#just two yello beans

[emelinstriker]

Me to myself: WhatEVER you do, don't turn ESAU!MK into a b- Oh nevermind I'm too late

Have a bebe

BABU BEANS

BBY BEANS

LOOK AT THOSE YELLO BEANS

BBIES

also i love how my bby looks more derpy than your bby- like, both share one brain cell, but that one brain cell comes from your bby lmao-

mine is literally head empty, no thoughts, just bean everywhere- fdhgfndhgfdnhgdf

i didn't even try to make him look derpy, but he just looks so adorably derpy with those eyes and permanent head empty bean look i-

[barefoot-joker]

Snake in the Garden~Yandere! Lucifer X Reader

Hey, guys! I hope you all are well! Today I bring you a Yandere! Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel) story. I do apologize if he's OOC, I tried to make him a bit suave. I hope you enjoy and have a great day/night!

Words: 2105

Warnings: Snakes, Kidnapping, Swearing

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

I hummed as I slipped on my straw hat and sandals. Today was gardening day and I was very excited to be outside. My garden was my passion. It was something to look forward to each day after work. It was especially nice in the eighty degree weather we were having, cool breezes making it bearable to be outside. 

Grabbing my metal bucket with my shears, trowel, and gloves, I made my way out the back door of my house. My neighbor Terry was sitting on his porch rocking in his chair, basking in the sunshine. When he saw me he waved. “Yello, Y/n! Enjoying the day?”

“Of course! How about you Mr. Johnson?”

“Oh you know, just taking a sunbath while the wife is out grocery shopping. If you catch my drift.”

“Perfectly.”

“Well have fun, little lady!”

“Will do, thank you!”

I gave a simple wave and headed towards my small garden. It wasn’t the most spectacular thing, only having five or six rows of vegetables, but I was so proud of my little paradise. I set my bucket down and walked down the row of beans, inspecting each one. My humming continued as I began picking and gently setting the vegetables in my pail. As I was working I heard something hissing. Confused, I looked around and didn’t see anything. I turned back to my work. It was silent for a moment until the hissing continued. I glanced around when suddenly my eyes caught sight of something white in the bushes. I stood up and walked over, pushing the foliage to the side. I gasped when I saw a white snake, its pale pink underbelly had a large gash. I slowly reached down and stroked its back. The snake turned its head, the red eyes staring me down. “Hey there, little fellow. It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt ya.”

As I continued to stroke its back, the snake must have understood my message. “Let’s get you patched up, little guy.”

I gently grabbed a hold and made sure to cradle him close. Walking back inside, I set him in my kitchen sink and went to grab supplies. I made my way to the bathroom where I grabbed some gauze and disinfectant from a cupboard. I then returned back to the kitchen. I lifted my scaly friend to flip him over and started to rub some disinfectant on his gash. I grabbed some paper towel and dabbed it dry. “Almost done, little fellow.”

Ripping off some gauze, I carefully wrapped it around the wound. Tying it off, I sealed it with a kiss from the fingertips. “And, all done! Not my best work, but it’ll do.”

The snake’s tongue flicked out in appreciation. “You know what? I think I’ll name you Red. You know, after your very beautiful red eyes!”

The white snake hissed and slithered closer to the edge of the sink. I picked him up and cuddled him close as we walked back outside. When we made it to my garden I gently let him down before I went back to work. Red stayed the whole time I was outside, slithering alongside me. When it was my time to head inside, I said my goodbyes and watched him slither back into the bushes.

After my run in with Red I would see him every time I entered my garden. I would lay out some greenery for him to eat and some water to drink all the time. He would even wrap himself around my arms as I worked. One day as I was preparing my small table, Red came out of the bushes as per usual. He slithered up my leg and I couldn’t help but giggle. “Red, that tickles! Stop! I have to get this ready!”

He just stayed there. “You silly boy.”

I caressed the top of his head and set up my nice (favorite color) tablecloth. Just as I was placing two mugs down, I heard a male voice call my name. Red slid off my leg and curled down by the table leg. I turned to see my boyfriend s/o standing at my back door. “S/o!”

I ran at him and gave a big hug. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

“Me too. We’ve been planning this little lunch date for a while.”

I led him over to the table and we sat. “I made us some tea. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not, honey. You know I’m down to try anything.”

We both took a sip from our cups. “So, how has your garden been going?”

“Pretty well actually. All of my vegetables have been thriving, which is nice. I even met a new friend!”

“A new friend? Well I’d love to meet them.”

“Hold on one second.”

I leaned under the table and gently picked up my snake buddy. “This is Red. Isn’t he gorgeous? I’ve never seen a snake with a pink underbelly before.”

“Me neither. Can I see him?”

“Of course!”

I started to hand him over when suddenly Red struck forward and sunk his fangs into S/o’s hand. “Ow! God dammit that hurt!”

“Red!”

I set him down and gently took my boyfriend’s hand. “Are you alright?”

“No, your fucking snake bit me!”

I sucked on my teeth. “It does look bad. Here, let’s take you to the clinic.”

We stood up and walked to my car. I had him sit in the passenger seat while I drove.

Hours later I had dropped off S/o at his apartment. We had gotten him some antibiotics and luckily Red wasn’t poisonous. Thank god. I sighed as I slipped off my shoes and walked into my living room. I was looking at the floor when suddenly I let out a gasp. Standing staring at some of the photos on my wall was a short man, his back towards me. From what I could see he wore a big white hat, white and red jacket, white puffy pants and tall black boots. At the sound of me entering, the man turned and I couldn’t help but let out another gasp. The stranger had white skin, short blonde hair and red circles on his cheeks. His red eyes were quite striking as they seemed to stare into my soul. “Ah Y/n, you’re back! Jolly good.”

“W-who are you?”

A black cane with an apple on top magically appeared and the man gave a theatrical bow. “How rude of me. My name is Lucifer dear, but you’re probably more familiar with calling me Red.”

“R-red? But you’re a person and he was a snake…wait a minute. Lucifer? As in the Devil?”

He let out a dark chuckle and I stepped back upon seeing the two rows of sharp teeth. “Exactly!”

I gulped and ran off, trying to head for my front door. I screamed when he appeared in front of me, but this time dressed in green. I bolted towards my back door but he reappeared, this time in red. A few more Lucifers in different colored clothes surrounded me, parting to let the original through. “Look Mr. Satan sir, I didn’t summon you, nobody sacrificed me, nothing like that! Why don’t you just return to Hell and forget this ever happened!”

His cane came up under my chin and lifted my head to look into his eyes. “And forget the lovely lady that helped me? Not a chance! I was lucky I stumbled upon you that day. You see, I had gotten into a fight with a contractor and he got quite a few hits in. I got away with a stomach wound and that’s when I slithered into your life. You patched me up and made me whole!”

His face got closer to mine as he told his tale, our noses almost touching. “You’re so intoxicating, dear. Just like the apple I offered to Eve.”

My breath hitched as his lips got close. “Okay, I helped you. Now why can’t you just go away?”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“Why not? Please, leave me alone.”

A few tears collected in the corners of my eyes and he was quick to wipe them away. “I’ll explain in due time. But I’ve wasted enough time. We need to get going.”

“Going?”

“Yes! You’re coming to Hell with me!”

My eyes widened and I attempted to flee. His arm wrapped around my waist and with the other he waved his cane in the air. Golden dust began to accumulate on the floor, swooshing around and around until a portal formed. The arm around my waist forced me to walk with him. He threw his cane into the air and like magic it disappeared. “Now this may cause a slight headache but I’ll be sure to tend to it when we arrive.”

“No please-”

“In we go!”

He forced us to jump forward and I let out a shriek. I tightly closed my eyes and my stomach lifted into my throat as we fell. This feeling stayed until I landed on something soft. My body was tense as I slowly opened my eyes. It seemed we had landed in a foyer of sorts. The large marble fireplace had a roaring blaze going and from what I could see out the large Victorian windows it was night outside. The dark red clouds swirled like my nerves as I watched Lucifer fluff his jacket. He turned to me and smiled. “I apologize if I frightened you, my dear. It wasn’t my intention. I know first time portal jumping can be quite tedious.”

He adjusted his hat before sitting next to me on the deep red velvet chaise lounge. “Now then I know you skipped lunch since you took your little boy toy to the hospital, so how about some dinner? I can cook a mean steak!”

The situation was starting to be too much to handle and I couldn’t help the sobs that wracked my body. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. Shh, shh. There, there.”

Lucifer wrapped his arms around me in a hug and I could feel his claws combing my hair. “It’s alright, little apple. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

He just made me cry harder. “I just want to go home!”

“This is your home now. I know it’ll take some getting used to, but I promise if you give Hell a chance you’ll forget all about silly Earth and that wretched boyfriend of yours.”

His claws dug in a bit when he brought up S/o. It made me shudder. “But he doesn’t matter anymore. I’m here for you and that’s most important.”

He pulled away slightly to wipe at my eyes, his touch gentle compared to before. “You know what will cheer you up? A nice cup of spiced hot cocoa! I’ll be right back.”

He stood and made his way towards the white door. Before leaving he gave me a smile. “Don’t go anywhere.”

The door shut softly. As soon as he was gone I quickly looked around trying to find an exit. I spotted a door opposite me. I ran to it, threw it open, and rushed out of the room. My legs carried me far as I dashed through the spiraling halls, rushing down a grand staircase, and arriving at what I assumed was the front door. I yanked them open and before I could step out an angry hiss made me pause. Two large golden snakes sat on the doorstep and stared me down harshly. I slammed the door shut and urged myself to breathe slower. “I see you’ve met David and Goliath.”

My head shot up to see Lucifer standing there without his jacket, a faint smirk on his lips. “Why the heck do you have giant snakes on your property?!”

“To protect us. Being the rulers of Hell comes with a target on your back.”

“What do you mean rulers?”

“I brought you here for a reason, Y/n, silly goose!” 

He began walking towards me. “I intend to court you and make you my Queen. I’ve been alone for seven years. My wife and I split and my daughter and I don’t have the best relationship. However, I intend to rectify that, my sweet apple. You and I are going to be together forever.”

He stopped in front of me and held my face in his hands, thumbs gently rubbing my cheekbones. My heart sank as I realized I wasn’t getting out of this any time soon and the look of adoration in Lucifer’s eyes made that fact.

[bo-bo-bean]

Boiling Love

    Stiff… Musty… Heavy… There were the ingredients chosen to create the most dreadful day. But Mother Nature accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction; sweaty boyfriends.

“Auugh!” Vincent waddled in with no fight for a pout. Felix looked up from his game, gleaming from sweat. The prep didn’t realize he was dating a vampire, glowing in the sun and being pal, wearing a black tank and grey sweatpants.

 

   He plopped onto the couch, taking off his wrapped pink jacket around his neck, revealing a white t-shirt with a stunning pink sunset on it. He also had pink cargo shorts, knee high white socks and pink converses, which he thrown to the wall from his feet as if they were nothing but bugs. “I thought the meeting would never end…”

“Another council meeting?” Felix wondered, pausing his game to listen to his boyfriend’s rant.

“You have no idea,” he huffed, turning to face the TV. “Ms. Fillmore wouldn’t stop talking about smallest things! The trash can being inconvinient for her own sake and how study periods were too loud without the whispering rules.”

“Thank god I’m not in her class,” Felix did his best to offer any acknowledgement that he was listening.

“You don’t even go to class!”

    His mid pout was interrupted by Kevin coming in, puffing and wiping his forehead. His white tank top was now grey from his body sweat, wearing yellow shorts and his favorite sneakers, which were more worn than life itself. Adrian followed behind him, whining.

“Huwaaahhh~!” Adrian sighed out, going to the table and giving out a breath of satisfaction to the cool wood. However, he didn’t object much to the hot weather; afterall, Kevin’s abs were clearly traced by his wet shirt.

“Aww, was it too hot, dumpling?” Felix asked, getting up and going to the fridge. He took out a cold can of What a Lime Time soda, offering it to the tired nerd. He took one look at the precipitation dripping from the can as it was transferred to a whole different environment before grabbing it and greedily popping open the tab to guzz it down. “S-slow down, don’t choke!”

    After a few monsterous gulps, the pastel boy sighed out again with a smile.

“Thank yooouuu!” he happily held Felix’s hands. Felix only blushed, but chuckled nonetheless as his boyfriend’s cute appreciation.

“Anything, red bean,” he tassled Adrian’s pastel green and yellow hair. “Maybe that outfit though wasn’t the best to wear for warm weather.”

    Adrian sheepishly looked at his own attire, wearing a large oversized yellow hoodie covered in bunnies and strawberries, green short shorts, knee high yello socks and admittedly adorable green flats.

“Ahaha… M-maybe….!”

“Hey can I have a can?” Kevin interrupted the little chat. Felix nodded and got two cans out; Blasting Berry Power and Banana Strawberry Twist. After everyone had their collective sodas and sighs, Kevin decided to start the conversation. “Does anyone have anything planned tonight?”

“Thank GOD no…!” Vincent scoffed.

“Nu uh, I don’t think so,” Adrian shook his head in thought.

“Other than video games, nothing,” Felix offered a shrug.

“Well great!” Kevin clapped his hands. “Stay dressed then, ‘cause I’m thinking we could go for some ice cream!”

   A series of gasps and sparkling eyes told Kevin all he needed.

“Ugh, wait I have to change!” Vincent pouted.

“My sweat ruined this blazer!”

“Aww no!” Adrian gasped.

“Ruined?” Felix laughed a little, holding Vincent’s chin up. “You give that shirt the name blaxer by just wearing it…~”

“A-ah n-no don’t…!” The blonde looked away, covering his face, which was already five different shades of red. “Why do you always have to embarrass me!?”

“Cause I’m your boyfriend? It’s my job?” Felix offered as an answer.

“Now now, let’s all start heading out and not get anymore heated…!”

    And so, they were all outside, Vincent’s outfit changed despite any protests and he did convince Felix to get out of his pajamas. Vincent was now sporting a strawberry low v cut top tucked into a pair of high waist shorts with three golden buttons on the front, low white socks and his best pink shoes, also showing off a pair of pink sunglasses.

    Felix was forced to wear a zip up black tank, dark purple leggings, and high buckled black boots. They got to a quaint ice cream shop, Adrian already obsessing about the decorations of cones and sprinkles.

“It’s so cute!” he tittered, glancing at everything. Inside, the cool air already put the gang at ease. Going up to the counter, they all looked at the menu.

“Oooh taikayi please!” the pastel nerd bounced up and down. “With strawberry ice cream!”

“Mm… Black berry milkshake with cherry,” Felix decided.

“Peanut butter and caramel mini sundae!” Kevin announced.

“Gimmie the Golden Leaf Chocolate Blast,” Vincent offered some bills. With the orders taken, they waited by a table near a window. “I hate the hot weather…” Vincent complained. “It’s hot and icky and gross and hot…!”

“I know, Butterbean,” Kevin pat his head. “Ice cream will make it all better, though.” 

    After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, they finally got their ice creams, admiring them.

“So kawaiiiiii!” Adrian gasped. His taiyaki was a pink fish waffle cone with a pink and white swirl of ice cream, pink pocky, strawberry slices, white pearl sprinkles and it was oozing cherry glaze from the lips of the fish.

“Oh wow…!” Kevin mustered out, eager to dig in. The cup the ice cream was in was a blue cup with an ice cream logo on the front. Then inside was a yellow tan ice cream piled perfectly. On top was a swirl of generous caramel, salt, chocolate chunks embedded in the frozen treat, amd a cherry on top of a mini mountain of whipped cream with a blue spoon resting on the edge.

“Aaah perfect,” Felix said before taking his sip. A malt cup with a purple liquid with black specks and small red dots inside, indicating cherries. Whipped cream piled on top, another cherry, two blackberries on each side, a chocolate dipped wafer and an optional spoon next to the obvious choice of a straw, both baby blue.

“Oooh, I’ll say~!” Vincent applauded his frozen treat as if it did a trick for him. A large chocolate dipped waffle cone with deep rich chocolate scoops inside and a baked cookie resting to the side with two chocolate pocky. Then there were brownie pieces on the bed of creamy goodness along with a dark chocolate syrup and little pieces of edible gold leaf.

“Wait wait!” Adrian stopped them. “Let’s take a picture? Psweaase…?”

    How could they object to that face? They posed for the photo, hunched in as Adrian took the picture, pleased with how it looked. When it was all said and done, they dug in happily.

    Laughs were shared as Adrian’s face was covered with ice cream, not objecting to Felix cleaning his face. Vincent would pout how he’s not getting ‘face pats’, and Felix would wipe his clean face as well. Kevin boasted how basketball was won by one point from his team and although it wasn’t his play, it was one he admired and aspire to achieve. His boyfriends offered unconditional support for that. After a few more flirts, they finished up and got home when the sun set down, almost smiling as big as they all were. They had to do this again tomorrow.

[chydimaone]

#TOM BROWN

Tom brown is a perfect food to wean your baby with.

Tom brown is nutritious and great.

A lot of people often ask questions about where they can buy Tom Brown mix in Nigeria. But rather than buy Tom brown, why not make it yourself at home?

Below is a step by step guide on how to make your own Tom Brown mix from scratch.

What makes up Tom brown mix is a mixture of cereals (yellow corn, guinea corn and millet) and legumes (soybeans and groundnuts) As well as possibly other optional ingredients. The cereals and legumes add a variety of nutrients beneficial to baby's good health to the meal.

Adult can take Tom brown as well. It's not for children only please.

Okay! Let's go to the kitchen 🍴🍽️

What you need for your tom brown..:

- 1/2 paint rubber Millet

- 1/2 paint rubber Guinea corn

1/2 paint rubber Yellow corn

1/4 paint rubber Soybeans

3 cup Groundnut

1 cup debino (dates)

1 cup crawfish

1 tablespoon powdered ginger

2 cups dried sweet potato powder

Procedure

1. Buy dried Yello corn from the market, then roast it on fire until its turn brown and just before it starts popping like popcorn, remove it, leave to cool ( You can fry the two different types of corn together).

2. Fry your groundnut and Guinea corn separately

3. Fry the millet and the soya bean. You have to fry everything separately

4. After frying the soya beans, grind softly with mortal and pestle to remove the shaft, blow the shaft away with your mouth) You can equally wash soyabean in boiling water and raise in cool water. Dry in sun or oven.

5. Leave everything to cool

6. Combine all the ingredients together, if you have a high powered blender you can blend the mixture with your blender but if not, take it to the local mill to blend. The mixture should be blended dry (Do not add water!)

7. Your Tom Brown mixture is ready! Pour it inside a dry container and preserve it

How to prepare Tom Brown porridge:

It's one thing to make the powder, it's another to know how to prepare it so it doesn't turn out lumpy, the key to achieving a silky smooth porridge is to stir it constantly especially at the beginning of the cooking just like semo).

Place a small pot on fire, pour small water into it, then make a thick mix of tom brown with water and pour it into the pot

Using a turning stick, turn until there's no lump in the mixture

Continue turning it until it becomes thick like a custard and looks cooked

The fire should be on a medium heat, cook for about 7 minutes until it becomes firm, cooked and smooth.

Good luck...

[pastelphantasia]

my religii: past*L

goals of my empyyr [[[past*L]]]:

B00K WUN: UUN!VERSAL PEACE

Zzz. uuniversal peace!!

B00K TWO: L0CHNESS

Zzz. lochness, narwhal, moon dreamers, stacey™ barbie to with lavender eyes, exotykka stacey™ with lavender eyes, kawaii, wynken &blynken &nod, and fantasia everything and revelations of them [my o w n characters and creatures. invented by moi!!] printed on my klothes and just... o n everything, head*to*toe. plus make them alone the new like polka dot and stuff too. the new pattern. cause polka dots and stripes and all those are like some of the world's most repetitively, annoyingly, uunimaginatively worn things. and i just somehow never see lochness and narwhals in haute fashion magazines in patterns on the clothes or even anywhere at all. it's so stupid. and i bought like allll of the mags for the longest time... so stupid.

Zzz. lochness zippers. S. pastel exotica joseph's coat rose zippers where every part's like a different color.

Zzz. joseph's coat rose everything... barely*there yellow rose everything. barely-there green rose everything. succulent plant everything.

Zzz. go overboard with wearing innovative pajamas out of the house and wearing innovative rompers out of the house....

Zzz. have your stuphh custom*made phor uu by a haute couture designer or haute make it on your own.

Zzz. chinese checkers, string figure games, and stiruup pants everything and revelations of them [moi own ideas again] everything!!!

Zzz. black-eyed peas (the food) everything. cranberry sauce everything. honey wheat bread everything.

Zzz. seaphoam green, teal, and coral everything. seaphoamista. tealista. coralista.

Zzz. bring bakk moondreamers.™

Zzz. i'm making stiruup pants my jeans. then if i d o wear jeans they can be stirrup pant jeans. but only if they're really rare. cause the world will never stop with jeans and I don't like it. yikes. and i wanna make stirrup pant: PJ's, panty hose, thigh-highs, onesies\rompers. and striruup pants of all haute innovative kinds kan be to me what like red lipstick is to gwen stefauni and what jeans are to the boring, boring w o r l d . gwen:redlipstick=me:stiruuppants.

Zzz. ZER0 pockets or peaking pockets or triangular pockets as often as everyone wears plain, same*old pockets… especially on stirrup pants!!

Zzz. stirrup shirts. where stirrups can just go around her hands. or something' like it.

Zzz. lima bean, penne, and water chestnut everything.

Zzz. a lot of barely-there-yellow sprinkled with red, purple, and green... like vegan macaroni salad.

Zzz. blossom print's like one of the only normal prints i wanna keep.

Zzz. white*chocolate*white everything.

Zzz. female lochness and narwhal exotykka chinese checkers board games... eye want to sell them with my fashion lines!!!

Zzz. make string figure game fishnet panty hose in exotykka dusk colors . . .

Zzz. lochness and narwhal *sequined lipgloss!!

Zzz. lochness monster, narwhal, and\or centaurette *sequined, thiKk, exotica pastel false lashes are my black mascara.

Zzz. universal peaceagain. eye*m peaceable. yayy.

Zzz. i'm a people*person and a peacemaker.

Zzz. dye narwhals and lochness into your hair.

B00K THREE: P H A U N *

Zzz. phaun (gwen stephauni) + gog (lady gaga) + catra\shear

Zzz. make your own symbol like Vivienne westwood's 0rb out of like string figure games and the chinese checkers board star and lochness and narwhals or somethin'.

Zzz. dye haire platinum blonde sometimes but:

💛 o n l y as a k a n v a s .

Zzz. try platinum blonde with: a teal underside and a seaphoam green shell pattern on top… z. i want barely*there*yellow square patches on the underside in with the top layer dyed australian shepherd puppii print (all patchy) in pastel dusk colors. i want square dyed patches of different pastel colors: lavender, barely there yello, lilac, periwinkL, and nevereth pink (joseph's coat rose plus lilac!!!) australian shepherd patches of different colors like pastel joseph's coat rose colors… magenta and barely-there yellow giraffe print dyed into it with a lavender underside. etk la la la la la la la.™

...your name will never change...

Zzz. gwen mix and don't match barbie™ infinitii. no one will ever not match. i'd rather friggin like lochness c l a s h . but only iff it's lochness clashing...

Zzz. make the string figure game shapes and the chinese checkers star shape into patterns too.

Zzz. phorm band: the lola's coat roses of past*L.

Zzz. my\our discography rough drafted:

Zzz. go on werld tour.

Zzz. travel werld.

Zzz. ssey(see) everything!!!

Zzz. go to maya.

Zzz. australia.

Zzz. tokyo.

Zzz. paris.

Zzz. everywhere nice in california.

Zzz. back to the b a n d .

Zzz. frontwoman.

Zzz. stage name: past*L Lochness Lola dusk pearLike.

Zzz. past*L= i am so past hell. like, hell's wrong. no one should have ever gone. no one should die. ever. it doesn't defend anyone. 🏵🌺☀🎈

Zzz. to symbolize salvation& peace between heaven, the earth, and hell: devil and demon gone fairytale - {{asymmetrical} (long then short) flouffy pastel exotykka horns [like john galliano's for dior {above and\\ bel0} and red or orange or yellow tiger-striped wuns). devil gone storybook. ({short} flouffy pouffy demon horns in violet, ruby, marigold and emerald). devil gone nursery rhyme (wynken, blynken, nod in partik). demonology gone enchantress (princess hats used as horns). demonology gone fantasia (magenta, yell0 and lavender flouffy, fluffy horns for tails. innovatyvv fashionyysta.) all like the j.g. haute horns in the above and below pictures.

Zzz. make lochness and narwhal chinese checkers and string figure games and sell them with yer fash line...

Zzz. obsessively clean out vivienne westwood!!! have her 0rb everywhere!!!!

Zzz. serendipity should be a more popular phorm of phate than it is.

Zzz. e p h e r v e s c ! k a everything!!! [see lipstick and lipgloss bel0.]

Zzz. be rich and famous like p h a u n * (gwen stefani). and ari m. and riri. and gog. put together.

Zzz. 4 mansions in tahiti. 4 mansions in kentucky. 4 mansions in california.

Zzz. wear bindis as often as people wear black maskara, too. er in p l a c e of blakk maskara. and follow and set bindi and bindi*like trends . . . mookaite bindis, mookaite thigh bands, horse of a different color bindis, face paint, stamps

Zzz. form tribes of rare deities to go on oddysseys and voyages with you and write and perform ballads and odes with you. the dreamlike tribe. the pastimesstruck tribe. the dazestruck crew. the dream*struck tribe. the splendrou tribe. etk.

Zzz. form crews. to go on crusades with...

Zzz. come up with oddysseys and voyages to go on… diversify oddyssey. magnetyyzm oddyssey. oddysseys to save the narwhals. 💜 enigma voyage. dynamic voyage. voyage to phind the lochness monster. etk.

Zzz. come up with crusades for you and your crews to go on.

Zzz. name your daughter(s): tigerlily (lola dusk mcgregor), pearadis (leila mcgregor), stargazely (lilah mcgregor), sighberia (leelee pearlie mcgregor)... they're like my kingston, zuma, and apollo but with girls. the boys (so far) would be: tigra (lynus joseph mcgregor) and horna (lionel howard mcgregor \"howie"). and I don't have the other two figured out yet.

Zzz. so clearly i want 4 kids: girls, boys, or a mix and they'll be my favorite things!!!!!

Zzz. eye hart lipheii!! 💛💛💛

Zzz. make tiger print as popular as cheetah print. and in white and with pastel exotykka stripes. or pastel exotykka with white stripes. phauxii phaux, of course.

Zzz. mookaite everything while everyone else does amethyst:

[mookaite's the purple, orange, and brown beads and it's said moo-kite! hehe...]

Zzz. i wanna invent an even cuter and a zillion times rarer old english text font than there's ever been.

Zzz. iwanna pioneer!!! like amelia ear(air)heart! yay!! like set trends, be inventive, be the first to duu something as cool and legendary as i kan!

Zzz. asymmetry genius.

an eiffel ((eyeful)) horse of a different color is a(') becoming bluugrass state of mind

Zzz. overdo it on supermodel*y stuphh. and beaudy queen stuphh. glow-getter makeup

Zzz. tribal face paint should be the new eyeshad0w. [like v.w.'s - vivienne westwood's bel0w on a model]

Zzz. learn to speak japanese.

Zzz. dye japanese symbols in your hair in phunn colors like pepperoncini color or blueberry tart nyx lipstick color as often as people have their hair au naturale or dyed natural colors . . . like: 虎 (tiger.) and just anything else i might want it to say.

Zzz. mongolian, moroccan, tibetan, czechoslovakian, albanian, aboriginal, lebanese, and turkish fashion made exotykka haute stacey™™™ barbie™ fashionista haute!!

[to be continued...]

[radwolf76]

Spoilers for Ep. 1 of the Loki series. Inconsequential ones, but still spoilers.

Motherfucking JOSTA Soda.

The one 90s beverage that gets none of the nostalgia hype it deserves — they'll bring back gimmicky crap like Pepsis Clear and Blue, or nasty tasty failures like Surge and Vault (oh, I can go on a massive rant about those two, but the TL;DR on it is that Coke could have just tried to market Mello Yello harder instead of competing with themselves for the second place in that category.)

But Josta, Josta was something special. Modeled after Brazilian sodas, it's caffeine came from the guaraná berry. Guaraná has a higher concentration of caffeine than even coffee beans, but according to some sources, other chemicals slow its absorption by the body, resulting in a slower burn of an effect.

Guaraná can be found in all kinds of contemporary energy drinks, but in the mid 90s it was rare in the US. The taste was like a cross between a cola, a cream soda, and maybe a touch of Faygo redpop, and was smooth as hell.

Because the soda's branding prominently featured a black jungle cat, I had been holding out hope that Pepsi would have brought the drink back in the run up to Marvel's Black Panther, as a slam dunk of a marketing tie-in. You already had the panther on the cans/bottles, and the fact that the soda's identity centers around gaining energy from an exotic plant was just even more synergy.

Of course, that didn't happen. But then the MCU just casually drops some cans in to the Loki series as an easter egg. While I'm thrilled it's getting any attention, I'm furious about the missed opportunity.

[dailyantiques]

“Friendly” letter (18 Sept, 1951)

Antiques Daily - Day 1 (5/1/20)

[image text below photos]

I want to start this blog off right with one of my personal favorite letters. 

This letter is written by an American named Jane Talbitt to their presumably German friend Egon. I have to give Jane credit for pulling off this wonderfully petty and backhanded writing so elegantly. 

Throughout the letter Jane remarks on the “messy international situation” and makes reference to the fortune and luxury of the USA as compared to other countries at this time. It is unclear whether the clear tension between the two corespondents is due to international politics (perhaps some anti-German sentiment left over from WWII), or simply a personal grudge.

On the back of the letter is printed a recipe for Boston Baked Beans. I have not attempted to follow it, mainly because for something that takes 6-8 hours to cook it just doesn’t sound that appetizing. If any bean fans try it though, please let me know how it turns out. 

Now enough of my commentary and on to what you actually want to read. The full transcript of the letters will be below the photos if you don’t want to try and read Jane’s handwriting (which is quite good, to be fair) through your screen.

[Front page: Illustration of a woman stoking a fire at the top, more flowery patterns and cooking supplies line the border]

[Back page: No illustrations, only writing]

[Third page: No illustrations, only writing]

[Fourth page: Flowery illustrations around edges, pre-printed recipe in center]

Dear Egon

What a nice surprise to receive your card from Switzerland. Aren’t you lucky tho! Did you visit the same people you did last year? Judging from the post card, Lurich is very beautiful. I’m so glad you had an opportunity to have a vacation there.

What are you doing with yourself? I had decided that you did not wish to write anymore - so I stopped too.

Have you been terribly busy at the University? And are you still working the same job you were when we met you?

I almost thought I‘d get to Frankfurt this year - as a teacher for the G.I. children. But the pay was considerably under my present salary and the vacation entirely inadequate. I would hate to come to Europe to teach and not have time to travel rather extensively. Better that I work here and spend my summers abroad, although even that hope is becoming remoter each month. Oh well, one cannot always do what they wish. Right.

Part of my summer was spent at Cape Cod, Massachusetts, a truly lovely old place. This stationary is from there. Quaint isn’t it. The recipe is an old New England one. Mabe your mother would like to try it out. 

How is the messy international situation affecting you personally? Will you be part of the West German Army if there is one? How do you and your friends feel about this? Quite an era we live in, don’t you think! 

The so call Dark Ages could hardly be darker. And yet there is a glimmer of hope - and a challenge to meet. Of course we shall be victorious in the end.

We in the U.S. are indeed conscious of what  is going on in the world - especially with our boys dying in Korea. But what must be done must be done. The price of living is quite high here and our taxes getting more tremendous each year. But with all we are still the most fortunate country in the world and this is still the “good life” in spite of what some disgruntled persons would have you believe.

 I do hope you can get to our lovely America someday Egon, and see for yourself.

Please do write if you get time won’t you. Have a pleasant autumn season.

Your American friend,

Jane Talbitt

--- Boston Baked Beans ---

Soak 3 cups pea beans overnight in cold water. Drain and put in bean pot. Mix together 2 tsps. salt - 3 tbsps. molasses - 2 tbsps. brown sugar and 1/2 tsp. dry mustard. Add to seasonings enough boiling water to cover beans. Mix together and pour over beans in pot. Cut 1/2 lb. salt pork into pieces and bury in beans. One onion or more may be buried in beans for extra flavor. Dried lima, red kidney or yellow eyed beans may be baked the same way. Bake in oven 300 degrees - 6 to 8 hours. Serves 12

[kcmorcbi-blog]

tom holland + cismale + he/him + reactive evolution.┊ ❛ ━ hey, is it just me or do you hear old town road by lil nas x playing in the distance ? oh, that’s just ridley vidraru, a twenty-one year old busboy. according to my sources, i heard he can be neutral good and is adaptable, but also reserved. that’s probably why they remind everyone of the smell of leather, large barn doors, and roosters crowing so much ! anyway, whether or not they’re in favor of the supers, crystalline city is keeping a close eye on them ! (lucy, seventeen, hast, they/them )

hello hello !! iʻm just gonna preface by saying that you should probably read kacchanʻs intro for luca first for a little more context because these two are related !! they actually cover the whole event over there but........

to sum up, ridley grew up on a big ʻole farm with a big ʻole family. he had a twin sister with whom he was always very close with. together, they learned magic from their father and wizard that was a family friend. when he was thirteen, shit hit the fan. in order to protect him and his sister, his father sent them through a portal with an endpoint that wasnʻt known to anyone and………..

p o s t - Y E E T ( a. k. a  c o u n t r y  b o y  i n  t h e  b i g  c i t y !! )

he ended up on the outskirts of the city. not exactly the best place for an unaccompanied thirteen year old whoʻd never been too far from the countryside before.

through the jump, he somehow got separated from his sister. he doesnʻt know if that was a condition that his father put into the portal or if something happened mid-trip, but suddenly he was alone for the first time in his life.

 he was never really good with the transporting aspect of magic like his pops was, and there was a sinking feeling in his stomach telling him that there was no way he was getting back home anytime soon unless his father found him.

he waited for weeks -- months, really, but who was counting ?? he was. -- for his pops to figure something. or for his sister to find him. then he tried to figure something out himself. see, the main problem was that he was thousands of miles from being anywhere close to back home and he had zero ways of getting there. this was DEVASTATING to him.

so, he gave up. not really. he always carried a determination to search for them. but for the time being, he wasnʻt really focusing on getting home. he just...adapted. that was always what he did best with the magic that he got from his dad and then wizard: changing to fit the environment best.

he took up odd jobs around downtown. mostly house maintenance and chores that people didnʻt want to call professionals for. he eventually tried his best to bounce around, taking jobs at places that lasted a little longer and, since he was essentially homeless, whose owners let him stay there through the entirety. he took up as many as he could so he would never have time to himself to think about things.

eventually, he made his way to some of the nicer parts of town and stumbled upon a horse stable. it was one of those nice ones where rich people kept their horses for jumping or for races. they just so happened to need an experienced stable-hand.

ridley got the job and having grown up around horses, managed to prove himself enough that they kept him long-term. they set him up with a little trailer near the stables so he could be close enough the horses when they needed him.

eventually, he got a himself a part-time job also working as a busboy ( because i forgot i put busboy on the app before i thought of this stablehand thing ) and earned enough money to buy himself a shitty little laptop so he could finish his schooling.

now, heʻs doing college online and gonna try and become a vet !! he might focus primarily on the equine but for now, itʻs just a general course.

power-wise, he !! is a magic cowboy !! he was getting lessons in magic from both his father and the wizard that lived with them, which were obviously cut short when they got separated. before that, however, he became very adept in defensive magic. this is what he honed throughout the years and is his main specialty.

he calls it reactive evolution because thatʻs essentially all he does. he gets placed in a situation and changes himself in order to survive best. for example, if you were to throw him underwater, heʻd grow gills and webbing between his fingers and toes. if you were to shoot at him, suddenly heʻd be made of steel.

living on his own in the city helped hone that skill more than anything. he made out very well on the streets specifically because of his skill set. anything that happened to him, he was able to keep himself long enough to safely get away.

so !! that’s it !! he’s a poor cowboy with a GED trying to work through online college and working as much as he can with his very limited resources to find his missing family.

t h e  m a n ,  t h e  m y t h ,  t h e  c o w b o y  ( p e r s o n a l i t y )

the’s a bit of a rascal at heart who doesn’t let himself cut loose too much. kind of what happens when you grow up having to take care of yourself.

HOWEVER !! if you get to know him,,,,,,,,gain his trust,,,,,,maybe heʻll open up and be the goof he is at heart hmm who knows anything can happen

pls break his walls down i double dog dare you

heʻs very hard working. heʻs the type of person that enjoys doing manual labor. like, he genuinely likes lifting hay bales and doing maintenance so heʻs always looking for anything he can get his hands on and fix. he tends to get a little stir crazy if heʻs not doing something productive.

he fucking loves animals. this mans adores any and all animals. heʻs partial to horses but he will fall in love with any type of non-human creature. if you want to be his friend, just say you have a pet cat or something.

heʻs literally the loneliest little bean. this is a mans who was part of a matching set for most of his formative years and then had that ripped away from him very abruptly. he misses his family so much but after nearly a decade, heʻs gotten better at hiding it. this is probably why he imprints on animals so much

he seriously is a weird little hermit who doesnʻt do anything for fun so pls !! take this mans out !! heʻs dork but heʻll probably be fun for something i guess !! heʻs got an accent and some sturdy boots !! idek what else pls just throw yourself at him cause heʻs shy. but still a dork. who knows whatʻll happen ?? not me !!

T L ; D R

yello !! iʻm your local gayby, lucy !! and here is my son, ridley. he is also lucaʻs son. that would make him kacchanʻs grandson. lmao oldie. anywho, basically,,,,,,,heʻs got the horses in the back. horse tack is attached. hat is matte black. got the boots thatʻs black to match.

[deardonia]

Did (JENNA COLEMAN) just arrive in Redmour? No, it’s just (DONIA HARLYN BRADY). (SHE/HER) is a (THIRTY-ONE) year old (HUMAN). You can normally find them at (REDMOUR DAYCARE) they are the (OWNER). I heard that they were (HUMBLE) and (GENEROUS) but also (COWARDLY) and (SUBMISSIVE).

yello! my name is colleen, i’m 18, and i have no self-control. instead of studying for AP tests, i scrolled through rps and found this little gem! my timezone is CST, my cat is a cutie, and i enjoy playin’ soccer. otherwise, i dabble in lotsa stuff; from musicals to marvel. now that i’ve told you my life story, i’ll spill the beans on little ol’ doni. but go ahead and like this post, so that i’ve got permission to send you a message for plotting!

being human, donia didn’t have a whole lot to learn from. she can’t live till she’s two hundred or not die from, well, really anything. her time is limited and she’s been made more than aware.

a sweet southern belle, she’d moved to Washington for true love (if you could call it that). more so, it was a relationship she should never have pursued. dragging such few belongings along with her, she found that it wasn’t her significant other that allowed her to prosper; it was Washington itself. her dependency disintegrated.

what do you know, her relationship disintegrated as well. there’s something about your significant other making more than you when that had never been the plane that really ruffles people’s feathers. her news of pregnancy did little to soften the blow. everything ended with a sting. 

and yet things didn’t end. she continued on, dug that Georgian grit from her bowels and put in weeks more of hours, got a promotion, worked full time to eat well until her son was born and then made sure he ate well. 

doni learned it was all for naught not very long after. the revelation of supernatural things was, for a lack of better words, a downer. but it was also an opportunity. she waded in deep waters of how fragile her and her son were, but understood more than most that if she did not try to be welcoming and kind to new ideas, she was no better than her ex or the close-minded family she abandoned in Georgia. 

new towns springing from the dirt were also a gold mine for those who rolled into action in time. she was more than prepared to attempt to make a better life for her family by borrowing the money needed for her daycare. 

nonetheless, her morals enrapture her completely and her stutter complicates the pioneer she’s become. never could she think herself fierce or raise her voice without extreme guilt: mostly a product of socialization.

she makes enough to get by, but is also known to man the daycare herself. yet with a three-year-old son, she struggles more than she’d like to admit.

as for her ex, he was found dead and not far from Redmour. whether doni is aware is a mystery as well as whether she could have had anything to do with it.

if you have any master plans for a gr8 plot, seriously, don’t hesitate; pop in. i am legit down for the sickest plot ya’ll have. and i don’t bite!

[queennicoleinboots]

Mothman Attacks Peter's Canned Goods

"What the fuck? Why is there a gigantic moth eating my canned goods?" Peter screamed.

That bullshit was what I walked on in THIS time. The same moth from last year's razzle dazzle bullshit in March 2020 returned to attack Peter's pantry once more.

"Get out of my house! Get out of my house!" Peter said through gritted teeth. "I thought I left you behind on Earth!" He screamed. A giant moth followed Peter around when he lived on Earth. There was a moth attack in his house led by Mothman back in 2019 and in 2020.

"You followed us here!" Godiva screamed at Mothman. "Get that moth out of my house! God Forbid someone pays for their groceries!" She threw a rolling pin at Mothman.

Mothman turned to her, took a bag of cornmeal out of her pantry, and flew at her. "Hey bitch!" he yelled with a booming voice as he went toward her.

"Ah!!!" she uttered as she tried to take the bag of cornmeal away from the big ass moth.

"I will reproduce in your cornmeal bag that you paid for. Please offer your vaginal secretions," said Mothman.

"No way. Those strictly stay in my panties!" she said as she took the bag of cornmeal.

A can of corn flew right the fuck at Mothman's head and hit it. When Mothman's head exploded, tons of moths flew out of his head and went after everything in the pantry.

"Oh Goddammit! How the fuck was I supposed to know THAT was gonna happen?!" Peter said as he threw his hands in the air.

"I don't know, but you're an idiot right now," Godiva said as she threw the can of corn at Peter's head.

Peter dodged it and looked at her with wide eyes. "Jesus, Mom! You could have fucking knocked me out!" Peter yelled at her before he threw a can of green beans at her head. "How do you like this?"

She deflected it with a pizza pan and threw a jug of vinegar at his head. "You deserved it, you pisshead!" she yelled at him.

The jug of vinegar exploded and melted some of the moths. Some vinegar also exploded all over Peter's white shirt.

"Oh Goddammit, Godiva!" he growled as he took his shirt off and wrung it out on some of the remaining moths.

Whines and screams of suffering moths could be heard as Peter and Godiva were throwing vinegar jugs, cleaning supplies, pots, pans and canned vegetables at each other.

I stared at this furious family and blinked. "Do you want me to call a Moth Busters company?" I asked with a chuckle. I tried very hard to stifle my laughter.

Godiva and Peter turned toward me with stares of hatred. "Yesss!" they both said with gritted teeth.

"Okay then," I said as I began to dial 1-900-FU-MOTHS. 800 numbers weren't accessible in outer space. The toll-free numbers started with 900 here.

"Hey Godiva. You should throw balsamic vinegar at Peter," I said with a grin. "I think you about threw everything else at him today."

"Good idea, Xara," she said as she opened the refrigerator and threw the balsamic vinegar at Peter.

He caught it and grinned. "Haha. I caught it! Hehe," he said as he started spraying some on the moths. "Take this, you stupid fuckers!"

"Try throwing borax on his head," said Godiva.

"Good idea," I said as I sneaked into the laundry room, grabbed a box of Borax and sprayed Peter with it. I killed a few moths in the process.

Peter was grunting and swearing. His body was covered in borax. He brushed some off his chest before taking the box of borax out of my hand and pouring the rest of it on me.

I laughed and sprayed vinegar on him.

"Oh come on, Xara! Give me that!" he yelled as he took the bottle from me and sprayed the whole pantry. "We have to clean this whole fucking pantry out! Sigh!"

Godiva walked in and put Peter's dirty shirt in the washing machine. She added more laundry before starting the machine. "If you guys don't mind," she said as she bumped into Peter as she walked. "I'm going to take a nice, long hot shower. My clothes are sticking to me."

"Oh sure, Mom. You get to take a nice hot shower! Meanwhile I'm covered in borax, vinegar, and EVERYTHING ELSE YOU threw at me today!" Peter yelled at her as she walked away.

"That's because I'm head of household and the queen of the house. Meanwhile, you're a lowly prince who is tall enough to clean the pantry," she said as she lightly flipped her wispy gray hair with her right hand, turned around, and looked at him. "Besides, you being covered in borax is a sign of a hard-working man." She grinned as she walked away.

"Mhm," I said as I climbed on a ladder and started to help him clean stuff.

"Grgrrrrggggrrrrr women! Besides, you're one to talk. You have to help me CLEAN this mess," he said with a grin. "It's all over my fucking glasses." He took his glasses off and cleaned them.

"I'm well aware, duckhead," I said as I threw a can of succotash at his head. Apparently, the combination of tomatoes, corn, and lima beans is popular on this Green Planet AND in the Southern United States. Apparently, we landed in an area that would be considered similar to the South... on another planet.

He growled as I heard the can bounce off his head. I could feel him shooting lasers out of his eyes onto the back of my head. "I didn't need that."

"You sure?" I asked as I threw a box of something similar to raisins at him.

"Oh I don't know! Cleaning the pantry is driving me crazy," he said as he took a rag and cleaned the cans off. The moths already made several larvae on the cans and everything else. Peter was sighing and swearing. He looked like he would rather do anything else besides what he was doing. "You know what else pisses me off? I have to work tomorrow."

I burst out laughing as I sprayed and wiped down the shelves. I was too busy laughing my head off at an extremely angry Peter. I, too, would have rather been doing anything besides dealing with Mothman's bullshit army.

"Oh fuck you. You know, I really hate my job sometimes. And you know the fucking kicker?" Peter asked as he slammed a can of pork and beans on the floor. "I'm not going to look much different than what I do now!"

It was true. He was now a pizza delivery boy who somehow always managed to get flour or borax on himself. I assume it's a result of space trash.

"Oh thank God. Then I'm glad you're going to work tomorrow. Where are you going?" I asked.

"To Bluto, the so-called planet in the galaxy right past the Milky Way!" he answered before he made a stupid face and made a stupid noise to go with it.

I cracked up again. I was spraying randomly and trying to clean, laugh, and breathe at the same time. I took more cans off the shelf and set them on the floor before spraying and cleaning the shelves.

His phone beeped. "I'm 56. People text me?" He got up and went to get his phone. He looked at it. "Be there at 9 a.m., mother fuckers!"

"Your job said 'mother fuckers,'" I asked.

"Noooo. I just added it in there," he said as he grumbled and cleaned boxes and cans in his jeans that were covered with borax and vinegar.

"Who wants pizzas at 9 a.m.?" I asked.

"A bunch of higgggghhhhh mother fuckers," Mothman said as he leaned on the doorway with his right ankle crossing over the left. He now had two heads.

"Ughhhh. I thought we got rid of you," Peter said.

"Yeah. The moth busters were supposed to be here by now," I said.

"If you thought things took forever on Earth, they take even longer here," Mothman said. "Moth Busters are coming from 10 light years away."

Peter rolled his eyes and said, "Oh geez!"

"If you weren't covered in Borax and Vinegar, I'd hug you just to add to your pain and suffering," Mothman said.

Peter raised his eyebrow and chuckled. "What? No! There is no way I'm hugging a moth. Hahahahahahaha!!!! Why would you send your army to destroy my houses?"

"Because you're a fucking asshole," Mothman said. "And you have destroyed my home as much as you destroyed my head. I now have two heads thanks to you and the reaction to this new planet." It was true. This Green Planet definitely has some crazy-looking creatures.

"Whoa!" Peter said as he looked up at Mothman. "I destroyed YOUR home. Bro! Moths were coming out of MY toilet on Earth, and I destroyed YOUR home? I think you got this fuckin' backwards, dude!" Peter let out his trademark loud laugh. But on this planet, it brought upon cherubs who liked to sing the last sentence he just spoke.

So a bunch of cherubs sang, "I think you got this fuckin' backwards, dude!"

"'Maybe," Mothman said. "We're not on Earth anymore."

"Definitely not. And I couldn't be happier," Peter said.

"Same. Earth is burning from within," Mothman said. "That's another reason why I flew out of that planet."

"Are you an intergalactic space traveler?" I asked.

"Yes," Mothman said.

His pager started to beep. He mumbled in moth language and answered it. "Yello!"

"Yellow is the color of your energy!" a woman on the other line sang.

"And the cat sours the basil. What's your point?" Mothman asked.

"When are you getting home? The kids need fed!" the woman asked.

"Soon! I'm well aware. 200 of them died on the mission to destroy Peter's sanity," Mothman said.

"Did it work?" the woman asked.

On cue, Peter took a deep breath and let out a blood curdling scream that broke the sound barrier again. Even George, George of the Jungle asked what was wrong.

Joebear yelled in the distance, "Get the fuck out of here! Get the fook out of here."

The planet turned upside down, and Godiva floated in the air in a bathrobe as she emerged from her bedroom.

"Answers my question. Are you on your way home?" Mothman's female partner asked.

"Yeeeessss!!!" Mothman said with a proud smile as he flew through Peter's ceiling.

"Goddammit! Goddammit! Now have to fix the hole in the ceiling!!!!" Peter shouted as he used his whole right arm to point to the gigantic hole in the ceiling.

The house breathed and started to mend the hole itself.

A dark angel with large black wings was singing as he floated above the new Parker residence. He had blood red hair down to his shoulders, bluish yellowish hazel eyes with specks of green in them, a bushy reddish brown beard, and a pointy nose. He was 15 feet tall and wore a black cape, a black long-sleeved button-down shirt, a tie with the design of fire on it, black slacks, a black belt with fire around it, and black dress shoes.

The dark angel's voice was Heaven. The house was becoming new and fresh. Peter and Godiva bought it when it was in a decent condition. But it was not new.

Godiva had the biggest smile on her face as she heard him sing.

Peter nodded his head in approval.

Tug emerged from whatever hiding place he was in and howled in harmony with the dark angel.

The dark angel graced our home and addressed the basenji. "Great basenji. You have brought honor to this home," he spoke in a melodic voice.

Tug howled in a high-pitched tone.

"Thank you for fixing my house," Peter said.

"No problem," the dark angel said.

I looked at his features more closely and realized that he was the same angel that smited the Publix on I-11 almost three years ago. The angel was bald with no beard before. He also had white wings and wore white and khakis before. I was interested in how he transformed.

"Put the food back in the pantry, and I will tell thee my story. I will give you a hint. It was planet Earth that caused me to become dark, morose, and full of regrets. But the ending is very happy," the dark angel spoke before he turned to me with intense eyes. "Go forth! And organize! The tale is great!"

Peter and I put the cans and boxes away. We were very curious to hear his story.

(Part of it is in Taco Mac with Colonel Mac, Office Woes, the Office Got Fucked Up, and Doing Business As Swamp Business. The other parts of the story will come soon.)

[exquisitesip]

New Post has been published on https://www.buildthebottle.com/2020/09/14/vanilla-porter-beer-recipe/

Vanilla Porter Beer Recipe D.I.Y.

Vanilla Porter Beer Recipe D.I.Y.

Hey Guys and Gals!

Are you looking for an awesome Vanilla Porter Beer Recipe? You now have no reason to look any further; you have just found what you have been looking for!

Yield: 5 US Gallons

Ingredients:

9.5 lbs 2-row base malt

6 oz. Roasted Barley (500L)

4 oz. Black Patent Malt

4 oz. Chocolate Malt

4 oz. Roasted Wheat (550L)

1 oz. Glacier Hops at 5% AA (5 AAU)

0.5 oz Challenger Hops at 8% AA (4 AAU)

0.5 oz Cascade Hops at 6% AA (3 AAU)

2 Vanilla Beans

Yeast Options: Safale US-05 Dry Yeast, White Labs WLP001, Wyeast 1056.

Directions

Step 1

9.5 lbs 2-row base malt

6 oz. Roasted Barley (500L)

4 oz. Black Patent Malt

4 oz. Chocolate Malt

4 oz. Roasted Wheat (550L)

Bring the water to a a boil put in the grain the temp should fall let it simmer at 152° F for an hour.

Mash out at 170° F.

Sparge with 180° F water to make 6 gallons.

Heat to boiling and then add all of the hops.

The boil will now be for 60 minutes.

Step 2

1 oz. Glacier Hops at 5% AA (5 AAU

0.5 oz Challenger Hops at 8% AA (4 AAU)

0.5 oz Cascade Hops at 6% AA (3 AAU)

Add the beginning of the boil.

Fermentation Through Bottling Vanilla Porter Beer Recipe

Transfer the wort into the primary fermenting vessel, then top off with cold water.

Aerate the wort at this point. This can be accomplished with an aeration stone or simply by rocking the fermenter back and forth once the lid is in place.

This is the time that you will want to take a specific gravity reading. Use a hydrometer and record the reading. Your targeted gravity levels though temperature will affect so you just need within range.

Step 3

Once the wort is cooled to around 72° F, it is safe to pitch the yeast. Pitch according the proper procedures of the type of yeast you have.

Yeast Options: Safale US-05 Dry Yeast, White Labs WLP001, Wyeast 1056.

Prepare a 2L yeast starter by stirring the yeast into the water then let mixture stand in cup for 15 minutes, make sure it is bubbling and then you will add it to your beer after the beer has cooled.

Fermentation

Ferment for 1 week at yeasts suggested temp on package.

Make sure your carboy is around a third empty leaving space for frothing and foaming.

After primary fermentation rack into your secondary carboy and let sit for another week.

The less exposure to oxygen the better it will taste so be careful when you rack.

Step 4

2 Grade B Vanilla Beans (in secondary)

Chop and puree the blueberries and add to secondary carboy.

After secondary fermentation of about a week sterilize and then bottle cap. Siphon slowly so that that sediments don’t get mixed in.

Step 5

1-1/4 cups dry malt extract for priming or 3/4 cup priming sugar

Add priming sugar before bottling.

Prime and bottle. When priming, dissolve corn sugar or dry malt extract in two pints of boiling water for 5 minutes.

Pour this mixture into the empty bottling bucket and siphon the beer from the fermenter over it.

This method ensures that the priming sugar will disperse evenly through your beer.

For proper carbonation, store your beer at 75° for at least the first week after bottling.

This will allow the yeast to feed on the priming sugar and produce the necessary carbon dioxide needed for carbonation.

Congratulations, You Have Completed Making this Awesome Vanilla Porter Beer!

You now need a bottle and a label which are cool enough to compliment your hard work. Honestly, if you put it into a cheap bottle, people will make fun of you. BUT, if it looks good, people will rave about it!

Additional Info

Notes on Utensils and Ingredients

Glass is always preferable when working with strong alcohol. Avoid plastic as much as possible.

Use organic ingredients to avoid pesticide residues.

You Like Our Recipes So Try Our Vodka

YelloVodka.com

Other Great Recipes for You to Check Out!

Pumpkin Liqueur Recipe D.I.Y.

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Cucumber Gin Liqueur Recipe

Carrot Liqueur Recipe D.I.Y.

Wall Germander Liqueur Recipe

Plum Liqueur Recipe D.I.Y.

Sour Apple Cinnamon Liqueur recipe D.I.Y.

Plum Liqueur Recipe D.I.Y.

 Sour Apple Cinnamon Liqueur recipe D.I.Y.

From Our Sister Blog Terebelo.com

Marketing With Optimism

The Marketing Of My Vodka Named Yello

Sales Pitch Listen Don’t Talk

What Is In A Handshake

Be Well Rested Before A Meeting

To spirits and cheers,

Binyomin Terebelo, Master Distiller and Drinkoligist

[emelinstriker]

Lego ESAU References for Wukong and MK

Finally done fhgnfhgnhfgnf

I'll probably work on all servants/champions bit by bit in pairs of two, but here- Have your blue and yellow champion! c:

Decided to not do shading after all and just added the hair highlights and floor shadows. And of course slapped that one older doodle's torso as reference for the shoulder guard. It's already late here and I don't wanna have to spend extra time doodling on this and just go to bed fhgnfhgnhfg

Also yello bean's head is still empty, no thoughts.

Meanwhile me who was struggling trying to draw lego feet- I- Like I know it's just blocks, but that's the problem- How does one Lego-

[chilinati2]

Revisit - Blue Ash Chili

Our plans landed us near Blue Ash at lunchtime the other day, so we decided to visit another of Cincinnati’s famous independent chili parlors, Blue Ash Chili.  How is this classic spot holding up these days?  Not too bad...

Blue Ash Chili has long been a favorite of the independent chili operations, but their status seemed to get a boost after a few appearances on Food Network.  The evidence of Guy Fieri’s visit is still quite present, and in my opinion, robs the place of some of its charm... but it’s clearly a big deal for them and they are proud of it, so good for them.  They’ve opened up two other locations, in Tri-County and Mason, but for the purposes of this blog, we had to visit the original on Kenwood Road.

The restaurant is mixed bag of styles.  Outside, it looks very early 2000′s, very conservative.  Inside, things get a little more vintage with a classic steam table and lunch counter running parallel to a row of tables and booths long the wall.  Immediately to the left is an additional room of tables that seemed to have been added afterward.  Everything seems fairly original, except perhaps for the tables, which seem to have a newer retro surface.  A hodge-podge of stuff hangs on the walls.  Our booth had a vinyl copy of Rumours nailed to the wall... under a big autographed poster of Guy Fieri.

But what Blue Ash Chili is better known for is chili.  They have some very good Cincinnati chili, and they probably serve it in more ways than anyone else.  Aside from the typical coneys, “ways” and chili cheese fries, they have chili on burgers, Philly cheesesteaks, omelets and even a lasagna!  They also have some additional toppings available, like fried jalapeño caps, and some unique coney options, like the Lizard, which replaces the hot dog with a fried pickle.  Many of these items I’ve covered on the previous Tour, but for today, it’s back to the norm – a 3-way and plain cheese coney – while Traci had a 4-way onion, the kids had their usual hot dog with cheese, and our good friend, Leah, choosing a 5-way.  They also serve Coca-cola products... no Mello Yello :(

This is one good-looking spread!  The 3-way seemed especially massive (something lost in the photo), but this is what a Cincinnati chili spread should look like for sure... with the notable exception of the oyster crackers, which we had to ask for (they weren’t even offered).  For a chili parlor on a chili blog, that’s a bit of a misstep.

So... I’ve been to a Blue Ash Chili plenty of times, plenty more so than Camp Washington.  I know them to be among the top-chili parlors in town, though I did not award them a “Golden Oyster” last time around.  There was an executional consistency thing with them that always managed to make me feel like they were good, but a little over-rated.  That issue returned, as what made the 3-way so massive on this day was the extreme amount of spaghetti in proportion to the chili and cheese.  At one point, I ended up pulling clean pasta out from under the top layer so I could actually taste the chili!  And don’t get me wrong... the chili was great!  Very savory and flavorful, a bit mild but not bland.  The pasta was cooked well and the cheese spot on.  There was just way too much noodle on the plate.  I also came across the occasional bean, both in my 3-way and on my coney, and in Traci’s 4-way with onion.  We’re talking 5-6 beans total, which is a nit-picky complaint but relatively sloppy in my experience of Cincinnati chili.

A bean aside, there wasn’t really anything to complain about with the cheese coney.  It was very good.  The bun got a little soggy, but it stayed together enough to not have to use a fork.  Good hot dog, plenty of chili and cheese.  Overall, despite some small issues, I was pretty satisfied with my meal.

Traci and Leah both enjoyed theirs, though both shared the same issue of too much spaghetti; Leah was the only one to clean her oval dish (but she’s used to eating a lot of pasta)!  The kids ate their hot dogs.  I would give more credence to their opinions as far as a kids’ take on offerings for kids, but we’re still trying to figure out what they really like!  I do know that my daughter likes to have her photo taken with her dad...

So, again, I know from past experience that Blue Ash Chili makes a great chili, easily worthy of 4 Oyster Crackers.  However, I feel like execution can be an issue with them... maybe not most of the time, but enough to have taken notice.  With that grain of salt, I give Blue Ash Chili...

Final Bite... Blue Ash Chili is a classic independent chili parlor with some excellent Cincinnati chili.  When executed just right, there aren’t many better than them.

[chibispiceswayn]

So after being vegan for a little over two weeks now, I have to say I haven't felt better in my life! I haven't felt great every single day. The first three days were rough. I was achy and my head throbbed - not like a regular headache or migraine, but like a strange sensation that was uncomfortable. I was hungry a ton at the beginning and still am on certain days. But I haven't felt sluggish or that I haven't got enough rest. I've learned that watching all these videos are healthy and normal! I've learned about some really amazing vegan chefs/cooks/SAHmoms/etc. I've also learned that people can be so cruel. Friends will think it's funny to offer you bacon or a Reese's cup. Or joke about not wanting to breathe their meat breath on you. I mean it's only been 2 weeks! I ate meat for about 28 years prior to this, what's the point in being rude?! I've been a little sad that my physical appearance isn't improving or changing as much as I'd hoped. But after watching The Colorful Vegan's "How to SLAY Vegan Transitioning" I now know why. She makes a comment about how girls, mainly, go through periods of starvation to acheive weight loss and I'm no innocent when it comes to this. I spent the good part of my high school life starving myself to be thin. Literally, I ate broccoli or green beans one time a day and survived on coffee and Mello Yello. I was 107lbs and looked sickly, but I was thin! Well who knew that it would have this much of an impact on my body once I became an adult. Anyway, back to her video, she reminded me that a body that has endured that kind of stress, will always go back to survival mode. It will store fat and it will expect you to starve yourself again. I need to give my body time to trust me again. I think once my body realizes that I'm going to love and nourish it, it will work out in my favor. Everything takes time. EVERYTHING! I have fallen in love with plants. They are truly amazing. I've been doing research and watching videos/documentaries about transitioning to a whole food, plant based diet. When you start eating only plant based foods, plants change your body's structure. Instead of wasting time fighting off the horrible food you are putting into your body, it begins taking the nutrients from the plants and healing your body. It creates a defense, it reverses illness and disease. It's a beautiful and amazing process. Plants all work together for our benefit and it's insane to me that not more people take advantage of this! I'm thinking about getting blood work done after I get my eyes examined to see how my levels are. Then I can see if things are going well and if I may need to suppliment anything, which I hope I won't need to. (Speaking of which, if you go vegan, vegetarian, continue to be an ominvore, if you only love meat or you just eat junk food, TAKE A B12 SUPPLIMENT! It can only be found in water that is rich in it, which doesn't really exist anymore due to all the chemicals in the water system, dirt or feces. Plants do not create it. Neither does meat; it is not a pure source of B12, it's usually injected into the animals.) Also, if you go vegan eat your hemp, chia or flax for Omega 3's. Another thing I learned is that protein comes from plants!!! I was so afraid of not getting enough protein, but it turns out, plants are the only way animals can get protein, so why should I eat the "middle man" (so to speak) when I can go straight to the source!? My main goal is to do the impossible - beat PCOS. All doctors say that unless you go on medication, you can't control it. They also say there is no cure and that once you've been struck with it, that's it. I refuse to believe this is my destiny. I will fight everyday to overcome the odds and to become walking proof that there is healing in nature. Overall, I'm a happier person, even when days aren't great, I don't have those horrible depressed thoughts anymore. I no longer care as much about the little things that used to hold me back. I feel liberated and for the first time in forever, I'm so glad that God didn't heal me when I begged him to. Had He done that, I would still be eating horribly. I wouldn't feel this alive and I'd just be another statistic. I know this was long, but it's been an incredible 2 weeks and I can't wait to see what else is in store for me and B.

[thegraphitesword-blog]

Pride Prompt Month 15/30: Sleepover

Fandom: Be More Chill

Relationship: Expensive Headphones

Notes: Holy mother of all things pure in this world, I completely forgot that this ship existed. I have been reading stuff about Micheal and Rich becoming friends and stuff, but I forgot. SOOOOOORRY

More Notes: I gotta play the trans card sooooooo, trans bois getting together. I actually have no idea how i’m gonna do this but I have work so gotta make it happen. Also I will write Rich with a lisp but not the entire time, just as a reminder

TW: scars (old and new), burns and bruises. implied physical abuse and drinking, weed bois

Prompt: Sleepover

It was inevitable that by the time Rich had collected his things and patched up his newest wounds, his fucking dad would be face down on the table, empty bottles maned like russian security. Tonight was a relativly light night for both of them...well mostly just Rich; he got away with some cuts, a few bruises, and ringing in his ears. He had finished up and adjusted the ace bandages constricting his chest, they were hurting more than normal, but he just wanted to get out of the house.

His phone, buzzed followed by the sound you hear when you find an item in Legend of Zelda.

headphones kid: doors open, just letcha self in

Rich was excited to finally get to spend sometime with Micheal after all the shit that had happened over the last few months. The squips were gone....well, sorta, and his burns had pretty much healed-ish, and things were as back to normal as they could be. Micheal had invited him over weeks ago, but there were a lot of things that made Rich say no, the bruises and cuts were one of many. The fact that he was trans......was the big one.

But, tonight he just wanted to get away and Jake wasn’t available cause he had some meet or game. Rich pulled up google maps and started walking, Micheal lived about an hour away and since his bike was out of comission, Rich had to book it. About 20 minutes of running passed and he just had to stop, his chest hurting so much and he couldn’t breathe.

“Jethuth chritht.”

For a split second Rich groans, listening to his stupid speech impediment, something he had pretty much forgotten about when he had the squip. But, his friends didn’t mind as much, even when he tried to be harsh or intimidating, no matter how hard it was when he couldn’t fucking talk. It was beyond infuriating, the only solice he had was when Micheal told him how cute it made him. After that he only hated it when he was by himself. His phone rang, the tune of the Pac-Man theme song, 

“Yello?”

“Rich where are you?”

“On my way asshole, just give me a sec.”

He laughed cooing, “That’s my lispy boy.”

Rich yells at him to shut up, and Micheal cackles, which seemed to close to be over the phone.

“Wait, where are you?”

“Behind you.”

Rich spins around to see Micheal leaning on a light post, iconic headphones slung around his neck and in his faded hoodie. He walked over swaying to music, Rich couldn’t hear, his smile glistened in the setting sun and the shine of his glasses, caught flashed in Rich’s eyes.

“Stop stalking me.”

“I got worried cause it took you so long. Why are you walking?”

“Because.”

“well we can walk together. Dinner will be cold, but it’s not too big of a deal. I think kaldereta tastes awesome after it sits for a while.”

“Kalde-what?”

Micheal leans down stretching his back out, “I told you, tonight was special. I was going to force your white American ass to eat something with a bit more flavor. Kaldereta is just a Filipino beef stew, well it’s normally made with goat, but i thought that would be a bit much.”

Rich’s stomach turned at the thought of eating goat, “Thanks for the consideration.”

“Say consideration again.” Micheal said with a sly smile.

“NO.”

Micheal collected the dishes and kissed his mother and Nanay, thanking them for the meal and dragged Rich to the basement. Despite being weirded out by the strange flavor, only to find out it was liver, Rich did enjoy the meal and Micheal’s mothers trying to speak with him in a mix of Tagalog and English. Micheal was more than happy to translate, adding his own subtitles. They resided in the basement, infront of the TV in bean bags, smoking and passing a flask, Rich had instictivly brought. The conversation floated through many different topic only to end on a question.

“So why did you wanna come?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I wanted you to come over like weeks ago, and you just said no, fuck no, adn absolutely not. What made you change?”

Rich’s stomach dropped and it felt like the bandages across his chest just got even tighter.

“Just had free time and thit. No reathon.”

He grabbed the flask and downed the rest of it, without a thought. Micheal snorted, getting up and pulling out some games and movies, trying to see what they could do.

“Got disney, vintage, VCR, and Blu-Ray. As for games, pretty much, what don’t I have.”

Rich looked over his selection and decided some classic Disney was in order. After a marathon of, Mulan, Brave, and The Little Mermaid, Micheal was in the mood for some 7/11. Rich didn’t have any money on him, since he stopped selling squips and his dad didn’t give a shit, but Micheal got him covered. Slushies, Mountain Dew, Doritos and various candies and the two headed back. It was around 2 when Micheal noticed Rich, nodding off.

“Hey, you know that if you want to go to sleep you can. I don’t sleep till at least 4, so I don’t mind.”

“I’m not a pussy. I can stay up.”

“Sure yah can.”

Rich punched him in the arm, and picked up a controller challenging Micheal to a Mario Kart Torunement. Micheal tried his hardest to let Rich win. Which even with all the handicaps in the world, could help him. They made it half way before Rich’s controller slipped and he dropped out of  conciousness.

“Yo....Rich? Hey,” Micheal shook his friends shoulder, “Jeez, I told you you could sleep.”

He eyes flicker for a second, “Thut up.”

“Come on, buddy. My bed’s got your name on it.”

Rich leans into Micheal’s arms, as his dork friend carries him to is bed. Rich snuggles into the blankets and mumbles something, Micheal can’t hear.

“NIght, Rich.”

Micheal was playing Left 4 Dead when Rich woke up crying in pain, he freaked out immediately.

“rich! oh my god, what happened.”

“C-can’t, “He gasped, holding his chest, “Breathe.”

Micheal didn’t even hesitate to grab the hem of his shirt, but Rich scream yanking away.

“Dude, chill. I’m just gonna check the scars on your chest and make sure nothing is bruised.”

“No no, please it’s fine, I.” His voices gets cut off by coughing and another pained whine.

“Just let me help.”

Despite how much, Rich fights, Micheal pulls up his shirt and freezes. The burn mark leading into a red section of flesh, was concening, but even more so was the bandages, obviously squeezing the life out of his friend.

“Holy shit.....Rich.”

Micheal gets up quickly, and starts digging through a drawer. Rich on the other hand tries to make a run for it. He doesn’t get far before the sharp stabbing pain in his chest, causes him to freeze.

“Fuck, dude. Just chill. Take them off.”

“No way.”

“If you’re gonna bind yourself, do it right.”

The sentence frazzles him, Rich steps back, “woah wait a second.”

Micheal sighs, throwing a article of clothing at, him. “if you don’t trust me, then maybe this will help.” He pulls off his hoodie and lifts his shirt all the way up. Aside from the dozens of hashes littering both Micheal’s arms and pudgy stomach, which Rich was aware of but never seen, the black strip of fabirc across his chest was a wake up call.

“Are you fucking shitting me?”

“Nope. Anais Mell.”

He drops the shirt, but holds onto his hoodie. Rich stares at him for minutes processing the whole situation

“Abigail Goranski.”

“Okay, now that the pleasentires are out of the way, take those god damn things off. I gotta make sure you didn’t break a rib or anything. Didn’t you ever hear that Ace bandages are the most dangerous thing to bind with?”

“If you hadn’t noticed, I am not very open or supported with this whole thing.”

“Well, take them off and put that on.” 

Rich looks at what he’s holding and is shocked to find a black binder, much smaller than the one Micheal had on.

“That was mine when I was like.....14-ish. Might be a little big, but as long as you take those death traps off, you’ll be okay. Just...let me make sure you’re not gonna die?”

Reluctantly, Rich starts pulling off the tight bundle of bandages. The second they were off, he could finally breathe, even if it hurt like hell.

“Okay, give me a sec. this....will be kinda weird.”

Micheal runs a hand over Rich’s chest pressing lightly on different areas to check for tender obvious signs of a break or fracture. Nothing felt gritty, but a few areas were too tender to touch. 

“Rich, we really should take you to the hospital.”

“NO, please let’s not do that.”

Rich struggled to put on the binder, before Micheal helped and though every red flag was blaring in his mind, he decided to at least give it an hour or two.

The silence was thick and the two of them settled on Micheal’s, trying to process the fact and gravity of what just happened. Micheal drew circles in Rich’s hand trying to get him to release some tension. 

“Are you okay?”

“I....don’t know.”

They paused avoiding gaze.....

“Micheal?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I came, this was dumb and I should really just go.”

Micheal looks horrified at the thought of him leaving, especially after what just happened. He wasn’t going to let him just walk out after this kinda event and definitely not if he could be seriously hurt. Instead he watched, Rich stand unsure what he could do to make him stay. He watched his friend get to the base of the stair before an answer came, he raced behind him and carefully turned him around.

“Micheal what the fuck?”

‘He stared at Rich, glossing over freckles and burns across his cheek and resting on his eyes. Rich tried to ask again, but Micheal just mashed his lips on Rich’s. He got pushed off, the second Rich realized what was happening.

“What the fuck!!!”

“I’m sorry. i just...didn’t want you to leave and....and well I just wanted to show you I loved you.”

“Well you fucking suck at kissing, if that’s what you were trying to do.” 

More silence hung in the air, and Micheal could see the wheels turning in Rich’s head. He was convinced that he would be furious and leave him....until Rich stepped forward, and pulled Micheal down by the headphones. they met together in a hesitant kiss and this time neither pulled back.

(had work couldn’t finish it like I wanted)

[rickfuckingdalton]

Wrote this in 2001

Adam Sandler - Nicky

Ben Stiller - Greg

Drew Barrymore -Kristi

Cameron Diaz -Jenni

Matt Dillon - Jenni’s Brother , Patrick

Will Ferrell - Jenni’s other brother , William

Robert DeNiro-Jenni’s Dad , Mr. Jennison

Goldie Hawn - Jenni’s Mom Mrs. Jennison

Harvey Keitel - Guest at Party

Lily Tomlin - Guest at Party

Dick Cavett - Guest at party

Candace Bergen - Guest at party

John Goodman - Fat old lady at party

Danny DeVito - Fat Lady at party

Brian Doyle murray - Fat Old woman at party

Chris rock - Angry Woman at mall

Eddie murphy - Angry fat woman at mall

Arsenio Hall - Angry Fat old lady at mall

Martin Lawrence - Angry Fat Old Lady  at Store

Jamie Foxx - Angry Fat Old Lady  at Store

David Alan Grier - Angry Fat Old Lady  at Store

Tommy Davidson - Angry Woman neighbor

Shawn Wayans - Angry Woman neighbor

Marlon Wayans - Angry Woman neighbor

Damon Wayans - Old Angry Woman across the street

Keenan Ivory Wayans - Angry Old Woman in the house next to the one across the street

Horatio Sanz - Man in apartment

Hank Azaria - Man who gets shot in the butt with archery darts

Paul Reubens - Man who Greg mistakes for a “crazy lunatic“

William H. Macy - Johnny Peterson , their dumb neighbor

   Great Movie

Absolutely Hilarious!

Hysterical!

Laugh till the devil comes to get you

Rated PG- 13

   Songs

 1. Video Killed the Radio Star - Buggles

2. Tainted Love - Soft Cell

3. I Ran - Flock of Seagulls

4. Who Can It Be Now? - Men At Work

5. Hold Me Now - Thompson Twins

6. She Blinded Me With Science - Thomas dolby

7. Don’t You ( Forget About Me ) - Simple Minds

8. Oh Yeah - Yello

9.  In the Name Of Love - Thompson Twins

10. Twist and Shout - Beatles

11. Danke Schoen - Wayne Newton

12. Day-O - Harry Belafonte

13. Shout Pts. 1 & 2 - Isley Brothers

14. Cool Jerk - Capitols

15. Surfin’ Bird - The trashmen

16. Surfin’ Safari - Beach Boys

17. Surfin’ USA - Beach boys

18. Fun , Fun , Fun - Beach Boys

19. I Get Around - Beach Boys

20. Little Honda - Beach Boys

21. Surf City - Jan & Dean

22. All Summer Long - Beach boys

23. Barbara Ann - Beach Boys

24. Ya Ya - Lee  Dorsey

25. Stayin’ Alive - Bee Gees

26. Night Fever - Bee gees

27. You Should Be Dancing - Bee Gees

28. Jive Talkin’ - Bee Gees

29. More Than A Woman - Tavares

30. There’s Something About Greg And nicky - Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller

31. Brick House - Commodores

32. Le Freak - Chic

33. Good Times - Chic

34.  The Family Dinner Song - Adam Sandler and  Ben Stiller

35. Who Let the dogs out? - Baha Men

36. Pee Song Medley - Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller

37. Insence and Peppermints - Strawberry Alarm Clock

38. American Woman -  Guess Who

39. Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

40. We Will Rock you - Queen

41. We Are The Champions - Queen

42. Super Freak - Rick James

43 . Peter Gunn Theme

44.  Jump Aronud - House of Pain

45. Car Wash - Rose Royce

46. Love Rollercoaster - Ohio Players

47. Fire - Ohio players

48. Superfly - Curtis mayfield

49. Greased Lightnin’ - John Travolta ( from “Grease“)

50. 3am - Matchbox 20

51. angel - Shaggy

52. Allstar - Smash Mouth

53. All the Small Things - Blink 182

54. It wasn’t Me- shaggy

55. Rock And Roll All Nite - KISS

56. Graduate - 3rd Eye blind

57. Tubthumping - Chumbawamba

58. Music - Madonna

59. Monster Mash - Bobby Pickett

60. Wild Thing - Troggs

61. Hang On Sloopy - McCoys

62. Johnny B. Goode - Chuck Berry

63. Magic Carpet Ride - Steppenwolf

64. Born to be Wild - Steppenwolf

65. Wooly Bully - Sam the Sham and the Pharohs

66. Little Red Rididng Hood - Sam the Sham and the Pharohs

67. Foxy Lady - Jimi Hendrix

68. You Really got Me - Kinks

69. Mony Mony - Tommy James and the Shondells

70. Devil with a Blue Dress on and Good Golly miss Molly - Mitch ryder & the Detroit Wheels.

71. Party Doll - Buddy Knox

72. Oh Boy - Buddy Holly

73. Rave on - Buddy Holly

74. That’ll Be The day - Buddy Holly

75. Maybe Baby - Buddy holly

76. California Girls - Beach Boys

77. Louie Louie - Kingsmen

78. Twist and Shout - Isley Brothers

79. Litte Red Riding Hood - Sam the Sham and the Pharohs

80. Get Outta My Way Now! - Adam and Ben

 These are all 80 songs in the film

150 mins

 Lines :

( At the dinner party visting Jenni’s parents)

Mr. Jennison : So ,Greg ,how has it been the last time I saw you?

Greg : Great

Mr. Jennison : Hi ,Nicky!

Nicky : Hey , Mr. Jennsion!

Mr. Jennison : Hows it goin’,huh?

Nicky : Great!

Greg :us two crazy buddies are still wild ,yeah

Nicky : Right , man!

Mrs. Jennison : Greg

Greg : Yeah ,Mrs. Jennison

Mrs. Jennison : You bought some ham ,could you show it to us?

Greg : No!

Mrs. Jennison : Why?

Greg : You’re really talkin’ about my butt!

Mrs. Jennison : Oh , really!

Greg : Yeah! Hey any of you wanna see my pork and beans?

Mr. Jennison: No!

Greg : Because it’s down here!

Nicky : He means his you know what area

Greg : Thanks for defining that!

Mr. Jennison : Oh!

Jenni : I have some cantaloupes!

William : oh ,really!

Patrick : Yeah , that’s right!

Jenni : No ,I mean my boobs

Greg : Oh!

Jenni : Greg ,you know , I’m your girlfriend!

Greg : I know! Iknow! Yeah Yeah ,I know! ( he and nicky talk gibberish while the others laugh)

Mr. Jennison : I’m having a big party tomorrow night ,you guys will al meet three fat old ladies!

Greg : Oh!

Nicky : None of our neighbors are comnig are they?

Mr. Jennison : No ,why?

Nicky : Good , Cause I don’t want Lugey Queen coming

Greg : oh .yeah The one who hocks lugeys at passerbys from her driveway! Good thinknig!

Nicky : Thanks!

Greg : You’re welcome

Mr. Jennison : It will be tomorrow night\

( the next night)

Mr. Jennison : Well ,isn’t this great honey?

Mrs. Jennison : Yes, dear!

Guest : This is great , Jennsion

Mr. Jennison : Thanks!  Anybody want some champagne?

Guests : Yeah!

Greg : Hey , Jennison ,we want to Budwiesers

Mr. Jennison : 2 Budweisers comnig right up for Greg and Nicky!

Greg and Nicky : Thanks!

Jenni : I want wine!

Pat and Will : We want Lite Beer!

Mr. Jennison : Okay!

( He gives the drinks to the others) So , guys what do you think of this?

Greg : oh ,it’s great ,love it!! You know ,mind I talk in front of all these people at this  party , So , these people are  my girlfriend’s parents ,these are their friends I believe , now there is something those three girls sitting on the couch have in common ,anyone..anyone?  

William : They are all big ,huge ,fat tubs of lard!

Greg :Right on the nose ,Will ,now these fat ladies have eaten too much ,their couch potatoes ,and big ,huge fat tubs of lard ,now this old lady is the fattest and also there is something strange about her , she’s old and she’s fat , this fat woman right here is little less fat ,but she is still a fat woman sitting on this couch at this party , and the other lady is also fat and also to accept the fact that this fat lady here is a MAN! ( pulls her hair)

Woman : Ow!

Greg : They’re all really men I can tell ,by their faces , you lied to me Jennsion ,ooh, you told me they were big fat ladies ,but they are just big fat drag queens who sit on couches at parties when ever they are invited , imagine that , now how do I deal with you? Do I think you’re a psycho ,yes! lying to me, ,what a freakin’ creep you are!

Nicky : Right!

Greg : Nicky and I are leaving in the morning ,with Jenni! , Come on! ( The three of them go home)

  Trivia

 The groups with the most songs featured in the film are Beach Boys , Bee Gees and Queen

 We Will Rock You by Queen plays about 4- 5 times in the film

 There is a karaoke party where they sing American Woman and Another One Bites The Dust.

 We Will Rock You  plays 5 times

 In a scene where Greg and Nicky accidentally let some dogs out , Who Let The Dogs Out? by the Baha Men plays.

 There are  a bunch of men playing women in the film.

  Another Bites the dust ny Queen is heard 4 times in the film.