#just ridiculously outwardly infatuated

[animelovelover123]

DMC: Family Pet AU – Meeting the Family (Part 1/3)

Link to Master List [Links to other parts can be found in master list.]

Set-Up

If you were taken by almost any other demon family, you would have been dragged away without warning and thrown to the proverbial sharks to start your job of pleasing and breeding immediately. But this was the Sparda family who saw you for the beautiful, intelligent, slightly frightened demon Pet that you were. Not only were they not forcing you to be their Pet, giving you a couple of months with them to decide if you wanted to stay, but they also made sure not to overwhelm you by introducing you to everyone all at once. They let you meet each family member individually or in pairs over the course of a few days. This is how each of them feels leading up to meeting you and how they react to you when you meet. Organized in order of meeting them.

Sparda and Eva

(see <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/animelovelover123/729852959538757632/dmc-family-pet-au-adoption-process?source=share">here</a> for lead-up)

Leading up to the meeting, Sparda was nervous. Not about the quality of your person, he trusted his dear friend Matier to have picked out the perfect Pet for him and his family's needs. No, what he was nervous over was how his family would react to you. And right now, his direct concern was his wife, Eva. She was human, and so was not raised with, or had normalized, the knowledge of this form of Pet that high-standing demon families had. He also knew that humans tended to prefer monogamous relationships over polygamous ones. So, the idea of bringing in a being purposely meant for platonic, romantic, and sexual relations within a family that already had relationship dynamics within it would seem ridiculous or even gross to many humans. She had been receptive to the idea back when he first brought it up soon after Vergil and Dante were born, but he could tell she was hesitant back then.

What he did not know was that, as the years passed and she got accustomed to family members showing more than simple familial affection, Eva had come to accept the idea and even look forward to it. Yes, when Sparda first explained the practice of taking in a demon Pet, she was a bit put off by the idea due to what her human upbringing had taught her. But now, as a woman in her later years, the idea of a lovely boy or girl with canine/feline traits abound with energy running around showing affection openly, well it was an attractive idea, to say the least. That isn’t to say she is dissatisfied with her husband in any way, she loved him just as much as the day they were wed. And over the years she had come to know that he felt the same, cherishing her and their union despite her ageing faster than him. But he was so very busy all the time, watching over the human world and now taking care of their large family. The same could be said for her children and most of her family. They were all off on their own journeys. She could not help but feel a bit lonely sometimes. So having you around sounded like a wonderful reprieve from those solitary days.

When the three of you did meet on the dock on Dumary Island, you were not alone. Ms. Matier and Lucia were present so initial reactions were outwardly subdued out of courtesy. Sparda invited everyone, especially you in your thin clothing, into their boat for warmth, drinks, and snacks. Your first interactions with your new family leaders were calm and quiet.

Despite what some may think, Eva was the one to fall for your charms first. She quickly became infatuated with you, the way your tail would wag when excited or wave lazily in any other emotional state, how your ears would perk and twist whenever someone different started talking, how you looked around curiously with that little tilt of your head. My goodness, she was in love. And though she kept this part to herself, you in the embroidered lingerie outfit and robe drew her attention to your body as well. At first, she only looked because she was a fan of long, flowing clothing, as was her style. But when you sat, laid down, or some form of lounge, the clothes would drape over your body, showing every edge, curve, and contour. She would have to look away lest her face would reveal the rapid pounding of her heart. She was able to keep her expression as her usual calm smile and her face cool enough that any blush that crept up would be hidden by her blush while around Ms. Matier and Lucia, but her husband saw right through her.

Sparda, being the head of the family and a loving husband to Eva for decades, knew how to read his family’s feelings through their various forms of veils. It brought him great joy to see his wife so very excited. In truth, Sparda had worried that she would not take to you well but thankfully Eva seemed enamoured with you already. Now he just had to worry about how the rest of his family would find you. The personalities in his family varied greatly and so they may not all see you as wonderful as Eva seemed to. He could only hope that they would all find their own reasons to love you.

These are the kinds of thoughts that took over his mind as he first met you and took you back to his home. This isn't to say he did not personally find you lovely, it was just how he was, ever wanting to make sure his family was happy and strong. It also did not help that you were a bit quiet at first. It was to be expected as you had been led away from your colony and all that you knew to leave the country with people you just met. Even though Sparda, and Eva, made clear to you that, unlike some other demon families, they were not simply kidnaping you with no hope of freedom. They would take you home and let you experience life with them for a couple of months before asking you if you would like to commit and receive a family mark, branding and binding you to them. Still, your people were self-taught to be quiet and subservient so it would take time for you to open up and show your own unique personality to them. Because of this, Sparda did not make an emotional attachment to you as quickly as his wife.

Eva had rarely had a chance to see Pets like you, and never had the right to get close to one that was already taken by a demon family, so everything was new and exciting to her. Sparda, on the other hand, had seen countless Pets over his couple thousand years of life, especially when serving under Mundus who always had a harem hovering around him. He was not as enthralled by your ears and tail as Eva or reveled in your obedience like Mundus. What he, personally, was interested in was your unique thoughts and feelings which he would not get to see until you got more accustomed to his family and felt safe to express yourself. Until then though, he was happy to watch Eva dote on you and listen to his wife talk at length about how excited she was to get you home and dress you up.

Eva always liked dressing people. She was always the one to decide on outfits for events and family portraits. She had been unable to indulge in this… hobby I suppose you would call it, for quite some time as the rest of the family were far too old to have Eva play dress up with them. And Sparda, being that he was so large, had to have all his clothes tailor-made so she could not simply go to a store and make him try things on. Oh, what fun she would have, especially if she could get Trish to accompany her. The two women had an eye for fashion, though their styles varied, but they were respectful of each other and would both take turns dressing you and complimenting you and each other’s choices.

Eva was so excited for the future she could share with you in the family. Sparda was hesitantly excited about what dynamics you would bring to the family.

Trish

Trish was honestly surprised when Sparda announced that he planned to adopt a Pet for the family. She figured that, with how spread out the family was and the fact that they had humans in the group, having a demon Pet would be complicated. Then again, the family was already pretty open with getting it on with each other so having someone around purposely to cuddle and have sex with made sense. Trish was always annoyed when she was left waiting for someone to show up just to find out that “another family member jumped me and I just couldn’t reject them”. This was very much a Dante problem, but it was still annoying as hell. And he was infecting others with the same problem! Nero and Nico she got, but even V did it occasionally. Damn you, Dante.

Anyway, Trish herself wasn't opposed to the idea. If she was being honest, when she worked under Mundus and watched his Pets lounge around and pamper him, she found herself wanting a Pet of her own. A cute little thing at her beck and call that she could play with as she wished, what was there not to like? And when she finally met you, she was not disappointed.

Eva had called her up while Sparda and she were still on the boat ride back to the country, asking for her assistance in purchasing a wardrobe for you, who had but one outfit to your name. Trish agreed, of course, never missing an opportunity to go shopping with someone else's money. Even though Sparda claimed he was serious about not buying anything too frivolous, getting money out of him was so easy. So “yes dear sister, of course I will help you buy clothes for our sweet little Pet”, “and maybe I’ll get a few things for myself” but she kept that last bit to herself. She would also get to see you sooner than expected, which was definitely a plus.

When Trish laid eyes on you while sitting in a grassy nook of the shopping center, she fell in love just as quickly as Eva. You were so small, compared to her who was already taller than average thanks to being a demon and always wearing high heels, so cute and innocent looking with your ears, tail, and curious expression, yet sexy with the little lingerie set you had on. A perfect mix of physical traits that made her want to both coddle you and mess with you a little. This was going to be fun.

And so, Eva and Trish linked arms with you and whisked you away, Trish instructing Sparda to leave the shopping to them while he does his leadership duties. “We’ll give you the bill after big guy.” You three spent the next few hours bouncing from store to store. Even though the two women had differing styles, Eva liking prettier flowing clothing and Trish liking sexier tighter clothing, they were the kinds of people who didn’t argue over which to get, they just got both. And it did not matter what gender you technically were. Skirts and pants, heels and sneakers, panties and boxers, they were all on the table.

As you three shopped though, Trish started paying more and more attention to your subtle reactions to things. As a Pet, you were meant to be quiet and accept what was offered to you, but Trish wasn’t heartless. She was not going to deny your thoughts or feelings just to fit her own needs. So she picked up on your little expressions and gestures and responded to them without pressuring you to talk more than you were comfortable with.

“Not your style kitten? How about something like this?”

“Oh, is that a little too tight? We can get a size up.”

“I saw that little smile, you like this one don’t you kitten?”

Through these little interactions, Trish got the chance to know you on a bit more of a personal level. Her attention started to drift from simply shopping and fashion to waiting to tease out more of your opinions on things. Things were a lot more fun when you were less like an obedient dog and more like an independent cat. Although the most fun was seeing you get all flustered when she dragged you into her changing room to help zip her top up.

Oh, she was going to have a lot of fun with you.

V and Familiars

V was curious, but not all that interested in you. In short, he was a new being. He had only been in existence for a couple of years, with most of that time being spent fighting any thoughts and feelings that may lead to him becoming an individual who desired to keep living as he was bound to the fate of returning to Vergil, just a piece of someone else. Right now, V was far too busy trying to find and define himself as something unique. Many family members say he has already achieved this individuality he seeks but V could still feel remnants of Vergil’s thoughts and feelings in him and it frustrated him, almost like he was squandering the chance he had been gifted at his own life. This is all to say that someone new joining the family whose primary purpose was comfort and sexual gratification was of little concern to him at this time in his life. Yes, he may indulge in intimate moments from time to time as he was an adult and such urges were a fact of life. But these things were done mostly when others set upon him looking for attention or when simply being in another's company and the mood starts to shift in that direction. He would follow the flow of the moment but he never sought out these things. So, having no emotional connection with you yet, the only reason you and he would be together is if he came to you seeking intimacy, which he would not do. Add to this the fact that he was more of an introverted and introspective person who was not one for much physical affection meant that, at least until you formed an emotional connection, you two had little reason to show each other affection. When the family discussed who would meet you, in what order, and where, V made little to no comments. He would meet you of course out of politeness and to settle his own curiosity, but when and how was up to fate. Looking back on it though, he wished that he had made a plan rather than what happened.

As V and his familiars entered the mansion after an impromptu soul-searching trip and were now in need of a safe place to rest, Shadow immediately picked up a new scent. It was that of a demon. Curiously though, there was something familiar in it. Once V noticed her curiosity he quickly deduced that it was you, the new Pet, that his familiar was sensing. It was early in the morning though and he did not wish to bother you as the sun was still cresting over the horizon. Griffon, though, encouraged Shadow to indulge in her curiosity against V’s wishes because he wanted to meet the new Pet, who was on roughly the same tier in the family hierarchy as him, and because he wanted to annoy V for the fun of it. So, despite V’s calls to return, Shadow tracked you down to your room, curious about this familiar node to your scent.

You were in your personal bedroom, which Sparda and Eva had gifted you after bringing you, and your multitude of shopping bags, home to their mansion. You three, plus Trish, had had a wonderful dinner together. Then you had a chat about basic rules and responsibilities, which was more so a rundown of the family and assurances that you were free to do, say, and go where you pleased within reason, and then you were sent to rest as you had a long and difficult day. But you could not sleep due to a mix of being anxious about your new situation and not being used to sleeping without your colony surrounding you. So, when you heard the light sound of scratching at your door and the sound of curious, deep-toned mewing, you were wide awake and able to answer the door.

Upon opening your door, you were greeted with a blur of fathers and cackling as Griffon came darting into the room, Shadow practically pressing her nose against you to sniff at you, and V trying to keep his composure while two of his familiars caused chaos. It took a moment, but he was able to wrangle his familiars into calming down a bit, and it was then he could properly greet you and introduce himself.

V was a bit frazzled and annoyed that your first introduction to him was at a moment of weakness where he was unable to control his familiars and he, unintentionally, barged into your personal space. He was determined to make a better impression out of this unexpected meeting though so invited you on a walk in the garden. That was a much more appropriate place to get to know each other and would give everyone a chance to cool off from all the excitement. The air outside was still and crisp in the morning, offering a more serene environment.

V walked beside you at a respectful distance, leaving you to grow closer if you wished without imposing any of his own desires. He watched you closely though, fascinated by your every movement. You were both rather quiet, him being an introspective type and you, outside of your personality, were still hanging onto the teaching of your colony that you were to be like a pretty doll that was played with. Griffon filled the silence at first, which helped kickstart conversations, even if Griffon was a bit crude in his topics. Still, you were both rather mysterious to each other, V being naturally that way and you trying to stay in your role as a perfect Pet. Yet, even when silence hung between you two or the air was only filled with his silky voice reading his treasured poems to you, it was not a cold silence. It was not like the awkward silence of two strangers stuck together. It was like the silence of two lovers who needed no direct communication, verbal or physical. Just the feeling of being close was enough to bring peace and comfort.

Griffon hovered around or would land on nearby plants and garden furniture to start, or throw his two cents into, conversations. Despite V trying his best to make a good impression, Griffon took joy in messing with his attempts whenever he could and would speak his mind despite you two having just met. He made jokes and comments about sex and breeding, about the future infighting that might occur when everyone in the family wants a piece of you at the same time, and threw insults at every family member and the things you would have to deal with while serving them. It was needlessly harsh at times, but he ended up giving you a lot of valuable information. Plus, he did make you laugh sometimes, which made his chest puff out in pride and endeared you to him a bit.

Shadow followed you closely at first. She sniffed at you and gazed at your tail and ears until she figured out that the familiarity in your scent was due to your species, which was a combination of many species being bred together, having some form of feline/canine genes. The scent you naturally released had some similarities to feline and canine scents, that is what she was smelling. Once she figured that out, she regarded you as an ally similar to her and felt connected to you. Even if you were more humanoid than feline, she still licked at you, rubbed against you, batted at you, and generally showed you favour like you were a fellow large cat.

V and Griffon were both unsure about you meeting Nightmare so soon, even if it had calmed down its blind violent nature into a defensive golem-like state. It was still big, frightening, and would attack any demon it viewed as a threat to its master. Still, Nightmare wiggled and called for release, its power vibrating through V’s body like an engine rearing to go. So, after checking with you to see if you would be okay with it, V cautiously called him out, though was ready on the proverbial trigger to expel him at any second. Nightmare did not speak to you, not uttering any of its rarely made low screech or growl-like noises that came out during battle. It stared at you for a few seconds before raising one of its large arms towards you. It approached you slowly and pressed its hand against you gently, making sure to retract its claws before doing so. For a while Nightmare simply held that position, its hand laying on you, technically not moving but you could feel its hand nubs wriggle and its gooey skin ungulate against you. It felt much like how a starfish on your skin would feel but on a larger scale. Eventually, it lifted its hand off of you, then brought it down, then up, then down, then up, and down one more time. After those slow pats, it dissolved away, seemingly satisfied with what it found out about you through this contact.

The group of 4 all approved of you and, though not all would admit it, were already growing fond of you. Even if V still wanted to focus on finding himself, he wouldn’t mind exploring himself with you.

[sevenf1ng3rs]

His Burden: Chapter 11

Chapter 11: It wasn't on purpose, but it was my fault

Word Count: 1.4K

Pairings: Namjoon x Reader

Genres: Innocent!Reader, Troubled!Namjoon, Blossoming Relationship, Big Secret, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Humor.

Rating: 18+, Mature

Warnings: Angst, Self-Harm (ish), Physical fighting

--------------------------

Your eyes widen with the thought of someone you like this much hurting another person in such a way. However, you go silent. Unable to speak another word. Fearful of what he'll say. You slowly detach your arms from his middle, backing yourself away from him. Your thoughts are spiraling, and it only scares you further when he doesn't turn around or even flinch at your absence.

It must've been self-defense or something. He couldn't have just outwardly killed someone, and he's just not like that.

After a few beats of silence, Namjoon slams his head against the wall. The action scares you for a moment before you fully realize what's happening, realizing he's hurting himself. Then, instinctively you reach out and stop him mid-thrash from hurting himself any longer. Not realizing that you intervened, Namjoon continues throwing himself against the wall. Your hand starts to bleed from the force of the blow between his head and the wall, causing you to wince in pain but still not moving your hand out of the way. He stops in his tracks when his blow is softened and whips his head over to you and your bleeding hand, his expression confused.

"Why did you stop me? I should be dead. I'm a terrible person," he says to you, his voice thick with impending tears.

"Don't you dare say that. I don't believe you," you say back to him, pleading with him to believe you.

"You should. I killed my ex-girlfriend. You should stay away from me," he responds, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Then she must've been a terrible person or something. I know you wouldn't kill someone on purpose," you say, frantically trying to reason with him.

"It wasn't on purpose, but it was my fault," tears started to escape from his eyes.

"Please tell me, I won't judge, I still lo- I mean, I still want you," you ask, begging him to trust you.

"My ex wasn't exactly the best person. She'd never sacrifice herself for me like what you did with your hand," he looked at it, sadness splayed across his features.

As if he'd break you, he takes your hand in his shaking fingers, bringing it closer to his eyes to inspect the damage. More tears fall down his cheeks as he looks at it, forehead creased with worry. He lets your hand go, placing it gently by your side. He rips off the bottom half of his shirt, taking your hand once again, using the fabric as a makeshift bandage, tying it around your hand. He lets his fingers linger around yours as he explains,

"I was young, and my ex and I were infatuated with each other. She used to be so sweet, and we treated each other well, a model couple. However, something changed when she learned the truth about me. When I told her about my secret," he dropped your hand entirely as he took a breath and continued,

"Nevertheless, I loved her. I thought she was the one, my soulmate," he chuckled as if the thought was ridiculous now. "I thought we agreed that we were made for each other, but obviously, I was wrong. I caught her cheating on me with another guy. When I found them together, I was crushed. I tried to pretend it didn't happen and was simply a mistake. Some sort of fucked up one-night stand. She said she could prove that she was the one, that I was the only man she really wanted. We went back to my house that same night, this house actually, at the time, and we did it. We fucked. She convinced me that she was in love with me, and I was in love with her, and I believed her. After waking up the next morning, she was dead," he finished, looking pained at having to recall the story.

"What...what do you mean? How did she die?" You were so confused, not comprehending the story.

"I told you. Me. I killed her."

"That can't be it; she must've had a heart attack or something. How do you know it was you?" you reason with him.

"All my brothers and I have a...a curse, of sorts. We kill everyone we have sex with, everyone but our soulmate. Long ago, a witch had a relationship with one of my ancestors, and she put the curse on our family after she found him with another woman. The spell must have been done wrong because she didn't realize a loophole existed. I will kill everyone I have sex with. Everyone except for my soulmate. The one person it won't kill is my soulmate, same with my brothers and the rest of the men in my family," he explains finally.

"You're lying; that's crazy," you say, tearing up.

"I wish that I was just crazy," he lets out a soft laugh and looks away from you.

This can't possibly be true. A witch? His entire bloodline? It's not making any sense. This whole thing is crazy. Why does the one person I feel this way towards have to be... cursed? What does all of it mean? Is there even a possibility that... I... could be his soulmate? This is all too much, too fast.

"That's why every time you wanted to go all the way, I couldn't. I wanted to know for sure that you were the one. But after tonight, I know. I can't sleep when I go too long without seeing you. I think about you all the time. I only want you. The first time I met you, in the coffee shop, I was terrible towards you. I was mean and angry. I was so angry because I knew I wanted you when I saw you for the first time. You captured me immediately; your personality, clumsiness, and smile brought out more emotions in me than I knew I had. When I saw you again, I couldn't help myself. I tried to hold back, but I couldn't. My brothers were worried that you didn't feel the same about me, like my ex, so they convinced me to stay away from you. To let you have a normal, happy life without my burden. But I don't think I can anymore. I know this is a lot to take in, but it's everything. I have no more secrets. Please understand," he reveals his feelings with urgency as if he stopped for even a second, and it would never come out.

He's right. This is a lot to take in... I can't be in here right now, you panic, starting to back away from him.

"I...I'm sorry, I need some time to think," you say, your heart racing.

You turn around and run out of the room, your heart beating as you sprint down the long hallway. When you reach the stairs, Ben sits on them, blocking you from running down.

Was he waiting for me?

Ben sees your hand bleeding through Namjoon's shirt, and his face hardens, his nostrils flared, and he breathes heavily in anger. He grabs your hand to look at the blood that started to run down your fingers, pulling you quickly behind him and facing Namjoon, who was chasing behind you. He bounds towards Namjoon with long, heavy steps.

"What did you do to her!" Ben yells at Namjoon, putting his hand on his chest, stopping him in his tracks.

"Fuck off," Namjoon rips Ben's hand from his chest, pushing him towards the wall to get to you.

Ben rebounds off the wall and grabs the back of Namjoons shirt, pulling him back abruptly. He rips Namjoon around and clutches his collar before pulling back and punching him in the face, splitting his lip slightly.

Namjoon spits the blood collected in his mouth onto the floor, looking back up at Ben and laughing. "You call that a punch," Namjoon says manically before punching Ben across the jaw hard enough to knock him backward.

They pummel each other to the floor, swinging wildly at each other before realizing you've already run out the door. They push off each other and run down the large staircase shoving each other with each step, calling your name and pleading with you to return. They reach the main driveway, panting, to see you enter a taxi that immediately pulls away from the house. Namjoon runs back up to his room to grab his phone. He was calling you multiple times, leaving frantic voicemails. You don't pick up any calls, turning your phone off entirely and tossing it to the side of the taxi. Ben watches as the car pulls off, staying outside for several more minutes, realizing what he's done. He goes home alone; hoping to talk to you tomorrow at work. 

[dooppooo]

no warnings, just Levi fluff

-

Thinking about how Levi is such a hard ass to his cadets, superiors, and equals. He is unapologetically himself and is unwaveringly stoic and sarcastic. Down to his mannerisms, he will do anything besides bend and conform to someone's liking.

But there was on exception.

You.

However, he didn't outwardly show it in front of others. Yes - he'd help you down from your horse, slip on your ODM gear, pour your tea, he was respectful after all, but he'd still call you a brat and 'tsk' you all the same. The pillow talk and softness you received behind closed doors would never see the light of day, and you liked it that way.

You liked being the only one to be gifted this tenderness and be quilted with Levi's love. To be called 'my love' and 'honey' while dressing for bed, but a pain in the ass amongst the crew. To be held tightly at night, tenderly kissed and even tickled as he traced your body, but forced to do the same back braking labor as him when the sun rose again.

It was the perfect balance, one only you got to perceive, which made it that much more special. It made you vow to never neglect the love that was so carefully given to you, because each day was one that he got to be a stick up your ass and a gentle husband.

When the Survey Corps had taken to the abandoned castle for some time, and Levi made himself known as the clean freak who lifted his tea cup with his whole hand rather than just a few fingers, you couldn't help but be proud.

You also couldn't help but drive him absolutely insane. Especially when he ridiculed Eren for his 'poor' sweeping and you followed up with, "What are you talking about darling? I'd eat off the floor in here," - Levi's scowl snapped your direction - "Go sweep the master bedroom, it's the only one left to be cleaned."

And when Eren left, you place a hand on your hip and quirked a smug brow at your lover.

"He'll never learn if you keep praising him." His words were snippy, but his tone was kind. Even his steel eyes had softened.

"He doesn't need to sweep the floor four times in a row." You pulled him in for a hug that he loosely and begrudgingly returned, "Besides, I'm sure you've already scared him shitless. Our room will be just the way you like it."

And you were right. Eren didn't dare let a centimeter of that room go unkempt for he feared a daunting punishment from Captain Levi, so that night when you and your spouse slipped under the covers, a rare smile appeared.

"You need to do that more."

His hand instinctively slithered down to intertwine with yours, "Do what?"

"Smile."

The cornered of his lips tugged further across his cheeks, "No, I'd rather save them for you my love."

Also thinking about how others would perceive your dynamic.

When you joined the Survey Corps and met Levi, you fell head over heels for him nearly instantly. You remember telling Hange how foolish you felt for being so infatuated with someone so bitter. Then as time snowballed and you worked with him more and more you realized - mostly through others telling you in private - his tenderness for you.

How he'd sit next to you or offer to serve you your meal, even checking to make sure your blades were sharp and sturdy. The straw that broke the camels back was when you had finished practicing slicing through faux titans nape's and he told you to come close and stand still.

"Your hair is messy."

And so he fixed it until it was the way you had it that morning.

Needless to say, your fellow captains and higher ups knew you two were beating around the bush and needed to fess up your love for one another.

You decided to be the one to break the ice.

Looking back on it, it was dumb to think he'd reject you when - in Levi fashion - had said I love you in so many ways already. Six months later you were married.

Not to mention the cadet's constantly gossiping about your love life.

"Twelve years! How can you be married to someone like Levi for twelve years. I'd lose my damn mind." Ymir commented to Historia while brushing the horses, you couldn't help but eavesdrop as you passed by outside the stables.

"I heard a rumor that he's only nice to her. I don't know though, he still calls her a brat and a little shit." Historia replied.

"You might be right, he does seem to lighten up a bit when she has something to say. I got out of doing the dishes twice because she told Captain he was being too critical."

Just before you walked off, Historia had one last comment to make.

"I think it's sweet how he has a soft spot for her. It's cute."

It took much more self restraint than you wanted to admit to not run to Levi and tell him how cute the cadets thought you both were that very moment. You saved it for that evening in bed with him.

[likeshipsonthesea]

mianmian gets to the lan sect lectures, discovers very quickly that every one of her peers has decided to use this time to figure out how quickly they can get into bed with someone of the opposite sex, and decides almost immediately that she has to pick a suitably unattainable guy to have a crush on.

the thing is, mianmian is lanling jin’s head disciple. she is capable, intelligent, and very very gay. the last of these things she isn’t exactly keen on telling people yet for a variety of reasons up to and including jin zixuan will be so awkward and stubbornly supportive about it and she doesn’t know how to deal with that yet

so when her friends giggle over the other young masters and finally turn to mianmian-- who’s trying to memorize at least some of the fifty-thousand rules before their quiz tomorrow--and they ask her, “who do you like, mianmian?” she says the name that she carefully picked out of a handful of options.

“lan-er-gongzi,” she says, without looking up from her textbook, and she assumes that will be the end of it. 

lan wangji is both incredibly attractive and unrelentingly resistant to all attempts to flirt with him. she, like half the other female cultivators, can moon over him (or pretend to moon over him) all they want and nothing will come of it. it’s perfect. she’s a genius. the worst she’ll have to do now is pretend to be infatuated with him when her friends start gossiping. it’s fool proof.

spoiler: it’s not

it’s not, no, because her friends are horrible and immediately start gossiping about it to everyone, and usually mianmian wouldn’t care but then jin zixuan finds out. jin zixuan, whose marriage complex is being brought to center stage with the forced proximity to his bride-to-be. jin zixuan, who for some reason decided he has to live his stolen crush-addled youth vicariously through his only real friend that isn’t related to him. jin zixuan, who for some godforsaken reason takes it upon himself to contrive situations for mianmian and lan wangji to be alone together incessantly.

it unfortunately takes mianmian longer than she would like to figure out what’s happening. she’d give herself a break for it-- she was being responsible and studying, thank you very much-- but she doesn’t have much sympathy for her own stupidity seeing as she’s currently locked in a section of the lan library with the second jade of lan

and suddenly, suddenly she’s just so fucking tired. of studying, yeah, the tests here are brutal and there’s no one to bribe to make sure she doesn’t lose points on stupid things, but also tired of lying to the people she loves and tired of training this hard and being an amazing cultivator only for people to care more about her eventual marriage-- to a man of all things!-- and also, let’s be real here, she’s been in lectures with beautiful capable intelligent women for like months and she’s losing her gay ass mind

and so maybe, possibly, as she’s locked in a library with a clearly confused and annoyed second jade of lan she kind of, momentarily, loses it and rants all of this at his steadily widening eyes

at the end of it, she realizes with no small amount of panic that she’s just confessed not only her attraction to women but the fact that she’s been letting wen qing’s ears of all things distract her from her studies. if anything, she’s sure lan wangji will fault her for inattention

but the second jade of lan, after a drawn-out moment filled only with mianmian’s labored breathing and rising panic, simply says, “i understand.”

mianmian stops. she squints. she tilts her head. she squints some more. lan wangji’s ears go pink and just like that she realizes -- “you’re a cut-sleeve.”

lan wangji’s ears go even pinker. he doesn’t nod, or agree, or outwardly react in any way, but mianmian is a capable, intelligent cultivator, and she’s sure of it.

mianmian sighs with a relief she didn’t know she could feel. “thank the gods.”

lan wangji doesn’t seem to know what to make of this response, or mianmian’s increasingly frequent trips to the library following their conversation, or mianmian’s staunch determination to befriend the guy, but that’s alright. mianmian is old hat at befriending awkward sect heirs by this point.

it’s not like lan wangji expressed any desire for her friendship, but the prospect of not being the only one with absolutely no interest in the straight shenanigans happening at gusu lan summer camp is enough to let mianmian ignore his obvious confusion. lan wangji is a great listener and only sometimes blushes when mianmian waxes poetic about the beautiful women she’s forced to surround herself with every day

“no but you don’t understand,” mianmian insists, alone in the library with lan wangji, “jiang-guniang asked me to help her with a sword form. i put my hands on her waist. i said something idiotic bc she was so pretty and right there and then she laughed. lan wangji. i’m in love.”

“yesterday you were in love with wen-guniang,” lan wangji says as he impassively turns a page in his book. “has this changed?”

“no, i’m in love with both of them. all of them. lan wangji. they’re all so pretty all the time. it’s horrible.”

lan wangji presses his lips into a firmer line, which mianmian’s come to understand means he’s repressing a smile. “i’m sorry to hear it brings luo-guniang such trouble.”

mianmian groans, fairly undignified, but that’s a lost cause with lan wangji at this point anyway. “i swear, if jin zixuan says one more bad thing about her i’m going to punch him and marry her myself.”

lan wangji says, “mn,” which mianmian takes to mean that he supports her in this line of thinking, which she finds both quite sweet and ridiculously funny.

grinning, she teases, “lan-er-gongzi, if i do end up marrying jiang-guniang, will you bear witness to our elopement?”

lan wangji’s lips press again, this time in the way that means he’s repressing a frown. “jiang-guniang’s brothers wouldn’t allow for an elopement,” he says.

mianmian huffs. “as if yunmeng or lanling will deign to host our wedding.”

lan wangji appears to ponder this for a moment before he says, “gusu will host it,” and it’s at that moment that mianmian realizes she’s actually gone and fucking befriended the second jade of lan.

what is her life.

of course, it’s not long after that that she goes to find jin zixuan and explain that she can’t make their weekly sparring match today because she has plans with lan wangji (jiang yanli tenderly brushed some of mianmian’s hair away from her forehead while they were working on sword forms and if mianmian doesn’t tell someone about it she’s literally going to explode) and she’s trying to be as polite as possible only for jin zixuan to scoff and pout (”i don’t pout”) and say, “i never took you for one of those women who throw themselves so wantonly at a man”

it’s only for having been friends with this absolutely horrible communicator for most of her life that she doesn’t immediately punch him in the face. “what did you just say to me,” she demands, but jin zixuan just sets his jaw and looks away, flushing down his neck in the way his mother describes as unbecoming and--

and mianmian suddenly realizes that her ridiculous best friend is jealous of lan wangji. 

(in a friend way, of course, he’s like her brother, the one time his mother implied that he ought not get too close to women in case it jeopardizes his betrothal to jiang yanli, he insisted he didn’t have any female friends repeatedly as his mother delicately danced around outright saying mianmian’s name until finally she broke and jin zixuan was basically like huh?? mianmian doesn’t count?? she made me eat dirt like six times when we were kids)

the sheer ridiculousness of jin zixuan, to set her up with a guy and then get jealous when she spends all her time with him

and fuck her, but she loves her stupid awkward ridiculous sect heir best friend and she doesn’t want him to think she’s gone and left him for someone else (gods know jin zixuan’s loyalty complex rivals his marriage one (on second thought the two might be connected)) and so, after making a few quick decisions, mianmian grabs her stupid best friend by the wrist and pulls him to the library

he protests all the way there, but he’s been letting her drag him wherever she wants since they were five and it isn’t as if he’s going to break the pattern now. she drags him to the library and sits him down across a startled lan wangji and then finally breaks and gushes about jiang-guniang’s fingertips brushing her forehead and doesn’t look at jin zixuan once the whole time

lan wangji, on the other hand, sends jin zixuan frequent glances, as if worried on mianmian’s behalf, which is super sweet and also how the fuck did mianmian get two awkward sect heirs to care about her platonically wtf. she spares a thought for her poor auntie, who would’ve loved to have a sect heir care about her niece in much less platonic ways.

at the end of mianmian’s rant, jin zixuan is blinking quite a lot. “you like women?” he asks. he’s always been a bit slow on the uptake. mianmian nods. “you like jiang-guniang?”

mianmian shrugs. “more or less. she’s just really pretty and i’m dying about it. it’s fine.”

lan wangji says, “mn,” sympathetically and jin zixuan continues to gape.

mianmian winces. “you’re not going to be weird about this, are you?”

jin zixuan shakes his head quickly. “no, no-- of course not, i--you know that i--you’re my best friend, i don’t care--what does it matter to me, who you want to--to touch your hair.”

it’s probably the most awkward sentence he’s said to her in years, but possibly more articulate than she’d been expecting. it makes her tear up regardless and she punches him in the shoulder to hide it, and that’s basically how the three of them start hanging out in the library nearly every day after lecture.

sometimes they go to the sparring ground, bc who’s better sparring practice than the second jade of lan? and sometimes (once or twice) mianmian manages to convince lan wangji to join her and jin zixuan for lunch in caiyi town when they don’t have lecture, but mostly they meet in a secluded part of the library where mianmian can rant about how pretty all the women at lectures are, jin zixuan can turn pink whenever she mentions jiang-guniang, and lan wangji can “mn” and nod sympathetically at all the right parts

and mianmian thinks that’s going to be the end of it, they’re just going to be friends now and everything else will move on as usual, bc by some ridiculous trick of fate lan wangji and jin zixuan seem to like each other. which makes sense in hindsight bc they’re both awkward sect heirs who care about cultivation and people a lot even if they’re not great at showing it 

(and he’d never say it but mianmian thinks jin zixuan’s easy acceptance of her liking women is probably the first time lan wangji’s ever seen someone accept that kind of thing before (maybe, possibly, other than his brother, lan xichen seems really cool, even if he does smile kind of intensely at mianmian whenever he happens upon her hanging out with his little brother.))

so they’re friends, they’re unexpected friends, and sometimes lan wangji even makes jokes in that dry deadpan way of his and sometimes jin zixuan doesn’t completely trip over his own words and manages to act like a normal human being and mianmian gets two idiots to care about and a perfect place to vent her womanly frustrations, and she thinks that’s the end of it and then wei wuxian accosts her after lectures one day

“do you like lan zhan?” he asks accusingly, eyes narrowed to slits. “what am i even asking, of course you like lan zhan, but do you like-like him?”

mianmian thinks sadly to herself that she’s much too into women to be dealing with all these men’s emotional problems. “lan wangji is my friend,” she says, carefully sidestepping wei wuxian, who continues to squint at her suspiciously. really, he’d been amusing when he flirted with her, but this? this is just ridiculous.

“does he know that?” wei wuxian asks. “because if he doesn’t, that’s just leading him on, and it’s really not nice to--”

“lan wangji knows we’re friends,” she says, trying to enunciate to get her point across clearly. “you can ask him, if you don’t believe me.”

wei wuxian squints a moment longer before he turns and flounces off. mianmian thinks this is the end of it until she’s accosted again after dinner with, “he said you were friends!”

for some reason, wei wuxian seems even more troubled by this than earlier. mianmian tries to suppress her eyeroll. “i told you he would?”

“but how,” wei wuxian says, suddenly whining. “i’ve been trying to be his friend for months and he refuses to acknowledge me.”

oh, mianmian realizes with a quickly dawning horror. she and lan wangji are not the only cut-sleeves at cloud recesses this summer. (she has suspicions, of course, but no confirmations on any of the others, but this. wow.)

she also realizes, decides really, that she has enough repressed sect heirs in her life and she cannot deal with wei wuxian’s cut-sleeve crisis or his evidently large attachment to lan wangji right now. she turns decisively and walks the fuck away. not her problem.

the lectures end eventually, of course, and mianmian and jin zixuan return to lanling with a horde of golden robed disciples, freshly deflowered and not all together more learned. it’s what, she thinks grimly, their sect leader would want.

the first few weeks go by and she realizes that she’s missed unloading about her frequent and fast falling-in-loves. jin zixuan just doesn’t sympathize right, bless him, and so mianmian takes to writing letters. she sends two without receiving a reply and just starts to write the third when a letter with the gusu symbol is delivered to her room.

she’s almost expecting to find a single mn written on the page-- she would’ve been delighted with just that, actually, the sheer hilarity of such a thing-- but instead she finds several pages filled with lan wangji’s perfect calligraphy.

it’s more than he’s ever spoken out loud, but it seems that propriety dictated that he return mianmian’s extensive letter with one of his own and he’s done so admirably. he responds to the events mianmian detailed in her letters-- most succinctly summarized as, woman are gorgeous and i’m dying-- and then writes about his own life in cloud recesses. apparently, he went on a little night hunt with wei wuxian and also nie huaisang and jiang cheng were involved? seriously, mianmian misses out on all the fun.

he’s also apparently taken in some rabbits, which mianmian immediately decides she needs to see. lan wangji, sitting prim and proper, with a bunch of rabbits in his lap? amazing. wei wuxian would die on sight, she’s sure of it.

he also ends his letter with a warning about qishan wen that has mianmian frowning. she takes it to jin zixuan who reads the paragraph and frowns. “i’ll talk to my father about it,” he says, which she can tell by his hunched shoulders he doesn’t expect to do much.

“talk to your father’s general too,” she suggests, because that man at least thinks with his head and not his dick.

jin zixuan nods but doesn’t hand back the letter. he skims it instead with a barely concealed surprise at lan wangji’s previously hidden expansive vocabulary. mianmian snorts and grabs the letter back. “you can write to him yourself, you know.”

jin zixuan flushes down his neck. “i know!” he insists and then turns and runs away because he’s a coward. mianmian shakes her head, smiling. what an idiot.

still, another week goes by and a letter arrives from gusu and, when mianmian takes it, assuming it’s for her, she finds it addressed to jin zixuan in lan wangji’s impeccable calligraphy and she grins to herself like an idiot. look at jin zixuan, making friends

(she suddenly understands why lan xichen gave her all those intense smiles during the lan lectures)

they go on in this way, writing letters to lan wangji from lanling. sometimes mianmian steals jin zixuan’s letters before he sends them so she can squeeze in some ranting in the post script without wasting a whole second thing of paper, and lan wangji replies dutifully, more verbose than he ever was in person, and it’s nice okay, like. she and jin zixuan have been best friends since they were kids but neither of them has ever been any good at listening and lan wangji is just so honest and earnest in everything, like they didn’t realize that people outside of lanling were actually not always plotting your downfall??? who woulda thunk

and then of course the wens go and ruin everything. they go to the wen lectures bc jin guangshan doesn’t want to “anger our trading partner” like the guy isn’t obviously going to burn carp tower to the ground the first chance he gets, and mostly mianmian and jin zixuan are just vaguely annoyed and put out about it

then lan wangji shows up with a broken leg and a burned sect and they are ready to murder some dudes

after years of breaking in and out of carp tower she and jin zixuan are old hats at this breaking and entering stuff and they manage to sneak into lan wangji’s guest quarters and tend to his wounds, ignoring all his silent glares and ranting furiously about how they’re going to murder wen chao by making him choke on his own dick (mianmian) and how they’re going to war with the wen sect even if he has to threaten his father with acknowledging all of his bastards as proper siblings in public to do it (jin zixuan)

lan wangji just says “mn” and makes various muted, distressed expressions, but mianmian thinks he’s touched.

“are your brother and uncle alright?” she asks, when she’s set his broken leg and forced pain medication down his throat.

“brother escaped with our sacred texts,” lan wangji says. “uncle is... unwell.”

mianmian knows lan wangji hates touch but the way he says it, with this horrible little frown, emoting more than she’s ever seen him, his barely suppressed anger and grief literally making his hands shake into fists, mianmian can’t help it, she hugs him. “we’ll make them pay,” she swears into his shoulder, ruining the lines of his robes with how she clutches at them. “i promise you.”

jin zixuan awkwardly pats lan wangji’s shoulder, which is a lot for him and mianmian spares a moment to be proud of his growth.

unfortunately, wen chao seems to delight in torturing lan wangji on his injured leg and lan wangji refuses to show weakness, which both impresses mianmian and pisses her the fuck off. she approaches wen qing (and her still gorgeous ears, sigh) and asks her to tend to lan wangji, since she’s like actually a doctor. wen qing does bc she’s beautiful, intelligent, and kind and mianmian spends most of that night sighing deeply as she relates this to a significantly drugged lan wangji

the cave of the xuanwu goes about the same as you’d expect. wei wuxian saving her from getting her face branded off is pretty rad of him, though he could’ve just like knocked the brand away instead of throwing himself in front of it but whatever, you do you boo. when lan wangji gets left behind the two of them don’t even have to wait for jiang cheng to grumble and ask for their help, they’re already on their way to carp tower for an army, thank you very much

when they rescue wei wuxian and lan wangji and lan wangji immediately turns to walk back to cloud recesses on a broken leg mianmian says, “fuck no, that’s not happening, you’re getting medical attention and then someone will fly you back home, okay, wtf wangji, sit down.”

and lan wangji is a stubborn bitch so obvs he’s like no but he’s also severely starved, dehydrated, and injured, so it’s not like he can just shake off mianmian holding him down and this goes on long enough for wei wuxian to wake up and see mianmian touching lan wangji, and something in his poor little brain just like breaks and he demands says, “lan zhan, come back to lotus pier with us.”

his argument, as he explains it, is that lotus pier is closer (it’s not; they’re just as close to carp tower as lotus pier) and that it’s closer to gusu for when lan wangji has to return home (it’s not; same deal) but then jiang cheng starts yelling, possibly in support possibly not mianmian’s not sure, and jin zixuan starts getting awkward, probably about the whole golden army behind him bc he’s a nerd and hates being overdressed at functions (this is basically the same thing), and mianmian looks at lan wangji and she sees--

something. she isn’t sure what exactly, but lan wangji looks at wei wuxian as he argues with his brother and he presses his lips into a thin line in the way that means he wants to smile and mianmian thinks, oh. maybe wei wuxian isn’t completely unrequited in his lan wangji obsession.

growing up in lanling, she knows how to use information to her advantage, so she immediately says, “young masters wei and jiang, what a great idea. lanling’s disciples would be pleased to accompany you and second young master lan to lotus pier to ensure everyone’s safe arrival.”

everyone splutters, indignant, confused, awkward (jiang cheng, wei wuxian, and jin zixuan, respectively) but lan wangji narrows his eyes at mianmian and doesn’t try to convince her to let him walk to gusu again, so she counts it as a win.

sect leader jiang and his wife seem surprised and annoyed, respectively, to be taking in so many guests, but sect leader jiang merely smiles pleasantly and directs them to some guest quarters and mianmian and wei wuxian ask, simultaneously, for doctors to tend to lan wangji and wei wuxian makes a face at her and mianmian sighs to herself that she really is too gay to be in the middle of his thing with lan wangji.

turns out, walking a lot and fighting a cannibalistic turtle on a broken leg doesn’t do wonders for healing. lan wangji is also the worst patient ever, he keeps trying to sneak out and get up even though word came from his brother that he’s safe and alright and that cloud recesses is starting to rebuild after qinghe nie and lanling jin came to its aid and pushed out the wen

but with the combined efforts of mianmian, jin zixuan, and wei wuxian (and even jiang yanli at one point, bc who could say no to her soup??) they manage to get lan wangji to just rest for a fucking second, really which results in the jin disciples and lan wangji staying in lotus pier for longer than anyone could’ve expected

mianmian spends most of her time (when she isn’t forcing lan wangji to just fucking stay in bed) working with the jiang disciples, practicing archery, sword forms, and mooning after all the beautiful women here.

(”lan wangji, i know she’s scary, but have you seen madam yu? she could whip me with zidian and i’d thank her” “luo-guniang, please don’t ask madam yu to whip you” OR “lan wangji, i’m almost positive madam yu’s maids are a thing, do you think they’d let me join them just like once” “luo-guniang, could you please pass me my sword?” “why” “i’d like to put myself out of this misery” OR “she made me soup. lan wangji. lan wangji, i know you’re not sleeping, wake up, you have to listen to me, this soup”)

they end up staying so long that when wang lingjiao shows up threatening a child about a kite while sect leader jiang is away, she has a lot more to deal with than madam yu. since none of this had been a “sanctioned visit” no one actually knew that there was nearly an entire troop of jin disciples staying at lotus pier, so when the wens attack they are sorely unprepared for what they’re going to face.

(and ofc lan wangji breaks out of bed heroically and keeps madam yu from whipping wei wuxian, which means they aren’t down one of their most powerful fighters and mianmian has to suffer through the moon eyes they’re making at one another in the middle of a battle no less, she knew wei wuxian had no shame but she’d been hoping lan wangji would have some)

after the wen attack (and defeat) on lotus pier and the jin’s inarguable part in it, the war starts in earnest. lan wangji, after his long rest, heals fine and goes back to gusu to help rebuild his sect and plan for war, and mianmian and jin zixuan return to carp tower to plan as well, ignoring jin guangshan and focusing instead on his general to ensure lanling supplies necessary aid in the war effort

and war is always shitty, of course, and mianmian hates watching her sect family die on the battlefield, hates waiting for updates after every battle to see who’s still alive, hates the politics and jin guangshan trying to wheedle his way out of fighting when there’s fucking lives on the line

(and she could never know, how much easier it is, with yunmeng jiang at its full strength, with one of the brightest minds of their generation there to plot and help, with two of the best fighters not out searching for someone and instead focused on the front)

they reach nightless city after months of fighting and mianmian is ready to just fucking stab wen ruohan herself when they’re suddenly trapped. blocked in on all sides by puppets, their fallen soldiers rising again to turn on them, and it--it looks like they’re gonna die.

“this sucks,” she says to lan wangji, stifling her fear and choking it down. “i never even got to kiss a girl.”

lan wangji just says “mn.”

jin zixuan, beside them, says, “i was an idiot about jiang-guniang.”

lan wangji just says, “mn.”

then wei wuxian pulls out a fucking flute and a-- floating piece of metal?  the army of puppets and corpses stops advancing, held in place by-- music, apparently? and wen ruohan emerges from his lair, black energy falling off him in waves, wei wuxian the idiot flies forward to meet him, gets wen ruohan’s hand around his throat for his trouble.

lan wangji yells, “wei ying!” and mianmian thinks, really not fair that lan wangji is gonna get a boyfriend before i get a girlfriend

and then wen ruohan gets stabbed by jin zixuan’s half brother of all people. wen ruohan, along with his puppets and wei wuxian, fall to the ground. lan wangji rushes forward to catch wei wuxian, mianmian runs after him, finds herself in company with jin zixuan and jiang cheng. when they get there, wei wuxian is barely conscious but he’s-- he’s fucking grinning up at lan wangji from the cradle of lan wangji’s arms

“lan zhan,” he says, “you caught me.”

lan wangji nods, says, “mn,” which is basically his equivalent of i’ll always catch you, wei ying.

“really,” mianmian says aloud, “it’s so unfair.”

the aftermath of the war is more annoying than the war itself, what with all the politics and in-fighting and jin guangshan trying to be the biggest dick there ever was. jin guangshan tries to name himself chief cultivator in wen ruohan’s stead but nie mingjue suggests jiang fengmian instead and the lan sect backs him. jin guangshan tries to demonize the wens but at wei wuxian’s loud rebuttal and sect leader jiang’s backing (which is then backed by both gusu lan and qinghe nie) he’s once again shouted down. and then jin guangshan tries to propose to jiang-guniang for his son and the poor woman just seems so awkward and her father doesn’t seem to know what to say and--

mianmian elbows jin zixuan whose eyes widen ridiculously but, after another, harder hit, he suddenly stands. all eyes go to him, which mianmian knows he hates, but he bows to his father, then jiang yanli, and says, “jiang-guniang, forgive my father’s impertinence. this is not the time or place to be making such an offer, but he--” jin zixuan winces visibly. “--he knows of my feelings and wishes to make his foolish son happy. please, do not feel the need to respond.”

then he promptly sits down, flushing down to his neck, and mianmian shares a disbelieving glance with lan wangji from across the horrible nightless city palace room.

she’d really only meant for him to suggest jiang yanli answer privately, at a later time, but wow, jin zixuan really went for it. also no way jin guangshan knows his son has fallen in love with jiang yanli, so nice save face there. maybe he has been paying attention in all of their etiquette and political espionage classes.

jiang yanli flushes way prettier than jin zixuan and nods politely, stands and bows and thanks the jin clan for being considerate in this time of turmoil, perhaps they can discuss this matter at a later date (jin zixuan looks like he nearly faints at this, and mianmian feels vindicated in all her forlorn ranting. overreacting her ass)

when everything has been settled, wen qing has been appointed the new sect leader of qishan wen with promises to return land to those who lost it and pay reparations to the hurt civilians, as well as have the yin iron destroyed for good. during the final ceremony where all the sects have tea and pledge to be loyal to one another (until the next great war, of course) mianmian leans close to lan wangji and sighs, “her ears look even lovelier with her hair tied back by her new sect leader hairpiece.”

lan wangji says “mn” because he’s a cut sleeve in love with wei wuxian and has nothing even closely resembling taste.

mianmian, on her own, decides to make them both happy. before the jin clan departs from nightless city, she goes up to wei wuxian and asks for a moment of his time. wei wuxian seems confused but follows and, once they’re alone, he says, “mianmian, are you about to get me into bed, because i must tell you that i am a respectable young cultivator and you’ll need to marry me before--”

mianmian gives him her best unimpressed look (she’s had much practice with it, thank you jin zixuan) and cuts him off with, “i like women.” 

wei wuxian’s eyes go wide. “but you and lan zhan--”

she cuts him off again before he can say something so stupid she has to stop talking to him to refrain from breaking all laws of propriety. “look,” she says, “you’re friends with wen qing. now that she’s sect leader, your brother can’t go after her. i, on the other hand, very much can. if you promise to figure out a way for me and her to get close, i’ll tell you a secret you’ll like very much.”

wei wuxian seems hesitant for all of half a second before he breaks. “tell me.”

“do you promise?”

wei wuxian raises three fingers. “promise.”

“on your sister’s life?”

begrudgingly, wei wuxian nods.

“on her soup?”

“just get on with it!”

mianmian smirks, pushes onto her tiptoes, and whispers the secret into wei wuxian’s ear. with that, she returns to the pavilion where all the sects mingle as they wait to depart, wei wuxian trailing behind her in a daze, his mouth hanging open.

lan wangji, who had been watching since mianmian asked wei wuxian for a moment to talk, frowns nearly imperceptibly. mianmian grins at him and his frown grows.

ah, whatever. she walks over to him, unbothered by the quickly growing alarm in his eyes. once next to him, she turns around to see wei wuxian staring unabashedly. her smile only widens.

“you’re going to thank me for this,” she says.

wei wuxian shakes himself, his eyes focusing, and immediately starts walking towards them.

lan wangji, voice flat but wavering, asks, “luo-guniang, what did you do?”

mianmian laughs, says, “i get to give a speech at your wedding,” and walks away just as wei wuxian reaches them.

(she does, actually, give a speech at their wedding. she may or may not be drunk during it, jin zixuan gets embarrassed for her, and she starts tearing up and has to hide it in the shoulder of her wife’s lovely well-tailored robes. it’s alright, though, wen qing doesn’t mind)

EDIT: now on AO3 with a real fic version from lwj’s pov!

[anime-fyi]

You find yourself with an interest that’s seen as atypical for your gender, isolating yourself to avoid ridicule. Your school life goes on, sitting in the background, until one day you’re caught by one of the more popular girls in class because they need one of your talents to help with their hobbies. Welcome to My Dress-Up Darling.

Our male protagonist, Wakana Gojou, has an intense interest in traditional Japanese dolls which he spends his time dutifully working on under his grandfather’s guidance. That’s until one day when Marin Kitagawa catches him fawning over a sewing machine at school and asks if he would help her with her secret hobby, cosplay. From there our story goes, spanning everything from a crash course in otaku culture, to the complexities of designing an outfit, purchasing all of the parts necessary, and then the photographing of said outfit. There’s a lot involved, Wakana taking it in stride due to his admiration of this beautiful girl who lives a much stronger, more outwardly positive life that he would like to achieve himself.

Throughout the show an underlying romance lingers, Marin’s clear infatuation with Wakana going fully over his head in most situations, leading to a fair amount of teasing and hilarity the longer it goes on. I still think the best moments are the times he flusters her, completely unintentionally, and he goes on without even knowing what he’s done. It’s very much a one-way relationship situation, which could be frustrating, but each side seems happy with it.

On the whole, Dress-Up resonates a lot for me since it pulls in so many different themes, makes them all a bit interdependent on the others, leaving a show that doesn’t feel too heavy in any particular column. Interested in cosplay? The detailed moments might interest you. Romance? It’s here. School life? There’s your everyday stuff, friendships, awkwardness, and even some self-discovery. All of that gets tied together that our two main characters need each other to progress in their own ways, and even the introduction of a more professional cosplayer helps put it all in perspective.

Recommended? Yeah, it’s a plenty entertaining show with a lot of shining moments, a lot shared around the community if you were watching along when it aired. Marin is the kind of positive plenty of us would want to be, and Wakana plays a good grounding for the show in general. I’m hopeful a second season happens, it feels like there’s plenty more to explore, whether it’s different cosplay outfits, relationships that may or may not form, or just seeing these two be such good friends.

[anxious-allie-ren]

A Stroll.

Hello everyone! Sorry this took a little bit. It was an insanely busy week for me. But were here! Sorry this one is a bit short as well. I'd like to think it's short and sweet!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had been waiting for a gentleman caller all week. It came as no surprise that none had shown up. You hadn’t been able to speak to anyone but Lord Hux all evening. The rest of your first ball was spent dancing with him and following your father around to meet some of his other friends. You had hoped that the curly haired man would show. Introductions hadn’t been made, but he certainly made an impression on you from across the ballroom. It seems it wasn’t the same for him.

The mysterious raven haired man never came by either. You weren’t sure if you were upset or thankful for that. His intense stare was intriguing, but scared you. The man was attractive, sure. But many vile men were, so you could not be sure he was good without proper conversation. Of course vile men were unattractive as well. Crooked, rancid, and narcissistic.

A good example of such a man would be Lord Hux. You had been summoned to the sitting room to meet with him by your butler, Peter. It seems you did have at least one caller this week. Sadly, it was the one man you did not want to show.

You made your way into the room quietly. The dress you’re wearing is quite plain in comparison to the ball. Just a simple light blue dress and flats that are easy to move in. You had planned to work in the gardens today, but clearly those plans would have to be pushed back. Your hair and makeup are both undone. You look natural, like yourself.

Lord Hux turns away from the fireplace to face you, a lewd smirk spreading across his face. He walks across the room towards you slowly, failing to hide the way his eyes trail up and down your figure. Your face remains neutral as he approaches you. Lord Hux holds out his hand for yours, giving you a slight bow as he kisses your knuckles. You hold back a shudder and take your hand back as he stands back up.

Hux clears his throat and clasps his hands behind his back, attempting to stand like the gentleman you know he isn’t.

“My lady, I came here today to call upon you. I want to make my intentions with you clear.”

It shouldn’t have shocked you. A man looking to call upon you would come to your home about this time of day. Your father introduced you both, so it's safe to assume this man had intentions from the first interaction.

“Oh, alright then Lord Hux. What exactly would they be?”

Lord Hux chuckles and runs a hand over his jacket, smoothing out the creases.

“To marry you, of course. Before the end of this season I will ask for your hand and we will be wed before the leaves fall.”

He’s sheer confidence shocks you. He is so certain that you’ll not only accept this ridiculous proposal but actually go through with a wedding. You bit your tongue from outwardly chastising him for such arrogance. Instead, you simply nod.

“I can’t say that I will still be available at the end of this season, Lord Hux.”

“We shall see about that, my lady.”

___________________________________

The ton had their next outing in the park a few days later. It was a beautiful day, perfect for a stroll. The flowers are in full bloom, the temperature is warm, and the sky is a pastel blue. You’re once again accompanied on this trip by your father. You were hoping after the last event he’d lose interest and send Jillian along with you. But clearly you couldn’t be so lucky.

You were walking along the path by the lake when you spotted the curly haired man from the ball. He was standing with the same man from the ball. But rather than being in deep conversation, they were laughing. His smile spreads across his face just as the flowers by your side spread from their seeds in the dirt. In that moment, a seed is planted within you. You can’t help the faint smile from gracing your face at the sight.

As you and your father come closer, the men pause their conversation to look up. The moment the curly haired man meets eyes with you heat singes your skin. You suddenly feel too warm in your attire. His gaze never leaves you as he excuses himself from his friend and approaches you.

“Hello miss, allow me to introduce myself. I am Lord Poe Dameron.”

His introduction makes you smile. You start to introduce yourself when your father steps in front of you, interrupting the beginnings of a lovely conversation.

“What is your status, young man?”

Lord Poe looks between the to of you, seemingly flustered. He completely forgot to state his status in society during his introduction. Of course, this a large slip up that can cause his value in the ton to plummet. But to you, its endearing. You could tell his place in society was not something he cared about greatly.

Lord Poe pulls himself together and stands just a bit taller, trying to present himself better.

“I am Viscount of Wetyin, your grace,”

You hear the loud sigh your father releases at his response. Of course that wouldn’t be enough for him. You decide to try and take the reins back on the conversation without seeming rude. You step around your father and give Lord Poe a polite smile.

“Hello, Lord Poe. I am Miss Y/F/N, the daughter of the Duke of Selonia.”

Your father takes a step behind you, visibly angry with your interference. If he had it his way, he’d have sent the man running. But you were interested. You’ll be damned if your father runs everything this season. He hasn’t even run his own dukedom for years. The last thing you’ll stand for is him ruining your chances of love for his own selfish needs. Lord Poe smiles down at you, clearly enjoying your defiance. Many other men would take this as a sign of a distasteful woman and leave. But not him. Lord Poe was deeply intrigued and wanted to learn as much as he could about you. He presents his arm to you and moves to stand beside you.

“Would you do me the honor of walking through the park?”

You take his arm, placing your hand between the crease.

“I would love to, Lord Poe.”

“Please, just call me Poe.”

Lord Poe Dameron was born on Yavin to the Viscount and Viscountess of Wetyin. As a child, he explored his lands with his father, learning all about the terrain and plant life that grew there. His mother took control of his education, personally teaching him and ensuring he was doing well in his studies. As he grew, so did the tentions between Yavin and Moraband. Disputes about trade and exports were causing problems between the two countries. These tensions finally snapped after a duke from Yavin was kidnapped and held for ransom. The countries went into a bloody war that lasted for many years. Thousands died in battle. One of those soldiers being the viscount, Poe’s father.

Poe was at the age of seventeen when he died. He was no longer a boy, and was more than ready to take on responsibilities and take his father position. He had served as the viscount for a few years now, too focused on his duties and grief to do much else. It was his mother who finally pushed him to join the ton this season. So, at her request he did so in hopes of finding a wife and settling down. He hoped for happiness and love, like his parents had once had.

You learned much of this as you and Poe strolled up and down the paths in the park. You could relate to him in many ways. Your commonalities bring you comfort. You have really enjoyed his company thus far. He was kind and respectful. Poe always allowed you to speak and listened to your stories so thoroughly. You felt as though he really had interest in your words.

Poe told you about some of his hobbies and you shared yours. He was fascinated by your love of gardening and baking. In his home, those things were done by attendants. He didn’t look down at you for this, rather he found it endearing.

You both spent the whole afternoon together, talking and sharing laughs. A spark had been lit in this interaction. Having to go opposite ways as evening drew near saddened you. But knowing you would see him again at the next even excited you. You went home with a newfound hope for this season.

___________________________________________

After the ball, Kylo had arranged for an estate to be prepared in Corellia for him. Since deciding to join the ton this season, he felt it would be better to stay close by rather than traveling constantly. He hated traveling as it is.

This evening, he was sitting at his desk and looking out at the gardens. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking of you since he laid eyes on you. You infiltrator his thoughts. He was enraged by your ability to cloud his mind without even knowing his name.

Kylo had attempted to get some of his duties done since settling at his estate. You had made it nearly impossible for him. This new experience baffled him. He had never been this captivated by another person before. Defeated, Kylo threw down his quill and stood from his desk, walking over to the large windows. He looked out at the different flowers and admired their beauty. They didn’t hold a flame to you, of course. Kylo found himself wondering if you’d like them or not. Which flower may be your favorite. He had so many questions he needed answered.

Kylo planned to go to the next event in hopes of meeting you. He needed to introduce himself. He needed to spend time with you. He needed to know you. This way, he could end this infatuation and get back to what was important.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There we go! Hope that was good and set us up for what's to come next. Any guesses?

Love, Allie

[alexaplaysgames]

Hideaway

Pairing: Felix Escellun x GN!MC

Fandom: Fictif (Last Legacy)

Rating: T (swearing, dorks making out)

Words: ~2600

Description: Felix and his barista explore his childhood home.

Notes: Felix has all my uwus 🥺 did not post five fics in one day (yet) but I might if convinced.

Thanks to @callioops for the inspiration :)

Please go easy on me I am in no way a fanfiction writer by nature but my love for Felix has evidently overpowered my insecurities ;)

Edit: Uhh.... I was debating between settings for this and realized I made it super ambiguous, so I’ve edited it now!

Warning: This is heavily canon divergent now. Oops.

I’m not even sure how I ended up here, to be quite honest.

But I would’ve had to be crazy to have predicted such a thing- a portal to another dimension (is this another dimension?), a towering manor overflowing with stuffy furniture and servants, a raven-haired goth (although he would protest to such a description) with a bird skull strung around his neck. Honesty, his fashion sense is questionable, though admittedly charming, but I nonetheless can’t seem to get him out of my head.

No, this is the stuff of fantasies born to the insane, of perhaps just the slightly deranged.

I’m not protesting, however, quite the contrary. As I pull Felix through the winding corridors of his childhood home, trying not to thing about the smooth softness of his cool hand in mine, I can honestly say that I haven’t had such fun in a very, very long time.

“Stop, stop!” Felix laughingly protests between laboured breaths, tugging on my hand. I gradually slow to a halt, our footsteps echoing in the large, surprising empty corridor, and Felix slips his hand from mine to brace his hands on his knees as he pants. I try to ignore the resulting disappointment that pangs in my chest and grin.

“You doing okay there, bird boy?”

Apparently, he still has the energy to raise his head and glare.

“My apologies, dear barista, that I have not your physical endurance.” He rolls his eyes, then pauses and smirks. “My being a magical prodigy has spared me the effort of such trivial things as exercise.” He spits the last word out with a scoff.

My grin widens as I saunter closer, placing a finger under his chin to raise his gaze to meet mine from where he is still bent over and panting.

“Perhaps we’ll just have to work on your stamina then, won’t we?”

Felix’s cheeks flush that pretty red that I know has nothing to do with exertion as he ducks his head. I smirk as I turn to examine the nearby wall, giving him time to collect himself. How fun it is to make him blush.

A row of framed paintings lines the wall, all of the equally bizarre. I try to make sense of the faces in them, but the harder I look, the more blurred they become. They are all covered in a discernible layer of dust, indicating that this hallway is rarely used. A peculiar sort of coldness rolls off of the strange pieces, one that has me averting my eyes from the freaky, obviously magically concealed paintings.

“Do you think anyone will find us here?”

I question as I turn to see Felix straightening and running a hand through his hair. I try not to let my eyes follow the motion, choosing instead to meet his icy gray gaze.

He seems perturbed as he looks around, biting his lip. It’s as if he’s just realized where we are. His fault for letting me lead him through the monstrous maze that is his home.

“No. Escell has not entered this corridor in years. I’m surprised he has not blocked it off. He rather enjoys avoiding all things that make him uncomfortable.”

“And what makes him uncomfortable about this wing?”

“Too many memories, my dear. Memories he would prefer to keep locked up.” Though he says it with a smirk, tapping one black-painted fingernail against his temple, it comes out only as sounding rather sad.

I open my mouth to reply, but am interrupted by a sharp-

“Master Felix! Enough with your foolish hiding!”

Felix’s eyes widen as he visibly flinches. “Great goddess, have mercy.”

The voice of Madam Usoro, an angry, mean, lump of a woman, sounds like it is coming from just down the long hall. I cringe inwardly, and probably outwardly, at the thought of meeting her again. According to Felix, she was one of his many childhood nannies (the only one that actually managed to survive his torments), and judging by her scowl, she hasn’t had a “me day” since then.

Unfortunately, Escell also assigned her the task of watching over Felix.

“Ridiculous,” he huffs, “it is as if I am nine years old again!”

My gaze darts frantically between the doors lining the walls, not sure where any of them lead.

I grab Felix’s sleeve and tug, though his eyes stay trained on the end of the hallway, his expression resigned.

“Felix!” I hiss, “which of these goddamn doors will get us out of here?”

He merely sighs. “Why bother? My inevitable capture fast approaches, thus I have decided to be accepting of my fate. I will remain here as a prisoner for the rest of my days while Escell continues to treat me like a babbling infant.”

Great. Now really isn’t the time for his dramatics. I lunge forward and lock my hand around his wrist, tugging him once more down the endless corridor of doors. I feel Felix stiffen as I go to open the first door that catches my eye, but I yank it open and pull him inside before he can protest. The door shuts with a satisfying click and we are alone in a strange, dark room.

“Felix?” I cannot see a thing.

A flash of light, and then Felix appears, a green

orb of light glowing in his palm. I suck in a breath as I take in the captivating way the light hits his features, highlighting his long eyelashes and silvery eyes.

“Apologies! I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

I shake my head, unable to divulge to him the truth. I can’t have him knowing about my strange infatuation. Though I often indulge in what I consider to be harmless flirtation, I know Felix obviously isn’t interested in me. Just days ago he was crying over me, thinking I was someone else! The thought is sobering, and I shake my head.

“What is this room?”

“Ah,” he appears uncharacteristically lost for words. “This is... nothing. We can wait here, I’m certain she’ll cease her endless badgering soon enough.”

I send him a thumbs up before I turn to examine the room. I might as well look around, if there’s nothing else to do but sit around.

“Wait!” Felix’s sharp cry is especially harsh in the quiet of the strange room.

My head jerks up. “What is it?”

“I simply think it best not to carelessly voyage through the uncertainties of the dark. You haven’t a clue what you could stumble upon.”

Something about his tone sounds off, but I sigh and move back towards the door anyway. I have learned that there is no use arguing with him.

I’m almost near the safe haven of Felix’s orb of light when my foot slips on something. I manage to catch myself, but lean down and pick up the offensive item out of curiosity.

It’s a bound, leather notebook. It looks worn, from what I can tell in the faint light, and I flip it open to the inside cover, ignoring Felix’s faint protests in the back of my mind. On the right page are lines of scrawling, messy and unintelligible handwriting. But that’s not what catches my eye. On the left, the page reads:

Property of Felix Iskandar Escellun

I lift my gaze to meet Felix’s guilty visage.

“This is yours?”

He cringes but attempts to hide it with a shrug. The movement does not at all look natural on him.

“You are aware I was raised here?” He snatches the journal out of my grasp with his free hand, then quirks a brow. “Why are you surprised to find an object previously in my possession?”

Felix is an atrocious liar. I glance around the room and suddenly it hits me where we are.

“This was your bedroom, wasn’t it?”

Although Felix is, I assume, currently staying somewhere else, his reaction leaves me with no doubt in my mind that this used to be his room.

Felix bites his lip (he really needs to stop doing that lest I get distracted) then slowly nods. With another sigh, he presses his palms together, then spreads them apart until green light flows throughout the room, the night vision goggle-like effect making it look like we’re on an episode of ghost hunters.

“I would rather not spend time sifting through old memories,” Felix says quietly from beside me as I observe my surroundings.

The room is relatively sparsely decorated. In the centre of the opposite wall is a large, canopy bed, the sheets tossed to the side and the curtains haphazardly thrown about. A large desk is pressed up against one wall, overflowing with notebooks and stacks of parchment, and a bookcase on the opposite wall is spilling over with messily arranged books. A large, elegant armchair is piled high with odd boxes near the middle of the room, and an open armoire is empty save for a pile of clothing laying at the bottom. The whole place is a mess, and though the furniture is very fine, Felix’s attempts to hide that fact are quite obvious. The few windows are boarded up, the curtains surrounding them singed. In fact, there are several odd burn marks on the floor, and I don’t think they’re due to the large stone fireplace.

“Wow.” Very eloquent of me to say.

“Ugh. I despise this room.”

I drift curiously about making note of the objects in the room. Aside from the pieces of writing, there is very little here to signify that the room was Felix’s.

I walk over to the window and am pleased to find the the large wooden board covering it is relatively easy to dislodge. Behind it, there is a window seat, and I glance out the window to see a view of the rolling hills that stretch far and beyond, illuminated by the moonlight.

Felix flops onto the window seat with a sigh. I sit beside him and try to ignore the fact that our knees touch.

Felix squeezes his eyes shut. “I apologize for my theatrics, dear barista, but I would truly rather leap off the highest tower of the castle of Porrima than suffer through living in this room again.”

I refrain from telling him that I did, in fact, almost leap off the castle’s highest tower, and it is not as fun as he makes it out to be.

He hardly ever speaks of his past without flippant disregard for true emotion. “Will you tell me why it was so bad, Felix?”

His eyes shoot open and he scoffs, though his eyes glisten in the moonlight which shines through the window.

His voice is small as he replies. “I was forced every day to live a life I hated in hopes of pleasing a father whose love I already knew I would never earn. I have never felt so useless, so pathetically desperate, as I felt here. And here I am, back again. All my work to escape this place has been for naught.”

My heart aches for him, the expression on his face causing a physical pain in my chest.

“Felix...” I say softly, and before I even register what I’m doing, my hand is grabbing his.

Felix meets my gaze, eyes wide. Every time I touch him he gets so surprised, and I wonder how often he has been touched lovingly in his life.

“I would never think you useless, Felix, never. You are so extraordinary, so brilliant, and it’s a shame that you can’t see it. You have done so much for me and... I need you. Not just to get home, I don’t even know if I care about that anymore, but because you’ve make me so happy, Felix. Being with you feels like being able to breathe. I know that everyone else has left you, but I promise you, I never will. Never.”

His lips part in shock at my words and this time I can’t stop my eyes from flickering down to his mouth. He is so beautiful. I would do anything to kiss him, even just once.

Felix raises his hand and his fingers draw lines down my cheek, making me shiver. Then he leans forward and presses his forehead against mine, closing his eyes.

“Thank you.”

The words are said so quietly that I barely hear them, but I don’t need to with the gratitude that seems to roll off of him in waves.

“Felix?”

“Hm?”

A pause.

“Do you ever think about me?”

“I... I- of course I do. You have consumed every aspect of my waking life.” I can hear a slight teasing in his voice.

I lick my lips. “Do you ever think of me like you think of Rime?”

I can feel him flinch at the name and am about to apologize before he speaks.

“Rime is gone. A necromancer knows better than to waste energy attempting to recall what has been truly lost.”

“Oh... I-“

He sounds so incredibly sad. Whoever Rime is, I’ve no doubt that Felix loved this person. Though I know I shouldn’t feel jealous of a dead person, envy ripples through my stomach all the same.

“I... do. Think about you.”

And the meaning has changed. He pulls back with a shaky breath, cheeks bright red. “I know I am not the most naturally affectionate person, but I-“

He thinks about me. My heart does a fluttering little happy dance at the thought.

Screw it. If I leave this world, I don’t want to have any regrets.

And that’s the thought that propels me forward as I crash my lips into his with a longing I have never before felt. Felix gasps against my mouth and stiffens, and I panic. What the hell am I doing? But no sooner has the thought left my mind then he relaxes and kisses me back. He kisses me back! And I’ve never felt anything more wonderful.

His hands come to set at my waist as mine cup his face, feeling his jaw work as he kisses me and that makes it all the more real that he is kissing me and this isn’t some sort of fervour dream. I pull his hair free from its tie and tangle my fingers in the silken locks of his hair, and god, it’s just as soft as I thought I would be.

Felix kisses like he talks- a little hestitant, full of passion, and enough to make your head spin. It feels like I’m falling, I don’t know which way it’s up and which is down, just like when he rambles on about spells I could never hope to comprehend, but the drop is thrilling because I’ve wanted it so badly and for so long. At first it’s slow, soft, but I want, so I press myself harder against him in effort to let him know that’s it’s okay for him to let himself take from me what he needs.

HIs hands tighten around my waist as he pulls me closer to him, hands drifting over my sides, and I smile against his lips at his momentary display of forwardness. I retaliate by tugging on his hair that flows between my fingers like water, causing his lips to part against mine as he gasps, the perfect opportunity to slip my tongue into his mouth and I’m worried that I’m moving too fast but he moans. I sling a leg over his thigh and we’re grabbing at each other like horny teenagers now-

Felix pulls away with a gasp (I knew we had to work on his stamina). We’re both breathing hard, echoing in the quiet of the large room, and he blinks rapidly; he looks rather like someone hit him over the head with a brick.

I smile at him, running a thumb over his lower lip, and he lets out a pained noise somewhere between a whimper and a squeak.

“I liked that,” I whisper.

“You- you did?”

I nod. “Of course, Felix. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long.”

“R-really?”

I roll my eyes, responding by leaning forward and pressing another chaste kiss to his lips.

“Me too.” He whispers it like a secret, one that I’ll gladly hold forever in my heart.

Felix tentatively reaches and takes my hand in his, flipping it over and drawing little patterns into my palm as he turns to stare out the window again. It’s soothing, and I don’t really pay attention to the patterns. But after a while I think he starts inadvertently drawing hearts into my skin. It’s rather cute; I didn’t take him for a romantic.

“Master Felix!” The voice sounds from not too far outside Felix’s bedroom door.

“Shit.”

I’m afraid I don’t possess his way with words.

Our eyes meet and we both burst into a fit of giggles as the sounds of Madam Usoro’s footsteps gets louder. Trapped as we are, she’s bound to find us soon. Somehow, I’m not worrried. Nothing could ever take Felix from me.

And he knows that I will never leave him.

[wickedremind]

it hit me just now that despite being blatantly obvious when it comes to crushes, fret still fucking denies them. 

he’s such a refreshing version of flirty funny guy to me. he’s not even really a flirty guy he’s just very much someone who gets infatuated easily. sure his compliments can be seen as flirty but he doesn’t actually use them as a way to advance on people. he wants people to like him but never goes past friendly compliments despite displaying ridiculous devotion & loyalty to people he’s fallen for. 

he wants to be loved but doesn’t go far enough to actually go for what he wants. & i’m sure kanon can’t be used for how he’s always like because the way it’s written, fret knows from the beginning he’d get shot down. but i think it’s interesting to me that he so clearly wants love & wants to be loved but doesn’t admit how deep he’s in it until kanon’s literally dying. 

& i’m inclined to think that’ll still apply with other people. like if he has serious feelings for someone he’s not going to be open & honest about them unless it’s pried out of him or they’re in a dire situation. i think as much as fret wants love, the idea of being seen wholly by another person terrifies him. people seeing his ups & downs, & everything he prefers to keep under lock & key. it’s scary & i think fret knows deep down he can’t truly be loved by someone until he’s willing to be more true to himself. that & he knows relationships require getting more heavy which is something he believes is impossible for him to handle anymore. 

therefore outwardly he doesn’t take his feelings seriously even if they are serious & are destroying him from the inside out. because he doesn’t believe someone could love him back the way he is now. & he’s afraid of any serious feelings he may have about anything. 

[arigatouiris]

was it a coincidence? // shinazugawa sanemi

Author’s Note: Soft Sanemi anyone? I enjoy writing soft sides of baddies because that’s how they areeeee. Anyway, ever since I got to know Sanemi in Kimetsu Academy is a math professor, I knew this was coming. So here it is! Tell me what ya’ll think! 

Word count: 4412

Pairing: Modern! Sanemi Shinazugawa x Reader

Warnings: fluff, mutual pining, soft nemi

❝

For as long as you can remember, your interactions with Shinazugawa Sanemi have been strange. You weren’t one to abruptly jump and exclaim that it’s meant to be or the mere cinematic aspect of him popping up everywhere would actually amount to something. Nah, Sanemi as a person gave you very little to fantasize about. But, it was true and some close to you were noticing it after years.

Sanemi and you shared a fateful relationship that forced you to enter each other’s lives unexpectedly. 

It began with middle school. You never knew Sanemi before middle school, but it was when you joined did you understand that your senpai was someone no one could mess with. He was apparently very kind before—but something had happened that changed him. 

You were in your first year of middle school when Sanemi was in his last, and despite not interacting with him at that time, you knew of him. He was brash, would amount to teasing every single person he came in contact with and would pull pranks on other students. Sanemi was a force as a child, and you started to believe that it would never change.

It didn’t. 

Strangely, you joined your first choice of high school—again, where Sanemi was your senpai. This time, as luck would have it, he noticed you. He gave you a mean glare—the meaning of which you had no idea about—that caused you to whimper and look away, not wanting to run into him. You didn’t know Sanemi was part of the high school you chose, which had a fairly decent reputation. Considering his brash self, you never pegged him for a well-achieving student.

Your interactions were scarce—your ‘senpai, I’m sorry’ whenever you bumped into him (you were part of the newspaper club, you really loved writing and editing, some teased that you’d become the English teacher someday). Sanemi wouldn’t even utter your name, you didn’t even know if he knew your name to begin with, but would click his tongue and ignore you. You took that as a good sign because he normally yells at people who bump into him. 

What caused your fascination with Sanemi-senpai was a small yet brief incident during the school festival. His face, at the time, was scarless, so there was a line of girls who wanted a piece of Shinazugawa meat, not considering the fact that he wasn’t interested. Which was weird, you thought, because he could have any man or woman he so desired. But, that was the thing—he didn’t desire. 

Sanemi was criticized during the festival by a faculty member that he wasn’t taking part in the events his classmates were working so hard for. Begrudgingly, he decided to be the cashier for an event—a cat cafe event—and since Sanemi was good at math, he was asked to count and collect the revenue that came in. You and your good friend decided to pop into the cafe just to see what your attractive senpai was doing. You wondered if you were the only one who found him intimidating, whereas the whole population of girls believed his bad attitude was attractive. You wondered if they found him attractive for the wrong reasons.

     “Look at him!” Your friend cooed, and you did look at him, only to spot him doing absolutely nothing and staring blankly ahead of him with no emotion.

Clearly, he was bored and didn’t want to be there. You turned to your friend and felt several sweat drops on your forehead at her wasteful enthusiasm. You didn’t understand what she was trying to do, was she trying to impress him? 

     “I’m going to ask him if he wants to join us for a cup of coffee.”

Your eyes widened. You put your hands forward and shook your head.

     “I really don’t think that’s a good idea—”

     “Why not? You have your eye on him or something?”

You blushed at the accusation, only wishing for your friend to know that Sanemi isn’t someone who can be impressed so easily. You always believed he’d want something else, a wistful type of want where you desire after something you can’t have—Sanemi had a deep aura embedded underneath all that menacing outwardly appearance, which was clearly not who he was. And here was a girl, your friend, who was completely infatuated with his demeanor. 

     “N-No, I don’t think he can stop or pause midway—”

     “No harm in asking!”

Sometimes, you wished you were as upfront as your friend was. You let out a squeak before praying for your friend. Sanemi would yell at her and it would break her heart and you’d have to do all you could to console her and tell her that it wasn’t her but him. However,

     “Would you like to join us for coffee?” Your friend asked with a smile.

Sanemi looked at her with a blank expression, “No,” 

He turned and looked at your bewildered expression and for some reason, you felt so sad. There was nothing menacing about him right then, there was absolutely nothing scary. In one moment, all your apprehensions about Sanemi flew away, and there was no way you were ever going to be intimidated by this guy again. 

He looked down at the counter and muttered, “If you’ve got nothing to buy, leave.”

Your friend giggled and came back to you, but you stood up this time and approached your senpai. Sanemi grumbled before noticing it was you. You, whose face he remembered since middle school, whose name he kept forgetting, whose only reactions were once whimpers when you saw him, which had gradually changed to softer and hesitant greetings to now this,

     “I’m sorry if she was too forward, senpai.”

Sanemi merely looked at you, reactionless.

     “It’s fine.”

And that was that. You were impressed, and the blooming of a crush was formed. The more you thought of it, the more it didn’t make sense, and the more it didn’t make sense, the more you liked it. 

You’d smile at Sanemi whenever you saw him now, a soft smile reserved just for him, which he’d ignore obviously. You’d often bump into him on the terrace, completing his homework on his own. Your heart went out to him, you knew of his large family and how his father walked away and how he managed two more jobs alongside school to take care of his family.

You wouldn’t say anything, because that would make you friends. Whatever it was that you shared, you enjoyed it. 

Wordless, silent, and comfortable. 

You felt your heart shatter at the mere thought of him graduating, but you knew he had to go. He was selected in a college in Tokyo, for mathematics, and you knew he was going to excel in it. You wanted to give him something, you wanted to take something from him before he left, but it was strange—you knew there was no possible way you could feel something so strongly for him considering you were a mere 15-year old and he was close to being 18. 

But, here you were, tearing up on his graduation day, trying hard not to show how much you grew to like the person he was hiding behind the aggressiveness he normally displayed. 

On his graduation day, you rushed over to him—he was again, avoiding people while being on the terrace. 

     “Shinazugawa-senpai!” Sanemi turned to you with a scowl, which you’d like to believe reduced in intensity upon the mere sight of you, “I... I want to give you something!”

He’d thrown out an entire box of buttons the day before and if you were also giving him a button, he knew he’d lose it. There was no way he was going to—

His eyes widened. You were giving him a pen?

     “I know you like pens. I always find that you have a new one every month... Whenever you complete homework. I just... I want you to have it for college—”

     “Ridiculous.”

You knew he didn’t mean it and giggled at his expression. He took the pen from you and shoved it in his pockets. You knew he’d give it a good long look when you weren’t there. He was looking at you now, his intense glare directing at you, wordlessly.

     “Aren’t you scared of me?”

You shook your head as if you were expecting this question. 

     “Why? I haven’t been nice to you in my life.”

He was right. He was rude, brash and arrogant. He hadn’t been nice to you.

     “But, you haven’t been mean either.” You said, smiling widely.

You heard him scoff before coming forward and ruffling your hair. You felt your stomach flip at the contact, but that was all you could expect now anyway. A second later, you felt him hold your hand, your eyes widening at his action—a gasp exiting your mouth as you felt something cold being placed there.

     “It’s a button...” Sanemi was struggling with this, “From my shirt... The second button.”

It was a gold button—big enough as a small pendant for a chain. You already knew what you were going to do with it. You smiled before accepting it, bowing down and wishing him good luck, saying goodbye hurt but this was nice—you were acknowledged, and so were your feelings. Sanemi Shinazugawa was your first love, and that was that.

*

When Sanemi looked at you for the first time, he thought you were an idiot. 

It was a fleeting gaze, you see a person as you pass the corridors, never to spot them again or remember their face. Some faces you remember because they were prettier than the rest or uglier than the rest. Some you remember because they had a weird hair color or a big nose. Sanemi remembered your face because it looked like an idiot.

Who smiles like that anyway? Like a dumbass with no care in the world? Oh, so birds like you? How childish. He couldn’t waste his time looking at someone like you. You were three years younger than him, you were practically no one. 

When Sanemi looked at you properly for the second time, he was confused. You were once again his junior in high school. It confused him, how you—of all people—you had turned up as his junior in this school. It made no sense. Funnily enough, he didn’t think you were an idiot this time. You were kind of cute but were shyer than before. 

You would whimper whenever he scowled at you, which again, he found a tad bit cute but also insulting. He wasn’t a ghoul for you to look so afraid of him. But, something had changed—he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but things had changed after the school festival.

You voluntarily walked over and spoke to him about your dumbass of a friend hitting on him. He realized that there was no use yelling at girls who found him attractive, because 1) he knew he was attractive, and 2) he really wasn’t interested in them and 3) they approached him more when he yelled at them, and this last point made no sense to him whatsoever. 

But, you approaching him made no sense either. In fact, it confused him more. You would greet him whenever you saw him, sending him a soft smile or a wave, whatever was appropriate at the time. 

Around this time, when Sanemi looked at you, he thought you could be someone he could talk to. You could sit in silence for hours and he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. You wouldn’t try to fill the space with awkward conversation or small talk—two things Sanemi hated the most. You were just comfortable with him when he completed homework, and you read a book or did something else he didn’t quite pay attention to.

He paid attention to the fact that he didn’t pay attention to you, which meant he was paying attention to you. When Sanemi understood this, he wanted to be around you more but his graduation was approaching and it was as if reality was letting him know that it was either too late or never going to happen.

However, he had always been a weird sort of fighter. When Sanemi gave you the second button on his shirt, he took a good long look at you. It was the third time he had allowed himself to give you a long, customary Sanemi-look, which took a mental picture of you for him to remember when you were not around.

When Sanemi looked at you, that third time, he knew for a fact that you would one day become his wife. 

*

There’s no way... You were bewildered, and it was as if fate wanted you to fail in the subject you hated the most. You were excelling in English and that was what you wanted to study. You didn’t want to study anything else, you were, in fact, very happy that you had your entire life sorted out at the young age of 18. You were going to attend college and get an English degree and you were going to teach.

How good is math in your life? Not very.

How good is math in your life if your first love, senpai from the past, senpai from middle school, was the one teaching you?

You were definitely going to fail.

The aura he brought into class as he was introduced as your new class’s assistant faculty was menacing. You had actually almost forgotten what this feeling was—but as soon as he stepped inside, you were reminded of it brutally, as if the aura had never walked out on you at all. He had scars on his face now, a story you knew you’d probably never know. Sanemi didn’t even look at you, you believed he forgot about you; but you stupidly still wore his button around your neck—people often teasing you about a long lost senpai you were crushing on from the past. 

Everyone remembered Sanemi, everyone was scared and no one knew that the button belonged to him. It was a secret you were sure were to take to the grave, but now the chances of that were slim. 

     “This is why I think fate is modulating your interactions with Shinazugawa-sensei!” Your friend exclaimed.

     “It’s nothing like that... I think he just got a job here and it’s paying well—”

     “What if he came back for you?”

You rolled your eyes. There was no way he’d have come back for me, you thought, your heart flipping at the mere thought. You watched as Sanemi walked into another classroom, hearing rumors about how he was incredibly strict with his students. That didn’t surprise you at all, and in fact, you liked how serious he was about the subject he liked. A soft smile sat on your lips and you were lost in thought until—

     “Thinking about Shinazugawa-sensei?” Your friend teased you before you growled and pushed her away playfully.

Once you were alone, your fingers traced the texture of the button he gave you, which was still around your neck like a small charm. You’ve worn it for two years now—the two years he wasn’t there. It wasn’t as if you never had crushes after that, you did. You even had a relationship in school, the cute and fleeting glances, hand-holding and the first kiss. You had your first heartbreak as well when you caught your then-boyfriend sticking his tongue down your junior’s throat.

In two years, you believed you had moved on from Shinazugawa-senpai, no, -sensei, but turns out, your feelings returned tenfold with him just walking into your class. 

     “Is there a problem?” Sanemi growled at one of your classmates, who was asked to solve a question on the board.

You gulped and thanked the heavens it wasn’t you. You definitely didn’t know how to solve the question, and you didn’t want his wrath falling down on you. However, you knew of him and you knew him. You knew he just wanted his students to learn. You watched as he loudly explained how to solve the question, and you unconsciously took down notes, actually paying attention. 

     “Any questions?” He snapped at the class, which was dead quiet.

Your hand went up in the air, bringing down a deathly aura around you. You looked so intrigued, your eyes closed and your hand in the air steady, your lips curved into a soft smile. 

     “I have a question.”

You were sure your classmates were fully intent on killing you and hiding your body, but since the class time was up, no one had the obligation to wait. 

     “Get out.” Sanemi told the rest of the class, and you assumed was the rest of the class because you didn’t budge, as the class exited the room, relieved. 

     “Sensei, my question—”

     “What is it?” 

You stood up and brought your book over, asking him the question. Calculus was very hard, and you weren’t very good at it. Sanemi took one look at your notes and knew you were struggling, but you were trying. He normally hated it when his students were bad at his subject, but then there was you—you, who were really, really bad, but was also trying very hard.

He explained calmly and you kept asking him to repeat—annoying him, making him yell at you, but you patiently listened, looking bashful. When you finally understood, you thanked him, and bowed, causing the button pendant to slip out from inside your collar and dangle. You hadn’t noticed it was showing, but Sanemi had. His eyes widened just a bit before noticing you walk away, causing him to stare at the pen he was using to explain a math problem to you.

The pen you had given him.

He knew of his shortcomings, but it was rare to find a person who wasn’t appalled with his attitude. He was sure of it, though. He’d looked at you properly for the fourth time and thought the same thing he thought when he looked at you properly for the third time. 

*

During your graduation, you missed meeting Shinazugawa-sensei, but luckily for you, he gave you a smirk when the assembly was about to begin. You didn’t know what the smirk meant, but on the rare times you had seen it and your heart flipped, this had managed to do the same once more. You unconsciously touched the button necklace, something Sanemi noticed you do (and he knew what you were doing because he had given you the damn button). 

You attended Tokyo University, Sanemi’s alma mater, for English. It was only for a year, luckily for you, and you knew you were going to have to come back home for your family. You’d look for a job there, but what you didn’t know was one of your old faculty members was teaching in Tokyo. 

     “You should join Kimetsu Academy!” He said, patting your back.

Your heart flipped at the thought of your old school, the school where Sanemi teaches still. He had been your senpai, your sensei, and if you were to join Kimetsu Academy as a TA, he’d be sensei again, but so would you.

Although part of your motivation in joining Kimetsu Academy was teaching in your old school, you couldn’t deny joining Kimetsu for Sanemi. You weren’t sure if he was married now—you were 22 years old, which meant he was 25. You were hyperaware of him and what he was doing and you knew he would be surprised with this move. 

On your first day, you took your time walking through empty corridors. You remembered the locker you used back in school, where you’d place your outdoor shoes and your indoor shoes. You let out a sigh as you walked past your old classrooms, feeling warm on the inside. 

     “How long do you plan on wasting time?”

You jumped and turned around to spot Sanemi, leaning against the opposite wall, looking at you as if you were crazy. Your eyes were wide and you felt like you were going to have a panic attack. Your heart was beating erratically, and your mind was blank. You were not ready to see him yet, you wanted to see him surprised and yet, here he was, surprising you!

     “Shinazugawa-senpai...” You voiced, placing a shaky hand against your heart. “You... You scared me—”

     “You still wear it?” 

You blinked, “Eh?”

Sanemi pointed to his own neck and your eyes widened. Your face reddened and you let out a soft squeak before earning a throaty chuckle from him.

     “H-How did you... I mean—I... It symbolizes the essence of my childhood, it’s... it’s not what you—”

     “Shut up,” Sanemi said, sighing. “Didn’t really think it’d be goodbye for real, did you?”

You blinked, confused. 

     “What do you mean?”

He took one good look at you. The fifth time. And when Sanemi smiled at you, you thought you’d actually die.

     “Life keeps throwing you back to me. Didn’t think it’d be a fucking coincidence, did you?”

     “What did you think it was?”

You weren’t sure why you were so nervous. You weren’t sure why this felt like he was confessing to you. He merely shrugged and walked away, leaving you there with more questions than answers.

A month passed, with bare minimum interactions. You had made new friends, and you were getting better at teaching and handling a noisy classroom. You wore your button necklace with pride, flaunting it almost, sending secret smiles to Sanemi who sent you secret glances in return. Soon, the secret glances were late-evening interactions, when the two of you would stay back to correct answer papers. 

It was one particularly long night when you realized you were utterly and irrevocably in love with Shinazugawa Sanemi. You still had four more sheets to go, and the time was over 8 p.m., in the night. Sanemi was still in the staff room as well, correcting his own bunch of papers—cursing here and there about how terrible kids were at math. You’d generally interrupt with a mild conversation, but Sanemi noticed how you hadn’t uttered a word in over an hour. He paused, noticing how he had one more paper to go, and turned and looked at you.

You were engrossed in reading the students’ papers. You had a stern look on your face, the sternest you could conjure, and you were chewing on the back of your pen—a habit Sanemi hated, but found adorable when you did it. He took a good long sixth look at you right then, your hair messy, your eyes having heavy bags underneath them, your fidgety fingers, and he thought the same thing he thought when he saw you for the fourth time and the fifth time. 

He was so sure you would become his wife. He was so sure. 

But perhaps, the sixth time he looked at you was a bit different. Sanemi felt a strange nostalgia upon seeing you, wearing his button around your neck with pride, remembering how the first time he saw you he thought you looked idiotic even. He hadn’t realized he was watching you for a couple of minutes now, in utter silence, and enjoyed the whole while.

Oh shit, Sanemi’s eyes widened. Oh, fuck.

His mother had warned him about how Shinazugawa men fall in love. They fall rock hard and it would most often kill them. The realization hits them at a young age, they were sure of what they wanted and Sanemi was sure as well. 

But for the first time in his life, he was floored. 

     “Oi,” He let out, a serious expression sitting on his face. “(y/n).”

He had resorted to calling you by your first name, not that you complained.

     “Hm?”

You were paying the papers more attention than him. You really were a good teacher. 

Sanemi stood up and walked over you, you weren’t even aware that he was approaching you, and stood by your side. He looked at the papers, the long answers and the amount of red pouring into them. He looked at your head and leaned down, his mouth right next to your right ear. You shuddered when you felt a breath on your ear, but you didn’t move.

Slowly, Sanemi pressed his lips to your cheek and stood there, waiting for a response. He didn’t want to scare you—he hated scaring you, but he did enjoy flustering you.

You were frozen like a rock when he pulled away. Sanemi wasn’t one to casually give off affection like that, but there were times you knew he could be gentle. You turned slowly, to meet his gaze, his hand supporting him as he bent down to your level. Your face was bright red, but your eyes were intense. 

     “Shina—”

     “No.”

You gulped. You understood him too well to know what he meant.

     “Sanemi-san.”

He grinned before looking at your lips once, twice and then into your eyes before noticing your hands reach up to his cheeks. The sexual tension was palpable in the air, and just as soon as your hands touched his cheeks—he took the plunge. He kissed you, like Sanemi would, rough and passionate—his hands buried themselves into your already messy hair and he kissed you some more. He captured your lips into his own, before pulling out and kissing your jaw, your neck, and your eyes, before plunging and kissing you again.

You gasped when he brought you to a standing position, pulling you closer to him and kissing you harder, but also softer—a compassionate side of Sanemi’s most people were not allowed to see. 

When he pulled away, it was as if you would die if you didn’t tell him.

     “Sanemi-san, I... I love you.”

He knew. He knew it from the third time he had seen you. He grinned before laughing, confusing you, offending you—but you had seen it.

Your eyes widened a tad bit when you saw the adoration he had in his eyes as he looked at you.

The seventh time Sanemi Shinazugawa saw you, he was floored; he was deeply, and devastatingly in love with you.

And while people relied on words to express their feelings, there you were. You were fluent in Sanemi’s own internal language. You had always been. And it had always, always been you.

     “For... For how long have you—”

The question was left hanging in the air for a bit before Sanemi answered how Sanemi would. 

     “Shut up.”

❞

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Snowed In pt 3

here we are again. more cramped quarters quarantine inspired pining because i couldn’t stop if i wanted to

Pairing: Geralt x fem!reader

Warnings: other than the anxiety there’s none that I know of. if there are plz tell me tho so I can tag it

Summary: Snowballs. Need I expand?

part 2 here

The thing about anxiety is it’s a sneaky beast, yelling and crying would send it away for only a few hours at a time. So when the hollowness in your chest and erratic heartbeat slowly crept back over the next few days, you weren’t entirely surprised. 

You were surprised by Geralt. He’d become more and more physical as the days went by. Just a hand at your back when he passed you on the staircase or leaning his knee against yours at the dinner table, but it was consistent and comforting. You did your best not to read into it, convincing yourself it was a matter of living in close quarters for such a long time. Still, when he brushed your hair over one shoulder to fasten your blouse, you nearly shivered, praying to any god that would listen that he wasn’t paying attention to the goose-flesh in the wake of his touch. On night twenty-six, you felt him brush the stray hairs from your face when he thought you were asleep and cursed your heart for skipping a beat. 

In the morning, you woke with your back pressed against Geralt's. You were doing your best to convince yourself it was merely due to the dip in the mattress, not your body craving his touch. 

When you didn’t get up with him, he sat back down next to you and nudged your shoulder as if checking that you were awake.

“Hm?”

“You gonna get up today?” His tone was almost casual, just not enough to fool you.

You sighed, rolling onto your back to face him, “Doesn't seem likely.” 

He nodded, “Jaskier is a dumbass, but even he wouldn’t try the pass.”

You gave him a weak smile, patting his knee. Geralt had been attempting to be more reassuring as well. His words were a little rough around the edges, but they melted you nonetheless. It was terrifying, knowing you were tumbling into that void of infatuation without any way to stop your fall.

Geralt gripped your wrist like you were shaking on a business deal and hauled you into a sitting position, “At least come down to breakfast. Smells like porridge."

“You're a natural salesman." You teased, shuffling to the end of the bed where your pack was unceremoniously thrown on the ground.

Nothing was said at breakfast, but you let yourself sit a fraction of an inch closer than usual, the sleeves of your shirt brushing his as you ate, almost amused at how something so ridiculous felt like an indulgence. You didn't want to know if this thing between you two was just proximity and human nature taking its toll or if there might actually be something. So your only course of action would be to outwardly pretend there was nothing.

With a full stomach, you felt a little less hollow, and being upright for so long had given you enough momentum to follow Geralt out to the barn after breakfast. 

The snow was just over waist high on either side of the path that staff had shoveled to the barn. You skimmed your fingers over the little cliffs, watching the powder float away in the breeze. The cold was refreshing compared to the stuffy heat of all those bodies in the dining hall. Every breath of pine and what could only be described as after-snow-smell was helping to organize your thoughts.

"Don't you dare." Geralt warned, turning to face you with crossed arms. 

"Dare what?" You asked, crossing your own arms in natural defiance. 

"Snowballs." He answered as he nodded to the trail your fingers had left in the snow. 

You smirked, rocking to your other hip with an air of superiority, "I wasn't gonna." 

He pressed his lips into a thin line before turning on his heel to shove open the sliding barn door. 

The idea was just too inviting, and you could use a good laugh about now.

While the door was squeaking so he wouldn't hear it, you scooped up a chunk of snow and hucked it at him as hard as you could. It hit him right between his shoulder blades, sticking in his hair and turning the greyish blue of his tunic a navy hue. You stifled a laugh and slowly backed up a couple places, anticipating the retaliation.

He froze in place and for a moment you wondered if he even felt it. Before you could hope to duck out of the way he spun around and swiped at the bank of snow next to him, sending chunks and powdery snow flying into your face. 

You yelped, not bringing your arms up to shield yourself fast enough. Blinking away the melting crystals, you dove for the other side of the bank and packed a quick and lumpy ball together, hurling it in Geralt's direction without even bothering to aim. He sidestepped it easily and flung his own snowball, hitting you square in the chest. 

"Shit! That's cold!" You gasped, shaking the front of your blouse with one hand while you tried to form something worth throwing with the other. 

He beat you to the punch, sending another clump of snow your way, getting you in the hip. 

"I told you not to start." He chided, already leaning over the bank to reload. 

You saw your opportunity and took it without thinking. While he was leaning down and off-balance you lunged across the few feet between you and tackled him into the drift. 

Geralt went down like a sack of flour, swearing as he fell. 

You shreiked with laughter, landing half on top of him a good two feet deep into the snow, "Not so cocky now, huh?" 

He rolled back and simply pulled more snow on top of you, effectively burying your torso and thighs. The smug look on his face was downright infuriating and incredibly attractive.

You froze for a moment, before mimicking him, only burying his head and shoulders to give yourself time to plaster on your poker face. 

"Not fair! No faces." Geralt sputtered, wiping the snow out of his eyes.

"You got me in the face first!" You argued, scrambling to get up. 

He was too quick for you, though. One of his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you back into him as he rolled to quite literally toss you in an untouched bank of snow a few feet away. 

You squealed, telling yourself it was just the shock of being airborne that had your gut twisting like that. 

Geralt popped his head over the bank, brows knit together and cheeks flushed from the cold. Relief washed over his face and he gave you one of those rare goofy smiles he flashed once or twice a month, "You went farther than I thought. Oops."

You couldn't help but laugh, flicking a bit of snow in his direction. He stood and trudged through the snow to you, offering you a hand up. You pulled yourself to stand, having to grab his other shoulder to steady yourself when you went past vertical. 

You almost leaned into his hold, almost pulled him close and buried your head in his chest like you wanted to; like you weren't just a friend. Almost.

You brushed the snow off your clothes to busy your hands, tearing your eyes away from his, "Farther than you thought? Is that a fat joke?" 

He scoffed, kicking his way through the snow and making a path for the two of you, "Fuck off." 

You hurried after him, "I'm kidding." You insisted, glad it was cold enough to blame the blush of your cheeks on something other than him. 

You fed the horses quickly, not bothering to take the time you usually would inspecting their hocks and feeling for any hot spots. It was too damn cold now that the snow had melted through your clothing. You were shivering by the time you locked Beau's stall door behind you. 

Geralt was waiting for you and frowned when he noticed your hands shaking over the latch. He didn't say a word, but fell into step next to you and snaked his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side as you walked. You wrapped both your arms around his waist, stealing as much of his ridiculously high body heat as you could. The chill took any last shred of shame you had left as you leaned your head against his shoulder.

"Next time I'll dress warmer." You muttered, the awkward angle making it harder to walk, but the warmth was ever so worth it. 

"Or don't pick a snow fight?" He offered, gently squeezing your shoulder and pushing the door open with his other hand. 

"I really wasn't thinking about it till you said something." 

The humm he gave you in response told you he didn't believe you.

_________

Part 4 here!

[dakotacrisis]

A Day In The Life Of Gorilla

Gorilla is a silent character but his inner thoughts are anything but. Hereby referred to as Ishmael because I doubt he would refer to himself as Gorilla.

---

The alarm clock went off and Ishmael got up for another day of work as Adrien Agreste’s body guard. Another day of subtly working around his emotionally stunted employer to let the socially inept teenager have a couple hours of normalcy while still retaining his job. It was a fine line but thanks to Gabriel’s frequent absenteeism and Adrien’s innate ability to sneak away it was not hard.

After getting dressed and having a long look in the mirror contemplating if he should shave the muttonchops Ishmael headed to the kitchen for breakfast. Nathalie was already there sipping some coffee and doing the newspaper suduko. She gave him a half-awake greeting and returned to her task.

Ishmael went to the cupboards and sighed. He understood when he moved to France that there would be cultural differences but he really missed big breakfasts. If he could get a weekend off he’d go visit his sister in Kirn. See how his brother-in-law is doing. Play with his nephews. Eat something other than a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast.

Soon it was time for him to drive Adrien to school. The poor boy looked like death as he slid into the backseat of the car. There had been an akuma attack last night that must have woken him up.

Upon getting to the school he waited to make sure Adrien got inside okay. One of Adrien’s friends, Nino, came up to talk to him along with some other classmates. Immediately Adrien perked up. Public school really had been the best thing to happen to that boy.

After running some errands it was time for Adrien to be picked up to go to his photoshoot. Unfortunately when he got to the school the scene playing out at the front entrance was the exact opposite of the happy environment Adrien had been dropped off in. Chloe Bourgeois was planted firmly in front of Adrien and loudly complaining at Adrien’s new co-worker Lila Rossi.

This ought to be good. Ishmael rolled the window down far enough to hear what was going on.

“It is utterly ridiculous! I will not condone this!” Chloe yelled.

Adrien said something but only Chloe’s screams could be heard from the car.

“If your dad wants someone to partner modeling with you then it is going to be me! Not this out of season, romper wearing, disrespectful, philistine.”

Philistine? He wasn’t aware Chloe carried that word in her vocabulary. He was a little impressed.

There was some more talking from Lila and Adrien to an angry Chloe before a third girl entered the fray. Marinette Dupain-Cheng. The little designer that lived in the bakery had all of Ishmael’s respect. Being one of the few girls in Adrien’s circle that had a crush on him but didn’t force herself on the boy.

Case and point, Marinette came up behind Adrien and tapped him on the shoulder before pointing towards the car waiting for him. He looked back at the car with a gesture to Marinette to follow.

Yes. Come on baker girl! Take the invite!

She nodded and the two quickly snuck away from the fighting girls and hopped in the car.

“Phew,” Adrien collapsed in his seat. “Thanks for coming by when you did, Marinette.”

“No problem.” Marinette beamed. “Thanks for letting me tag along to your photo shoot.”

“Well I know how into fashion you are.” Adrien teased sending the girl’s face aflame.

Ah, young love. Even if one of them was too oblivious to see it.

Speaking of photo shoots Ishmael should probably stop eavesdropping on a couple of teenagers and drive to said photo shoot.

“Adrien!” Chloe started stopping after the car with Lila right on her heels. “Wait!”

Nope! Ishmael peeled out leaving the other girls in the dust.

Adrien and Marinette continued talking in the back leaving Ishmael to his thoughts.

Maybe if he could find some really heavy traffic that could give the two kids in his backseat more time to talk. He was not above admitting that he really like the baker girl for Adrien. Now if only the boy would drop his crush on Ladybug to pursue it.

Ishmael understood where the infatuation with the hero was coming from but at a certain point it just wasn’t possible. He had read enough comics to know that heroes dating civilians never ends well! Secret identities, misunderstandings, kidnapping and ransom on the regular. It was enough to give Ishmael anxiety just thinking about it. He was hired to protect Adrien. He would lose his mind if the boy kept getting taken hostage by akumas trying to use him as collateral for Ladybug’s earrings.

This job was stressful enough with Gabriel Agreste constantly breathing down his neck. He didn’t need the rest of his hair to go full grey because Adrien wanted to be the next Mary Jane Watson!

They pulled up to the site of the photo shoot and Ishmael waited in the car.

He liked to use this time to look up everything he could about parenting, abusive relationships, and adoption legalese. Not that he was secretly planning to expose Mr. Agreste’s gaslight parenting and adopt Adrien as his own until his mother can be found. That would be crazy.

The work gave him some reassurance though. He at least had some understanding and preparation if Mr. Agreste did ever go too far and action needed to be taken. He cared about that boy so much. Had been watching over him since he was a little kid. Came to see him as a son even if he couldn’t outwardly show it. He’d be damned if he didn’t get custody in the event that Mr. Agreste had an...accident.

Okay. That got a little dark. Ishmael wasn’t about to go and beat up his employer for not being more involved or directly invested in Adrien’s life. The thought was tempting though. So...so...tempting.

CRASH!

Oh what now? And there was an akuma turning everyone into giant flowers. Great. Does Hawkmoth ever take a day off?

Ishmael jumped out of the car to find Adrien and get him to safety when the akuma spotted him and shot what looked like seeds at him. He shielded himself from the assault only to then wake up some time later sprawled on the ground.

Had he gotten turned into a flower? What kind of nonsense was that? At least if he was back to normal that meant that Ladybug and Chat Noir had restored everything. Past events gave him reason to believe that Adrien was fine but he wouldn’t be able to stop worrying until he saw the boy.

Quickly he rushed onto set and saw Adrien stroll out into the open. Thank goodness he was safe. Ishmael stayed outside on set after that. After they wrapped up he was supposed to take Adrien straight home but when the boy came up to him with that hopeful look in his eye and an innocent plea to stop by the Dupain-Cheng bakery for a couple minutes for treats with Marinette, Ishmael couldn’t say no.

As long as they got home within the hour it shouldn’t be bad. The teenagers walked into the bakery and Ishmael had to resist the urge to go in and pick up some goodies for himself. He was working. If he wanted pastries he should have picked them up while Adrien was in school.

A few minutes went by and Adrien bid Marinette and her parents goodbye before heading back to the car. A little pink box in his hands. Oh great. Now he was gonna be stuck in the car with the smell of fresh baked pastries teasing him.

Adrien got inside and popped open the lid. “Hey Gorilla,” Adrien scooted forward in his seat and held out a macaron for him. “I got you one. It’s green tea and white chocolate flavored.”

Ishmael took the offered macaron with a small smile. Green tea and white chocolate was his favorite flavor.

They drove home and Ishmael tried not to show his annoyance when they entered and Mr. Agreste was waiting at the top of the stairs. What kind of holier than thou intimidation tactic was this?

You are not a king overlooking his subjects! Come down to eye level! Where did this attitude come from? Before this jerk face got big he was living in a rundown studio living off of microwave meals and patching thrift store jeans. You’re not a haughty as you make yourself out to be, Gabe! The fact that Emilie agreed to marry you was nothing short of a miracle considering what a prominent and wealthy family she came from. You were a tortured artist hobo next to a happy-go-lucky princess!

Calm down. Let the overbearing prick in his peppermint ensemble complain about being ten minutes late. It’ll be over soon.

Adrien looked disheartened by his father’s words. He apologized and tried to rationalize that they were only ten minutes late but Mr. Agreste was having none if it. And to top it all off he had Nathalie take the box Adrien had brought home from the bakery.

Berate the boy for being late. Pair him with a co-worker he doesn’t like. Rarely join son for meals. Barely talk to son. All of that was one thing but to take the poor boy’s treats? Was nothing sacred?

Now thoroughly miserable Adrien ascended up to his room. Nathalie handed the box from the bakery to Ishmael. “Dispose of this.” She glanced up at Adrien’s room before following Mr. Agreste into his office.

Ishmael knocked on the door to Adrien’s room but no answer came. Quietly he opened the door but didn’t see anyone. He must be in the bathroom. He deposited the box on Adrien’s desk and left.

He may not be able to protect Adrien from everything but at least he could help him in other ways.

[pocmuzings]

💘 + hana & suraj 😌

wipes sweaty shaking hands . .. . .

where they first met and how : at school ! not entirely sure on grade . . but definitely like . .  middle school . . fresh high school ? hana had just moved , and she saw suraj was in her class and o wow she was smitten she thought he was BEAUTIFUL

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved : their actual FLIRTING flirting stage was mainly just hana shamelessly hitting on him and staring at his ass . . so what . i think that lasted.. like a year and a half ? before she chilled out a little , and stopped just idolising him and began actually TALKING to him . and then it was still a lil flirty but it was actually like ‘ oh . . oh this guy has thoughts and is smart and thoughtful and sweet and not just a Hottie with a Body . . ‘ 

who fell for who first ( if applicable ): i think hana fell hard initially but it was legit just infatuation and her thinking he was hot . . i think from there . . they both kinda fell for each other ? once they started getting to know each other and working on school projects together . hana figured by then that he was way out of her league , so she’d kinda just given up and was happy just be Friends ? so she never even CONSIDERED suraj might like her too . 

where their first date was and what it was like : oH THIS ??? IM NOT ?? IM NOT SURE ? i feel like when suraj first got his license he probably picked her up and took her out somewhere , and brought her flowers he’d nervously ripped out of his neighbours yard . . and like . he tried to take her to a nice dinner but maybe his car stalled ? she spilled something on her nice skirt ?? it was a disaster lowkey , and ended with them in a carpark of a 7 / 11 sharing a bag of skittles and holding hands probably and it was . . an amazing date . hana didn’t even care that everything ‘ technically ‘ went wrong . 

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ): AHHH THIS IS HARD TO ANSWER ?? because there was a lot of dancing around it . a lot of uncertainty and jealousy and saying ‘ ha ha we’re just friends ‘ . i truly  don’t know who would have . . made the Move finally and asked out who and how ? i feel like it could have been suraj , but hana misunderstood and thought it was a Friendship thing , too . 

who proposes first: OH IT WAS SURAJ AND WE ALL KNOW IT  . i feel like hana maybe murmured it one night , them half asleep , her face smushed into his neck , like ‘ i wanna marry you ‘ , but it was suraj who literally had the Plan and the idea and the whole set up and he asked her and hana was both surprised and not surprised and SO HAPPY

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away : they didn’t really , in fact if anything they kept their relationship secret to EACH OTHER . like everyone else kinda knew they were into each other but they were both like . . ha ha . . nah . 

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ) : god u guys are really testing me today . . umm i feel like it was on new years and it was a little cliche , and hana and suraj were hosting a lil drinks together and had dinner with her parents beforehand and yeah . . ok . . suraj definitely did the thing with the Ring in the Glass , and him on his knee just as the fireworks went off . hana probably was laughing and crying and pulled out a ring SHE had for SURAJ in her purse and they’re both dumb idiots in love !

if they adopt any pets together : hana would adopt 2000958489 pets if she could , and suraj rlly has to put his foot down or he’ll come home to so many . luckily , most of their lives they’ve lived in apartments so having pets hasnt been a super high possibility . also . . hana is quite careless and has k*lled many , many of their goldfish . . 

who’s more dominant : hana is more outwardly dominant but only because she’s SO loud and outspoken and talk talk talk talk TALKS . but suraj is quietly dominant ? like he’s the one who’ll put his hand out and immediately Everyone Respects and Listens and Shuts The Hell Up . he can command a room very easily if he wanted to . as for s*XUALLY . . hana LOVES when suraj gets a lil . . u know . . commanding in the bedroom . but she is usually the one who initiates it , and then he will hesitate but get iNTO IT. 

where their first kiss was and what it was like: their first kiss was prom ! they both came with other dates and were acting like they weren’t jealous . hana’s date was a dick the whole night so she bailed , suraj’s date left early to go to some party . . it was them two in a carpark lowkey bickering and then . . oh the kiss just Happened !

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ): OH HANA GETS THEM EVERYTHING . they have mr & mrs everything . she got them his & her towels . . ‘ HANAS BOYFRIEND ‘ as a mug to suraj ( for him to take to work so no Woman talks to him dfkjnfnk ) . they also definitely have 3000 matching halloween costumes , and ugly christmas sweaters . 

how into pda they are : neither of them are actually super super pda-y besides a kiss goodbye / hello , and a hand hold . if they’re a little drunk or tipsy , hana definitely snuggles on in and just Holds him the entire night and presses kisses to his neck because she’s Addicted to him . 

who holds the umbrella when it rains : SURAJ LOOK AT HOW TALL HE IS . and he just does it silently . . he takes it and holds it , and ensures hana doesn’t stumble into her 3000th puddle , or accidentally hit someone with the umbrella ( when she holds the umbrella , she always smacks suraj in the face and doesnt even notice dkjnjnfkfn ) 

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ) : i don’t know if they have one atm ? it was their rooftop for a while probably , in their old apartment complex ? thatd be date night usually . currently ..  they’re pretty happy just having dinner together every night in their house in general ? 

who’s more protective: hana is definitely protective because she doesn’t like the way suraj’s family treats him , mainly . like he’s not a PUSHOVER per se , but he isn’t very confrontational and ppl sometimes take advantage of that , and around his family she KNOWS they hurt his feelings and she really really doesn’t like that  

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ): platonically , they share a bed a bunch of times before they become ‘ them ‘ . hana’s parents let suraj stay over literally whenever , and they have a Knowing look in their eyes and would tease them about ‘ leaving the door open ‘ ( and hana would groan very loudly whilst suraj would stammer out a ‘ no - i - never . . ) . the first time they had sex was also in hana’s bed lets be honest . it was careful and gentle and both of them laughing nervously and moving slowly and taking Care of each other . 

if they argue about anything : they don’t really argue with each other until they moved to mystic and things got Strained slightly . hana started acting quite obviously distant and it started stressing suraj out . other than that . . they argued maybe once or twice about surajs brother ? it was never anything TOO serious but it was a little bickering about how hana didn’t trust him and wished suraj didn’t hold out hope for him , and suraj defending himself and his brother . it’s never been anything too ugly ?? 

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ) : hana . she leaves hickies on suraj any damn day . she also definitely comes to his office and will put on a fresh coat of lipstick and kiss him stupid ( and hand him her panties before stepping out ) because she just LIKES seeing him all flustered . plus she . . maybe likes that people KNOW that its HER with suraj . 

who steals whose clothes and how often : oh we know hana wears his clothes constantly . she loves them . they smell like him . she wears them as pyjamas , or sometimes as a lazy sunday brunch look . he’ll be like ‘ babe did you see my ralph lauren button up - oh “  and there she is on the kitchen bench swinging her legs , grinning at him . 

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ) : they definitely swap ‘ big spoon / little spoon ‘ positions a lot . or they sleep holding hands , on different sides of the bed , but always touching in some way . 

what their favourite nonsexual activity is  : honestly . . just being around each other dfjkfnfn i know thats so cheesy but its true they love each other so much. their ABSOLUTE favourite thing to do is literally just talk about their days ? or like . cook for each other in the kitchen , or share music together , i feel ? just smth where they can be in their Space but not necessarily have to fill it with anything

how long they stay mad at each other : NOT LONG AT ALL !! barely anytime at all ! except . .One Time in the future when they have a huge blow out and theyre both utterly miserable , but all other small indifferences and ‘ arguments ‘ literally last an hour max . hana just can’t be mad at suraj bc he’s SO sweet and lovely and understanding she just . . always crawls back and knows shes the one being unreasonable 9  / 10 times . 

what their usual coffee / tea orders are : hana always gets a ridiculously bright, overly sugary, coloured drink , or always tries something new ( trying to make her way through the menu ) . i feel like suraj is either more of a long black , or cappuccino guy , or a tea drinker ? 

if they ever have any children together : oh ho ho . .   THIS . .  .woweee . . no, they do not ! not yet . . i want to say ? ?  mayhaps . . 

if they have any special pet names for each other : ‘  babe ‘ ‘ baby ‘ ‘ sweetie ‘ . hana calls suraj ‘ su ‘ sometimes ? 

if they ever split up and / or get back together : they . . split up exactly ONCE . and they get back together because they literally can’t live without each other. the split up isn’t anybodys fault per se , either . its that hana has suddenly a lot of trauma and memories resurface and she doesnt know how to deal with it , and suraj tries to help and it TERRIFIES her and causes this distance and rift between them and then she just thinks maybe he’d be better off without her , so she gives him back the ring and cue them both being utterly MISERABLE . they find their way back together though . they always do . 

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ) : despite hana being very messy and all over the place , their living space is quite minimalist and clean . hana’s work space is an explosion of materials and colour swatches and scrapbooks , but the house as a whole is neat and tidy and i feel we mainly have suraj to thank for that 

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like : they spent half the day at hana’s parents , and half the day at suraj’s , then spent the evening / night together . they mainly enjoyed coming back home to each other tbh ? suraj’s family is . . Difficult , and hana tries not to stay around them for too long bc she sees them Drain suraj . 

what their names are in each other’s phones: hana’s name for suraj is probably  ‘ BABY 💕🥰💕🥰💕🥰💕🥰💕 ‘ she probably renamed herself in suraj’s phone too , to like . . ‘ LOVE OF MY LIFE ‘ and he never changed it back dfkjfnkfn 

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ) : their tradition is usually having dinner together every night ? no matter who cooks or what they buy . or even if hana is working late on wedding stuff , suraj will come sit with her and bring her her dinner still . they also send each other Silly Goofy selfies every now and then , just randomly throughout the day 

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first : it really depends on the day ! during the week i think suraj usually falls asleep first ? and hana just rakes her fingers through his hair , because she usually works late and stuff , and tbh she loves when suraj is asleep bc hes a big golden retriever cuddled up to her . but everytime they watch a movie together , hana definitely falls asleep first and misses EVERYTHING  . as for waking up first , i feel like this must be suraj ? because hana loves sleep and also she doesnt sleep very WELL and sometimes has nightmares . 

who’s the big spoon / little spoon : they honestly take turns ok , there i said it . 

who hogs the bathroom : hana literally for every event . she loves makeup so much . she’ll be doing it for two hours , suraj sitting on the bed fully dressed being like ‘  baby i’m not pressuring u but uh . . we’re half an hour late to our own wedding dinner rehearsal ‘ dfkjndfnjk

who kills the spiders / takes them outside : THEY’RE BOTH DECENT AT THIS ? they both take the spiders outside . if its a particularly big one or scary one . . it goes to suraj though . hana PREFERS if suraj does it , but if he’s not around she’ll try her Best . 

[literary-masochism]

Midnight Sun: Chapter One - My Descent Into Madness

(reposted from my blog)

I kind of want to be dramatic and say I have a long, sordid history with Twilight, but I’m not sure that’s accurate. I do have a history, but it is one of pain, tears, and frustration.

I’m a firm believer in reading a ‘bad’ book to form your own opinion on it instead of just believing what you’re told...

The criticisms against Twilight were more than justified.

It took me multiple attempts to get through the first book – The first time I didn’t even finish the first chapter. I loathed Bella Swan from the moment we met her. She whined nonstop, she bitched nonstop, and was instantly so shallow and two-faced to everyone she met that I wanted to punch her in her (at the time) nondescript face.

But I tried again and again and finally finished the series. I remember crying during the Breaking Dawn because nothing was fucking happening and there was so much left in the book and I just wanted it to END.

Then my brain, trying to save me, made me forget everything about what I read. When I realized what had happened, I checked my Goodreads to make sure I did, in fact, read those books and they weren’t just a fever dream sent by the forces of evil to torment me.

As much as I appreciated the attempt, I earned those scars... at least audiobooks are easier to get through, even though I had to pause them to rage, again, at the idiocy.

And now... Now we have Midnight Sun. I believe I skimmed the leaked book but never gave it any real attention... so, of course, the full book gets released the day after my 34th birthday.

Joy.

But it gives me an excuse to try something I always wanted to do: Snarking bad books... because if I have to suffer, you might as well too!

So... without further delay... here is the first chapter, as seen by me, of Midnight Sun.

Chapter 1: First Sight

We open up with Edward being a melodramatic prick about having to go to school and how boring it is.

THIS WAS THE TIME OF DAY WHEN I MOST WISHED I WERE ABLE TO SLEEP.

High school.

Or was purgatory the right word? If there were any way to atone for my sins, this ought to count toward the tally in some measure. The tedium was not something I grew used to; every day seemed more impossibly monotonous than the last.

Followed quickly by how much humans, especially teenagers, suck absolute ass.

When it came to the human mind, I’d heard it all before and then some. Today, all thoughts were consumed with the trivial drama of a new addition to the small student body. It took so little to work them up. I’d seen the new face repeated in thought after thought from every angle. Just an ordinary human girl. The excitement over her arrival was tiresomely predictable—it was the same reaction as one would get from flashing a shiny object at a group of toddlers. Half the sheep-like males were already imagining themselves infatuated with her, just because she was something new to look at. I tried harder to tune them out.

Don’t you just love him already?

This is only the first page... It’s not even a full page... Edward tells us how he tries not to listen to his siblings then tells us exactly what his siblings are thinking.

He shames Rosalie for thinking about how hot she is, but since that’s her only personality trait we ever got in the entire saga (besides bitch), I’m not that worked up over it. She’s hot and she knows it.

Emmett is just thinking about kicking Jasper’s ass which, I feel, is a goal everyone should aspire to because Jasper’s thoughts...

And Jasper was… suffering.

GOOD

Alice mentally calls his name and Edward is kind enough to let us know that it’s just the same as if someone said it out loud... you know, because we’re too dumb to work that out ourselves.

Also, he is so thankful that the name EDWARD has ‘fallen out of style’ in the last few decades.

Alice is worried about Jasper slaughtering everybody within a ten-mile radius because he’s become a literal statue (because Meyerpires are made of stone and this is in no way a ripoff of Anne Rice) and, stupidly, she asks Edward how he’s doing...

I guess Alice forgot she could, you know, SEE INTO THE FUTURE. Because checking to see if your boyfriend is about to go on a murder spree is a telepathy situation.

She relaxed. Let me know if it gets too bad.

I moved only my eyes, up to the ceiling above, and back down.

Thanks for doing this.

YOU CAN SEE THE GOD DAMN FUTURE!

Was it really necessary to experiment this way? Wouldn’t the safer path be to just admit that he might never be able to handle his thirst as well as the rest of us could, and not push his limits? Why flirt with disaster?

YES! WHY?!

For a group of vampires that don’t want to kill humans, so we’re told, they certainly don’t give a fuck if they kill humans.

It had been two weeks since our last hunting trip. That was not an immensely difficult time span for the rest of us. A little uncomfortable occasionally—if a human walked too close, if the wind blew the wrong way. But humans rarely walked too close. Their instincts told them what their conscious minds would never understand: We were a danger that must be avoided.

So... which is it?

Edward thinks about how oblivious the humans around them are and how they avoid the ‘odd-looking’ group.

Okay, if I had to guess, the avoidance has more to do with how fucking weird you are. A group of five incredibly attractive (And yet odd-looking? Sure Meyer) teenagers sitting by themselves with full trays of food that they don’t eat, all while wearing designer clothing. They don’t talk to each other, they barely even look at each other...

That’s fucking weird. THEY’RE WEIRD.

Meyer: They’re either so attractive as to lure their prey in for the kill or they’re so inhuman looking that no one wants to go near them. It can’t be both.

Anyway, a girl walks by and Edward starts frothing at the mouth while he and Jasper get a vampire erection over Jasper imagining MURDERING AN INNOCENT GIRL.

Also, calling her a ‘little girl’ is very creepy in an entirely different way. Just sayin’.

Edward snaps Jasper out of it and Alice lies and says he wasn’t going to slaughter an innocent human being in the middle of the cafeteria.

We had to stick together, Alice and I. It wasn’t easy, being the freaks among those who were already freaks.

Shut the ever-loving-fuck up.

And Alice, ever-so-helpfully, reminds Jasper to think of humans as people... because, you know, they aren’t really. Not compared to vampires anyway.

Someone mentally says the name ‘Edward’ so Edward turns to them as though they had actually called his name. Only it was in his head, not in real life. In case you didn’t catch that. That Edward is telepathic... so he hears thoughts as though they were being spoken to him. That’s why he looked over when someone thought his name.

In case you didn’t understand what was going on.

This is the first time Edward sees Bella and... he gives no fucks. But wait! Turns out it was Jessica Stanley thinking about him, not Bella!

In fact, Jessica thinks Bella is already crushing on all the Cullens.

Good for you, Jessica, not assuming Bella is only after the undead D. Rosalie/Bella shippers thank you.

Edward is relieved Jessica got over her fixation on him (because it’s totally normal for teenager girls to crush on weird-looking weirdos). He then goes on to show he has no idea how teenage girls (or adult women for that matter) work:

What a relief it had been when she’d gotten over her misplaced fixation. It used to be nearly impossible to escape her constant, ridiculous daydreams. I’d wished, at the time, that I could explain to her exactly what would have happened if my lips, and the teeth behind them, had gotten anywhere near her. That would have silenced those annoying fantasies.

That is the exact fantasy most TwiHards were having.

Jessica complains that she doesn’t see why all the boys are looking at Bella, thinking she’s ‘not even pretty’. I know this is supposed to make Jessica unlikable but, you know what? That is a very wounded teenage thought process. It’s immature and turning the blame somewhere else but that’s teenagers in a nutshell.

Edward comments on Jessica’s new obsession with Mike Newton – creepily calling him a child.

There is the implication that Jessica’s not a nice person because she’s being outwardly nice to Bella while bad-mouthing her mentally and... that’s such a Christian mentality: the idea that your thoughts matter as much as your actions. Just putting that out there because, clearly, we can see what Meyer’s opinion on that is… as long as it’s one of the Cullens or Bella doing the thinking, it’s fine! In Twilight, Bella was putting down everyone who looked at her until the hideously beautiful Edward was so mean to her.

No, I didn’t forget that shit.

Jessica continues being a teenager girl, hoping that with Bella’s ever-shining light of beauty shining beside her that maybe Senpai Mike will notice her.

And, of course, Edward is an asshole because he’s upset that a teenager girl has teenage thoughts.

He tells Emmett what’s going down with the new girl and tries to listen in on Bella’s thoughts to see what she thinks about all this.

And, because Bella doesn’t actually have thoughts, all Edward hears in the unending howling void.

Edward tells us he has to use his powers to protect his family! He has to listen to everyone’s thoughts in case anyone gets suspicious about the beautiful/weird/attractive/repulsive family in their midst.

I feel like that would be easier if Edward didn’t actively try to ignore everyone.

But sometimes people get it right and the Cullens have to disappear before... I don’t know. Meyerpires are indestructible by humans to the point that they can outrun nuclear bombs. The Vultori might come whine at them for exposing the secret but by that point, the Cullens disappearing would just draw even more attention.

Edward tries to listen to the new girl but gets nothing. He turns to check and all he can see is the brown-void eyes of Bella.

There’s also a bit in there where Edward wonders if Bella is still sitting there because she must be since Jessica is still talking. He turns and sees Bella still sitting there because of course she is, because Jessica is still talking to her. You see, Bella was still there and Edward suspected as much as Jessica was still talking to her because she was still sitting there.

He gets another hard-on as Bella blushes. He comments that she “looked surprised” as she “unknowingly absorbed the signs of subtle differences between her kind and mine.”

Bitch, you don’t know that. You can’t read her fucking thoughts. You’re just assuming this bullshit. This is some of what I remember from skimming the first Midnight Sun. You just make up shit about her personality to suit what you want! Reality is completely optional.

And we get this:

[...] as she listened to Jessica’s tale; and something more… Fascination? It wouldn’t be the first time. We were beautiful to them, our intended prey.

You know, the hyper attractiveness that turns people away because of how odd-looking they are but also draws people to them while also making people avoid them because they’re so inhuman.

And yet, though her thoughts had been so clear in her odd eyes—odd because of the depth to them—I could hear only silence from the place she was sitting. Just… silence.

Yes, because she’s the void personified.

Try and keep up.

Edward decides that he’s just not trying hard enough and stops blocking out all the teenager chatter – you know, the chatter he constantly listens to to ensure the safety of his family? That chatter.

Also, shout out to Ashley Dowling for obviously having a crush on Bella.

Angela Weber is the only one not thinking about Bella. I’m sure Meyer’s just trying to show how ‘unusually kind’ she is but... acting like a completely normal person doesn’t really qualify as being ‘unusually kind’.

Then Meyer, again, tries too hard to make Jessica unlikable by having her mentally calling Bella an idiot for asking about Edward Cullen. But since Bella is an idiot...

We get the infamous “He’s gorgeous, obviously.” line even though all of student body finds the Cullens odd-looking and want nothing to do with them.

And Edward gets this strong impulse to protect Bella from Jessica’s nefarious plots to... get mildly more popular for the short time people care that there’s a new student at school. He describes how fragile Bella looks and how translucent her skin is...

Then we get this little gem where Meyer, apparently, forgot Edward can’t read Bella’s mind while describing things he’d only know if he could read her mind.

It was unbelievably frustrating! I could easily see that it was a strain for her to sit there, to make conversation with strangers, to be the center of attention. I could sense her shyness from the way she held her frail-looking shoulders, slightly hunched, as if she was expecting a rebuff at any moment.

This is a one-way street, Meyer. Edward has to stay his ass in his own lane.

Edward informs us that, despite not being able to hear Bella’s thoughts, he’s not going to let himself get too interest in them just because they’re hidden from him... then immediately says he’s going to find out what she thinks no matter what it takes. No matter how petty, trivial, self-absorbed, whiny, and shallow they are! He will find out!

Emmett interrupts Edward’s obliviousness to his own faults and asks if Bella is afraid of them yet.

“They sit by themselves, never talk to anyone, and stare at the wall.” Absolutely terrifying.

Lunch is over and the Cullens to go their classes. Edward is an asshole prepared to be bored because he’s so much smarter than the biology teacher.

He also tells us the reason he has a table to himself is because everyone is avoiding him and they were too stupid to know why. Yes, that is the word he uses.

Such a Prince Charming, isn’t he?

Again, Edward laments his inability to sleep when Angela leads Bella into class! Then Edward remembers he was totally thinking about Bella just now and not wishing he was asleep!

Also, Angela? Shut up.

The Void comes in and Edward still can’t hear her and, in one of the few moments I like, he worries that he’s losing his gift. Don’t worry, nothing comes out of that thought.

Edward notes that the only available seat is beside him so he clears a bit of room for her, feeling sorry that she’s doomed to spend so much time next to his hideousness. BUT THEN!

Bella Swan walked into the flow of heated air that blew toward me from the vent.

Her scent hit me like a battering ram, like an exploding grenade. There was no image violent enough to encompass the force of what happened to me in that moment.

Now comes a page long description of Edward losing his shit. He tells us, multiple times, how much he wants to eat her, how he’ll have to get rid of the witnesses, blah blah blah. It’s basically the same paragraph repeated a few times... But you know what? It’s better than the whiny shit we’ve been getting and it’s nice to actually see the ‘good’ vampires struggle in a not completely idiotic way... so I ain’t that mad at it.

I was actually enjoying it a bit until Meyer stuck her dumb in my chocolate by having Edward rip a bit of wood off the desk. Like no one would have heard that. Or wonder why there’s a pile of sawdust under Edward’s desk.

Edward... I know that you’re far older than anyone in that room but... calling people children is just fucking creepy. Stop.

He calculates the best way to slurp Bella up and kill witnesses in the most efficient way (interrupted occasionally by an eye-roll worthy melodramatic thought about murdering innocents). I would like this if it wasn’t such a stark reminder of how Edward doesn’t actually give two fucks about humans – he just doesn’t want to disappoint his Not-Dad... who, from what we’ve seen in the guide (shudder) doesn’t really seem to care either as long as he’s not the one doing the murdering. They don’t kill people not because they care or want to protect them but because Dad said not to.

Bella sits down beside him (And he’s absolutely sure she’s terrified of him though she’s shown no sign of that and HE CAN’T READ HER THOUGHTS.)

Anyway, he whines that now he has to kill her for existing.

This is another little plothole that bothers me: he doesn’t have to stay in the classroom. He can ask to be excused, say he’s feeling sick or he has to use the bathroom. Yeah, it would draw a few moments of attention but, you know, IT’S BETTER THAN PLOTTING THE MURDER OF THIRTY PEOPLE.

Meyer decides to call me out on that thought and claims:

Every life in this room was in danger while she and I were in it together. I should run. I wanted to run, to get away from the heat of her next to me, and the punishing pain of the burning, but I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that if I unlocked my muscles to move, even just to stand, I wouldn’t lash out and commit the slaughter I’d already planned.

Fuck you, he only needs to resist for the half-a-dozen seconds it’d take to get out of the room. But no, he’d rather try and resist for an hour instead.

He, again, talks about Bella’s skin and calls it ‘See-through’.

Sexy

Edward’s becomes increasingly paranoid that Bella’s ‘trying to hide her secrets from him’.

Chillax, Eddie. She ain’t that deep.

He changes tactics. He’ll try to get her alone and his plan for this is flawless!

If he asks to walk her to her next class, she has to be polite and say yes! Even though he’s certain she’s terrified of him (because he completely fails at reading human reactions if he can’t read their minds), she’ll have to do the polite thing! Because reasons!

While he doesn’t realize how stupid that is, he does notice that everyone with an interest in ladies is already obsessing over Ms. Swan so people will probably notice him leading her away like the serial killer he is.

So he plots to wait until she gets home to murder her.

And you guys, he just hates her so much! I mean, he hates himself but he hates her for making him hate himself but also her because she exists but also himself but also her but also himself...

And apparently that was his entire thought process for the next hour because class is suddenly over!

Edward runs out of the room – you know, the thing he said he couldn’t do before because even just moving might prompt him to murder everything – and mopes in his car where he realizes that ‘Wait... I don’t have to do the thing’.

He wonders why Alice didn’t break their cover and draw attention to themselves by barging into Edward’s class to help him get rid of either his murder-boner or the bodies caused by his murder-boner. He decides that she’s focusing on making sure Jasper doesn’t get a murder-boner and she’s concentrating ‘vary’ hard on that.

(Is pointing out typos a bit too petty? Maybe but I did it.)

And Edward feels a new burn coursing through his body! The burn of SHAME!

(I'm glad I got to use this Gif so early on!)

I should say that, through out all of this, Edward’s been going on about his little monster (not that one) growling around his head but all I can imagine are the critters from Critters Attack:

He decides to just avoid Bella as much as possible while being in the same building as her and goes to try and change his classes halfway through the semester.

He startles Mrs. Cope by being so vampirey, though humans are too stupid to notice that, because he came in quietly while she wasn’t paying attention. Her panties are immediately soaked at the sight of teenage boy bod (ew) and asks how she could help him. Eddie lays it on thick because... I don’t know. I’m pretty sure she’s not in charge of the classes, so there’s no reason for him to make her flood the office like this...

Even he’s uncomfortable but he still does it. Gross.

Also, statistically, women prefer men close to their own age or slightly older, so...

We get a whole paragraph of Mrs. Cope thinking of how smart and perfect the Cullens are – actually thinking the line ‘Perfect Cullen’.

When she says that he can’t change or drop the class, he tries to stare her into submission, lamenting that his eyes aren’t gold but the terrifying black instead.

Uh... dark dark brown, almost black eyes are pretty common and can be very alluring. Have you forgotten Ben Barnes exists?! Here, I'll remind you:

I’d be more freaked out by the gold.

Bella, of course, interrupts this awkward seduction and sends Edward running with his tail between his legs. He passes by some random guy in the parking lot and, since Edward is so all important, the guy wonders where Edward came from and, instead of deciding he must not have noticed him before (Like a normal person not in a SMeyer book would do) he decides his imagination is getting the better of him.

Edward makes it to the Volvo where the others are waiting. He takes off like a bat out of hell (lawl) and in a moment of stupid where Meyer, once again, forgets how her characters's powers work:

She looked ahead for me now. We both processed what she saw in her head, and we were both surprised.

“You’re leaving?” she whispered.

You see... Alice’s visions are based on people’s decisions... Edward didn’t know he was leaving until he saw that Alice saw he was leaving... which makes no sense in the context of what we’ve been given.

And so, after a moment of Edward thinking about killing Bella, he decides to flee the entire country.

And that’s the end of chapter one! It took me way longer than I expected and I used 74 tabs... This is going to be an experience and a half...

Until next time, I'm out!

[interludcs]

          BENEDETTA   PORCAROLI   ,   CIS   FEMALE   ,   SHE   /   HER   →   according   to   the   school   records   ,   GIOVANNA   ELOISA   ARGENTI   has   been   attending   sacred   heart   for   the   past   two   years   .   i   last   saw   them   hanging   around   stan's   place   ;   i   think   they   were   tying   cherry   stems   into   knots   .   at   twenty   -   one   ,   gio   has   been   studying   classics   and   get   this   ,   i   heard   that   her   bloodline   has   long   been   cursed   to   succumb   to   inevitable   madness   and   it’s   been   the   cause   of   many   mysterious   deaths   in   the   family   already   —   figure   it’s   true   ?   everyone   around   here   always   associates   them   with   biting   into   an   apple   only   to   realize   it’s   rotten   ,   a   bloody   nose   dripping   onto   silk   stockings   ,   and   the   distorted   screech   of   a   violin   coming   from   another   room   .   in   the   time   since   these   strange   happenings   ,   they   have   encountered   unexplained   occurrences   .  

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     QUICK  STATS  !

full  name  :   giovanna   eloisa   argenti

nickname(s)  :   gio   ,   gigi   (   although   she   likes   to   think   she   outgrew   it  )

zodiac  :   scorpio   sun   ,   gemini   moon   (  click   !  )

sexuality  :   bisexual   .

occupation  :   student   &   heiress   .

birthplace  :   rome   ,   italy   .

current residence  :   sacred   heart   academy   . 

pinterest   :   (   click   !   )  

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     BACKSTORY  !  (   tw   :   depression   ,   murder   ,   suicide   &   drug   abuse   )

born   in   1953   to   one   of   the  wealthiest   families   in   italy   !   the   argenti's   posses   a   ridiculous  and   tbh   kinda   disgusting   fortune   because   of   their   distant   ties   to   the   old   italian   monarchy   ...   and   are   also   long   rumored   to   have   been   cursed   hundreds   of   years   ago   as   divine   punishment    for   the   sins   of   a   past    family   member   . 

the   family    has    a    long   and   gruesome   history   —   good   husbands   turning   into   killers   ,   more   than   one   argenti   woman    flinging   herself   off   one   of    the   many   balconies   in   the   family   estate   ,   children   who   hear   voices   in   the   night   .   more   often    than    people   care   to   count   ,   these   fits   of   madness   are   seemingly   inexplicable   .        

giovanna   was   born   on   chilly   autumn   night   .   she   would   be   her   mother’s   first   and   last   child   ,   but   lucianna   argenti   saw   her   baby   girl   as   anything   but   a   miracle   .   when   she   was   only   five   months   old   ,   a   nanny   discovered   the   woman   trying   to   drown   giovanna   in   the   bathtub   ,   stuck   in   a   trance   she’d   later   have   no   recollection   of   being   in   .   long   in   denial   of   the   family   curse   ,    marco   argenti   hired   nearly   every   notable   doctor   in   italy   ,   but   none   of   them   could   find   a   sound   explanation   for   the   violent   and   nonsensical   trances   his   wife   would   experience   for   the   next   three   years   before   ultimately   taking   her   own   life   .        

leaving   giovanna   to   grow   up   all   alone   in   the   too   big   family   estate   at   the   hands   of   nannies   ,   marco   argenti   would  spend   the   better   years   of   his   only   daughter’s   life   traveling   all   around   europe   ,   desperate   to   shake   the   ghost   of   his   wife   ,   but   never    succeeding   . 

despite   all   the   tragedy   early   on   in   gio’s   life   ,   she   had   an   almost   typical   upbringing   for   someone  in   her   socioeconomic   circle   .   a   childhood   devoid   of   the   love   her   parents   were   supposed   to   give   ,   nannies   who   gave   in   to   the   rotten   demands   only   a    wealthy   child   and   sole   heir   could   conjure   up   ,    a    house   that   never   felt   like   a   home   .

by   the   time   she   was   a   teenager   ,   gio   had   grown   up   to   be   a   different   kind   of   monster   —   not   the   madwomen   her   classmates   would   snicker   about   when   speaking   ill   of   the   blood   that   flowed   through   her   veins   ,    but   something   perhaps   more   dangerous   ,   a   selfish   girl   too   clever   and   too   beautiful   for   her   own   good   . 

on   the   eve   of   her   18th   birthday   her   father   makes   his   grand   return   home  ,   gone   so   long   he   mistakes   his   daughter   for   a   maid   before   a   groundskeeper   politely   informs   him   of   his   mistake   .   causing   more  tension   still   was   the   brand   new   gold   band   on   his   ring   finger   ,   as   well   as   the   announcement   that   he’s   selling   the   estate  ,   and   that   gio’s   to   come   live   with   his   new   wife   and   three   small   children   in   france   .

the   day   giovanna   argenti   turns   18   is   a   day   she   can   no   longer   remember  save  for   waking   up   in   the   remnants   of   a   burnt   down   home   ,   ash   caked   underneath   her   fingernails   ,   smoke   burning   her   lungs   .   servants   who   have   been   loyal   to   the   argenti   family   for   decades   will   later   testify   that  there   had   been   a   terrible   accident   lighting   the   birthday   cake   that   night   ,   that   marco  argenti   had   never   returned   home   the   night   before   ,    and   that   the   family   of   four   in   paris   crying   murder   were   nothing    but   scammers   after   the   family   fortune   .

gio   spends   the   next   year   scrambling   to   piece   together   the   mysterious   events   ,   a   tiny   voice   inside   her   head   insisting   something   wasn’t   right   with   the   story   she’d   been   fed   by   the   people   who  raised   her   ,   albeit   confused   as   to   why   they’d   hide   the   truth   if   something   sinister   had   indeed   happened  that   night  .  she   could   have   sworn   the   memory   of   her   father   coming   home   was   a   real   one   —   until   she   gets   a   letter   in   the   mail  ,   signed   marco   argenti   ,   polaroid  attached  ,   a   blurry   shot   of   a   man   who   bears   the   family   resemblance  standing   in   front   of   the   statue   of   liberty   .

cue   the   drug   abuse   (   coke   being   her   poison  of   choice   )   ,   the   reckless   and   dangerous   stunts   all   in   the   name   of   having   a   good   time   ,   the   mind   numbing   sex   with   strangers   .   heart   heavy   with   the   idea   that   she   was   indeed   going   insane   ,   following   in   the   footsteps   of   all   the   argenti’s   that   had   come   before   her   ,   giovanna   was   left   with   the   haunting   sensation   that   her   life   was   already   doomed   ,   and   so   she   might   as   well   make   the   most   of   it   .  on   the   flip   side   of   this   she   also   came   to   the   realization   that   she   could   pretty   much   ....   do   whatever   she   wanted   and   get   away   with   it   ?   people   already   thought   she   was   cursed   and   crazy   ...   might   as    well   act   the   part   ...   a    little    self   fulfilling   prophecy  ...   as   a   treat   <3      

in   a   feeble   attempt   to   save   her   from  an   untimely   and   rather   stupid   demise   ,   she   is   shipped   off   to   sacred   heart   academy   ,   a   place   a   distant   cousin   once   attended   .   mind   clouded   by   addiction   and   unresolved   trauma   alike   ,   giovanna   can’t   be   sure   the   strange   happenings   at   sacred   heart   are   real   at   all   or   just   a   product   of   a   dark   and   overactive   imagination   .   

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     PERSONALITY  +  TIDBITS  !

first   &   foremost   ...   gio   was   inspired   loosely   by   some   sexy   women   including   miss   effy   stonem   from   skins   ,   choi   sooji   from   tempted   ,   ludo   from   baby   ,   villanelle   from   killing   eve   &   lady   macbeth   minus   the   murder   (   ...   unless   ?   😏   )   ,   as   well   as   more   lana   del   rey   songs   than   i   care   to   admit   so   we   won’t   be   talking   about   it   aha   x

yes   what   i’m   trying   to   say   is   she’s   a   little   unhinged   ...   but   in   that   fun   sexy   way   like   when   amy   dunne   gives   the   cool   girl   speech   in   gone   girl   .

speaking   of    cool   girls   ...   gio   is   one   😌   you   would   think   growing   up   with   a   last   name   that’s   literally   famous   for   being   cursed    would   have   put   a   bigger    damper   on   her    popularity   among   people   but   there’s   a   certain   fascination   gio   holds   and   she   knows   it   .   this   isn’t   to   say   she’s   got   a   lot   of   friends   because   she   definitely   doesn’t   ,   she   just   knows   how   to   get   people’s   attention   .

at   her    core   she   is   clever   ,    charming   ,    everything   someone   who   grew   up   with   money   is   bound   to   be   .   but   unlike   the   selfishness   of    other   trust   fund   babies   ,   gio’s    operates   on   a   different   scale   .   she’s   self   obsessed   ,    not   because   she   views   herself   as   better   than   anyone   else   ,   but  because   she’s    so   haunted    by   the   idea   that   something   terrible   and   wicked   exists   inside   of   her   and   it’s   only   a   matter   of   time   before   darkness   takes   over   .

in   an   effort   to   counter   that   weight   ,    she   breezes   through   life   without   taking   much   seriously   .    toying   with   people   ,   the   mind   games   she   plays   ,    it’s   all   an   effort   to   distract   herself   ,   to   entertain   her   brain   with   thoughts   that   somehow   seem   lighter   in   comparison   to   her   own   inevitable   self   destruction   although   the   people   she   plays   with   might   say   otherwise   . 

consequences   should   scare   her   more   than   they   do   ,   but   honestly   she’s   got   a   penchant   for   doing   the   things   deemed   bad   for   her   .   on   one   hand   she   figures   little   matters   if   she’s   truly   cursed   ,    on   the   other   hand   she   figures   if    she   is   cursed   than   whatever   consequence   comes   her   way   is   deserved   .

flirty   ,    but   most   of   the   time   it   never   means   anything   .   she   is   prone   to   intense   infatuations   ,   however   ,   all   of   which   have   ended   tragically   so   far   so   proceed   with   caution   .

she’s   definitely   someone   most   people   would   know   of   ,    as    she’s   got   an   almost   bad   habit   of   striking   up   conversations   with   whoever   ,   but   ask   someone   to   name   her   favorite   color   or   any   profound   fact   about   her   and   they   probably   wouldn’t   be   able   to   .

very  nosy   due   to   her   childhood   of   people   watching  and   intensely   studying   the   adults   who   raised   her   ,   and   so   the   habit   has   carried   on   into   her   adult   life   .   she   won’t   outwardly   pry   ,   but   if   you   catch   her   interest   she’ll   unabashedly   observe   you   like   she’s   an   actor   trying   to   better   understand   their   part   .

tons   of   fun   at   parties   ,   but   also   in   class   ,   considering   she’s   snorting   enough   coke   on   the   daily   to   treat   school   like   it’s   one   big   social   gathering   .   life’s   a   beach   baby   <3

studying   classics   because   she   likes   how   intense   the   stories   and   history   are  ,   but   she’s   surprised   herself   by   being   rather   good   at   the   language   aspect   of   the   major   .

deep   deep   down   ...  there   is   the   desire   to  be   understood   and   loved   despite   whatever   uninhibited   thing   she’s   convinced   lurks   around   inside   her  but   that   is��  constantly   in   conflict   with   the   idea   that   she’s   fundamentally   undeserving   of   real   affection   ...   just  girly   things  you   know    🥺

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     WANTED  CONNECTIONS  !  (  all  open  to  all  genders  )

 my   brain   is   quite   literally   all   rot   rn   im   just   gonna   list   stuff   with  minimal   elaboration  please   vibe   with   me   ...

people   she   gets   high   with  <3   

ex   infatuations   that   ended   tragically   lets   get   that   angst

spare   parental   figures   ...   any   professors   out   there   want   a   demon   child   who   will   idolize   u   but   not   know   how   to   deal   with   that   so   they   just   act   up   all   the   while   hoping   for   forgiveness   and   the   attention   they   never   got   from   their   own   parents   </3      

speaking   of   professors   i   will   play   into   the   problematic  trope   of   a   student   being   obsessed   with   a   professor   -___-   solely   because  i   would   lov   to   have   gio   go   full   throttle   crazy   ...   as   a   treat   ...   this   has   nothing   to   do   with   that   one   line   in   lorde’s   writer   in   the   dark   u   know   the   one   truly   this   does   not   have   to   be   reciprocated   at   ALL            

a   confidant   /    someone   she   probably   considers   her   closest  friend   who   she   is   constantly  disgusted   with   herself   for   opening   up   to   but   also   truly   not   able   to   live   without   so   it’s   a   fun  cycle   of   push   and   pull   but  truly  she’d   probably  die  for   them  just   don’t  ask   her   that   she’ll   say   no   

i   think   it   would   be   fun   to    have   someone   who   knows   about   the   supposed   argenti   curse   maybe   their  family   had   some   associations   to   gio’s   or   maybe   they   spent   some  time  in  italy   at   some   point   growing   up   and   met   her   there   idk   im   cute   not   smart   ...

we’ve  all   been   begging  and  begging   i   will   jump   on   the   bandwagon   and   ask   for   a   sexy   rival   doesnt   mean   anything   if   u   say   i   hate  u   after   hooking  up     

someone   she   keeps   bumping   into  when   she’s   sneaking   out   past   curfew   or   cutting   class   and   at   first   it   was   like   dude   seriously   do   we   have   to   start   alternating   but   now   it   turned  into   like   wow   i   really   hope   we   bump   into   each   other   again   would   u   like   a  cigarette   wanna   listen   to   some   music   together   

 someone   she   sees   a   lot   at   stan’s   place   .   perhaps   on   campus   they   have   a   very   different  relationship   but   off   campus   they  feel   free   to  have   another

current   hookups   we   love   to   see   it   there’s   so   many   directions   to   go   in    maybe   its   purely   a   casual   thing   ,    maybe   it’s   casual   for   gio   but   not   for   them   ,   or    maybe   gio’s   the   one   like   worm   maybe   i  would   like   more   than   sex   ,    maybe   it’s   like   a   we   only   hookup   when   we’re   high   at   parties   thing  ,   perhaps   it’s   a   secret   hookup   thing   so   it   gets   angsty      

maybe   a   rival   or   someone   she   swears   she   hates   and   they   swear   the   same   but   they   accidentally   bond   along   the   way   and   it’s   like   well   i   thought   i   hated   u   but   perhaps  we   are   more   similar   than   we   thought   but   also   we   only   know   how   to   be  enemies  so   how   do   we   even   move   past   this   ...

perhaps   someone   gio   goes   to   when   she’s   especially   fucked   up   and   they   take   care   of   her   /   start   to   resent   her   for   seemingly   caring   so   little   abt   her   own   well   being   and   she   resents   them   for   caring   too  much   bc   it’s   not   liked   she   asked   but   she   keeps   showing   up   at   their   door   and   they   keep   letting   her   in   

someone   she   can   be   in   cahoots   with   ...   go   absolutely   bonkers   with   knowing   they   won’t   judge   her   and   she   won’t   judge   them

perhaps   someone   she   can   be   a   bad   influence   on

also   someone   who   makes   her   want   to   be   a   better   person   bc   we   need   balance

a   group   of   girls   gio   can   be   like   men   r   disgusting   with   but   then   they  catch   her   hooking   up   with   said   stinky   man   and   it’s   just   a   cycle   like   please   get   some  help  luv   

a   dealer   mayhaps   ?   

someone   whose   favorite   pen   she   stole   but   blatantly   lied   and   said   she   didn’t   steal   it   but   she   uses   it   everyday  in   class   so   u   know   she   did   in  fact   steal   ur   pen

ok   she’s   out   of   juice   i’m   she      

i   wont   lie   to   u   ive   been   writing   this   all  damn   day   …   but   we   finally   made   it   baby   😭😭😭   im   sosososo  sorry   for   the   length   &  the   wait   …   also   i   feel   like   my   charas   always   change   a  lil   once   i   actually   start   plotting   &   writing   so   sorry   again   if   u   see   me   finally   writing   as   giovanna   on   the   dash   and   ur   like   lit   rally   who   is   that   …  JSDBWJBDWBDJ   also   side   note   i   promise   u   im   almost  done   word   vomiting   all   over   the   place   but   it   must   b   said   ...   u   know   how   there’s   that   trope   that   supposed   insanity   is   like   not   always  real    like   how   female   hysteria   was   a   whole   as   thing   or   like   how   in   haunting   of   hill   house   where   the   charas   weren’t   really   haunted   by   ghosts   at   all   more   so   by   their   trauma   ...   that   was   my   whole   inspo   with   the   argenti’s   like   are   they   even  cursed   at   all   ?   who   is   to   say   ...   PLEASE  come  message  me  on  discord  to  plot   !   @ you are my soulmate ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172   maybe  …   give   this   a   like   if   u   wanna   …   do   that   hehehe   thank   u   for   reading   all   this   ur   so   brave   for   that   stay   sexy   stan   loona  x  

[vfdbaudelairefile13]

Dear reader,

I must caution you about this next chapter. This is the chapter where we continue to explore creepy undertones pertaining to Olaf as a character. If you are not comfortable with reading about predatory behavior, comments ranging from vague to slightly explicit (on the topic of these predatory behaviors), a young girl being restrained, a young girl being threatened, physical violence against a minor, threats to a minor, or vague to slightly specific comments about pedophilia, a creepy fuck stroking a young girl's hair, cheek, and leg... I would suggest skipping specific parts of this chapter. Since this time around it's spread around the VIOLET half of the chapter (although a few vague hints could be found in Klaus and Sunny's section).

Please read with caution. If anything becomes too triggering or makes you too uncomfortable I am happy to summarize in vague details (when going over certain parts) so you are still able to follow the story. Please if you can't read this chapter in its entirely, I will be more than happy to explain the events of the chapter in a less descriptive way.

_______________________________________________________________ Friendly Reminder:

I, Susan, the author of Misery Loves Company also wants to make it abundantly clear that THE TOPICS/TRIGGERS IN THIS CHAPTER are things I frown upon entirely. I do NOT condone pedophilia at all, whatsoever. And I believe it is NOW in my fic that I will say this: if you ship the disgusting vile mess of a 'ship' that is Violaf...I would prefer if you stop interacting with my page, my story, and any of my works. Just because I put it in my story does not mean I condone it. I am using it as a element to explain why this sort of shit is WRONG.

If we are being abundantly honest, it is these segments that I have the hardest time writing and editing. It is a long, hard process and it never gets easier. No matter how vague the comment Olaf or even Esme make is, it is never easy. It makes my blood boil, my skin crawl and my stomach churn.

I don't feel right saying 'enjoy' because this is a tough pill to swallow.

So read with caution. Let me know if you feel I went too far or if you just want to comment like normal. I am not perfect. I am open to criticism. I just needed to make sure all my readers understand where I stand on the topic of Count Olaf's creepy ass infatuation to Violet.

Read with caution. Love the support you guys have given this fic.

-Susan.

____________________________________________________

                                           Chapter Fifty:

                           The One With Violet's Close Call

Klaus and Sunny paced around the small medical closet that they were currently hiding in. They had decided to be paranoid and barricade the door on their end so no one would enter their hideout. Before doing so, Klaus opened the door just a bit so he can peek around the hall and locate the security cameras. He feared that Olaf would catch them simply because he could be watching them on security cameras. After they blocked themselves in, Sunny explained to Klaus that she planned to watch the bottom of the door and she’ll notify him if she sees anyone’s shadows.

Klaus and Sunny were worrying about being recognized by anyone because of the ridiculous lies that had been written about Violet and Klaus in The Daily Punctilio, so the two Baudelaires knew that whatever they planned to do in order to save Violet they had to make sure they were undetected by not only the hospital personnel and patients but by Olaf, Esme, and the troupe who were undoubtedly lurking around the hospital in their ridiculous doctor costumes searching for the two younger orphans.

As the children paced around in silence, both siblings’ minds were racing. “We’ve got to rescue Violet and get out of this hostile hospital,” Klaus said aloud. He was talking more so to himself than Sunny, but Sunny replied anyway.

“But how?” she asked. Klaus sighed and shrugged his shoulders. Both siblings were trying their hardest to concentrate on their situation at hand. Both trying to ignore the fear that was lingering with them. Both were also focused on what Jacques Snicket had said.

Klaus ran his hand through his hair anxiously as he thought about the Snicket file that resided in his pocket next to his sister’s father’s wallet.

There’s a survivor.

Their trouble is over.

They were going to be okay.

They just had to find their mother.

Klaus sighed. He felt a bit bad when his mind focused on the possibility of his mother being the survivor, it was nothing against his father. Truth be told if his father was the survivor, he’d be equally as happy. He just...desperately wanted his mother.

He didn’t understand if there was a survivor, why weren’t they searching for their kids? He knew that his parents would be fighting tooth and nail to reunite themselves with their children. His mother and father were two kind, attentive, supportive, and loving parents. He gave a small smile as he imagined being reunited with his mother again, being able to feel her arms around him in a big bear hug as he feels her warmth and feels safe. His smile widened as he imagined his mother kicking Olaf and Esme’s ass for everything that they had put the kids through.

Sunny paced around the small room, walking in a different pattern than Klaus. She glanced around at all the supplies that were in the room, every so often glancing at the door to make sure that no one was trying to get in the room that she and her brother were hiding in. She took the small yellow ribbon out of her hair as she carefully twisted her hair into it, tying it out of her face. What would Violet do? She asked herself as she tapped her finger on her chin as she thought hard. She glanced over at her brother, who seemed lost in his own thoughts. She took the opportunity to open Violet’s locket again, she wasn’t entirely sure what this would do, but she felt like she needed to see one of her parents’ faces especially after the bombshell that Jacques Snicket had given the children during his briefing of the Snicket file.

She looked at the picture of her mother holding baby Violet and smiled. She missed her mother entirely but as she stared at the picture in her older sister’s locket, Sunny couldn’t help but frown when she thought about her father. Staring at the picture of her mother holding a baby girl in her arms reminded Sunny so much about how their mother used to hold her and sing to her whenever she was fussy. How her mother would clap enthusiastically when Sunny used a new word. She sighed as she ran her finger over the picture of her mother. All these memories made Sunny miss her mother, but they somehow made her miss her father more. She didn’t get to see any pictures of her father as often as she would prefer. The kids had two pictures of their parents stuffed away in Klaus’ pockets along with other documents and important scraps of paper the two younger orphans had been collecting ever since their unfortunate events had begun. So when Sunny gazed down at the photos in her sister’s locket, she wondered where in her world her father could be. Was he looking for them? Was it difficult for him to locate his children because they kept moving? She remembered spending afternoons with her father, who would be entertaining her with his poetry recitals. Sometimes he’d put on a show for Sunny, act out a silly poem or if he was reciting a serious think piece, he would analyze the poem with Sunny and even though she didn’t entirely understand what her father was saying all the time, she was happy. She never understood why Klaus would groan outwardly when their father would run up behind him and somehow still lift him up, ready to recite another poem of John Godfrey Saxe. She found it both entertaining and informational. She frowned when she realized that her actively thinking her father was the survivor meant that she wasn’t rooting for her mother. Like her brother, Sunny had nothing against their mother. She would be equally as happy if it were Beatrice who had survived the fire. But Sunny couldn’t shake the fun image of her father randomly showing up and kicking Olaf and Esme’s asses after putting the kids through all of this bullshit. Sunny smirked wickedly to herself when she thought about what her father might do to Olaf when she told him about what Olaf did to Klaus.

Dada…?

Mommy?

Where are you? Your babies need you.

As both siblings thought about the survivor of the fire and wondered where in the world the survivor could be, their faces turned sour simultaneously when, like clockwork, they both thought the same exact thing.

What if Lemony was the survivor?

Both siblings were blissfully unaware that they were thinking the same thing as Sunny bit her lip nervously and Klaus sighed miserably. Both too lost in thought to ask the other what was wrong.

What if Lemony was the survivor? As the two Baudelaire orphans thought about it...it made sense, didn’t it? For the survivor to be Lemony? The file was called the Snicket File, although Klaus had reasons to believe that it could have been named that simply because the star of the film was Jacques Snicket and Sunny could have guessed that maybe the makers of the film deliberately wanted to name it that just to cause this level of confusion. But again as the two orphans thought about it...their worries began to skyrocket. Jacques was Lemony’s brother, it would make sense that he’d investigate his brother’s death rather than their parents. But that wasn’t what was gnawing at the fragile minds of Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire. What was gnawing viciously at their minds was one question.

What would happen to them if Lemony was the survivor?

Obviously, if Lemony was the survivor, this meant he would be reunited with his daughter. Both siblings sighed at the same time as they came to this realization. It was the first time that the table had turned and it was the Baudelaires feeling excluded rather than Violet. Both didn’t know what would happen to them if he were the survivor. Lemony had no obligation to Klaus or Sunny. He was not their birth father and he had not raised them.

Would he go through the trouble to adopt us? Sunny pondered.

He wouldn’t leave us to fend for ourselves? Klaus wondered.

Truth was the kids just weren’t sure. Although they had met Lemony Snicket on a few occasions, they didn’t get the pleasure in actually getting to know him, seeing that every time they had seen him, he was in disguise just as Olaf was and the situation was always too tense and dangerous where there was rarely ever a moment in time where the kids could have had a decent conversation with the man who was desperately trying to help them. Klaus remembered the brief conversation he had with Lemony back when the kids lived with Josephine and Lemony was disguised as Steve Barkin, how he mentioned having a daughter and tried to convince Klaus that he was a good big brother. But other than that, Klaus didn’t know much about him.

The Baudelaires could easily assume that Lemony would be a decent human being, as he was before he had died and he would adopt the children either officially or unofficially depending on what he sought as best with his complicated circumstances. But he didn’t have any obligation to the Baudelaire children. As much as they hoped that he would take them with him and Violet, he could just as easily take Violet and abandon the two Baudelaires. The children wouldn’t be surprised, by this point in their sad story, they were used to it.

Now they both knew that if either one of their parents was the survivor that they would take in Violet immediately. No questions asked whatsoever. But they were able to come up with that conclusion very easily because they knew their parents. They knew their parents wouldn’t hesitate to gain a relationship with their estranged daughter. Violet was Beatrice’s biological daughter and had fate not intervened, she would have been raised by Bertrand, which would have made their father her father as well. They knew their father would not hesitate to have another child even if that child was not his biologically, that’s how great of a man Bertrand Baudelaire was. The two siblings also knew that if their mother had the chance to simply lay her eyes on the powerhouse force that her eldest daughter was, she would recognize Violet immediately as her child and would rush up and grab Violet and probably never let her go as she sobbed and apologized for things out of their mother’s control. Because they both knew that their mother was a decent and amazing woman.

Both siblings imagined for a second, how life would have been like had Violet never been separated from their mother and father. Klaus could imagine all the siblings' arguments and bonding moments that he and Violet would have had had she been around. He imagined how holidays would have been and how normal days would have been. Would he and Violet be closer? Would they have grown to hate each other? He pondered to himself. He slowly smiled, he had a feeling that being raised alongside Violet would have simply made him idolize her more as a big sister. He could see his younger self rushing into her room when he was scared of the loud thunderstorms outside instead of his mother and father’s room. He could see her building them a small little fort where they could pretend that the storm couldn’t get to them because Violet had built the shelter with the full purpose of making it stormproof even if the fort was made out of the most basic of materials like blankets and pillows. He could see her wanting her to sit with him during his first optometrist appointment instead of his father. He could see her beating up schoolyard bullies for him and just doing all the things big sisters do. But as he thought about it...he didn’t give the negative aspects even a thought. He knew big sisters were supposed to relentlessly tease and annoy. He knew that they were the only ones allowed to pick on their younger siblings. He knew growing up with Violet could have been different when it came to the family dynamics. He would never have had all of his parents' undivided attention, he would have had to fight Violet for it and he had a feeling he would have lost that battle a lot. He knew that if Violet had been raised alongside him that he probably would have been compared to her a lot because that’s what parents do. But he didn’t care. He wouldn’t have minded if life turned out like that.

Sunny, on the other hand, thought about how if Violet had been raised alongside her and Klaus that Violet would have been there the day that she came home from the hospital. She would have probably been like Klaus, teaching her how to talk, read, and walk. She wondered what else Violet would have tried to teach her. Sunny smiled as she imagined how family game nights would have gone with Violet’s addition. How chaotic that would have been with the five of them duking it out over Uno or Monopoly. Sunny had a feeling if Violet had been there from the start, that she would have been able to see the treehouse that she and Klaus shared more often. Klaus wasn’t entirely fond of it because it was getting too old and he felt as though it was dangerous to be in there but she knew that Violet would have made it a special project to fix it up for Sunny.

But as the children thought about this alternate timeline, they both felt bad for taking Lemony out of the picture and it brought them back to their worries that if it was so easy for them to do to him...how easy would it have been to do for him? And as they went back to pondering about whether or not Lemony would help them if he was the survivor, the children felt a mixture of emotions.

Cause with Lemony, Klaus and Sunny wouldn’t be able to entirely blame him if he were to take Violet and leave. Hell, they wouldn’t blame Violet for giving up on them and leaving with her father if she wanted to. The Baudelaires both feared that Lemony and possibly even Violet would finally see the two orphans as far too much trouble. Which as they further thought about it, it made perfect sense as to why the kids could be described as ‘too much trouble’.

No matter what Violet tried to tell them, the siblings knew that they were the reason Lemony was dead. They were the reason that Violet got sucked into this misfortune. Even if Lemony was the one who had decided to come out of hiding with the hopes of helping them survive Count Olaf. They cost him his life and if he turned out to be alive and would rather stay clear of the danger magnets that they have been proven to be. They couldn’t...and wouldn’t fault him.  They were also the reason that his brother was now dead. And there was no mistaking that on Sunny’s part.

Sunny knew Jacques was dead, she was forced to witness it with her own two eyes. Sleeping at night was difficult these days for young Sunny Baudelaire, although whenever she was able to cuddle up with one or both of her siblings, she felt safe enough that she could sleep and she found that when she was in the warm embrace of one of her older siblings it was as if a barrier is put around her and the harmful images of Olaf murdering Jacques couldn’t enter her head and torment her.

But Klaus didn’t need to witness Jacques’ murder to know he’s dead. He saw Jacques’ dead body being rowed out. Both children shuddered as they thought about the fact that Olaf had killed possibly two men in his wicked pursuit of them and now he had their fourteen-year-old sister in his clutches.

Both felt sharp pangs of guilt as a wave of sick, cruel realization poured over them when they realized that they were the reason why Violet was kidnapped and whatever Olaf was doing to her was on them. Klaus felt this pang of guilt harder than Sunny had because he knew what Olaf’s sick intentions with Violet were and he didn’t act fast enough to convince her splitting up was the worst thing the trio could have done. He hadn’t fought her hard enough to exit the mail chute and he allowed Esme and Olaf to take one of his sisters.

Klaus felt a few sharp pings of worry hit him as he thought about his doubts. The longer it took for him to come up with a plan, the more time the kids had to get caught and even if that didn’t happen it was more time that Olaf had Violet in his clutches. Klaus knew that he couldn’t let him and Sunny get caught because he refused to make Violet’s sacrifice fruitless. He also couldn’t let them get caught for obvious reasons. He knew Olaf wasn’t going to leave the hospital without all three kids. So he and Sunny merely had to avoid getting caught in their attempt to rescue Violet.

Klaus watched as Sunny did another routine check of the door. She watched for a few moments just to be extra cautious. He gave a small smile as he watched her walk-in tiny circles, tying her own hair. Klaus had a special sense of pride as he thought about how much Sunny had grown since that day on the beach when their lives first changed for the worst. Sunny was out of her infancy and was in the beginning stages of her toddlerhood and she was surely showing it. She was walking on her own and even talking in sentences for the most part, completely able to articulate her thoughts. Even going through everything she had been through, Klaus could see Sunny growing up into a chaotic mix of both of her parents. She had the best qualities of both Beatrice and Bertrand. Hell, Sunny had her moments where she reminded Klaus so much of Violet, like right now, as Sunny paced around silently, untying and retying her hair with her small yellow ribbon. The thing that surprised him the most about Sunny was that even after failing her so many times, she still believed in him so much. He didn’t understand why though.

Klaus felt tears spring to his face. You are the absolute worst brother in the world. You can’t protect them.

He turned quickly and glanced at Sunny once more. He couldn’t help but think this way. Violet was definitely the better big sibling for Sunny. She was proving it right now by being Olaf’s captive while allowing Klaus and Sunny a chance at an escape. While Klaus was hiding inside a large closet desperately trying to figure out a plan to save Violet. Sunny had definitely surprised him when she had compared him to Violet positively. That’s something he ever really did, always feeling inferior to his older sister especially when it comes to how they both were at being an older sister. ‘You are the best big brother I could ask for’ Sunny had said when she compared him positively to Violet. Then she had told Klaus that she loved in believed in them both.

Klaus’ thoughts shifted just slightly when he also remembered what Sunny now knows. His blood boiled and he felt the desire to punch a wall angrily. How dare Olaf haunt his baby sister with the gory, gruesome details of the pain he had caused her older brother after he had desperately tried to save her back when they were still in that bastard’s ‘care’. Olaf had absolutely no right and Klaus knew he only did that to try to scare Sunny and that made him even angrier. He hated the fact that Sunny now felt guilty about it even though he did not have a single reason to blame Sunny.

Klaus turned to Sunny, sighing, finally breaking the silence.

“We have to rescue Violet before it’s too late,” he explained to Sunny.

“But we don’t know where she is,” Sunny countered, although she nodded her head in agreement.

“ Violet must be somewhere in this hospital. Otherwise, Olaf and Esme would have left by now. He and Esme are probably hoping to capture us to,”

“Then we have to find her,” Sunny replied turning to her brother. “But how?”

Klaus sighed. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Olaf is watching us through the fucking security cameras and the rest of the hospital might recognize us from the bullshit Daily Punctilio.”

Both children looked at one another depressingly. They both wondered just how long Violet had had that photo of them hidden away in secret in her locket that now rested on Sunny’s chest. They both knew that they needed to act soon because they both did not like the idea of Violet being in Olaf’s clutches. Before either one can further the conversation they could hear an approaching crowd of cheerful singers.

Klaus and Sunny looked at one another and shrugged their shoulders. “Hide within crowd?” Sunny suggested as Klaus picked her up quickly.

“Better than nothing.” Klaus agreed. “We’ll just have to be extra careful today,”

Sunny nodded emphatically, a word which here means ‘as if she thought being extra careful was a good plan,’ and Klaus nodded emphatically back as he quickly unbarricaded the door, listening for the crowd to be right outside the door before exiting the room. Both Baudelaire children felt less and less emphatic about what they were doing as they waited by the door. Ever since that terrible day at the beach, when Mr. Poe brought them news of the fire, both Baudelaire orphans had been extra careful all of the time. They had been extra careful when they lived with Count Olaf, and Sunny had still ended up dangling from a cage outside Olaf’s tower room. They had been extra careful when they’d worked at Lucky Smells Lumbermill, and Klaus had still ended up hypnotized by Dr. Orwell. And now the Baudelaires had been as careful as they could possibly be, but the hospital had turned out to be as hostile an environment as anywhere the two children had ever lived. And as their hearts were beating faster and faster, they heard their opportunity to exit the small room and hide within the cheerful VFD.

“ We are Volunteers  and we’re cheerful all day long! If someone said that we were sad, that person would be wrong. Tra-la-la Fiddle-dee-dee Hope you get well soon. Ho-ho-ho,” the members of VFD sang as Klaus hurriedly opened the door and forced him and his baby sister into the direct middle of the crowd.

“Could we have some balloons?” Klaus asked.

“Of course, brother!” Brandon said patting Klaus’ shoulder. He handed Sunny two balloons and gave the children a confused look. “Where’s the older sister, brother?” he asked confused.

Klaus and Sunny looked at one another. “She’s under the weather,” Sunny explained quickly.

“I’m sorry to hear that!” Brandon said cheerfully as he tied a balloon gently to Sunny’s wrist. “Give her this heart-shaped balloon! And to get well soon!” he said smiling. “Ooh, that rhymed. We should add that to the song somehow.” he addressed the other members who were all smiling and ready to partake in the singing again.

Sunny maneuvered the balloons to cover both her face and her brother’s face as Klaus carried her trying his best to sing along to the song so that the volunteers would allow him and Sunny to stay in the group. The song and the singing were too cheerful and annoying for Klaus to truly enjoy this plan. But what better place to hide than among people who believed that no news was good news, which means they don’t read the newspaper.

To the children’s relief, the volunteers paid no attention as Klaus and Sunny glanced around desperately looking for any signs of their big sister or Olaf and his group. As they followed the group from room to room, both Baudelaires concluded that this might be the best way for them to search the hospital. Maybe Olaf had disguised their sister as a patient since he was disguised as a doctor.

The children went into several rooms, watching as the Volunteers Fighting Disease ignored real ways to help the hospital’s patients and they cheerfully sang their song oblivious to exactly how useful or helpful they were being. They saw a man with both legs in casts and a woman with both arms in bandages. They watched a member tie a balloon to the woman’s cast because she wouldn’t be able to hold it.  They watched as the group ignored the patients’ request of a glass of water and for their nurse to be called so they could receive their pain killers. Klaus and Sunny wanted to help these people but they were too afraid of whether or not the patients had read The Daily Punctilio so as the VFD members ignored their requests, the Baudelaires regretfully did, too.

“If we visit each and every room of this hospital,” Klaus whispered to Sunny as the group exited the room to go to a different room. “We’re sure to find Violet,”

“Agreed. Although seeing sick people makes me sad,” Sunny replied.

“Same here, Sunshine.”

The next room contained a man that reminded them of Mr. Poe because he had a severe, nasty cough. As they watched the volunteers sing their song and hand the man a balloon, the children believed that a good humidifier would be more effective way to fight this disease than a cheerful attitude and the two were tempted to run and find a humidifier for this sick man, but they knew Violet was in much more danger than a man with a cough and again, they couldn’t risk being recognized.

On and on the volunteers marched, and Klaus and Sunny marched with them, but with every ho ho ho and he he he their hearts sank lower and lower. The two Baudelaires followed the members of VFD up and down the staircases of the hospital, and although they saw a great number of confusing maps, intercom speakers, security cameras which they made sure to avoid looking directly into, and sick people, they did not catch a glimpse of their sister. As they entered each room, nowhere, in any of the rooms that the volunteers marched into, was Violet Snicket, who Klaus and Sunny feared, was suffering more than any other patient.

“We’ve been wandering all morning, and we’re no closer to saving our sister,” Klaus whispered to Sunny, but Sunny didn’t reply. As Klaus marched with the volunteers up another flight of stairs as he carried Sunny, Sunny had focused on something that kept her eye.

“Shh,” Sunny whispered back.

“Why?” Klaus asked in a whisper.

“Bald fucker,” Sunny whispered, pointing as stealthily as she could ahead of them. Someone coming down the stairs, he was several steps above the kids and he looked to be running down the stairs in a hurry. “And Hook-Man.”

“What do we do?” Klaus whispered worriedly, realizing that if the bald man and the Hook-Handed Man were descending down the stairs, that they would have a good viewpoint advantage on the kids.

“Kiss the balloon,” Sunny whispered back as she shoved one balloon in Klaus’ face. He shifted Sunny so that he can hold the balloon in his face while she used one of the balloons to hide her face and the third one, that Brandon had intended for Violet to cover the top of her head. She hoped that if the bald man were to look over at the Volunteers Fighting Disease he would just see the top of Klaus’ head and assume he was one person rather than two, carrying three balloons.

The children’s hearts were beating fast in their chests as they continued marching in the middle of the group of volunteers.

__________________________________________________________

Violet opened her eyes and groaned in pain. Her head was throbbing from Esme slamming it into the hospital wall. She glanced around the room to find that she had been once again tied down to the gurney. She felt tape once again around her mouth. She tried desperately to kick her feet but to her surprise, Olaf and Esme must have tied her ankles to the damn gurney, too.

Nonetheless, Violet struggled as hard as she could trying to make some kind of noise in a desperate attempt to get someone to rescue her. She didn’t have much time to struggle, though because the door to the room began to open. Her heart dropped.

“I’m just saying, Boss. Your name could use a little work,” The Hook-Handed Man explained.

“What do you mean? It’s fucking brilliant,” Olaf growled, rolling his eyes.

The Hook-Handed Man looked at him incredulously, “Really?” he asked. “Dr. Medical-School?”

“Like you could’ve come up with anything better,” Olaf muttered annoyed.

“You could’ve said literally anything else. Like...House...or Howser?”

Olaf growled again. “Watch the door,” he ordered his henchman as he turned towards Violet.

Violet’s heart sank further as she watched the Hook-Handed Man’s facial expression change almost immediately. “B-but don’t you need my hooks…to tear her to shreds?” the man asked meekly. Violet gave both men an intense glare.

“Just wait outside the door,” Olaf hissed as he watched his henchman turn around unhappily and walked outside the door. Violet glanced down at the bottom of the door to make sure that the man hadn’t entirely left, thankfully for her, she could see the shadows that his feet made as he stood in front of the door, guarding it against anyone who would try to enter.

Olaf walked menacingly towards Violet. He glared down at Violet. Violet glared back at him with daggers. She refused to show him fear or weakness so she was hoping that she looked more intimidating than she felt seeing as though Olaf most definitely had the upper hand.

Olaf reached down, grabbed the edge of the tape and pulled it off Violet’s mouth as quickly and painfully as he can. “You fucking bitch!” she hissed.

“Comfy?” he asked her, smirking at the helpless girl.

“Fuck off,” Violet hissed, still glaring at him. “Klaus and Sunny will find me.”

Olaf merely shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe they will...maybe they won’t. I mean I’m counting on it. Can’t let those brats live after causing me so much trouble.”

“You fucker,”

“But you see, if I were Klaus...I’d do the sensible thing and leave this hospital with that bucktoothed brat,”

“Well, it’s a good thing Klaus isn’t a damn thing like you, then.”

“Well, what do you expect to happen, Violet?” Olaf asked as he began to pet her hair. Violet moved her head vigorously, trying to move away from his touch. “I mean...if I had the option to save my real sister or some desperate little girl who just wants to belong...I’d save my sister.”

Violet’s glare intensified. “I am their real sister, you fucking piece of shit.” she hissed as he smiled down at her. The way that he was looking at her, made the pit of fear in her stomach grow.

Olaf rolled his eyes as he grabbed the edge of the gurney harshly. Causing Violet to flinch. He smiled at her reaction. She responded just how he wanted her to. “You know, Violet, it doesn’t have to end this way…” he muses slowly walking around the gurney. Violet tried her hardest to keep her eyes glued on him, to make sure she could see him at every second. But as he circled her like a shark circling its prey, she was feeling dizzy. “I see the way you roll your eyes at the mere mention of VFD.”

Violet shifted her gaze to where he had stopped moving. He was standing behind her head, she glanced up at him, still glaring but behind her eyes, she knew that fear was starting to show. She had no idea what he had planned. “I may hate VFD. But I despise you!” she hisses.

“I’m flattered,” he says as he caresses her cheek. She shudders under his touch. She whimpers softly, violently trying to move her arms and legs, to break her restraints but as Olaf watches her struggle, his smirk widens and her heart sinks further into her chest which Violet didn’t know it was possible. “But you don’t mean that…”

“Oh, believe me, I do!”

Olaf smirk widened. “You know...it’s not just VFD that is to blame for what you’re going through…”

“I know it’s…” Violet began before Olaf interrupted her.

“Your dear father...may he rest in ashes.” Olaf snarled leaning closer to Violet’s ear. Causing the girl to shrink to the farther side of the gurney as much as her restraints would allow.

“ Fuck you!” she screeches as she continues to struggle more.

“And...Beatrice…” Olaf added, he watched as Violet’s face turned from one of unbridled anger to pure sadness. ‘You know…” he began, his voice becoming gentler but not in a comforting way. His voice became patronizing and belittling, but softer in volume. He walked over to the side of the gurney once more, kneeling down so that he no longer towered Violet but he was nearly face to face with her which made her move her head as far away from him as she could. “Beatrice hurt me, too. You’re not the only person that she hurt.”

Violet couldn’t believe her ears, was Olaf truly trying to pin her misfortune on her birth mother. Was he trying desperately to shift the blame from himself and VFD to her parents? She continued to glare at him as he sighed. He caressed Violet’s cheek again.

“Since you’re such a pretty girl…” he explained. “I’m willing to give you a chance to join me, Violet.” He watched as her expression changed to one that he couldn’t read. He couldn’t tell if she was considering it or was entirely shocked by his mere suggestion. “Together...we could destroy VFD once and for all. All you’d have to do is two simple things... for me.”

Violet’s stomach churned uncomfortably as she grimaced. She didn’t know what he meant by that last part but as they say, curiosity killed the cat. She looked up at Olaf, her glare still present but her fear was coming through so it wasn’t as intense as it had been. Olaf took that as a sign of her already considering his offer before even hearing what she’d have to do.

Olaf continued to caress her cheek as he spoke, Violet tried her damnedest to move her face from his touch but he, unfortunately, had the advantage. “Would it be so awful?” he asked. She looked at him with a face full of confusion and discomfort. “Would it be so awful to spend the rest of your life...with me? In my troupe...at my side...at my beck and call? I’ve seen your inventions, you could be very useful to my troupe, unlike those pesky Baudelaires.” He leaned in close to her. “Think about it, my pet,” he whispered into her ear as he stroked her cheek. Her skin felt like it was crawling and her blood was boiling but she was beginning to feel paralyzed under his cruel touch. “We could burn down this organization together!”

“...keep...talking…” she replied meekly, narrowing her eyes. She wasn’t sure where he was going with this. But at this point, she’d do almost anything to help her siblings escape from Olaf’s treachery.

“When you’re of age, you give me your fortune,” He began. “You see, once I have your fortune...I wouldn’t dispose of you like I would that irritating bookworm and biting brat.”

She breathed a sigh of relief when she realized he was still more interested in her stupid fucking money than what she had been expecting for him to say. Although the second part of that statement was one that she didn’t really like. She would rather an option where Olaf didn’t dispose of Klaus and Sunny. But when Violet weighed her options on the financial part of his offer, there was barely any hesitation. It was just money. Who the fuck cares? She thought. The only thing I care about right now is my siblings.  But as she opened her mouth to respond, she remembered he had said there were two things he needed her to do for him. Fear came crashing in once more as she began to expect the worst.

“And...what else?”

“You help me lure those bratty Baudelaires so I can destroy them.” He replied smiling wickedly at her.

Still surprised by his answer, since that was not where she believed he was going with this conversation. She took the time to weigh her options. She took into account everything that Olaf had said up to this point. Since the day that Violet had the absolute misfortune of meeting this vile and terrible man.

Finally, Violet smiled and in the most enthusiastic voice she could muster up she said, “Of course, I’ll join you!”

Olaf smiled at this. He placed his hand under her chin, turning her face to make her face him. “Pretty and smart,” Violet responded with another rough shudder as she tried to move her chin from his grasp. But he held her firmly. “Now...all you have to do is tell me where those brats are hiding.”

Violet nodded and he let go of her chin. “Of course, I’ll tell you where they’re hiding!” Violet replies using the same over-the-top voice. “Now, when you capture them you can’t tell them that I told you.”

“Of course. Of course.” He replied, a Grinch-like smile appearing across his face. This was too easy. He thought. She did her best to motion for him to come closer so that she could whisper her siblings' location in his ear. His smile somehow got wider and far creepier as he began to move closer to her.

“Now listen carefully,” Violet replied as Olaf could no longer contain his excitement. He was soon going to have all three orphans to torture and do whatever the fuck he wanted to and what made this even better is that Violet was going to sell out her siblings and hand them to him on a silver platter.

As he got closer to her face, Violet gave the vile man, a quick, sarcastic smile as she spits directly in his face. “ Snickets take care of their own!” she screamed in his ear as loud as she could.

Olaf growled, a loud, inhumane growl as he slapped her across the face with as much strength as he could muster. “ You little bitch!” he screamed as her head shot to the side harshly. One cheek feeling the wrath of Olaf’s anger and the other feeling the pressure of being slammed against the side of the gurney. Tears began to fall from her eyes as she winced in pain. She could feel her right cheek was on fire. Olaf wiped her saliva from his face as he grabbed Violet’s face in his hand and roughly pushed her cheeks in, applying pressure to her jaw. She groaned in pain.

“Stop…” she whimpers.

“Snickets may take care of their own...but Baudelaires are known for betraying and abandoning their own…” he said, applying even more pressure to her face. She tried to pull her head from his grasp. “And I have this feeling that the bookworm is just like his mother in that respect.”

Violet tried to spit at him again. “ Fuck you! You motherfucker!”

Olaf growled once more as he slapped her again, with the same level of strength as before even if this time she was unsuccessful when she tried to spit in his face. She started to cry. She bit her lip to suppress her sobs but the effort was almost pointless when her eyes began to water. Her cheek was definitely on fire now and she was beginning to feel her fear of her situation take over. She watched as Olaf turned and walked over to a small sink that was in the room. He picked up a tray full of medical tools and began to examine the tools.

“Out of curiosity,” Olaf asked, back turned towards a vulnerable and terrified Violet. “Has the bookworm shown you what I’m capable of?”

“You mean how you cut him, you fucking bastard!” she hissed. “Sunny told me.”

Olaf chuckled at that, as he lifted a rather scary looking knife as he examined it thoroughly. Still not even looking at her. “You see, I could do the same thing to you, my darling,” he turned to her as he carried the tray and the scary knife with him back towards her. He placed the tray of tools on top of her. “But...you’re way too pretty for that,” he explains petting her hair once more.

“I’m not your darling, you sick fuck.” she hisses through the tears, fear, and pain. “Klaus and Sunny are going to find me. We’ve outsmarted you every fucking time. We will do it again.”

Olaf grinned as he waved the big, sharp knife around, stroking his finger carefully across it, smiling wickedly at it. “I don’t think you will outsmart me...no, not this time.” he hisses menacingly as he glared down at the helpless girl. Violet glared back at him, her fear being suppressed once more as she continually reminded herself why she had to survive this. “Have you ever hunted, Violet?”

“Of course not,” she spat back.

“Well…” he said as he put down the large knife on the tray. “If you had, you’d be familiar with a particular experience. There’s a particular moment, at the end of a long hunt, ” he explained coldly as he picked up a rather scary drill. Violet, being only fourteen and never going to med-school wasn’t completely certain what this device in Olaf’s hand was but if she had to guess it was probably to drill small holes in the skull to help neurosurgeons perform their operations. As he spoke, he used a tone that sent several chills down her spine causing her to shift uncomfortably and breathe heavily. “When you have the animal cornered. And the animal looks into your eyes... deep into them, to see if there’s any mercy in there.” She looked at the device with uncertainty and fear as Olaf turned it on. The man looked from her to the drill, smiling as he imagined using it on one of the children. “And when it sees that there is not…” he turned the drill off and smiled at it happily. “... it gives up...it gives it life to you. ”

He smiled wickedly at her as he placed the drill back on the tray that still laid on top of her. She could no longer help it, she was trembling as he spoke. He stroked her now severely bruised cheek as she felt tears springing in her eyes. “Well, I have you cornered, Violet, and I have no mercy .”

Tears began to fall from Violet’s eyes as her fear took over. Is this how Klaus feels like? She wondered as she tried her best to hold it in. But this was all too much. His tone, his words, his touch. She couldn’t take it anymore.

He smiled viciously as he wiped a tear from her bruised cheek. “Don’t cry…” he cooed. “Sooner or later the Baudelaires will fall into my trap and when they do…”

Violet’s tear-filled eyes glared at the villain as he mentioned her siblings again. She shook her head defiantly, unable to speak because she was using most of her energy trying to hold back her tears. He gripped the railing to the gurney harshly as he knelt closer to her menacingly. He got in her face as close as he could get, even after she had shrunk herself down as far as her head would sink into the single pillow that held her head up. She grimaced and winced at how extremely uncomfortable she felt with Olaf that close to her face. She wanted to spit in his face again but the intense heat she could still feel from her right cheek convinced her otherwise. Instead, she stared back at Olaf with a face full of mainly fear with a splash of anger and defiance. “And when they do…” he reiterated getting even closer to her face. Violet held her breath as he spoke due to how close he was to her. She could smell his rancid breath. She tried to turn her head so she didn’t have to look at him but he caught her throat with his hand and applied pressure to keep her head in place. “I won’t be satisfied with just your fortunes. This time, I will obliterate you and the entire Baudelaire line in the cruelest ways imaginable…” he hissed into her ear as he held her down. Her breathing became rapid and her fear spiked entirely. “Now won’t that be fun?!” he asked her in a patronizing tone as he gave her an open-mouthed grin, showing off his disgustingly dirty teeth.

Violet’s breathing became heavy as she gasped for air the moment he lifted his face even an inch away from hers. By the look on Olaf’s face, Violet knew that he knew that he was terrifying her.

“...l-leave them alone!” she cried struggling as Olaf removed his hand from her throat. “You have me!” she reasoned, her voice thick with fear. “I can get you both fortunes! Just leave Klaus and Sunny alone!”

He snickered. “I do have you…” he said smiling. “And what a treat that is,”

Violet trembled and began to struggle when she felt Olaf’s hand on her lower leg. She shifted uncomfortably. He grins at her, again, his hand trailing up to her knee agonizingly slow. Violet jerked her leg again. Fear creeping slowly into her eyes, paralyzing her to her core. She felt frozen as she felt his hand stroke her knee. Her heart was beating rapidly as she started screaming for help as Olaf clapped his hand over her mouth. She desperately tried to bite his hand as she tried to break free from her restraints. She looked around the room desperately, her eyes locking on the door. She prayed that someone, anyone, would walk in here soon and stop him before he was to do anything too heinous. He seemed to revel in her fear, probably because he rarely got to see it.

Olaf smirked again when he could see her face full of fear as she unknowingly was looking at him trying to look into his eyes for an ounce of mercy or humanity just as he described in his little speech that was designed to scare her. His smirk widened when he remembered the same look on Klaus’ face back when he first traumatized the young orphan.

He kept his hand at her knee, which was a small relief to Violet but she knew it was not because he had any mercy or humanity, it was merely because he was getting a kick out of her trembling in fear that he wanted to prolong it for as long as he could to further torment the poor girl. And why wouldn’t he? He believed he had all the time in the world. He had his favorite little orphan captured and in his clutches unable to escape or save herself and he severely doubted that Klaus was going to attempt another rescue mission after his first one had ended in his own pain, misery, and blood being spilled. Olaf believed that even if Klaus was brave enough to try to rescue Violet, he would fail miserably and then he would have all three children in his clutches. His to torture in any way that he seemed fit.

He glanced up at the terrified Violet, who looked from him to his hand attentively. Only staring at one or the other for a few seconds before shifting her eyes. She closed her eyes and pushed her head against the gurney as if she were ready to give in. She sighed heavily and as she did, Olaf and even Violet, herself, could hear the tremble in her voice. “...don’t...please don’t hurt them…” she cried, tears once again flowing.

He once again reveled and rejoiced in her misery and fear as he used his free hand to wipe her tears from her eyes again. “Didn’t we talk about crying?” he asked in a tone that was softer than his threats but was far scarier. “ Pretty little orphans shouldn’t cry…”

She jerked her head once more. She felt sick to her stomach with each second that passed by. She stared at the door, pleading within her mind for someone to barge in and stop him before he went too far.

“I mean...I could just keep you...and let them live,” he mused. She groaned depressingly simply because of the way he said it. It didn’t sound like he was contemplating her idea, it sounded like he was planning to use it against her. “But...you’d have to do something for me first,” he explained as he began to lift his grip from her knee. Violet shuddered violently, understanding fully well what he had been implying.

Violet’s eyes widened. “Stop fucking touching me! ” she cried through her sobs, desperately pulling at her wrists and ankles. She needed the restraints to loosen but unfortunately for her, it didn’t seem to be happening.

Olaf smirked down at her as he lifted the large knife. Violet couldn’t tell if the knife was, yet another, scare tactic or if this was really what he was going to do. Merely cut her up. She didn’t know exactly how to feel about that. She stared at the large knife, her breathing becomes rapid.

 No. She told herself as she felt herself shake. He wouldn’t do that to you. He said it himself. You’re too pretty for that.

She involuntarily gagged at her thoughts. On second thought, I’d prefer if he cut me like he did Klaus.  

She looked at the knife fearfully when he set it on her leg, applying slight pressure to it. She froze under his touch, too afraid to continue to struggle because she didn’t want to cut herself. “Oh, Violet.. .I will touch whatever I want. ”

Violet shuddered at both the tone that he used to say that and the double meaning she knew that the statement had. He stroked the knife against her knee with one hand as he lifted his other hand, keeping it above her thigh. Violet had a feeling she knew now why Olaf had wanted her in the hospital gown. As his hand hovered over her thigh, she pulled at her wrists violently ignoring the sharp pain that was affecting her wrists.

“ No,” she cried. She glanced at the door, practically begging with her eyes for the Hook-Handed Man or anyone else to open the door now! As Violet continued to struggle against her restraints, she decided that she’d rather not see what was to happen next. She closed her eyes tight as the door swung open.

“Boss! Boss! Come quick!” The Hook-Handed Man cried urgently.

Olaf groaned loudly as he dropped the large knife on the tray filled with medical tools that still laid on top of Violet. “Can’t you see that I’m busy with my pet?” he asked stroking Violet’s hair.

Violet whimpered and tried to move her head as she watched the henchman slightly shudder.

“This better be important!” Olaf hissed, turning his body and attention towards his henchman, glaring at him. Violet took this opportunity to lift up her head and quickly scan the tray of tools looking for something sharp to cut her restraints. She glanced around at all the big tools knowing full well that she couldn’t take one of those because she needed to be conspicuous. Her eyes locked on a scalpel that was laying at the edge of the tray. She quickly glanced up at Olaf, who was still distracted by his henchman and she quietly reached for the scalpel. She looked up at the henchman to see if he was watching her, but he seemed to be focused on something else. She carefully took the scalpel from the tray and cautiously hid it under her body.

“We just found the other brats!” The Hook-Handed Man reported.

“What?!” Olaf cried excitedly, his eyes widening and shining with pure happiness.

Violet’s eyes widened for an entirely different reason. “ NO!” she screamed. Her struggling became a bit harsher as she groaned and winced from the pain that was going through her wrists. “ Please!”

“The others are in pursuit right now,” he explained. “But we need your help catching them, sir.”

Olaf groaned. “Where’s Esme?” he asked. “She caught this pretty little thing for me...why can’t she catch the other two?”

“She’s busy doing her own thing,” the henchman replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Must I do everything myself?” he asks as he glares at his henchman.

Olaf growls knowing damn well that that meant Esme was more focused on getting her damn sugar bowl than getting him the remaining two orphans. That would explain why she hadn’t followed him into Violet’s room. Olaf turned from his henchperson back to Violet. He placed a cold hand on her bruised cheek. “Maybe our fun should wait until I have those pesky Baudelaires.” he hissed as he caressed her cheek. She shudders under his touch, he could hear her whimpers.

“ Please! Leave them alone!” Violet pleads, choking on her tears. “ They’re all I have!”  She began to harshly pull at her restraints careful not to move too much where the scalpel could be seen or where she’d accidentally bump it off her gurney. She grunted and groaned in pain as she twisted her wrists and ankles this way and that.

Olaf smirked widens as he watches her. He takes the tray from where it laid on top of her and placed it back on the counter that was far from where her gurney was parked.

He turned to her and viciously hissed, “Oh, Violet. You have nothing.” he lifted up the big knife as he examined it again. He turned to his henchman. “Do you think this is sharper than your hooks?”

The man shrugged in response. “Actually, the duller the weapon the better. The more pressure that needs to be applied." Olaf muttered to himself loud enough for Violet to hear. “Hmmmm...maybe we can use this drill on the little baby,” he said lifting up the drill and turning it on once more. "What do you think, pet?"

This time the sound it produced made Violet’s ears and heart ache. She didn’t care imagining it being used on her but to be used on Sunny...she couldn’t bear it.

“ Please! You have me! You don’t need to harm them anymore!”

He walks back to her as he glances down at her. “Don’t worry, pet, I’ll allow you to see them one last time. ” The words hit Violet to her core as her heart was beating too fast. She tried to look into Olaf’s viciously shiny eyes for mercy but he was right, there was absolutely none especially when it came to her siblings. “I mean, how else could you witness their demise?”

“ Olaf! Please! No!” She cries. Her tone a mix of anger and desperation.

Olaf pats her on the head. “A fake doctor’s work is never done.” he shrugged his shoulders as he began to walk out. “Oh, and I wouldn’t bother screaming...in a hospital...screams are perfectly normal. Am I right?” He gestured around as if to tell Violet that no one had come to her rescue and the only reason he was leaving her right now was to go catch her siblings. “It seems like your self-sacrifice was for nothing. You just made them easier targets to catch.”

“ You listen to me you piece of fucking dog shit! Don’t you dare touch Klaus or Sunny!” Violet cried desperately. Her anger taking the forefront of her mindset. “ When I get out of these restraints, I will make you pay for everything you’ve done to them! And everything you try to do to them!”

He laughed at Violet’s threats as he walked back towards the door to follow his henchman, he stopped at the tray and lifted the big, sharp knife once more. “On second thought, this will be perfect for subduing those brats. They’ll both be shaking to their cores at the mere sight of this and then we’ll snatch them,” he explained cruelly to Violet. “Let’s go, Hooky.”

“ No...no...you can’t! Please!” She struggled violently. Her desperation and anger were fighting for the forefront of her mind. “ If you harm them...I will fucking kill you! You hear me! I will end you so quickly if you even dare touch even a hair on either one of their heads!”

Olaf put his hand up in the air and waved at Violet tauntingly. “ I’m so scared.” He mocked as he began to laugh maniacally. “ Don’t worry, my pretty little pet, I’ll be right back.”

Before she could respond, he closed the door behind him and his henchman.

“ No!” she shrieked. “ You don’t need them! You have me!”

But she didn’t get a response...not a single response. Her fear had her paralyzed. She had just had a really close call with Olaf and now the only reason she was relatively safer than she was just mere moments ago was that Olaf had left to chase after her siblings, who have apparently been spotted in the hospital. Violet knew she had to get to her siblings before Olaf and his troupe could. So as she reached her fingers to the scalpel that she had stolen from Olaf, she maneuvered the tool at the perfect angle and with her right hand, she began to desperately cut at her restraints. Glancing at the door, looking for anyone’s approaching shadows. She only hoped that everyone in Olaf’s troupe was focused on literally chasing down Klaus and Sunny only because she knew that if everyone was focused on them that means no one was paying her any attention whatsoever and that’s exactly the kind of distraction she needed to escape from Olaf’s clutches.

As she cut through her first restraint, Violet knew she had to find Klaus and Sunny before Olaf could.

[groundramon]

So curiouscat has stupid short reply lengths so i had to post this here

Tw for: bullying, fatphobia, discussion of sexual harassment (oh it feels good to have enough characters to write a proper tw)

So it might surprise ppl to know that my favorite frontier character is JP, the raging heterosexual. But like, to me...hes so much more than that. JP is a character that I saw so much of myself in. His social isolation from his peers, leading him to push away others to avoid getting hurt...its not that people outwardly bully him, its that no one sees behind his surface and nobody bothers to truly care about him. People only recognize him as the class clown - no one actually wants to hang out with him. And that...that hit me HARD as a kid. It was the experience i had growing up. I wasn't outright bullied, I just felt...excluded. Judged. I wanted friends but was too afraid of being judged or excluded. And sometimes it caused me to be dismissive of genuinely good people. And quite frankly, that's STILL a problem I have, not even a year after an exfriend of 7 years said that our interests were one of the things driving us apart. My intense fear of being ridiculed for my interests drove me as a kid, and sometimes even now as an adult, to completely stop caring what my peers thought about anything. For all intents and purposes, im a bit of a hipster - i hate on what's popular and i tote my more obscure interests. Because I feel like that's the only way. Obviously i have fairly mainstream interests but lemme tell ya, i went to a christian school in the late 2000s/early 2010s - goddamn pokemon was obscure/counter-culture in a setting like that. But despite my desperate attempts not to care, I DO care, just like JP. It fuckin stung. And now i have depression and social anxiety whoops. Honestly ngl, it got so bad that I genuinely projected that it was implied JP was isolated for being fat/not conventionally attracted, until i was like "wait a minute...frontier didnt go that hard"

But what makes JP such a tragic character to me now is that at the end of Frontier nowadays when i watch it, im left asking myself....DID JP make any friends?

I know JP is a raging heterosexual but quite frankly, he is dealt such a shitty, judgemental hand for an innocent crush. JP's most nsfw fantasy is marrying Zoe and holding her hand, like... And yet, despite this, he's accused time and time again of being a perv. JP is, well, a big fuckin guy. As such, he thinks "its probably a good idea to let all my friends climb up this latter before me, so i dont crush them all if i fall - plus ill look chivalrous too!" But he unfortunately forgets that Zoe has a skirt on and, y'know, not pants. I understand Zoe's hesitation completely - i wouldnt trust a man who kept hitting on me either. Her relationship with JP is completely justified. Like, its not like JP doesn't take no for an answer - he just still has a crush on her. Yes he should probably give it a rest but like, he's 13 and his most nsfw fantasy is to hold hands and marry and respect his crush. Inb4 you say "but its a kids show of course it is-" literally everything about Zoe is sexualized so no the fuck its not lol

What gets me the most though is the beach episode... again, not because of Zoe. She thinks someone has peeped on her (understandable but it was a digimon) and confronts them about it. But koji and takuya IMMEDIATELY suspect JP, and only believe his immediate denial when Tommy points out that JP was with them the whole time. Like first of all, YOU FORGOT HE WAS THERE??? it took the baby of the group pointing that out for you to remember???? Second of all, JP has never done anything to warrant not being believed - again for zoe id understand, a bitch has gotta be weary, but not for the guys? And thirdly, and perhaps most importantly of all, YOU GUYS CONSIDER SOMEONE YOU'D EASILY SUSPECT OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT YOUR "FRIEND"???? i would NEVER be friends with someone who i could see sexually harassing another one of my friends!! What the shit!! I realize they're kids but GEEZ. And i know its implied JP only cares about the perpetrator because he likes Zoe but idc, despite being persistent in his crush JP has literally NEVER done ANYTHING to disrespect women. And if the scene where takuya and jp run into Zoe's changing room to see whats wrong after she screams counts - well lol takuya was there too.

Zoe was dealt a terrible hand by the writers (worse than JP imo) so I understand people being weary of JP, but - in the dub at least - he literally did nothing wrong... dont confuse the writers sexualizing zoe and being misogynistic with JP sexualizing zoe and being misogynistic.

And im gonna say it - JP is only treated this way cuz hes fat lol. Its not a coincidence that the only MC in the digimon anime who's treated like a perv (despite the fact that they failed in writing one, cuz hes not a perv) is the fat guy. Japan LOVES the fat otaku stereotype (America, look what you did, you made it fatphobic) and in JP's case he's treated completely differently because he's fat. Takuya doesn't have an explicit crush on Zoe but just look at how he treats her vs JP. And which one is demonized lmao? Like, frontier has major problems in general, but to me this isnt a coincidence.

Also, I think JP's crush on zoe is initially just flirting/wanting to impress a girl to fill the void in his heart, but then he genuinely comes to respect her and like her for who she is. He likes that she's kind but stands up for herself and even though he's hopelessly infatuated with her, he just wants her to be happy, even if its not with him. He relates to her struggles to fit in despite not understanding how someone so beautiful and charismatic (in his eyes) could be disliked by her peers.

Hackers Memory discussion coming up, but the spoilers are minor/vague. Frank discussion of sexual harassment and...pedophilia i guess? But its like...ephebophilia, not literal children.

I realize the Story games and the anime are two different beasts entirely, and Cyber Sleuth especially is targeted at an older audience. BUT... compare how JP is treated in Frontier to how Chitose and even Keisuke are treated in HM. Chitose goes after countless women and isn't even reprimanded for going after someone he considers a CHILD. To clarify - Ryuji and Chitose both call Arata a child. Arata is canonically older than Yuuko. Chitose flirts with Yuuko. It is gross. Like he gets the physical embodiment of the cold shoulder and you get to insult him for it, but that's not proper reprimanding. In comparison, yes JP is older than Zoe...by a year/grade. But JP gets accused of SEXUAL HARASSMENT BY HIS "FRIENDS" and Chitose just gets "haha good ol chitose, hes a wild one." Plus i think Chitose and JP get the shit smacked out of each other an equal amount of times in the story, which like...one of these people is worse than the other!

Then there's Keisuke, the protagonist of HM, who's significantly better than Chitose but still gets dirty thoughts about Yuuko and is only reprimanded by Erika. And honestly I love Erika but HM plays up the tsundere heterosexual couple aspect. So imagine the only person who calls you out on your shit is your fucking love interest, who also beat the shit out of you with a plush toy for entering her room without knocking, not knowing anyone was in there (id say hes not a playboy but considering he befriends a stranger to practice "getting chicks" at chitose's recommendation, hes totally a playboy) and yet all she does when you start thinking weird shit about Yuuko is be like "hey. Stop that. Get some help"

Also Erika's best friend is chitose so like, someone save this poor girl PLEASE

But my point is that Chitose is conventionally attractive and...well they play up the idea that Keisuke isn't but hes not conventionally unattractive like JP is.

Gee, i wonder why they're treated differently? /s

TLDR: JP drinks respecting women juice and i kin him