#katniss everdeen the best book girlfriend

[tay-tay-everlark13]

I'm currently rereading cf and I read really interesting part, when after coming back to 12 from Victors tour, Katniss and Gale meet in the woods. And just like for Peeta, she writes some things about Gale's hands, like with Peeta - about his eyelashes, face and also hands. But what makes it so different - when she describes Gale's hands she means how strong they are to work in mines or hunting. Everything she says about them is how they help him survive. But at the time when she describes Peeta's things, she just wants to tell us how beautiful things he can make by his hands, how focus he looks when he's drawing or doing something important for him, like saving her or talking to audience, and how beautiful and interesting are his eyelashes. And for me this moment is so intimate. I mean, idk if it's just me, but I guess you can see how she sees them from these moments.

[m0nsterqzzz]

Cat's Out of the Bag La Rue

pairing: Clarisse La Rue x reader

summary: Valentines Day rolls around, and what kind of girlfriend would Clarisse be if she didnt get you the only present you've been wanting?

a/n: i wrote like 5 fucking valentines day fics yesterday (one with natasha, one with wanda, one with clarisse, one with carol danvers, and one with katniss everdeen) yet this is the only one im posting and i kinda hate it. literally the shortest oneshot i've ever written. also, I'm literally a dog person writing about cats. what has life come to?

is this the worst thing i've ever written? yes. do i hate every other piece of written recently cuz im in writers block and haven't updated in like 3 weeks? also yes. im so done yall.

With a baseball cap covering her head, tucking her curls against her head and being the best disguise she could come up with, Clarisse’s eyes dart all around the cab. It zooms through the streets of New York, making the child of Are’s slightly concerned for her and her siblings safety as they get honked out. The man driving seems like he’s barely paying attention to the road, but in the end it doesn’t really matter as long as they get to their destination. 

There are three children in the yellow car; Clarisse, her half brother Mark, and her half sister Ruby. They were the only ones who she could convince to come with her to town, past the safe bounds of camp half blood where nothing but their weapons can stop monsters from hunting and hurting them.

It’d be a lie to say Clarisse isn’t nervous, but she pushes the feeling down as she grips her spear tighter in her left hand. 

This is for you. She’s going into town and risking getting in trouble for the end result of seeing her favorite smile. Your smile. Her partner of one year. It may not seem like a very long time to some people, but you guys are demigods. It’s surprising you made it through the year without being killed by some horrible, ugly monster.

The car stops and the guy counts the large amount of money Mark hands him before telling them to get out of his cab. It may have annoyed the teenagers on any other day, but it doesn’t bother them too much since today is a special day.

“Why are we here?” Ruby asks, eyes scanning the area around them as if sure something is going to jump out at them. In the blonde haired girl's defense, it’s very possible something will.

Clarisse gestures to the small building in front of them. It’s run down and in desperate need of a paint job, but it doesn’t matter. That’s not what grabs the child of Ares attention. It’s the small animals chilling in their little spots inside the store. That’s what she’s here for.

The sign above the small colorful store reads, “Mike’s Animals”. Boring name, but gets the point across. She can already see the little animal she came here for when they walk through the door, the loud bell ringing from the action of opening it but no employee comes to help them. Clarisse lets her siblings stare in awe at the other animals for a few months before shoving towards a section near the back. The kitten section. You had been showing her a website on your phone a few days ago, one with a different selection of the small animals. The website was for Mike’s Animals, but you explained that even though you’d really like a cat, pets aren’t allowed in Camp Half Blood. It’s a rule.

Well you wanna know what Clarisse says about that? Screw rules. What her person want’s, her person gets.

So if the police ever come around, asking you why Clarisse shoved a black and white kitten into her brother's coat pocket and then made a run for it while the store manager chased after them, that’s what you have to say.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

You're laying on your bed reading a book when your girlfriend walks in, a large box covered by a piece of fabric under one arm and a bouquet of flowers in her free hand. She ignores your siblings' gazes as she walks towards your space, setting down the box with a type of gentleness nobody in camp but you gets to see and then holding out the flowers.

They’re your favorite, clearly straight out of the flower fields by the slight glow they give off. They’re wrapped in a brown type of paper with a pink bow clearly down by one of the Aphrodite kids to hold it all together.

“Hey my love.” She starts. “These are for you.” You take the plants with a large grin on your face, bringing them closer to your face to smell the amazing natural scent coming from them. Something moves inside the box she sat on your bed, making you hold in a scream as you jump closer to your girlfriend and farther away from it. “What the hell is moving in that Clarisse?!” You ask, your siblings' attention all over you guys now.

Clarisse just laughs, but she seems slightly nervous as she puts the crate in your lap. “Just look. I hope you like it.” She continues to nervously ramble as you remove the cloth from the top of the box, letting out a small gasp when you see the small animal looking back at you with wide, curious blue eyes.

Your girlfriend stares as you gently pick him up, him instantly curling into your hold with a soft pur as you hold him close to your chest. “You um…you like him?” She asks with a small smile.

“Of course I do! He’s adorable, Risse!” She lets out a relieved sigh, laying down next to you as your siblings surround the bed trying to get a look at the animal. “You know Chiron will never let you keep that right?” One of your brothers asks with a laugh, and you frown as you look at your girlfriend.

She thinks about it for a moment before she says, “We’ll just hide him. He can lounge around the cabin while you’re gone, and you guys can hide him somewhere during cabin checks. Chiron will never know.”

Your siblings eventually leave you alone, going back to their acticicus as your two favorite beings cuddle up to you. Clarisse cuddles up next to your side, and the kitten on your stomach. “I really like you Oreo.” you whisper to the animal, making your girlfriend laugh. “Oreo? That’s the most original thing you could think of right?”

“Okay if you're so great at naming things, what should we name him?”

She goes quiet for a few seconds before mumbling in defeat, “I like Oreo.”

You guys enjoy the silence that surrounds just you guys as you pet Oreo, but then a small laugh comes from you when Clarisse gently grabs the cat and pulls him off your chest so she can lay her head there. “He’s been here for half an hour and you're already jealous?” “He was getting way too touchy. Mine.” She teases and then fakes an annoyed groan when he crawls onto her back and lays down, stretching himself out just to prove a point.

“Will you be my Valentine, my love?” She asks as she places her chin on your chest to look up at you. There's a certain softness in her eyes that you and only you get to see. In fact, it’s very, very rare you ever see the side everyone else talks about when they talk about Clarisse towards you. “You guys just don’t know her like I do.” You tell them. Not like they believe you, half of the camp still believing you somehow put a spell on her.

“Only if you’ll be mine.” You whisper back as if it’s a secret.

“Oh…this is awkward. I already agreed to be like ten other girls date.” Her voice is teasing as she tries and fails not to giggle.

“Is that so?” 

“Mhm.” 

“Hm.” You fake being offended as you cross your arms over your chest and look away. She laughs, and the sound practically forces a smile on your face.

“I’m kidding. Only you, angel. I’m yours. Always.” 

“And I’m yours, Clarisse La Rue.” 

“Always?” 

“And forever.”

There’s a knock on your cabin door, and you figure it’s another camper until a voice calls from the other side of the door, “Clarisse? I know you're in there. Your siblings told me where you went. Cat’s out of the bag La Rue.” Chiron says. Very terrible choice of words. She groans into your stomach, rolling off of you and successfully getting Oreo to jump off her back and onto the bed.

“Those little snitches.” She snarls as she gets up to open the door, making you instantly miss her warmth.

You place the cat under your sweater, giggling and then shoving his face back under when he crawls to put his head through the neck hole. Once she knows he’s covered, Clarisse opens the door. Chirons eyes fall to you, and it’s only then do you think about the fact that there is a giant Oreo shaped lump in your sweater.

All your siblings fall silent as they watch to see what’s gonna happen.

“Mac and cheese day am I right?” You try to joke with a nervous chuckle, but he doesn’t laugh. He just runs a hand over his face and then stares at you. “You know what? I don’t care. You find a way to feed him that isn’t taking resources from us, you make sure he doesn’t do any damage to the furniture, and you keep track of him at all times, you can keep him.”

You grin at him, letting the small animal out of your sweater who in turn lowly hisses at the sight of Chiron.

He groans, walking off as he mumbles something about needing a very long vacation. There's only so much of your girlfriend bending the rules to get you presents he can handle before he was bound to just accept it.

The cinatar leaves, your girlfriend flipping him off when he can’t see. He yells over his shoulder, “I know what you’re doing Clarisse! Stop it or no dessert!” 

She stops flipping him off. Next to you, chocolate cake is what she lives for.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

That night, as you sit with Clarisse at the bonfire, she listens to you complain about how much you miss Oreo. Usually, you’d be too busy roasting marshmallows and cuddling with her to think about anything else, but your girlfriend doesn’t do anything other than smile, happy she made you so happy.

“So how’d you get him anyway? You don’t have that kind of money and there’s no way Chiron gave it to you.” You say, and she freezes in her spot on a log, slightly tightening her arms that are wrapped around your waist as she avoids your eyes.

“I stole him.” Her voice is slightly quieter than usual, and she says this in the most casual tone she can muster.

“CLARISSE LA RUE!”

[bookish-phile]

reblog for a bigger sample (did i say that right?)

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

So the new Hunger Games book. I have some thoughts.

Can't wait to see who's gonna play which characters.

Wonder what Snow will look like middle-aged.

I'm guessing the movie will cut Maysilee having a sister due to Madge being absent from the original films & if so, I wonder how that will affect the Mockingjay pin origins or if they'll completely remove the fact that it originally belonged to her.

Omg, the film could use the same reaping dress (or more likely a replica) for teen Miss Everdeen that they used for Katniss as it is said to be something that belonged to her mother during her time as a Merchant, in the original series.

Can't believe we might finally learn Katniss's parents' names lol.

Omg, do you think they'll at least hint at the baker/apocathery/hunter love triangle?

Oh (no hate to Woody Harrison but) young Haymitch is gonna be white, isn't he? Well, at least they could let him have black hair. & that wouldn't nessaryly even break movie cannon. All they'd need is to have a scene showing/implying that the stylists are gonna dye his hair after he ends up winning the games. The movie could even create an in-universe reason (outside of the Capitol citerzens just thinking it looked better). Such as with blonde people in 12, not coming from the Seam. Snow views it as the perfect subtle punishment to help Haymitch feel a loss of cultural identity by separating him from his community (now that he looks & lives more like a Merchant).

Hope the movie won't try to appeal to Hayffee/Effie stans by adding unnecessary scenes of them getting close, as if Haymitch didn't have a whole ass girlfriend while Effie would be nose deep in Capitol propaganda at that point in time.

Everyone who's saying it's gonna be weird to find Haymitch hot is weak. I was attracted to Woody Harrelson in a wig.

Don't know if this is at all realistic/accruate, but this is how I'd want the movie to end. Haymitch, back in 12. Maybe waking up in his new house after being sedated (due to him losing it after his last interview). Him desperately trying to find out where his family/GF is after discovering his old house empty (left there as a reminder), his GF's family not opening the door & everyone seemingly too nervous to speak to him. Till he eventually ends up on the Everdeen's doorstep (where Miss Everdeen is being comforted) & they explain what happened as best as they can. Then, after he returns to his new home, he gets a phone call from Snow bassically telling him that he should have behaved himself, leading him to rip the phone out of the wall before completely trashing the place. When he eventually wakes up, Hazelle is cleaning up the mess (he forgot to lock the front door). She tries to talk to him about applying alcohol (she was given by miss Everdeen) to the wounds he sustained from smashing up the place & about his girlfriend (as I could imagine the two having been friends as I can only see Haymitch's GF being from the Seam), but he tells her to get out before he starts drinking the alcohol right from the bottle, with a voice over of older Haymitch saying the line 'there's survivors, there's no winners'. Or something along those lines.

Maybe that's too fanficy, though lol.

[zikydoesthings]

The new Hunger Games book has revived the fandom, and as a result it’s slowly turning into one of my main interests again.

One thing that I love about The Hunger games is how when we get to learn about Haymitch’s past in Catching Fire, we get to see how him and Katniss had lived very similar lives but with different results.

In the movies he has blond hair, but in the books he has brown hair and gray eyes like Katniss. He’s from the Coal district, not the Mining district of 12. Add that onto the fact that he has a mother, brother, and girlfriend mentioned but no father, it’s not that hard to assume that his father had died in a mining accident like Katniss’ father did.

If Haymitch had gotten reaped a year before or after when he did, he likely wouldn’t have come out of his game as bad as he did. But unfortunately for him, he ended up getting reaped during the 50th Hunger Games. The 2nd Quarter Quell. The number of tributes was doubled, two boys and two girls from each district, and the entire arena was dangerous.

Like Katniss he ended up teaming up with someone. Maysilee Donner, aunt to Madge Undersee, the girl who gave Katniss her pin in the books, and was also best friends with Katniss’s mother.

Like Rue, Maysilee ended up dying moments before Haymitch was able to save her. While Rue was stabbed with a spear, Maysilee is described to have died by what seems like they were meant to be the Capital’s Mutt version of a flamingo, thanks to how they’re described to be bright pink.

Moments before he found Maysilee he had discovered the edge of the arena thanks to throwing a rock over the edge and it getting tossed back at him by the force field. And not long after Maysilee’s death he ended up getting chased back to that spot by a girl from District 1.

The two of them ended up fighting with fatally dangerous wounds, her missing an eye and him having a gash in his stomach so deep that his intestines were basically falling out.

She ended up throwing her axe at him, he ducked, and the axe ended up flying back and hitting her right in the head.

He was only moments away from dying when the Capital pulled him out of the arena.

Because of Haymitch being able to win by using the force field to his advantage, the Capital was furious. He had found a venerability of the arena and used it to his advantage.

This made the Capital furious and they killed his parents, brother, and girlfriend. That, on top of having just come out of the Games broke him. It caused him to shut himself off from the rest of 12, not wanting to let in anyone else the Capital could use against him, and using alcohol as his escape.

With how he won, I bet that if the Rebellion existed at the time then they were watching him to see if they could use him as their face. But fortunately for Snow, and unfortunately for everyone else, with how broken Haymitch had become they couldn’t use him. And they’d have to wait another 24 years, for Katniss Everdeen to accidentally ignite the rebellion in a way that would cause her to become the face of the rebellion.

[mega-aulover]

How could you translate Katniss' internal thoughts to screen?

If you become the screenwriter for the new adaptation, what would you do?

Are there any movies or tv series which have good example of this type of narration?

Thank you 😊

@curiousnonny

I enjoyed the way they shot the movies where they expanded Katniss POV and showed how her actions affect the world of Panem.

If I had to write a screen film it wouldn't be a film. It would be a mini-series. Because I'd show more of Panem and stick faithfully to the books as possible. For example, I'd add Madge, as the girl who gave Katniss the Mockingjay pin and explain that the Pin belonged to her aunt who died in the Hunger Games. I'd introduce Delly, Leevy, Thom, the Goat Man, Ripper, Hazelle, Gale's brothers, Posy, and Greasy Sae and her family. I'd give names to the MELLLARKS.

I think the book and movie that bests illustrate both first-person narrative and how to expand on the world of the book is The Great Gatsby. In the book, Nick is speaking to the audience but in the movie, he speaks to his Therapist. You also get more of Gatsby in the movie versus in the book.

Now put your caps on...and picture Haymitch waking up from a nightmare where he saw Maysaliee die, he watched his mom and girlfriend being taken by Peacekeepers and it's near the Reaping day. Haymitch goes out and he sees Katniss and Gale leaving the forest with their Game. You meet the people in District 12. You meet the Mellarks, the Cartwrights, you meet Darius the Peacekeeper. You see the Hob and then you see Katniss and the people who live in Twelve. And you meet Primrose and Mrs. Everdeen- and Primrose is having a hard time with the Reaping that is tomorrow. She has a nightmare. And from there you see the Capitol and see the excitement of the crowds.

That's my introduction.

[jlalafics]

Sunday Snippet: “The Capitol Games”

Summary: When her boyfriend, Peeta, invites her to his best friend's wedding, Dr. Katniss Everdeen is thrilled to finally meet his family and visit the illustrious Capitol.

However, Katniss didn't realize she would be pulled into a world where money and status rule, scheming socialites will do anything to pull her and Peeta apart, and his family believes she is in no way his equal.

Will love survive these Capitol Games?

Very loosely based on a certain Crazy, Rich book and movie.

_______

“Can you tell me more about your family?” Katniss asked, halfway through their flight. “I know all about how Madge Undersee and her husband, Marvel Evans are the toast of the Capitol, but what about the others?”

They had commandeered a couch towards the back of the jet after his girlfriend took a tour through the jet, courtesy of Captain Hearteyes (the douche), who spent thirty minutes bragging about his jet. Peeta bit his tongue though he itched to tell the man that it didn’t belong to him, but to Mellark Industries.

However, his wonderful little bubble would be popped, and he wanted to keep himself and Katniss inside a little longer.

“Well, there’s Gloss, the eldest of my cousins,” Peeta started slowly, his arm weaving around her shoulders to pull her close. His girlfriend rested back against his chest. “He’s married to Enobaria—”

“She was the model, right?” Katniss asked. “I think Prim has a few old Vogue Magazines with her in them. Tanned skin, kind of slinky, long dark hair…”

“Yes, they met at one of my cousin’s parties and fell hard for one another,” he continued. “They’ve been married for ten years and have nine-year-old twins, Chanel and Alexander.”

“Of course, named after designers,” Katniss said with a snort. “Sounds like a picture-perfect family.”

Peeta kissed the top of her head. “Sure.”

Enobaria couldn’t stand Gloss, his charms had worn off about a year into their marriage. However, the iron clad prenup would’ve taken away her designer wardrobe and all the jewelry that Gloss had given her from the Parr Family vault.

So Enobaria did the only thing she could do, she seduced Gloss and got pregnant. Now, that there was an heir (Alexander, born at 8:02 am) and the spare (Chanel, born at 8:04 am), she had solidified her place in Gloss’ life should he ever try to divorce her.

His cousin was none the wiser about the contempt his wife held for him. Gloss was too wrapped in being photographed in every society magazine and newspaper for him to see anything besides his beautiful face.

“And then there’s…Cato?” Katniss continued. “The model-slash-womanizer. I remember reading that he dated some Playboy bunny for a bit.” She smirked at Peeta. “Has he ever introduced you to any of his girls?”

“I was never that interested in any of the girls that were interested in Cato,” he told her. “They are all beautiful, but they never want anything pass one night. To be honest, I think Cato is looking for love, just in all the wrong places.” His eyes went to hers. “As for me, I want someone who’s going to be there in the morning. Who’s going to be there no matter what.”

Katniss straightened, turning to look at him. “Has there been someone who hasn’t stayed?”

Peeta lifted her chin. “Those who didn’t weren’t worth it.” He brushed his lips against hers and she sighed. “In the end, they led me to you.”

“I love you,” Katniss whispered against their kiss.

His chest fluttered at her words. “I love you, too.”

Katniss cupped his cheeks, her grey eyes tender. “I’m going to be here no matter what.”

He hoped she would be—once he had the guts to tell her the truth.

First part will be posted on Friday, February 5th.

[louezem]

Saying Yes - Brothers

Summary:  Katniss and Peeta had a bitter break up years ago and went their separate ways. Katniss knows nothing of Peeta's life now, until a stunning blonde walks into the exclusive bridal salon were she works, to buy her a dress for her wedding - to Peeta Mellark.

Written for @promptsinpanem

Part 5 - Brothers

Eight Weeks Later...

Part 5 - Brothers 

Eight weeks later:

“Good evening, Mr Mellark, it’s nice to see you,” the doorman welcomed him with a tip of his head.

“Good evening,” Peeta returned the welcome. “I’m here to meet my brother for dinner but I need to go upstairs first. When he arrives can you send him to The Arena?  I’ll meet him at the bar.”

“Of course, Mr Mellark, I’ll let him know.”

Peeta strode through the hotel lobby, acknowledging staff members and guests alike with a nod or a smile before using his keycard to access a small private elevator that rose directly to the penthouse he’d shared with Glimmer.

It felt a little weird being back in this space.  He’d moved out of the hotel and into a very nice apartment a short distance away a couple of weeks earlier.  The views weren’t as spectacular and there was no room service or overnight dry cleaning at his new place, but he was enjoying having a space that was just his more than he’d expected.  He liked displaying his own art on the walls of his home and cooking in his own kitchen again.

He opened the sliding doors to the patio and stepped outside, glad that none of the Glimmer’s personal staff were around to observe him as he said a last goodbye to the place that he’d called home for quite a while.  He walked to the infinity balcony and leaned over admiring the view over the city and listening to the faint sounds of the crowds and the traffic far below.  He could feel the autumn chill in the air, the days getting noticeably shorter.  It was almost sunset, so he decided to stay and watch from this vantage point one last time.

The media attention had been pretty brutal in the weeks immediately following his and Glimmer’s break up, usually casting him in the role of a gold-digging gigolo who’d used Glimmer to further his career in her Grandfather’s chain of hotels and then broke her heart.   They didn’t let up until a couple of photos of Glimmer and her entourage of girlfriends started showing up on online as they partied their way across Europe.  When a photo of Glimmer dancing closely with the sovereign prince of some small European principality showed up on twitter the interest in Peeta finally began to fade.  He smiled to himself, knowing Glimmer most likely leaked the photo herself to draw the attention off him, if the winking emoji she’d text him around the same time was anything to go by.  But she’d never admit it to anyone else.

In the bedroom he gathered the last few personal documents and books he’d forgotten into a box and dropped his keycard in the drawer of the bedside table, switching off the lights on his way out.      

He felt sad that this chapter of his life was over but not heart-broken like he thought he was supposed to be.  He should be on his honeymoon in Europe right now, for god’s sake, but instead he was single again.  He kept waiting for some stronger emotion to hit him but the simple truth was, he was okay.  If anything, he was a little excited about the future and the new opportunities that were already presenting themselves.  It wasn’t like back when…

An image of a pretty dark-haired girl with tears running down her face came into his mind, immediately morphing into a more recent memory of a gorgeous woman with flashing silver eyes climbing into a taxi and driving away…

He shut down that train of thought quickly.   Dr Aurelius had said no good would come from letting his mind wander down those paths.  In the weeks since he’d bumped into her again, Katniss had made a reappearance in his dreams, costing him more than one night of sleep lost to restless tossing and turning.  So much so that he’d started painting in the small hours of the morning again.

He dropped his box of things off in his office downstairs and headed to the bar where he immediately spotted a head of blond wavy hair almost identical to his own.  

“Hey Rye,” he greeted his brother and slipped onto the barstool beside him, letting his eye run over the room.  Like everything in the hotel the restaurant exuded sheer luxury - from the long polished mahogany bar to the more private dining areas with deep seats upholstered in sumptuous dark blue velvet and tables set with the finest sterling silver cutlery and cut crystal glassware.  The only thing he didn’t personally care for were the large displays of snow white roses, but they were something of a trademark for the owner, Coriolanus Snow who insisted on them in all his hotels.

“Peeta.” Rye welcomed him with a pat to his shoulder and raised his finger to catch the attention of the bartender. “What are you drinking?”

“My usual please, Finch,” Peeta smiled at the bartender who came to serve him, a slender natural red-head with fox like features and pale eyes, “and whatever my brother wants.”

“A double on the rocks, and put it on his tab.” Rye winked and raised his glass.

Peeta chuckled and Finch gave them a closed lipped smile before scurrying off to get their drinks.

“This is some place,” Rye commented.  “It’s a far cry from the spit and sawdust of Abernathy’s bar, back home.”

“It is,” Peeta chuckled.  “Is the old man even still alive?”

“Sure is, and as surly as ever.  But enough of small town news, tell me how’ve you been,” Rye looked him up and down.  “We haven’t talked much in the last few weeks.  You don’t look too bad, all things considered.”

“Thanks, I’m doing okay,” Peeta lifted his drink and clinked it off his brother’s glass. “I’ve been busy with events here in the hotel and moving to my own place.  Next time you’re in town we should meet up my new apartment instead of the hotel.  I’ll cook you a steak.”

“It’s a deal,” Rye agreed. “I’ll bring the beer.  None of your fancy wines, thank you very much. You got a big TV?”

“I’ve got a regular TV and sports on cable,” Peeta laughed. “I prefer to use my walls for my paintings, not a huge flatscreen.”

“You can spare at least one wall for a decent 60 inch. The one in the suite we stayed in upstairs before the wedding was awesome.  We did you move out anyway, I thought you could live at the hotel for free as a perk of your job?”

“There is a private suite that comes with the package but with Glimmer due back in town soon I thought it was best to find my own place.   Better to keep a little healthy distance between us until things settle.” 

“Probably wise.” Rye agreed.  “Have you talked to her at all?” 

“Sure, a couple of times.  Honestly, we’re fine with each other.  I mean, yeah, it feels strange being a single guy again.  I miss her company and I miss sleeping beside someone at night.” He let out a small chuckle. “I even miss Caesar, but all things considered we’re good.”

“I’m glad you feel that way. Glimmer is a great girl,” Rye sipped his whiskey, a thoughtful look on his face.  “Stupid dog, though.  Give me a mutt over a pampered pooch any day of the week.”

“Hey Caesar is great.  He might be small and fluffy but he has the heart of a great dane,” Peeta chuckled.  “The little dogs always do.  Besides—” Peeta stopped. 

“Besides what?”

“I think Glimmer may have done the right thing by calling the wedding off.” Peeta confessed. He cleared his throat. It was the first time he’d admitted as much out loud to anyone.  “Moving out will make everything less awkward in the long run, when she starts to see someone new.  I don’t think she’ll be single for long.” 

“Does it bother you?  The thought of Glimmer with another guy?”  Rye was watching him.

Peeta knew if he tried to lie, his brother would see right through it.  No one knew him the way Rye did.  He considered his response carefully, as he’d asked himself the same question a million times.

“No.” He answered truthfully.  It was the first time he’d fully admitted it, even to himself, and with it came a sense of relief.  “It really doesn’t bother me and that’s that thing.  It should, shouldn’t it?  I mean, I should be turning green with jealousy at thought of Glimmer with someone else, but I’m not.  All I want is for her to be happy.”

“Hmm.  What about you? Have you had any thoughts about moving on yourself?”  Rye raised an eyebrow. 

Peeta shook his head.  “No.  Relationships are the last thing I’m thinking about right now, and maybe not for a long time.”

“Who said anything about relationships? You have needs. You’re a young reasonably good looking guy—”

“Gee, thanks!” Peeta laughed at the back handed compliment.

“—all I’m saying is the ladies love a guy like you, and there is nothing wrong with a little healthy no strings attached fun.  Or a lot of healthy no strings fun if you prefer.  How about Finch over there?  She a bit of a fox and she keeps looking at you like she sees something delicious she’d like to eat.”

“Delicious but toxic,” Peeta snorted, shaking his head.  “I don’t do casual hook-ups but if I did I’d never choose someone at work.  It would be unprofessional.”

“But dating the granddaughter of your employer wasn’t?”  Rye laughed out loud.

“That was different, I was working someplace else when I met Glimmer.”

“Okay fair point,” Rye conceded, tipping his head.  “But tell me why you just described yourself as toxic?  Don’t tell me you bought into all that bullshit the media accused you of.”

“No, but look how my last two relationships ended.  The love of my life cheated on me and broke my heart, then my next serious girlfriend dumped me on our wedding day.  Even if—"

“Wait.”  Slowly Rye rested his drink on the bar and turned to face his brother, all former joviality had left his face. “Peeta, do you still believe Katniss Everdeen is the love of your life?”

“That’s an odd question to ask,” Peeta frowned.

“Humour me.”

“Fine then, the answer is yes,” he gave a slight nod of his head. “Yes, I believe Katniss is the great love of my life.  Hopefully not the last love. But the great one.  I loved Glimmer but it wasn’t the same.   I don’t think I could ever love anyone again the way I loved Katniss.”

Rye let out a deep sigh and ran a shaking hand though his hair.  “I was afraid you were going to say that.”

Peeta’s frown deepened. “Rye, what’s wrong?  You’re acting weird.”

“Peeta, there is something I need to talk to you about.  It’s been playing on my mind for some time, since long before the wedding was cancelled, if I’m honest.”

“Okay.  This sounds ominous.  It’s nothing to do with your health is it?  Or Graham, or Mom? The business back home is doing okay? Because you know I can help with that if you need—”

“No, no – calm down, the business if fine, Mom and Graham are fine, or at least they were, last time I spoke to them.  By the way, Mom said to tell you how foolish you were for letting a prize like Glimmer slip through your fingers.”

Peeta rolled his eyes. He could care less what his mother thought of him or his life, not when she couldn't even bothered to come to his wedding.

“Stop deflecting Rye.  This isn’t the first time you’ve hinted you had something on your mind and you’re not usually the type to hold back, so whatever it is, spit it out.”

“I worried if I do you’ll punch me in the face.”

“Rye, so help me—”

“Look, let’s move over to a table.” Rye threw back what was left in his glass and nodded to the bartender for another.  “We might need a little more privacy for this conversation.”

Once the brothers were resettled in a quiet corner with fresh drinks in front of them Peeta sat back and waited.

“It’s about Katniss.” Rye began nervously.

“What about her?” Peeta frowned.

“It’s about what happened between her and Gale Hawthorne the night of Madge’s party.”

Peeta looked at him, his frown deepening.  That was not what he’d been expecting to come out of Rye’s mouth.

“I already know what happened Rye.  I don’t need to hear the sordid tale of how you caught my girlfriend making out with another guy again.”  His tone was dismissive.

“Peeta, did you ever wonder why Katniss gave up trying to contact you after you broke up with her?” Rye’s voice shook a little as he spoke. He was nervous.

Peeta met his brother’s worried gaze with a now stony one of his own.  “I reckoned she figured out it was pointless to keep trying.  You caught her red handed and she knew that I’d never forgive her. Cheating is a deal breaker for me.  She knew that.”

“Okay, that’s reasonable.  But did you ever stop and ask yourself why you didn’t see her around at school later on, when she had a full ride to go to Panem U?”

“Yeah, she had, for tuition.” Peeta nodded. “We’d planned to live in the dorms for freshman year, and if we could find roommates we liked to share expenses with us, we’d rent a place and live together off campus after that. For the first month or so after school started I did look out for her.  Fuck, every time I saw a girl with olive skin and dark hair I hoped it was Katniss.” Peeta grabbed the whiskey bottle Finch had left on the table, and tossed back a shot.  “But after a while I figured out she must have gone somewhere else.  I guess she decided she didn’t want to see me either.”   

Rye locked eyes with him. “Before I tell you this, I need you to know that I’m really sorry. I want you to keep that in your head and remember it when I’m finished.”

“Sorry for what?”  Peeta eyed him warily.  “You’re starting to freak me out now, Rye.”

“I fucked up and got it all wrong, Peeta.  Katniss didn’t cheat on you with Gale the night of Madge’s party.  Or any other night.”

Peeta sat deathly still, his face impassive, as he stared at his older brother. The only reaction he showed to the grenade his brother had just launched at him was the darkening of his eyes from blue to black.

“What the fuck are you saying to me, Rye?  You’d better explain what you just said.  Fast,” he growled.

“Okay hear me out.  I need to start at the beginning.” Rye put up a placating hand.  “You remember that I had a massive thing for Madge Undersee, right?  I even thought I might be in love with her, but she only had eyes for Gale Hawthorne.” 

“Sure, I remember.  You always had a thing for blondes.”

“Still do.” Rye laughed dryly, but with no humour.  “I ended up crashing Madge’s party that night with a couple of the guys I used to wrestle with back in High School.  Cato and Marvel.  It was already late when we got there and Katniss was there hanging out with Madge and Gale. They’d all had a few drinks and looked pretty comfortable with each other.  Katniss and Madge were dancing and Gale was watching them both.  I didn’t think anything of it.”

“Katniss and Gale were friends since they were kids,” Peeta interrupted. “Madge was her best friend in High School.  Off course they were friendly. The only reason I wasn’t at the party too was because I was due at the bakery the next morning at 4am to finish a wedding cake, so Katniss tagged along with Gale instead.”

“Anyway,” Rye continued. “As the night went on I drank more and I managed to corner Madge on her own in the kitchen away from her friends.  I asked her to go out on a date with me, begged her to give me a shot, but she turned me down flat. I kept trying to charm her until she got pissed off told me to leave her alone, that she liked someone else.”

“Let me guess, that someone was Gale?” Peeta asked.

“Yeah.” Rye confirmed with a nod. “So I backed off with my tail between my legs, grumbling all the while to the guys about what was so special about Gale that made him so popular with the ladies, and what had he got that I hadn’t got.  They laughed, saying he had quite a reputation with the ladies and he was well known for frequenting the slag heap with different girls, but lately he’d been there a lot with a certain Seam girl.  They were looking at Katniss when they said it.”

Peeta raised an eyebrow at this.

“Anyway, by then I was drunk and feeling pretty sorry for myself.  A little while later I decided to call it a night and left to walk home when I heard some rustling and caught sight of Gale back in the trees.  At first I thought he was taking a leak, but then I realised he was leaning up against a tree because he had a girl backed up against it.   This kinda made me see red because Madge was back at the house waiting for him to make his move and he was here, wasting time with another girl.”

“Katniss.” Peeta growled, downing another shot.  It might be ten years ago, but it still hurt.  

“Yes.” Rye nodded.  “It was Katniss.  I saw him bend down and kiss her, but she must have seen me because she shoved him away and came running after me and we argued.   She tried to say what I’d seen was nothing, that she’d only gone outside to check on Gale because he was drunk and he came onto her.  She swore she never invited it.”

He took a deep breath. 

“I was so angry I couldn’t think straight.  I yelled at Katniss to get the hell away from me and to stay the hell away from you and told her she wasn’t good enough for you.  Gale came over and tried to throw a punch at me for yelling at Katniss, but he was a drunk as I was and he missed and we both ended up on the ground.  Then his friend Thom and Madge came out of the house and broke it up.  Katniss was crying and Madge took her inside.”

“I know this part Rye.” Peeta’s icy voice cut across him abruptly.  “But you never said anything about her shoving him away before.  You made it sound like she was a willing participant, that she was all over him.”

“I know.  I know I did.” Rye threw his hands up in the air. “I thought she shoved him away because she saw me, but I only found out years later that I was wrong about all of it.  After what Cato and Marvel had told me about Gale and a Seam girl at the slag heap, I put two and two together and made five.”

“When did you find out you were wrong?”  Peeta spat out, his head spinning.  The repercussions of what Rye had done were huge.  The whole path of his – and Katniss – life had changed because of what Rye said he saw that night.

“Not until a few years later.  Believe it or not, it was Gale who confronted me.  He and Madge were engaged, and I had long moved on.  They came by the bakery to order a wedding cake.  While Madge was distracted talking flavours and buttercream with Dad, Gale asked could he have a word with me outside.”

“At first I thought he was going to bring up my old crush on Madge, but instead he started talking about that night. He basically said he wanted to clear the air and Katniss’ name, and he confirmed everything Katniss tried to tell me years before was all true.”

A heavy silence fell between the brothers and Peeta sat stiffly as his brain tried to process this new information.

“But if he had feelings for Madge, why was he trying to kiss Katniss that night? That makes no sense!” Peeta burst out. 

“I asked him the very same thing.  He said his feelings for Madge were new and he never expected a girl like her would look at a Seam guy like him, let alone date one.  He was confused by what the true nature of his feelings for Katniss were.  They’d been friends for so long and everyone including his  family told him they’d end up together eventually but then she started dating you and he was worried he’d missed his chance.  So when one presented itself, he took it. He said he had to do it.  Just once.”

“And the seam girl he’d been sneaking around with at the slag heap?”

“Leevy Collins.”

“I can’t believe I’m only hearing about this now,” Peeta muttered dropping his head into his hands. “You should have come to me with this when Gale first told you, Rye.”

“I know.” Rye shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  “Gale told me Katniss gave him hell afterwards.  He felt bad when he found out that you broke up with her. They didn’t speak for a long time, but Madge invited Katniss to the wedding hoping they could patch things up.  Gale told me I should try and encourage you to go as well.  He hinted that Katniss wasn’t seeing anyone.”

 “Wait, so Katniss and Gale didn’t speak again until Madge’s wedding?”  Peeta exclaimed.  “That was years later!”

“I guess so.  I don’t know all the details. Katniss and Prim moved away when Prim finished High School. I guess they moved to the city then.  I didn’t keep tabs on her.  After you left she wasn’t on my radar.  I heard her Mom had died—”

“Wait, what - Mrs Everdeen died?!?”  Peeta's head shot up in shock and he suddenly realised just how far he’d distanced himself from his home town if this news never reached him.

“Yeah, I think it was the winter after you left to go to school that I heard a rumour about Katniss’ Mom.  Talk around town was she was really sick.  By then Katniss was working double shifts in Sae’s diner but she got another job working evenings in Abernathy’s.  Mrs Everdeen died about a year later.  Cancer, I heard.”

So Katniss finished raising Prim alone. Peeta thought. She had no one.

Why didn’t you tell me any of this back then?” Peeta clenched his fists tightly. He’d had arguments with his brothers before but he couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever felt so angry with Rye and it hurt.  Rye was his big brother, the one he could depend on who always stood up for him and been there for him. Deflected their mother’s rage onto himself when she would beat up on Peeta too hard.  “You never said a word.”   

“I didn’t think it would make any difference.  You never mentioned Katniss again, I thought you had put it all behind you.  You were living this amazing life in the city, you’d a great job, travelling all over the world in private jets, you had a gorgeous, sexy girlfriend.  I thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie.” 

“You could have told me some things, Rye.  I would have liked to know.  I would have sent flowers to Mrs Everdeen’s funeral.  I liked Mrs Everdeen, she was troubled but she was kind to me.”

“I didn’t want to make things worse for you, Peeta.” Rye’s tone had taken on a slight edge of annoyance.  “Don’t you remember what you were like back then?  After you left home any time anyone tried to talk to you about Katniss, you snapped their heads off.  You made it very clear you didn’t want any information from back home, Everdeen related or otherwise.  So in the end it was best not to say anything.”

“I was hurting, Rye.  I was devastated and angry, thinking my girlfriend had cheated on me and lied to me.”

“I know Peeta, and I get that now. I’m sorry. I take full responsibility.” Rye looked away, his guilt and shame written all over his face.  

An uncomfortable silence settled between the brothers, neither knowing where to go from there.  Even through the haze of his own anger Peeta could see how deeply upset Rye was.

“No.” Peeta eventually broke the silence. “It’s not completely your fault Rye.  It’s mine too.  I should have trusted my girlfriend when she told me she loved me instead of believing the worst of her.  I should have listened to her version of events. Maybe if I didn’t always feel like I wasn’t good enough for someone like her to love, we could have resolved it.  I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop, testing her feelings, hoping if I showed her how much I loved her she would be more demonstrative when it wasn’t in her nature.”

“Back at the hotel, the day before the wedding, she said…” Rye trailed of, shaking his head.

“Back at the hotel she said what, Rye?” Peeta prompted.  “Don't stop now!.”

“She asked me if you were happy.  She made me promise to take care of you, for her.”

Peeta swallowed deeply, tears stinging behind his eyes.  Even this tiny sign that she still cared for him was too much.  

“Is there anything else, I should know? Any more surprises?” he cleared his throat, almost unable to speak.

Rye nodded hesitantly.  “There is one more thing,” he said, obviously troubled. “I promise this is the last of it.”

“Go on.”

“Somehow Mom found out about what happened, I don’t know how. Maybe she overheard me talking to Dad. She threatened Mrs Everdeen with Child Protective Services if Katniss went to the same school as you.”   

“Jesus Christ.”  The tears behind Peeta’s eyes finally began to fall.  He knew the threat of CPS would have terrified Katniss.  She’d confided her fears about her mother’s mental health to him many times, and was worried about leaving Prim to go to school.  He knew, with absolute certainty, that his mother making such a threat would have been enough to stop Katniss leaving for school, even if they hadn’t broken up.  She would never risk her sister ending up in foster care.

“Peeta, are you okay?”  Rye put his hand on his shoulder but Peeta shook it off and stood up.

“After everything else, it’s too much.  I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with all this new information Rye.  I think I need to talk to Dr Aurelius.”  Peeta wiped at his eyes and tried to compose himself, suddenly remembering where he was. 

“Everything you’ve told me tonight has turned everything I believed about Katniss upside down.  I spent years believing the worst of her and it burned a hole in my soul.   It changed me as a person.  Now I find out all this.  Our family destroyed her, Rye.  You, me, Mom.  We took away her chances.  I shouldn’t have let that happen, I was supposed to protect her, we protected each other.  I’m the one who let her down and needs her forgiveness, not the other way around.”

“For what it’s worth, even when you still believed the worst of her, you had already forgiven her.” Rye offered.  “You were ready to let go of the anger.  All it took was seeing her that day, on the steps of the hotel.”

“Maybe so.  But now I have more questions than I have answers.”  Peeta was so confused.  “This changes everything.”

“I think you should go find her and talk to her.  Get some closure.”

“Do you think she would she want to talk to me?” Peeta shook his head. “I didn’t just break up with her that day, I tore her apart, Rye.”  Peeta brought his hands up, rubbing his temples which were beginning to throb.   “I called her unforgivable names and told her to crawl back to the slag heap where she belonged.”  

“Peeta, you have to know how truly sorry I am.”  Rye’s voice shook with emotion. “I never meant to cause—"

Peeta put his hand up to stop him. “I know.  But what’s done is done.”  He pulled out his wallet, throwing a handful of notes on the table.  “I’m going to leave now.  I have a lot of thinking to do.”

He left the table and made his way across bar being careful to avoid catching the eye of any of the other diners.  On seeing him approach, Finch came straight over.

“Please see my brother’s room and tab are charged to my account,” he instructed smoothly.

“Of course, Mr Mellark.  Have a good evening, sir.”  With a smile she retreated to serve another customer.

“Peeta, wait.” As he turned he found Rye was standing closely behind him. “I’m worried.  We’re brothers.  All I ever wanted was what was best for you. Are we going to be okay?”

“I need some time, Rye.  I need to process how I feel about all this.  This… this was huge.  What happened that night changed the course of my life.”

“Fair enough.” His older brother watched with saddened eyes.  “I understand.  Please call me when you’re ready to talk.  I’ll be waiting.”

#Without looking back again, Peeta walked away.  He didn’t remember bidding goodnight to the doorman, or climbing into the cab that took him home.  He let himself into his apartment, chucking off his suit jacket and loosening his tie before heading straight to the kitchen where he grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a glass.

Peeta flung himself onto his sofa, exhausted, his arm flung across his eyes as he tried to reconcile everything Rye had told him.  He felt like a steamroller had run over him.

Katniss didn’t cheat on him.  Katniss didn’t lie to him.  It wasn’t real.

Katniss didn’t cheat on him.  Katniss didn’t lie to him.  It wasn’t real.

Katniss didn’t cheat on him.  Katniss didn’t lie to him.  It wasn’t real.

Again and again it went around and around in his head.  How it must have hurt her when he’d taken Rye’s word over hers.  How betrayed and alone she must have felt.  A sob caught in his throat. 

“Katniss, I’m sorry, I should have believed you,” he spoke into the shadows of the empty room, feeling hot tears finally burning a path down his cheeks, whether from sorrow or shame he didn’t know.  “I’m sorry, I love you, I’m sorry,” he sobbed until he finally passed out.

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[captainseaweedbrains]

The Dance of the Color Guard, Op. 64 Ch. 3

Everlark meets marching band meets enemies to friends to lovers.

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May  

There wasn’t a single childhood memory Katniss could pull that didn’t involve Peeta Mellark. Try as she might to ever forget they were friends—and she tried her hardest to forget—it was next to impossible. Peeta and her were, once upon a time, inseparable. Glued at the hip. Her parents used to tease that only the moonlight could separate them and even then, in the summertime, Peeta spent many nights sleeping on the living room floor next to her, giggling as they watched movies and ate popcorn, Prim snoring beside them. 

And then with her dad being an avid photographer, there were boxes of family albums documenting Katniss and Prim growing up throughout the years. From first steps to bath times together to dance and music recitals—her dad documented it all. “For future biographers,” he used to joke whenever Katniss would complain why they always had to take a picture of  everything. She’d roll her eyes in response and just let him snap away. There was no stopping the man. Now she wished she could take back all her tweenage-angst and let him take as many photos as he wanted of her. But she didn’t know what she knew now. Thus was life. 

On the rare occasion when he relented with the camera and accepted that she was not going to cooperate with any poses he suggested, Peeta was more than happy to step in and take her place, joking how his many admirers at school would kill for a candid photo of him. “It’s not candid if you’re posing, stupid,” she used to tell him, but he’d kindly tell her to shut her piehole and offer up suggestions on where to take the picture next, her dad eating Peeta’s enjoyment up with each click of the shutter. 

Peeta was in a  lot  of her family photos. It was impossible to flip through any family album after Katniss had turned three and not find him. Due to his parents constantly working at their family bakery turned mini corporation, Peeta and his older brother Rye were often left to fend for themselves and from early morning until sundown, Rye would kick Peeta out of the house and lock the door. Rye’s dickish behavior was actually how the two met—Katniss hearing Peeta screaming across their yard, asking if he was dying because he was crying by his back door, fists slamming the glass. 

“No,” he sniffed, rubbing his puffy red eyes. “My brudder—l-l-locked—me—o-o- ooout!” Peeta hiccupped, his hysteria growing with each syllable until he was back to crying for Rye to let him in.

“My daddy’s makin’ pancakes,” Katniss offered from her deck. “He makes them with funny faces and makes them sing. Want some?” 

There probably should have been some type of introduction between them before Katniss invited this total stranger into her home, but when Peeta came in with her, her dad just smiled and told him to pull up a chair. Names were finally exchanged over gooey chocolate chip pancakes and they became instant friends. 

After that, instead of crying when Rye would inevitably lock him out of his own home, Peeta would cross over to the Everdeen’s yard and walk on in, shouting out his greetings to whoever was in the kitchen at the time and seeing what she or her dad were up to for the day. There were countless memories of Katniss coming downstairs after playing with Prim and finding Peeta and her dad casually working together on the morning crossword puzzle at the kitchen table, or out in her mother’s garden doing yard work and chatting about everything and anything. He was always there, ready to hang out and see what she had in mind for them to do that day, and their photo albums showed it. Birthday parties, family dinners, sleepovers, holidays—there Peeta was, all smiles and dimples.

Peeta Mellark was a huge fixture in the Everdeen household until one day he just wasn’t. One day he was there, making her laugh so hard, milk came out her nose, and the next, he was gone and those boxes of happy family photos were just sad reminders of what used to be. 

No dad.

No best friend. 

It was fine. She was fine. 

Except maybe she wasn’t? It annoyed her that Peeta could still dig under her skin like that, his words in the locker room playing on repeat in her mind. At least her nerves about tryouts had a chance to calm down between stressing about Abernathy’s mocking jabs about her playing and her annoyance at Peeta thinking her a heartless loner. So what if she preferred to do things alone? It meant she was independent, mature for her young age. Was that such a bad thing? 

And what was up with accusing her of not being there for people? Not caring for them? Did she have to remind him that he made his choice and ditched  her ? That the second her dad died, he split? Was he ever really her friend, or was he just using her to get to her dad because his dad wasn’t around? Katniss had been wondering that for years, but didn’t have the courage to ask because she just knew if she did, she’d start to cry and shout at him and maybe shove him a bit and he and his stupid friends would laugh and probably call her a psychopath bitch.

What a fucking hypocrite Peeta Mellark was, calling her heartless when he was guilty of so much worse. 

The final bell rang at last, freeing everyone for the day. Katniss was so caught up in her anger over Peeta and Mr. Abernathy and really, just everyone at this point, that she almost forgot about the call sheet posting. Almost. As soon as Madge reminded her, asking if she wanted to walk over there with her and Gale, all those nerves resurfaced as they headed over to the band room. She kept discreetly wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans, preparing herself to be disappointed, to expect someone like Glimmer to get it, but please, whoever was listening up there, please let her have made captain. If this crappy hellish day could give her just one thing, let it be that.

“I can’t look,” Katniss panicked when she saw the neon pink sign taped to the window connecting to the band office, halting in her steps. “If I didn’t make captain, I don’t know what I’ll do. Punch something?” 

Madge rolled her eyes and offered to check for her. “If Trinket didn’t make you captain, she clearly tripped in those heels and is suffering from some head trauma. Let’s see.” Her manicured finger scrolled down the long list of names until stopping on the Es. “Hm. Katniss, I don’t see your name on here at all.”

Her heart jolted. “What? That can’t be.” She wasn’t positive on being captain, but she was positive she’d at least make the  team  . Were the theatre and dance kids really that much better? She shoved Gale and Madge aside, looking for her name. Abrams...Banks...Carroll...Daly...Edwards...Evans...  Everdeen! And there was an asterisk next to her name! She was captain of next season’s color guard!

“You asshole!” she laughed, shoving Madge in the shoulder. “I’m captain!” She couldn’t help the large smile stretching across her face. She was captain! 

“You are!” Madge cheered, giving her a big tight hug. “Congratulations, Katniss! I’m so proud of you!” 

“Totally not surprised,” Gale said, messing up her hair in a brotherly fashion. She shoved his hand away and gave a playful glare. “And what about my favorite guard member?” he asked, looking down at Madge. “Did you make it, too?” 

Madge gave him a sweet smile and looked further down the list before pumping her fists in excitement. “I did! I made it! Take that Shelly Shoemon from 4th grade for saying I had the coordination skills of a cow!” 

“Totally not surprised,” Gale said again, laughing as he pulled his girlfriend in for a kiss. They locked lips for a while before Katniss cleared her throat and suggested they get a room if they wanted to continue. The couple smiled, Madge’s freckled cheeks tinted pink, but broke apart, their hands remaining clasped together. 

“Should we head over to Sae’s for burgers and ice cream to celebrate?” Gale suggested. “Thom just paid me for fixing his car, so I have the cash to spend.” Both girls happily agreed to his suggestion, excited to share the news with Sae, the diner’s owner and local grandmother to anyone under the age of 40. Good news didn’t feel real until sharing it with Sae. 

“Katniss,” Miss Trinket shouted from somewhere in her office, “is that you?” Her head popped out the doorway, startling the three. “Excellent, dear! I’ve been waiting to speak with you about something. Come in! Come in!” Her hand motioned for her to follow.

“Oh.” Katniss looked over at Gale and Madge, unsure what to say. “Am I in trouble?” 

Miss Trinket laughed. “No, not at all! I just need to discuss some color guard things with my new  captain.” She sang the last word, putting great emphasis on the middle consonants, and glared behind her at, presumably, Mr. Abernathy who probably said something rude in a remark.

“Sure, yeah,” Katniss said, feeling a bit dumb. Of course Miss Trinket wanted to jump right into the thick of things. The woman was the Energizer Bunny on crack when it came to choreography and scheduling. Of course she’d want to talk to her captain about the game plan and how she expected they execute it. “I’m free to talk.” Miss Trinket smiled and stepped back in her office. 

Katniss turned to Madge and Gale, wearing an apologetic smile . “I’ll meet you at Sae’s?” They nodded, not minding the wait, and wished her luck, telling her to text when she was leaving school.

*********

The first thing Katniss noticed amiss when stepping into the adjoined office was Peeta Mellark casually sitting there in front of Mr. Abernathy’s desk, flipping through a pile of sheet music. It wasn’t unusual for band students to volunteer time helping the surly man try to keep the band program organized, but it seemed a little late for a volunteer to still be in here. Abernathy and Trinket were a lot to take and only bearable in small, manageable doses. Most booked it the second the bell rang. 

She paused in the doorway, unsure if she misunderstood Miss Trinket. She meant for them to talk now, right? So what was Peeta doing here?

“Ah, Katniss,” Miss Trinket said, sifting through a stack of notes, not noticing her hesitation. “Take a seat, please.” She motioned to the wooden chair in front of her desk. 

Still unsure what was going on, Katniss gingerly sat down in the offered chair, her bag in her lap, and waited to see what exactly Miss Trinket wanted to talk about with Peeta still here. Guard stuff wasn’t technically private, but it’s not like it was riveting information either. Something didn’t feel right here.

Miss Trinket cleared her throat, catching Katniss’ attention from not looking at Peeta, and folded her hands on top of her desk with a bright, fluorescent smile. “Katniss, I want to be the first to congratulate you on a job well done. Your audition was truly inspiring. Honestly, I wish I could have taped it to show future guard members what true dedication looks like.” Katniss’ cheeks darkened at her director’s lavish compliments. 

“Thank you, Miss Trinket,” she said quietly, feeling a tad uncomfortable being told this in front of Peeta and Mr. Abernathy. “I tried my hardest.” 

“And it shows, dear. It truly shows.” The assistant director looked down at her notes, reading from one of the piles she was sifting through earlier, her long fingernails idly tapping the top metal surface in thought. “In fact,” she said, “I was so impressed with your audition, I’ve decided to make you a very prominent figure in this season’s show. The show’s leading star, as it were.” 

“I’m—um. What?” And then Miss Trinket proceeded to happily explain her vision for how their band was going to tell the tragic tale of Romeo and Juliet, with the occasional grunts from Mr. Abernathy here and there. She explained how she envisioned the houses being represented by the color guard and drumline, feuding together on the field as the music from the band crescendos to the climatic finish.

“Next to you, Katniss,” Miss Trinket said, holding up what looked like a handwritten list of names, “I haven’t quite decided who will play who for color guard, but we have time to iron out these details, dear. What concerns me is how long it is taking Boggs to decide who made it for drumline.” Her eyes slitted at Abernathy. “It seems someone forgot to pass along the deadline I imposed so we could avoid this exact problem.” Mr. Abernathy just gave a noncommittal shrug and continued flipping through the scorebook he was looking at. Miss Trinket rubbed at the corner of her eyes and gave Katniss an exasperated look before continuing on. 

“It took some wheedling to get him to bend to my will, but I do believe many of our seasonal veterans are returning to drumline this year, Peeta being one of them.” She smiled warmly at the boy. For someone finding out good news, Peeta looked bored out of his mind sitting there, listening as Miss Trinket prattled on about visions and forbidden love and what this will mean for the band come competition season.

This all felt like a lot. Like a lot a lot.  

“So let me get this straight,” Katniss said slowly, trying to process it all and not throw up like her stomach wanted. “You want me to be Juliet? Like the Juliet who falls in love and dies at the end? That Juliet?”

If it was at all possible, Miss Trinket’s smile grew, making Katniss feel even sicker. “The very one, my dear! Oh, Katniss, I cannot tell you how  thrilled  I am to have you as our Juliet. I’ve had my guesses who you’d play for a while now, since I decided we should do  Romeo & Juliet a few months back, really.” Mr. Abernathy snorted at that but said nothing to contradict her. “But now, after seeing how much you’ve improved since last season? Truly inspiring! And with your tiny frame, I think we can finally bring air flips into the mix now!  Wouldn’t that look amazing under stadium lights?”

Katniss really felt like she was going to be sick now. “You want me to be a spotlight guard?” Her voice sounded a bit squeaky to her ears. “But that’s—I’ve never been a spotlight guard before! Especially not something to that kind of scale. They’re, like, really important. Like judges judging them important.” 

It was Peeta’s turn to laugh next to her, trying to cover it up with a cough when she turned to glare at him. Why was he here? 

Katniss took a deep breath in to try and quiet the loud ringing noise suddenly blaring in her ears. She was clearly not making a first good impression as captain, but this was so unexpected! Miss Trinket had never had her be a spotlight before. Ever. It was one thing being captain, but this, having her performance carry the entire story? Yeah, no thanks.  

“Are you sure you want it to be me?” she asked, her voice a lot calmer than she felt. “I was thinking you’d want someone like Madge—or Glimmer—for something this important. You’re always saying how swan-like Glimmer is on the field. Don’t you want Juliet to look like a swan?” 

“Told you she wouldn’t be for it,” Peeta muttered next to her, a knowing smile on his face as he shook his head in amusement. Oh, he just thought he knew everything about her, didn’t he? Like he was some Katniss Everdeen expert.

“Why are you even here?” she finally asked him. “This clearly has nothing to do with you. Can’t you file music somewhere else?” 

“Isn’t it a bit obvious why I’m here, Katniss?” he asked her incredulously, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed. “I thought you were more observant than this.”

Before she could reply, Miss Trinket held her hands up. “Enough! Peeta, I’ll kindly ask you to please sit there quietly, as we discussed.” Discussed? When did they have time to discuss this? Then she remembered earlier. Miss Trinket needing to speak with Peeta, breaking up their argument. They were discussing her? Why did Peeta have to know that Miss Trinket wanted her as Juliet. She was clearly missing something obvious, like Peeta said, but her mind was shot. Barely able to process anything anymore as her anxiety kicked into gear. 

“And, Katniss.” She looked up at the sound of her name. “Please keep an open mind about this. I understand to some, being a lead is scary, but trust me when I say, I have my absolute faith in you. 

“Madge and Glimmer are talented girls, yes,” Miss Trinket explained, “but I’m afraid they are too tall for what I have in mind for choreography. You know how important these things can be. We need someone petite like you, Katniss. Someone Peeta can easily pick up and twirl without fear of dropping.” She motioned a manicured hand at Peeta, his face staring at her expectantly. 

But Katniss’ brain was still running in circles. “Peeta’s not on guard. Why would he be picking me up?” 

Miss Trinket’s patient smile looked strained now. “As I already told you,” she said slowly, surely believing Katniss dense now, “Guard and drumline will be representing the two houses. Guard will be Capulet and drumline Montague. Peeta’s on drumline, so naturally he’d be our star Montague.” 

Her mind finally caught up to what everyone was suggesting. “Wait,” she said, sitting at the edge of her seat now. “If I’m Juliet and you’re saying he’s the star…” Her focus drifted to Peeta, who gave an amused, cocky wave, surely enjoying the multitude of emotions crossing her face in this moment. Her stomach dropped, this news hitting her harder than the spotlight one. “You’re Romeo?” 

Instead of just answering with a simple yes/no like a normal person, or even some Ding! Ding! Ding!  joke, Peeta lowered himself to the floor and responded in all his annoyingly obnoxious flair:  “‘But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.’” He closed his eyes on the last word and reached for her hand, giving it a gentle kiss, his lips soft and warm against her now clammy skin. She swatted her hand away, tucking it around her bag for protection. 

No. No, no, no. No! 

This had to be a mistake. Her and Peeta Mellark? As Romeo and Juliet? 

That was what Miss Trinket wanted to talk to him about, she realized. It wasn’t about her at all. She wanted to talk to him about being Romeo for the field show. 

“I don’t understand,” Katniss said at last, when her stomach had finally recovered itself. “How can  Peeta be Romeo when he’s going to be busy marching around with a snare drum? What about Finnick? He’s tall. Taller than Peeta, for sure. I’m sure he could just as easily lift me.” 

Was she seriously that desperate to prefer the preening peacock Finnick Odair? 

Yes, yes she was. 

“Finnick will most likely play our Tybalt,” Miss Trinket remarked. “And as he is on guard, he will play a Capulet role.” 

“What about gender bending the role?” Katniss suggested. “Who says Juliet has to be a girl? We are in the 21st century. And didn’t Shakespeare have men play the female roles, anyway? Let Finnick play Juliet to Peeta’s Romeo. He’d be perfect in the role.” 

“Should I feel insulted that you don’t want to be my partner, Katniss?” Peeta innocently asked, enjoying this way too much. Her fists gripped her bag hard, her eyes deadly slits. People often told her how intimidating she looked, but Peeta didn’t even bat an eye. He was all smiles and dimples. If only looks could kill...

“Katniss,” Miss Trinket said curtly, snapping her attention back on the director, “I chose you as my next in command because I trust in your talent and know you are a driven young woman who people look up to. Now we both want the pleasure of seeing this band win first place at PSU, don’t we?” 

“Yes, but—” 

“And we will do what is necessary to move this band toward that goal, correct?” 

“Of course, but—” 

“But nothing, Everdeen,” Mr. Abernathy interjected at last, kicking his feet off the tall pile of sheet music laying by his desk. “You want to win?” He shook his hand at her, not needing a response. “Stupid question. Of course you do. I can see it all over your face. You’re too competitive to hide it. Well, to win you have to please the judges. Plain and simple. Judges like this kind of flair nonsense. So play our star-crossed lovers—” 

“We’re not star-crossed lovers!” Katniss grit out, a bit harder than she intended, unable to look at Peeta as she said it. Not like it mattered. She could practically feel his amusement radiating off his person. “This won’t work, Mr. Abernathy. Don’t you want people who’ll get along? Peeta and I hate each other. We have for a really long time.” 

“Who cares?” Mr. Abernathy asked, throwing his hands up in exasperation, his longish black hair falling in his face from the motion. “Pretend. Act like your lovesick classmates. I don’t care. It’s all a big show, anyway, and if pairing you two up wins us enough brownie points to win and shuts Trinket up for a year, then that’s what we’re going to do. Mellark’s already agreed to it and he’s never danced a day in his life. So now it’s your turn to be a good girl and agree to the plan, Everdeen. Got it?” 

“Got it,” she muttered, slouching low in her chair. Of all the things she expected to hear today, pretending to be in love with Peeta Mellark was not one of them. This was definitely going to blow up in everyone’s faces, she was sure of it. Putting on a performance smile for judges was one thing, but acting like she was in love with Peeta was another. And then hoping he wouldn’t drop her when doing those stupid flips Miss Trinket mentioned? She was going to be in a body cast by the end of the season.

Peeta seemed to have dropped the amusement act at last, mirroring her sour mood as the two directors discussed extra one-on-one rehearsal time with Miss Trinket to better prepare Peeta since he had zero dance experience. Katniss tried to pay attention, but she couldn’t stop her eyes from glancing over at Peeta, wondering what he could possibly be thinking during all this. His jaw was clenched, she could tell, but he wasn’t looking at her or Trinket or even Abernathy. He was focusing on picking at a hole in his jeans, his eyebrows scrunched together. She understood the conflict—was feeling it herself—but he didn’t look mad. Just...troubled. Like something was said that he was having a hard time with.

Where to begin? Katniss thought bitterly, still unable to believe they were actually being forced to play Romeo and Juliet, like they were in some teenage drama or something.

“I know we have lots to work on, but just seeing the two of you together like this,” Miss Trinket said, motioning between them, “tells me I made the right decision. Look how adorable you two look! Pearls on a necklace! Didn’t I say that’s what they reminded me of, Haymitch?” She turned to Abernathy, who was now busy digging dirt from under his nails with his baton. Miss Trinket frowned before catching herself. “I did, I did! I said that earlier when I found you talking in the back.” She winked and oh god. Could they just go already?

********

It took another fifteen minutes of talking and goodbyes that were very much not goodbyes before they were truly free from the office. Katniss bolted out the side door as quickly as she could, cursing under her breath at how long she’d been in there. That took almost an hour! Madge and Gale were probably wondering what was taking so long. Or maybe not. It was Trinket, after all. 

The parking lot was nearly empty now as she crossed it, digging around for her battered up phone to text. Hopefully they were still up for burgers because after that talk...yeah. She needed the greasiest burger available. Wait until she tells her friends she’s playing Juliet and that Peeta Mellark was her Romeo. They might not believe her, thinking it a practical joke and asking what Trinket really wanted. That’s how absurd this whole situation sounded. 

“Katniss!” she heard her name called out. “Hey, wait up!” She turned and saw Peeta waving her down, his long legs quickly catching up to her. Part of her wanted to pretend she didn’t hear him and keep moving, her car just across the street from where she stood. It’d be a safer bet, too, moving along, because nothing good was ever said when she was upset. This afternoon being a prime example. But for some reason, she was curious what Peeta had to say about all this. She stopped at the street corner and pretended to check for traffic despite the road being empty of any moving vehicle. 

“Damn,” he laughed, a bit breathless as he caught up next to her. “I forgot how fast your fight or flight response is.” 

“I’m not fleeing,” she frowned, checking the street for real this time before crossing. She dug around the front pocket of her book bag, pulling out both her keys and phone. “School’s done and I’m going to Sae’s with Gale and Madge. You know, my friends.”

“I know who Gale and Madge are.” 

“Just checking,” she stated cooly, flipping her braid over her shoulder, “since you practically accused me of having none earlier.” 

He winced. “Yeah, not the finest thing I’ve ever said. I’m sorry about that.” 

She shrugged. “It’s fine, Peeta.” It wasn’t, but if she kept telling herself that, maybe she’ll believe it. “We can’t all be Mr. Popular like you.” 

“Right.” He looked back at the student parking lot where he parked. Unlike her family, his could afford the $350 the school charged for a parking space. “Listen, about what you said in there. About us hating each other.” Katniss raised an eyebrow, curious where this would lead. “I don’t...hate you.” 

Well that was...unexpected. Was that why he looked so troubled in the meeting? Because she said they hated each other? She took a step back from him, realizing he was closer than she felt comfortable with, and waited for the rest of it. It didn’t sound like he was finished, like there was a big but hanging at the end of his sentence. What else did he want to say?  But I still don’t really like you?  But I think you’re annoying and working with you is going to suck? But I think you’re a bitch? Honestly, the list could go on about all the negative things Peeta could say about her, but he said nothing. He just looked down at his shoes and kicked at some loose pebbles in the street. 

“Oh,” she said, unsure what else there was to say. “I guess that will make rehearsal easier.” 

He nodded, a bit too jerky to look natural. “Yeah. I just—it’s important to me that you know that I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you. Mad beyond belief? Yeah. Lots of times, actually. But never hate. I could never hate you, Katniss.”

“Oh,” she said again, dumbfounded. “Well, thanks, Peeta. I guess. That’s... Good to know.” And just because her sour mood couldn’t help itself, “I’ll be able to sleep happy tonight knowing you don’t hate me.” She made a face, instantly regretting her words, and yanked open her car door, needing to just leave. “Listen, I gotta go. Gale and Madge are already waiting for me and Trinket took forever rambling about how we’re pearl necklaces. They’re waiting for me.” 

He didn’t say anything as she got in the car, the loud, embarrassing screech of her engine once on making any type of conversation near impossible to hold. He stepped away and gave a halfhearted wave, all bravado gone now, as she pulled away from the curb. By the time she thought to wave back, it was too late and her car was halfway down the street. 

God, she really was a heartless bitch.

*******

It was only hours later—after returning home from drowning her frustrations in the thickest chocolate shake Sae could make and celebrating her good news with her mom and sister over pizza—did she allow herself to think about Peeta Mellark. 

On a whim, she pulled the framed photo she kept of her and her dad off her nightstand and held it, her grip tightening as she studied the ridiculous faces they’re making at the camera. It was one of the last pictures they took together before his passing. She can’t remember what prompted them to make the faces, but she wished she could go back and make them again with him. To be with her dad for just one more day. One more hour, even. She’d do anything for that. 

Katniss closed her eyes and hugged the frame close to her chest for a moment, trying to stop any tears from slipping past her tight emotional control. She was safe to cry in her room, but wanted to wait until she was in bed with the lights turned off before crying over this emotionally draining day. 

When it felt like she had her emotions under control, Katniss used her longest fingernail to lift the tabs on the back of the frame and carefully took the picture out, unfolding the right-half of it to reveal a young curly-haired Peeta smiling up at her, her dad’s arm thrown over his shoulders. 

She stared at the full photo for the longest time, remembering how mad she was at him for taking this one simple thing from her. She never minded Peeta being in her family photos before. She sometimes pulled him in for ones when her dad or mom shouted, “Picture time! Show us your pearly whites!” But that was when she still thought they’d have more time. Why wouldn’t there be more time? Dads weren’t supposed to die until you were old and had kids of your own. That’s how it was  supposed to be. They weren’t supposed to die when you’re eleven and barely old enough to understand the cruelty of the world. The unfairness of it all. 

Katniss barely remembered a time when it was just her and her dad. Alone. No Peeta. No Prim. Just Dad and her. 

She didn’t even have a good photo of just the two of them.

Just boxes upon boxes of photos of him, her, and Peeta. 

The magical trio.

The full photo didn’t bring up any past resentment this time, though. Instead, it reminded her how much fun the three of them used to have, bumming around town while Aunt Lulu watched Prim at her shop, singing along to the radio and playing Punch Buggy. Her dad always made it a point to include Peeta on any outing they made, even if it involved going to the grocery store. How disappointed Dad would be seeing us now, she thought, tracing over his face with her thumb. Her and Peeta not friends anymore.

But Peeta Mellark doesn’t hate her. Katniss didn’t understand why hearing that felt like a weight had lifted off her, but she felt lighter now, the more she thought about it. Like it was easier to breathe again.

“Peeta Mellark doesn’t hate me,” she whispered to the photo, the words tasting sweet on her tongue. A small smile pulled at her lips and she said it again. “He doesn’t hate me, Dad.” 

Katniss didn’t understand why Peeta thought it was important she knew he didn’t hate her, but it was all her mind kept thinking of, and she was glad to hear it. 

He didn’t hate her. He never had.

[tay-tay-everlark13]

My friend once said "Katniss is a pick me" . Like, I know she said that just to make me angry or something, she didn't even read a books and watched only once the whole series (I forced her), so I know why she said that, but I have to defend her from these accusations (although she could do it as good or better by herself).

So, she is NOT a pick me. Okay? She is not. A pick me is someone who wants to have a full attention 24/7 (which Katniss is COMPLETELY opposite), and would do anything to got this (Katniss did anything to not having any attention). And, the most important, she is going to do everything to end up with her crush (Katniss did everything to save Peeta and keep him alive, and yeah, she wanted to be with him, but she didn't do it for attention, GOD. She even didn't want to be with ANYONE in some moments, because she didn't have time for lovers). I HATE when people calls her a pick me. Maybe it's just my friend, but still.

And if someone is pick me in the hunger games, it's Gale.

[m0nsterqzzz]

You Drew Stars Around my Scars (Katniss Everdeen x female reader)

summary: you know Katniss struggles to look at the scars she has when she comes home after the games, so you do something to make them a bit more easy to see.

warnings: talks of scars, the games?, gale 🤮 is mentioned at least once

a/n: I was literally so scared to post this but I just reminded myself that this is for fun and anyone who wants to say anything needs to remember that too. I will gladly accept kind criticism but I will not accept crap from strangers. I know it's really short but I wanted to post one of my katniss ones cuz im currently obsessed with the hunger games books. enjoy :) ♡

Katniss lies asleep in bed, unaware that you- her girlfriend- is now getting up and getting ready to go visit your family in the village for a bit. 

You get dressed, and then look at the clock on the wall and decide you have a bit of time to sit back down and read until you have to be on your way. You pick up your recent favorite book on your nightstand and begin reading, but something catches your eye. On Katniss' arm is a long healed scar from her days in the arena. They are all over her upper and lower body, as the capitol didn’t care to get rid of any that were not visible, and it brought tears to your eyes the first time you saw them when she came home.

Of course you knew she had them. In fact, you were forced to watch how she got them during the games. But nothing could have prepared you to see her standing in front of your guys bathroom mirror naked, eyes scanning over her body but still holding the same dead look they had for the few weeks before this. She hadn’t seen you in the mirror but turned around when she heard a gasp, still on alert after everything she went through. You didn’t say anything else about the healed wounds, but you did pull her into a tight hug as if she would leave once again if you even dared to loosen your grip.

You gently trace the scar, making sure she's still asleep as you grab a pen from the nightstand. You do your best to be quiet as you reposition on the bed and begin drawing lightly on her skin.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

About an hour later, Katniss wakes up to the sunlight peaking through the window and onto her face. She opens and then closes her eyes, moving to feel on your side of the bed, only to find cold sheets. 

Her eyes snap open, scanning the room and yelling out your name as millions of possibilities run through her head. The only thing that stops her from grabbing her bow -which now stays underneath the bed at all times- is the little note taped to her stomach. 

Dear my love,

I did not wish to wake you from your sleep as you looked very peaceful. I am off to visit my family in the village and will be back in a few hours. I love you, and take care of yourself.

With much love, 

your girlfriend.

She smiles a bit, but sighs at the thought of you not being here to hold her this morning. She forces herself out of bed with the promise she would take care of herself as you wish, and goes downstairs to make herself some breakfast.

Prim is downstairs at the table, peanut butter sandwich in hand and staring at the book in front of her. She doesn't look up until Katniss speaks. “Morning Prim.” Even then, all she does is send her a small nod and smile. “Oh! your girlfriend wanted me to tell you that she left if you didn't see the note.” Prim says.

You and Katniss began dating when you were 15, and even then you had been friends long before that. You watched Prim grow up and did the best that you could with your equally poor family to help the little girl survive. You and her mother were the only things she had when Katniss volunteered as tribute, and you spent nights stroking her hair as the young girl cried out that it was her fault. You would never tell Katniss this, out of respect for Prim, and the brunette could definitely tell you and her little sister were closer than ever when she came home.

“What's that on your arm?” Prim asks, pointing to the scar on her older sister's belief. Katniss doesn't look, knowing already that there is a large scar there which can usually be covered by her shirt sleeves. “My scar. You know this.” She sighs, reaching up to the top cabinet. Her shirt sleeve goes down a little in the process, and its only then does she realize what her sister is talking about.

All around her scar, are little stars of all shapes and sizes, some colored in, some hearts laying around. She takes a moment to look at it, before she lifts up her shirt to reveal the same thing down to a smaller scar on her side. She lifts up the right leg of her pajama pants, and sure enough, more little drawings along the entirety of her burn scar.

A small giggle leaves her, and it turns into a genuine laugh as she gently traces over the drawings. She turns to Prim, who also has a small smile on her face as she looks at her sister's genuine happiness. It hasn't happened very many times in the past few weeks, and it brings a bright smile to Prim's face at the sight of her genuinely happy sister.

You walk in right at that moment, and Katniss practically leaps into your arms. You stumble at first, but catch her nonetheless and hold her to you tightly. “I missed you.” “I missed you too darling.” Your words make Prim fake gag as she finishes up her sandwich and leaves the kitchen.

The hunter leans back a bit to place a small kiss on her lips, though you have to break away when she is smiling to much to continue. “Katniss Everdeen. What did you do?” You fake gasp. “Did you kill Gale?” She chuckles, rolling her eyes and kissing your forehead with the simple words. “You drew stars around my scars.” You nod in agreement.

 “This is why I love you.” Her words bring a shock to you, having never heard them uttered from that girl to you before. She continues, “I love you so fucking much. You are my whole world and being in that arena……it just proved it.” 

You take a moment to remember how to breathe before quietly telling her as if its a secret only she can know, “I love you to Katniss Everdeen. I love you more than I love anything, actually.” 

Katniss Everdeen is the girl of your dreams. You may not have known it when you were seven and she placed a kiss on your cheek and you blushed beet red, or when you were twelve and she held your hand the entire school day, but you did know it when you were 15, and she brought over what was left of her families' dinner to feed your dying mother. You did know it when you were 16, and Katniss yelled out, “I volunteer as tribute!”. and you knew it when she crashed into your arms two months after that. And you know it now. Part of you has always known you love Katniss. And now you'll spend the rest of your life proving it.

[corlds-world]

Top 10 Females from my Fandoms

This is all my opinion. It’s also from the fandoms I’m in (which are pretty popular). Your opinion of course will be different from mine. But I like sharing what I think and I like hearing your opinion, too. Also we’re doing ladies first because why not. Also I’m not good at explaining my opinion. So without further ado, here’s my top 10 females. Spoilers!

10. Meg (Supernatural) Meg is definitely my favorite female character from Supernatural. She’s a villain turned anti-hero. Also a demon. And being a recurring demon in Supernatural is a quick way to earn a spot in my favorite characters list. Apologies for Ruby for not making the cut though. Anyway, Meg is tough as hell (no pun intended). She starts by working for her dad, but that’s she’s not working for her dad because she’s a daddy’s girl. She works for her dad so she can get this apocalypse started. Her real loyalties lay with Lucifer. So when Lucifer was sent back to hell, she became a lone wolf. Season 6-8 Meg is my favorite, when she’s a lone wolf against Crowley. And I think the Winchesters have always been a little intimidated by Meg. Only 5′6″ to their 7′ but still has got fire. 

9. Carol Danvers / Captain Marvel (MCU) I couldn’t just leave out the first woman to ever get a solo movie in the MCU. It was a long time waiting, but we still got it. I was pondering for a while between Natasha and Carol. I decided to go with Carol really just because I’m so excited for Phase 4 of the MCU. I’m the kind of girl that looks ahead. Captain Marvel is for sure one of my favorite solo movies in the MCU. Carol was a air force pilot from the 90′s who was told all her life that she couldn’t become a pilot. Like you see in the trailer, she picks herself back up time after time. And then she loses her memory, but she doesn’t lose that fighting spirit. She just has superpowers from the space stone. She knows her rights and her wrongs better than most people. It’s what makes her an amazing superhero. And she literally destroyed a huge spaceship in Endgame. I can’t wait to see what Brie Larson has in store for us because she is not done for sure.

8. Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter) I know there’s a lot of controversy with the Harry Potter fandom right now, but I just can’t help but place Luna on this list. She’s an amazing character. As a fellow Ravenclaw, she really showed us what Ravenclaw was all about: wisdom and having an open mind. She knows her spells, too, and does her homework (I think). I think more people would expect Hermione on the list, but she didn’t resonate with me the way Luna did. She’s bullied for thinking differently, which really resonated with me. But she’s got her close friends and that’s all that really matters to her. She was the first character I saw myself in, even if she’s just thinks differently than I do.

7. Eleven (Stranger Things) I really did not want to put Eleven this low. But I really just couldn’t put her higher because the girls above her are just better. However, Eleven is awesome. Truly awesome. We gotta respect the only character in Stranger Things that has superpowers. Nothing holds Eleven down. She escapes from a crazy laboratory and finds her new friends who she will literally do anything to protect. And she was messed up in that lab. But she still knows good from evil. She knew that her friends were not going to screw her over. And when she thought they were going to screw her, she kinda just said no. Like okay. She’s brave and kind and badass and everything I want in a superhero. I she’s a little intimidated by the world around her, but I would have run right back to what I knew if I were her. I think her bravery really shone in the third season. I’m sad about what’s happening to her powers, but I think they’ll find a way to get them back. Even if they don’t, I think Eleven will still prove to be everything she is without them. And just look at her. She’s just so cute. 

6. Hazel Levesque (Riordanverse) I told you this was my list and I think Hazel deserves a spot. I mean, the youngest person on the Argo II, daughter of Pluto, can control the Mist and all the jewels in the earth, and tamed an untameable immortal horse. What more do you want? Yes, yes. I love Annabeth, but I really resonated with Hazel more, mostly because she just seems sweeter than Annabeth. I’m a sweet and shy person. And I love horses. And the 40′s. Speaking of which, a POC in the 40′s in Louisiana? If I ever make a top 10 POC characters, we’ll brush up on that. Anyway, let’s talk about when she died. Did I mention she died? She gave up an eternity of happiness so her mother (who was not good to Hazel) wouldn’t have an eternity of misery. Gotta thank Nico, though, for bringing one of my faves back to life. But when Nico was in trouble, there was nothing that Hazel wouldn’t do to help her brother. And when Hazel learned how to control the Mist in couple of weeks? What a display of power. She’s had a hard life, but she’s come out stronger because of it. 

5. Katniss Everdeen (Hunger Games) What? Why is Katniss so low? Mostly because it’s been a while since I’ve read the Hunger Games. I never even finished it. I stopped halfway through Mockingjay. I really like Katniss, though. She’s never had a lot. Let’s just start with the obvious that she takes on the Capital. Like you’re taking on the government? Okay go off. Of course, it’s not for no reason. They’re slaughtering everyone. But let’s just talk about when she’s in the Hunger Games the first time. I don’t think I could start to go into detail about everything that Katniss has done. She’s a badass in summary. She took on people that train for the event. She dropped a... what are they called? *googles hunger games bees* Tracker jackers! She dropped a nest full of tracker jackers on to those stuck-up kids. And Rue. Rue helped. Rue’s the best. She’s not on the list, but still. I love Rue and Katniss’ friendship, even if didn’t last. I’m sorry Rue you had to die if Katniss was to win. Anyway, Peeta got her in sort of a weird romance, but I think Katniss saved Peeta more times than Peeta saved Katniss. I love gender role reversals. Also I’m such a sucker for girls who can shoot a bow.  So, yeah, Katniss gets her spot which is very well earned. 

4. Vanya Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) The second season recently came out so she’s fresh in my mind. The most powerful sibling in the Academy uses sound to harness energy. And does she do it in style. Yeah, she kind of causes the apocalypse, but that’s not her fault. It’s Luther’s. And Reginald's. Vanya had a rough childhood. She was told all her life that she was ordinary in a house where there where only the extraordinary.  But she powered through it. And wrote a book as revenge. Like Five said, that took guts. She’s such a complicated character. She’s shy and kind. But don’t make her mad. She might stab you. I really couldn’t believe how hard I cheered when she killed Harold. Like it was bad. Also she blew up the moon. Do you want more? She’s dating a farm frau. If I ever make a top 10 canon couples, that’s going on the list. You know, if you can’t go straight, go gay. Also she’s a human bomb. I’m a sucker for human bombs. And memes. 

3. Morgana Pendragon (Merlin) I really love good girls turned bad. I was a little worried that Morgana was just going to be Merlin’s love interest in season 1. But man was I wrong. Going from a ward with bad dreams to a witch determined to be queen. I was actually kind of rooting for her. But that just could be because Katie is a phenomenal actress. But anyway, Morgana really has issues, which is why she’s top 3. Also the fact that she didn’t have a girlfriend, so disappointing. But she’s a villain, and villains don’t have lovers. Or they’re not supposed to in my book. Also she can go toe to toe with Merlin, who is supposed to be one of the best sorcerers of all time. What a show of power. 

2. Regina Mills (Once Upon a Time) My favorite redemption arc. From good to evil and back to good. Honestly one of my favorite characters to watch. And Lana just does such a good job with it. Do you see the trend that I have with my favorite characters? Tragic background is the base requirement. Magical badass gives you an improvement in the list. But Regina has had a horrible life. The fact that she is classified as a villain is heartbreaking sometimes. But she did kill a ton of people so she’s definitely a villain in the storybooks. And that sass. Only Regina could pull off that sass. But I think the fact that she tries to be good when it is not in her nature, I think that speaks volumes. 

1. Kara Danvers / Supergirl (Supergirl) I feel like people just got thrown for a loop. It’s like wait a minute. Didn’t you just say that your favorite kind of character is a “magical badass with a tragic background?” Um maybe. But Kara has her own tragedies. She just doesn’t show it. She lost her parents when she was 12. Not just her parents, but almost her whole family and all of her home. But she learned to have a new home on Earth. But she manages to figure out how to save the world with all of these conflicts in her life. Shoutout to Alex for being an awesome sister. And she has a great social life, something I aspire to have. I’m so upset that the show is ending after season 6. I love Kara so much. Kara is the most amazing woman in the Arrowverse so I’m so sorry to see her go. 

[kriscme]

One Life To Live

Hi Readers, here’s the latest chapter.   Thanks to Ronja for allowing me to write fanfic of her Hunger Games fanfic “The Chance You Didn’t Take” which you can read on AO3 and FanFiction. Chapter 27 The gates of Victor’s Village looms closer with every step.   I wish I could grab Marcus by the hand and run back into the woods.  To live in the concrete house by the lake, just the two of us, and live on wild greens, berries and katniss roots.   To make love long into the night, and then bring out our sleeping mats as we did last night, to lie beneath clear skies to watch for shooting stars.   Marcus would point out the constellations – big bear, little bear, lynx – and I’d say they look nothing like them, and then we’d take our sleeping mats back into the concrete house to sleep in each other’s arms until the morning light.  And we’d live it over, and over again, so I’d never have to face what lies beyond those gates. It’s not long to the wedding and I dread the thought of it, but I have to go.  If I don’t, there’ll be talk.  Flavius keeps me abreast of all the gossip. The relationship between Peeta and Lace isn’t popular, and this wedding is seen by many as the ultimate betrayal, so invested were people in our romance.  I don’t know if Peeta is aware of it; he seems to live in a fantasy world sometimes. But Lace surely would.   To protect him, I have to appear as if I’m fine with it.  And that means fronting up to the wedding, all smiles and best wishes for the happy couple.  But I’m far from confident that I can pull it off.   And there’s after.  Living across the road from them.  Knowing that Lace occupies his bed every night.  His happiness, her smugness.  The pain of interacting with him.  What are we now, anyway?  Not friends anymore, not really.  Acquaintances?  Fellow veterans?  And they intend having children too.  Five of them. It will likely be straight off, if Peeta has his way.  And when they’re old enough they’ll go to school.  The school I work at.  And be in my classroom.  I’ll never be free of them, even if I do move out of the Village.   Not only would I need to change houses.  I would need to change jobs.  Maybe even change Districts. As we pass through the gates, I can’t help but drag my feet.  Marcus turns his head to peer questioningly at my face.   I pick up my pace to catch up with him.  We’re nearly at my house. “I’m just tired,” I tell him.  “And hungry.” “You’re a woman of immense appetites, Katniss Everdeen,” he says, pulling me towards him to give me a quick, hard kiss.  “And whose fault is that?” I retort.  “If you weren’t so good at cooking and – “ “Fucking?” asks a disembodied voice.   A female shape emerges from the shadows of my porch. It’s Johanna.  She appears to have been waiting for us.   “You’re late,” she accuses.  “You said you’d be back around mid-afternoon.” I scowl at her.  I know what I said, but I don’t like her tone.  I’m not obliged to be back at a certain time to please her. Besides, what’s she even doing here? It’s not like I invited her over and wasn’t here when she arrived.   “We came back a different way.  It took longer,” I say curtly.  That’s all the explanation I want to give, but Marcus, perhaps to diffuse the tension, steps in to give Johanna a brief welcoming hug. “Katniss had something to show me.  Would you believe an oak with a circumference of over 23 feet?  At least three hundred years old.”   “That’s nothing,” says Johanna dismissively. “In 7 we have trees much bigger and older than that.” “Is there anything we can help you with?” I break in.  I’m not in the mood for a contest over which district has the biggest trees.   All I want is to offload this heavy pack, have a bite to eat and then go to bed.   “I need to speak with you.   That’s if you can spare the time,” she replies, her voice edged with sarcasm.  What is her problem?  She hasn’t been this hostile towards me since the Quell.   I turn to Marcus in exasperation.  He takes the hint and moves towards the door.  “Why don’t I see what I can scrounge up for supper? Will you be joining us, Jo?” I can see the struggle in her face.   This is food and Johanna will rarely pass on an invitation.  “No thanks,” she says, and I can see it’s hurting.  “I shouldn’t stay away for too long.” After Marcus closes the door behind him, I hoist my pack from my shoulders and drop it to the floor.  My feet are tired and I sit down on the top step, motioning for Johanna to do the same but she remains standing, arms crossed in front of her.   Before I can even open my mouth, she lets me have it. “Are you with Marcus now?” she demands. “None of –,” I begin, but then think better of it.  I don’t want to add fuel to whatever fire is bugging Johanna.  I start again.  “I don’t know.  Maybe.” And that’s the truth.  I’m not so naïve to believe that a weekend of sex makes us boyfriend and girlfriend.  Nothing’s been said about feelings, or our future. “But you’re fucking him?” Johanna persists.  It’s more a statement than a question. “We’ve had sex, if that’s any of your business,” I say stiffly. “Of course, it’s my business.  It became my business when you involved me in this whole sorry saga with Peeta.”  My irritation with her rises another notch.  It was her idea to get involved, not mine.   “Not that you shouldn’t fuck him,” she continues.  “Peeta’s had his fun, so why can’t you?  Heck, I’d even say fuck the entire district; you don’t owe him anything.   But it doesn’t help, you know.   Not when I’ve been working my arse off to get the two of you back together.  But today I really could have used your help.   With Peeta having flashbacks every five minutes and Haymitch next to useless.   Aurelius says it’s the stress but – “ “Wait!  Slow down.  I can’t make head or tail of what you’re on about.”  I shake my head in confusion.   “What stress? And why isn’t Lace taking care of him? It should be her responsibility, not yours.   I don’t –” “They broke up.” It takes a few seconds to sink in.  And when it does, all I can do is stare at Johanna thunderstruck.  “But why?” I eventually get out.  “Is it because she lied?” Johanna shrugs.  “I asked him that.  He said they both lied.”     She comes to sit down beside me on the porch step, having calmed down a little.  “When he came home last night, he didn’t seem too bad, just really flat, like he had nothing left.  But this morning, he started having those flashbacks he gets where he has to clutch the back of a chair or something.   I went to Haymitch for help but he chose last night, of all nights, to go on a bender. I couldn’t get one sensible word out of him.”   “Sometimes a jug of cold water thrown over him helps,” I say absently, still stunned over the news of Peeta and Lace’s breakup.  Despite myself, a kernel of hope takes root in my heart.  Could the breakup have been over me, even just a little bit?  But then just as quickly, I squash it down flat, stomp it back down into the earth, and bury it deep.  Fool!  When will you learn? My gaze settles on his house across the street, only a very short distance away, and I wish I could be there with him.   I feel bad that I wasn’t, but I know I wouldn’t have been wanted even if I had. He has enough to deal with without adding his current awkwardness with me to the mix.  How can you feel right accepting comfort for heartbreak, when the very person who’s doing the comforting is heartbroken over you?    I’m very grateful that Johanna is taking care of him, but I can’t help feeling jealous too. She gets to be the one to protect him, when it used to be me.   Johanna’s voice snaps me back to attention. “So, I got on the phone to Aurelius and told him what happened.  He said emotional stress exacerbates his condition and to increase his meds.  Which I did, but he still kept on having them. A couple of hours ago I slipped some sleep syrup into his tea, so he could get some rest, and he’s now sleeping it off.  I don’t want to be gone too long on the chance he wakes up.  Although I did give him a big dose.” If it was the same as I gave him in our first Games, he’ll be out until at least noon tomorrow.  “How did you get him to drink it?  He would have noticed the sweetness.  He doesn’t take sugar in his tea.”   “I think he wanted to be knocked out,” says Johanna.  “He was exhausted.” “Do you know who broke it off?” I ask. It seems to me that it must have been Lace since he’s taken it so hard.   “No.  I couldn’t get him to talk much.”  She lets out a breath and shakes her head.  “What a mess! The reception will have to be cancelled, though I doubt he’ll get his money back at such short notice.  And what he’s spent on clothes for himself and the wedding party.” That’s news to me.  Surely Peeta wasn’t paying to outfit the entire wedding party.  Who was to be in it, anyway?  And then it dawns on me.  Of course, friends and family of Lace.   “At least there’s one blessing, Lace’s relatives are still in 8 so he hadn’t yet paid for hotel rooms for them all.  He’d booked the best rooms for them too.”  Johanna rolls her eyes at this.   I narrow mine.  That bitch! And after I had warned her not to encourage Peeta’s extravagant spending on this wedding.   “Do you think he’ll be alright?” I ask.  “He’s already gone through so much.” “Yeah, I think so,” she answers.   “He’s had a lucky escape if you ask me, although it might take a while for him to see it that way.  That relationship always seemed off to me – like they were trying too hard.  I would have given it a year if they’d married.  Eighteen months, tops.” “Maybe,” I say uncommittedly.  I don’t know if I agree.  What I do know is that Peeta would have given it everything he had to make it work.  And if a mutual love of swimming pools and dining out at restaurants is a good foundation for a marriage, then they had it.  They both wanted kids too and that’s something I can’t promise him.  Peeta would be a wonderful father. If anyone is to be a parent, anyone can see it should be Peeta.   “So, is it serious between you and Marcus? Because you might have a shot with Peeta now,” says Johanna. “No!” I burst out, and Johanna’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise at the ferocity of my response.  “I don’t have any chance with Peeta, none at all, so you can give that game up right now.  He knows how I feel about him.  He guessed from something Haymitch told him and he’s been avoiding me since.  And I’m tired, Jo.  Tired of getting my hopes up and then having them dashed.  I’ve spent the past year trying to remind him what we were to each other, and failed.  But the simple truth is that, if he loved me, he wouldn’t have got with Lace in the first place. I’m not . . . I just don’t want to go there anymore.  I’ve had enough. ” “Wow! That was extreme,” Johanna says, shooting me an incredulous look.  “I thought the mission was to help Peeta find himself.  Which would also include regaining his attraction to you.  I assume then that you’ve given up?” “Not given up.  Faced reality.” I say.

“Humph!” snorts Johanna, unconvinced.  “Well, it’s your call but before I let it go for good, I want to tell you a theory I’ve been working on.  Just don’t say anything until I’ve finished.” “Alright, go ahead,” I say wearily, scrubbing at my forehead.  Johanna will do what she wants to anyway. “Well,” she starts, with the air of someone telling a story to a small child, “it involves this man – let’s call him Peeta – who had his mind shattered into a million pieces by an evil troll – we’ll call him Snow – and when his mind was put back together again, some of the pieces were in the wrong place.  And his love for his teenage crush – Katniss, we’ll call her – had gone AWOL and had been replaced with a conviction that she had never loved him, and never could.  And then along comes this other woman – known as Lace, although it’s not her real name – and even though she’s a giggling idiot, she knows how to pander to his ego - which is in the toilet, by the way - with lavish displays of admiration and affection.   “But then one day, he wakes up, and realizes that what he loved about Lace, was really his own needs reflected back at him. And also that she was a lying deceitful bitch.  At the same time, he’s come to realise that it’s Katniss he really loves, but he thinks that not only has he ruined any chance he might have had with her by being with Lace, she’s now with another man, who not only likes the things she likes, but has two legs, no burn scars and isn’t a mental mess.  So, to be fair to Lace, he breaks it off with her, and to be fair to Katniss, he leaves her alone to live her life.  But then, the whole situation becomes too much for him and it brings on flashbacks, one after another, in rapid succession.  It’s fortunate that a loyal, resourceful, amazingly intelligent friend is there to give aid.  She then tries to talk sense into Katniss, which, as usual, is a waste of time.  But she tries anyway, hopeful that one day, something might get through to that brainless head of hers.” “That last part was completely unnecessary,” I say.  There’s no gain in rising to Johanna’s barbs, any more than there is to Max’s teasing. They really are alike.  Maybe that’s why they fight.   As for her theory, it does have some plausibility, but it’s still mostly wild speculation. “Is there something you know that I don’t?” I ask.  “Or did you make that up?” Johanna shrugs.  “I made it up.  But you have to admit it makes sense.” I roll my eyes at her.  “For you, maybe.” We sit in silence for a few moments until Johanna slaps her thighs and gets to her feet.   “I should get going now, just in case.  I don’t want him waking up to an empty house.  Oh, and Katniss, if you’re going to fuck Marcus, you should do something about birth control.  Sex has consequences, you know.” “Yes, I do know that.  My mother is a healer, if you recall.  I know how to take care of myself.”  What I don’t tell her is that in 13, all female military recruits were given five-year contraceptive implants before they were sent into action.  Johanna wouldn’t know this because she failed the final test having succumbed to her phobia of water, a consequence of her torture in the Capitol. Something I’m sure Johanna wouldn’t like to be reminded of.   Before she leaves, she says, “I’ll keep you posted, and I think you should visit once things settle down a bit.  He needs to know he’s not alone.” I nod because it’s easier than arguing.   I’m pretty sure that Peeta won’t want to see me.  It might even bring on another flashback.   I watch Johanna walk over to Peeta’s house and close the door behind her.  And then I open the door of my own house to where Marcus is waiting.  He’s set out a platter of cheeses, pickles, carrot sticks, crackers and fruit.  And some kind of spread that he made from a can of chickpeas he found in the pantry. There’s also a plate of Peeta’s cookies and a pot of tea.   “Peeta again?” asks Marcus.  He pours out two mugs of tea and sets one in front of me. “How did you guess?”  I hope we weren’t speaking so loudly that it could heard from inside the house.  The dining table is not far from a window. My face reddens at the thought, especially since there was talk about Marcus and fucking.   “Because whenever you and Johanna have one of your private talks out there on the porch, it’s about him.  I hope everything’s alright.” He makes a plate of food for himself while he’s speaking, his expression unreadable.  I get the impression that he’s well and truly over Peeta Mellark.   I come straight out with it.  Word is going to get out anyway.   “Peeta and Lace have split up. The wedding’s off. Peeta is . . .” I pause here.  I don’t want to give too much of Peeta’s mental state away.  People, Marcus included, already think he’s unstable.  “Peeta’s very upset about it,” I end up saying. His hands still for a moment, poised as he cuts a slice of cheese to add to his plate.   “That’s . . . unfortunate.  I suppose it had something to do with the incident at the pub last week?” “I’m not sure.  Probably.”  I don’t really know, but Johanna said something about both of them lying, so I think it’s safe to assume.  “Johanna wasn’t very clear about it.” I take a cracker from the platter and nibble on it.  My appetite seems to have dried up for some inexplicable reason.   Something is wrong, and I don’t know what it is.  The air almost crackles with it.   “How do you feel about it?” he asks, eyes intent on mine. I don’t answer immediately, unsure of the motive behind his question.  Is he asking my opinion on the break-up – whether I think it was good thing, or a bad thing?  Or is he asking how it’s affected me emotionally?  I decide the first option is the safer of the two.

“It’s sad.  They seemed very compatible.  But I guess if you don’t have trust in a marriage, then it’s unlikely to work in the long run, so perhaps it’s for the best.”  I shrug my shoulders slightly to simulate indifference and sip my tea. “It’s hard for me to comment exactly, without knowing the details,” I add. “The devil’s in the details,” he says, almost distractedly. “But you’re right about trust.  No relationship can be successful without it.”   And then he returns to his food, and nothing more is said about it.  But something’s not quite right.  The only thing I can attribute it to is the news of Peeta and Lace’s cancelled wedding. Perhaps he thinks our relationship is at risk now, when nothing could be further from the truth.  There’s no chance that Peeta and I will get back together. Lace out of the picture won’t change that.   Later that night, after a quick shower, I pull from my closet a filmy negligee the colour of apricots.  It was part of the wardrobe Cinna designed for my wedding to Peeta.   I never got the chance to wear it, nor the matching nightgown, so light that it’s almost transparent.  I trail the gauzy fabric through my fingers, noting how fragile it is.  It would be so easy to rip from neckline to hem, that it makes me wonder if that’s its intended purpose.  My mind can’t help but imagine how Peeta would have reacted to seeing me in it.  Or how he would react if I showed up at his house right now, with only this sheer, flimsy garment to cover my naked body.  Probably it would send him into a flashback that he’d never come back from. I take a critical look at myself in the full-length mirror.  The soft orange complements my olive skin and my hair, freed from its braid, ripples down my back in silky waves.  My body is slender and small breasted, but still feminine, the waist curved and the hips rounded.  My nipples stand out in hard peaks against the gossamer thin fabric and the dark triangle of my pubic hair is clearly visible.  I turn my back to peer over my shoulder.  My best asset, my “derriere”, as Effie would call it, is high and round.  The burn scars, most prevalent on my back, are barely noticeable now, thanks to the skin treatments, except for a few spots where the skin looks slightly melted.   Not too bad, Everdeen.  Not too bad at all.   My feet are silent on the carpeted floor to the guest room.  I rap lightly on the door and he tells me to come in.    He’s toweling himself dry but he stops the instant he lays eyes on me.  And when the towel drops to the floor, forgotten, I see that I’ve achieved the exact response I was hoping for. The love-making this night is wild and uninhibited.  It dawns on me that Marcus had been holding back, perhaps in deference to my virgin status, but now that’s abandoned.  My theory about the nightgown proves correct.  Marcus rips it right down the middle and then slips it off my shoulders in one movement, taking the robe with it.    I didn’t know that humans could make love like animals, with the male thrusting from behind. I’d always assumed it was face to face like the illustration in the tattered text book we were provided with in the meagre sex education classes at school.  But I love it, so animalistic and exciting, the way he pounds into me, his hands holding my hips firmly in place.  The way I can’t help but arch my back to welcome him in with every thrust.   But after our passion is spent, my thoughts return again to Peeta.  How he’s feeling, how helpless I am to help.    I try hard to recreate the magic of the concrete house by the lake, where I could lie in Marcus’s arms, warm and snug and drift into a dreamless sleep.  Because I know instinctively, that the nightmares will return tonight, as bad as ever.  If only Peeta had never come back to 12.  He would have got the treatment he still desperately needed if he had stayed in the Capitol.  He wouldn’t have met Lace, and she him.  And as for me, I was resigned to the fact that I had lost him and I know now that I would have recovered from my depression eventually.   His return simply sparked a false hope that I’ve been battling ever since. So here I lie, in the arms of a man who is as close to perfect as you can get, and my head is full of Peeta Mellark.

[capticlsboy-archive]

{francisco lachowski, cis male, the hunger games} look who is spotted around ha'ina it’s finnick odair. a twenty four year old human. they spend their time around ha'ina as a fashion model. the last thing they remember is nothing of their old life. and people describe them as charming, playful, & secretive. (mipsy; 21+;cst; she/her)

tw: prostitution

basics:

name: finnick odair

nickname: finn

age: 24

sexual orientation: pansexual

hometown: district 4 / hai’na, hawaii

occupation: fashion model

relationship status: taken ; girlfriend

canon up to: book two, catching fire, when he introduced himself to katniss everdeen before the opening ceremonies of the seventy-fifth hunger games / but he remembers nothing of his old life

hobbies: swimming, surfing, partying

old life:

finnick odair lived in a dystopian society, set in an unknown year. where north america lies in ruins, the nation of panem was born. finnick was born in district 4, one of the wealthier districts, known for it’s industry of fishing. he was the odairs’ firstborn son, and had one younger brother. finnick lived a wealthy life in four, compared to the other districts. his family didn’t starve or live in poverty, but four still faced severe oppression from the governing body, the capitol. district four was one of the career districts: a district that trained children to compete in the hunger games. illegal, but it gave them an advantage in the arena. as a child, finnick was trained in four’s academy in fighting and weaponry, but finnick was forced to be there. finnick didn’t want to kill other children, he wanted to live his life in four. during the reaping of the 65th hunger games, his name was called. he was reaped. he did not volunteer. at fourteen years old, he would go on to be the youngest tribute to ever win the hunger games. after his victory tour across the twelve districts, finnick was forced into prostitution by president snow. to sell his body or be threatened with death to his family. finnick had always been a beautiful boy, it was how he won his games. sponsors loved his good looks, and gifted him a trident to win his games. at first, finnick refused. and when he went home that same day, his entire family was gone. the only thing left was a white rose sitting in front of the door. he knew it was snow. and he knew, he could no longer refuse. for nine years, he’d mentored district four’s tributes. he’d become a shell of himself: materialistic, vain, and charming. the capitol always sent a train for him, and his company was always paid in secrets, not money. he stopped opening up to people, until annie cresta. he mentored her and eventually fell in love with the soft spoken girl. he loved her with his entire being, which is why he was relieved when his mentor, mags, volunteered in her place for the 75th hunger games. finnick heard about the girl on fire, katniss everdeen, and watched the entirety of her games. he introduced himself to katniss before the opening ceremonies, and as he ended, he woke up here...

new life:

finnick was born in ha’ina, hawaii, and was raised here since he was a child. he has two younger siblings: his younger sister and his younger brother. he’s always been the big brother, and he always tries to be responsible and protective of his siblings. when finnick finished high school, he didn’t have any plans about a future. he enjoyed just swimming in the blue water, surfing the waves, partying and hanging out with friends. all things he still likes to do. but one day, finnick was scouted while walking with friends in the market place, and he’s been working as a model ever since. finnick always knew he was attractive, he just didn’t know he could get paid for it. he’s traveled the world, been on runways, magazine covers, done interviews, he’s ha’ina’s own island celebrity! one of them. his girlfriend/long time best friend also shares that title beside him. he’s come back to ha’ina to see his family and help showcase the latest fashion trends on the island. for a price, of coarse. finnick lives a very wealthy lifestyle with his girlfriend. they both currently live together on the island.

wanted connections: ( hunger games )

cashmere / oc ( girlfriend )      mags      johanna      annie      haymitch      peeta      gale      enobaria       any hunger games muses !!!

[everlarkchristmasgifts]

Thanks to all the mods putting this Holiday prompt page together! Thank you for all your hard work and contributions to the Tumblr everlark family now and in the past.

A/N: This is part one of a hasty, four-day attempt to multi-part a drabble set for @everlarkchristmasgifts ‘s prompts. It may not get done on time, but they say it’s good to believe in miracles at Christmas, lol.

This part rated G

Thanks to @alliswell21 for giving it a beta read on quick notice.

And… *deep inhale, because why on earth am I trying to butcher one of my favorite stand alone drabbles with a sequel???**… this follows on the events of Pasty White Raisin.

________________________________________________

“Shopping…”

It was twelve days to Christmas. They’d missed Christmas last year. It could’ve been their first Christmas, but Peeta had been too stubborn to let a woman “waste her life” on a washed-up baker twelve years older than her.

She’d won, by the end of the Winter thaw. He’d already been in love, but he’d finally let himself love, and everything that had seemed to mean to him.

Well, everything within the parameters of being a gentleman.

He’d insisted on her making him work for her good favor, and at first it had been a funny game, his insistence that he court her, a delicious, slow romance of soft kisses and interwoven fingers and getting to know each other over conversations, dinners, or during walks. But the game had given him time to reconsider what he might be getting in to.

Which was robbing her of a future she deserved.

So ultimately, he’d come to use the game as a way to buy time to fortify the barriers so strongly she’d be forced to admit she should cut her losses.

And when she’d still refused, he’d cut her losses for her, before the summer heat had waned, with an “I’m sorry, Katniss, this isn’t working for me,” followed instantly by firing her from doing the bakery’s books, which she’d been doing part-time for the low cost wage of a half-dozen cheese buns a week, and refusing to respond to her texts or voicemails.

At Thanksgiving, she’d shown up at his door, asking if they could spend the evening together, talk. Consider reconsidering.

He’d shaken his head and closed the door on her, but not before his face had presented a few moments of unmasked regret and longing.

She’d almost gone to a hardware store for an ax to chop his door off its hinges.

When she’d called her uncle Haymitch in tears from her car, still sitting in the bakery’s parking lot, he’d agreed chopping down Peeta’s door was an acceptable strategy, except there wouldn’t be a hardware store open on Thanksgiving Day.

So this Christmas season— the Christmas that could have been their second Christmas, or at least their first— just a year after she’d chosen him, the rejection had left its mark on her. She couldn’t face flying out west to spend Christmas with her sister and mother. Would not be able to muster the emotional energy necessary to pretend she was okay for a whole evening spent with her friends, despite their invites.  

No, she and Haymitch were going to spend it getting drunk on vodka, eating crock-pot roast and microwaved mashed potatoes, and watching either a marathon of The Profit, or Rocky, depending on which one of them won the coin toss.

So with twelve days to Christmas, Katniss Everdeen decided it was time to say goodbye once and for all.

Well, twelve times, for all.

Twelve ways to say she loved him.

Twelve ways to say goodbye.

Twelve ways to say both at the same time.

Twelve days, twelve gifts.

And it was going to start with a Thursday, lunch hour shopping trip.

“Kat, where you going?”

Odair was the afternoon manager for the restaurant side of the brewery operation where she was a bookeeper. He’d stepped so quickly in her way she almost couldn’t stop before walking into him.  

His hands here clasped behind his back and he was grinning. His up-to-something look.

“Lunch,” she said, guarded.

“Right. It’s treason to buy lunch from somewhere other than here. And anyway, you eat lunch from a brown bag. Every day. You’re so frugal, you probably even reuse the same bag until it’s toast. No, Katniss Everdeen looks like a woman on a mission.”

She narrowed her eyes.

“Then it would make sense to get out of my way.”

He studied her as though he could read her secrets if he looked hard enough.

“You off to see that baker guy of yours? Because I would love one of his everything bagels, and Annie likes the peanut butter chip cookies.”

Katniss swallowed and fought off a wave of pain.

“No, I’m going to the mall to do some Christmas shopping.”

“Oh, perfect then,” like magic, his hand was suddenly in front of her face, waving a hundred dollar bill, as though he already knew where she was heading and was just enjoying teasing her about the other, “I need something pretty for Annie. I was thinking a necklace.”

Katniss felt an urge to punch him, but started to step around him instead. He stepped in her way again, grin back on his face.

“Come on, help a guy out. The last time I picked out jewelry for her, it was a total flop, and you remember it.”

“Finnick, the only reason it flopped, was because you thought it’d be funny to give her a used pendant with someone else’s initials on it.”

“I wasn’t trying to be funny. That thing was an antique. And it was beautiful, and I knew the emeralds would set off her eyes. And anyway, the first initial matched.”

Katniss just shook her head; his problems were his, thankfully.

“Have to go, bye.”

He snagged her hand, yanking her momentum to a stop and then slapping the bill into her palm.

“Just in case something jumps out at you.”

“You realize how terrible it is to ask another woman to shop for your girlfriend.”

Finnick shrugged. “You’re not another woman, you’re basically family. And anyway, I already have her other gifts bought. I just want a wildcard.”

Katniss scowled.

“Fine, but I’m taking two hours for lunch, without losing the extra hour of pay, and you have to cover in case someone needs a bank run.”

Odair winked, then walked off with a, “Thanks, Katniss. You’re the second-best.”

Katniss shoved the bill into her jean’s pocket, so it could help her debit card burn a hole into the denim.

___

She knew what the first gift for Peeta would be, so she parked near the entrance closest to the woolen shop. Unfortunately, that entrance was the least used, and its parking more like the back forty. With Winter being stubborn about providing snow for Christmas, and the mall neglecting to plow that section, by the time she was inside, her feet were wet and freezing from slogging through patches of standing slush.  There was a small hunting shop just inside the entrance, one of her favorite stores, and the moment she saw a pair of boots she’d been drooling over for six months on sale for forty percent off, she decided that if she was going to loosen up on the financial reigns enough that week to buy herself a sense of closure about Peeta, she might as well give herself that one treat.

Fifteen minutes later, she was stalking to the sweater shop in knee-high, front lace brown leather boots with reinforced heels and toes, all weather tread, and Gortex lined.  And to make it better, her toes were swaddled in thick, high-tech, sweat-wicking winter socks.

She was even smiling by the time she got to her intended destination.

But then as soon as she was inside, her heart sank.

Peeta’s first present was a sweater she’d been eying for him for almost a month, folded on a center display table just inside the entrance. Imported from Ireland, it was a heavy, rough-finish wool sweater, that had a faded quality to its blue.  The first time she’d seen it, she’d wanted him in it. Wanted to see how it contrasted with his light hair, complimented his blue eyes, hugged his shoulders, and layered over the waist of his jeans. Back then, she had still be holding hope he’d snap out of it, that maybe Christmas morning they’d be opening presents together and she’d get to see him in it, run her hands along down his arms to sense the feel of it, rest her palms against the scratchy texture of the wool, but feel the warmth and firmness of his shoulders and chest beneath.

But now, she wouldn’t get that pleasure. He would have the sweater. Hopefully, he would wear it. But regardless, she’d never get to see it.

If things went according to plan, someone else would.

She looked through the stack, finding his size and then laying it out, unfolded, over the rest. Her fingers stroked along the back and inside of the collar, where a beautiful, muted orange line of silky fabric had been sewn in to help prevent the roughness of the wool from rubbing against the sensitive flesh of his neck. It was even almost Peeta’s favorite shade of orange.   

A  friendly young clerk came up, asking if she could be of help. Her bubbling mood was a knife-stab to Katniss’ heart, so Katniss told her she had other shopping to do and was in a hurry. The girl agreed to wrap it and have it waiting for Katniss to pay for and pick up on her way back out of the mall.

The next stop was Eddie Bauer, where she had a clerk box a wheat-colored Henley on a bed of black tissue, hand it over long enough for Katniss to finger press a dog ear into the collar where the top button would normally be, and then finish with the full-on Christmas wrapping treatment.  Her first hour was almost up.

Neiman Marcus covered two more gifts, six depending on how one counted, and fortune favored her in a special find that saved her a side trip to Hot Topic.  Plus, the clerks there were fast wrappers. She had thirty minutes left for this trip, and, for this trip, only two more items to go.

The most expensive.

A boutique, ultra-high end men’s store cost her savings account exactly eight hundred, forty-seven dollars and sixteen cents. The gift wrapping took absolutely forever. But everything about the work, from the paper, to the simple ribbon, to the ridiculously expensive, and large, carry out bag, was immaculate. It almost made her cry.

It did make her cry, actually. Because signing her name to a payment slip that size made it crystal clear just what she had committed herself to do, and that she would not be the one to see the end result.

But she made a quick stop at Zales, saw what she instantly knew was the right call. It was just shy of two hundred and fifty after tax, but today was her day to spend on others, and Annie and Finnick were good friends, so she pocketed the hundred for her piggy bank, and paid for it out of her checking.

_____

“You’re late. Nice boots.”

“What?”

Finnick rooted around in the Zales bag she handed him for the necklace box.

“You’re late. You said two hours. It’s been a hundred and twenty-seven minutes. Did you stop at the bakery and bring us the bagels?”

“I didn’t have time.” Thankfully.

“Then I’m docking you the seven minutes,” he said without missing a beat, and when he finally got the red velvet box open, his teasing fell away into a look of confusion, and then a threat of real emotion. “Katniss, how did you…”  He shook his head and the red headed prankster looked like he might actually hug her.

“Call it fate,” she said, and then started walking back to her office.  “And if you dock me those seven minutes, our next limited run is going to be called Odair Pale, ‘cause that’ll be the vat you’d drown in.”

_____

Katniss was out the brewery doors at 5:00pm sharp.  She managed to stop by the barber shop and the youth initiative before they closed by six, and that left only one purchase to go.

First, a stop at the bank.

Then, her final stop at the pawn shop.

The old man who owned the shop had held the item for her, and all that remained was for her to bring in the cash for it.

He was sitting at the counter like he was waiting for her— a sale like that, she was probably the one single person he was waiting for that day— and produced the item immediately, including the silky box that went with it, dull and stained by time. She carefully counted out the money, and he carefully wrote her out a receipt in his shaky handwriting.

Pawn shops didn’t gift wrap, but since it was raining, he found a used plastic bag from the back and gave her that to carry it away in.

It felt heavy, the plastic in her fingers as she walked back to her car.

Heavy like an ending.

Heavy like time moving on without her.

_____

By seven, the drizzle was threatening to turn to sleet with the evening’s cooling temperature.  Katniss shivered a little, trying to shrink further into her jacket, and was even more glad for her new boots, because the slush in the alley behind the bakery was even worse than it had been at the mall. The windows above her, on the bakery’s second floor were lit; Peeta was at home, no surprise.  He’d be watching television, maybe. Or even finishing dinner. Within an hour, he’d start thinking about bed.

For the six or seven months he’d let her into his life, she’d learned his habits fast.  They’d never shared a bed and never spent a night together, because he wouldn’t allow it— because he was going to ‘do things right’— but they’d spent plenty of time together.  By the Summer, they’d been seeing each other every day. And she’d found so much joy in the not rushing it. It had given them time to fully appreciate the excitement of almost innocent kisses and the silly, mutual attempts to find opportunities for them to be less than strictly innocent, the almost stolen thrill of sitting just close enough knees might touch, or arms might press.  The silences and times where they were just around each other, without having to feel pressure that being out on a date, or on a walk, or going to the bookstore together was somehow really only posturing for a race they were supposed to complete by end of the day.

She knew his hours.

Knew not to text him after seven thirty.

Knew he didn’t actually like texting at all, and preferred a phone call, if a personal visit wasn’t possible.

Knew which corner of his couch he liked to lean into when watching television.  Knew where his mugs were, and his glasses. Knew which drawer had the silverware, which hall closet had the extra hand towels for the bathroom. Knew he recycled cans, but often forgot to recycle plastic. Knew which episodes of Big Bang Theory were his favorites.

Each step up the steel-grate steps up to Peeta’s second-floor entry, brought another ‘knew’ to her mind, digging the knife a little deeper.

But she kept going, careful to duck a little near the top in case he happened to be at the kitchen sink window, and then leaning the box with the wool sweater against his door, with a note taped to it.

—Don’t open until six on Christmas Eve—

Just as carefully, she crept back down and then took up a position in the blackness behind the dumpster. A pocketful of little garden stones served as her ammunition, and she chucked three at his door with perfect aim.  

From the shadows, she watched Peeta’s face appear at the window, and then a moment later, light came flooding out from his doorway.  He saw the present right away, but looked around first to see who was there.

He called her name out and for a second she thought maybe he was able to see her after all, but after a few seconds of him leaning out over the rail and looking both ways down the alley, it was clear he didn’t.  He came back to the present, gave it a look over, and then went back inside.

She didn’t know whether to feel honored or sad that after a gift appeared for him, the only person he thought to call out in question to was her.