#kevin day is obsessed with jeremy knox

[that-vampire-loser]

Interviewer: if you could kiss anyone in the world who would it be?

Kevin: my beautiful husband aaron

Interviewer: that doesn’t count. You do that anyway.

Kevin, not hesitating: Jeremy knox

[heartstringgs]

Nora saying Neil would have stayed at the Nest for Jean. Jean and Neil both hating Betsy on sight. Neil and Jean both being sold to a higher family like a commodity. Neil gently taking the phone from Jean's hands and saying'I've got him coach' to Wymack when Jean starts to panic. Neil asking Kevin if Jean was okay when Jeremy called. Jean wishing Neil had stayed just so someone could be with him during the harshest times of his life. Kevin being sure that Neil will be helped by Jean. Neil giving Jean time to get it together when the agents arrived. Neil protecting Jean from his abuser. Jean silently cleaning up Neil's wounds and speaking to him in french when no can hear them. Jean asking Neil to tell him that Riko is truly gone and Neil confirming without a moment of hesitation. Jean and Neil both automatically resorting to saying they're okay—I'm fine, there's nothing to talk about—whenever someone asks them. Neil originally being a backliner just like Jean. Neil telling Jean it's okay to take off the tattoo. Neil reminding Jean he's worth saving. Neil looking over his shoulder out of instinct thinking Jean would be there near him. Neil being Jean's what-if. The 3 to the other's 4. A broken promise. The misplaced forever partners.

[thegayexyagenda]

andrew coming out via twitter pt 2. i just think jeremy would LOVE this drama. i am also an andrew-uses-wild-reaction-memes truther and you can't take that away from me. // pt 1

[rabidfoxes]

i think one of my favorite things about aftg is how it so subtly shows such a deep level of affection through languages. like kevin learning french for jean even though it is a dangerous thing to do at the nest and neil and andrew learning a new language together post tkm and one of the first things jeremy asks jean being to teach him french. i want to know who you are in your mother language, i want to speak to you in a language that no one but us understands, i want to understand the language that you dream in

[exy-conspiracies]

Kevin day is a vampire. Why else would he have the word Day in his name if not to trick people?

.

[ninyard]

sometimes i wonder if people who follow me ever get confused about what timezone im in because i'm sometimes on here at 7am, in work when it's quiet. or maybe it's 2:40am like it is right now and i'm up late because i'm not in work tomorrow. it must seem like im on here 24/7 sometimes

[mis-n-the-unwise]

Riko being number 01 and Neil being number 10 is so so so so special because those numbers mirror eachother and so does the characters.

When you look in the mirror you see yourself but reveresd. Sure, with simple words the description will be the same, but if you look a bit into it something is always off. Left and right have switched places, depth is not even on the table and overall it just feels wrong.

And this is just them!! A mafia lords' unwanted boys with an obsession to Exy (and Kevin) who ended up on class I teams. But if you look close you can see their obvious differences and how Neil is Riko in reverse. They are opposites.

Neil being good at verbal fights and Riko being good at physical ones. Riko being hated by everyone versus Neil being loved. Good captain and bad captain. I can do this for hours.

I ❤️ numbers and their meaning in aftg

[noticethings]

took me a series and a book to realise that despite my best efforts I don't resonate most with badass captain Dan Wilds, sunshine Jeremy Knox or shit-stirrer Neil Josten, but actually single-minded sport-obsessed history-nerd tall-af socially-inept never-been-skiing Kevin Day. Sorry queen it took me a while to realise I was bi as well

[josyards]

AFTG Instagram HCS

Andrew

Andrew has social media, but it's a faceless 'user929485829394' kind of account (or aminyard maybe... but nobody thinks it's him) that has no followers because he just goes on there to keep up to date w stuff.

All the foxes find it eventually because someone (Nicky...) saw it open on his phone & the fans are so confused why the foxes all follow this random anon account

(Andrew deletes his account the second people start to realise who the account belongs to and makes a new one that only Neil knows about)

(Nobody questions why Neil follows a random anon account that is private because it's so... Neil of him. So nobody realises that it's Andrew this time around.)

With his only audience as Neil, Andrew posts a little. Not a lot. But it's nice, Neil thinks, when he opens Instagram to see that default icon with the ring around it.

Neil

Neil doesn't really post much but when he does it's of other ppl (primarily Allison and Matt but sometimes there is a 'soft launch' of Andrew which the goalie says he hates but never tells him to delete), his account is mainly centred around exy -- all his stories are exy related etc.

Sometimes he tags Kevin in random shit that makes no sense to anyone but them. One time he reposted this random french tumblr post about mafia relations and tagged Kevin and Kevin was hysterical because what the fuck are you doing neil are you trying to get us killed.

Funnily, his pfp is a photo of Kevin smashed drunk because he found it really funny and Kevin ends up blocking Neil on social media when he refused to change it (and because of the shit he gets tagged in).

Kevin

Kevin keeps his Instagram very professional. He posts his magazine photoshoots & has stupid shit like clips of him on Kathy's show saying. "Thank you for having me @kathy, it was a pleasure." and the fans EAT IT UP.

The foxes don't let him live it down and every time he posts anything the foxes all repost it w stupid music or something like that, or just with "HAHAHAHAHAHAH".

But that's not just it, sometimes Kevin posts photos from practice; sneak shots that nobody realises he's taken. It seems sweet; it would be sweet if he wasn't such a raging asshole when they practice. He also posts their match scores on his story.

What shocks the foxes the most out of everything is how open he is about his obsession with USC Trojans. Sometimes they wonder whether they accidentally followed a Trojan fan account but no, it's just Kevin Day shitposting about Jeremy Knox.

Nicky

Nicky predominantly posts loads of selfies and shit, lots of candid photos of the others!!!! He does 'camera dumps' and 'monthly dumps' of photos. He posts everything that he can and his story is like a vlog.

He's also very outspoken with his opinion of social media and goes live all the damn time. It drives the monsters insane when they hear "hey guys!" from their living room.

He actually gains quite a bit of attention as the only fox who isn't completely shutdown secrative about his life and so his reason for posting is fed constantly.

He likes to do those "ask me question" stories and it's really entertaining to see him suddenly rush up to one of the foxes and ask questions that the fans want to know. If you're a new fan, your go to Instagram is 100% Nickys. His highlights are full of info on everything and everyone.

It surprises the foxes immensely when they find out his Twitter time is more than Instagram.

Allison

Allison is similar to Nicky in some sense but more professional, it has more of a 'model/fashion student' vibe to it; she likes to post random stories of her having dressed Neil up (bonding she calls it) and has a little highlight for him (the foxes appreciate her efforts).

She likes to do reels, like "dress up neil w/ me!". She also does advertisements w/ skincare & makeup groups.

She has a very aesthetic-looking account; she likes to do GRWM's (and sometimes they star a fellow fox which makes the fan so excited for each new release). She's extremely charismatic and draws a lot of followers from industries other than sport/exy.

Dan

Dan posts about Exy A LOT which surprises the foxes because even though they know that she loves the sport they didn't realise she followed it with such ferocity.

She has a lot of Foxes content on her page, like group photos or post-match selfies etc. She always posts something like that with the score of the game in the caption.

Her pfp is either one of her and Matt's eyes or a photo of them kissing at the end of a game (maybe the Raven one?).

Matt

Matt's Instagram is a shrine of Dan...andNeil. His focus is largely selfies w them or candids of them. He has highlights for them, named "<3" & "Neil!" (they used to both be <3 but then someone asked if they were poly and the foxes lost their shit).

Matt doesn't really post about exy that much, his Instagram seems to capture the domestic side of the Foxes that don't get shown too much through the other's accounts.

Matt's favourite passtime is posting photos of Neil where he blatantly crops Andrew out of the photo. So you get: Neil looking in adoration at... someone? something? The fans go crazy every time.

Renee

Renee's Instagram is the epitome of domestic. It's crazy. She's private and only accepts people she knows (aka the foxes). She posts the most beautiful candids of the foxes you will ever see; them in their Halloween outfits in Eden's Twilight, (an extra slide of Andrew and Neil looking at each other (it was a collective agreement to ignore Kevin who was slumped on the table)), them post Raven match which was taken by Stephanie Walker, a games night which Neil somehow coaxed everyone into (including Andrew) etc.

It's an account almost solely for documenting the PSU Foxes adventures together. Sometimes she posts a quote about her beliefs or music that she likes.

Her account is the foxes favourite, though they'd never admit it.

Even at gunpoint.

Aaron

Last (and very much least), Aarons Instagram (post book three) is almost entirely soft-launching Katelyn.

Library study photos where you can see a girl's hand and someone else's book?

Check.

Two coffees one which has a lipstick stain on it?

Check.

He's done it all.

(Pre-book three as well) He also sometimes posts random photos of like locations (#courthouse /j) but nothing more than that, all of it is Katelyn and it makes the foxes ill.

I may do more. or edit this

[aftgficrec]

Hi!!! Do you have any recommendations for Kevin/Jeremy/Jean fics? Both more canon compliant ones or AUs are fine. Thanks!

I’m pleased to say there are some fabulous fics in our previous recs, and I found quite a lot more Kerejean for you here. - S

Previously recommended:

In the Light of Day here

‘when i kissed the teacher’, ‘Lap Sitting’ and ‘Spice the Eggnog Ch.8’ here

‘Daylight, Sunsets’ here

‘Belief’, ‘Our First Christmas’ and ‘Kerejean soulmate au’ here

‘Funeral Pyre’ here (updated)

‘Best of you’ here (updated)

‘To Be Certain We'll Be Tall Again’ here (completed)

‘Coming Home’ here

‘Enby Kevin/Kerejean Request’ here

text me (when you're home) by Anonymous [Rated T, 11007 words, incomplete, last updated Sept 2024]

After a summer of radio silence Jean finally reaches out to Kevin in form of a text. It goes from there. or a kevjerjean texting fic

'tis the damn season by footnotesforfoxes (y2beans) [Rated M, 7155 words, incomplete, last updated Aug 2024]

BREAKING NEWS - Exy star Kevin Day suffers extreme knee injury! Will he ever play again? Kevin Day, Jean Moreau, and Jeremy Knox have never been able to leave each other alone. That is until five years ago when Kevin chose his future in Exy over making a life for himself with a couple. After a career-altering injury, he is forced to face the mistakes of his past and find that love that still waits for him.

tw: negative self image

So Dark the Hunger, So Sweet the Ruin by NikNak22 [Rated M, 7233 words, complete, 2024]

This is a story about a boy, a monster, and a curse. It is about a sun, a moon, and some stars. It is about longing, words unspoken, and scars that never heal. It is about things scuttling around in the dark that should never be seen. It is about wanting something so badly that you would sacrifice everything to keep it safe. Even from yourself. Aka in a world where Kevin doesn't have a soul mark, what is the point of him falling in love?

tw: depression, tw: self esteem issues, tw: negative self talk, tw: implied/referenced suicide attempt

Haunting Spirits by fullyvisible [Rated T, 13637 words, complete, Daylight Savings Fest 2024]

Kevin's life is going wonderfully until the fifth anniversary of Riko's death catches him by surprise, and he realizes his happiness--and his sobriety--may be more precariously balanced than he had thought. Kevin is desperate to keep it together well enough to prevent anyone from noticing, but Jean and Jeremy know him better than most.

tw: alcoholism, tw: ptsd

Because, Despite, Still by codename_adler [Rated T, 11047 words, complete, Daylight Savings Fest 2024, locked]

"No matter what Jeremy thought he knew, no matter his meticulous observations and incessant pleas for Kevin to come and fix Jean, Kevin could see plainly that perhaps he should not have trusted the USC Captain on that one. Every time you show up on TV or any of us talk about you, he shuts his eyes for a few seconds. Like… Like he’s looking for you, inside himself. There’s nothing… There’s nothing else I can give him. I swear to you Kevin, I would if I did. I’m well aware this is most certainly going to get uglier before it gets better, but that’s a knife I can’t remove myself. Only you, Kevin. Only you. Please come home to him."

tw: implied/referenced abuse 

NB: you can find a link to a playlist for this fic on the author’s tumblr post

The "Ex" Protocol by KweenDay [Rated M, 14151 words, complete, Daylight Savings Fest 2024, locked]

Jeremy has heard about Jean's high school boyfriend, Kevin, of course, but he's not jealous. He doesn't get jealous over exes. Except... he didn't know ex-Kevin was THE Kevin Day, Exy royalty extraordinaire. And no, he's still not jealous... or obsessed with him. So what if he keeps finding a way for the three of them to be in the same room time and again? It's for research! Obviously.

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced cult membership

In The Middle by KweenDay [Rated E, 6894 words, complete, 2024, locked]

Jean has always looked at his life in two segments - the one when he loved Kevin Day and both, pleasure and pain, were inextricably linked; and the one when he loved Jeremy Knox and he learned that loving someone could come without the threat of pain looming over his head. But in the past few months, both of those segments are bleeding into each other. The shadows of the past mixing with his present, and Jean thinks maybe this is a whole new chapter. Something different. Something good.

tw: explicit sexual content

Break the Ice by noNic02 [Rated E, 25396 words, incomplete, last updated Feb 2024]

Things are finally looking up for Jeremy Knox. He moved to a new city, he likes his university program, his roommates are great (mostly), and he started hooking up with one very attractive Jean Moreau. There's really only one problem - Jean's roommate hates him.

tw: explicit sexual content, tw: scars, tw: implied/referenced abuse

Tell me where it hurts most by xxhearttommo [Rated T, 1828 words, complete, 2024]

Jeremy is on a date with his boyfriends when he answers a call from his mother and finds out his father has passed away. Jeremy is hurting. Jean and Kevin help him get himself together and go through a rough patch.

tw: death of a parent

suneater by REDRAGEOUSED [Not Rated, 11371 words, incomplete, last updated Jan 2024]

Jeremy reaches over and messes with Kevin’s hair, nails scratching his scalp lightly, and he leans into it hard, barely noticing it when he turns to whisper to Jean that “they should probably get him home.” Then the car is starting and Jeremy’s hand pulls back and this time, this time Kevin holds back the whine, but he’s still feeling fucking ridiculous because what grown man enjoys being pet. Kevin is not built for this, he is not built for affection and soft touches, he is built to be hit and bruised and pushed to his limits so this is just all fucking wrong. kevin day is desperate and fucked up and everything wrong with the world. he's not sure how they haven't realized yet.

tw: implied/referenced eating disorders, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced abuse 

through numb lips by REDRAGEOUSED [Not Rated, 2494 words, complete, 2024]

Kevin isn’t really sure why they’re whispering, but given the way he has to swallow, thick and heavy, to answer, he thinks it's probably for the best. He says “I think- I think I’m high.��� He doesn’t know why he says it like that, but then Jean, vaguely somewhere up laughs, and he’s glad he did. kevin day gets high & gives the best blowjob of his life

tw: explicit sexual content, tw: recreational drug use

Lagom by NikNak22 [Rated E, 19399 words, complete, 2023]

When his kingdom falls, Prince Kevin Day is ripped from his golden cage and thrust into reality. With no skills to speak of and his title gone, he has to work long and hard to learn how to survive. It is only through the grace of his teachers (or captors or liberators, depending on how one looks at it) that he has succeeded, allowing him a kind of freedom and self-sufficiency he's never known. Together, Jeremy, Jean, and Kevin form a tenuous bond of loyalty and obligation, allowing them to co-exist peacefully. It is a partnership built on mutual understanding and respect. One with clear lines and boundaries. One that reminds Kevin daily of his place. Until one day, it all starts to unravel.

tw: explicit sexual content, tw: self esteem issues

The Love We Unravel by fullyvisible [Rated T, 10049 words, complete, 2023]

Jeremy deserves a comfortable, safe life; Jean knows he can't give it to him - and neither can Kevin. But they don't consider whether Jeremy thinks they're a risk worth taking. Inspired by Midnight Rain by Taylor Swift.

Birthday Wishes by fullyvisible [Rated T, 2595 words, complete, 2023]

It's Jean's birthday, and he expects to spend it alone - which would be fine, if he hadn't gotten so used to spending his time with Jeremy and Kevin.

Beach Trip by fullyvisible [Rated T, 4592 words, complete, 2022]

When Jeremy finds out Kevin and Jean have never been to the beach, he decides to take them for a day in the sand, sun, and waves.

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced scars

Optimiste by mitigates [Rated M, 28838 words, complete, 2022]

“Riko is- is dead. I am- I am- I am alive-” Jean sucked in a gasping breath that made his chest ache with the force of it. He gripped Kevin’s collar until his breaths calmed into a slow aftershock.  A soft gasp in the doorway revealed Jeremy’s presence. Jean turned on him, eyes flashing. He said the words harshly in French, “This does not concern you!” - or - Jean loses his memories after an accident. In his mind, he's barely survived Riko's last beating, Kevin left him alone at the Nest, and Jeremy is nothing more than a strange captain from another team.

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: major character injury, tw: nightmares

can you show me how to make it true? by Flowerparrish [Rated E, 11071 words, complete, 2021, locked]

It’s not that Kevin and Jean don’t text. But one day, Kevin gets the text.

tw: implied/referenced alcohol abuse

doomsday by erosandhades [Rated T, 4810 words, complete, 2021]

He remembered every drink Kevin had thrown at him, then the shots, then moving to the next party, then Jean. He remembered thinking “fuck it”. He remembered doing three more shots with Kevin and two with Jean. Now, he didn’t remember how he got there. Or that tweet "one time at a party i kissed someone's girlfriend and to make sure he wasn't mad about it i just kissed him too... i blacked out and woke up to a text in a groupchat with both of them that said "did you make it home safe baby? <3"' but make it Kerejean.

One, two princes kneel before you by moonqueerdom [Rated T, 10084 words, complete, 2021]

Once upon a time, on a cold, dark night in the Central Court of Arcane, the annual winter masked ball was held. Faeries danced majestically all over the place, for the song being played by a charming group of faeries was enchanted (more literally than not) and the folk wouldn't miss the opportunity to celebrate the solstice. The winter flowers were blooming inside the castle with all the magic bursting from the Land and from the folk, and snow was falling outside the transparent plasma-gloss walls. And, last but not least, two princes and a guard were about to meet among all those partying people. A fairy tale about three faeries who meet at a masquerade ball and accidentally start a new folklore. And they're a chaotic mess.

Ask me to kneel by moonqueerdom [Rated E, 15404 words, complete, 2020]

Jeremy Knox meets Jean Moreau and Kevin Day in a BDSM club after some time without seeing them and finds that they have quite a Dom/sub dynamic that interests him immediately

tw: explicit sexual content

Stuck With U by moonqueerdom [Rated M, 21198 words, complete, 2020]

Jeremy and Jean go to Denver and stay at Kevin's apartment, but then the quarantine starts and they are forced to spend much more time than they expected in the city. And at Kevin's apartment.

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: anxiety, tw: implied/referenced suicide, tw: alcohol abuse

Art

cuddly kerejean by @ohsleepie on X

cold weather is better if you have two boyfriends to be your personal heaters🧡❤️💛 by @princesoleil29

highkey in love w them ? by @redrageoused

I’m supposed to be working but I needed everyone to see my vision by @thepriceofsurvival

Hockey is rotting my brain , but so is Kerejean  by @jeremy-knoxs-on-wood

[codename-adler]

oh the babes game is on

aftg rarepairs #1 here

[dayurno]

kevin would be so many teen boys’ queer awakenings. i think he would have been jeremy’s for sure. kevin day and the way every man is cursed to be a little obsessed with him

YEAH HONESTLY i always think about how uncharismatic kevin is and how much he must've been in riko's shadow as number two but then i remember that kevin is tall dark and handsome and i'm good again. he might not have brought home the gold but he did make freshman jeremy knox stutter in front of the entire team so there's always going to be hope for him

also neil honestly. i think one day he's going to wake up and realize it was all puberty. all those pictures of kevin he cut up and put in his binder. when he'd linger at kevin's arms or legs or waist. ALL puberty. and then he's going to be so mortified about it he's never going to bring it up again

[adamsrcnan]

okay i'll bite, here's my jeremy knox speculations !!!

it's nothing super outrageous in my opinion, as fun and interesting as that would be, but alas lets dig in.

with regards to the police, his step grandfather is a congressman which means his step father probably has political ties too. this could mean they have ties to the police force perhaps involved in funding or something?? hence why jeremy would be recognised by them bc he gets forced to go to these occasions to paint a perfect family picture and maybe they're full of cops?? and maybe that's just not something he wants to be associated with lmao. cannot blame him now can we?

rhemann tells jean he can ask jeremy to leave the vicinity if he wants to press charges and call the cops i don't think this is because jeremy could get in trouble or anything bc i don't think rhemann would risk that. i think it's just because him being there might have sway or might lead to more gossip among the force that jean would wanna avoid. and if rhemann knows about whatever this weird avoiding police thing is i'm not sure it would be something so horrible??

in terms of his past. personally i don't agree jeremy was aggressive as a teen. i read him talking about his high school team as more of a "they played that way. i didn't vibe with it. i wanted to make sure my college team wasn't the same" i mean it's basically what he says he doesn't imply anything else but again the guy is closed off as HECK so god knows. but i don't think jeremy has an aggressive tendency. i feel like, given how the foxes have their entire lives pried into, if jeremy had such a reputation in the past (being in a class 1 team and captain of it no less) it would be known. and jean would know bc of kevin's obsession. like that would be a huge scandal.

i don't think he's done anything crazy like murder or manslaughter or has any assault charge. although that screenshot i posted a couple days ago is very Very sus, i think it might stem from how his family makes him feel about himself. because again i don't think he'd be able to keep any of that hidden.

UNLESS it's been all swept under the rug thanks to the political ties from the step family, and maybe that's why they dislike him so much. but again i think it's all a bit far fetched bc i don't think jeremy would be able to be so well adjusted after something like that, even after attending therapy.

which brings me to my next point, which is where he mentioned his mother finding the therapist for him and his family as he says "us" when talking about it which means they all see this therapist and jean mentions jeremy does not seem bothered to be exposed for having to go to therapy. i think if he was in therapy bc he did something really terrible he wouldn't want it known. especially if it's meant to be swept under the rug. i think this is in relation to the mysterious brother and the possibility of losing them to suicide. as he becomes very serious when jean says he promised he wouldn't kill himself saying it's nothing to joke about. also his concern for jean's wellbeing after ravens start dropping like flies maybe bc he knows how the grief feels.

thought that could also be a far fetched speculation because jeremy says the fall banquet broke their family in half. it's obvious his step family and his older brother and younger sister are not on his side, his mother sounds questionable too. so maybe that just leaves his other brother and his father and again maybe it's just a case of them being supportive of jeremy's sexuality.

there's also a brief mention of jeremy's dad being stationed in europe - some kind of military man?? since his mother re-married there's definitely something there too. maybe jeremy still keeps in touch with his father and it's not appreciated by the rest of the family? idk this one's a bit of a stretch but i feel like it might crop up again. what with jeremy not wanting to be addressed as "knox" as well - is that his father's name or his step father's name??? why does he not like it??

moving on to the scandal at the fall banquet i think this has to do with jeremy getting outed for being gay. lucas before cutting himself off at the beach says "now that you're.." implying they didn't know before so maybe jeremy was keeping it under wraps but got involved with someone from another team (???) at the banquet and got caught. his step grandfather and step father, and brother are probably very conservative and of course did not agree with jeremy's "lifestyle" and i think this had consequences on the whole family as it probably got out and "tarnished" their image. jeremy was probably asked to give up exy so as not to get involved with all "that" and he obviously refused. punishment for that probably meant his sister not caring for his games anymore as he wouldn't compromise for her, him getting put on a strict allowance and his mother's bookkeeper having to keep up with his expenses bc he's only given a certain amount of money. maybe a way for them to take back control over his life?? it also could explain why he has to stay at home during the school year so they can keep an eye on him perhaps??? also him getting dismissed from the dinner table bc of his hair as well idk sounds like his family are probs homophobic. also kind of a stretch but mayyyybeee the reason jeremy feels so bad is because he got the person he was involved with into trouble so he feels like a terrible person. but again there's really no alluding to that or implication i'm basically just taking a wild guess. but i feel like it would make some sort of sense

TLDR; i think jeremy's big "scandal" was that he's gay and his step family are just not accepting so they make his life difficult on purpose and he struggles to stand up to them about it

[laurentsmadrecklessgambit]

I have literally never written fanfiction in my life before but I'm so obsessed with the thought of Kevin Day and his relationship with every single character except Thea that I want to start!!

I've spent the past few years taking it as a personal headcanon that Kevin, Andrew and Neil work something out (mostly because in my head, Kevin moves in with them when they all sign for Court and he's like a year or two in and suddenly has the realisation that maybe it's not entirely platonic to live with two gays and occasionally do the do??)

Unfortunately TSC has corrupted me and I'm now on board the Jeremy / Jean / Kevin ship. My boys are going to heal and then they are going to find each other again, and Jeremy Knox is going to be the blonde between them because LORD they both deserve him and his smile and his blonde hair and-

[farawaysoph-ie]

The Sunshine Court Incoherent Whatever (pt.1)

Okay. Okay.

I just finished The Sunshine Court and 1) Jean Moreau what have you done to me? 2) Jean Moreau what have(n't) they done to you?

I started this, then went and re-read tkm (bc the obsession was always latent and never gone), so I could compare both Neil and Jean pov and well, suffice to say I'm not okay and I feel too much.

Thank you Nora Sakavic, it was painful and amazing.

I have a long train ride so I might as well bring back my incoherent whatever after *checks the notes* 4 years :')

As always this will be so full of spoilers.

(Unrelated spoiler: the train ride wasn't enough)

Let's start with the general:

After loving Neil maybe too much the shift to Jean took awhile to adjust to but now I'm ready to fight at least three mafia families, every single hater (fictional or otherwise) and the FBI for him

Jeremy Knox was everything, but like everyone on here, what are you hiding Jeremy?? What's going on??

Cat and Laila, my beloved ™️ the care these two effortlessly gave made me cry

This whole book was a serious trigger for me, but I'm in too deep with this series, imagine me like that Simpsons meme, I did it for my new french son

Characters, thoughts:

I said before the Ravens were a cult, but I hadn't really understood that statement. Every time Jean spoke of them it hit deeper and deeper how messed up and unfair it all was.

Boy am I happy that Riko is dead, like I didn't really wish anyone the fate of being shot by an unfeeling older brother, until Jean's pov hit me like a high speed train.

Andrew spoke exactly one word in this, still was iconic and a scene stealer, how in character for him

I forgot how much I always want to slap Kevin Day when he's trying his best to be annoying, it's because I love him, I swear! (But seriously his relationship with Jean is so complex and well executed I will think about it for a very long while)

I didn't give much thought to Renee and Jean relationship in tkm, but it broke my heart here, it's when I started to actually tear up, I love them so much rainbows, a cool evening breeze. I can't.

"Tell me something"

"Where are you now?"

The whole dynamic of the Cat&Laila& sometimesJeremy's apartment

Cat teaching Jean how to cook + motorbike ride (open roads)

Laila taking him to shopping

Jeremy wanting to make Jean Moreau the Person his success story

Neil dragging Jean towards survival without giving him a choice, again and again: he sent Renee as gentle bait, closed a deal in his name with a mafia boss, promised him he would win against Riko in his name too, promised him again Riko was dead, ordered a hit on his rapist, offered to delay the talk with the FBI, linked his sister to his name, to survival and to what he deserved. I NEED more interactions between them, I am not above begging.

I have to get a better idea on the other Trojans, but for now the policule was cute, I need more Cody and less Lucas. Like I can understand where he was coming from? But he needs to shut up now, you made your mess man, now go play Exy like you were supposed to.

I miss the Foxes :'(

Wymack! I almost forgot everyone's favourite dad-coach: he showed up, brought alcohol, got more tired, delivered care to yet another traumatized child, spent a whole day on airplanes to bring him to Los Angeles, left him money for clothes&co. bc he's not doing this again, answered his call when he was having The Breakdown. Best dad-coach ever in the history of dad-coaches.

Plot things:

Jean at the beginning was so scared and in so much pain it took a while to get a clear picture of him as a person

Still loved all his salty comments and insults, he couldn't help himself

Renee sitting with him and caring with Abby and Wymack :')

Jean being afraid of going back and of not going back to Evermore, hating the ones that got to leave

The self harm and all the people in this that fought him to keep his hands from his neck, his scars, himself

"I am Jean Moreau. My place is at Evermore. I will endure."

Jean not believing in Wymack care, waiting for the act to end and the other shoe to drop

The disbelief at Kevin being away from the court and him admitting he went at knifepoint (and meaning it literally), sometimes this was a comedy

Wymack, Jean, and the burning of houses

Jean's opinion of the Foxes going from those mediocre fools to those mediocre madmen to the madmen that actually beat Riko Moriyama

Wymack putting Jean's phone in the freezer and hating computers

“That man is years overdue for a high-speed, head-on collision.” couldn't have said it better, but Neil was already on it at that point

"Jean knew better than to look for anger in his stare; the best Kevin could manage was bottomless guilt."

“It was my only chance,” Kevin said. “I knew you wouldn’t come with me.” “My place is at Evermore,” Jean agreed, “but you did not have to slit my throat on the way out.”

“Your blind loyalty to those clowns is exhausting.” “Some of them you like,” Kevin reminded him. “Don’t you dare,”

Nathaniel "Hello Jean" Wesninski vs Jean "Go away" Moreau

This whole conversation went very differently compared to tkm: like there Neil came, dropped a metaphorical bomb, glossed over the explanation and went away trying to convince Andrew they are something

Jean was ambushed by two of his most complicated acquaintances (???) and their "pet goalkeeper" (god I need Andrew's reaction to this "nickname", but I guess no one will ever say this to his face, Neil would be too busy fighting you at the suggestion to ever repeat it), had his worldwiew turned upside down with no chance of having a say in the matter, then was left alone with Kevin Day and the aftermath.

So yes two different conversation; also I kinda forgot of the deal about Neil and his smile

“Everyone who has tried to tame him has failed.”

All for the game: a summary

There was no getting away; there was only getting through.

Jean Moreau who (hasn't) hurt you, part some of too many

What really makes it messed up is that on one hand there was Riko and his mad cruelty and on the other there was an entire team of bystanders At Best: some people were an active part and then pretended, no sympathy for them; others decided to ignore the truth to survive and get what they wanted, which I can understand but I guess they still didn't have the decency to shut up when Jean got away. The anger that crawled through my skin when the smear campaign and the notebook/postcards/magnets thing happened. You should have stayed silent until the end you fucks.

“Do it, then. It wouldn’t take much; we all know I have brittle bones.”

Jeremy pov kinda gave you whiplash, with him waking up super early, helping homeless men, but then you start noticing all the things he avoids almost effortlessly and like, what are you hiding sunshine man??

What actually broke me about his povs was him noticing all these details about Jean, and then misinterpreting them, bc whatever he's been through Jean has had it 100 times worse and this doesn't even factor in Jeremy world. I'm pretty sure he'll get the whole truth in the end and I'm scared of what it'll do to him.

Also Jean being like Ravens always had to keep secrets and then spilling most of them almost unprompted, let's laugh in order not to cry

“He hasn’t played a clean game in years,” Kevin admitted, “but he knows how to follow orders. If you tell him to submit, he will.” “Literally the most awkward way you could’ve worded it,” Jeremy said.

This will keep coming back, Kevin please. (He 100% ships it, one of us)

The Foxes catching the too tired Trojans and Jeremy being like, you are all approved (I need the two teams to interact now)

Also the Trojans being like how are they still standing, Neil how are you still running??

Someone pointed out they wanted Neil to interact with Jeans closest teammates bc if he is a madman by Jean standards, what would normal people make of him? To which yes, but also guys consider this: Neil said to Cat and Laila that they were terrifying after the semifinal, he took a step back when Jeremy opened the door and silently invited him in. I need Neil and the floozies to interact so Neil can experience real fear.

Mafia bosses have nothing on wholesome people, the true weakness of one Neil Josten

Jean immediately hanging up on Jeremy will never not be funny

When you get to the title of the book and it's Jean insulting people <3

I will Never, NEVER, get over the "nineteen". Never.

I love Abby but when she told that bit about fighting back, It Hurt. She probably didn't really mean it and didn't know everything bc how are you supposed to keep fighting when you are fifteen, alone and forsaken in a place that is built to break you? As it has been pointed out, Neil had rebellion beaten into him by a mother that chose him and ran; Jean had a sister that he hoped to protect and parents that sold him away like property. Five months were actually a long time.

Dobson keeps being iconic, I don't know what to think about the I don't know how exy works bit: I mean I've been obsessing with this and still don't know how exy works (plz don't hate me), but at the same time it was such a power move and got Jean to talk

“Of course it’d be you, you tedious malcontent.” “Good morning to you, too.” Nathaniel held up an oversized bandage.

You see why I need more of their interactions, right?

Nathaniel was different; he always would be. He wasn’t a Raven, but he was, same as Jean. He was Jean’s misplaced forever partner, an unfulfilled promise Jean had stopped believing in years ago.

You can now be forever partners while you tear down your families :)

I think that I'm stuck on the two of them bc while Kevin broke a promise to save himself (to which no hate, when dealing with madmen like Riko you have to save yourself) and still couldn't, not completely, Neil was a promise made and broken by other people. Jean hates him bc they were supposed to share a destiny and all the misery, but I think very deep down he knows that if Nathaniel had come to the Nest they would still be nursing wounds and appeasing a tyrant. Neil is the one that stood against Riko when Kevin wanted to hide, the one that gave him courage by example, the one that dragged Jean away from the Ravens, both for selfish reasons (taking down Riko) and better ones (paying him back for saving his life a the Nest).

But still

“You are only here now because you are an abominable cockroach,”

Funny how Neil forgot to tell us about the breakdown about Kevin's tattoo, he was probably thinking about the match. Junkie.

The cheese drawer guys, ???

To this day I still can't decide what was more iconic: Kevin Day switching playing hand halfway through the game and pretty much scoring everything until the last second, Neil being so fast that it made up for him being a shitty defender, Andrew crossing the court to keep Neil from being murdered (I'm biased, but still iconic moments all of them)

Experiencing this match from Jean's pov was amazing writing, like the countdown of the last ten seconds, the Riko-Neil bit without volume but from a different angle (I didn't really realize everyone was able to see the King attempting murder live on TV, but hey perspective)

Run, Jean thought. He didn't know if he was thinking it at Andrew or Nathaniel. Run.

"That wasn't a miracle," Jean typed out. "That was the Foxes."

:')

When Jean found about Riko though :'(

The shudder that wracked his chest should have been revulsion, but it fell dangerously short. This didn't feel like joy or relief; it only felt like loss. [...] Who was he without them?"

I loved that he woke up to Renee and Neil though, the rainbow and the witness

Renee always hitting the point, this wonderful girl

"Maybe you're mourning the wreckage he made of your life. You're allowed to grieve what he took from you."

"It's impressive, isn't it? How easily these monsters die in the end."

Neil Abram Josten said I'm done letting monsters ruin my life and my people, he actually promised.

When he called him Neil guys, tears

Also I found peculiar that when thinking about the room he destroyed Jean calls it "Neil's dorm room", not Kevin's who he's known for actually longer. It's what makes me think that they have a chance at not being misplaced forever anymore.

Renee either hits you with hidden wisdom of the universe or with practical and brutal advice, and we love her for that

The two of them, the Two Of THEEEEEEEEM

Jean noticed how Andrew and Neil moved like they were caught in each other's gravity, in each other's space more than they were out of it, cigarette smoke and matching armbands and lingering looks when one fell out of orbit for too long.

Just leaving this here.

The airport bit :'(

"Men like Wymack didn't exist. They couldn't; they shouldn't."

Enter Jeremy Knox and his yo-yo in the middle of said airport. Flawless.

This man was put on Earth to test Jean, at least that's what he will keep thinking from here on

The rest of this book is Jean having conversations with people and not understanding them, bc he's been living for five (seven) years in a cult. It is an escalation pretty painful to watch, I think the Trojans are all of us :'(

Question: will Jean end up teaching Jeremy French? Will Jeremy learn by himself? I think I'd probably prefer the latter

Cat, the mess, the music, the tour, I love her so much

Jeremy "he's a little off" Knox, he was trying

Barkbark von Barkenstein

Jean Moreau and the real world (bubble tea? you have to shop for stuff? you sign things yourself? you leave campus? someone help this disoriented french bean)

"Something had gone horribly wrong at Evermore"

oh Jeremy

Watching Jeremy regret almost all his questions :'(

“Three fractured ribs. Sprained LCL. Twisted ankle. Broken nose. That’s most of it.” That’s most of it.

Laila, who pushed and got angry for Jean and didn't back down despite him lashing out, my beloved

You look like a Ken doll." + "This isn't blond."

"Not Grayson.[...] Please." that one made me sick, the writing made me feel even only a part of what Jean was feeling and it was enough to feel sick

The water :'(

Jean just leaving when confronted with Laila and Jeremy in swimsuits was very bi of him

Lucas coming in looking like a well know nightmare and the Ravens dropping like flies

I didn't ask.

It's not like I didn't know, right? But I still died inside

Zane and the betrayal

Jeremy didn’t let him get away with it. “That’s not the issue and you know it. I don’t want to crowd you.” “You are not them,” Jean said. “Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.”

Jean taking one look at the doctor sent by the coaches and going nope, Dobson will be definitely better

Jeremy seeing the nightmares and the scars and not being able to do much:(

A hand on his chin startled him into looking up. When he met Jean’s eyes, Jean only said, “Focus on what’s important.” “I am,” Jeremy said. Jean opened his mouth, closed it again, and let go of Jeremy without a word. Jeremy snagged his arm when he started to turn away. “Who did this to you?”

I'm sorry did he just

“It’s not about size, anyway.” “Defensive,” Jean said, tugging his glove straps with his teeth. Jeremy straightened in indignation. “I don’t have anything to be defensive about.” Jean lost his grip and bit his lip, and Jeremy hurried on before either of them could think too much about that double entendre.

“Say ‘yes, Jeremy’.” He had the distinct impression Jean wanted to roll his eyes. “Yes, Jeremy.” Jeremy forgot everything else he could have said in favor of staring. It was the first time he’d heard Jean say his name.

Are you seeing this? Yes? Good, let's go on

“If I ever make you uncomfortable or make you feel unsafe, will you promise to tell me? If you don’t trust me enough to tell me what’s wrong and why, at least trust me enough to tell me that something is wrong. I can’t fix things if I don’t know there’s a problem. As your captain and your partner, don’t I at least deserve the chance to not be a villain in your story?”

The pool bit :'( and after when they tell there are no pools at Evermore. Riko is so lucky to already be dead :)

You’re forcing us to hurt you without giving us any say in the matter.”

Watching Jean trying to navigate his interactions with the Trojans was painful, frustrating but also hopeful. This boy has been hurt so much and so often, he doesn't get what normal looks like anymore. But the Trojans don't let him get away with it (even if it breaks their heart and the coaches will probably get a lot of grey hair from this)

"Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.” “You are naïve.” “Maybe you’ll define success by how we do this season, but I’m not obligated to do the same. You are going to be my success story: Jean Moreau the person, not Jean Moreau of the perfect Court. You take care of one, and I’ll take care of the other.” “That is not how it works.” “Is there a rule against it?” “There is no merit to it. This is all I am.” Jeremy ignored that and asked again, “Is there a rule against it?”

Jeremy gay panicking and the photo of Renee

The floozy line!

Every time Jeremy goes "our coaches" or "our teammates" all I can think in my head is "someone will die" "of fun!!!!"

Jean wondering if the Trojans have something against recruiting tall players xD

“Thank you for worrying about them. You’re a good man, Jean Moreau.” “A ridiculous sentiment,” he said. “I mean it,”

This man didn't even second guess himself, he had to ask because he knew and it didn't even occur to him to be silent. Excuse me sir? Shut up you are a good man

“I assumed the Trojans were idiots,” Jean said. “Now I think you are all insane.” “It’s a step up,” Cody said. “I’ll take it.”

The practices, the scars pt2

“It is all I am, Coach.”

“We did not want outsiders at Evermore.” “Except Neil,” Cat said. “Neil was a special case,” Jean allowed.

#accurate

You’re hurting me.” “It has been toward for five years,” Jean said, looking past Jeremy at the scrimmage that was still going on without them. “It is not that easy to undo.” Jeremy frowned at him and echoed, “Five? You were only with the Ravens for three.” “I moved into Evermore two years before I enrolled,” Jean said, and hauled Jeremy to one side. The stray ball that had been coming for them ricocheted off his chest instead of Jeremy’s back, and Jean scooped it up on the rebound with a quick snap of his wrist. He hurled it across the court toward Cody one-handed before finally letting go of Jeremy. “I will try harder.”

The notebooks breakdown hurt so bad bc Cat and Laila being angry for him (they are all of us), Jeremy trying to mediate bc he's been there, he pushed and Jean broke and he doesn't want to hurt him, and Jean who confesses his secrets without meaning to, just to realize and panic. What a recipe for a disaster.

“How dare they blame you for anything after what they did to you. How dare you grieve them.” It hit like a sucker punch, but Jean’s frustrated rejoinder was worse: “They don’t know.”

They don't know, but they could guess. They could smell the blood. They joked about his brittle bones. He was sixteen. I'm not sorry for the mercy I don't have after finishing this book

Jeremy could only watch in wretched silence as Jean tried to walk himself back from the edge. He cast his phone aside in favor of catching Jean’s face in his hands, and the way Jean flinched at his touch was almost his undoing. “Hey,” he said quietly. “Hey. Jean. Look at me.” Jean refused, and Jeremy grasped desperately for anything that could bring Jean back to him. He seized on the only thing he could and threw Jean’s words back at him: “You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.” It wouldn’t work, but it did. Jean opened his eyes to meet Jeremy’s stare. “I told you not to ask me about him.”

I had seen the quote before reading but no one told me what followed ç.ç

He felt a tremor in Jean’s hands, and for a blinding moment he was sure Jean would lean into the safety of this silent confession. But Jean only sucked in a slow breath and said, “Now I am not safe with you, captain.” Letting go of Jean was the hardest thing Jeremy had ever done. Everything in him railed against this, and for a moment he regretted giving Jean a way out.

I was not crying, I swear.

“I’m sorry,” Jeremy said, because he didn’t have the strength for small talk or a softer approach right now. “Did Riko break your hand?”

That was one heavy conversation and it's just the start (Jeremy is Not Fine™️)

He is not used to having a voice, and he has never had power. I cannot promise he will ever talk to you.” “I will wait as long as it takes,” Jeremy said.

Still best boy

And maybe in many ways he still was, but a martyr could still be a monster when the cameras weren’t rolling.

Boy do I have news for you (do you think Jeremy will know that Riko didn't kill himself? Does it matter? I think not knowing this particular detail would be fine, I still don't really know how much this sunshine boy can take (more than I expected but still))

Did I mention that I really love the apartment trio? Cat and Laila agreeing to silence but still being angry (drag them girls, draaaaag them), the dinner and movie and Jean not getting up to leave

Did I mention Lucas is free to shut up and play? :) Because I get that you are angry, but 1) it's not your decision to make, we don't need your conspiracy theories 2) it's not Jean problem, he has enough of them leave him alone

“Ask him why he’s so sure the rumors are true. Ask him what his part in it was. If you’re going to believe him just because he’s blood, then at least make him tell you the truth.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucas demanded.

And Jean still deciding not to lie, he may be an asshole but almost everyone he has known didn't deserve him

Also I don't know where Lucas got the audacity? You think there is something the justifies breaking a player's ribs?? What is wrong with you, you are part of the sunshine court

The dread when asking if Grayson was home

The bike ride :')

Now that they were settled, he expected an interrogation or a reason for this unscheduled trip out. When she failed to explain herself, Jean finally asked, “Why are we here?” “I love it here,” [...] “I don’t know. I just felt like some fresh air would do you good. There’s nothing like a ride to get you out of your head and into the moment, you know?” Jean considered that for a minute. “Thank you.”

Jean waited until he was out of earshot. “I don’t understand.” “Trust us,” Jeremy said tiredly. “Neither do we.”

Jean vs the Trojans, a summary

The monster shows up and it was a mess and Jean has never had a break, literally never

Which was extremely literal bc Lucas wanted to talk and then Neil shows up

I need a separate post for the last pages bc I started this 24 h ago and I want to do it justice. So part 2 coming.

Edit: I misspelled Jean's surname *facepalms and goes to hide*

[b3hind-th3-sea]

So maybe some of the foxes jokingly gave Kevin a Trojan’s jersey for Christmas.

And maybe he didn’t exactly “throw it away” like he said he would.

And maybe, somehow, probably by sheer coincidence, it ended up stored under his pillow.

And just maybe Kevin Day is a little bit obsessed with Jeremy Knox.