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motherfuckermorgan · 7 months

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sonic superstars thoughts

well twitter might've made the final bozo move that'll effectively kill it so i guess instead of even bothering to update my video games thread i'll just start posting thoughts here, if i've got interesting things to say. ended up having more to say than i thought so this one'll be under a read more

sonic superstars is a weird game where i think it kind of doomed itself in the public's eyes by both being a followup to sonic mania and being a $60 video game. i don't really take into account prices of video games when giving my thoughts on this kind of thing usually, because if you're patient enough you can usually snag them for a good price or you know, sail the seven seas. but i do think it's hard to ignore the jump from a 20 buck game to a 60 buck game. sonic superstars most certainly has more budget behind it, but other than that i'd say right off the bat that this is VERY strongly a "Wait for a sale" type game unless you're an insane sonic head like me.

so like. the thing with this game vs sonic mania. this game is not better than mania. if you're expecting that you're gonna be disappointed. i do still think it's a good classic game! but mania is a tough standard to beat, especially from a team like arzest that admittedly hasn't had the best track record in the world. they don't seem like an untalented studio, but it does seem like they're rarely given the budget or time to squeeze out their full potential. sonic superstars is easily their best effort by far, and it's not even close. the fact that they made a good platformer and not a mediocre one is a damn miracle.

the control and physics are pretty much straight up ripped from mania, which was the right thing to do. there was concerns that this was gonna be a Sonic 4 situation where it feels miserable to control, but nah, you move like you'd expect to in a classic sonic game. this is a HUGE boon to the game because it feels so much better and more authentic than a lot of other 2d sonic games. it's one of the couple of reasons i'd put this over the dimps games, even! not that i have no love in my heart for advance or rush, but mania controlled like a dream and this does too.

the level design is alright, though it definitely feels more safe? there's some fun gimmicks here and there but they don't feel like anything especially crazy. thank fucking god this doesn't have the dimps problem of bottomless pits all over the place, so even if you're playing a bit risky with the drop dash you're more likely to bash your head into spikes than an instakill obstacle.

i will say that the level THEMES are a step above mania, 100%. i love mania but it really is held back by having familiar level themes, reminding you that Green Hill and Chemical Plant exist, and you will never truly be free of them. i think superstars is the first sonic game in years to not reuse level themes (aside from the battle mode, apparently) which, god. even frontiers couldn't resist putting in familiar zone. it's honestly a really cool aspect of this game! i got to play a sonic game where i'd go into a level and it'd be something new! obviously they still follow archetypes like "Grass" "Snow" "Water" etc etc but it's nice to see some sort of attempt at original theming. it's something i respect the team a lot for, given sonic's constant need to draw from the past.

a sour point of the levels is easily the bosses. i think your mileage will vary on these. i didn't think they were That Bad, but other people find them to be complete slogs. you do a good amount of waiting around for the weak point to be exposed, and by the end of the game, some bosses are taking up nearly as much time as the levels themselves, with the final boss being WAY longer. at least i could entertain myself by drop dashing around the arena, but i'd imagine i'd have more fun getting in a constant stream of hits.

the music in this game is also... fine? there's some good tracks in there but there's also a bunch of tracks that are a bit slop. it's mostly the genesis sounding tracks. whenever this game wants to sound like a genesis game it sounds bad. the boss theme being probably the worst song in the game which, given that most people already dont like the bosses, is damning.

i do like the art direction of this game a lot, i think sonic and company look great! i definitely enjoy this look for classic sonic over how he looks in generations/forces. there's a lot of really cute animations for each character as well. there are some pretty cheap looking animations, which i noticed on the game's big flickies the most. i remember hearing a lot of people say the backgrounds felt empty, but i guess i didn't notice it that much? probably easier to get that vibe when you're not zooming across the level.

ive enjoyed my time with this game and im sure i'll continue to enjoy it as i continue to replay it. it's not classic sonic's best, but it's a game that does a lot right, and shows a great improvement for a studio who's track record is typically considered subpar. i will say, after mania, it's hard Not to think superstar's 60 dollar price tag is steep. but i'm sure you'll find your favorite method to not pay that much for this game. well, good luck out there

#games post

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dzpenumbra · 1 year

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12/26/22

Merry Christmas!

I started my day by going to the PTSD subreddit, looking for people who were struggling today, and leaving thoughtful, honest, inspiring comments for them. I hope it made an impact. It's a bittersweet feeling for me. I still get very self-conscious about being misinterpreted and taken out of context. Something about the public nature of posting really heartfelt shit on social media, I guess. But, I swear, this fear only developed over the past like... 5 years, tops. I never used to have this problem. In fact, the account that I'm using, my primary account has posts on mental health subreddits telling my story from well over 10 years ago. I made it a point to not delete anything, to trust my story to tell itself. To not let fear make decisions for me. Now... well, I guess that's kinda the PTSD thing, in a way. I think it's trauma that did it. Betrayal of trust, shit like that. Either that or I'm just 20 years late in developing teenage trust issues. I don't know.

But yeah, it's bittersweet because it still feels like... I'm speaking from a place of expertise... and I'm usually one of the only people in the comments that's not just repeating something that was said to them by a therapist or a friend or a group therapy leader or something they read in a book. I speak like this. From the heart. And from personal experiences. And I try my hardest to disclaim that, though I really don't have to, but you know... in the Age of Anxiety, how could you NOT put a label on a bag of rice cakes that says "Do not heat these in a toaster". How could I NOT sabotage my own credibility within the first sentence of giving advice by saying "just keep in mind, this is my personal experience, and your mileage may vary, and I might be completely wrong, please don't yell at me, sir or ma'am." It's so obnoxious, I hate it... but like... I hate that it makes sense to do it, to the point where it feels almost... mandatory.

So yeah, I left people some heartfelt perspectives, and I think they were appreciated. I got up and got kitty food. She puked again, twice today, but I think it was hairballs this time. So I tried not to stress too much. I checked the rock tumbler, I was supposed to let gas out of it and check to make sure the solution in it didn't turn to sludge, and I think it's still okay so... yeah. But the barrels and tumbler are pretty hot... so I'm really gonna have to keep an eye on that. I poked some holes in the box over it, but I just don't want the thing to overheat, or be a fire risk or something. My other tumbler didn't do that, and I ran that thing in the summer, so I don't know what the deal is... but I'm just gonna keep an eye on it.

I recorded some more Rimworld. The story is very interesting and compelling. Just now, the story took some turns I really didn't feel comfortable with though. And that's a tough one. Like... it's a guy that's basically a vampire (but with a nano technology rather than vampirism being a virus), and he's stranded with his ex-wife who is a nurse and helped him get this nano-treatment to cure his terminal cancer. His ex-wife is like 25 years younger than him, so it's a little weird right off the bat, but there's the whole immortality element so it's just... all of it is super confusing ethically at that point... And they reconnect and become lovers again right off the bat, like day 2. After about a full season, they start fighting. I mean, the wife picks fights with the vampire dude. Oh shit, okay, forgot this happened first, so the wife has been starting to feel the effects of aging and she was getting food poisoning a lot so she was spending huge amounts of time in bed and she was miserable. The vampire dude offered to... infect(?) her? I don't know the right term. It's a genetic infection basically, so he would do a "procedure" where he'd inject her with some of his nanites and she would go into a coma for a few days while they essentially reprogram and overwrite her genes, giving her the genetic gifts that he got, the same way he got them from someone else - a nonexistent character I've been referring to as "The Doctor". And the catch... she was in a coma as a child for a long time. That trauma was part of what made her become a nurse. So like... this was probably the biggest decision of her life. And she went for it. So he gave her the gift...

However, I'm gonna try to put this lightly... she's a bit of a bitch. I'm still learning about her, and this game is absolutely nuts in how it will simulate these kinds of behavioral traits, especially with personality mods included. She's a misandrist, and she started to be very aggressive against vampire dude, very insulting in very deep ways, and regularly. This hit a breaking point and he actually broke up with her. This was while there was a third colony member that just joined, but he was away helping another faction harvest crops. Protein, is his name. Quite an unfortunate nickname, considering these two are literal cannibals, it kinda goes with the blood drinking thing. Like, not exclusively cannibalistic, but like... they consider themselves higher life-forms than humans, and consider human meat a sacred food as part of their spiritual beliefs. So, Protein... I couldn't pass up the chance to try to rescue that dude, and I was so glad he decided to join. But, what happened tonight was... the vampire dude... okay, he needs to do this thing called "deathrest" every... month or so? And it's basically like a 2-4 day coma where he's just out of commission, but if he completes it... he can get some pretty cool perks like faster movement and more nutrition from blood and stuff. And it's kinda mandatory, because he'll get pretty sick if he doesn't do it. So vampire dude (Lorall) goes in for his deathrest, and his ex-wife (Sylph) decides to hook up with Protein the next day. Yep. And then the second Lorall wakes up, he goes to cook some meals, then Sylph bee-lines into the kitchen, breaks the news to his face and starts insulting him again. And they get in a physical fight, but Sylph is a non-combatant, so like... she doesn't do acts of violence, despite initiating a fight... so it like... turned into a dude beating his vampire ex-wife, which was kinda really uncomfortable.

I don't like encountering infidelity or abuse stuff in story games like this. I mean, at all, really. It makes me really, really uncomfortable. I know it's important to include those things because they are things that happen and it's important for people to not think life is all sunshine and rainbows, that these things do happen in life, and when they do they look like this, as a cautionary tale. So people can recognize when those things are coming up, you know? I think that's super important. But, it still makes me really just want to stop recording, and I dread when it happens when I stream, it's just like... I start freezing up and go... no... no, come on... what are you doing... make better decisions, please, you're supposed to be a protagonist.

Well, here's another fun complication. I have over 7 hours of raw footage to work with here. I just played it back for the first bit because I didn't remember the character names by heart (I only really retain those when I say them out loud a lot). And... the videos don't have audio. YEP. 7 hours of silent film. It's still useable, I'm planning on doing the whole thing in the form of a "captain's log" journal entry style narration. Big shock, huh? And I don't mind the challenge of doing foley work. It's just a bummer. All I needed to do was fix one setting, but I didn't think to because I assumed OBS would do it for me, the whole default sound driver thing. But nope... so... cool...

Anyway, enough about that for right now. I thought the story was cool, though it did take some uncomfortable turns, maybe that just spices up the story in ways that I would not creatively have gone, maybe that's just a creative curveball that I need to see how it plays out. Like a main character dying or something, and you just need to see how it goes. The ex-wife turns out to not be the nicest person in the world, she's actually kinda cruel and vindictive, and aggressive. And the protagonist narrator, the vampire dude, is... physically abusive. And... does abuse really have the same implications for immortal beings who heal completely within hours? Does it carry the same weight? It definitely opens some interesting ethical questions.

Okay, enough about that for now, for real this time. I decided to make a present for my cat. Oooo okay, first I did yoga, that was good, I missed it yesterday, THEN I started to re-wrap my cat's big cat tree thing. It was a hand-me-down, the scratching rope was all torn to shit and cats really don't like scratching on that, so I ordered new sisal rope which came in yesterday. I cleaned up the carpet, trimmed it, tore out the old rope (salvaged what I could for god knows what craft project in the future) and put in the new stuff. It actually looks much nicer. I have another one to do on another one of the legs, but now that I know how to do it, it should be easy. I also joked about the only christmas tree I had was my cat tree, so I said screw it and decorated her tree with some christmas lights, my first time ever having my own christmas tree of any kind. I don't know if she even cares about the lights, but it was a nice moment for me. =D

Then I had a really good conversation with my mom. Like, things are getting surreal. She's opening her mind and educating herself a lot about mental health stuff, and she's starting to see everything that I've been seeing. And I feel like she's finally learning my language, which... is incredibly disorienting after like 4 years of feeling like I'm speaking Japanese to her. But it's very good. And she has a lot of insight about my personal history from childhood which has been immeasurably valuable in combatting my impostor syndrome. And she told me some really cool stories about my grandfather, who was apparently a lot like me too in a lot of ways, and was a pilot, which I always thought was really cool. We spent some time talking about Christmas and traditions and church and that kinda stuff, and the whole... ritual? I guess? Like... keeping up appearances, and getting attendance points? Making sure you show up for X or else you're going to get punished or some shit. And it was really nice to be on the same page about it, and I got to share some of my ancient cultural research about like... the origins of holidays like Christmas around this time of year. Why we celebrate family gatherings and even feasts in the middle of winter, of all times. What the point is. The Spirit of Christmas, right? Because this is a rough fucking time of year. Especially if you're in the North, I don't know if it's the same in the extreme Southern Hemisphere, but I'll tell ya... The lack of daylight. The cold. The difficulty traveling. The difficulty in heating. And I think back to the past, even just like 150 years ago, which is like... nothing, like 2 human lifespans. This was the time of year that a lot of people would just... not make it to Spring. Food would run out, people would get sick, travel would become near impossible, you were isolated and stuck with people. You need to make a deliberate point to ground that. To all individually remind yourselves "this is my family, we're all in this together, we need to appreciate each other and remember why we're all here". And that's what me and my mom did, and we told stories and bonded, it was very nice. I have always considered that... the true meaning of these kinds of holidays. And it was very nice to experience the real thing for once, and I really look forward to doing it again.

The rest of the night was leftovers, cookies and recording Rimworld. Now I'm super tired and I kinda want a bath before bed. I realize that despite having a fun chill day... I didn't do anything for myself except for 26 minutes of yoga. The cat tree was for my cat, the Rimworld is for an imaginary nonexistent audience, the phone call was for both my mom and myself. Well... the cookies were for me... XD So I kinda want to go draw a nice hot bath - at 3:30 AM - because it's cold as shit, and fuck it, it's my holiday, too. And if anyone is really bothered by me filling a tub at 3:30AM... I mean... what can I really do about that? They can get over it.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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umichenginabroad · 2 years

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Versailles, Amusement Park, and Wandering Around

Saturday was spent in Versailles!

I took the RER—the train that makes few stops in Paris proper and serves to connect the outskirts of the city to the inner city—over to Versailles. So here comes the list of things that everyone says about Versailles. Wow! The palace is so beautiful and opulent! Everything is gold! Can you imagine living in a place like this? These gardens are massive and so well kept! What would it be like to just take a stroll in your private gardens every morning? And it goes on. Sure, these things are all true, and all things I felt while there. And don’t get me wrong, the place is amazing, but I wasn’t all that wowed by it. The museum part of the palace seemed quite small actually, and I felt like I got much more mileage out of my free Louvre ticket (as a student) than I did with my way-too-expensive Versailles ticket. Everyone did say that the real attraction of Versailles is the gardens. And this was certainly true. You could get lost in there if you’re not careful, they’re all filled with cool patterns in the flowers! Certainly something very cool to see from above.

Palace at Versailles

But soon after we got into the gardens, the sky opened up and a torrential downpour of rain hit us. I, like an idiot, took my laptop in my bag with me for no reason. Luckily my friend had an umbrella and I gave him my stuff to keep dry. But to keep everything dry, I walked outside the umbrella and got soaked. Honestly, once I was wet, it wasn’t too bad. We did get some more time to enjoy the gardens once we were all wet, and it was a little nicer with less tourists crowding up the place.

Lots of Rain

The next day, I went with a friend to Parc Astérix, a theme park based on a French comic book series! We had the best time there. The original plan was to go to Disney, but Disney was about three times the price and I had heard that it’s less fun for older kids, but to go instead to this Parc Astérix.

Parc Astérix is really great: so well themed, filled with cheeky puns and slapstick humor, and isn’t in the price-gouging machine like it appears Disney is… The only issue with it is that it’s rather far out from Paris, and no public rail lines run out that way. You have to take a bus from CDG Airport instead. We ended up Ubering on the way over (which was a fortune) and taking the bus to the RER back, which took two hours.

Well-themed Roller Coaster Station, Supposed to be a Greek Train Station

Astérix is about a village of Gaulish people who fight the Roman empire and travels around the world when doing so. Therefore, different regions of the park are themed on these travels. There’s the Egyptian area with the coaster Osiris, the Greek themed with a statue of Zeus in funny pink-with-rubber-duckies underwear, and the Gaulish forest playing Celtic music. It’s so well done, and would recommend it 10/10. As for the little elements of humor in the park… it’s based on a comic book, so elements of the books’ humor are certainly in there. Rix in Gaulish meant king, so Astérix, the main character’s name, is a Gaulish-inspired play on words with the word asterisk. His sidekick, Obélix, is a play on words with obelisk, and their dog, Idéfix, is a pun on the French word “Idée Fixe,” pronounced the same, meaning obsession. The park also took inspiration to create more of these names; the stations to help guide your visit were named Atonservix, playing on “À Ton Service,” meaning at your service! That made me laugh a lot when I figured it out for the first time. Plenty of other funny things you come across when you visit the park.

Left: Obélix in his natural habitat. Right: Zeus's Rubber Ducky Underwear ;)

We hit, by the end of the day, almost all the rides in the park.

Monday was spent mostly relaxing. I walked around for many hours trying to discover new areas of Paris that I hadn’t seen yet. Though I only live about a ten-minute walk from it, I hadn’t yet seen Place de la Nation, a town square, since it’s in the opposite direction. I decided to head down that way with a friend of mine. We ended up at the Boulevard Périférique, the boulevard that encloses Paris proper. It’s a rather stark border; you certainly can feel the second you’ve left Paris.

Nothing too exciting on Tuesday, but I did get a chance to explore the Marais a little more. I also explored the Marais Wednesday afternoon. Over the two days, I was able to see both the Jewish Quarter, Pletzl, filled with falafel restaurants, and Marché des Enfants Rouges (market of the red kids), a North African and Lebanese market. The food from both were delicious, and both L’As de Falafel in Pletzl and that Marché are must-eats.

Top Left: Place de la Nation, Top Right: Pletzl Sign, in Hebrew, and Bottom: Marché Des Enfants Rouges

Tuesday dinner was another Eiffel Tower light-show watch party, and Wednesday was a Thermo class bonding dinner over Vietnamese food! On the way home, we stopped at the Arc de Triomphe and climbed up at sunset.

More exciting updates to come…

Ian Rosenberg

NA&ME

IPE Paris

#IanRosenberg #ipeparis #umichenginabroad #ipesummer2022

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mirekat · 2 years

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hi! i was just wondering what thoughts you might have about the use and effectiveness of fictional languages in written (fan)work? especially, scenes wherein conversation takes place only in said language? it’s been fun to play with, but i’m not sure what the best practices are.

Heya! My first thought is, I love it! Do it! I mean, I've never posted a fic with long passages of Dahkurja dialogue, and as far as I know the only DS9 language with a broad fan-created vocabulary is Kardasi (whence I do not go) so I don't know how common my opinion is. But I'd definitely like to read a scene with dialogue in, say, Rihan, as long as there's enough context to follow it :)

Figuring out how to establish that context, though, has been the most challenging part of my conlang experiments. Judging from what I've written and read, I'd say that translating every line is not the most effective tactic: a few italicized lines of translation are fine, but too many of them break up the passage visually and narratively. And, I mean, part of the fun of using an alien language is the alien-ness of it, right? As a reader I want to feel disoriented, to have to pick at the structure of the sentences in order to figure out what's going on, and too much translation makes it easy to skip that process.

So I tend to prefer a higher proportion of indirect cues, usually from one character's attempts to parse semantic nuances, or from their observations of body language, etc. The easy way to do this, I think, is to write from the POV of a character new to the language. That's why my self-indulgent all-Dahkurja story is written from Dax's perspective, not Kira's. But I think it could also work with a character speaking in a context where precision is key and misinterpreting a double-meaning could be disastrous (Rihan...?). Or if the source's meaning is contested--I've tried a bit of this with Kira reading Ru'ach, the pan-Bajoran liturgical language. Either way, though, I think scenes like this are most effective when they’re compact. I have a love-hate relationship with very close first- or third-person narrators, and can find long blocks of somaticized introspection stifling. That’s me, of course; your mileage may vary.

Finally, in terms of other best-practices: if you're working with a language that's been developed and made public by a specific fan or group of fans, it seems both customary and respectful to acknowledge those people by name in your notes. Celebrate the collaborative process!

At any rate, those are some of my amateur’s thoughts on fics and fictional languages. I hope it's ok that I'm replying publicly. I know I've got mutuals with much deeper knowledge of literature, linguistics and fandom than I have, so they might have more incisive comments to add!

But tl;dr, though: if you feel like writing a bunch of thorny conlang dialogue, DO IT DO IT DO IT! Whether or not you want to share it with the rest of us, I think the world could use more weird languages.

#on fanfiction #of bajor #word problems #asks #@starry-bite

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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If you were editor of Nightwing's book ever since at least the start of Rebirth to today and you were given free reign, what would your story mandates?

Oh no, this is dangerous. LOL. Hmm, I have no idea what to shoot for here, so I'll try to keep it to ten. That's reasonable right? Ten is good. Yeah. Is fine.

Okay, so, in no particular order:

1) Let Dick be competent 101. None of this him having to play hype man for every other character to pop up in HIS title bullshit. Nope. That's not what they're there for. He's the lead man, LET HIM BE THE LEADING MAN. Like sure, everyone has their areas of expertise, he doesn't need or have to be the best at everything, blah blah blah.....but its about the nuance. All of that is kinda lip service because the thing is, you don't go into MOST comic books and NEED to be reminded of that because the lead characters of those books are all constantly getting saved or shown up or chastised by every guest star in their books, you know? This is a very weird, very niche phenomenon very specific to Dick's character, and I'm super over it. I'm here to read about the guy who has literally been doing this longer than most superheroes twice his age. The guy who's been doing this since before he hit double digits. The born acrobat. The destined ultimate warrior or whatever of Gotham's Ornithological Society Of Murder and Pretentiousness. Gimme that guy. And that guy doesn't need to be 'humbled' every other page, because the thing is, he's not some egomaniac to begin with so the everpresent need to humble him doesn't actually come off as humbling! It just comes off as pandering and not even to actual fans of the actual character, so its like.....wyd DC.

2) Let other people take responsibility for their own crap with Dick rather than always just expecting a mea culpa from him. I'm so unbelievably tired of the words I'm sorry from Dick. I love personal accountability, so I never thought I'd have to say this about a character, but enoooooough. They have made it completely in character for this dude to apologize to everyone ELSE for being brainwashed, getting amnesia, being KILLED, like.....the amount of things he's groveled for forgiveness for when he didn't actually do a damn thing wrong or worse yet, was the ACTUAL victim of is like....pretty damn staggering. And meanwhile, there's nary a peep of apology from the people who regularly insult or belittle him, get physically violent with him, take advantage of him or take him for granted, etc, etc, etc. Its entirely too one-sided and imbalanced, and the pendulum needs to swing the other direction, like YESTERDAY, and in a fairly big way, IMO.

3) None of this Baby's First Social Justice Awakening 101 crap. I'm sorry, but no. Especially not when you go out of your way to acknowledge that Dick is Romani, only to then turn around and act like he's only JUST had his eyes opened to an awareness of like, classism and poverty and the real struggles people face day to day? Sorry not sorry, but especially for other white writers out there, do not use people of color as self-inserts for dipping a toe into Learning To See Past Privilege. And especially when talking about a character who has a history of being actively abused and hurt by the system and institutions of power, or hell, even leaving out that particular origin story, who has still been out on the streets helping people since he was a literal child. You can not tell me that this is his first face to face experience with social issues, or the first time he's had the inclination to try and address those head on. (And its also particularly egregious that the people second-guessing Dick in his own title and giving him reality checks or acting like they have more of an awareness of all this than he does like, happen to all be white? OPTICS. LEARN ABOUT THEM. COMMON SENSE. GET SOME.)

Know what would actually be a better way to approach this? Flashbacks. Show us Dick running into situations that make him think back to a case when he was still Robin, when he and Batman had started fighting over their approaches to things, actually SHOW us those conflicts and how their viewpoints had started diverging, and how much of that was due to Dick not having the same experiences as Bruce, or the same standing in society, no matter what house he lived in. THEN you can jump BACK to the present, with the reminder/awareness that this is something that isn't NEWS to Dick, but that he in the past felt he was forced to make his peace with as something he wasn't in a position to do that much about....only NOW, he's in a very DIFFERENT position, and suddenly it just hits him how he's still acting like he did when he was limited in resources or in having to be part of a chain in command or having to factor other responsibilities into things....now he ACTUALLY has the power and the resources to make meaningful change in the ways he ALWAYS wanted to, but maybe just needed time to figure out HOW.

Like you know what would have made Shawn Tsang's story arc so much better? If Dick didn't just remember her as the Pigeon's one time teenage sidekick he'd briefly fought as a kid, but like.....if he remembered her as someone he and Bruce had FOUGHT about. Because he didn't agree with sending someone to juvie for defacing public property as a form of political protest, when it was someone's LIFE who was going to be irrevocably damaged by that while the damage to the city could be fixed with a check, and what made Dick any more deserving of Bruce's leniency and faith in his potential or underlying goodness than Shawn?

But he was still a kid himself back then, and when Bruce responded with his usual conviction, talking about the importance about rule of law and etc etc, Dick just didn't have the words to get through to him then, to get him to understand that this wasn't just Dick not getting it because he was too young, it was BRUCE not getting it, that Dick was literally just saying well he wasn't too young to have been in juvie himself, and of the two of them, he's the one who has experience there so why was Bruce's opinion on whether this was the punishment that fit the crime the one that got to hold more weight here? When Dick's the one who knows what that punishment actually LOOKS like beyond the abstract, for whom it was a reality that still haunts him in ways that even defacing a few statues of some rich old fucks doesn't deserve?

Or hell, go back FURTHER than when he was Robin. Idk where any of those posts are, but I've always wanted to see something where Dick maybe runs into someone he remembers from his time in juvie, maybe a guard who is like, the source of the reasons Dick mistrusts figures of authority and is so hung up on independence and not being under anyone's thumb, or maybe someone who was in there with him, another kid who looked out for him when he didn't have to, etc. Gimme Dick tackling head-on his firsthand awareness that there's no rehabilitation to be found in a jail for kids, when most of those kids don't even need rehabilitation in the first place and only did what they did in order to survive or escape from worse situations or like, were there purely because of racist cops, etc. Let him go after THAT system, driven by personal experiences and memories that maybe only hit him in full after recovering his memories from the Ric Grayson arc, like they're things that he put in a box in his mind a long, long time ago because he didn't have the spoons or reserves to deal with them when he was a kid still so traumatized in so many ways, like, something had to give and so he put all those memories away for another day and just....never got back to them because life kept hitting him with new and fresh trauma every week.

But now something has him thinking back to those early days in Gotham, and reminding him that not everyone had a Bruce Wayne willing and able to give them an out from that place or acrobatic skills to escape it on their own, and like. You want to do something about the cycles of violence in Gotham and Bludhaven? Why not start with the places that literally MANUFACTURE cruelty on an institutional level, that teach kids that no matter what they did to get put there, even if that was nothing at all, they're all going to be treated the same way and given no reason NOT to do whatever it took to be top dog in a dog eat dog world by the time they got out.

There's SO many better approaches to social awareness in the Batbooks than what we're seeing, and like. Sheesh. The bar is way too low.

4) On a related note, if I'm editor of the Nightwing book, the FIRST thing I'm doing is making it a priority to find a writer of color for that book, ideally someone of Rom descent. Its waaaaay past time to let a Romani writer take the reins on Dick, Wanda, Pietro or Doom, aka some of the only prominent Romani characters out there? You can't tell me that there aren't talented writers who identify as Roma who would be more than willing to add their perspective to Dick's archive of narratives, and if an editor's gotta go looking for them? Go fucking look. DC and its fans have milked a lot of mileage out of the idea of Dick being Romani with very little in the way of nuanced storytelling to show for it in the past twenty years, and if DC wants to trot out little reminders that Dick is Romani every couple years, like in the form of a freaking line that has no follow up or expansion to any degree and is offset by an internal monologue that otherwise reads as incredibly privileged, the least they can do is TRY to expand on that with the narrative perspective of someone they claim to be representing via that character.

And no, this isn't gatekeeping, this is prioritizing. Its not about preventing other writers from writing this character, like just for the hell of it, its about being proactive about finding a writer who can write specific aspects of this character that have long gone unaddressed or poorly represented. And like. Okay. Its not easy breaking into the comics industry for anyone, but its particularly not easy for marginalized writers. Most every major comic book company just recites 'make your own stuff first and then show us that' but when you're a writer specifically, finding a compatible artist to partner with on creator-owned indie stuff first, when those artists are in the same position as you are and apologetically and understandably tend to have to take paying work over yours if you can't pay except on the back end, like....there are a lot of hurdles to getting your start in comic books, and while there are more and more marginalized writers in comics these days, DC and Marvel kinda fucked up, because you know what?

After being told 'make your own first, then we'll talk,' writers DID do just that....but then found out that well, due to the ease of online distribution and access these days, for any writers who CAN find an artist to partner with, its a hell of a lot easier to get their content out there these days WITHOUT a major publisher behind them.....and for a lot of marginalized writers in particular, its worth it to keep full creative control in exchange for smaller circulation. Especially when they don't have to deal with editors 'softening' their work to make it more palatable for audiences that quite frankly aren't necessarily their primary target. So yeah, marginalized voices are becoming more and more present in comics, but Marvel and DC for the most part are keeping the same voices centered they always have, and what these voices have to say is becoming less and less relevant and outdated. Because much like this arc from Taylor, even when they DO dip their toes into story matter that's of interest to wider audiences, they're doing so to a degree that still puts them years behind the conversations everyone else is having.

5) The same holds true of disability representation. I stopped reading Taylor's run for a lot of reasons but his way of responding to people unhappy with his depiction of Babs was a key one. If I'm editor on a book, and someone tweets at one of my writers that their depiction of a disabled character was hurtful because it feels like they're doubling back on everything Babs has ever said about not being defined by or ashamed of her disability and now its being treated like a dirty little secret, and that writer's response is essentially to just laugh at them and say there's nothing wrong or ableist about their writing of a disabled person, TO a concerned disabled person? That writer's ass is getting fired. Full stop.

Either you give a shit about this stuff or you don't. Don't pay your readers lip service about how important social issues are to you and how much you care about using superhero narratives to inspire people on these matters if you're gonna turn around and show your ass the second you don't feel comfortable and prioritized by the conversation, like it wouldn't exist without your oh so valuable contributions. ESPECIALLY if you don't identify as sharing the same identity of the marginalized character you're writing. You are a guest in someone else's lived experiences at that point, and you think you've got the right to belittle and talk down to the people who LIVE THERE? Fuck off, my dude.

6) Re-center Dick as someone who the superhero community RESPECTS. I love seeing Dick depicted as someone who has an awareness of his own limitations and an appreciation for what others bring to the table, and so I'm not opposed to him calling on others when he needs to.....but I also would like to see more of the opposite. But not in the way we usually see it these days, where he's asked to come help with a crisis and then usually second-guessed the whole way, and then sent back home without so much as a thank you when its done. Yawn. Sorry. I've read that story by now.

You know what story arc I freaking LOVED as a kid, back in the 90s? In Green Lantern, when Kyle Rayner first became the sole GL, one of his very early arcs, before he ever joined the JLA or anything....was him realizing how little he knew about being a superhero. He was like, my predecessors all had a full fledged CORPS to teach them everything they needed to know, but I had a few lines of exposition from a funny little blue guy in a red pillowcase and then I was off to the races. That's not good enough. There's so much I don't know about being a hero, I don't even KNOW what I still need to know.

So he went on kinda a superhero training roadtrip. He went to Metropolis to ask Superman for advice, he went to Batman to learn from Batman and Robin (Tim at the time). He went to Wonder Woman, Sentinel (Alan Scott, the first Green Lantern), etc, etc. And in the end, Kyle very much became his own kind of hero who wasn't just a pastiche of all those other heroes and the advice they gave him, but like....this put him on the road to that.

And I'd love to see something like that happen in Dick's solo title. We've seen him train in a team setting, we've seen him train the other Robins.....I'd love to see like, young superheroes from OTHER books, not ones created by the title, but like names people actually recognize from other franchises, like, guest star in Nightwing's book to learn from HIM, specifically. I wanna see something where Wally looks at the latest speedster and is like, you know what, if you really wanna be the best hero you can possibly be, then Nightwing's who you gotta go to, because there's no one I trust to make a better hero out of someone than him. I want the newest kid on the JLA block to worry that people aren't taking him seriously because of his age or experience, and he's always hearing them talk about Nightwing and how young he was when he started and so if anyone knows something about how to gain the respect of your older superhero peers, that's the guy to talk to.

Gimme Dick's couch being crashed on at various times by a half dozen new or upcoming young superheroes who all heard or figured out that if they really want to up their superhero game, Nightwing's the guy to see.

7) Bring back Bea. There's no long paragraph expansion on this, its really simply. Bring back Bea. She was one of the freshest breaths of air in Dick's supporting cast in ages, most of the current run is based off her character direction in the first place, she's literally the best suited TO help Dick in this venture, and the reasons they gave for writing her out of Dick's life were all bullshit and they just wanted to focus on his previous relationships, which would be fine if they didn't fall into the same two endless cycles of bring back up, go nowhere with, awkwardly avoid each other for years, rinse and repeat. Like. Bring back Bea, please and thank you, the end.

8) Focus on new villains. Heartless is meh, but the idea of new villains is still better IMO than rehashing Blockbuster, Zucco, etc. Like, nostaglia ain't it. If I want to read Blockbuster fucking up Dick's life, I can do that. They're called back issues. The thing is, love it or hate it, the Blockbuster arc WAS iconic. It left its mark. And anything that doesn't leave just as much of a mark, if they're going to bring him up again, is just gonna be a waste of time, you know? It'll just dilute his overall presence when like, what he was - worked fine as is. We don't need Round Two.

The trick to good villains, IMO, is they have to speak to a fight that needs fighting.

What I mean by that is....the best villains are those who resonate on a more instinctive level because they embody something that already exists in a reader's mind as a conflict that needs fighting. Like, if superheroes exist, if the embodiment of larger than life presences and forces devoted to protecting the world from various things are real....then their villains need to embody the kinds of fights or conflicts that NEED larger than life figures to combat them, at least on a one to one level.

Look at Superman and Lex Luthor. Superman at his core embodies the strength of community. He's the ultimate hero of the people, his essence is that he was the last survivor of a doomed race who was raised by two honest, hard working people to see the beauty in just being ONE of them, in using what he had on behalf of all of them and not just himself. In contrast, Lex Luthor is basically the embodiment of capitalist greed, of excess, of the entitlement of being able to have anything with a snap of your fingers and thus assuming that gives you divine mandate to make the kinds of choices that he sees as only his right to make.

He hates Superman, ultimately, because Superman is the WRONG savior of the people. He wants their only savior to be HIM, half the time he honestly believes he's saving the world FROM Superman, but just as often he's perfectly content to be the villain and not shy about it....because Lex Luthor's ultimate motivation is he wants everyone to know when he's dead and gone that LEX LUTHOR WAS HERE. He genuinely doesn't care WHAT his impact or legacy is at the end of the day, just that it exists and it overshadows most everything else...because all that really matters to him is the irrefutable proof that HE mattered. And thus at their cores, Superman and Lex are perfectly opposed. Ideally situated to eternally be in conflict, their own forever war, because their core natures are incompatible. They CAN'T compromise, without compromising themselves and essentially ending up as someone totally other than who and what they are already.

And you can go down the list. The Joker is the chaos to Batman's order, while Mr. Freeze is the stagnancy of that order taken too far, he's what you get when you freeze everything in your grief and refuse to let anything go on, anything new grow, because that would mean having to admit once and for all that what you're mourning is really gone. Two-Face is the ultimate embodiment of Man vs Self, a once good man at war with his own worse nature, and reminding everyone who looks at him how easily they could fall to the same fate.

And so on and so on. What Dick needs, is more of the same. Like, as much as I'm not a huge fan of Talon stories, I maintain that the Court of Owls were a great foil for him - just they tend to be poorly used in canon as well. But I also think how poorly they come off in canon has a lot to do with canon not really touching on WHY they're such a perfect foil for Dick....and that's Dick's history with being outside the system, mistreated and even exploited by the system. Because the Court, their core concept, is they ARE the system. They are entrenched, enfranchised, institutional power, passed down through generations, dynastic control that is a perfect counterpart to the dynastic power of the Wayne family, embodied in its youngest generation in the form of Bruce's FOUND family, the children he adopted regardless of whether or not his peers found them deserving of that honor. The Court, and their entire....thing...about the Gray Son, is the entitled fury of those denied something they deem theirs simply because they WANT it, and who will burn the whole world down rather than admit defeat or let someone else have it instead.

And that resonates. It could resonate a lot MORE if DC would actually lean into those concepts and allow Dick to explore how the Court are nothing he's not used to, they're literally made up of the same people who have looked down on him ever since he came to Gotham, but now they're actually a face and a name put to all those attitudes, something he can literally FIGHT BACK AGAINST. The Court are literally human-sized embodiments of everything and everyone who's tried to confine Dick since his parents' deaths, tried to define him without his permission, tried to make him other or lesser than who and what he is.....and who thus now exist in a form that Dick can literally BATTLE. So that he doesn't HAVE to just take this stuff lying down.

Thanks to the Court, he doesn't HAVE to just passively accept it, that this is just how life is, that some people are going to view him this way and think this about him and there's nothing he can do about it. He CAN do something about it, in superhero stories. He can kick its ASS, in the form of the Court of Owls and everything its members think about him and intend for him. He can refuse to bow down to them, to accept their mark on him. He can say lol, no, and then blow their shit sky high, ideally with a little help from his family. He can BEAT them, in this incarnated form, and in doing so, even though he can't beat everything they stand for and represent, that victory still matters, still means something symbolic to readers it resonates with.

And that's what we need more of. Villains created specifically to embody concepts that are diametrically opposed to Dick and what he represents. The system, yes, but also villains who embody the kind of tyranny and control he fights back against in his constant battles for autonomy and self control. Villains who embody the 'new hopes' of a second generation just like Dick himself is the focal point of the hopes embodied by the second generation of heroes. I'm actually not the hugest fan of multiversal constant Dick Grayson, but I might like it more if he had an opposite number there, someone he was specifically contrasted with. Idk.

But you get it.

9) Dick having a social life. Gimme the Titans and his siblings showing up JUST to show up. We have room enough for at least a couple pages every other issue where we just get to see these characters having some breathing room, taking a beat to stop and be something other than just a superhero, to be human as well. There's more to life than 24/7 fighting, even for them, and that's largely been lost in modern superhero comics, which kinda sucks, because that was what made most of the more iconic and lasting dynamics between various characters like, STAND the test of time. The larger than life battles between good and evil might be what many of us come to superhero comics FOR, but the relatable back-and-forths and ups and downs of their private lives spent with friends and family tends to be what keeps most of us coming BACK. And lately its all just mission, mission, mission, and I'm like blah, blah, blah and its like, meh, meh, meh. Y'know? Give the guy some down time, and let his friends come spend it with him.

10) Boone. This is purely self-indulgent, but if you know anything about me, you know my obsession with Robin: Year One, Dick's brief time at Vengeance Academy, and the hate/hate relationship he has with his brief frenemy from that period, Boone aka Shrike. This character has SOOOOO much potential to be Dick's true archnemesis and rival, and like. *Sobs* I can't get into it all again. Its too much. I can't do it.

Okay, I absolutely can. And will, probably. But like. Later.

BONUS ROUND:

Other thing I would absolutely insist upon if I were Nightwing editor....

GET THAT FUCKING MEME SHIRT ABOUT BRUCE SLAPPING DICK THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.

Like. Seriously. WHAT THE HELL. Why would you double down on THAT? Why is Babs STILL wearing it? (Last I checked, like I think I saw it in a scan from last issue? I'm pretty sure its still there? If not, forget this entire rant, and I am very embarrassed. Okay not that embarrassed. I don't really care if I'm wrong here but like, in case I'm not)...

WHY. Who thought that was funny? No, seriously, on behalf of any other abuse survivors who like me are SERIOUSLY not amused, who the FUCK thinks its FUNNY to have one of Dick's best friends sporting a shirt that no matter what it represents IN universe, to readers OUT of universe, is always going to call to mind the fact that this meme only freaking EXISTS because of all the times DC has obliviously and without acknowledgment written Bruce abusing his children, including the BFF that Babs is literally wearing that right in front of.

Like omg do you hate her, DC? What other possible reason could you have for thinking that would be a cute, funny thing for her to wear around the guy getting SLAPPED, by his DAD, in your shirt's iconography.

Okay I'm done.

LOL.

Sorry, that last one was brewing for awhile. Deep breaths. Woo.

91 notes · View notes

whats-rambled-rambled · 3 years

Text

Long Nights - part 1

Neil x Reader

Chapter 1: Don’t kill my vibe

summary: all days blend into one, and as your friend brings back an unusual challenge, you are more than happy to accept it

warnings: 18+, explicit language, some violence, blood mention

author’s note: Woot woot, new series hype!

This setting has been brewing inside me for months now, and what started as an idea for a one-shot, turned out to be a fully fleshed out series (f!Reader again, for more gender neutral one check out StuckInReverse series!). And a good chance to introduce this brand new dynamic. Aaaand to play with some rogue tropes - because guess who's gonna teach Neil all he knows about locks and how to pick them? (canon what canon or at least let’s forget the implications for a moment and let's enjoy all the HAND CONTENT instead)

I’m really excited to share this story with you all!

The song for this chapter is Sigrid - Don’t Kill My Vibe

Anyway, enjoy! All feedback is greatly appreciated, let me know what you think?

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Tag list: @vaneilla @ergunbilge @invertedneil @wanderedaway

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You absent-mindedly swirled your coffee and ice cubes clinked against the tall glass as you watched a gutsy pigeon searching for crumbs under a table right next to yours. The green and purple feathers on its collar were shining in the morning sun, not as merciless as it was about to get in just a few hours, but still heating the crowded plaza to barely acceptable levels.

“I don’t know, man, all days blend into one, maybe it’s time to skip town again.”

Mahir leaned back on his chair, his glance sliding through the swarm of tourists pouring from the alley nearby.

“No new gigs?”

You mirrored his pose and shrugged.

“Some, but they just lack… pizzaz.”

“Pizzaz?”

“Yes,” - you sighed and gestured vaguely - “that certain oomph, that sparkle, excitement, when your heart starts beating faster at the sole thought--”

“You sure you’re not looking for...would say love but I know you too well, so... a good shag?” your companion chimed in with a sardonic smile plastered on his face.

You scoffed, amused by that insinuation.

“First of all - thank you,” you started, your eyes lighting up and your grin getting wider with every word. “Second - that thrill is better than a good shag, and after a job well done, you can ride that high much longer than even the best orgasm.”

“Forget I said anything--”

“And finally,” - you continued, ignoring his distressed groan - “you skip all the awkwardness of the morning after.”

Mahir raised his hands in defeat, and even though he looked as if he took a mental note to never tease you like that again, you were sure he knew exactly what you meant. After all, he was your favorite partner in crime, and even though he’d come clean (...or at least slightly cleaner) a few years ago, you still could count on him whenever you needed to pull off a spectacular and/or a straight-up batshit crazy stunt.

“How’s Paddsy?”

“Grand, as far as I know, but haven’t heard from him in years, why?” you asked, tilting your head.

Your friend looked at you with impish sparks in his eyes.

“I remember how you kept yourself amused during your teenage years.”

“The challenges?” You raised your brow and laughed at the memory. “Ha, petty theft is one way to fight a dullness of existence, all right.”

“I bet you’ve gotten sloppier with age.”

That taunt in his overly casual tone was clear as day. Were you really that bored, though?

“Please, I could do it right here and now without any prep.”

...yes.

He sent you a smug smile and started browsing the crowd for a possible target. “Okay, what about... that guy over there?”

You followed his gaze and your eyes laid on a pair of men, lost in a conversation, keeping to the peripheries of tourist groups as they walked through the square. One of them was gesturing with enthusiasm, a wide smile brightening his tanned face, the blond hair in complete disarray combined with a slightly unbuttoned white linen shirt with rolled-up sleeves and beige trousers completed a disheveled look. Couldn’t be older than thirty. He was accompanied by a more composed middle-aged Black man, a maroon polo shirt and grey suit pants complimented his fit and refined posture.

“The yellow mane or the polo shirt?” you asked and Mahir snorted in response.

“The polo one.”

You looked the stranger up and down as you assessed the case. Even from afar, you could see an outline of a wallet in the pocket of his trousers, and the short sleeves meant easy access to the watch.

You smacked your lips and pouted. “Too easy.”

“Okay, so both of them,” he said, watching with satisfaction as you perked up at the suggestion.

“Now we’re talking!” you laughed, clapping your hands. You pointed at Mahir’s camera sitting on the table, internally blessing his choice of hobbies. “Mind if I borrow this for a moment?”

“Sure, whatever.”

You bounced at your feet and grabbed the camera and its case, securing both straps on your shoulder. A sudden rush mixed with a familiar coldness as you got your head in the game.

“Be right back.”

Circling the crowd, you positioned yourself on the path of your targets, blending in with the crowd. Right then, nobody would tell you from other slaphappy sightseers, mesmerized by the architecture of the Old Town district. Stopping abruptly every few steps to take yet another photo. Too preoccupied to pay attention to your surroundings. Making it way too easy to bump into someone, you know? Or, if you were clumsy enough, two people one after another, in a little live-action pinball moment.

You raised the camera and stepped back right into the polo guy, yelping at the impact.

“Sorry!” you squealed, jumping out of his way. Straight into the blonde man. “Oh gee, I’m terribly sorry!”

“You all right?” he asked as he caught you, placing hands on your arms for a split-second hold, enough to prevent you from bouncing back and bumping into someone else.

You turned around and met the bright blue eyes studying you curiously.

“Yep,” you mumbled through sheepish laughter. “And you?”

He beamed, raking his unruly hair with his fingers.

“Yeah.”

Your gaze flitted back to his companion, who was looking at you two with polite interest, visibly eager to continue his stroll.

“Sorry again! Have a lovely day, gents!” you chirped, sending one more apologetic smile and squeezing between them to walk away in the opposite direction.

Ten steps later you twirled around. Aiming the camera at a statue nearby, you checked on the men with the corner of your eye. The blonde guy glanced over his shoulder for a moment, but he didn’t seem suspicious. Good.

You made your way back to the cafe and fell back on your chair.

“No sweat,” you said and smirked, handing the camera back to Mahir and placing the case on the table. You turned it around so he could see what was inside - two watches, some mileage card you pulled out of the polo guy’s wallet, and something you grabbed from the other one… an Oyster card for public transport in London? What a combo. And of course, you could have picked the entire wallets instead, but what would be the fun in that? You didn’t have to make their life that much harder, after all, you just wanted to prove a point.

Mahir peeked inside and smacked his tongue.

“Okay, you still got it.”

“Damn straight!” You reached for your abandoned coffee and emptied it in one swig. “But I’d better get going.”

“Wait, what about the loot?”

“Keep it,” - you shrugged, leaning in to place a small kiss on the bearded cheek - “and tip that nice waitress well, will ya?”

“Sure,” sighed Mahir and patted your hand on his shoulder. “Be careful out there, mate.”

“Always.”

You stepped out on the sunny square again. There was nothing particularly interesting on the agenda for the day, so you decided to take a longer and more scenic route to your apartment. You put on the headphones and with your usual playlist on shuffle, you maneuvered between groups of people on your way to one of the alleys. And just as you were about to cross the road, someone blocked your path. You glanced up and it took all your self-control to maintain a neutral expression, despite all the warning sirens blaring at the full volume inside your head. How even--

“Darling! Long time no see!” said the blonde man you’d just robbed gleefully and grinned, his arms spread wide as if you’d known each other for years. Without dropping a jovial face, he leaned in and gave you a chaste hug, using the opportunity to utter straight into your ear. “Don’t make a fuss and come with me.”

Bloody fantastic.

The stranger linked your arms together and started walking down the street, pulling you with him in a little too rushed version of a friendly stroll. It wasn’t your first rodeo, though.

“Where are you taking me?” you squealed, faking badly covered distress and scouting the area in search of his partner, but the polo guy was nowhere to be seen.

“Oh, we need to have a little chat,” he said nonchalantly, securing a grip on you with another hand on your arm. “And the streets today are awfully loud, don’t you think?”

He dragged you into a back alley, losing the chummy demeanor with every step further away from the crowds. Lucky for you, the new setting worked in your favor. You’d been indulging him long enough, anyway.

Shifting your balance, you stomped hard on his foot, using the element of surprise to break free. Grabbing the blonde strands, you pulled his head down to meet your flying knee. A muffled groan escaped the stranger’s mouth and his curses followed you when you dashed to a small back street to your right. These few seconds of a head start were more than enough though, especially since you knew the area like the back of your hand. And that’s why you didn’t hesitate when you reached a chain-link fence. You jumped and bounced off the wall, pulling up on the edge and vaulting through the obstacle with ease, then gracefully landed on the other side and turned around just to see the man hitting the fence with frustration. He glared at you, wiping the blood from his face, and you almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

“See ya!” you giggled and blew him a kiss, disappearing into another alley.

You emerged on the main street at a reasonable distance from the place you’d left the stranger, weaving between people on the busy pavement, making sure nobody followed you. After a few blocks, you grew quite certain that you’d lost the unwanted tail. You smiled to yourself. The day turned out to be way more exciting than you could have expected. And it wasn’t even noon yet.

You noticed a dark grey SUV pulling over next to you, but by the time you realized what was going on, it was already too late. The next thing you knew, you got dragged into the backseat and trapped between the blonde man and the polo guy. Shit.

You glanced at the driver, searching for clues about what you’d gotten yourself into. The woman behind a wheel gave off a paramilitary vibe, but you couldn’t be sure. Anyway, there was no point in trying to escape - you needed to wait for a more suitable moment. You didn’t have too much room to squirm around, so you just fixed your gaze on the road ahead.

“Well, this is awkward,” you said, breaking the silence as the car started moving again.

“As my colleague said - we need to talk.”

You looked to your right at the polo man. “Abduction is such an underrated conversation starter.”

“So is theft,” he noted, a shade of smile tainting the corner of his mouth. “I really liked that watch.”

“I have no idea--”

“We’ve checked the square’s surveillance system,” he interrupted you, but his statement was so ridiculous you just had to laugh it off.

“Now you’re insulting me.”

He raised a brow as he studied you with satisfaction. “You’d rather admit that you’re guilty?”

“No,” - you bridled, slowly getting tired of the whole charade - “but there’s no way you got to the feed so fast, and with how crowded it was out there, there is no way you’d find anything incriminating in there.” You hesitated for a moment, then narrowed your eyes. “Speaking of-- how did you even find me?”

A sudden movement to your left made you switch focus to the quiet blonde man. Still pressing a bunch of bloodied tissues to his face, he showed you his phone - a red dot was blinking steadily in the middle of a screen.

...tracking? You opened your mouth to ask a follow-up question, but then it hit you and your eyes flared up. That hug.

“Sneaky. I like it.” You grinned and nodded at him. “How’s your nose?”

He lowered his hand with the tissues. It was bruised and swollen, but you couldn’t tell if you’d managed to break it or not. Still - ouch.

“Never better,” he said and grimaced slightly.

“You should put some ice on it.”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“You don’t say.”

Biting your lip to stifle a giggle, you glanced back to your right. “So? What do you wanna talk about?”

The other man shook his head.

“Not in the car. We’re almost there.”

You looked out of the window to find out you were driving into an industrial zone, and not the nice part of it. You didn’t mind, though - abandoned and creepy factory buildings were your jam, and they made excellent locations if you ever needed a chance to escape.

After a few minutes, you reached your destination. You got out of the car parked near the entrance to an empty hall. The sunbeams were pouring inside through the broken windows near the ceiling, lighting up a small metal table and a pair of chairs.

“Kudos for prepping such a dramatic setting, gents,” you laughed, taking a seat at the table. The polo man sighed and sat in front of you, sliding a folder with documents your way. You peeked inside, only to confirm your suspicions. They got some serious dirt on you, all right.

“Let’s start again, properly this time. This is Neil,” - he said, pointing at his companion, who was standing nearby, leaning against a pillar - “and I’m The Protagonist.”

You gaped at him and slumped your shoulders. “The Protag--...you’re shitting me,” you huffed, but the man was staring at you indifferently. “Dude, your parents must hate you,” you snorted, not even trying to keep a straight face. “What’s wrong with-- ...I don’t know, David? Or some of the classics, like John?”

“That’s how everyone here addresses me, and I’d like you to do the same.”

“Do I have to?” you groaned as you looked at Neil. He simply nodded, so you had no other option but to roll with it. For now. “Ugh, fine,” you said, shrugging. “You guys are spies or something?”

“Or something,” said The Protagonist. “We use certain espionage techniques to our advantage.”

“Sure,” - you scoffed - “next thing you’re gonna tell me is that you need my help to save the world.”

Neil’s amused snort made you glance at him again. “Well, maybe indirectly.” Playful sparks lit up his eyes as he gave you a half-smile.

Are they for real? If that was an elaborate prank, this would be a good gotcha moment, but the men seemed serious enough.

You shifted on your seat, laughing nervously.

“Sorry to disappoint, but you’ve got the wrong gal.”

The Protagonist pointed at the folder in front of you.

“We need someone with your skills.”

...right. “Such as?”

“Lockpicking.”

You arched a brow. “Why? You need me to crack something for you?”

“No.” The Protagonist shook his head and took a deep breath. “We need you to teach our agents how to do it.”

“Hard pass,” you said, crossing your arms. “I’m not a tutor material.”

All of a sudden, a familiar voice rang behind you.

“Show her the lock.”

And then you connected all the dots.

“Mahir, you asshole!” you fumed, glaring at your friend as he joined you by the table. “Sloppier with age, I swear, you’re the main reason I have trust issues!”

“Main?” - he sent you a skeptical look - “What about--”

“Okay, you’re in top three, but mind you, today’s stunt alone got you five places up the table.”

“Oh no, I’m gonna cry myself to sleep tonight,” he mocked in his usual deadpan manner.

You huffed - “You better,” - mentally kicking yourself for falling for his ruse so easily. Maybe he was right. Maybe you’d lost your edge. That’s what you got for staying in one place for too long. You blinked rapidly, getting out of your head to focus on an item The Protagonist placed on the table. A small metal lock, pretty basic. No security pins, but you knew this model was made with sloppy tolerances that could give any beginner a headache.

“What’s so special about it?”

“Give it a try,” said The Protagonist and waved his hand in encouragement.

You reached to the pocket of your pants for a compact set of lockpicking tools you always had on you. Nothing fancy, rather a handy emergency set than anything serious - those were safely stored in your apartment, ready for the real work. Unlike the one you were about to do. Or so you thought.

You placed a tiny wrench at the bottom of a keyway and applied a minimal amount of tension, trying to set the first pin inside using a short hook. Trying and failing. The feedback from the tools was bizarre, like the regular laws of physics no longer applied to the lock’s mechanism.

“What in the fresh hell--” you uttered through gritted teeth, pulling out the tools to examine the peculiar lock.

Mahir smirked. “Enough pizzaz?”

“Shut up, I’m still mad at you,” you waved at him dismissively and focused back on The Protagonist, who was watching your attempts with polite interest. And a hint of a satisfied smile. “Where did you get that?”

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you,” he replied, leaning back on the chair. “At least for now, that is if you’d like to reconsider our proposal.”

You nibbled on your bottom lip, drumming the fingers on the table. Mahir, you bastard. Of course he knew you wouldn’t be able to resist an offer like this. Even if that meant a certain commitment, and that wasn’t something you were particularly fond of.

“Fine,” you sighed. “But I’m gonna teach only one person.”

“Deal.”

As you shook on it, Neil left his spot by the pillar.

“That will be me.”

You nodded in agreement and asked, “What about the lock?”

“Keep it,” said The Protagonist, standing up. As if he’d share the secrets straight away. “I want to hear your thoughts on it the next time we see each other.”

“And when is that gonna be?”

He just smiled enigmatically. “Soon. Mahir - a word?”

“Is he always like that?” you asked Neil as you got up, watching the others making their way towards the exit, but he just shrugged in return.

“He’s a busy man.”

You eyed your soon-to-be student curiously, and he responded in such, although suddenly losing some of the confidence he’d had before. Even with the bruised face, he radiated with this natural charm, a soft smile and the blonde strands falling into the bright blue eyes only adding to the overall appeal.

“Sorry about the nose.”

“Thanks,” - he smirked - “can’t blame you for that though, right?”

Grinning, you extended your hand in an informal truce offering.

“No hard feelings then?”

“Not at all,” he said as your palms clapped together and you smacked each other’s arms playfully.

With any leftover tension gone, all you had to do was to discuss the schedule and a few other crucial details. Neil took some notes and promised to get everything ready over the next few days. He even offered to drive you home, but you politely turned him down. A long walk, even slightly longer than previously anticipated, seemed more tempting.

Your fingers brushed against the weird lock in your pocket and you smiled to yourself.

For the first time in months, your heart started beating a little bit faster.

(next chapter->)

#neil tenet #neil tenet x reader #neil x reader #neil tenet fanfiction #robert pattinson #tenet #tenet fanfiction #the protagonist tenet #mahir tenet #neil tenet imagine #long nights

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theskywaslookingback · 3 years

Text

I want to talk more about my Memaw. It feels good, even if I’m just talking to the void.

The one central thing that I keep coming back to are the stories. I’ve always had a knack for storytelling, wrote my first book at three years old, and my cousin Ronny would always say “if you ask her what time it is, she’ll tell you how to build the clock.” Ive always liked to talk and to listen. There’s a special sort of communion that comes from Sundays after church and holiday dinners. While the boys would be off in the living room watching football and the other kids were outside playing tag, I’d be right there at the kitchen table soaking in the words of all the women around me. I got that from her, I think. My Memaw was the best story teller I’d ever known. She’d been the one who taught me to read, after all, and had spent her fair share of nights with me curled up in her lap as she read to me.

I can’t count the amount of times I’d heard the same stories, helped along with the scrapbooks she would keep. This is your momma when she was a baby, this is your Uncle Mike - yes he had hair back then! The alopecia didn’t set in until he was older. This is Ronny and Cinda, you look just like her as a baby. She had photos that dated back to the 1800s, her own great great great grandmother who was a full blooded Cherokee woman. She had photos of her daddy fixing the same car she learned to drive in, and photos of her learning to fix the exact same car.

They’d lived on a farm when she was little. Pepaw Gentry had been a farmer and a mechanic, did what he could to make money in a time not long after World War II. Memaw and her brothers and sister would go out to the fields and pick cotton or plant seed. They’d get a watermelon and place it by the irrigation pump and at noon when it was so hot they could barely stand it they’d go get that watermelon, cold from that irrigation water, and bust it open and eat it with their hands. They’d go to school so sunburned their noses would be peeling all day.

When she’d learned to drive she would take her car out drag racing. They lived way way out in the country, not even a stoplight in town, and she’d go out and race this little yellow roadster until she snapped the front axel and had to call her daddy and tell him what she’d been doing. Her came and got her, fixed the car, and told her to only use the car to get to and from school. He’d know, he said, because he’d look at the mileage. So she learned how to change the mileage on her car, and she kept racing.

She met my Ba when she was 16 and he was 18. He’d been driving around town with his cousin Perry and he saw her and he stopped the car. He said “Perry, that’s the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.” And Perry said she sure was. And Ba said, “I’m going to marry that girl some day.” And he’d gone over and asked if Memaw and the girl she was walking with wanted a ride. Memaw rolled her eyes and her friend said yes and they’d gotten into the car. Memaw didn’t give him her number and she lived about thirty miles away so he didn’t see her again for months. Then one day he was in a bar and he saw her. He walked over and said, “hey, I know you!” And she’d glared up at him and said “I do not!” But then she’d recognized him and gasped and threw her arms around his shoulders and said, “Glenn! Oh thank god!” Apparently her friend had brought her into town and immediately left her alone and she’d been hit on all night by a bunch of city boys. They got married less than a year later and would remain married for over 55 years until she died.

I’d never known love could be like that. I saw my own parents love up close, something fragile and volatile. I had a dad that was quicker to raise his voice and his hand than he was to ask a question. I saw my mom fade into nothing and walk glassy eyed through life. I didn’t know love could make you feel good. I didn’t know that you could still love like that when you were old.

But god did they make me see that. Memaw would offer Ba a candy and he’d ask “is it sour?” And she’d say “oh no, not really”. And he would eat it and his face would pucker and he’d sputter and she would laugh and laugh. I watched them do that for almost thirty years, my momma swears it had always been that way. That he would always take the candy just to make her laugh.

I got my temper from her too, I think. When she was a senior in high school she’d ordered her class ring, but had been sick the first week of school. When she finally went back in and asked for it the principal had apologized and said he’d given it away. So right then and there she’d dropped out of school. She went home to her daddy and said “I’m not going to school anymore, I’m not going to graduate” and she’d gone to cosmetology school instead.

My uncle had developed alopecia totalis as a child, which meant all of the hair on his body was attacked by his own immune system and fell out. When he’d started school in the 80s, around the time that AIDS had started being a thing mentioned in public, his classmates and their parents treated him like a pariah. They all assumed he had AIDS, and that being in the same room as him would make them all sick too. But one kid was the worst. My uncle had special permission to wear a baseball cap to school because of his condition, but one kid who was a couple years older would always steal it from him. Around this time my mom was in high school - she was ten years older than her brother - and she’d go to pick him up from kindergarten. She found him sitting on the ground with his hands over his head and this boy tossing my uncle’s hat back and forth with another kid. She’d shoved him and took the hat back and went home to tell Memaw. So Memaw went to the boy’s father and asked him to apologize, but the man said my uncle needed to toughen up. So what does she do? Does she tell her five year old son to suck it up? Does she leave it alone? No! This woman drives up to the school and she goes to the kindergarten teacher and rips her apart for not paying attention, then she goes to the other boys teacher and rips HER apart for not paying attention, THEN she goes to the elementary school principal to tear HER apart for allowing this to happen, AND THEN she goes to the superintendent of the school distract and reams HIM out for the shoddy work of all the people that work under him. This goes on for maybe two more years until Memaw decides to home school him for a year. The day she’d made that decision she’d gone back to the school with a LAWYER who threatened to sue the school district for grievous mental suffering being allowed by the continued bullying. She was like the epitome of Steve Rogers “I can go all day”.

I learned so much from her. How to listen, how to talk, how to read and write. How to stand up for myself, and when to back down. I learned what self worth was and self respect. I owe everything I am as an adult to her. I want to keep telling you her stories. I don’t want them to fade away.

#text #personal #not tma

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tamamatango · 4 years

Text

Let’s talk about Kururu, again

Apparently the fandom is growing all of a sudden so I feel like talking about Kururu again cuz that’s all I know how to do and it’s been a while

First off disclaimer that fandom is fandom and anybody can interpret any character any way they want and if you like to portray a character a certain way for whatever reason go for it, more power to you (unless you put them in pedo/incest relationships that are displayed as good in which case fuck you). But in my personal Kirbpinion(TM) the Funimation dub was a fucking mistake because so many fan content creators write a way different Kururu than what he is in canon cuz the dub never got to his best episodes and also upped the sadism to ridiculous levels. Listen I know it’s funny to joke that he’s the kind of guy that has 3 medieval torture chambers but hear me out. Kururu is by no means a perfect person, he’s genuinely pretty rude/blunt (though sometimes his straightforwardness is justified :P), has an ego, sometimes acts pretty gross around others and likes extreme and elaborate pranks way way way too much BUT.

Assuming you’ve watched far enough into the series (like 100+ eps) I do not really understand the interpretation that he doesn’t care about anyone and that friendship and love are things he is totally incapable of. He says that yes but if you pay enough attention to his dialogue it becomes pretty apparent that he displays this attitude for multiple reasons. One is that he does genuinely have a hard time expressing the emotions he feels and often has awkward/guarded ways of doing so. But also he says many times over the course of the series that he has a “reputation” to keep up and wants people to call him a jerk; he wants to look cool and rebellious all the time and he thinks a nasty apathetic attitude is what earns him that status (not claiming that’s a healthy mindset, mind you). He wants to have full control over the way people see him and he gets super frustrated and humiliated when he can’t. This is probably why he gets so upset when people talk about how unpopular he is, because he’s spent so much time honing his image to a T and is like why the fuck isn’t this working?! In other words even though sometimes he is just an actual pain in the neck a lot of his asshole antics are part of a carefully manufactured persona, and he will do anything down to labeling his own memories to prevent other people from seeing through his facade and discovering the parts of him that are vulnerable.

And God forbid anyone does figure out that he does care quite a bit for the people around him, or at least if he didn’t at first he does now. Early on in the series he was commonly referred to as “depressing” and while the meta reason is probably just the anime writers just didn’t know how to adapt the character yet (he started out a little differently in the manga), in canon I believe he was just even more inclined to push everybody away from him, and as he began to get used to working in a group he gradually opened up. He commentates on how “soft” he’s gotten since he came to Earth a couple times, and the fact that he’s surprisingly one of the most loyal to Keroro out of the whole team (in many episodes where everyone abandons Keroro for being dumb he leaves last) and goes out of his way to help when he thinks it’s warranted (he asks for money when things aren’t dire yeah but hey labor deserves compensation :V) shows that he is dedicated to his team. There’s even episodes where he doles out some kind of moral lesson to the squad in his own Kururu-y way, especially to Keroro and Tamama. Even the Hinatas he’ll pitch in to protect when he has to, and we all know he’ll pretty much drop everything if Saburo needs him.

Speaking of which. I think the unspoken reason why he’s best friends with Saburo (besides the surface-level stuff like they’re smart and nerdy and seen as enigmas by everybody else) is because Saburo is the only other person in the cast who understands Kururu’s particular struggle of putting on airs as a means of self-defense all the time. He basically has a carefully managed celebrity life (that he has to constantly work to hide in anime canon), a somewhat formal/reserved public life, and the more quirky enthusiastic side of himself he only shows when alone and to the few people he’s close to and god damn that just sounds like the most exhausting juggling act ever. He has an outlet to free himself through his art but he still has to live with nobody quite knowing what he goes through on a daily basis, which is probably why we see him off on his own for most of the series (until he gets to warm up to everybody better...wonder who that sounds like) and occasionally have his bouts of frustration and insecurity like in 229 where he says “fuck it I’m gonna fight the apocalypse alone because I need something to do,” 354(? I think that’s the number) where he talks about just dropping everything and starting over, and I think one of the Christmas eps where Giroro has to like beg him to go to the Hinatas’ party cuz he says he’s “busy” even though he’s just sitting around pretty much (UPDATE: it’s 294 the implication is probably that he has his show or something but cmon that’s only like an hour lol). I am going off on a tangent now but anyway the point is he and Kururu are the most complicated communicators of the cast and they share feelings only they understand which is why they can more or less read each other’s minds and know exactly what to do when the other is in trouble.

Back to Kururu. Keroro, from what I can tell, is the closest to him out of the Platoon; Keroro gets freaked out by Kururu’s pranks sometimes yeah but they have a lot of common interests as the fun-lovers of the group and Kururu’s also kinda been interested in Keroro enough time follow him around for almost his entire life up to this point so there’s that. He also gets along with the other people he‘s around; we know he and Aki get along from the beginning because of how dynamic their personalities are but later on he gets close to Fuyuki to the point where they just hang out for the heck of it sometimes, and even though Natsumi is very justified in generally disliking him (many of Kururu’s more Eugh moments tend to involve her) even she seems to rely on him often, and in the cursed puppy episode she knows all his favorite foods by heart so she must care in some fashion lol. Dororo and he aren’t evidently super close but I think they get each other on some level as the (in-universe) least popular of the platoon and Dororo at least respects his abilities, and has clearly come to figure out his subtleties based on 229. Giroro and Mois...things get complicated. Just putting on record that I’m not a fan of either ship between Kururu and them. I’ve said this before but I think Giroro and Kururu are in a turbulent sibling-adjacent relationship in that they have completely opposing attitudes but they have a begrudging sense of respect for each other and, ultimately, they’re teammates, so they’ll defend each other when someone they don’t know tries to mess with them. I really don’t think the flirty stuff on Kururu’s end goes beyond teasing and I got kinda sick of that running gag if I’m being honest. (You can probably tell which frog I ship Kururu with by now :P) Mois went from something of a rival to Kururu to his lab partner, which is probably why he goes easier on her than he used to and even strikes up something of a friendship because the only other person he knows that might be capable of handling his technology is an Earthling who’s still against the invasion despite his lax attitude so. She helps :V

Now the question is why Kururu acts like he does if his relationships really aren’t all that bad and I think there’s two components to this. I’ve made it clear by now I think he’s autistic but your mileage may vary there. I think personally his childhood did something to the way he processes things as well. In Secret of the Kero Ball, he’s got a bandage on his head which may imply he got hurt somewhere and then he almost drowned which canonically definitely did something to him lol, was mostly seen alone so who knows if he has a family he still talks to, and then he got drafted into the army and placed into a high-ranking position of great responsibility at a very young age; it’s kind of a no-brainer why he rebeled and got demoted eventually. I’ve got plenty of headcanons about what his early days in the Military did to him but that’s for another day because good God this post went on too long.

In short: Kururu is possibly the most complicated character in the show and the F in Flanderization stands for “Funimation.” That’s it I’m never writing another essay about pee-color frog again I will make real content again at some point I promise

#keroro gunso #sgt frog #kururu #kululu #long post #i sure spent 2 hours on this #imo kururu is a more compelling tsundere than giroro there I said it

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furrycowboypeach · 3 years

Text

car insurance : 10 questions with answers

Dear reader, we are honored to visit

our site

and hope to find everything you need in this article.

1.How does classic car insurance differ from conventional car insurance ?Classic car insurance will give you what the car is actually worth and or what you feel the car is worth. Conventional insurance will not. Let’s say you have a beautiful 1965 split window corvette. Maybe it’s worth a $100,000. Collection insurance will want photos of the car and maybe an inspection of the vehicle. Once they agree on the value your good to go. However there are rules, like limited miles you can drive, garage kept, they can be very picky. Regular insurance last I heard will give you blue book value. Do the research. There are some very good collection companies around.

Insurance companies and having fun with this.

The UK MOT test now has public information data about current and historical mileage.

Thus now we can see/prove/audit that there are many tens of thousands of old cherished cars - that literally do not move for years on end. (Less than 500 miles every 5 years).

Big data analysis will show clearly to insurance companies which classic cars are massively profitable to insure.

A mainstream loved semi-classic car has a market value of £4,000 or less. (eg. 18 year old Mercedes convertible) driven by a busy,, employed, 50 year old with 2+ cars

On fully comprehensive insurance - the risk held by the insurance company is £3.5K for total write off of the car and any 3rd party claims (on a vehicle that hardly moves). The risk to the policy owner is loss of 4 years no claims bonus and a 10+ year claim free profile.

Big data will show to the insurance companies that these are very profitable policies

2.Does the wrong address invalidate car insurance ?

That depends on why it is wrong. If you move, while you should notify your insurance company, but don’t you are more likely to get cancelled because you didn’t pay your mailed bill (assuming that is the option that you selected).

But if say that you live in Miami, Florida (the most expensive place in the state to get auto insurance, and you claim that you live just outside of DeFuniak Springs, Florida and then have an accident in Miami, Florida, the insurance company could say FRAUD and VOID your policy as if it never existed. Because you had an uninsured accident, you would probably lose your driver’s license until you made the other driver whole again! Short of that, it usually wouldn’t be considered Material, and they would back bill you for premium OR give you a refund.

3.Is rental car insurance a rip-off ?

yes and no.

if you are using your insurance and crash the rental car, you can be liable for the complete cost of repairs AND lost revenue while it is being repaired. this can be full price of the rental all the time it is being repaired. this can be a ton of cash. also if you chip the windshield the rental co can charge you for a complete new windshield or repair the that one. your insurance may or may not cover any or all of this. needless to say you will have to deal with it one way or another.

if you buy the EXPENSIVE rental car insurance you are covered for all damages including all the “little scratches”

i was 21 and rented a car to go to a job interview 2 day rental. well i put almost 1600 miles on the car. when i returned the rental agent was mad i had put that many miles on an unlimited rental. so she went out and nitpicked everything …. i just watched as she pointed bugs out as dents and everything else. when we went in she disappeared a returned with a 2400.00 repair dollar bill. and demanded how i was going to pay. i just said i paid the 15.00 for the full insurance and that would cover it , she grabbed the rental agreement and read it, her face turned red. and i left….

4.Is it okay to not have car insurance for a few months ?

Probably expecting a bit of heat for this one but here goes.. lol.

I live in Spain and about 14 years ago or so I was forced under pressure to get rid of the Suzuki jeep… which looked a fair bit like this I suppose. No power steering and the uncanny ability to just spin right around on itself in slightly greasy roads….

which had the widest back tyres I think I have ever seen on a car.., anyway, it had to go, saw an ad for a Mitsubishi Shogun , a lot like this

UK plates and only came with an export certificate from UK. Seems the guy who brought it over was intending to change it over to Spanish plates but never got round to it. Swapped the Suzuki plus 3 grand and off we went. First time I had driven an automatic, was a joy and no mistake…proper built like a tank too.. awesome car.

Drove that car for almost 8 years on that export certificate, no MOT and insurance papers I made my self on the computer by copying a mates documents and changing the pertinent details. Spanish cops had at that time.. and possibly still now, no way of actually checking the veracity of insurance papers, if they looked legit, they were accepted.

I understand that in the last few years DVLA having softened a little and offer a yes or no answer to Spanish enquiries as to whether a UK registered car has a valid MOT or not… no other info is given. I assume thats data protection at work or some such. Its that yes or no that has gotten rid of a load of UK plated cars from Spanish roads, now you actually have to have one, so either you know someone who has an MOT garage and can produce one for you or you drive back to get it done, which isnt usually viable.

So ye, its ok to not have insurance for a few months or even a few years, as long as you can get away with it.

5.Can realtors write off car insurance ?

It depends on the method they choose to use to write off their car expenses. If their car is used less than 50% for business, they must use the mileage method which includes all operating expenses including insurance. If they use it more than 50% they may choose to use the actual expense method or the mileage method. If they use the actual expense method they can deduct the business % of gas, repairs, interest, insurance, depreciation, etc. Either method requires them to keep a mileage log.

6.Does my car insurance cover my friend when they borrow my car for a day?

In the UK read your certifcate of motor insurance.

If it says

“Any person driving on the policyholder’s behalf or with their permission” or WTTE then they will be covered. (There may be age limits in the schedule of insurance but these cannot appear on the certificate). (Also cover will be for pleasure use only unless the wording on the certificate specifically includes business use by your friend).

If it does not say that then, unless your friend is named on the certificate of insurance, they are not covered under your policy.

This does not necessarily mean that they are uninsured when they drive your car, since they may have an insurance policy covereing their own car with the “driving other cars” extension. “The policyholder may drive, with the owner’s permission a car not belonging to the policyholder nor hired to him under a hire-purchase agreement”. If this clause is in effect it only covers their Road Traffic Act Liability and does not cover loss or damage to the car whilst in their control. Note that it is your duty to check this. If your friend doesn’t have such cover then you are ‘aiding and abetting’ a motor offence of driving without insurance - offence code IN12 - which will substantially increase your car insurance premium - despite the FCA announcements today.

7.Can a 19-year-old afford car insurance ?

Driving a car is a privilige, not a right.

Unless you are in gainful employment and living at home, I suspect you will have to rely on the bank of mum and dad. But if you think getting insurance at 19 is hard - imagine trying to get it at 17 and 18.

Many teenagers go with a company that assesses the premium based on information sent to them by a ‘black box’ added to the car. People who drive sensibly and only durting the day pay a lot less than those who drive recklessley and at night - even if the latter have no accidents.

The first year is by far the worst. If you go claim free for a year then no only will you be 20 rather than 19 - but you will have one years no claims discount - which will knock about a third off your premium.

(Oh and don’t try and pretend the car you drive is owned and registered with your parents and that your mother is the main user. Insurance companies are not stupid. People who own a vehicle one or two years old don’t normally decide to buy a second vehcile that is 10 years old for their own use.)

8.What are the worst car insurance companies in America ?

As others have alluded to, the whole insurance cabal and racket is on par with a level or two less integrity than the drug cartels run in Mexico and South America.

Still, some insurance companies make an effort to comply with law and regulation, while others just have a standard operating procedure to act like bad-faith criminals.

One company stands out as the worst of the worst:

Bristol West

If you bought insurance from these scoundrel's, do yourself a favor, and immediately change. But don’t change early, or you’ll pay outrageous cancellation.

If you get hit by someone with this insurance, put in your claim with your own insurance, or you’ll just be wasting your own time.

9.How much do I need to pay for car insurance ?

Without knowing where in the world that you live, nor your age, sex marital status, other drivers in your household, driving records, and car or cars you trying to insure.

You can't save time or money by asking an ambiguous non informational question here. You will have to do it the old fashioned way, calling around to agents or companies. You can also go online to the companies and agents but NOT TO THOSE SITES THAT PROMISE TO TELL YOU THAT THEY'LL TELL YOU EVERY COMPANY'S RATES. That is a LIE plus you are putting yourself at risk for identity theft, and here are the reasons:

None of these sites has ALL of the companies. They only show those companies paying them to be there.

Even if they show an Allstate, a Progressive and/or Geico, these companies all have multiple rating levels for different types of drivers from preferred for the very best risks down to theworst risks out there. Those kinds companies might only have one or two of their rating levels on each of these sites, so if you don't qualify for those that rating tiers you won't be given a rate from those companies. Likewise if the company that truly is cheapest for you didn't pay for that website to show their rates, you won't see them.

They will sell your personal information to multiple agents and/or companies. This means that you will be bombarded by people trying to sell you auto insurance.

And since they don't check that the person indeed buying the leads are insurance agents all of your personal information could end up in the hands of identity thieves.

NOTE: IDENTITY THEFT DOES NOT HAPPEN FROM INSURANCE COMPANY OR AGENT'S WEBSITES!

10.What do

sports

car

lovers need to know about car insurance ?

Find out how buying a sports car impacts on your car insurance, from cost to cover. There’s nothing specific you need to look for in an insurance policy on a sports car, per se, but it’s always a good idea to read the policy wording in advance if you have anything specific you want covered.

Some of us love football. Some of us love cricket. And some of us love motorsport. The sports we like are part of our identity, and if you’re a motorsport fan you might want to express that through your choice of car.

We’ve put together this short guide to help you better understand the implications of owning a sports car from an insurance point of view.

Find out how buying a sports car impacts on your car insurance, from cost to cover.

What to look for in an insurance policy on a sports car

There’s nothing specific you need to look for in an insurance policy on a sports car, per se, but it’s always a good idea to read the policy wording in advance if you have anything specific you want covered.

For instance, you might want to be sure you’re covered against vandalism or other such malicious damage to the tyres, paintwork or (on a cabriolet) the fabric roof.

Even if you’ve found a policy that covers every scenario you can imagine, you must fully disclose all details of the car to avoid having an insurance claim refused. This includes any optional extras or other modifications that have been made by you or a previous owner.

What qualifies as a sports car ?

For the purposes of insurance underwriting, Admiral defines sports cars as cars designed as performance vehicles ‘from the get-go’: things like coupes, roadsters and GTs.

Having said that, your car may be considered a sports car even if it doesn’t fall into one of these categories.

Car manufacturers recognised years ago the demand for high-performance cars which were practical and spacious enough for the real world – cars for people with children and hobbies, essentially.

Traditional sports cars are designed to be lightweight, compact and aerodynamic, but this usually means a cramped interior and little or no luggage space.

So, over the years, and with changing attitudes towards what ‘sporty’ means, we’ve seen the arrival of the hot hatchback (as defined by the iconic VW Golf GTI), the sports saloon (think BMW M5) and, more recently, the performance SUV (such as the Porsche Cayenne).

Why is insurance on sports cars more expensive ?

Every new car is placed into an insurance group based on the risk associated with it, and risk is calculated using statistics about past claims on similar cars. Risk takes into account both how likely you are to make a claim, and how much it could cost to put right if you do.

When it comes to sports cars, the first (and perhaps most obvious) thing insurers look at is their performance. Many sports cars are fitted with engines that provide rapid acceleration and high top speeds.

And they’re engineered to mimic the driving characteristics of racing cars, with responsive handling and potent brakes – all designed to help you carry as much speed into, through, and out of corners as possible. All of which increases your likelihood of being involved in an accident.

They are also, often, more expensive to repair or replace, because of their high sale prices or because parts are more specialised. And they may present a more irresistible temptation to thieves, making a theft claim more likely.

What are the cheapest sports cars to insure ?

We've compiled a list of the 10 sports cars with the cheapest average premium between January and March 2021.

Of course, the car itself is only one of the factors used in calculating premiums, so the characteristics of the average owner of these cars (including age, driving history and No Claims Bonus) could explain why the premiums are so affordable.

The models listed combine cars of all ages and values, including both hard-top and roadster equivalents sharing the same name.

Porsche Boxster - £404.04

BMW Z4 - £437.52

Polestar 2 - £446.07

Mazda MX-5 - £451.80

Porsche Cayman - £488.42

Porsche 911 - £509.19

Porsche Macan - £518.03

Nissan GT-R - £582.02

Toyota MR2 - £586.39

Ford Mustang - £586.77

After you've finished reading, we hope you've benefited. And we invite you to comment in your opinion. And we're happy with that, and we love reading it.

#home #car #book blog #insurance

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larkfox · 3 years

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june 25, 2016 // solo

A cute(?) little solo para meandering on Lark’s circumstances on June 25, 2016 and what came after. The scene is set at a four bedroom rental house somewhere in Birmingham, UK. Lark is twenty-two years old (a month from twenty-three) here if I haven’t completely destroyed the calendar at this point. Some mentions of Steffi Müller.

Lark went by her full name on paper. As silly as she thought her name was, it always seemed a little more professional and formal to be ‘Larkspur Fox’ rather than just Lark. She was just Lark in her personal life and in her activism, so when she received mail to Larkspur, it was either solicitations, junk or a notification of something good. Besides, Lark enjoyed reading through terrible advertisements.

Throughout her years in university (it was called Universität in Germany, which often meant a fight not to giggle to Steffi’s annoyance when they both had lived there), she had been published numerous times. She wrote about all sorts of subtopics- usually music, but her interest in history usually overlapped with that significantly. Her works had found their way into ethnomusicology student publications, history journals (although those were sometimes a pain), popular music online publications, and so much more. She kept a little folder on her desktop with archived PDFs or scans of every time she was published. It wasn’t like she was famous or anything, but her prolific writing had been enough for her application into her Masters program considered.

There was no real way for Lark to know that she would stop writing so much in just a couple of years- that everything fun about writing for its own sake would fade away in the wake of procrastination. But for today, she had a nice email in her inbox for Larkspur.

Lark turned her head up from the laptop and beamed at Amy from across the bedroom. “Got another essay accepted for publication. I’m going to have to celebrate by doing some more reviews.”

Amy responded by glancing up from her seat, and giving an exaggerated thumbs up and grin. “Of course you did! I think you’re on a roll.”

Amy was Lark’s housemate and first-ever girlfriend. They had met last year after conspiring on Facebook with two other (then-prospective) students in their postgrad program to live in this very house. The others had moved out after the year was out, but Amy and Lark had both stuck around Birmingham with new housemates to help with the rent. It had taken this long of song and dance for a relationship to come out of this, but Lark was still overjoyed even after over a month together. Not much had changed, really. They still hung out when Amy wasn’t running music outreach programs and Lark wasn’t writing or copyediting up a storm. Now their sleepovers in each other’s rooms were on purpose instead of because someone was too tired to leave after gushing about Sarah McLachlan until four AM.

When Lark was in universität (such a funny word), Lark had harbored an odd sort of crush on her friend Steffi. She’d admitted as much in an awkward, roundabout way, but it had always straddled the line bordering intense feelings of friendship. Now and again by fate or coincidence, Lark bumped into Steffi, but their lives weren’t terribly intertwined at the moment. She didn’t think about Steffi very much nowadays, actually. Lark could definitively say that her feelings for Amy were very different but certainly very extreme.

“I hope so. Hey, do you want to, you know, cuddle or something in a little while?” Lark bit down on her lip, reminding herself that she did not need to be so self-conscious. It was something that she had been working on implementing in herself over the last few years- not caring so much about what others thought of her. It was easier and more satisfying than the alternative (caring about opinions that didn’t matter), but Amy didn’t make that easy. If Amy asked her to hang out, Lark might rearrange her schedule just to make it happen.

With a smile that made Lark feel like the rest of the world wasn’t there, Amy nodded in response, and started to fold up her laptop. “Now’s good with me if it is for you.”

Lark shut her laptop immediately, and slid it under the bed. “Yes. Yes, please. That would be so good with me.”

“You’re so cute.” Amy laughed at her, but Lark didn’t really care because today was a good day. It had been a good couple of weeks, actually, and it being Saturday meant that they both had the day off. Well, Amy officially had the day off. Lark just didn’t do any freelance gigs on Saturday as a personal principle. They both snuggled up under Lark’s immense pile of blankets, and everything felt good.

Amy ran her hand through Lark’s hair, which was her (mostly) natural brunette. Lark had been coloring her hair on and off since her teens, but had dyed it back to dark earlier in 2015. It as reductive to say that brown was her happy hair color, but she did feel the whim to go back to it when she was in a more serene place with herself.

Fidgeting with Amy’s other hand, Lark mumbled, “This might sound out of nowhere, but thanks for saying something. About liking me. I feel less like a complete mess now that we’re together after liking you for ages.”

“You’re fine, babe, I promise.” It was only okay when Amy called her ‘babe’, and only occasionally. In private. “I thought I was being pretty obvious with the hints, but you were serious when you said you didn’t have a lot of experience.”

“Ah, yep. Virginity is a social construct, but there are a whole lot of twenty-two year old virgin jokes that I can still get some mileage out of,” Lark said, laughing nervously.

“You’re not, uh, trying to hint at...”

Lark shook her head, and buried her face in Amy’s neck. Muffled, she stammered out, “Sorry. Sorry, I mean- I’d like to soon, but not today. I want to- Close. Today I want to be close to you, Amy.” For someone so outspoken, sometimes Lark felt like she couldn’t speak at all when it came to her girlfriend. “I love you.” It was the first time that she had said that out loud to someone else with quite that connotation, and she had to remind herself that it was going to be okay.

She was filled with so many warm feelings when Amy responded by kissing her soundly. Later, Lark would note that Amy didn’t quite say the words back.

Lark didn’t have any real way of knowing on June 25th that this relationship wasn’t going to last- that Amy would tell her that they were probably better as just friends (seriously?!?) a few days after they slept together for the second time (oh, you know, just a few days after her twenty-third birthday). On June 25th, she was at the very least aware that the lease on the house would be up for renewal soon. However, she did not know on that day that she would not renew her part of the lease.

She did not know that she would move to Icaria in the very near future without a plan. That... she would bump into Steffi again, which was the world’s weirdest coincidence. That she’d make more than three friends (this was huge progress). That she would genuinely grow to stop caring so much about what others thought of her.

And she had no idea that she would go back to blonde after moving. It didn’t really matter where she worked, after all as a freelancer. Lark couldn’t have predicted that she would find herself without direction, and launch herself into a PhD program that would basically kill all of her drive to write anything else scholarly unrelated to her activism.

#//i was thinking of listing out headcanons #but i decided to embed them in this instead for the full show don't tell experience #solo para #i don't like Love this but i'm proud of a few parts so i'm gonna just post

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malgal7777 · 3 years

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Hiking with Tracy 2021: Week 2 - 1/10 thru 1/17 training.

Week 2 down and what a week it was! Started out fairly mellow. The hikes within the first weekend included two very familiar local beauties: Point Pinole and Sibley Volcanic Regional Park. These two are my personal favorite stomping grounds. Hiking the perimeter of Point Pinole is always a pleasure. A easy 3 mile perimeter walk with views across the water of Marin to start and Vallejo/Martinez to end. Gorgeous moss covered trees within the peninsula and plenty of bird wildlife to adore as you walk. So serene and calming. It is my happy place. Sibley is a bit rockier and tons of inclines to keep you sweating. The mileage here is up to you. You can do a 1 mile loop or switch back on trails and do 8 miles! I used to just do the Loop top, not aware that a whole expanse of land lay right in front of me. I just had to go through the cattle gate (at the time, I didn’t realize you were allowed past those gates). And it was like walking into Xanadu! It had just rained (I LOVE hiking in the California rain) so the rolling hills were nothing but lush greenery. I honestly remember my gasp of astonishment. An acknowledgment of what I had been missing!

Both of these parks are also off-leash dog parks. So bring your best friend(s), I always do. My dogs are definitely off-leashers. They get hives when I try to put their collars on. They’re quite a team, not much into other dogs, they like to explore, dig and run, run, run!!

But, the most notable thing about these hikes this week is I wasn’t alone. I had company! My West Coast “G” accompanied me at Point Pinole and Ms. Lisa V joined me at Sibley. Can I just say that when you’re among good company time does fly. I couldn’t believe how fast we marched through these parks. I guess I’m usually daydreaming about the beautiful skies and what I’m going to do with all that money when I win the Powerball...hmmm. Sorry, I digressed! It’s a great way to catch up with friends. The fresh air definitely allows a person to open up and talk. Which I feel is a very cathartic release (am I using that word correctly?). It’s been a pretty stressful year for EVERYONE. There’s not one person on this planet who hasn't been affected by the pandemic one way or another. Fresh air is the great reliever. So, if you’re feeling the stress, just walk out your door and BREATHE!!

The week itself, I am proud to say, was filled with a couple of victories! I introduced running back into my routine to help with building endurance. The goal was to run for 30 minutes straight without stopping. So, I slapped on some headphones and ran around a 4 block radius in the neighborhood, doing a big loop. Now, between you & me, I think I walk/hike faster than I actually “run”. I’m pretty slow. I actually think I saw an old woman pass me while taking her dog for their morning walk. AND the first two times I did not make the 30 minutes. First time, 17 minutes, tops - and I stopped not once, but a few times in between. But, I was determined so I got back out there and the second time, 25 minutes - and I stopped not once, but a few times. But they are not kidding when they say “Third time’s a charm!” because on my third outing, I DID IT! 30 minutes, continually running. AND I got 5,000 steps before 8am! Which lead to my other victory, which was I made over (sometimes way over) 10,000 steps 6 out of 7 days!! I was very proud of myself.

So, the second weekend hikes were NOT so mellow. I think I may have killed my family. We were going to check out the Palo Alto park that just opened to the general public in December, Foothills Park. I guess the rich people have been keeping the riff-raff out for decades. The ACLU sued and prevailed and now hordes of the middle class are stretching their legs on hollowed wealthy ground!! From reports I’ve been reading, it’s quite nice. But, we’re going to wait on that one. Everyone is heading there, so they close the gates early and there’s nothing worse than hiking with too many people on the trail anyway. Pretty much what you’re trying to get away from. But note rich folks of Palo Alto...the Alberts will be back! (maniacal laugh; maniacal laugh)!!

So we headed to the East side of the bay to Sunol Regional Wilderness. WOW! Fantastic. I’ve been here before. It’s the regional park with a couple of really cool rock formations: Cave Rock and Little Yosemite. Don’t get too excited when you read “Little Yosemite”. If Yosemite was your whole body, Little Yosemite in Sunol Regional Wilderness is your pinky fingernail. Not to say it’s not beautiful, because it is, it’s just “Little Yosemite” is a bit misleading. That’s just one person’s view, you do not have to agree with it. Also, when we arrived, there was a East Bay Hiking Challenge happening in the regional parks so the parking lot was PACKED!! Luckily we found a spot pretty quickly but now there were tons of people around and they were all heading towards, yup you guessed it, Little Yosemite. So the Alberts headed onto another trail near the car and what a delight! No people. Beautiful trail along the Alameda creek and spectacular views. I wanted to do the full loop but we got ourselves into quite an incline that just WOULD NOT STOP. Up, up, up...That’s when the Alberts broke down and the mutiny began. Do we continue? The trail down has got to be within the next turn. I wanted to continue, but my poor family was done. Even the dogs were done. We had to start carrying 13 year old Stella, our chihuahua. I think she actually fell asleep in our arms! They of course, were right. No need to kill ourselves and the dogs and by the time we got back to the car we had done 5.5 miles up a very steep incline. So it was a success.

On Sunday, I was on a reconnaissance mission for one of my April routes, the Bay Trail that runs from Emeryville to Richmond. My goal in April is to go all the way to Richmond and back. Sunday, I made it to the Albany bulb and back, which was a total of 10 miles!! Let’s just say, my dogs are barking! I started the trail with my bestie Sarah and her dog Tyson. It was an absolutely gorgeous day to be walking along the water with friends. Sarah & Tyson got their steps in and then left me to get my walk on. Since the sounds of traffic aren’t exactly rewarding, I put on my headphones and the dulcet tones of Malcolm Gladwell’s podcast Revitionist History filled my mind with tons of “what ifs...”. By the end of the walk I was grooving to the Dr. John Pandora station and Professor Longhair was urging me to “get my Red Beans cooking”.

It’s going to be hard to beat this week. But, I aim to please so stay tuned for me to get my “Red Beans cooking”!

Remember if you can, please support Oakland Public schools by sponsoring me at: https://runsignup.com/tracyalbert

Better yet, register yourself and create your own personal goal at Ride 4 Reason: https://rideforareason.weebly.com

#hikingwithtracy2021

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deltaengineering · 5 years

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Fall Anime 2019 Part 4: also, he has a gun for a head

Beastars

So here’s the CG anime that everyone for some reason decided way in advance would be the best show of the season, more or less by default. I was very skeptical of this for a multitude of reasons. First of all, that is a bad name for a show and you can’t convince me otherwise. It’s actually even worse because you’re supposed to write it in all caps, but I refuse. Second, it has a terribly on the nose conceit in which all sorts of animals live together in a high school setting and it’s all metaphorical ‘n shit. The main character is a wolf but get this, he’s actually all sensitive and quiet! Yeah, this is definitely rated D for Deep. And finally it’s by Orange, the CG studio that got an inordinate amount of acclaim for making Houseki no Kuni, the show that everyone thinks looks great and finally made CG anime worthwhile (actual real fact: HnK does not look great most of the time and CG anime was worthwhile well before it).

But enough about my preconceptions since Beastars is... pretty good, actually. If you ignore the setting, which is indeed terribly on the nose. And there’s not much else to say about the story so far besides it. However, it looks significantly better than Houseki no Kuni because it actually has really good character animation throughout instead of a one-minute action scene with flashy spinny camera tricks every other episode. The directing’s strong too, even if the show conspicuously mainly consists of obvious manga panels. I’m still not too hot on the animal stuff but the general writing seems to be sufficiently competent it would work simply on a character level. So I don’t love it, but it seems solid enough to see if it goes somewhere with its “Zootopia but also Beverly Hills 90210 but also they eat each other sometimes″ plot.

Rifle is Beautiful

Remember the whole “anime about some assorted anime girls joining a club doing an oddly specific activity” thing? This is another one of those, and now it’s about air rifle sports shooting. Except it’s not about air rifle sports shooting because that’s apparently way too violent, so they use rifles that look like exactly like air rifles but are actually based on lasers or really bright flashlights (they can’t keep their bullshit straight between scenes, sorry) instead. I just don’t think “girls doing activities” anime should blatantly misrepresent their subject matter like that, you know? With the possible exception of idol anime that is, ain’t nobody who wants to hear about that shit. Apart from that it’s nothing special, so if you are really into air rifles and wish to watch an anime that’s not about those, knock yourself out. It goes through a whole “club needs 5 members” arc in the first half of the first episode, so I really can’t say where it goes next. Nowhere much, I would guess.

Oh right, there’s one more thing: They frequently render the bodies in CG and the heads in traditional drawings, and they do it every time when they’d actually have to draw a rifle otherwise. It’s a weird effect that I think I haven’t seen anywhere else before, and it’s not great but also not terrible. And it’s the most interesting thing about the entire show.

Kabukicho Sherlock

“Let’s take a bunch of public domain characters and put them into a hip modern setting” seems to be its own genre at the moment, and not only because the BBC did that with S. Holmes, Esq. already. Obviously this show is influenced by that (besides other public domain namedroppers like Bungou Stray Dogs), mostly in Watson and his relationship with Sherlock, but Sherlock-san is rather different here; he’s neither the classic Victorian bohemian nor the abrasive sociopath of the BBC version, and tends more towards a bumbling 90s pop culture version of autism and/or general wackiness here. These two are surrounded by a bunch of campy transvestites for some reason, and I’m not quite sure whether I’m supposed to find this particular stereotype offensive or empowering this week, but it sure is annoying. And it has the same character designer as Joker Game, so if you like chiseled, angular anime men, you’re in for a treat here - even if they tend to wear a lot of makeup and dresses sometimes. I don’t know man, it seems sort of okay-ish for the most part but it’s neither as funny as they think, nor as weird as they think, nor is the murder of the week intriguing at all. Oh yeah, he’s hunting noted public domain character Jack the Ripper. Because of course he is.

Shin Chuuka Ichiban!

I am told this is the sequel to episode 19 of a 52-episode anime TV show from 1997. Okay. I am also told to not dare watch this without the important setup therein, which makes me think I should pay less attention to what I’m told because understanding Shin Chuuka Ichiban and its backstory is not hard at all. Kid is superawesome cooking champion in ancient China and goes around clowning on lesser cooks, got it. It’s not a complicated setup and it’s not a complicated genre either: This seems to be mostly about sick shounen cooking duels. Besides the setting, the main difference between this and Shokugeki no Soma seems to be that SnS goes for ridiculous and Chuuka Ichiban goes for epic - which is to say that it fancies itself emotional as well. Apart from that it’s what you’d expect from a cooking shounen, big moves, big reactions, huge twists and so on. One notable thing is that this show looks really, really nice. Production I.G seems to be establishing a sideline in taking stuff from the 90s and updating it with smoother animation and shinier lighting, while keeping the overall look intact; They did it for Mahoujin Guru Guru, and this looks much the same. Still, I’m just fundamentally not really interested in what appears to be a very straightforward cooking shounen from the 90s.

Assassins Pride

Straight from the Department of Chuuni, we have this light novel masterpiece about a cool as fuck teenage assassin who teleports behind u and nothin personells fools all day. He then meets a princess he’s supposed to off but just kinda decides not to, probably because she seems to be smitten by his m’lady act. Now he has to use his sick skillz to keep them both alive. It’s awful and terrible and no good and also kind of adorable. This truly is the most 13 AND A HALF MOM years old anime in a while, and it’s not even isekai! The writing’s just so amateurish and corny you can’t help but smile when princesses exposit their backstory for no reason while being accosted by pumpkin monsters (without knowing that Awessassin McCooldude happens to be listening in, which is certainly convenient). Or when the episode ends with the man just reading the synopsis of the show out again, in case you were too fascinated by this plot to pay attention to what it’s about. Yeah I’m not going to watch this in a thousand years, but it sure made me chuckle. Your mileage may vary.

Mugen no Juunin - Immortal

Speaking of 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔢𝔡𝔤𝔢, another anime adaptation of Blade of the Immortal appeared! You know, the manga for the cultured and historically minded guro fan. The first episode of Blade of the Immortal runs with this and is an arthouse production that someone most definitely directed the shit out of. I don’t think I’ve seen this much directing since, well, Sarazanmai, but “Ikuhara amounts of directing” is pretty much the idea here. And most of the time it even works! The quickly edited, disorienting style gives episode 1 a feeling closer to horror than to a cool swordmen action show, and that really brings out the best in the material, which is grotesque splatter bordering on the comical - It’s somehow a better Junji Ito anime than the actual Junji Ito anime. I think it tries too hard in a few places, but at least it does try.

But then I watched the second episode and that one’s a fairly conventional splatter-comedy swordin’ anime. I am not at all pleased with this development. The third episode was better again and seemed to split the difference between 1 and 2, even if it mostly uses the tricky editing to save on effort in the action – I would much prefer actually readable fights and the wacky mannerisms in the more psychological stuff, thank you very much. Based on episode 1 I thought we might have something special here, but as of episode 3 I’d already merely call it pretty decent. I guess I’ll still stick with it but man, that’s a real bummer.

No Guns Life

No Guns Life is a neo-noir thriller about a guy who has a gun for a head. That’s fuckin rad and exactly the kind of silliness I am totally down for. He also has a gun for a hand, and there’s also some battle nun’s who carry revolvers with two cylinders, so in short I think the title is false advertising. This sounds very wacky (and it is), but it also takes its noir very seriously, down to details more wannabe neo-noirs tend to neglect (like being set right after a big war). The look and feel is pretty excellent, with sharp design and high-contrast artwork, and the music goes all in on the moody saxophone as you’d expect. And there’s some really adorable “look mom, I’m writing” stuff about how Man With Gun For A Head really “needs someone to pull his trigger” and so on (which is, as the astute reader might remember, at the back of his head). It feels like a throwback but then I can’t really think of many 80s/90s shows like this, so it’s actually more like the sort of faux-retro idea Trigger/Imaishi would come up with on a lark. Trigger/Imaishi would, of course, make a far worse anime out of it, so it’s all good. Well, it has some pacing problems and as always it’s a fine line between amusingly camp and not so amusingly camp anymore, but No Guns Life seems to have enough real qualities that it can probably stand on its own even when its conceptual gimmick eventually doesn’t suffice anymore. I give it a two gun’s up.

Hoshiai no Sora / Stars Align

And finally, here’s an anime about middle schooler softboys playing a tennis just as soft as themselves, while being henpecked by the elites on the girl’s team. This is not an “actual” sports anime though: for starters, it’s not based on some shounen manga and is an anime original with quite some staff pedigree instead. It’s also more of a character drama that already goes to some surprisingly real places by the end of episode 1, reminiscent of the recent and quite good Run with the Wind. Furthermore, it looks delicious, with minimalist but distinctive and varied character designs and animation that’s both extremely detailed for a TV anime and also not trying to shove that fact into your face with flashy stunt cuts. In short, this show seems very simple at first glance but every aspect of it just oozes quality. If nothing else, it’s already worth watching just for the excellent ending sequence where the characters show off their “best” dance moves and the chunky student council president dunks on everyone. This one caught me by surprise and it’s an easy pick for most promising show of the season.

#anime #impressions #Beastars #Rifle is Beautiful #Kabukicho Sherlock #Shin Chuuka Ichiban!#Assassins Pride #Mugen no Juunin - Immortal #No Guns Life #Hoshiai no Sora #stars align

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keelywolfe · 5 years

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FIC: The Elephant in the Room ch.2 (baon)

Summary: Jeff has started working at the Embassy. He’s got a new job, a new car, and a new place to live. Now if only the rest of his life could fall into order, that’d be great. Any time now…any time at all…

Tags: Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Prejudice Against Monsters, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Past Suicidal Thoughts, Mental Health Issues, Friendship

Notes: Stretch quitting smoking? Going swell. Jeff quitting the bookstore? Super duper. Red is a creeper? Well, everyone knows that! Except Jeff, it seems, but hey, he can be taught!

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

~~*~~

Read it on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

There wasn’t much parking downtown at that time of day, the best spots taken by day workers and college students. Jeff was forced to park on the street a couple blocks from the bookstore. It wasn’t much further than they would have gone from the bus stop and Stretch didn’t offer any complaint.

He did hop out of the car the moment it was in park, before Jeff even had a chance to turn it off. Jeff only shrugged mentally and gathered up his keys and bag. At least he didn’t shortcut out, the sound of it could be painfully loud in an enclosed space.

When he got out, he saw that Stretch hadn’t run ahead. Instead, he was lingering on the sidewalk with a vape pen in hand, already exhaling a cloud of vapor. From his scrunched expression, it wasn’t as satisfying as a cigarette.

“Not so good, huh?” Jeff asked with amused sympathy.

Stretch grimaced. “it’s not the same. you’d think i’d like the tasty flavors and you’d be wrong. i wasn’t smoking ciggies because i so enjoy the tanginess of chemicals and tar.” He grinned then and nudged Jeff with a sharp elbow. “but it’s better for the baby, am i right?“

Jeff groaned, but he snickered helplessly, ”I said I was sorry.”

“oh, you did,” Stretch agreed. He started down the sidewalk and Jeff fell into step beside him, “but i’ve still got a little mileage left on that joke before i run it into the ground.”

From the way he was determinedly using the little vape, Jeff got the idea that the whole quitting thing might not be going so well. He didn’t put it away until they got to the store, tucking into his hoodie pocket as he held the door open for Jeff. The bell jangled above the door as they walked in and an unfamiliar face looked up at them from behind the counter. “Good after…noon.”

The faint hiccough in his speech was barely noticeable, as was the way his smile faltered. Stretch certainly didn’t seem to notice on his beeline directly to the recently acquired shelf.

“Hi,” Jeff said, just this side of too loud. The guy jerked and turned back to him. “Is Thomas in?”

Before he could gather himself enough for a reply, a full head of salt and pepper hair poked out from the office, followed by the rest of his former boss. “Jeffery, my boy! And Stretch, schön dich zu sehen! What brings you, you have a new order to place?”

“nah, i’m just here with the troublemaker today,” Stretch grinned and jerked his head in Jeff’s direction. “don’t worry, though, i’m working on a new list. you’ll be sherlock holmsing around for me in no time.”

“Ah, but I also have a new detective!” He stepped around the counter and gave the young man a firm clap on the shoulder. “This is Steven, it is his second day.”

“Hi, again,” Steven said obediently. It sounded friendly enough but Jeff didn’t miss the way he kept glancing away from Stretch, who nodded a greeting before going back to perusing the shelves.

Thomas didn’t notice, only came back around and transferred that firm grip to Jeff, leading him away like a lost sheep. “Come now, Jeffery, we can go over the last orders you were working on in my office.”

“Sure,“ Jeff murmured. But he left the door open and stood in a way he could watch the main room.

Every glance out made him worry a little more. Not about Stretch, he was only poking through the books, setting a few off to the side in a neat pile. He never even glanced at Steven, much less bothered him. But the guy was watching him like a mall security guard, not even pretending to be doing anything else.

There was something about that look, the visible discomfort in it, that had Jeff frowning mentally. Monsters had been aboveground for several years now, long enough that anyone who lived in Ebott should’ve bumped into one at least every few days around town. Considering how young this guy was, he should’ve been on campus a few times or in the local coffee shops. No one should be that freaked about seeing a Monster, no one with manners, anyway.

Especially seeing Stretch, who was easily one of the most recognizable, only below Asgore and the diplomat group when it came to fame. Plus, the skeleton Monsters tended to look more Human than some of the other species out there. They wore clothes and shoes, and when Stretch had his hood up, he could easily be mistaken for human from behind.

Besides, his sweatshirt had a dinosaur with Mickey Mouse ears on it and a speech bubble that said ‘wrong park’, for crying out loud. How was that remotely threatening?

Next to him, Thomas was two finger typing his way through the list of orders that Jeff had been working on, humming beneath his breath. “Thomas,” Jeff said, low. “Yes, my boy?” When Jeff nodded towards the front counter, Thomas stood and leaned over the desk to see. He frowned, his eyes narrowing, as they both watched Stretch walk over to another shelf of books. Steven moved as he did, unsubtly shifting over to the far side of the counter, his eyes never leaving Stretch as he backed away. “Bah,” Thomas muttered irritably. “That one, he’s not going to be staying.”

Jeff nodded. Definitely for the best. Even if someone unfairly thought Stretch was scary, he was hardly the only Monster who came in hankering for books. Moms brought in their kids all the time, elderly Monsters searched for books they remembered from the Underground. The cheery sticker on the front door inviting Monsters in would tell anybody that much, before they took a single step inside much less submitted a resume. Why the hell would someone who was so visibly uncomfortable around Monsters want to work someplace that was blatantly Monster-friendly?

Jeff didn’t really care for any of the reasons his brain was offering him and suddenly, he didn’t really want to leave Stretch out there alone with a guy who was eying him the same way he would a serial killer. “Would you mind if I came back this weekend to go over this?” Jeff asked softly.

“Not at all. Come, let’s go out together. I think maybe I should ring up Stretch’s purchases for him.” Thomas sighed and shook his head. “Such a shame, he had a good resume. A worse shame I will have to pay him for today.”

“Send him home at lunch,” Jeff said sourly, “save some money.”

“A very good idea.”

~~*~~

They were walking back to the car, both of them with bags in hand when Stretch finally asked him, “okay, what’s the matter?”

“Why do you think anything is the matter?” Jeff asked lightly. It wasn’t going to work, he knew that, and Stretch only tutted in exaggerated disappointment.

“because your smile fell so far its sitting on top of your shoes. so before you trip over it, what’s wrong?”

“That guy, the new guy. He seemed…” Jeff hesitated, trying to think of a way to phrase it that was better than, ‘he was a dick,’. “He seemed really Monster unfriendly.” “yeah. i noticed.” Stretch pulled out his vape and used it, exhaling a sweet-smelling cloud. It was a decent distraction but Jeff knew him too well now to miss the fleeting unhappiness that crossed his face before it was hidden beneath easy carelessness. “he didn’t say anything to me, but—“ “No, because he was too busy trying to blend into the furniture,” Jeff gritted out. He should’ve known Stretch noticed, he was weirdly observant like that. Maybe Monsters had to be when their HP was in the single digits. And to have to deal with that in one of his safe places had to be doubly upsetting. “Thomas already said he was getting rid of him, but seriously, what an asshole. He was acting like you were gonna rip his throat out with your teeth.” Stretch made a face, “nasty. i love the old monster movies but man, the creature from the black lagoon sure didn’t do us any publicity favors.” “Good movie, though.”

“yeah.” The faint melancholy that had settled over Stretch faded as he suddenly smirked. “wanna go watch it?”

“Hell, yes.”

The trip back home was a lot shorter when they didn’t have to depend on the bus, and soon enough they were settled on the sofa with snacks. But even the campy black and white classic couldn’t hold his attention, and Jeff found his thoughts picking irritably at the events of the day.

That Steven applied at Classic Books at all was rubbing him in all kinds of wrong ways. There was literally no chance anyone would miss that it was a Monster-friendly business, and even if Thomas was going to fire that prick, well…maybe he should let someone in Security know. Like Red, Jeff had a feeling this was definitely something he’d want to know about. Edge probably would too, but he and Stretch had enough to worry about lately.

Better to have it checked out first before starting any panics or holy wars or anything.

So after the movie, Jeff regretfully turned down an offer to head over to Grillby’s and instead drove down to the Embassy.

Instead of politely greeting the security guard and heading right to the elevator like he usually did, Jeff stopped and asked, “If I needed to talk to Red, where would I find him?”

The guard’s floppy ears perked high as he looked up from his sudoku book, eying Jeff warily. “You actually want to see Red?”

“Um. Yes?” Well, he had before that.

“Huh.” The guard looked at him a moment longer, doubtfully, then shook his head and picked up his pen again. “Just wander around. You don’t really find Red so much as he finds you.”

Well, that wasn’t at all ominous or terrifying. “Thank you.”

Even worse, it wasn’t really helpful. It was close to five and most of the staff was getting ready to go home for the day. The cafeteria was closed, the chairs already atop the tables, and none the departments seemed likely. It wasn’t like there were any signs pointing towards ‘creepy skeletons this way’ like a damn Target store.

Jeff was ready to surrender and almost convinced himself that he was overreacting. And yet, if he didn’t say anything and someone got hurt? Yeah, better to overreact and feel stupid, times a thousand.

An email, then? That’d be something, and Jeff made his way down to the PR sector where his office was. It was about a step above a closet, but he didn’t care, it was his, and he should be able to check the email listings from there.

The main office was already deserted, the lights dimmed. Jeff walked on to his door, trying not to feel like an intruder as he unlocked it and switched on the light. Only to nearly scream at the sight of Red sitting casually in his chair, his boots propped up on the desktop.

That grin of his was so similar to Edge’s and yet not at all, and neither was the way he ran his tongue over the jagged points. His eye lights glowing with crimson ferocity that gave lie to his tone as he said easily, “wellie, well, well, if it isn’t handy andy. heard you were looking for me. what can i do for you, sweets?”

Yeah…he was starting to think the guard had the right idea. Seemed like no sane person went looking for Red. Except now Jeff had him and so he got to deal with him.

Jeff wet his own lips nervously, wondering how the hell he was going to coax this genie back into the bottle. Somehow, he didn’t think flattery was the right option.

~~*~~

TBC

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #by any other name

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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 5 years

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Ghost-Spider #1 Thoughts

Since I enjoyed the Spider-Geddon aftermath issue of Ghost Spider and because seeing Spider-Gwen meet Earth 616 Jackal intrigued me I decided to check out the current story arc and...um...oh dear...

So confession. I dropped Spider-Gwen’s title after reading the issue that debuted Earth 65 Kraven. The moment I saw him with his stupid Hipster look I was like ‘Noooooooooooooooope’.

So consequently I missed out on such gems as Gwenom and other great ideas I’m sure were inspired by variant covers.

What I’m saying is I’m out of the loop and therefore any analysis I might be able to provide isn’t going to be that great because I’m literally lacking in information.

That all being said I also maintain what Stan the Man said once upon a time, every comic is someone’s first. That goes for issue #1s moreso than others!

So we come to this title.

Was it good.

From where I’m standing...no not really.

Okay so first of all the art is lovely, it really is. And the scene where George’s surprise party goes very wrong was really well paced out by the art, which sold the comedy very well!

As for other positives...um...the story remembered to address the fact that Gwen can’t just show up to Earth 616 and go to school there. The idea that Iron Man established a scholarship for extra terrestrial and extra terrestrial people fixes that problem...but it opens up a boatload of questions.

Is Gwen and fellow students from other dimensions like her stealing student places from people based in Earth 616?

Wouldn’t education standards vary wildly across dimensions? After all a lot of times when it comes to education it’s less how well you did as much as where you went (or sadly who you know). I mean I know people from my university, which was no slouch, who got great grades but were passed over for jobs by people with less impressive grades but from more prestigious universities. Is a grade from Oxford or Yale on Earth 616 worth as much on the job market as it is on Earth 65? It may well be that on Earth 65 (which we know has a different history to Earth 616 and isn’t necessarily a reflection of OUR real life world) ESU is regarded as a lesser school that’s easy to pass.

Wouldn’t the subject of allowing aliens and other dimensional people to attend schools on Earth 616 open up a HUGE political debate regarding immigration? Provided it was known to the government of course and it Tony was hiding it from them then isn’t that super unethical?

What about the potential for disease and illnesses that could be brought over from a dimension with a starkly different germ history to Earth 616?

Do Gwen’s fellow students get to know she’s a foreign student from another dimension?

Are such things REALLy so common place blasé in the 616 universe? Surely the norm is to acknowledge that aliens and such things exist but to suspend disbelief to allow life to go on as normal, but if people are just actually reacting realistically to something like this doesn’t that break down the verisimilitude of the Marvel universe?

If Gwen is attending school with the legal name of Gwen Stacy and LOOKS like Gwen Stacy wouldn’t that raise a shitton of problems for her because she looks JUST LIKE A DEAD WOMAN! I mean Gwen’s clone at least changed her name. Is ESU really not going to have records of that time one of their students was murdered on a bridge? Gwen’s death was public knowledge the Green Goblin boasted about it on TV and Ben Urich wrote a book on it!

All of which is academic because even if Gwen earns a college education on Earth 616...how is that going to help her in the long run?

Think about it, she might be taught skills and stuff that she could then use in any jobs she adopts. But having skills is sadly only half the battle when it comes to getting a job. Of equal or possibly greater value is having the PROOF you have those skills. Someone can be a brilliant self-taught nuclear engineer. But if they’ve not got a college diploma to prove it they aren’t getting a job.

How is a diploma from Earth 616 going to mean anything besides a piece of paper on Earth 65. There wouldn’t be any records proving she attended ESU and even if Gwen tells them that she earned the degree in another universe they’d only have her word for it, faking a piece of paper saying you graduated is easy! Even if they did believe her no one in authority on Earth 65 has the power to verify how legit or qualified Earth 616’s ESU is. It could be an online course for all they know. Not to mention do the residents of Earth 65 even know that travel between parallel universes is even a thing?

I’m sure a lot of 616 citizens are probably vaguely aware of that but on Earth 65 that isn’t necessarily the case because they’ve not had a long history of Skrull invasions!

It’s all just so contrived to just have Gwen situated in Earth 616 because that would boost her sales in theory.

Creatively it causes problems too.

Let’s put aside how it means subplots and supporting characters are going to have to be divided between two universes where their collision will be difficult if not impossible.

Let’s even put aside how being a public figure in Earth 65 whilst she spends a huge chunk of her time in another universe entirely puts Gwen’s Dad (who’s human and at risk from heart attacks) at HUGE risk!

What is really gained creatively from having Gwen on Earth 616 where she can interact with like 616 Peter, 616 MJ, 616 Miles?

Fanservice. Sure. I mean that’s why I’m reading this.

But creatively speaking it is just...impoverishing for everyone.

Let’s first look at this from the POV of the 616 residents.

Miles gets to potentially date Gwen more easily now. This is a bad thing. Miles is already too similar to Peter and whilst this dynamic might work in the animated movies (which are themselves an AU to the comics) in an ongoing Miles story having him literally dating a version of Spider-Man’s girlfriend is reductive. Not to mention it might be a bad idea to have him date a fellow super in general, it undermines his normalcy and relative normalcy is important to Spider-Heroes. In this case it wouldn’t even be dating a hero, it’d be dating a hero from another universe!

For Mary Jane it also undermines her normalcy too as well as undermining the weight of Gwen’s death in her life because a version of Gwen, is alive and well and capable of regularly interacting with her.

The same holds true but a thousand times more for Peter. Unless you quarantine off this series as ‘Spider-Gwen continuity’ any time Peter feels mournful over Gwen now is going to feel rather hollow because you know he is regularly chatty with Spider-Gwen and literally helped her get into the same school as him!

That’s another bad thing about the comic by the way. Isn’t being on record as helping an other dimensional version of his dead girlfriend going to seriously put the spotlight on Peter in a big way? Does he even have the clout to help her get into ESU given how he’s only recently returned there himself? And what was with the dialogue implying he works there? When did that happen? He attends school there but he’s not got a job there last I checked??????????????

Also...isn’t Peter like seriously waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too chill about Gwen? Remember how in the 1970s Clone Saga (the story this comic actively references) he was seriously shaken up when Gwen’s clone appeared? Remember when he had varying degrees of similar reactions EVERY time one of Gwen’s clones showed up, including when Spider-Gwen was impersonating one of Gwen’s clones in Clone Conspiracy?

Now he’s face to face with a living breathing version of Gwen Stacy who is arguably more real than any of those clones and he’s all smiles and meh. He doesn’t even think about it in the other titles! Like dude if Spider-Man came face to face with a living Gwen Stacy that would dwell on his mind somewhat!

Now let’s consider this from Gwen’s POV.

What does she gain from interacting on Earth 616?

Well she gets to be comparatively more normal than on her own Earth where she is a celebrity. Okay cool...couldn’t you just get to the same ends by mindwiping her identity from people on Earth 65? I mean we already did this with Peter Parker why is the integrity of Spider-Gwen’s narrative more precious?

She gets to interact with Earth 616 Jackal...which is really more interesting from the Jackal’s POV because does she even know who the hell Miles Warren is? It doesn’t seem like it based on this issue. I mean that’s why I’m reading this arc right now. Because seeing Miles Warren react to a living Gwen Stacy is an interesting idea to me. But why move the main character in this direction to do something interesting with a villain. Not even one of her own villains either, another character’s villain. Oh but Earth 65 Jackal is also doing stuff. Why is he even evil in her universe she’s not dead? Was he in love with Peter in her universe?

This basically applies to every villain and supporting character Gwen could bump into on Earth 616. Norman, Harry, Jameson, Curt Connors, Jill Stacy, etc.

The most interesting characters she could interact with from her POV are Peter and Mary Jane. But with Mary Jane you have to think the mileage doesn’t go much further than “Wow you are much nicer than my Earth’s Em Jay (who’s name has apparently changed now) who’s a total diva b-word!”.

And with Peter...well this issue already basically dispelled the drama from that. She regards him as a older friend but not a peer, not her Peter and someone she can chat to and fight crime with sometimes. That’s it really. There was more emotion and drama derived from that Conway backup story where she met the Goblin Peter back in Spider-Verse.

Meanwhile her own supporting cast and villains are very much left in the lurch. I mean the Man-Wolf is getting released on her Earth and I’m just like ‘so what she’s not even there right now!”

And like Peter and Miles this torpedoes the idea of Gwen being relatively normal. Juggling normal life problems with superhero problems flies out of the window when you are commuting between dimensions, one of which you are famously dead and the other of which you are just famous.

What else is there to talk about.

So Gwen’s costume is apparently composed of spiders but is also a symbiote...um...weird. in fairness maybe that’s addressed in older issues.

What’s weirder was the random giant rat...what was that even about?????????????

The only other positive I have to say about this issue was that at least it wasn’t as pretentious and not as obnoxiously zany as Latour’s run.

Finally...what was up with that opening page saying Gwen got her powers a few months ago??????

You telling me Gwen got her powers in high school, became famous as Spider-Gwen, Peter got crazy and turned himself into a lizard before dying, Gwen changed her world view, a campaign to capture her happened, she went to college, THEN Spider-Verse happened, THEN everything in volume 1 happened, THEN everything in Secret Wars happened, THEN everything in volume 2, Clone Conspiracy and Web Warriors happened (including the Spider Women crossover), then everything in volume 3 including Spider-Geddon happened and all this shit happened...in under a year?

What the fuck was everyone on speed or something that’s ridiculous!

I’m gonna pick up the next few issues but if they’re more of the same I hope the Jackal story wraps up sooner rather than later.

#Ghost-Spider #Spider-Gwen #Gwen Stacy #Spider-Man #Peter Parker #George Stacy #Captain Stacy #Spider-Verse #Spider-Geddon #Em Jay #the jackal #jackal #Miles Warren #Mary Jane Watson #Mary Jane Watson Parker #mj watson #mjwatsonedit

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ldarchive · 5 years

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oc interview meme~

The rules: Answer the following questions as your OC of choice.

I chose Ari. The thing is, Ari hates talking to reporters -- if you hit on the right topic you might get an impassioned rant out of him (see: that scene in ME2 where Shepard starts listing all the ships that went down at the battle of the Citadel), but generally he’s pretty tight-lipped and brusquely Professional. So for this meme I sorta imagined him in like a semi-formal environment where he’d be more comfortable, like maybe if one of his friends was interviewing him or something... I’ve put too much thought into this, whatever!!

1. What’s your name?

Ari Shepard.

2. Do you know why you are called that?

I never got the opportunity to ask.

3. Are you single or taken?

Pretty sure it’s common knowledge that I’m married. The krogan guests at the wedding wanted to eat the reporters, but my husband said no.

4. Have any abilities or powers?

I used to run into stuff really hard for a living. Not sure how much of a talent that counts as, but they keep putting me in the news vids anyway.

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

Hey, Kaidan told me about that while we were watching Star Trek once! Really not sure I count, though. I’m just some guy. And not fictional.

6. What’s your eye color?

Blue.

7. How about your hair color?

Blond. Well, black. Usually somewhere in-between that.

8. Have any family members?

Sure, lots. My semi-successful diplomacy career did very little to prepare me for family reunions at the Alenko commune.

9. Oh? How about any pets?

We have a dog. Laika. Her adoption papers told me she’s the goodest girl in the whole galaxy. She’s a purebreed, I--we needed a dog with a certain temperament, you know, they’re very carefully vetted. But she’s not spoiled. OK, I can feel my husband rolling his eyes at me: she’s spoiled. But only because she’s earned it. Kaidan named her.

I have a lot of fish, too. They’re more high-maintenance than the dog, believe it or not.

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like.

Uh, sitcoms. People on public transit who look at me funny. Reporters, especially if they try to bug me when I’m with my kids. Seriously, cut that [redacted] out. Distance. Uh, politicians--heh. I could go on.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

You know, I’m an alright cook. I make a mean pot of soup. Yukagejang is a big comfort food in my house--it’s an old recipe. I usually make a big pot for the kids if Kaidan has to go away on business, but then he’s sad because he doesn’t get to have any. Heh. I grow a lot of the vegetables myself, too.

I have a music collection, too. Physical media. Very old-fashioned, but I lost a lot of my files some years back, and some of that stuff I was never able to find again! That haunts me. There was this one Batarian band... anyway, I’ve been hesitant to add more to it because our home is slowly being overrun by a frankly unsustainable number of kids.

(Editor’s note: Commander Shepard and General Alenko have two children.)

12. Have you hurt anyone in any way before?

I beat Garrus at a sniping contest once. I don’t think he’s ever forgiven me for that.

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

I feel like answering this would violate some sort of military doctrine or Council non-disclosure clause. I really don’t need the Spectres after me - I’m married to one, and that’s bad enough.

14. What kind of animal are you?

Well, my name means “lion.” I’ve never given that one much thought, but the recruitment posters got a lot of mileage out of it.

Something I heard a lot during the Reaper War, and the aftermath, was that people felt like caged rats. Or their culture’s equivalent. That the Reapers were treating us like filthy little vermin to experiment on and then exterminate. But, you know, I’m from New York, so I’ve always known that rats are mean little [redacted] and that they can absolutely bite back.

15. Name your worst habits?

...I’ve been a smoker most of my life, so I guess my worst habit is that I’m too damn persistent to give up on anything.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Well, my husband is the only human Spectre. Pretty cool gig, right? Very inspiring of him.

...I think Captain Anderson was the first person whose respect I honestly wanted to earn. That was near twenty years ago, and... that hasn’t changed.

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

I’m gay. If you’re trying to ask me out, formal inquires can be sent to General Kaidan Alenko, c/o the Garneau Academy of Biotics, Vancouver--

Kiddos, if you’re reading this ten years from now, that was a joke. Also, don’t you have anything better to do than read old interviews about your dad? Finish your homework.

18. Do you go to school?

I’m self-taught with most things. That sounds more respectable than a straight “no,” doesn’t it? I guess this is where I would I say I went to the school of hard knocks, if I was someone who wasn’t funny. Got some pretty remedial tutoring when I joined the Alliance, but that’s about it, unless you count ICT -- which, actually, yeah, I think ICT should count.

19. Ever want to marry and have any kids one day?

I already did. Didn’t think I would, honestly, but here I am. Life takes you weirder places than you’re even capable of imagining.

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

There’ve been a few. I appreciate the sentiment, but... heh, actually, no, I don’t.

21. What are you most afraid of?

I think the benefit of having survived a major war is that we have the option to not let fear run our lives anymore. That being said, I’m afraid of the usual mundane stuff. I don’t think it’s very interesting to hash out.

22. What do you usually wear?

I think I dress pretty practically. Durable clothing is great if you’re in the military or are just being assaulted by two toddlers daily. And if you buy everything in monochrome it always matches... Kaidan’s mom really hates that.

23. What one food tempts you?

Anything spicy. Spicy noodles. There’s this great noodle stand on the Citadel we still eat at, but they’re not paying me for an endorsement and I don’t want people crowding me out, so you can figure out the name yourself. It’s the ultimate hangover cure. Not that I would know.

24. Am I annoying you?

Yes, but luckily I’m too polite to say anything.

25. Well, it’s still not over!

I’ve got a hungry dog at home, you know. And two children.

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

I spent the first part of my life totally penniless, so it’s weird to say I’m towards the higher end now. It is something I try to be mindful and make good use of... it’s just nice not to have to worry about feeding or clothing my kids. Beyond that, a lot of it goes to various charitable causes. And, well, my husband’s hair gel budget.

27. How many friends do you have?

Too damn many, honestly. You ever tried hosting a party for dozens of people with dextro/levo options, biotic-proof furniture, and enough room for multiple krogan? It’s not easy!

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Mom’s--Kaidan’s mom’s--apple pie. But luckily I married her son and not you.

29. Favourite drink?

Coffee and red wine. Water. Whiskey isn’t bad either.

30. What’s your favorite place?

I’m boring now, so I’ve come to appreciate quiet places and being alone. Well, alone with my family, but they don’t count.

31. Are you interested in anyone?

I would not voluntarily wear a three-piece tuxedo and invite a bunch of people to gawk at me telling a guy I love him unless I was really, really interested.

32. That was a stupid question…

Just a bit, yeah.

33. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

There’s something about lakes that still kind of skeeve me out. I’m a city boy, so I always feel like I’m going to step on a leech or something. The ocean is nice, though, I grew up on the water. You couldn’t swim in it unless you wanted radiation poisoning, of course, but it was nice to look at. The beaches here on the west coast are pretty fun and not majorly toxic as far as I’m aware.

34. What’s your type?

I guess I’ve always dug the tall dark and handsome thing. Don’t tell Kaidan that, he’s obnoxious enough already.

35. Any fetishes?

Nothing I could talk about in an article my kids might read one day while avoiding their homework.

36. Camping indoors or outdoors?

I don’t think camping “indoors” is really a thing. That’s just staying in a house. Come on, don’t say you’re going camping if you’re going to be a lazy [redacted] about it.

#oc: ari shepard #mshenko

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