can’t do it. I can’t go on with allowing this little thing in me to die. I don’t have the heart to go through with the abortion. I would never forgive myself-”
“For fuck- Yezi!” Chenle can’t believe what he’s hearing. From the corner of the room, the little Daegal is quivering and shivering by the uproar of Chenle’s voice. “No-”
“Dad you’re not carrying this so you don’t understand.” Yezi finds herself breaking free from Dae’s hand and standing up with her arms covering her womb. “You don’t understand how long it took me to get to this point. I’ve thought about it ever since I found out. I will keep the baby. Not because I am excited to have it, but because I don’t want to kill it. I cannot square it with my conscious. It's also a living being and has a right to life, and I shouldn't decide whether it gets to live or not. I don’t have that right and it’s heartless and inhumane even thinking about taking away-"
As Yezi hits nerve after nerve Chenle is so close – a pinch away from forcing his daughter to have no choice, the words that she’s saying only make his blood boil. Her words render Chungdae silent as her thoughts are suddenly on her past mistakes. Not only Chungdae, but Dae as well knows that whether it was intentional or not Yezi was hitting on and referring to the reason her parents split and that was because of Chungdae and her ‘babies’.
“Do you know what pain I’m feeling at just the thought of giving it up-”
Dae can feel the tension slowly rising in the room, and if Yezi didn’t choose her words correctly then most assuredly she would be in big trouble. “Yezi-”
But Yezi’s already so hot with her words and can’t back down as she speaks over Dae shaking her head. “What if I’ll never get a chance like this again? Huh? Living with you and Chungdae is proof that after so many abortions- I won't ever get a chance like this”
Chungdae feeling jabbed shakes her head. “That’s not- Sweety please let’s not-”
“You can't even give birth anymore because of all those abortions you’ve had while having an affair with my dad behind my mum’s back. You both took the right away and now you want me to make that same fucked up decision as-”
She’s not expecting the rough hand of her dad gripping onto her wrist and dragging her with such force and strength. “Honey please-” Chungdae has to suck up her pride and wipe her eyes when trying to follow Chenle.
“Where are those pills?”
“Honey please let’s just sit and talk-”
“No.”
"No?" Chungdae follows rapidly behind Chenle who busts opens into different drawers around their room while Yezi yells for her dad to let her go. “Honey please, she’s crying and-”
“Where are the pills?!”
Chungdae is taken aback at Chenle shouting when directing his attention to her.
“This is my daughter! There’s no way in hell will I ever allow her to even consider keeping that thing in her womb! It’s not hers and we’re not raising that thing!” Chenle’s jaw locks when his eyes take notice of the sullen look plastered over her features.
“That ‘thing’ was in my womb too, and I…” The look of guilt coats Chungdae’s face, dampening his mood when seeing how teary and weary eyed she gets. At this point it’s by instinct how he always tries to wipe the tears off her eyes before they fall off. Letting go of Yezi instantly just so he can attend to Chungdae only leaves Chungdae in a remorseful crying mess as she covers her face with shame. “If I hadn’t had all those abortions then maybe we would’ve been… I would’ve been able to give you the child you wanted-It’s all my fault, I’m sorry honey-”
“No, no.” Chenle’s voice simmers down into a low tenderly octave when hearing how broken and crushed his wife’s cry is. He walks carefully towards her, his hands holding onto her shoulders looking just as vulnerable. “It wasn’t your fault. Don’t do that baby, don’t,” Straightaway he wraps his arms around her securing her from the emotions that have resurfaced. “Baby… we made that decision t-together. It’s not your fault.. You didn’t…I don’t blame you at all my love. Please, don’t cry,”
“Yezi’s right-” Chungdae whimpers, not being able to stop the tears as well as remove her hands from her blotched crying face.
“She’s not right, don’t listen to her. She will not disrespect you like that and-”
Chungdae shakes her head, knowing exactly what Yezi meant. Chenle would never understand what it’s like to live with that conscious memory of having done an abortion, only for it to affect everything years later. He would never get it because he refused to come to terms with the fact that she took away the one thing he was really excited about, and that was to have kids with her.
The first few times when they found out she was pregnant was in their mutual decision to remove baby after baby in hopes of Chenle’s former wife not to find out, but after the cat got out the bag and Chenle came clean to his wife of his affair did Chungdae unintentionally decide to remove the baby thinking that this would’ve been the last time she’d see him ever again. Little did she know that it would’ve been the last time she’d ever be able to conceive again.
Her tears are all over the place, loud enough for Dae to even hear. Upon seeing Yezi frantically walk towards the door- Dae stops her. “That was a low blow Yezi. Did you really have to?”
“But it’s true.”
“Just because it’s true it doesn’t give you the right to just bring stuff like that up. You know Chungdae is sensitive to -”
“She’s sensitive because she fucked up-”
“You think you’re not being a fuck up right now?” Dae yanks Yezi by her arm when she opens up the main door. Forcing Yezi to look at her they both look at each other intensely. “Look, I probably don’t have much of a say in you and wanting to keep it but don’t drag mum down-”
“You keep forgetting she’s not my mum,” Yezi rips her arm away from Dae. “And plus. I already spoke to mum- our real mum. She said I can keep it.”
Dae has a puzzled almost annoyed face. “You’ve been talking to her? Yezi do you even know-”
“Just because she used dad, and you didn’t get along with her doesn’t mean she’s not my mum anymore. She’s still a mother to me, I love her more than I ever did you and dad, she’s still my mum and she gave me enough clarity to decide for myself.” Yezi doesn’t look hurt, but her eyes do look somber upon talking about her mother.
Dae can only try to breathe in as she finds the right words to say despite her anger slowly rising. “You’re forgetting that she’s the one who cheated first and asked for that divorce not dad. She’s the one who left us for her new free life. She didn’t take us with her because she didn’t want us- so what could she possibly tell you about child birth that would make you consider even keeping that thing? The mother that I know would’ve never even allowed you to keep a rapist’s child.”
“It’s not a rapist’s child, it’s my child. And do me a favor, stop pretending like I'm the fuck up. I know that Mark did something to you too.” And with that Yezi opens up the front door and bangs it. She has no real destination when leaving the house- all she knows is that she needed to clear her head. It’s past 10pm and she doesn’t even-
“Going somewhere?”
She stops, being startled for a second. Standing by a black vehicle, she spots the Officer Na Jaemin. “Officer Na,” Her gaze being fazed by his presence. “What’re you doing here?”
Jaemin simply stares at the girl. “Patrol work. Your father wanted tight security while being here in the rental house.”
“Tight security by yourself?”
Jaemin shifts his weight a little displaying the black tinted window of the car. He knocks twice on it, causing the window to roll down displaying a shy smiling Officer Jisung. “Yes?”
“Jisung and I are here, there’s two at the back, two on each side, and two at the gates. We’re tight if the time calls for it.” Jaemin points out. “Once again, are you going somewhere? If so we’ll escort you.”
Yezi shakes her head. “No, it’s fine.” Being pissed by the sudden securing of protection she walks back the path to the house but stops midway with a nonstop chaotic mind and walks back towards the Officers. Jisung’s window is rolled back up while Jaemin has his head down within his padded jacket. He blends in so well with the car being black and everything he has on being black- including his hair.
“Officer,”
He peeks up again, and Yezi can see that under his eyes there’s faint marks. He looks tired. “What.” He doesn’t seem the least bit interested in what she has to say, all that he wants to do is sleep.
Yezi however pants in and out looking like a fish caught in water. “I… I want to keep it. I want to keep the baby that’s growing in me.” Yezi’s eyes water. “But I don’t want anyone to hate me for it.”
Jaemin can stare as his ears adjust to the words coming out of her mouth. “You… Did you just say you want to keep it?” How old is she? It’s probably the reason she’s even outside, maybe she wanted a clear head to think better. And if so, Jaemin had to stop her because he was the wrong person for this type of conversation. “Should I call your dad?”
“No-” Yezi shakes her head before hanging it down with trembling lips.
“Look, I’m only 23. I’m a male. And I’m not a part of your family, so you can’t just tell me all these things,” There’s nothing that he could say that would be of any assistance to this girl who’s 16…7 years younger than him. However, when she doesn’t move and her shoulders shudder, he grows uncomfortable in his padded jacket and inwardly cusses. He was always the worst when it came to giving some sort of relief. He turns his head to the car just in time seeing Jisung look away.
After a long silence, it takes Yezi blurting out a little cry does Jaemin breathe out his nose and licks his lips looking at her. Yezi tries to contain herself by remaining silent and sniffs back her tears (which made Jaemin feel tight in place) while wiping the back of her sleeve over her eyes. She doesn’t look up, but her body turns around and she begins walking away. It only takes a few steps before Jaemin’s voice comes out. “I can listen.” He speaks out. “If you want to… talk,”
If she came outside, it’s because she most likely had an argument with her family. And the last place she probably wants to go is inside.
That makes her stop in her tracks, and ever so slowly she peers up into Jaemin’s eyes. He looks nervous and almost worried. Nervous to the point that he even stands straighter and gets his hands out his padded jacket. “I don’t think I’ll be of any use,” He shrugs his shoulders scratching the back of his head. “But, I can listen,”
Yezi turns her body around in a slow manner, her eyes are slightly teary but upon gazing into his sincere eyes does she fully turn her body around to face him.
“So,” Jaemin clears his throat uneasily. “You want… to keep it?”
“Yeah,” Her voice is low and shaky. “We were in the hospital with my mum and dad, and they did an ultrasound.” A gloomy look gets on her crestfallen face, but Jaemin’s eyes are on the watery glaze that coat her eyes making them crystal clear as if they’re twinkling. “On that screen I saw… this tiny little dot. This little pea in me is so small… when looking at it, I felt something come alive in me again. I remembered thinking that, I couldn’t protect myself, you know.” She sniffs and her hands gently cup her abdomen. “I fought and I really tried to stop him from touching me. I fought so hard and I tried. I tried but… there was nothing I could do. So looking at the screen, seeing that there was something moving in me, that this tiny ball was moving around as if it already had life… I knew that even if I couldn’t protect myself, I could protect that baby, because it’s my baby. It’s coming from inside of me, this little pea will somehow become something, will somehow bare it’s own life.”
Jaemin blinks slowly no expression on his face except an honest concern for the girl. “You want to keep the very thing that’s come from something so painful?”
“I don’t even like kids that much, but I don’t want to remove this baby in me. This doesn’t feel like the trauma of rape…but this is me protecting this baby,”
“Protecting it from what?” Jaemin whispers. “What’s your reason for keeping it?”
“It’s the fact that it’s a life-”
“It’s not a life,” Jaemin lowly inputs making Yezi shake her head.
“It’s in me Officer Na, I can feel that there’s something in me.” She breaths out. “Just because it’s a product from something so painful… doesn’t give me any right to take away something as precious as life from it, that’s not even born. I… Do I really need a reason in order for me to keep it? Why do I need a reason that will be good enough for anyone to listen? This…” Yezi’s eyes flattering with tears make Jaemin alert in getting his back off the car and stepping forward to the girl. “What would make me any different from a person sitting in a prison cell because they murdered another person? Murdered another human being?”
“That doesn’t count,”
“The only difference is that taking an unborn baby’s life away is somehow legal. That’s not fair.- other people can get rid of it if they want, but why is it wrong for me to want to keep it?”
“Hey,” Jaemin’s hesitant and alert when the tears won’t stop falling from her eyes. He carefully lays his hand on her shoulder and clears his throat. “Hey, don’t cry about it.”
“I just wanted some air, I just wanted a break. I don’t want my dad to take this little baby away from me,” Her tears don’t stop pouring out, resulting in Jaemin hesitantly stepping forward and wrapping his arms around the girl. He sighs quietly when she takes another step forward and wraps her arms around his torso crying out.
“It’s okay, just cry it out,” Jaemin finds himself soothing and consoling her. “Hopefully everything will be okay,” He mummers out.
But 3 months later…prior to what Jaemin said, everything was not okay. In fact, things kept falling apart.
The only thing that’s been uplifting or of any sort of good news, is the media outlets dying down and Yezi being able to continue her homeschooling with Doyoung without getting bombarded by some news crew. Another good thing that Yezi kept looking forward to is surprisingly her new ‘friendship’ with the Officer Na Jaemin. At this point, with her sister turning into somebody else, and Chungdae becoming more motherly towards her, the only person she would truly and freely chat to about everything falling apart and a way to clear her mind was Jaemin. For the most parts he only listened and barely looked like her cared, but Yezi knew better because he’d always be ready to listen to her, and Yezi found it caring that aside from getting Boba coffees for himself and Jisung, he’d also get for her as well (and sneak in some of her pregnancy cravings that Chungdae wouldn’t approve of).
But right now, it’s 5pm in the afternoon and already she can hear the back and forth arguments from her dad and Dae.
Lately, it’s become a habit of her dad and older sister fighting back and forth. Dae found refuge in going clubbing with her friends, getting wasted, getting drunk and coming back home dumb out of her mind, out of her senses... maybe it was her way of dealing with the terrible situation she faced. Dae, under the overwhelming pressure of everything; dropping out of college, being forced to work with her dad, to getting intense nightmares about being sexually assaulted that night by Mark, to getting pressured from her friends to let loose and party with them- to Dae ultimately deciding that her life is nothing but one big joke.
Slowly, right before their eyes, Dae was becoming an addict to a lifestyle that was highly frowned upon in their family. The once head strong girl of the family was crumbling and numbing her senses to intoxicating alcohol….and worst of all drugs.
And so the days go by, with Chungdae and Yezi growing their bond through their mutual love and interest for the coming baby. Going to the hospital together, seeing the ultrasound in high-frequency and hearing sound waves of the baby’s heartbeat create in Yezi a desire to keep pushing despite the pain she feels in her heart of her family falling apart. The house felt so lonely, and reminds Yezi of the first few days of how it was like when their mum left them. The house was void without a motherly touch until Chungdae came around. And up till now, Yezi without a doubt aspires to be the light that Chungdae is, smiling despite the pain and remaining strong for everyone.
Chungdae comforts Chenle whenever he lays in bed with her, she comforts Yezi in all times whenever Yezi calls, and she tries so desperately to be there for Dae- who has completely shut down. It’s hard to believe that Dae is her sister, she’s become unrecognizable in the family. It doesn’t help that slowly she started looking like a stranger, skinny form from all the intake of cocaine and alcohol, shaved eyebrows, dyed bleach blonde hair, cutting her hair so short, piercings and a slow growing tattoo kink all over her arms.
6 months later, still with their new house being built and them still living in the rental house Yezi thought their situation would’ve calmed down. However, it just got worse.
“And she keeps sleeping with random guys in the house. I feel bad that I can’t do anything to even help her out,” Yezi mutters while eating on a secret pack of chocolate balls that Jaemin bought. Jaemin, leaning against the car while watching Yezi (who is seated on the hood of his car) and dipping his fingers in the pack of chocolate balls while listening to her.
“Do you still speak to her?”
“It’s hard to,” Yezi responds. “She’s barely in the house, and when she’s in the house she’s occupied with some boy locked up in the room- but it’s only for a moment before mum or dad barge in and she storms out,”
“Damn,” Jaemin mutters. “Your parents must be the most stressed people in that house right now.” Jaemin acknowledges.
Despite not being on duty of being on night patrol, he’d always come for his weekly chats with Yezi. In some way, he ordained himself as her therapist. Maybe it’s because he wanted to simply be of help to the girl, but in some distorted way…he enjoyed having a ‘friend’ in Yezi. It was odd calling their late night talks as some sort of stress relieve, but Jaemin felt that there was no other way to describe his new found friendship with her. He didn’t have any friends aside from Jisung, but yet when it came to Yezi he found it easy to be around her and just not try to force anything. All he had to do was listen, and she’d do the rest. It became interesting when she’d do the same for him and allow herself to listen to all he had to say.
“Speaking of which, any progress with your dad?” Jaemin asks.
“It’s been months since I last spoke to him. It feels even awkward being in the same space as him. Even if there is an issue between us, I still believe that as a healthy parent he’ll discuss the problem openly with me. Silence is not a solution, but it somehow sums up my relationship with him now.” Yezi mutters and shrugs her shoulders. “He doesn’t even look at me,”
“I’m sorry about that,” Jaemin says sincerely.
“Mum says I should just give him time, that he’ll come around. But I doubt it. Whereby I would talk to him day and night, all we do now is say good morning and good night, at times we go a full day without even greeting each other.” Yezi sighs and puts her hand on her stomach, which was a healthy looking bump after 6 months. “I’m just afraid that the day I give birth to my child, my dad will- oh my god.” Yezi’s eyes grow in brightness her hand quickly pressing and feeling onto her stomach. “Officer Na-”
Jaemin is alarmed and panicked by the smile on her face. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
“Feel it,” Yezi’s mouth is left agape as the wondrous joy surrounds her. Jaemin doesn’t even need to put his hand on her belly to know that it’s kicking. The way her stomach flamboyantly moves creates a smile to grow on his face. “Feel it,” Yezi urges as her mouth grows wider in joy. “Oh my god, look,”
Jaemin is hesitant when lifting his hand since he sees that even the layer of the shirt is moving up and down from the bumps on her stomach. She’s not even focused on him, but Jaemin’s smile is radiant when seeing how happy she is. The only times he’s seen her happy was whenever they’d talk about the baby- and seeing how her face lights up makes him drawn to her smile.
“Look, look, look,” She presses her shirt down so that her bump is revealed more and so that Jaemin can see how flamboyantly the belly bulges are- the baby kicking or punching and being free with the belly of it’s soon to be mother.
“Wow,” Jaemin chuckles. “That’s a boy right?”
“I don’t know yet,” Yezi smiles and looks up to Jaemin. “Feel it,”
Jaemin lifts his hand up to her stomach and wonders where he should put it on, but then Yezi points to a spot and Jaemin gently lays his hand down. He doesn’t press or remove his hand when in a flash where his hand is that’s where he feels several bulges popping out- beating him. “My fucking soul- Doesn’t that hurt?” Jaemin is startled in shock but laughs nervously when Yezi starts laughing.
Chenle, from his room on the second floor carefully looks out the window when hearing his child laugh. He felt the most pain in him for neglecting his children. Lately, he’s fallen on his path of drinking more wine than he should. He couldn’t help it. He had two daughters who were out of his reach now, and there was nothing he could do to bring them back to him. And just like now, he can only stand and watch from afar how one laughs, while the other is nowhere to be seen but is for sure having a good time.
“Hey,” Chenle doesn’t shift his eyes off of Yezi’s smile. Even when Chungdae wraps her arms around his waist and lays her head on his shoulder. “You know it’s not too late to reconcile with her,”
Chenle sighs and closes his eyes and leans on the window frame as he lifts his arm around Chungdae’s shoulders. “I don’t think she’d want to reconcile with me,”
“What are you talking about honey, you know she’d love to talk to you,” Chungdae whispers while looking up to Chenle. “It’s all she ever talks about. About if you’ll ever forgive her,”
Despite Chenle respecting Yezi’s decision by not interfering in a forceful manner, he believed that silence between them is the only way.
“You know if she was somehow pregnant with someone she knows and wanted to keep the child at this age, I wouldn’t be as hard, but this… It’s an omen. A bastard’s child.” Chenle whispers only for Chungdae to lay her head on his shoulder.
“I know, but a child isn’t an omen,”
Chenle shakes its’ head. “Forget what the media is saying, that bastard child will grow up and will look just like the person who raped her. How do you think the child will feel knowing it’s a product of rape?”
“How do you think the child will feel in a house that’s unwelcoming?”
“It doesn’t belong here,” Chenle whispers. “It’s difficult to wrap my head around her wanting to give birth to that damned child.” He mutters and opens his eyes looking outside again. When he hears another loud laugh from her and the Officer Na rapidly removing his hands and flapping them, a meek smile grows on Chenle’s lips as he whispers. “When she was still in the womb, she’d kick like crazy. It terrified the shit out of me,”
“She needs you the most right now honey,” Chungdae whispers back before turning her gaze outside.
“And I need my daughter back too, but it’s clear she’s not coming back,” Chenle mummers. “That girl right there is going to be a mother to a bastard child, and I don’t think I want to be a part of that life.”
And so it is. The 9th month mark hitting on the calendar alerting Yezi to being ready for any day that her surprise child would come out. She’s saddened that both her dad and Dae are nowhere near her during those days. The new year passes and days progress with Yezi, barely being able to walk with her stomach on full display of the big pregnancy she has. While being small- despite the little weight she gained, she still looked so young and to think she’d bring in life to the world encouraged her to carry on.
February comes along with Yezi getting nervous that she’s not going into labor even when the month is close to ending. Already being worried and terrified, even when sitting on top of Jaemin’s car and expressing her worry- she’s not expectant at all when feeling wet and water dripping from her uterus. “Jaemin?” She nervously calls while having her eyes wide open.
“What? What’s wrong? Yezi, calm down,” Jaemin doesn’t know what’s going on when her face is drained of blood, but when she struggles to get off the car and holds unto the bottom of her stomach- looking shitless scared Jaemin takes a wild guess to know; “Don’t tell me it’s time now? Is it time?”
Yezi can’t speak or produce coherent words when she squeezes her legs together and bends trying to hold under her belly trying to maintain the weight that feels like it’s going to fall out. “Mum! Jaemin call mum! Mum! Oh mu god! Oh my god! Mum it’s coming out!” She implores when the pain kicks in her stomach.
With Chenle not being in the house and Chungdae not knowing how to drive, is panicked when hearing Yezi crying out for her life. Jaemin thankfully is alert and eager to assist when taking both Chungdae and Yezi in his car driving them. Yezi is on the verge- panting and moaning in pain in sweats and looks like any time soon she’ll faint. Chungdae is panicked and in heats of trying to calm down while also telling Yezi to breath and relax. Thankfully even despite the roads being hectic, Jaemin uses his siren and police advantage to cut the stop signs and traffic lights trying to get as fast as he can to any hospital nearby as the one they retained to was too far. It’s close, with Yezi almost collapsing in the backseat does Jaemin eventually get to a hospital carrying Yezi and lunging to the doors.
Triumphantly, the nurses don’t give them any problems and instantly assist when seeing the blood staining her pants and Yezi crying out for her dear life. Chungdae is inside the hospital room with Yezi, while Jaemin is outside reminiscing on such an experience. He’s never felt as heavy weighted as he did and hearing as well as seeing Yezi succumb to pain terrified him.
Jaemin is awakened by a jolly nurse who comes out with all smiles. “It’s a girl.”
Yezi, at 1 a.m. on a Sunday morning of late February, almost having driven herself to the brink of death when assertively pushing out of her tiny body- weighing 5 pounds and 8 ounces (2,500 grams) a beautiful miniature and petite baby girl.
Yezi is in heaps of sweat, her legs shaking in pain and uterus throbbing yet a gleeful and prideful smile lights up her entire face even when she cries after holding onto the little baby girl in her arms. She can’t stop crying for the reasons of both joy and sadness. The little, healthy, bundle of radiance in the baby girl shines so bright and takes away her family not being present. Yezi can’t believe her eyes. A tiny little thing with eyes pressed close and body rigid yet having it’s arms out and gripping onto her hair only overwhelms her, and the joy spreading all over her makes her cry blissfully.
“My baby.” Yezi whispers upon kissing the top of the fragile little head of the baby girl. “Oh my god she’s so tiny.” Yezi cries holding tightly onto the baby- and even in return as the nurses gently try to take her away to clean her up- do her tiny little fingers grip onto Yezi’s hair crying when they try to pull her away. The scene is surreal and makes Yezi cry even more.
No amount of happiness that Yezi has ever felt in her life can ever top this moment of paradise and bliss.
“Everything went well,” Chungdae smiles with tears running down her face, while watching the nurses take care of the baby and the doctors closing Yezi���s uterus. “It’s a baby girl,”
Chenle despite not being present still feels in his heart pain for the departure of his daughter upon the new arrival of her daughter. “I’m happy they weren’t any complications,” But despite it all, he still smiles when Chungdae speaks so highly and positive of the baby.
While Chungdae chats with Chenle in a peaceful manner she laughs when watching the nurses change and hand the baby to Jaemin who’s panicked at how Yezi passes out with a smile on her face.
Meanwhile, downtown (2 a.m.) in a local club that’s drowning its customers with music, Dae grinds her body friskily all over Hendery’s toned body blurring out the world around her. Ever since she walked in partly sober, all the way till she heavily inducted herself in the drinks and stashed drugs Hendery had- did she feel as though she was being watched.
Not paying mind to it, her and Hendery take it over to the co-ed bathroom having a rash and messy quickie with both of them barely conscious of their actions. Dae is sloppy when sucking off Hendery and Hendery is lacking when it comes to thrusting with power- but they’re both so high that they barely care and yet still cum to the thoughts of sexual pleasure and having a good time. They’re drunk and high out of their mind when returning back to the dance floor to have another go at wasting their lives away.
Jeno, being sober and cleaning on the counter after the spilt drinks of the dozens of intoxicated bodies, finds it hard to believe that the girl he’s looking at is the same girl he had a crush on. As time goes by, his eyes are only hooked to her in uneasiness as she’s not in her right senses and doing things that he’d never thought she’d do. From grinding with one too many men, to making out with anyone that puts their lips on her, to some point even groping and gripping on her like a ragdoll- Jeno can only watch in shock that this lady with short bleached out blonde hair, bright red bra and tight exotically short red leather skirt, dancing her life away is supposedly the same person that he saw in court 1 year ago.
There’s no way this was that same girl, there’s no way this unhealthy looking skimpy dancer is Dae. There’s just no way.
He was just in prison for 12 months, yet upon coming out and managing to get a job as a cleaner in a bar- he’s shocked out of his mind at how much a year can change a person. He only started working some weeks ago, but the moment his eyes landed on Dae and he began seeing her every single night at the club.
And for 2 weeks of Dae not being in the house, and Yezi being discharged and being the happiest she can be when being around her child, no one can take away her joy- not Dae’s messy life, not her father’s absence and lack of response to her- nothing can take the smile off her face. Even when her own baby cries.
“Areum you’ve got the most gorgeous smile, I have ever seen in my entire life, so tell me why, why are you crying so much? Is it because you don’t like your nappy being changed?” Yezi playfully plays with her child while changing the pampers and applying the medicine on her baby’s umbilical cord. Despite the baby girl, Areum crying, Yezi still coo’s cutely and playfully plays with her child while hurriedly changing her and giving her new pampers.
Chenle, who can’t stand the wails, goes into his room where Chungdae is ironing the baby’s clothes. “The baby’s crying.” He proclaims in irritation.
“Be a grandfather and help your daughter,” Chungdae sneakily answers with a mischievous smile. “Come on honey, there’s a first time for everything.”
Chenle despondently rolls his eyes and walks out the room going to the living room continuing to watch the news informatics while he works. He puts the volume louder blocking out the sounds of the whining crying child. In the room, Chungdae can only chuckle as she finishes ironing and walks back to Yezi’s room and coo’s. “Oh oh oh oh oh, why is my Areum crying? Why is my beauty beauty little girl crying huh? Does she want to be warm? Does she want to be warm?”
Truly speaking, this child, Areum brought a wide smile to her face. There’s a first time for everything, and helping Yezi look after her child felt like such a huge privilege for her. She never had this opportunity of caressing and even holding onto a baby- but yet Yezi gave her that integrity and honor of being there as a mother to her child. Chungdae more than anything loved the idea of having children, but when she found out that she was unable to, it crushed her. But now, being a premature grandmother gave her a glimpse into the life of what it’s like having a child. And she so badly wanted to have this experience with Chenle. Which is why when Yezi nervously questions, “Is he mad?”
Her answer is always. “Leave him, he’ll come around sooner or later. He can’t be too angry at our little Areum, hm,” Chungdae brushes her face on the little baby’s belly causing the dressed baby girl to squirm in delight and joy. “Look at that smile, look at that smile, my baby, my little Areum,”
Chenle shakes his head when for a spilt second the silence that consumes the living room from the pause break on tv, Chenle hears both the ladies dumbing down their intellect to speak in foreign baby voices and act cute.
Having the full support of her mother, Yezi is at peace when living her life around the house. Not only does she feel the weight and responsibility of being a mother, but she gracefully embodies and embraces a whole set of accountabilities. When waking up next to her baby, she’s always reminded of how she so badly wants to change her life and make sure that she’s a good, fit, role model and mother for her child. It pushes her to study to the best of her ability. She wasn’t born with a smart brain, but she has been applying herself and trying. And in the same way the nurses cared for her during her whole stay at the hospital, she also wanted to be a nurse who’d help people.
It seemed laughable at first, but when talking with Doyoung (her tutor) and he encouraged her to pursue her growing passion- her life seemed to be heading in a tremendously great path. Every day her face glowed brighter because of her Areum who would always look at her with the most caring of smiles. Her smile reminded her so much of Dae.
But Dae is different now. Everything about her moved differently, her brain started working inversely, even her words weren’t giving life but breaking down and slowing down her speech, her posture was altered, her eye contact was unalike and her lips were always dry, even when she’d lick them they’d always turn white and cracked rapidly. It’s like her sister was morphing into something else, and sadly it wasn’t even a transitional phase, it was a reality that Dae couldn’t escape and Yezi’s heart was in pain seeing her sister like this, every day, without even knowing what she could do.
“Why won’t you let me see her?” Dae asks. This wasn’t her loving sister anymore- this was a corpse living in her sister’s body. And there’s no way she’d allow for a skeleton with no soul to see her baby.
“She’s sleeping and I don’t want to wake her up,” Creating excuses and avoiding her sister has become such a huge burden for Yezi.
“Stop lying!” Dae yells and alarms Yezi. “You’re ashamed of me and don’t want me near your fucking child! Who cares anyway, she’s nothing but a pathetic resemblance of the fucker who raped you! You bitch. You dumb fuck always refusing me to see that fucker-” Yezi holds her ground when watching her sister break down all types of slurs. She turns around when hearing her baby crying in the room and ignores Dae shutting the door in her face just as Dae barks louder and emits all types of curses. “She’s also a huge fuck. She’s gonna rob houses, take advantage of people, she’s gonna hate- just like I hate you-”
“Dae? No, stop it.” Chenle holds onto Dae, but Dae thrusts her arms off her father and pushes him back.Dae shuts her room door still slurring out. Chenle shakes his head, and turns to Yezi’s door.
He carefully knocks on it and moments later, Yezi opens it up cautiously, but when seeing her dad she opens the door a little bit wider. “Are you okay?”
Yezi nods her head gulping down a little lump. Chenle nods his head looking in the room towards the bed where the child was, and after looking at her for a bit he nods his head again and walks off.
Not a minute later, Dae opens up her room door before running out the house in the shortest black mini skirt and nothing on but a leopard bra. That's her breaking point. The truth is, she began drinking in hopes to forget the horrible dreams she'd have of 'that night'. But as the dreams never went away, she turned to drugs and even sexual acts with other people, hoping that it would make her forget. But she never forgot. It was always in her head. Her family wouldn't understand. She wasn't even counting on it. The way they ignored Yezi, they'd ignore her too. So, she decides to live with friends instead. With no arms at savings reach, and no family to care for her, Dae dance alone while consuming the drugs every night. But that too also became numb to her. She just wanted to die now. She hated life.
Her prayer is answered when one night she gets to the club and begins dancing her life away before getting into a petty fight with Hendery (on who gets the bill), to storming out the club in a wobbly unsteady dizzy mess only to be hit by a speeding car with her whole lanky body flying up and knocked off her feet straight into the pavement ground with such crude force, rendering her knocked out and unconscious, almost like death.
They always say that the few seconds of death, you’ll get a 7 second flashback of your entire life flashing before your eyes. Dae is convinced its death because within the seconds of her death she sees a face… Mark made Dae feel numb to everything that night, even while she heard her sister crying and yelling when Donghyuck was raping her, Dae can only remember Mark cumming in her mouth and she felt so worthless and like a failure for her whole family-
Despite her mind in pure intoxication and dejection, Jeno from the club rushes out to the scene when seeing the car drive away after it swept Dae and knocked her off her feet and brutally against the floor. Jeno as he’s running to Dae on the floor, gets a flash memory of how he recalled seeing her the same way in her room. Despite being a rich girl, she seems to be caught in these situations of being lost and broken.
Instantly he cradles her up and looks left and right to see who can help, but there’s no one in sight or on the street or sidewalk- just the club full of ignorant dancing fools who ignore her and him outside. She’s breathing slowly, her face covered in blood pouring from her head, her eyes shut and body trembling rigidly. He pats her cheek lightly. “Come on, come on,” He begs before cursing when feeling her bleeding from her sides and he gets up on his feet with her weak body. He puts her on his back and makes sure her hands are around his neck while his arms are over her legs as he begins running as fast as he can.
Dae doesn’t even hear a thing when feeling the wind blow past her face- looking into Jeno’s side, her vision is blurry and all she can see is death. She hiccups but to Jeno that’s assurance that she’s alive and not dying.
“Stay with me Dae, just a little bit longer.”
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Chenle can’t explain the discontent he’s been feeling with his new reality of life. In a normal life, he’s with his wife and two daughters who go to school, come home, talk about their future, ask him to buy things for them, eat all that they can eat, talk to him and ask for advice or even life lessons. In his dream he’s even gone as far to marrying them off to good men who have wealthy families and he knows that their generation will be able to sustain his wealth and inheritance. He even used to envision his grandchildren and how they’d be and how happy he’d be when dying of old age surrounded by his perfect family.
Yet in some distorted way, Chenle wakes up every day to his real reality being everything he loathes. Falling behind on work, being slow to building their new home because his mind is constantly wrapped around his daughters and all the chaotic decisions they’ve been making.
First it was Yezi and her bastard child, now it’s Dae and her spiraling life going into flames. Truly as a parent, he tried everything that he could to at least even get her to talk to him. Because that was always the first step into redemption; talking. But talking to Dae was impossible. His daughter had shut down in the worst way possible, and he didn’t know what to do.
The longest that Dae has stayed away from home was 4 days, but with a turn of events the longest that she’s stayed away from home is 2 weeks.
“Where could she be?” Chenle grows particularly concerned and troubled. He tries calling, texting but to his disappointment she doesn’t answer her phone or text back, it hardly gets to ‘seen’ and all calls go to voicemail. Chungdae tries calling, Yezi tries calling and emailing but still no answer. They call on her friends, especially Yang Yang, Winwin and Hendery who last claim that the last time they saw her she was in the club.
Before Chenle could take it a step further into filing and reporting her as a missing person, he felt bad as a parent and wondered where he went wrong. It came in an email, of Dae announcing her departure from his life. She made reference to how she didn’t want to carry on the family business, how she hated living her life like nothing happened especially after the aftermath of the accident. But what broke Chenle’s heart the most, was how she begged for him not to look for her or reach out to her, that she didn’t want him as a part of her life anymore, that she wanted to cut all ties with family and go her separate way.
The fact that this was a personalized email only sent to him and not her mother or sister, made Chenle believe that he was at fault for Dae coming to this decision. He didn’t even know where she was.
All he knows is that two months have passed and he hasn’t heard a word from her. If this is what she wanted to pursue then he didn’t want to hold her back.
That’s what he thought, but to Chungdae seeing her husband deteriorate and morph into a gloomy glum man made her miss the fluffy, peculiar, mischievous man she married. There was no light in her husband anymore. He just went to work, came home, ate in his study and fell asleep and repeated the same things everyday but like a droned out machine with no means of survival. Even when finally moving into their enlarged mansion and away from the rental home, he seemed the most distant.
The move in took about a week to settle in as the women were pampering around the house making it more suitable to their liking while at the same time modernizing it to their taste. Despite its beauty on the outside as well as inside, the house was very lonely for Chenle and he hated spending time with his family. And that was because of how they drifted apart. Chungdae and Yezi loved the baby, and Chenle didn’t.
That’s until 4 months later. He gets an off day and decides to spend it at home instead of the office. As predicted Yezi’s with her baby and Chungdae nearby Yezi. Chenle has the first layer living room all to himself and catches up on the latest informatics, however he gets up from his seat deciding to get his laptop and wor while watching the news. It’s on his way walking through the wide hallway does he get to the staircase and sees a little body bag on the floor dressed of a crocodile onesie.
It’s Yezi’s child. She’s on the top of the staircase, seemingly getting her way down by crawling on each step carefully. Chenle, like usual whenever seeing her, pays her no mind and climbs up the long flight of stairs and ignores her getting into his study room and getting his light weighing laptop as well as gadget bag before going back down the stairs. Expecting to see her still at the same spot his heart jumps out of his chest when seeing her on the last few steps but somehow tumbles and rolls down the remaining steps before smacking her head on the tiled ground.
“Shit-” He rushes down the steps and looks at the little girl who’s flat on the floor. He gets near her and gets stunned when she’s kissing the floor. Upon seeing him, she laughs joyously and crawls to sit up on the floor. He sighs in frustration. “Honey! Come get the baby.”
He walks past her and heads outside the backyard porch. He takes a seat on the veranda table with which had a serene view of his large backyard. Sometimes the thought of being rich made him feel better about his problems, as long as he had money he was okay to provide for himself any vacation he needed. With his iPad channeled to the news, while his laptop focused on the project and the tablet on notepad mode, upon seeing nature and the sky Chenle’s able to work effortlessly and soundly with no disruptions.
But he speaks too soon because Areum (being somewhat around 8 months) creeps her way outside on the wooden floor before scrambling out on the grass. Chenle has his eyes on the screen but yet after spotting her he exhales in annoyance. “Honey!” He yells out hoping that she can come and take this baby back inside. “Reckless.” He hadn’t set any barricades for the baby because the baby was always with Yezi, so he didn’t feel the need to secure any areas in the house.
And because of not securing the baby crawls on the grass outside of the shade and explores around. She’s a walking and falling mess- but with a joyous and jolly laugh, whenever she falls down she gets back up and carries on walking. In her onesie she’s playing on the floor by laying down, scampering around, attempting to stand up- she’s like a dog and it doesn’t help when Chenle notices Daegal too surrounding the baby and playing with her.
Her loud squeal in pain causes him to snap his head away from the screen and to her. She wails out after stomping with her hand on the sprinklers and the water splashes on her, and Daegal joins in barking at the sprinklers when it starts spluttering out water. Chenle tsks and ignores her crying, placing his air pods on focusing on his work. That wasn’t his problem… but at the same time he can’t help but be cautious of her moves. “Chungdae!” He yells out.
With no success in getting Chungdae to come and get the baby, Chenle continues with work and ignores the child almost entirely. It’s not until she finds her way back in his line of vision under the shade and sitting down on the wooden floor playing with things, assembly Daegal’s toys does he sigh out. He doesn’t care about her, he only cares that the baby was disturbing his peace and has somehow been set free to move around the house. Where’s Yezi? Where’s Chungdae?
Meanwhile Areum in her own world attempts to stand and walks a few steps only to tumble on the ground in her onesies, what catches his eyes is that every time she’d fall there would be a smile on her face, and unknowingly a smile would also be on his face for a spilt second. He tries as best as he can to overlook the little baby girl, but she makes it so hard, when slowly but surely she moves closer to him.
The next to time he looks away from the screen, she’s standing by leaning on the table bouncing to inaudible music. Upon getting his attention, Areum smiles and moves by hurriedly walking to the chair where he’s sitting and leans on his leg.
“No, no.” Chenle scolds. “Don’t touch me.” Chenle shoves her hands off his thighs.
Areum can only sit on the ground while looking up to the older man with wonder in her eyes. Her eyes that are just so precious and almost melt Chenle’s heart, but his quick in shifting away. In shifting away she only gets closer to him before yawning and rubbing on her eye in a messy state.
She gets back up and holds onto his thigh while minding her own business and playing with Daegal’s toy. Chenle tries not to shove her away, afraid he’ll hurt her but at the same time his eyes constantly move to her wondering if she’s okay.
She’s banging the toy on his thigh and making gurgling sounds while playing with herself, leaving Chenle to simply work and not mind her.
However, after some time, she grows quiet, and still while balancing on Chenle, she slides down his leg and leans her head on his leg. Chenle notices this and tentatively shakes his leg. “Hey,”
Areum looks up, her eyes blinking and wipes on them before making herself comfortable again on his leg. He leans back on his seat after a certain time and looks at her. Her posture looks bent and surely uncomfortable but it doesn’t stop her from sleeping. It’s when her neck starts wobbling and craning does he find his arms stretching down and his hands carrying and lifting her fazed sleepy state.
“You’re heavy,” He mummers before she hurriedly fixes herself comfortably in his hands by laying her body on his chest and her head against the croak of his neck. Chenle is stiff for a minute, and snaps out of it when feeling his dog by his foot. Looking down he sees Daegal wrapping herself in a ball and making herself comfortable. Chenle leans back on his seat and gently rests his hand on the baby’s back, the other arm holding her in place.
He soon finds himself dozing off after listening to the commentary with ear pods in his ear and his vision blurring while he succumbs to the sleep.
“Mum? I can’t find Areum anywhere,” Yezi looks panicked when waking up her mum. Chungdae blinks in haziness but after hearing Yezi’s concern she’s up on her feet.
“She was sleeping with me,”
“Well where is she?” Yezi in heaps of fright dashes out the room and continues to search all over the house, calling her name. She even gets upset that the house is so big. The only place she ever spent time with Areum was on the second floor where her room was- but after searching the entire second floor her heart is in frantic panic when looking all over. “Areum?”
In seeing Daegal stretching by the outside porch door and entering the house- Yezi scampers towards the door being breathless hoping to see her child. But her eyes are too stunned to move when she takes in the sight right before her. Right underneath the shade of the veranda, she sees her dad carrying her baby. The sight itself is wholesome with her dad’s eyes closed and embracing her child in such a manner of protecting her. Her heart fills up with an overwhelming longing. Seeing this sight only enlightens her.
Despite having non-verbal communications with her dad, Yezi had a slight assurance that her father still cared about her every time he paid for her private lessons with the tutor, every time he gave Chungdae money to give her, or even the little moments when he’d stoke up on her favorite foods whenever they’d run out. Despite not talking, Yezi knew that her dad still cared for her. And seeing this sight of him holding her child, gives her some sort of hope. Ever since Areum was born, Chenle never ever held her and refused to do so even in private when Chungdae would ask for help.
But now seeing how comfortable her baby is sleeping on her dad makes her smile. Deciding not to interrupt them, she moves back in the house and informs Chungdae that Areum is safe. After an hour or so, Chenle is awakened when Chungdae lightly tries to get Areum off his sleeping figure. He finds himself holding tighter onto the little girl, but eventually slowly let’s go, nodding his head when Chungdae states that her nappy is full. However, much to Areum’s distaste and drowsy state- refuses to let go of Chenle and holds tighter even whimpering out for the touch of the man who rarely holds her.
“What do you wanna do again?” Chenle asks, while removing his earphone and seemingly looks a little more awake then before. Especially when noticing that the child doesn’t want to let go of him.
“I want to change her diaper, it’s full and she’s gonna get rash,” Chungdae tries again to pull Areum off and Chenle gently tries to stretch her towards his wife, but Areum cries only resulting in Chenle holding onto her again.
“Okay, okay, it’s okay, let’s go,” Chungdae is surprised when seeing Chenle stands up with the child and they both embark inside the house going up the stairs. All this while Chenle holds onto an awake yet sleepy Areum and pats her back lightly. “Where’s Yezi?”
“Studying in her room, we can just go to our room,”
Chenle nods his head and upon getting to their room, he carefully lays Areum down while assuring the little wailing baby of his presence by playing with her hand while Chungdae begins removing her clothes and changing her. Her whimpers die down when Chenle holds onto her hand and playfully tells her it’s okay. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s just a nappy change,”
Chungdae hurries on to changing and cleaning the baby, but at the same time she pays attention to how Areum watches Chenle in awe and silences down whilst smiling and being entertained by him. When she’s done and dresses Areum in another onesie, Areum being tired yet awake and seemingly just staring at Chenle warms Chungdae’s heart.
“What’s wrong with her?” Chenle gently asks while lying on the bed and looking into the young baby’s black eyes. “She’s tired but she doesn’t want to sleep,” Chenle whispers.
“She can’t stop looking at you, at her grandfather,” Chungdae whispers back.
Despite Chenle not liking that word especially used for this child… his heart can’t help when he sees just how much curiosity is in the little girls’ eyes. “Sleep,” he smiles lightly when her features get into a drowsy sleep but her eyes are quick to open to make sure that Chenle is still in front of her. “You won’t miss anything. I’ll still be here. Sleep okay,” Chenle adjusts his posture on the bed to be at the same level as her while he also makes himself comfortable. Soon enough, after much ogling Areum falls asleep.
In Chungdae’s head, the little girl just wanted to take in this special moment of her bonding with her grandfather and didn’t want to miss out on seeing his face close to hers.
And for a few more days, although its scarce to see Chenle with Areum, Areum feels a tad bit comfortable in always approaching him. Whether by running to him whenever her mum would chase her and tell her it’s time to bath, or even by following Chenle around once she’s spotted him. In all honesty, at first it was annoying for Chenle to be followed by the miniature creature bastard child. However, he got used to her petite figure and he’d always be cautious of her movements. Chenle purposely acknowledges her and on other days it seems like he’s almost waiting for his chance to pick her up. And always waits for the signaling. It can be Chungdae asking for help with the little girl, and Chenle simply carries her and holds her while Chungdae works. Other times it’s when he gets back from work and already sees the baby crawling on the floor but when seeing him she attempts to stand and scampers in his direction.
Yezi only having seen the sight once, is surprised when one day, a Saturday, her dad is at home instead of being at work. And it so happens that when Chungdae leaves the house to go to the market, Areum won’t stop crying while Yezi is studying.
“Areum, please stop crying.” Yezi slightly raises her voice being upset. She stands up and bobs on Areum while holding her notebook in the other hand and tries to study, but Areum carries on crying. “Areum!”
That only makes Areum wail out more even going as far as hitting her mum wanting to get down.
“Areum what do you want!? I just wanna study-”
“Hey, hey, hey.” Chenle opens up the door stepping into the room cautiously. “What’s wrong?” He asks while struggling to hear through Areum’s screeches.
“I just wanna study but Areum keeps crying, I gave her milk and food, gave her bath but she won’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do and mum isn’t here-” Yezi herself also looks like she’s on the verge of crying, both from stress of the exam as well as her crying baby. She’s so overwhelmed by her emotions that when her dad offers to watch over Areum, she agrees without a second thought and continues studying while her dad shuts the door and disappears with Areum. It’s only when she’s calmed down and easily studies does she realise that her dad actually spoke to her in a somewhat decent conversation and even offered to take Areum.
Her heart, for a second, seems like it stops beating because of the shock that just happened. Carefully, no longer being interested in studying and wants to see with her own eyes, she walks out her room and tries to spot her dad with her child. She moves all over the house and even outside, but when she doesn’t see her dad, she panics and before she can even call out to them both- she’s surprised when seeing Chungdae block her mouth looking ecstatically pleased and happy. Gently pulling Yezi to the kitchen, they’re both caught in a trans of watching Chenle and the baby.
Chenle is holding on Areum on one side of his hip while holding a piece of a pineapple on a fork. He nibbles only a little and then moves the fork towards Areum. Areum sucks on the fruit and backs away with a sour look on her face just as Chenle moves the fork back silently laughing at her reaction. However, when Areum pounces on and eagerly tries to grab the fork from Chenle’s other hand with extreme force.
And it seems that it’s through that one little moment that a serene feeling of joy passes through the house for everyone. It’s through Areum that somehow the sense of ‘family’ began making sense again. As days pass, it seems like all the family wants to do is build their life and remain connected and not look back anymore. They each continue to strive in building a better life for themselves, Chungdae as the joy of the house continues to encourage as well as bring the family together, Yezi as a persistent graduate embarks on a journey of making her dad proud as well as herself and her baby, Chenle rightfully taking the head in making sure that this time his family is safe and that nothing can hurt them. At the same time, Areum grows in the love and embrace of all her family.
And Areum’s first word much to all their surprise is “Gwanpa”. Chenle never knew the excitement he’d feel when hearing the form of words leave the little girl’s mouth, his little bean. And hearing the word from her mouth, makes him wish that his whole family be together and that he’s willing to reconcile with Dae. No matter what. Which is why, when he sends her an email years later, he’s heart is open to accept whatever the outcome is- but he mostly leans onto the best. He hopes that his daughter Dae, will come back to him.
Especially since she approves his email and accepts his invitation, asking if she can come with her boyfriend who’s helped her get back into shape. Chenle at first is surprised with joy to hear from his daughter, but his surprise turns to stun when he learns who she’s been dating and spending time with for the past years. But all in all, he figures that it’s time to let bygones be bygones, especially within their 5th year, a parole letter from the court comes in and asks whether or not they’ll accept Donghyuck’s appeal for parole.
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Chungdae asks while sitting next to her husband on their bed late at night, as they stare at the email together.
Chenle inhales in deeply, re-reading his email before nodding his head. “We’ve moved passed the past and all I want to do is move on. I’m sure from his appeal he won’t be a bother to us. And I sure as hell don’t want to receive emails about them anymore. Granting his parole as well as accepting never to receive emails like this again, will allow our family to finally have the peace we’ve been seeking for. Nothing bad will happen,”
Once Chenle sends in the email, the receivers are prompt to already writing up Donghyuck’s release paper’s and setting up for him to leave within a 5-day notice.
S2:EP7-14
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[5 days later: Thursday 9h30 a.m.]
Donghyuck is up and refreshed before anyone else in his cell. His eyes are trained on the barred windows to the light pouring out of the clouds. This is the day he would step foot outside of this damn prison in hopes never to return again.
“Can’t believe you’re leaving so soon,” Mark mumbles looking up to Donghyuck from his bed. Still being under the covers he watches his friend who’s got bruises on his nose, chin and cheek bone, but still his enthusiasm spreads all over his face. “You’re a free man but you’re already looking so beat,”
“Fuck off Mark.” Donghyuck runs his hands through his head taking a seat on his own bed. His head running free and wild with thoughts. But the one thing that’s pressing his head is that he never wants to come back to prison again. He misses his mum (who has not been sending in her letters to him), he misses Renjun who he heard from the ward guards that he was released 3 years ago. He misses his family, and he knows that they might not be too excited to see him when he gets back, but he wants to show them just how much he’s changed in his mindset. He wants to try and be the son his mum has always wanted, and he wants to be a big brother to Renjun, but most importantly, he wants to live his life the right way. “Even though I’m fucked up, I want to live honestly,” He whispers out.
Mark scoffs and rolls his eyes. “You’re all talk but, you’ll be back here before you know it. There’s going to be something that will just piss you off and make you go crazy,”
Donghyuck tries not to pay attention to Mark and only focuses on the positive, and he gets relieved when he hears his prison cell buzzer ring and looks up to the door that has a square space with bars. Seeing the officer Park Jisung call his name, Donghyuck eagerly stands up placing his hands behind his head as procedure. Officer Park Jisung gets in the cell accompanied by another guard (who stands like a guard dog and watches Mark and the other prisoners making sure that they don’t try and move). Jisung pulls Donghyuck’s hands down and into handcuffs. “Good morning Lee Donghyuck. My name is Officer Park, I’ll be in charge of settling your release papers and getting you out of here. Any questions you have will have to wait until we get to the holding center.”
Donghyuck feels relief wash over him that his appeal had been approved and that he can hear his freedom being doors away. He thought surely that he’d be rejected, but much to his surprise they granted him freedom.
“Why’d they say yes?” Donghyuck asks regardless of what Jisung said.
“Any questions you may have will have to wait until we get to the holding center.” Jisung repeats sternly.
This makes Mark snicker a little while watching his friend being taken away. Donghyuck looks back to Mark with a formidable smile. “Good luck Mark,”
“See you soon bro,” Mark winks his eye and breathes out when their door is banged shut causing the metallic locks to seal up the door again. “I’ve gotta get out of here,”
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The metal gates containing the prison facility closes after Donghyuck steps out. He takes a look back to the buildings that enclosed him and kept him for 5 years. He rubs his wrists looking up to the hot sun taking in the air of his new freedom. Finally, he’s out.
He expects to see his mum as usual, yet when there’s no sign of humans around the area he hangs his jacket behind his back before looking left and right and beginning his walk.
By the time Donghyuck’s legs wear out and he’s tired both physically as well as mentally, he stops by a gas station hoping to make a phone call. He barely has enough coins to make a calling, but he manages with the little he has. He leans by the wall and taps on the memorized phone numbers calling on his mum.
Thankfully the phone clicks. “Hello?”
“Mum,” Donghyuck’s voice is raspy but it can’t contain his own happiness when hearing his mum’s voice. She doesn’t sound sick.
“Oh,” Her voice fades. “Donghyuck is that you?”
“Yes, uh, I got released today,”
“I was aware.”
There’s a moment of silence that passes between them, with Donghyuck waiting eagerly to hear her voice but yet she doesn’t reciprocate his enthusiasm. Sensing that she’s not going to speak he speaks before his minutes run out. “Uhm, I was wondering…if you could let me stay over at your place…” He scratches the back of his head, feeling small and crushed that his mother doesn’t sound pleased to even hear him. “Just until I can find a place to stay,”
Her silence lasts long only causing Donghyuck to worry.
“Please…please mum?” He begs. “I… I won’t stay long. Please, I promise to be on my best behavior, I-”
“You have less than 1 minute.” The operating voice cuts in between, causing Donghyuck to curse. When the line connects again, he waits a bit to hear from his mum, but she still doesn’t speak.
“Okay fine. Just for tonight.” Donghyuck lets out as a last resort. “I’ll be gone in the morning.”
Just when Donghyuck isn’t expecting his mum to accept, she does. “Fine. But we changed the address. Right now, I’m at work, Renjun will arrive in an hour or so, you’ll have to wait outside. We no longer live in 84 Guryong. We’re in Estate Pent Thirty-f-”
“Shit.” Donghyuck tries to look for pocket change to carry on the call, but it hangs and he curses. “Fuck.” A few seconds of rest leads to him looking at the street map outside the gas store to find the address the his mum mentioned. “Estate Pent…” His eyes widen slightly seeing that the new residence is in an area whereby he’s never lived in.
It’s also quite far from where he is. He takes a deep breath and begins walking…
“Need a lift?”
Donghyuck’s ears are alert when hearing a voice. He looks behind him to a guy smiling at a girl. The girl continues walking minding her own business and not focusing on the guy who tries desperately hard to get her attention including whistling. Donghyuck breathes out a chuckle. “Still a dick.”
Jungwoo much to his own dissatisfaction rolls his eyes when the girl ignores him. “Fine. Go away with your flat ass,”
“I gotta advice you bro, chasing chicks decades younger then you will lead you to prison,” Donghyuck speaks loud enough to get the attention of the male in the car. Jungwoo peers to the voice and instantly a smile coats his face.
“Ehy, the boy who went to prison,” Jungwoo stops his engine and gets out the car just as Donghyuck walks over to the man. They get into a bro hug doing a little handshakes before Jungwoo goes all in for a hugr causing Donghyuck to stand in shock before he pushes Jungwoo off him. Jungwoo laughs it off fixing his cow boy hat on his head looking jolly. “Man, how the hell are you out? Did you escape? ‘Cause I know for sure your sentence was much longer then this? Where’s your other half by the way? You hungry? I was heading to lunch, come on. There’s a new joint that opened up serving amazing lobster- you know what it can be my treat, order and eat as much as you like. It’s good seeing you, the streets have been crazy with this boy by the name of Shotaro being all over the place causing havoc on every territory. Thank goodness you’re back, you can teach him a lesson. Wait, did I actually tell you about Sungchan? He was sentenced life in prison just yesterday, but wait that brings me back to you, how are you out? How-”
One thing Donghyuck liked about his old friend Jungwoo was how he always did the talking and never really allowed anyone else to talk but himself. He’d not only ask questions, but he’d answer his own questions and most of the time Donghyuck thinks that Jungwoo doesn’t really care about anyone’s opinion because he’s always talking and likes hearing his voice. So Donghyuck simply sits in the front seat, resting out his legs and allowing his seat to recline backwards so that he can take time to breathe in from his heavy walking. Hopefully when done eating, he’ll set the street address of his mum’s new place.
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After a heavy and amazing meal, Donghyuck is seated outside on a bench in the park under a tree facing in the direction of a clean and solid apartment building. Not only did it reside in a well off area, but the people themselves walking in and out of the apartment looked stable. At first he wanted to go in, but seeing how he was dressed in dark clothes from the night of the accident, he knew that the guards wouldn’t let him in. So now he sits outside, waiting for Renjun or even his mum to show up.
He waits for a really long time until his eyes squint a little by the appearance of a person which resembles Renjun. However, this person has got short black hair, looks angry and is dressed in all black clothes… well his jersey is a mixture of black and white stripes, but it sure as hell makes him look so different.
“Renjun!” Donghyuck yells out the name of his brother. There’s a fleeting happiness that gets upon Donghyuck’s heart when seeing the boy. Just two days ago, he reminisced on the feelings of how he felt for disappointing Renjun. So seeing him causes him happiness. He stretches his legs and begins moving towards the exit of the park going over to Renjun who stands frozen looking at Donghyuck as if it’s a horror movie. “Hey,” Donghyuck greets with a wholeheartedly.
However, Renjun is anything but cheerful. Up close, there’s a permanent resting scowl on his face, and with the short hair Donghyuck can see the faint lines of wrinkles which help to make Renjun look even more angry. “What are you doing here?”
Donghyuck is confused by the tone tilting his head with a confused face. “What’s up with the glum face?”
“You didn’t answer my question.” Renjun remarks looking closed off. “What are you doing here?”
“Mum gave me the ad-”
“The hell she did.” Renjun says distastefully. “Why’re you out? Didn’t you have a full sentence of 15 years?”
Donghyuck tries not to get angry, by holding in his tongue and poking it on the corner of his lip. “You also don’t want me here?” It’s clear how from his reaction that he also didn’t want him around. And to be fair, Donghyuck can understand why, but the fact that Renjun doesn’t even look the least bit fazed makes Donghyuc upset. “Well I called mum and she said I could stay here for-”
“You’re not gonna stay here. Her health’s been good for the past years now, she doesn’t need stress in her life anymore. Neither do I, so go back where you belong behind bars and out of everyone’s hair.” Renjun gives Donghyuck a dirty look before walking past him.
Donghyuck is quick in stopping his brother by the arm before looking to him. “Look Renjun. I’m sorry-”
“Save it. And leave me alone.” Renjun yanks his arm away. “I don’t care if she gave you the address, you’re not getting in. Find another place, in fact consider yourself cut from our lives. We don’t want you here.”
Donghyuck is about to comment out he has no right to speak, but he holds his tongue shutting his eyes tightly when thinking of just how much he tried his best to change in prison. If he continues to allow his tongue to be the master of everything, he’ll end up in prison again. Which is why he lets Renjun go. He stands in place and sighs, before going back to the park and sitting down on the bench with his brain raging but seemingly trying to remain calm. He reminds himself, that he deserves Renjun’s anger. But mostly Donghyuck fears just how much prison has changed his brother. Not only appearance wise, but internally as well. The Renjun that Donghyuck remembers was timid and always on edge, was always looked down upon and was a whining coward. This Renjun is gritty, unwavering, strong minded and angry. Donghyuck can blame it on the prison experience and also with the fact that he may or may not be his brother’s favorite person right now- but damn he’s changed so much. Was this his behavior everywhere, or was it only because Donghyuck was there. Whatever it is, Donghyuck hopes that it’ll pass.
With all the time he spent in prison trying to change his ways and character, he can’t come home to everyone already given up on him. He wanted one more chance, to redeem himself as well as prove that he wasn’t an unlucky fuckup. He needed just one more chance.
And so when the afternoon rolls in and the sky changes colors from blue to a cream shade of orange, Donghyuck gets up when seeing the all too familiar posture of his mother. Donghyuck can already tell that so much has changed. He’s not only happy to see her walking strongly and with a smile on her face, but also she looks really good. She’s dressed in a beautiful floral dress and her back is actually not hunched over. She looks strong. And that makes Donghyuck’s emotions flatter. Seeing his mother after so long causes him to be slightly emotional. Because he knows that soon, her smile will fade when looking at him.
It doesn’t even take a second for her smile to disappear upon noticing him crossing the street over to where she is. Her smile instantly vanishes when Donghyuck’s gaze meets hers. He tries not to break down, but the tears are already building up. His mum hates him. He can’t even look at her, as his eyes blur and he hates on himself for ever using her to the point where he takes away her smile.
However, when Donghyuck’s head hangs and he stops walking, his mum sighs sadly upon seeing her son. She slowly makes her way to him. When standing in front of him, her hand lands on his shoulder. He doesn’t look up and neither does she try to get him to look up. Honestly when he called, she just wished that she changed her number because she didn’t want to speak to him. And seeing him now, she thinks of how much worry he’s put her through. In all the times that he went to prison, she would work her hardest to try and help her son. Everyone called her names, called him names, and it tore her image not only as mother but a woman. Her son was her greatest embarrassment, but he was all she had. And despite the humiliation she’d go through, she still tried, she would drain herself day and night to get some sort of money to bail him out, some money to feed him, cloth him, help him start afresh because this was her son whom she loved so much. At some point, she even became religious and prayed for her son to change. She believed that he would change someday.
But that day, 5 years ago at the court room, she realized just how far gone her son had gone. He seemed beyond saving, and there was nothing she could do. When Donghyuck led Renjun to prison, something in her snapped. She didn’t want to be mother who failed. She knew she did nothing wrong and always corrected him, but his behavior was not a character she raised. So upon Renjun, beaten, in cuffs, accused, mocked and even humiliated- she saw herself in him. That day, her heart broke in ways that her abusive husband had never broken her before. Enough was enough. She needed to break free from the chains of being broken. All she wanted was strength and chance to set her life straight, so when they both went to prison, she was left alone and had been granted a chance to change her life. And when Renjun finished serving his sentence, she made sure that she would be strong for the son she didn’t deserve. She tried to be the mother she had always envisioned herself to be. And thankfully, day by day with a grateful son in her corner she slowly regained the strength she had lost, she became into a better and healthier version of herself.
With a good son in her corner, who always took care of her, reminded her everyday why she was special, she knew that her life was finally making sense. Life was supposed to be this way. And she never wanted to let this moment go. But now standing in front of Donghyuck, her son, her past- she’s expecting to be warm and welcoming to him, but she can’t find it in herself to even smile for her son. But as a way of moving on, she rubs his back. “You’re staying for tonight. You leave in the morning.”
Donghyuck tightens his jaw and nods his head. His heart broken. But he can’t say anything as he feels the lump clogging his throat. He ends up walking, following behind her. The guard is alert when seeing Donghyuck, as hours before Renjun warned him not to let him in. “Good afternoon Mrs Lee,”
“Hi Chanyeol,” She smiles warmly. “Any letter for me?”
The man smiles and shakes his head, always being kind and friendly to the middle aged woman who had nothing but a big heart whenever seeing him. “No, your son took them up,” Chanyeol clears his throat motioning to Donghyuck. “He informed me that, I shouldn’t let the gentleman in.”
She looks back to Donghyuck who still had his hand holding on his leather jacket. Sighing, she turns back to Chanyeol and shakes her head. “I’m guessing he was upset right?”
“Very,” Chanyeol smiles politely. “Haven’t seen him that angry before.”
“Hopefully it’s short lived,” She motions behind her. “This is a guest, he’s only visiting for the night, so don’t worry,”
It’s more than a blow for Donghyuck when he hears his mum calling him a guest. Did he really lose her trust? He tries not to say anything and follows behind his mum who makes her way to the elevator of the polished looking apartment.
Donghyuck doesn’t look around and simply keeps his head down, his own thoughts weighing him down. There’s a feeling of loneliness that engulfs him in anger, but he refuses to display or manifest it. He’s so deep in his thoughts that he doesn’t even hear his mother who speaks. “Have you eaten?”
Hearing the silence, she’s reminded of how her son barely even spoke to her decently in the first place, and so she doesn’t even try to create small conversation with him when entering the elevator. They make it to the 7th floor and Donghyuck follows behind until his mother stops by a door.
Before even opening the door, Donghyuck’s nostrils sniff the scent of a delicious aroma. Hearing his mother laugh, he looks up when seeing the door open revealing a delighted looking Renjun. “Guess what I made? Come in quick before it gets cold, I just took it off the stove now,”
She unlocks the gates and walks in, allowing for Donghyuck to follow in the lively lit home. It feels like a home with all the warmth and love. Already he feels out of place, but there’s nothing he can do but follow in. His mum closes the gate behind still chatting on with Renjun who disappeared somewhere. Donghyuck turns his head to the walls, seeing portraits and pictures of just her and Renjun. There are some medals hung on the wall and trophies as well. “Wow,” He mutters underneath his breath.
The entrance of the house is a narrow hallway, leading to a living room and there’s a door on the side for the kitchen. Donghyuck follows his mum who enters the kitchen. He stands by the doorway watching his mother walking to the stove where Renjun is. The kitchen is large enough that it even has a table and four chairs around it.
Donghyuck wants to walk in- but the moment the lively chatter stops between his mother and Renjun- he looks up. And just as he guessed, Renjun has stern cold eyes fixed on him. “What the hell.” He mutters and peaks at his mum. “You let him in?”
“Just for tonight sweety, he said he’d be gone by the morning,” She gives him a pat on the back.
“But why’d you let him in?” Renjun’s shoulders slump and he crosses his arms. “I thought you said you’re done with him?”
“Renjun, please,” Donghyuck notes how she tries to calm Renjun down by holding onto the sides of his arm. “I know what I said, but it’s just for tonight-”
“I hate to break it to you mum, but that’s how it always starts. You let him stay the night, and the next thing we know he’s out and about causing trouble and continues hiding out here until we’ve got a whole bunch of unwanted debt collectors and police officers barking down on the door-”
“Renjun.” She calls earnestly. “Don’t talk like that, stop it. He’s your brother you-”
“He’s your son, not my brother. He never was.” Renjun drops his arms and turns back to the stove causing for Donghyuck to poke on the side of his mouth with his tongue, while he watches his mother look nonchalant. “I only made enough for you and me.” Renjun turns around and begins plating his meal as well as for his mum. Before he takes a seat grumpily eating on his food.
“You’ve gotten awfully comfortable-”
“And you’ve outstayed your welcome and family privileges.” He sharply remarks glaring at Donghyuck. “You’re making everyone uncomfortable, do us a favor and just-”
“Renjun.” A warning tone leaves their mum’s lips. “Eat your food.” She inhales sharply running her hand through her hair. “Are you hungry Donghyuck?”
He only ate the meal that Jungwoo gave him in the morning, and even if he kind of felt hungry, he didn’t want to. He shakes his head. “It’s okay you can enjoy your food. Uh, while moving did you take any of my stuff-”
“Yes-”
“I threw them out.” Renjun cuts his mum off. Her gaze that penetrates the back of his head is strong in shock. “They were an omen and reflection of bad luck.”
“Renjun-”
“You know what,” Donghyuck grates his teeth before biting on his lip. “Fuck this. I’m leaving.”
“Donghyuck-”
Donghyuck shakes his head pulling his leather jacket back on and moving the door. He opens it only to be stopped by the gate.
“Donghyuck don’t leave.” His mum carefully holds onto his arm looking disheartened. “You said you’d stay for the night-”
“I’m not wanted here anymore, clearly, so just fucking open the gates and I’ll be out of your life forever. You wanted me gone anyway, so I’ll do you a favor and leave.”
“Donghyu-”
“Mum please.” Donghyuck stresses out through his teeth closing his eyes feeling the tears. “You’re clearly fucking healthy and you look great. I don’t want to fuck things up again, so just please open the gates. I’ll go and I promise not to fucking disturb you again.”
For some reason, that only makes her heart hurt. “Just for tonight- I’ll make dinner, please-”
Donghyuck shakes his head and wipes his eyes before forcing his arms out of his mother’s hands and walks back to the kitchen. “Come fucking open the gates or else I’ll break it open.”
“No need to tell me twice.” Renjun grumbles leaving his chopsticks and digging into his pockets bringing out keys. Renjun moves to the gates ignoring his mum who gives him upset eyes. Once he unlocks the gates, Donghyuck pushes past him and leaves.
“Donghyuck.” She calls once, but it’s useless when he turns the corner and instead of using the elevator takes the stairs all the way down.
The security guard, Chanyeol notes that Donghyuck is leaving and he doesn’t say anything.
Donghyuck is angry. Enraged by the stupid tears that clog his vision as he keeps walking away. He wants to hit something- to punch someone- to scream- to shout- to find some way to let his anger out- any other way except through tears. He finds his way back on the park bench underneath the tree as he holds his head in between his hands and stays silent. He sniffs here and there but he doesn’t cry. He allows for himself to feel the emotions of frustration. It’s the fact that there’s a whole in his heart and that he can feel it bleeding- it’s the fact that he wants to let it out but he knows that he can’t let it out without harming someone. But he doesn’t want to harm anyone- he doesn’t want to prove to Renjun or even Mark that he’s the same. Which is why when the first few come out, he doesn’t hold back and allows his shoulders to shudder and his voice to croak as he let’s out his emotions, his tears, his cry.
The whole night, Donghyuck covers himself in self-pity while contemplating on what to do in his life, where and how to try and live an honest life. Unlike when he was in prison, seeing his mother again made him realize that she’s always been there through thick and thin, even though he let her down she was everything a mother could be- he just never cherished her enough and that she was the only one. In her soul she would sacrifice for him to have the best in life…and because he took her for granted, he needed to let her know that he wants to make it right…he wants to touch her soul again, to at least bring a smile on her face. So before the early morning, he’s up from the bench and walks around the area. He cleans up his face in the public toilet washing his face and looking himself in the mirror giving himself some encouragement.
“I look so pathetic.” He mutters before leaving the bathroom.
Donghyuck doesn’t fret when the nearby stores don’t have any positions open, he doesn’t fret when he gets approached by some the old friends he knew who used to steal and sell on the sides of the roads, he walks away from them and persists on his journey to find work. It would’ve been easier if he didn’t get many employers asking for paperwork, degrees or even cv- it was even worse when they recognized him as someone who had a prison record, much worse when they didn’t know and they asked and he had to be honest with them. It’s hard work looking for a job, but just thinking of his mother allows him to try.
Day in and day out, Donghyuck finds himself barely making it through. On the first night he slept in the park opposite his mother’s apartment, but after much nights of sleeping on a bench- welcoming arms came from another homeless man who told him about a shelter that took in ‘straymen’ like himself. A nonprofit organization that helped to feed the needy and gave water once a week. He somehow got attached to the group of stray kids… homeless stray men who stuck together and would share everything they had with each other. Donghyuck didn’t fret when within a week, he found himself sleeping under bridges, on street corners and even sleeping standing up against a building. It wasn’t much, but he got work as a car washer. It wasn’t much because it wasn’t even professional as they’d randomly go up to cars by a traffic light and offer to wash windows. Not only washing cars but he got multiple side jobs; handing out newspapers, collecting any forms of plastic to get recycled and even helping people carry bags that were heavy.
It’s the most humiliated Donghyuck had ever felt, but as long as he was making money- he endured it. He just needed to reach his goal, to at least go to an internet café and forge out documents with his qualification. He didn’t make it far in school because of lack of funds, but Donghyuck did do side programs and got some degree. Even though forging out documents was wrong, Donghyuck had enough of being humiliated.
Together, on most days, he found himself attending ‘church’ with the group of stray kids who would go to pray.
When he thought of religion, he only thought of his mother. There was no one else committed like her when it came to going every day, praying every day and even giving in money she didn’t have. Donghyuck only came because it felt as a way to be close to her.
So he wasn’t expecting when one Sunday after the service he’d see a bright eyed woman waiting for him. His heart felt heavy for a second when seeing his mum standing and smiling. The automatic tears that seemed to only come when he acknowledged her. He looks behind him, wondering whether Renjun was around, because ever since he came out of prison she never smiled at him- so it wouldn’t make sense that 2 months later she’s outside with a warm smile.
Donghyuck scratches his neck and looks away already disqualifying himself from her gaze. Yet he freezes when hearing his name being called. “Donghyuck,”
His head slowly turns back to the spot whereby he saw his mum. His shoulders hang when he notices that she’s approaching him. He can’t even look at her in the eye knowing that he can’t contain the tears just as much as he can’t contain the anger.
Her eyes take in his appearance. He’s dressed in the same clothes that she last saw him in. Although his pants looked faded and bit dirty, his leather jacket was worn out and had some leather falling out. His hair was messy and looked combed down only with his fingers. Even though she’s not able to see his face, she can see how much weight he lost. Prison must’ve fed him well because when she last saw him he looked in good physical shape, but now he looks starved with his jaws smaller and face small. Her son…
It took one tiring, long and so heartbreaking conversation with Renjun, for her to feel so much anguish and guilt for neglecting her son. Despite all that he has done, he was still her son, and if she could protect one and groom him well, then surely she could try again with another. Especially when acknowledging that something was different about him.
“How was the service?” She asks warmly, her smile radiating joy as it covers her sadness.
Donghyuck clears his throat and looks back. Despite it being a welcoming place, he could sense the stares of the people around him and even with a message and word so strong, Donghyuck has never felt so empty before in his own life. His eyes turn back to the ground and he shrugs his shoulders not uttering a word.
This break his mother’s heart. Her son… “Are you hungry?”
Donghyuck sniffs back, blocking out the tears that attempt to fall. He hated how glum and gloomy he’s been feeling and he especially hates how his mother is here. “Uh, I actually have to get going.” Donghyuck doesn’t look to her when he turns around and carries on walking without stopping, even when she calls out his name on repeat. He shuts his ears and even runs- it hurts so much. His heart hurts so much, but he doesn’t allow himself time to grieve as he carries on his walk getting to the back of the shelter where he spent most of his days when he had nothing to do.
He busks on the ground sniffing and wiping his eyes trying to compose himself.
“Donghyuck-”
His head snaps up to the panting woman who holds onto her side bending down trying to catch her breath. “Mum? Did you follow me?” Donghyuck asks, panicked as he moves towards her but doesn’t touch her. “Why did you follow me? You could’ve hurt yourself,” Donghyuck stresses.
“I was trying to talk to you, but you just ran away from me.” She breathes out still hunched and trying to catch her breath. “I wanted…to talk to you, let me catch my breath,”
Donghyuck meekly stands back and watches her. She’s got on a long dress that end by her ankles, it’s black and she has a white cardigan over her dress. Her grey hairs are neatly tucked in a low ponytail. It brings Donghyuck, some form of happiness, when seeing that her health was booming and despite being tired, that she had strength. His only form of happiness was seeing his mum being well. Without him in the picture and with Renjun being by her side she regained the health that he had taken away from her.
“I can’t come back to you mum,” Donghyuck finds himself saying. “I’ll only cause you stress, and you’ll lose weight again, and you’ll get sick again because of me, and i… I don’t want to be responsible for your unhappiness and misery. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be okay…and now that you’re well, I need to find my own way…you don’t need me holding you down,”
These are words to her ears. Hearing her son being so vulnerable causes her to recall of a time when she cradled him in her arms when he was just a child. She vowed that no matter what, she would protect him. Little did she know that his own way of doing things, were for her and not out of selfish reasons. She limps forward and holds her hand out. “Are you hungry?” She asks calmly looking up to him who still had eyes for the ground. “We can talk after you’ve had a meal. Are you going to deny my request to spend time with you?”
Donghyuck visibly hesitates and gulps before shaking his head.
When his mother takes him to a causal diner serving pastry, Donghyuck’s eyes light up when seeing all the meals but his eyes don’t linger long on the food as he focuses on the table. He was so hungry, he only ate once a week during a Thursday when the shelter people would come, but otherwise he lived on water from public fountains.
“What would you like, I’ll pay for it,”
Looking at the menu, Donghyuck looked for the cheapest bun which was a doughnut. “T-the simple doughnut,”
“Are you sure?” His mum asks looking at the menu seeing that it’s the cheapest and most plain. “Come on son, don’t be afraid. I’ve got more than enough,”
Donghyuck chokes up on the word ‘son’ but still shakes his head. “I’m not that hungry though. It’s alright you can eat,”
“The son I knew loved eating,”
“I just don’t want to waste your money. You can use it on something else,”
“I want to use it on you,” She tries to ensure, but the look on Donghyuck’s face showed that was adamant. Even though he didn’t say anything, she could see right through his façade. Something surely changed in her son.
The afternoon he left her house, she couldn’t shake off the guilt she felt for letting him leave. Even though she had a piece of mind without him, it’s the mere fact that he came to her and she turned him away. As his mother, her soul still ached for her son.
“We’ll have the lunch brunch,” She says when the waiter returns. Donghyuck’s ears perk but he says nothing. He waits for his mum to speak, but his nerves get the better of him and he’s legs begin to shake by the heavy silence.
“The pastor told me, that he had seen you a couple of times wandering the streets,” She speaks when noting his anxiety. “He asked me, why I had neglected you.” That makes her pause to take in her son’s fragile and vulnerable state. He looked neglected and deprived of a mother’s love. “His words hit me straight in the heart because he reminded me of all the prayers I made for you. Prayers for you to change, to become my son again, prayers for God to help you find your way. His words, reminded me why I shouldn’t give up on you.”
Those are words to Donghyuck’s ears, they even make him turn red.
“We can start over,” She proposes. “We can put the past behind us, and try again. Are you willing to try again? To rekindle our relationship?”
Donghyuck feels his neck growing hot, but he still manages to clear his throat uttering out a tiny ‘Yeah’ but he’s even afraid of confessing the words out loud just in case it’ll jinx his luck.
“I’m happy to hear that,” She smiles warmly again leaning over the table trying not to push his nervousness. “A position recently opened up in the place where I work. They’re looking for a janitor and security guard, two wedged type of work. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a private kindergarten school and they pay very well. If you’re interested, I can arrange the necessary documents for you, and put in a good word for you. I’m well-respected in the school, so I believe that despite your record, I can put in a good word and it’ll be enough to cover your past,”
- 2 Weeks later.
Donghyuck picks up the heavy green plastic of trash consisting of used but not limited to dirty recyclable materials, and walks out the classroom and onto the hallway that would lead to the playground field where all the different sets of dumpsters would be. After dumping the trash inside and closing the lid he digs into his pocket to his buttoned phone to check the time.
15:29.
Thirty more minutes until he could knock off. Upon walking back to the classroom, his eyes squint into the playground distance to the empty entrance gate- well not so empty. What catches his eye, is some sort of homeless looking guy in dirty black sweatpants and a faded out red coca cola t-shirt with holes, walking towards a child sitting on a bench. Donghyuck sighs and walks towards the entrance. His whole presence alone causes the homeless guy to deviate and part away crossing the street. The vulnerable child isn't even aware that she's been spared from danger as she continues humping on the bench. Getting a bit sexual and seemingly trying to reach her pleasure.
Donghyuck scratches his neck wondering if he should be stopping the child or tell his mum once again. Even though they still weren't on good terms, he promised to be on his best behavior if it meant his mum helping him out. Getting out of prison with a warrant wasn't easy at all, but not as much as it was to get a job of any kind with so many prison charges. Thankfully, Donghyuck's mother came to his rescue. She worked as a day care teacher assistant and their school was in need of a cleaner. It wasn't a luxurious position, but Donghyuck took it just to prove to his mother that he was serious in mending their relationship.
So being a 'janitor' his main responsibilities included getting on the school grounds early, cleaning up classes when students were not inside, disposing of trash and waiting until the school day was over and all the kids went home to clean again. Those were his responsibilities, but it became tough when parents didn't pick up their kids on time at 13.00. Donghyuck hated when parents would fetch their kids late. Reason being, because he'd need to make sure that the school was 100% empty before him to go home. And if it was not 100% empty, then he wasn't allowed to go home.
Getting closer to the bench, Donghyuck notices the child seating down yet rocking her hips back and forth on the bench- almost grinding herself on it. The sight is perverse. However, for Donghyuck, he'd gotten used to only one of the day care students who was consistent in grinding on anything and everything when she was bored. Areum.
Making himself more visible to the young girl, Donghyuck sits on the bench next to her. Her motion stops and she peers to the elder sitting next to her, a bright smile coating her lips. "Hi Mr Sunshine!"
"Hey Kid." Donghyuck greets in a mumbling tone making the girl chuckle. “What?” He asks when looking down at her.
“I have a joke,”
“Go for it,” Donghyuck sighs, already knowing she’d bring another terrible pun joke. She loved doing that for some reason.
Areum giggles and looks up to Donghyuck. “A book fell on my head when I was in the library. I guess I only had myshelf to blame.” She begins giggling. “Did you hear the joke about the little mountain? It was hill-arious!”
“I’ve got one,” Donghyuck finds himself saying. “What do dogs do when they need a break while watching a movie?”
“What?”
“They put it on paws.” Donghyuck shakes his head smirking when the little girl begins dying of laughter. A little back and forth of her terrible puns fills the silent, but after some time she becomes silent. With his hands in his pocket and peering down at the girl who slowly continues to grind herself again, Donghyuck sighs. "Where's your parent?"
The child blinks causing Donghyuck to internally roll his eyes groaning lowly. This job really tested his patience especially when talking with kids.
"Where's the person who's going to fetch you? You mum or dad or guardian?"
"Oh! Mummy's at work." She says nodding her head. "Uncle Jung is going to fetch me."
Donghyuck nods his head allowing the silence to take over. However, his attention draws to the girl once again when she rocks her hips back and forth again. It's not the first time she's done this, however, every time that she does it, Donghyuck feels slightly uncomfortable. He's caught her on this bench all by herself on multiple occasions grinding for pleasure, not only the bench, but sometimes in class as well, on her chair. Donghyuck just wonders what exactly is going on in her head, while she literally dry humps the bench.
"Why are you doing that?" Areum peeks up and blinks her eyes. Donghyuck breathes out. Not wanting to say foreign words or words she's never heard before, he motions with himself and dry humps the bench similar to what she was doing. Areum catches on and smiles.
"It's a secret!" She leers. Despite her words, she seems excited to share the so called secret. And Donghyuck takes advantage of that, throwing his best cunning and charming personality.
"Can I know the secret?" Donghyuck asks with a pretense stunned face, being cunningly friendly. "I thought we're friends?"
"Okay." Areum looks around skeptically. "It's a secret." And laughs. "Uncle Jung said I should tell no one, even if its nice."
Donghyuck's brows furrow. "What's nice?"
Areum laughs covering her mouth frantically. In Donghyuck's head she looks the happiest while trying to be cryptic. She stands up and jumps up happily before her fingers begin to move. Donghyuck's eyes widen when she lifts up her white skirt revealing her yellow panty. He hesitates for a second until he realizes that her hand fumbles and makes its way inside her panty. He's quick to taking her hands out while having a morbidly shocked face.
She giggles, being way too excited. "Let me show you."
The secret? The secret has something to do with an uncle and a child? This only makes Donghyuck widely panic. "Fuck,"
"Oh oh." She covers her mouth in sudden surprise. "Do you also play fuck like Uncle Jung?" Before a smile latches onto her face. A chill runs down Donghyuck's spine. "Uncle Jung said fuck is a game. It's my favorite game." She whispers out.
His eyes widen. In all his years of being in prison, he sorta had the chance to reflect on where he'd like to be once he's out. And right now, talking to this girl feels dangerous. It's a problem. And this is not what he wants at all. If he tells his mum, there might be a high case of him being in a feud with the family of the young girl's parents. At the same time because the daycare already don't like him, he and his mum might both be fired from god knows what- Donghyuck is aware of how much they're waiting for him to slip up. But yet, he can't stop himself from asking. "Can you tell me more about his game? I don't know it."
"Don't tell anyone. Not even Mrs Chittaphon. Or mummy. Only Uncle Jung and I play this game," She nods her head and smile. "It's a nice game. I get to sit on him and ride the horsey!"
Donghyuck's eyes burst out of their sockets. Just as his lips become dry. He clears his throat asking. "Does he remove your clothes?"
She shakes her head. "No." She smiles. That sort of makes Donghyuck cool down again, however he's still in edge by the word horsey and what exactly she rides or what exactly has he shown her. "Can I show you?"
Donghyuck shakes his head with a tight smile, feeling bad for the little girl who seems brainwashed. "It's fine, I don't want to play the game today,"
"Uncle Jung likes to play it after work," Areum smiles. And that literally breaks Donghyuck's heart. Such a small, sweet and innocent little girl being manipulated by a ravaging uncle wolf.
"What does he do in the game?" Donghyuck asks after gaining her trust by sealing his lips shut with an invisible key.
"He tickles me here." Areum points to a part in her skirt and that makes Donghyuck mad. The urge to telling his mum growing. "And does like this," using her middle finger, she surprisingly rubs it on her yellow panty causing Donghyuck to quickly hold her hand.
"Your fucking uncle is raping you." He can't hold himself back when he glares into her eyes while shaking his head.
"My playing uncle is raping?" She asks with a puzzled face. "What's raping?"
Donghyuck sucks in a breath, and with distress he runs his hands through his hair. Before he turns back to Areum his eyes latch onto a black vehicle pulling up on the street. "Shit. Hey sweet cheeks, I need you to listen alright. Don't tell Uncle Jung that you told me, okay?"
She instantly nods his head. "I won't tell him. He'll be angry with me. Don't worry Mr Sunshine, it'll be our little secret."
The black vehicle parks right in front of them, with Donghyuck creating some distance while Areum can't stop giggling at her secret. A man, smartly dressed in a suit with parted hair, steps out the car with a charming smile growing on his lips when Areum jumps from the bench running to him. Donghyuck stands up with his hands stuffing in his pocket.
"Uncle Jung!" Areum cheers hugging him by his legs. Upon hearing the name, Donghyuck's eyes do a double take towards the man. The man squats all the way down with an antagonizing friendly smile, and puckers his lips allowing for Areum to kiss his lips before she giggles like the naive little girl she is. She begins jumping up and down in place while the man stands. "Did you buy the toys?"
"My little puppy, I bought you so many toys for you to enjoy. They're gonna make you feel real good ," Hearing the voice of the older male, his underlying tone of condescension and how much authority he has over the little girl, Donghyuck can't help it when his fists tighten into a ball. His jaw clinches when the male with a charismatic smile grins his way. "She wasn't a bother was she?"
Donghyuck's jaw locks and he looks away, only making Jaehyun continue as if he didn't get ignored.
"Either way, thanks for keeping her company. "
Placing Areum in the backseat and placing her bag in the boot, the man known as Uncle Jung gets into his driver's seat and begins driving away. Donghyuck can only stand with his fists balled up as he watches the car stride away. In his head, although the situation was sickening, he already told himself he wouldn't get involved. His mum's reputation, as well as his own reputation was on the line.
"Poor girl." Donghyuck sighs walking back in the school to lock it up.
"Jaehyun, thank you so much for looking after her," Yezi smiles giving her boyfriend, Jaehyun, a peck on his lips looking up into his eyes while picking up Areum from the floor and positioning her on her hip. "I hope she wasn't a bother,"
"She's never a bother to me," Jaehyun smiles placing his finger over his lip causing Areum to giggle hiding her face in her mother's neck.
"Did you have fun baby?" Yezi asks with a dashing smile making Areum cheerfully nod her head.
"Yes mummy! Uncle Jung and I played together!"
"Yes we did. She's so obedient," Jaehyun has a proud smile looking at the little girl in her mummy's arms, before he looks back to her mummy. "Are you sure you don't want her to spend the night with me while you're on your family dinner? I don't mind, it's Friday."
"I really wish I could leave her with you, but my sister's coming for the first time in such a long. She'd really love to see Areum,"
"That's alright, my darling," Jaehyun pets on Areum's head puckering his lips waiting for her to place her lips on him and she does.
At first for Yezi it used to be weird that Areum allowed for Jaehyun to do that when she was very conservative with people, but after some time and after getting used to it, she found it adorable how Areum opened up to Jaehyun in so many ways. "Have fun alright my little puppy,"
"Okay Uncle Jung," Areum grins and waves her hand. “Bye-bye uncle Jung,"
"Bye puppy,"
"Mummy is your sister really coming?" Areum asks with hopeful eyes, causing Yezi to frantically nod her head. "I can't wait to see her! I have a joke for her?”
“Let me hear it,” Yezi laughs slightly while walking.
“What do dogs do when they need a break while watching a movie? They put it on paws.” Areum begins laughing hard when her mum laughs as well.
“That’s a good one,”
“Mummy are you happy?" Areum asks.
Yezi laughs and places Areum down so they can hold hands and walk in the house. “I’m so so happy,”
18:50
"How do I look?" Jeno asks for the upteenth time, nervously adjusting his long sleeved shirt into his fine ironed black suit pants. He clears his throat testing out his voice with the syllable 'ah'. Dae, standing in front of him with her hands on his shoulders, peers into his wandering eyes waiting for him to relax. "How do I look? Do I look good?"
"You keep asking me the same question?" She lightly smiles, finding his whole nervous state funny.
"That's because you haven't answered me," Jeno inhales and exhales.
"Well, the first time I said you look good, the second time I said you look charming, and the third time I said you look handsome, the fourth time I said you look spot on, and for the tenth time, I said you look, just fine babe." Dae ends up holding onto his fidgeting hands, giving her best smile radiating joy as she leans in close and embraces her lips upon his. Jeno freezes, yet he meekly indulges into the kiss. After a minute, she parts from him. "Baby, relax. It’ll all be alright."
He takes in a deep breath holding onto Dae's waist as he closes his eyes. Taking in another breath, he tries to calm down his nerves. Feeling Dae's hands against his chest, he feels reassured that nothing will happen today, because she is with him. “You look beautiful as always, but tonight you look really happy. I’m happy that you’re sharing this happiness with me,”
After several years- specifically 3 years of them dating, and of them living together and encouraging each other- Dae's father had finally had a change of heart in wanting to see and reunite with his daughter again, and meet the man she chose to love.
Although it happened about 5 years ago, the sight was deeply plunged into Dae's father, Zhong Chenle's mind. It's something that made him feel guilty and responsible for his children’s sufferings. The works of his hands, enclosed and trapped his daughters inside of a hell hole. But as years progressed, and Yezi's child, Areum, grew, he found his stone cold hateful heart slowly melt. The little baby girl looked so much like Dae. Despite being a child of a rapist, she inherited features of the family. Chenle couldn't help but warm up to the little girl whenever she called him 'gwanpa'. With his heart melting by the innocence of the child, he slowly got the strength to look his daughter Yezi in the eye and talk to her. The first few days were tough, as she had been longing and praying for her dad to finally notice her, but eventually she took the same pace as him and slowly they rekindled their relationship of father and last born. And this evening, Chenle was ready to open up his heart again, for his eldest daughter Dae and her new...boyfriend.
The first born, the first daughter of his family, the daughter which always shared her worries and joy with utmost elevation to her father, his first love ever since his ex-wife walked out on him. He wanted to reconnect with her, and never let her go again- even though she chose the path that she was on, he wanted to stand by her and at least try to be in her life again.
So as the sun sets and Chungdae walks around the dining room table adjusting the utensils and making sure the table was set and ready to eat, Chenle buttons up his traditional outfit and fixes his hair in the mirror.
Areum bounces around the room playing with the little dog Daegul, and from time to time looks up to her grandfather. "Gwanpa?"
"Yes my little bean," Chenle responds carefully pressing his hands down his clothes.
"You look nice." Her smile enlightens on her face when he turns around with a smile and picks her up.
"What did I tell you about that word ‘nice’?”
Areum giggles and stands straight. “Nice is dead. Gwanpa you look smart, and rich!” She cheers causing Chenle to smirk with pride.
“Thank you, my little bean." He tickles her stomach. "You don’t look too bad yourself, you look like a royal queen going to a ball,"
"Thank you gwanpa! Gwanpa I have a joke I want to tell mummy’s sister." She circles her hands around her grandfather’s neck as he carries her outside his room and down the stairs.
“She can’t take jokes easily,” Chenle suppresses a laugh when remembering how bad his daughter’s jokes used to be.
After the whole incident that went down and his house burning up, he made arrangements and building construction started again before he instantly moved from the secluded area and settled into a stronghold of fortification that was suitable for his status- in other words, he moved far away into a house of more wealth and power. Just like his previous home, it was situated on a barricaded hill, however instead of it being guarded within a residential gate, he hired his own secretary to look over the massive barricaded land that enclosed his mansion.
So as Jeno and Dae are driving along the road following the GPS signal of the new address of the Zhong Chenle residence, Dae instantly feels little, very tiny when coming to see her father. All that her father was able to achieve in his life time, all his inheritance, fortune, wealthy, position, status, level, money, all of it belonged to only him. A great man, with great power and authority.
"You have reached your destination." The GPS lady says.
Both Jeno and Dae's eyes are enlarged, dazzled and awestruck by the large high-end white concrete border building. "T-this is the house?" Jeno meekly asks. "Fuck me. We literally drove parallel to this wall and you're telling me, that this is the place?"
"There's the gate there," Dae notices the gate a distance away.
Jeno starts his little polished wagon and drives forward to the black high gates. He washed his car and polished it so many times, and even took it to the car wash and had it washed more than 5 times, all so that he could impress Dae's father and have him see himself as a suitable partner of his daughter. But now driving with his red wagon towards the gate, he feels worthless and poor all over again. Who did he think he had become? Just because he loved a rich girl and a rich girl loved him back- didn't make him rich all of a sudden. He was still a poor boy from nowhere.
Dae, seeing the distraught and down casted look shadow on Jeno's face, sets her hand on his thigh that nervously bounced up and down. He takes in a deep breath and presses his lips together when reaching the gate. The gate is completely black and doesn't give any view of what's inside.
Looking at the white wall that has a little black tinted window view, Jeno rolls down his window and awaits for the tinted window to open up. He sticks out his hand and presses on the little poll that had a little intercom.
"Hello?"
No response. Upon waiting for a response Jeno turns to Dae after a while. "Should I knock on the window?"
"No, wait, let me try and send my sister a message and see what we should do," Dae says, bringing out her phone and texts Yezi for the first time in 5 years, stating that she's outside. Yezi responds in a heartbeat making Dae feel much more relieved about there being no hard feelings between her and her family. No longer feeling awkward for being outside for more than 5 minutes. "Yezi says we should tell him our names and that we were invited by Mr Zhong."
"Alright," Jeno nods his head and takes a deep breath. "I suddenly don't feel like wanting to see your family,"
"Me too," Dae replies honestly chuckling lightly.
Living with Jeno, in his world, has really casted some kind of spell on her. From recovering from her overdose and intake of drugs, to being thankful for the hospitality she received from Jeno… the beauty of enjoying life at the expense of very little, is something she grew into. For so long, being away from a prestigious lifestyle, she got to appreciate and adore the simplicity of everything (even though she really had to adjust to many things, she enjoyed the simpler life). "I feel so small,"
Jeno opens up his palm looking into Dae's eyes with assurance. Dae places her tiny hand in his and he lightly squeezes it. They sit silently simply looking at the daunting gates of riches in which resides Dae's family.
"You know," Jeno gently speaks. "On that night, the night Mark, Haechan, Renjun and I invaded your house, we were actually sitting outside, in the car. We came when the sun was slightly still in the sky. We sat outside and watched your house as the sunset over it..."
Dae listens. To think that of all people to save her, Jeno would be the one who helped her escape a deadly fate only made her appreciate the good that was hidden in the rough. As much as she'd like to forget that horrible incident, she knew just how much more guilt Jeno felt every time he brought it up. It still kept him up, and as much as you wanted to heal from the night, Jeno as well wanted to heal from everything he had done that night. And it’s in moments like these when he speaks, you listen and allow him his moment to reflect, just as he allowed you to freely use him as much as you wanted so that you could heal. As he speaks, even though Dae has told him countless of times that she forgives him, Dae knows that every ounce of him wants to move on and feel forgiven. So she quietly sits, and listens. If he was going to forgive himself, she needed to always listen.
"The house, your house...was everything my brother and I always wanted. It was a palace, a fortress, four stories high, huge balconies, large veranda and just so homely. It was modern and even the air itself was something I'd never breathed in before. It was a home we've never had before." Jeno acknowledges. "I just wanted to see how it looked inside. I really wanted to know how the inside of a rich house looked like." Dae turns her head to him, when feeling his eyes on her. She moves between his left and right eye and he smiles. "You left a house that had more than 5 massive rooms, 2 spaciously large bathrooms and enormous backyards to literally cramp up with me in a one-bedroom apartment?"
"Spaciously is not a word and yes," Dae smiles lightly. "I left it all because it was all just material,"
Dae softly says smiling when Jeno leans closer and plants a kiss on her forehead. "Do you want something like this? Do you want materials again? Because I am promise you that I'll-"
"I only want you Jeno," She smiles when whispering softly. "I need you more than anything to survive in this world that was cruel to me. You're my home, and I really mean that. No materials on his earth can replace a soul that saved another soul,"
This time their breathing is in sync when they both embrace in a warm kiss, breathing in and out together allowing this moment to settle in. With their hands still clasped together as Jeno looks out his window to tell the guard who they are he’s stunned when the black metallic gates crank open in a slow manner and Jeno's head snaps to Dae who has her eyes on the road ahead. The gate is wide open with another path to follow, but Dae and Jeno are still in shock.
Jeno turns his head when a voice comes from the intercom. "Please move your vehicle inside the premises, Miss Yezi is waiting by the house."
“Miss Yezi?” Dae has a playful smile on her face. “Wow. I bet you she’s been treated like a princess,”
Jeno snickers while slowly driving his car past the gate and into the premises. The first thing that the couple takes note of, are the lights that are shining down on the pathway. Jeno and Dae's eyes are widely opened and are all over the large sets of trees that enclose the drive way- the long drive way with various gardened plants and flowers. It's absolutely breath taking watching the garden bloom with so much colors of wealth prosperity. In between the curvy path on the driveway, Dae's eyes look out by Jeno's side of his window to the slight view of the mansion that they were soon gonna get inside of.
Finally driving into one straight path, their view gets sidetrack by the large fountain statue of two angles pouring out water. Not only the fountain, but after passing another set of black gates that are already opened and rounding their car past the fountain, the lavish sight of the ever green garden with white little flowers enclose the garden really making the mansion seem like a heavenly fortress.
The houses theme is white. There are high pillars towards the front entrance of the house as well as arched pillars on each side that lead to different roads. Behind the pillars stand 3 large structures of the fortified mansion. The middle portion is the largest with a high double deck structure where all the windows are top to ceiling and are covered with gossamer curtains. The side building structures that are still connected to the middle portion are identical in terms of design and the layers of floors.
Stopping the car right by the side of the path, Jeno's mouth hangs open, not closing at the slightest. "At this point, your dad is trying to show off,"
"You don't say," Dae is marveled by the sight, that she doesn't notice her sister who walks down the lit up stairs heading towards their car.
Yezi's eyebrows furrow when neither of the people in the car get out. She stands there for a bit before walking towards the passenger’s door and knocking twice on the window- knocking both Jeno and Dae back to their senses.
Dae removes the seatbelt and laughs lightly. "This is it,"
"This is it," Jeno nervously says. "Best of luck to us,"
"We need that," Dae leans close to her boyfriend placing a light peck on his lips before opening up her door.
"Finally." Yezi states with a snickering laugh and a smile that eagerly begins to grow. "What was taking you guys so long? After I sent the message and you didn't come right in, I had to check with the gateman and he said the car was just there. But of course knowing you and your ever stubborn behavior, I knew you wouldn't tell the gateman anything,"
"Why should I? I'm my father's daughter, I don't need to introduce myself as a guest," Dae jokes being happy to see her sister. The tears sit on the brim of her eyes, and just like Yezi they instantly embrace each other in a tight hug. Yezi whimpers and holds even tighter.
“Dae,” She sniffs and can’t stop the tears from pouring out. “You look so good, I’m so happy to see and your beautiful eyebrows and hair being a beautiful black,” This only makes Dae laugh.
“Don’t remind me of those times,” Dae can’t stop laughing when hugging her sister. “Seeing you, seeing this house, dad outdid himself this time in making me feel bad,"
"Oh please, don't fuel up his ego," Yezi chortles shaking her head but still holding tightly onto Dae with her eyes closed. "He barely leaves the house now,"
Dae laughs at that patting Yezi's back. "Your poor freedom is gone,"
"Oh please, I can leave the house whenever I want," Yezi jokes out laughing with Dae. "I just need to take a bodyguard with me,"
"Bodyguard?" Dae's eyes widen and leans her head back still enclosing her sister in the hug. "Fuck, things have changed,"
"Language." Yezi's eyes widen. "We now refrain from cursing, I don't want my little girl latching onto that stuff,"
"Ncawww, Areum, right?" Dae squeals getting into the hug again as they both scream like little kids. "I can't believe I finally get to see her,"
"Dae! You have no idea how much I've missed this, missed us,"
Dae leans her head back with loving eyes looking into her sister’s teary eyes. "Don't cry, if you cry you know my tears will flow out as well,"
"I know, but I can't help it," Yezi chuckles before sneakily landing a kiss over her sister’s lips. Dae is stunned for a whole minute before laughing out and squeezing Yezi into a greater hug again. After a minute of laughing and saying out their 'I love you', they finally part and Yezi's eyes go down her sister’s attire. "Oh my soul you don’t know how amazed I am by your eyebrows and your hair, and your body and your health! You look nourished and healthy and soo soo good! My sister is finally back!"
Complementing Dae's healthy figure, her black hair in curly waves tucked behind her ear to show off her twinkling earrings, stunning legs in a white tight dress that ends mid-thigh, matched together with a black long sleeved turtle neck inside, white daring heels and finally a tiny white purse.
Dae's hand goes down her dress and she models for Yezi with a joking tone. "I know, I know, I tried," Dae laughs acknowledging her sister and nodding her head. Jeno can only stand by his car smiling at how gorgeous Dae looks. This was the Dae that he always admired, and now that she recovered she looked as stunning as ever.
"I'm not even one to look at, you're wearing designer? Vera Wang?" Dae's eyes marvel at the designer black sleeveless dress that showed off her toned arms and a bit of her belly. And finally the black see-through flowing skirt that has a little tight black skirt inside and is long yet has a long slit up to her thigh.
Yezi also playfully models out and flips her hair. "I knew my sister was coming today, so I had to dress to impress," Yezi laughs.
“You killed it!” Dae encourages with sass making Yezi laugh.
“No you killed it!”
“I just wish I was somebody else to admire how we both killed it,” Dae flips her hair dramatically before Yezi holds onto her sister’s hand and leading her forward.
"Wait till you-"
Dae grips onto Yezi's hand tightly before motioning back to Jeno who is calmly standing like a doorman. When noticing the eyes of the girls on him, he quickly bows his head nervously, making Dae smile brightly. “My person here inspired me to kill it. Come on baby,” Dae marvels and walks to him bravely intertwining their hands. “This is my sister, Yezi,”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Yezi,” Jeno bows again maintaining a positive smile.
"Oh, hi," Yezi's tone simmers down but she tries to maintain the forced fake smile on her face. While Chenle was ready to give Jeno a chance, Yezi wasn't too fond of allowing her sister to be with a lowlife and someone who was involved in keeping them hostage. But aside that, she bows her head as well. "Wow you guys are matching." She takes in the view of Jeno's elegant face that comes out dashingly with his styled and parted hair that gives off a sense of superiority. His style of clothing consists of a white buttoned down long sleeved shirt and black suit pants with his polished dress shoes, and Yezi notes how he's standing and how humble he looks. He can try to look like them as much as he wants, but Yezi still had bitter feelings. "Well, welcome. Come on in," She smiles and stretches her hand out to the stairs leading to the mansion and eventually the people inside, that are awaiting them.
Dae stands close to Jeno, abandoning Yezi's hand to securely wrap it around Jeno's bicep. "Babe, you've got this. Just relax okay,"
When dressing up for the occasion, he thought he went overboard with the dress pants as he never wore suits too much- but seeing how Dae followed his lead and decided to dress up as well, he praises the heavens that they didn't second guess their outfit. What would've happened if they dressed in normal clothes?
Climbing up the lit up stairs together, Jeno and Dae are finally in front of the door.
The double doors are wide open and upon entering into the new ambiance of the home and removing their shoes, replacing them with the white slippers available, Jeno rubs his sweaty hands over his black pants and swallows a clump of saliva in his throat to give it some moisture. He felt like he was going to die, by the pace his heart was beating.
"Babe, you've got this," Dae encourages and holds onto the sides of his face massaging his neck. Jeno nods his head, suddenly feeling selfish. Here Dae was, giving him some air and encouragement, even though she's the one who walked out on her family and was also seeing them for the first time after years.
"You too," He holds onto her hands on his neck and smiles lightly.
Yezi watches from afar, seeing how strangely, adorable they both looked. Her sister, who she never thought could fall in love with someone who had no money, is suddenly looking up into the eyes of her lover with so much care. And the lover, Jeno, who Yezi once thought was just a sick criminal, looks like a little cute boy under the embrace of his mother. Even though she doesn't say it, and refuses to acknowledge it, deep down, they look happy and peaceful together.
Walking over to Yezi with their hands together, Yezi leads them in the house and Jeno has to keep himself from ogling at the house for too long. After passing a long corridor and walking into the entrance of the living room, Jeno's heart stops beating.
In the living room, Chenle and Chungdae stand side by side, with little Areum clinging to her grandmother's hand. When entering the living room, the first face that lights up instantly is Chungdae when seeing her gracious step-daughter who she loved the most. Her teeth are bright and so inviting that Jeno feels at peace when seeing a friendly face. Chenle on the other hand looks composed and modest- but his face morphs into shock when both Jeno and Dae get on their knees and bow down completely with their heads touching the floor.
He and Chungdae share eyes of surprise. Chenle tries not to laugh maintaining a sincere face again, just as Chungdae speaks up. "Oh, much appreciated," She says as Jeno stands and helps Dae up on her feet. The loving eyes from Chungdae and the warm smile, makes Dae want to cry by how familiar her mother's face was.
"Hi mum," Her own smile brightens up her face as she bows again, this time her head lowers slightly. Her mother is dressed in an elegant traditional styled hambok, and Dae's afraid to wrinkle or mess the dress, but when Chungdae steps forward with loving open arms and embraces Dae- Dae's can't help but wrap her arms tightly around her mother's frame "Mum," she lightly cries, laughing a little when her mother kisses her ear.
"My sweet," Breaking up the hug, Chungdae squeezes Dae's cheek and let's her go before looking to Jeno.
Jeno awaits for the smile to wither from her face, but is surprised when it's still there. "Good afternoon madam," Jeno bows down in a 90-degree angle, thinking that when he looks up her smile would've disappeared, however, when it's still on her face, he's completely stunned.
"Welcome," Chungdae bows her head as well patting his shoulder. "And you can call me, Mrs Chungdae, you're welcome here. It's good to finally see the both of you,"
Chungdae steps back and turns to Chenle. Dae and Jeno fix their positions to look at Chenle. Dae is hesitant, when looking into her dad's eyes, but regardless still tries to do so. Her smile is shaking and all she feels like doing is crying. The last time she saw her dad, a lot of harsh words were exchanged- she was not even in the right state of mind for most of those times. Her smile is rocky and her eyes blur up with tears that she can't even look at her father anymore, she hangs her head in shame. Jeno from the side, feels his heart wear down when watching her silently break down in front of her dad. He breaths in and gently slides his fingers in her hand before squeezing it, for comfort and strength.
He then turns to Chenle, who still has his somber eyes on his daughter. "Good afternoon sir. Thank you for your invitation. For allowing your daughter to bring me here." Jeno bows down in a 90-degree angle humbling himself completely. Dae follows as well, bowing down with her eyes closed to maintain herself. Standing up straight again, Dae clears her throat.
"Hi dad. Thank you..." She softly speaks and her voice shakes again not being able to meet his eyes and thus bows down again- and Jeno willingly follows. "Thank you for your invitation. And I'm so sorry for everything I've done. Please can you forgive me, for all the words I’ve said, the stress I caused you and mum, the hate I spread in the house, please forgive me dad. I truly apologize for all that I’ve done, and I beg you to forgive. I said a lot of things to hurt you, but I didn’t mean any of them and I’m sorry for how I left. I’m sorry dad."
"My daughter," Chenle meekly raises his hand laying it on his daughter's head. Feeling his hand on her head, she squeezes her eyes shut to not break down again. Chenle's face is holding back so much on emotions, but it slips out when he feels the head of his daughter. "I forgive you, please don't cry. You know I don't like it when I see you cry,"
"Thank you, for this invitation," Dae stands up straight again with a smile on her face and her eyes still watery. Chenle's hand retreats but he’s taken aback by the wave of emotions that pass over him when Dae engulfs him in a hug so dear and deep. Chenle can’t resist and sets his arms over her shoulders in protection like he had always done. Finally, his daughter has returned.
Smiling when feeling her dad’s arms around, she nuzzle’s her head a little more on his chest, before she separates from him and bows her head down again. Chenle’s face is glowing with pride and excitement and he turns to Jeno who also stands straight. Chenle bows his head quietly acknowledging Jeno.
"My name is Zhong Chenle, you can call me Mr Zhong." Chenle addresses Jeno in a fluid tone, with no harshness or strictness, simple and calm. "What's your name?"
Jeno bows lightly. "Thank you Mr Zhong. My name is Lee Jeno,"
The name makes Chenle tense but he nods his head. If his daughter chose him, then he’d need to get down to the bottom of it and see why. It was up to Chenle to see how serious they were. "It's a pleasure to meet you Lee Jeno," Chenle greets and turns his head to the side, down to the little girl who just looked up with an erratic smile. "This little bean right here is Zhong Areum,"
Chenle introduces them to Yezi's daughter, making Yezi smile. Ever since Areum was born, Chenle refused for the baby to have his surname. So seeing the love traverse from him to her daughter, a flow of content joy washes over her.
"Hi mummy’s sister!" Areum chirpily greets, brightly before shyly leaning on her grandfather when Dae puffs her cheeks in delight. Chenle picks her up patting her back telling her to carry on. She waves her hand to both Jeno and Dae who wave back with big smiles.
"Areum, this is Dae, your aunty," Chenle speaks in a soft cradling voice making Chungdae laugh. "And this is Mr Lee, your aunty friend,"
Jeno doesn’t feel any jab from Chenle referring to him as a friend, but Dae does. She was hoping that her dad wouldn’t diminish Jeno into that position.
"Areum what do we do when we greet people?" Chungdae questions calmly watching Areum.
"Gwanpa, can you put me down, so I can greet?" Areum asks cutely with big eyes. Chenle sets her down patting her head.
"Of course, my little bean,"
Areum places both her hands over her stomach and dress and bows down. "Hello Miss Dae and Mr..." she quickly looks up and looks to her grandfather.
"Mr Jeno," He assists patting her head again as she returns to bowing.
"Hello Mrs Dae and Mr Jeno." She finishes her bow and does a little curtsey with her dress gaining an applaud from Chungdae, Yezi and Dae- automatically making Jeno clap his hands. In his head all he can think of is how she looks like Dae…but as a little girl. “I have a funny joke, what does a clock do when it's hungry?”
“What?” Dae smiles.
“It goes back four seconds?” Jeno asks but gets surprised when Areum begins laughing and giggling suggesting that it’s correct. That makes the family clap again, making Jeno shake his head with a little smile on his face. Chenle coo's in a baby voice.
"Aigoo, my little bean sprout is all grown up," He picks her up again with a dashing smile, before turning to Jeno and Dae. "Make yourselves comfortable, you can follow me to the dining room,"
Jeno turns to Dae squeezing her hand tighter. His nerves were still high, but upon the warm welcome and the tension sliding down because of the little baby girl, Jeno feels slightly relaxed. "This is it,"
Dae nods her head, following behind Chungdae and Yezi, who follow behind Chenle who is still carrying Areum and whispering into her grandfather's ears. "Gwanpa, is that really really mummy's sister?"
Chenle nods his head with a smile. "Yes, she’s your mummy's sister,”
"Gwanpa, if I’m a queen would that make her a princess? I wanna make her a queen because she looks nice- beautiful,” Areum corrects herself before charmingly complimenting Dae. “Why does she look beautiful?”
"Because she's my daughter," Chenle cackles a little, he never got tired of the endless questions that left her mouth or how much of a chatterbox she was. It's moments like these, where he hopes that his little granddaughter, didn't inherit any bad or foul manners from the savage rapist. She was such a passionate young and vibrant soul that Chenle easily found intriguing and alluring.
“Gwanpa, Mr Jeno looks like a prince, I think he likes her a lot and wants to become a King,”
"You should ask him if he wants to be a king," he pats her nose still answering to her questions, meanwhile thinking of all the questions he wanted to ask Jeno.
"Do you think daddy will go hard on Dae and him?" Yezi asks calmly to her mother.
"Let's hope not," Chungdae replies. "I feel like he might want to embarrass him a bit. He kept talking about that nonstop all through the night, but he did also mention how he wants to reunite with Dae again,"
Yezi groans. "Fingers crossed, it doesn't get awkward."
Meanwhile Jeno holds onto Dae's hand like he's on life support. Dae wraps her fingers tightly against his as well. "No matter how intense it gets, just answer honestly. My dad will try everything he can to belittle you, but remember what I said at home, don't let him break your spirit, he hasn't walked a mile in your shoes, so don't mind if he doesn't understand." She says, words that always made Jeno feel more drawn to her.
The dining room is large, and has an extremely large round circular table, with various of decorations and platters of food on a rotating stand. Areum waves her hand to her mum as one of the servants walks away with her. Jeno and Dae, wait for the family members to take a seat before finding themselves next to each other and sitting. Chenle acknowledges that and is impressed.
Dae smiles secretly, knowing that her dad loved order and discipline. And if Jeno could at least show that he was capable and worthy to dine with him, then Chenle would ease up a bit on him. He simply wanted to see how well-mannered the boy was, since he was groomed by misfortune, Chenle wanted to test out how well he could be for his daughter.
Yezi is seated on the right of her father, while Chungdae is seated on the left of her husband and Jeno and Dae sit next to each other- being in Chenle's direct eyes vision. "Shall we eat?" Chenle asks and they all take in their utensils ready to feast.
As the rounding table makes the rounds and the servants walk around the table adding little side dishes here and there, Jeno feels much more overwhelmed then starved. From the many utensils on the table, to the little plates the servants put with tiny looking leaves, Jeno places his hand underneath the table lightly placing it over Dae's leg.
She turns her head to him, seeing him panic. Calmly she leans in and begins explaining that he can eat whatever, which plates he has to put the food in and which plates he dumbs the bones and what's not. Her whispered words of encouragement don't go unnoticed by anyone at the table, especially Chenle who picks up his chopsticks and watches the pair while he eats. Much to his distaste Jeno snickers and Dae does so as well- he ignores it and clears his throat gaining their attention.
"Dae," Chenle starts.
Chungdae nervously turns to Chenle. His first target. Dae looks up and adjusts her sitting position before smiling. "Yes, dad,"
For some reason, Chenle's heart feels a little touched when hearing her say the word dad. It's been a while, a really long while. “It’s wonderful seeing you in strong health. For how long have you been clean?”
Dae clears her throat with a little smile. “2 years now.”
“Rehab or self-rehabilitation?”
Dae answers honestly. “Self-rehabilitation. Actually, the night I left home and went clubbing, I was hit by a car,” This causes all of them to look at her in worry. “I, uh. I broke some ribs and nearly lost my life because I barely had enough blood in my body. A blood transfusion was done, and when I woke up… I felt as though, a second chance of life has been given to me,”
Chenle’s heart aches hearing the story. “Why didn’t you come home after that?”
Dae briefly looks to Jeno, who offers a somber smile before rubbing her thigh. “I didn’t want to live my life like before. I felt trapped, and it wasn’t because of you,” Dae immediately clears up, holding onto Jeno’s hand. “I just, wanted to live alone for a bit.”
“A bit turned into years,” Chungdae speaks sadly but a smile regains on her face. “May I ask you this, this blood transfusion you did that saved your life, was it the young man’s blood?”
Dae nods her head with a smile. “He’s the one who helped me that night. Paid the bills, gave me blood, offered me a place to stay, he was always by my side,”
The warm tone settles upon Chungdae seeing her child look so bright and happy. “Well thank you Mr Lee for that. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have been able to see our beautiful girl.” Chungdae smiles. “Please enjoy the food,”
Once again, everyone begins eating in a calm atmosphere. Jeno has never eaten so slow, as well as tiny bites in his whole life, however seeing everyone eat in a slow and paced manner, Jeno adjusts himself. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Dae as she snickers here and there covering it with a little cough.
Subsiding his friendly character, Chenle has his eyes on Dae who constantly looks to Jeno. "Dae,”
“Yes?” She instantly looks away from Jeno and to her dad feeling caught. She gulps, just as Chenle prepares himself.
“I’ve tried deviating from my culture merely because I didn’t want my daughters to be bounded by tradition. I’ve given you a good life, good education and have paved a way for a future that you can maintain. The family business of architecture as well as our lifestyle, you left it all for your own self satisfying pleasure because you felt ‘trapped’. I’m assuming you have a lot to showcase for your disobedience. Have you made a name for yourself by walking over our tradition?" The question alone brings Jeno into a front line of defense. Even though Chenle was her dad, Jeno wouldn't allow her dad to walk over how hard she had worked to get to where she was now. She worked extremely hard and Jeno was ready to defend. Unconsciously. However, Chenle unaware of the set eyes on him, continues on. "How's that going? What do you do?"
Dae feels heavy by the sharp arrow that was aimed for her heart by his words. “First of all, I am grateful for all the opportunities I was able to get while being here. Second of all, I never intended to disobey you dad. But I needed to do it for a clear mindset in what I wanted to do, in where my heart felt good. And lastly, I'm a Junior Editor."
"Editor? Junior?" Chenle poses in disbelief. "That's in the writing field. Meaning you don't get paid much, as for junior, you probably don't do much. What do you write about?"
Dae breaths in and nods her head looking up to her father. "I write articles on and for the youths of today and the struggles they face."
"That's like freelancing work." Chenle sighs out trying not to make it a big deal, but he's disappointed. His daughter. His first daughter scrapping by. He glances at Jeno. "And you Mr Lee. What do you do?" Chenle slurps on the fresh vegetable in a bowl, looking already bored.
"Photography."
"Wow, another freelancer." Chenle sounds dishonored much more then disappointed, and he continues to eat his dish of food. Yezi savagely tries to hold in her laugh replacing it with a cough and quickly looking down when Chungdae shoots her a glare. The couple of Dae and Jeno briefly glance to each other in hesitancy, but regardless they eat.
Just as Chenle is about to say something else, Dae along with everybody else get surprised by Jeno's voice. "You know Mr Zhong, not to be rude, and I say this with 'respect'-" only Dae catches on to his mocking tone, and gets worried for him. "Since you brought up your culture and tradition, according to the Zhong's line of history as well as your own private company's humble beginnings, small beginnings was were you started. So pardon me if this comes out rude, but truly I don't think you've got any right to be pissed off, you also left your family to please your own self satisfying pleasure-"
Dae's eyes widen and she places her hand over his thigh. "Jeno-"
But nonetheless Jeno still continues to speak. "To be pissed off at her career would mean neglecting her small beginnings. I don’t know much about your family, but what I do know is that your family’s legacy only grew into millions of because of you. What if Dae’s small beginnings allow her to reach your peak-"
"Comparing my family's legacy and personal company with Dae's quote on quote small beginnings sounds radically obscure. Do you even know who I am? My small beginnings lasted within a year, and I've been making millions ever since. Dae's small beginnings are small beginnings on a scale of failure," Chenle starts while setting his dish down, taking the next set of food while Chungdae grumpily adds some soup for him. She didn't like how his words sounded too harsh. Meanwhile Yezi has wide eyes glancing with a shocked face at her dad and then Jeno. “So tell me Mr Lee-”
Jeno breaths out, feeling Dae sinking in shame when she looks at her food and quietly eats. "You're talking about me as if I'm not here," She mumbles. “And my small beginnings aren’t on a scale of failure, you don’t know how hard I work-”
"Your lover is the one who started with the comparisons and small beginnings. You want to be mad at the truth? Suck it up and continue to embark on your sma-"
"Honey." Chungdae warns looking at him.
Chenle sighs. He nods his head whilst eating as if he's not having the conversation. "Do you believe that she'll make it big in her field Mr Lee?"
"I believe in her."
"I didn't ask if you believe in her. Because I also believe in her. And I much more believe she has a brighter career elsewhere, but what's important now is do you believe that she'll make it big in her field?"
"Yes-"
"Dae who never ever pays attention to the news, the same girl who barely gives an ear to those less 'fortunate' then her? My daughter? That same daughter who would never be interested in anything if it wasn't about her? The same daughter who got involved in hardcore drugs- that same girl caring for people seems unusual. A journalist? On top of that a youth journalist? Youth? Smart mouths with foul brains, those youth? Those same youth? Maybe she gives you a speck of patience, but I know my daughter. Does she really love what she does or is it just some passing want from feeling trapped? Does she have tolerance and patience for others? For you? My daughter wants to do journalism? That doesn't make sense to me," Chenle states out nonchalantly yet sternly. "I've seen her writing. And although phenomenal, she'd need a spark of light in her to empathize with youths. Regardless of what you say, I know my daughter much more then you. I know she's merciful, but in the field of journalism, it'll be used against her. With her temper, she'll easily get frustrated and allow for anyone to walk over her. I can't see, or even bare my daughter within a career where she constantly has to fight,"
Dae's stunned by his words. Never ever had he ever told her why he refused for her to be a journalist, he simply had a strong distaste towards any career that had a lack of funds. "Dream crusher much dad?" Dae chuckles sadly to cover up the pain.
"Dae, are those even dreams? To waste yourself away behind a screen writing for others? Dae. I'm…” Chenle refrains from using the words disappointed, but he’s already hinting at it. “I’m trying to understand. Why- why, why a journalist?"
Dae looks up to her dad in disbelief. "Because I’m a spoilt rich girl who’s gone through an experience that fucking changed my life forever-"
"Language Dae." Chungdae softly peeps being uncomfortable by all the slurs.
Dae stops and takes a deep breath. "I’m saying the truth of my life to reach people in dark-"
"Truth?" Chenle scoffs. "In the world we live in? Truth and people don't go together, because this world loves to be blinded. It’s why the rich are rich and the poor are poor, those who have eyes don’t help those who can’t see. Today a journalist would rather break an untrue story and say an apology later, they could break thousands of hearts, but one apology and everyone forgets. You're telling me you haven't seen those cases?"
"I've noticed that lately."
"You can spend years putting together a story to help someone see the light, only for some toddler with a social media account to just tweet it out, with low grammatical words. As for professional objectivity, try maintaining that while competing against teens dancing at the news, or on TikTok and what not, and in the rare case let's say you do get a real story, you will be backlashed because all you did was your job. The truth hurts and rubs on people the wrong way."
"So what are you saying dad?" She asks seriously trying not to be discouraged. Jeno, places his hand on Dae's thigh, running his hand up and down as a way to calm her down.
"I'm saying." Chenle stops setting up his bowl to look at his daughter. "As my daughter, it's really my desire that if there is anything else you see yourself doing, do that instead." Chenle ends the discussion without much say, getting his next bowl. "You’re smart and if you want people to see the light, use your intelligence to-”
"Mr Zhong, I really do apologize if I'm being rude," Jeno interrupts not being able to be calm anymore, especially after noticing Dae's sagged shoulders. Truly Mr Zhong was a businessman with ideals and head on strong facts. However, that could never beat how much effort and change that Dae has put in. Which is why, Jeno with resilient courage speaks up for Dae. "I hate to break it to you, but the Dae that left your house years ago, isn't the Dae sitting in front of you. Her intelligence has changed and she’s adapted to street smarts too. I agree that Journalism isn't possibly the career that you invasion your daughter in, but she's similar to you in many ways. You started out with a master’s degree in Research, you left Research to join your family’s legacies of Doctors, before leaving it all together and had to dump it all including your family to finding out what you really wanted to do. But I digress, how can you put her down when I read that you even went as low as being a brick man and laying bricks for a living? You eventually decided you wanted a career in construction. Humble beginnings should never be neglected. If you didn't disqualify yourself, why discourage her, your own daughter? And if you're talking about money, then let me I’ll say it now, she makes money more than me-"
"Are you giving me street psychology now?"
Jeno breaths in deeply smirking a little when seeing a challenging look in her father’s eyes. "Street psychology makes you learn lessons the hard and painful way. Being rock bottom teaches you of success that being rich can’t. I've been with her ever since she left your home, so I know what I'm talking about when I say she's had a fall from your grace. But look at her now," Jeno turns to her, throwing a little smile and lightly patting her cheek (causing Dae to smile a little) before turning to Chenle, who even stopped eating to firmly be attentive to Jeno after publicly displaying such a manner. "I too, worry about the giant dumpster fire of twiddling toddler's, but I also don't care about that and I know she doesn't care about that. She writes for a living you know, she's always been writing and has tweaked her personalities here and there to adapt to the life that she's wanted. And if she can write a piece that has touched an orphaned boy's heart and stopped him from spiraling down into a dark path of drugs, then I know and have the belief that she's broken through the noise you’re projecting. I don't know why she isn't saying it now, but she always says, she wants to make a difference in all the ways that she can. That’s a fucking huge commitment if you ask me. And I'm not trying to take your place or anything like that, but even if she does fails in her projects, I’m here for you no matter how many times. You haven't been there for her, so you don't have that right to criticize or be disappointed in her achievements so far. I’m saying all this respectfully. I don't mean to sound rude or come of impolite, but the truth is the truth, and it can rub you the wrong way, so swallow it like a bitter pill."
“Well said, you’re the one living with her.”
Dae has a warm look in her eyes when looking to Jeno, her boyfriend, her choice, her messed up but one of the many right choices. How passionate he's been in defending her, whether it was to someone he never knew or someone she knew, and not allowing anyone, not even her dad, to walk over her. He's made it clear, time and time and time again, how he won't let anybody ever talk down on her or disrespect her. And its kind of alarming for Dae that Jeno just said all that while being ‘respectful’.
It's tensely silent with Chenle paying mind to his food instead, Chungdae and Yezi holding in their breaths, Dae smiling while eating on her meet- and Jeno returning back to his senses and freaking out. "Fuck." He mumbles, but instantly feels Dae's hand on his thigh. He turns his head seeing her reassuring smile. She mouths out a sweet thank you. It's enough to subside his irrational thoughts and focus on how calm she is.
Chungdae smiles when noticing the adoring look in Dae's eyes. Chungdae faces Chenle and picks up another bowl of rice before placing it before him. He looks to her, still eating his own bowl of meat and soup, and as if being summoned by the rice Chungdae lightly grins, and nudges her head towards Jeno and Dae. Chenle takes a look for himself, his eyes catching a sight too traumatic and so heartbreaking.
Dae looking at Jeno, the same way she used to look at him as a child. As a father, his child will always be his child. No matter how irrational, no matter how unclear, no matter how confusing she might be, even when she's falling in love with a foe, she's still his daughter. His first daughter. His first love whom he loves with all his heart. He doesn't know what's the name of the emotion that covers his whole heart when seeing Jeno, an unknown peasant briefly gazing at his precious daughter with stars in his eyes. And his daughter equally having eyes of fierce approval. He doesn’t like it, but he can’t put down how real it looks. He looks at Chungdae the same way too. And that scares Chenle because he doesn’t want her to marry such a guy.
She just came back home. His heart doesn't want to see her go just yet, especially not to a man who he still isn't too sure about. "Mr Lee."
Jeno peeks up and sits up. "Yes sir- I mean Mr Zhong,"
Chenle breathes out. "Are you treating this such as an interview?"
"Interview?"
"Seeing as though you've read my biography and probably Wikipedia, you seem to think that you have an understanding of my background," Chenle drinks a glass of water, firmly gazing into Jeno's stunned eyes. "Is that true?"
Jeno clears his throat, fumbling with his lips before nodding his head. "To be honest sir, I've known your work. The apartment my family and I lived in when we were little was actually designed by you."
"You could afford it?"
"Dad." Dae's shoulder slump.
Surprisingly Jeno chuckles. "It's okay babe- Dae, I mean." He quickly corrects himself, before turning back to Chenle. "I couldn't afford it, but my old man could....sort of. We lived with another family, so although tightly cramped, we all fit in together. To get back to you, being in that complex for a very short period of my childhood was sincerely the most mind blowing experience of my life."
"How so?" Chenle tilts his head. "And which complex was it? Situated where?"
"It's was called Clearview Water Hill. Situated in Goum NC."
Chenle nods his head. "I recall, it was amongst my first private building going public for government uses. It was labeled to be for the rich."
"To be honest, I felt rich as a young boy. The walls, corridors, rooms, even the water was so different. Not only that, but my dad was a construction worker so we watched a lot Construction channels. I had seen you appear time to time on tv. So regarding to me researching about you, I didn't have to do much except read it from Dae's pieces. The things I know about you are actually words Dae had written in her article pieces. She spoke extremely highly of you, it even gave off an impression that being in your presence is surreal. And it is… if I’m being honest."
Chenle is astonished (just when his mind slowly began to wonder if his daughter wanted to replace him), as his quick mind reflex suddenly pauses. His eyes turn from a sharp stare, to being enlightened. "You wrote a biography about me?"
"You used dad for clout?" Yezi laughs a little.
"What's clout?" Chenle asks, causing Yezi and Dae to snicker.
"It's slang dad," Yezi giggles.
Dae runs her hand through her hair swinging it back. "Not necessarily a biography, but advice on how to solidly build a future, brick by brick. I paid almost all my references to you and how successful you've been in paving the way brick by brick for your future,"
Chenle's face remains unchanged, yet Chungdae is in awe because she knows that Chenle is catching butterflies. Yezi is the one to voice it out. "Dae I told you not to boost his ego,"
This snaps Chenle out and he begins laughing. A sound which jolts Jeno out from his crave for the meat. His reaction makes Yezi laugh inwardly.
"Before I feel too honored. I still have to read what you wrote," Chenle remarks. "Word count?"
"2,500."
"Blog?"
"No, it's an article."
Chenle nods his head, shuffling in his seat bringing out his phone. "Name of website?"
"NationsWide,"
"Hmm," Chenle nods his head in approval. He's silent when scrolling through his phone, going through the about page and finding out the ratings of the website. Although it has a 8.8 out of 10 rating due to faulty writers and time consuming management, it has a high rating when it comes to work pieces. "It's a big shot company."
Dae finds herself smiling gladly turning to Jeno who pats her head- forgetting one of the rules that Dae put in place to not make any unnecessary physical contact. But she's happy non the less. “What’s the title?”
“I’m bad with titles, by it’s called Future Bricks Are Better Then Past Bricks.”
“It’s too long girl,” Yezi comments.
“I told her that too,” Jeno remarks smiling ligtly.
“Hey, I like it sounds good,” Dae cutely puffs her cheeks tempting Jeno to kiss her cheek, but he refrains from doing so.
Chenle searches up the title and immediately is impressed when seeing 5 stars in gold next to her article. That's his girl. He nods his head, as a smile crawls up his lips. "5 stars Dae, good job."
Her heart feels good. If it took Chenle simply reading from her article, then it would’ve saved time from Jeno backing her up. It's always difficult to get a reaction or compliment from him, so getting an actual reaction makes her feel joyous. Especially for something that he complained about minutes ago. In his silence of taking interest and suddenly reading his daughter's piece, Chungdae takes it as a cue to speak to Dae and Jeno.
"Are you two living together?" She smiles, causing a smile to grow on Jeno's lips as well.
"Yes,"
"Oh," Chungdae is a very traditional woman and always counters culture over modern society. So hearing that Dae and Jeno live together without having gotten married is a bit...it makes her feel uncomfortable for them. "Living together is such a huge commitment. It requires both of you to have an entanglement that you'll never leave each other,"
Jeno already being informed by Dae that her mother had the tendencies of being culturally educated, clears his throat in answering. "If it sets your heart as ease, we sleep in different rooms...to prevent us going too fast,"
"In going too fast, I assume you're talking about children?"
"Mum?" Yezi chokes on her food. "Please not that conversation, people are eating."
Okay," Chungdae nods her head letting out a little laugh with a hint of ease settling over. "That does set my heart at ease. I'm sorry if this makes you feel uncomfortable but, may I inquire about your financial status Jeno? You mentioned photographer, right?"
"Right," Jeno nods his head.
“Could you tell me more about it?”
"Uhm, mainly I work as an advertising photographer, so I range from models, to houses, to products even nature. So as a whole, I guess that’s stock photography. I have side jobs here and there as part time so yeah," he nervously peeks at Chenle wondering if he'd get pissed. However Chenle isn't even looking or paying attention to them, but instead continues to read, paying his whole mind to the article he's reading. He’s nearly done reading, but his ears also give an ear to hear the conversation.
"Hm." Chungdae nods her head. "Well, it's something. Who supports financially?"
"I pay house rent and Jeno buys our necessities," Dae mentions. But is unaware of Chenle's sharp gaze.
"Excuse me?" He suddenly perks up. "You're paying the rent?"
"Our apartment is under my name so-"
"Because of his felony charges?" Chenle perkily asks to which Dae shakes her head.
"Felony exceeds one year, so no. And he doesn't have a felony charge. It's because of his prison record of 10 months."
"And you're proud to say that?" Chenle mumbles doubtfully while shaking his head, continuing to read. Whilst Chungdae continues to ask Jeno, some more basic questions such as if he's religious, has siblings, has parents, if they know about Dae and his relationship- so on. Some questions Dae had never heard the answers to, as Jeno would completely ignore her or change the subject. Questions pertaining to his family. She never knew his dad died...no wonder he always made dark jokes about not having any.
"Meaning you're much closer with your mother right?" Chungdae questions with a sympathetic smile.
Jeno throughout all the questions that he doesn't want to answer he kept his head down and occasionally looked up from his food- even going on to eating more just to avoid the question or staying silent to ignore. But not knowing Chungdae, he isn't expecting her to nag on and on, and not wanting to make Dae's mother upset or cause Chenle to pin him out again he answers. "She kicked me and my brother out when we were teens."
"Now we’re getting somewhere." Yezi mumbles while folding her arms. "Who's your brother again? Was it-"
"Mark." Jeno stuffs his mouth again. Dae knowing that not only is he (slowly) getting enraged by the endless questions, she also knows how much he hates talking about his family.
So being alert she clears her throat. "Okay, mum I think you've got a pretty broad idea of who he is now,"
Chungdae smiles meekly. "You know Dae, when I first met your dad-"
Much to Yezi's disappointment, who hated this story with a passion (due to the fact that in her mind Chungdae was still considered a side woman) gets up going to look for her baby. "I'm going to check on Areum."
Meanwhile Chenle sets his phone down when he's done reading. Impressed with what he’s read, he approves by giving it a rating.
"As I was saying. When I first met him, he was already self-made, financially stable and had a big job. Everything was already there. However, he didn't tell me any of that. And I, didn't have a clue on who he was at the time. Meaning to say, I didn't have a pretty broad idea of who he was until I found out the basics as: what his beliefs were, what his priorities were, what his family thought of him, what he thought of himself deeply and what flaws made him human. Only when I found out all those things, was I... almost ready to be with him." A masked smile comes on her face. The type of smile that's ready to offend but not wanting to seem blunt. "Jeno, you seem like a fine young man right now. However, I'm worried that it might not be who you are when you're outside of our house. I don't know how you treat my daughter-"
"Mum-"
"Let your mother talk." Chenle blinks once turning back to Chungdae. This was supposed to be a grilling session for him to get to know Jeno. Yet with the way Dae gazes upon Jeno's face, worries Chenle. His heart isn't used to seeing this gob struck look of so called love on her face. Especially since he just met her. It's been years, so he doesn't want to cause tension that'll make her leave again.
It's better Chungdae does it and Dae listens, rather then him doing it and never seeing Dae again.
Up till now, and with the way that Jeno spoke on Dae's behalf on something that she was 'passionate' about, Chenle just doesn't like the idea of his daughter already being tethered to a man.
She still has a long life ahead of her, however being in a relationship limits her life and choices- oh gosh especially on her financial status. He wants his daughter to enjoy life to the fullest. And Jeno can't give her all that.
All that he can give her is words wrapped in love. And he doesn't want that for his daughter. His daughters deserved much more than cheap love and words.
"She has a point. The least you can do, is listen." Chenle says again a bit softly when looking into Dae's eyes. Dae inwardly groans, yet when turning her gaze to Chungdae she sighs with an upset face.
"Even though I didn't give birth to her, I know who she is. And I'm not trying to poke holes in your bubble but I am saying that you're from two different worlds. Two completely separate worlds. You won't clash on a lot of things. And right now, as happy and giddy as this relationship has been, remaining faithful together or even growing together won't be that easy. Jeno, judging from your lack of family touch, and your upbringing from your brother, I'm not too comfortable with my daughter being down below with you. I do see your passion and will to have a better life, but it might not be enough. Right now, I can most likely hope for your future to be filled with growth. Because I don't think it'll be easy. Based on your foundation, of how you both met, I'm still a bit... hesitant in accepting you. I just don't want this to end in foulness."
The silence lingers in the air with both couples, Chenle and Chungdae gazing at both Jeno and Dae. Jeno sets his empty bowl down having being full and listening to all the advice. Dae places her hand on his knee and he sighs. "If I'm completely honest Mrs Zhong, you're right."
Dae peeks her eyes to Jeno, hoping that what he’d say would contradict his statement.
"I do feel out of place at times when I'm with her. I feel that she deserves much better than me. Much much better than me. When driving here I even said that she left a mansion to cramp up with me in a little apartment. Look, I can't understand this, but I really really like your daughter and think that... she can do much better than me." Jeno nods his head agreeing. "But every time I think about her, or me, or, of us being together, I think of how much we've been through. It's true we met in uncanny circumstances but... The fact that she made the biggest sacrifice to stay with me, even though I gave her countless of reasons to leave, she still wanted to be with me, and that gives me the chills. Because she left your world, her world to be...in my world. And I can see where your concerns are, believe me when I say we've had this talk one too many times, but we always come to the same conclusion." His hand securely holds onto hers on top of his knee. "Only time will tell, if really this will work out, but I believe that when I stopped comparing her life before and her life now, it's made my head clear. And when she stopped seeing me as just that guy who broke into her house, we gathered a mutual understanding."
"What conclusions have you come to?" Chenle asks softly, his eyes on Dae yet he asks Jeno, because Dae's eyes are still on him.
Jeno clears his throat. "The conclusion that we're both humanly real and not perfect. And we can't be perfect, but if we keep trying to understand and love each other than yeah. I never knew how to manage my account and all that shi- stuff, but Dae's been really adamant on teaching me. I never knew how to cook. I only lived off by water and bread, but she knows and has taught me so many great dishes, especially the Chinese ones. I never mediated or did yoga before, but with her, every morning we're both up and yoga-ering as a way to restore our mental health. I've never been good at getting attention or knowing how to market, but Dae's a real professional at that and has helped me market my work. Not only to say she's an important aspect of my life, but she came from recovering from overdosing, not that I helped much but I made sure she worked out, ate healthy, spoke her thoughts, gave her a change of scenery, made sure she always saw the sun… I mean, if I also have to list the bad stuff, I can just say, she doesn't know how to keep her stuff organized. Always cluttered, everywhere and plain right messy- respectfully messy-"
"That's true." Chungdae chortles.
"But she's been improving, she now puts the toothpaste back in its case, instead of living it open and on the toilet seat. Not only that, but she used to stress so much so that she never slept, always up at night and working, but along the days I used to show her that she's got enough time to drop he shoulders, breathe, to unclench her jaw, to meet people who will understand her instead of being a kiss ass, to rest without feeling guilty, enough time to try as well as fail, to change paths, to close her eyes, to sleep and rest, to do so many things that she wants to do, her life is long. Another thing, she never knew how to be active, she's ambitious, but lacks the effort to actually move to get things done, she's always online. Yes she does yoga, but she always sat down behind her screen or desk slouching and writing, but now I can genuinely say she's keeping fit by constantly jogging, she exercises as well, and can throw a punch for self-defense, not to say I taught her how to be violent, but for a lady in her form I'm pretty proud that she can throw a man twice her size over her shoulder."
"I did it to him," Dae marvels cheerfully.
"I simply taught her what I know and she taught me what she knows. We're both taking the good in our lives and presenting it to each other trying to make our lives better and throwing the bad away. We read the newspapers together, watch the news, read psychology books and talk to each other and learn about each other. Because I love her and just want her to be happy without any restraints. We are both new to this love, so we're learning with each other not only how to receive love, but also how to give love. You know, she expresses herself through writing, she always writes, she struggles in speaking up for herself or formulating the right words for the right moment, thus it's why she used to be condescending and using her privileges to walk over people. But now, I don't know why she's not doing it now, but she gradually speaks and pushes herself to be genuine and understanding. Mrs Zhong, I understand that you don't trust me with your daughter, but I'm telling you honestly that I'm careful and gentle with her. I don't want to hurt her again, or even allow myself to lose her to a successful man who's got everything. I want to be everything for her. I'm working my ass off in getting to where I want to be, and making sure that she's happy and securely in her field. I don't have it now but I know that I'll get it. I'm trying my hardest, I'm putting my all and investing literally my whole life into this. I don't know what you want, but your daughter is here and she chose me, I can promise you that I won't put your family to shame."
Mr Zhong's ears are perked at Jeno's whole plea. He can see the ambition and drive in his eyes.
"Can I be honest with you right now." Chenle starts being equally respectful as Jeno has been. "I disliked you because you were poor and seemed unable. But. After reading what I've read, I can say that the Dae sitting before me, isn't the Dae with qualities that the world would reject like before. I'm still not for this relationship. But if I can at least have my daughter willingly help others, as well as herself, it gives you, Mr Lee, a mark in my books. It shows me how much you're invested in her. And another thing, if you, Dae, can't be pushed away from following your dreams, I think you'd be an excellent journalist."
"Thanks Dad," Dae smiles looking with admiration at her dad, causing Chenle to return the genuine smile.
"Keep writing pieces about me though," Chenle grins.
"Don't boost his ego," Yezi chuckles covering her face.
"Are you still hungry Jeno? Don't be shy if you want another round," Chungdae speaks up when seeing Jeno look at all the empty dishes. "There's plenty casseroles in the cuisine."
"Oh, no it's okay." Jeno smiles shyly. "Thank you Mr Zhong, and Mrs Zhong for the food. It was delicious,"
"I'm surprised you complimented Dae's cooking." Chungdae laughs before turning back and calling one of the maids names to come and remove the food. "Dae fights a lot when it comes to spices, especially with chili,"
"Well mother," Dae has a smug face. "Jeno here doesn't mind the spice or chili. He likes it hot,"
Jeno teasingly mumbles for only Dae to hear. "We're still talking about the food right?"
She playfully hits his thigh before turning to her mum. "I know what he likes to eat,"
"Honestly if you ask me, I still find it weird how you're with him." Yezi comments when the laughter dies down. Dae's jaw clinches but she eats on her rice (that she asked one of the maid to leave for her) remainign silent. But that's not the case for Yezi who glances up at her sister. "It's strange because I know you, and I know that this is not the type of guy you'd quote on quote fall in love with."
"Yezi." Chungdae calls out calmly, with intentions of warning her.
Chenle nods his head setting down his chopsticks when he's done swallowing a lump of meat giving his plate away to the maids. "No, Yezi's right. It's strange to see this, no disrespect to you Mr Lee, but it seems like Stockholm syndrome."
"That's so unfair. We just finished that discussion." Dae mumbles glaring at her sister and dad. "It's not-"
"I know," Chenle nods his head with a gentle smile. "With the way he's spoken about you, my ideas of him shifted. Perhaps it's not a forced love. I just need to get used to the idea of seeing you with him. That's all,"
"You can't force him down our throats, we still have to get to know him," Yezi comments.
"So Jeno, how about I get to know you more. If it's possible, drop me an email on your availability and I'll set up a date for you to come to my company."
Jeno's eyes widen. "Really?"
"I wanna see how good you are at your work of photography. There's some houses that will be completed within a week from now and I need some photographs. Will you be interested?"
Jeno gulps nodding his head. "Yes sir- I mean Mr Zhong."
"Good. Now if we all may, there's a resting area waiting for us,"
S1: EP14-16
22:48
"I can't believe you lied to my mum that we sleep in different rooms," Dae chuckles when entering the comforts of their shared room turning around to eye Jeno who unbuttons his shirt.
Jeno has a smug look on his face before tilting his head. "I mean, it's sorta true. I told you to take the other room, but somehow you’re always here even though your stuff is there,”
"That’s because it’s lonely sleeping alone.” Dae smiles when kissing his lips. “But still, I don’t know if she bought that.”
“If she did, then it’s best if we keep it under the wraps of how much of a freak you are in my room, in bed.” Jeno lightly chuckles, watching Dae walk backwards while running her hands up her body giving him teasing eyes.
“Regardless, I'm glad it went well.” She notes as she removes her shoes and gathers some wet wipes to clean off her makeup. “Gosh I'm so happy it went well. Seeing my dad and mum and Yezi and Areum was such a serene moment that I’ll never forget.”
Jeno removes both his blazer and buttoned down shirt turning to Dae who’s removing her makeup. “They were welcoming, I’m glad you invited me to experience this experience with you. Seeing you with your family only brought peace to my soul. At least you’re reunited with your family again, your mum, dad, sister…and even that little child. Although, I won’t lie, I’m surprised that your sister…kept that child,” Jeno tries to say without saying it. “It’s just odd,”
“I know,” Dae finishes cleaning the makeup off her face and applying some cream before she stretches her arms moving to the night stand lamp turning it on. “But you know what, she’s still my baby sister’s baby and I’m a proud aunt who gets babysitting rights.” Dae smiles brightly. “I just can't express it in words. I'm so happy right now." Dae smiles and bites her lip innocently. "Hey. Can you help me undo my dress?" Dae moves to the bed sitting down a little bit too exotically but Jeno still makes his way towards her.
Holding onto her calf, he kisses on her knee smiling before trapping her in between his body as he gets on the bed. “You’re so happy you’re getting turned on, I think this will be a problem,” Bending his head down, he softly smudges plentiful kisses along the side of her neck, licking and biting on her soft skin. He groans when Dae's hand secretly finds its way down his covered member and palms him soothingly.
"You forgot to tell my dad how good you make me feel,"
"Is that so?" Jeno rhetorically asks leaving envelope kisses on her collarbone whilst undoing the back of her dress. "Should've told him how well you suck me off,"
Dae giggles when her dress becomes loose, allowing her freedom to remove her arms and then her turtle neck- only resting in a corset and bra. Her lips crash onto his as he mouths his way down her neck undoing the strings of her corset. Having his warm fingers on her skin arouses her body to beg for him. She feels his big hands going behind her back unclipping her bra.
"Is this okay?"
"Mmh," She whispers. “Just do it,”
He continues to mouth his way up her body, her warmth on his tongue when he kisses her again. In sync they move together while staring into each others eyes. He’s panting, holding her tight while his stamina takes over him and he holds her into him, allowing her movements and his to be fluid, going up and down, moving together. She was his first and every time he’d get at it with her, he always felt the same as the first time. Special. He loved being inside her, how she made him feel. Under her skin and inside his head, he can’t help but press her into her hugging her tight as he pounds into her, his eyes on solely on her. Even though the struggle to keep her eyes open, his eyes are on her loving her every expression. She was so beautiful that he didn’t even know what to do.
When they both cum into each other, she’s left shaking on his member from the pleasure and that makes Jeno laugh. “I love when your legs do that, was it good?”
“Mhm,” She moans and slowly rides him circling her hips and bouncing lightly on him again. It goes on for another round, until they're both panting on the bed fully naked with steamy smiles. Jeno groans and curses out when Dae disappears underneath the blanket with a giggling laugh. “Fuck, are you not tired?” Jeno pants, feeling her mouth wrap around his shaft. “You don’t have to do it-”
Aside from having intercourse, the one thing Jeno didn’t ask for was blow jobs. Not only did it remind him of what his brother did to her, but he was afraid that her mentality consumed the behavior from the trauma she dealt with when Mark made her suck him off. Continuing to suck and blow, Dae doesn’t stop bobbing her head and taking him whole. For her, it allowed her to have control over the situation, rather than thinking that she had no power of her own. In general being with Jeno, slowly allowed her mind to cope with the fact that something happened to her, she can't change it, she has to come to terms with it, deal with it, and now move passed it. It was a cycle she was slowly overcoming, and with Jeno beside her, it severed her as a means that even if something bad came out, something good as well could come out.
"I'm going to shower," Dae gets off the bed being breathless, skimpily jogging seductively to the bathroom before peeking at Jeno who's eyes latch with adoration, she speaks up. "You should join me,"
"I'm coming," he smiles tiredly. Getting up from the bed stretching his arms, he picks up his own towel walking towards the bathroom however stops when hearing a faint knock on the door. He checks the time, frowning when it's late into the night.
He walks quietly to the door wrapping his waist with the towel. His eyes searching through the peephole. His eyes widen when noticing a familiar figure lighting up a cigarette.
Jeno ducks from the door when the figurine sends his fist flying to the door knocking on it. "Hello?"
Mark?
The person knocks for a while on, still smoking his cigarette. Jeno still ducked is confused and gets startled by Dae walking into the living room with a grin. "They you are,"
"Shh," Jeno mumbles with a panicked voice.
Dae's brows furrow. "Who's there?"
"Uh, I'm looking for someone,"
Dae suddenly hears the voice outside. She was asking Jeno, but hearing the answer come from outside she's perplexed. Looking back to Jeno who's chest goes up and down, she moves closer carefully. It seems he's hiding from someone. "Who're you looking for?"
"Does Lee Jeno, Lee Jeno live here?"
"Uhm.." Jeno sharply shakes his head in panic and Dae catches on. "I'm sorry but it's past midnight, and Lee Jeno doesn't live here,"
"Are you sure about that? Hey, please can you open the door. I'm a relative of his."
"I said Lee Jeno doesn't live here. Can you please leave before I call the police."
It's silent on the other hand before the man speaks again. "Fine, I'll come back in the morning. Let him know." Dae's about to speak in confusion but the person speaks again. "Tell him Mark came by. His brother. Alright. I'm going."
"Brother?" Dae quietly whispers and her eyes enlarge. Feeling exposed as though being ripped of her robe, Dae securely grips on her robe trembling back. "Jeno..." She pants out. "Was that, M-Mark?"
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"I went to the address you gave me. Some woman was there, said he didn't live there." Mark yawns laying back on the ground next to Donghyuck who's looking up to the stars. "And what're you doing here bro?"
Laying down on the green freshly trimmed grass Donghyuck groans and opens his eyes. "I'm not your bro man. You shot me and my brother."
"You're still at that? Let the past be the past. Now that we’re both out, we should be looking out for each other," Mark chortles.
Donghyuck shakes his head. “I never got a proper apology from you,”
Mark fidgets around trying to find a good position. "I'm sorry for shooting at you and your bro. I keep saying that I thought that maybe it was the end for us. You weren't moving and we needed to go. At least shooting at you would permit them to focus on you while I escaped."
Donghyuck turns to Mark with frisky eyes. "You fucking say that with confidence."
"I'm sorry man." Mark apologizes lowly having a smirk on his face. "Should've had your back."
"Whatever." Donghyuck mumbles and sighs out. "Anyway. I saw that address in Officer Park’s visitation book. It literally said Jeno's residence, so I assumed it's where Jeno lives."
"The apartment looks too fire for Jeno. I don’t even think he lives there.” Mark scoffs. “Then again, it wouldn’t be so bad crashing with him.”
"Your brother seems to be in good terms with the police, he occasionally speak to his Parole Officer, Officer Na. So, I don’t wanna crash there." Donghyuck shrugs his shoulders not interested in talking about Jeno. "D'you find a job yet?"
"None. I just came out last week and am not willing to go back, but my patience is wearing thin on doing things the quote on quote right way." Mark sighs. "It's why I'm out here sleeping with you in a park like a homeless kid."
"I’m actually homeless dude." Donghyuck snickers lightly.
"Nah, your mum can take you back any time. You're just choosing not to go. Stubborn."
Donghyuck scoffs. “The day I stepped into prison was the day my family and loved ones began their ‘prison’ time as well. My bad decisions caused me to be separated from my family for years. Life for my family still went on and they had to learn how to navigate through the ups and downs without me. The harsh reality of losing my freedom was that I could not truly help my loved ones in times of need compared to as if I were present. It was a bitter pill to swallow knowing that I had also sealed their fate by my own hands. When I was there with them, I felt so out of place. I don't know how many years have passed, but her and Renjun are like an oil machine. They're so tight together and it makes me feel honestly like a fuck up son and brother. A fucking loser who only goes over when he’s hungry. I..Just left." Donghyuck finds himself honestly opening up. "Life would be better if I wasn't around them. And besides, I see her at work..."
After coming out of prison, he honestly tried to get back in his mum's good books, but it seemed really pressuring. Especially with Renjun ignoring him and pretending he doesn't exist. Donghyuck could feel the tension in the air whenever he was around them and he hated that. Even though he didn't want anything to do with Mark ever again, they surprisingly found each other again. Mark came out of prison by probation and was constantly kept on a leash. So obviously when he found Donghyuck under a large oak tree in a secluded park, he knew that his friend had been staying out of trouble, and joining him wouldn’t be so bad.
“But come one man, don’t you miss having a bed?” Mark asks. “We could crash at Jeno’s place until we get some shit together,”
“You do that. He’s your brother.” Donghyuck mutters. “And judging from the fact that he hasn’t contacted you should tell you that he may not be looking forward to reuniting with you. You said you heard a chick?”
“Yeah,” Mark mumbles. “She was like, Lee Jeno doesn’t live here. But I knew she was lying,”
Donghyuck chuckles lightly. “Well if that’s the case, and he’s got a girlfriend or something, he won’t let you back in easily,”
Mark groans. “I’m his fucking brother,”
“That’s what I said about Renjun, and he hates my guts,”
“Nah that boarder jumper-”
“He’s a citizen now,”
“Wow,” Mark snickers. “Either way, he was never your brother to begin with,”
For some reason that hurts Donghyuck, because he slowly started considering Renjun as a brother and everything he did was always for his mother as well as Renjun’s wellbeing. And despite being in okay terms with his mum, he also wanted to get back on Renjun’s good books. “Well if you wanna get back with your brother, I suggest getting him to sympathize over you because if he’s anything like Renjun, he won’t let you in his house,”
“That’s some brother,” Mark shakes his head. “But it’s cool, I’ll stay with you,”
Mark doesn't want to say it, but it's evident that they only have each other. While Mark didn't want to lose the friend he had, Donghyuck wanted to stay away as far as possible from him. “I thought maybe getting myself in an accident, like breaking my arm or starving myself, would have them take me in easily. But no, they’ve got stone cold hurts. But the little I know of Jeno, if you hurt yourself he could take you in,” Donghyuck plants the seed into Mark’s head. Now he’s just hoping Mark will take the bait.
It's why before dawn, before the sun comes out of its blanket, Donghyuck awakes early and gets ready for his day by simply wearing his leather jacket. His eyes go over to Mark before getting up and heading to his day job.
His mum was kind enough to buy him 2 extra pairs of trousers as well as 2 clean shirts, and Donghyuck kept them in the school’s janitor closet. He knew it wasn’t professional, but it’s not like the school would know- since the school also offered him janitor uniform which was a grey shirt with the school’s logo and white pants. So after cleaning his face in the male washroom, he heads into the tiny janitor’s closet to change up into his work uniform. The choice in color not only made him look approachable, but it singled him out as the cleaner.
Most of the time Donghyuck didn’t have to do much cleaning since the young kindergarten students would always clean up their home room classes early in the morning. Donghyuck only had to handle the staffs’ resting room, bathrooms, hall ways and occasionally cleaning outside the jungle gym. The kindergarten school was a moderately rich school with a big yard and no other buildings around. It had students from the age of 5 to 7, and only 7 staff members (including his mum), 1 principle and 2 janitors- in total 10 workers. The school had 6 working days, so Donghyuck worked Thursday’s to Saturday. With only a number of staffs team, the school wasn’t that big, but it was decently strong in the education department of training young students. One thing Donghyuck liked about it, was that it was a private school, meaning the young students were taught much more than the average kindergartener.
Donghyuck had students politely greet him, had some helping him with picking up trash and throwing it in the bin, and even (on some rare days) shared with him some of their merit sweets. But none of the students were like the little female student known by the name of Areum.
While she was like the rest of the students, politely greeting him, helping him after school when all her friends had gone and even giving him some of her merit sweets- ever since that day that they spoke on the bench, she was attentive to him.
“Hi Mr Sunshine,” She greets in a tiny voice that echoed loudly with a big bright smile.
Donghyuck turns his head down to the little kid, just as his mother who’s walking down the hallway towards him notices the little girl. “Hey kid,” Donghyuck greets noticing she has a basket and opens it up revealing some creamy cupcakes. She digs her hand inside and picks up one with a glittery label on a toothpick that said, Mr Sunshine. Donghyuck’s brows furrow with a little smile. “What’s this?”
“Today is my birthday,” She smiles brightly.
Donghyuck takes the glittery cupcake bending his knees and crouching down to be almost at eye level with the little girl. “You’re a leap year baby? How old are you now?”
“I’m now 6 years old,”
Donghyuck tries not to laugh. “Technically, you’re 1 years old because this is the first leap year in years, but I’m not gonna judge.” She smiles. “Well happy birthday kid. Did you make for your whole class?”
She nods her head.
“You’re a very kind little girl,” Donghyuck lightly pats her head smiling before he stands up. “Thank you for making me a cupcake. I don’t have a present for you now, but I can tell you a joke,”
“Okay,” She gets excited.
“Why did the clown go to the doctor?”
“Why?” Even before Donghyuck can finish, she already starts giggling.
“He was feeling funny,” Donghyuck puts emphasis on the funny as he moves his hands in a wave manner- and of course she loses her mind and topples over while laughing. Donghyuck pats her head cautiously. “Why don’t you head on to class. The bell’s about to ring, hurry,”
“Okay, bye Mr Sunshine,” She cools down from her laugh.
“See ya,” Donghyuck gets back up and drags the rest of the cleaning supplies back into the janitor’s closet. While opening up the door and goes inside, his mother (who stopped walking to watch the interaction) begins walking to the janitor closet only for her to freeze in her steps when noticing an all too familiar face…faces.
“Areum, don’t go too quick,” The lady in a navy nurse uniform turns into the corridor and finally sees the little girl. “Hey, wait up,” She walks with one large brown bag as well as a covered cake in the other hand just as a little girl, the same little girl Donghyuck was talking to, comes over and walks alongside her.
“Sorry mummy,” She smiles. “The bell’s going to ring,”
“Don’t worry about the bell, you’re going to mess up the cupcakes and doughnuts if you run too quick,” A man, standing next to them in a police uniform smiles down at the little Areum.
“Okay, I was just excited,” She bounces up and down. “I wanna give everyone a cake already,”
“Then let’s not keep you waiting,” The man has his hands filled with several plastic bags but still managing to hold onto the little girl’s hand. Donghyuck’s mother blinks twice and has to turn away while the pair and little girl walks past her.
His mother is in shock after recognizing that the police officer was Na Jaemin and the nurse looked exactly the same as the girl that had her house broken into by her son and friends, her name was Yezi. After they pass she quickly goes into the janitor’s room but stops midway when Donghyuck pulls the door open and dusts his hands while eating and chewing on the cupcake, being surprised to see his mum.
“Mum?”
“H-hey,” She greets with a tight smile, but then grabs his arm and quickly dashes outside of the building holding him tight.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” Donghyuck asks as he’s being dragged out the building. “What did I do?”
“Donghyuck, who’s that little girl that keeps talking to you?” She asks when they’re outside taking in one big breath.
Donghyuck tries to think for a second when trying to get this mum’s question. “I don’t know, Areum, why? Is it because of the cupcake? It’s her birthday and she gave me one,”
“That’s not what I’m asking, I’m asking whether you know who this girl, as in her parents?” His mother tries to calmly ask out.
Donghyuck furrows his brows and shakes his head while shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know her parents. Why? Did she get hurt?”
Donghyuck’s mother can only stare at him with wide eyes feeling her heart beat fast. Her son just got out of prison and had been doing fairly well for some weeks now. She can’t allow anything bad to happen to him. “Look,” She breathes in nervously. “This little girl, just like all the other girls and boys have parents and families who are stacked with money and power. I just want you to be careful whenever you talk or engage with them. I doubt any of them would approve that an ex prisoner is a janitor at this school, they would lose their minds. I know these people. Which is why, I’m saying this. I don’t want any problems so I’m asking you, please Donghyuck, do not- and I repeat, do not find yourself in a problematic situation involving these kids. Okay?”
Donghyuck nods head when seeing how serious his mum looks. “I won’t. I promise,”
“Especially that little girl who’s always around you.”
Donghyuck nods his head again.
“In fact, I want you to stay as far away from her.” She pats his arm slightly and heads back into the school allowing her hand to massage her neck that became slightly stiff. “I hope he listens,”
Donghyuck doesn’t even have to think of the situation, especially regarding that little girl. If his mum was warning him, it only meant that this girl had parents who would cause havoc in his new path. So continuing to eat his cupcake he walks to the corner of the building and connects the hose pipe to begin watering the grass.
Yezi has to do a double take when seeing the man. Of course she can’t see his face but his backside has her in wonder. Especially since he’s eating a cupcake.
“Are you coming?” She snaps out of her thoughts when hearing Jaemin.
“Yes I am,” She smiles when buckling her seatbelt. “I hope Areum has fun today,”
“Me too,” Jaemin notes and starts up his car. “Hey, I wanted to ask you something,”
“Sure, as long as you’re still taking me to work,”
Jaemin begins driving turning his gaze lightly to Yezi before looking back to the road. “I was taking Areum to school the other day, and noticed something weird,”
“What? She picks her nose? Tells bad puns? Laughs and talks alone? I was worried too, but dad said it’s a natural thing for kids so it’s okay.”
Jaemin’s ghost smile fades when recalling what Areum was doing. “She was...” Jaemin sighs deeply as he himself didn’t even know how to say it. The sight was unusual and made him question what was going on in her head. Yezi takes note of his chilling tone, and watches him. “She’s an odd child, but I worry about her. I know it feels like I’ve pushed the boundary between work and your family, but I really do worry about her,”
“I’m grateful that you’ve always been there for me and my family whenever we called. And ever since Areum was born you’ve almost become like family to me. So I appreciate you so much Mr Na,” Yezi acknowledges Jaemin by meekly smiling in his direction. He was 7 years older then her, but whenever looking at him she always got butterflies. Much to her family, Jaemin was just an officer, but to her- he was like her best friend. “So to have you worried about her, makes me kinda feel anxious. What’s wrong? What did she do?”
“It’s not what she did… more like where did she learn it from,” Jaemin licks his lips peeking at her. “How active are you with your boyfriend? Sexually speaking.”
The question makes her cheeks and neck glow in warmth. She even shifts in her seat trying to remain calm. “Uh, Jaehyun and I… don’t really…we haven’t gotten on that boat yet,”
That’s news to Jaemin’s ears. “Really?” Yezi nods her head. “You haven’t had any inter-”
“It’s kinda hard thinking about sex when I was raped as a child.” Yezi mutters. “Did Areum say something odd?”
“No, no,” Jaemin runs his hand through his hair. He tries to be respectful considering Yezi’s history. “I’m just asking. A-actually, tell me about him. Jaehyun.”
“Pardom?” Yezi has to blow air out of her mouth when finding the atmosphere warm and a little bit too much for her. “You hate when I talk about him,”
“That’s because he’s 9 years older than you,” Jaemin mutters covering up with a cough. “I mean, I don’t have anything against the guy other than he’s 30 and you’re 21. He’s a great guy, has a good looking face, egotistical personality-”
“Jaemin,” Yezi drags out a sigh with her smiley face. “He’s nice to me. But what does asking about him have to do with what Areum did? What did she do, tell me?” Jaemin’s nonchalant face doesn’t budge only making Yezi much more adamant. “Jaemin?”
“I’m just looking out for her,” Jaemin says. “I know you work over time, and your dad doesn’t get back until late and your mum started attending some afternoon yoga classes- but really is there no one else you can trust Areum with? Nanny even?”
“The last time I trusted a nanny, I found her hitting Areum as a form of discipline. I’m not going down the nanny line again. Plus the one’s we have at home only work for my dad and mum. They can watch Areum, but I don’t want them too. She’s my little girl and I don’t want them to pontificate her mind,”
“Come on Yezi, and Jaehyun?” Jaemin’s eyes widen. “He’s a 30-year-old man. Just because he’s got a lot of free time doesn’t-”
“I trust Jaehyun because he makes Areum happy, she doesn’t get nervous or scared around him. And because he’s older he takes his responsibilities seriously. It’s not his responsibility, but he’s passionate about her and that makes me feel some form of safety.”
“The best I can do is drop her every morning to school while you go off to work early in the mornings. If I could look after her, after school, would you allow me too?”
Yezi has an unknown sad frown on her face, but subtly nods. “She doesn’t open up much to people and with you she’s afraid because you have a gun and deal with ‘bad people’, but if it’s what you want to do, I can consider it. But you already have so much on your plate,”
“Trust me Yezi, Jaehyun’s great. But there’s something off… maybe it’s not even Jaehyun. Maybe it’s her friends at school,” Jaemin begins second doubting himself.
“Jaemin what did she do, that has you so worked up?” Yezi pleads this time feeling worried.
Jaemin sighs. “It’s not a big deal, just…” Jaemin’s eyes brighten. “What about your sister? You said she’s clean again, can’t you ask her-”
“I’m not gonna ask her until you tell me what happened with Areum?”
“Fine.” He rolls his eyes, before the nerves kick in again. How would he tell her that he caught her daughter bouncing and even dry humping herself on the backseat of his car? She would be in a frenzy state. But then again, Jaemin could be over thinking it and Areum wasn’t doing anything scandalous and he could’ve saw wrong….no he couldn’t have saw wrong for 18 weeks now. “She humps her seat every morning I take her to school.” Jaemin reveals. “And she does it excessively, like she’s trying to pleasure herself. I, I could be reading too much into it but I can’t help but wonder why she does that. I’ve tried asking her but she stops and then says nothing.”
“So, you’re suspecting Jaehyun of-”
“No, I’m not. I just.” Jaemin stops himself before finding the words. “She’s a little girl and takes things in easily. In a way, if he’s the one watching her afterschool, don’t you think she’s learning things from him? Plus I could be wrong about him, and it’s not him but instead it’s the students at her school. Maybe some male student or even the female students, I don’t know Yezi. If I’m reading too much into it, then there’s nothing wrong and it’s nothing to worry about, but if it’s something true then I think you should check on the people around her because she’s learning some bad things for her age. She just turned 6 today,”
Yezi is in silence as well as astonishment from everything Jaemin says. “Humping her seat how?”
Jaemin doesn’t say anything but then his body starts awkwardly moving back and forth before he starts bouncing lightly on his seat. The scene is erotic and has Yezi’s eyes widening. “Like that,” Jaemin says before stopping and resting back on his seat.
Yezi sharply intakes some air and looks away. Her cheeks are flushed and the tempo of her heart changes. However, for the rest of the ride, she says nothing until Jaemin reaches the hospital in which she interns in. “Have a good day,” Jaemin says, a small smile sipping onto his lips just as his eyes look guilty for causing her tension so early in the morning.
Yezi stiffly smiles and unlocks her door stepping out. She shuts the door and heads to his boot to bring out her work bad- afterwards she goes back to the window and knocks on it. “I’ll call Dae and see if she’s available. Uh, do you mind picking me up afterwards?”
“Time?”
“Half past six,”
“Sure,” He nods his head but he can’t help when asking. “Will Jaehyun be with Areum?”
She stiffly nods her head and tilts her head to the side looking anxious. “I’ll talk to him during my lunch break. Thanks for telling me.”
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For the next coming of days, Yezi is highly cautious of Areum. She tries spotting or even catching Areum when ‘humping’, but just like Jaehyun said perhaps Areum wanted to pee on those days that Jaemin picked her up. Jaehyun assured Yezi that Areum only acts like that when she really wants to use the bathroom. Her suspicion died down when Jaehyun assured her that Areum is a good girl and doesn’t know things like that- and if she did, then he would put it down immediately. And even when Yezi tried investigating by talking with teachers at her school, and with her dad and mum- they were confused by the brass topic. ‘How could she know such?’ They’d ask. Even when Yezi would hump the floor and ask Areum what was happening- Areum didn’t seem to know what her mother was talking about or even doing. So while Jaemin never brought it up again, Yezi was able to relax and hoping that indeed Jaemin might’ve seen Areum in her pressed state and in need to use the toilet.
However, for Donghyuck who constantly watches Areum rub herself on the bench when everyone’s gone gets bothered by it. Like his mother said, he tries to stay away from Areum as much as he can. But he can’t help it, when day by day it really looks scandalous. This little girl was being sexually abused and mind fucked by her uncle.
Donghyuck doesn’t know the depths of it, of how much the little girl knows, but it surely gets on his nerve every time he’d see the smirking uncle touch the girl. Areum, even though Donghyuck didn’t know her, was a sweet little girl who loved making friends with everybody. She was a little class clown who brought smiles to everyone’s faces. Donghyuck remembers when on one assembly, while the students were watching their entertainment of the week by some dancing clowns, Areum got up as well and began dancing- challenging the clowns, bringing smiles and laughter to everyone’s faces. Donghyuck even acknowledges how smart she is, from always getting golden sticker stars on her forhead to the amount of merit sweets she’d get- this tiny little girl was oblivious to the fact that she was being used by her uncle, all in the name of playing.
And so when approaching her after school past 3pm on a Thursday, he notices how tired she looks when dragging her pelvis slowly on the bench.
“Hey kid,” He pipes up with a tiny smile, causing her little drained face to meekly smile.
“Hi Mr Sunshine.” She tries smiling but she looks so tired.
Donghyuck takes a seat next to her on the bench taking a look at her. “No joke today?”
She stops humping hanging her head down.
In her lack of response, Donghyuck clears his throat speaking again. “Waiting for your uncle?”
She looks up and nods her head. Donghyuck feels strange watching her look so drained of energy before her gaze goes back to the ground. It’s silent for a little while before he speaks up again.
“Do you still play that game with your uncle?” The question itself makes Donghyuck itch the wrong way, but when Areum tenses up his face thickens with anxiety. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t like playing fuck with Uncle Jung anymore.” She murmurs out. “But he likes playing it.”
Donghyuck’s jaws lock before he tries asking another question. “Why don’t you tell your mum? Or dad?”
“Mummy likes him too much,” She answers. “And I’m scared she’ll be angry with me,”
Donghyuck finds himself feeling bad for the little girl. She must not have a father, and her mother might be a strict rich parent or something along the lines- Donghyuck thinks to himself. “I think you should tell mummy. If you tell her what uncle does to you, she’ll tell uncle to stop.”
She shakes her head timidly and looks nervous. “Uncle Jung will punish me. He told me to never ever tell mummy or else fuck will become harder,”
Donghyuck’s brows furrow in distaste. That fucker, he thinks. “How about this,” Donghyuck breathes in. “I can tell a teacher and then your teacher will tell your mum-”
“Nooo,” She shakes her head looking petrified. “Uncle Jung doesn’t like bad girls. If I’m a bad girl, he’ll punish me.”
Aside from her outburst in stress, Donghyuck can tell that something has changed in her. Whereas the first few days she looked content of the ‘game’, she now seems more reluctant. “Do you like playing that game?” He asks lowly.
Areum shakes her head before getting up from her seat when a black vehicle stops in front of them. Donghyuck is deep in his thoughts until a car comes. He bites his lip to hold back his anger, but he gets up and walks with Areum until her uncle is out the car.
“Hey puppy,” He greets with the pet name. Donghyuck’s ears are sharp when hearing the ‘happiness’ sip out of Areum. Poor little girl is so afraid that she even fakes her happiness. “She wasn’t a bother was she?”
Donghyuck’s head turns to the man and he shakes his head. “She never is. Hey uh, sir.”
“Yes?” Jaehyun peers back at the man after shutting the door when Areum gets in the backseat.
Donghyuck can’t find the words to say when looking at the little girl in the backseat. He only feels anger boiling in him. She’s trapped in the car with an abuser. “Whatever game you’re playing with her you should stop.”
Jaehyun’s head tilts to the side and he blinks. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” Donghyuck turns in his step and walks back to the school.
Little does Donghyuck know when Jaehyun gets back in the car he turns back to Areum who has her head hanging low. “Areum were you a naughty girl today at school?”
Areum looks up and shakes her head.
“Are you lying to me?”
She shakes her head again.
“Does that guy know about the game?”
Areum hesitates a little and her eyes look down. Jaehyun starts his car being angered. He doesn’t say anything except plays his jam as he drives back to his house whereby he’d stay with Areum until 18h30 and take her back home. Upon getting to his house, he helps Areum undress into the spare clothes her mother left over at his house, and begins assisting her with her homework. When they’re done, he allows her to watch tv while he works on his laptop. Initially, they’d have ‘play time’, but Jaehyun is heated with anger that he denies her request of play time and goes into his room. Not long after, Areum knocks on the door and pushes it open.
“I’m sorry Uncle Jung.” Areum apologizes when standing by his door. “I won’t tell anyone again.”
Hearing that, Jaehyun exhales lowly. Recently he started doing things a little bit different with her, perhaps it was too much for her. “What did you tell him? And don’t lie to me.”
She keeps her head down, being scared to look up. “I don’t know.” She admits. “That I play fuck with you and that you touch me here.” She points to her lower part.
Jaehyun rolls on his chair and faces her. It took him only a few conversations for him to convince Yezi that he wasn’t doing anything inappropriate with her daughter. And truly speaking he wasn’t…he only liked to show Areum how her body worked and what she should do to relieve herself. He liked to touch…and see how she liked it. Aside from that, he didn’t think that he did anything wrong. She would soon forget about it as she grew up, but for now he was aroused at how the little girl’s body worked. Despite being so young, she reacted pleasantly to all the games they’d play together. He didn’t want to stop, and he surely enjoyed himself while playing with her- if anyone else found out about this, they’d have him imprisoned. “Do you want to see me go to prison?”
Her eyes widen and she shakes her head. “No Uncle Jung.”
“Do you want mummy to stop us playing together?”
She shakes her head.
“Then next time, don’t tell anyone. If you don’t like the games anymore, tell me and I’ll stop. But never ever tell anyone again, or I’ll be forced to punish you, and you don’t want to be punished right,”
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PLAY: Season 2: Part 2
[Taglist: @rizykim | @sexygrass | @jenjaemjam | @lvmarfc | @haechanistfriends | @markleefuckme ]
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alexblakeisgay · 2 months
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Bluey Mom (Ch. 4)
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Ship: Alex Blake/Emily Prentiss
Summary: Today's episode of Bluey Mom is called Boy/Girl Party.
(The adventures of Emily Prentiss as she navigates running the BAU, being a wife and mother, and her relationship with gender.)
Word Count: 1033
“Earth to Emily?” Alex said, waving a hand in front of Emily’s face to get her attention.
Emily shook herself back to awareness and realized that she’d missed a significant question. She offered a faint apologetic smile.
“Nervous?” Alex asked for the second time.
“Why would I be nervous?” Emily asked as if she were trying to convince herself.
With a little sigh, Alex wrapped her arms around Emily’s waist and rested her chin on her shoulder. “Because in spite of what you tell yourself about not needing your mother’s approval, you’ll be cut very deeply if she doesn’t show up for DJ today...”
She sighed, feeling mildly petulant about the fact that Alex knew her so well as to almost read her mind. “You don’t always have to be right,” she muttered, though there’s no heat behind it.
Alex just smiled softly, kissed her wife’s cheek, then said, “Well, let’s get this show on the road, then, Chili.” She pressed the orange onesie that was her Bluey’s Mom costume into Emily’s hands. She was already wearing the Bluey’s Dad costume. “I have to put the finishing touches on the cake, but whenever you’re ready, DJ wants to talk to you.”
And with that, the whirlwind that was Alex Miller preparing for a family get-together blew back out of the room without a single word of further information.
...
“Knock knock,” Emily said, pushing open the door a slight bit so she could speak to DJ. “Requesting permission to come aboard?”
“Hi, Momily,” DJ said, which she interpreted to mean permission to approach.
DJ said in the chair in front of her vanity, waiting for Emily to help brush her hair. One of the things that Emily had wanted most in her entire life was long hair, so when DJ had asked to grow out her hair, Emily had agreed, with Alex’s blessing. And one of their mother/daughter bonding rituals was Emily helping her do her hair for special events.
As she brushed DJ’s hair, she said, “Are you nervous?”
DJ shook her head, ever the fearless creature Emily wished she could be. “Nope! I’m just excited!” she said, meeting Emily’s gaze in the mirror and offering her an excited and gap-toothed smile, as she’d lost three teeth in short order.
“I’m so proud of you, Pickle,” Emily said, putting the girl’s hair into a milkmaid braid. “You’re the bravest person I know.”
Today, they were throwing a ‘gender reveal’ party to announce that she was nonbinary. It had been a very powerful decision for DJ to make at seven years old and Emily could hardly believe she’d made such a self-assured and deeply insightful daughter as to know herself that well.
“Do you think Grandma Liz will come?” DJ asked quietly.
Emily sighed heavily. “I don’t know, honey. I wish I could tell you that she will, but I honestly don’t know for sure.” When they’d invited Elizabeth to the ‘gender reveal’ party, Emily had made it quite clear to her that if she didn’t show up for DJ, she would no longer be welcome in their lives...but threatening Elizabeth never seemed to work out the way they’d anticipated.
...
“Hey...” Alex said gently, settling on the porch swing next to Emily. “You’re missing all the fun. DJ is trying to convince your mother to play that cookie face game...”
Emily barked out a laugh at the image.
Surprising, well...everyone...Elizabeth actually showed up for DJ’s party. She didn’t seem happy about it, but she came and that was the important part. At least, in Emily’s mind, given that she genuinely hadn’t expected her to come at all.
Alex rested a hand on Emily’s knee and said, “Penny for your thoughts...” Emily just shrugged vaguely, either not having the words or not wanting to say them. Studying her for a few moments, Alex eventually spoke, “It’s okay to be jealous...”
She sputtered for a few moments, before she managed to form coherent speech...a lame, “I’m not jealous!” A beat. “Jealous of who?”
“DJ...”
“Why would I be jealous of my own daughter?” she asked, seeming genuinely confused.
With a gentle smile, Alex said, “Because your mother showed up for her in ways she’s never shown up for you...” Emily’s smile fell and Alex knew she’d hit the nail on the head. “It’s okay for you to have mixed emotions today – I know you’re proud of Deej and want to support her, but you’re also hurt. And that’s okay.”
Emily surprised both of them by bursting into tears. “I’m sorry,” she said between sobs, “I didn’t want to make this about me, but...” Wordlessly, Alex pulled her into a tender embrace. “Why couldn’t she do this for me!?” Emily sniffled, “All I ever wanted was mother who loved me and supported me...”
“I know,” Alex soothed, rubbing a gentle hand up and down her back. “You deserved that and it’s not right or fair that your mother couldn’t hold space for you in that way. But DJ will never for a single second experience that because she has the best Momily in the whole entire world.”
Pulling back from the embrace slightly, Emily met her gaze and asked, “Do you really think so?”
She nodded. “That kid idolizes you. Watching you two together fills my heart with joy because I know she has the kind of relationship with you that every child deserves. It’s an honour to be witness to it.”
Blushing, Emily leaned in for a quick kiss. “She’s pretty lucky to have you too.”
Alex just laughed, kissed her again, then stood, drawing Emily to her feet too. “Now, let’s get back in there because if anyone is going to convince your mother to look ridiculous playing that cookie game, it’s DJ and I have a feeling you won’t want to miss it.
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moremaybank · 2 years
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— jj maybank masterlist ⭑𓂃
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fics !
feast day [18+]
no one has ever wanted to go down on you. jj intends to rectify that.
indulge [18+]
john b only had one rule for jj; jj could not, under any circumstances, touch his sister. unfortunately for john b, jj has never shied away from breaking the rules.
hate the club
after your breakup with jj, you go through the motions as you try to navigate your life with him no longer part of it. (based on the song “hate the club” by kehlani)
hush [18+]
jj has to keep you quiet while your older brother's in the next room.
f&mu [18+]
it was the law of the jungle — kooks and pogues rarely got along — and this proved true for you and jj. however, that didn't stop the two of you from showing each other just how deep that hatred ran. (based on the song "f&mu" by kehlani)
wound up [18+]
you've had a bad week and jj makes you feel better.
dinner date
jj comes home late when you two have a date night planned and he tries to make it up to you.
cute drunk
jj takes care of you when you're drunk.
scored [18+]
jj cheers you up after your favourite football team loses their first game in the world cup.
reflections [18+]
jj surprises you when you two go on a romantic trip for the weekend.
role reversal [18+]
typically, jj is the one in control in bed. this time, however, you take the reigns.
a taste of both worlds [18+]
jj and rafe both find out that you've been seeing the other behind their backs. what are they supposed to do now?
safe haven [18+]
jj has an outburst at the chateau after a long and trying day, and you, his secret girlfriend, come to quell his rage.
pogue princess [18+]
jj gets into a fight with rafe while defending you. you go off at him because he's always so reckless with his life, and it leads jj to confess something you never would have expected.
can i [18+]
the more you drown in each other, the harder it is for you and jj to respect the boundary that is 'friends with benefits.' (based on the song "can i" by kehlani)
i'll go anywhere you go
your best friend jj gives you a token to show you how much he treasures you.
wet [18+]
shower sex with jj after a stressful day.
melt
snapshots of your swoon-worthy relationship with jj (based on the song “melt” by kehlani)
feature me [18+]
your breakup with rafe leaves you single and alone on valentine's day. you run into jj at a bar, and things get heated. (based on the song "feature me" by flo)
greedy [18+]
an ode to breeding kink!jj.
dangerous games [18+]
jj refuses to take the bait when you give him a tempting offer. you both agree on a compromise, but you're left pleasantly surprised with how things turn out.
birthday boy [18+]
you wake jj up on his birthday.
stake your claim [18+]
jj isn’t happy when he finds out you’ve been sleeping with other people on the island, so he’s sure to set the record straight. you’re his, and his only.
in between [18+]
best friends since the first grade, it was only inevitable that you and jj would fall for each other. however, when a single night suddenly changes things between you, you’re both left wondering if you ever should’ve tried to cross the line at all.
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fic events !
obx week '23, kinktober '23
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blurbs !
slightly overprotective bestfriend!jj
bestfriend!jj adoring your brown eyes
dirty talk with jj [18+]
riding jj [18+
switch!jj [18+]
rough sex with jj [18+]
dad!jj and your daughter surprise you for mother’s day
stress relief [18+]
jj x touch starved!reader
find the rest in concepts, concepts (two) dad!jj masterlist
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headcanons !
pregnancy headcanons
best friend!jj pining headcanons
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prompts !
“i can’t pull out when your legs are wrapped around me like that.” [18+]
“first one to cum loses.” [18+]
“what’s wrong? why’d you stop?” + “nothing’s wrong. i just wanted to take a second to admire how beautiful you are.” [18+]
“i’ll be gentle, baby. don’t worry.” [18+]
“if i have to pull over, you’ll be walking funny for the next week.” [18+]
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tag !
#jj maybank
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coeurdastronaute · 2 years
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Christmas, Day 39 (Vegas)
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Previously on Day 38
Vegas Christmas
“Did I mention how beautiful you look?” 
“Once or twice,” Lexa shrugged, blushing at the compliment. 
“I don’t tell you that enough,” Clarke decided, her arms wrapping around her wife’s shoulders. “But you are absolutely exquisite. You are seriously the most beautiful woman who has ever existed. It’s honestly a crime and frankly I feel a little tricked into marrying you.” 
“It wasn’t my looks that got you to marry me,” she tsk’d spinning them around the ballroom floor. “It was the copious amount of tequila.”
“It was your beauty, I just used the alcohol as an excuse.” 
“Are you drunk right now?” 
“No,” Clarke sighed, letting her head lull back slightly as they danced. “I guess I just never get used to feeling like a princess.” 
“You are one.” 
“And my prince charming drags me to balls just to remind me of such from time to time.” 
“Hey, I said we could leave or bail completely. You never take me up on that offer,” Lexa sighed. 
The music stopped before another song started and she took the moment to kiss her wife-- something she never got sick of calling Clarke-- and hold her a little tighter. For the first time in her life, she was grateful for her parents incessant needs to donate and be on boards for charity. These had been the bane of her existence growing up, and now, even when she was joking that they could always bail, she accepted every invitation because it meant Clarke in a gown and it meant dancing and a night out. 
“You do look beautiful,” Clarke whispered again, taking a second to wipe lipstick from Lexa’s lip, smiling at her handiwork. 
“Just trying to be presentable enough that you’ll take me out.”
“As if I’d leave you home.” 
Lexa’s hand gripped her hip and moved her around when she caught her mother’s eye and tried to avoid that as much as possible. She’d grown, certainly, but somethings were beyond her ability to rise against often. 
“You sure you don’t want to get out of here?” Lexa murmured. 
“May I cut in?” 
Lexa recognized the voice and sighed. She’d been caught and there was truly no escaping her parents. 
“You look beautiful, Clarke,” her father smiled warmly, taking her hands. “You look great as well, Lex. Your mother is looking for you.” 
“Thanks, Pops,” she sighed and earned a soft smile of encouragement from her wife. “I’ll be back for you.” 
“I’m sure I can out-dance you any day.” 
“I’ll be the judge of that,” Clarke played along, politely moving with him. 
Begrudgingly, Lexa made her way over to the wall where her mother waited, surrounded by a gaggle of Garden Club ladies. Or was it symphony donors. Or maybe just strangers that she charmed for fun. 
“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to catch up with my daughter.” 
“Oh, she’s beautiful. Looks so much like you.”
“Stunning.”
“And a newlywed.” 
The chorus of comments made Lexa uncomfortable, but she held out her arm for her mother to take and inhaled a big breath, politely smiling at the women at the table. 
“Thank God you saved me. I was getting roped into some debutant training thing. Your timing couldn’t have been better.”
“Dad snagged my wife, said you wanted to speak with me.” 
“Well hello mother, how are you?” she mimicked a polite conversation. “You look amazing. How was the Cayman Islands? Did you finish that book I lent you?” 
“Okay, I get it,” Lexa rolled her eyes and smiled. “Well, what's the answer?” 
“I’m well. Of course I look amazing. The islands were wonderful, your father got sunburnt the second day. And yes, the book was delightful, you can pick it up when you come over for dinner next week. And yes, that was also on your schedule so don’t look surprised.” 
Caught and entirely outwitted, Lexa took a glass of champagne as it floated around and handed it over before stationing them near the dancefloor, watching the other pair navigate the dancefloor. Lexa smiled into her glass as her wife laughed at something her father-in-law said before responding eagerly. 
“I need to talk to you about Christmas,” her mother finally murmured. 
“You know we’re staying home.” 
“The gift I want to give you.” 
“We can’t accept something that large.” 
“It’s symbolic. It’s important that we help you, and we know you want kids.” 
“We’re not sure we want them yet,” Lexa nudged a tile with her foot. 
“There’s no better time to start.” 
“Can’t you get us like box seats to the Knicks or something?” she sighed. “A boat maybe. Clarke would hate a boat. Get us towels. People always need towels.” 
“Have you at least spoken with Clarke about our offer?” 
“It hasn’t come up.” 
“Why not?” 
“Well, Mom, it’s kind of awkward to talk to your wife about your parents offering to impregnate her.” 
“That is not what we offered.” 
“Basically.” 
“You need to reframe that. We are simply offering you the financial support to pursue IVF.” 
“We’ll figure it out ourselves.”
“You are so stubborn. It’s Christmas for Chrissake.” 
Lexa grinned into her glass and received a glare and heavy sigh. She loved that her mother and father were so supportive. She loved that they wanted to be involved despite it being too much sometimes. There was no middle ground and she wanted that very badly, but there involvement was better than indifference, Clarke would remind her. 
“It’s a very kind offer,” Lexa began, trying to soften her mother to understand. “It’s beyond kind. It’s just… this is my family, and I want to be able to handle my family on my own. When we are ready, Clarke and I will discuss how we are going to have a child. And if we decide that it is a good idea, we will ask you for your help. But you can’t just give us money for Christmas and expect a baby by this time next years.” 
“It’d be nice though, wouldn’t it?” 
Lexa nodded. 
Some nights she was 100% ready for a kid. Others, she enjoyed still getting to know her wife and having them just be themselves. It wasn’t the right time, and she knew that. 
“Well now I don’t know what to get you, and I’m not getting you towels.” 
“Clarke would never admit it and would never let me buy it, but there’s this very expensive coffee maker I know she’d love.” 
“Perfect. Send it to Diane.” 
Lexa nodded and earned a hug from her mother who didn’t let go, but held her shoulders as she stared at her firmly. 
“You are going to be an amazing mother.” 
She hadn’t meant to, but Lexa held her breath at the words and how lovely her mom looked at her when she said it. 
“I don’t know…”
“I have no doubt you will be great. You’ve been nothing but great at anything you do since the day you were born. And I can promise to not meddle in your family. Things have been going well, and I understand what it means to have your own unit.” 
“Thanks, Mom.” 
“Right,” she nodded, wiping a tear from her own cheek and smiling. “I suspect you should go rescue your wife. She can barely stop wincing from how much your father has stepped on her feet.”
Before she moved though, Lexa hugged her mother again. 
“Merry Christmas, Mom. Thanks for… just thanks.” 
A hand rubbed her back before she broke away without looking. It’d be too much. Instead, she walked across the dance floor. 
“I believe you have something of mine,” Lexa tapped her father on the shoulder.
“What’s the verdict, Clarke?” he stared at his dancing partner. “Put her to shame didn’t I?” 
“Overwhelmingly. I’m afraid you set the bar very high.”
“See you in a bit,” he patted his daughter’s shoulder, self-satisfied and proud, puffed up with the news. 
Lexa put her hands on her wife and moved her expertly. She may have hated it, but she knew who the real winner of this battle was. 
“Just to be sure, you said that to make him go away, right?” 
“There’s no one I ever want to dance with. Just you,” Clarke promised, earning a kiss. “Everything okay?” 
“Yeah, Mom wanted to impregnate you for Christmas.” 
“Um, okay. I was actually thinking that’s more of a President’s day kind of thing, but if we’re going to move it up…”
“Shut up,” Lexa chuckled, holding her closer. “They offered money for us to explore our options.” 
“They’re crowdfunding my uterus?” she furrowed “For Christmas?” 
“Yeah, but I told her I’d be the only one impregnating you.” 
“Okay please stop saying that word.” 
Lexa smiled, earning a confused look as Clarke tried to piece it all together. It was delicate and her wife was not the best at conveying information, plus she was notoriously difficult to discern sarcasm with. Even for Clarke who was fluent in Lexa. 
“They offered us money to have a baby?” 
“Not like a bribe, but just the money to get started if we wanted.” 
“Oh.” 
“Yeah, but I told them we’d figure it out ourselves and include them if we needed help. She took it… she took it well, actually. And now we’re getting that coffee maker I wanted that you said was too expensive.” 
“Glad my uterus benefited the apartment.” 
Clarke tugged her closer and rested her chin on Lexa’s shoulder. Softly, they moved around, lost to all the Christmas cheer radiating everywhere. They’d already had the fancy dinner. They’d already donated. All that was left was this moment. 
“I want kids with you. I just… I still want it to be just us for a little longer.” 
“Me too,” Lexa nodded, smiling that they shared the same thought. “I’m insanely greedy when it comes to you. I was downright rabid when Dad was dancing with you.” 
“Shut up.” 
“Should we get home before they corner us and demand we see them for dinner?” 
“I love your parents, but yeah, let’s escape. We gave the a lot of face time this holiday season.”
In all of her life, Lexa wasn’t sure she’d ever loved anyone as much as her wife in this moment, agreeing to sneak out of an event early, but also the person who had put up with dinner’s and charities and all kinds of nonsense during the season. 
“Have to hurry. Our car will be a pumpkin soon, princess.” 
“I wouldn’t mind losing my shoes,” Clarke chuckled as Lexa tugged her toward an exit. 
XXXXXXXXXX
The apartment that they settled into was modest, at least in the sense of Lexa’s family. It wasn’t huge, but it was in a nice part of town, quiet and quaint and a little bit of a hike from the Woods estate, for good reason-- to keep the visits to a minimum, though Lexa would never admit it when they spoke to the realtor and outlined a radius. 
But it was theirs and it was wonderfully decked out in holiday cheer. Garland hung from every wall, dipping into the giant windows. Lights wound themselves along the bannisters and curtain rods while a tree sat, squat and glowing in a corner. Lexa’s bike was still pressed up against the wall, taking up more space than Clarke would have liked. The kitchen was tiny and crowded, made worse so by a delivery just a few days ago of a giant coffee maker, though no one was going to complain about lack of counter space because it was secretly what they both wanted. 
Clarke stretched, humming quietly before rolling over and slipping her arms around her wife. Lexa grumbled back, pulling her tighter. 
“There are presents.” 
“No, you didn’t get anything,” Lexa disagreed. “Too naughty.” 
“There must be some mistake. I’m an angel.” 
“You wake up your wife too early. It’s a huge tick against you.” 
“Presents,” Clarke whispered, earning a smile though Lexa didn’t move at all. 
It was wonderfully perfect, the moment she was having. If only every time she got drunk could turn out like this. 
What Lexa didn’t know was that under the tree was a homemade album she’d pieced together from their original wedding along with the pictures of the wedding her family threw on their one year anniversary, and Clarke was excited to share. 
“Merry Christmas, love. Can we sleep some more?” 
“Yeah, we don’t have plans today.” 
“Oh no,” Lexa shook her head and rolled around, tucking herself under Clarke's chin. “We have plenty of plans, they’re just our plans.”
“True.” 
“Merry Christmas, Lex,” Clarke whispered, rubbing her back.
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kwonhoshi0 · 3 years
Text
𝐞𝐫𝐢 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | h.c
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navigation | requests : open | 9th of april 2021
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pairing : bakugou, todoroki x gn!reader
genre : fluff
themes : established relationship, 
note : part 1 you’re the daughter of aizawa [adopted] > quirk telekinesis<
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> they obviously knows your eraser heads daughter but now he basically has another daughter which they aren't exactly aware of at first
> you visited eri with your dad after helping rescue her since all your quirks are mental quirks
> you immediately connected with the girl, she isn’t a loud snotty ipad kid but her lack of personality bothered you
> you wanted to know her interests, what she loves and hates, her favourite foods and least favourites
> but she doesn’t know herself and you were determined to find out
> so when you were free you hung out with eri trying to connect with her and get her to open up
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[ bakugou ]
> you obviously told katsuki about eri but he never had time to properly meet the girl
> plus aizawa was afraid of him scaring her
> but weirdly the opposite happened?
> you were drawing with eri talking about your cool quirks and classmates
> she was weary at first but since aizawa was busy on patrol and mirio wasn’t on campus you took her to the dorms since being alone in the house probably wouldn’t fun and this way she won’t be alone for a second
> you wanted to try get her to sleep a little early tonight since every time she comes over you notice her horrible sleeping pattern, much like yours
> bakugou had gotten back from training when you arrived with eri after so as you laughed and drew he was showering
> “oi y/n- oh” he noticed the little grey haired girl laying her head on your lap as she scribbled on a piece of paper
> without you looking he took a picture of the scene smiling to himself slightly
> he .. quietly ?? sat in front of the girl and helped her draw your classmates adding a couple demonic features such as denki’s unmistakable “yayy” face
> “hey eri this is bakugou” he held out his hand for the girl “hi eri” she took as many of his fingers as she could with her little hand and shook it “hello bakugou”
> he didn’t understand how she was feeling since she had gone through too much for anyone to handle never mind a child
> but seeing her smile and feel comfortable around you made him realise how much effort you really put in with her
> you smiled at the little interaction not seeing his quiet side around children
> he decided to go up to his dorms to get a couple blankets after you hinted at warm blankets and watching movies to her
> but when he came back downstairs the girl was laying in your lap fast asleep as you laid on the sofa
> he placed a blanket over the two of you turning off the tv and dimming the lights slightly
> the others were around the common room and when they saw bakugou doing that mfers were so ready to scream until he told them he’ll blow their heads off if they wake you up
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[ todoroki ]
> “is she your secret sister” todoroki... baby there’s no secret- nvm
> you were in your dorm room teaching her how to play genshin when he had just come back from endeavors agency
> he came to say hi but he heard your voice along with a little girl and got confused
> he heard of eri from midoriya but he had non idea she’d be staying with the aizawa’s 
> he will think of all the possibilities before finally going to you
> “y/n?” 
> “hi shoto..oh midoriya told you about eri right?”
> poor boy had no idea how to act, he nodded as you told him to sit down
> he’s always had this fear of children since he didn’t have great parents he didn’t want to become like his father, even if he knew that would’t happen it still worried him from the amount of times people have told him he’s like endeavor
> “hello eri” you handed him the controller 
> he was very careful around her but also noticed how comfortable she is with you and since midoriya told him about her past he found comfort in her comfort in you? 
> a child who hasn’t been able to trust anyone her whole life to trusting you within a couple weeks made him smile
> after a couple hours of playing and teaching her new moves he went downstairs to grab a drink and food for you three
> when he got back you had put on a movie and she was slowly nodding off against your knee
> so he wrapped a blanket around you three and put on a movie to fall asleep to
> “y/n would you want children?”
> “maybe, or maybe i’ll just be the hot aunt/uncle”
> man looked at you puzzled as fuck before saying in his monotone voice “i’d like to adopt with you”
> 😐😐😐
> “shoto we’re-”
> “yeah i realised after i said that, we can wait”
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A/N :
LOLL SHSJ
taglist : @todoroki-shoto-is-life @blazedbakugou @luluwiie @blue-gold-demigod-clouds @gazelle-des-pres @gaysimpsstuff @blackestpinkworld
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fencecollapsed · 2 years
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Out of curiosity, if you had to rank the Nightmare Time stories on a scale of 1-12 (because that's how many there are), how would you rank them?
mmm okay I did do this before, right after Yellow Jacket first premiered in November, buuuuut I am a fickle pickle and my opinions very much change with time SO. this'll be my new one! I'll give some commentary too cuz why not (the commentary got long woops)
Honey Queen. GOD this story is great. Something about it not getting supernatural until the very end but still being wild and intense throughout, it carries itself through the character conflict really well. The sacrifice reveal is foreshadowed excellently. I like the depth added to Linda and I fuckin love. That this is another one of those "gleefully fucked up" type stories there's just something really great to me about watching these two terrible people - who are terrible for different reasons but they are Both Awful - fuck each other up for an hour and they both die terribly. Fantastic, I love it. The class commentary is great. The pageant commentary is great. The ending is my second favorite ending in all of Hatchetfield, behind TGWDLM, it has that effective dread and inevitability that hooked me into the series in the first place. It's really good. Honey Queen is really fucking good.
Watcher World. Bill Woodward my BELOVED this story is excellent. I know people say Yellow Jacket would make a great movie and I agree but god, Watcher World with the right budget? I'd kill to see it. The setting has a really great atmosphere I would LOVE to see visually depicted, it would add so much to the tone. I love the deeper look into Bill and Alice's relationship. I love how nuanced it really is, how - again - character driven this story is and how that's what carries the fucked up horror aspect. I love every moment you can feel Bill really trying, and his frustration not being able to reach Alice, and Alice's stress and bitterness and frustration at not being understood. Not feeling in control of her life because she had to be wrapped up in their divorce. I think they could've given her a better moment of showing that she really does love her dad, just so it didn't feel quite as one sided, but it still works. Alice is an angry teenager and her feelings are complex and misdirected. The way they butt heads feels realistic, it feels like a real, difficult father/daughter relationship. I love that the story doesn’t paint either as “in the wrong” because they’re both just. Flawed individuals stuck in a tough situation. They don’t know how to navigate it. They picked the Worst Possible Place to try and navigate it in. The way the building tension between Bill and Alice coincides with the building feeling of danger in the setting as the story goes on is just. Excellent. I Iove it.
Forever and Always. I'm accounting for my biases here, when I really think about it I do have mixed feelings on this story writing-wise but I'll admit I'm a weak man, my love for Paul Matthews in any capacity overpowers me. I genuinely like the clone/android concept - I've said before that I think Paul and Emma are the only characters you could do that with, it Makes Sense to me. I like the bits of Real Emma we get (she’s great) and I like how they show that Emdroid and Emma aren't the same person but they definitely think alike. I like the way it connects to Time Bastard, I like the murder couple. Buuuuut I get that the addition of clones and androids kinda muddies the overall lore - s1 ep2 in general is a lot more tech/sci-fi vibes than anything else in the Hatchetfield canon I think. It's a complicated concept we're not likely to see again, and if we did it'd take away from chances to explore the real Paul and Emma, and nobody wants that. Also the clone Pauls REALLY feel tacked on last minute. It's not built up to at all there's no foreshadowing for a reveal like that, it feels like they added it so the ending would make a little more sense. They really could've executed that part better. I still think it's fun though! I know my biases.
Jane's A Car. Tomothy Carfucker Houston I'm not sorry for making fun of you actually cuz it's still funny* BUT this story is genuinely Really Good. Like. It's a really solid character study, it explores Tom and his grief and his relationships really really well. I liked getting a glimpse at Jane, I'm really curious about her and how she was when she Wasn't stuck in a car for a year, because that absolutely affected her psyche. Becky and Tim's interactions are really sweet, I like their budding little family and I'd love to see it grow more. The sweet, soft moments in this story really really work. I like the running theme of happiness and how Tom is almost afraid of it, but right on the verge of allowing himself to be happy. It makes the uncontrollable downward spiral once Jane comes back really work. My only real critique is I think this story would've benefited from Emma's presence. At least a scene or two. It would have to be longer to fit her in but I think adding her would've given the story more compelling (and kinda necessary imo) layers. Still, I like it! JAC is great. (**I'm allowed to make fun of the car sex okay I played Tom in a liveread of JAC once I've Performed the car sex I have the right-)
Abstinence Camp. God this story is fucking ridiculous, it's so fun. The Jerries are an unhinged riot, Jon and Kim as a repressed horny duo is a gift we did not deserve and I like their characters in this more than I should. They're so wild. Steph and Pete are pretty cute. I'm a big fan of the subversion of views on sex in slashers, it's fun and it's clever. I have a Few qualms with the Axe-Man himself, I think if his portrayal was just a little different it'd be better, but that might just be me.
Yellow Jacket. Good story! Very cinematic! I love more of a look at the California Trio's dynamic. Hannah and Ethan are great, loved seeing more of them. I completely understand why Lex was separated for most of the story, there's a good reason for that definitely but. God. I wish we could get more of her. Every bit of her is so good every glimpse at her relationships is So Good and there's never enough. It's almost a detriment, that every story with Lex in it never feels like it has enough of her and just leaves me a little disappointed. I want more of her. I want more of her and Hannah actually together. The lore is interesting, Otho's a little bitch he's so creepy it's great, and I am so interested in Webby and why she operates the way she does. Good story.
Killer Track. I love this concept and I love the execution, this story really sold me on Holloway and Duke, they're both great characters, I love their relationship, I cannot wait to see more of them. They could’ve done a little more with Rose, she’s a bit flat and I wish she wasn’t, I love her vibes. Bryce sells it regardless, she’s great. Otherwise I don’t have much else to say on this one, I enjoyed it, it’s good.
The Witch In the Web. A solid lore story! Great expansion of Hannah's powers and what she knows and sees, but I wish it explored her as a person a little more. The introduction of Miss Holloway is great, she was so compelling right off the bat and she's only gotten moreso. This one would make a great movie, too. It works super well in expanding the world building and town backstory and setting up what more is on the way. I do have... slightly complex feelings on how complicated the lore of Hatchetfield has gotten, and they started here. Not negative feelings, exactly. Just complicated. Also on first watch I was disappointed that Lex was written out, and as much as I understand why she was, that never really went away djskfnd that's another bias thing, I miss her.
Time Bastard. Another good "gleefully fucked up" story <3 I like Ted as a punching bag I like when he suffers djskjfd sorry to the Ted fans out there, yall are valid and I love ya but. I think it's funny. The ending is the strongest part of it to me, though, and sitting through the whole thing as a singular story is less appealing imo. I can't put it into words really, it's just not one I'm really interested in. Again, I like how it ties together with F&A, they do that very well, those two are most fun to watch as a unit.
The Hatchetfield Ape-Man. It being this low might give the impression I don't like this story but I DO it's definitely the funniest of them. Hidgens is a fucking riot, I was personally much more entertained by him in this than in TGWDLM. His and Ted's dynamic is fucking hysterical. Conceptually it's just. Ridiculous. They just did Tarzan but made it more murdery it's so funny. It's strongest comedy wise for sure, it's just another I don't think about much.
Daddy. Honestly I don't dislike this story, again, conceptually it's ridiculous, but it the execution worked fairly well and I like how it genuinely expanded Frank as a character, he's way more compelling than he was in BF and I Liked him in BF. He's good here, I like him, I'm invested. I simply. Do Not like Sherman. At all. He's fucking annoying and he makes me uncomfortable and he sure is a big presence in this story. My biases are negative too.
Perky's Buds. I wrote an essay on this one yall know how I feel.
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deadmunds-ghostbee · 3 years
Note
WOT are your thoughts/predictions for mary? i love her sm as she already is in the book, and she’s one of the best parental figures in the series, but given what they’ve hinted on as her backstory for the show, i’m kinda curious if she’ll have an arc of her own 👀
Ahh hi I’m so glad we have this Mary Sharma safe space to discuss her 😌💜
I think given the fact that even Newton has an arc, if she doesn’t have something it would be nothing short of an atrocity that I would waste no time gathering a mob to storm Netflix HQ for.
I have so many thoughts.
aanyway RANT BELOW ⬇️😄
We know Lady D is taking a strong interest in supervising kathony + Edwina activities. And since we didn’t see Mary at the ascot (from pap pics) it is interesting because last season the moms play that huge part of guiding their girls through the market. Without her being there it spurs a couple of thoughts:
Namely, how soon has it been since her husband died? How much is she still grieving? What is her relationship with society? She must have loved the man to run away from her life, but did she really hate the constraints of society? Or was okay at navigating and dealing with it?
The biggest question mark about her is why would she lead her daughters back in an environment she ran away from? The most obvious reason is necessity bc of lack of wealth, but surely Edwina could find just as good as good of a match with just as much money from where they came from? How soon has her father, the earl died (if all that stuff they edited out of her bio still rings true) and how fraught was that relationship?
I’ve also seen people mention that she might have a sister in the ton with a daughter but this cast of characters is so large idek how they’d handle all that 😆
Since it’s been years since the scandal how much of the ton will remember her/it? Is it an impediment on Edwina finding a match? She went to that ball so clearly she shows up to society events so she isn’t trying to hide but I can see her being nervous about it given the circumstances.
So I would say my best guess about her is
1. Grief (a HUGE recurring theme this season I’d think bc Kathony and deadmund and the fact that pens dad just died) hopefully she has her moments with Kate and Edwina about this. More on this later.
2. How SHE feels about this proposed “head over heart” dichotomy since she seemed to follow her heart and is now dealing with the consequences. Charitha mentions pressure to marry well or be perfect—where does that come from? Both Edwina and Kate seem dead set on her getting a love match, which I assume they want bc of the good relationship between Mary and their father. I would characterize her as being encouraging for them to find love but it presents an interesting repeating of history for her.
ALSO since there’s been a lot of talk of Edwina’s powerful storyline, whether Edwina goes gay or is involved with a man (Theo sharpe watch ur fuckin back I stg) it would probably very closely parallel what Mary has already gone through, abandoning what’s conventional to have what she wants. So maybe her and Edwina relationship will be really big in later episodes while Kathony are fucking!!
Now these are both very vague things. A lot of internal conflict and not much to do since it seems Lady D and QC are taking such a large interest in the Sharmas on the market. Of course she’ll be there for it, but I think there’s something else they could mine for her.
In my rants I’ve often wondered how/where Violet plays into all of this? It seems like her and Daph are gonna have a sit down and be like okay Daphne will take care of Anthony (a good choice actually bc I don’t think Vi and A could actually manage this with their relationship at the moment.) and Violet will take Eloise.
But what is Eloise really like on the market when it seems that she will mostly be playing mystery with LW and maybe (?) wrapped up in some activism thing?? That’s such a downgrade than Violets role last season imo.
The connection here I think is that a loss of Edmund and Mary with her husband will really connect them. And Violet will be old enough to remember a scandal if it happened. So maybe I’m clowning a bit but I’d like to see a relationship forged between them! But that also goes for the other older women too! The main thing that really ties all these different matriarchs in the ton is their relationship with grief, losing their husbands, and taking their own initiative. Portia will have to basically fend for herself and the girls (🤪🤪🤪) and deal with that loss. The queens is losing her husband even tho she’s literally in front of him and she’s compensating by using people as playthings. Lady D has been great on her own for a while it seems, but she once lost people she loved too and built herself back up. I think it would be a FLAGRANT oversight if they didn’t consider these connections in some way. Especially since the older women are the backbone of this show. The rest of the cast varies a lot talent-wise and the show would fall apart without them.
So for Mary’s arc is still very blurry to me but taking all of this I expect it to be very involved with her scandal, Edwina, and something with the other mothers. Also kate too ofc but that relationship im seeing less to really develop there.
This answer was probably way too long/analytical and I may be clowning a bit as a Mary stan, but I have faith that the writers won’t just discard her. The other older women had too much to do s1 to completely let Mary fly by the wayside when all this material is here.
Thanks so much for the ask!! I’d been wondering the same thing myself and writing it down crystallized it for me! Fuck I love themes and arcs 😩
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Text
Title: Rumor Has It {Epilogue}
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Chris Evans x Famous Reader Uriah “Riah” Tyler
Warning: Cursing, Plot, Fluff, 
Words: 2.2k
Summary: You and Chris have been married for four years after a whirlwind romance. You are both happy and trying to navigate marriage in the public eye while balancing your successful careers. In the entertainment industry, not everything is as it seems, the flash of a camera lens impairs vision. As scandal and flashing lights put a strain on your once fairytale marriage is it possible your Hollywood marriage can stand the test of the rumor mill?
**Inspired by a video seen of Chris and his co-star Ana De Armas on their press tour for Knives Out at TIFF where she kept touching his chest and face standing about five inches apart.
NOTE: DO NOT COME FOR ME. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.
**Loosely Edited/Proofread**
Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤️❤️
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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If the public ripped Chris a new asshole when the odds seemed ever not in his favor, they massacred Ana once the facts were revealed. When it came out just how low Ana had gone in her efforts to get your husband, the world turned into a colder place. The tabloids ran endless pieces on what a horrible person she was. They were relentless when it came to nitpicking not just her behavior and actions, but they even went in on her acting. You could have said you felt bad for her, but you didn’t. Not one bit.
 The support that came out for you and Chris was heartwarming. Everyone seemed to want to wrap the two of you in a cocoon of support and love. You received well-wishes from fans and supporters, and even celebs sent floral arrangements, all expressing their support for you. The narrative that was spun was the diabolical plot of Ana and jilted ex Christiano who concocted a plot that was to end with Ana getting Chris and Christiano kidnapping you. Most of the details were released to the press, though you and Chris had both tried to keep as much of it under wraps as possible. Neither one of you wanted to continue dealing with it. You just wanted to move forward and focus on better things—happier things.
 Because Christiano had broken into your home and attempted to cause harm to its residents, Chris’s actions were seen as self-defense, and Chrisnao’s death ruled an accidental result of self-defense. Though the White family were distraught once they were faced with the severity of Christiano’s actions and continued plans, they didn’t have the heart to put you through any further trauma. You’d suspected it was Christina’s doing, and a floral arrangement from her a few weeks after the incident proved your suspicions.
 You’d been friends with her first, and it was a friendship that survived the end of your relationship with Christiano. This was her way of letting it be known that her brother did wrong. A month after the incident, her statement shed light on Christiano’s mental health and revealed he’d been struggling for several years since the break-up. She made no apologies for his actions and didn’t try to make him seem like a victim. She was adamant about letting the full truth be seen. She did offer an apology to you, Chris, your families, and your children.
 For her part in the plot, her actions of physically trying to kill you, not knowing you pregnant at the time, was what sealed Ana’s fate. She was sentenced to jail, and it wasn’t entirely the sentence of a privileged woman. It was one of a criminal who showed no remorse for their actions. She was given nine years behind bars, and because she was living and working in the US on a visa rather than citizenship, after the completion of her sentence, she would be deported to Spain. 
Even film studios were distancing themselves from her at record speed. All the roles she had been considered for quickly changed their views and voiced wanting you to have the roles. It was sort of poetic to you. She hated you because you were black, and you didn’t deserve all you had, including your career and husband. In the end, she was the absolute furthest from your husband, and now everything that was hers would be yours.
 You and Chris were on a flight to Massachusetts two days after the incident. Neither of you were suspects; there was no reason for you to remain in LA, so you quietly packed up what you wanted and made arrangements to pack up the house for the foreseeable future, then went where both of you felt like you belonged. You left any details about your career plans to your manager to close. Everyone seemed to understand the want you had to step back from work and Hollywood, especially when the news was out that you were going to be parents.
 That was the only thing Chris seemed to care about. He was on a mission to keep you comfortable, happy, and taken care of. From the minute he carried you over the threshold of the home he’d built for you, it felt like a fresh start, a new beginning meant just for the five of you.
 He was there beside you every morning, patting your back as you vomited because of your morning sickness until you were four and a half months along. He was there for every single appointment. He read every book you did to prepare for the remainder of your pregnancy and life with twins. He was there preparing you lunch every afternoon, there massaging your feet and back at the end of every night. He was there to lather on the cocoa and shea butter to your growing belly. He was there to compliment every stretch mark you received because of your quickly stretching skin. He was there to kiss each of them while telling you how much he loved each and every tiger stripe, as he called them. He was even there for you when none of your clothes fit you, and he offered you all his cable-knit sweaters, hoodies, sweatpants, and button-downs.
 When your belly became so big you couldn’t see your feet; he put your shoes on for you. When you couldn’t get up without looking like a beached whale, Chris was there to carry you wherever you wanted to go. There rarely went an hour that went by where he didn’t strip you to worship your body as if you were his scripture, and he worshiped you and you alone. Not a day passed where you didn’t feel loved, desired, and protected.
 Through it all, you decided that therapy was beneficial and a powerful enough tool to bring you back together that you wanted to continue. Dr. Danquah was thrilled having the two of you as clients again and, because of your progress, saw no need for you to see her more than twice a month to keep the lines of communication and the roots of love and passion ever strong. The love you felt for Chris and the connection you felt to each other only deepened throughout your pregnancy.
 Just when you thought you couldn’t love him anymore, he did something to prove you wrong. Every day you found something more to love. If it wasn’t his fun-loving nature that was on display every time he played with Dodger, it was his outdoorsy adventurism with the way he bounded from the bed once the sun rose to drag you on another of his nature walks so he could photograph the trees or the hills. If it wasn’t his romantic side with how he prepared candlelit baths every night that posed as a prequel to dinner by candlelight and the most passionate session of lovemaking, it was his undercover, not so undercover freak antics with him wanting to christen every single room in the house and a few spots outdoors with your lovemaking. At nights when he thought you were sleeping, you heard him talking to the babies as he caressed your stomach. That was what you loved most. His sheer love, devotion, and adoration for his children and the strong protector that resided in him. he was the only one for you.
 “Push Riah.”
 “Don’t fucking tell me to push. You push!”
 Chris snorted, and you wanted to kill him. His hands rubbed your belly before he kissed your jaw from his position behind you in the tub in your bathroom.
 “I can push with you, but you have the babies in you. You have to show them the way.”
 You groaned, and it echoed in the hallowed bathroom.
 “You can do this, Uriah,” Lisa encouraged, giving your shoulder a firm squeeze.
 You looked across to your mother, who nodded, hoping to steel your nerve. Chris kissed your ear.
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“Come on, dragonfly. You got this. Bring our babies into the world so we can spoil them.”
 And you can change all the poop diapers?”
 Chris snorted again. “I don’t recall making any such promise.”
 You squeezed his hand with everything you had. He groaned and hissed from the pain.
 “Ah, ah, wow. Okay, I see my error. Yes, all poop diapers that you don’t want.” You released his hand, letting him relax somewhat.
 “Use that, baby. I know it’s hard. I know it hurts, and I’m sorry.”
 “This is your fault,” you pointedly accused.
 “Yes. My fault. I take full blame. I’m sorry.”
 “You owe me so big for this, Evans.”
 He nodded, agreeing with you. that was when the pain intensified at levels that made you regret choosing a natural birth at home.
 “Oh fuckity, fuck. So big, Evans!”
 “You’re crowning. Do you want to come over here and catch your baby, dad?”
 Chris moved from behind you and got into position between your legs. His eyes widened, clearly seeing the baby’s head. The excitement around you was palpable, and it gave you a burst of energy to get the baby out. You grabbed your knees, hunkered down, and pushed because whether you were supposed to or not. Your scream was loud, and the screams of those around you picked up. They shouted to you, encouraging you to keep going and not to stop. The look on Chris's face suddenly changed, and you saw the tears in his eyes.
 “Oh my god, Riah, I can—I can see—oh baby, I can see a face. come on, Dragonfly, one more push.”
 You screeched out and fought through the intense burning you felt, and in seconds the crying of a baby echoed in the bathroom.
 “Aah, oh my god, Riah, it’s a girl. She’s here,” Chris elated as tears rolled down his cheeks.
 You smiled widely as Chris held your daughter and cut her umbilical cord before he placed her on your chest.
 “Oh my god!”
 She was perfect, with a full head of hair that was the color of Chris’s and cheeks so plump you were tempted to pinch them. You only had a moment to place a kiss on her forehead before you felt another stab of pain that made you shout again. The second midwife took the baby from you so you could focus on pushing out her sister.
 “She’s right there, Uriah. You’re doing incredible, baby,” your mother informed.
 “I’m thinking three good pushes, Uriah.  When you feel the urge, push.
 You instantly felt the urge to push and returned to your previous position and pushed as hard as you could. This push was just as painful as the first one, but you felt this push accomplished more.
 “Good push, her head is out. One more, and she’ll be out,” your first midwife said.
 The look on everyone's face was one of anxiety and excitement. The sounds of your first daughter’s cries had died down, and the only thing that could be heard in the room was your panting, screeching, and grunting.
 “Fuuuuuck!”
 You managed to push your daughter out, and her cries filled the bathroom. Soon, it was not one baby crying but both of them.
 “You did it!”
 Lisa and your mother both kissed your cheeks and forehead, happily congratulating you and telling you how well you’d done while the midwives cleaned the babies to bring them to you. When Chris came up beside you, your mothers backed away, giving you a few moments together. Chris kissed your forehead.
 “You’re incredible. You did so good, dragonfly. I’m so proud of you.” He kissed you once, then twice, and nuzzled his nose against yours.
 “I love you so much.”
 “Did someone order two perfect babies?”
 The midwives placed your daughters in your arms.
 “This is baby A; she was born first and her sister.”
 Your tears flowed freely as so much emotion filled you. Love in it’s purest form washed over you.
 “Chris. They’re beautiful.”
 “Of course they are. They look just like you,” Chris said, kissing your temple.
 A comfortable silence fell between you as you admired your newborn daughters.
 “Any decision on names?”
 You smiled and ran your thumb across the baby’s brow in your arm.
 “Yeah. How do you feel about Nova and Rae?”
 Chris’s face lit up as his smile spread so wide that you wondered if his face would split in two.
 “I love them. Nova and Rae Evans,” he uttered. You nodded and couldn’t help but choke up, seeing the emotion on his face.
 “Chasing dragonflies,” he whispered the meanings of the names you’d discussed weeks ago before his lips met yours for a tender kiss.
 With his forehead pressed to yours, he whispered again. “Rumor has it you’re going to be an amazing mom.”
 You smiled and looked at him before pressing your lips to his for a quick kiss. “Rumor has it you’re a DILF.”
 Chris laughed so loud it startled your babies, making them stir and cry. You joined in laughing with him, unable to keep your sublime happiness under wraps any longer.
 “Rumor has it you two will have siblings in record time,” Lisa said slightly above a whisper.
 Everyone in the room laughed, not knowing how true those were most likely were. You and Chris gazed at each other with longing and love in your eyes. When Chris kissed you again, this time taking his time to do it properly, completely and heartily, you knew his mother’s words would be the truest spoken.  
                                             The End!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tag List:
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Surprise – Howlin’ For You – One Shot
Description: Bucky forgets it’s his birthday. But his wife and kids aren’t going to let that slide. 
Pairing: AU - Biker!Bucky x Fem/Reader
Howlin’ For You - Masterlist
Read the series or you will not know what the fuck is happening.
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Bucky was so tired that a part of him was worried about getting home on a motorcycle without falling asleep. 
It was like the universe was torturing him with the day that he had. It seemed as if every customer he had to deal with at the shop today was a privileged asshole. All of them either pretended like they knew more about auto mechanics than him or yelled at him for the very reasonable pricing he gave them on their vehicles.
Customer service had always been the thing Bucky hated most about running his own shop. He tried to avoid dealing with customers at all cost. Steve was much more patient than he was – most of the crew was. 
But the whole reason they’d created the shop in the first place was to offer people realistic prices and to not rip off naive and unassuming customers.
Now Bucky was mentally and emotionally exhausted.
He’d sent a text to Y/N earlier, telling her how he’d become more and more irritated from work as the day went on.
She sent her support and promised she’d try to cheer him up when he got home.
Bucky immediately brought the conversation to more risqué suggestions, but Y/N didn’t seem to mind in the slightest.
He also knew that a few minutes with his kids and he’d cheer up. Amelia would want to cuddle with him or the twins would show him their new model cars they built with so much enthusiasm that he wouldn’t be able to help but feel better.
When Bucky walked through the door, his shoulders immediately relaxed. He gave most of the credit to Y/N for making their house an oasis of comfort and warmth.
But then he noticed how oddly quiet the house was, which was a rarity with a 5-year-old daughter and 9-year-old, rambunctious twins.
“Doll?” He called out.
Suddenly Amelia came running to him, slamming into his legs with her tiny body.
“There’s my girl,” Bucky chuckled as he lifted her up to hold her.
She was already growing up so fast that he knew carrying her around could end at any moment – more from her not wanting him to than her becoming too big.
“Where is your pretty mama and your crazy brothers, huh?” He asked her after giving her cheek a kiss.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulders.
“They told me to come get you,” she informed him.
“Oh, yeah? What for?”
Amelia giggled. “It’s a secret,” she whispered.
“A secret? Sounds like trouble.” But now Bucky was getting a little suspicious. “Is this hide and seek? Are you here to help me find them?”
Amelia giggled again and shook her head. “No, silly. Th-They told me to say…ummm…” She was now have trouble battling the short-term memory that came with being 5 years old.
“Told you to say what, babydoll?” He encouraged her softly.
She smiled, not seeming to care that she wasn’t doing a good job of giving him the message. “The backyard,” she laughed.
“I’m supposed to go to the backyard,” Bucky confirmed with a slow nod.
Then he kissed her head. “Alright. Let’s go to the backyard.”
Bucky assumed the twins had Y/N hostage, showing her everything about the new dirt bike he’d brought home for them just a few days ago. While Y/N didn’t know nor care much about the mechanics, like her sons and daughter, she humored them by nodding and oohing and aahing at the right parts.
As soon as they were close to the door that led out to the patio and backyard, Bucky was surprised he couldn’t hear the twins talking Y/N’s ear off. Also the lights were off, making it hard to see anything through the windows of the house.
When Bucky pulled the door open, he was met with the backyard lights turning on and a crowd screaming, “Surprise!”
On instinct alone, he turned his body a bit so Amelia was shielded. But he quickly recovered, steadying his breathing and realizing neither he nor his daughter were in any immediate danger.
The whole week of work, specifically today, had been so hectic and stressful that Bucky kept forgetting his birthday was just around the corner.
Now he was facing what looked to be every person he’d ever met in his life.
All of the Howlies were laughing and cheering at his arrival. Someone had already started up the music again. People were talking amongst themselves now that the surprise had been delivered.
Grayson and Owen came running out of the crowd, Y/N slowly walking behind them with a warm smile.
“Were you surprised, dad?” The twins both asked excitedly.
“Sure was,” he laughed as he mess up both of their hair.
“Did you spoil the surprise, Amelia?” Grayson asked his little sister, who was still in her dads arms. His eyes were filled with suspicion.
She glared and shook her head before nuzzling closer to her father.
“No, she didn’t ruin anything. She could be a spy,” Bucky defended.
Now Y/N had made her way to them.
“You,” he playfully glared at his wife. “Come here.” She laughed and stepped closer, earning a kiss from him. “You plan all this for me, troublemaker?”
She barely pulled away from his lips, “Maybe.”
“Thank you, doll. You didn’t have to do this.”
Y/N shrugged. “I was just a little worried after you told me how bad your day was going. I thought maybe this would be all be too much.”
“Of course not,” he assured her.
He moved her lips to his ear. “I’m sorry about the lights and screaming, I tried to tell them not to do it. But everyone was really committed already,” Y/N muttered to him so no one else could hear, proving that she caught how he’d reacted to the surprise.
He kissed her again. “It’s fine, Y/N.” 
Even after all these years, Bucky was still amazed at how well they could read each other.
Then Y/N grabbed Amelia from his arms. “Now, I’ll take this one, because you got a lot of people who want to wish you a happy birthday.”
As soon as Y/N stepped away and took the kids with her, Bucky was bombarded with people giving him hugs and saying hi.
All of the Howlies were there, along with their partners and kids. He spotted his mom and sister talking to Y/N’s family. Some of Y/N’s friends who had become Bucky’s friends were there too. It was like their usual Howlie gatherings – but magnified and with all the attention on Bucky.
He could’ve gone without the attention, but he enjoyed having all the important people in his life all in one place.
An hour later, he found Steve running the grill.
“Alright, punk, I know you were responsible for this too,” Bucky growled.
They’d just seen each other at the garage a few hours ago.
“I may have helped a bit,” Steve confessed through a mischievous smile.
“How’d you all keep it a secret? Especially, Sam – that idiot can’t keep his mouth shut.”
“I fucking heard that!” Sam shouted from over Bucky’s shoulder.
Bucky laughed and gave Sam an unapologetic shrug.
“That wife of yours did most of the work. I felt like I was back in the military with the way she had everything organized and dished out jobs to all of us.”
Bucky laughed at that, picturing Y/N giving out orders to his biker gang.
Hours later, Y/N had put the kids to bed and the adults really got down to celebrating. 
She was starting to get worried with the amount of shots and drinks people were thrusting onto Bucky. The man could hold his alcohol, but he was still just a human.
“I’m going to end up carrying that man to bed, aren’t I?” Y/N asked Sam and Nat as they sat around a fire.
The three of them drew their attention to Thor and Clint who were shoving another shot onto Bucky.
“Make him find his own way to the couch,” Sam chuckled.
“This is why you’d make a bad boyfriend,” Nat smirked.
“What?” Sam yelled. “I’m a great boyfriend!”
“Yeah?” Nat asked. “Where’s your girlfriend now? Oh, yeah, you don’t have one…”
Lo and behold, Y/N did have to practically drag her drunk husband to their bedroom.
Some of the Howlies who were more sober offered to stay back and help clean up. Even when Y/N turned them down, they ignored her and started getting to work. She wouldn’t be surprised if she came downstairs tomorrow morning to find her house cleaner than it was before the party.
Bucky’s arm was around Y/N’s shoulder as she navigated him through their home.
“You’re the best wife anyone in the world could ever have,” Bucky slurred to her.
Y/N laughed, “I am?”
“Of course.”
“OK. Well, your wife needs some help on your end to get you up these stairs.”
And to his credit, he made it up them without requiring much of Y/N’s help.
When they got to his bedroom, he flopped down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.
Y/N started unlacing his foots and taking off his jeans.
“Shirt to bed or no shirt?” She asked him.
“No shirt!”
She smiled at him. “Shorts or sleeping in just your briefs?”
“Briefs!”
Y/N nodded.
“Well, I was planning on ending the night with more fun. But I don’t think you’re exactly in the right state for that…” She teased him.
Bucky chuckled. “Probably for the best.”
He was currently fighting the spins. So, as much as he wanted to have sex with his beautiful and sexy wife, it probably wouldn’t end well for him.
Y/N went to take off her makeup, wash her face, and brush her teeth.
She found one of Bucky’s old t-shirts and threw it on, forgoing any type of short or pants.
“Come here, doll.” Bucky demanded, sounding far more sober than he should. 
“Are you gonna behave?” Y/N asked him as she pointed a finger at him.
“Yes, ma’am. I just want cuddles.” Then he smiled like a goof. “It’s my birthday, so I get what I want.”
Y/N chuckled and shook her head at him, but did as he requested and climbed into bed with him. Bucky instantly pulled her on top of his chest and wrapped his arms around her.
“Thank you for tonight,” he sighed and kissed the top of her head.
“I’m glad you had fun.”
“I love you, Y/N.” His voice proving that he was just moments away from passing out.
“Love you too, Buck.”
And barely 30 seconds later, Y/N’s ears were filled with Bucky’s drunken snores.
----------------
Thank you to the anon who sent this in and inspired me.  Let me know what you guys think :)  
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fluffymisha97 · 4 years
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Baby Rose
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Summary: Reader and Chris had a little baby girl. But not everything is going that well, you're both trying to navigate life as new parents.
You were desperately trying to get your 3 month old baby to sleep. But that wasn't happening anytime soon. She just kept crying and crying. You felt like the worst mother ever. You couldn't even comfort your own child. You tried everything that you could think of.
You were bouncing her slightly while singing every lullaby you knew. Nothing worked. Dodger was on floor in the nursery looking at you two. After an hour of non stop wailing, the dog ran elsewhere. You didn't blame him. You went to get your phone to text Chris.
You kept bouncing Rose on your hip while she cried at the top of her lungs. You tried calling him but it went straight to voice mail. He was supposed to be home by now.
"Oh I know, I know baby. Daddy isn't home yet. It's okay we can do this. He'll be home soon."
Rose got a bit quiet at the mention of Chris. But she was still unhappy. You tried to put her in the stroller and walk around the house but that only seemed to make it worse. By now you had called Chris three times and still no answer.
You could feel your own tears forming and a lump caught in your throat. You even considered calling your mom for help but it wasn't like she was the most maternal person you knew. So instead you called Chris's mom. Lisa answered almost immediately.
"Hi Lisa, sorry for calling you so late but I just..."
You couldn't help but let out a sob.
"Sweetheart, what's going on? Talk to me."
You couldn't find the words and was borderline hyperventilating. It felt as if you couldn't breathe.
"Come on Y/N sweetie you gotta breathe. Take deep breath. We can do it together. Listen to my breathing and try to match it... That's so good, hun you're doing great."
You could feel yourself calming down from each breath you took. 
"I don't know what to do. Rose has been crying for hours now and I can't get her to stop. I tried singing, the swaddling, rocking her, feeding, changing... Nothing helps. I CAN'T do it. I'm a horrible mom. And I'm all alone. Chris isn't answering his phone and I don't know what to do. And I can't do it by myself."
"Sweetheart listen to me. You're a good mother and I know that because I've seen it. Okay, all of this is still new and you guys are getting the hang of it. I picked up most things along the way. I was nervous and scared each time but it takes time."
You and Lisa talked for a little bit and you had never been more thankful for her. She knew exactly what to say. You had grown closer to Lisa after the birth. The three of you had stayed at his family home for a month or so after Rose was born. Lisa had been such a great help.
Lisa had offered to come over to help you seeing as she only lived half an hour away. But you being you didn't want to burden her any further. The two hung up then phone and you went back to your daughter that were still crying.
Not long after did you hear a door open. You thought it was Chris but when you turned around you came face to face with Lisa.
You could almost cry all over. You had never felt more relieved, she walked over and hugged both you and Rose. She quietly took Rose from you and sat in the rocking chair and started humming a tune. You had never been more thankful for Lisa.
You tiptoed out of the nursery and went down to the living room. A little while later, Lisa emerged from upstairs and went to sit with you. You then poured out your heart to her and she listened. Each time Rose got a bit fussy, Lisa went to see her. She offered to spend the night so that you could rest.
About two hours later Chris came home. Dodger went to greet him at the door and you had stayed glued to the couch of exhaustion. Several days of insufficient sleep was catching up with you.
Chris went to get a beer and sat down next to you. Chris wrapped up an arm around you and you automatically leaned into his touch.
"Hey. Where were you?"
"After working on game plan for ASP, Mark invited us to stay for a beer afterwards."
You could feel your body boiling with anger now despite the exhaustion. You turned your head and glared at him before standing up.
"So I'm home alone with your baby while you're out drinking beer with your buddies"
"Hey, why are you getting upset? You make it sound like that's the only thing that I've been doing."
"Oh I'm so sorry honey. That was inconsiderate of me. You know what else is inconsiderate, you leaving me all alone with Rose when we had a deal."
"I'm sorry but one of us has to keep working towards a normal every day like. I'm working my ass off trying to get things ready for the big launch of ASP."
"I do understand that Chris. But I recall you saying before Rose was born, that you would still help me and that we would figure things out. But here I am all alone in this. Even when you're home it's like you're not here."
Chris was quiet for a while and didn't really know what to say. You threw your hands in the air and went to go upstairs.
"I'm going to bed now and I would prefer it if you slept on the couch seeing how the guest room is occupied."
He was about to ask you who was using the guest room but kept his mouth shut. Chris watched as you walked upstairs with Dodger hot on your heels. Chris turned on the TV and sipped his beer but he couldn't shake was you'd just said.
Chris had done as you had told him and spent the night on the couch. He could feel his back aching. He then caught the scent of freshly brewed coffee and followed the smell and found his mother working her way around the kitchen.
"Hey... Ma. What are you doing here?"
"Don't you 'Ma me' Christopher Robert Evans. I'm here because your girlfriend needs you. Y/N can't do all of this alone. She and that little baby needs you to step up."
"Ma, I was only a few hours late last night. And apparently she had you around to help out. I don't get why she got so upset. It was just a one time thing."
"Chris, honey that's just plain dumb. Because this hasn't been a one time thing. You're leaving her all alone and coming and going as you please. You don't see Y/N do that, do you? I know that ASP and your other projects has been a handful and I'm truly proud of you for doing something you're so passionate about. But as your mother I am compelled to say when you're acting like a idiot. If you don't start to prioritize better, then I fear Y/N isn't going to stick around in the long run."
"What am I supposed to do? Can you just... "
"Chris, you have to figure this out for yourself. But trust me if things aren't going to change. You're going to risk losing them both and I know that you don't want that. Chris, be the dad that you're meant to be."
Chris stayed for a while in the living room after his talk with his mother thinking about she'd just said. Chris watched as Lisa went upstairs to say bye to his daughter and girlfriend. Chris went up to stairs and hugged his mom as she was leaving. She gently patted his cheek confident that her son would to the right thing.
Chris could her your voice from the hallway. You were humming a tune as you changed Rose's diaper. The baby giggled and was flailing her small chubby arms in the air. She was just the cutest baby in the while wide world. Rose had her dad's eyes but your lille button nose. When you were done you picked up Rose to go downstairs.
You came face to face with Chris who had been watching from the doorway. Chris always had a very telling face. You knew that he felt bad but it wasn't enough. You marched straight past Chris and went downstairs where you put Rose on her playmat. You went to the kitchen to prepare yourself some breakfast and get Rose's food ready. You could feel Chris's eyes in the back of your head.
Rose was babbling while trying to reach some of her toys. She was doing a little more every day. Dodger came over and laid down next to Rose. Rose rolled bit over to try and pet the dog with her uncoordinated grabby hands. Dodger didn't seem to mind at all.
You smiled at the sight but your smile fell as you saw Chris's sad expression. He felt like he missed it all. He hadn't even noticed how big of a psychical development she had gone through. He had been around of course but hadn't been paying good enough attention to what was happening.
Chris sat down on the couch and watched his beautiful daughter in disbelief. He had no one to blame but himself. This right here was something that he'd wanted for so long and now was missing out. You walked over to Chris and kneeled down in front of him.
"I can't believe how much that has happened and I didn't even notice. Y/N I'm really sorry."
Chris continued apologizing while saying there was no excuses for his behavior or actions. You cut him off.
"I know, Chris. But we have to find a better solution. I know that one of us has to work and everything. But there has to be a easier way for us all. Rose and I need you here too..."
"Yes. I'll figure something out. I’ll talk with Mark about finding something more fitting to our situation. I'll fix it. I promise."
Chris later watched as you fed Rose. His heart swelled from the sight, watching you and his daughter. He couldn't afford to miss out on anything else in you or Rose's lives. He couldn't bear it. He made a deal with Mark about working as much as possible from home. Chris loved you and Rose so much and he would do anything to make it work.
And on that day he had never been more thankful for knowing the two best mothers in the world. His mother Lisa, for calling him out in his BS. You, for having Rose's best interest at heart and for giving him a chance to be a better dad.
(An idea I got earlier today. NOT that I'm saying Chris would be a bad dad or anything. He’ll most likely be an amazing dad when the time comes.  This is strictly fiction - please don't hate me. BUT I have my doubt about this one being okay or not. 
There's probably some errors here and there and timeline might not fit) 🤷‍♀️😅
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lady-divine-writes · 3 years
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Kurtbastian - “Always and Forever”
Summary: After the death of their daughter Grace, Kurt and Sebastian drift apart. Kurt wraps himself up in his grief so tightly he starts to push Sebastian away, and Sebastian, feeling himself shoved aside when he needs Kurt most, cheats. They make the decision to start over, to leave New York City and their pain behind, and start over again in a house Upstate. Sebastian buys Kurt a "fixer upper" and gives him free reign. While redecorating the room that will be his studio, Kurt comes across something interesting underneath the wallpaper. It starts to become an obsession for Kurt - an obsession that begins to replace Kurt's love for his husband, which Sebastian is holding on to by a thread. Can Kurt and Sebastian break through the pain and the hurt and find a way to fall in love again?
Notes: Inspired by the Klaine advent drabble prompt "ache". So this is a story I started a while ago, but stopped after chapter 4 because it started to get a little too real. But I’ve started revising, and now I’m ready to finish it.
Chapter 1 (3197 words)
“God! That traffic was insane, wasn’t it?” Sebastian complains, pulling off the highway and onto the less congested road that leads to the heart of Manhasset.
Kurt mutters in agreement, but he barely noticed. His right temple has been glued to the passenger side window the entire trip. Eyes pointed skyward, he watched the clouds pass by as they drove, counted the trees, followed a flock of birds as they flew off to warmer climes far, far away.
Away from here, the way Kurt wishes he could.
“I called ahead to turn the gas on. And the electricity... ” Sebastian has been rambling about nothing for the whole hour and forty-five-minute drive, filling the tense air of the Navigator with verbal static. “We’re gonna want to air the place out for a few hours. The realtor told me it stinks like mold but that there isn’t any actual mold in the house. I hired two separate contractors to go through the place anyway and make sure. I wasn't going to take the guy's word for it. He struck me as a sandwich short of a picnic. I mean, you should have seen him, Kurt! He was wearing a purple paisley tie and brown loafers with a grey suit. And not like royal purple. That would have worked. But puce! Jesus Christ!” He chuckles. It bleeds into a nervous cough. “I didn’t say anything, but it would have been nice if you were there to give him some subtle pointers. Or not so subtle. You know how much I love seeing you in action. Oh, and we'll have to go over our insurance policy. I’m having a second independent appraiser… ”
“Are we there yet?” Kurt interrupts, preferring to focus on how the changing leaves mute the skyline than on a single word coming out of his husband’s mouth. Not that he could catch a one the way they’re sprinting off his tongue like lemmings off a cliff.
The trees soothe Kurt, smooth the rough edges of this bumpy ride. They grow differently out here than in the city: springing up in rows, displaying their fall colors, blending one into the other like an ever-changing river - red tree, yellow tree, brown tree, gold tree… 
Their daughter Grace would call out the colors on their long car rides Upstate, conjuring rhymes where there were none. They roll through his memory in her singsong voice.
Green tree… uh... lean tree!
Kurt smiles, clutching on to the sound of her voice.
He's terrified of the day he'll forget what her voice sounds like.
“Just… uh… just a few more blocks,” Sebastian replies, his attempt at chitchat cut short by his husband’s impatient tone. Despite his infinitely expressive voice, Kurt only uses three tones nowadays - angry, impatient, and indifferent. Sebastian hasn’t learned how to avoid any of them, but he hates Kurt’s indifferent tone the most. “Not too far.”
“Good. Because I’m tired of sitting in this stupid seat.” Kurt switches positions, massaging his hip for emphasis. 'Tired of sitting in this stupid seat.' That's what he said. But he meant, 'tired of being stuck in here with you.' 
And Sebastian knows it.
Sebastian turns down two streets that spiral together tighter and tighter until he and Kurt are locked in to their new neighborhood.
Locked in to their decision to move here.
“Here it is.” Sebastian pulls up to the curb at the point before the street turns into a cul-de-sac.
Kurt sits up slowly to accommodate his stiff spine and numb ass. Looking around, he sighs in frustration. “Here what is? There are five houses on this block. Which one is it?”
“Guess.” When Kurt sighs again, Sebastian says, “I’ll give you a hint – it’s one of these three,” and motions to the houses on Kurt’s right. Kurt rolls his eyes but turns to the houses closest. They all appear relatively identical – three floors with a pointed roof and a square porch, reminiscent of a gingerbread house. They probably have basements – a huge selling point in this vicinity. But they don’t call them basements Upstate. They call them cellars. Somehow, the word cellar is more refined, and therefore more acceptable than having a dull, run-of-the-mill, drafty basement.
Need that cellar so you can have the most expensive cabernet on the market on hand in case we need to drunkenly judge Sally Jones’s latest highlight fiasco.
“She should have gone with lowlights, Sharon. (sip) Haven’t I been saying that, Kayla? (sip) Haven’t I been saying that she should have stuck with lowlights? But only around her face. (sip) Ha-ha-ha-ha! Please, pass the brie.”
Kurt spent a good portion of his life living in a basement bedroom, so he’s not above the word. But he remembers a time back in high school when he thought that was the person he would grow up to be. He’d start out as one of the New York elite, then become an Upstate snob. When his kids (two of them – a boy and a girl) were grown and gone, he’d start an artists’ colony. He'd retire to a lighthouse, isolate himself in obscurity while being ironically jaded at the world.
Well, he's nearing forty, and he is jaded, but for entirely different reasons.
The house at the curve in the cul-de-sac is painted a sea green Kurt isn’t thrilled with. But that can be remedied with a bucket of paint and some elbow grease. From its position, it probably gets the bulk of the noon sun. 
There goes their electric bill. 
Kurt knows Sebastian doesn’t care about trivial things like finances, but just because they have the money to spend doesn’t mean they should shovel it out the window. Plus, there's their carbon footprint to think about. But more importantly, there goes his fair skin, which will freckle at every meal while he does nothing other than sit at the kitchen table.
No, thank you.
The house beside it is in a better position, slanted away from direct sunlight. But it’s painted a slate blue that comes across as too harsh considering the neighborhood’s neutral color scheme. Sebastian should know better than to see that house and say, “Yes. That’s it. That’s the one,” unless the inside looks like the Palace of Versailles.
The last house is also blue, but this blue borders on pale grey, a similar shade to his father’s house in Lima. A maple tree has grown through the pavement in front, shading the house and shedding its red-gold leaves all over the front yard. 
And this house has a porch swing. 
He and Sebastian used to talk about owning a home with a porch swing. It became a prerequisite for the home they wanted to retire in. Kurt pictured sitting on their swing side by side in the early mornings, sipping coffee and watching the sunrise.
Sebastian, on the other hand, talked about having sex on the thing and scaring the neighbors.
Same planet, different worlds.
“It’s this one,” Kurt guesses, gesturing to the blue-grey house. “The one with the swing. Isn’t it?”
“Don’t sound too excited,” Sebastian jokes but warily, afraid of what the fallout might be if Kurt doesn’t like it. Sebastian has been climbing a tenuous ladder to make his husband happy. One misstep and he'll plummet back to the bottom, with no certainty that Kurt will let him try to climb up again. It’s his own damn fault, Sebastian reminds himself as they get out of the vehicle. He did this to them, so he’ll let Kurt lash out, let him bare his teeth and his claws, let him dig in with both hands and rip.
Sebastian deserves it.
He leads Kurt up the walkway in silence, past the tree and the swing. He unlocks the front door and pushes it open, standing back so Kurt can be the first one over the threshold. Kurt takes his time, poking his head in first, then taking a hesitant step. This is an all-or-nothing moment for him. In his heart, once he walks inside, there's no turning back.
He sets his foot down, rests his weight on it, and a dozen memories come flooding back: the house he lived in with his mom and dad, the house he and his dad moved into when his dad remarried, the dorm rooms he suffered from high school to college.
The first night he spent in Sebastian's penthouse, the excitement of feeling like he'd found his true home.
The house he dreamed of raising Grace in. 
In the end, they stayed in the penthouse for convenience. He regrets not getting her an actual house with a yard and a swing.
Like this one.
The irony.
The room lists, Kurt's head swims, but he wraps his arms around himself and doesn't let it show. He focuses on the here and now. He's taken a step. He just needs to take another. And another. Keep going. Keep moving forward, or else he'll crumple to the ground.
And Sebastian will rush to catch him.
Kurt would rather bury himself under the porch.
Kurt breathes in through his nose and out through his mouth, relies on a cold and detached demeanor to help him instead of the strong arms of his husband.
This house has a different feel from the open floor plan of the penthouse they've been living in since college. It's cramped around the corners, with a lot more shadows and a lot less noise. Sebastian likes that better. He’s an Ohio native, same as Kurt. But unlike Kurt, he considers himself a country boy. Even though Sebastian built his identity around becoming a state's attorney like his father, he loved the quiet life: wide-open spaces, blue skies, unhurried, and just plain normal. 
Kurt saw Ohio as a cage he couldn't wait to break free from.
Sebastian could have bought Kurt any house he wanted. In that vein, Sebastian feels like a heel for jumping on this one without consulting Kurt first. He reasoned that he'd been the one house hunting, not Kurt. So when a contact told him that the owner of this house, a house Sebastian had had his eye on for a while, was finally selling, it seemed too perfect, especially considering the timing.
Sebastian bent over backward to rescue it from escrow.
Kurt didn't want to leave the city, but it was full of too much pain for him to handle, too many memories, friends and acquaintances who had yet to hear the news, and those who constantly offered their condolences. Few people greeted him anymore without their smiles dropping and the words, “I’m so sorry,” coming out of their mouths, as if joy shouldn't exist around him anymore. 
It made his head, his heart, and his soul ache.
Kurt loved New York City, but there was nothing left for him there but the constant hollow thud he felt whenever he saw something that reminded him of their angel Grace. School would be starting soon. All of her friends will be moving on to the fifth grade. But his daughter...
Life ended for her too soon.
“Here.” Sebastian reaches for Kurt’s hand, but Kurt reflexively pulls it away, slipping his hands into his pockets to cover for his flinching from Sebastian’s touch. Sebastian should be used to it by now, but he isn’t. “Let me show you why I think you’re going to love this house.”
Sebastian jogs up the stairs to the next level. Kurt follows a few steps behind. When he reaches the top, he sees three doors. They pass the first two without mention. Sebastian opens the last.
“Here.” Sebastian crosses to the opposite side and throws open one of two windows, filling the musty space with the crisp bite of autumn. “I thought this room could be your new studio.”
Sebastian knows him too well. The room is perfect. Even at dusk, it’s flooded with natural light. It looks out over the rooftops of the other houses, giving him a view of the surrounding forests and orchards stretching way past the highway. With a little TLC, it could look just like his studio in their penthouse.
Or he can turn it into something new.
Start with a clean slate.
“What are the other two rooms?” Kurt asks offhandedly. He doesn't need to. 
He knows what the other rooms are. 
There are only two rooms they can be.
“A bathroom and the master bedroom,” Sebastian answers, watching his husband stroll across the floor.
“So this would have been… ?”
“A spare? A guest room?” Sebastian shifts his weight from foot to foot, unable to find an easy groove to stand in.
Kurt frowns. No. It would have been Grace’s bedroom if she were still with them. Kurt was trying to get his husband to acknowledge that. Cruelly. But if she were with them, Sebastian wouldn’t have cheated, their marriage wouldn’t be falling apart, and they wouldn’t be running away from their problems.
“I guess I could put a foldout bed in here,” Kurt throws out as he estimates the space.
“You can if that’s what you want,” Sebastian agrees. “Or you’re just saying that to hurt me, which, if you are, you’ll be happy to know, it’s working.”
“I’m not saying that to hurt you,” Kurt eloquently lies. “I’m being practical. I’m not going to have easy access to the Vogue workshop if I live two hours away. If I expect to get a new line started, I’m going to have to pull long hours.”
Sebastian scrutinizes his husband, who’s doing his best to avoid looking at him. “You’re… thinking of starting a new line? You didn’t mention that.”
Kurt shrugs. “Did I have to?”
“No. I mean, I wasn’t sure that you would go back to designing so soon after.” 
"After?" Kurt tilts his head inquisitively but still makes no eye contact.
"After... moving. There's going to be a lot to do here. I thought you'd give yourself a year. Maybe more." Sebastian answers so quickly, Kurt wonders if he'd practiced. They talk in code, this whole conversation a carefully choreographed tango through a labyrinth of knives.
Sebastian didn't mean after moving. He meant after the death of their daughter. Kurt practically spent every spare second he wasn’t designing for work designing with her. Kurt has been a designer since high school. Aside from music, it's his passion.
Sebastian feared Grace's death might sever those harp strings.
"I think you underestimate me. Besides, you’re considering going back to working in the city after… ” 
Pivot, walk walk, close.
The dance changes. They switch places, and Kurt leads.
Kurt isn't talking about them moving or Grace.
Kurt means after Sebastian cheated. 
Kurt only agreed to move out of the city and live in a house he's never seen to keep Sebastian away from the man he's convinced will become too big a temptation to resist the next time they get into any kind of argument. Granted, it took their daughter dying for Sebastian to cheat, but Kurt figures it’ll keep getting easier from now on to come up with an excuse. 
Can't agree on where to go for dinner? Have a huge blowout over which cards to send out for Christmas? That's it! I'm sticking my dick in someone else!
“Anyway, I wouldn’t want to wake you by crawling into bed at four in the morning, not when you have to be at work at six,” Kurt finishes when he’s let that dig soak in long enough.
“I’m not going back to work for a while, remember? That’s what a leave of absence is. And even if I was, why would I mind you waking me?” Sebastian risks a grin. “In fact, I was thinking that it might be nice to get back to what we used to do in the mornings before work. I miss that.”
Sebastian holds his breath while he sees how that remark lands. He waits for Kurt to look at him. Kurt hasn’t been able to look at him, really look at him, since hungover Sebastian came home in a taxi the morning after, clothes ruined, their marriage officially in the gutter. Grace passed away six months ago, which means he’s been waiting for a while. 
He’s still waiting. 
“This isn’t all about you,” Kurt reminds him, raising his eyes to the ceiling.
Kurt didn't yell. But that doesn't mean he's not furious.
“I know,” Sebastian says softly. He rubs his cold hands together, wishing he could stick them underneath his husband’s thick, button-down sweater, and press his palms against Kurt’s skin. A year ago, Kurt would have squealed, “Bas! Your hands are freezing!” But he would have wrapped his arms around himself and held on, would have let Sebastian lean in for a kiss, would have fallen for the line, “Now that my hands are warm, maybe you can help me warm up a few other things.”
Then they would have made love on the wood floor with the door open.
If only he could make Kurt laugh the way he used to.
Then maybe Kurt would love him again.
But going by his husband’s expression, dreary as the olive sweater he holds closed with one hand at the neck, Sebastian knows that now is not the time.
“Is this what you need to make you happy?” he asks. If only it were that simple. If only a house, or a car, or a vacation could turn back the clock and erase everything that happened.
Erase everything Sebastian did, and bring their daughter back.
Kurt doesn't answer right away. He's not purposefully keeping Sebastian in suspense. He couldn't care less what's going on in Sebastian's head. This is his future he's considering. 
He's going to take his time.
He circles the room, contemplating the echo of his footsteps on the roughly finished wood, debating whether or not it's a sound he wants to hear for the rest of his life. If not, is it worth putting in the time to fix it? 
He traces the path of sunlight as it travels across the wall. That brings a new detail to his eye - a torn corner of wallpaper above the open window revealing a word underneath.
Darling.
Kurt eyes it from a distance, tries not to pay too much attention to it in case Sebastian is behind it. It doesn’t look like it was written recently. It's more than likely part of the pattern underneath. But leave it to Sebastian to try to woo his husband back with something syrupy like that. 
Something hopelessly romantic.
Something he thinks Kurt will fall for.
“No,” Kurt answers honestly, re-examining the fading wallpaper, the scuffed floors, the peeling ceiling. His gaze glances his husband’s face and settles on the dust-streaked window. He stares out at the sky, the clouds, the trees, the birds flying wild and free. He’s never going to be able to fly away like that, so he might as well accept this cage he's been given. It's what he's supposed to do, after all. “But it’s worth a try.”
He has little else left to lose.
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queenxxxsupreme · 4 years
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Have you ever seen those "dad reflexes" videos? With dads like swooping their kids out of the path of cars, bikes, animals- or doing lightening quick lunges to keep them from falling off tables and chairs and docks &stuff? I feel like I can absolutely see witcher dads just doing that. Like full on across the room one moment and then catching their falling kid the next. Or tuck n' rolling them out of the way of hourses and carts. Or doing the "foot-scoop" when their hands are full.
A/N: This has been in my ask box for a long time and I am so so glad that I finally could get around to finishing it!! We haven’t had any dad!witcher content and I’m positive this is just what I needed :) Here is my masterlist for more dad!witcher content and here is where to go if you’d like to be on any of my taglists!
***
Lambert 
Today was one of those rare days that you had the chance to relax with your husband and daughter. 
Lambert was finally back from a three week long hunting trip with Eskel, and the first thing that Eva suggested to do was have a picnic down by the lake. 
You and Eva couldn’t travel alone beyond the walls of the keep. Not only was Lambert very against the idea of the two loves of his life being without him in the woods, but also the Blue Mountains were dangerous. Forktails and wyverns had a knack for moving into the wooded mountains, and nekkers and drowners had been known to wander around. 
The young witcher didn’t like the idea of taking you both down to the lake, but it was hard to say no to Eva. When she was adamant on getting what she wanted, she knew how to play her cards right even at the tender age of four. 
So now you three were on the dock down at the lake. You sat leaning against Lambert’s shoulder, listening to Eva rant about how Vesemir told her unicorns weren’t real. Lambert was watching her like a hawk, yellow eyes never leaving her as she moved around the dock. It was difficult to get her to stay still sometimes. 
“It’s so good to have you back.” You murmured quietly, turning your head to look at the witcher.
He tore his eyes away from her, finding your gaze and offering you a smile. 
“It’s good to be back.” He leaned forward to kiss you.
At the same time, he felt the boards on the dock move ever so slightly. She curiously moved towards the edge of the dock, spotting a turtle surface on the water. 
Eva knelt down at the edge and leaned over.
“Mommy, look!” 
She leaned over too much and lost her balance. Before she could fall head first into the water, Lambert caught her ankle, pulling away from you to focus on her. 
“Eva!” You gasped, realizing what had almost happened. 
Lambert pulled her up onto the dock and laid her down on her back.
“Eva, you can’t do that!” Lambert couldn’t help but raise his voice a little. 
Eva giggled, sitting up and crawling over to the edge of the dock to look at the turtle. 
You put your hand on Lambert’s arm, squeezing softly. 
“She’s okay.” You told him, taking a steady deep breath.
“I swear, she’s going to give me a heart attack.” He mumbled. 
Eva watched the turtle for a few more moments before it disappeared beneath the dock they were on. Then she stood up and turned to face Lambert, looking up at him silently. 
“What do you want?” He scowled, somewhat irritated that she had made him worry so much. 
She grinned mischievously and started to run towards him. He caught her in his arms and threw her into the air, the irritation dissolving as her giggles and squeals filled the air. Her delighted laughter made you smile.
“I think it’s time to go home.” You said, and Lambert agreed.
“Daddy, put me on your shoulders!” Eva squealed. 
“Okay, okay. Hold on a second.” 
Lambert placed Eva on her feet and then turned her around so her back was to him. From there, he could grab her by her hips and lift her up onto his shoulders. 
“You ready, princess?” He asked her, looking up as best as he could. 
She giggled and fisted her fingers in his hair. 
“Little monster.” Lambert muttered, wincing when she pulled on the strands too hard. 
You stuck close to Lambert, your arm wrapped around his as you started up the mountain. 
Eskel
Eskel’s grip on your hand tightly a little as you moved through the market. It was busy and crowded, but you did your best to navigate through the swarms of people. Eskel held Nadia on his hip. The curious little toddler enjoyed all of the sights and sounds.
Usually you came to the market on your own or just with Nadia. The quiet witcher did not like the noise or being so close to so many people. But today, he decided to go with you. 
“You deal with…. this every time?” Eskel asked. 
“Yes.” You nodded, smiling softly as you looked over to him. “I quite like it.”
“I don’t.”
“I know.” You squeezed his hand. “I appreciate you coming with us today.”
“Had to get out of the house for a few.” His eyes followed everyone who walked too closely. “But now I’m sort of regretting it to be honest.”
“You can go back home, love. Nadia and I won’t be much longer.”
“No. I’ll stay.” He sighed.
“Down, daddy!” Nadia squealed, tugging on Eskel’s shirt. 
He placed her on her feet and settled with holding her hand. He had to slow down in order to walk at her pace, but he didn’t mind. 
“Go on ahead, doll.” He told you. “We’ll catch up with you later.”
“Are you sure?” You asked him, tilting your head to the side a little as you smiled down at your daughter. 
“Positive.” Eskel put his hand on your arm and kissed your cheek. 
You kissed him back and then leaned down to kiss Nadia’s head.
“I love you.”
“Love you.” She giggled. 
Eskel watched you disappear through the crowd, his thumb rubbing over Nadia’s little knuckles. 
“Daddy!” Nadia jumped up and down excitedly. He looked down to her, a little smile coming to his scarred lips. 
Beneath his boots, the ground trembled. His ears picked up a noise, heavy breathing and hooves against dirt. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a brown figure moving towards him and his daughter. A donkey was running straight for them. 
At the very last second, Eskel snatched Nadia up by her wrist, pulling her into his chest. Eskel’s other arm came up to wrap around her, holding her in the safety of his arms. 
Her hands clutched his tunic, pulling at the dark red material. 
Eskel could hear her heart racing, becoming frantic as she watched the donkey dart past. 
“You okay, love?” Eskel rubbed her back, pressing a firm kiss to her head.
“Daddy!” She wailed and tucked her nose into his neck, tears springing from nowhere and trailing down her cheeks. 
“It’s okay, Nadia.” He rubbed her back. “You’re okay, baby.”
“Where did mommy go?” Her words were muffled but he could still understand her. 
“Let’s go find her.” Eskel suggested, feeling his own heart race. His hands felt a little shaky and he found the crowded street even more suffocating than before. With you no longer in his sight and Nadia almost being trampled, he needed something- someone -to calm him down.
The witcher followed your scent, finding you at a little stand that sold herbs. His hand found the small of your back. 
You turned your head, smiling softly at him. However, that smile didn’t last long. Seeing his brows furrowed and a frown prominent on his scarred features, you knew something had happened. 
“What’s wrong?” You asked, turning to him. You placed your hand on Nadia’s back, praying she was okay. Her head rested against his shoulder and she clung to him for dear life. Not even five minutes ago when you left them, she was cheerful and smiling as she walked alongside her father. 
“There was a donkey.” Eskel explained quietly, turning his head to look at Nadia as best as he could. 
“Is she okay?” Your brows drew together and you moved around Eskel to get a look at her face. Her eyes were squeezed shut tightly and a little crinkle formed between her eyebrows. Her cheeks were red and tears dampened them. 
“She wasn’t hurt. I think it just spooked her. It ran past us. I got her before it could get to her.
“Nadia?” You brushed a few pieces of her hair back out of her face. 
She opened her eyes and reached out for you, her face scrunching up as she began to cry again. 
“Oh, my love.” You took her from Eskel, holding her tight to you. 
“I think it’s time we go home.” He said, his hand still on the small of your back. 
“I have a few more things I need to get.” You told Eskel, frowning. To go all the way home without what you came for would be a waste of the pretty weather. 
Eskel held your gaze for a few moments, trying to think of what to do.
“You’ll be okay here by yourself?”
“Yes.” You nodded your head. 
“Okay.” He let out a little breath and leaned down to kiss your cheek. “Be safe. We’ll see you at home.”
Geralt
The White Wolf glanced up from the cards in his hand, eyes finding Lambert. The young wolf held Bram on his hip with one arm as he crossed the room.
“Why don’t you sit down, Lambert?”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t need to be walking around with the little one.” Eskel placed his cards down for a moment to take a drink of ale.
“I wouldn’t drop him.” Lambert rolled his eyes. He looked down at his nephew, bouncing up and down just a little. “Besides, Bram loves his favorite uncle.”
Eskel snorted. 
“You’d make me feel a lot more comfortable if you sat down, Lambert.” Geralt spoke up, keeping his gaze on his son. 
“And you’d make me feel a lot more comfortable if you weren’t staring at me right now.” Lambert rolled his eyes. 
Geralt muttered a few curses under his breath and looked at his cards. 
Lambert took a seat at the table across from his brothers. He placed Bram down on the edge of the table. The toddler was happy there, chewing on a couple of his fingers. 
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to leave him there, Lambert.” Eskel said. 
“He’s fine.” Lambert reached over for his tankard. “Who’s go is it?”
“Yours.” Geralt answered, eyes carefully watching Bram. 
The toddler didn’t seem panicked being sat on the edge of the table. His balance was fine and he was content. 
Geralt tried to relax. Lambert was right there and would stop anything from happening to Bram. 
Time passed and the toddler seemed to be having fun climbing off of the table and then running around to the other side to climb back onto the table. He’d pause to say something to one of his uncles or to Geralt and sometimes to steal a card one of them had. 
Bram developed a game of his own by doing this. He’d take a card from one of the witchers and give it to another.
But the little boy was getting too excited. He wasn’t watching where he was going as he walked across the table. He tripped over an empty tankard and would’ve fallen to the floor if Geralt had caught him. The White Wolf grabbed his son’s shirt, stopping the toddler from hitting the stone floor head first. 
Geralt was on his feet in a heartbeat, setting Bram down on the floor on his feet. Geralt knelt down to inspect Bram, making sure he was okay. 
“Shit.” Lambert cursed, standing up. He and Eskel both looked over their nephew, who just giggled and clapped his hands. 
Geralt pulled Bram’s shirt back into place and let out a heavy breath, rubbing his brow.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Bram nodded, grinning mischievously. 
“You need to be more careful.” Geralt told him as he stood up. He watched Bram climb up onto the bench next to Eskel and sit there quietly. The fall must’ve spooked him a little. 
“Anything happens to him, Lambert, and I’m telling Y/N you let him walk on the table.”
“You what?” 
Geralt turned around to face you. You stood in the doorway, arms crossed as you looked at your husband.
“Er, hello…. dove.”
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