#kinda love how her hair is the same colour as the monkey in this ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[tragicotps]

Young Masriel AU > Based on the fic In winter, in Oxford by @three-atoms Lord Asriel Belacqua is recovering from an injury he sustained on an expedition and is stuck in Brytain, his life grinding to a frustrating halt. Mrs Marisa Coulter is married to the man likely to become the next prime minister and her life is going swimmingly, everything in its perfect place. The golden monkey dæmon has a mind of his own and does things he’s not supposed to.

They meet in Oxford on a winter’s night and a winter’s day, and everything changes, for better or worse.

[yespolkadotkitty]

So I read Elixir and I love how you write sex pollen and I was wondering if you could do one for our other federal agent, Marcus?

Jump Start

Warnings: smut. A lot of smut. Unbeta’d writing; soft Marcus. 

Words: 3,500

Summary: What if Marcus only went to DC for a while? And what if he came back for you?

Marcus: Still game for tonight?

You: Are you kidding? Cho and Lisbon have bigged up that Aladdin’s Cave for months. I’ll be there.

Marcus: You sure this is what you want for your birthday?

You: Yes.

Marcus: Okay then… Bring a pillow because I’ll probably bore you to sleep with all the art stories.

When the elevator doors part to reveal Agent Marcus Pike, you’re standing by the door to the lock-up. A smile lights up his face when he sees you, and your heart bumps hard in your chest. He slides his hands in his pocket, a blush creeping up his neck.

“Happy birthday.”

“Thanks, Marcus.”

He ducks his head, a little shy. You know he isn’t always. You’d seen him in the interview room a few times last year, when your team and his had co-run a case. Watched his eyes go hard, his face stern. He’d slammed a file down on the desk inches from a suspect’s face and the surprisingly rough side to him had made you shiver.

Lisbon had sent you a knowing look and you’d ignored her.

She’d had her chance and she’d blown it, and frankly you didn’t want to know what she and Marcus had shared; how close they’d been.

Marcus had gone to DC after that. A year’s undercover work has helped him heal, you think. Get his head back in the game.

He came back for another co-op case, and thankfully, Lisbon and Jane had been away on honeymoon then.

You and Marcus had worked this one together, sometimes late into the night, sharing take-out and anecdotes from other old cases, and then, you’d started hanging out, a little.

He’s interesting. Funny. Friendly. Panty-melting gorgeous.

Heart-stoppingly gorgeous.

Cho dropped that it was your birthday at last week’s after-work drinks, and then Marcus had texted offering you a tour of the art lock up. You’d been rota’d off the day Cho and Lisbon got to see it, last year.

Patrick Jane hadn’t been allowed in. Marcus had muttered something about sticky fingers when you’d asked him about it.

“You ready?” He ducks his head to buss your cheek and you meet him halfway, breathing him in, minty gum, sandalwood, and the gourmet coffee he hides in his office. He shared it with you once and it’s like him, memorable, decadent, addictive.

“Ready.” You pull away, reluctantly, wanting him, but he’s never given you any overt hints that he sees you as anything more than a colleague.

He and Lisbon are cordial to each other when they meet, but for all you know, he’s still pining over her.

You daren’t ask; you don’t want to know the answer.

Marcus punches in a code to the first gate, then plucks the rings of keys from his pocket and opens the dinner door of the lock-up, a smile playing on his scruffy face. He grew the patchy beard during his time in DC and it really suits him, highlights his beautiful jaw and makes his soulful eyes a deeper brown.

This time on a Saturday, no one else is around.

“A private museum,” you breathe as you see all the paintings, sculptures and other art set carefully in frames or on desks or custom made plinths.

“Yeah, I always feel like Aladdin.” He scoffs at himself. “I say that every time. What a dork.”

You turn and grin at him. “I like it. You’re an art geek. It’s sexy.” The words are out of your mouth before you can stop them.

Marcus’ brow wings up. “That so?”

“Um, sure.” You duck your head, embarrassed. “So. Tell me some art stories,  Special Agent Pike. What’s new here?”

He brightens, soulful chocolate eyes going wide for just a moment. “Well. There’s this equine sculpture. Maker’s mark is Italian but we seized it during a raid for paintings. Wasn’t expecting it.” He snaps on white gloves and offers you a pair, then gently turns over the statue to show you the swirling signature on the bottom. “We’re still not sure where the other two are.”

You trace a gloved finger over the horse’s detailed mane, wrought perfectly in cherrywood. “Other two?

“Sure. This is part of a set. You can tell here-” he points out a divot in the base that you wouldn’t even have noticed, and another on the opposite end. “And here. The two connecting statues are missing - other horses, I’d guess.”

“Wow.”

Marcus sets the horse down and meets your gaze. “You bored yet?”

“Nope! More!”

He chuckles indulgently. “Okay. Why don’t you choose.”

You wander around the various lock-up cages for a while, examining instruments, more statues, even a huge quilt that looks woven with gold.

After a few moments, a painting about your height catches your eye. It’s an orgy, but tastefully done, painted in shades of amber and gold, the bodies fluid, enchanting.

“I’ve never seen such a… soft depiction of a group bang,” you smile.

Marcus’s eyes crinkle at the corners. “That came in last week. Rumour has it, the artist was quite the lothario back in the 1800s. A steady stream of, ah, callers to his penthouse in Florence. The accounts of his sexual prowess are something else.”

“I bet.” You eye the curves of the women in the painting; she looks soft, welcoming, her eyes closed in ethereal bliss. “So, how’d you get this?”

“Allegedly, found in an attic. We went to the house to pick it up. The man who gave it to me - said they just moved in - seemed kinda high.” Marcus’ brow furrows. “Very mellow. Pretty sure he’d been smoking something. He was half-dressed.”

You crouch, examine the painting more closely. “And you didn’t… arrest him?”

Marcus shrugs. “Art’s our deal. I did note the address with a colleague in the DEA, so if it gets flagged again, they’ll investigate.”

Something about the painting keeps you enraptured. You spy a little notch in the frame. “Do you think something’s hidden in here?”

Marcus bends next to you to examine the area you point to. He’s been working today, so he still wears his suit, the red tie the little bit of flash he allows himself on the job. His scent weaves around you, the lick of coffee, the gasp of mint, and something uniquely Marcus.

“It looks like something…. Comes undone?”

You both lean in together, and you edge your gloved finger along the groove in the ornate gold-effect frame.

Marcus does the same from the other end. “Wow,” he breathes. “A hidden compartment?” Then his eyebrows shoot up as part of the frame depresses under his finger, clicking. He grins hugely. “Well, now I really do feel like Aladdin.”

“Don’t suppose you’ve got a little monkey wearing a fez around here, do you?” You tease.

“Maybe a magic carpet. I-”

He’s cut off when a hissing noise pops from the painting. You and Marcus both lean in to try and hear it more closely, and just when you get close, powder sprays from the frame, light gold in colour and smelling faintly musty.

You cough, reeling back, your hands over your face. “Gross.”

Marcus steps back too, wiping a gloved hand over his face and examining the golden-hued powder on the cotton fabric. “What the hell-”

You slowly sit down on the floor. “I feel… sort of dizzy. Hot.”

Marcus crosses to you, crouching in front of you, and if you didn’t feel so discombobulated, you would appreciate the closeness of him, the amber shot through his irises, the slight curl of his cowlick. “I’ll go get help. Maybe some water?”

You’re burning up. A slow dance starts in the pit of your belly, something that you think was always there, maybe, but intensified now Marcus is so close. “Please don’t go.”

His brow furrows in concern. “Of course.” He smoothes a gloved hand over your hair, and then you see it; the change in his eyes, the way they go dark and hot. “I… what the fuck is this stuff? I feel…”

You clutch at his forearms, feeling the play of lean muscle under his suit. “What if…. What if this was the reason that painter was such a, um, lothario?”

Marcus’ gaze has dropped to your mouth and at your words, he blinks. “What? Oh. Oh.”

“Yeah,” you say slowly. “Marcus, I…”

He stands up, backing away. “I can’t be near you. Not when I want… I can’t.”

You reach out to him. “What if you stayed?”

He gazes down at you, longing in those bottomless eyes, and now you can clearly see the outline of the powder’s effect on him. “I can’t. Can’t do that to you.”

A flash of hope pierces the haze descending on you. “You want to? Because of the.. Stuff,” you finish lamely.

An expression of half desire, half pain, sketches itself over Marcus’ features. “I’ve wanted to for a while. That night we worked late.” He’s half-panting now, the fingers of one hand curled around the wall of his side of the lock-up. “Wanted to take you over the desk. I - fuck- can’t do it.”

You make to move. “Marcus-”

“Not like this,” he groans, that voice of sin and sex dropping half an octave, California with a lick of the drawl of Texas. “Not… like this.”

“Don’t go!” You beg. Your insides are burning up for him. If he’d just touch you. Just for a moment.

Marcus is shaking his head, fumbling with the door on this section of the lock-up. You lunge for him but he pulls the door closed, locking you in and him out.

He turns the key, then tosses the ring across the room.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. Not like this. Goes against everything.”

“But I want you,” you say. You crawl over to the fencing separating you. “At least… touch my hand.”

You pull your gloves off, slide your fingers through the holes in the mesh.

Marcus takes his gloves off too, tangles his fingers with your the best he can. He sighs deeply. “I had this whole date thing planned. Dinner at an Italian that reminds me of a place I ate at in my gap year.”

“Marcus,” you whisper. “So you do really like me.”

He groans. “Sweetheart, I haven’t been able to think about anything but you since I got back from DC, and there you were, pretty as a picture, working late with me, sharing Chinese food. Making me laugh.”

You swallow, wanting him so badly it hurts. Every inch of you burns for him.

“I wanted to go slow,” he rasps out. “I know I jump in. Get overexcited. But with you.. I wanted to do it right. Fuck.” With his free hand he, almost unconsciously, palms himself through his suit pants, his eyes rolling back. “What the hell is this drug?”

You hungrily follow the path of his hand with your gaze. “Lothario, remember?”

“I remember.” Marcus groans, pressing the heel of his hand against his erection. He’s sitting awkwardly. “Bastard.”

“Marcus.” You squeeze his hand. “I want this. I want you. It’s lonely up on that white horse.”

He shakes his head, vehement. “It’s….not… not right.”

You press against the caging and just the pressure of the mesh on your breasts makes you moan. “So I can’t touch you, and you won’t touch me, but you also won’t leave me.” You watch him squeeze his eyes shut, look at the tent in his suit pants. “Touch yourself.”

His eyes pop open. “What?”

“If you won’t leave and you won’t… give in to whatever this is, although I want you more than I’ve wanted any man, ever…. Let me see you.”

A bead of sweat rolls down his forehead as he looks at you, big brown eyes considering. He’s weighing every option. Marcus is thoughtful, considered. Considerate. He always thinks two steps ahead, encompasses everyone in plans and strategies.

But he’s blindsided by this, and you can’t say it isn’t sexy as hell to see him unravel this way.

“Please,” you add, holding his gaze.

He squeezes your fingers and the air changes between you, and then he leans heavily against the mesh and you take the opportunity to stroke his hair, a little, and it’s so soft. Feels like silk, and you have to touch more of him, but maybe you’ll get to at least see more, so you will your breathing to calm, just a bit, as he fumbles one-handedly with his belt buckle and then slides the zipper of his suit pants down to reveal plain grey boxers, darkened in the centre by a damp patch, and your throat is so dry.

“Have you…” your heart bumps hard, the rush of seeing new parts of Marcus making you even dizzier. “Ever gotten off in this evidence locker before?”

“Can’t say I have.” Marcus’ gaze stays on your face, earnest. “I can go. I can just go.”

“Please. Please don’t go. Come in.”

“Can’t do that.” He closes his eyes; looks like he is silently praying for the power to resist you. His fingers curl into the parted edge of his suit pants.

“Let me see you?”

He sucks in a deep breath, then exhales shakily. “This is not how I planned to seduce you. Just so you know.”

Your pulse rabbits. “You seduce me every moment, Marcus. With every sweet text. Every time you smile at me. All your art stories. When you say my name. Your voice, oh God.”

Marcus’ hand trembles as he holds your gaze through the wire mesh of the lock-up, and he finally, finally parts the opening of the plain grey boxers and draws himself out, and you just drink him in with your eyes, the shape of him, the swollen tip, his length and girth, the curling hair at his base. It looks as silky as the hair on his head and you hear yourself groan needily.

“Marcus.”

He fists himself, his gaze hot on yours. “Not how I planned this date,” he repeats. “I feel like I’m on fire for you.” He rasps out your name and you watch his hand move, and suddenly it’s too much, the heat between your legs cannot be ignored, and you shove your skirt up and mirror Marcus on the floor.

His head jerks around. “Fuck,” he hisses.

“Never knew you had such a potty mouth,” you half-gasp, half-tease.

“For you, I’ll do whatever you want with my mouth.”

You groan at that as you circle your clit with a finger.

Marcus almost growls “Underwear off, I want to see.” His voice, that voice, is gentle-rough, and you think of the day you watched him in the interview room.

“Whatever you say, Agent Pike.”

“Christ.” He’s jacking off in earnest now, his gaze riveted to you as you pull off your underwear with one hand, letting it fall wherever. Your skirt is rucked up around your hips and the fact it’s Marcus watching you is a huge turn on, but honestly you’re not sure if you could have stopped, for anything.

Your combined pants fill the space. You’ve never been so wet. When you slide two fingers inside yourself the sound is obscene.

“It’s.. a wonder..  He ever got… any painting done,” Marcus grits out.

You laugh. “Now?  You wanna talk about art now?”

He huffs. “Art is the reason we’re here. Like this.” Then he sucks in a breath and you look down at him, his balls drawn up tight, his cock wet with his own pre-come.

“Marcus Matthew Pike, I swear to God, if you don’t get in here right now, I will never ever speak to you again.”

He hesitates.

“I swear on Van Gogh’s ear,” you add, your internal muscles fluttering.

Marcus half-yanks up his pants, scrabbles for the key. The seconds feel like hours until he appears again, boxers and pants around his knees, shirt tails hanging, and he opens the mesh door and you yank him in and kiss him and you tumble to the floor together, and Marcus grabs both your wrists and pins them above you with one hand, his face dark and determined, and it makes your heart pound.

“Please,” you grate out. “Marcus. I need you.” You spread your legs and try to hook your feet over his calves, but he shakes his head.

“Not yet. Sweetheart, not yet.” He curls your fingers into the wire of the mesh. “Hold on. Don’t… don’t touch me. I wanna make it good for you, first.”

You hear yourself keen his name as he shucks off his clothes from the waist down, then slides down your body and puts that gorgeous mouth to work. Your favourite thing he did with his mouth until now was talking, but this-

Maybe he’s writing his name, maybe he’s writing a sonnet, but whatever it is, the way he curls his tongue is obscene, and you don’t know if it’s partly the drug, but when he puts two fingers inside you, you come so hard you almost black out. And then lust rears its head again and you grab for him, carding one hand through his hair and cupping him with the other, and he’s slick in your palm and the ridges and heat of his cock feel so good.

“Marcus.” You fist a hand in his hair, pull a little, and he groans and pants, and you take the opportunity to pump him in your fist until he swears under his breath.

"Condom. Oh fuck. Condom."

He hesitates, then drops a soft kiss on your lips - your first, you think, a bit giddy - and you taste yourself, and he licks into your mouth and whispers your name and it's pure, unadulterated bliss.

Then he extricates himself, rummages in his suit pants, and as soon as he has the foil square in his hand you grab for him, pulling him down on top of you.

"After this," you murmur, "you're gonna bend me over the desk." And you roll the condom down his dick and he lets out a long, slow breath and pushes inside you and it's everything.

Everything inside you quiets for a moment that stretches as he starts to move, caging you in with his braced forearms, and you look into his dark chocolate eyes and his heart is on his face, with Marcus it always is. It's your favourite thing about him.

He nibbles at your lips as you make love to eachother, and you hook your legs around his hips to stop him pulling out too much. You want him close, want to feel his skin under your hands. The buttons of his shirt rasp against your dress, and if you were more aware you might think it's ridiculous, him bringing you to orgasm with you both half dressed in the floor of the art squad lock-up, but you can't care. Not when his cock hits you right there, and then you're keening his name and he tumbles over the cliff edge with you, pressing hard in those final thrusts as your muscles milk him.

You curl around him. "Marcus."

He sighs, presses his forehead to yours. "Was that… are you okay?"

You chuckle lazily. "I've never been more okay."

He cuddles you close, nosing at your cheek, murmuring sweet nothings. "Christ, what is this stuff? I could go again."

At his words desire rears its head. "There must be a desk in here somewhere, right?"

And his eyes go hot.

And that's how you find yourself bent over a desk recovered from an abandoned shipping off, the edges intricately gilded. You cling to them as Marcus fucks you hard and fast, just the way he'd fantasised about, and it's so good that you sob his name over and over.

Afterwards he cuddles you so gently, stroking your hair as he whispers praises about how good you felt around him, how next time he's gonna give you a bed covered in rose petals.

You shake your head, kissing him deeply, helping him into his jacket. "You're all I want, Marcus. Any way I can have you."

A flush colours his cheeks as he cups your cheeks. "Dinner? Let me take you out to dinner."

"I'd rather have it in bed. Have you in bed."

His eyes go wide for a second. "The drug.."

"This isn't the drug and you know it." You loop your arms around his neck. "It just jump-started us. Never been so grateful to a horny nineteenth century painter."

Marcus laughs out loud, hugs you, then releases you to hold your hand, tug you towards the elevator. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me. You know that, right?"

Happiness unfurls slowly inside you. "I could stand to hear it again."

Tagging the Pedro pals! @soldade @beccaplaying @heatherbel @mourningbirds1 @alldatalost @songsformonkeys @agirllovespasta @nelba @chews-erotically @mrschiltoncat @gamingaquarius @alienprincesspoop @dornish-queen @lackofhonor @agentpike @jaime1110 @thegreenkid @pedropascallion   @mrsparknuts @buckstaposition @winters-buck @oloreaa @mstgsmy @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @holographic-carmen @cryptkeepersoul @alwaysbethewest @poenariuniverse @starlight-starwrites @keeper0fthestars @alwaysbethewest @kindablackenedsuperhero @abuttoncalledsmalls @f0rever15elf

And @arch-venus25 did you wanna be tagged in Pedro stuff?

[anotherbeingsworld]

The day we met.

Pairing: Bryce Lahela  X F!MC (Casey Valentine) 

Rating: G 

Word count: 1440 

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters, it all belongs to Pixelberry. 

Author’s note: Hi, this is my first time writing in a while and i have the courage of posting this! So, this is sort of a different version for when MC and Bryce meet. I love their first meet up in the first book, but this is kinda like an alternate timeline-ish! Its full of fluff since i’m a sucker for fluffiness hehe! Also, I want to say thank you to @annekebbphotography​ for her advice that she has given to me before, it really helped! Also, i want to say thank you to @maria-soederberg​ for reading it and helping me with this story! She had helped me a lot and THANK YOU to you both! Go check out their stories tooo! Also, to all the fic writers on tumblr for inspiring me to post this! You guys are awesome for putting your work out there! <3 

______________________________________________________________

It is a beautiful day in Boston, the sun is shining, the birds are singing on this wonderful afternoon. The park was packed with people who was interested in relaxing time. There were those who are walking their dogs, families who are having a picnic and even a group of kids playing on the playground.

And then there’s Casey Valentine, doctor at Edenbrook Hospital, smiling widely at the prospect of the day. She and her friends are on their day-off from the hospital, and their daily routine such as work, and the sound of distress.

She was playing Frisbee with her roommates Sienna, Jackie, Elijah, and including Elijah’s girlfriend Phoebe. They had a rough start, since none of them are professionals. But, after a long tutorial on all social media platforms which approximately took an hour before all of them to got the idea of how to play Frisbee. The more they play, the better they get.

‘Casey, go long!’ Sienna shout as she released the Frisbee in her way. Casey was determined to catch it, but eventually ended up falling and bumping into someone.

‘Ouch!’ She squealed as her body crashes into the person opposite her. The mystery person stood up, and picks up the Frisbee which had flown a few steps away ahead of her.

He offered his arm to help Casey up, as an apology for running into her. Casey took his hand, and ended up frozen on the spot. His brown eyes, hypnotizing her for a moment that felt like an eternity, his hair was a bold choice, which she didn’t mind at all and his body was something that should be framed into a museum or even being placed into an art gallery.

After it felt like an eternity, Casey was pulled back into reality as her friends ran to check on her. Sienna immediately placed her hand on her wrist to check her pulse, along with the stranger who is looking at her in a concern demeanour.

‘Casey! Are you alright?’ Sienna asked her.

She rubbed her elbow, and nod to her. Casey accept his offer, and gets up with the help of Bryce after being in a wild imagination about this attractive man in front of her.

‘I’m going to say sorry, but now I am not sorry because it led me to the presence of a beautiful girl.’ The man said whilst flirting with her.

She felt her cheeks burn at his comment, she gazes towards Sienna and Jackie who are giggling at the whole scene. She felt her blush increasing as Sienna whispered something into Jackie’s ear that made them both smile. You could compare the smile with children who got free passes to Disneyland. There would be no difference.

‘My name’s Bryce and I think, I should let you go back to the game.’ He flashed a smile and was about to leave when Sienna called.

‘Bryce, let’s play Frisbee together! We’re dividing into teams of two, you should join us.’ Sienna said to him, making him instantly nod at the suggestion.

‘Good, now Casey c’mon!’ Sienna dragged her arm as they made their way back to Elijah and Phoebe who are in a deep conversation with each other.

‘We’re doing this two versus two; Me and Sienna, Elijah and Phoebe, Bryce and Casey! No questions!’ Jackie announced as they get into position.

Casey nervously made her way to Bryce who’s grinning at her presence, she smiled back but cannot contain her blush to appear when she is around him. Soon, the game commence and the teams play furiously. Jackie’s new profound focus, along with Elijah’s intellect skills caused Casey to feel a bit nervous. Bryce seems to notice and immediately placed his hands into hers, giving her a piece of comfort to ease her nerves. And it helped Casey to play perfectly with Bryce which lead to the fact that they won many games.

Both Bryce and Casey cheered for their victory, and Casey immediately pulled Bryce into a tight hug without realizing what she has done. When the adrenaline ebbs away they suddenly realise in what situation they are and instantly pull away with blushes on their cheeks. Sienna and Jackie both giggle at the ‘incident’ which causes Casey to hide her face in her hands.

 After a dozen of rematches, the sun is finally settling down. Which makes them end the game with the winners being Elijah and Phoebe. They decided to celebrate the victory with a date that was due for a long time. Sienna and Jackie said their goodbyes to Bryce as they headed back to the apartment leaving Casey and Bryce alone at the park as the sun is setting down.

‘You wanna stay for a while, I have a sweet spot to watch the sunset.’ He offered. She didn’t hesitate and nods, not wanting her day with Bryce to end yet. They took a small hike to a secluded hilltop which is a few miles away from the park.

After a few minutes of hiking, they arrived at the top of the hill and Casey is speechless. The view is amazing, they can see everything from up here. They even arrived on time to see the beautiful sunset, letting the sky changes its colours. 

 Both of them sat quietly with each other, admiring  the beauty of nature. Casey suddenly felt exhausted and her head started to feel heavy, so without her really noticing, her head falls onto his shoulder. But then she quickly stood up, and apologized. Bryce just shook his head, pulled her back next to her and offered his shoulder as they sit and watch the beautiful sunset. They both collecting back their energy after the game of Frisbee.

 The night became darker every second, as Bryce walked her home. They stop in front of the apartment and nobody moved. A voice inside of her screamed to not let him go yet, but she’ll be selfish wouldn’t she?

Casey took a deep breath as she stared into Bryce’s eyes as his eyes wanders over her body. Both of them knew that they don’t want it to end, but some things have to end somehow.

‘I guess this is it’

‘Unfortunately’ she muttered under her breath.

‘Hey, I had a lot of fun today. I never knew bumping into someone would turn this day into an adventure.’ Bryce said happily.

Casey smiled at his comment, ‘I had fun too, and thank you for showing me the spot. It’s truly a wonder.’

‘I’d like to do that again sometime, if you want. If you insist-‘ Bryce was stopped by Casey placing a sweet kiss on his cheek

He smiled and they decided to trade numbers with each other, and another sneaky kiss from Bryce before they parted ways. Casey is now laying on her bed, smiling at the events that occurred today. Little did she know, Bryce was doing the same thing.

The next day, she woke up bright and early to get to her shift at the hospital. A walk to the hospital was a breeze as Casey spared all the details to Sienna about her ‘date’ with Bryce the other day.

The day was filled with a busy shift for all the senior residents, interns and surgeons. An accident at the Grand Bridge occurred causing the hospital to be busier than usual but the good news, they were no deaths involved. Casey stepped out of the busy ER, and decided to get to her lunch break. She was distracted by thinking about the cure for Mr Razier’s disease, which ended up making her bump into someone once again.

She immediately apologize for her clumsiness, but instead she froze. It was him, Bryce. He was making his way to her direction as he bumped into her. He was wearing a pair of green scrubs. He looks different in his working attire but in a good way. Casey immediately stood up offering her arm to Bryce as he took it.

‘I wished for this moment to a shooting star last night, and I cant believe it vame true’ Bryce said as he winked at her.

She blushed and said, ‘I didn’t know you work here, and we always happen to be bumping into each other.’

‘Well, I wouldn’t mind seeing your beautiful face once more.’ As he said that, she felt her spine shiver at those words. She took a deep breath, and faces him.

‘I’m having lunch, you want to join me?’ 

‘Well, never say no to free stuff right? Loser buys the other one lunch!’ Bryce said before sprinting forward leaving Casey to catch up from behind.

‘I’m coming for you Bryce!’ She let out a giggle before catching up to him. 

Maybe this year is gonna be fun after all.  

THE END.

 Authors note #2: I hope you all enjoy it! Its been a while since I write, I apologize for any language mistakes since English is not my first language. Dont forget to like and reblog, it helps with to ease the nerves (*insert monkey covering its eyes emoji*), and thank you for reading! <3 

[afoxysunny]

Ziggy as Mouse the Mighty

I struggled so so much with him on every stage until completion that's why he had to wait for last

With just Stephanie as his main positive influence while growing up Ziggy took a lot longer to get a handle on his sugar addiction. As a kid he regularly ate nothing but candy until he got sick to his stomach. Only once he started puberty his tastebuds changed a little and slowly he was able to tolerate too much sweetness less and less. He still loves to eat everything sweet but mostly things that actually can count as meals instead of just lollipops all day every day.

Here are the references i used for his design

I was so lost and absolutely clueless what to do for his design even after settling on giving him the Mouse Miraculous. So much so that i ranted about it to my mom who just said "a mouse superhero sounds really simple, just a mouse and a superhero" and, god, bless her, that just clicked for me

Why does he look most like a magical girl out of all of them? I sure can't tell you but I'm kind of loving it!

Design Notes:

Mouse Superhero - look, Ziggy is a simple guy and Superhero trash. He hears he gets to be a mouse superhero so when he transforms he gets the most cliché parts of mouse and superhero. Once that idea clicked with my mind the design itself luckily went pretty smooth

Cape - of cause he needs a cape, there will never be a Ziggy without cape that's just not an option. How fortunate that this entire outfit is magic, otherwisr the cape and the jumprope would absolutely get tangled with each other

Hair - he already has very light blond hair canonically but i think they'd be a little darker now that he's grown up a bit. With the transformation they turn light again almost like loosing a little bit of their saturation to be a little closer to the Mouse Miraculous, Mullo's colour. Also i went for the cliché hairstlye of "lol buns for ears" that is the most obvious answer for when you want to combine a human and an animal

Jumprope - I debated a lot whether he gets actual mouse ears or not but because i wanted the jumprope to kinda act like a headband i didn't think that'd be pleasant to have around actual ears. That mostly came about because i really wanted to give him that iconic superhero belt with the same symbol that's on his chest; it's the symbol for the mouse Miraculous

Miraculous Necklace - with the transformation the pendant from the necklace turns into the closure of his cape. I'm so happy how well that blended into the design

Colours - hot take incoming: Ziggy may be my least favorite out of the Lazytown kids but i still like him a lot, i just happen to like the others better. Still i can say with great confidence that his in show design is so cute and colourful and recognizable i was so so lost, like how do you combibe that with a literal grey mouse? His outfit is blue, red, yellow and white while Mullo's colours consist of grey, black and pink. I ditvhed the red for the pink, the white got replaced with a light grey, dropped black and yellow almost completely they remained for just one detail each his hair and the pendant, the blue goes well with pink so that's what i settled on. Pink, blue and grey

Reasoning:

Like i said, he was the last one i found a Miraculous for. He and Jives tied in my decision for which one of them should get the monkey or the mouse. In retrospect it shouldn't have been so hard but I'm choosing to believe that just feels this way because the choice i made fits so well.

Ziggy is a little coward in the show and even dresses up as a mouse at one point when he, Trixie and Stephanie play wild animals. He also was the smallest (not anymore) and of cause still is the youngest. It just overall fits him really well. (as funny as i found the idea to give Jives, the tallest one, the mouse miraculous)

Story:

I'll be real with you, i thought up the least story for him simply because while i was still busy struggling with his design the others were already done and started spawning stories on their own. And Ziggy, in the show and even both musicals, just fits into the plot more for worldbuilding than to actually impact the plot so finding a place for him in a whole new story is a little hard for me.

Not to say i have nothing though.

Having always been borderline obsessed with superheroes but equally so with sugary sweets Ziggy mostly just dreamt of saving the world like they do in movies. However, every Miraculous grants everyone super human strength, agility, almost completely immunity to damage and other capabilities. Getting literally handed a free ticket to badassery Ziggy quickly becomes the posterchild for what is possible with such an opportunity. Simply through the concentrated power of will and excitement and his theoretical knowledge of how to be a cool hero he excels in training despite being easily the least fit out of all of them.

Yes, the first couple times when facing danger he has the impulse to use his Miraculous to run away and hide but when push comes to shove he's always there to help his friends any way he can. He's not the best with thinking of innovative ways to use his powers but he's great at following orders and putting his trust in the others thanks to his deep rooted respect for all of his friends.

Sometimes his seemingly natural talent can create trouble though. For example Pixel gets a littlw jealous over how effortlessly Ziggy seems to beat him in any aspect of their training despite logically not being in shape for any of it. But they're friends, they can talk about things, and Pixel knows that Ziggy isn't doing any of this on purpose to show off or anything, he's really just enjoying himself and their powers come easier with confidence

It also has a few drawbacks for Ziggy though. Literally not having to work hard at all and still getting to be an absolute powerhouse does not do well for his already bad habits with junkfood and exercising. He and Jives once agreed that Ziggy gets to eat anything Jives doesn't want but in the end that just leads to both of them getting extra meals from Sportacus and Robbie to make sure they don't go overboard in either direction

Name:

God, names are so not my strength, yet i think it kind of works for Ziggy here. His name is structured differently than any other alias because when he first transformed he had to hold a short over the top inspirational speech and end with "for I will do all i can to bring peace and normality back to this town for i am Mouse the Mighty!" He's extra like that. Even as a teen he's still baby.

Wow, damn, you really read all of that! Thank you so so much for listening to all my rambling this means the world to me. Thank you

[cherylblsom]

The Definition of Perfect - Ch.5

(A/N): Hello its been 40000 years but here's an update ok love u bye

Pairing: Cheryl Blossom x Toni Topaz

Word Count: 2,937

Warnings: some swearing & mention of death, that’s all!

Read it on AO3

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 

**flashback**

“I think we have a longer extension cord in the basement” Cheryl says from her position leaning on the wall. “That way we don’t have to reconfigure the whole design”

Toni nods and stands up from where she was crouched under one of the cribs, the other one is still in pieces on the floor but at least they’re making progress. They still had a couple months but Cheryl being her typical in control self had insisted they get the nursery all set up and ready as soon as possible. The room still smells faintly of fresh paint, Toni had finished the mural on the wall a couple days ago and whenever Cheryl glances at it a smile crosses her face. The background is a swirl of dreamy blues and deep greens with hints of bright colours poking through. There are various animals littered throughout the landscape  interacting with one another. A tiger prowling in the background, a group of zebras drinking from a river and colourful birds soaring above it all are just some of the creatures. Cheryl’s favourite is the elephant with a monkey sitting on its trunk eating a banana. The words “the world is yours” are painted in cursive writing at the top, both a reminder to her and the future of her twins. Cheryl turns her attention to another section of the wall where the cribs are going to be once they’re both built, the walls here carry on with the jungle theme and clouds are painted above where the babies names will be painted in, they’re blank right now since the couple is still in the deciding phase.

“Cher?” Toni says again causing her wife to snap out of her daze. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah babe, just thinking about how our lives are about to change. Taking it all in”

“I get that” she replies, she comes up to Cheryl from behind her and wraps her arms around her before pressing a kiss to her cheek. The couple stand there for a moment, letting the silence settle in and enjoying the calm while they can. Cheryl can feel Toni rubbing her belly in gentle even strokes and she hums happily.

***

“Is this the part where I finally find out why you’ve banished me from the nursery for days?”

“Yes, now shut up and close your eyes”

“Hey now that’s no way to talk to your pregnant wife” Cheryl retorts and she lets her eyes flutter shut and reaches out for Toni’s hand. She’s lead slowly through the hallway and towards the nursery.

“Okay aanaand… open!” Toni says, she’s trying to keep her excitement at an acceptable level but she can feel herself beaming as Cheryl slowly opens her eyes and takes in her surroundings.

The room has completely transformed since the last time she saw it, for one both the cribs are complete and moved into their spots against the wall. But the walls which had previously just been blank or covered with a simple pattern were now transformed into an underwater theme, with fish and turtles and seahorses swimming among the seaweed and coral reefs. One side of the room remained as a jungle theme, the way Cheryl had last seen it but Toni had worked her magic and transformed the other side into the ocean. Cheryl smiles, tears coming to her eyes as she repeatedly tells Toni how much she loves the room and her.

“I knew you couldn’t decide between the two… so I figured why not make it both?” She leans in and pulls Cheryl against her lips, kissing her deeply.

-

Toni sits beside Veronica, her head resting on her shoulder as she takes deep breaths. She’s doing her absolute best to stay calm while the doctors help Cheryl and their baby girl but she’s starting to get increasingly upset and angry that no one has even so much as been out to update her yet. It’s been almost 30 minutes.

“I remember when I found out Cheryl was pregnant” Veronica says suddenly, she laughs a little to herself as she recalls the memory. “She was so upset it didn’t go according to plan. That I found out before because of her throwing up into a mall garbage can”

“Oh god” Toni says, she reaches up to wipe her face with the sleeve of her sweater. “I swear she had it planned out from the moment she found out she was pregnant. Typical Cheryl always planning down to the last detail”

“What exactly was her plan? She never actually told me.”

“Well I have to hand it to her because it was actually a pretty good idea. I tried to convince her to just do a cute card or something but that didn’t fly of course, it was ‘lacking flame’ as she so elegantly put it.”

“Yeah that sure sounds like Cheryl” Veronica laughs lightly shaking her head at the thought of the pair arguing over the topic.

“It was pretty simple though. She was just going to invite you over for dinner and drop subtle hints all night and see how long it took you to pick up on it.”

“Oh my god!” Veronica replies “please tell me she would have said something about buns in the oven”

“Yes!” Toni says, laughter escaping her lips. “That was the first one she came up with, and then every time she thought of a new one she would go ‘aha that’s brilliant’ and write it down”

“That’s too good oh my god, kinda sad I didn’t get to witness Cheryl cracking off pregnancy jokes”

“Oh trust me she was upset, came home crying and everything. I thought something was seriously wrong and when she told me I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at her. Such a drama queen”

“Excuse me?” The doctor suddenly says from beside them. “I hate to interrupt, but Cheryl is out of surgery. She’s doing really well”

“And the baby?” Toni and Veronica say in almost perfect unison.

“A happy and healthy baby girl. Your son is doing well too” He says smiling. Toni let’s out a loud sigh of relief and can already feel tears of joy forming in her eyes. “Feel free to go see them anytime, same room as before”

-

**flashback**

Toni runs her finger over the thick glass of the picture frame, when she pulls it away there’s a visible streak in the glass and her finger has a thin layer of grime and dust on it. She blows on her finger softly and watches the dust particles float through the air. A smile forms on her lips as she focuses her gaze back on the photo, it’s a picture of Uktena tribe her grandfather was a part of. Her grandfather was just a baby back then, there’s years of history in these photos. She puts it down and picks up another photo from the box that’s just of her grandfather. Thomas. He’s older this time and holding a jacket with the Southside Serpents logo on it. There’s a huge grin painted on his face, he was the founder of the serpents and together they gave Toni a family from a very young age. It’s been years since her grandfather died but she still feels her heart swell at the photo and tears starting to form in her eyes and she rifles through the box of his things.

“Toni?” She hears her wife call faintly, but she’s so lost in her own thoughts and emotions that she forgets to reply. “Where are you?”

Cheryl had just gotten home from clothing shopping with Veronica, because leave it to her to ensure the twins would be elegantly dressed before they’re even born. She walks slowly around the house checking each room before she finds the stairs to the attic open. She calls her wife’s name again but doesn’t get a response so she slowly climbs the stairs one at a time which is challenging with her ever-growing round belly. Toni is sitting on the floor of the attic surrounded by articles, books and photographs, the pale light of the attic is shining down on her and illuminating strands of her brunette hair sticking to her tear soaked cheeks. Her body is shaking slightly and she jumps when Cheryl reaches to lay a hand on her shoulder.

“Sorry, I just... I was distracted. I just came up here to get the box for the nursery.” she says quickly, reaching up to wipe her cheeks of tears.

“Thomas, right? Your grandfather.” Cheryl asks, her eyes roaming the ground and taking in the contents Toni has spread all over the attic floor. Toni nods in response, reaching to dust off yet another photograph. Cheryl lowers herself ever so slowly to the ground and leans heavily against the wall, she opens her arms and Toni immediately moves and curls into her side making sure to wrap her arm firmly around Cheryl’s stomach. “Tell me about him.”

“He was the best Cher. Thomas Theodore Topaz. Triple T as the Serpents liked to call him. He was a founding member of the serpents and he loved me like no one else. He was the first of my family members to really accept me for who I am, mainly the fact that I like girls. My uncle… well, you know. I really looked up to my grandpa, he was strong and stood up for what he believed in.” Toni pauses to take a deep breath, she’s started to cry again without meaning to. “I miss him…”

“I didn’t know him, but I know he would be so proud of how far you’ve come.” Cheryl soothes, she kisses Toni’s head gently and pulls her tighter against her body. Toni collapses further into new wife and feels a wave of emotions come over her even stronger than before, she sobs into Cheryl’s body.

“I love you, I love you so fucking much baby girl” Cheryl soothes, she runs her fingers through Toni’s hair and presses multiple kisses to her head to help her calm down. “I know how much it hurts, just let it out.”

Cheryl rocks Toni gently in her arms despite the fact it’s making her back ache, she closes her eyes and holds her wife as close as she possibly can and let’s her cry out all the tears she has stored for what seems like years. The attic creaks softly around them and the dust and papers flutter slightly when a breeze comes in through the open window but in a way it’s soothing. Cheryl’s eyes open and land on the photo of the tribe that Toni had found earlier, the edges are yellow and the photo is fraying at the edges so she can tell it’s been well loved. There’s at-least a dozen of them in the photo, including a man holding a tiny little infant. Some of the members are smiling and some looks serious and Cheryl wonders what the circumstance of the photo being taken was. She’s pulled from her trance when Toni speaks up softly against her.

“Grandpa is the little baby in that photo. I just.. wish there was a way for me to honour him”

“You are, by remembering him and the legacy he left behind”

“I know but I mean more so than that, he had and continues to have such an impact on my life even though he’s gone”

“Well…” Cheryl trails off, her eyes flickering to Toni’s hand resting on her rounded belly. She reaches up and wipes the tears off Toni’s face before continuing. “What about naming our son after him?”

“Really? I thought we talked about naming him after Jason, which I am 100% on board for by the way”

“Well then it’s a good thing we get to choose two names each for the babies, hey? Jason can be his middle name” Cheryl smiles down at her wife, Toni has a serious look on her face as she takes in the info. She tries to argue but Cheryl is insistent, she knows how important and meaningful this is to Toni. “These are our children, our family. And I’d be honoured to have our son named after someone so special in your life”

“I couldn’t ask for a better partner or someone to spend my life with” Toni says, her voice is shaking but Cheryl can still hear the meaning behind it.

“You make me the happiest girl in the world” Cheryl replies, leaning down to kiss Toni gently on the lips. “Now please help me up and to the kitchen, I’m starving.”

Toni snorts loudly in response as she pulls away from the kiss. “Well c’mon my lady, I wouldn’t want to keep you or your belly waiting any longer” she stands and offers her hand to Cheryl as elegantly as possible and together the pair make their way downstairs.

-

Toni walks into the room slowly despite her strong need to see and hold her wife, she feels nervous all of the sudden for reasons she can’t exactly pinpoint but she’s determined to keep herself together for Cheryl’s sake. She turns the handle and a smile easily comes to her face when she see’s her wife laying in the bed sleeping lightly, the babies are no where to be seen right now but Toni assumes the doctors will bring them in soon. When she reaches Cheryl’s side she leans in to press a soft kiss to her temple which causes her to shift and blink her eyes open to the world, she mouths a silent hello and pats the open space beside her. Toni climbs in carefully and the pair entwine themselves as close as possible.

“You did it princess, you did so good” Toni whispers against her, pressing a kiss against her temple.

“I want.. to.. hold… our babies..” Cheryl says, her voice still laced with sleep, she’s on pretty heavy pain meds which are making her even more drowsy than she would usually be.

“Me too love, I can go find the doctor” she’s about to pull away to track down where her children are when the doctor walks in with a couple nurses trailing behind  holding two warm bundles in their arms. Cheryl perks up immediately when she clues in to what is happening, next thing they know the twins are thrust into their arms and the couple is overcome with emotion. Toni looks over at Cheryl with tears streaming down her face only to find out her wife is crying just as hard. With the twins being newborn its hard to tell who they’ll resemble more as they grow but Toni swears she can see the same slope of Cheryl’s nose in their daughter and their son has slightly darker skin resembling her own. Their son is wide eyed and taking in the world, a small smile forms on his face when his gaze lands on Toni’s face and a small, happy, little coo comes from his mouth.

“Welcome to the family my little loves” Cheryl says gently, she’s holding their daughter close to her chest and stroking her cheek gently with one finger as she sleeps soundly.

“We did this Cher, they are so tiny and precious. Our little family”

There’s a soft knock at the door and the unmistakable click of Veronica’s heels. “Can I come say hi?” She questions gently, peaking her head into the doorway, she walks in further when Cheryl and Toni nod in unison.

“Ronnie, meet Theodore Jason and Kaya Rose.”

“Theodore after my grandpa” Toni chimes in.

“What about Kaya? It sounds Native American”

“It is!” Cheryl says, confirming Veronica’s guess. “We struggled picking a name for our baby girl, but the Indigenous peoples are an important part of our history - especially Toni’s. So we decided to derive a name from that and we loved the fact that Kaya means little but wise”

“It’s a gorgeous name. And of course Jason, a perfect homage to him”

Cheryl nods slowly, biting her lip gently. “I wish he was here to meet them, he would have been a great uncle”

“He’s not here, but I know that somehow he knows and he’s so proud of you babe” Toni soothes, she finds Cheryls free hand with hers and gives it a gentle squeeze. “One day we can tell our children about the powerful and important people they’re named after”

“Do you want to hold her?” Cheryl asks Veronica, steering the conversation away from talk of her brother. They pass the baby carefully and Veronica bounces her gently in her arms as she paces around the room. Cheryl turns onto her side carefully and rests her head on Toni’s shoulder before turning her attention to her son, she reaches out aiming to stroke his cheek but he grabs her finger and wraps his tiny little fingers around it in a tight grasp. “Hello Theo, welcome to the big wide world”

Toni smiles down at the pair and takes in the moment, part of her still can’t believe this is her life. The road here has been anything but smooth, but she wouldn’t change a single thing because it all ended her here surrounded by so much happiness and love. Her heart feels like its bursting, who knew two little people could make her heart so full. And as she feels Cheryl start to drift off against her body she thanks the universe for everything that lead her to this moment. It’s more than she ever could have imagined for herself.

[beauvoyr]

Lazy People’s Club for the Sleepy and Tired | 20

decaying | 20 Pairings: Noctis/Reader Genre: Friendship/Romance/Friends-to-Lovers Tags: Fluff, Humor, Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, Abuse, Torture, asphyxiation, no beta we die like men, pre-Omen trailer route, pre-demon Noctis Chapter Rating: T+ Crossposted on: ao3 Summary: Rules to join the Lazy People’s Club for the Sleepy and Tired: 1) One must love sleep. Sleep is love. Sleep is life. 2) One must be tired. Physically or emotionally, both are acceptable. 3) One must love video games. Halfhearted interest in video games will result in immediate termination of membership. Fortunately, Noctis falls into all three categories. CHAPTER SUMMARY: Noctis sidesteps a scruffy man in chic boho ensemble of scarves and fedora, stopping across glassy automated doors dinging with every customer it receives. “We’re here.”

YOU WEAR SUNLIGHT IN THE MOST RADIANT way. It dusts you in a gossamer glow; sunlight dripping off your body, glistening, luscious enough for anyone to lick the sunny sweetness from your skin. A guilty part of him liked you against a backdrop of black with stars clustering your hair and sleep-heavy eyes lidding low, but he has a newfound appreciation for the way the sun sheathes your skin in subtle extravagance, colouring you in ways artificial lighting couldn’t.

Pocketing his hands, Noctis observes how you underwent the same transformation he’s seen time and time again.

You dash up the Crystal Promenade, crossing crowded roads and marvelling at the magnificent stained glass streets sprawled under your sandals. The breeze picks up, sheer lace bouncing off your thighs, and cooing doves scatter into flight. You dart through pockets of space between the crowd, examine silvery timepieces displayed in Chopard, perking up at the street performers orchestrating a waltz with a cello, a violin, and an Electone. Prompto’s habit must’ve rubbed off on you, for you snapped a picture of some jolly bystanders waltzing along to the sentimental tune, and then a few more of the merry musicians tapping their feet in tandem.

“It’s Je Te Veux,” you tell him once he reaches your side, bright eyes all eager.

He’s never heard of that one before, but he can count on you and your endless database of classical music ingrained in that knotty head of yours. He makes a toneless sort of hum, realises it couldn’t be heard over the vibrato, and tries again. “What’s that?”

“Satie composed it.” You palm your phone to your chest, eyes trained on the graceful glide of the dancers having a good time with one another. The brilliance of your smile seems to fade for a second and Noctis wonders what’s up—that is until you seem intent on avoiding his eyes. “It means I want you.”

Oh. Oh.

There are no cymbals in the waltz, but Noctis is sure his heart is beating to the sound of a toy monkey clanging brass cymbals together. Jarringly loud in his ears, all clang clang clang like some annoying alarm in that morning Marlboro cartoon show. The sunny warmth is starting to get to him, reaching his ears, and he fights the awkward urge to have a stiff, long walk through Insomnia just to get away from the teasing lilt of the violin.

All Noctis does is to rub his nape in faux indifference. He too avoids your eyes.

“Hmm. I see.”

THE SHOP HE’S LOOKING FOR is housed in the upscale part of the city, all cobblestones fanned in russet reds, blossoming shrubs edging the walkways, iron scrollwork fencing the pavements. Prompto’s always skittish on the rare occasions when Ignis drags them here, needing to complete a grocery errand or two. Either one of the buttons on Noctis’ jacket had vanished and only DKNY carried specific silver buttons with monogrammed engravings, or he needed to replace one of his scandalous-looking shirt garters—the ones that fit around the curve of his thigh like some contraption for the kinky. Noctis isn’t judging, but he has his own suspicions about Ignis because who doesn’t?

Whatever, he’d rather not think about it now. He’d very much like to concentrate on how you’ve gone ahead with locating what he needed, pointing at a sun-bleached signboard hanging overhead.

“Is this the correct store?” You crane your neck to decipher the neon-lit swirls scrawled on the board juxtaposing deep stonewalls. “Vivienne Westwood?”

He comes to a stop before the broad, polished glass popping out on the sidewalk. “Yep, that’s the one.” Reflected, you and him: A vision in white and shrouded in black, your head tipped aside, him toeing the pavement. A wireframe mannequin models an assemblage of scarf, skirt, and matching heels, not that he knows anything about fashion. It’s just that he enjoyed watching your animated reflection scrutinising tortoiseshell sunnies perched on its head, hand on your chin. A corner of his lips slants upwards at the sight. “Most of us have our stuffs personally tailored, so, yeah. Either from Vivienne Westwood or Roen.”

You tiptoe a little to get a closer look at another pair of paisley sunglasses hanging by a string. “Kinda like personal tailors? Since you guys have fashion labels working for the royal family?”

“Something like that.” He shrugs. “Why?”

“‘cause I noticed your boots have those pretty red soles,” you say matter-of-factly, pointing downwards to what seems to be his boots. Noctis gets that awkward feeling again, like some inside joke just went over his head. What does that have to do with anything when he’s out here with you? You’re not going to make him take off his shoes again, are you? Just to examine his toes, like some bizarre déjà vu of his first meeting with you? Thankfully, you seem to pick up on his confusion since you've gone ahead tilting your head with a smile. "Christian Louboutin, right?"

Yeah, he has no experience to go through this conversation. That’s up Ignis’ alley, not his. But he might have heard the name bounced back and forth during personal fitting sessions, might have something to do with a Loubouwhatever measuring his feet with tape. Safe to say, Noctis is just going to play along. “Uh—yeah. Personalized everything. Head to toe.” He pauses at your knowing nod, growing suspicious. As much as he’s flattered—and a tad bit pleased—that you always keep your eyes on him enough to notice the finer points to his clothes, red soles are incredibly specific knowledge only privy to those with a keen interest in fashion. Finding no harm in prying, he nudges you in the side. “…didn’t think you’re the type to like fashion.”

You sidle up to him, hands quick to return his jab with one of your own. “Not me, no. Byron’s a huge fashion nerd who keeps his Pinterest board full of fashion brands, that’s all.” Noctis huffs at your predictable action, swatting you aside. He’s way too used to your antics by now—not that he knows if it’s a good thing or not. Thwarted, you backpedalled, keeping your hands to yourself. “He’s always buzzing about new fashion trends or whatever’s hot in the market, and he has this huge stash of fashion magazines in his room, making scrapbooks out of the bits he liked. It’s also kinda creepy since he idolises Claire Farron enough to have her posters on his walls. After a while, you just pick up about stuffs like that when he’s around 24/7.”

That’s some unnecessary insight on the guy who continuously pisses him off at every waking moment of his life, but Noctis isn’t about to say that to your face, not when said guy is your childhood butler who took whippings in your stead. If Gladio likened him to an older, pissier version of Ignis, the truth might not be far off. Grunting, Noctis nudges the door open for you. “C’mon, let’s get inside.”

Apparently, the store manager witnessed his interaction with you, greeting them with a bemused smile when the waft of cool air hit him. Her silver nametag reads Magisa. “Welcome, Your Highness,” she says with her pencil thin eyebrows still parked high on her forehead. “May I help you and your companion for today?”

Dealing with sales reps hounding his every step and tailing him worse than Glaives is enough to seize him up. A quick shake of his head has the wrinkled woman peering him over her rimmed glasses, and Noctis lets his eyes wander the store to avoid her piercing stare. “Nah, we’re good. I’m just going to look around.”

“Of course, Your Highness,” she placates, even if her half-bow is stunted with the fact that she’s still sneaking stares at your general direction. “If you and your lady friend require assistance, please do not hesitate to approach any of us.”

With how she places great emphasis on the word, Noctis has the sense to grimace. Should he be worried if this will blow up when the tabloids lap it all up? Yeah, hopefully not. It's his first time entering the store without his usual duo flanking his sides, and sensational scoops are one way to get the readership spiking faster than the Citadel's PR Department's migraine.

"Uh. Thanks. Can you just…?" he makes some vague hand gesture, hoping it’s a loose interpretation of what he needs, eyes skirting around when her stare is harder than stone. "We just want to shop without—uh, things happening."

She seems to understand him that much with no questions asked, quick on her feet to flip the sign to Closed and drops the automated blinds over the storefront with a click of a button. The sudden hush accompanying his personal shopping experience has you teetering closer to him, wary eyes searching his face for any signs of reassurance. Your fingers worry the hems of his jacket, chewing on your bottom lip out of habit again. Noctis squeezes your shoulder to ease your nerves before Magisa turns.

“As much as I love celebrity news, I don’t want to see some clickbait article like You Wouldn’t Believe What Prince Noctis Did Last Weekend on Insomnia Daily’s website,” she announces, a corner of her mouth tugging upwards on one side. She looks like she’s seen her fair share of celeb mishaps in her own store and would love nothing more than to die of natural causes than a heart attack. “By all means, Your Highness, do be careful. The media circus is barbaric enough to tear your reputation into shreds if you drop your guard.”

And not even the Glaives can guard him against it. "…yeah, copy that.”

Magisa is sensible enough to keep a respectful distance from him when he strolls through the rolling racks, suede jackets, knitted sweaters, complementing accessories, an orgasm of colours reaching out to him. It’s easy to forget why he’s here when he’s here with you, taking in the slanted photo frames hanging off the walls, glorious lights dawning on you and him, stops at an eye-catching bomber jacket studded in stars across its back—until he’s distracted by your fingers tugging his cuff.

“What are we looking for, Prince? Anything specific in mind for Ignis? Or is there anything he’s been eyeing?”

That’s a good question. Walking into another aisle offers rows of men’s accessories hanging from sleek metal plates. Noctis eyes a leather belt with some punk rock aesthetic on it; Prompto’d like that. “No idea actually. Was hoping we’d just find something here for him.”

“Maybe I can browse the other side and see what I can come up with?” you offer, slinking backwards with a genuine expression of being helpful to the cause. Noctis turns on his heels, catching the flit of your fingers trailing in the air as goodbye. Your back turns to him when you wander through gypsum partitions, leaving an echo of your voice. “I’ll come back soon.”

That is not how he envisioned this to be, but uh. “Sure, I guess…” Noctis answers to an empty space, minding how awkward it feels when you’re not by his side. He has half the urge to chase you just because—and the other half is judging him through Magisa's pointed silence, having witnessed every waking second.

Deciding it's best to concentrate on the task in hand, he orientates his focus to a suave combo of a dress shirt, striped belt, and gradient aviators arbitrarily arranged on a wall-mounted shelf. The clashing colours don't scream Ignis Posh Scientia, so it's a solid No for Noctis. A cashmere scarf in tartan isn't Ignis Stylish Scientia either, and Noctis backs away from the section altogether. After rifling through three snazzy co-ords, four fitted pants whilst knowing nothing of Ignis’ size, two loafers and simultaneously thwarted by Ignis’ mysterious size yet again, Noctis is almost ready to call it a day.

Magisa, thankfully, steps up to her task after sensing his deathly desperation and escorts him to a selection of accessories for the subdued, wrinkled hands lifting one of the many displays for him to choose. Having her recommendations ironed out some of the hitches in his grand plan, deciding the subtle emboss of a skull on a pair of suspenders is better than the garish VW belt buckle, and with satisfaction, Noctis follows her to the cashier—

—or not, when a sharp glint has him making a short detour to a tiered jewellery display.

Hanging off the dainty hooks are little bits of silver with varying pendants, necklaces and chokers sparkling under a well-placed spotlight. Before he takes a step back to think why he’s here and what he’s doing and Magisa’s incredible concern with whatever he’s up to, Noctis threads his fingers through a delicate star necklace.

Diamante dotting all five points up to its heart, sleek silver chain neither too long nor short like his soon-to-be five months with you. Just right, maybe just right sitting at the base of your neck nestled between your collarbones. That’s not too bad of a thought, so before he overthinks things and dabbles into the mechanics guiding his rash action, he hands it over to a waiting Magisa, who accepts it with pursed lips.

“Shall I pack it separately?” she asks none too subtly, returning to the cash register to ring up his purchases. “Would you prefer a nondescript bag or a ribbon to go with it?”

Noctis cocks a brow, withdrawing his wallet and putting his card on the proffered tray. “Is this about the suspenders or?” She gives him a look, the one that makes him feel like he's in trouble after Ignis looted his unhealthy Nissin collection, and he instantly knows what she's referring to. "Uh. Separately packaged. Just a box will do." Maybe a ribbon? "Nothing too flashy for the ribbon. Simple stuff."

“Of course, Highness, she doesn’t seem like the gaudy sort,” she offers her opinion—not that he asked her for it, but it’s a little reassuring that Magisa seems satisfied with his choice. Deft hands slotted his card, nude fingernails key in numbers on the screen, making quick work of boxing up the necklace for him to hide.

And hiding your necklace is just a simple affair of attuning it with his armoury, stowing it deep where nobody else knows its presence but him.

The fracture of blue scattering over the countertop disappears in seconds, and it has Magisa pinching her glasses to lower it by a fraction.

“Well,” she comments, impressed, “that’s handy.”

Noctis smirks.

THAT PAPERBAG IN YOUR ARMS shouldn’t be getting under his skin, but it is. You emerge almost guiltlessly from the storefront with your purchase, a sizeable heft for its nondescript beige, smiling his way. Just what exactly is in it, that's the million Credit question right there. It could be something for your own closet since you've never gone shopping on your own before, but the irrational and conspiratorial Noctis whispers it's something for Byron, definitely for Byron, because when are you notthinking about fashionable little Byron and his four-digit leather gloves anyway? Your morning conversation said all that needs to be said.

The sun’s irritating his skin and feeding the irritation in his heart, but you don’t seem to notice any of it.

“So what’re we doing now, Prince?” you say, prancing by his side in that one-two skip you do whenever you’re excited, but you’re playing off your excitement just so he won’t say anything about it. “Is there anything else you wanna do?”

Crossing the Ladian Avenue together, heavily blossoming magnolia trees shaded the pavement, creamy innocence perfuming the air. Strips of grass overlay granite slabs, pink petals dusting the surface. Children play imaginary hopscotch on evenings when their parents are off from work, couples marvel over the bold jewels growing on these magnolias, and for people like Noctis, someone not exactly a parent or your boyfriend, he pockets his hands and tries to shrug off his misplaced displeasure. Tries, because he’s still not good at it, but at least he’s willing to try.

“You hungry?”

Cracked sunlight falls over a part of your face, highlighting the sheer luminance of your eye. “Yeah? I mean, I’m totally cool if you wanna go home now since we’ve got what you need, but…” you stop underneath a magnolia, leaning against the scrawny trunks clustered together, “if it’s not too much of a hassle for you, can we go to the bookstore together?”

“The bookstore?” he repeats—totally not distracted by how the sunlight fragments colours in your iris, totally not wanting to press his fingers to your cheek to feel how warm you are. “Sure, if you have something to do there. Not that far of a detour from here.” Pointing to some few blocks in the distance to show how close it is, his hand falls to his hip just so he’d avoid touching you out of your comfort zone. “You wanna head there now?”

You give a little stretch with your arms high above your head, making a sound of pure content. One that Noctis has never heard before. “Nah, later. Lunch sounds way more tempting. Where do you wanna take me this time?”

He can’t say he’s thought that far ahead, but he’s proud of himself for being able to turn the question right at you. “What do you wanna eat this time?”

“The ramen we had was really tasty,” you suggest, though you quickly retract your statement with a finger tapping your chin, “but I kinda wanna eat something different. Something like that, but not something like that?”

There you go again, all roundabout answers with no end in sight. Five months in and you’re still you. Shreds of magnolias drift in the breeze as he snorts, dusting off pretty pinks falling on his shoulder. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what it means, Prince,” you say, quick hands cupping a fluttering petal, delighted like you’ve never seen one before. Maybe Byron’s never pruned magnolias for your vases, that’s possible enough. “Kinda like one of those feel-good foods? Homely kinds of stuff, nothing fancy, just delicious meals straight from the heart.”

The wind picks up, sweeping through the boulevard, a flurry of flowers raining on you and him. Nonchalantly picking out a petal streaked in rich pinks fading in whites from your hair, Noctis drops it into your outstretched hands. You crane your neck to reward his gift with a smile, and it’s all he needs. “Ever had oden before?”

“Nope, never had them.” You shake your head as Noctis plucks off more pinks from your hair, his jacket, your shoulders, presents in the palms of the queen in white. “What’s oden like? Loads of rich broth? Warm, fuzzy foodie meals? Instaglam-worthy shots?”

“Your inner Prom is coming out,” he points out, and you laugh.

Just like this, it’s nice standing around, talking with you all casual like nothing else matters in this world. Pressing your back to the tree, cornering you like this—oh. Magisa’s warning throbs in his head.

Yeah, shit, he kind of forgot about that, didn’t he?

Noctis consciously takes a step back, catching questions in your eyes.

The Glaives tailing him 24/7 would peck all this up like Chocobo feed for the rest of the Glaives back home to gobble over, and if he’s hoping this won’t be #1 trending gossip in Insomnia, he better start praying to whatever Astrals’ out there watching over him. They say Ramuh’s the kindest of the bunch, right? So maybe Ramuh would listen and spare him all the media sharks who could’ve spied on him.

Out in the open space, anyone could be watching him—you. He doesn't have the cover of the night to help him out when it's bright and breezy like this, nothing like the privacy of a lake and the stars, nothing like Prompto’s presence warranting a friendly outing. Going out with him and Ignis is one thing while going out with you is on another scale altogether. He doesn’t enjoy freedom the way a commoner does, all because he’s the prince. And princes don’t get to walk around with you the same way Byron does.

There it is again.

He hates it. Hates the familiar edges of that moody, problematic prince coming up. All because he doesn’t think things through and his temperament is getting the best of him and he just can’t say it because he doesn’t know how to make it sound not so awkward since he doesn’t want to be your friend anymore but he can’t go past a boyfriend because what kind of shitty boyfriend is he going to be when he can’t even date you normally. And then there’s Byron too, feeding the unhealthy glutton for jealousy in him. So he’ll probably end up ruining this day in the end, won’t he?

Pretending the disappointment clouding your eyes is nothing more than confusion, he quirks a finger for you to follow. “C’mon, let’s go. I’m starving.”

The abrupt change in his demeanour isn't lost on you. Still, you seem to stumble out of whatever daydream cluttering your head, petals once clasped tight in your palms now scattering all over the ground. “…right, lead the way.”

He’s good at pretending, isn’t he? He’s been pretending he’s got his life together all these years, so he’s sure he can pretend to be your friend just a little while longer.

A MOUTHFUL OF PIPING HOT oden, you learn, is sunshine melting on your tongue: A hot ball of rich, savoury sun. As expected, Noctis memorised every alleyway right down to its missing tile, bringing you to the best place in the city to enjoy your lunch. You’ve never seen someone conducting business from a wooden cart curtained in red, but the novelty of the experience has you eager to sink onto the wooden stool for the pick-and-mix session to begin. The ancient owner, yet another friend of the prince, is all toothy grins when Noctis ducks into his stall, batting away all attempts at paying at the end of the meal.

“You’re definitely the People Prince,” you say, en route to the bookstore across a boulevard lined in street lamps. Paper bag bouncing by your side, you take a peek at his face. “I’m kinda surprised how many people actually know you—not like know know, but they know you like you’re friends from way before.”

Noctis shrugs like it means nothing to him, but you’ve long learnt his belligerent blue eyes are more honest than he is. “Used to hang out loads with Prom when I was in high school. Arcades, ramen stalls, oden carts, cinemas, karaoke, you name it, we did ‘em all.” He swoops sharp right into another street, plodding uphill past grey-bricked boutiques. “When you’re a regular, you’re instantly a level above most customers they get on other days.”

You tail him from behind, though momentarily, a woman walking her leashed Shih Tzu makes you coo for a second. Noctis flashes you a look for your unintelligible cooing, not expecting that form of a reply, and you fiddle for an answer. “Um—well, you’re the prince and you get along so well with them, so you’re everyone’s favourite.”

“Totally not,” he rebukes with less bite and more of a scowl. Curt, leaving the conversation in the dust, just like that.

Had you hit a sore spot somehow? He’s been testier ever since you got out of Vivienne Westwood a little later than he did. Is it because it's the usual cliché of guys hating girls when they go off on a shopping spree? And then they have to wait for what seems like aeons before their significant other comes back to reality? Free oden failed in cheering him up, even if the ecstatic old man loaded up his portion with more freebies, so hangry from both hunger and anger is out of the question since you’re full and he’s full and he’s still taking you to the bookstore like what you wanted.

So what was your fault?

You don't know.

Noctis sidesteps a scruffy man in chic boho ensemble of scarves and fedora, stopping across glassy automated doors dinging with every customer it receives. “We’re here.”

Catching up brings you to an uncommon bookstore, broad posters taping the front of the store in the latest literature fixes. Over three storeys of rosy stucco, wooden slats and hanging creepers swirling over walls, you assume it's a café bookstore with a vintage spin to it. The whole atmosphere matches a parked car next to its entrance, white racing stripes across chintzy pink convertible, silver Vixen on its antique hood. It even has a Moogle bauble on its antenna, making you smile at how cute it is.

Unfortunately, Noctis doesn’t share your sentiment and doesn’t share your thoughts. He just stares at you staring at the car, and you felt bad for pulling him all the way here. Maybe he doesn’t want to be here after all? And he’s just too polite to say anything about it?

Somehow, that sends your premature joy plummeting to the ground.

“C’mon, let’s go in.”

“—right.”

The brisk exchange falls flat with you following Noctis inside, chilly air-conditioning fleecing your sun-warmed skin. Coffee and contemporary fixtures are in place, rows of books on weathered racks, but it’s hard to concentrate on the people and the place when Noctis and only Noctis is in your head. You pissed him off, didn’t you? In some way you can’t explain since you don’t know how you screwed up. You knew this day would come. Just like how you fight with Byron over the smallest of things, this could cement the start of a dispute between you and Noctis over who knows what and Gods know why.

He’s walking ahead.

He isn’t waiting for you.

Wandering through stationeries shelved along the walls, fingers drifting over jutting pencils, you are lost. Shellac finishes to a wooden barrel fail to reignite your interest in purchasing and engraving a fountain pen for Ignis’ birthday. The bookstore is suddenly too cold, too lonely for you alone, standing in front of a glass display. You are a face among the many masks hustling about, giggling and chatting and walking along. You can’t share Noctis’ world when he’s not here with you.

A soft graze on your elbow has you looking up to your left, sinking into a trance when familiar blackness return.

Oh. Noctis is here all along, blue eyes unreadable. He’s doing something with his hand. Oh. He’s holding you. He turns his back, fingers laced through yours, leading you away from the crowd. Past uncaring apron-wearing helpers, past scampering children, past the broadest wall leading to an emergency exit. Heavy fire doors are bolted shut behind him. They erase all sounds, hiding you and him from scandalized eyes.

His hand is warm in yours.

Fluorescent bulb flickers overhead, the stairwell smells of dust and cement. You can’t hear your heart beating when Noctis tips his head, messy bangs turning blue eyes black. He has your back to the wall like he had you at the tree—only, there is no distance separating you and him. He presses into your space with the intent to take everything, leaving nothing behind. You let him. His leg nudges between your knees up your thigh and he bends close enough for you to feel his breath on your cheeks. You can't breathe.

Dry lips descend on your ear with a warm whisper.

“Ah. A white puppy.”

You feel him smile.

“It’s too bad, really, that I need a black mongrel instead.”

It shuts down in black. Your eyes are wide open but you can’t see. Noctis is gone but you still feel his knee brushing against your inner thighs. Crawling the column of your neck is his hand, and it settles with a thumb on your jugular. He breathes low and harsh and you can’t mistake the shudder up your spine as anything else other than fear. You can’t see him, but you feel him holding you down the cracking drywall. You can’t move. You can’t scream.

He is saying something, but you hear him no more, not over the Crystal humming in your ear. It drowns him out like summer bees and static TV, but his breath laving your lobe is warm, rank, smelling of death and decay. Clawed fingernails dig half-moons in your wrist. You flinch under his strength. He doesn’t budge. You are cold when it is hot and sweat starts from your scalp sliding to your shoulder. Knees are buckling underneath you and you are certain you are falling but there is no telltale pain bruising your knees. You don’t know if you are standing or you are kneeling or you are here.

Blackness thickens because it’s never gone from the start, and the Crystal grows louder like it fights to be heard over Noctis. Electricity slithers where the crescents lie on your wrist, tattooing your skin in short jolts. Ouch you gasp but your lips do not move and your voice is unheard.

You’ve felt this before.

It’s magic.

But there is no blue in the blacks, only frayed red seeping through. Blotting out the dark, blurring into greys.

The buzz snips off sharp as scissors.

A mouthful of piping hot oden, you learn, is sunshine melting on your tongue: A hot ball of rich, savoury sun. As expected, Noctis memorised every alleyway right down to its missing tile, bringing you to the best place in the city to enjoy your lunch. A woman walking her leashed Shih Tzu has you distractedly cooing for a second. Over three storeys of rosy stucco, wooden slats and hanging creepers swirling over walls, it’s a café bookstore with a vintage spin to it. Coffee and contemporary fixtures are in place, rows of books on purposely weathered racks, and the shellac finishes to a wooden barrel catches your fancy for Ignis’ gift.

The cashier hands your change with a smile and you exit the store to find Noctis waiting outside. Why is he looking all glum and sullen with his arms crossed over his chest anyway? Didn't that oden old man load up his bowl with all the grilled fishcake and sticky tofu skins? That can’t do, he can’t do all the frowning when you’re all happy from the food.

“Sorry for the wait!” You cosy up to him, tucking your packaged pen by your side. Noctis visibly jumps and looks at you as if you’ve grown a second head. His face is priceless and you can't help but laugh at him. "Gosh, Prince, what's wrong? Did something happen?”

“Uh—no, nothing happened,” he’s quick to sputter with a shake of his head, though he can’t seem to wipe that silly look he gives you. “You… okay?”

You’re confused, but not as confused as Noctis. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

And Noctis takes a hard, long look. Narrowed blue eyes, lips curled, arms uncrossing to drop by his sides. He surveys you how one surveys an advertisement, even if all you had for an offering is this white dress and two sets of gifts. After a while, seemingly coming to a decision, he guiltily rubs his nape. "No. Nothing. Forget it."

“What, all that and nothing?” you chide at the anticlimactic end, taking one step after another.

He doesn’t answer, walking past an empty parking lot, and you jab him in his side, inciting an undignified yelp at your pre-emptive attack. So maybe it’s not worth it when he turns around and you get a sense of belated uh-oh when he chases you up the street, but at least now you know Gladio’s training is paying off because hey, your sides aren’t hurting that much anymore.

YOU ARE WEIRD AND UNREPENTANT and everything in Noctis’ dictionary of a catastrophe. Here he is, trying his damned best in keeping a distance from you, and you all but kicked over the barricades and shredded the WARNING flyers he tacked on the signboards. What’s he supposed to do when you ran fast uphill—but he’s faster,duh, and it ends in him yanking you through backstreet detours to avoid a ruckus. You had the nerve to laugh at him with the biggest, most brilliant smile he’s ever seen—not that it’s forgiven anything you’ve done to him today, absolutely none at all.

He can’t believe he’s saying this, but he’s glad to see your chilly chamber of secrets, even if it means his toes have to freeze on marble again.

Incredibly in a good mood, you are humming. Clicking on your desktop, belting out Billboard’s Top 20 instead of dead people’s music, boiling hot water and making tea. Noctis drops on a chair and observes you with a palm propping his head. Observes, because he’s sure as hell never experienced something like this before, never seen the city life infecting you all the way to your room, never heard you singing softly under your breath to some crappy lyrics scrawled on restroom stalls.

Did the bookstore unlock some hidden part of your personality like some side quest in a prophecy? Visit the bookstore to gain a new skill: Humming! or something? Noctis makes a face at that. Five years with Prompto and his RPG obsession definitely rubbed off on him.

You balance two cups in a hand and a teapot in the other, clicking off the music. “Here you go, Prince.” When he makes a move to help, you all but shushed him to sit, bringing porcelain to his face and pouring a stream of gold liquid right in it. “Sorry I don’t have anything good, Byron’s been too distracted with Ignis’ birthday party until he forgot my groceries this week.”

Noctis takes a sip of the bland concoction and considers what you said—not that he’s surprised irritation’s rapidly overtaking his initial revelation at your good mood because it’s Byron and when are you not in a good mood about Byron anyway? “Hmm.”

Either you heard him or you don’t as you sit right beside him instead of your usual spot behind your desk, nursing your own cupful. “He’s been baking nonstop,” you say with a sparkle in your eyes, but it vanished when you continue, “and when he screws up, I’m his garbage can apparently. He’s okay with cooking but he’s still crap at baking so I kinda think he’s trying to impress Ignis with this cake but ah—but don’t tell him I told you, he’ll totally kill me.”

His tone darkens with another deep sip. “Hmm.”

Radiating the sun’s enthusiasm, you aren’t unenthused with the one-sided conversation. He sets down his polished cup a little too sharply and you take it as a chance for refilling, not that he’s in any mood to drink more.

“So anyway, thanks for taking me out today,” you cheer, attempting to duck your head just so you’d meet his downturned eyes since he’s gone ahead with slouching in his seat. “Things are really different in the morning, huh? The kids, the streets, the shops, I didn’t think it’d be that different from all the times we went out at night. I was so, so wrong.”

He says nothing and stares right back at you.

He’s an ass for sulking about Byron now, isn’t he?

He is.

Not discouraged by his off-putting silence, you reach by your chair to pull the VW paper bag in your lap, hands flattening crinkles at the folds. Great, seeing that stuff shoves his mood off a cliff faster than a dive. You’re not going to make him sit through you parading your purchase for Byron, are you? He’d rather leave before that happens. No way in hell he’ll stick around to drag that knife down his heart like a goddamn masochist who likes this shit.

The moment he tries to get to his feet, tries, your hands shoot out to dump the bag on him. Whump it goes on his jeans, and Noctis stays because his legs suddenly forgot how to walk.

“That’s yours, Prince, as thanks for today—and also kind of like thanks for sticking with me all the time—wait, no, that’s not what I meant—as in thanks for letting me stick with you.” Your voice is thin at your fumbling, eyes nervously sweeping from him to the bag, bouncing your knees, and he swallows. “I mean it. So. Yeah. Um, thanks for all these four months together and I’ll work really, really hard to make sure the fifth month counts. Yeah. Yeah.”

So maybe his brain can’t quite catch up because his mouth betrays him with a stupid, “Uh.” And that’s not what he’s trying to say when you look positively petrified at the dead sound like he doesn’t care when he obviously cares, damn it. “Wait no—I just.” He swallows the tightness in his throat because why is it so hard to say something when just a word makes the difference between life and death because you, too, counted all the months together like him? His mouth still can’t process the important message and he ends up with another dumb, “Um. Thanks.”

What else? What else? Should he add that he’s sorry for being an ass today just because a certain green-eyed monster kept taunting him with Byron’s name? That blew out of proportions—and that embarrassed him to the point of no return. Here you are, gifting him the same paper bag that haunted him all the way from Vivienne Westwood, and it’s not for your butler of decades. It’s for him. A five-monthiversary gift. For him.

And nobody else but him.

Because you only had eyes for him from the start.

The silence is deafening. He considers you considering him, you’re all wide-eyed silence, he’s all eyes lidded low silent. Your hands smoothen white cotton over your thighs. Teeth are back on your bottom lip, gnawing, pulling. He’s going to mess this up again, isn’t he? Yeah, he is. He totally is. How’s he supposed to say something, anything, when his thoughts are a jumbled mess of surplus jealousy and growing shame?

The next best thing for him to do is the good old adage of action speaks louder than words. Taking the advice to heart, Noctis snatches the ribboned box from his armoury in a burst of blue, tossing it to your lap. Not the best way to gift you, but it evens out the score since you threw his first.

You haven’t moved an inch as the box bounces on your thighs. You probably stopped breathing too.

Noctis clears his throat and remembers that conversation is a two-way thing, as bad as he is at it. “That’s… yours.”

On cue, trembling fingers scramble to lift it to uncertain eyes and he’s rewarded with the sight of a dumbstruck strategist trying to make sense of the package. Turning it in every angle in sunlight diffused by recessed lighting, examining the gold emboss on cool grey, and he’s willing to bet if he’s not there, you would’ve even sniffed the whole box like it’s an edible prank. In the end, you make a hapless sound, balancing it on your jittery lap with a rigid smile.

“Um.” You say, just as dumb as he did. “That was unexpected.”

Noctis tilts his head the other way round. “What, no thanks?”

Instantly, you seize up in panic. He meant it in a funny sense, just a friendly tease, but apparently, it's lost in the mathematics in your head. “No, no, I really, really, really appreciate it. Thank you so much, Prince, I—” you stop to make a strangled sound, pressing your palm to your mouth to stifle the noise. “—thanks, seriously, thanks. ”

Noctis catches your eyes turning glassy and hell, you’re not going to cry, are you? It’s already bad enough he’s struggling to deal with his internal issues; he can’t deal with a crying strategist right now. “Wait—stop. Don’t cry. Dude, seriously, chill.”

It takes a whole seven seconds for you to sniff like you’re draining your eyes inwardly, dabbing the wet corners with the back of your hand. “Not crying, but close enough.”

“Yeah, right.” Six, he hates it when someone messes up his hair, but his own hand is messing up his hair and he can’t get mad at himself, can he? Whatever. Noctis gives up understanding this whole thing and winds up gesturing haplessly at your gift. “You can open it if you want.”

“Sure—" you sniff and Noctis’ wary eyes are searching for any signs of tears as you wave at his gift hopelessly. “—you too, open that if you want to.”

So.

Now that it’s gotten to this point, he can’t imagine what’s in the paper bag or summon the last memory of receiving a gift outside of birthdays. All he knows is that he extracts a folded jacket from its depths, feels his brows meeting at the middle, almost did a double take when he gets a good look at the pin-sized stars dotting the back, physically refrained himself from doing said double take because it’s the same jacket he eyed the moment he stepped in the shop, and floundered for something to say. If you noticed his red soles, he can’t say he’s surprised you noticed how he lingered a second too long at the rack. Noctis leans deeper in his seat and stops trying to pin the precise point in the timeline to answer when you snuck behind his back to buy this for him. He finds none.

An awed gasp from your end tells him your reaction.

Now it’s his turn to dart back and forth from your face to the necklace dripping between your fingers. Your flushed face. One with a garbled series of stuttered ah, um, uh and more ah, um, uh until you abruptly swallowed all nonsensical noises and looked at it with the softest expression he’s ever seen on your face. Wet eyelashes quivering. Lips trembling. Soundless.

The silence returns.

Then, a quiet, “Star.”

Noctis searches for his voice for a while. He finds it, but he can’t release it from wavering. “Yeah.”

“Stella,” you say.

He gets that much. Star. Just like the ones on his jacket. “Yeah.”

“Stella,” you repeat, and a weaker, “Noctis.”

Noctis buries his hands in his jacket. He doesn’t realise when he’d done it. His fingers are burrowing deeper into fine fabric and hummingbirds are caged in his ribs. His name. On your lips. His name. Everything else matters little now. “Yeah?”

Slowly, almost unearthly, you return from your starry reverie with the lethargy of a woman drowning in the sea. Languid, lifting the necklace to your eyes—only, you are not looking at it, you are looking past the pendant, you are looking at him. “Just like the stars we saw that night, remember?”

Oh. Oh. The hummingbirds are loud. And fast. Noctis fishes something from his vocabulary along the lines of hey just so you know, it’s totally fine if you wanna call me by my name but some words end up omitted after an unexpected filtering and all he’s left with is a lame, “That’s my name.”

Your eyes are gentle when you say, “I know.”

The hummingbirds struggle maddeningly loud against his ribcage and Noctis thinks of come here, Noct, and come here and let me love you, and he knows what exactly he wants. “You know.” His voice has gone rougher in the edges. “You can call me by my name.”

The necklace ripples in the air. There is no breeze. Only your hand trembles. You don’t cry. You don’t smile. You don’t look away. “I can’t call you that, I’m sorry…” Your tongue twists each word with care, yet the undertones betray your want—your inherent need for his name. “I respect you as the prince, and it’s a reminder to me that you are my prince. It’s something I shouldn’t ever forget, as someone who wants to serve you.”

The reasoning behind your logic is solid but Noctis doesn’t want logic now.

Logic has no place between two people of a chance meeting on the 56th floor.

“I don’t want to be the prince to you. I want to be.” He pauses, looks mildly uncomfortable, and shakes his head. He wants it. Even if it’s pretending game for two. “Wanna be someone normal to you.” We aren’t normal, he says, we can never be normal with how things are, but I’ll keep pretending it’s normal if you’ll let me. “Not your prince, not your future duty. Just… normal.”

Someone normal enough to take walks with you on flowering promenades.

Someone normal enough to spend hours with you playing video games.

Someone normal enough to sleep together with you.

“So,” you murmur quietly, "is it okay," tipping your head aside, "if I," looping silver around your neck, "call you," clasp fixed securely in place, the star at home between your collarbones, "Noctis?"

He doesn’t trust his voice. Back to action it is, with a slow nod of his own.

You are the very image of his imagination, star sitting at the base of your neck, the centrepiece of your shoulders. You are too real. More than what his paltry dreams offered in his sheets, you are in your chair in a room too cold with his necklace on your neck and he stops hearing the hummingbirds and starts feeling them under his skin. They’ve escaped, fluttering in his nerves, almost guiding his fingers with enough force to touch the silver on your skin.

“Noctis,” you say, fingering his chain.

He nods again.

“Noctis,” you say, a finger stopping on the star.

He softly agrees with your echo, “Yeah.”

“Noctis,” you say, eyes falling shut, head downcast. “Thank you.”

He knows his name belongs on your lips when he, too, closes his eyes. There are stars on the backs of his eyelids and he thinks he’ll dream of them tonight.

IT IS ONLY MUCH LATER ON when you are in the company of your mirror that you allow yourself a moment to examine your reflection. You are twenty and your hands are still bloodied with people whose names you don’t know. You are father’s bundle of sins and your mother is dead. Your eyes are bruised black and your sickly pallor hasn’t improved five months removed from the House of Andronicus. You suspect the illness lies not within the house, but within you yourself. You are a decaying garden and it shows in your eyes, on your lips, on your tongue.

But one thing has changed.

Mother’s hands are gone from your neck.

And in its stead is the prince’s—no, he’s no longer the prince to you.

Noctis.

That is his name.

In its stead is Noctis’ necklace, a weight different from mother’s. It’s cold like her hands, but it’s not hers. It’s Noctis’. The edge of the star goes under your fingernail and you know it is a closure you’ve long sought. Her burial is long overdue.

“Goodbye, mama. Rest in peace.”

[tbc.]

NOTES:

in case anyone hasn’t seen it yet, Erion Makuo drew EXTREMELY FANTASTIC AND IMMENSELY BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK of Omen Noctis here so please go and check it out and send the artist HUGE LOVES! thank you so much for the gorgeous artwork!!! ;u; Bless Erion, bless the artwork, bless everything about them!!!

yells bc it took me ten thousand years to edit this chapter oh my god im so glad it’s done. cheers to plot devices trying to move the fic along! to those of you who are still reading, thank you so much for waiting roughly 4 months for this update! i’m really touched by all of the positive and encouraging moral support i’ve received through comments, kudos, and tumblr messages, especially through the tough times i’m facing and despite my inactivity on tumblr too. i’m still working in the same place, still floating along, still suffering, but coming back to work on this project and others, fuelled by everyone’s support, really gave a huge boost to my emotional health. thank you so much, everyone, you guys are the best, the biggest life-changers, the awesomest people i could ever ask for in times like this.

so what’s next in decaying? everything is going to hell, that’s for sure. more fluff, equally balanced with more questionable content. if you’re uncomfortable with darker themes and morally dubious actions done by the characters, as usual, i’ll include appropriate warnings at the beginning of each chapter and even a little tldr at the bottom as a summary should you want to skip it.

i’ll try to have the next update as soon as i can since my progress is slightly hampered by my bilateral hand conditions, so please look forward to the next chapter as soon as i can! do take care, my lovely friends and readers; stay healthy and hydrated, keep hustling, the times are tough and things are getting tougher, but remember you can do it!

PREVIEW: you’re drowning in air but the world isn’t swimming past you anymore, reality isn’t flitting and warping around in dimensions before your eyes, and you finally feel you’re conscious enough to understand that night has fallen yet again over insomnia, over your room. but why’s byron waiting in the dark without any light and why’s he bending over to caress your cheek and he’s whispering go back to sleep too loudly and all you can tell him is wait byron i’m scared please stay voicelessly when your limbs don’t move and you can’t move and it’s dark, it’s too dark, but why can you see gold eyes and the line of his smile shifting into a smirk and—

[lordeasriel]

another batch of things i like in BBC’S HIS DARK MATERIALS

i’m here again to praise this unreleased masterpiece. this time is a long post, sorry 

- i get the feeling that opening shot is asriel’s arrival at jordan. regardless of that, the colours are even more beautiful than i predicted. they’re warm and vibrant but realistic and in a down-to-earth way. the sky seems iridescent, it really evokes the idea that, however similar that world might be to ours, it isn’t the same.

- i mentioned the outfits in my previous post on the teasers, but now we have more to go on and they are still beautiful! they really set nice and varied colour palettes for everything, it’s unbelievable.

- lyra is striking! i love how they keep her within her own age. again, she looks like a kid and dresses as such. you can see her different stages as the outfits changes. the floral (?) dress she wears in that Pan scene and the one where she is running inside a scholarly-like building feels very Jordan-like (I believe those scenes are in Jordan), and the bolvangar uniform still manages to make her stand out, even if it’s meant to make her mingle with the other kids. i like the greens and blues as the scenes approach the endgame of the story.

- pan is so cute, and also stuck in his two known forms: snow ermine and beetle lol jk bad wolf i love you, he looks fantastic!

- dafne keen was the right choice, i can vouch for that. she looks incredible, wild and realistic within lyra’s role.

- ALSO ROGER IS SO CUTE! that poor boy. he looks so tidy and unremarkable, in a sense, like he is a servant boy, but he matters so much to lyra that she is willing to go north to rescue him.

- marisa is looking regal af. the blue silk is outrageous, and there’s that staircase scene where you can see her in a red outfit (i’m going wild here and guessing that’s her because it’s a magisterium building, and there aren’t many women that could fill that place, so it’s like 95% certainty that it is her). the white nightgown was striking too. they really toned down her outfits in comparison to the movie, she has a more varied colour palette, with blues when Lyra’s outfit is red, then red when Lyra’s outfit is green/blue. she also looks more demure and frugal, it really evokes that deceptive aspect of her character, when she tries really hard to be a good servant of the church, but it’s a sinner underneath it all.

- also, instead of dressing her in golden outfits (which i think would have been complimentary (?) to her complexion, i guess) they chose to make her surroundings golden, as you can see in the golden monkey scene, and the gun scene. her house is in warm, yellow/orange/gold tones, which makes her stand out in her blue/green/white outfits.

- ruth wilson has such an uncanny beauty that i think it suits the character so much, it physically hurts me

- THAT SOLDIER SCENE!!! i will never shut up about this. there is so much power and meaning to that scene, and it really reminds of that Subtle Knife scene where she takes control over the specters. that was too much for me.

- also, lyra being more fancy and polished in her scenes with Mrs. Coulter, her hair silkier and brushed, her outfits sleekier, just like Mrs. Coulter’s. love it!

- oh boy, asriel, my man. he has like, two outfits, and they are quite simple, but he is a man of different priorities, so that kinda makes sense, i guess??? i mean, he doesn’t have time to dress nice, he probably own five identical shirts.

- but, i like how he looks wilder in the cabin scenes, as opposed to his jordan’s first look. it feels like he gets stressed as his research progresses, so he looks more worn-out (?). yet, that last shot, where is underneath the aurora, he looks more vibrant and vivacious, which also makes sense like, this guys has been trying really hard to do this and now it’s done and he is thriving and living his best life

- also mcavoy is a snacc, man. grey-haired mcavoy? also a snacc.

- STELMARIA!!! i lived my whole life to this point just to see that beautiful daemon and i was not disappointed.

- boreal: also a snacc, that was wrong bad wolf. that was wrong because he is creepy and messed up, and you want us to want him. wrong but thank you.

- he seems like he is bowing to someone at the magisterium (there is a huge M in the architecture behind him in that shot). also, while talking to @his-dark-memerials​ about the bird daemon, because Boreal daemon is a small snake,  we arrived at the conclusion his daemon is in his pocket, where his hand is at in the scene.

- lee scoresby, our mighty hero, looking like he needs a rest from this people’s bullshit. i loved the hat and the moustache, and HIS BALOON!! wish there was more for me to say though.

- oh yes, there is more to say about lee. WHERE THE FUCK IS HESTER?? last time i did this it worked, we saw roger, let’s try again

- the Master. oh boy, he really made an impression on me. he had like, one line in the trailer, but he did everything right, idk. he has that melancholia of an old man who’s seen so much and now has to deal with the fact he held power over nothing. like, what can he do? the Master is a character bound to his own place, and he kept Lyra safe for as long as he could, but he knew the day would come when he would be stuck between Mrs. Coulter and Asriel and he kinda just accepted it. yes, i’m going crazy.

- IOREK!!! i am so fucking impressed. like, super impressed. he looks nice and threatening, and REAL. he looks so real it’s crazy! how can he look so real? what kind of sorcery is this?

- ah farder coram, he looks a bit stockier than i imagined, but then again, everyone is younger in the show, so i guess it makes sense. he is also angrier which i like. wish we could’ve seen more of him, and john faa.

- i really like the modern ambient, the angular architecture. the gyptian Roping looks really good, very earthy and welcoming, there are so many people there, just like i pictured it.

- bolvangar is clean, scary and vibrant, which i love, it really makes you feel trapped in an underground facility in the arctic, which i figure, is the point. also the silver guillotine looks creepy and rustic and it’s HUGE like, terrifying huge style lmao

- the magisterium looks beautiful and powerful, with that clean aesthetic. it really gives us the bad vibes underneath the polished look. their zepelins are so threatening, their soldiers are threatening, everything from that unholy institution is threatening, like wtf, i’m scared again

- wish they would’ve shown us the witches though, i can’t wait to see them!

[word-foolery-blog]

Death to the ‘Dream Role’

I am four years old and so is my friend, Raine.  Our little world is simple, and the sun we revolve around is none other than the phenomenon of the Spice Girls.  We can’t get enough, memorising the dialogue of Spice World, creating routines to their music - even making our parents sit through a painfully underproduced tribute band performance at the local town hall.  One afternoon, Raine and I invite a few other kids from the neighbourhood to join us on Planet Spice.  When we realise that there are as just as many of us as there are them, we decide to assign each person a Spice Girl to match our personalities.  

Sweet Raine is tall for her age; an athletic brunette who, of course, took Mel C’s Sporty Spice character.  A bubbly girl with a loud laugh is our designated Geri Halliwell.  I ask to be considered for the role of Baby Spice, because her platform shoes and obsessive sweet tooth speak volumes to me.

“No, you have to be Mel B,” one kid points out to me, “because none of us look like her.  You do, though. Look like her. Kinda.”

I stare at this kid, puzzled.  It’s true that I am the only person there with brown skin, but Mel B is much darker than I am, and her hair has beautiful honey-coloured curls, juxtaposing my dark, glossy mop.  I don’t really look like her at all.  But before I can have an opinion, the game continues.  I decide to embody Scary Spice regardless - her powerful stance, her loudness, her ever-protruding tongue a flip of the bird to whoever dares cross her.  She is strong and brave, so I am strong and brave.  But the platform-wearing, lollipop-sucking blonde deep down in my soul weeps for her lost opportunity.

(Sidenote:  A version of this exact same scenario appears on the brilliant Hulu show “PEN15”, in which writer Maya Erskine lets all mixed-race kids in white neighbourhoods who were forced into Spice-tokenism that they are not alone.  We love you, Maya!)

I am twelve years old.  I live in regional Australia, just outside of Melbourne.  The musical theatre bug has not only bitten me, it has devoured me.  I am a willing slave - downloading cast albums in their entirety (illegally), hungrily ingesting whatever was new and exciting in New York, as well as the classics that the new shows had fashioned themselves after.  I gather information about the history of musical theatre and began to understand the timeline.  I watch illegal bootlegs, copied onto blank DVDs in jewel disc cases on my nightstand.  This is the stuff of my dreams.

We are on our way to a rehearsal in the city.  We are mostly white, only a few other Asian or brown kids in the mix (reflective of Melbourne’s melting pot).  Some prepubescent queen decides we will play a game.  We’re going to think of a musical we all love, and then try to see if we can cast ourselves in the roles of that show (this is the beautiful high of the preteen theatre geek).

We land on Wicked, which at the time had never been produced on our hemisphere, let alone our city.  We had to base our decisions on a fully memorised cast album and the pictures in “Wicked: The Grimmerie”, which we passed around to each other like the Travelling Pants.

The casting process is painfully familiar.  I have in mind for myself the role of Boq, given that he is described as being short (which I am) but sweet (which I like to think I am).  But when the finger lands on me, our self-proclaimed leader pauses.

“Hmm,” he says.  “Well, you’re really good at dancing, so you should be the flying monkey!”

Joan Marcus’ portrait of the original Chistery, Manuel Herrera, flashes before me.  He is in repose, face covered by an abstract monkey headpiece, huge bat-like wings on his back.  He never speaks, but he does get to fly.  That should be enough, right?

(Okay, sorry, another sidenote: According to both Telsey & Co. and several prospective agents and managers, both of us were right.  Oy.)

I am eighteen years old.  I have just moved to New York City to study musical theatre, inching ever-closer to the stuff of my dreams.  I am asked, early on and by several people, what my dream role in a play or musical would be.  My answers are vague - Angel in Rent, I guess?  Sonny in In The Heights?  Although I love both of these shows, I only barely identify with these characters.  I have learned to identify with their (traditionally cast) brown skin.  

As my course progresses and I learn more and more about the canon of musicals, the list expands and my horizons broaden.  I fall in love with characters who populate my new grown up Broadway bucket list: Chip in On The Town, the Emcee in Cabaret, Boy in Peter and the Starcatcher - all originally played by white actors, but have no discernible characteristics that would prevent my playing them.

I am twenty-five years old.  I make a living in musicals, most of them about people of colour, their history, their struggles and triumphs.  I remain proudly in the ensemble mostly, although the occasional featured character busts out from time to time.  I love my work.

Lately, the idea of a “dream role” has been bugging me, because I cannot remember a recent time in which I really had a certain character or show in mind.  I wondered at first if this because I have never really played a principal character in a show - and then I remembered that there are no principal roles for men like me.  I am a baby-faced Asian baritone - they don’t write shows about us (listen, I read that back and it reeks of a pity party, but if it ain’t the damn truth!!).  I must reiterate also that I love being an ensemble player.  The underlying connotation that sometimes carries in these conversations is that our job is not worth much, and that is nonsense.  Being in the ensemble of a great musical takes talent, humility, style and grace.  But no one’s ever asked me what my dream ensemble was (for the record, it’s the ensemble track in The Wedding Singer).

For marginalised people, the idea of the dream role only extends so far; for us, the only roles we dream of are the ones we think we’re “correct” for - those which the majority have decided are appropriate.  These decisions are not based on our humanity or ability, but on cultural tropes that are as outdated as they are irreversible - so much so that unlearning them is proving to be the most difficult task of all for many who have not experienced such insidious prejudice.

Dream roles also reinforce the idea that having a character with dialogue quantifies success - which is absolutely false.  An ensemble members stealing an entire show is tale as old as time.

Here I present my alternative to the dream role: the “dream story”: What is the story you would like to tell most?  This is a far more challenging question, and a touch broader than I think most are comfortable with.  But as our artistic processes evolve and the ways through which we make great work expand, there’s so much more to consider when it comes to pursuing a life in storytelling.  

If you were to ask me this very question five, ten, fifteen years ago, my answers would most likely vary depending on my ever-shifting list of priorities.  But I also believe they would be connected by my fundamental belief that what we do is important, that stories matter.  And that has clarified my mission as an artist more than anyone else’s permission ever will.

How would I answer this question, here and now?

My dream stories are ones with that deal with turning pain into love.  That celebrate the beautiful ways we look at each other, and wonder aloud why sometimes we can barely see each other at all.  Ones that remind the next generation of their boundless potential and eternal responsibility to each other.  Looking back, these are the stories I’ve been lucky enough to carry with me in life and in work, and I pray my luck continues.  I am truly living my dream.

[nautiscarader]

Kim Possible season 3 recap

And here is part 3 of my KP marathon notes. Obligatory thanks to @fereality-indy for encouraging me to watch this awesome show. 

So, what will happen this this time? Will Kim Possible save another kitten from a tree? Will Ron discover something better than nachos? Will Doctor Drakken release the Krakken? Will Shego puncture her ego? Will Lord Monkeyfist buy Club Banana just because he is bonkers? Will Duff Killigan finally score?

So, let’s see what’s the first big problem KP has to deal with!

Kim being alone on a Friday evening. Okay.

Also, amusingly, everyone is doing something on a Friday evening, including the villians. 

Motorhead turns out to be Drakken’s cousin. okay.

And people know the address of Draken’s lair bc of mailing list

See, it’s the little touches like those that make this show a very accurate portrayal of superheroes and villians. 

KP gets jealous of Ron’s friend in wheelchair because they spend too much time together playing video games, so she has to find a way to “fit in”.

Okay, so they can approach it in a sensible and subtle, or so-cringe-worthy-and-painful-the-skip-button-presses-itself way.

So, which did they choose?

painful it is

Few stupid scenes later, Draken STEALs THE WHEELCHAIR FROM A DISABLED KID

shego: what’s next, stealing lolipop from a baby?

and there is a brilliant running joke about it

is it ableist to say that a joke about disabled person is “running”? Well, this is tumblr you gotta be carfeul

Anyway, turns out that Drakken and Jake the Dog make an actual competent combo, even though they end up in prison. And momma Lipski is still clueless about her son’s profession

Next ep: KIM CHANGED HER HAIR! and she looks cute

Ron is a pickle, but that’s normal

Draken and shego steal moodulators (get it?) from random scientist #464

Shego: if you are so smart why do you always steal instead of inventing things yourself

Draken: it’s called outsourcing, shego

God d amit, that is a smart show. 

And of course moodultaors accidentally fall on KP and SHego, so they act random throughout the day. And boy it is weird when it’s set to loveskick

Shego: steals lolipop from a baby for Drakken because she luvs him

KP turns into  a proper stalker mode for her Ronnie

And Monique is completely fine with it. 

and then kim KISSED him!!!

OMG NOSEBLEED

And then poor Ron has no idea what to do with dating KP so suddenly, and the whole scene where he debates what to do is absolute gold with a punchline that defies expectations. 

Draken and Shego go on a date and boy it is weird. SHE CATWALKS TO HIM

I can already see Disney censors thinking when it’s going to be too much for The Mouse

and kim’s dad threatens to send ron to a black hole when he takes her on a date

Also the random professor wants to sell his no-longer-existent moodulaTors on auction and he thinks about blaming it on the mail. You know, i’ve seen some approaches how to handle a world where superheroes/villians/geniuses live in our society (like in BNHA, for example), but KP so far makes it the best approach, because it makes them so relatable. 

And boy the finale is satisfying because everything completely backfires

Shego and KP got stuck in an anGry mode, and chase their boys. Ron tries to hide in the same place as drakken

Drakken: Dibs!

Ron: Double dibs!

Drakken: all right, you won with your superior dib-calling (ACTUAL QUOTE)

And the day is saved thanks to the power of friendship and not that Kp and ron are definitely in love with each other

KP, Ron, Drakken and Shego somehow manage to get into Tv, where they visit parodies of famous shows

Honestly, meh. I remember a similar episode of Teen Titans, that one was funny as heck.

and then we find out who’s the real villian of the middleton high: THE SCARY LIBRARIAN!

And turns out Ron accidentally put a book Kim rented in his backpack, causing her to get into trouble doing library duties. 

So he goes on a mission to revisit all of the bad guys they fought to see where he might have left it

Okay: calling it now, it’s still in his backpack

Shego: Where’s Possible?

Ron: She’s not my girlfriend!

Shego: Never said she was. 

And Ron accidentally saves the world on that book hunt

Lord Monkey:Ron Stoppable!

Ron: You’re the only one, who remembers my name, I respect that

Okay, so Wade can make stuff invisible. Like, how?

And there we go: the book it was in his backpack all the time. 

Oh, and Ron takes a book from Lord Monkeymonkey contaning a spirit of a monkey demon.

And he returns to the library, saving Kim from being bored to death by retunring the book. 

GUESS WHICH ONE HE RETURNED.

Oh, it was another half-episode. Weird. 

And the next one is about giant bugs. Interesting how Kim tells Ron not to be afraid of bugs, and next moment she’s all squirmish while Ron befriends a giant roach and calls him Roachie. 

KP: Ron, did you start working on the project? it was supposed to be autobiographical

ron: No, I’m waiting for it to write itself.

WE MIGHT GET RUFUS’ BACKSTORY!

Oh, and Drakken tried to take over the world with shampoo. Honestly, it’s funny as heck

he tries smarty mart to sell it

he even makes loreal-style ad, but it doesn’t sell

so he tries product placement in a hip hop song, and the artists is like “Aw, hell no”

And then 

and then

turns out that Shego and Drakken are having karaoke night every friday.

God dammit, i don’t know why but that is beyond funny

and turns out that Drakken can sing. 

and shego points out that he could sing about the shampoo

so he goes to an american idol

And I think I realise what really makes it funny: Kp is barely in this episode, helping ron with homework. No evil-doing is actually done, we only get to see, for the most part what goes behind the scenes of an evil plan that is so insanely and unnecessary convoluted it is beyond belief. 

OH, AND kp GETS TO RIVAL HIM ON STAGE, OF COURSE.

people hypnotised by the shampoo so far: one (1) random henchman

one (1) old TV producer in a sauna 

one (1) Simon Cowell

And...holy shit, his song is actually good. 

And instead of KP, who is busy fighting the mean lean green machine, Ron sings about Rufus. The song is titled “Naked Mole Rap”. And it is FREAKING PHENOMENAL.

Oh, add one (1) Shego to the list. 

Okay, so far that is the most crazy episode. Like, seriously, the quality was through the roof.

SCRATCH THAT NEXT EP is EVEN WEIRDER

So, the Team Impossible, which we have learned about in the movie, is angry at KP for saving the world for free, whereas they actually charge people for it. 

And they try to cut Kim from all of her world-traveling assets and knock her out of competition.

THAT IS FUCKING V ILE

And they hack Wade

AND TURNS OUT YOU DON’T FUCK WITH WADE

YOU DON’T CUT THEIR INTERNET CABLES OF A NERD

SINCE THIS IS ONE WAY TO MAKE AN OBESE SUPER GENIOUS  WALK OUT OF THEIR ROOM

AND HE LOOKS SO FREAKING BAD-ASS WHEN HE STORMS INTO THEIR HEADQUATERS

aaand TI is defeated the same way they would have been defeated had they answered the call. 

Pretty funny, and it does go into the details of how on Earth superheroes work in this world. 

And we have another episode about the secret ninja high school Ron was sent to 

And Yori travels to US for Ron 

And Kim is super jelaus

Wade: Kim, you are jelly

Kim: So not

Monique: You are jelly 

Kim: So not

Kim: *is jelly*

So she pretty much stalks Ron all the way to the school, and nearly fails the mission of trying to save the levitating magical jedi principal. Seriously, he’s OP as fuck.

And he’s escaping from a huge monkey. turns out it’s crazy dna lady who turned herself  into monkey for Lord Britishmonkey. 

Next episode is bascially one huge satire on the movie industry, down to the title (”and The mole rat will be CGI”). KIm and Ron accidentally crash a movie set, after Senior Senior Junior crashes it first since he accidentally applied for a role of a henchman in said movie. 

It was supposed to be set in Britian, but the movie set was in New Zealand, since “it was cheaper”

And I was like 

Is that a “Lord of The rings” joke? Someone tell me if I’m right.

Oh, and we have another long episode WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS ANOTHER MOVIE?

And it looks like it’s a three-part episode again, I wonder if the formula’s gonna work again. 

The beginning feels like a short promo scene for people who might not know what KP is about, and I’m not gonna lie, this sums it up perfectly. Action, drama, explosions, more drama, goofy ron, naked mole rat kicking ass and more drama. By the way, what;s the title? 

I guess the intro is an homage to the James Bond ones, with lots of colourful, surreal visuals floating in the background to the soothing, slow music. Love it, too bad it’s short, but again, it had to fit an episode’s running time.

 wait so the Nakasumi president CAN speak English? Even the movie calls him wacky for whispering all the time as if he couldn’t. 

Okay, now the movie just fucks with us. 

mr and mrs possible almost switch their cloaks with important documents, but she switches them back just at the last moment

mr posible ALMOST deletes his work file worth three billion dollars but undos it at the last moment.

it’s like the plot TRIES to start itself

And I bet the key is under the doormat

So the dating drama IS going to be the theme of the movie, huh. 

Wade: Drakken has been spotted in the Bermuda triangle

Bermuda triangle: *turns out to be a hotel*

And Ron just happened to have his suit under the scuba diving gear.

Shego proves to be once again, way more competent than Drakken.

and we have obligatory fight between two kickass ladies in dresses and high heels. This IS a James Bond movie. 

So, the prom drama continues, and it is sadly kinda goes into the cringe territory, with some new dude falling in love with Kim and Kim falling for him, Ron feeling sad, they both being conflicted, yep, seen it. 

But for once Drakken helps the cause and moves the plot forward, stealing some super project from dr Possible.

he deletes the file like he did in the opening, but GASP drakken has some mind reading machine

I do wonder if the coat switcheroo is going to be part of the plot. 

Holy shit

Drakken’s plan is so crazy that it actually makes sense. Take over the buneo nachos and put kiddy meals in it with robot toys that take over the world. And neither kim nor Shego could have forseen it. 

And more prom drama. Ugh. 

I always like when Possible family work together to stop the evil-doers.

So Drakken’s plan was brilliant, minus the part when the entire army of robots shuts down when the signal goes off-line. Kinda a major fuck-up. 

And they kindapped Kim’s boyfriend to lure her.  

OH, SO HE WAS A SYNTH ROBOT

I genuinely didn’t see that coming. 

Drakken learns Ron’s name, yeah! And it’s shot like Drakken’s yelling a curse to the skies, love it. 

Also, HOLY SHIT, Kim kicks Shego into the tower so hard it looks like she was about to kill her. Like, that was genuinely chilling moment, especially with an ominous, lightning-filled close-up onto her later.

Spoiler: she didn’t die. 

Okay, colour me confused: I didn’t think that Kim and Ron were going to kiss and start dating now, I thought this movie was going to be one huge prequel to a movie by the end of S4. Or more precisely, it feels weird NOW, knowing that there is a whole season ahead of me. Cos that felt like a pretty good end of a series, something akin to the Last Airbender one, so I’m slightly concerned how it’s going to be played into season 4, cos this can go haywire pretty easily. 

Uh, not going to lie, I’ve got mixed feelings about the movie. On one hand, it gave us a proper evil plan from Drakken, one that attacks Kim psychologically, showing that for once, he DID his homework and actually studied Kim’s behaviour. On the other, the prom/dating drama is kinda painful to watch, but fortunately gets resolved in the end. Maybe it’s just me, but I had the same expression as Rufus when he and Ron said that guys don’t talk about feelings. It felt kinda clumsy and not subtle at all, and what’s worse, the show itself did way better job of portraying romance in previous episodes, most notably the moodulator one. But as I said, those last few scenes with Ron and Kim fighting together does make up for it. 

also, Rufus once again is the unspoken hero. He did so freaking much, including, but not limited to: saving ron from the tentacle monster, freeing kim and ron, defeating the synth boyfriend, pushing Kim and Ron together... He really is a badass.    

So, not a bad one, though I preferred the first movie. Also, on the whole Season 3 was significantly shorter than second. Wonder what’s gonna happen in the next season.  

[a-valte]

Chapter 1. A dream?

I found myself on the bottom of the cup. In the very corner of the round space. I felt exactly as you do being forgotten at the unnoticed shield somewhere in between the books and old newspapers, where no one cares about you. Moreover, where you’ve just been forgotten long back and never been remembered or even noticed anymore.

It was this specific blind place on the shelf, where we keep things in a hurry or rushed ignorance and then never see again unless really meant to. It’s been so long I was not even sure who did it to me. But it doesn’t really matter anyway, it was not an act of evil, but what hurts so much more - innocent indifference.

Sinking and hugging my knees somewhere next to the new life started to appear in this poor cup, even the cave paintings were there from the black tea drunken what felt like centuries ago. This place was not even good enough to die. Cold, dirty and disgusting, but it suited the situation perfectly well.

I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t focus on looking for the resque. That place it’s not something someone had ever been to before. At least that’s exactly the thoughts being planted in my head at the moment. I wanted to cry and I cried, silently asking why do I have to go through all this, what did I do to be so down, to feel so much lost, forgotten, disliked, left and miserable.

I wished that time I could finish it, but I had no enough courage, neither power to cut myself off this desperate existence. Time stopped or it passed fast, but in this case it didn’t really matter, I stopped noticing anything other than my anguish. But after I stopped resisting it came so overwhelming and filling, it brought me up and threw me down, where I laid unless all the memories and sensations were gone. 

I resseracted, still not clean and clear enough, still hurt and damaged, but already being able to see, to notice my breath, to stand up. The sound reached my ears. After going deep in the dust of yourself you expect to hear the singing of the phoenix to bring you back, but that was simply the clinking of the keyboard. A little bit louder than usual, but without a doubt that was it. As it got me curious I knew the show is not over yet. As much as I wanted to die a moment of eternity ago, I wanted to know what’s going on outside of this buble now. 

Suddenly it appeared that the cup wasn’t this deep, but I got to jump high. Tried and fell. Felt powerless, got angry, jumped too strong, kicked myself, relaxed, got angry, ran, jumped, stretched. I got furious with the speed, I forgot to stop and think, threw myself there, exhausted, after a while the intention was too strong to keep up with it, unless I was waisted. 

I resseracted or only woke up again. Nothing changed except the peace. I could still hear the clicking, but I didn’t care this much, I got tired of being excited, got tired of being upset, but still not tired of being. Good enough. That time I made only one jump, I held the edge of the cup and pulled myself up, keeping the balance with the feet. Monkey nature was delighted. 

The sound was coming from the huge room, looking exactly the same as the one I used to live in, but better organized, very clean and full of light as during the most sunny summer days. I climbed a little more to sit on the edge, the sound and even the smell were so familiar. I was afraid I knew what I’m gonna see when I turned my head and I was terrified to do that.

I felt this terrible urge to do that though, which is as pleasant as painful and doesn’t leave you a choice, so, holding a breath, I looked there. 

That hair was my hair, those arms had exactly the same length as mine, but maybe multiplied by 100 or 88, or what is the magic number? From the back she looked exactly like me, I couldn’t explain how, but I could bet on anything. Though there was something, in fact so much of this something different. Unusually straighten posture with a casual grace I  could have only tried to imagine. And the hair was brighter, softer and longer. I thought I am going mad. 

- Who are you?, - suddenly I’ve heard my own voice sounding much more offended and demanding than I ever wished for. 

She turned immediately but slowly and with the delightful leisure, her eyes were raying with the laughter, admiration and calmness. We were staring at each other for a few seconds or minutes or maybe hours.

- That’s quite a question, - she smiled at me at last.

- But why didn’t you help me?

- Because you’ve done it perfectly well on your own and if fact....but we will hold on to it for a while, I am really glad you made it and never doubted you will.

- So you admit you knew I was there?, - I kinda started to get angry, but the intensity was so much less than I used to, I had to stop and try harder, but....

- Just let it, you don’t really wanna go there. Not right now, - her face didn’t change a shadow in its shining serenity. Suddenly I caught myself drawn to her face, my face.... the face I learned to hate, but I couldn’t reject loving it right there, something was perfectly on its place, it was just like looking at the flower when you open your eyes enough to see the pattern in which the cells are dancing creating perfect shapes, colours and combinations. 

- Why am I here? 

- Why not? - the words made a twist together with the voice, drilling a pleasant hole in my head. All the questions were sinking there and I kept making an effort to hold them on, to stop them from disappearing, so much I wanted to say, to ask, to scream, even to cry....

- Ah, really? You’re so dramatic, aren’t you? One of the reasons I love you so much, she smiled in my 32, so shining, so annoyingly content. 

- That’s what you tell everyone? Or do you always find a different set of words?

- Everyone..... in this case, there is no one else here for you to compare. Will it really matter then?

- But I know they exist, maybe out of here, somewhere. I know, I’ve seen... 

- What if out of here doesn’t exist as well? Maybe, it’s all just your mind trip.

- But I coud have never imagined you.

- You have a disturbing tendency to underestimate your imagination. - she kept observing me, evaluating unemotionally, picking up the words from the diffused space around. 

- But I could never underestimate yours.

- If you say so, - and there again she was smiling with every sell of the space, but I planned our conversation in a different manner and you kinda ruined the eternity of preparation....

- And, before you even complete the idea of bringing up the excuses, I love it! 

My teeth made a clicking sound from a sudden drop as I was about to argue. I smiled instead and it felt close.

- I would love to know your default plan. 

- I thought I would be answering some of the questions, but the previous estimation didn’t take the middle development into consideration and it appeared to be you have already passed certain levels. Then better. Are you ready to see?

- To see what? 

- You’re just about to choose. 

And so it went dark. 

[akours]

all the frickin bears in care bear asks

Cheer Bear: What never fails to cheer you up? honestly?? aqours 


Tenderheart Bear: A piece of advice you can give? uhh i got nothin??
Bedtime Bear: How do you sleep? i have a fuzzy blanket on me then a heavy comforter on top of that and usually on my stomach


Share Bear: Most recent present you’ve given to someone? im gonna give my gf her bday present soon but i cant remember the last gift ive given before that


Friend Bear: Which friend do you have the most in common with? hmm @kittensai probably??


Grumpy Bear: One thing that never fails to anger you? being ignored


Wish Bear: Someone or something you have faith in? idk???


Funshine Bear: Favourite way to spend a sunny day? sunshine is too bright


Love-a-Lot Bear: What qualities in someone would you consider romantic? idk?? thinking of the other and taking care of them and sending them things u think would make them happy


Good Luck Bear: Create a fortune cookie note based on your week. the week just started but idk?? try new things

 
Birthday Bear: What would you wear to a costume party? i wore a onesie to a costume party like a month ago


Champ Bear: Favourite way to exercise? None


Harmony Bear: List 7 colours you really like. pastel yellow, mint, rose goldish, red, blue, idk


Secret Bear: Say one word related to a secret you must keep. hate?? idk


Take Care Bear: How is your health? not very good i feel sick!


Best Friend Bear: Favourite thing about your best friend? she always makes me happy


Daydream Bear: Something you often fantasize about? idk cheesy romantic things i guess??


Work of Heart Bear: What kind of things do you like to create? i personally like to draw the same character in the same position with the same facial expression again and again and again and again 


Amigo Bear: What languages would you like to learn? maybe spanish bc it would be useful?


Smart Heart Bear: A topic you’re really knowledgeable about? fuckin. love live


Do Your Best Bear: What part of yourself do you want to improve? being nicer and not saying every word that pops into my head


Sweet Dreams Bear: The last dream you remember having? i was wearing a really puffy dress and it was super cute it was like what aqours wore in their christmas minilive and i had frilly socks on and i was very small and skinny and thats all i remember


Laugh-a-Lot Bear: What do your laughs sound like? loud and ugly


Shine Bright Bear: When do you feel you look your best? my face looks ok when i first wake up and my hair is like never ok 


Heartsong Bear: What types of music do you like to listen to? literally i listen to love live every day and sometimes glass animals, rn im kinda trying out kpop to see if i like it,


Superstar Bear: What would you be world famous for? whining!


Oopsy Bear: Last time you accidentally hurt yourself? earlier today i slammed my elbow on the table


Wonderheart Bear: Something that leaves you completely in awe? my girlfriend!


Grams Bear: Words of wisdom you’ve received from your elders? just wait till the real world


Baby Hugs & Tugs: What is your most childish aspect? i whine alot and im needy


Brave Heart Lion: A time where you had to be really brave? idk im not brave at all


Loyal Heart Dog: Friend you’ve known the longest and for how long? lena ,,, since like 4th grade


Bright Heart Raccoon: Favourite subject in school? history and writing maybe


Swift Heart Rabbit: What are your most exciting hobbies? i dont have any


Lotsa Heart Elephant: How strong are you, physically and mentally? physically - 3, mentally - 1


Cozy Heart Penguin: How do you like to keep warm? lots of blankets and jackets 


Playful Heart Monkey: Favourite game to play with friends? i LOVE UNO!!! i fucking love uno!!!!


Gentle Heart Lamb: What brings out your soft side? babies and my favorite characters,


Treat Heart Pig: What is your favourite way to treat yourself? when my fav youtuber posts my fav series of vid i lay in bed n watch it w a snack


Proud Heart Cat: Something you’re proud of about yourself? im not dead yet??


Noble Heart Horse: What morals are most important to you? idk dont cheat and try to be nice


No Heart: Something you don’t care about? basically everything

[zairehyun-blog]

can you do all of the ask things? 🙈

OH GOD 

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

mic drop - btstraining wheels - melanie martinez drive - halseydo i wanna know - arctic monkeysnicotine - panic! at the disco ready for it - taylor swift 

bonus: forever - exo, earned it - the weeknd, & cherry bomb - nct 127

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

fhgjfkjhgf maybe my mom

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

answered

4: What do you think about most?

answered

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

from my twin and it says “I FUCKING SWEAR SQUISHY YAWNED”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

ok it depends here. it depends on how cold it is and if my boyfriend is willing to share his shirt but normally no

7: What’s your strangest talent?

i’m like really flexible for no reason??? 

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

answered 

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

i’ve had my sister’s stalker write a poem abt me akfjdhskl 

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

answered

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

no lol 

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Wh- who does that-

13: What’s your religion?

answered

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

trying to go back inside no but probably taking pictures of the sky to show my dad lmao

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

answered

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

fdhsfjk between exo or bts

17: What was the last lie you told?

i told my dads that my sister was the one who broke a lamp ASFJSD

18: Do you believe in karma?

answered

19: What does your URL mean?

answered

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

i talk abt my twin a lot but, being away from her literally drains me of my energy, and i’m not sure abt my greatest strength lmao

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

this mAN

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

answered

23: How do you vent your anger?

i write it down or i tell someone im really close too

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

of very long sweaters lol

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

it depends,,, im a really talkative person so i guess both

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Kinda, I’m still learning who I am, so I can’t answer this yet. 

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

answered

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

answered

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

tHIS HOUSE IS FUCKiNg haunted no one tell me otherwise and, i do because how can we be the only species in the entire galaxy?? it doesn’t make sense

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

I touch my boyfriend and he looked at me like “what the fuck are you doing” asghsjf i also touched a pillow

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

answered (still cologne) 

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

fcuckIng school

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

I love both :(((

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

fdhjfkdfh i don’t know lmao

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

mansae - matthew 2k17

36: Define Art.

the way he looks at me

37: Do you believe in luck?

Yeah

38: What’s the weather like right now?

Perfect tbqh

39: What time is it?

8:40 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes and no

41: What was the last book you read?

Alice in wonderland

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

ADJFHSDjfk i don’t like it but i also don’t hate it

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Zaza, Z & then my korean name (which I won’t state.)

44: What was the last film you saw?

“IT”

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I broke my pinky and now it can bend in weird ways

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

YeS GHJDSKF

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

I’ve been getting into more animes and I’m getting back into cosplay lmao

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

answered

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

answered

50: Do you believe in magic?

yes i am a magical little bean

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

it depends on how wrong the thing they did was lmao

52: What is your astrological sign?

Pisces

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I save it and then I spend it on other people HAHA

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

i bought myself a promise ring (for smth personal agfhkjsf)

55: Love or lust?

love

56: In a relationship?

to my lovely baby (’:

57: How many relationships have you had?

2 but if you count this one then 3

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no

59: Where were you yesterday?

at school & i went out to dinner C:

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yes 

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

no

62: What’s your favourite animal?

🦄

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

tbh my hair or my charm lmAo

64: Where is your best friend?

She’s in Seoul >:c

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

answered

66: What is your heritage?

Korean, Japanese & Arabian

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

eating

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Satan is his last name his first name is Lucifer

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

answered

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yes, honestly. That’s what I aspired to be, to be what my younger self needed.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

ILL SAVE THAT FUCKING DOG LIKE IM ABOUT TO DIE FUCK MY JOB. IM NOT LETTING A DOG DIE

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I’m not sure if I answer all of these so I will

A, I would but I wouldn’t because I wouldn’t want anyone hurt but I know that they would be hurt even more if I didn’t say anything so ??? 

B, I would spend it with people I love 

C, Yes. 

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

ASFJHDS love.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

DIAMOND BY EXO AKSFDSJK

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

answered

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust & communication

77: How can I win your heart?

^^

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

We’re all a little mad.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

saying i love you

80: What size shoes do you wear?

11

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“we’ll love again we’ll laugh again and it’s better off this way”

82: What is your favourite word?

adventure idk why

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

well i think of andi but i also think abt him.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“FATHER SUE HIM/HER/THEM”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

mic drop

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

pastel colours & black and purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

my twin, her fiance, my nephew, my boyfriend, my parents & myself lol

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

my sister’s stalker

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

I’m not sure lmao

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I’d would be like “how thE FUCK DID YOU GET HERE, and u can stay if u want just don’t be a dick.” then i’d let them stay and i’d be the real mummy of the groUP IM SORRY

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

FLYING/TELEPORTATION

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

When I said i love you

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

what she did to me that night akfjhgjfdks

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

,,,baekhyun,,,,

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

BACK TO OSAKA TO SEE MY FAMILY 

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

my uncle

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

no

98: Ever been on a plane?

yes

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

answered but that i still love my boyfriend 🌷

[spin-me-a-tapestry]

85 question game

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag twenty people

tagged by @dasfreefree

the last

drink: water

phone call: a work call lol

text message: (to my friendo kelsey) “aahhhh omg i totally forgot lolol ill do it tonighy”

song you listened to: Do I Wanna Know? by The Arctic Monkeys

time you cried: *katya voice* i havent felt emotion since the accident (jk it was yesterday lolol)

dated someone twice: never lolol

kissed someone and regretted it: back in junior year of high school when i had to kiss someone on stage for the musical lolol

been cheated on: never

lost someone special: i guess when my grandma died which was 3 years ago now

been depressed: right now lololol

gotten drunk and thrown up: back in junior year of college i did a performance art piece for one of my classes where i filmed myself taking a shot of vodka roughly every minute for a half hour (i ended up consuming like 19 shots)

three favourite colours

baby blue

forest green

baby pink

in the last year have you

made new friends: hhmmmm idk??  ive def met new people

fallen out of love: idt ive ever been in love so uuhh no

laughed until you cried: prob this past weekend

found out someone was talking about you: idk im always paranoid about other people talking about me tho

met someone who changed you: not really

found out who your friends are: i guess??

kissed someone on your facebook list: nope

general

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? basically everyone

do you have any pets? yep! a kitty

do you want to change your name? not really, i cant really picture myself with any other name tbh

what did you do for your last birthday? my friend took me out to brickwall tavern and i had a really good chicken pot pie

what time did you wake up? for work i have to get up at like 6 or 6:30 but when im not working it depends on how late i stayed up the previous night lolol

what were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping

name something you can’t wait for: to move the fuck ooouuutttt and also to have enough money to go on a trip somewhere ive been dying to travel

when was the last time you saw your mum: last night cause uuhhh i live at home still :’)

what are you listening to right now? the sound of my own typing

have you ever talked to a person named tom? yeh!!  i was friends with a guy named tom in college and we had a lot of studio classes together but i havent talked to him in a while

something that is getting on your nerves: work related things

most visited website: its between tumblr youtube and facebook i kinda just check those three on an endless loop all the time

hair colour: blonde but im trying to grow the color out so my natural colors coming through (its like a light brown)

long or short hair: suuuuuuuper long i havent gotten a haircut in like a year

do you have a crush on someone? yeh sort of

what do you like about yourself? im smart and funny and actually have some common sense B) B) B)

piercings: just one on each ear

blood type: omg i used to know this and i forgot but i think im AB something

nickname: ernie B)

zodiac: capricorn

pronouns: she/her

favourite tv show(s): Rupauls Drag Race, Steven Universe, Legion, Chewing Gum, Bob’s Burgers, Louie, Black Mirror, Face Off

tattoos: none but i want one sooo baaaddd

right or left handed: left!

surgery: got my wisdom teeth removed and got a mole excised but thats it

sport: played basketball for 2 weeks in the 1st grade lololol

vacation: last time i went on a legit vacation was last year to Cape Cod with the fam

pair of trainers: sketchers B)

more general

eating: nothing right now but i just had a panera sandwich & chips & a cookie for lunch

drinking: water

i’m about to: avoid doing more work for the next like 10 minutes

waiting for: this day to be over so i can go home and sleep

want: to go to the beach again before summers over but the weathers been so crappy

get married: i honestly dont want to???  like if i settle down with someone and they wanna get married i would but if they didnt id be cool with that too

career: just trying to make money and pay my bills tbh i havent done what i actually enjoy doing (art) in months

which is better?

hugs or kisses: ive never been kissed before but i think id enjoy kisses more tbh

lips or eyes: waahhh this is a hard one!!!  uuhhhh eyes

shorter or taller: taller

older or younger: older or same age

nice arms or nice stomach: both please (but nice arms is always gud)

hookup or relationship: relationship!

troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant but its my secret fantasy to be a troublemaker rebel lil shit who doesnt care about anything and like has millions of piercings and a shaved head and wears leather jackets all the time u feel me

have you ever

kissed a stranger: nope!

drank hard liquor: thats literally all i drink lolol

lose glasses/contact lenses: i lost my glasses multiple times as a child my parents were not happy with me

turned someone down: yeah a few times and i honestly regret it but im such a nervous anxiety-ridden lil shit its a vicious cycle

sex on the first date: prob not i would get nervous just kissing someone on the first date

had your heart broken: oh yeah

been arrested: nope!  just pulled over a couple times

cried when someone died: yes

fallen for a friend: hehehehehehehehehehehehehe

do you believe in

yourself: recently not really but im trying

miracles: not really??  its nice to think that miracles do happen but im not spiritual/religious enough to fully believe in them

love at first sight: hell no its a lie

santa claus: i mean who else gives me sick presents certainly not my parents who eerily have the same exact handwriting as santa claus

kiss on the first date: never been kissed never kissed anyone so no

angels: idk about this one cause i like to think that somehow family members who have died are looking out for me???  but again my atheist ass finds it hard to believe

other

eye colour: green!

favourite movie: u cant ask me this do u know how many movies ive seen i cant even count all my fave movies on both my hands

idfk who else to tag cause all the people i know have already been tagged so if u see this and u follow me DO IT IF U HAVENT ALREADY DONE IT!!!!!!!

[murasaki-murasame]

Monogatari Series Rewatch Part 4: Bakemonogatari [Nadeko Snake]

I’m doing it, I’m finally getting around to this, aah. Here we go.

Who else is ready for two episodes of ‘if only you could understand how much drama and pain your superficial understanding of Nadeko’s emotional problems is gonna cause you down the line, Araragi’, cause I sure am.

Thoughts under the cut.

[This got way longer than expected. Can you tell that I really love Nadeko as a character, and love talking about her?]

PART ONE:

-I haven’t talked a whole lot about any art-related things in a while [since I never know how to phrase my praise for this sorta thing without being kinda repetitive and aimless], but I really love the plain colour/gradient effect used for stuff like the bamboo forest. It’s definitely a cost-cutting measure, but for some reason I really like it. I guess, in a weird way, I really like the simple backgrounds that draw more focus to the characters, and make the show feel like even more of a stage play where everything other than the characters themselves are just props.

-It still gives me the warm fuzzies, that Araragi and Kanbaru immediately got back to being friends after the last arc. Their friendship is a wonderful part of the series.

-And here she is! Snake girl! Hoo boy, this is where we get into the start of some of the extended story elements. Though from what I remember, you tend to leave this arc for the first time not thinking that there’s anything deeper to her character and that she won’t show up again. LOLNOPE.

-Just to get it said right off the bat, Nadeko is honestly one of my favourite characters in the entire show, at least from my vague memories of my first time watching the series. I found myself relating to her and understanding her issues way more than I thought I would. I think it wasn’t until Otori that I paid much attention to her, but I feel like that goes for everyone. I totally get why she’s such a divisive character, though. I respect that.

-And here we have one of the single most iconic and memorable anime OPs of all time. Holy shit this song used to be EVERYWHERE. So many parodies and mash-ups and remixes. It’s weird to look back at the original. Especially since there’s so many little elements to it, mostly in the lyrics, that really bluntly hint at her various issues, and the direction her story takes. One of the very first lines in the OP is, more or less, ‘if words will destroy our relationship, then silence is fine’. Though it’s hard not to see this entire OP as being really meaningful when it’s so connected in my head to the Nadeko Medusa OP. I still adore how Renai Circulation is basically Nadeko’s idealized view of herself and her unrequited crush on Araragi, while Mousou Express is a more objective look at how obsessive her feelings actually are. I love it so much. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

-Also, as a side note, I think this OP was my first exposure to the series before I actually sat down and watched it about three or so years ago, and for the longest damn time I seriously thought that Nadeko had green hair. It took me a while to get used to her normal hair colour.

-Oh yeah, this is the first time we see the shrine, as well as the talisman thingy. Huh. I at least thought that the talisman didn’t appear until as far as Nise or SS. Weird. It makes me remember how sorta surprising it was to see the shrine become such a recurring setting, and such a big element of the overall story. But it really does just keep popping up. It’s probably one of the things I have the least of a grasp of, though, especially with how the various goings-on with it fit into the timeline. But I at least remember that the whole deal with the shrine is that it’s like the spiritual hotspot of the town, and that everyone wants to use it for their own purposes, mostly in terms of using it to maintain ‘balance’ in the town.

-Senjougahara continues to be utterly savage even when she’s not part of the scene. NICE.

-Huh, I genuinely forgot that apparently Kanbaru’s arm is gonna heal over the next five years or so. Huh. That’s a pretty major thing to forget. I feel like they never bring it up after this point, though. So that’s probably why. I guess it slightly lessens the whole tragedy of what happened to her, but I guess it was probably a bit too fucked up of a concept for her to be stuck with a monkey arm for the rest of her life.

-For some reason I thought that the shrine was intact by this point in time and just got destroyed in a later arc. Guess not. [[If it’s not clear already I have a surprisingly shit memory of a lot of specific story details with this show. Especially in the early arcs like this. Since I haven’t watched them in several years. Also I’ve only read the LN versions of the first three Bake arcs, and have been procrastinating about the rest, so this is the start of where I truly haven’t really experienced the story in years]]

-Obviously this is a bigger aspect of later arcs, and I’ll discuss it more then, but holy shit does Araragi have the WORST memory possible. It’s almost hilarious how many issues in his life are caused by it. I can’t exactly blame him for not remembering one of his little sisters’ school friends who he hasn’t seen in six years but still. This is just a hint of what’s to come, I guess. And really his issue with Nadeko is less him forgetting her, and more him just not paying that much attention to her or trying to investigate her issues. Which, again, I can’t blame him for. Most of the things Araragi does like this are completely realistic and understandable even if we as the audience can see the dramatic irony involved.

-[Oh man, now that I’m remembering more of Nadeko’s story, it’s just now dawning on me for the first time how similar a lot of her story is to that one character from Umineko who I won’t name because of spoilers. They’re very different characters in general, but wow there’s at least some pretty overt superficial comparisons to be made. Huh. I need to remember to make a post about that character once I’m properly done with Umineko]

-Oh yeah, by this point in the story Nadeko was already going off into the mountains to ritualistically murder small animals. Yep. This sure is a thing that’s already happening. I forget the exact context of this, but yeah in hindsight this is a pretty clear indicator that she has some serious issues. Even if I can at least remember enough to know that she was trying to take the snake curse off herself. Still, stabbing hordes of snakes to a tree is messed up.

-I love all of Hanekawa’s shifty/squinty expressions during the whole scene here at the bookstore. She really does have a way of coming across as really composed, even though you can always tell, especially in hindsight, that she’s not as composed as she might let on.

-It’s still interesting to me how Nadeko’s hat makes her look a bit like a snake. Even her loose jacket kinda reminds me of shed snake skin. I know that basically all of the main girls have elements of their oddities incorporated into their designs, but I feel like Nadeko is probably the most subtle about it. Other than maybe Hanekawa. Either way, I really love this outfit of hers. I sometimes feel like wearing a jacket like that, but it always feels a little silly and pointless, and I’d probably worry about it not sitting still properly.

-I just got reminded by this one particular shot where he looks really nice, but, I really do think that Araragi is pretty dang attractive. I only really notice it with certain scenes, though. But when it’s there, it’s there. Obviously I’m sorta alone in feeling this way, lol.

-I appreciate Hanekawa taking the time to try and explain to Araragi that he’s way too wishy washy with his feelings, and way too nice and open with girls in a way that can come across as a lack of faithfulness to his actual girlfriend. It’s a lesson that he really needs to learn, as do many such protagonists. You can really get why Senjougahara is so clingy and distrustful in her own way. [Although I also do feel like Kanbaru is a weird character to use to set up this topic considering that she’s, you know, a lesbian. Oh well. Hanekawa’s point still stands]

-Huh, they’re already bringing up her intentions to travel the world once she graduates. Huh. I thought that only got bought up around Neko:Shiro. It’s also making me even more antsy about waiting for the eventual adaptation of Off Season because I REALLY wanna see that one arc that’s apparently about her travels.

-Oh boy, all these not so subtle hints about Hanekawa’s home life. My heart is not ready for when we actually focus on that.

-I seriously love every scene in this show that has red/orange lighting like this. It looks so fantastic. It really sets the mood.

-Of course the first thing Kanbaru does upon entering Araragi’s room for the first time is to loudly search for his porn while taunting him about how much she’s aware of his kinks and fetishes. Isn’t she the best?

-Yeah this whole scene is just as creepy as ever. Christ. Although I still cannot fucking believe that they reference that one goddamn meme during this scene as well. It’s surreal. Though not quite as surreal as Attack on Titan referencing it for a recent magazine cover spread. I’m still reeling from that one.

-I’m pretty sure that Nadeko is still only like two or three years younger than him, but this whole thing is still . . . iffy. But obviously it’s meant to be iffy and weird.

-Especially in hindsight, it’s really sad seeing Nadeko talk about hating her body, and wanting to be saved by the person she has a crush on. Damn. Though the whole idea of her actively asking to be saved really sets up the big issue with this arc [so to say] and how it sets up Otori. I just feel bad for everyone involved.

PART TWO:

-I’m loving the shadow puppet hands going on that look like snakes. It really adds to the creepy atmosphere. Same with the really stark contrast between the dark shadows and the bright bluish-white lighting. Also, I dunno if I’ve mentioned it yet, but I love how Oshino is just the master of setting up school desks and chairs in increasingly elaborate ways, and sitting on them in increasingly implausible ways. In general I just love the use of props, staging, framing, and body language to construct a scene, in addition to the dialogue that makes up the meat of it. Obviously this is where Shaft’s influence shines through the most, since this is exactly the sort of stuff that’s fundamentally not part of the LNs. It’s really interesting to me how they took something like the basic descriptions of Oshino sleeping on a makeshift bed made of desks and blankets and whatnot, and went completely wild with the imagery of it.

-This is just a matter of the version of the subs I’m reading, but man is it throwing me off how the dialogue subtitles translate certain terms differently than the on-screen text subtitles do. Especially since I can also obviously hear the Japanese term being used and I have a vague idea of it’s inherent meaning, so I wind up with like three separate terms for the same thing being thrown at me at once and it’s sorta disorienting. 

-[On the note of subs, I probably should have mentioned this before but it’s so weird to me seeing Hanekawa’s catchphrase translated any way other than ‘I don’t know everything. I just know what I know’. Anything else feels kinda blasphemous, even though it’s by far the most petty issue I could have translation-wise. I at least feel like any translation of that line should be consistent, to get across the fact that it’s the same line being repeated. I feel like the subs I’m using have translated it inconsistently once or twice, and it bugs me.]

-OK I guess this is another sub note, but I must have glazed over the line of ‘Living without words, no, dying, huh?’ in the OP the first time round. Huh. It comes across slightly mangled in English even though it’s a kinda neat pun in Japanese [it’s basically using ‘shi nuki’ vs ‘shinu ki’. I’d use the actual kanji they use if I knew what they were, but yeah that gets it across well enough]. Either way, it’s one of the various lines in this OP that really bluntly hint at how much of an issue it is for Nadeko to hide her true feelings behind a mask of cuteness and silence. I like how, via puns, it manages to effectively equate silence with death, which is pretty accurate and foreboding, considering that her repressed issues turn into murderous violence.

-It’s one of those things that makes me seriously wonder how much of Nadeko’s character arc Nisioisin had planned from the start. I know that he kinda plays it off as ‘haha, her voice actress wants to play an evil character, let’s make Nadeko into the final boss lol’, but I’d be surprised if it was anything so spontaneous and unplanned. So much of this arc really blatantly hints at how disturbed and unhealthy Nadeko is, and her issues are left so blatantly unresolved in this arc in a way that feels almost counter to the entire theme of the story [which is exactly why it comes back to bite everyone later]. I at least like to think that he was planning it all from the start, and was kinda messing around with stereotypes to try and make both Araragi and the reader glaze over all of Nadeko’s problems, and the logical consequences of this arc, while just seeing her as a cute girl. I dunno. Maybe I’m giving him too much credit. I know that it sometimes bothers me how much the series really, unironically plays up the ‘look what a [superficially] cute and innocent and naive little girl she is! So moe!’ angle at times, even though pretty much the entire idea of her character is how damaging it is to ignore and glaze over a person’s depth and their problems by valuing them solely for their cuteness or youth or purity or whatever, so . . . eh.

-It’s definitely interesting how it looks like Oshino never even sees Nadeko for himself in this arc, and just hears about her problem from Araragi. Given how good he tends to be at noticing when a person isn’t a pure, innocent victim in their whole story. I wonder how things might have gone if he’d seen her up close. I could at least see him noticing the thing she does where she hides behind her hair.

-I just thought after seeing the scene describing the invisible snake that’s constricting her body and about to kill her, but there’s a lot of parts of the story that are interesting to examine if you want to interpret the oddities as mostly just being reflective metaphors for emotional problems. Obviously in the context of the story they’re literally real, but still, I think it’s valid to interpret things this way if only as a way to understand what role each oddity plays, and what they show about each character. [And it seems relevant to bring up with Nadeko in particular, since the entire twist of Otori is that the oddity in that was literally just a reflection of her emotional issues and not even a ‘real supernatural thing’]. It’s interesting to look at how, at least thus far [I forget what else we learn about the snake curse incident later in this episode since I have it paused partway at the moment so I’m probably gonna feel real dumb in a few minutes lol], we’re dealing with a case of Nadeko being bitterly hated by one of her classmates for simply turning down a guy that the other girl liked, and now she’s off in the mountains killing small animals to try and lessen this horrible, constricting pain that makes her feel like she’s about to die, which is making her hate her body, and just want somebody to save her. I mean, I know I’m just literally describing what’s going on at this point, but it’s definitely easy to not quite consider the extent of what’s going on here if you get caught up in the snake curse concept. It’s a bit too easy to get the order of events wrong and assume that this magical curse is the sole cause of her problems and her negative feelings, and that it’ll be totally fine to just exorcise it. And it’s kinda sad how even Nadeko, understandably, sees it that way too. It’s pretty obvious that she doesn’t want to examine her feelings and their root causes and how they affect her life and how she thinks, and as a young, sheltered girl she might not even have any real idea HOW to do that sort of introspection. It’s pretty depressing, really.

-They even point out that ‘the curse’ was mostly caused by Nadeko’s whole ‘killing small animals’ thing, but Araragi of course thinks it’d be totally fine if Nadeko just did the animal-killing in a different place. In terms of the in-universe logic at hand, yes it might have prevented the supernatural curse placed upon her by it, but even with that in mind, we’re still dealing with someone who’s ritualistically killing animals to try and alleviate their psychological pain and the self-loathing tied in with that. The story even implicitly spells out the fact that Nadeko’s actions weren’t caused by the supernatural cause, but by her own emotional pain, when it talks about how the animal-killing caused her curse. So the blindingly obvious issue at hand here really has barely anything to do with the curse itself. The curse isn’t really the cause of anything, it’s the RESULT of everything else. It’s almost physically painful to see Araragi saying all this and obviously not even considering that there’s issues at hand that will persist even after this exorcism. But again, it’s the sort of thing where it’s just dramatically ironic that he isn’t noticing something that we can more easily see as outside readers. Still doesn’t make it any less painful to watch, though.

-I seriously cannot even state enough that the story is really openly talking about how Nadeko was *ritualistically killing small animals* before any sort of a life-threatening snake curse was involved. Again, it’s super hard not to think that the author was totally aware of all this, and was planning her arc out from the start. I mean, the big thing with each arc, especially in Bake, tends to be about Araragi being mistaken about the order of events involved in a case, and/or not letting himself notice something about the girl in question that should be obvious to anyone else. But in each arc he’s usually told about the things he’s about about, and he figures out the truth in the end. So it’s super obvious how in this arc that point just . . . never quite connects. Araragi gets his moment of pointing out that the curse came after the snake-killing, but nobody steps in to push him to consider what that actually MEANS. And honestly I know that I give him a lot of slack for not really trying to get deeper into her problems, but at the same time it feels like you should really look into getting someone actual, non-supernatural help when they start killing animals to cope with their emotions. JUST SAYING.

-And yeah here’s a big reason why I find Araragi’s role in this to be kinda tragically realistic and understandable. He DOES, in his own way, start to consider Nadeko’s own emotional pain and her unhealthy way of repressing her emotions, and he DOES tell her that she doesn’t need to do that, and that she can open up to him if she wants. I think he handles the situation much better than a lot of people might. So I can’t really blame him much. Really, the major issue is just that even after hearing all this, Nadeko still doesn’t really follow his advice. Which is realistic and understandable and tragic in it’s own way. She clearly appreciates his kindness and dependability, but it doesn’t change the fact that she probably barely even knows how to comprehend and vocalize her feelings, and it doesn’t change the fact that she presumably doesn’t want to do anything more to violate her cute-girl image. She probably doesn’t want Araragi hating her, or being grossed out by her, or anything. Which just reminds me how much it also hurt me when she literally started crying when Araragi admitted that he felt kinda dirty seeing her mostly naked body. Like damn. I didn’t really talk about it at the time, but it’s honestly kinda just sad to watch how even when she was at her most exposed and vulnerable, even when she was literally begging Araragi to save her from her pain and self-loathing and how much her body feels constricted and stifling, his and Kanbaru’s reaction was mostly just to talk about Nadeko’s bloomer shorts and whatnot. Again, not really casting any blame here, but . . . damn. I don’t really know if I would have reacted any differently if I was in her shoes.

-On a different topic, I love the shot of the winding path and the river looking like two intersecting black and white snakes when seem from above. It’s a really neat image.

-’I don’t really remember that much from my childhood. My memory’s not that great’. I’m just gonna sit here and keep laughing at this whenever it gets bought up in the story. This is seriously the root of like 50% of his problems in life. It’s hilarious.

-But on a more serious note, we get yet another moment where he makes a vague yet sincere attempt at learning more about her and understanding her situation more accurately, but she doesn’t really tell him the whole truth [since he doesn’t really remember her and it’d just make things awkward if she discussed it openly] and so he obviously doesn’t really have a chance to understand the true overall situation. He clearly just ends up seeing it as something he can forget about and not dig too deeply into because ‘it doesn’t concern him’, but HOO BOY is that so not the case. It’s seriously painful how accurate and relatable it is for Nadeko to be hiding the exact truth from him, though, even if it’s unhealthy. It’s obviously worth pointing out that, just like Araragi, she also isn’t exactly aware how bad things will get for her and how much her own lack of action and communication will mess with her. And so she just continues to be evasive and quiet, while letting herself be happy that Araragi is at least being nice to her, and talking to her, and trying to understand her.

-I can just imagine Nadeko as a little girl, being pretty much alone, and envying the idea of having an older brother. Aww :C Especially when, as we learn way later in Koi, she’s pretty emotionally distant with her parents as well, and they also just mostly see her as being their cute daughter [I’m getting WAY ahead of myself and will discuss this more when we get to Koi itself, but I still vividly remember the moment of Kaiki trying to ask Nadeko’s parents to actually describe her as a person and they just . . . can’t.]

-Along the lines of what I said about the scene at the end of part one, it’s seriously uncomfortable and awkward how Nadeko gets put in a school swimsuit for this whole scene. Seeing her severe self-esteem issues and whatnot be framed through a lens of sexualization is . . . kinda disturbing. Even the fact that, even though she’s clearly not entirely comfortable with the entire situation, she still wants Araragi to look at her is kinda sad.

-Why you gotta twist the knife in my heart with all these flashbacks, anime? :C My heart just hurts so much for Nadeko on so many levels. I can perfectly understand how she so quickly and obsessively developed these feelings of romantic love and a broader desire to be seen and understood and cared for. [[Also this is a really nice instrumental remix of Renai Circulation]]

-Part of me wonders what’s going on in Nadeko’s head while she’s sitting there, praying to have her pain taken away. Part of me thinks it might just make me feel even worse if I knew.

-Oh yeah, right, this ends with them just . . . throwing the snake away and being like ‘eeeeh it’s not our issue anymore’, doesn’t it? And then lo and behold, the snake goes back to it’s sender who then gets manipulated by Ougi into attacking Kaiki. WELP. Like seriously so much of this arc is just ‘well this surely won’t come back to bite us, right???’ it’s hilarious. In a sad way. Also, I forget, but wasn’t the person who attacked Kaiki a boy, implying that the sender of the curse was the guy who confessed to Nadeko and not her friend? I can’t remember, and I forget if it’s ever even discussed. I guess it doesn’t matter that much.

-And then literally thirty seconds after I resume watching the episode, Araragi literally spells out that the guy did indeed send at least one of the snakes. Welp. I sure feel awkward now, lol. I guess I was kinda right, though, even though I forgot that BOTH of the other people sent her curses.

-Yeah this entire scene is just so goddamn uncomfortable to watch. Urgh. Seeing her writhing in pain like that is just disturbing.

-It’s still kinda surprising to me how this series manages to be more graphically violent and bloody than a good amount of anime out there. You really wouldn’t expect it. I always feel so bad for Araragi in these moments where he just gets the ever-loving shit beaten out of him.

-Oh yeah I forgot that Araragi is totally aware that it’s a really bad idea to let the snake go but he has to do it or else it’ll kill him. Huh. I guess it’s yet another thing where Araragi isn’t necessarily stupid about everything going on and the consequences of certain things, but they still turn out in such a dramatically ironic and tragic way. Welp. Though I do also like how it furthers the recurring deal with how the answer is pretty much never for Araragi to just physically beat down or tear away an oddity and solve the problem that way.

-Also, mad props for my girl Kanbaru for stepping in to stop him from getting murdered. He seriously needs people like her around or else his hero complex would have gotten him killed a thousand times over.

-It really is pretty messed up that they’re forced to perpetuate this cycle of curses and pain in order to save themselves and Nadeko. But it’s perfectly fitting for the pretty damn tragic nature of this arc and how the consequences of it play out for all involved.

-So I guess we’re meant to think that the snake sent by the other girl got successfully exorcised, and it was just the snake from the guy that was still around?

-Oh boy, and here we get into Araragi’s own issues with self-loathing. It really is sad seeing him feel undeserving of Nadeko’s gratitude because of how he had basically tried to protect the dude that placed a curse on her, and had almost died in the process. And of course it gets into his issues with being not fully human and how that messes with his self-image/worth. But at the same time I also get why Nadeko is sincerely grateful to him for saving her.

-Of course, this also leads to a really awkward yet understandable scenario where the story just . . . ends here, with Araragi clearly too defeated and depressed to even think about whether or not this actually fixed Nadeko’s root problems. Again, he’s pretty much always entirely understandable and realistic with how he never quite figures out her issues in time or succeeds in getting her to completely open up to him. He doesn’t really have the time or energy to think that he might have stopped short of the truth, so to say. And Nadeko is obviously unwilling to talk about her deeper issues, and wants to just express her genuine gratitude to him for having ‘saved her’, even if it’s pretty much only a temporary measure, as we get oh so brutally shown down the track.

-So that’s it for this arc. Now onto Tsubasa Cat. No idea how long it’ll take me to get around to it at this rate. I’m probably going to split it into two posts, focusing on parts one and two, and then three, four, and five. I’m not about to try and attempt five entire episodes at once, with this sort of set-up.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Inaction and miscommunication are pretty horrible, toxic things, but they’re still fundamental parts of human nature that will probably never go away. People will always have things about themselves that they don’t want to share. They’ll always have a constricting pain that’s too much to put into words. A person’s body can become something that they hate, even if it’s only so they can have something to direct their inexpressible, vague frustration and agitation and pain at. Especially when communicating and connecting with others on a deep level can be so painful. When it can lead you to just hurting them and burdening them with your feelings. When it can lead to them not properly understanding you [even if it’s partially because you don’t let yourself be properly understood]. It can be so much easier to wrap yourself in comfortable, romanticized, unchanging silence, even though a life without words is the same as dying. I’ll get more into the topic of Nadeko’s self-image and the concept of ‘being a cute girl’ later on when it becomes a bit more relevant.

This arc is an interesting one, especially in hindsight. But even the first time around, it’s still surprisingly dark and disturbing and uncomfortable to watch in a way that you’d never quite expect from how incredibly fluffy and upbeat of an OP it has [at least on the surface]. I’ve been on the outskirts of the fandom for a few years now, and it’s pretty obvious that this is among people’s most commonly disliked arcs, along with ones like Neko:Kuro and Tsuki. Though I’ve also seen people have issues with some of the pacing/exposition elements of Oni and the second half of Owari S1. But back onto this arc, I totally get why a lot of people dislike this arc. Especially when viewed on it’s own. Considering that it’s mostly interesting to examine as the first section of the overall Nadeko story arc. And obviously it’s not exactly clear to the viewer that there even IS an actual wider story arc for her until we get to about a third of the way into SS. It also doesn’t help that the TV version of this arc was apparently godawful, but I can’t really talk about that since I’ve only ever watched the BD version.

Personally I find this arc to be a fascinating start for Nadeko’s character, even if I probably didn’t like it much the first time around. But in a sense, I like it in hindsight for the same reasons I disliked it at first. Like how it seems to subtly but noticeably go against the structure of the show by having Nadeko’s issues not get truly solved. Especially if we look at it in terms of Nadeko’s perspective of events and where she’s at by the time things end. I imagine I probably also felt that the whole idea of Nadeko killing snakes felt sorta pointless, and that nobody in the story really cared about it. But that’s what makes it so tragic, I guess. It’s another way in which it goes against the grain of how the past arcs worked in a way that feels really subtly dissonant. Even when the characters acknowledge that Nadeko was doing these fucked up, violent things BEFORE she even had a curse placed on her, they don’t really stop to think ‘what exactly would lead to someone doing that?’ or ‘will those sorts of feelings and thoughts truly go away if we just get rid of this curse?’. You can’t really blame Araragi or Kanbaru for not properly understanding, for not realizing how much is going on in Nadeko’s head, and how much is festering in there and waiting to burst out in the most unhealthy way possible. She only lets people see a certain, relatively superficial side of her. And so this arc ends with the true issue not even being solved, and with only a temporary bandage put over it. And even then, the curse plaguing Nadeko just ends up stuck on it’s sender, so even that’s barely solved or gotten rid of. And obviously we end specifically on the note of Araragi being depressed and unable to accept any praise for what genuine good he did, and Nadeko being genuinely grateful for what he did, while not even fully understanding for herself what’s in store.

So basically this arc doesn’t resolve anything, it simply introduces Nadeko and her problems, and sets the stage for how these issues become so much more serious and lethal later on. And in that sense it’s pretty fascinating, even if it’s divisive.

Nadeko is one of my favourite characters in the show and I’m really happy to have a chance to talk about her. Even if I worry that I might end up repeating myself a lot when the story gets back to her, since I covered so much here already.

[b00bstone]

All the even numbers!

thats a lot. and 72 was repeated twice but i had to renumber them since i copied and pasted adn forgot it was repeated. but anyway. 

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

mostly shy i think but i can be outgoing if im comfortable. 

4 Are you easy to get along with?

not really. i can be quite moody. and i unfortunately have a short temper (which im trying to work on) and im depressed adn suicidal so i think the answer is no. 

6 What kind of people are you attracted to?

smart funny ones. 

8Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

my friend the nerd because i was talking to them and my friend rabbit earlier. 

10Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probs my therapist since we talked just earlier today.

12What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

1.awkward by hailey knox

2 beautiful girl by sara barielles 

3. plot twist by sigrid

4 waving through a window from dear evan hansen 

and 5. dissapear also from dear evan hansen.

14Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yeah but my luck is shitty and miracles happen to other people. so basically yes but not for me lmao

16Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yeah. if she were down. but like shes really straight. so i doubt she would be.

18Do you still talk to your first crush?

occasionally. hes a dick now tho. fraternity guy. and voted for trump.

20Do you like your neighbors?

well the ones i know are pretty cool. 

22Where would you like to travel?

narnia. one of those planets they discovered that are super far away but similar to earth. but like on this planet? probs travel around europe. 

24Favorite part of your daily routine?

going to bed. 

26What do you do when you wake up?

lie there and try to go back to sleep. 

28Who are you most comfortable around?

probs my friend rabbit.

30Do you ever want to get married?

one day yeah. but only if i find the right person u know. 

32Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

oohhhh ummm hmmm. chris pratt. aubrey plaza and john boyega. i feel like aubrey would bring a sarcastic element which would help with the pressure and nervousness and john and chris. well u can just see in their eyes that theyre really gentle people that will treat u right. 

34do you play sports? What sports?

hahaha no. ive always wanted to dance and/or be on a swimteam. but my lungs hate me

36Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

i think ive only told like 1 or 2 people that ive liked that i liked them. and ive liked a lot of people so yes. i have hidden that i liked someone before. many many times.

38Describe your dream girl/guy?

theyre taller than me. i dunno why but ive always liked wavy/curly hair. not blonde. or brunette. so that leaves unnatural hair color or black or red. good bone structure. theyre really smart. like they know lots of stuff academically but theyre also just generally smart u know. and they know lots of lil random facts about random things. really nice. but not in like a sugar nice way but more like sun beams when it feels like theyre warming u from the inside kinda nice. kind eyes. color doesnt really matter since i keep changing my mind. strong. but not necessarily muscular. i want them to be able to pick me up and twirl me around but not like theyve got a sixpack or anything. sixpacks are kinda weird looking tbh. wed have to have most of the same values. not too talkative but not like ALWAYS quiet. theyd prefer staying in most weekend and watchng shows but dont mind the occassional night out. theyd like the beach. because what kind of crazy person doesnt like the beach (people that dont beach right thats who). theyd also like biking and hiking and swimming. very much an animal person. not lazy. good listener. intuitive. would understand that some days i just cant fucking stand physical touch. and others i crave it in a way ive never craved anything before. and other days its kinda meh whatever. people that take interest in what im interested in because im interested in it. and whose interests are cool. because i love to take interest in things my friends are interested in but sometimes its so boring. nothing particular comes to mind. but im sure its happened. someone who doesnt check up on me when im crying. because tbh i hate it when people do that. unless its through texting or a phone call. but like people in person asking “are u ok?” while im sobbing my eyes out? fuck no go away. someone who understands that im really fucking bad with words. and sometimes me trying to say something will take a while and it may not make sense. theyd be patient. they wouldnt mock me. or be manipulative. and i think this list is long enough.

40What do you want to do after high school?

travel the world and end up famous, but not like papparazzi following me famous. famous like i appear on snl every once in a while and drop bangers or rad filsm or whatever i do and thats all.  what will i probs end up doing? crying a lot and going to community college. and applying to as many colleges as i have the energy to. 

42If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

it might mean im busy. or just listening. or really pissed off. or upset. or just have nothing to say. 

44Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

space. 

46What are you paranoid about?

everything

48Have you ever been drunk?

not yet. but sometimes i want to be

50What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

blue i think?

52 One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

everything. but like one specific thing? id like to get rid of my depression, fears, and this brain fog that haunts me

.54 Favourite store?

trader joes or target

56Favourite color?

yellow

58 Last thing you ate?

well rn im eating plain potato chips and mayo (please dont judge me. i know its disgusting)

60Ever won a competition? For what?

i used to do mma i won like one or two of those. i also run a riding competition once. 

62Been arrested? For what?

not yet. but im sure one day i will be.

64tell us the story of your first kiss?

we were in her parents bathroom and were 7. thats all i remember. havent kissed anyone since. which isnt for lack of wanting to.

68Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

i dont really have any tumblr friends that arent my real friends yet? so like i cant answer that.

70 Twitter or Tumblr?

well i spend all my time here and not on twitter so lets go with tumblr. altho i do have a twitter im never on

72Names of your best friends?

adi, heather, rabecca, joaquin, celestine. 

74What colour are your towels?

blue, red and white. and theres some hawaiin print ones and a yellow one. 

76How many pillows do you sleep with?

3... 

78How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

like 40? dont judge. i kept asking as a kid and my parents kept giving them to me for christmas and my birthday. they should have stopped. 

80What colour is your underwear?

rn its grey. but its not the only color i have

82Favourite ice cream flavor?

fuck. ummmmm coffee?

84What colour pants?

rn theyre black. but on the front of the thighs they have zebra striping. 

86Favourite movie?

thats not an easy question to answer. im gonna say bringing up baby just because. 

90Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

both? i mean i prefer mean girls a lil more bu 21 jumpstreet isnt bad either

92 Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dory. we are both scatterbrained. 

94Last person you talked to today?

adi. but like in person? rabbit and the nerd. 

96Name a person you love?

celestine. (not romantically)

98In a fight with someone?

not as far as i know. but i always kinda feel like im in a fight with monkey. 

100How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

like 4? i know i know i dont have very many. 

102Favourite actress?

aubrey plaza. 

104Do you tan a lot?

nope. i try at least once every summer. but my skin either stays as pale as snow or i burn really bad then my skin shift to a slightly more offwhite shade of snow. 

106. How are you feeling?

blergh. potato chips and mayo are really gross. and im tired and sick of people telling me shit. 

108Do you regret anything from your past?

i regret everything ive ever done. 

110Do you miss anyone from your past?

well there is this one guy i used to talk to but i miss the attention and not him so that doesnt count. i kinda miss a friend of mine named shannon from elementary school sunday school

112Ever broken someone’s heart?

i dont think so. 

114What should you be doing?

school. but ive given up on that. so. 

.116 Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

oh yeah. ive liked 2 peoplethat much. altho i barely knew the first person and it was more me projecting my ideals of the prefect person onto them. 

118Who was the last person you cried in front of?

probs my therapist. 

120Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yeah. i was just in virginia last week. i live in california so id say thats definitely out of state. 

122Are you listening to music right now?

nope. 

124Do you like Chinese food?

americanized or traditional? americanized: yessss that shit i shte bomb. traditional? i dont know ive never had it. 

126Are you afraid of the dark?

yes. very. i need a light source or i start to panic. 

.128 Is cheating ever okay?

like on a partner or on a test or something? on a partner? no way. u should never do that. like thatll really fuck them up and make them mistrustful for the rest of their life. on a test? if its necessary sure go for it. i dont care. im not ur teacher. 

130Do you believe in love at first sight?

yeah. but its not something thatll ever happen to me lmao.

132. Are you currently bored?

im always bored. 

134 Would you change your name?

last name? yes 100% absolutely. first name? maybe. 

136Do you like subway?

like the sandwich shop? fuck no! the first time i ate it i threw up. the second time was ok. and thei third time i got serious stomach cramps afterwards. it was these awful sharp shooting pains all through my stomach. 

138Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probs my therapist. 

140Can you count to one million?

theoretically? yes. but will i? no 

142Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed! my closet freaks me out but the office across from my bedroom freaks me out more. and also like i dont want cats walking on my face. or to wake up at 7 am and find that my dog has taken up the very middle of the bed. 

144Curly or Straight hair?

rn? mostly straight. but when it gets longer it kinda curls a  lil. 

146Summer or Winter?

yes. i like both. dont make me choose. 

148 Favourite month?

july. thats when im born so it has to be my fav. 

150Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

152Was today a good day?

no. 

154What’s your favourite quote?

in the beginning the universe was created a lot of people regard t as a bad move. and i messed that quote up. but yeah. 

156Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

the terms braided and woven refer to the structure of the elastic. 

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Armed Girls Machiavellism 1 | Love Tyrant 1 | Warau Salesman New 1 | Alice to Zouroku 1 | Twin Angel Break 1 | Tsukigakirei 1 | Boku no Hero Academia 15 | Tsugumomo 1

(Armed Girls Machiavellism 1)

I was doubtful about this one because I could never get what was so offputting about it. Maybe I’ll figure it out while I watch.

…bear?

I bet he’s just a hand to hand brawler, that Nomura.

I appreciate the correct English, but “WARNING! Knock out 40+” sounds like a bunch of dot points…or a really bad brand of sunscreen, LOL.

Okay, I know anime has weird names, but “Kirukiru Amo” is a whole ‘nother level of weird. Then again, there’s weirder names out there (like Zolbe from Saiki Kusuo, but he seems to be a bit of a stereotype).

Hey wait, I thought I’d heard of Tenkai Goken (Great Five Swords) before, and it turns out I have! Touken Ranbu’s Juzumaru is one, so is Mikazuki and so is Oodenta (TR’s Oodenta is drawn by the same guy who did character designs for Kiznaiver, to boot)!

You gotta admit the colours in this really pop in a modern sort of way, unlike the somewhat plain Sagrada Reset.

See? Fudo really is a hand to hand brawler! (Then again, I knew that from the ANN stuff, LOL. Sorry I didn’t warn you about that.)

I half expect the pink stuff to be either transformation goo or makeup applying goo.

When I scoped out the show, the first impression shot that put me off was this one (the one just after the OP). Then again, I was intrigued by how empowering it was for the girls the first time I saw it, and I was put off by it the second time (because I scoped it out twice by looking at the manga website). I think it was Fudo’s face that did it for me, which is a bad sign going forward.

Isn’t it “co-educational”, rather than “co-existence”? Or is that just a very bad pun on the show’s part? Update: It is a bad pun, one on the word kyousei (correct/coexist, different kanji for each).

This is what definitely makes it offputting – the ecchi part. I really shouldn’t have wanted to watch this show, eh?

Nipple wrestling is a thing?! (wut.)

Take out the leg she’s standing on. Then again, if you went for that leg, she’d kick you with her other one…eh, I’m not good at strategy, y’know?

I know this is a battle anime, but since it’s a school anime too, shouldn’t Fudo get that thing disinfected?

Seriously, this show can never decide if it’s one or two parts of Rin’s mask they need on her face at one given time. On that note, I don’t think I’m coming back to this show. While it’s middle-of-the-road in some ways, it’s downright disturbing in others, including the bear.

(Love Tyrant 1)

I can’t remember why I picked some of these up…I was wandering around ANN a lot since I had a bunch of things due before the spring season started…

Well, that’s new. A show that made me cringe before anything really happened. 

Wow. Blatant parody much.

I’m with Seiji re: Guri. The “wait a minute” though? Do they have that on all TV stations in Japan? Plus, ANN says Guri’s a fujoshi…which is vaguely disturbing when she randomly picks the PM and House Speaker…at least pick someone who’ll cause less impact on the world at large and not play that for comedy!!!

Okay…ooooooookkkkkkkkkkayyyyyyyyyyyyyy…not only Gainaxing, but fanservice galore…I think I learnt my lesson from Armed Girls. I’m getting out of here.

(Warau Salesman New 1)

Why do I have this on my list? ANN says it does its job competently, and while I’m not completely a sucker for monkey’s paw stories, seeing another 60s manga revived as an anime…is one odd choice after another for the industry, so hey, why not. Plus it was made by one of the Fujios, which makes it somewhat culturally relevant.

The artstyle might seem outdated, but it’s living up to its premise – there seems to be an uneasy feeling laced throughout the show.

Comic Sans, get out.

Hyper realistic artwork in an anime like this is always a “should that even be there????” factor. It works in the show’s favour though.

I think the intro is fine once per episode or at the start of each episode if the episode is about 5 – 10 minutes long. For a full length, you want to go ???? (in a bad way) at it. It’s different animation, sure, but it’s the same intro text, and that’s bad.

LOL, she looks like Fujiko Mine now. It must be no coinicidence, since it comes from the Lupin III era.

This is strangely well produced for an anime of a time gone by, but it reminds me of a show that creeped me out, updated, mature and Japan-ified. (For reference, this is the show I got creeped out by – Death By Chocolate, which is the one where a girl eats chocolate with a bug egg in it and turns into a bug herself …ugh.) So I’m gonna drop it. (As another reference, I wrote a transformation story – do you remember Melting Chocolate, back in the day? – that may have taken its inspiration from Death by Chocolate.)

(Alice to Zouroku 1)

Apparently the sci-fi part of this is good, so I hope it can live up to expectations.

Alright, I admit I completely forgot this was a double-length first ep. SGRS managed to pull it off (and in a sense, so did Kado), but anything that squanders its chances with such an opportunity is a waste in most senses of the word.

Oh great, this looks like Denpa Kyoushi. Not a good sign.

…giant arms?

Okay, whose idea was it to turn all the cars into CG blocks? It works on just one car or a bunch of cars, but if you do it on the waffle thing (that’s on the side of the road) too, it starts to look clunky.

Faim Mart (sic), LOL. Obviously Family Mart.

Does this count as breaking and entering…?

The more I look at these CGI cars, the more I’m led to believe this is some Very Bad Anime, but the chase scene is actually thrilling to a small degree, so it’s obviously not.

I like this old man already. Meanwhile, I still don’t like Very Bad CGI.

Asahi and Yonaga (yo can mean “night” while asa can mean “day”), LOL.

Kensaku means “search” (as in, kensaku no engin is “search engine”).

Zoroku is the one element that makes this stand out. I mean, I laughed way too hard at him pushing the girl (Sana, right?) down.

It’s this season’s ACCA, LOL.

Okay, that’s a breach of privacy I don’t like. However, unless you’re a psychic, you can’t follow that example…

Xiaochi means “snack” in Chinese.

“I hate crooked stuff.” - So then why’d you work with the yakuza, Zoroku?

The flowers look real! Is that the true power of CG? (Actually, I take that back. Kado’s cube is better than that.)

Phlox. Doesn’t quite look like what its animated version looks like.

Alice to Zoroku has potential, but almost non-existent themes, no real sense of suspense in its action scene and horridly bad CGI. The only real good point is Zoroku, so I’m going to drop it.

Update: I watched this in bits and pieces because I had my mind on other things, but apparently there’s dust on Sanae’s stuff and Zoroku said Sanae was on a school trip? This is one of the times I’ll have to disagree with whoever said that, because I do not recall that one speck.

(Twin Angel Break 1)

I apologise in advance for if I call this Twin Angels Break instead of Twin Angel Break, because there seems to be no particular set name this show is called in that regard. Plus, you already know I’m a fan of magical girls – last time there was a show that could have gone into circulation (Nurse Witch Komugi-chan R), it didn’t make it but considering how brutal I am with my decisions for simulcast commentary these days, this one might just make it! Update: There were actually a few shows after Komugi that could’ve made it, with Flip Flappers notably making it but Magical Girl Raising Project not making it. It’s just that I consider Flip Flappers an Alice in Wonderland show more than a magical girl one.

This is…pretty obviously a commercial…maybe I should take my excitement back…

The only sister school scheme I know that requires grades requires average grades, so I guess I can’t really talk (since I’ve never been on exchange anyway…?).

LOL, selfies. Thought they’d gone out of style at least a half year ago. Even dabbing’s more recent than selfies…

I can feel the yuri…

I feel Yuki’s reveal as a crossdresser was unnecessary.

Those “women” are from a series I was going to watch (Twin Angel Twinkle Paradise). Dangit spoilers – stealth sequels hurt the self-esteem if you don’t remember they’re coming. (I was aware this was a stealth sequel from ANN, but then I forgot about it because I’ve been churning out about 4 premiere entries a day…)

4 cups?! I couldn’t eat that much if I tried! I can almost finish a whole bag of chips on my own though (not the oven-baked, potato-mush-in-middle sort, the other sort).

Shamisenist? Is that a thing? However, this guy’s so camp, it’s hilarious.

Zundar, is that you? LOL, jks.

Why does this hedgehog have non-kawaii eyes? (LOL.)

Gratuitous shaking of the butt means it’s one for the yuri crowd…no wonder it’s a pachinko ad…

Wait, so Miruku is a girl?!

“What is the Tamagawa River?” - I ask the same question Meguru did, John.

How could you not tell, Meguru?! It’s kinda obvious, right? I love magical girls, but this is the sin of all magical girl shows, built into the format.

Welp, it seems like this one gets an OK from me. It’s not particularly groundbreaking, but the flail and naginata bit seems promising. However, the thing about magical girl shows is that they often don’t fare well under the simulcast commentary format so it may not stay on forever.

(Tsukigakirei 1)

Apparently this is decent…but if it’s only decent, I may just shove it aside…Update: Promo material says male protag likes Osamu Dazai, and after Bungou, danggggggg I’m thirsty for more Dazai, LOL.

Already I cringe at the bad CGI…

There was live action in the OP of Kado but this one seems even more out of place with it.

There’s that one guy with pink hair who wouldn’t look out of place in a different anime, but here he stands out since I already know how uptight Japanese schools can be with their rules (it’s a common topic during Japanese study, y’know?).

It says dai dai dai boshuu (basically, they’re trying reallllllll hard to get people to join through words alone) but the bottom line on the bo seems to be a little too long. There’s also the fact someone accidentally wrote “dog” instead of one of the dais, since “dog” and “big” (in this case big = dai) are only one stroke’s difference, but that extra stroke was rubbed out. Either way, there is an error in the recruitment statement, so the typo reflects that…I listened to it again, and the “dog” thing was indeed the case.

Thank you Dazai for such sage advice in describing teenage romance. (semi-sarcastic)

Okay, who describes water as tasty? Unless you’ve flavoured your water, I just don’t see why. Water is flavourless, y’know?

I live close to a shopping centre, so I see people I know working there sometimes and it’s awkward in that sort of way - Tsukigakirei just captured that feeling perfectly.

I left the volume on after checking the dog joke and gosh, that piano music is gorgeous. I’d love to hear this show’s OST when I can.

People in Western countries use Facebook these days, but it’s the same gig, right?

Watching that hand in the corner working that phone…it’s an odd angle.

Taiko no Tetsujin is a play on Taiko no Tatsujin. That’s where the lil’ drum in Osu comes from, and heck, it’s real similar to Osu.

I never quite understood that thing where girls have to go to the bathroom together…maybe it’s because I was raised to be independent? Or because I’m antisocial? Or even both? I get it if they want to chat, but otherwise nope.

I consulted Aozora Bunko, and apparently that line exists in that story.

Yudemen.

The only real supergroups I know are Swedish House Mafia (kinda sorta, they were only real big stars after SHM took off) and Apparatjik (because Coldplay).

“You should read all kinds of books,” LOL.

There was one background with one door and light streaming in that was so lifelike…that took my breath away…

So, despite its awkwardness, this one seems intent on being brutally honest and that’s admirable. It’s a keeper.

(Boku no Hero Academia 15)

It’s interesting to note in the final shot of the OP, Shouto wears a navy suit that looks a lot like his sport uniform. However, Bakugou is clearly wearing his hero outfit and so is everyone else.

Interesting to note All Might’s blood stain stays on the side of his face when he speaks after it spurts out of his mouth. However, that attempt at humour didn’t quite work for me.

“…until the day of.” – The day of…what? The subs didn’t finish the sentence, even though it’s obvious from the context what it’s referring to.

Mineta’s “person” thing is something used to relieve stress – you write the kanji for “person” on your hand (which only needs two strokes) and then you eat it (figuratively speaking).

Ooh. Shouto’s made a real pretty ice sculpture.

Oh. Koseiteki literally, but “Quirky” in English translation. Nice one, subbers. (The title for the next ep is affected by this particular grammar snarl – which I don’t really know how to explain myself – affecting the word for Quirk (kosei). Literally speaking, the title for the next ep is something along the lines of “Everyone’s Good With [Their Own] Quirks, Aren’t They?”)

(Tsugumomo 1)

I wasn’t part of the anime scene in 2007, so I wonder how that’ll impact my view on the show.

Oh man, OP debut queue. It’s kinda hard to keep up with…

I get why people make that eye-shaped window thing, but I’m not a fan of it visuals-wise.

Oh gosh. Why can’t harem protags keep their hands to themselves? Plus, that hand movement Kazuya makes doesn’t make sense if you’re reaching out for the girl (Kiriha, that was her name, right?).

The more I sigh, the more I want to get out of here. I can’t handle 1) jokes about…a man’s area, 2) jokes about peeking at panties and 3) jokes about groping girls, among other things (which have all been ticked off!), so this show has one last chance to prove itself before it gets a bad score and a kick out.

Yeahhhhhhhh. I get why you’re doing that, but...out in the open, you look like a perv, Kazuya.

Don’t say you’re dead when you’re falling…*sigh*

Dang that battle made me change my opinion fast. Good fight scene. Now tone down the harem parts and we have ourselves a deal.

Dang that “Ya-kun, I’ve drawn a bath!” thing reminds me exactly of Masamune-kun’s Revenge. Or Fuuka. Whichever one it was last season with the dude with the multiple sisters who lounge around in their underwear…*rolls eyes*

When Kiriha showed up in bed I half expected either 1) “PERVERT!” *shaking screen* or 2) “YIKES! Why is she in my bed?!” *shaking screen*. If either of those happened, I never registered it (mercifully) because I had the volume off, but luckily the screen didn’t shake...Okay, he screamed. I’m getting outta this cliché fest, see ya.