#just like. wow we all got pretty intense about this one huh folks

[deermouth]

It's so funny how polarizing the end of ch36 was for people. Let's all just revel in how good the gay sex episode was.

[dzpenumbra]

1/9/23

Good lord, New Year's was over a week ago. What a trip.

Today... well, I've already posted today... so... there's that. That was a very different way to start the day, and honestly it was pretty cathartic. I came out of writing and did yoga, it wasn't as intense as the past few days have been. Maybe I was doing some of the poses wrong, I don't know. But I really do struggle to keep up, it's a weird thing. This one was a lot more about just transitioning between poses by following the breath, but my breathing was at a very different pace than hers, so I would either be straining to hold my breath at awkward times, waiting for instructions... or breathing faster than I wanted to in order to catch up. It got a bit frustrating. But, that's how it goes sometimes. It was still good. I did feel a bit of a pain in my hip today, that's been a big limitation for me. My range of motion in my hips and pain in my hip flexors specifically. I'm pretty sure the problem is that my abs and back muscles are way out of shape and my hips are compensating, but at this point it just feels like a whole body problem. Beyond the frustration of it all, that sharp pain was a bit concerning. But it was just momentary and didn't happen again, so I'm not going to linger on that concern.

I finished up my sister in law's present. I hopped in the shower. I was going to cut my hair, that was my plan, but I ran short on time. Guess why? Got distracted. Big surprise. But I was not just on-time for my dinner with my brother, sister in law and nephew, I was actually 10 minutes early. I was the first person there.

I was... well... I felt horribly out of place. I have been living in poverty for a long time. I mean... a weird contemporary amalgamation of poverty and luxury. Like... I have a drawing tablet for art stuff... but my clothes are almost all 10 years old and I can't remember the last time I ate out. I haven't gotten a haircut by someone other than myself since Obama was in office. I mean, the people at the front desk or whatever, podium? What the fuck do you call that? XD Were wearing suits and ties and shit. I don't even remember the last time I've seen someone wearing a suit and tie. Maybe my brother's wedding? Just... fish out of water feeling. I didn't want to go inside, get this, I was afraid they would think I was homeless and trying to like steal peoples' food or get inside somewhere warm. Yeah. Totally don't have an anxiety and depression problem, folks.

But I did go in, I chilled for a bit and met up with them when they got there and... they brought a friend, too. Which was a surprise, I was really not expecting it. A female friend, around our age. My guess would be that she is a little older than me, but she seemed really nice and kind, attractive. Fine, I'll get into it already. Here's my problem, as I lectured myself in the kitchen after I got home. I romanticize. Not just... romantically, but like... even with friends and stuff. I've mentioned this before but it was super glaringly obvious for me today. I see like two things in common and I go "wow, this is the one, huh." My brain is going really fast on this one, I'm having trouble keeping up with my thoughts. Because this is the exact problem I had with my ex. I saw that we had a few things in common - which we actually didn't, she just showed an interest in what I was passionate about and hid all her interests and life from me, super healthy - and I wasn't even really that physically attracted to her, and I just said "screw it". I don't want to make it sound all horrible, because we did have some good times and we did become good friends for a bit there, but... the things that I overlooked were pretty critical, were glaringly obvious from the very start and were the inevitable downfall of the relationship. So I'm just... I mean... protective brain kicks in in the background. PTSD brain. That goes... "be careful, dogg". "You sure?" "Do you really feel this way or is this just because she's the first single female you've seen in person in like 3+ years after being in prolonged extreme isolation?" And let me clarify, this wasn't even lust or love, this was just over like genuine interest in being friends. And I'm having this kind of thought process. My brain stampedes off to... "what if we end up sleeping together and it doesn't work out and it gets super awkward and she's obviously good friends with my brother and his wife so like... do I really want to jeopardize that?" And at this point, I'm even struggling to remember her name! My brain is fucking annoying sometimes.

To be honest, that thought-train didn't really kick into full gear until the end of dinner and the walk back. Especially the walk back. Because we all said goodbye and we hugged, mostly because my sister in law hugged me and it was just sort of a thing. And she was asking if I was "a hugger" as she approached and I just sorta went with it because I will take all the physical affection I can fucking get, it is like someone offering you coffee on the house in the morning, good god, you really think I'm gonna turn that down?! And as she was approaching she was saying, "you know, with Covid and all..." as we hugged. And it just passed right through me. And as I walked back home, it hit me. And I was just like... dude... I got my two shots back in like... 2021? Yeah, May 2021. And I haven't gotten a single booster. I didn't even really leave the house since then. And it's been on my mind big time lately with all the social pressures to go out and reintegrate in society again. I think it's a big factor holding me back with going out and doing shit. And I just had this feeling like... like I just had sex without a condom. You know? And I hate that, because I didn't feel that way with my sister-in-law and she is a doctor. Like, she's in close contact with sick people constantly. And we were just in a somewhat crowded restaurant. But yeah. I feel rude for having had that thought directed specifically at her. But, in my defense... it was physical intimacy. With someone that I was attracted to. Without using prophylaxis. And that's a very unique feeling. And I'm pretty sure it was the catalyst that set off that whole PTSD alert bells thing. Because it's waaaaay too easy to peer pressure me into being unsafe by dangling affection in front of me, and I have needed to work on that for a while now. It's just like... how do you practice when you're only looking for "the one"? Ugh, it's a whole thing.

So... that was unexpected. Not bad at all, and possibly a new friend in the area. She was interested in getting into wire-wrapping stones, she had tried it before and couldn't get it to work, so there's an icebreaker right there. And she's into yoga too, but I'm... I'm very bad at it, to be honest. I give it my all, but it's definitely embarrassing and I'm self conscious about it. Even if we're just friends, I'm 100% open to hanging out, it might actually be much easier that way for me. Think I'm getting ahead of myself much? But, I didn't get her number or anything, we just all said goodbye and went separate ways. So... I guess we'll see how it plays out from here. I'm not gonna stress it anymore tonight.

I met my nephew. He's a riot! We had the whole... he got upset when he first met me thing, which happens sometimes and I'm pretty sure I've had it happen to me before? Either way, I didn't take it personally and he sat next to me at the table and I got to chill with him. Spending a huge amount of time with animals helped me a lot in understanding how to communicate and interact with children of that age. They seem like they're even less "there" than like... adult cats and shit. But constantly thinking, always thinking. You can tell. I feel like cats and dogs don't think as often as we do, as frequently, you know? But yeah, I have been really priding myself in my ability to communicate with animals pretty clearly and openly, even animals I have just met for the first time. This was the next level, and it was really cool to have body language conversations and see him start to mimic my behaviors and sorta... invent games. Like he did this thing where he turned his head away and then looked back, so I would do the same and make a shocked YouTuber face and he'd laugh. Then he'd repeat it by turning his head again, like he was pressing a button on a machine or something, like it only took 2 or 3 times for him to learn that if he turned his head, I would turn mine too. Such a quick learning curve, crazy. It was so nice. Though, I was quickly reminded of how long it had been since I last was around an infant. Reminded by myself, of course... I wouldn't shut up about it.

Do you know how awkward it is to... try to avoid explaining how you used to be someone's godfather? Like... trying to tell someone you were in the military without saying you were dishonorably discharged? Or say you went to Yale, but avoid mentioning that you failed out? Something like that. I'm sure they didn't notice at all, my inner broadcaster/streamer/radio host comes out and takes care of the dialogue when that happens. I have to trust he knows what he's doing there. --- My cat is quietly snoring next to me, it distracted me. She's been adorable tonight, just sleeping and cuddling.

But yeah, I just really wanted to share my experience of being a father figure. It was incredibly short-lived, only a few months, but it was one of my most proud and just like... in-the-right-place moments I've had in life. And that was like... I want to say maybe 9 years ago? I don't know, I can't process time anymore. Maybe 10? I just really like sharing the story of how the original Twilight Zone episodes helped her fall asleep and were something entertaining for me to watch. That memory, the black and white screen and tin-can sounding audio, the taste of red Monster Ultra and White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Clif Bars, the smell of... all of those chaotic home smells when you have an infant in the house. It was a really important time in my life, and I like to share it with others. I like to relive it, and I want that time to be of value to others, too. So, I tried to suggest it to my brother in case he had trouble getting his son to nap. Just trying to be helpful. But I'm sure some psychologists out there would probably have some words about that, with their speculative whatever, as though the kid can even process what's on the screen.

Aaaaanyway. That was a lot. That was like... my first time going out into the world and being a normal person eating dinner out in a restaurant since well before the pandemic. And, to be honest, I didn't really miss it. Like... I never really liked it in the first place. It's loud. There are tons of people. It's sensory overload for me. Too many lights, too much movement, too many sounds, people completely disregarding personal space, shit like that. I really prefer dinners at home. Like, I mean this, if we just got the same furniture as the restaurant and put it in my place, then I picked up the food for takeout and we ate at my place, I would have liked it much more. I would have enjoyed the experience more. I think. Though, to be fair, when in a super overstimulating environment like that, it offers me many more outs for getting distracted. Like it seems like it's more socially acceptable for me to be staring off at the ceiling or something in an environment like that. But yeah.

That leaves me with... the vaccination thing. And I think I'm gonna go ahead and do it. Just get rid of that fucking anxiety. I might feel sick and shit for a few days? I don't think I did with the initial shots. That way it's just done, and I can go to the rock shop or the used furniture store and stop worrying about it. I have enough to worry about already.

Oh, yeah, last bit. I went ahead and shaved my head when I got home. I got this new headclipper that's circular, it's supposed to be specially designed for the uniform buzzcut that I've been doing the past year. And... it's not great. I mean, it's wireless which is fucking spectacular. And it cuts in all directions, which is crazy. But it doesn't do good with detail work, so I still need to use the old set of clippers. And I stupidly was trying to trim my beard with it and hit the wrong angle and trimmed it really short right at my chin, so I had to level the rest of it really short to even it out. My beard hasn't been this short in a while. It's a nice change, but like... unexpected. Don't know why I felt it was so important to share that, but yeah. New look, new role as uncle, new friend, new neighborhood, new dining experience. Lots of new.

OH and I got my ceramic tumbling medium so... there's a white noise hum in my apartment again! The tumbler is back up and running, stage 2 of the grind has begun. I'll check in on it in about... 2-3 days. But something tells me I'm going to sleep much better with that in the background. OH and I was talked into ordering wireless headphones - I got a good recommendation for headphones that will work well for sleep and for skating, so I'm stoked about that.

OH and I got to talk about the whole car situation and local alternatives like... ride-shares? Or something? I probably sound like a fucking coma patient to people from the city, but this stuff is all brand sparkling new to me. So like... I can pay a monthly fee and if i need a car to like... take my cat to the vet? Or go somewhere I don't feel like skating? I can just... take a designated car? Or something? I need to look into this. Because I am goddamn done with this rental car bullshit, I swear, that thing is gonna need neglect repairs from how little I use it, and I'm really getting really tired of waiting for my car to not be repaired. I'll just sell it to them, pocket the cash, buy a OneWheel and do this rideshare or whatever thing. Fuck it. And just get groceries delivered or some shit. Every time I entertain the idea, I really hope I'm not hobbling myself with it, but fuck it. Gotta shit or get off the pot with these things, or else some dealership will drain your bank account renting you a car for months at a time without calling to check in with you at all.

GRR. Done thinking about that shit. Good vibes. Hmm...

My sister in law loved the gift, and I mean... like... genuinely did. She's very bubbly and extroverted, but I heard a very different tone come out. That's why I love those pieces, that kind of thing. A handmade piece of artwork, or craftwork or whatever. It's something very special. It is not innately valuably expensive, like diamonds or a tech gadget or something. It's personal. It's handmade, hand-crafted specifically for someone. It has a really different effect. This piece, I harvested the stone from the earth itself. I broke the quartz free. I tumbled it over the course of over a month. I handpicked two pieces, deliberately paired, and hand-wrapped it with her in mind. Then made a custom inlay for the display box I ordered for it, hung it on a hand-made chain, and added in a sorta... plaque? Card? With a cutout section of a mandala on it. I was going to put black lettering over the brown mandala design, but I actually liked just having the mandala on it, so I left it. Seeing her genuine reaction to this, hearing the shift in her voice, seeing the change in her expression. That was very special to me. It made me feel like I was succeeding in doing a big part of my purpose on this planet.

My purpose is a hard one to define, because it's multifaceted, many of ours are, you know? But like... as far as profession goes... I am a creative. And my job, my purpose, is to express my perception of reality. To speak, to share. To express the way that I view the world, to share my perspective with others. So writing this journal has been absolutely crucial to my creative process, without this lifeline, my creativity would very likely have ebbed over the past few months. But I do struggle not only with getting my perspective to manifest effectively as... physical projects. As visual art. Most of my pieces lately have barely made it out of concept stage, or have been writing or musical. But I also struggle with the big one. (at least for me.) Connecting with people. Resonating. Online, it's very hard - near impossible - to tell if you're really resonating with someone. If they're feeling it. But today, I witnessed someone authentically resonate with what I created. It might not have been her exactly experiencing what I experience when this creative spark pops into my brain, that fascination and excitement, that awe. But it's definitely similar. And that echo. That magical inspiration spark of "oh WOW." Or "oh, holy shit, I get this, this speaks to me." I feel like that's a huge part of my purpose that's been missing. Like I have to not just find the spark, and grab the spark, and do the spark justice, but my goal is also to --- I'm having trouble wording this --- pass on the spark to others, echo it, elicit it within them. Not by my own coaxing or manipulation, but by their own genuine intrigue and openness to the beauty of the experience of life. I feel like, to be truly, fully successful, I need to not only do my inspiration justice through my developed tools, but my work needs to inspire people in turn, or at very least elicit in them powerful, visceral feelings/emotions. Easy, right? No pressure.

[7soulstars]

hey there. I don't know if you are taking requests rn so if you don't just ignore this one. I was hoping if you could do various avengers x reader .. reader has the ability to manupilate emotions , she can take away emotional pain, negativity and sadness from anyone and replace them with relief, positivity and peace, by simply hugging the person! every avenger turns to her after a mission for cuddles and comfort, you can take it from there if you like! thank you💞

 Hey darling ! Thank you so much for requesting! I really really love this request it’s really so adorable oof- I made it into a fic and I hope you like it! Anyways, lets get straight into into it !!

Euphoria

Pairing: Avengers x Avenger! Reader

Warnings: Little like really little angst, Hydra, Overwhelming fluff, Half the Avengers act like literal babies around Y/N . I HAVE ALL THE AVENGERS SAFE AND ALIVE IN THIS AND AVENGER LOKI !! Ooc characters??

Summary: Sometimes even the empath needs empathy but she refuses to say it

............

Euphoria ; the experience of excitement and intense feelings of well-being and happiness.

A silent motion walks down the streets, a silent motion called The Empathic Soul that was involved with them, The Avengers. While the rest protected, she distracted, like a guardian of the common folk who had never seen her. They wouldn’t know, but they praised, thanked and loved. Every time there was pain, there was war, there was casualties, she was there and they just knew it. They looked around but couldn’t guess. The sudden wave of calmness replacing their sorrow and panic distracting their attention from her, their silent protector.

That was what the world had named Y/N, The Empathic Soul as she watched the title flash on the TV screen at Stark towers as she sat beside Vision who was failing to crochet no matter how hard he tried. Y/N wouldn’t consider herself a hero, she didn’t fight bad guys although she was very capable of doing that, she didn’t go and almost get herself killed for the sake of getting rid of ‘pests’.

But she was an Avenger ? Yes. She was, but she didn’t consider herself a hero. 

She was behind the scenes, away from common eyes just there to clean up the mess and to take the worry of the mess out of everyone’s head. The Avengers had a polarising reputation. Although it got better after they won against Thanos there were still those who disliked them. But there was not a single civilian who would speak out the title of the Empathic Soul in despise. Y/N would like to keep it that way she had told Fury. She didn’t really have the best life growing up, the strain had given her the powers and she wouldn’t dare use it for anything other than the good of the people. She knew protecting someone came with a cost. Her powers can be used for things unimaginable, wrong things and that’s why she needed to stay anonymous.

Though not all praises about Y/N may be true, one thing was for sure. She was a gem, one of the most selfless person anyone had ever met. With or without knowing about her powers. She couldn’t stand seeing someone sad and that is what made her the sole person every single Avenger was ready to get along with each other for.

Y/N had been a part of the team for 3 years now and she had made all the trauma dissipate and had even managed to make the most unapproachable team mmates open up. She had made sure Stark Towers was always warm and fuzzy no matter how cold the world seemed.

The meanest of all things Y/N has done is manipulate the emotions of people like Zemo to make them confess and feel the pain of the people they caused pain to reflect and repent whenever Agent Everett called her in for.

The robotic voice of Vision snapped her out of her zone as she looked at him as he pointed at the elevator. As Y/N turned to look she felt an overwhelming level of tension.

Oh. It’s one of those days.....

The door opened to a familiar multitude of spandex and metal clad people filling into the living room all making an aggressive beeline at the empathic. 

“I CALL DIBS ON Y/N !”,yelled some simultaneously as they glared at each other and argued. Some went straight to the bar pouring themselves a drink and another very specific non alcoholic one along with it. Some stood frozen, colour drained off their face, to be more specific, Wanda,Peter,Bucky and Bruce. Peter walking straight into Y/N’s arms as she held them open as soon as she saw them. Wanda and Bruce following as Vision looms and floats behind them.

“That bad huh ?”, Y/N asked as she tried managing to drag the four towards the couch and plopped down with them. Bruce parted away from her and Wanda followed suit a pleasant smile slapping onto their face.

“18 casualties ”, she heard the blonde star spangled man as he wrapped an arm around her waist moving to hug her by the side as Natasha’s arms wraps around Y/N neck from behind the couch, her head plopped on top of Y/N’s for a few before she whispered a thank you and left to go find Bruce. “And 5 completely decapitated buildings you always forget the buildings Steve ! Now move I need a hug from our gal !”, Sam complained as he agressively made motions for Steve to move away from Y/N as he nearly tackles her. “Careful Sammy, it seems like Peter’s fallen asleep”, the empath notifies as she carefully rests the Spiderboy’s head on the couch from herself as Tony lays a blanket on his body. 

“Kid was really hard on himself today, he froze mid battle and was thrown right onto a car, the injury was not that bad but it sure was something. He kept asking if he could call you the whole way back”, Tony said as Y/N stroked Peter’s hair as she got up. “Made you a drink as I poured myself one”, he said offering the glass to her which she took and set back down on the table and then proceeded to take Tony’s glass away from him before he could even sip on it. “This is your third glass and I can sense your annoyance, come here ”, Y/N scolded him as he opened his arms for a hug. “My suit broke down halfway through the fight”,complained Tony into Y/N’s hug as she patted his back, concentrating on pushing the positivity strain in the man.

“I need to be back at the sanctum.... Y/N ?”, came a voice making Tony groan why is it that every time I hug her that you need a hug? The sanctum can wait ! Isn’t Wong there?” “Tony...”, warned Y/N earning a eyeroll from the billionare as he made her promise him hugs later as he sauntered away. Y/N let out a soft laugh before taking Stephens hands into hers and a gentle smile . Stephen placed his hand on her cheek as a smile plastered on his face. “You should have come with us......they-......I and the rest of them needed you.....”,he mumbled making sure no one heard. “I’m sorry, I would have joined but I had to get some Hydra agents to spill some secrets.....”,she reasoned. “If I did not have to return I would have loved to talk to you more about how I feel.....although you will feel it before me and-” “I come visit tomorrow”, she stated simply earning a sigh of relief from the other as he stepped into the portal still hesitating to leave your hand.

There were three left Y/N knew. And she knew where they would be. She walked down the hall that leads up to all their rooms, a door opened and before she could react she was lifted into a bone crushing hug who’s only culprit could be the golden retriever god. “Thor! I was looking for you! How are you feeling!” “Pretty usual Lady Y/N ! I suppose you are visiting my brother ! I couldn’t join today’s mission, I was visiting Asgard ! Anyways I shall let you be !”, and with that he went back into his room. He wanted stay but he knew so needed her more than him he decided he could bother her later.

“They were children ! Can Midgardians stoop this low, they were experimenting on children !”, Y/N could hear as she got closer to the door at the end of the corridor. She opened the door slowly and softly, right after knocking it once.

She saw a flash of black and and overwhelming sense of anger and sorrow before she was tackled by two bodies that made sure her head didn’t hit the floor.

“Hey calm down wow what the hell Loki? Buck? What went THAT wrong?” , Y/N asked the two who had gotten quite close to each other with help of her involvement throughout the years. They realized their similarity and now shared quite of lot of things with each other that they could never tell others. Well, other than Y/N. Y/N slowly replaced their emotions as they let out an appreciative grunt. Before sitting back up. “The people taken hostage by Hydra were children. They were beaten badly, hell some were flinching even when we tried getting them out. I may have done some questionable things in my life but I would never think of doing anything to children. This why this planet needs to be ruled !”,spat Loki in frustration as Y/N rubbed his back soothingly. They were silent for a while before Bucky spoke up. “Those kids were being trained, like Nat. Easier to manipulate, easier to make into soldiers like me.” Y/N sighed, her face dropping as she tried not to hiss in pain. “You saved them though right ? I will probably be called to rehabilitate them. I promise I’ll make them feel better”, she tried to assure them. “ It is not about that darling, I just wonder how many children might be there in Midgard that are being forced into things like this out of their will.” 

Y/N never said anything after that but what happened was bothering her and was clear as water. But every time they would try asking her she would quickly change their mood to a Euphoric state and distract them. It felt as if matters were getting worst and Y/N looked sicker and sicker. The team had no choice but to ask Fury.

“ I suppose she has not informed you about her mutation.”

“ What about it ?”

“Well it is not as easy as she makes it seem. You see, every time she replaces an emotion, she feels them. The malice, the pain and everything stays inside her and will stay that way until it is not given to other people. Y/N grew up in an abusive home. Empathy was never shown to her and it got worse by the time she was 15. She first started experiencing immense pain and one day it became intolerable. The pain, without her will got transferred to everyone in that house. No normal human could handle it the way she could and they eventually died because of it. She blames herself and that is why she is not allowed to go on missions with you because we fear that might happen again.”

Everyone was  bit shocked by the story they were bombarded with. The felt guilt. All this time it was her who was comforting them and never once had they asked her about how she felt. In fact, if Y/N had not interfered with certain things they might have regretted their actions or may have committed unforgivable acts.

She was their hero. And sometimes the hero needs to be saved to.

Y/N was startled to say the least when her bedroom door burst open and several bodies jumped on her making her feel a sudden high and the pain in her head trying to leave She closed her eyes and tried as hard as possible t not let go of it.

“Y/N I swear to god let it all out ! Were a lot of people we can handle it ! Be a little less harsh on yourself !”, nagged Wanda leaving the empath speechless over the fact that they found out her secret. After more perstering she let go. “Jesus Christ !/Oh my god!/How do you live with this!”, yelled different people simultaneously as they felt what Y/N has been holding to herself for all these years. “Lady Y/N I take back what I said about being the strongest it seems like you are the strongest one to be able to do this and take care of all of us with a smile”, Thor declared.

“You know we love you right miss Y/N ?”,Peter questioned.

Y/N couldn’t say anything if she did she would cry. Her heart swelled even more and for the first time in her life she felt like she truly belonged. The soft tune of Euphoria by Jungkook played in the background the lyrics etching the end of this story.

“Take my hand now, you are the cause of my Euphoria”

--The End--

....... I have never written such an intricate fic on this app. I do not know if it is good or not anymore because I am in too much feels. I really really hope you like this *crosses fingers in anticipation*.This was really fun to write! I did delete the draft like 7 times though because I wasn’t confident about it😅.. I really hope you like this🥺🥺.....Please like and reblog my posts if you like them! Feedback is highly appreciated and please do not plagarize my work. I really work my ass of on them! Thank you so much for supporting me darlings !❤🥰

~Love, Hri

[thiswasinevitableid]

For the Meet Ugly Prompts-38, NSFW Danbrey?

Here you go! Note: there are mentions of blood in this.

38: overhear you ordering your coffee in a coffee shop and I’m trying to place your voice when I realize that you’re the phone sex operator I’ve been calling on and off for the last few months but the realization startles me so much that I accidentally spill my drink on you and you’re pissed

“One spiced mocha, one oatmilk latte!”

Aubrey reaches for her mocha just as a painfully cute blonde in overalls grabs the latte.

“Oh, excuse me” the blonde calls over the counter, “could I get a lid, it looks like you’re all out at the station. Thanks, you’re the best.” She smiles at the teenager who hands he the lid while Aubrey tries to figure out where she’s heard “thanks, you’re the best” said that exact way before.

Oh shit. Oh shit.

She’s heard that voice every Tuesday and Friday when she calls LoveBites, the premiere service for people who really like vampires. Really, really, like vampires.

Honeysuckle, as the woman on the other end of the line calls herself, probably isn’t a vampire. Aubrey figures most of the people who work that line are just very good at pretending to be fictional monsters. She is, however, incredibly good at getting Aubrey to cum with vivid descriptions of where she’s going to sink her teeth.

“AH! Hey, watch what you’re doing.”

Aubrey snaps back to the coffee shop to discover her drink is now all over Honeysuckles shoes.

“Ohmygod, I’m, I’m so sorry.” She grabs a fistful of napkins, drops down to clean the mess of coffee and chocolate syrup from the floor. She reaches to help clean off the other woman's shoes only for her to wave her away.

“It’s fine, I got itshit” she glares as Aubrey, in her attempt to get out of her space, stands too quickly, bumping her head into Honeysuckle’s cup and sending it all over both of them.

Okay, she can totally salvage this. Right?

----------------------------------------------

“...then I just ran away.”

Duck laughs so hard on the other end of the phone that he startles Dr. Harris Bonkers.

“Oh come on, like you’ve never done something embarrassing in front of someone cute.”

“Dunno, you might have just beaten my ‘six Freudian slips in a row trying to ask ‘Dird how his weekend was.’”

“Ugggggggggggggggh.”

“It’s okay, Lady Flame” he manages to sound genuinely sympathetic through his giggles, “lots of cute folks out in the world who you ain’t spilled two cups of coffee on.”

“Yeah.” She checks the neon orange clock on the wall, “I gotta go practice my tricks for this weekend. Thanks for listening to me whine.”

“Any time, Aubrey. See you at the show.”

She gets through two tricks, including the one where Dr. Harris Bonkers disappears from a box, but she can’t focus. It’s not nerves; instead, she feels like if she got off just once, she’d stop feeling so tense and be able to run through the rest of her act without issues.

It’d be a very bad idea to call LoveBites when she spilled a drink on her favorite operator. She doesn’t feel like talking someone new through her preferences, and she knows with Honeysuckle she’s guaranteed to get off, which wasn’t always the case with previous operators. Besides, the length of her calls must be enough to pay for a replacement drink.

She grabs her phone and dials. Soon a familiar voice purrs down the line.

“Hi, Aubrey. How’s my favorite human tonight?”

“Good?”

“You don’t sound so sure about that, fireblossom.” It’s a new pet name; ever since she mentioned her stage name, Honeysuckle likes to give her ones woven through with flames.

“I, um, I'm fine?”

“Did something happen today, hot stuff?”

“Uhhhhh. Um. I, uh, I made a fool of myself in a coffee shop. I, um, I spilled my drink on a cute girl. Also hers.”

Honeysuckle goes quiet.

“I, um, I think the person I spilled them on was you.”

“..............spiced mocha?”

“Yeeeeah” Aubrey curls inwards, trying to cringe away from her phone, “I’m really sorry about your shoes. And your overalls. And your drink. I, um, I wasn’t gonna mention it but it feels, like, weird not to and I really was going to offer to replace your coffee except I was kinda worried I’d somehow spill that too. I’m, I’m sorry. I just really like talking with you.” She smiles shyly, “you’re my favorite vampire.”

Dead air, then “you really want to make it up to me with another drink?”

“Yes!” Aubrey sits up, hopeful.

“Even if the drink isn’t coffee?”

“Sure it, it can be whatever you want.”

A hungry purr that makes Aubrey reach for her trusty vibrating wand, “In that case, don’t go anywhere.”

“What? But you’re-”

The line goes dead. Aubrey stares at it, frowning. What is she supposed to do now? Did they get disconnected accidentally? Should she just call back?

She shoves the toy back in the drawer, paces back and forth between the kitchen counter and the table where her cards and flashpaper are strewn about, unsure whether she should make dinner, practice, try to get off, or just give up on everything and go to bed.

From his hutch in the corner, Dr. Harris Bonkers honks, thumps his feet in alarm, then turns his bugged-out eyes on Aubrey and thumps again as if to say, “what the fuck, why aren’t you heeding my warning?”

“Aww, it’s okay buddy. Is that cat on the fire escape again?” She looks out the window, finds nothing but some mist. Mist that’s hovering on her tiny balcony and no one elses. She blinks.

Honeysuckle is standing on the other side of the glass; she’s wearing a loose green tank top and grey yoga pants, golden hair taking on the tint of the nearby streetlights. She gives a demure wave as Aubrey throws the back door open.

“Holy fuck I thought the vampire thing was just, like, a gimmick.”

A shrug, “There’s more humans than vampires working the line, but some of us are the real deal. I know a few vampires who do it because it lets them work nights and keep an actually nocturnal schedule. But some of us do it as a side job and go out during the day. Which means we see cute girls in coffee shops who we think we might ask out who then spill drinks on us.”

“Aw beans. Wait, were you checking me out for real.”

“Uh huh. You must have been doing something super interesting on your phone to not notice.”

Aubrey resolves to delete Candy Crush immediately.

“Um, so, not that I’m not happy to see you again, but like how did you find my house?”

“We can trace numbers on our end. It’s a security thing; back when the line started some hunters kept trying to use it to go after vampires, so we needed to know where calls were coming from.”

“Blegh, that sucks.”

“Yeah, not my favorite.” She flutters her eyelashes, “any chance I could come in?”

“Absolutely, uh, here” she holds the door--which has no risk of closing without a lot of force--so the vampire can step into the apartment.

“Do I, um, should I still just call you what I always have?”

Golden eyes look her up and down hungrily, “Dani is fine.” Then she squeaks, “ooooh, hi there little guy, can I say hi? Oop, okay, some other time.” Dani smiles as the rabbit ducks into his covered box, “animals can be kind of skittish around me at first. Which makes sense.” When she turns to look at Aubrey, her fangs are visible.

“Hooboy that’s, that’s, uh-”

Dani steps back, “I can back off. I just, um, I thought since we’re both into each other and you were, um, already in the mood for some lovebites maybe we could -”

“NoItotallywantto!” Aubrey grabs her hand, pulling her towards the bedroom, “sorry, the fangs are apparently an insta-horny button in my brain.”

“Good to know” Dani spins her by her shoulders and pushes her back onto the bed, fangs now on full display, “take your clothes off, fireblossom.”

Aubrey thanks herself from two hours ago for changing into her pajamas so she doesn’t have much to rid herself of. When she gets her shirt off, Dani is down to her underwear, green boyshorts showing off her legs and completely distracting Aubrey from any unwelcome self-consciousness.

“Mmmmmm” Dani crawls onto the bed with her, “I thought you were cute before but fuck, you look incredible like this.”

“Thanks” Aubrey’s breath catches as Dani bumps their noses together, “can, can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

She raises up on her elbows, mapping Dani’s mouth with her own. Aubrey’s kissed plenty of people in her life, and there have only been a few where the gesture felt like coming home, like she was slotting against a body that was meant to be with hers. All of those pale in comparison to the way Dani’s body seems to meld with hers. She gasps when the vampire cups her right breast, teasing the nipple with her thumb as she eases Aubrey all the way down. Her other hand finds her face, traces from there to the base of her neck, touches moving from light to sharp as she curves her nails down her skin.

When the fangs scrape her sternum she moans. Dani snickers against her, kisses and nuzzles her way down her chest, sighing when Aubrey threads her fingers into her hair.

“So, my pretty snack, what were you going to ask me for when you called?”

“I, I was kinda hoping we’d talk about you eating me out.”

A kiss above her belly button, “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“OhgoodOH, ohfuck” she opens her legs wider as Dani dips her head between them, “ahhhn, please, a little higher, ohfuck, god.” Her hips twitch as Dani sucks her clit. There’s a muffled laugh as two fingers tease her cunt.

“Wow, you really do like the fangs.”

“I mean yeah, but that’s more because you’re really hotOH, ohyesfuckthat’sgood.” She moans as Dani presses two fingers in, stroking and rubbing in time with the vampire’s increasingly wanton groans.

“Fuck, Aubrey, that’s it, you look so pretty like this, be a good girl and cum for me.”

“Trying” Aubrey squeaks as Dani laves her tongue across her clit and curls her fingers inside her, “fuck, right there, yeah, ohyes, that, just like that.” She squeezes her eyes shut, clinging to Dani’s head and to the hand gripping her thigh. When she cums it’s intense enough that she’s terrified she’s going to kick Dani accidentally, but the vampire simply holds her thighs down, lapping at her until her moans die down.

“Fireblossom?”

“Uh huh?”

“You still owe me a drink. Whatever I want, remember?”

“Yeah? Oh, oh fuck yeah.” She squirms in excitement as Dani drops to the floor and pulls Aubrey towards her until she’s able to hook her knees over her shoulders.

Dani pushes stray hairs from her face, “If you start feeling lightheaded, tell me okay?”

Aubrey gives a thumbs up, winces at how dorky it is, then giggles when Dani cranes forward to kiss it.

The vampire kisses a line from her right knee to her inner thigh, sighing loudly when she noses a certain patch of skin.

“Perfect.”

Fangs sink into her skin and Aubrey clamps her hands over her mouth to avoid waking the neighbors. It’s a sharp, precise pain, flooding her body with the urge to lay back and let Dani take her fill. Then the teeth retreat and Dani’s tongue takes their place, licking the red rivulets and moaning as she sucks at the punctured skin.

“Such a perfect snack.” Dani looks up at her, heavy-lidded and scarlet-mouthed.

“Dani” Aubrey reaches for her, not sure what she’s even asking for.

The vampire takes her hand, rubs it against her cheek, “Does it still feel okay?”

“It feels so good.”

Dani smiles, turns her head to pierce the left thigh, Aubrey moaning weakly as she drinks from her. The moan is echoed, and when she manages to lift her head she sees Dani’s hand is not between her own legs.

“Oh god that’s hot.”

The vampire grins at her, “I get dinner, you get a show. It’s perfect.”

Aubrey watches her lick the bites until they cease bleeding, her moans pitching higher as she fucks herself, getting off on the taste of Aubrey’s blood-tinted skin. Then she tenses, tipping her head back, fangs glinting in the light from the windows, and gasps Aubrey’s name as she cums.

Then a blonde head rests on her knee. Aubrey sits up, Dani’s hair as they catch their breath.

“I, um, I should clean you up. Do you have band-aids?”

“Bathroom.”

Dani stands, cheeks much pinker than before, and returns a minute later with the Pokemon band-aids that Aubrey bought solely for the Charizard ones. She wipes her legs with a warm hand towel, gently pats the bandages into place, stealing giddy glances at Aubrey the entire time.

“You know that fucking ruled, right?” Aubrey rests her head on her shoulder when Dani joins her on the bed.

“Glad you liked it, fireblossom. Can’t believe I’m lucky enough that the hottest human I’ve met in years has a thing for vampires.

“Pretty sure I just have a thing for you. Which, um, I mean this can totally stay casual but, um, do you want to go out sometime?”

Dani nods, leans in for another kiss. She must have borrowed Aubrey’s mouthwash, since she tastes of mint instead of iron.

“I’d love to, Aubrey. But, um, let’s avoid coffee shops for awhile?”

“Good plan.”

[neednothavehappenedtobetrue]

okay. this is a post about a new character, who is a person in the same 'verse as the main one for Robert and Isabelle, sci-fi and spaceships. she is a pastor in the one specific "limits on technology" religion I made up, but also, she is very cool. she does not live on their main terraformed colony, she lives in another colony with some definite cultural differences.

I am mostly posting this for my own future reference. there are definitely people who will enjoy Gwendolyn a lot, even with the extensive trigger tag situation here, but I think "a short story that has space for more nuance" would be a better venue for her than "my thoughts from Skype at 4AM"

if you do decide to read this, check the tags first, please

shoutout to @anonymus-maximus-er for being my thought partner on this.

but as I understand it now, there are, like , degrees of Intensity in Church Of Man

like, even their chillest followers are kind of intense about it because it's hard to be real, real chill about "god said we were only allowed to use these specific fifteen technologies" or whatever the exact rules are

but as far as incubators go, Aimee's community, the one you saw, would definitely have been like "well, too bad God wants that baby to die" and there are some other communities which would be more like "okay, probably make sure your baby does not die, do what you've gotta do there, but don't come back and talk to us afterwards"

and also for sure there are communities like "do literally whatever you have to do to make sure your baby does not die, we will be here with whole-made casseroles when you're home again"

and like, could some of those kids have benefitted from subsequent quality-of-life stuff they didn't get? probably, yes

to varying degrees

but hopefully Aimee finds a nice community where she can be like "this is so important to me but my babies and I experienced a bunch of technology in order to not die and we got excommunicated."

and they're like "wow that sounds like a lot of Not Your Fault would you like some whole-made casseroles and toddler clothes?"

and she's like "I got excommunicated" and they're like "did you know, perhaps you didn't, that there is no Central Authority for every Church Of Man church in the galaxy? there for sure is not! the people from New Maryland often pretend they are, but we didn't vote for them! your old pastor is just not at all the boss of us, is the thing"

that is the future epilogue I want for Aimee

I feel like the Tau Ceti Church of Man community is small and some people think they're weird, but they're nice neighbors. their pastor is a woman named Gwendolyn or something who is just constantly mad about Richard Brinton That Fucking Asshole

she has never called him any of those words because of decorum, she has just spent a lot of time talking to new people like "wow you seem very traumatized did you know he is not the boss of us?"

"we don't have a pope!"

"we've tried to have a council a few times, but it's logistically complicated"

"every church is supposed to make its own rules in accordance with the texts"

"yes, I have read every single one of his missives to the world, I know which bits of the Texts you probably have memorized, here are some bits I like a lot"

Gwendolyn has some opinions

like, churches are supposed to set their own rules about "necessary" technologies and she has quietly labeled almost all life-saving medical technology "necessary"

meanwhile, Brinton thinks it's necessary for him to have access to telecommunications equipment to he can send his editorials all over the galaxy, so people can be Educated

huh

of course, he does not actually physically touch the telecommunications equipment, he keeps like four people who know how to use it around so they can spread his word, but also, huh

the thing about Gwendolyn is that she has spent a long time watching traumatized New Marylanders join her community, many of them quite young and quite traumatized

also, she was never a New Marylander, she is fourth-generation Tau Ceti, which, crucially

means that her first set of principles is "Church Stuff, Misc" and her second set of principles, right there after the first is "you're not the boss of me"

even if somebody could point to actual scripture that said they were the boss of her, she would have some trouble with it, but some dude! who cannot point to anything at all! no justification whatsoever! nothing in the texts even a little bit! keeps trying to be the boss of her! and also keeps traumatizing all of the people in his community pretty badly! and making everyone else look like jerks!

"I'm more conservative than you, therefore, I am the boss of you"

NOPE

not for Gwendolyn

Gwendolyn votes in every local election and votes for her Senator, who she has met and quite likes. she occasionally goes to protests when the local government does some dipshit thing, but the Tau Ceti local government is pretty well-behaved because if it's not the citizenry will absolutely be like "fuck you, you're not the boss of me" at its government

she has some Very Big Opinions about debtor employment. she's not thrilled about the like, severity of the gang situation in her city, but she doesn't have a lot of optimism that the Government is gonna fix it, so she does community groups instead

also, in recognition of the fact that she can't just throw these traumatized New Marylanders right off into the personal autonomy deep end she is like "okay, if you need someone to tell you what to do sometimes, I will be the temporary boss of you until you are ready to be the boss of you"

she does not Love that aspect of her job, but sometimes you gotta

you can't bring people from "obedience all the time" to "you must make every choice in your life with no backup" overnight, they'll just collapse in on themselves or become targets for worse people

so she does the thing

she and Brinton have a <very> passive aggressive correspondence going as church leaders

there are many many long letters back and forth

they are very polite and also, if any of them are preserved, historians will find them fascinating

"wow these people just fucking loathed each other"

Anonymus, 5:05 AM

your obedient servant, A. Burr

5:05 AM

if they did not live on separate planets, legitimately maybe

like, if she could get to Brinton's house on a horse to yell at him in person, she would have by now

she didn't swear a lot in real life, but sometimes she wanted to

she got real good at saying "that man" or "sugar" or "nonsense" in A Tone, but you could tell

I can't decide if she has a husband or a wife

Aimee's church definitely thinks gay people are Modern and therefore Wrong, but like

I feel like probably their specific religious texts don't even have that much on being nice to people? like, there's definitely a few pages on like "kindness is an ancient value, we hold fast to ancient values, these are them"

but it's like 70% Rules Minutiae

it's also not a super long book

so everybody has very different opinions about how to interpret the Rules Minutiae in light of the 30% of the book that's like "here are our actual values"

"modesty" and "fidelity" are both in the Ancient Values bits for sure

and I feel like different denominations went in different directions on the "modesty" and "fidelity" implications of "gay people"

no, I've decided, Gwendolyn definitely has a wife

show her in the actual rules where she can't have a wife

yes, fidelity, that thing she has with her wife

Anonymus, 5:13 AM

can the wife be a very proper rebbetzin?

organises all the casserole chains

5:14 AM

yes, she can definitely organize all of the casserole chains

5:18 AM

right

Gwendolyn's wife's name is Tara and she came from an Earth Church of Man community where they were like "technically it's not illegal for you to be gay, but, like, ehhhh? we'd rather you didn't and also you definitely cannot have children if you're gay"

5:20 AM

and she got to Tau Ceti and met Gwendolyn who even in college was like "show me in the texts where it says I cannot have a wife."

"show me."

Anonymus, 5:21 AM

sounds like excellent breeding ground for Very Textually and Theologically Conversant, but not actually a religious authority

5:21 AM

the thing is, Tau Ceti is Bad At Authority

if they had a motto on their coins it would just be "you're not the boss of me" but maybe in Latin

but maybe not even in Latin because people who know Latin often think they are the boss of you

Anonymus, 5:22 AM

WHO MADE U KING

5:22 AM

for real

I think there is a dude who is technically the "boss" of Gwendolyn and they take turns giving the sermons and calibrating which parishoners they support based on like, communication styles in a way that often ends up with just all of the women and queer folks being Gwendolyn's people

she is smarter than him, he handles all of the Local Politics things that require you not to go "EXCUSE me, where is the LAW ABOUT THAT"

Anonymus, 5:24 AM

different type of smart

5:24 AM

if he ever tried to pull rank on her, she would either be so startled that it would work or she would unhinge her jaw and eat him

so he's never tried

he doesn't want to! very few people on Tau Ceti even want to be in charge, both because it's like herding cats who will hate you if they catch you herding them and because the finely honed distrust of authority doesn't go away when you become authority

Anonymus, 5:26 AM

"I'm pretty sure I'm up to some bullshit"

5:27 AM

yeah, Gwendolyn spends a lot of time with these sad transplants from other communities, nearly all of them women (because for SOME REASON women tend to get excommunicated WAY MORE OFTEN. HUH. are there ADDITIONAL RULES for WOMEN? I DON'T SEE ANY)

and they're like "please I am so sad and scared just tell me what to do"

and she wants to be like "I am not the boss of you, you have to be the boss of you" but they often are not ready for that, so she just tries to get a sense of what they want to do or what might be healthiest for them and tells them her strong recommendation is that they do that thing

everyone in her community knows she is passionate and can get fired up about some of this stuff, she doesn't hide that, but also, there are some conversations she (a only has with her wife and also (b has had with her wife a number of times

they are basically "our community is like 55% traumatized exiles from other communities and like 30% traumatized people from This One Dude's Community specifically. he traumatizes women and girls and girls he calls women and gay people and parents with sick babies!"

"we have so so many people we take care of now who are so so shaken and traumatized and sad"

"and we only get the people who don't leave the faith entirely!"

"it's not fair! it's not fair that he gets to do that! it's not fair!"

because when you carry the faces of like twenty good people all traumatized by the same garbage person and all you can do is try to take care of them and send passive-aggressive letters, sometimes it sucks!

if they lived on the same planet and she could get there on a horse, she would have done something ill-advised by now. yelled, certainly

but then again, if she had been born on New Maryland she would be a super different person and if he had been born on Tau Ceti there would have been a hard upper limit on how much he could get anyone to listen to him

like, bad bullshit happens on Tau Ceti, but the first time he married a fourteen-year-old girl off to her rapist, his neighbors would have set him on fire

church of man neighbors, regular neighbors, possibly neighbors who are criminals, just all the neighbors

5:37 AM

so her wife listens to her cry and reads over her letters to Brinton to make sure she doesn't actually say anything Too Impolitic (I think her boss also reads them, but he's less invested)

and her wife has these new folks over for dinner and helps them find clothes for their kids and adapt their modesty rules to the thing where it's like, as hot as it is possible to be in Tau Ceti

5:38 AM

like, most of the summer it's like 120 degrees, on a brisk day in December it drops into like, the low nineties

5:39 AM

sometimes people from other communities are like "we do modesty more modestly than they do" and they have to be like "okay, your choices are us dressing this way or us using air conditioning, because people do die in real life of heatstroke sometimes, that is a thing that can kill you"

also, even before Gwendolyn came along, her previous pastor was definitely like "we're gonna make electric fans permissible. we're just... heatstroke sure does kill you in real life"

"particularly in Modest Dress"

she liked him. they had meetings like twice a month when she was young because she had A Lot of questions and her parents were less invested in the answers than she was

when she was like twelve, he was like "maybe they'll give you my job one day" and she was like "I don't want your job! you're the boss of people!" and he was like "they very much would not give you my job if you wanted my job, kiddo"

(even 50% of the organized crime leaders on Tau Ceti are like "hey, I'm not the boss of anybody, I'm just a guy you don't want to fuck with because of all of the friends that I have got"

"I am not the boss of you, but I do have this gun")

5:49 AM

final thought on Gwendolyn: she had a real hard time when Robert Thompson died, because that dude thought her faith was a good reason to murder a husband and father.

and like, that dude is a fucking asshole, obviously, but it's hard

and then Brinton puts out an editorial about it and it is the only time Gwendolyn and Tara's children ever hear one of their mothers swear

because she is usually super meticulous about that

but also, sometimes

there is a limit

she makes several attempts before she writes him her next letter and the subtext of the entire letter is just "fuck you SO much, I do not generally believe in Hell, however, I will make an exception"

there is a limit! a man is dead and his wife and daughter are grieving and then a dude who everyone thinks is, like, the pope of her puts out some bullshit like "of course we don't do hate crimes but also that dude who got murdered deserved it" bullshit

there is a limit she is past it!

5:53 AM

also, they have seven adopted kids

[johannstutt413]

(requested by mathmaticalknight; continuing a series)

“Ya know, I dunno why I thought she mighta been jokin’ ‘bout the tuxes.” Croissant was blushing brightly as she was getting her measurements taken.

Mostima shrugged. “I don’t ever plan on getting married, but one of us was bound to tie the knot sooner or later, and Texas needs to find an officiant who will sign two certificates for her discreetly before it’s even an option for her. Where are your hanger-ons, by the way?”

“With Angelina, doing the same thing we are.” The Lupo had a Pocky stick in her mouth like a cigar, taking it all in. “I wouldn’t marry Sora, though. Exu maybe, but not Sora. She’s a good girl, but the whole ‘idol worship’ is a bit much.”

“She’d really want you to praise her that much?” The Sarkaz smirked.

Texas rolled her eyes. “Funny.”

“If any’n’s worshippin’ any’n, it ain’t Tex.” The Forte chuckled, but had to stop when the tape measure came ‘round again. “Hey, how tight this need ta be? Least gimme a lil’ room ta breathe ‘ere.”

“Don’t question my judgment, ‘less you wan’a punishment. I been wearin’ this look a lot longer than you.” Emperor bit back, making the last few notes he needed.

The three shared a glance. “You wear T-shirts over your feathers, though,” Mostima observed.

“Well, yeah, cuz’ I like the style,” he replied, “but if ya ever see me rockin’ my birthday suit, you’d know I’m just as fuckin’ classy. Got killer shoes to boot.”

“What, yer feet?” Croissant glanced down at the penguin’s openly-visible legs.

He nodded. “Damn straight. The boys will have your suit to ya within a couple days; when’s the big shindig, anyways?”

“Uh...I dunno.” The Forte shrugged. “We’re gonna sign the papers a week from now, but we don’t have money for a ceremony.”

“Well, then, imma have to do it myself.” Emperor opened his notes again and walked away, pen scribbling faster than before.

Texas shook her head. “That’s how you know you’re the Boss’s favorite, Cross.”

“Aw, shucks, I didn’ wan’im to pay fer it.” She sighed. “I’m gonna be payin’im back ferever at this rate.”

“Could be worse - if he died before forever came along, the debt would probably go right back to the company.” And with that, the Sankta left, the other two not too far behind, to meet Bison in the lobby.

Meanwhile, Magallan was moving at a more leisurely pace, listening to Angie recount the proposal story. “That sounds exactly like I imagined. Empy’s was a lot more ostentatious, but I had no idea what was coming, either. WIth him, he could’ve been holding an impromptu concert.”

“That’s the Emperor, alright.” Exusiai sighed. “I can’t imagine what it’d be like to go through something like this. Can you, Sora?”

“Hmm?” The ‘Lupo’ had been doing just that, actually.

Angelina smiled. “Oh, I think she can. I’ve had that look on my face for the past week now...It’s too bad we can’t afford to have a ceremony, though.”

“You can’t?” The Liberi measuring her stopped. “Oh, dear, why didn’t you tell me? I’m sure Empy and I can help you with that; consider it our wedding gift to you both.”

“You’d really do that? But they’re so expensive...” Her fiance’s sense for money was rubbing off on her.

Magallan chirped merrily. “Oh, it’s no big deal; we’re making so much, it’s a drop in the bucket. How does three weeks from today sound?”

“Oh, Magallan, I can’t just blindly agree without talking to my Croissantwich first...buuut that’ll probably be okay.” The Vulpo was about to explode from happiness; luckily, they were done with measurements at this point (because of Liberi efficiency), so she was free to detonate with glee as she burst out of the dressing room. “Croissaaaaaant!”

“Angie?!” The Forte heard her and turned around in time to be slammed by a full-speed makeout machine which managed through sheer enthusiasm to knock her to the floor.

Texas nodded as the other two followed out. “Ceremony?”

“Ceremony,” Exusiai confirmed. “Emp and Maggie paying for the whole thing?”

“That’s what he said...Wonder if he’ll pay for ours.”

Two Penguin Logistics members turned bright red as Bison and Mostima had an intense but muted conversation off to the side...Yep, just another day in Penguin Logistics.

-----------

“Wow. They really did pull out all the stops, didn’t they?” The Doctor and Amiya took back their IDs from the door guard as they walked into the auditorium that’d been taken over. “It’ll be hard to match for ours.”

“Doctor darling, we probably shouldn’t compete with the Emperor like that. He doesn’t like to back down from a fight.” Besides, why would she need a grand ceremony? Just her and the Doctor at the altar, Kal’tsit as the Maid of Honor, Savage and Blaze as bridesmaids-

There was a tap on her shoulder as her date gestured to the seating. “I wonder if they expect to fill the place tonight.”

“Everyone’s sitting so close to the front, it’s hard to tell.” The Cautus shrugged. “Let’s sit back here. It’s a bit crowded there...So many emotions at once might overload me.”

“As you wish~ Oh, they’re about to start, I think. One question: why is Texas on the other side and wearing a suit? And why isn’t Emperor, even though Lappland is in one?”

Amiya shrugged. “Hard to say, Doctor. How did Lappland get to be a groomsman when Bison is- Oh! He’s the officiant.”

“When did he get that certifi-” He stopped as soon as Bison began to read.

“Friends, colleagues, and esteemed leaders of Rhodes Island,” the Forte began. “While I stand before you today acting in a merely ceremonial capacity in this celebration, I cannot begin to tell you how exciting a day this is not just for us at Penguin Logistics, but for Rhodes Island as a whole. Never have I seen a pair more in love than the two who come here today to declare their union in holy matrimony. Will the groom please come forward?”

From a door off to their right, there was a bit of a ruckus, followed by Croissant stepping through with a sheepish smile on her face as Emperor walked her to the altar before taking a front-row seat. Evidently, she’d knocked over a coat rack or something as she’d approached the door, but that wasn’t what grabbed people’s attention.

The Doctor squeezed Amiya’s hand. “Our Croissant is a rather handsome woman, isn’t she?”

“Oh, hush, dear.” She lightly slapped his hand, which was resting atop hers on the chair arm between them. “I think she looks lovely.”

“That’s what I meant, darling, just in a masculine sense. The style matches her perfectly, and the tailoring is also impeccable, honestly.”

She gave him a look. “Have you been studying this sort of thing?”

“It’s important to have a broad knowledge base.” He smiled as the Forte stepped up to the altar, clearly noticed she’d missed her mark, and shuffled a little to get into place. “Oh, Cross...”

“Uh...thank y’all for comin’. Wudn’t sure how many people’d wanna come when we’d already tied the knot on our own, but uh...It means a lot ta both of us, I know. Uh...” She probably had more, but she choked up with tears in her eyes in the face of Rhodes Island’s full support on display. “Th-thank y’all so much...”

As Texas patted her on the shoulder, Bison continued. “Is the bride ready?”

“As ready as she’ll ever be,” Mostima muttered as the opposite door opened to reveal a procession: Greyy with a pair of rings displayed on a pillow walking with Gummy, who was sprinkling the floor behind them with flowers. Behind them, Magallan was arm-in-arm with Angelina, who was wearing a suit of her own.

“Oh my God,” Amiya gasped in wonder. “Doctor-”

He nodded, squeezing her hand. “I see her, too, dear.”

“Hot damn,” Emperor audibly muttered, catching the attendees off-guard and eliciting more than a few laughs.

“Thank you, Emperor.” Angie smiled at him before turning to the crowd as Maggie took a seat. “My parents aren’t here, and I doubt they’d have agreed to attend if I’d told them, but Penguin Logistics is more like my family than anyone. The other day, I finally married into it, and...I just wanna say, to everyone from Rhodes Island who was able to make it, and the folks who had work to do, I appreciate everything you’ve all done for Cross and me since I got here. Even if this probably isn’t what any of you saw coming...Bison?”

He smiled. “Greyy, if you would?” The Perro held out the pillow for the couple to each take a ring. “Excellent. Now, as I wasn’t able to be fully ordained in time for this ceremony, I can’t lead the two in a recital of their vows, but they asked to be able to each say something here today. Angelina, if you will?”

“I think my wifesband should go first,” she teased, grinning at the blush that turn of phrase created.

“Well, ya only get ta do this right once, huh...” The Forte wiped at her eye. “Hoo boy. I was there the night Angie realized her feelin’s fer me, but I’ll a’mit, e’er since the firs’ day I saw ‘er, I ‘ad a pretty good ide-er just ‘ow wun’erful she is. Ain’t a lotta girls in’a world that got both a good ‘ead on ‘er shoulders and a warm ‘eart like she got, but ‘at ain’t e’ry’in ta love ‘bout ‘er either. Not sure if she ‘members this, but first time we met was back when she aksidelly went’n PL lookin’ fer the Doctor. Nothin’ like ‘avin’ some’n so gorjus tell ya ‘Sorry, was lookin’ fer some’n else,’ ya know?”

A bit of laughter from the crowd before she continued. “I reckon I ‘ad the last laugh there, tho’, cuz’ guess ‘oo gets to call ‘erself Mrs. Ajimu now...Angelface, we were friends long ‘fore I thought we ‘ad a chance at bein’ lovers, so you know when I say I’ve seen ya at yer best and yer worst, I ain’t tryin’a diss ya. There ain’t a nuther person in ‘is room as lucky as me t’day, ‘cuz the love of my life loves meh back...Ya prolly shud stop meh, else I’ll just keep ram’lin’.”

“That’s alright; even if these folks have other places to be, I’d listen to every word. You know, darling, if it was a nightmare that inspired you to propose to me when you did, I have to wonder what happens when you have a good dream, but I think I’ve been living in one since the day we had our first date. Between movie nights with the company and waking up to your smile in the mornings, it’s like living in one of the cheesy teen novels I loved reading after floating up to one of my usual spots. Loving you is a flashback and a memory and a dream and a reality all rolled up in knowing that, whatever happens - arguments, deployments that separate us, maybe even one of us getting hurt - there’s nothing in the world that’ll stop me from needing you, wanting you, standing by your side...Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me...” Having said her piece, tears in her eyes, Angie reached out and slid her ring on Cross’s finger, who did the same in turn.

“I think I’m gonna cry,” the Doctor whispered to his date, who already was. “G-good call on the back sea--” And there went the water works.

Across most of the auditorium, actually, save for those physically incapable, and Bison, who soldiered on regardless. “That said, before we get to the festivities provided by Emperor and Magallan for the evening, it’s my duty to ask: if anyone here has any objection to this union - not that it will matter from a legal standpoint - speak now or forever hold your peace...Good, because I’d punch you myself if you did. Then, by the power invested in me by Rhodes Island and subsidiary company Penguin Logistics-”

“When did that happen?” Amiya asked in a hushed voice. “I thought we were just partners with them?”

“Closure and Emperor came to some kind of understanding. I wasn’t there for the process, I just signed the agreement.”

“-I now announce you to the world as Mrs. and Mrs. Ajimu. You may now kiss your bride.”

You didn’t have to ask them twice.

The celebration afterwards was wild as hell. Emperor had an impromptu concert (as expected); Bison proposed to Mostima, who actually agreed before falling apart in a spectacular show of emotion Exusiai had thought was impossible for her; the Doctor and Amiya tore up the dance competition that broke out, but narrowly lost to Croissantwich and Angelface in the karaoke contest afterwards; Lappland admitted that she wasn’t actually in love with Texas but trying to rile her up into a duel so she could get to Exusiai the entire time, which actually got the Texas family’s most composed to go full Mafia Samurai on her ass as the Sankta and the idol looked on in a mix of horror and “omg I knew it;” and through it all, drink was had, and merry was made.

Terra was a difficult place to live in. Poverty, inequality, terror, bloodshed, fear, hatred, jealousy - they’re no less potent or prominent on its surface than any other world’s, a product of the inevitable confluence of humanity’s imperfections magnified across a barely-numerable and broadly-scattered population. With all that said, though, there was much to live for, and as Angelina and Croissant made it home and threw themselves out of their clothes for the ‘real’ celebration of the evening, none of that mattered. Tomorrow would come, or it wouldn’t, but that night was theirs in a way no other would be...

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

Share a Lair 06 || Sharing His Space

Max surfaced some time in the afternoon. Jasper and Henry were sitting at the island, eating plates of food whenever he walked into the kitchen and smirked to himself when he saw them. Charlotte’s face brightened up as soon as she saw him. That made him break out into a wide smile. “Morning, Charlotte!”

“Morning? Try maybe three hours ago, Friend.” She laughed and he came over to where she was standing near the stove and leaned against the counter, “You cook?” He asked.

“Oh, no. I didn’t have time, but my Uncle Roscoe is ALWAYS concerned that if the whole family doesn’t have greens and black eyed peas that the year won’t go right. Despite the fact that he’s been cooking and eating this every year himself for ages and I haven’t seen him have a year that I thought went right in my entire life.”

“Can I have some?” Max asked.

“You ask for things nicely?” Henry asked.

“He asks Charlotte things nicely,” Jasper said. The two of them smiled at each other and she furrowed her eyebrows. What the heck did they mean by that?

She ignored them and told Max, “Of course you can. There’s greens and black eyes peas that he gave me entire pots of. All I had to do was warm it on the stove. And also a whole meat pan of ribs, and I may have shot my shot with his cornbread recipe.”

Max grabbed a plate, “So, your family has like a FEAST for New Year’s Day?”

“Kinda,” she said. He just smiled at her.

Jasper watched them carefully and wondered, “Is there something going on here?” Max realized that he was standing extremely close to Charlotte, practically in her personal space and they were just smiling at each other. They both got some distance at Jasper’s question, and he said, “Nevermind.”

Max sat at the table and ate, then had seconds and thirds… Henry’s eyes were wide, “You can really put some food away, huh?”

“I’ve got superpowers,” was all that Max said.

Charlotte, having been finished eating a while ago, but was still in an apron, now nursing a cup of tea sat down and said, “Right, your biology is a little bit different than ours. Like, your scans and vitals and stuff register differently, so of course, your metabolism and probably other functions would too. Plus, with the range of powers that you have, your natural internal processes are probably so different from ours that our estimations can’t really comprehend it!” She sounded so interested, but also, Max almost felt like she was speaking about some bizarre creature.

“I’m human. I have human functions, but yes… my genes do some things differently.”

“Yeah, I mean, yes - obviously you’re human, but you’re superhuman. It’s not exactly the same.”

“I mean… It’s not, but it is!” He said, kind of irritated. Something about the thought of her seeing him differently was troubling for him. Henry grabbed his empty plate and gave Max a weird look as he went to make another plate for himself.

Charlotte said, gently, but sternly, “I wasn’t trying to upset you, Max. I’m trying to understand.” She shrugged her shoulders and left it alone. He obviously didn’t care to talk about this.

“Did you get any sleep last night?” He wondered. “We got back here pretty late and you called me this morning.” Great. Subject change. She nodded.

“I got about 4 hours of sleep, no… 3.” She sipped her tea. “I’ll probably crash tonight as soon as my head touches my pillow.”

“I wore you out last night, I’m sure,” he said. Jasper choked on his food and Henry snorted laughter. Charlotte’s lip dropped. “Grow up. I only meant I kept her out all night, party hopping.”

“What else would he mean? Because everybody here knows that nothing else would have ever happened between us! I’m not… That girl.” He thought about last night’s little kiss… Actually, he hadn’t stopped thinking about it. He’d been thinking about it from the time it happened, even through the dream portion of his sleep. He couldn’t believe that something that lasted so short in real time was having such a lengthy after effect. But also, she clearly didn’t want her friends to know that it even happened.

He got up, collected his plate and tossed it in the sink. “Henry, don’t forget that you or Jasper have clean up duty for the next two months,” he said and retreated back into his chambers.

Charlotte asked, “You lose a bet or something?”

Henry and Jasper both stammered over word vomit, avoiding admitting that they sold her out with house chores. She put her tea cup away, went to Max’s door, and pressed the button that she guessed worked like a doorbell. His voice came through the speaker, “Yes, Charlotte?”

“Hey… Are we okay?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?”

“I don’t know. You seemed… different… than last night…”

He was quiet for a while and she wasn’t sure if the connection had ended, but he sighed and said, “I’m not the only one.”

She whispered, “Okay, sorry. I will loosen up more. Like last night… Well, maybe not like last night, but…”

He heard him chuckle, “Okay, Charlotte. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

.

Charlotte was more at home in the place than Henry felt lately. He was usually trying to be more mindful about the shared space, considering that he had to be the one to clean it up for now, while she just sort of chilled. She would straight up go into the shared spaces without checking in with Max anymore. She’d pretty much made herself at home.

She even started to wander in wearing night clothes or bringing some to change into, at times. That started, she claimed at Max’s suggestion.

It was the third weekend in January and she staggered out of the tower, exhausted beyond imagination and almost didn’t even notice that Max was outside. When she did, she yelped and startled him. “What is your problem?” He asked, with his hand over his chest.

“What’s yours? What in the world are you doing out here at this time of night?” She asked.

“I live here. I can be out here at whatever time of night I feel like it. What are you doing out here?”

“Getting ready to go home!” She said, a little snappy. “It’s the MLK Weekend and if I miss ANY of the festivities, my parents will have a long, civil rightsy fit. So, I am about to try not to fall asleep as I head back to Swellview so that I can hopefully get a few winks of it before the parade tomorrow morning. Why are you outside of the tower, though?”

This was the best spot for testing out his experiments when he went outside, because the opening was larger than on the other side of the lair. But, he was more concerned about what she’d said before that. “Should you be driving, if you’re this tired? I mean… You could just crash here and meet your folks in the morning, right? Or at least take a nap or something before you go?”

“It sounds like you’re worried,” she said amused.

“You’re the only thing that keeps my housemate and I from battling to his death,” he joked. “But, seriously, it’s dangerous, not just to yourself, but to others on the road.”

“I don’t have much of a choice. Captain Man and Kid Danger didn’t finish their assignment until a few minutes ago, and I can’t sleep in my day stench and old clothes. Gross.”

He sighed, frustrated, but forced a smile that she could see perfectly, even with just a few lanterns and the moonlight. “How about this? Tonight, I can lend you overnight clothes and my shower and stuff and the next time you come around, be sure to have a weekend bag, in case your shift goes too long.”

“Max, I could’ve inconvenienced Henry this way, but I’m not gonna do that to you.”

“It’s not an inconvenience. I’m gonna be way more inconvenienced by wondering if you and the other people on the road made it home safely when I should be testing out this awesome new hoverboard. And Henry? Don’t make me laugh. I feel like I can confidently assume that you wouldn’t be caught dead using his bath products.”

“He uses the same soap for everything.”

“There’s a special place for people like that,” Max said.

She sighed. She really didn’t want to make that drive. “Well… if you’re offering, it’d be rude of me to decline, especially since you’ve made such valid points. But, first thing’s first, lets see what’s so special about this hoverboard.”

Max LOVED when Charlotte was around for one of his inventions. She was one of the few people who he felt genuinely was curious, interested, and impressed by them from the moment she first heard about or saw them. He explained to her about the issues that previous hoverboards ran into and how he made this one with adjustments to those problems and also what he added to make it even better. She totally understood. Whenever he got on it to test it, it took off way faster than she expected and she gasped, but then laughed with excitement at how fluid he seemed on it, even when he did tricks and stuff. Like… WOW. She knew he was athletic, but dang… Ugh… He looked so cool doing stuff on that expert equipment. He pulled back in next to her, kicked an end of it as he leapt off and caught it and placed it under his arm. “I’m gonna be bringing this baby into battle with me. Can you imagine me fighting someone with the aid of this?” He was truly excited, and she was too.

“I can imagine it. I am imagining it, and I will download and save any Hero Tracks that capture it…” He put his free hand in the small of her back and walked her back towards the front entrance.

That night, she realized that his provisions were DEFINITELY more reflective of his work than she would’ve imagined. When you first entered his chambers, there was a long hallway and she noticed that he was deactivating stuff as they walked it, casually speaking and flicking his fingers. So, the lead up must’ve had some great security. Then, they came to what looked like an elevator and he moved his fingers, like he was pressing a code, but of course, didn’t need to actually touch the keys to do so. She worried. Was this going to be like Ray’s elevator? Because she wasn’t sure her head could handle it. But, when it opened, he opened a trap door in the floor and said, “Okay… This slide is really intense. You want me to hang on to you?”

“What? Slide?” She laughed. He sat down and reached for her. “Dear God…” She didn’t know what to pray as she climbed onto his lap and he smiled mischievously before pushing them off with one hand and holding on to her with the other. She. Screamed. This… might have been WORSE than Ray’s elevator. It was like one of those super slides from a water park, but no water and a terrifying drop down. Whenever they came out on the other end, they were practically shot out of the tunnel and floated for a moment as the gravity level of the room accommodated their safety. Her screams should have woken up the entire neighborhood. His laughter was a little bit louder, though. Then, they were released onto a landing pad. He smiled at her as she caught her breath.

“I… That was… Really fun!” She cackled and covered her face. “Oh my God. Is this how you always come home?”

“Usually I cross my arms across my chest like an X, slide down like a boss and control my own landing, but the slide sensed another body and tripped the gravity field control.” Now, she got up and looked around. She never thought that she would be here. He wasn’t a very open person and this was his most private space. It was very dark and mysterious, but also… not creepy, weird, or scary. More like… deep and tranquil. She explored, and to her pleasant surprise, he didn’t stop her. He let her meet his current Venus fly trap, showed her a few gadgets that he was currently working on, and such, and warned her which things to be careful around, because they were either weapons in disguise or guarded possessions with safety systems attached or nearby.

“How do you never accidentally set things off yourself?”

“Gifted, I guess,” he said, grabbing a onesie for her. “Here,” he said and tossed it to her.

“Why do you have a bunny onesie?” She asked, chuckling.

“I can’t wanna be cute and cuddly sometimes?” He gave her a washcloth and a drying towel and said, “Soap and stuff’s in there. Nothing hazardous. The one place that’s completely harmless.”

Charlotte stepped in and asked out loud, “What did they give him the prefect’s bathroom?” She studied the bathtub… She wasn’t really a bath person, but the stuff that was there for a nice long soak might be good for her, and she could always get into the shower afterwards, which there was a little walkway with drains leading to. She went to look at the shower. It had what seemed to be music settings, steam settings, aromatherapy… This bathroom was like… she didn’t want to leave it, to be honest. Henry’s bathroom had your traditional two in one bath/shower and the tub wasn’t even half as big as Max’s. Also… while he just had a toilet, Max also had a bidet! She was gonna have to light a fire under Henry. He would have to work his chops off if he wanted to get some good funding. He probably couldn’t really catch up to Max, but he could maybe at least upgrade a little. “You okay? I don’t hear anything…” Max called from the other side of the door.

“I am fangirling over your amazing bathroom, if that’s okay?”

He laughed. “Carry on. Also… The bathtub has a hot tub setting. If you need it.”

“Oh my God, can I come work for you, instead?” She joked.

“I don’t need any staff, but if you just wanna use my bathroom sometimes, I can grant you an access code.”

And he did! She didn’t tell Henry and Jasper, because, well… it wasn’t their business. And whenever she got up in the morning, having slept in Max’s bed, he was asleep on the landing pad beneath his slide with a sleeping mask on. She wasn’t sure that morning how to get out of the place, so she unfortunately had to wake him up. He ripped off his sleeping mask, alert and practically ready to fight, until he saw her. “Oh… Hey… Morning.”

“Sorry. I don’t know how to get back to the surface.”

He pointed to a door that looked yet again like an elevator, but whenever she opened it, it was an escalator. Okay. She got on, thanked him and left. He dragged himself into bed and laid down. His pillow smelled like her hair. He couldn’t help but to smile about that. He hugged it close and kinda wished it was her. He could’ve possibly made a move last night, but… then she might have thought that he was only nice to her for that. He didn’t want to scare her or make her distrust him. Besides, it was cool kinda building a friendship with her. They didn’t HAVE to be more… Probably wouldn’t be.

.

But, whatever they were, Henry knew that Charlotte had some type of… power in this house. Power that he didn’t seem to have. “Char… You think that you could get Max to agree to some more living room time?”

“I’m not his housemate, Hen. You are.”

“I know, but he likes you, though.”

Her face got warm, “What? No he doesn’t! I mean, we respect each other. We have a sort of rapport that we’ve managed to develop. But, that’s it. Besides, I told you which of those tower rooms you can make into a wonderful living room within your chambers.”

“Yeah, but I don’t have the SAL swag that is in our shared living room.”

“Technically… That stuff belongs to both of you, or it’d be in Max’s chambers. Believe me, his space is SUPER luxurious.”

“You’ve… been in there?” Henry asked, shocked. “This is what I mean! He let you into his chambers. He would never let me or Jasper in there… Maybe he does like you.”

“God, Henry, not everybody is like you. Some people can just be nice because you’re friends, colleagues, or kindred souls. You don’t have to like everybody that you’re nice to!”

“You’re acting so weird about this. Can you please just get me the living room for the last weekend of this month slash first weekend of next month for a videogame tournament?”

“Ohhhh… He’s having that here, with his friends. You can probably come.” She laughed and waved a hand, “You live here. Of course you can come!”

“His friends? He… Has friends?” Henry said.

“The guys from his high school band, Billy and Nora, and maybe Phoebe? I can’t remember who all was tagged in the post.”

“He… You were tagged in a post invited here, where I live, and I wasn’t even so much as spoken to about it?”

“I didn’t think to…”

“I have to try to get a new housemate,” Henry said, shaking his head.

“Henry…”

“No. I don’t care that in the past couple of weeks he’s become your buddy or whatever is happening there. I work hard too and he can’t treat me like an unwanted guest in my own lair that I share with him.”

“I’m just going to tell you that if you file for a transfer, it’s a lot of paperwork and they ask you to try a number of roommate reconciliation tasks and morale building before they determine that indeed you can’t live with the person that they placed you with. He can’t be that bad, Henry.”

“He is, though. He’s the absolute worst. I’d rather live with Ray.”

“Shameless lie, huh?”

“It felt differently before I actually said it.”

“Tell you what… I will talk to him and if he doesn’t care, then we start looking into some of the SAL reconciliation tasks.” Henry gave Charlotte a big hug, lifting her off of the ground and kissed her hard on the cheek.

“You’re the best, Char!”

“Yeah, every time you need something,” she teased and gave him a shove.

[davidmann95]

John Wick Livetweet Transcript

Spoilers, clearly

(With a couple minor spelling corrections and slight editing for clarity and to suit my usual format on here)

Tonight, with the intent of watching part 2 tomorrow and the new one on the big screen next weekend, I'm finally gonna watch the movie where the mob kills Keanu Reeves' dog and therefore Keanu Reeves must kill the entire mob.

I know 3 things about John Wick besides the premise: 1. He is not the boogeyman, he is the one you send to kill him. 2. There's a bit where he syncs his gunshots in a club with the music to go undetected. 3. Someone asks if he is back and he confirms that he is, in fact, back.

Extremely looking forward to an old dude probably muttering "Baba Yaga" in horrified awe right before Keanu Reeves shoots him in the face.

The opening radio narration is talking about a storm having passed, I assume in symbolic reference to John Wick no longer destroying fools post-retirement. LITTLE DO THEY KNOW.

Holy cow, I thought that mysterious figure in the shadows had something of a Williem Dafoe-esque shape to his jawline, I didn't know it was actually gonna be him

Still basically the opening and Reeves is doing some damn *acting*

Laughing out loud at the cereal bit

Oh shit, this music is WAY too loud and angry for it not to be the fools who are gonna kill the dog

Nice

Wait, WHAT? Is John Wick gonna be a pilot?

No, they just let him angrily drift all over the airfield all day, which makes sense because if he asked if he could there is no way they would say no. Bet he saved the boss’s family or something and he got a lifetime pass.

He and the dog have too much chemistry, they should have just maimed it so it could come back in the finale to help kill everyone

The sound design here is fantastically brutal, and I love the recurring jagged, unnaturalistic visual storytelling as he’s overcome by grief.

Ghhaaa the collar, ghaaa him scrubbing the floor so gently as he’s containing his rage

After all that he *thinks* he’ll keep the car, watching this dude be annihilated is going to be AMAZING

John Wick you clearly live in an extremely upscale neighborhood, how did you acquire public transportation while covered in blood

This car dude is AMAZING, at first because of his reaction when he realizes exactly what’s going to happen and then him cold not giving a shit. I understand already why people talk about these movies having amazing walk-on side characters.

“...oh.”

Who’s Viggo’s right hand man? Swear I recognize him, is he he dude who plays Chaos or Bad Luck or whatever it is in those insurance commercials, plus probably substantially bigger roles that are what I should be remembering?

Impressive framing with how Viggo is immediately visibly freaked out and in over his head yet still palpably a figure of Power and Menace.

BABA YAGA

The intensity of the hammering in sync with what part of the story is being told, so so good

Okay, how did he think that call was going to go

This dress-up scene is very aesthetically pleasing

Baba Yaga

Okay, that first fight slapped and made me absolutely believe this man has a preternatural capacity for violence after a half hour of understandable sadness, but the doorbell and what immediately followed was so much better

Everything looks and sounds and feels so smooth, and I do mean that on a sensory level. Like, this is a physically pleasant movie to watch.

Willem Dafoe’s got a whole thing with looming ominously in the foreground going on here, huh

This movie is killer with organically implied history, down to this latest little snarl of “Perkins”

I wonder how much of what we’ll never see has actually been worked out by the writers and actors, and how much is simply “He’s John Wick, Shit Happened”.

Lovin’ the sinister jazz

Dammit, Perkins is so gonna try and violate the rules of the Continental and thereby incur a *heavy* penalty

Ah, nevermind (for now), and whatzisface is a good egg

Surprise surprise, I absolutely thought he was just gonna use a coin to cut in line

Cackling at “Hello, Francis.” He knows EVERYONE. Honestly not surprised he was able to open up and find true love, John Wick has clearly always been incredibly sociable.

Gotta go on hold for a bit to allow buffering, but jeez,  why didn’t culture at large spend the last 5 years telling me I should watch this?

I’m back, as is John Wick even if he hasn’t dramatically declared it yet.

I’m pretty sure the intensity with which Keanu Reeves stared into that one mook’s eyes as he bled out did more to kill him than the knife.

The MOMENT Wick and the brat lock eyes and the latter finally grasps the gravity of the situation.

These partygoers are just beautifully out of it, and also beautiful: this doomed fool’s mustache.

Think I hit the shot-syncing, even better was him exasperatedly reloading to kill the guy.

That tiny bit of blood splatter on the camera for a second

Surprisingly, mustache guy’s undoing was actually his beard!

Wick yelling not really because he’s been shot but because the guy got away meaning this whole night was a bust, right before going back into it.

Love me a good ominous declaration by a protagonist over the phone.

I don’t know the murder hotel etiquette and perhaps they have history too, but I really feel like John should be thanking the guy behind the counter for his excellent service at this point.

I knew it!

There’s a clear demarcation between how John Wick’s essentially superhuman and what he’s merely very good at, and that is not going in his favor right now.

So much quality acting in the space of about 3 seconds of changes in facial expressions from Adrianne Palicki.

Not positive this church music will convert into a glorious orchestral violence soundtrack, but it seems like a safe enough bet.

That, uh, was not the slow burn I was anticipating. Kinda wish he’d responded to “Do you know who you’re FUCKING with?” with “Yeah, some motherfucker who’s not John Wick.”

Literally repressed a squeal at “Uh-huh.”

Failed entirely to suppress a laugh at “Have a nice day.”

PriiiIIIIIceless!!!!!!!

Quality villain speech, but same as with the phone call: what response exactly was he expecting?

Putting the subtitles on Baba Yaga at this point is basically a Claremontism.

HE’S BACK

Owowowowowbitingow

Aw, cool it, John.

Well, that was as satisfying as could have been hoped for, but how are there 25 minutes left?

Glad he finally said thank you.

Ah, that’s how.

Between lingering on Dafoe taking his off and how Wick wears his, wondering if watches are gonna be a thing for the end here or in the next one.

Perkins’ little silent ‘oohhhh’.

The Ominous Foreground Energy has transferred to his vanquisher.

By thine own hhaaaand

Harry’s back! I like Harry, seems real salt-of-the-Earth.

Viggo finally realizing whose movie he’s in

He’s basically using the car as goddamn body armor and the lackey is still trying to make a plan

You gotta be kiddin’ me with where he’s getting these medical supplies. Not at all a complaint, but wow.

He looks so frustrated by his own pain more than agonized.

And credits are rolling, folks! This has been a journey.

My big thought: the big villain speech about John is right, but not in the way Viggo thinks. He hasn’t changed, but that’s because his capacity for being a (by the standards of his profession) decent dude was always in there.

He’d be dead or stymied a dozen times over in here if not for the connections he built up over the years before we or likely even his wife met him, and half the time they’re willing to break the *strictly* enforced rules or go against their own interests to help him.

He’s not a monster who found and lost redemption, he’s a dude who just incredibly, unstoppably Gives A Shit, who for a time found something better to devote that to. And even now those around him respond to that and respect that.

Not that that might not lead him into ruin, but everything we see and all the ripple effects of what we don’t tell us that this is who he’s always been, in ways good and bad, and that’s what saves and damns him.

Also I’m pretty sure the lady who dropped off the dog at the beginning is literally the only character who speaks so much as a single line (other than a few yelling in a fight) who doesn’t have a visible personality. Everyone is someone in this baby.

Thinking when I watch 2 I’ll just react to that after the fact, so I’ll leave it here for now.

[deamstellarus]

A Touch of Ink (5)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Date Attempt #2

Word Count: 4604

Warnings: Uhm, fluff and some maybe intense-ish (not really) kissing?

A/N: I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know how I feel about this chapter. I rambled a bit and some parts aren’t really necessary but it is what it is I suppose. Next chapter will be super fluffy though!

Series Masterlist | Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4

Chapter 5:

“I should probably get going soon,” you said, still straddling his lap with your head lying on his shoulder. “You probably have an early morning.”

He hugged you to him a little tighter then relaxed his hold on you. This close you could see the shades of blue that made up his eyes, the ring of navy that outline his irises, the flecks of grey with tiny specks of green. You could get lost in them. He leaned forward and kissed your cheek.

“Thank you, for going with the change of plans,” he smiled. “How about we try again next week? I mean, how quickly could Becs be sick again right?” He chuckled.

“That’s true. But really, it’s not a big deal, Buck.” You kiss him on the nose, then got off of him and the couch to stand. You adjusted your shirt while Bucky stood up. You grabbed your keys and phone off the counter before turning back to him. He stood by the door with his hands in his pockets, head down with a hint of a smile on his face. You walked back to him.

“I'll see you tomorrow, maybe?” you asked. His head popped up.

“Yeah, of course. I'll text you...or call you. Whichever you prefer.” You couldn't help but giggle at his nervousness.

“I'll see you tomorrow then.” He wrapped his arms around you for the second time that night, and pulled you into his embrace. A few moments later, he reluctantly released you and opened the door. You gave him one last smile before slipping through and heading for the stairwell, hearing the door close behind you.

As you walked down the hall, you ran into a wall of muscle. You looked up into the face of Steve, who seemed exhausted.

“Sorry, Steve. Didn't see you there. Long day?”

“Yeah, it’s been- wait, weren’t you supposed to have a date with Bucky tonight?” You couldn’t stop the smile on your face when you nodded. “Well, that’s great!”

Steve pulled you into a side hug before he yawned and practically unhinged his jaw. You laughed.

“Get some sleep Steve.” You gave him a little push toward his door. “Have a good night.”

You unlocked your own door, and once inside, leaned against it. Your mind ran through the “date” and you couldn’t help but smile. You loved everything about it. Unconventional first date, sure, but Bucky is wonderful and Noah is adorable and you honestly couldn’t wait for your next date.

You went to bed with a smile on your face.

“Y/N! I’m so sorry your date had to be cancelled the other day!” Becca caught you the moment you walked into the bookstore. “I was just so sick on Wednesday. It’s not his fault. You should give him another cha-”

“Becca, calm down,” you interrupted. “We still had our date. It was just a date for three instead of two.”

“Oh. Oh.” Becca’s eyes were wide. “Well that’s...that’s really great, Y/N. How was it?”

“It was really nice. Bucky cooked. We had lasagna, and afterward we played with Noah and watched a kids’ movie before Noah went to bed. It was all very sweet.”

“Aww! And after Noah went to bed?” Becca quirked an eyebrow at you.

“We talked. Mostly about our pasts. I learned about Dot? She seemed amazing.”

“She was.” Becca said, a distant look in her eye.

“He told me how she died… and how her family treats him and Noah.”

Since that night, you couldn't help but be heartbroken, not only for Bucky, but for Noah. He's so young, and to have a family that will not put aside differences to visit him is so sad. Luckily, he has a good family here, made up of members of this quiet little town.

“They're...something else.” Becca shook her head to clear it. “Well I'm glad you had a good time. Are you seeing each other again soon?”

“Yup! We talked about trying again next week? And meeting up when we can before that.”

“I knew you'd be perfect together!” Becca gushed.

“Slow down there. We’re not officially together or anything. I think we're taking it slow? Just dating for now.”

“But you like him?” she asked. The warmth had returned to your cheeks.

“Yeah, I like him. I really do.” Becca grinned at you.

“So are you in for coffee or books today?” You’d almost forgotten why you were at the Hideout in the first place.

“I’m actually here for a little research. I’m trying to find books about fantasy and myths?”

“Oh? What are you doing that requires that kind of research?”

“It’s for a project I’m working on. I could just as easily look up references and whatnot on the internet, but I like to find books on the topics sometimes. A bit of history to get a better understanding of the subject.”

“Huh. Whelp, the selection is kind of small, but it would be this way. Follow me.” Becca came around out from behind the counter and you followed her down one of the aisles. She stopped abruptly in the middle of a bookcase. “These top three rows are pretty much all we have on folklore and fantasy and myths, that aren’t exclusively in the children’s section.

“That’s alright. Thanks so much Becca!” She left and you browsed through the selection until you found a large book with a red spine. Fairy Tales, Folk Lores, and Myths: The Guide to Another Realm.  Huh. Pretty cheesy title, but as you flipped through the pages, there were visual references as well as elaborate stories and tales about magic, adventure, and love. You didn’t know how long you were sat on the floor thumbing through the pages until someone startled you. Becca giggled.  

“Sorry! I’m going to grab some lunch, so I’m going to close the store for a bit. Want to come with me?”

“Lunch?” You checked at your phone for the time and realized it was already past noon. “Oh wow, I didn’t think I’d been here that long. Sure, I probably should eat something before I starve.”

“Sam never said you were dramatic.”

“That’s because he’s always been the bigger drama queen and he knows it.” She held out a hand to help you off the floor, and your bones ached as you stood up. Your muscles were sore. “Wow, remind me not to do that again,” you laughed.

“Sure thing. Come on.”

The two of you went over to Tony’s, where Wanda was your waitress. She practically squealed when you came in.

“Oh! How was the date? Give me all the details! Don’t leave anything out! Please? Aren’t we friends, Y/N?” She pouted with the biggest green puppy eyes you’d ever seen.

“Yes, fine, sure.” You laughed at Wanda took a seat next to Becca in the booth. “Well, it was nice. Bucky cooked dinner, and it was delicious. Then we watched a kids’ movie and played with Noah until it was his bedtime. And then we talked. About our pasts and whatnot. And then we kissed.”

“What?” both exclaimed simultaneously.

“What do you mean you played with Noah until bedtime? I thought Becca was babysitting him?” Wanda said, leaning forward and pouting in frustration.

“She was really sick, and he couldn’t find another babysitter on such short notice.”

“And you were okay with that?”

“Honestly? Yeah. I like Noah a lot and he’s not rowdy or obnoxious. He’s sweet and loves his dad. It was a nice dinner.”

“You didn’t tell me you kissed, Y/N,” Becca said, her face unreadable.

“Sorry. Is that a problem?”

“Um, not really? It’s more surprising than anything else. Bucky hasn’t kissed anyone since Dot.” Your eyes went wide at that. “He’s been on dates before but they never went very far, and certainly didn’t generate enough chemistry to kiss.”

“Oh. Well, I don’t know. In the moment, it just felt right. I really like him, guys.” They had matching soft eyes and smiles on their faces.

“That’s great, Y/N. I think Bucky really likes you too,” Becca said as she reached across the tale and put a hand over yours.

“Yeah, it’s pretty obvious with the way he makes heart eyes at you,” Wanda giggled. Becca checked her watch.

“Hey, let’s order something. I have to get back to the shop soon.” You both ordered and soon your food arrived. Halfway through your meal, Becca placed a to-go order. You looked at her questioningly.

“This is for Bucky. I usually bring him lunch on Fridays and he brings me lunch on Mondays. We’ve done this since he started at Black Widow, when he forgot to bring food and he was super busy one Friday afternoon, so like the perfect sister I am,” you rolled your eyes at that, “I brought him lunch. The following Monday, I was really grumpy because it was raining and I had a headache and he saw me through the window looking otherwise... pathetic, I’ll admit it. I hate Mondays and the rain just messes with my mood. Anyway, he saw me and brought me lunch and it did cheer me up, and the habit kind of just stuck.”

“That’s really sweet, Becs.”

“Yeah, yeah. Well I love him. We were really close as kids, even when he started highschool and I was still in 4th grade. He never really excluded me and let me join him and his friends when they played football and stuff in the backyard, and let me come with them when they went out to get ice cream during the summer. We’ve always been close. Me and Steve too, to be honest. They’ve been best friends since they were in diapers, and I basically grew up with him too. It’s like I have a second brother.” She rolled her eyes at the grin on your face. “Anyway, let’s get going. He’s probably starving. It’s a tad later than I usually drop off his food.”

The two of you went to the counter and paid for your food, then headed across the street to the tattoo shop. On the way there though, an older woman stopped Becca, frantic about how some book on crocheting plush toys lied to her or something and she needed a new gift for her grandson. Becca tried to calm her down, but it wasn’t an easy feat.

“Hey Y/N, will you run this in to Buck? I gotta go help Mrs. Mugillicutty before she has a heart attack,” Becca said, handing you over the bag of food. Without waiting for a response, she left you to calm down the old women.

“Sure Becs, no problem,” you muttered under your breath. You stopped in front of the shop. You couldn’t see Bucky from the window. He must be in the back or something. There didn’t appear to be anyone else was there but Bucky would be expecting Becca to bring him lunch, right? You steeled your nerves that came out of nowhere and pushed open the shop door. A little bell overhead rang out as you entered.

“I’ll be with you in a minute!” A voice from the back called out.

You took the opportunity to wander around the tattoo parlor. There was a sitting area in the front that consisted of a couch and a couple chairs, and a coffee table with magazines. The front desk had a big binder flipped open to a couple elaborate tattoo designs. As you got closer, you heard...snoring? You peaked your head behind the desk and were greeted with the sleepy face of a yellow lab. He reminded you of your family dog back home. Ahead of your were two tattoo stations with chairs that reminded you of a dentist seat. At the station you saw Bucky at that first night, there were papers with hand-drawn designs on a corkboard on the wall. You took a step closer to the drawings when one caught your eye. It was one of the few that was drawn with ink instead of graphite. It was a mandala, but it was formed out of flower petals compared to the geometric shapes you’ve seen before.

“Hey, Becs. Sorry, I wa-.” Bucky stopped mid-sentence. The grin on his face when he saw you initiated the butterflies in your stomach. “Y/N! What are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you.”

“Hi. I uhm… Becca! She sent me over with this.” You handed him the bag from Tony’s and watched as his eyes lit up.

“Oh my gosh. Thanks! I’m starving. Noah was slow getting up this morning and I barely got him out the door with breakfast, but I didn’t have any time to eat something myself..”

“Oh, well I’m happy I could bring it over.”

“I’m happy to see you again.” He set the bag down on the stool at his station, then turned back to you, reaching out to hold your hand. “I had a good time the other night.”

“Me too.” You couldn’t stop the smile on your face.

“Honestly, I don’t want to wait until Wednesday to see you again. How about tomorrow night? My parents could probably watch Noah. What do you say?” You were almost distracted by the twinkle in his eye.

“Tomorrow is perfect.”

“Great!” He pulled you into him and kissed your forehead, just as you heard the bell over the door ring.

“Hey! Get a room!” Clint said, walking in with Natasha. He went over to the dog you’d seen earlier, with a small to-go bag in his hand. The dog got up and his tail wagged like crazy. Clint pulled a slice of pizza out of the bag, holding in front of the dog’s face for a moment before it was snatched out of his hand. The dog went back to the dog bed and happily chewed on the pizza.

“Is that good for him?” you asked.

“Who, Lucky? Lucky loves pizza. It’s how I found him, by the harbour, eating pizza from an abandoned box behind the pizzeria.

“Huh. He’s cute,” you said, slightly concerned for his eating habits, but he seemed happy and content so who were you to judge.

“Oh he’s the best!”

“What brings you here?” Natasha said.

“Oh! Just brought him lunch, from Becca.” Natasha hummed in response then turned and headed to the back of the store..

“I don’t think she likes me very much,” you whispered to Bucky. He laughed in response.

“She’s like that to most people. She’s actually pretty nice, and fiercely loyal. She just comes off a bit rough. If she didn’t like you, you’d know it.”

Oh. “Okay, well I’ll let you get back to lunch and work!” You went on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

“See you tomorrow, Y/N.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow!”

“So what do you think?”

“This place is beautiful in the moonlight.”

You and Bucky were walking hand in hand down the boardwalk. You’d just had dinner at a little restaurant by the harbour. The dinner was nice, but the company was better. Bucky’s hand found yours multiple times throughout the night and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d laughed so much. He insisted on paying the bill when it came, but when he suggested getting ice cream on the boardwalk afterward, you slipped the cashier the money before he could. “Fair is Fair,” you’d told him. With ice cream in hand, the two of you strolled by the boats in the harbour, looking out at the water. The waves were smaller than when you’d seen them in the daytime and the water seemed to be glittering.

“I can’t believe you grew up with this just outside your door. Well, essentially.” Bucky chuckled.

“Yeah, it was great. Becca and I rode out on my dad’s boat practically every other weekend.” His thumb drew circles on your hand as he held it. “I could take you out on the water sometime if you’d like.”

“Really? That’d be amazing!”

You stood at the end of the dock by the lighthouse for a while until a breeze blew by, causing a shiver to run up your spine. Bucky noticed and shrugged off his leather jacket, placing it on your shoulders. You slipped your arms into the sleeves and were instantly surrounded by the smell of leather, sandalwood, and… Bucky. You burrowed yourself into the jacket as much as you could, savoring the warmth. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

“Let’s get you back home. It’s pretty chilly out here.”

When you arrived back at your apartment building, you waited for the elevator to come down to the first floor.

“I’m not ready for the night to end just yet,” you said, gazing up into his eyes.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Uhm.. do you want to come back to my place? I have some wine and beer, or coffee and tea, if you’d like.” You hoped you didn’t sound too eager.

“Yes!” He blurted. He coughed, clearing his throat. “I mean, yeah, that’d be great.” Once inside your apartment, you told him to make himself at home. “What would you like to drink?”

“You don’t have to make anything special for me, just whatever you’re having.”

When you came back into the living room, Bucky was looking at the pictures on your wall. There was a photograph of you and Sam from when you were about four and Sam was seven, posing in your Halloween costumes. You’d gone as Minnie and Mickey that year for the annual Halloween party your mom throws. You handed him the bug of tea and he thanked you.

“You were adorable!”

“Were? Am I not adorable now?” You quipped back, quirking your eyebrow at him. Bucky’s eyes went wide, and his mouth opened and closed several times like a fish.

“I’m just kidding Bucky. I’ll admit, Sammy and I were pretty cute kids,” you said, taking a seat on the couch.

“I’d say you’re pretty cute now,” he said as he sat next to you. He put his mug on the coffee table and placed his arm on the back of the couch behind you. You took a tip of your tea, then set your mug on the coffee table.

“Well aren’t you sweet.”

He glanced at your lips before looking back into your eyes. Before you knew it, you were leaning into each other and your lips connected. His lips were warm, much like the first time you’d kissed a few days earlier. Unlike the first time though, this kiss was thorough and you melted into it. You cupped his face with your hands, fingers grazing the scruff on his face. His arms went around your waist, holding you to him. His strong hands lifted you from your position beside him to seat you on his lap, legs straddling his thighs. A position you noticed he prefered. His fingers gripped your hips, not too tight to leave a mark, but enough to let him feel in control. You pulled away for a second, gasping for breath as you remembered you had to breathe. You rested your forehead to his, peeking at his closed eyes. You held onto his shoulders as he let go of you and leaned forward to take off his button up and throw it over the arm of the couch, which left him in a dark t-shirt that showed off his tattoos. His eyes finally met yours again and you could see some hesitance of what you were doing. You ran a hand through his chestnut hair.

“We can just keep doing this, we don’t have to go any further. This is plenty for now, alright?” You kissed his cheek. “Is this okay?” you whispered, hoping that you hadn’t crossed some line or pushed him too far.

He nodded, grinning back at you. “More than okay.”

You bent your head down and he reached up, his lips captured your once again.

“Have you ever thought of getting one?”

You were lying together on your couch, your head on his chest. His arm was around you, his thumb drawing circles onto your side through your shirt.

“One what?” you asked, tilting your head up to see his face.

“A tattoo. When I found you in the shop yesterday, you were looking at some of the designs I’ve done for people. Have you ever thought of getting one yourself?

“To be honest, I have, once or twice. But I’m too scared. Not of needles or anything, just the pain. My tolerance is not the highest and I bruise easy.” Bucky hummed at your response. “But I have imagined getting something that was drawn for me, you know? Like a unique piece that had a meaning behind it or connected me to someone.” You shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe someday I’ll get something.”

“Well, when you do decide to get one, I’d be thrilled to do the honors.”

“I wouldn’t want anyone else to do it.” You pulled his arm around you a bit more to get a closer look at the images.

“If you wanted to see them, you could've just asked.” He laughed softly.

He turned in his spot, holding you by your arms to sit you up with him. He took off the t-shirt he was wearing and you gasped slightly at his bare skin. You reached out and lightly traced the edge of where the sleeve began at the top of his shoulder. A green and red dragon curled its way down half the length of Bucky’s arm, with its curved neck at his shoulder. The skin there was a little bumpy compared to the smoothness a couple inches underneath it.

“That's part of the scar. When I decided I wanted something to cover the scars, I told Stevie I wanted something that would cover a large majority in one go. He came back a couple days later with the dragon. He’d really gotten into art history in high school and drew in all different styles he read about on the internet. I guess the dragon was something that stuck in his mind because it ended up working perfectly and Nat did a great job.”

On the underside of his forearm, a set of three red roses bloomed on his skin, textured and made to appear real. You traced your fingertips around the green leaves filling out the empty spaces.

“Roses were Dot’s favorite. She used to say, ‘I know they’re overrated but they smell so nice.’ It seemed like a less cheesy way to remember her, you know?” You hummed in agreement.

On the inside of his bicep, just below the dragon’s head, was the phrase, “‘Till the end of the line,” written in a pretty script that contrasted with the other colorful designs on his skin.

“It's something Steve and I used to say to each other. It meant that we’d always have each others’ backs. You wouldn't believe me, looking at him now, but Steve was a tiny kid and got picked on a lot by the older kids, and stuck up for others who got bullied. They'd knock him down and he’d get right back up again with bruises already forming and a cut lip. So I'd jump in because he's my best friend and I can't let him get beat up alone. Then when we both joined the firehouse, it meant even more in the field. Steve has a matching one on his right bicep actually. It was one of the first tattoos I ever did, but it’s technically Steve’s handwriting.”

“‘Till the end of the line.’ I like that. Feels nostalgic somehow,” you said. “Can’t really imagine Steve as anything close to tiny though.”

You turned his arm over to look at the last tattoo that took up the majority of the front of his forearm. It was of ocean waves, rough and choppy with a lighthouse in the background.

“This one isn’t as sentimental as the others. I’ve always loved the water though, I grew up on it, so I like having it permanently a part of me. The lighthouse though is the same one down by the harbor. Lights the way home, my dad would say. Stevie drew something similar to this one day and I knew I wanted it on my arm.”

“Wow, it seems like Steve has drawn most of your tattoos.”

“Well he is the better artist. He’s been drawing as long as I could remember. There used to be a time where you couldn’t find him without his sketchbook nearby.”

“Well, I appreciate his artistic eye,” you said. You laid back down on the couch together, your body snuggled into his side. In the silence, with your head on his chest, you could hear his heart beating fast.

“Do they bother you? The tattoos, or even the scars?” When you glanced at him, you could tell he was nervous about your answer.

“I think they're all beautiful, James. I think anyone who thinks differently is wrong,” you whispered, not wanting to break the comfortable quiet you were in. You caressed his chest absent-mindedly.

“I haven’t really dated since the accident,” Bucky said. “Nat and Stevie have tried to set me up with people before. To “get back out there” they said, but it never worked out. I would go out on the date, usually meeting them at Tony’s but by halfway through dinner, I’d want to leave. I found myself comparing them to Dot, their personalities, how they laughed, what they looked like, what their interests were. Sometimes, they’d see the tattoos and would judge me, not openly talking about them, but they’d eye the bits of ink peeking out from my shirtsleeve and a look of disgust would flash across their face before they corrected it. And then there’s the fact that I have Noah, and what young person wants to be in a relationship with a man who already has a son? By the end of the night... I would feel awful. I would feel like I wasted their time, and mine…” He took a deep breath, but when he exhaled, it was shaky. “The worst part was that I felt like I was cheating on Dot. Like what I was doing, dating other people, was seen as trying to replace her.”

“Oh James…” You stroked the side of his neck.

“She was the love of my life, the mother of my son. I felt like I was...was disgracing her memory or something.”

His arms around your waist tensed for a moment before they loosened. You leaned back in his hold to look up at his face. His hand went to your cheek, thumb absently brushing your skin as he stared into your eyes.

“But then I met you. Well, heard about you first, briefly, from an energetic six year old.” He chuckled. “But when I first met you at the Hideout? I think I even surprised myself that day how at ease I  was and comfortable I felt around you.” He leaned forward and kissed your forehead. “I don’t want to scare you, or put too much on you...I know I have a lot of baggage...but I like you. And I think you like me too.” You rolled your eyes at that but smiled at him. “I don't want to rush into things, but I’d really like to see where this goes. I guess what I’m trying to say is, will you be my girl?”

[Chapter 6]

[movedto-mementomoreeyes]

so i saw newsies twice this weekend at my local community college

these are some important things from each show

first of all their jack looked exactly like jerjor?? he was so good

like when i first saw him i was like Huh is that baby jeremy jordan? little teenage jerjor?

anyway crutchie was also very cute he had a pretty face and fluffy brown hair and fuck my uwus

they kinda rushed their lines throughout but it was all kids and not like a Pro Production so,, i’m lettin em off the hook for tht

the santa fe prologue was so,, pretty and lyrical just like in the soundtrack i was yellin

also this is when i’ll note there’s two string players in the pit and the violin is my orchestra teacher at school so i got to say “YOU SUCK” when i saw her at intermission before raving abt how AMAZING SHE IS LIKE DUDE SHE’S THE ONLY VIOLIN OUT OF TWELVE PEOPLE AND SHE CARRIED SO WELL

race was so short?? he was very short and very chaotic

also he wore a big red flannel and i was like “thts definitely not his” and i’ll get to this again later

albert was also very short and had a higher voice (race’s was surprisingly deep) and i was ,, he’s so cute albert was very cute

ALSO SPECS WAS A GIRL. SHE WAS THE BEST CAST MEMBER.

race: chatting w specs from another part of the lodging tower thing // albert: sneaks the cigar from race’s back pocket // race, whipping around: HEY TH

carrying the banner had so much! energy! and they did a bit of the original choreo from the live recording it was rlly good

there were a lot of girlsies and one of them (splasher) went to my school a while back and she was so GOOD

ALSO THEY HAD A BOOTS

katherine looked and sounded like sarah schauer and she was,, so good

romeo was very very tall like i went out after the show and i hit his shoulders (i’m 5’9”.)

so many pirouettes. so much jumping over each other.

oscar was very very tall?? and morris was rlly short i was like Whoa!

also oscar was triple cast as jacobi and the guy jack sells davey’s pape to he was so talented

“whatEVER. happened. to ROMANCE!”

crutchie was so sweet. he was so sweet.

davey was so awkward in his vest and tie and button-up

and les was so EXPRESSIVE the whole time he was so talented

they all only got like 1-2 papes each but thts bc they only had one stack to grab from so it was ok but it was funny when jack counted davey’s one pape over and over again before WHOA NEW KID’S RIGHT

i’m sayin this now. i’m so sorry to the ppl i sat beside and in front of bc i went feral through the whole thing

also i’m sorry to ethan for going feral On him bc i’d grab his hand when i got rlly excited so i didn’t Flap Flap Flap and Kick Time

pulitzer was so tall and proud and his stage presence,, wow

ALSO SEITZ WAS PLAYED BY A GIRL AND I YELLED

she and hannah were very cute and seitz’s dress was so PRETTY

pulitzer’s voice was so good,, wow

davey yellin PAPER! PAPER! EVENIN PAPE HERE! was so cute bc when he got turned down he was :0?

n then he was >:0 when jack lied and more >:0 when les lied

“our father taught us not to lie” “yeah? mine taught me not to STAHVE”

SNYDER WAS ACTUALLY SCARY HE WAS SO SO SCARY TO ME

he had this weird cape-coat thing and a cane he kept drumming his fingers on and a bowler hat

the chase scene was a lot longer than normal???

medda was white which made me :\ but she was still very talented and motherly so

my girl splasher was a bowery beauty and she hammed it up so much more than the other girls i’m sorry i had to say what’s true

that’s rich was so good and i rlly liked the set for the bowery!! it was rlly pretty

also bunsen’s role as the theatre man looked like a carnival hawker i giggled @ his pinstriped vest

katherine nearly smacked jack when she yelled DO YOU MIND??

jojo was played by a girl and she and race were doin their sirens is like lullabies to me thing and when he said “the further away from you i sleep” she punched him in the arm

RACE MISPRONOUNCED HOI POLLOI AND I DIED

also race was very confused at all the headlines i think he was being played as “can’t read counts on the others” which i love

ALSO HE TRIED COUNTING KN HIS FINGERS AND IKE HAD TO HELP HIM OUT

speaking of ike she was so pretty and expressive and she and specs (judging from their relationship portrayed in this) r in lesbians

when they were doin their lil bit before davey explaining a union crutchie seemed like he just wanted to sell papes even if it was more expensive and my heart,

“what’s a statement of PORPOISE”

race was still confused after davey explained my boy

world will know!!!! was so good!!!!!!

WHEN LES WAS YELLIN @ THE DOOR HE WAS SO ANGRY

THEY WERE ALL SO ANGRY

jacobi had a limp and he was hunched over

“we launched our strike in a most auspicious manner!” “[ad lib of what??]” “auspicious means-“ “I DUNNO ABOUT THAT. B”

also mush was also a girlsie!! she had braids and she was a cutie

race was a bit more hesitant when denying taking brooklyn??

also race got the bowery and he was like “and I. got the bowery. >:D”

KATHERINE WAS ABT TO THROW HANDS W JACK EVERY TIME HE MADE A COMMENT

watch what happens was a bit off-beat but kath’s voice was so GOOD

saturday night was better

also on the “cocky little son of a-“ line she tried to strangle the typewriter

“if you see brooklyn, then they’re with us” cue race looking into the distance with hand binoculars

seize the day!!! holy shit!!!!!!

all the scabs were girls. my uwus fell

DANCE BREAK DANCE BREAK OH MY GOD THEY FUVKING

CRUTCHIE DID GUARD SHIT W HIS CRUTCH!!! I YELLED

ALSO SPECS DID THE NEWSPAPER TURN TOMMY BOY DID IN LIVESIES AND FUCK!!!!! MY UWU SUPPLY IS DEPLETING

when they got to the cops and romeo was like THEY’RE SLAUGHTERIN US he got punched in the gut and crawled offstage and my heart. oh god

SANTA FE WAS SO RAW AND GOOD AND JACK WAS LIKE. SOBBING

and when he said “close his eyes and GO” it was more like “close his eyes and-,,,, go,,,,,,,,,” and my HEART

act two!! act two was so Good

during the ya erster bit race kept yelling YA ERSTER over and over again and everyone was like WTF DO U MEAN and eventually albert had to. RACE WHAT DO YOU MEAN. and they all yelled OYSTER at him in unison it was rlly cute

KONY WAS SO GOOD

WHEN KATH DID HER FIRST SPLIT SHE JUST DROPPED DOWN INTO A FRONT SPLIT AND MY JAW D R O P P E D

also specs’s tap solo,,, man

it went specs, then elmer, then race for the tap solos on the table and they were all so GOOD

everyone in the audience was screaming and shouting at the end and i was like EEEEE

letter from the refuge hit me like a fuckimg truck. i forgot abt it and then i saw the candle and was like oh no oh no oh no

snyder yelled @ crutchie to shut up at the end and fuck i’m not kidding when i say he scares me

watch what happens reprise was so good but davey’s voice broke on “poor GUY’S head is spinning”

it wasn’t a fluke ig he can’t hit tht in his belting voice

also when les said “and i’ve got a date!” someone said YEAH YOU DO

when seitz did her bit during bottom line reprise she hit an e5 and whoa. whoa wig

wiesel was the one tht took jack to the cellar and he was rlly rlly mean through it all and :(

OH GOD BROOKLYN!!!

BROOKLYN WAS 80% LITTLE KIDS

spot was played by an understudy and he was LITERALLY LIKE 8 AND HE WAS SO LITTLE MY HEART

THEY LIFTED HIM ON THEIR SHOULDERS AND HE GOT THE WHOLE VERSE TO HIMSELF AND I SCREAMED

I WAS GOING FUCKING FERAL OK

his stage presence was so,, intense he commanded the whole stage and i was SHOOK

saturday night he was played by a rlly cute boy and he rolled his r’s when he talked and oh god. oh god he’s cute.

and he and race were the ones that switched today so guess ypt newsies said sprace is canon

when jack and kath kissed the first time everyone was like Oh?

during something to believe in the sax squeaked and i nearly lost my shit

THEIR HARMONIES THO. JACK HAD A RIFF THT WASN’T IN THE LIVE SND I FELL TO THE FLOOR

(friday night) suspicion confirmed. at once and for all race had the flannel of i think romeo’s brooklyn boy like they switched and i was >:3!

albert was double cast as bill and mike was double cast as darcy and AAAA

the printing press was so steampunk i yelled

DURING OAFA LIKE THE LAST CHORUS THEY WERE HANDING OUT NEWSIES BANNERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS I’M GONNA TRY N GET ONE TODAY

update bc i was dressed as a newsie romeo looked at me and said “look like you already joined, huh?”, winked, and kept going i’m so,

i don’t have much to say except spot was brooding the whole time in pulitzer’s office

ALSO CRUTCHIE HIT SNYDER IN THE JUNK W HIS CRUTCH AND IT LOOKED LIKE IT HURT

specs accidentally ripped her pape at the end and oscar was like you ain’t gettin a new one and then she :(ed until he gave her a new one

I WENT FERAL DURING THE CURTAIN CALLS

also when they were all outside lined up on friday i had to kneel to b face to face w spot he was so tiny

saturdays spot was still short but not as short

SNYDER HAD A SWEET FACE BUT HE WAS STILL SCARY

but most importantly i had to tell specs she was my favourite and she just. AAAAAAAA like ME WATCHING HER

UPDATE JACK AND DAVEY GAVE ME HUGS AND RACE AND I SHOOK HANDS AND DAVEY LOOKS AND SOUNDS LIKE WILL ROLAND

that’s all folks!

[corporate-funded-selfshipping]

7 and 8 for the Sappy prompts? :D

I hope it’s okay but I combined both prompts into one so it got a bit long ahaha

"Wow I can't believe that worked" Toni watched as a landscape formed out of grey, moving blocks. Everything seemed peaceful and quiet but an uncanny background-noise that sounded like humming threw it off by just a tiny bit. It was enough to be creepy. They looked around and saw Dan not far off staring at them, he seemed a bit out of it but snapped back to 'reality' as he realized Toni looking at him. "So, that's what you look like" he said " I have to say I imagined you a little different from just hearing your voice" Toni smiled "Huh, do I look better or worse than you imagined?" they quirked a brow at Dan who just chuckled in response. 

He stepped closer to them "Are you still losing stuff in here?" he questioned, Toni looked at themselves, they had been loosing data off their own body for weeks, that was to be expected when you're just a ghost made of data in a literal sea of other data. It was barely noteable but still there, a feeling of something missing. They went silent for a minute and concentrated on themselves but the feeling was gone. "Nope, this just keeps getting better!" they jumped a bit up and down in exitement while Dan watched with a smirk "Don't get ahead of yourself now, we're still on a mission, remember?" Oh yeah, this was an interrogation after all, they were in the mind of a witness who had apparently seen a murder take place but they she's not able to speak so Dan was called. The background hum had been growing louder and both looked in the direction it came from, a small wooden door in a cabin. Behind it was complete darkness. 

Toni braced themselves to go but Dan stopped them "Before we go there, I wanna try something." he looked around, coughed awkwardly and continued "Can I touch you?" A moment of silence passed in which Toni processed that and realized he probably meant to ask if they're physically touchable in the mind of someone. "I uhh don't know..we can try?" they said. Dan raised his hand to touch their shoulder but then noticed a strand of hair, hanging into their face. Without thinking he gently brushed the strand to the side. He then noticed Toni was blushing a lot, they looked at each other without saying a word for a few seconds until a loud scream rang through the peaceful landscape. They both jumped, Dan a bit less, and noticed the door to the cabin was now wide open. Dan looked at Toni and nodded "Let's go, we wasted enough time already"-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------After the interrogation was over they drove back to his apartment-building together, 'together' being a bit of a stretch since Toni was only present by talking through Dan's 'dream eater'.

Dan was deep in thought about the interaction they had earlier. Toni broke the silence "I wonder if that also works with normal dreams" they asked themselves loudly "No idea, you can try if you'd like, I'm tired as fuck anyway" Dan replied with a yawn. They arrived at the apartment block "Are you okay with me just bursting into your dreams, though?" Toni asked. Dan couldn't help but laugh a bit "Well, my dreams have been confusing crap lately, it would be nice to have at least something normal there"----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Toni watched the living room through a surveillance camera Dan had installed for them. They could only see normally through those, it always took a bit of time for them to get used to the endless stream of data that was the only thing to ever look at outside of simulations. There were no cameras in the bedroom or bathroom, but Toni could understand why.

Nonetheless, the signatures from Dan's brain-implant were visible through several walls. It was probably a pretty intense dream. After a bit of careful consideration for about 10 seconds, they decided to give it a try so they tried wirelessly connecting to Dan's implant only to be met with it asking a code of him, like the ones in the Class C district apartment buildings it was a four-digit code. They tried all sorts of things, and after a few minutes finally found out that it was his son Adam's birth-year '2053'. They barely had time to think about it because soon the impressions of a true nightmare washed over them. It looked like every mistake Dan had ever done came back at night to torment him.

Toni spotted Dan in the middle of a hurricane of abstract things, he was clearly distressed and upset. They just couldn't watch him like that and called out to him but he didn't seem to notice it at all. Gathering all of their courage, Toni walked right into the hurricane towards Dan and reached out to grab his arm. The moment they touched him, the storm immediatley stopped and his head spun in their direction. When Dan realized it was them, his face went from confused and almost scared to relieved and happy.

Without warning he hugged them tightly. "This is just a dream right? I'm finally able to have lucid dreams again!" he exclaimed, still hugging Toni who was now blushing again. He let go of them and watched them carefully "Did you connect to my dream or are you just part of it?" he questioned, they were too flustered to form a response but Dan was faster "Don't try to talk I know how to determine that" his smile became a wicked smirk "Can I kiss you?" he asked and without thinking Toni replied "Yes, please do!" Dan laughed "Okay it's not the real you".

Apparently he had expected them to completely freeze like a deer because of that bold question or stutter and blush even more. But Toni was given no time to clear everything up as Dan tilted their chin up a bit and kissed them. First softly, then he pulled them closer and deepened the kiss. His lips felt incredible, and Toni lost their ability to think as one of his hands ran down their back and the other tangled up in their hair. After a while they interrupted the kiss to gasp for air and remained there for a while, foreheads pressed together. Both couldn't stop looking into the other's eyes. Finally Dan said "Too bad this ain't the real you, at least I can't hurt you this way" he sighed. Before Toni could ask what he meant by that, the dream ended, he had woken up and they were back in the stream of endless data.

_______________________________________________________________

Alrighty! That’s all folks, hope you like it! It got really long and I don’t know if I made Dan ooc but I’m too tired to look over it again :’DD

[takingtea-and-tellingtales]

thoughts while re-watching ep. 2x12 of Gotham

*ice puns intensify*

wow harvey, interrogating jim gordon at this trial is a little two-faced of you (i will never stop)

drink for “someone tries to say ‘oswald cobblepot’ and with gravitas” 

(and then drink like nine more times for the rest of the scene)

i watched a crack-vid that played “love crime” from the finale of Hannibal over Jim and Oswald killing Galavan and now I can’t unhear it???? i also can’t find it again to leave a link here???? 

“detective, did you have anything to do with the murder of theo galavan?” “what? no. what? who’s galavan. never heard of him. is it hot in here? maybe you killed him, didja ever think of that???” BE A BETTER LIAR, JAMES

prosecutor voice: “jim gordon, is there perhaps a small shaky mobster being tortured in arkham for a crime YOU committed?” (yeah, yeah, oswald has committed upwards of 50 murders at this point i’m AWARE but he didn’t do this one)

okay, friends, let’s TALK about SOME THINGS: 

(1) I SEE YOU, JOKER-CULT SPRAY PAINT

CALLED. OUT. 

(2) This:

i should clarify. i know i’m generally very excited about pretty much everything oswald wears because he is STYLISH AF at all times. but this is different. everyone get out your shipper goggles and strap in, this is going to be a ride...

these are not oswald’s clothes. 

i know this for a few reasons

(1) oswald is a much better dresser than this

(2) oswald is a much less practical dresser than this

(3) that coat is too big for him

(i know this because @tigerinkangel and i spent way way way too long looking at the few shots of oswald in this coat in the episode and we determined that the coat is made for someone taller and with broader shoulders... gee. who was oswald just staying with who is taller and has broader shoulders? i wonder.)

these are ed’s clothes 

ed has given oswald not just a coat but THREE LAYERS OF CLOTHES so he DOESN’T GET COLD including a little checked scarf (that surely would match ed’s fab red coat from later this season) and a knitted toque (a hat for all you non-Canadians) 

this is PRECIOUS

i want you all to image how this went down:

“i have to go, ed, they’ll find me and you’ll get into trouble too”

“where will you go?”

“just lay low for a while”

“where?”

“around”

“you’re going to be cold and, frankly, recognizable in that getup” 

“i can’t exactly go back home and change now, can i?”

“well then you’ll take some of my clothes”

“your clothes?” 

“yes. i think i have some sweaters...” 

*cut of ed forcing ugly knit sweaters over oswald’s head as the grumpy little murder-bird complains the whole damn time*

*cut to ed making sure he has a walking stick because the umbrella is a dead giveaway but he needs something for his leg*

*smash-cut to me being trash. oh wait. that’s all the time.”

alright. rant kind of over for now. 

i am HERE FOR the moment in the lab where Ed has the police scanner running and he hears news of Oswald and drops the thing (tooth?) he is holding in his tweezers and stares at the radio. I AM HERE FOR IT. 

i’m slightly less here for butch’s drill-bit arm though it does give him a nice bond-villain vibe

otp: strangely enough i am kind of fond of you 

(Tabitha is me trying to flirt: “you don’t suck i guess whatever”)

come on, Mr. Fries, be cool 

chill out, Mr. Fries, no need for such a... frosty reception 

Harvey Bullock saying “you don’t deserve these lips” is now my preferred method of rejection

“froze her?” “told you it was weird” - oh my sweet summer child you don’t even KNOW how weird this is going to get

(when will there be live penguins wearing tiny rockets you cowards?????)

okay there’s a ton to unpack in this ed-explains-the-roses-and-liquid-nitrogen scene but i’m not going to unpack any of it because i spend a whole chapter doing that in my very long fanfic and i don’t want to spoil it for y’all... i promise it’s super extra, though, and very shippy. you’re welcome. 

i will, however, take a tiny moment to FREAK OUT about ed shattering the rose and saying “i don’t like being called names, detective” through gritted teeth because DAMN that’s a good moment

also harvey looking at ed in this scene is harvey staring into the void and the void staring back - i like to think he saw the riddler in that moment. i just really love it it’s super powerful okay??? 

jim: “what is your relationship with oswald cobblepot?” ed: “i believe the kids today refer to it as “endgame”? i admit the terminology is a little fuzzy...”

(i’m not sorry)

“saying the word ‘Cobblepot’ with gravitas: Ed Nygma edition” 

penguin looks so tiny being dragged through the GCPD bullpen in a coat that’s too big for him. 

also ed watching oswald get thrown in the holding cell #hearteyes

i LOVE this interrogation scene. oswald is beat up, cold, arrested, wearing borrowed clothes and he still has all the power in the scene. 

HOWEVER - why does he cover for jim, here? honest question. is he still kinda infatuated with jim? his he hoping this will pay off in the long run? what’s his game here? 

victor, your research is cold comfort in this hard time of illness (#i’llneverstop)

dear victor, being able to freeze someone without bringing them back is just murdering them more slowly. delayed-murder. 

hey it’s me, shipper trash, back again to talk about the scene where ed and oswald chat through the bars of the holding cell. 

first - the overhead shot of ed pretending to look through files and oswald sitting in the cell is awesome. just... awesome

“you doing okay? you look kind of funky” - ED STAHP he’s the head of the gotham mob - ugh he’s too cute i mean, normal things. i’m fine

sub-point: oswald’s tiny smile and laugh tell me that my above freakout is also his internal monologue

ed just wants to helpppppp they LOVE EACH OTHER (i’m FINE)

i wish we had a scene of ed leaving flowers on Gertrud’s grave that would have been nice i think

gee, i wish ed had gone to visit ed in Arkham so i didn’t have to write 100k of fanfic fixing that (jokes, i loved writing it)

Lucius Fox explaining cryogenics to Harvey is the epitome of patience. he is a better soul than any in Arkham

oh this scene in Arkham is so cringey i feel so bad for oswald (yes i know he killed lots of people just let me be sad about this)

“my name is oswald cobblepot” is gotham’s “harriet jones, prime minister”

*dalek voice* “we. know. who. you. are.”

Victor’s a cool customer in this tense lab experiment. #i’mhilarious

i’m having Fringe flashbacks watching this body melt and not in a good way

any fellow Fringe fans out there? yes? no? 

why the hell isn’t there a refill order on Nora’s medication? how did that happen? 

Alright let’s take a moment to appreciate the hell out of BD Wong as Hugo Strange because holy shit he knocks it out of the park. 

remember how i said earlier that oswald still has all the power in the scene with barnes? yeah this scene where he shakes hands with strange you can just see all the power gather around strange like - i was immediately genuinely afraid for oswald’s safety

he’s got to stand toe-to-toe with the worst of the worst in gotham and still have the upper hand and his presence on screen makes that happen from moment 1

those pink glasses are awesome and i love them 

i really like Mr. Freeze’s homemade outfit it’s adorable 

why is Freeze bothering to hide the bodies at this point? like he really should just run - he has the meds and doesn’t need the bodies

back to BD Wong because i love him

he’s so creepy i love the way he chuckles through the word “yes” 

he’s just got this low, rumbling voice - never yelling, never talking faster - that you absolutely have to listen to whenever he talks. such a great contrast to ozzie’s scream-crying 

oswald’s freckles are very cute in this scene which is a weird thing to focus on i realize but we don’t really see them much in other scenes and they are cute

the little power-play with the tea cup - i love it. oswald pouring tea for himself, hugo taking it away. so. much. intensity. and. passive. aggression. i. love. it. 

now, after all this time, nora finds the murder-basement - freaks out, then just sits there staring at the body. 

harvey and jim arguing over the name is pure though i love them they are absolute disasters. 

while conceptually i’m aware i’m supposed to be invested in victor fries as a character i’m just not - it was a good call to push him mostly to the background after this. 

jfc the guy in arkham gouging out his own eyes i forgot about that. did i mention i LOVE all the arkham plots it is my favourite setting in gotham 

ed doing a little crouch to check for the missing dead body under the table then just going “huh” is like... peak gotham. ed’s got the hang of this city 

“also seems to have had a rather unhealthy relationship with his deceased mother” - hugo strange, not afraid to tell the truth we all try not to talk about

everytime the newspapers give someone a nickname i headcanon it’s valerie vale, living her best life, naming literally every batman villain 

... alright folks i know it’s been a year since i finished one of these but i’m back at it on the regular now so, stay tuned if you enjoy this sort of nonsense. 

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Okay folks. this is it. part 1 of the final chapter

here we go.

-

trial day 2?? oh yeah i forgot they split this game up in the worst, uneven way possible 

-

wow that cutscene was

something alright

-

wow datz actually managed to hold onto the snow globe. kudos?

-

what the fuck

i think i heard it wrong but Dhurke’s objection sounds like an old man 

I'm pretty sure i heard it wrong 

missed the bass

-

who was that no– oh Garananana

i guess she's gonna be the final boss instead huh

- 

im so tired i cant even snark properly 

-

“is that kosher?”

i like it

-

oh god

what.... what is she wearing 

i mean

fuckin

TALK about madonna-whore complex. oh yeah, time to turn super evil?? bear your midriff! show off dem tiddies! 

look, SOJ. theres only one bad bitch in ace attorney who can pull off floaty tendril hair, and its NOT ga’ran.

i cant believe i have to look at this train wreck for the rest of the trial

-

“heh heh heh. its all coming back now. the feel of my blood pumping through my veins”

this is perhaps because youre actually moving now, your eminence.

-

can we just dispense with the trial and have a good old fashioned anime fight? cmon apollo, spike up that hair and grab your BFS. 

-

“meep”

WHATS WITH THE MEEPING

BONNY DID THAT TOO

SOJ ITS 2016 ...ACTUALLY ITS 2028 YOU HOLES

-

everyone in the court: :O what??? whats wrong with rayfa??? why is she sad???

oh i dunno maybe because her fucking Father just got brutally murdered?? maybe??

what the fuck is up with SOJ characters being dumb as a bag of bricks when it comes to other peoples’ feelings regarding death of loved ones???

-

phoenix: shits fucked, thats why?? apollo: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-

“seems like she's worse off today than she was yesterday”

hey game you'd better not be implying any shit 

-

“discipline”

soj

-

alright, back after another longass break. i can do this.

( That’s oddly compassionate of him, all things considered )

I was about to defend Nahyuta because what kind of person wouldn’t try to spare a child from witnessing that kind of trauma... but then again, this is the Sadmad who purposefully tried to trigger someone into losing a trial so

(shrug emoji)

-

grana’s gone into full HORHORHOR BITCH MODE 

partially I'm totally numb because i dont have any stakes in her newfound ebilness, and partially I'm tired of this weird new trend of child abuse in the new games 

- 

“Barbed head.”

oh my god 

the first person she goes to after realizing that her caretaker is gone is fucking Phoenix 

im gonna cry 

“ive been reduced to “royal robe remover”” NO NICK YOU’VE BEEN UPGRADED TO DAD BY SOMEONE WHO’S NOT YOU

( ‘It’s like she’s grooming Mr. Wright to be Nayna’s replacement’) 

I know this game is all about confusing bullshit for heartwarming moments and vice versa but guys 

good lord

my heart

i really needed that 

-

(sigh) they really couldn’t get someone who sounded like a fucking 14 year old to do her voice?? really???

-

rayfa: (looks like she's going to die and collapses)

apollo: this is not good...

gee apollo you really think so? 

-

wait a fuking second 

we went through the whole dance cutscene and we’re not even going to see the pool??? does that mean the priestess has to be conscious and present for the images to be visible? ...and how does that work, anyway? 

i just realized, a medium could use a pool to see the dead, but how the hell could they project it for others to see?? does she literally open a portal to hell???

(sigh) i just regret sitting through that cutscene again

-

“cabal of traitorous lawyers”

i love that

-

(Seriously Dhurke? This is no laughing matter.)

this basically sums up Dhurke’s entire personality 

...yknow, i know what they were trying to do with his character– i really do. i know he’s supposed to come off as a dashing, cavalier rebel who laughs in the face of danger. 

but they overshot endearingly irreverent and ploughed straight into fuckwaddome. if you want a character to be charming, they need softer moments too. Dhurke isn’t a bad person, but he’s kind of an asshole when you get right down to it, and nothing so far is proving otherwise. 

-

ok ive heard Dhurke’s Objection again and it doesn't sound like an old man– it just sounds about as overblown and ridiculous as Manfred von Karma’s (not to mention about as deep)

-

LET DHURKE SAY BITCH

... i guess

-

another perfect example of Dhurke being kind of a fuckwad: he keeps needling the queen and baiting her in ways that could get himself killed, which would be all fine and dandy if he were the brave resistance leader being tortured for information in the bowels of a dungeon.

...but here’s the thing.

IF YOU DIE, DHURKE, APOLLO AND PHOENIX DIE TOO. DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE GODDAMN DC ACT? ITS NOT JUST YOUR DEAD ASS ON THE LINE HERE SO SHUT YOUR SASSY TRAP AND THINK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOUR *AMAZING WIT* FOR ONCE.

you’ve got 2 extra lives on the line here.

...3 if my suspicions are correct.

-

stop calling him son please you abandoned him in an orphanage and didnt contact him for 14 years.

...and if he can’t call you ‘dad’ you have no right to call him ‘son’

-

coming back to this after ghost trick has convinced me that one of ga’ran’s lackeys miiiiiight be related to Cabanela, baby

-

“Wright... I can see we are kindred spirits, you and I! Hah-ha ha ha ha ha!!”

NO

NO 

NO

NO

FUCK YOU DHURKE 

-

“It’s pretty easy to spot the difference between a soulless man and the soulless shell of a man”

ok that did get a laugh out of me, good job dhurke.

-

apollo: pls dont get us killed dhurke: mmmm ok ill try but I'm not promising anything lol

://///

-

“But remember, son, if you truly believe in me, you should be able to prove my innocence.”

do i even have to list how many reasons thats wrong and a shitty thing to say

-

“Such Insolence”

You’ve been beat out, Not So Fast

-

Ga’ran used Gust!

Apollo flinched and couldn’t move!

-

“I could behead you at any time”

she's got a point; she’s a fucking despot, there’s no reason to actually hold a trial. i mean i guess she wants to shut up the rebels but just killing them would be a lot easier and its not like she has any qualms about murder

-

“Aw shoot, ya got me.”

again, not an appropriate reaction for whats going on buddy

-

lol get fucked kjudge

-

DGFUFUS OH COOL

WE GOT GUILTY (excited cheers from the audience)

the applause and the shots of everyone with :O faces is making me feel like i just won a gameshow 

wheres my cheesy jingle 

-

also i love how Dhurke’s like “oh shit!! my assholishness has directly resulted in my son’s death!!! did NOT see that coming!!!!!!!!!”

-

again the sound mixing is drowning out the background music (sigh)

-

“your benevolence? I’d be happy to lend an ear if you’d like to talk!”

>this is it, this is why he leaves the series guys. Apollo is too good for these sinful games.

-

DAMNIT DHURKE, YOUR SHIT MOUTH IS RUBBING OFF ON YOUR SON

-

hmm

we’ve got an april may here

-

“Rayfa, I shall buy you a new servant”

so Kooraheen practices slavery..? I mean, she.... she said ‘buy’, not hire.

-

“she would have left shoeprints”

do

do you know what evaporation is your malevolence 

-

wait wait wait

that doesn't make any sense 

the only prints leading out are from Inga, but the prints inside the building are from Nayna? how did she avoid leaving prints leading inside, then?? did she just long-jump over the dirt path???

-

the guards are not fanboying, apollo, they’re toadying. there’s a difference.

-

apollo: maybe the place he was stabbed and the place he died were different 

(the game only continues after you carefully explain what dying of blood loss is three years later)

-

to be completely fair, there are actually stories of people who were unaware of being stabbed 

furthermore, when you get stabbed, you’re not going to be the most rational human being on earth. 

phoenix, don’t give sadmad that point, especially when he’s currently assaulting your protege 

now, as i was saying, Apollo’s suggestion that Inga was stabbed in the back and then ran into the temple is perfectly plausible; running to shelter from an attacker is probably the first thing you’d want to do when injured, and the tomb was a pretty safe place, i’d wager. 

tbh i really don’t know why they’re arguing about him feeling the pain as that wouldn’t really impair his movement considering he was stabbed in a place that wouldn’t affect his ability to walk???

but yeah apparently he was doped up to shit so 

-

...i highly doubt back pain medication is strong enough to negate a stab wound. on the other hand, if it is and your back pain is THAT intense, Inga, you need to see a fucking doctor pronto.

...yeah shots straight into the spine is one step away from surgery; not to be an asshole but I'm not sure Inga was doing so well anyway before he went 

-

huh. are they really gonna give us an actual choosable choice to abandon Dhurke and save our own skin? Cause that would be interesting; a lot like the old games where you could “”choose”” to defend a client or not.

to be clear here, though, i wouldn't choose “no” even as much as i dislike dhurke. we know (sigh) that he’s innocent, and even if i dont like him it’s our duty to defend his shitty ass

OH HOLY FUCK

THERES THE CHOICE

wow. y’know SOJ, i dont much like you, but you fuckin Did That. well done.

also thank you for the Justice pun it is much appreciated.

-

“And while I can’t say I’m used to it, this isn’t exactly my first rodeo”

FWHAT

>game flashes back to the Ahlbi case

DSKJFLS THIS IS LITERALLY THE “at second rodeo: this isn't my first rodeo” POST

-

YES OK WE’VE SEEN THIS CUTSCENE TWICE NOW ALREADY

WE GET IT, RAYFAS GOT COLD FEET ABOUT BEING QUEEN

MAYAS IN THE GAME 

OK

-

phoenix: allow me to mansplain how rayfa is feeling despite how fucking obvious it is. after all, we know our players have the mental and emotional capacity of goldfish!

oh hey mansplain is a legit word in the dictionary 

cool!

-

why are they building this up?? just fucking tell Rayfa to do her stupid dance again and get on with it; we already did this at the beginning of the trial 

-

“Hmm... Indeed. It would be problematic.”

ohohoooohohohhhihgjhgo

-

oh her nails are actually tiny pen 

thats neat 

thank goodness Kooraheeneese is an up-and-down written language– otherwise they’d have to make a whole new animation for the english game teehee

-

“....................But... Horn Head needs my help”

oh my heart

-

dan she just straight up begone’d her 

-

see the one thing that falls flat here is that, during a regular trial, the prosecution saying “oh, ok, have it your way; you can try to prove your theory” holds up a little more since they... you know. don’t have absolute power.

where as, with Garananana, its more like she's just a huge posturing pushover. especially since every other minute she's saying “ok, I'm gonna kill you for REAL now.”

-

rayfa: b but if i fail you'll be killed!!! i dont get it...

apollo: i literally just finished explaining that I'm 100% ready to die for my shitty job that was like 5 minutes ago

it is sweet to see that he’s cheering her on though. good big bro 

-

I'm finding small solace in this beautiful moment of “your foreign dad and bro are here for you babe reach for the stars”

Athena’s probably flashing a double thumbs up from the gallery too

-

“But... I finally know now. I know in what I can trust”

Bobby, from the afterlife: YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE 

-

Garan: What??? my tiny 14 year old daughter is going to do a thing i don’t want her to??? fuck there’s no way i can shut her up. not even with all of my large adult man guards who could easily just escort her out of the courtroom without any resistance because they’re my fucking royal guards and I'm the Queen

-

oh shit she took off her own cape

im so glad i muted the game so her awful voice actress couldn’t ruin this cool moment

-

and now as this long ass cutscene plays out again, i simply cannot help but wonder about the poor choir and how long they’ve been on standby 

where do they keep the choir during trials 

whats it like singing the dance of devotion song every trial 

-

oh finally here we go. alright, lets see what the magic party pool has in store for us this time 

...o ...ok then

-

OH! OH SHIT 

Inga’s face blind?!

Y’know I did have a few thoughts about that when we discovered his notebook but I didn’t think they’d actually go that route... though, thinking about it now, it is pretty convenient.

...ok everyone’s freaking out. maybe they’ve never heard of face-blindness? ...or maybe its not face blindness after all

im pretty sure it is though

-

i dont know why but everyone being like FUCK ITS GOD and phoenix being like “whoops shits trippy now” made me laugh pretty hard

-

ok i gotta say I'm actually a little invested now, even if its just because i think face-blindness is an interesting thing to incorporate into a murder case. again, a convenient thing, but an interesting thing all the same.

-

ahh fuck i keep forgetting how the stupid seance works 

welp, there goes one of my souls... (sigh)

-

..apollo you dont need to show her the picture of her dead father to say “he had a cell phone”.

-

the voice was coming from INSIDE THE PHONE 

-

RAYFA HAS A PET FROG????

WHAT

SHOW US THE FROG SOJ

SHOW US THE FROG! SHOW US THE FROG! SHOW US THE FROG! 

-

...why would Rayfa interpret the sound of the warbaa’d (something she’s familiar with) with a lion’s roar (something she’s unfamiliar with) ??

-

oh i see thats why Vore Machine is an idiot 

for plot convenience 

-

Datz Are’bal, a man who throws fire crackers at children.

...sounds like an are’bal guy.

bahdum-tshh

-

“The joker who got a kick out of startling Ahlbi with his Dragon Snot Snaps”

...something tells me that if Datz found out about Youtube, he’d be one of those “””prank””” channels.

also WHY ARE THEY CALLED SNOT SNAPS

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

-

“happy-go-lucky”

i think you mean vaguely sociopathic

-

(sigh) ive finally been worn down to the point where i need a walkthrough. ive... been beaten...

-

boy ahlbi’s just a font of knowledge isn't he 

-

DID SHE JUST BREAK HER NAILS OFF

PLEASE SAY THOSE WERE STICK ONS

HOL SHIT

-

MMMM LAY IT ON ME NICK

face blindness 

... i mean theyre not calling it that but thats what it is 

-

yeah yeah channeling blah blah come on! youre in the LAND of channeling !

-

shduhjahdjk

I'm picturing Inga running into his own dead body and flipping his shit 

-

oh man. thats the end of Trail 2 part 1.

guess i’ll see you guys on the other side... heheh. 

[cunyappliedtheatreblog]

Alumni Spotlight : November, Lenni Yesner (17′)

Hey Lenni!

Hi. How you doing Michael Wilson?

I’m good. You know, we were just talking, catching up, but I feel like we’re talking to a radio audience now.

You know--coming to you live from Court Square, Long Island City.

Court Square, Long Island City. That’s where your school is?

Yep. I’m just a few blocks from where I work at Bard High School Early College Queens, in Long Island City.

Could you describe what it is, so that people know where you’re working?

Yeah. I work for a public New York City, DOE, highly selective, high school early college. It’s a partnership between Bard College and the Department of Education that provides students opportunities to earn both a high school diploma and an associate degree in liberal arts, for free. And my job there is to help the students move from our school to their next institutions or to their next post-secondary plan. My actual title is the Director of the College Transfer Office...but I have recently been toying with changing my title to the Director of Future Planning.

My students are bright and really really curious, and weird, in good ways, and very stressed out, because the demands on them academically are intense.

What’s drawing you to calling yourself a “Future Planner?”

Well, I have a colleague who calls herself the Director of Future Planning, and I really loved it, because I think what I do is so much more than helping students think about a college that they can go to. It’s about sitting down, helping a student holistically think about themselves, what they may want in their future, what they want in their present, and to plan for it. I do a lot of coaching with young people around their future goals, even if their future goals are only like six months from now…or ten years from now, I help them map a path to that, or if they don’t know what they want to be but they have multiple interests, I help them think about how to knit their interests together.

And, I think I do a lot of “present” counseling. Like, using mindfulness techniques, using art and theatre, and social-emotional to help students stay present, just as much as I’m helping them to plan for the future.

So, I’m reminded--you’re involved in meditation, right?

Yes. I’m a peer leader with another MA in Applied Theatre grad, Denise Hughes. We are peer leaders of a meditation sangha or collective, in Brooklyn. It is called Love Circle Sangha and it focuses on meditation as tool for collective liberation, centering black, indigenous, and people of color, as well as queer people, trans folks, and folks with a wide variety of historically excluded backgrounds from things like meditation. And we use mindfulness in Thich Nhat Hanh’s tradition as a tool for justice work.

I’m struck by how many different tools are in your toolbelt. I know that in addition to counseling that you do at your school and in addition to what you do at the Sangha, you founded the Trans Generational Theatre Project.

Yeah. TGTP as we call it. It was me and Christian Hansen Appel and Amanda Thompson’s thesis project. It was a group of multi-generational trans and gender non-conforming people, housed at SAGE. I facilitated the first two years, and then when I went back to get a master’s in school counseling, I stepped back as a facilitator and went to more of an administrative role, supporting fundraising and things like that. In the facilitation team now, Christian stayed on, and Kai Pelton, who is a former CAT Youth Theatre member, is a facilitator, as well as L Tantay, who is an MA grad and Renee Imperato.

L and I were in classes together. I didn’t know that they’re on the project!

Yeah. So it’s still in the Applied Theatre family, which is really cool, as well as one of the participants the first year of TGTP, Renee, who’s an older participant, is now a facilitator, as well as another one of the other participants. Now that person, she stepped up as a facilitator. So, the facilitation team now is…it started at three white people—two trans and gender non-conforming people and one cis woman, all of the same generation. Now it is all queer and trans people of color led, and multigenerational. That was always our goal to transition leadership.

I didn’t know all that. I’m really moved. Congratulations.

Thank you. And the project has been awarded funding from the Trans Justice Funding Project for the last three years, which is how we’ve been able to pay participants.

Okay one last stop on this tour of things you do. What’s going on with music in your life?

I make music in my free time. I am a song writer and I mostly create for myself right now. I don’t have a lot of performance right now…but you know, keep an eye out on things coming down the road. I’m looking for some musical collaborators. Always.

Me and Christian collaborated on the song that I made to propose to Ivorie, my fiancé.

Um. So, yes friends. Lenni and Ivorie. QUEER ENGAGED!

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah YEAH! Excited. And it was nice. The weekend that we got engaged, there was definitely applied theatre representation. Shanti, and Denise, and Christian were there, so that was great.

Wow wow wow. I was saying to you before we started recording the interview, that I’d just snooped on your social media, and so much has happened since I last caught up with you.

Mmm hmm. Graduated with my Master’s in School Counseling. Lots of cool stuff.

So. All these pieces, all these modalities. And there’s a person in the middle of it. What are the threads that run across these things that you do?

I think relationships are the thread. They’ve always been my thread. Relationships, in my counseling with students. Relationships in terms of the ways in which I use art and theatre and music to deepen relationships and explore relationships. Relationships across difference. Relationships that serve justice. Relationships that really center being accountable to each other and have difficult conversations.

I had never received an education degree, as being a counselor. I was just counseling from instinct. What I got from the MA in Applied Theatre was an opportunity to learn radical pedagogy, in the form of Paulo Friere’s work, and other theorists around applied theatre. It was like: I have these ideas about how I should be interacting with young people and with other people, and people I’m teaching and people I’m learning from, but like, am I really doing that? I got the opportunity to look at whether I was really doing that or not, after being a counselor for many years, but an untrained counselor, an on-the-job trained counselor. And so the MA in Applied Theatre was my opportunity to reflect and see, huh, what’s the actual framework that I’m coming from when I’m doing this work? And Paolo Freire’s work really has informed everything I do from there on. And Paolo Freire led me to bell hooks, and bell hooks led me to Thich Naht Hahnh, and Thich Naht Hahnh led me to—right?, So all these things, in terms of the through-line of, you know, my growing as an educator and as a person, has come from that.

And the process of how to ask really good questions, and how to ask questions that will elicit strong and creative answers, I feel came from the playbuilding process and learning from Helen, and learning from other practitioners. How a well-placed question in a moment can totally open a scene, or open up work that you’re doing.

And you know, I was able to come to myself as a genderqueer person, through the playbuilding process in my thesis. And [before that] I did an educational piece of theatre about a young gender non-conforming person who was stuck between two binary identities. It was set in prehistoric times, and instead of “men” and “women” it was “healers” and “hunters,” and I played the head hunter. I got to be in drag, so that was really fun. And I also got the chance to craft a story about a young person really refusing to be a part of that binary.

Through crafting that story, I was able to ask myself questions about like how I related to this young person, and realizing ways in which I actually saw myself in this young person’s story that we were creating. And through that, and other influences, really came to the realization of who I am, my gender expression, and my identity.

I was there for that. I remember the piece ended with this image of stars and looking up at literal constellations of possibilities for gender.

Yep. Yep. That came from a piece that was put out by the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, “Trans 101,” because I was just googling trans stuff, because I was trying to understand myself, understand the piece...it talks about gender identity in this really powerful way and it says, “what if, instead of a spectrum, with man on one side and woman on the other, it was…where’s the space on the spectrum for a butch trans woman? Where’s the space on the spectrum for a sissy faggot? And where does that fit? Instead of thinking of a spectrum and lines, what if we thought of gender as a three-dimensional space, as a galaxy?”

I read that and the lights went ON. You know you have those like, turning point moments in your life? That was absolutely one of them, in the process of creating that piece. That wouldn’t have come without the applied theatre degree.

So I think it’s changed who I am as a person at the core. It gave me a place to unveil parts of myself, and it also has changed who I am as an educator. I knew pretty quickly into the degree program that I didn’t want to go the route of becoming a traditional teaching artist, but that I wanted to figure out how to bring teaching artistry to what I did. And I think that I’ve done that.

What advice would you have for a person who’s got all the heart and passion for social justice and arts and has no idea about how to start?

I think asking themselves, who are my influences? Who are the educators I really admire and whose style and intention and practices I respect? What are their influences? Setting up mentoring relationships with educators you respect.

I would say, figuring out the level to which you can bring your full self to your work. So for me, a lot of my strengths as an educator came out as I came out at work. Not just came out as queer and genderqueer, not just that. Came out as an activist and came out as an organizer, and came out as a mindfulness practitioner, and came out as someone who cares about consent, someone who wants to talk about sexuality and sexual health, financial health…

I would say, start thinking about what young people’s issues are. Whether it be black lives matter day of action in schools, or climate justice, or guns in schools, or lgbtq issues…figure out what are the issues that students care about in their lives…or maybe it’s none of those things and it’s something else…but, start reading about those things. Watch the media that they watch. Listen to the music that they listen to. Not because you’re trying to be them, but because the older we get, it can be challenging to stay connected.

And, have good boundaries. Don’t take it all home! Take some of it home but not all of it. Because you can’t get it all done in a day. And you’ll burn out.

Oh, and join NYCORE, which is the New York Collective of Radical Educators.

What, if anything else, would you like people to know about you and your work?

That I’m trying to be the genderqueer guidance counselor that I never had.

—aww, cutie!

I think that being in the Applied Theatre program and working full time was the most stressful times—I was one of the only people who was working full time while in the program—that was the most stressful thing I have ever done in my entire life. But, I think, like, it gave me a different perspective on my work and I was going to bring all that stuff I was learning to my students and to the rest of my personal life. It bled into every part of my life.

I think, you know, the program is a cool opportunity and not without fault. I think that it’s something to investigate, to what extent it fits in your life, and it’s the right fit. I think at the time I tried to do it, I was going through a real crisis, so I needed something, you know. But I almost didn’t make it, at certain points. I didn’t want to keep going. I’m glad I did, but I definitely got to the place where I was like, done.

Also, part of one of the challenges I had with the program is that when I was in it, I felt like I needed to do things a certain way to do it the right way. And, yeah. I finished my thesis a year after it was due, because I created a different timeline and a different path. If I’d tried to set myself up to be on the path everybody else was on, I couldn’t have done it.

I think that’s one of the big gifts and big risks of the program, is this highly scaffolded ensemble progression, straddling arts and academics, because one person’s timeline isn’t another person’s timeline, and there’s shame that comes when people aren’t ready to move on.

I think…the program is still a program within a university. If I’ve learned anything from sending students, particularly students of color—historically excluded students—when they’re invited into academia, some of us really flourish, but some of us really don’t. It can be a blow to the self, and a feeling of losing yourself in the structure of it. I don’t have an answer about how to alleviate that. Pain and beauty both.

I will forever be grateful to the program because of the relationships I have developed and the fact that the Transgenerational Theatre Project came out of it. That has impacted people’s lives in such a giant way. And it exists because we created it as part of the program and through the things that we learned along the way with Helen and Chris and Piper and you know, all these other educators, and with Herukhuti’s guidance [Lenni’s thesis adviser], and with the guidance and support of our trans and gender-non-conforming community who were part of it.

[lil-nct-scenarios-11]

NCT- A Strange Surprise || Gang AU- part 3

Group: NCT- all members

Theme: Gang AU

Type: series- fluff + angst

*Warning- this series will cover some dark themes such as abuse, drugs, and crude language so please read at your own discretion, if these themes make you uncomfortable at all, please do not read this 

Plot: You see Renjun all bruised up and he keeps denying who hurt him. After school, a family emergency pops up so you run to Renjun to stay with him. When he takes you to stay at a friend’s house, you have an unexpected guest.

Previous parts: 1, 2 

“Renjun, what happened to your face?” you ask as you run your fingers over his bruises softly. “Junnie, who did this? Is that Mark kid, I swear imma give a piece of my mind when I see him.”

“Haha, Y/N you’re cute when you worry about me but Imma ask for you not to worry just this once. I just uh... fell,” he lies with a cheeky grin.

“Oh and you really expect me to believe that? Why can’t you just tell me the truth Junnie? I understand that you couldn’t blurt everything about what happened to Jaemin but I’ve known you since we were 2, sure we haven’t really talked for like what, 3 years? But that shouldn’t change the bond and trust we shared for all those years. Look I don’t know what kinda friends you have now or the shit they do but guess what? I’m back and you can confine in me because shit I know you, I know when I have to worry about something. And your cute ass can bet that I’m gunna worry about you when you show up with a fuckin bruise on your face. So tell me what’s really going on here?” you say, holding his hands and looking at him, never wavering your eye contact.

His expression hardens, “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I can’t do that and besides class is gunna start so...”

“Whatever, I will have you tell me one day because I can’t continue to be your friend if you’re not being honest with me so...”

_____  

“Today I’ll be assigning a group essay, you’ll be free to choose your topic from one of the given options however I’ll be choosing your groups. In the first group over here, we have Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin, Y/N, and Renjun. You guys can go ahead and move now. Ok the next group, we have-” your English teacher drones on.

You pack up your stuff hastily and move into the area your teacher directed you to go.

“Ugh I don't wanna work with him/her, he/she’s hella annoying Jeno. Why do you even like him/her so much?” you hear Haechan muttering to Jeno.

“Shut up, you complain too much, just go with it and besides you’re not the only one who’s gunna have trouble getting along with the group. We got grouped up with those two, if Y/N wasn’t here I don’t know what we would’ve done honestly.”

“Yea true, but what can we do now?”

“Um, hey guys. I think we should just go join the other two,” you say hesitantly as you sling your arm around Haechan, who had a very disapproving look on his face. As you three sit down, you can immediately feel the tension between your two separate friend groups. The intense stare-off were starting to get to you so you decide to be one to speak up. “Ahem so uh, does anyone have any preference on the essay topic or-”

“You can just choose whatever, it really doesn’t matter, they’re all boring,” Haechan speaks out boredly as he looks at his nails.

“Um actually I’m interested in the one about solar power, what do you think?” Jaemin squeaks softly.

“Yea, I actually like that one too,” Jeno agrees, nodding as he glances at Jaemin.

“Yea, that one is alright,” Renjun adds in.

“Ok cool, that went smoothly. Um let’s brainstorm now, I don’t know what we’re supposed to be doing after that,” you nervously ramble.

“Yo, what happened to yo guys’ face? Your boy/girlfriends don't like you or somethin?” Hae asks abruptly.

“Hae! Don’t say that!” you exclaim.

“He just asked a simple question Y/N, you don’t need to get upset,” Jeno states quickly.

“You don’t-” you start.

“Y/N,” Renjun says softly as he places a hand on your shoulder. “It’s ok, haha we love to play rough so that’s why we look like this.”

“But-” you go off again but Renjun silences you by giving you a sharp glare.

“Haha yup, Renjun has always been like this,” you lie with a smile as you lightly punch Renjun.

“Well then,” Haechan says simply.

_______

As usual, you make your way to meet Renjun after school but this time you were alert and ready to see who would come calling his name today.

So far everything looked alright so you greet your close friend with a comforting hug before sitting down. “So I was thinking, it’s a Friday night and it’s been a long week so do you-” you get cut off by your phone going off. “Oh I gotta take this I’ll be right back,” you say as you walk away to answer your call.

As you find a quiet place to carry your conversation, Jeno suddenly finds Renjun sitting under the shade and he decides to go over to join him.

“Hey Renjun! I want you to drop Y/N.” Jeno boldly challenges as he swiftly walks towards to him. “We both know damn well that he/she can only be with one gang, yours or mine. So I want to you leave him/her because unlike you, I can introduce her to all my friends. Oh wait. I already did that, and we all agree that we want him/her to continue to be our friend so drop him/her.”

Renjun scoffs, “Are you really that dumb to think I’d give up my close friend that I’ve known since we were barely learning to talk just because I can’t introduce him/her to my gang? Wow, nice try buddy, it ain’t happening.”

“Why don't we just ask Y/N him/herself since he/she is coming back,” Jeno asks as he points to you. You come running towards Renjun and crash into his arms so you sob into his chest.

“Whoa what happened,” Renjun asks promptly as he rubs your back reassuringly.

“My.... arrested,” you sniffle.

“What did you say Y/N?” Jeno asks this time as he comes closer to turn you around to face him gently. You sob into your hands as you explain again, “My.. dad got...arrested.”

Both, Jeno and Renjun’s eyes go wide with shock and Jeno pulls you into a tight hug and smooths down your hair and you begin to cry harder. “Shh, we’ll figure something out Y/N. Do you know what happened?” Jeno asks.

You shake your head frantically and you pull yourself away from Jeno’s warm embrace to talk to Renjun. “Can I stay with you tonight? I can’t sleep at home all alone and you are the only one I know and trust.”

“Of course, my parents and I will take good care of you,” Renjun reassures.

You sniffle as you manage a weak smile, “Thank you Junnie.” You face Jeno to give a hug as you say, “Bye Jeno, I’ll see you Monday hopefully. I’m sorry you had to see me like this, I just met you and-”

“Hey don’t worry about it, this came up unexpectedly. Go, Renjun will treat you well. I’m sorry about what happened to your dad, hopefully you’ll be able to find out what happened to him. Bye Y/N.” Jeno consoles.

You smile frailly again as you wave lightly to Jeno as you and Renjun head home.

___

“Hey is it ok to stop by a friend’s house, you can rest there for however long you need and I know they won’t mind,” Renjun suggests.

You just nod feebly as you follow Renjun towards a small two-story house. Even from outside you could hear the utter chaos from within but it was nothing like the ‘good’ chaos you experienced yesterday. When Renjun opens the door and you step foot inside, everything suddenly goes deathly quiet as everyone’s eyes were on you, silently judging you.

A tall, lanky guy lurks in the corner with a can of Redbull in hand as he asks dauntingly, “So your daddy got arrested huh?”

You furrow your eyebrows as you look at Renjun then back at the giant, “How... how do you know?”

“It’s simple, no one comes here unless their mommy or daddy gets arrested and I know you only got your dad so you put two and two together. Anyways its finally-” Johnny goes on but you cut him off to talk to Renjun.

“Junnie, did... one of your parents.. get.. arrested?” You ask quietly, afraid to hear the answer.

“Oh he didn’t tell you? Both of his folks got locked up and it was pretty romantic the way they did it too huh ‘Junnie’? Anyways, like I was tryna to say before you cut me off, it’s nice to finally meet you. Oh wait, before I show you around, there’s one thing I want you to keep in your pretty little head, no one cuts me off. You only get this freebie but after that you’ll regret it. Ok now that’s done, I suppose you’re gunna be staying here now aren’t you?” the figure asks tauntingly.

“Uhh-” you begin as you hear and see a slim guy with purple-sliverish hair make his way to the living room, where you guys were.

“Johnny, why are you over here acting like a leader? If you wanted to be one so badly then you should done that when Yuta left!” The purple-silver guy spat.

Just then you hear a thunderous knock on the door. Another tall, lean guy with porcelain skin, dark black hair, and large doll-like eyes answers the door and his deep voice calls out with a  chuckle, “Doyoung, looks like your best friend is here.”

“Thank you Hansol hyung, but I can clearly see that. Well then, it's been a while Taeyong.” Doyoung smiles malevolently.

Part 4

*wait can we just take a moment to adore and admire this wonderful human that is Ji Hansol like he could ch with his sharp ass dance moves oml have yall SEENNNN the way dances its like he doesn’t have any bones tff, ok thnx for letting me have a moment lol

*shit I'm so sorry this is soo short and soo late but I saw a good cliffhanger and I went with it haha (ny anon this one is a legit baby one bc at least u know whos at the door ya know)

*I promise part 4 is gunna be out tomorrow bc what even is that schedule I made literally just last week and it’ll be much longer and interesting, just think of this as a set up and make sure to bring popcorn and snacks for tomorrow *wink wink* and you’ll probably meet all the reaming members soon (if you ever get confused who’s in which group then you can check out Teaser 1 and the chart should be helpful I'm sry its so blurry :( )

[that1nkyone]

1nky Liveblogs the Suffering Game: Chapter 3

So I’m starting... late in both the podcast and this particular arc, but I guess some folks were interested in me liveblogging some of this podcast? So, I’m gonna do some reactions from Round One onwards. Starting from the Monster Factory.

Spoilers from The Adventure Zone ahead! This is 53 episodes in.

Oh boy.

how the fuck are they gonna fight an electrified flying dire bear and poisonous regenerating slime - that multiply??

i love how they’re arguing the semantics of pudding

“I can’t believe we’re arguing over whether slime is flesh”

Taako is using his butt to cast a spell. He is holding his Umbrastaff with his butt.

He cast 67 damage with his butt.

there are three tiny slimes left

Okay, here comes the bear.

... OKAY HERE COMES ANOTHER BEAR THAT’S JUST MADE OF ELECTRICITY

“Wow, I wish you hadn’t disintegrated this slime, Taako.” Griffin, I feel like Taako doesn’t care.

holy shit merle is gonna light the room on fire.

Two slimes down, Electric bear’s down...

The tiniest slime!

“Did I just kill three creatures?” “You did it, Dad!!” (gosh dang I love these family bonding moments)

... Travis, why are you asking about the machinery.

“WHAT IS THIS QUEST FOR GLORY - WHAT IS THIS KING’S QUEST BULLSHIT”

Poor Griffin’s gotta be writing on rails, here.

holy shit Magnus that’s a cool and innovative move. 

OOOOH. The bear has no wings, anymore. 

“Something unlucky happens.” oh god taako’s sacrifice from the wheel’s coming into play?

MACHINERY FALLS ON TAAKO 

“You’re going to kill off America’s favourite wizard” 39 POINTS OF DAMAGE AND BEING PRONE AND PINNED TO THE FLOOR OUGHTTA SAY SO 

this isn’t good

Ooh, casting Blink sounds like a good idea.

“I want you to see something cool.” “I see Rogue One two days before it comes out.” ... ooh, weird creatures in the other plane.

... hundreds of weird creatures looking at Taako.

“What do they look like? Compare them to a Muppet.”

Hmm. Why’re these creatures spying on Taako?

Here comes the dire bear, and another electric bear.

Tres Horny Bois got their dodging game

“Next turn is the little slime - ” “HEE HEE HEE!” (It does sound pretty cute)

Merle casts Wind Wall - this is a cool little spell.

There goes the tiniest slime! The Slime is vanquished!

Now we’ve only got the bear left.

“I never thought I’d say this out loud, but - thank God for Merle.”

MAGNUS ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GONNA TRY TO LURE THE BEAR AWAY WITH JERKY??

“THIS BEAR ONLY EATS BATTERIES” A FAIR POINT, GRIFFIN.

“I eat the jerky and flip off the bear.” “AND THAT’S YOUR TURN??”

sorry I’m hearing a puppy in the background. (”Is that the sound of the Dire Bear being ticked off?”)

That is a healthy sounding dog.

THE DOG’S NAME IS BUTTERCUP??

I’m naming the electric dire bear Buttercup.

Niiice, they’re making headway on the fight. The bear is bloodied. Or spark-ied.

Actually nevermind I’m not gonna name the bear I’d get too attached to it, no matter the context.

are we seriously talking pop culture bears

berenstein bears

I agree, Griffin - while I do like talking about bears, I would like to finish this battle this episode.

“Super aroused ice.” 

19 cold damage from Taako. THE BEAR IS FROZEN.

“So everyone just kinda T-Bags this bear.”

“And then Taako goes over and vomits blood.”

“Merle is screaming at the bear and Magnus is kicking it.”

... oh no. Merle’s divinity channelling is kinda... severed?

OH

OH SHIT ‘WONDERLAND ROUND ONE’ IS PLAYING

OH SHIT 

IN WONDERLAND THERE IS NO HEALING??

WHAT

THE ROUND ONE ‘WONDERLAND’ MUSIC - WHICH I LISTENED TO WAAAYY BEFORE I ACTUALLY STARTED LISTENING TO TAZ - IS PLAYING AND IT’S SUPER DOPE BUT

I’M SIMULTANEOUSLY HYPE FOR THE MUSIC AND WORRIED FOR THE CREW

AUUUGHHH

Also, Ads! I do like hearing these, actually. Griffin makes a good radio announcer. Which... is obvious, really.

“when I eat it with my food hole” griffin stop

“If I die, I don’t have to stay on the podcast, right?”

Oh shit

The other opponents can see them. The ones who picked “Foresake.”

Halflings, huh? Guess they weren’t up against the friends they made in the forest.

THEY’RE FLIPPING EACH OTHER OFF.

Oh hey, new voice. Coming from machinery?

“Come over here and I’ll share my dark secret.”

“Okayyy...”

A SEVERED HUMAN HEAD. “Magnus does not react.” Yeah, he’s seen weirder shit.

“Magnus moves a head” god damn it

Cam, huh? hold the phone did he sacrifice his body on the wheel

“I lost a pinky.” “OH THAT’S ALL??”

Oh snap does he want some jerky?

TAAKO I DIDN’T NEED THE MENTAL IMAGE OF CHEWED-UP SLOPPY JERKY

How long’s Cam been here?

“Maybe you can scratch my back - well, the back of my hair - and I can scratch yours? With my teeth?”

ew.

M a g n u s  that was a painful pun.

“I shove him in my bag.” Oh, okay.

So Cam got screwed over? By someone he travelled into Wonderland with? ... is this gonna be a factor later on with our Tres Horny Boys?

Everyone who goes into Wonderland dies? So... what’s the Director’s story?

“What do you know about Liches?”

“Liches get stitches” f uck

So the elves are Liches, huh? That makes a lot of sense.

“Rapture” IT WAS REFUGE? IT WAS NOT CALLED RAPTURE? Poor Griffin.

Hmm. Magic born from a moment of intense passion or emotion? Yeah, Roswell’s a good example of that - and Hurley with Sloane, too. HMM.

Yeah it’s a cornball idea, but I dig it. 

So these Liches remain attached with their previous identity. And these Liches run on suffering.

I wonder what their origin story is?

Magnus is taking a lot of initiative, lately. I mean - he usually charges ahead, but now he seems more... motivated? Organised? I can’t place it.

“Sautee´,” huh? Good word.

DON’T LEAVE HIM ON THE POTTERY WHEEL

Okay, they’re out of the pocket workshop, and moving to the next room.

Oooohhh boy it’s another roulette wheel.

Four lights?

OH SHIT, CAM NEEDS TO SPIN IT?

“Do a quick head count!”

Yeah, what if they say no? I’m curious, too, Magnus.

OH. The Liches seem to have the bell.

... I wonder if it’s the reason why they maintained their identities? Does the Animus Bell have any undead properties, I wonder?

... okay. Time for a break, and then the next episode.