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aurae-rori · 15 days

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DR RATIO ANALYSIS

SPOILERS FOR 2.1 CONTENT!

Now, you might be saying - "Aurae, Oh No! and Are You Satisfied? are much too basic songs to analyze Dr. Ratio to! Just because he's a scholar doesn't mean that he has academic trauma!" WRONG! Before we start, I have been researching psychology for approximately six years and I plan to go into it professionally. HOWEVER, that said, I am NOT a professional (YET. One day I will be. Yay for Aurae!) so understand that everything I come to conclusions about has been analyzed with some personal judgement, personal interpretations, and this is just what I have concluded with the info that I have deconstructed from his brain. If you disagree, that's fine!

I will be pulling from my own experiences with being a "golden" and "gifted" child, as well as the experiences I've had speaking to other people who were those. I will also be pulling from my experiences of researching and seeing how people with superiority complexes work, as well as diving into how those work (from what I've seen, as well as how they conceal a lack of self-esteem).

OKAY, NOW THAT THAT LONG AHH DISCLAIMER IS OVER, ALLOW ME TO WORK MY PSYCH ENJOYER MAGIC! Let's deconstruct Dr. Ratio like a lego toy.

Let's start off with how Dr. Ratio presents himself. When you first meet him, he seems like a haughty, arrogant asshole. He likes to PRESENT himself as a stoic, superior scholar who is purely in it to win it, and I got total "*stares down at your tiny body and laughs at how you lack knowledge*" vibes at the very start, due to how he goes around calling people idiots all the time. However, he DOES lose the idgaf war, and we can very quickly see that he does care for other people, even if in his own, strange way. Dr Ratio presentation: An asshole. The reality?

His entire character is based around the idea of helping the masses. He wishes to spread knowledge through the cosmos and give people who didn't have access to it, access. He's a harsh teacher, and calling people 'idiots' is NOT the way to motivate them, but he's doing his best™.

Actually, no, I'm going to go full psych into this. Okay, so here starts the Dr. Ratio and my FATHER COMPARISONS. My father is a professor and he is often called a harsh grader by his students. However, I've spoken to him multiple times because I was curious - why is he so harsh and diligent with his grading system? The answer is - he wants them to actually learn. When he's grading, he gives them harsh marks because he wants them to know exactly where they messed up, and he's always willing to stay after hours to help students understand where they can't. My father also is an enjoyer of knowledge, and for as long as I've remembered, he has prioritized teaching me how to think critically. He wants me to be able to think for myself - and I think that's what Dr. Ratio wants, too. He wants for his students to be able to fully comprehend and absorb the information that he teaches, and although his methods are harsh, he genuinely wants to help. My father's like this too - he hates students that waste his time or aren't here because their hearts are in it. Dr. Ratio hates people who aren't taking their education seriously because knowledge is important. Knowledge is a tool, and to disregard it completely is lowkey kind of insulting - especially when there are people who weren't privileged enough to actually get it, so this isn't something that you should take for granted. Dr. Ratio despises people who take knowledge for granted.

Also, I disagree with the claims that say that Dr. Ratio hates the genius society. He shows open respect for them in his voice lines. Just check them if you need proof. Also, I'll delve into the idea of Aeons and recognition later.

Now that we’ve established that Dr. Ratio kins my dad, let’s let's tackle the 'stoic' allegations. He is LOSING the idgaf war. Like, really badly. He has a temper of a thousand suns and snaps at people frequently, despite his 'impassive' face, his tone holds a LOT of emotion. He seems to feel very deeply and has a shit ton of empathy for others - why else would he be dedicating his entire career to helping others? Of course, he doesn't express this in 'typical' ways of being openly kind - but it doesn't mean that he doesn't care for other people. In fact, he seems to be pretty good at putting himself in the shoes of others and understanding them - expressed in the 2.1 quest where he tells Aventurine to tell him if he can't hold on any longer. Also, he loses the IDGAF war because he is actively trying to help people who want to learn and trying to spread logic and knowledge across the cosmos to those who didn't have it before. Would a man who didn't GAF do that? No!

Now that we've covered his view on knowledge and the way that he presents himself, let's turn to the way that he SEES himself. Now, this is where we get into the nitty gritty of gifted child trauma & academic trauma as well as crippling expectations. It's literally explicitly said in his character stories that he sees himself as mediocre, and it's canon that he doesn't have a good view of himself. His self-esteem is down in the fucking trenches along with my sanity as I write this analysis. The reality is - being called a genius your whole life doesn't really make you feel better about yourself. I'd know. I was. In fact, it makes you feel fucking worse when you can't live up to an expectation. We all fail in life. It's part of being human. But when you're held to such high standards - idolized for your knowledge and the way that you're 'gifted' - the crash comes really fucking hard. Failure is inevitable, and when people who are held on that pedestal experience it, they take it really bad.

The reality is that nobody - not even geniuses - are perfect, but you grow up believing that you are. Then, when you fail for the first time, it all comes tumbling down. The first time I came home with a bad grade was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. I hadn't studied because I was arrogant and I thought that I was smart enough to pass without putting any extra effort into it - because I was a 'gifted' child, right? I should've been able to do it without studying like the other kids. And that's the thing with gifted children – you grow reliant on that title. You cling onto it for dear life for motivation, as well as self-perception. Little by little, the person you are falls apart as you slave away to the perception other people have of you. I think basically every gifted child that I've ever spoken to is a victim of this – and of course, you can heal from this mindset - but it's a hard one to shake.

Ratio's way of presenting himself as being a 'genius' and 'arrogant' also seems to contradict the way that he calls himself 'mundane' at the same time. However, these are two mindsets that can coexist. One part of you believes that you are a genius and that you are perfect, while the other part is crumbling and calling yourself good-for-nothing every time you make a mistake. It's a tiring cycle to live in. This usually leads to people shutting themselves out and closing themselves off after living like that, pushing back your own feelings in favour of being the perfect child. However, we don't know the exact details of Dr. Ratio's childhood, but we can infer that he was held to a pedestal, and this is a very harmful mindset for a child to have.

His superiority complex comes both from how other people view him, but it's a way to cope with his crippling lack of self-esteem. I'm sorry my guy. Also helping others probably helps him feel like he's worth something and makes him feel better because he bases his entire worth off of what he can do and how he can help others. However, this is just my personal interpretation backed by what I have already deconstructed.

In general, this is an easy way to crush self-esteem. You spend your whole life working to meet the image of what other people think you are. In fact, another reason why Dr. Ratio might be so harsh is because that’s the kind of attitude he holds towards himself when conducting research – he’s as hard on himself as he is to others. You end up hating the idea of failure, instead of seeing it as it should be - a way to improve and grow. Actually, I think this could be a reason that he went out of his way to break that illusion of 'worshipping geniuses' in the Space Station. Maybe some sort of childhood connection? Personal connection? In his endeavour to spread more knowledge and make people think for themselves and not blindly follow geniuses, to wake them up and let them think for themselves - maybe, somewhere, in there, he's helping that little child that was almost dehumanized for his intelligence. TLDR: Conflicting mindsets due to trauma, brain vs heart almost - his knowledge that he is a genius vs the crippling lack of his self worth.

Now that we've established Dr. Ratio's self worth, let's take a look at the impact Aeons had on him. Nous, the Aeon of Knowledge itself. I think in a world where the Gods are real, tangible beings that you can reach out and talk to - it makes sense that someone with high ambition and someone who's been called a genius his whole life would seek the confirmation of Nous. When you're a man of knowledge, and you've spent your whole life working with it, being praised for it – it feels natural to look for a god to look down upon you and bless you, right? The Genius Society – it should house him, because he is a genius as well, right? Imagine this – you have been called a genius your whole life, held to that kind of pedestal for so long, and now you wait for the recognition of the Gods. Because if you truly are a genius – then surely, a higher being will recognize your intelligence, right?

The invitation never comes.

And then, comes the doubt.

What if I'm really not a genius? What if everything I've worked for is a lie? Aeons are beings that are 'absolute'. If the god of Knowledge won't accept you or even cast a glance upon you, does that mean that everything was wrong. Gods see more than humans, after all. Gods know more than humans - and that spiral... I think you can see if. (If you don't let me know. I will ramble about how a failure like that can make you spiral down into a worse mindset).

However, the reason why Ratio was never invited to the Genius Society is simple. It’s because he LOSES THE IDGAF WAR. Now, if we look at all the people we know who are in the Genius Society - we find one thing in common. They’re in it to win it for themselves. They don’t help others using the knowledge that they’ve gotten - they use it to pursue shit for themselves. The people of the Genius Society are inherently self-serving. They WIN the idgaf war. Ratio LOSES. Do we see now?

Ratio’s empathy is the reason why he wasn’t let in. He is too human. Nous is a computer. Herta is detached from people. Ruan Mei is literally looking at life as test subjects. Screwllum is a robot.

OUR DOCTOR MAN LOST THE IDGAF WAR, BECAUSE HE IS HUMAN AND FEELS FOR OTHERS!!!

Also, it’s a plausible theory that Nous’s definition of ‘genius’ is different from the human definition of ‘genius’ – it’s a computer, after all. Who knows what’s going on in that code head of its.

However, we still love you Ratio. Never stop losing the IDGAF war.

TLDR: Nous is a computer. It is also in it to win it. It is also self serving. It gazes upon the hoes who are here to win it for themselves. Ratio is busy serving the masses and cooking knowledge in his frying pan. To it, there is no logical reason to be doing this. Therefore, no reason to invite this guy to the Genius Society.

Ratio’s gifted child trauma says otherwise. He wants in. Why wouldn’t he? He’s been working his whole life as a genius.

Nous is like… nah bro, you care too much. Ratio is like, ‘what the fuck?’ And then the AEON OF KNOWLEDGE GOES FOR THE MILK.

Okay, now, quick shoutout to Ratio wanting to help others. He is just like me fr. SO BASICALLY, RECAP OF EVERYTHING I JUST SAID:

Ratio LOSES the idgaf war because he cares about other people. Spent his whole life as the golden egg, and then turns to the gods for recognition because of the inherent trauma of being a child genius. He goes, "hey bro, can you confirm that I am in fact a genius?" and Nous goes, "no, you are too busy cheffing for the masses." Ratio goes, "what the fuck?" and then we collectively realize his attitude comes from blocking off his feelings (while failing miserably), being salty about not being recognized, being put on a pedestal for his whole life, and his crippling depression *cough* lack of self worth *cough*.

Oh, and the "I will never be enough" thought train probably hits him every single day. He is not enough to be recognized by a God. Gods are superior to humans. Maybe nothing has worth after all. Hey, that's Nihility! Hi IX, let's hear what you have to say.

*muffled ix noises*

I see, I see.

The consensus is: HE'S TRAUMATIZED BY EXPECTATIONS! HE WILL PROBABLY SUFFER FROM BURNT OUT GIFTED CHILD IF HE HAS NOT ALREADY!

Okay, now, before I delve into song lyrics (and I KNOW this has been long, just bear with me) I want to talk a little bit (read: a lot) about his relationship with Aventurine. We all know that he cares about Aventurine in his own way. But I want to pull in another idea that I didn’t cover before:

Ratio’s fucking emotional constipation.

Basically, the reason why he has trouble connecting with others is because he was most likely alienated by others as a symptom of being called a genius and being put on a pedestal. This makes him seem unapproachable to his peers, most likely, and therefore, as a result, doesn’t know how to properly connect with others. This just makes his way of presenting affection and care to others even more challenging – because he just doesn’t know how to do it in a healthy and clear way. Academic trauma causing emotional problems, because he’s probably a little bit out of touch with his own. Processing? No! Research. Also, this is very important for understanding Ratio’s character in my opinion, because he’s just a little guy who doesn’t know how to articulate. Maybe he’s got a touch of the ‘tism. Tism mutuals, do we agree or disagree?

However, in comes Aventurine. Love Aventurine, but they are both emotionally constipated. Aventurine displays his affection in ways that Ratio probably only catches after re-analyzing their time together about five times. He’s also a very closed off individual – but Ratio knows this. A cute thing is that Ratio is patient where he needs to be, even if he’s generally a pretty hot-headed guy, and I’m like… bro… that letter… “I wish you the best of luck”... I will wait for you…. GAY ASS MAN…

Sorry the Aventio demons took over. Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that they both have nonverbal communication with one another that they clearly decipher and Ratio obviously cares for him (he came back and almost jeopardized the plan just for the sake of his ‘coworker’... okay gayboy…) and they just have such a neat little dynamic… Aventurine lets Dr. Ratio do his thing… understands his emotional alienation to a degree…. they’re so neat….

Okay, Aventurine segment over. NOW, FINALLY, WE CAN GET TO THE SONG LYRICS!!! YAY!!!! We all cheered!!!

We are going to be here for two more amber eras, because I realized I actually want to analyze every single lyric from both of these songs. Brace yourself for like, 2k more words. Help.

I think it’s only proper that we start off with ‘Oh No!’ the song that has haunted me since my childhood.

“Don’t do love, don’t do friends

I’m only after success

Don’t need a relationship

I’ll never soften my grip”

Remember when I mentioned that alienation was a big part of Ratio lore? Yeah, that manifests itself in this. When you spend your entire life chasing after knowledge and being held to that standard of untouchable genius, it makes sense that you couldn’t connect with others and that you turn your gaze only to success. Therefore, relationships that are interpersonal lose meaning for a bit – you’re just looking for answers and ways to help them, not connect with them. Also, this is what he wants to do – so he’s never going to pass down an opportunity to better himself or to help someone else.

“Don’t want cash, don’t want card

Want it fast, want it hard

Don’t need money, don’t need fame

I just want to make a change

I just wanna change, I just wanna change”

This is directly alluding to his reasonings for distributing knowledge across the cosmos. Was he based on this song? Maybe he was. He’s not looking for money or fame, his ultimate goal is actually pretty selfless – to bring knowledge and give people the tools they need to think for themselves. He just wants to make a change – he just wants people to be able to have access to knowledge and help cure ‘stupidity’. He wants to do it as quickly as possible, always reaching for lofty goals that might seem impossible, but he will make them possible.

“I know exactly what I want and who I want to be

I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine

I’m now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy

Oh! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no, oh!”

Ratio knows his goal. He knows what he’s working towards. I do believe that he understands why he is the way that he is – he has a degree in Psychology, after all. He knows how he’s been hurt but at the same time, the trauma brain probably doesn’t want to recognize it and he hasn’t stepped into healing yet. He knows what he went through impacted him, but he’s too busy helping others to help himself. He’s becoming what he wants to be, and yet he’s not, all at the same time – which causes the idea of “oh no!” as a kind of cry for help, almost. He’s too proud to ask for it himself, of course, so he’ll fall alone until someone manages to catch him and give him the strength to continue holding on. Aventurine is that.

“One track mind, one track heart

If I fail, I’ll fall apart

Maybe it is all a test

‘Cause I feel like I’m the worst

So I always act like I’m the best”

Now, these are the exact lyrics that made me associate this song with Ratio in the first place. He’s got a singular goal that he will do nothing to stop at getting, that he goes so far to get to. However, as I mentioned earlier, failure is not an option for those who were deemed gifted or genius. You are perfect, so therefore you must live up to everyone’s every expectation and surpass them, too, in order to keep your perception of yourself intact. Ratio does not hold himself in high regard, but acts arrogant in order to hold himself together and not fall to the self-deprecating thoughts, even if they fall through the cracks. It gets tiring to hold yourself together like that for a long time, you know?

“I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly

I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die

I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly

I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die”

Remember how I was talking about contradictory mindsets and how they can coexist. This is them. The feeling of crippling self-hatred and lack of self esteem versus the idea that you can do it, you can make a difference – you were born a genius, this is what you’re going to do. This is the knowledge that you are a genius vs the lack of self-esteem that Ratio has. “Mediocre” vs “genius” mindset, eh?

All the other lyrics in this song are repetitions of what I’ve analyzed before, so let’s move onto “Are you Satisfied?”

To be honest, there are only a few lines in this song that allow me to connect it to Ratio, so therefore, I will only be analyzing them. However, if you think that other lyrics can connect to him, I’d be interested in knowing how.

“What you’re gonna be

It’s not my problem if you don’t see what I see

And I do not give a damn if you don’t believe

My problem, it’s my problem that I never am happy

It’s my problem, it’s my problem on how fast I will succeed”

Pretending to not care about how the world sees you is so fucking real. Sometimes, you really don’t give a shit, and sometimes it’s all you can think about. Ratio… doesn’t seem like he’s the happiest person. He works himself hard and he’s always chasing after a goal that must be exhausting. He’s always doing his best, and I think even with his empathy, it’s easy to start not giving a shit after trying for so long and so hard. Accepting help is one of the hardest things that anybody can do, especially with how much pride he has. His personal problems are his personal problems and he can deal with them on his own.

“High achiever, don’t you see?

Baby, nothing comes for free

They say I’m a control freak

Driven by a greed to succeed

Nobody can stop me”

Nothing comes for free. A lot of the things Ratio has achieved is due to his own intelligence, yes, but also because of a shit ton of hard work. His goal is literally to cure the universe of ‘stupidity’ – and that’s a pretty large fucking goal. He is a high achiever who likes to know the details of every situation when he can in order to try and make things better, and he is driven by a greed to succeed. Why wouldn’t he be? Success is important, and success means helping more people. He isn’t going to allow himself to be stopped by anybody – not even anybody from the Genius society.

Okay, and we have finally reached the end of my analysis! This caps at around 4k words, so if you stuck around for this long, thank you so much. I would love to hear any of your comments, and I hope you laughed a little bit. Thank you again! This means so much to me that you read. <3

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lxclerc · 2 years

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𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 | 𝐜𝐬𝟓𝟓 & 𝐜𝐥𝟏𝟔

SUMMARY: you don’t realize what you have till you lose it, a lesson charles had to learn the hard way. REQUESTED: yes WARNING: angst, SMUT, 18+, threesome, oral (both m & f receiving), choking, p in v, unprotected sex, spitting, overtimulation, manhandling, praise kink, degragation, probably some dumbification somewhere in there PAIRING: carlos sainz x reader x charles leclerc WORD COUNT: 7.1k

NOTE: this took so long to finish but i’m just happy it’s done. please know that the only instruction i got from my friend who requested this was "angry charlos smut" after monza and that i probably won't be writing smut like this soon again so soon

part 1: moth to a flame

MASTERLIST

The scene before you now is a familiar one. It’s so awfully familiar that it makes your heart ache again. Staying up and waiting for a call from Charles after a night out isn’t out of ordinary for you but you thought you were both over this. Yet still, waking you up from your slumber was Charles, slurring over his words as he asked you to pick him up, far too drunk to drive and forcing you out of the comfort of your bed as you grabbed your keys.

This time though, you aren’t alone. Carlos had flown over to you after you were unable to travel with the team, desperate to spend time with you before Silverstone. That meant that the last time you saw Carlos was three weeks ago and it's a surprise how much you missed each other terribly. You never talked about it but you both know it isn’t just sex. Carlos may play your body like a violin but he always touches you so gently. He looks after you, notices your small discomfort that he’s quick to amend. He holds you against his chest softly even when you’re not naked.

In the three weeks you were unable to see him, the two of you spend most of your days exchanging texts, your nights with each other on facetime as you sleep and so given the first chance considering you won’t be able to go to him, Carlos offered to fly to you in Monaco and you hadn’t even thought twice before agreeing. Three days together after not seeing each other for three weeks feels far too short, but you’ve gotten greedy. You’d happily take whatever he offers.

That being said, the two of you could be spending doing much more productive things than picking up your best friend from the club. Carlos had told you as much but you know you’re unable to completely abandon him.

It was becoming clear to Carlos though. Despite everything, when Charles calls, you will always come running. Some part of him is willing to acknowledge he’s being unfair. You and Charles have been friends before either of you could talk. You spent nearly your entire life together. And you’ve always been good, always been kind and willing to help. Carlos should have known you wouldn’t just leave Charles to fend for himself.

However, he’s clouded with irrational jealousy at the moment, his hand gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his fist is turning white. Tension rise as you sat quietly in the passenger’s seat, trying to make yourself as small as possible.

You know his anger is justified. He’d be leaving tomorrow morning and you’d promised your night to him. Neither of you are sure when you’ll be able to see each other again. Even this meeting you knew took lots of effort on his part. He canceled so many meetings and appearances, prioritized spending time with you rather than his family and here you were, running back to the arms of a man who never truly valued you instead of spending time with him.

And it’s not like you needed to be the one to pick up Charles. You could have very well called one of his brothers but perhaps it was leftover feelings or perhaps it was the clear broken way in which he said your name. Either way, you’re unable to stomach the thought of passing him off to someone else without knowing if he's okay. The two of you had been through too much for you to do that.

“I can get him myself,” you finally spoke up as Carlos parked in front of the famous Monte Carlo club. You don’t want to bother him more than you already have and he looked annoyed enough as it is. “You can just wait for me here.”

Carlos raised an eyebrow as he met your eyes, instantly causing red to tinge your cheeks. He looks furious but not even that can stop your body from reacting to him. He still looks beautiful even though he looks murderous. Stepping out of the car, he offered you his hand, entwining your fingers together. “Let’s go.”

Carlos may only be wearing a hoodie paired with Nike shorts looking like he just rolled out of bed but everyone still turns to him anyways, whether because they recognized him or simply because he still looks absolutely breathtaking despite the minimal effort in his appearance. Personally, you’re leaning more on the latter.

It didn’t take long to find Charles, the monegasque hunched over a table as his hand gripped a glass of what you can only assume to be alcohol. His cheeks all the way to his neck and ears are red and you can’t help but run to him in worry, immediately attempting to support his body.

He squints at you and you can’t help but take notice of the bags under his eyes. No, this isn’t just some random drinking spree. Charles, more often than not, knows his limit well when it comes to alcohol. He only ever allows himself to get this drunk when he’s determined to force something down. “Y/N?”

“Charles,” you breathe out as Carlos reaches the two of you, looking significantly more annoyed as you try to hoist your best friend over your shoulder. “On va te ramener chez toi.” Let’s get you home.

Carlos removes his teammate’s weight off of you, placing an arm around his shoulder as the two of you all but drag him out of the club, aware of the many many eyes trained on the three of you.

“Je veux rester avec toi,” Charles muttered, slurring over his own words. “Tu m'as manqué.” Want to stay with you…Missed you.

You turned to your spaniard companion, hoping he isn’t able to piece your conversation together, but Carlos is staring right ahead, making a point not to look at you as he jaw clenched, entire body stiff with unreleased tension.

How many times will you run to Charles? How many times will you drop Carlos’ hand? How many times will you cancel plans? Would Carlos have to settle for this? Would he always come second best after his teammate? Second driver, second lover, second choice. Always coming second, alway too late.

After the two of you buckle Charles in the backseat, you reach for him, placing your hand against his cheek as you all but force him to face you. He looks tired, probably as tired as you do but he still looks beautiful anyways. Carlos Sainz is ethereal. There’s simply no other way to describe him. From his perfectly arched brows to his tan skin, he’s all you’ve ever dreamed about.

“I’m sorry,” you say, voice low and a little bit terrified and the sight of you trying to make yourself look smaller next to him all but breaks Carlos’ heart.

You don’t seem to understand that with him, you’ll never have to make yourself small. With him, you’ll never have to try and take as little space as possible. You never have to lower your voice or speak gentler in fear of inconveniencing him. With him, you can be you; fully and unapologetically and he’ll still find you to be the most beautiful girl to exist.

You are nothing short of perfect in Carlos’ eyes. Even if you’re breaking his heart.

He grabs your hand on his cheek, entwining your fingers together as he plants a soft kiss on your knuckle. No words need to be said as he starts up the car and pulls out of the parking lot, his hold on your hand seemingly only getting tighter, terrified of the possibility that you might let go again.

—

Returning to your apartment, you let Carlos carry Charles inside, flopping him down on your uncomfortable couch. You kneel before your best friend, lightly removing his shoes and putting a pillow under his head.

“Y/N,” Charles muttered, eyes fluttering.

“Va dormir,” you tell him softly. Go to sleep.

Charles seemingly hummed something under his breath, a confirmation you thought as you stood up, more than ready to return to the comfort of your bed before Carlos’ flight in a few hours.

“Y/N.” And yet just as you’re about to turn, Charles’ hand wrapped around your wrist, stopping your movement and forcing you to look back at him. He’s still as drunk as he had been but his eyes are open now, green eyes you used to adore staring back at you. “You’re so beautiful.”

You freeze. Of course he’s called you beautiful before but not like he’s doing now, not with how he’s looking at you now. You can practically feel Carlos’ stare at the side of your head as you swallow the lump in your throat. “Go to sleep, Charles.”

But he’s still not letting go of your hand, only staring at you as though he’s seeing you again for the first time. He’s looking at you as if you’ve transformed into someone new, someone he doesn’t recognize, but someone that has him staring in awe. “I’m in love with you.”

You’d be able to hear a pin drop with the silence that enveloped the room but you’re only frozen in place, the words you’ve wanted to hear so badly ever since you could remember only seemingly breaking your heart. A part of you, the part of you from years ago, is desperate to say it back, to jump into his arms and let him make everything better.

But the you now, the you that had touched Carlos, that let him touch you, the you that have laid with him from the other side of the world with your phone cameras on giggling the night away till your stomachs ache and your cheeks hurt from smiling, refuses to let you open your mouth. Charles may have been your past and for the longest time, you so desperately hoped he’d be your future but the truth remains that Carlos is your present and everything in you wishes he’d be more than that.

And so you stood there, in between the two men, one holding your hand and the other holding your heart.

But the silence is broken as Carlos pushes himself away from the wall he was leaning at, not even bothering to look at you as he went into your bedroom, slamming the door behind him and leaving you in shock.

How you ended up in this situation, you aren’t too sure but you can only hope Charles is speaking nonsense in his drunken stupor. In the silence, Charles had laid back down, breathing already even as he slept so peacefully after having dropped your hand moments ago, not at all aware of the mess he’s created.

You sigh, stepping away from Charles and going into your room to find Carlos folding up his clothes as he fixes his luggage. He looks as tired as you felt and you don’t hesitate walking behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso as you place your chin on his shoulder.

“You don’t have to leave yet,” you whisper against his shoulder, a slight tremor in your voice.

But Carlos only steps away from your hold, continuing to shove his clothes back in his luggage in an attempt to collect his thoughts as you sit down at the edge of the bed wondering how what was an amazing three day break turned into this.

Eventually, Carlos faces you, lightly tugging on his hair in frustration as the sad look in your eyes tugged at his heartstrings. He's always been in control. In control of his life, of his car, of his emotions. But when he looks at you, he feels helpless. You hold so much power over him and you don't even realize it.

“You have to figure out what you want, Amor, because I want you. But do you want me or do you want him?”

The thought of how much he's willing to give and to do for you is almost frightening.

“Carlos–”

But he cut you off as he walked over to you, holding your cheeks in his hands as he planted a kiss on your forehead before he grabbed his luggage and walked out.

—

When the sun shined the morning after with Charles beginning to wake, you were already up, a cup of coffee warming your hands and dark bags under your eyes. There’s a glass of water and pain medicine waiting for Charles once he finally manages to get himself up.

You’re wearing an oversized shirt that reaches your thigh, one that obviously doesn’t belong to you, a fact that Charles tried his best to ignore as he took his seat before you. “Bonjour. Je suis désolé pour la nuit dernière.” Good morning…I’m sorry for last night.

You only hummed in response, mind still racing. Without Carlos, you weren’t able to sleep at all, his last words echoing in your head along with Charles’. All you can think about is how the two of you had planned to check out a newly opened cafe down monte carlo today before his flight but now you’re left sulking in your kitchen with your hungover best friend.

“Where’s Carlos?” Charles finally had the courage to ask, glancing at your bedroom door as if he’s expecting the Spaniard to appear out of nowhere.

But your voice, a little strained and a lot tired, brings his attention back to the table. “He got an earlier flight.”

“Oh,” was all Charles said. He has a nagging feeling his sudden intrusion is the cause of Carlos’ change of plans, one you’re obviously not happy about if the deep frown on your face is anything to go by.

For a moment, the two of you remain in silence. For the first time in his life, Charles doesn’t know how to talk to you. Your sweet, easy smile that he adores isn’t present, replaced by a frown as you stare at your coffee as though you don’t even notice his presence. Despite being only having a few feet between you, you feel so far away.

Charles knows though. Unfortunately, he isn’t one of those people who conveniently forgets every stupid thing he does or say while drunk. He doesn’t get the luck of forgetting everything when morning comes. Instead, he actually has to live with the embarrassment and consequences of it all.

It’s not like drunken confessions are new for the two of you though. On your 19th birthday as Charles tucked you in bed, making sure to remove your makeup, you had drunkenly confessed just how in love you were with him. He stared at you in shock, movement stilling as he swallowed the lump in his throat before gently letting you know that he can’t offer you anything more than friendship while simultaneously breaking your heart. And after that, you convinced yourself you were content with it. You were content with being in his life, being the one by his side. It didn’t matter how much it hurt or how many nights you spent crying because at least you still have your place by his side. At least you still had him.

When the two of you were 21 after a night out that quickly turned into Charles calling you up to pick him up, he had drunkenly curved himself around you as he made you promise to never leave him. He talked about the future you’ve always dreamt of, one with you walking down the aisle and him being the one waiting for you at the end of the altar. He told you he loved you as the two of you slept with your hands entwined, a new kind of hope that ignited in your chest up until he apologized the next morning, telling you it meant nothing and he had just been drunk. It was cruel but you stayed anyway.

You stayed because he needed you. He’s always needed you. He needed you through your childhood, he needed you through your teenage years, he needed you after Jules’ death, he needed you after his father’s death, he needed you after anthoine’s death and now, he needs you still after every bad race. Charles has always needed you but the problem was that he’s never wanted you enough.

“About last night,” he starts, causing you to immediately look up at him, a kind of plea in your eyes. “Y/N, I-”

“Don’t,” you cut him off, your voice shaky. “Don’t say anything. If you don’t say anything, I can pretend it’s just another drunken mistake, one you never meant to make. Please don’t say anything.”

“But I did mean it.” There’s a certain kind of desperateness in Charles’ voice as he says it as though he needed you to hear it. But god you’re so fucking tired of always prioritizing what Charles needs. “I’m in love with you. I think I always have been.”

“Stop,” you tell him, a break in your voice as your eyes pooled with unshed tears but they aren’t sad tears. Instead, they’re angry tears as you look down at him. “It’s unfair, Charles. You’re being so unfair!”

Charles’ head dropped to his hands. What a mess he’d made of things. “I know, I know. I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t know. You’ll never understand. I have loved you for as long as I can remember. I have always put you first. I stuck through everything. I stayed even though it hurt so fucking much. I have been with you through every girl you liked better than you ever liked me. I waited and waited and fucking waited,” your voice is shaking with anger as the tears falls and Charles hates himself a little bit more with each passing second. “How dare you tell me you’re in love with me now? You are cruel and unfair.”

Charles wanted to cry too. He wanted to hold you. He wanted to go on his knees and apologize for being the world’s biggest idiot. Why did he only realize his feelings for you just as he lost you? There was nothing else to say. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“You’re not in love with me, Charles,” you said, sounding so sure as if it’s a mere fact of the universe. “You’re not in love with me. You just hate that I’m not in love with you anymore.”

—

Despite what the world thinks, Carlos Sainz is a wicked man. He’s territorial and possessive. His wants are primal and like any predator, Carlos will haunt and stalk, claim and mark. And there’s nothing he wants more than he wants you.

And Charles Leclerc is a hindrance, a bump on the road. The moment you arrived on his doorstep, apologies in your eyes as you declare yourself as his, Carlos could barely keep his hands off you. The next race weekend, you had appeared in the paddock in a skimpy dress showing off the marks on your skin as Carlos sent Charles an arrogant smile.

It was a little bit ridiculous, so much so that the team and fans alike are starting to take notice of the tension between the two Ferrari drivers. Whereas they were able to keep work and private matters separate before, they struggle now. Carlos is arrogant and Charles is bitter. Carlos, whose arms are always around you, whose lips are always on your skin, whose scent follows you like it’s engraved in your DNA, has seemingly done everything he can to show Charles that he’s won. It’s him you chose and Charles you left behind.

Charles, for his part, hasn't been doing much to relieve the tension. He has no problem reminding Carlos it’s him you loved first, it’s him you spent every milestone with, it’s him with you in every childhood memory, that he is a part of you as much as Carlos is.

Of course though, everything must come to an end and it all seems to boil over in Silverstone. The unbearable tension only seems to thicken as the race comes to a close with Carlos taking his first ever win and Charles getting nothing but P4.

The moment he stepped down on the podium, Carlos was on you like a starved man. His hold on you is bruising, his kisses demanding and you absolutely loved it.

“Carlos–” you start but he cuts you off by connecting your lips together, pushing you against the wall as one of his hands goes on your bare leg.

At that perfect moment, Charles stepped into the hallway, eyes immediately landing on the two of you. He looks disheveled, disappointment written all over his face, a deep contrast to Carlos’ arrogant smirk.

He’s at the top of the world, so much so that he’s ready to put an end to his and Charles’ pissing contest over you and he knows exactly how to do it. “Why don’t you join in?”

Both you and Charles turned to him in disbelief. Join in? The three of you?

Carlos faces you, the same smirk on his face. “You don’t mind that, do you, angel? Why don’t we give Charles a show for being such an amazing teammate today?”

Your cheeks colored pink, the idea of four hands on you turning you on more than you’ll ever admit. Shyly, you shake your head.

But Charles is still frozen in place, the undeniable tightness in his pants becoming hard to ignore as you all but grind against Carlos race suit, looking so desperate and needy that he just wanted to fuck you there and there.

“What do you say, mate?” Carlos asks again, hand rising to cup your breast. “I’ll teach you all about making her cum.”

And that does the trick. His pride and ego refuses to let that one go, having taken enough beating today than any man would ever like. He can make you cum on his own, thank you very fucking much.

That seems to put him into motion as the three of you enter Carlos’ drivers’ room, Charles’ lips eagerly going to your neck as Carlos claims your mouth.

Carlos’ hands on you are firm and demanding, keeping your body pressed up against his despite Charles’ hands placing themselves on your waist, his chest hitting your back as he planted feathery kisses on the sensitive skin of your neck. Charles’ touch is so soft, so hesitant as though he’s terrified you’d break if he pressed a little harder but Carlos’ is so demanding, so firm as though you’re his to touch and use.

“Get on your knees, hermosa,” Carlos tells you, pulling at your lower lip before he finally let go of you, a smirk on his face. “Let’s show Charles what he’s been missing.”

Charles watched the way you stared up at him under your lashes, looking like the perfect picture of innocence if only you weren't moving to kneel in front of him, nimble fingers working to push his race suit down.

He’s not too proud to admit that he’s dreamt about this for too long, wondering exactly how your hands and mouth would feel around him. And he’s definitely not too proud to admit that even way back in his teenage years before any of you truly understood what love meant, the exact sight of you right now were the ones to fill his fantasies at night.

Charles hissed the moment your hand wrapped around his cock, making Carlos smirk at the simple reaction as he sat himself on the couch, watching the way your eyes are trained on him instead of the man who’s cock you’re holding.

Even when giving a blowjob, your eyes will always follow Carlos.

“Go on, angel,” Carlos encourages, reaching forward to tuck your hair behind your ear as your hand starts moving up and down. “Get him off.”

Charles can almost see the immediate change in you upon Carlos’ demand, your movements becoming more assured as he throws his head back, unknowingly reaching to tug at your hair. And when you put his tip against your tongue, he’s sure he’s in heaven, your warm lips wrapping around him as you bob your head up and down with Carlos reaching to gather your hair into a makeshift ponytail.

There’s a cheeky grin on Carlos’ face that infuriates Charles more than he’d like to admit – as though he doesn’t feel threatened at all despite the fact that you’re on your knees for him.

“Going to ruin you, corazon,” Carlos muttered against your ear as he moved by you, planting a kiss on the sensitive skin below your ear. “You want that?”

You’re quick to nod your head, the vibration causing Charles to hiss again as he couldn’t help the way he thrusted into your mouth, feeling his release coming as you take him as far as you could go, his tip hitting the back of your throat.

With him hanging dangerously close to the edge, Charles pulled himself out of your mouth, groaning at the way you’re staring at him as though you’re wondering if you’ve done something wrong.

Carlos only laughs as he gently guides you so you’re leaning against his chest, not wasting any time in pulling your shirt off of you. “Come on, mate. I’ll even give you first taste.”

God, Charles hated how cocky Carlos sounded. He also hated how self assured the Spaniard is when it came to handling your body, not a single second of hesitation in his movements as his thumb started flicking at your nipples, making you throw your head against his shoulder. Carlos knows exactly how to touch you to make you want more, to get a reaction out of you and he has no problems reminding Charles of it.

And Charles realized exactly what had spurred this on. Letting him have a taste of you didn’t come from the goodness of Carlos’ heart. Rather, it’s all part of his plan to show Charles exactly where he stands.

Carlos isn’t threatened because Charles may get to have you today but Carlos gets to have you anytime and wherever he wants.

And if Charles had any ounce of self respect, he would have turned around now and told his teammate to get lost but he’s never claimed to be smart and so he kneels before you, pushing your legs apart.

“Can I take it off, ma belle?” He asked softly and Carlos nearly laughed again.

Nonetheless, you nod your head and Charles doesn’t waste any time removing your pants. He lays on his stomach, nose ghosting over your clothed cunt which makes you let out a whimper.

“Please,” you all but scream out as Charles blows air into your cunt, teasing you as much as he could.

Carlos’ hand wraps itself around your neck, squeezing just enough to shut you up. “What did I say about whimpering, hermosa?”

And Charles absolutely hated the way it’s so natural for you to heed Carlos’ orders. He hates how much control the Spaniard has over you and he hates Carlos for playing such a cruel and elaborate joke.

Finally, Charles removed your underwear, chucking it somewhere behind him and the cold air hit your most sensitive area, causing you to erupt in shivers. His finger is slow when it comes to touching you, ghosting over your clit before it eventually pressed down, gathering your wetness and spreading all over your cunt

Your hands gripped at Charles' hair as his finger entered you, pumping in and out as his tongue circled your clit.

“Fuck,” you breath out, eyes rolling at the back of your head.

“What did I say about making noise?” Carlos taunts, his hand around your neck tightening for a fraction of a second. “Stupid already?”

You only grunt in response as Charles’ added another finger, scissoring them inside you in order to stretch your hole.

Carlos brought his lips on yours and you couldn’t help but moan into his mouth as you eagerly kissed him back. Charles fingers and mouth are igniting your body but he’s moving too slowly, not giving you enough stimulation and friction to chase after. You’re so used to Carlos’ usual brutal pace, never truly giving you enough chance to breathe as he goes down on you that Charles’ careful movements aren't bringing you as close to the edge as you’d like.

Carlos must have noticed the lack of your breathless panting because he’s smirking again before turning to Charles. “She likes it rough, mate.”

Charles looks annoyed, not having appreciated being guided or interrupted. “Fuck off.”

But nevertheless, Charles’ fingers quicken, so much so that you’re suddenly gripping Carlos’ thighs, nails digging on his skin as Charles hadn’t bothered warning you before he added a third finger in, pumping in and out of you at such a brutal pace that you instinctively attempt to close your legs only for Charles to pry them open as his thumb worked on your clit.

The Monegasque is nibbling and sucking on the skin on your thigh, leaving marks and trailing kisses as if his fingers aren't abusing you.

“Look so pretty like this, angel,” Charles tells you, eyes clouded with lust as he watches the way your body shakes, your walls clenching around his fingers and alerting him that you’re nearing your orgasm.

Carlos cooed at you. “I think she looks like a common whore. Letting us both touch you like this. You like this, baby? You like being shared?”

You barely have enough sense to form coherent thoughts, much less to actually answer him but Carlos never did like being ignored, his fingers pinching at your nipple, the shot of pain bringing a little bit of your sense back as Charles’ fingers doesn’t stop assaulting your cunt, so stretched out that he’s slipping so easily right in.

“Answer him like a good girl, baby,” Charles tells you, pretty green eyes staring straight at you.

God, their contrasting personalities might just be the death of you. “Y-yeah. Fucking love it.”

“Watch your mouth,” Carlos warned lightly but his mouth was on you again before you could even process what he said, swallowing down your moan as you finally let go of the knot that had been forming in your stomach, your cum spilling out of you and into Charles’ hand.

Your body sags against Carlos’ chest as Charles gently pulls his fingers out of you, licking them clean. His eyes shut as the taste of you spread on his tongue, so dirty and sweet and everything he’s ever imagined.

But before you could even try and recover, Carlos is already effortlessly removing you away from him, placing you on the cold floor as he situates himself between your spread legs. “One more.”

“No,” you try to protest, much too sensitive to take another one so soon but Carlos seems to find your protest funny as he lets out a chuckle, not bothering to give you a warning before his tongue is diving deep into you.

“We both know you can take more, niña bonita.”

The reminder that the two of you have done this many times before wasn’t what Charles needed as Carlos licked a stripe between your folds.

“Oh my god,” you breath out, breathless as your hand flies to his hair.

Charles' hand reached towards you, cupping your jaw as he all but forced you to face him before meeting your lips, his hand going to your right breast and squeezing a little. But Carlos refuses to give you a second to breathe as he nibbles at your most sensitive bud, catching you completely off guard as an unusual loud moan escapes your lips. “Carlos.”

Carlos is smirking against your clit, his tongue coming in and out of you before lightly sucking on your clit and licking a stripe between your folds. It’s a cruel pattern, one that he’s already perfected as he tugs at your legs, pulling you closer towards him.

“So messy,” Carlos muttered against your cunt, the vibrations from his words causing you another shiver.

But you only whimpered in response as Charles’ hand wrapped around himself, slowly pumping as he listened to your soft moans.

You were already shamelessly close. It’s never been hard for Carlos to bring you to your orgasm after all and nothing is processing in your brain apart from the overwhelming pleasure his mouth is giving you, knowing exactly what spots to hit and which movements to do in order to have you moaning out.

“I’m coming,” you muttered, only having half a mind as you’re all but lost in the pleasure, your vision blurry from unshed tears.

Carlos’ tongue sped up as his finger entered you, curling for perfectly inside you in order to reach your most pleasurable spot as your body involuntarily arches. You practically squealed as your orgasm approached you, making a mess all over Carlos’ chin.

“God,” you muttered, trying to find the strength to lift your head in order to look at him as your breaths came in pants, your legs shaking and having turned into pure jelly.

But Carlos is smirking at you, that mischievous glint in his eyes ever present. “I’m not done, cariño.”

He said it so simply and in your dazed out state, you hadn’t even gotten the chance to process his words before his mouth is back on you again, causing you to instinctively try and crawl away from him but Carlos hold on you remains, arms wrapping around your legs as he pulls you back at him.

You flinch when Carlos’ tongue returns on you and Charles’ hand pumping his cock quickens as strangled moans and grunts escape your lips. The sight of you like this, looking so fucked drunk despite not having been fucked yet, is one he wants to engraved in his mind. You’re gripping air as Carlos' assault on your cunt returns, so sensitive from your two previous orgasm that you’re nothing but dead weight, having lost all your energy as his tongue sucks and licks.

“I can’t,” you moaned, hips attempting to push you up again but Carlos’ arms pushes you back down, his eyes closed and his facial hair covered in your cum as he eats you out.

Charles throws his head back, his own orgasm coming just in time with your third as his hands quickens, thumb rubbing his tip till both your moans fill the small drivers’ room. As he sprays his cum all over your chest, Carlos guides you to your third orgasm with barely any effort. His tongue only needs to flick at your clit a few times to have you spasming again.

Both you and Charles are panting as you ride out your orgasms.

Carlos seems to pity you, giving you a few moments to catch your breath as he crawls over you, his eyes meeting Charles’ as he lightly taps on your chin, your lips automatically opening as he spits into it, tasting your own arousal mixed with Carlos’ usual minty taste.

If you weren’t so tired, you would have noticed the intense eye contact the two drivers were sharing, one with a smirk on his face and the other rolling his eyes. Carlos’ action was clear, a reminder; Charles is only touching you now because Carlos is letting him.

“You think you have one more in you, baby?” Carlos asked, pushing some of your hair back as you shake your head. “We should let Charles have a chance at ruining that cunt, don’t you think? Considering this is his only chance.”

You nod, so easily agreeing to Carlos’ words. Charles thought that Carlos could ask you to jump off a cliff and you’d probably ask the best way to come tumbling down. The thought causes an ache in his chest.

Still, Carlos is not cruel. Yes, he likes control and yes, he often pushes you to your limit whenever it comes to sex but he does genuinely care for you. It’s obvious in the way he grabbed a water bottle, tapping at your chin again for you to open up before gently tipping the contents of the bottle over, wiping the droplets of water that fell to your chin with his thumb. When you aren’t fucking each other like catholic rabbits, Carlos’ hold on you is always gentle, always careful as though he’s terrified of dropping you.

Maybe Charles was still holding out hope that what the two of you had was only sex. Maybe he wished Carlos didn’t care for you so he can find some way to steal you back but watching the two of you now, it’s obvious to Charles that he couldn’t be more wrong. This is more than sex, more than any physical relationship.

It was a slap to the face that he truly had lost you.

“Why don’t you give Charles a show and ride him?” Carlos suggested after you’ve rested enough to be able to hold your head up again.

You nod again, already crawling over to Charles. It’s a miracle you even have the energy to do so as you straddle him, your childhood best friend’s hands immediately placing on your hips as he guides you. It’s easy to sink into him, his cock easily sliding into you due to the amount of cum still covering your folds.

Your forehead falls to his shoulder, feeling so filled up and tired as you let yourself adjust to his size. It feels entirely different from Carlos’ but you realize you don’t mind. Charles is breathing heavily, his lips trailing kisses on your neck.

There’s a deep contrast between how Charles and Carlos fucks. Carlos likes being in control, always demanding and mocking. You love it though. You love the way he plays your body as though he’d studied it. You love that he knows exactly where to touch and nibble to have you whimpering. You love the cocky way he tells you to keep quiet. You love how entirely natural it is to give yourself up to him.

Charles on the other hand, is much softer. He lets you move yourself, giving you time to breath and adjust, enough to make you think you have some sort of control. The firm hands on your hips tells you that you have no control here though. It’s all an illusion.

Eventually, Charles starts guiding you up and down his length, the friction making you moan out as he grazes your clit.

Carlos is sitting before the two of you, watching intently in the way Charles’ cock disappears in your cunt, arms crossed over his chest and his legs spread, showing off his obvious hard on. There isn’t an ounce of jealousy in his eyes though, instead they’re lust filled as they watched the way your body moved, the way your skin glistened with sweat. He doesn’t even bother to tell you off for making so much noise.

Carlos is not insecure. He never has been. He knows what he can do, he knows how he looks and he definitely knows how to please a woman. There’s never been any reason for him to be insecure of anyone and Charles is no different. At the end of the day, it’s his bed you fall into every night, him who gets to hold you, him who gets to fuck you whenever he wants. He’s already won and he knows there’s no reason for jealousy, not when you’re looking at him like that as another man fucks you as if you wished it’s him instead.

Charles knows you’re spent and so he does all the work, effortlessly lifting you up and down his cock as he throws his head back. You’re sure there’ll be bruises tomorrow but at the moment, nothing matters more than your fourth orgasm of the night.

“Fuck,” you moaned when he hits that part of you, your nails digging into his back. There would be scratches tomorrow but Charles couldn’t care less.

“You’re doing so good, mon ange,” Charles mutters against your skin, his movements becoming erratic as he meets you halfway, thrusting up in order to go deeper. “So fucking beautiful like this. Looking like the perfect little slut.”

And god, the degradation went straight to your core, making you moan out as you can feel your orgasm coming to you, your tight walls squeezing him that Charles had to bite on your shoulder in order to muffle his noise.

In front of you, Carlos is still watching, face emotionless apart from the smirk painting his lips. “She’s amazing, isn’t she, mate? You should see when she’s on her knees. Fucking heaven. Try to make her squirt.”

The reminder that Charles is only borrowing you for the day isn’t appreciated as the monegasque let out a grunt, one of his hands leaving your hip and going between the two of you where your bodies meet. His thumb is immediately on your clit, flicking and rubbing in circles as he chases your orgasm.

His movement is getting sloppy, more desperate as he thrusts into you, hitting parts of you that had you screaming out as you tug on his hair.

It feels like an explosion when your orgasm finally came, squirting all over Charles and the floor as your body falls against his in exhaustion, your cheeks red from the mess you made but far too tired to truly be embarrassed.

“Fuck,” Charles mutters, breathing as heavily as you as he holds you against him, holding your shaking form against him as the two of you catch your breath.

“Bravo, Charlie!” There’s mocking in Carlos’ voice as he says it along with amusement, his dick nearly painfully hard. You'll barely notice from his face though, looking so incredibly put together and in control that you wouldn’t have thought he just gave you two orgasms in a matter of seconds a few minutes ago.

You feel as though you could faint from how exhausted you are, your body so completely spent that you can barely feel your limbs attached to you. But still, you force yourself out of Charles’ hold and crawled into Carlos’ arms, releasing a sigh of relief as the Spaniard wrapped himself around you, your naked body pressed against him and your head buried at the crook of his neck.

Carlos smiles at you, planting the usual gentle kiss on your temple as he removes the hair clinging to your sticky, sweaty skin. “You did amazing, amor.”

You only hummed in response, trying to get comfortable as his scent warfed around you, immediately relaxing your muscles.

And all the while, Charles watched as he realized that he truly had lost you.

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linkspooky · 2 months

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Kusakabe the Last Man Standing

Is Kusakabe going to defeat Sukuna all by himself?

Probably not. I fully expect Maki and Yuji to get back up and join the fight. However, Kusakabe is a character that has been slept on for awhile and with him being reluctantly shoved into the spotlight I think it's time to write a meta analyzing him. Especially since the revelation that Kusakabe is the strongest first grade fighter didn't come out of nowhere, in fact Gege has been building up Kusakabe in the background for quite some time which I'll explore under the cut.

So Okay, He's Average

I want to begin this analysis by saying that Kusakabe represents a type of character that Jujutsu Kaisen is desperately in need of. He's just a normal guy. He's our only example of an everyman character. Usually in manga the protagonist serves as the everyman character, especially ones like Yuji who come from a normal life and are being introduced to a fantastical world for the first time, but Yuji ain't normal. Someone who willingly eats a finger that may kill him just so he can be useful and save a stranger isn't normal. Gojo has Yuji pegged as one of the crazy ones within the first few chapters.

Gojo says that sorcerers have to be crazy, that the best Jujutsu Sorcerers need to be broken in the head otherwise they can't get over their fear of curses and risk their lives fighting them on a daily basis. The cast is full of eccentrics, Gojo the strongest of all isn't even able to relate to other human beings, Sukuna is termed a calamity, Yuta kisses cockroaches without hesitation there's not a normal one in the whole bunch.

The ones that are normal, like Miwa who acts like an average high school girl, has no technique, and Mai who desperately craves to be a normal girl and doesn't want to be a jujutsu sorcerer, either are minor characters or they die.

You could say Ijichi provides the point of view as a normal character, but he's a minor character at best and uninvolved in the plot. Then there's Nanami, who represents the typical japanese salaryman. However, Nanami is extraordinary in that he is far more moral than all of his coworkers, such as returning to be a sorcerer because the work helps people instead of keeping his cushy job, and prioritizing the lives of children over himself.

Us mediocre and average people are in desperate need for representation. Cue, Kusakabe.

His introduction clearly demonstrates his attitude is different from most sorcerers, rather than running straight into danger, Kusakabe is trying to search for an excuse to stay out of danger where it's safe. While it's cowardly, it's also what a normal person would do in this situation. We are so used to sorcerers who either risk life and limb without a thought for the sake of other people like Nanami or Yuji, or sorcerers who enjoy the fight like Gojo that Kusakabe stands out.

Miwa who is basically the example of the normal girl among the teenagers shares several parallels with Kusakabe, they're both simple domain masters without cursed techniques, they're both self serving, and also Kusakabe is her teacher and probably the one who recruited her considering he shows up to save her at the end of Shibuya.

Kusakabe is meant to represent what a normal person with common sense would do in the world of Jujutsu, but that doesn't mean he's weak. As I stated above Gege has actually been building up Kusakabe's strength in the background for quite awhile.

When training with Yuji, Gojo first brings up that some sorcerers rely on their techniques too much and that Yuji doesn't necessarily need a fancy technique to win, he can overcome them by learning to control his cursed energy and then using it to strengthen his already amazing martial arts skills and physical prowess.

The Big Three clans like tend to overvalue inherited techniques too, the downfall of the Zen'in is that they didn't recognize the strength of people like Maki and Toji with no cursed energy because they believed their cursed techniques to be inherently superior.

In Mechamaru's fight against Mahito, Gege makes a big deal spending an entire page explaining the history and mechanics of simple domains. There's obviously no need to put this much attention into detail to explain simple domains unless they're going to come into play later, and while Miwa uses them as stated above she's a minor character.

A technique called the "Domain for the Weak" what better technique for a normal guy like Kusabe, who is stuck in a cast of super-human characters. When fighting with Yuji, Mei Mei compares Yuji to Kuskabe.

"You're on par with a grade-1 sorcerer at this point. To be this good without a cursed technique... I think you're the only one since Kusakabe."

To further compare him to Mei Mei, Mei Mei monologues about how because her cursed technique of controlling birds is weak she tried to strengthen her body. However, eventually she hit a brick wall and couldn't get any stronger and reach Grade-1 on her efforts alone. Which is when she decided to start using Ui Ui as a tool to make herself stronger by making binding vows between him and herself to strengthen her, in addition to inventing her suicide crow technique.

However, Kusakabe is even stronger than Mei Mei and he managed to reach that level by himself without needing to groom and manipulate a child.

Kusakabe also spends all of Shibuya avoiding getting in a fight with a special grade cursed spirit, and yet at the end of Shibuya he ends up tanking an Uzumaki Maximum from Kenjaku at point blank. Kenjaku even praises him.

This is the same Kenjaku who can use Suguru Geto's cursed technique even better than Geto can, and who wiped the floor with Choso while bragging that a cursed spirit that's ranked Grade-1 like Choso could never go one on one with a special grade. We never saw Kusakabe directly fight Kenjaku (he would probably run in the opposite direction if given the chance) but the fact that he can use a simple domain to cancel out one of Geto's strongest techniques point blank is really telling.

All the while having relatable thoughts like this one. In a lot of ways, Kusakabe reminds me of Todo, someone who Gojo mentioned as being one of the next up and coming star students alongside Hakari, and Yuta. Todo has a cursed technique that's simple but effective, but he also fights similiar to Yuji by his expert control of cursed energy. Todo fights mainly with his fists and martial arts and his impressive knowledge of how cursed energy moves though the body, his cursed technique gives him an added bonus.

Up until this point in the manga though Todo is the most knowledgable about cursed energy, he teaches it Yuji very easily and explains it in ways Yuji can understand. Fighting alongside Todo also brings out Yuji's full potential as a sorcerer. Todo is all muscle, but he fights with his head and is the smartest student in Kyoto.

All of this to say, Kusakabe's strength without a cursed technique can be explained by relating him to Todo. In the Gojo vs. Sukuna fights who is the main voice explaining to both the other students at Jujutsu High and the audience just how the battle is going down.

Kusakabe is not in there in the field, he's watching it on TV, and yet somehow he can disect and explain to the others how both Sukuna and Gojo are using high level Jujutsu Techniques. This is Sukuna and Gojo we're talking about, two geniuses who are the height of jujutsu and can often improvise and make up new techniques on the fly and yet Kusakabe is able to keep up with what's going on.

Kusakabe gives the play by play, he somehow knows what falling blossom emotion is even though he's not from one of the three big families. He explains to Hakari and Higuruma who are natural geniuses who don't quite understand how their powers work, how Gojo can change the conditions of his barrier and how exactly he made the barrier smaller.

Remember Kusakabe is also a teacher at Jujutsu High. Unlike Gojo who doesn't try to explain basic concepts to Yuji because he's such a genius, Kusakabe is also educating all of the students here and phrasing these high level techniques in ways they can understand. You can't really do that unless you yourself have an intimate understanding of the subject matter.

What I mean to say is by putting Kusakabe in charge of the discussion, Gege is demonstrating that Kusakabe is a character who understands the mechanics of cursed energy and domains on practically the same level as Todo who as we said is considered a prodigy. This is also some clever foreshadowing, because Kusakabe here seems like he's still a background character because all he's doing is essentially expositing to the audience and yet... how impressive must he be if he understands all of these advanced domain techniques when he's just a guy with a sword and no cursed techniques that uses simple domains.

Kusakabe also understands Higuruma's legal talk in about ten seconds, and can explain the mechanics of Higuruma's domain and why their plan to put Sukuna on trial might not work. He is much smarter than he seems at first glance, Miwa even makes a joke about it. He even analyzes Sukuna's techniques after facing them head on once - and he's the only one who notices how odd it is that Sukuna's not using his fire technique like in Shibuya.

Sukuna mentions that Kusakabe along with everyone else's cursed energy reinforcement techniques must be on another level if they're able to stand up to his slashes (even if they're in a weakened state right now). After all, Ishigori who was not only one of the strongest fighters of his era but was also hyped up for his massive pool of cursed energy that rivaled Yuta's was torn to pieces by Sukuna's slashes.

Kusakabe also seems to be the one in charge of the strategy for the fight (though it was Angel's idea to let Takaba handle Kenjaku, maybe they're both coordinating but Kusakabe is definitely leading them in the field).

My point being, as much as he's accused of handling his large cast Gege is often able to give a lot of characterization in a limited screentime. Kusakabe is more than he appears to be, and it's clever how Gege built up his importance without anybody noticing, because Higuruma himself likes to avoid conflict, hide in the background and is constantly downplaying his own talents. Ino even made another joke about it last chapter.

The commonly held view is that the sorcerers who reject their humanity and only care about refining their technique are the ones who become the strongest sorcerers. However, Kusakabe was able to climb to the top of the Grade One sorcerers despite lacking that attitude.

In my opinion, Jujutsu Kaisen is fundamentally about balance, so while there's a definite trend of Sorcerers who resemble Sukuna are the ones who become stronger - it's not presented as the only way to be strong. Yuji only defeated Mahito by cooperating with Todo. On top of that, Sukuna while finding Yuji boring admits that Yuji a mostly selfless person still demonstrates an indomitable will that Sukuna can't break no matter how hard he tries.

If Sukuna represents the thesis that the only way to become strong is to throw away all your humanity and become wildly selfish, then Kusakabe represents the antithesis as a mostly normal person (if a bit cowardly and self interest) who somehow climbed the ranks over people like Mei Mei who represent the kind of selfish monster Sukuna is.

This is actually the pattern for most of the Sukuna fights this arc too. Gojo and Hajime both represent the desire to be understood, and Sukuna rejects both love and says he doesn't need people to understand him because he understands himself.

Yuji is a human who is mostly selfless, and has inherited the curse of his fellow comrades as sorcerers, specifically carrying on the torch for Nanami who is also content to be a cog in the machine if it means he can help his fellow sorcerers out. Sukuna is a selfish monster, who is an individualist and sees other people as toys to amuse himself with.

Higuruma is a genius on the level of Gojo Satoru, but when challenged by Sukuna he ends up sacrificing himself instead in a direct parallel to Nanami in order to pass the torch onto Yuji.

Yuta's domain is literally called "authentic and mutual love" and Sukuna said to Hajime that he understands exactly what love is and he still rejects it. Sukuna's entire philosophy revolves around rejecting the love and friendship, while Yuta only fights for the sake of his friends, and can't believe that his life is worth living without people in his life who love him.

Sukuna gives a whole speech on how by rejecting cursed energy, and using a heavenly restriction to push her body to the peak of physical strength a human can achieve, she's forcing a role on Sukuna to compete with her as the peak of sorcery to determine which one is better.

Now it's Kusakabe turn to have a role in this fight too. While Maki has no cursed energy, she doesn't really represent humans because she's you know, a she-hulk. Kusakabe might be the most human character present that's willing to face down Sukuna. Kusakabe is the most human character someone who climbed this high without being born with any technique, Sukuna is the most inhuman monster in the series, a calamity that Yuji refers to as a true curse.

Gege even threw in these callbacks to Gojo panels.

That in itself might be foreshadowing that maybe Kusakabe stands a better chance against Sukuna then anyone in the audience thinks. As the number #1 Kusakabe stan, I'm definitely willing to bet on those odds!

#jjk meta #jjk 253 #jjk 253 spoilers #jjk spoilers #jujutsu kaisen 253 #jujutsu kaisen 253 spoilers #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #atsuya kusakabe #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #gojo satoru #maki zenin #kasumi miwa

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feelmyskinonyourskin · 10 months

Text

Fight Club

Pairing: Matt Murdock x (AFAB)Reader (with platonic Frank Castle x Reader)

Summary: @hellskitchenswhore is killing it with the prompts lately. Per her request: Matt's freaking out thinking you might be cheating on him because for the last few weeks, you’ve been coming home smelling like Frank. What he doesn’t know is that you asked Frank to teach you how to fight and didn’t tell Matt.

Warnings: 18+/SMUT. No use of Y/N. Female/AFAB reader (use of terms like girlfriend and female anatomy.) Established relationship. Brief mention of an active shooter at an office, Frank and Matt using pet names like sweetheart, mentions and accusations of cheating but no actual cheating, Unprotected sex, Fingering, P in V, Creampie, and Possessiveness from our dear Matt. Sort of getting caught after the fact.

Notes: I started taking kickboxing like three weeks ago, so I like to pretend that qualifies me to know what I'm talking about (It doesn't lol). So apologizes if I got any of the terminology wrong. UPDATE DEC 2023: I wrote an alternate ending to this fic that ends in a threeway with Frank that you can read here

WC: 5,000

*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on this site to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. The only platform I currently post anything on is Tumblr. Thanks!*

“That’s it sweetheart, last round I promise.” Frank encourages you as you take swings at the bag in front of you.

You’ve been at this for at least an hour and your arms feel like jello. You can’t remember the last time you were breathing this hard that wasn’t from Matt bending you in half. Jumping directly into the Hudson would have kept you drier than the amount of sweat currently pouring down your face and exhausted body.

“Atta girl, atta girl!” Frank praises as you take your last few swings, arms too weak to make any real movement of the bag

“Alright, you’re getting the hang of it now. Few more sessions and you’ll be out there with Red every night.”

“Pfft I don’t know about that, Frank. I’m just trying to make sure I can protect myself is all.”

“So remind me again why you didn’t ask him to teach you this?”

It started last week. One of your favorite coworkers was going through a bitter divorce and her estranged husband decided to confront her at the office and pulled a gun. You heard two shots ring out from your desk and feared the worst - all the active shooter situations you'd seen on TV were happening live in your life. Fortunately, as you fled for safety, Jerry from accounting was able to disarm and tackle the guy before he could hurt anyone thanks to his black belt in Jiujitsu.

Even though the incident ended okay, it had spooked you enough to get yourself some defense classes, for all those times when your vigilante boyfriend was too far uptown to protect you at a moment’s notice and Jerry wasn’t around to save the day.

Matt was always overprotective of you and you hated to think how he’d react to the incident, so you hadn’t told him. When the story hit the news, you lied (via text so he couldn’t detect it) and said it happened on a different floor and you didn’t even notice.

You also didn’t tell him about your decision to learn self-defense. Matt was more than qualified to teach you, but for some reason, you just didn’t feel comfortable asking for his help with this. Maybe it was his propensity to throw himself into helping those he cared about, you especially, that gave you hesitation to give him another thing to prioritize over himself. Maybe it was just how good he was at fighting that made you not want to “be a beginner” in front of him (not that Matt would ever judge you about anything.)

In fairness to you, you hadn’t intended to learn it from his frenemy and former client, but you’d showed up at the boxing gym near your work and the gruff men inside intimidated you so much, you bolted out the door before signing up for a class, tears welling in your eyes when you quite literally bumped into Frank on the street.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, nodding towards the door of the boxing gym

“I thought… Look I want to learn how to fight. Or at least how to defend myself. This place is close to work but um… might not be the right fit for me.”

“Why don’t you just ask Red?”

“It’s a long story,” you replied with a sigh “but I really don’t want to ask him. Or for him to even know about it. So can you please not mention you saw me here or we had this conversation?”

“Okay, can I ask why not?”

“You can but I’m not gonna answer.”

Frank chuckled and shook his head

“Well if you want to learn to fight, this isn’t the best place. I know Vinny the owner and he’s a shit teacher. But if you want to learn for real, I’m happy to teach you.”

“What? Wait really? Wait, Frank you know how to fight?”

“Sweetheart, I was a Marine for over 15 years, ‘course I know how to fight.”

“And you’d do that for me?”

“Course. You’re Red's girl. What times’ he leave for his little night job?”

“9:00”

“Great, meet me here at 9:30. Tonight.”

And that was how you ended up here, collapsing on the gym mat beneath you with a groan.

“Not bad for your first time. We just gotta get you in the habit of resetting your hands after every hit, and you’ll be golden” Frank praises again

“Oh yeah, I forgot, always protect the face so I don’t end up lookin like you.” you jest

“Ouch” he feigns hurt with a smirk on his face “Red teach you to swing low like that?”

“Nah Castle, that’s all me. It’s part of why he loves me. Same time tomorrow?”

“Sure. See you then.”

By the time Matt returns home, you’re showered and in bed, sore muscles pulsing every time you twist and turn in your sleep. Between the smell of sweaty clothes in the hamper and the scent of your freshly washed skin rubbing against silk sheets, plus the heat radiating off your sore muscles as he crawls into bed silently beside you, Matt figures it out pretty quickly.

‘She started going back to the gym. Hmm. Have to ask her about that in the morning.’ he thinks as he drifts off beside you.

You awake in the morning to gentle hands rubbing at your back.

“Mmm morning Matty” you mumble, still pulling yourself out of sleep

“Morning sweetheart.”

“What are you doing?” you ask as he works a little lower down your spine

“Giving you a massage. I can tell you’re sore. When did you start going back to the gym?”

“Just yesterday. And you’re right I’m super sore. Thank you, this is a nice way to start my day.”

“Of course sweetheart. What gym did you go to? Did you have fun?” he inquires

His innocent prodding has you waking fully quickly, trying to cover your tracks without outright lying and getting caught.

“Oh this gym near work. Couple people in the office recommended it. And yeah I had fun.”

All truths.

“That’s nice. Mmmm do you want to start the coffee or shower first?” he asks, seemingly letting the subject go

Perfect.

As you rush around to get ready for work, Matt grabs the laundry hamper from the bathroom, walking it over to the washing machine. Your dirty workout clothes from the night before sit on top, now less potent that they have completely dried. But he can’t help but feel like something smells off.

Sure it smells like you - natural scent mixed with your fading sweat, but there’s something else. Something familiar. A very subtle hint of spiciness mixed with… is that gunpowder?

‘Weird’ Matt thinks to himself, but brushes it off a moment later, the smell not strong enough to really garner more than a passing thought.

But three times he does the laundry in a row, he smells it. It’s so subtle, he might not even give it another thought, but it’s just so damn familiar.

It takes another week for him to ask you about it.

“Hey sweetheart, you’ve been going to the gym a lot lately,” he mentions over dinner

“Mmmhmm. Yeah, can you feel my muscles growing? I’m feeling stronger.” you reply

“Yeah. What exactly are you doing at the gym? It’s really working.”

“Oh a little cardio, a little strength, you know…” you skirt around, being intentionally vague

“That’s good. Is it like a class or?”

“Um sort of. Just this guy at the gym, he’s been helping me. You know, walking me through the exercises.”

Also technically the truth.

“That’s good. Well, I’m glad you found something you like.”

‘Okay, so that guy must smell like this. She’s close enough to him in a warm sweaty gym, so there’s a little bit on her clothes. Makes sense.’ Matt thinks to himself. But he still can’t shake the feeling that that smell is so familiar.

Two weeks later, Matt is out on patrol when he hears a familiar heartbeat on the fire escape a few floors down from where he’s perched.

Frank.

“You just gonna sit there all night, listinin’ Red?” Frank asks

“Very funny Frank.” Matt says, hopping down to Frank’s level

“Haven’t seen you in a while” Matt comments

“Been busy. Madani’s been usin’ me more.”

“Oh don’t tell me you’re going legit Frank.”

“Not a shot in hell, Red. But gotta pay the bills somehow.”

And then a strong breeze blows. Frank’s signature blend of sweat, aftershave, and metallic mixed with gunpowder from all the weapons he handles overwhelms Matt’s nose. Matt cocks his head in confusion. It’s so damn familiar. But of course it is, it’s Frank. How many times has Matt been on a rooftop with him like this, bs-ing the night away while monitoring the city?

After catching up for a bit, they go their separate ways, the rest of Matt’s evening turning uneventful.

He returns home to you shortly after 3 am, your soft breathing as you sleep calms him as he strips off his suit.

You hadn’t met with Frank tonight. He said something about following a lead and you were perfectly fine with that, you needed an off day.

Matt curls up in bed beside you, resting his head on your back and falling asleep quickly.

The next night, Frank is really putting you through your paces and you swear you’re ready to collapse when he finally calls it for the night.

Per usual, Frank offers to walk you home when you’re done and for the first time since you started coming here, you accept the offer since you stayed a bit later than usual tonight. At least until you can make it to Hell’s Kitchen and within range of Matt.

You and Frank make small talk as you go and eventually, the chill of the autumn air has you shivering in your still-damp-from-sweat workout clothes.

“Here sweetheart,” Frank says with a lopsided smirk, slinging his worn jacket over your shoulders.

“Thank you Castle. Always a gentleman.”

“Course, ‘specially for Red’s girl.”

You make it to 35th and 10th, close enough to home and hand his jacket back to him, parting ways with a nod and a polite “goodnight.”

The later hour coupled with the particularly intense session has you collapsing into bed without even removing your shoes, let alone your gym clothes.

When Matt returns a few hours later, the smell hits him like a truck.

‘I swear to god Frank, if you’re bleeding on my couch again…’ Matt thinks to himself.

But when he enters the apartment the only heartbeat he can hear is yours. He inches slowly toward the bedroom and rolls the door open gently. He reaches down to feel the soft lycra of your leggings on your body, careful not to stir you from your slumber. The smell of your sweat clinging to your clothes fills his senses, way more potent than normal plus that other scent you’re bringing home from the gym. Matt pauses to wonder why he thought Frank was here but then it hits him.

Oh my god. The mystery smell from the gym you’ve been bringing home is Frank.

But how could you smell like…

And then the gears in his head start turning. And he feels like a goddamn idiot.

You had been going to the gym. But not to work out. You were cheating. With Frank of all people. And you’d made the critical error of not showering when you got home.

Matt begins to pace the apartment, rubbing at his chin as his thoughts move a million miles a minute about what to do.

Did he confront you? Did he confront Frank?! What should he even say?

The sun rises and he’s still pacing and contemplating when his alarm rings out. He shuts it off before it can wake you too. He needs more time to think about his next move. He gets ready for work quietly and slips out the door before you awake.

You find it odd you haven’t heard from Matt all day. When you woke up you saw his Devil suit in a heap in the living room and there was no damage to it or blood on it. So you knew he had come home and was relatively okay. But it was so odd for him to leave without a goodbye kiss or go this long in the day without so much as a text. But he had been busy with a heavy caseload lately. You finally break shortly after lunch and text him first.

“Hey Matty. Know you’re busy but I miss you and I love you. Dinner tonight?”

“Can’t. Working late. Don’t wait up.” He responds

That was… oddly curt. But again you figure he’s stressed and busy.

Matt on the other hand has been wracked with stress all day. It only took an hour of his constant pacing and fidgeting for Foggy to break and finally ask.

“Matt. What’s up?”

“I think… I think I’m being cheated on.” Matt confesses. He leaves the Frank part out of the equation, wanting Foggy to be as objective as possible about his response.

“What could possibly make you think that?”

“She’s been going to the gym like every night for a month now right when I leave for patrol and she came home last night smelling like… another man. And she’s been smelling like it a little the whole month but last night it was all over her”

“So did you ask her?”

“Well no but…”

“Matt you are literally a human lie detector and yet here you are jumping to conclusions instead of doing the rational thing and just asking her.”

And maybe Matt would have taken Foggy’s advice if he thought you were just cheating with your gym trainer. But this was Frank. And that made it all the more complicated.

Matt decides finally what he’s going to do. He’s going to follow you tonight, catch you in the act and confront both of you together.

Matt still hadn’t come home when you depart for your nightly workout session, but little did you know he’s there. Pacing on the roof, waiting for you to leave. As soon as he hears the lobby door shut behind you, he springs in to action, taking the stairs two at a time into the apartment and changing out of his lawyer suit and into his devil suit as quickly as possible, making sure not to lose your heartbeat now a block and a half away. He makes up for the lost distance quickly and is practically on top of you by the time you enter the gym.

“Hey Frank” you call out as you enter

“Hey. I’ll be over in a second.” he replies from the locker rooms

Matt crouches down by the side of the building, just close enough to the windows to hear everything going on inside.

You’re almost done wrapping your hands when Frank emerges from the locker room.

“Alright let’s start with our usual, then you can have a go at me again.”

“I don’t know Frank. You really wore me out last night. I woke up still in my clothes and shoes.”

Matt knew it. He fucking knew it.

“Tough shit sweetheart,” Frank responds with a chuckle. “And what did your boyfriend think about that huh? He got any idea what we’re doing here yet?”

“Honestly I don’t know. I didn’t see or hear from him at all today. Which is weird even for him. And no I don’t think he’s figured it out yet.”

“You’re gonna have to tell him eventually”

“No, I don’t”

“So what you’re just gonna keep sneakin’ around, becoming a prize fighter without him gettin’ suspicious? Shit even a regular guy would raise some alarm bells by now, but especially Red and all his … shit”

“Frank, I am not here trying to become a prize fighter. I’m just trying to get strong enough to defend myself if he’s not around to do it. That’s all”

Matt’s heart drops.

How could he possibly think you were cheating? And with Frank of all people. He felt like an idiot. Like a total asshole. Sure you had lied, well, technically withheld the truth and he’s sure you’ll explain why. And he’s hurt if you wanted to learn to fight that you didn’t come to him. But this was not nearly as egregious a stain on your relationship as he thought it was.

“I don’t know. Think you should tell him. Show him your moves. Shit, you’ve gotten a couple good hits on me these last few days I’m sure you could give Red a run for his money.”

“I am not fighting Matt, Francis.” You say with an eye roll

Matt listens for the next hour as Frank talks you through a few hitting drills, then the two of you sparring. Frank is clearly taking it easy on you, but Matt is still impressed by what he could tell of what you were doing. He absolutely would need to take you on to really gauge your skills.

Franks's phone rings out just as you’re cooling down with some stretches.

He answers and speaks for a few minutes.

“Alright sorry to jet out of here but Madani has somethin urgent for me. You good to get home alright?”

“Yeah, thanks Frank. See you tomorrow.”

Frank gives you a fist bump and then disappears through the front door. Matt uses the opportunity to sneak in just before the door slams closed behind Frank.

You’re sitting on the floor undoing your wraps as he finally speaks up.

“If you wanted to opportunity to hit Frank, I’m sure I could have arranged it some other way”

Your spine goes icy cold at the sound of the voice behind you.

“Matt… I” you stumble to explain.

“It’s okay sweetheart,” Matt says, hands up in surrender before reaching up to remove his mask

“What are you doing here?” You ask, ready for him to chew you out for your little secret.

“Alright if I’m honest, do you promise you’ll be honest?” He asks

“Yes.”

“I followed you here because I thought you were cheating. With Frank. And I know now that’s not what’s happening. And I’m sorry for not just asking you.” He confesses with a sigh

“Oh Matt. I’m so sorry that I did anything to make you think that. That’s not at all what’s happening here.”

“I know. Been listening all night so I know. But I have to know why. Why are you doing this and why didn’t you tell me? And Frank? Really?”

“It’s a long story. Can I tell you while we walk home?”

And so you do. By the time you make it home to your apartment, you’ve come clean about the incident at work and running into Frank and how he’d been coaching you the last few weeks, and why you were so hesitant to ask Matt to be the one to do it.

Matt is oddly quiet through your explanation but nods as you speak. He finally speaks up just as you’re unlocking the front door.

“I forgive you. And I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t ask me. But now that I know, I am curious…”

“You want to see how much I’ve learned?”

He nods enthusiastically

“Fine. I guess since now you know you can join us tomorrow. If you want.”

“Perfect, I’ll be there”

He tucks you in to bed with a gentle kiss before heading out on patrol again, no longer clouded by doubts about your relationship.

—

When you arrive at the gym the next night, Matt is already there, looking extra adorable in his gray sweatpants and messy hair.

It’s all so familiar to him - the buzz of the fluorescent lights, the smell of sweat and heat, the gym mat sticking beneath his bare feet with every step. Just like Fogwells when he was a kid. He feels at home here.

“Hey sweetheart” he greets you with a kiss

“Hey Matty” you can’t help but smile whenever you see him after a long day “Frank texted me, he’s running late, but um do you want to help me warm up?”

Matt’s face lights up with excitement. “Yes. Okay. What does Frank normally have you do?”

“Two rounds of jab crosses on the bag. Three minutes each.”

“Okay, have at it”

You wrap your hands and begin hitting the bag. Not even thirty seconds in, Matt speaks up.

“Woah woah woah. Frank has been letting you hit like this and not correcting your form?”

“Yes. Wait, what the hell is wrong with my form?”

“You’re too far away from the bag. I can hear your shoulder joint rubbing every time you jab, which means you’re over-extending that left arm. Makes you put way too much energy into each hit, you’re gonna wear yourself out way faster. Here. Step closer.”

Matt moves behind you to help you correct your position, then lets you take a few more punches.

“See? More power, less effort.”

“Yeah. Any other pointers?”

Matt places his hands on your shoulders and places his feet right beside yours, pressing his body tight against your back. You never thought of boxing as particularly erotic, especially not with Frank teaching you. But with Matt’s breath against your ear, you can’t help but feel a chill run down your spine straight to your core.

“Go ahead, gimme a few more, I want to feel how your body moves. See just what else Frank has been teaching you wrong.”

“Matt…” the words die on your lips. You want to speak up and defend how kind Frank has been these past few weeks to spend the time to teach you, but Matt’s sweet whisper of encouragement has you forgetting anything else but him.

“C’mon sweetheart, don’t get all shy on me. You hesitate like this for Frank?”

“N..no.” you stutter, then weakly throw out a few more punches

Matt chuckles, knowing just how much he’s winding you up with so little.

“Put a little more power behind them. Don’t let me being here hold you back.”

You try to do as he says and throw some real hits, but Matt is still pressed right against you.

God, his body is warm usually, but being flush behind you as you move and hit, he practically feels like white-hot iron against you. Your heart is thumping out of your chest, and it’s not just from the few minutes of warming up you’ve done. You know Matt can hear it and is going to play you like a fiddle. His own wicked form of punishment for not telling him about your training.

His hands drop from your shoulders, running down your back lightly and coming to rest on your hips. He plants a soft kiss right under your ear.

“You’ve been working hard. Maybe Frank does know what he’s doing.”

He places a second kiss a little lower down your neck.

“You throw any actual punches at him yet?” he asks

“A few. Landed some of them too.”

A third, fourth, and fifth kiss down your neck, working his way toward your shoulder. His stubble is coarse against your skin, sending goosebumps across your flesh, your toes curling into the squishy mat beneath you.

“Mmm that’s my girl.” he says, as he begins sucking on your neck, his right hand snaking around to your front, tickling at the top of your leggings.

“Matty” you chastise

“What?” he feigns ignorance

“Matthew. Do not start something you can’t finish. Frank will be here any minute.”

“You said he’d be late.”

“His text said ‘a few minutes’ and that was already several minutes ago.”

“Well I can’t hear his heartbeat yet, so we’ve got at least five.”

You want to protest more, you really do, but you just can’t resist Matt.

Laughing low, he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, his steady breath against your exposed skin a stark contrast to the growing labor of your exhales. You spread your legs a little wider. He takes the invitation and reaches his hand fully into your leggings, using a finger to circle your sensitive bud.

You throw your head back onto his chest with a moan, his name falling from your lips in a breathy whisper.

He continues to suck on your neck as works at your core, finally sliding a finger inside you, then another.

You reach forward to grab the boxing bag for stability, Matt’s touch causing you to writhe enough that you’re not sure you’re able to stay standing without it. As you thrash against him, he inhales deeply, a mix of your natural scent and your arousal consuming his lungs.

In order to get you exactly where he wants you, he keeps a quick pace, knowing he does not have a lot of time. His rhythm never falters, stroking you over and over in that perfect spongy spot inside you. It’s not long before you're coming apart with a cry of his name.

Just as your head stops spinning and you’re returning to earth, Matt is turning you around and connecting his lips with yours. So hungry to have you, he guides you back a few steps, never breaking his lips from yours, and pushes you against the wall behind you.

His kisses grow more and more desperate, sending an electric tingle down your spine, though that could also be because the wall behind you is made of mirrors and the glass is cool against the heated skin not protected by your sports bra.

As soon as you make contact with the wall, his hands are back on your hips, pushing your leggings and panties down in a heap on the sticky mat beneath you. His clothes soon follow.

You throw your leg up and around his hip, opening yourself to him. An offer he quickly accepts. A soft gasp simultaneously escapes both your lips, the relief between the two of you as he guides himself slowly into your wet and eager core until he’s fully sheathed inside you. Restless fingers reach down to wrap your other leg around him, now fully holding you in the air against the mirrored wall behind you.

He repeats the pace of his fingers only moments ago and slams into you harshly and quickly, over and over again, desperate to feel you release around him again, knowing Frank could appear at any moment.

God, your familiar warm heat is absolute perfection, he thinks as he continues to bury himself into you over and over again. You’re still incredibly worked up from your previous climax and it takes just a few thrusts for you to be close again. The way your body is clamping around him and tensing lets him know just how close to ecstasy you are again.

Matt leans forward and you can feel his quickening breath against your ear once more.

“Damnit sweetheart, you scared me so bad. Made me think I was sharing you with someone else.” he grunts as he continues to drive his hips against yours.

“No Matty. I’m yours. Only yours — oh God. I promise.” you whimper back, arching into him further.

“Good. But to make sure you don’t forget, I’m gonna cum inside you, right now and every single night before you leave. So I’m dripping out of you after every hit, every kick. No matter how much Frank trains you. So you remember exactly who. You. Belong to.” he growls lowly against your skin, pushing you even more firmly against the cool glass with every thrust.

“Yes. Please Matt — Fuck. I’m all yours. I promise. Please.”

He thrusts one more time before he cums with a rumble of your name, his arms tightening around you, holding you impossibly close as he releases inside you just as he promised.

As he grinds against you in just the right way to hit that perfect spot one more time, your own orgasm sweeps over you. Your nails dig into his back, holding on to him as you let go, his harsh thrusts now slowed just enough so he can keep the both of you upright.

He feels you release, causing a final low groan from him, slowing down his pace, as your molten pleasure fades away. Still consumed by him and the feel of him holding you close, you lean your head back to rest against the mirror behind you as you catch your breath. Just as you feel like fully slumping against him, he sets you down gently.

You don't even really register him pulling away from you until he speaks.

“Might want to put your pants back on. Frank’s a block away and I don’t think you want him to know how I warmed you up before he got here.”

You open your eyes and see that Matt is already dressed, a smirk painted across his face as he listens to you scramble to put your clothes on.

Just as you’re adjusting your leggings back in to place, Frank and his large frame enter the gym.

“Hey –” he pauses at the sight of you and Matt in front of him, both sweaty and still panting a little.

“Hmmm. Guess Red knows now.” Frank grumbles

But then his eyes go wide.

“You wanna tell me what that’s about?” he asks with a point of his finger.

You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks as you turn behind you to see what he’s asking about. The mirror is covered in smudges that look vaguely like the outline shape of your body.

“We don’t talk about what happens at fight club…” Matt jokes as you bury your face in your hands in embarrassment.

My Masterlist

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #daredevil #frank castle #frank castle x reader #charlie cox #nmcu fic #mcu fic #daredevil fic #matt murdock x you #marvel daredevil #daredevil imagine

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gjenkatarot · 3 months

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Tarot masterlist | Exchange readings | Paid readings

I don't have Ni-ki's exact birth time, so the analysis might not be super precise because I can't determine his ascendant or which houses each planet is in. Just to be clear, I'm not a pro astrologer, so don't take this too seriously. It's just for fun!

Ni-ki's Sun in Sagittarius reflects his love for adventure and deep contemplation about life. He's always curious and eager to learn new things, driven by a strong urge to uncover the truth about the world. However, this quest for knowledge sometimes leaves him feeling restless as he searches for deeper meanings. The 17th-degree placement of his Sun hints at a potential for fame or recognition, suggesting he possesses natural talents or charms that catch people's attention.

His Moon in Pisces reveals his caring and imaginative nature, deeply connected to his emotions and sensitive to others' feelings. Ni-ki prioritizes others' well-being over his own, ensuring everyone around him is okay. Despite his love for beauty and art, represented by his Moon at the 26th degree in Taurus, he may struggle with overwhelming emotions due to his deep sensitivity.

The square aspect between his Sun and Moon indicates an inner struggle between his desire for freedom and truth, and his need for emotional connection and understanding. This conflict often leaves him feeling conflicted about his wants and needs in life.

Ni-ki's Sun in Sagittarius in a trine aspect to Saturn in Leo at 11 degrees showcases his strong sense of self-discipline and ambition. This blend of disciplined ambition and optimism allows him to pursue his goals with determination while maintaining a sense of adventure and enthusiasm, potentially leading to success and stability, especially in areas related to self-expression and creativity.

With the Sun in Sagittarius sextile Neptune in Aquarius, Ni-ki possesses a harmonious blend of idealism, creativity, and humanitarianism. He's imaginative, intuitive, and spiritually attuned, driven by a desire to make a positive impact on the world. This aspect enhances his ability to inspire others and bring his visionary ideas into reality, finding fulfillment through activities that allow him to explore spirituality, express creativity, and contribute to society's greater good.

Ni-ki's Sun in Sagittarius in conjunction with Pluto in Sagittarius signifies a deep sense of personal power and intensity, driving him to uncover hidden truths and transform his beliefs with unwavering determination. This aspect indicates resilience and the ability to undergo profound personal growth and regeneration, potentially leading to intense periods of self-examination and identity transformation.

His Mercury in Scorpio at 26 degrees suggests a sharp mind keen on discovering psychological depths. The trine aspect between his Moon in Pisces and Mercury in Scorpio enhances his communication skills, allowing him to express himself with empathy and authenticity. Ni-ki excels in artistic or literary pursuits, channeling his deep emotions, imaginative visions, and penetrating insights into meaningful forms of expression.

Ni-ki, with Mercury in Scorpio sextile Chiron in Aquarius, possesses a natural gift for communicating with profound depth and insight, particularly concerning matters of healing and personal growth. His innate understanding of his own wounds and those of others allows him to offer guidance and support through his words and insights. Ni-ki excels in connecting with others on a deep emotional level, fostering a sense of understanding and empathy in his interactions.

Ni-ki, with Mercury in Scorpio sextile Venus in Capricorn, communicates his feelings and thoughts with intensity, sincerity, and emotional authenticity. His communication style is marked by clarity, persuasiveness, and effectiveness, fostering strong connections with others. This aspect reveals his keen understanding of relationship dynamics and an intuitive grasp of others' needs and desires. Ni-ki tends to build relationships on a foundation of mutual respect, shared goals, and a sense of responsibility, creating bonds that are both meaningful and enduring.

With his Venus in Capricorn at 26 degrees, Ni-ki values security, tradition, and long-term commitments in love. He expresses affection in a practical and grounded manner, showing love through acts of service, practical gestures, or emotional support. Despite appreciating beauty and elegance, he finds pleasure in indulging his senses while maintaining a refined aesthetic sense.

Ni-ki's Venus in Capricorn conjunct Chiron points to potential deep emotional wounds in his romantic life. This aspect signifies a journey of healing, particularly related to issues of self-worth, love, and intimacy. Ni-ki is naturally drawn to those who share similar emotional struggles, displaying a strong desire to aid in their healing and fulfilment. Creatively, he finds solace through art, music, or poetry, using these mediums to process and express emotional pain. Ni-ki may be attracted to partners who embody uniqueness and eccentricity. Such relationships play a vital role in his healing journey, allowing him to embrace his individuality and seek fulfilment through non-traditional dynamics.

The square aspect between his Moon in Pisces and Pluto in Sagittarius suggests Ni-ki may experience intense emotional reactions and deep psychological insights, potentially encountering challenges related to trust, intimacy, or sharing his deepest feelings with others. This can also bring up issues with your mother, though not always. This aspect encourages him to confront and transform deep-seated emotional patterns or fears, leading to significant personal growth and empowerment.

With the Moon in Pisces sextile Chiron in Aquarius, Ni-ki possesses a natural ability to channel his emotional sensitivity and intuition into healing, connecting with others on a profound level to offer comfort and support. This aspect suggests a draw to unconventional approaches to healing and personal growth, finding solace in expressing his authentic self in unique ways.

Ni-ki's Mars in Taurus, opposite Jupiter in Scorpio, may lead to inner conflicts between stability and security, and the urge for expansion and growth. He may struggle with balancing practicality with adventurous risk-taking, potentially experiencing excessiveness or overextension in pursuit of his goals.

With Mars in Taurus squaring Saturn in Leo, Ni-ki may face frustration and obstacles in asserting himself and pursuing his ambitions. Saturn's influence may create delays or setbacks, requiring him to cultivate patience, discipline, and persistence to overcome adversity.

Ni-ki's Mars in Taurus sextile Uranus in Pisces suggests he finds creative ways to pursue his goals, embracing unexpected changes and adjusting plans accordingly. His dynamic and energetic approach to life inspires others to embrace their uniqueness and explore new possibilities.

With Jupiter in Scorpio square Neptune in Aquarius, Ni-ki may grapple with discerning reality from fantasy, potentially experiencing disillusionment or disappointment when expectations aren't grounded in reality. However, this aspect also inspires creativity, spiritual growth, and artistic expression, encouraging him to balance dreams with grounded action.

The North Node at 11 degrees Aries indicates Ni-ki's life purpose involves taking bold initiatives and embracing new beginnings with confidence. The trine aspect between Saturn in Leo and the North Node in Aries brings stability and discipline to his journey, aligning his efforts with his soul's evolutionary path.

With Juno in Gemini opposing the Sun in Sagittarius, Ni-ki may face challenges in partnerships due to differences in beliefs or communication styles. However, the trine aspect between Juno in Gemini and Neptune in Aquarius facilitates open communication and a shared vision within relationships, fostering empathy, compassion, and understanding.

♡

#astrology #enhypen #enhypen niki #kpop #kpop astrology #celebrity readings #enhypen astrology #ni-ki #enhypen nishimura riki #natal chart analysis #astrology tumblr #astrology readings #astro notes #astro observations #astro community #divination

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weskin-time · 1 year

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Little Moments

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x GN!Reader

the two of you share a cold morning

It was getting colder every morning. Not that you cared, you welcomed it in fact, you loved the way the chills kissed your nose and cheeks, the way the wind wrapped itself around you and hugged you, you loved the cold.

You took a inhale, the cold stinging your throat and lungs making it feel raw, before exhaling a cloud of steam. You were bundled up on your porch overlooking a forest covered in a thin blanket of fresh snow, it hung to the grass like dew drops and clung to the trees as if they’ve been sprinkled with powdered sugar. The dawn air filled with bird song and you tugged the blanket closer to your pajama wearing body as you leaned against the railing to gaze into the forest, movement in the woods made you believe you saw a wild rabbit scampering along.

It was peaceful. It was rare to have these moments where you could just take in everything, you’ve learned to cherish them when they happened. In your line of work things could change at the last second and upend your life as you know it at the drop of a hat, you could be deployed out thousands of miles away, you could be shot or seriously hurt, or you could loose your life. The one thing you feared was dying on the field, you couldn’t do that to your boyfriend, he’s already been through so much, lost too much, you didn’t care if you lost him you just cared that he couldn’t loose you. Well you did care if you lost him, you don’t know how you could live with yourself if he was ripped from you.

“Thought i could find you out here.” Speak of the devil and he shall arrive. You turn your head to see your boyfriend coming out of the house and closing the sliding glass door behind him. His scratchy voice warmed your cheeks.

He was bundled up too, he had his baklava on, a thick pull over black hoodie, and grey sweatpants. You totally didn’t stare as he walked over to you and leaned against the railing next to you.

You shifted so you could be closer to him and wrapped the blanket around his larger frame. Dropping your hand back down next to his you leaned your head against his shoulder. There was nothing. Just this peaceful moment, enjoying the morning together.

He leaned in closer to you as you felt his hand move next to yours, you kept it still and waited for his next move. You knew he struggled with initiating contact so you took your time with him. You knew being with him wasn’t going to be easy, you knew it from the start and he kept reminding you over and over again, telling you you deserved someone better, but he was trying for you. You didn’t care if this would be different from your past relationships, you didn’t mind having to take things slow with him, you didn’t care if he had nightmares and you had to help him, you would do it for him. You loved him. You reminded him every time that you did, and while he struggled to say it back to you you knew he loved you too. In little ways he showed it, making you tea in the morning, prioritizing you on the field, clearing and taking care of your weapons, in little ways he showed it. You took it slow for him, to let him grow and get comfortable being loved, it had been a long while since he had been loved.

Here you were in a hoodie of his that dwarfed you, with a blanket wrapped around each other as you stare out into the morning. His fingers twitch again and you feel his warm hand wrap his pinky around yours. It was so small, but it was a big leap for him. Your chest swelled with pride and butterflies as you squeezed his pinky with your own trying to reassure him that this was okay and he didn’t have to push himself anymore than this.

Light snow began to flutter from the sky, you two watched as it made its soft way down to the trees and the grass. You knew he loved you. You knew he would do anything for you. Warmth filled the blanket covering you two as you stared out into the woods, your cheek on his shoulder, and your pinkies intertwined.

#tezi post #mw2 imagine #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #mw2 headcanons #call of duty mw2 #mw2 #simon ghost riley x reader #cod imagine #cod x reader #cod simon riley #mw2 ghost

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ad-hawkeye · 12 days

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Alkaid: How Our Virtues Can Create Our Greatest Flaws

When you think of Alkaid, you think of the following concepts: protection, freedom, trust, and honesty.

Alkaid wants to protect those he loves. He cherishes the idea of one's freedom and autonomy. He believes in the concepts of trust and honesty.

Alkaid, at his core, is a virtuous person with good intentions. However, issues arise when his values contradict and clash with one another, or when he is too scared to trust or be honest.

As for clashing values, consider the following scenarios. Alkaid wants to protect someone, but what if protecting them comes at the cost of their autonomy and freedom? Alkaid wants to be honest, but what if being honest puts someone in danger? In these scenarios, Alkaid's morals are being pitted against each other. He values freedom. He values honesty. He values the safety of his loved ones. He has to willingly sacrifice one of his values in order to pursue another one.

And more often than not, he will always prioritize the safety of his loved ones. After all, it's better to argue with a living person than it is to grieve over a corpse.

As a result of this mindset, his virtues wind up creating his greatest flaws.

And ultimately while I think these concepts (trust, honesty, freedom, and protection) can all contradict one another, Alkaid's primary issue amongst these concepts is with trust. Trusting that being honest won't scare someone away. Trusting when they say they'll be okay, and that they don't need protection for one reason or another. Trusting that they don't want him to sacrifice himself for their well being.

It's putting his whole self into the hands of another. Losing the comforting certainty of knowing what will happen in a controlled situation.

And I think modern Alkaid is especially "flawed" because of these issues with trust. He has seen the worst in people. He has prevented family friends from being poisoned. He was convinced he was being watched as a child, but no one would be honest with him as to why. He always expects the worst and wants to protect his loved ones from it, even if it means stooping to said "worst" himself. He will do things he dislikes if it means keeping his loved ones safe.

If this means choosing one of his morals over another if the situation calls for it, then so be it.

And it is because of this that Alkaid is convinced he has a bad, "other side"... when in reality this is just normal, human nature. It's impossible to be purely ethical. It's impossible to make the right decisions all the time. It's impossible to be perfect.

Eden Alkaid is similarly flawed, and was manipulated to be distrustful and afraid of people. It's why his whole arc is one of learning to trust again.

My prediction? Trust will be a major theme in Alkaid's stories moving forward. We will also see the clashing values of honesty, freedom, and protection occur again. Alkaid has nothing but good intentions, but constantly struggles with the concept of trusting others, trusting himself, and being left with choices that contradict his own values.

And MC? She's also imperfect. She also has her own secrets. She also makes morally ambiguous decisions for a greater good.

And most importantly, she tells Alkaid that she accepts the whole him.

It's okay to trust. It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to be human.

#lovebrush chronicles #alkaid mcgrath #meta #addy rambles #ogughh this was to organize my thoughts hi

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variousficss · 6 months

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Bucky Barnes - set of 2 [part 8]

summary: distant Buck.

AN: let me know if you wanna be tagged! 😊

next >>

There are some habits we acquire throughout life, and it's almost impossible to let them go. We all have routines, whether organized or not, prioritized or not; it's impossible for every day to be absolutely different from the previous one. Living with Bucky, you learned to love the predictability that being close to the soldier brought. He always woke up early, exercised for an hour, and had a protein bar. Then, he would check the motorcycle, read a chapter from the book you lent him, and prepare a more substantial breakfast. But with both of you often spending the night at each other's places, Bucky also had to adapt to your routine. You didn't exercise every day, let alone have a decent breakfast, but Bucky didn't feel bothered by that. When he came to your place, he chose to go for a run instead of exercising indoors to avoid waking you up too early. Then, he would prepare breakfast for both of you and wouldn't read anything. He had this habit that you had no idea about, which was sitting on the living room couch in silence to listen to your heartbeat. Even a room away, he could hear how your heart beat fast, and your breathing was calm. It was soothing. Assuring. You were alive.

But being a super soldier and living in a world where villains also followed their routine of messing with the world, you and Bucky couldn't always keep up. So, over time, you started adapting to his routines. To the point of nullifying yourself. Fitting into Bucky's routine and leaving yours in the background was easier and the best way to keep him close. The best way for you to continue seeing him.

You continue the routine of training together for exactly 1 hour every week, but Bucky continues to get busier and busier. More necessary for others. Needing to donate more and more of himself to the missions, and coming back more and more injured from each one of them. Contrary to his routine, Bucky started coming to your house less and less when he returned injured.

"You gonna head to YN's place after this?" Sam asked, as the two got on the jet, heading home after taking a beating from some super soldiers. At least they managed to win.

Bucky let out a heavy sigh. "Nah, not tonight."

Sam raised an eyebrow, knowing there was more beneath the surface. "Everything okay between you two?"

Bucky hummed in response, clearly not wanting to talk about it. The words of the super soldiers he encountered clawed at the edges of his consciousness.

"You think they'd want you now, with all those bodies you've got on your record?" one of the adversaries smirked at him. "You're just a really good weapon. The most manipulable of all. It's only a matter of time before you destroy everything good around you. That's just what you know. You're just a soldier ready to comply."

Without knowing any of this, you waited for him at your house, but Bucky didn't show up. Didn't even call. He didn't even send a message. He didn't even respond to your calls or messages. The unspoken distance between the two of you now had a new layer: the echoes of the super soldiers' words echoing in Bucky's mind, pushing him further into the isolation he believed you deserved. The soldiers were right. He was going to destroy everything good he had sooner or later. You couldn't be near when he finally sank.

the same day:

the day after

2 days later

7 days later

8 days later

9 days later

Tag list: @almosttoopizza @creat0r-cat @aesthetic0cherryblossom @cjand10 @sapphirebarnes @nouk1998 @unaxv

#bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x oc #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes #bucky fic recs #bucky fic #fluff bucky #bucky x female reader #bucky angst #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky x you

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acowardinmordor · 1 year

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I'm never going to write it, so here, enjoy some suffering as I combine multiple fics and tropes into a bouillabaisse of angst.

----

Eddie isn't quite dead when Steve, Robin and Nancy get back to them. Since the gates are starting to weaken, it's a mad rush to get everyone through. Steve gets Nancy and Dustin through so they can at least sort of help catch Eddie -- who is entirely unconscious and lacking a lot of blood. The gate is narrowing, the Upside Down is trembling, and Steve doesn't ask, just hefts Robin up and gets her through.

She makes it, but by the time she lands and looks up to yell for him to haul ass, everyone can tell that Steve won't make it through. The gate is too narrow and they don't know, they won't risk finding out what happens if the gate closes on him.

It's closing with exponential decay, so the slow creep it started with becomes a rush, and he yells for them to get to the damn hospital.

Then he's gone.

And look, they're furious and horrified and yes, they want to go after him right this second, but Eddie is dying and Dustin's leg is broken, and they don't even know if Max is okay. Besides, its not like they know how to open a gate.

It's a few days before Team Cali gets to Hawkins, and everyone, including Max in three casts begs El to open a gate.

And she can't. Something about how Henry died, something about the hivemind and the interconnection to the whole world. She knows it's still there, but she can't reach it. She can't find Steve either.

So a few days becomes a week, and Will won't answer questions, because he knows what its like to be alone there, and telling the others when there's no hope of rescue is cruel.

Then Eddie wakes up, coherent for the first time after the infection and the fever and the pain meds. They tell him, and they try to prevent the survivor's guilt - which was already awful - from destroying him. Robin gets it. She was the last through. Steve could have gone first and left her there, but they both know he never would.

They bond over it in the next few weeks as he recovers and leaves the hospital with a few hundred stitches.

After a month, they hold a small memorial, even though they haven't reported it. Without a body, it would take more paperwork than any of them can bear to complete.

The G-men took the Munson trailer, so he, Robin and Wayne are at Harrington's place for now. And if Eddie snoops a little when the others are at work, learning more about this idiot that died instead of him, its understandable.

The way he has all the scraps of his relationship with Nancy, dwarfed by the notes and dumb gifts and mementos of the gremlins. The enormous first aid kit, right next to the enormous supply of hair spray. The box of things from before '83, shoved in a corner, but not forgotten. Post its with important dates. A bank statement showing that his parents left him the house, but no money to cover upkeep or taxes. A scratchy budget where Steve so obviously prioritized his friends over himself.

Eddie learns about Steve Harrington and wishes he could trade places. Eddie is selfish and an asshole and a failure, and he isn't worth what it cost to save his life.

No matter what Robin says about being last through, Eddie knows it must have taken longer to move him, so if it wasn't for Eddie, Steve would have made it. If Eddie had died instead of clinging to life --

When Eddie develops a cough, everyone winces in sympathy as his still achy wounds protest the movement. When his cough gets worse, they consider contacting Owens about Upside Down pathogens.

When he has a coughing fit while the others are out, and ends up with a few blood stained petals in his hand, it takes a few seconds for him to understand.

It takes a few more for it to really land.

He spends the next hour over the toilet, first vomiting, then dry heaving as he sobs.

Because see, Hanahaki might be rare and a remnant of ancient magics, but it's well studied. The sufferer has to be in love and pining. They have to have no hope of the person they love ever reciprocating.

It isn't always fatal. If they confess, and they're rejected, they'll die within a day. If they confess, and it's reciprocated, the flowers fade within a day. If they fall out of love, the flowers fade within a week. If they stay silent they'll live another month from the first petals.

There is a surgery that can remove the affliction and the affection. It's safe, it's a priority treatment in every hospital, and the only side effect is emotional disconnection from the person who caused it.

But none of that is what has Eddie sobbing.

Cause see there's another thing that science knows for sure. Hanahaki will not, does not, absolutely cannot bloom if the person they love is dead.

#steddie #Eddie Munson #my writing #except not really #someone else can have this though #hanahaki #angst

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sideburndanny · 2 years

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Okay, I don’t know how true this is, but if it is, we only barely dodged a bullet.

I don’t believe for a picosecond that David Zaslav and his yes-men ever intended to bring back the shows they pulled; the fact that they went out of their way to go through all their websites and social media profiles to memory-hole every last piece of evidence that those shows ever existed should have made that loud and clear.

I can just tell how confident they were that nobody would notice or care. “It’s just a bunch of cartoons; it’s not like we’re canceling stuff people actually watch like White People Renovating Houses or Rednecks Doing Nothing in Particular.” They were so confident about their decision that they didn’t even do it professionally, just announcing it out of the blue without telling anyone beforehand and wording the announcement so vaguely that nobody had any way of knowing that the shows would specifically be deleted later that same day.

This shouldn’t have come as a surprise, since Mr. Zaslav has long epitomized the idea of “failing upward”; he’s the brain trust that restructured the once-aptly named Discovery and Learning Channels to center around trashy, exploitative reality shows, prioritizing short-term profits over any kind of stable model.

He spent years scoffing at other entertainment giants for daring to focus on scripted content which he smugly dismissed as a thing of the past, confident that his primary focus, a niche built on fleeting trends and pandering to very specific audiences to the exclusion of everyone else, would be the future of entertainment and the focal point of all pop culture.

After decades of creating nothing of substance, skating by on the moderate successes of low-risk-low-reward crap, and endlessly patting himself on the back for so doing, Zaslav suddenly had one of the biggest entertainment companies in the world foisted on him by the corporate robots at AT&T desperate to offload an unwise investment, and like a bear cub being handed a PlayStation controller, he didn’t have the first clue what to do with it.

Warner Bros was defined by scripted content that required actual talent and effort to make, and those were nowhere near Zaslav’s wheelhouse. Could this, people thought, be the day that he actually puts in the work to have his company create something of worthy impact to our culture? FUCK NO! Instead, he took the easy route by, quoth John Oliver, “burning down my company for the insurance money.”

Unfortunately, he was so used to nobody knowing or caring who he is that he never once considered that people would actually have reason pay attention to him this time, that if he goes out of his way to destroy the hard work of so many talented people purely out of arrogant refusal to admit he was wrong, of fucking course we’ll all notice!

If the above tweet is telling the truth, we can at least be glad that our voices are being heard and the people at the top can take notice. The HBO Max Purge wound up being such a PR nightmare and made the folks at Discovery so hated among the public that they actually caved and walked back their disastrous decision that they had been so adamant in achieving just the previous day. You can absolutely fuck off if that doesn’t prove that protesting works.

#hbo max

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thesoftestirises · 2 years

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love, love, love

♡ pairing: steven x reader ♡ rating : g ♡ word count : 1k ♡ warnings : tooth rotting fluff, steven trying to give the reader a hickey ♡ summary : you had gotten okay with being alone. then steven came along and became the first person in your life to treat you like a priority.

The couch in the museum’s staff break room was far too small for two people to be lying down and cuddling in, but you and Steven had made it work anyways. The pair of you pressed yourselves nose to nose and intertwined your legs so tightly that you no longer knew where you ended and he began. The position was perhaps a bit compromising, but whenever you were having a bad day, all you wanted was to stop being you and to melt into him. And that was what you wanted at this moment. To lose yourself in his embrace and the warmth of his smile.

“You are so beautiful,” Steven said as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and looked at you with an uncharacteristically serious expression. “How on earth did heaven lose you?”

You tossed your head back and laughed at his cheesiness. “I crawled my way out of hell.”

“Maybe. You’ll be the death of me, that’s for certain,” he said, a soft smile playing on the corners of his lips. “God, you really are just so gorgeous.”

You pushed at his shoulder and looked away, frowning at him as he chuckled in response to your embarrassment.

“What about you? You’re an angel,” you murmured, reaching out to thread your fingers through Steven’s dark curls.

“Am not, you just think that because you’re fond of me,” he said, his voice sweet and lilting.

“No, I’m sure most people would agree with me,” you said. “You’re the kindest person I know. And you have to know how good looking you are. I mean, certainly you own a mirror?”

A shy smile crept across Steven’s face as he shook his head. “Oi, stop trying to distract me. We were talking about you.”

“We can do both.”

“I’d much rather focus on you.”

You snorted quietly and carefully threaded your fingers through his dark curls. You pressed your lips to his temple briefly before moving down and spreading gentle kisses across the apples of his cheeks as he let out little giggles. “You remind me of a golden retriever, you know that?”

“I’d love to be your guard dog. Woof,” he said with a wink, pulling you in closer and biting softly at your neck.

“I don’t think a golden retriever would make a very good guard dog,” you pointed out, turning your head to give him better access. You sighed as he licked and scraped his teeth against the spot above your collarbone he knew to be most sensitive. “Steven, someone could walk in.”

“No one’s going to walk in. And if they do, let them,” he shrugged. “I love you and the whole world can bear witness.”

You didn’t have any words, sometimes. Steven seemed to know what you needed intuitively and he never hesitated to act. Before Steven, you had never felt like anyone’s ‘number one’. Your friends had other friends they prioritized over you and the men you had dated didn’t seem to care enough about you to do more than the bare minimum. There was no one you felt comfortable calling when you were crumbling from the inside. There was no one who had made the effort to understand you. No one who laughed at all your jokes or was into the things you were into.

You had learned to accept that. It was difficult, but you learned to be independent. To take care of yourself and not depend on other people. You had gotten okay with being alone.

Then Steven came crashing into your life, and he loved you in the same way he breathed. Naturally and constantly.

He listened to your playlists, texted you ‘good morning’ every day, and planned outings for the two of you. He would walk you home from work whenever his schedule allowed, and he cheered you on whenever you decided to try something new and ambitious. He would never let you suffer alone when you were sick, even if it put himself at risk of catching whatever you had. Steven treated you so tenderly, you felt like he genuinely did think of you as a treasure.

And it made you feel alive.

“Come here, love,” Steven said, maneuvering you to lay on top of him. He placed a hand against the small of your back and chuckled at your surprised squeak. “You’re not going anywhere until I see a genuine smile on that perfect face.”

You spluttered and hid your face in your hands, causing him to let out a bigger laugh. “Stop that!”

“I’ll stop when it stops being true,” he hummed in response, brushing your hair away from your face. He watched you close your eyes and lay your cheek against his chest, a contented sigh leaving your lips as the melody of his heartbeat filled your ears.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he whispered. You blinked up at him silently, prompting him to continue. “You’re perfect the way you are. Never let anyone, including yourself, say otherwise.”

You nodded, your lips wobbling before you buried your face in his chest and started crying. He stroked your hair, silently encouraging you to let it all out.

“You’re so brave. I know you don’t think it, but you are. You’re smart, and kind, and you’re riotously funny. No one makes me laugh like you do. It’s a real pity that you don’t see yourself the way I do,” he said, his voice soft as he ran his fingertips across the length of your spine. “But I’m happy to remind you why I love you every day.”

“I love you too, Steven. You’re... God, you’re everything I’ve ever needed,” you said, speaking into the fabric of his cable knit sweater.

“We’re the perfect duo, aren’t we? Ridiculously codependent.”

You laughed wetly and wrapped your arms around him even tighter, lifting your chin up to look into Steven’s sparkling doe eyes. “I wake up every day and thank God that I have you.”

Steven smiled, a soft blush spreading across his cheeks. He leaned down and pressed your lips together, sending tingles to your toes.

“As do I, love,” he whispered against your mouth. “As do I.”

thank you for reading ♡ you can find my masterlist here

#steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #moon knight x reader #steven grant fanfic #marc spector fanfic #oscar isaac #steven grant imagine #marc spector imagine #moon knight #moon knight fanfic

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wibble-wobbegong · 1 year

Text

little ramble about will

i wish there wasn’t such a heavy association that heroism = violence. even if that violence is for positive intent, it isn’t a requirement to becoming a hero or a savior or freeing himself from constant victimization.

will has the unique trait of never engaging in violence throughout the show. every character has a different relationship with violence and what the line is for when it needs to be used. el often reacts with violence regarding her emotions and to protect her friends. hopper will use violence to get what he wants from people. mike is adamantly against all violence unless it’s for the sake of protecting others. almost every character has some sort of line they’ll get to from when violence isn’t okay to when it is okay. will doesn’t have that. will can’t shoot the demogorgon, he offers his friendship to dart knowing he’s a creature from the UD which he’s never had a good experience with, the only time he ever actually physically hurts something is when he’s throwing fireworks at the meat flayer which is a creature he knows isn’t alive and can’t feel real pain. it’s made of dead people. he isn’t actually hurting anyone by helping take down the meat flayer.

will is steadfastly against violence to the point where he won’t even hurt living creatures he knows are dangerous. will, while struggling against the hold of the mind flayer, still feels such intense guilt about being forced to lead the demodogs to the lab that he breaks through the possession again. it takes deep emotional reactions for him to be able to do this, as we see with him only reacting to the people closest to him and through mike’s monologue. he feels guilt for what he’s done deep inside him in a way that allowed him to overcome the possession. he was struggling to recognize his own mom at this point, but he still broke through to say sorry. will’s feelings about violence run to the very core of his person, it’s something that has not changed over the entire course of the show.

will’s path to becoming a hero doesn’t mean he learns to use violence to protect others. will’s hero arc doesn’t come from protecting others or being their savior. he’s already done that, over and over and over. he tried to sacrifice himself in S2, he ignored his own feelings in S3 and embraced the feeling the MF triggered so he could warn others. he has been protecting others, just through non-violent means. him being a central victim doesn’t erase the way he has been selflessly protecting people just like how him not using violence doesn’t get rid of that fact either.

will’s path to heroism has nothing to do with violence or protecting others. what he needs to learn in order to be a hero is selfishness. he needs to learn to care about himself as much as he cares about others. he needs to learn that he doesn’t need to give up everything about himself to protect others. his life is important. his feelings are important. his safety is important beyond just henry wanting him. will doesn’t see himself as worthy of escaping this constant cycle of giving himself up to protect other people. he cares so much and he’d give up everything to keep the people he loves safe. there’s someone in this story who wants him to be this way, who benefits from his sacrifice.

if will wants to be a hero and finally escape this ever present victim-status then he needs to be selfish. there are so many important things he can achieve through this, but the most pressing one is this: henry wants him to give up. henry wants him to sacrifice himself to protect the town. henry has always been going after will because he needs him, and if will tries to give himself up because henry will leave other people alone then he will have doomed the entire world. in that act of selfless protection of others, he’s giving henry the exact weapon he needs to continue his plan. what will needs, more than anything, is to be selfish. he needs to prioritize himself. he needs to learn to love himself because he loves others.

defeating henry doesn’t come through violence either. that clearly doesn’t work, based on what we’ve been shown. henry has been subjected to violence his entire life and not once did it prevent him from ending up where he is. no attempts to kill him have worked. will needs to break through to henry’s emotions and show him the compassion he’s never experienced. he shouldn’t forgive henry, he shouldn’t say he loves henry or anything, but he should show that same kindness he’s always had within him. henry doesn’t deserve any type of redemption arc, he doesn’t deserve to be saved, but he deserves to be understood. listened to. it won’t be violence that ends henry, but will’s compassion.

everything will needs to be a hero lies in loving himself. that’s how he can protect others. that’s how he can defeat henry and free himself of his most prominent abuser. it doesn’t lie in violence but in love, and i don’t think those concepts coexist in will’s mind.

#anyway #sorry i have strong feelings about this #will byers #will analysis #this is also how we get byler endgame btw

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mari-lair · 3 months

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the recent chapter was decent, but when I realised akane wasn't the yoshiro after convincing myself he was for a month i had to close the tab stare at the ground and like. process for a few seconds. how i wish he had been... i did enjoy mirai trying to save his life though, and teru recognising that they hadn't been going to their full strength because maybe they didn't care about the yoshiro, because as you said, they had been presented at a higher level and we didn't see that in chapter 109

I always had doubts about him being the Yorishiro, with Akane having 2 bodies and the supernatural one already being stabbed in the chest before, so even that reveal was more of a "oh, okay. Makes sense" feeling.

It's... kind of sad... my experience with this chapter. With this arc.

The only thing I like is Mirai saving Akane, and how rich with character quirks, values, and experiences, Akane's fight with Tsukasa is, it goes beyond just his judo skills (and Elise will talk about it when she has the time) But I'll be honest, I have no hope for this arc, no wish to think about it and theorize it or anything.

I am here for terukaneaoi and the way Aoi hasn't shown up even as a small panel since the clock was frozen is... very telling... Akane's 'betrayal' with Teru also saddens me, for the more I look at it, the more clear it becomes that it is a tool, not a conflict they planned as a means to clash ideals, learn more about each other, or strengthen/restructure bonds (like Aoikane in chap 69 or Kou and Teru in chap 87). When Aidairo does want to create character conflict, they are amazing at it! Which makes Akane and teru feel... that much weirder.

I never expected Teru to jump and try to help Akane, he is handcuffed and without his sword, but I did expect him to have some kind of thought about the situation while he watched Akane be beaten up in front of him.

We get no reaction panel about what he thought of the fight. At all. Akane isn't in immediate danger when we do see his thoughts but it still feels... Strange to frame chapter 108 in a way that highlights how much Akane's betrayal affects Teru on a personal level, to make chap 109's gag revolve around Teru being THAT angry with Akane and then... Make Teru not spare Akane a single thought.

Teru even takes into consideration Nene's lifespan, but absolutely nothing about Akane. No cursing him. No "oh he did almost die like I wished for, idk how to feel a bout that". No "it feels strange to not be able to do anything, just watch". No, "I guess he is a clock keeper not the boy i thought I knew". No "i'm glad he is not dead". Not even "he should have died", as cruel as it sounds, it would still make way more sense than just... Nothing.

He doesn't even refer to Akane by name.

Teru is someone who has taken things personally since his very introduction, unused to change and prioritizing his relationships over his duties (not exorcising Hanako so Kou doesn't get mad at him. Putting the intire school at risk cause Tiara wanted him to clean up a mokke in chap 39. Letting Akane punch him in chap 71, etc-)

He is pathetic and unexperienced when he takes things personally, he wants to be reliable and admired, he doesn't know how to handle not getting what he wants (especially with Akane, who always obeys). Even when he tries to be detached his pathetic nature still show up. It had been consistent.

But the guy that locked himself in his bedroom and hid under the covers for a whole day after his fight with Kou seemingly got over Akane betraying him in what must have been 1 hour without talking about it ? I know Akane is not as important to Teru as his family but it's insane that he got over it without even thinking about it or being able to move in any way to let his frustrations out.

The worst part is that even when I suspend my disbelief and go along with the idea that Teru "isn't taking things personally anymore and is in professional mode cause the situation is dire!" it still makes no sense.

Akane's betrayal should have filled his head with questions about the situation, about what changed, but Teru never even tried to connect his vague talk with Akane with the clock keepers seemingly being nerfed.

Why 'now?' feels like an important question. One that should stick, but Teru ignores it.

Which again. Goes agaisnt what is established of his opinion of Akane.

Why would he neglect the words of a colleague he considers wise? Of someone he is treating as fully part of the clock keepers now? Someone he always wanted to hear his opinions before even in his 'professional and smart' mode? Someone whose opinions we have been told he doesn't dismiss even when what Akane says clashes with his upbringing as an exorcist? I am just supposed to assume he is treating Akane as any other supernatural now? Is the betrayal an insta 'everything that has been established no longer applies' free card...?

So yeah, sure... This is a big improvement from chapter 109 but it has the same core problem as chapter 109, at least to me: Aidairo has no interest in exploring Teru as a character in this arc. Aidairo wants the spotlight fully on the broadcasting club, and they will tweak his character whenever it's convenient to set the stage. Just like Nene had turned into a kid with minimal agency, Teru has become a presence that doesn't ask questions, unless said questions will move the plot.

Feelings will also be reduced to what moves the plot, we don't need to know how he feels about being in a position with no power, no sword, and minimal knowledge for the first time in this manga. There is so much they can explore completely disconnected from Akane, despite putting a spotlight on their relationship in chap 108, but there is nothing for Teru's character.

Even when Tsukasa points at Nene, whom he isn't angry at, he has no reaction. He does not care about this guy targeting the little baby girl after witnessing Akane be dragged on the floor.

Of course he doesn't. This isn't about him, is a Hanako set up, Teru can't have even a panel of spotlight on him that is about his character, can't bring attention to his fall out with Akane, less the reader get any expectative from it, or take space in a manga that currently isn't about him.

Teru is a tool first, and a character second in this arc. Chapter 109 stuck him in a dumb gag box. Chapter 110 stuck him in a smart guy exposition box. His personality is picked apart when it is convenient not when it makes sense for a character that has been molded for 100 chapters.

I don't care about this plot. I care about my favorite characters, and how they would react to the circumstances the plot been put on. That's my priority. It isn't Aidairo's. Even if Teru does have a relevant role later, it's still clear that exploring his character isn't Aidairo's priority in this arc.

I told chapter 109 to make me care about the arc, and chapter 110 is way better but not enough to make me care. Which is very sad, I wish it did :(

...This was already a depressing enough answer as it is, I don't want to talk about it.

#i hate being so pessimistic about two chapters in a roll #minamoto teru #tbhk #tbhk 110 #jshk #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun

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feelmyskinonyourskin · 5 months

Text

Fight Club [Frank's Version]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x (AFAB)Reader x Frank Castle

Summary: If this seems familiar, that's cause it is. When @hellskitchenswhore sent this prompt I gave two options: Either Matt fucks you before your next session so he's dripping out of you while you're training with Frank so you "remember who you belong to" ORRRRRR he busts up your session and you end up having a three way with him and Frank in the gym. She chose the former but the later has honestly been bouncing around my brain since then and I finally wrote it. The fic is the same until Matt follows reader to the gym, then the fun begins...

Warnings: 18+/SMUT. No use of Y/N. Female/AFAB reader (use of terms like girlfriend and female anatomy.) Established relationship. Brief mention of an active shooter at an office, Frank and Matt using pet names like sweetheart, mentions and accusations of cheating but no actual cheating, Unprotected sex, Fingering and hand job, Oral (M & F receiving,) THREE WAY! A TRIP TO PARIS!, P in V, Creampie, etc.

WC: 7,200

“That’s it sweetheart, last round I promise.” Frank encourages you as you take swings at the bag in front of you.

“Atta girl, atta girl!” Frank praises as you take your last few swings, arms too weak to make any real movement of the bag

“Alright, you’re getting the hang of it now. Few more sessions and you’ll be out there with Red every night.”

“Pfft I don’t know about that, Frank. I’m just trying to make sure I can protect myself is all.”

“So remind me again why you didn’t ask him to teach you this?”

“What are you doing here?” he asked, nodding towards the door of the boxing gym

“I thought… Look I want to learn how to fight. Or at least how to defend myself. This place is close to work but um… might not be the right fit for me.”

“Why don’t you just ask Red?”

“Okay, can I ask why not?”

“You can but I’m not gonna answer.”

Frank chuckled and shook his head

“Well if you want to learn to fight, this isn’t the best place. I know Vinny the owner and he’s a shit teacher. But if you want to learn for real, I’m happy to teach you.”

“What? Wait really? Wait, Frank you know how to fight?”

“Sweetheart, I was a Marine for over 15 years, ‘course I know how to fight.”

“And you’d do that for me?”

“Course. You’re Red's girl. What times’ he leave for his little night job?”

“9:00”

“Great, meet me here at 9:30. Tonight.”

And that was how you ended up here, collapsing on the gym mat beneath you with a groan.

“Not bad for your first time. We just gotta get you in the habit of resetting your hands after every hit, and you’ll be golden” Frank praises again

“Oh yeah, I forgot, always protect the face so I don’t end up lookin like you.” you jest

“Ouch” he feigns hurt with a smirk on his face “Red teach you to swing low like that?”

“Nah Castle, that’s all me. It’s part of why he loves me. Same time tomorrow?”

“Sure. See you then.”

‘She started going back to the gym. Hmm. Have to ask her about that in the morning.’ he thinks as he drifts off beside you.

You awake in the morning to gentle hands rubbing at your back.

“Mmm morning Matty” you mumble, still pulling yourself out of sleep

“Morning sweetheart.”

“What are you doing?” you ask as he works a little lower down your spine

“Giving you a massage. I can tell you’re sore. When did you start going back to the gym?”

“Just yesterday. And you’re right I’m super sore. Thank you, this is a nice way to start my day.”

“Of course sweetheart. What gym did you go to? Did you have fun?” he inquires

His innocent prodding has you waking fully quickly, trying to cover your tracks without outright lying and getting caught.

“Oh this gym near work. Couple people in the office recommended it. And yeah I had fun.”

All truths.

“That’s nice. Mmmm do you want to start the coffee or shower first?” he asks, seemingly letting the subject go

Perfect.

Sure it smells like you - natural scent mixed with your fading sweat, but there’s something else. Something familiar. A very subtle hint of spiciness mixed with… is that gunpowder?

‘Weird’ Matt thinks to himself, but brushes it off a moment later, the smell not strong enough to really garner more than a passing thought.

But three times he does the laundry in a row, he smells it. It’s so subtle, he might not even give it another thought, but it’s just so damn familiar.

It takes another week for him to ask you about it.

“Hey sweetheart, you’ve been going to the gym a lot lately,” he mentions over dinner

“Mmmhmm. Yeah, can you feel my muscles growing? I’m feeling stronger.” you reply

“Yeah. What exactly are you doing at the gym? It’s really working.”

“Oh a little cardio, a little strength, you know…” you skirt around, being intentionally vague

“That’s good. Is it like a class or?”

“Um sort of. Just this guy at the gym, he’s been helping me. You know, walking me through the exercises.”

Also technically the truth.

“That’s good. Well, I’m glad you found something you like.”

Two weeks later, Matt is out on patrol when he hears a familiar heartbeat on the fire escape a few floors down from where he’s perched.

Frank.

“You just gonna sit there all night, listinin’ Red?” Frank asks

“Very funny Frank.” Matt says, hopping down to Frank’s level

“Haven’t seen you in a while” Matt comments

“Been busy. Madani’s been usin’ me more.”

“Oh don’t tell me you’re going legit Frank.”

“Not a shot in hell, Red. But gotta pay the bills somehow.”

After catching up for a bit, they go their separate ways, the rest of Matt’s evening turning uneventful.

He returns home to you shortly after 3 am, your soft breathing as you sleep calms him as he strips off his suit.

You hadn’t met with Frank tonight. He said something about following a lead and you were perfectly fine with that, you needed an off day.

Matt curls up in bed beside you, resting his head on your back and falling asleep quickly.

The next night, Frank is really putting you through your paces and you swear you’re ready to collapse when he finally calls it for the night.

You and Frank make small talk as you go and eventually, the chill of the autumn air has you shivering in your still-damp-from-sweat workout clothes.

“Here sweetheart,” Frank says with a lopsided smirk, slinging his worn jacket over your shoulders.

“Thank you Castle. Always a gentleman.”

“Course, ‘specially for Red’s girl.”

You make it to 35th and 10th, close enough to home and hand his jacket back to him, parting ways with a nod and a polite “goodnight.”

The later hour coupled with the particularly intense session has you collapsing into bed without even removing your shoes, let alone your gym clothes.

When Matt returns a few hours later, the smell hits him like a truck.

‘I swear to god Frank, if you’re bleeding on my couch again…’ Matt thinks to himself.

Oh my god. The mystery smell from the gym you’ve been bringing home is Frank.

But how could you smell like…

And then the gears in his head start turning. And he feels like a goddamn idiot.

You had been going to the gym. But not to work out. You were cheating. With Frank of all people. And you’d made the critical error of not showering when you got home.

Matt begins to pace the apartment, rubbing at his chin as his thoughts move a million miles a minute about what to do.

Did he confront you? Did he confront Frank?! What should he even say?

“Hey Matty. Know you’re busy but I miss you and I love you. Dinner tonight?”

“Can’t. Working late. Don’t wait up.” He responds

That was… oddly curt. But again you figure he’s stressed and busy.

Matt on the other hand has been wracked with stress all day. It only took an hour of his constant pacing and fidgeting for Foggy to break and finally ask.

“Matt. What’s up?”

“I think… I think I’m being cheated on.” Matt confesses. He leaves the Frank part out of the equation, wanting Foggy to be as objective as possible about his response.

“What could possibly make you think that?”

“So did you ask her?”

“Well no but…”

“Matt you are literally a human lie detector and yet here you are jumping to conclusions instead of doing the rational thing and just asking her.”

And maybe Matt would have taken Foggy’s advice if he thought you were just cheating with your gym trainer. But this was Frank. And that made it all the more complicated.

Matt decides finally what he’s going to do. He’s going to follow you tonight, catch you in the act and confront both of you together.

Matt still hasn’t come home when you depart for your nightly workout session, but little do you know he’s there. Pacing on the roof, waiting for you to leave. As soon as he hears the lobby door shut behind you, he springs in to action, taking the stairs two at a time into the apartment and changing out of his lawyer suit and into his devil suit as quickly as possible, making sure not to lose your heartbeat now a block and a half away. He makes up for the lost distance quickly and is practically on top of you by the time you enter the gym.

“Hey Frank!” you call out as you enter

“Hey. I’ll be over in a second.” he replies from the locker rooms

Matt crouches down by the side of the building, just close enough to the windows to hear everything going on inside.

You’re almost done wrapping your hands when Frank emerges from the locker room.

“Alright let’s start with our usual, then you can have a go at me again.”

“I don’t know Frank. You really wore me out last night. I woke up still in my clothes and shoes.”

Matt knew it. He fucking knew it.

“Tough shit sweetheart,” Frank responds with a chuckle. “And what did your boyfriend think about that huh? He got any idea what we’re doing here yet?”

“Honestly I don’t know. I didn’t see or hear from him at all today. Which is weird even for him. And no I don’t think he’s figured it out yet.”

“You’re gonna have to tell him eventually”

“No, I don’t”

“Frank, I am not here trying to become a prize fighter. I’m just trying to get strong enough to defend myself if he’s not around to do it. That’s all”

Matt’s heart drops.

“I don’t know. Think you should tell him. Show him your moves. Shit, you’ve gotten a couple good hits on me these last few days. I'm sure you could give Red a run for his money.”

“I am not fighting Matt, Francis.” You say with an eye roll

In that moment, Matt decided this had gone far enough. He needed to come clean. He slipped quietly through the door into the studio.

“Oh I think she absolutely could, Frank. Especially if you’ve been teaching her”

Your spine goes icy cold at the sound of the voice behind you. Both you and Frank jump with a gasp and whip your heads to look at the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, standing in front of you.

“Matt… I”

“It’s okay sweetheart,” Matt says, hands up in surrender before reaching up to remove his mask

“Shit Red, you been here this whole time?” Frank asks nonchalantly

Matt nods, shame painted on his face.

“Matt, I can explain…”

“No. I need to explain.” Matt holds a hand up, interrupting your thought “I followed you here because I thought you were cheating. With Frank. And I know now that’s not what’s happening. And I’m sorry for not just asking you.”

Frank scoffs and holds back a low chuckle while your face softens in empathy.

“Oh Matt. I’m so sorry that I did anything to make you think that. That’s not at all what’s happening here.”

“Really Red, you think I’m that kind of guy?”

“No... I don’t know.”

“Nah, wouldn’t lay a finger on your girl. Unless it was okay with you.”

Matt shakes his head.

“Now that I’m here though, I wouldn’t say no to a little demonstration of what you’ve been teaching her.”

Frank immediately looks to you, reading the signs on your face to make sure it’s okay. You nod. Now that Matt knows, its time to show him.

“Kay sweetheart, just a few rounds on the bag. Like we been practicing.” Frank reassures

You step up to the bag and look to Frank once more. A soft smile spreads across his face and he nods in encouragement.

You take a few swings. Jab, Cross, Left hook. Like Frank normally has you do. Not even thirty seconds in, Matt speaks up.

“Woah woah woah. Frank, you’ve been letting her hit like this and not correcting her form?”

“Yes. Wait, what the hell is wrong with her form?”

“She’s too far away from the bag.” Matt places his hands on your shoulders, maneuvering you with slight adjustments and positions his feet right beside yours, pressing his body tight against your back. “I can hear your shoulder joint rubbing every time you jab, which means you’re over-extending that left arm. Makes you put way too much energy into each hit, you’re gonna wear yourself out way faster. Here. Step closer.”

You take a few more swings. Matt’s breath is against your ear and you can’t help but feel a chill run down your spine straight to your core. God, his body is warm usually, but being flush behind you as you move and hit, he practically feels like white-hot iron against you. Your heart is thumping out of your chest, and it’s not just from the few swings you’ve taken. You know Matt can hear it and is going to play you like a fiddle. His own wicked form of punishment for not telling him about your training.

“Go ahead, gimme a few more, I want to feel how your body moves. See just what else Frank has been teaching you wrong.”

Frank throws his arms up in offense as you try a few more punches.

“See? More power, less effort.”

You grin, happy to finally be sharing something Matt is clearly so knowledgeable and passionate about with him. Craning your neck, you mesh your lips with his in excitement and only pull away when Frank loudly clears his throat and you remember that he is still there watching the two of you.

“Eh, so you gave her a minor tweak. Still say how I had her doing it was perfectly fine.”

Matt finally steps away from you, turning to face Frank.

“Sure Castle, but I think the real testament to your teaching skills is how she does with an actual partner.”

Matt turns his attention back to you. His hands drop from your shoulders, running down your back lightly and coming to rest on your hips. He plants a soft kiss right under your ear. His stubble is coarse against your skin, sending goosebumps across your flesh, your toes curling into the squishy mat beneath you.

“You throw any actual punches at him yet?” he asks

“A few. Landed some of them too.”

“Let her show you Murdock, maybe she can knock that cocky attitude out of you like I never could.”

Matt chuckles and shakes his head. He steps away from you, holding out a hand and leading you to the center of the room, the area in the gym dedicated to partner sparring.

You stand a few feet apart from your boyfriend, nervous to demonstrate on him. You’re not arrogant enough to think just a few weeks of training with Frank puts you anywhere near Matt’s skill level. But you also know that Matt loves you and will probably take it easy on you just to be supportive and also not hurt you, so you may just be able to get a few swings in. You don’t need the guilt of piling onto his already long list of previous injuries and scars.

Frank approaches behind you, placing a hand on your arm in reassurance as he leans close to your ear.

“Remember that knee to crotch move I showed you last week? The one I said to only use if some creep comes at you head on and you need to take him out quick?”

You nod, already shifting your feet towards the set up position for that move, trying to activate the muscle memory to bring it back into your brain.

“Well” Frank continued, “might not be a bad time to try it.”

You chuckle at his suggestion.

“Frank, you know Matt can hear all of this right?”

You glance over at your boyfriend, amused smirk painted across his lips as he stretches his perfectly toned bicep across his chest, warming up for your little face off. He’s discarded his tight black shirt in a pile beside him. A cheap bid to distract you from the task at hand with his incredible body that he knows you can’t resist.

“Yeah, just figure if he wants to be a jealous fucker why not rile him up some more? Plus it’s the least he deserves for thinking the worst from you and I, of all people.”

You try not to laugh at the statement. Frank’s askew moral compass being perfectly fine with the regular amount of murder he commits, but thinking being a taken woman’s side piece crosses a line.

He squeezes the hand still resting on your bicep in reassurance before stepping away with a wink, sending a wave of goosebumps across your skin, radiating from the point where the warmth of his touch still lingers. Frank always keeps it incredibly professional around you and you know he is pushing against the line of flirting just to get into Matt’s head.

“Ready sweetheart?” Matt asks as you step towards him, gloved fists by your face prepared to fight

“Yeah” you reply and Matt also assumes his stance, nodding in your direction as a go ahead

“Ding ding, round one!” Frank remarks

You go for the right hook first, but Matt easily blocks the hit. You throw a few more punches, all of which Matt dodges and blocks without looking like he’s putting any effort into it. He’s cocky and sly in the way that he moves, refusing to even take one swing at you but making you work stupidly hard just to get nowhere.

Fine. New strategy, you decide.

Swinging a roundhouse knee in the air, you connect directly with his ribs. The oof sounds he lets out gives you a rush of adrenaline knowing you legitimately got a hit on him. It’s incredibly short lived as he’s quick to recover. Rushing towards you, he tackles you to the mat, knocking the wind out of your lungs as your ribs connect with the floor. He’s pinned you to the point where you can barely squirm, knee pressed firmly between your legs while his arms cage you in place.

“Nice try baby, but not good enough.” he whispers in your ear, shifting his leg to provide just a little friction against your core

“Woah, take it easy on her. She’s still a beginner. She’s here to learn, not have you be an asshole to her about something you thought she did.” Frank interjects, pulling Matt off of you

“Just cause you take it easy on her Frank, doesn’t mean I have to. She wants to learn, then let her learn with a real opponent, not just you going easy on her cause she makes your dick too hard to think straight.”

“Woah!” you interject, ripping the boxing gloves off your hands while still flat on your back

“Jesus, Red” Frank exclaims as he offers out a hand to get you back on your feet

“Oh come on Frank, you’ve been hard since she walked in here. Just because you’re not banging my girlfriend doesn’t mean you haven’t thought about it. I can hear it rub against your pants every time you move. You’re a weirdo, but not nearly weird enough to show up to a gym in jeans unless you had a reason.”

“Look, I’d never…” Frank stumbles over his words, redness creeping up his neck as it tenses with every clench of his jaw

Your pulse is thumping loudly in your ears at Matt’s observation, skin flushed with heat in both embarrassment for Frank who is still stammering beside you and also a little flattered that you so effortlessly turn him on so much.

“Never? Even with my permission?” Matt inquires

Frank’s pupils grow wide at Matt’s suggestion

“Woah, hold up Matt. Permission?” you loudly exclaim, offended at Matt’s implication “Like you own me?! I’m my own person, what about my damn permission?!”

Matt scoffs at your statement and steps toward you, spinning you around so your back is once more pressed against him and you are now facing Frank, who is hesitant to look up. His gaze transfixed on the floor as he tries to find the words to refute Matt’s claims. You didn’t think sheepish was a word one could ever use to describe Frank Castle, nor did you think he’d ever back down from a fight with Matt, even a verbal one.

“Okay sweetheart, let’s talk about you then.” Matt speaks lowly, damp bare skin of his rising and falling chest pressing into your back as he speaks, his own hardness obvious as he pulls your body flush against his

“While I appreciate that you haven’t crossed any lines since you started training, that doesn't mean you’re not enjoying these nightly sessions with Frank. Your heartbeat has risen every time he's been within a foot of you or complimented your progress tonight.”

His voice rumbles against the skin of your neck, right hand snaking around to your front, tickling at the top of your leggings. For some reason, you don’t stop him, feeling a little shy but letting him tease you in front of Frank.

“And you want to talk about how wet you were when I first got here?” he continues “I could practically smell you from blocks away. Frank get you that excited, hmm?”

Frank's head snaps up at the statement and he locks eyes with you just as Matt pushes his hand all the way down, collecting the slick he was just describing on his fingers.

“Matt, I…” you attempted to protest, still watching as the lust grows in Frank’s stare while Matt runs his fingers through your folds.

There was no hiding how your body reacted to both men. The evidence drips onto Matt’s fingers as he toys with you.

“No, it’s okay sweetheart.” he reassures, placing a few kisses on your neck “I get it. Frank and I have always said we're two sides to the same coin. It makes sense we’d both find the same woman attractive. And that she’d want us both.”

Matt once again turns his attention to Frank, not relenting in his teasing of you as he slips a finger into your opening, causing a moan to escape from your lips.

“Go ahead, Frank” Matt says with a nod against your shoulder, “if it's okay with her, it's okay with me.”

Frank finally wills himself to step forward. Never wavering in how deeply his gaze is locked on you, he hovers his hands over your waist while Matt continues to lazily pump his fingers in and out of you, waiting for your go ahead. You nod, granting him the permission to finally act on the feelings you’ve both been resisting.

Frank’s trembling hand finally cradles your jaw as he leans into you and softly connects his lips with yours, taking the pace slowly to give you both the space to gauge how you’re feeling.

Matt, on the other hand, is happy to move things along as he pushes another finger inside you. Immediately working his calloused digits against that spongy spot inside you that drives you wild every time. You're not sure what causes you to groan into Frank's mouth, the way Matt touches you so expertly or the tingly sensation spreading through your body as Frank’s tongue and hands begin to explore.

Matt only removes his fingers from your core momentarily to aid Frank in ridding you of your clothes, eager to assist as it now gives him so much more easy access to your sopping cunt.

Warm, wet kisses are placed all over your heated flesh from both men as Frank’s calloused fingers dance all over you, eventually resting just above Matt’s hand to work your clit while Matt picks up his pace.

Your orgasm crashes into you like a strong current against a rocky shore, hands gripping onto Frank’s forearms to hold your self steady as you ride the waves of pleasure to the end. He watches with an almost sort of reverence as you come down, indulging in every beautiful hint of pleasure painted across your face and body.

Your cunt squeezes Matt’s fingers one last time before he removes them, allowing you to fully fall into Frank’s strong form while Matt tastes the nectar of his labor. The groan that escapes his lips is sinful as he indulges in the familiar taste of you. Meanwhile Frank is stepping away from you, shirt joining Matt’s across the gym and jeans following not long after.

You were used to staring at Matt’s scarred and muscular form, but Frank’s sculpted, but slightly beefier body is also decorated with the ghosts of his past. You can’t help but salivate at how well his toned muscles look as he frees his cock and removes the last of his clothing.

He pumps himself a few times while Matt kisses you deeply, guiding you downward.

The squishy gym floor beneath you cushions your knees as you crawl on all fours towards Matt, who is shimmying out of his cargo pants and laying down before you.

Frank follows closely as you makeout with Matt, continuing to touch himself at the sight of your bare body splayed out on the mat. He lunges forward to place a few kisses down your spine as you’re bending forward, ass in the air and inches away from taking Matt into your mouth.

As you begin to suck Matt’s length, his low moans echo out through the musty gym, lips parted in pleasure.

Once Frank is satisfied with how much you’ve got Matt worked up, he slides back up behind you, lining himself up with your entrance. You moan into Matt’s cock as Frank pushes into you.

Alternating between your mouth and your hand, you work Matt up until his eyes are pressed shut, overwhelmed by all the sensory input of Frank fucking you. Matt seizes the opportunity to sit up a little and kiss you deeply, just as Frank begins to increase the harshness of his thrusts. You can’t help but cry out in little mewls and whimpers, as Matt moves kisses down your neck and jaw and guides your lips over his cock once more.

Your legs feel as though they may give out from under you at any moment based on how violently they’re trembling. With Frank only increasing his rhythm and Matt now thrusting up to meet your face and running his nails along your back has you careening closer and closer to your edge once more.

Unable to hold back, you cum with a cry, Matt and Frank both lunging to put their lips all over your skin as you do, sandwiching you in a throng of sweaty flesh and ecstasy.

Pulled fully on your knees now, Matt reaches down to where Frank was just fucking you, running his fingers through your folds again and sending your already overstimulated nerves into over drive.

The room around you now feels stifling, the heat of three bodies in such a state of activity not able to compete with the squeaky and outdated hvac system buzzing above you head. Frank and Matt are both damp, hair sticking to their flushed foreheads as their mouths hang agape in an attempt to slow their panting. Matt’s hazel eyes dart back and forth, reading the signs that both you and Frank are ready for more; the steadying of your heartbeats, the evening of your breaths, and the minuscule sounds of both your muscles relaxing as the seconds tick on. Even though you’ve leveled out a little bit, you’re still dizzy with pleasure and your heart rate surges right back up as Matt moves to position you on your back.

“Atta girl.” Frank encourages as the sticky flesh of your back meets the soft, rubbery floor. He’s laying down beside you, hands roaming over your breasts and taking a nipple into his mouth just as Matt pushes himself forward, beginning to work his tongue all over your pussy.

The crescendo of pleasure begins to grow deep within you again, Matt knowing just how to expertly play you like a conductor leading a symphony as he kisses and sucks on your clit. He inserts a finger just as Frank grabs your jaw, shoving his tongue into your mouth.

Frank’s kisses move down your jaw and towards your ear, whispering sweet praises while Matt continues to eat you.

“Shit sweetheart, look so pretty when you cum. Knew you would. Let me see it again, come on, all over Red’s face. Atta girl.”

While Matt is always phenomenal in bed, never have you heard him talk as filthy as Frank. Usually his moans and grunts turned you on plenty, but Frank’s words are a welcome, new sensation that has another orgasm crashing through you before you even realize its happening.

You practically shove Matt off you as you know he’d be content to just keep going until you were over stimulated to the point of tears. He chuckles and wipes away the slick you left on his mouth and chin.

“Sweetie, you want to help Frank finish while I remind you who you belong to? Hm?” Matt asks as he crawls to hover over you, lining up just the tip of his cock with your slit and causing your cunt to clench around nothing

“Yes, Matt.” you respond, propping yourself up on your elbows so Frank can have his turn fucking your mouth

Frank’s scoff is cut off with a groan of pleasure as you wrap your mouth around him and suck his length towards the back of your throat.

“What Castle?” Matt asks, still teasing your hole while he listens to you blow Frank “You think just because I’m sharing doesn’t mean she’s only mine?”

“Ah shit– I know Red. I know.” Frank replies, chin tilted down to watch the way you look up at him as you swallow him down

“Good.” Matt responds, before harshly thrusting all the way into you.

The vibrations of your moans from how intensely you’re getting fucked, plus the sight of you taking Matt’s dick while sucking him off causes a build up in Frank much quicker than he’d like. Part of his ego doesn’t want to finish before Matt, so he guides you by the jaw off of him and resumes laying on the floor, supporting your head with his chest and guiding your hand to his hardness so he can watch the show and also help you cum a final time while staving off his own orgasm a little while longer.

“That’s it sweetheart” he coos in your ear, hand steady around your throat while you stare up into his eyes and work him over with your hand. Your skin feels on fire as they toy with you, every brush of them against you like electricity firing through your nerves.

You can tell Matt is close by the way his face is scrunched up, focusing on only the feeling of your body beneath his and trying to tune out the rest of the world around. You can only assume Frank is as well, based on how much tighter his grip has gotten around your neck as you continue to jack him off and by how his sweet praises are now replaced with grunts occasionally punctuated by a singular swear word.

Frank reaches his calloused fingers down to goad you along, rubbing your clit in smooth circles, a stark contrast to the harshness of Matt’s now faltering pace.

The slapping of skin over and over combined with the lust-filled groans and moans all of you are making has your head spinning and your final orgasm blooms like a rose in late July, soft and warm and delicate in a way that only these two working in tandem can give you.

Frank watches as you fall apart a final time, not stopping his assault on your sensitive bud until he’s satisfied with how hard you've orgasmed.

You’re totally spent and laying back against Frank. Too distracted by how delicious every drag of Matt’s cock feels against your satisfied walls, you let him use you while you revel in the dissipating fizz of your body being so thoroughly fulfilled. Barely able to even reach up and stroke the taught muscle of Matt’s chest, you do though as a small act of gratitude for sharing you tonight and allowing you to experience such pleasure. Frank takes over for your weak and trembling hands, touching himself while kissing whatever area of your skin he can reach to bring you back down.

Matt’s senses are overwhelmed. The smell of pure sex invades his nostrils and he can still feel the aftershocks of your orgasm in the light pulses of your velvety walls every time he drives into you. Frank’s musky scent blends so beautifully with your natural, floral smell and hearing your satisfied sighs being breathed into Frank's soft kisses is the most beautiful music he’s ever heard. Your hands trace down from his chest and rest on the back of his thighs, encouraging him to find his nirvana as his thrusts become erratic.

“Matty.” you let out in a breathy lament and it finally tips him off the cliff, spilling inside you with a low moan that will echo in your ears for days to come.

Frank, unable to hold himself back any longer and cheekily pleased that he held off longer than Matt, even if it was only for a moment, spills across his stomach and chest as you kiss him through his orgasm while still stroking Matt’s skin to bring him down.

The three of you collapse side by side under the humming fluorescent lights of the gym, labored breathing finally slowing as you all come back to reality.

“Tell you what Red, that was a hell of a warm up for your girl. Ain’t that right sweetheart?” Frank finally speaks up, gravely voice cutting through the silence.

“You’ve got to be kidding Frank, I am not training tonight after all that!” you argue back

Frank turns towards you and presses a kiss to your temple before standing up and finding his clothes.

“Matt, c’mon back me up here.” you turn to your boyfriend and watch as his signature cheeky grin spreads wide across his face.

“You know my dad and I had this mantra, this thing we’d say before every fight he had ‘It ain't how you hit the mat. It's how you get up.’

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“It means, you better get back up and do what Frank tells you.”

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #daredevil #frank castle #frank castle x reader #charlie cox #nmcu fic #mcu fic #daredevil fic #matt murdock x you #marvel daredevil #daredevil imagine #jon bernthal

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