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#lemme answer sum asks right quick
lxvvie · 9 months
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dilfl0v3rss · 1 year
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Can you do what you did for Eren for Armin🫡🫡
i couldn’t…
wait to post this😩
“why you running from me? we ‘talking’ remember?” the sinister smirk on armin’s face only grew as he listened to the loud whine you let out. he was fucking you so deep you felt him in your stomach as you tried to inch yourself up from him. of course he dragged you right back, fucking you even harder as he held both of your shoulders to keep you from running again.
when you went over to this man’s house, you forgot to put your phone on do not disturb, and this just had to be the day your ex called you asking about your whereabouts and why your location said you were at someone’s house. “m’with armin” you mumbled, lightly pushing at his chest as the blonde man left sloppy kisses all over your neck, his hand deep in your shorts as he rubbed at your pussy through your lace panties. “why you over there? you fucking him?” armin listened on to your conversation, acting as if he was too focused on your body as he slowly pulled your panties to the side. “n-no….we just talkin” you said, completely missing the way armin’s jaw tightened at your words. the two of you weren’t dating or anything, but he wasn’t someone that liked to be hidden, and that showed through his next actions.
before you knew it, your phone was snatched from your ear. he hung up on your ex before making his way to the edge of the bed, his sweats hung low on his hips as he began to take of his black t shirt. “cmere mama, lemme ‘talk’ t’you” before you could answer, his inked hand was wrapped around your ankle and you were being yanked to the edge of the bed. armin made quick work of taking off your shorts and ripping removing your panties before he flipped you over on your stomach.
without another word he was deep in your pussy, giving you, much deeper strokes that you were used to as he listened to you moan and whine for him to “slow down” and “be gentle”. of course he ignored you, causing you to run from him which led you right here. getting your soul taken from behind as his two strong hands gripped your shoulders to keep you from moving away. “take this fucking dick” his voice only added to your arousal as your wetness began to spread all over your messy pussy.
armin groaned at the sight, strings of your essence connecting the two of you as he fucked you with all of his inches. he quickly let go of your shoulders, gripping the back of your neck with one of his hands before pushing your face down into the sheets. “uhh huh, know you like that mama. your ex don’t fuck you like i do and you know that” he mumbled, ocean eyes glued on the way your pussy sucked him back in each time he stroked you. “so why you hidin me, huh? you embarrassed or sum?” his hips moved quicker, his dick kissing that spongy spot inside of you that made you instantly moan into the air. little squirts of liquid being freed from your pussy each time he reentered you. “n-no da….never” armin quickly leaned up to grab your phone, purposely thrusting into you deeper as he moved to tease you. he lifted you up by your neck, using your fucked out face to unlock your phone before going back to your ex’s contact and throwing the phone back in front of you.
“then call em back and tell em we not doing no ‘talkin’.”
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lsuyia · 11 months
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𝑭𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝑺𝒑𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒃𝒐𝒚
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Miles morales x blk!fem!reader
You and your best friend miles, have been friends for a long ass time.. Basically his mom knows your mom very well and they always ship you too together.. You got tired of his constant teasing and flirting when he was always with different girl almost everyday.. It was time to end this charade once and for all.
warnings- miles being an ass and use of the n word
based off this song
IK it seems like miles is kinda a asshole in this one BUT IT ADDS TO THE PLOT A LIL BARE WITH ME GUYS.. PROLLY GON MAKE THIS A LIL MINI SERIES LMAOO
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You loved miles and miles loved you! platonically… This amount of teasing this lanky boy made you go through was annoying.. but you secretly liked it. I mean not that you could ever let him know that? Right?
It was finally saturday, of all the days of the week Saturday was your favorite.. It was that one day were the birds were singinging like in a disney movie. more like cars honking out side. You lay in bed for longer just to reminisce in the sleepiness before your phone started to ring and the words ‘hood rat’ popped up requesting a Facetime. Miles requesting for a facetime at damn near 9 am? oh hell no
Since you were an actual good person you decided to answer “Hey mami?” he said his voice slightly deepened from his sleep. goddamn he sounded so fine.. never mind that... “What you want miles,” You said in an annoyed tone with your voice slightly deepened. “Nun, Just chillin'.. I was thinking about you so I called..” Miles called because he was thinking about you?!? YOU?!? of all his little rachet girlfriends you?? There is no way.. “yeah yeah... Why you ain't just call one of ya lil lace-front girlfriends?” You said still lying in bed with your feet kicking above you... Slightly biting your lip. He smacks his teeth “Mami.. you know it's not like that..” He said slightly saddened. You liked Miles as your best friend..but you didn't want him to see anyone else.
Sometimes you hated how everywhere you went with him he was just overly friendly with every girl he went around. Every time you saw him it would make your heart feel heavy. So you just had to think about the moments you would have with him, trying to make them concur with your feelings. “yeah yeah I gotta go I'm going to work today” Before he could say a word you hung up on him
Sometimes you felt like Miles would be flirting with you just to play with your feelings but you decided to just try and make it last what you felt for him.
After laying in your bed with like 12-13 texts from miles away, you decided to d to leave him on read. Just to see what would happen..
After looking at his text and text and not responding to him you decided to get ready for work. You had a little job at the window of the fast food place round the corner that you just worked at just to make ends meet. You finally got there in your black pants and oversized shirt with the company logo on it as you were in the window just chilling on your phone until you heard a “MAMI!”
damn. you already knew who the fuck it was.. it was Miles's ass in his beat-up ass car and smoggy ass smile. “what you want Miles” You said annoyed and with an obvious attitude. “lemme get yo number real quick.” “stop playing at my window, Miles. You already got my number” Every other day Miles would play this stupid little game with you asking for your number when he knew he already had it.
Sometimes you wondered about him.. “I'm joking mami lemme get a vanilla ice cream with a side of you.”
You rolled your eyes at him before yelling in the back “VANILLA ICE CREAM” and handing it over to him. “uh im missing sum mami?” you looked at him with disgust. “I told yo ass to stop playing at my window miles” he rolled his eyes before throwing 5 dollars in your face that barely landed in the window and driving off leaving a trail of dust behind him.
Damn you were tired of him.. Sometimes you wondered why you even liked him. Suddenly the boss called you into his office wondering why that same boy would always be at the window when you were working.. Of course, you had to explain the whole situation “Yeah you’re fired,you can't be bringing all that around here..” Your boss said calmly.
Damn this nigga got you fired on your first day back at your job?
The only words that pounded into your brain, right at the back of your skull were “Fuck you, Spider-boy”
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triplexdoublex · 3 years
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Pornstar
Pairings: Colson x Reader
Warnings/Tags: rough sex, anal sex, face fucking, gagging, spit, spitting in mouth, slight bondange, golden showers, pissing in mouth, slapping across face, being filmed.
A/N: Shout out to Shawnie ( @heytheregreeneyes) for always letting me use her as my OC and being my best friend. Also Colson isn’t MGK in this, just a pornstar so his personality isn’t as cocky as he usually is. I know I’ve mentioned it before but the sex in this is loosely based off my fave porn star Small Hands AKA Aaron Thompson. Hope this was worth the wait. Lemme know what you think! “Open it, open it!” Your roommate and best friend Shawnie stood before you with a gift bag in hand, shaking it excitedly.
“My birthday’s not even until this weekend,” You laughed taking the bag from her. “You sure you don’t want me to wait? It’s only a few more days.”
“ No please, I’ve kept this a secret for long enough, it’s killing me! Just open it!” She exclaimed. “Plus your gonna need time to prepare.”
“Prepare?” 
“C’mom, just open it, open it, open it!!!” She was far too excited. You wondered what it could be that she was so eager to give you. But what you pulled out of the bag just left you with even more questions. 
“Thanks???” You said confused, holding up a sexy red lace bra and matching g- string that tied at hips. 
“That’s only part of it,” she assured you. “What’s your biggest wish?” She tried to clue you in.
“Ummm paying off all my student debt?” You answered still puzzled. “Did you get me a job as a stripper?” You laughed.
“Okay, maybe ‘wish’ was the wrong word to use … hmmm—oh biggest fantasy!” She corrected herself. 
“Oh to fuck my favorite porn star Huge Hands, AKA Colson Baker. You know that — wait … no, no way!”  You exclaimed as your friend started frantically nodding her head yes. “Shut up!!! What? You’re kidding. Like how?”
“Look in the bag . There’s more!” 
You reached into the bag and pulled out a pass of some kind and read it aloud. “Huge Hands/Colson Baker : Exclusive Access, Porn Star for a Day pass” 
“They were super limited, I have no clue how I managed to snag one, but I’m so happy I did! The look on your face right now is priceless!” Shawnie laughed. “It’s probably because you’re the only one I know who’s  crazy enough to actually go through with this.”
“I-I don’t even know what to say. I have no words… thank you.” You expressed your gratitude, still in shock. “I’m really about to have the best sex of my life this weekend! On my birthday yet! Have you seen his fucking cock, it’s huuuge!”
“Yes, many times,” Shawnie chuckled , entertained by how pumped you are. “Or did you forget about all the links of his umm ‘work’ you’ve sent me?” Shawnie wasn’t big on porn herself but she was always willing to take an interest in your latest obsessions, no matter what they were. That’s what you loved most about her. “Turn it over, it tells you more about what’s included on the back.”
You did as she suggested, turning the pass over to read more. “Half hour zoom call day before to privately discuss details, and needs/wants of scene; hair and make up; up to one hour of shooting time; and keepsake autographed DVD recording,” you listed off. “You know I’m gonna watch that everyday for the rest of my life, right?” 
“I’m assuming you’re gonna make me watch it at least once too, knowing you,” Shawnie laughed. 
“Yeah probably,” you laughed as well. “ I got no shame!”
*************
You’re stomach was in knots as you waited for the zoom call to begin; you’d never felt so excited and  nervous at the same time. Shawnie was there with you sitting just out of frame, when the ‘bloop’ of the call came through your computer's speakers. 
“Hi, Y/N?” Colson questioned.
“Yeah, hi. That’s me!” You did a timid little wave.
“Ok good, just wanted to make sure I got the right person before we get started here. Imagine that … Awkward!,” he laughed, and you instantly began to relax; you could tell he was going to be easy to talk to. “Well, obviously you know what I do , but I’d love to hear a little about you. Says here on your forms you’re a college student?”
“Wait, what forms?” You asked.
“The ones you filled out online with your info and kinks and things you wanted to include in our video when you purchased the Pornstar for a day package,” he answers slightly confused. 
“Ohhh, my friend bought me this for my birthday, she must have filled them out.” You responded. “She’s right here. Say hi Shawnie!”
“Hi!” She giggled leaning into frame. 
“Hello. Wow this must be some “friendship” he joked making air quotes. “Because this is a very detailed list. You gotta hear this.” He smirks. “Written in the section about what you hope to include in our scene says— and  I quote: I want Huge Hands/ Colson to absolutely destroy me. I want him to fuck my throat, my pussy and my ass. I want him to slap me around, and spit and piss in my mouth, and anything else he wants to do to me, I’m all for it.”  He choked out a laugh pulling dramatically at the collar of his shirt “Whew, I’m the pornstar here and that’s even got me blushing!”
“Oh my God, Shawnie!” You covered your beet red face.
“What!?, did I lie?” She laughed.
“I mean no, but still. Damn, to hear it out loud like that.” Your eyes bulged. 
“So it’s true then?” Colson asked slyly.
“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up,” you hid your smile behind your hand, shaking your head in embarrassed disbelief.
“Aye,  no need to be embarrassed, we’re gonna have fun tomorrow, I can tell,” he smiled. “I’m especially excited that your interested in Anal. It’s kinda my favorite. I’m assuming you’ve done it before?” 
“Yeah,” you answered simply.
“Do you enjoy it?” He asked.
“Tell him what your ex said!”  Shawnie blurted out. 
“Oh, boy. I gotta hear this,” he chuckled. “What’d the ex say?”
You inhaled deeply before speaking, “I do enjoy it, probably more than regular sex, if I’m being honest,” you admitted. There was no use trying to be coy now. “Uhhh he actually said I could be a pornstar since I can take a hard anal pounding so well.” 
“Nice!” He exclaimed. “Girl, after my own heart.”
“Jesus Christ, this conversation has me sweating already,” you chuckled standing up to pull your cardigan off. 
“Is that a little tattoo I saw there, peaking out of the top of your jeans?” He asked. 
“Yeah, you wanna see?” You unzipped your jeans without waiting for a response and lowered the top of your underwear just enough to show him. 
“ The Playboy bunny, huh? How fitting,” he teased.
“What can I say, it was my first tattoo,” you giggled “Seemed like that’s what everyone was getting at the time.”
“What else you got going on down there?” He lifted his head as if trying to see more. “Is that a landing strip?” He asked referring to the thin dark stripe of short curls just  barely visible above the band of your lowered underwear. “Can I see?” 
“Yeah, sure,” you lowered them further exposing yourself, your inhibition long gone at that point. “This is just how I normally like to groom. I can shave it completely if you prefer?” 
“Nah, it’s perfect,” he smiled. “Well, I think I have a pretty good idea now of what you like and what we’ll be getting ourselves into tomorrow. Do you have any questions or anything else you want me to know, before we end the call?” 
“I don’t think so,” you said. “Shawnie pretty much laid it all out on those forms,” you laughed. 
“That she did!” He produced a chuckle as well. “I meant to ask earlier, but, since she knows so much about your kinks and what not, have you two ever —“
“ No, just best friends, I tend to overshare, I guess.” 
“Yeah it amazes me sometimes, the things women  share with their friends, but yet guys are always the ones who are known to kiss and tell and brag about their conquests. Females can be just as bad, y’all just keep it on the low a little better,” he stated. “Well, I look forward to working with you tomorrow. Take care, and I’ll see you soon.”
“Can’t wait!” You responded. “Bye.”
“Bye,”
You felt oddly comforted and at ease after the call, no longer a ball of nerves or embarrassment. He made you feel like there was no shame in enjoying the things you did. He was very professional despite the nature of the call; it didn’t feel sleezy or overly salacious; just two consenting adults having a mature conversation about their sexual desires. 
*************************
When you walked out of hair and make-up and onto set, you saw Colson waiting for you on a red leather couch. He was clad in only black dress pants; shirtless — his tattoos on full display. He smiled seductively when he saw you, beckoning you over with a pat to his thighs. You undid your silk robe they had given you and let it slip from your shoulders to the floor, revealing the red lacy set Shawnie had bought you, as you made your way over to him. You suddenly became very aware of all the cameras and other people in the room, as you sat on his lap. Somehow it has slipped your mind that they were all a part of what went into this.
“You get used to it,” he said softly , remembering the way he felt his first time in front of the cameras. “Just pretend they’re not even there— only me and you, okay?” He said brushing a finger along your thigh. “Unless, Shawnie forgot to mention you’re an exhibitionist too, then by all means enjoy them watching us fuck,” he joked, making you laugh. “Don’t forget, if you need me to stop at anytime for any reason, just give me three quick taps,” he demonstrated, tapping your thigh. “Don’t worry about the filming, they can always edit and piece things back together if needed. This is all for you and I want you to enjoy yourself. Oh and happy birthday by the way! It’s today right?”
“Yeah,” you smiled. “Thank you.”
“Ok, so we’ll just start the scene with some kissing and light touches, and when I feel you’re ready I’ll signal the camera man, he’ll call action, and then we'll be recording.”
“Sounds good,” you nodded your head. He had made you feel so comfortable and relaxed the last bit of nervousness you chalked up to just being slightly star struck; You never thought in a million years you’d get this opportunity.
“Ready?,” he pressed his forehead to yours, staring directly into your eyes, the corners of his mouth turned up into the most alluring devilish grin. 
“Ready,” you echoed back, biting your lip trying to suppress a needy whine. God you were always such a sucker for his killer eye contact in his films, and now you were the one his eyes were soul fucking. You’re heart pounded with excited anticipation as Colson’s face drew nearer to your own. He lightly held your chin as he pressed his lips to yours, parting them to introduce his tongue. It was a welcome greeting, cut short by the breathy “oh fuck ” that involuntarily slipped from your lips.
“”You good?” He laughed softly, a small puff of air the only thing separating your mouths; your foreheads still touching. 
“More...than good,” you spoke in a short choppy sentence trying to compose yourself. 
“That’s what I like to hear,” he smirked against your lips, continuing to kiss you. 
You melted into his kisses— slow and gentle at first,  increasing in intensity as he carried on. When he nipped at your bottom lip with a low groan, you lost all innocence, shifting positions to straddle his lap. You gripped the back of his head, as he kissed you and rolled your hips against him, demanding more. And that’s when he knew … that you were ready.  He quickly signaled to the cameraman with a thumbs up, and “Action” was called. 
His hand slipped down from your chin, settling on the highest part of your neck just under your jaw, his fingers squeezing at your pulse points on either side. Roughly he turned your head to the side with a push of his thumb and his mouth began mauling your neck with an appetite for lust, leaving blooming raspberry patches along the descending path of flesh that lead to your breasts. With one hand he expertly undid the front clasp of your red lace bra and took in the sight of you.
 “Perfect,” he whispered into your flesh with a growl, taking one breast  in each hand as he licked between them, keeping his eyes locked on yours. You slid the silky straps of your lingerie over your shoulders, letting it fall, as he took turns going back and forth between each breast treating each of your nipples to light suction and a pleasurable nibble. You let out a moan at his actions and again rolled your hips in his lap, pressing yourself against the hardening bulge inside his dress pants. “Needy are we?” He teased swiftly  spinning you around so your back was to his chest. He dug his chin into your shoulder peering over it as he snatched up the crotch of your panties roughly, tugging the material up between your lips . You canted your hips up chasing after the friction of the coarse fabric against your clit. “You like that, huh?” He pulled them harsher. 
“Mmmm, yes” you squeaked out, nodding your head.
“Yeah, I bet you do,” he growled nipping at your neck. “Look at this pretty pussy,” he shoved the material to the side exposing you, letting his fingers explore your folds as he pleased. “You want my cock right in here huh?” His voice was so gravelly and low as he slipped a finger inside you, only to quickly pull it back out, teasing you. “Taste yourself,” he brought the finger to your mouth. You wrapped your lips around it, as he slid it further into your mouth, his long fingers slipping down the back of your throat. “Oh, god, yes!” He exclaimed impressed by how you didn’t even gag. “Tell ya what—“ he paused to add a second finger to your mouth, continuing to talk as you sucked “If you can suck my dick as good as that—“   he then pulled them back out of your mouth. “I might just have to fuck you right in here too,” he shoved his spit slicked fingers into your ass.
“Yes, fuck, please!” You whined, wiggling your hips, wanting his fingers deeper.  
“You like that? Huh. You dirty little anal whore!” He grabbed your neck with his free hand, keeping you pinned back against him, the fingers of his other hand still moving inside you.
“Yes, yes! I am,” you strained to speak. “Please, please fuck my ass!” You whined impatiently with pleasure. You never heard yourself sound so needy and desperate in your life.
“You sound you pretty when you beg, but you're gonna have to earn it first,” he demanded pulling out his fingers,  leaving you feeling empty. Quickly, you dropped to your knees in front of the couch as Colson got up standing before you. You waited impatiently while Colson unbuckled his belt above you. Once undone he yanked the belt free from the loops with a satisfying ‘whoosh’ that made you pulse between your thighs. You desperately clawed his pants and boxers  down his legs like a feral cat in heat as Colson brought the tip to your mouth, still holding onto his belt in the other. “Open!,” he demanded. “Goooood,” he growled in praise as you did what you were told. You reached up to grab it but ,“no hands!” he smacked them away, and then secured them behind your back with his belt. “Let’s try this again, open!” He spoke harshly. You obliged, opening wide. “Tongue” he barked.  You let it hang from your mouth with anticipation; eager breaths rolling down it like a panting dog eyeing a steak. He teased you, slapping his cock against your tongue before shoving it fully into your mouth. Your eyes prickled with tears as you fought your gag reflex, taking him down your throat. He held your head in place with one hand , the tip of your nose pressed flush against the coarse hair of his pelvis, as he hunched his body forward over yours untying the sides of your G-string. It slipped from your body leaving you completely nude. Colson smacked your ass, then gripped it harshly, making it jiggle for him before finally standing straight up and pulling his hips back to let you come up for air. 
“Huuuuuuhhhh,” you inhaled sharply gasping for breath, letting oxygen penetrate deep into your lungs before Colson stuffed your mouth again. Mascara ran down your hollowed out cheeks as you sucked. You started pulling back out of instinct when you began to gag but Colson held you in place. 
“No, keep it in your mouth,” he instructed condescendingly, looking down at you. “Just a little longer” he promised. You tried your best, Colson letting out a throaty moan every time your raw, used throat constricted around him as he fucked into it. “Mmmgghh,” he groaned, pulling out of your mouth “Goooood girl,” he praised with a smirk, before bending down to give you a sloppy kiss, swapping mouthfuls of saliva. Just as he pulled away he let a long string of collected spit slip from his pursed lips and into your open mouth, where you eagerly accepted it, moaning as you swallowed it down. 
 You let out a breathy “awhhh” as you opened your mouth again, wiggling your tongue enticingly. 
“Such a dirty, fucking whore,” he bent down again and spat directly in your face. He smeared it all over your face with his hand before grabbing you by the neck, pulling you to your feet. “Turn around,” he ordered. You did as he said and Colson undid his belt from around your wrists. Before you even had a chance to soothe your sore wrists with a rub, Colson spun you around and pushed you down onto your back on the couch, your ass teetering on the edge of the red leather cushion. “Spread yourself for me,” he instructed, as he pumped himself. Again you did as you were told; you pulled your legs up, wrapping an arm around each thigh, holding them back as you parted your opening with your fingers.  “God, you’re so fucking wet.” He teased the head of his cock through the glistening mess on display for him. 
“Fuck me,” you said in an inpatient huff, staring into his eyes. 
“Awhhh, yessss,” he groaned out, slack jawed as he sank into you
“Ohhh, shit,” you screamed out , face twisted in pleasure, your eyes slipping shut, at the feeling of him burying himself deep in your cunt.
“Open your eyes. Look at me!” He spoke harshly, cupping your face in his hands as he thrust. You opened your eyes, trying to focus on his, but your vision was  spotted by the intensity of it all. “Feel good?” He pressed his forehead to yours just as he’d done earlier , starring directly into the windows to your soul as he fucked you. You nodded the best you could, but that wasn’t good enough for him. “Words, I want words. Say yes!”
“Yes.. yes,” you responded breathily, biting at your lip.
“Yeah, Mmmghhh, that’s it. Fuck, I like it when you use your words”  he moaned , shifting himself to be more upright. He then spit on the tips of his fingers and brought them to your clit and began rubbing it furiously, his cock still destroying you.
“OH Fuck!” You cried out, wiggling and bucking your hips. 
“You gonna fucking stay still? He roughly grabbed your face, squeezing your cheeks. You nodded your head, trying your best to calm your body’s erratic, pleasure driven movements as he thrust. “Words!” He spat, his hand letting go of your face only to connect it to your cheek again with a quick, yet harsh slap.
“Shit! ...Yes!” You corrected yourself once again, Your body was  loving how aggressive he was getting the longer he fucked you and he could tell;  spitting at and striking your face again.
“Turn over!”  He ordered, abruptly pulling out. “Hands on the back of the couch.” He roughly assisted you in turning around , and you placed your hands where instructed. You arched your back and pushed your ass out waiting for him to re enter you from the new position. “This is where you really want it, huh?” He teased his cock over your asshole. 
“Yes!,” you remembered to use your words this time.
“You’re a dirty little fucking anal whore, aren’t you? He asked, he question sounding a lot more like a statement. “Let me hear you said it.” He applied pressure to your hole with the tip, as he yanked back a fist full of your hair.
“I’m a dirty little fucking anal whore!,” you repeated desperately pushing back against him.
“Mmmghh!, That you are!” He confirmed with a groan, snapping hips hips forward, quickly entering you. 
“Uhhhhh, Oh my God!” You exclaimed at the feeling. You never fully understood why you enjoyed anal as much as you did, perhaps it was the pleasurable fullness, the taboo aspect, the fact that you were one of the few woman who were into it, or the way so many men were obsessed with it , and the look on their face when they found out you were more than willing to take it up the ass, but you absolutely loved it, and this time was no different. Every jack hammered thrust brought you closer and closer to the edge, especially when Colson reached around to between your legs adding the friction of his fingers to your clit. The sensation of your ass being stuffed combined with his  touch was the perfect recipe for orgasm and you felt it building every time his cock slid in and out. 
“Yeah, cum for me,” he could feel you tightening around him. His words perfectly in sync with the  jolt of pleasure boiling over in your abdomen and ripping through you with vast intensity. A series of explitives and sounds you’ve never heard yourself make, flew from you lips as your body went boneless under Colson. He quickly pulled out, turned you back over and came across your face with a few pumps of his hand. He collapsed to the side of you briefly, before tugging you off the couch and onto your knees. “I’m not done with you just yet,” he spoke out of breath taking his softening dick in his hand. Your eyes lit up, you knew what he was referring too— the only thing on your list of wants he hadn’t included yet. “Say ahhh!”
“Ahhh,” you echoed the request, letting his golden stream fill your mouth, splash off your tongue and dribble down your chin and body. You giggled, piss spilling from your smile as you looked up at him, all your fantasies now fulfilled. 
“Annnd cut!” Called the director. A few stage hands scrambled to bring you both a towel and small refreshments. “Almost done, just gonna get you guys a little cleaned up, rehydrated, let you catch your breath a bit, and then film the little quick, post scene interview. 
“Ok,” you both answered.
Colson tossed his towel over his shoulders and reached out his hand to you “You, good?” He asked with a faint laugh , watching your hand shake as you drank your water.
“Yeah,” you answered letting him pull you up onto the couch. 
“You were amazing,” he said, rubbing your back. He knew the come down from the adrenal rush of scenes could be taxing, especially from rough ones . “You —“
“Ready,” the director interrupted, cutting him short, and immediately pressing record. “So how was it?” the director focused the camera on you first. 
“Oh my god.. mind blowing,” you answered , still out of breath, adjusting your towel. 
“And you?” The director turned the camera to Colson.
“ Absolutely amazing. She was a natural. I’d love to work with her again.”
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lazyneonrabbitt · 3 years
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Paintings & Picture frames. [Pt.4]
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Daryl Dixon x Reader [Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7]
The time you spent together hanging on opposite ends of the bar was short lived, after your coffees were finished you were told to to ahead and sit with Daryl to work more easily while there were only two other people in who were only passing through and making a quick stop.
When more customers would come in, Daryl would go outside for a smoke, keeping a close eye on his computer. When inside he’d have his camera in hand, probably going through his gallery again and again to keep busy. What you wouldn’t realize is that he would sneak in some quick snaps, trying out different settings to get the lighting inside the diner just right to get the color of your uniform stand out against the bright colors of the diner’s interior. They of course weren’t the most flattering images since they were just tests, but some managed to capture your smile as you were serving the friendly older lady or handing the little crying child a lollipop to calm him down before giving the parent an apologetic look. Daryl always made sure to have his camera gone by the time you’d come back and he’d be back to focussing on the paper. By the end of your shift you had covered most of the points you had to cover and tomorrow al that was left to do were finishing touches and write out the last two points.
You had no idea how you managed, but the night ended with you and your boss cleaning up the kitchen and the counter while Daryl wiped down all the tables one last time. “Again, thanks a lot. For everything today.” You said as you stood outside of the diner after closing up. Your boss had left already after thanking Daryl herself as well so now it was just the two of you saying your goodbyes for today.
“So, I’m not working tomorrow. Who’s place do you wanna work at?” You wondered as you watched how Daryl put away all his stuff on his bike. “We ain’t goin’ to my place tha’s for sure.” The look on his face was one you couldn’t really place, but the message was loud and clear. You weren’t studying at his house. “Wanna come to mine, then? Gotta clean up a bit but it’ll be doable.”
“Ya sure, text me yer address when yer done cleanin’.” He sat on his bike, ready to leave and you said your goodbyes. Without thinking twice you moved in to give him a hug as it was something you did to all your friends back in your hometown and was considered normal. You gave him a hug and the second your arms were around him you realized what you were doing, panic immediately setting in. You let go in an instant. “So yeah, I’ll text you tomorrow then.” You stammered for a moment before turning on your heels and walking home. Daryl stayed behind in he parking lot, frozen and confused about what just happened and unable to place whatever he was feeling right now.
You arrived home still shaking and blessing the fact that you had Daryl email you the current project files because you were sure he wasn’t going to answer your text tomorrow after your little scene today. Relaxing after your shift wasn’t going to happen anymore so you went straight to bed but still couldn’t sleep. After a while of mindlessly scrolling your phone you decided to text Daryl that you arrived home safely, asking if he did as well without really expecting an answer from him. As you expected, the answer never came and you eventually fell asleep. You woke up early with the idea to clean up your place even if Daryl wasn’t gonna come over, at least your place would have gotten a much needed cleanup. It wasn’t like there was laundry piling out of your bathroom or here were dished lining every inch of your kitchen counter but with being in school or at work most of this week, you just didn’t get to most of your housework. Over breakfast you realized you hadn’t even looked at your phone yet and took it out to check if anyone had messaged you. To your surprise you found two notifications from Daryl on your screen one message was sent late last night and read ‘good to hear, got home safe as well.’ And the one from this morning read ‘lemme know what time you want me to visit. In town for work all day.’
You texted him back that you were cleaning up first and you settled on meeting around two PM.
You were almost done cleaning up when your phone buzzed. Immediately stopping in your tracks and checking what it was only to see a text from Daryl. ‘There’s a coffeeshop on the way, you want sum?‘ You had a hard time containing your excitement and realized there was no need to contain it since you were there alone anyways and let out a little squeal of happiness, bouncing on the spot before texting, deleting and re-doing your text at least half a dozen times before sending a message telling Daryl your coffeeshop order. Even a text that small had you shaky without even knowing why. It was literally just a thank you text with what drink you’d like, no big deal you tried to tell yourself but still it made you wonder if you used the right words. Being an always anxious person who carried ‘nervous’ as a second name wasn’t as cute as some people made it seem.
Trying to remember what you were even doing, you looked around you and spotted the trash bags near the door. Not willing to put down your phone you put it in your pocket and upped the volume before you grabbed your keys and took out the last bits of trash, finishing your cleanup.
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bakugous-bbygirl · 4 years
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~Social media boyfriend~
Bakugou Katsuki x F!Reader
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There needs to be more quarantine stories. Like come onnn we’re all stuck together anyway. That’s why I’m doing the public justice of giving us more fan fiction that’s current to the times. Please enjoy!
Warning: swearing. That’s it really.
Being stuck at home was really getting to everyone and it was pretty clear. From almost finishing your second year to having to do your third year at home. You didn’t even want to know how your hero course was gonna go. But now everyone is online all the time posting things they never would have if they got to go outside more.
You of course followed almost all your classmates on social media. Mostly twitter and Instagram, everything else was a little too much. You had your fair share of classmate followers so your posts were mostly pictures of everyone hanging out or weird selfies you took while half awake.
After reading one too many fanfics you opened Twitter to see a certain profile you liked scrolling through.
You have no clue why Bakugou had followed you one day but you figured it’s the poilte thing to follow back. After scrolling for an hour though you had pretty much summed up all of his account into a few words
Self centered music guy.
A lot of his tweets were just pictures of himself flexing in his mirror or screenshots of whatever his playlist consisted of with aggressive captions telling people to fuck off or listen to the song. Those pictures of his arms though. Ahh those hit differently.
You had a crush on the blonde since you started your first year however you didn’t think it shift into you calling him your online boyfriend and making constant tweets about him.
Nothing super obvious just the simple like “why can’t he love me back” or “when he learns I’m real it’s a wrap.” And on Instagram if it’s a cute photo of yourself your caption would consist of something like: “once my online boyfriend learns I’m desperate maybe we could cuddle” you know nothing weird or anything.
After scrolling through his twitter you found a old tweet that actually made you laugh. Like it was something actually funny. You figured kiri got ahold of his phone and posted it before Bakugou blew him up. It was a picture of Bakugou on his floor fixing his Grenade bracers with the tweet “he looks so cute all focused!”
You accidentally tapped the like button and didn’t even realize how weird that would’ve looked as you swiped out of the app. You went to your messages to text Mina since she always kept you busy durning these lonely days. “Hey crackhead you up yet? It’s almost 3 in the afternoon”
she replied pretty quick asking how you were and if you wanted her to FaceTime you. And who were you to turn down a chance to talk to your best friend?
After answering the call mina’s goofy pink face appeared on your screen while it looked like she was laying on her couch. “Hello!!” “Hey Mina.” You couldn’t help at smile how bubbly she is while talking to you. You figured her extroverted personality was put through the ringer being forced to stay at home. “Soooo how have you been? I see your keeping your social media pretty up to date with your creepy obsession with your online boyfriend?” You hold up your middle finger as you see her laugh “it’s not creepy. It’s the same as liking a famous person. You guys just don’t get to know who he is.” “Ooooo so he’s famous? That makes it totally normal.” You rubbed at your neck moving the phone from your face so she can’t see the Blush. “Well, kinda, not really, sorta..” you then noticed your phone vibrating that you got a new notification. “Oh hold up, I wanna check this.” “Oh no just ignore me as I try to find out who it is you love so much. I would really like to know someday” you waved her off with your hand going to your home screen, “you will one day. Hush up now.” You scrolled to the top of your screen to see your notifications and saw it was from twitter and it was someone wanted to message you, you played it off as Mina or one of your friends wanted to mess with you about a tweet you made early in the day or something. “What’s the point of messaging me when we’re on the phone?” You went back to the call to see Mina tilting her head like a bird “what do you mean? I didn’t message you?” “Oh, I figured it was you sending me something stupid on twitter. Lemme see who it is then.”
You opened twitter while half way listening to whatever story Mina felt like telling at that moment and noticed the message was actually Bakugou saying “what the fuck” “Oh it’s just Bakugou. Weird he normally doesn’t send me anything” you opened the message just as Mina said “maybe it’s him telling you what you tweeted was dumb or pointless? That’s normally what he does to me.” You laughed and saw he had sent a screenshot of a notification he got from you like a tweet from legit a year ago. You almost died. “Ahhhhhhh shit I gotta go minathanksforcallingbye!” And flat out hung up in her face. You couldn’t believe you were dumb enough to like the tweet. Why didn’t you notice? God you were stupid.
And what’s even worse you already opened the message and he could see you already read it so In a panick you just typed out some half ass reply acting as if you were confused “what? I didn’t do anything to you” you then texted Mina explaining how weird he probably thinks you are. “sooo Bakugou is mystery your online boyfriend and you got caught totally creepin?” You face turned red as you replied “I never said he was my crush!” “you posted on Instagram yesterday that sometimes you scroll through his account and read his old tweets. Get busted y/n.” You threw you phone away from you on the table and layed Your head into your pillows.
You were so caught. Almost all your tweets and posts from the last few months were you thirsting over this boy and showing how lonely you are durning this quarantine. You wouldn’t be so embarrassed if it was someone you were closer too, Like kirishima or denki. The fact Bakugou barely spoke with you durning your time in classes made it feel even weirder. How could you be so dumb to forget your one rule of being a simp. No liking old posts or tweets. Just saving the photo depending on what it is. That rule just got tossed out the window as you pushed your face tighter into the pillow. No way was he gotta think your cute or whatever after this.
The sound of your phone going off got your attention and you reached for it slightly hoping it was Mina with a way to get you out of this. However it was the dreaded online boyfriend messaging you again. “Don’t play dumber than you are dumbass. The fuck is with you liking my old tweets” You really didn’t have the best response so you came up with the best you could. “Mina had my phone. Sorry she was being weird.”
That was so dumb. You both knew good and well that no one was allowed to be around each other since this whole virus came out. Could this day get any worse? Yes. Yes it could shut up.
“Try again.” Was all he replied with but you could hear the smug in his voice. Like no way was he gonna not call you out for this. The only times he did speak to you was when he was being an ass and making fun of you. Or when he grabbed your hips and moved you out of his way. You always loved that because his hands trapped your figure so perfectly but decided it was better to keep that to yourself. You were fully ready to admit defeat. There were no more lies you could come up with on the spot. “alright look, I’m sorry if it’s weird. Honest mistake.” This was your last shot to keep your dignity after such a embarrassing day.
It actually took him a while to reply. You figured he was too busy to entertain your contuinus lies until you got a notification from Instagram saying Ground_Zer0 liked your post. You opened the app to see he liked the picture where your caption was you basically admitted you scrolled through his old tweets because he was your online boyfriend. Before your brain could kick you for posting that bold statement in the first place you got two more messages from him. He had screenshotted the picture and caption. “So gonna keep lying like I don’t follow your accounts” Yep. Mina was so right. You were busted. Nothing much was left to be said. You were caught simping on one of your classmates who was aiming to be the number one hero. Just great.
“You gonna reply or what dumbass” Here goes everything. No reason to keep your lies, nothing much to lose.
“Alright so yeah I’ve liked you for a while now, I don’t know what about you makes me like you so much but I always found you really cool. Your so passionate about wanting to do good it’s almost silly how mean you are to everyone. Your not all that ugly either so that helps or whatever.” You confidence found half way through texting him. Not like he could make fun of you to all your friends and school. He doesn’t seem like the guy. Right?
“Oh.” Oh. That’s all he has to say. What the shit. What type of reply is that! Here you are pouring your heart out and that’s all he says back! This was kinda worse than him laughing! You barely got a reaction at all! “So how long have you liked Me” you took a second to think of the least creepy answer, “I mean since the beginning of our second year, why?”
It wasn’t a whole lie. Like since you had liked him the beginning of last year too. Your heart was beating out of your chest. Your emotions were clearly a wreck. From anger to slight confusion and embarrassment. What if he used this against you for real? Like you could never live down how much you really thought about him and wanted to be around him. It was pretty clear since you layed eyes on him you really cared about him.
“Well, I’ve liked you longer so I guess it’s my job to ask your dumbass out”
“Wanna be my girlfriend you weird stalker?”
You legit couldn’t believe it. You rubbed at your eyes for a good five minutes. Was he being serious? Was it a joke? You couldn’t think straight your head was so fuzzy “OI DONT LEAVE ME ON READ DUMBASS!” “If this is a way to make fun of me it isn’t very funny Bakugou.”
It seriously wasn’t funny. You knew for a while he felt nothing back for you, he never liked any of your posts or made much of an effort to even talk to you when you guys did attend school. He was clearly better friends with Mina since she even got messages from him, even if they were insults you would’ve taken what you could get. No way were you setting yourself up any more to get laughed at.
At that moment you got a FaceTime call from a number you didn’t have saved. You had no clue who it was. Against your better judgement you answered figuring that telemarketers don’t make FaceTime calls. What you got was a grumpy looking Bakugou staring at his screen. You could feel his eyes staring through you. You wanted to throw your phone so far it wasn’t even a joke. “Bout time dumbass.” He was layed out on his bed with a black wife beater hanging loosely on his body. You could tell he hasn’t moved from the bed in a while since the sheets and blankets were slightly messed up. “Now tell me. You see anyone else in my fucking room?” You shook your head in a confused manner, what was that question for? “Okay then. So it’s clear this isn’t a fucking joke. I like your dumb ass. Now will you please be my real girlfriend?” You stared at his face for any sort of sign it was still a joke.
But all you got was Bakugou blushing. Wait blushing? Seriously. That’s screenshot worthy. “I..well..w-wait we can’t even see each other?” You heard him grunt as a smirk appeared on his lips “if that’s your way of saying yes ain’t no stupid virus keeping me from kissing you like I’ve wanted to forever now.” “N-no way! You’ll get in trouble! Or sick!” Your face filled with heat as his words flowed so confidently. Like he knew all this time this is everything he’s ever wanted to say to you. “Did you not hear me? No virus is keeping me from you or getting me sick. Just let me say your mine stupid! I won’t fucking ask again.” “Y-yeah! O-okay I’ll be your girlfriend!” Another smirk tugged at his lips. “Damn straight. Alright get ready I’ll be there soon.” After that he hung up.
“Wait what?! Don’t come! Hello? Ah shit.” You still couldn’t really believe that all this really happened. You just got a boyfriend. After accidentally liking his post. From a year ago. Wow. What luck! You opened Instagram to congratulate yourself by posting the screenshot you had snagged but saw that a certain someone had posted a screenshot of you looking all confused durning a FaceTime call.
The ass screenshotted you looking confused after he asked you if anyone else was in his room. You looked at the caption and it absolutely made you turn red
“Thanks for giving me her number pinky.”
P1nky commented “anytime! Get you some!”
You hate your friends. You do love them. But you seriously can’t stand them.
Thank you all for reading so much! Also thank you for the 100 followers! I appciate it a lot and it gives me more reason to keep writing!
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itsbrindleybinch · 5 years
Text
Time of the Year (MotY)
Summary: It’s the most wonderful time of the year and Ayla is determined to make sure that Stephanie has the best and happiest day possible. Christmas Day Fluff!
Word Count: 2,059
Book: Mother of the Year
Author Note: Happy Holidays @choicesbyjade! Thank you so much for your letter! This was so much fun to write and I really hope you enjoy it. Lots of love, your Choices Secret Santa!
And to @andi-the-cat​, thank you so much for organising such a lovely event!
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“Mom! Mom!” There was a quick shuffle of slippered feet and a split second of silence before…
“Oof!”
It was a truth universally acknowledged that having a child launch themselves on top of your (pretending to be) still sleeping form was exactly how every parent wanted to wake up. Ayla suppressed a smirk before giving a theatrical grown and burrowing further under the covers.
“Nooo… lemme sleep...”
“Mom, wake up!” Stephanie giggled, kneeling up and poking the lump in the covers before pulling the sheets back with a flourish. “It’s Chriiistmaaas!”
Ayla cracked an eye open, frowning a little. Stephanie was still in her red pyjamas, sprinkled with small white snowflakes but there was a headband nestled among her curls that boasted an impressive set of antlers.
“Christmas?” Ayla gave a sceptical hum. “Are you sure?”
Stephanie beamed. “Double sure!”
“You’re not messing with me?”
“Nope!”
“Checked the calendar?”
“Uh huh!”
“Well then what are you waiting for, sleepyhead?” Ayla sat bold upright, tugging her own red snowflake pyjamas straight and grinning at her daughter’s giggles. “Get out of bed, it’s Chriiistmaas!”
Stephanie scrambled off the bed and sprinted for the living room. “Can we have hot chocolate for breakfast?” she called over her shoulder.
“Now hold on, what’s the rule?”
“No rules on Christmas!”
“Wrong! On Christmas Day, hot chocolate comes with extra marshmallows. It’s the law.” Ayla slipped on her matching fuzzy slippers and followed her daughter out of the bedroom.
“I’m gonna check that with Thomas later.”
“Are you questioning my knowledge of marshmallow legalities? Because I’m an expert.”
Ayla stepped into the living room and paused, waiting for just a moment in the doorway. The tree – a bigger one than they’d ever been able to have before and one that had taken four of them to pivot up the stairs to the flat under Alma’s imperious supervision – was aglow with ornaments and a thousand twinkling lights. Once the rest of the tree had been decorated, Levi had hoisted Stephanie up onto his shoulders to get the star placed at the very top and both had been so focused in getting it just so with the help of Levi’s best spirit level that they hadn’t noticed Ayla snapping her new phone wallpaper.
“I’ll allow extra marshmallows,” Stephanie said with a decisive nod. Her eyes were sparkling with excitement as she settled cross-legged in the middle of the floor.
“Hot chocolate for breakfast it is then,” Ayla said, saluting. “Then we’ll do your stocking, ok?”
Stephanie had such a broad grin on her face that Ayla was worried her cheeks would ache. “Ok. And yours.”
Ayla frowned. “Mine? I don’t have a stocking, sweetie.”
Rather than reply, Stephanie pointed beneath the tree. The stocking that Ayla had filled at a stupidly late time last night once she’d been sure her daughter was sound asleep was still there, but next to it was another stocking, one that was stuffed with small, neatly wrapped presents and had a tag attached that read ‘Mom’ in large glittery letters.
“Where did that come from?” Ayla blurted out in surprise.
She didn’t think she had ever seen her daughter look so smug. “Santa,” Stephanie said in a sing-song voice.
The problem with having a genius for a child was that the myth of Santa didn’t last long. Stephanie made it through just four Christmases before she started asking the difficult questions and an answer of ‘he’s magic’ hadn’t convinced her for long.
Ayla had woken up one morning in an early December when Stephanie was six to be presented with a page of neat sums showing that if there were 2 billion children in the world there just wasn’t time, not to mention the number of cookies he’d have to eat. A reminder that not every child celebrated Christmas hadn’t deterred her.
“That’s still hundreds of millions. He’d be sick, even if they’re not all chocolate chip,” Stephanie had declared. “And the air pressure and oxygen levels would be all wrong for reindeer at that altitude.”A startled laugh slipped from Ayla’s lips and she pressed a hand to her mouth as her eyes misted over. Without a word she crossed the room and bundled her daughter in her arms. “Tell Santa I said thanks,” she whispered.
“And the elves,” Stephanie whispered back, squeezing her around the middle.
***
One mountain of marshmallows with a thimbleful of hot chocolate later, the two of them sat amid a sea of wrapping paper exclaiming their delight at their gifts.
Stephanie was already wearing a leather jacket that was a perfect miniature replica of Eiko’s and leafing through a book about Jupiter with wide eyes while Ayla watched, a fond smile on her face and a wonderfully soft burgundy scarf around her neck. Outside, the sun was just up, filtering through the blinds and mingling with the light from the tree.
There had never been a Christmas like this, where Ayla had known in advance that she’d be able to make Christmas morning a good one for Stephanie, that there would be no arguments, that the heating wouldn’t go out in the middle of December.
“Right,” Ayla said after a few moments. “Let’s get ready then. Stephanie, please could you pick up the wrapping paper whilst I get started on cooking? Then I’ll need my sous chef.”
“Ok.”
As she set the oven to preheat and started to prepare the turkey, Ayla glanced over her shoulder and had to swallow a chuckle when she saw Stephanie wandering slowly around the room, occasionally pausing to pick up a piece of wrapping paper with her gaze never once leaving her book. As Ayla watched, Stephanie turned, bumped the couch and started, her head snapping up as she blinked as though dazed.
“Good present, that one?”
“Yeah...” Stephanie gave her a sheepish smile. “It talks about all the moons!”
“Yeah? What about the aliens?”
“Mom!”
***
“Dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh...”
Before Ayla could say a word Stephanie had bolted to the front door and tugged it open.
“Levi! Alma!”
“… over fields we go laughing all the way HA HA HA!”
Stephanie joined in with a booming laugh that dissolved into giggles as the two of them swept her into a hug.
“Happy Christmas, Rocket.”
“Happy Christmas, Alma! Chag Sameach, Levi! We made latkes and your presents are under the tree!”
Levi blinked in surprise, then his face split into a huge grin. “Latkes, huh? Did someone tell you they’re my favourite?”
“Yep! Mom! Just like she told you my favourite Christmas song!”
“Was it that obvious?”
“Yeah, but you did awesome. Now come on, come look at what I made!”
***
“We’re here!” Luz bounded into the flat, breathing heavily and almost as red in the face as the Santa hat perched on the top of her head. Its bobble swung in front of her eyes as she launched herself at Stephanie, who squealed and hugged her. “You’re a reindeer! You gotta be Comet!”
“Comet’s the best one! Come look at our tree!”
Grinning, Ayla left them to it, heading to the front door and sticking her head out.
The corridor was empty.
“Erm, Luz?” she called over her shoulder. “Is your dad -”
“Approaching middle age, slow and exhausted?” she heard him call from the staircase. “All of the above.”
“I told you I can get you a good deal on a heart monitor.” Eiko’s voice was further away, but she sounded like she was trying very hard not to laugh.
Before long they both appeared, Thomas a little out of breath in a terrible jumper and Eiko grinning in an even worse one.
“I let her have sugar,” Thomas was muttering to himself, swiping a hand across his forehead and staring into the middle distance in disbelief as he caught his breath. “Before noon. On Christmas Day. What the hell is wrong with me?”
“Christmas spirit. There’s no cure.” Eiko stepped past him to give Ayla a warm hug before they all made their way into the flat.
Ayla giggled. “And now all my elves are here I can say a proper thank you!”
“She told you?”
“As good as.” Ayla’s expression softened, looking fondly at the group. “Really. Thank you so much. It… Christmas hasn’t been an easy time for… well, years. I’ve always tried to make it fun and happy for Stephanie because it’s what she deserves, especially while she’s young, but…”
“She knew,” Eiko said gently. “And you know what? It made it even more important to her that Christmas was special for you this year too.”
Ayla took a deep breath, blinking rapidly. “Hey, are we going to eat or what?” she said, her voice thick as she swiped away the beginnings of a couple of tears. “I’m starving! Girls, time for food!”
As the rest of the group crowded the table, Thomas stepped close to Ayla slipped a small box tied with a silver ribbon into her hand with a wink. Frowning a little, she unfastened it to find a tiny card printed with the words ‘A star for a star’. Nestled beneath was a brooch covered in so many small crystals that they sent tiny dots of light across the wall as Ayla tilted it.
“Thomas...” She looked up, only to find his eyes already on her and a small smile on his face. Warmth rose unbidden in her cheeks. “I...”
“Mom, I put you next to Alma!”
“Right. Yes.” Ayla blinked and made her way to the table, fastening the brooch to her sweater, but she couldn’t help but glance back with a soft smile that was returned tenfold.
***
It was hours later, once everyone had eaten more food than they could handle and played so many games that they’d lost track of the rules and laughed so much that their sides ached that they all sat slumped and quiet and content in the living room. Stephanie was snuggled up against Ayla’s side, her eyes drooping despite her best efforts, while Luz was snoring sprawled across Thomas’ lap.
“We should go,” came a whisper in her ear and Ayla lifted her head to see Alma beside her, smiling broadly. “Or I’ll keep drinking and they’ll give me a WUI.”
“Can’t be having that.” Ayla grinned. Behind Alma, Eiko and Levi reluctantly started to gather their things to leave too, while Thomas did his best to pick up Luz without waking her. “Thank you. It’s been...”
“Magical?” Alma tapped her on the head with her wand. “The Christmas fairy says you’re welcome.”
Ayla laughed, trying not to jostle a dozy Stephanie. “Thank you, all of you.”
“Thank you.” Eiko leaned over for a warm, one-armed hug. “For letting us all descend on you like this.”
“If you’re all going to have an efficient washing up production line like that again, you can come over every day.”
***
Stephanie barely stirred as she was carried to bed, but as Ayla set her down her eyes fluttered open and she gave a tired smile, rubbing blearily at her eyes.
“I’ve still got my antlers on.”
“I’ve got them, Comet.” Ayla set the antlers on Stephanie’s bedside table before  leaning over and dropping a kiss to the top of her daughter’s head. “Happy Christmas?” she murmured.
“Happy Christmas,” she heard back, mumbled and muffled by a yawn. Stephanie’s eyes were closed before Ayla had even shut the door.
Ayla paused in the living room, looking up at the Christmas tree. There was bauble with Stephanie’s baby handprint on, the clay snowman ornament she had made in kindergarten, now missing half its glitter, the paper stocking. Memories of Christmases past; of arguments, of stress, of her little girl’s disappointment that her dad hadn’t shown up at the front door as the holiday surprise she’d been secretly hoping for…
Chewing her lip, Ayla picked up the ribbon from Thomas’ gift and unfastened her star brooch from her jumper. Looping the ribbon through the clasp, she tied a neat bow before hanging it on a bare branch where it swayed slowly, catching the light and casting sparks of colour across the room.
Stepping back, Ayla allowed herself a small smile and a quick nod before leaving the room, letting the day’s happy memory sit among the rest, the brightest and most vivid of them all.
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Only Human
Chapter 6: Shelter Without a Goal 
Marcus’s tumbledown van was good for shelter and travel, but that was about it. It took three days for even him to get restless. Restless meaning, “I can’t take this! We gotta stay somewhere!” 
“But we’re still on the run,” Cally reasoned. “What if they have informants at hotels?” 
“Then we can stay at some rinky-dink motel! Somewhere ain’t nobody tryna be.” Marcus didn’t talk like that often. When he did, he was either really relaxed or super stressed. Given that not ten minutes ago he’d been freaking out over his tattoo and recently granted superpowers, it was clear which one it was. 
“And an easy place to take us out and get rid of the bodies,” Cally pointed out. 
“And an easier place to set traps,” Marcus answered. “Like the one that saved us.” 
Cally hesitated. “...Ari?” 
“...Maybe we should stay somewhere. Just to lay low. If we’re caught on the road, we probably won't be able to outrun them,” Ari suggested, wringing their hands together. “At least in a motel, we can set traps like Marcus said. And we can hide.”
“...Alright. We’ll stay at a motel. But only for a few days. We can’t afford to stay in one place for too long,” Cally acquiesced. She picked up her backpack and rummaged inside. “Next question is if we have enough money for that.”
“I should still have $30 left,” Ari said, pulling her wallet out. They gathered up all the money inside, nodded his head at the sum, and handed it to Cally. “Yep, $30 exact.”
“Check my bag. I should have $50 in there,” Marcus said, making a vague gesture to the floorboard. “There’s a small town up ahead. I can stop there and check if there’s a motel.”
As the trio neared the ramshackle town, Marcus noted a sign above a rickety old building that read ‘Rusty Pelican Motel.’ And true to its name, the entire building seemed heavily rusted. 
“That looks to be about as good as we’re gonna get,” Marcus said, pulling into the parking lot. 
“At least it looks like it won't cost much,” Ari added, stepping out of the van. 
Cally nodded. “Probably. How should we make money in the meantime? So we can get food, supplies, gas, et cetera? Given that literal superbeings are coming for our heads...” 
Marcus shrugged. “We could sing and have a hat on the ground.” 
Cally deadpanned. “...Seriously, Marcus? We don’t even have any in-” 
Marcus pointed at Ari, who was pulling a guitar case out of the car. “Ari is with us, we have instruments.” 
“I haven’t played guitar in awhile, but I should still be pretty good at it,” Ari said, strumming the guitar to demonstrate. 
“Then it’s settled,” Cally replied. “We can do it tomorrow.” 
“I really hope this motel has actual beds,” Ari said, putting the guitar back into its case.” 
“Same,” Marcus replied, opening the door. A group of girls and who looked to be a choir were gathered in the lobby, the choir director trying to calm down the rambunctious teens. 
“Since when do choirs practice in motels?” Ari whispered, leaning over to Cally. 
“I saw a broken down bus. Maybe they were going to do a concert,” she replied. “At any rate, it’s probably none of our business, so we should just get a room.” 
Smiling, Cally took the lead, starting to go through the girls, Marcus and Ari close behind. “Excuse me, pardon me, if you don’t mind-” 
“Hey! You guys are from that car chase video!” One of the girls gasped, turning away from the choir director. 
“...Say what, now?” Marcus asked, confused. 
“They called you the One Punch Marksman!” another girl gushed. “You tricked that scary guy and shot him twice!” 
“And the chase… it was awesome! How’d you do the effects?!” 
Marcus blushed. “Uh…” 
Cally burst in before he could answer. “We dunno. We just did the acting.” 
“It was so cool!” giggled one. “Can we get pictures?” 
 “And autographs?” 
“And-” 
“Hey, hey! Look, I know you guys are excited, but we’re just here to find a room, ok?” Ari interjected, pulling Cally away from the group. “Can you just... chill? Please?”
The girls giggled and conceded, backing away as Cally and Marcus headed to the desk. “Hey,” Marcus smiled. “Any chance you got a spare room?” 
“Almost nobody ever stays here. ‘Course we have a room,” the man across the desk answered. 
“How much?” 
“Since you three got some fame to your names, the boss wants me to give ya a discount. $20.” 
“So $40 for two nights?” Cally asked. 
“Yeah,” the man replied, putting a hand out for the cash. 
“Sounds good!” beamed Ari, handing it over. “So where’s our room?” 
“Second floor. Just head left as far as you can go, then take a right. Your room is at the end of that hallway,” The man said, handing the room keys to Ari. 
“Thanks,” the teen replied, then tilted his head to tell Cally and Marcus to leave. As they headed up the stairs to the second floor, the rinky dink nature of the motel only became more apparent.
“I don’t like how dark this part of the hotel is,” Cally said. “If we get attacked-”
“Yeah,” Marcus replied. “Not exactly cool with this, either.” 
“Guys, smile!” Ari beamed. “We got a hotel room! And a pool!” 
The pool was... it made Marcus sad just looking at it, but it was a pool. Which was more than they’d had three days ago. 
“It’s...Certainly something,” He said. 
“I’ll take this over being cooped up in a van. No offense, Marcus,” Ari said.
“None taken, it was crowded.” 
“Ok, he said that our room would be down the hall...Ah! There it is,” Ari pointed down a hall on their left. An uninviting wooden door stood at the end of the corridor. 
Marcus groaned. “Ugh.” 
Cally sighed. “How is this place still open?” 
“People looking for a quick place to stay? I mean, that’s why we’re here,” Ari shrugged. 
“Fair,” Marcus agreed. “And $20, what a deal.” 
“I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth,” Cally replied as Ari tossed her the keys. “Well, we may as well make ourselves at home.” 
Marcus coughed once the door was open, the smell of smoke was so strong. “Gah, son of a gun, who even?! They gave us a smoking room?!”
“Where is it even coming from?” Ari choughed, covering their mouth. 
“I dunno,” groaned Cally. “But it’s all we can get. Let’s just get changed and go to bed.” 
Marcus sighed once they were all in, then took off his shirt in the cramped room, pulling out a pajama shirt to wear instead. 
Cally got into the tiny bathroom to change, and Ari turned their back to Marcus while changing. 
Once they were changed, Cally crossed her arms. “One bed. That’s it.” 
“Big enough for all of us,” Marcus replied. 
Cally winced. “Yeah... I’m not doing that. Hand me one of those extra blankets, I’m sleeping on the floor.” 
Marcus nodded. “Suit yourself. Ari?” 
“I’m fine with the floor. Besides, I doubt all of us trying to crowd onto the bed would even be comfortable.” 
Marcus chuckled bitterly. “Like it’ll be comfortable anyway.” 
“Yeah. Looks like it doesn’t even have springs in it.” Ari frowned at the bed. 
Cally nodded. “Honestly, the floor is the better option.” 
“Here’s hoping this place doesn’t have rats,” Ari remarked. They took the blankets and pillows off the bed and laid them out on the floor. “Are there any more blankets in that closet?” She asked, pointing to a door on the other side of the room.
"Lemme see," Marcus replied, looking at the closet. "I see one." Balling it up, the tattooed teen tossed it to Ari and got into bed. “Night, you two.” 
“Night, Marcus. Night, Cal,” Ari smiled, burying himself under the covers. 
“Night,” Cally said simply, turning off the lights and allowing herself the pleasure of forgetting her troubles, drowning them in the darkness of her sleep. 
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stitchlesswitch · 5 years
Text
When Spells go Awry; a Post for the Imperfect Witch
1 Leaky Spell Jars
I made a spell jar and brought it to work with me; imagine my surprise and sadness when I realized that it was leaking! I didn’t seal the lid tight enough before pouring the wax! I was like, well shit, what do I do  now? Are you allowed to re-seal spell jars??? Do I have to start over!
Fear not! I found this helpful post: 
https://tarotpugs.com/2018/08/06/spell-jars-spell-bottles-and-candle-magick-when-to-fix-repair-throw-away-or-start-over/
Essentially:
A little leak, don’t be afraid to retighten and reseal with wax
A big leak, add more of the lost ingredients before retightening and resealing
If it literally breaks, you will need to start over, WITHOUT using any of the same materials. 
Additionally, I found this quote super helpful: “If a glass spell jar breaks due to dropping it, getting knocked over, etc., the broken glass from the jar can be used to make a Witch’s Jar.A Witch’s Jar is a jar filled with sharp objects such as nails, broken glass, knives and often urine from the witch (vinegar or alcohol can be a substitute) often used for protection of the home and witch.The Witch’s Jar can be buried under the porch of the front entrance or placed near the front or back entrance of the home.”
At one point, I needed to leave a spell to go to my yard to collect bamboo and clovers. This would mean I would need to either leave my lit candles unsupervised or interrupt the spell by putting them out. ALWAYS use candle safety, regardless of the spell! This webpage reaffirmed that it’s Okay if you need to snuff out (specifically not blow out) a candle in the middle of a spell if you can’t supervise the flame properly the entire time, and to relight it once you can. 
So a HUGE shoutout to “Stacey and Tarot Pugs” for writing this.
But that’s not all the fuck ups your witch did in the past few days!
2 What do you do when you’re just “Not happy” with your spell jar?
My second fuck up is I pick the wrong sized bottle for a different spell jar. It looked Ridiculous, the ingredients only took up 5% of the bottle. I had to ask myself, well shit---Do I start over just for aesthetics??? 
Perhaps there is a wiser, more eloquent answer out there, but I basically went with, if I’m not one hundred percent happy with it, then its magic is handicapped. And I wasn’t one hundred percent happy with it. So I started over with a correct sized bottle and was much happier with the result. I’m telling you this because no, while your jar does NOT have to be flawless or picture-esque, you DO need to love your jar in order for it to work. If you’re looking at your jar and you’re disappointed or thinking you could have done it better, then you know what you need to do. I’m not a minimalist person or witch--I need my jars to be extra or else they don’t feel like me. I don’t do blank space. 
3 Fuck I forgot what my damn herbs correspond with--in the middle of a spell
So a lot of my spell jars involve “doing what feels right to me” so while I do grab inspiration from a lot of other people’s spells, I don’t exactly follow rigid recipes. And you’ll read about a hundred times about writing correspondences in your book of shadows, and my dumb ass didn’t. And now I know why. 
You write it down in a book of shadows because youre not going to fucking remember everything. But if you have basil and write down basil’s correspondences, or if you provide a rough recipe in your book of shadows for certain types of spell jars, then you don’t fucking have to remember everything.
It’s easy to have it down pat when you’re doing it all the time, but then life gets in the way and it’s been weeks since you’ve thrown something together and you’re back to confusing the correspondences between bay leaves and basil. 
This is where I like to get my quick and dirty correspondences:
https://witchipedia.com/
Not overly high class I know, but that site gets the job done lemme tell ya.
In Sum, do your best. It’s hard to learn if you never try. 
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n00dl3gal · 5 years
Text
Sweeter Than a Cupcake (McCree x OC)
A commission for @junko-brewer! A challenging but fun story for me to write, than you again for your support!
Commission Info  |  Archive of Our Own
McCree didn’t consider himself to have much of a sweet tooth. It wasn’t that he was against candy or desserts, he just tended to favor savory food more. There were, of course, exceptions. If there was a plate of biscochitos in sight, he’d devour them quicker than Tracer could Blink. And if he found himself passing through Cincinnati, he’d always find himself opening Bunny’s door. 
Bunny looked up from the counter she was wiping. “Jesse McCree,” she said, voice exasperated. Her hands were on her hips like a cross mother, but her smile was warm. Despite her voice, McCree could tell she was glad to see him. The feeling was mutual.“You have a lot of nerve showing up here again.”
McCree tipped his hat in response. “And a good day to you, Miss Bunny. If this is about the tab at the bar down the street-” 
Bunny laughed. “I mean waltzing in like there isn’t a bounty on your head,” she chastised, setting her rag aside. “If I had known the first time you came by just what kind of trouble you were, I would’ve refused service.”
He shrugged, looking over the case of cupcakes. “Now we both know that’s a lie. You’ll always hold the door for a paying customer,” he teased. Bunny blushed slightly, lips downturned in a pout. “And maybe it is dangerous coming back, but with cupcakes as good as yours… well, I’ve always been a bit reckless. What’s good today?”
The baker smiled, still flushed, and reached into the case. “I think you’ll like this one in particular,” she announced, setting it on a plate. “For a man as fond as whiskey as you, a Jack-and-Coke cupcake. All the flavor, none of the booze.” McCree reached for the cupcake, but was smacked back by Bunny. “Hey! Pay first, food second.”
“Alright, alright,” he conceded, reaching for his wallet. The bell above the door jingled again. Bunny looked at the new arrival and paled, prompting McCree to turn around. “Ah, speak of the bounty…” 
“For someone with that much money on your head, you do tend to attract attention,” the bounty hunter said. “It’s pretty easy to track down a man in a serape in Ohio.” 
McCree tipped his hat. “Gotta keep up appearances, ya know? You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you, Naomi?” 
The bounty hunter- Naomi- flicked her ponytail back and cocked her gun. Bunny squawked at the sight, shaking. “Drop the cupcake and come with me, McCree. I don’t want to involve any innocents in this.” 
“Funny. Neither do I.” In a flash, he had jumped onto Naomi and had her in a stranglehold. She choked, giving McCree ample time to pry her gun away. Naomi managed to elbow him the gut, however, and used his exhale to free herself. She tore her gun back from his hands and pistol-whipped the side of his head.
McCree was seeing stars, barely able to roll out of the way. Chairs fell over in the chaos. Naomi was lining up her shot again when he used one of his flashbangs to blind her. For a moment, it seemed like it worked, but McCree wasn’t able to pull her weapon away before her eyes refocused. 
He was staring down the barrel, knowing full well a shot at this range would be instantly lethal. With a grunt, he placed his metal arm over the gun and punched Naomi in the face. “I hate beating up a lady, but if they make the first move…” 
Bunny had long since ducked under the counter, knees to her chest. She held her hands over her ears as she shook. A fight, in her bakery! All she had wanted to do today was test out the recipe for her new lavender-and-honey cupcakes and make a few sales, not fear for her life!
Naomi staggered back, holding her nose. “The rest of my team isn’t far behind, McCree. We’ve been staking this place out since Tuesday… awfully nice of the baker to confirm you’re a repeat customer.” 
Bunny gulped. She didn’t dare poke her head and look at McCree’s expression. Was all of this her fault? 
It didn’t matter. McCree had taken the opportunity to tackle Naomi head-on. In a panic, the bounty hunter’s finger slipped, firing the gun. It flew off towards the glass case Bunny was hiding behind, and the sound of shattering glass echoed across the room. McCree held Naomi down to the ground, hand over her throat, until she finally passed out. 
He stood, surveying the store. Aside from some upturned chairs and tables and the cupcake case, it remained intact. Good. He hated adding to the sum on his head. McCree leaped over the table to find- “shit!” 
Bunny was clutching her arm, bleeding. Some shrapnel from the case must have hit her. “I- is she- did you kill her?” Bunny cried. 
“Just passed out,” McCree reassured her. “You have bandages anywhere?”
“B-by the sink in the kitchen,” Bunny said, gesturing with her foot. McCree found the first aid kit easily, crouching next to Bunny. “Should I go to a hospital or-” 
“Lemme take a look,” McCree interrupted, guiding her arm away. The cut was long but not deep. Stitches probably would help, but a wanted man taking an innocent woman to the hospital was sure to stir up additional trouble. Bunny looked traumatized enough as it was, eyes darting around the place. “Bandages will do for now. This may sting a bit,” he warned, opening a wipe. 
Bunny didn’t hiss when the wipe traveled across the wound, but McCree could see tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Some part of him wanted to wipe them away. He was quick; years of working with Deadlocke and Blackwatch had trained him well. Gauze was wrapped around the cut quickly, secured with a safety pin. “There, all finished. Stay right here, I’m gonna make sure nobody else is here to mess up your store.” 
He stood and made his way to the door. There were no suspicious vehicles outside, or people with unusually large backpacks or coats. It was entirely possible Naomi was bluffing. McCree flipped the open sign around and told Bunny it was safe. 
She stood on shaky legs, eyes still searching like her namesake. “I-I don’t think we should stay here. Either of us.” “Couldn’t agree more,” McCree answered, tucking Peacekeeper back in his holster. “Lead the way back to your place, Miss Bunny.” 
“Wh-what?” Bunny choked, trembling even more. The blush from earlier had returned, stronger than before. “B-but- you should go! What if there really are more b-bounty hunters looking for you?” 
McCree shrugged. “Then I’ll deal with ‘em when they show their ugly mugs. I’m not about to let a lady in your condition walk home on her own, ‘specially with dangerous folks out for blood. Speaking of which…” He began straightening the chairs and let out a soft sigh when Bunny joined him. Good to know that, despite her anxiety, she was still able to tend to her store. “Never mind. We can discuss it once we get you home.” 
. . .
Bunny’s apartment was small, but cozy. McCree was surprised to see there was a balcony; he wasn’t sure how much Bunny made, but usually a balcony like that would hike up rent considerably. It was small, though, and covered in foliage. Potted plants, both green and flowered, dotted the railings and the floor. McCree had never been to the rainforest, but he imagined it was similar. 
The inside was just as much of a menagerie, just for fauna, not flora. As soon as Bunny had unlocked the door, an overweight house cat had come to greet her before running off at the sight of McCree. Bunny explained that he was skittish around guests, especially men. McCree wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not. He did think the bearded dragon lounging on a hammock was better company. 
Bunny was headed for the kitchen when McCree intercepted her. “Just tell me where everything is and I’ll make ya a cup of tea,” he said kindly. “Unless if doing somethin’ll help you keep your mind off things.” 
“I think it might,” Bunny replied, reaching for the cupboard. “Is there anything you’d like? I realize they don’t compare to cupcakes, but… I think I have some, uh, stronger stuff.” She pointed towards the top shelf. 
McCree pulled out his flask. “I’m fine, but I appreciate it.” Bunny nodded and busied herself with preparing the kettle. While she worked, he sat at the kitchen table, watching her work. She was a pretty young thing, wide eyes and dirty blonde hair. Short, too, making her look even younger than she was. McCree couldn’t relate. “So… what Naomi said. About you sellin’ me out.” 
Bunny sighed. She didn’t answer as she set the kettle on the stove. “I didn’t realize,” she eventually began, laughing bitterly. “I didn’t even know about the bounty. They came, asked about you, and I thought maybe they were friends of yours. I try to assume the best in people, but maybe… maybe I shouldn’t.” 
McCree shook his head. “No, it’s good to be an optimist. But ya need to be careful. There are bad people out there,” he said slowly. “But for every single bad folk, there’s at least three good’uns. Trust me, I’ve met a lotta ‘em.” 
Bunny nodded and finished making their tea. “It’s just lemon flavored, I hope that’s alright. Sugar?” she offered, passing a cup to McCree. They both added their sugar, Bunny pouring in a small portion of milk. McCree did the same, but with a shot from his flask. They both drank in silence, letting the warmth of the tea calm them down. “How did- never mind, it’s probably not something you want to talk about.” 
“If it’s about my arm, then yeah, that’s a bit personal,” McCree replied. “But if you’re wonderin’ about the bounty… well, it’s a long story.” 
“That’s alright,” Bunny told him. “I’m patient and we have time.” 
“Alrighty then, where to start… how much do you know ‘bout Overwatch?” 
Bunny stroked her chin, thinking. “They were a military-like group who rose to prominence during the first Omnic Crisis, and were recognized as heroes… but something changed and the public turned on them. I was a child when the last of them were disbanded. Why?” 
“See, I was part of Overwatch,” McCree explained. “Not at first, mind you. When I was around your age, I… well, I was one of the Deadlocke Gang’s founding members.” 
“A gang?” Bunny gasped, nearly dropping her cup. “You- did you-” 
McCree sighed. “I ain’t proud of what I did back then, not anymore. But at the time… Deadlocke was my family. If it felt that right, it couldn’t be wrong. But then we got busted by Overwatch and they gave me a choice: join them or rot in jail.” 
“And you chose the former,” Bunny concluded. Her shoulders were haunched, like she was still prepared to run. Maybe explaining this wasn’t the best idea. Too late to stop now. 
“Bullseye,” McCree said. “Put me in Blackwatch, Overwatch’s covert ops group. Second to Gabriel Reyes. Now Reyes… hoo, that man. He could shoot like the best of ‘em but had a temper a mile wide. Both he and Jack Morrison were in the runnin’ to be Strike Commander. Basically the head honcho of the whole organization,” he elaborated at Bunny’s blank expression. He paused to take another gulp. The burning on his throat reminded him of his cigars. Maybe he’d sneak off to the balcony for a smoke later. “Morrison got the job, and Reyes was shipped to the rejects in Blackwatch. And then… things got nasty.” 
“What do you mean, ‘nasty?’” 
“I don’t remember all the details, but there was another Blackwatch agent- Moira. She and Reyes did some science-y stuff I still don’t understand, and at some point both became double agents for Talon.” 
That got Bunny’s attention. “Talon- the terrorist organization? The ones responsible for Mondatta’s death? I was watching his speech on TV when… oh my gosh,” she whispered, gnawing at her lower lip. 
“Shit hit the fan, as it were. Overwatch was disbanded, and I… well, I had years of covert ops under my belt. And I was a former gang member. Still, sixty million…” McCree took another sip of his tea. “Gosh, it sure build up quick, don’t it?” He laughed, but there was no humor behind it. 
Bunny rubbed her arms. “I’m harboring a wanted criminal. A very attractive criminal, but I’m sitll-” “Hey now, don’t think of me like that,” McCree teased. “I’m just passing through. A houseguest for the night. Not even that, if you don’t want. Don’t stop with the compliments, though.”
Bunny looked away shyly. “Just for the night… and s-say I did want you to stay the night.” Slowly, delicately, she reached across the table and took his flesh hand in hers. “And maybe future nights, too.” “Oh darlin’, you flatter me,” McCree said earnestly. He felt a little warm. “But you’re not doing all right in the head right now, that incident must be playin’ with your mind. Savior complex or somethin’, Winston would know what it’s called.” 
“It’s not- why do you think I was so eager to talk about you in the first place, Jesse? When they said that you were coming back, I was so excited- I made those cupcakes especially for you. I mean, I was planning on testing the recipe soon anyway, but-” Bunny grew more animated as she spoke, blush spreading across her face. McCree had a feeling his was a mirror reflection. “But I wanted you to be the first to taste them, Jesse.” 
Hearing his first name was a lot for him. Most people only ever called him McCree, especially after Overwatch ended. “Ah, shit… you’re gonna make this ol’ cowboy soft yet, Miss Bunny.” He stood from his chair, teacups rattling as he pushed away from the table. Bunny blinked owlishly as he approached. He quickly pulled off his hat and set it on her head. She pushed it up with one finger, giggling. “Alright. I always thought I was coming back for the food, but I guess there was another reason I kept visiting… and while I can’t stay for long, that means we gotta make the most of our time, right?” He picked her up, bridal style, and spun her around. 
Bunny laughed, hat flying off as she threw her head back. “J-Jesse! Put me down!” 
“Whatever you say, pumpkin,” he answered in the most arrogant voice he could muster. He carried her to the couch and laid her down, kneeling beside it. He kept his hand in hers. Bunny smiled up at him, using her free hand to caress his cheek. “You know, I’ve never met a bunny as cute as you. Real rabbits’ just don’t compare.” 
“Is that supposed to be an attempt at flirting? Or are you trying to make me laugh?” Bunny joked, stroking his jaw. 
His metal fingers danced across her stomach, eliciting a number of giggles. “Nah, if I wanted to make ya laugh, I think I have a few options. That was a genuine compliment.” He kept tickling her until she threatened to fall off the couch. Distantly, he heard the cat meow in irritation. 
Between her laughs, Bunny managed to guide McCree’s face closer to hers. “I could think of a few compliments for yourself, Jesse,” she said in the air between them before pressing a kiss to 
his lips. 
She tasted sweet, with a sour undercurrent that threatened to sweep McCree away. Lemon and milk filled his nostrils and he breathed her in. It was an innocent kiss, in all honesty, with only the barest heat behind it. Still, the touch of another human so intimately was something he craved. He kissed her back, just as tenderly as she did. 
He pulled away slowly. “As wonderful as this is, kneelin’ like this ain’t do my knees any favors. You mind scooching over?” She did, and McCree joined her on the couch. “Thank you. Now, where were we?” He was still cupping her cheek, smiling like she was the only thing that brought him joy. Her eyes were half-lidded with desire, pupils wide. 
“Oh, I think I remember,” she teased, kissing him again. She grabbed fistfuls of his hair as they kissed, pulling gently. McCree hissed at the sensation, letting Bunny slide her tongue in. They stayed like that for several minutes, kissing and pulling each other close, until Bunny was basically straddling him. “I don’t… even if we just have tonight,” she whispered, kissing his jaw gingerly. “Even if it’s just tonight, I don’t want to rush this. I don’t-” 
“Hey now, darlin’,” McCree reassured her, rubbing her back. “We don’t have to do anythin’ you’re not comfortable with. But it’s startin’ to get late… should we head back to your bedroom? Again, don’t need to do anything. You can always say no or change your mind.” 
Bunny nodded. “No, I’d like that very much. Please… promise me you’ll still be here in the morning. I know you have to go, but I don’t want to lose you just yet.” 
Another quiet kiss. “I promise, Bunny.” 
And he stayed. And he always came back. 
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slytherin-puffskein · 5 years
Text
Waiting for Sunday
Random Sentence Starters | Requests Closed
From @cervo-live-in-arts: What did you just say?
- - -
Featuring @thecursedvaultchild‘s MC, Summer Charn.
Special thanks to @caustic-curses for helping me finding a title.
- - -
“This is getting ridiculous.”
Tearing his gaze away from his book, Laurent shifted his attention to Summer with a frown touching his lips. “What do you mean?”
Summer let out a deep sigh, as if she was getting ready to tell an entire monologue. However, once she leaned forward and pressed her chin against her palm she only looked at Lau with an expression he failed to decipher. “You know exactly what I mean, Berry. This has been going on for two months and you haven’t even made a move!”
“Oh come on, Sum!” The redhead exclaimed, putting his book away. “I got more important things to do than this! I have an exam next Friday, in case you forgot!”
Upon her friend’s reaction Summer couldn’t help but snort, getting off the couch in order to settle on his lap, arm snaking around his shoulders. “Forget about the exam. Lemme think... what other things can you focus on, hm?” She gently pressed her fingertip against Lau’s nose, earning an irritated sigh from him. Suddenly, a glint passed through her eyes. “I know! It’s Sunday.”
Which only meant one thing: Pizza Night. Lau’s face immediately turned as pale as a sheet and he awkwardly shifted on his seat, blushing furiously. Fuck, she knows exactly what she is doing.
Summer tilted her head innocently. “Do you call, or shall I do the honours?”
- - -
Working part-time in a flower shop definitely had it's perks, Laurent couldn't deny it. Each day was filled with beautiful flowers surrounding him, as well as customers sharing the same passion as him. What was there not to like!? It almost, almost appeased him from all the stress college gave him. However, dealing with a job as well as school also had downsides that were most apparent when it came to meals. Laurent adored cooking and Summer definitely enjoyed whatever he whipped up, but sometimes he was just too tired to come up with something. A fact that led to Summer deciding on one thing: Wednesday is Chinese takeout night, and Sunday is Pizza night.
“What did you just say? This is useless, Sum. I can handle some cooking.”
“No you can’t! Now let me call that Chinese restaurant, I heard that their food is amazing.”
He had no choice but to listen to her, and now here they were having takeout nights. While he could tolerate Chinese food, he drew the line at greasy and unhealthy pizza. Why get pizza when you can have something much more tastier? Why would people prefer pizza? The answer was beyond Lau... but he was willing to make a sacrifice for Summer’s sake and let her order some. The first few restaurant have been disastrous, but they eventually settled with one that actually had decent food (it was actually excellent, but Lau was too proud to admit it to Summer and her smug self). 
And so, they ordered from that place every Sunday, because he liked the pizza. It wasn’t too greasy, nor too hot, it was just right... so that was definitely why he was always looking forward to Sunday. Why he was always jumping with excitement when the doorbell would ring. Why he always had a smile on his features. Never the thought of the handsome delivery man being the cause of these reactions crossed his mind.
It did cross Summer’s, however. That guy is dafter than I thought if he assumed I wouldn’t notice how starry eyed he gets whenever that delivery man is around. The first few times he came, she had decided to let Lau make a move without her help, but... she quickly realized that he was hopeless. Memories from the last time he came surged back to her mind.
“Hey, Lau!” Barnaby had come to know his name, and vice versa, due to many conversation by the doorstep. “I got your pizza! And, uhm...” He shyly pulled out a flower from his jacket, pink taking over his cheeks. “I found it on the way. I remembered you said you liked flowers-- I actually remembered something, isn’t that amazing?” He quickly shut himself up before speaking again. “A-Anyway, here!”
Taking the flower as well as the pizza box, Laurent was blushing as well, and he awkwardly stood still for a few seconds before finally smiling. “Think goo! I mean, thank you! Au revoir!”
With that he closed the door, his cheeks as red as his hair. That was when Summer finally realized he needed her.
- - -
And she was going to help him, whether he liked it or not. While Laurent ordered on the phone she was crafting a plan, and she adored it. This is going to be absolutely perfect, and while he might hate me at first he’ll thank me a few days later... or weeks. As Laurent hung up, she pulled on an innocent smile, crossing her legs and acting like her most innocent self. “So? How long?”
“They’re in a rush.” He replied while plopping down next to her on the couch, throwing his arm around her shoulders. “But they guaranteed at least fifteen minutes”
“At least fifteen minutes? That’s perfect, we’ll have time to watch a few Youtube videos.”
Laurent was quick to pull out his cellphone.
When the doorbell finally rang, Summer gestured to Laurent to go take it, and he reluctantly did so. The whole thing with the flower was still fresh in his mind and his thoughts were basically clashing against each other. He’s gonna be so weirded out by you, it’s going to be RIDICULOUS. Couldn’t you have just thanked him like a normal person? AND NOT SLAMMED THE DOOR ON HIS FUCKING FACE?
Sucking in a deep breath, he opened the door to be greeted by Barnaby who was adorning his usual smile. Customer service smile, or he actually likes me...? No. He definitely changed his mind and began being into Summer, I wouldn’t blame him.
“H-”
But before Laurent could speak, Barnaby interrupted him: “Hey... erm, listen...” He nervously bit on his lips and Laurent’s heart skipped a beat. He’s gonna confess how much he hates me now. “I... If you weren’t comfortable with the flower, it’s-it’s ok! I guess it was a bit too much... so I wanna apologize! I won’t do it again and-” He trailed off, blushing. “I’m sorry...”
God, he’s adorable. Now it was Laurent’s turn to blush and bite on his lips. “I wasn’t... I didn’t...” He kept stammering for a while before finally speaking properly: “I liked it...”
They were now both looking at each other, blushing. Not saying anything because not a single word felt right in this situation. That was when Summer decided to get up and literally run to Lau, leaping at him and grabbing his shoulders with an excited smile plastered over her face.
“PIZZA!!!”
And just like that, her plan was set into motion as her friend tripped and lost his balance, resulting with him landing right on Barnaby’s chest. Out of reflex, the delivery man wrapped his arms around Lau’s waist in order to prevent what could have been a bad fall, but unfortunately that meant letting go of the pizza box. As he pulled Laurent closer, it smashed between their stomachs and dirtied their clothes with red splotches.
Summer was quick to wipe her smile off her face and pretend pure shock. “Oh my god!” She exclaimed, slapping her hands against her cheeks. “I am so sorry, I totally didn’t--”
Barnaby, however, was too focused on Laurent to listen to Summer. Oh god, oh god, I’m holding him. He’s so... short and pretty look at his HAIR. “A-Are you ok?” He squealed.
Laurent raised his head and their gazes met, resulting with shivers taking over his entire body. “I-I’m ok, don’t worry. Are you? You’re not hurt, right?” And then, looking down. “Ack! The pizza!! I’m so, so sorry!”
And then it was Barnaby’s turn to react to this disaster as panic started spreading over his features: “Ah! My boss is going to kill me! Look at my uniform! Look at your clothes! Your outfit looked so good, and now--” He forced himself to stop speaking. Idiot, it’s not the time to compliment him! Now was the time to find a solution!
Summer Charn, sitting calmly on the nearest couch, tilted her head. “I can clean it for you, meanwhile you just wait for me to be done. I swear, it’ll be so quick you'll have time to get back to work without your boss yelling at you.”
Barnaby blinked, trying to register Summer’s words. “You would? That’s so kind! Thank you, thank you!”
“Alright, then. You can chill here. Lau, go change.”
- - -
And that was how Barnaby Lee ended up wearing one of Lau’s oversized sweaters. Sitting together, they were watching Youtube videos and silence was latched into the air. Barnaby finally broke it, however.
“I’m sorry, you know, for the pizza. I, er...”
“Don’t sweat it, Barnaby” Lau reassured, selecting a cat video. “If... If I have to be sincere, I’m sort of glad it happened. We’re spending some time together, now.” Only saying this reddened Laurent’s cheeks, as well as Barnaby’s.
“Speaking of spending some time together... this is why I’m apologizing for the pizza. I... I had written my number under the top lid”
Laurent’s heart jumped inside of his chest, and he nervously twirled a strand of red hair around his finger. “I-Is that so?”
“Yes.” Barnaby confirmed. “I... I didn’t know if you would forgive me for the flower, but I wrote it anyway so that you could read it once I’m gone, and with a lot of luck c-call me so I can... ask you out. But I suppose things didn’t turn out as planned”
“A lot of things didn’t turn out as planned” Laurent giggled softly. “In fact, I’ve been meaning to.. ask you out as well”
Watching from afar, hiding behind a wall, Summer Charn was here. A smile curled her lips as she listened to their last words:
“So...” Barnaby sucked in a deep breath, as if to gather some courage. “When are you free?”
28 notes · View notes
sansloii-a · 5 years
Note
coughs so am I allowed to request all of the “salty af munday meme” answers or—
oh my fucking god || @imbruedinfear​
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strap in y’all ‘cause someone wants to hear me complain
What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?
if you post excessive ooc in quick sucession, i will unfollow you faster than the speed of light. i’ve done it in the past. i will not hesitate to do it in the future. i don’t care if it’s tagged. if i’m on and i see it, you’re gone, my friend.
What’s the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?
uuuuuuuuuuhhhhh there was this one dude that legit tried to monopolize one of my old muses on another blog, got upset when i set a main ship for said muse, complained to me nonstop, was trying to use me to get back into rping with my friend group ( which he called “the popular group” for a reason I don’t understand to this day ), only wanted to ship, got pissy over a fucking pokemon au ( if you ever wanna hear about this, lemme know ), tried to insert a ship into every au we made automatically, tried to tell me how to write smut for no reason ( said he would read it and give me tips and everything ffs ), was an asshole to my sister ( who rped way back when but doesn’t anymore ), made several friends of mine uncomfortable to the point of leaving the rp scene for a bit, blamed other people for issues that he honestly had a part in causing, and a bunch of other things that i’m forgetting right now.
i figure that’s the worst because nothing has topped that. nothing. that happened years ago, though, so i’m good now. no one fucks with me like that anymore.
What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?
i got about 10 asks from someone when i wanted to do other shit ( my asks that are in the double digits ) ‘cause they wanted me to send them an ask. annoyed me to hell and back and i promptly deleted those asks
 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  tough shit. i was not in the mood for games and i’m still not.
 Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz?
not that i know of??? i hope not ‘cause i worked real hard on all this and if you steal anything from me, i’m gonna throw a huge-ass heaping of karma your way.
 How many people don’t like you?
i dunno. i’d say none but i know not everyone is going to like me so if you’re out there and you don’t like me, you’re entitled to that. don’t tell me, though, ‘cause i don’t wanna know if you don’t like me.
How many people do you not like?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i don’t really care enough to actively not like anyone. you can annoy me but unless you piss me off and continue to piss me off, you get stuck on the “do not care” list. 
Have you managed to stay away from drama?
i give advice when needed on how to avoid whoever my convo partner is talking about and i avoid getting involved. unless it’s like… a close friend or involves a close friend, i refuse to get in the middle of whatever issue people have. i’m not about to have my ass dragged into problems that do not concern me.
i don’t cause drama either so that’s also how i stay away from it. 100% guaranteed to keep you out of drama.
Have you ever been in the middle of drama?
personal/friend drama? yes. rp drama? see above.
none of that was fun btw. it was a lot of me getting angry, being frustrated with certain behaviors, having to cut people out for doing shit/saying shit that they knew they shouldn’t have and refusing to recognize that they have fucked up and use that to change their behavior, etc. it’s draining and not fun and i’m pretty sure it shaved years off my life but y’know, it is what it is. the most i can do about it is look out for myself and keep out of relationships that will put me in those situations again.
Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?
no because i used to be friends with people that weren’t straightforward with shit and made excuses instead of changing their behavior. i don’t wanna go into it ‘cause and i can’t remember all the details but boy, peace was hard to come by and it didn’t last long. i wasn’t going to try to bring peace if people didn’t really seem to want it and level with each other.
How long do you stay mad?
depends on what you do, tbh, but it’s a couple hours at least. a couple days at most.
What’s your rp pet peeve? ( i have a lot of these )
playing “find the links” on someone’s blog. if i can’t find your links, i’ll try “/rules”, “/r.”, “/g.” and whatever else i can think of to get your rules and a couple more things to get your muse’s about. however, i shouldn’t have to and it takes little effort to make it so that your links are easily distinguishable from the background. if i don’t find them, i don’t find them. and i don’t follow/follow back
Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn’t have?
nope. not now, not ever.
 Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn’t have been?
i’ve never been in a situation where i’ve had to be forgiven for stuff i’ve done so no.
What fads/trends are you so over?
the first thing i thought of was the fucking double ampersands thing that was everywhere at some point. those annoyed me so much and i’m so glad they’re gone. super small text needs to die too. i may not wear glasses but i sure as shit ain’t straining my eyes to see what you’ve written in 3px font. 
honestly, a lot of the excessive aesthetic shit that sacrifices accessibility for #aesthetic
Have you ever rp’d with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?
nope, nope. nu-uh. if i knew for a fact that this person was abusive in that moment, i wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole. absolutely fucking not. 
Have you ever made a public call out post?
-loud snort- hell no.
What has made you completely lose your chill?
honestly? look at my worst experience and that about sums up shit that has made me lose my chill. you really gotta push my fucking buttons to make me mad ‘cause i’m usually pretty laid back.
What do you think about public call out posts?
answered here
A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting? 
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i dunno. i’ve only been in one before and that was f.ire e.mblem
 A fandom that you feel is open and accepting?
imma be real honest with y’all--the only fandom i’ve been in that i will acknowledge is f.ire e.mblem and i had a pretty sweet time there. i had some ups and downs but it was an overall good experience for me. it was pretty open and inviting in my opinion but i tended to stay away from the douchebags in the fandom ‘cause i just wanted to have a good time there.
Thoughts on duplicates following you?
 if i have duplicates of my oc following me, i’ll have a whole fucking cow 
Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?
i don’t think it’s forced interaction most of the time ( with sentence starters, symbol memes, memes that take literally zero fucking effort to send in ) ‘cause... everyone likes getting stuff, y’know. if you wanna reblog it from someone, just take a moment to send something in if the interaction is feasible. that’s the key thing here. if it’s feasible, then i don’t see the issue with sending something in before you reblog it from someone ( especially if you’re mutuals ). if it isn’t and you just wanna reblog it, reblog it from the source. it’s not that serious.
if someone nitpicks you for rebloging the same meme they did but you reblogged it from the source, i wouldn’t feel too bad. you know what’s best for your muses and if you don’t feel like the meme is cohesive for interactions, then that’s your prerogative and the 
Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?
answered here
Has someone been jealous of you?
i’ve only been told that someone was jealous of me once and it was a long time ago. i have never heard that from anyone again ( not that i remember, at least )
Have you ever been jealous of anyone?
mhm! but it usually comes when i’m feeling super down about my blog and doubting my ocs ( which isn’t often ). when i do get jealous, it’s over interactions and the like and my big dumb galactic brain is like “wow, don’t you wish you had those interactions? don’t you wish you were rping with those people?” and makes me feel bad about the interactions i have, the speed at which i reply, my ocs, how many people are interesting in my ocs, etc. however, this shit doesn’t last long ‘cause i have a bunch of wonderful people that motivate me to get out of that funk and just... focus on what i have instead of what i’m seeing on my dash. i remind myself that i’m here to have fun and i shouldn’t try to match my experience to others’
How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?
more formatting, smaller icons, more focus on having a fancy ass theme, more formatting, more callout posts, less communication in some regard, more reminders for communication.more psa posts, more formatting--
honestly, i’ve been on tumblr since 2012 and most of it is a blur lmao. i probably don’t remember everything ‘cause i was.... 15 when i started rping on here. i’m 22 now. i’m sure a lot has changed in seven years but i definitely haven’t seen it all.
Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?
i’m currently a fandomless blog and boy, is it a lot more fun XD i have a lot more creative liberty and i can shape the world my muses live in to my liking, as opposed to following or just adding onto what the fandom universe already is. it’s a lot of work and it takes a ton of time but it’s fun and i’m enjoying every second of it! 
How salty are you feeling right now?
answered here but i’ll just say it again: not salty. just tired and rambly because holy shit this took a while
2 notes · View notes
zoesrose · 3 years
Text
TEXTS; ZOE & YAS 
pt. 3 - April 2021 - June 2021
APRIL
yasmin puckerman
Hey, you up?
zoe rose
Yes. Is everything okay?
yasmin puckerman
yeah yeah, everythings good I’m just up. Smoking out my window and was just thinking
zoe rose
Thinking about what?
yasmin puckerman
Thinkin bout you
wyd?
zoe rose
I just finished smoking. Laying here. Eating that candy you left here Saturday.
Exactly what about me are you thinking of?
yasmin puckerman
damn that’s where I left that
Your ass mostly
Them dimples you got right above it
zoe rose
I'm glad you mentioned the dimples because I was going to point out that my ass has nothing on yours.
I'll save you a piece.
yasmin puckerman
nah it’s cool, you can eat it. I’ll survive I do have exceptional cheeks
zoe rose
Alright.
You do.
yasmin puckerman
That’s not all I was thinking about tho
zoe rose
Tell me.
yasmin puckerman
we never talked about the night at the empire. Was that what you wanted? I’m
am I supposed to want to go on another d
Idk this shit I got is loud
I’m trippin
zoe rose
That’s not a clear answer. Tell me.
yasmin puckerman
you had a good time right? When we went out that one night
zoe rose
A very good time, yes.
Did you?
yasmin puckerman
hell yeah My bad for whatever I said after. It was just more than usual. I don’t get pushed life that
zoe rose
I didn’t take it to heart, it just meant I did a good job humiliating you. I liked pushing you.
yasmin puckerman
I liked it too
zoe rose
I can’t afford the Grand Empire again but I would like to do that again
yasmin puckerman
being there was hella fun but that wasn’t what made it good so, that’s whatever
zoe rose
The dinner part deserves a redo. Something less stuffy.
yasmin puckerman
so you trying to do the whole thing again?
zoe rose
We don’t have to.
yasmin puckerman
let me plan this one?
zoe rose
This one... date?
yasmin puckerman
Saturday or whenever We don’t have to call it that
zoe rose
Saturday.
yasmin puckerman
Yeah, dope Saturday. Yessir
zoe rose
liked this
Goodnight, Yas.
yasmin puckerman
Night Sir
yasmin puckerman
hey wassup?
zoe rose
Hello, Yas.
yasmin puckerman
what you up too?
zoe rose
Currently? Walking around campus. Hitting that back spot that looks over the water.
yasmin puckerman
oh so you chillin chillin
zoe rose
Yes
Everything okay?
yasmin puckerman
yeah all good. I don’t got nothin to text about, I was just being nosey
zoe rose
You could always come be nosy in person.
yasmin puckerman
yeah true Drop a pin?
zoe rose
Drop a pin, what?
location
zoe rose
Do I come across as an egotistical, saditty serial killer?
yasmin puckerman
egotistical? nah wait is this a trick question?
zoe rose
But yes to the other two?
yasmin puckerman
I didn't say that are you good?
zoe rose
I've been compared to Hunter Clarington and I don't like it.
yasmin puckerman
who tf is that? you need to throw down with someone? I could be in the mood real quick
zoe rose
He's a new Dominant that's taken an extra interest in Marley. She said he reminds her of me and I don't like him, so I needed to ask.
yasmin puckerman
Oh well I can't go fighting Marley
zoe rose
I would never ask you to.
yasmin puckerman
remember this?
Tumblr media
zoe rose
So I am that type of Dominant? You really pulled some screenshots on me.
yasmin puckerman
I'm just saying, my feelings on that still stands why you saying it like its a bad thing?
zoe rose
Fuck you're right. I don't know why I'm feeling this way.
yasmin puckerman
bro, are you dropping? wyd, Sir?
zoe rose
Laying in bed. About to smoke this bowl. You?
yasmin puckerman
I was just about to roll
you got company?
zoe rose
No.
yasmin puckerman
do you want some, Sir?
zoe rose
Yes. Come over.
yasmin puckerman
ok dope omw
zoe rose
Door's open.
yasmin puckerman
you feeling better?
If you got a min this week to fit a session
lemme know? (leaf) (smoke) ahead of time maybe? Gotta clear it with the boss them
zoe rose
I’ve got minutes. Tomorrow afternoon.
yasmin puckerman
aight I’ll see what I can do
yasmin puckerman
yooo
you doing shit with your partner toni
do they sleep in your bed? I got the nig
your (plug) got gummies and shit rn?
zoe rose
He always does. Should I text him? He can have it delivered in an hour tops.
yasmin puckerman
yessir, pls $25 of nerds ropes or cookies or sum and a Q of that(fire) for me
zoe rose
You're missing something.
yasmin puckerman
yeah I didn't think that was gonna cut it forever
please and thanks, Sir?
yasmin puckerman
I'm starting an escort business wait that's not how that sounds hold up does it counts as that??
zoe rose
You're going to have to elaborate.
yasmin puckerman
I'm escorting this dude to town tomorrow for a few bucks I could be doing that a couple times just on a weekend morning and bank.
zoe rose
That's smart.
yasmin puckerman
thanks. I be thinking sometimes
zoe rose
You should charge by the hour.
yasmin puckerman
yeah, 35 the first 2 and 20 every hour after.
easy money I need to get shit in town myself tomorrow.
zoe rose
Good girl. Using this as an opportunity?
yasmin puckerman
You wanna swing by Trixie’s surprise party with me Sat?
zoe rose
Sure.
What will you be doing next week?
yasmin puckerman
Chillen Triple weeks no classes
Might pick up a few extra work shift tho, since imma be missing hours for this universal trip
zoe rose
I will also be working my ass off to rack up money.
yasmin puckerman
keepin on that grind  
zoe rose
Then maybe this Summer we can go on an actual trip. You and me.
yasmin puckerman
oh you tryin to steal my ass away for the summer??
zoe rose
Just a part of it.
yasmin puckerman
I like the sound of that.
zoe rose
I'm thinking Miami.
yasmin puckerman
dope I hear Miami jumps
zoe rose
I've been once. It does.
yasmin puckerman
theres a whole other semester to get through first
I'm really about to savor this break bc I'm hella tired of going to class
zoe rose
It's just a few more months.
yasmin puckerman
months
how did your midterm go?
zoe rose
It was fine. Yours?
yasmin puckerman
yeah good, same hb Marley?
zoe roseBOT — 04/24/2021
Hers went smoothly as well.
yasmin puckerman
Thats good no one to square up with
zoe rose
There's always next time.
yasmin puckerman
that makes me miss smight flub
zoe rose
We could go into town next week.
yasmin puckerman
yeah? I'd be down for that
zoe rose
Consider these official orders.
yasmin puckerman
Yes, Miss Sir. cool cool cool, dinner first?
zoe rose
And dessert after.
yasmin puckerman
the dessert is me right?
zoe rose
Yes.
yasmin puckerman
knew it
zoe rose
Come over on Monday too. Since we don't have class.
yasmin puckerman
I would start and end the week with me too if I could
zoe rose
See you Monday, Yas.
zoe rose
I was thinking of renting a car to drive up to Universal. Would you like to ride with me and Marley?
yasmin puckerman
You just want a back seat roller I'm on to you
zoe rose
You could always drive and I could be the back seat roller. I'm not discriminatory.
yasmin puckerman
Aight but if I drive we getting there in 2 and a half minimum
zoe rose
No. I'll drive.
yasmin puckerman
Yeah I knew you were all dry jokes
zoe rose
We'll leave Monday morning.
yasmin puckerman
You got it, Sir. I gotta remember to get my shit packed
zoe rose
Then you can pack my shit.
[ ... ]
Kidding.
yasmin puckerman
probably cause you don't want me picking all your outfits
zoe rose
All of my outfits are the same.
yasmin puckerman
Imma pack my bag and yours with my clothes
zoe rose
No. You're packing your bag and I'm packing mine.
yasmin puckerman
don’t worry. Just jokes I like your style how it is anyway
zoe rose
You're still coming over tomorrow night, correct?
yasmin puckerman
yep You planning to do anything special with me?
zoe rose
What do you want me to do to you?
yasmin puckerman
oh shit I hadn’t thought it throu No ones tied me up in a while
You wanna fuck me til I’m mad about it, Sir?
zoe rose
Wanna try that again?
yasmin puckerman
fuck, really?
I swore I had that one! Okay
Will you tie me up and fuck me til I’m mad about it pls, Sir?
zoe rose
That's better. I would love nothing more.
yasmin puckerman
You want some company now too?
I'm out on my board rn
zoe rose
I always want your company.
yasmin puckerman
So I don't gotta ask? what happens if I just start showing up?
zoe rose
My always wanting you here does not negate your need to ask for things you want.
yasmin puckerman
Do you ask for things you want? Or you always just waiting for me to do it?
zoe rose
I'm sure I've asked for you to come over on several occasions.
yasmin puckerman
when I have time I'm pulling receipts wait, that was a yes right? cause I'm already on my way
zoe rose
That was a yes.
yasmin puckerman
dope
MAY
zoe rose
Are you all packed?
yasmin puckerman
Yeah I think so I suck at packing
zoe rose
I think I over packed.
yasmin puckerman
Yeah? I think I got more toys than clothes.
zoe rose
I got my clothes in one bag, my shoes in one, my make up in another, and my shit in it's own bag too.
yasmin puckerman
Damn you got four bags??
zoe rose
My make up and oiud bags are small so they barely count.
zoe rose
Before I forget, you're under my orders Friday night and Sunday.   And I would like for you to spend Sunday with me and Marley at Disney world. Please.
yasmin puckerman
I mean, since you asked so nicel Friday, yes Sir. Got it. And hell yeah I wanna go to disney. I don't wanna take your time away from Marley though so, you sure?
zoe rose
Perfect. Marley has me to herself on Friday and Saturday, so Sunday the three of us can  spend the day together before we drive back to GroveKey.
Friday is our birthday, so if you'd like to you can give Marley a present. Though I do not want anything. Just to fuck you Friday night.
yasmin puckerman
Oh shit, that's good to know
Did I known that already??
I'll definitely grab her something.
zoe rose
Thank you.
yasmin puckerman
I'm not saying I wont get you anything tho
zoe rose
I suppose I can't stop you.
yasmin puckerman
yup
tell me more about this birthday sex?
zoe rose
I don't think you really want to know. Not asking like that.
yasmin puckerman
Yeah maybe I don't It's your birthday so, whatever you want not that it's not always whatever you want you know what I mean
zoe rose
It'll be a nice surprise for you.
yasmin puckerman
You should let me surprise you tho
zoe rose
I don't like surprises.
yasmin puckerman
not even sexy ones in the shape of me?
zoe rose
Not even those
yasmin puckerman
aight
If you say so
zoe rose
You could always tell me what you wanted to do ahead of time so it’s not a surprise
yasmin puckerman
See this why you’re the smart one between us
zoe rose
So tell me.
yasmin puckerman
how bout I just keep myself ready for friday. you could tell me when to edge over text while you're out having your day whenever you want, on the dime that way by the time your birthday sex comes around I'll already be so fucking desperate for whatever you want to do to me or not do to
if I had hit you with that friday morning you woulda been mad?
zoe rose
Yes.
yasmin puckerman
cool good
zoe rose
I would also like to dress you that day and on Sunday.
Those can be my gifts.
yasmin puckerman
I'm down but thats not your gift nice try tho
zoe rose
It will be better than any material thing you could get me.
yasmin puckerman
well you can just like it more than a  legit thing, that’s fine
zoe rose
Deal.
yasmin puckerman
(laughing)
(peace) (alien) (kiss)
yasmin puckerman
heyyyooooo Happy Birthday
zoe rose
Thank you.
[ 10am ] Now edge for me.
yasmin puckerman
yeah okay. But wait, can I bring you and Marley's gift by before you leave?
zoe rose
The correct response is 'yessir'
We'll wait for you.
yasmin puckerman
aww YESSIR ok cool, thanks oh shit wait hold on. [ ... ]
(mastur.gif)
zoe rose
loved this
Good girl.
yasmin puckerman
omw
zoe rose
[ 12:37pm ] Edge again.
yasmin puckerman
yes, Sir. got you.
masturbate.gif
zoe rose
Fuck. I can't wait to fuck you tonight.
yasmin puckerman
listen YOU can't wait???
this the second time you edged today too ooor
I'm already hella ready for you, still wet since the first time
zoe rose
That's exactly how I want you. Tonight, I want you dripping.
yasmin puckerman
fuck yeah you got it what time you guys coming back? not that I'm rushing you I'm just you know, wondering
zoe rose
Around 9pm. Why? Are you desperate already?
yasmin puckerman
I'm always desperate when you say you're going to fuck me
zoe rose
Is that so? I'll keep that in mind every time I say that.
yasmin puckerman
you gonna be thinkin about me thinkin about you?
zoe rose
I can absolutely admit to that.
yasmin puckerman
dope that mean I got you wet too?
you got any hints about you're planning to enjoy this birthday sex?
zoe rose
I haven't decided yet. There will most certainly be some choking and humiliation involved. Perhaps I'll suffocate you with my pussy.
yasmin puckerman
well damn catch me making sure this seats all clean for you, Sir.
I don't even need air
zoe rose
I’ll be sure to remember that.
[ 2:54pm ] Again.
yasmin puckerman
mastur.gif
can you see how wet I am? these panties been done for, i'm gonna have to change before I head out
zoe rose
Actually, don’t even wear underwear. And wear a skirt. I’m not done with you.
yasmin puckerman
tf am I gonna get a skirt fro yes, Sir
yasmin puckerman
[ 20 minutes later ]
Tumblr media
zero underwear, promise
zoe rose
Good girl. As soon as you get to where you’re going, you’re going to slip into the bathroom to edge for me.
yasmin puckerman
imma have to go wipe my thighs anyway so, might as well
zoe rose
Good, I like that you're dripping.
[ 7:21pm ] I'm on my way back. Edge again.
yasmin puckerman
fuck sorry, there was a line for the bathroom
(mastur.gif)
how long does it take to get back, Sir?
zoe rose
I'll be back in my room in less than thirty minutes.
yasmin puckerman
bet. I'm gonna be waiting there wait no, do you need a min?
nah i'm just gonna be waiting th
zoe rose
By the time I get to my room, I expect you kneeling in front of my door.
yasmin puckerman
oh than fu
yes, Sir. you got it. Imma be there.
zoe rose
Good girl.
yasmin puckerman
Did you know it was mothers day?
zoe rose
Yes.
yasmin puckerman
I didn't now I feel like a dick
zoe rose
It's not too late to call her.
yasmin puckerman
I'm waiting for my brother to finish
zoe rose
He beat you to it?
yasmin puckerman
The first time ion think either of us got through but yeah, he did
It's okay, she'll still love me
zoe rose
I'm sure you're fine.
yasmin puckerman
Yeah it was fine, she wasn't mad I told her about Disney Thanks for the invite today
zoe rose
Thank you for indulging Marley.
yasmin puckerman
Nah, that's light work she made it really fun
zoe rose
Yes but there was a lot of things I wouldn't with her that you did.
yasmin puckerman
I had a good time so, it's np did you?
zoe rose
I enjoyed you and Marley having a good time.
yasmin puckerman
I guess thats not a no
zoe rose
It doesn't matter because it wasn't for me. The person who was supposed to enjoy it did and that's all that I wanted.
yasmin puckerman
what would you do for your birthday if it was just for you? besides me, obviously
zoe rose
Sitting on the beach, drinking and smoking. Then maybe a car show or something later in the night. Before coming going home with you for birthday sex.
yasmin puckerman
you wanna do that next weekend? the retirement homies around this island are always having car shits, bet theres something
zoe rose
Yes. Please.
yasmin puckerman
dope I only work until 1 sat
zoe rose
Then you're under my orders for the rest of the weekend.
yasmin puckerman
yes, Sir. I mean, except I got a 6 to close sunday but beside that it'll be dope
zoe rose
We can hit the beach again before you go into work.
yasmin puckerman
you look good on the beach, so I'm down
zoe rose
I'll get the cooler ready.
yasmin puckerman
you wanna dress me?
zoe rose
For the car show? Yes.
yasmin puckerman
cool I like when you do that
zoe rose
Good. I like it too.
yasmin puckerman
loved this
yasmin puckerman
Can this be a regular thing?
zoe rose
You being mine for the weekend?
yasmin puckerman
yeah. Exactly that
zoe roseB
I want that too.
yasmin puckerman
I just might have to work sometimes. Like we did this weekend tho that’s cool, yeah?
zoe rose
I think it worked out this weekend like that.
yasmin puckerman
I think so too, Sir
it was dope
zoe rose
I think so too.
yasmin puckerman
From Saturday morning next week?
zoe rose
Yes, standing orders.
yasmin puckerman
yes, Sir
zoe rose
Good girl. Goodnight, Yas.
yasmin puckerman
Goodnight
yasmin puckerman
hey
morning or whatever
zoe rose
Good morning, Yas.
yasmin puckerman
What you up to today? Besides dumbass class
zoe rose
Just that. Bored out of my fucking mind, you?
yasmin puckerman
mood. same. everyone is always like, you don’t even enjoy the kink classes? Like I’m obviously only taking kink classes. It’s still book work and listening so, I’m still
zoe rose
Especially in the intro classes.
yasmin puckerman
I joined a study group
zoe rose
For what reason?
yasmin puckerman
to copy ppls work also I like the girl running it, she’s sweet
zoe rose
I should have known there was a cute/sweet girl involved.
yasmin puckerman
at least I know what motivates me blonde and everything
zoe rose
And here I thought I was the one set in my ways
yasmin puckerman
whats your thing? brats who are full of themselves
zoe rose
That one is actually new.
yasmin puckerman
hmm, getting adventurous
zoe rose
Seems so.
yasmin puckerman
well I'm hella happy to help  
zoe rose
Send me a pic
yasmin puckerman
of me like right now?
zoe rose
Yes.
yasmin puckerman
Tumblr media
zoe rose
liked this
Good angle.
yasmin puckerman
I’m hella sexy from all angles so, thank you
zoe rose
Yes, you are.
yasmin puckerman
Send me one, Sir?
zoe rose
Say please.
yasmin puckerman
Please, Sir?
zoe rose
Good girl.
Tumblr media
yasmin puckerman
thanks
saves image
yasmin puckerman
Mind if I kick it with you between a class today or sum?
zoe rose
No. Bored?
yasmin puckerman
Imma see if you’ll let me ask nicely to go down on you.
zoe rose
Ask nicely and we'll see.
yasmin puckerman
If I start saying what I know you’ll say before you say it, that gonna piss you off?
zoe rose
I'm not making any promises.
yasmin puckerman
damn, cause you know I’d like it
zoe rose
So go ahead and try me. What will I say?
yasmin puckerman
hb I just count my lucky stars today and ask where I should meet you? So I can ask properly
zoe rose
My place.
yasmin puckerman
okay cool thanks, Sir
zoe rose
liked this
zoe rose
Today is my turn to ask if I can go down on you between classes.
yasmin puckerman
wait you’re ASKING me???
say pleas
Uh, hell yes I don’t gotta jump through a hoop first?
zoe rose
No. I just want your pussy on my mouth.
yasmin puckerman
fuck yes wherever you want, Sir.
zoe rose
Your room exactly three minutes after our second class ends.
yasmin puckerman
I'll be right on time
zoe rose
Good girl.
yasmin puckerman
I work til 9 tomorrow, you gonna be busy?
zoe rose
I am not. Are you wanting to start our weekend early?
yasmin puckerman
Yes please
zoe rose
Yes, come over after work.
yasmin puckerman
cool also I gotta reup pls, at least a Q
zoe rose
Alright just send me the 70
yasmin puckerman
thanks
zoe rose
liked this
[ ... ]
unliked this
What do you want to do tomorrow night?
yasmin puckerman
you wanna go out?
zoe rose
Out to a club?
yasmin puckerman
yeah, I could get changed at work, meet you back at campus?
zoe rose
Yes. I'll come by your play before you go to work. Pick out when you're going to wear for the night.
yasmin puckerman
okay dope yes, Sir How was your week?
zoe rose
It was satisfactory, no complaints. I went to class, smoked, chilled. You?
yasmin puckerman
It was good, flew by They been doing that lately
zoe rose
I like it.
yasmin puckerman
must be cause of all the relaxing I do come weekends
zoe rose
Is that what we call it? Relaxing?
yasmin puckerman
that’s what I’m calling it its relaxing for me well maybe not always in the moment, but afterward, overall, that shit
zoe rose
Yes. That makes sense.
zoe rose
You sent someone to bring me coffee?
yasmin puckerman
bomb coffee did you like it?
zoe rose
I almost slammed the door in his face.
yasmin puckerman
oh no but you didn’t?
zoe rose
His only saving grace was saying your name. Otherwise he would have gotten the coffee thrown in his face.
yasmin puckerman
damn coffee is hot
wait are you mad?
I should have told you it was coming, I don’t know why I didn’t think of that
zoe rose
I'm not mad. Just thrown off.
You should have.
yasmin puckerman
my fault, I’m sorry
did you like the coffee th
maybe I could make it up to you later?
zoe rose
You're tasked with finding a girl for both of us to fuck at the club.
yasmin puckerman
yes Sir hell yes I'm all over it, any preferences?
zoe rose
Your type. I want to watch you dom someone.
yasmin puckerman
fuck okay yup, I'll keep my eye out
zoe rose
Good. Do you like the dress I chose for you tonight?
yasmin puckerman
Imma look so fine
I like everything you pick for me
zoe rose
I like everything I pick for you too.
yasmin puckerman
[ later ] I got her
coming back rn
zoe rose
I'm in Private Room 6.
yasmin puckerman
okay damn, perfect is this gonna be a just me her thing? or like a me her... me her you?
zoe rose
I'm only watching tonight.
yasmin puckerman
cool, okay dope just give me like 5 mins, Sir?
zoe rose
5 min and not a second more.
yasmin puckerman
yes, Sir
zoe rose
liked this
yasmin puckerman
I know I just left but, can I come over?
zoe rose
You really should have just stayed with me the extra day.
yasmin puckerman
I thought I'd be a big girl and sleep in my own bed tonight but nah
zoe roseBOT — 05/31/2021
Come here.
yasmin puckerman
yes, Sir
zoe rose
liked this
JUNE
yasmin puckerman
do you wanna fuck me at lunch, Sir? please? I'm in a hella bad mood
zoe rose
No. I’m not in the mood.
yasmin puckerman
okay you good?
zoe rose
Yes. Why are you in a bad mood?
yasmin puckerman
because it feels like a Monday
and I'm irritating
zoe rose
You’re irritating?
yasmin puckerman
YES me.
annoying tf out of my self
zoe rose
Take a smoke break. You'll feel better.
yasmin puckerman
you're so fucking right oh shit, thats why! I slept in so I didn't have time to this morning
zoe rose
You're welcome.
yasmin puckerman
i thought I was just in a fight with me thanks, your wisdom is plentiful
zoe rose
liked this
We got this new strand, Skywalker OG. You want?
yasmin puckerman
hell yes and also yes please
zoe rose
Good girl. You'll be getting Chinese food later on tonight.
yasmin puckerman
okay dope but I might only be able to swing a 8th rn, I gotta check the funds
zoe rose
Pay me back next paycheck.
yasmin puckerman
music to my ears
zoe rose
Mhm.
yasmin puckerman
you were def right
and I hella want to kiss you
I feel better now
zoe rose
Good.
yasmin puckerman
hey
zoe rose
Hello.
Tumblr media
yasmin puckerman
fuck I wasn’t expecting that
zoe rose
I know.
yasmin puckerman
is this an invite? or am I being teased?
zoe rose
It's always an invite.
yasmin puckerman
yeah always? I get out of work in 55 minutes.
zoe rose
Not that you're counting or anything.
yasmin puckerman
yeah I am def counting 54 minutes
zoe rose
And how long does it take you to get here?
yasmin puckerman
20 mins ish
zoe rose
Door's open. Come into the bedroom naked.
yasmin puckerman
hell yeah yes Sir.
zoe rose
liked this
yasmin puckerman
holy shit the pride tourist wave has hit grovekey it's been so fucking busy
zoe rose
Are you getting paid more?
yasmin puckerman
[ backdated ] I wish I was bout to go on a break though so I got a solid 15 mins to sit my ass down
zoe rose
Only a couple more hours. FT while I roll?
yasmin puckerman
I was just about to ask that
3 more mins and I’m headed out back.
zoe rose
Yes. Just call.
[ see here ]
yasmin puckerman
I just rolled a fatty, want me to come by?
zoe rose
Yes.
yasmin puckerman
Orange soda?
zoe rose
Yes, please.
yasmin puckerman
Dope. I'll be there in 5
hold on munchies kicked in and I'm staring into this vending machine like it owns my life do you think I want a reeses or a kit kat?
zoe rose
I thought you were waiting to smoke with me. We both want Reeses.
yasmin puckerman
nah I said I rolled I had one ready one my way home before I showered and changed maybe I should go with skittles. that meatball sub I had at work is not sittin right, chocolate probably wont help
Or them little mini cookies
zoe rose
Mhm. Not cookies, you just said chocolate won't help.
yasmin puckerman
so I don’t work sat but there’s an alum event I want to hit up at 7, do I need to ask permission or some s that cool with you Sir?
zoe rose
Which event is that?
yasmin puckerman
poker night
well it’s a men’s only thing but I wanna see if they’d let me ride and I’m cute or whatever, I’m sure I can convince somebodies rich daddy
zoe rose
Okay. You’re still ordered to my room after.
yasmin puckerman
dope It goes to 11 but I don’t think I’ll need that long to clean up$$ and head out
zoe rose
Where is it going to be held?
yasmin puckerman
someone said it was gonna be at that oak club place
zoe rose
Will you need an escort?
yasmin puckerman
yeah I will
zoe rose
Want it to be me?
yasmin puckerman
hell yeah I was gonna just figure something out but that’d be dope I’m so mf good at poker
just gotta find out what the buy in is so I’m prepared.
zoe rose
if there's a difference you can't make, I got you
yasmin puckerman
If it come to that, I’ll give it right back after I triple it
zoe rose
Alright.
Which seminars are you signing up for?
yasmin puckerman
Just the switch one if I’m gonna be forced into an extra class this week at least it’s Miss Bakers she aight
zoe rose
That's smart.
yasmin puckerman
you pick any?
zoe rose
I'm looking now. I might just do the TPE class since it's in my wheelhouse.
yasmin puckerman
yeah might be interesting, good thinking
zoe rose
Besides me dressing you, have you ever experienced TPE in the submissive role?
yasmin puckerman
nah but, I’m taking that intro class right now
zoe rose
I want to explore that with you.
yasmin puckerman
like an all day thing?
zoe rose
Starting with a few rules. Then leading up to an all day thing.
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Text
A Lexicographer’s Guide to Real Words | harm·less drudg·ery
A Lexicographer’s Guide to Real Words
One of the occupational hazards of being a lexicographer on social media is that you are often subjected to arguments about whether something is a word or not. Lexicographers see these complaints and swiftly scroll right on by them, though we do sometimes indulge in a judicious (and perfectly justified) subtweet. We’ve learned that arguing with people about whether something (usually “irregardless“) is a “real word” is a Sisyphean exercise in futility, and lexicographers get enough of that at work.
But that doesn’t help you, the person being hollered at on Twitter that “mines” isn’t a real word. Who better to tell you what a word actually is? So in the interest of settling all those arguments, forever (amen and amen), here is a short (senses 1 and 2) lexicographer’s guide to “real words.”
I think [insert reviled word here] isn’t a real word.
Let’s back up. Why do you think it’s not a real word? Because by a linguist’s definition, if it communicates meaning to an audience, then it’s “a real word.”
That’s ridiculously broad.
Oh gurl:
How do you communicate thoughts to an audience? You might communicate by uttering a string of phonetic sounds, making signs in a manual language, or writing a series of characters. Meaningful units of these sounds, signs, or written characters are often what we would consider to be words.
In short: if it’s part of a language system and communicates meaning, linguists consider it to be “a real word.”
But it’s illogical/ugly/stupid.
Just because you don’t like it doesn’t make it somehow “not real.” This is one of the more absurd notions that people have about language: that the mere dislike of a word invalidates its very existence. You’d never see that logic deployed effectively anywhere else in the real world. [Ed. note: The White House is not the real world.] I hate heat, for instance, and think temperatures above a very dry 80F can just nope right on out of here–but summer arrives every year, like clockwork, just to piss me off. Should my personal feelings about the power of the sun ruin everyone else’s beach vacation?
Besides, “illogical” and “stupid” rely on your knowledge base, and lemme tell ya, that’s smaller than you think. You may think that “inflammable” to mean “flammable” is illogical, because “in-” means “not,” but you would be wrong. “Inflammable” comes from the Latin inflammare, which means “to inflame” or “to burst into flame.” The “not” “in-” has nothing to do with it. “Inflammable” meant “flammable” before “flammable” meant “flammable”!
And even if a word is illogical or stupid, so what? You know how many completely unremarkable words arose from a stupid misreading? You use “cherry” and “apron” just fine, even though “cherry” came about because some 14th-century doofus thought the Anglo-French “cherise” was plural (it wasn’t), and “apron” came about because court clerk read “a napron” as “an apron” and rendered it as such, and then future readers thought, “Oh, man, the clerk to Edward III says it’s ‘apron,’ I better get in line,” even though that same clerk used “napron” later in the Household Ordinances, and here we are.
Language is not math. Language is people, and people are a mess. Yes, you too.
But this word is jargon, and jargon is meaningless, so it’s not a real word. Use words that actually mean something!
Jargon is, properly, the technical language of a particular group or activity. It can also refer to obscure and often pretentious language marked by circumlocutions–a definition that is pretty damned jargony. But not all jargon (sense 1) is jargon (sense 2). Hell–not all jargon (sense 1) is even all that technical! If you like a sport, have a job, go to school, have a hobby, or watch TV, then you know and use jargon. You can stream the Royal Wedding online while cabling an Aran sweater, checking the box scores for last night’s game and helping your kid figure out their math homework using manipulatives when the commercial breaks are on. Your whole life is marked by jargon of one sort or another, so stop getting your knickers in a knot over it.
But this supposedly real word isn’t in your/a/any dictionary!
It’s a common misconception that dictionaries enter every word in a language. This is a misconception started by dictionary companies who were desperate to outdo one another in sales and so made some dubious claims about how their dictionaries were “the sum of all human knowledge” and how, in dropping some bucks on one, you could “hold the English language in your two hands.”
There are many, many, many more words that do not make it into dictionaries than do, and this is the nature of the dictionary. If English is a swift moving river, then a dictionary is a cup of water scooped from that river: static, small, hopefully a good representative sample of that river, but not the river.
There are lots of reasons why a word might not be entered into a dictionary. First, what do we consider discrete words? Is the noun “compact” a different word than the verb “compact”? Are the different meanings of the noun “compact” different words? What if the different “compacts” come from different etymological sources? Is every inflection of a word a different word than the root? What about compound words like “slingshot”? Is that a different word from “sling” and “shot”? What about potential compound words, or potential inflections that we might not have now but we could at some point in the future (“mouses”), or potential affixal uses (“unfriend”)? What about words that no longer exist? What about initialisms and abbreviations? Are these all discrete words?
Incidentally, this goat rodeo is also why people who tell you that English has however many hundred-thousands words in it are full of bullshit (which can be one word or two words, depending on how you reckon).
Every professionally edited dictionary has criteria for entry–generally speaking, widespread use in printed prose for a sustained period of time–and many words never meet that criteria. Even good words! “Prepone,” a brilliant verb which means “to reschedule to an earlier time than originally scheduled” and is based on “postpone,” doesn’t yet meet the criteria for entry at Merriam-Webster, and it’s not only a clever coinage, but so frickin’ handy! Does away with the dumb confusion caused by “move back” and “move up” (“We’re moving the 10am meeting back to noon.” “So you’re moving it up to noon?” “No, we’re moving it back to noon.” “Was it originally at noon?” and then everyone sounds like a pathetic mashup of The Confederacy of the Dunces and “Who’s On First”). Everyone should use “prepone” in print, but not enough people do, and so it languishes in the database, noticed but not defined.
And there’s another sticking point. For a word to get into a dictionary, it needs to be found and tracked by lexicographers–and, to be frank, lexicographers are experiencing job creep as the industry shrinks. Gone are the halcyon days when a lexicographer had an hour or two daily to read and look for new words: now we’re busy writing and copyediting articles for the website, answering correspondence, running social media feeds, moderating comments on those feeds, brainstorming new products, doing media, writing editorial reports, proofing sales reports, coding for the database, troubleshooting the outdated data in the database…oh, and defining. Your sparkling, wonderful coinage, which you use constantly on Twitter and have, as I told you to do, used in letters to the editor or in editorials your town paper has printed…sorry I missed it. I was busy justifying my corporate existence with a click-positive article on the phrase “three sheets to the wind” in conjunction with an ad campaign we’re running with Budweiser.
The whole dictionary racket ignores the flashpoint where language is actually made: speech (or signing). Words are rarely born in print, but that’s all the lexicographers track. That means that all those words you use only in family conversations, or new words that are coined for one in-person interaction and never used again–those very real words–are lost to us. Until we hack Alexa to record everything you say and send it to our offices, that is. (j/k, lol)
Steve Kleinedler puts it best: “the English language changes too quickly and is too vast to be completely catalogued.”
Okay, let’s try this: how do I know when a word isn’t real?
Not to get all ontological and shit, but if it is a signifier of meaning used in the course of communication between people, it’s real. Even if it’s unintelligible to you! I don’t speak Polish, but I’m not going to say that Polish words aren’t real just because I don’t understand them.
You’re making me sound like a massive prick.
What’s the point, really, of declaring that a word isn’t real? It’s ultimately a show of power or superiority over someone else, and so, in that sense, it is the marker of an absolute unit of shittiness. I’ve made my feelings about correcting people’s speech known before, and this is just another variant of it. It centers someone else’s language in your own experience, and it’s ridiculous to think that yours is the default experience for everyone. Language is bigger than just one person! That’s a feature, not a bug!
So what am I supposed to do when I see a word that I think isn’t a real word but which you, a so-called professional, tells me is?
Ask about it! And if you can’t ask the person who uses it, ask a linguist, because they love it when people ask questions about things that they can actually research, instead of dumb questions like, “Oh, you’re a linguist, how many languages do you speak?”
Why do people use “mines”? There is a dictionary that will explain why–and it will also tell you about “hern” and “theirn” while it’s at it. Has someone used a jargony word, like “logomark,” that you think is redundant? Do a quick search online for how a logomark differs from a logo, and consider that perhaps, though jargon, it is a word that serves a purpose that neither “logo” nor “trademark” completely serves. Did someone utter “irregardless” in your hearing? Buy fifteen copies of this book and read the fourth chapter repeatedly. Revel in a language that is always growing and lives well beyond your grasp!
And stop tagging lexicographers on Twitter. We’re really only there for the dog pictures, man.
(via A Lexicographer’s Guide to Real Words | harm·less drudg·ery)
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binder-anon-blog · 7 years
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A small explanation for this blog!
This blog is meant for only good intentions! I wish only to spread hope and kindness to those who deserve it and need it most! Which means this is also the blog o go to if you need a shoulder to cry on or rant to, and I'll do my best to make you happy once again! Now, notice how I said those who "deserve" it, I am a blog of kindness, but if no kindness is shown to me, I will show none in return, talk shit, get hit, simple as that... I mean I can't actually hit you but, y-you get the point. Anyway, lemme answer a few quick questions for you guys in case any come to mind: •Who are you: A simple human being wishing to cheer people up! •Why are you doing this: Honestly with how the world is today how am I not, I'm sorry for being a humble brag but we need more kindness in the world, too much hate and bitterness, too many (soon to be) wars and shit going on man, what ever happened to walking outside and saying "Hey neighbor!" and your neighbor would say hello right back? It'll be impossible, but man I wish for those days to come back.. •How active will you be: As active as I can cause haha I lost my job recently.. :') Well that pretty much sums it up, enjoy my blog folks! Anymore questions just ask!
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