#just some fucking emotional bulshit

[feathers-little-nest]

I have funny feelings rn. Realized that a person I changed for so much, and I changed for the better!, was so not worth it. But I'm still happy with the growth and I don't really want to leave them behind. They cost me so many sleepless nights and wasted evenings and I still don't want to leave them, fuck

[gallusrostromegalus]

I love everything you are doing with Orihime, if it's not too much troble, I wanted to hear more of what she does when she get kidnapped. Also did Rukia try anything when she got sentenced to death for bulshit crimes? It's been forever since I read the manga, so I don't remember what rukia was feeling exactly during this time, if she accepted the whole thing bc she has spent way too much time in the soul society that she just didn't see it how much bulshit it was or something else, or if it was just your standard damsel in distress thing

Rukia behaves in the calm, rational but firm way you'd expect out of a seated officer, especially a lieutenant that earned her position through hard work and demonstration after demonstration that she could be trusted with such a position.

...Byakuya, on the other hand, was appointed to his position by birthright as the latest scion of a long but narrow line of people who retained their power by violence as social standing. So when Byakuya experiences the psychotic crisis of "the people you respect the most want the person you love the most dead", the coinflip of his emotions lands on tails in AEIWAM.

*****

"...To Death?" She asked, staring at Renji.

"Yeah." He winced, shifting uncomfortably.

"...For a Misdemeanor Infraction that, per code 3.15.27846 sub-section 42-4, carries a MAXIMUM penalty of a month's suspension without pay while a performance review is conducted, and, pending the review, possible termination of my job, not my whole person?" She continued.

"...Um. Yeah, yeah that's the official rules per the Shingami Legal Manual." Said Renji. "It's real fuc- it's very peculiar and I'm honestly not sure what to make of it. Also, when did you learn to quote the manual like-"

"I'm a Goddamn Lieutenant, I know the law, and this stinks on ice." She glared. "I know I'm not allowed to question the orders or ask who issued them, but did you double-check that this is, in fact, what they meant to send, and didn't give you the memo for someone else or send out the wrong butterfly?"

"Um." Renji winced, pointedly studying the wall to his left. "Kuchiki-Taicho went to do that as soon as he saw the order."

Rukia blanched. "Renji. When did he leave?"

"He left for the central 46's liaison office directly from the 6th division's office when we got the order about an hour ago. I wanted to go with him, but he insisted that he could handle it and that you should get the news from me rather than a stranger."

"Abarai Renji." She spoke, voice low and dangerous. "Do you remember what happened the first day I came home from the 13th division boot camp with that shiner?'

"Yeah, Kuchiki-taicho broke into Ukitake-taicho's house with Senbonsakura at 2AM because he thought someone had hit yo-" Renji laughed then stopped. "-Oh."

"You let my brother, the absolute last person you can expect to behave in a rational and restrained manner to any perceived threats to my person, go off to visit someone who just issued an order for my extermination? UNSUPERVISED?" She growled.

Renji stood, paralyzed in wide-eyed horror. "I. uh. I gotta go prevent some treason." he sputtered, before bolting from the room.

***** "I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked uuuuuup-" Gin hissed under his breath as he ran through the maze of buildings that made up the central government's compound. "Sure Gin! Keep feeding him spiritual power Gin! It'll fix everything Gin! No way he's going to cause a massive inter-dimensional destabilization event Gin!"

He turned the corner to the central 46's liaison office, just to the side of the sealed gate, and sprinted for the small office at the base of the tower all Hell butterflies issued from, where the Gate's security guard and the Liaison worked.

"Hey guys sorry to burst in here but it's kind of an Emergen... cy." Gin shouted and then sputtered as something warm splashed underfoot. He looked down to find that the previously-beige carpet of the Liaison's office was now a deep and unpleasantly wet crimson. Behind him, there was a faint creak as the unsealed and unguarded gate swayed lightly in the breeze.

"Oh." Gin realized, wilting. "I'm in deep shit."

[its-to-the-death]

Bracket F thoughts:

Jesus flipping crisis, those fucking elephant calls in "Prowler's theme" are so terrifying. Also I really like how it's basically Miles' theme in reverse, both because of how it emphasizes the relationship between Miles and Aaron and because of...certain events in Across the Spiderverse.

"Candy Store" has that bitchy confidence, but "Mother Knows Best" is the emotional abuser's anthem par excellence. Like I could do a whole ask dissecting all the shit Gothel pulls in that one song to undermine and manipulate Rapunzel.

(She'd be one of my favorite Disney villains if she wasn't also a heaping pile of antisemitic stereotypes...)

I was liking "The Music of the Night," but then it tried to murder my ears with that organ(?) at the end, so I'll give this one to "What's Up Duloc?", which is also admittedly quite good.

One of these won the 1994 Razzie for Worst Original Song. The other is Rachel L Hughes playing a megalomaniacal dictator crooning about her space train (which she fucks) that definitely is not going to unleash Yog Sogoth ;). Vote for "Odin" right now.

"Dressed to Oppress" is delightful, but oh my god that reprise of "Good Kid" in "The Last Day of Summer" hits like a truck.

As people have discussed in the notes, "The Convoluted Reasons We Pretend to Be Divorced" is not that villainous--and frankly I didn't find it as much of a bop as some other PnF songs I've listened to. "We Both Reached For the Gun" is a masterclass is manipulation as Billy plays the press for suckers so completely he doesn't even need Roxy to speak for him by the end. Also the fucking puppet acting, wow.

...Ok it might not be the best villain song, but "Penny battle theme" goes so hard I had to support it. Sue me.

I voted "Someone Gets Hurt," but they're both great. That one was close.

"One-Winged Angel" is iconic and intimidating, but I personally prefer the energy of "Cell-Block Tango." The dancing is amazing, the lyrics are witty, and the chorus is an earworm and a half. I also like the use of visual symbolism with the red handkerchiefs to symbolize how each murderess killed her victim(s)--except the innocent Hungarian woman, who dances angelic ballet to their aggressive tango and is the only one with a white handkerchief.

Who doesn't love an unabashed villainess who destroys worlds in battle armor and sneakers? "I'm the Bad Guy" is a bop.

"Pieces of You" is a goofy and terrifying fever dream of a song, holy fuck. The visuals give this one the edge for me. Also, don't you want to support The Substitute? He's just a little guy :)

"A Freak Like Me Needs Company" ultimately just got kind of lost for me--it focused too much on villains in general and not on Norman himself, while "The Only Thing I Know For Real" is both a kickass rock song and a great piece of characterization for Jetstream Sam.

...I don't know, I like Zelena's actress' singing and I think it's funny that she's not cursed to sing in this episode and she's just doing this for shits and giggles. I voted "Wicked Always Wins."

To quote someone in the comments of the "Bloody Party/Welcome to Cake Island" video, "This is the most Disney-like bulshit [sic] I have ever seen in an anime, and I fucking love it." What the fuck is happening. Why are these people committing casual mass murder for cake ingredients. Why are inanimate objects singing along with this pirate lady. I don't know but it scares me.

"The Smell of Rebellion" really picks up in the end, and "Love For Peasants" felt a little too unfocused musically. Also, @thatsluttytiefling mentioned that the song gave them "war flashbacks to the choreo," so it is villainous IRL as well.

Oh my god how the fuck did "This is the Thanks I Get" get released in this state. The lyrics don't rhyme properly and are exceedingly awkward to boot. The chorus is bland as shit. The visuals are boring. There's no buildup from "I'm an underappreciated hero doing my best for the kingdom and nobody respects me enough :(" to "I want ULTIMATE POWAH through DAAAAAARK MAGIC" and then it suddenly just switches back to how it was before??? It's not intimidating and scary, it's silly for all the wrong reasons, it's not even particularly sympathetic, and it is reeking of trying to be hip and cool and/or being written by people with too little time and too few fucks to give. "Heaven on Their Minds" is very good in its own right, but I kind of already knew which one was better before I even heard it, because this song just...doesn't do its job.

I agree that the villain Phineas and Ferb songs aren't among the best the show has to offer.

[hyunjilicious]

3:11am [captain syverson]

Summary: you’re just an army medic so in order to have your voice heard you need to go straight to the captain with your ideas, right? And what better way to do it, if not at 3:11am in his room? (SMUT) 4.3k

Warnings: daddy kink, size kink, unprotected sex, Sy is a little bit of ass, dirty talk, manhandling, a tad bit of humiliation/degradation.. :) I didn’t go too far.

Feedback makes my day! Maybe tell me what you thought? Please? :)

-

Danger loomed at every corner. And you couldn't have been oblivious to it. Every one was either panicked or enraged, both emotions driven by the ongoing terror forced upon your group as you have been caught in the crossfire. The conflict you found yourselves stuck in was generations old, and the fact that you had hidden eyes, watching your moves from every shadow, was as unsettling as it could be.

You crossed the camp on high alert, even if those were supposed to be safe grounds. Laughter was audible from the tents nearby, yet the fear never left your bones. Palms cold but still damp with nervous sweat, you counted the steps you had to take until you reached your destination. Ever since you left your designated bunk, you've been picturing the stairs that led down to Captain Syverson room, and now they were mere meters in front of you, but you still felt like you couldn't breathe. 

Even when you reached the door, you still couldn't swallow the lump in your throat. And the fact that it was unlocked, made you all the more nervous. 

You didn't want to knock. The lights were all off, and you were afraid the sound would draw unnecessary attention. So, going against your gut, you slowly pushed the door open, cautiously stepping inside.

Dead silence.

Only a pair of red glowing numbers were visible in the thick darkness, showing you just how late and unacceptable it was for you to be there. 3:11 am. Not only should you have been asleep for hours, but you were also pretty sure that if you were to be awake, the bunk was the place where you should be counting the sheep until you dozed off. 

From memory, you turned to the left, picturing inside your mind where the door that led to the hallway was supposed to be. You probably managed to get about two steps in before, from the suffocating darkness to your left, a loud clattering noise was heard, before a pair of strong arms restrained you. 

Only a gasp managed to escape your lips before your mouth was forced shut by a hand, aggressively making it impossible for you to make any sound. Realising kicking and squirming in this person's hold would be of absolutely no use, you raised your left leg in the air, gathering momentum for a strategic hit. But the blow was never delivered.

"Shh!!!" 

Despite threatening and capable of making anybody's blood run cold, that southern accent was impossible to mistake. 

"Don't fucking move" he said again.

With your brain soaked in adrenaline, obeying his command sounded near impossible. You fidgeted against his rock hard chest, and all it did for you was get him to tighten his hold.

"I don't know if your eyes got accustomed to the dark yet" captain Syverson said through gritted teeth, "But at about 2 o'clock, MacGregor is sleeping. If you wake him up, we're both dead"

You swallowed the information with difficulty, but it relaxed you to some extent. However, despite calming down and not showing any signs of wanting to put up a fight anymore, Sy didn't let you go.

Instead, with high precision, he dragged you through the darkness, and across the room, right where you were initially planning to go. Clutching the hand that was still roughly pressing down against your lips, you stumbled obediently in every direction he dragged you to. When you reached a plain black door, he opened it with maximal caution, and pushed you inside, before turning around to close it in the same silent manner.

You stumbled a few steps forward before regaining your balance as your knees have probably never been weaker. Struggling to catch your breath, you saw Sy turn and face you, the coldest of death stares plastered on his blue eyes.

"The fuck you doin' here, hm?" he growled, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I-" you said, squinting in the neon light of the tiny room, "I have an idea for the crew, it's-"

"Don't fucking care what idea you got, darlin'" he shook his head, taking another step in your direction, "Do you even know what time it is?"

"Late" you sighed, stating the obvious.

"Damn right it's late" he nodded, "What I wanna know now is why you were stupid enough to sneak all the way over here, when you know-"

"No one saw me, Sy" you exclaimed.

A grin tilted the corner of his lips upwards, "I fucking saw you"

"Yeah but-" you stopped to frown as confusion hit you, "How did you see me?"

"Listen here, little girl" he taunted, each word more threatening as he started to close the distance that was keeping you apart, "You're a doctor, not a soldier, fixing our shit is none of your business. Two, you don't report to me-" he said, nodding his head to the side, "And three, I'm sure no idea was too urgent that you couldn't wait until the morning"

Calling you out like that was completely unnecessary. You had been lying to yourself, claiming the reason for your late night visit was purely selfless, however when you heard the words come out of his mouth, you realised just how strongly you had been bulshitting yourself.

"Fine-" you huffed with annoyance, getting ready to walk past him, "You want me to leave? I'll leave"

"Nuh-uh" he shook his head, grabbing you by the forearm. He didn't move any other muscle of his body and continued talking without turning to look at you, "You're a smart woman, tell me why you're really here"

"Because I wanna help!" you rolled your eyes - a lie you almost believed yourself.

"Try again, doll" he commanded, tightening his grip. The fact that you felt a bruise already forming riled you up, but it wasn't enough to get you to cooperate in the way he wanted you to.

Once you realised what he was waiting to hear, you shook your head in disbelief, "You got no class!"

After spitting the anger filled words in his direction, you tried to free your arm, and walk away, but he wasn't having it.

"Well-" Sy took a deep breath, harshly spinning you around and slamming you face first against his desk, "If you had any, you wouldn't be here now, would you?"

Knees weak under his heavy presence, you gathered all your strength into your arms, planting your palms against the metal surface of the desk in order to push yourself up.

All it took him to cancel your intentions was an effortless shove against your upper back. He got you back down in under a second with a loud thud, but this time he bent down too, towering above you.

"Now that you saw your antics don't work with me-" he growled directly into your ear, his thick beard tickling the skin of your neck. Sy lodged his hand into your hair, curling his fingers around your roots and forcing your head back, "Mind telling me why you're really here? We can do this until the morning, I ain't tired"

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" you huffed through gritted teeth.

"What? Seeing you squirming under me with absolutely no say in what's about to happen to that sweet little pussy of yours? Yes, very much so"

"Fuck you"

"Isn't that why you came here?" Sy taunted.

He grunted, shaking his head in disbelief. "Try again" 

This time, he didn't pull your hair anymore, and the sting you expected to reach your scalp never came. However, he bucked his hips into yours, pressing your body even harder against the desk. With every time and every way his body brushed against yours, the pain between your legs grew stronger and stronger. But still, you didn't want to word your need, instead just settled for milking every last drop of this unexpected turn of events. About 15 minutes before, when you had just left your room, you weren't sure you would even get to talk to him, let alone end up in this situation. Under him. His cock shamelessly pressing up against your ass, as every word that came out of his mouth only managed to make you crave him more.

"Are gonna tell me, hm?" he moaned into your ear, the weight of his body on top of yours becoming difficult to bear. "Or am I gonna have to force the words out of you?"

The way he talked, honey sweet yet goosebumps worthy, his tone managed to crack your self control. Against your better judgement, you breathed out slowly, the pleasure in the back of your throat materialising into the softest of whimpers.

"Oh" Sy grinned, his right hand groping its way down your body, "Can't hide it anymore, can you?"

If until now you did a fairly bad job at hiding your true emotions, when he grabbed a handful of your ass, his fingers threatening to leave purple bruises, you dropped the facade all together.

"Fuck" you moaned, forehead pressed against the desk as you arched your body back, harder against his palm.

"That's my girl" he laughed.

Much to your dismay, after his deep amused tone reached your ears, he pulled away. Upset at the sudden loss of contact, you choked back a whine, turning your head to look at him over your shoulder.

Even with the lights turned on, he was facing away from the source, so that soft shadows contoured his features perfectly. His eyes hooded with greed looked down at you, and as soon as he saw the hungry expression on your face, his lips curled into a devious smile. "No, sweetheart. Face the wall", he said, nodding his head.

Reluctantly, you did so. Delectable anticipation washed over you when his calloused hands grabbed your waist. It was only for a minute, though. He roughly pulled you back until your hips passed the edge of the desk. You didn't get a chance to put two and two together before Sy forced your pants open, and pulled them down your legs, along with your underwear in under a moment. 

Flushed with embarrassment at the full, sudden exposure, you clamped your thighs together.

Without a word, he lodged his boot between your feet, forcing your legs open. "This could've been avoided" he stated, "But I don't think you wanted that. I think you wanted the slut fucked out of you"

"Come on…" you pleaded, lodging your teeth deep into your bottom lip.

Your entire body fired up when his bare fingers connected to your opening. He moved agonisingly slow, teasing his way along your lips, intentionally applying the perfect amount of pressure to have you crying for more.

"You know you're gonna have to do so much fucking better than that, don't you?" Sy chuckled, dipping his fingers into your wetness. "I know you can beg."

"Fucking hell-" you cried, squirming under his influence, "Please"

"No, baby. Tell me, use your words. I wanna hear you tell me how to fuck you. And don't bother holding back 'cause you know I won't"

"Come on, Sy-" you whined, trying your best to grind down against his fingers, "You know I want- I want you-"

A rough slap that echoed around the room attacked your ass, delightful pain propagating in waves across your whole body. You let out a tortured yelp, but it wasn't enough to impress.

"You already made a mess on my fingers. You're dripping wet, love. Why try to hide just how big of a slut you are?"

"I'm a slut-" you panted, breathing heavily through every word, "I'm a slut, please, I need you"

Another blow. This time, his palm landed on already inflamed skin, doubling the pain that fueled your pleasure.

"Need me to what, baby girl?"

"I need you to fuck me" you whimpered, tears running down your cheeks. Digging your nails into the underside of the edge of his desk, you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to concentrate around the ecstasy he had running through your veins. "I need your cock, Sy, please. I fucking need you really bad right now, please. I'll do anything you want"

"All you need to do, pet, is learn your place" Syverson said, greedily caressing your ass. "Did you come here just to get that cunt used?"

"Yes" you nodded, not even remembering that in the beginning, you really did have something important to talk to him about. "Yes, I only wanted your cock. Please fuck me, I promise I'll be good forever"

"My good slut forever?" he questioned, the perverted enthusiasm audible in his tone.

As he spoke, Sy slid his middle finger inside your pussy. "Is that all you want, whore? To be my property?"

"Yeah…" 

"You want me to own you?" he taunted, sliding another finger into your pussy, just for the sake of pushing your buttons, "Want me to use your whore body for my pleasure whenever I feel like it?"

A rush of electricity coursed through you.

"That's all I want, Sy" you whispered.

"Are you sure, baby girl?" he taunted, bending down.

His immense frame hovered above your shivering body, his haunting presence enough to get you drunk on the ecstasy of what was to come. 

You swallowed thickly, pained tears stinging your eyes. Cupping his cheek over your shoulder, your words came out as a ghostly whisper, "Please-" you breathed out, "I need you now, Sy. I wanted you since I met you back home, you know that. Please, I can't wait any longer"

His daunting chuckle sent shivers all over your body. He pushed himself off of you, but his breath still tickled the back of your neck. It was enough for you to know that you were to remain in place and wait for his next move.

"Of course you can wait, angel" he said, moments before the metallic clank of his belt being unbuckled fueled your senses, "You're lucky I don't want you to"

You released a weak chuckle, shaking your head in disbelief at the way he managed to carry the situation. Your shoulders were dangerously tense as you waited. For anything. For him to say or do something, but he forced you to sit and boil in anticipation. But the build-up was worth the frustration, as when you felt his touch against your pussy, adrenaline started to pump through your veins.

"You know how long I thought about fucking you like this?" Sy asked.

It was then that you realised it wasn't his finger probing your folds, but the tip of his cock. Slick and solid against your pussy, he expertly teased all your right spots.

"You flaunt this fucking tight ass all day long, panting in the heat, sweat dripping down your tits-" Sy exclaimed, his need and hunger for you audible through every word, "and now you're telling me-"

He paused to bend down above you, hands planted on the desk on either side of your shoulders as he spoke lewdly in your ear, "And now you're telling me I got you naked and whimperin', beggin' me to empty my balls inside your pussy?"

Refusing to use your words, you settled for a better answer - the only answer your dazed mind was able to give. Arching your back as you moaned his name, you pushed your ass back, his massive cock inching inside your pussy.

Syverson grunted, low and guttural, pleasure erupting from the depths of his throat. Goosebumps arose across your body.

"Fuck me, Sy-" you cried, your voice breathy and seductive, "Rough me up, come on"

And he did. You managed to push all his buttons and get him to lose the self control he tries so hard to put on display. He did an excellent job, judging by how hard his cock was when he slammed his hips into yours. Your walls spread beyond what you ever thought would be pleasurable, yet he had you crying out his name as your eyes rolled back. 

His immense hands held your hips with damaging force, planting bruises all of your skin. Not that you had any choice, but you let yourself go limp, and allowed him to manhandle your frame to his will. With ever powerful thrusts of his body against yours, the desk underneath you rocked, slamming into the wall, making a sound loud and obnoxious enough to awake just about anyone who was sleeping there. 

But you didn't care. And neither did Sy.

The only thing you had on your mind was the killed ecstasy he fucked into you, his cock slamming balls deep into your aching pussy. You rolled your head, whined and dug your nails into your palms, in what was probably the most pathetic attempt to keep yourself grounded. 

Syverson wasn't far behind. His breathing aggravated, turned into guttural groans that made the hairs on your body stand up. 

"Fucking hell" he cursed, his fingers sinking deeper into your flesh as he picked up his pace, "FUCK"

You moaned, a wave of pleasure coursing through you, "Harder please"

Those words went against all your senses, against the pain you felt between your legs, the strain on your back or the lack of air in your lungs. But you wanted more. Needed more.

With one long, hard thrust, Sy pushed his cock all the way inside your pussy, his balls pressing against your clit, "Wouldn't wanna break you, little girl"

The teasing side of you awoke. You pushed yourself up and threw your hair back so that you could turn and look at him over your shoulder, "You couldn't if you tried"

His whole frame darkened. Not just the look in his eyes. He now seemed taller, more dangerous and menacing as your words tickled his lust. Syverson shook his head, and in one swift motion, lodged his hand in your hair pulling you all the way up with your back against his chest.

"I don't want you talking to me like that," he groaned.

If you hadn't felt his cock twitch, fear would have definitely enveloped you. 

"You're in no place to undermine me, ok?" he growled, voice deep, ringing against your ear, "You're so small and powerless. It's fucking clear I call the shots. Be a good little girl and don't piss me off" he threatened, his free hand wrapping itself around your neck.

"Or what?" you whispered. 

"You're a soldier, right?" Sy laughed, "Wouldn't it be a shame if for a few days you wouldn't be able to walk straight. Or sit down?"

You swallowed thickly, his words turning you own even more as your pussy clenched around his cock just thinking about it, "Sounds more like an offer than a punishment"

Sy took his sweet time answering. Before he opened his mouth to speak, his hand traveled down your body, all the way over to your clit, where he began to apply pressure in the form of experienced, delicate circles.

You whimpered in return and only then did he answer. "Turns out you're a bigger slut than I thought, but don't think it will take me long to have you crying and begging"

You nodded yes. He never asked any kind of question, so you had no idea why you responded that way, you just did, and Sy took it as his cue to resume his work.

This time, he held you against his body. With each thrust, the tip of his cock applied more and more pressure to your sweet and overly sensitive spots, braiding pain into the pleasure he created for you.

But it was what you wanted. How you wanted it. Because it was a matter of time until he had you moaning and crying, expressing the pure ecstasy that was surging through your body. You were approaching your high at such a dangerous speed that the strain in your back was no longer of importance, and the force with which Sy pulled at the roots of your hair, wasn't even passing the threshold of discomfort anymore.

All your thoughts had been flooded by his breathing, low and guttural, against your temple. The simple fact that his pleasure was audible in his tone, aggravated your arousal. You've never in your life been so eager to please someone. But now, you were beaming proudly, your stomach in knots.

You came soon after that. The orgasm came down crushing on you, blurring your thoughts completely. Your muscles spammed uncontrollably, and the cries that escaped your lips were sure to wake up everyone in the compound. But neither you, nor Sy cared.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" you panted, seconds before your eyes rolled back in pleasure, your body remaining weak and consumed in his hold.

"Come on, darling" Sy chuckled, readjusting his hold around your body, pressing you even harder against his chest, "Daddy's gotta finish too. Otherwise we did this for nothing"

"Yes" you moaned. 

The way he forced his cock in and out of your sensitive and overly-used cunt brought tears to your eyes. You knew he was close when he slowed down his pace, now his thrusts becoming deeper and less regulated. Each slam of his hips into yours rocked your whole frame, until your toes barely reached the ground. Sy held you up into his massive arms, guiding and handling your body to fit his needs perfectly. 

And it fucking worked because in a matter of seconds, he lost control, aggressively riding his high until there was no amount of cum to be released. When he pulled out, panting and exhausted, he moved to the side, planting his hands on the edge of the desk to catch his breath.

Determined to not piss him off anymore, you gathered yourself much faster than him, ready to dress yourself back up and bolt.

"What are you doing?" Sy asked, looking at you over his shoulder with confusion in his eyes.

"I'm- uh, I was gonna-" you mumbled, pointing to the door but he stopped you.

"Hop on" he said.

He pointed to the desk, and although unsure, you did as he told you. You barely managed to stay awake while he was in the small bathroom attached to his room, but when he returned and placed a damp washcloth between your legs, your mind buzzed awake.

"I hurt you" he said, massaging your thighs as he softly cleaned you up, "I got-"

"No, it's fine" you stopped him, "I'm just exhausted and probably very sore, god, but I'm good"

Sy just nodded, something obviously still bothering him. But he didn’t say anything, and instead, proceeded to clean you up, ending with a gentle kiss against your sensitive opening.

You hissed unconsciously, but then ended up smiling widely, amused with your own reactions. Sy helped you off the desk and guided you to his bed, his hand on your ass as you leaned into his side for support.

“It hurts, right?”

“I’m just sore, it’s fine” you tried to dismiss his concerns, but he wasn’t having it.

Sy grabbed your face into his hands and forced you to look into his eyes, “It’s gotta, darling, you understand that”

You shook your head, smiling, but he wasn’t waiting for your approval.

“Come on” he said, guiding you to lay down, “We have about 2 hours of sleep left, and god knows, you’re gonna need them”

“Fuck yes” you sighed, plopping down next to him.

Although every fiber of your body begged for closeness, you stopped yourself, afraid to not cross any lines. But, much to your surprise, Syverson didn’t waste a second before pulling you into his arms and tucking your head in the crook of his neck. It gave you a sense of security you never felt before in your life - the way his heart beat against your skin. He fell asleep with his arms fastened around your frame, tightening his hold every time you tried to move.

It was just a matter of seconds until you both drifted off. Considering your whereabouts and the circumstances you’ve lived though, it was safe to say this was probably the best night’s sleep you had gotten in months. That was why, when you were pulled awake by him getting ready around the room, you were so disappointed.

“Is it 6 already?” you mumbled, rolling over only to land face first into his pillow.

“Go back to sleep, darling,” Sy said, fastening his belt, “Got some paperwork to do. I’ll cover for you and then I’ll come back with coffee in about 2 hours or so, how’s that sound, hm?”

“Mmm” you moaned, “Perfect”

The last thing you heard was Sy chuckling at himself, and then, you fell back asleep. You had no idea how much time passed until a loud, redundant noise woke you up. It took you about a few seconds to realise what it actually was that you were hearing.

“Y/n?” a grave male voice echoed from behind the door, “You in there?”

After that, he knocked a few times more, before starting to repeatedly slam his fist into the door.

“It’s open, what the fuck-” you groaned, not even standing up from the bed.

Instantly, the door flew open, Sgm. MacGregor bursting into the room, features ablaze with pure anger.

Your face fell.

“Sergeant, I-” you tried to speak, hurrying to find a way to explain what exactly it was that you were doing naked, in a room other than yours, when in fact you should have already been on post for god knows how many hours.

“Don’t even wanna hear it” he groaned, waving towards you, “This is about Captain Syverson”

“What-?” you muttered, “What happ-”

“Shot” he said bluntly, “3 times. You need to move. Now”

[pizzaboat]

My brain came up with the pre-emtive theory that the reason–besides plot reasons–that the golden gaurd has an owl mask, besides him potentially being a clawthorne, is to possibly tie a parallel to Eda.

Okay so to list off the parallels, they're surface level so far, but they feel intentional, he has the owl mask, he's a genius teen prodigy, his brand of unique while definitely his own thing is kinda giving off eda vibes. He's also lazy much like eda as shown in the drawing of him with kikimora.

And let's not forget the "bye!!!" Thing that was done by both of them in the same episode, and early last season by eda too, proving this isn't some coincidence, it's an intentional detail that the writers want you to pay attention to.

Now, he's also different to eda. Morally, he's..Not great. He's a kid who has no problem giving gruesome deaths to people while completely blaze. He works for the emperor, and is from what I can see so far, loyal to him.

Because the golden gaurd is only sixteen, I'm putting this down to brainwashing. He's clearly desensitised to how fucked up the coven is.

Because we don't know much else about him, including his actual name. The rest of this is mere guessing and the result of too much time on my hands.

So anyway, the reason I think he's going to be a contrast to young Eda and not old Eda is that the current Eda has alot of history behind her at this point, and the message I'm trying to focus on is potential.

Young Eda was a genius teen prodigy. There's no disputing that, she was gonna graduate at sixteen(the same age as goldy bio leading the emperors coven now) this means she would've skipped two years at the max and would've been shooting straight into the emperors coven where with her brains, raw power and skill would've probably reached goldie Bois position fairly fast.

Things didn't turn out like that though for a number of reasons. One. Eda was cursed, limiting her magic use and leaving her ostracised. And two, she hates authority and denounced the coven publically at around his age. Something happend to sixteen year-old Eda for all of that brain washing that all the other kids her age were facing to be pealed back enough for her to take a leap of faith and not join a coven.

I think this might have something to do with the illegal history book she seems to own and the portal which she did have at that point as shown in one of the trailers.. she got exposed to the truth, if even just a sliver and could never turn back.

Eda's life took a drastic veer away from her peers and her own sister.

Now, about gold boi, he seems to live in the castle from what Dana's drawing implies, he orders Kikimora around so he can slack off(showing he also doesn't take the job to seriously like a hypothetical young Eda wouldn't have either). The emperor gives him special treatment from what we heard from Lilith and that is proof. If he's leading the coven, than its safe to assume that Lilith would've been killed for even daring to pull that kinda stunt.

I'm gonna assume. And this is only an assumption since I've only seen the first two episodes, but I think he was actually raised in the castle for this very job. Or for something atleast. Maybe a successor.

Natural talent snatched up at a young age and heavily brainwashed, far more than the other kids his age, (because he would be that close to the emperor/there also the chance he knows the titan thing is bulshit and is loyal to belos out of familiarity.)

Again. Speculation and guessing.

But what I'm trying to say is that young Eda and him are so similar in their feel, but there's this cold devide that separates them.

Young Eda was and is a violent, mischievous trouble maker, but I doubt she's a killer. Eda only lashed out to kill in ybos and agoaw because of extreme emotional distress she was in. Call it temporary insanity after her world had crumbled down around her.

Goldie kills because its his job. And while he does subtly warn Luz and eda to stay out of trouble for their own good (I think this implies there's a bit of good in him under all that) it's hidden under arrogance(another trait both versions of Eda have) making Luz react negatively to him.

He's also clearly terrifying to grown witchs that have to deal with him (because he sends the emperors threats and warnings and could probably fuck their shit up in a second.) Call him a messenger of death and other bad news.

I'm just gonna remind you again he's sixteen.

He's obviously his own character but he already feels like a reminder that if Eda had been born under different circumstances, if something happend along the way or if she was snatched up by the emperor like I'm guessing goldie was we'd have a more morally iffy Eda if that's even possible.

She wouldn't have had her sister to look out for and be looked after by. She wouldn't have met these mysterious friends of hers that I think played a crucial role in what she became. Idk.

This is an unstructured mess and I hope you're as confused as I am. I've suffered through this for a week. But its your problems now.

[sweetnightlullaby]

As I was watching shang-chi (which was a great and entertaining movie btw, some spoilers below) I realised how we need more female centric films, even blockbuster ones that aren't just oh a masculine lady who can kick ass.

No I mean a whole character heroine journey (the Joseph Campbell way) about maturing and finding her way and all the variations that can imply.

Give me the story through the woman's perspective, the growth, the anger, the grief, the grey morality everything male action protagonists have been praised upon and women (look at Daenerys or Wanda) have been called as *shock face* mad villains.That's some bulshit right there and a shallow understanding of a multi leveled character but because their stories are been told through male writers ( yeah I see you g.r.r martin) or through a male protagonist the male audience must identify with (and the female audience has learned to do as well), we never truly explore or bother to understand the women in films.

God how can a woman be anything more than a secondary character, a loving mother, a mad bloodthritsy man hating (most of the times abused) woman, a sexualised teenager etc.

Back to shang-chi for a sec. Imagine a film with xialing as it's main character, we never saw much behind her badass image (which was pretty satisfying I must say), to her own trauma, her own head to head meeting with her father, her own grief about her mother, her journey of leaving as a kid a traumatic life and finding her way to the top. It's just.. frustrating.

Because we have seen the father and son archetype and clash and reconciliation many many times in cimena (which is predominantly male dominated) but never the mother and daughter archetype and relationship, the clash also, the kindness and all the emotional depth. The matriarch and her heir.

There's just so much unexplored space there and so many young girls and women who are thirsty for something to identify and ponder with, to see themselves and take pride in.

I'm sorry but even tho it was a good movie and we need this representation of asian culture, it could be so much better if marvel just stopped being marvel for a sec. I rolled my eyes so many times when his father was literally abusing him but never got called on his bulshit by either him or his sister and we got a montage of them locking eyes in the end as he gave him the ten rings (like thanks dad but what about all the psychological and physical pain I endured through my childhood, guess we'll never mention it again).

A part I did like was how the siblings switched places a bit, with shang-chi taking his mother's caring role and xialing taking her father's leadership (which again would have more impact if she developed a relationship with him, negative or positive).

Okay I'm done rumbling. The summary of that is that we need more action packed blockbusters about young girls and women and their journey of finding themselves. Also more films about women in general and the portrayal of abused women, angry women, vengeful women without bias (there's been a slight shift in that), also the portrayal of queer women with loving realationships (just imagine a black widow film where Yelena and Natasha weren't sisters but friends to lovers, okay I will stop now).

Finally, this all ties back to the first ever morally grey woman I saw on tv. That's Morgana from BBC's Merlin and of course she is viewed as a villain through our main characters lenses and good vs evil philosophy but she was such an interesting character, both kind and cruel. Just imagine an ending *potential spoilers*of Merlin and Arthur fucking of in the distance to become farmers and be gay together( like please) and Morgana with a*you can't change my mind*heavily queer coded Morgause rule Camelot together with acceptance of magic and a fresh chapter in fantasy and mythology and storytelling . It isn't hard. Of course one would argue this isn't how the original tales go, but this is art, it's fiction based on the Arthurian legends and you can expand and shift them as you desire, in fact you should explore their many sides(which the green knight with dev Patel did really well).

Okay I'm done for real now!

[taleofharrison]

Perfect | Luke Hemmings

Summary: Based on Girl Crush by Little Big Town and Heather by Conan Grey

Warnings: no but challenge I reference some lyrics from the songs above here can you spot where?.

Requested: Yes by an anon.

Word Count: 1273 (I feel like I carried away a little)

A/N: I’m so proud of this one basically because I have a math exam this week and my brain said “hey you know it’ll be cool if we actually write this right now instead of studying” it was so worth it plus I still have tomorrow to catch up and on another note I’ll be super busy this Friday streaming confetti and watching the search cause I love Little Mix so surprise update today. Enjoy!

PART 2

MASTERLIST HERE

“Why do you guys think Luke got us here together for?” you asked, it was the elephant in the room neither you of the boys touched yet. “Since Luke doesn’t want to tell”

“Yeah, Luke why won’t you tell us?” Michael shrugged taking a drink from the beer in his hand

Luke had invited you to a get together since he had an important announcement to make. Though the Australian band had only met you roughly three years ago it was as though you had been with them since they moved to London that first time they left their home, it was an awesome chemistry between the five of you.

“You’ll know once it’s here” he said as the doorbell rang “and that must be her”

“Her? No…it can’t be”

“Guys this is Ashley” he said a the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen by his side “my girlfriend”

“Well yes it can be…it’s happening”

“So, it is something serious after all” Ashton teased them making the girl hide her face in Luke’s chest making him chuckle.

A few months Luke had told you all he was seeing someone though he didn’t want you to meet her just yet because he wanted to know how serious this relationship was.

“Yeah it is” he smiled pulling her closer to him a giggle escaping her lips. You rolled your eyes.

“Annoying”

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you guys” she said escaping from Luke’s arms to give hug the guys “I know how important you are in Luke’s life”

“And you must be Y/N” she said once he saw you behind the other boys and pulled you into a hug “hope we can become close friends I know it’d mean the world Luke”

“Hope so too You gave your best fake smile you didn’t understand why you hated her so much you had just met. Was your crush on Luke that serious?

“Why are you so perfect?”

She tagged along you and the boys which annoyed the hell out of you why couldn’t she hang out with Luke on another times without you guy? This was time between friends though the boys seemed to love her and, how couldn’t they? She was sweet, smart a funny. You hated her because you didn’t find a good reason to hate her.

“Are you having fun today?” Luke asked you, you were at the Santa Monica Pier a day you had planned with your friends but now Ashley was part of the group.

“Yeah ‘m fine” you shrugged “why do you ask?”

“You just seem a quieter today” he said, “Is something bothering you?”

“Your girlfriend shouldn’t be here”

“No, at all” you brushed it off when Ashley and the boys came back with snacks.

A few weeks after that and you just found yourself getting more and more frustrated at the fact that there was nothing, no reason at all to hate on her which ended up in you acting like a bitch towards her.

Why weren’t you pretty like her? Pretty enough to Luke to notice you, why didn’t you have her smile? A smile that light up the whole room, why couldn’t you have her eyes? They were beautiful and you were sure they were like shining stars even in darkest nights. She had everything…she was everything.

After countless of sleepless nights you decided to go apologize to her, jealousy was getting the best of you and if you keep this attitude you might also lose Luke as well and you weren’t risking it you had to learn to respect his relationship though seeing him with another girl would the most painful thing you’d ever have to witness.

As you walked towards them you saw Ashley wearing Luke’s sweater while she laughed in his arms you could see nothing but adoration and happiness in his eyes and tears flooded with tears.

“It’s just a fucking sweater why am I crying? I’m so stupid”

It wasn’t just a sweater is the one sweater you wore when you stayed at his place watching movies, it was the one he gave you when you forgot your jacket at home and it was freezing outside the restaurant where you and the boys had dinner to celebrate your birthday, the one he would give to you when you fell asleep when you visited the studio to keep them company or just because you wanted to be with them it used to be for you and now it was hers.

After that moment without noticing you started hanging out with Luke and as consequence Ashton, Calum and Michael were seeing less and less thing that didn’t go unnoticed by any of them, they were getting more worried and more worried about you each day.

“You have to be at this party” Michael told you over the phone “No buts no negative answer we’ve barely seen you”

You chuckled a little you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss the Australian band “Alright I’ll be there”

The moment you got into Michael’s house you saw Ashton and Calum hanging out around Michael’s DJ spot, Luke was nowhere to be seen maybe he’d get there later and the first thing you did was run to hug Ashton and Calum.

“Look who’s here I thought you were dead” Ashton joked.

You rolled your eyes at his answer hitting his shoulder playfully “Is Luke here?”

“He’s walking towards us right now” Calum said making you turn to see him walking his arm around Ashley’s hips she looked stunning.

“Y/N long time no see” Luke smiled he hugged you however you didn’t hug him back.

“I-sorry I need to get a drink”

You escaped the situation making your way to the kitchen not noticing Luke was following you.

“Can you tell what’s wrong with you?” he demanded once you were in the kitchen alone “I haven’t seen you in weeks I miss you and I come here and you just avoid me again”

“I’m not-“

“Bulshit” he interrupted “I know you and I saw you before I got there you were completely fine around Ash, Cal and Mike now tell me”

“It’s her” you said giving him a dead stare.

“Ashley?” his eyes coming together pure confusion in his voice “what has she done to you? She’s an angel!”

“Exactly!” you snapped all the emotions you had bottled up coming to the surface “She’s perfect and I hate her because I can’t find anything to hate on her, not one single flaw”

“It’s frustrating to see the guy you’re in love with next to another person who’s a thousand times better than you, someone who’s effortlessly perfect” you finished your statement with a dry laugh “maybe I just hate her because she gets to kiss you and taste your lips, she gets to be the one between your sheets, she gets to wear your sweaters. It’s pure jealousy”

“Y/N-”

“The worst part is that I feel like I’m the shittiest person in the world” you interrupted again tears in the corner of your eyes “I should be happy because you’re my best friend and you are happy…the happiest I’ve ever seen you but I’m not because I’m in love with you…I’m so pathetic”

“Y/N I’m-“

“Leave it” you smiled giving him your empty red solo cup “I shouldn’t have come tell the boys I’ll call them tomorrow. Have fun tonight”

“Y/N, no come one wait. Don’t leave like this”

But this time you didn’t look back and from now on you would be the putting yourself first. This time your heart was going to heal.

[ajapablog]

The Death of the Writer

First the question arises: were you ever a writer to begin with? The answer to that is: yes. When you made a choice at some point that a major portion of your life will be spent contemplating and stringing together words, you became a writer. But there were really only some key points in life when you were in earnest a writer: 1. When you were 18 and heartbroken and decided to write a blog post a day to soothe ourself over the course of 5 months (some weird poetry emerged out of that). 2. When you wrote your undergraduate thesis 3. When you wrote your MA thesis and 4. Last year when you spent everyday, either writing a research paper or a grant proposal. The bottom line is if you feel that there is a hole in your soul because you feel the desperate need to tell stories about yourself and the world, you are a writer. Do not kid yourself. If you do, it is YOU, in all your glory and your brokenness, that is at stake. Let them read. They’ll see you for who you are. If they get tired (which of course they will), they will fuck off. You, obviously, do not have control. Your need for control makes you play mind games with your therapist. She says you do not “resonate”. What she really means is, you are too crazy or not honest enough for her to deal with. This is, by the way, true. You try to lie and manipulate her. The only person you really open up to is a man you met on the internet. He’s massively entertained but he isn’t your therapist, he’s not even your boyfriend. He has no function but to listen and get entertained. You have no idea why you are so brutally true to him. So you turn it around and make it so that you think he’s playing mind games with you. You just wanted an audience and you found one. When the stage lights dim, everyone goes home. You need to go home too. You do not have control. At all. When you write, you will feel better. This is how it has always been. You survived “coming of age” by writing odes to your pre-pubescent body. You wrote nasty letters to ex-lovers. You wrote crafty emails to your supervisors. You make your parents laugh, every single day. You have always carried yourself on the back of words. Your words turned you into a migratory bird, you read the weather and moved. It was with words that you touched places. If asked to describe a feeling, you would use metaphors of geography to map your emotions. Like how right now, you’re thinking of the last day you ventured across the city to see your friend. You walked on the grey pavement as the wind blew away your umbrella and you tried to shield yourself from the rain but failed. You waited 20 minutes for a bus to take you and your insecurities and inferiority complexes to the university that was beyond your reach— not because you couldn’t but you wouldn’t give up the comfort of laziness. As you travelled through a city that was temporarily your home, like all cities are, you contemplated on everything you missed out on. The city plays games on your mind. You know exactly how. If asked to describe people, you would describe the texture and the smell of meals. You have words, you are fine. Bare your soul, to your self. Who else is more beautiful than that slightly greying mad woman bent over the pond raptured by her own reflection? Who else is there, any way?

So let us for our purposes of writing everyday, create a fictitious audience. Let’s say this is just one person drawn from all kinds of pieces of your self: idealized, mocked, discarded, affirmed. This person is also the hundreds of people you have encountered, because, after all, as you like to say “every encounter is shaped by thousands of encounters that came before.” Let us call this person — because it is only fitting that the person’s initials mirror yours—A. A is a mildly amused, mildly skeptical, mildly cynical, but in truth a wildly optimistic adult human. A is an encounter. A likes word play, likes high art, is derisive of anything not intelligent. A is scared of dying from Coronavirus. A is also critical of run of the mill liberals but is themself a liberal. A believes in the dictum “everything contains within itself, it’s opposite.” They throw that dictum on new lovers to enamor them. A likes John Gray, Slavoj Zizek and Nicholas Taleb. A reads everything under the sun and watches all kinds of videos on YouTube.  A believes in social security, welfare and Marxism as well. They will never tell you that they love Marx because they have never read a masterpiece like the footnotes to Das Capital. A is critical of neoliberalism and insists that if you must be a feminist, be one from the radical variety: liberal feminists are misogynists in women’s disguise: this is their joke. A enjoys some high theory once in a while, looks down on laziness and does not appreciate whining. A is indifferent to passion but is highly passionate themselves. In other words, they appreciate passion but only in themselves. A believes in the protocols of social interaction. So you must stick to them. A also believes in a Palaeolithic diet and makes arguments against sugar consumption on the logic that produced by slave labour, sugar fuelled the industrial revolution and its consumption is therefore as great a threat to human existence as fossil fuels, namely coal and by extension world travel. A thinks that the connection they built between sugar and coal (based on their contemporaneity) and the end of the world because of peak oil and of instagram travel blogs a smart one not because it is really not smart (because oil prices are down the dumps right now) but because they know you are stupid enough to think that it is smart. This is how A functions, by testing you, by assuming you are not smart unless you buy into their bullshit. After all, A spent years acquiring an expensive degree that says they majored in Bulshitting 101 with high honors in manipulative argumentation through selective data. You sometimes exploit the cluelessness that A exhibits. You are constantly playing games with A, hoping every single time that you do not lose. This makes A abusive but massively entertaining. A wants to know about your mother and your father. They want to know about your friends and the man you met last week, the lovers you dumped so that they can try and make sense of it all. But really, they are highly impatient. They really don’t care. Your world is a movie with characters in it. They want to consume you like a Netflix series and move on to the next. 

[whippedkoalas]

Noah is grieving. He lost his mother, who has never been a caring mom and will never be and he needs to let that hope of a sudden change of heart go.

Noah was left alone after his mother's death. The funerals happened into his own house. He locked himself in his room, with music covering the noise. Neither his brother nor his dad cared enough to be there for him this day.

His dad is totally MIA, he probably sends money every month and thinks that it's enough to qualify for best dad of the year.

His brother is a fucking creep. While Noah doesn't trust him at all, and doesn't get along with him to the point of 1. Being rude to the only girl who cares about him to get her away from him and 2. Sleeping at Gijs' when he's in town, I'm not sure he knows exactly what's Morris is capable of. Morris hugs Noah after his mom's funerals, when he wasn't there the day before and acted like it didn't matter when Liv said sorry just a minute before. I think it shows well how Morris knows how to play with his little brother.

Noah is impulsive and possibly has some anger issues (that might be related to the vulnerable state he's in now or related to the way he was raised, but that's another whole essay lol)

Noah doesn't really know where Liv stands either, but even taking his relationship with Liv out of the question, I wonder how could Noah have the mental and emotional capacity right now to question whatever bulshit Morris will come up with and realize that something isn't adding up. He would need amazing emotional coping skills to immediately think there's something else.

In a scenario where Morris can tell Noah first, and therefore where Noah would register the story as potential cheating (even though he doesn't believe him) and nothing else, I would be very surprised if he's emotionally able to get it immediately. 🤷‍♀️

[welcometoyournewhell]

Cheer Up, Shit Hair

A/N: Platonic Bakugou and Kirishima. 

Kirishima has been depressed all day and his best friend decides to help the only way he knows how too. 

___

Bakugou was worried. Sure, he’d never admit that, but he hadn’t seen Kirishima all day. He didn’t show up for breakfast or lunch, he didn’t come to any of his classes, and he wasn’t answering texts or calls. Something was wrong. 

“Ass hole, you in there?” He banged on the door, eyes narrowed. It was almost dinner time. The door opened slowly to reveal darkness and the familiar scent of sweat. Was Kirishima ill? Perhaps he’d just been working out all day?

“Oh, hey Bakugou.” The door opened more to reveal a rather deflated Kirishima. His red hair feel normally to his shoulders, bits of black root showing through. The blonde looked over him. T-shirt, shorts, socks. He wasn’t sick. “Are you ill?” The other shook his head. 

“Uh, no. Whoa!” The door was pushed from him as the hot head let himself in. Shutting the door, Kirishima walked over and sat on the edge of his bed. It was like facing a parent. The blonde stood with his arms crossed, scowling at the other. “Then what’s your excuse for missing classes and not answering your phone?” 

His phone? The hardener looked to his head board before retrieving the item. Three calls, six texts. Whoops. “Sorry man, I guess I wasn’t paying attention.” He offered a small smile but was met with a sigh. “So what’s bothering you?” He sat beside the other as he pulled out his note books and began to check through to make sure he grabbed all the right ones. 

“Camp is not that important.” Bulshit. “It’s not so much of the camp. I failed the test, even with extra hours of studying. My folks called me and.... I just.... I’m never going to live up to Red Riot. I’m going to be an embarrassment to Crimson Riot. I should have picked a different name.”

Bakugou sighed. “No, your just a shitty test taker. Dumb ass.... it doesn’t matter what you know from the books. It matters how you act in a time of crisis.” The other looked up a bit, frown still present. “Dude, I just.... I just need to be alone for a while.”

The blonde sighed. He tried being nice, but if his best friend wasn’t going to stop being depressed over something so “childish”, he’d have to move to drastic measures. “Your acting like a child, Eijiro. Stop moping.” The red head opened his mouth to protest but just shrugged. He looked away as he moved back to lay down. 

Wow, Bakugou had never seen him so depressed. “Your acting like Deku over All Might. I never understood why someone as great as you would want to be second under some.... guy.” He wouldn’t insult the hero. He knew his best friend had too deep of a respect for Crimson Riot. “Because I’m not that great. Like All Might to Deku, he made everything just seem better man. I don’t know how to explain this.”

The other closed his eyes, listening as Bakugou placed the books in order with his own. “It’s an admiration, not a crush.” Kitishima snorted. “Dude, he’s like a dad. That’s so gross.” Bakugou rolled his eyes. “Yeah, not sure what happened to that nerds dad. He wasn’t really talkative from what I remember. Hardly noticed he was present.”

Kirishima brought his arms under his head as he hummed. “Yeah, he never really talks about him.” The blonde looked over with a frown. “Well.... you never talk about yours either. Do you hate them or something?” He thought back to Todoroki’s words. Was Kirishima bred for greatness as well? Was he a product of a quirk marriage?

“It’s.... complicated man. I don’t want to talk about it.” The blonde frowned as he sat back down. He’d met Bakugou’s parents a few times. They actually really hit it off! His mom wanted Kirishima to come around more often. But the way he acted with them, it was like they were part of his family. 

That might sound creepy but... the more the hot head thought, the more he realized. Kirishima treats all his friends like family. They are his family. “You shouldn’t let shit like this get to you. You could make so much use of your emotion in training.” It was the best Katsuki could do. 

He wasn’t really good at comforting. “I know, I tried. But... I just kind of laid on the floor for a while.” Kiihima sighed. “It’s getting late, you should get something to eat before-- eep! H-Hhehey!” Red eyes shot open as gentle tweaks and touches found thinly clothed ribs. “W-Whahahit! N-No, nohoho tickling! Katsuki!” 

The other smirked a bit. “Maybe you should start training now? See if you can harden when I run my fingers over every square inch of your body. Sounds like a blast to you, doesn’t it?” It was no secret the red head liked tickling. He used to tickle Bakugou a lot, before dropping the most obvious hints that he was touch starved. 

His best friend complied and soon.... found it pretty addictive. Would he every tickle someone else? Hell no, well. Maybe? It all depended on the situation. But just freely tickling his best friend to cheer him up, or win a video game, or get him to shut up? Yeah, he was okay with that. “Dhahaon’t tease me!” 

He was too weak to the other, but he wasn’t trying to fight back. Maybe it was the need for laughter, or his depression keeping him still, but he didn’t move too much. “Your not very squirmy. Maybe I’m doing this wrong?” Oh shit! No, no, no! Fingers found his underarms, making him scream with hiccupy, gaspy laughter. His arms flew out from behind his head, only to be pinned close to where they were. 

“Oh no you don’t. Sorry shit hair, but your not moping while I’m here. Now suck it up and take your cheering up like a man!” The other blushed a bit. How could someone so rock hard.... with such an explosive personality be so dorky? “Bhahahkugou! Thahaht’s too much! S-Sthahahaop! I’ll ghahaho to dinner, jahahust stop it!” 

He shirked as lips found his neck. With his arms free and quickly curled up.... into the other being. “B-Bro that’s ticklish! Stop i-- not theheh feet!” When he curled up he brought his legs higher. This left a gateway for a quicker cheer up as the blonde’s stomach was growling. “Let’s go shit hair, laugh it up!” Bakugou tried to yell over the hysterical laughter. 

He stopped when a pillow made contact with his face. A low growl escaped his lips, making the other start to curl up once more, giggling in anticipation. “I’m sorry, please don’t tickle me!” The hot head rolled his eyes a bit. “You act like you hate it, but will place my hands on you for tickles. Explain that to me, dumb ass.” 

Kirishima blushed at the comment. His friend wasn’t wrong. “I’m soerious though, I’ll go eat. Just... please stop.” Bakugou was a bit taken back. “Did I hurt you?” The red head shook his head. “No... you just went too hard on my kill spots.” Another pillow. “And started with my kill spots!” 

His dorky smile came back as the blonde blushed. “W-Whatever! I was fucking hungry and I had to cheer up your dumb ass first! So yeah, I may have speed up the process!” Fingers found the other’s sides, earning soft giggles and kicking legs. 

“It just means I’ll have to start over after dinner.” Ah.... shit. Honestly, Kirishima did’t mind. He could use the laughter anyway. It was fun kind of having his own tickle monster, especially when it was his best friend. “R-Rhahahse you to dinner?” A challenge the other couldn’t resist. Bakugou smiled a bit. “Your on.” 

[igotmysteriousmessages]

Can I request the RFA+Minor Trio reacting when they find out that MC is actually still in highschool (17-15 y.o.) but only finding out at the party

Hi there!!

I mustadmit I debated quite a lot whether to take or not this request. It’s quite a lot outmy comfort zone but  since I believe noneof them would take advantage of their MC after discovering this I decided Ishould give this a try… thought I must admit I felt quite uncomfortablewriting most of this because I’m around the age of the characters and duringthe days prior to the party they tell the MC things I would be scared/disgustedto know were told to a high school girl by someone my age.

They are ofcourse all platonic or a little romantic but always considering it as a futureoption.

Also Iwrote as they founding out about MC when they meet her on their respectiveroute (except for Vanderwood of course, for him I assumed something similar toSaeyoung’s but with more involvement of Vanderwood) rather that at the partysince the only ones that don’t meet her before the party are Yoosung andJaehee.

(Btw…if youplayed Dandelion you might get some Jieun’s route vibes because I love whatcheritz did there)

RFA+Vanderwood discover MC is still in High School

Yoosung

-Probablythe less surprised one.

-Also thesmallest age gap…4-5 years are a lot when you are on your early 20’s but not somuch when older.

-Still ablushy mess… he quickly remembers a few things he told you both in the chatroomand through phone calls that definitely weren’t ok. He apologizes a lot.

-Afterembarrassment dies out he doesn’t know how to talk to you…on one hand if hestarts treating you any different you may feel offended but on the other hecan’t keep treating you like you were his age.

-He is veryconflicted about his feelings for you so you two talk it out and decide to keepit at just friends at least for a few years.

-He ispretty ok with that settlement actually; it allows you to develop a long slowdeep thrusting relationship that you both know would eventually become romanticbut there is no rush for it… you guys are fine with things are they are.

Zen

-the exactopposite from Yoosung….Zen freaks out big time.

-He feelslike the worst human being in the world; how could he shamelessly flirt likethat with a young girl?

-He can’teven look at you into the eye.

-Big bro!zen mode: Activated

-He drivesaway every single guy that tries to get close to you, regardless if they areyour age or not. That includes himself…you’ll never catch him standing lessthan ½ meter away from you.

-During theyears to come he remains a fellow RFA and a good confident in case you arehaving problems…especially family problems. He makes sure you know that if youfind yourself in the need to run away like he had at your age his doors areopen.

-Also youmay want to be extra careful about being seen with him because you knowpaparazzi can be merciless and they may misinterpretate your relationship withZen.

Jaehee

-Sheseriously can’t believe her eyes. The girl that helped her pull her life togetheris just that, a girl.

-Since herroute is non-romantic she has less weight over her shoulders but she feels badfor burdening you with her problems.

-She stilloffers you to be business partner but she states she’ll take over till you tofinish your studies (both high school and college if you decide to do so) alsoif you want a part time job she needs the help.

-Also BigSis! Mode, she becomes the best adviser/role model/ confident/ emotionalsupport you can dream on. You know she is always there for you and that it’sinfinitely comforting.

-If yourrelationship evolves into something less platonic it won’t be till you are25-ish or something like that and even so she would be very doubtful.

Jumin

-Now it’swhen things get complicated….

-give him aglass of wine…scratch that give him a bottle.

-He wasn’texactly flirty with you in the chatroom but he knows he treated you like youwere his age, maybe a little younger but definitely not 11-13 years younger… hefeels awful.

-He mayhave pushed out his life entirely if it wasn’t for the situation you two metin.

-It waslate when you showed up at his house (it wasn’t Jaehee’s fault she didn’t knoweither) and it was way too dangerous to send you back to the apartment…he couldsend you home… wait a second…you’ve been staying at the apartment for days, doyour parents even know what you’ve been up to? Have you been missing school? Whyin the world did you follow Unknown in the first place?

-theinterrogation lasts what feels like ages. When he finally calms down you are a little annoyed and he apologizes forbeing so harsh but as the situation is so dangerous he offers you a room forthe night and to take you home in the morning.

-He remainsvery protective of you on the years to come but he ends up deciding that whathe felt for you at the beginning wasn’t love. He just cares for you as a fellowRFA member.

-Heprobably won’t question those feelings again till you are 26-27 y/o. and evenif he does it would be very difficult for him.

Saeyoung

-He is amess, like more than usual.

-He feelsawful that such a young girl gets involved in all the problem with Mint Eye.

-Hisprotective instinct kick in.

-It’s alsopainful…you are about the same age Saeran was on those photos he has…too youngto be going through so much pain.

-He pushesyou away with even more decision than in his route, you should be happy leadingthe normal life of a school girl, not worrying about the him and the mess ofhis life…also when he comes around and decides to put his faith in you he feelseven guiltier to burden you with his life story and to rely that way in theperson he should be protecting.

-Aftereverything gets resolved he distances himself a little, I mean he’d always beavailable to answer your calls and help with any problem you may have (anything…from“I had a fight with my friend and I need somebody to listen” to “Can you hackmy school’s system to make pass sports class?” and even “I argued with myparents and ran away, can I stay with you?”) but otherwise you wouldn’t see himmuch.

-Same asfor Yoosung, the age gap isn’t huge so I can see having no problems falling inlove with you after you reach adulthood and he puts his life in order.

Jihyun

-What thefuck did Rika do this time?

-The firsttime he sees you talking with Ray at Mint Eye he can’t believe his eyes…I meanhe is barely able to see but he is sure you are High school student, definitelyyou have nothing to be doing at that place.

-He feelseven guiltier than he is in his route. You are far too young to be involved withMint Eye let alone comforting him and helping him solve his problems.

-Tbhbesides that I don’t see much difference with his route because with all theshit going on there is not much flirting on his side on his route, if somethingis usually MC who shows affection to V.

-If the MCshows any romantic feelings for him he’d kindly remind them that he is too oldfor them but of course he’d be so sweet about it that you’d barely feelrejected.

-Same asfor Jumin, it’d take a lot of years for him to develop romantic feelings foryou

Saeran

-In allhonesty the first thing he felt upon seeing you in person was pity.

-You arearound the same age he was when he had been brought to mint eye, so young andinnocent and full of hope in this cruel world  –insert more Mint Eye bulshit here-

-As Ray hetreats you as a fragile princess and pampers you big time.

-AsDark!Saeran he is even crueler because he sees himself in you; the way in whichyou claim Ray will come back and how you refuse to give up on him reminds himtoo much of how he used to claim his brother would come rescue him.

-once heregains control over himself he can’t believe how someone so young can be sostrong… he is also very ashamed of the way he treated you both as Ray andSaeran.

-He’d bevery doubtful of how to treat you on the first few days after escaping mint eyebut in the end I don’t see the age being a huge problem for him… he’d be reallyrespectful of both you as a person and of your age, also if you show romanticfeelings for him he’d be pretty clear that you are too young and he is toounstable for a relationship yet.

-But the bond formed during the time you spendin mint eye is strong; with time he starts understanding his feelings, you bothmature more and I can see him still falling for you a few years later.

Vanderwood

-What thefuck did 707 do this time?

-Like thesituation wasn’t bad enough; that “harmless” fundraising association of Seventurned out to be a bigger mess than their agency, his partner’s long lostbrother came back to destroy him and everybody associated to him and of top ofthat they have work to do if they didn’t want the agency to dispose of them. Hehad so many worries in the meantime, so when he met the RFA’s newest member? Itwas just too much.

-He took alook at you, lit a cigarette, took 2 deep breaths and then turned the cigaretteoff because he was in front of a minor.

-He takes itup to him to keep you safe from the crazy situation you are in.

-He talksto you about how dangerous is to take orders from an stranger in your phone, heteaches you self-defense techniques and is around you all time till the problemwith Mint eye gets solved.

-He won’tbe patircularly nice to you and his presence is always rather intimidating buthe does his best to not scare you more than you already are.

-He’d alsocontact your parents and school to give them a believable excuse of yourdisappearance so to no light up any alarms.

-If Zen andJaehee become your older siblings this man goes a step further, his yourofficial new dad.

[softestkabru]

I want a statemwnt tbh. I wanna see what these fuckers have to say for themselves bc that was cruel and awful and so OBVIOUSLY didn't need to be written that way??? What is the thought process besides just ??? Telling gay fans to shove it?

I don't hate mikexeleven it has it's issues 4 real (*cough* romanticizes codependency *cough*). I really don't hate it tho. Im the #1 sucker bitch for "childhood love at first sight" bulshit. I am not immune. However It's not abt that. Like!!! my god, why bother writing Will as OBVIOUSLY queer and in PAIN as he is over his emotions for Mike WITHOUT GIVING IT A POINT?? Why? It's not queerbaiting (yet. If they claim he was straight the whole time or some shit, then that's queerbait i think?) but it sucks just as bad if not worse??? I don't know why they didn't let Will retain his strength and confidence in himself after all this time? Like, even if he knows Mike won't reciporicate, a confident and truthful confession would have even sufficed! Let him embrace himself!!! He's so strong and we see that over and over again but this time it was just like watching him get kicked and him taking it. I don't know WHY the duffers would write this besides to tell queer fans of the show to get fucked??? Lost, confused, disappointed in those fuckers

[synnematic]

DAY 3: Letters to A Loved One

for @saboace-week

TWO PARTS:

Letters to No One ( written by me ) multiple chapters

a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955610/chapters/32125773

A Couple Years Too Late ( written by @reiji--san ) single chapter

a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955889

Summary: 

A collection of letters written over time with no set destination, but always a person in mind.

Letters to No One

Dear Sabo,

This is stupid.

Makinos got this idea in her head that I’m sad. Which I’m not. Im not sad anymore at all. I’m not. Its just hard. Youre not  When you died FUCK. Whatever. fuck spelling and whatnot too. not like you can read this anymore anyway. look. this is suposed to help i guess. a coping mechi mechen method. i write this letter and she stops naging at me. whatever it takes to make them all stop loking at me like im going to snap any second or try to run off again. not like i would anyway.

i know youre not coming back.

you’re dead

you left and you died and theres nothin i can do to turn back time or bring you back or get revenge becus the people that killed you are already GONE and i didnt even know until it was already to late

but im fine

im fine

im not fine

luffy is well hes been better but hes always been a crybaby so he’ll get better. im supposed to be strong now, stronger but i dont really  i don’t know how to handle the emotions and whatnot. not like you did. you always seemed to just GET it always sayin the right things, calmin me us him down. i can’t do that but im trying. im getting better i think.

we’ll get thrugh it

fuck this is stupid

what’s the point in writing a letter youl never read? or writing at all damn it

you taght me how to do this bulshit but i never thought id have to use it like this

fuck im not supposed to cry. messed up the ink now. not that it matters but still i wanted to fuck i dont know what i wanted anymore

sorry

im sorry sabo. i should have been i dunno. something. its different without you. too quiet and theres this pain in my chest all the time. like i’m the one that got shot. don’t get it but i hate it and it hurts and i just i wish you were here. i really wish you were here

i miss you

    ace

sabo,

hey i uhh found the other letter. never ended up giving it to makino but i think she knew i wrote it at least. luffy did but i don’t know what he did with his. i kept mine in the tree house, under one of the loose boards. its a little water damaged but i don’t think you really care huh?

this is still weird, talking to you like this. even though its not really a talk if its only one way. just like talking to an empty room but not even talking out loud

sorry

its been two years now to the day. maybe thats why i ended up finding the old letter in the first place. havent really been to the tree house much since then anyway because

well you know

went to the cliff tho. the one we used to sit at? i went there first yknow when i got youre letter. took me a while since im still not great at reading. getting better tho. it was quiet. always kinda is but really quiet this time with just a little wind. I think it would be a good day to go sailing. was it like this when you left too? dogma said it was a nice day but i dont really remember it that way.

i dont know why i do this to myself. same as last time i always get   i dunno. my chest still hurts. theres a doctor in foosha i went to once a while ago. thought maybe something was wrong with me. he said it was heart break. youd think this is something id get over but i guess not

youre still dead and im still breaking

i dont know when its gonna stop

if it does at all

    ace

sabo,

Is it nice where you are?

Overheard some people talking about it today. Talking about death and what comes after. It sounds nice. Heaven. If thats where you went. I think it should be. Where you went, that is, but nice too I guess.

It sounds warm.

I wonder sometimes if my mom went there too. Still dont really know much about her but she sounded nice. Maybe youve met? Is my d   Nah it doesn’t matter. I hope its nice there. I dont really beleive in that kinda stuff normaly, still kinda dont but i hope its true and youre happy there. Happier than you were here

I know its probably a stupid thing to ask but do you think ill ever be able to join you there?

The waves were choppy at the cliff today. Almost angry. Theres a storm comin but i think ill still go there later. Maybe

Ive been thinking about death a lot lately

    ace

Hey

I didn’t jump, obviously, since i’m writing to you now. Again. Sorry for the silence. Sometimes I just— I dont know. Everything rushes to my head all at once. It helps, occasionally, but then there are the times where my head fills with one singular drive or emotion and thats it, that’s all I can focus on. It used to be anger. So much anger. That was easier than the sadness though. Or the guilt.

There’s things I haven’t really told you. A lot of things actually. I was trying to be strong I guess. Still am. But Makino was right about one thing. It does help, these letters. I like to think sometimes that you just know. That you can read them or that my words somehow magically transfer to you. Wherever you are. But I know that kinda stuff doesnt happen. Not really. So this is more me talking to myself then. That I can do.

So for starters I guess, I had a dream about you last night. I used to have dreams about you a lot. Nightmares too. It’s been a while though, at least a few months since the last one. Normally the dreams are the same, extended memories or something small but usually just the two of us, sometimes luffy. Last night you turned to me in my dream but your face wasn’t right. And I think that’s more terrifying than any of the nightmares i’ve had.

I’m starting to forget what you look like, what you sound like.

It’s been six years now. Longer than the time I knew you. All I have left is the flag Luffy and I found in the wreckage of your ship. I tried to look for more but most of it’s been buried now and i’m afraid. I don’t know what Id do if I found your bones there.

We never took any pictures, never saved enough for something as meaningless as a camera and i regret that now.

I think i’m going to get a tattoo soon. Before I leave the island. Even if I forget what you look like and the sound of your laugh I still want to take you with me somehow. So you can sail the seas instead of — well.

I just don’t want to forget you sabo

    Ace

Me again,

I got that tattoo that I said I would in my last letter. It’s been a while now but it still itches every once in a while. Hah, you should have seen the guys face when I explained what I wanted done. People still keep mistaking it for a mispelling. As if I didn’t know how to spell my own name.

Anyway, got that done a little before I left Dawn and a lot has happened since then. I have my own crew! And a devil fruit too, though man was that a surprise. Still don’t really have the best of control over it and I set random things on fire sometimes but I think I’m starting to get the hang of it. I’m a CAPTAIN now! Got my own flag and everything. We’re the Spade pirates. Isn’t that cool? The Ace of Spades is supposed to be a card that symbolizes death but I don’t think we’re so bad. Hell, we’ve actually helped a lot of people so I hope you’re proud of me. Still wish you could have been my navigator but we probably would have ended up fighting all the time huh? Can’t have two people that want to be captain in the same crew obviously. You would have loved this life though.

I know you’re probably in a pretty nice place yourself right now but the open sea on a clear day is the most beautiful thing. And the STARS Sabo — when the sun sets down low you don’t even need the moon to see, the stars are so bright. Brighter than they ever were on the island.

You’re up there somewhere huh?

Is the view better than the one I’ve got right now?

Seven years is a long time my friend. I’ve grown a lot since I last saw you. Do you grow at all where you are? I bet I’d still be taller than you.

Wish you were here

    Ace

Hey Sabo

I think I need some advice right about now.

It’s been 103 days since Whitebeard defeated me and took me onto his flagship. Yeah, uhh, probably should have updated you on that sooner, huh? My bad. My crew was defeated not that long after I was too. We’re all here now but we’re fine I promise. Actually, that’s kinda my problem.

I want No, I wanted to kill him at first. Whitebeard. All this time hearing about my dad and all he accomplished in life, all he did. So many people that respected or hated him and I just — I don’t know. I heard that Whitebeard was around and I figured if I could just be the one to take him down, the one to kill him even when Roger couldn’t then maybe — Maybe I could prove myself. Prove that I’m stronger than him, than Roger. That I’m better somehow. Or at least different.

Not that that really worked out.

Could have killed me but instead he took me here and made this stupid speech about family and trust and wanting me to be his son or something and I told him no. Obviously. I don’t need a family after all, or at least more family. I’ve got Luffy. And you. Plus I wasn’t  I’m not about to just throw away my own ambitions yknow? I promised you, I PROMISED you that we’d go out to sea and live free lives, the life of pirates. I don’t want that to end, not when I wanted to take you with me on that journey, the life you never got to live.

So I kept fighting and fighting and fighting over and over again, new tactics, new plans. But Sabo I’m so tired now.

So tired.

And they’re really starting to grow on me. As much as I’ve tried to avoid the crew or even piss them off. There’s this one guy, Thatch, in particular that is just too god damn nice ALL THE TIME. And Marco too though he’s kinda stuck up. And they keep talking about family. About belonging and — I don’t know.

Is it bad that a part of me wants that? To have an actual home? To belong?

They don’t know though, not yet at least. They don’t know who I am and maybe — FUCK I don’t know. I don’t know how they’d react to knowing who I am, what I am. I’m scared to find out. But is it worth trying?

Would you hate me if I gave up a part of my freedom for something more?

I feel like I’m betraying you somehow. But at the same time I think you would want me to be happy too.

I don’t know yet for sure but maybe, maybe this is my one chance.

    Ace

He KILLED him.

One of the few genuine friends I have and he’s dead. All because of GREED. Why does this keep happening. Every time I grow attached and start to feel safe something like this happens again just to prove how messed up the world really is. Over a stupid FRUIT and now thatch is dead and— fuck. A member of my own division too. My responsibility and I failed again. Just like I failed you.

I can’t protect ANYONE. Even after all the training and the fighting, the missions and responsibilities. But when it actually matters I’m not even there and my friend gets stabbed in the back and left to DIE.

The blood’s on my hands. I should have known. Should have picked up on the signs and done something — anything . But I was too late. Again. And now he’s gone and that TRAITOR is who knows where.

Well not this time.

This isn’t going to be like what happened with you, with an enemy I never knew and had no chance of finding.

This time I’m going to find him and I’m going to make him pay.

I don’t care if I’m cursed. Maybe I brought this on them in the first place, just by being here. But I’m not going to just sit by and let this happen again. I couldn’t take revenge for you but I can for Thatch.

I can at least do that.

Sabo,

I’m getting close.

I know you probably don’t care, but writing to you like this is the only thing that seems to be keeping me sane recently. It’s like I’m chasing a damn shadow. Every time I get close or feel like I’ve finally caught up the bastard does something to out maneuver me or fuck me up somehow. It’s been months now but this time I think I’ve finally cornered him. Teach is apparently on his way to Water 7 now and there’s a little island, Banaro, that he’s sure to stop at. If I can get there before he leaves then I can finally avenge Thatch. I can make up for my own failures and make sure that he never hurts anyone from my family again.

I dunno how it’s going to go yet but he hasn’t had much time to master his new fruit yet so I should have the upper hand regardless of whatever that rat has planned.

Short letter this time, I know, but I don’t really have a lotta time to waste right now. I’ll be reaching port soon and from there — well, who knows. Guess I’ll probably update you again afterwards though, or whenever I get back to the rest of my crew.

It’s nice to know that I’ll finally be able to avenge someone important to me. Risky, but I know you’d do the same.

    Ace

Sabo,

I’m being executed today.

Guess that’s a solid way to start off my last  this letter, huh? Yeah, nice going Ace, well done. I really know how to keep things upbeat in these damn things don’t I?

Damn it.

Teach, well he, FUCK— sorry.

I don’t want to do this.

He beat me. I don’t have any excuses, nothin I can say to make up for what happened or explain it in anyway. He just did. Just another reason to hate him I guess, but if the alternative was joining him then this is better. Much better, Still, uhh, it hasn’t exactly been fun. Impel Down was just about as bad as I expected, maybe worse even. There’s— you know what, it doesn’t matter what it was like. You don’t need to know that.

Maybe I’m just stalling now.

They don’t really give a lot of time for these things apparently, even when they’re last requests. Bullshit, but I think they just don’t want me to be late for my closeup. Gol D. Roger’s only son means I’m about to broadcasted all around the world. Thanks dad. Great perks. Though, I expected as much. Just proving what I always feared.

ANYWAY, at least I’ve had a lot of time to think lately. Don’t actually know how long I was locked up in there but the silence does things to people, to me. I didn’t dream much while I was there, kinda hard to sleep, but I thought about you a lot. Actually, been thinkin about you a lot for a while but this was different I suppose.

The guys down there like to talk a lot. It helps pass the time but most of them are kinda shit people so I didn’t reply much. Still listened though.

Y’know, in twenty years, I’ve done a lot, seen a lot, experienced a lot— more than most my age, but there’s a lot I didn’t get to do too, didn’t learn about.

I never really thought about love until recently. It’s not really a pirate thing, huh? High seas and all that nonsense but life moves fast and a lot happens all at once. Not a lotta time to sit around and, I dunno, dream?

Whatever. Well, the guys down there talked a surprising amount about it, like it’s something magical, better than any other treasure, and it got me thinkin. I’ve never really cared about that stuff, haven’t since I was a kid. But I guess that’s because I figured no one would be able to stand me for long, no one would actually accept me for who I am. But, that’s not really right, huh? Since you did that right from the start. I’ve known that for ages but guess it didn’t really sink in until now.

Call it childish innocence or whatever, but you accepted me even back then when I was broody and angry and maybe a little murderous. You knew who I was, my history, my dreams, and you didn’t laugh or run away or anything like that. You smiled that stupid smile of yours and just accepted me, all of me.

Here I am about to— about to leave , and it’s because there’s a whole fucking WORLD out there that can’t seem to do the same thing a five year old noble brat could — no offense.

And y’know, if that’s the closest I get to love then I’ll take it. Hell, maybe I even love you too. Actually, no. I don’t think maybe is even a factor anymore. Seems stupid now that I think about it, but I probably loved you even back then. From the very start. Little late to be figuring that out now, huh?

They’re rushing me. Marine bastards.

I know I’ve talked a lot about, well, death. So many years spent just thinkin that I deserve it, just because of who my father was, but now that there’s this whole messed up world agreeing with me, is it wrong that I’m— fuck — I’m scared Sabo. Absolutely terrified and there’s nothing I can do about it. All these years I’ve practically asked for it and now—

I know it’s late to start saying this, way too late now, but Sabo, I want to live.

I want to do so much with my life than this. I want to explore more, see more. I want— I want what I can’t have anymore. And it sucks. It really fucking sucks, but this is how it ends for me. Goin out the same way my shitty pops did. Apparently. What a sick joke this all is.

But I'm running out of time now. Guess I’ve spent what time I had. Garp knows what to do with this after... after everything. I know it won't matter in the end, but I think all of these should be together, y'know? Just in case. It's nice to know that he still considered me family, even now. He's the only one here that seems to actually care. You would think these assholes would cut me a little slack now that we’re here but I just… I don’t think it matters to them that I'm about to die. Not even a little bit. Shouldn’t hurt, but it does. I’m still human after all. Just like them. But maybe they don’t see it like that.

I’d pray for miracles but I don’t think there are any gods out there to help me. I still don’t think there are any gods at all. Doesn't really bode well for what comes after, huh?

Luffy’s going to be mad at me. I promised him that I wouldn’t die.

Maybe we can both watch over him though? You’ll probably be mad at me for saying this but a part of me is a little relieved. At the end. At least I’ll get to see you again, right? I don’t even know if we’ll both end up in the same place, but I can hope. I really, really hope. It’s selfish but I’m glad that I won’t be alone. I don’t want to be alone anymore.

    Ace

A Couple Years Too Late

Dear Ace,

         It’s been a while, has it not? I’m sorry, but man do I have some things to tell you.

If only I could tell you.

I got your letters. Well, more like I found your letters. Stored away in a box at our old tree house. Can you believe it’s still intact after all these years? Pretty good for a couple of kids huh?

.

.

.

Dear Ace,

         I’m sorry. I can’t believe I stopped so soon. Not even a couple sentences in and I had to leave the room. What an idiot. Let me start again.

Hey Ace. How are you? Are you eating well? Getting enough rest? You have to make sure to take care of yourself, I’m not there to nag at you anymore now. You’re all grown up. I sound like such a parent I’m sorry. I just care and want the best for you. I got your letters. I’m sorry the delivery took so long. Way too long. It’s a shame this is how we reunite. I hoped I could have seen you at least once before

.

.

.

Dear Ace,

          I did it again. At this rate I’ll clean out Headquarter’s paper supply. I’m sorry. It’s just, every time I write, my vision gets blurry and I can’t see anymore. How can I properly reply to you if I don’t know what I’m writing? Would be embarrassing if I had a bunch of spelling mistakes especially since I’m the one that taught you how to write.

Speaking of which, you’ve gotten a lot better! I can see from the different letters you wrote. It makes me happy to see that, shows you practiced a lot. Did you help Luffy too? I only taught him so much before I left, I’m sorry. It must’ve been hard on you.

It must have been really hard on you…

I’m sorry. I keep speaking nonsense. I just don’t know where to begin, what to say. This is the third time I’m trying to write to you and you are right—it’s pretty stupid. Maybe a part of me is just hoping that the same thing will happen with you. That you’ll get this letter in 10 years or so and then maybe we could meet again, somewhere in this wide ocean.

Or maybe somewhere in skies up above.

I can dream, right?

.

.

.

Hey Ace, Is this how you felt? When you wrote every one of those letters, did it hurt this badly each time? I’m sorry, I should’ve come to get them sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t even be writing this right now if I had. Maybe you wouldn’t have had to write them if I had come sooner. I’m sorry. I really made it hard for you huh? I’m happy you wrote though. It feels as if you are here, talking to me. Telling me of your struggles, your adventures. All the good and the bad—even though I already knew some of this. I’m happy for you Ace. Truly I am. I wish I could’ve been there when you sailed out to sea, we could’ve sailed out together. Met your first crew, that I wouldn’t be a part of because I would have had a better crew.

When you found a family .

I’ll have to visit them one day, and properly thank them. It’s the least I can do.

Hey, remember the declarations we made back at the cliff? I still haven’t done mine, been busy, it’ll probably take a while. Still, you did yours did you not? You let the whole world know who you were. Fire Fist Ace, that’s a pretty cool name they gave you. You were always the better big brother so I’m not surprised you beat me to it. Mine’s a little bit harder so cut me some slack okay?

Weird how the past couple days I struggled to write and now it’s all just pouring out, I’m sorry it’s such a mess of words. I still don’t know what to really say. My vision is still blurry but I’m fighting through it. I’m sorry the paper may be a little wet.

…I’m sorry.

Twelve times. Twelve times I’ve said those two words but nothing changes, nothing will change. I’ve come to that conclusion. Took me a while.

A long while.

It’s been two years or so since you left. Every night I have the same dream. And every time you’re always out of reach. Every single night I wonder “Would things have been different if I was there?” People kept telling me there’s no right answer to that.

Would you be alive right now if I had remembered just a little sooner?

Ah that’s right. I haven’t told you. I didn’t think it would matter if you knew since it wouldn't change anything, I’m sorry. Thirteen. I lost my memories. Pretty shitty thing for me to do right? I know. While you were suffering I didn’t even know you were a part of my life. While you died, I paid no mind because I didn’t know. You must be really mad at me. For forgetting so easily.

And then life rewards me my memories when I see your death mention in the papers. That’s pretty fucked up huh? Maybe I should’ve looked at the papers sooner.

Hey Ace, do you know now? Is it pretty up there where you are? Have you met your mom? She’s up there too right? I’m sure she is. If there is a Heaven I know you’re there. Regardless of what people say, what they may have called you, Heaven is where you belong. The image of an angel truly suits you, you know. Maybe you always were an angel, and god sent you down to me. Can I let you in on a little secret? Thanks to you, I was able to become who I am today. If I hadn’t met you that day you pulled me out of the Grey Terminal I probably would’ve been back in that castle, suffering. You changed my life for the better and I’m eternally grateful. And seeing as you brought it up first; I love you too. Always did. Even during my amnesiac years, I’m sure that part of me was still there. Loving you even if it didn’t remember you. Sad that we’re sharing such things now huh? It’s almost laughable. Yet not even a smile comes to my face right now… What am I saying? I’m sorry, I ramble a lot.

Fourteen.

It’s been almost two years since then Ace and the pain just gets worse. Does it ever go away? Did it ever go away for you? It’s like a nail is constantly being hammered into my chest. Some days they slam the hammer harder than others. Some days they slam it so hard I can barely breathe… I can cover it up better than before at least, can function in my daily life. Oh yeah—I’m a Revolutionary, have I told you that yet?

Do you think if this world was different, you would still be alive? I wonder.

Are these letters really supposed to help? The only thing it’s helping with is making the pain worse. Will you even read this? Maybe if I send it flying high enough, will it reach you? Or maybe you're watching me right now as I write it? If you are then well…

I miss you.

God I miss you so much.

It’s not fair. Why did you have to be the one to leave? My first friend, best friend, my partner, my brother, my… There are so many things I want to share with you. I want to see you again. See you smiling, laughing, angry—I just want to see you. Even if it’s just one more time.

Would it have been better if I had died that day? Would I be with you right now? I’ve had that thought so many times. And maybe I tried to join you…so many times.

But I’ve thought a lot. Luffy is still out there is he not? I can’t just leave our little brother like that. I’ve already fucked up enough as it is. Even if he hates me, pushes me away and never wants to see me again—I’ll protect him. I asked you to take care of him before, now it’s my turn.

By the way, I’ll be visiting you soon—no, not like that. Sadly. I’ve avoided doing it for a while because I didn’t want to believe it but I think it’s time now.

I’m sorry…that I can’t be with you, not yet. But you aren’t alone. I may not be next to you, but I’m always thinking of you. Every waking moment and every time I close my eyes. You’re there.

Fifteen.

We’ll meet again soon. There are just some things I have to take care of here first. It may sound a little selfish but please wait for me okay? Just a little longer.

         Sabo

[simkjrs]

why does anyone think mukuro rokudo is anything remotely resembling cool

mukuro is a dumbass and the indisputable proof is right there in mukuro’s introduction arc

1. looks like a dumbass?

this is the very first picture of mukuro you get to see. some dumbass with badly parted hair and a fucking camo long-sleeve on under his fancy collared coat. how does  someone have a sense of fashion this bad and this tacky? it��s unbelievable. he’s only 15. he’s 15 and he’s dressing himself like this. someone help him 

you don’t find this out until later but he’s wearing a school uniform

he stole a school uniform, gyakuran and all, and put a non-school-compliant camo long-sleeve shirt on under it. for the aesthetic. for his really specifically ugly aesthetic. i physically can’t describe the visceral emotion this inspires in me. just look at him. would you be able to take him seriously if he tried to kill you? he could walk up to me and say “i’m going to take your life” and i’d just be like “haha yeah okay, is that what you were thinking when you were parting your hair this morning” and then i would laugh and he would skewer me in half with his pitchfork. 

2. an incredibly bad actor, unbelievably so

mukuro wants to possess tsuna or something and has the brilliant idea to waltz up to tsuna in the middle of a creepy forest by an abandoned amusement park, pretending he’s one of the poor innocent victims of that terrible criminal mukuro rokudo, while smiling and being friendly and not acting the least bit like a cowed or angry victim at all. he spends the entire time being creepy. he tells tsuna that he’s been taken advantage of by that horrible, awful mukuro, but his overwhelmingly creepy vibe completely negates any sympathy that story might have inspired in tsuna and instead prompts tsuna to think “this guy is really creepy!” and leave. 

like look at this screenshot from when mukuro is trying to “subtly” ask tsuna what he knows about mukuro:

important takeaways: 

mukuro can’t even keep up the charade for a full two minutes. he just doesn’t have the patience! he’s a terrible actor!!! 

mukuro is an impulsive, straightforwardly violent person who is only capable of posturing and rudimentary mind games as long as he doesn't get impatient with them

mukuro is a mist flame user whose ENTIRE GIG is being able to USE ILLUSIONS but he can’t even cover up his own weird eye. is it because it never occurred to him to do so? did he forget? did he know his eye would be noticeable, but he thought it would be cool so he elected to ignore common sense & subterfuge in favor of another brief intimidation tactic that doesn’t do anything to tsuna except make him think mukuro is weirder than ever?? DID HE JUST  THINK HE WOULD LOOK COOLER AS HE IS??? 

mukuro’s a DUMBASS and a DISASTER and he doesn’t know how to interact with anyone  else in any capacity at all, either as a spy, or as a friend / non-suspicious stranger, or as an enemy who could have USED THIS ENTIRE OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE TSUNA THE FUCK OUT 

mukuro: i’m going to possess the next heir to the vongola...  and destroy the mafia... NOTHING matters more to me than tearing down the ugly, sinful world in which we crawl...!!!! also mukuro: [corners heir to the vongola, alone in a forest where no one would notice them, and proceeds to do nothing except be exceedingly weird for absolutely no reason tsuna would notice or even care to comprehend] 

he’s so dumb it makes me cry 

3. important reminder

at this point in the story mukuro and his gang have been living in kokuyo park and eating garbage for like the past three weeks. he has NO right to be looking as good, self-assured, groomed, or confident as he does. AND YET HERE HE IS, shining in his full magnificent bastardly glory. something that would shame or embarrass anyone else rolls off mukuro like water rolls off of wax. he’s just absolutely immune to self-consciousness and i think that’s incredible. 

4. impractically dramatic

mukuro sets up his final confrontation with tsuna in a large, abandoned, empty room in one of the abandoned theme park buildings. that is, it’s empty except for the large, ornate throne that mukuro has set up and seated himself on so that he’s dramatically hidden in the shadows when tsuna enters the room. he had to set that all up himself. who puts that much time and effort into their presentation to their enemy, but not to actually defeating their enemy??? mukuro, that’s who.

5. laughably inept at his own professed expertise, manipulation and controlling others

tsuna enters the scene of the final confrontation, still thinking that mukuro is just that weird creepy kid he met in the woods and not... you  know.... mukuro himself.... and mukuro gives away the same in about ten seconds. he just couldn’t resist the impulse to crow about his masterful deception in tsuna’s face and revel in tsuna’s shock... at the fact... that he was mukuro all along!!

this has almost no impact on tsuna beyond “oh no, the guy is creepy AND also the guy i have to defeat.” if mukuro had put more work and buildup into the facade, but ohhh nooo, mukuro “i crave instant gratification and i want it NOW” rokudo has to have the payoff immediately. what did you even accomplish with this deception, you dumbass? you idiot. you fool 

6. the posturing

mukuro is an overeager fifteen year old who is murderous and violent but also wants to be incredibly cool. look at his face when someone asks him “what do you think people even are, you asshole?!” 

he looks so fucking pleased with himself for delivering this line, like it’s one of the slyest and cleverest things he’s ever said. he’s so proud of himself for flaunting how immoral, horrifying, and terrible he is in front of everyone’s faces. fear him... this is SO funny, especially in light of how horrible he is at manipulating others. mukuro you’re doing great

5. doesn’t fucking know what a flame is

mukuro: my incredible fighting prowess comes from this purple flame i can summon sometimes...!!! also mukuro: [has no fucking clue what the flame is, only that it makes him fight good and thats the important part, obviously]

he’s been through like, at least 2 entire mafia families, and has possibly killed more. the sheer power of mukuro’s ignorance to the existence of dying will flames is astoundingly powerful, and enough to knock out lesser men at close ranges

 6. can’t resist the impulse to give away all his cards so he can gloat over his enemies

you know the part where he pretends to shoot himself in the head but actually possesses one of tsuna’s friends? and then proceeds to give away his possession almost IMMEDIATELY by a) not changing his mannerisms in the slightest and behaving exactly like himself, b) attacking tsuna (and not even right! he misses! he was too impatient to actually wait for a good opportunity?????) c) just straight-up telling tsuna what he did

how does anyone take him seriously beyond the fact that he can fight good. he’s so dumb i cry every time i think about all the stupid shit he does. he’s a baby

7. this isn’t really evidence of mukuro being a dumbass, but i do want everyone to know, that mukuro’s persona is so aggravatingly conceited that he changed tsuna’s motivation from “i want to stop mukuro from hurting my friends” to “i  want to beat in mukuro’s entire face because he’s a fucking asshole” and i think that’s incredible

8. impractically dramatic

i already put this one down but it bears repeating because of the scene where mukuro is possessing ~6 bodies, and tsuna is knocked prone on the ground completely unmoving. tsuna has an ENTIRE conversation with reborn and mukuro doesn’t do anything except stand to the side with his 6 possessed super-fighter bodies and watch. what are you doing you fool

like i can't even comprehend what's going on in mukuro's head the only thing i can think is that he's impulsive and he LOVES entertainment so he can't help but do stupid shit like this as long as it's for the sake of more drama. if it adds drama he has to let it happen. 

this entire battle is just mukuro’s dramatics? he's spent so much time posturing and the only reason anyone is going to pay attention to the stupid shit he says is because occasionally he actually follows up on it and does terrible awful things. otherwise no one would care. mukuro needs actual friends and people who care about him, which he's going to make difficult because he physically can't stand not having control over someone else

categories of people, according to mukuro: 

enemies 

under his control

???

which means if you have a situation like this:

someone: i like you as a friend mukuro:  mukuro: mukuro: i have to possess them now

exhibit a: lancia. mukuro is so fucking bad at people it’s hilarious

9. has no sense of shame but an acute sense of embarrassment so he’ll do anything in pursuit of his goals but as soon as you remotely insinuate it doesn’t look cool he has to kill you

exhibit a: mukuro does this thing where he very dramatically stabs out his eye, and when removes his fingers somehow the eye is still there except it’s bleeding now and looks very cool. then he monologues to tsuna about his powerup for a while. tsuna... doesn’t give a single shit. the resulting dynamic looks a little bit like this:

mukuro: postures tsuna: you're a disappointment to me mukuro: mukuro, internally panicking:

mukuro is working very hard to look cool and intimidating right now! tsuna thinks he’s an idiot. out of all the things mukuro has to be stressed out about right now, i.e. being chased by deadly mafia enforcers, it really says something that it’s someone else thinking he looks stupid that makes him sweat. it’s hilarious is what it is. 

tsuna: [no longer affected by mukuro's bulshit] mukuro: s...shit... [continues to issue bullshit, except harder and more than before. also he's more stressed]

or as @micronecro so succinctly put it:

tsuna can perceive the extent of mukuro’s bullshit, which leads to some absolutely incredible moments, such as this:

mukuro: im going to kill you. im going to clown you tsuna: makes this face

i love that within 10 minutes of battle tsuna has divined mukuro’s exact nature and is no longer fazed by any of mukuro’s bullshit, and really can’t do anything except be completely fed up with it at this point. just go home mukuro. just stop while you’re still ahead. it’s okay. 

naturally it wouldn’t be mukuro if he didn’t follow his series of ill-advised decisions all the way to the very end, issuing bullshit the whole way. but  that’s  why we love him; for his endless potential and comedic entertainment

ANOTHER VERY GOOD MOMENT:

tsuna: [punches him once] mukuro:

mukuro: [feeling helpless, and thus resorting wholly to dramatics] kill me tsuna: [walking away] don't draw me into your bullshit, actually mukuro: [IMMEDIATELY SEIZES THE OPPORTUNITY TO ATTACK TSUNA] YOU FOOL, THIS WAS MY PLAN THE WHOLE TIME

mukuro is so shameless he’ll do literally anything to get the drop on his enemy but he can’t even do it well. he’s trying. he’s really bad at it. i don’t know why anyone would ever think  that mukuro is cool. 

in conclusion: i think mukuro possiby has no sense of shame, only embarrassment, so if someone pointed out the fact that this entire sequence of events is INCREDIBLY funny exclusively because of the ridiculousness of mukuro’s decisions it would go like this

tsuna: it was kind of embarrassing to witness actually mukuro: mukuro: mukuro: Die

tl;dr mukuro is a dumb baby who should not be allowed to live by himself. that concludes my ted talk. thanks for coming

[moxle]

💏 calso (again)

25. …as a ‘yes’.

dated: maybe a few years after they start dating.

he feels as if he’s rehearsed his question over and over again. so much so that it’s practically ingrained in his brain at this point. but even so, he felt his nerves get the best of him whenever he thought about how he was going to deliver it. he remembers stressing out to haejin abut how he was going to ask her, considering the fact that he had already given the question to him and gotten a good response. surely he could be able to do it again if he was able to propose to haejin, right?

so why is he stressing so much about it?

he knows he doesn’t have to do something big. just spending time with anais was enough to have her satisfied. but cal felt as if anais deserved more than what he’s given her. after all these years of being with her and getting to know all about her through the relationship, he felt as if anais deserved more than that. so he makes sure to set out a plan to make this night perfect for her.

after walking through the village and visiting all the businesses like they did whilst they were studying at bokseong, their last destination would be the pool of the universe, probably one of the most prettiest places ever that cal could think of. he remembers the nights in which the three of them would go there for both dates or just to relax in the company of each other. it feels a little weird without haejin’s company, but that wasn’t the main point of tonight.

tonight was about anais. and it makes cal more nervous than anything

.he could always count on anais to know him like the back of her hand because before he could say anything, she immediately points out his... anxiety. "are you okay, calcifer?” she asks. “you look like you’ve had something on your mind the whole night.

the girl couldn’t have been any more right and he clears his throat when he realizes it’s time. he couldn’t pretend or let this hold out anymore. the both of them were at the right place, anyway. it’s about time that he asks her.... and hope for the best.

“annie, there’s something i’ve been meaning to tell you.” he says honestly. he clears his throat as he looks down at her concerned eyes. his hands reach for hers to hold them as he looks at her. it’s at this moment where he realizes that he is set on his decision. there was definitely no turnign back at this point. sure, there was a possibility in which she might reject him. but if he didn’t go through with it, then this whole entire night that was meant to be a lead up would be for nothing. all the times he’s looked at anais in the past, whether it be her in joy, frustration or in peace, and thought about a future with all of that would be for nothing.

the possible chance of having it set in their hearts that they would be together forever... would be for nothing.

“we’ve been together for a while now,” he starts. “and even before we started dating, you’ve always been on my mind. i’m sure you’re already aware of that.” there’s a goofy little smile that plays on his lips when he says that and it does its magic by getting the girl to smile back at him with fondness. “and whenever i’m not thinking about you in the moment, as you are now, i’m always thinking about you being in my life. like in the past... and in the future.”

he lets go of her hands and tries to search for the expensive box that he remembers putting in his pocket, only to realize that it wasn’t where he last put it. his eyes widen as he has the realization and he feels his heart drop to his stomach as he frantically moves his hands around his outfit.

“ah, sorry,” he apologizes, interrupting his overall speech. “this was supposed to be the part where i-”

“calicfer, finish it,” she urges. he looks up at her and there’s an excited smile on her lips. fuck. he’s making her expect it already. she definitely knows that he was planning on proposing.... that being said, it’s obvious that he’s lost the ring now. so why does she want him to continue with the lack of a band?

“right, right,” he continues on, trying his best to pretend that everything’s fine and he wasn’t panicking over the fact that he can’t give anais the proper proposal she deserves. it’s the declaration of love that matters in the end, right?

“anais, i’ve been thinking a lot about us. like… i’ve been thinking about the three of us a lot. i talked to jinnie about it, too and he actually… gave me some advice about how to tell you, so here i am.” he feels like he’s going with what he’s prepared, but also bulshitting along the way. this is all because he lost the box. but he still has to give it his all and let every single word get out of his mouth because he needs her to know. “and i’m always so happy around you, so it means the world knowing that you’re happy with me, too. so.. why not spend some more happy memories together? but make it… official?”

cal expects the big smile on her face after he finally lets out his words, but he doesn’t expect the girl to reach into her purse to pull out a very familiar looking box. so familiar in fact that it exactly resembles the one that cal had thought he had lost. he gasps.

she giggles. “calcifer, you’ve made it obvious that you were going to propose to me tonight,” she responds.

“what?!” cal pouts. “but i thought i did better from haejin’s proposal. he told me i was being obvious about mine, too.”

she sighs and shakes her head as she closes the distance between her and him. “as if you wouldn’t be stuck in your head over this,” she says, making the other blush in response to her words. she opens up the box to reveal an expensive, yet beautiful diamond ring. cal remembered passing by the jewelry store and thinking that it looked absolutely stunning. the fact that she was showing off his gift for her to him felt as if it could also be his… and to be honest, he wouldn’t have minded that.

“i love you, cal. you, haejin—hell, the whole country is probably aware of how much i’m grateful to have you in my life.” she reaches her hand to squeeze his left cheek, a.k.a the softest one dubbed by her and their boyfriend. “you’re my safespace. my sunshine but also my home. and i love spending every second with you. so you know i can’t say no to spending even more.”

“that being said.” cal finds himself smile when he sees the girl giggling before she can even finish her words. “calcifer, will you make me the happiest girl in the world and be my safespace forever?”

without even a thought, cal dips down and cups the other girl’s face before pulling her into a happy, yet passionate kiss to solidify his decision. now that he thinks back to the times where he stressed about asking this question to the girl, he finds the fear silly. he feels her lips curve into a smile before she kisses him again with the same emotion and he feels his heart go light. her was feeling relieved, yet the butterflies at the same time. it was a sweet feeling and he knows that this isn’t the first time he’s felt this around anais.

and it definitely won’t be the last.

[gamesofmuggles]

“it’s the world that’s awful” - Sandor Clegane

Prompt #9

Request : 1 “How long have you been standing there?” & 57 “Do you ever stop smiling?”

“For god sake, you fucking piece of shit, if I’ll found you I’ll cut your balls of”

You scream at the top of your lungs and shot in a bucket of water  “Bastard”. You turn to face a massive man, hair shoulder length hiding half of his face.  “How long have you been standing here?” “Enough to heard all the curses of Westeros” “Want to heard more?” “No thank you, good night lads” He grab his horse by and jumped on it “Wait, wait,Where are you going?” “Somewhere”  “Me too”  you said biting your lips hoping he would take you for a few miles, “I’ll payed you” you add quickly before he turn you off. “How much” he asked interested.  You throw some of your gold to him, after a quick look, he offer you his hands and pulled you on his horse.  “Where are you from?” you asked after 2 minutes of long silence. You hated silence. “Kings shitty landing” “I’m from Duskendale”  “Hm, hm” he said probably not listening a words you said.  “Why are you leaving?” “I’ll throw you of this horse if you keep talking that much” “Alright”

After a few hours, you didn’t saw any villages around, just fields, and forest. “Let’s settle here” “You’re the boss” “Make the fire, I’ll go catch us something” He pulled of a knife long as your leg from his pants and leave you. The dinner was quiet, at the light of fire, his scars was more visible but it didn’t scares you, who was intact in this world? He catch your look on him and turn so you couldn’t watch him.  “I wasn’t looking at your...” “Right fuck off” “I swear, I have scars myself, uglier than you.” “Shut up I said”  “Dont you dare talk to me like that” “What? What you gonna’ do?” he said standing up, next to you he was so tall, you stand to face him and try to make you more taller than you are. “Hm, I..” You couldn’t found the perfect words, a little bit intimated.  “That’s right, now let’s go to fucking bed I want to leave early”

Couple of days goes on, the journey was quiet and you didn’t liked that at all, sometimes you start singing low because you though it may annoyed him. “I like this one” Surprised you sing a little bit louder, and you swear you saw him smile a little. “Can I ride a little?” “Right, and I’m going to hold your by the waist behind?”  “Well I’m tired of being here, can we take a break my legs hurt” “Woman...” You stoped at a nice spot with a little river at the border of a forest, away from the road. “I’m going to wash myself, could you..” you sign him to turn around which he did. You took the heavy pants you had on and the few layers of shirt, you tied up one on your chest just in case. The water was frozen, you wouldn’t take long.  “Guys look at this” You turn to two soldiers at the border of the forest, you straighten up, you glanced at your clothe if the little knife in it, and try to think if you could run to it before they catch you. But they approached you.  “You need help cleaned up?”  “No thanks” you said, trying to be brave enough.  “It wasn’t a question” laughed one of them, they were Lannister’s soldier, the lion on their chest smiling at you.  You decided to run to your pants “HELP” you screamed while fighting yourself with the water around your size. “Shut up bitch” Once on the grass again, you search through the pile of clothes but one solder caught you really quick grabbing both of your hands to hold them behind your back, your face agains the ground. “HELP” you tried one more time, where the fuck was he? “shut THE FUCK UP”  the second one knocked you on the face.  “You couldn’t kill me even if you tried” Your almost body naked got smashed on the grass by the soldier, you closed your eyes waiting for the sword to hit but instead the decapitead head of the solider faces you. 

“Clegane we’re sorry, we didn’t you were with here, we....” The Lannister soldier was dead before the end of the sentence, Clegane looking at curiously. He help you out and put a blanked on you. “I’m taking a piss and you succeed to get yourself almost killed?.” “Thank you” He grab your coat on the ground and put it on your shoulder, you only notice you were shacking to death. « Wait, how did they know your name? »  He spit in the grass, cleaning his sword « I used to work for the Lannister » « What? » you didn’t saw that coming « Yes, fuck off » « Ey, I wasn’t the one working for them, for joffrey!’ you said with disgust « Fuck the King , that’s what you want to heard? now get dressed for god sake» You smiled to yourself, and collect your clothes, you drop the coat to put them one. Clegane pretended to looked away, and you saw it wasn’t your all body in particular that interested him but the long and ugly scar on your belly. You covered it quickly, not willing to talk for once.  « Let’s go »  « Wait » you heard a sound behind the trees, and decide to see what you though it was. « Fucking woman, come back here » You followed the sounds, and found two horses hold to a tree, probably the soldier’s.  « Lucky day » You untied the two of them. And jump on one. When you appear with your loot he smiled « I thought we could sold the second one » «You’re a smart one»

You found a nice spot under the stars few hours later, the horses sold, money and food for a long time. « Cheers » you raised your coked goat. « To the King » Clegane said and you smiled widely at him. « Stop smiling » You smiled even more. « Do you ever stop smiling? » « It’s a good day, you should enjoy it » « You almost got killed » « I’ve been through much more » He glance to your belly, chew his goat and with hesitation ask what every person saying it ask : « What happened? » « Oh now we can talked? » « Nevermind » he said his angry grumpy face back on again. « Jealous ex-husband, who decided that for punishment, my baby shouldn’t belong with me, so he decide to..” you pause to found a word that didn’t bring that much memory, but you didn’t it was your truth “he cut my belly to get the baby out of me. My baby.” Clegane didn’t move a fingers, waiting for you to finish your story. « I almost died, and I probably wished to »

“I’m honest, it’s the world that awful, I did awful thing. But, you, you! didn’t deserved to die” « I’ll probably never have a baby again but that’s what”s man are for, taking everything we have » « That’s bulshit, you’re young, clever, strong.. » He stoped in his sentence, and clear his throat “You get the idea” he mumble « I’m hideous, the moment a man would undress me he would run away the second after he saw that» « Nonsense, you’re fucking pretty » You laughed a little, of course it was not a thing that would bothered him. « You’re pretty too Clegane you know » « Fucking hell, shut up » « Want me to sing you to sleep? » you say with sass He stand up « this is the last time I’m talking to you » You sight still smiling. « Male ego » you mumble to yourself.

Laying on your blanket, Clegane was watching the fire turn off. « My brother burned my face » he said suddenly “that’s why I’m..” « Sounds like a dick » you reply and you heard his laugh for the first time. « I’ll be coming for him one day, I’ll » You noded « Sounds fair » you gently caress his scars, he watch you do it. « Goodnight » He turn sundenly the other way, his back facing you. You never feeled connected to someone before, so sneaking to him, you put a hand on his back, waiting for a reaction. He didn’t move, you hold your breathe and put your head too. You closed your eyes feeling more safe than ever. He move suddenly and you were ready to back off but he finally put his blanket on top of you two.  “I’m glad I’m with you” you mumble to him. He turn around to face you “Are you going to be emotional and shit right now?” “Alright, I’ll never ever, EVER talk to you ag...” He kissed you on the lips to shut your mouth. “Shut up I said” You blushed from your toes to your face, a shiver down your spin.  “Well I guess I can get used to that”