#kevin/the flamethrower

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites in: Ultra Opposites: “Lost Memories” (for @avaveevo)

One fine day, in a courtroom…

Custody Judge: What is your hearing of this?

Sonya: My new dads’ actions have been positive ma’am. They know my allergies, know what kind of classes I take, the schedules I usually have and my favorite things

Custody Judge: Very well.

Once the Custody Judge slams her gavel, Sonya arrives back home after the taxi ride and in joy runs inside where her family is waiting for.

Korvo: So…

Terry: How did it go?

Sonya cries with happiness.

Sonya: I’m officially an Solar-Opposites

The others gasp. The Pupa faints.

Korvo: Oh joy! This is a great occasion! Solars, we have a new addition to the family!

AISHA: Alright! I wonder where Nova is… were you about to meet her?

Korvo: Oh why yes. I wonder where she is…

Meanwhile with Nova, at her apartment she was waiting for Sherbet, who just came in.

Sherbet: Hey Nova. I heard you wanted to see me. Is everything okay?

Nova: Sherbet… I know about what happened to your parents… Sherbet gets stunned in silence and I am so sorry… that you have lost everything…

Sherbet starts crying.

Nova: soothes Sherbet’s face But don’t worry. You’re not gonna be alone anymore… because… I’m gonna take care of you.

Sherbet is confused.

Sherbet: What do you mean?

Nova smiles.

Nova: Sherbet, I’m gonna adopt you. You were one of the kindest people I ever met.

Sherbet is surprised.

Nova: Now is time for to return the favor.

Sherbet: But… I thought you gave up on that when Halk died…

Nova wipes away a tear.

Nova: I know. But you deserve a family Sherbet, and I love to start one right now, with you. As my daughter. You are not gonna be alone anymore Sherbet, because I love you.

Sherbet smiles and hugs Nova.

Sherbet: Thank you Nova…

Nova cries with happiness. Later back at the Solars… in the Replicants’ room, Yumyulack was cleaning up, while listening to Jesse McCartney’s “Because You Live”:

Yumyulack: God damn it! Now I gotta deal with the fact that I am now living with two sisters. No wait! Three since it counts Pupa’s human form is a girl!

EVA: What are you complaining about?

AISHA: Yeah. You already know Sonya. She is the sweetest person we ever met. So did you and you like her. So come on, turn that frown upside down honey.

Yumyulack groans in frustration.

Yumyulack: What about Korvo? He hasn’t seen his sister in years!

EVA: I know. And he was heartbroken and so was she. These two love each other no matter what and cheer up Yumyulack. You known Sonya since you got her and become your friend. Chin up

Yumyulack blushes and smiles.

Yumyulack: I guess that’s true.

Sonya then comes in with Jesse while putting her stuff on her new bed.

Sonya: Thanks for lending me your room guys.

Jesse: Anytime, sis.

Yumyulack: Yeah. Good to have ya here, sis. Sorry for venting a little, it’s just you know…

Sonya: Yeah. I know

Sonya hugs Yumyulack. Yumyulack blushes as he smiles and pats Sonya’s head.

Jesse: Welcome to your new home Sonya and besides what’s the worse that can-

Suddenly, the Ultra Opposites alarm goes off.

Yumyulack/Psylock: Oh shit!

AISHA: EMERGENCY MEETING, PEOPLE!

Korvo and Terry: On it!

Yumyulack and Jesse: On it!

Sonya: What’s-

Korvo: Sonya! Stay with Aisha and Eva! We’ll be right back!

Sonya sighs and smiles.

Sonya: One day… I’m gonna get my chance!

Terry kisses Sonya on the forehead. Later at the HQ, all the Ultra Opposites meet up.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Okay, we’re all here! What’s the emergency?!

AISHA: You guys are not gonna like it but…

EVA shows something on the screen.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: No way….

Terry/Solar Flare: Dr. Brian?!

Yumyulack/Psylock: What is he upto?!

AISHA: He made a memory eraser device!

Ultra Opposites: What?! Oh no! Oh fuck! We gotta be careful! That self-centered jerkface!

Legendary Super Shlorpian growls.

EVA: If he hits anyone, someone could get hurt. They can even lose his memory.

Janiz/Lady Super Shlorpian: Oh no… does he know about Sonya?

EVA: Who knows?!

Terry/Solar Flare: Aw man, Korvo! He can’t know about Sonya! He could use something bad to her!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: I’ll stop him.

Cherie/Agent Red: So will we our friend!

Montez/The Master: Hey, where’s Nova?

Solar Flare shrugs. Then, Lady Roseus and Violet came with Violet holding Lady Roseus like a mother and daughter would do.

Montez/The Master: You came!

Cherie/Agent Red: What happened?

Pezlie/La Oscuridad: Violet!

Nova/Lady Roseus: I have some exciting news!

Sherbet/Violet: I have a family now!

Jesse/Electra: Oooh! Really?!

Yumyulack/Psylock: Who?

Sherbet/Violet: Guys! Nova adopted me! I’m not alone anymore!

Everyone gasps. Except for Legendary Super Shlorpian who is still growling at the screen.

Nova/Lady Roseus: It’s true. Look, I know I gave up on having a child when Halk sacrifice himself to save us, but being with Sherbet has made rebuild my chances. So, she is now my daughter.

Electra bawls with happiness.

Jesse/Electra: The love between a mother and daughter always bring me to tears! crying

Psylock rolls his eyes.

Daryl/Dark Matter: Congrats Sherbet!

Legendary Super Shlorpian snaps.

Sherbet/Violet: Thanks guys and… notices Legendary Super Shlorpian growling at the screen L.S.S.? Are you okay?

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: I WON’T LET THIS FUCKING PRICK HURT SONYA!

Legendary Super Shlorpian transforms into his Super Shlorpian form and flies through the ceiling.

Terry/Solar Flare: Shit! We better follow him!

Meanwhile with Dr. Brain.

Dr. Brian: Yes! This will definitely destroy the pathetic heroes once and for all! Now to wait until the Legendary Super Shlorpian comes with his friends and pathetic husband!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: HEY!

Dr. Brian: Oh… hello son. Heard about my new plan?

Super Shlorpian Legendary Super Shlorpian growls.

Dr. Brian: Well, be prepare because I’m about to fire my laser at the city! And there is nothing you can do can do to stop me!

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Watch me!

Back with Sonya.

Sonya: humming

Suddenly, an magenta orb crystal appears inspired by this clip:

Sonya: Hmm?

Sonya sees the orb crystal piece glowing as she gasp.

Sonya: Weird…

Then, the orb piece crashes through the window as she gasp.

Sonya: I didn’t do it!

Sonya then notice the crystal floating towards her, she touches it with a finger tip and suddenly, Sonya starts floating

Sonya: Woah.

Sonya then falls as do the crystal. Sonya looks at the orb piece.

Sonya: No way….

The orb piece then merges with Sonya as she gasp. Sonya then starts to fly as she giggles.

Sonya: Whoa.

Sonya then sees her bed and suddenly, she lifts it with only one hand. Sonya has developed super strength and flight! Sonya gasps.

Sonya: Looks this smallest kid, just become the stronger!

Sonya twirls the bed around with her strength and then place it down on the floor.

Sonya: Let’s see what I can really do!

Sonya then flies off to find Legendary Super Shlorpian to tell him the news, and then sees him confronting Dr. Brian. Super Shlorpian Legendary Super Shlorpian gasps as he sees Sonya.

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Sonya? You’re flying?!

Sonya: KORVO! KORVO! GUESS WHAT?! I AM STRONG AND I CAN FLY! ISN’T IT AMAZING?!

Dr. Brian: What the?! Who is this fucking human runt?!

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Sonya! I am so-

Suddenly, Sonya gasp upon seeing the laser. Legendary Super Shlorpian gasp and shields Sonya as he gets hit in the head with it as she gasp in horror.

Sonya: Oh no! Daddy!

The other Ultra Opposites appear.

Dr. Brian: What the fu… did that pest called Korvo daddy?!

Terry/Solar Flare: Hell yeah she did!

Jesse/Electra: She’s our new sister you bitch!

Yumyulack/Psylock: Yeah! That’s right!

Dr. Brain laughs.

Dr. Brain: No way? This human runt is your new replicant?! laughs evilly It’s too late! Legendary Super Shlorpian has been hit with the ray!

Solar Flare gasps.

Nova/Lady Roseus: No!

Yumyulack/Psylock and Jesse/Electra: Korvo!

Dr. Brain disappears or while laughing evilly.

Sonya: Korvo… are you okay…

Legendary Super Shlorpian turns back to his normal Shlorpian self as he looks around the room.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Where am I? Who are you?

Sonya gasp as tears run down her eyes.

Terry/Solar Flare: gasp Oh no! My Korvy!

Jesse/Electra: Is Korvo…

Yumyulack/Psylock: …Gone?

Solar Flare starts sobbing as he hugs Legendary Super Shlorpian.

Cherie/Agent Red: No… he can’t be..

The rest of the Ultra Opposites looks down for a moment of silence. At sunset, Sonya was looking down sadly at a photo of her and her new family on the day of her adoption while Psylock and Electra comes up to her.

Yumyulack/Psylock: Sonya?

Jesse/Electra: You okay sis?

Sonya: I can’t believe I got Korvo to lose his memories… and it’s all my fault.

Yumyulack/Psylock: It wasn’t your fault. We should’ve been there for you on time.

Jesse/Electra: Besides, this couldn’t happen to any one of us.

Sonya: But it didn’t. It happen to Korvo…

Sonya then sighs sadly.

Yumyulack/Psylock: What’s wrong?

Sonya: When I was a little girl, I was always the smallest kid in every school I go to growing up. I felt like I was the runt of the litter. You know what that means?

Jesse/Electra: Like the smallest one?

Sonya: The smallest and the weakest.

As Sonya looks down, her flashback plays, it shows a montage of her as a little girl in kindergarten as she runs up to her classmates when it was snack time. Song for this flashback:

Sonya: voiceover It’s not easy being the smallest. You learn pretty early on that everything’s gonna be harder for you.

Young Sonya however missed her chance when all the snacks are gone, only a juice box as she sadly takes it. She then tries to make friends, but they ignore.

Sonya: voiceover When you’re the smallest, you’re always left out and sometimes you’re never feel like like yourself.

Sonya’s parents then pick her up. Then, it flash forwards to her on her first day at high school when she saw Jesse and Yumyulack.

Sonya: voiceover Then you guys came and I had no idea if you’d be perfect enough. But, you stood up for me and made feel like I belong when you saved me.

Sonya then looks at the kids making fun of Jesse and Yumyulack and starts to feel sorry for them. Then, it shows the sad flashback of her seeing parents getting deported back to their home country as she gasp sadly and watch as they drive off by the deportation officers as she starts crying.

Sonya: voiceover That’s when I started to lose hope, until you guys adopted me and took me in..l finally had a new family…

The flashback ends as Sonya looks down sadly while Psylock and Electra hugs her.

Sonya: Korvo shouldn’t have been in this mess if it weren’t for me. I’m not even a superhero. And if I was, I feel like I wouldn’t be with the Ultra Opposites.

Jesse/Electra: We had no idea. But that’s not true. We want you.

Yumyulack/Psylock: You’re our sister. You already are strong enough….

Sonya smiles but then looks down with determination as she grasp her hands in courage.

Sonya: When Korvo and Terry adopted me, I felt like I wasn’t the smallest and the weakest.

Sonya then looks up at the sky in determination as she knew what she must do now.

Sonya: And I do anything to get my dad’s memories back!

The night, Sonya looks at her siblings sleeping.

Sonya: whispering I’ll be back soon guys…

Sonya flies out the window. Later, Dr. Brian is activating some kind of other ray towards the night sky.

Dr. Brain: Soon enough, everyone’s memories will be erased and Earth will be MINE!

Sonya: Not so fast!

Dr. Brian then aims his new ray at the meteors at the sky.

Dr. Brain: You again?!

Sonya: What are you doing with those meteors?!

Dr. Brain: I’m using them to destroy the world!

Sonya: What?! You monster! You give me back my dad’s memories right now!

Dr. Brain: Make me!

Dr. Brian uses a force field that traps Sonya and throws her to a strength-proof cage as she growls. Back at the Solars’ house…

Jesse: TERRY! TERRY!

Terry is busy showing Korvo the photo album to help him remember and then sees the worried looks on Yumyulack and Jesse’s faces.

Terry: Hopefully this works.

Yumyulack: Terry! Sonya’s gone!

Terry: WHAT?!

Later, the rest of the Ultra Opposites meet up and Terry tries contacting Sonya on the screen for her phone.

Terry: Sonya? Can you hear me? no answer Sonya?! Speak to me!

Sonya: Terry?! I’m trapped! Dr. Brain’s got me!

Cherie: What?!

Sherbet: Oh my God! Hang on!

Montez: We’re coming Sonya?!

Korvo: Sonya? trying to remember I heard of her before…

Terry groans in frustration.

Terry: Hang in there Korvy! We’re gonna get your memories back once and for all!

Jesse: Yeah! Just stay here!

Korvo: Oh um… okay…

Back with Sonya and Dr. Brain…

Sonya: Why are you doing this? How did you know about Korvo?

Dr. Brain: Because he is my son!

Sonya: What?!

Dr. Brain: It’s true! I’ve always hated that pest and his sister! Because, their mother love them more, so I killed her when they were little and left those brats alone to die! But, they somehow survived!

Sonya struggles to comprehend the situation.

Sonya: Y-you’re not their father…. You’re a murder!

Dr. Brain slaps Sonya. Sonya gasp as tears fall down. Then, she heard a roar. It’s Mundane Solar Flare!

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER, YOU FUCKER!

Dr. Brain gasps and growls. The rest of the Ultra Opposites arrive and gets into a heroic team stance.

Jesse/Electra: Release our sister you motherfucker!

Sonya gasps with happiness.

Yumyulack/Psylock: Hang in there Sonya! turns into his super Shlorpian and roars as he rips his suit into pieces

Dark Matter blushes.

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: Let’s kick ass!

Ultra Opposites: YEAH!

Back with Korvo, he is looking around until he sees a photo of him and his family.

Korvo: Aw Terry…

Korvo suddenly gets his memories back!

Korvo: gasp Now I know who I a really am….

Korvo turns into his superhero form and into his Super Shlorpian form.

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: I AM KORVO SOLAR-OPPOSITES, ALSO KNOWN AS…. THE LEGENDARY SUPER SHLORPIAN!

Super Shlorpian Legendary Super Shlorpian laughs and twirls around.

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: shedding tears of joy Now to go help my family and friends!

Meanwhile with the Ultra Opposites…

Jamie/Firey: Go for it honey!

Miss Darcina grows muscular.

Miss Darcina: Eat this! punches Dr. Brian

Then Shine Light shoots Brain with her lantern powers while Shout Out screams Brain away. The two girlfriend then kiss. Later, Master uses brain waves to blast him away. But then, Dr. Brain punches him. Before, Brian could do something to him…

Cherie/Agent Red: STOP TRYING TO KILL MY MAN!

Dr. Brain: Ooh, I’m so scared.

Agent Red uses her powerful ninja kick while La Oscuridad uses her painful tears to burn Dr. Brian as he screams.

Dr. Brain: ENOUGH!

Dr. Brain made a powerful blast that knocked everyone over until…

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: offscreen TERRY!

Suddenly “This Is Me” by Kesha starts playing:

Super Shlorpian Legendary Super Shlorpian lands on his feet as he growls and the others gasp in joy.

Sonya: Daddy?

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: Korvo? I thought I told you-

Suddenly, Super Shlorpian Korvo kiss Mundane Solar Flare on the lips. Mundane Solar Flare starts moaning.

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Hello my darling…

Mundane Solar Flare realizes something.

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: You-you remember me?

Super Shlorpian Legendary Super Shlorpian nods with happy tears in his eyes.

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: crying with happiness KORVY! pummels on him and gives a kiss as the two husbands moan

Dr. Brain: UGH! That is disgusting! What do you see in that guy?!

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: What I see in him? A brave beautiful smart kind devoted leader who does everything right and does everything to protect the ones he love! That’s what my Korvy is!

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Aw, Terry…

The two superhero husbands kiss while the others get touched by this.

Ultra Opposites: Aaaawww!

Super Cooke cries a little.

Sonya: offscreen Korvo! Get me outta here!

Super Shlorpian Legendary Super Shlorpian gasps

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Oh no! Sonya! Give me back my daughter you bitch!

Dr. Brain snarls. Then Sonya gasp as she sees a monkey wrench. She uses her necklace and grabs a rock and makes a slingshot as it hits the wrench and she gets it while unlocking the strength proof cage as she giggles. Sonya then flies to Psylock and Electra and hugs them while the other Ultra Opposites gasp in surprise over what Sonya has now, super strength and flight.

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: Sonya has POWERS?!

Yumyulack/Psylock: No way! That is so awesome!

Jesse/Electra: Yay! My new sister has powers!

Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: GUYS! FOCUS!

Ultra Opposites: Oh right! Got it! We can celebrate later!

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Cooke: Right! Super Cooke, fucking laser that machine!

Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: FUCK YEAH!

Super Cooke uses his laser eyes and destroys the mind erasing machine while the other Ultra Opposites cheer. Shadow Lady kisses Super Cooke as they moan. Electra and Psylock groan in disgust.

Dr. Brain: Nooo! suddenly hears a beeping as he grins evilly Well, it’s too late now! The meteors are heading towards your pathetic planet!

Ultra Opposites: What?! Oh no?! What do we do now?! We have to get everyone to safety!

Super Shlorpian Legendary Super Shlorpian turns to Mundane Solar Flare.

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Honey… I know who can stop them.

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: Who?

Super Shlorpian Legendary Super Shlorpian smiles as he turns towards Sonya. Sonya looks confused.

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Sonya. It’s time. While we get everyone to evacuate, you can finally use your powers to destroy the meteorites!

Sonya: Wh-what?! Me? But, I’m just a kid!

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: A brave wonderful kid. You were always supporting us and know it’s time for you to shine! You were very brave when standing up to Brain! That’s what a true hero means!

Sonya: You believe in me… even after everything that has happened lately?

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Of course I do. You’re my daughter and I love you. So what do you say?

Sonya looks at the Ultra Opposites. Then, she looks up at the sky with courage in her eyes and flies up there. Super Shlorpian Legendary Super Shlorpian then looks at Brain.

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Nobody messes with my family…

Dr. Brain growls. Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian then freezes Dr. Brain with his ice breath as he screams. The other Ultra Opposites cheer for him and heads off to evacuate everyone to safety. Back with Sonya, she sees the meteors as she gasp but grows determined as her fist glow magenta

Sonya: No job is too small!

One by one Sonya punches the meteors with one fist. Then, the other Ultra Opposites made it to the city to get everyone to evacuate.

Cherie/Agent Red: Everyone! There’s meteors heading straight towards us! Evacuate immediately!

Kevin/The Flamethrower: Everyone out now!

Terry/Solar Flare: Hurry! Bring anything that is necessary! Like a pop tart or something!

Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: Whuh?

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Terry…

Super Shlorpian Legenedary Super Shlorpian shook his head while smiling. Then he looks up at the sky.

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Come on Sonya…

Sonya then manage to destroy the meteorites as she giggles.

Sonya: I think that’s the last of them.

The Ultra Opposites cheered until Lady Super Shlorpian senses something big as her eyes widened.

Janiz/Lady Super Shlorpian: That is the biggest fucking meteor I have ever seen.

Sonya grow confused by what her aunt says but looks up and gasp.

Yumyulack/Psylock: Sonya! You have to get out of here!

Sonya: I can’t do that guys! I have to try!

Jesse/Electra: Please Sonya! That fucking meteor is too big!

Super Shlorpian/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Are you crazy? You could-

Suddenly Super Shlorpian Legendary Super Shlorpian then realized what Sonya is about to do once he sees a magenta glow surrounding Sonya’s body. Sonya looks at her hands and makes a brave decision…

Sonya: Okay. Let’s fucking go.

Sonya flies towards the meteor. Then, as she glows brighter than ever, she finally receives her own super suit as the others gasp in joy.

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: That’s my girl…

Miss Frankie/Shadow Lady: What’s happening?!

Sonya: No job is too small!

As Sonya keeps flying she keeps flashing back to happy memories with the Ultra Opposites as she gets more courageous.

Sonya/???: NO JOB IS TOO SMALL!

Sonya punches the meteor. As the Ultra Opposites watch it explode, they gasp and then sees Sonya, or whoever she is now, okay as she flies into the ocean. Sonya smiles in joy as she flies through the reef and then flies up to the surface where the others meet up with her and gasp in joy.

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: Holy shit. Korvo, is she…?

Super Shlorpian Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Yes she is.

Jesse/Electra: No way? Sonya?!

Sonya hugs Super Shlorpian Legendary Super Shlorpian.

Sonya/???: It’s Soarin’ Girl now!

Soarin’ Girl does a superhero stance

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: We’re so proud of you sweetheart! Super Shlorpian Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: That was the bravest thing I have ever seen. Welcome to the Ultra Opposites, Soarin’ Girl!

Soarin’ Girl smiles.

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: hugs Super Shlorpian L.S.S. and Mundane Solar Flare Thanks dads

The crowd then came and cheer for Soarin’ Girl as she smiles.

Jesse/Electra: Let’s hear it for my little sister, Soarin’ Girl!

Crowd: chanting Soarin’ Girl! Soarin’ Girl!

Everyone cheers.

Three days later… The news play while the Solars, now with Sonya, watch it.

News Reporter: Once again the world is saved! Thanks to the Ultra Opposites and the newest addition of the family, Soarin’ Girl! Now back to you Jackie!

Jesse: I am so glad things are back to normal.

Yumyulack: Me too.

Terry: And it’s good to have you back Korvy!

Terry seduces Korvo.

Korvo: Aw! seducing Terry So, you wanna go for another round right now?

Terry: Oh yes. Fuck me you stud!

The two alien husbands then started to have sex while the children see what is happening now and heads outside.

Jesse: Phew that was close. closes the door

Sonya: Thanks for believing in me guys. I am so glad you guys adopted me.

Yumyulack: Of course you’re our sister. Us sibling stick together.

Yumyulack smiles and hugs Sonya.

Sonya: Thanks guys.

As the siblings hug, Jesse suddenly hears Korvo’s moaning getting louder as she groans in disgust.

Jesse: You guys wanna go for a walk?

Yumyulack: Yeah. Oh, but first…

Korvo: offscreen OH TERRY!

Yumyulack, Jesse and Pupa then transforms into their human disguises as Sonya gasp in surprise.

Sonya: Whoa. I didn’t know you guys can do that!

Human Yumyulack, Human Jesse and Human Pupa gasp.

Human Jesse: Oh shit. We forget to tell her.

Sonya: Wait a minute? You guys are the Opposites? Well, that explains a lot.

Human Pupa: Oh the humanity!

Sonya giggles as she tickles Human Pupa.

Sonya: So that means… Yumyulack is Baxter Cool?!

Yumyulack gulps.

Human Yumyulack: Uh, sorry we didn’t tell you sooner. We had to use these human disguises for new civilian identities because of our new lives as heroes. We didn’t even have a choice.

Sonya giggles. Sonya then hugs her siblings as they smile.

Sonya: It’s okay I understand why you guys were doing all of this.

Human Pupa: Sibling hug!

Human Jesse smiles and returns the hug. Human Yumyulack, Human Jesse, Human Pupa and Sonya laughs. Then it cuts to Terry and Korvo sleeping on the couch naked. They then wake up and kiss on the lips. Then, they see their kids outside.

Korvo: Hmm… better get on our disguises.

Terry: Good idea. It’s human time baby!

Meanwhile with the kids… after turning into their human forms, Terry and Korvo walk out the door and towards them.

Human Terry: Hey guys. What’s up?

Sonya: Hey Terry. Hey Korvo.

Human Korvo and Human Terry: Wait? What?!

Human Terry: You know who we are? looks at Human Yumyulack and Human Jesse annoyed Kids?

Human Korvo scowls at Human Yumyulack.

Sonya: It’s okay. I easily figured it on my own.

Human Terry: Huh?

Human Korvo: realizing something as he facepalms Terry, our voices.

Human Terry: Oh yeah. Oh… Wait. Sonya, you did figure it out? Oh.

Human Jesse: So what happens now?

Human Korvo: Well family, shall we go for a family walk and get froyo later?

Kids: Yeah!

Sonya: Sweet I am so gonna put hot fudge on mine!

Human Yumyulack: Ooh! I wanna do Oreos!

Human Jesse: I want M&M’s!

Human Pupa: Gummy bears!

Human Terry laughs. As the family walk on, the camera then pans up to the sunset sky as it cuts to black.

The End

[leroiestmortvivelareine]

Andrew’s most endearing moments

(for no better reason than I really love Andrew)

The light-enough-to-give-goosebumps touch on Neil’s back after the Kathy Ferdinand interview. No strategy… just thinking nice thoughts about Neil.

(Plus there must have been a moment when Andrew stopped struggling against his teammates and just stared in awe, at Neil snarling “Get away from her you BITCH!!” while advancing on Riko with a flamethrower.)

Returning instantly to the bed after letting Abby into the motel room to finish stitching Neil up. Instantly. As though something might happen to Neil in the few seconds he was out of reach, and he couldn’t wait to get back on station.

Turning his ice cream pint round and round in his hands just before Neil asks about kissing him. It’s such a little kid thing to do: warming up ice cream with pudgy hands so it goes all melty. Maybe concentrating on it with particular focus so he doesn’t think too hard about why Neil just locked the front door.

Lighting a cigarette then stubbing it out almost immediately and lighting another one on the roof after telling Neil to say no, due to near-Jeremy levels of flusterment.

The raw unvarnished begging of: ‘What would it take to make you stay?’ / ‘Name it and it’s yours’. (Dress it up as Kevin-related all you want but you meant every word.)

Standing against the door of the car so Neil’s body would squash against his. Did Andrew sense, that night at the club, how hard Neil fell for the idea of having someone solid and unmoving to lean on? He must have. Neil would have looked like a dying man finding an oasis. Andrew must have seen it. He would have known exactly what Neil needed when they reunited.

[billdenbrough]

did a flash fic challenge today & the character i received from the spin2win was kevin. @merceyca prompted “plexiglass” & immediately after that, @vykio prompted “haunted house”, because they love to make life easy for me LMFAO. predictably with this setup, this is kevaaron. so.

kevaaron + haunted house, plexiglass

“This was a terrible idea,” Kevin mutters.

Andrew obviously hears him, but predictably ignores him, instead choosing to poke experimentally at the cleaver hanging from the ceiling. Renee, at his side, gently lowers his arm.

Matt is sandwiched between Dan and Neil, a bit ahead of Andrew. Allison and Nicky seem to be competing to find the ‘hottest corpse’.

Aaron, bringing up the rear with Kevin, slants him a sidelong glance. “Because those two are three seconds from being sent to a sexual harassment seminar or because you’re worried Andrew will try steal a machete from one of the actors?” he asks dryly.

“They’re not sharp enough,” Andrew says blandly. Renee shoots Kevin an apologetic look over her shoulder—he’s not really sure why; or rather, the only answer that comes to mind is at risk of making him flush, so he beats it back with a stick—and loops her arm with Andrew’s, leading him further out of earshot. Andrew allows it.

When Kevin looks back at Aaron, he’s tilting his head.

“Or something else?” Aaron asks.

Kevin weighs up his options. Discovering no good ones, he grumbles, “I think I saw a clown chasing a toddler with a flamethrower.”

Aaron snorts. “The great Kevin Day,” he says. His tone is mocking, but like – in that Aaron way. Kevin doesn’t really know how to explain it. There’s mocking when Aaron means it, how he used to talk to Neil and the scathing tone he turns on the especially annoying freshmen on the line-up, and then there’s like this: that natural tilt to his voice, something blunt and sarcastic, but no force behind it.

Kevin’s seen what it looks like, after all, when Aaron puts his strength into it.

He’s about to huff—something waspish about haunted houses and horror films and the Foxes’ inexplicable idea of what constitutes ‘fun’—when Aaron shifts closer, the sudden flush of body heat emanating off him stealing the words from Kevin’s mouth.

Aaron doesn’t seem concerned with saying anything, so Kevin doesn’t either, just shifts his weight on his next step to move closer to Aaron, now that he’s allowed. Their shoulders brush. Kevin thinks again about Renee’s apologetic expression, and almost bites off his own tongue.

It’s two rooms later—after Matt had to pull Nicky back from peering into a coffin before a guillotine descended on him, and Dan swore loudly at a fortune-teller who appeared suddenly at her side and kept ominously intoning her name while Allison told Neil, yeah, so that’s why you never say anyone’s name in one of these things—that Kevin finally says, “It’s dark.”

Aaron opens his mouth. Pauses. Shuts it. Hums.

Kevin thinks he’s going to have to say more. Explain himself. Talk about claustrophobic spaces, stuck in the dark, threats of violence.

Then Aaron takes his hand, holding it tight, and it’s like the air goes out of Kevin’s lungs.

He thinks about the car ride over, when Aaron and Nicky debated which horror movie to watch later that night. Nicky had been texting the other car at the time, chiming in with suggestions from the upperclassmen, most of which Aaron had shot down. His knee had kept bouncing, the way it did when he was animated, or irritated, or annoyed, or over-tired, or restless, or a thousand other things that Aaron sometimes was, that Kevin sometimes noticed. He’d wanted to reach out and still Aaron’s leg. He hadn’t.

He thinks about a week ago at Eden’s, downing seven shots as he sat at the table, ignoring whatever the fuck Neil and Andrew were doing as he watched Aaron—fucking wasted—tilt his head back on the dance floor, the lights illuminating the line of his throat. He thinks about an hour before they left for Eden’s that same night, arguing with Aaron about something that didn’t really matter, until it did, and he was pressing Aaron against the plexiglass of the court walls, snapping at him, and then kissing him, and kissing him, and kissing him. He thinks about Aaron—pinned halfway up the wall, Kevin raising him up for a better angle, Aaron’s hand leaving an imprint on the plexiglass—kissing him back.

He thinks about a month before that, on the bus on their way back from a game against Belmonte, Aaron sitting beside him and—with a long-suffering sigh—offering one of his earbuds to Kevin. It hadn’t been music Kevin knew, which Kevin had said, to which Aaron had scoffed, and said, You don’t know anything that came out after the 1800s, which was rude, but possibly fair. Still, Kevin had argued the point, and Aaron had objected to each of his statements, and somehow they’d ended up spending the entire journey going through Aaron’s playlists while they tried to—in Aaron’s words—find ‘an actual music taste’ for Kevin.

Kevin thinks about all of these things, and about Renee’s apology, and about Aaron’s hand in his, and about Aaron shifting closer, and Aaron’s sidelong glance, and he swallows.

A clown could try murder him right now, he thinks, and he might not even notice.

Slowly, he squeezes Aaron’s hand: smaller than his, but firm, unwavering.

After a moment, Aaron squeezes back.

[the-spooky-children]

I’ve kicked down your tumblr door and invaded your void to hear more about your spooky month/sam and max au

I’ll give you a potato, bread or any form of starch and carbs you want in return

Okay so

(this is based on me watching the show and playing the Telltale games, haven't been able to find much stuff on the comics unfortunately)

Skid and Pump are now adults and have managed to stay best friends through their whole childhood and adulthood, they wanna help the town out but don't want to be full on cops, so John's like ok you can be freelance police or something whatever (part of the reason they managed to get this role because John knows a bit about Skid's familial connections to the cult)

They still go by their childhood nicknames of Skid and Pump because they feel more emotionally connected to those names than their legal names (Skid is also trans so his legal name is bleh to him)

They have an apartment together on the outskirts of town and no one is really 100% sure what their relationship is, all everyone knows is that they've gotten married at least 5 separate times, but for all they know that could just be for the shootouts

Skid loves shooting giant guns (and not ever hitting the desired target) and Pump's flamethrower is his second best friend

Pump grew to be actually kinda of tall, and is still fat, Skid is a beanpole

They're very very very close friends but if that phone goes then the more than willing to stomp each other's faces into the concrete

They still bother Kevin alot but in a different way to when they were kids, they go around to his new store, Kevin's Inconvenience, and listen to his ramblings after their shenanigans drove him partially insane over the years, and buying his shitily made weapons for like $1 billion (which they end up paying in counterfeit cash or tokens)

The Hatzgang also all live together, and they sometimes team up with the spookies when a job seems too much of a handful for only two people

Skid ends up getting psychic powers (partially caused by his dad being an eldritch demon) and I'm sure you can guess where that went if you've played 305

Might add more later lol

[asheurbanipal]

When it talks to you like you don't belong Ch. 2

on A03

Previous Episode | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Summary:

With a venomized Wade stuck with a multiversal interloper, the next goal is to find the ultimate host: Spider-Man. But what if there is no Spider-Man? Merely...Peter Parker. In a multi-verse of choices, what actually matters? Who's left standing when one of those big moments goes by?

Deadpool/Wolverine/Venom with special guest: Peter Parker!

Other important characters: Gwen Stacey, Morph/Kevin Sidney (mention)

Explicit

Words: ~7k

Chapter 2/3 in series

Content: possession, alien invasion multiverse shit, deep cut Venom lore because I'm an Advanced Comic Reader, anal sex, oral sex, dubious sexual consent, extensive talk of death

 "So you have a Peter Parker."

"I guess? If Logie says we do. I never bothered to check."

"But you don't have a Spider-Man."

"Unfortunately. 

"But you…know…about Spider-Man. Can you put that all together for me?"

"Oh, it's really stupid. You're going to hate it." Wade gave Venom's tiny little head a pat. They were currently manifesting as a little tadpole creature on Wade's forearm at Logan's insistence.

It was bad enough that another mind was living in Wade's brain. He could barely manage his own consciousness. He didn't need a whole-ass alien being living inside him. If Venom ever overtook him completely they'd all be fucked. Symbiotes were already almost indestructible, but if you threatened their current or preferred host with significant enough bodily harm, they'd at least pull back to heal. What would they be capable of if their host could auto-heal? What leverage was left? He was putting a lot of trust in Venom not being a totally bad dude. 

Logan had strongly requested that Venom remain manifested. It didn't really do anything, necessarily, to modulate their power, but having the enemy visible made him feel better. He knocked before leading Wade into Hank's lab.

"Ro, Scott. Are you still here?"

"Well, you walked off with a flamethrower, I'm not--holy shit." Scott had stood with the intent to be indignant then all the fight fell out of him. Storm was also lifting from her stool, moving up slowly to the projection from Wade's arms. Hank stayed back observing from a distance, stuck with a little with actual fear. Whatever he'd seen under the microscope must have spooked him.

"Ah," Storm raised back to her full height but kept her eyes on the symbiote. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Storm."

"Likewise. I'm Venom, for lack of a better name." 

"Very polite," Storm noted. 

"I'm super aware of the fact that you can zap me to death, so I'd prefer to stay on your good side in my current condition."

"Oh, I think I might like this alien. They're smart." Storm nodded her approval. 

"What do you mean, 'current condition.'" Scott was inching closer. Venom growled and clicked. 

"I'm not full strength. Multiverse travel takes it out of you and my current host isn't exactly…stable." Venom tilted up at Wade with a squint of their eyes. 

"Sorry for the cancer/ADHD double-hit combo, little buddy." Wade patted them again. 

"May I also touch you?" Storm asked.

"Uh, sure?" Venom moved their prominence up Wade's arm to his shoulder to allow Storm better access. Like petting a bird, she ran two fingers over the top of the symbiote's head. "Fascinating texture. Thank you."

"No problem."

"I'm having a super hard time processing all this," Scott said quietly. 

"Yeah, it takes a minute." Logan half-threw down the flamethrower. "How do I get in contact with Peter Parker?"

"I…who?" The lines between Scott's eyebrows furrowed deeper.

"Fucking…" Logan dropped into the stool that hadn't moved from before. "My timeline, we've got a guy named Spider-Man…he's a...spider…man. And according to Wade--"

"--there's a few hot little numbers copying me in at least a few other timelines. Got a glimpse of one at Avengers headquarters who was way too young, so I only looked respectfully at the potential."

"The…Avengers?" Storm asked.

"Doesn't matter." Logan waved her off, then immediately gestured an apology for dismissing her. "His real name is Peter Parker. And when I was dragged over to this timeline, I looked up some of the bigger players from mine. I don't know why he never became Spider-Man, but your Peter Parker is the big fancy CEO of a big fancy aerospace and bio-med company."

"Wait, Dr. Parker? Of Parker Industries?" Hank finally crawled down from his chair. "We've made a casual acquaintance."

"So you can contact him?" Logan asked.

"I could maybe get a hold of a secretary possibly…" Hank demurred. 

"You're telling me some guy is walking around with super powers and you guys never contacted him? You never found out and tracked him down?" Logan clicked the heels of his boots on the tiled floor. 

"If he never became Spider-Guy, maybe he never got powers?" Scott said. 

"Unlikely," Venom said slowly. Every eye snapped to them. "All the versions of you from my reality have roughly the same powers. Wade, can I show you something really quick in your mind?"

"Uhhhh. Sure." Wade stared forward for half a moment, then snapped back. "Oh, yeah, if that's your Spider-Man, that's the same suit I saw coming out of the tower. Only yours has a fantastic ass. What the fuck?"

"Oh, it's immaculate." 

"Can we not?" Logan snapped. It was one thing when Wade vaguely commented on real-life attractive bodies. That was something they could at least both enjoy then fuck it out later. The image of some inter-dimensional ass imprinted as an image in Wade's brain felt…different. Weird and different. 

Wade pouted at him, and Venom made an eyerolling motion with their eyespots. 

"If you guys can't get a hold of him, we'll do it the old-fashioned way." Logan got up from his stool. Time to stalk a CEO.

#####

It's really nice through here. We didn't come upstate very often when we lived in New York.

Oh, yeah, I really like the sort of tree thing they've got going. Yet you're still in civilization. There's this IHOP we stop at sometimes going into or coming back from the city. 

Which, by the way, did I feed you enough this morning? For breakfast? Considering there were no brains on the menu…

That's sweet of you to ask, honey. Enough cheese and chocolate, and I'll be fine.

Oh good. Good. I don't think I can get away with eating that kind of head. 

"Wade, you've been quiet. I get nervous when you're quiet." Logan reached across the console to squeeze his thigh. Before getting on the road, the symbiote had dolled him up in jeans and a t-shirt. They weren't like regular clothes, though. Everything he touched or touched him had a thick barrier around it. Even Logan's fingers creeping up to his no-no bits felt distant. 

Yet you're always telling me to shut up. 

Fucking hypocrite. You don't have to put up with that.

I keep forgetting you can hear my inner monologue. 

Would you like me to not respond when you're talking to yourself? It's harder to tell the difference with you, not gonna lie.

No, it's fine. I'll just need to get used to it. 

"Wade?"

"Talking to the alien in my brain, jelly bean." Wade rested his hand on top of Logan's.

"Anything new and exciting to share?" Logan asked. 

"Just talking about the scenery. Also, Venom says you should use more lotion. Your hands are dry as a…uhm…."

Devil Dinosaur's ballsack?

"Devil Dinosaur's ballsack," Wade finished. 

"You don't complain when they're inside you," Logan retorted. 

I knew he was hornier than he let on.

Right? He hides it well. 

hmmm…

Can you tell me more about Kevin Sidney? This Morph guy?

He's probably different on my world than wherever this Wolverine's from. 

Yeah, but…

If you're trying to torture yourself…

No! I'm just…curious…He doesn't talk about his timeline. Just want a hint of something to work from, and he seemed really…something…about this Kevin guy when you mentioned him.

The symbiote hesitated with a full-body hum, thinking. 

We weren't best friends or anything, so I saw a lot of this from a distance. I was back in New York when they got hitched, though, and Wolverine just…

Some images flashed in Wade's brain, but they didn't make any sense. Venom reorganized them. 

It was a year or two before M-Day. You guys didn't have that, I think. We were kind of back on our villain shit, for a bit, but we never really had major beef with the X-Men. Still, he came and found us in our little crack-den hovel apartment a few days ahead of time. And he told us that if we kept our fellow shitheel elements at bay on his wedding day, he'd throw some heads my way.

Did you?

Well, he also threatened to incinerate me, so yeah. But also…

Venom did the parasite equivalent of staring out the window a moment. 

Eddie convinced me. Showed me what marriage was like, and it seemed interesting. I was neutral about the guy, and he'd just given me free reign to get a little bitey. So I might have done a few circuits through the woods around the X-Mansion. Beat the fuck out of Sabretooth. That was fun. You ever fought that guy?

Yeah! Guy's an asshole. 

Right? Anyway…I peeked into their wedding reception. Wolverine and Morph seemed happy. Made Eddie sad, though. My takeaway is that marriage is complicated. 

Yeah…yeah it is.

Not that I've been married, but like…you know. 

Hm….oh…Who's Vanessa? Every time you think of her you skate off it, but you just thought of her again.

Wait, I did? 

Ah, you don't realize you do it. I get it. If you don't want to talk about her, that's fine. 

No, I just…I don't know what I'd say. She said I was "lost" and "unfocused" and left me. She was willing to stick with me through cancer, but maybe that's because she saw an end date. 

You're mad about it. 

" This many years later? Yeah, I'm kinda pissed." The words emerged out loud. Logan jumped out of his seat next to him. 

"Sorry, I was talking to Venom," Wade said. 

"This whole time? That's…I've never seen that before." Logan's hand was still on his thigh, and it squeezed in a few small pulses.

"Whadaya mean?"

"All the others walked around talking to themselves."

The others were shit at internal narrative reflection. You're extremely good. I was able to figure out how to talk to you quickly.

"Apparently my constant inner monologue makes me an alien-talking savant." Wade tapped his fingers on the top of Logan's hand. "We were talking about Vanessa."

"Oh." Logan shifted uneasily. "We haven't seen her in a minute, have we?"

"Yeah, kind of on purpose. At first, it was because it kinda stung, still. The more I sit on it, though, the more I get mad about it, you know? If she broke up with me from the cancer? Totally get it. I wanted her to. I left her, even. If she never took me back after the shit with Frances. Yeah, that would make sense. If after the break-in at our apartment she wanted to break up because she was afraid for her life being with me, I wouldn't even be mad about that. That's so fucking logical.

"But no. She just…fell out of love with me then blamed me for it. She outgrew me but never gave me the chance to catch up."

"I never knew that's how you felt," Logan said. "I'm sorry."

"Water under the bridge. Like what? I'm supposed to complain about an ex when I've got a boyfriend who blows by back out in new, unfathomable ways?" Wade squeezed Logan's hand. "And I guess is my soul mate and stuff."

"We're not doing the soul mate thing, again."

"You don't want to do a flashback episode? Give the alien a little clip show of our lives together so far?"

You don't need to do that. I already made my own from your memories. There is…just…so much dick in here.

Haha…yeah….

There's a surprising amount of Wolverine in here, too.

He's my boyfriend and my lifelong crush…

No I mean his…life essence. Like when I switch hosts, I take a little of them with me, and a little of me is left behind in them. 

Can that be transferred via…fluids.

Ew and no. It's more…existential than that.

Well we did kind of atomize together one time…

Ah that might be it. It's given you a strong connection.

Oh…is it possible…

You're about to ask me a question that I don't have an answer to. Thinking about it is gonna fuck you up. Don't. 

Okay, Mx. Alien intelligence from beyond the galaxy, god.

I'm gonna put you to sleep.

Wha-?

A voice ripped from his throat. It mostly sounded like him, but he wasn't the one forming the words. 

"Wolverine. Wade's brain is overheating. I'm going to put him to sleep."

"Ah…okay." Logan's hand dug into Wade's thigh.

"Only a thirty to forty-five minute nap, then he'll wake on his own. If you need him before that, just ask. I can hear you. Please don't stab us. He might be into it, but I'm not."

"Oh…okay. Yeah. I'm amenable to that."

"Alright."

Wade felt his head flop over gently until his head leaned against the window. Then he was out. 

#####

Logan sat in the parking lot of the Baxter building thinking. Wade should be waking up any sec-

"Jesus," he yawned as he woke up. "I haven't slept like that since I was in the single digits. Not a single nightmare. Come to think of it, I don't remember any last night, either."

"Because I ate them."

They both jumped as Venom manifested on Wade's shoulder. They hinged to look around in all directions through the windows and skylight.

"I can sense him," they said.

"Yeah, he's probably up on that top floor doing CEO shit," Logan replied. "Thinking about how to do this."

"I assumed we'd be walking in, kicking ass, and taking names etc etc etc." Wade cracked his knuckles. 

"I like Peter," Logan said gently. "Well, the version I know. He's a genuinely good guy. It's actually extremely fucking frustrating. We're not politely getting past any of his secretaries or security, and I don't want to do it impolitely. So I'm thinking." 

"We should go to his house, instead," Venom said. "Too many other people here. Too much security. He never thinks to secure his house, though."

"You need to stop saying such disconcerting shit," Wade said.

"I have a lot of experience stalking this specific dude. He's a creature of habit. Also I need him alive, right now. So…"

"Well we don't have his address--" Logan started.

"Take me inside, and follow Wade's lead." 

Wade's body jerked as Venom changed his outfit to a suit and tie, then pulled him out of the car. His first few weird steps had evened out smoothly by the time they made it to the front door. There was a sort of swagger in Wade's step that was different from his usual one. Normally, out of his red suit, he tended to keep his head down, tucked in a hood, avoiding eye contact, trying to reduce his visibility despite his size. With the symbiote inside, he was forward and tall, bringing his hands to the front of his suit jacket to make sure the seams laid straight with a sense of purpose. 

Logan stayed back a few feet as Logan rolled up to the main reception.

"Hello, I'm Cullen Bunn here for Miguel O'Hara. Should be expecting me."

Whatever the front desk secretary was about to say, she froze stiff. A black tendril had dripped down from the edge of Wade's suit, over the counter, and down into her hands. She rolled away stiffly and typed furiously into the computer, staring at the screen for a few moments. Her body snapped as the tendril recoiled, and she refocused on Wade. 

"Oh, apologies, I just got the text message that he wants to meet off-campus. Sorry for bothering you." 

She barely had time to process the interaction before Wade had turned from the counter and was walking confidently across the lobby and out the door. Logan caught up as they swung through the revolving door. 

"What the fuck was that?"

"Venom looked up his address in the employee directory. Now I have it in my memory. I can put it in the GPS." Wade shook his hands, and his stride started easing off, Venom giving some of the control back. "Almost fucked up. We don't have a Miguel O'Hara, apparently." 

"Expected it to be bigger, honestly," Wade said. "Maybe it's just the guest house."

"We were able to get through the gate behind that other car, though," Venom pointed out from his resting spot on the dashboard. "What did I say about security?"

Logan had found a place to park the car in a cul-du-sac slightly across the way from Peter's house. It was getting on into the evening, and he wasn't home, yet. 

"Man's got a terrible work-life balance," Logan murmured. "Oh, huh…"

The front door had opened, a woman's silhouette appearing for half a moment before the door closed again. 

"Mary Jane?" Venom hissed.

"In my timeline, they're divorced as fuck, and it was not pretty." Logan tapped the steering wheel.

"In mine," Venom said, "Peter made a deal with Mephisto that they were never married to begin with in exchange for resurrecting his aunt and everyone forgetting his identity after he revealed it on live television."

"What the absolute fuck does all that mean?" Wade asked. 

"Wait, but you retained the memories?" Logan asked in turn.

"Peter vented to Flash about it. Then I got it from Flash's brain when we bonded." Venom slithered back up inside Wade's chest.

"Can't decide whether multiverse shit, magic shit, or alien shit is worse," Logan sighed.

"Why can't it all just be mutants and mutates," Wade agreed. "Way more straightforward and not confusing and full of clones and time-travel at all."

A woman wrapped her knuckles on the window. This wasn't Mary Jane. Not the one he had met. It was a woman with long blond hair pulled up to the nape of her neck. Logan rolled the window down. 

"Hey, so you've been out here, what an hour and a half? And haven't come in to kidnap me and the kids or tie us up or anything. So I'm assuming you're here for Peter, specifically, but you need to surprise him for some reason. So are you conscientious bad guys or good guys with ever so slightly nefarious  but overall good intentions?"

"The second one mostly," Wade replied across Logan's chest. 

"So I can invite you in and you'll be super cool and not traumatize my children or bust my house up?"

"That would be very kind of you, Mrs. Parker," Logan said. He was nothing if not fucking polite, at least.

She chuffed at him.

"Gwen Stacey-Parker, and I'll ask you to use the whole double-barrel, please."

"Yes of course."

"Now can you tell me who you are?" she asked as she led them up to the front door and into the foyer.

"Logan Howlett, ma'am, and this is Wade Wilson." He wouldn't normally speak for Wade, but he was tense in his gut. On a good day, there was only a seventy percent chance Wade would actually behave himself. In his current state, he didn't know how drastically the probability for social disaster had changed. Better to keep things pinned tighter. 

"Have any goofy codenames? Sorry for presuming but you give off superpowered vibes." Her messy bun did a little sway as she turned over her shoulder at them. "Wait no. That defeats the purpose if you tell me, doesn't it? Nevermind. We are a pro-mutant house, though. So…" 

She had brought them through the foyer, past a glass-door office, a mother-in-law suite off to the right, to a formal dining room. A large kitchen, living room, and a small informal dining were beyond. A girl and a boy, maybe eleven and six, were serving themselves from a huge tray of lasagna. Gwen had dipped into the kitchen behind them and returned with plates. 

"Already put Peter's in the microwave, so there's plenty to go around." She handed them the plates then moved around to the head of the table. "May, Bengy, this is Mr. Howlett and Mr. Wade. They're friends of daddy, and they're going to join us for dinner until he gets home. Which he should, soon." She sat down. "Despite all appearances to the contrary, he doesn't usually come home this late. West coast video meeting probably went long." 

She gestured to the empty chairs at the end of the table. 

"Seriously. Sit. You're making me nervous." 

"Here, have some garlic bread." May slid them the serving platter. Logan found himself still hesitating, but Wade broke the tension by digging into the glass tray before dropping down next to Bengy. 

"Hey can you pass me the sprinkle cheese, little man?" Wade gestured to the green canister of powdered parmesan. 

"Yeah!" Bengy said. He then spat webbing from the inside of his wrist, circling the canister, then flung it across the table. Wade caught it. Gwen visibly tensed at the end of the table. 

"That's pretty good aim, little man, but you're stronger than you think you are. Gotta pull it back a little."

Bengy nodded enthusiastically. 

Logan finally had a plate and sat down near May, trying to keep track of everything that was happening. His Spider-Man didn't have kids. It was a whole horrifically traumatic thing that had spread in gossip through the X-Men and other groups of super-powered people. Seeing this possible reality felt like a betrayal to the man he had known. 

"Little early to be developing mutant powers. Have you contacted the school?" Logan tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible. Not like he had any idea how to actually raise a kid of his own. He'd been a drunk uncle figure at best. Gwen ran her fingers through Bengy's hair. 

"We're doing okay, so far. He knows not to use his power at school or in public. We'll readdress it when he's older. Rather leave the space for kids who really need it."

"That's fair," Logan replied. "Wade and I help train kids there. How to use their powers without hurting themselves and each other."

"I'm the punishment," Wade said. "Break a rule and you have to fight me one v one."

"He's joking," Logan insisted, knowing that he kind of wasn't. Sometimes the threat of extreme violence was the only thing that worked on a churlish seventeen year old mutant.

"So you guys are mutants?" May asked, only half attending to her lasagna.

"May…" Gwen hissed. 

"I mean, I opened the conversation," Logan said. He turned to May, trying to figure out how to be gentle. "Yes, but it's generally rude to just…ask that." She rolled her eyes so perfectly it was cliche.

"Is it rude to ask what your powers are?" She finally took an actual bite of her food.

"We both have super healing. But I also have…uh…claws…and Wade is extra fast and strong." Logan ran the words through his head, trying to find the places a kid might pick that apart and ask questions.

"I mean, I'm not technically a mutant," Wade waffled. 

"Let's not over complicate it," Logan replied. 

"Claws?" Bengy asked with a squeak of interest.

"Uhm…" Logan glanced at Gwen, and she nodded with a shrug. He lifted a hand and flashed his claws, flicking them out slower than usual. 

"Holy shit, that's cool," May said.

"Language," Gwen admonished. 

"If I don't end up with powers after Dad and Bengy…" May grumbled. 

"May!" And this was sharper. A bark on the edge of doling out punishment. The table ricocheted with the silence it created. 

The front door opened with a vocal alert from the security system. 

"Sorry. West coast meeting went long." Peter's voice was quick and familiar. It was the thing he knew best, after all. Certainly not his face.

"Your dinner's in the microwave, but we've got some guests," Gwen called to him. 

Peter appeared in the archway of the formal dining, jacket halfway down his arms. When his eyes landed on Logan they lifted in recognition. So this Logan had met this Peter at least once. Peter sighed.

"You people never leave 'til you say your peace, so let's get this over with. We can talk in my office.

#####

i love him i love him i love him

Sounds like me when I'm getting that good dicking down.

Again, ew.

 But also, it's still a part of me. I can't shake him even after all this time. Looking at him makes it worse. 

He's hot as fuck. I don't blame you. 

That's not…nevermind. You physically can't understand.

Peter rearranged the chairs in the front room with glass doors so that they sat in a triangle. The far wall was mostly built-in bookcases and filled with complex science texts. The computer setup was set into "standing desk" mode, but it was also on wheels. That too, he moved out of the way. His suit jacket went over his desk chair and his sleeves rolled up to reveal lean muscle and a fit form. 

I would have the hugest crush on this man if I knew he existed.

When porno mags were still a thing, at least three of them offered him a spread.

I can see it.

"So what do you gentlemen want, exactly?" He gestured to the chairs. "And don't take this the wrong way…but I sort of thought you were dead, Wolverine." 

"Oh! Can I explain it!" Wade clapped his hands rapidly. 

"You were there for all it," Logan acquiesced. 

Wade tried to start with being kidnapped by the TVA until he realized he had to go all the way back to Cable for everything to make sense. Peter listened quietly, for his part. And when he glanced sideways at Logan, he too was rapt with attention. For whatever Logan hadn't told him about his timeline, Wade hadn't really volunteered certain details either. They had just never seemed relevant. Maybe they should have come up before this. 

"So there are different versions of me on different timelines, and on those I actually use my powers?" Peter leaned in, confounded and surprised, elbows on his knees. 

"Basically," Wade said. "Why aren't you, though? What's your deal?" Wade reached over and poked him in the shoulder. 

Peter leaned back, crossing his arms over his sexy sexy chest. 

"I was fifteen. Got bit by a…this is going to sound so stupid…"

"Radioactive spider," Wade and Logan said in unison.

"Oh," Peter said. "Right. I guess in the grand scheme of things…Anyway. Wake up with these powers, and I immediately thought 'oh shit, I'm a mutant. These are my mutant powers.' Didn't want to wait for Charles Xavier to show up, so I just called the school. They said they couldn't 'read' me, so I wasn't a mutant. Don't know how that works."

"It's called Cerebro," Wade said knowingly. "It's wiiiiildd."

"Of course." Peter rolled his eyes, and he looked exactly like his daughter. "Anyway, I was totally lost, right? Then I heard about a group for teens with powers that met in secret. I snuck out. Got there and the vibes were…bad…real bad. Think it was a Magneto recruiting ground.

"In the meantime, my Uncle Ben realized I was gone and saw where I had written the address on a sticky note. So he drives over into the Bronx from Queens to find me.

"I come out of this old warehouse where this meeting happened, and I'm just trying to make it to the bus. When suddenly this guy is barreling down the sidewalk at me with someone's purse. And they always tell you to just let it go, you know? Your life's not worth a wallet. But I was just so mad about everything. About the conversation with Xavier. About all these screwed up changes that I didn't know what to do with. And no one wants to help me. So I'm like 'let me take matters into my own hands.' I'm so confident that I could win any fight I started, at this point.

"So I shoulder-check this guy. Try to pick a fight on purpose. I start yelling at him, pushing him. I don't even know what I was saying, I was so pissed. That of course escalates everything, and he whips out a gun.

"And I hear my Uncle Ben. Calling out. Trying to save me. The guy turns, and I just…I just decked him. Hard. But not before he gets a shot off. Wings Ben in the shoulder." 

Peter dropped his arms, shifting to rest his cheek on his palm.

"My Uncle Ben, the man who was basically my dad, almost died because I couldn't control my anger or my powers. I was…cocky.

"And when I was sitting with him in the hospital waiting for Aunt May to show up, all I could think was that I did that. And if I didn't get my shit together, this might happen again. That I needed to figure out how to control my powers and understand what they did.

"A few years later I get a call about being on a super-powered mutant team. But I'm already in college. I'm dating Gwen, we're both talking about going to England…and I think…no…You didn't want to help me when I really needed you, why do you get my life now? That's kind of what Parker Industries is. My attempt to make things better in a real way. Don't know if I'm doing it, yet."

I can't. I can't. I can't.

What's going on, alien baby?

I was going to beg him to host me, but look at his life? It's so…good…It's literally everything my Peter ever wanted.

Ask about Flash Thompson. 

"Hey, um, what's going on with your buddy Flash Thompson these days?"

"Flash?" Peter sucked in a hot breath through his teeth. "When he came back from his second deployment without legs, I personally oversaw a new branch of our medical tech department to make the best damn prosthetics ever made. I was even willing to work with Oscorp on it, when it was still around. But alcohol is a hell of a drug. I tried, but he didn't make it out of the relapse."

Fuck. 

"Why are you asking about Flash Thompson?" Peter asked. "Is that actually why you're here?"

How do you want to do this?

Let me show him.

"Yeah, okay." Wade interlaced his fingers. "Don't freak out. And let me introduce you to Venom." 

When the alien moved out of his body it was like his skin pulled from his muscle and muscle from bone, and the extra mass dragged his body down in unusual ways. Venom made themselves particularly large, trying to match the size and shape of a human torso, head, and arms while still emerging from Wade's chest. 

Peter simply stared, trying to process everything as fast as possible. 

"Are you an alien or a demon?" Peter finally asked. 

"Alien symbiote," Venom replied. 

"I'm okay with that. Alien I can handle. That's….that's science. Clarke's third law aside, if you were magic I'd have some…I'd have some problems. Okay. So you're the one who needs me?"

Now it was the symbiote's turn to lay out their life thus far and how they got to this point. 

"I don't know how to make it back to my timeline, at this point."

Really shouldn't have broken Cable's special watch…fuck…

"So I need a host. I thought if I found you in this timeline you might be willing, but…no. That's not fair to your family."

"Do I not have a family in other timelines?" Peter asked. 

"Don't ask questions you don't want answers to," Venom said. 

"Okay. Got it. Haaaah." Peter slumped forward with a sigh. 

"Flash was one of your hosts?"

"He was my most recent one. I just parted from him."

"How…how was he?" Peter asked. 

"I tweaked his brain. Managed to get the alcoholism under control. Then we went to space."

"That's cool as hell." He nodded in approval. "Okay. So do I know any other hosts? Seems like in your timeline you're shopping my sphere of acquaintances."

Venom hesitated, shying away from the question. 

"Eddie Brock," Logan said. Peter looked down and away, thinking. 

"That name sounds so familiar. Hold on." He moved out of his chair to glance around the newspaper articles mounted to the walls. "Here. When I set up my first bio-med lab, we granted him a tour to talk about our motivations and mission statement. It was a really positive write-up. He was a nice guy. But I have no idea what he's doing now, so I don't know if I can help you." Peter tapped his knuckle against the glass. "You know what? I used to do freelance photography at The Bugle , and we overlapped. I bet you I still have contacts there. They might know what happened to him. Can you give me a day?"

"Yes, thank you. We can handle another day." Logan shot up from his chair. "Let me just give you my number."

"I mean, if you're at the X-Mansion, I know how to contact them."

"Oh okay. Yeah. Now we're gonna get out of here so you can enjoy your family." Logan yanked Wade up from the chair. 

"Uh, yeah…thanks," Wade said. 

What the fuck?

Then he walked them out of the room and the house.

."You were a bit of a grump-a-sauraus back there." Wade flopped down on their bed. It was late, but they had at least made it home without much further ado. Venom had decided they needed to rest, so they had pulled from the surface of Wade's brain and body. He could still feel them in there, but it was detached and distant.

Wade had done his usual nervous chattering on the drive home, but Logan had remained quiet, still, barely responding with even a threat of violence.

Something really shook him up.

Logan sat on the bench at the end of their bed and started undressing. 

"In my timeline, Gwen Stacey's dead. She was thrown off a roof by someone Spider-Man was fighting. He webbed her mid-aid to keep her from falling, and she was dead when he got her back on the roof." 

"Jesus fuck."

"He blames himself to this day. And none of us would ever fucking say it to his face because we're not goddamn monsters, but well…physics…Spines don't take hard traction like that well…" Logan let it drop off. "This timeline's Peter made the choice to not be Spider-Man, and look at his life. What if-"

"Okay, but we didn't have that same choice." Wade scooted his body until his head was laying on the bench next to Logan, gazing up at his shirtless chest. "I had cancer. I could either die or go through what I thought was a super-soldier program. I didn't choose any of what Frances put me through. You couldn't have known what Weapon-X would do to you. You were trying to serve your country. You didn't make yourself a mutant. Neither of us asked for the years of child abuse and trauma." Wade lifted his arms above his head and touched the backs of his fingers to the floor. "Peter didn't go through any of that. He didn't have to make the kind of choices we did." 

Privileged little white boy. 

I guess I'm a little white boy, too, though. 

Wait, nurturing caregivers and a stable home are a vector of privilege; I get points for that.

"And all those actual big choices, those fucking…four to five moments…if I'd done any of those differently, I wouldn't be here. With you. Right now. Touching your nipple." He reached out, slowly, to touch him then made contact. Logan normally swatted him away when he tried to get frisky at weird times. This time he just stared down at him with wavered eyebrows. 

He scooped his hand under Wade's head and lifted him all the way up into a kiss. Deep and throbbing like all the other parts of him. His clothes melted back into his skin, leaving him in just his briefs. Logan growled against his mouth. 

"Symbiote."

"They're asleep. I did the clothing thing." It was only half a lie. He had control over the clothing, so Venom hadn't done it. But he wasn't totally sure that Venom was actually particularly dormant. Logan growled again. Wade somersaulted over the bench to stand upright in front of Logan.

"You're really going to look at all this--" he turned to wiggle his ass "--and say no just because there's an alien ride along?" 

"They're not allowed to come out." Logan reached forward and pressed his face against Wade's lower back. 

"Obviously." 

"Alright." Logan lifted him around the waist and judo threw him over his shoulder and onto the bed. 

Everything was so easy now, a quick flow of routine from step to step. Not boring. Comfortable. Delightful in its predictability. Logan was out of his jeans already, looking for their usual accouterments in the side table. 

"I'm all fired up from my forced nap. Let me top." Wade slid to the edge of the bed and took Logan's cock in his mouth. 

God, I'm so glad everything else got me to this point. Fuck this multiverse shit. 

Do you need help?

Go back to sleeeeeep.

I experience everything you do. I'm not gonna knock out and miss a good orgasm.

I can respect that honestly. Stay inside so Logan doesn't get mad.

Can do.

Logan wove his fingers around the back of Wade''s head, pressing his mouth deeper against his cock. 

"I'm kinda tired, so if I don't have to do any work, okay." 

Wade released him, and Logan disappeared into the bathroom for a moment to quick prep. Wade sat back and played with his own cock, waiting, getting hard and ready for Logan. A tendril emerged from his knee; it wrapped around his base and squeezed. 

What the fuck did I say?!

It's just until he gets back. Let me have this. 

You're really pushing it.

The bathroom door opened and Venom zooted back into Wade's body. Barely paying attention, Logan dropped between Wade's legs and wrapped his mouth around his cock. 

"Oh, you don't need to do a lot of that, peanut. I'm 'boutta burst as is." He had noticed that the last time they fucked. Everything had built fast and powerful. The only difference was the influence of the symbiote. 

Think about those implications later.

Logan grunted and flopped on the bed. Wade preferred missionary, but Logan threw his ass up to take it from behind. He positioned behind him readily, all the movements easy and familiar and sexy and satisfying as their bodies brushed against each other. 

"Cherry or vanilla?" Wade asked as he looked at the bottles Logan had pulled from the nightstand. 

"I'm not the one tasting it," Logan grumbled. Wade wasn't either this time, so he moved ahead full steam. 

Fuck that's good.

A few moments flashed together as he pressed, lubed up, into Logan. He didn't actually want to move, enjoying the feeling of soaking in Logan's insides. But here his hips were going, pumping in and out gently, at first, then quicker and harder. His hands spread down Logan's back, and he considered whether he was in an ass-slapping mood. Something about this lazy pounding was more appealing. He reached around to stroke Logan's cock instead and was rewarded with a low growl of pleasure. 

A tendril glanced over the back of his thigh. 

Dude.

Hold on, let me show you something.

The tendril slipped between his ass and crawled up inside him, aiming right for the sweet spot with a few soft taps. He jolted and fell forward over Logan's ass.

"Holy fuuuuuck," he hissed. 

"What?" Logan looked back over his shoulder. 

"Um…" Wade seriously considered lying for several long moments before deciding that was a terrible, horrible, unethical idea. "Can I…holy fuck…" The words wouldn't even come out, the dual sensations eating away as his ability to form sounds.

"Can Venom join us? Just me. They won't touch you. If they do, you can slice them from my body and stab me until you're satisfied."

Under-fucking-stood?

Yes, honey.

Wade watched the gears turn in Logan's head. 

"You get one shot," Logan said.

"Ohmygodthankyou." 

The symbiote pressed against his insides again, leaning in hard against his prostate. Wade leant some of his control over to the alien, his hips starting to slam into Logan as the symbiote worked him from the other side. This left him room to concentrate on stroking Logan's cock and digging his nails into his skin. 

Logan panted soft and ragged underneath him, thrusting a little into his hand. When he came, it was with a moan and a shudder, gnashing his teeth before he dropped down onto his elbows. 

"Hold on. Almost…" When Wade came it was an explosion that broke in waves through every muscle in his body. There was an echo there, though, a twin orgasm that rattled alongside his own that belonged to someone else riding along in his body.

Thank you, Wade.

Do not talk to me, right now.

And they slid back away into his consciousness as Wade collapsed down next to Logan. 

"Do we talk about it?" Wade said quietly. 

"No," Logan said curtly. 

Oh we REALLY need to talk about it. But not yet.

#####

"Wade, get up. As pissed off as I am about it, we've got a plane to catch."  Logan kissed him on the forehead to wake him. When that didn't work, he poked a blade into his cheek ever so gently. 

"Owie!" Wade rolled over grumpily, arms flailing. "It's too early." 

"Just early enough to make it to the airport." Logan pulled out their duffel bags and started throwing in enough clothes for a few days. Wade finally started coming to his senses, getting out of bed to move around the room, khakis and a t-shirt appearing on his body as he started helping with the packing. 

"How did you get a flight so fast? Where are we going?"

That was the great thing about Wade. Tell him you're going to do something, he may ask questions, but he'll start working while he's asking. 

"It's a shit flight. Two long layovers in Chicago and Denver. Won't be getting into San Francisco until ten o'clock local time."

"Why are we going to San Francisco?"

"That's where Eddie Brock lives. Scott caught a voice mail on the main line this morning. After we left last night, Peter remembered he got an e-mail a few months ago from someone at the San Francisco Examiner asking for an interview. They referenced their colleague Ed Brock. He hadn't put all the components together, but when he googled the paper, E.C. Brock showed up as a byline."

"That's him." Venom's body sluiced out of Wade's shoulder. 

"Peter said he would see if he could get an address, still, but we can at least get to California in the meantime."

"Sounds like a plan," Wade said. 

"What if I don't want to go back to him?" Venom said sharply. "I never asked to." 

Logan slammed his bag on the floor. He couldn't do this. This multiverse symbiote bullshit. It was too goddamn much. He had waited too fucking long to have someone who was just his. Who belonged to him and him alone. He wasn't fucking sharing. 

"Look, you can't stay bonded to Wade. I won't accept it. And I'm not gonna offload you on some rando in the street without knowing how they'd use you. Neither of us want to ruin Peter's life. Flash is out of commission. Your other options are either I find whatever shithole Mac Gargan is probably locked up in right now, drop you off, then throw away the key so you can torture each other to death. Or I go find out if this version of Alchemex is in the business of symbiotes."

"That's quite the lore drop, sweetpea," Wade whispered. 

Logan flicked out his claws and pressed them under Venom's chin.

"Or…we take you to Eddie Brock and test that option out. What would you prefer? Because you don't want to know what the last option is." 

Venom clacked his teeth then sunk a little further back into Wade's body without disappearing completely. 

"I'd prefer the window seat if it's an option," Venom said.

[kariachi]

It will forever burn me that in a bid to make the Plumbers' Helpers not natural hybrids (because apparently you can only be a natural hybrid if you're a Tennyson or Ester) they 1) took a large chunk of our non-white cast and not only made them victims of unethical experimentation by the authorities with no justice or even really acknowledgement at the end of the day but also subjected them to active enslavement by said authorities, and 2) removed what little we knew and/or could infer about their backstories and lives and tossed them into a fire while giving us very little to fill the void with (what's going on with Alan's family? we don't know, just ignore them).

Add to that that they, for the sake of making him not a hybrid, took 90% of what we knew about Kevin's backstory and threw it into a fire, alongside everything we knew about an important villain, while giving us literally nothing to fill the void.

And the worst part is none of this was necessary. There was no actual affect on the show. Kevin's hybrid status, the existence of Osmosians, whether or not Manny, Helen, Pierce, and Alan were natural hybrids, none of that actually mattered. Shit didn't come up. It was set dressing that at it's worst expanded the setting at the expense of some annoying retcons with Kevin that were less a matter of an issue with the 'making him a hybrid' thing and more one with the writing and how UAF handled his family and relations to them. Everything they removed was shit that could and for the most part was already ignored 99 times out of 100.

And even if these things had affected shit more often, that doesn't change the fact that the retcons don't answer more questions than they cause. Congratulations, now instead of 'how did Alan's parents manage it' and 'wtf is going on with Kevin's family', we have 'how did the Amalgams end up with the Rooters in the first place' and 'what's going on with Alan's family' and 'how much of these characters' personalities are a lie' and 'if Kevin was a sleeper agent and the others might have been too why was Alan in the position he was' and 'what connection if any is there between the Rooters and what Manny, Helen, and Pierce were up to' and 'wtf is going on with Kevin's family'.

In undoing one retcon and partially removing something they didn't like, the creators opened a big old can of worms that they never had any intention of trying to manage. Rather than ignore the questions that were already there, or try to form answers that worked within their framework, they instead just turned a flamethrower on everything, went 'evil experiments by corrupt cops, don't worry about it', and left us staring at the blaze left in their wake as they moved on to shit that wasn't just there for the sake of retconning.

It's a waste formed of needless bullshit and change that does little more than leave a sour taste in the mouth and a million questions unanswered.

[avaveevo]

New Ultra Opposites Team

Terry/Solar Flare: Fire Powers and Mundane Transformation

Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: Ice Powers and Super Shlorpian Transformation

Yumyulack/Psylock: Psychic Powers, Mind Reading Powers, and Super Shlorpian Transformation

Jesse/Electra: Electricity Powers and Mundane Transformation

The Pupa

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Super Strength and Flight

Lili/Mighty Baby: Super Cries

Phoebe MacCarthy/Katana: Martial Arts and Weapon Summoning

Janiz/Lady Super Shlorpian, Korvo's older sister: Martial Arts and Super Shlorpian Transformation

Kimber/Skarlet: Blood Manipulation

AISHA

EVA, AISHA's cousin

MAX, a prototype AI

Parker/Spider-Girl: Spiderman Powers

Daryl/Dark Matter, Yumyulack's boyfriend: Psychic Powers

Stacy G/Mightette, Jesse’s girlfriend: Super Strength

Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: Flight and Laser Eyes

Ms. Frankie/Shadow Lady: Martial Arts and Weapon Summoning

Nova/Lady Roseus: Gift

Kevin/The Flamethrower: Fire Breath

Randall/Ultra Man: Super Strength and Flight

Jaime/Firey: Fire Powers

Darcy/Miss Darcina: Muscle Growth

Ms. Perez/Shout Out: Super Yell

Sherbet/Violet: Color Changing Powers

Cherie/Agent Red: Martial Arts and Fire Powers

Montez/The Master: Psychic Powers

Pezlie/Shadow: Acid Tears

Mia/Shine Light: Green Lantern Powers

Janice/Master Smasher: Super Strength

Monica Miller/Acid Girl: Acid Powers

Trevor/Tip-Shot: Laser Fingers

Shauna/Frostbyte: Ice Vision

Dr. Weatherstone/Hurricane: Wind Manipulation

Glen “Dodge Charger”/Silver Knight: Silver Powers

Zylenol “Zy”/Cyclops: Laser Eyes

Gragger/Sticky Squid: Goo Powers

Skunt/Zamboni: Spinning Ball Powers

Ringo/Master Blaster: Arm Cannons

Sophia/Glitter Girl: Glitter Powers

Phoebe and Monica are owned by @themagicwolf6677

Parker is owned by @prospitdaydreamer

[mysticbeaver]

Your opinion on all the side characters? Or what you like or dislike in each of them?

Thanks for the ask, and it's a long one! Nice for a change. Let's see...

- Jonny 2x4 - one of the characters I'm guilty of neglecting... But I think he's a fun, quirky kid (even when he's supposed to be annoying). I remember when I first watched Dear Ed (where he got in a fight with Plank) the scene at the playground made me sad for him. It seems to me there's not much Jonny fanart here on tumblr compared to how Plank and him are considered icons of the show elsewhere. That's probably what makes some like me less interested in the character... I hardly react to pics of real Plank IRL, sorry Plank fans 😅

- Sarah - she's fun... c'mon! Again, non-tumblr fans are on a different planet, the hate boners people have for a 6-7(?) year-old character are entertaining... for a while. I love that she's actually intimidating and strong, she ain't just bark and no bite, another less slapstick-focused show would have handled her differently. A lot of people cheer for the scene where Ed shouts at her in Little Ed Blue, cause they want to see her get "just desserts", but I never care about that, I like her for the rabid little princess she is lol. I also like people's headcanons of her treating her brother better as she grows up, and hopefully escaping the unhealthy favoritism from her parents.

- Jimmy -  even more than Sarah, the hate he sometimes gets is really tedious to me... he's always entertaining, especially his "theatre kid" moments, and his squeaky voice borders on "dog frequencies" sometimes haha. The only thing I've found slightly odd is maybe his flaws and negative traits (spoiled, Sarah always has his back, secretly a cunning little bastard) are sometimes given a free pass just because he's queer-coded, maybe? This only ever bothered me exclusively in relation to someone like Kevin being written off instead, but this my own bias, just a lighthearted observation (for real tho please tell me if this is a dumb reasoning)

- Nazz - she's the nicest and most well-adjusted "normal" kid around (if you ask me kevin ain't normal haha), but had an unfortunate starting point of "girl all the boys have a crush on", which she was never developed out of, or at least not nearly enough as she should have been. I've read something about the writers struggling to figure out what to do with her, maybe? Can't remember. Some people point out her hidden intelligence, but I think it would also be interesting to explore her negative traits, mainly I see her as slightly two-faced/flighty when it comes to how she interacts with the Eds.

Kevin - oh boy, my sense of this character is probably so skewed... The one character I used to get upset and annoyed about like an idiot, in regards to other people's takes and such, sometimes I resent the fact I ever got fixated on the character... why??? Help 🤣 I guess what torments me is that the viewer was never really meant to like him or find him interesting in any way? and doing otherwise is just a case of "fandom brainrot", I dunno what others think 😵‍💫 His jerk/bully role is definitely handled in more interesting ways than other shows would, there's enough meat to the character I guess it's possible to be invested in headcanons/developments. (or so I convince myself...)

Without getting too rambling, let's just say I love him as much as I'd find it entertaining to see him get incinerated by a flamethrower lmao.

Rolf - my other favorite ofc, and a much more pleasant one lol. Nothing embarrassing about loving this character, for sure. In fact I'm probably guilty of not seeing his flaws, but I guess he can be arrogant, and violent/gross with his traditions, when he could learn to be lenient considering how he's treated with a fair amount of tolerance by the cul-de-sac. But in the end he's just a kid trying to get used to a new land and culture.

Kanker sisters - I never thought much about Lee but my eyes have been opened by the implication that being the oldest one in a tough family/social background kinda excuses a lot of her behavior... But others can analyse this better than me.

I think Marie is the unfortunate middle sister who maybe had the least distinct personality? (beyond her aesthetic hinting at her being a punk chick), thankfully she's got plenty fans (btw her being underdeveloped is more food for thought for marie x nazz/nazzarie 👀...). I haven't got much to say unfortunately, other than my first eene ship was eddmarie exactly because of Marie development.

I'm guilty of seeing May as the most innocent one (certainly thanks to that bit where she cries in Hanky Panky Hullabaloo) and the only Kanker I'm keen on shipping with an Ed (the Ed).

Bro? - well... He serves his purpose haha. And he's got an interesting aesthetic. I do like people being invested in the character and even liking him or imagining a more redemptive interpretation of him. Fans have been able to like much more monstrous characters in fiction, being a Bro fan is no big deal... "I can fix him" sure go ahead! You're a saint 🤣

[scratterbrained]

Just watched Home Alone (properly) for the first time and oh my god. Kevin did NOT need to go that far holy shit. He found out at midday his house was going to be robbed at 9pm but instead of calling the cops instantly or speaking to literally ANYONE he straight up commit warfare???? This 8 year old could have been responsible for genuine murder but was forced to conform to a pg. he had a gun. He set up a flamethrower. He ENJOYED their pain. I don’t know whether to respect or fear him.

[myminionboyfriend]

MY MINION BOYFRIEND

We set fire to Kevin's science project! What about Bobson's science project?

We all collectively have 4 Preston Points.

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites in Ultra Opposites Scene: Jesse/Electra Finally Becomes a Mundane (for @avaveevo)

Monica is still trapped in her cell as she got shock by Night Runner and Jesse/Electra is furious while the other Ultra Opposites arrived!

Terry/Solar Flare: No...

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Monica! Night Runner, release this poor girl at once!

Nicholas/Night Runner: After Electra broke my heart? No way!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: You bastard! You have gone too far messing with my daughter! It’s time to stop!

Cherie/Agent Red: I agree with L.S.S. here! You’re out of control!

Nicholas/Night Runner: Why don't you make me Mr. Flat Ass?!

Nova/Lady Roseus: Hey! Don’t talk to my best friend like that!

Terry/Solar Flare: Yeah! My husband’s ass is beautiful and thicc! slaps Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian’s ass

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Ooh! giggles Solar Flare, you dirty boy.

Terry/Solar Flare: Why yes. Yes I am. kiss Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian

Nicholas/Night Runner: Seriously? Are they always like this?

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Hell yeah! Because my alien dads always love each other no matter what!

Janiz/Lady Super Shlorpian: Now, release Monica at once!

Jesse/Electra: Leave him to me.

But then, the tube breaks a piece and an electric bolt hits Jesse/Electra as she starts screaming in pain. Then, she suddenly feels a pain in her head.

Terry/Solar Flare: Jesse!

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Sis! Are you okay?!

Yumyulack/Psylock: Speak to us! puts his hand on Jesse/Electra’s shoulders

Jesse/Electra: GET AWAY FROM ME!

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Huh?

Jesse/Electra: THE POWER! THE RAGE! I CAN'T HOLD IT!

Miss Frankie/Shadow Lady: Um, are you like okay Electra?

Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: gasps and realizes what is going on Guys, get back!

Daryl/Dark Matter: to Yumyulack/Psylock Babe! Is your sister okay?!

Yumyulack/Psylock: I don't know.

Jesse/Electra suddenly grows bigger.

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Solar Flare! L.S.S.! What’s happening to my sister?!

Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: Terry, it's time.

Terry/Solar Flare: Wh-what?!

Jesse suddenly grows muscular and her skin goes black as she rips apart her dress and shows into pieces thanks to her still growing and the muscle growth too.

Terry/Solar Flare: Oh my god...

Sherbet/Violet: Holy shit! Like father like daughter!

Montez/The Master: I’ll say!

Jesse grows boobs much to everyone's confusion and shock.

Yumyulack/Psylock: gasp Titties!

Daryl/Dark Matter: Did she just get boobs?

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian, Terry/Solar Flare and Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Psylock!

Yumyulack/Psylock: What?

Monica: El-Electra?!

Mundane Jesse/Electra roars.

Cherie/Agent Red: I’m afraid this is not gonna end well! Stand back guys!

Terry/Solar Flare: Oh no! My baby!

Nicholas/Night Runner: What the fuck?!

Mundane Jesse/Electra’s eyes then starts glowing pink as she roars breaks the tube that was able to free Monica.

Monica: Thank you!

Terry/Solar Flare: Oh God! My babygirl! cries as Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian comforts him

Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: It's okay, darling.

Mundane Jesse/Electra roars and throws Nicholas/Night Runner towards the building as she roars and jumps out.

Monica: Electra! No! Stop!

Mundane Jesse/Electra then grabs her yellow bow and yanks it off her head as she roars.

Terry/Solar Flare: SHIT!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: We got to do something before Electra hurt herself! We must find a way to calm her down

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian turns into his Super Shlorpian form.

Terry/Solar Flare: Wait! I know how! Korvy! Fly me to Jesse! Quick!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: What?! Are you insane?!

Terry/Solar Flare: Trust me… she’s my little sproutling… I have to help her…

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Okay.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian, seeing how determined and selfless his husband is being right now, smiles as he kiss his hubby on the forehead and grabs as he flies off while the other Ultra Opposites follow them and see Mundane Electra.

Terry/Solar Flare: JESSE!

Mundane Jesse/Electra as she throws Night Runner to a wall that knocks him out and then she sees Terry/Solar Flare and growls at him.

Terry/Solar Flare: It's okay. It's me. Your daddy.

Mundane Electra roars and throws a giant rock at Legendary Super Shlorpian and Solar Flare as they manage to dodge it. Then, Solar Flare’s eyes starts to glow orange as he smirks and goes Papa Wolf. Seeing this, Legendary Super Shlorpian smiles and gets ready to throw Mundane Solar Flare.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: You ready?

Terry/Solar Flare: starts turning black while growing bigger and muscular Oh fuck yeah! Ready!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Damn, honey. You looking faboo.

Terry/Solar Flare: Hell yeah. I do! Throw me in!

Legendary Super Shlorpian throws Solar Flare. Solar Flare then turns finished transforming into his Mundane form as he rips apart his uniform and roars. Mundane Electra then sees Mundane Solar Flare and snarls at him.

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: Jesse. You're okay. Look at me.

Mundane Electra roars and prepares to throw another rock at Mundane Solar Flare as he gasp.

Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: Poor Terry. He dead.

But, Mundane Solar Flare kept being brave as he sees Mundane Electra snarling.

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: J-Jesse?

Mundane Electra is about to throw something at her dad. Mundane Electra roars and throws the rock at Mundane Solar Flare who punches it into little ash thanks to his fire powers as he roars. Mundane Solar Flare then grabs Mundane Electra and pin her to the ground while touching her face softly and stroking it. Mundane Jesse realizes what she did and sobs.

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: Shh. Oh Jesse-Bear. I’m so sorry Night Runner pushed you too far. This would’ve never happened if we had finally realize how truly crazy he is and still be there for you and then Monica would never be captured… you are not a monster… you are Jesse Opposites… a daughter… a sister… and a superhero… you’re our Electra and always will be. Please… come back to me Jesse-Bear…

Mundane Electra then breaks down in tears as tears fall down like waterfalls. Seeing how scared and overwhelmed his daughter is, Mundane Solar embrace his daughter in a hug as he continues to sooth her and comfort his daughter.

Daryl/Dark Matter: Uh, babe? Are you crying?

Yumyulack/Psylock: shedding tears of joy Aaaww…

Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: Well, how about that?

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Oh sis… walks to Mundane Jesse/Electra with the rest of the Ultra Opposites and hugs her

Mundane Jesse/Electra turns back into her normal Shlorpian self as she continues crying in Solar Flare’s chest.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: We’re so sorry about all of this. You were trying to tell us how crazy Nicholas is, and we didn’t believe in you. We thought you were being mean to him when he tried to win you back. But we were wrong. He is an asshole.

Yumyulack/Psylock: We’re sorry. It’ll be okay. We’re gonna stop Night Runner. Once and for all.

Jesse/Electra: Thank you...

But, Jesse/Electra starts turning back into her Mundane form as she starts breathing in and out.

Terry/Solar Flare: Whoa. Easy honey. Just take deep breaths. This is your first time. Right now, let’s go stop Night Runner before he recaptures Monica!

Everyone: Yeah!

Jesse/Electra keeps taking deep breaths but her eyes are still glowing pink.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

* * * * *

Meanwhile, the struggle in the House of Representatives today looked like a preview of the 2024 election. 

Representative Jim Jordan (R-OH), a staunch supporter of former president Trump and a key figure in the attempt to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election, is pushing hard for election as speaker, emphasizing how imperative it is for the House Republicans to enable the House to get back to business. As Karoun Demirjian outlined in the New York Times, Jordan and his allies have deployed a pressure campaign against those Republicans opposed to him, as she puts it, “working to unleash the rage of the party’s base voters against any lawmaker standing in his way.” 

This is the same tactic that the extremists have used for decades to move the Republican Party to the right. But there is a different dynamic at play in this speakership crisis. Jordan and his allies created the crisis in the first place by supporting Trump’s demands to shut down the government, tossing out former speaker Kevin McCarthy because he would not agree to shut down the government, and refusing to abide by the vote of the Republican conference to accept the choice of the majority: first McCarthy and then Representative Steve Scalise (R-LA).

There is another way in which this moment is different. Jordan is a flamethrower who was one of the original organizers of the right-wing Freedom Caucus. Republicans saw McCarthy, who was an excellent fundraiser, as a pro-business Republican who worked with the far right, but Jordan is the real deal: a far-right extremist. Republican donors have already suggested they are not enthusiastic about working with him to fund Republican candidates.

The third way this moment is different is that putting Jordan in the speaker’s chair makes him, along with Trump, the face of the Republican Party going into the 2024 election. Representative Pete Aguilar (D-CA) previewed the many downsides of Jordan as speaker when he nominated Democratic minority leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) for the speaker’s chair. Aguilar blamed extremism and partisanship for the unprecedented chaos of the House and urged the Republicans to embrace bipartisanship to do the work the American people had sent them to Washington, D.C., to conduct. 

Aguilar noted that Jordan was “the architect of a nationwide abortion ban, a vocal election denier, and an insurrection inciter.” He has “spent his entire career trying to hold our country back, putting our national security in danger, attempting government shutdown after government shutdown, wasting taxpayer dollars on baseless investigations with dead ends, authoring the very bill that would ban abortion nationwide without exceptions, and inciting violence on this chamber. Even leaders of his own party have called him ‘a legislative terrorist.’” 

Aguilar pointed out Jordan’s opposition to disaster relief, veterans’ relief, support for Ukraine, and military aid to our allies, including Israel, and added: “This body is debating elevating a speaker nominee who has not passed a single bill in 16 years. These are not the actions of someone interested in governing or bettering the lives of everyday Americans.” Jordan as speaker would mean the Republican Party would “continue taking marching orders from a twice-impeached former president with more than 90 pending felony charges.”

Even without mentioning Jordan’s involvement with the cover-up of a sexual assault scandal at Ohio State, Aguilar put Republicans on notice that placing Jordan at the head of the party would have brutal consequences in Democratic campaign ads. 

When House members voted for speaker, the Democrats were unified behind Jeffries, who won all 212 of their votes. Jordan won only 200 of the 217 votes necessary to become speaker, with 20 Republicans voting for someone else. His allies initially said they would call a second vote tonight but changed their minds, apparently realizing that another loss would weaken his candidacy significantly. They say they will hold another vote tomorrow.

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[leanstooneside]

Confess and be hanged

Kathy Griffin's elbow (Other congenital malformations of hair)

Dave Navarro's forehead (Subluxation of lens, unspecified eye)

Jessica Biel's eye (Other hammer toe(s) (acquired), left foot)

James Franco's fist (Solitary bone cyst, left ulna and radius)

Simon Doonan's thigh (Malignant neoplasm of left orbit)

Carson Palmer's head (School (private) (public) (state) as the place of occurrence of the external cause)

Pitbull's eye (Chondrolysis, hip)

Kevin Federline's eye (Osseous and subluxation stenosis of intervertebral foramina of abdomen and other regions)

Tate Donovan's thigh (Chronic myeloid leukemia, BCR/ABL-positive, in remission)

Ryan Gosling's arm (Pedal cycle passenger injured in collision with fixed or stationary object in traffic accident)

Sean Combs's neck (Mixed pediculosis and phthiriasis)

Katharine McPhee's chin (Calcific tendinitis, right lower leg)

Katrina Bowden's back (Kernicterus, unspecified)

Balthazar Getty's hair (Toxic effect of contact with other venomous marine animals, assault)

Elizabeth Taylor's ear (Displaced trimalleolar fracture of left lower leg)

Kelsey Grammer's eye (Major laceration of left kidney)

Kerry Diamond's neck (Scrotal transposition)

Jason Lee's wrist (Papyraceous fetus, first trimester)

Josh Holloway's upper arm (Activity, swimming)

Desiree Hartsock's ear (Swimmer's ear, left ear)

Jared Leto's eyebrow (Pathological fracture, right hand)

Rumer Willis's eye (Lesion of plantar nerve)

Ramona Singer's arm (Other specified injury of intrinsic muscle and tendon at ankle and foot level, left foot)

Emily VanCamp's calf (Nicotine dependence, cigarettes, with withdrawal)

Jane Krakowski's fist (Other unilateral secondary osteoarthritis of hip)

Vince Vaughn's lower leg (Unspecified complication following infusion and therapeutic injection)

Olivia Palermo's shoulder (Laceration without foreign body of right back wall of thorax with penetration into thoracic cavity)

Russell Brand's wrist (Malignant neoplasm of left orbit)

Jackson Rathbone's belly (Primary cyst of pars plana, unspecified eye)

Garth Brooks's eyebrow (Nondisplaced fracture of anterior process of left calcaneus)

Adrian Grenier's nose (Military operations involving flamethrower, civilian)

Jesse Tyler Ferguson's hair (Retinal hemorrhage, left eye)

Martin Lawrence's ankle (Hemorrhagic disease of newborn)

Spencer Pratt's neck (Perforated corneal ulcer, unspecified eye)

Ashley Hebert's bottom (Major laceration of left kidney)

Hugh Jackman's bottom (Laceration of radial artery at wrist and hand level of left arm)

Paris Hilton's chin (Preterm labor without delivery, unspecified trimester)

Simon Cowell's arm (Contusion of small intestine)

Tila Tequila's cheek (Other superficial bite of hand of unspecified hand)

Jennifer Grey's toe (Injury of quadriceps muscle, fascia and tendon)

Brody Jenner's hip (Laceration without foreign body of back wall of thorax without penetration into thoracic cavity)

Ciara's hair (Diffuse cystic mastopathy of unspecified breast)

Molly Sims's chin (Urticaria due to cold and heat)

Luke Bryan's buttocks (Urticaria due to cold and heat)

Richard Gere's breast (Endometriosis of pelvic peritoneum)

Jensen Ackles's calf (Other ulcerative colitis with intestinal obstruction)

Teresa Giudice's head (Laceration of extensor muscle, fascia and tendon of left middle finger at forearm level)

Stavros Niarchos III's ear (Striatonigral degeneration)

Winona Ryder's thumb (Acute embolism and thrombosis of right femoral vein)

Scott Disick's forearm (Extranodal NK/T-cell lymphoma, nasal type)

[24worldnewsnet]

U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem testifies before the House Appropriations Homeland Security Subcommittee hearing on oversight of the Department of Homeland Security, on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C., on May 6, 2025.Kevin Lamarque | ReutersFederal immigration agents on Tuesday took into custody the family of Mohamed Soliman, the man accused of attempted murder in the fire attack on demonstrators in Colorado over the weekend, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem said.The White House's official X account tweeted about the family's detention and wrote, "THEY COULD BE DEPORTED AS EARLY AS TONIGHT."In a subsequent post, the White House said, "Six One-Way Tickets for Mohamed's Wife and Five Kids. Final Boarding Call Coming Soon."Noem said authorities are investigating whether Soliman's family knew about or supported Sunday's attack by the 45-year-old Egyptian national in Boulder on a group calling for the release of Israeli hostages by the militant group Hamas.Soliman is married with five children. The family lives in Colorado Springs."Today, @DHSgov and @ICEGov are taking the family of suspected Boulder, Colorado terrorist, and illegal alien, Mohamed Soliman, into ICE custody," Noem said in her post on X.Boulder attack suspect Mohamed Sabry Soliman poses for a jail booking photograph after his arrest in Boulder, Colorado, on June 2, 2025.Boulder Police Department | Via Reuters"This terrorist will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. We are investigating to what extent his family knew about this heinous attack, if they had knowledge of it, or if they provided support to it," Noem wrote."I am continuing to pray for the victims of this attack and their families. Justice will be served."Secretary of State Marco Rubio on Monday had warned, "In light of yesterday's horrific attack [n Colorado], all terrorists, their family members, and terrorist sympathizers here on a visa should know that under the Trump Administration we will find you, revoke your visa, and deport you."Soliman entered the U.S. legally in August 2022 on a visa that is typically issued to tourists, and applied for asylum the next month, according to the Department of Homeland Security, NBC News reported. The visa expired in February 2023, but Soliman has not exhausted legal efforts to remain in the U.S., according to NBC.Read more CNBC politics coverageTrump and China's Xi will likely talk very soon, White House official saysWhite House 'close to the finish line' on some trade deals: Treasury officialChina counters Trump's accusations of Geneva trade deal violationsElon Musk: I don't want responsibility for everything administration is doingTrump advisers defend tariffs amid legal fight, insisting they're 'not going away'EU 'prepared to impose countermeasures' after Trump doubles steel tariffs to 50%Pentagon chief says U.S. ready to 'fight and win' against ChinaPBS sues Trump over executive order to cut fundingCourt documents say Soliman told authorities he had plotted Sunday's attack for a year, and that he waited to execute it until after his daughter graduated from school.Soliman allegedly yelled "Free Palestine!" when he attacked the demonstrators with a makeshift flamethrower and Molotov cocktails, sending eight of them to the hospital with burns.He is charged in state court with multiple counts of attempted murder, assault and possession of an incendiary device. He is being held on $10 million bond in that case.Soliman is also charged in federal court with a hate crime related to him targeting the group because of their religion or ethnicity.Soliman told authorities after his arrest that he "wanted them all to die," according to Colorado Acting U.S. Attorney J. Bishop Grewell."He had no regrets, and he would go back and do it again," Grewell said.

[kariachi]

Here, have some pre-AF Kev&Argit ficlet. Just a moment in the life.

~~

“Keeev~”

Their shoddy excuse for a ship was small enough for Argit to be heard no matter where you were, from the bunks to the controls Kevin was elbow-deep in. Sure he wasn’t an expert yet, but he was learning fast. Had to, with fuckers frying their systems in that last escape. Argit’d had to stop him turning the sudden boat of a vehicle around.

The week had been hard enough, and only he was allowed to fry his stuff.

“What’s up out there,” he called back, pulling himself from the bits and bobs enough to look back and watch him slip into the cockpit with his unbroken hand behind his back and a smug grin on his muzzle.

“Who’s your favorite?” Kevin couldn’t help a snort and a smirk of his own.

“Not like there’s many options, Hedgehog.” There was all of one person he could rely on, when it came down to it, same as had been for the past few years.

“Yeah, but I wanna hear it.” With the most put-upon groan he could manage to get around his smile, rolling his eyes hard enough to move his head, Kevin turned completely around.

“You’re my favorite,” he said in his best attempt to sound like he was in pain despite his smile. Despite the way Argit smiled.

“Fuck yeah, I am!” Ears facing forward, Argit drew a bag from behind his back with a flourish, handing it over with a pleased noise.

Kevin's smile morphed into a grin, almost painfully wide, looking down on as much food as they’d eaten in the past week, warm and relatively fresh.

“Dude!!”

“Amazing what you can steal with a bit of arson.” He mirrored the laugh out of Kevin’s mouth, hopping up to sit on the control panel as the proper meal was divided up.

“If that’s what it takes, I’ll build you a fucking flamethrower.”

[avaveevo]

Ultra Opposites Characters (Updated Version)

Heroes

Terry/Solar Flare: Fire Powers Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: Ice Powers and Super Shlorpian Transformation Yumyulack/Psylock: Psychic and Mind Reading Powers Jesse/Electra: Electricity Powers The Pupa Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Super Strength and Flight Phoebe/Katana: Martial Arts and Weapon Summoning Janiz/Lady Super Shlorpian, Korvo's older sister: Martial Arts and Super Shlorpian Transformation Kimber/Skarlet: Blood Manipulation AISHA EVA, AISHA's Cousin MAX, a prototype AI Parker/Spider-Girl: Spiderman Powers Daryl/Dark Matter, Yumyulack's boyfriend: Psychic Powers Stacy G/Mightette, Jesse’s girlfriend: Super Strength Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: Flight and Laser Eyes Ms. Frankie/Shadow Lady: Martial Arts and Weapon Summoning Nova/Lady Roseus: Gift Kevin/The Flamethrower: Fire Breath Randall/Ultra Man: Super Strength and Flight Jaime/Firey: Fire Powers Darcy/Miss Darcina: Muscle Growth Ms. Perez/Shout Out: Sonic Scream Sherbet/Violet: Color Changing Powers Cherie/Agent Red: Martial Arts and Fire Powers Montez/The Master: Psychic Powers Pezlie/La Oscuridad: Shadow Powers Mia/Shine Light: Green Lantern Powers Janice/Master Smasher: Super Strength Monica/Acid Girl: Acid Powers Trevor/Tip-Shot: Laser Fingers Louise/Frostbyte: Ice Vision Dr. Weatherstone/Hurricane: Wind Manipulation

Villains

Ophelia: A space empress and The Ultra Opposites’ arch-nemesis Sister Sisto/Echo: A false prophet revived by Ophelia Nicholas Ronalds/Night Runner: A boy that Jesse used to be in love with until she learned that he was a mutant and dumped him Kitty: A spoiled brat who became a criminal after her parents cut off her allowance Captain Rusty: A robot pirate Stacey and Casey/The Phenomenal Twins: Former circus performers turned livestreamers Iron Knuckle: A former Russian wrestler who became a cyborg after he got into a giant accident during one of his matches Dr. Brain: Korvo and Janiz’s father Robo Korvo: An evil robot version of Korvo built by Ophelia Miss Songstress: A singer who wants Korvo’s musical talent to rule Earth Basilisk: A mutant fish with laser eyes

Janiz, EVA, and MAX are owned by me

Phoebe and Monica are owned by @themagicwolf6677

Parker is owned by @prospitdaydreamer