Submitted by @dtgvxg
Coolio.
Context:Rex is part of a project involving university age students. Transferred from Corvus Academy, he's in as the Ultimate Security Contractor alongside his friends. And he's also 90% robotics and a living weapon. Also, he and tsumugi are technically from an alternate timeline and older than they look, but that is a whole new can of worms.
Makoto: Rex...
Rex: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.
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Miu, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.
Rex: I will short out the language center of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.
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Rex: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.
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Rex: I have the sharpest memory here -name one time I forgot something.
Junko: You left me, Mukuro, and Moogs in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago.
Rex: I did that on purpose, try again.
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Tsumugi: Why aren’t you sleeping?
Rex: I’m too busy plotting your murder to sleep, Tsumugi.
Tsumugi: *not buying it*
Rex: ...The nightmares.
Tsumugi: *wrapping their arms around Rex* Awwww, sweetie-
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[After breaking into a research facility taking the successful product of the New Dawn Project]
Hajime, pacing his living room:so…she's like us?
Rex, currently raiding Hajime's kitchen: if by 'like us', you mean a result of heavy human experimentation and are currently filled with forty metric tons of circuitry, machinery, and synthetics, then yes.
Hajime: Okay, cool. So, you basically want me to-
Rex, in the middle of making a club sandwich:-keep an eye on her until there's a secure enough place to put her. You know, babysitting. You've probably done that.
Hajime:a few times, but whatever. However, mind if I tell you what confuses me?
Rex, eating his sandwich: Shoot.
Hajime: why me?
Rex, shrugging: Immediate first thought, I guess.
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Rex, to Ruraka: If I bite into this chicken sandwich and it's sweet, I'm skinning you.
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Johnny: Yo, Kaz, do that R2D2 impression.
Kazuichi, taking a breath:wooooooOOOOOO-
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Junko, acting embarrassed: Wow, you’re such a perverted psycho. Why the fuck would you ask me if I like breasts?
Rex, tired as fuck: [whispers angrily] How many times do I have to tell you we’re at KFC, dumbass?! Why are you like this every time we’re here?
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Rex:*hanging out on the roof*
Kazuichi bursting in: Why didn't you tell me your dad had all that ass?
Rex:*silently looks at him*
Kazuichi: Now hear me out…
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Shuichi: How would you like your pancakes?
Komaru: Plain.
Kaede: With sprinkles!
Hajime: Chocolate chips.
Rex: Potatoes.
*Komaru, Kaede, and Hajime look at Rex*
Rex: What? They're good.
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Rex: Life could be worse, Kaede.
Kaede: Life could be a lot better too!
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Makoto: We need a way to lure in new customers.
Junko: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!
Johnny: Kaede bath water.
Kaede: ABSOLUTELY NOT!
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Hajime: I think you're still suffering from the effects of your party last night.
Johnny: All I drank was Redbull!
Hajime: How many?
Johnny: Eighteen.
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Rex: Who the fuck broke the toaster?
Makoto: It was Kaede.
Komaru: It was Kaede.
Hajime: Kaede broke it.
Kaede:
Kaede: ...yOU PROMISED-
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Miu: I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.
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Rex: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.
Shuichi:
Rex:
Shuichi: ...Please, go back to bed.
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Miu, watching Maki and Peko fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?
Rex, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other.
Miu: Then... who’s the strongest out of you three?
Peko: Rex.
Maki: Rex.
Rex, the literal living war machine: Me.
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Mukuro: I will find us an armored vehicle and some weapons.
Mukuro: If you two can manage to not kill each other while I'm gone.
Rex: Oh, please. We're not children.
*Mukuro leaves*
Rex, casually: ...Eat shit and die.
Tsumugi, also casually: Yes, fuck you.
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Tsumugi, drinking tea: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this.
Rex, dressed in PJs: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!
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Hajime: I can't imagine what Rex is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.
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Tsumugi: Wow, Rex, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.
Rex: We literally slept together yesterday.
Tsumugi: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.
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Rex: Go fuck yourself.
Tsumugi, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch.
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Rex: I fell-
Tsumugi: From heaven?
Rex: No, I literally fell-
Tsumug, doing this on purpose: In love with me the moment you saw me?
Rex: MY ARM IS BROKEN!
Tsumugi: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.
Rex:…fuck you.
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Makoto, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Rex: Wassup?
Kaede: Hi!
Shuichi: Hello.
Hajime: Hey.
Makoto: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Komaru: We were out of Doritos.
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Makoto: I think Komaru is in trouble.
Rex: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.
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Rex: I know you love them.
Shuichi: I am not in love with Kaede!
Rex, staring at Shuichi, amused: I never said who...
Shuichi: *realizes*
Shuichi: Shit. Well, anyways-
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Kaede: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.
Byakuya: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.
Rex: Fuck you.
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*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*
Kaede: Thanks fam!
Komaru: Oh, really? Cool!
Makoto: *smiles* I love you too.
Hajime: Sounds fake, but okay.
Shuichi: *A flustered mess*
Rex: Big mistake.
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Makoto: The floor is lava!
Kaede: *helps Shuichi onto the counter*
Komaru: *kicks Hajime off the sofa*
Rex: *falls face first onto the floor*
Makoto: ...Are you okay?
Rex, muffled: No.
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Miu: *Kicks Rex's bedroom door down looking panicked*
Rex, tired: The fuck's going on?
Miu: Nobody died!
Rex, now wide awake: What did you do?!
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Leon, to Miu: I cannot relate to your ‘E-Girl’ problems.
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Shuichi, about Maki: She's so terrifying yet so lacking in social skills that the most basic conversation feels like a hostage negotiation situation.
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Miu: I only like three things in this world. Money, Bitches, and the Dewey Decimal System!
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Rex: How did you find me?
Micheal: Oh, I saw a huge explosion and wondered 'now, who could that be?'.
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Miu, currently running on two hours of sleep: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?
Rex, Done™: Does anyone in this goddamn school ever think before they speak?
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Rex: I don't support the violence. *reveals all implanted weapons* I AM the violence.
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Miaya: You often use humor to deflect your severe trauma.
Rex: Thanks.
Miaya: I didn't say that was a good thing.
Rex: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.
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[After blowing up a building]
Rex: This is a mistake.
Junko, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!
Rex: But not today, right?
Junko, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess.
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Kokichi: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside.
Rex:
Rex: Dude, I swear to fuck, if I step outside and all of the goddamn mugs are out on the front lawn...
Kokichi: *Sips coffee from bowl*
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Shuichi: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??
Makoto: What the hell do you do?
Shuichi: I die? What kinda question…
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[After Mahiru finds Rex covered in blood and with surrounding corpses]
Rex: Hold on, I can explain.
Mahiru: Really?! Can you now?!
Rex: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.
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Fuyuhiko with a gun to Rex's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?
Rex: Bold of you to assume either of us'll go to Heaven.
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Rex: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.
So, here are the incorrect quotes. Hope you enjoy.
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
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The white boys don't know how to deal with the sun.
cw: poly 141 x latine transmasc!reader, established relationship, mexican slang, suggestive, mention of reader's "titties" but not op specific
word count: 1593
You did warn them. And they did seem to listen. But maybe because of their jobs they’ve come to underestimate the little things every now and then.
It’s their first time visiting your hometown and you very clearly warn them as yall step out to lounge in the patio, “Aguas con el sol.”
Kyle smiles, already knowing what’s to unfold, as the others huff a chorus of it’s not that hot and a little sun can’t hurt and I’ll be alright. The heat has the white boys in less clothes than you’ve ever seen them leave the house in. The shorts are short, just enough to loosely cover the important parts. Shirts are so stained with sweat that they’ve just been tossed off, sweat left to glisten untouched, all their freckles on proud display. It’s fucking delicious, you can’t argue that. Even Kyle can’t help but drool a little, helping you wipe your own mouth with a chuckle.
“Boys, you need sunscreen,” you tell them before they get too far. They look back, the three of them pointing at themselves in surprise. Reluctantly, they each thoroughly cover their legs.
Kyle speaks up, helping you lure them back, “Will you put it on for us?”
At your nod, Johnny is jumping to your side, his smile so wide his tail would wag if he had one. You try to be gentle, wanting to make this cute, but he’s so wiggly that you end up roughly slathering him up.
“Done?”
“Are you in that much of a hurry to lay in the kiddie pool?” You already know the answer. In fact, he’s out of your hands before you can even rub the sunscreen into his skin, wide swaths of lotion bright against his skin.
Simon steps into your space before you can try to catch Johnny, looking down at you with a sweet smile, “Me next?”
You wave Kyle over to help you cover this gentle giant, making sure to cover the tattoos on his arms well. Simon melts into your arms, all but purring as he closes his eyes to focus on the feel of your hands roaming his body. Kyle’s hands come around to Simon’s front, fingers kneading his hefty tits, lingering to pinch and rub at his nipples. You kiss the back of Kyle’s hand and the big man lets out a soft grunt. Pulling the front of Simon’s body to yours, you reach down his back, hand sliding slightly into his shorts to grab at his ass. You can feel his heartbeat kick up against you. Gently, both you and Kyle pull away a little, back to taking your job seriously.
“You’ll have to reapply a little sooner than the rest.”
Eyes hazy, you know Simon is a little too far gone to fully hear you. He just nods and finds his way to one of the lounging chairs. You and Kyle share a look, knowing you’ll have to keep an eye on him.
When John steps up to you and Kyle, he already has white streaks of sunscreen on his body, “Thought you two could help me rub it in properly.”
The two of you easily slot into place. You take his back, using the slick of the lotion to help you give his wide shoulders a massage, staying there until it’s all worked into his skin. Kyle goes directly for his tits too, but a raised eyebrow from John keeps him from any teasing. Instead, Kyle uses the chance to grab at his arms, squeezing along the way, making John lift his arms and pose. You grab at his belly as you cover it in sunscreen, hands greedy for the feel of his body, your smiling mouth pressed against his back. When you try to follow the trail of hair, he stops your hand.
“Don’t start what you can’t finish.”
You and Kyle both let out a quick disappointed sigh as he saunters away to join the other two. What could have been. You find some solace in each other, helping one another with hard to reach spots and traveling hands. He helps you with your legs, smooth circles inching higher and higher up your inner thigh, loving the way his fingers dig into the soft fat. The grin on his face sharp as your breaths quicken. You shove your hands into his shorts, following the waistline of them from one hip, around his back, and to the other. He arches into your hand, trying to move his body towards it so you’ll touch him, cock straining against the fabric.
Kyle pauses for a moment, hands holding the hem of the crop top you’re wearing, “It’s just us and it’s a closed space. Do you want to?”
“I don’t think I want my titties out directly in the sun. But thank you for asking.”
“Alright, sweet boy,” he kisses your forehead, “pero dime si cambias de opinión. I can help you with your sunscreen again.”
Giggling and swatting at each other, you join the other boys, ready to spend your evening doing nothing for once.
The next morning is quiet. You meet Kyle in the kitchen, helping set up the table for the chilaquiles he went out early for. But the rest of the house is unusually silent. Standing at the bottom of the stairs, you call out for them. Slowly, they shuffle down the stairs in tiny shorts, bodies stiff and limbs barely bending.
“Did you guys slee-” there’s no point in finishing once you see them.
Simon’s pink all over. It’s not too deep of a hue, but it is absolutely all over, a stark contrast against the freckles and moles covering his body. He winces as he bends his arm to wave, the crease of his elbow tight. He doesn’t say a word as he sits at the table, worried about the sounds he’ll make if he opens his mouth. The least he can do is wait until the food is served, then maybe everyone else will be too busy to notice the sad whimpers coming from him. You and Kyle exchange worried glances, trying to remember how often Simon reapplied his sunscreen. He must have brushed aside the heat gathering on his tattoos.
“Trajimos bastante sábila, yeah?” you ask Kyle, and you know he’s worried even as he nods.
John doesn’t look so bad when he comes down. Everything seems to be fine with him, skin glowing with a golden touch that wasn’t there before. Honestly, it makes him look that much more delectable. He moves without hurting, taking the plates from your hands to help finish setting up the table. Ultimately, it’s his silence that gives him away, calling your attention from his body back up to his face. His nose is peeling, the freckles around his eyes sharply outlined in red, the apples of his cheeks rosier than you’ve ever seen them.
“Are you that happy to see us, cariño?” Kyle immediately teases him. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen you this flustered.”
John’s face goes darker as he truly blushes and you both blow him kisses. Then Johnny comes down and it knocks the wind from the room.
This has to be one of the worst consequences of his impatience. In his rush to settle and have some fun, he didn’t rub the sunscreen into his skin. At all. He has patches of golden skin, matching where you remember the white of the lotion adorning his body, and in between them, large streaks of angry red. You can clearly see the outline of your fingers where you started to apply the lotion before he ran off. The curve of his shoulders is glossy from how tight the skin is from the burn, the freckles adorning his skin darkened by the almost purple tone. The center of his chest, the middle of his back, and almost his entire stomach are practically radiating heat. He doesn’t speak, standing in front of you and Kyle in absolute misery.
“I kinda wanna smack it,” you whisper to Kyle.
He chuckles, matching your volume, “Think we can leave handprints on it?”
Johnny’s eyes widen and he drops into the chair furthest from you, clearly hearing you both. He keeps readjusting, unable to find a comfortable position in which the vinyl cover of the seat won’t pull at his skin. The room is silent save for the crinkling coming from the chilaquiles, the brown paper package adjusting to the heat of the food.
“What is the first rule of taking care of tortilla boys?” you ask them, words coated in disappointment.
“Don’t die.”
“Come home.”
“Drink water.”
Kyle is already bubbling with a laugh, “Those are good rules, but you all know better.”
They look down, mumbling under their breaths, pushing at the tableware in front of them.
“Louder,” you sound a little too much like a parent with that word.
“Don’t let the tortillas burn,” they say at once.
“And what did you do?”
“Let the tortillas burn.”
With that, you dish out the food and pull Kyle further into the kitchen with you, “Do you think they know why we call them that?”
He throws his head back and laughs, loud and from deep in his belly, and it sets off your own laughter. A minute full of cackling passes, both of you clenching at your bellies and backs, mirth so forceful you feel it in your bodies. You each wipe away tears and find the three white boys staring at you, confused.
“They’re about halfway there.”
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