#just that now he has Extra Guilt tm because he feels like it is his responsibility that things played out that way

[admirableadmiranda]

After seeing a horribly misguided take on the ambush of Wei Wuxian at Qiongqi, can you explain for the class what a canon compliant reading of that moment is like? Because I think it's so easy for someone (like me) who has read the book after seeing the webseries adaptation to get things confused. (It's hard to forget your first and The Untamed was my introduction to the story.)

Thank you!

Of course! It’s not a scene I go over too often, but let’s see if I can break it down in a satisfying way.

The setting is perhaps a year after Wei Wuxian leaves to protect the Wens. They have all been living on Corpse Mountain, doing their best to avoid the jianghu’s rage and just keep living a day at a time. There is a fragile sort of hope blossoming in that it’s been almost a year and because Corpse Mountain and Yiling are kind of cut off from the jianghu that things might be getting better because they are still alive.

Wei Wuxian receives an invitation to a party for Jin Ling. I’m genuinely not certain which party as due to the Jin being the Jin, they are throwing a lot of parties for him. It’s usually referred to as his 100 day celebration, but I think in the book it’s a month after his birth. Unlike in cql, we have no idea who delivered this letter, but it is most certainly not from Lan Wangji as we would have known if he did.

For people who are living in fragile hope, it is a good sign! Wei Wuxian buys new robes in white(!) and makes an incredibly powerful gift that will essentially protect Jin Ling from all minor spiritual evils in his life. It is a gift people would kill to have. He sets out to go to Jinlintai with only Wen Ning at his side as a show of good faith and non-aggression, but not defenseless.

On their way to Jinlintai, they are stopped in Qiongqi Path when someone fires an arrow at Wei Wuxian that Wen Ning catches. Jin Zixun, Jin Zixuan’s less likeable toad of a cousin, comes out and tells Wei Wuxian that he’s surrounded by three hundred archers and demands for Wei Wuxian to remove a curse that he’s put on him.

Now we know later that it was actually Su She that cursed Jin Zixun for being an arrogant toe rag and that Jin Guangyao likely knew this as they were buddies at the time already, but he has told Jin Zixun that it was Wei Wuxian and due to the rumors flying around about him, he wholeheartedly believes it. He refuses to listen to Wei Wuxian and refuses to accept even the burden of proof in that Wei Wuxian has no markings of the backfire from such a powerful curse because obviously, being Wei Wuxian, he could just make them hit someone else, right?!

Jin Zixun is very much not a smart man. Anyway, Wei Wuxian is preparing to fight here because he’s been ambushed! And to add injury to insult, this is a planned ambush where they removed all of the bodies and anything that Wei Wuxian can influence with his guidao for at least ten miles. He literally only has Wen Ning here, his only line of defense against three hundred archers and an ambush based on lies. He removes a talisman that’s designed to help suppress Wen Ning’s rage as he’s going to need all the help he can get in this stacked fight looming in front of him.

Jin Zixuan, who has heard of his cousin taking three hundred archers and going out to ambush Wei Wuxian, who he has invited to Jin Ling’s party from Jin Guangyao (none of these facts are in fact a coincidence), shows up now. To our great and unyielding disappointment, despite this clearly being an ambush on a man he invited as his guest and Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning being two people against an army of three hundred, takes his cousin’s side. He demands for Wei Wuxian to stand down, he tells him that he’ll be tried at Jinlintai and basically ignores everything about the situation that points out that his family may not be in the right on this. Jin Zixun crushes the bell that was meant to be a present for Jin Ling beneath his foot.

At some point while he and Wei Wuxian are arguing, he draws his sword and starts to lunge at Wei Wuxian, a war veteran. Faced with sudden, escalating hostility, Wei Wuxian reacts on instinct and commands Wen Ning to stop Jin Zixuan from attacking him. Wen Ning does. Fatally.

Now this is not what Wei Wuxian wanted at all and it is a loss of control, but also how many stories have we heard in real life about people with strong triggers associated with being attacked having someone approach them in an obviously aggressive way and react on instinct? Wei Wuxian had no reason to believe that Jin Zixuan wasn’t a part of this whole mess from the beginning, and while later clarity of mind and Jin Zixuan’s last words give him some indication that it wasn’t planned, at that very moment he was reacting to an escalating threat.

The real loss of control comes when he sees what has happened, Jin Zixuan dying on Wen Ning’s arm in front of everyone. After a year of living and waiting for the hammer to fall, that cautious hope that an invitation to his shijie’s son’s month birthday party might mean that they’re not inevitably doomed and then the utter betrayal of the ambush and Jin Zixuan’s actions, he loses control and Wen Ning kills everyone in Qiongqi Path before carrying a nigh-catatonic Wei Wuxian back to the safety of Corpse Mountain.

It is a tragedy in all senses of the word. It gives the Jin exactly what they need to rile up dissent against Wei Wuxian into actual action. It gives them a concrete action to point too. Jin Zixuan’s invitation to Wei Wuxian was well known, so it wrecks what remains of his reputation and at this point no matter what Wei Wuxian or anyone else does, the people living in Corpse Mountain are doomed.

Qiongqi Path 2.0 is basically the ultimate machination of the Jin and the collapse of what little stability Wei Wuxian had left in his first life. Less than a week after this, Wen Qing will be dead and Wen Ning heavily implied to be manipulated into killing the Nie and Lan cultivators who came to see their executions; when they were promised by Jin Guangshan that if they turned themselves in, he and the others would leave the people on corpse mountain alone. What with the two clans that didn’t have an active vendetta against Wei Wuxian now dragged in by Wen Ning’s murder, it will be easy for the Jin to rally them into an army against Wei Wuxian at Nightless City and spark the final chain of events that leads to the end of Wei Wuxian’s first life.

Wei Wuxian is culpable in the extent that he lost control and killed everyone there. But given the factors in play, he is certainly not an unreasonable aggressor or reacting without cause to anything that’s going on.

Jin Zixuan has never been kind or reasonable to him once whenever they’ve met in person. As a teenager he disparages Jiang Yanli in front of him multiple times and Wei Wuxian is honorbound to defend her from the societal impact of Jin Zixuan’s careless words. As adults, Jin Zixuan tells Jiang Cheng to control his servant in Wei Wuxian’s face when he continues to defend Jiang Yanli from a man who has at that point still shown her no respect or care in the slightest. They have a terrible relationship and one that while equally hostile from both ends, is more built off of Jin Zixuan’s actions than Wei Wuxian’s. We can even see that in the Xuanwu Cave that Wei Wuxian admires his willingness to stand up for Mianmian when the Wen are going for her.

The fact of the matter is, is that Jin Zixuan had a history of deliberately antagonizing Wei Wuxian and also taking his first interpretation of a series of events as truth and refusing to listen to contradictory evidence. He gets away with it for a number of years due to his prestige and position, but eventually he takes that childish attitude onto a battlefront, and it gets him killed.

There may be no second flute user at Qiongqi Path in the book and the blood is on Wei Wuxian’s hands. But to claim that it is his fault and that he was responsible for things going wrong is a very bad take indeed.

A canon compliant take on Qiongqi Path is that it is the ultimate chess move of the Jin against him, where in the end Jin Guangyao sacrifices a rook and takes Wei Wuxian’s last defending pieces before using him as the utter scapegoat of the jianghu in his and the Jin Clan’s rise to power. And also a reminder that if you continue to push people to their limits and treat them badly constantly, eventually they will have nothing left in which to treat you well.

I hope this helps!

[writerfae]

Hi! Want some more sad Ákos facts for Aiden to chew on? (I swear to god the kid's fine. He just has his moments XD They can trade books with Henry for fluff)

Ákos has a lot of difficult, complex reactions to what happened to him. They are usually messy, convoluted ever-changing that's why they're hard to talk about all at once. This is on purpose because Ákos is also having a hard time deciphering his feelings.

You already know the going blank thing.

Now get ready for: The misplaced guilt!

Ahh! Aiden, stop shooting me or I'll show you the bad end au, I swear to god!

The other characters know about it, and the will keep telling Ákos it was not his fault until he understands.

He feels guilty for two reasons:

First because kids are just more likely to blame themselves for the things that happen to them.

Secondly, Ákos has been told many times to be careful or his curiosity will get him into trouble. He wanted to listen to these warnings, he tried to be careful, but... can you imagine you want to walk on a frozen lake and at first you're testing out if the ice is thick enough, then you slowly get more confident? That's what Ákos was doing, even if his tests weren't really careful, because he just wanted to get to the good part. And until now whatever interesting thing he found was worth the risk. This time it wasn't. Ákos found a secret drawer with a secret book and he was so excited, then so scared.

And in his head he can't make sense of the fact that:

"You need to be just a little more careful"

Is a statement that coexists with:

"It wasn't your fault"

Because all Ákos can think is, "if hadn't looked into that drawer none of this would have happened" which is true, but it still doesn't mean that it was his fault! I could write an essay on this but I don't think I have to convince you, Aiden or anyone that it wasn't Ákos' fault! Noone thinks that, but him! NOT EVEN ODETTE!

This is made worse by the fact that Odette helped everyone with all sorts of things, but now she can't and they have to get used to it. And every time Ákos sees Endre struggling with his duties (that Odette helped with), or Adél being extra anxious (that she also helped with) all he can think is: if it wasn't for me she could still help them.

ON TOP OF ALL THIS: Before she pushed him off into the swamp, Odett hugged him and said sorry. Can you imagine how confusing that'd be for a kid after the fact?

Ákos: I mean, I'm not really mad at her, because in hindsight it makes sense that she would retaliate when I didn't want to keep her secret. And even if I were mad she said she was sorry, and it all worked out in the end, so I can't be mad at her, right?

Oh, sweet summer child!

Have fun with this, Aiden! Love you!

Aiden can’t answer right now cause he suddenly needed to sharpen his hunting knife for some reason definitely unrelated to this

Honestly though it is so sad that Ákos blames himself.

The worst thing is I do kind of get it, if I was taught that I should be less curious so I won’t get in situations TM and then this exact thing I was warned about happened, I’d blame myself too probably.

What’s even worse I think is that he blames himself but not Odette, the only person who truly was responsible for the situation.

No one thinks it’s your fault you poor child. Let Aiden give you a hug

[goddessofroyalty]

So seeing you mentioned Arcane omegaverse and miscarriages - what if omega Viktor collapsed in canon because of a miscarriage of Jayce's child he didn't realise he was carrying instead of the coughing disease. Jayce still being with Mel when it happens - how much more would he regret it?

I do like how we can throw this at him (hell could throw a level of going septic from it) and still be being nicer than what the canon is. Like this is fairly unlikely to be terminal (although I mean could always combine both the canon sickness and this for extra suffering).

I do think I like the idea of Viktor not knowing about the pregnancy just because of that complicated suprise it results in. You know the kind of regret for not having known so he wasn't being careful but also being told nothing would have likely changed it so if he had of known he would have had it on his mind for however long only to have it to not amount to anything anyway.

Either way though Viktor just wants to get back to his work and is very frustrated at those who keep telling him to rest. He also is pretty dismissive about the expectation he be broken up about it. He often has conversations that basically invovle him going "yes it is a sad thing to happen now -onto the topic he actually wants to talk about-".

Jayce meanwhile is... struggling. No matter what their relationship was (as in how much it was a Relationship(TM) vs how much it was just Friends-with-benefits territory) there kind of isn't a way to not feel like a massive asshole in his situation. And it doesn't help that to him Viktor is deflecting any conversation about it and keeps brushing off Jayce's apologies all while refusing to rest.

Jayce is also immediately pushing Mel away. Again it doesn't matter what his and Viktor's relationship is he feels so guilty and while probably doesn't blame Mel (assuming she doesn't pick up the idiot ball and say something stupid) it immediately sours any romantic/sexual feelings he has towards her because they're now kind of associated with his guilt about the siutation. Like he already felt kind of guilty in canon and he's... at least slightly responsible for the Viktor ending up in the situation here.

Honestly there's no way way the situation is resolving without an argument between Jayce and Viktor. Which really could go either productively or really not entirely depending on if they actually listen to each other or just kind of... vent their guilt/frustration at the situation.

[mexcraziness]

Journey to the West - Regret AU

Warning: Mentioned Charachter Death

Okay, so the first week of 2021 had been hell at work, so let me share a little AU concept that has kept me alive for the past 10 days:

So I’m currently reading Journey to the West, so this AU will update as I’m making progress with the book.

SO, you guys know that scene in the book when Sanzang tricks Wukong into putting on the circlet and tortures him for the first time, and the moment he turns his back Wukong tries to kill him from behind.

Well, what if… Sanzang doesn’t react fast enough and Wukong DOES manage to kill him?

It takes Wukong about 5 seconds to realise what he’s done and pretty soon The Regret TM sets in, because, sure, as far as he’s concerned Sanzang deserved it, but he also royally fucked himself over in the process. So, considering the Buddha and Heaven are bound to find out eventually, and running away didn’t work out so well the first time, he decides to do and complete the Journey himself, and try to figure out how to save his own skin on the way.

He still meets the White Dragon Horse, Pigsy and Sandy on the way. He fights them all the same, except this time he’s not really in a hurry, so he takes more time to talk to them. Through this they each realise Wukong is on the Journey they’re supposed to be joining as well. So naturally they’ll ask where’s the monk they’re supposed to be escorting? And Wukong will be just sweating there and lie through his teeth, that they must have misunderstood Guanyin, they’ll actually meet the monk later on the way!

And well, he’s not wrong, you see where I’m going with this, the Journey to the West takes 14 years in the book, possibly more in this AU since Wukong isn’t really in a hurry, and Reincarnation takes 49 DAYS.

So what I’m saying, a couple of years later on the Journey they’ll run into this kid, who Wukong recognises as Sanzang’s reincarnation right away and Loses. His. Shit. And Pigsy and the others soon realise something is really, really wrong. So naturally Wukong will be like "oh shit this is great you're coming with us kid : D" and he'll just fucking snatch him to take to the Buddha to be like "SEE, it's technically him : D", or at least that’s his best plan to save himself so far. Of course the kid (unnamed for now, but they’ll probably call him Young Master, because *technically* he’s Sanzang, or used to be) won’t exactly be thrilled to just be kidnapped by a bunch of demons, so he’ll fight them literally every step of the way. Which will of course lead to him constantly clashing with Wukong, who’s going to go through a whole new type of Life Crisis TM in the middle of this.

He’ll actually fear for his life through the whole time, probably for the first time in his life. After all he JUST got out from under the Mountain after 500 years, and not even 2 months later he did the WORST possible thing he could have done and ruined his one real chance at ””” redemption””” (or rather that he was promised). So he’ll just be constantly Stressed and Anxiety Extra, especially trying to keep up the lie to Pigsy and the others, and the occasional Gods they come across, meanwhile trying to come up with a way to save himself, add Young-Reincarnated-Sanzang to the mix. and he’ll just have a meltdown.

So, Wukong and the gang had kidnapped the kid. They’ve been travelling for a while, they almost start getting along, until one day Guanyin shows up, because she hadn’t heard from Wukong for a couple of years and she’s getting suspicious. So she pops in for a visit and she sees them with this random kid with Sanzang nowhere in sight, and basically it all goes to shit.

Of course later down the line Wukong will grow soft on Young-Reincarnated-Sanzang, which will make him face his Regret and Guilt (that he actually has, surprise) over killing Sanzang in the first place. There’s going to be reconciliation, feels, and of course some sort of happy ending down the line after some big sad big feels.

This is pretty much what I have so far, I plan to draw some doodles for this later (I say this as I’m about to go on hiatus because of my portfolio), and like I said this AU will develop as I’m reading the book!

[ebbatriestowrite]

ok ok ok so I KNOW I'm projecting

But remember when nicky gets shot in the head? What if the brain is too delicate and even though the healing made him alive it wasn't able to fully heal it and he winds up with brain damage.

It takes him five years to be able to talk again without a massive stutter. And even then if he is physically and mentally stressed he "loses his words"

The team doesn't know because nicky was considered the quiet one. And they are so preoccupied by THE BOOKER THING TM

Joe and nicky go to malta to heal and after a year Nicky is able to speak with only Joe, anyone else and his words float away. And even when talking to Joe sometimes the most innocuous words leave his head like "bread" and "doors" leading to frustrating charades

This is one of the reasons that Joe pushed for 100 years. Nicky was in denial and thought it would clear up. After its clear that it won't just clear up in a few days Nicky has bad days where he's angry at Booker for being the reason they were there and wishes he was gone for longer, angry at the world for being so shitty, and angry at himself for not being able to do something as simple as forming words. He's embarrassed and it makes him feel weak so he doesn't want anyone to know.

The team meets back up after a year and a half because Andy is mortal and they don't want to waste too much time. It takes Andy three weeks to say "ok what the HELL is wrong with you?? I get that your quiet but silent treatment really????"

Nicky whispers to Joe to explain and he does. Andys face shuts down and she walks out (she's going to go punch things cause she's mad that he little brother was actually seriously hurt, and she's angry that they didn't tell her but she also understands)

It takes six months before he can talk to Andy and another six months before he can speak to Nile. Once he can reliably talk to every team member they start to go on missions again. (but he still has bad days where he can't speak to ANYONE not even Joe, but Joe has known him long enough that half syllables and gestures are entire conversations Joe affectionately refers to himself as Nicky's translator)

Nile and nicky go out to a restaurant while out on the town and nicky whispers his order to Nile to order his food for him. The waitress gets mad and insists that nicky "not be rude" and tell her his order himself or he won't be served . Nicky deflates and moves to leave but Nile stops him and explains VERY TERSLEY that her brother has brain damage and physically can NOT speak to people he isn't extremley close with and it's a shitty thing to do to make him speak even if he had just been shy. They leave the restaurant and go get hot dogs form a cart.

One day Nicky gets captured and just laughs when they try to get info out of him because he couldn't tell them if he WANTED TO and he sure as hell doesn't want to.

After the hundred years is up Booker rejoins the team, and they don't think to mention Nicky's brain damage because it's just part of him now, they are so used to it.

One day Nicky comes down to breakfast opens his mouth and nothing comes out so he just gestures to what he wants and everything is good.

Halfway through the day Booker explodes "I SERVED MY TIME ITS BEEN A HUNDRED YESRS WHATS WITH THE SILENT TREATMENT"

everyone FREEZES and nicky punches Booker in the face, grabs a book, and gives Joe a meaningful look and a shrug that means "tell him if you want habibi I'm not gonna be here"

Booker is horrified, he thought that them being immortal meant that nothing could touch them. He now has to deal with extra guilt that Nicky's brain is permanently messed up because of his actions

-A

Oh ouch!! God that whole thing would be so unexpected for everyone but I love the idea that Joe and Nicky don’t really need words to communicate with each other and that the others are quick to catch on to that type of communication 🥺 and daaamn the anger Nicky (and the others) would have towards Booker would be immense and very understandable 💔 they’ll get through it though cause they family even if mr. Baguette man is a dumb dumb that unintentionally caused mr. Pasta man some brain damage

[frutavel]

tell us about Zantari, king (favorite thing about them???)

YOU

YOU HAVE OPENED THE FLOODGATES

Zantari, the Pathfinder, Mahamba's chosen, my main man, the one and only Tari Rosetusk.

My favorite thing about him is everything. He's my main for a reason!

His history as a character is a huge mess, but to sum it up - he started as an alter ego for another character, and ended up becoming his own thing. He gave me (and still gives) many headaches over the years, but in the end I managed to turn him into something solid that gives me the UwUs.

Today's Tari is a horrifying amalgamation of everything I love. He's a chill, sleepy dude with an unbreakable devotion to what he believes in, an undying passion for what he holds dear, and who's shamelessly in love with life, no matter how bad it gets. He looks like just another hippie and he kinda is, but he has a handful of secrets that set him apart.

Tari is wholly himself, and he's also whatever other people see him as - the weird plant dude, the crazy crocolisk guy, the sleepy man you can stumble upon in the woods, the terrifying hunter. They're a part of him, and he defines the whole on his own terms. He's just a little creetchur, he cannot change this.

He's not flawless, but nobody is. He could be a little more trusting towards others, he could work on his honesty politics, he could improve his communication skills, but patience. He can't fix all his flaws overnight, and he doesn't expect anyone else to.

He doesn't expect anything of anyone, and he doesn't trust them to come through for him, so he usually ends up alone.

Under all those good vibes he's hiding tons and tons of anger, guilt, and most of all regret. He has his coping mechanisms to deal with all of those, he can manage them pretty well on his own, and in the off case that he can't...

Well, if he goes deep enough into the nearest woods there'll be no one around to worry hear him screaming.

They won't even notice he's gone.

One of his favorite things in the world is food. He's a bottomless pit and he'll eat literally anything you give him no matter how weird it is. Tari likes cooking himself, and he's pretty decent at it! He specially likes spicy foods, and pandaren cuisine has a very, very special place in his heart. However, his all time favorite snack is moss. Readily available almost everywhere, easy to collect, and (he says) tasty like nothing else. Plus, it's extra hydration (drink your water).

He's also a huge fan of fruit, especially the extra juicy ones like mango. He makes a mess everytime but at least he has fun!

Tari also sleeps a lot, but he has no sleep schedule. He will just take a 12 hour nap and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to do crime. He has a habit of falling asleep everywhere, especially on tree tops.

Currently he mostly falls asleep in his own little house, which he shares with Zai, my zandalari druid and his partner. He loves her more than anything else, more than his pets, more than food, more than himself. The feeling is mutual :)

He strings up little charms on trees he napped on, nobody really knows it they're magic or not or why he does it. He makes the charms himself! He has 4 crocolisks and they all shed a lot of teeth, plus his teroclaw is in the middle of shedding his baby feathers so he even has some extra flair to it. All he needs is to tweak some twigs into funny shapes, shove shiny rocks, the teeth and the feathers on them and it's ready to go. His and Zai's house is also full of these little charms (and plants, because Zai adores plants and so does he. Their home is almost a mini jungle)

His theme song is Toes , which is also one of my all time favorites. He has other songs that fit his vibe, because we all do, but this one is the perfect feeling for Tari.

Tari is an artistic soul, he loves to create. Other than the charms he also likes drawing, especially plants and flowers. When he's around people long enough he'll draw them too. He has a little sketchbook he adds pages to whenever they start running out, the thing's thicker than his arm by now and keeps growing. He likes drawing from life but he doesn't stress too much about it, art is a pastime that's supposed to be fun (this is a callout to myself)

He also plays the guitar and he has a pretty nice singing voice! He learned it from his dad, one of his fondest childhood memories is sitting by the fire with his siblings while their dad sung them a lullaby.

He has no voiceclaim as of today, but it's okay. Tari is not much of a talker, he'd much rather let someone else speak for him.

I have so much more to say about my boy, but this is long enough as is. I finish reminding everyone of how much I love Zantari and that I am 100% feral for him. He's my prodigy.

No doodles to accompany this ask because talking aboht Tari awakens such powerful feelings within my little heart I am working on a full illustration to go with it. He deserves it.

Thank you so very much for asking! Here's a chibi art of Tari and Zai while we wait for the bigger picture :D

(Please note: Very Old Art tm)

[oldlady-of-chibs-and-jax]

Jax Teller imagine

This is my first time writing something like this so please forgive me for the crappy writing. I just really wanted to get something out there.

Prompt: Y/N has planned a nice night for Jax and he completely forgets about it.

(GIF not mine, credits to its creator)

You and Jax have been together for about a two years now. At around 6 months you moved in with him and after a year he gave you his crow and you became his old lady.

Right now you’re pacing the kitchen waiting for him to get home from TM. You had made a nice dinner and even dressed up to impress him. You had a surprise for him. He said he’d be home by 8, it’s currently 9 and you’re getting worried and upset and the food is getting cold.

“Calm down Y/N. Everything is fine. I’m sure he just forgot or something” You try and convince yourself as you walk to the living room and throw yourself on the couch. Blindly reaching for the remote, you turn on some random channel to fill the silence in the house.

Maybe you could convince Jax into letting you get a dog so it’s not so lonely when he’s gone.

Wiping a tear away you check your phone one last time. The food is still sitting untouched on the table and all hope of Jackson coming home is gone. It’s almost midnight and your eye lids are getting too heavy to stay open. As you finally succumb to the darkness you faintly hear the rumble of Jax’s motorcycle pulling into the driveway.

————————————————

Jax’s day had been hectic. The Mayans were giving us some shit and there was an extra long church discussing solutions.

Clay decided everyone could use a drink after the long session so all the sons kicked back and drank a few. Soon enough everyone started heading back to the dorms.

They all bid their good nights and headed their separate ways.

Grabbing a cig out of his pocket, Jax light it and headed outside to his bike and started to make his way home.

Pulling into the familiar driveway He park beside Y/N’s car. All the lights are off so he figured that you were already asleep.

As silently as he could, Jax opened and closed the front door and locked it again after he was inside. He quickly took off his shoes and headed into the house.

Jax walked into the living room and saw you fast asleep on the couch. You were still wearing the dress that you Jax loved to take off.

“Shit! Y/N said she wanted me home because she had a surprise for me” Jax quickly remembered Y/N specifically asking him what time he would be home today and then saying “you better be on time Mr. Teller because I have a surprise for you.” Sending a wink his way.

Glancing into the kitchen he saw the food sitting on the table, both plates untouched. “Dammit! I really screwed up” he exclaimed to himself.

————————————————

Jax walked back into the living room and knelt on the floor before you. He saw your tear streaked cheeks and it made him feel all the more guilty.

He gently scooped you into his arms and began carrying you down the hall into your shared bedroom.

You began to stir and your eyes fluttered open. You realized that Jax was the one carrying you and you couldn’t help the tears from falling.

Squirming, you tried to get out of his arms. Jax sat you down but still held onto you.

“Y/N, I am so sorry. I completely forg-“ Jax began apologizing to you but you stuck your hand up asking he to stop.

Your gaze held the floor. “I made your favorite dinner and wore your favorite dress. I sat on the couch and waited for hours Jax. You never came.” You were too tried to yell at him but your disappointment was still very evident in your words.

Jax grabbed your chin between him finger and thumb and turned your head to face him. For the first time tonight you looked him in the eyes. You say the guilt swarming in them but it still didn’t make up for the fact that he hurt you.

“Y/N, I am so sorry I upset you baby. Today was crazy and-“ You didn’t want to hear it.

You skipped out of his arms and continued to your room. Once you reached the door you turned back towards Jax. He was still standing in the hall.

“Oh, I forgot to mention I even made you your favorite cake. While you’re sleeping on the couch tonight you can go check it out.” With that you closed the door on him and climbed into bed, alone.

Jax ran his hand down his face and hung his head in shame. He had really messed up tonight. You’ve never made him sleep on the couch before.

He made his way to kitchen and went to the dodge to grab a beer. When he opened the door he saw the cake you had made. As soon as he saw it he knew exactly why Y/N had been so upset. On the top, written in cursive, was the sentence “You’re gonna be a daddy!”

Jax couldn’t believe his eyes. “Holy shit! I’m going to be a father!” He was overjoyed and he realized he had to completely make it up to you for ruining the night you had planned.

[muffinsnotebook]

Mac n Cheese Pt. 2

crossposted on ao3.  

pt. 1 pt. 3

[screams: FINALLY!!!]

Chapter 2: Cupcakes and Kimchi

When Kim Seokjin had graduated from culinary school at the top of his class, complete with recommendations from the chef he’d trained under at the restaurant (and a spot at said restaurant), Namjoon, then his best friend (and secretly long-time crush), had given him this high quality, absolutely beautiful, 7-piece knife set made of carbon stainless steel alloy for his graduation gift.

On their first anniversary as a couple, Namjoon gifts him a leather knife carrier bag for it. The next day, they receive an email congratulating them on their first Michelin star.

Seokjin makes sure to maintain them properly, puts them in a polished cherry wood block, placed by the corner next to the small hook where he hangs his aprons - one in pastel pink, one in chocolate brown. After he’d gotten back from the hospital and put the boys to sleep, he’d taken them all out of the leather bag and cleaned them meticulously, storing them back in the wooden block.

With all the stress and grief he's had to grappled with for the past few days, adding on the fact that he now has a three-week leave (for the first time since…never), he inevitably forgets about them being of easy access on his granite counter.

Until he stumbles into the kitchen to see Taehyung wielding about his extra sharp, high-carbon stainless steel 8 inch chef’s knife on top of the kitchen island.

“Ban…KAI!” The seven year old yells, swinging the knife about with two hands. Seokjin promptly gets a heart attack.

“Kim Taehyung, what are you doing?!” He whisper-yells, just barely remembering he’d just put Jeongguk to sleep for the afternoon.

Taehyung turns to him, then grins excitedly, brandishing the chef knife like a samurai. “I’m a reaper from BLEACH! This is my ban…KAI!” He swings again in a wide downward arc.

“Taehyungie, that’s not a toy; that’s a real knife - you could hurt yourself with that.” Seokjin says slowly, carefully making his way to the younger boy. “Can you please give that back? You didn’t even ask permission from me if you could borrow it.”

The elder inwardly congratulated himself for sounding steady and calm despite feeling a nanometer away from fainting. Predictably, the young boy pouts as he lowers his arms, and reluctantly allows Seokjin to take it from his grasp.

“Will you please get down from the kitchen island before you trip and hit your head?” Seokjin pleads as he puts back his knife in the block, and hefts the heavy wood up onto a cabinet, far from their reach.

Taehyung complies with a disappointed whine. “Uncle Jin is no fun at all.” He pouts, then stomps off into the living room.

And Seokjin is indignant, because excuse you, I am a ton of fun! and because yah! That’s the second time you’ve insulted me, Kim Taehyung!

“Excuse you? I am so very much full of fun!” He hollers after the boy. “Like, tons of fun! You simply don’t appreciate my sense of humor!”

“No thanks, Uncle Jin, I like your food better.” Taehyung replies as he wraps his arms around Jimin instead, who’s watching some cartoon on the TV. The compliment to his cooking is rather backhanded, and Seokjin isn’t mollified one bit.

“You don’t believe me? You haven’t even heard me tell you a joke! I’ll have you know, that I know plenty of jokes! In fact, my handsome face is a--“

“Joke!”

“AH kkamjjagiya!” Seokjin whirls around, on the brink of a heart attack once more, because Jeongguk - whom he could’ve sworn he’d just put to sleep - is sitting on the couch, wide awake, and repeating “joke! joke!” gleefully.

Jimin and Taehyung burst into raucous laughter. Seokjin glowers to no avail, as Jeongguk only laughs along with his brothers.

"I can't decide who was funnier - Ggukie or Uncle Jin!" Taehyung gasps, tears leaking from his eyes. Okay that's a bit too much now, Seokjin thinks sulkily.

Jimin proves him wrong. "Both?"

It’s the first time Kim Seokjin considers that he may have just adopted the three most savage children in the entire world. He considers it for a moment - just a tiny moment.

After all, children change, don’t they? Surely, surely, they’ll come around and love him too much to slay him like this…? Aren't they even too young to slay people like this...?

“See? I am a lot of fun - I just made you laugh, didn’t I?” Seokjin tries to brush it off - because they’re children, and their laughter has been scarce and far too precious these past few weeks.

Jimin shakes his head. “Uh-uh. That wasn’t you - that was Jeonggukie’s joke! Uncle Jin was just the butt of the joke.”

Savages. Savages, the lot of them.

.

.

.

“So how have the kids been, hyung?” Hoseok’s cheerful voice filters in through the receiver with a slight crackle. Seokjin heaves a tired sigh, as he slumps on his couch.

“Ah, it’s been tiring! It’s like they never run out of energy!” Seokjin whines halfheartedly. “They’re sleeping now - thank god, I thought they’d never sleep. Taehyungie and Ggukie wouldn’t stop jumping all over the bed - I was so scared one of them was going to fall off and hit their heads!”

“These kids sound fun,” Hoseok laughs.

“It’s not funny!” Seokjin huffs. “Taehyung even managed to get a hold of my chef knife and started swinging it around on top of the kitchen island! I swear to god, I’m going to have a heart attack one of these days. Wait - I think I see a gray hair on my head.”

“So dramatic, hyung,” Hoseok replies, still laughing. Jerk - not even a hint of sympathy. “You’re not even that old - heck, you’re not even 30!”

And Seokjin isn’t. Seokjin is twenty-six, fairly young for an executive chef, and part owner, of a restaurant on the outskirts of Cheongdam, and in all honesty, is pretty much a child at heart still. He’s been a maknae for most of his life, having been born late in the year among his peers; and even with his dongsaengs, he’s never been fussy beyond honorifics and basic courtesy - partly because the dongsaengs he’s close with are pretty much set with their own lives, and don’t often ask him for advice, so much as a listening ear.

Obviously, his newest dongsaengs - his nephews! - will require more care and attention than a bunch of self sufficient young adults. Seokjin isn’t confident he can actually pull off being a decent hyung, let alone a responsible guardian to toddlers.

But a quitter is the last thing Seokjin is. And when the going gets tough, he toughens himself up even more.

They called him a disgusting faggot when he came out, and then later on again, for falling head over heels for Namjoon. But Seokjin looks in the mirror every day, and sees a handsome face staring back - which, he believes only gets more handsome when juxtaposed beside Namjoon’s dimpled smile. So be it if he's a faggot; he’s pretty sure he’s one of the most handsome faggots in the whole of fucking Asia, if not the whole world - the modeling gigs that kept coming even after he officially quit are testament to his attractiveness.

They called him a failure for dropping a business degree in favor of culinary arts. Seokjin had worked his ass off in culinary school, shamelessly asking the kind chefs at the Gangnam restaurant he worked at for cooking tips. Now his restaurant is the talk of the town; and they’re on the running for their second Michelin Star - if the food inspectors haven’t dropped by already.

Namjoon had told him he’s the type who blooms the most in adversity. Seokjin may not know a thing about child rearing, but he’ll be damned if he didn’t become the best uncle-hyung-parent-guardian for Jimin, Taehyung and Jeongguk.

He’ll be patient, and kind, and fun, and wise, and loving, like the perfect hyung-uncle there ever could be.

…It’s easier said than done, however.

In fact, it’s infinitely difficult to even spell patience when Jeongguk sitting on the hardwood floor of the living room, drawing colorful flowers and stars on the back of his white. leather. couch.

Using permanent. neon colored. pens.

“Kim Jeongguk!” He shrieks, his ears, and neck hot with anger. The four year old jumps, dropping his colored pens as he turns to Seokjin with huge, dark eyes, getting shinier and shinier with unshed tears, lips wobbling and hands trembling.

Uh oh.

The hot rage that had filled him not even three seconds ago evaporates just as fast, replaced with heavy stabs of guilt. Goddammit, he didn’t even do anything wrong! A juvenile part of Seokjin wants to stomp and pout, because his beautiful, white leather couch, and Jeongguk was the one in the wrong!

Instead, Seokjin sinks to a crouch, tugging Jeongguk gently but firmly in front of him.

He takes a deep calming breath through his nose, and scrunches his face into the stern, calm mask he wears in front of new kitchen staff. It takes everything in him to maintain it for more than a few seconds when big, fat teardrops trickle down Jeongguk’s cheeks.

“Jeonggukie, the couch is where people sit. It’s not meant for drawing on flowers and stars. We don’t draw or paint on couches, okay?” And in a perfect world, Jeongguk would nod at his words, and apologize, and Seokjin would give him a kiss on the cheek, and they’d go on with their lives peacefully.

But it is not a perfect world, and instead, Jeongguk only begins to wail loudly, summoning his older brothers into the room.

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung asks, stopping just shy of the Scene of the CrimeTM, looking between his uncle and his younger brother. Jeongguk, spotting his hyungs, ducks beneath Seokjin’s grasp and runs to Jimin, wailing, “hyungie!”

“What’s wrong, Ggukie?” Jimin asks, his short arms wrapping protectively around his younger brother. He shoots an accusatory look at his uncle, and Seokjin thinks he would’ve found the whole concept of it cute, if he weren’t the (very wrongfully accused!) receiver of it. As it is, Jimin’s look makes Seokjin feel as though he’s Mother Gothel incarnate.

“I was just telling Jeonggukie that the couch isn’t for drawing on,” Seokjin says defensively. “Drawings and paintings are best on paper, so we can put them in frames and hang them on the walls for everyone to see!”

He calls Jeongguk to look at him, who only does so with a little coaxing from Jimin. “Ggukie, next time you want to draw, just ask me for paper, okay? I’m not asking you to stop drawing, but I just want you to do it on the right materials. Furniture is not one of them.”

“…mm’kay,” Jeongguk eventually nods, pout still in place.

“That goes for all of you, okay?” Seokjin says, looking pointedly at Taehyung, who had grabbed the yellow marker to fill in the wriggly star shape Jeongguk had drawn. He straightens up with a start, immediately stuffing the pen behind his back.

“Yes Uncle Jin, I promise!” He grins, glances at his work, then adds, “I won’t do it again next time.”

Seokjin stares at him unimpressed, then sighs in defeat. “Right, so before this whole thing happened, I was about to ask you guys to help me decorate some cupcakes in the kitchen--“

“Cupcakes!?!” The three boys look at each other wide-eyed and mouths agape. Seokjin blinks, and they’re gone, shoving past each other as they race into the kitchen.

“Hey, wait for me! And don’t touch anything yet!”

Of course, by the time he gets there, the warning is too late, and the kids are already half covered in the blue-green icing he’d prepared while they had been napping. The three are kneeling on the barstools on the kitchen island, frosting each other’s hands and face.

“I see you found the buttercream,” Seokjin says wryly. Taehyung promptly aims the half-filled piping bag at his face and squeezes.

Seokjin tries to yell indignantly but only ends up with a mouthful of buttercream frosting. He hears Jeongguk cackling heartily - the sound is positively evil and contagious for such a cute child. Jimin swipes his thumb at his cheek to taste.

“What do you think? Tasty?” Seokjin asks, swiping at the blob on Jimin’s nose to do the same.

“It’s delicious!”

“Dewishoos!” Jeongguk echoes again with a giggle, sucking at the frosting on his knuckles.

“Good,” Seokjin takes out another piping bag - full of pink frosting, this time - from the fridge, pulling the tray of warm, freshly baked cupcakes closer to them. “Now, how about we actually put the frosting on the cupcakes?”

.

.

.

Despite Seokjin’s efforts, none of the frosting actually gets on any of the cupcakes.

“It’s cute,” Namjoon says as he takes in the photo on Seokjin’s phone. He’d come over straight from closing up the restaurant. “So cute.”

In the photo, Jeongguk is sat between his hyungs, cheeks stuffed to bursting, with crumbs of cupcake and frosting and sprinkles - yes, they’d found the sprinkles, too - smeared across his forehead and cheeks, and even some on his hair. Taehyung is on his left, triumphantly holding up the deflated piping bag, covered with even more frosting and sprinkles. Jimin is on the right, smiling close-lipped, with just a hint of the dimples below his eyes peeking through, holding on to a half eaten cupcake (his fifth, that time).

The kitchen island in front of them lies in a colorful carnage - blue-green and pink buttercream frosting everywhere, piles of rainbow sprinkles here and there (a small mound of red ones in front of Jeongguk), and cupcake bits and crumbs everywhere else.

The rest of the kitchen, and his phone notwithstanding. Seokjin, however, thinks getting buttercream all over his phone screen is worth capturing the ‘kodak moment’.

“Yes, well, the mess isn’t so cute.” Seokjin replies dryly, though his expression remains soft. Namjoon chuckles with a sympathetic smile, moving to knead at the knot of muscle on Seokjin’s shoulder. Like magic, the elder sags under his hand, letting out a drawn out sigh.

“Want me to help you clean up?” Because it really isn’t a matter of need, so much as whether Seokjin actually wants Namjoon in his kitchen. Even Namjoon wouldn’t let himself in his own kitchen for anything more than pouring hot water in his instant ramyeon.

Seokjin hums, debating the pros and cons of letting Namjoon into his kitchen.

“I can stick to rags and gathering the trash,” Namjoon offers and Seokjin acquiesces. It’ll take him hours to clean up everything by himself, and the kids have worn him out for the day. It’s late at night, and Seokjin’s just managed to clean up the rest of the apartment after cleaning up and putting the kids to sleep. To say that he’s exhausted is a huge understatement.

“Yes, please.”

Despite handling most of the logistics and other managerial paperwork involved in running a restaurant, Namjoon knows his way around the kitchen - “his way around” being mostly how-to-clean (The Namjoon EditionTM) and what-can-be-cleaned (The Namjoon 2nd EditionTM) and where-stuff-are (What To Avoid, The Namjoon Special EditionTM). It’s the only reason he gets allowed in the kitchen.

Quietly, the two make their way into the kitchen, and Namjoon whistles at the absolute wreck lying in wait. A part of him is in disbelief that Seokjin had actually allowed this much chaos into his hallowed space. Much like the counter in the photo, the rest of the kitchen is smeared with frosting and sprinkles, with puffs of flour and splotches of batter mixed in.

It looks like a giant cupcake bomb exploded in the kitchen.

Namjoon remembers the genuine smiles on the kids’ face from the photo, and doesn't ask pointless questions.

“How are the kids?” He asks instead as he takes the rag Seokjin hands him and begins wiping down the island.

“I think Jeongguk is the least affected - but then again, he’s still pretty young.” Seokjin replies as he washes the utensils. “I’m worried about Jimin the most - he gets pretty quiet most of the time, and I always catch him dazed or lost in thought…” Seokjin trails off, then sighs.

“I just want them to not be so sad anymore, but,” He cuts himself off, biting his lips as he scrubs furiously at the imaginary stain in his mixing bowl.

“But you’re still sad about it, too,” Namjoon continues for him in a quiet voice. He watches in mute sympathy when Seokjin’s shoulders slump, his hands dropping the bowl to grip on the edge of the sink instead.

His sobs are but quiet sniffles, shoulders quivering as even then he tries to stifle them. Namjoon silently wraps himself around him - careful not to catch his own soapy hands on Seokjin’s shirt - and tucks his chin over Seokjin’s shoulder.

Seokjin doesn’t cry louder or harder, nor does he stop. But he lets his back rest against the warmth of Namjoon’s chest, quietly accepts his comfort, his support, trusting him to catch the pieces of himself he can’t hold on his own.

“I miss him,” Seokjin confesses painfully, “I miss him so bad, Joonie.”

Namjoon recalls only about less than a handful of other instances when Seokjin has fallen apart like this, when Namjoon has to be there to catch the tiny shards that manage to escape the elder’s tight grasp. When Namjoon has to be the one to whisper the words of positivity and comfort that otherwise fell from Seokjin’s lips on a daily basis.

Namjoon is usually the one who falls apart more often, the one who goes to Seokjin, to let his hyung gather the pieces of himself after he’s ripped himself apart from thinking too much, from scrutinizing his own reflection to the point of self-loathing.

Even before they began dating, they had already been each other’s rock. Perhaps it’s precisely because they’ve glued the shattered pieces of themselves, both on their own, and for each other, that they can do it now with practiced ease, with lesser words, with lesser reservations. Perhaps in the process, they’ve kept tiny pieces of each other, mistakenly glued it to their own, that they now match more seamlessly, complement each other nigh effortlessly.

Yoongi had always grouched about the long time they’ve spent dancing around each other, cautiously treading, moving back and forth in their relationship before finally getting together. And sometimes, Namjoon, who overthinks too much even for two people, agrees, falls into a minor slump, allows the what-ifs to trickle in. But Seokjin, who gazes fixedly on brighter horizons, reassures, cajoles him back, saying, “Wine and cheese and kimchi, Namjoon; time only makes us better.”

Time the magician, the best cook especially in Korean cuisine, transforms, changes, often for the better, when tempered just right. Like traditional kimchi, prepared with care and attention, then left for Time to work its magic, to bring forth something to fill the stomach, to warm the heart. Like a time capsule leaving only the best parts to keep the memories aged but richer, more precious.

Seokjin remembers being young and feeling neglected by parents too immersed in the future, too detached from home. Remembers seeing a TV drama of a mother making kimchi with the rest of the family. Remembers his brother and their housekeeper - an old widow who loved them like grandchildren - making kimchi with him, traditional clay urn and all, on the kitchen floor, and burying it in garden. Remembers his own impatient fingers swiping at the leftover spicy paste, dipping scraps of cabbage and tasting, wrinkling his nose. “Doesn’t taste right.”

His brother had laughed, flicking his forehead lightly. Their housekeeper, affectionately called halmeoni, had clicked her tongue. “That’s because Time hasn’t done her part yet. The last ingredient is something only Time, the greatest cook there is, to do it’s magic. Only Time can make everything better.”

Only Time can make everything better. Can untangle webs and knots that choke the present, and even the past. Can heal, can soothe.

Eventually, they move again, go back to cleaning the sticky creams and pasty smears. Seokjin allows his mind to empty, allows himself to surrender to the peace that the mundane routine of cleaning provides. He paces himself slow and steady, never mind the lingering tears that slip and stray still.

Eventually, the kitchen is once more spotless, with less hazardous materials lying about within easy reach of tiny fingers. Some of his nicer, more fragile porcelain are stored in the upper cupboards, replaced for the sturdier plastics and child-friendly ceramics.

Namjoon lugs over the bag of fruits he’d brought from the restaurant, places it in the colorful bowl Seokjin set out on the island. Seokjin brings out a small glass jar of kimchi from the fridge and two chopsticks. Namjoon (very carefully) takes out the wine and two wineglasses, and (even more carefully) sets them on the table next to the kimchi.

It’s midnight, and the rest of the apartment is dark and silent, the world outside, muted and far away. In the kitchen, Seokjin and Namjoon eat kimchi and drink wine together, sharing memories of Seokjin’s brother.

Company, to ease the flow of Time.

.

Alone, Jimin curls up by the window, searching for the second star on the left, on top of the moon. But there is no moon tonight. And little Jimin aches, feeling left behind once more.

Taehyung breathes quietly, the space beside him where Jimin had been, too cold for sleep, and the hollow in his chest icy in the night.

Jeongguk dreams of colors and warmth, whispers, "eomma, appa," in the silent room.

-end of chapter 2-

- Miss March Muffin 

[doubleddenden]

I'm seeing people freak out over the games. I feel like doing a service. I'll make the worst pokemon game possible:

Sit through your mom's lectures and guilt trips before finally starting your adventure. What’ya mean you want to become a trainer? That doesn’t make money! You should go to nursing school already! Don’t talk back to me- What’s going to happen if you get beat by a ten year old? Your career’s over!

Before you can own more than one pokemon, you have to obtain a license available about two towns over. This will allow you to own three. To own six or more you have to update your license a few real time months after- but be careful, they might lose your application and you’ll have to start over. To own legendaries or psuedo legendaries you have to get approval from the champion with more paperwork.

Do you really think gyms would work like that irl? You have to call and make appointments. You might not get to challenge a gym for 6 months depending. There’s always going to be technicalities too. Oh, you can’t use flamethrower on a Scorbunny- it doesn’t naturally learn that. TM? Yeah right.

Do you really think gyms would be free? You have to grind to earn and budget money for that right.

You thought healthcare would be free? Too bad, you have to spend thousands to heal a team.

PC's require a username and password. Even though you put in the password correctly it claims you didn't. “I don’t remember” sends the email to an address you can’t remember the password to either.

PC's get viruses irl. Because Blue decided to look up Sabrina lewds your Eevee is now horribly disfigured. Your shiny perfect IV and EV level 100 raised from birth Dragonite is just gone.

PC's get unwanted updates, require subscriptions for basic program uses, anti virus, etc

Do you really think route 1 will be safe? Ha, its crime central. Oh this poor kid just got his first pokemon, he has no clue the biker gang like 30 routes over figured out kids just leave home with $30.

Clothes that look right and fit all the time? In your dreams kid. At least they got the no returns right.

Buying pokeballs is such a gamble. Did you buy the first party or a third party? even then, they might just not work. They might break too.

Hope you like being an ordinary citizen, because you ain’t taking on any evil teams. Try and they’ll pull out a gun and a knife on you. You really think your Pokemon can protect you from a glock and bad sportsmanship? Do you really think that they won’t have like a gajillion revives and full restores? Do you REALLY think they’d just stick with Golbats and Ratticates?

Speaking of- what makes you think you’re so special? Beat all the gyms? Beat the elite 4? Become champion? God, you’re so conceited. You’ll be lucky if you become one of those NPC trainers that stand endlessly on a route waiting to be defeated. Sorry, but you’re lucky if you’re HALF as good at irl competitions.

You really think you can just carry 30 boxes of pokemon with you from generation to generation? You’ll be lucky if you can take care of a full team of 6. 1. Taxes for each of them. Sorry, you’re a citizen of this region now, gotta do it. 2. You have to feed them all. 3. you have to constantly make sure they aren’t trying to kill and/or eat each other. 4. grooming. always. 5. where do you think the food goes after they eat it? you’re on cleanup duty for your Wailord now, jackass- this includes every pokemon in your pc. 6. Every Pokemon you have has to be registered with the government wHICH MEANS MORE PAPERWORK 7. Vet visits for all of them. Spay and neuter. 8. Oh, you’re just going to put the game down for a day or two? That’s neglect. You have to care for each and every one of these pokemon now or else. 9. Oh, you want to breed for IV’s and EV’s? Heh, that requires a permit. 10. You have shinies? Oh, man. Man oh man. The bills. Official registry, taxing, extra vet bills for its specific dietary and medical needs, special housing and enclosing...

Try going inside anyone’s house. Good luck getting your gym badges when you’ve got a breaking and entering charge on you.

Ghost Pokemon just faze out of your pokeballs. Right. They’ll remember that you tried that shit. Prepare for some Excorcism shit.

Psychic Pokemon are impossible to train. Why would they listen to you when they can just mind control you to do whatever they want? Sorry, your Espeon wants scritches and scraps, and he’s getting it.

The evil team sucks. There’s no interesting motivation behind anything. They’re just rich assholes. and guess what? what they’re doing is perfectly legal, practically endorsed by the government.

Oh. Oh. You think YOU’RE special enough to get a starter from a professor? Really? Really? Their own damn interns aren’t special enough. Why would they give you an endangered, one of a kind pokemon and an expensive pokedex? yeah right. You’ll start with a level 2 Bidoof or die mad about it.

Fossils? Fossils? Really? Sorry, those are illegal, an affront to god and all that.