#larp and the real girl: part one

[adhderall]

well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.

also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever

(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )

[kaibutsushidousha]

Kodaka April Fools tweets 2024

Lying just because it's April Fools' is so dull. Honestly painful to watch. Lying in general doesn't do you any good. In my younger days, I told every lie I could, saying some genuinely insane stuff about being a supreme leader of evil and whatnot, and thanks to that, now that I'm in my thirties, I got famous for all the wrong reasons and can't find a stable job because people think I'm associated with the yakuza... Sigh, I wanna deck my cringe younger self's face. Quit lying for fun while you can.

My classmates aren't doing great either. Thinking you're hot shit during your school days always comes back to bite you... My advice to my past self: slow and steady effort is worth more than any talent. Also, the part of life you spent larping with that silly horse laugh is not going to be one you'll want to remember later. I wish I could make that clear to him. White lies aren't a thing. Talent is never enough. My class is proof of that. Wanna know what my classmates are like now that we're in our thirties?

Akamatsu became a piano teacher. Her player skills capped off in her teens, it seems. But she's not that good at teaching so she's considered kinda mid at her job. And now she's struggling with the father of a student incessantly hitting on her. Tough world to live in.

Toujou opened a housekeeping company but she was too strict with her employees so everyone quit. And now she's doing everything on her own. Sucks to be in your thirties without any successors or employees. She's a prime example of how being so much better than anyone else doesn't do you any good. Well, she's always working for celebrities, so she's doing well financially, but I heard about some major court fight about a missing item under suspicion of theft from one of her clients. That can't be nice.

Yumeno got to her thirties still saying magic is real, so she's past the point of no return. She agrees that's an unhinged way to live, but she's too old to suddenly change gimmicks. Work takes her all over the country, but her gimmick doesn't allow her to publicly drink, so she has to get plastered alone in her hotel room after shows. I wish she could fix her life with real magic.

Harukawa? ...Haven't heard that name in a long time. Now she was a living edgy fantasy. The past tense was because I hadn't heard of her in a long time. I don't know the details, but apparently, she went to some war zone outside of Japan because her first love didn't want to date her. Takes some real edgelord to react to a broken heart like that, but if she's still alive, I have no idea how her thirties are treating her. My personal guess is that she's a mother of many.

Chabashira opened her Aikido school but is having a hard time attracting students. So she had the idea of starting an anti-sexual-harassment campaign that could double as advertisement, but thanks to her cluelessness when it comes to romance, she got canceled for mistakenly tossing men in regular couples. She's still doing the "degenerate males" bit in her thirties. Girl really needs to get on with the times. Rumor goes that she still downs huge packs of tequila bottles with Yumeno every now and then. Really don't think there's any salvaging her reputation.

Shirogane is an office lady still continuing her cosplay hobby on the side. She could be doing well if she knew how to keep her mouth shut but frequently rambles about cosplay history and etiquette, so no one likes having her around. Stay emotionally dependent on a single hobby long enough and your passion starts to close you off to others. That's her problem.

Angie was the most successful in the class! She made big money both on the art and the religion fronts. However, there were some controversies about her devotees selling counterfeits of her paintings at exorbitant prices and one magazine made a huge news coverage of it, which resulted in her catching the police's attention. She's been recently untraceable, with the rumors saying that she'll never be back to Japan.

Oh, and Iruma... Up until some point, she had the best life of all of us. She made big money off of her inventions' patents. So far so good. Things only started going off-rails after she married an ex-stripper. The two started a YouTube channel together. And later, her husband ran in last year's elections and lost big time. They got an awful debt from his election campaign and she had to get into side jobs to pay it off. And her husband? Disappeared. No word from Iruma herself about what happened. Tough world to live in.

No further updates from Kodaka in the past 3 hours, so I assume he went to sleep and will come back to tweet about the 7 remaining boys in the morning.

[vaguely-concerned]

another really interesting thing in our man bashir to me is that I think this is the point where garak finally mostly relinquishes his self-appointed role as bashir's teacher. he seems to have taken it upon himself early on, for inscrutable but probably partially horny, partially cultivating a promising (and lovely) contact reasons of his own, to imbue julian bashir with some spysmarts and basic bastard thinking literacy skills, in the hopes that he won't go get his bright beautiful excitable ass killed at the first opportunity. there's a lot of mentor/protege undertone there in the early years. (if you want to get into asit stuff, very much in the same vein as palandine and garak's relationship in the beginning.)

but in omb garak really only has one of his little lectures, and it's basically about The thing about being a spy (and a person) that has most shaped his life: That's something else you've yet to learn, Doctor. A real intelligence agent has no ego, no conscience, no remorse. Only a sense of professionalism. There is no joy, no magic, no real delight to this, no winning, no recognition, and most importantly no connection; the reward for work well done is only ever the work itself. You don’t kiss the girl, get the key — you simply get on with turning yourself into nothing as best you can. and julian, who had just been trying to momentarily imagine a world where secrets can be cool and glamorous and for good, meaningful reasons that empower him to help the world rather than shameful and isolating and alienating and like a damocles sword hanging over him and everything he cares about, shoots back with 'well, but what if not that, though? that's the whole point of this game! this is my story not yours, trust me to know it better than you do. (I have more things to teach you too, if you’d just listen. And once he gets shot a little bit, garak does listen.)'

(somewhere beneath all this is almost exactly the same debate they will have explicitly later on -- "Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all"/"If that's true, that's one lesson I never want to learn". Something something the freedom to imagine and play around with different worlds in your head, no matter how cringefail james bond LARP nonsense that world is as long as it brings you hope and joy and new perspectives, kill the part of you that cringes etc. Garak you're allowed to get out of the closet in your head now, Tain is gone, you can imagine different things than what has been and no one will turn it against you. Im… sad)

through most of this episode garak is observing, and when he's not simply bitching about everything from the sidelines (<3), he's tentatively trying to throw in comments to play along, to figure out how the flow goes like he's learning a different language, and he's BAD at it hahaha. he barged in there to put himself in a position to learn something about julian bashir's ~*hidden inner psyche*~, but UH-OH spiritual uno reverse card time he's having to face some shit about his own psyche and the immense barrenness it's been forced to operate under for so long.

The learning between them has of course always been two-way (that’s partially what the whole relationship is built on), but in giving up the more ‘formal’ role — mask — of teacher, garak is also opening up space for realer emotional intimacy, letting one layer of artificiality fall and allowing more realness to shine through. even so he doesn’t let go of control completely until he’s faced with irrefutable (horny) proof that julian’s sentiments and ideals are backed by real conviction — julian knows (possibly better than garak does) what is a game, and what is real, and where he draws the line between frivolous and deeply necessary is different from where garak would and by the end of the ep I think garak trusts julian more, enough to leave the story in julian’s hands without trying to steer or form him even indirectly/sneakily. And to top it all off, the way julian uses his last dramatic speech to signal that he did also listen to what garak told him… augh.  

the teacher role, along with the lies (ever his swiss army knife god bless), has helped garak keep a sort of fine-tuned control of the level of emotional intimacy possible between them, stay in control of what narratives are even on the table. and I think finally letting that fade more into the background transforms their relationship in ways that can pay off big time down the line, for all that it leaves things a bit strange and tentative in the meantime. by garak standards he’s being positively transparent in this episode. for the first time he talks about his time in the order without any coy prevarication, he states his hunger for knowing julian better right down to his ~*hidden inner psyche*~ almost pathetically openly (<3<3<3<3). And this is just my headcanon and definitely not what was meant at the time of airing, the unplanned nature of the augment reveal being what it is, but in context of the whole show as it became it feels a lot like garak offering some of his own authenticity to signal that julian could trust him with his. It feels like garak has figured out at least the rough outlines of what julian has uh got going on and tried to make this gambit, having… perhaps underestimated the extent of the defenses julian has internally/psychologically against Being Known, quite aside from the practical real world consequences of his secret getting out. Anyway. Lots in this episode. Many thoughts.

[dailyadventureprompts]

Therapy Vs. Power Fantasy

Like a sage delving through cursed tomes to discover lost truths I recently I stumbled into some of the danker corners of the internet and abzorbed some absolutely vile takes. One of the recurring themes that popped up was people with rancid personal beleifs taking aim at the newer generations of TTRPG players (d&d and otherwise) for finding personal meaning or catharsis in their games, and how these new gamers were spoiled children who were getting overinvested.

Of course, they contrasted this "bitch" behavior there's a lot of other mysoginistic, homophobic, and ableist slurs they like to throw in when youtube TOS isn't looking with the badass way they play the game, like they've been doing ever since they were kids, like they still do in their playrooms mancaves away from all those pissbabies and girl feelings.

This got me thinking, specifically about power fantasies, how vunrability relates to art, and how repressed men are terrified of seeming weak, and how the early d&d lore is laregely based around childhood or adolesent fears.

The tie between media illiteracy and conservatism is nothing new. To enjoy art, you have to open yourself to it, to the chance of elation or disapointment or challenge, to let it resonate with you in ways you can't nessisarily predict or control. The fascist conservative only likes art that reinforces who they perceive themselves to be, strokes their ego, and confirms their biases about how the world should be.

It's very telling then that when you see chuds talking shit about younger d&d players, they often throw "therapy" around as an insult, because much in the same way that art can touch something inside you, therapy is about challenging your ingranned self image, toxic ego, and beleifs... all things that chuds consider vital to their sense of self.

This is not to say that a power fantasy can't be theraputic: a good portion of my own writing is about vicariously smashing broken systems and ousting the corruption of the world.. but there's a fundimental difference in the power fantasy of raising your fist against unjust power and the fantasy of being the boot inflicting that power downwards on those you dislike.

What the chuds are trying to do here is use d&d (or whatever OSR itteration they've decided to parasite this week) as a balm for their insecurity, not ask questions about WHY they're scared of being weak, or what strength really is, but to have a space where they can larp as being the ubermench real MEN they've always fallen short of IRL.

They're people who were bullied and ostrasized, and like good little bootlickers they've decided that the only thing wrong with their abuse was that they were the ones on the reciving end. Part of the reason they're so upset that this new generation of players is so "woke" is because the "woke" players refuse to put up with them being assholes, dening them the chance to establish themselves as the new top-rung in the abuser hierarchy.

Also, before I sign off, mad love to my friends in the OSR community, I know you have to put up with an above average number of these dipshits and while you prefer a different style of game to mine I know we're all fighting the good fight for a better, more welcoming TTRPG hobby.

[aylacavebear]

The Curse That Changed Your Life - Part 1 Chapter 2

You were just a regular, ordinary woman in your twenties working at the Gas N’ Sip. Life was simple and boring, and you liked it that way. It wasn’t until some strange woman came to your store, mumbled some Latin under her breath, that everything changed. So, you did the only thing you could think of with your new appearance, became a dancer at a club far from the town you grew up in. But what will you do when the green-eyed FBI agent starts asking questions?

Pairing: Dean Winchester x OC Reader/You

Word Count: 2815

Warnings: Angst, Slow-Burn, Death, Dashed Hopes - severe depression, Spell Ingredients, Charlie being nosy (yes, this is a warning).

A/N: This one played through my mind while listening to Cherry Pie one day on my way to work.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 2

That first month at the bunker was interesting, to say the least. Dean had done his best to keep his comments to himself and only ogle you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. That hadn’t lasted long. 

It had happened the first day and only an hour after you’d been awake. He’d opened his mouth and said something, but before he could even realize what he’d said, you’d made it to the other side of the table and slapped him. All you remembered at this point was that it had something to do with your ass and the way it looked in your shorts. Sam was dying of laughter before you’d left the kitchen to enjoy your coffee in the library.

The bunker, on the other hand, was fascinating. It was massive and held tons of information on the things that went bump in the night. The facilities alone had your jaw on the floor. 

You also couldn’t count how many times Sam apologized for his brother’s behavior. You shrugged it off, though, explaining you wouldn’t tolerate it and Dean would eventually stop. Sam attempted to explain how stubborn his brother was, but you simply told him that he could exercise some manners.

Near the end of the first week, you met Eileen. She was sweet and kind, which you were thankful for. However, you were surprised to learn she was deaf and wished you knew sign language. She had decided to stay at the bunker while trying to figure out this witch business.

Charlie was energetic. It was the only way you could describe her when she showed up. She said something about having to see you with her own eyes, which was when you learned she was into games and things like LARPing. She showed up a couple of days later.

She bombarded you with questions, most of which you didn’t mind answering. It was the other ones that she had gotten persistent with that you just said no to without giving her a real reason. So, after almost three weeks, she was getting a little whiny about it as the five of you sat around the tables in the library, pouring through books.

“Please. I’ll be gentle,” Charlie begged you again to touch your tail.

“Charlie, I’d rather you didn’t, and let's leave it at that,” you replied with your nose still stuck in the book in front of you.

“How come?” she pouted.

You sighed, “It’s… personal, okay.”

“Pleeeaassseeee,” she whined, making you groan.

They’d been back from a supply run for about four hours now, and you were pretty sure you’d have to give her something more than just a ‘no’ to her incessant begging.

Without even looking up from your book, you answered her flatly, “I’m not into girls, and it’s rather sensitive.”

“Oh,” Charlie replied, somewhat surprised. Then she got curious again, “Are your ears like that too?”

You rolled your eyes and sighed, “Yes. Now, can we drop the topic?”

Dean was thankful that you were more focused on the book and not him. It had been ridiculously hard not to make remarks about your looks, let alone keep his expression from giving away what he was thinking about. Now, he was beyond curious and even more interested in you, in a far more physical way than you wanted to have with him.

“Yeah,” Charlie began, and just as she was about to go back to her book, she looked back over at you. “Wait. Do you go into heat like a cat, too?”

“How the hell do you get away with asking her that, but I can’t?” Dean complained loudly.

You’d had enough at that point. You understood they were curious just how cat-like you were, but that one had hit your last nerve. Without a word, you grabbed your book, the mostly full bottle of whiskey, and went to your room, slamming the door behind you.

“What’d I say?” Charlie asked, fairly confused.

“Pretty sure she doesn’t want to discuss her personal stuff with anyone, Charlie,” Sam chuckled, his nose still stuck in his book. He’d stayed out of the conversation, as had Eileen.

“But, why’d she have to take my whiskey?” Dean pouted, looking at his mostly empty glass now, making Sam laugh at him, again.

None of them had an answer for him, and you weren’t about to go back out there to tell him you needed something to drown out your thoughts and the overwhelming emotions. You slipped the pieces of cotton in your ears before getting comfortable on your bed with the book.

As you read, you sipped the whiskey. It was yet another book on witches and spells. You weren’t even sure how many you’d read through in the last almost five days. Mostly, you glazed over the ingredients of spells but paid attention to the important details.

An hour later, though, you were now sitting up, reading the same spell for the fifth time, and your heart was pounding in your chest. It was a spell to summon the witch that had cursed you. It was the witch’s love of sweets that you instantly recognized within the wording. You realized the main reason you had to help the brothers in this regard: the spell itself called for your blood and some hair of your feline features. The problem was that there was a high likelihood you’d be stuck like you were, and that was because of how far the physical changes had gone. 

Great!

You slammed the book shut and just sat there thinking about your predicament. Within minutes, though, your conscience got the better of you. Opening the book back up to the spell, you returned to the library.

“Here, Sam. I found the spell, and yes, you can use my blood,” you grumbled, plopping the book down on the table in front of him.

All of them jumped a little, their eyes on Sam, you, and the book that Sam was now reading. He only glanced at you briefly, and you knew he’d read about the warning.

“Hey, can I have my whiskey back?” Dean asked.

“Yeah,” you mumbled, going back to your room.

More than half the bottle was gone at this point, and you took one more swig before you returned to the library and set it in front of him.

“Sorry about drinking so much. I’ll pay for more,” you told him somberly before returning to your room.

So much for ever being normal again.

The thought was depressing. You hadn’t wanted to hope, but it had gotten the better of you, and now, you were somewhat depressed. Your entire body felt heavy as you climbed into bed, not even bothering to change your clothes and turned off the light.

Back in the Library…

“You gonna share, Sam?” Dean asked, still looking toward the hallway where you’d gone.

“Well, the good news is we can summon the witch. The bad news,” he sighed, “She might be stuck that way.”

“Is there nothing we can do?” Eileen asked.

“Not unless we involve Rowena, and even that could be risky according to this,” Sam explained, “Even if we kill this witch, it might not break the curse.”

“I thought that was how all curses were broken, by killing the witch,” Charlie questioned, now confused.

“If her body was changed too much—more like a cat than a human—killing the witch wouldn’t turn her back. Then there’s the other problem. Trying to break that curse could kill her,” Sam sighed, leaning back in his chair.

“So, she’s stuck like that?” Eileen asked.

“Probably,” Sam sighed, glancing toward the hallway. He probably felt the worst for the situation you had ended up in.

Dean didn’t make a single comment or snarky remark. He actually felt bad, too. It was sort of fun to tease you a bit about your cat features, but now, he really did feel bad. He had found you utterly attractive from the missing person’s reports. Then, seeing you with cat ears and a tail, he could barely think straight.

Now, though, after spending a month with you and getting to know you a little more, his interest had gone further than your looks. He still somehow wanted to help you, even if you couldn’t be normal again. 

“So, we gonna summon this bitch tonight or tomorrow?” Charlie asked, pulling Dean from his thoughts.

“Probably tomorrow. We should all get some rest,” Sam replied.

The following day…

You may have woken early, but you stayed curled in bed.

Why did I have to get my hopes up?

The room was dark, but seeing in shades of grey kept it from ever looking like the blackness you remembered the dark looking like. The cotton was still in your ears. You’d discovered that trick a week after you’d changed, thankful it made things sound normal again.

Grabbing your phone off the night table, you glanced at the date and rolled your eyes, knowing that your monthly cycle would hit you in a day or two. It was mostly like you’d had when you were human, but since you’d changed, so had it. 

You groaned, turning off your phone and putting your face in your pillow, not wanting to get out of bed. 

It’s gonna be a long week.

Perhaps you fell back asleep or just zoned out, but you weren’t quite sure. A knock on your door pulled your attention to it sometime later.

“Come in,” you mumbled loud enough for whoever it was to hear you.

Someone gingerly opened it and stepped partway inside, holding the door halfway open, “Did you want some coffee? Or, are you gonna sleep the day away?”

It was Sam, and you sighed silently, “Coffee,” you mumbled.

He came over and sat on the side of the bed, “I’m sorry about all this. We’re going to keep looking for a way to try to change you back, okay?” 

“It’s okay,” you replied somberly, rolling over to look at him.

Sam noticed how low your ears were drooping. After hours of research on cats, he learned that your ears and tail always revealed precisely how you were feeling. He had no clue how to ease the sadness you were going through, though.

“Come on. There’s coffee in the kitchen,” Sam said, giving you one of those compassionate smiles that made you smile, even if just a little.

“All right. Lemme change, and I’ll be there in a few minutes,” you replied.

He left you to change, and then you headed into the kitchen. It was past nine already, and all of them were awake. Even if you’d wanted to, you couldn’t get your ears to stop drooping or your tail to show anything other than the defeat you’d found yourself in.

After grabbing a cup of coffee, you joined the four of them in the library, making sure not to step on the symbol they’d drawn on the floor. One of the library tables had what looked like an altar with a bowl, ingredients, and candles, but you barely glanced at it. 

“You want to drink that first or summon this bitch and watch her burn?” Charlie asked, trying to help you feel better.

All you did was shrug your shoulders. You stood next to Sam and looked down into the bowl before you looked up at him and held out one of your hands. 

“If you’d rather do it-” Sam began, but you cut him off.

“Just, do it, and let's get this over with,” you told him.

He sighed, “How about you cut the hair from your tail? Then I’ll do the cut on your hand if you’d like.”

You gave him a small smile before taking the blade, cutting some of the hair from your tail, and placing it in the bowl. But when it came time to cut your hand, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it and handed Sam back the knife and looked away when he made the cut. That hurt like hell, and you hissed the moment it pierced your skin.

Balling your hand into a fist, you turned it sideways, letting the blood drain down and into the bowl, mixing with the other ingredients. Then, Dean came close and wrapped your hand in a handkerchief. 

There was something gentle about his touch and the softness in his expression, even though he never looked directly at you. His focus was on your hand and securing the handkerchief securely without hurting you.

You stood back, your gaze on the symbol on the floor, while the other four stood near each other. Sam spoke the spell in Latin. After that, he tossed a lit match into the bowl as orange smoke swirled up and through the air.

For a moment, you blinked blankly at the woman who appeared inside the symbol. She resembled the woman you saw a year and a half ago, but there were so many differences. The biggest one was that she looked far younger than she had.

“Oh, there’s the kitten I lost,” she cooed, looking over at you, and her smile again creeped you out. When her eyes met the four others, she quickly frowned, “Winchesters.”

“Turn her back,” Dean growled, and it surprised you that those were his first words to her.

The witch's expression went to utter amusement, “Can’t. Sorry. She’s stuck that way. I’m just surprised the spell didn’t fully take.”

“What? Was she supposed to turn into an actual cat?” Charlie asked sarcastically.

“Yes. Quite interesting,” the witch mused, now standing as close to the edge of the symbol as possible, looking you over. “I need to find out why the spell didn’t work, and how to fix it so you do turn into a cat. I need a loyal familiar.”

You felt sick, and her words made your skin crawl. With as close as she was, Eileen slapped a pair of cuffs on her. They’d explained that the cuffs would keep her from using any sort of magic, and it was for all of their safety.

“You’re going to undo the spell. Turn her back into a human,” Dean growled again, and you couldn’t quite figure out why he seemed so adamant all of a sudden. His tone almost felt more than just trying to help someone.

The witch just rolled her eyes, “I told you. The spell can’t be reversed. All I can do is make it so that she turns the rest of the way into a cat, and my loyal familiar. So, take these off, and I can get started.”

“Then we don’t need to keep you alive,” Eileen told her, crossing her arms.

For the moment, all you could do was stand there, lost in your thoughts at the witch’s revelation. You had enough trouble having the features and qualities of a cat that you did. You had no desire to be an actual cat, let alone the witch’s familiar. 

You didn’t hear any of the rest of the conversation between the five of them and, at this point, had backed up to one of the chairs, sitting down. With your mind racing with thoughts and too many emotions coursing through your body, it was the gunshot that made you jump. 

Looking up in just enough time to see the witch’s body hit the floor as the light faded from her eyes. Dean crouched in front of you while the others began cleaning up. He was attempting to talk to you, but you didn’t hear him. When he snapped his fingers in front of your eyes, you finally refocused on reality and looked down at him, still in a state of shock.

“You with me, Sweetheart?” he asked, slightly loudly, making sure he had your attention. You nodded, as making words wasn’t working at the moment. “I’m sorry that we couldn’t turn you back. We’ll keep looking until we can find a way.”

The sadness and despair hit you like a ton of bricks, your gaze going to your hands in your lap and away from Dean. You sniffled quietly as the tears slipped down your cheeks. Even when Dean put his hand over yours, you couldn’t look at him.

He sighed heavily, stood, kissed the top of your head, and then began helping the others with clean up. You weren’t sure how long you had sat there before you finally made your way to your room, fell into your bed, and cried yourself to sleep. You also didn’t care about much at the moment.

You’d hoped there would have been a way you could be human again and have a normal life. That hope had grown over the last month, and now, your world felt like it fell in on itself, and some darkness was going to swallow you whole. 

----------------------------------------- Chapter 3

Series Master List Part 1 Master List Part 2 Master List Past 3 Master List Main Master List

As always, if you'd like to be tagged, let me know in a comment.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @zaratahir @jc-winchester @suckitands33 @n-o-p-e-never

@nancymcl @deans-spinster-witch @kindollss

[penguinkyun]

chapter 159 review

trigger warning: this chapter deals with a canon suicide which will be referenced. please click off if it affects you! your mental health is important

this is the second chapter in a row thats accompanied by me having a fever. not sure if that says anything. anyway

i take back very little of what I said last time because the point about ruby not surpassing ai still holds, but at least she wasn't stabbed like ai. at least.

instead we got the comedy of akane wearing a knife proof vest with ichigo planning the whole thing. and yknow what im actually totally fine with this. its better than ruby being stabbed and its inadvertent subtext of "ruby is a better idol than ai, so much so she survived being stabbed" that comes with the scenario where it actually was ruby who was stabbed and survives especially with the surrounding hamfisted narrative of ruby surpassing ai

i really do like the significance of ichigo correcting his mistakes with ai by making sure no one dies in the second attack, because he is the character who has to correct his failures relating to ai's death. its great that he gets to do that in this chapter!

whats not great is him using a 19yo girl as bait in order to correct said failures. what if nino went for the throat? but then again it is in line with ichigo's character *gestures at him guilt tripping aqua in 108*

whats funny is that ichigo apparently knew ryousuke and nino were dating and just did not investigate her in the least. i could play devil's advocate for him here and say that even if he did investigate nino, ai hid who the father was and idk if nino wouldve given hikaru up at that point and theres no real way to get concrete evidence hikaru and ryousuke knew each other, not to mention goros death wasnt found out until 16 years later and even then you cant connect ryousuke to it, but thats all flimsy, paper thin justifications. cmon aqua was better at the revenge job when he was 16 and akanes been doing it better for years, ichigo do better you failed at investigating 101

(cinemasins voice) akane has double hoshigans in this chapter but last chapter she had only one hoshigan

get yourself a murderer who apologises after stabbing you

another giggle is ichigo going (shocked pikachu voice) NINO?! when her hood falls because like. Did You Not Know it was nino? like you really didn't? did you just expect someone to attack on the day of the final concert like what happened to ai? why would you expect that? i can definitively say aqua didnt tell him because aqua said shit in 155 to ichigo, but apparently neither did akane??? he really just expected it to happen. what was he gonna do if the attack happened at the concert?? what was the plan here ichigo??

155!akane: i cut my hair because i didn't feel the need to imitate hoshino ai anymore

158-9!akane: so i'll larp as her daughter instead!

i will say that this dialogue of ninos is actually what ive always thought was part of her thought process

Nino: "If Ai was nothing but an ordinary girl, what would that have made the rest of us then? I just want Ai to be “special.”`

my interp of nino was always that her idolization of ai was her coping mechanism for dealing with the Everything in first gen bkomachi, a coping mechanism that turned into an true belief after ai died because she doesnt want to face the facts about her and ai's relationship: that ai wasnt invincible, nino did hurt her and they never made up. its protection against the sheer grief and regret that would overwhelm her because she never received any closure in regards to that which was compounded by the disbandment of bkom a mere 2 years later, losing her boyfriend and her idol so horrifically (especially after she told them to die) and the years of mismanagement in bkomachi because. all she really wanted to be was friends with ai. and if they were really ordinary girls they would've made up, right? but they didnt and now nino has to live with that

nino saying she wanted to be friends with ai too is all the emotional catharsis and closure i had hoped she would get since 132 and im really glad to see that its here

unfortunately that catharsis is preceded by the plot contrivance that is nino stabbing ruby in the first place which is further duct taped together by the reason nino went after ruby which is that ruby apparently surpassed ai which — no she didn't

and that total plot device becomes even more bullshit by this chapter, where ruby is mimicking ai right down to the cut of her idol dress, her poses and double white hoshigans which gives the message that yeah. ai really was the greatest and most invincible idol who nobody could rival. because even in what is supposed to be rubys moment of triumph at reaching new heights, shes not allowed to do it by her own unique charisma.

ruby has to be shown surpassing ai visually, but because the set up was so utterly hamfisted, all thats left to show her doing so is making her do ai's own poses instead of letting what makes ruby an effective idol shine through, because her character has been so butchered, her original love and compassion for idols and life and the people around her were molded to fit whatever the plot needed to be that this moment, which is supposed to be ruby's shining moment, it just. it just rings hollow.

throughout the latter half of the movie arc shes been wanting to surpass ai on her own terms but shes not allowed to do so and instead ends up just being Ai. its all of the payoff with none of the required set up

speaking of payoffs and setups, kanas situation is the total inversion of this where kana has all the set up for her romantic resolution, her chance to shine the brightest on stage and turn everyones glowsticks white and there's absolutely no payoff. she isnt even the centre in her own graduating concert! aqua isn't there to watch her spellbinding performance because hes dealing with his father whos possibly an antagonist again so her one dream from 151 doesn't get fulfilled! she's gotten utterly pushed to the side because akasaka brute forced the "ruby surpasses ai" in 158 and realised it had to be fulfilled and thus we got whatever the hell was this final bkomachi concert. kana gets tiny singing panels with two dedicated to her solo act (which was actually nice to see at least she Did get the spotlight and her tearing up about graduating ;-;) while ruby gets the biggest, shiniest panels at kana's graduation concert and mem? who's mem? she's barely there and honestly feels like an afterthought with how her age scandal just had no tangible impact whatsoever on literally anyone! it just feels like a thread akasaka just wanted to get out the way

in general the handling of bkomachi's structure, especially now that kana is leaving and mem will age out soon along with her applying to colleges, along with how mem's reveal impacted their presence in the industry, and the impact of ruby's black hoshigan shenanigans severely skewing the popularity to her side has been incredibly lacking and its honestly just sad considering how important B-Komachi as a whole is to all of their characters.

and this scene just pisses me off entirely on ruby and bkomachi again but i ranted about that enough in 158 askhfskd moving on

coming back to nino and ryousuke for a second its honestly a little funny that nino's gay crush on ai was so strong she forgave ryousuke for jumping ship to another idol

on that note though it does touch on something re: nino and her idolisation of ai being her coping mechanism. of course everyone would move from her to ai, ai is the best , of course she would lose all relevance in bkomachi, ai is the best, of course her boyfriend would choose ai, ai is the best. it makes it easy for her to cope with being so strongly and so deeply in ai's shadow — if ai was imperfect that means nino would have to face the hurt, anger and sadness at constantly being second choice when in consideration with ai, that she would have to face that she deeply hurt ai, because that would mean ai was just as normal as her and that would mean that nino wasn't good enough. but if ai was Perfect then its obvious, isn't it? you pick the prettiest flowers after all.

although nino telling two people to die and then they actually do is. yikes. i want to hug her

speaking of ryousuke, the question of nino saying "ever since we let him die..." (mangaplus TLed it as "killed him" but that is a mistranslation which is also proved incorrect by this chapter) is answered here! i had originally assumed it meant they failed to stop him from committing suicide and that's...partially true. on the timeline, its a bit difficult to pinpoint when exactly nino yelled at ryousuke, but considering she says she forgave him for jumping ship and then says `when i told him to go die, he obeyed me just like that` when the visuals clearly show her in shock, that implies in the small window between ai dying and ryousuke committing suicide, he might have called nino in a panic, probably on a payphone and she yelled at him to die in her panic and anger at hearing yknow. that he killed ai. and that was his last straw and then she found him dead when she went to search for him

that still doesn't answer my question of how on earth ryousuke and hikaru got to the hospital ai was at

and so besides all of what i just said about nino, her and ryousuke is clearly a blatant retcon <33. none of it remotely makes sense in an in-universe context line up of events and like basically the only thing it confirms is that ichigopro really were lax about dating. net zero information gained

that being said akane implying that someone else was behind all of the murderous shenanigans going on and that someone being implicitly confirmed to be hikaru by aqua's dialogue is just...why? why bother with the nino red herring? it's a bit hard for me to put a finger on why exactly i don't really like this, but it's like. 154 showed him to be utterly defeated and depressed over ai still loving him and him having killed her and being the final end to their love story it really felt like hikaru was going to do something to make up for it! the 158 phone call even implies this! but by what akane and aqua say here, it gives the feeling of hikaru having been behind ai's and also now, what would have ruby's attempted stabbing? with making him do a deranged yandere smile to boot? it just feels off

i dont really want to make any predictions just yet so i'll just. watch where this goes

i did like aqua's mephisto jacket tho

no break next week!!!

[queenhellwitch]

Jared Fucking Padalecki.

Re: Twitter, and the bunches of people who are criticising Jared for not being as good at acting as Jensen (misinformation about Jared's "problematic nature" aside, the intricacies of "he's not your fave but he's right there in every episode so he's not a bad actor, he just annoys you" aside, and the [probably correct] "you just hate him cuz he's not part of your ship" ideas also aside...)

It's so easy to see Sam as the boring, huffy, grumpy one who is only there to piss Dean off and to piss on Dean's always ever-so-hilarious bonfire (I've actually seen people use Sam's 'I'm so done with this shit' persona as the reason to claim Jared is a bad actor - that he's merely playing himself, just stands there and "huffs and puffs", he's booooring, wah wah. Tell me you've never seen Jared being Jared without telling me etc etc...)

And then there are people who understand and love Sam. We relate. His trauma is palpable and we see it and feel it and can't ignore it, like a lot of fans of this show seem to do.

But there's an extra nuance - and I'm gonna be extra patronising here - it's called understanding the dynamics of the game. Acting is a game of tennis. It's a call and response, a dance. J2 talk about it ALL THE TIME.

Dynamics. J2's chemistry, their brotherly relationship on and off screen and love for each other cannot be denied. But also, thanks to these TWO SKILLED ACTORS, Sam and Dean are a beautifully crafted comedy duo. The clip from "LARP and the Real Girl", where Sam suggests belladonna, and Dean and Charlie say "The pornstar?!" - that scene? There is a beat. Of perfect length.

And Sam says, "...the poison." It is a great example of masterful acting/comedy dynamics. People who clip/gif this scene after "The pornstar?!" and miss the next line absolutely suck. The reaction from Jared/Sam is what absolutely MAKES this moment as great as it is. It is absolutely, perfectly perfect, straight-man comic timing. He masters it, every time, every episode.

Then there's all the other things he does to bring the Sam I love to full, dynamic, dimensional life. Let me count the ways.

Just the other day I watched a clip of 20-year-old Jared giving an interview with the rest of the cast of "House of Wax". He talked about the lighting, the angles; he mentioned all sorts of things. Bashful, rosy-cheeked and so earnest, full of awe and respect for the art of filmmaking, even when his fellow young cast members were either jibing each other, or silently lounging, sunglasses on, like rockstars.

He's a beautiful actor because he cares so much about how a story is told.

He's a beautiful actor and one who deserves to be celebrated.

https://youtu.be/toiE_Q5S290

[misterxsamsa]

Part One

Will write more if you want!

Okay so this is what I’m thinking: JV has used Johnny as a way to vent/tell his truths and gaslit everyone into thinking it wasn’t about him.

There are many things similar between the two: the way they look/dress (90’s mall goth), the haircut, being a cinephile, his viewpoints on humanity, his personality, etc. What I’ve gathered from posts on the internet about people who’ve met him in the 90’s, he was considered to be toxic. Which considering he was still in his teenage years/early adulthood it’s understandable. He literally looks like Johnny!

On the Johnny Twitter account, there are SO many tweets that are just JV venting or talking about things he likes. Short haired girls, talking about women all being insane (which he’s done on livestreams), his views on people, even down to just random bullshit like eating snacks and avoiding sleeping. All of those tweets are just JV. Johnny is a puppet for him to speak and vent through. And you might be going, “well, he HAS to come up with things for Johnny to say”…so why make him completely similar to himself? Surely a creative mind could come up with more.

Think about it, many panels are totally just artwork based on real life with a modification here and there. For example, Johnny laughing at a sitcom/not killing himself because he has something to watch to distract him. If that isn’t JV I don’t know what is. And if you’ve ever been there when he had literal breakdowns on stream, you’d know 1.) he used media as a distraction, clearly and 2.) he’s suicidal. Even though everyone brushes it off as a joke.

There are so many interviews and things JV has said himself that would indicate he: has a sleep disorder/is afraid of sleep, he doesn’t understand people (which Johnny doesn’t either) arrogance and hypocrisy, among other things that also indicate paranoid ideation. Which…I can’t even blame him because some of his fans are…interesting. Seriously, he fathered that whole “zomg I’m so random xD” school of thought. Disorganized thinking but make it funny and marketable I guess.

There are even interviews and I think one of them is on YouTube where an interviewer called it a joke and he looked SO pissed. If JTHM TRULY wasn’t about him, or a joke…why would he selling get angry if an interviewer said it was?

Even observing him in his livestreams, you can totally pinpoint things that make you go “Johnny would totally say that”, and “this is a symptom of [insert mental illness here], and the breakdowns everyone has already witnessed. Now, people brush it off as “everything he does is a joke”, but do you REALLY think that’s the case?

The thing about JV is that he’s the ultimate hipster: he clearly doesn’t care about being understood and wants to be seen as completely original and “too good” for things everyone else likes. He has amazing tastes sure, but *many* people do whether they like the same things or not. Hence why he also has stated he can’t stand being copied before. (Forgot where I saw that on the internet, sorry.) This is why he also hates when anyone relates to his work…because it no longer becomes personal or special. Not even because people read JTHM wrong/think it’s edgy humor/is a phase to them. And think about it…why would you care if people only use your work to LARP if you’re getting paid and it’s just a joke to you anyway? Why would you WANT them to actually get it…if it isn’t something that’s clearly important to you?

Mostly, JTHM is FULL of intrusive thoughts. Most people have them, but to an artist that gives them ideas for their artwork.

This is just SOME stuff I have written but let me know if you want more.

Anon, I will be thinking about this forever.

For my own Jhonen-esque reasons I'm allergic to getting too personal on my blogs typically, but I'm making an exception here because of the work put into this...

I've been JTHM since my formative years, and it's always been a big inspiration towards my art, writing, and interests. You can tie a good 75% of my interests back to JTHM, or the things referenced within it somehow. I've also struggled with a fuckload of mental illness since forever. So, for the longest time, I've accidentally looked towards Jhonen Vasquez as this weird litmus test standard for normalcy? He made my struggles look artistic and interesting, instead of just lame and debilitating. All while being a SEEMINGLY normal-passing dude, despite clearly having some issues. It's been hard, you know, kinda grappling with the fact that I'll probably never be able to maintain that level of presentation and seeming stability. See, I'm not a livestream kinda guy, so my exposure to him is all panels and interviews. So! Imagine my reaction upon you telling me that this guy, at fifty something, is apparently a complete dork who has suicidal breakdowns on livestream! I'm finally free!

Everybody I look up to is just as lame as I am, and I never have to worry about this ever again! ANYWAYS, ONTO THE ACTUAL ASK! I'm pulling a Jhonen and officially declaring everything I just said as an elaborate exercise in brilliant irony!

Yeah, you're right about all of this and you should say it. I've always seen Johnny as being Jhonen's borderline self-insert slash power fantasy. It's done so obviously, that his continous attempts to deny it just make it seem more obvious. Though, I'll say that before reading this I thought Johnny was perhaps a more exagerrated depiction of his personality, but maybe not as much so as I originally thought? In regards to him being perceived as rude in the 90s, I've never been able to pinpoint if he was as callous as everybody said, or just unaccustomed to interacting with people who looked up to him so much. When MCR was on its last leg as a band, I know people used to really tear into Gerard Way on forums for not having his usual energy, when he was just depressed, lol. It's probably a mix of both.

I'd love to see more of what you've written. Please never be shy about sending large essays! I love them, and that's why I write them, and subject everyone on Tumblr to my longwinded opinions.

[littleeyesofpallas]

Ya know, a ways back someone had asked me if I had any takes on Yoruichi's tattoo --I forget in which ask, but there was a bigger question that I wound up answering and I sort of forgot about the tattoo part entirely. But at the time, I really didn't have anything to say about it anyhow, but I don't think Kubo had released that art of the original Gotei at the time. So as it happens there are some odd little adjacencies now, although not especially strong ones... but I figure I can squeeze a post out of it.

So originally Kubo did a little color spread of all the Bleach girls in swimwear at the beach, and that in turn got adapted into a dumb little filler thing in the anime based off some other omake. It's also shows up in Bleach Brave Souls.

(weirdly a different swimsuit specialadds a different, unrealted, tattoo on her right thigh??)

But in the body of the manga itself, she's never actually shown with it. In most cases we don't get a 100% irrefutably clear view, but there are plenty of moments where her left upper thigh is definitely visible enough that if the tattoo was canon it should have been visible. The most obvious contradiction being her first appearance in her human form on account of, you know... her being entirely naked for that...

Now, one of the most immediate evocations of the sun tattoo would seem to be Ichigo's "Black Sun" motif --although it seems like a "tribal" style tattoo, which would be solid black anyway, making it hard to really assume it's a deliberately associated color-- which is itself actually kind of weird because it started entirely meta textually as part of the pair of databooks, SOULs and VIBEs: the former being the manga databook, and the latter being the accompanying anime databook, together featuring the phrase

"the rain drags black sun down, but the rain dried by white moon".

But this actually conflicts with the manga's use of a black moon motif for Ichigo, and doesn't really appear in the text at all. In fact the only real association Ichigo has with the black sun in the story proper might be the tangential association with Yhwach calling him, "my son born in the dark" when Yhwach himself is associated with the sun and light, and his own mirroring of the black flame(?) motif.

Otherwise the only loose link between Ichigo and the phrase "black sun" is that zangetsu's crossguard in bankai is a manji/swastika --a symbol used in Japanese Buddhism, via Chinese Buddhism, via Indian Buddhism, but originally taken from Indian hinduism where it was itself a sign of the sun god Surya-- and the SchwarzeSonne:"Black Sun" rune was a part of Himmler's stupid esoteric LARPing horseshit he did in the N*zi party, where he just mashed up the swastika, Nordic runes(𐌔), the alchemical sol niger:"black sun", and the Arthurian round table concepts so he could have that dumb mosaic built into the floor of the Wewelsburg castle he had requisitioned.

Sorry i got off topic... point being: the BlackSun was kind of like a leveled up swastika as far as n*zi symbols go, so it kind of follows that Ichigo's devloping powers imply a black sun as the next step past swastika.

But like I said, that's a super loose correlation within the text itself. Rather, the black sun in Bleach actually seems to be a weird recycling of something Kubo did in Zombie Powder: The black getsuga tenshou's black flame motif being a kind of throwback to the black flames of Akutabi Gamma's Karinzanjutsu, and the Ka-rin[火輪]: "Fire Ring/Wheel" having a symbol representing the sun, thus the sword style's black flames making its symbol a black sun.

So what's the point in bringing all this back up if what we're asking about is Yoruichi? Well, Yoruichi may not have had any sort of identifiable sun motif herself, but her ancestor, Chika, does. His name can read as "1000 Sun", although in the context of Yoruichi and Yuushirou's names both having words for "night" in them, it makes sense that Chika's name should actually be read, "1,000 Days", or very possibly "1000th Day" since Yoruichi's name is clearly meant to be read as "1st Night" considering her birthday is January 1st.*

*Her overall gimmick is a reference to hatsuyume[初夢], a tradition/idea that your first dream of the newyear --taking into accounts that you stay up until midnight on new years, your first dream is on Jan 1-- is supposed to have some prophetic qualities. (Incidentally, Urahara's birthday is December 31st, and given his partnership with Yoruichi could imply he's meant to be associated with the Omisoka holiday? but I'm not getting into that here.)

Anyway... all that just to say that her sun tattoo isn't really canon but if it were, it might have something to do with her ancestor, Chika. Although given that their family crest features a moon and they have a night theme to naming, I'd assume Chika's name is meant to be kind of an outlier rather than directly reflective of any family themes.

I dunno, I guess that's not really much of anything actually, since the whole black sun tangent doesn't even link back around... I guess the only thematic link is that in rather literal terms a "black sun" might be most readily envisioned as an eclipse, which in both the Shihouin and Ichigo's cases would be a way of aligning the moon and sun motifs.

(Technically I guess Isshin's relationship with Masaki is a kind of eclipse, as its the overlap of her sun/center of the universe iconography with Isshin's own moon motif via engetsu, but honestly Isshin was never actually moon themed and his shikai just felt like a lazy tack on detail that Kubo gave no real thought or consideration to beyond it being a derivative of what Ichigo already had going on.)

[davekat-sucks]

Just for fun how screwed is this session?

Here's some info:

Thief of Breath: Eledon Jungle-sovereign -Is too aggressive for a warrior race to handle -loves to blow shit up -the bard is his best friend and weapons dealer -the witch is his rival and maybe love interest -hates authority

Knight of Light: Human -She loves DnD, especially playing orc barbarian -a hard worker, bad grades -cherful most of the time -hates her father, misses her mom -lives with older sister

Maid of Void: Purpel-blood Troll -bad at showing his friendship good at reading people -a greedy purple asshole -a nice suit and tie, and a poker face to boot -a pretty successful owner of a gambling restaurant -has a hate crush on the prince

Rogue of Hope: Human -she's aesthetic as fuck, plays soccer, baseball and swimming -steals hope for victory for her team -really bullheaded, but nice -she's basically a tomboy -loves to annoy her twin brother

Bard of Space: Eledon Tech-head -he's a mad scientist and engineer -loves to make weapons of small and mass destruction -is fascinated by extinct empires, specifically their tech -strives to be the prime lord of science -one of his creations blew up a district

Prince of Rage: Burgundy-blood Troll -extreme anger issue -extreme telepathic powers -she hates the maid -everyone can go fuck themselves except that other chick… or the mage… and the bartender -lives with and works for the maid -is part of a band with the chick and bartender

Witch of Mind: Eledon Sky-baron -she's a hard-ass -has the high ambition to become the new ruler of her species -a model Eledon prodigy -has a big ego -actually likes the thief, seer and bard

Mage of Heart: Unknown-blood Troll -she likes larping, roleplay and meditation -hates and fears HIC -wishes to meet her friends in real life -tries to help her friends emotional problems -is unsure of her future

Seer of Blood: Eledon Swamp-blood -a rebellious pacifist and spiritualist -physically very strong -is calm and kind, but still has the Eledon natural aggression -hates his species and himself -can't let go

Heir of Time: Human -he acts cool but is a dumbass -likes every type of music -had a crush on the sylph, this was not reciprocated -wants to become a famous DJ -plays DnD with the sylph, knight and rogue every sunday

Page of Doom: Jade-blood Troll -hates himself and is depressed -likes to spelunking -the maids ex -the mage really tries to help him -the BUFF jade girl has to drag him out of his hive every day

Sylph of Life: Human -a genuinely nice guy -rich as hell and just as lonely -has a green thumb -the butler and his wife are more of his parents than his mom and dad -is very naive

I think you got some good players with some of those classes and aspects. Though it may change if the internal struggle gets any worse. May need to keep an eye on the Prince of Rage. Bard of Space and Heir of Time working together is also something to watch over too if the Heir's silly ideas may fuel the Bard's interest for the sake of science. Can't let the Maid of Void or Knight of Light be far either.

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

Changes made to Crowfeather so far:

Deadfoot passed when he was a baby, and he feels a tad of pressure on himself. No one has put this on him.

He has a very strong bond with his mother Ashfoot, sister Downpaw, and brother Hillpaw. Eaglefoot, his older brother, was a bit busy with his own apprentice, but still obviously family.

Losing Downpaw and Eaglefoot to sickness from a poisoned rabbit is what finally makes him listen to Starclan, because he does not want other cats to feel that pain. He does it for the future of Windclan, for his grieving Clanmates.

He had a rivalry with Nightpaw (Nightcloud). She had a habit of outshining him in battle training. His jaw hit the floor when he learned she had been given her name early (and as an Honour Title no less!)

He has a "friendship" with Cranberrypaw. He likes his personal space. She also likes his personal space. He doesn't hate her, but she's so cheerful and bouncy that she is a bit tiring to watch. He is very happy she makes friends with Squirrelpaw.

He does not have a romantic bond with Feathertail. She is much more like a big sister. She cares heavily about the younger cats on the Journey, which now has more apprentices (Crowpaw, Cranberrypaw, Smokepaw, Squirrelpaw, Leafpaw and Shrewpaw).

Traveling with Leafpaw let them build a real bond, and he truly loved her. No more Leafpool hanging off a cliff larping as Feathertail. He is also a HUGE Fire Law supporter.

"The Code is old, and restricting, if the Code is meant to keep cats from LOVING one another.... Then it needs to change."

He faced off against his radicalized brother, Hillfang, during the Battle of Mudclaw. He kills his own brother. Hillfang's body rolls down the hill and his Blood begins to trickle towards the Lake.

He and Leafpool discussed names for kits. It's were they got Lionkit and Jaykit from. He always wanted a big family, and this is a huge trait of his, especially since he loses so many.

He was so prepared to go to Thunderclan to be with Leafpool, but he saw Onewhisker struggling with Mudclaw's Coup and knew he needed to once again think of the future of his own Clan. I cannot stress enough: He Does Not Want To Be In Windclan Anymore.

He and Nightcloud were BOTH in hot water after the Battle of Mudclaw. Girl is a Kitty War Criminal. She killed a guy by somewhat accident (meant to hurt him, did not mean to slit his throat. Don't think "oopsie" is gonna get you off the hook on a murder charge.) and ALL of Windclan is watching them.

"If we start a family, look like we're settling. Maybe we'll be forgiven. They still see both of us as young and irresponsible, we can win back their trust."

When Leafpool told him she was pregnant, he once again tried to leave Windclan, but she was so overwhelmed with emotion (thanks unborn Jaykit) that she ran off. He also realized that with Windclan's changing political atmosphere, if he left now, war would most likely break out. Onestar was cracking under the weight of leadership and the cats of Windclan were demanding that Thunderclan get away from them.

He only trains Heathertail officially. He gives less official training to Featherpelt when Nightcloud goes missing, but Featherpaw goes straight back to her old mentor after.

He does NOT disown the three. He actually really loves them. His relationship with Breezepelt is... strained.

He loves him. He wants to love him. But he doesn't want to be with Nightcloud. He never wanted to be with Nightcloud. Being together was a mistake on both their parts and they were better as just casual rivals when they could easily walk away from each other. He hates that he made that choice and wishes to undo it. But.... does that mean Breezepelt shouldn't exist? What about Smokekit and Dusk-kit? He wants to be close with his son, but his son a living wildfire, and he already never wanted to have kits with Nightcloud, and he still hates being in Windclan... It's hard to think about.

It's complicated. It's frustrating. He doesn't deal with it well, and neither does Breezepelt. They butt heads more than a couple of rams and it doesn't help that Breezepelt is so damn intelligent, light years ahead of "head in the clouds Crowfeather". Their personalities just don't click, and it takes The Great Battle for him to realize how isolated it made Breezepelt feel. Foresight is not this guy's specialty.

He and Nightcloud do agree on one thing though. They love that Whitetail was Breezepaw's mentor. She helped satisfy his need to test and try everything and LEARN things, and had a sarcasm level that matched little Breezey P.

A Broken Crow's Nest is one third Crowfeather's story (the other thirds obviously being Nightcloud and Breezepelt). Crowfeather's ending is that he... Leaves. He finally leaves Windclan behind and congratulates Breezepelt on being made deputy, saying sorry for being a stubborn fart of a father, and he is glad Nightcloud is such a wonderful mom.

He also tells Pickletail a lot of things Breezepelt likes and dislikes, and that Pickletail will be a better father to him than Crowfeather was, and a MUCH better mate flr Nightcloud. (Breezepelt LOVES Pickletail.)

He leaves for Thunderclan, where he finally relaxes for the first time since he ran away so long ago. He gains a lot of weight (Fat Crowfeather SWEEP), and discovers a joy in Camp Keeping and some bird hunting. He connects with his other kits, and gets the chance to mentor... Baypaw!

He is subjected to HEAVY discrimination during TBC, Baypaw is taken from him and given to another cat more loyal to Bramblestar.

"You are a Code Breaker, Lostfeather. And I'm sure Starclan doesn't need a cat like you corrupting the minds of youths."

He joins the rebellion and highly supports Hollyleaf trying to get lives from Starclan.

He is NOT a Light In The Mist. That honour goes to Breezepelt and Leaftail.

In Windclan, he was considered UGLY. Guy was a 1/10. Nightcloud is a 10. No one understood what she "saw in him" and wondered what he must have done to get her attention. In Thunderclan, now that he is fat and more well groomed, he is a more 4 or 5.

As of River, he is now chilling with Leafpool, waiting patiently with her for her other mate Mothwing (Bi Poly Leafpool SWEEP) to cross the border into Thunderclan. It sure is taking a while. Hope Frostpaw's training comes along nicely so she can leave. She's been more high strung lately, more nervous...

[dailyspnpolls]

Let's pit two random episodes against each other...

5x17 99 Problems:

8x11 LARP And The Real Girl:

Describe the best part of the episode you chose in the tags and replies!

Check out the other polls here. There's a new one every day!

[electriczayre]

Since there doesn't seem to be anything written for your Omori AU, how do all the other ex-Headspaceians differ from canon?

first of all i want to genuinely thank you for expressing interest in my silly little swap AU hehe ^^ this is giving me a great excuse to think about ISOLI again and make a few silly little things for it!!

I had some tidbits about ISOLI's main party that I made when I first started developing the AU, I just never officially posted any information I guess... This will be long so I'll put everything under the cut!

The most obvious change from a glance is the character's names and designs. Sweetheart and Spaceboy (who don't have any human counterpart and are instead based on fictional characters within Sunny's world) are now regular humans within the real world, and within headspace as part of Isoli's party. Sweetheart's name has been changed to Stephanie, and (Captain) Spaceboy's to Charlie! The Unbread Twins and Mikal already have Faraway Town counterparts, so those are used for them. Biscuit becomes Bowen, and Mikal becomes Michael. Doughie's name stays as Doughie because of a personal headcanon of them being nonbinary, so in the AU Doughie uses they/them pronouns, and they changed their name to Doughie as part of transitioning ^^

I talked about what Stephanie is like already, so I'll move onto Charlie

Firstly, Charlie is a trans boy! He's always hated being a girl, but doesn't feel comfortable talking much about it with his parents. He's asked his friends to treat him like a boy and of course they happily did so. Charlie loves anything and everything to do with outer space, and often talks about wanting to grow up to study and explore space. He's very intense with his emotions, but his friends help him manage them. He cares a lot about everything, which can be stressful! He may also have a small crush on Stephanie, but she doesn't reciprocate those feelings. They still have a friendly relationship, though, even if they don't always see eye-to-eye!

After Bowen's death and the 4 year time skip, Charlie's found new friends to help distract him from all the Pain And Suffering. Instead of the hooligans, we have human versions of some of OMORI's space pirates! I haven't developed this much yet, but the plan is that they LARP being an evil Space Pirate crew while causing trouble around town. Charlie hides his emotions behind his fiery anger now, but it wouldn't take much to make him crack and start to cry... Stephanie doesn't really understand why Charlie's decided to be so mean all the time now, and Charlie doesn't understand how Stephanie just seemingly moved on from everything that happened so quickly.

Doughie, Bowen, Michael, and Sunny are all family - though Sunny is adopted, while the other 3 are blood related.

Doughie always wanted to pursue a medical degree growing up, but felt somewhat pressured to go into the family bread business (quite literally the opposite of Hero in OMORI!). They're a bit silly, but always seem a bit melancholy even when supposedly happy or content. They've also designated themself as the responsible one of the group, making sure that everyone stays out of trouble. After Bowen - their twin brother - died, they were extremely emotionally distraught, and abandoned their dream of becoming a doctor in order to fill the shoes of the next up in line for the bread business.

The death of Bowen also split the family apart due to stress, with the parents becoming estranged but choosing to still work together for the sake of the business. The dad lives with Doughie and Michael, while the mom took Sunny and moved into an available house in Faraway. The parents get the space they need, while also being close enough to keep the business running. This was also supposed to keep the siblings in contact, but then Sunny isolated for 4 years...

Bowen doesn't have too much information (besides being dead). He planned to go into the bread business because he genuinely loved it, and he's more of a gentle sweet soft guy type than in canon where he's sorta just a Wet Napkin in Headspace and a parrot to Daphne in Faraway. His siblings loved him, Charlie loved him, Stephanie loved him.

Which leads us to Michael... Oh, Michael. He's much more of a nervous wreck in this AU than in canon. He saw Sunny accidentally kill Bowen, recognized it as an accident, and panicked because he didn't want his brother and best friend to get in big trouble. So he helped Sunny cover it up. He feels sad and a little betrayed that his parents split apart and Sunny chose to isolate himself with his mom instead of everyone working it all out as a family. But he can't be mad, not when he feels this is all his fault. He doesn't wear a wig, but he does bleach his hair blond. In headspace, he's probably a bit of a rambunctious kid.

[indierpgnewsletter]

New Games From December 23 and January 24

I. Dear Reader Another regularly scheduled roundup of games that have been released on itch.io that caught my eye over the last two months. Usual disclaimer that I haven’t really read or played these games; they just seem cool based on the pitch alone. Also, most of them now come to me by people using this form.

Protect the Child: A Forged in the Dark game about monsters caring for a strange, mystical child. Playtest version. (Mintrabbit, Free)

Aftermath: A solo-friendly sci-fi about a team of first responders trying to make the world a better place after a terrible war. (Ember and Ash)

Space Aces: Voyages in Infinite Space: A comedy scifi sandbox inspired by the Hitchhikers’ Guide. (Stephen Hans)

The Connection Machine: A cerebral scifi game about exploring a dreamlike world and overcoming trauma. (Tanya Floaker & Julia Nevalainen)

Daybreak on the Battlefield: An unofficial set of extra playbooks for Girl by Moonlight, the excellent magical girls game. (Ben K Rosenbloom)

Buried in Ice: A mystery for Apocalypse Keys, the Hellboy-inspired PbtA game. Something trapped in a glacier thaws out and causes havoc. (Morgan Eilish)

Boyfriend Dungeon: Life on the Edge: The videogame gets officially adapted into a PbtA game. Explore your inner psyche, confront you fears, and also smooch swords. (Trumoi)

Like Real People Do: A two-player prompt-driven game about a mage trying to keep secrets in a vault but the vault wants to be a real person. (Meghan Cross)

The Mystery Business: Scooby Doo-inspired mystery solving game with no combat. You beat the baddies by setting traps to catch them. (Greg L)

The Flood Bell Tolls in Saint Magnus: A system-neutral campaign set in a drowning city on the verge of rebellion. (Tempest RPG, PWYW)

Also, cheeky last minute addition, the Showcase Zero bundle features games that came out of my playtest community. It’s got my scifi horror game, This Ship Is No Mother, as well as the mecha game of friendship and war, Spectres of Brocken and more.

II. Media of the Week

People Make Games take a good look at jubensha, a gaming phenomenon in China that started out just as spiffy murder mystery party games but has transformed into much more, including what sounds like scripted larps where everyone cries at the end. Really cool story.

The new season of DiceExploder is back with John Harper talking about Psi*Run, a unique game by Meguey Baker that should’ve inspired a slew of games but inexplicably didn’t.

Please consider joining 100+ other patrons and support the newsletter on patreon to help keep me going.

If you’ve released a new game on itch.io this month, let me know through this form so I can potentially include it in the end of the month round-up.

III. Links of the Week

Reviews

Indie Game Reading Club reviews Stonetop, the community-focused iron age fantasy game from Jeremy Strandberg.

It’s a solid review and also features this neat bit of analysis about how PbtA developed: “Monsterhearts spawned the branch of PbtA games that are concerned with constrained, evocative moves with a strong editorial voice. Dungeon World, conceived as a reverse-engineering of Dungeons & Dragons style play, is concerned with efficiently resolving tasks, boiling down the activity to its core essence.”

Cannibal Halfling reviews Free League’s vanilla-ish fantasy game, Dragonbane: “…when we live in the world of Old-School Essentials (also a translation, though from Gygax to English instead of Swedish to English), there’s clearly recognized value in taking an old system, cleaning it up, and sending it back out.”

Explore Beneath and Beyond has a blog series reviewing and discussing all the early adventures and scenarios published for D&D. This is part one.

Possum Creek Games publish their 2023 year in review including completing the mammoth Yazeba’s Bed and Breakfast.

DIY & Dragons explains why we should all probably stick to calling it “Jaquaysing”.

A short post about the oldest ttrpg forums – usenet groups.

Misc

ZineMonth 2024 is around the corner and since the “official” site isn’t ready yet, there’s an unofficial” page listing all the projects being crowdfunded. Take a look and submit your own if you’re doing one.

There’s a game jam to create a megadungeon in honour of Jennell Jaquays.

From the archive

Skerples’ cool blog post about how to portray aliens and alien intelligences in your game, approaching it from a bunch of different angles. (Issue #8, Sep 2020)

[checkoutmybookshelf]

The One That Takes Place on an Adult Film Set

So if Grave Peril was where we really got to know the Red Court and really dig into one type of vampire, this is where we get the rest of the vampires. This book is a weird amalgamation of Harry breaking an entropy curse on a porn set and Harry LARP-ing the fast few chapters of Dracula. There is just so much weird mirroring in this book too, everything from Harry learning about the real nature of his relationship to Thomas, which mirrors Lara and Inari's relationship to Harry's "porn stars are people too" stance that gets really contradicted by the fact that the only non-Ex-Mrs.-Genosa casualty is the single mother of two who keeps a roof over their heads and food on the table by starring in porn films. Like...For all Harry's protestations of open-mindedness, the entire *premise* of the adult film chunks of this book are "we are punishing porn stars for being porn stars." So let's talk Blood Rites.

This is your SPOILER WARNING and also your CONTENT WARNING for discussions of sex, pornography, and mental assault.

There are three main thrusts to this book (pun sort of intended, but I feel bad about it). There's Harry's Family Stuff and the White Court, there is the Black Court, and there is Arturo Genosa and the adult film. Let's take those in reverse order, because that just feels easiest.

The thing that pulls Harry into this book is Thomas Wraith showing up and asking Harry to help a buddy of his who is cursed. Arturo Genosa apparently really likes sticking his dick in crazy, because he has three ex-wives who have banded together after finding out that he's planning to marry again, but the new bride does not have to sign the same prenup they did, which will screw them out of their shares of Genosa's estate when he dies. Unfortunately, because fax machines are not great, the name of the new bride is smudged to hell and back, so rather than trying to decipher it and target just one person, the ex-wife brigade adopts a spray-and-pray method (double entendre also intended, and I feel less bad about this one). So they basically curse the studio and every woman around Genosa is in the firing line, which is what Harry has been hired to stop.

This gets WEIRDLY slapstick at times, since someone tries to take Harry out with a blowgun, and a frozen turkey quite literally falls from the sky. What is decidedly not slapstick is the sheer level of catty woman-on-woman violence, pettiness, and vitriol. Like, yes, this bullying and violence dynamic exists and deserves page time, but the point is WILDLY undercut when you drop the whole conflict into a highly sexually charged environment and trip into classic horror tropes like the final girl, the brides of Dracula (which is absolutely the vibe in the Wraith Deeps), and punishing sex workers for sex work. You've just basically undercut any other point you're trying to make, because you haven't subverted jack shit and you are so buried in tropes and heteronormative sex that any sense beyond "women are literal monsters" gets completely eclipsed. Like, I'm genuinely shocked that Butcher didn't somehow work a vagina dentata or a sarlacc joke into this book.

Now, running in the background of Harry and the Porn Film is Mavra, a Black Court vampire who is full-on coming for Harry and working to rebuild her court. Harry decides that the best course of action here is to go old school: Find the nest and burn it out before the baby vamps can hurt anyone else. Which, frankly? I support. The Black Court can and should get wiped off the face of the earth. And for the most part, this section is just fun to read. Harry, Murphy, and Kincaid--with Ebenezer McCoy as their wheelman--track the scourge of vampires to their lair in a homeless shelter and proceed to wreck shop on them. Harry even manages to get a group of captured kids out of there in one piece. Well, the kids are in one piece. Harry gets his hand dry-roasted because his shields aren't designed for thermal regulation. That's going to be extremely relevant in terms of lore and character building for the next few books, until Butcher basically forgets about it. But in general, it's a kickass quest and is largely successful.

My only real beef with this scene is the five or so minutes where Murphy is traversing a set of lasers wired to claymore mines and Kincaid has to take her pants off to buy her a quarter inch of space. Which like, is fair enough in practical terms, but Kincaid, Harry, and the book itself sexualize this in a way that is just absolutely gross and unnecessary, and I'm pretty sure it was 100% just so that Harry could smirk about Murphy gunfighting in panties with a little bow on them. Which made me want to take his staff and clock him across the jaw. Multiple times. This was not required, and it just keeps adding to the pattern of sexualizing women in deadly situations...holy crap, did we accidentally wander into a Joss Whedon project?

This scene does set up Murphy and Kincaid's relationship though, which will be relevant for like...maybe one other book? So fine. It also highlights that Kincaid and the White Council DO NOT get along, since he and McCoy draw on each other on sight and Harry almost doesn't manage to talk them down. So we do get some interesting insight into who the White Council does and does not approve of.

I suppose I have to stop stalling now, and actually address the White Court and the Family Stuff.

For any of this book to make sense, we need to know a little bit of history. Mostly that Lord Wraith, Thomas, Lara, and Inari's father, had just the biggest boner for Harry's mother, Margaret Le Fay. Margaret spent a lot of time in the White Court, gave birth to Thomas, and then peaced out. On her way out the door though, she cursed Lord Wraith so that his hunger--the demon that makes him a White Court vampire--couldn't feed. So he hasn't been able to feed since before Harry was born, is dangerously weak--but somehow still strong enough to be STRONGLY implied to be grooming and assaulting his children--and is losing power internally. So yes, Daddy Wraith is a piece of utter garbage, and when we start the book, Inari and Lara are both working for Genosa. Thomas is trying to spare Inari from ever becoming a White Court vampire, while Lara is actively yeeting her AT HARRY to try to awaken her hunger. This is just a bad situation all around.

That said though, this is the book where Harry starts to really gather family--blood family--around him, because in addition to leaving a curse for Lord Wraith, Margaret left mental messages for both her sons that they unlock in this book, so they would know who and what they are to each other in case she wasn't there to connect them.

And as much as I hate to admit feels for anything in this book, the messages she left and the emotional rollercoaster of discovering that you HAVE a brother and that you actually LIKE that brother gave me feels. Harry and Thomas desperately need each other, and now they have each other, and they can trust each other. That's huge for both of them. They both have to play that information very close to the chest, but THEY know, and that's kind of the important thing.

That also makes the end of this book, in the Wraith Deeps, even more complicated because family plus politics is never NOT messy. Lara full-on stages a coup to take control of the White Court, thanks to Harry outing Lord Wraith's curse and utter disregard for any of his children to her. The way it shakes out though, is with Lara in charge, Inari free, and Thomas living with Harry because Lara banished his ass.

Again though, we have Murphy being mentally and physically assaulted in the Deeps, and no, Butcher, him being "the lord of the freaking nation of sexual predators" (p. 330) does not go any distance to excusing or defending it. Like...Perhaps we could STAHP assaulting women everywhere? For five minutes?

Overall, I think this is one of the more forgettable early Dresden Files books, and it falls into horror and vampire tropes way too easily, even when Harry himself is trying to insist that he's open-minded or chivalrous. Clearing out the Black Court hideout was fun, and Harry and Thomas knowing about each other was lovely, but honestly the rest of this book is SO WEIRD about sex and consent and lust that it really did out me off.

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT MOUSE!!! Mouse is the goodest boi, and the best thing to come out of the book. He is a Foo Dog who adopts Harry, and that's basically it in this book, but keep an eye out, because Mouse is the BEST.

[humanaaa]

ok i'll ask. what DID vriska do

Just to start I am part of the “Vriska did some things wrongs because I don't wanna erase these cool part of her <3 and she was pretty cool doing all that”

Anyways so there's this dude right. Tavros Nitram. He and Vriska were larping one day, and she pushed him down a cliff. He became paraplegic because of that. And she always made fun of him because of that

Then bacause of that some things happen, she loses an arm, she mind controls tavros so he can mind control some animals so one of their friends get blind, and this somehow leads to a guy killing his kinda (alien romance) girlfriend (who was the one who made her lose an arm). The girl become a cool ghost later 👍

Then she forced Tavros to kiss her, and to try to kill her (so she could become a kinda god) then when he tried to fight her she killed him (and pushed him off a cliff)

She lured some kids to her house so she could feed her guardian (who is a...giant hungry spider)

The self insert of the comic did try to marry her once, but that's on him so

Vriska dies F pay your respects. But then this was reconned and now we have alive vriska and ghost Vriska.

Ghost Vriska fused with Ghost Tavros and they exploded bc of that. But they were kinda fine (although still ghosts)

Aaaand that's all I remember

She's also one of the coolest shades of blue ever I love that color 🙏

Anyways Vriska is very cool and very not real 👍 she did many wrongs and many rights and she looked really cool as she did all that