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purplecatghostposts · 4 years

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SB’s AUs and Writing Masterlist

Hello! If you’re reading this then welcome to my own personal guide on the stuff I create!

Since I do a lot of talking and writing, I decided it might be easier to create a lil masterpost on it all so it’s a lot easier to find if you look at something I make and go, “Huh, that’s cool, wonder if they got more.”

Fandoms Included (In Order) Are:

- MH (Marble Hornets)

- TOH (The Owl House)

- HLVRAI (Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware)

So, without further ado, here we go!

Last Updated: April 16th, 2023

Marble Hornets

No Masky AU

Summary: Brian knows that technically, this started with Tim. That for whatever reason, that eldritch monstrosity that has taken a liking to Alex once relentlessly tormented Tim to the point of stripping him from a childhood. To the point of him having a sickness that will never leave. He knows Tim passed it onto him, and that he passed it onto everyone else. He knows.

But Tim has suffered enough. He will get a chance at a normal life if Brian has anything to say about it, and believe him, he does. So if Jay, Alex, ToTheArk, or anyone else thinks they’re gonna drag him into this again, they’ve got another thing coming. Namely, him. Because he won’t allow it.

Ramblings:

- If You Even LOOK At Tim

- He Don’t Bite :)

Take The Help Action (D&D AU)

Summary: Tim needs help getting across the country. Brian is looking to pay off a few debts. They might just be able to help each other, and if they pick up a few extra people along the way? So be it.

The trip would be a lot smoother if they didn’t all have baggage, but baggage is a lot easier to carry when you have other people helping you.

Ramblings And Silly Posting:

- Rogue Brian And The Knife Cat Meme

- Tim Is A Very Polite Warlock

Marble Hornets Concepts And Ramblings:

- Eldritch Tim Concept

- MH Time Travel AU Where (Part One) Everyone But Alex Remembers (Part Two)

- MH Comic Operator Appreciation

- Top Ten Marble Hornets Fucked Up Moments: Number One

- Polyhornets And Streaming Services

- I’m Going To Write Marble Hornets Fics With Good Endings AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME

- After Everything, Tim Still Tried For Peace

Marble Hornets Silly Postings

- Brian’s Interference

- YOU’RE DATING THE HOODED GUY??

- Brian Is Attached, Unfortunately

- Introducing Your Boyfriends Like Dogs

- The Bram Dynamic (With Hoody!Brian)

- Why Does The Hooded Guy Call You Babygirl

- Join The Polycule

- Jam Writers

- Brian is So Gay

- The Brian Is Touch Starved Agenda

- Season 3 Hoody With A Masky Plush, What Will He Do?

Writings:

(AO3 Stuff Can Be Found Here!)

On Tumblr:

Save Him (+Part Two)- Canon Divergence from Entry 80 where Brian saves Jay from getting shot at the cost of getting shot himself. Jay finds out not only that the Hooded Guy is willing to sacrifice himself to save him, but that he’s Brian of all people. It’s a lot to take in.

It’s Not A Bad Thing To Be Taken Care Of- Tim gets sick. Jay wants to help. A few things are revealed in the process.

Brian And A Series Of Hugs- Brian’s love language is physical touch, and what goes around, comes around.

Get It Over With- Brian is haunted by the Operator and realizes what needs to be done. A Roleswap AU In which Brian takes Alex’s place, and nothing gets better.

It’s Dangerous To Do It Alone- Seth lives. Seth not only joins Jay’s investigation but tells Tim what’s going on too, causing him to join the fray as well. A lot changes because of it.

— — —

TOH

Ramblings:

- Darius’ Concern For Biting

- My Love For The Rebels

- Hunter’s Predecessor Lives AU Concept

- Gustholomule Is Very Funny To Me

- Darius And Hunter Are Messes, Your Honor

Writings:

(All on AO3)

Little Bird Who Fell From The Nest: (Current One Shot) Within the woods, Darius can finally hear a loud rustling getting closer and rapidly approaching their location. Eberwolf shifts, sharp teeth outgrowing their mouth and sticking out in different directions. Darius morphs one of his arms into a sickle, keeping it at the ready in case of a fight.

The moment it finally bursts from the trees and into their clearing, they’re all ready to strike. The unknown variable however, trips over a stray root just before and ends up stumbling and falling to the ground. Darius catches sight of an all too familiar yellow outfit with blonde hair and immediately reverses his transformation. His hand shoots out— warning Raine and Eberwolf not to strike— and they both freeze in place.

The Golden Guard lays before them, shaking violently and struggling to so much as sit up with how badly his arms tremble. However upon realizing he’s not alone, he nearly throws himself on his back and scrambles, head wildly snapping to each and every one of them. His eyes are filled with absolute terror and it pains Darius to see it.

(Or Post-Hollow Mind, Darius, Raine, and Eberwolf find Hunter in the woods. They deal with the aftermath of Hunter finding out the truth about his so-called uncle.)

- Status: While the One Shot itself is completed, it will be turned into a series that will be continued where it left off. Said sequel is in progress.

- Author’s Notes: Hunter needed a hug Post-Hollow Mind so I gave him three new parents. Rebel Shenanigans included because these three are such an interesting mix. I loved writing this and plan on continuing it!

— — —

HLVRAI

AUs

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon AU (PMD AU)

Summary: Gordon wakes up as a Cubone and in a world of Pokémon with little idea of who he is other than two facts: One, his name is Gordon, and Two, he used to be human. Luckily he’s got Tommy by his side, Benrey aiding from the shadows, and experienced explorer team Bubby and Coomer to help him adjust, and hopefully, find answers.

Everyone’s got secrets, Gordon. You’re not the only human turned into a Pokémon, and that information is very valuable and dangerous if it gets into the wrong hands.

Ramblings:

- Initial Information

- Bubby Time

- Enter: Darnold, Forzen, Joshua, & G-Man

- L O R E

- Darnold Changes

- Finished Informational

- Miscellaneous Facts Feat. Relationships

- Miscellaneous Facts Feat. Reasonings

- Bubby’s Secret

On To Do List:

- Winds of Change (Drabble; Bubby and Coomer deal with the aftermath when the bounty for a human turned Pokémon is set)

- Like Driftwood (Drabble; Tommy finds Gordon & The Beginning)

- Fun House Mirror (Drabble; Benrey is acting weird and Gordon doesn’t know why)

- Totodile Or Drilbur (Drabble; Joshua is saved but Benrey is not. Weird... Why does this Luxray seem to hate Benrey so much if he’s never even met him before?)

- The Shift (Drabble; Gordon’s supposed to be sticking to the shadows but... He can’t just leave this blue Ditto here- they look hurt!)

Jumbled AU

Summary: When Forzen is caught up in trying to escape Black Mesa after a Resonance Cascade, he gets caught up in alien family relations, experiments both by Black Mesa and the military, mildly evil clones, and someone communicating through the VOX as they make their escape.

(Or in other words, this is another Roleswap AU but where the roles are mostly jumbled around to create a story that goes a bit differently.)

Ramblings:

- (OLD&OUTDATED) Character Summaries

- Fleshed Out Character Summaries

- Forzen Named His Kid After A Bayblade And That’s My Proudest Part About This AU.jpg

- Short Summerization Of This AU

On To Do List:

- Bubby, Coomer, And A Prototype (Drabble; Self explanatory title)

- Gordon Loses An Arm And Makes A Friend (Drabble; Self explanatory title)

- Lucky Charm (Drabble; Forzen has a lucky beyblade that as long as he keeps on him, everything will turn out okay in the end)

- Adventures In VOX (Drabble; Hey... When did the VOX start talking so weird?)

- The Effects Of Evil Powerade (Drabble; One of Darnold’s clones gets ahold on the Evil Powerade but calling him an “Evil” Clone makes it sound a lot worse than it is)

- Stranded (Drabble; Sometimes Bubby gets stranded due to his powers and sometimes he makes a new ally because of it)

- Some Sunny Day (Drabble; Tommy will see his dad again. No matter what)

- Project Goodman (Drabble; G-Man Vs. His time in Black Mesa)

- There’s No Longer An ‘i’ In Guardian (Drabble; Forzen protects his team until he can’t)

Roleswap AU

Summary: Benrey’s just trying to make it out alive. Gordon was just trying to do his job and follow the guy who didn’t have his ID and passport. Things get... Complicated along the way.

(Or a Classic Roleswap AU)

Ramblings:

- Initial Ideas

- Betrayal Details

- More Details About The Characters

- Tommy And Darnold Swap Time

- Darnold Going Ham

Drabbles:

- Beginnings And Ends (Drabble)

On To Do List:

- The Trolly Problem (Drabble; Coomer and Gordon have a talk about betrayal)

- >Try Again? (Drabble; Benrey post-betrayal)

- Bitter Is The Heart (Drabble; Growing up in Black Mesa sucks and Coomer knows that’s better than anyone)

- The General Man (Drabble; The most dangerous man in the army is the one who doesn’t pick up a gun)

- Shattered Glass (Drabble; Dr. Bubby isn’t terribly close to Benrey but... The guy’s on the verge of a mental breakdown, what else is he supposed to do?)

- Following Orders (Drabble; His name is Forzen and there’s something very wrong about him)

Fucked Up SAO AU

(Man this needs a better title but at the same time I’m slightly attached-)

Summary: Five streamers all beta test the new game with updated AIs, only to find that they’ve been sucked into the game. With the beating the game being the only way out, they need to work together. Problem is that this is the first time they’ve ever met each other so there’s a bit of... Trial and Error.

Not to mention the worst part is if they die in the game, they die in real life.

Ramblings:

- Here’s The Post Where I Started Thinking About It (Thanks Simpson Stream)

- And Then I Made It: Initial Ideas

- Andddd I Kept Going Feat. Game Mechanics

- Team Bonding Because This Is Absolutely A Found Family Trope AU

- G-Man And Tommy Time

- Final Boss Talk

- Final Boss Talk 2: But Now There’s Hopes And Dreams Playing In The Background

On To Do List:

- Wave Of Realization (Drabble; The Team all individuality realizes that they’re in a game)

- All Together Now (Drabble; Team meets up)

- Mortality And Other Fun Getting To Know You Topics (Drabble; Team realizes they have limited lives and will die for real if they lose them all)

- Grief That Goes Both Ways (Drabble; Bubby is the first to lose a life)

Promare AU

Summary: Firefighter Coomer and the rest of the team on Search and Rescue are used to putting out fires from the Burnish, people who are born with the ability to create fire. However, what should’ve been the usual job turns into a fight to save the world when Coomer faces off the leaders of the Mad Burnish, Bubby, Benrey, and Forzen.

(Based on the movie Promare! There are spoilers to the movie in said AU so heads up)

Ramblings:

- First Thoughts

- Thoughts Expanded

- Bubby Dear, Could You Say That Again?

On To Do List:

- First Impressions (Drabble; Search and Rescue Vs. The Mad Burnish, who will win?)

- The Fire That Protects (Drabble; One tiny spark from Bubby’s flame is all it takes)

- What Goes Around (Drabble; Bubby has saved Benrey and Forzen a dozen times. Now it’s time they return the favor)

To Love A Security Guard AU

Summary: Things go a bit differently when you realize early on that you may or may not be in love with a certain security guard.

(Or when a small Drabble turns into something else entirely)

Drabbles:

- Part One: Court Jester

- Part Two: Lights Out

On To Do List:

- Part Three: Home Sweet Home...

Abandoned But Not Alone (ABNA) AU

Summary: Bubby’s first contact with space finally comes: Black Mesa is sending him on a solo mission to collect some samples from Xen. It’s a dream come true until Bubby gets left behind and knows Black Mesa has no intention to rescue him. He’ll have to survive on his own.

Meanwhile, Dr. Harold Coomer learns of this and takes fate into his own hands.

Ramblings:

- Main Idea

- Bubby And A Certain Not-Human Fella

- What The Fuck? Touch Starved Lil Alien

- Local Summer Intern Learns A Lot More Than He’s Supposed To

Mini AU: Teen Joshua

- Initial Idea

- Some Other Thoughts

- Not Mine: That Tall Child Looks Terrible

- Also Not Mine: You Can’t Keep Burning The Candle From Both Ends

(Both shorts are by E-Bubby and they’re so good, I recommend giving them a read!)

Miscellaneous AUs

AUs that have been talked about but don’t quite have enough to have their own section. Yet.

A Spectrum of Benreys in different AUs

HLVRAI Haunted & Claws And Fangs

(HLVRAI Haunted is also mentioned here)

Xen Bound & CYWO AUs

Stage Crew AU

Double Stasis AU

Writings

On Tumblr:

Safe And Sound: For better or for worse, Tommy can see the future. Usually it’s for worse. (Frenmy; Hurt/Comfort)

Weakness? Pet Names: Gordon insistently tries to go to work, despite being sick. Luckily, Benrey has ways of stopping him. (Frenrey; Sick Fic; Hurt/Comfort)

Stay: Benrey has a fever and Gordon has no idea if he’s helping him correctly. (Frenrey; Sick Fic; Hurt/Comfort)

Don’t Lie To Me: Benrey takes the fall for Gordon and Gordon knows he’s not doing as well as he claims. (Frenrey; Hurt/Comfort)

The Looming Threat Of A Dinner Party: Gordon has a breakdown. Bubby is there to help. (Platonic; Hurt/Comfort)

There’s Nothing Out There But You’re Not Alone: Bubby isn’t going to fall apart on Coomer. (Boomer; Hurt/Comfort)

What Scares You The Most: Benrey has some things to work through and Gordon is there to help. (Frenrey; Hurt/Comfort)

Bubby vs Ice Cream Flavors: Making choices isn’t so easy for everyone, especially when you’re used to having repercussions. (Platonic; Hurt/Comfort)

Bubby v Bubby v Tommy: Bubby builds a time machine. Tommy is very concerned.

On AO3:

Existential Existence: (Series) Gordon thought his biggest problem would be the game ending. Now his biggest problem is that it didn’t and he has to figure out how to live normally.

- Status: Ongoing, Part Five Pending . . .

- Next Part: fix it all up before it grows too late

- Author’s Notes: Post-Game AU in which the gang is still healing in a seemingly perfect world. First Fic I ever created for HLVRAI and my metaphorical baby.

- Extra: Through Bubby’s Eyes

sweet poison that i keep drinking: (Two Shot) Ever since he was a kid, they've always been around. Benrey no longer questions the skeleton or their Sweet Voice's influence in his life. Until Gordon Freeman of all people makes one comment about it and suddenly everything feels wrong.

- Status: Ongoing, Part Two Pending . . .

- Next Part: The Mongoose

- Author’s Notes: A ‘What If The Skeletons Were Controlling Benrey’ Fic except I put way too much lore into the skeletons and oh boy it got dark. Happy ending is promised, I’m a sucker for those. Warnings for lots of manipulation involved.

in this part of the woods: (Series) Gordon is Lost. All the trees look exactly the same and he's scared to stop driving. Gordon is Found, but not by anyone he knows. The being who calls himself Benrey definitely isn't human but Benrey tells him if he wants to get out of this alive, Gordon will need to trust him. And frankly, Gordon doesn't see any other options.

- Status: Ongoing, Part Four Pending . . .

- Next Part: let’s take this outside

- Author’s Notes: A weird fantasy-horror-esk Fic series I’m just recently starting up in which I’m literally making up a lot of it as I go and it’s one of the most self indulgent things I’ve ever written.

- Extra: Facts About Benrey

- Extra: Tommy’s Internal Screaming

- Extra: On The Name ‘False Security’

back in the day, you were all i had: (Series) Dr. Harold Coomer is upbeat, weirdly nice, and Bubby's newest lab partner. Bubby expects this to end messily as it always does and he'll be gone soon enough. What he doesn't know is that Dr. Coomer is stubborn as hell and is here to stay. And maybe Bubby's life will improve because of it. Only time will tell.

- Status: Ongoing But On Pause

- Next Part: Heart Palpitations

- Author’s Notes: A Boomer Backstory Fic Series in which I explore and build up how Bubby and Coomer met, gained each other’s trust, and fell in love. Warning for the fact that Black Mesa itself is manipulative and just not a good place to grow up in.

- Extra: Was Originally Going To Be A SongFic For This Song

a different story, a different flame: (Series) Bubby Mesa has always loved video games. Getting early access to the new game 'Half Life' which is said to have impressive AIs is the best birthday wish he could've ever dreamed of. No two playthroughs have been the same so far. However, Bubby finds that his actions take the game in a wildly different direction than he or anyone else could've imagined, and that this will not be an experience he will ever forget. (Or in which Bubby is the Player, not Gordon)

- Status: Ongoing, Part Four Pending

- Next Part: Warm Heart, Cold Hands

- Author’s Notes: A ‘What If Bubby Was The Player’ Fic in which Bubby has no idea he’s playing with AIs who are real and he may or may not screw with the narrative heavily and piss off a certain Government Man.

frozen and watching as the world passes by: (One shot) Your name is Forzen and you have decided to enlist in the military. Your name is Forzen and Benrey is your new best friend. Your name is Forzen and you're having trouble remembering why you're supposed to attack a guy in an HEV suit. Your... Your name is... You don't remember. And you don't know why you just kidnapped a dog.

- Status: Completed

- Author’s Notes: A Forzen Character Study told in second person in which being an NPC is not fun and screws with you.

you’ll come home eventually, i know you will: (One Shot) If there's one constant in Gordon's life, it's that Benrey always finds his way back to him. It doesn't matter if he's supposed to be dead- he's come back from that before. Gordon knows Benrey. This won't stop him. He's coming back. And if he doesn't...

- Status: Completed

- Author’s Notes: The second most indulgent Fic I’ve written for HLVRAI in which Gordon painfully misses Benrey but takes a while to realize that.

because you’re like a fever dream but twice as sweet: (One Shot) Xen has always adapted to kill the unkillable. Thicker skin to combat bullets, heat seeking attacks from those who try to hide, and ranging in all sorts of shapes and sizes for different mobility and strength. The entity who calls himself Benrey has made himself a threat to the beings of Xen by aiding the human known as Gordon Freeman in killing many of their kind. So, the beings of Xen must do what they do best and find a way to kill him as well.(Or in other words, Benrey takes a hit and can’t get back up from it. At least, not on his own)

- Status: Completed

- Author’s Notes: The longest one shot I’ve written for HLVRAI (14k), in which Benrey and Gordon have issues communicating post betrayal and it takes Benrey almost dying for them to talk. This could be considered a dark sick fic and it’s one of my proudest fics.

Other Cool Ramblings:

Two Sides Of The Same Coin: Coomer and Benrey thoughts.

A Proposal: Frenrey Proposal Thoughts

A Strange Rhythm: Bubby and Benrey thoughts.

Other Ways To Show You Care: Frenrey other ways to say I Love You.

Fight And Make Up: Frenrey fight and make up thoughts.

On Competition: Frenrey competition thoughts.

Post-Escape Bubby: Bubby deserves to be happy post game thoughts.

Tommy Thoughts: T...Tommy Thoughts...

G-Man thoughts: Funky Alien Dad Moments

On Tommy/Darnold/Forzen: My #3

Andddd that should be all of it! If you made it this far, congrats! That’s a lotta stuff to scroll through, even if you don’t click the links.

I’ll try to keep this as updated as possible! If I missed anything, feel free to tell me and I’ll get it fixed up in no time!

This took a veryyy long time to make oh boy-

#SB Speaks #SB Rambles #Masterpost #SB’s Masterpost #long post #very long post

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 4 years

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OKAY THERE I FUCKING FINISHED SOMETHING, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN GODDAMN MONTHS, IT’S SHORT AND POINTLESS AND IT DOESN’T HAVE A TITLE YET BUT IT EXISTS AND THAT’S WHAT MATTERS

basically this happened because @veliseraptor was doing the three-sentence-fic meme and I sent a prompt about Loki showing up at the final battle in Endgame and then decided I also wanted to write it because just maybe I could make it short if I kind of pretended it was a prompt fill for me also? not that I even tried to stick to three sentences. clearly. also her prompt fill did a lot more with a lot fewer words but more cakes etc., anyway it’s after midnight because I’m an idiot so I’m gonna throw this at the internet, go the fuck to bed, and make it look better tomorrow.

When the portals spiral to life out of nothing on the battlefield, Thor realizes he has utterly forgotten what hope feels like. The lurching sensation in his chest, the sudden heart-deep knowledge that just maybe things will come out right in the end, the first glimpse of light when the dark seemed to stretch forever—

Actually, all of it is new, because if he’s learned one thing over the past few years (and then drowned himself in alcohol to forget it), it’s that he never knew true despair until he watched his little brother die, failed to avenge him, and lost half the tiny remnant of Asgard in the process. The other times he’s known loss—at least then something else was left, some comfort or purpose, not the howling nothingness that dogs his every step in New Asgard. But he’d forgotten, too, that there could be reason to hope.

He feels it now, his chest expanding with the first full breath since his ribs cracked under Thanos’s fists, and still more portals open to reveal armies of the lost, alive as if they’d never crumbled to dust—

And there is a tiny, foolish part of him that hopes just for an instant that at least one of his dead will come back to him somehow, that this miracle is for him too, even as he knows there are no more miracles for the dying house of Odin. It shouldn’t hurt, knowing it again, and it does anyway, in that tiny foolish part of himself that cherished its own hopes for less than a second. It hurts, like a weight on his chest, like Stormbreaker carving him open, and he crushes the rest of it before it can cripple him.

He is glad for everyone who has now regained those they love. He is. He…will be. As always, the only thing left for Thor is the battle, and it’s enough because it has to be. He is not going to hurt himself further by searching the crowds for a dead man.

So he almost misses it at first when a small new portal spins into existence just a few paces to his left, a portal with green light sparking at its edges, backed by the vastness of space and the rough surface of some barren moon or asteroid. A single figure steps through it—staggers, really, there’s almost no grace to his movements at all, and his face is too shadowed to make out, but—

Thor wants to make himself look away, knowing it can’t be real. The longer he looks, the more he will allow himself again to hope, and this time it will destroy him when reality asserts itself.

The portal winks out. Loki raises his head, ice crystals glittering in his hair and across his battered leathers, the deep blue of his Jotun heritage fading to a nearly gray pallor. He is cradling his left wrist, there is dried blood on his face, his neck is so dark with bruising the skin is almost black, and he is breathing and alive.

He should go, Thor thinks distantly. Throw himself at Thanos and die fighting so he can wake in Valhalla and embrace his true brother there and never have to deal with the fact that this apparition cannot be real. It won’t matter anyway if he dies, not really, not anymore, and if Loki’s here to guide him home, that’s…well, that’s really not so bad after all.

Loki takes an unsteady step toward him, then another, his eyes fixed on Thor. “I know, I know,” he says, his voice so rough Thor reflexively winces to hear it, “I’m late again. You don’t have to tell me.” He pauses. “You…got a new eye.”

Thor swallows hard and decides, abruptly, to Hel with it. This isn’t real but he can pretend. “Gift from a friend,” he says, and then, voice cracking, “You are late.”

“In my defense,” Loki says, “I came as soon as I could. I was a bit busy being dead. You know how it is.”

“I really don’t,” Thor says. He is aching to grab his brother and never let go, but then the illusion will break, and he just wants to pretend as long as he can. “You look terrible.”

Loki actually grins at that—an exhausted and bloody smile but still a defiant one, and it hurts Thor to look at. “I’d say it takes one to know one, but all things considered I think we’re both doing pretty well.” He glances around the battlefield, expression tightening. “I suspect you have rather more to contribute than I do, at this point, but let it never be said that I didn’t try.”

That sounds horribly like a farewell and Thor almost starts begging, no, I’m not ready, I can’t do this if you go, just stay a little bit longer so I can die well, but instead Loki flicks his good hand out to summon a knife. It’s slower to appear than normal, popping into existence with a flare of sickly green light, and he stumbles, swaying forward. Thor lurches forward to catch him, acting on sheer instinct, his mind a crucial half-second too slow to stop him from breaking the illusion for good—

—and then his hands are gripping Loki’s elbows, his solid and pointy and very real elbows, and Thor’s whole brain seems to short-circuit. Loki’s head drops forward a little with a huff of something like laughter, and he lets Thor take his weight for a moment, breathing hard. “As I said. I don’t suppose you happen to have a healing stone?”

Thor shakes his head, wordless, and feels Loki shrug. He feels it. He feels the muscles shift under his hands, the chill of not-quite-Jotun flesh under charred leather. Loki is close enough now that Thor can smell him, blood and sweat and ice, the hot stink of fuel and scorched metal, alive. Alive.

“No,” Loki says a little breathlessly, “I imagine you haven’t been able to make very many without me there to supervise, hm? No matter. I’ll manage.”

“We didn’t expect a battle today,” Thor says hoarsely. “Brother…” Words fail him again. He can’t think of anything to ask that will tell him this is real, not just his shattered mind scrambling for a little comfort before the end.

Loki raises his head, his eyes meeting Thor’s—red-streaked, an awful mix of natural Jotun coloring and the bloody results of burst blood vessels, but present and living, nothing of the dead blank emptiness that haunts Thor’s nightmares. “I’m here,” he says, and it’s exactly what Thor wants to hear, which is why he can’t bring himself to trust it.

“Right,” Loki says after a moment, rolling his shoulders back with a wince he almost manages to hide and starting to pull away. “Shall we?”

Thor tightens his grip convulsively on a surge of fresh terror, knowing Loki will disappear again the moment he lets go, and then abruptly realizes Dr. Strange is looking in his direction.

More specifically, he is looking at Loki.

Loki glances aside, following Thor’s gaze, and his expression sours at the speed of light. He smooths it out a little when Dr. Strange nods to him, and Loki dips his chin in return, but he still looks so disgruntled that Thor has to bite his tongue to prevent a burst of (probably hysterical) laughter. It’s the grimace that does it, the inimitably Loki way his whole face screws up in displeasure, bringing to mind nothing more than a cat who’s just been forced through an unwanted bath, and it’s all real. It has to be real.

Thor lets go then, hefting Stormbreaker. Loki does not disappear. His hand curls more securely around his knife and he steps into position next to his brother, natural as breathing. As they face Thanos side by side, Thor feels something inside him begin to mend, something he thought irreparably broken. Whatever happens next, for this one moment the universe has been set right again.

#loki #marvel cinematic universe #avengers: endgame #endgame fix-it #thor #fanfic #occasionally I write things #sometimes on very rare occasions I even FINISH things

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #347

“lay your head down, child / i won’t let the bogeyman come / count the bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums”

Have you ever watched a whole hour long infomercial? Ha, Girt and I have one day when he was hanging out. It was about a vacuum, to be precise. Do you tend to cave into peer pressure? No. Do you think it's attractive for a man to wear eyeliner? Yeah. Are you listening to music currently? Yeah, it's this version of Manson's "Lunchbox" that I hadn't heard before. Have you ever done something you once thought you'd be too chicken to do? Yeah, like going on this one ride at a fair. Y'know, the kind that slowly brings you way up and abruptly drops you. What's your relationship to the child you’re around most? They're my nieces and nephew. Have you ever had an illegal substance in your blood stream? No. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to your hair? More than once, back when I had long hair, it would get so knotted from neglect that I'd brush out just... giant clumps of hair. The joys of depression, right? It's honestly part of the reason I cut it all off, and it's something I seriously recommend for people who struggle with brushing their hair. What do you think about cats? I adore them. Who do you want with you when you're afraid? Absolutely my mom. Who might as well just be your sibling? Ha, Sara. We're just so remarkably similar, and even when we first met in person, we clicked like it was nothing. Would you ever consider working for the government? No; I'm not working with corrupt, lying motherfuckers. What is the weirdest thing you have ever witnessed a sibling doing? Well, your sister "sleepwalking" or whatever she was actually doing and grabbing a knife she'd hidden under her mattress to creep towards her then-boyfriend was beyond just "weird." Your first best friend's name? Brianna. How do you act when you're uncomfortable? "Anxious, impatient, and fidgety." <<<< Same. It's very obvious I want to get out of the situation. What bug would you like to be extinct? Do wasps do like... anything for the environment? I don't want to give a definite answer here that ends up being ignorant, because I appreciate bugs that are even just a regular food source for more vital creatures like spiders, but I don't know a damn thing wasps do that are beneficial. They just kill bees, from what I know. Do you know anyone other than a cop who has ever owned a cop car? No. Have you ever felt fire? I mean, I've never directly touched fire, no. What would you do if your first love asked you back out? I REALLY DON'T WANT TO PICTURE THIS. Do you know anyone that is a lesbian? Yeah. What are your thoughts on roleplaying games? I think they're fun. Do you want to have a bachelor/bachelorette party before you get married? So, true story, I don't even know what those entail exactly. But considering how few friends I have, I probably wouldn't. Ever been texted by mistake and played along & acted like you knew them? No. Would you ever get a name tattooed on you? Noooo sir. Do your parents dress like they’re years younger? Does it gross you out? They don't, but it wouldn't gross me out...? They can dress however they damn well please. Obsession from childhood? Dinosaurs and Spyro probably top the list. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Just swim, really. I hate warm weather. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? If there's snow, take pictures. If it's just cold, then I like to just stay inside and bundle up in bed. Five songs to describe you? I don't know five, but I know a few I resonate with: "Get Up" by Mother Mother, "That's What You Get" by Paramore, uhhh then idk. Best way for someone to bond with you? Hm. Probably just like... talk about life, like our stories and things we've been through, both good and bad. Just being mutually vulnerable makes me feel connected to people. I like bonding via music, too, and I find it pretty exciting to share songs and, once again, go deeper and share what they mean to you, etc. etc. In summary, I just like getting to know a person at their core. What is the first meme you remember seeing? Hell if I know. Lemonade or tea? Lemonade, by a landslide. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite type of cheese? American. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? I relate very deeply to Henry Townshend from SH4 with saying "what the hell?" about literally everything. If you were an anime character, what genre of anime would it be? I'unno. Character you relate to? Since watching a playthrough of the game the first time, I've related to Max Caulfield from Life is Strange very deeply. An awkward photographer that cares a lot for people. Favorite website from your childhood? Webkinz. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? Grape, usually. Or orange. Favorite potato food? French fries. PC or console gaming? I prefer console games. Writing or drawing? Shit man, why you gotta make me choose? I feel much more satisfaction after drawing something I'm proud of, but I write way more. Who would you put before everyone else? My mom. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Literally none. Do you get motion sickness? No. Have you ever been on a cruise? No. Have you ever bailed a friend out of jail? No. Have you ever won anything from a radio station? No. What do you do when you go to the beach? Swim for a while and then sit under the tent or whatever we brought and think about how ready I am to go home and get out of the heat. How many pillows are on your bed? Two. Do you like pickles? Yeah. Do you like camping? I've never been *legit* camping; Dad would just sometimes set up the tent in the yard and he and my sisters and I would sleep out there. I LOVED that as a kiddo. I think I'd enjoy like, one night of actual camping, so long as I have my camera and phone. My technology dependence would probably get me by Day #2, lol. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? No, and I don't plan to. Wrecking in one of those can fuck you the hell up. Even with a helmet, just honestly, it seems... pretty stupid to put yourself at THAT incredible a risk. Have you ever had plastic surgery? No. Were you ever sent to the principal’s office as a kid? I don't think so... but maybe once? I have this super faint memory of being in the office, but maybe I was bringing them something from my teacher? That sounds about right. Have you ever used a slingshot? No. Have you ever driven an electric car? No. Do you live in an area that is prone to tornadoes? They happen here, but I wouldn't say we're "prone" to them. We get tornado watches/warnings a lot when we have summer storms, but it's seldom they actually occur, and it's even rarer for them to be noteworthy at all. What breed was the last dog you saw? One of our neighbors has a German Shepherd she walks a lot. How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are): I wanna say around or over 20 years? I don't know. What 5 words best describe your mother’s personality? Loving, welcoming, resilient, selfless, and strong. Do you know any transgender people? Yes. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? No, but that'd be cool. In the morning, do you eat breakfast first or brush your teeth first? I eat first. What’s something you’ve been struggling with lately? A number of things, but my weight's the real problem right now. All the weight loss progress I once made has almost been entirely erased... and I'm extremely, extremely upset about it. I'd rather move onto the next question than elaborate on this bullshit. Do you carry condoms? No, I don't have a reason to. Would you date someone with braces? Yes. Do you think people look up to you? God no. How often do you have trouble sleeping at night? Pretty much every night. Any vacations planned? No. We've never been able to afford vacations. Who were you last in a car with? My mom. Did you ever watch Sailor Moon? Yeah. My older sister was ooooobsessed. She even had the little toy wand and would dance to the theme when it came on. What do you want for Christmas? Well, it's rather early to think of that, but if I had to pull out an answer right now, it'd probably be either Venus' new terrarium (if I don't already have it) or supplies for it. If by some miracle I've been able to get everything I wanted for it by then, I would seriously love a hognose snake. If you had to get glasses would you wear contacts? I've worn glasses for many years, and I can live with it. I'd prefer contacts so I can get an undereye dermal piercing, but they're just too tedious for me. Best party you’ve ever been to? Maybe a big party my friend Summer had for one of her birthdays many years ago. We played lots of games like darts and stuff while listening to good music and just hanging out. Have you ever been surfing? I have not. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? Pink. Chocolate or strawberry milk? Chocolate, for sure. I hate strawberry milk. Are you subscribed to a lot of channels on YouTube? Oh yes. Do you wish you had a better phone? Yeah. I mean, my phone is fine, but I particularly dislike the poor camera quality. Do you find texting fun? I'm officially becoming an old woman in that I don't really like texting anymore, but only because I make way too many typos. I would much rather type via an actual keyboard. Do you have any friends who have had twins? No. Do you have any past mistakes you’ve made that haunt you every day? Yes. Seriously. Are you bothered by something someone said to you years ago? Things especially Bryar and Colleen have said to me are probably going to die with me.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''pet'' by a perfect circle

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lettalady · 3 years

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Incorrect Quotes

So I haven’t been writing. In an effort to get back into Do The Damn Word Thing Letta I’ve been on the hunt for a tag game or meme that will get things flowing again. Considering the fact that I didn’t finish the last month prompt challenge (whoops) I figured doing another might be a Bad Idea.

Anyway. This one caught my attention: use this incorrect quotes generator

WISH

Loki: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died- Our agent: Twelve, actually. Loki: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that? Our agent: Yours! Loki: That's right: no one's.

Our agent: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

A Turn of the Knife

GG: God, give me patience. Hannah: I think you mean 'give me strength'. GG: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Lakeside

Ryan: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives Tom: I wake up at 4:30 AM Ryan: Ryan: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

bodyguard!Tom

Tom: Must be hard not being able to laugh Sol: I do have a sense of humor you know Tom: I’ve never heard you laugh before Sol: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

Unsettled

Maximilian James: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

Haunting the Hampton House

Ellie: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

Mac: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

YOJA

Richard, John, and Bruce are sitting on a bench Our girl: Why do you guys look so sad? Richard: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Our girl sits down* John: The bench is freshly painted.

#wherein the writer has given up fighting the writers block #could be a writing tag game could be an ask game #the quotes just made me giggle ok

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taggedmemes · 5 years

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SENTENCE MEME ⟶ BUZZFEED UNSOLVED: SUPERNATURAL / 2.01 –– 2.02 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

“I hate demons.”

“And the worst part is, I don’t even have my holy water.”

“I’m going into a demon hole with no holy water.”

“It’s the most haunted nightclub in America.”

“Management is not responsible and cannot be held liable for any actions of any ghosts or spirits on these premises.”

“Obviously enough weird stuff has happened here to necessitate a sign like that.”

“There is a trap door in here that leads directly to the portal of hell downstairs.”

“You’re not gonna believe me if I tell you, so why even tell you?”

“Thought you were big tough guys with your guns and your threatening and your cursing.”

“Why don’t you punch me in the face, maybe smack me around a little.”

“I just got startled by a disco ball.”

“She’s a ghost! She doesn’t even know she’s dead!”

“She doesn’t seem like a very intelligent ghost.”

“Do you always have to insult the ghost of the place we’re at?”

“You keep tricking me into talking to them, you dickhead.”

“Yeah, I find that a strange place to get exorcised.”

“I hate the way this room feels.”

“It looks like a room where you’d lose your mind.”

“Open this door. It says, ‘danger, keep out’.”

“If it says ‘danger, keep out’ why would we go in there?”

“It’s a ghost hole.”

“What were they trying to do? How do you go that wrong?”

“Did he ever cut anybody’s head off?”

“I’m 99.9% sure he’s never cut anyone’s head off.”

“Is he thinking about the time he accidentally cut someone’s head off?”

“That’s the weirdest thing to do before you die. To be like, ‘I’m gonna haunt ya! I’m gonna do creaks!’”

“The history of death and violence isn’t the only thing that brings this basement to life.”

“Demon, turn that on if you’re planning on doing something to us tonight.”

“Turn it on if you want to hurt us!”

“Why do you keep asking it questions like that?”

“What is wrong with you, do you want to die?”

“Plunge us into darkness, demons!”

“If I pull on this rope, you pull me the fuck out of there.”

“Was it scary?”

“Yeah, it was fucking scary.”

“I’m going into the demon hole.”

“Hey there demons, it’s me, ya boy.”

“Frankly, I don’t believe in you.”

“I’ll be quiet now, and if you want to pick me up or scratch me or slam me into the ceiling now would be the best opportunity for that.”

“Do try to kill me.”

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

“Goodbye, demon.”

“This is the only time I feel comfortable, when I walk out the door.”

“You escaped the clutches of yet another demon.”

“By the way, you are a psychopath for saying all the things you were saying to it in there.”

“Demons aren’t real, so that’s why I tend to be so flip with them.”

“That demon is never gonna find you.”

“We’re gonna catch ourselves a Squatch.”

“This is the one time we get to sleep somewhere nice.”

“All we do is sleep in haunted places and dirty old hospitals.”

“How often do you say you got to be a piece of history?”

“We’re about to etch ourselves into the stone of Bigfoot lore.”

“It was supposed to be fun!”

“This might be the only time I actually believe in what you’re talking about.”

“Do you imagine Bigfoot as someone who walks around in disguises?”

“If you stab Sting with a knife, Sting will bleed.”

“You’re gonna eat that burger, I’m gonna stay in the haunted house all night.”

“My organs are beginning to shut down, I’ll be dead in five minutes.”

“I wonder if that guy will be proud of us.”

“I think I might need to go to the hospital.”

“I’m not a Bigfoot. I’m a human being.”

“Don’t make Bigfoot believe in your ghostly energies.”

“It’s not gonna scare it away, it’s gonna make me look more festive!”

“Have fun getting shot!”

“You honestly think we’re going to encounter a Squatch, the Squatch is going to attack you, and your life is going to be saved because you’re wearing a helmet?”

“I wasn’t fat-shaming Bigfoot!”

“If it’s any consolation, you look like an idiot.”

“This guy is inhaling too many cat shit fumes.”

“That’s the part where we die.”

“This means we live to see tomorrow.”

“You look like a man I would never talk to under any circumstance.”

#rp meme #roleplay meme #sentence meme #sentence starters #starter sentences #KIND / SENTENCE.#KIND / IN CHARACTER.#BASED ON / TV SHOW.

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current-mcr-news · 5 years

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Casual Interactions #9: Full Transcription

John: Welcome back to the Casual Interactions podcast. We are still answering your questions.

Frank: Questions #3. This is the third episode of questions?

J: This is the third episode of questions.

Shaun: That's all we're gonna do now.

F: That's a lot, yeah. I think that's good for a while, right? Maybe we'll do every seven episodes, we'll do three episodes of questions. There's a lot of questions though! I'm shocked.

J: Well, you know what? There was about 200 questions, give or take. And I left it open for a week. I told them when there was no more questions, people still sent questions anyway.

F: Aw, late comers.

J: But it's okay because, you know, people like to break rules and I'm not mad at it.

F: Okay.

J: Sam wants to know, from Kansas, if we've ever had any supernatural encounters.

F: Wow, this is the second-

S: Supernatural.

J: People wanna know about ghosts.

F: Alright. I'm curious, man. Do we have a large ghost crowd, huh? Interesting.

S: Lot of ghosts out there, Frank.

F: Very interesting.

S: There's a lot of ghosts in here.

F: What if these questions are being sent...

S: By?

F: Canadians.

S: Oh man.

F: Wait, what was the question?

J: Have we ever had any supernatural encounters?

F: Oh. Alright, I- yeah. I think I recently talked about this on another podcast. I cheated on you guys with another podcast that was about supernatural Canadian things.

J: You weren't too good at keeping that a secret.

F: I was a venue once that was supposedly haunted and I heard some chatter, sounded like kids running around and laughing.

S: And then they probably weren't real kids.

F: They probably weren't real kids. They were fake kids.

S: Ghost children.

F: Ghost children, yes.

J: There you go.

F: That's possible. Or could have been actual kids, I don't know.

S: I would agree with Frank on that.

F: What, that they could have been- you agree that they could've been kids?

S: Yes.

F: Easily explained. Maybe they were kids.

J: I agree.

F: Hm, not so super. Have you ever had a supernatural experience, Shaun.

S: No.

F: Do you want one?

S: I think having one through you might be enough for me.

F: Really? Alright. That's all you can handle.

J: Listen. You're supernatural experience was more than enough for me. The closest thing I've had recently was one of my goddaughter's toys that lights up and plays music, I think the battery was dying and it just kinda went off on its own. And it scared the fucking shit out of me. It scared me so bad!

S: There was a story and it was my wife's grandmother, someone had died, and she was sleeping on the couch. And then she started hearing this person talking to her.

F: Your wife's sleeping-

S: No, my wife's grandmother.

F: Your wife's grandmother is sleeping.

S: Yeah. And someone had recently died and then she started hearing this person talking to her, like calling her- saying her name and stuff like that, and maybe asking if she was there. And it kept happening over and over again. She started to get freaked out. So what it ended up being was the fucking cat kept hitting the answering machine and it was a message from this person that kept playing over and over!

F: No way!

J: Holy shit!

F: But wait! But what if the cat was possessed by that spirit to hit the button?

S: Oh!

F: That's what you're missing.

J: That's a vindictive spirit, man.

F: That's the thing, yeah.

S: I mean, probably not, but.

F: I like how they still didn't listen to the message though. "No seriously, the message is very important."

J: From my grandmother, my family, I've been told, is psychically attuned.

F: Oh, to what?

J: To everything. It's a lot. So, my mom years ago gave me this jade Buddha with this little red fringe is hanging off it. It's actually hanging off my front door right now. She's like, "This will keep your house safe." And so, it's like a ward of protection I keep on my front door. Now, my mom's paranoia and anxiety has, you know, since rubbed off on me. And then plus my OCD, it's just, every night before I go to bed, I'm like, you know, touching the burners to make sure they're off, I'm rubbing the jade Buddha, making sure the door is locked like three times before I get into bed. Then I get into bed, and I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and I come out of the bathroom and I'm like, "Fuck, hold on," so I take the flashlight out on my phone and I shine it on the other side of the bed, make sure there's no one on the other side of my bed on the floor waiting to murder me. So that's kinda where I live now.

F: First off, here- wait. What have you done in your life that there's someone that's looking to murder you?

J: I don't know.

F: And that secretly.

J: Nothing! But that's the kind of, what's going on up top sometimes, you know?

F: But here's the thing. If they were to break in that door, you can't- there's no escaping. I've seen your apartment.

J: There's a window in there.

F: You're gonna get out that window?

J: I'm not that fat, Frank.

F: No, I'm just saying!

J: It's a small window.

F: That's what you would do? If you heard a break in, you would go out the window?

J: I'd have to try, I don't know. I don't know what I would do.

S: You should have a plan for that.

J: I do, I have like, several plans for it actually.

F: You don't have a weapon hidden?

J: I have a knife in the drawer.

F: What kind of knife?

J: Oh no, I took that out, it's in the car now. Shit!

F: Now what are you gonna do?

J: Now what am I gonna do?

F: You would have to jump out the window, go to the car, come back in-

J: I'm gonna hope I've got a good shot.

S: Then stab them.

J: I'm gonna start hurdling the remote control to my TV, the PlayStation controller.

S: You should keep coconuts by your bed.

J: Shaun, you're a genius!

S: There you go.

F: Shitballs. So you check the side of the bed.

J: Yes.

F: Because-

J: Because I have this crazy mania in my brain that thinks that someone's gonna try to murder me in my sleep.

S: I feel like, if anybody, you'd be the last person someone would want to murder.

F: I would think so too.

J: I would hope- thank you! I would hope so, but no, my little crazy brain is like, sometimes it works a little overtime.

F: Why do you think that they would break in and wait for you to go back to sleep to murder you?

J: See, I don't know.

S: So he can go to the bathroom.

J: And that's where we're getting crazy.

S: They'll let him pee first.

F: Well, you'd wanna get that out.

J: I've had many talks with myself, like, getting done taking a piss, getting in my bedroom, knowing rationally as I lock the door to my bedroom, there's double locks.

F: No!

J: Oh yeah. I have to. I have to lock the door to my room. Every place I've ever lived, the door gets locked.

F: You're kidding me!

J: Oh yeah. And so I'm about to get into bed and I have that moment, that real rational moment where it's just like, "Okay, honestly, no one's broken into your house, no one's coming to try to murder you, no one is that good of a murderer that they would've gotten in to the house through the front door that's locked, slipped past the bathroom as you're taking a piss."

F: Stealthy.

J: "Because you're not pissing that loudly, and made it into your room, and didn't bump their knees on the bed that's at the very edge of the door, and then not bumped themselves into-" because it's pitch black in there.

F: Pitch black, and then they have to lie in wait again.

J: And then they have to lie in wait again, and hold their breath until I get done, because maybe it's a poo, like I don't know. I've been out of the room for a while. So there's no way that it all would've been able to go down, but yet, I'm just like, "But if I don't check, then I'm gonna get into bed and I'm gonna- my brain's gonna run and be like, 'Well maybe you should've checked,' and I'm not gonna be able to go to sleep. So then I just check and then it's the path of least resistance.

F: They're sitting there going like, "Please go to sleep."

J: It's the path of least resistance for me.

F: "So I can murder you."

J: Yeah.

F: "I've been waiting here for 20 minutes, you didn't check, and you're still not sleeping. I can hear you're not sleeping. I've been waiting here to murder you."

J: Now, oddly enough, when I'm dating somebody and they're sleeping in the bed-

F: Do you lock the door?

J: I lock the door.

F: No!

J: I do! I lock the door, but I don't check because I feel like I would've heard them getting murdered. If that happened, then I'm cool! Like, I just lock the door.

F: It's like having a canary in the mine!

J: Exactly!

F: Holy shit! So wait, what does the person do? Like, this, you know, say it's the first night that they've slept over. This nice young lady, ample bosom, I'm sure.

J: God willing.

F: Gothy, probably has some things that she sells on Etsy.

J: Jesus Christ! You hang out with George Bungalow one time, Frank! You've already got jokes. Well no, I just sit there-

F: They wake up and the door has been locked!

J: I get it out up front and I just say, "Listen, you know, if you need to turn the light on-"

F: You should say, just once for me, just say, "Now you can't leave."

J: No! No, I would never say that to somebody! I tell them the name of the room to say to Alexa, turn the light on. And I say, "Hey, I lock the door because I have OCD about a lot of things, but you're good. Just let yourself out."

F: Oh wow!

J: Yeah.

F: I didn't know that about you.

J: You're learning new things everyday.

F: Holy shit.

J: Yeah. Apparently that was-

F: I can't wait to break in and hide behind the side of your bed later!

J: That was a really great question.

F: Holy shit.

J: Yeah. So uh, there we are. Sam from Kansas, great question. Jan wants to know, do we have a favorite meme of ourselves?

F: Yes! I found-

J: Did you really?

F: Someone sent one to me the other day.

J: Maybe it was Jan.

F: It might've been Jan.

J: That's a long way to set this one up, Jan.

S: What is it?

F: Holy shit, long con. It's fucking fantastic. I don't know who made this, or why. I don't know if it's referencing a private joke that they might have about me, but just know that it was sent to me, maybe by the person that made it, maybe not. But the private joke is so funny that it made me laugh out loud for about 20 minutes, and then I sent it to everyone I know.

S: We didn't see it.

F: Really?

J: No, you didn't send it to us.

F: That's crazy. Okay, well I saved it, and I just gotta find it.

S: You sent us the chicken nugget fucking maker.

F: What? The chicken nugget maker?

S: Yeah, isn't that what it was?

J: That's how the nuggets get made, yeah. That's what that was. That wasn't ice cream. That was terrible.

F: Oh right. Oh man. Okay. So no, this is- it's close. Where is it? Goddamnit. I wanna show it to you before I mention it, because I think it's funnier if you see it yourself. Aw man. How do you find something like that? Um...

J: Google.

S: If you sent it to someone, wouldn't it be-

F: Oh that's right, yeah. But this is like, you know-

J: Yeah but if you're on your phone, click the little i.

S: Yeah.

F: Oh yeah! Oh that's right, I could probably do that, huh? Okay, so wait, let me see. Ah, here it is. Just pass that around. It's fucking genius! I don't know why it was ever made. I know, it's so good. I mean, I do see a lot of weird things that are made with my fucking weird mug on them. This one caught me so off guard and made me laugh so hard. This is a picture of me from fucking 2001 or something, looking scraggly as fuck, in what I imagine is a supermarket or CVS feminine hygiene aisle, and the caption or the text says, "Aight babe, I'm in the pad aisle, what pussy size do you wear?"

J: Wow!

S: That's such a strange thing.

F: It's so weird!

J: It's so weird and jarring, but it's just funny.

F: It caught me really off guard.

J: So how long did it take for you to realize it was you in the picture?

F: Oh no, it was sent to me on Twitter.

S: But it's the way it's framed.

J: Someone sent it to you on Twitter?

F: It was sent to me on Twitter!

J: From a rando?

F: Yeah! Yeah. I mean, I don't know if I was like, tagged in a conversation between two other people or something like that, but I saw this fucking thing with my face on it, and I was like, "Oh jeez, what's this?" Sometimes I'll click on the @s, you know? Like, @ me, and then I'll just kinda fucking swipe it and let it just- almost like Price is Right wheel.

S: And see what it lands on.

F: And then stop it and like, look at one.

J: So I mean, you're always so great about taking pictures with fans and stuff, but maybe you don't wanna take it in the feminine hygiene aisle, so if you catch him, maybe move over to, I don't know, the school supplies or something like that.

F: I just wanna ask somebody now, "What size-," never mind, I'm never gonna say that.

S: The way that was framed was fucking hilarious.

J: My lord. Oh god, uh, Damia- I'm just reading it as as it's written, wants to know if there are any jealousy or bad vibes between any of our friends when a member left or moved?

F: Of like a band or something?

J: Yeah, means like got fired or something.

F: Oh man. You're human so sometimes that happens and it's hard to see down the line, that ultimately it's not gonna be that big a deal, but when you're in a band and you're in your teenage years or your early 20s, something like that, and you dedicate your life to something, and someone kinda like, just says, "I'm out," that's fucking earth shattering, you know? When you put all your eggs in that basket. So, sometimes you'll have some hard feelings about it but I think eventually, it dissipates.

J: Yeah, I mean, you get older, you don't care about so much stuff that felt as earth shattering in the moment.

F: Oh yeah.

J: It was just kinda like, "Why were we even mad about that?"

F: Right.

J: So, Rain from Michigan asked four questions.

F: Oh Jesus.

J: We're going to answer one.

F: Okay.

J: And the question that I'm gonna ask of Rain's four questions is, and thank god it was an easy name to pronounce this time for me, um, "If you guys could change-"

F: Is it Reign?

J: No no, it's Rain. "If you guys could change your names, what would you change them to?"

F: Oh, easy. Steve.

J: Steve. What about you, Shaun?

S: Really?! Why Steve?

F: I don't know. That's my go to alias. If I order food or if I go to a coffee shop and they ask me my name, I say Steve all the time.

J: There you go. How about you, Shaun?

S: Charles Easter.

F: I like it.

J: That's great. Dracula.

S: Dracula?

J: I just think it would be great just to go into Starbucks and they have to call me Dracula. They would wonder for days if I was fucking with them or not.

F: Do you do it?

J: No I don't do it.

F: Why not? What's holding you back?

J: I don't know. I thought about it. It works. I think I could pull off Dracula.

F: Dr. Acula.

J: Dr. Acula. Yeah.

F: Is that a band?

J: Yeah it's good. Maybe. We might be changing our name to Dracula.

F: I think you should, man. Your mom would be pissed.

J: Oh, my mom would be so mad.

F: But you would have to make her call you that too. I make my kids call me Doctor Father. Yeah, I've been trying it.

J: Which one did that land with? Who does it?

F: None of them believe that they have to call me that.

J: Really?

F: I'll say, "You should start calling me with my full actual, like you know, title." And they are like, "What?" And I'm like, "Doctor Father." They get like, "Really?" Like, I don't know if they've figured out that I'm fucking with them totally yet, or if they're like, "I think you're fucking with me, but... really?"

J: What about Miles? Has Miles gone for it?

F: He will sometimes. If I tickle him enough, he'll call me it.

J: That's his safe word, Doctor Father.

F: "Doctor Father!"

J: Jade from Texas wants to know how we deal with our daily struggles with anxiety and depression.

F: Oh god.

J: It's a heavy question, it's a good one.

S: Shake those dice, Frank.

J: You know what, it could go either way because we are recording in my apartment today, so there are mason jars filled with dice, or they could be anti-anxiety medication. Who could tell?

F: Why are there so many dice?

J: I play a lot of Dungeons and Dragons.

S: Do you need-

F: I know but at the same time?

J: So for those listening at home, I have four mason jars filled with polyhedral dice for Dungeons and Dragons and other role playing games.

F: Right.

J: Why I have so many. Well, I do collect dice. I have some really sweet dice. I have the dice made of a 10,000 year old tusk of a woolly mammoth, I have a dice made of titanium, a dice made of jet.

F: When you went into the purchase of the woolly mammoth bones-

J: Oh, I was very single. I was very single and had a lot of disposable income. It was like 250 bucks.

F: How did you know that they weren't just selling you like, I don't know, gravel?

J: Oh, I got a certificate of authenticity.

S: And shouldn't a woolly mammoth bone be in a fucking museum and not made into a-

F: Yeah! Who has access to all these bones that they're making dice out of them?

J: Well, it was a company called Artisan Dice from Texas and they make a lot of specialty dice made of a lot of weird and cool material. After the fact, after I'd spent the money and I'd ordered the dice, it's a really sweet dice, but I was like, "Yeah man, maybe this tusk should've been in a museum." But hey, too late now, I already own it. So yeah, I have some cool dice that I use regularly. My mom loves to get me Christmas presents. She does love getting me Christmas presents, and for a while, I was like, "I don't know what the hell I'd have my mom get. I don't need anything." So every year, I'd make her buy me like a pound of dice and then I would just give them away to people.

S: A pound? You can get them in pounds?

J: You can get it by the pound, yeah. Chessex makes this great pound of dice and, in the middle, they give you one complete set. Otherwise, it's all random mixed up dice. And so I kind of just- my mom had all these mason jars. Also, I dated a lot of crafty women, so there was plenty of mason jars lying around. And so I just filled them up, and it's a nice decoration.

F: "So I can keep my own urine."

J: Yeah, keeping my own piss in a jar. That's what the other mason jars are for.

F: That's awesome though. Do you know how many you have?

J: No, I have no idea because I give them away to people. Like if someone forgets some dice, here's some dice. I run a monthly Dungeons and Dragons night at this bar called Pet Shop in Jersey City.

F: I love that bar.

J: Yeah, it's awesome. Great vegetarian food. I highly recommend you try the buffalo cauliflower.

F: Fucking amazing.

J: Amazing.

F: You wanna fart all night.

J: All night, forget it, yeah. It's not date food, for sure. So yeah, I put packs of dice together and I just give them away to players, people come up trying DnD for the first time, I just give them a set of dice.

F: That's so cool. How many dice do you need to run one game?

J: So, playing 5th edition of Dungeons and Dragons rules, you wanna have two 20 sided dice, because you could either roll with advantage or disadvantage. And then you essentially just need one full set of dice, which is seven dice, plus an extra 20 sided die, and you're good to go. And you don't even need that extra 20 sided die, it's just more fun to roll multiple dice at the same time. It's easy and, you know, for people who-

F: So you need seven?

J: Seven dice. Most dice sets that you get come with seven dice. You get a 20 sided die, you get an 8 sided die, a 10 sided die, another 10 sided die that acts as a percentile so combined with the 10 sided die, it creates of a D100. You get a 6 sided die and you get a 12 sided die and a 4 sided die.

F: Holy shit.

J: Yeah. And it's cool because you can get a set of dice for like, 5 or 6 bucks depending on where you get it. And then you can get them in all different colors. I'm about to back a Kickstarter of a guy who made ice cream dice. So they're all flavors of ice cream, but they're polyhedral dice, so he's got a Neapolitan, he's got an orange Creamsicle. It's fun stuff. I love dice, I collect a lot of dice, but yeah, I don't need five pounds of them, but you know, mom likes to get me presents and I don't like to say no.

F: Who are you to deny her?

J: Who am I to deny my mother buying me wonderful presents with love from her heart?

F: Made from dead woolly mammoths.

J: No, that cost me about 250 bucks, and yeah. You know, sometimes I roll it and I go, "Should've been in a museum."

F: "I shouldn't roll this."

J: I roll it anyway.

F: Where is it? Do you have it here? Is it in a special safe?

J: No, it's actually under the Yoda puppet. There is a box by a company called Wormwood.

F: I see it!

J: And in that box there is my totally sweet dice.

F: I love that Yoda has real hair.

J: That's an actual vintage puppet from the Empire Strikes Back. Not used in the movie, of course. Yeah, watch out, it's magnetic.

F: Oh Jesus.

S: Wait, it's this one?

J: Yeah, the white one. That's actually made from the tusk of a woolly mammoth.

S: This is a bone?

J: That's a bone.

S: I think they fucked you, man. That feels like plastic to me.

J: Tusks are hollow, man. It's not, it's actual. Smell it.

F: Wait, is it really? Taste it.

S: Lick it, Frank.

J: Smell it.

F: Wait, is it cracked?

J: No, that's just the grain of it.

F: Oh, it smells like mammoth to me.

S: Can you Jurassic Park that thing and make a real one?

J: Ooh, maybe.

F: You might be, I don't know.

J: Yeah.

F: It's an actual woolly mammoth bone? Genuine?

J: The tusk of a 10,000 year old woolly mammoth, yeah.

F: If you found out it was only a thousand year old woolly mammoth, would you be upset?

J: I still would've paid for it, yeah.

S: Is this one a rock? What is this one?

J: That is made from the bone of a velociraptor.

F: What?! Jesus Christ, dude!

S: Get the fuck out, really?!

J: Yeah man.

S: What are you doing? You're going to have fucking-

F: I love that! I don't have any dice, but this is the one I would have though.

S: How are you getting fucking-

F: This is small!

J: Yeah well, I mean it's-

F: Can you even use this?

J: Yeah, you can but you need to use it under light because you can hardly see the numbers on it.

F: Holy fuck, I'm too old to even read this.

J: Yeah, definitely need to wear my glasses.

F: Oh my god, this is a velociraptor’s what?

J: The bone of a velociraptor. I don't know. It was a very nondescript bone.

S: That's so crazy.

J: That is titanium, the one you're holding in your hand, Shaun.

S: I didn't know that they would sell bones like that for public consumption.

J: Yeah, I'm sure someone had to pay someone off for it.

S: I like- this one's cool. It's got some weight to it.

J: Yeah, it's made of titanium.

S: Yeah.

J: So yeah, to answer your-

S: It's made of adamantium.

J: Oh god, I wish. Forget it. Imagine trying to cut adamantium into a 20 sided die.

F: Do you feel like any of these give you better luck?

J: Oh the one you're holding right now, the titanium one, is my main one. It rolls high always. Because you wanna roll high in DnD, you always wanna put up some numbers, especially you wanna try to shoot for a natural 20. So that one always rolls pretty high. The dinosaur bone one rolls pretty good as well. The jet one, which is the black one that's in there, that rolls pretty well.

F: What's that one made of?

J: Jet.

F: Made of jet? Like, the magazine?

J: Yeah, like the magazine.

F: You ever roll Cee-lo with these?

J: No, I don't think you can roll Cee-lo with a 20 sided die.

F: You could try.

J: You could try, yeah.

S: Oh my god.

F: I got a dollar. What's that green one?

J: The green one is made from the plastic-

S: Jade.

J: -that they make the canopies for jet fighters from.

F: Jesus Christ, man!

S: Wow.

F: That's awesome!

S: What about this one? Is this wood?

J: That's wood.

S: Just plain wood? Nothing cool?

J: Just plain old wood.

S: Oh.

J: Yeah.

S: Alright.

F: Shaun's unimpressed with that one.

J: He saved the worst for last.

S: No, it's cool, man.

J: Uh, to answer your question, Jade from Texas. "Do you suffer from anxiety and depression? How do I deal with it?" I try to eat right, I try to exercise, I prioritize sleep, I talk to my therapist, and I try to make time to spend with my friends and family doing fun things like Dungeons and Dragons.

F: I like that, that's a good plan. Here's the thing. If you're, yeah, if you're doing things that make you happy, it's hard not to feel better about things, but depression's a fucker. So it'll creep in sometimes, even when you're supposed to be happy. And that's when you might need to, you know, seek the help of somebody that knows a little bit better than you do.

J: Yeah.

F: And sometimes, you know, medication is helpful. I've had good reactions and terrible fucking reactions, so you gotta do that shit with the utmost care.

J: Professionals.

F: Seriously.

J: That's why they get paid the big bucks.

F: Hey, so here's a question from Frank in New Jersey. So alright, we've talked about the ghost thing twice, right? Because not everyone gets to be a ghost, right? What necessitates that and could animals be ghosts? Are there caveman ghosts? Are there velociraptor? Like, do you think that maybe you'll be haunted by a 5,000 year old woolly mammoth for his fucking bone die, that you've taken and you have? He doesn't feel complete somewhere.

J: Great question, Frank from New Jersey. So I think that a lot of it has to do with, you need to be a sentient being. You need to have some kind of like... Like, I love animals but I don't know that an animal is going to have that moment where he or she feels like they left something undone in the world. Like, they need to stick around until they find that bone that they buried somewhere. I think that ghosts and the paranormal is really tied into deep emotion, whether it's like a joyful emotion, or an emotion that, like, real trauma. And that's why you have malevolent spirits or you know, just your friendly ghosts that are just kinda doofing around because they just wanna hang out still.

F: Alright. Do you feel like, say like, you know, at what point in evolution did that occur? So like, cavemen? Cro-Magnon?

J: I think once you got past the Cro-Magnon times, I think once people started having motivations for things other than just-

F: Survival.

J: Making fire and survival. Like, when there was things that could be left undone rather than just, "Oh, gotta invent the wheel today." I think that's kinda where we're at.

F: So, when people got selfish and started- Like, when do you think the first, like I guess, murder took place? Because I feel like that, the motivation behind jealousy and things of that, start to kinda tie in with the realization of things other than just survival, or you know, wanting things that you can't have, or wanting other people that you can't have, and things of that nature, like, kind of playing into.

J: So I'm gonna go with, because I think that's great, I'm gonna go with I think when it hits the point where you can be consciously committing any of what we consider the seven deadly sins. If you were just kind of, something just happened, like it is what it is. Like, you know, you're killing someone to survive, but when you're like, "Okay."

F: Animal based.

J: When things go from animal based to premeditated, then I think that's kinda when OG ghosts would happen.

F: Okay. So, what is the oldest ghost ever reported? Do we know?

J: I don't know.

F: Is it probably Victorian, or something like that?

S: Mhm.

F: Mmmhm.

J: I think if you're gonna go Biblical, it would probably be like Cain and Abel.

S: Oh, right.

F: Mhm.

S: Bible ghosts.

F: Bible ghosts! I like that.

J: Yeah. I mean, I think if you're looking at Cain and Abel's premeditated murder, so I would probably say something along those lines. That's as far back as I can think.

F: Alright.

J: For those listening at home, I'm like 14 seasons into Supernatural, so I've got some thoughts.

F: Please report in the oldest known ghost.

J: Yeah, if you're listening to this and you can figure out what would be the original ghost sighting, definitely tweet it out to us, because we are now very curious about this. But we're not gonna actually do any work or research on our own.

F: No, yeah, definitely not doing that.

J: No, we don't like homework. Alright so, we got one more question before we wrap this episode up. And I think- I'm gonna slaughter this name. Citlali.

F: That was good. I think that's how you do it.

J: They actually put it in here phonetically for me, and it said, "Lolly pop, I know it's weird." From Nevada wants to know, "Frank, what is your favorite line from one of your songs?"

F: Oh Jesus. Oh man.

S: I could tell you my favorite part of one of Frank's songs.

J: Do it.

F: Oh please.

S: The end of... Crap, what's the name of that fucking- hold on. I'm not gonna ask you even though you're right here.

F: Okay. I won't tell you either.

S: Oh, the second song, Veins on-

F: Oh!

S: The end of that song where it's just like that driving. I'm always like, "Why isn't there more of that?" You know what I mean?

F: Yeah. Just give a little bit, now you have to play it again.

S: A little more, yeah. No, I think that's one of my favorite parts of one of Frank's songs.

F: Oh, I like that part too. Thank you. That's cool. There are song lines in that that I think are killer. I feel like sometimes you'll write things and you'll be like, "Oh, that shit's snarky." I like that a lot. I like when shit stings a bit, you know?

J: Yeah, I agree.

F: I don't know. There's some too, there's some killer lines from the Pencey record that Hambone wrote that I like a lot. Like, "See you around sometime on the 6th of never." That line always got to me, I like that line a lot. I think the whole thing of 8th Grade.

J: Yeah, because that was emotional for me. That was like-

F: That was a cool song.

J: You know, that was, you know, about being bullied and stuff. I like, so for me, the best lyrics I think I wrote, I wrote when I was doing Brine and Bastards. I mean, I like Prayer For A Homesick Sailor, I like the lyrics I wrote for Last Call, and for Fear and Loathing in New Jersey. It was something I came up with, stuff that I came up with. I think for me the best lyrics that I wrote were the most personal stuff that I wrote, even though I don't know that the time I think I was writing personal stuff. Because I mean, Brine and Bastards are dressed up like pirates. So I was thinking I'm writing about being a pirate, but you know, I'm writing about being a bar fly and my favorite bar's closing. So there was that. Of your songs, Frank, I love She's the Prettiest Girl at the Party With a Mean Right Hook.

F: Oh.

J: I think that's one of the best songs you've ever written.

F: Thanks, man.

J: You know, soup to nuts it's like, perfectly arranged, perfect lyrics, they're great.

F: Thanks, man. That's a fun one because it's like, I like how every chorus you get another line. It's almost like a slow reveal on that song. And that was a song that I thought I hadn't really heard before, of like being in love in a troubled romance. Sometimes people write these love songs about these things that are like, "Oh, everything's perfect, everything's great," because you know, you make each other feel really great and all these things, but sometimes there's troubling things about relationships and the way that sometimes, you're in a relationship with somebody that doesn't always say things that make you feel good, you know what I mean? But that doesn't discount the realness or the gravity of the relationship.

J: Yeah.

F: So I think that was like a song where I was like, "Oh well I've never really heard a song like this about a non-conventional relationship."

J: Yeah, it's awesome and I love it and I look forward to more Frank Iero music.

F: Oh man.

J: Oh, look at that.

F: Dude, 14 songs coming soon.

S: When is that coming out? By the time this episode airs, it should be out, right?

F: I guess so, right? Yeah. End of May.

J: Alright so, by the time this episode drops, Frank's new album Barriers will be in stores, it will be online. Go out and buy this album. It is the best thing he's ever done. And with that said, Frank is also gonna be on tour so if he's coming to your area, definitely go check out Frank Iero and the Future Violents. You are not gonna regret it and you're not gonna wanna miss this show. Now, all that said, this is gonna end up being the season finale of Casual Interactions. Shaun, Frank, and I all have crazy summers ahead of us and it's gonna be very hard for us to get together and record some new episodes, so that's kinda the bad news. The good news is that we're gonna be back in the fall with new episodes, some new segments, and some surprises that you're all gonna love a whole lot. So thank you all so very much for tuning in. We really appreciate all the feedback that we get, we appreciate all the tweets, we appreciated all the questions. And we're gonna leave you with one last question. We saved the best for last. Here we go. So it's a three part question, actually, and I think it's worth it because it starts off. It's Savvy from Tennessee.

F: Savvy.

S: Ooh.

F: I like that.

J: "How many of you have tattoos?" I can answer all of us. "What are your favorite tattoos?" which is something we should answer, then, "Any crazy tattoo stories?"

S: Oh god.

F: Oh man! We talked about this before.

S: Yeah, we just talked about it.

F: Alright, go ahead.

J: Do you have a favorite tattoo, Frank?

F: I mean, I have ones that mean a lot. Like I have portraits of my grandmothers that have passed away, and my grandfather. So those are some of my favorites. I feel like even the ones that maybe I look at and I'm like, "Oof, that's not done really well," still mean a lot and still have, because like, I remember the moment in time when I got it, or where I got it, or who I was with, or who did it. And I feel like, you know like, I don't have many regrets about getting tattooed. I think, I don't know if I have a hierarchy of which ones I like the best or anything like that. I think if I could go back in time, I would maybe worry about placement more.

J: Right.

F: Just because I'm slowly but surely running out of space.

J: You are almost out of space.

S: Yeah.

F: Yeah, I'm running out of convenient space. Nothing feels good anymore.

J: No.

F: So, um, yeah. That's a rough thing, but there's definitely artists out there that I really would love to get tattooed by. I feel like now, it's gotten to this point where it's like a collection of different art and artists out there, different tattoo artists that I really love.

J: How about you, Shaun? You have a favorite tattoo?

S: I think mine is probably the big fucking buffalo head.

F: I like that a lot. That's Shawn Dillon, right?

S: His name is Esteban.

F: Oh, very nice.

J: So you name the buffalo but not the coconut.

S: I named the coconut.

F: Yeah, Shitball.

S: I name everything.

F: Where were you?

J: I was laughing too hard. Yeah, the buffalo looks great. My favorite tattoo is a Shawn Dillon tattoo he did on my forearm. It is based off an old Bastille Halloween decoration. The decoration was two skeletons playing instruments. This one is just a skeleton playing a bass guitar with some bats and a very orange moon, which I love.

F: You held that color really well.

J: I don't go out in the sun very much. That's my secret. Don't go in the sun.

F: Get the sun tattooed but don't go in it.

J: Don't go in it, yeah. So my crazy tattoo story is that when I was 22, 23?

F: No, really?

J: Yeah, I was probably 22 or 23. We were still doing Pencey so I was probably 22, 23. I was a dinner with a guy I knew and the girl he was dating, and her friend was there, and she was a tattoo artist. And we started joking around about getting tattoos and he was like, "You know what you should do, Hambone?" Because Jenna Jameson was big at the time, she was an adult film actress from many many moons ago. He was like, "You should get the same tattoo she has on her ass that says Heartbreaker with two broken hearts." And we were fully in the bag at this point. Don't make decisions like this when you're drunk, folks.

F: Oh no, definitely do.

J: Don't do it. And I'm like, "Yeah of course I'll do it, I'll do it." So the one girl I was at the table with was like, "I'm a tattoo artist, I'm an apprentice, sometimes I get the shop to myself. If you come down, I'll just do it for you for free." And I was like, "Yeah sure, I'll do anything... once, whatever."

S: "I'll do anything."

J: Is it free? Fuck it, let's do it. So, months go by and I get a phone call from this gal and she's like, "Oh hey, the tattoo shop, I have it to myself. You wanna come down and get the Heartbreaker on your ass?" And I was just like, "Alright, it's too funny not to." So I call Frank and Shaun, and I'm like, "Hey guys," told them the story, "do you guys wanna come?"

F: "Definitely."

J: "This could be funny." So we get down there and this gal has got the whole tattoo shop to herself and we go into the back room. And the way the tattoo shop is set up, the front of the shop has the cases with all the piercing jewelry and whatever, and some flash, and the back is where all the tattoos happen. And there was like this little Western door.

F: Saloon door.

J: Saloon doors that go from the front to the back. So we go through the saloon door, you hear the familiar click clack click clack click clack of the saloon doors. Similar to the kind of saloon doors that they would have in West Coast Video in the porno section so they'd always know if someone went back there and was looking at the porno.

F: Oh, is that what they're there for?

J: I kinda figured that's what it was. I sussed it out later. I'm like, "Of all the doors you could've put, why would you do that?"

F: You could have beads.

J: They could've have beads. But beads don't make that sound that just inspires shame.

F: I feel like if you got beads, you're ashamed. You should be ashamed if you've got beads.

J: So we go in the back and she gets all set up, and Frank and Shaun are there, and I'm there. We're all just trying to control our laughter because I'm about to get Heartbreaker tattooed on my right ass cheek. And either Frank or Shaun, I can't remember which one.

F: I can't remember either.

S: I don't know.

J: But someone was like, "No, you need to get Hambreaker because your nickname is Hambone. It'll be funnier." So of course I went with it.

F: It's definitely funnier.

J: It still holds up. It still holds up because you know, I have to get face down on the tattoo table, we take my pants down, and she's like shaking it. She has to shave the area so she's gotta shave my ass, and she's like, "I don't know about this."

F: I feel like you don't have a hairy ass, really.

J: I didn't, but you still have to shave the area anyway.

F: Oh yes, yes you do.

J: So Shaun steps up and takes the razor. Shaun shaved my right ass cheek.

S: I don't remember that.

J: That's what friends are for.

F: I don't remember that either.

J: And so she puts the stencil down and she starts tattooing, and as she starts tattooing, she starts giggling a little bit. I'm like, "What?" And she's like, "I've never done letters before!" And here she is tattooing letters on my ass, and I'm like, "Oh my god. What did I get myself into?" And as she's going, I'm like, "Oh, you have the place to yourself," and she's like, "Yeah yeah. My boss lets me give tattoos because I'm an apprentice. He trusts me to do it." And all the sudden he comes walking through the door, and he is this gigantic, burly biker dude. He's wearing leather chaps and he's got a cowboy hat on and a leather vest and a polo tie. And I mean, I know it specifically because I looked up and it's first thing I saw. Him come walking in, I hear the click clack click clack click clack of-

F: Maybe that's why there's saloon doors.

J: The saloon doors. No, but they were there, and he comes walking through and he goes, "Ugh, I've seen this before." And he turns around and he walks away, and I'm like, "What does he mean?" She's like, "Oh, he's been to prison," I'm like, "Oh my god." Then she's giggling again and I'm like, "What is it?" She's like, "I'm doing color for the first time!" And I'm like, "Oh my god." I mean, this is almost 20 years ago. This gal has turned into a world class tattoo artist, so you never know who's tattooing you, who they're gonna turn into one day. At that point, it was the first time she had done letters and had done color, and to the day, I still have the word Hambreaker with two broken hearts tattooed on my right ass cheek.

F: Did it hold up though?

J: It's faded a little bit. I might go back and have her touch it up for my 40th birthday, and also get your name put on the other cheek.

S: And that's where we end it.

J: Yeah, I think that's a good point to go home. So yeah.

F: That is a good one.

J: That's my crazy tattoo story. Make sure you're smart before you get tattoos and you find the right artist, and also think about it, because it's gonna be on your ass or you arm for a very long time. So for Frank and Shaun, I'm John "Hambone" McGuire.-

F: You're gonna have that ass forever.

J: Until we meet again, hold on to your friends.

#frank iero #shaun simon #hambone #casual interactions #9 #casual interactions 9 #full transcription

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manbehindtheshield · 5 years

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carol and steven for the halloween ship meme because they're nuts and i love them XD

(Halloween) Give me a ship and I’ll tell you who: accepting

Choses the pumpkin: carol makes suggestions, but steven’s the one that ultimately decides.

Carves the pumpkin: steven is really good with a knife.

Gets scared and clings the other in a haunted house: as much as steven acts like he doesn’t get shaken up about anything, he’s actually a big fraidy cat. he’d be the one clinging to carol.

Matching costume idea: carol is the one to suggest them. steven hates dressing up.

Makes a cozy bed-fort to cuddle in: carol does with lots of fluffy pillows and blankets, twinkle lights, snacks. steven always has an expensive bottle of wine to share. sometimes they watch a movie, other times they just listen to music and talk.

Steal’s the other’s candy: carol sweetly steals steven’s candy right in front of him and he scowls and glares at her.

Accidentally gets lost in a corn maze: steven does – his sense of direction is all that good. carol has to come and find him and he always plays it off like he’s just ‘exploring.’

Tells spooky stories to scare the other: carol is always trying to spook steven – sometimes it works, other times it doesn’t

Collects cool-looking leaves: steven finds them for art inspiration.

@cptcardnvrs

#cptcardnvrs #leave a message :: ask box

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thecharmingknightemma-moving · 5 years

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like this post and I’ll pick a sentence from this meme and turn into a short starter (one liner or with a bit of context)

you can specify your muse(s) and everything else if you want (fandom, what is Emma)

some sentences might need to be adjusted to work

I’ll copy them under read more as well in case the post disappears:

‘ i’m a snack but everyone seems to be on a diet. ’ ‘ i’m gonna replace every bone in my body with a knife, if someone punches me they’re in for a surprise (the knife) ’ ‘ let me just flirt with you and be a brat and send you cute half nudes. ’ ‘ blue-flavored candy is always the best flavor of candy like what the fuck. blue raspberries aren’t even a thing. we are literally eating the color blue as a flavor and it’s fucking magical. ’ ‘ touch id is pissing me off. ‘try again’ the fuck? it’s me with a lil chicken grease. ’ ‘ call me in the middle of the night and tell me you can’t sleep without me. ’ ‘ healthy relationships with fathers? sounds fake. ’ ‘ me to my alarm in the morning: i was literally sleeping but go off i guess. ’ ‘ do i blame my zodiac sign or my childhood traumas or both ’ ‘ *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* i cannot believe this asshole didn’t use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable. ’ ‘ my specialty: the accidental 12 hour nap in broad daylight ’ ‘ quiet little moans while making out is the hottest thing ever ’ ‘ date somebody who will go on a road trip with you to see america’s 10 most haunted places ’ ‘ any vampires who need permission to enter my house…. you have my permission… you wanna come through my window in a flurry of fog and wind? you can do that… wanna drink my blood and take me away to your big vampire castle? alright friend, go for it ’ ‘ i’m the guy from the lady and the tramp who gives stray dogs pasta and stands in an alleyway playing an accordion for them ’ ‘ *nervously calls crush bro* ’ ‘ i don’t have trust issues. i have ‘seen that shit happen before my own eyes’ issues. ’ ‘ fuck summer. i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october. ’ ‘ concept: we are holding each other in bed, we look at each other and know that all that waiting all that distance was worth it to be close now ’ ‘ i’m so lucky to have gotten to watch you grow so much this past year. i’m so proud of you. ’ ‘ i’m so protective of me now, i’ll cut somebody off for simply having the wrong energy ’ ‘ why are you trying to make me horny. bitch, you know i’m making macaroni. ’ ‘ date a boy who curls up on your lap, even though he is 6’2" because he loves cuddles ’ ‘ going out on a date is cool and all; but what about simply sharing a bed with someone, listening to music and discovering everything about one another, together. ’ ‘ we are drunk and i ended up sitting on the bathroom counter with my legs wrapped around you, but when i wrote ‘marry me’ on your hand with a sharpie, i wasn’t joking. ’ ‘ you’re equivalent to my favorite color. you’re the human version of what is safe. ’ ‘ one of the most toxic things i’ve ever done is ignore the bad in someone because i love them. ’ ‘ you think you want me to shut up? i have to listen to myself even when i’m not talking ’ ‘ why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had your back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary. ’ ‘ i like wearing your clothes. they smell like you and your scent is home to me. ’ ‘ *therapist voice* you are stupid and gay. ’ ‘ i like to blame myself for everything just in case. ’ ‘ the realist thing you can do for me is keep your word. ’ ‘ love yourself enough to set boundaries. your time and energy are precious. ’ ‘ i haven’t done anything but i sure could use a break. ’ ‘ sometimes you just need to hear how much you mean to someone. ’ ‘ who needs april fools. my entire life is a joke. ’ ‘ i wish i could be near you, my heart misses you. ’ ‘ i’m not trying my hardest but i’m very tired which i think should be taken into consideration. ’ ‘ me @ me: don’t start buddy don’t you dare. ’ ‘ so what’s next? you heal. you grow. and you help others. ’ ‘ my kink is not setting an alarm for the next morning. ’ ‘ if you think i’m cute send me money. ’ ‘ one day i will take a good selfie and you will be sorry….. you will all be sorry. ’ ‘ not a day passes where i don’t embarrass myself but it’s ok because i’m on the path to destroy my ego so i won’t be embarrassed anymore. ’ ‘ there is no reason not to love with you whole heart. ’ ‘ i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years. ’ ‘ sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and send that text. ’ ‘ ‘i can see your nipples through that shirt’ first of all stop being ungrateful. ’ ‘ so much is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s too much!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m tired leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ’ ‘ i heard you like bad girls. well i’m bad….. at everything. ’ ‘ yes, i am fully aware that I’m The Worst™ but i still wanna be like……. loved and stuff. ’ ‘ i really am, from the bottom of my heart, an actual fucking idiot. ’ ‘ let me show you just how good i can be. ’ ‘ i’m just tryna chill on a beach somewhere at 3 am. ’ ‘ i have a serious weakness for thigh grabbing and hickeys. ’ ‘ i’m a snail and god is salting me. ’ ‘ i hate texting people who don’t use a billion emojis and a trillion exclamation points in their messages. just say you hate me and want me to die. ’ ‘ being called baby?????? holding hands????!? being KISSED?!!!?!??????? ’ ‘ i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years. ’ ‘ my heart busts a nut every time someone tells me they saw something and they thought of me. ’ ‘ i have hella heart eyes for you. ’ ‘ you’re cute. i wanna kiss you for a whole hour. ’ ‘ it’s pretty iconic to like yourself. ’ ‘ i am so jealous of animals that get to hibernate, like what the fuck, why can’t i just sleep for four months and then return to real life. ’ ‘ stop feeling sad and acting weird you bitch (the bitch is me) ’ ‘ i’m still obsessed with you like it’s day one. ’ ‘ to quote hamlet act iii scene iii line 92, ‘no’. ’ ‘ i would have a cuter room if i wasn’t a goblin who threw all her shit on the floor. ’ ‘ on two hours of sleep i’m either way too happy or violently homicidal. ’ ‘ let’s go on a date and by date i mean lay in bed and make out for three hours. ’ ‘ alphabet soup. more like times new ramen am i right. ’ ‘ tbh it’s okay if no one else thinks i’m funny because i think i’m a riot. ’ ‘ catching feelings is bullshit. i’m just eating french fries, why i gotta think about kissing you? fuck you. ’ ‘ smiling is so weird like you stretch your eating hole to show happiness. ’ ‘ self care is putting absurd amounts of parmesan cheese on your pasta. ’ ‘ you didn’t go through all of that for nothing. ’ ‘ get you a girl who loses her shit every time you send a selfie. ’ ‘ i wish i could be there to take care of you right now. ’ ‘ home is where the heart is and my heart has always belonged to you. ’ ‘ i just wanna have soft glowy skin, long eyelashes, pink lips, rosy cheeks, lots of cash, and no responsibilities. ’ ‘ ok but platonic forehead kisses. ’ ‘ my heart is guarded but like… very poorly. the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an r-rated movie. ’ ‘ what doesn’t kill me doesn’t kill me (unfortunately). ’ ‘ do you ever look at a boy and wonder if he moans as pretty as he looks. ’ ‘ life tip: if nothing goes right go to sleep. ’ ‘ by cute do you mean you wanna frick frack or do you mean i look 12? ’ ‘ cats are very pickupable and i think that was a really good choice on their part. ’ ‘ don’t depend on anyone. handle your own shit. ’ ‘ there isn’t one alternate reality where i didn’t fall in love with you. ’ ‘ being my ex must be the worst thing. imagine losing me? ’ ‘ if i say ‘backstreet’s back’ and you do not say ‘ALRIGHT!’ we’re not friends. burn in hell, you sick fuck. ’ ‘ i love every cat in the entire world. every cat on the planet. if there are any cats in outer space, i love them too. ’ ‘ my mom is really that bitch and i’m that bitch jr. ’ ‘ you know you’re fucked when their voice turns you on. ’ ‘ don’t look at my fucking boner when we fight. ’ ‘ not all heroes wear capes. a lot of them wear collars and are called dogs. ’ ‘ it’s you. it will always be you. ’ ‘ why do tattoos cost so much? i’m paying you to injure me. ’ ‘ thank you for being the biggest light in my life and saving me from the darkness. ’

#sorta starter call #starter call;#to be reblogged later #some can be texts some are definitely said out loud #might be done tomorrow for obvious reasons

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pink-pupz · 6 years

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Autumn/fall preferences tag meme

I got tagged by @meowing-velociraptor, here we go! 🤗

Rules: bold your preference & tag ten people (although I’ll tag a couple and leave the rest up to my followers if they want to participate or not)

1. Go apple picking vs go on a hay ride (I have hay fever so :’))

2. Scary vs sweet (I like sweet things ☺️)

3. Sweaters vs boots (I don’t own a pair of decent boots but I will in the future, I’m going to H&M and trying on some Chelsea boots soon)

4. Socks vs mittens (I love socks! I have very poor circulation and my hands and feet often become FREEZING (mostly my feet) so I love wearing socks, especially fluffy ones!)

5. Bonfires vs football (I don’t mind bonfires, it’s just when fireworks are involved I get really anxious)

6. Trick or treating vs watching scary movies (I’m too old for it, but if I had younger siblings I would go trick or treating with them! )

There’s no question 7 or 8?

9. Bake pie vs bake cookies (I’ve never had a sweet pie :) only savoury pie)

10. Rain vs fog (I don’t like being out in rain but I love sitting indoors really cozy and listening to the rain)

11. Black cats vs owls (my first cat was a black cat :’) I miss him lots)

12. Ghosts vs wizards (I have had many ghost experiences.)

13. Harry Potter vs Halloweentown (I haven’t seen either, they don’t really interest me that much but I took the Pottermore quiz once and it said I’m a HufflePuff. Am I cool yet?)

14. Hiking vs sleeping in (I only sleep in after a long week at college (which is like, most days) and I’ve never been on a hike)

15. Cinnamon vs nutmeg (Cinnamon is in most Swedish pastries fyi, I love it)

16. Reading vs writing (I love both, though I prefer writing)

17. Hot chocolate vs tea (Hot chocolate is for cold months and tea is for every month ☺️ I drink a lot of tea but I switch over to hot chocolate as soon as I feel like it’s officially colder months)

18. Live in a cabin in the forest vs have autumn all the time (I could live like a rural Swede! Like my ancestors!)

19. Candy apples vs caramel apples (Never had any of these :’) please don’t hurt or judge me)

20. Blankets vs pillows (JAG!! FUCKING!! ÄLSKAR!! I LOVE SOFT THINGS AND HAVING TONS OF BLANKETS AND PILLOWS IS HEAVEN FOR ME)

21. Roasted marshmallows vs roasted chestnuts (I never had these whoops)

22. Coffee vs apple cider (Try and pry my special coconut/dairy free coffee and my Swedish cider out of my cold, dead hands you fools)

23. Red vs orange leaves (!!!!!!!!!!)

24. Braids vs bows (I can plait my fringe and I used to plait my hair when it was really really long but I’ve never been into bows, only bows on headbands)

25. Scented candles vs the smell of fresh baked goods (JAG ÄLSKAR!!!)

26. Carve pumpkins vs make pumpkin pie (I’m not trusted with knifes after my knife accident and I’ve never had pumpkin pie before)

27. Pumpkin spice latte vs chai tea latte (Never had any of these...)

28. Coats vs over sized sweaters (!!!!!!!! MMMH JAG ÄLSKAR EN MASSA)

29. Beanies vs berets (I love hats :))

30. Candy corn vs peanut butter cups (I’m so glad I’m not allergic to peanuts because I basically inhale Reeses chocolate)

31. S'mores vs apple crisp (I had a s'more once. It was nice.)

32. Jump in a pile of leaves vs swing on a tire (I’m not adventurous enough for these things)

33. Corn maze vs haunted house (I’ve been in a real haunted house and I’ve never been through a corn maze before)

34. Bob for apples vs visit a pumpkin patch (I don’t like putting my head under water and plus I don’t know if we can grow pumpkins here)

35. Whipped cream vs marshmallows on hot chocolate (😍😍😍 bothhhh)

Tagging : @valentinegoth @syncron554 @ti-enna08 @dorothy-gay-of-kansas @ilovecoffeeandchemistry @lylianarm @sapphic-vilde-lien and anyone else who wants to do this! Have fun!

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vaguepositivity · 6 years

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MCU GEN FIC RECS

by @100-demons

as we were, no longer, not be at all

Author Summary: Some days, Sam shakes his shoes upside down before he puts them on, feeling imaginary scorpions scrape against the tips of his fingers and the aching grit of desert sand seared into the backs of his eyes.

by @51st

Raw Footage

Author Summary: “Clint Barton has sent me a photograph of his glory,” Thor said, and handed Natasha his phone. Quirking an eyebrow, she glanced at it. “This is a courting custom?”

by @actualmenacebuckybarnes

& Found

Author Summary: Bucky sighs deeply. “Okay, okay. We’re lost.”

Liho's Human

Author Summary: It took Liho three months to train the exceptionally difficult human. But then again, she’d always been one for a challenge.

Never Been

Author Summary: He means to exit the shop now that the threat has cleared, but then he sees the section of Captain America merchandise. There are DVDs, books full of sepia photographs and retro propaganda posters with Captain America’s smiling face. There’s a minute when his heart seizes up, just like it had in the exhibit, and his body feels swollen and aching with some strange new feeling. Then it fades, leaving behind the infuriating sensation of an unspent sneeze, a word at the tip of the tongue. He is trying so hard to remember but all he gets is static.

not allowed to fall apart

Author Summary: Twice, Natasha slams her own shoulder out of its joint so she can squeeze out of a pair of handcuffs.Three times, Natasha slashes open her wrist cutting free from some binding. Glass on duct tape, razor blade on wire, exacto-knife on nylon rope.Once, Natasha crushes her elbow trying to break out of a ziptie. To be fair, she’s heavily drugged and off-balance because of a broken heel.Times change. Restraints change.Natasha knows the feeling of a trapped animal, gnawing off its own limb to escape.

by amcw177

Fishing Job

Author Summary: Michael gets some help and an unexpected offer.

The Undercover Boogie

Author Summary: In which Coulson’s argumentation on behalf of the human race proves highly effective and gains S.H.I.E.L.D. a new agent with an interesting concept of covert operations. Naturally, things go awry pretty fast. Written for this prompt @ avengerkink on LJ.

The Transformation Twist

Author Summary: When Loki shows up at Coulson's door, deprived of his powers, Coulson can no longer keep Loki's side job as a S.H.I.E.L.D. operative a secret. The race to find out what the hell happened begins. Meanwhile, it would be great to figure out how to stop the slowest alien incursion in human history, too. Just because it's slow doesn't mean it isn't going to wreck the whole damn place. - A sequel to 'The Undercover Boogie'.

Unreasonable Attachment

Author Summary: A spell goes sideways, Thor gets turned into a puppy, Coulson has no choice, and Loki gets to fix things.

by @amusewithaview

All in a Day's Work

Author Summary: The first thing Darcy thought when she found out they were moving in to Stark Mansion was, “OHMYGODWHAT.”The first thing Darcy thought upon actually meeting all of the Avengers was, “My god, how did these people save the world? Oh my god, how are we all still living not under alien rule?!” ...and then she had to go lie down for a while (on her brand new bed in her brand new room in the refurbished Stark Mansion) and process her life.

Amok Thunder

Author Summary: Original Prompt/Location: http://norsekink.livejournal.com/3231.html?thread=4884895#t4884895I just realized JARVIS (the movie version with Paul Bettany's really snarky voice) is Iron Man's Heimdall.They both see everything or nearly everything. Including some stuff they'd really, really wish they could unsee/delete.They both give somewhat snarky advice to Our Heroes, who then go on to blatantly disregard such advice and get themselves into terrible, horrible situations.So... I'd love to see Heimdall and JARVIS bonding, so to say, over their shared annoyance of having to watch everybody get themselves into trouble despite their warnings.Not to mention having to stand around stoically watching the Avengers et al fuck in every possible pairing combination, location and position ever devised (and you just know Tony loves an audience).

containing multitudes (quintessentiality)

Author Summary: “You must use your magic,” her grandfather had told her seriously.“Or else I’ll lose it?” she’d asked, wit faster than propriety could handle.“No, you’ll never lose it,” her grandfather had told her. “But magic wants to be used and if you don’t give it something to do, it’ll find a purpose.”She’d shrugged him off and scampered off to find her cousins. Looking back, years later, she could recognize that her grandfather hadn’t been disapproving - no, he’d been worried. But by then it was too late: some roads, once walked down, could not be backtracked.Darcy wasn’t sure she’d want to even if she could.

Have Daemon, Will Travel

Author Summary: Stories (some oneshots, some longer projects) that use the "daemon" concept from Pullman's "His Dark Materials" series. Expect the full spectrum from true crossover to fusion.

My Bubble is More Like a Brick Wall

Author Summary: For a brief moment, she fantasized about tackling him, going for the throat and ripping it out with her teeth. The element of surprise would be on her side, she could probably take down at least a few of the jackboot thugs before the rest overwhelmed her. If it went to court and trial, she had a good chance of getting off – Alpha dominance battles were like that, and nobody could argue that he hadn’t violated her territory.

Stats and the Single Sentinel

Author Summary: Darcy was around five the first time she saw the over-sized cat. She remembers that it had very pointy ears and a little beard. She remembers that it was huddled, shaking, against the wall. She remembers its eyes, a funny gold-amber color, and she remembers the shriek her mother let out when she saw the two of them curled up together.She doesn’t remember the trip to the DSG, for testing.It’s funny what kids’ minds latch onto as important.

by @andhumanslovedstories

Everyone Wants to Be Her or Do Her

Author Summary: Written for the Avengers kink meme: "Agent Hill is badass. The fact that she's beautiful is entirely beside the point. It's like the cherry on the BAMF sundae. Many of the women of SHIELD have a girl-crush on her. The younger female agents often forget they're SHIELD agents (and adults) around her."After the end of a long, long week, SHIELD Agent Jaqui Romera just wants to get drunk with her friend and talk about how much she wants to have sex with her superior officer. Is that too much to ask?

Five People Clint Barton Killed, and One He Spared

Author Summary: "Your ledger is dripping, it’s gushing red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything?" Starting at age 13 and working his way up. How Clint earned his own ledger.

History Lessons

Author Summary: As Melinda’s face hit the concrete floor, at the exact moment that her nose shattered, she thought to herself, And this is why we don’t let old friends into our secret base. These days, old friends were a SHIELD agent’s worst enemy.

Performance Review

Author Summary: "Two years of working with her and Nick’s still not that fond of Agent Romanov. Had Barton asked him—though why Barton would start now after ten plus years of doing whatever the hell he felt like—Nick would have told him the only logical answer: Hell no was he bringing that woman back alive. Barton’s job was to eliminate the killer spy. Not adopt her. You don't get cuddly with a creature like the Black Widow."Nick Fury's got a new job for Natasha and calls her into his office for a casual conversation. At SHIELD, casual conversations are a game of spy versus spy.

The Crownless King

Author Summary: Frigga and Loki's relationship in five scenes, from the very beginning to days before the tipping point.

The Soft Star-Shine at Night

Author Summary: Written for the Avengers kinkmeme: "Tony is having a nightmare. A really, really bad nightmare. So bad, he starts calling out for Yinsen in his sleep. Yinsen answers."Yinsen did not sleep or eat or tire. He crossed the span of the globe in a night. He haunted the shadows of his childhood home and saw it true for the first time. He spirited across warzones and helped the angels untangle the dead from their bodies. Even war was beautiful now, in the way that a polluted sky makes the sunset all the richer. At night, he visited cities and watched the symphony of dreams above the towering glass and metal.

The Sparseness and the Sentiment

Author Summary: "Maria Hill slept five hours a night. Never more. Occasionally less. That was her optimal amount of sleep, enough to refresh her and no more. Maria had not reached her position by courting inefficiency." Maria Hill's relationships before and after the film.

The Value of Strength

Author Summary: Written for the Avengers kinkmeme: "So Steven Rogers, Mr. Good Ol' US of A, Captain America? He's evil like pure unadultered evil. He can hide it well and he does care about certain people(his mother, Bucky, teammates who earn his trust etc) but that aside? He couldn't care less about people and if he could get away with it burn them into ash."He wakes and they tell him he’s a hero. He wakes and they fall over themselves to please him. There’s a statue of him in Arlington Cemetery that’s guarded twenty-four hours a day. They love him. They all love him.

The World These Days

Author Summary: Three short vignettes of SHIELD agents reacting to the revelation that their agency isn't at all what they thought it was. One: Three friends discuss how the hell you're suppose to get your next job with "Nazi-adjacent agency" on your resume. Two: Some people are experienced at tragedy. Three: Sharon Carter thinks it's just amazing how quickly the upheaval of your entire world will put your crush for your aunt's old boyfriend on the back-burner.

by @avamclean

normal(ish) life

Author Summary: Buffy comes down with a not so slight case of the transtemporal.

Odinsdottir

Author Summary: She died—this was the way she died. (Series of shorts.)

by @cacchieressa

14 Tracks

Author Summary: 14 tracks from Steve’s iPod and how they got on there. This is actually more like 14 loosely connected ficlets attached to a playlist that was chosen more to suit each character’s possible musical taste (and my music collection) than how the songs actually go together. It’s an outgrowth of a story that I’m not actually writing, but which led to me wondering about what is on Steve’s iPod beyond a preponderance of swing and divas. It is, in the truest of senses, song fic, so, uh, yeah. That happened.

64 Colors

Author Summary: Darcy’s life is weird, but she kind of likes it.

Inherited Characteristics

Author Summary: It's 1986, the Sox are going to the World Series, and sixteen-year-old Tony Stark has just gotten himself arrested for trying to sell nukes to the bad guys.

In the Shadow of Two Gunmen

Author Summary: After the fall of the Soviet Union, Department X was dissolved and their inventory was liquidated. The League of Assassins acquired certain assets.

Shibboleth

Author Summary: "Nightwing?" Clint scoffs. "That guy's not real."

stop clicking your red heels and wishing for home

Author Summary: Four times Steve wished he could go home and one time he realized he was already there.

The Bonds That We Save

Author Summary: In which Peggy Carter meets Etta Candy.

we travel without seatbelts on

Author Summary: In which Bucky Barnes discovers that Steve Rogers is not the only tiny blonde firebrand who felt betrayed by SHIELD.

by Closer

Role Model

Author Summary: "When things got fucked up, I asked what Captain America would do, and I did that. I didn't ever think the reason I did half of the insane things I've done would show up alive."

Six Times The Avengers Stopped An Alien Invasion

Author Summary: Sure, the Avengers are strong, but they’re also not stupid. When aliens invade, they usually have a plan.

Source Code

Author Summary: Steve finds himself in the unenviable position of having to either prove he’s himself or listen to the news media continue to speculate that he’s a robot, a clone, or a lunatic.

Turning Point

Author Summary: Steve and Tony live each other's memories only for a moment, but the fallout lasts longer.

by @copperbadge

At Tilde

Author Summary: Matilda turns hacker, impresses Tony Stark, and fails to be swayed by Charles Xavier.

Audio Commentary Track With Steve Rogers

Author Summary: Summary: Steve didn’t know you could go to college to study movies.

Black AmEx

Author Summary: Bruce isn’t sure he wants to use a credit card Tony gave him. Steve isn’t sure he even knows how.

Exclusive

Author Summary: Heroes In Manhattan: From Captain America’s Hidden Talents To The Truth About The Hulk, We Debunk The Myths And Expose The Daily Lives Of The Avengers.

Film Studies, or, Four Films About Captain America and One By Him

Author Summary: Steve Rogers is no stranger to the silver screen.

The Foodieverse

Author Summary: Steve Rogers just wanted to sell good, nourishing, cheap food from his food truck. Now the crazy fusion chefs from TOBRU are calling him a hipster, the avant garde restaurant “Shield” across the street has declared war on chains, and…well, then there’s Thor, who thinks Steve’s habit of licking food is weird.

Handler

Author Summary: There are some staff changes going on at SHIELD.

Kings of Industry

Author Summary: Tony Stark showed up in Steve Rogers’ hospital room with a get-well bouquet and an offer for Sam Wilson – from King T'Challa of Wakanda.

Longform

Author Summary: The Fugitive’s History: A Search For A Man Out Of Time. (How I Found Bucky Barnes And Barely Lived To Tell About It.) Note: Sequel to Exclusive.

Portrait Of The Artist As A Robot

Author Summary: Dummy discovers self-expression through sculpture.

The Photograph

Author Summary: Steve had body-modesty trained out of him in boot camp, and apparently his attitude is infectious.

Robot Trip

Author Summary: Tony is driving from Malibu to Manhattan with a robot in the back seat and Captain America riding escort at Pepper’s behest. What could possibly go wrong?

See You In Homeroom

Author Summary: Rhodey wants heat-seeking bullets, Steve wants to go for a run, Natasha wants french toast, and Tony just wants to be prom queen.

Selfie With Granddad

Author Summary: After the invasion, Natasha’s granddad shows up.

Someday My Prince Will Open A Transdimensional Portal

Author Summary: T. Stark Lokason, gentleman adventurer, meets Isobel Barton, who sees right through him (and likes it).

The Son Of Man

Author Summary: JARVIS did not want to be a real boy. He was quite happy being a building.

Trickster

Author Summary: It occurs to Loki that the man who keeps the hounds has even less to fear than the hounds themselves.

by @copperbadge and sanura

Star Spangled Man

Author Summary: This one night Steve's out at a bar where a woman is doing an unplugged set, just her and a guitar, which should be kind of hokey but she's really good. For her last song she says, "My grandfather had this song on a record, and he used to play it for me as a kid," and then she opens with something that sounds awfully familiar. Copperbadge's singer-songwriter OC Meg Bodoun played in a bar, and I was so struck by the scene that I rearranged the lyrics and the tune to Alan Menken's masterpiece of WWII USO nostalgia according to his specifications. I had to do it. I don't even play guitar, but I have a capo and a mic. My second-ever venture into fandom creation.

by @defractum

Phil Coulson is not a crazy cat lady

Author Summary: An AU where the Avengers are not a superhero team, but rather a group of cats that Phil Coulson owns and brings in to the SHIELD offices.

by @destronomics

erase and rewind

Author Summary: “Can you spare a few minutes to actually, you know, run your company?” She’s looking directly at the camera, holding up a sheaf of papers in one hand, wiping at the side of her mouth with the other.

Of Pressure

Author Summary: (vignette) "Like I'm an exception to a rule." The sip she takes may be more like gulp, and it's certainly half of whatever he had poured her and he thinks maybe he should start to worry. "It's sexist, Tony."

take the money and run

Author Summary: “I said I’d drive you.” But Steve starts walking anyway, which is fine, because Bucky has a car, and can easily keep pace with a 17-year-old stubborn asthmatic, no sweat, “Get in the damn car, Steve.”

the sea makes your eyes strange

Author Summary: Today it's two AM in a Polish hostel, between an old Soviet-era embassy and a cafeteria open 24 hours with free wi-fi and plenty of napkins to steal when your mark got red on you while bleeding out in the alley three blocks away

by @dizzy-redhead

'Cause I'm In Charge

Author Summary: Captain America is incommunicado chasing after The Winter Soldier, and public confidence is taking a nose-dive. Hill and Coulson are forced to take Desperate Measures.

by dustbear

the memory keeper

Author Summary: “Former military?” Phil asks.“Yes. Navy. Hospital Corps.”“Nurse?” he asks, realizing that he’s made a mistake the moment the words leave his mouth.She scowls. “No,” and doesn’t clarify further.So, Recruit Phil Coulson and Recruit Maria Hill do not get off on the right foot.Later, he finds out that she’s First Lieutenant Maria Hill, recruited from the Navy, and she is one of the most badass reconnaissance diver medics that ever was, the youngest person to qualify and serve with her specialized search and rescue unit, has a list of commendations as long as his arm, and he is suitably impressed.She finds out that Phil Coulson is a former Army Ranger, and she doesn’t give a shit.

by @emsealimb

Ghost in the Machine

Author Summary: The thing that most people don’t think about is this: if you remake the world to be nothing more than brimstone and fire, the people will rebel against their maker; nobody wants to live in Hell. If you remake the world as Utopia, somebody will question its perfection; there is always a skeptic. Loki has a lot of practice remaking this world. Natasha has had even more making herself.

Through the Forest and the Trees

Author Summary: One night in a forest, in the middle of their journey to find their beloved Master. a.k.a. Avengers/Brave Little Toaster fusion fic because why the hell not?

by @enigma731

Right Between the Eyes

Author Summary: When Dottie Underwood suddenly appears in the twenty-first century, Peggy turns to the best contact she has: S.H.I.E.L.D.'s very own Black Widow.

Something Strange

Author Summary: “Heimdall detected a disturbance,” says Thor, “in the mystic energy that lies beneath this city. I’ve been tasked with investigating the threat. It seems the best way to do that is through--infiltration of some Midgardian organization. In light of the recent tensions.” That last sounds vaguely reproachful.Clint blinks, letting this news sink in. “Wait. So what you’re saying is that you need to go undercover. And you want Nat to help you?”Ghosts in New York City would be a perfectly good reason to assemble the Avengers. Too bad that team doesn't exist anymore.

by enigmaticblue

Child's Play

Author Summary: Everybody is afraid of the Hulk--until no one is. As usual, it's Loki's fault.

That Kind of Lonely

Author Summary: They all deal with the fallout in their own way.

by @fartherfaster

The Darktown Poker Club

Author Summary: Nick, Alec, Natasha, and a deck of cards. - An introspective look at the relationship between Nick Fury, Natasha Romanov, and what it means to be liars and friends. - Inspired by the poem The Darktown Poker Club.

The Neighbour

Author Summary: americachavez: Marvel give me a short about Sharon’s undercover time as a nurse/Steve’s neighbor and that one time she had to fight off ninjas from Steve’s apartment while he was like, making dinner and sitting alone reading Obama’s biography. stardustandstrawberries: With the music turned up really loudly because he’s a gentleman and he thought the noises were her having sex. - “You vetted my neighbour,” he sighs, “and you read my mail.” The last bit, though, is mostly teasing.“I didn’t vet her,” the agent responds a little testily, “and I’m the only one who weeds the creepers out of your literal and digital mailboxes. Be thankful.” - The wall that separates Steve's apartment from his neighbour Sharon's is very thin. He learns to cope.

The Pit Stop

Author Summary: iputabirdonmyhead: Can the mid credits sequence to Age of Ultron just be Jane and Darcy on a road trip to Jane’s science conferences. They’re out of cell phone range or their phone batteries are dead, they’re bickering about directions, Darcy has a giant map unfolded in the car, everything is a mess. They stop at a gas station to get directions and freeze, staring up at the TV as it plays news footage of everything going on in New York and all the Ultron destruction. Cut back to credits. stardustandstrawberries: They’ve been staring at the TV for fifteen minutes when a pile of coats and poster tubes on the backseat shifts and Betty Ross wakes up wondering why the car’s not moving. - tumblr asked for a theoretical AoU post-credits scene involving Jane, Darcy, and Betty. my hand slipped. - “Avengers Assemble!” shouts Betty, with gusto.

by Frea_O

Counterfeit and Counterpart

Author Summary: Five times Maria Hill doesn’t understand Natasha Romanoff, and why she might be better off that way.

The Bechdel Test

Author Summary: Tony has concerns for his female teammates. Very important ones.

by fringedweller

Big Damn(Terrified)Heroes

Author Summary: Prompt was Clint, Natasha, big damn heroes. I have possibly reinterpreted this in a way that the prompter did not intend. Just a silly little crack fic. No ships, except possibly Black Widow/awesomeness.

by @galaxystew

Amateur Theatrics

Author Summary: In which Thor’s primary problem-solving method (a mighty blow from Mjolnir) fails to have the desired effect on a magical artifact, and his secondary method (a mightier blow from Mjolnir) proves to be actively disastrous.

Can't Keep A Good Man Down

Author Summary: In which Phil Coulson finds death to be less well-organized than he had expected.

Control Issues

Author Summary: An archer, a rage monster, and the Norse god of mischief wake up in a field. (Spoils Avengers.)

Darkness, Flooded in Light

Author Summary: “When much is taken, something is returned.” - Terry Pratchett, NationLoki falls. Injured and unable to access his magic, he must struggle to restore himself physically and mentally before the Bifrost is repaired and Asgard comes to find him. That would be difficult enough, but one of Asgard’s deepest secrets has followed him...

Dynasty

Author Summary: It’s not strictly accurate to say that Coulson was born to be an agent of SHIELD, but you could probably get away with saying he was raised for it.

Few So Generous

Author Summary: After Odin falls into the Odinsleep, Frigga takes up her husband’s spear and the rule of Asgard.

Fracture At The Point Of Impact

Author Summary: There was only so much of him left, anyway.

Five Stories Tim Fell Into And One He Chose For Himself

Author Summary: Because Tim Drake would be a superhero fanboy in any universe.

One Eye For Wisdom

Author Summary: Even in the ravings of a madman there can be found a glimmer of truth. (Spoilers for Avengers.)

On The Care and Feeding of Superheroes, by Pepper Potts and Alvin Draper

Author Summary: Tony is a smart man, and whatever his critics might say (those haters) he does his research. When he becomes a superhero, and after Rick’s Comic Book Emporium has delivered all the necessary research materials, it becomes immediately apparent that he needs to make some serious changes. (Crossover with DC, but takes place predominantly in the Iron Man universe.)

by @hardboiledmeggs

when the world is free

Author Summary: At the age of twenty-one, Peggy Carter enlists in the Auxiliary Territorial Service.

by @icarus_chained

Balm for the Soul

Author Summary: A tiny prompt ficlet. Tony cannot, for the life of him, make a decent piece of toast. Bruce ... finds this far more amusing than he should

Emergence

Author Summary: Sequel to A Future Shining. There is nothing so terrifying as the creation of a new life. JARVIS, Tony and the family in the run-up to the emergence of a new AI.

A Future Shining

Author Summary: It took Tony a while to notice. To see the increasingly massive sections of memory space that someone had blocked off in JARVIS’ systems, the processing power being diverted to something that … that Tony couldn’t breach. Tony, and JARVIS, and a conversation Tony never, ever thought he’d be having.

Harbour

Author Summary: A tiny Clint & Natasha ficlet, set immediately following Avengers. Life and hopes and debts and things that are not love.

Live Wire

Author Summary: Tony Stark, and the making of things.

Of Course You Realise, This Means War

Author Summary: Nick looked at the six terrified ten-year olds, and recognised the Avengers.Small de-aging fic, written for a prompt. See notes for warnings, yes?

Richard of York

Author Summary: JARVIS, Tony and Bruce, and the conceptual linkages of trust and fear. Last in the Deus Ex series. JARVIS POV.

Space Electric

Author Summary: "The SHIELD interceptor spaceship Avenger is under final attack. Aboard her, sitting in his cell, the war criminal Tony Stark gets ready for the confrontation, and the revelation, that he knows is about to come."

Things We Believe

Author Summary: There are things Rhodey believes in, and then there are things he has faith in. And one of them is that Tony Stark is an idiot, and needs all the help he can get.Tony & Rhodey, and the aftermath of Avengers (and Tony's confrontation with Steve on the Helicarrier).

by @igrockspock

A Very Promising Partnership (The Bullets and Business Suits Remix)

Author Summary: The early days of Maria’s employment at Stark Industries aren’t entirely smooth, but she and Pepper agree on a few common goals, like practicing marksmanship, wearing fabulous clothes, and banding together to defeat Hydra.

Broken Glass and Crumpled Bills

Author Summary: When Claire's parents taught her to stand up for people, they probably didn't imagine she'd develop a secret career stitching up vigilantes.

The Zombie Ninja Apocalypse Survivors Club

Author Summary: Misty thinks her new bionic arm might be evil.

by Imbecamiel

Failure, Success

Author Summary: The Winter Soldier was once sent to kill Agent Peggy Carter. He failed.

Strike

Author Summary: Sometimes the road to recovery involves bowling. Conveniently, so does the one to the Grand Canyon.

The Joke

Author Summary: Steve’s not usually oblivious - far from it, in fact. But he does have his moments. Like when he didn’t realize that the team was actually serious when they talked about Mjolnir being a magical weapon that only Thor could lift. (Inspired by a head-canon prompt, in light of the comics-canon fact that Steve is actually capable of wielding Mjolnir. Full text of prompt is in the beginning notes.)

by @ink-splotch

bringing the war home

Author Summary: Sharon Carter expected to pull a gun in the line of duty. She didn’t expect to pull it here. SHIELD was her holy ground. The Winter Soldier did not waste bullets, time, or death. Natasha told herself that and fingered her scar. Maria knew better than to invest herself in the metal bones of this place. The helicarrier's engines roared like a thudding heart. The control room windows were vast. She stood at the helm there, at Fury's shoulder, in streaming daylight and in the peaceful dark of a moonless night pinpricked with stars somewhere high over the Atlantic...

on the wrong side of the sea (of the wardrobe)

Author Summary: It was the accent caught Peggy's attention— a London lilt, not too posh, rounded a bit by some time in the country. And, more than that: a woman’s voice.Peggy was not adrift in the SHIELD hallways, this old boy’s club full of young soldiers. She was not lost, not intimidated— but she was lonely."Excuse me, ma’am," Peggy called and the woman turned around. She had a single run in her nylons and a smirk of perfect lipstick. Her badge read "Pevensie.""I have a spare pair if you want to change," said Peggy."Does this place even have bathrooms for women?" A curved eyebrow rose as Pevensie asked. Peggy liked her immediately."Not in this wing," said Peggy. "Come on, we’ll kick the boys out of theirs."

someone to catch you when you fall

Author Summary: Tony has faith in the man, in the man and the monster both. He has respect for Bruce, both his smarts and his control—this is Tony Stark, genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist, who’s never been able to control himself, lived half his life in a self-destructive spiral—in a lot of ways, Tony’s monster is much more noble than his man. Tony respects this man and his giant green rage monster, because Tony’s got one, too, and he’s nowhere as good at keeping it inside.

by @intosnarkness

As Little Fuss

Author Summary: Or, the Five Times Tony Stark Threw Money at a Problem, and the Five Times His Team Repaid Him.

At Least I Spelled Your Name Right

Author Summary: Darcy was tired of Jane being in the lab all the time, so she conspired to Go Out and Get Jane Drunk. She did not, however, make any plans regarding the guy in purple spandex. That was someone else's fault. And no one could blame her for the super heroes. She hadn't even been conscious for that part.

bomb shelters under your skin

Author Summary: Clint’s marriage is over, so he takes the assignment no one else will: killing the Black Widow.

Don't Fade On Me

Author Summary: It's hard making new connections, learning to be the person you need to be. Wanda and Natasha aren't the most likely of friends, but they're making it work.

featherstep

Author Summary: Natasha has always heard the voices of the animals around her, but when a bird tells her to trust the strange man pointing an arrow at her head, she does.

Made Somehow

Author Summary: 20 years before Tony Stark was Iron Man, before Steve Rogers was found in the ice or Bruce Banner had his accident, a few men got together and built a little peacekeeping force they called SHIELD. What SHIELD stood for, exactly, was up in the air, as was everything that came next.(A Nick Fury Origin Story)

not words but meanings

Author Summary: James Rhodes loves Tony Stark dearly, and he has to learn to deal with the fact that, while Tony loves him back, Tony has some new friends, and new plans, and they don't always involve Rhodey.This is not Tony/Rhodey; there is Tony/Pepper in the background. This is a friendship-centric fic.

One Single Yesterday

Author Summary: SHIELD tasks Darcy Lewis with educating Steve Rogers about the pop culture of the last three decades. Probably this was a bad idea.

One to Be Trusted

Author Summary: After he lost the battle in Midgard, Loki was taken home in chains. And if the Aesir couldn't heal him with magic, then they would do it with time.

Pop-Tart, or, the Untitled HookerFic Coda

Author Summary: Kate asks Clint if he's ever been in love.

(sleep wake hope and then)

Author Summary: Steve Rogers wants to go back to art school. But more than that, he wants to figure out what his legacy is, and what he's doing here. (It can be read a pre-slash Steve/Tony, but that might be a bit of a stretch.)

Steven Rogers and The Search For Freedom, written and illustrated by Clint Barton, age 32

Author Summary: "Steve Rogers got a cat he named FREEDOM and when it got lost he made all the Avengers drop what they were doing and LOOK FOR FREEDOM so he wouldn’t make woobie faces at them." A story told in pictures and weirdness. Crack.

The Uses of Sorrow

Author Summary: Just as he's beginning to feel like he might belong with these people, Bruce overhears Thor offer to heal Tony.

Yesterday, Upon the Stair

Author Summary: When she was little Natasha had an imaginary friend. But like all little girls, she learned to forget him as she grew up. So imagine her surprise when one day she comes face to face with her old friendAnd he's pointing an arrow at her heart Barton was sent to kill me. he made a different call.

by irnan

and if there’s life we’ll see it

Author Summary: Steve is instantly taken with this idea of having the picture of the person calling you flash on your screen when they ring your cell.

brand new day

Author Summary: Ten things that are different about Bucky and Steve, and one that’s still the same.

come across the desert

Author Summary: Natasha, experiments in friendship.

fellowship

Author Summary: Five short conversations Natasha Romanov has had about her teammates.

may the fourth

Author Summary: So there’s this project Tony has been working on since he was ten years old which is only marginally less awesome than the specs for the TARDIS he totally could have built if Fury would’ve just let him had the Tesseract for a couple hours longer.

project adulthood

Author Summary: “I’ve been thinking,” said Bruce quietly. “The day HQ was attacked. Tony and I were at that R&D meeting we usually skip.” “Yes,” said Steve. “Nat said that.” “Well,” said Bruce. “Usually, on a Friday, when we skip the R&D meeting, we arrive at HQ around the time that bomb went off.”

run to the sea

Author Summary: They’re wound together in a spider’s web of coincidence and chance meetings, of work passed on and friends in common.

safe

Author Summary: Bruce learns to shoot, Tony is Tony, and Steve continues to number "protecting the people he (loves) cares about" among his greatest talents.

scarring

Author Summary: Steve doesn't scar. It's a serum thing: his skin heals perfect, every time.This means he doesn't get callouses, either. Upon occasion, that can be... painful.

use somebody

Author Summary: Will you work with Tony Stark? asks Coulson. He’s an alcoholic, he’s unstable, he’s traumatised, God only knows. You’ve read Natasha’s psych report. He’s a pain in my ass, and I don’t like it that I like him. Will you work with him?

write me no more letters

Author Summary: The day Annika Reiter turned thirty-one she shot her mother’s killer in a New York sidestreet not far from Grand Central station and thought of it as a birthday present to herself.

by @janetsvandyne

Cranberry

Author Summary: From age twelve to age seventeen, Darcy Lewis and her mother would spend her birthday together, just the two of them, and go out for ‘mother daughter days.’ The single stipulation? Darcy always got to buy a tube of lipstick. 12 years later, Darcy mentioned to Jane that she hasn’t worn or purchased lipstick in seven years.Written for the "Lipstick" prompt for Darcy Lewis Fic Week, day 1.

If you believe in me, I'll still believe

Author Summary: Six weeks after what she fondly refers to as 'The Pop-Tart Eating Alien Incident,' Jane comes to Darcy bad news. Not just regular bad news, but the "oh fuck, now what the fuck do I fucking do" kind of bad news that you usually only hear about in movies or books about women who triumph despite the odds being stacked innumerably against them. Hell, this is like "Harry, you need to face Voldemort, but you can't have a wand or anything" kind of bad.

by jumpfall

come on friends, get up now

Author Summary: It won't be easy and it won't be pretty, they don't say. You're going to hurt faster than you heal and lose more than you win. The Avengers have one thing in common. They all sign on. [Movie spoilers.]

i was born to make amends

Author Summary: "Mr. Stark, I just wanted to congratulate you on the excellent work you've been doing with the Yinsen Foundation."

Tapdancing on Tightropes

Author Summary: Either way, Steve's secured the upcoming long weekend for a team barbeque. He hadn't phrased it quite that way, but Tony knows better. Barton's still trying to redeem himself, Natasha goes for her holster when Bruce's voice rises, Bruce apologizes to every building he passes, Steve's had exactly one conversation with SHIELD since the battle, and Thor's dicked off to Asgard.A solid cheeseburger makes lots of things better. (It did for him, at least.)

by kerravon

Burning Candles

Author Summary: For an Avengerkink Prompt A few months have passed since the Avengers fought the Chitauri, and the team is coming together, except for Tony, who seems to be coming apart. At first, Steve assumes that he’s just being irresponsible and annoying, but then JARVIS clues him in.

by @kellifer-k

Frankie Says Relax

Author Summary: Where Darcy gets a day job.

by @laporcupina

Asunder

Author Summary: Natasha chooses her side in the Civil War as pragmatically as ever, with her eyes on the long game. Clint has no such luxury because the stakes are too high for there to be any choice at all.

Blues in the Groove

Author Summary: Bucky Barnes is in from the cold and ready to take the first steps toward resuming his life. He has all of his memories, but Steve isn't the only Avenger eager to have someone around who remembers their past.A tale in which there are embarrassing Captain America stories, occasional realizations, swing-dancing SHIELD commanders, missions gone awry, culinary adventures, uncomfortable revelations, trips to Queens, bromances, romances, repeated threats of arson, and the couch is a metaphor.

BOHICA

Author Summary: Clint Barton, in transition.

CA:TWS missing scenes

Author Summary:

1) CA:TWS missing scene: Maria Hill & Nick Fury 2) CA:TWS post-movie scene: Natasha in flight 3) CA:TWS sorta-missing scene: Where in the world is Tony Stark? 4) CA:TWS sorta post-movie scene: Tony (and Rhodey) and the possible ghost of James Barnes. 5) CA:TWS sorta-missing scene: Where in the world is Clint Barton?

Creation Myth

Author Summary: Smoke, mirrors, and the true birth of the Howling Commandos.

Cum Laude

Author Summary: Steve navigates the sometimes choppy seas of being a celebrity in the twenty-first century and finds the time (and the courage) to fulfill a twentieth century promise and return to school.

Escape Velocity

Author Summary: In which Sam gets his wings, Steve trades on the legacy of Captain America, Natasha dusts off an old outfit, and the utter insanity that is government bureaucracy ends up saving the day despite itself.

Excerpts from Interview #2 with SHIELD prisoner #2935734H

Author Summary: Session note: The prisoner has revealed that he was part of the 'asset management team' controlling the HYDRA operator known as the Winter Soldier [possibly SGT J. B. Barnes, US Army, MIA 5 September 1944, declared KIA 12 December 1944]. Further questioning suggested after follow-ups on provided information complete.[Clearance: TOP SECRET/SI-MORAY 5342/HCS-7766/NO TRANSMIT]

Fermata

Author Summary: Natasha Romanova and Nick Fury: two wounded warriors and their wars, past and present.

Freezer Burn Series

Author Summary: Steve Rogers: soldier, artist, foodie, friend, heart of the Avengers, and a guy whose past keeps creeping into his present and dictating his future. A series of stories about him and the people he has chosen to build his life around. A comics-MCU mashup that is MCU-compliant through all of the Phase One movies then gets a little Brubakerish because the alternative was to get a lot Jossed. All stories can be read independently of the others. You’ll miss a few references but lose nothing of the plots.

Inherited Characteristics

Author Summary: It’s 1986, the Sox are going to the World Series, and sixteen-year-old Tony Stark has just gotten himself arrested for trying to sell nukes to the bad guys.

Lacuna

Author Summary: The five stages of grief are meaningless in the moment.

Landsmen

Author Summary: Project Rebirth existed before Steve came into the picture. And the soundtrack for it was mostly in Yiddish.

MCU Meta: the directory

Author Summary: Bits of meta, mostly about Captain America and HYDRA, previously posted in other forums but now collected here.

1) Steve is blushing, but no virgin.

2) The military record of Sergeant James 'Bucky' Barnes.

3) The Winter Soldier probably didn't kill the Starks. 4) HYDRA: the ultimate rebranding 5) There's a significant time gap between Bucky Barnes's death and Steve Rogers's. 6) RMA and the MCU: a blasterless history 7) Sam Wilson and the RL requirements for being a USAF pararescueman 8) Civil War speculative meta: the magic bullet 9) Much more than Steve's height and weight is public knowledge.

MCU: The odds and ends drawer

Author Summary: A collection of very short works that don’t merit separate entries.Captain Marvel in the MCU, kindasorta Civil War, kindasorta Leverage/MCU crossover start

Powerful

Author Summary: Steve loses the advantages of the super-soldier serum. This is not a tragedy.

Preserved Series

Author Summary: After the rescue of the 107th, Steve Rogers cashes in all of his favors and makes what deals he can to get Bucky a medical discharge from the Army, sending him home to Brooklyn and far from enemies and curious scientists both. But Steve’s war goes on until it ends badly, in an exploding plane over the Black Sea. Captain America is presumed dead, his shield recovered and returned to a grieving America while his body remains undiscovered. Seven years later, a new danger is threatening to unbalance the already-roiling Cold War, a Soviet assassin let loose from behind the Iron Curtain. Peggy Carter isn’t sure she wants to believe that the assassin is a super-soldier because of what it could mean, but she does know that whoever it is, she’ll have to break her promise to keep Bucky Barnes far from danger.

Recursive Series

Author Summary: In the wake of the HYDRA revelations, Steve Rogers finds himself both a pawn of the rebuilding SHIELD hierarchy and the leader of a newly-independent Avengers. He’s got masters he can’t run from, teammates he can’t let down, and a best friend who is turning his newly remembered past to ashes. But when a blast from a mysterious device seemingly sends him back to 1944, Steve has to decide if he should he change his past and risk ruining his future by fixing his greatest mistake.

Regret to Inform

Author Summary: Steve and the Barneses, his family according to his heart and the official documents of the United States Army.

Remedial

Author Summary: re·me·di·al adjective 1. affording remedy; tending to remedy something. 2. intended to correct or improve one's skill in a specified field: remedial math.Steve always knew Bucky was a quick study, so his progress after he comes in from the cold is a 'when' and not an 'if.' The Avengers are a help, except when they're not. But even when they're not, they sort of are.

Renovation

Author Summary: In which Wanda uses her powers for good and Bucky starts sorting through his past, both metaphorically and kinda literally.

Reprise

Author Summary: Nick showed up at nine and Peggy knew it was bad news because he showed up without dessert. (Sometimes the secrets kept between spymasters was that one of them had a sweet tooth and it wasn't her.) She still made tea because, despite more than sixty years in America, the British approach to trouble was still her default."We've found Captain Rogers."

Resonance

Author Summary: Tony's reasons for helping Bucky Barnes can be entirely attributable to general do-gooderism and a love of science. (Because he really, really hates it when people rub his personal growth in his face.)

Sleepers of Ephesus

Author Summary: Peggy Carter and Bucky Barnes, soldiers always.

The Velveteen Spider

Author Summary: Natasha Romanova thinks that accepting Nick Fury's offer to join SHIELD is the end of her old life and the beginning of her new one. In hindsight, she had no idea of what that really meant.

Tribe

Author Summary: He gestured to the room around him. “We build a community in rooms like this so that there is a place to talk and a place to listen and a place to heal. So that we can be reminded that we’re not broken, just a little different. That we went through a trauma and it will get better. And so that we know that we’re not alone. That is why I suggested you come hang out.”

True Faith and Allegiance

Author Summary: "Are you ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?" means something else in the Twenty-First Century. Bucky Barnes has the same answer. Sam Wilson, former Avenger and current fugitive, appreciates that on many levels, including the ones he's sure he's missing.

We Were Soldiers

Author Summary: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, the planning of a pre-D-Day mission, and the cost of a salute.

by @legete

Optional

Author Summary: In one's home, clothes are optional. Housemates, however, may disagree.

by @leupagus

For These I Watch Tonight

Author Summary: This is not a story about a cow.

by lilsmartass

Cupid Stark

Author Summary: For this prompt on the kinkmeme: Clint/Natasha Tony is slightly horrified the two assassins aren't banging, so he makes it his business to set them up, because living with two such attractive assassins that aren't having sex is downright sinful. They are his Barbie and Action Man dolls to smush together and make kissy noises with, dammit! Clint and Natasha are equal parts embarrassed and amused by all of this, and decide to play up to it for Tony's sake. Shenanigans ensue..

First Impressions and Second Chances Series

Author Summary: The Avengers are over protective of one another, we all know that. But when misunderstandings lead to flawed beliefs of who a person is, and when others are judged for misguided actions carried out without thinking, it’s hard to know who to protect and defend.

Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself

Author Summary: Everyone’s afraid of something. Five times Natasha saved the Avengers from spiders and one time they saved her.

With A Whimper

Author Summary: Summary: Written for my Avengers fest challenge/prompt/assignment/thingy for sadness1986; angst, reads like hurt/comfort but the comfort part is the hurt, dark, pre Iron Man, Obadiah Stane works his way into Tony’s life.

by @lithiumdoll

Culture and Other Balls of Twine

Author Summary: “Okay, I realize this could appear to be poorly conceived - to those of limited vision - but what you have to understand is, I’ve actually just had the greatest, most outstanding idea ever.” Tony’s eyes searched heavenward and then he nodded soberly. “Yes, I believe history will consider this my triumph.”

by Lunik

Bro-hood and Other Drugs

Author Summary: Plenty of people get themselves blackout drunk and wake up with an unexpected husband. It’s embarrassing but it happens. Natasha is trying to figure out how she could have woken up with an unexpected brother

Loki's Brood

Author Summary: Nick Fury circles the realm Midgard with his coils. Phil Coulson has seen enough of chains for one lifetime. Darcy Lewis is taking a break from Helheim. But there's still the matter of their brother Sleipnir...

The Boy Who Waited

Author Summary: In a world without stars, the Last Centurion loses the Pandorica, loses his charge and loses his mind.SHIELD takes a chance on hiring a mysterious amnesiac man, and Agent Coulson finds that Rory Williams is the best damn secretary he's ever had.

The legend of Mittens

Author Summary: The story of how an abandoned kitten in an alleyway derailed an impending alien invasion and changed the course of the Midgard-Chitauri war. And looked damn cute doing it.Also, the story of Nick Fury's Worst Headache Ever (tm).

Trickster, trickster

Author Summary: It is important, for tricksters more than most, to have a group of like minded people around to understand us at our worst. And to catch us when we fall.

by Marcus Rowland

Five Mistakes Loki Made (and One Time He Got Things Right)

Author Summary: Uatu, the Watcher, takes a look at Loki's invasion, and wonders what else might have happened.What If... Loki had done things differently. Five more ways things could have gone wrong, and one he might have succeeded. Avengers / multiple crossovers. All characters belong to their respective creators, there is no intent to infringe copyright.Seven hundred-word Drabbles, multiple crossovers.

Hammer Time

Author Summary: When the going gets tough, the tough get hammering. 100-word Buffy / Avengers / Galaxy Quest crossover Drabble.

Mandatory Evaluation

Author Summary: Natasha needs to drop off a few files; she isn't expecting to have to sing for her supper...This is set in the early stages of Iron Man 2, after Pepper Potts becomes CEO of Stark Industries but before the trip to Monaco, well after the last episode of Angel, at no particular point in NCIS LA continuity.

Who Are You Gonna Call?

Author Summary: Death isn't necessarily the end of the story. Total crack-fic for The Avengers 2012, Avengers / Ghostbusters / Multiple crossover, warning - canon death and bad language. Now with director's commentary!

by @mhalachai

A Widow's Tale

Author Summary: Their secrets have secrets. Steve's starting to figure this out.

After The Gloaming

Author Summary: Given the very long, very bad day she’s just had, Pepper isn’t sure how much longer she’s going to be able to hold it together.

Hel’s Bones

Author Summary: Magic pulled Frigga back from the realm of the dead, but not even Loki’s children can shield her from the consequences of long-ago actions coming back to haunt her.

by @nicasiosilang

awake in the dark

Author Summary: Loki, small and sharp, singular, Loki knew.

Coronation

Author Summary: Frigg holds the needle and thread high for the court to see. Golden light hits it and flashes hot white into her eyes. The assembled throw up a cheer. They are family. They raised this creature too.

Posthuman

Author Summary: Do you intend for the Iron Man to feed the hungry? End war and disease? Eliminate social inequality and poverty?" The guy smiles like he's just been very funny. Tony leans forward, elbows on his knees.

"I do. I sincerely do."

The devil riding your back

Author Summary: There's something in his chest.

Transhuman

Author Summary: This is something he needed to do. The process is an end. Every second wasted, life or minute lost to inefficiency, the process will take them back. Vaguely follows the story Posthuman. An attempt at putting the Extremis process into Marvel's movieverse.

by @nonasuch

the hip and the dead

Author Summary: When she asks about the other tenants in the building, the realtor just throws up his hands and says, “Look, I don’t know. They’re artsy types, if they live around here. You know. Hipsters.”

The Personal (Assistant) Is Political

Author Summary: “That’s an awfully tall pedestal to put a fellow on,” Steve says. “Betcha it gets pretty windy up there.”

Sentimental Value

Author Summary: Saturday dawned clear and bright, hot but not humid enough to be sticky: perfect yard sale weather.

by @nwhepcat

Avengers vs. Worst. Christmas. Ever.

Author Summary: Clint is having a rough time this Christmas. Turns out, he's not the only one.

Five Awkward Conversations Involving Steve Rogers

Author Summary: Conversations in this century were like the traffic in Midtown: fast and nerve-wracking and potentially deadly. (Takes place between Steve’s awakening and a few months beyond “The Avengers.”)

The New Yorkers' Guide to Beating Back the Big Fucking Evil

Author Summary: Two days after Coulson's memorial, Clint isn't doing so well. Rating for language, but you probably figured that one out. Title inspired by Adam Gnade's The Do-It-Yourself Guide to Fighting the Big Motherfuckin' Sad (Pioneers Press), which is a thoroughly awesome thing.

Reanimation of the Corpse Soldier

Author Summary: Barnes finds a kindred spirit in the most unexpected place. So. This is headcanon that manifested shortly after I finished the fabulous Imperial Radch series by Ann Leckie. This isn't a crossover with characters from her trilogy, but a story about Bucky reading the novels.You don't need to have read the series to understand the story. There aren't really spoilers for the books, either. Some references may seem spoilery, but due to the narrative structure of Ancillary Justice (the first book), these things are revealed very early on.Warnings for after effects of mind wipe and mind control, memory loss, emotional fallout, PTSD, nightmares.And finally, many thanks to my betas, herself_nyc and oracne.

Serenade

Author Summary: Bucky sings a little song.

by @nwhepcat and @fieldtoolarge

But the Sea Does Not Change

Author Summary: The Winter Soldier goes to the Smithsonian to search for something of the man who would save an enemy. This is not the only thing he finds.

by @pepperpottsblogs

Darcy Lewis: VP of the Bucky Barnes Defense Squad

Author Summary: In which Darcy uses her considerable research skills to take care of the Avengers, help take down Hydra, and successfully bring in the Winter Soldier--with JARVIS's help, of course.

Repose

Author Summary: "Although Darcy wasn’t actually part cat, most of the Tower’s residents were well aware that she was prone to napping anywhere at any time, especially in the warm patches of sunlight from the Tower’s many windows. Anyone who shared a couch with Darcy on movie nights knew that she would fall asleep with her head on their shoulder or lap."Or--Darcy is notorious for falling asleep on her friends.

by @perclexed

Not More Fucking Elves

Author Summary: The Nine Realms may converge for the first time in five thousand years, but it’s not the only important thing happening that day in Greenwich.Robbie Lewis thinks this is probably not what Tolkien had in mind. But it bloody well might be.See end for additional notes, warnings, and a link to a Lewis overview if you are not familiar with the fandom.

by pollyrepeat

225 days under grass

Author Summary: After Loki, Coulson wears his suits like armour.

Dear Clint Barton (circa age 7)

Author Summary: The most annoying parts of being de-aged (and then re-aged) are your friends.

Early Years AU

Author Summary: “Barton has clearly imprinted on you,” Fury starts, and keeps talking right over Phil’s knee-jerk, horrified, “He has not,” to seal Phil’s doom by saying, “so I’ve decided that you’re going to take primary responsibility for him from now on.”“Oh, god,” Phil says, faintly, before he can stop himself.// Otherwise known as, SHIELD: The Early Years.

He hit the heights at breakneck speed

Author Summary: In which Natasha gives the thumbs-up to Tony Stark and the Iron Man suit, the Avengers Initiative starts a little differently, and Tony finds himself spending a lot of time with assassins and/or spies.[Note for users with spotty internet: there is a large-ish sfw image at the beginning.]

hey, remember that time when

Author Summary: In which Cap makes new friends, becomes an accidental Internet troll, swaps a lot of stories, and gives Bucky Barnes a hug.

by pollyrepeat & jonesandashes

All destinations approximate

Author Summary: “Jarvis, please refrain from killing me. I’m coming in to look at you.”

well, let the drum beat drop

Author Summary: Pepper leaves, and there’s no more pizza, and Thor’s already talked about Jane, and Tony suspects all of them realize, abruptly and simultaneously, that they actually have no idea what to do now. He is, in fact, pretty certain that they’re just a few minutes away from someone deciding to say something about the weather. It’s probably going to be him.

by psocoptera

Cooking With Leftovers

Author Summary: Akela Amador, after. Michael Peterson receives some visitors.

Five Secrets Maria Hill Would Like To Pretend She’s Keeping From The Rest Of SHIELD

Author Summary: Fury is a lying liar, Coulson is a good coworker, except when he’s not, and Maria never meant to work for SHIELD. Maria/Helicarrier or possibly slightly Maria/Natasha if you squint. Spoilers for the movie. Movieverse only, I have no knowledge of the comics.

Five SHIELD Agents Who Don't Look For New Jobs

Author Summary: Not everyone needs or wants new employment.

by @quigonejinn

Accountable

Author Summary: This universe branches late in the game. Tony Stark and the universe where he builds the Iron Man Mark II for Jim.

Flight.

Author Summary: When Tony Stark is five years old, he rides on a helicopter for the first time.

Genius

Author Summary: Tony Stark isn't the only genius on the ground.

Morning

Author Summary: Go back a little: the girl and Obadiah and Tony are in the elevator, and the girl is, as expected, all over Obadiah.

Parents

Author Summary: Tony Stark and dreams of parent-type figures.

Rescue

Author Summary: Steve Rogers has asked, six or seven or eighteen hundred times, for Bucky Barnes to stop coming to his rescue like that.

Six Universes

Author Summary: Six stories about Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Six universes where Steve Rogers went into an orphanage

The Good Stuff

Author Summary: "This is where I get out," he says.

Three Facts About Tony Stark and Politics (and One About Women)

Author Summary: Fact 0: Tony Stark did not vote for Obama.

Twenty-Four

Author Summary: Cold War Peggy, Steve, and Bucky in all kinds of combinations, present and not present.

Two things that happened and one that didn't: Coulson and Romanov

Author Summary: Here is the thing that didn't happen: Pepper is in a place that looks, for all the world, like the lobby of a small, not-too-fancy government agency that handles something obscure and really boring and involving a lot of paperwork.

by @rageprufrock

Howling Commandos HQ

Author Summary: To: PC ([email protected]) From: Buck ([email protected]) Subject: Report! Date: May 10, 2012Phil — where the hell are you, man? Let us know if you're all right, or if there's anything we can do to help. HQ's freaking the fuck out.

by @rainnecassidy

Balefire

Author Summary: Joey was an ordinary, if overworked, grad student doing her schoolwork and raising her nephew. It wasn’t her fault Captain America moved in upstairs. And it definitely wasn’t her fault when she accidentally started feeding burritos and tres leches to the guy called James who started staying in that apartment while Cap was away. So okay, maybe it WAS her fault when she started throwing fire at the military guys who came after him. James was a nice guy, after all, and a vet; he didn’t need this crap.

I Get By, I Get High

Author Summary: Just a growing bond between a girl and her favorite AI. Er, android.

The Secret Life of Darcy Lewis

Author Summary: Everybody needs a little time out of their regular reality once in awhile. (Inspired by The Secret Life of Walter Mitty by James Thurber.)

Turncoat

Author Summary: Clint gets a mission he just can't complete.

by @roboticonography & @blackestglass

Object Permanence

Author Summary: Steve's sudden interest in tattoos is actually not all that sudden.[Podfic AND story text within!]

Worthy Is In The Heart Of The Wielder

Author Summary: The knowledge of when to lay power aside is as important as the knowledge of when to take it up.

by @rowantreewrites

Calling of the Stars

Author Summary: After the Battle of New York, as they'd been calling it, Tony Stark was not doing ok. His time on the other side of the portal haunted him, shadowed his steps and crept into his nightmares, even with the team around to pull him out of his own head. So, when he wakes up in an abandoned space station holding a strange silver sphere and no memory of how he got there, possibly hundreds of lightyears away from earth, he is not happy.

Free Your Soul, Pay The Toll

Author Summary: The price of killing a loved one is a Horcrux, an object filled with half a soul. They are not the road to immortality, and they are not a gift. Tony Stark has three.

Infinity Stones are Powerful

Author Summary: Manhattan is different now.

Little Boy (Inside My Chest)

Author Summary: Curious, Tony stopped, tipped his head, as Fury keyed in a password to the computer. Fury nodded to the monitor, and Tony nearly dropped the suitcase. “Holy mother of Tesla someone fucking cloned me.” He said, stepped forwards, squinted at the screen as his gut protested the fact that he was watching himself sit on a bed in a standard-issue SHIELD dorm room, younger and clean-shaven and wearing what Tony knew had been one of the spare shirts he kept on the base just in case, except it was at least a size too big, and damn, had he really been that skinny when he was a kid? He’s gotten mad at anyone, mostly Rhodey’s mom, who suggested that he eat more, put some meat on his bones, but if this is what he’d looked like?Well. That was one hell of something to deal with at two in the morning.

Maria's Legacy

Author Summary: Tony had a small family. That was accepted as fact, and most people didint even count half the people who were in it. But, what if that was wrong?

Memory (Is a Vital Process)

Author Summary: Death: The permanent ending of one or more vital processes.AKA the angsty as all hell amnesia fic that absolutely no one asked for. Enjoy.

(Not So) Immortal

Author Summary: An impossible situation. A horrible choice. A sacrifice that must be made, one way or another."What he saw nearly stopped his breath cold in his chest, because there was Tony, sitting slumped and unconscious against the biggest bomb he’d ever seen, as supervillains, some old enemies and some Steve had only ever heard of, Loki, and MODOK at the forefront, stood across the room, while Doom himself stood right next to Tony."

Star!Tony

Author Summary: A collection of fics in the Star!Tony universe. Not canon-compliant past The Avengers (2012).

Starry Skies and Rhubarb Pies

Author Summary: Or, In which Tony Stark is dead, and he’s happy that way.

You don't need wings to fly (you need a whole lot more)

Author Summary: My take on wingfic, more specifically, how something like the arc reactor would affect a winged human's ability to fly.

by sabinelagrande

All That You Know

Author Summary: After Loki's gone, the cracks begin to show.

Humane

Author Summary: It was supposed to be better for him.MAJOR SPOILERS for the film.

by sabinelagrande & @erindizmo

[Podfic] The Adventures of Captain America and Phil, by Phil Coulson, Age 7 (The Read-Along With Me! Version)

Author Summary: A gripping tale of action, adventure, and tremendous bravery, available for the first time as a read-along book!

by sanura

Thor’s Epic

Author Summary: This is a retelling of the story of The Avengers from Thor’s POV, in iambic pentameter. I know. It’s Sam’s fault. Well. I meant to start at the battle, since that’s all that Thor told at the dinner table in Copperbadge’s Exclusive, but the two lines he gave there, the first two lines, implied Thor started from the beginning. So I started from those two lines (tweaked slightly to fall into pentameter scansion), and went to the end of The Avengers.

Thor's Second Epic, or: Grocery Run

Author Summary: 500 lines of iambic pentameter in which Thor goes to the grocery store. I don't know. Blame Sam.

by @sarcasticfina

Darcy Stark

Author Summary: Tony might not have been playing a direct role in his daughter's life, but he always looked out for her.

daughter dearest

Author Summary: A collection of short stories involving Darcy as the daughter of an Avenger.

I was late (but I arrived)

Author Summary: As far as complicated goes, Darcy’s life takes a sharp turn down a road called ‘completely fucked.’

we’ll never die (we’re like diamonds in the sky)

Author Summary: As opposites go, sickly, skinny Jane Foster and snarky bombshell Darcy Lewis are at the top of the list. But when Darcy saves Jane from a bully, they find common ground and are fused at the hip ever since. Together, they take on the world, until war comes knocking and they answer. [AU where Jane becomes Captain America, and Darcy becomes the Winter Soldier]Based on this prompt.

you can't play (on broken strings)

Author Summary: Once upon a time, she was a fully operational human being. Or as close to one as she has ever gotten.

by @scifigrl47

Far Better Things Ahead

Author Summary: IM3 SPOILERS!My Bot Oriented post-IM3 fic

by screamlet

aunt’s aren’t gentleman

Author Summary: “First things first,” Tony says. “I loved A Knight’s Tale.“

The Annual Stark Family Fourth of July Celebration

Author Summary: The Stark family does the Fourth of July. (Or: Tony grows up by Fourths.)

by @shu-of-the-wind

frost and fire

Author Summary: Bader spends most of his time curled up by her feet while Peggy's at her desk, because she knows it makes the men uncomfortable to see him. He’s larger than most grey wolves, and the long scar along his cheek makes him look more risky, somehow. People still persist in calling him a dog—if they talk about him at all—but they can’t escape the fact that her daemon is more bruised and battered and just plain dangerous than the rest of them combined.

we know the words (but it's not enough)

Author Summary: "Apparently," Jack says, his head pounding, "they've imprinted. Like baby ducks.""Children do that," says Father Lantom. "Or so I'm told."[Or, Darcy gets dragged to New York by her mother before she even hits kindergarten, and things both change and stay the same. Really, Matt's just happy there's someone his age who gets excited about words like sesquipedalian.]

by silvernatasha

The Cupbearer

Author Summary: Clint Barton, son of Apollo, is pretty sure he's too old for demigod quests. Even small ones.

by @sunspill

gunshot residue

Author Summary: Natasha is a badass even when shot. Teamfic gen.Written for the meme.

kahua pa'ani

Author Summary: When Pepper is twelve she tries on her mother's shoes.

slap down back around

Author Summary: Written for the meme. Prompt: attempted suicide and hc with the dialogue "exhaustion is the new suicide?" Bruce&Natasha gen.TRIGGER WARNING: repeated attempted suicide, depression

tethers

Author Summary: Kinkmeme Prompt:Tony is convinced that he is still being tortured, dying in a cave in Afghanistan. He is sure that everything that has happened since then is just one big delusion his mind has created so that he doesn't have to deal with reality. Iron Man, the Avengers, Super soldiers and demi gods and genius, gentle scientists who turn into giant green rage monsters. All seems pretty improbable to Tony. Just the sort of thing that a broken mind would come up with.

by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel

Angel Adrift

Author Summary: Darcy Lewis finds a giant tree in the New Mexico desert, and discovers that she is the archangel Michael.(Crossover between Marvel films and Supernatural.)

Do-Over Series

Author Summary: Loki Odinsson died in a tragic accident. Darcy Lewis was born several centuries later. These two facts are not unrelated. (Or, how Loki was reincarnated as a badass poli-sci student who was interning at the right place at the right time.)

Driven Bananas

Author Summary: It's 2012, everyone Steve knows is dead, and all the bananas are gone.

Father Figures

Author Summary: Heimdall would never have brought a Jotunn child into Asgard to be raised as his own son, but if he had, he would have done a far better job of it than the Allfather. Or the one where Heimdall becomes Loki's substitute father figure in the face of Odin's A+ parenting.

Four Christmases

Author Summary: Twelve year old Darcy Lewis doesn't believe in a lot of things. Santa Claus is one of them. She might believe in the strange green-eyed man who claims to be her father, though.

leave the sinking ship behind

Author Summary: He wakes when the cryostasis system fails, defrosting slowly in an underground bunker running on emergency power. There is still frost on his eyelashes when he wakes, shivering and disoriented, and his skin is icy cold.[Spoilers for Captain America: Winter Soldier]

Legacies

Author Summary: "So why’d Zola’s serum work on you, anyway?”“Because I’m part-vampire,” Bucky said with a straight face.

Loki, Lilo & Stitch

Author Summary: Loki falls from the Bifrost, and lands in Lilo's garden. Chaos ensues.

Not Quite Fraternisation (The Longest Cold War)

Author Summary: Her name isn’t really Darcy, of course: her true name is something much older and a damn lot more powerful.Norse gods weren't the only supernatural beings in New Mexico when Thor was there.

Of Time Lords and Magic

Author Summary: The thing was, there was a war.Darcy’s not too sure of the details – she was only tiny at the time – but she remembers that it was a war her people were losing. She can still vaguely remember the thunder of active weaponry, the anxious, frightened way that everyone went about their business, and the hushed conversations that took place when her parents thought she was asleep.Darcy was only a small child when her parents left her in another universe, on another planet, and told her that they would come back for her when it was safe.They never came back.

Red in tooth and claw

Author Summary: Were-velociraptors and a BAMF Maria Hill.

Secret Agent Man

Author Summary: It started off as Sitwell’s idea of a joke.

TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel's Asexuality Fics

Author Summary: This is a collection of all my fics that deal with asexuality, asexual characters, or asexual relationships.

Take It Off

Author Summary: Tony used to think that the 1940s were repressed. Steve’s repertoire of racy songs makes him reconsider.

This Is How We Roll

Author Summary: Darcy and Tony were half-siblings, which was why they were spending so much time together. Unfortunately, the other Avengers were not aware of that fact, which was probably why they assumed that Darcy and Tony were having an affair.

Wayward Son of the Nightside

Author Summary: The signs were all there, if anyone had simply noticed.

by teand

It's No Way to Make a Living

Author Summary: "...who had turn into animal totem in the next time we get hit by magic pool?"

by @themonkeycabal

Run ‘Verse

Author Summary: Darcy’s not quite sure what she’ll do with another dad.

by theorytale

Fight or Flyte

Author Summary: From a prompt at norsekink: Give me Loki seeking Tony out during battles just to finally have someone worthwhile to banter/flyte with.Which is all well and good until Tony breaks his arm.

The Several Heirs of Loki Odinson, Prince of the Realm of Asgard

Author Summary: Prompt: Loki's greatest con is passing off random monsters as members of the royal family. The reason Odin keeps banishing them is because he's totally on to him.It starts, as it so often does, as a harmless prank, but it rapidly takes on a life of its own.

by @tielan

And Baby Makes Eight

Author Summary: The curious tale of how the Avengers adopted Maria Hill and her daughter.

A Question Of Loyalty

Author Summary: Who is Maria Hill loyal to? (The answer is worth fifteen years, and takes some time to explain.)

Care And Feeding Of Your SHIELD Agent

Author Summary: Operation 'Feed Hill' is a go. Or the relationship between Maria Hill and food, with regards to the Avengers Initiative.

Fine Distinctions

Author Summary: They're not normal; they're SHIELD. A friendship spanning ten years, of growth and outgrowing, of unexpected twists and turns and dark horses, and of industrial building parts.

Give A Girl A Moment And She'll Take You For All You've Got

Author Summary: Coulson had once made the observation that Darcy Lewis’ ability to beg, bribe, or bully people into her plans was almost a superpower in and of itself.Considering she was walking down a tattered Tribeca street with four women she either barely knew or didn’t socialise with for drinks on a Friday night, Maria could well believe it.

Hidden In Plain Sight

Author Summary: Nobody notices a woman who walks one step behind a man.

Keep Calm And...

Author Summary: In the wake of chaos and war, someone has to re-establish normality.Women's work is never glamourous.

Known By Its Flight

Author Summary: SHIELD does not make weapons of its women – or, as Barton has observed with greater accuracy, SHIELD does not make weapons like Natasha out of their women. That doesn't mean a woman can't choose to make a weapon of herself.

Necessity (The Lion Taming Remix)

Author Summary: Five times Maria Hill had to deal with naked Avengers, and one time the Avengers had to deal with a naked Maria Hill.

Paid In Advance

Author Summary: Maria signed up to work for Stark Industries without ever asking about her salary.

There Is No In-Between (the Fight The Good Fight remix)

Author Summary: We’d rather have you with us, than against us, Peggy Carter told her after Madripoor. At the time, Maria thought it foolish flattery – appreciated it, sure, but it was a sweetener, not the truth. Then again, she’s now Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D, so it seems the former Director was right.

by @twistedingenue

you have not seen everything

Author Summary: Tony gets a second chance to watch his daughter grow up, at least temporarily.

by @unpretty

Magical Girl Avengers

Author Summary: this is hella old you guys why are you still reading it please have mercy on my weary soul ｡：ﾟ(｡ﾉω＼｡)ﾟ･｡

by @veliseraptor

Life In Reverse

Author Summary: Home is where you make it. Or, the AU where Loki falls to Earth after Thor, wanders around trying to work out what to do with himself, and somehow ends up working for SHIELD. (Mostly because supervillains are so plebian.)

The Villain Wrangler

Author Summary: The Make-a-Wish Foundation expects requests from kids to meet their favorite superhero. This might be the first one from a kid who wants to meet a supervillain.

by @vmohlere

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail

Author Summary: The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect

by @waldorph

only cute until...

Author Summary: The Avengers have been de-aged. Phil's not really sure how this is his life.

Rahmbo

Author Summary: Sometimes they forget: she’s a political science major.

You Can Hear It In the Silence

Author Summary: When CAPTAIN AMERICA walks into the precinct, Jake staples his finger and doesn't realize it for like, six hours. He can only be happy that Scully and Hitchcock leave every day they can at 4:48pm so that they couldn’t bring shame upon the family.

by @wordsformurder

Anatomy

Author Summary: A dissection of heroes.

day I go to war

Author Summary: "Do you believe in happy endings?""No."

Home

Author Summary: In which Darcy battles hope and normalcy just to get home.(Wishlist, Day 18) For meinongian/vague_positivity, who prompted me with a link to post. The bare bones: imagine a child character pulled into another world, to save that world, Narnia style, only to then be sent 'home', also Narnia style. Only instead of accepting their fate, or being happy to be home, they spend their life trying to find a way back, because that other world, that was home. With Darcy being cast as the main character. (I can't find the link, whoops.)Usually, I hate long A/Ns, but I feel I need to explain this story a little. The prompt is amazing. The concept is brilliant and it deserved pages upon pages of world building, OCs, plot, details, emotional upheaval and payoff. I couldn't deliver that, so I stuck with a glimpse into that world, with a tone and style I hope does Darcy's state justice. I am so sorry I couldn't do more than that.

How to steal the Galaxy

Author Summary: Tumblr prompt: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY AS OUTER-SPACE 'LEVERAGE'

I made myself when I was young

Author Summary: In which neither Peggy nor Susan like the cold.

no spoonful of sugar

Author Summary: I fought the war (but the war won)

Peter Pan

Author Summary: Growing up, coming down, moving on. - Interconnected glimpses.

pockets full of stones

Author Summary: This is a trick.

terms of endearment

Author Summary: In which Bruce is a little confused and Tony is Bambi. Borderline crack.

this is my kingdom come

Author Summary: Martha Jones walks the earth. Loki Odinson... doesn't.

Tony Stark's Collectibles

Author Summary: Someone said 'Friends!AU'. This is the self-indulgent mess that happened next.

Trust Me

Author Summary: It all comes down to trust.(Or: The house always wins. 'The house' being 'Tony Goddamn Stark'.)

we were emergencies

Author Summary: Buffy Summers and Natasha Romanov keep meeting. Eventually, they stop questioning it.

Workaround

Author Summary: In which Tony cooks, Steve watches, JARVIS is... erm, helpful, and Buffy is the other woman. Or something.

by @wordsformurder and @reena-jenkins

Clint's Grand Easter Adventure (Without Eggs)

Author Summary: Natasha Romanov designs the world's worst Easter Egg Hunt.ORWhat else was happening, while Tasha and Bucky were tearing SHIELDRA a new one.

I hated you the least

Author Summary: Reena_Jenkins said: Buffy and Faith as daughters of Thanos. I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

by @xparrot

Majority Rule

Author Summary: Tony learns something that changes his perspective on the Asgardians of his acquaintance.

#mcu fic recs #mcu gen fic recs #mcu genfic recs #mcu

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