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#just ignore me i'm posting these ... for ... important
euniexenoblade · 2 days
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I think it's crazy how so many transfems have similar stories about tme people ignoring their distaste for Rocky Horror and I think it's wild how so many of us have trauma related to that movie caused by the people we saw as friends.
I think it's interesting that anytime transfems try to criticize the movie for transmisogynistic tropes, loads of tme people become combative, insulting, rude, they do not want us to critically analyze it, they do not want us to talk about it. I think it's equally interesting that if we then try to discuss the transphobia of Richard O'Brien, the creator, we are met with equal amounts of disdain. He has said trans women are not women, he has defended JK Rowling, but people will plug their ears about it. "He's nonbinary he can't be transphobic!" Or, transfems will just talk about the trauma of the movie, trauma related to the movie, there are so many joke posts about trans women getting forced to watch it by their tme "friends" and those are responded to with disdain and vitriol.
I have tried to rewatch the movie multiple times in the last decade, each time puts my brain back in that place where a cis woman friend who constantly talked about wanting me to be one of these characters for Halloween, betrayed my trust and put me in massive amounts of danger. When I watch it my brain goes back to the time I logged into Facebook to have some transphobe I don't know calling me FrankNFurter.
And it makes me wildly uncomfortable. These events in my life have just put a different sheen on the movie that makes it look so gross. And knowing I'm not the only one who feels this way about it so relieving, this movie held up as important LGBT cinema feels dehumanizing for me, and there's so many others that feel the same. But anytime we talk about it we are met with such contempt.
This isn't like, a coherent thing, it's just a personal rant. It feels so weird how tme people at large seem to walk over transfems over a movie. Which yeah yeah transmisogyny is a thing, but transfems not liking a movie seems so inconsequential. Why must we deal with the trauma of our so called friends not respecting our comfort, just to turn around years later and be ridiculed for having that trauma? It's just a fucking movie. And it has literally all the "man in dress bad" tropes we criticize other movies for. Why defend this movie to the death? It's just so annoying.
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lnkedmyheart · 2 years
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This one is in response to @fizzytastic asking
"I would LOVE to know what you mean regarding the light novels."
Dazai in the light novels has been down BAD since the day he met Chuuya.
I know the whole "must be because I love you" can be viewed as a joke but my man actually "whispered with a look of regret" at being shot down.
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He also proceeded to cheat during the game by tampering with the machine to ensure Chuuya would lose the bet and become his dog. He was also stated as being in awe of Chuuya's fighting ability, repeatedly refering to him as "incredible". Dazai also flat out admits to wanting to try out living because "Chuuya convinced" him.
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He is even described as having forgotten how to breathe watching Chuuya fight.
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Moving on to the events of Stormbringer, Dazai spends too long exposing his obsession with Chuuya, telling the big bad that he spends all his "days and nights thinking about ways to annoy Chuuya".
He further proceeds to insist that Chuuya is human because of how strongly he hates Chuuya and due to a specific word it can be viewed as him saying Chuuya would hate him less if he wasnt human as was stated in the stage play of the same.
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Furthermore at the end of Stormbringer he offers to come up with a new plan to give Chuuya an out if he needs one when he has to use corruption as a last resort. And he fully intends on coming up with a new plan within 2 minutes.
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In general Dazai does a lot of staring at Chuuya throughout the light novels. On a lighter note Dazai jokes about wanting Chuuya as his personal maid at one point and demands that Chuuya let Dazai look inside his head and know everything there is to know about him.
But then we move onto the dragon head conflict as mentioned in Dead Apple where after making light of an executive's death and getting punched in the face by Chuuya, Dazai is so shaken up by Chuuya implying he's inhuman, he actually pulls strings to try and bring the conflict to an end. He also stops corruption by touching his cheek and pulls Chuuya's head into his lap while he is unconscious after his fight with Shibusawa. The following is from the manga.
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Now everyone knows about the whole Snow White and Prince reference but in the light novel its clarified that Chuuya's ability was not affected by the fog and Dazai knew this but he still forces his head down. Even more telling is that Dazai cradles Chuuya's face for no real reason because Corruption had already been nullified when Chuuya made skin to skin contact when punching him in the face.
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And of course that was how their expressions are drawn in the manga panel
Then we move to the present day and you have Dazai saying this to Sigma about Chuuya
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But then his comment about Gide has him claim the exact same behaviour is romantic in his messed up troll brain
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Basically Dazai has a history of staring at Chuuya in awe since 15, "jokingly" confessed at 15 and then got somewhat upset about the rejection, cheated to be able to keep Chuuya as his, repeatedly makes remarks that imply he is vaguely obsessed with him at 16, tends to let Chuuya rest his head in his lap post corruption, has nullified him twice that we have seen by touching his cheek (as per the movie and once as per the ln). Is actively affected by how Chuuya views him (which was shocking to me).
Aside from that he has also talked about Chuuya to the ADA off screen because Yosano knew about Chuuya and his ability (though this could just be a random update about the membera of the mafia to watch out for during meetings) and I heard he talked about Chuuya to Oda in The Day I Picked Up Dazai ln.
This is not counting any of the seriously insane amount of wan content because I dont view it as canon or atleast entirely canon but there Dazai admits to keeping 27 journals detailing things about Chuuya and its an exaggeration of the canon fact that Dazai prides himself in being a Chuuya Nakahara Encyclopedia. It also plays with how close they both actually are with several character refering to them as besties, Chuuya being forced to admit he doesnt actually hate Dazai.
(Oh and this is not even considering just how much Dazai touches Chuuya, like in the manga there is a part where Dazai keeps tugging at Chuuya's hair and refusing to let go while complaining about how much he doesnt want to touch him. Just let go dude...)
So yea, I would not be surprised if Dazai has his vows prepared by the time the last pre defection ln drops. Ofcourse this is mostly a lighthearted joke about Dazai being down bad but in all seriousness, Dazai genuinely cared about and still cares about Chuuya and its made extremely obvious throughout the novels. Its actually worth noting that it was actually Chuuya who seemed to be more vitriolic towards him until the end of Stormbringer where Dazai actually gives Chuuya a choice and shows open concern for Chuuya's needs. Hell Dazai was also the one insisting on Chuuya's autonomy, while he keeps insisting Chuuya is his dog, he hates the idea of people using him like a tool, its why he always gives Chuuya a choice. Chuuya always actively chooses to go rescue Dazai in Dazai's plans of getting kidnapped. Chuuya can always go, "nah, I dont wanna use corruption" but he doesnt because he knows since the events of stormbringer that Dazai will always give him a choice even if corruption seems like a last resort.
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Chuuya has good reason for trusting Dazai. Its cause Dazai has in fact proven to him that he can trust him. Its why he went in to fight a dragon despite being told Dazai was possibly already dead.
(And yea I know the current arc would have people go "lol he tried to drown Chuuya, he clearly doesnt care" and you know what? That's so dumb. Dazai tried to drown Chuuya, yes. But we dont actually know what is happening with this arc rn and what he is doing or if Chuuya is in any way involved in whatever he is doing. Dazai said all those things and there was no need for him to say that but the fact that he even remembered several moments they shared, yea no, he was clearly affected by it. Maybe I am wrong and Asagiri decided to yeet out all of Dazai's characterization we saw with his behaviour towards Chuuya in 2 entire novels of his past but IDK I think I'm gonna wait till this arc ends and everything unfolds before making a conclusion about how Dazai is such an asshole he tried to drown his partner.)
Seriously, vows are like the least they could do at this point.
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i will never understand how or why the httyd movies did the books such an injustice.
the movies aren't even an adaptation - they stole the name of the series, the name of some of the characters and places, and the general idea that there are dragons. honestly, i would be fine with the movies and maybe even like them if they didn't capitalize off of cressida cowell's incredible books that never get any credit.
the books are an amazing story about the cycle of violence and how vengeance and revenge is dangerous. hiccup says that the past is a ghost story, one we need to learn from to better ourselves. the books are about how everyone deserves freedom, how every creature, every being on the earth deserves to be free. we see that in the slavemark, with the dragons.
and like... hiccup is so different. they did him a severe injustice. he's scrawny and intelligent and learned to talk to dragons simply by observing them! he chooses kindness first above all else; instead of yelling at toothless to train him, he is kind. and in the end, that kindness is why toothless chose to save him. bc even toothless himself says that dragons are inherently selfish creatures who care only for their survival. hiccup is brave - his beliefs differ drastically from both the vikings and the world.
hiccup is a child who chose to do the right thing even at the expense of himself. he agreed to free the slaves on nobert's ship, and in return, they gave him the slavemark which is easy to give but cannot be removed. he was like twelve. and having the slavemark means he cannot be with his tribe or his family, it means he isn't considered a human being anymore. and he keeps it a secret for awhile until it's revealed and when it is everyone turns their backs on hiccup. his family, his tribe, his mentor, people he TRUSTED. everyone except fishlegs, and, once she got over the shock, camicazi. he was thirteen. and even when he lost his memories and was really injured, he persisted. he was told to go to tomorrow and to save the dragons and he did bc in his heart he knew it was right even though he didn't know who he was or how he got there.
and fishlegs,,, oh my god FISHLEGS!!! the did him SO DIRTY!!! fishlegs is hiccup's best friend, one of the main motivators for hiccup. he steals norbert's potato for the sake of fishlegs, he gives fishlegs his dragon and goes to retrieve another, he takes the blame for fishlegs. and fishlegs does the same for him. he takes the slavemark with pride. he refuses to turn. he gives hiccup his lobster claw necklace which is his most prized possession. he is brave for hiccup, he believes hiccup is alive. he fights for hiccup harder than anyone else ever has. he does not turn. his is loyal, has allergies, has asthma, has a squint and a limp, has glasses bc he's blind without them... and he's still a hero despite being a runt, despite everyone even the adults telling him he's hopeless, telling hiccup to leave him behind.
and they cut camicazi! i'm sorry, but astr*d is nothing compared to camicazi. camicazi is a tiny, feral child who can easily best hiccup, fishlegs, and pretty much anyone in a sword fight. she can bring a grown man to tears with her rudery and smack talk. she is recklessly brave and craves adventure and follows hiccup blindly bc she trusts him that much. she isn't in love with hiccup - in fact she doesn't care about romance and love. she gives up everything to help hiccup bc she has a strong sense of justice. she is the motivator, the cheerleader, she finds a positive in everything. she never gives up. literally never gives up. and that's one of the most inspiring things about her: she always has hope.
and toothless! god!!! toothless is *thought to be* a common or garden dragon. he is horrifically tiny, he is literally toothless, and is the biggest brat in the world. he will cause problems on purpose. he has a stutter, he's the most selfless selfish dragon around. he and hiccup can talk to each other. he masks his fear with singing and being annoying. his growth is remarkable. he starts off refusing to obey hiccup, doing the opposite of what he says, making life harder for literally everyone around him, and he's still somewhat like that. but he's also braver, more caring, more willing to make sacrifices for the sake of others. he's clever, which he needs to be to make up for his size and aggression. he protects hiccup with everything he has, therefore, he protects what hiccup cares about just as hard. he was the only dragon that didn't abandon the vikings in the first book bc he cared about hiccup.
and snotlout,,, god,,, i will never forgive the movies for butchering snotlout. hiccup's cousin, the bully character, the one who is horrifically jealous that hiccup's dad was born before his. the one who desperately wants to prove himself, to be worthy, to make people proud. and you hate him, you despise him. he betrays everyone many times bc of the nothing promised to him by alvin and his mom. he loses himself, turns his back on himself, all bc he wants to prove himself. all bc he wants to be better than hiccup. and hiccup still forgives him and gives him chances, sometimes out of pity, but also bc snotlout is his cousin. he can't just turn his back on him no matter how miserable snotlout made his life. and in the end, snotlout sacrifices himself for hiccup. he gives up his life for hiccup in one last attempt to set things right. his death and the events preceding it are one of my absolute favorite moments in the book. gives me chills. makes me cry.
that's the thing with the books - they're so realistic. there is no inherently happy ending where everything works out. the first book begins with "there were dragons when i was a boy", implying that they're gone now. the books show there are consequences to our actions. they enslaved the dragons, they fought against them during the dragon rebellion all bc alvin and his mom said to, and now they're gone bc a simple apology doesn't fix hundreds of years of enslavement. and the only way for the world to move forward was for the dragons to leave and heal on their own. and now they have to learn to live without them. and yeah i've heard the third movie ends like that but. it doesn't have the build up. it doesn't have "there were dragons when i was a boy". it doesn't have eleven books of development to back it up, to make it feel meaningful.
i know that the movies are really special to a lot of people. i know that, on their own, they're genuinely good movies. i can acknowledge that the soundtrack is amazing and the animation is beautiful. i just can't see past the way they butchered the world that i love, the world that i grew up with. i can't see past the way people yelled at me for saying i liked the books better, the way that people gave me weird looks when i showed them a picture of the original toothless, when i tell them that nightfuries aren't even a type of dragon. cressida cowell created hundreds of different dragons, and the movies couldn't even pick from that. i can't forgive the way that barely anyone knows there are books bc the movie barely gives credit to them. i cannot forgive the way they capitalized off the books and then shoved them aside. i know cressida thinks they're good movies and i know a lot of httyd book fans also like them. but i just... i cannot get over how much they changed and how they missed so much and ignored the books. also they got rid of camicazi so hiccup could have a love interest and that is unforgivable to me.
if you disagree, that is a-okay. we're all entitled to our own opinions. i just ask that you, perhaps, try the books out. give them a chance. bc they're amazing works of art and also just like. don't yell at people who don't like the movies? whether it's bc they prefer the books or just aren't into that kind of movie. and just remember that dreamworks didn't come up with the story; cressida cowell did.
#corey talks:)#this has been in my drafts forever but i saw something that made me have feelings and so i finished it and here take this iuygfcvghuij#i justgod the books are SO GOOD and barely anyone knows theyexist#and i think that's what makes me the kost upset#or some [people chose to ignore they exist or don't give them a chance bc... i don't even know why. ppl are just so quick to dismiss them#the books are so important to me (literally got a httyd book tattoo) and i get most book fans also like the movies#but it sucks bc i can't go through the httyd tag without being bombarded with movie stuff#i'll even look up 'httyd books' and half of it is still about the movies.#i'll look up snotface snotlout and only finds movie stuff even tho ig they changed his last name in the movies???#i'll look up camicazi and find it filled with astr*d. WHAT.#i'll look u toothless and only see the freaking nightfury. not the original.#like god movie enjoyers at least tag correctly. i get you want ppl to see your posts but the more i see movie stuff in the book tag the mor#i hate the movies lol like the movies are so much more popular than the books let us have our tags okay#sorry if any of this sounds bitter also i hope it doesn't sound like i want to argue or fight#this is just my opinion and i have feelings and i just want ppl to know there are books#also i am not shaming anyone who likes the movies like i already said you do you boo just don't come at me for doing me#bc yes that has happened to me multiple times :) which is one reason why i get so upset :)#i just personally cannot separate the two. i know some ppl can and i'm glad! but i can't and that's okay too#httyd#httyd books
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hauntingofhouses · 8 months
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i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.
so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.
putting the rest under the cut because it ended up being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.
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thus, when i refer to mizu as nonbinary, i am interpreting mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that when i say nonbinary, it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.
okay before i go deeper i'd just like to address some important things. first of all, this post is an analysis of canon, and thus everything i am arguing for is about my own interpretation of the show, and not some baseless projected headcanon i am projecting onto the character. please remember there is a difference between an interpretation (subjective; interpretations will differ from viewer to viewer, but ultimately it is firmly rooted in evidence taken from the source material) VS a headcanon (unrelated and often even contrary to what is presented in canon; opinions wildly differ and they cannot be argued for because there is no canonical evidence to back it up).
ALSO please note that nonbinary is an umbrella term. this means that it applies to a vast range of gender identities. other identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include agender, bigender, genderfluid, and so on. however, it's my personal preference to use the term nonbinary as it is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels (more power to you if you do like them and find they suit you more though!).
also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.
the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.
which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.
anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no singular way to identify as anything, as everyone's views on gender, especially their own, is specific and personal to the individual.
so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading of the text. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.
me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or not always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is a very inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised racial identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. thus it is important to note that these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*
* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—
nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.
on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.
thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.
as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns for her, but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier to use in fanfic (singular they is confusing to write stories with, but again, that's just my feelings on it, and this is coming from someone who uses they/they pronouns). i also lean towards she/her because it's what the creators and all the official promotional copywriting of the show uses. and even though i am a "death to the author" enjoyer, i feel that when interpreting things that are left open-ended, it does help to look at the creators' take on things. also because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does, constantly.
also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my argument.
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so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.
TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.
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crownedwille · 2 months
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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coquelicoq · 3 months
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i love it when i can tell that someone purposefully went further up the reblog chain on one of my posts to avoid rbing a version with someone else's later addition. like good for you, i also thought that version was stupid lol.
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zeldasadork · 29 days
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musing outloud. ford clearly liked and cared about mabel but he was also. kindof dismissive of her as someone to trust OR worry after too much? up until she was directly put into mortal peril to threaten him and (more speculatively) up until she was the only one who kept trying to help stan. he didn't consider her until it affected him.
he did similar to dipper, he liked the kid well enough but didn't really take him into consideration until he could see himself in dipper (and even in that consideration, he didn't really see dipper's relationships as something to consider. don't tell the others, trust no one)
of course I say this with all the love in my heart because him being self-centered is very much a compelling and well-considered character trait. the times he'd relied on others- with stan and with bill and with fiddleford- had all fallen apart, with him alone and left hurting or having hurt. interpersonal relationships weren't really something he thought of with anything warmer than the bittersweet. and in that blindspot of relationships he didn't really seem to fully grasp the responsibility that comes with his 'teen' grandnephew's trust and admiration, what would come if the apprenticeship as proposed went through. or the staggering enormity of love that was stan rebuilding the portal for 30 years despite every single warning and hardship despite all odds to get ford back
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invinciblerodent · 7 months
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y'know one might think that in a fandom where every single character is bi or pan, people would be at least kinda normal about bi people. but god, even here, even now, there's just.... so much casual biphobia everywhere.
it's... disheartening.
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susieskinner93 · 1 year
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"Growing up feeling that something about you is different but you don't have the words to describe what that is, but then...freedom."
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For me, this captures the whole thing brilliantly because I felt the same, and it took me years to figure out that actually there was nothing wrong with me.
Yes, the journey to that realization was tough, but when you find the words to describe how you feel and who you are for the first time? It truly is euphoric.
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corfisers · 10 months
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag
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darkacademiaarchivist · 2 months
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i had a conversation with my aunt today about how the system and politics and basically everything is fucked at the moment (which is true) and she was SO CLOSE to so many points but she never acknowledged that capitalism is the root of so many of those problems... Bestie you're So Close...
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svtskneecaps · 11 months
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feel like the global tasks sweep strat should probably be nerfed somehow. my thought would be, give each team an individual ten minute overall cooldown on global task claims. that is to say, a certain team can only claim one global task per ten minutes. say, deliver gas masks, and then in ten minutes you're allowed to deliver tea, and then after another ten minutes you can claim hot chocolate.
another teams would be able to claim a global task for bananas during this time, and their own ten minute cooldown would start.
(the global tasks can either keep their individual ten minute cooldown [i.e. after tea is claimed no one else can claim tea for ten minutes] or a slightly shorter cooldown, say 5-7 minutes)
when a global task is claimed, everyone is notified, right? if not, in my hypothetical, they will be.
then, a team trying to sweep six tasks at once would actually take sixty minutes to do, allowing another team to swoop in and have a chance to stop it in cinematic, entertaining fashion rather than tubbo having to grind resources and then log out in front of the merchant to counter this, which is boring for everyone (including the person delivering). plus, if a team cuts it down to the last second and ends up getting delayed, they physically wouldn't have time to make a delivery, meaning even being a BIT of a nuisance could be a viable strategy, even if you can't manage to kill; if you can STALL you could still wreck their plans.
that's my dream anyway idk i'm not a game designer. just think it would be interesting for most players
(i elaborate under)
red team would have to shake up their strategies, which is fun since they're a team that kinda has to rely more on strategy than outright brawn (overall the team's pvp can't be relied on unless they have carre or phil, as seen today when pierre, bad, and etoiles attacked phil cellbit foolish and baghera, and cellbit and foolish both died to etoiles in the attack, despite it being a 4 on 1 at the time. baghera was killed by bad soon after. phil was the one to get the kills. the first day, when blue attacked [niki, tubbo, and bad as i recall] carre got both kills)
the other teams would then still have a way to stop a global sweep since a sweep would have to start earlier, allowing not only more time to arrive at global to pvp about it, but ALSO allowing another team to swoop in and steal the goal out from under the team again
i'm gonna use it in a scenario bc i'm badboyhalo and i can't stop myself from making examples:
so, tonight, if the proposed cooldown was in place, bad and tubbo would both still had roughly 17 minutes when red team would have HAD to start the sweep process if they wanted all six global tasks: 1 hour until the server closed at absolute MINIMUM. more for safety's sake.
therefore, in this scenario, there's a lot to happen
blue team could wait at globals, knowing red will probably try this strategy, and attempt or perhaps SUCCEED in killing red. if they kill red entirely, the operation is a wash; red doesn't have to gear to come back from scratch and take out blue team, and even if they could, the travel time to return to globals alone would mean they wouldn't get all the global tasks, potentially meaning they don't take the lead. if blue team is unable to kill red and dies themselves or has to retreat, but succeeds in delaying red, red would face the same problem.
if red sends in all of the task items on one person, and that person dies, even if the rest survived, blue could loot the items from that person and would be able to either use the items themselves, if green is currently the owner, or could run away with the items, effectively wasting red's time and again, meaning they wouldn't get all tasks claimed even if they were able to overtake the runner and reclaim their items.
i'm unclear what would happen if red divided the task items between them since it seems like the person claiming the task doesn't have to have all (or any? again, unclear) the items in THEIR inventory in order to claim so long as a teammate is nearby with the items in their inv (evidence: pac's vod "voltei... o que tá acontecendo no QSMP?!" at roughly 3:00:00; tubbo claims tea and tea is taken out of pac's inventory. i don't know the limits of this strategy)
blue team also has time to swoop in and steal a global task out from under red during this time. say, if red team had claimed the task for 10 tea leaves, upping the price to 15 tea leaves, and then blue team snuck in and claimed the task and set the price up to 20 tea leaves, (since the proposed 10 minute cooldown on claims would be TEAM LIMITED; red's cooldown applying to red only and so on). if red waited until the last second, they wouldn't have the time to reclaim this task even if they did have the resources, possibly forcing them to start their sweep earlier to counter this possibility, at which point team members who had logged on earlier and are out of time by the end of the night, OR members who live in time zones that don't allow them to stay up until server close, may have an easier shot at participating in defending against a global sweep.
all of this DIRECT CONFLICT would make for good audience entertainment and heighten the stakes of an attempted global sweep, since it would practically have to be one team defending globals for an hour while they pipe all their resources into it, knowing that if they die another team could easily swipe their task resources and use it themselves (along with the rest of their gear). it makes it more interesting, while still mostly viable.
plus it would force more strategizing for red team which is maybe just a personal plus, i just really like seeing people planning both in advance and in spur of the moment. it's really satisfying to see how a plan comes together and succeeds or fails; plus, since red team is the main team using this strategy at the moment and their main draw and strength as a team is cohesion and communication this would be completely fucking riveting for me as a viewer so maybe this is just a personal thing. but i really really think it would be fun
but again, i'm not a game designer, or a qsmp player, or a qsmp admin, or honestly even really a gamer? so maybe i'm off my rocker and out of my gourd and this isn't viable or balanced in any way shape or form but YKNOW what is this blog except putting stupid thoughts into the void and seeing if this time the void spits back hate mail so. i'm folding this into a paper airplane and throwing it into the abyss. hopefully it made sense.
k love you appreciate you getting this far, have a good week!!
(i hope your team gets a win in dramatic fashion and celebrates together!!! i hope they come together and unleash a plan so spectacular it takes the server by storm!!! i hope it's so good it becomes a vod you go back to even years in the future!!!! i hope you have a good week!!!!!)
#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#shut up vic#block game brainrot#yes it's long beneath the keep reading no i'm incapable of being succinct#i color coded the important parts though i just wanted to try to be clear#examples are my bread and butter i do programming and math they make everything easier for me to understand#god i hope this makes sense to other people i didn't ask my biological peer reviewer so idk if this is stupid or not#tbh it's just a tumblr post so i guess it's whatever if it is but i put wayyy more work than necessary into double checking timelines lol#(i didn't watch blue today sorry :/ idr if i mentioned in the body of the post but i main red team)#(their energy is just more entertaining for me personally; though i kept an eye on pac once i could multi-watch!)#anyway other team mains feel free to weigh in if i'm making weird assumptions about what the teams are capable of#heaven knows my pov is biased here LMFAO#((for what it's worth i am fully aware this means red team aren't rly underdogs anymore and i super want them to be kicked in the stomach))#((back to the drawing board; what will they do??? I WANT TO KNOW :O))#((seeing them crawling back to victory from being like two pixels on the bar on sunday was great. more of that pls))#idk i've rambled enough#long tags#ignoring daylight savings it's technically one am goodnight friends i hope this post doesn't suck hahahaha...............#OH AND IF ANYONE THINKS I SHOULD TAG SOMETHING FOR FILTER PURPOSES ABSOLUTELY LET ME KNOW#i want to be courteous but i think this post is pretty neutral in tone? but if you think it deserves a tag i will absolutely add it!!!!!
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bungobble-my-balls · 8 months
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Sigma and Atsushi in the same panel.....Sigma and Atsushi in the same room....
It has been 307 days since we've had official content with these two. This might even be the first official art we've had of them interacting in some way outside of the actual series, there's not even anything in Wan or the anthologies.
This is a great day. Thank you Dazai for being so annoying with whatever it is your doing to bring these two together again 🙏🏼
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rnolduga · 2 years
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Gerudo Height in BotW
NOTE: This is all approximation based on theory, done because simply eyeballing heights wasn't enough for me and I wanted an answer that could at least be explained.
I'll get straight to the point- this started because my fixation on BotW returned and I decided I needed to know Urbosa's height; looking it up rewarded me with poor results, so I decided to find it myself and I spiraled from there. Here we go:
To start, I need a solid metric to measure her height by, as well as something to compare her to. In comes this video by The Bread Pirate, in which he calculates Link's height and comes to the conclusion that he is 5'2", or 1.584 meters. This is perfect, because it just so happens that Link and Urbosa are depicted together on equal level in Memory #15 and that means I can use him to find her height through comparison.
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(I had to cut Mipha out from between them for this, rip)
I tried to approximate their heights as accurately as possible, excluding the added height of their hair because. Well. Hair doesn't count. Which is also why in the video, Link was measured in the radiant mask, which flattens his hair.
Now, The Bread Pirate utilizes the BotW memory editor to convert Link's height in in-game pixels to meters, and I can't do that here. So, alternative methods with a common metric have to be used. As seen in the above image, I measured both Link and Urbosa's height from the bottom of their feet to roughly the top of their heads, in red and blue. The black and white lines beside those serve to count each pixel of the lines more clearly, with an added line for Urbosa's heels, which will be subtracted from her total height later. As you can see, Link reaches 122 pixels tall, Urbosa is 175 pixels, and Urbosa's heels are 6 pixels. For simplicity's sake, I'll be measuring height in meters for the math and converting it to feet + inches for those who need it at the end. To find Urbosa's height, we have to find the height of each pixel. For this, we rely on Link's assumed height of 1.584 meters.
1.584 divided by Link's pixel height count, 122, equals 0.01298360655. This means that in this instance, 1 pixel = 0.01298360655 meters.
With that in mind, if Urbosa is 175 pixels tall, then Link's pixel height subtracted from that would give them a 53 pixel difference. 53 pixels, or 0.68813114754 meters.
Link's height of 1.584 meters + their difference of 0.68813114754 meters = 2.27213114754 meters, Urbosa's total height in the above image.
Now, her heels are 6 pixels tall, or 0.0779016393 meters. This, subtracted from her total height, equals 2.19422950824 meters.
So, in simpler terms, Urbosa is roughly:
2.272 meters / 7'5" in heels. 2.194 meters / 7'2" without heels.
That's super tall! Except...
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Huh..........................
This got me thinking. I assumed all Gerudo adults except elders used very similar base models and were therefore all the same height, so this was all for the fun of ignoring nintendo's convenient game development method of reusing models to treat each character like an individual, but could they be different heights?
To my surprise, the answer is yes!
Using the same method I did with Urbosa, I approximated the following (heels subtracted from all):
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Buliara: 2.315 meters / 7'7"
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Guard: 2.112 meters / 6'11"
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Avg. Gerudo: 2.019 meters / 6'7"
I left out elderly Gerudo because they're all signifigantly hunched over, making it impossible to get an accurate measurement, as well as Gerudo children, because I'm lazy.
(Side note, that'd make the Gerudo at the bar REALLY tall by their standards. Her in-game model is the same height as other average Gerudo around town, but I'm taking her word on being 8'0" for the sake of maintaining something that is definitively canon lol)
Now, there's just one last thing to mention: Traysi's estimation of average Gerudo height.
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Um.
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No, pretty sure that's much taller than the average Gerudo, I don't even have to do the math. also that's a cactus not a tree
Anyway. I went into this just wanting to know how tall Urbosa was and ended up doing a lot more math than originally intended to find the heights of other Gerudo too. Worth it tbh.
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coquelicoq · 5 months
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my family being the poster child for divorce is interesting because on the one hand there are several people who child me considered just regular family members who are now no longer in my life in any capacity which was really destabilizing but on the other hand now as an adult the concept of relationships changing and ending is so normal to me and i feel like that's actually a really useful outlook to have. also, the fact that several of my relatives' current significant others annoy the crap out of me is more bearable because it's like, wellllll, just give them a few years and they'll be outta here. lol.
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tardis--dreams · 1 month
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I actually realized i hate work. Won't be putting any effort into this anymore ♡
#sure whatever#it's funny because when i applied there i really really wanted this job#and it had nothing to do with that one person i got a little overly attached to#and when i started working there it was fine but i think really the only reason i liked it was because of that colleague#and now he's gone there's only annoying things left#also maybe i got too cuddled by him because he's always had my back until now#but i have to try to get things from the design team now and they just straight up ignore me lmao#like. my colleague asked me last week if i could ask them to edit some images which i did and they ignored me for 2 days#then HE sent them a follow up message and surprise surprise the images were there within 30 minutes#now again. he asked me to request some images and then built them into the journal#i request them. i hear nothing back. i send a follow up saying it's kinda important. i get nothing#oh well sorry man. guess you'll have to do that yourself after all (:#(i think it's really nice he's trying to give me so much more responsibility and all but if he's not there to back me up#it's literally not working because Everyone Is Ignoring Me :)))#also two weeks from now I'll be alone in our office because my other colleague who's in the same office as us#has announced she's gonna go share the office with someone else because she's gonna be alone otherwise#lol thanks#also some other shit someone posted in the group chat today which really pissed me off#AND the fact i got ignored AGAIN when i asked for work :) like bitches. i literally just watched netflix on my private laptop#while wiggling the mouse on my work laptop until i got off lmao#i won't go to the office tomorrow either#i was gonna go but i can't do shit there if i get ignored again#at least at home i can do whatever i want when they decide i should just get money for wasting my time ♡#i might actually just not work tomorrow#I'll probably log in just to see if there's any updates on the images situation but if not I'll fuck right off#fun times#(also maybe just maybe I'm generally a little negative these days. that may play into it. I'm sensing that sweet summertime blues ♡#((who cares if it's because of my father's death or because of my colleague's going away or because of general existential despair due to#university.... i'm just annoyed) )#void screams
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