#kristen999 writes

[thekristen999]

Still collecting All my Bad Things Happen Bingo Card Entries :) I’m trying for a complete black out. Even if it will take me over a year...lol

Here are the entries thus far for a whumpy Sunday reading. I used the card for inspiration mainly. Some are pretty plot heavy others are just a nice nugget.

Whatever It Takes To Find You  5k   Eddie Begins AU.  Buck is a Pararescue (PJ) specialist sent to rescue the downed chopper.  (Going Into Shock, Distress Call)

The Shape Of Water 9k T.  How water has influenced Buck’s life. Backstory. (Concussion, Bloodstained Clothes)

We're In This Together Now  5k Meth lab fic. (Caught In an Explosion, Barely Conscious, Stumbling and Staggering)

Tick...Tick...Boom    4k. Call gone wrong. (Stabbing)

bro·ken   32K  Forced to take shady side jobs to pay his bills, Evan Buckley doesn’t think he’s ever seen such rock bottom. Until he meets Eddie Diaz, a man even more desperate and alone. Season 3 AU.  (Cry Into Chest, Who Did This To You?)

Follow You Into The Dark- 14K A serial arsonist terrorizes the city, plunging Buck and Eddie into a dangerous game of cat and mouse. (Held at gunpoint)

[thebestbooksaround]

Can you suggest some of your favourite buck breakdown fics?

Ooooo, yes of course!

Tick Tick Boom by ChasetheWindTouchtheSky (@chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky)

30k | Teen

“Did you know if you put a frog in water and slowly bring it to boiling, it won’t hop out?” Chris is chattering as Buck makes a quick dinner while Eddie argues with his gas company on the phone. He can hear the occasional swear word in Spanish as his voice raises. Eddie doesn’t like to raise his voice around Christopher – the very thought makes Buck want to kiss him full on the mouth – so he decided to take it to the living room while Chris sits with his homework in the kitchen and Buck cooks.

“Hmm?” Buck asks, unable to fully pull himself out of Bobby’s baked mac and cheese recipe. It took him years, but he finally convinced the man to write it down. Bobby’s handwriting was juvenile at best on a good day, but this was nearly unreadable. Buck wonders if he did that on purpose. “Frogs?”

“Yeah!” Chris states. “My teacher said that if you put a frog in a pot, you have to make sure it’s not immediately boiling. You put them in water and then slowly raise the temperature and they won’t realize what’s happening. Then once they realize, they have no place to go. They can’t jump out.”

*

S6 Spec: Buck decides he doesn’t need therapy, reverts to some bad habits, and explodes. Or, the Breakdown Fic

__

bro·ken by kristen999 (@thekristen999)

32k | Mature

bro·ken

adjective

1. having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or in working order.

2. having given up all hope; despairing.

Forced to take shady side jobs to pay his bills, Evan Buckley doesn’t think he’s ever seen such rock bottom. Until he meets Eddie Diaz, a man even more desperate and alone. Season 3 AU

__

crashing, i'm crashing right into you by himbobuckley (@bumble-of-the-bee)

6k | Teen

Buck gets an unfortunate call while driving and spirals before getting hit by a drunk driver. Surprise, coma!buck is real and can hear the things people (Eddie and Maddie) say while he's unconscious. Follows the struggles Buck deals with while trying to come back and the ones he has to face if he does.

6.07 spec, so the sperm donor issue is a Thing.

__

shelter my eyes from the sun (and wait for the birds to fly by) by lizzybizzyzzz (@lizzybizzyzzz)

25k | Mature

There’s always been a lingering precedent- Buck was born to save, born to die trying to at the very least. Buck couldn’t save Daniel, could barely save Chris, dragged Eddie across hot pavement under a burning fire truck, couldn't save his sister or his parents from the lifelong heartbreak of losing a child.

Buck was born to save. He’s just not too good at much else.

__

blue skies by spaceprincessem (@spaceprincessem)

36k | Teen

“Most babies are born as accidents,” She says suddenly, like she’s decided that Buck has passed, that she can trust him with this.

Buck doesn’t really have an answer because that question hits way to fucking close to home. A year or so ago he would have said, yes, I was an accident, so I know how that goes, but Buck knows better now. Knows that he would almost give anything for that answer to still be yes. Evie’s finger works under the seal to rip it open, a stack of important looking papers dumping out onto the table in front of her.

“Not me,” she says without looking up as she organizes them into a neat stack, “I was engineered.”

And.

And Buck’s pretty fucking sure a giant, cataclysmic hole has ripped right open, dragging him down to the earth’s core where he vaporizes into dust.

__

a leaf falls on loneliness by iimpossible_things

11k | Not Rated

Buck doesn’t think that if he were to say, “I’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. Really, he doesn’t. The 118 has too many good, kind people for that.

But every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to Eddie or Bobby or Hen or Chim, he hears Eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.”

—you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting—

So each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence

__

this is me trying (at least i'm trying) by screaminghalfpastmidnight (@screaminghalfpastmidnight)

15k | Teen

Buck nods against his pillow, remaining silent before Eddie whispers, “Do I have to be worried about you?”

“No.” Buck mumbles. “I’ll be back at work on Thursday. I just needed a day.”

“Do you promise?” Eddie says, and Buck knows he’s not referring to his comment about work.

“Promise.” You don’t have to be worried about me.

__

burn the straw house down by rarakiplin (@hoediaz)

40k | Mature

“Why the fuck are you even in this loop? This day isn’t about you.”

“Well, I die,” Eddie comments idly, not sounding as offended as he maybe should be. “Haven’t you heard? I’m always dying.”

“That’s not funny.”

Eddie shrugs, not really agreeing or disagreeing. It’s a few seconds before he says, eyes still closed, “Maybe I’m here so you’re not alone.”

-

or, buck gets stuck in time, has a break down and then, relatedly, a break through

[cinematicnomad]

✌️ Congrats again!

thank you!! you're such a sweetheart. as for reccing one of your fics, you HAVE to know i'm gonna rec the first one i read by you that i still love to this day:

we found each other (over there) by kristen999 (10/10 | 46k | T) AU–historical; world war II; hurt/comfort; slow burn; mutual pining; angst w/ a happy ending

a combat medic and a G.I. meet during one of the world's greatest battles. a WWII european theatre based AU.

i'm gonna be honest, i normally avoid historical au's. i don't even read canon time period fics for shows like merlin, bc i fee like so many historical fics are doomed to end unhappily. but this concept intrigued me SO much (and the happy ending tag soothed my worries) that i decided to give it a shot. i remember that i opened the fic and then just...casually left it open in a tab for almost a month before i worked up the nerve to finally bite the figurative bullet. and then i just fucking binged this fic in a single day. it's THAT good. your writing is so vivid and you really capture buck and eddie's characterizations, even in this new setting. i loved everything about it—and the arc of them together after being separated from their unit when eddie gets injured and buck refuses to abandon him as they hide out and try to survive? PERFECTION. those chapters kill me. for anyone who hasn't read this fic, you should get on that IMMEDIATELY bc this fic deserves to be devoured.

✨cinematicnomad’s 5k celebration✨

[ilkkawhat]

All the numbers. (If not all then pick and choose a handful to answer).

lol you’re really going for it anon, huh?? 😂 bless your heart. I’ll do all of them and then idk. if anybody wants to send any again, I’m sure I can have a different answer

(I did just answer 7 & 22 so I’ll leave those out. rest below the cut)

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

I guess if you count all of my active WIPs that have been sitting dormant for months or years, there’s those since I like. I know what I’m doing in pretty much all of them, just as I know what I’m doing in some of my unpublished WIPs, but I think I just need to be in a certain mood/energy to do certain ones (ie, Agony esp is a very heavy fic so I gotta be able to Deal with that)

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

I deleted those 😂😂😂 but some of my reeeeeealllllly old stuff is still out there and I cringe thinking about that and though I could easily delete those too, I’m keeping them just since the harddrive that has the docs for it is corrupted lol

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Just all over the place these days tbh. Even chapter to chapter it’ll change, I’ll write snippets in future chapters--and I’m talking like three or four chapters ahead--just to get it out there. But then there’s other days where I’ll sit and just write and not stop.

4) favorite character you’ve written

Nick Stokes, of course 💜💜💜

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

Any of the Macgyver characters outside of Jack. Cause though I’ll claim not to all the time, I do know that I know the CSI characters (though I’m surprised I’m able to write in their POVs outside of Nick.) I grew up with them. I have a bond with them. The mac characters? I’ve only known for like. two years now and not even that well anymore since I’ve stopped watching the show. 

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

Expanding on details. Almost every fic I write, I’ll read it again later and be like “ah shit I should have run with this idea...” but I guess that’s how I can do a sequel/missing scene

8) favorite genre to write

hurt/comfort (emphasis on the hurt, really I mean we’re talking like borderline horror)

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

See I haven’t really honed in on any one particular thing that inspires me to write. It comes out of nowhere, and the following list of things doesn’t like, always work. When I’m listening to a song. When I’m driving in the car. When I’m watching something unrelated to the source material (totes got some inspiring vibes watching Falcon and The Winter Soldier yesterday tbh lmao) When I dream. When I go on a walk. When people send me asks and I just go the fuck off and suddenly ten chapters later I’m writing a fic that they probably didn’t even want (coughSpecimenStokescough)

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I think the last couple times I’ve like, really written it’s been in silence. Definitely alone. Don’t got people to write around, really lmao (unless you count my parents being in other rooms with obnoxiously loud televisions and tablets)

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

All of it. And I’m sure it’ll keep improving.

12) your weaknesses as an author

Dialogue. I don’t know how people talk 😂

13) your strengths as an author

Detail, description, and I also like to think--emotion? but idk. It’s hard for me to assess my strength tbh

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

Oh YES! At least for the longer WIPs like Last Breath or Agony. And listen to it on a loop when I’m trying to brainstorm or write if I want to write with music on. I’ve been starting to link the playlists when I’m doing with the fic (which is not many so far)

(I think Hellbound is the only one-shot I made a playlist for that I didn’t share)

15) why did you start writing?

I honestly can’t remember, cause I think I’ve been writing stories (fan fiction or not) ever since I was in middle school?? Maybe even elementary? But I do feel like I had gotten more encouragement for it than drawing from the few people in my life that did actively cheer me on, and there’s just something about writing that is so...fulfilling? Esp since I can’t like. Just manifest the images or make the “movie” in my head, at least I can write them down and hopefully convey what I see/feel in my mind through words.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

All my neglected OCs lmao. I did and I guess on some level still do want to make an original series.

In a chilling way Veronica also haunts me cause I realize how much of that like, darkness in myself I put in her. 

And Nick, well, he’s just always on my mind.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Just fucking go for it! Don’t give a shit if anybody will read it or not. Take your time, flesh out those details. Describe what you see, what they see, what they feel. 

If you think you’re going too far...you’re not. 

keep going

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

I mean any fan fiction I read in the past has probably influenced me on some level. I know that when I came back to CSI in 2018, reading all of kristen999′s nick whump def encouraged me cause I was like “oh...there’s others like me who like to see him hurt!?!?” and I do think that maybe sometimes after I read a fic, I might like. Try to incorporate those styles I see. The way words are described, sentences constructed. Not like, copy of course but I feel like a long time ago my writing wasn’t really idk, novel-like? very short, almost read like a script whereas now, since I’ve seen the way people write their stories (some novel length stories, too), I flesh mine out a lot more.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I don’t 😂 Thinking of my bigger projects like Agony, I do just kind make up some of it as I go with a rough outline although sometimes it is a bit more detailed--like First Flight actually has a super detailed outline but I know that once I start writing, something might come up, some twist I didn’t think of before--or even one that somebody suggests to me, but idk I feel like I do have a way of tying everything together regardless? Cause especially with those bigger WIPs I will try to go back and re-read if something seems familiar or if I’ve forgotten a detail, or if I’m planning on diving back into it after a long break from it. 

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Depends. I feel more accomplished with the long sit down sessions so I target that, but lately it’s been little spurts with maybe one big dump at the end of the week.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

Mostly cringe, but there are times I’m like “holy shit this is really good???” 

like I remember recently I re-read Agony and loved it, when I wanted to delete it maybe like. a week before that. I think it honestly depends on my frame of mind, and why I’m going back to read the fic? Cause I’ve had times where I’m like “wait what was this one?” and then I read it and laugh at how bad it is, but then other times where I’m like, “I wanna read that one fic I did...” and then I do and it makes me happy.

But, I will always kinda criticize at the same time--”aw, I could do this better, I could have expanded on this,” etc

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

My life is suuuuuuper boring so. not really lmao. One of my earliest CSI fics that actually created what I consider to be my number one OC (she’d be the lead in that original series I mentioned earlier) came out of me sitting and staring into a campfire lmao. 

also there was this teacher I had (one of those good IRL supports) that told me a story of something that happened to her (or was it her daughter?) and I turned it into a story (back in my teen days) so. I guess there are somethings. 

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Expert? No. But I will do numerous google searches to try and figure some stuff out and get lost in a rabbit hole of “research” for a while and hope that when I do write it, it comes off as I know what I’m doing when really, I do not lol.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

haven’t really written much in this past week, and certainly nothing to be proud of, but this line hit me like a ton of bricks for Specimen Stokes and I’m in love with it:

“Because, my dear specimen, I wanted to see if you loved the danger...or if you loved me.”

[bisexualstokes-archive]

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well! That sucks big time! Get some good rest and keep hydrating! I hope you feel better soon! PS For the fanfiction questions: 12, 23, 28 and 41 please? No rush! Get some sleep, sweetie! 🖇💙

thanks! definitely went to bed early last night, actually got 8 hours of sleep for once! lol (still feel like shit but the good night’s sleep did help)

12. Who is your current OT3?

Hmmm I don’t really have one I guess?? I do value the three-way friendship between Nick/Warrick/Greg and Nick/Sara/Greg, but I don’t think I really have any trio ships right now?

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

I’ll go with one of my finished fics: Half Past Midnight because while writing it I found myself inside of Nick’s head in a way I’ve never been before while writing something about him and also being able to add that little bit of grave danger aftermath at the end was really cool. I’d totally re-write it with more detail in those beginning chapters, but I’m really pleased with how it came out overall!

28.If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

I haven’t gotten to it yet but there’s a scene in the Pancho Problem I would love to see fanart of (spoiler alert it’s a kiss between nick and greg)

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

usually i end up reading fan fics all at once when i read them, unless it’s like twenty chapters, so far there is only one that i started reading (and have to get back to)

The Minstrel Boy by Kristen999 (i’ve actually just been working my way through this author’s csi fics lol) 

[sealie-seolh]

H50 fic: Just staying on the floor

Rating: G? Spoilers: 7.22 Notes: unbeated and Kristen999 promised me Pinot grigio  Disclaimer: writing for fun not for profit.

Steve stared up at the ceiling. It was a very nice ceiling. White-ish, a few girders, and more than a few spiders’ webs. The windows needed a good clean. Why was the sun shining? There were grey clouds at the edges, rolling over the ceiling.

He looked at the insides of his eyelids for a long while. Unconsciousness, not quite, more like a rest as he worked on getting his breath back. He was breathing pretty shallowly, because his ribs hurt like a motherfucker.

 Being shot at close range had a tendency to bruise ones ribs. He cackled inwardly at the mock-BBC announcer’s voice echoing in his head. Concussions were always weird. Punched in the head. Punched in the kidneys. Punched in the face. Half-suffocated. Why were people invested in suffocating him?

 At least this time it hadn’t been water torture.

 That was something.

 He decided to lie on the floor for the rest of his life.

The floor was surprisingly comfortable.  

 Don’t forget the bomb, and the explosion, and the roof – falling off the roof.

 Steve was seriously just staying on the floor.

 Floors were safer.

 “Babe!”

 “Steve?”

 “Steven!”

 The voice sounded concerned, worried, even as Steve was yelled at.

 Oh, Danny.

 Calloused fingers pressed against his jugular.

 “Thank fuck.”

 Oh, he was alive. Good.

 More fingers skirted over his skull pressing carefully, scooping down behind his ears, and gently skimming over the base of his skull. The pressure was kind of relaxing.

 “I need EMTs,” Danny was saying.

 Gentle fingers brushed his eyelashes. Steve kind of expected to see a bright light as his eyelid was peeled back. Nothing. He figured his eyes had rolled back in his head. Probably for the best, he was enjoying just breathing, and the sun was bright.

 Click. Click. Click and click, and the fasteners on his tactical vest were released.

 “Where are my frikkin’ medics? I’m in the warehouse. Jerry give them our coordinates. I know that you have us lojacked.”

 Danny sounded concerned.    

 Perhaps he should acknowledge, react, speak or something? At this precise moment he wasn’t in pain and he liked that space.

 His abdomen was palpitated.

 “Geez, what a bruise,” Danny groused. The touch ghosted over the painful rib, directly over where the round had hit.

 He should possibly wake up before Danny undid his pants.

 “Steve. Steve. For the Love of God--” Danny beseeched. “Wake up, please.”

 Danny was worried.

 Steve twitched and his body woke with him. He hissed a sharp, short breath between his teeth, and out, breathing through the pain. Hands cupped his face.

 “Stay still, Steve. Stay still. Medics are coming. Medics better be damn well coming.”

 Steve opened his eyes. Danny hung above him, eyes impossibly blue in a red, flushed face.

 “There you are,” Danny said, his voice just like he was talking to Charlie. He smiled. “Hey. You were worrying me.”

 Danny looked stressed. But his eyes were bright and clear. There was no blood on his face.

 “Steve, say something,” Danny ordered.

 “Danno.” Steve tasted blood when he smiled.

 “Doofus.”

 “I love you too.”

 “Banana.” Danny pressed his forehead against Steve’s and simply breathed. “Banana.”

 Steve was happy to lie there, under the capable hands of Danny, breathing with him slow and sure.

 “Detective Williams?” a voice shouted.

 Danny lifted away. “Over here. We’re over here!”

 Steve missed his warmth, missed his touch, and missed his presence. He raised his hand, questing. Danny caught his fingers, gripping hard.

 “The medics are here. Behave.” Danny shifted to the side, but kept a hold of his hand and the EMTs descended.

 Fin.

[narkito]

le meme

i was tagged by this rare gem of a person @wilwarindi

▪️last movie I watched: Zero Dark Thirthy (I happen to like war films) ▪️last song I listened to: LCD Soundsystem - All my friends or was it Aqueous Transmission by Incubus? (hmmm, the latter is my alarm that went off unexpectedly today and that is the last thing I’ve heard, but I turned it off immediately, because it was so early!!! xDD ) ▪️last book I read: Something child therapy related or probably the DSM V or Violet Oaklander’s “ Windows to Our Children: A Gestalt Therapy Approach to Children and Adolescents”. I read too much to know exactly when I read what, and I often reread chapters or passages, from academic and children’s books alike... OH! Last book I read was “Tú no me mandas” by Neva Milicic, I fucking loved that book (it translates loosely as “You’re not the boss of me” and it rocks! (In yet another tangent, I read fics every day, one in the morning one at night, last one was Kristen999′s “Domino Effect” which was a reread.) ▪️last thing I ate: handmade cookies from the veggie and fruits market, they taste like childhood happy memories. ▪️where would you want to time travel to?: the future, to a point where intergalactic travel is possible, and then travel the galaxies. ▪️fictional character I would hang out with for a day: Papelucho (from the Papelucho series by Marcela Paz - Chilean author), or Danny “Danno”Williams from Hawaii Five-0, or this Russian spy I made up when I was like 17 and I use to write stories about, Sergei; he was soooooo coool! ▪️If I could be anywhere right now, where would I be? Somewhere warm (not hot, just warm) drinking coffee and reading a short story or something really light-hearted. ▪️Current fandom obsession? Hawaii Five-0, consumed my life, once it’s over I don’t know what will happen with me =(

I tag: @rainy, @littlebro-williams, @klutzy34, @spinner33, @pterawaters,

[thekristen999]

A Light in the Darkness

Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Howie "Chimney" Han, Bobby Nash

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Team as Family, Future Fic, Alternate Universe Post-Apocalypse , Established Relationship

Notes:

I've been battling writer's block. This is all about vibes so, please just go with it. :) Not beta-read.

...

His coordination is off; fat-feeling fingers fumbling with his turn-out coat, the snaps refusing to work. Exhausted, Eddie gives up wrestling with the damn things, yanking at the bottom until all the snaps come undone like the rest of him.

The coat slips off his shoulders, his body trembling harder after losing a layer of protection. Eddie squeezes his eyes closed; blossoms of red and orange flash beneath his lids, his breath hitching in his throat. There's no feeling left in his hands; they tremble, reminding him of geriatric patients locked inside veteran's hospitals. The hem of his T-shirt is untucked; his bunker pants sag around his hips, his ripcord suspenders the only thing holding them up.

He yanks them off his shoulders, almost tripping over his own two feet as he staggers out of them, leaving his pants on the floor.

A voice tells him to pick them up, but he can't be bothered to care. His jaw chattering loudly; he's so damn cold. Eddie hugs himself, longing for warmth, rubbing his hands up and down over the clammy flesh of his forearms. The wires inside his brain must mixed-up given how damn hot it is outside. The smell of smoke still reeks in the air, filling his nostrils with ash, tickling his lungs. Black smudges stain the left side of his face; two days of rough stubble irritates his cheeks. He stumbles around his make-shift quarters, but it's difficult to see.

There's no way he can handle lighting candles, but it's okay--- he wants the darkness to consume him. The screams, so many screams, still echo inside his ears, driving him towards the bathroom.

The cold robs his muscles of strength; they're too stiff and cramped to work right. Somehow he figures out the shower, twisting the knobs all the way in one direction until steam billows from the spray. His belt buckle becomes a puzzle he can't solve, the laces of his boots an unfathomable obstacle. Biting his bottom lip, not feeling the pain of splitting it open, Eddie walks under the harsh jet of water, clothes and all. He craves burning, scalding heat---like all those roaring flames.

Water soaks his t-shirt, pools in the creases of his uniform pants, his underwear, swirling down the drain.

His body won’t stop shivering. He stuffs his hands between his armpits, sinks to his knees and rocks back and forth under the faucet. Time stops-----loses meaning. 

The building explodes, the flying debris and fireball a perfect snapshot, forever scorching his retinas. The screams of all those he couldn't reach—couldn’t find—on repeat inside his head.

Tears leave warm trains over his clammy cheeks.

“Eddie? Holy shit. Hey, I found him! I found, Eddie!"

“Eds, talk to me. Shit. I need help!"

"Buck, what’s going on?"

"I don’t know, I just found him this way."

A hand, Buck's hard, cards through his hair. 'We've been looking for you for days."

Has it been that long?

"Hen, Chim. We need you over here!"

Voices all around, a jumble of tones and emotion. Then hands, prying, pulling, lifting.

"Eddie, can you tell me what’s going on?”

He looks up, squinting at his Captain’s worried expression, but his lips are too heavy to move. Someone holds him up by the shoulders while his legs buckle under his weight.

“He's freezing." That sounds like Buck, Eddie thinks despite his muddled brain.

“And you found him like this?" Bobby asks.  "Inside the shower with all his clothes still on?"

"Yeah, just like this."

Buck sounds scared. Eddie hates that he’s the reason he’s upset.

“Eddie, listen to me. You’re in shock. We’ve going to remove these wet clothes and get you warm again,” Hen tells him.

A part of him wants to smile, let her know that's fine, but how can it be? When all the voices he couldn't reach say otherwise.

The building incinerates, the cries for help swallowed up by more explosions.

Blackness closes in, sucking all the heat from his body. Anxiety grows around him, the voices of his team becoming urgent.

A part of him feels like a puppet with its strings cut, his arms and legs manipulated without his permission. His clothes are peeled away, limbs flopping back in place, dead and useless.

His skin begins to tingle all over, sharp pin pricks, angry bites of a million insects. He panics at the sensation, writhes and fights----running towards the flames.

"Eddie, it’s okay."

The hands are back, soothing, rubbing, holding him. Warm breath at the nape of his neck...coarse hair that tickles his bare shoulders. Heat soaks into his weary bones and he leans against strong muscle, rests the back of his head along a collarbone.

"Cold,” he whispers.

"I’ve got you, Eddie. I always have," Buck tells him, holding him closer.

Of course he does, Buck has always been there with him through thick and thin. Always light in the darkness.

Fingers curl around his left hand, and he’d recognize Hen's firm but gentle grasp anywhere. Goose flesh spreads across his arms, but her fingers try to soothe it away, rubbing up and down his arms.

A calloused hand pushes down on his other shoulder, and he opens his eyes, not realizing they've been closed all this time. Chim sits at his right side. “Stay under the blanket and be still."

His team surrounds him, sharing heat he so desperately needs. Chim huddles closer and Eddie feels his cheeks grow pink.

“Don’t get modest on us," Chim admonishes. "You’re slipping into shock."

Eddie understands these types of survival techniques. Body heat mixes with fresh adrenalin, causing all the hair all over his body to stand on end, hyper-aware of the close proximity of everyone.

The energy of waking saps the rest of him and despite the inner-self that yells about breaching all of his private barriers, Eddie relaxes within the warm glow.

Weapon's fire becomes a muted, fuzzy memory....one to be locked away with all the other bad stuff that if he allowed himself to dwell on, would drown him in the blackness of it all.

“You know there was nothing you could have done, right?” Buck whispers in his ear, soft and gentle. He thought he’d been sending everyone toward shelter. That was his job. To search for survivors in an all-consuming wasteland.

Eddie had guided them all toward shelter, telling them it was safe. Except it wasn’t. An explosion occurred----then nothing. It’s his fault, it’s his---

A hand squeezes his shoulder. “Don't,” Chim breathes.

Hen buries her head in his side. He can feel her eyelashes open and close against his skin. “It was an accident, Edmundo."

Eddie can still hear the screams. He rubs his thumb over her knuckles.

"You would have died if you had gone in,” Bobby’s voice rumbles off to the side where he stands guard over them.

It was his Captain who had kept Eddie from running toward the shrieks of death---yanking on his coat, the others wrestling him to the ground without a word.

"They’ll be others who need to be saved," Chim says, taking Eddie's other hand, squeezing. "And we need to be ready."

Buck holds Eddie tighter, chin resting in the crook on his neck, pressing a soft kiss to his ear. "I'll be by your side. Like always."

Maybe they’re right.

But that hadn't kept Eddie from going back out there, searching, hoping that maybe, there’d been one person left, one person out there wandering...

Eddie closes his eyes fighting against what-if’s, allowing his body to melt against Buck, basking in the protection of his team. Of his family.  

"Okay,” he whispers. Knowing tomorrow, they'll all go out there again. 

..

Maybe this will kick-start the Muse.

AO3 Link

[thekristen999]

For the WIP Meme ask. Thank you to @spotsandsocks @shortsighted-owl and @elvensorceress  for your curiosity. All three of you asked about my Sci-Fi of Doom idea and I thought why not share some photos of inspiration that I’ve been keeping in a folder along with my notes and outline of sorts. This has been on the back-burner for a while.

It would be another longer fic, one with a ton of action and intensity featuring most of the fire-fam.  I don’t have the energy to write it just yet, but the fact people might be interested in it does give me motivation to move it closer to the front of the line.

 @andavs and @fleurdebeton I think I mentioned this to you in passing.

[thebestbooksaround]

okay, first of all, thank you for your service! your recs are amazing

i just wanted to ask if you could rec as many rewrite fics as possible? episode rewrites, season rewrites that kind of thing? and if people could keep adding on itd be great?

theyre my fav genre tbh but they can be so hard to find :(

thank you so much!!

Oh boy, I sure can Anon!

I'm going to assume you mean 9-1-1, if you meant another fandom, let me know and I'll search for those. Some of these are rewrites by proxy? As in all the events happen but some are text fics so you only hear about them. If anyone has some to add, please do!

Without further ado...

We All Fall Down by kristen999 (@thekristen999)

He’d done this before. Inside the well. Trapped forty feet underground instead of in a tin can, rising water the constant threat.

Eddie stared at the radio, knowing this time there’d be someone on the other end to hear him if he needed to say something. If his time his second chances had finally run out.

He wouldn’t die alone. Not really. His team would be there. Just inches away. He could tell them, tell Buck….

*

glue by ProsperDemeter

“It’s just…” Connor shrugged. “No offense, man, but… you’re twenty-five. Do you really want to be spending so much time falling for a guy with a kid?”

“I’m not falling for him.”

--

A month away from graduating the LAFD Academy, Evan Buckley gets introduced to new recruit Eddie Diaz and things certainly change for both of them after that.

This author is also writing a s2 rewrite!

*

Firefighter Buckley's Unauthorized Ride-Along by slipperywordcrimes

Buck spends most of his probationary year with a bun in the oven, and doesn't realize it.

*

One Wrong Number by calinaannehart (@calinaannehart)

When Evan Buckley meets a man in a bar and gets his number, he couldn't possibly imagine how one wrong digit could lead him to his fate. Because sometimes wrong numbers are the right numbers.

bro·ken by kristen999 (@thekristen999)

Forced to take shady side jobs to pay his bills, Evan Buckley doesn’t think he’s ever seen such rock bottom. Until he meets Eddie Diaz, a man even more desperate and alone. Season 3 AU.

*

if it weren’t for second chances by alasse (@alasse9)

When Buck doesn’t save Daniel, the Buckleys put him in foster care. Seventeen years later, Bobby meets a tall, lanky kid who can’t stop eating his pancakes at a church breakfast, and he gives him a phone number and an unconditional offer of help.

A story about how Buck finds a chosen family, and with a few twists and turns, eventually gets to the 118, meets Eddie Diaz, and maybe finds himself a second and a third (or, an Evan Nash story).

*

Our story's been heartache and wonder by Tails89 (@tails89)

Fuck.

Buck scrubs a hand down his face. He’s got no idea what he’s supposed to do here.

He knows what his parents are like. He has his own childhood to draw from, and Isaac doesn't deserve that. He deserves to grow up surrounded by love, and if nothing else, Buck can give him that.

But Buck is also a twenty-six year old probationary firefighter, living in his girlfriend’s apartment while she travels the world. He’s not exactly in a position to look after a kid.

“Okay.” It comes out in a rush of air. “I’m gonna come get you."

*

no one quite like you by hammersmiths (@henswilsons)

Hen has added +1 213 555 to Firehouse 118

Hen: This is Eddie!

Eddie: Hey everyone :)

Buck: Why would she add him to our private groupchat

Chimney: I’m literally sitting right next to you

or, Buck and Eddie’s progression through texts.

*

Tighten Up by ok_thanks

It’s probably considered getting off on the wrong foot when you have sex with your coworker before they start their new job, right?

Buck would think it’s probably not a good thing, and definitely something that shouldn’t be repeated. Especially when he becomes best friends with them. That’d be particularly stupid.

*

Close My Eyes and Stumble (Right Into Your Love) by HMSLusitania (@hmslusitania)

Eddie's PTSD is just that little bit worse and when he moves to Los Angeles, instead of joining the LAFD, he joins dispatch.

Which is all good and fine, except for this one firefighter he keeps ending up talking to.

*

we were born with nothing by chromatophorica (@chromatophorica)

Until the 118, Evan had never had a family.

---

Evan saves Daniel when he's a baby; he still manages to find his way to the 118, forging a family there despite being given up by his biological parents.

*

I Didn't Know I Was Lonely 'Til I Saw Your Face by HMSLusitania (@hmslusitania)

After the ladder truck and the blood clot and the tsunami, Bobby makes Buck go to therapy before he does something stupid(like sue the city). Buck's not totally comfortable being alone with a therapist, but fortunately he makes a friend and ally who's willing to help him out - Eddie Diaz from the 136 who's just been caught in an illegal fight club.

OR

Total strangers Buck and Eddie go to couple's therapy together to get out of the therapy requirements their captains have placed on them.

*

i want your midnights by allyasavedtheday (@littlespoonevan)

Eddie grins. “Yeah I get that. So can I ask why you applied for the room? No offence but you’re not exactly the kind of candidate I expected.”

Buck laughs, ducking his head. That’s probably true.

“I, uh, I’ve been staying at my girlfriend’s place while she’s travelling but um, my sister moved to LA recently and sort of made the point that I could be overstaying my welcome? Or, well- actually she tried to tell me my girlfriend’s cheating on me and I need to get over it and move out of her place.” Buck shakes his head, eyes widening at what he just implied. “She’s not! Cheating, I mean. She’s just- trying to find herself after losing her mom. She just needs a little space, y’know?”

At least, that’s the excuse Buck’s giving Abby for why she hasn’t called him in over two weeks.

Eddie nods with a vague sort of expression on his face like he hadn’t expected him to overshare that much. Which, oops.

In which Eddie decides to rent out his spare room to help with mortgage repayments right around the time Buck decides to move out of Abby's place after some not so gentle prodding from Maddie. It's a coincidence. Or serendipity. Or maybe just really good timing.

*and of course we can't forget:

Those Two Firefighters by DarkFairytale

#thosetwofirefighters starts to gather a following on social media, as everyone tries to figure out if those two cute firefighters from the 118 in LA are a thing or not.

[thekristen999]

I just went down a rabbit-hole reading all of your Buddie therapy based fic. I don't think Ive read many stories that portray PTSD/recovery as vividly as yours. Do you mind if you could share some of your resources? Or your approach? Than you.

First off, thank you. I appreciate the note. . I'm not sure if I can explain my approach other than writing deeply from the perspective of the character which often means NOT writing a whole ton of introspection.

From personal experience, you don't often have all this profound insight when you're struggling. So, there isn't this- I'm feeling this way because I push others away or xyz triggers my anxiety. You’re just upset, angry, sad, stand-offish and you have no freaking idea why, or worse, you don't realize you're feeling or acting this way because your brain and body have trapped in the same poor mental health patterns.

So, I avoid giant 'self realizations’ in fic. I do try to either have the character go to a therapist or interact with another person who helps them draw some conclusions, but they're not exactly neat and tidy. Because our friends can only help us in so many ways, they're more like street lights on a dark road. They’re not professionals, but they can also draw on experiences. I often have Buck use his now newly discovered insight about himself from his own therapy to help Eddie, but each person’s journey is unique, so he’s not going to try to ‘fix’ Eddie, but he’s there to help him recognize his symptoms. Etc.

And then later, once a character is able to connect the dots, they can they sometimes realize and understand their triggers for example, but it’s a skill to learn and often keep learning. That is what can lead them to a path of healing in the narrative.

Sadly, I don’t have any links. I just tend to remember articles I’ve read or stuff from my own therapy.

You can learn a lot about stress, negative thinking patterns, anxiety and PTSD by reading about mindfulness and mediation techniques. My first two books were: Expand This Moment by John Selby and The Mantram Handbook by Eknath Easwaran. Then heavier reads like The Body Keeps the Score by by Bessel van der Kolk

I didn’t fully make a ton of headway until I started reading about the connections between chronic pain and trauma. I recommend the ‘Curable’ app for that.

Eeep. Sorry, I'm sure this was an unnecessary ramble and there are so many vast different experiences out there. 

[thekristen999]

Congrats are 50 H50 fics! Could you share some of your favorite lines/passages?

It’s hard to remember specifics after I’ve written something, especially if it’s been a while. But these two come to mind.(Sorry, it took me a couple of days to answer this)

From Safe Harbor  9.01 Coda

“Trust is fundamental, Danny. It’s hard fought, it’s absolute. It has to beearned, forged. In battle, in the field…in life.” Steve took a shudderingbreath. “It should be sacred.”

“It is sacred. Your trust in me is sacrosanct.”

Steve stilled at Danny’s words. He stared at Danny like he did after thetank, after Wo Fat’s torture chamber, like he did in the back of a truck inNorth Korea. And dozens of other times. Like he didn’t deserve someone whocared about him as much as he cared about friends or even strangers.

It broke Danny in two. He swallowed, gripping Steve’s wrist like a lifeline.“Your trust, the trust between us. It’s unbreakable.”

Steve exhaled a stuttering breath. He looked at Danny like he was the mostprecious thing in the world. “Yeah, it is.” He licked his lips, his longeyelashes both beautiful and distracting. “Always.”

 ***

 From The Hoku    AU, post-apocalypse.

After the last couple of days, Steve wouldn’t patronize Grace about being tooyoung to defend herself. “Why do you want to sleep with a weapon?”

“You do.”

“I keep one near me so I can protect those I love.” Grace staredharder into the fire obviously very familiar with the feeling. Steve watchedthe flames with her. “A weapon can make us feel more in control, but itcan’t make our fear go away.”

Grace looked at him. “What can?”

“Nothing makes it go away.” Steve moved closer to her, trying towrangle a lifetime’s worth of feelings. “Fear is a really scary emotion,but we can’t let it define us. We can recognize what makes us afraid and cankeep it in our sights so we know how to fight it.”

“But what if you can’t fight it?”

“Then we show that we’re not afraid by living our lives, honey,”Danny said in a sleep-fogged voice. He wandered over with a blanket wrappedaround his shoulders.

“Going to school, reading books, eating, cleaning, doing chores.Everything we do without thinking about the machines is a win.”

“But we go after them sometimes. And we go after people like WoFat.”

Danny draped part of his blanket over her shoulders. “We chase afterthe bad guys so that other people can go about their day a little easier. Andmaybe go to sleep feeling a little less afraid.” He gave her a small hug.“You still okay with that?”

Grace nodded vigorously.

[thekristen999]

Hi...good morning! For the Meme for Writers, how about #2 and #12?

Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but reallywant to?

I’ve been writing in various fandoms for over 15 years so dotend write what I want. However, I was hit by an idea last summer that I neverfollowed-up with. I wanted to do a H50 fusion with the Alien franchise.  I think it would open the door for some no-hold bars action and drama.  I’vealso wanted to do a fusion with The Predator films, but I did that for a big Daredevil crossover, so I don’t want torepeat myself.

I’ve wanted to tackle some tropes for Comfort-fest. Eithersharing body heat or bed-sharing, but mywriting time is limited of late due to some problems with my shoulder and neck.There is still time, I hope!

Is there an episode above all others that inspires you justa little bit more?

Oh, boy. H50 2.10 is 3.06. I really enjoyed 6.25.The whole trilogy of eppys in season eight. 8.09, 8.10 and 8.11 were great

Questions from here! Feel free to ask some more. I’m trying to answer them in order of the request. It might take me a day or two to get to them all!

[thekristen999]

Snowflake Challenge #1

In your own space, introduce yourself! Leave a comment in today’s post at The Fandom Snowflake Challenge on DW saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

 Hi,

I’m Kristen999. I’ve been I fandom since 2001. My fannish beginnings started out on Yahoo Groups where I learned the ropes about writing (in ER at the time). It was neat to be surrounded by like-minded people wanting to explore characters more in depth and continue their journeys in everything from AUs, to oh, no the hospital has been overrun my bad guys! I spent a lot of time reading X-Files and various films codas. I moved not to CSI, Stargate Atlantis, and the Marvel fandom, especially Daredevil. But mainly I can’t stop writing in Hawaii Five-O, shipping McDanno.

I’m a research hound and a bit of a completest, which means I write something until it’s done.  I love to dive into action driven-plots, but I also enjoy character Meta, slice of life and the occasional AU. Oh, and a bit of  hurt/comfort (muse looks sternly) Okay, more than a bit :)

As far as real life, I work at Natural Food Coop over-seeing/creating back-office/internal system functions. I’m surrounded by way too much snow and cold weather in Buffalo, NY, but hope to move somewhere warmer in the spring/summer as I job hunt.  I’m on a mindfulness journey, trying to learn meditation and self-care without guilt. When I don’t talk about writing, sometimes I share insight on that experience and other positive mental health things.  

But mainly I post about my favorite characters, share cat vids, or recs for my favorite fic.

I have very little tolerance for negativity, fandom paranoia/gossip, or wank in general. I’m a ship and let ship, and remember fandom is an escape, type of person. Yay! I’m friendly, but I don’t tend to friend/follow back until we’ve interacted a bit.

I’m always behind on all the new shiny things; but hey, I saw Rise Of Skywalker within the first week which is great for me!

Link to the Snowflake Challenge Post

Link to my fic on Ao3

[thekristen999]

Author Asks

Rules: answer these questions and tag five other fic writers to do the same.

I was tagged by the wonderful @five-wow. Thank you and sorry for such a long delay. Been so busy of late.

Author Name: Kristen999

Fandoms You Write For: I tend to be a solo fandom writer. I’ve written for Hawaii Five-O for almost nine years now! I hit one million words just in H50 fic!

I have dabbled in Daredevil, The Punisher, and The Defenders for a couple of years. Previously, I wrote for SGA for five years, and when I was wee one, CSI.

Random fact. Back in the old days where Computers ran on pedal power, I wrote in the ER fandom hosted on Yahoo Groups. That Group was made up of tons of nurses, doctors, and EMTs. The dedicated wrote huge Medical Resources for writing, there was a ‘page a nurse’ posts for help with research. Some of my first betas were in the medical professional. I owe much of my desire to write medically accurate(ish) scenes to my writing back then. J

Where You Post:  A03.

Most Popular One-Shot: I won’t use comments because that can be skewed by chapter count. I posted it as a single story and it’s one chapter, but it’s 38k words. Based on Kudos and Bookmarks.

Beneath the Trident  The guys are undercover: Steve as a SEAL Team leader, Danny as reporter for Rolling Stone. I love this story because it’s rooted in Danny learning about Steve’s connection with the SEALs by witnessing him in action. Danny really gets to see a side of Steve that he’s only seen pieces of, and he gains a ton of understanding, and perhaps finally accepts his attraction to the man who has been trying him bonkers for two years.

If you go by one-shot: as in a shorter story (I’m surprised by this)

Reluctant Allies (Or the Time Frank Had to Bring Home the Devil)

This was the first time I wrote Frank Castle and of course it’s a Frank POV dealing with one very annoying Matt Murdock aka Daredevil.:)

 Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story:  No Way Out But Through

Another surprise! But this does have a bit of everything: action, hurt/comfort, Danny leading the case, some major fight scenes ,and Steve recovering the whole fic, but still being useful and competent. I liked this because Steve and Danny are together, but their relationship is tested by the events of the story and there is tension, but of course love and respect one another.

Favorite Story You Wrote: Just one?

I have a passion for history. So, my McDanno WWII Pacific Theater based AU.  Distant Shores

Bonus for: Crossroads is just a nice character piece.

Story You Were Nervous to Post:

The Hoku AU, future fic, post-apocalypse? Yeah, it’s a heavy story.

How Do You Pick Your Titles: I struggle with titles. Usually I want it to hint at the theme of the story, but many times it’s a quote or song lyrics.

 Do You Outline: Yes. For anything over 10k I tend to outline. I bullet point important plot events which helps keep me in check, but allows me to change course if need be. I tend to research before and during a story. The research can actually create new arcs or change what I had intended, but I mostly stick to the original idea in my head.

How Many Of Your Stories Are Complete: All my fic in the last decade are complete. I don’t post WIPs because it causes me writer’s block.

 In-Progress: One. I’m in the research stage for a new one shot.

Coming Soon: I’m not sure. I’m probably going to stick to one-shots for a while, although I consider anything under 10k a one shot so that doesn’t mean short. But I’m mentally fatigued and I spent a year writing Past Tense, so I’m good. Maybe it’ll allow me to do a couple of random codas.

Do You Accept Prompts: Not really. I sometimes ask friends for a prompt, but I tend to get blocked with a specific idea that is not my own.

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For: Um, the one I’m researching now?  :-P

tagging: @ariestaurus21 @sealie-seolh @missslothy @stephmcx @stellagioia