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#okay. observations about my mental state.#well first off it is bad#second off i feel like every emotion i feel is it’s own piece of me#with no overlap#when I am miserable that’s all i am and it feels like there’s no respite from that#when i’m happy i’m manic and overly energetic and i cling to it bc i know eventually i’ll be back to being sad and depressed#and recent update. the anger patch#maybe i want to believe these are all different personas or whatever (NOT SAYING THAT!! being so clear right now i do not believe that#it’s just what the experience feels like.)#but yeah i don’t want to think that the person i am when i’m angry is me#because it’s such an awful bitter feeling#and like i know i’m allowed to be mad#and given the shit i’m putting up with i mean who wouldn’t be#but it makes me so fucking unpleasant and i can FEEL that#just that directionless anger#and i feel like i can only condemn it after the fact in the moment I feel powerless to stop those feelings#uggghhh#anyways art imitates life or whatever
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“It’s fine if you present that way but don’t get mad when people misgender you”
Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up
#transgender#trans#queer#non binary#people like this are so fucking stupid#just because we present a certain doesn’t make someone inherently delusional#I’m aware of how I look actually isn’t that so crazy#in allowed to be upset but why would I be mad at someone else for that if they don’t know me
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I think more people should make peace with their dark sides, and I don’t mean that in an edgy way, I mean that in a “letting purity culture infect you to the point where you get frightened by even your own darker thoughts and impulses is NOT the healthy own you think it is” kind of way and
#you should be comfortable knowing you CAN get angry#you should be allowing yourselves to feel bad or angry or mad or even hateful without thinking you’re suddenly evil like#I think people who try to be positive and unproblematic and peaceful ALL the time are so unhealthy#personal txt#this isn’t about anything in particular I’m just sick of people thinking being angry is inherently problematic
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green beetle black beetle
#star wars#the original trilogy#boba fett#darth vader#hi. sorry for star war jumpscare. genuinely#i feel like ive kinda been on an art hiatus lately due to health stuff#i got diagnosed with a parathyroid disease recently (wahoo) so now i know why i have been feeling so bad! need more tests though#anyway. in the mean time most of the entertainment my brain can handle has been like. youtube clip compilations of shows and movies#not even the actual shows or movies. literally just sections of them on youtube#i wish i was joking#the only reason i know what happens in succession is because i have watched it in disjointed order in youtube compilations. not joking#anyway so ive learned a lot more about star wars than i ever. thought i would#mostly just the original trilogy and prequels. some of the old comics & books are interesting too#(sick to my stomach) i like darth vader he has like the same personality as ganondorf except he had no good reason for doing anything#when vader/anakin does literally anything weird or unacceptable it like. makes me laugh so hard its like jerma when he sees a car accident#boba fett’s costume design has been rotating in my head a lot too it’s very good#he’s very colorful and like. matte/unpolished compared to vader and it makes them a cool duo visually#those 2 are my favorites. vader why is the space cowboy the only person aside from sidious or tarkin who is allowed to get mad at you#sidious is my 3rd favorite. he sucks so bad as like a person that you just. you have no expectations of him except just being evil#so its just really funny like everything he does is horrible and he’s so happy all the time like good for him#i’m making it sound like ive never seen star wars before. i have i just never really cared about it until i got an endocrine disorder lmao#but yeah idk art may continue to be slow while im figuring out treatment stuff#if anyone reading this also has or has had hyperparathyroidism im wishing the strength & radiance of 1000 beautiful horses upon you
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WHY are BT shippers so vehemently against actually analyzing the symbolism and choices made for this show?
i mean i saw multiple people saying we were overthinking the vertigo poster. they were saying that it was weird to assume that Buck would fill the pining best friend role that Midge did in the original movie??? (haven’t seen the movie, i just read a few synopses)
i’m sorry, so you agree that he put Ryan Guzman in the main character and Devin Kelley as the love interest because they’ll fill those roles in the storyline, but we’re overthinking when we point out what role he put Oliver Stark in?
or when i bring up the possible symbolism of Tommy always calling him Evan, the only response i get from BT stans is “well he would tell him if he didn’t like it” or “i think it’s because he was introduced that way and that’s why” or even “i think he probably likes that Tommy calls him Evan” (all real responses i saw) and it’s like, yeah that’s cool, those are great headcanons for you, but that actually isn’t what i was talking about. nothing wrong with having a headcanon, but it doesn’t explain anything about the show or answer any of my questions.
i mean in s4 he corrected his PARENTS and told them his name was Buck, and in s6 it was used to emphasize the strangeness of his coma dream, how everyone was calling him Evan, the whole show him being called Evan has almost always been used to emphasize that someone doesn’t know him very well, how are y’all convinced that it’ll mean something different this time? i get that some people think it’s supposed to be growth, that he’s cool with being called his first name, but if that’s the goal it definitely isn’t reading that way to me.
like i wish i could see things through the same lens as these people so it could make sense to me, i just don’t get how you can willfully ignore SO many hints just so you can ship what you want.
no hate to the ship or the shippers obviously, i’m just baffled by the lengths they’ll go to in order to convince themselves that plot device man is endgame for Buck.
#buddie#i know now that i’m not allowed to tag this bucktommy#i still feel like i should but i know they’ll get mad at me#911#911 on abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#tommy kinard#and like it’s fine to ship what you want but why do you have to try and convince everyone it’s endgame?#like just ship it and be happy you get content#you actually don’t have to convince us to ship it as well#you don’t have to try and stop buddie fans from shipping what we want#you are actually allowed to ship what you want without trying to discredit everyone’s theories#plus like even if i’m wrong theories are still fun#even if the show turns out nothing like i’m predicting it will(it most definitely won’t turn out like my predictions)#i still had fun speculating#even if it is all over analyzed (it probably is) it’s still fun#also didn’t tim minear say this season would parallel s4?#in s4 it was HEAVILY emphasized in buck begins that his parents calling him Evan made him uncomfortable#if this season really does parallel s4 (not seeing it yet but idk) then that choice HAS to be intentional
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i hate that old nickelodeon shows are borderline unrewatchable because you now realize how many inappropriate and weird things were put into them by dan schneider. it genuinely makes me so angry that he was allowed to be in charge of writing the scripts for kids shows and no one stopped him from adding in sexual jokes and scenes. and now the shows are ruined and permanently uncomfortable to watch because you know why those scenes are there. i hate it.
#yes this is about henry danger#and it’s like every episode it’s not even avoidable#how this ever was allowed happened is insane to me#i know i’m not saying anything new or revolutionary here i’m just mad#i was going to rewatch henry danger but there’s so many weird things written into it that i couldn’t do it#i’m just pissed i thought i finally found a new show to watch#ciftrchats#rant post#that’s a first for me#henry danger#who would have thought i’d be making a post about henry danger on here#but that’s the end of that i watched 2 episodes and i can’t do it#no henry danger hyperfixation for me
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love being transgender , positivity, blah blah , whatever but i HATE GETTING SWERVED AND SPITROASTED BY CVS AMD PLANNED PARENTHOOD AFTER PAYING COLD HARD CASH FOR A GAY LITTLE APPOINTMENT THAT ALLOWS ME TO BUY FUCKING SYRUP THAT MAKES ME A MAN AND THEN NOT EVEN GETTIGN IT FOR SOME REASONI CANT EVEN CALL MY BITCH ASS 1 STAR RN PROVIDER AND BE LIKE HEYYYYYYYYY WHY IS MY THIGN ON HOLD :333BECAUSE HER NUMBERS JUST THE PP NUMBER AND WHENEVET I CALL THE PHARMACY OR PP ITS LIKE beep boop sorry go fuck yourself GOD
#allow me to complain#why why why#i know i’m overreacting but ITS JUST FUCKING STYPID#genuinely tweaking#GENUINELY#i can’t do anythign i’m not FUNCTIONAL LIKE THIS#IM SO MAD#and SAD#SMAD#UGGGGGSGSGGGGGG#need to take a chill pill#everything is going WRONF#THE FACT THTA I EVEN HAVE TO TAKE THE TESTOSTERONE INSTEAD OF BEING BORN W IT IS ALREADY FUCKING DUMVB WHY IS THIS SO ANNOYING AND DUMB#my “annual should be coming up soon#or whatever#BUT MORE LIKE NOT A FUCKING ANNUAL#BECAUSE IVE HAD THSI HAPPEN LIKE EVERYTIME I NEED A NEW PRESCRIPTION OR SOMETHIGN#I WOULD JUST LIKE TO CONSISTENTLY BE ON TGIS DRUG THANKS PLEASE AND THANKS!!!!!!!!#take all my money take my h#ouse
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just gonna go ahead and say this in advance—
if Riz does indeed come out in junior year, and he says, “I’m ace” or “I’m asexual” when referring specifically to his lack of romantic attraction, aromantic people are allowed to be upset about it.
#because yes of course some people irl say ace to mean both bc that’s how they personally identify#but in fictional media the distinction is necessary. especially with how few canonically aromantic characters even exist in ANY mainstream/#popular media.#I assure you I’m not invalidating anyone who is ace and they mean that to include lack of romantic attraction.#But to look at this from a MEDIA PERSPECTIVE its irresponsible to do this w/out clarification that they also know the word aromantic exists#because otherwise that’s just a conflation of asexual and aromantic without any nuance#and an erasure of aromantic people who are not asexual.#Plus—name a single fucking time a character in mainstream/popular media has said the word aromantic.#Because I can name several instances where they say asexual. But I can’t think of ONE where they say aro or aromantic.#(Maybe that Isaac kid does in season 2 of Heartstopper? But I haven’t seen it so I’m not 100% sure.)#anyways.#the way this fucking fandom—and ANY fandom with a canon aro character—discusses the aromantic spectrum#is blatantly just to remove their own personal guilt for shipping that character with other characters and erasing their orientation.#because yes aromanticism IS a spectrum!! But when people talk about fabriz and say ‘he can still be ace!’ (Which is aro erasure) or#‘he can still be aro!’ They never SHOW riz still being aro or having any kind of complex relationship with romance.#I’m angry and I’m allowed to be.#I get that a ship you liked may be hard to let go of or something#But I’d be much less mad if all the fabriz fans said ‘yeah I know Riz is aro in canon and he and Fabian would never get together.#I just like to imagine it sometimes in fiction/fanon!’ Then that would be a WHOLE different conversation#Because then they’d at least be acknowledging that riz doesn’t feel romance in canon. That fabriz is something that actively#Goes against the canon characterization of one of those characters—and that’s fine. Just fucking ACKNOWLEDGE IT.#But most of these people either WANT fabriz to be canon/believe it WILL BE canon#OR I guess feel uncomfortable confronting the fact that they ARE erasing riz’s aromanticism so they don’t even acknowledge it at all.#fhjy#fantasy high#d20#dimension 20#riz gukgak#aromantic riz gukgak#fhsy
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so fucking funny that my dad (literally works with something that, supposedly, requires a good understanding of how ppl work) can’t help me move without having a mental break and yelling at me. whereas my mom who’s generally less social is able to get it done w me in a single day because she understands the basic concept of “if you are mad and mean at someone they will work less efficiently”
#but nooo the world is hard and mean and cold and i have to LEARN that.#anyways can you tell i’m glad i didn’t allow my dad to help me move out this year#sorry i just will never understand ppl who get mad when it would clearly just make the situation worse#and then they try to JUSTIFY it. like ok i understand it’s not always easy to control but like. don’t defend urself bestie#anger as an emotion. at least when it’s expressed in a genuinely mean spirited way. is so deeply unproductive#arambles#i think anger can be expressed in ways where it is actually important. but when your goal is clearly just to hurt the other person.#i think it’s genuinely idiotic sorry#like idk i’ll be mad at rama sometimes. becuase that’s what relationships are like. but i’d never want to HURT them#if i express anger it’s only to let them know they did somethign that upset me or whatever#sorry having lots of thoughts
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I’m not even gon hold y’all…..
That Widow Mythic is ass 🥴
#I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this#in other fandoms I’d get jumped for stuff like this#she’s one of my top 3 favorite characters in the game too so I’m like……#I’m still mad over the Ashe mythic cuz that one was ass too#widowmaker#overwatch widowmaker#team talon#overwatch 2#overwatch
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Just gonna say that mocking people for voicing their disappointment over the stream (spongebobscreamingwithflyingicecreamtruck.png “IN A CIVIL AND POLITE MANNER”) just makes you like. An asshole lmao. People are gonna be disappointed when they’re told they’re getting one thing and getting another no matter what, even if what they get instead is really good/funny.
#seeing this from both a lot of friends and mutuals and like! hey#as someone who is disappointed it’s really bothering me seeing people who I like say rude shit that applies to me?#like yeah. hlvrai fandom is annoying we know this. yeah there’s a lot of people being dicks abt this and they suck but like#dude this was the one thing getting me through finals and failing a class im allowed to say ‘hey im disappointed the thing related to my#special interest turned out to be a trick.’ even though I still enjoyed what I watched#like yeah. I’m upset. I’m really upset actually#not over the stream being a bait in switch but from peoples reactions to it on both sides of the fence lmao#everyone is being a big fucking baby over it. the hlvrai fans yelling about how much they hate RTVS ANNNNNND the people being like#‘erm if you’re disappointed you’re a fake fan. grow up. stay mad.’ like WOW#harassing RTVS over this makes you a loser. making fun of people for being disappointed makes you a loser. congratulations youre all a bunch#of whiny ass babies screaming at eachother and at each others throats over fucking half life funny#each and everyone one of you
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The internet don’t make every slightly plus size actors performance about their weight challenge impossible
#sorry I’m thinking about this again and it’s making me kind of mad#like I feel like this happens so much still where a larger actor will get cast in a role where they’re meant to be desirable#then they get asked in constantly how it feels and how empowering it is#like can we as fat people just like exist and allowed to be hot without it being seen as this huge rebellion against culture#it’s not empowering for people to keep fixating on your weight and asking you about it#plus size#whoops I don’t know how to tag this
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fuck I can’t believe I have to say this but you know it’s not stupid or even immoral to have hope even when things are objectively bad right?? you do know that finding fault in literally everything and never permitting yourself to ever relax or be positive or hope for the best is ACTIVELY BAD FOR YOUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH, RIGHT?? PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME YOU KNOW THIS!!!
#I know this is the ‘nuance is illegal and makes you a bootlicker’ website but PLEASE#I’ve already seen so many posts and memes being like ‘who cares that we could have a female president when the us is still evil??’#like??? it’s been 24 hours and everyone’s already doing the thing they promised they wouldn’t#the us has been complicit in the situation with Israel and Palestine for decades now#every president you’ve voted for every president I’ve voted for every president we haven’t voted for has been complicit#I know it comforts you to think there’s some alternative that allows you to distance yourself from that suffering#But there isn’t#Your tax dollars have contributed to it as have mine#That sucks and we’re right to hate it and be mad about it#but we have a binary choice in November#both sides of which are Not Great on the Palestine issue but one of which is Much Worse#people are allowed to be multi-issue voters#It is in fact the only way the us system will allow it to work#people are allowed to say my vote will maybe make a difference in abortion access; trans and gay rights; student loans; inflation#minimum wage; healthcare access and costs; and the supreme court and whatever else they care about#it’s not wrong to think that way#it’s the only way we’re not going to worry ourselves down into little nubs by November#I’m sorry I know it’s bleak but I need yall to be adults about this#I need yall to show yourselves and your fellow citizens (not just in the us but everywhere) some damn compassion#If hope isn’t a weapon that you wield easily I’m going to need you to practice okay?#things will get better#there’s no other choice
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brunch was very good except towards the end we got to talking about elden ring bc my friend is a big fromsoft fan & i said “yeah it’s too bad it’s so hard for me, i should give it another chance but i don’t enjoy games that are that hard” (well-trodden ground, we have had this conversation before) and then she started lecturing me about how it’s not that hard, actually, people just say it’s really hard, and if you play it the right way (inscrutable rules known only to people familiar with the franchise) it’s really much easier, you didn’t try hard enough and should try again, it’s not that big a deal you can’t pause, you just need to find a save spot and here’s where they are (useless information to me), etc. and like the thing is that i was already saying that i should give it another chance. but i was also saying that i recognize that im not the intended audience for those types of games and KNEW that when i purchased it but wanted to give it a try because everyone else looked like they were having a lot of fun. im an EXTREMELY casual gamer. i barely play video games at all, let alone difficult ones. you telling me that im wrong for recognizing that something isn’t for me isn’t gonna make me play your game. i know my own mind. and this conversation actually makes me never want to play a video game ever again!
#it’s not that big a deal i know she just wants me to play bc she loves it so much#but like if i tell you it’s hard for me and i didn’t have fun then don’t tell me im wrong for feeling that way#especially since i said i WOULD play again some day!#and then she did some other stuff i didn’t like and got mad at me for saying something about it but i wont get into it#i shouldn’t post this but i’m irritated. whatever im allowed to complain#chatpost#i have to figure out what i’m gonna do with the rest of my day. maybe i should play a video game actually#not elden ring though#also if you come on this post & tell me elden ring isn’t that hard actually i WILL kill you.
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maybe there’s a nicer way to say this, but do y’all really not get that there’s a massive difference between like…asking a friend if they’ve ever questioned whether they could be [x], vs. treating their personal identity like a big joke and laughing at it behind your hand bc you (arrogantly) think you know it better than they do
#i cannot believe how much discourse i’m seeing lately that like#boils down to: one person complaining about the latter & then someone writes an essay abt how it’s bigoted to be mad abt the former#i don’t know. people other than you are Also allowed to like…take their own identity personally#even if You don’t immediately see what might be sensitive about it or whatever
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paralive has been kind of pissing me off recently but let me not linger on that lmfao i will muscle through this for visty lore
#the way the groups have been set up with each other is looking so terrible for the overall story#i just want some more plot and worldbuilding but if bae and cozmez keep winning we’re going to get nothing but more plotless fillers#i’m acually so sick of them winning everything. some of us have REAL PROBLEMS. what about alter trigger#the way akanyatsura and 1nm8 have the capacity to drive the story with their connection to alter trigger. and they might not even make it#i love bae but i’m kind of getting sick of the way paralive is written and the voting system that ruins everything#also like 😭😭 bae’s storyline i believe is Over. we dont need to touch that anymore#and cozmez have been through enough. just let them be happy dear god#we dont even know anything about iori yet despite the role he’s played in other ppl’s character arcs. INSANE#he was there for hajun’s phantometal erosion and kanata’s hallucination of nayuta BE SERIOUS#he has access to information that creates plot movement + he’s in a good position as the head of the suiseki group#to go bar for bar with alter trigger given his resources and also his wide reach#also the stakes are high for both akyr and 1nm8 to reach / take down alter trigger#it just makes for an exciting story. u dont even need to take Creative Writing 101 to know this#i’m just getting so mad thinking about it. i’m allowed to be angry because i love these characters & the premise#and i hate seeing it go to waste#not to mention the connection yeon conglomerate had with alter trigger themselves? what happened to that#getting dongha an arc and also simultaneously address yeon company’s unethical / dubious investments? HELLO#IS ANYONE LISTENING#i’m not delusional i know visty will very likely not make it through that first round. but 1nm8 winning will be for nothing#if we get the same two groups winning again#akyr and gokuluck. my life is in your hands#i’m just irritated and today was a bad day and i just need to not take things so seriously maybe#i love visty#i hope yohei had a good day today#ro talks
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