#gale is pick me as fuck

[tay-tay-everlark13]

My friend once said "Katniss is a pick me" . Like, I know she said that just to make me angry or something, she didn't even read a books and watched only once the whole series (I forced her), so I know why she said that, but I have to defend her from these accusations (although she could do it as good or better by herself).

So, she is NOT a pick me. Okay? She is not. A pick me is someone who wants to have a full attention 24/7 (which Katniss is COMPLETELY opposite), and would do anything to got this (Katniss did anything to not having any attention). And, the most important, she is going to do everything to end up with her crush (Katniss did everything to save Peeta and keep him alive, and yeah, she wanted to be with him, but she didn't do it for attention, GOD. She even didn't want to be with ANYONE in some moments, because she didn't have time for lovers). I HATE when people calls her a pick me. Maybe it's just my friend, but still.

And if someone is pick me in the hunger games, it's Gale.

[vorestarr]

so i noticed when playing the epilogue that illithid Tav wants to eat brains, but the specific part of the brain they want to eat depends on the character, so i looked through the parsed dialogue and compiled all of them!

which part of each brain a mindflayer Tav would savor:

Astarion: "Astarion's sweet brain may be less wrinkled than the rest, but you hunger for its teasing cells. His parietal lobe - which controls his sense of touch - will be an aphrodisiac in your maw."

Gale*: "You would save his temporal lobe for last, if you were to eat Gale. Language. Learning. Memory. He must have quite the fine example."

Halsin: "Every time Halsin speaks of balance, your thoughts cannot behave. You only dream of what his cerebellum tastes like, when it sends the signals to his vestibular system to keep him from wobbling."

Jaheira: "Weary Jaheira. Over time, her stresses may have shrunk her hippocampus, making its taste more intense."

Karlach: "You consider Karlach's brain stem - the stalk meant to regulate her body's temperature. Will it come pre-cooked?"

Lae'zel*: "Lae'zel's motor cortex - that which controls her fine movements - will be harshly disciplined. That will make her especially chewy - just how you like a cortex to be."

Minsc: "There are cruel rumours spread, that Minsc may once have suffered injury to his brain. You could set the slander right at last - tell the world every bite was perfect."

Minthara: "With all Minthara's hate, you wonder if her cerebro-spinal fluid will be bitter to sip?"

Shadowheart: "Think of Shadowheart's cerebellum, which controls her dextrous hands. Any ritual caster must have a tightly commanded hindbrain."

Wyll: "Wyll's frontal lobe, which processes his judgement and measured words, would be a delicacy befitting his nobility." (Or "fit for a Grand Duke" if that was his outcome.)

(*You can't eat god-Gale's or astral-projection-Lae'zel's brains.)

[strawberrymothteeth]

I caved and bought bg3. I kept seeing that yassified preminger everywhere. He haunts and then I got interested in a few chars but tbh the main selling point is you can talk to cats.

[hamartia-grander]

Gale: you're not an animal lover?

Me who had to pick that dialogue option because the only other two options were to flirt with him for some fucking reason:

[thorne1435]

The entire Baldur's Gate 3 cast flirts with each other constantly and then the game expects me to pick one of them, and ask that person if it's okay if I flirt with the others.

Bro, I didn't start this polycule, I just eagerly accepted. Don't get mad at me because I'm also DTF.

[queenerdloser]

reading baldur's gate fic is so funny to me sometimes because almost every single tav i've read is like. a nerd. awkward. stuck in a library/commune/forest and doesn't know How To Do People. combat unready. a wee paper slip of a person. self-doubting and uncertain.

whereas i am out here with my bard who dumped all her stats in charisma and perception and therefore is no longer able to fail a persuasion check. and my personal backstory for her is that she's an insanely well known frontman for a rock band in baldur's gate so literally everyone they meet knows who she is. nonstop flirt. clocks manipulation left and right because seeing through performances is like half of her skillset. oh yeah. and she can fucking oneshot you by being mean in your direction.

[emdotcom]

Need to know several jobs have had me fill out questionnaires that are trying to bait me into confessing I have symptoms of depression. Almost as if. They know they can't ask "Do you have depression?" outright. & Are trying to circumvent that in order to weed out the sad folk so they can stay jobless & in the ditch, where they belong.

[daily-sloop-john-b]

I want to see Harry Dresden as Tav. Give that wizard a gun. Have him be the token straight amongst the bisexual disasters. Let him make references none of the other tadfools understand.

He's gonna be real dubious about all the hot goddesses trying to fuck them over. Let him grab a beer with Gale and be like, 'depression year after your wizard hubris caused your girlfriend to break up with you, and you've spent a year alienating yourself from everyone but your cat? yeah, I've been there, buddy.'

[ettadunham]

shadowheart has such main character energy, you can't take her out of your party for a minute without some sidequest popping up involving her, she's just that powerful

[jacqcrisis]

Ronan, Gale, and Karlach are outside of the goblin encampment, far enough away to keep out of sight but close enough to keep an eye on it. The priestess and the drow are dead. Halsin has been freed and has returned to the grove on the promise the hobgoblin would be gone before he even touched its pillars and yet-

There's a buzzing coming from the goblin camp. The war drums have been sounded. The guards pulled in as shouting and fighting seems to be emanating from within.

Ronan is clearly agitated; not in his stature, standing straight and still as he watches the road, but in his tail flicking in odd bursts. In his tight grip on his war hammer still in hand. In the thin trail of black smoke trailing to the sky from his nostrils.

A few tense minutes pass. The swarm at the goblin camp rages. The smog emanating from Ronan's snout grows thicker. Gale gets smacked on his arm by Karlach for not so lightly suggesting Ronan use one of his calming prayers before he starts storming back into the camp.

Without so much as a noise, Astarion appears, breaking the spell from the invisibility potion by stating that it's seems rather rude that whoever they're waiting for is keeping them so long. Ronan turns to him, tells him he's late as he eyes the whole of him, searching for any obvious injuries. Astarion coolly snaps back that he made the decision to give them a few extra minutes 'considering how long it takes you to get anywhere' and isn't he so generous, blood oozing from a cut in his calf that wasn't there when they parted ways almost half an hour ago.

It does soften Ronan's expression and before Astarion can object, he's getting pulled into a hug, one that quite literally sweeps him off his feet. The dragonborn is never short on physicality, irritatingly so even outside of their...thing, and yet this is new enough and clearly in front of other people that Astarion isn't sure what to do or even say. There's the immediate want to struggle and demand he be put down, but after the narrow escape and as Ronan squeezes him with some muttered praise, it is... nice.

He is very warm.

Ronan sets Astarion down after some awkward patting, clearly happy at a job done successfully as they make their way to the grove. It takes Astarion almost a mile to notice the cut in his leg has been healed, unable to pinpoint exactly when that happened.

[bananastarion]

I used to be a Certified Gale Hater since the moment I first met him in my game, literally everything he said rubbed me the wrong way. I just found him really pompous and cocky, while simultaneously being kind of desperate and pathetic and not in an endearing way, more like in the way I've seen in IRL men who I steer clear to avoid. He just gave me 'homeschooled Nice Guy with unwarranted self importance' vibes. And also 'forever alone r/iamverysmart redditor' vibes. Idk, he just gave me the ick but I kept him in my first playthrough just to see if he got any more tolerable... and I just ended up hating him even more (the whole wanting to be a God despite knowing what happened to Karsus thing gave me major, MAJOR ick). It got to the point where every time he had dialogue, I'd be yelling at the screen telling him to stfu. The final straw was the shitty comment he made as Astarion was burning alive at the end of the game. I wanted to punch him through the screen.

I realize Astarion is also a heap of red flags, but this is just how my brain works. Astarion can somehow do no wrong, and Gale is a douchebag. Idk, that's just my emotional gut reaction lmao. Honestly, it's probably because Gale is more like a Normal Real Man and Astarion is a beautiful fantasy, worlds apart from any actual man I've had the misfortune of knowing.

In my second playthough, I kicked Gale out of the party toward the end of act 1 and sent him off to go kill himself in the Underdark. I felt slightly bad and kinda missed him.

Fast forward to now, I am inexplicably crushing on Gale and want to start a new game where I romance him. Idk what happened, I just did a total 180 for no good reason. I think after having horny fantasies about Astarion 24/7 for months my brain is just in need of a brief intermission. All the sudden I'm noticing that Gale might actually not be a horrible person and in truth we have a ton in common? And also he's cute tho?? And he looks really warm and cuddly like if you crawled into bed with him you'd just never want to leave. I just want to invite him over and introduce him to my parents and my cats. I'm not particularly into bloodweave, but I might have to play as Astarion just so I can resist the temptation of romancing Astarion instead (all of my attempts to resist romancing Astarion so far have completely failed). Idk tho, I'd rather romance him as an OC tav but i just know that will end in me romancing Astarion instead. Damn it all, can't I have them both?

[theygender]

Apparently the scene you get with Shadowheart if you get her approval all the way up and then tell her you want to get to spend time with her is the same one you're supposed to get at the tiefling party, which means if you trigger it early you may not get any scene with her at the party at all. This made things pretty confusing when I showed up expecting to advance my romance with her and instead she just gave me some generic "lol wine is good huh" dialogue meanwhile every other companion* BUT her was actively trying to jump my bones... Literally just had to beat everyone else off of my Tav with a stick and then go to bed alone 😔

*Except Lae'zel, who instead went on an unprompted rant about how she knew I wanted to fuck her sooo bad but I had Pissed Her Off by making her be Nice to People so now she would NEVER allow me the pleasure of having crazy hot githyanki sex with her. (She propositioned me a few days later anyways)

[kalashtars]

brooo i just watched someone play the beginning of bg3 and. what the fuck. where the fuck did i miss Gale

[henchmaxxing]

Frantically googling baldurs gate romance guides so I know what to do to keep the companions from falling desperately in love with my 8 intelligence barbarian

[forcedhesitation]

tonight. I complete the balding gay boyfriend collection. I will right the wrong to which I was made to bear witness to. I've three of four men romanced already. all that remains is kissing that sad little wizard...and moonrise towers is just on the horizon.

[sunnidear]

fucking shit up horribly ing bg3