#late entry because im always late lol

[corvidcall]

Hewwo! I have been watching your interest in MTG and also a few of the like content creators I watch have ALSO gotten into MTG lately and its all gotten me like 'wrow that looks pretty fun actually' but i am a dumbass with the brain of a prey animal and idk where to even begin to look to try to get into it and also mtg spaces scare me. But Corv my buddy Corv!!! I thought maybe you may have some tips and tricks and directions to point me in perhaps???

yes hello!!!!!!! magic is a lot of fun, and for me personally, going to go play it at my local game store has been the only thing thats actually gotten me to leave the house and talk to strangers lol.

if you want to learn to play the game, i would recommend trying Arena!! (its also on Steam if youd rather download it) its free to download, and though it has microtransactions and a sort of battle pass, i have found it really easy to not spend real money on it. anyway its got a nice tutorial, and ive always found the starter decks they give you are really solid. (also you can add me on Arena! im corvidcall#67657)

you can also check out if there's a game store near you, because i know the one near me has a "learn to play" night once a week

if you want to get into The Lore, each set has their own storyline that is depicted on the cards, and also in the webfiction on their website! The current story arc started in 2023, with the Wilds of Eldraine set. i also really enjoy Spice8rack's video summing up the entire storyline until Wilds of Elrdraine started

the way i got into it was i downloaded arena and played it a lot, and then looked at the wiki entries for the characters whose cards i used all the time. or thought looked cool lol. now i have a whole room in my apartment dedicated to it.

[mouthsfullofsharpteeth]

im a little but fucked up rn but. thoughts on flockguardian x sheep x wolf dynamic (thinking specifically about bram but chip in whatever you want)

hi anon <3 ill be so real i cannot mentally or emotionally handle bram as a singular because the sheer fact that alex is being purposefully excluded makes me want to curl up in the fetal position at the bottom of a hole and live there for the rest of eternity <3

however! i do really love this dynamic, and youre so right that it does totally fit those three's characters. i'd argue that brian and alex could be really interchangeable for the wolf role, but tim and jay definitely fall in line with flock-guardian and sheep LOL, especially in the entry where tim stands up to the operator after jay conks out.

ive been watching a lot of tik toks as of late from these farms where they have livestock and the guardian dogs and the herding dogs, so theyll have their sheep, the anatolian shepherd to protect, and usually a border collie to herd. theres also one specific account i follow called raventree ranch where they ALSO have this farm cat that helps train the new dogs by showing them whos boss and teaching them to be gentler and stuff. and so if youre picking up what im putting down: sheep- jay flock guardian- tim wolf or alternatively herding dog- brian wolf or alternatively farm cat- alex

thanks for the ask, i really hadnt considered this dynamic set up before but i actually really love it lol. picturing jay with little sheep ears and the cute little tails, two dog-ish boys, and fuckin. cat alex kralie. always coming in clutch for the catlex nation

[1eos]

my thing about yosuke is because of his various transgressions I barely like him but I just find him weirdly compelling? Idk I think he's kinda realistic, he's always reminded me of those guys in high school who could be pretty likeable sometimes but sucked soooo bad. He's very teenage boy in that way. Also feel free to bitch about the atlus ake/shu propaganda I love hearing your takes you're always so correct and wise 🤭

THAT'S REALLY ITTTTT. he's so fascinating and ive built such a rich character study of him in my head and my ideas are amazing so i think i like him then i go back to the source material and every time im like 'goddamn yosuke SUCKSSSS' but i can't really hate him lol the magician characters are always annoying but charming boys who are early in their de-bastardification process 😭😭😭 as for akesh* I HOPE EVERYONE THAT LIKES THEM GOES TO HELLLLLLLLLLL. i have written so many dissertations on how persona 5 having the silent hill 2 problem and trying to copy details from the best entry in the series (persona 4) is the source of all their problems but i'll say it again! atlus wanted to have another adachi/souji moment so bad but make them the same age so they could have ethical yaoi but it just did not work. if they wanted that they SHOULDVE made makoto a boy and ooooooooooooooooooo the yaoi wouldve written itself. like its so crazy the wrote a worthy rival in makoto who was actively out to get u in the beginning where u could see her but the narrative wanted to suddenly swap it up and be like 'look at akechi' BITCH ITS TOO LATE. especially bc it was already done better with adachi like you cannot do that twist again it was too good! there was build up! i havent talked abt it much but the way persona 5 is set up with it being an interrogation that purposefully hides a bunch of stuff from the audience was really good to get you into the game but made other things less impactful SUCH AS AKECHI. which is a shame bc the set piece of the casino was amazing but as a character and as a narrative foil akechi fell short hes truly just an ugly low rent version of naoto and adachi mixed together w a predictable sob story back story like boooooooo booooooooooooooooo you'll never be the persona 3 betrayal!

[feminisedlad]

How might one get into "reading for a living" because that's a dream job

it is not a dream job, its called publishing and i make less than 40k a year LOL.

to be less arch, im an editor, and i work in editorial which is the 'flashy' department (lmao), but it's a pretty stressful job. obviously it's one i enjoy because no one would stay in the industry unless they got some reward for it. but still. i say 'reading books' is my job but thats probably only like 40% of it. a lot of my day to day work involves nagging people for deadlines, having meetings abt whether XYZ feature will cost extra, researching marketing trends, etc. YMMV if you work as a book designer or some other dept, i know they have different rules. this isnt to bitch but i think publishing has REALLY good PR among english majors and these are things i wish someone had told me before i sunk money into a publishing degree. BTW: dont get a publishing degree. experience > MA in publishing

so like, i cant in good conscience recommend the industry -- its sort of like going to grad school except with worse pay (the phd candidate gets a stipend; the unpaid intern does not.) but if you already have prion disease and you want to go into publishing, heres what i got

publishing advice below:

first things first, you need book experience. you can get this through the obvious ways (working on ur college lit mag, unpaid internships, copyediting freelance work) but i feel like that prob goes without saying. so what ill say is: if none of those options work, you could always work at a bookstore. lots of the editors i work with actually got their start by saying in the interview, "i worked at barnes and noble and noticed that [category] sells well. i love noticing which books resonate with people" or what have you

i will say that i work in nonfiction publishing, which has some differences from like, editing queer YA fiction. one of those jobs is more competitive than the other. and the industry standards are pretty toxic (if your author misses his deadline and sends the manuscript at 6pm, tough shit, you have to work late to make sure the book doesn't miss its pub date. if you're not thinking about all your books constantly, you must not really care. etc.)

that said one of the best things i can recommend is looking into publishing jobs in different departments. most people are competing for editorial department jobs (things like acquiring and signing books, and being the main point of contact for an author.) but if your passion mostly lies in editing or making things pristine, managing editorial departments often hire production editors who still read through all the books, but their day to day work is more like proofreading, checking barcodes, and other printing related tasks.

theres also finance. finance publishing jobs are never anyones first choice, but on the plus side, you wont have to tell the author why his advance is late. thats the acquiring editor's job. and also lots of people pivot to editorial after they have some years doing finance, design, production, etc.

i will say there are way more remote publishing jobs now than ever. theyre all super competitive but you should apply anyway. if youre entry level, look for "editorial assistant" type roles. some of these actually pay really well: to give an example, harvard hires copyeditors and editorial assistants at a rate which is more than my yearly salary. i mean, its harvard. you gotta look around. but there are more options besides the big 5 publishers. academic publishing is its own field! work at your favorite journal/database! work at JSTOR or wiley!

i dont think theres anything else i would add, other than just random shit talking abt industry standards and quirks of the industry. i dont want to sound whiny because i realize im lucky to be working in my field -- but, i think people oversell publishing as one of "the only career options for english majors."

to be totally honest, most people could make double or triple my salary from being a project manager or corporate editor. so if you enjoy reading and editing, there are better options to you than trade publishing. if you enjoy the act of connecting with authors and making their vision a reality, you might enjoy publishing. or you might not. idk!

[mymegumi]

HAII im late but here’s my entry for the matchups thing 🥹🥹

name: logan ⭐️

preferred anime: jjk !!

preferred gender: you can roll the dice for me 🤓

fave thing abt the holidays: definitely the weather, if we’re talking abt christmas in the northern hemisphere i love when it gets cold bc im so used to living in tropical weathers n i love wearing sweaters when i go out, also im lowkey domestic as fuck so spending it w the ppl i love in my family is also nice 🥹

personality wise i come off pretty unserious 80% of the time but it’s all in jest, i truthfully struggle with expressing my raw emotions/thoughts out loud sometimes so im more of an action person (my love language is quality time which explains it pretty well, i basically am very much a “i dont know how to tell you i like being with you in a way that fully encompasses it so let me make up for that by dedicating all of my time to you”). also my aesthetics/interests and overall likes tend to lean more towards anything alt/niche and ‘nonconforming’ as i have this innate desire to be as unique as possible (yes i was an edgy not like other girls teenager and yes i regret it) but i draw inspiration from the world around me and i could never see myself without the people i hold dear to my heart :’) im also a huge nerd lol im a stem major specifically astrophysics and i like to think im pretty smart but just suck at explaining/teaching things to others so yeah. this is probably more than u even needed from me but i hope this works !! 😭

hi logan!!!! its soooo good to get to know u more and i hope u know that i am so excited to get to know ever MORE! but for this wintery match up today, i match you with:

GOJO SATORU !

listen, i think gojo lowkey loves that ur like shy w ur affection and is always teasing you abt it!! he tries to get u to say u love him n he’s always always trying to make u blush or get flustered!!! he thinks it’s such a treat when you finally, finally tell him you love him and will absolutely smother you in affection when you do! he says, yeah i’ll love you enough for the both of us, baby, don’t even worry. he also loves! loves that you’re smart and that he can talk to you about his jujutsu and even can explain the limits of it and the mechinations in a way that he can’t with ppl that don’t understand physics/calculus. he thinks it’s so nice to be able to have someone even remotely on the same level as him in terms of like,, his jujutsu!! and i think that he’d also appreciate how you were so much smarter than him in certain aspects. he also loves ur perspective on life and i can see y’all having vvv nice convos abt the world and how both of you see it!!! it’s just such a wholesome lil couple and ik that he’s ur fave but i truly think y’all would get along rlly well and have good convos. and he would be so teasing and pretend to be hurt when u say smth lowkey mean and make u give him kisses and apology!!!

RUNNER UPS: ⠀ ෆ none ⠀ ⠀ ⤿ tbh i lit cant think of anyone else that would be a ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ better match for you loge!!!

gojo laughs with his chest as you brush at your hair, eyes concentrated and brows furrowed as you try to get the melting snow out of your hair. his chest is light, full of joy and happiness at the ease of which he feels with you. “baby, why are you so grumpy? it’s just a little snow in your hair.”

“i know it’ll melt, but my hair was so cute tonight!” you grumble, hands clutching onto gojo’s as he attempts to tuck a stray piece behind your ear. “ugh, whatever. let’s just keep walking.”

“okay, princess.” he knows not to argue with you, because he’s smart and he loves you. “want to get a coffee at that cafe?”

“yes please.” you pout, tucking yourself as close to gojo as you can for warmth. putting an arm over your shoulder, he rests his head on your not-so-soggy hair. “i can pay.”

“don’t insult me like that.” he huffs, tugging on a piece of your hair gently. he loves to spoil you, and you just hate letting him have his way. too bad you were stuck with him now, though.

back to main masterlist

[anawrites3]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I got tagged by @zeroducks-2, thanks love 💕💕 Sorry it took me so long to answer -3-

How many works do you have on AO3? It's 44 (+1 unrevealed)! And 19 of that are DC fics

What’s your total A03 word count? 163,947 I need to post more on ao3, huh

What fandoms do you write for? Mostly DC rn, tho I have a few fics for COD

What are your top five fics by kudos? on this account all of those are bakudeku because I've been very deep in the fandom until last year lmao so I'm going to cheat a little :3 and list the ones from DC fandom to self-promote myself a little 😂

1. taking a break (alone, please) at 345! I'm really happy with that and quite surprised because it's the very first proper sladick fic I wrote! Dick gets hurt during a mission so Slade takes him somewhere to take care of the wound and maybe have a little fun while he's at that. The only problem is that Dick's comm gets turned on at some point.

2. unexpectedly beneficial at 289. This is surprise since it's a New Year fic and those, in my experience, never get that much kudso lmao It's also my second fic! Dick's stuck at Brucie's New Year Eve's party. Slade comes over to keep him company

3. bunny-shaped trouble at 230 kudos, the idea came from Claudia who sent me a prompt 💕 Dick gets turned into a bunny and takes the opportunity to annoy the hell out of Slade

4. persistence at 219! This was my entry for sladerobin week and for some reason I was very anxious so I'm glad its so high in the ranks Dick goes on an undercover mission, where he has to seduce the target. Slade isn't very happy about that.

5. conflict resolution at 217 kudos! It's the first part of the series and well, let's be honest, compared to the rest (that is posted here on tumblr now, im working on it to post it properly on ao3) it isn't very exciting but I still love it and I'm happy it's so high as well! King Slade Wilson offers the way to stop the war between Gotham and Defiance. He will stop the attacks if prince Richard becomes his royal consort.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I always do!! Sometimes it just takes me longer (like rn oops) but I always make sure to respond to comments and show people how much I appreciate them taking the moment to share their thoughts with me 💕💕

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? It's definitely keeping what's mine because Dick is having awful time in this one, to the point that I tagged it as hurt/no comfort because well, Dick is hurt and doesnt get any comfort. I mean, he kind of does? But it doesnt actually comfort him so yeah 😂

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I write a lot of fluff so this is actually a very difficult question lmao but I would say it's (not) willing to share which is a short domestic fluff. And Dick has a cat so that's very happy for me haha

Do you get hate on your fic? I do not, actually! And I'm a little surprised by it because sladick and batkids ships gets hated on a lot

Do you write smut? More and more lately

Do you write crossovers? Not really right now, no

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Thankfully no or at least I dont know about it lol

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic? Not yet but I think it would be really fun!

What‘s your all-time favourite ship? I have one of those for every fandom I'm in lmao and right now it's sladick

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Gosh, don't say that lmao! Buut *looks quickly through the list of my wips* probably the one I named "the middle of the night" which is like,,, undercover mision identity porn masquerade ball sladick story that Im very exciting about but for some reason I just keep moving it down on my list of wips sooo... yeah. Maybe cause masquerade balls need a lot of dance descriptions and I suck at that lmao

What’s your writing strengths? Writing dialogue! I like it a lot and I've been told I'm good at it :3

What’s your writing weaknesses? Actually sitting down to start writing 😂 and more complicated descriptions like fights or dances and stuff like that, I'm still working on it

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I like it a lot actually but not if there's too much of it - just a few sentences are enough or just a few words thrown here and there, and there needs to be translation somewhere in the fic, in the notes or something because people should know what the characters are saying but yeah, I like how it directly shows that someone is speaking in another language instead of writing "he cursed in russian" or other stuff like that

First fandom you wrote for? *hides my face into my hands* Strawberry Shortcake probably... from when I was still a babey...

Favourite fic you’ve ever written? sun and sunflower, a little brudick story about Bruce being smitten and a coward

Tagging time! @roipecheur @wingdingery @blackbeanbao @enak-s and anyone who'd like to do it as well!

[fefairys]

Its your blog, you can share what you want. But yeah, good job editing! Honestly, i totally understand, ive been in some traumatic situations like that too. But its a very "you gotta pick your battles" kind of scenario. Overall youre doing fine to me (if thats worth anything to you)

thank you, that is worth Something to me.. i also always appreciate hearing im not alone, that helps a LOT.

and yeah i know i CAN share what i want but i have been gaining a lot of followers lately and also with our webcomic having a lot more eyes on it than i expected, it feels like it is probably a good idea to cut down on the oversharing? lol idk. im kind of mixed about it. because personally i like basically just posting Diary Entries on tumblr because um. well. i like attention. but i keep seeing posts implying it is "stupid" or "a bad idea" to share that many details of ur life and trauma with thousands of followers and uh yeah that makes sense! lmao ^_^

[autisticempathydaemon]

the redacted matches are so cool, thank you for doing them!!

- i dont have a particular lyric for it but ive been really liking cherry wine by grentperez lately

- i dont really know my enneagram type, i think its a 5? not sure though only because i havent looked at it recently enough to know if its still accurate

- my go to way to fall asleep is to listen to redacted videos lol

- when i picked a new name for myself, i chose it because i liked the sound of it (and im pretty sure i subconsciously got it from a candle on my desk)

- my favorite redacted audio would probably be aarons morning audio where smartass is trying to keep him in bed, its very cute and he just sounds so happy

- i dont get the hype for caelum, i can appreciate that other people like him but he’s just never been it for me

- my go to thing to ramble about would absolutely be astrology

- my go to gas station combo would be one of those bottled starbucks drinks and chocolate covered pretzels

- a playlist ive been listening to a lot lately is a spotify generated one called “chill mix”

- i have a few guilty pleasure fantasy romance book series, theyre not very good but i always have a fun time reading them lol

Okay, but the fantasy romance thing is so funny- not funny because those books aren’t fun, we’re among friends here but because Vincent would lovingly, adoringly give you so much shit.

Literally, can you imagine how a charming little dickhead he’d be? He’s constantly insisting that shifters don’t actually have knots, that demons don’t orchestrate deals with the devil and certainly don’t seal them with a kiss. You’d come home, and he’s on the couch, not working, nose in one of your books, telling you that the position being he’s reading isn’t possible, supernatural creature or otherwise, but goddamn he’d be willing to try wink wink nudge nudge.

Also, after that last Vincent audio, the one with the fancy date, he could totally strike me as a chocolate-covered pretzel man. Vincent’s a prince, but he’s also just a dude, and I think he’d be more than happy sitting on that gas station curb, trying to throw snacks into your open mouth.

Song:

I need a man who'll take a chance/ On a love that burns hot enough to last/ So when the night falls/ My lonely heart calls/ Oh, I wanna dance with somebody

As the theoretical youngest of our vampires, Vincent is so literally a boy misplaced in time. I really, inexplicably love this song for him for that reason. Like, a cheesy eighties love ballad that he’d adore covered by a mid 00’s emo band? For some reason, I think he’d love that.

Runner-ups:

Vega, I actually like for you the same reason as Vincent. He would also be incredibly amused by your romance novels but in a much meaner yet still sexy way. Anton, I just think he loves an astrology babe; he adores listening to you talk about signs and constellations and houses even if he doesn’t believe any of it.

Note: I hope you enjoy it, anon 🧡 I actually finally listened to his spicy date audio today before I looked at your entry, so I think it was fate

Want a match-up of your own? Read this post, and tell me about yourself! 💌

[tenjiiku]

do u have any movie / song recs atm 🥰?? i wanna be inspired to write like you do... but not in that sense if ykwim haha!! i just really love the way you write !! so im looking for inspiration,, if thats okay with u ofc ☝️

Heyyy lol ofcc I love talking abt media I love! Tbh I do not watch a lot of movies but I do have a lot of book recs some of which have movie adaptations.

Movies/Books;

The Hunger Games series, Suzanne Collins. Katniss and Peeta invented love and romance. I can go on about these two forever, but I will simply mention the beach scene b/t them in Catching Fire. That changed me fundamentally, altered my brain chemistry permanently, etc etc. Also of course the critique on capitalism in a Western society and how despite the violence such a system can breed Love will ever and remain forever as long as hope prevails.

Strange Weather in Tokyo, Hiromi Kawakami. I love dialogue, and this story has so much of it. And also I adore stories of the mundane. The fact that the protagonist is a woman in her late 30s brings such a refreshing perspective on the woes and joys of life. I read this book last Fall when it was a particularly rough time for me and I was going through a lot of changes. This really grounded my feelings.

Norwegian Wood, Haruki Murakami. I know Murakami gets a lot of shit for how he writes female characters but I adore the female characters in this novel, particularly Naoko and Midori. I love how he describes their emotions through dialogue. It is so cut and dry at times it hits straight to my gut. The conclusion and resolution left me thinking for months.

Flowers for Algernon, Daniel Keyes. Until recently I just discovered this was a required reading in a lot of American schools, which was a surprise because I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and quite frankly most of my assigned readings in school were not as interesting. I really really really enjoyed learning more about the character of Charlie through diary entries. And how his style of writing changes as he goes through so many trials and tribulations to only end up back to where he started. Really a think piece for me.

Snow Country, Yasunari Kawabata. I absolutely adored the imagery in this novel. It also left me thinking for days, and I still cannot articulate myself properly to describe it. Wonderful read.

Bones and All, Camille DeAngelis. I hold Maren so near and dear to my heart. The idea of using cannibalism as an allegory for coming-of-age brings such a unique and powerful perspective to girlhood, something I had been searching for in so many novels but never quite received. Maren and Lee’s relationship is both sweet and tragic. The movie is also wonderful.

All About Lily Chou Chou. I first watched this movie when I was 14 or 15, which I should not have done lol. Its subject matters are so dark, and I feel so badly for all the female characters in this movie. The message it sends is so simple, but the cinematography is both beautiful and haunting.

Artists/Songs;

Ethel Cain. By far my number one inspo lol. I do not use Spotify regularly besides to create playlists but I feel like she would be my number one listened to. I adore her ep Inbred, particularly the songs Michelle Pfeiffer and Crush. They are such yearning songs, and describe how I love so so personally. Of course, Preacher’s Daughter is a masterpiece of an album. Strangers and Family Tree are my favourites

Mitski. I honestly do not know how to express how much of an influence she has been on everything I produce. I’ve raved about her so much. Puberty 2 will always, always, always be the soundtrack to my highschool life lol it is honestly concerning how much I was listening to her in year 9. Bury me at makeout creek will always inspire me to write romance. It just gets me into the mood to both drown and create.

Gracie Abrams. I love the simplicity of her lyrics, and some of my works are written honestly based on one lyric that I might find out stuck out to me for many of her things. I find her music so universal and open to interpretation, and I love that! I think that it leaves a lot of room to think, it can apply to so many people and touch so many topics. I particularly love songs from the deluxe version of her album Good Riddance (405, Two People, Unsteady) I listened to Two People writing the hanshin expressway lol.

Beabadoobee. I love Beatrice, I have been listening to her for so long. I love how she is so expressive with all of her songs and genres and lyrics. Honestly, I love her entire discography. Like I do not think I do not have a song of hers I skip.

Japanese Breakfast. I love Michelle. Her songs all feel like warm hugs! And also some of them want to make me dance! I listened to her so much taking the train home back from uni when I needed a pick me up lol.

[minnieposting]

talking about ocd, hyperfixations, and loving vocaloid

minnie journal entry style post again, except this ones SUPER long lol.

a few nights ago i had a Moment of Weakness . it mightve been a withdrawal thing but i was not at my best lol, i just became really upset out of nowhere?? i was listening to some teto synthv stuff and kinda just Reminiscing on my vocaloid days ... i find myself doing that pretty frequently lately but since im not rlly hyperfixating on anything rn, vocaloid pretty much becomes my default. but im getting ahead of myself.

i get weird about my hyperfixations. when one starts slipping away it used to be so genuinely painful like i felt it so physically i would get so depressed whenever i felt hyperfixations start to slowly fade. i was always like that, but it was different with vocaloid.

 i will never be able to really describe HOW much vocaloid means to me but its litreally part of my soul. its ME. like i was sitting here trying to do exactly what i said i couldnt and guess what, i couldnt really describe it. i was really REALLY hyperfixated on it for 8 whole years straight, elementary school up to when i was around 15?  thats when my ungodly uncharted 4 hyperfixation came eating my ass .... and i remember the only reason it stopped was bc i felt too guilty abt leaving vocaloid behind I KNOW U CANT CONTROL HYPERFIXATIONS BUT MINE LITREALLY JUST STOPPED. after a specififc day of intense guilt lmfao

but yeah. guilt. whenever i leave behind a hyperfixation, i just feel SO guilty, and i dont really know why. i always feel this need to “prove” to myself that i still love a character, they still make me as happy as they used to, and i feel weird and bad if im not getting into smth as obsessively or if im not “consuming it the correct way”. i feel like im not rlly explaining this thing well but ocd is just a nighhttttmare , it bleeds into everything and lately its been bleeding into my interests and my creativity x1000. and im just really sad about that because i feel like i wont ever be that same person again, bc im just too hyperaware BC of my ocd and i just find myself ruminating a lot. though this usually starts to become Active in my head when my hyperfixation is actually starting to go away ... lol. when im balls deep into smth i will be way too obsessed to be in my head like that!

but. all this just being context lol... i was listening to teto synthv stuff and just. i dont even remember what caused me to start getting so upset but i just started reminiscing and getting in my own head about all this. how i dont like vocaloid as much anymore and wondering if ill ever be as happy as i was back then. i hate being an adult bc being an adult means being more Aware and being aware means ocd bothering me and just. idk. I was thinking about everything. Typical rumination spiral. just started getting really sad and upset bc i was just stuck in my thoughts and thinking about how younger me would be disappointed in my current self

it didnt last very long at least, and i ended up listening to re:ng and pinnochiop. but the songs that i clicked actually ,,,,,, helped me so much. one of the songs i clicked was rainy snowdrop by re:ng, and i found myself resonating so deeply with the lyrics. like im actually a bit emotional rn typing bc i went to go look at the lyrics again and im listening to the song rn. it really picked me up and made me feel ok again. then because youre here by pinnochiop played. and just. FUCK BOTH OF THESE SONGS ARE JUST EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR IN THAT MOMENT. it reminded me that itll be okay. simple as that.

and. im only writing abt what happened a few nights ago because while i was playing future tone earlier, it just hit me. ive always been saying that vocaloid makes me feel like myself. but then i started thinking about what exactly that means. and im actually thinking about it now while i write. its like home to me. vocaloid is where ill always go to, where ill always be. i grew up with it. its never not been with me. and no matter where i end up, itll follow me and itll be okay. ocd likes to make me ruminate about the past present and future but one thing that i know for sure is that vocaloid will always be there for me. i see it in a way where its me and my kid self. and i value my inner child so much. which is a bit ironic to me, bc of the way i treat myself...

idk. vocaloid is just really grounding in general. whenever i spiral or need to be pulled back down to earth, its there, and itll always help. its just nice to have this forever thing that i love so much

[nardonotes]

24 sep '24

8:52pm

hello my mankeys... (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) i am so tired and my body is sore..... i didn't make an entry yesterday but i literally can't even rmbr what happened.. "( – ⌓ – ) like did i write one yesterday or no? me forgot huhuhu.. what did i even do yesterday bruh,, i can't rmbr. i got a bad case of ifuckingforgotinitis *facepalm* OH I RMBR! LOL i was 1. late for class and 2. had a 3hr long break in between and took a nap at home AND KNOCKED OUT!!!! I WOKE UP EXACTLY ON TIME FOR CLASS. it was like my body said BITCH WAKE UP U GOT CLASS......!! and then i RAN TO CLASS (which was literally pointless because i had done everything for that class on the weekend so i just sat there helping everyone. they need to pay me)

BUT ANYWAYS, enough of yesterday- let's talk about today! lord did i have fucking day!! (⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝) first of all, LATE FOR CLASS AGAIN. and i remember waking up like 20 minutes before class and emailing my prof like "i will be late" literally lied out of my fucking ass... hehe. and then i went back to sleep for a little bit then BOOM. it's been two hours and class is almost over -_-/ u know what? idgaf. i really don't gaf, it's not a national holiday. ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ) it's fine cause im not super behind in that class anyways. but yeah,, and then right after class- i took a train to the nearest city (45 mins train ride) to meet my friend, yall know the friend i talked about a few entries ago, TO TALK ABOUT TEA!!!! but then they invited like three of their friends.... awko taco moment. but it's ok cause they're cool and we still got to talk about the situation that occurred. i would've still wanted to just talk to them though. also i was supposed to stay till 6pm but they were talking about unrelated things for so long,, and i was so tired my head hurt- so i left 2 hrs early!!

( ´･･)ﾉ(._.`)

anyways, the second i got home i literally took a shower and did some work because FUCK!!!!!!! I AM SO FUCKING DRAINED AND MY BODY ALWAYS HURTS NOW AND I BEEN HAVING STOMACH ISSUES LIKE I WANNA SHIT ALL THE TIME BUT I HAVE NO APPETITE WHO VOODOOED ME??? the voodoo in question being my body not used to going out 5-6 days a week in a row. ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡

ok last thing before i end this, i redownloaded instagram for chismosa purposes (i have insane chismosa virus) and had to get in the gc.. but while i was in the dms i noticed this girl i had been talking to for literally like i think months ( i aired her when i started college sorry!) (ó﹏ò｡) had dmd me asking how i been 3 days ago. and i feel bad cause it's like damn... u want me this bad or u just bored? like should i just give her my number and start texting her again? BUT THEN IT WOULD BE A SITUATIONSHIP AND LIKE I LOWKEY DONT WANT THAT.... but she is pretty. also far away still (everyone is far from me) but she's also giving yellow fever oo- anyways,, the attention is nice. idk what to do. ૮ – ﻌ–ა

ANYWAYS I YAPPED TOO MUCH AGAIN! idgaf. goodnight to pretty girls only and me <33

song of the day; Nothing Else Matters by Little Mix !! ♪♫~

[zkareem]

FULL NAME zakariya kareem — NICKNAMES zak (most commonly used), ariya (preferred) — AGE thirty7 — GENDER cis man — PRONOUNS he/him — ORIENTATION bisexual — OCCUPATION cmo of bulletin broadcasting company — PLACE OF BIRTH london, england — EDUCATION mba from oxford

HEIGHT 5'9 — TATTOOS lower back tattoo from years ago... done on a dare lol — PIERCINGS had earlobes pierced, they have since closed — SCARS nothing major — STYLE ariya has to be the hottest person in the city at any given time. a little gothic. big fan of long coats and turtlenecks and expensive jewelry.

ALLERGIES peanuts — SLEEPING HABITS gets a perfect eight hours every night and even on the rare times he doesn't, he wakes up looking refreshed anyway. — EATING HABITS he loves to cook and prefers to eat homemade food rather than going out to eat — SOCIABILITY 7/10. he's extroverted but in the way that some cats are extroverted... — DRINKING / SMOKING / DRUGS yes / yes / yes

TRAITS confident, organized, hedonistic, egotistical, untrusting, jealous, superficial, short-sighted, resentful, passive, irresponsible, immature, insensitive, there's nothing good about him really but at least he's sexy.... — LIKES tea, one night stands, buying shiny new things, overdressing for any occasion, being better than others — DISLIKES phone calls, actually working, answering emails, showing up for meetings on time, talking to family — WEAKNESSES family..., pretty people, critical thinking, meetings that happen before noon (he's asleep...) — STRENGTHS talking his way out of tickets, ignoring family events like its an olympic sport, having money and looking good? — FEARS becoming his father — HABITS ending up in a stranger's bed, running hand through hair, squinting when he doesn't trust / believe someone, rolling eyes — HOBBIES nothing substantial

MOTHER nazia, deceased — FATHER saad, executive of apex biomedical — SIGNIFICANT OTHER none. let's hope it stays like that — SIBLING(S) amar kareem, was a director at apex, is currently in prison for insider trading — CHILDREN none — PET(S) white persian cat named princess

— BIOGRAPHY —

we're doing a quick and dirty tl;dr sorry im tired womp womp

saad kareem had 2 children with his late wife. she died when the youngest, zakariya, was five years old. until that age, ariya remembers saad to be kind and loving, but afterwards he was not-all-there. he threw himself into his work, went back for his phd in biomedical engineering, and quickly climbed the ranks into the c-suite of apex biomedical

ariya's older brother, amar, was always smarter, more talented, and overall more beloved by their father. ariya hypothesizes it's because amar is the splitting image of saad, while ariya sees more similarities to their mother. womp womp part two.

nothing ariya ever did really pleased saad, even when he did everything that amar did because then he was just 'jealous and copying his older brother' boooo... amar went to oxford, ariya went to oxford, amar got an mba, ariya got an mba.

amar went to jail for insider trading, ariya is sitting pretty in his corner office. haha!

we're skipping ahead too fast. long story short ariya refused to get help from his dad to get work and ends up finding his way into an internship and entry level job at comoedia and became very very close to some people in order to climb ranks there. he left after a couple years because he was offered a much better position at bulletin broadcasting, and very easily cut off his so called 'friends' at comoedia.

around the same time that zakariya got his position as cmo, amar was caught for insider trading at apex. ariya knows that he's taking the fall for their dad, who it most likely actually was, and is actually very bitter about that because like wtf how dare you do basically the ultimate sacrifice for the man that didn't raise them. anyway.

is zak happy with his current title? yes and no… he wants to prove something to his father but still isn't sure what. his dad is in the c-suite of a prolific biomedical company and has always touted zak's elder brother's success. mind you, said elder brother went to jail for insider trading but that's neither here nor there.

zak absolutely wants a promotion. he feels that, despite being cmo, that the title is somehow below him. is he doing anything to prove that he deserves a promotion? hell no. wants one, doesn't want to put in the work for it. he ended up at bulletin as a director of marketing through a combination of manipulation and nepotism and hasn't put in as much work into this job since getting into an executive level position.

he is absolutely proud of himself! look at where he is! executive member of a bulletin subsidiary! and look at his brother! rotting in white collar prison! zakariya wins again! good for him! (mind you, he is unbearably unhappy and unfulfilled. he has little to no real personal relationships, he doesn't care about his job as much as he should, his dad still won't look at him properly, but he doesn't do anything to change any of this.)

— CONNECTIONS —

soon...

[imnotreal-png]

:T -- Entri 3

Liking people is becoming a hassle tbh. I'm definitely part of the issue but not in the way you think.

Im not hung up on anyone or anything, i'm just broke. My style is nonexistent, my confidence has depleted,,,,nothings stable rn.

I canceled a date i had tomorrow. Super sweet guy, super attractive but idk if he's not for me or what because i was dreading it. So i texted him and told him the honest truth. Literally what i just told you basically.

im tired of not having an income. i only have so much stashed away specifically for clothes and i never have the chance to go shopping. I should probably go this wednesday

I keep eating fruits with nutella every chance i get. tbh i been eating a lot lately (aloooot of boiled eggs) and im happy abt it. hopefully this goes on for a while til i gain at least something.

my sex drive been high tho. pleasing myself as always. wish sex wasnt viewed the way it is.....sigh

muzik stuff been goin very smoothly. i have little panic moments where im like "omygosh i cant make anymore music, i've milked all the talent ive got, its so over" and then 3 weeks later on a random tuesday; i'll get locked into fl studio for 7-10 hours and come out w a whole new beat and song lol. i shud hate on myself less probably.

I have a few songs that still havent even been scheduled for release lol, maybe i shud relax a bit. im still waiting for good weather 2 record this mv with my friend 4 our song ahhhghghghgh hopefully it works out

i wonder if im going to stay in the city. like where will i be living in 10 years? i hope i'll be okay. i have no idea what im doing rn. i love what im studying and working for but ik deep down its mostly just so i can have a degree and stable outcome bc otherwise i'd continue being an entrepreneur somehow...maybe? idk im just talking shit rn. scared i guess.

trying to reject the idea that im "falling behind" on life bc it makes me feel super shitty even tho its technically true but no point in making myself feel overly miserable abt it.

i wish i was pretty like them

nite nite

[itsjustwhatyoumustdo]

cheer up entry 2: jobless monday by mitski

12/6/2023

im back like . a day later. its gonna be short im on the bus typing this and today i am sad because i lost a friendship and i didn’t even know it. and i feel very sad because i wanted to be a really good friend but i guess i didn’t live up to it. and i didnt really have a say in this friendship ending. i dont know.

whenever i am in a rwally bad state (worse than something to trigger me writing out when the pawn) i listen to jobless monday by mitski on repeat. it scares people when tbey see it on my spotify activity think. im doing it rn

genuinely i like this song and its been my favorite mitski song since 2016. its just a comfort song.

last time i did this i was having a bad day at work. i dont really wanna get into the other times but know it was even worse

gonna talk about why i like this song cuz im still processing bc what happened today unfortunately

i like the bassline a lot i think thats what struck me when i first listened, its sonically very similar to francis forever and first love late spring but theres something more sad about it? more hopeless? and i love a song that leads in with bass. so thats that

the instrumental bridge too :) i love the synth(?) not sure what instrument it is

“oh i miss when we first met / he didn’t know me yet” i like the rhyme i like the sentiment even though its very hopeless. i dont have a lot of words rn unfortunately

“as long as we’re out in the sun” ohhhh my favorite line like we need to be in the sun also something something “you’re the sun / you’ve never seen the night” from your best american girl. parallels.

this song will always be here for me and i will always be here for it! i will always talk abt how its my favorite mitski song..

gonna process everything tonight and hopefully it’ll be okay. i’ll be fine i just feel kinda cheated idk

my last fm activity to close this one out lol

[molly-m]

☆𝐄𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲 #𝟏☆

hello hello hello! my name is molly :) i am 16 years old and am currently living with my parents, brothers, and a whole bunch of animals !! i made this tumblr to hopefully interest people about my life and maybe entertain a bit haha. it is currently really late right now while i'm typing this but I'm listening to "Rich Girl" by Gwen Stefani. its a very empowering song ngl... but anyways, im currently writing down a workout + diet plan for this month since ive already lost over 20 pounds !! this is good since i was very unhealthy for my age, but now im right on track! im keeping my workout and diet healthy too just to make sure i don't overdo it haha. ive already finished my school homework, im doing exceptionally well this year! my grades have been mostly A's and B's. my biology grade this year was a C but i was able to bump it up to a B !! thankfully !!!! my relationships with my friends were really rocky at first too, but ive been able to meet a common ground among most of them, some that weren't important in my life did leave but the ones that needed to stay stayed. lol. this year has been very challenging, but ive been able to make myself become a better person. ive become nicer, ive gotten better sleep, better diet, better activeness, and ive been having a clearer mind. it has brought me lots of confidence and i seem to be very 'out there' if you get what i mean lol... my sleep schedule is a little messed up right now. i didnt have to go to school monday because of parent teacher conferences, and i do have school but its currently 12 and im still not asleep!!! im wanting to do alot of things but i should wait. tomorrow i have to stay after school a bit so some of my schedule will be messed up, but it is no big deal. ive been trying to find healthy alternatives to me changing and being a better person. it will take time so i can't rush things. i will be open and say i have anger issues, but i dont let it get in the way of things anymore. ive learned how to learn with it instead of through it. either way everyday i learn something new, and maybe. just maybe, this account can help me express it. ill try to do an entry of everyday, but its not something im always up for haha!! if you have stumbled upon this acc and read all this hi hello! give me a follow if youre interested and don't be afraid to strike up a convo :) anyways... for now i say.

Peace!!

-Molly

[celestialjupe]

Girlblogging: 1/6/23

Today was good! i got a late start, but earlier than other days this week, thankfully. I've been trying to fix my schedule and i think today might have done the trick! i woke up to a package from my bestie. who sent me a wall collage kit. I love love love it, every picture is so perfect and exactly the vibe i've been going for in this new era.

I had some coffee, it's a new kind and its pecan coffee. It's absolutely heavenly. Seriously, the beans smell like a pecan syrup and it's a beautiful medium roast. I always add two tablespoons of sugar, some milk, and a bit of vanilla syrup. Yes it is disgustingly sweet, but i love it. I have two friends that take their coffee black and it's so crazy to me, like, girl WHAT?!?! idk i guess I'm a more of a sugar fan than a coffee fan. so i had my coffee, my best friend and i facetimed for a little and it was a pretty fun start to the day.

Afterwards, i took a shower, did my skincare, and got ready. I took the train to a nearby college town, which was really nice. On the ride, i drafted a letter i was planning to write, but i decided against it because i don't think any good would come from sending it, for me or the other party. I live next to a lake, so i watched the waves and wow, water is so cool i love just sitting and staring at it, especially with a nice playlist. Fluidity is an art, and i think im really beginning to master it.

When i got to my destination, I went to this recycled bookstore that i've been frequenting since summer. I love this bookstore, i always find myself spending hours in there, almost in a trance. The workers are always so cool too. Great fashion, friendly and interactive people who seem to really like their job. I got two books about animation, one about learning animation, and another about the history of animation. I also got this novel called 'vegas sunrise' It's about this matriarch of a casino family, and she chooses one of her husbands children to run the casino, and apparently everything goes up in flames, im excited to actually read it and see what it's all about. Overall i spent almost two hours in the bookstore. I almost bought a book about insects, but while i was in line i decided to put it back, because after taking a more thorough look at the contents, i realized it wasn't what i was looking for. I was super interested in a couple of astronomy books, but i ended up passing on those as well cause most of the selection was a little too advanced for my current level of knowledge.

By the time i left the bookstore, it was pretty dark out. I know my way around the town pretty well by this point, but i did in fact, get lost this time lol. I found myself on the side of town where multiple car alarms were going off and obviously the only appropriate reaction to this sort of predicament is to listen to oblivion by grimes, duh. I did just about shit a brick though, because usually a lot of people walk around this town but at this time of night i found myself to be the only one, a little scary, but i persevered and found the train station. Sadly i was too late for the first train i was planning to take, so i was looking at a fifteen minute wait in the dark at the station. Miraculously, the next train was quite early, and i was very grateful for that. the ride back was very peaceful, there was only one other person on the train with me. An older man a few rows back, who slept soundly the whole time. It's pretty cute to see that sort of thing, and it fills me with a sense of gratitude to see people in that sort of comfort. Like, good for you dude! you deserve some rest, im sure of it.

I got back to my place, got in pajamas, washed my face, read one of the last chapters of valley of the dolls, and had a sandwich. I coated one slice of bread in mayo, the other with garlic hummus, i put mozzarella, lettuce, and salami on it too. A little thin, but still filling and delicious. Then i sat down to write a bit. After this entry im going to draw, maybe read a bit more, and try to go to bed at a decent time. Thank you for reading, if you did, i appreciate it! I hope you have a good night/day/afternoon, please eat, stay hydrated, sleep well and try your best to focus on what you love.