#kylies blurbs

[oleksiak-pettersson]

Shitttttt... I accidentally deleted this blurb.

The sun has long set by the time you look up from your book. Vancouver winters have a habit of sneaking up on you.

With the fire place roaring and the fuzzy blanket on your lap, you’d created the perfect reading atmosphere. The grumble of your stomach draws you out of your reading reverie.

Concrete, the cat you share with you boyfriend, cracks an eye open from the other side of the couch where he’s curled up like a shrimp. He mews softly at your movement before turning back over and resting his paw over his eyes.

You laugh at the cat, “Drama queen,” you poke his belly teasingly as you shed the blanket and stretch. The cat doesn’t even move, just continues to nod off into dreamland.

You can see the lights of Vancouver beginning to turn on from the buildings surrounding yours. You sigh contentedly as you glance at the clock on wall.

It’s dinner time. Lacking the energy to make food, you scoop up your phone and go in search of Elias. It’s an easy search, you can hear the echoes of his game from down the hall.

He’s left the door open a crack, you can hear the gameplay and he drops a f-bomb that has you chuckling.

You push the door open, watching with soft eyes as he’s focussed on his computer. There’s a headset covering his ears and a microphone attached to it that hovers near his pink lips.

His hair is a bit of a mess. You can hear the guys he’s playing with through the headset.

Brock, Nils, Quinn, and is that Kuz? You can’t be too sure.

“Petey? What do you want for dinner, babe?” You inquire, leaning against the doorframe.

You’re not prepared for how quickly he pauses the game and whips around in his chair. His jaw has dropped slightly and you can hear the confusion of his teammates and friends falling through the headset that previously rested on his head before he ripped it off.

“Sorry sweets, did I scare you?” You ask again, confused as to why he’s reacting this way.

“What did you just call me?” He counters, dead serious. There’s silence from the peanut gallery in the headphones.

“Sweets?” You shrug, still confused about the reaction.

“No, before that,” Elias rises from his chair, hands grabbing your hips with an urgency you’ve never seen him possess before.

“Babe? I call you babe all the time.” Your own hands come to rest on his chest. You raise an eyebrow at the seemingly now high-strung Swede.

“Before babe.” His eyes narrow into thin skits and you try not to chuckle at the long forgotten ‘alien death stare’ he’s sending your way.

“Petey?” You question, confusion taking over your face.

“Yes.” He says grumpily.

“But that’s your name, babe!” You laugh, hand moving up to cup his cheek.

“No. That’s what the guys call me, that’s what the fans call me.” He pauses, eyes watching your face shift. “You are my girl, the love of my life. I’m not just Petey with you.”

Your heart soars at his baring of emotion. You can’t help it as you pull his face to yours and press your lips against his.

He smiles into your grip, lips plush against yours as his tongue slides out to meet yours.

“Now that Peteys done being cheesy, can we have him back?” Brock’s voice rings in your ear.

“No!” Both you and Elias chorus as you pull apart.

“Play without him boys, it’s date night.” You grab the mic and place the headset back before smiling suggestively at your boyfriend.

You don’t think you ever seen him shut down a game so fast.

[hockybish]

Girly: hey can you bring up a can of that ginger soda  Lover: still having issues? Girly: yea Lover: ill be up soon Lover: ♥️

Cole pocketed his phone and went about getting the fizzy drink for Kylie, his girl, who was currently regurgitating the contents of her stomach. He grabbed a chilled soda from the fridge and added a curly straw for a little bit of fun. He was about to head up to her when he was stopped by her brother. 

“Is that for Ky? Is she still not feeling well?” Trevor hopped over the back of the couch when he saw Cole headed towards the stairs. “I can bring it to her.” 

“No I got it.” Cole shrugged. She is his girlfriend, although nobody knew that at the time. “You just go back to playing chel, I’ll be back in a minute.”

“But I’m her brother.” Trevor reminded his friend.

Yes that was true, but he was the one to put her in the predicament she was in. He was reason why she had practically made a bed in the upstairs bathroom because she was constantly getting sick from the baby, that Trevor still had no idea about.

"I know, but she did message me and I am her best friend. So I'm just gonna go." He made a run for it up the stairs and to the bathroom that was conjoined to her room.

"Here is your drink you ordered madam." Cole smiled, trying to lighten the mood while hand Kylie Zegras the drink. She thanked him and started taking big gulps through the straw. "Sips. Don't want you throwing it back up."

"It's gonna come back up no matter what." Kylie listens to what her boyfriend suggested and sipped the fizzy beverage. But it didn't take her long to lean back over the toilet and throw up again. The morning sickness, which was more like every time of the day sickness, was kicking her butt lately.

Cole slipped in behind her so he could hold them as she got sick once more. He didn't like this part, but it was all part of the process. He wished they could just jump to the part where they could hold the little one.

"It's time to tell my brother. He's getting suspicious and we're not going to be able to hide the bump for much longer." Kylie wiped her mouth, gurgling a bit of water to get the taste out of her mouth before leaning back into her favorite pillow.

She was at least three months along. There was a bump starting grow and one could see it, if they knew what to look for. The other day Kylie had an appointment that Cole wasn't able to make, and what happened at the appointment made her want to come clean to her brother about everything.

"Are you sure want to babe? I kinda don't want to murder and I think he will definetly murder me." Cole started rubbing circles into her arms and back, making his way down her body and to her belly. He was trying to get her to relax some more and maybe even get a little nap in.

"He's gonna find out eventually Coley. Especially when the ducks play the habs and there a freaking ba-" Kylie was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. She didn't feel a vibration come Cole, that must have meant that someone must have walked in on them, and what if, oh no...

Looking up from her position on the ground there stood Trevor leaning against the wooden doorframe with his arms crossed, looking ... well there was no real expression on his face. He refused to meet their gazes, opting look at the floor.

"You fucked my sister? And now you're pregnant?" Trevor directed a question to each member of the couple who just looked at him, in disbelief, unsure of really what to say or do next.

Kylie opened her mouth and was about to say something, give some sort of reasoning or excuse or explain herself in anyway, but her stomach turned and had her leaning over the bowl again.

She sobbed as the bile burned her throat. "Hey hey, it's okay, let it out" Cole encouraged inbetween placing kisses in the crook of her neck and along the backside. It was hard for him to tear his eyes away.

Trevor watched the interaction between Kylie and Cole and he couldn't help feel the love Cole had for his twin. He guessed he could get used to this, to them. He would have to if he wanted to be the best uncle.

He just needs to get over this feeling of betrayal.

"Wait Trev there's more." She called to her brother and grabbed onto the boy behind her's hand for courage and he hadn't heard this news yet either and she wanted to make sure he was listening because she was about to throw another curve ball.

"It's twins. We're having twins" Kylie nervously looked at the two boys.

Let me know what y'all think!

[timotheeupdates]

<3

[multifandomingmess]

a list of meals that some celebs really enjoy

Kylie Jenner

she's like *really* into lemon chicken with veggies. she's into turkey bacon and so is her daughter, stormi. she enjoys drinking lattes with oat milk. she also LOVES peach tea. when she wakes up in the morning, she likes to either drink celery juice or a bone broth mixed with lavender and lemon.

2. Jack Harlow

he said that he LOVES raisin bran cereal, soul food, and he's definitely a fan of waffle house. one of his favorite drinks is ale8 as it's a big kentucky staple. he's into juicey drinks, too, specifically anything like cranberry or lemonnade. he loves cheese steak. he likes chips (specifically garden salsa sun chips and spicy nacho doritos) but he's cut out a lot of things like red meat, ranch, chips, etc.. during quarantine to cut down levels in his blood work

3. Travis Barker

he starts the day off with either a coffee or matcha drink. if he eats breakfast, he will eat chicken and waffles. he loves to eat vegan eggs and sausages, too. he enjoys veggies like green beans and brocolli with rice. he likes superfood bars to snack on. he drinks on protein shake after working out. he enjoys vegan sushi, gluten-free pasta, caesar salad, and he likes coconut sorbet

4. Grimes

she loves buttered toast with jam. she likes go-cubes and matcha for caffiene. she hates fruit but can tolerate raspberries, blueberries, and bananas. she's into spaghetti. she also loves salt & vinegar chips. a weird snack she enjoys is a thin slice of tomato with slices of avocado on each side, sprinkled with both nutritional yeast and salt & pepper.

5. Cole Sprouse

he reportedly enjoys homemade lasagna & stuffed green peppers. he also likes some chips like doritos and sun chips. in an interview with lana condor, he revealed that some of his favorite snacks are: shrimp chips, boba tea, klondike bars. he's also into carbonara!

the first 4 are from food diaries US snapchat story and last is from articles!

[miss-celestial-being]

goodnight, going to sleep with thoughts of joseph quinn on my mind 😌😌

[priniya]

requests guidelines ⭐️

hello everyone! after a year (and a half?) i’ve finally got to myself to show all the things i could write for. it’s gonna be updated regularly as soon as i obsess over something new.

so . . .

i’m not sure if i’m a good person to write smut so… request if u want, but might take a long time before i post it! (i haven’t really written anything smut related so that might be bad)

please, if you request something, write a small blurb of what you’ll like to read!

i mainly write for a female reader with she/her pronouns and all that, but i’m up for gender neutral as well if you feel like it :)

i might add sth here if i think of it, but the most important part is who do i write for. bold stands for my favs, italics is like… second fav, i guess!

✩ harry potter — slytherin boys (theodore nott, mattheo riddle, lorenzo berkshire, draco malfoy + pansy parkinson and daphne greengrass), marauders (james potter, sirius black, remus lupin, regulus black, evan rosier, barty crouch jr.), golden era (harry potter, ron weasley, cedric diggory, weasley twins, ginny weasley).

✩ percy jackson — greek demigods (percy jackson, leo valdez, annabeth chase, luke castellan, grover underwood, hood brothers, clarisse la rue, piper mclean), roman demigods (frank zhang, jason grace, hazel lavasque).

✩ books — the inheritance games (jameson hawthorne, grayson hawthorne, xander hawthorne, avery kylie grambs, thea laughlin), a good girl’s guide to murder (pippa fitz-amobi, ravi singh), hockey boyfriends (nate hawkins, garret graham, john logan, dean di laurenti, john tucker, hunter davenport, henry turner, russ callaghan)

✩ miscellaneous series — jenny han universes (conrad fisher, peter kavinsky, kitty song covey, cam cameron, steven conklin, minho), criminal minds (spencer reid, aaron hotchner, jennifer jareau, derek morgan), outer banks (jj maybank, pope heyward, rafe cameron), my life with the walter boys (alex walter, cole walter, isaac garcia, kailey)

✩ anime — haikyuu (kageyama, tsukishima, osamu, atsumu, suna, oikawa, bokuto, akaashi, kuroo, kenma, semi + the rest😭).

✩ people i don’t know how to classify — zuko + sokka, steve harrington, matthew gray gubler, drew starkey, louis partridge, timothee chalamet, peter parker, nct members.

if you don’t see someone, just ask! there’s a high chance i just forgot about them xx

[vanwritesfan-fiction]

The Last Days of Summer

A cute little blurb to celebrate the Chiefs going back to training camp in a couple of days! Includes a a request from @mmb219

Request: I stumbled upon and fell down a rabbit hole of “Dad saves” on TikTok. Like where the dads reflexes catch their kid before they fall, before they crash into something or a ball coming at them etc. I could just imagine Travis and his reflexes with the kids 😍

Even though the kids still had a couple weeks of summer break before they went back to school, the end of July meant that Travis was on his way back to training camp, so you always tried to make the most out of those last days before life got crazy. This year you decided to have the extended family over for a pool party. Alex and Wyatt where in the shallow end of the pool, trying to see who could hold their breath under water the longest, while Sav, Laylah, and Elliotte were playing around on the separate splash pad you had set up for the younger kids.

You and Kylie watched from the lounge chairs, surveying over the kids, including your two adult kids, Travis and Jason, who were wrestling in the pool over a tiny toy basketball. "That does not count, Jason! You can't touch the rim, NBA rules!" Jason splashed Travis with a wave of water, walking over to the stairs to get out of the pool. He sat down at the end of Kylies chair, running a towel through his hair. "NBA rules? We're in your backyard, you sore loser."

Travis swam over to the edge of the pool, resting his arms on the concrete. You weren't ashamed to admit you were ogling your husband's bulging biceps, beads of water rolling off of his tan skin. "My eyes are up here." He smiled at you, making you blush when you realized you'd been caught. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Travis lifted himself out of the pool, revealing his toned body. "Its okay, this is for your eyes only." He rubbed his chest in a playful way, teasing you. "C'mere, you need more sunscreen." Travis sat between your legs, and you dried his back off before slathering his skin in sunscreen.

"Are you ready for training camp, Trav?" Kylie asked, shifting a sleeping Bennie in her arms. "No", he shook his head as he leaned against you, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. "The girls keep asking when I'm leaving for good. It breaks my heart every time." You looked out at Sav and Laylah across the yard, both shrieking as they ran through the water streams. "They just don't understand it yet, baby. Alex was the same way", you explained. "This is going to be the first season they actually know what's going on, and they're going to be so excited for you."

"I know you're right, I just hate that I will miss the last few weeks of summer. Its back to daily practices and being too tired at the end of the day." You rubbed Travis' chest sympathetically. You knew he was more upset about it than usual because his first away game was scheduled for the same week that Alex would be starting first grade and he was going to miss the first day of school.

"Mama? Can we eat lunch?" Alex walked over to you, a towel wrapped around his body. "Yes, babe. I just need to set everything up. We can eat in five minutes." You patted Travis' shoulders to signal to let you up. "Savannah, Laylah and Elliotte, its time to eat lunch!" Travis called over to the girls, the three of them running over.

You barely caught it out of the corner of your eye as Laylah ran by the edge of the pool, her foot slipping off the wet tile. Luckily Travis' focus was on her, and he was able to catch her arm before she fell into the pool. He swept her up in his arms, balancing on one leg, avoiding a potential accident. She knew how to swim, all three kids did, but needed floaties to help keep her upright.

"Good catch, babe." Travis put Laylah down and she ran off with the rest of the kids into the house, completely unfazed. "You know I got those fast reflexes babe. Best tight end in the league." He flexed his muscles, giving you a cocky grin. "That's right, baby, best tight end in the league." You patted his butt.

He turned around, trying to grab at your arm. "Don't you dare Travis Michael." You tried to get away, but he grabbed you by the waist, lifting you over his shoulder with ease. "Travis, don't!" He teetered over the edge of the pool. "Say it. Say I'm the best tight end in the league." He didn't really care about the title, but was enjoying messing with you. "Jason, help me please!" You called out to your brother in law, who already had a sandwich in his hands. He backed away, shaking his head. "Sorry, sis, he's bigger than me. I'm not getting involved."

"Travis, I'm not wearing a swimsuit, I don't want to get wet." You warned, but he wasn't listening. "You know what you have to do." He patted your butt playfully, and you felt your bodyweight shift forward, making you scream. "Fine! Travis Kelce is the best tight end in the league."

"And?"

"And what?"

"I don't know. Say something nice about my body." Travis chuckled.

"No!" You backtracked when he began to step forward.

"Ok, ok. You have a nice ass." Travis backed up and place you back on the ground. "See, wasn't that easy?" You rolled your eyes. Travis jogging behind you into the house.

[lovecanyon]

INSTAGRAM BLURB

harry x (alternative) jenner!y/n

MASTERLIST | PATREON

a/n: harry is his regular musician self!

-

2017!

liked by harryfan2, jennerfan5 and 331,630 others

thesun Many fans speculate Y/N Jenner and Harry Styles are back together after Styles releases an album apparently written about the eldest Jenner.

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harryfan3 harry writing a few songs about her doesn’t mean they are back together 😭

jennerfan7 i honestly miss them dating

harryfan9 remember harry’s cameo on kuwtk 🤭

jennerfan4 it was so iconic

harryfan6 the way jeff was literally seen with y/n yesterday too

jennerfan8 they were such a hot couple

harryfan10 only angel, kiwi, woman…i mean do what you want with this information

jennerfan12 the songs gives me y/n vibes so much…

harryfan14 i am not well

jennerfan16 i need them to date again

harryfan11 harry dating a jenner caused so much drama in the one direction days LMAO

jennerfan13 okay but they are so pretty

liked by harryfan15, jennerfan17 and 871,904 others

bbcradio1 Out of all the photos we showed Harry Styles, his heart beat the fastest at a photo of Y/N Jenner.

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harryfan19 literally screaming

jennerfan21 DON’T DO THIS TO ME

harryfan23 he got so blushy oh my god 😭

jennerfan24 HARRY IS STILL IN LOVE WITH Y/N, YOU CAN TELL

harryfan18 i’m in denial

jennerfan20 i just need them to get back together

harryfan22 the way nick straight up exposed harry

jennerfan25 i support whatever they are

harryfan27 not harry and y/n trending on twitter…

jennerfan29 for sure they are either back together or planning to get back together

harryfan26 sobbing into my pillow

jennerfan28 y/n was literally seen with harry’s manager the other day so i think they are honestly back together

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 2,167,849 others

vogue Y/N and Kendall Jenner are our June cover girls!

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harryfan30 my favorite sisters ever

jennerfan32 kylie: 👁👄👁

kimkardashian THE PRETTIEST GIRLS EVER

harryfan35 not harry liking this right when it posted

jennerfan31 he stays lurking

krisjenner so proud of my girls

harryfan33 FIRST HARRY LIKED THIS THAN ANNE…WHAT IS HAPPENING

bellahadid my cuties!!!

jennerfan36 best photoshoot ever

kyliejenner big sissy’s take on vogue

harryfan38 harry liking this post cures everything

kourtneykardash best models out there

jennerfan34 y/n making kendall answer the harry questions is so funny 😭

2018!

liked by harryfan35, jennerfan37 and 721,603 others

jennerupdates Y/N OUT IN LONDON TODAY!

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harryfan39 when is she ever in london

jennerfan42 SHE LOOKS SO GOOD OMG

harryfan45 the way she was with gemma too…

jennerfan40 SHE WAS?

harryfan43 y/n is pretty, i don’t blame harry for dating her

jennerfan46 she’s in harry’s hometown…

harryfan44 don’t do this to me 😭

jennerfan47 woman la la la la la

harryfan49 her being in london means her and harry might be…

jennerfan51 y/n was with harry’s sister 🤭

harryfan53 if harry is back together with y/n i will collapse

jennerfan55 I LOVE HER

liked by harrystyles, krisjenner and 902,175 others

harry_lambert Y/N Jenner for @dazed wearing @gucci

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harryfan52 Y/N IS SO HOT

jennerfan54 she served.

yourinstagram lambyyyy thank you for styling me, i love your work dearly!

harry_lambert Oh my god I am so honored!!!

harryfan56 not y/n using harry’s stylist 😭

zendaya i love this

jennerfan57 she’s the world’s most paid model for a reason

khloekardashian this is it 🙏

harryfan59 harry liked this…i’m not surprised at all…

annetwist so beautiful!

jennerfan61 isn’t this harry’s mother

harryfan58 ANNE WHAT ARE YOU DOING

arianagrande all hail y/n

2019!

liked by jennerfan60, harryfan62 and 1,381,751 others

papermagazine Harry Styles and Y/N Jenner walked hand in hand at the Met Gala leaving ongoers in shock.

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jennerfan64 i didn’t really expect that to happen

harryfan66 I AM CRYING…WHY DID THEY DO THAT

jennerfan68 that was honestly so iconic 😭

harryfan65 twitter is in flames right now

jennerfan67 you know kris is smiling in the corner somewhere

harryfan69 “you’re doing great sweetie”

jennerfan71 they looked so amazing together 🥲

harryfan73 i’m having a breakdown, what about you?

jennerfan75 i am not well

harryfan70 HARRY AND Y/N ARE FINALLY BACK TOGETHER

jennerfan72 i manifested this moment

harryfan74 AHHH SCREAMING AND SOBBING

liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 608,174 others

alessandro_michele Y/N JENNER. MET ‘19.

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jennerfan76 y/n looks so amazing i can’t

harryfan77 MOTHER

harrystyles The love of my life.

jennerfan78 SHUT UP

harryfan80 harry really confirmed their relationship in a comment section 😭

jennerfan82 i will forever remember this moment…

kimkardashian y/n is so beautiful ❤️

harryfan84 she is truly a goddess

alexademie best dressed at the met!!!!

jennerfan81 camp.

kyliejenner my big sister is better than yours

kendalljenner retweet

harryfan83 i love them so much 🤭

billieeilish i’m screaming over this

liked by harrystyles, jefezoff and 4,921,792 others

kimkardashian a kardashian and a jenner take on the met gala

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jennerfan85 they are so iconic together

harryfan87 Y/N AND KIM = BEST DUO EVER

yourinstagram i love you kimy! 💞

kimkardashian i love you more y/n!!!

harry_lambert two icons

jennerfan89 oh my god i will forever remember this photo

kyliejenner HOT HOT HOT

harryfan86 harry liked this in under a minute..he’s so 😭

jennerfan88 you can tell he’s obsessed with y/n, i would be too

billieeilish fav sisters!

harryfan90 harry’s account is basically made for liking photos of y/n

kendalljenner my new lock screen

liked by harrystyles, kyliejenner and 14,890,177 others

yourinstagram my date for tonight.

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jennerfan91 oh. my. god.

harryfan93 I WILL BE CRYING OVER THIS FOR A WHILE

harrystyles Loved being your date xx.

yourinstagram good, get used to it

jennerfan92 y/n said: harry is my man

harryfan94 imaging having harry styles as your date to the met gala…a true flex

jefezoff one of the best couples ever

jennerfan96 i love harry and y/n together 😭

harry_lambert this so cute!!

harryfan98 if harry dating y/n means we get harry content, then i will not complain again

kimkardashian seriously love you two

jennerfan95 god has his favorites and y/n is one of them

alessandro_michele 🍓✨🍓

liked by yourinstagram, annetwist and 8,719,403 others

harrystyles Met Gala, 2019.

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harryfan100 HARRY???

jennerfan103 omg he is so obsessed with y/n 😭

yourinstagram i love you my baby!

harrystyles I love you more my cherry.

harryfan105 you hear me sobbing right now?

jennerfan107 harry and y/n confirming their relationship on instagram is kind of iconic

kendalljenner so cute, you two!

harryfan104 harry posting y/n is something i thought i’d never seen before

krisjenner missed you guys together 💞

jennerfan108 i’m never going to stop talking about this

harris_reed this relationship keeps me going

harryfan110 current status update: feeing jealous

khloekardashian this is so adorable

2020!

liked by jennerfan113, harryfan115 and 505,813 others

hsupdates #RUMOR! Y/N Jenner is reportedly pregnant and moving to London permanently with Harry!

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jennerfan117 i can’t handle this information

harryfan119 DADRRY???

jennerfan122 i need him 😭

harryfan120 if y/n is actually pregnant i will scream and cry

jennerfan125 crying and throwing up

harryfan127 sliding down the wall

jennerfan129 it’s so obvious this is true because we haven’t seen harry or y/n in a few months

harryfan131 you are scaring me

jennerfan133 i hear all the harries crying already

harryfan135 if y/n being pregnant is true then give her and harry privacy…

jennerfan137 she’s moving to london 🥲

harryfan132 FUCK

jennerfan134 i love it here

liked by harryfan140, jennerfan142 and 1,403,177 others

karjennerdaily Y/N OUT IN LONDON YESTERDAY, PREGNANT!

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harryfan141 SHUT THE FUCK UP

jennerfan144 oh my god. oh my god. oh my good

harryfan147 i’m shaking

jennerfan149 stormi is going to have another cousin 😭

harryfan145 y/n is winning at life right now

jennerfan148 she always looks so pretty

harryfan150 HARRY IS GOING TO BECOME A FATHER OMG

jennerfan153 harry styles and y/n jenner = parents

harryfan155 shocked but not surprised

jennerfan151 the way paparazzi followed her all day to get these photos…

harryfan154 they literally need to leave her alone and give her privacy

jennerfan158 not y/n’s pregnancy getting leaked

harryfan152 cut the cameras…deadass

liked by jennerfan163, harryfan160 and 613,940 others

pagesix Harry Styles sues paparazzi over leaking his girlfriend, Y/N Jenner’s pregnancy and reportedly won the court cases against the three media companies.

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jennerfan164 harry pulled a kris

harryfan167 he’s so hot, i don’t blame y/n for getting back together with him

jennerfan165 or having a child with him

harryfan169 literally on my knees for him

jennerfan166 as harry should

harryfan170 i love how protective harry is over y/n

jennerfan172 right, he loves her so much

harryfan174 leave harry and y/n alone, have you guys not learned since the 2015 icloud leaks 😭

jennerfan171 i love harry for that honestly

harryfan175 already knows he’s going to be one of those protective dads 🥲

jennerfan173 YES!!!

harryfan176 i can’t wait until harry turns into a dilf 🤗

jennerfan178 kris taught harry well

liked by yourinstagram, jefezoff and 31,512,713 others

harrystyles Baby Styles, coming soon.

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harryfan180 someone run me over

jennerfan182 THIS SO ADORABLE

yourinstagram i love you my baby daddy

harrystyles I love you more my darling.

harryfan184 Y/N IS ME 😭

jennerfan186 what they have is all i want

pillowpersonpp so excited to meet baby styles

harryfan181 never in my life would i have expected harry styles to post a baby announcement

annetwist so happy that i’m going to become a grandmother 🤗

ynfan189 i’m crying over this post

billieeilish HOLY SHIT

harryfan185 just remembering they are going to have a nepo baby

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 21,419,507 others

yourinstagram new roommate expected 🤰

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jennerfan200 i can’t stop crying

harryfan203 CONGRATULATIONS 😭😭😭

harrystyles My favorite mama.

yourinstagram this mama adores you

jennerfan205 parents

harryfan207 crying in the club

kyliejenner i am so happy!!!! 💞

jennerfan202 i’m actually sliding down the wall

krisjenner so excited to meet my new grandchild

harryfan209 harry and y/n’s child is going to be so famous…

kidharpoon congrats, so happy for you guys!

jennerfan212 the way y/n and harry are breaking the internet

kendalljenner auntie kenny on the way

harryfan210 this post will be in my head for days

2021!

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 41,790,611 others

yourinstagram Apollo Edward Styles, I love you.

view all comments

jennerfan221 IT’S A BOY OH MY GOD

harryfan223 the baby has the same middle name as harry 🥲

harrystyles I love you both so much.

yourinstagram and we love you too daddy!

jennerfan225 going insane

harrystyles227 i love them so much

kimkardashian i am crying so hard, congratulations little sis

jennerfan229 harry and y/n are finally parents 😭

gemmastyles my little nephew ❤️

harryfan231 this means harry is really taken then

harry_lambert you and harry have come a long way, so happy to see you both grow a family together

jennerfan234 the middle name being harry’s is so cute

kourtneykardash you are going to be the best mother ever!

liked by yourinstagram, jefezoff and 38,610,742 others

harrystyles Apollo Edward Styles, 1-18-21.

view all comments

harryfan243 HARRY STYLES IS FINALLY A DILF

jennerfan240 y/n starting a family with her first boyfriend is so adorable

yourinstagram i’m so happy with you, h

harrystyles Darling spending every moment with you makes me happy, I love you.

harryfan245 y/n wins.

billieeilish THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE

jennerfan241 the way harry took these photos…don’t talk to me 😭

florencepugh congratulations!!!!

harryfan247 this feels like a fever dream

annetwist feeling like a proud grandmother 🤍

jennerfan249 i can’t get over the middle name

paulithepsm love you both, congrats!

harryfan251 their child is going to be so iconic

krisjenner so happy for you guys

MARCH 2021!

liked by jennerfan250, harryfan253 and 813,690 others

harryflorals HARRY WINS BEST POP SOLO PERFORMANCE AT THE GRAMMY’S!

view all comments

jennerfan255 he deserved it so much

harryfan257 GRAMMY AWARD WINNER…HARRY STYLES

jennerfan259 he looked so shocked omg

harryfan254 when he thanked y/n and apollo in his speech 😭

jennerfan260 it was so adorable

harryfan263 harry is so in love with y/n it’s sick

jennerfan261 we wouldn’t have the albums if it weren’t for y/n 🙏

harryfan264 this is so real of the grammy’s

jennerfan266 i love this for him

harryfan268 harry received a grammy all because y/n tasted like watermelon

jennerfan265 HE IS THE MOMENT

harryfan269 i just know y/n is proud of him

liked by harrystyles, krisjenner and 7,202,481 others

yourinstagram my boyfriend is now officially a grammy winner!

view all comments

jennerfan271 “my boyfriend” i would do the same thing tbh

harryfan273 she’s flexing on us at this point 😭

harrystyles Lovedddd the picture you used of me.

yourinstagram me too 😁

jennerfan272 their relationship is all i want

kyliejenner harry = best musician ever

harryfan275 y/n really said MY MAN is a grammy winner

jefezoff thank you for earning him the grammy, ms. muse

jennerfan277 i will forever remember this moment

pillowpersonpp everything we make is for you!

harryfan274 #grammy winner harry styles

alessandro_michele 🍉🍉🍉

2022!

liked by jennerfan200, harryfan203 and 820,149 others

ynupdates Y/N OUT IN NEW YORK TODAY!

view all comments

jennerfan305 she looks like such a good mother

harryfan308 OMG APOLLO IS SO SMALL 😭

jennerfan310 y/n is in her mother era!!!!

harryfan304 she really is living the dream life

jennerfan309 the way they straight up cropped harry out 🤭

harryfan311 let’s hope this one releases medicine and anna

jennerfan314 can the paparazzi leave her alone

harryfan316 right….i need harry to sue them again

jennerfan312 i love mother y/n

harryfan317 she’s going to harry’s show tonight!!!

jennerfan319 i think she goes to every show of his, just stays backstage with apollo

harryfan315 she does, i worked a few msg nights

liked by harrystyles, billieeilish and 13,508,192 others

yourinstagram did your boyfriend sell out 15 shows in less than an hour? because mine did.

view all comments

jennerfan320 y/n is literally so hot

harryfan324 THE CAPTION??? I’M CRYING

harrystyles I love it when you brag about me.

yourinstagram me too baby

jennerfan321 i love them so much 🙏

pillowpersonpp hot mama!

harryfan325 y/n is so real for the caption

kendalljenner you are so gorgeous 💞

jennerfan327 harry and y/n need to get married next

kimkardashian that’s what i’ve been saying!!!

harryfan329 KIM 😭

paulithepsm harry is on top of the world

jennerfan326 y/n got all the fans shook with this one

glenne_azoff the caption! the photos!

liked by yourinstagam, harrystyles and 921,703 others

harry_lambert the muse in all her glory

view all comments

harryfan330 i’m so jealous of her

jennerfan332 I LOVE ALL THE Y/N CONTENT

harrystyles The love of my lifeee.

yourinstagram i am honored sue!

harryfan335 they are so cute 😭

billieeilish GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GORGEOUS

jennerfan333 y/n going to harry’s shows is so adorable

_basselin my favorite person ever 🤍

harryfan337 she’s such a supportive girlfriend

kyliejenner is that my shirt?

jennerfan336 loving y/n’s tour era

florencepugh missing her!!!

harryfan339 ohhh to be a rockstar’s gf

arianagrande the best girl ever

liked by harrystyles, yourinstagram and 5,202,744 others

kimkardashian my lunch dates

view all comments

jennerfan340 omg

harryfan342 APOLLO HAS BLONDE HAIR LIKE HARRY DID AS A CHILD 😭

yourinstagram we love you so much kimmy!!!

kimkardashian i love you both more 🤍

jennerfan345 this is seriously so cute

kendalljenner didn’t even invite me?

harryfan341 y/n is literally a #milf now

bellahadid awe!!!!

jennerfan346 wasn’t harry there with them 😭

harryfan348 i think so

annetwist my darlings 💞

jennerfan343 imagine your mother being y/n jenner…

kourtneykardash miss you both!

harryfan350 i love this 🥲

liked by yourinstagram, jefezoff and 25,910,732 others

harrystyles She said yes.

view all comments

jennerfan351 WHAT???

harryfan353 is that a ring…

yourinstagram always been mrs. styles just making it official

harrystyles I seriously love you Mrs. Styles.

jennerfan356 sleeping on a highway tonight

harryfan352 i’m so jealous right now 😭

kyliejenner OMG CONGRATULATIONS

jennerfan359 the ring is so big

florencepugh best news ever!!!! 💓

harryfan355 imagine getting engaged to harry fucking styles

emmalouisecorrin this is so huge, congrats mate

jennerfan357 they are literal soulmates

alessandro_michele styles forever 🍓

harryfan358 this is just so iconic

mitchrowland i’m crying for you

-

tag list: @harrysmatcha @harryspinkpillow @helen-with-an-a @florencepughily @peterparkerbae @toji-dabi-wife @fallonx @drphilssoulmate @cherriesrae @alienorknight @valluvsu @ivegotparticulartaste @ayeshathestyles @hazgoldenstyles @eiffelmezarry @tsukishimawhore @renatavieira @michellekstyles @eleanordaisy @shawnsblue @academiaghosts @japanchrry @agustdpeach @hannahnikohl @whoscamila @ch3rryrry @msolbesg @newyorker14 @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @youusunshineyoutemptress @eunoiamaa @kaitieskidmore1 @cherryfragrancx @ssuziess @milkiane @golden-hoax @flwrmuse @sunshinemendes8 @your--sweetest--downfall @melllinaa @iluvjj @tenaciousperfectionunknown @cashtons-wife @stellarossii @scenesofobx @manifestrry

[theaguanzon]

“Nice to see you again.” His sarcasm cut through the air as precisely as any knife, the lethal edge of his sword almost grazing her neck.

“Why, did you miss me?” she retorted, trying her very best to angle one of her blades in such a way as to stab him in the throat.

Guys, THE HURRICANE WARS is part of Barnes & Noble’s website sale on *all* preorders, and this time we have an incredible blurb courtesy of the one and only Kylie Lee Baker 🥹🫶🏼 This messy little enemies-to-lovers fantasy debut of mine is 25% off with code PREORDER25 until Friday. Get your copy here! 🌩️

[equallyshaw]

forever a leaf feat, OC Dubas + 23-24 leafs.

- possibly going to be adding a actual blurb, but not sure yet!

- also she’s like 20, since kyle (in this au) had Kylie when he was 17 with his then girlfriend.

—

@kyliedubas: see you on the flippity flip toronto.

Tags: Auston matthews, Mitch marner, Alex nylander, morgan rielly, kyledubas, Matthew knies

34.9k likes, 344 + limited comments.

•

@kyliedubas: Too many people to tag !!!

@tessavirtue: I’m gonna miss u girlie🥹🤍

↳ @kyliedubas: I’m crying even harder now 😭

↳ @morganrielly: gonna miss you in the 6 :(

↳ @kyliedubas: me too mo, me too 🫶🏻

@austonmatthews34: gonna miss king Kylie

↳kyliedubas: king Kylie forever 👑

@kyledubas: so many incredible memories with my kyles

↳ @kyliedubas: love you pops!

@stephlachance: come visit soon !!

↳ @kyliedubas: oh you already know :)

@mirandascott: 💙💙

↳ @kyliedubas: love you mama

@fanone: aweeee

@fantwo: you literally grew up here :/

↳ @kyliedubas: i know🫶🏻

@williamnylander: have nobody to compete with for best fashion

↳ @kyliedubas: I know !!!! Willy styles and king kyles style will be missed :’(

↳ @austonmatthews: what about me ?

↳ @kyliedubas: nahhh you have no hope

@mitchmarner: gonna miss you twinnie!!! But can’t wait to see what’s next

↳ @kyliedubas: 🤍

—

@kyliedubas: got the band back together🫶🏻

Tag: Kyledubas and mirandascott

49.3k likes, 1.3k comments.

•

@austonmatthews34: by far the best dubas

@williamnylander: smarty pants with a bachelors in 2 years 😎😎

@fanone: woah I never knew he was with somebody else before his wife

↳ @kyliedubas: yep!! They decided they were better as friends :)

@mitchmarner: Toronto job ? I know a guy who’s looking for some rent income 😌

↳ @kyliedubas: @stephlachance come get ur dude — stranger danger

↳ @stephlachance: lolol we always have a room open

↳ @kyliedubas: mom and dad 🥹

↳ @tessavirtue: oh

↳ @kyliedubas: omg !!! Grandma and grandpa

↳ @mitchmarner: @morganrielly 😭😭

@kyledubas: so proud of you kiddo, can’t wait to see what you do🫶🏻

↳ @kyliedubas: Thankyou for all the support 🤍

↳ @mirandscott: you have no idea how proud we are!

@jtavares: congrats kiddo!!

↳ @kyliedubas: Thankyou jt and family for the wonderful flower arrangement and chocolate

↳ @matthewknies: the literal way to her heart

↳ @kyliedubas: don’t you know it

@matthewknies: I feel dumb

↳ @bunting58: have you considered that you might be ?

↳ kyliedubas: omg let’s take it the gc ladies !

||

Hope you all enjoyed :)

Please like a reblog if you did

[oleksiak-pettersson]

If you’re taking any requests plez anything Quinn or petey 🥺

You swore you closed the door inaudibly. You take a breath and rest your forehead against the cool door. You could hear the TV playing some sort of football game, probably college because it was Brock's turn to choose.

"Y/N?" Brock calls down the hallway and you release the breath you were holding in. "You're home early."

Fucking eagle-eared Brock, you think, cursing him out as you slip your heels off and drape your coat on it's hook. Your purse is placed lazily on the table you'd bought the moment Brock agreed to be your roommate.

"Yeah, it's me," you reply, using all the will power in your body to not let the disappointment of the evening seep through your normally chipper tone.

You hear another voice cheer as the TV crowd also roars and your heart drops even more knowing that the group of young hockey players you call friends are still presently watching football on your comfy L-couch.

You paste a happy smile on your face as you finally make it down the hall to see the four grown men all staring at the TV with differing levels of interest.

Quinn is absolutely absorbed in the game and briefly glances at you nodding in acknowledgement. Nils smiles up at you from where he's sat, snacking like there's no game playing. Brock has a dog on either side of him, eyes following the play but have the slightest degree of worry as they take you in. You know he's totally on to the fact that you're home easily an hour before you truly should be.

Coolie's head lolls to look at you and his tongue falls out as Brock moves his hand along the pup's belly. Milo rushes off the couch and barrels towards you, his tail wagging a mile a minute. You greet the dog with equal enthusiasm, trying to figure out how to sneak him into your bed without raising any more suspicion.

Finally, your eyes fall on Elias. Your heart stops briefly, he's checking his phone. He hates nights when they have to watch American football - it's likely you missed his mini-rant about the name football and how this isn't it. He looks good, his hair is covered by a tuque that he's not wearing properly. Elias is wearing grey sweatpants and you briefly feel the need to run out of the room.

"So, how was your date?" Brock asks, a perfect eyebrow raised in question. It's a slow drawl and you know he's onto you. You hate how much he knows you too well.

All three other men's eyes shoot up to scrutinize you. They take in your nicest black dress and the fact that your high and makeup are perfect.

"That depends on how you define a date?" You counter, crossing your arms and leaning against the door way.

Quinn's eyebrows furrow as he focuses back on the game. "A date is a date. Two people, one event."

Brock and Elias roll their eyes in unison. They've seen Quinn operate, hell so have you. He's a smooth operator but has never gotten a second date so you take his opinion with a grain of salt.

Nils is the next to pipe up. "Like a dinner between two people?"

"Exactly, so not much of a date when it's only you." You utter, trying to focus on the game and ignore the ways in which all four men's jaws drop.

"You got stood up?" Quinn asks, his attention is fully on you now. To be fair though, he scrambles for the remote to pause the game before asking you.

Brock leans over and gives Quinn a whack to the back of the head. Nils also leans over to hit Quinn weakly in the chest. The brunet American lets out an audible "Hey!" and suddenly chaos has exploded in the living room.

You take this opportunity to sneak away and into your room. You don't notice that Elias' gaze lingers on your retreating figure. Milo follows you obediently, settling on your bed as your strip from your dress.

You remove your makeup and slip into your pyjamas and settle into your bed. Milo immediately cuddles into your side, wet nose pressing against your cheek. You chuckle at the silly dog, who moves to expose his belly the second your hand is on him.

There's a knock at your door and you sigh. "Brock, I'm okay. Go away."

"Uh, it's not Brock." A familiar accent sounds from through the door. You know Elias well enough to know that he's probably running a hand through his hair, questioning whether or not he should leave you alone.

"You can come in, Elias." Softly, you sit up and adjust yourself as Elias lets himself into your room.

He's got a hand sheepishly on the back of his neck. Elias is rarely nervous but you can read it on his body. His eyes are flitting around your room and his cheeks are flush. There's a pinkish hue raising up his neck.

"What's going on, Elias?" You ask, lips pursing as you move to tuck your legs underneath your body.

He struggles briefly within himself before he sits on your bed. His hands clasp in his lap and his attention is drawn to them. "I just wanted to check on you." He murmurs, accent thick as he tries to avoid your gaze.

"I'm okay, I wasn't really into this guy, I was just trying to distract myself from..." You trail off as you remember you're not talking to Brock but instead Elias. Elias who you're desperately in love with.

"From who?" Elias' voice comes out a lot deeper, as if he's trying to hide any hint of emotion.

"From you." You say quietly, your own gaze falling away from the blonde in front of you.

Then, there's a hand on your cheek, bringing your gaze back to Elias' gorgeous blue eyes. There's a fondness in them and it makes you melt. His eyes fall on your lips and then come back to your eyes, there's an implied question in this gaze. You nod your consent and suddenly his lips are on yours.

His bottom lip is plush against yours, his other hand comes to hold your other cheek and yours rise to his shoulders to pull you against him.

"Fuck yes! Quinner you owe me ten bucks!" Brock yells from the doorway, startling you and Elias apart. Elias is all reflexes to double-check that you're in no way, shape, or form in danger.

"Can we help you?" You ask your so-called best friend, currently rethinking that label.

"No, you already have. I no longer have to listen to either of you whine about how much you like the other, so thank you. Remember to thank me at your wedding." He states confidently as he closes the door and leaves.

You and Elias both turn back to each other and chuckle. Elias reaches out, taking your hand in his. He presses a soft kiss against your skin.

"Can I take you tomorrow night?" He asks.

You smile, "only if you promise to show up." You tease.

He holds out his pinky finger and you wrap yours around his.

[ijustreallylovethem]

sometimes he likes to finger it back in and then suck on her clit too. this is definitely how he makes her squirt for the first time (she doesn’t do it often)

omg little blurb on this? 🤭

she’s already a little overstimulated, and she can’t help her thighs clenching together as his fingers slip back inside of her. he lets out a small laugh, kissing above her belly button before opening her legs with his other hand and settling between them. he gives her clit a kiss before wrapping his lips around it, sucking softly and pulling loud moans from her. her hands are tugging at his har and her legs are only open because of his head between them.

it’s probably the fastest she’s ever reached her high, not even realizing that she’s made a mess all over the sheets and matthew. he just laughs at the situation, a cocky smile on his face.

“that good, huh?” kylie finally opens her eyes and realizes what happened.

“oh. uh…”

“don’t worry baby, that was hot.”

[hstylesloverr]

hi may i ask you a instagram blurb with nayeon from twice as the faceclaim? pls and thank u<3

YOU ARE HOME.

fc: im nayeon

im so excited for this!!! i love twice and i also love harry’s house so why i’m not doing this

-

yourinstagram vía instagram post

liked by harrystyles, annetwist, kyliejenner and 10,411,329 more

yourinstagram Harry’s House is Out Now! Go to stream! 🫶

ps: i absolutely love ALL the songs but daylight little freak and matilda are so personal to me

view comments

harryfan1 I’M SCREAMING

harrystyles Love you. You make my days a lot better. You are my inspiration and my home Xx

yourinstagram i’m crying on the floor come to the bedroom

annetwist ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

ynfan3 Soo… all the songs are about y/n 🥲🥲

harryfan2 yeah i feel like that

ynfan7 okay i love matilda but is so sad ☹️ i’m so sad about y/n’s childhood with her family and more about the fact that harry wrote a song about it

harryfan2 i want harry to write a song about my family issues

ynfan7 the part in cinema when it says “if ur getting yourself wet for me i guess you’re all mine” 😳😳😳😳😳

username I WANT TO BE Y/N SO BAD

arianagrande best album! 🤍

-

harrystyles via instagram post

liked by yourinstagram, gemmastyles, jefezoff, harry_lambert and 27,111,820 more

harrystyles Harry’s House. Out now.

view comments

gracieabrams The album is so good!

harryfan1 thank you y/n for this legendary album 🙏🙏🙏

yourinstagram harry has the talent for doing this, not me!

ynfan7 she’s so so so so supportive

jefezoff 👏👏👏👏👏

taylorswift13 I lovee this! Daydreaming is just incredibly insaneee

yourinstagram you are home

username the first pic of y/n 🥲

ynfan2 and to think that it all started thanks to kylie @ kyliejenner thanks queen 🙏🙏🙏

kyliejenner I feel like cupid right now

annetwist 💓💓

harryfan9 HE SLAYED

username if harry doesn't put a ring on y/n's finger i'll cry

-

harrystyles via instagram post

liked by yourinstagram, taylorswift13, kyliejenner, mitchrowland and 34,668,991 more

harrystyles Words cannot describe how grateful I am to you for everything you have done for me since we met. With your joy, your kindness, your sense of humor, your love. Harry's House started right from the moment I met you 3 years ago. Without you, I would not be what I am now, without you, I would not have what I have now, without you, I would not feel what I feel now. Thank you, Y/N, thank you for loving me so much that I can even feel the warmth of your love when we are miles apart. Your experiences are my home, your feelings are my home, your way of being is my home, your love is my home. You are home.

20.05.22 -H.

(Comments have been deactivated)

-

[thismessymasterpiece]

You Look Like An Angel

Summary - Is Eddie Munson an angel? Must be, Y/N feels like they've died and found a way into paradise.

Eddie Munson x GN!Reader (they/them pronouns used!)

Category - Fluff, maybe a little angsty at the end!

TW - Minor cursing, Eddie being a little sad softie at the end (I am so sorry for what you are about to endure-), (unsure if this could be one but I felt like it may be important to mention) "angel"/"angelic" used in a complimentary manner!

Please let me know if I missed anything!

Author’s Note - I feel like it is important here to mention that whilst writing this, I was unironically listening to "Love On The Brain" by Rihanna. Anyways... here you go, Kylie (@imabee-oralizard) and August (@mukbee); as promised! It is more of a blurb than a oneshot in my opinion and I wrote it in under half an hour so I deeply apologize if I did not do your prompt justice, Spencer, but I do hope you enjoy <3

Eddie Munson and his goddamn smile were Y/N’s absolute weakness. With Hellfire as his kingdom and his smile as his crown, Y/N was on their hands and knees to take a throne beside him. Both literally and figuratively.

His wicked club title was a misnomer and Y/N knew it. He was an angel gracing their presence with his.

Y/N watched as he grinned broadly and gestured wildly, conversing openly with Dustin at the head of the table. The words he was saying were lost on Y/N, their mind occupied with simply watching him.

“You busy there, Y/N?” Dustin chuckled, smirk full of wit.

“Uh huh,” Y/N mumbled mindlessly in response.

Dustin laughed aloud before turning away, walking to engage Mike in conversation across the room.

Eddie hid his smile behind the can of soda he chose to sip instead.

Y/N's mind did the work before they could approve of it.

“You look like an angel,” they whispered, chin rested dreamily in the palm of their hand.

Eddie’s drink practically jumped up his nose when he choked on it.

“What?” He wheezed, his diverted attention and sudden flustered feelings confusing him.

“I said you look ugly from every angle,” Y/N quickly amended, fearful of how much he could find out from their slip-up.

“Oh,” Eddie hid his pout behind the soda can he raised back to his lips, hoping Y/N didn’t notice how, all of a sudden, his eyes lost their light.

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - STREET FIGHTER (1994)

IMDB BLURB:  Col. Guile and various other martial arts heroes fight against the tyranny of Dictator M. Bison and his cohorts.

WARNINGS: Violence and just a whole lot of fucking weird shit

RATING: 20 Billion BisonDollars

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

Munch: So we're here again with the muthafuckin' street fighter movie which is so fucking great. Everything about this is absolute garb but it's so much fun. Raul Julia is putting his entire pussy into this absurd performance. Jean Claude Van Damme is the most hilarious "American" I've ever seen. His accent is so thick it hurts.

Biscuits: My opening thoughts are 'I'm eepy', okay?? (Biscuits is sleep-deprived again)

Dib: This movie was shot in a whole ten weeks and allegedly Jean Claude Van Damme was blasted off his ass on coke during the filming of this movie.

M: Watching his performance, I'm not at ALL shocked by that. ANYWAY. We open on uh...a really intense opening credit scene with a news reel talking about how bad M. Bison played by Raul Julia ( may he rest in peace ) is. Chun Li is reporting? Because she's a reporter in this?

B: Allied Nations, is this world war three???

M: Sort of, M. Bison is kind of the dictator

D: There's our man! I guess we just have like a hostage pit in M. Bison's doom dome? I forgot how shit the acting was. Raul was also years into battling stomach cancer when this was filmed.

M: VanDamme shows up as Guile and threatens Bison on the air which goes pretty well, you can't even understand his fucking accent.

B: I keep feeling phantom ants, like a meth addict. What is happening??

D: A lot, it doesn't slow down.

M: I'm trying to summarize but this goes like 100 mph. We've been introduced to Chun Li and Charlie and Blanka who are the same person, shut up, and E. Honda and DJ and Cami played by Kylie Minolgue.

D: Charlie and Blanka are different people in the game.

B: I don't understand what's going on

D: M. Bison has taken hostages and he wants 20 billion dollars from the government.

B: WHAT government???

D: THE government. Basically he wants it from Guile (vandamme) And now we're gonna be introduced to Ryu and Ken at a random street fight in a barbed wire electrified cage

B: These are Ryu and Ken??

Y’know, Ryu and Ken from Street Fighter...

D: And Vega, who kinda looks like his character. And that's Sagat. Sagat and Ryu and Ken have historical beef but not in this movie.

M: This is so much to take in. I guess Sagat is trying to get Ryu and Ken to help him sell guns.

B: So this white guy and this asian guy meet Barack Obama in some weird asian nightclub and they throw tennis balls at them and now they're fighting.

D: This will be the only fight for like...an hour. Meanwhile in Shadaloo? We're back with M. Bison. In this movie, Dhalsim is not a yogi, he's just a scientist? They couldn't do the stretchy limbs thing but come on.

B: They are just firing characters at us!

D: Canonically Blanka is just a weird guy, not some super soldier they created in a lab??? And definitely not Charlie.

M: Back to Dhalsim and M.Bison who is torturing BlankaCharlie with nazi propaganda and stuff to make him BAD. Also Zangief is here staring confusedly in the background, which he does the entire movie and I love him so much.

You can tell he’s being brainwashed because he’s wearing one of those photo-viewer toys from the 90s.

B: FUCKING OTTER POP JUICE LABELLED MUTAGENS DO NOT TOUCH! Can we fucking slow down please??

D: No! this movie does not. Now we're starting with another street fight between Vega and Rye-u or Ryu, it changes constantly.

B: I've seen better acting in a porno.

D: Ken looks like he belongs in a porno. Everyone is shirtless and the audience is horny.

B: That is not a real sword.

M: They could not afford real weapons.

B: When you don't have the money to score your movie, you can just throw in royalty free classical pieces! It’s not lazy or distracting at all!

D: But the fight is interrupted by a tank with Guile in it, and also 800 phone calls from Munch's mother.

M: That's not a joke, she’s called six times in the past half hour. Anyway, it's Guile. He's here with some guys that will not be relevant at all to the rest of the movie except maybe Cami but even then....and there's a spy guy.

B: Is that what spies do?? they just jump up in the middle of meetings and attack?? That's some good cold war espionage right there. What? Ken and Ryu are in jail eating scrambled eggs. That wasn't even a grammatically correct sentence.

D: Back in jail, they're all fighting for some reason.

M: Why?

D: I don't know. Guile is watching from above and back in Charlie's tickle basement, BlankaCharlie is being tortured again and there was a scream when his mouth was closed. Dhalsim is not happy with their methods though so he's gonna make CharlieBlanka look at nice things? they're making CharlieBlanka really swole by showing him bad things? and injecting him with dna otter pop mutagen.

I had to put an image in here of this shit to show you just how much it looks like otter pop juice.

M: Makes perfect sense. Back at the movie! Refugee camp with uh...the allies?

D: Here's ken and ryu and van damme

M: I guess he JUST broke them from prison?

D: Ryu and Ken are not criminals.

M: Just lovers.

D: No Ken is married. Not to Ryu.

B: Yeah, I've never heard of a married gay man.

M: Guile's accent is murdering me, his one liners are just so bad. So so bad.

D: Ken and Ryu fake beef for some reason. Vega hasn't said a single word in this movie. Oh they were stealing the keys.

B: They just throw the keys up in front of everyone, just show em off.

D: And then Ken gives Sagat and Vega the keys anyway but now there's a prison break.

B: I like how the Allied nation guys just have like random flags on them

D: Well technically that's supposed to be where they're from. Guile is shooting down a van but he just got shot.

B: What is the PLOT of this movie right now???

D: Chun Li does an epic dodge roll and there's shooting and then Ken and Sagat kiss. Just kidding. GUILE IS DEAD.

M: He's not though. There's medics, and now elephants back in Shadaloo. M. Bison is making a mini replica of Bisonopolis because he's gotta have a monument to his ego. Chun Li is reporting again about how bad Bison is and how Guile is dead. For real.

Reports have been coming in of a man posing as a health inspector in order to obtain free food.

D: DJ also didn't work for Shadaloo. Raul Julia M Bison's the hell out of this.

B: Is that what you want, M. Bison? Because I'm really confused about what your actual motivation is.

D: He's about to explain it.

B: So the evil leather daddy nazi wants to create an army of super soldiers to save everyone by...killing everyone?

M: Zangief sheds a tear and says Bison's speech was beautiful. He is my favorite. Everyone's alliances here are very suspect. There's a curfew now and stuff. Bad things are happening.

B: Why does Bison needs 20 million for this?

D: I don't know. Chun Li is apparently really a spy. Or a ninja. Or both.

B: She puts on like a bad balaclava and then she just like stealths up into the AN headquarters. Very sneaky. Apparently to sneak you just walk sideways in a black jumpsuit and put your hands up like oooooh.

D: She's got her very loud tracking thing and she's in the morgue, which is empty save ONE dead guy, being Guile. It's full of wet specimens in jars like any good morgue.

B: Oh fuck he's dead. I was so emotionally invested in this character.

M: I like how they just left him in his clothes. Like you do with dead bodies. No autopsy for Guile. He immediately has Chun Li arrested. She's got a sad backstory about how she wants to kill Bison for reasons.

B: I like the random classroom skeleton in the morgue. What war?? Is this just Shadaloo against the entire world?

D: Yep!

B: All the action sequences are so bad, she's just like speed walking away.

D: meanwhile at an illegal gun auction in Shadaloo....

M: Bison is sitting there while ppl who are definitely NOT Honda and Chun Li and Balrog in costume are performing. How did they get there? We don't know. Everyone is just in Shadaloo in a one kilometer radius but Bison doesn't notice.

D: and now Ken is horny for Chun Li but DJ is also horny for...someone. Ken is gonna get kidnapped.

M: Zangief is here, my special boy.

D: Ken is gonna get beaten by Chun Li because he's a scrub. Canonically.

B: Whoah pilot, I'm not that kinda guy. Bison and Sagat are getting a little too close.

D: Bison gives Sagat an entire case of "Bison Money" and says that it will be worth five times the pound when he kidnaps the queen. Which is a great line. Sagat gets mad.

B: Thanks for that backstory, now we know that Honda and Balrog were a sumo wrestler and a boxer. Someone should have told them they didn't need to put every single fucking character from the game in the movie.

M: But they did. Chun Li is planning to blow the entire place to smithereens and she left a fucking video message to let them know about it because that's smart. QUICK, CHANGE THE CHANNEL! says zangief. He is so dumb and we love him.

D: there goes the entire budget

B: They had to buy so many bootleg fireworks for that one scene, it must’ve cost them like 20 whole dollars. Well, 20 dollars in 1994 money, so that’s like $2 million in today's money.

D: I don't really know what Ryu and Ken even do in this movie

M: I don't think they really do anything.

B: This feels like the climax of the movie but we're only 40 minutes in.

D: This movie is a non stop climax. Meanwhile in space....we're gonna geolocate M. Bison with some bullshit tech.

M: Shouldn't be hard to find everyone, they're all in the SAME PLACE. Somehow Ken and Ryu are now M Bison's personal friends for turning in Chun Li and her friends. We don't to see how any of this happened.

D: Balrog and Honda are going to the sex dungeon while Bison goes to personally sexually harass Chun Li.

B: I can't parse if what you're saying is true

M: No it's all true.

B: Ken has to tell the audience who the good guys are

M: Guile is back at the base giving his men a speech about getting into Bison's secret hideout.

B: Their only option is ONE single boat to get into Bison's ancient ruin hideout, okay.

D: meanwhile E. Honda is getting a spanking and he is no selling it. He looks bored.

This is not a scene from a porno, I swear

M: Lots of experience getting lashes. Honda is gonna pull the chain right out of the wall because he's fucking swole. Zangief's accent isn't horrible, he's giving Ken and Ryu new oufits.

D: Ken's chest is covered because he's not actually buff. They're gonna just somehow communicate the two halfs of the map they saw? And here's Guile's speech which is so bad that his lips don't match because Van Damme was so out of it they had to overdub it

M: Guile tells a man he doesn't have balls and then he gets fired but it's fine because only Guile can fight Bison. The war is cancelled. No big.

D: He gives such an inspirational speech that everyone becomes war criminals and they're gonna go after Bison

M: I thought only one guy could get in there?

D: They're gonna follow him I guess. Guile gets in the bat boat mobile and he's gonna go kill Bison.

B: The real UN would've just been like - Please stop being a dictator or we're gonna write a stern letter.

M: Back in Bison's bedroom he's got Chun Li dressed like Chun Li and he's changed into his sex hat and sex robe and he's making an evil martini while Chun li exposits all over everyone about her tragic past.

B: In movies they have a thing called tell don't show, because why would you show something when you can just have someone tell us everything.

D: Back with Ken and Ryu and Honda and Balrog who have broken out but I guess they don't realize they're on the same side.

B: I do want Bison's giant bone chandelier. Hey do you wanna see my chandelier and my painting from John Wayne Gacy? ( that's really in there )

( No, really )

M: Chun Li is still fucking talking about how Bison murdered her dad and girl, he does not care. He's the bad guy. Bison knows women though and he's like, you are harmless. But that's what she wanted him to think!

D: she casually breaks her handcuffs and kicks Bison's ass by kicking him twice. Bison pretty good at fighting, actually.....OH NO THE GAS G-GAS GAS

M: What kind of gas? Who knows! Bison escapes in his uh...evil elevator?

D: Back in Guile's boatmobile, which is his because he has his name on it.

B: Can this movie just....pick a struggle...

M: Nope! and now for the needle drop with Guile's little home video of him and Charlie and then we're back with Blanka who looks like the Lou Ferrigno hulk

D: time for more evil with Blanka. But anyway Dhalsim is gonna give Blanka some nice asmr videos.

B: I love the way fake techy computer stuff looked in the 90's

D: they show him dolphins and weddings and babies and happy things. By the way, the entire Blanka storyline is completely irrelevant.

M: no it's true, nothing ever comes of it at all. I don't now why they put it in the movie. I don't know why they put most of this in the movie. Only Zangief.

D: Speaking of Zangief...he's here. Vega says his one line. I guess everyone got caught again. Oh they got gassed in the room. So now back with Guile they're gonna stealth mode, which changes literally nothing.

M: They just machine gun down all of Bison's sensors. Dj's accent tells us that something verrrrry strange is going on in the river, it's the invisible boatmobile!

D: Anti Guile alarm! Apparently they have an anti stealth mode. So now they're gonna get out M. Bison's big special boy floating platform with video game controls on it. Zangief looks around confused that Guile is alive.

M: all zangief does is look confused until the end. Bison is unsurprised Guile is alive and he's gonna kick everyone's ass whenever Guile and Cami and whoever else get there but apparently he's just gonna press buttons and use underwater mines.

D: Bison blows up the boat but somehow Guile and everyone get out. Insert coin to continue. meanwhile they realize Dhalsim has been beaming good vibes into Blanka's head and they accidentally release Blanka but he's full of good vibes now.

Yes, he does actually look this goofy.

B: They've just made a guy who's addicted to television.

D: Blanka in all his receding hairline glory is gonna save Dhalsim. the only thing he really does in the entire movie. So here's some Shadaloo guys getting beat up by Guile and T Hawk and Cami so they can finally infiltrate the secret aztec base.

M: Everyone is soooo stealthy. they just walk around and beat guys up. Good thing they have a sewer grate into the secret base. Guile and Co fall into a hole.

D: They're finally starting to look like their actual character counterparts. The movie is mostly over.

M: Bison's account has ZERO DOLLARS AND ZERO CENTS. Now he's gonna get mad. I wonder if he'd accept Bison Bucks instead of the 20 million.

Relatable.

D: Probably. OPEN THE HOSTAGE CHAMBER. Guile has broken into this place in 20 seconds, directly into the Blanka chamber.

M: Why do they just have an aquarium. And he finds Blanka and somehow immediately knows he's Charlie even though he doesn't look at all like Charlie. Blanka grunts a lot.

D: CharlieBlanka sad.

B: That was easy! Guile is just gonna shoot him, but Dhalsim stops him.

D: Bison is like why have I not been paid? Bro, you're asking 20 billion.

M: Who even are these hostages, are they worth 20 billion?

B: Who even fucking knows??? Raul Julia is CHEWING the scenery

M: I love it. he's giving 30000 percent.

B: What is the point of this blanka shit? Why is this even in the movie?

M: they're gonna send Guile instead of Blanka I guess, even though Guile isn't a super soldier.

B: I love Zangief, he just stands around looking so confused. I feel that.

D: Guile does a 20 foot leap and drop kicks Bison who orders people to shoot the hostages and now everything is happening so much

B: Everything has been happening so much since it started

D: Everyone gets more naked and the AN is here and E Honda and Zangief are gonna fight for 20 minutes.

M: I wish that was all that happened. Guile is now outside shooting people somehow and I don't now where Bison is.

D: Honda bodyslams Zangief through a secret passage. So Bison finds out Blanka was being programmed to be good and he punches out the screen and now the allied forces are here and Ken kinda almost does a shoryuken.

M: This fight lasts the rest of the movie. Bison is like, DJ and I willl face defeat together and DJ is like, yeah I'm out. Ken is kind of an asshole in this movie. Rye-u and ken get mad and Ryu goes back to save people even though he's not getting paid.

D: This movie is a non stop car accident. Blanka is destroying things while Dhalsim yells. The smoke machine broke and Guile is shooting people and nobody knows where Bison is, including us.

M: But he's not! He's gonna call Guile out and they're gonna fight in man to man combat!

D: Guile has the american flag tattoo! They're gonna street fight.

M: If his run in with Chun Li is any indicator, this should be easy. they show a video of Zangief and Honda destroying the model of Bisontopia with godzilla noises. I love this show. Bison and Guile are still fighting. Props to Raul Julia for fighting in that fucking outfit.

D: Balrog suddenly has his boxing skills back.

B: Where are the hostages?? In the hostage pit! Where do you think they are???

D: M. Bison has died.

B: He gets thrown into a control panel and dies.

D: No we haven't climaxed yet

B: ....but....fuck....whut...I think I've had an aneurysm.

D: Bison life support activated!

B: he has life alert!

D: His suit administers cpr, and now he's gonna use ELECTRICITY!

M: Meanwhile DJ is gonna grab a treasure chest that Bison has in his locker and get out. Ken is also looking for treasure but all he finds is a statue and a bad computer screen with icons but he does see Rye-u and yells at him. It's a trap!

D: Ryu gets ambushed by Sagat and Vega

B: I forgot they were in this movie

D: Bison is gonna fly.

B: Hold up *whispers* just for like...one second please.....WHAT. Why has the climax of this movie been happening for 80 minutes?

D: He's gonna fly. With superconductor electromagnetism. Yanno.

He’s playing the bass and I’m flyin’! (Editor’s note: how many times have I made this fucking joke?)

M: I love Raul Julia so fucking much though oh my god. I miss him. Oh yeah Ken and ryu are fighting and shit and people are losing their shirts.

D: He kinda did a Hadouken. Ryu is gonna burn Vega in the incinerator but only a mild burn

M: Ken and Ryu unsuprisingly win and now they're gonna go to Dizzkneeworld. Bison is just flying all over and shooting lightning at Guile but he's got BIG KICKS and he launches Bison into the screens and he explodes.

B: Oh shit the energy field is unstable!!! Oh shit!

M: Balrog punches open the hostage room. Zangief and Honda are STILL fighting but Honda is like welll I gotta run and Zangief is like DJ! Come fight with me! And DJ is like dude Bison is the fucking villian. Zangief is again confused. Bison is a bad guy???? You got....paid??? He is best boy.

D: Oh no the blast doors are gonna close! How are we gonna get out?? Oh it's ZANGIEF! Who somehow got outside and he's holding the door open and he's also much more naked. And now we're back with Dhalsim who is now bald and mostly naked and he's like nah I'll take CharlieBlanka out, we're fine.

B: WheaheIyeah???

D: And then the evil temple blows up and Cami and Chun Li kiss. Not really. All the Shadaloo henchmen are giving up

M: Zangief stands there proudly as a new good guy.

D: Sagat and DJ escape and now Sagat is shirtless but the treasure is actually BisonBucks

M: Everyone thinks Guile is dead but he's not and everyone is so happy to see him

B: He's been an asshole this whole time.

M: Everyone is good guys now!! And everyone is fine with that I guess. Chun Li and Guile have a little something something but it's kinda gross

D: Why is everyone horny for Chun Li?? Me at the entire Street Fighter Community.

B: Why is it still exploding?

M: The energy field

B: BUT WHY?? THIS WAS NEVER MENTIONED IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE UNTIL THE VERY END!! IT MAKES NO SENSE! ALL OF THE SUDDEN IT HAS A MELTDOWN??? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ENERGY FIELD???

D: What happened to Blanka and Dhalsim? We'll never know

B: I don't know what happened, period. What the fuck is going on.

D: This is the most insane movie I've seen in my entire life. The breakneck pace does not stop, it starts at an 11 and goes up to a 14 real quick and stays there. Zangief is best boy,

B: w...what? I don't have anything else to say. What was any of that???? What? Why?

M: You're looking for meaning where there is none. It's beautiful chaos.

B: I will say one thing...there's NEVER a dull moment. Not a single one. You're not given a second to be bored.

D: How many stars would you give this movie?

B: Mayonnaise.

[hockybish]

Lover au

Cole x Kylie

The Idea: Kylie is Trevor older twin sister. Cole always considered her just a friend. After reconnecting after a game and a big move to Montreal things start to change for the friends.

Get to Know Kylie

Blurbs/Fics

Lover

Kiss Me

Twins

Not Okay

So Tiny

Thoughts

Kylie's rough pregnancy How Cole helps Skating

Inspo

Insta

Requests, Thoughts, Comments, Questions are open for this au ❤️