#just silly stuff it gets tedious idk

[e77y]

Every time I feel horribly overwhelmed by schoolwork, I just remember that next semester I have to take an internship ❤️ so I’ll be even busier ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ and I still don’t have one lined up ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[fuumiku]

Selkie AU

Ok so on discord we went off. A lot of this is just paraphrasing or copy pasted from buddies hii guys. It’s honestly a fun concept to play with no matter how you turn it around~ I’ll start off with the version I drew these doodles for but it’s all under the cut because it got so long... There’s also always place for different flavors like if they realize the other’s a selkie immediately or over time, etc etc so this is all just food for thought. Marcille is always the instigator though lol, obsessed with him no matter the universe. As a selkie wants to learn more about this human and as a researcher is chasing after this secretive mysterious sea-guy while he very much tries to escape everyone’s attention.

Fisherman Chil & selkie Marcille

Old sad fisherman Chilchuck… He drinks out at sea even. Divorcee dad who’s got nothing waiting for him on land anymore. He’s on the sea every day to get fish to sell at the wet market or to the butcher, the sky and sea’s grey and everything’s dull and tedious. Seals are nothing special either. The only stuff he knows about selkies really could have some selkie storybooks he reads to his daughters. Meanwhile selkie Marcille… You could go a lot of different routes I feel. You know I feel like being a selkie fits with Marcille and her mom, with that interaction of "you’ll have to let others go and deal with that", like in this AU she’ll always be different and will have to leave people behind for the sea eventually here and there and whatnot…

Chilchuck and worksongs... Fisherman Chilchuck singing sea shanties while selkie Marcille sings her songs of the sea and then she hears him and gets curious and follows him back on land or something…… Tries to blend in with humans just so she’s like. What’s his deal. But them only meeting out at sea is very cute as well. Eventually she gets on his boat and they hang out. Melancholic psychological horror sea tragedy-romance would be fun idk. Maybe he starts hearing a woman sing out at sea randomly and thinks it’s the alcohol. But he’d be a goner already lmao. Like don’t get me wrong it’d take a while of actual interactions for him to actually fall in love, but also ~~he’s lonely~~ pretty blonde woman waaaa. Siren imagery hehe. "Hmmm I didn't know selkies had hypnotic voices as well" (they don't. he's down outrageous and he knows it.) Mr "in denial so bad maybe magic is the answer yep for sure". I want her to hear him singing something he used to for his daughters/wife etc and shes like 👁️👁️ who hurt this man........... (Could also work for selkie Chil) What’s his tragic backstory…..

I think marcille also deserves to go silly and catch a carp between her teeth, giving it to chilchuck batting her eyelashes like teehee... I'm such a good assistant right... He needs them undamaged if he wants to sell them but he still makes use of her gift anyway... Puts it in a stew and shares it with her... Something we made together..… Marcille being able to taste human food with actual spices and actual heat and actual cooked meat... His home is the warmest place on the surface. His hugs are more comforting than even the water’s. AGH and how long hasn’t he eaten a real homecooked meal you’d bet 😭 Marcille notices he’s underweight and is like "he’s always fishing though??? Does he just need like, a lot??" and takes it upon herself to bring him more fish to feed him. "He NEEDS to blubber up. I know it." Do you think when his wife was still there he'd come home to the smell of cooking.... but now there's nothing......... He’s on his own, he sleeps in the boat… It just smell like fish all day. The stench gets to him and even the burn of alcohol in his nostrils is a kinder hell. NOW he comes back to the stench of roting flesh and he's like :))) ahh.... my gi rl firned 💖 /j

Selkie Marcille getting onto his boat out of nowhere and slapping the beer bottle out of his hand. It’d go hard if he’s so drunk once that he’s leaning over the railing with his bottle hanging down from his grip and the beer goes into the sea and she tastes it and is like. Now what the fuck is this. Ew. He doesn’t look so good maybe I should splash him with water. She could save him from drowning... Girl who puts him on a rock somewhere until he wakes up and hides in the water as soon as he comes to… Peekinh at him from the surface of the water because, oh dear we're shy now because it's face to face… Drawing parallels between swaying (drunk) and swaying (motion of boat on the sea). She sways his world…… Makes him feel dizzy in a nice, light airy way…… He crashes into his bed in his home and still feels the rocking of the waves under him, and he falls asleep thinking of her…

Go out to the sea in a storm because you can’t stand feeling useless. The sea is your livelihood, it's where you're good and useful. On land you never know what to do with your hands. Maybe he should just let the sea pull him under. let it sweep him away.  Marcille does exactly that, but it's not something that erases him. It's not something that swallows him whole. It's something that shows him a whole other world- The coral reefs, the schools of fish that exist below, the lush seaweed forests that Marcille treasures so much. It's all been there for him to see, theres so much beneath his feet. And all he had to do was let her take his hand. This world full of fish and creatures he's caught and gutted... that he gets to see in a different light…… The idea of him trusting her enough to let her lead him underwater... I think the time that Marcille leads him into the water should be on one beautiful evening, with the water shimmering, and the sun casting rays onto the waters surface- enough that it's still scary at first, enough that Chilchuck still struggles against the salty grasp of the waves, but when marcille takes him under he can see just how the light of the sun casts its spotlight on the seafloor- and how even in the shallows therein lies a thousand wonders, ones he's stepped right over before. I'm just obsessed with chilchuck experiencing a whole nother world in there. Give me childlike wonder. Give me a Marcille who wants to show her grump fucking fisherman boyfriend the cute fishies and the minnows, the pretty hermit crabs. Something about the sea looking different from beneath the waves... The parallels of him on the beach stepping over shells and urchins in the shallows with his boots and just crush them right over, not even noticing he did from force of habit and routine having dulled everything… Him working on the sea all the time but never really seeing it because he’s so absorbed in his own shit and he always just uses the harbor so there’s never real contact with it anyways. When the sea water laps at his forearms when he reels the net in but they feel like lashes of frost against his skin. She'd look really pretty with her hair flowy in the waves............ Marcille’s hair should get used for creepy compositions more… In the water she takes him under and her hair tangles and latch onto him against his skin. Her hair is long, underwater it could engulf him probably, he likes blonde hair he'd be happy with that… Not the lowkey suicidal ideation of letting the sea take him and how he’d be happy suffocating in her hair when doing a dive wow ok

I keep thinking about the Dredge AU… The video game yes yes. It’d be a mess but ohhh ohh the sea and its wonderful world but also its dark secrets, Marcille researching the depths and finding dark powers and idk the tragedy of a man at sea who can’t forget what he’s lost and the mythical gf he made that was never meant to be and it’ll destroy them both idk idk. Bc of Marcille helping him fish from below as a selkie, Senshi like YOU ARE OVERFISHING YOU ARE DESTROYING THE ECOSYSTEMMM @ them lmao You are feeding the whole town and making big bucks but you’re fishing so much that some fish are starting to get stale without being bought, the sea is bleeding and the leviathan is hungry

Maybe one time, one of them gets upset at the other and holds the seal fur hostage, its sooo mean but it also feels very them. When I think selkie I think of the movie Song of the Sea and in that movie the father of the protags loved a selkie, the mother, but she had to leave at one point for the sea because that’s her nature etc etc, but he didn’t want her to leave so he hid her skin which like. Ruined everything and hurt her. And ohhh the parallels… Leaving him… Just food for thought.

Selkie Chil & marine researcher Marcille

The reverse of that where Chil’s the selkie, Marcille’s fascination for him has the reverse angle, almost like admiration too. Crying she’d be like "who’s this mysterious guy, why’s he look kinda ethereal(selkie fairy blablabla)?" and investigates meanwhile he doesn’t want anyone to see him transforming and such so he’s like "leave me aloneeeeeee!!" Selkie chil? secretive man who just wants to chill gets grabbed by the most enthusiastic fairytale-obsessed girl out there. She WILL almost drown trying to say hi. C’mon mister mythical let’s have a storybook romance <3 Jumping in da water and he has to rescue her and immediately gains 100 grey hairs. She gets her storybook ‘saved by the merman’ moment but at what cost. "WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGG" screaming, she gets scolded very much but it all goes in one ear out the other tbh. Selkie Chilchuck is even better with his secretiveness... How do you get around the fact you’re a seal? Iunno I’ve never been a seal Obsessed with the implications of his family in this. Except if his wife and daughters were humans and so his work travels are instead selkie shenanigans going out at sea for months on ends, I imagine they’d be selkies too… Did they get separated? Die? Is Chilchuck’s cowl in this one Flertom’s fur? :(   Once more mentioning sea shanties Chilchuck btw, Roll the Old Chariot comes to mind… Ooough Song of the Sea from the movie that he sung to his daughters <33 I’m fine

With the researcher angle actually being pushed there are interesting plots and scenes you could think of obvi, but uh we kind of went off on the fisherman Chil Marcille selkie AU instead haha. It’d be cute if she ends up teaching him how to live on land in the end. Dresses him up like a funky lil guy. I went with tallman Chil when drawing it and selkie Marcille’s more elf-like, and for selkie Chil I’d imagine it’s the reverse where she’s tallman-like and he still looks like a halfling… Sea-related AUs are my weak spot <33

No matter how you turn it, Marcille is the instigator lol. Selkie Marcille: this little man… I want to know more about this human! Selkie Chilchuck = tries to avoid everything but this Marcille keeps chasing him! It’s her job to, Chilchuck minds his business!! He sees a sliver of something weird out at night? Not his job nope keep your nose out of that it’ll only bring you trouble. It’d have to really itch him at him for him to crack I think… Honestly he’d make a great lovecraftian horror protagonist lol. We love a girl with no chill and her nose in everyone’s business

Shout to to @dayundying, @cabinette, @soappox and @lucky-fydraws!! These people were there for the brainstorming and the writing of the scripture…

[crescentpaws]

the character everyone gets wrong

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

worst discord server and why

which ship fans are the most annoying?

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

worst part of canon

worst part of fanon

number of fandom-related words you've filtered

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

worst blorboficiation

that one thing you see in fics all the time

that one thing you see in fanart all the time

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

there should be more of this type of fic/art

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

part of canon you found tedious or boring

part of canon you think is overhyped

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

ship you've unwillingly come around to

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Answer all of em!!!!

(For KOTLC or any fandom that you really wanna do)

LMAO ok… if you insist ☝️ (dashes are for questions i’ve already answered)

1. -

2. still no comment on this one.

3. idk i can’t rlly remember any awful takes off the top of my head LMAO. haven’t even been here that long so

4. bold of you to assume i remember anyone i block

5. i don’t use rlly discord (wow these answers are so exciting)

6. sokeefe for SURE and i don’t think anyone can disagree with me on this

7. already answered but i need to say it again. KEEFE. maybe i’d like him a bit more if some people didn’t make literally EVERYTHING about him (also if people stopped commenting “this looks like keefe” on my art)

8. once again using this as an opportunity to spread my short haired fintan propaganda. that guy would not be able to maintain long hair. he’d accidentally burn it off or something. also dex is not a cinnamon roll. marella is bisexual, not a lesbian. king dimitar is irrelevant to me and the bit is sometimes annoying. alden is not abusive. fitz is not manipulative. keefe is not mature enough for a relationship with sophie. (+ princess purryfins is the size of a goldfish, not a full-sized cat! vertina is literally only a head, she does not have a body!)

9. -

10. sokeefe vs sophitz. like we’re not getting anywhere by arguing about this why don’t we all just take a deep breath and calm down a bit

actually i guess that’s more the fandom itself ummm idrk i hate how some of y’all demonize characters for the stupidest reasons (just being silly btw don’t take any of this too seriously)

11. -

12. -

13. dex honestly. tam too but personally i’ve seen it happen with dex wayyy more

14. i don’t read fics 😜👍 can’t ever find ones that sound interesting

15. people forgetting to draw the registry pendants 😢 guys give them back their pretty little necklaces

16. -

17. -

18. -

19. honestly no idea… i’ll get back to this one

20. again, the love triangle. also pretty much all of stellarlune LMAO. i swear most of that book was just them talking about stuff they were going to do instead of actually doing it 💀 also shannon was pushing the kenric / oralie agenda way too hard in that book tbh like guys kenric is dead literally nothing can come out of this. it’s irrelevant and i don’t care!!!

21. keefe 😊👍 again. does not deserve all that hype

22. fintan on the other hand….. also the peace summit scene is under appreciated it’s so funny (as well as every other fintan scene tbh)

23. gonna be so real back in 2019/2020 i was a hardcore believer of aroace fintan and i hated pretty much every fintan ship so. old me would be horrified to know what my current favorite ship is. (still basically hate every other fintan ship tho LMAO)

24. once again sokeefe vs sophitz lmao 💀 or honestly just fitz vs keefe. we do not need to be doing this guys.

25. “dex on the cover!” “dex needs more page time!” WRONG! we need more marella page time. we need another marella cover!! we need more fintan page time!!!!!!!!!

[taylortruther]

My thing is we can joke about Joe because we’re there for Taylor and as long as nobody bothers him on socials or in person of course it’s fair game, but somehow, as you and Rae pointed out Rae, some fans want to be “more mature” or one take a moral stance against it for any reason? Because they’re “big Joe fans” I guess? what do you think about this because suddenly everyone is a Joe fan when he pops up and it’s cynical but I don’t believe it

i do think a lot of people stan joe just to be the bigger person, which i think is silly. we see it on here, but also on a larger scale with fauxmoi and how quickly they turned joe into their little talented artboi. but others simply find it tedious because they know relationships are complicated.

personally, i don't really care about the jokes, i just don't join in because i don't really see the point. like, i don't even let people in my life talk shit about my exes, it just always feels too sensitive and complicated. and my friends are great! when i broke up with my ex, they all wanted to talk shit but that type of stuff has never made me feel better after breaking up. so i do get the impulse and i know it comes from a good place (at least when it comes to people i follow on here.)

so idk my thought is: i totally get why people do it. i also get why people find it tedious. in general, i agree that making jokes about joever and at joe's expense is not that big of a deal even if it's ~immature~ or whatever and the fandom could do with simply lightening up jfdakls

my thing is that i want more songs! i'll dig into the meat of what i think happened if i have lyrics or other public situations to dissect. but with what we have it's just not fun rn for me lol

[wolfstrong]

ngl id want to hear all your answers to the choose violence ask game about buffy

hehehe why not... i couldnt answer all of these cuz idk I'm not like in in the buffy fandom but here

the character everyone gets wrong everyone already knows what I'm gonna say... say it with me now yall... XANDER!!!!!!!! also I feel like a lot of people don't have the soul connection I have with tara. not that they don't get her I just know they don't get her like id do okay.

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom sorry I don't care about this kinda stuff

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr yeah anyway I'm not gonna put the image here cuz it will burn your eyes but the photoshopped picture of spike and angel duo sucking Rileys dick like girl. i don't even know if that's a take but it is to me. the take is that spike and angel would suck riley off. worst take ever and worst image ever

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person? I don't have anyone from the buffy fandom blocked.... smile.

worst discord server and why someone invite me to a bad discord server id love to join and be tortured. is there even any buffy discord servers? please let me know

which ship fans are the most annoying? obviously spuffy. very very obviously. spuffy fans are some of the most annoying ship fans of any ship

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? answered

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about there are a couple episodes that are regarded as some of the worst buffy ever that are actually some of my favs... "I robot you jane" "go fish" "bad eggs" all good and "beer bad" IS NOT THE WORST EPISODE. in fact I actually kind of liked it so there. xander/willow is a good ship you are just not ready for that conversation. Angel isn't THAT bad okay.

worst part of canon what isn't the worst part of canon. actually I'm only on season 5 so I think I have yet to get to the WORST PART. btvs has so many fucking issues

worst part of fanon it bothers me that there is like NO FANART for the show and pretty much 50% of btvs content is about spuffy naked sex bat sex crazy naked tits and ass penis sex

number of fandom-related words you've filtered zero!

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them answered

worst blorboficiation answered

that one thing you see in fics all the time I don't read enough btvs fic

that one thing you see in fanart all the time CLOTHES CLINGING TIGHTLY TO BUFFYS BOOBS AND ASS AS IF THE FABRIC WAS FUCKING LIQUID!!!!!! STOP DOING THAT TO HER.

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

there should be more of this type of fic/art on god we need more core scooby appreciation like please please more fanart of just files buffy xander and willow hanging out and smiling and being silly. i never have seen like any fanart of xander ever

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on... RAT AMY

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like... .... i already kinda said it earlier but erm.. season 3 willow/xander cheating arc when they kept making out. sorry. oh also kinda horrified I like spuffy but like that's normal everyone likes that.

part of canon you found tedious or boring tbh most the time I think the season plot shit is boring. i much prefer monster of the weak stuff. the initiative stuff was SO FUCKING boring most the time and any scene with Riley I literally would fall asleep

part of canon you think is overhyped I mean I haven't FINISHED season 5 yet but I'm getting to the end and I feel like I see lots of hype for this season arc but so far the way its wrapping up is kind of awful. erm

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores SCOOBIES FRIENDSHIP. SCOOBIES EVERYTHING. CHILLING AMD BEING BEST FRIENDS AND LOVE BETWEEN FRIENDS . AND WATCHING TV AND BRADING EACH OTHERS HAIR

ship you've unwillingly come around to I really didnt wanna like spuffy but I do. i don't want to like spander but I saw yaoi for a second idk maybe something is there. .. maybe.. xander and anya? though its more just like I don't hate anya anymore. i still kinda hate them as a couple.

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse defs spangle vs spuffy and also whether or not Xander is good.

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing SHUT UP ABOUT JOSS WHEDON BEING PROBLEMATIC IM SORRY TO BE THAT BITCH I DONT CARE. SORRY . BUT I DONT. its like literally all anyone has to say

[syrupspinner]

i completed Stardew Valley 1.6

and the previous version, by extension

so, i have previously got all of the achievements in Stardew Valley... version 1.5. back then, the hardest part was crafting all the items. at the time i figured it was because the achievement itself didnt change, but it changed in scope because of the additional content. by adding qi-exclusive recipes, the qi content was made from a bonus post-game objective to mandatory for completion. which makes sense, its weird to call yourself a completionist if you dont have 100% of the meaningful... items, quests, whatever. just an interesting note to start out on

for 1.6, my first job was the achievements id already done and just had to retrigger. going to the movies, ginger island, bottom of the mines, and the holiday events. note how i didnt say the summit: it wasnt an achievement, so i didnt go for it. i focused on stuff like fectors quest and my joja save file instead. so that would be my next goal!

oh yeah and i got that sword. i had the materials so it was a one day affair

so now i can focus on perfection. in addition to the silly raccoons, of course. after a night storm (it triggered for me like, night 3 of my first session, so idk if i just got lucky or if it was queued) they request stuff that relate to the new update, like from the new dehydrator. but the cooldown between requests is like a week, so then i can work on perfection

so in the process of my 1.5 completionism i had already done most of the work. all that was left now was the new recipes and items, the golden clock, mastery, and making friends with everyone. that first one seems the easiest, lets start there.

it was mostly trivial. catching one new fish, using the new artisan items the raccoons showed me, and the new crafting recipes were straightforward to. now i can do mastery by turning my junimos off and scything the farm myself. oh hey, this unlocked some more recipes. i already have some moss from the other ones, i should be able to scrape together th

three

three hundred and thirty three moss.

okay

for the next 15 hours of gameplay, my life was marching around town with an inventory full of random crap that the unfriendeds happened to enjoy. these happened to be all the characters i cared about the least, like willy dwarf and penny. no offence if shes your fave; we just dont get along. i dont care what the wiki says, dont fuck with someones wheelchair. also, alex takes rejection fine, but shes back to 0 friendship? whatever, im distracted

while im doing laps, im scouring every tree i see for moss. by the time i only have alex penny and emily to befriend, i have 200 moss.

then green rain happens and i have 500

okay.

i knew that green rain was good for moss, but the way i kept seeing people complain that it was only one day a year and still not enough, i assumed that it would be really meagre, like +50. instead it gave me more than a years worth of moss. i didnt collect any more moss after that, i was well and truly set

so with that stupid blessed statue build, time to powerlevel friendship. gift, talk, movie, bed. gift, talk, bed. talk, bed. talk, bed. talk, bed. talk, bed. talk, bed. one tedious season and thats over with.

hows the clock? well, i turned my junimos back on after i got mastery, and theyve been going wild on my corn and coffee. combine that with the three barns filled entirely with pigs inexplicably named after touhou characters, and the 5mil i started with was at 8mil now. in addition, i spent some time actually setting up the ginger island farm with nothing but cactus fruit for reasons i have forgotten. after that was set up, i slowly converted it to an ancient fruit farm with nothing but one seed, a seed maker, and determination. unfortunately by the time the ancient fruit farm was fully grown and ready to be harvested i could afford the clock regardless from the pelican town profit so... oh well. i didnt go on ginger island again after that

so ive been playing for about a week straight at this point, just to give you an idea of how monotonous this all was. i would like to emphasize that this is entirely my fault, kinda. ysee the new additions are meant to be enjoyed as you progress through the game normally. youre not supposed to just blindly powerlevel one achievement at the time, youre supposed to slowly increment towards all of the separately over the course of your entire playtime. since i didnt start a new farm, i didnt have the 'entire playtime' anymore. no community centre to build, no golden walnuts to hunt, no qi to work for, no mines to reach the bottom of

this was about to become a much, much bigger problem

if i go onto tvtropes and Well-Read isnt listed under 'that one achievement' im gonna be curmudgeonly confused. throughout my whole playtime, i had visited the bookseller every time he appeared - 2/28 days every month, at random - and i was still missing 5 books. all of them had a rare chance of showing up for sale, and i just wasnt getting lucky. so, i kept trying. sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, check bookseller... sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, check bookseller... sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, you get it. this went on for two in-game years before i gave up on the remaining two books i had left: the book of mysteries and the treasure appraisal guide. lets do the first one, i guess?

i spend a few seasons sleep-grinding for mystic syrup and use up the last of my moss to make those totems that summon artifact spots, making about 20 in total. from this, i got a bunch of crap, and 15 mystery boxes. took em to clint, and got nothing for my trouble. if only i had some larger long-term goal to work towards that i could focus on while i slowly accrue mystery boxes over my entire playtime. alas, i have literally nothing left to do other than farm for mystery boxes, and from what ive researched this is the best way. i am not starting a new playthough just for this, thatd take months. i gotta find a way to do this more efficiently...

are you familiar with billy mitchell, world famous video game champion? he could probably do it, so i gotta find a way to harness his power. and i think i know just how to do it

thats right, were gonna [MysteryBox]

it took 37 boxes, in addition to the 15 i already went through. considering that the alternative to cheating starting the race in second gear is to: go fishing all day, waiting for the chance to catch a fish, which give 25% chance to get a treasure chest (if you have two treasure lures like i did), which has a ~12% chance to contain a mystery box, which has a 0.5% chance to be the book i need, i am very glad i did literally anything else

so thats done! all thats left is the treasure appraisal guide. im just gonna sleep for the bookseller chance again, theres no way ill go two in game years without seeing it right?

okay this isnt working. the alternative is just getting one out of an artifact trove, right? i think i got like... a single digit number in my playthrough, but i wasnt really trying to get them. how do i

oh okay

are you familiar with billy mitc-

and dear lord am i glad i didnt try any of that. i went through ninety nine artifact troves before i got that stupid book

this was not worth it at all and i advise people, if you are dead set on completing this game, do it from a new save file. i spent days on this monotony instead of just biting the bullet and starting from the beginning like i shouldve

id like to take a moment and say that i like 1.6 and stardew valley in general. it was a little grindy, but i had a great time working towards all the achievements when i first played the game in 1.5, even if the queen of sauce or whatever was a bit tedious. it is fair and reasonable if youre playing from the beginning. you dont have to delete your current farm or anything, and you can still enjoy it casually. but if youre going for completion, i sincerely promise youll have a way better time starting fresh. for context, my farm was four an a half years old when i stopped playing, and nine years old when i ended. it took the length of an entire additional playthrough to grind out random events/drops. do not make the same mistake

[robotpussy]

unfortunately I still question why anyone would have a crush on me 😭😭

[queenlua]

hey, i started following you recently and ur bio says ur a hacker? any tips on where to start? hacking seems like a v cool/fun way to learn more abt coding and cybersecurity/infrastructure and i'd like to explore it but there's so much on the internet and like, i'm not trying to get into anything illegal. thanks!

huh, an interesting question, ty!

i can give more tailored advice if you hit me up on chat with more specifics on your background/interests.

given what you've written here, though, i'll just assume you don't have any immediate professional aspirations (e.g. you just want to learn some things, and you aren't necessarily trying to get A Cyber Security Job TM within the next three months or w/e), and that you don't know much about any specific programming/computering domain yet.

(stuff under cut because long)

first i'd probably just try to pick some interesting problem that you think you can solve with tech. this doesn't need to be a "hacking" project at first; i was just messing around with computers for ages before i did anything involving security/exploitation.

if you don't already know how to program, you should ideally pick a problem you can solve via programming. for instance: i learned a lot back in the 2000s, when play-by-post forum RPGs were in vogue.  see, i'd already been messing around, building my own personal sites, first just with HTML & CSS, and later on with Javascript and PHP.   and i knew the forum software everyone used (InvisionPowerBoard) was written in PHP.  so when one of the admins at my RPG complained that they'd like the ability to set multiple profile pictures, i was like, "hey i'm good at programming, want me to create a mod to do that," and then i just... did. so then they asked me to program more features, and i got all the sexy nerd cred for being Forum Mod Queen, and it was a good time, i learned a lot.

(i also got to be the person who was frantically IMed at 2am because wtf the forum is down and there's an inscrutable error, what do??? basically sysadmining! also, much less sexy! still, i learned a lot!)

the key thing is that it's gotta be a problem that's interesting to you: as much as i love making dorky sites in PHP, half the fun was seeing other people using my stuff, and i think the era of forum-based RPGs has passed. but maybe you can apply some programming talents to something that you are interested in—maybe you want to make a silly Chrome extension to make people laugh, a la Cloud to Butt, or maybe you'd like to make a program that converts pixel art into cross-stitching patterns, maybe you want to just make a cool adventure game on those annoying graphing calculators they make you use in class, or make a script for some online game you play, or make something silly with Arduino (i once made a trash can that rolled toward me when i clapped my hands; it was fun, and way easier than you'd think!), whatever.

i know a lot of hacker-types who got their start doing ROM hacking for video games—replacing the character art or animations or whatever in old NES games. that's probably more relevant than the PHP websites, at least, and is probably a solid place to get started; in my experience those communities tend to be reasonably friendly to questions. pick a small thing you want to do & ask how to do it.

also, a somewhat unconventional path, but—once i knew how to program a bit of Python, i started doing goofy junk, like, "hey can i implemented NamedTuple from scratch,” which tends to lead to Python metaprogramming, which leads to surprising shit like "oh, stack frames are literally just Python objects and you can manually edit them in the interpreter to do deliberately horrendous/silly things, my god this language allows too much reflection and i'm having too much fun"... since Python is a lot of folks' first language these days, i thought i'd point that out, since i think this is a pretty accessible start to thinking about How Programs Actually Work under the hood. allison kaptur has some specific recommendations on how to poke around, if you wanna go that route.

it's reasonably likely you'll end up doing something "hackery" in the natural course of just working on stuff. for instance, while i was working on the IPB forum software mods, i became distressed to learn that everyone was using an INSECURE version of the software! no one was patching their shit!! i yelled at the admins about it, and they were like "well we haven't been hacked yet so it's not a problem," so i uh, decided to demonstrate a proof of concept? i downloaded some sketchy perl script, kicked it until it worked, logged in as the admins, and shitposted a bit before i logged out, y'know, to prove my point.

(they responded by banning me for two weeks, and did not patch their software. which, y'know, rip to them; they got hacked by an unrelated Turkish group two months later, and those dudes just straight-up deleted the whole website. i was a merciful god by comparison!)

anyway, even though downloading a perl script and just pointing it at a website isn't really "hacking" (it's the literal definition of script kiddie, heh)—the point is i was just experimenting a lot and trying a lot of stuff, which meant i was getting comfortable with thinking of software as not just some immutable relic, but something you can touch and prod in unexpected ways.

this dovetails into the next thing, which is like, just learn a lot of stuff. a boring conventional computer science degree will teach you a lot (provided you take it seriously and actually try to learn shit); alternatively, just taking the same classes as a boring conventional computer science degree, via edX or whatever free online thingy, will also teach you a lot. ("contributing to open source" also teaches you a lot but... hngh... is a whole can of worms; send a follow-up ask if you want that rant.)

here's where i should note that "hacking" is an impossibly broad category: the kind of person who knows how to fuck with website authentication tokens is very different than someone who writes a fuzzer, who is often quite different than someone who looks at the bug a fuzzer produces and actually writes a program that can exploit that bug... so what you focus on depends on what you're interested in. i imagine classes with names like "compilers," "operating systems," and "networking" will teach you a lot. but, like, idk, all knowledge is god-breathed and good for teaching. hell, i hear some universities these days have actual computer security classes? that's probably a good thing to look at, just to get a sense of what's out there, if you already know how to program.

also be comfortable with not knowing everything, but also, learn as you go. the bulk of my security knowledge came when i got kinda airdropped into a work team that basically hired me entirely on "potential" (lmao), and uh, prior to joining i only had the faintest idea what a hypervisor was? or the whole protection ring concept? or ioctls or sandboxing or threat models or, fuck, anything? i mostly just pestered people with like 800 questions and slowly built up a knowledge base, and remember being surprised & delighted when i went to a security conference a year later and could follow most of the talks, and when i wound up at a bar with a guy on the xbox security team and we compared our security models a bunch, and so on.  there wasn't a magic moment when i "got it", i was just like, "okay huh this dude says he found a ring-0 exploit... what does that mean... okay i think i got that... why is that a big deal though... better ask somebody.." (also: reading an occasional dead tree book is a good idea. i owe my firstborn to Robert Love's Linux Kernel Development, as outdated as it is, and also O'Reilly's kookaburra book gave me a great overview of web programming back in the day, etc.  you can learn a lot by just clicking around random blogs, but you’ll often end up with a lot of random little facts and no good mental scaffolding for holding it together; often, a decent book will give you that scaffolding.)

(also, it's pretty useful if you can find a knowledgable someone to pepper with random questions as you go. finding someone who will actively mentor you is tricky, but most working computery folks are happy to tell you things like "what you're doing is actually impossible, here's why," or "here's a tutorial someone told me was good for learning how to write a linux kernel module," or "here's my vague understanding of this concept you know nothing about," or "here's how you automate something to click on a link on a webpage," which tends to be handier than just google on its own.)

if you're reading this and you're like "ok cool but where's the part where i'm handed a computer and i gotta break in while going all hacker typer”—that's not the bulk of the work, alas! like, for sure, we do have fun pranking each other by trying dumb ways of stealing each other's passwords or whatever (once i stuck a keylogger in a dude's keyboard, fun times). but a lot of my security jobs have involved stuff like, "stare at this disassembly a long fuckin' time to figure out how the program pointer got all fucked up," or, "write a fuzzer that feeds a lot of randomized input to some C++ program, watch the program crash because C++ is a horrible language for writing software, go fix all the bugs," or "think Really Hard TM about all the settings and doohickeys this OS/GPU/whatever has, think about all the awful things someone could do with it, threat model and sandbox accordingly." occasionally i have done cool proof-of-concept hacks but honestly writing exploits can kinda be tedious, lol, so like, i'm only doing that if it's the only way i can get people to believe that Yes This Is Actually A Problem, Fix Your Code

"lua that's cool and all but i wanted, like, actual links and recommendations and stuff" okay, fair. here's some ideas:

microcorruption: very fun embedded security CTF; teaches you everything you need to know as you're doing it.

cryptopals crypto challenges: very fun little programming exercises that teach you a lot of fundamental cryptography concepts as you're going along! you can do these even as a bit of a n00b; i did them in Python for the lulz

the binary bomb lab is hilariously copied by, like, so many CS programs, lol, but for good reason. it's accessible and fun and is the first time most people get to feel like a real hacker! (requires you know a bit of C beforehand)

ctftime is a good way to see when new CTFs ("capture the flag"s; security-focused competitions) are coming up. or, sometimes CTFs post their source code, so you can continue trying them after the CTF is over. i liked Stripe's CTFs when they were going, because they focused on "web stuff", and "web stuff" was all i really knew at the time. if you're more interested in staring at disassembly, there's CTFs focused on that sort of thing too.

azeria has good ARM assembly & exploitation tutorials

also, like, lots of good talks out there; just watching defcon/cansecwest/etc talks until something piques your interest is very fun. i'd die on a battlefield for any of Christopher Domas's talks, but he assumes a lot of specific x86/OS knowledge, lol, so maybe don’t start with that. oh, Julia Evans's blog is honestly probably pretty good for just learning a lot of stuff and really beginner-friendly?

oh and wrt legality... idk, i haven't addressed it here since it hasn't come up in my own work much, tbh. if you're just getting started you're kind of unlikely to Break The Law without, y'know, realizing maybe you're doing something a bit gray-area? and you can cross that bridge when you come to it? Real Hacking TM is way more of a pain-in-the-ass than doing CTFs and such, and you'll learn way more with the latter, so who cares lol just do the fun thing

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Superman & Lois - Ep. 102 “Heritage”

In which the Sad Dad vibes and teen angst continues!

Spoilers!

Lois gets the opening and closing narration this week! And generally has more to do, which is nice.

The fam has officially moved to Smallville, so the boys are gearing up to start school...or are they???

Well, Jon is. Jordan is told he has to stay home until he can get his nascent powers under control because they don’t want him to accidentally flash frying a classmate. Which he almost did. Last week. 

Clark calls Jordan’s accidental heat vision an ‘ocular release of energy.’

This decision, of course, leads to some FAMILY DRAMA. Jordan feels like a freak! Jonathan is upset that they’ve had to move! Clark feels like he’s failing as a parent!

Oh and also the guy in the Master Chief suit is on the hunt for Kryptonite. Which is, you know. Troubling.

SO it’s off to school for Jonathan and off to the Fortress for Jordan!

Lois, upon Jonathan asking why Jordan gets to go flying with dad: “At least we have the radio!”

One plus side about the show being ‘grounded’ and ‘prestige-y’: the high school drama is of a more believable variety. Still tedious, but at least it’s not dated 90s tropes.

...Well, okay. Not entirely true. Sarah Cushing’s personality thus far is ‘nice girl who’s dating a jerk’ and yes, the line “What do you see in that guy?” is said aloud. So.

Win some, lose some.

MEANWHILE, AT THE FORTRESS:

Love the actor they got for Jor-El. He’s perfect, in that he feels like an homage to Brando, Crowe, but is also his own distinct version. I dig it. 

But there’s no giant key made of dwarf star matter because this is GROUNDED and REALISTIC and none of that SILLY CW NONSENSE, WE GOT HBO MAX MONEY. 

Back to the Lois vs. Edge plot:

For all the folks wondering how Lois working at the Planet was going to continue, what with the show being set in Smallville...

WELL.

Edge now owns the Planet, so he re-writes a negative article she’s written about him, which leads to her quitting, and going to write for the Smallville Gazette.

Which is operated by Chrissy Beppo.

Who is...named after the super monkey? 

Does this mean we’ll eventually meet other Smallville residents named after super pets? Like Marsha Whizzy, or maybe Kenneth Comet.

Seems a weird choice when ‘Bibbo’ is right there.

ANYWAYS.

Best line of the episode: “You know what babe? You do your Superman stuff, and I will do my Lois Lane stuff.”

MEANWHILE, THE SAD DAD VIBES INTENSIFY as Grandpa Jor-El reveals: Jordan...will never be like you, Kal-El. His human DNA is too limiting.

Which is a very interesting plot point (that was sorta mentioned/explored in Future State!)

So, about the boys: I still find them...mostly annoying. But I appreciate the dynamic they’re establishing: Jordan has always required more time and attention due to his anxiety disorder, and Jonathan has always had to look after him and compensate--this carries over into the new status quo where Jordan has the super powers and Jonathan further feels that his brother is getting time and attention and he needs to make sacrifices and changes for him/the family. 

This leads to a really lovely moment between the brothers at the end of the episode that I genuinely enjoyed, so. I’m hoping that there will be more of that and less of ‘drama with Sarah’.

(Also if you think that sounds a little like another pair of Super siblings...it does! And also hold that thought.)

The OTHER big twist is that Master Chief AKA Captain Luthor comes from a world with an EVIL SUPERMAN.

To be clear, the set-up is very obviously, ‘Our Clark will prove Captain Luthor wrong re: thinking he’ll turn evil,’ so I’m not seriously suggesting we’re in for a full-on Injustice situation. I just find it funny, how quickly they pulled out the ol’ evil Supes.

(The one we saw in Elseworlds doesn’t count since that wasn’t Clark.)

And maybe this one isn’t either! I admit complete ignorance as to the comics stuff they’re pulling from; I guess it’s somehow connected to Project 7734 (Which is ‘hell’ upside down, as any fifth grader with a calculator will tell you) a counter-Kryptonian force put together by Sam Lane, I think? 

IDK. Like I said, comics blind spot.

The episode ends with Grandpa Lane looking a bit spooked at the ominous 7734 keychain Captain Luthor gave him, and Captain Luthor still on the hunt for Kryptonite! DUN DUN DUUNNNNNN.  

And now, time for a segment I’ll call: Gettin’ Super Salty w/Stranger wherein I will stash all of my frustration regarding the fact that this spin-off doesn’t really want to be a spin-off.

Okay, so first up! As mentioned, the Fortress design has been changed because the silly Supergirl version does not vibe with the new serious aesthetic.

Their loss! More Legion Rings, baby Sun Eaters, and impractical front door keys for Supergirl!

The sunstone AI details the last days of Krypton, and only one (1) pod is shown escaping the destruction.

Thanks, I hate it.

I do appreciate that Jor-El at least kinda appears to be wearing clothes that match the look of Supergirl’s Krypton. I wasn’t paying close attention to the buildings in the hologram, no clue if they match the architecture we’ve seen thus far.

Like, I get it. There’s no time to pause the plot and be like, ‘hey, just FYI, I’m not the sole survivor of Krypton, my cousin escaped as well’ but also AAAARRRRRGHHHHHH. 

You’re using the versions of the characters introduced in Supergirl, the least you can do is namedrop her once. ONCE. That’s all I’m asking. XD

They missed their opportunity, actually; when the boys were like, ‘We have so many questions!’ All you had to do was slip in, ‘Are we related to Supergirl?’ Bam. Done. Never need to go back to it, you’ve acknowledged it, continue on with your solo Sad Dad adventures!

(Except I guess that wouldn’t work, since so much of this is built on Clark being the Lone Protector of the earth. If you allude to other heroes being around, your whole character motivation/struggle makes less sense.)

I get it but I don’t have to like it. XD

They shoulda just set this on another Earth!

Circling back to the sibling dynamic: I hate how now I really want Kara to someday appear on this show and hang out with the boys and be like, ‘ah, yes, I know the feeling, my sister and I were the same.’

That’s it, that’s all the crossover content I need. I realize Melissa is moving on to bigger and better things but MAYBE SOMEDAY. XD (Or maybe I’ll just write a fic, who knows.)

I can’t remember if I brought this up already but it is hilarious to me that anyone still thinks of Superman as a reporter--most modern takes treat it as an afterthought and here, it’s dispensed in the first episode.

It has not been brought up since.

Like, much is made about Lois leaving Metropolis, and what that’ll mean for her career, but no one in Smallville is like, ‘Clark, wow! Farming? That’s quite a career change!’

(I assume he’ll be farming, since they mentioned starting the farm up again.)  

...You think anyone will drag the writers for tossing aside Clark’s ‘true calling?’ 

Who am I kidding? Supergirl fandom is not watching this show, they’re just harassing the people running the social media accounts. 

SO OVERALL: The good remains good! The meh remains meh! I appreciate that this version of Clark and Lois exist as we inch ever closer to the release of the Snyder Cut! But also the behind-the-scenes stuff continues to hang over everything like a terrible cloud! Here’s hoping those problems are addressed!

[mildswearingat4am]

This isn’t a nano update exactly but I finished my partial post-draft outline! I now remember what I’ve written, which is helpful :>

Rereading stuff I wrote literal years ago was a trip bc I can remember what was going through my head when I wrote each particular section -- and little me was hung up on some very specific stuff

So much of the draft is just *characters painstakingly covering plot hole* *subverting tropes to be contrary even when it’s pointless and not fun* *spent hours researching one line bc I need to know if salt can be made in the forest for REALISM*

And I know why I did it -- bc a lot of stories I like do this! I like thoughtful trope inversion and intricate world-building!!

But I don’t think I can write that kind of story, and I don’t think I want to.

Gleeful silliness just feels so much better than “wait can I give this wolf glasses is it allowed where did he get them how are lenses even made--”, which just feels restrictive and tedious and makes me scared of making mistakes.

 Idk! It’s probably different for different people.

I just think it’s interesting to compare the type of writer I clearly wanted to be back then with the type of writer I enjoy being.

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

any headcanons for seychelles? i’d love to hear them!

Thanks for the ask! (You might want to look at this post, lots of great hcs)

This took me way longer than it should’ve because I haven’t really seen a lot of stuff for Seychelles to build my own theories on… but anyway here goes!

- She’s a nature baby; she feels most at home on the seashore/beach but never feels alone if she’s around plants and animals and stuff. Apparently, Seychelles has extremely successful conservation efforts, and has numerous species that are unique to the country, so yeah, Seychelles would love animals and plants and everything that lives on her islands. When she’s in a forest or near the sea, she’s never lonely.

- Also a corollary to that, I think she’d love gardening. Just like being near the earth and the soil and the plants is just really relaxing for her.

- Dresses! Especially brightly colored ones, those are her favorites, but she’s not adverse to wearing pants either, she just prefers not to if possible. Also she loves flowy skirts that ripple in the breeze

- Frets a lot, and a bit of a worrywort over small things.

- I guess related to that, she’s bit insecure, mostly because a lot of people don’t really about know her. I can see her quietly observing people she really looks up to (both in terms of personality and how their country is doing). At some point, she definitely said: “Taiwan, is my hair/dress/makeup okay? Does it look good?” Worries about her appearance sometimes, but 10/10 rocks everything she wears (even if she might not believe it)

- I think she’d be very proud of her culture, even though I think in a strip she laments over speaking a mysterious language (?). I think she’d like the fact that her people are so multicultural, and she takes a lot of pride representing them, making sure to correctly portray all the subtle nuances of her people.

- Related to that, she’s very tolerant of whatever insecurities you might have. She almost never judges people when they confess, save perhaps a bit of giggling if it’s something silly like a crush. But if you want her to be serious, she’ll do it for sure.

- Maybe a bit of an airhead? Idk I have no explanation, she just seems like that to me. However, she’s mostly sensible with a smidge of recklessness sprinkled into her personality.

- She’s really excitable, and pretty extroverted. It just takes a bit of time for her to loosen up to you about things she doesn’t like about herself, as well as talking about heavy/serious subjects

- The wiki says she laments over her high cost of living, and how she used to be “rich and strong, but has become poor and useless”, however: Seychelles has the highest HDI (Human Development Index) in Africa, at 0.797 (rounded to 0.8), so idk how she’s now “poor and useless”?? Like bro, Seychelles’s HDI is higher than a whole ton of countries (ex. China) that are a lot larger than it, so I think she’s doing pretty well off right now! Except Wikipedia says that real Seychelles’s class (?) gap is still pretty large, with the rich making lots more money, but overall I think she’d be OK with where her country’s at! Like things definitely need to be improved but it’s not too bad!

- Friendos with Canada and Iceland, they’ve had “interactions” in canon from the wiki, and I think they’d just be like the “forgotten” trio, since all three have stated (I think) that people tend not to remember them when they think of ____ (insert relevant geographic place). Also these three have a lot of wild areas in their country, so I think they’d relate to each other because of that.

- History: this is all coming from Wikipedia so things might be incorrect. Anyways, I was a bit surprised to find Seychelles didn’t have a native population and was first settled by French planters and their slaves in the 1700s (I think). When the English took over, they didn’t really change that many of the French policies? They just seemed to let Seychelles alone, but during WWI and WWII, it seems as though British-Seychelles relationships got a little tense, because they were sorta ignoring their colony and the economy was kinda shaky and stuff. So I see France-Sey as having a better relationship, they go and talk a whole lot together and they’re more on an even level now than in the colony period. I like how the wiki says France raised her, but I’m throwing the groping and perviness stuff out the window, that never happened (I think France as a colonizer wasn’t that bad??). I think England was more of her teacher, much as he was with HK, and he and Sey bicker more than with France, mostly because England is an endless nag and France is more carefree and lets Sey get her way more. They clash less on most things. I’m not going to get into the post-colonial period because the whole dictatorship/one-party rule is a fine line to walk on, but I don’t think she’d be ok with the govt at that time, to say the least.

- I think if she’d take care of kids, eg volunteering at a daycare or something, she’d like kids 7-10 the most; little kids are fine and very cute but she likes how the older ones have more maturity/awareness about the world around them while still maintaining this childish innocence and silliness, she thinks it’s really endearing.

- She’ll be really interested in most things anyone has to say (good listener), besides politics and offensive topics. Tedious things like paperwork and politics tend to bore her but she tries her best to listen to the important parts. Note taking helps her stay focused

Alright that’s it! Honestly this gal is really cute and she deserves more attention (says someone who procrastinated answering this ask for at least 3 days)… Anyway, I hope I did her justice! Request more if you like! Feedback is always appreciated!!

[spaceorphan18]

TDB Rewatch: The New York Arc

I was originally going to do a post for each episode - but you know what? I think I’ve talked about this particular part of the series more than any other part - and even though it’s been seven weeks since I’ve even seen an episode of Glee (!!) - I’m not entirely sure I have anything new to say about these episodes, so here we go with one big post for you. 

New New York

Is this still the best episode of the series?  Yes - I think it is.  The entire episode is completely watchable, the music is great, the Klaine stuff is great, everyone gets something interesting to do, Rachel is interesting again, Mercedes re-joins the cast, and even Artie has some funny lines.  This episode almost feels like a pilot of a spin-off series, and I’m a little sad we didn’t get to see more than this arc, because these characters still seem fresh and interesting - and this episode is clearly all setting up the status quo for living in New York.  

I’ve seen the episode so many times now that this one flew by, and while I’m always here for the amazing Klaine stuff - the nice thing is that watching the episode as a whole, I’m not bored with any of it.  I have no new meta to add to the piles of things I’ve already written and said on the podcast, but I’m glad this episode remains enjoyable even after a million rewatches.   

Btw - I still say they should have asked Adam Lambert to be a regular - he adds so much and I’m sad that this is his last appearance on the show. 

Also - I can tell it’s been a while since I’ve watched the show - Chris and Darren are really pretty.  Just thought I should remind you ;) 

///

Bash

So, while Opening Night might be my least favorite of the bunch, but I think as an episode Bash might be the weakest? And actually - I think it might have been better if the Kurt being bashed story line was a) more prominently in the episode or b) not in it at all.  It feels like it’s almost an after thought to Rachel’s (absurd) story - and there’s such a rich story with Kurt (and Blaine) that feels wholly untapped because it’s more about Rachel Berry and her feelings. :P  I do like the little bits of it that we did get, Kurt and Blaine are superb as they are in all of these episodes.  And I mean - it’s nice that Rachel gets yelled at twice for being a moron - even if the whole thing doesn’t hold together very well.  

Meanwhile, I’m not sure how much I have to say about Sam and Mercedes - I enjoy them as a couple, though I can’t say that I’m riveted by their story line. It is nice, though that Amber Riley gets a chance to shine since she’s been away from the show for so long.  I think the awkwardest thing about this episode, (besides Sam’s impressions) is the fact that that the two story lines don’t mesh well, and it feels like the episode starts off as one thing then pivots and does something else entirely in the second half.  

That said - the music is great, as always, everyone sounds really beautiful on all the Soundheim things.  And while I didn’t need two Mercedes solos - she is lovely as always.  

///

Tested

Who knew Artie having an STD would be such a fun episode.  Honestly, I think this is the best episode the show does about sex.  Yes, even over The First Time (even if I like TFT just a smidge more).  Each of the characters are in a unique situation, and come at sex in a different way - and it’s actually pretty cool the way the show handles it.  They’re not usually great with these kind of topics, but I really have no complaints about how they handled anything in this episode.  I especially like the fact that a) Mercedes gets to choose how she wants to deal with sex and b) they let Mercedes and Rachel be actual girl friends when it comes to a topic - again something the show doesn’t always handle the best.  Yes, for all the sex positive conversations in this episode.  

Also, the ‘I’m slut shaming you’ scene might be one of the funniest things the show ever did.  

The only one weighing this one down, and why it isn’t passing NNY by on my favorites list - is that the music just isn’t good.  I mean, all the songs fit the episode fine, and the performances are great, I just don’t like any of the songs.  

Also - Kurt is super extra in this episode - which really reinforces my headcanon that Kurt not getting regular sexy times is super grumpy. 

Anyway, I give kudos to the show for doing an episode that has some actual layers to it in all of its plot lines.  Usually, Glee’s pretty anivilish about everything, but there’s some actual nuance in this story - good job show.  It’s nice to be not spoon fed everything all the time.  

/// 

Opening Night

Well...  This remains the worst of the NYC Arc - and really, only because the stupid and a bit convoluted Sue plot.  Rachel’s arc is a bit silly too (really - I roll my eyes at the whole ‘oh no NYT reporter’ bit, especially when the dude just waxes praise on her like everyone else on the show) - but are some legitimately entertaining things going on during the Rachel side of things.  And I dare say the episode is a little underrated?  There are some good jokes and nice music, and it is exactly what you’d expect from Rachel’s first night (even if I still think Funny Girl should have been placed at the end of the show) and Rachel has been rather held back and used well during the NYC Arc so I don’t mind her spot light here.  

But man, the Sue stuff is tedious.  I kind of forget Will is apart of it (and did logic take some time off again? Because the Emma having a baby thing is...  let’s not get into it).  Sue actually has already arrived at her season 6 self - and even some of the early sequences with her kids aren’t bad, but there are really two scenes that drag this entire episode way, way down -- the date with Mario the restaurant guy, and the last five minutes with Mario the restaurant guy.  Oh my god - why is this the only thing they could think of to do with Sue?  I mean - everything about this plot line screams contractual obligation - needing to give Jane Lynch one episode during this 7.  But could they really not think of anything more interesting for her to do??  DId she really need a date so she and Rachel could sing that song together??  Ug - it is really frustrating that this takes up a third of the episode.  What a waste.  

But, I mean, as a whole, it’s not terrible in the way the worst of Glee is - and really, everything on the Rachel side (mostly) works for me.  It’s a good thing all that Sue/Mario stuff is pretty easily skipped.  

///

The Back-Up Plan

Hey! Another solid episode! It’s weird - the focusing only three story line lets the episode breathe - a lot - to the point it seems strange, lol.  But anyway...  

First there’s Rachel’s story - which I know people were annoyed that Rachel bails a month into Funny Girl, but idk - this seems like Rachel.  And this is the one and really only time she faces serious consequences for her actions.  It’s refreshing really.  Also - Jim Rash is a delight, and that audition scene is priceless.  

Meanwhile - Mercedes and Santana have a great story that I kind of wish there was more of.  Santana’s been gone for most of the arc so far, but I don’t mind her coming back - she’s rather civil and low key during these last few episodes, and it’s a bit refreshing, honestly.  Anyway - I like that pop business is treated with a little more realism than Broadway, as D’Shawn (Mercedes’s producer) seems to tell it like is.  But more so, I feel like there���s a genuine friendship between Mercedes and Santana and that’s pretty refreshing, too.  

And then there’s the June story line.  You know what? I really do not like June.  Sorry.  And I find it a little creepy she wants to mold Blaine into something of her own making.  I’m also... not sure what the purpose of this entire story was? Ah well...  At least we get some really lovely Klaine moments out of the whole thing.  

Bonus - the music in this episode is all pretty solid.  

///

Old Dog, New Tricks

You guys ever notice Artie’s eating dog biscuits in this? Weird things you notice when you watch the whole episode.  Anyway...

Hey - it’s that episode that Chris wrote.  And yeah, it’s a little awkward - in a - you can tell this is a new writer for TV kinda way not in a - this sucks kind of way.  I really wish Chris had stuck with TV writing, I think he showed some real promise, and writing for other shows would have been great experience.  Ah well.  It all just makes me miss Chris actually doing things that are not related to middle school fantasy novels.  

So, for the record, if you guys ever wonder who Chris is, seemingly, frustrated with? Watch this episode - and how he writes Rachel.  She’s been almost acting human in the rest of this arc, and in this episode, she really is back to being really awful.  At least multiple people get to tell her off again - it’s, again, refreshing.  How many times as she been told off during this arc? Not enough, but it’s been kind of nice when you string them all together.  

Anyway - this episode, as you’ve probably heard me say before, works pretty well.  Santana as a publicity is brilliant (and perhaps the best aspect of Chris’s writing), Sam and Mercedes relationship issues are handled rather maturely, Chris as Peter Pan is incredibly inspired, and the music is pretty solid (even if it’s not my personal favorite).  There’s even a sweet Klaine scene (though - I still maintain it was wise not to have Chris write too much Blaine).  The only thing that really doesn’t work to for me, and maybe we’re far enough away that I can say this honestly without feeling like there will be too much repercussion - I don’t think June Squibb is very good.  I mean, yeah - part of it is the awkwardness of the story itself.  But - Maggie just doesn’t work for me.  Sorry :(  

///

The Untitled Rachel Berry Project

I know a lot of people say that this episode feels like a finale for them.  And I kind of get that, I do. But, honestly, it feels more like a chapter break.  This episode is incredibly bittersweet - as if it knows (and it does) what’s coming in season 6.  But, also, it’s the ending of a show I kind of wish we had much longer, and I guess it feels a little sad to get to the end.  

The episode itself is solid - there are only really three plot lines here, and they all work pretty well.  The music might be the weakest element (I only like about half the songs in this one) but it’s got comedy and drama and warmth and sadness, and does make for a great season finale.  (It’s the best season finale the show did -- really, it is.)  And I guess - everyone ends up where they’re supposed to end up, and it works for me.  

I don’t really have a lot to say about it, or at least anything new to say.  It’s good, it’s solid, and while I’m super tired of watching TV all day, it’s a great ending to a really good chunk of TV.  

///

Final Thoughts: 

I am a little saddened that we didn’t get those two episodes that were taken from the season.  I feel like another couple of beats in the story lines would have worked wonders, and of course, selfishly, we’d have a little more of my favorite part of the story. 

Interestingly, though, I don’t know if this makes any sense - but I got the feeling the writers were always more comfortable writing stuff back at McKinley.  Like - they did this because they had the time, but they wouldn’t have been able to sustain an entire season writing it.  I know we could all come up with great stories, but I think it’s better that they were wrapping things up at this point, because the show feels like it’s headed towards an ending. 

I thought I’d get more insight about things watching them all in one sitting - but I’m not sure I did.  I think the show almost works better as a week to week so you can sit with each episode.  I think when strung together the arcs don’t seem as fluid as we have them in our heads now that we’ve spent years talking about each episode individually.  

Weirdly - the music of this arc is really hit and miss for me.  It’s interesting, to me, that a lot of times when the story is stronger, the music isn’t always as good.  A lot of other times, it’s vice versa.  The really, really good episodes can balance the two.  

I feel bad for Kevin McHale - who really had nothing to do other than be a giant STD.  

That said - one of the most refreshing things about this arc was the lack of toxic masculinity crap, as well as some of the best writing for the women ever on the show. 

I enjoyed the little bit of Santana and Brittany that we got - this was, like, the prefect amount of them.  

One of the downsides of everyone being paired off is that we didn’t get to see interesting mixed-up pairs - one of the draw backs of the show having such little time in New York.  

One thing that stood out to me, and god I hope I don’t get too much hate for this, is that Mercedes and Sam don’t really work... at least at this point.  Seeing the entire arc all together, it’s very apparent that while I don’t doubt how much they care for each other, they’re definitely in two different places in their lives.  And while I applaud the maturity that the relationship was handled with, it’s clear that they’re not ready to be in a long term relationship (yet).  

Rachel! Was bearable for most of the arc.  Yeah - there are still a lot of special snowflake Rachel moments.  But Lea Michele can do comedy well, and they let her do that.  

I didn’t find anything wrong or unusual about Chris’s acting choices.  **shrug**

Kurt’s mildly unhappy through a lot of these episodes - but much of that is at Rachel.  And really at his own place in life.  And the one episode where he’s super sexually frustrated.  

The Klaine stuff is delicious - and of course, discussed many other places that you don’t really need me to rehash it.  

It’s also unfinished.  

They should have made Adam Lambert a regular. 

Alright - bring it Season 6.  

[permian-tropos]

you know what I want to creatively vent so I’m going to break down one of the doctor who episodes and then do little script ahem doctoring

and obviously my taste in fiction is not the same as everyone else’s etc

I’ll talk about the spiders and donald trump episode so spoilers for the spiders and donald trump episode

problem one: the spiders

something went wrong with the special effects in this episode but not in the way I’d have expected. besides really bland mis-en-scene the effects themselves were acceptable. the huge ass problem was that the actors did not interact with the effects with verisimilitude. there were scenes where it’s like when the actors were told the spiders would be big they all were told to expect tarantula-sized and not medium sized dog size, because they really undersell the reveals. there’s even one shot where the bodyguard bursts into not donald trump’s bathroom where there’s a spider the size of a bull and he’s staring and aiming his gun down like this one’s medium dog sized. and then when the spider is the size of a dinosaur, they sort of act like it’s the size of a bull.

the webs have the same problem. they kinda look like halloween decorations but they’re still too impressive for how unimpressed the characters are. you have them walk into an apartment that’s absolutely coated in the stuff and they’re like “hmm there’s a lot of spiderwebs, a bit fishy that” when realistically their first thought should be “uhh this is kind of realistic for a halloween decoration”. usually bad effects are where the actors have to pretend something dinky looking is really impressive. but here, moderately impressive moments are killed by underacting.

problem two: donald trump

the main problem here is that he’s good in concept and some moments kind of half work but a) the acting is stiff and too blunt about shallow trump signifiers and b) he’s… likable? they have him do all these shitty things but he gets to quip and joke in ways you laugh with as well as laugh at, and sometimes he’ss like an audience surrogate especially since he’s the only one who acts like this spider thing is you know giant spider levels of aaaaaa. despite never doing a good thing he gets away with it with a mild scolding, unless he’s going to be a recurring villain, and it was a really defanged satire. because it couldn’t evoke the essence of why trump sucks and could only recreate the surface, imo it shouldn’t have been a direct one to one parody. they should have just created a character around the traits of a vain, vapid, boorish American capitalist.

problem three: the finale reveal

the finale reveal is that not trump’s company was dumping toxic waste which caused the spiders. there’s actually the raw material of quite a good story here, but this reveal really isn’t a twist or a clever deduction. they just spend the plot walking around until they find the place that has the answers and then the story practically decides to stop on its own. this reveal would have worked if it had been pushed way back into the middle of the episode, so that the scenes coming after it would be exciting and the scenes before it wouldn’t be tedious. doctor who often pads out plot progression with silliness but usually the jokes are, like, funnier, and the illusion of a faster pace is maintained.

time to play doctor. script doctor. script doctor who

first of all. we’re told the spiders have been acting strangely by this science woman. completely told, without a shred of showing. if we’re cramming more content into this thing, why not cram some scenes of not-massive spiders acting weird? we can meet some minor characters around the city, and have a few comedic scenes of spider shenanigans. spiders in the park. spiders in a high school. spiders at the day spa. spiders in a pub. you know that microfiction that goes “but she was already pouring him a brimming glass of spiders”? that whole seven sentence story has a more entertaining use of spiders than this episode.

second of all. the trash that yaz’s dad has been keeping. almost any screenplay would do the chekhov’s trash in a rule of three, but this story hasn’t watched film buff youtube. add a scene where he’s picking the trash up from outside. there’s a comedy element to it idk. this episode really taught me why you need the Three. setup, reminder, payoff. and the payoff needs to be better. you know what the story obviously needed? for the dad to come back in and contribute to the ending. and the ending needs to be something actually happening.

so third of all. the biology of the infinite spider growth thing is bad but it really doesn’t matter. the emotional core at the end is the fact that the spiders are victims of circumstance too. the doctor should have had a more complex relationship with the spiders throughout the show  — and like, this could have been an amazing call back to the racnoss episode, showing how 13 approaches this differently from 10. but while she tries to be nice to the spiders, it’s not in a very meaningful way. also, she doesn’t really face the obvious dilemma of “the spider is about to kill someone but I also don’t want to kill the spider”. 

my gut is saying that back in davies who, there would have been at least one moment of the doctor letting the spider feed off of them. maybe I’m remembering a moment like this actually happening in that era of who? but I can’t recall any specifics. anyway there would be one big very hungry spider that wants to eat — maybe even faux trump — and the doctor would be like “take me instead!” and get dragged off an cocooned. either faux trump, since he was played softened and established to also hate real trump, would get a redemption arc around this, or he’d be ungrateful and bad to the end and someone like his bodyguard might get this redemption. the doctor would be found in a cocoon near death but it would have turned out that her alien biology let her survive and that this act somehow gave her a psychic connection to the spiders, possibly through something set up earlier in the episode. 

make a “world wide web” joke, we might as well. but for serious, if the episode established a few locations earlier where the spiders were acting weird, we could return to those locations and reveal the whole city has been connected and this is how they save the day. 

if the spiders are sympathetic in the end, incorporate the endearing qualities of spiders into the story. talk about mother spiders being protective of their egg sacs, and how artistic and beautiful webs are, and how strong spider silk is. do some charlotte’s web shit. make it a bit sappy. perhaps make it so the trash heap has some extra nasty stuff that has gotten out and that pollutant is the real danger, and the spiders save the day by swarming and wrapping up all the toxic shit in thick cocoons. it even might show how spiders are patient and industrious and good for the ecosystem, whereas in contrast, the resource extraction of not trump’s business ventures is the thing that traps local economies and drains them to a husk.

fourth of all. bring back murray gold as composer blease. guaranteed to improve the episode x100.

[sufferthesea]

Transitional Period

Okay so I feel really lame writing this but I think it's also important. I keep apologizing for not being super active on this blog anymore, and there's a number of reasons I haven't. Most of it has been health related but anyway. I started this blog because I hated my other blog and wanted to do something new with a fandom I'd been in for a long time (10+ years), so after talking with Katie ( @shiranuigenma ), I decided to create this Naruto blog. But it wasn't intended to be just a Naruto blog, but that's how it kind of ended up since that's what I was into when I made it.

The fact that I've kept this a 98% Naruto blog is awesome because my attention span and energy allotted for a fandom is around 3-4 months. After that I usually get bored or burnt out and have to find something else. Making friends and participating in things like Kakashi Week, and just doing art and writing fanfics, has helped me to maintain interest in this blog for a lot longer than I thought I would. So thank you!! You guys are awesome!!!

(Okay real quick I'm not quitting lol. I know it sounds like it. But I'm not.) Basically, I was getting so burnt out on Naruto that I was dreading getting on this blog and I didn't want to watch it anymore. That's why I've been MIA. I literally only follow Naruto blogs at the moment. I don't want this to become a trash blog like my last one that I abandoned, so I'm still going to be kind of selective with what I reblog. Anyway. To combat the staleness and burnt out feeling I had, I got into a few other shows with my friends and that's really all I've been watching (RWBY, RvB, and YouTube if you're curious). It sounds dumb but it's really helped me a lot because I'm not so exhausted and wearing myself out trying to be ~the cool singular fandom blog~ that I'm really not meant to be. (Yo, major kudos to those who can do that.)

So anyway, 2018 has been not super unkind, but very tough for me. You grow from challenges, right? But it's also important to not be challenging yourself 24/7 for 6 months straight with little sleep and locking yourself away in your bedroom. I am not Maito Gai. I cannot do that. So here's a few things about my blog that'll carry us into summer 2018 and hopefully allow me to be more active and not so stressed and sad!!!! Esp since I still don't have a job even tho I'm looking!! And I'm getting tired of ppl telling me “Well just get a job??? Just go get hired???” like !!! what do you think I am doing???

Requests are now closed indefinitely. I'm going to finish up the few I have, but after that I'm closing them. They were super fun but I have so many things backlogged that it hasn't been as fun anymore. I send love and thanks to all those who sent in requests while they were open! It was a fun experiment and I got to really test myself by writing for characters I don't normally write for!

Writing commissions are closed indefinitely.  I’ll complete the one I have, but then that’ll be it for now. These too were also fun and challenged me more than anything else I've done. I got to write some very unique and difficult topics and I'm so thankful for those who trusted me enough with their stories to do this. However, the amount of time and mental energy it took was too much and severely underselling myself made it difficult to justify the time I was spending. (I've read writers should charge around 1 – 3 cents a word. I was charging $0.001 cents a word lmao. Whoops. I actually don't mind but it is hard to make a living like that.)

Art commissions are still OPEN! And btw, I do have a ko-fi. I'm thinking about doing something like, one coffee = one bust of your character of choosing? (which is same price as commissions whoops lol.) Idk yet. I won't be doing any writing for ko-fi, though.

I was going to create a side blog for the other fandoms I'm in but side blogs are tedious and annoying to manage so I'm probably just going to start posting stuff here. If you don't want to see it, you can start blacklisting tags now. I'll be tagging things as #rwby, #rvb, #not naruto (that's my catch-all tag for anything, uhh, not Naruto). Expect a lot of Ozpin, Qrow, Church, and Washington because even tho I was inactive here, it does not mean I stopped hoeing around in other fandoms. Oh, also expect an occasional #game grumps because #dan avidan is way cute.

I'm also going to be posting fanart for other fandoms here too. It's been nice to draw stuff other than Nardo. I'll still be doing Naruto stuff (I have a ton of Naruto projects I'm working on) but silly little doodles will probably be from RWBY.

I'm also in this weird kinda scary period in my life with school and career options. I have a degree in English and it's always been assumed I'd be a teacher but I don't want to be?? I realized recently that I love to draw and I'm getting quite good at it (with the help of my sister who is my own real-life youtube tutorial for SAI), so both my sister and I are going back to college for a Studio Art degree. I'm thinking about getting into animation and I'm scared because it's not a secure or “traditional” job??? I'm scared because I'm not settling on a job I don't want or a field I just assumed I'd go into. I'm not good with big changes or going into things when it's uncertain, so I'm like ….. /anxiety increases/ But I'm hoping it'll be good.

Just as an extra bullet point and a reminder, I still really love Kakashi, Iruka and Obito, and all my other guys!! Don't think I forgot about them!!

Sorry this is 10 million years long but it was important to me to write all that. I'm sorry I haven't been able to reblog your art or fics and comment on them. I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you guys and responded to messages. I'm sorry I'm not as active. I've just been figuring stuff out and hanging out with friends, and watching other things so I don't grow to despise Naruto lol. So. That's about it. I probably forgot something.

Oh, I have 21 plants growing in my windowsill. 2 are decorative and the other 19 are going to go in my garden in the backyard bc they’re herbs and vegetables. And I'm going to cosplay for the first time next month and I might meet the voice actor for kid Obito. So. There's that.

[fortunesrevolver]

Okay so, I found this old Fluri fanfic in my GoogleDrive. It’s unfinished and unedited in any form, but I can’t actually remember the ending I was going for or how I intended to complete this story. Apparently it was started almost a year ago, so at this point I doubt the full idea will come back to me. I figured I might as well just throw this half-finished dork-fest out for everyone to enjoy. 

@suguelya - I am tagging you because I tag you in all my Fluri silliness and idk but feel free to laugh and judge this. 

Excerpt:

“Then let’s begin. Mister Lowell, you--”

“Formalities? Really? You sound like Cumore.”

“Professor Cumore.”

“Yeah, yeah. Professor Hearts and Tightpants. Whatever. If you keep up that mister stuff I won’t--”

“Yuri.”

“Yeah?”

“Will you please tell me what sort of havoc you brought upon the school today?”

“Just today?”

“Yuri.”

As the student council president there were many things Flynn Scifo had seen in his lifetime that should have been considered surprising. Yet, having known one Yuri Lowell all his life, there was next to nothing the student body could do that would manage to throw him off guard. It gave him a fortunate advantage over troublemakers who liked to see just how far they could stretch the school rules but, unfortunately, Yuri himself sat upon the throne of deviants. It was a position that, according to Yuri, he had never asked for, but he certainly didn’t deny either.

It was not at all unusual to find Yuri sitting in the detention room after hours with his feet up on the desk, precariously balanced on two legs of his chair as he regarded whatever teacher happened to be in charge of watching him with a look of indifference. Today, however, there had been a staff-wide meeting, which meant no teachers had been available to watch over the sparse detention room. Normally, this would mean the punishment would be rescheduled for the following day, but with a flight-risk like Yuri, who was more likely to skip class completely or find escape through whatever window happen to be nearest.

Not wanting to deal with the tedious task of chasing the academy’s most frequent offender down, the student council had been charged with the task of watching him. Flynn, being the student supervisor of the disciplinary committee on top of his student council duties, had volunteered the moment he hear Yuri’s name with a heavy sigh and a shuffle of papers as he tried to imagine just what it was Yuri had done this time.

He just prayed it had nothing to do with the screams and the horrendous boom he had heard over the lunch period.

“So…” Yuri’s voice pulled Flynn abruptly from his thoughts -- a dangerous thing to get lost in when one was watching Yuri Lowell -- and his gaze settled back on Yuri just as he was offered a suspiciously happy grin. “You got stuck with the low-man’s job today, huh? From president to prison-guard, that has to suck.”

“The job needed to be done, and I’m the only one who doesn’t fall for your tricks.”

“That’s not true.” Yuri shrugged. “Judy usually seems to catch on.”

“Judith is busy covering for me with Estellise, as I was unable to take care of my own tasks in lieu of coming here.”

“You? Asking for help? I’m surprised you don’t have a pile of work with you now.”

“I can’t afford to be distracted.”

“Aw, come on, Flynn, have a little faith.” Yuri’s chair hit the floor with a loud thunk as he swung his feet down to lean his arms against the surface of his desk. “You don’t think I’d just run off on you, do you?”

“Yes, in fact,” Flynn scoffed and crossed his arms. “I do. You’ve tried many times.”

“Aw,” Yuri grinned and dropped his chin lazily into his open palm. “And here I thought you’d stopped watching me all the time. It’s good to know you haven’t started ignoring me.”

Flynn scoffed in return and lifted a folder off his desk to give it a small wave of the hand. “Would you like to tell me why you’re here?”

“Ouch, cop tactics? Come on, Flynn. Don’t tell me you haven’t studied up before taking the test.”

“I’d rather hear it from you.”

“Oh? Why’s that? Finally realise the way the teacher’s write it isn’t as fun?”

“I know you’re too proud of the chaos you create to withhold any details they might have missed.”

“Trust me, they don’t know the half of it.” Yuri’s smirk turned into a smug grin and Flynn felt something cold run down his spine. Yuri had been all too thrilled about being in his senior year -- he’d even attended classes on an almost regular basis -- and Flynn had a sick feeling that, somehow, Yuri’s oddly clean personal record for the year had everything to do with the madness that had occurred today.

“Wonderful,” Flynn murmured and reached for his pencil. They were both going to be here for a while, and the unsettling thought that this might actually end with Yuri being escorted off the premises lingered briefly in the back of his mind. For all the times he had managed to talk someone out of expelling Yuri, if he had truly managed to set the metaphorical -- or heavens help them -- real fire, his hands would be tied. “Then let’s begin. Mister Lowell, you--”

“Formalities? Really? You sound like Cumore.”

“Professor Cumore.”

“Yeah, yeah. Professor Hearts and Tightpants. Whatever. If you keep up that mister stuff I won’t--”

“Yuri.”

“Yeah?”

“Will you please tell me what sort of havoc you brought upon the school today?”

“Just today?”

“Yuri.”

“Alright, alright, geez…” Yuri shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “No need to glare like that. You’re going to get wrinkles.”

It was more than obvious that whatever humour Yuri was seeing in this situation was not seen by Flynn, and if it was, he was doing a spectacular job of hiding it. When he didn’t get the response he had hoped for, Yuri’s smirk faded into a dramatic, drawn out sigh. Of course Flynn wouldn’t take the bait, he knew Yuri’s line all too well. It was both endearing and frustrating at the same time. After all, life wouldn’t be nearly as fun if he got away with everything.

“So it all started this morning with the bugs--”

“...bugs.”

“Bugs.” Yuri nodded and pointed to the floor, wiggling his fingers. “You see, a friend of mine knows where to get crickets cheap, so he hooked me up with a few big bags of them, and we let ‘em loose out in the hallways just before the break between classes so everyone would get to enjoy them.”

“Enjoy them.” Flynn’s tone was flat as he repeated the words, his expression carefully void of emotion as he laced his fingers together. “I see. Continue.”

Raising an eyebrow, Yuri tapped the toes of his boots against the floor as he tried to remember the order in which everything had happened. He’d stopped keeping track after the first few, but somehow, he doubted Flynn would expect that as an answer.

“Then there were the smoke bombs in the courtyard… We filled a few teacher’s desk drawers with glitter and put them in upside down--”

“Upside do--How...? No, nevermind.” Flynn’s expression twisted briefly in disbelief, but he quickly waved hand through the air for Yuri to continue. If he knew his friend right, it this was barely the tip of the iceberg.

“Then we set loose Rappig 1, Rappig 2, and Rappig 4…”

“Where was--” Flynn stopped and felt something in his stomach plummet as he rubbed his forehead. “Was there a third rappig?”

“Nope.”

“Are people still looking?”

“I sure hope so.”

Flynn inhaled and held his breath. He would not laugh; Yuri didn’t need the satisfaction -- or encouragement. He was supposed to be the adult in this situation. Since apparently the teachers could not. “...anything else?”

“Well…” Yuri trailed off, “A mutual friend of ours got a little excited in the chem lab--”

“Ms. Mordio, then.”

“I ain’t naming names,” Yuri shrugged, but the sparkle in his eyes was more than enough to tell Flynn he was correct. “But they got a little too excited with the original prank to just make some coloured smoke that looked dangerous, and that’s what the bang at lunch was.”

“Wonderful.”

“And after all that, we released the bees.”

“Bees!?”

“Bees.” Yuri nodded. “I think around a hundred of them.”

“Yuri!” Flynn’s voice rose, scandalised. “You can’t release bees in a school! People could be allergic--”

“We didn’t release them inside, geez. That’d be cruel to the bees.”

“I’m not sure it’s the bees we should be concerned with in this situation.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a good thing I was kidding about that last one then, huh?”

“You…” Flynn’s shoulders fell as he buried his face in his hands and sighed. If he were honest with himself, he wouldn’t have put it past Yuri to actually release a hundred bees in the front yard, but he truly did like to believe that his dearest friend had some level of control. No matter how low it might be. Yet it hadn’t changed the fact that he’d fallen for it. “...was there anything else?”

“We filled the principal’s office with water.”

“You--excuse me?”

“You know, glasses of water. We filled up a ton of little cups and covered his floor.”

“That…” Flynn trailed off, a tiny smile threatening to overtake the stern expression he was trying to hold. “That one may have been clever, but the rest was completely unnecessary.”

“What? You think I was just going to leave the school quietly?”

“I could have hoped.”

“That’s not my style.”

“It never was.”

“Never will be.”

“Unfortunately, no.” Flynn sighed and shook his head, the subtle smile once gracing his features quickly disappearing. “However, you realise I can’t simply let you slip out of trouble this time.” Flynn’s expression sharpened as he crossed his arms and Yuri knew his fun had come to an abrupt end. “You’ll be lucky if they allow you to walk, Yuri. What was the point of all this?”

“To have a little fun.” Yuri answered simply and shrugged his shoulders. “Everyone is so damn tense and uptight all the time around here. I thought I’d bring them a few laughs before I’d go.”

“I can only be grateful they were not as destructive as some of the stunts I’ve seen pulled here.”

“Well, you know, can’t give you too much of a headache. I’d never get laid if you were stuck here all the time cleaning up for the lazy teachers.”

Flynn choked, tripping over the desk he’d just moved past in order to bring himself closer to Yuri. His cheeks flared, taking on a dark hue in a spectacular impersonation of an apple. It took him nearly a full minute to compose himself before he spoke in a tone he’d hoped would come out firm and reprimanding, but it fell shamefully short. “Yuri!”

“Flynn~”

[libtard-blazkowicz]

Thoughts on Water Fasting

Okay, so I was just introduced today to a concept called "Water Fasting". This is where you just drink lots of water and don't eat for an extended period of time. Like as long as a month or even TWO MONTHS. I am not really an expert in medical knowledge, anatomy, or nutrition, but I'm pretty sure I can least several reasons why this is a bad solution for weight loss. However, if you do have any professional expertise in such an area, I absolutely encourage you to reblog this and leave your input along with your credentials potentially.

First off: Your body needs more than just calories. You need proteins, you need vitamins, you need minerals, and all sorts of things that just water won't provide. I suppose you could retrofit this problem if you drink mineral water or vitamin water, but idk. I personally think in my not very educated opinion that a better alternative (not necessarily great for you though) is to eat like just vegetables and chia seeds. That way you get your other needs, and at least some caloric content but not much. I suppose my “super-vegetarian” idea might be sensible if you are someone who is severely obese and needs to lose weight in order to get a surgery that you need. Again, I am in no way a professional. Everything I'm saying here is probably as much opinion as it is fact. 

Second: Your body like does stuff when it is not getting enough calories. The rest of your body and organs are unlike your brain and do not work based on cognition and intellect, and work almost entirely off of autonomic functions. However, due to things like the placebo effect, your brain may have some influence on things your body does, that however does not completely negate what I just said. So calories are really just a measure of energy. A calorie is equal to 4184 joules. Energy is needed in order to create power, do work, or apply kinetic force. That's just like really basic physics. So based on your metabolic rate, your body decides what to do with the caloric content in your food, and what kind of molecule builds up the calories. So when you stop getting calories, your body acts the same way it would if you were literally starving (starving is different from fasting I think). So it lowers its metabolic rate to save energy so that it doesn't have to consume fat reserves as rapidly. Then, once you quit fasting, your body still continues at this low metabolic for a short while, and your body actually packs more calories as fat in case you actually do starve and you need the energy later. So if you eat normally after fasting a short time, you will end up with like not much of a net weight loss/gain. However, if you do like a long water fast, yeah you'll lose plenty of fat (maybe some muscle too, and EVEN SOME ORGAN FUNCTION POTENTIALLY). But once you start eating again, you can pack on weight again at an unhealthy rate.  

Third: Rapid weight loss is bad! When you lose like a few pounds a day, for an extended period of time, resulting in significant reduction of fat, you get loose skin. Loose skin can be difficult to get rid of. Like, more difficult and tedious than just a month of your not eating food. Also, if you're trying to lose fat for cosmetic reasons and not health reasons, loose skin can be potentially as unattractive or more unattractive as simply being a fatass. This brings me to my next point.

Fourth: Do not fucking try this if you are only slightly chubby or above average! Having an extra 10 or even 20 pounds more than you need in fat isn't really too bad for your health. Certainly more healthy than nearly starving yourself! Sure, it may give you problems with your body image, and people might find you less good looking because of it. So if you are to lose weight at that point, you're really just doing it for cosmetic reasons and just losing weight in and of itself will not make you healthier. However, if you do want to look better AND be more healthy, go ahead and reduce your intake of junk food and try to eat more organic and healthy. Also, be physically active and exercise. 

Fifth: If you are seriously considering water fasting, your knowledge probably does not exceed mine. So there may be other risks that you might not foresee as the uneducated dumbass that you almost certainly are. From what I understand, doing this can aggravate a preexisting condition that you may have been previously unaware of and has not caused you problems as of yet. So like if you have Crohn's disease, IBS, kidney problems, intestinal problems, or bowel problems, it could screw up your shit for life!

Lastly: Here are some things that, yeah it might help with, but... Yes, if you are obese and it causing you life threatening health problems, this will give you results, and you can avoid getting a gastric bypass. However, you're probably better off just going with my silly "super-vegetarian" alternative idea. I've also heard that in addition to storing fat, your body also builds up toxins and free radicals, and water fasting may rid you of this. However, people who have brought this point in an attempt to aggrandize water fasting refer to this benefit as "detoxing". Your body already "detoxes", like before the things you consume even enter your bloodstream and your organ systems. That's what your liver does, and that's why you get jaundicing and feel sick and then die if your liver stops working. So if you have a healthy liver, and you aren't consuming mass quantities of junk food, your body probably isn't storing a bunch of toxins and stuff, and you aren't in need of a "detox". Most people who talk about detoxing and stuff are like the same people who believe in homeopathy and fake medicine. Besides, even if your liver isn't working adequately, your body has toxin buildups, and you're having symptoms of toxins in your body like the jaundicing and feeling sick, yeah maybe you do need some sort of detox like this. However, you're probably better off again with my "super-vegetarian" idea. Also, my super-vegetarian that I thought of pretty much on the spot after being introduced to water fasting, it's probably not the best thing, and probably not super good for you, however I'm quite sure it's superior in like every way to this stupid water-fasting shit. 

Please do reblog with things that you feel are worth mentioning, along with dangers of water fasting that I have neglected to mention, especially if you have a professional back ground! Also feel free to criticize fasting in general and providing alternatives. Thanks for reading. :)