#kinda meta but more ramblings

[foggyfanfic]

Thoughts on the Madrigal's Love Lives

I'm currently playing around with my head canons for Encanto's future and in trying to solidify what each Madrigal's partner would be like I came to a realization. The Madrigals each have such unique life experiences, that their partners would kind of need to be equally unique in order for them to relate to each other. Like every time I start shaping an OC for one of the Madrigals, I just can't see Mirabel connecting to your average joe, or Luisa ending up with somebody who isn't especially gentle. Even when I try making a bland background sort of character, I just find myself asking "Why the hell would Mirabel be interested in this guy?". It's like how Agustin and Felix are both such great characters, they kinda have to be in order for it to make sense that Julieta and Pepa would love them.

[yea-baiyi]

like. i used to think hualian must really be in sync because why are they able to accommodate each other and resolve conflict so well all of the time without talking about it that much? but this year i turned 25 and it gave me the realisation that they literally just know how to communicate like adults.

is this what they mean when they said you can feel when your brain is done developing. pre frontal cortex ready to go babey vroom vroom. more on this later

[beaulesbian]

oh no, this part is rlly even better in the manga, you guys were right.

their smiles! its so good.

it was interesting in the og anime they changed it to wolfwood offering the kids some of his last food, but in this version it’s money, and vash is even almost saying he shouldn’t share the last of it with them (it’s rlly interesting in comparison to his other ideologies, and where they begin and stop.

and in a way i love that even after 100+ years on that planet vash still can see something that catches him off guard and learns something new about how others think and what they do for others like that.)

and just a beautiful example of what wolfwood does for the kids.

i like that even in stampede they added that bit with zazie, its that important characteristic for wolfwood, especially if stampede is kind of something new, so stampede!wolfwood is not like his manga counterpart.. yet?, but even just this part is something so him!

and then ofc the smile!! so pretty

(im losing it over this way they drew wolfwood tho, his poor back lol)

and then vash invites him to eat, as his treat bc of the money ;-; ♥

.

+ bonus, that smile scene is rlly good in the og anime too, i feel

and in some way, there’s few that could be of the more sincere ones we got from stampede!vash directed at wolfwood too

(i wonder if in s2 wolfwood will be the one to call him out on fake smiles, just bc he sees these ones in s1.)

its always great how one of them focuses on the eyes - can be a good judge of character from seeing that and their intent/honesty there, and the other can tell forced and fake smiles from real ones and isn’t afraid to call him out on it. both cases within the first few hours of meeting each other.

[blighted-lights]

as much as i joke about it, i do think that it is strange that ravage was simply allowed to remain on the lost light with zero restrictions or repercussions. ravage is an active decepticon who was spying on the crew for an extended period of time before forcibly being revealed. he is an active decepticon with the order to kill megatron, and he attacked megatron during the split lost light arc.

and then right when he appeared, they find a ship full of dead autobots, brainstorm is revealed to be a decepticon, and the universe almost crashes down around itself. ravage was not responsible for any of these events, but the timing of it is awful. you're telling me that the crew just passively accepted the fact that there is a "bad batch" of energon at swerves that knocks out everyone the instant they return to the lost light and ravage joins the crew? remember that the crew doesn't know the truth about brainstorm's timecase shenanigans. they believe that it's a bad engex batch at swerves that poisoned them. it would of been incredibly easy for people to point fingers at ravage.

it's just. so many events happen back to back and there is no suspicion on him? like. he Isn't Responsible. he isn't. but i feel like there should of been at least some sort of pushback from the crew. if they're upset with having megatron on their crew, then surely they'd also he upset that ravage was not only allowed to remain, but invited.

like im just! it's weird. it's weird to me.

[supercalime]

I’ve been lurking in the 911 tags for only a week and I’m already exhausted of most b*ddie shippers holy shit

[lady-harrowhark]

Hello! I saw you mention that Pyrrha remembers pre-resurrection, and I totally missed that!! Do you have any theories as to why?

I have a few thoughts!

Just for context - because I didn't catch that on my first read either until I started going back through! - there are a few instances that seem to suggest Pyrrha remembers at least some of her life pre-Resurrection. Off the top of my head, I know there's one point where she refers to G1deon as G--, just like John does. Nona also says that Pyrrha calls her "Hairy Maclary", which is referring to a series of children's books by a New Zealand author. Here's a link to a picture and some info about Hairy Maclary... I can definitely understand why Pyrrha would call Nona that lol. This one's super interesting to me in that it's such a fantastic example of the way Tamsyn uses memes and references so skillfully! In the previous books, most of the references are fairly organic in that they're things that could conceivably be, you know, just things the characters say; the readers catch it (if they also know the reference! otherwise they're fairly unobtrusive) but the characters themselves aren't intentionally making a reference. This would be the things like "You can't just ask someone why they want to be a Lyctor" and "a hunger that only thumbs could satisfy," etc. The exception, though, is John. The "none Houses with left grief" particularly is SO fun from an exposition perspective (but if I start on that one I'll never stop), and then of course we have Commander Wake Me Up Inside. The implication here being that John remembers these specific things and is intentionally making those references within the context of the story. Pulling that same expository trick with Pyrrha sets them up as both remembering... at least to some degree. The hints that we get from Pyrrha are such that it's pretty unclear to what extent she remembers, leaving a lot of room for juicy speculation :)

I initially touched on it over on this post where I rambled about names, memory, and the Eightfold Word, but I'm copying over the Pyrrha-specific paragraph so that you don't have to dig for it:

When assisting with Harrow’s lobotomy, Ianthe tells her, “If you push your brain too hard, any surgery could simply heal over.” And in NtN, Pyrrha tells Palamedes, “You should be draining and replacing her fucking brain fluid... When Gideon and I designed that trial, I used to crack his skull and sieve it myself, just as a control variable... The only other people I put through that damn trial were Mercy and Cris, because only Cris didn’t mind being trepanned on the regular.” I don’t know exactly where the threshold is for pushing one’s brain too hard, but I suspect frequently draining and replacing one’s brain fluid is in that ballpark. Which is to say, it’s very possible that Mercy and Pyrrha (and potentially others) could have healed over from anything John had done to their brains.

Also, I don't know why this didn't occur to me as I was writing up that other post, but when Pyrrha's telling Palamedes about how dangerous their uhhhhh living arrangements are, and how they're risking brain damage... Pyrrha and G1deon were operating under somewhat similar circumstances for thousands of years. Cumulatively, it's possible that G1deon's brain was racking up damage that eventually eroded away whatever John had done. Another thought is that maybe the fact that G1deon died and Pyrrha didn't is at play here.

It could very well be less dramatic than that, though. We don't know much about how Lyctorhood impacts the brain, although to be completely fair, we also can't say for certain how a typical human brain would function after ten thousand years of runtime either. Our brains are constantly wiring new neural pathways and rewiring and revising old ones. After thousands of years, might we be reaching a Ship of Theseus situation with regard to the neural circuitry impacting pre-Res memories? Which is a fancy way of saying, "Maybe it wore off."

It could be all of the above, too. Assuming that Lyctor brains retain plasticity like we see in typical human brains (and I'm not letting myself think too hard on implications either way, because in sci-fi/fantasy make-believe land, neuroscience can be whatever you want it to be), we'd probably see that effect happening with the other Lyctors at roughly the same rate, but at least as far as we can tell (and that wording is intentional because I'm not taking anything off the table with this series), the others don't seem to remember. So that might be contributing, but not sufficient on its own. BUT perhaps ten thousand years of rewiring PLUS ten thousand years of cohabitation PLUS however long of being "trepanned on the regular" PLUS G1deon dying might override John's meddling.

We've still got so many open questions here regardless of what the specific mechanisms are. Like, I'd love to know when Pyrrha started to remember exactly. And did G1deon remember anything, then? It seems like he was Straight Up Not Having a Good Time so if he did remember, he might not have been relying on those memories much. Whatever's going on, I'm sure it's just as bonkers as the rest of the series!

[randomisedmongoose]

I've been thinking about parents and kids in Disco Elysium.

Fathers first: who actually has a present, positive father figure?

Kim never knew his, and says that he thinks his father wasn't that great of a person anyway. Harry doesn't remember his, and doing the fascist route and talking with Measurehead indicate that he wasn't around, if not actually abusive. Little Lily's dad killed himself, and wasn't that much of a help before that anyway. Judit's husband is, according to her, half a husband and probably not that good of a dad. Acele's dad was a drug lord and "a bad man". The paledriver says she "never had a father" - she might have forgotten him, though. But the father she remembers definitely isn't hers. Plaisance's husband, Annette’s dad, is distant and quite possibly emotionally abusive. Cuno's dad is... uh. Yeah. No. Abusive and pretty much gone. Easy Leo and his mum had to move from Iraesh because his da was too violent. Billie's husband Victor doesn't seem to be that good of a father to their kids, even if she clearly loves him and will miss him awfully. The racist lorry driver has three kids. Wonder how good of a dad he is (my money is on not that great). Tommy Le Homme has children that he misses dearly, but he's still distant from them.

Fathers are distant or gone, and that’s almost universally seen as a good thing that they are, because when they're actually there they're awful. The only positive, present father figure we get on screen is Trant. He's supportive, interested in Mikael's hobbies, protective and inclusive. We get one possibly positive father figure story from Measurehead, but the man himself is described as the perfect pinnacle of masculinity, which in this setting probably isn't that good really, when not seen through his son's eyes.

Also, Harry's own relation to fatherhood. We don't know what happened when Dora got an abortion, if Harry wanted her to or not (and it doesn't matter really, it was her choice to make) but it does mean he's not a father now. And judging from what the game tells us about fathers and everything we know about him pre-game, this is probably a good thing.

Mothers, then? Much more present, and a bit more complex.

Kim doesn't remember his mother, either. Harry has a fond memory of his, being loved and cared for, but she's spoken of in the past tense. Lilienne does her best and seems to genuinely care for her children, but she works all the time to put food on the table. Joyce is a mother, how good she is is up for interpretation. In any case she's not present, but considering her age her daughters are probably adults. Billie clearly loves her girls and knows and supports what they do, she's present in their lives even though they're nearing adulthood. Judit is an overworked cop with a partner that doesn’t seem to contribute much – not the best of circumstances for a kid, but we have no idea who helps her and her situation outside work.

The only mother we get an explicitly bad picture of is Plaisance’s, Annette’s grandmother, and by extension, Plaisance herself (hello, generational cycle of abuse, we'll get back to you). There are two bad mothers that are more metaphorical: the Mother of Silence, aka. the 2 mm hole in reality, that will eat you whole and never spit you out, and Dolores Dei, who is described as Humanity's Young Mother – nurturing and abusive at the same time, granting humanity the complete world while murdering the parts of it that rejected her gifts.

So mums run the entire gamut from godly to shitty with every flavour of overworked from all social classes in between. Despite the caring mother figures, we're left with a complete picture of children as largely abandoned by their parents emotionally or practically, if not outright abused.

Distant and abusive parents tie very nicely into the theories of the Pale that says that it consists of recycled memories, and part of what makes the world stagnant. Everybody's stuck in a perpetual cycle of generational abuse with no way of getting out. It takes drastic action to change it, because you're not just working against your own trauma and ingrained habits, but against the grain of history.

But, here's the kicker, we as a player can do that – to some extent. We can try to break Harry out of the cycle. We can make him kinder and calmer and less violent. But he had to literally erase every aspect of himself, and he didn't even manage to do it completely.

We can save some kids, but no matter how we play the game, we're not allowed to save some of them. The ravers, we can help them. Cindy, we can give her a little bit of artistic inspiration. Mikael is set already, he doesn't need us. We can do our best to make sure Little Lily and her brothers aren't evicted. We can even give Cuno something other (better is debatable) by recruiting him to the RCM.

Cunoesse though? She's lost to us in all futures. She's the only person in the game besides ourself that we can actually kill (not counting the mercs), and the only one beside ourself that actively wants us to do it. There's already been circumstances that led her to where she is, and we the player can't break her cycle. All we can do is hope that there's someone else who can. And boy does it seem bleak.

[kaxtwenty]

If I had a nickle for every sci-fi show I've watched this year that had...

-people's minds getting uploaded into technology -clone meets girl romance -the global network getting fucked -anti-capitalist themes focusing on tech corporations -lots of parental trauma -main character who just doesn't want to lose the people she loves -pacing issues in season 2 due to not getting renewed for a third season -crazy-ass reality bending shenanigans in the finale -came out in 2022-2023

...I would have two nickles. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

[novantinuum]

when the blind reactors you watch are starting to get into the Nitty Gritty of plot and you are going to have to be Very Careful in your meta ramble comments from now on so as to not accidentally sway their thinking or Give Anything Away

[thefawnfallacy]

I’m thinking about Hannibal and Mischa and how Hannibal is a monster but before he was a monster, he was still this growing thing trying very hard to fit into his human skin that simply ceased speaking because the brain was a monster but the heart was just a very small, very sad boy who loved his sister and then perhaps, hated his sister for making him feel the things she did when her death was used to nourish his body.

[neversetyoufree]

What are your thoughts about Vanijeanne and Dominoé? A lot of people think that they’re forced and have no chemistry whatsoever, especially with Vanijeanne. As a Vanoé shipper, I don’t really mind Vanijeanne but I see a lot of people who are annoyed at that ship. Could you give your perspective on this discourse?

Y'know anon, generally speaking my opinion on anything that can be labeled "shipping discourse" is "I am an adult woman with a job and thus physically incapable of caring about this." It takes a lot for me to find other people's shipping habits actively annoying, as I mostly just. ignore and/or block anything that I'm personally not into.

My personal thoughts on shipping are also colored by the fact that I have a somewhat uncommon relationship to the concept. My engagement with fandom has become extremely focused on analysis rather than transformation in the past few years. I am much more hung up on focusing on canon and canon only than I think a lot of other people are. My opinion on Vnc ships is mostly defined by "do I think they're attracted to each other in canon?" which I realize is not how everyone else picks their favorite romances.

I suppose my take on DomiNoé is that I don't ship them, but mostly that's just not really the context in which I think about their relationship. My read on canon is that Domi's crush on Noé is unrequited. I don't think he's shown evidence of being attracted to her, and I also think it would really undermine the amusement park arc's thematic beats if it turned out Domi's jealousy of Jeanne was "justified." I wrote way more about this previously.

I love Domi and Noé's relationship. I find it tragic and fascinating, and there's a lot of love between them. Given the physical/blood aspect of their whole thing, they're like, super close friends with benefits in which one of the friends is madly in love with the other. And also the one that's in love is deeply traumatized and mentally ill and obsessed with not being a burden to the other guy. And the one that's not in love is compulsively unable to recognize both the crush and the trauma. I could write about their weird-ass bullshit forever. How could you say they don't have chemistry?

However, I'm aware that "I think Noé's feelings are platonic and I love digging into their tragic dysfunction" isn't generally what a person means when they say they "ship" DomiNoé. So like, I dunno man. My relationship to their whole thing is kinda separate from the concept of shipping. I'm just here to watch the toxic drama.

And on the VaniJeanne end it's like. Their relationship is a whole complicated can of worms that I cannot begin to get into properly in this post. They're toxic they're in love they're doomed to fail they're each other's parallels. Whether I "ship" them depends heavily on your definition of ship.

Do I want the series to end declaring Vanitas and Jeanne as true love and Vnc's one true couple? No. Do I seek out fanworks about their relationship? Generally no. Do I think their canon relationship is healthy or all unambiguous romance? No. But do I find their whole thing really fascinating? Absolutely.

VaniJeanne is a relationship that starts with an extremely non-consensual kiss. That instance of assault is then followed by multiple scenes of Vanitas goading Jeanne into yet more physical intimacy/sexual contact that she very much claims on the surface not to want. And that, kids, is what we might call sexual harassment and coercion. That is not a foundation that you can build a healthy relationship on.

Furthermore, I will admit that I find it really unsettling when a certain small subset of VaniJeanne fans cannot admit that the non-consensual scenes between them are what they are. Back when the anime was first airing, I saw a lot of people new to the series start talking about how much they shipped them after episode three, when their only romantic interaction was the forced kiss. And I suppose that's my most discourse-y opinion about this whole thing, because I do not like people who cannot tell when something is meant to be a depiction of assault.

I realize that Mochijun abruptly changes tones to comedy during/right after the kiss, but still. I do think uncritically romanticizing that moment speaks to a pretty striking lack of media comprehension. The entire point of that scene (the hostage plan, the kiss, the dhams' commentary, etc) is the reveal that Vanitas is a freaky little asshole (affectionate).

However! Their relationship doesn't stay purely in this realm of exclusively non-consent. They evolve during the date and Gévaudan, and as of my writing this (hello post-57 hiatus), their whole thing has gotten more complex. I think Jeanne is getting a lot out of having Vanitas there for her at this point, and Vanitas is starting to treat her more like a person rather than a prop to bounce his trauma responses off of. I can't say much more about it because I frankly just haven't unpacked everything from more recent VaniJeanne yet. I haven't worked out what to make of it besides that it's compelling and bizarre.

Anyway, if you want my more specific thoughts on VaniJeanne stuff, you can read more about why I think Vanitas kissed her in the first place and why I think the violation of consent motif kinda works for Jeanne and her story. The lack of consent itself is absolutely serving a purpose in both their stories.

VaniJeanne are two deeply damaged people using one another to cope with their respective traumas and illnesses, and it's wild and fascinating and very often (though not always) unhealthy as hell. I don't think "forced" is at all the right word to describe their whole thing. But at the same time, I do find uncritical romanticization of their more questionable moments eyebrow-raising at best.

At the end of the day, like I said, I just don't know if "do you ship them?" is the best lens to ask this question through. I probably don't, by most people's definition, since I'm cheering for endgame Vanoé, but that doesn't mean their relationship isn't interesting as hell. And even I have to admit that I find some of VaniJeanne's later and fluffier moments genuinely sweet and fun.

VaniJeanne and DomiNoé aren't my preferred picks for endgame romances, and I don't personally tend to seek them out in fanworks. And at least in DomiNoé's case, I don't think canon supports a mutual romance. But that doesn't mean I find their relationships annoying or have anything inherently against people who have them as their preferred ships. I think talking about VaniJeanne responsibly takes a bit of care and nuance, given how much their relationship deals with the violation of autonomy and consent, but that doesn't mean I'm, like, against people shipping them.

They're the closest VnC currently has to an official couple, and I am, as established, obsessed with canon. By definition I cannot disregard them.

Also, like I said at the beginning, I tend to just block anyone that I see with a particularly bad take and then move on with my life. Aside from being a bit startled when I occasionally come across, like, some real weird pro-vanijeanne-assault youtube comments or whatever, I devote very little mental space to "shipping discourse"

[fekatsitra]

Based on real life conversation.

He knows plenty that I avoid watching live action with gore/horror theme, so while his intention was likely playful, as most friends do when they tease each other, I wasn't feeling particularly patient and happy at the time that I bluntly responded as such.

I am very, very transparent about my opinions of the genocide in Gaza, West Bank, Palestine, Lebanon, etc., and so, I do apologize if I make anyone uncomfortable. But I have no intention of stopping anytime soon. In fact, getting shadow banned, or having my post and story removed for spreading awareness, or getting interesting messages in my inbox, is just spurring me to share more content regarding the massacre and ethnic cleansing the occupiers are doing. I have no intention to keep silent, so kindly unfollow me if this isn't what you're signing yourself up for. Thank you 💖

This Monday has started on a quite rocky beginning for me 😂💦

But anyway! Free Palestine! 🇵🇸🍉❤️

[skitskatdacat63]

misc lore drop day 27/?

One of the best irl Vettonso moments by far to me is that press conference where they keep one-upping each other about how long it takes for them to find the limit of a track. “Two”, “I do it in about one and a half” “one!” It's a great example of how they can be lighthearted and silly but still can't resist the perpetual one-upmanship. As I said in yesterday’s post, they’re basically bound to compete against each other, but are forced into a situation where they need to cooaperate more often than not to make life not constantly unbearable for them, and everyone around them. So they need to find little ways where they can get that energy out. Which is. Incredibly annoying to everyone else around them. Imagine you can’t get through literally anything(i.e. Card game, hunting trip, dinner, etc.) without them verbally, and sometimes even physically, sparring. To them, it’s a sport. To most everyone else, it’s insufferable. To those who know them well, it’s a mating ritual. I think those who know them well begin to recognize the increasing fondness and familiarity they have for each other in arguments, and are gushing to each, “oh my god, look how enamored they are with each other!” They would never admit it’s flirting, not one bit. To Seb, it isn’t flirting because he already flirts in way more blatant ways, duh. Fernando is like, “Me!? Flirt with him!? That’s preposterous.” 

Anyways. Cards. I was joking yesterday about how most of my ideas form from little details that I like to expand on. I do think it’s really fun to see how much of a deal and how much significance I can put into something that seems generally meaningless. So: cards. In the olden days(and I think still now actually, but I'm too American for that and it doesn't matter here anyhow), there were actually different suits used in different parts of the world, and even within Europe itself. I like that even though vettonso both exist together in the hyper insulated world of royals, there are still minor differences that keep them apart, and that they can argue over. Everything with them is deceptively complicated and convoluted. Fernando’s not just gonna bend over and let them play a game with Seb’s cards, huh!? That’s practically submission! We will use Spanish cards, and that’s final! It’s hilarious because both of them would actually probably both use French suited cards, but they’re of course going to find any way to protest that they’re actually not similar in any way, and are actually two incredibly different people(lies!!!!) So they spend longer than an actual card game would take debating with each other over what card suit they should use, Spanish or German. It’s more likely that Fernando would already know Spanish cards well and did use them, but Seb? They don’t even probably use German cards in Vienna, but he bought a deck and he’s going to use it no matter what. 

I'm just imagining him playing practice games with Mark in preparation before Fernando comes to Vienna. And Mark’s like “c’mon you both know French cards, why must we do this?” Uh duh, it’s my turf, I’m not gonna play by his rules!” “But aren’t they shared rules?” They eventually end up having to flip a coin to decide what deck to play with, because they always run out of time to actually play games. Though knowing them, they’d probably argue over whether to flip a thaler(HRE) or a real(Spain.) You KNOW Mark’s banging his head against the wall somewhere when they come up with that argument. It’s so funny because it’s a game to them like any other, and whenever someone else tries to cool down the situation, they’re both like “BUTT OUT!!!” It's a genunine sport for them to come up with some kind of new argument, over literally anything. 

[sealrock]

me: hector is part of a small percentage of garleans that have psionic powers to compensate for their inability to manipulate aether, but it weakens greatly with age and causes immense mental strain

also me: *falls into a deep rabbit hole of paranormal pseudoscience and marvel/dc comic power scaling wackiness in an attempt to explain why and how that is in the ffxiv universe, but suspension of disbelief is thrown out the window*

[wackybuddiemewbs]

Random thoughts about 6x13 before we can move on with life again

OMG. That whole episode was chaotic perfection!!! I really love those "filler episodes" that are just wacky calls, mingled with some domestic firefam shenanigan, a lot of Buddie goodness, and some heartfelt drama. Like, girls (gn), we've been FED this whole episode.

Here a not at all ordered assembly of what was going through my mind, watching the episode:

Human Calculator Evan Buckley

I do hope Buck gets to keep his math skillz a while longer. And I'd really love to see it come in useful on a more serious call, too? But oh well, a fangirl can dream. Chimney asking if he did math "in his head???" was sending me. Just like Eddie's facial journeys during the math homework scene. Like, he's such a muppet.

On a more serious note, I wonder what they are going to do with that, moving forward. They laid on pretty heavy with the whole theme of figuring out the equation (hence answers in life), missing the assignment, and how Buck's skills may only be temporary. So it might be that he'll lose his way again (the same way his math skillz may leave again). We'll have to see. But it's... intriguing.

Babytrap and Sugarbaby

Like seriously. They stole this straight out of fanfic, I'm not even kidding. Eddie is babytrapping Buck so hard, only to start hustling together with him, and Buck happily handing over the money. Eddie Diaz, I'm in your walls.

Love to see Eddie being like: I will use your abilities, for evil. This guy (affectionate).

For real, though. What is the point of all that if not to give those two a nudge in the right direction (aka each other's muscly arms and taut tummies)? Eddie taking out Buck for poker dates... Them doing crime together... Them doing homework over at Buck's apartment... Buck being alone with Christopher to make cookies for school??? What is even happening??? And what's the point if not the BUDDIE AGENDA???

Also, Eddie Diaz, wear some sunglasses, your hearteyes are showing. Geez, wear some protection, you freak.

The Man with the Answers

Speaking of which, Buck's journey this season has now taken him to the stage where he feels like he is the one having the answers he's been seeking for so very long. He began this season, reading self-help books and asking e.g. Hen for the right answers. After his coma dream, Buck figured out some things about himself. He learned to appreciate his inherent value and could let go of the ghost of Daniel haunting him ever since that revelation.

Which is to say: They're moving the chess pieces in the right position, for the strategy to fully unfold. And I do believe it is the Buddie Agenda, I do.

I think a big hint was Eddie telling Christopher that the point of doing the homework himself instead of letting Buck run the calculations is that this is what's for Buck in store as well. Buck will only truly learn and get those life lessons he's so desperately seeking if he's the one to find the answers. He can't rely on self-help books or the opinions of others. He has to figure out that equation entirely on his own. He has to figure himself out.

Details that pointed me in a similar direction:

Buck telling Eddie why he didn't just get more gas: Because figuring it out was "more fun". AKA the getting to the destination is actually the goal. Buck is already where he needs/wants to be.

Eddie pointing out that those "superpowers" aren't permanent: Which may indicate that Buck will find himself struggling further down the road. Once he doesn't have the answers anymore (or rather, has them, but doesn't know how to act upon them).

Buck asking Eddie if he thinks Buck knew math all along (which is why it's actually no secret superpower via lightning ex machina): Because yes, Buck, you knew all along how to solve the equation, you're just running the wrong calculations right now. But I have faith in you that you will figure it out. Maybe just use a different measuring system!

Christopher pointing out that Buck may get more superpowers the stronger he gets: Which may be the big hint that Buck can have so much more than he currently has (more powers), the moment he understands that he already has these things (the family unit with Eddie and Christopher). He just has to claim his winnings.

I tend to believe the upshot is going to be that Buck has the answers, he just didn't put them together yet. It's like he has all the puzzle pieces, but he has to stick them together to see the grander picture (the secret ingredient). And my guess would be that it's going to be the resolution of the sperm donor storyline as well. He's looking right at the solution, and yes, it's Eddie and Christopher. And it has been all along.

The Sperm Donor Storyline(s)

Speaking of which YET AGAIN, I do find it interesting that we got this donor parallel (or antithesis) with Nathaniel and Denny vs. Buck and Kameron's and Connor's baby. Like, they now established that Nathaniel will get to play some role in Denny's life, because that is what Denny wants.

Which makes it hard for me to believe that the writers will choose the same route for Buck, also for the plain reason that they seemingly put Buck and Connor on different trajectories. Whereas Hen and Karen had an agreement with Nathaniel to keep his distance, Connor keeps sending sonograms and what not. He involves Buck actively in this whole "process" or "experience", which makes for an entirely different premise of how they are going to negotiate Buck's future role in Connor's life as well as that of Kameron and the child.

Which is something I honestly didn't see coming, I'll admit. I figured they'd take the route that him and Kameron would rather try to push Buck away (while he'd try to push into their lives). Because they chose someone as their donor who's not as much part of their social circle as Buck may have been, back when he and Connor were still roommates. The point being: I thought the storyline was going to be that Buck has to (painfully) accept Connor and Kameron having chosen him as the donor also because he'd be "easier to cut out of" their lives (and that of their child by extension). But that's not the route they are taking thus far.

But in the light of how they chose to have Nathaniel interact with Denny, I guess it makes sense. Because that'd be repetitive, in a way. Which isn't to say that Buck won't overstep and try to insert himself more into their lives than he should. I actually believe he will (it's been foreshadowed with the baby cozy and all). But Connor actively involving him thus far gives me a different vibe from what I'd previously estimated.

I'm interested to see whether they wish to explore how hard they make it on themselves, by Connor having Buck be that invested. Even though the reality is that Buck's always going to be donor not dad for that child. Like, I see great potential there. Just like I see potential character development for Connor, say, in a scenario where he feels like he's not the child's dad or so. And how he may come to struggle with that (or may even project that on Buck). There are many paths this could go.

But to turn this back to Buck here, the Nathaniel-Denny-storyline fits in so damn neatly. And I personally hope we get that kind of antithesis by the end of the season (because I'd find that very neat storytelling, is all). Namely, that Buck will do the opposite thing and extract himself from the child's life, having finally solved the equation that his family equals NOT Buck + baby but Buck + Eddie + Christopher. Because that is the stark contrast with Nathaniel. He doesn't have the family Buck already has. So that'd be the kind of bittersweet finale to that storyline I'd love to see, personally.

The Wilsons and Nathaniel

I still love to see the show standing true to exploring the different shapes family can take, now also by adding Nathaniel to the mix, portraying the tough reality that comes with this. It felt very real to me, how anxious Hen and Karen were that their son was slipping away from them.

I also liked to see Nathaniel owning up to his actions (albeit belatedly) and apologizing for his irresponsibility, without demonizing him. That guy feels very alone in this world, it'd seem, and to seek out that connection with Denny... It felt very human. So I loved to see them making it out to be just that, people making mistakes, but those mistakes being motivated by love.

And I LOVED to see Toni's growth as a character. Like, she's really trying to be there for her family, she serves as the messenger between Denny and his moms. And now she's seemingly also part of the rules Hen and Karen are setting for Nathaniel and Denny to safely interact. I love to see her safeguarding her family by opening up conversation and accepting people for who they are and how they feel. LOVE TO SEE IT. LOVE IT.

Also, loved how the Wilson family seemed to visually match, when they went to see Nathaniel at the hospital. Like, we saw a lot of yellows and blues, which signified to me that they were being there as a unit. Which tells me they're gonna be alright. Or as Toni said, they just need to figure out the right way.

Chimney's Journey to Healing

First of all, loved to see his interaction with Denny and with Hen. He's such a supportive uncle and friend (note: VERY different from what we see Buck and Christopher doing this whole episode, coz Buck ain't his uncle!!!). Like, I loved to see how he showed understanding for Denny and even let on about his own troubled feelings about his father. Even though that must still be heavy on his mind.

I do find it interesting that Chimney and the Buckley children seem to follow the same path: Which is not to forgive their parents, but to choose to let that anger/grief not control their lives anymore. Chimney has a family of his own and it's wonderful. So him coming to terms with his troubled relationship with his father in an effort to embrace the future he has as a family father is great for him. I do hope it pans out like that.

It also shows how the next generations (Chimney, Maddie, Buck) try not to repeat their parents' mistakes by holding on to e.g. grief but to choose to move on and embrace the future instead. Like, Chimney recognizes his father's humanity, well aware that this man's not changed one bit and did the terrible things he did and still does not see his son for what his son sees him (a fallible human being)... it highlights the long way Chimney's come and the great person he's become. And that's owed to the family he's found and his own strong character.

Like, I love to see that we get different versions of breaking vicious cycles.

With Eddie and Ramon, they seem to take a different route, in that Ramon seems to show genuine interest in reconnecting with Eddie, trying to find a better way for them to be father and son again.

With Toni and Hen, we see a similar thing. They reached a level of healing. Also, in that, Toni is stepping in and actively supporting her daughter and her family.

But then we still got those absentee parents who are seemingly never going to get past themselves. Which I feel is... very real in that way? You will have those people in your life. Some of them may even want to change, but they can't, past a certain point. And buying your son a new couch won't mend that relationship because you still haven't taken full accountability for what you've done in the past. Showing up to one family dinner (and being an absolute pest about it) is not going to mend things either. That's as much the reality of troubled family relationships as are the examples where there is a moving forward, together.

3 Minutes and 17 Seconds

That one's still sending me across the universe, right into a black hole. Like, they are nudging Eddie and Buck in a certain direction, but neither one is seemingly ready yet to solve the equation. Eddie knows down to the second how long he lived in a world where Buck was dead. And he feels the need to point that out, unprompted.

I honestly thought they'd have Captain Mehta point back to the shooting regarding the matter. But again, I guess timing is of the essence (maybe also signified by Buck's and Eddie's fancy watches). But after they were told that Eddie was welcome back without Buck as his human calculator, maybe we will see a second poker scene to get us there?

Like, there is something very purposeful about bringing the actor for Captain Mehta back after he left acting, really. You wouldn't do that if it didn't serve a purpose, right? And up until now, I haven't seen it. So maybe Eddie will play poker without Buck. And then Captain Mehta will say something about the shooting that either we as the audience don't know yet (e.g. Eddie lied to Buck about how little he remembers and he's only ever shared that in the poker family) or Eddie doesn't know (what Buck was like after he got shot, something that Captain Mehta witnessed first-hand).

Performance Anxiety Underway

Something that struck me was that Buck was, on the one hand, rather confident in his abilities that he started to hustle with Eddie. On the other hand, he seems very unsure about them (and what they may mean, or if they're meant to stay, or if they've been there all along). It gave me similar vibes to Buck being unsure if something's wrong with him, when the doctors did more and more tests, without telling him what may be wrong with him.

We got a hint in the previous episode that Buck still has a way ahead of him in dealing with his trauma. Right now, he is more caught up in those "new sensations", and doesn't know how to move on with his life. At the poker table, I also had a feeling that there were those moments when he wasn't just confused (as he often tends to be) or putting on a poker face. I felt like he feels out of place in a way, like he doesn't yet know what to do with his abilities/with his life, after this event. He is still doing lists to be sure he's back to reality (back to life), after all.

Deep-down, Buck is immensely insecure. And the moment he felt like something he used to be confident about (his abilities to sexually please his partners) may actually hit closer to home than just... you know, ego. They played it for laughs, having him call the women he's slept with. But they might actually turn this around to be something more serious (i.e. a symptom for something else).

Like, Buck is hellbent on pleasing other people, so potentially not being satisfactory in bed may just be the kind of performance anxiety we may see in the next episode. It ties in with Buck's previous fear that his donation isn't good enough, so he spends weeks being horny and hangry thanks to green smoothies.

If I remember correctly from some of the interviews, Buck has no intention to dip his toes back into the dating pool and will basically have the shutters on for now... Which makes it unlikely for me that he's gonna start sleeping around, to be sure that he's good at sex after all.

But if it wasn't just for laughs, I could see the theme of "having the answers already" coming back into play here. Though I'm not sure how. There's just something to that theme of Buck needing his body to be functional, and how it may give him serious anxiety, feeling like his body isn't doing what it's supposed to do (or rather, what he always believed his body was supposed to do).

On a side note: Buck telling Christopher that he likes to measure everything to feel like an actual chef hit a similar mark to me. Like, Buck is overthinking things, which may make him miss the assignment for now. Buck seemingly feels like he's only pretending at things right now (which may feed into his insecurities, really), or like he has to seize control (measuring things, calculating everything, doing those lists, and texting Bobby). Like. There is something there. I just can't wrap my wee head around it just yet.

So yeah, I can very well see Buck continuing to have performance anxiety. And I'd love to see more of that, in all of its awkward facets.

Healing Starts in the Kitchen

Kitchens continue to be the places to be for meaningful conversations for characters, and it seems to be back in full swing for Buck and Eddie. Last episode, Buck found himself finally relax when he was at Eddie's (and on Eddie's couch, hopefully soon just on Eddie). The conversation with Eddie in the kitchen definitely helped him in some ways, but the road ahead of him is still long.

It's an interesting choice that we continue to see Eddie, Buck, and Christopher being this domestic in the kitchen/at dinner tables. Like, we started out this season with Bobby's infamous lasagna and Boggle, and now we're here for math and popcorn and more math and cookies.

Others have already pointed this out, but Buck learns to express his care by cooking for his loved ones (contrast that with takeaway for his parents and waffles for Taylor at a point in their relationship where they were basically done for already). So having him repeatedly cook for/with Christopher and Eddie is just SUCH a big thing, I believe. We're shown that Buck's not just the uncle to come pick Christopher up when Eddie's car's broke. He is alone with Christopher, baking cookies for school with him. He is not just a donor, not just legal guardian (AKA the backup plan) here. And I do believe that part of Buck's journey is going to be to figure out that part of the equation.

We've already established in previous seasons that Buck's apartment is a safe space for Christopher, and it continues to be a second home for him. In the same way Eddie's house proves to be the same for Buck (as we were reminded last episode). Which has me think that part of the equation for Buck is to fully embrace that, or rather, see it for what it is, namely his path to happiness that's been there all along.

Honorable Mentions

Here's a list of things that was sending me:

Everyone of the firefam is a himbo, except for Athena and Karen. Which drives the point home that they're the only ones with the brain cell. Like honestly, Bobby and Chimney instantly jumping on detective work like that??? Buck calling his past sexual encounters??? They're all himbos, your honor!

Denny, take your damn shoes off when you are in bed, you little punk!!! Your moms raised you better than that!!!

Hen at the hospital being like "My husband? The heterosexual audacity!" was everything.

Buck continuing to creep people out with random knowledge now fueled by the power of math. We stan a himbo icon.

Eddie interrupting Buck thinking about women he's had sex with, like "I did not take you out to sexy poker night for you to use your brain for that right now, you traitor!"

I guess RIP to a favorite headcanon of mine that Buck's gonna blurt out at some point that he's screwed with plenty of guys in the past. Because he specifically started to think about the women he's slept with, though the guy was talking about partners (gn), I believe. If the writers wanted to keep that door open, I guess he would've said people or partners or whatever, too. But I shall keep it for fanfiction purposes forever and always. Because that scenario is always sending me places.

Chimney asking if Buck did math, in his head??? No, Chimney, he did it in yours, now get the hell out of here.

Buck calling the women he's had sex with... oh, those phone bills. Also: We stan a himbo icon yet again.

Buck and Eddie, doing crime, dressed in blue and red, looking damn fine. I'm here for every damn second of it.

Christopher's sass being back in full swing. We stan the one true icon.

So yeah, that's it. For now anyway. I guess I'll ramble a lot more. But I rest easy in the knowledge that Buck and Eddie marrying in Vegas just became a possibility.

Cheers!

[gameofthronedd]

It's entirely depressing(ly ironic) that some people who consider themselves feminist and anti-patriarchy, who are Team Black/Rhaenyra and slam those who criticise Rhaenyra as "misogynistic", also engage in and perpetuate misogynistic rhetoric (seemingly without self-awareness?)

Mentions below of strong language, SA & victim-blaming.

Namely Alicent-antis seem to have a serious issue with this (Sansa-antis, too).

For example, calling Alicent "Alicunt". Most women know that that word can be incredibly offensive, rude, shocking and, of course, dehumanising. Purposefully using it in a pejorative way to refer to a female character, particularly as a woman or someone who considers themselves anti-patriarchy, is insanity to me. If someone used a similar pejorative for Rhaenyra, would you jump to put down such a nickname? I'd assume (and hope) so.

A similar issue I've seen is making fun of, minimising/belittling aspects of trauma in Alicent's story as well as perpetuating a culture of victim-blaming. This ruffles my feathers quite a bit, actually. And unfortunately I've seen it quite frequently, too. People saying that Alicent should fight back and that she's less deserving of respect/sympathy because she "lets it happen". Things like that. Heck, I've even seen some people say that she didn't "fight back" against Viserys and therefore she wasn't maritally r*ped.

Responses like that are quite common, if not integral, in victim-blaming rhetoric and feeds into this narrative of SA victims having to be the "perfect" or "ideal" victim to be able to prosecute, get justice or even gain any sympathy or empathy. Victims of SA have their lives put under a microscope and if you aren't "ideal", then you get criticised. It's horrible and wrong, and shit needs to change, which is why it's particularly striking to see those fight so aggressively for Rhaenyra be so vicious towards Alicent, and engage in narratives and rhetoric that are highly misogynistic.

Obviously, there are lots of aspects to this. Everyone comes from different environments and has different personal morals. Basically, all I want to say is, simply labelling oneself as anti-patriarchy or feminist doesn't instantly mean you're devoid of the impacts of patriarchy. And, alongside that, supporting Rhaenyra as a character does not instantly mean that you're in the right/morally superior. We're all susceptible to bias and internalisation. Part of being human is acknowledging our flaws and addressing subconscious and internal biases and preconceptions, and trying to better ourselves (imo).

I don't want to sound like I'm standing on my soapbox or whatever. The alternative was saying that everyone who perpetuates victim-blaming and misogynistic rhetoric, even as a woman, is a piece of shit and I'm not quite that mean :)