#leah birch

[reareaotaku]

Part 3 of Judd headcanons??????????????

More???????? Honestly I don't know what else to add tbh, so I kind of elaborated on her relationship with Leah & Nick too PT1, PT2

Leah is slowly getting annoyed with her brothers. She was cool with them liking you at first and even thought it was kind of cute, but now it's getting annoying. Sure, she sees why they like you, you're incredible, but that's the issue. You're incredible and you can do way better than anyone in her family. You deserve the best, and although she loves her brothers she knows they are anything but. Also they're taking up all your time that she once occupied

She has to get you back

^And now all of the Birch siblings are fighting for your attention

Leah's going to win almost every time though, because she's your best friend and was with you first

Nick and Judd still go at each others throat

If you're ever in trouble and need help, you can count on Judd to help you, even if he acts annoyed

You make him want to be a better person, which really angers him. You make him nicer, which people around him notice [Only his stupid father pointing it out]

Corruption Kink

He's obsessed with you and keeps a shrine

Judd acts like he's annoyed with your presence, but if you ever get up to leave he'll pull you back down with him

He just doesn't know how to tell you he loves you...

He'll let you sleep on his lap or his shoulder. He thinks it's kind of cute when you fall asleep on his shoulder. He likes to hear your breathing and he can even feel your heart beat echoing in his chest

Nick asks you for rides from school [Mainly because he doesn't want to ride with Judd], but he wants to spend more time with you. He's sad you see him as a little kid/Brother and wants to change your mind [He won't]

Whenever you hang out with Leah, it's usually away from her stupid brothers

^ If you were with her brothers, she makes sure to keep you preoccupied so they can't have a second of your time. Maybe she's selfish, but you're her friend not theirs

^ If Judd talks about asking you out, while Leah had once been on board, she no longer is, because then she won't have your attention like she used to. She had never thought that far ahead before, but now she's slowly seeing it happen before her eyes

Judd has taken you on raccoon dinners because he knows you think raccoons are cute

^ He plays up to your more affectionate side

^ Think of it as a manipulation tactic, but don't call him out on it

[melloween-candie]

An Endless Mission [J/Birch]

Judd Birch x Leah's BFF reader

Summary

Leah is your best friend and she knows your dirty little secret... she knows that- YOU HAVE A BIG FAT CRUSH ON HER OLDER BROTHER JUDD!

You've had this crush on him for years and for years she has made it her mission to get you two together!

A/n - Writing this just cause he was my favorite Character in the show lol. I don't know... He just gave off that kind of vibe where he's sweet but psycho. Anyways I feel like he deserves more love. 😘

Warning! *SPOILER SEASON 1 Cussing, alcohol, mentions of boobs, boob touching, slight drowning, degrading, depression, anxiety, slight physical abuse

Word Count: 6,067

⚠️NOT MY ART⚠️

Big Mouth Masterlist

Fandom Masterlist

/"Talking"//Thinking//Muttering-Whispering/

***Narrator's Pov***

"Leah! You said this was a pool party!?" You whined, trying to cover up your bikini body with your hands, but miserably failed. All your clothes were inside your bag, too, so you couldn't just grab them and change right then and there.

Though it would be a lie to say that you didn't want to try...

When you saw that familiar black hair with blue highlights, walk into the living room- You. Wanted. To. Die.

Right then and there... Your crush... Standing just a few feet away from you- just looking at you as if you were a maniac.

"Why are you in a bikini?" He asked. His voice was as deep as ever.

"Um... Uh..." You were dying out there. Your heart was beating, and your face was flushed red. You looked like you took a dip in a pool with all the sweat you were accumulating- meanwhile, your 'best friend' just stood there giggling.

You were so embarrassed...

"So, Judd- what do you think of Y/n's bikini she's going to wear tomorrow for the pool party?" She said with a teasing voice.

He stood there for a moment and then grunted. Giving you a slight nod, then left. His face never changed. He didn't even give you a little smirk...

"Wha- what's that supposed to mean?!" I said to Leah once he was fully gone.

She snorted. "You're hot. That's what it means." She giggles even more.

"Leah!!!" Your face turned an even brighter shade of red.

Back then, when you were a kid, most people never saw you. They never acknowledged you. You were practically invisible... Until you hit puberty. Nobody expected anything from you- in fact, you were a late bloomer. You were the last person in your class to get your period, and your boobs didn't start growing until the beginning of high school...

But look at you now. You were going into junior year with a hot body. Your hips grew in, and so did your boobs. You had what most girls wanted- an hourglass body. Silky smooth skin and a bubbly butt to top it off.

Though, because of how you were raised, you were always self-conscious. You made sure nothing showed, as hard as it was... You genuinely didn't like the attention. You were so used to the shadows, and quite frankly, you enjoyed it too.

Small Time Skip!~

"I can't believe you did this to me!!" You covered your face with your hands, feeling completely embarrassed.

"Oh, come on, Y/n! It wasn't that bad! You have the hottest body In. Our. Grade!! Use it~!" She said with a huge smile on her face. "I mean, I know it can feel like Judd doesn't have a di*k to get a boner sometimes, BUT if anyone CAN give him a boner, it's YOUUU!" She shook your shoulder lightly.

"God, seriously, Leah..." You uncovered your face to reveal a deep frown. "I love that you care, but I don't think I can survive another embarrassing moment like that..."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous-" Leah said, cutting you off. "You've survived all the other times!" She said as she started to braid your hair.

"For example, remember the first time we meant?!" Her smile grew even bigger.

"Oh god..." You muttered.

"We were in 6 grade meanwhile my brother was in 8th grade..."

"Please- end me." You muttered as Leah continues.

"It was the first time you came to my house. I was grabbing drinks, and I simply told you to go upstairs to the right... Where my room should be..."

"Please! STOP!" You covered your face one again out of pure embarrassment.

Leah giggled. "You ended up walking into my brother's room thinking it was mine-"

"You said to the right!" You interjected, trying to defend yourself.

"Well, I'm sorry, but I didn't know my rights and lefts at the time, and quite frankly, I still don't." She said, shrugging her shoulders as she continued. "But do you remember the face my brother made when he saw you there! Sitting on his bed...!" She started cackling.

"Oh, how can I forget." You said, rolling your eyes.

"H-his face- wa-was sooo red!!!" She laughed even more.

"Yeah, red with anger!"

Leah whipped a tear away- "No, silly. Red with embarrassment."

"Oh, please. He wasn't embarrassed- he yelled at me, Leah! That's not how normal people react when they're embarrassed."

"Oh, please. You should know by now- my brother isn't normal. Plus, he likes you!! How many times do I have to say it to convince you?!"

"Leah, stop! He has never once shown any positive sign-!"

Leah grabbed your shoulders, interrupting you completely. "How many times do I have to tell you?! My. Brother. Isn't. Normal!!!" She said shacking you.

"And besides, there ARE signs!" She said as she grabbed something from under her bed.

"Oh god... Not that again..." You said crunching up your face.

"Oh yes. It's this again!" Leah giggled, shoving the book in your face.

The title said-

Leah's Proof Book!!!

"I'm still so happy how I thought of this!"

This was a book that Leah made when she was little. It only took a few days of your friendship for her to realize you had a crush on her brother, Judd. This book contained-

The conversation, word for word, when you confessed to her the first time about having a crush on her brother.

Along with how you fell for him... When you first spoke to him- ON YOUR OWN! And along with all the times when Leah tried hooking you up with him.

To you- that book contained all the embarrassing fails you had with Judd; meanwhile, Leah saw the book as progress, Progress, PROGRESS~!

She REALLY wanted you and Judd to work out. She was literally your biggest ship fan ever. She just thought that it would be really cool to have you literally a part of her family. You are her best friend, after all, and even though her brother was scary and can come off as mean- she knows he would treat you right.

"What are you writing down now..." You said with a dreading undertone...

"Uhh, duh? That beautiful moment earlier when your body made Judd completely speechless~" She was completely overtaken by the giggles by this point... And all you did was lay flat on her bed sighing in defeat.

Time skip!~

"GIRLS DINNER TIME!"

"COMING!" Leah yelled.

"So, like I said earlier, Judd will be at the pool party." She said as she walked down the stairs with you.

"Right... Leah, I don't know- I don't think pretending to drown is a safe idea. Plus, you said it yourself: your brother is a bit- uhh, you know. I-I don't really want to die tomorrow." You said, rubbing your neck.

"Talking about Judd again, I, see?" Leah's dad Elliot said.

Oh, did I forget to mention- LEAH'S ENTIRE FAMILY KNOWS ABOUT YOUR CRUSH... and sadly, you weren't entirely sure if Judd knows. I mean, he is a very intuitive person. He practically knows everything, so you wouldn't be surprised if he knew about your long-time crush on him, and he simply chose to not say anything about it.

"Oh, stop it, Dad," Leah said. "No offense, but this is girl talk!" Leah grabbed your shoulders, pushing you away from her father.

"Yeah, Elliot. It's girl talk." Said Diana- Leah's mom. "Now, did you add any new entries to that book of your Leah? It's been a hot minute since..."

"Mom! How many times do I have to tell you! STOP SNEAKING IN MY ROOM-! And also- don't read my book! That's weird!" Leah yelled.

"What book?" Everything instantly froze when they heard that voice.

You stood there; your face turned completely red as you prayed it wasn't who you knew it was.

"You mean that dumb proof-book?" He said as he leaned on a counter, swinging a knife as he spoke.

"Y-you were in my room!" Leah stuttered. Her face was now red too- but not from embarrassment, no. But from anger.

"Relax butt-face. I didn't read your stupid book." He said as he shoved pass her.

As you just sighed in releaf.

Small Time Skip!~

***Leah's Pov***

Finally, it was dinner time! As I sat down, I gave Nick a little head nod, and he returned the gesture. Little did Y/n know this wasn't going to be an ordinary dinner...

A few minutes have passed, and not much was said...

"Uhh- Y/n, can you pass me the salt?"

"Uh, sure." She leaned in towards Judd's direction... That poor girl. I couldn't help but giggle a little. She may be sixteen, but she sure doesn't understand what I got her to do with that simple pled.

To put it into simple terms... I just got her to show her cleavage to my brother. I made sure to pay extra attention to his reaction, too. Most people would have missed it, especially since he was taking a sip of his drink, but I swear he smirked while looking at it.

"Um here." She said plainly, then went back to eating.

Step one of the dinner execution is complete. On to step too- touchy touch!

Knowing my brother- he can't resist spices, especially now! I made sure to get my mom to make his favorite. Every time she makes it, he'd always put hot sauce and a whole load of spices into it. I personally don't understand why. The meal is already spicey enough as it is...

I winked towards my dad- oh, did you think it was just me and Nick executing this? Oh, my dear, no... MY ENTIRE FAMILY is in this- my mom made the food, and now the rest is up to us three!

Once my dad saw Judd grab the spice shaker, he cleared his throat, waiting for the perfect time... And then BANG!

"Y/n deary, can you pass the spice shaker, please?" He smiled.

"Uhh, sure." She looked at Judd, who was still holding it. He meant her eyes, and she blushed. Then he gave our dad a glare as he passed the shaker to Y/n.

It was small, but It was still successful. Her index and middle finger touched his...

"Thank you, deary-"

"Okay, what's going on?" He said out of the blue.

"Oh my. But what do you mean, Juddy buddy?" Elliot smiled.

"You hate spices." He said plainly.

Crap...

"Oh... well... Hate is a strong word..." He said, trying to buy time to escalate the backup procedure.

I took a sip of my drink as I looked off to the corner. I placed my arm on the table and carefully angled my elbow towards Y/n's drink. Then I looked towards Nick; he, too, was drinking his cup.

And at the same time, we strike!

"Ughh! Hey!?" Y/n got up. Her drink spilled all over her white top... As Nick pretended to sneeze all over Judd. He got up, clearly pissed. He slammed Nick's head onto the table as a result, which gave my little brother a bloody nose..., and of course, my mother had to interject. Meanwhile, our father ran towards the bathroom with the excuse of-

"Ohh... Your right, Judd spices are NOT my friend." As he ran, he held his stomach to make it look more believable...

And with that, Nick pulled it off- he ran towards his 'so-called room.' When in reality, he ran towards Judd's room and locked it. Hopefully, he got out in time.

Meanwhile, Y/n walked towards our second and only bathroom that wasn't being used... Do you see the picture now?

I smirked evilly as they both walked away from the dining room.

Once they were gone, I saw something fall outside... OH MY GOD, it was Nick!

"I'm okay!" He said, then he fell back down. "Still- Oh-Kay... Huh..."

It seems that he did manage to escape in time. Good for him. I thought as I drank the rest of my drink.

And then... I heard it! A scream erupted from the upstairs bathroom. It sounded just like Y/n.

I quickly rushed along with my mother.

And there it was... Y/n had her shirt dangled in her arms... Her bra was pushed up a bit, so her boob fat poked out a little... She was on the ground- probably due to the shock of the door being opened on her. Meanwhile, my brother held the doorknob... He said nothing. His mouth was slightly gaped open...

Then, when he saw me and Mom, he made a tch sound, closed the door, and left with his usual grumpy self. Though I could have sworn I saw a blush on his face.

It was working... My plan was working... I was finally cracking him- I hid a smile as I tried to help my friend.

Time Skip!~

***Maurice's Pov***

"Holy shit, I can't believe that happened!" I was currently sitting on Judd's bed, feeling all tingly from the moment before. "You practically saw her nipples- No. WE practically saw her nipples!!"

"Shut it!" Judd says through gritted teeth as he continues to lift his weight bar once again.

"Ugghhh, but Judd! You have a fine hottie under your own house!!! She's going to be here for a whole night! Don't you at least want to fantasize about her?" I asked as I wiggled a sexy magazine in front of him.

All he replied with was a 'tch' as he continued lifting weights.

I sighed as I continued on with the next person on my list...

"Man, you're no fun..." I say as I got ready to leave. "Welp, wiggle your di*k if you need me." Then I left.

And all he said was "tch."

"In my opinion... I found that quite offensive. I mean, he didn't even say goodbye!" I said with the 'what's-wrong-with-this-kid' face. "It's like he's immune to horniness... wait, no- that's stupid, ha. I should write that down-"

Time Skip!~

***Leah's Pov***

"Okay, so I know dinner didn't go exactly as planned, but at least it ended well in the end," I said, trying to keep quiet.

It was currently midnight. Judd and Y/n were supposedly sleeping. Meanwhile, me and the rest of my family were holding a secret mission.

"So, mom. Do you still have that spare key to Judd's room?"

"Oh, sweety." She pulls out the keys. "I never leave home without it." She smiles.

"Great!" I whispered. "Now, Dad- are you ready?"

"Absolutely, sweety."

"Great! Let's get this show started!" I cheered lightly.

Small time skip!

I know you may think this is a little far fetch, but when I say they're meant to be, they are!!!

Okay! They don't really know it, but they actually have lots of things in common. Like Y/n loves horror movies, so does he. She absolutely loves raccoons... I don't know why, but that's her... Anyways, you get the idea.

Right now, me and my dad are currently carrying Y/n's sleeping body while my mom slowly opens Judd's door...

It was kind of scary, to be honest. No one ever really goes in here, so we didn't really know what to expect. All we did was pray he was asleep, and thankfully he was.

I know this might be wrong since it can go wrong sooo quickly, but like... There's a chance where he might not stab y/n the moment he wakes up... Right? Haha... Ha...

Anyways, we placed her under his sheets quietly. Thankfully, she's a deep sleeper... Now, all there was to do was head to bed and wait till morning!

Time Skip!

***Y/n's Pov***

I was rudely awakened by a hand covering my mouth. At first, I tried screaming but then froze when I realized I wasn't in Leah's room anymore... Dear God, no...

That's right... I was in Judd's bed... Wearing nothing but panties and a tank top... I looked up at him, and he had his fingers to his lips.

"H-how did I get here..." I stared the door down for dear life. I was too scared to face him.

"Leah and the others. They placed you here when you were sleeping. I saw it all happened."

"Uh...Oh." I looked down, completely embarrassed.

Judd just stood there looking at me... It was an awkward silence. I wasn't sure what to do. I kind of just sat there, completely frozen... Until he spoke.

"You can sleep there for the night."

I looked at him in shock. His facial structure stayed the same as always.

"I'm not sure what they're trying to do, but clearly, they really want you around me..."

There again... A moment of silence. I looked towards the ground. I couldn't help but feel ashamed for what I was wearing...

"I won't stop them." He muttered as he lifted up his window. I couldn't really hear that first part but then he said- "You can sleep here for the night. It's not like I ever use my bed anyways." Then he left through the window.

I quickly got up in fear that he might have hurt himself, but he was gone. He wasn't on the ground... He was nowhere to be found. I sighed, closing his window. Then I returned to his bed and cuddled up close to his blankets.

I know it was a little wrong, but I couldn't help but enjoy this... The blankets smelled exactly like him! And they were really warm too! His bed was so comfy that I fell asleep again quite quickly.

Time skip!~ MORNING!

***Leah's Pov***

When I saw Y/n and Judd walk downstairs towards the kitchen- where everyone was... I couldn't help but make the comment- "So, how did y'all sleep last night?" I looked directly at them both, trying to hide my growing smirk and giggles.

Before Y/n could say anything- Judd spat- "Wouldn't you like to know?" He smirked... He SMIRKED!

Does that actually mean... NO WAY...! Did my baby bird finally popped her cherry?!

I mentally screamed with joy. As Y/n groggily walked over. Her hair was a mess... She clearly had an 'intense' night. I laughed in my head.

I nudged her with my elbow... Teasing her, she just rolled her eyes as she took another sip of her coffee.

Time Skip!~

"Wait, what? You didn't actually lose your V-card?" I was somewhat disappointed as I slipped on my bikini bottoms. We had about thirty minutes left till the party started.

"You make it sound like a bad thing?"

"Well... It's just- you were in his room practically naked..."

She blushes. Hitting me playfully as I giggled. "Leah!" She whined.

I giggled harder- "Don't worry, Y/n. I promised he'll take your virginity at some point today!"

"LEAH!"

I laughed harder.

Small Time Skip!~

Not even thirty minutes into the party, the house was already packed... which would have been fine if my stupid brother, Nick, hadn't invited all his stupid friends. I rolled my eyes for what felt like the fifth time that night...

What's worse is that Judd still hasn't shown... God, this sucks. If he doesn't show up, then my ultimate bestie hook-up plan won't work. I sighed, taking a long sip of the wine Judd got for the party.

Small Time Skip!~

10 more minutes passed by, and I was still leaning against the wall... just waiting for him. Meanwhile, Y/n was just sitting by the edge of the pool... GOD, this would be THE PERFECT time for Me to EXECUTE my PLAN!! I whined.

And then- FINALLY! He shows up... He wasn't even in a swimsuit- which was slightly disappointing. I was kind of hoping to see my girly have that cute, embarrassing, stutter moment most movies make when they make situations similar to this.

But that's not the point... I'm just glad he showed up; otherwise, I would have had to get my other brother, Nick, to go and get one of his raccoons... There's a fifty percent chance they don't know how to swim, and knowing Judd, he'd kill anyone if it meant they'd live.

I walked towards Judd, who was currently drinking the last of his Jack... "Hey, so-" He smashed the glass bottle on the fool, making me jump. "Seriously?"

"Where's my fifty bucks?" He said with one hand whipping his lips while the other was extended towards me.

I rolled my eyes. "You'll get your fifty soon, but first-" I shoved him perfectly behind Y/n. Who didn't even know he was here- let alone coming...

He stumbled a little bit. "What the hell- Oof?!"

"Eek!"

'SPLASH!'

I know- he's going to kill me... BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT! When they both came to the surface- he was holding her as she was coughing. Her wet bangs covered her eyes, so she didn't even know... AHHHAHAHAH! I couldn't help but fangirl over the scene.

***Y/n's Pov***

I didn't even know what happened... One moment, I was sitting on the edge of the pool. My legs were dangling in the water, and I was just chilling- then the next thing I knew, something- or in this case, someone pushed me...

"Tch."

That was all I heard when I came to the surface. Something was holding me up... which was great cause I didn't really know how to swim. However, the sound of that voice sounded a little too familiar... which honestly terrified me.

I took a moment before brushing away my bangs... Then there he was- Judd Birch... his shirt was sticking to his skin, outlining the curves of his muscles... Oh god-

I looked towards Leah, clearly annoyed and very embarrassed. Meanwhile, Judd carried me to shore.

He seemed a little more adjugated than usual... He placed me down and walked directly towards Leah, who was slowly backing up. Then she started running, shrieking while doing so as he chased her. "LEAHHH! YOU FUCK FACE, GET BACK HERE!" He yelled, causing a crowd to start forming.

Then suddenly Leah ran towards me- before I could even react, she grabbed my shoulders and used me as a shield- "Hey!"

"Sorry, girly- But unlike me, he won't kill you!" She had her eyes closed tightly as if I would actually work as a descent shield... Her head was turned away, too-

I rolled my eyes, but then two seconds later, I felt something. I froze... Judd Birch... was touching my-my-my bo-bo-boobs! My face turned completely red as I just stared at him. His eyes were slightly bigger, and his face was a little flushed, but then he quickly composed himself- pulling his hands away.

People obviously took advantage of that entire scene... they took videos and pictures. God, I'm going to hate myself once I see how many views it'll get...

Leah finally loosened her grip on me. She opened her eyes and looked at her brother. "Umm... did I miss something?"

He just 'tched' and left. He was clearly blushing... I guess he, too, was capable of feeling embarrassment.

***Marice's Pov***

"WHAT WAS THAT! You had the opportunity to squeeze them, but you just let them go!"

I yelled as we both walked away from that fiasco. "Y/n was in your grasp, man! WASN'T THAT WHAT YOU DREAMED OF- what you wanted!" I whined.

I couldn't help but feel upset. It's like he was ignoring me... he barely jerks off- and now, when he likes someone, he does nothing! LETERALLY NOTHING!

***Judd's Pov***

"Shut the h*ll up, Mori. That was an accident." I said to that 'thing' that constantly follows me.

"Yeah! And besides- didn't you see her face! She was mortified!" Tito said. "Her face alone PROVED that she didn't like you!"

Great- that stupid mosquito's here now. I slammed my bedroom door shut.

"Oww- Don't feel bad, Judd. I'm sure she understands. It was an accident, after all. And don't believe a word that filthy mosquito says-" The stupid love bug grabbed my shoulder. "I'm sure she loves you too."

I felt the heat rise up to my cheeks. My grip on the edge of my bed tightened as I stared at nothing... I hate this.

My heart was pounding, and my chest tightened... Maybe that stupid mosquito was right-

***Y/n's Pov***

Leah finally released my shoulders. I just sat there on my knees.

"Soo~ How did it feel!" She smiled.

"Wha-" I scrunched my eyebrows, turning to face her. I was clearly lost...

"His hand, Y/n! His hand touched your boob!" She smiled, shacking me when she said that last sentence.

"Wait- did you plan this!" I said, clearly upset. "Leah! How many times do I have to tell you!" My eyes started watering as I got up.

"I didn't want your hel- uh... I-huh..." I rubbed my eyes, trying to wipe away the tears. I couldn't even look at her. "I-ha... I just-" I kept hiccupping, which irritated me.

"Y/n..."

I took a deep breath. "I just wished you left it alone! I wished you stopped putting me- in these embarrassing moments!" I cried out. "I'm not like you, Leah! I don't see everything like it's a movie!" I said, and then I ran off.

"Y/n wait-!" She yelled, trying to get up, but she lost me in the crowd.

God, I seriously hope that group of kids won't post that video of me crying... I already embarrassed myself enough today.

I was currently curled up on the bathroom floor. My tears stopped, but I didn't feel like moving. I just sat there... I didn't even bother whipping away the tear stains on my cheeks. I just quivered there pathetically.

"Oh, Y/n- it's okay." Connie said as she rubbed my back, clearly trying to comfort me.

"Okay- OKAY! That was a DISASTER! The ENTIRE GRADE saw Y/n CRY!" Tito yelled as they buzzed all around my head. Connie tried swatting it away but failed. "What's worse was that people were videoing her! No- wait! What if Judd sees that video! He's going to think we're a CRYBABY!!!" Tito multiplied even more.

"Oh, who CARES!" Yelled the hate worm. "Right now, we should be focusing on the one person who caused this he*l for us!"

"Oh, please!" Connie rolled her eyes. "Leah was only trying to help!"

Meanwhile, I just sat there. I held onto my knees as I hid my face.

"Shush now! All of you.~" Said the big fat cat... She wrapped around my body and purred. "Oh, Y/n. I told you to give up early on- it's a shame you didn't listen..." She continued to purr...

I didn't bother moving at all. I didn't say anything or do anything as they all rambled on.

"Oh dear..." Connie muttered.

***Leah's Pov***

Oh god- oh god! This is my fault! I got up as Y/n was completely out of my sight now... "WHAT THE HE*L ARE YOU ALL STILL DOING HERE!" I screamed out my frustration. After that, people started scrambling.

I quickly ran in the direction Y/n went. I tried looking for her everywhere, but I couldn't find her... and then I heard some muffling. It was coming from the end of the hallway- through that bathroom door.

I walked up to it slowly. "Y/n? Are you in there?" I knocked gently.

-No response-

"Okay- you don't have to respond. But if that's you in there- I. Am. So. Sorry." I said in a breathy tone. "I didn't mean for this to happen- I just..." I took a breath.

"Look. You were right. I should have just dropped it. I don't know what came over me... I'm. So. Sorry."

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on the door. "I'm sorry for being such a sh*ty friend... I just really wanted for you and my brother to end up together- and now that I'm saying it out loud, it sounds wrong."

I turned around and leaned my back against the door- slowly slipping down to the floor. "You don't have to forgive me right away... But I really. Really! Hope we can stay friends." My eyes started watering at that point. "I promise... I'll- I'll back off." I started struggling with my words as the tears started falling down my cheek.

Then suddenly, the door behind me opened, causing me to fall. I looked up to see Y/n. My heart aches to see her in that state. I got up on my fours and crawled my way towards her, cuddling her as she went back to her sitting position.

We sat like that for a while until someone interrupted us.

***Judd's Pov***

"Yo dipshits. Got out of the bathroom, I gotta take a piss-" I stopped talking the moment I realized it was my little sister and her best friend. They both looked like they were crying.

What a shi*ty day.

"The he*l's wrong?" I said with a softer tone- hey, don't look at me like that! I'm not a monster...

I kneeled down towards them. I pushed my sister's bangs out of her eyes. I looked towards her in hopes she would get the cue and start explaining. She just shook her head lightly, then closed her eyes again, tightening her grip on Y/n.

"Tch." I got up and left.

"What the he*l are you doing! Y/n clearly needs you right now!"

Great... That stupid love bug appeared... What better timing. I thought sarcastically. I tightened my fists as I 'walked' downstairs.

"Dame Judd, what's wrong with yo-" Before that mistake named 'Nick' could finish his sentence, I pushed his ugly face out of my way.

"Get out of my way, disabled fu*k."

He ended up stubbing down the stairs. I just laughed. I heard his whining through the first-floor bathroom walls- it made me feel a little better.

Then my stupid parents showed up.

"What- happened here?" My mom said.

"Ughhh." Nick couldn't even walk straight... He must have drank too much of that pink baby sh*t. Tch- reminds me of my first time when I got drunk... Oh- good times- good times.

I then walked upstairs towards my room. I figured thoughts two would be done sulking by now... But nope, they were still there. It... Kinda sucked.

I sighed. I walked towards them.

"Hey- get up," I demanded.

-no response-

I rolled my eyes, grabbing them both. My heart ached when I saw Y/n's face... "Look, you both can't stay in here forever..." A moment of silence passed as they both just stared at the ground.

"Tch. Come on."

Leah looked up at me. "Where are we going?"

"Someplace, where you shi*s would stop feeling so- shi*ty..."

***Leah's Pov***

I smiled a little... It was nice to know that my brother cared... But then I looked at Y/n... She didn't even react. I don't even think she heard what he said.

He just dragged us both to his car, but when we got to the front door, I stopped him.

He looked back at me as he still held Y/n's wrist.

I looked down. "I'm fine... If anything- you should take Y/n."

"Yeah, well-" He paused for a moment. "Isn't that kind of your job- yeah, now. As her best friend and sh*t?"

"Trust me... She'll feel better with you..." I rubbed my arm.

"Whatever." The he left with her.

***Mori's Pov***

"Alright, man! Maybe we can turn this day around by having a wicked night with Y/n, yeah!?" I said, trying to cheer my buddy up. "You could even pretend it's a date! Like you always wanted-"

"Tch."

I stopped. If you were his hormone monster for as long as I was... You'd understand what that meant.

Time skip!~

***Y/n's Pov***

I looked up to see that he stopped in front of an abandoned building... Not creepy at all...

"Get out of the car," Judd said.

I did as he said and got out. My head still hanging low.

"Ohh god- he's gonna leave you here..." Said Tito. "He's- he's- HE'S GONNA LEAVE YOU HEAR TO DIE!"

My eyes started watering at the thought.

"Hey." Judd pulled my chin up so I'd face him. "Quite crying." He said in a softer tone.

Then he grabbed me and started walking inside.

We went a little deeper into the building, climbing a few stairs and going under this hole... Then there it was.

It was an okay-sized room... There were pillows and blankets everywhere. There was a bowl of raccoon food on the side and a lot of pictures... They looked like they were hand-drawn. I smiled at the one with- what I think was a raccoon? Surprisingly enough, this room was quite colorful due to the hanging blankets- acting like a roof so the actual roof wouldn't drop nasty dirt at us. And the fairy light... I didn't think he was the type of guy to use fairy lights to light up a room... Candles, at least.

"Wha-" I whipped my eyes. "What is this place?" I asked.

Judd sat down on what I assumed was a mattress. He was touching the wall... It looked like it had a lot of stab marks on it. "It's where I go when I feel like sh*t." He said, then he got up to grab a bottle of Jack out of the mini-fridge. "Don't say anything to Leah or your friends. I don't need any of them knowing about this place." He said with a slightly more threatening voice.

I simply nodded as he sat back down on the mattress and he pushed his knees closer to his chest. He cocked his head to the side, indicating me to sit next to him- I did.

"Want some?" He offered in a calming tone. I just nodded. No thanks. I thought.

"Suit yourself." He said, swinging his drink around lightly then proceeding to take a sip. We sat there in silence like that for a few good minutes.

It wasn't even uncomfortable. Until he broke the silence.

"So." He said, swinging his drink around lightly once again. "Do you- like... Like me or something?"

My heart started pounding once again. I looked at him- he wasn't looking at me. He simply just took another sip...... More like- he drank it all in one gulp...

He whipped his mouth. "Well?" He asked, looking down at his now empty bottle of Jack.

"I- uh..." I stuttered. "I- um..." My face felt like it was on fire. I didn't know what to do. I was too scared to say anything.

He sighed. Then he turned around to stare at the beaten wall... "I like you... You know."

My eyes widened at what he just said... Could I be hearing things or something!?!? I mean... I must be right!?!?

My heart was pounding way faster now. Then he turned around a little too quick. I scoot back a little.

He looked at me- "Say something, dipsh*t!"

Oh right... Well, here goes- well, everything.

"I-" I took a moment and to inhale some air. "I like you too!" I said as I shut my eyes as tightly as I could...

-no response-

For a moment, I started to think that he might have left, but then, suddenly, I felt something warm touching my cheek... His hands. It felt like his hands... He was pulling my face, and when I opened my eyes- his face was so close! His eyes were closed, and he kept pulling. I completely froze as he, Judd Birch, KISSED ME ON. THE. LIPPPPSS!

My mind was going haywire! As my love bug was flying everywhere, giggling and smiling, glowing as bright as the sun.

I didn't even realize that Judd pulled away- "What's wrong?" He muttered.

Sh*t. I didn't even realize I wasn't kissing him back- "N-nothing."

"Don't lie-" He said, but I interrupted him by kissing him.

"Don't overthink it." I smiled slightly at him. "I feel better now. Thank you." I spoke as I hugged him, resting my head on his shoulder. He placed a hand around me- hugging me back.

A/n

Oops- I didn't mean to make it this long- lol 😅 Not going to lie though; it was really fun writing this. I might actually make more fanfics for him too... 🤔😊 Anyway, sorry if some of the characters were out of character- overall, I hope you guys enjoyed it!

[vanlegion]

Happy (Belated) Thanksgiving Everyone!

A little late for the East Coast, but still on Time for the West Coast! XD

Enjoy this insane Thanksgiving Family Dinner!

[rotteneldritchhorror]

Liiiiinnnnn @lin-is-typing liiiiinnnnnnnnn!

I’m watching the season finally

[vampirevatican]

judd's shirt, and how he smells...

he's gonna have a musk. like canon wise it'd be after sharpening his knives or like he's working out or something but he's got man musk

i like to think the birch household actually has good shampoo and skincare stuff, though i also am a firm believer that only elliot, leah and diane have an actual routine

judd? literally any soap, though nothing with a flowery scent?? like motherfucker smells like the woods. he's got an earthy smell to him. like i think he's the only one in the house that uses irish spring or like very plain ivory soap.

to the ppl that think he'd use a 13 in 1. i need you to stop. his hygiene routine is very simple but ima need some respect put on this man because how else is he gonna maintain that hairstyle? not to mention dude is definitely a go-getter.

anyway he just has... boy/man/male scent, ya know? like that common smell between all cologne and men's soap? yeah that.

so with that context... you've taken some of his shirts, for girlfriend reasons.

ya know like, when he's not around and you wanna pretend he's there. or you just don't feel good and wanna think about him comforting you... it's for emersion you swear!

----------------MDNI (nsfw below)-------------

yeah right you're getting off to that shit.

sure you could put it on a pillow and think about him being there

could cuddle with pillow judd or if you have a huge stuffed animal that works too

but ik why you clicked 'read more' and yeah i get it

jessie was onto something... and so was a manga i read...

just taking his shirt and keeping it for a bit? and you just take a big whiff... a deep sniff. oh yeah.

at some point his werid ass ziplocs his most sweaty shirts and keeps them just for you

doesn't point out why or explains, just points you to where he keeps them.

Looking in the drawer you find a couple of plain and graphic tees in rows. Lined up, side by side and in... ziploc bags? You look back at him and he looks at you, shirtless and dead lifting weights. "What." he sounds so nonchalant, neutral tone, same as always. "You're just gonna let me have them now?" He continues lifting and looking at a wall with a couple band posters on it. "Better than you being a klepto over my shit." He smirks slightly and looks back at you, "What? You don't want them, princess?" You squint, mainly at the pet name and was going to argue but just pouted and looked away grabbing the shirts and stuffing them into your overnight bag. "Yes." you mutter and he laughs.

[just-another-author-i-guess]

More Judd smut?

More Judd smut yay (,:

Tags: fem! Reader, porn with a little plot?, what the fuck is hormone monster dialogue, everyone is horny fr, Nick and Andrew are creeps, but also scared of Judd, and very curious, questionable babysitting?, smoking, participating in the act of “getting stoned”, smoking inside, use of the word simp un-ironically, Judd gives super useless dating advice, not so safe sex, please use protection! please do not read if you’re uncomfortable with smut(,:

Summary: you and Judd are the designated babysitters for the night.

Read my OG Judd story? Here

Author’s note: hi gang (,: I remember when I was like “mental illness funny haha” but it’s really not funny anymore 🥹 I know I disappear all the time,, and I don’t even wanna apologize this time lol. But anyways, this has been brewing in my docs for like MONTHS and now I’ve come back, humbly offering you another Judd smut since the other one is surprisingly popular. Eat well, my children

The one where Judd gives dating advice

4,4K words

(Note, Judd is so cute and I love him :,)

“I don’t care about those horny little shits, I’m just saying they’re old enough to fuck off and do whatever they want. I don’t want my pissstain of a brother hanging around you, your sister is also fucking weird—“ 

You gently elbowed him. “—You’re fucking weird, Judd. And the kids aren’t really that bad, you’re a bit dramatic, babe,” you said, and he angrily grumbled something in response as he slammed the microwave shut. The microwave made a noise, and you watched the third batch of popcorn slowly expand and start to pop. 

Unfortunately for Judd, your parents had collectively decided to go out the day you had promised him a date. Mr and Mrs Birch got a coupon for a recently opened Thai restaurant and decided to invite yours, Missy’s and Andrew’s parents out for dinner, making you the designated babysitter of the night. Leah had ditched the whole ordeal, and Judd was planning to ditch as well until you sent him a picture of your tits and told him he could still come over if he behaved. 

With Maury clouding his judgement, there was no fucking way he could say no to that. 

So now, he was stuck making popcorn for a bunch of middle schoolers. Not to mention he had a pretty bad track record with the kids, they were all absolutely terrified of him. Except of course Jessie, who was deeply in love with him. He grunted in annoyance, turning around to face you with his arms crossed over his chest. 

He had been muttering complaints under his breath ever since you started setting up for the movie. He was absolutely livid that the kids stole away his one-on-one private time with his girlfriend, but for you (and your boobs) he tried to somewhat restrain himself. 

“Judd, baby, look at me,” you stepped out in front of him, reaching up and gently rubbing his cheek, forcing his attention on you. “I know this is not ideal. But, if you play nice, I have a little something for you when the kids go to bed,” you purred, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

He grabbed your waist, kneading the soft flesh in his big hands. Even though he looked intimidating as all hell, not to mention he absolutely towered over you, he was wrapped around your pinky finger. 

He leaned down and buried his face in your neck. “It better be good, slut..” he grunted, brushing his lips over your neck. You slapped the back of his head, feeling him frown against your skin. “I said behave, bitch-boy.” Your tone was sharp, and he knew not to push you any further. 

“Fine, alright. Whatever.” He grumbled, hugging you closer to his body. 

-

It was precisely 7’oclock when the kids arrived. Jessie was still in her room, not wanting to hang out with you and Judd alone; she had refused to come out after your parents left. 

Surprisingly, Judd was the first at the door. He grinned evilly. “Welcome to purgatory, you little shits.” He said, looking down at the 8th graders menacingly. “Bitch! Your sister's dumb friends are here!” He called over his shoulder. 

You huffed audibly. “Are you gonna let them in or what, numbnuts?” You called back to him, pouring the last packet of popcorn into a bowl. 

He frowned and stepped aside, letting the now pretty frightened kids inside. Missy walked in first, smiling nervously at Judd, then came Andrew and Nick. 

Nick was about to step inside, when Judd put a hand on his shoulder. The younger boy stopped dead in his tracks, praying to whatever god he could think of that his brother would let him off easy. “I didn’t do anything! Judd, I swear, please let me go!” He shouted, voice breaking multiple times.

A ghost of a smirk crossed Judd’s face. “Don’t try shit, or I will rip your tiny dick off and force it down your throat. Got it, asslicker?” 

Nick swallowed thickly, frantically nodding his head. Of course Judd had picked up on his brother's crush on you, as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Y-You got it, Judd!” He confirmed, panicked chuckles escaping him. 

“Judd. Let him inside.” You stomped up to them, looking so livid you scared Judd back into being nice as you crossed your arms over your chest. Nick looked away quickly, a pink flush covering his face and neck. 

Judd pushed Nick inside with a frown, once again not being able to refuse you. The kids looked on in bewilderment as the intimidating teen seemed to slightly cower under your glare, complying to your will. He looked down at them with something akin to shame, before following after you like a lost puppy.

The kids were in complete shock. Had Judd been fucking possesed?

You called out to Jessie, telling her to come out of her room, before dragging Judd back into the kitchen. 

-

“Y/nnn! Can you start the movie already?” Jessie whined loudly.

A bit of shuffling could be heard in the kitchen. ”I-In a minute! We’re just fixing some drinks!” You called out, voice slightly shaky.

“.. do you really think they’re getting drinks?” Missy asked, after an agonising minute of silence. The kids sat stiffly on the couch. 

You had told them to make themselves at home, but none of them were able to really calm down with Judd in the house. 

Jessie scoffed. “Does it sound like they’re getting drinks? My sister's kind of a slut if you haven’t noticed.” She spat. 

Nick rolled his eyes. “So is Judd.” 

The two of them weren’t able to get over their jealousy of your relationship, somehow not yet registering that they didn’t stand a chance with high schoolers. 

“Come on guys, that’s not a very nice thing to say,” Missy said nervously, glancing at the kitchen door. 

“Jessie, do you think it’s possible I can get a glass of milk? I feel very dehydrated right now,” Andrew muttered, wringing his hands. 

Jessie sighed and Nick immediately began explaining in detail how Judd would murder him. But ultimately, after a long and intense discussion, the kids decided to venture into the kitchen.

-

“You promised to be nice,” You said over your shoulder, holding Judd’s hand as you pulled him to the kitchen. 

“I am nice.” He huffed, letting go of your hand and instead reaching out to grab your waist. He gently lifted you, setting you down on the counter top before stepping in between your legs. For a moment you thought he would lead it somewhere, but your face morphed into a gentle smile when he buried his face in your neck, hands gently rubbing up and down your sides. 

You softly stroked his hair, making the angry agent of chaos visibly relax as he melted into your touch. “You didn’t even last ten seconds,” You muttered, immediately recognizing his actions as jealousy.

He breathed out against your neck, and you couldn’t help but softly laugh at the tingly feeling. “It was nice enough for me to make the popcorn, do you want me to fucking hand feed them too?” He grumbled, straightening up so he could glare down at you. 

You rolled your eyes. “Calm down there, Mr. grumpy-pants. All I ask is that you remain civil for the night, or at least until the movie’s over,” You gave him your very best puppy dog eyes, reaching up to gently brush your hands over his jaw again. Reluctantly, he leaned into your touch, fighting to keep his angry glare. 

Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t deny how absolutely soft he was for you. Your touch calmed him like no other, not even horror movies or tormenting the neighbourhood made him feel as gleeful as when you touched him. 

He hummed in response, not really registering what you said, too focused on your touch. His own hands travelled from your waist to your thighs, gently squeezing. You let out a soft little sigh and instantly Maury appeared. 

‘What? What’d I miss? You’re gonna fuck?’ The hormone monster asked, observing the situation. ‘Oooh! You should totally have a quickie, let’s see how many fingers you can stuff in her before the kids find out!’ He grinned, shaking Judd by the shoulders.

“Shut the fuck up.” Judd growled, making Maury let out a series of horse laughs. ‘Oh ho ho ho! At least get a good feel of her boob, we need something to get through the movie!’ He said dramatically, before patting Judd’s head and walking off in search of new entertainment. 

Judd thought about it for a moment, before slowly sliding his right hand up your tummy until he could palm one of your tits. 

“Judd,” You said, placing your hand over the one he had on your chest, but not removing it. “You gotta behave, alright? Just for tonight. And you can touch aaall you want after, I promise,” You said, finishing the sentence with a long kiss to his cheek. 

“Fuck. Okay, fine.” He relented, removing his hand from your boob and intertwining his fingers with yours instead. He leaned in, pressing a series of wet kisses to your jaw and neck. 

You hummed happily, half closing your eyes until you caught movement somewhere over Judd’s shoulders. You immediately straightened up, opening your eyes fully only to make eye contact with four completely stupefied middle schoolers. 

The kids were too stunned to speak, literally.

Andrew was stammering incoherently, Nick seemed to find the ceiling very interesting, Missy and Jessi had both turned completely red in face but for very different reasons. 

“Oh. Hello,” You said awkwardly, pushing Judd away and jumping off the counter quickly. 

Your boyfriend in question let out a disappointed grunt, murderously glaring down the kids but keeping quiet. You all stood in complete silence for a few, agonisingly long seconds, until Andrew finally spoke up.

Still wringing his hands, the preteen stepped slightly closer to you. “Y/n, I’m very sorry to interrupt. But could I maybe get a glass of milk? It would really help with my nervous stomach—“ You cut him off before he could go into further detail about his digestive system and smiled warmly at him. 

“—Of course. Why don’t you follow Judd back into the living room, he’ll start the movie for you and then I’ll be right out. Okay?”   

If looks could kill, you’d be six feet under. 

Judd bore holes through your back with his eyes, as you turned to open the fridge. “O-okay! Once again, thank you Y/n,” Andrew said, seemingly relieved.

Slowly the kids turned to walk out the kitchen, drizzling out one after the other. Jessi bore a somewhat mischievous smile, walking a bit slower on purpose in hopes she could walk next to Judd. Your boyfriend sighed heavily, uncrossing his arms and following after the kids. He was slowly coming to realise that he had no other choice, than to be a slave for a gang of middle schoolers. 

The kids were again stiffly seated on the couch, this time with Judd sitting in the far end. Jessie had glued herself to his side, shamelessly sitting as close to him as possible. He was sure he would accidentally hit her if he moved his arm just the slightest.

He was holding the remote, quickly flicking through movies on netflix as the kids fought over what to watch. 

“Shut the fuck up.” He barked. “I’ll find you a good movie,” And by “good movie'' he meant the absolutely goriest horror flick netflix had to offer. 

Judd grinned sinisterly as he chose a movie, looking over to see the kids all sporting comically shocked expressions. 

Andrew carefully glanced at Judd. “Excuse me, Judd, but are you sure this movie is suitable for children?” He asked. 

“Y-yeah. Doesn’t that say you have to be sixteen..? My mom said I shouldn’t watch scary movies until I feel ready,” Missy added.

Nick didn’t say anything. He was scared enough of his brother already to disagree openly with him, and he also didn’t want to seem like a wimp in front of Jessi. 

“It’s about time you little pussies grow up. Be quiet and just watch the fucking movie,” Judd said, as mischievously as his monotone voice would allow him to sound. 

Jessi nodded gravely. “Yeah, guys. Shut up. It’s just a movie,” She said, looking up at Judd with big eyes for approval. He only grunted, pressing start on the remote. 

Within the first few minutes, Andrew and Nick were clinging to each other. Missy was curled in on herself, watching the movie through her spread fingers. Judd grinned evilly, satisfied with his choice as he started digging through his pockets.

He was quick to dig up a lighter and half a blunt. A bloody jumpscare in the movie made Jessi jerk and grab onto Judd’s arm, slightly shaking. He sighed deeply, annoyed, but let it slide. He lit the blunt, throwing his feet up on the coffee table and tilting his head back as he inhaled deeply. 

“Judd, I told you not to smoke inside,” You grumbled, returning to the living room with drinks and even more popcorn. Judd raised his head slightly, cocking an eyebrow at you. “Shut up,” He simply said, gesturing to the way Jessi was clinging to him. 

You had to stifle a laugh, quickly setting the snacks on the coffee table and handing the milk to Andrew, who reached out to take it with a shaky hand, refusing to look at the tv.

Upon noticing the lack of space on the couch, Judd beckoned you to his lap. You happily sat down, Jessi giving you a disturbed look as your body gently pushed hers away. 

“What the hell are we even watching?” You asked, Judd shrugged. “Dunno. Summer camp massacre something,” He said, handing you the blunt as you got comfortable on his lap. 

You took a long drag, nuzzling into Judd as his hands came down to hold your waist, pulling you closer to him. “Guys,” Missy suddenly whispered, eyes glued to you and Judd. “Is that.. Marijuana.. As in drugs?”

Judd chuckled, you could feel him move beneath you as you struggled to keep from laughing yourself. 

You said the only appropriate answer you could scrape from your brain; “Well.. Yeah.” 

Missy’s eyes grew to sorcerers. “You can’t do that! Marijuana is a gateway drug! It could mess up your brain- Oh fudge! It could mess up my brain from inhaling secondhand!” 

This time you couldn’t conceal your giggle, handing the blunt back to Judd as you leaned forward. You smiled softly at the younger. “Don’t worry about it, Missy. You’re way too smart to be corrupted by secondhand smoke,” You said. Missy nodded reluctantly, a small smile appearing on her face as she accepted the compliment.

“Mom will actually kill you,” Jessi mumbled and you fondly ruffled her hair. “She won’t if you keep your mouth shut.” You teased, as she scowled at you. Her eyes quickly left yours, to blatantly stare at Judd as he blew clouds of smoke out his nose. He truly looked like an angry dragon, staring at the movie screen with furrowed brows. 

Jessi went bright red, looking away immediately when Judd turned to meet her gaze. You grinned, ruffling her hair again before relaxing back into your boyfriend. Judd gave another annoyed grumble, but soon relaxed himself. 

Somehow, the kids managed to be quiet for the duration of the movie as you finished the blunt and most of the snacks.

Jessi fell asleep against you, having ended up clutching your hand for safety (probably from the masked killer on screen). Missy fell asleep against Andrew, the two huddled in a pile. Nick had slid down from the couch, attempting to hide from the movie but ending up sleeping under the coffee table.

By the time credits came on screen, you and Judd were the only ones awake. Pleasantly hazy from the smoke session, you turned your head to smile at him.

“You were so good. I like nice Judd,” You muttered, leaning up to press a soft, slow kiss to his lips. 

He immediately deepened the kiss, claiming his price. In a horny daze, his hands migrated to your butt and his tongue invaded your mouth. You sighed, a bit too loudly and let your own hands wander. Over his shoulders, rubbing down his chest and abdomen till eventually they rested just over his belt. 

The hiss that escaped him as your hands pressed to his crotch, definitely did not go unnoticed and you responded in kind by moving from his lips, messily gliding wet kisses down his jaw and neck. You bit him playfully, but still hard enough to leave indents in his perfectly smooth neck. 

‘Oooh, baby!’ Right on time, Connie appeared at your side. She purred like a cat, curling around you and Judd on the couch. ‘Why don’t you hurry and jump right on up on that delicious dick of his? You know he can make you feel reeeeeaaaal good,’ She drawled.

Barely acknowledging her, you dumbly nodded in agreement. 

‘Hurry, dumpling! Don’t got much time before the kiddies wake up,’ She urged you, poking Jessi with a long fingernail, and indeed, your sister was starting to stir. 

You could only let out a frustrated huff. Judd had your hair fisted in one hand and your hip clutched tightly in the other, helping you rut yourself against his growing bulge in long, hazy strokes. He felt good, you felt good, everything felt so, so good and moving away from the heavenly friction could not be more of a bother. 

You leaned forward a bit, which came with resistance considering his tight grip on your hair, and whined lowly in his ear. 

Gently, you nosed at his cheek. “Judd.. the kitchen. C’mon,” You breathed.

He retaliated by grinding up into you, much harder than before, allowing you to feel the entirety of his now, very hard, length. You moaned loudly in response. 

“We need to.. the kitchen— they’re waking up,” It was a difficult task to form the right words, with the increased amount of pleasure, so you scratched his shoulders, gently, to get your point across. 

Leaning in, he captured your lips in a hard kiss, licking into your mouth with such fervour your head was spinning. He let go, biting down on your bottom lip and dragging it back before pulling away completely. 

“Stupid fucking kids,” He gritted, tongue swiping over his lips, plump from kissing. 

Heaving, you bit your bottom lip and batted your eyelashes at him in a most sultry display that was sure to make Connie proud. A sinister grin spread across his face, when he got an idea and he let go of your hair in favour of kneading your ass in both his hands.

“I’ll fuck you on the table, slut, be grateful.” It was a demand, but you didn’t mind because right at that moment, nothing truly sounded more pleasing than getting railed on the dining table in your mothers kitchen. 

A shudder went through you at the thought, warmth slushing in your belly and still, you grinned coyly at him. “Only because you were so well behaved. I’m starting to think you actually like them, Juddy-Wuddy?” You said, motioning to the four kids as you cooed at him. 

You got him with that one. Watching with glee as his jaw clenched and he sent you a look that could only mean one of two things; he was going to kill you or plow you until you could no longer walk. You highly suspected the latter.

Your boyfriend scoffed. “It’s almost cute how damn smart you think you are, huh? You fucking bitch.” He glowered. He despised when you called him that, one of the many terrible nicknames you had overheard his mom call him, and he always fell right into your trap. 

Before you could start to respond, he was rising from the couch, hands manoeuvring under your thighs to lift you up with him. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, legs tighter around his waist to keep his clothed cock pressed up against your core, and nuzzled your face into his neck. 

His hands were warm on your thighs, so big they almost covered them entirely when he spread his fingers. You latched onto his neck again, engraving lots of little purple marks, just how he liked it. 

His response came as a strained grunt, as he barreled into the kitchen and dropped you on the corner dining table. 

The table was cold, you squealed as your thighs dragged along the cool surface and Judd wasted no time, leaning over you and pushing your skirt up to expose your panties. 

A sinister grin spread across his face when he found your panties were already damp and soaked, his award for being a prime example of a boyfriend this evening.

You bucked your hips, mewling for attention and hoping he would be quick to relieve you of the throbbing between your thighs. 

He laughed, low and husky as he watched you writhe on the table beneath him. Your lips were swollen and plump, a deep blush covered your cheeks and your hair was messily spread out over the table’s surface. His dick ached.

‘Boi-oi-oi-oing!’ Maury was right behind him, a wild smile split his face and he let his tongue hang out, looking more like a rabid dog than a hormone monster. 

‘C’mon! Shove your fist inside her, she obviously wants it!’ Maury barked, shaking Judd by the shoulders. The teen shook him off, grumbling a threat as he returned to the task at hand. 

You heaved in a breath, tongue coming out to wet your lips again. “Judd, I swear to god, do something—“ You pleaded, desperately. 

“— have patience. And shut the fuck up.” Judd grunted, long fingers creeping towards the wet patch on your panties. Then, he pressed down, right in the middle of the wetness where your much neglected clit sat.

Gasping, you reached out to grasp his bicep. He pressed down again, keeping his thump there and swirling it in circles. You gasped and whined his name softly, the wet fabric glided over your most sensitive part so well it was hard to think about keeping quiet. 

He was quick to silence you with a kiss, however, as his left hand finally, finally, left the wet patch to pull your panties off. You helped him shake them off, too focused with the cool air blowing on your hot core to notice how he crumbled up your panties and stuffed them in his back pocket. 

You begged for him again, whines disappearing into his open mouth as he kept it slotted over yours. 

He shushed you, putting his weight on his right hand as he leaned in further between your legs, suddenly stuffing two fingers into you, in one smooth motion. You cried out so loudly and desperately that not even Judd’s wet kisses could conceal it, he gave you another rough thrust of his fingers in retaliation.

Your eyes were half closed, lips forming an ‘o’ as he pulled away from your mouth to bite at your neck. His fingers reached a depth that your own could not, hitting a softer, mushier spot in your pussy that had you seeing stars each time. He was so rough with his thrusts too, working quickly and effectively to bring you to ecstasy and making the table rattle slightly. You could only pray that the slight scraping on the tiled kitchen floor could not be heard in the living room.

What was much louder, however, were your own loud gasps and breathy moans of your boyfriend's name. The closer you got, the louder your pleas became. 

Judd bit your neck again, hard enough to turn the skin purple. “I said, be quiet, bitch.” He groaned into your neck, panting slightly as the pace of his hand increased. 

You tried, but really couldn’t. The lewd squelching sound and the rapid stroking of his two fingers against your g-spot had you mewling and bucking against him. And it certainly didn’t help, when his thumb pressed down on your clit as well. 

His slender fingers didn’t create much of a stretch, but you knew he was preparing you for his monstrous cock and because his fingers were so deliciously long the waiting time was never disappointing. 

You could vaguely hear Connie bustling about in the background, shouting her encouragement and coaxing you to tell Judd all sorts of lewd things. You didn’t listen, you couldn’t when you were so, so close to your breaking point. 

With your body on fire, liquid pleasure in your veins, your toes curled and you tilted your head to allow Judd better access to the unmarked parts of it. He graciously took the opportunity, returning his grip on your head to position you just how he wanted.

Your thighs clenched around Judd’s arm, lip trembling as your eyes crossed in pleasure. “Judd..!” 

And then he was pulling away, you whined desperately in the process, only to be silenced with a large hand slapped across your mouth. 

“I told you to be quiet, bitch.” He snarled, his voice now so deep and feral it made you shiver. He squeezed your cheeks together, a bit of drool escaped your mouth and smeared on his hand, as he pulled you to a sitting position. “Didn’t I?”

Your pussy throbbed, clenching around nothing at both the rough treatment and being so suddenly void of stimulation. 

With your cheeks squished together, you couldn’t respond, so you opted for frantically nodding your head, softly whining out for him. You needed him inside you, and it had to be now. 

You rutted yourself against the table, slick following you and making a trail on the wooden surface, it felt good, but definitely not as good as Judd’s cock would feel. 

“Pw-pf..a..e.. Pwase!” You begged him, hands wandering towards his belt, feeling him up and unbuckling his belt buckle. You gasped quietly, he was so hard it had to hurt and the feeling of him pressed to your palm made you clench around nothing again. Despite the layers of clothes between you. 

He moaned, but reached down to gather both wrists in his free hand and pinning them together. “You think you think you deserve that? After all the fucking noise you made?” 

You cried out and nodded. Judd grinned sinisterly. “You’re so pathetic, you little slut. You know that?” 

You wanted to kick him, or at least insult him back but the throbbing in your cunt and the fact that his words only made that throb so much worse, made it quite hard to do so. 

Then, he leaned in, resting his chin on top of your head and inhaled your hair deeply. “You’re my little slut.” He grunted and, oh, you could have cum right there. 

You nuzzled into him, burying your head where his neck became his chest and started leaving small, wet kisses. 

He didn’t let go of either your wrists or mouth, instead he barked one simple order; “Off.” and brought your bound wrists towards his crotch again. 

You didn’t need to be told twice, immediately getting to work and shoving both his pants and underwear as far down as your position would allow you to grab at his dick. 

Hissing in pleasure, he pulled you closer to him. He was throbbing and warm in your hand, heavy and so swollen the head had almost turned purple, you tried lifting yourself up, tried to get just the tiniest bit of friction. 

You pumped him slowly, he was sticky with pre-cum already and he dropped his head into your hair again, burying his face into you with a strained groan. He, too, was close to his breaking point.

Letting your wrists and cheeks free, he opted to grab under both your hips, lifting them up to hover above his dick. You let go of him, fingers coming to scratch at the table as he did the remainder of work for you and you fell back on the table. 

“This what you want?” He grunted, thrusting experimentally and nudging his cockhead against your swollen little pearl. 

“Yes.. yes, yes! Please, Judd, it hurts, I need it..!” You blabbered, cheeks puffy and face screwed up as you felt your empty pussy ache with anticipation. Only your boyfriend's dick could ease the twang in your lower belly. 

He inhaled sharply through his nose, face set in stone and brows drawn together as he finally thrusted into you, filling you so completely in that one thrust, that you suddenly felt too full. 

The bit of pain from the wide stretch you felt melted into white-hot pleasure almost as soon as it appeared and when Judd pressed a bit more into you, his hip bones meeting yours, you came instantly. 

You cried out, overwhelmed by the sudden and immense pleasure. Judd cursed, rather loudly and tried pressing further into you, holding you flush against him as you clenched uncontrollably around him. You were even tighter now, so tight it almost hurt and so he waited for you to ride out your orgasm, breathing heavily. 

“Shit.. fuck you! Ah!” He nearly whined at the feeling, blunt nails digging into the plush flesh on your hips. 

Panting, sobbing and sighing, you slowly came down from your orgasm, not at all ready when Judd suddenly started thrusting again. You were already overstimulated, but the wide stretch and feeling of his cock inside felt so heavenly.

You couldn’t help the never-ending mantra of his name that escaped you, matching each of his violent thrusts. He wanted you to feel him as deep as possible, you knew, and he made sure of it. Leaning in over you to hit you at a deeper angle, pressing down on your belly as he fucked you to see himself bulging through. 

“Judd, m’so full,” You slurred, digging your nails into his shoulders, as deep as they would go. He grunted a response, sweat gathering on his dark brows; “You gotta be quiet, baby.” He was strained as he spoke, teeth clenched and warm breath fanning your face.

Then, he squeezed under your thighs again, sliding you towards the edge of the table. “Spread your legs.” He demanded gravelly, and you easily complied. He pressed himself to you further, barely pulling out after each thrust, but doubling the force in which he thrusted. 

The table scraped loudly against the floor, you whimpered and tried to quiet yourself, face heating as the room filled with squelching sounds that definitely didn’t leave anything to the imagination, should anyone overhear. 

Already, you started to tighten around him again, your thighs quivered as you did your best to keep them apart. Judd noticed almost immediately, bringing his thumb down upon your puffy clit. 

“C’mon pretty girl, cum for me again,” He panted and you followed suit, before you could cry out, though, he captured your lips with his own, chest pressed to yours. 

You sobbed into his mouth as his tongue licked flames into you, clutching him to you. His thrusts became irregular, driving you into the table until he couldn’t hold out anymore. He moved to pull out, but you stopped him, keeping him pressed against you. “Don’t.. they’ll see— in-inside.” You panted into his mouth, and almost immediately felt a slush of warm liquid fill your lower belly. 

Judd grit his teeth tightly, jaw fully clenching and breath heaving. His green eyes were dark and glazed, he straightened up a little, raising himself on his forearms to look down at you. 

You were drooling slightly, makeup a bit smudged as you laid out on the table, revelling in the feeling of complete satisfaction and Judd’s cum filling you.

He waited a while to pull out, watching with interest as your tummy swelled ever so slightly from the combining force of his dick and his spend. 

“You’re fucking horrible at being quiet,” He eventually stated.

You puffed out your cheeks, sitting up and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “It wasn’t me who made the table move,” you countered.

Judd’s hands ventured up your back, holding you to him. “You whine like a bitch in heat,” He countered, monotonously, in the most endearing way he could possibly put it. Because honestly, he loved the sounds you made. 

Maury clapped him on the back and barked something at him, reminding him that the two of you were indeed not alone and he pulled out of you. You sighed as he slipped out, feeling your combined liquids leak out a bit as well. 

He was quick to pull his pants and boxers up, turning from you to fetch a roll of paper towels. As he always did, he insisted on cleaning up for you. 

You had asked him about it once, getting the lame response of; “I like to keep my things clean.” 

Fixing your skirt to cover yourself, you found that your panties were nowhere in sight and fixed Judd a look. 

Your boyfriend shrugged. “This is your house, just get another pair.” You blew a raspberry at him. “I’m actually gonna run out of underwear because of you.” 

He didn’t care, it was quite obvious, so you kissed his jaw and jumped from the table, to get yourself a new pair. Judd didn’t miss his chance to roughly squeeze your ass as you walked past him. 

-

Nick awoke to a strange sound. The loudest being the scraping of something on the floor, then he heard you cry, loud and continually as though you were in pain. 

Immediately he sat up. The room was dark and the tv static, he drowsily looked around, his four friends sleeping soundly on the couch. Andrew moved his foot, coincidentally pinning Nick down with it. Groggily, he sighed and pushed Andrew off him. 

He swayed a bit as he stood up, rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out of them. His brother and you weren’t anywhere to be seen, the spot where you previously was sitting now occupied by Jessi, sleeping in a starfish position. 

That was when he heard the sound again, the scraping and then the desperate gasping. This time, though, he heard his brother’s raspy voice as well. What the hell was going on?

‘Judd and Y/n are wrestling,’ Suddenly his temporary hormone monster, Tyler emerged from the kitchen with a disturbed look. 

“What?” Nick was way too tired to process something like that. 

‘They’re rolling around on the table! Like this!’ Tyler got on top of the coffee table, and started intimidating something that definitely did not look like wrestling.

Tyler noticed Nick’s confused expression. ‘Yeah! And she keeps crying and saying his name— like, like this!’ The monster proceeded to do an utmost terrible impression of you calling for Judd and Nick cringed. ‘— and then, Judd told her to shut up and called her a slut! I think he’s gonna get her in a chokehold. I wouldn’t put my money on Y/n, though, she’s not even trying to fight him off—‘

“— Yeah, I don’t think they’re wrestling, Tyler.” Nick deadpanned, cutting the deity short. He felt his face grow increasingly red, as your sounds grew. Now, even he could hear you beg Judd for all sorts of lewd things. 

‘Oh.’ Tyler blinked a couple of times. Nick shivered, he definitely did not need to hear his brother bone his girlfriend (on whom he had a crush) or explain the situation to his hormone monster. 

The two of them remained in uncomfortable silence for a while, Nick pacing back and forth to clear his head of any inappropriate thoughts that Tyler was coaxing him into, once he had figured out the situation. 

Eventually, Nick settled on waking Andrew. 

“Andrew,” He pushed his friend and whispered again. “C’mon, wake up, Andrew,” 

The latter mumbled something incoherent, adjusting his glasses in his sleep. Nick groaned and shook him, not relenting. “I never peed in that pool!” Andrew woke up shouting, and Nick tumbled back in surprise. 

“What?” Nick hissed. Andrew looked about wide eyed, seemingly as groggy as Nick. “I— what?” Andrew repeated. He blinked at his friend slowly, not yet aware of the circumstances. 

He pulled Andrew from the couch, and put a hand over his mouth. “Listen,” He whispered, and watched as his friend's expression turned from annoyed, to confused, to very very startled. 

“Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god!” Andrew stammered. Nick removed his hand. “Is that— are they?” His head snapped from Nick to the kitchen entrance and back again. 

The shorter nodded once, stiffly. “What do we— do we do anything? We could go back to sleep before Judd— oh god, what if they find out we heard?”

Nick turned to his panicking friend, determination clear in his eyes. “We need to go see for ourselves.” 

Andrew’s eyes grew impossibly larger, to the size of sorcerers. “What? No! No, no, normally I come up with those kinda terrible ideas— are you okay, Nick?” He put a clammy hand to Nick’s forehead, fauxingly checking his temperature.

Nick clicked his tongue, annoyed, and waved his friend’s hands away. “Think, Andrew! You have a crush on Y/n, I have a crush on Y/n, haven't you imagined her like that a lot of times, anyway? We can just look, really quickly,” 

“Uuhh, I— I don’t know,” He stammered, eyes flicking to the kitchen door. 

Nick sighed. “I’m going to go look.” His statement was final, as he marched off. Andrew wrung his hands, definitely not unaware of his own desire to see what his two designated babysitters were up to, and his legs seemed to follow after Nick all by themselves. 

The two stopped by the door, neither daring to actually peek inside yet. 

“Judd, m’so full,” 

Both boys stiffened at the sound of your voice, breathy and begging and definitely not how you usually spoke to them. 

Then, Judd grunted; “You gotta be quiet, baby.” Followed up by a harsh command of; “Spread your legs.”

Nick swallowed, and Tyler pushed him further towards the door, squealing at him to look. Suddenly, his previous courage had completely disintegrated and he looked at Andrew, panicked.

The other was just as alarmed, sweat beating his forehead as the scraping sounds picked up and they realised the weight of the situation. 

They stood there for a while, completely perplexed, having been so scared off by your vulgar statements that neither dared to move. Andrew shut his eyes tightly, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he heard Maury in the room as well. He was barking orders at Judd, all of which went completely ignored, and cheering the two of you on.

Then, after what felt like aeons, the noise quieted down and the two preteens listened as you had a quiet conversation. Judd was way less mean, when he talked to you in private, they both noted. Only when you went off to get another pair of briefs, did they realise their mistake. But it was too late for them to move, instead they both stood there with rapidly beating hearts, faces bathed in red with sheepish expressions as you exited the room. 

You stuck your head out the entrance first, yelling in surprise when you caught sight of the two boys. “Oh my god.” You breathed, then realising that they probably heard most of what just went on.

Caught red handed, you couldn’t bear to look neither of them in the eyes. You straightened, quickly walking past them and holding your skirt tightly around your bottom. 

Levelling your voice the best you could, you called to them over your shoulder; “Judd’s in the kitchen, if you need anything,” You squeaked, bounding upstairs to your room before they could properly take in your dishevelled appearance. 

Nick panicked, now they had to go in the kitchen, or suspicion would surely arise. He grabbed onto Andrew’s sleeve, willing his legs to move and take the final few steps into the kitchen.

Into the dragon's den, where Judd, the dragon resided. 

“H-hi. Judd.” Nick stammered. Judd had his back to them, raiding the fridge for anything to drink. You had only stocked up on diet sodas.

The older teen acknowledged them with a grunt, not bothering to turn before his drink-mission was complete. The two boys stood awkwardly in the middle of your kitchen, waiting for whatever reign of terror Judd would have prepared for them; but none came. 

Judd slammed the fridge door shut, and to their total surprise, threw each boy a Diet Coke. “Need anything else?” He drawled, sauntering to the table and slumping down in a chair. He opened a coke for himself and got comfortable in his chair, downing almost the entire can in one go. 

Andrew and Nick shared a glance, and simultaneously inched towards the table. The two of them sat down quietly, still waiting for Judd to scare them away. 

But he was completely out of character, for once, he looked kinda relaxed. Albeit a bit sweaty and tousled, but as calm as Nick had ever seen his older brother. His eyes lingered on Judd’s neck, where he bore a collection of teeth indents, smudges from your lipstick and hickeys.

The three sat in silence for a bit, listening as the light under the cabinets buzzed and eventually Judd got up to fetch another soda. 

“You want any more?” He asked the two, and they politely declined. He shrugged and returned to the table with a new can. 

Nick fiddled with the top of his can, eyes flitting around the room nervously. “Judd. Can I ask you a question?” He dared not look up as he spoke, keeping his eyes planted on the table.

Judd grunted, his way of saying ‘go ahead.’

“Why are you being so nice to us?” The question visibly caught Judd a bit off guard, he stopped drinking for a brief moment, thinking the question over before his stoic exterior returned. 

“Y/n wants me to be nice to you. She likes you small assholes,” He shrugged. 

Andrew looked at the older bewildered. “Y/n told you to be nice to us?” He asked, voice cracking as if he couldn’t believe his own ears. 

Judd frowned. “That’s what I said, wasn’t it?” He snapped.

Andrew swallowed thickly. “Y-yeah. Sorry,” 

“But— I mean, why? She’s not even here, and, you usually don’t listen to anyone,” Nick was unrelenting, now past the point of caring if Judd would beat him up for asking questions. 

A pregnant pause wove through the room, as Judd thought about the question. He still looked considerably less angry than usual, but his features were set in a frown and his brows drew together and made it look like he was planning something sinister. 

“I do what she says because I love her.” He said eventually, glaring off into space as he thought his answer over.

Neither of the two boys could believe their ears. The Judd Birch had just declared his love publicly. It must have been the post-nut clarity. 

When they failed to respond, he continued on; “Sometimes you gotta do dumb shit, even if it’s fucking annoying, to keep a girl.” He mumbled, still deep in thought. Had the situation been different, Nick would have found it quite funny to hear Judd talk about such tender things in his gruff voice. 

Andrew leaned over the table, adjusting his glasses. “Is— Is that how you get a girlfriend?” 

At that, the corners of Judd’s lips moved upwards ever so slightly. He turned fully to them, a wicked look in his eyes. “That’s how you get laid, numbnuts.” 

Then Nick cut in; “But what after? What if I like this girl, and I really wanna touch her boobs, but I also want to talk to her. I mean just talk. Because she’s smart, and funny, and really nice,” 

Judd dug through his back pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and opened the window on the wall behind him. He stuck one between his lips, and offered the pack up to the boys. 

“We’re twelve.”

Judd merely shrugged and lit his own cigarette. “If you wanna touch her tits, you gotta talk to her first. And don’t be a little creep. Charm her and shit,” He explained. 

Nick deadpanned. “Charm her?” Judd was everything but charming. It would forever remain the greatest mystery to him, how his brother managed to pull any girls at all. 

Andrew pushed up his glasses. “Actually, what Judd is saying is true. You need to make her feel as if you care about her—“ 

“—I do care about her!” Nick protested. 

Judd flicked a bit of his cigarette off over the window still. “Then it’s easy. Just talk to her, pussy.” He inhaled a long drag. “If she’s into small pricks, you’ll be just her type.”

The younger pouted. “Not funny, Judd.”

Judd cackled, lowly, sinisterly. “Then, how do you know if a girl likes you?” Andrew asked. 

“She lets you touch her tits.” 

Nick sighed. “C’mon, Judd! There has to be more to it— I mean, you have a girlfriend, so you obviously know.”

The eldest grunted and exhaled smoke through his nose. He thought for a bit before replying; “I was at a party, and I saw this girl, Y/n, and she was really fucking hot. Is really fucking hot,” He fixed the two middle schoolers a pointed look. “So I talked to her, turns out she’s really fucking sweet too. And when you meet a girl like that, all the rest comes naturally,” He finished his explanation, a bit smug as the two boys looked at him in wonder. 

“Not to offend, b—but haven’t you dated lots of girls? How’d you do that?” Andrew asked. 

Judd put his cigarette out in his, now empty, coke can. “Sure I have. You can also just fuck girls, but it’s a lot more fun if you like them,” He said. 

“How do I do that, then? Do I have to talk to her too, even if I don’t like her?” Andrew was a bit eager now, but Nick had to admit that he was also itching for answers. 

“No matter what, you gotta talk to her. Maybe not for long, and if you just wanna fuck, you have to say the right things,” He said, and then quickly added. “But don’t do that. I don’t want you two turning into little dicks,” 

“Then.. What if you’re already friends with her?” It was a bit of a jump in topic, but Nick had to get answers, and right now was probably the only time he had the opportunity to ask. 

Judd snorted. “You want to fuck one of your friends out there?” He cackled, motioning to the living room. 

Nick turned red very quickly. “No.” 

“Fuck, you’re a little simp!” The eldest was finding Nick’s personal troubles a little too funny, and he huffed, glaring at his brother. “But all the rules still apply. Be charming, talk to her, and don’t be a creep.” Judd eventually added, nodding at his brother. 

“Thank you, Judd.” Nick muttered, and he meant it. 

“Yeah, thank you, Judd,” Andrew echoed. 

Judd grunted. “Yeah, whatever. But don’t, ever, spy on me and Y/n again. I mean it. Or I will gut both of you like fucking fish.”

Hi, hello,, thank you of making it this far!

Originally, I wanted to label this “16+ do not interact if you’re younger” but honestly I ate shit like this tf UP when I was 13 💀 idk if I made Judd a little too OOC, sorry big mouth writers ☹️✋ I hope you enjoyed, though

Small rant + update; tumblr has been acting up on my phone lately, idk what I did to make it so laggy lately, but I have to post from my computer now ),: ALSO I’m so mad I keep forgetting that the cursive I make in Google docs doesn’t work in tumblr ahhhhHHHH so I had to go over the whole thing again, I’m pressed

And anyways, I’ve been working on a really big project for a while now, it is literally my baby, and it’s a Loki x reader because I finally watched some marvel movies lol, I’ll wait with posting it till it’s completely done bc rn it’s kinda a mess (and not nearly done) but if anyone would be interested in beta reading the first 5 chapters please don’t hesitate reaching out to me!

You are wonderful! Thank you for reading <3

Request something? HERE!

Tags? @dlfvrr (this was the only instance I could find of someone wanting to be tagged in my Judd stuff, please reply to this if you do want to be tagged)

[aria-chicken-flugget]

Dinner with the Birches

Judd x Fem!Reader

Rated Mature for strong sexual language and content MINORS* Please do not read/interact

Fic length: 3.8k words

Warnings: Mentions Knife Play, Pet Play and Choking (Those cheeky Hormone Monsters eh ;) eyebrows eyebrows~)

Summary: You're invited to dinner with the Birches, a very loving, kind and sex positive household. How will you fare as an easily embarrassed teen who just so happens to be crushing on their eldest son...

A/N: This is my first piece for Big Mouth! Cross posted from my ao3 account under the same title. Fic under the cut, enjoy :3

“Di-Dinner? I mean, are you… are you sure that that’s cool?”

You chuckled nervously, absently circling the hem of your new, hot pink shirt between your thumb and forefinger. Leah threw her head back with a laugh before checking her nails,

“Oh my God, (y/n), you forget how my parents let just about anything come for dinner.”

A horrifying flashback of Jay Bilzerian giving them post-its for dinner came to mind, with a quick roll of her eyes at the memory and a smile towards you, “You are of course more than fine, they love you.”

You took a breath and offered another soft laugh, shaking your head,

“You’re totally right, they’re… they’re really sweet. I guess I just feel bad, it’ll be my third time in a row.”

Smiling softly to yourself at the thought. You checked yourself out in your floor length mirror, smile growing as you twisted your hips to check each angle of yourself,

“I really like the shape that this shirt gives me.”

“Omg! You look amazing, it really accentuates your waist and curves.”

She gave a wink and you both laughed,

“Thanks Leah!”

Connie chimed in from atop of your bed with crossed ankles,

“I just love women building up women! You two are as good as your big, beautiful boobahs in that shirt, baby~”

You flushed with a whine,

“Connie!”

Rolling your eyes some, unable to deny it and allowing a small smirk. She had a point, your boobs did look pretty good in your new shirt. Connie’s brows wiggled comically with a low and velvet tone,

“I bet Judd’s gonna love the shirt ~”

Lilting his name in emphasis. Your cheeks begun heating up, your wide eyes flit to Leah, as if afraid you were about to be caught out. Fortunately, she couldn’t hear Connie and was distracted by her phone. You waved your hands dismissively at Connie with a low hiss,

“Connie please, the guy’s a total psycho-“

Sounding unconvincing even in your own ears. Realistically on a personal level, you only knew what you had heard of him from Leah. You knew in yourself that you were rationalizing with an excuse and worst of all, so did Connie. Connie kept gushing,

“He’s gonna love it so much that he’ll wanna tear it right off of ya, and then tie you up to the bedposts with the pretty pink shreds, OOH Baby!~”

Raising a hand to her forehead in a dramatic sweep and squirming with a laugh to herself. Your cheeks were bright red as you whined,

“Connie! Would you quit it?”

Folding your arms across your chest as you tried desperately not to imagine being tied up by Judd…

“I hardly know him, Con. Besides he’s Leah’s brother, it’d be totally weird to think of him in that way.”

Emphasizing with a nervous chuckle, but it seemed your randy hormone monstress was keen on ignoring you,

“Ooh ooh what if he does it shirtless? Please God let shirtless Judd tie her up - We loveee a shirtless Judd, he is hotter than the fireworks comin’ out of my pussy on the fourth of July!”

“Oh God, Connie! Please do not go on, I do not want to know how that feels.”

You shook your head vehemently, facepalming. Ah fuck… now you can’t stop thinking about shirtless Judd.

“Do you remember when we saw shirtless Judd for the first time, after he sharpened his knives out back, smellin’ like woodchips and cigarettes? Whew baby~”

Connie held her chin in her hands as she playfully kicked her hoofs back and forth atop of the bed, opposite Leah who was thankfully none the wiser and still on her phone. Your hands felt clammy, you swiped them against the jean of your thighs. Swallowing a cotton ball and ignoring the balmy feeling of your flushed chest, you fanned yourself with a forced laugh,

“Whew… is it warm in here?”

Leah peered up from her phone,

“Hmm? I don’t think so. Oh wait, we should probably get going soon, Mom says dinner’s gonna be ready in a half hour.”

***

The front door swung open to a beaming Elliot Birch,

“If it isn’t the wonderful (y,n)! What a pleasure it is to see you again. Please, please come in!”

Gesturing with a sweep of his arm as he stood aside, you offered a bright smile,

“It’s lovely to see you again too, Dr. Birch.”

Smile widening at his ‘This Apron’s a Feminist’ apron. What an icon. Leah appeared bored, rolling her eyes half heartedly as she breezed inside past the both of you. Smirking,

“God Dad, do you have to be so corny every time? You saw her yesterday.”

“Well when in the presence of excellence one simply must, especially if that’s everyday~.”

He held his clasped hands to his chest with a soft sigh. You felt warmth in your chest at the kindness of your best friend’s Dad. He was like a pseudo parent, with enough light and love for all. You allowed a flattered giggle, but any other thoughts stopped dead as Judd turned the corner with his shirt over his shoulder. Abs and lean muscles glistening with a sheen of sweat. His trademark scowl upon you at the door, he gave a grunt of recognition,

“Hey.”

Flicking his knife in an effortless swish. Trying to ignore Connie going nuts behind you - and dare you admit, ignoring a fluttering in your stomach - all you could manage was a,

“Uh –“

Mouth open in a small ‘o’ for a dumb moment, fortunately Diane’s voice sounded from the kitchen and saved you from an awkward moment longer,

“Judd hurry up hon, dinner’ll be ready soon.”

His scowl somehow deepened with another grunt. Scorching emerald eyes met yours and the intensity behind them winded you. Was that a smirk? It happened too quickly for you to really tell, and before you could register it, he was stalking the stairs two at a time. You were left watching his taut back muscles with your mouth hung open as Elliot giggled with Leah. Connie was trying to tell you that he really did like the shirt after all, but you were too busy trying to clear your throat and come back down to Earth. You took a deep sigh, trying to cover it with a glance around the Birch family home, and distracting yourself with the pleasant aroma of a home cooked meal. You felt yourself tense, feeling curious eyes on you still. Ah shit, Leah and her Dad were right there, weren't they. They hadn’t witnessed your fluster, surely? Hopefully? And now you had to get through an entire dinner with Judd across the way… You could feel Connie’s eyebrows wiggling from where she nestled herself onto your shoulder, lashes fluttering. God Dammit, Connie.

***

“Uhh uhhh fuck, (y/n) looked so fucking good in that tight little shirt. That pretty pink fabric - her tits were practically popping out, what a little cock tease~”

Maury mused in a gravelly voice, Judd blanking him as he flung the knife in his hand at his target on the wall. Bullseye. Maury perched on the edge of the bed with an excited bounce,

“Bullseye! Judd, hey Judd – what if you used one of those knives in some knife play, huh? D’you think (y,n)’s into knife play? OOH what if you used one of your knives to slowly cut away her pretty shirt and, and just fucking motorboat those puppies haha. I tried that last week at a sex party with John Stamos heh-“

“Stop. Fucking. Talking.”

Judd interrupted with a low rasp, jabbing a knife in his direction as a warning. Then stalking away to the bathroom to shower before dinner. Hopefully the water can wash away his thoughts.

“Maybe you could beat one out in the shower before seeing those perfect tits again at dinner. OR, even better – skip dinner, bring her upstairs and plow her ‘til your shooting blanks!”

Judd growled a guttural sound at the silhouette outside the shower curtain, dangerously low. Rubbing his eyes under the hot water. Maury’s low chuckle emanated against the walls of his mind,

“Oho ho ho hoh it’s gone straight to your balls-“

“Next time you speak, I’ll stab you.”

Fuck you, Maury.

***

You were sat next to Leah with their parents heading the table, leaving you sitting opposite Nick and Judd. The room was quiet save for the clinking of cutlery on plates and rhythmic stabbing of Judd’s knife upon his plate. Anytime you peered over at him you felt your cheeks grow warm, and so were quick to avert your gaze. Hoping to distract yourself, you broke the silence,

“Thank you for having me over again, Dr and Mrs Birch.”

“Oh please, call me Diane, (y/n).”

“It’s a pleasure as always, (y/n) and please call me Elliot.”

Judd stole a glance your way to see your sweet smile, your bashful gaze turned to your food as you were tucking a stray lock of soft hair behind your ear. He soon returned to stabbing his plate. Leah’s sly smile grew as she observed the two of you, looking rather pleased with herself as she popped some food between her lips. Nick seemed to be ignoring everyone, head in his palm as he poked noncommittally at his food. Diane placed her cutlery down with a gentle voice,

“What’s the matter, Nicky?”

“Ahh, ’s nothing. Fought with Andrew.”

Elliot chimed in with concern,

“Oh no, what did you fight about?”

“Which one’s gonna fuck who, next?”

Judd interjected with that casual rasp, earning a light scold from his parents and you’d choked on your food. Nick whined,

“Shut up, Judd!”

He offered a sinister chuckle,

“What, worried he won’t feel your little dick if you did it?”

“Judder butter, play nice please, we have company.”

Elliot gestured towards you, who was being whacked on the back by Leah in an effort to stop your coughing. You waved them off good naturedly, eyes streaming as you wheezed,

“I’m alright, really.”

“Besides, it’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean.”

Elliot flourished. You tried to laugh it off to cover your wheezing cough from returning, gulping down your water. Breathless, you managed with a coerced smile,

“Does your family always talk about penis every time you have dinner?”

“Sometimes we talk about other genitals too.”

Leah sounded almost bored, entirely desensitized to it. Your brows downturned with another nervous chuckle. Catching Judd’s serious gaze on you, you immediately glanced away with a deep flush. Elliot laced his fingers as he addressed the table,

“As you may know, (y/n) we’re a very sex positive household. We don’t want our beautiful children to feel any shame when it comes to something perfectly natural, such as us normalizing small penises -”

“Oh sure yea, let’s completely forget about my problems and talk about genitals again.”

Nick muttered under his breath. Elliot reached for his youngest son’s hand,

“Nicky, having a small penis is nothing to be ashamed of, don’t let anyone get to you about it.”

You could feel yourself tensing, eyes wide as your gaze flit around the table, lips taut as if sewn shut. Elliot finished with a honeyed tone,

“Whether you decide to be intimate with Andrew or not, anyone would be lucky to be with you.”

Judd chuckled lowly as Nick whined in protest,

“I don’t want to fuck Andrew! Argh, gross.”

“Elliot, honey, maybe we should try to talk about something else?”

Diane offered, sensing the table dynamics being thrown for a loop. Elliot kissed the back of her soft palm with a smile,

“Alright, sweetheart, anything for you~. Leah, (y/n), how’re rehearsals going for your new play?”

“Oh they’re going great so far, actually, thank you. We got the leads, we’re sisters in the show.”

You chirped, beaming as bright as the sun getting to talk about what you loved and best of all, you would get to work with your best friend. If you had a magnifying glass, or if you were in fact even paying attention to it at all, you may have been able to see Judd’s lips curve into a pleasant arc. Decidedly less menacing than usual. Maury and his gaggle of penises would be having a field day. Elliot beamed,

“Oh that’s wonderful!”

“Oh God what about that scene we have to rehearse for, tomorrow though? Talk about annoying.”

Leah mused, you turned to her with lightly knotted brows,

“Which one?”

“The one with Daniel – ugh. I think they’re still making your scene together an interpretative sex scene.”

“Wh-what?”

“Ew wait, Head Pusher?”

Nick screwed up his face in disgust as he asked, Judd stopped stabbing the table. You were too busy tensing up with an unpleasant feeling crawling up your spine to notice. Elliot chimed in,

“'Head Pusher?' Should we be concerned about this young person?”

“Nick said I slashed his tires.”

“Right before Nick was sick in his hat, ha.”

Leah interjected with a laugh so that it was uncertain whether anyone had actually heard Judd’s criminal offense. You whispered to her,

“Do your parents know about that party?”

“Oh it’s fine, we got grounded for it, they know.”

“Oh okay hah.. ha..”

You tried a laugh but all this oversharing was… odd for you, to say the least. Not to mention the discomfort seeping into your lower abdomen at the thought of having any kind of scene with Daniel the Head Pusher.

“Yes I was… sick in his hat haha ha..”

Nick rubbed the back of his neck as he caught Diane’s narrowed gaze before he shot out,

“But at least I didn’t cum in the living room, that’s the worst thing to happen in that room.”

“Worst thing so far -”

“That was your friend. Your friend came in the living room.”

Leah pointed out with a scoff, her fork pointing his way, once more over shadowing Judd’s ominous threat. Judd was chuckling to himself at the news,

“Ha, Nice.”

All the while you had some salad lodged in your throat again, bobbing up and down unable to get it down. Nick uttered to himself, surprised,

“That wasn’t supposed to reflect badly on me, I don’t really know what to say now.”

“Does Andrew have a bigger penis? Is that what’s been upsetting you, Nicky?”

Elliot took his son’s hand again, voice rung true with concern despite the nature of the question stirring different reactions from the table. Nick slid his hand out from his father’s grasp as if he’d burned to the touch,

“Oh God Dad, no!-“

“His chode is bigger than your little dinger though, bet.”

“Fuck you, Judd!”

“Well someone should- and that someone is you~“

Connie muttered in your ear, almost making you jump out of your seat. Leah offered,

“Nick girls don’t care about penis size as much as guys do.”

“This wasn’t even what I was talking about! You all assumed and started talking about dicks!-“

“You know pleasure isn’t always strictly penetration, in fact I’d argue the opposite –“

Diane began and you’d finally swallowed the lodged food. You stopped trying to eat in favour of rubbing the tense spot on your brow,

“Oy vey-”

“Oh totally, but the effort in trying is better than a fucking head pusher, gross.”

“Hear that, Nick? You’ll get points for trying - if you can actually find someone that wants to hook up with you first, haha.”

“Is it so bad that he hasn’t uh.. done that stuff yet? I mean he’s still young, we all are… still young. Young and pressured ha ha... ha.”

You found yourself interjecting Judd’s low sting in a ramble, cheeks growing warmer by the minuet as it tumbled out like word vomit. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Judd after catching his unreadable gaze. Lately when you looked at Judd and caught his thousand yard stare, it made you feel things in the pit of your stomach that you only really seemed to hear about. Leah quirked a blonde brow at Judd’s response, or lack of one thereof. Diane smiled at you,

“I think that’s true, too. There’s a lot of pressure on young people to do things they may not even be ready for.”

“I hope no one’s ever made you feel that way, (y/n).”

Elliot once again with concern ringing true in his tone and intent, but only causing your shoulders to tense with a flush crawling up to your ears. You cleared your throat in an effort to even your voice,

“N-no no, not at all, thank you uh, for your concern haha I am just swell.”

Jesus Christ, swell? That’s what I’m going for? Well, too late now. Your held your arms with your head hung in a dip, Elliot was ready to preach to you about loving yourself when it was likely the last thing you needed in that moment. Judd seized you up from across the table, scowl deepening before eyeing his parents. He was quick to pluck the balsamic dressing bottle up, and tossed it over at Nick’s head,

“Hey Nick, think fast.”

“Ow Judd, what the fuck? What was that for, asshole?”

He chuckled that low sinister laugh at the connection the bottle made to his brother’s head,

“I told you, I’m an agent of chaos, you little scrunt.”

Nick rubbed the spot with a whine before slapping Judd’s arm. Diane raised her voice some,

“Judd! - Boys, stop that right now!”

“I need to get the fuck to college.”

Leah held her head in her hands for a moment, meeting your gaze between her fingers,

“Please tell me you’re finished with dinner, we can hang out upstairs if you are.”

***

After some time with Leah in her room, you were on your way out when a sweet chittering sounded by your feet,

“Hmm?”

A racoon had weaved itself between your ankles with it's excitable trill. You simply bubbled with laughter as you crouched down to meet it, any prior nerves melting away as the little racoon let you pet their fluffy head. It bumped its head up into your hand as you pet it, stroking between their eyes with your index finger,

“Well aren’t you sweet! You seem uh pretty domesticated for a wild animal?”

“Raccoons can’t be fully domesticated -"

“Jesus!”

"-but apparently they’re pretty good at catering small events.”

You shot up at the sound of Judd’s velvet voice coming out of nowhere from behind you, hand flying to your chest. Judd seemingly unfazed by the outburst had continued over it. His lips curled in an impish smirk. The racoon that was perched in your hand had fled behind Judd’s calf with a warbled chitter. Your lips curving in an unexpected smile as you met Judd’s dark smirk,

“We should get a bell on you or something, you scared the shit out of me. That was some Adam's family bullshit right there.”

“Ugh fuck, she’s into pet play? Please tell me she’s into pet play and wants to put a pretty bell collar on you or, or on herself, Mmmngh~”

Maury was still foaming at the mouth in the background, Judd grunted at him but made to ignore him as his slight smirk fell on you,

“You’re one to talk, your dumbass dramatic reaction just scared the little guy.”

Your attention drawing back to the little fella chittering from behind Judd’s leg. You rolled your eyes, trying to suppress your smile as you did. Folding your arms with a quirked brow at Judd,  before crouching down once more with a gentle smile,

“I’m sorry little one –“

Maury opened his mouth to speak as you began leaning down with that open collar, Judd glared at him murderously,

"Don't even think about it."

Before you could get into your apology, the fluffy racoon seemed to have immediately forgiven you. They hopped right into your arms, making you giggle in delight,

“Well alright then~”

“God she’s as bright as the sun, that usually disgusts us in a person.”

Maury rubbed his furry chin in thought, observing (y/n) with the racoon. After a moment more of laughter, you realized Judd was observing you with a quizical brow. You cleared your throat and stood tall, scratching the back of your head,

“Anyway, I uh.. I should be heading off now. It was nice to meet you um..?”

“Cookie. That one’s Cookie.”

You could hardly suppress your smile at the name, biting down on your plush lips,

“Cookie. Unexpectedly cute.”

“Just like Judd~”

Connie wiggled her brows with a seductive lilt, to which you rolled your eyes. Judd was no where near ‘cute’… but you couldn’t deny that learning small things like this about him made you smile, and spread an unexpected warmth through your chest. Judd allowed a small smirk,

“Cute? You don’t know why they’re called that.”

That near psychotic smile matched with that low husk made you question your initial analysis. Either way you chuckled softly, tucking your hair behind your ear with a confident smile,

“Then maybe you should tell me about it sometime.”

That stopped his smirk short, his brows raised as his lips parted in a small ‘o’. Your own smile dropped at his response. Oh shit, did I say something wrong? Before he could respond, Leah emerged from her room,

“Oh, (y/n) you’re still here?”

Judd grunted with a deepened frown, side eyeing Leah as he heard her voice from behind him. Your rosy cheeks and bright eyes met hers with a faintly opened mouth, as if about to speak. Leah leant against her door frame as she mused in a lilt,

“Well it’s dark now, I don’t think you should go home alone –“

“I’ll drive you.”

Leah smiled with raised brows, I didn’t even have to finish~

“Oh ok, are you s-sure? Thanks.”

Judd grunted in response,

“Yea, common.”

Fishing his keys from a surprise compartment behind a painting.

“Be safe, kids~”

Leah winked at you from her doorframe, you caught it as you peered over Judd’s shoulder before heading down the stairs.

“Oh Shit - Leah knows you wanna bump beautifuls with her sexy jungle cat of a brother!”

“Wait what?! I thought she meant ‘be safe’ because he drives like a maniac?”

“Oh my sweet summer child-“

Connie cradled you in her anthropomorphic hair arms without any space between you, you kept inhaling her fur. You felt like you were a dog toy being squeezed. You tapped her furry side,

“Uh, Con.. Connie – can’t breathe!”

She let you go with a small apology, watching as Judd met the bottom of the stairs, grunting at you in a way that prompted your frozen limbs to move again. Connie lilted,

“I’ll let Judd do the chokin’ baby~”

Ah fuck… now you’re fantasizing about fucking in the back of his car.

[gotta-love-dani]

Opposites attract

opposites attractpt2 pt3 pt4

Hello,so this is my first time writing a x reader in a long time so bare with me, anyhow this is going to be a Judd birch x GNreader and i truly hope you like it =)

OH MY GOD ARE YOU STUPID JUDD” screamed Leah at her brother as she ran down the stairs to tell her parents “hey what is going on” asked her mom Diane “JUDD HERE HAS A CRUSH ON Y/N” said Leah trying her best not to scream but failing in the process  “and what's wrong with Judd having a crush on y/n a beautiful amazing person” asked her dad Eliot “i think the problem is that y/n is the opposite of ‘mister psycho’ here” said nick jumping into the conversation “exactly thank you nick,they are a sunshine and a non ‘murderous’ person also even if something did happen they are big on physical touch and ‘mister get away you germ’ isn't so it would just end” said Leah finishing her very valuable and respected argument and she was right y/n was a ray of sunshine not a 4.0 GPA straight A  student but they were always happy they always tried to see the positive in everything even if sometime there was nothing positive also they didn't have an aesthetic they just put on whatever piece of clothing they had within reach and sometime or most of the time they didn't fit the goth aesthetic that Judd seemed to have.

“Jesus your family is freaking out” said Maury Judd's hormone monster “i know , you don't think i don't know dick head i told you talking out loud about it was a bad idea especially today when Leah couldn't seem to sit the fuck down in one spot she had to be walking all over the place” Judd said pissed that he wanted to talk about his feeling but to be honest talking to himself about it was better than talking to someone about it he was just mad that he couldn't kill the person that spilled the beans because he spilled the beans himself so he just blamed himself so while his family was still freaking out and Leah was saying things that where true but Judd didn't want to admit he left and just wanted to walk clear his head maybe slash some tires or break something.

“OK, why don't we try asking Judd if he likes them enough to date them and if he doesn't it won't be that bad,right? Said nick looking around for his brother “or we can try asking y/n if they like Judd and if they do we can let them know Judd likes them and let it run from there”said Diane proposing a better idea “your mother is right you can only do so much and if nothing comes of it that's fine” said Eliot wrapping one arm around Diane's waist and kissing her check  “hey guys wheres Judd” asked nick snapping them out of their conversation “oh i think he left while we were talking” said lea realizing her older brother was no longer in the house.

[spamaccsstuff]

THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR TUMBLR!!

Btw I'm losing this acc so follow my other one! @hargrovesslvt

Best Friend's Brother

Summary: Your best friends with Leah Birch, ever since you were in middle school as a new kid, only problem is that she forbid anyone of her friends to fall in love with her brother. You were only going to get water, not expecting someone else to be in the kitchen as well...

Warnings!: SMUT. 18+ CONTENT PEEPS, swearing, kinda a perv!Judd situation, and spice!

Please leave requests!!

NOT PROOFREAD SO DON'T CRITICIZE

______________________________________________

Staying at the Birch's home during the weekends was nothing new, hell you practically lived there. Leah is, and has been, your best friend since middle school. You were new and lonely and Leah invited you to a slumber party one night, right off the bat telling you not to fall in love with her "asshole of a brother". She took every possible chance to make sure she could block you from crossing his path.

You were perfectly fine with not seeing her brother Judd. That was until Connie showed up and flipped your shit backwards.

You were in Leah's room, with a controller in hand sitting on her bed, patiently awaiting her return from the bathroom. Mindlessly scrolling through your phone when suddenly her door flies open and her brother walks in. "Hey Leah, have you seen where- oh. It's you. Where's Leah?" His gravelly voice sent shivers down your spine.

"Holy shit what's that scrumptious musk~ Mm mm mm!"

Connie popped up from under the bed, smelling the air while her hair wrapped around her body, almost like hands.

”Oh, uh, she uh, went to the bathroom." You cautiously responded, trying your best not to stutter, and failing miserably at not blushing.

"Oh baby~ who is that tall, dark, and handsome beast?" Connie walked up behind Judd sticking her face in his neck smelling his scent. "Connie, not now! Leah is going to be back any second and she specifically told me that he is OFF LIMITS so if you could please stop being horny right now, that would be great!" You frantically whisper yelled at your hormone monstress, trying to settle the swirling in your stomach.

"Whatever then." He mutters shutting the door behind him as he walks out.

"You can tell me whatever you want baby~ but at the end of the day, it was Judd that made your tummy throb~" Connie said as she disappeared and Leah returned from the bathroom.

"You ok Y/n?" She asked sitting on the bed next to you.

"Hm? Oh yeah I'm fine! Just zoned out a little heh."

______________________________________________

"You should've pinned her down and railed her until her back broke while you had the chance, did you see what she was wearing?? Fucking cock tease if you ask me!" Maury was basically foaming at the mouth, following Judd back to his room. "I mean come on! Did you see those perfect tits in that tight little crop top? She was basically begging you to cum down her throat!" At this point Judd was just pissed off, with his hormone monster talking in his ear, and the blood rushing to his dick, it was hard to think.

"Fucking Christ, what the hell is wrong with me? Getting hard from my sisters friend. I need fresh air Jesus." He then went outside, deciding to work out and blow off some steam.

______________________________________________

At this point, it's well past midnight. Leah is already asleep but you just can't keep your eyes closed for the life of you. You can't stop thinking about Judd. His deep voice, his strong hands, his disregard to anything that didn't involve him. You couldn't figure out why this was happening.

Eventually you just gave up and went downstairs for a glass a water, you were frustrated. Both emotionally and sexually and you didn't know how to get over it.

As you walk down the hall, you're reminded of your outfit when you shiver from the sudden drop in temperature. A black crop top along with a pair of short shorts. The type where your butt cheeks hang out the bottom a little. You contemplated weather or not going back to change, eventually deciding to just hurry up because everyone is asleep anyhow.

But boy were you wrong. Walking into the kitchen you immediately spot Judd leaning against the counter chugging a glass of water. Shirtless. Sweating. Hot as fuck. "Oh, uh, hey." What the hell is wrong with you?!? That's it? That was so unbelievably awkward!! "Hey. Why are you down here alone?"

"Jesus Christ, his voice is turning me into a waterfall!" Connie slid in behind you trying to make you make a move on him.

"Damn dude! What's got you this worked up-! Holy shit bro look at her." Maury pops up behind Judd, practically drooling.

"Oh, I just uh, needed something to drink, that's all." You swallowed thickly as he got closer to you. Maury and Connie are on the sidelines, seeing if you two will figure shit out on your own.

"Couldn't have even tried dressing modest could you?" Judd said scowling at you, you not knowing how turned on he is, and how badly he is trying to control himself. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Why do you care?" You shot back at him, not noticing the smallest of smirks residing on his face. He likes a girl that's not afraid to stand up for herself.

"I'm just saying that you're dressed like a slut." He said with no emotion in his tone. You should've felt angry. You should've shot back at him, not rubbed your legs together and go quiet hoping to God he didn't notice. He did.

"Oh what, nothing to say now slut?" He cooed in your ear, breath husky and hands sliding to your waist. You didn't want to give in, you couldn't. At least not yet. You stood up taller and went around him, ignoring him as you got a glass and filled it. Boy that only riled him up more. He liked a good game, especially when he knew for a fact that he would win.

Watching the way you gulped down the water with haste and attempted to leave, he quickly grabbed your waist and pulled you back, practically pinning you against the wall. "Where do you think your going?" It felt like fireworks were going off, especially in your nether regions. You didn't know what to do but sit there, your mouth went dry and you looked anywhere but his eyes.

Noticing your attempt to ignore him he wrapped your hair around his hand, very lightly pulling to the side. Everything stopped the second he did that, his dick twitching at the mewl you let out. You were so embarrassed that you didn't know what to do.

"Fuck, you're a kinky little slut aren't you?" His hands went to your waist, his knee slowly pressing against your center, a wolfish grin on his face as he inched towards your neck. Sucking against your collarbone, slightly nibbling, your knees buckled, only making you lean against his knee even more than before, letting out a moan that was like music to his ears. He groaned pulling back and putting his hand over your mouth.

"You better be fucking quiet, unless you want Leah to find out." You felt dizzy, your whole body was on fire and the only thing you could do was subconsciously grind against his thigh, silently begging for more friction.

"Fucking whore. If you want something then ask." He said removing his hand from your mouth. You didn't even care about your dignity at this point. You were too hot and bothered to fucking care. You needed him. Now.

"P- please.." your voice barely above a whisper, "please I need you so bad, please Judd" grinding down against his leg harder and faster. "You never know when to fucking quit do you?" He grabbed your hips lifting you up so you couldn't get anymore friction, you instantly letting out a small pathetic cry. He flips you both around, bending you over the island in the middle of the kitchen, grounding his hips into yours harshly.

You were in ecstasy, putting your head against the cold counter, scratching to find anything to hold onto. Then, you hear it before you feel it. A harsh SMACK against your ass, making you mewl instantly and clench around air. Him leaning over you, his chest to your back with him whispering in your ear, you could've came on the spot.

"If you're quiet and you behave then I'll fuck you. But if you make any noise at all.. I stop. You understand?" You nod frantically, grinding your ass back against his hard on, making him hiss and grab your hair pulling your head back. Just straight up manhandling you, and you fucking ate it up.

He pulled your shirt up over you head and almost came at the sight of your perfect tits. He kept his left hand on your back between your shoulder blades keeping you down against the counter as his other hand traveled down your hip, wrapping to the front of your stomach. Feather light caress the whole way making you whimper silently and clench around nothing, trying your best to stay silent.

Once he finally pulled down your shorts, he audibly groaned once he saw no underwear. "Fucking slut, not wearing panties, basically begging me to fuck you." Running his fingers through your folds, you sigh, finally having him touch you where you needed the most. Rubbing your clit in slow tight circles, he simultaneously rutted into you, the friction from his jeans doing wonders on your puffy cunt.

Biting your lip, you tried. You tried so hard to be quiet, especially when he was in you ear the whole time. "Look at you, actually listening like a good little whore, being so quiet even though it feels so good huh?" You were so close. So close to finishing, you wanted to so bad but, this was Judd. You were waiting for him to tell you that you could finish. "I know how close you are, it must be so hard holding back huh" he said as he started rubbing faster circles on your clit.

"Go ahead, come for me slut." You instantly fell apart, legs trembling as you silently moaned into your arm, muffling yourself as much as possible. He kept rubbing circles, helping you ride through your orgasm, but it got to be too much. Your knees started to buckle, Judd noticed immediately, wrapping his arm around your torso to keep you up. "You've been such a good toy, I think you deserve a reward." He said unbuckling his belt.

You waited for him to enter you but he never did. You layed there whining, turning around to see him looking at you, waiting for you to start begging. You couldn't take it, you felt so embarrassed but you couldn't seem to care anymore. Too run down by pleasure to notice. "Please Judd, please I need you so bad. Please fuck me, I'll be quiet I promise, just please." You were on the verge of tears.

He wasted no time thrusting into you, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head and you to bite your arm from the painful stretch. As he bottomed out, you felt a harsh slap to your ass, your back arching and making you clench around him. He cursed at the vice grip you had on him, it was almost like your pussy was sucking him in.

Giving nearly no time to adjust he started pounding into you, clearly only caring about his pleasure at this point in time. You had yours, now it was his turn. Your pelvis was smashed against the counter with each thrust, his groaning and huffing in your ear was driving you crazy, you couldn't think straight, your mind was putty. Your second orgasm was creeping up on you. Fast. Judd clearly recognized this as he started harshly rubbing your clit in tight circles. Your breath caught in your throat. "Fuck you're so fucking tight, holy f-fuuuu"

Your second orgasm crashed over you, he kept fucking into you as you nearly screamed from the pleasure, but soon the pleasure turning painful from overstimulation. "Judd please, I c-cant. S-so sens- ahh!" You cried. He didn't care. He kept fucking into you with his hand on your clit, tears started falling down your face from the sensitivity. "I know you have one more in you. I'm going to pull it out of you." This only encouraged him as he started on your neck, biting and licking and kissing. It was wayyy too much.

You were nearing your third climax when you hear the magical words from Judd. "F-fuck I'm so close! Cum with me slut." He said smacking your ass once again, moving the hand from your back to your throat, pulling you flush against him as he pounded into you from a new angle.

You came instantly, mascara running down your face, your eyes rolled back, and the most fucked out look on your face. Judd could've came a second time just from looking at you. He helped you get dressed and led you back to Leah's room. (You couldn't even walk, which only caused Judd to smirk and inflate his ego.) You passed out the second your head hit the pillow. "Goodnight slut." He smirked, closing the door and going to bed.

You were gonna be fucked if Leah ever found out.

______________________________________________

Heyyy! Lemme know if you want anything else or what your thoughts are! Sorry if it sucked lmao. Anyways have a good dayyy

[deathmetalangel]

ENVY’S MASTERLIST

this includes every character i write for and a link to their current personal master lists if i have works out for them (warnings may vary and minors dni)

this is in no particular order of character btw but my favorites will have a neat little asterisk

refer to what i don’t and do write in my separate post. also this is constantly being updated so don’t mind it much. you can always request a character if it’s not listed there’s no harm in asking :)

ADVENTURE TIME

- marceline*

- princess bubblegum

- marshal lee*

- finn

- fiona

AKAME GA KILL!

- esdeath*

- tatsumi

- akame

- kurome

AMERICAN HORROR STORY

- tate langdon*

- violet harmon

- kyle spencer

- nora montgomery

- moira o’hara

APEX LEGENDS

- bloodhound (no smut)

- wraith

- wattson

- octane

- loba

- revenant

- lifeline

- valkyrie

- crypto

AVATAR

- jake sulley*

- neytiri

- kiri

- neteyam*

- lo’ak

- aonung

- tsireya

AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER

- prince zuko*

- princess azula*

- sokka*

- katara

- aang

- suki

- yue

-jett

- ty lee

- mai

BIG MOUTH

- judd birch*

- val bilzerian*

- connie

- mona

BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA

- izuku midoriya

- keigo takami

- touya todoroki

- shoto todoroki

- katsuki bakugo

- himeko toga

- tomura shigaraki

- tamaki amajiki

CALL OF DUTY

- simon ‘ghost’ riley

- john ‘soap’ mctavish

- könig

- valeria garza*

- alejandro vargas*

COBRA KAI/ KARATE KID

- robby keene

- miguel diaz*

- johnny lawrence

- daniel larusso

- tory nichols

- eli ‘hawk’ moskowitz*

- demetri alexopoulos

DARLING IN THE FRANXX

- zero two

- hiro

- mitsuru*

- ichigo

DEATH NOTE

- misa amane

- light yagami

- l

DEMON SLAYER

- tanjiro kamado*

- nezuko kamado

- kyojuro rengoku*

- giyu tomioka*

- shinobu kocho

- sanemi shinazugawa*

- genya shinazugawa*

- zenitsu agatsuma

- inosuke hasibira*

- muichiro tokito

- mitsuri kanroji

- iguro obanai*

- tengen uzui

HAZBIN HOTEL/ HELLUVA BOSS

- alastor* (i fully respect his asexuality so no smut :3 since he’s not canon aro i still write for him)

- angel dust

- charlie morningstar

- vaggie

- loona

- millie

- moxxie

- verosika mayday

- stolas goetia

- barbie wire

- striker

- octavia goetia

- adam*

- lute

- lucifer morningstar*

- rosie

- the vees

HOCUS POCUS

- max dennison

- thackery binx

- sarah sanderson

MARVEL

- peter parker

- wanda maximoff

- pietro maximoff*

- tony stark

- natasha romanoff

- k'uk'ulkan*

- killmonger*

- miguel o’hara*

MID90S

- ray*

- fuckshit

- fourth grade*

- ruben (no smut)

- stevie (no smut)

MY BABYSITTERS A VAMPIRE

- jesse white

- sarah fox

- ethan morgan

- benny weir*

- rory keener

- erica jones

NARUTO

- naruto uzumaki

- sasuke uchiha*

- sakura haruno

- minato namikaze

- hinata hyuga

- neji hyuga

- itachi uchiha*

- shisui uchiha*

- kakashi hatake*

- haku yuki

- pain*

- konan

- sasori

- deidara

STAR WARS

- din djarin*

- anakin skywalker*

- padme amidala*

- poe dameron

- luke skywalker

- leia skywalker

- ahsoka tano*

- han solo

- bo katan kreze

THE MIGHTY DUCKS

- charlie conway*

- adam banks*

- guy germaine

- dean portman

- julie gaffney

- connie moreau

- luis mendoza

TWILIGHT

- alice cullen

- jasper hale*

- rosalie hale

- edward cullen

- jacob black*

- paul lahote

- leah clearwater

- seth clearwater*

- bella swan

- alec volturi*

- jane volturi

- victoria

SCREAM

- ethan landry*

- billy loomis

- stu macher

- sydney prescott

- tatum riley

STARDEW VALLEY

- alex*

- harvey

- haley*

- sam

- abigail

- emily

- shane

- sebastian

- elliott

- maru

- penny

- leah

[astreiants-archive]

a sapphic lit primer 🌸

also known as, an opportunity to insist you read my favourites

if you’ve ever found yourself wanting to read more sapphic books, but not quite sure where to start, let this be the post for you! if you’re looking for even more sapphic books, i hope you find something in here too.

there are a few books on here i’ve not read, that i wanted to include to raise awareness of them, more than anything. those are marked by *. as such, you will probably also see a fair few more well known books and authors missed off (but i promise i know about them!).

this is not meant to be at all exhaustive! it’s a collection of sapphic books that i’ve read and would rec, meaning there are still tons more out there. & you can find some of those more at @sapphicreadsdb​, readsrainbow (which i co-run with @tenderpotter), sapphiclitbot on twitter & my list of every sapphic book i’ve read.

as ever, this was meant to be a relatively short post. haha.

(i promise i did put links on this post, but for some reason those aren’t working on the blog page. dashboard version seems fine, i think.)

🌼  middle grade

🌻  contemporary

hurricane child by kacen callender

in the role of brie hutchens... by nicole melleby

hazel hill is gonna win this one by maggie horne

candidly cline by kathryn ormsbee

how to become a planet by nicole melleby

proud of me by sarah hagger-holt

the science of being angry by nicole melleby

middletown by sarah moon

p.s. i miss you by jen petro-roy*

almost flying by jake maia arlow*

in the key of us by mariama j lockington*

kenzie kickstarts a team by kit rosewater & sophie escabasse*

⚔️  fantasy

the strangeworlds travel agency by ld lapinski

the tea dragon society by kay o’neill*

📜  historical

tell no tales by sam maggs & kendra wells*

⁉️  mystery/thriller

goldie vance by hope larson

pepper’s rules for secret sleuthing by briana mcdonald

drew leclair gets a clue by katryn bury*

🦇  paranormal/horror

artie and the wolf moon by olivia stephens

🧪  science fiction

our sister, again by sophie cameron

🌼  young adult

🌻  contemporary

we are okay by nina lacour

this is what it feels like by rebecca barrow

the gay girl’s guide to ruining prom by siera maley

the liar’s guide to the night sky by brianna r. shrum

i kissed shara wheeler by casey mcquiston

the flywheel by erin gough

amelia westlake by erin gough

how to make a wish by ashley herring blake

taking flight by siera maley

like water by rebecca podos

don’t date rosa santos by nina moreno

all the invisible things by orlagh collins

orpheus girl by brynne rebele-henry

the henna wars by adiba jaigirdar

you should see me in a crown by leah johnson

love and other natural disasters by misa sugiura

rise to the sun by leah johnson

epically earnest by molly horan

if you still recognise me by cynthia so

truth be told by sue divin

thieves by lucie bryon

ask the passengers by a. s. king

starting from here by lisa jenn bigelow

annie on my mind by nancy garden

laura dean keeps breaking up with me by mariko tamaki

the stars and the blackness between them by junauda petrus

the last true poets of the sea by julia drake

i kissed alice by anna birch

fiebre tropical by juliana delgado lopera

melt my heart by bethany rutter

laurel everywhere by erin moynihan

every body looking by candace iloh

something certain, maybe by sara barnard

⚔️  fantasy

a dark and hollow star by ashley shuttleworth

the scapegracers by h. a. clarke

girl, serpent, thorn by melissa bashardoust

down comes the night by allison saft

engelsfors by mats strandberg & sara b. elfgren

summer of salt by katrina leno

from dust, a flame by rebecca podos

spellbook of the lost and found by moïra fowley-doyle

girls made of snow and glass by melissa bashardoust

out of the blue by sophie cameron

witch, cat & cobb by j. k. pendragon

girls of paper and fire by natasha ngan

the afterward by e. k. johnston

the never tilting world by rin chupeco

the midnight lie by marie rutkoski

the dark tide by alicia jasinska

the midnight girls by alicia jasinska

sweet & bitter magic by adrienne tooley

wench by maxine kaplan

way of the argosi by sebastian de castell

ash by malinda lo

the raven and the reindeer by t. kingfisher

the last magician by lisa maxwell

shatter the sky by rebecca kim wells

we set the dark on fire by tehlor kay mejia

queen of coin and whispers by helen corcoran

ghost wood song by erica waters

these feathered flames by alexandra overy

the bone spindle by leslie vedder

into the crooked place by alexandra christo

edie in between by laura sibson

crier’s war by nina varela

the winter duke by claire bartlett

sofi and the bone song by adrienne tooley*

girls at the edge of the world by laura brooke robson*

dauntless by elisa a. bonnin*

📜  historical

dangerous remedy by kat dunn

forgive me if i’ve told you this before by karelia stetz-waters

the pearl thief by elizabeth wein

heavy vinyl by carly usdin & nina vakueva

valiant ladies by melissa grey*

a curse of roses by diana pinguicha*

⁉️  mystery/thriller

far from you by tess sharpe

the girls i’ve been by tess sharpe

people like us by dana mele

summer’s edge by dana mele

the truth about keeping secrets by savannah brown

i hope you’re listening by tom ryan

eight pieces of silva by patrice lawrence

bad things happen here by rebecca barrow

the things we don’t see by savannah brown

the hollow inside by brooke lauren davis

throwaway girls by andrea contos

you’re next by kylie schachte

a lesson in vengeance by victoria lee

the sullivan sisters by kathryn ormsbee

cold by mariko tamaki

the killing code by ellie marney*

rules for vanishing by kate alice marshall*

🦇  paranormal/horror

the dead and the dark by courtney gould

to break a covenant by alison ames

shallow graves by kali wallace

wilder girls by rory power

afterlove by tanya byrne

house of hollow by krystal sutherland

specter inspectors by bowen mccurdy

burn down, rise up by vincent tirado

hollow by shannon watters & branden boyer-white

missing, presumed dead by emma berquist

perfectly preventable deaths by deirdre sullivan*

the dark beneath the ice by amelinda bérubé*

ghost walk by kay solo*

🧪  science fiction

joyride by jackson lanzing & collin kelly

crownchasers by rebecca coffindaffer

the good luck girls by charlotte nicole davis

cosmoknights by hannah templer

jane, unlimited by kristin cashore*

🌼  adult

🌻  contemporary

summer of the cicadas by chelsea catherine

take a hint, dani brown by talia hibbert

in the event of love by courtney kae

night tide by anna burke

beautiful world, where are you by sally rooney

spell heaven and other stories by toni mirosevich

far from home by lorelie brown

once ghosted, twice shy by alyssa cole

spindrift by anna burke

cow girl by kirsty eyre

the split by laura kay

tell me everything by laura kay

everyone in this room will someday be dead by emily austin

transcendent kingdom by yaa gyasi

the fat lady sings by jacqueline roy

conversations with friends by sally rooney

flamingo by rachel elliott

the wrong end of the telescope by rabih alameddine

a map of home by randa jarrar

mostly dead things by kristen arnett

patsy by nicole dennis-benn

little fish by casey plett

undone by bryce oakley

satisfaction guaranteed by karelia stetz-waters

tack & jibe by lilah suzanne

all at sea by cheyenne blue

i kissed a girl by jennet alexander

january embers by hildred billings

the simple answer by lily seabrooke

under the rainbow by celia laskey

the world cannot give by tara isabella burton

la bastarda by trifonia melibea obono

the one hundred years of lenni and margot by marianne cronin

all are welcome by liz parker

the romance recipe by ruby barrett

disoriental by négar djavadi*

the thirty names of night by zeyn joukhadar*

bastard out of carolina by dorothy allison*

among other things, i’ve taken up smoking by aoibheann sweeney*

marriage of a thousand lies by s. j. sindu*

honey girl by morgan rogers*

too much lip by melissa lucashenko*

delilah green doesn’t care by ashley herring blake*

the secret lives of church ladies by deesha philyaw*

the barrens by kurt & ellie johnson*

28 questions by indyana schneider*

there are more things by yara rodrigues fowler*

⚔️  fantasy

the unbroken by c. l. clark

the jasmine throne by tasha suri

wild and wicked things by francesca may

the true queen by zen cho

isola by brenden fletcher

the impossible contract by k. a. doore

foundryside by robert jackson bennett

the traitor baru cormorant by seth dickinson

the empress of salt and fortune by nghi vo

the bone shard daughter by andrea stewart

blackheart knights by laure eve

the velocity of revolution by marshall ryan maresca

the gracekeepers by kirsty logan

in the vanishers’ palace by aliette de bodard

the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon

thorn by anna burke

penhallow amid passing things by iona datt sharma

sing the four quarters by tanya huff

city of lies by sam hawke

moontangled by stephanie burgis

burning roses by s. l. huang

a master of djinn by p. djèlí clark

ashes of the sun by django wexler

fireheart tiger by aliette de bodard

bestiary by k-ming chang

the black coast by mike brooks

night flowers shirking from the light of the sun by li xing

the councillor by e. j. beaton

silverglass by j. f. rivkin

water horse by melissa scott

high times in the low parliament by kelly robson

into the broken lands by tanya huff

the fire opal mechanism by fran wilde

among thieves by m. j. kuhn

the factory witches of lowell by c. s. malerich

the forever sea by joshua phillip johnson

the final strife by saara el-arifi

brother red by adrian selby

the winged histories by sofia samatar

the vanished queen by lisbeth campbell*

the northern girl by elizabeth a. lynn*

the bladed faith by david dalglish*

the worthy by anna k. moss*

📜  historical

the wicked cometh by laura carlin

the pull of the stars by emma donoghue

she who became the sun by shelley parker-chan

infamous by lex croucher

devotion by hannah kent

under the udala trees by chinelo okparanta

after the wedding by courtney milan

heathen by natasha alterici

mrs martin’s incomparable adventure by courtney milan

the night watch by sarah waters

tell it to the bees by fiona shaw

kept animals by kate milliken

a lady’s desire by lily maxton

the ophelia girls by jane healey

that green eyed girl by julie owen moylan

the perks of loving a wallflower by erica ridley

the companion by e. e. ottoman

her countess to cherish by jane walsh

paris, 7a.m. by liza wieland*

mademoiselle revolution by zoe sivak*

dark earth by rebecca stott*

⁉️  mystery/thriller

dirt town by hayley scrivenor

the lighthouse by fran dorricott

after the eclipse by fran dorricott

the final child by fran dorricott

proper english by k. j. charles

the last place you look by kristen lepionka

the better liar by tanen jones

fortune favors the dead by stephen spotswood

real easy by marie rutkoski

the best bad things by katrina carrasco

the case of the good-for-nothing girlfriend by mabel maney

the kill club by wendy heard

bury the lede by gaby dunn

beloved poison by e. s. thomson

the lady upstairs by halley sutton

ash mountain by helen fitzgerald

last call at the nightingale by katharine schellman

return to blackwater house by vikki patis

payback by charlotte mills*

a reason to kill by eve zaremba*

the heard by andrea bartz*

snare by lilja sigurðardóttir*

amateur city by katherine v. forrest*

the savage kind by john copenhaver*

the dime by kathleen kent*

the verifiers by jane pek*

🦇  paranormal/horror

abbott by saladin ahmed

the animals at lockwood manor by jane healey

black water sister by zen cho

hearts in the hard ground by g. v. anderson

they drown our daughters by katrina monroe

meddling kids by edgar cantero

yellow jessamine by caitlin starling

our wives under the sea by julia armfield

briefly, a delicious life by nell stevens

dead woman’s pond by elle e. ire

tripping arcadia by kit mayquist*

🧪  science fiction

a memory called empire by arkady martine

this is how you lose the time war by max gladstone & amal el-mohtar

the unspoken name by a. k. larkwood

the space between worlds by micaiah johnson

dead space by kali wallace

the quantum thief by hannu rajaniemi

ninefox gambit by yoon ha lee

ancillary justice by ann leckie

motor crush by brenden fletcher & cameron stewart

unconquerable sun by kate elliott

compass rose by anna burke

a big ship at the end of the universe by alex white

the light brigade by kameron hurley

empress of forever by max gladstone

the doors of eden by adrian tchaikovsky

seven of infinities by aliette de bodard

hard reboot by django wexler

last exit by max gladstone

sisters of the vast black by lina rather

gods, monsters, and the lucky peach by kelly robson

so happy for you by celia laskey

battle of the linguist mages by scotto moore

bluebird by ciel pierlot

an ancient peace by tanya huff

god’s war by kameron hurley*

barbary station by r. e. stearns*

this will kill that by danielle l. roux*

valkyrie by meg ludwa*

night sky mine by melissa scott*

the stars undying by emery robin*

🌼  poetry

if not, winter by sappho, trans. by anne carson

floating, brilliant, gone by franny choi

evohe by cristina peri rossi

bestiary by donika kelly

soft science by franny choi

rummage by ife-chudeni a. oputa

the world keeps ending and the world goes on by franny choi

bone by yrsa daley-ward

dream work by mary oliver

living as a lesbian by cheryl clarke*

womanslaughter by pat parker*

oral tradition by jewelle l. gómez*

the black unicorn by audre lorde*

hermetic definition by h.d.*

[melloween-candie]

Would he Cheat?

Cheater? Judd Birch x Reader Headcanon

Warning! Cussing, heartbreak, mentions of anger issues, small mention of forced kiss

Word Count: 371

Big Mouth Masterlist

Fandom Masterlist

Okay, first off- WHY ARE YOU READING THIS!

YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER 😭😭😭

But if I must spell it out-

N-O

NO

THIS BOY

Put in the ✨EFFORT✨ into making a romantic dinner for his gurl!!

He SPENT his ENTIRE DAY making Valentine's Day PeRfEcT!

Like he knew what he was doing when he was training those raccoons- 👀

Like, to me, he wouldn't put in that kind of effort into a relationship if he was going to cheat.

Besides, Judd just isn't that kind of as*hole.

Like, I feel like Judd just wouldn't punch a girl.

If anything- he'd just mess with their stuff if he's pissed (Not including Leah cause, we all know what he did to her hair 😂)

Also, he'd think that the whole concept of cheating on your spouse is just stupid and that he calls the cheaters 'pu*ssies' for not going to their spouse and just admitting to them about their feelings.

Like, Judd is very blunt about everything.

If he doesn't have feelings for you anymore, he'd just say it and leave.

This is probably gonna hurt- but I don't think he'd care about being friends with you.

Like, Judd doesn't have a lot of friends to begin with. (He probably has a LOT of connections tho-)

And even if he did- He didn't. 💀

Like maybe someone was flirting with him and just kissed him out of nowhere and he's just like, "What the FU*K?! I told you already! I have a B/G-Friend!"

But if you didn't believe him and break up with him- He'd be upset but wouldn't show it.

He'd try to convince you a few more times but once your out of that door- it's officially over. 😔

He'd probably be more angry than sad because of how it happened and just isolate himself into the woods more than normal.

He'd also throw his anger at trees and anything else he could hit with a knife...

Overall, Judd is just a pretty chill boyfriend- who surprisingly doesn't show a lot of red flags 😳

Like, we all know, he says he doesn't care, but, in truth, he really does. (LOL)

[dykeobsidianblock]

Characters I personally write for

These are the characters I personally write for, if you don't see a character on this list than it means I either dont write for them or forgot to add them to this list. If youre unsure than ask whether or I write for them

Red means I only write romantic x reader for them, Blue means I only write platonic/familial x reader for them, Green means I only write sexual x reader for them and Pink means I write romantic, sexual and platonic/familial x reader for them

Under the cut since it ended up getting longer than I expected

The Arcana:

Lucio

Muriel

Portia

Nadia

Volta

Vlastomil

Nafizah

Nahara

Natiqa

The Muppets*

The Electric Mayhem (Dr Teeth, Lips, Floyd Pepper, Janice, Zoot and Animal)

Walter

Miss Piggy

Denise

Constantine

Rowlf

Clifford

*I only write for human versions of the Muppets

Empires SMP (Both s1 and s2):

Scott

Jimmy

Pixl

Lizzie

Pearl

Katherine

Shubble

Gem

Sausage

Oli

False

Joey

Life Series:

Grian

Scar

Bigb

Ren

Jimmy

Mumbo

Lizzie

Cleo

Martyn

Pearl

Scott

Impulse

Tango

Origins SMP:

Scott

Sparklez

Create SMP:

Keralis

Scar

Tango

Zedaph

Witchcraft SMP:

Joey

Scott

Cleo

Shubble

Hermitcraft:

Grian

Scar

Mumbo

Xisuma

Keralis

Ren

Renbob

Hypno

Doc

Gem

Wels

False

Stress

Pearl

Cleo

Zedaph

Wormman

Impulse

Tango

Pirates SMP:

Sausage

Martyn

Oli

Pokemon:

Champion Cynthia

Elite 4 Hassel

Champion Alder

Commander Kamado

Team Rocket Jessie

Team Rocket James

Trial Captain Kiawe

Team Aqua Archie

Team Magma Maxie

Professor Kukui

Champion Steven Stone

Gym Leader Iono

Gym Leader Kofu

Gym Leader Katy

Gym Leader Lt. Surge

Professor Birch

Professor Rowan

Subway Master Ingo

Subway Master Emmett

Elite 4 Marshal

Elite 4 Siebold

Elite 4 Drasna

Elite 4 Malva

Elite 4 Wikstrom

Champion Diantha

Gym Leader Wulfric

Aether Foundation Wicke

Team Skull Guzma

Ultra Recon Dulse

Ultra Recon Zossie

Gym Leader Milo

Champion Leon

Gym Leader Raihan

Gym Leader Melony

(Former) Champion Peony

Gym Leader Nessa

Gym Leader Kabu

Galaxy Clan Cyllene

Professor Laventon

Diamond Clan Iscan

Diamond Clan Adaman

Pearl Clan Palina

Rival Arven

Rival Nemona

Gym Leader Ryme

Teacher Tyme

Professor Sada

Teacher Raifort

Teacher Saguaro

Stardew Valley:

Elliott

Clint

Gunther

M. Rasmodius

Marnie

Haley

Maru

Demetrius

Leah

Seven Deadly Sins:

King

Diane

Escanor

Gilthunder

Howzer

Gowther

Jericho

Guila

Griamore

Naruto:

Kakashi

Sakura

Naruto

Sasuke

Gai

Rock Lee

Tenten

Kankuro

Choji

Obey Me:

Asmodeus

Lucifer

Leviathan

Luke

Simeon

Diavolo

Beelzebub

Barbatos

[vampirevatican]

can we talk about judd? i just wanna talk about judd. visiting the birch house for your boyfriend and/or friend?? yes.

he does scare you but it's not intentional. you'd show up to the birch household because leah invited you or you are miraculously friends with him and after all of the pleasantries you hear his voice echoing from somewhere

on occasion you can pinpoint where his voice is coming from and you just either look up at a vent or knock on that specific wall

riding in his van? you'd think it's a death wish but he actually makes you put on your seatbelt before he takes off. probably even puts his arm out infront of you when he makes a hard stop

with that said there's so much more to him than just a man that wants to watch the world burn, not like he doesn't want that but there's more.

he's a whole lot sweeter to you because I mean, you're his "bitch" and yes he'd call you names and you do the same back

the relationship is very chill and playful but on occasion he's a true romantic

his love language is quality time and physical touch, high-key physical touch though he can NOT keep his hands off of you, especially infront of anyone who makes him a bit jealous

carrying the torch and going off canon, nick and his friends, or the kids of the cast? you practically treat missy, jessie and lola like they're your own daughters as for nick, andrew and jay? it'd be a cold day in hell before Judd just leaves you with those weirdos.

granted jay is kinda taken under his wing at vocational school so he trusts his werid little bro code bs but as for that perv andrew and his jackass brother? he has eyes and ears everywhere.

nick: your girlfriend is coming over?

andrew: judd has a girlfriend?

judd: yes, and you shitheads better not do anything to make her uncomfortable.

jay: rule #1 of the bro code, never eye another bros girl.

judd: yeah, whatever

ofc he doesn't think that you like them, or see them as competition. he just doesn't want you to be uncomfortable

however you find this adorable and sometimes creepy, it's why he looks out for you when they're at the house

nick? adorable, you know he has a crush on you but he's literally a child and a baby so you pick on him.

you: little baby man.

judd: ha, you're a little baby.

nick: no im not!

you: baby baby baby man.

andrew... gross, iconic and silly at times but just straight up weird, what you respect though is his self awareness

on occasion you try to help the duo be normal and get girls in their age range but it's rly difficult with nick because he's such a cocky asshole

his parents? so nice and welcoming, there was a few times that elliot walked in on you two hanging out and of course judd was urging him to, "get the fuck out."

ngl though diane and elliot see how much light you bring into judd's life and they couldn't be more grateful

[just-another-author-i-guess]

Hey can I request something with judd birch I don't really have a prompt can you just make something fluffy and cute I need some soft love in my life lol

I literally had a dream about this last night, so here you go lol sorry it’s not like super soft, it’s just school hc’s

Tags: gn! Reader, kinda?, leaning towards fem, mentions of s e x 🫣, and alcohol, Judd’s driving, school should be an actual warning tbh

Summary: the one day a month when Judd show’s up to school.

Author’s note: I skipped my math class to write this,, 🤷🏻‍♀️ yk you gotta think like your characters when you write about them lmfao

Surviving a day in school with Judd

Word count; 1,1K

so, let’s say your boyfriend has one of those rare days where he decides to actually show up to school

He’s so, so tired in the morning

I’m talking slow blinking, yawning and constantly leaning his forehead on stuff to try and catch a quick nap in class or while standing up

He’s also constantly complaining, acts like it’s your fault he has to be there

He will be following you around the entire time too

No one will talk to you willingly the whole day because Judd is just always standing broodingly behind you

You’re getting something from your locker? Judd is standing there, scowling and leaning against the lockers besides yours so no one except you can get to their stuff

You’re talking to your friends? Judd will still just stand there a bit behind you, glaring at your friends or using his whole body weight to lean on you

Even if you’re talking to his friends, he’s not that talkative, he prefers just to let you lead the conversation

He does actually have those, friends I mean, like people he can hang out with if you’re not available, or people who host parties

You’re definitely getting initiated into his friend group as soon as you start dating, they’re all kinda like him anyways so you’d fit right in lol

But omg he’s so clingy at school

He just misses you between classes, yk? ),:

After the first classes, he’ll be more awake

You can’t tell if that’s good or bad tbh

It’s not like he actively goes out of his way to disturb classes or anything, but he’s definitely not an ideal student either

Like, he’s not one of those annoying kids who purposely talk really loudly or throw stuff or whatever

but he will sit with his feet up on his desk if he feels like it, doesn’t respond when he gets called on, will call the teacher a colourful variety of curse words and ends up getting kicked out and send to the office

Maybe just don’t call on him and he won’t insult you? 🤷🏻‍♀️

(He’s also literally the worst partner for assignments ever)

That’s in his own classes at least,, let’s say you share a PE class with him and it will very quickly turn into “hey let’s skip and go fuck in the bathroom”

The days were Judd shows up to school is definitely the days you get in trouble/ and/ or detention

Okay but that’s another thing, the other half of the day he will just show up outside of your classes

Either because he got kicked out of his or he has a break or something, he’ll just stand outside and wait for you to come out so he can drag you somewhere and yk,, get all the horny out of his system

Maury also straight up refuses to deal with Judd’s school, as soon as he enters he’s doing his best to convince Judd to find you and have sex or something instead

Omg,, the many, many, poor people you’ve traumatised in the school bathroom or parking lot

(He will also fuck you in his car in front of the school lmfao)

You usually eat lunch with Leah or your respective group of friends, but when Judd’s there you’ll eat with him

(You probably have to pay for his lunch🧍🏻)

Sometimes, though, he’ll drive you two out to get McDonald’s or something

Leah will sit with you at lunch too, so she can bully Judd for showing up or rant to him about something or whatever

Also if anyone’s bothering her, Judd is the best way for her to get out of talking to them

After lunch, you have a class with Leah so he’s once again left to his own devices

He reluctantly goes to his own class because he doesn’t have anything else to do lol

Unless it’s a teacher that’s really really nice, he gets kicked out again

The man literally spends the entire school day just roaming around because he keeps getting send to the office lmfao

He would probably try to get into the school’s vents as well? He’ll crawl over to where your class is and bother you by throwing paper or something through the vent

You’re just sitting in class, and suddenly a bunch of small paper scraps falls from the ceiling and lands in your hair

You look up, only to see your boyfriend grinning and gesturing with his head for you to leave the room

Leah sees it too and has to do her best not to burst out laughing 🫣

Surprisingly, he shows up to after school detention

Definitely not because you dragged him there and told him it was his fault for getting you roped into it as well—

You two sit in the back, and you try to do your homework while Judd naps

Sometimes you’ll share headphones or Judd will steal some of your notebook paper and draw on it

Judd is super distracting literally by just existing, he’s the loudest quiet person ever if that makes sense

When you’re finally out of school, Judd is by default expecting yet another rendezvous in the back of his van

It’s actually kinda fascinating how much the guy can go in just one day—

But anyways, he’ll drive you home or to his house or wherever you wanna go

Sometimes you come with him to pick up Nick from school

Okay so here’s one of Judd’s secrets

He can actually drive like a normal person 😮

I mean, sure he’s always a bit above the speed limit and a bit too close to hitting ppl walking close to the road, but he almost only drives like a race car driver when Nick’s in the car

Because he knows Nick hates it lol

You would have gotten used to it by now, because you know he isn’t actually gonna hit someone

But Nick doesn’t know that

Driving really, really fast is probably also a way for Judd to destress or wind down after a long, and boring, school day

He’ll pass the fuck out when he gets home from school

Well, he’ll knock back half a Jack daniels and raid the fridge and then pass out

You’re more than welcome to anything in the birches fridge yourself, so if you’re feeling particularly nice pls make him something sustainable

His idea of a proper meal is literally a bag of chips— I’m so stressed

Anyways, congrats. You made it through a whole school day with Judd lol

Don’t expect him to show up again tomorrow, though 🤷🏻‍♀️

I love doing Judd headcannons 🤭🤭

Tags: @dlfvrr , @bxbyyyjocelyn

[the-crystal-one]

Big Mouth x Black Reader

(Remember everyone had a big mouth phase...no...just me....fine)

Hello my name is Shalene. “And I’m Connie!” Oh yeah and this is my hormone monstress Connie. Yeah, “I’ve been with Shalene since she was 10, early bloomer, now look at 'er Big Tits, Fat ass and a wet pu-" YOU may not know me but you might know of my little sister Missy.She’s a bit much sometimes but I love her she’s awesome! Anyway I’m dating this guy Judd Birch “Total hottie, he gotta big dick too.”aaaaaand he’s actually really chill but for the past week something has been off. Every time I go over to his house he just takes me up to his room and we never come out. It’s not that I don’t like it the thing is I feel like he’s trying to distance me from his family. "And we ain’t no fuckin secret!” We’ve gotten the past the parent stage so I don’t understand what the problem is. 🎵 You’re either with me or-(Doomed)- Hug me!-🎵 Oh Judd is calling. “Heeeeey Judd~”

He chuckles and clears his throat. “What’s up hot stuff?~” “Ooooh are we gonna do sexy shit on the phone? I have my phone dildo…somewhere.” ‘Connie! Shhhhhhh.’ “Hehe Nothing much I was just laying down what’s with you?~” “Oh not much you wanna come over for dinner?~”

“Judd do you mean like sit at the table or we stay there for two minutes and then go to your room?”

I can feel him roll his eyes through the phone. “Yesh but you got to admit…he does look hot while doing it.” ‘…..Okay yes you do have a point.’

“Yeah babe I mean sit at the shitty table.”

I smile widely. “Well then hell yeah! I’m on my way.”

“Alright then see you later cute ass~” “You can fuck me in mine.”

I chuckle and roll my eyes. “Shut up Judd.~” 

I hang up the phone and get ready to go, putting a slip knot crop top on and some rip jeans. I tell my parents I’m going and get the use protection talk then dip! “Yeah! Protection Shows Weakness!”

———15 minutes later———

I knock on the door and wait for someone to open it. Behind it I can hear people bustling around sort of like they were arguing to get to the door first. 

“The fuck are they doing? *gasp* They’re havin an orgy and they wanted you to come!” ‘Eeeeeeeew Connie that’s gross.’

Finally Judd while the door open and pulls me inside with a kiss. “Woooooo we gon' get down in the livin room!”

“Oh wow Judd real mature.” says while rolling his eyes

Judd let me go and flicks him off hit him causing me to smack his hand. “Hey Nicky, sorry about that."

He blushes and leans against the couch promptly falling, then quickly standing back up. “O-oh yeah it’s cool man-girl-woman.” Connie looks at Nick, “Ya know I think he still has a crush on you.”

I chuckle and shake my head. Judd points a finger in Nick's face. “Hey loser stop being so fucking weird.” I nudge him in the side. “Hey Judd don’t be an ass.”

He scoffs and drags me to the table were his parents are.

“Hello Mr.Birch, Mrs.Birch.” 

“Hey there Shalene, so sweet of you to join us for dinner. and I told you, Call me Elliot!” Mrs. Birch looked at him then back to me. “Hello honey, how are your parents?”

——5 minutes of small talk then dinner—

“Hey Judd can you pass the salad dressing you fucking slut?”

“How about the balsamic bitch?”

Leah snorts and covers her mouth.

I try to keep my food in my mouth while laughing. Connie is rolling around on the floor and cackling like a hyena.

“Nicky can we not slut shame at the table?”

Then Nick goes into this whole thing about how Judd was hooking up with one of the girls who was his friend but he alsoooo likes,Jesse.

I look at Judd then he looks at me almost foaming from the mouth.

“Ya know we when get past this, he’s gonna wanna fuck baby.”‘Oh I’m aware and I’ve come to terms with that’

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Nick then went to talk about how he likes Jesse and he found  his shirt under Jesse’s pillow.

Judd stands up and grabs my hands.

“Didn’t fuck your friend that’s gross.”

He walks me up to his room and locks the door. I take my shoes off and smile at him. 

“Judd Birch I thought I knew you.” I flop on the bed and lay on my back.

Connie cheers happily and disappears to wherever she goes.

Judd takes his shirt off and hovers over me.

“Oh shut the hell up.”

He kisses me while rubbing his hands up and down my hips. I put my hands on his shoulders and slip my tongue into his mouth. He grunts softly and plays with my waistband, asking for permission. I nod my head and he slides my pants off. 

“Baby,I told you you don’t have to ask.”

Judd looks up at me as he slides my panties off and climbs back on top of me,lightly gripping my neck.

“I know I just have manners, I’m not an animal.”

I giggle and lean up whispering into his ear. “Could’ve fooled me.” Judd growls deeply and kisses me with force. “Babe, you don't know how long I've been waiting for you to come over again~" I giggle and touch his cheek. "You mean since yesterday JuJu?" He attacked my neck, definitely leaving hickies. "A-ah, you're gonna leave a mark~" He began rubbing me through my underwear. "I know, I intend to do that now shut it."

He slips his cold, long fingers into my black boyshorts and starts toying with my clit. My back arches off of his bed and I aimlessly nod my head. "Right there baby~" He kissed me, probably to shut me up. His fingers went from my clit to my soaking wet hole and he pumped them, in and out at an antagonizingly slow pace. "J-juuuudd, please~" He cocked his head to the side like he didn't know what I was talking about. "What's wrong?" "F-faster, I need it~" He nodded his head and the thrust of his fingers became faster. "Yes fuck~!" I grabbed a pillow to put over my face so the rest of the Birch's didn't think I was losing my shit...well I already am but that's not the point. He moved his body lover and started sucking on my clit. My head nodded faster and my hips bucked into his face. "S-so close baby, don't stop~!" Lucky for me Judd was a good listener and gave me exactly what I wanted. "Sh-shit!" My body felt as if it was floating on clouds and fireworks were going off back to back. I slowly came down from this high and ran my fingers through his hair. "G-god I love you so much." I looked down at him and smiled. He kissed my thighs and nodded his head. "I love you too beautiful."

A/N: I...am not sorry at all😭 Wheeeew I'm happy I actually finished this.