#kumkanikazi

[paisholotus]

Meant To Be

Shuri x black reader

Summary: "I'll never leave you again, my love"

Warning Strong Language, Death, Smut.

Translations: Sthandwa(My Love) Ndiyakuthanda ( I Love You) "Ndiyakuthanda, nawe" ( I Love You Too) Ndithathe ukumkanikazi wam ( Take Me My Queen) Umhle kakhulu, Kumkanikazi wam ( You're So Beautiful, My Queen) Shuri ukumkanikazi wam ( Shuri, my Queen) Yintoni eyenzekayo (what's going on) Kukho into ekufuneka uyibone ( there's something you need to see) Kwenzeke ntoni (what's happened) Umntu uhlambe elunxwemeni, uKumkanikazi wam ( someone washed up on the beach , my Queen) Ngaba siyazi ukuba ngubani? ( Do we know who?) Ngu ..... umfazi wakho uKumkanikazi wam ( it is your wife) Umfazi wam ( My Queen) Ukumkanikazi wam omhle ( My beautiful Queen) Uyaphila ( he lives ) Bendikukhumbula, kumkanikazi wam (I missed you, my Queen) Usana lwam ihobe ( My baby dove)

Requested by: @purplecandyocean

A/N: This is inspired by the song Stay Ready & Love Scene by Jhene & Joe. This MF IS LONG! So I'm sorry in advance, but I hope y'all enjoy. 🩵

Narrative

Riri was helping Shuri with a new project, which apparently was to benefit the border tribe. The lab was deafeningly quiet. Riri has been in Wakanda on spring break for a month and will return home in two weeks.

 

She realizes Shuri is acting a little down today; she hasn't spoken anything to her all day. She hasn't pressed Shuri to say anything, but she is becoming concerned.

 

"You ok, bro?" Riri asked Shuri.

Shuri nodded and returned her gaze to the tools on the table. 

Riri nodded hesitantly and gazed down at Shuri's necklace. It was a necklace made of crystal. Riri noted that Shuri always wore it and had never seen her take it off. 

"What's that necklace? It's almost as if it's shining. Is it made of vibranium?" Riri asked Shuri.

Shuri smiled affectionately as she gazed down at the necklace. She squeezed it in her hand, observing the various hues reflecting off her hand. 

 

"Yeah, something like that." Shuri's voice drifted off. 

Riri interpreted this as Shuri's refusal to talk. Riri took the tools and went back to work. 

 

Shuri returned her attention to Riri, saying, "My wife made it for me." She said quietly.

 

Riri looked at Shuri with a surprised expression on her face.

 

"YOU WERE MARRIED!?" Riri screamed.

Shuri laughed at Riri's shocked face and nodded.

"How come you've never told me?" Riri asked Shuri.

 

Shuri frowned again, rubbing the crystal between her fingers. 

 

"It's difficult for me to talk about her. I could go on and on about my family, but Y/N....it just aches." She said, while holding tears in her eyes and looking at Riri.

 

Riri nodded and expressed regret for bringing it up. Shuri shook her head and stated that she was not bothered. 

 

"I apologize for being so distant today. Because it is my anniversary, I've been missing her even more." Shuri informed Riri.

Riri assured her they didn't have to discuss it any more if she didn't want to. 

 

"No, it's fine. "I'd like to tell you about her." She stated. 

 

"She made this necklace for me. I can communicate with her, and the glowing means she's safe. It will change colors based on her mood. When the blip occurred and everyone else came back, she didn't, including my brother and cousin. The necklace is now basically every color. But the glowing gives me hope that she's still alive." 

Riri's eyes welled up as she listened to Shuri. Shuri basically lost everyone she loved.

"Can you tell me some more stuff about her?" Riri asked. 

Shuri offered her a tearful smile as she glanced at her. 

"Of course." 

"She sounds amazing," Riri said, as Shuri finished telling her about Y/N. "I know, that's why I married her" Shuri proudly said, but her smile quickly faded. "I miss her," She said. Shuri didn't want to burden her problems and worries onto Riri, even though they were friends, talking about Y/N was dreadfully painful.

"Well, even though you can't communicate with her anymore, your necklace still glows. So maybe she'll come back one day. My grandmother used to say, life ain't nothing without faith. So you gotta continue to have faith that she'll come back, good things that are made for us always comes back." Riri told shuri softly grabbing on her hand.

Shuri gave Riri a small smile and quietly thanked her squeezing her hand back. Shuri dropped their hands and told Riri she'll finish the project tomorrow. She told Riri to shut down the lab for her, she was going to call it a night.

As shuri walks down the palace halls, heading to her room, it gets quieter, she thought of the happy days. The day Shuri and Y/N got married. It was in secret, Shuri proposed to Y/N on the beach, it was absolutely beautiful. Shuri was the oldest 16 and Y/N 15. Their marriage was in secret because both of their parents would not of approve of them marrying so young, but their love was strong and Shuri knew she would never want to be with anyone else.

Shuri walked into her room, walking straight into the bathroom to do her nightly hygiene routine. After she was done, she lotioned up and put on her pajamas. She honestly felt mentally tired. She was sick of coming to an empty room night after night. She looked towards her closet and walked in, walking all the way to the back, were Y/N's clothes in boxes.

She opened the box and pulled out one Y/N's shirts, bringing it out of the closet, and walked towards her dresser which held all of Y/N's favorite perfumes. She sprayed the perfume on the shirt and held it up to her nose. She smiled softly at the smelled, the thought of getting rid of your belongings has never and will never cross her mind, this is all she has left of Y/N.

Shuri turns off the lights and gets into bed. She places the shirt over one of the pillows, and hugs it, taking in the scent. Oh, how she wishes Y/N would come back to her. She wishes her whole family back. Of course she has Nakia, her nephew, Okoye, and now Riri.

But, it wasn't the same. She lost everyone. Shuri clutched the pillow tighter as she silently cried herself to sleep.

 

-Time Skip-

Okoye dashed through the corridors of the palace, heading toward Shuri's room.

"Shuri! ukumkanikazi wam!" With tears in her eyes, she let out a cry and pushed open her doors.

 

Startled out of sleep, Shuri gazed at Okoye with a worried expression on her face.

"Yintoni eyenzekayo?" She asked Okoye.

"Kukho into ekufuneka uyibone." She says. 

With the Dora Milaje after them, Okoye and Shuri dashed through the palace's halls and out the palace.

Shuri turned on her suit and dashed over to the scene. The shore. 

Though that was not the case, Shuri mistook it for Namor returning.

 

"Kwenzeke ntoni?" Shuri asked, as Okoye stopped her from walking on the beach.

"Umntu othile wahlamba elunxwemeni." Okoye said, lowly.

Shuri nodded and moved aside only for Okoye to move back in front of her.

Shuri showed her face deactivating her suit, looking at the General suspiciously. "Ngaba siyazi ukuba ngubani?" Shuri asked her.

Okoye opened her mouth but nothing came out, she continued to take uneven breaths looking at Shuri who was losing patience.

Shuri took a good look at the General. Her cheeks was wet and her eyes were red. 'Has she been crying?' Shuri thought. Shuri tried to move around the General but Okoye moved in front of her once again.

"Okoye, you tell me what's going on, right now!" Shuri demanded staring the General in the eyes.

"We know who it is. Ngu ..... umfazi wakho uKumkanikazi wam." Okoye said, slowly her eye's tearing up.

Shuri ran past Okoye instinctively. She was running down the beach like a crazy person when she noticed Ayo and Aneka trying to revive Y/N, who was unconscious on the damp sand. 

 

Shuri slid into the sand close to Y/N's body, placing Y/N's head on her lap. 

 

"LOVE, PLEASE GET UP! DON'T DO THIS!" Shuri begged Y/N. She gazed at the bright red kimoyo beads on your breast, which indicated that it couldn't detect Y/N's pulse. 

 

Shuri removed her necklace and noticed that it had stopped glowing. 

 

 "HAYI! NCEDA UNGAYENZI LE NTO, MNTWANA! BUYELA KUM! ANDINAKUPHULUKANA NAWE!" Shuri screamed. Her hot tears fell on Y/N's face. 

 

The kimoyo beads then became green, prompting Y/N to cough up the water.  

 

Shuri quickly turned Y/N over to her side as she violently coughed up the water. When Y/N finally coughed up the water, Shuri turned her on her back again, pulled her up to her chest, and clutched onto her. 

 

Shuri cried into the side of Y/N's neck, thanking Bast for giving you back to her. Shuri moved her head from Y/N's neck and leaned down, pressing a small kiss to her lips. 

 

"My Queen, maybe we should take her back to the palace so she can get looked at." Okoye said. 

 

Shuri nodded and picked up Y/N, carrying her bridal style back to the palace.

-Time Skip-

Shuri observed Y/N, who was still unconscious, breathing steadily. She leaned over and kissed her forehead, brushing back the dark curls in her eyes. 

 

Shuri couldn't believe she was looking at her wife like this. She was still alive and well. Shuri hadn't seen Y/N in two years, and she was experiencing overwhelming emotions right now.

 

Shuri turned to gaze at Okoye, who was walking over from talking with Ayo. 

 

"How did this happen?" Shuri asked.

 

"A couple said that they saw Y/N wash up on the beach but didn't know who exactly she was until they got people to inform the Dora." She said quietly.

 

"When I got there and I got a good look at her, I knew then that was Y/N." She said, while looking down at Y/N and smiling. 

 

When Shuri turned her head and saw Riri stroll into the room in her pajamas, the moment came to a halt. 

 

"What in the hell is going on? I heard yelling and a lot of running. Did something happen?" She asked, concernedly approaching Shuri.

 

Shuri returned her gaze to her wife with a sweet smile. 

 

"Who's That?" Riri asked. 

 

Shuri returned Riri's gaze with tears in her eyes.

 

"This...is Y/N. Umfazi wam." She remarked, happily beaming. 

 

Riri raised her head at Shuri before returning her gaze to Y/N.

 

'This is her?' Riri pondered. 

"She's beautiful." Riri said.

 

Shuri glanced triumphantly at Y/N and Riri, stating, "Yes, she is. Ukumkanikazi wam omhle." 

 

"AYE!" Everyone turned their heads, and what they saw made their hearts drop. 

 

"Does someone want to fucking tell me why T and I just came out of the fucking ocean?!" 

 

Shuri audibly gasped as she placed her hands over her mouth. 

"N'Jadaka......brother." 

 

Okoye smiled as she stared at T'challa through tears. "Uyaphila." She stated proudly. 

 

Shuri dashed over to Erik and T'challa, wrapping her arms around them both and sobbing.

 

T'challa and Erik clung to Shuri as they sank to the ground. She wailed, clutching them even tighter, as if they might vanish again. 

 

They held onto Shuri while she cried till she couldn't anymore, and the only thing that came out were her hiccups. 

 

T'challa and Erik stepped back to get a better look at Shuri. T'challa had expressed her desire to cut her hair while smiling at her with tears in his eyes. While Erik stated that it suited her.

 

T'challa gazed around, noticing the Dora, Okoye, Y/N on the medical bed, and Riri, whom he didn't know. But who he didn't see was his mother.

 

T'challa returned his gaze to Shuri and asked where their mother was.

 

Shuri's lips quivered as more tears streamed down her cheeks. She started telling them everything. Everything down to the smallest detail. When she returned from the blip, the three of them didn't. 

 

She told them about Namor and what transpired in America, as well as her attempt to bring Riri to Wakanda and her capture by the Talokan. She told them of their mother's death and that M'baku is now King of Wakanda, and she is Queen and Black Panther. 

 

She told them everything that had transpired up until tonight. 

 

T'challa and Erik couldn't find the words to say when she finished. They were experiencing too many emotions at the same time. 

Erik had lost his aunt, and T'challa had lost his mother. M'baku reigns as King on the Thrown. And Shuri T'Challa's younger sister, Queen and Black Panther, has grown up. 

In the last two years, their country has experienced both triumph and tragedy. Erik and T'challa couldn't help but cry as they clutched Shuri. 

T'challa and Erik did express their admiration for Shuri's ability to handle things so well. Shuri thanked her brother and cousin with a warm grin. 

That is everything she has ever desired to hear. 

  -Time Skip-

"Oh my god, Shuri!" Y/N squealed, caught off guard, as Shuri effortlessly lifts her off the ground and twirls her around, cradling Y/N's body in her embrace as she walks down the palace halls. With a playful gesture, she plants several kisses on Y/N's cheek, eliciting another burst of laughter from her. “Shuri, put me down!,” she manage to utter amidst Shuri's genuine laughter, even though her pleads for her to let her go.

“Not a chance, nkoszana. Do you know how long I've waited for this moment?” she tells her sincerely placing her gently back on the ground. Y/N looked shuri in her eye's with love and admiration. After Shuri told Y/N what had happened, she was heartbroken that Shuri had to go through all that. And she felt even more guilty about what happened to Queen Mother. Because maybe if she was there Ramonda would be alive, but Shuri assured her that it wasn't her fault, what happened was out of their control.

Shuri kissed Y/N, trapping her between their bedroom door as her mouth traveled back to that sweet spot on Y/N's neck. Y/N's hand made its way to the back of Shuri's head, gently grasping her soft curls as her passionate kisses, making a moan come from her lips. Shuri's hands creep down Y/N's body, caressing her curves before her fingers slowly find their way between her legs again, causing Y/N's knees to buckle for a split second, from not being touched in so long.

Shuri was delicate in removing Y/N's clothes from her body, allowing her clothes to fall down to her ankles. Her slender fingers graced the sides of her panties, she was not so gentle with, hooking her fingers underneath the lace that hugged Y/N's hips and ripping them, causing a shiver to go down her spine.

"All I want to do right now is love her down (Ooh)

I don't give a damn about who hears the sound (Ooh...)

We'll be in the groove until the sun comes up (Yeah)

Together we'll get lost inside the love"

“Mmm... I smell how wet you are, Sthandwa.” Shuri pressed into Y/N's clit once more, pushing loving circles into her before she made her way down to her clenching hole. Y/N felt drenched, desperate for her wife's touch but Shuri desired to savor this moment as if it were a rare occurrence, shuri was going to please her wife tonight. She's going to make up for the two years she's lost with her love.

"Let's make a love scene, steamy and blue

Erotic memories for an audience of two

And we'll make a love scene, let the foreplay begin

And replay each moment again and again and again"

She traced her fingers over your Y/N's entrance, feeling the way her pussy chased after her in desperation of release. The relentless teasing Shuri subjected Y/N to was unbearable, driving her to the edge of exhaustion as Y/N's impatience mounted, begging Shuri to put an end to it.

"Take it off, take it off, take it off till you get enough

(Whoa... whoa... whoa... whoa...)

Anyway that you like, it's okay, come and get my love

(Whoa... oh... ho... ho... yea...)"

Y/N yearned, craving Shuri's touch with a deep hunger, and Shuri desired her wife just as much as she did. For a moment, Shuri got off the bed, allowing herself to become entranced with the way Y/N's slick glistened her inner thighs, doing all this as Shuri unbuttoned her dress shirt and rolled up her sleeves, her Necklace glowing, and her Panther Grillz glistening against her ebony skin. Shuri was so beautiful and the sight of her only heightened Y/N's arousal, her core pulsing beneath Shuri's gaze.

"All I want to do right now is love her down (Love her down)

I don't give a damn about who hears the sound (Hears a sound)

We'll be in the groove until the sun comes up

(Ooh... ooh...)

Together we'll get lost inside the love (Oh, yeah)"

Shuri got on the bed, resting herself on her knees before motioning Y/N to lay on her back and she obliges, spreading her legs, her arms cuffing under her legs. Shuri's fingers lingered above Y/N's clit, grazing them along her folds.

"Let's make a love scene (Make a love scene), steamy and

Blue (Ooh)

Erotic memories for an audience of two

And we'll make a love scene (We'll make a love scene)

Let the foreplay begin (Oh... ho...)

And replay each moment (Mmm) again and again and again

Ooh, I'm gonna keep lovin', I'm gonna keep lovin' you baby

(When the curtain drops) Oh

We won't stop (We won't stop), we won't stop"

Shuri wasted no time sinking her eager fingers through Y/N's folds, Shuri's digits getting lost in her thick, swollen pussy as Y/N feels the coolness of Shuri's rings up against her. She occasionally brushes over Y/N's clit causing her flinch every time, still sensitive from Shuri's lingering touch.

"Baby lyin' on the bed

Exotic fantasies goin' through her head

She's staring at me with those bedroom eyes

(Take four) Honey sippin' on some Chardonnay

The sex is even better when she's feeling that way"

"Are you going to be a good wife, and let me pleasure you?" Shuri asked, in a sultry tone.

Shuri's words make pounding of Y/N's core intensify, aching to be taken care of. Shuri licked a long stripe up her entrance, eliciting a sharp inhale from Y/N as she licked her lips at the taste.

"Tell me what you want, Ukumkanikazi wam?" She asked, kissing her clit.

"Ndithabathe ukumkanikazi wam." Y/N moaned out, pressing Shuri's head closer to her entrance.

That’s all Shuri needed to hear. She lowered her head to the heaven between Y/N's thighs. She swirls her tongue around her clit, moaning as she sucks gently.

"Umhle kakhulu, kumkanikazi wam." Shuri whispered, lapping Y/N's juices as she clenched around Shuri's tongue, feeling her climax approaching.

“Bast!” Y/N cried out, throwing her head back with eyes glued shut.

Any attempt at hiding Y/N's need for Shuri was long gone now. Shuri flicked her tongue rapidly over the sensitive bundle of nerves, admiring the way your legs clamped over her ears as she did.

“Shuri-yam,” Y/N whined, Shuri's name dragging over her lips.

“Yes, my darling?” Shuri mutters, kitten-kissing Y/N's clit. “P-Please, k-keep going.” Y/N begged.

“Fuck! Right there, mama. Don't stop....A-almost there!” Y/N utter, releasing her grip on the sheets and replacing her grasp onto Shuri’s dark curls.

Shuri's name continued to vibrate off the walls when Y/N's release erupted through her vessel, her body shaking as she rode it out.

The queen lapped up Y/N's essence, sucking every drop that threatened to fall from her center as she moaned at the taste. "You did such a good job, my Queen." Shuri praised, leaning up to kiss Y/N's lips, so she could taste herself.

Y/N reaches her hand out to her Queen, "your turn. Let me taste you, Panther-yam."

Shuri straddles Y/N's stomach, moving her wet core back and forth.

Y/N's hand grazes through Shuri's slick folds as Y/ N's mouth waters at the thought of tasting her mama, "My face. Sit on your throne, my Queen." Y/ N insisted.

"Bendikukhumbula, kumkanikazi wam." Shuri moaned, out softly.

Y/N doesn't respond, instead gripping Shuri's hips and bringing her pussy down to within her mouth's reach before going to town. Y/N start by licking a flat stripe up her folds, collecting as much of her essence on her tongue as she possibly can, moaning at Shuri's taste, "You taste so good, Mama." Y/N raised her other hand up and parting Shuri's folds to wrap her lips around her clit and suck.

"Girl, I'm down to take a sip from your cup

If you drink from my fountain of love (Oh, ho)

Girl I'm down to take a sip from your cup (From your cup)

If you drink from my fountain of love

'69 was a very good year (Do you remember, girl)

If you know what I mean, my dear (Ooh, baby)

'69 was a very good year (I could remember)

If you know what I mean, my dear (Let's do it over and

Over again)"

Shuri throws her head back, a loud moan falling from her lips as she begins rocking her lower lips against your face "Bast! Yes, don't stop! Ndiyakuthanda." Moaned loudly, looking down at Y/N

"Let's make a love scene (Let's make a love scene)

Steamy and blue (Let's do it on the floor)

Erotic memories for an audience of two

And we'll make a love scene (Alright)"

"Ndiyakuthanda, nawe" Y/N responded, spitting onto Shuri’s clit. Making Shuri scream Y/N's name.

 -Time Skip-

 "We do not exist in

Any other instant"

“What’s on your mind, sthandwa sam?” Shuri's voice held Sincerity.

Shuri laid on Y/N's chest looking up in her eyes.

"Nothing, I just can't believe everything that has happened in the last two years." Y/N said, looking up at the ceiling.

Shuri turns over, sitting up on her elbows, looking down into Y/N's eyes.

"Sthandwa-Sam. I know you blame yourself, and I'm telling you not too. What happened, what I've been through was not something you could have fixed." Shuri said, pressing her forehead against Y/N's.

"Here in this dimension

You and I are meant to be"

Y/N's eyes watered as she began to cry a little. "Yeah, but you had to do it all alone. I mean yeah you had Nakia and Okoye. But you've waited two whole for me. If didn't come back I would've wanted you to move on. Find someone other than me to make you happy."

"If you just give me 24

Man, all I need is 24 hours

I promise you'll want plenty more

You'll probably be with it forever

So how does it sound, us on the ground

Giving you my love?"

“Ssshhh, Usana lwam ihobe. I was never alone I carried you with me everywhere I went. Prayed to Bast every day that you would come back to me, never giving up hope or faith. And look what happened, you came back to me. On our anniversary at that." She said, smiling down at Y/N. Making her cry even harder.

"Come to me

Come, come to me

what you've done to me

You put a gun to me

Then you brought the sun to me"

"And as for moving on. That's something I could never in my days do. I love your sense of humor, how you’re always laughing and it makes me laugh. Puts a smile to my face when I have no smile to offer. I love your strength and your capability to love even though the world has not been so kind to you."

"Shine like blood diamonds

Learning to have patience only 'cause you are timeless

The universe energy doesn't lie

And this chemistry is infinity at a million times

I wrote a million rhymes describing your star power

And after 24 bars, you get 24 hours"

“You reminded me everyday of what it is to be happy. And I want nothing more than to spend the end my days, waking up to your perfect face every morning. I loved you every second of my life, and that's never going to change." Shuri finished tears sliding down her cheeks.

"There's no place quite like here

There's no better time than now

You gotta stay ready

There's no place quite like here

There's no better time than now

That's why I stay ready"

"I love you Shuri." Y/N said, kissing Shuri's lips.

"We do not exist in

Any other instant

Here in this dimension

You and I are meant to be"

"I love you more, Sthandwa."

[iinkonde]

Xhosa translations

I remember mentioning helping with those, so this is me trying. It's so hard reading these amazing stories and then in the middle of the journey being accidentally sworn at. Sometimes translation engines don't do the best job at translating.

So this is me trying to help those who will take the help. I'll write down the most common mistranslations I stumble upon ever so often.

Because most if not all the times some words in Xhosa do not exist in English and visa versa, or there's no translation that would make sense I'm offering some alternatives.

English to Xhosa translation of words, phrases

Greetings - Molo (singular) Molweni (plural)

How are you - Unjani (singular) Ninjani (plural)

My - yami, wami

Baby - Bhabha, Sthandwa

A baby - Usana

My love - Sthandwa sami, Bambo'lwami

Wife - Mfazi

Bride - Umtshakazi (singular) and abatshakazi (plural )

Husband - Myeni

King - Kumkani

Queen - Kumkanikazi

Prince - Nkosana

Princess - Nkosazana

General - Jikelele

Are you okay? - Uphilile?.

What's wrong? - Yintoni/Intoni ingxakhi

You're a lair - Uli menemene.

You're lying - Uyaxoka

How - Njani

Now - Ngoku

Your majesty - Ngangamsha

My girl - Ntomb'am

Girl - intombi, intombazana (singular) Izintombi, amantombazana (plural)

Boy - ikhwenkwe (singular) amakhwenkwe (plural)

Mother - Mama

Father - Baba, Tata

Aunt - Makazi

Uncle - Malume

Sister - sisi, dade

Brother - Mkhuluwe

Grandmother - Makhulu

Grandfather - utata'mkhulu

Roses - iirozi

You're beautiful - Awusemhle

Yes - Ewe

No - Hhayi

My person - Mtuwam

Your beauty renders me speechless - Ubuhle bakho bundigqiba amazwi

-

This will be all for now. I can't think of any more, these were just the basics and ones I see in most stories. Feel free to add phrases or sentences for me to translate for you. Reblog and share if you found this helpful. Thanks. Bye!

[bestfriend491]

Hey. I'm sorry to ask this, but my mental health isn't doing so good lately. Ramonda is my comfort character. Could I maybe ask you to write something where she takes care of a F reader who struggles with nightmares about a past abusive relationship? Maybe she holds reader, and promises reader will always wake in her arms?

~ Holding you tight tonight

Queen Ramonda x Female Reader

Summary: There comes a time when one must be honest about their past. When your turn arrives, Ramonda's more than ready to listen.

Author's note: I am so sorry this one took long to deliver in particular. I wanted to get it out quickly for the beautiful anon (I hope you're doing okay now, though) but I had some bad avoidance with writing for the past few months. Luckily, I'm slowly getting there. I hope you enjoy. Tell me how you like it.

Word Count: 6.2k

Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: A little Self-deprication, brief mentions of past abusive relationship, tears and panic

“You don’t have to leave places where you are wanted, merely because other places have rejected you” - A

“My queen, we are home.” Ramonda heard the words of the General from where she sat. They were on the quinjet, with Okoye flying it. 

She looked up, having been too preoccupied to notice the horizon of her home country coming into view. 

Okoye, noticing the obvious absent-mindedness of the queen, turned to look at her. Seeing that she’d been writing something down, she raised a brow. 

“Are you planning something, Kumkanikazi?”

The queen, smiling now at the notes she’d been making, nodded her head in confirmation. “Just something special for me and Y/n.” 

At the mention of your name, Okoye needed no further explanation as to why the queen was preoccupied. In the three years that the two of you had been together, if it was about you, she knew that Ramonda would be going above and beyond. 

The same went for what she was planning right then. Simply put; it was a date. One where you and her would spend the evening in your shared room, or out in the garden, just enjoying your reunification. 

Ramonda had been out on travel for a few weeks, unable to see you. It felt like a foreign concept, being away from you for so long. She’d been lucky enough to have rescheduled any travels when you’d just moved into the palace, not long after she’d proposed to you. 

Though you were familiar with being in the palace since even before your relationship started, she still wanted to make sure that she didn't leave you alone until you were comfortable. Surprisingly, she made it 4 months before her travels could no longer be postponed, delegated or cancelled. 

Though you’d assured her that you’d be okay, she’d still stayed worried from the moment she left. The nightly calls that you had to check up on each other became less about her updating you on how the alliance proceedings with the other nations were going, and more about you reassuring her that you were okay.

With all that time away from you, all she wanted was to be close to you. To refresh the fading memories of small things you did. To see the creases by the edges of your eyes when you smiled. To hear your boastful laugh whenever she said something you thought was comical. 

She wanted to see you in your happy state. Doing all your happy state things. And the best way she knew how to get you there was with a date. Just you and her. 

“Do you think you could dismiss all the Dora working on our wing of the palace tonight? I know she’s not a huge fan of them being around in the later hours.” Ramonda went on to ask, unintentionally including Okoye in her date planning. 

Okoye went on with what she said, letting her throw ideas out to see if they sounded okay. By the time the quinjet landed in the royal hangar, Ramonda was sure that she had a finely planned date on her hands.

The two women were met with Aneka standing outside of the vehicle, smiling in greeting. With pleasantries out of the way, Ramonda continued looking down at her notes, Aneka on her left, and Okoye on her right. 

“What have you got there my queen?” the former asked.

Ramonda angled the notebook towards the other woman, letting her read off of it. 

Aneka nodded in understanding, a soft “oh” leaving her lips as she smiled at the revelation. 

Though most of the Dora were close to the queen, sharing a respectful bond with her as their ruler, some of the Adored Ones got more than just that. Some, like the General, or even sweet Aneka got those glimpses of unprofessionalism. The hints of times when Ramonda was no longer the queen of the nation. Rather, just a friend who talked about the love of her life just as any other person would. 

“How is she?” the queen found herself asking Aneka. The call she’d had with you only hours before seemed promising enough but she still needed an outside witness of assurance. 

Aneka seemed slightly stumped by the question, looking for words that usually came quite easily to her. Okoye, knowing how lacking the woman could be in subtlety, cleared her throat as a signal; get to the point, soldier. 

“She’s well!” She quickly let out, in a higher pitch than she normally spoke in. Seeing the pained look of embarrassment on the General's face, she tried again. “She looks refreshed… is what i mean. Very well rested.” 

Ramonda sighed at that, relieved that her absence hadn’t brought you sleep problems. You’d looked beyond tired when she’d left, and she’d spent many hours worried that her departure was the reasoning for this. 

She didn't notice the look of concern taking over the General’s face at Aneka’s words. 

“Aneka…” the General started to speak, angling her head to the side. Another signal. What actually happened?

The normally outspoken Dora Milaje grew nervous at that, making it very obvious to even the least vigilant that there was definitely something missing from her story. 

Unfortunately, Ramonda wasn’t being even the least bit vigilant. 

Her body and mind were elsewhere as they entered the palace, making their way to her living-quarters. She was searching for you in anticipation, waiting to see your frame enter her view and brighten her day. 

When she finally did see you, unknowingly coming out of your shared room to her and the Dora looking at you, she was overcome by relief. 

“Y/n. My love.” you raised your head, knowing that voice as coming from one woman and one woman only. 

“Sthandwa sam…” you let out breathlessly, a surprised smile coming to your face as you approached her. 

Ramonda wasted no time separating from the two women that had accompanied her to go to you. The two of you were reunited in a warm embrace. 

“You’re back early.” you expressed, taking in her serene scent and light energy. 

“The last meeting was cancelled so I told Okoye that we should leave early and surprise you.” 

You laughed at that, “I'm sure she was all too pleased to hear you talk about me for weeks on end.” 

“She’s polite where she can be, but she’s definitely sick of hearing your name.” you both laughed at that.

When the two of you finally detached from each other, She took a good look at you. You looked just as Aneka had described. Refreshed and well rested. Ramonda found herself looking at you in complete amazement. 

She never could get used to looking at your beautiful face and knowing that it was all hers to look at. 

She looked at what you were wearing, noticing that you were still in more formal attire. 

“Do you have somewhere to be, my love?” 

“I was just rushing here to find something I forgot for work. I still have to go back.”

Ramonda nodded in understanding. She smiled at you for a little while longer, holding your hands in hers for a moment  before fully letting go of you. 

“I’ll be back by 6.” you said, before leaning in to kiss her softly. She remained with a smile plastered on her face, now having a lingering tingle on her lips.

“I’ll see you then, my love.” Ramonda said, kissing you once again for that euphoric feeling before letting you go on with your day. 

Though she usually grew slightly sad when you had to work long hours, in her mind now, this gave her plenty of time to prepare everything without worrying about whether you would catch her or not. 

With her mind back onto her original intentions for the day, she turned to where she’d last seen the two Dora that were with her. Surprisingly, she was met with only Aneka behind her, wearing a rather guilty look on her face. 

“Where did Okoye go?” She asked, gaining only more hesitation from the Adored One. 

“I informed her of a task that needed to be done… elsewhere, My Queen.” 

“Should I be worried?” 

“No, no, not at all. Everything is well with the nation, Queen Ramonda.” 

Feeling satisfied enough with that, Ramonda breathed out a sigh, returning back to her warm and loving expression. She let out a chuckle or two. “Good. I was starting to think you already needed me to leave for another nation again.” 

Aneka tried her best to give off the same lighthearted emotion, but failed as her eyebrows creased in worry. 

Ramonda entered the room finally, trading her more uncomfortable pieces of clothing for some more homely attire. 

Once in the clear, she announced her decency to Aneka, who further let herself into the room. She watched as the queen went about looking around at where she’d place everything for later on in the night, and the thing that had been on the tip of her tongue seemingly since the royal figure had arrived finally came to the surface. 

“You know, Queen Ramonda… there was actually-” She stopped when the queen looked directly at her with intrigue. Suddenly feeling the weight of her impending words. “There was something that I meant to inform you of when you first arrived. Something about when you were gone.” 

“The Dora didn’t wreck another one of the training rooms, did they?  Ramonda laughed to herself, clearly not noting down the tension building in the room.

“No,” Aneka tried to laugh off with her, but then realised that she needed to get to it before she missed her chance, “It’s about Y/n.” 

Now, Ramonda was focused. “What about her?” 

“Do you remember how you told us to keep an eye on her for the first few days just to make sure that she was okay?” 

Ramonda nodded at the question. 

“Well, we did that. Or at least I did that. I always did a morning, afternoon and evening visit just to see how she was coping. But after a few mornings, I noticed that I would catch her coming into your room rather than leaving.”

“Like she was waking up early?” 

“No. Like she was breaking back in after sneaking out.” Aneka clarified. Ramonda’s expression grew serious at this implication. 

“So what you’re trying to say is…”

“What I'm trying to say is that I don't think Y/n spent a single night here after you left. I didn’t ask her, so I could be wrong, but I think she went back to her house by the river.”

Ramonda sounded speechless, “I thought she sold that place.” 

“I did too, but according to the people who lived near her, that place was never sold.” Aneka went on to explain, as she’d spent a significant amount of time talking to farther away residents of the river. People who likely lived closer to your old home than they did to her and Ayo’s. 

Aneka approached Ramonda in worry now that the news was out. Fearing that she’d grow sick from stress. Instead of welcoming the approach though, Ramonda waved her off. “I’m okay, Aneka. I just- I need time to think about this. You can have the rest of the day off. I’ll sort all of this out.” 

“Should I still tell the others to leave this side of the-'' Aneka asked, unsure of whether this meant the date was cancelled. 

“Yes. Everything will proceed as intended. I just need some time with her. Alone." She emphasised, feeling herself grow more uneasy at her own assertion. 

The still worried Dora Milaje nodded, crossing her arms over her chest once before leaving the room.

Without the added presence, Ramonda felt herself starting to see the room she was in with a new perspective. She sat on a chair, looking at the grandly sized place in its totality. 

It was clean. It smelt of potpourri. Strong potpourri. The type of strong that could only be achieved for a few minutes after a deep clean. Before the scents would shift to more signature ones owned by the bodies that entered the room. 

That scent wouldn’t be there had you been living there. Not unless there had just been a deep clean, and as far as the queen knew, that wasn't on schedule for the day. 

Looking then at the bed and the tables that laid on each side of them, she had another realisation. The drawers, the tables, the bed; they all looked untouched. Not lived in. 

Had she been so caught up in wanting to make you feel at home that she'd slowly chased you away? That had to be the answer. You told her everything. She'd have known if you had affairs to attend to that required weeks of sleeping elsewhere. 

Though her mind briefly thought of possible infidelity, she took that off the list of possibilities faster than the time that the idea took to formulate. This matter didn't involve anybody but the two of you.

This was a personal matter. 

And if Ramonda knew one thing about confronting personal matters with you, she knew that it took 3 things. Time, patience, and a little nudge.

Tonight would indeed proceed as she'd intended. This date would be her nudge. 

She just hoped she wouldn't push you too far. 

“Hm.” Ramonda heard you sigh next to her. She looked in your direction, a smile spreading across her lips as she watched you try to form words. 

“What?” She asked, eager to know what that hum meant. 

“Nothing,” you laughed, your hand finding hers instinctively. “I just didn’t think this would have been your favourite movie.” you pointed your head towards the tv screen that showed a stream of naming credits relating to the movie you’d watched. 

“What did you expect, my love?” She questioned, raising your intertwined hands to her lips; kissing them gently. 

You felt yourself shift closer to her warm body, leaving a large gap on the side of that bed that you’d been on only moments before. You snuggled up close to her, cuddling her as you looked at your intertwined hands. 

“I didn’t expect anything, specifically. I just didn’t think romantic comedies were your thing.” 

Ramonda let out a full belly chuckle. Short, direct, but loving. Kind of how she'd been the entire night.

“Don’t I look like the romantic type?” she asked, and after being met with your playful hesitation, “I planned this beautiful date, didn't I?” you nodded at that. 

“And it was good, wasn’t it?” 

You looked up at her, the distance between your lips suddenly becoming noticeable to you. And though you knew she was asking the question matter-a-factly, your want to kiss her after the effort she’d put into the day felt like the most appropriate answer.

Your eyes being fixed on said lips told her everything she needed to know about how you liked the day, but still she waited. Wanting to hear it from you directly. 

“You did, sthandwa sam. And it was a good date.” 

WIth your stamp of approval, she relented, letting her excited smile escape from its regular confinement.

You had a feeling that she'd wanted to get everything just right tonight. And though you’d been dating for a while, you knew that she still felt that hesitation that surrounded you all the time. You sensed how much she wanted to give you a day where none of that hesitation was needed.

You hoped that the way you’d been looking at her all day gave her some type of reassurance that she'd done her duty well. You hoped it made her feel certain enough to ignore whatever she might have heard from the others. 

You'd seen Aneka and Okoye speaking when you'd first seen Ramonda earlier, and although all your attention went to your fiancée, you weren't as oblivious as she was in relation to what they were likely talking about. 

Okoye had gone down the same hall path as you, choosing to catch up to you when you'd both left the conversation. 

"General Okoye." You nodded and smiled at her as you walked. 

"Y/n." She acknowledged. 

You subtly tried to attempt walking at a brisker speed, failing to do so without catching the General’s attention. She matched your pace at every increase, even letting out a few chuckles at your sad attempt to get away from her. 

"Do you need something, General?" you asked, finding yourself slowing down to accommodate a comfortable walking conversation. 

"No, but I feel inclined to ask you that same question." 

"If I need something?" 

"Mhm." She nodded. 

"Well, I don't believe that I do." 

She looked at you sceptically,  "Is that so?" 

You were nearly at the doors to the palace, knowing that this conversation had to get somewhere if you wanted to make it back on time for the rest of your work shift. 

You fully stopped walking, turning to Okoye, who did the same. "Does it look like my answer should be on the contrary?" You huffed, getting frustrated. 

"That's not my place to say. What is my place to say, however, is that whatever you may or may not have needed while the queen was gone was observed by more than just yourself." She pointed in the direction of where you'd left Ramonda and Aneka. 

"I don't know what it is that happened, but my advice to you would be to give her details before she starts coming to her own conclusions." 

She left you with only that, a soft smile of concern planted on her face as she went on with her required duties. 

That one sentence had sent chills down your spine, your mind stuck on it for the remainder of your afternoon, and most of your night. 

Now, you still thought of what she'd meant. On whether it was what you thought she meant. That you'd been found out in that one way that you'd somehow kept secret for so long. 

Now, looking at how late it was, your anxiety grew to its peak. 

That old hesitation that you'd been trying to hide for the whole night caught wind again, strengthening enough to peek through your once smiling face. Now a frown plastered itself on your lips. 

“It’s getting late.” you said bluntly. More to yourself than to her.

“Are you tired, sthandwa?" Ramonda asked, drawing. circles on your arm with her free hand. 

You nodded. 

“We can go to sleep if you'd like. Three movies seems like more than enough for one night.” She smiled at you again, loosening her hold on you to pack everything up for the night. You watched as she rose from bed, watching you with those always loving eyes. You felt a sudden pit of anxiety seeing it. A feeling that needed immediate confrontation. 

“I’ll pack these away.” you said, getting up from where you were and grabbing the uneaten snacks from the side tables ready to go out of the door with them. 

“It's fine. I’ll just take-.” you heard her start to say, but you were already halfway out of the door before she could finish. You raced down the hall of your section of the dwelling, finding that your mind was working on autopilot getting you where you needed to go. 

You moved through the halls, tears threatening to fall already as you made your way to the kitchen. 

You heard a few muffled mentions of your name coming from where you'd just been but its lack of volume increase gave you enough information to know that Ramonda wasn’t approaching you. 

You still had time.  

You rushed around, finding yourself in the kitchen putting everything where you remembered it usually sat. 

Heart racing, you felt yourself getting to one of the spare bathrooms. Going straight to the sink, you finally got the first look at yourself for the night, and one thing was very clear. You were panicked. 

"It's just sleep." You said, trying to ration with yourself. 

"Just sleep." You said it more than a few times, thinking, hoping that one of the attempts would end in you believing yourself. Hoping that one of them would end in you having the epiphany of a lifetime, where it all clicked and it really was just sleep. 

Instead, though, when the repeated words hit the +10 mark, one of them ended in tears. Hot tears that burned your eyes getting out and left an even hotter feeling on your cheeks as they rushed down. 

Old memories of life in the palace before Ramonda left came to mind. All the nights where you pretended to sleep just so she wouldn't worry. Where you pretended to have been well rested every morning just so she'd go on with her day not being worried about you. Where you hid in corners soothing yourself when you had chosen to sleep, only to be met with nightmares that woke you up anyway. 

With all those feelings still fresh, you knew that you couldn't go back to that. Telling her wasn't an option but hiding it from her wasn’t either. 

"I need to go." you opened the tap, letting water rush into your cupped hands before you brought your hands to your face, letting the water wash over you. The cold temperature of it reset your body, the tears slowing down and your breathing stabling. 

The water did nothing for your unbalanced mind, though. You were still set on your words. You were leaving. 

You wiped your face down with a towel, washed your hands and left the room, contemplating whether to let Ramonda know you weren’t staying or not. 

You heavily considered it, even walking in the direction of your room, but at the last minute, you turned, deciding that it wasn't worth the trouble. You weren't worth the trouble. 

I'll be back; you told yourself. 

You'd come back tomorrow and you'd tell her that something came up and you had to go. You doubted that she'd believe you but it would be better to do that than tell her the truth. 

Reaching the front entrance of the palace, you found yourself more overwhelmed than relieved, feeling more weight on your shoulders. You walked around, finding yourself nearing the garden. Off to a corner you saw a bench. The one that you'd discovered all those months ago. The one you’d sat on most nights while Ramonda slept. 

You sat, gripping the edges of your seat as a means to ground yourself. You were in no shape to get yourself all the way to the river province. Your best solution was to sit there for a while. 

You thought about how ridiculous you were being, avoiding the love of your life all because of something as trivial as nightmares. But it wasn't nearly as simple as that. 

There was that history. That poisonous history with the person who had broken you in ways that never felt fixed all the way. 

Ramonda was nothing like your ex. She was kind and gentle where your ex was rude and aggressive. She was patient where your ex was short tempered. She was genuinely loving where your ex was hateful with a fake loving disguise. 

Ramonda was everything you needed her to be, and yet somehow that only made you feel less worthy of her. 

Don’t leave. Don‘t leave. Don’t leave; you tried to tell yourself 

But at the back of your mind the words that plagued your body during the day and terrorised your mind at night were seemingly always the strongest opponent in the battle. 

Just leave, just leave, just leave; they used to say. Reminding you of how disposable you were to your ex. If you were disposable to them, then what difference was it to Ramonda? A queen. You were an inconvenience at best. 

You’d always heard of people saying that past relationships could ruin your perception of love and life, but they always said it got better.

For you, that wasn’t the case, because if it were, you wouldn't be sitting there, years after you’d escaped, with the same words still running through your mind. 

You wouldn’t be fearing the thought of sleeping every night and you wouldn't be hiding from the woman you loved trying to come up with more lies to tell her. 

Tears were once again forming. 

"My love?" You jumped at Ramonda's voice, startled more at her sudden appearance than you were of her serious tone.

You turned, looking up. Another fake smile being thrown her way. 

“I'm okay.” You said before she could even ask. You wiped at your face instinctively, knowing that the tears would come down and expose your words as being false. 

She approached you slowly, going down to sit next to you. 

"Sthandwa sam, what's going on?" She was resorting back to the way she spoke to you when you were still in the early days of dating. Lacing her voice with the once emotion that got you to open up. Desperation. 

"I thought I'd be back tomorrow." You said, and though you knew that the thought of you wanting to leave probably hurt her, she still held you as you found yourself placing your head on her shoulder. Needing to feel that sense of safety. 

This small action was monumental. Not completely untouched territory, but unfelt. Unexperienced by you. 

It’d taken months to convince you to let her show you that she could love you. It took twice as long for you to truly believe her when she said she did. 

If there was one thing she knew about you, it was how long it took you to ease up your walls when it came to romance, and how easily you backed away whenever you were even slightly unsure of yourself. She didn’t want what was supposed to be a good day to end up becoming the reason you were 10 steps backwards in your trust again. And you knew that she was fighting to keep you for that reason alone.

You knew that if she let you leave, this version of you wouldn’t be the one to come back to her. It would be a more deceptive one. One that was better at executing your lies. 

In all 3 years of your partnership, you'd never resisted the temptation to leave like you did now. You'd never been sick of the deception like you were now. 

“I-” Ramonda ran through her mind trying to find something, anything to say.

“Are we okay?” she asked, because she needed to know. You failing to leave didn't mean that you wanted to stay. 

“Sthandwa sam,” you sighed. All previous desires that you’d had to go without explanation flying out of the window at those words. Words you knew all too well. 

You sat closer to her, not even a centimetre separating you. “We’re okay.” you reassured her. 

A sigh of relief left her system, though she tried to make it seem unintentional. 

“Today was perfect. You’re perfect.” you started, “I don’t want to go. But, I have- ” you stopped yourself there. 

“You have what?” she asked.

“I can't.” you said, suddenly realising that your excuse lacked validity. 

“What’s wrong?” She said in a tone so gentle, you nearly melted. 

You tried to smile it off, “It’s nothing.” 

Not taking that, she led her hand to your cheek, cupping your face.

“It’s not nothing.” she counter-argued. The glistening of your eyes told her that much. 

“It's nothing reasonable. I mean.” 

“So tell me…” 

Breathless now, you couldn’t take your eyes off hers.

“I’m not a good sleeper.” you kept it brief. 

Ramonda, though sceptical, felt her expression soften. “Meaning?” 

“I’m restless and I wouldn’t want to disturb your sleep.”

“I can handle a little disruption.” She smirked. 

“I wouldn’t call it little, Ramonda.”

“Well you've never disturbed me before. Why are suddenly worried about that now?” 

You fell silent then, your body still with fear. Before you knew it, she was wiping tears away. 

Embarrassed, anxious, and all other types of uncomfortable, you tried to get away from her, standing up.

“Please- don’t leave.” you heard. Again, it was firm and confident. But it was also thinly laced with a concern for you that only Ramonda possessed. 

Your mind rushed with memories of earlier in the day. When you’d arrived back at the palace after work only to be greeted by just Ramonda. No Dora, no crown. Just the figure of her that bore no burden other than loving you. 

That burden showed more that she’d have liked to admit. And though she always heavily denied that it was just that - a burden- something always rang at the back of your mind, telling you that she was lying. That she was holding the world up trying to please you and it was weighing her down more than ruling an entire country ever could. 

Still, with that she welcomed you into her world once again. Knowing that you had one foot out of the door from the very beginning, but still holding some hope that maybe you’d choose to let the one inside the door lead you. 

With a calming day indoors, filled with your usual banter and conversation. You knew that she thought it was going well. In your heart, you wanted it to be going well too. But that cloud of doubt never ceased to exist above you. 

 “I’m sorry.” you said. You were chuckling at yourself now, swiftly wiping your tears away before taking a deep breath in. 

"I'm a mess and I can't tell you why." You lied again, deciding to pile on as many as you could now. 

She stood up, "Come inside, my love. It'd be much easier to work this out without being in the cold." You couldn't disagree, nodding acceptingly, allowing her to wrap her arms around you and lead you back inside. 

You can’t leave now. You'll have to wait until she makes you go. Which won’t take long; you thought.

She guided you inside of your room, letting you settle yourself on your side of the bed before sitting next to you. 

You sat in an uncomfortable silence, Ramonda waiting to let you calm down more. When you seemed more stable, but you still refused to say anything, she sighed looking up at the ceiling. 

"Aneka told me that you still have your old place by the river." She started. Your focus immediately went to her, her hand rushing to find hers. She let you hold her hand, but still she couldn't look at you. 

"Is it true?"

"It's not lik-" you started, sighing and trying again, "Yes." Now she looked at you.

"My love...” You heard her whisper. 

"It's not you. It's never been you." 

"Then what is it?" 

"It's… it's… complicated" 

You spoke like you were ready to leave.

"I've got all night. We can uncomplicate it." 

"I don't think it could really work like that, sthandwa." 

“Why won’t you at least try to tell me so I can see for myself whether that is true?”

“Because if I do, and I am right, it’ll break me 10 times more than the first time.” 

“What was the first time?” 

Tired of the back and forth, and quite frankly tired of the secrets, you relented. "I have these nightmares…" you started to explain it all to her. From the very beginning. 

You described the memories of you and your ex. The moments where the love that you had built suddenly turned into hate from them. How you could feel your uncertainty about them build up overtime. And how that feeling of safety that you'd often had before, faded into a mere foreign concept. 

You told her about the worst days. When the abusive and toxic nature of the relationship had started to seep into your mind, flooding your thoughts even when you were far away from them. 

You continued as Ramonda held you closely, listening to your every word.  

"When I left, the nightmares started. Heightened memories of our worst days. The days when their words got to me the most. I stopped feeling safe entirely. My life, dictated by their words. I lost control of myself.” You wiped away your now, few tears, finding yourself thinking about the good that came after all that you’d been through. 

“Then you came along. And you made me feel… wanted. You made me feel like I wasn't as bad of a person to deal with. Like my existence wasn’t a hindrance. 

And for so long I hoped that that would be enough. That your love would wash away all of the bad nights and I'd be fully at peace for once. But it's never that simple. I still have those nightmares.” 

Ramonda only held you closer now, feeling the weight of the burden you’d been carrying. 

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she asked gently. Not angry, but curious. 

“I didn’t tell you because it would make you think that I wasn’t happy. That you don’t make me happy and Bast, Ramonda, you make me more happy than anybody I’ve ever crossed paths with. I never for a moment wanted you to think that all your loving actions were in vain. I still don’t want you to.” 

That final admission, where you felt yourself become your most vulnerable, was like a release in the chain of bad events that had happened to you in your life. It made you feel more than any other day with Ramonda ever had. 

It felt better than the day you’d gone on your first date. Or the day she’d proposed to you with the sweetest speech you’d ever heard. It was more than all the gifts she’d gotten you and all the late night conversations you’d had. 

It was so much more, because this time, you were finally able to give her the honesty that you’d longed to give her all this time. This time, you were putting your fear of hurting her feelings aside in an attempt to give her the reassurance that you trusted her. 

That relief of being able to subtly say those words; I trust you. That was special. 

You laid there, watching her process it all, and for a moment, even with your relief, you felt yourself begin to panic. Maybe it was too much. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn't have said all of that.” 

“No. I’m glad you did. I’m glad you don’t have to keep it to yourself anymore.” she said, “I’m sorry you felt like you had to keep that in for so long.” 

“Don’t apologise. It has nothing to do with you.” 

“But it has everything to do with you. And anything that has to do with you is immediately something I want to know.” she looked at you with the faintest smile on her face, her signal to you that told you she wasn’t mad. 

“I want to be here for all your moments, sthandwa sam. I want to celebrate your good news with you and I want to cry at your bad news just as intensely. You’re worth every minute of sleep that I lose at the hands of holding you after those nightmares.” 

Hearing that, you tried to shake your head in disagreement. 

“No I’m no-”

“Yes you are Y/n.” she kissed your hand tenderly. 

“I don’t expect you to believe me just yet, but I’m willing to let you know that you are, over and over again. I’m willing to hold you as close to me as you need every night until the day I die. I’ll do it all if it means you’ll feel safe again.” 

You were left speechless, trying to find the words to respond to that, but honestly you knew that you wouldn’t be able to. She meant every word, and you felt every bit of her emotion. 

With your hand still in hers, she settled herself in bed, looking at you as you watched her hesitantly. 

“Let me hold you tightly… and let me choose to never let go.” she said. 

Hours later, when you felt yourself begin to stir awake, your heart racing as yet another night terror played itself out in your head, you felt yourself rising up. 

Opening your eyes, and finding tears in them, you wiped them away in embarrassment. 

More doubt crept up in you, and once again, the odds seemed to be stacked against you. 

There was no way this could all work. 

You were just too much. 

When you tried to rise up from bed, wanting to get your things and leave, you felt an arm touch yours. 

You looked down, seeing what you’d previously thought would be a sleeping Ramonda, definitely awake. 

She laid, watching you with barely awake eyes. You’d clearly woken her up. 

“I’m sorry.” you apologised. 

But when you thought you’d be met with anger, or pity, you were only met with a warm and welcoming expression, Ramonda sitting up and opening her arms to you. 

“Come here.” she said, waiting patiently but firmly. 

You were slow, but after a few deep breaths, you found yourself drawn to her touch, wanting that protection. 

Her warm embrace seemed to ease your mind for the first time in a while. Her presence calmed you, and you felt cared for in a completely new way. 

“It’s you and me, my love. I can assure you that you will never have to wake up without me by your side to ease your worry. My arms are your new home to know forever. They will be here whenever you need them. And I will always be here for you.” 

[dmysterioblog]

Can you do a dark Queen Romanda after the death of t’Chaka she is after she will lose reader who was her best friend since they were infants so she gets one of the Dora milajes to kidnap her and keep her in her corridors were no one is allowed and can you add some smut and thank you.

➺ For Your Own Good

Paring; dark!soft!Queen Ramonda x Reader

Summary: “When she was told of her husband’s death she was devastated of course, but the first thing on her mind was you. She couldn’t let another person she loved to get killed, not under her watch. She thought the best way to keep you safe was to have you with her at all times, whether you liked it or not.”

Warnings: kidnapping, smut, death (T’Chaka) and fluff.

Word Count: 1.2k

A/n: I hope this is what you wanted!

You and Ramonda have always been close since you were kids in the river tribe. At some point during the friendship she had fallen in love with you and you did too but the romance was cut short when Ramonda found out she was being married off to the soon–to–be king, T’Chaka. It was a devastating moment for both of you. Before Ramonda left, she promised you she would never stop loving you and that she would always keep an eye on you and gave you one last kiss before boarding the ship. While her marriage with T’Chaka was arranged, she learned to love him but that love would never exceed her love for you.

♤♧♡♢

Years passed and Ramonda always found a way to see you, even if it was from afar. She always had a Dora watching you at all times to make sure you were safe. No one knew about you, only the Dora Ramonda sent knew about you and she made sure they wouldn’t say anything.

When she was told of her husband’s death she was devastated of course, but the first thing on her mind was you. She couldn’t let another person she loved to get killed, not under her watch. She thought the best way to keep you safe was to have you with her at all times, whether you liked it or not.

♤♧♡♢

Ramonda was in the throne room when she summoned the general of the Dora Milaje, Okoye.

“Kumkanikazi, you summoned me?”

“Yes, I need you to retrieve someone and I want you to be discreet.”

“Who am I retrieving?”

“I need you to bring me Y/n. She is in the river tribe. Do whatever you have to do but make sure no one sees you come in with her. When you do bring her here, take her to my private chambers. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, yam Kumkanikazi.” Okoye bowed and left the throne room to retrieve you.

♤♧♡♢

You were in your room when you heard a knock at the door. When you opened the door you were greeted by whom you thought was a Dora Milaje.

“Um hi? How can I help you?”

“I’ve come to take you to the palace.”

“Says who?”

“I was given specific instructions to be discreet about this. So, I cannot say.”

“Well then I am not going anywhere,” you said firmly.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“Goodbye,” you tried to close the door but Okoye put her spear in between the door and door frame so you couldn’t close it.

“What is your-” before you could finish your sentence you felt her place something on your temple and you blacked out.

♤♧♡♢

When you woke up, you found yourself laying on a giant bed in a very spacious room. You sat up confused about how you got there until all the memories from yesterday started flowing back. You in your room, the knock at the door, the Dora, and then all black. You started to panic but then the door to the room opened to reveal Ramonda.

“Ramonda? What's going on?” you asked in a panicked voice. She came closer and sat on the bed with her arms open for you to come closer. You, still confused, went to her embrace and felt a bit relieved.

“Calm down, ingelosi. I'm here to protect you.”

“Protect me? From who?”

“You know the people who killed T’Chaka?,” you nodded, “They are trying to take you away from me too,” she finished saying. She knew it was wrong to lie to you but she wouldn’t let you leave, she couldn’t. She pulled you impossibly closer to her and kissed your head.

“Who are those bad people?”

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore because you have me,” she pulled away and cupped your face, “and I have you right? You’re mine?” she asked, looking at you in the most loving way possible and you nodded again.

“Use your words, sithandwa.”

“Yes, I am yours,” you said with no hesitation. She smiled and gave you a long and passionate kiss, “All mine,” she mumbled in the kiss. She slowly started to push you to lay down on the bed while she got on top of you, all without stopping the kiss.

“Can I take this off honey?” she asked, referring to the green dress you were wearing. You nodded but she raised her eyebrow and you understood she needed verbal consent.

“Yes,” you said.

She started peeling the dress off of your body, taking her time and putting it aside. She caressed your body with her hands and started kissing each part she could find. She kissed your neck and your chest, before making her way down your body with her tongue. You had your eyes closed, loving every second of it.

When she got to where you needed her the most, she stopped which made you open your eyes. When you made eye contact, she licked a stipe up your pussy which made your release a loud moan. She kept licking your pussy and you threw your head back in pleasure. You felt yourself coming closer to the edge and your breath started to pick up.

“Ramonda- I’m close,” you said in an agitated voice, with your hands gripping the bed sheets.

“Are you going to cum for me, nkosazana?”

“Yes, yes. Please don’t stop.” She kept going and then inserted two fingers thrusting them fast, hitting your g-spot.

“Who do you belong to now, sithandwa? Hm?” you tried to respond but you were caught up in the immense amount of pleasure. When you didn’t respond she slowed down and you whined. She went up your body all the way to your ear.

“Tell me usana or ill stop altogether,” she whispered.

“You! You! I belong to you! Please let me cum, please?”

“Good girl,” she praised and sped up again. She went down again and started to suck on your swollen clit. That got you over the edge. She came up to your ear and whispered sweet nothings while still thrusting her fingers to let you ride your high. You closed your legs around her hand from the overstimulation.

“Is too much-” you whimpered. She pulled her hand away and shushed you with a kiss. You moved closer to her, laying your head on her chest.

“When will I be able to leave, Ramonda?” she tensed at your question.

“You can’t leave, ingelosi. How can I protect you if I don't have you by my side, hm? This is for your own good.”

“But-”

“But nothing. I can't lose you too.” That made you go silent for a second.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked such a dumb question.” you kissed her neck.

“Shh, it's ok nkosazana. Get some rest, you're probably tired,” she said before kissing your forehead. You nodded and cuddled closer to her, hiding your face in her neck. Soon enough, you felt your eyes get heavy, the warmth of her body lulling you to sleep. She heard your soft snoring and she smiled knowing she finally had you all to herself.

[cafehyunji]

Moonlight

Description: You both have wants, needs and desires. But what will it take for you both to take on these emotions? (Semi proofread..?)

Content: dom!reader, Sub!shuri, fluff, smut, oral (shuri receiving), small amount of angst,

Translations: Sthandwa sami - My Love, Kumkanikazi - Queen, Intoni Ingxakhi - What's Wrong?, Sthandwa - Baby

A/N: Hey y'all! sorry about how long it took me to post this story, with dealing with family stuff, school work, and editing. I didn't have time to continue working on it, but now that I'm now kinda in a better place. here is the finished product!

Playlist: Spotify Apple Music Musi

When you see the symbol (*) play the third song on the playlist…

The wakandan city view in the moonlight always captivates you, the moon, and its light, shining brightly among everything in its path, showcasing the beauty of the semi-known country. Being the queen's lover, you have the pleasure of seeing a well-rumored beauty instead of hearing about it, seeing the aura that the city thrives from the love and joy of the people. 

You hear the door open and take notice of the time, noting that your partner has returned late once again. "hello my love" whispering from the dark and quiet atmosphere, still viewing the people passing by below you. "you’re late, again." Still staring at the faint, but the alive nightlife of the city below you. "I know, and I’m sorry." Coming over to the balcony where you’re slouched over the railing, you straighten yourself up and turn around to look at her.

"This is the fourth time Shuri." You gave her a look of disappointment and disapproval. “I know and I’m sorry,” Putting her hands on your waist, pecking you on the lips. “Let me make it up to you hm?” Moving to the neck. “Shuri, this isn’t how this works” Stopping her and walking back into the room adapting to the now comforting heat that your body missed while standing out in the brisk air. Most of the time when Shuri came back late, and tried to “make it up to you” it would end up in Shuri, making love to you, but you were tired of that. You wanted to be in control and you wanted to see her beg for you. You wanted her to mean what she said, and so. You did. 

••• 

After winding down and changing, you and Shuri haven’t spoken one word to each other. Only taking glances when either of you is not looking, you both gather into bed with Shuri trying to sleep, and you try to read away the situation at hand. While you read Shuri rolls over, and stares at you, “intoni ingxakni?” still looking at the book. “Nothing” Staring at you with now eyes filled with lust. “lies, what is it'' Finally flipping to a new page, “nothing, just thinking about something.” Biting her lip, roaming her hands anywhere she can on your body. You stop reading and pull her face close to yours. “What are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours hm?” Kissing along her neck sloppily. “Fuck. I need you,” You look up at her what used to be her brown eyes, now filled with lust.

 “Please, my love. Touch me”. *

You close the gap with ease, kissing each other with passion. One is passion and lust, and the other is passion and raw love. You pull on the hem of her nightshirt, telling her to take it off. Once it is off you break the kiss and look her up and down, taking in every part of her before she crumbles right in front of you. You continue to kiss her neck, earning a slight moan and whimper from the girl. To say the least, you have never seen her like this; you have never seen her so fragile.

 You move down her body, making sure you kiss every spot on her body you can before latching onto one of her breasts, pulling her nipple into your mouth while fondling the other. This was enough to put her over the edge, but you didn’t care. After playing with her breast for a while, she began to become impatient. You listen to small whimpers turn into larger ones, “what is it Sthandwa?” “say it with your words my love.” Slightly smirking. Waiting for her to say something, “please fuck me. I cannot wait any longer.” You laugh at her cries of desperation to be touched. “So impatient of you kumkanikazi” You smirk, “we're just getting started.” You move your attention down her body, getting into her wetness and kissing her inner thigh slowly, softly making her squirm and quickly closing her legs. “open them.” Forcing her legs back open into their previous position. You moved back to her wetness, seeing a wet spot on her briefs. You started taking them off inch-by-inch slowly, making her suffer slightly longer. You get them off and throw them across the room and begin stroking her slit with your index. “all of this for me?” glancing up at her, and then back to the pool created between her folds. “Only you, sthandwa sami.” Smirking the question slightly. You move your finger and replace it with your tongue. Licking in between her folds causing her to moan. “Fuck” Elongating the word till there's nothing left to elongate. 

In collaboration with your tongue, you added a finger to the pool of her wetness. “Fuck, Y/n right there. Please.” Moaning into the feeling of your finger pulsating in and out of her. Adding in another finger, you feel Shuri’s walls clench around both of them “I-I’m coming, please d-don’t stop” Rolling her hips to the rhythm of your fingers, moving closer and closer to her edge. “That’s it baby, come for me. Come on my face for me.” You suck her clit harder than before, causing her to hit her edge. Her moans paint the room, like music to your ears as you continue to suck and lick on her sensitive clit, helping her ride her orgasm out.

©cafehyunji 2023

[letitiaslabyrinth]

DIDN'T DESERVE | PART TWO

warnings: feels. like a lot of them. talks about mental and emotional abuse. Shuri goes o f f. angst, angst ending in fluff, y'all get a happy ending this time dw pairing: Shuriri word count: 2.5k A/N: LISTENNNNNNNNN I know I'm late with this alright? I knowww but I'm here now so 😭 also my bad for dipping for like a week? maybe more than that but I'm gonna be honest this fic was kicking my ass cause I was going through a lot while tryna write. needless to say there's so much projecting in this it's c r a z y. anyways even tho this took me so long, im still not satisfied with the ending but i digress since i need sumn to give yall ignore any and all mistakes cause this isnt proof read.

It had been a month since Riri told Shuri she wasn't going to forgive her and it had been the worst month of both of their lives.

Shuri had basically overwhelmed herself with her work in the lab. She never left—she practically slept there most nights. 

It's not that Shuri had things to fix with the suits, hell, she didn't even bother looking at them because they reminded her of Riri, but she needed something to keep her hands and mind busy so she just worked on small projects.

People started to notice, obviously, but nobody said anything. It’s not that they didn’t want to, it’s the fact that they knew Shuri wouldn’t listen. She was in her own world right now—her own safe space and anybody who tried to break her out of it in any way would be yelled at. 

Okoye walks into the lab, rushing to Shuri’s side as she almost falls over. “kumkanikazi wam kufuneka uphumle," (My queen you must rest) she says, helping Shuri sit down.

“I’m fine, Okoye.” Shuri brushes her off and tries to stand, only to nearly collapse for a second time. Okoye sits her down again.

“You have buried yourself in your technology for the past month, Shuri. You are hurting your body.”

Shuri sits there for a second. Her head drops, making her sit up straight. “Alright, maybe, I should take a nap-”

“In your own bed,” Okoye interrupts.

“Yes, in my own bed, Okoye.” Shuri rolls her eyes in fake annoyance before leaving to go to her room.

Once she’s there, she takes a shower first. The water feels so nice against her skin that she doesn't wanna get out. 

Over an hour later, Shuri stepped out of the shower. She wrapped her towel around her body and made her way to her bedroom. She dried herself off and put on a pair of clothes then sat on her bed. It was quiet. She didn’t know how to feel with no foreign noise or voice in the background. Shuri shakes her head and puts her phone on her bedside table. That’s when she sees it. In the crevasse between the bed and the night stand was a photo. Shuri picked it up. It was a picture of her and Imani. It was their first date. Shuri can feel tears starting to form and puts the picture down. She closes her eyes and wraps her arms around her chest, slightly rocking side to side. She hasn't taken any time for herself since her breakup with Imani and now that she was, it… actually, Shuri didn’t know how she felt. At least, not exactly. Yes, she was hurt. Yes, she was upset, but what else? Imani had put Shuri through so much mental and emotional manipulation that even when they broke up Shuri didn’t realize it. Shuri doesn’t know if she should feel relieved now that she knows or not. In all honesty, realizing that she was basically nothing more than a plaything for Imani to control, realizing all the sleepless night and petty arguments would only ever end in Shuri apologizing whether she was in the wrong or not, realizing that her and Imani did have something real before things went south, it hurt.

Over the five years that they’ve known each other, they’ve broken up and gotten back together again a number of times. Shuri knew she shouldn’t have given in to Imani when she told Shuri that she had changed but Shuri missed her. I mean, could you blame her? Imani wasn’t the only person in their relationship and she wasn’t the only one who made the mistakes.

This breakup was different, though. It was final. Shuri and Imani had had an actual conversation, over text, about their relationship. Of course, Shuri had been the one who reached out first but when Imani told her she was tired of going back and forth, that was it. She left her alone.

Memories of how they were before they made anything official ran through Shuri’s mind. The midnight calls that would end up with Shuri falling asleep first because of how safe she felt with Imani. The constant texting and inside jokes they had with each other that no one else understood. The sound of her voice, her sweet, pretty smile that she always flashed at the camera, the future plans they had made with each other. Shuri had felt like she had met her true love, her first love. Ironic, huh? That the first person she ever dated would be the same person she would be with five, ten, twenty years later. Shuri had opened up to Imani about so many things. Things she would deny if somebody had asked her about it. Yes, Imani was Shuri’s first girlfriend but she made Shuri feel like they would never leave each other. Like they would stay together forever.

Shuri’s phone buzzes, the sound freeing her from her own mind. She lets herself go and wipes the tears she didn’t even realize had fallen. 

Ima ❤️

iMessage

Shuri dropped her phone. She got up, pacing around her room. So many questions started falling into her head all at once. She couldn’t think. She could hear her heartbeat in her-

Incoming call from Ima red heart

Shuri gasps, “Fuck!” 

Tears swelled her eyes. Why was Imani reaching out now? Just when Shuri was trying to start her healing process. Shuri sunk to the floor, head in her lap, hands over her head. She let her ringtone play out but even when it stopped she didn’t make any efforts to move.

She ended up sleeping there

Shuri hears Okoye’s voice when she starts waking up. Okoye’s shaking her and checking her vitals with her kimoyo beads.

“Okoye, I’m fine,” Shuri groans. Her side hurts from the way she slept but she barely even remembers sleeping.

“My queen, you have a visitor downstairs in the common area,” Okoye says.

Shuri prayed to Bast that it was Riri instead of Imani. "Tell them I'll be down in a second."

Okoye nods once before leaving.

"Imani?" Shuri says, causing her to turn around. She looks… different. A good different. But Shuri won't let herself fall for that trick again. "Why're you here?"

"I came to apologize." Her voice is different, too. It sounds more mature than Shuri remembered. "I was tryna reach out to you last night so that we could actually schedule a day that you weren't busy so I could come by but you didn't answer so I figured an apology in person would be better."

Shuri keeps her guard up while Imani talks, her arms folded over chest. "I don't forgive you."

Imani stays quiet for a few seconds. "What? Shuri, I said I was sorry."

"Yeah, and I do not forgive you. You put me through hell, Imani, and I know you didn't seriously come here thinking that those two words would make you forgive you for everything. And, to be honest, I would tell you how fucked up in the head I am because of you, but knowing you, you'd probably use it against me in the future, if we even talk. So, why don't you just save both of our time and tell me why you're really here."

"Fine." Imani takes a deep breath. "I wanna try this again. I know I hurt you, and I am sorry, Shuri, I was going through a lot at the time we were dating and I projected my emotions onto you, which I shouldn't have. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I can't live without you."

"Then don't," Shuri shrugs.

"What?"

"Live without me."

Imani smiles. "I knew you'd understand -”

"Oh, no no," Shuri cuts her off, shaking her head. "I'm not saying we can get back together, Ima, I'm telling you to kill yourself. You know, since you can't live without me, just don't bother living at all."

"Shuri, what the fuck? What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me is that my ex-girlfriend who mentally and emotionally abused me for years came into my house uninvited, gave a half-ass apology where she tried to turn herself into the victim, and then had the balls to ask me to get back together. That's what's wrong with me. You've ruined so many friendships I had and now thanks to you, I can't get them back. You knew I had never dated a girl before and you took advantage of that." Shuri raises her finger as Imani was about to say something. "And before you say it, no, we cannot just move on like we've done in the past. I deserve someone better than you. Someone who doesn't treat me like shit and doesn't ruin relationships I have with people just because they're insecure about themselves. So, do us both a favor and get the hell up outta my house. And if you can't find the exit on your own, Okoye and the other Dora will gladly help you." Just as the words left her mouth, Okoye and a few other Dora Milaje soldiers came from the shadows, spooking Imani.

"This isn't over, Shuri," Imani says while she's being rushed out. "You'll come running back!-”

"Oh, for bast's sake," Okoye says, rolling her eyes and pushing Imani out the house. "Make sure she leaves the city," she tells two of the Dora. "I do not want to see her here or anywhere in Wakanda again."

"Yes, General," They say in unison, escorting Imani off of Shuri's property.

Okoye turns around and sees that Shuri's sitting down on the couch. "Shuri, are you alright?"

Shuri nods. "Uh huh."

Okoye sits next to her. "You're crying," she says softly.

Shuri doesn't make any effort to wipe her tears or even hear what Okoye's saying. She's too busy replaying the "conversation" her and Imani just had. She hadn't expected to go off like that. She knew she was angry but she didn't realize she was that angry. Her words, her voice, her tone. 

"Can you give me a moment alone?" Shuri asks Okoye and Okoye nods once and rubs Shuri's shoulder before leaving the house.

Shuri sat on the couch until the sun went down. She didn't realize she had been staring into space for so long until she felt her eyes getting heavy. She gets up slowly and drags herself to her bed, falling into it once she's close enough. She holds her legs against her chest and continues staring into space.

Riri paces herself in her head. Stop acting like a pussy and just knock, she says in her head. She takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. It opens slowly.

"Riri?" Shuri opens the door completely. "What're you doing here?" Shuri looks…like hell. Her voice came off so quiet Riri had barely heard her. There's bags under her eyes and they're red and puffy. She's been crying.

Riri rubs her hand on the back of her neck, "I wanted to talk to you."

"I thought you didn't want anything to do with me," Shuri mumbles. Her tone isn't harsh or anything, it's soft again. Despite Shuri's words, she opens the door fully, stepping out the way to let Riri inside.

Riri walks in slowly and sits down on the couch, Shuri sitting next to her.

"I know what I said to you the last time we saw each other was harsh, Shuri," Riri says after a few minutes of silence. "And I wanna apologize for it."

Shuri tilts her head, "Ri, you don't have to apologize for-" 

Riri shakes her head. "No, I do. I'm assuming you and Imani broke up before you came to see me and instead of understanding where you were coming from, I brushed you off. You didn't deserve that and I know it's no excuse but the only reason I did is because I like you. That's why it hurts me so much when you cut me off."

Shuri pauses. I like you. Like. Not liked. Like. 

"You… you like me?" Shuri says slowly. "Like, present tense, Ri? Like, like like?"

"Yes, like like, Shuri," Riri says smiling.

"Even though I hurt you?"

Riri shrugs. "Everybody makes mistakes. Don't worry about it."

Shuri stays quiet for a few seconds. "So, what now? Are you…my girlfriend?"

Riri turns her full body towards Shuri, looking her in her eyes. "Can I be your girlfriend, Shuri?"

"Yes." Shuri's answer is immediate but she means it. She likes Riri. She's always liked Riri. Riri was easy to talk to, Shuri always found herself at Riri's apartment whenever she and Imani ended up fighting.

"Should we watch a movie?" Riri asks.

Shuri nods. "You can pick, I'ma go freshen up a little bit and get some blankets."

…

It's been four months since Shuri and Riri have started dating. 

Shuri's happier now, way happier. Her mental health since she and Riri have gotten together has slowly improved. It's taken some time but when Shuri finally opened up to Riri about what she went through while dating Imani, Riri almost booked a flight to LA just to find her. Shuri had to beg her not to because she knew how that would end and she didn't need her new girlfriend ending up in jail because of her ex.

"Mama, can you come here for a minute please?"

Shuri pauses the TV and walks over to Riri, who's in the kitchen. "Yes?"

"I want you to try something for me." Riri puts a plate of food in front of Shuri as she sits down on the bar stool next to the counter. Shuri's confused at first, she doesn't know what the dish is, but before she can ask the question, Riri speaks up, "It's ground beef and rice. You told me you'd never actually had it before so I decided to make it for you."

Shuri smiles at the fact that Riri remembers. She takes a small bite at first then a bigger one. "This is good, Ri," she says with her mouth slightly full. "Like, really fucking good." Riri covers her hand over her mouth to hide her smile but Shuri can still see it from the way her cheeks go up.

Shuri finishes her plate in a matter of seconds. Riri had been making meals for Shuri ever since she found out she had barely been eating and despite eating being difficult, Shuri finished her food every. single. time. 

"You like it?" Riri says, still smiling, "Like, you really like it?"

"Yes, Ri. It's so good." While Shuri goes to put her plate in the sink, she kisses Riri on her forehead. "You should definitely open that restaurant you've been talking about."

Riri chuckles and sits on the counter. "I want to, but to open a restaurant, first, I need money. Then, I need a vacant lot, and then I need employees and-"

"Baby, I have money. I have people and friends who can work for you."

Riri shakes her head, "No, no, I wanna make it there on my own, and I'd love your help but I don't want the foundation of my restaurant to be you cause then I'm gonna feel like I owe you for the rest of my life."

"I get it, Ri. I want to help you, I do, but since you wanna make it on your own, I'll let you and when you do make it on your own, I will be there with you."

[griots-tales]

 Challenge: briefly rewrite a scene in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever as a happier version. Can also be an offscreen scene.

I’ll go first:

Ramonda felt lighter all of a sudden. The world swam back into her mind and she could open her eyes. 

She was underwater.

The throne room floor stood shattered above her head, and a limp figure sank to the depths below her. Riri was still unconscious. 

The Queen thought fast, and unclipped the beautiful gown off her to get rid of the extra weight. Shuri had bullied her into taking so many measures that she had packed a telescopic oxygen generator in a kimoyo bead, anticipating the need to swim while fighting the stupid fish-man.

Rage filled her as she hooked her arms under Ms. Williams’ and paddled upwards. The tiny snorkel could provide only enough oxygen in a minute to swim a few meters, so Ramonda held onto it until she really needed air. Her limbs burned from the lactic acid as well as her age, but her anger at Namor put power into her strokes, and the water was starting to get brighter. 

Her lungs were on fire, and only then did she gulp air from the bead. Her arms felt like they would fall off, and still, she heaved Riri onto what she hoped, was stable glass.

She could almost feel Namor hovering outside with a crazed grin. 

The throne-room doors burst open, and she could hear familiar voices: 

“Kumkanikazi!”

“Mother? Riri?”

Shuri’s soft, bony hands wrapped around her face as Ramonda watched Nakia bend over Riri. The Queen fell limp and called Shuri to listen close:

“Make him think I’m dead. Or he’s not going to stop here.”

Shuri was already weeping in relief, so she bent down to touch her forehead against her mother. Beside them, Nakia managed to make Riri spit out water from her airway, much to their relief.

They faintly heard Namor’s gloating words of farewell before watching him dive back into the flood of his making.

“Shuri?” Ramonda whispered, panting for the delicious surge of air she now had access to.

The Princess sniffled as she hugged her mama. “You glad you kept the generator?”

Ramonda chuckled as she felt Okoye’s arms around her. “Thank Bast...”

Shuri raised an eyebrow, but she was smiling.

“... that I had you as my daughter.” Ramonda completed.

[brisseaux]

KUMKANIKAZI

[artisticestheticreads]

Lovin’ You

A/N: Okay, so today is T’Challa Thursday but I had awful writer’s block while writing the new chapter of Beauty and the Panther. I decided to clean to see if I can come up with something as I listened to Lovin’ You by Minnie Riperton when I got the idea for this one-shot. I hope you enjoy a little cute T’Challa fluff.

Warning: Just cute fluff and some cussing of course.

Song Recommendation: Loving’ You by Minnie Riperton

 It was an Autumn Day in Wakanda when you were home, cleaning the place you shared with your loving king. He hated when you even moved a tad but even though you were seven months pregnant, you hated sitting still. You finished up mopping in the kitchen as you hummed music. You finally sat on the couch with tired feet as you rubbed your round belly. “Mmmm, hello my little princess”; the baby girl kicked and you giggled. “Ah, I can not wait until you get here. Your baba and I are already so obsessed with you as it is. Your grandmother Ramonda keeps giving us advice. Shuri keeps talking to you about science and what not and your uncle keeps talking about colonizers.” You giggled as she rubbed against your tummy. 

  “But baba and I will teach you everything you need to know.” You looked to the door and forced yourself up off the couch. As you made your way around, you had on a pair of overalls and a nude tank that matched your skin. You peeked out your front door to see he was still away. You turned back to see the old guitar that you have had since middle school. You place it in your right hand as the left rubbed your tummy. “Princess, will you like a song? One kick for no and two for yes”; two kicks it was. 

  You sat in the chair that made your back face the chair and got comfortable. You began strumming and tuning the red wooden instrumental to find the perfect key. You only strummed and hummed for a while until you found the lyrics due to your “mommy brain.”

“Lovin' you is easy ‘cause you're beautiful Makin' love with you is all I wanna do Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true And everything that I do is out of lovin' you”

   T’Challa was on his way inside but stopped. He held his ear to the door to listen closely.

“La la la la la, la la la la la La la la la la, la la la la la Do do do do do, ooh”

  He hummed the words along with you but not attempting the whistle tone. He loved when you did that part. He slowly slid in and quietly shutting the door, standing there and watching you. He remembered when you used to sing this song all the time in the lab alone. After your first date, he looked for this song and learned every word just for you. He remembers when he played this song in the dining area on your two year anniversary, that night he proposed to you. 

   The song played as you walked down the aisle and as your first song. He remembered how you looked down the aisle. You wore a soft white, beaded ball gown with a sweetheart neckline. Your veil followed behind like a train and your short twist was in a low bun. He cried a few tears as he watched you with your father’s hand in yours. You smiled as you two looked at one another and when you reached him, he took our hand and kissed your cheek. “ Ubonakala umhle, kumkanikazi. (You look beautiful, my queen.)”

“Enkosi, kumkani. (Thank you, my king)”. 

“No one else can make me feel The colors that you bring Stay with me while we grow old And we will live each day in springtime”

   “Don’t tell daddy I said this but he has a nice singing voice.” He smiled to himself. He slipped his shoes off and made his way over to you with his panther-like senses.

“Cause lovin' you has made my life so beautiful And every day of my life is filled with lovin' you Lovin' you, I see your soul come shinin' through And every time that we, ooh, I'm more in love with you.”

   All of a sudden, your whistle tone became a scream when you felt hands on your shoulders. You turned with the guitar ready to attack when you saw T’Challa. “Fucking fuck, my king. You scared me AND the baby. She was about slide right on out.” He chuckled and said, “I’m sorry, my love.” He helped you over to sit on the couch and rubbed your feet. “How long were you here?” He still massaged your feet as you lied back. “During the first verse.” You two laughed and he kissed your cheek before placing his on hand on the baby. “Princess, will you like mommy to continue singing. One kick for no and two for yes.” She kicked and you smiled. 

“Lovin' you is easy cause you're beautiful Makin' love with you is all I wanna do Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true And everything that I do is out of lovin' you”

Then he joined in.

La la la la la, la la la la la La la la la la, la la la la la Do do do do do, ooh

      But left you the whistling tone when he pointed. You giggled as you sang and he couldn’t help to think that loving you was easy; how every day of his life was filled loving you and your princess.

~

*𝒯𝒜𝒢𝒢𝐸𝒟 𝐿𝒪𝒱𝐸𝒮*

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[paisholotus]

Who Do You Belong to

Shuri x black fem reader

Summary: shuri has to remind you who you Belong to.

Warnings: Strong Language, Dom shuri, smut

Translations: Sthandwa(My Love) Ndiyakuthanda ( I Love You) "Ndiyakuthanda, nawe" ( I Love You Too) Ndithathe ukumkanikazi wam ( Take Me My Queen) Umhle kakhulu, Kumkanikazi wam ( You're So Beautiful, My Queen) Ngoku ( Now)

Requested by: @devinenancy

A/N: this MF IS LONG! So I'm sorry in advance but I hope y'all enjoy. Thank you for requesting @devinenancy

It was my cousins birthday, and she wanted to see Kehlani preform in London. I was in the bathroom fixing Shuri's hair and suit when she took out her phone and took a photo of us with her hand grabbing my ass and sticking her tongue out.

She only used phones when we were traveling outside of Wakanda. Me and her were wearing matching grills and same color outfits. I kissed the side of her neck where her tattoo was, and warned her that if she starts something, we'll be late.

My cousin along with a couple of my college friends were waiting on the bed for us. We took some pictures and videos, and complimented each other on how good we looked. We grabbed our things and made our way to the door, Shuri tapped my ass and closed the door behind her.

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

I had a surprise for my cousin. I had got passes for us to the after party. And we was currently upstairs in the club, watching my cousin whine on Kehlani while she sung to her.  Everyone was recording and hyping them up. The club was packed to the max, and everyone was taking shots.

Burna Boy blasted through the club and I started whining and shaking my ass.

You go bow for the result, oh

Nothing to discuss, oh

'Cause I dey win by default

And without any doubt, oh

Omo, me, I be adult, oh

I no go fit take your-

I no go fit take your insult, oh

I partied like their was no tomorrow, throwing it back on everybody, drinking shot after shot.

My eye, oh, don cry, oh (my eye, oh)

(I need igbo and shayo) shayo

I need igbo and shayo (shayo)

I need igbo and shayo (shayo)

I need igbo and shayo (shayo)

Shayo (shayo) shayo (shayo)

I felt warm hands jerk me against their chest and lean down to my ear, and my body immediately knew who it was. "We leave Wakanda for one night and you forget who you belong to, huh Sthandwa?" Shuri growled lowly biting my earlobe.

She quickly turned me around to face her. She was smirking at me, and even though she had shades on I knew her eyes held anger in them. looking down to the floor, I didn’t want to look at her, but she roughly grabbed my jaw, forcing me to look at her.

“who do you belong to” she asked, glaring at me.

“you” i replied weakly.

“you belong to me, so start acting like it, do you understand” she said to me.

I eagerly nodded and said, “I'm sorry baby, i ain't mean it. I don't want nobody in here, only you,  but tonight when we go back to the hotel I'll make it up to you, I promise.” i said, giving her a long kiss before pulling away and giving her a seductive smile.

She smiled at me and grabbed my throat choking me slightly sticking her tongue down my throat. I pressed the back of her head harder against my face, and moaned into her mouth. She picked up my leg and closed in the space that was between us. I felt my arousal pool in my panties, and I clenched onto her suit.

We pulled away and she turned me around, grabbing me by the back of my throat bending me over. Body by Dreezy came on and I started whining against her.

Yo body on my body baby

Im about to catch a body in here baby

I love the way you grind on me

Said im about to catch a body in here baby

Shuri started matching my movements bending down kissing on my neck. I was slowly rockin my hips to the lyrics.

You me and me on you baby

So tell me what you wanna do baby

Said everything is up to you baby

So it's up to you

This could be your best night

Get you home for the night

And do you just right

Time of your life

Get you home for the night

And do you just right

"Let's get out of here." She whispered to me. I turned around and smirked at her and nodded. I went over to my cousins and friends to tell them we was leaving, but we'll send Okoye over to get them.

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

A/N: Nasty time 😏😏

Loveeeee by Rihanna was playing through our room, as I was straddling Shuri.

I don't wanna give you the wrong impression

I need love and affection

And I hope I'm not sounding too desperate

I need love and affection

Love (oh-woah, oh, oh)

Love (oh-woah, oh, oh)

Love (oh-woah, oh)

Love and affection

Love (oh-woah, oh, oh)

Love (oh-woah, oh)

L-O-V-E-E-E and affection

seductively i lifted the dress and taking it off, revealing my new purple matching panty and bra set, i had recently got both of my nipples pierced along with my belly button.

Shuri unhooked my bra and began sucking on my nipples making me throw my head back and moan.

Oh, baby

I'm not asking for the world, maybe

You can give me what I want, baby

Come hold me tight and when I'm drowning, save me

Give it to me on a daily

If I'm your girl, say my name boy, let me know I'm in control

We both grown so how we feel we can let it show

(I-I-I) won't play around

(I-I-I) I wanna lay you down

(I-I-I) I need you now, I need you now, oh-oh, oh

“my naughty girl” she says more to herself. " Umhle kakhulu, Kumkanikazi wam." She said, looking me in my eyes.

she then flipped me over onto my back and pulled my panties off, and began to lick and suck on my clit. she took her time with me, not only to show you that only she can give me this type of pleasure, but to show me how much she loves me.

I took soft breathes, moaning as she took her time with me. She wrapped my legs around her head, and my back arched as I moved my hips feeling my orgasm coming.

She mumbled something into my pussy and raised her hand up my chest brushing her thumb against my nipple squeezing it. "Shuri....I-i"

"Let it go, love" She said, softly.

I felt tingles shoot up my body, my toes curled and my back arched off the bed causing me to let out an loud moan. I felt little kisses being place up my stomach to my chest and she kissed my lips, my head felt dizzy. "You ready?" She said, cupping my cheeks. I lazily nodded and gave her a small smile. She bended down and kissed my lips and stood up striping her clothes off, she allowed her strap to activate onto her body.

grabbing my legs she pulls you closer to the edge of the bed, laying me on my back, i spreaded my legs, looking at her. "Say what you want and I'll give it to you, love." One of her arms wrapped around my waist. "Tell me." I said, nothing my heart rate picking up as she lifted up my hips, positioning herself at my entrance. "Either you talk back or watch me leave you horny and dickless." She smacked my thighs making me hiss from the sting.

She hovered over me, down towards my lips before pushing my legs against my chest, and ran her tongue against my lips making me moan. "SHURI PLEASE!" I begged her to stop teasing me.

She stood back up and gripped my waist, slowly easing herself in, "You want it?" She asked, me.

I mumbled out an yes and rolled my hips to feel her take out her dick flat against my clit, making me let out a shaky moan.

"Ngoku?" She asked, brushing her thumb across my bottom lip, and I took it in my mouth sucking on it.

"Ndithathe ukumkanikazi wam" I said.

Shuri entered herself into me and moaned into my neck, my eyes closed as she rocked back and forth and rolled her hips. Each time our hips would connect, i would whisper in her ear how much I loved her.

This felt different then all the times we had sex. I could feel the passion and love she was pouring into me.

She lifted her head and cupped my cheeks. "Is this all mine?" She grunted, looking into my eyes. I nodded and kisses her lips. I cried, placing my hand at the top of her head while her thrust became faster, making my chest bounce.

I felt every inch of her stretch me out and she dived deeper while my lower half made squelching noises. Shuri looked down at me and mumbled a soft "perfect" making blush.

I felt myself beginning to come again and Shuri's thrust became sloppy which let me know that she was close too. Shuri deactivated the strap and pulled me into her lap, we started grinding into each other, holding each other, as she placed kisses on the side of my face. I felt tingles for the second time shoot up my body, causing a thousand yes's come from my mouth as we both came.

Shuri slowly kissed me and placed her forehead against mine and smiled at me. "Ndiyakuthanda." She said, smiling looking me in the eyes. "Ndiyakuthanda, nawe" I said, kissing her.

[zarnieharlow-blog]

Melting butter Ndimhle man ❤👑kumkanikazi #melaningoddess👑 #melanin #blackgirlrock #african #africanbeauty https://www.instagram.com/p/BvrmwQup94k/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=7rukaz7aj4zl

[anoos94]

Ntsiki Mazwai came for Zinhle unprovoked, but why mention drugs?

Ntsiki Mazwai came for Zinhle unprovoked, but why mention drugs?

Ntsiki Mazwai came for Zinhle unprovoked, but why mention drugs? Imagine….. Your celebs glamorize and sell booze and foreign hair to you. Sies man. — ✨KUMKANIKAZI✨ (@ntsikimazwai) June 3, 2021 Weaves and Booze. Nice work leaders. You make the youth focus on weaves and booze. Levels. — ✨KUMKANIKAZI✨ (@ntsikimazwai) June 3, 2021 When whites told you you look like monkeys you believed them….…

[swelindawoasanele]

I couldn’t be with him because he looked at me as if I was an ordinary person. See Tata said, I should be with a man who looks at me as if I’m his galaxy and my eyes are the stars.  just to complement the vision he had when he conceived and held me in his arms for the first time.

And I know this look, see this is the look he gives to Buyi. He looks at her like the world begins and end in her face and soul. He says she is the closest he has ever been to heaven. And I know this is true, and maybe that’s why he calls her Kumkanikazi.

‘A man should get lost in your face’, he says. And Moengele seemed to know his way around my face, he was all doors written ‘exit’ and never ‘entrance’ nor 'staying’ or 'lost’. He already mapped his exits around my face.

-Untitled - Written by: Swelindawo Asanele15/02/2017