#just that directionless anger

[shalpilot]

.

[even-disco-baby]

DOLORES DEI — “I don’t *understand* you, Harry. You aren’t dying, you’re just sad. Why is everything an apocalypse to you? People don’t die of sadness! I’m… I’m not trying to kill you, Harry…” Her holy gaze falls to her feet. “I never wanted to hurt you at all.”

DRAMA — She speaks the truth, sire. All she ever did was love you.

RHETORIC — No. Don’t let her control the narrative. She’s *wrong.* People die of sadness every day. Sadness the likes of which she has never and will never know. Tell her about the body on the boardwalk, his mouth full of chewing gum to mask the smell of disappointment. Tell her about René’s angry little heart full of barbs and spines that repelled all but one man. Tell her about Cuno’s father, wasting away and leaving nothing but a specter that will dog his son’s footsteps forever. Tell her about Ruby. Tell her about the Bad Day.

“I never wanted to hurt you, either. I just wanted you to understand *my* hurt.”

“Just because you can’t imagine something doesn’t mean that it isn’t real.”

DOLORES DEI — “But that’s not true, is it?” Her beautiful eyes are full of pain. “You *did* want to hurt me. You wanted me to be sad, too. And then you wanted me to leave you and prove that you were right about everything. About me, about life…”

She sighs, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “Well, you got what you wanted. I’m gone and I’m never coming back. Are you happy? Does it feel *good* to be right?”

INLAND EMPIRE — Nothing will ever feel good or right again. You have made certain of that.

RHETORIC — It feels better than the constant dread of being abandoned. It feels like vindication.

“I never wanted to hurt you, either. I just wanted you to understand *my* hurt.”

“Just because you can’t imagine something doesn’t mean that it isn’t real.”

DOLORES DEI — “This again!” She pinches the bridge of her nose, and the gesture makes her look strangely more human. “What do you want me to say? ‘I’m sorry for not being born poor?’ ‘I’m sorry for not being an alcoholic?’ ‘I’m sorry I don’t want to die?’ I’m not going to ruin my life just to understand where you’re coming from, Harry!”

And then, her expression softens. Like light passing through stained glass. “You’re not well, Harry. You don’t need to die. You just need help.”

EMPATHY — She genuinely wants you to be better. And she believes that you can be.

RHETORIC — But she fails to understand the difference between you two. Poverty, addiction, the pain wracking your bodymind… She can leave these realities behind. Go back home to her parents, start a new life on another isola and be a new person. And so she did, and so she is. But you? It’s too late for you. It was too late from the moment you were born, in the death throes of the revolution. It was her people that killed it.

VOLITION — Is any of that her fault? Is it wrong for her to save herself from you, just because you can’t? You can be sad and angry at this wedge the world drove between you, but why did you have to misplace that anger? You took it out on her just because you could. You made it impossible for her to stand by you without getting stabbed in the back. You even became a cop so you could take it out on other people, too. Stop this, Harry. No more cruelty.

“There is no helping me. The world isn’t built to help people like me. I realized that in Martinaise. None of us can just *leave.*”

“Fuck you. You don’t know what I need.”

“I want to get better. Would you love me again if I got better?”

DOLORES DEI — She smiles, and it’s tinged with pity. “Oh, Harry… You are what you are. I’ve already forgiven you for that. And you may not forgive me, but I am what I am.” She closes her eyes, head bowing just slightly, almost like a prayer. “But we cannot *be* together anymore. Don’t you see that? There is nothing good left that can come of it. It would just be… more of this.”

Her Innocence Dolores Dei opens her eyes and looks around her— at this strange set you have constructed to act out a million different conversations that all end the same way. “I can’t live in your nightmares, Harry. And neither can you.”

VOLITION — You don’t have to anymore. Let her go, Harry.

“See you tomorrow.”

“Goodbye, Dora.”

DOLORES DEI — She smiles that pitying smile again. It’s not going to be that simple. “See you around, Harry.”

INLAND EMPIRE — You can try to rid yourself of this place, this feeling… But it will come back to you eventually. What you build at low tide will be swallowed up again someday.

VOLITION — And then you’ll build it again. As long as you live. You can do it.

[calamity-unlocked]

Oh yeah, the anchors all have their respective colors! Fear/Loneliness is red, love is blue...

Directionless theorizing, but here's hoping that anger is green and is connected to the Oak fam

[secretmellowblog]

After years of thinking about him, my attitude towards Javert is this: Is Javert a good person? No!

But does he redeem himself and become a good person? Also no!

However he IS very pathetic. Just a horrible self-destructive hideous friendless cube-shaped whiskered Creature. And that counts for a lot.

[infizero]

[beeapocalypse]

think the most interesting contender to get tossed in a cliché ass time loop (lasting from the start of the first dream to day 3 midnight) would be karin. faced with smth so blatantly STRANGE and being unable to deny it while also being the sole person to be experiencing it even among the rest of the fucked up stuff going on

[girlscience]

i like to say that i am over everything i was taught as a child and other times i realize i have been having periodic breakdowns about sexual dimorphism since i was 10 and whatever caused that is very much still alive and well in the recesses of my mind

[racemeyibo]

.

[otaku553]

How would you say Tage and canon Sabo's personality differ?

I think the main point they differ on is that canon sabo knows who he is even after his amnesia, because the revolutionary army gave him so much motivation and direction, whereas tage doesn’t have a supportive community or any direction to point his anger and trauma at after waking up without his memories so he becomes a lot more directionless.

I think the reason why sabo looks like a noble in canon despite a very pronounced dislike for nobles is that he uses his history as a noble to propel his motivations as a revolutionary. I think dragon would have told sabo from meeting him before that Sabo was a noble, and from that, canon Sabo regained that strong hatred against the nobles and willingness to fight against them. Tage has none of that. Since he’s been along for so long, he fights primarily for his survival, and so he focuses a bit more than canon sabo on appearance and deception. He’s more cynical of the whole world as opposed to just nobles, and is more willing to fight anybody who crosses him specifically.

I don’t think they’re very different on the surface— canon sabo and Tage both do things independently and at their own pace and have the capacity to go absolutely feral but present a demeanor of calm confidence and strength to the people around them.

[lizilla]

Ugh

[zeroeightzeroone]

lover of mine - bang chan

genre: angst, hurt/comfort

pairings: idol!bang chan x female reader

warnings: none

notes: if this looks familiar, it was originally posted to my secondary blog @zerothreetwentyfive so i'm republishing everything here on my main blog.

wc ~3k|moodboard

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:

"i'll never give you away, 'cause i've already made that mistake,

if my name never fell off your lips again, i know it'd be such a shame.

when i take a look at my life, and all of my crimes, you're the only thing that I think I got right."

lover of mine - 5 seconds of summer

you always thought that the next time chan would be making you cry would be at your wedding ceremony.

initially, you would try to hold in your tears, just enough so that you weren't full-on sobbing and ruining your makeup. eventually failing as the tears flow freely listening to the man tell you the moment he fell in love with you, the moment he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you and the promises he vows to keep forever. chan's eyes would never leave yours as you exchanged vows; in that moment, only you and chan existed, the proclamation and celebration of your love were the only things that mattered.

instead, here you are crying over chan. sitting in the driver's seat of your car, sobbing over the man who once said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, now not wanting to fight for that future anymore.

…

"you're doing it again."

the sound of your best friend's voice snaps you out of your thoughts, attention now on the girl sitting across from you, "huh?"

she reaches over and places her hand on yours with a sympathetic smile on her face. no words are needed from her to make you realize what you were doing whilst zoning out; fiddling around with your ring finger. a habit you picked up after chan proposed, and a habit that hadn't changed even without the band on your finger; your fingers instinctively moving to spin and twist a non-existent ring.

"right," you clear your throat awkwardly.

your hands slipping out from under hers, sliding them under your thighs hoping that maybe sitting on your hands would work against the habit.

"how are you?"

the word 'lost' feels like an understatement. the word couldn't encapsulate even a quarter of your feelings.

you felt directionless, overwhelmed by the constant switch between emotions: anger, frustration, sadness, and denial, it left you exhausted. day by day, you only grew more emotionally drained, the desire to feel nothing only intensifying.

the mere thought of the dimpled man gave you whiplash, your heart and your head conflicting with each other and your feelings pulling you from one end to the other. you couldn't pinpoint exactly how you felt about him.

god, you wished that you didn't even think about him.

you wished that you weren't plagued by the thought of him at every waking moment. everything reminded you of him, everything brought you back to the memory of how easy it was for him to let you, the person he proclaimed to want to spend the rest of his life with, to watch them walk out the door, to just give up without a fight.

why couldn't it have been easy for you too? why couldn't you just let him go the way he did you? forget him like he meant absolutely nothing?

as much as you wished it was, you knew it wouldn't be easy to move on from chan.

your early adulthood started with chan, moving in with him almost a year and a half after you started dating. he became a part of your routine and you became part of his; there was a time when your day didn't feel complete without hearing a goodnight from him or getting that goodnight kiss. your lives were intertwined, and your future plans were intertwined.

you believed chan was your future. he made you believe that you would write the next chapters of your lives together, that you two would be side by side on the road to forever. you envisioned your future with chan, without him you've hit a crossroads, struggling to navigate where to go from here. you were scared.

scared to learn what the future holds for you, scared to take a step towards a future without him.

on top of all that came public attention.

the news about your breakup hadn't been confirmed by chan or jyp entertainment. regardless that didn't stop the speculations and rumours that came with the lack of seeing you and chan in public together, seeing you without your ring, and other proofs fans would dig up. the algorithm also working against you as whenever you refreshed social media, the first couple of posts would be news articles, headlines and what have you, discussing the speculations.

'did stray kids' bang chan and his long term girlfriend call it quits?'

'fans of stray kids speculate bang chan and his partner have called off the engagement'

'netizens react to alleged proofs that bang chan and long term girlfriend have split up'

'breaking: did stray kids' bang chan and girlfriend split up? here's why fans are wondering about the status of the long-term couple'

your comments were flooded with questions regarding the rumours, mourning fans hoping that they were baseless and haters congratulating you on setting the man free. you wondered why the news hadn't been spoken about by chan or any official representatives but the speculations drove you to log out of social media. the realization that one day the articles and headlines will change from 'speculations' to 'confirmations' the anticipation and anxiety driving you insane.

you look back up to your friend, your lips pursed together in a small smile as you reply:

"i'm fine."

…

"chan hyung!"

the boy pulls the pillow up and over his head, trying to block out the noises from outside the door. hoping that the longer he ignored, the realization that he wanted to be alone would sink in and everyone would leave him be. that hope was short-lived as the door swung open.

"chan hyung!" changbin calls from his spot at the door, "you need to eat something."

from where he's standing, changbin watches chan groan out a response from under the pillow, making no effort to get up and go eat something. changbin's eyes drift to the older boy's bedside table, a picture frame is lying face down (probably a photo of you), and sitting on top of the frame is a gold band with a large diamond: your engagement ring. the sight of the band sitting on chan's bedside table and not on your finger has a small frown adorning changbin's lips.

"hyung, i know it's hard but please. you need to take care of yourself too," the younger boy sighs, "locking yourself in your room won't do anyone good."

of course, it wasn't easy for them to see chan in such a state.

chan had always been the one putting up a strong front, walking around with his head up no matter the circumstances as the leader. but these past couple of weeks, whenever chan was out of the public eye he'd walk with his head down, dragging his feet, no words leaving him. almost like he's being forced to be anywhere outside of his bedroom.

the members in the other dorm were curious about their leader, wondering how he'd been holding up but chan stopped replying to the group chat. it got to the point where the members made a chat without chan, using that to ask jisung, changbin and hyunjin how the older one was doing.

for as long as you were in chan's life, you were also in the member's lives. the news of the breakup came as a shock to them as well. they were all curious as to how you were doing too, but were hesitant to ask you directly for fear of making things harder for you. you met all of them through chan, and seeing their names pop up on your phone may just be another reminder of your ex.

changbin's eyes are on chan as the older boy takes the pillow off his head, slowly sitting up on the bed, feet hitting the floor but making no move to stand up. instead he's slouched over, head in his hands and sighing.

"do you, uh…" chan's voice barely above a whisper, "do you think i made a mistake?"

changbin shuts the door behind him hearing chan's question, realizing right now his friend needed someone to talk to before, maybe, going to eat something.

leaning against the door, he replies, "what do you mean?"

"w– was proposing… a mistake?"

"do you feel like it was a mistake?"

chan shakes his head, "no."

"did you mean everything you said when you proposed?"

"yes."

"then it wasn't a mistake."

chan lifts his head out of his hands, head turning to the younger boy leaning at the door. even in the dim purple lighting of chan's room, changbin can see how glossy his eyes are, how the bags under his eyes have gotten more prominent since yesterday.

"was… was letting her go," chan's voice shaky, "a mistake?"

changbin pushes himself off the door, making his way to sit next to his hyung on the bed. a comforting hand moving to chan's back.

"that's a question only you can answer," changbin's lips are pursed to one side, a sympathetic look in his eyes as he continues, "did it feel like a mistake at the time?"

"i- i thought i was doing the right… thing," chan's voice pitches higher at the end, questioning his own answer, "when i came home, an–and saw the dinner table, full of food she made for us. when she told me everything she was feeling, the look i-in her eyes."

chan loves your eyes, it's by far his favourite thing about you.

looking into your eyes had him falling in love with you before he even knew it. looking into them made it feel as if he was looking into your soul, almost like your eyes could tell him what your words couldn't. chan's day would immediately be flipped upside down just at the sight of your eyes, a shitty day becoming the best day when he caught a glimpse of those radiant, warm pools of life, your eyes sparkling with a zest and excitement for life that sent a wave of comfort over him. whenever he looked at you, that glimmer of hope in your eyes made him feel like everything would be okay.

but that night, the look in your eyes that night is seared into chan's memory. haunting him whenever he closes his eyes, whenever his eyes fall on your ring sitting on his bedside table.

that night when you told him just how lonely you'd been feeling, how you felt like he was treating you like the help and not as his fiancé; those words knocked some sense into chan. the harsh reality glaring him down: he had been falling short in your relationship. he had been so blind to that fact for who knows how long, listening to you had chan wallowing in guilt.

at one point chan felt like he was a third person watching everything go down, but it felt like he was watching you and a whole different person. he wondered why he wasn't saying anything, why he couldn't move, why he couldn't feel anything other than guilt eating him alive.

when he looked into your eyes, that's when everything came crashing down.

the eyes that once gleamed up at him, washing a wave of comfort and reassurance through his body were boring into his own. the contrast had his blood running cold. the sight of your hollow and dull orbs gazing up at him, even the sources of light around you did nothing to bring back that sparkle. the way your eyes looked incredibly sunken in, tired, swimming with distress as they searched his. he wondered how he hadn't seen the change before.

a change that happened because of him. the light in your eyes is gone all thanks to him. he wanted to be the one to preserve and make sure your eyes light up for the rest of your life, but instead he's the reason you look defeated. he couldn't handle the guilt eating him up at the sight.

"i-i broke her," chan whispers, "you could see it in her eyes how my shortcomings, the ones i was too blind and stupid to notice… that broke her. i broke her."

changbin doesn't say anything.

"i thought it would be better for me to let her go… get her away from me who was sucking the life out of her," chan's hands run through his hair, "she deserves so much more than me."

the older boy cries. his thoughts, feelings, everything just clouded with you.

"hyung," changbin's tone is soft, feeling out the atmosphere, "don't you think that it's sucking the life out of her even more, to be away from you?"

this time chan is the one who doesn't say anything.

"she wanted you to stay, she wanted you to convince her to stay."

"convince me to stay… please."

"i'm sorry."

"yes. from what you told us the day after you broke up, she does deserve better."

changbin's words send a dagger to chan's heart.

"but don't you want to be the one she deserves?"

chan's head turns to look at changbin.

"you need to work to be better, to be the one y/n deserves. that's what she wants, she wants you hyung."

"… m-me?"

"she wouldn't have said yes to marrying you if she didn't want you for the rest of her life."

…

your plan for the day was to wake up around noon, order some takeout or ransack your best friend's freezer for some food (and ice cream), chill on the couch and watch some netflix. instead you're jolted awake, at ten in the morning, by pounding at the front door.

rolling your eyes in annoyance, stretching your arm out, feeling around before grasping a pillow and clutching it over your head, trying your hardest to block out the noises and fall asleep. hoping the longer you hold out, it will give off the illusion that no one's home and come back later. a couple moments pass, a sigh of relief falls from your lips when the knocking stops, allowing you to loosen your grip on the pillow around your head.

maybe the neighbours got annoyed and kicked whoever that was out.

at the silence, you roll onto your side and shift your body around to get comfortable in the mattress. another long breath leaving your lips once that optimal position to fall asleep in is found, closing your eyes and getting ready to be lulled back into dreamland.

now you think someone is fucking with you.

the knocking starts up again, for a second you thought you'd fallen asleep and the knocking was continuing in your dreams but no. sadly, you weren't lulled back into dreamland like you hoped, the pounding in your head making it apparent that this was indeed, reality.

on top of all the things happening in your life lately, being woken up by a stranger relentlessly hammering the life out of their fist on your– actually, your best friend's– door is the kicker to a great day. a whine leaving your lips as you roll out of bed, pouting as you trudge to the door of the guest bedroom and continue your trek down the hall, towards the front door.

sure, you wouldn't have minded if your best friend, the person who lives in this unit, was actually home to answer the door. alas, she's at work whilst you're here; straightening out your pyjamas and plastering the fakest smile on your lips whilst you undo the locks, twisting the doorknob and swinging the door open.

"hello, mis—"

your jaw drops. posture immediately straightening due to the wave of tension that rushes through your veins, your mind comes up with two options: hide behind the door or run. your heart begins to race in your chest, tears threatening to spill at any moment but your feet are cemented to the ground. any urge you had to run away and hide quickly depleting at the sight of the man in front of you, a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

"chan… wh-what are you doing here?"

there he is: the man of the hour.

in front of you, in the flesh. standing a couple inches away from you clad in his usual all-black attire. you're avoiding his gaze but can't seem to pry your eyes off the bouquet in the man's hold.

a medley of red and white roses, baby's breath peeking throughout the arrangement.

"i- i needed to see you," chan's voice comes out husky.

shifting awkwardly on your feet, you sigh, "how did you know i was here?"

"multiple calls to your best friend and a long speech," he uses his free hand to scratch at the back of his neck, a nervous smile on his lips.

'she's getting a long speech from me too.'

"okay, well…" you clear your throat, "you saw me so bye."

you go to shut the door but chan stumbles forward, holding it open as he stands in the doorframe. the gush of air from his sudden movements gives you a whiff of his cologne. that along with the closer proximity has a lump forming in your throat.

"w-wait, i wanted to talk too."

"y-you spoke and so did i so, bye," you choke out, trying to close the door again but to no avail as his body blocks your way, "please chan, what more do you want from me? don't make this harder for me."

chan reaches forward at the sight of a tear falling, wanting to wipe it away but you flinch away from his touch. your reaction has chan recoiling, he shifts awkwardly on his feet. you go to turn away from him.

"i made a mistake," he states, his words coming out rushed.

you gulp, angling your body towards the man again. this time your arms crossed over your chest, your gaze still falling away from his face. chan's throat clears when he realizes that you're not going to speak.

"that night, i shouldn't have let you go," he continues, "i should've told you, said something, said anything to convince you to stay… but… fuck. i- i was scared."

your eyes glance up at his face, only to look away just as quickly.

"you're probably thinking, of what?" chan runs a hand through his hair, "but listening to everything you said, everything that i was stupid, ignorant enough not to notice, all those things that i did– or, uh didn't do… that hurt you. it scared me to tell you i wanted you to stay."

your eyebrows furrow in frustration, this time your gaze stays on his face, making no move to wipe the tears running down your cheeks.

"listening to you, hearing how much i hurt you. i- i thought it would've been selfish of me to tell you to stay," chan's voice cracks, tears falling from his eyes as well, "i thought i would hurt you more if you stayed… that you didn't deserve that, y-you deserved so much more than me."

"god, chan.…" a bitter smile on your lips, "you saying nothing, letting me leave… a-and not fighting for me, for us! fuck… that hurt more than anything."

the memories of that night have your heart aching. whimpering as the tears continue to fall, the sight has chan's gradually getting heavier in his chest. he wants nothing but to pull you into his arms and to never let go.

"i know… i know. baby, i'm so sorry," chan's cheeks are soaked with tears but he makes no effort to wipe them away, "i'm so fucking sorry. i thought i was doing what was best for you, but i fucked up, i fucked up big time."

your eyes lock with chan's. glossy, tear-filled orbs gazing into each other, at that moment the tears only build until the both of you are crying a river in the hallway.

chan quite literally launches himself at you. throwing his arms around your body and pulling you into his chest. instinctively, your arms wrap around his torso, nuzzling your head into his shirt. bodies trembling and shaking as the both of you cry in each other's arms.

chan soaks up every single thing about this moment; the warmth of your body radiating onto him, your face nuzzled into his chest, the smell of your hair, the way your hands grip the back of his shirt, the feeling of your body pressed up against his. he isn't even sure that you'll take him back. regardless, he knows he wants to work his hardest to ensure he'll have you in his arms every day for the rest of his life.

in his arms, he holds the person who has been with him every step of the way and supported him day in and day out. the biggest mistakes chan ever made took place on that day: not convincing you to stay, not telling you how he loves you with his entire heart, and holding your engagement ring in his hand while he watched you walk out.

chan wants you to be so much more than just his past and present, he wants you to be his future, his forever. he's always wanted that but he failed at showing you, instead hurting you in ways he was completely ignorant of.

"i love you," chan cries, you can hear his heart racing in his chest, "i love you so much. if you let me, i'll work every single moment of every day to show you that. when i told you i wanted you for the rest of my life, i meant it. i mean it with my whole heart. i fucked up–majorly, but i swear to you! i swear i'll show you that i'm the one you deserve, that i can give you that life you deserve."

chan looks down at you, enveloped in his arms as your gaze naturally lifts to meet his eyes.

chan's heart skips a beat.

there it is.

that sparkle.

main masterlist

[tifaisms]

RWBY and Trauma

So, i want to talk a little bit about RWBY. Specifically, with regards to its thematic storytelling. I think I made a post about this a few days ago but im gonna make a longer one here.

RWBY tackles a lot of themes in its storytelling. Death, grief, fear, trust, etc. to name a few.

One of the bigger themes is "keep moving forward", which was also Monty's motto. It is exemplified through the characters, both heroes and villains, and how they handle trauma and suffering.

The villains have pretty much all suffered. Salem, Cinder, Hazel, Mercury, Emerald, Roman, Neo, even Watts, all suffered. They experienced trauma, and hardship, and it shaped them.

The big difference between them and team RWBY is that they cannot move forward. Where team RWBY learn to grow and change. Salem couldn't accept loss, and grief, and instead turned those emotions to anger, same with Hazel, Adam, Neo, they all refused to move beyond their trauma. Yang put it pretty well in V8 - all this death and destruction because something bad happened to you once upon a time?

Trauma is inevitable. But the difference between the heroes and the villains is how their trauma impacts them going forward. And not just in a "the villains react negatively and the heroes don't" because Ruby reacted poorly, as did Blake, and Weiss in the early volumes. Qrow drinks to deal with it, and Ozpin let the betrayal he experienced define him.

The difference here is that the heroes try to grow and stop making their suffering everyone else's problem. You cannot use your trauma to justify lashing out at the world and other people. I think Kratos in God of War put it quite well - "Do not be sorry. Be better." You can't hurt people because you are traumatised, because all that does is traumatise everyone else. It isn't a justification for lashing out. Salem was traumatised, and she murdered so many people, and traumatised a bunch of other people, who will only continue that cycle.

It is worth noting that some of the antagonists do grow and change and become better. Ilia, Emerald, Hazel, and Neo are the big examples. They were all hurt by the world, and they turned to anger and violence. But Ilia is convinced by Blake that it isn't what she wants, and Blake is right. So Ilia turns away from that path. Hazel and Emerald both change and grow, and whilst Hazel gets the noble sacrifice, Emerald has to make amends for hurting people by being and doing better, and trying to make a positive impact on the world. And Neo had an entire arc culminating in her seeking revenge, and getting it, and realising that it was a hollow victory that left her with nothing but directionless grief and anger. When she had nothing to pursue, she was forced to confront the fact that she was just running from her actual feelings and lashing out. In the end, she chooses to go to the tree willingly, which is essentially willingly giving in to change and growth, because that's what the tree does.

The central conflict of the show is essentially that everyone has suffered, and experienced trauma. But it is the hero's ability and desire to grow beyond it and be better, so that they stop hurting the people around them, that sets them apart from the villains, who refuse to keep moving forward and instead just let their suffering infect everyone else, perpetuating an endless cycle of violence and conflict.

[aectpen]

3 of Us - poly!haobin x reader

m.list

pairing: haobin x reader

genre: angst with happy ending

synopsis: hanbin and hao have a fight that leaves you in the middle

words: .9k

You stared up at the ceiling. Sandwiched between Hanbin and Hao, unable to toss and turn, you found yourself incapable of even catching a wink of rest. Their backs were turned away, oblivious to your restless night.

Earlier that evening, Hanbin and Hao engaged in a heated argument sparked by Hao's perceived "flirting" with an old friend at the market. Hanbin's reaction stemmed from his deep affection for you; he became upset with Hao for appearing excessively friendly towards the girl in your presence. It's true that you experienced a twinge of jealousy, with a tightness in your chest as you observed the way Hao tilted his head and smiled at her—the same way he usually did with you.

Despite all of that, you hesitated to bring it up. After all, he isn’t in contact with her, so why harbor any resentment? However, even though you mentally decided to let it go, your feelings manifested in your expressions and actions. Throughout the rest of the day, a subtle pout lingered on your face, and when Hao inquired about something, your responses were brief. Hanbin took note of all of this, but didn’t want to make a scene.

The moment the three of you reached home, Hanbin immediately pounced on the opportunity to call him out.

“So you’re just gonna act oblivious?” Hanbin raised his voice. Hao only laughed, thinking Hanbin was joking. “That girl. You were so obvious!”

You stayed silent, not wanting to start a fight, nor participate in one.

“She was just a friend that I hadn’t seen in a while.” Hao explained, raising his hands.

“The way you were acting. It was just disrespectful. Do you not notice when y/n is upset about stuff like this?” Tears welled in your eyes. You dreaded sparking a conflict between them, silently praying that Hanbin wouldn't address the underlying reason for your uncharacteristic behavior, devoid of your usual affectionate demeanor.

“Why do you always have to speak for her? Do you enjoy causing problems?” That's when it escalated beyond its initial scope. When you resort to a personal jab, you lose sight of the main issue and attempt to deliver an even more hurtful blow.

The remark ignited a shouting match between the two, spiraling into a confrontation where the original cause of their disagreement became unclear. Anger clouded their judgment, rendering the argument directionless. Despite your plea for them to stop, they remained deaf to reason. Their conflicts were infrequent, only arising from trivial matters.

You just wanted it to end. Even if Hao’s actions hurt your feelings, you knew he didn’t have malicious intent. He was just a friendly person. You also know Hanbin only came at him because of his love for you.  He couldn’t stand to see you upset without an apology.

The remainder of the night unfolded in silence. Not a word was spoken. Tension hung thick in the air, palpable enough to be sliced with a knife. The anger was so intense that neither of them could bring themselves to talk to you. Each person carried out their nightly routine in solitude.

None of you were angry enough to sleep separately. You thought about it, but neither of them raised the idea. Hanbin went to sleep first, followed by you, then Hao. They slept on their sides, both facing away from you.

Sleep eluded you as you dwelled on the unfolding events. You beat yourself up for allowing them to sleep harboring anger. You played out alternate scenarios in your mind, envisioning a timeline where you intervened promptly, and everyone went to sleep in a comforting embrace. Yet, even in that hypothetical situation, you couldn't escape the possibility of making Hanbin feel guilty for defending you.

You tuned into the gentle rhythm of their breathing, observing the subtle rise and fall of their shoulders. Thoughts of the morning ahead invaded your mind, anticipating the impending silence. The last thing you wished for was them waking up with furrowed brows and lingering pouts.

The echo of their hurtful words played on a loop in your mind. You couldn't shake off the realization that your own jealousy had fueled the current situation. A quiet sniffle escaped you as tears traced a path down the side of your face, dampening your pillow. 

The supposedly hushed sniffles didn't escape Hanbin's notice. He shifted to face you. "Trouble sleeping?"

Turning toward him, he glimpsed your slightly puffy eyes and pursed lips, prompting him to tenderly touch your cheek. "Is this about us? God, I'm so sorry, y/n."

"No need to apologize. It's my fault it happened in the first place," you self-criticized.

"It's not," he insisted, shaking his head vigorously. "Things got out of hand. At this point, it's nobody's fault."

“I just want it to be over. I don’t want anyone to be mad.” You held on to his hand.

Both of you directed your attention to Hao, who was now propped up on both elbows.

“I’m sorry. I was being dismissive and mean.” He leaned towards you.

“I’m sorry for not listening to you and being mean too.” Hanbin returned the apology.

“Now kith,” you said, earning a laugh from the both of them.

Hanbin positioned himself between the two of you, encircling his arms around you both, drawing you closer. You and Hao intertwine your hands over Hao’s chest, blowing air kisses at each other. The three of you drifted off to sleep, accompanied by a harmonious chorus of soft snores, just as it was meant to be.

[llamagoddessofficial]

😣omg... ouch.... that last ask broke my heart! I want to fix it! What if Mc realized it was a mistake to break up with them and and wanted to get back together💔?

Sans: Would he get back together with her if she asked?

... It's complicated.

He wants to. Definitely. This is what he's been quietly wishing for for the entirety of their time separated. But the breakup registers like a betrayal to him- as much as he still desperately loves her, as much as he leans into her touch, he can't help but feel that age-old instinct to draw away and protect himself. She might just have to accept that it's going to take some time for him to trust her again. He's always been a 'fool me once' kinda guy, and the type of reassurance he needs is one that only time can provide.

If she's happy to be patient, she might one day find herself to be the only person Sans has given a second chance.

Red: For all his posturing, for all his bravado, for all his directionless fury and spite... yes, he'd take her back in a heartbeat. It doesn't matter how angry he is, he wouldn't hesitate. Not for a second. The anger melts when the nightmare ends. He pulls her close, he apologises for the things he said in the heat of the moment. Just... just tell him you'll never leave. That's all he's ever wanted to hear.

It's a long night of laying beside one another, talking about what happened to make all of that go down. What made her leave, what made her come back, what made him react the way he did. In a way, it brings them closer than before- aware of the shortcomings that might bring the relationship down again.

The one she'll really have to win over again is Papyrus. He doesn't like his brother being emotionally jerked around like that. Unless she has a pretty good reason for acting how she did it'll take a while to sway him.

Skull: Probably safer for everyone this way, anyway.

[evilkitten3]

i think the reason i like todoroki and bakugou's dynamic in pretty much any kind of context is the contrast between their reactions. bakugou is over-the-top all the time, going all-out for absolutely everything, 100% maximum no chill. he's so shit with emotions that everything he feels gets turned into pure rage. he acts like a punk and has no social skills but is extremely strict about things like studying and having a healthy sleep schedule. meanwhile todoroki is also passionate but garbage at expressing his non-anger feelings. he has the vibes and backstory of someone who sits around brooding and thinking deep thoughts but if you zoomed into his head you'd hear shit like "i wonder if you can knit socks for worms".

todoroki has his whole "i'm not here to make friends" thing and then like two weeks later he's convinced that bakugou is his new bestie while bakugou screams at him for daring to breathe in his presence.

it's like having two kittens pushing things off the counter but one if doing it bc he hates you and wants you to suffer and the other is doing it bc he genuinely hasn't figured out that things fall when you push them. they're both so so so stupid and so so so smart and they have a hilarious dynamic as characters. they work together in a way that most of the other characters don't just bc their energies are so completely different and yet the story just keeps shoving them together (like that one drama cd lmao).

also they're just. so weird about each other???? like part of bakugou's post battle trial breakdown was bc he thought todoroki could beat him and then their next interaction is him being pissed that todoroki is paying attention to someone else, followed by him being pissed that todoroki didn't beat him. he's having all this complex emotional turmoil and todoroki's just thinking "ha. eat shit dad". and then they get paired up for the remedial lessons and something in todoroki's brain goes "objective: unlock Friend". and then there's all the shit with enji deciding to maybe try not being a dick so now todoroki is having emotional turmoil while bakugou is thinking "eat shit (directionless)"

and that's about where i stopped reading but i love them so much it's unreal. like this isn't even about them as a romantic ship or anything i just think their interactions are stupendous in general

[findafight]

I haven’t finished the series yet (I keep having to tap out because the writers keep referring back to episodes that they think they’ve written rather episodes that I actually watched), but I think the big disconnect between their writers and the audience have with regard to Steve is that the show *insists* on treating Steve’s character development as if it’s a “Redemption Arc”, when it is in fact a fairly standard coming-of-age story.

He starts season one coasting through an almost cookie-cutter existence, moulded by the people that he hangs out with. By season four, he’s the lone jock in a group of nerds and geeks of all stripes (Lucas is getting in there though) and has found his soulmate in a weird theatre kid (whose love life he’s arguably more invested in than his own). He has his own tastes and interests, but he’s open to those of his friends as well. He’s the unofficial “adult” of the group and has a leadership position, not because an adult has left him in charge, but because again and again he chooses to take responsibility for The Party’s safety.

[Side note - the way Steve chooses over and over to take responsibility, above and beyond what was asked of him, leading to him being more comfortable in his own skin and sure of who he is VS Jonathan having responsibility thrust upon him at such a formative age that he starts to experience an identity crisis in season four as they’re stripped away from him.

Just. Why didn’t these two have more of a relationship onscreen? Why does this show do so *little* to explore how Jonathan feels about his parentification? Or the ways in which this has hurt him over the years? W H Y ?]

As you’ve pointed out elsewhere(?), the worst of Steve’s actions in season one are the result of him lashing out in anger. But he’s shown to regret these actions, and takes ownership and responsibility of them in a way that feels genuine. Jon and Nancy aren’t there to see him help clean up the graffiti; he didn’t know that Nancy was there when he went to apologise to Jonathan; as far as we know Jonathan still doesn’t know that Steve is the one who replaced his camera.

They didn’t write a stock Stephen King bully - they wrote a male, messier version of Cher Horowitz.

yes! all of this!!

Steve's just a guy who was sort of a shitty teenager but then made the conscious choice to Do Better. He just wanted to apologize! Make things right! and that seemed to lead into making sure his town isn't infested by monsters and that a group of annoying thirteen year olds don't die also doing that. And yet they try to tell us he was a giant mean bully.

honestly I'm going to put the lack of character interaction and development (especially with a cast of the size Stranger things has) on Netflix. If they could have a regular season or even a 12-15 episode season a lot of the inconsistencies and dropped character elements and explore dynamics way more.

Jonathan being thrust into responsibility when Steve actively chose it!!! makes me scream!!! Jonathan needing to figure out who he is, but at the same time not wanting to and avoiding it, while Steve had to figure that out before. Steve might be a bit directionless, but he knows who he is. Jonathan at least thinks he knows what he wants at first but he doesn't know who he is outside of his family. Especially now that Will is growing up and not needing him the same way as before. I think him and steve interacting would be so interesting and i WISH they let us see something other than animosity or ignoring each other. They've got similarities but are soooo different. Just. AHHHhh many thoughtssss