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#just to make sure everyone that doesnt wanna see it. doesnt see it
stgosupremacy · 3 days
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Hi so this is me ranting about Ash being Goh's n01 supporter in project mew 😍 (as he always is ofc)
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"I wanna join. Project Mew! For sure!"
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love that cute sneaky side view
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"You know what? I'm gonna cheer you on with all my might!"
the way he said you sounded a bit like it was a thank you for goh always cheering on ash during his battles 🥺 (it also sounds like I'm analysing too much again looooooooollllllllllll)
I always thought this was Ash just being dead supportive to Goh like he always is but he meant this so much 😭😭😭💗
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"You're coming too, Ash?" (the hand on goh's shoulder omg and ash looks so cute idfjkmf)
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"I promised I'd always cheer you on, didnt I?"
everyone smiling around them lol (they so know whats going on)
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"I'll clear the mission for sure!"
"That's the spirit, Goh!" (always so supportive 🥺💖)
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STOP HE'S SO HAPPY TO BE ALLOWED TO GO WITH GOHH AW 🥺
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"You failed. You'd be toast if I hadn't saved you."
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"Wait just a second, what are you talking about failed!?"
i love how as soon as ash sees goh's sad face he gets his protective boyfriend mode activated 🥰🥰🥺
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"Good for you, Goh! I'm fired up about this too!"
i am so tempted to make a post on how touchy these guys are bc oh my god they are so touchy 💀💀 and hellllllll ash was not lying at all about being fired up about project mew, the entire trial period it was almost like ash was taking the missions, bless him 💖😂
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"I'll help any way I can!"
it's so sweet to me ash constantly reminds gohof this fact <3
look at danika leaning in the back guys she knows
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god ive talked ab this episode far too recently to rant about it here but 🥺😂
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"You can count on us! Dont let it win!"
🥰the way ash looks at him
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"Plus, I'll be there, you'll be fine!"
no words from me just pure SUPPPPPPPPPPPORTTTTTTTTTT is radiating here (and also goh looking like he's crushing bad)
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"Only the challenger is allowed in this mission."
"You've gotta be kidding!"
bless the way he seems so fed up when danika says he cant come- LIKE CMON CAN THEY GET ANY CUTER??? 😭
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but as soon as goh says this.....
"No worries Ash, I'm sure i'll be succesful!" (his smile is so sweet)
"You're right Goh, just make sure to pass that mission!"
...Then ash is totally supportive of it if Goh's fine with it too 💗
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"Right?" 🥰
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"Right!"
yeah....sorry i had to include that it was so cute
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"Goh!"
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"Dankia, did you do this on purpose!?" the way ash is so stressed for goh for literally no reason but his safety, enter: PROTECTIVE BOYFRIEND MODE ACTIVATED AGAIN WOOOOOOO
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HE LOOKS SO SAD WHEN GOH DOESNT GET ANY TOKENS STOPPP 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
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the way ash is looking at him so intently...i cannot 💀💀💀💀💀
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"This time I'm going by myself."
"WHAT? HOW COME?" 😨😨 (that literally deserves to be in caps because he indeed shouted it lol ) he sounds so in disbelief, it's so sweet he just sees going along with Goh everywhere now his second nature 😭💙💙💙
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but after goh explaining why, then ash just smiles and wishes goh the best of luck (as he always does bc he's just happy goh is happy)
like
why is this boy so precious
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"I made it through!" I SEE THAT BLUSH HEAJDKAJ (it was obviously from excitement but blushing goh is quite rare in ultimate jrnys and he looks too cute when he does it) 😂
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"No joke?! Congratulations Goh!"
YAYYYY HES SO HAPPY 4 HIM 🤗🤗
"Thanks to you, Ash!" 🥰🥺💖
"Thanks to all of your hard work!" STOPP LIKE the way how he tries to deflect the praise back onto goh makes me smile every time but yk so does this entire scene at this point
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right the way goh ends the call and breathes out as soon as he does is definetelyy not gay at all 🤨🤨🤨 (fr tho they make each other so happy and i'm always living for it....if you havent noticed)
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...right i should stop thats enough for today
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imustbenuts · 2 days
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nuts reading trigun in japanese 6 - kaite's foreshadowing. plant synchronization's downside
remember in my part 3 and 5 i was talking about hierarchy? surprisingly, it continues past chapter 8 with kaite. and wolfwood. triangulating nyoom
(to be honest... ive been doing these read and analysis completely blind in a 1st JP read through. so its possible ill find new nuances, get things wrong as the context shifts and changes, so my stuff looks like its scattered all over the place. sorry about that.)
i think ill start explaining names and meanings. kaite's name in japanese is kaito. カイト. this can be a homonym with i think 怪盗 (kaitou) in this case, which means phantom thief. for trying to help Neon with stealing loot from the Stand Steamer.
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left bubble next to neon: 道案内は的確だったかね!? I trust your guide has been giving you clear instructions?
^the headaches with manga translations has always been to keep texts short and reasonable for flow and readability, so these simplifications can and sometimes must happen.
but, add dakutens, the " on 2 of those カイト katakanas and suddenly, kaito turns into. ガイド gaido. Guide.
so Kaite has been playing as a guide to lead vash to his death at the hands of Neon. this page is such a fucking whammy with the wordplay going on. if you just read this in japanese theres a moment of "oh shit, no way, Kaite, vash just told you to stop betraying people! what the hell!"
yet theres a level of trust going on already, so its not as bad as it seems
nightow really likes his worldplay. i really like this page.
kaite redeems himself by later charging into the boiler room and helps turn the valve to stop the sand steamer from running off cliff and killing everyone on board....
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hm. a guide. and those sequences
we sure have a lot of guides here. one who appears in the manga later with a kansai dialect. and another in TriStamp, where he is younger than he appears.
when i spoke about hierarchy and the fact that vash is over 150, i was also kind of hinting that all of current humanity are akin to children in the system of JP hierarchy. that takes on extra meaning with a little change of context and language
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wolfwood is filling in the shoes of kaito here in tristamp. and within trimax, kaito foreshadows him. incredible.
theres actually more going on with wolfwood and certain design/changes choices i wanna talk about with tristamp but ill save it for another day. maybe when i run into him in this read later
Plant Synchronization downside.
....so theres a bad downside to vash synchronizing with the plant that i didn't catch. which also answers what the fuck was going on in tristamp when that version of him hits the ground
nightow mentions this in an interview, link here posted and transcribed by xoxo-otome (thank you!) that he likes action flicks and has incorporated a lot of action into his work. and its true. there is so much action in the form of sound effects.
reading through the entire manga and paying attention to the sfx peppered around offers a lot more context to whats happening in half of the panels that seemingly doesnt make sense
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like this one where the top panel has "DADADADADA" sfx. so they're stomping down the corridor with their guns crossed and facing each other. the "GO OH" in the bottom panel emphasizes the sudden burst into open air. unfortunately, anyone who values their life and sanity in this economy will not want to translate trigun's sfxs 100%.
i should have paid more attention when reading trigun in english. but i didn't so here i am. in the trigunbookclub tag now doing this.
why is it important? here. this. below. when vash does his plant thing with his sister:
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see those heart panels? i tried searching real quick but nobody seems to have pointed this out. i havent seen this in EN fanfics. maybe i missed it. maybe im stupid:
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thats Dokun, the sound effect of a heart thumping. as vash synchronizes, the heart panels with the same sound effect appear, but they gradually split apart further with ellipses "..." to signify his heart beat slowing down. and down. and down....
Dokun, do kun, do... kun....
then the wings comes out. and the panel below it:
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sfx: PIIIIIIIIIII
breathes. a FLAT LINE.
aaaaaaAA?!
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何かなんだかわかりません I'm not sure what's going on. とにかくプラントの動きは一切止まっています But the Plant's movement has completely stopped. 同時に男にも呼吸 心音ともに停止してます It's the same with that man. His breathing and heartbeat sounds like it's stopped with the plant too.
AAAAA?!!?! the も means vash is in the same state as the plant?
i.... um. um.,, ANYWAY-
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AAAAAAAAAAAA?! HUH?! HUH??? HUH?!
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is THIS why he has a metal grate over his heart? something happened and he an an operation on his heart???? by some engineer maybe? what? huh? am i reading this wrong? what? wait, hello? HEY!!!
what the fuck. okAY--?!
and then he just. pretends like nothing's happened. doesnt tell kaito anything. and he leaves the Sand Steamer.
and im going to have to sleep bc its 5 am now and pretend like i didnt just realize something this big right in front of my eyes during the first read.
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xulips · 1 year
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those recent cards ruined my brain
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snekdood · 10 months
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so uh
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for 1. most people are gonna take advantage of black friday and wont see your specific niche tumblr post, I hate to say it
2. the us isnt running out of money for war any time soon, so...
3. this is just antisemitism???????? all we need is some (((echoes))) around the us and israel and then I'd have no reason to suspect otherwise from op...............
#why in tf do you think they care that much about getting your money rn and not before in any other war?#does it. mayhaps. have something to do w jewish people being involved now?#our tax dollars go to the govt regardless and has been for years and we already have an obscene amount of funding for military shit#preeetty sure they're not concerned about getting a couple hundred tumblr users money...#and also pretty sure one could only believe that if they're paranoid about jewish ppl.................#hard not to put two and two together and figure out op is prolly antisemitic and hopefully they just dont realize it#i say hopefully they dont realize it bc thats better than someone who knows and is pretending to be a leftist still.#if anything this pause happened bc its thanksgiving and biden doesnt wanna think about it over the holidays. thats p much it.#thats the only amount of conspiracy theory im willing to believe in this situation lmao.#but that ^ still assumes that biden has some sort of control over this that he really doesnt#and i dont think netanyahu cares that much about thanksgiving tbr...#it sounds more like to me that op is seeing this from a very american centric pov and assumes everyone celebrates thanksgiving#or cares enough about it to remember the dates.... i dont think this is as planned as op is making it out to be and any insinuation#that it IS planned sounds like conspiracy theory talk to me personally. i dont think biden is hittin netanyahu up and going#'hey thursday is thanksgiving and would be the perfect time to pause so we can (((get peoples money))) out of them#asiftheUSdoesnthaveplentyalready' like i just really dont think that convo is happening lmao.
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faaun · 25 days
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the way that diff languages sound r so fascinating they're all different and all so vivid
#russian is like the surface of a feather like it's light but not exactly “soft” but still very delicate#german is . cute ? i think it's adorable . it has a lot of momentum it makes u wanna talk fast and talk a lot#like it's squishy . sleek surface w a soft inside#thai is like song . it's like interprative dance or maybe a trust-fall . everything follows from the previous thing#it feels like a little fairy flying up and letting itself fall and flying up again and so on (for fun). its so beautiful but also playful#mandarin chinese is like . idk why but it gives me the same vibe the concept of Observation does . like to read and to see and absorb#and then to translate that into smth else . like . imagine a poet people watching or an artist preparing a canvas w practiced hands. thats#the vibe. soft and elegant and musical but like...in a way that feels lived-in. arabic feels wise ? like music or poetry u read#and feel nothing about then years later u stumble on and it applies to everything in ur life. that kind of vibe. like it knows more than u#and itll make sure ur heart and soul grows as big as its lexicon . polish is like snowflakes falling . it has the feeling of complexity and#elegance but it's also so so light and slippery and...maybe not elusive but the feeling of losing a dance partner in a waltz ? like fun and#light but also an underlying elegance and somberness still . turkish is like the feeling when u get a text from ur crush#and your heart tightens and you cant tell if it's really painful or really amazing . it feels like unrequited love . or a caress#or making out with someone when you know its the last time you'll see them. its beautiful in a yearning longing way#korean is like joking around w ur friends and you've stayed up until like almost 5 AM and youre so delirious that everything is funny#and ur speaking kind of lightly and openly and everything you say holds a lot of weight and doesnt matter at all. you laugh at everything#and youre practically talking in inside jokes and watching the sunrise together . one of them hits u on the shoulder lovingly. ur by a fire#yoruba feels like the metatheory of the matatheory . abstraction until it circles back to intuition or maybe#it feels like plotting the route of a comet or maybe like the soft warm whirr of statistics. trying to verbalise beauty somehow#when you know the best thing you can show it is by telling everyone just look!! look at the sky just look!#anyway yh i think i could do this for every language ever tbh
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chiimeramanticore · 4 days
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#im not dead quit asking#I'm just really really really not doing well#sorry if i scared anyone. that wasnt my intent#things got. let's say worse. for me irl. more complicated for sure#i hate to publicize my breakdown I really do. but maybe i... need this? in a weird way?#i haven't really been adjusting well to having a platform online. that's not anyone's fault but mine ofc#i feel that my 'fans' (if ive earned the right to call them that) dont and frankly cant ever care for me as a person#i dont know you and you dont know me. you dont know all of me at least. just what i make public. what i allow others to see#i had it kinda bullied into me that i need to keep my mouth shut abt my own issues. and ive spent a lot of this year trying to unlearn that#maybe publicizing this is a bad idea anyway#I just know ive been more honest abt my emotions and my personal life with my friends and my partner#and not everyone enjoys it but i know I'm not like. traumadumping so i feel somewhat assured that anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt my life-#-probably wasnt all that interested in forming a close relationship w me to begin with. even if theyre friendly at first#everyone else; the people who I know care about me; have shown me that through their actions#my point is being honest abt how youre doing w other ppl is a good idea. revolutionary i know lol#and i still don't know a lot of you personally but#parasocial or not i got some very genuine sounding messages while I was gone. and i. feel really bad that i worried those people#I guess theres my proof that people would care if i disappeared suddenly. people would notice pretty quick it seems#im never gonna kms btw. even if i didnt have the support i have im simply too stubborn to die lol. to put it lightly#and to those who thought this was abt fandom drama: it's not. those who shall not be named are genuinely the least of my problems these days#I'm on a journey of self actualization. or something. im trying to get my shit together. im trying to stop being clinically depressed lol#but god keeps throwing wrenches in my plans and. i beat myself up about it too much#but that's just life. they say you make a plan and god laughs#im. trying to be okay with just riding the wave. im impatient but if i keep trying to somehow speed up time im just gonna exhaust myself#which I think is where im at now. burnt out#and on top of all that i still feel this need to like. perform for you guys#if i dont keep making content everyone will forget i exist. if i dont make another video essay this year can i even call myself a youtuber#etc etc. its the spiral its impostor syndrome we've all been there#im trying to end this on a positive note but idk. i dont have all the answers yet#hoping i figure it out soon. i hope you dont forget me in the meantime
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milf-harrington · 1 year
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its so fucking disheartening realising that no one actually sees me as a guy, they just pretend to - and yeah its great being called theo but its less great being lumped in as one of the girls in the same breath
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dutybcrne · 7 months
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Kaeya is rather touch averse, cringing away from casual contact people give him under the guise of being distracted or idle movement. He's used to it, the Ragnvindrs and Adenlinde got him used to frequent affectionate physical contact, but it can still be entirely Uncomfortable if he's touched by someone outside those he is close to or someone he's otherwise Allowed to touch him.
#hc; kaeya#//Mentioned before; but am Elaborating on other aspects since Aven get brain juices flowing for this#//Unlike Aven; he's FAR more tolerable of people who touch him unprompted. & more willing to indulge for himself outside his comfort people#//Unless he himself had actively given the indication he doesn't want it; in that case THEN he's likely to anger & retaliate#//But yeah; his response is usually Discomfort & trying to get away from it one way or another. Can tolerate it to appear friendly; sure#//But would rather not want people to touch him so easily. Is decently okay with brief touches tho; like shoulder pats or the like#//Will actively lean into it & encourage further touching ONLY as a means to an end; adjusting any wandering hands only when going too far#//Esp if he can use that like a carrot on a string–if they concede to what he wants; they can touch him more. Maybe MORE than just that too#//He won't initiate any touch unless he deems it Absolutely Necessary; WILL internally scream if they Immediately reciprocate the contact#//Uses it as a 'reward' sometimes; a little pinch of the cheek; a hug; getting right into their space; if he sees they'll react favorably#//Maybe more if they have connection enough; like Huffman or one of his longer-running liaisons. Is p ok w/ sleeping w/ them as reward#//Sometimes he forgets some people don't like that he does this; like Rosie. Tries the tactic to get a favor then Remembers#//Absolutely apologizes; feels mortified when she scrutinizes him for it. Esp since she'd be one of few ppl who KNOWS just how Averse he is#to it in the first place. Him slipping up like that in front of HER is smth he'd STRESS over. She could hold over his head for all he knows#//How can he even joke abt it? Worse if she asks abt his way of doing things or indicate she doesnt Like that he uses himself as bait#//Has absolutely accidentally tried to seduce/bait sb like that who he absolutely should Not have. Like Jean. Ended up playing it off like#a joke between friends; but damn near had a panic attack from the guilt the moment he was safely in his office. bc Jean is SPECIAL to him#could he treat her like THAT? How could he almost let her SEE that side of him? His casual charm and facade are ONE thing#//But him actively doing something like THAT; esp for Jean of all people; is COMPLETELY off-limits; no matter his feelings#//Actually; especially BC he harbors feelings for her. Ppl like Lisa on the other hand; he is VERY comfortable doing this with/to#//She GETS the flirty habit & dishes it back without losing image of him in the way someone he regards at Jean's level possibly could#//And as far as Lisa knows; it's Only a playful habit; not a means to an end. The ones who prolly Know might be certain folks in the church#//But that's just bc he gets frequent checkups after every lil Rendezvous of his. Which is why he's got dirt on Every Single Person There#//Except Barbara; but he absolutely makes SURE she's not the one he's dealing with whenever he goes. Wants to spare her his messes#//Damn; veered a little but it's alright. 'A little'; HA. Nah; my tags are but the cluttered corkboard of my thoughts jhdbfjdf#//Diluc; Addie & Jean are the people he most Fears finding out abt his methods. Doesnt wanna THINK abt how they'd feel/regard him after tha#//Knows for SURE it'd be painful if the way they treat him changes even a SLIGHT. ESP Addie; he can bear the other two; but Addie???#//Nah; he'd be fucken DEVASTATED. That's the ONE person he knows hold true unwavering unconditional love for him; no matter what#//To do anything to damage that? He'd be so fucken GUTTED. He expects everyone to get fed up with/disdain him at some point. But not HER#//Keeps this shit on the down low by always having dirt on the people he gets Involved with; if not using keeping it up as an incentive
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data#which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done#for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior#so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip.#also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a#collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things.#and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more#devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close#bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the#country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will#instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a#different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad#a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi#intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see#them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize#the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b#doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped#that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying#less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating#unrelated
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beatbawksradio · 1 month
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slán
#i think im done actually. i think im gonna throw in the towel#i dont think this is working out for me#i think the world of the online public is just too hostile. too violent. too uncaring#i dont belong here. i wasn't built for this world. its not ready for someone like me and I'm not ready for it#the internet is a world where human interaction is filtered through words on a screen. what kind of interaction is that#you cant see how you affect people. you don't know what people are going through. you can only judge by the words they let you see#that's not how humans were meant to exist. we're meant to see each other. care for each other. feel each others suffering and support#but that doesnt happen here. this world is designed for those who thrive behind a mask. those not afraid to hurt others who take theirs off#and anytime someone does take off the mask. the reaction is to twist anything they say or do into how theyre actually bad#everytime i post in public i worry about that. how is this going to be purposefully misinterpreted. how is this going to be used against me#how are the people who hate me going to use this to further make even more people who don't know me hate me#and that's not healthy!! that's paranoia!! mental illness!! im putting the symptoms of my abuse on display and it only hurts me more#no one cares about caring though. its all about how this person just wants more attention than everyone else. they just wanna be special#i can tell people i don't wanna see g*ns and theyll act like im a baby for it. i tell them ive had my life threatened & they think I'm lying#bc that's what you do on the internet. you don't trust people. you don't validate them. you abandon them when they're opening up#bc all you see is a screen and not how the person is actually reacting in real life to these things. its just words#and if anyone comes along trying to just be a nice person. then its either “they must not actually be nice and I'm gonna expose them”#or they just get abused by the people not afraid to abuse nice people. its all the same. there's always another war. peace doesn't exist#violent people arent afraid to be violent. they're not afraid to hurt someone getting in their way. peaceful people dont stand a chance#the only way to survive the game is to not play the game. find a pocket somewhere and stop existing to the world.#thats the only way to make everyone happy when everyone hates you. there is no redemption. this is the land of careless wolves#and I'm just a rabbit telling the wolves to stop being wolves. of course ill be killed. that's what happens to rabbits#so i hope all the people still reading this who used me as entertainment or as a stepping stone for their own manipulation are happy#ill be gone. i won't be here anymore. i won't be something that you ever need to think about anymore. you can go ahead and celebrate#tell everyone you've won. the evil is defeated. you killed the person who you and everyone else hated so much. go ahead and be a hero#ill be dead to this world. and that's okay. bc ill be living a much better life in the real world#ive had my time in the spotlight. now it's over. now it's time for a different chapter. yall can go ahead and enjoy your spotlight#go ahead and keep proving to everyone how good and nice you are by screaming at everyone who opposes you and destroying their lives#im sure you'll be proud of the legacy you leave behind. im sure you'll be proud of how much peace your violence brought into the world#im happy with the people i love. and ill continue to find my happiness away from this deplorable hostile world. ill be floukru
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arolesbianism · 9 months
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Y'know I was thinking abt how I like to bully alone dupes in oni when they enter the socializing state alone but then I realized... When they're socializing they go to the printing pod. They're talking with their deadbeat mom that's so cute 🥺
#rat rambles#ok ok calling her a deadbeat mom may be a bit harsh but its not completely untrue imo dhdkhd#anyways I didnt make a lot of progress today in my main oni playthrough but I finally got a couple that Ive been kinda avoiding getting#aka ari and joshua because I like to hate on them for no reason#I also got a nails today so yippee#Im almost good to go with jorge I just need to wait out the timer basically#I've actually already gotten some decent food production going so I might try to commit to this colony instead of dipping like I planned#I will be sending quinn back home tho they deserve to see their friends again#in the meantime I got party phones set up in the newer two colonies so everyone can call eachother now :]#Im still not exactly sure how Im going to fit like 20 more dupes but Ill figure smth out#I should be able to fit like 5 or so dupes in the newest colony and if I play my cards right I could shove the rest into the other new one#but for that Id need to seriously upscale my oxygen production there and while I do have infinite water I do not have infinite space#but I do wanna get to my goal as fast as possible since I do not wanna think abt what would happen if I ran out of certain materials#specifically in the second newest colony were their main food source is waterweed#I should be able to manage for a while and worse comes to worse I can cheat but Id rather not have to#I could theoretically switch to mealwood if that happens but again Id rather not have to#oh also some real poggers news I found a single bristle blossom plant on the newest colony#I still need to go dig it out but that means that Ill be able to start progress on getting a more reliable food source since grup fruit#will only last so long without me taming a sulfur guyser and well Im a wuss who doesnt want my lil guys to die#oni posting
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gibbearish · 9 months
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Congrats on sending that application!
THANK UUUUUU
#it was to a dominos and my partner is a gm in training at a different branch and i have over a year delivery driving experience#already and know Exactly How Low Their Standards Are so im not worried about getting it‚ mostly just that my brain will still be too mushy#to handle a job again#but i mean since it is just dominos and im only aiming for part time it hopefully shouldn't be too bad#and i do not care if they don't like me bc my resumes already pretty good as is i don't need a glowing review from dominos#esp bc i could just put my bf down as a dominos reference and theyd probably just Assume i worked for him and call him#instead of the store i actually worked at KWNDLABFKSBFJD#which is v good bc having seen a lot of what goes on behind the scenes on the manager side via my bf. i already know i am#going to cause problems LMAO#i have the Transgender Working In Very Liberal Area Right Next To Very Conservative Area Protection Aura#wherein the bosses here are So Very Scared of getting in trouble for bigotry and want to look sososososo woke. that i can get away#with being way more blunt abt when shit sucks lol#bosses don't really know what to do when The One Openly Transgender One directly calls out unfair expectations to their face#and to be clear i do mean liberal as in Liberal we're still very much in the North Idaho Splash Zone so like#open bigotry doesnt happen and the public will be on your side if it does. but boy do they know actually nothing about it#you know the type i mean kwbfksbfkd#like the best example i can think of is a couple ppl at my last job still she/her'd me long after i started passing as male#and me Being A Transgender™ had made the news rounds#and my other coworkers wouldnt correct them and would just he/him and they/them me back#which im fine w bc thats how my pronouns work is just. idk whatever you think‚ if you wanna she me you can just look dumb LMAO#but crucially 99% of my coworkers Didnt know thats how that worked‚ they just knew im A Transgender and look like a man#and that everyone else didn't use she/her for me anymore‚ so like an actually left place would rightly assume#they were doing it deliberately to be shitty and correct them‚ whereas here theyre just like. ah im sure they just havent noticed#since you went by she/her when you started here#and its like no i dont think the beard i grew halfway through working there went unnoticed actually#given that Thats When The Universal He Himming Started#im rambling again sorry for this word avalanche irt a simple congrats i got distracted JEBFKABFKSBFKDBFMD#anyways. tyvm it was stressful and i still dont want to do it but its out of my hands now so i have to follow through and at least give it#a try and i appreciate the encouragement‚ it rlly did make me feel a lot better just seeing the ask#gibberasks
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trutletruffle · 1 year
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ok so on the whole cassandra clare incest train rn (pls get me off it sucks in here) but controversial opinion i think jamie/cersei lannister is a pretty well done incest in media situation (i will only be analyzing what happens in the books havent watched the series and im not going to so dont come at me) because their whole relationship is an extension of lannister pride and their own ego. like from a very young age they had all of the pure lannister blood shit stuffed into their heads and the whole idea that they are the highest form of a lannister and therefore basically perfect and marrying/reproducing with anyone else will only sully them and their whole family plus they kinda dont get to have any sense of identity and pride (esp cersei) in who they are outside of their identity as a lannister. like jaime gets to be a knight and has an identity outside of lannister there (which i think is why he realizes its fucked up first but ill get into that later) but cersei really doesnt shes just pretty and powerless. so theyre seeking validation in a really fucked up way in eachother, in maintaining the only identity they have as lannisters. keep the blood pure and all that. like theres very specifically a couple scenes where theyre fucking and jaime is like she is my twin she looks just like me and cersei goes he is so perfect and handsome he is me if i was a man etc like the whole thing is an ego trip for both of them (seeing and having sex with their own lannister perfection) as well as jealousy from cersei bc jamie by accident of birth has everything she will never have. and as soon as jaime gets an ounce of conscience, kindof realizes that lannisters arent shit and that being a good person is cool sometimes, once he gets away from his family and esp his fathers oppresive presence for a bit, he immediatly is no longer in love with his sister. like the relationship collapses immediatly as soon as jaime has his ego beaten out of him (and is no longer an example of lannister perfection, once he loses his hand and stops being cerseis mirror). anyhow so the way that cersei drops jaime as soon as he loses his hand and everything it represented (status, power, beauty, perfection basically) shows how superficial and egotistical it all was. 
anyhow cassandra clare is trash and could she please never pretend to write anything anymore good god having your characters be siblings doesnt give them more tension because its taboo its just gross thx
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aroarachnid · 8 months
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"but if it were me, I'd really wanna be, a giant woman"
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stevens relationship with gender is so fascinating to me. his entire diamond days arc is a clear trans allegory, but more specifically reads as a transmasc allegory, what with everyone reffering to him as "rose" or "pink" and feminine terms despite his repeated insistence that he is *steven*. and yet he never actually corrects anyone when they use she/her. he only corrects his name. this was pointed out in the tags of that one post youve probably seen:
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this post doesnt show it, but steven is delighted when blue said this. obviously you can read this as steven being glad that shes making an effort, even if incorrect, and is just choosing to let the wrong pronouns slide. but its never explicitly stated. and like i said, he never corrects she/her, he only corrects his name. although it is interesting that, by the time the movie rolls around, the diamonds have switched to he/him.
its also interesting to mention how excited he was to put on pink diamonds outfit, and also how quickly he took it off once he got the chance.
of course stevens relationship with his mother and his identity issues are going to play a big part in how he percieves his gender, given that for a large chunk of the show he actually belived they were the same person, at least to some extent. ("im my mom and my sister?! what kind of magical destiny is this?!). how would you define your "agab" when half your family is telling you that you are a centuries old alien called rose/pink who has no sex and used she/her? not to mention all of the various gender identities and pronouns his fusions have.
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thats not even getting started on how the gems percieve gender, which is to say, they generally don't. gems are sexless beings and their society has no concept of gender, although after spending a long time on earth im sure the crystal gems have a better understanding (i actually could talk about the gems relation to human gender a lot more but ill save that for another time). for steven, a child raised by gems for a good chunk of his childhood- who use feminine terms as a default-i can see how that would lead to some interesting perceptions on gender presentation.
thats not even getting into stevens gender noncomformity. and while gender presentation doesnt necessarily have anything to do with your gender identity, its interesting to note and i just think its really cool that a male protagonist is so unapologetically feminine
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also i could talk for days about connie and stevens knight/princess dynamic, and how it parallels pearl and roses, but in a healthier way that nips the whole "obssesive self sacrifice" thing in the (rose) bud as soon as steven notices it. but then id have to talk about pearl and then wed be here all day lol
so yeah, stevens relationship with gender fascinates me. I mean, does the concept of "cisgender" even apply in the way we usually mean it to, given stevens unique experiences?
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freaksun · 2 months
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eddie doesnt let anyone touch his hair. ever.
it reminds him of his late mother, who had the same gorgeous untamed curls. She used to comb his hair when he was little, being ever so gentle and taking her time brushing out the knots.
his father made him feel less-than for just about everything about him, including his gorgeous mane. Called him awful names and always told him to ‘cut that fairy shit’ when it grew too long.
so, ever since she passed, and his father went to jail, hes been growing it.
unfortunately, she never taught him how to take care of it, she’d always just do it herself. So, he doesnt put product in it, he doesnt cut it, he doesnt even brush it. And, stubborn as his mama, he doesnt let anyone else touch it either.
then you come along, happy and sweet, always loving to everyone. he falls in love with you so fast he hardly even notices. you certainly dont either.
one hot summer day you’re both in his room, you on his bed, him pacing, frantically explaining some sort of nerdy campaign idea. you dont know, you havent been listening for a while, too distracted by the way he keeps wiping sweat from the back of his neck. you cut him off rudely, he doesnt mind
“hey eddie?”
“sweetheart?”
“whens the last time you got a haircut?”
he freezes, silent, which is very out of character, dude never shuts up.
“uhh. like a few years ago. why?”
its your turn to be quiet, suddenly all coy. he finds you absolutely adorable as you stare at his floor, trying to find a way to ask him without startling him. as if he were some wild animal, which, he basically is.
“just.. immm noticinggg its kinda matted in the back…”
you try to sound the least accusing as you can. he doesnt seem offended but you can tell hes thinking.
“well, yeah, i. i guess i just havent touched it since. well my mom used to do it for me”
you feel like an ass, touching on something you shouldnt have, making him all quiet and sad. you backtrack.
“jesus, eddie, im sorry i didnt mean to-“
“its okay angel, i know”
he sits next to you. you give him a nervous smile, still sweet, hesitantly reaching for his curls. you can tell he’s hesitant too, but he nods, granting you permission. you take a single strand between your fingers, twirling it.
“Its so pretty, eds. ..would you let me? take care of it, i mean?”
hes scared. but youre so sweet and youre asking so nicely. a part of him is scared if he lets you, he loses another part of his mom. but the other part is staring into your eyes and seeing nothing but genuine affection.
“i.. i guess you could.. try.”
his heart pounds in his chest. You absolutely beam, thanking him immediately and bouncing around the room, looking for a brush. he laughs, shaking his head. you watch as he rummages through his closet, before handing you a light pink brush. you think about teasing him for it but he already looks vulnerable. you smile sweetly instead, taking it from him.
“sit” you point with the brush. he does as you say, running his hands up and down his thighs in a self soothing motion.
“its okay eds, you dont have to be nervous.. ill be gentle i promise” he gives you an unconvincing smile. you return with a guilty one, downturned. you kneel in front of him, in between his knees, brushing his bangs with your fingers.
“we can stop whenever you want, okay?” his cheeks are bright red as he nods timidly
you move to sit behind him, and run your hands through his curls gently, admiring it. you take a part, hold it at the root, and brush gently.
“that feel okay? tell me if it hurts” ever so sweet.
“mm-hm” you can feel his nervousness. “you- you remind me of her, y’know”
youre pretty taken aback, but honoured nonetheless. you keep brushing through the mattes in his hair as you talk.
“Yeah? Wanna tell be about her?” youre not sure if its the right thing to say, but you figure he probably hasnt told anyone about her. you can practically feel his energy shift.
“she was sweet. loving and kind to everyone, like you.” you both smile. “and she was pretty. beautiful. i really miss her.” you stop, rub his back a little.
“i can only imagine.. im sorry eddie.” he turns to face you, smiling.
“s’alright sweetheart. thanks for letting me talk about her” he hugs you. you hug him back, tight.
“hows the ole hair going?” He asks when he pulls back, a joking tone to lighten the mood.
“good!!! ive gotten the mattes outta this chunk here, it looks good. your hair is really beautiful, eds” youre ecstatic and it travels to him.
“thank you. my mom had the same hair.” he smiles, turning back around to let you continue.
“i bet she was really gorgeous.” youre extra-extra gentle. He keeps talking and you keep working. He tells you about how she smelled, the softness of her voice, his favourite memories with her. he tells you about the last time he saw her. he tells you all the things hes been holding inside, everything he never got to tell anyone, never trusted anyone enough. and when hes done, his hair is untangled and soft.
you smile proudly, running your hands through his hair, marveling at your work.
“its done” he whips around, looking at you with wide excited eyes
“really??” you nod, smiling wide. he runs over to the bathroom to see for himself. You stand behind him, peeking over his shoulder in the mirror. Hes surprised, looks like he might even cry. you wrap your arms around him, leaning your head against his arm.
“do you like it? Its a little poofy, but you can wash it out and it’ll look be-“ he cuts you off by turning around and hugging you. he hugs you tight, lifting you up.
“thank you.” you can tell he really means it.
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anthology-moved · 2 years
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Not having a host or a set of defined co-hosts is normal and fine actually. The emphasis on every alter having a specific role in a system doesn't reflect the reality for a lot of people with dissociative disorders and it's ok if you don't relate to it.
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