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ineffable-romantics · 1 year

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Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:

This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:

First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)

These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.

I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.

This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.

Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.

This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.

If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.

With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.

Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can

Food

Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).

This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.

Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.

(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)

Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.

The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.

And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.

It's What Humans Do

In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).

He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).

What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.

But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.

Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?

Angels, Demons, & Asexuality

Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.

Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)

And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).

The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.

I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.

Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.

Except...

Brielzebub

We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.

For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.

And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).

Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.

Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.

Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction

But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?

And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.

At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).

So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?

I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.

After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)

Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.

However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".

Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.

I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.

But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.

(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)

More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.

Aziraphale's Hedonism

Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.

It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.

Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.

Dancing

I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.

I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.

We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.

(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)

As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.

Love Languages

I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.

We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.

You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.

The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).

And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.

So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.

So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.

"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"

Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.

First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")

(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)

More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.

Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.

The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).

Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.

Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.

The Birds & The Bees

Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.

Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.

Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.

The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma

The Kiss. Where to even begin?

This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.

Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.

It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.

Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.

Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.

So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.

I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.

What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.

All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.

(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)

Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).

Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.

In Conclusion

I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.

So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.

You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.

But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.

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Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post

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trblsvt · 1 year

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for the books | jeon wonwoo

summary | wonwoo's students seemed intent on matching him up with a fellow teacher. he didn't really want to stop them, it was too funny for him to break up their fun. plus, he didn't mind the certain someone he was being "set up" with. genre | fluff, teacher!au warnings | none, i think let me know! word count | 2.2k words pairing | jeon wonwoo x fem!reader min | lowercase intended i literally put off my other works to write this! delulu era to the max! i advocate for women in stem!!! also! this is like an american high school-level setting. lily is so out of pocket LOL (believe it or not there is a girl just like her at my school). this was 100% self-indulgent

"mr. jeon!" his student lily called. "so you're telling me that after all that, she still hasn't kissed him?" he looked up from his desk and looked over to his obviously distraught student. "lily! i didn't even finish it yet!" her friend mina yelled at her.

"i'm sorry! it's just so crazy how they didn't even kiss! even after they made up and he said all of that to her!" lily huffed.

"what did he say to her? i haven't gotten there yet either," daniel piped in.

"just read it! i'm sorry i brought it up in the first place," lily sighed and pulled out the worksheets she was supposed to complete after reading the book. he shook his head and went back to inputting grades into his computer. it was silly to think lily was just going to do her work. "mr. jeon, do you have a girlfriend?" she asked putting her pencil down. he paused momentarily, fingers hovering over the keyboard. "dude, that's so not cool for you to ask mr. jeon," daniel complained.

"what? we're reading this romantic novel, is it not fair to ask our english teacher if he's in a relationship?" lily replied, crossing her arms. "i mean we have to be reading this book for some reason."

"maybe it's just a part of the curriculum," mina rolled her eyes.

"do you seriously think mr. jeon is sending us subminimal signals about his love life through the books we're reading?" daniel asked.

"i don't know! maybe!" lily said. the three of them continued to argue back and forth at their table. wonwoo should probably stop this before the other students get irritated with the trio. "guys, i can assure you, i am not sending any messages about my love life. please get back to your work," wonwoo cleared his throat. he heard a disappointed noise, but pencils went back to scratching and pages started flipping again. soon it was the end of the class period and everyone was packing up. it was just lily. "next time, please refrain from asking personal questions in class," he asked.

"yes, of course. i'm sorry mr. jeon," lily bowed her head.

"it's alright. it can just be a bit distracting for your classmates. let's try to be more considerate."

"will do," she said, turning on her heel.

"oh and lily, just between me and you," wonwoo paused. "i don't have a girlfriend."

"he said he wasn't in a relationship!" lily cheered. daniel stared at her baffled, "didn't he say not to tell anyone?"

"yeah, but i mean, he must know that i'm going to tell you guys. you guys don't seem as nearly as excited about this as i do."

"why would we be? he's single, it's not like you have a chance with him or something," mina commented.

"no! ew! i would never try to go after a teacher, are you crazy? i'm saying that this is a perfect opportunity for us to get mr. jeon a date!" lily practically squealed.

"a date? with who?"

"with miss ___, of course! who else? haven't you guys ever noticed that they spend almost every lunch period with each other? they're so cute together!"

"maybe they're just planning classes or something," daniel shrugged.

"um, hello? mr. jeon teachers english literature and miss ___ teaches physics b. what would they planning together?"

"touché."

"i think it's time to enact a master plan."

"so everyone understands this equation, right?" you said, turning back to face the class. "tell me now, so i can help. this equation is the very foundation to magnetism, if you don't get it now i can't promise you'll do well in this unit."

no one put their hand up. you smiled, "oh well, i guess we just have a bunch of physic masters in this class. but seriously, let me know if you need help. you can start working on your homework packet now, this way if you have questions you can ask them now. i don't need your frantic emails at midnight."

you returned to your desk and flipped through some lesson plans. you didn't get to finish eating lunch today, so you took out your lunch bag. a small slip of paper fell out of it and onto the ground. you smiled to yourself and reached down to pick it up. "miss ___!" your student lily said, she was standing at the foot of your desk.

"yes, lily?" you answered.

"i have a question about something."

"have at it."

"it isn't physics related though." you looked up, slipping the slip into your pocket. "then, what's it about? do you need to go to the nurse?" you frowned.

"no it's nothing like that, but i was told by another teacher not to ask questions like this in front of the whole class. he said it was inconsiderate," she shrugged.

"oh, um, well i guess you can go ahead."

"are you friends with mr. jeon?"

you froze. mr. jeon? as in english literature teacher mr. jeon? mr. jeon you eat lunch with him every day mr. jeon? maybe they started picking up on something. "well, yeah, i guess you could say that," you coughed. "why are you asking this all a sudden?"

"well, i came by mr. jeon's class before lunch to ask him about an assignment and i saw you there. i didn't want to interrupt, but i didn't know you guys were friends," she shrugged, averting her eyes.

"oh well, yes. mr. jeon started at his position around the same time i did a few years ago. so we got close because of that."

"that's so- i mean, i'm sorry to pry. i was just curious. i mean usually i don't see english teachers and physics teachers talk that much. thanks!"

the whole exchange left you a little baffled.

lily seemed determined to get you and wonwoo together. she began to pry more often and she was getting bolder one question at a time. she even asked if you were in a relationship and if you got you cute gifts for birthdays and holidays from your boyfriend. sometimes she got very bold and mentioned mr. jeon by name. "miss ___, don't you think mr. jeon is cute? you two would be so cute together." you had replied, "i don't think this is time or the place to talk about this, lily. please do your practice problems." you rolled your eyes, "i don't feel like i'm at liberty to answer that."

you couldn't bring yourself to actually discipline her or her friends (who had seemingly joined in on the deep dive about your love life). they were curious teenagers looking for gossip. hell, you were like that too. you felt it would be unfair to punish them for that, as long as it didn't get too inappropriate, you didn't mind. it was a bit endearing too.

you just had to push the thought out of your mind. it was time to go to lunch anyway. it was the perfect time to clear your head.

"has lily been asking you some personal questions lately?" wonwoo asked, leaning back in his chair. god, he looked so handsome today. his glasses, pressed shirt, and ironed pants. "yes, has she been causing a raucous here too?" you asked, taking a seat at one of the desks.

"well, she asked me if i think you're beautiful," he chuckled.

you paused. you would be lying if you said you didn't feel anything for the man sitting in front of you. he was smart and kind.

"of course, i told her you are a lovely human being inside and out, and to get back to doing her project."

"funny, she was telling me that she and her friends thought we'd make a cute couple." he laughed at that, and it made your chest flutter. you loved his laugh. "cute couple, that's so cute," he gasped.

"yeah i know right. who knew our students would start trying to set us up," you joked. he nodded in agreement getting up after his microwave went off from the other side of the room. "it would be so funny if they actually succeeded, but it does seem a bit pointless at this point, right?" he noted.

"yeah, totally pointless," you agreed.

you and wonwoo, being set up, by your students of all people. it sure would be for the books if it happened like that.

what an absurd idea.

the rest of the week went as usual, uneventful, but you did get to see wonwoo on the way out of the building and into the parking lot. he held his leather bag in his right hand. "on the way out today?" he asked. "don't you usually do tutoring sessions after school on fridays?"

"we just started a unit, and no one showed up after the fifteen-minute window. i'm out of here," you laughed. he smiled. you loved it when he smiled. "want to walk out together then?" he offered and pushed the door open for you. something about him was so calming and comforting. you smiled and averted your gaze to the floor. even after all these years, he made you a little nervous. you did miss the way he grinned when he caught your shy smile. he loved the way you smiled too. he couldn't wait to see it again, he needed to see it again as soon as possible. he was too lost in thought about the way you smile and the way your voice sounds, that he fell far behind you. "___, wait up," he called as you made your way through the faculty parking lot. he jogged to catch up to you and reached out to grab your hand.

"i swear i saw him kiss her out in the parking lot," daniel insisted. "they were holding hands too!" at this point, lily was totally unmotivated to get her two favorite teachers together. not after miss ___ shut her down on numerous occasions and mr. jeon was just as friendly but unbothered as ever giving his most PG answers. "whatever, daniel," lily huffed. "they would be so perfect together."

"he's literally telling you that they're together, he saw them kissing!" mina exclaimed. lily rolled her eyes. they were all hallucinating just to make themselves feel better that it was wishful thinking. "true love isn't real!" she cried.

"it's time to wake up, sweetheart," he mumbled. "you said you had lots of work to do today."

"yeah, well it's my day off too. i'll get to work later," his fiancé groaned.

"oh come on, i know you're desperate to do all that paperwork," he teased. he tugged on the warm body text to him to pull it closer to him. he loved waking up with his wonderful, beautiful, smart fiancé next to him.

he loved waking up next to you.

he knew the kids were asking about him and his love life. kids would be kids of course. "lily won't stop asking about my love life. it's funny since we both teach her," he said.

"i guess, she's never noticed the necklace with the ring hanging around my neck," you chuckled, nuzzling your face into wonwoo's neck. his arms easily wrapped around your body. he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. "you know, lily asked me if i had a girlfriend the other week," wonwoo murmured.

"she asked me if i had a boyfriend too," you hummed. "i just told her that it wasn't appropriate to ask that in class."

"i said something similar, but i did tell her i didn't have a girlfriend."

you paused. why would he say that? he was very obviously in a relationship, well obvious to the two of you. he even gave you a ring and a nice dinner to cement your relationship. "i obviously couldn't tell that i didn't have a girlfriend because i have a wonderful, smart fiancé," he laughed. you breathed an internal sigh of relief, but you still hit him in the chest. "that's so stupid," you groaned. "you're catching everyone on a technicality." he thought he was so clever and funny, ever the wordsmith.

"it's so hard not telling the students," wonwoo whispered, and you nodded your head in agreement. he didn't know why the two of you didn't tell the students yet, but the relationship started a bit secretively, almost right after the both of you were onboarded. he guessed the two of you never got out of the whole secret relationship. it was a bit exhilarating keeping the secret between you and him, and the admin. he felt like a teenager again. "maybe we should ease them into it, but let's not let them think it was all them," you said.

"maybe it's time for you to start wearing the ring on your finger then," he commented pulling away to get a better look at you. "i can't wait for you to become mrs. jeon," he smiled.

"yuck, so corny," you rolled your eyes with a smile. "you need to stop with these cheesy sayings early in the morning." nevertheless, you leaned forward and kissed him. he kissed back easily, "come on, i know you like the little notes i leave in your lunch."

"i do, now be quiet and just kiss me."

"gladly."

he did have the whole weekend until he had to go back to school. at least you made the day a little better.

min | im just in a silly goofy mood LOL. my poor attempt at humor and portraying what high schoolers are like. wonwoo being an english teacher just makes sense!!! reblogs and comments are always appreciated! not proofread at the moment (it's 1 in the morning)

tagging: @a-wandering-stay

#seventeen #wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #svt #seventeen fluff #wonwoo fluff #jeon wonwoo fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo x reader #seventeen scenarios #svt x reader #wonwoo fic #jeon wonwoo smut #wonwoo scenario #wonwoo imagines #seventeen wonwoo #seventeen reactions

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liaswills · 7 months

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Pick a card: What does this person want to say to you? ❤️

Good evening lovely darlings! I'm back with another Tumblr Tarot post- for the delusional girlies, this is another What would this person want to say to you? Particularly love focused! This could be a message from a S/O- or F/s/o or perhaps even a f/o! Depending on your degree of delulu, ofcourse. :)

Pick a pile! Use the pics underneath or go based on intuition. Thankyou! ❤️

Oh, love of mine. What wonders there are to be found when you look into my eyes. This is all poetic, truly, but in my soul, the deepest parts of it, I know that you'll still be hoping to come back to me. It is the way things are. I can't change it- even if I wanted to. I watch you. I see you. I hope you know I do believe in you- I love you. When I see tears on your cheeks, streaking like some porcelain beauty, some victorian soul, gauging at what is left of me, gauging at what the eye cannot see, I long to hold your hand, softly press a kiss to it and tell you all I have seen in you that you do not see. I would take you to my favourite spot, walk the whole way just to talk to you, I would tell you what I have been wanting to let you know- that no matter where I am, or what you do, or who we are, in our very souls, we are always one and the same. We are alike. Perhaps in spirit, personality, or maybe just in how we devote ourselves to spirituality, or God, but I know that I am yours if you will be mine. But you haven't been coming to me. You don't want to be mine yet. I know you think you do- but you're not ready for this. Neither am I. I have found myself trying to build what was left- to build a new. I have found I wanted to incorporate more of the old into my new life and therefore I am struggling to find my way to you- it will show some day but I will make time free. Free time for you. I promise you this. I fear some day, you may leave me entirely. Yet even when this happens, I'm but a cinder. I'm but a memory. A distant person you once knew. Distant eyes you once reflected upon, talked to, listened to, hoped for, wished and yearned. I'll not be the same because you won't either. We grow with one another. Tell me you love me. I need to know this. I need you to tell it straight to my face, to my memory, to my thought, to my soul, just think it. Think, say, breathe it. I will know when you do. Thank you for thinking of me today, I appreciate it.

You'll always be my true love, you know? ❤️

It's in his kiss, that's where it is. You can feel when I love you truly, baby, because I would kiss you like you've never felt before. I'd go as slow as you want, as sensual as I could ever be, as loving as I could try, I would do it for you. I know we don't know each other that well yet. We are new. But even if you know me for a long time, this feeling is new. We haven't been together before- not in other lives. I haven't loved you yet. This is new to me. I think we would fit together.... I am confused about it however. I'm not really sure what I want. I know, I am indecisive. But with you- it does feel right, it does feel... like I am a child again kissing his first crush. It feels this way- which is why I think it's important that we continue to communicate, about what you want, about what I want... it'll make this easier because I can't smell what is on your mind. I can sense your feelings, I am very empathic, but I don't know what you're thinking. And I have the feeling you're led by your thoughts, just as I am. We are horrible in listening to ourselves. Perhaps, I am better at giving you advice than I am for myself but in truth, it should be me who has to do the work and approach you, romance you, love you, not the other way around. You're so kind to me- this bamboozles the shit out of me because I am not technically seen as an approachable nice person, so your energy it really confuses me for that reason. Am I not repulsive? Do you not... want to run away from me? You're making my bad thoughts about myself resurface and dissolve all the same. When I think or look at you, even for a second, I just know that I am looking at something good. I know this is something to be cherished. Can I trust my own feeling however? I'm not too sure. I want you to know this. Just to make some clarification about where I am right now. I am not trying to push you away- nor do I want you gone AT ALL I need you and I want you by my side but I am just a torn up dunderhead. Forgive me?

"She's one of my favourite things." This is what I say when people ask about you. Hm, yes, I know. From me? You're surprised. I know some days you may think I don't know you, or don't like you, but I do, I like you a lot. You're my princess, in any fairytale that exists. And the divine to my subservient self. I'd worship you. Cherish you. Because, I know, that for you not to leave me, I have to step up and treat you well. I will be forthcoming, I will be consistent, and I will try to make your life as much of a priority as I will mine. It's not black and grey with me. It's quite clear with me. I want you to be mine. I need to marry you- some day or now. I do not care when. That's how serious I am. That's how real this feels for me. I don't need to figure this out by a 10 hour astrology research to compare my charts to yours. I don't need to figure out via a deity about what time you're going to call or text. I need to know just one thing- and that is that I can trust my feelings. I want you to trust yours. If you do- if you do feel for me, If you do cherish me, or even like me, or god above, if you even love me, if you could, that you won't break it hard on me. Do it gently. Tell me how you love me, and when you leave me, so I know it's easier. If you ever leave me, I would try to have you one more day. I really would. Not in spite or because I want some silly disgusting energy break up sex but because...I would just want to look at you, once more, see you, breathe you, just touch your hand perhaps, or even your hair, to just sit there and tell you nothing or a lot. But I wouldn't ever try to hurt you, I will never try to do this I just hope... perhaps... that you won't hurt me, all right? Can you do this for me? Can you do everything gently? (Except the sex, I don't need it to be gentle ok) but you get what I mean. My heart, my feelings, are much more tender than I can confess. I may look tough. I may be someone you think is tough- perhaps I am, maybe I am also that, but one word of you can silence me forever. Trust on that. So use your words well with me, it'll be better for both of us. Don't you think? I love you. ❤️

God speed your love to me. You thought this was going to be the romantic pile, didn't you? Hahahaha! Bitch please! I am your worst nightmare. Just kidding, I am just incapable of showing you the love you so desire and dream of. What is it with you and me? You like me obsessively. Trust me, your guides and I have been chatting away for a bit and you're.... well, let's just say, you're at wits end about me, aren't you darling? Hehe. I like when you're mad. Some days, I just think how lovely it would be if you'd be in my arms and I could just... have a peek at that lovely chest of yours. Too dirty? I understand. You think I'm a pervert. Honestly, darling, I do too. That's what I hide behind, mostly, truthfully, I'm disgusting myself sometimes, especially during those solo hours. You don't want to believe the things I've thought about you- oh my god. If my life's work and thoughts would ever get published, it would be the biggest event of all lifetime. The world would stop. The M25 would be in a traffic jam all fucking year- don't know why, but it would, wouldn't it? Say, I know you from somewhere... that's what I always say, I always begin with that. And then, I would transgress your interest and I would try and lure you into thinking of me. And when you're thinking of me, I am thinking of how you're hopelessly and desperately thinking of me and then I'll- you know, get creative thinking of you. Honey, what am I to you? Though? Like- can we be real? Am I your friend? Your lover? Your nemesis? Your teacher? Your mentor? What the fuck are we? I am so confused ! 🤣 You say things that literally bolder me off the side of the road and throw me right into the cut. Like can we pretend that for one day, you and I aren't you and I and then we can be delusional together in our own little world? You'd like that right? Well, I would too. I need to escape whatever the hell this is, or this life is, and then we can get coffee and a drink or two and you can tell me what we're going to do about this, about us, because I can't stop thinking how we are going to solve this or do this or just... how. Hm :) You look good. Just wanted to say that. Take some medicine when you feel bad, especially cramps. Take good care of yourself. I could write to you forever- know that. You can reach out to me.

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kooktrash · 1 year

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something about him | kim taehyung

summary: kim taehyung is nothing more than a man who works in the same office as you. he’s kind, charming, and unbelievably attractive but there’s just one downside to him. something feels off about the way he acts toward you and you’re not sure what but you know it has something to do with his little obsession with you. he acts strange at times, sometimes a little too lost in his own world, and changes his mood so fast you get whiplash trying to keep up.

you should feel scared or concerned but there’s just something about him that makes you ignore all the warning bells that go off in your head.

➢ genre/au: coworker au, office au, smut, heavy plot

➢ pairing: yandere!taehyung x coworker!reader[she/her. female anatomy]

➢ 16.7k words

warnings: smüt. angst. yandere themes but not scary. tae is highkey obsessed with reader and a little delulu. he’s manipulative and very calculative. doesn’t directly harm others but he sabotages them for y/n. handjöb/oral. cunnilingus. heavy makeout. taehyung can be seen as a dom. intense mood changes. rough missionary. jealous tae. extremely possessive and controlling but he’s good at hiding it. y/n lowkey lovebombs him too (but in the loosest of terms). y/n is a little unstable too but it’s barely noticeable.

song inspo: mascara — deftones [ but I’ll keep you because there’s something about her long shady eyes ]. female robbery — the neighborhood [ I think I can tell them, tell them they were made for me ]. are you mine — arctic monkeys [ in my mind when she’s not right there beside me, I go crazy ].

You know when you can just feel that someone is bad for you and you still won’t do anything about it? Yeah, that’s how you feel about Taehyung.

Maybe you’re being dramatic but also, you know there’s something about Taehyung that makes you feel uneasy at times. It could be the dark gaze in his eyes when a male colleague approaches you, or even the way he always seems to be where you are, watching. You wanted to say you felt unbelievably creeped out by him but you’re not and that’s the problem.

He’s just so gentle and kind when he talks to you. When your eyes meet he almost looks away shyly despite the confidence that radiated off him when he steps into a room. You don’t know what it is about Kim Taehyung but he makes you feel curious yet scared.

“How was your weekend, Y/n?” Taehyung asked in his usual deep and husky voice. It was early in the morning so a little bit of sleep was still laced throughout it.

You arrived at the office at the same time as him today and you’re not sure if it was planned or not. All you knew was that you two were some of the few here this early. You looked at him as you stirred some creamer into your hot coffee, “It was alright, yours?”

“It was great, I went to this new restaurant that just opened up down the street,” Taehyung said calmly, sounding rehearsed. Your eyes narrowed as you said, “Really? I went this weekend too.”

You felt like your suspicions were being answered. You went on some group date this weekend with a good friend of yours and you tried the new restaurant. At one point you could’ve sworn you picked up the scent of Taehyung’s cologne that you’ve grown used to at the office. You figured you were being strangely delusional about a man you work with until you heard his voice. It was the same tone he usually spoke to you in but a tad harsher—like he was forcing himself to be gentle but failing. You remember hearing a woman’s voice next but you let it go.

Now you’re sure he was there too and it was all just some big coincidence.

“Hm, if we had run into each other, we could’ve said hello,” Taehyung said slowly, mixing sugar into his tea trying to stay at your pace so you could leave together.

“So, did you catch up with any friends for dinner?” You asked, trying to see if he would admit to having someone there. You’re not sure why you’re curious but he peaks your interest for reasons you don’t understand. Hell, he creeps you out and yet you indulge him in conversation more often than not.

“No, I was on a date,” Taehyung answered honestly, feeling your eyes turn to him. He was fighting back a smile at your sudden interest. He’s spent months getting you used to seeing him and talking to him at the office that he’s ready to actually get you to go out with him. He’s wanted to take it slow but he realizes he can’t anymore.

When he overheard you and another discussing your plans this weekend he felt himself become uneasy. You told the girl you would be going on a date and that really pissed him off, but he couldn’t say anything. He doesn’t want you to think he doesn’t have trust in you. A relationship starts with trust and he’s willing to show it to you first.

He’ll make you his when you’re ready for the commitment he’s willing to give and ask for too.

Taehyung trusted you this past weekend, he knew you wouldn’t do anything on the first date but every time he thought about the guy you might be seeing, he would just fill with anger. The guy was probably trash, he couldn’t be trusted around you and so Taehyung did what only a sane person would do. He hit up some previous chick he slept with and offered her dinner with the hopes of sex. He brought her along so he could make sure your date was on his best behavior then had his way with the girl before dropping her off in front of her house like she was nothing more to him.

It was really only a thank you for helping him see you tonight without being too obvious. He hopes he’ll never see her again or else she’ll think he’s into her and cry when she finds out she disgusts him. She probably wouldn’t appreciate that he tried imagining you the whole time either.

The problem is that they’re nothing compared to you and although he’s never slept with you he already knows it’ll be perfect. Something in his gut tells him you’re made for him. He knew this the moment he first met you all those months ago in the elevator.

You hadn’t even done anything special to catch his attention, it was a very normal interaction between you two but he was completely infatuated. All you had done was bump into him, dropping your papers all over the floor. He was in a really bad mood that day but the way you cursed shamelessly made him smile in amusement and he ended up helping you clean up. He’s not sure what happened but from then on he had a school boy crush on you and it hasn’t gone away. He just thinks you’re interesting and he’s been waiting for a chance to make a move, the only thing holding him back is the thought of coming off too strong.

If only he could make sure that every other man who wants your attention got it through their heads that you’re his, it would be great.

“How did your date go?” You asked curiously. You’re not sure how to explain it but something about Taehyung really gets to you. He’s never made a move on you — which you’re thankful for — but there’s no denying the fact that he’s strangely intrigued by you. You can tell in the way he talks to you compared to others, or the way he always finds something to intervene with when you’re talking to another man. It’s like he wants you to think about him even when he’s not showing any signs. It’s all confusing and leaves you to overthink every interaction, especially now that he’s admitted to going on a date.

Of course you don’t know that this is all part of a plan that Taehyung has meticulously worked on for months. He doesn’t want to scare you and if he told you you’re all he’s been thinking about for so long, surely you’d be creeped out. He’s only gone on two ‘dates’ in the past five months and both were for a specific reason. The first was at the company Christmas party where he overheard you would be bringing someone along, and the second was this past weekend. If he were to be honest and tell you that he hasn’t been sexually attracted to anyone since he met you, you would run off on him and he doesn’t want that. He has to act like a normal man at his age who goes on casual dates and doesn’t spend all his time finding out every little thing he can about you.

Now you’re curious about who he was with and he picks up on a hint of jealousy in your tone even if you can’t so he definitely thinks you feel something for him too.

“I was distracted,” Taehyung answered honestly, thinking back to when he saw the man you were with that night checking out the waitress when you weren’t looking. It had taken everything in him not to go over there and save you from that guy who couldn’t even stop his eyes wandering elsewhere when you were sitting right in front of him. Didn’t the guy know that there are others willing to do absolutely anything to be there with you?

You didn’t say anything for a long moment, both just silently staring into each other's eyes trying to decipher your minds. Taehyung isn’t actually sure how you feel about him but he knows there has to be some sort of attraction you feel for him or else you wouldn’t be so curious, right? He knows that if he asked you out for drinks right now you’ll probably say yes, but he doesn’t want to rush things.

He doesn’t want just one night of yours, he wants them all, so he has to be patient and see how long this can go before you’re equally as obsessed with him. He doesn’t want to scare you off after all.

Just before you could respond your department head came out of her office, already calling you over to discuss the plan for today. Taehyung waved you off knowing he would find an excuse to look for you later on.

You’ve never struggled much when it came to having a relationship. You’re not really ever looking for anything serious and the guys who do approach you never interest you enough to change your mind. Now, that doesn’t mean you don’t date. You’ll go on a date here and there but only if you’re interested in the guy and more often than not, you’re not interested. You especially hate it when a guy you work with tries to ask you out, just like Minho is doing right now.

Out of everyone in the office he annoys you the most. He’s still in his ‘college frat boy’ mindset that just pisses you off to the point where even looking at him has you bothered. You don’t know how you could possibly look more uninterested than you already do but this guy just doesn’t get that you don’t like talking to him. He’s had you cornered in the copy room for the past five minutes telling you all about the tickets he got to a musical theater that he doesn’t need anymore.

You’re sure this is his way of trying to invite you—well no, trying to get you to invite him. He’s giving you both because apparently he doesn’t need them anymore and doesn’t know what to do with them. You looked at him unamused as he put them down on your open hand and you forced yourself to smile, “Are you sure you don’t want them?”

“I’m sure,” Minho said with a little smirk as he looked around the room. Just as you did too, a familiar face walked in and you were far from surprised to see who it might be. Before you could offer a hello, Minho drew your attention back to him, “Plus, you might have better luck finding someone to go with you. You’re all I can ever think about, at least.”

Taehyung didn’t glance your way but his eyes focused in on Minho where it looked like he was holding your hand still and that made the guy smirk even more. Minho looked back down at you, as Taehyung came over to use the printer, making you both move to the side.

“So do you want to go tog—?” Minho asked as Taehyung slammed the paper tray in the slot loudly making you both look at him.

Minho rolled his eyes as he turned back to you to try again, “I was just thinking that you mig—“

His words were cut off by the excessive beeping of the printer as Taehyung typed in the settings he wanted. He looked over with a feigned innocent smile clearly amused with himself as he said, “Sorry, am I interrupting?”

You looked at Taehyung making his eyes meet yours and for a moment you could see mischief in them. You both knew what Minho was about to say but he beat you to it and interrupted you. You smiled as if understanding the way he was trying to understand you.

You turned to Minho,“Thanks for the tickets but I should get back to work before anyone starts looking for me. I’ll send you money for them, alright?”

“Wait Y/n—“ you left before he could finish and suddenly it was just Minho and Taehyung inside the copy room.

Taehyung couldn’t help but smile openly now as you made your exit despite knowing Minho was trying to ask you out. It had him giddy as he went to leave the room too before Minho called for him.

“I know what you’re trying to do, Taehyung,” Minho said as he walked toward him but Taehyung didn’t give a clue to what he was thinking, didn’t even bother responding to him.

“Everyone here knows you’ve got this little crush on Y/n,” Minho pointed out, “You’re so obvious with it and she doesn’t even give you the time of day so just quit cutting in and mind your business.”

Taehyung laughed dryly, “I was doing you a favor Minho, Y/n was going to reject you and then everyone in the office would know about it. Why don’t you focus more on doing your job than women out of your league?”

He made a move to leave but he turned back toward the room one last time and said, “And trust me, if I put effort into it, I wouldn’t be rejected.”

He left feeling annoyed at Minho’s audacity. Y/n would never go for a guy like him, he’s pathetic. He thinks he’s hot shit because he was popular growing up but this is the real adult world and in the adult world nobody cares about how many sports trophies he has locked in a shelf. You for sure wouldn’t care and yet Taehyung still felt himself annoyed at what he saw in the copy room.

What would have happened if he never showed up to save you? Would you have said yes to a date with him out of pity? You would be too nice to turn someone down, right?

He kept thinking about that all day, anxiously biting his nails and leg bouncing as he worked.

Would you have said yes to Minho?

Is he miscalculating? Is he assuming Minho wouldn’t be your type because he’s not him?

Is he that confident that you’ll come to him first?

Does he need to step it up?

“Taehyung?”

You stood in front of his cubicle, leaning against one side of the short wall looking down at him with soft eyes. He looked up from his computer where he had been stuck in a daze thinking about you and nearly stumbled over his single word, “Yes?”

You stepped into his space and leaned against one end of his desk making it seem like you two were the only ones around. He had to force his eyes not to trail over your exposed legs as he waited for you to say something.

It took you a second to speak up while you tried to figure out how to bring up earlier without letting him know that you think he’s got a thing for you. You smiled, “I know it probably wasn’t your intention but you really saved me earlier. I think Minho was trying to ask me out and I didn’t want to have to tell him no at the office.”

Taehyung felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders as you said that and he couldn’t help but smile too, “I thought that was the case, are you alright?”

“Me? Yeah, I mean he gave me these tickets so I feel bad not wanting to go with him but then I’d be lying to myself about wanting him there, y’know?” You asked and his leg bounced anxiously under his desk as you moved just a little closer.

“If I were to want to go with any man from work, I think I would prefer it to be you,” you finally said and his knee hit the underside of his desk as he nodded his head already agreeing before you could properly ask. This was exactly the way you imagined things to go. You knew that if you showed a little interest in him it wouldn’t take long for him to agree with whatever you propose. You spoke up again with a dragged out sigh, “But I’m sure you’ve got a lot on your plate and you just went on a date this last weekend so I bet you don—“

“Tell me the time and place, and I’ll be there,” he rushed out, making you smile.

“Alright, why don’t you write your number down and I’ll call you?”

Listen, you know you said there’s something off about Taehyung… and it’s not that you’ve just brushed it off as paranoia, but you really had no reason to be put off by him. He was an extremely attractive man who seemed to always be where you were and who would annoy Minho more for going on a date with you?

Taehyung would. You absolutely despised Minho and he hated Taehyung so it really worked out for you. Plus, if you want to know if he’s actually interested in you or not, asking him out was the way to go. You didn’t want to ask a friend to come with you and you for sure weren’t going to ask a guy who would just want sex so you chose Taehyung, and you’re happy you did.

Watching him meet you at the front of the theater looking like that, well it just made your night. Everyone’s eyes shifted toward him when he passed but his eyes were only on you. It was surprisingly boast worthy to know everyone can see he’s coming to you. You’re not sure how it will go but you’re bored and you want to see what would happen if you indulged in a man who seems mysterious to you and clearly attractive.

You’re not worried if the date goes bad, you’re not scared to completely ignore him at work if you needed to either. You just wanted to see if the night would be fun or not, of course you’re not aware that this has been all Taehyung has thought about since you asked him on Tuesday. If he has you now he’s not letting you go, especially not to ignore him.

“You look great,” Taehyung said softly as he placed a hand on your lower back giving you a side hug in greeting. He kept his hand at your waist as you leaned into him, “Sorry I’m late, have you been waiting long?”

Yes. “No,” he smiled, letting his hand linger on the silky fabric of your dress that hugged your pretty waist, “Shall we head in?”

Things were working in Taehyung’s favor and he didn’t even have to do much for this to happen. Sure, he’s spent months being the only man to not hit on you at the office so you could feel comfortable with him instead of another. And yes, he’s been finding every excuse possible to be around you so that you could think about him… and okay, he’s even followed you out of work before—but you asking him out was all you! He didn’t even have to say anything about your tickets, you chose him and he doesn’t care if it was for the right reasons or not.

“Is this weird for you?” You asked once you passed the ticket booth, “I know we work together and it was sudden so…”

“Not at all,” Taehyung said, taking you by surprise when he brushed a finger against your cheek to move a strand of hair behind your ear, “I’ve always said that I’d like to see you outside of work. If anything, I’m happy you asked me.”

“You make me feel the safest at work,” you said honestly as you took his hand in yours so that he wasn’t touching your face. You’re actually surprised by how touchy he’s being but you don’t know if you’re okay with it or not. You held his hand as you said, “And I don’t have many friends outside so I figured this is a perfect opportunity to get close to someone else.”

Taehyung laced his fingers with yours as he led you to the main theater, moving you to his side when a stranger passed, “I’d love to get close to you, if you let me.”

Taehyung was the perfect gentleman. He was respectful and sweet and just so gentle when he talked. Well, when he talked to you.

The musical was great honestly, you and him had light talk here and there and at one point his hand would brush over yours but you liked it. After the show you had both agreed on having Korean barbecue but you weren’t in the mood to wait in line at some fancy restaurant so you settled for one of those tent restaurants.

“Did you enjoy the show?” You asked him as you flipped your hair off your shoulders while thanking him for serving you more water.

“I’ll be honest, I wasn’t paying that much attention to it,” he smiled childishly as looked at you, “Very hard to concentrate on anything else when you’re around.”

“Really?” You asked amused and flattered, “You seem to do fine at work.”

“Things aren’t always what they seem,” he said casually as he looked over at a server who was making his way over to switch out your grilling trays. He didn’t hide the way his gaze traveled from your pretty head down to your legs then back up to your face, a stupid smirk on his lips.

Taehyung hates that you’re not just attractive to him, but to anyone who sees you. That’s why he needs to hurry up and make you his already. If it was up to him he would never let you out of his sight for this reason specifically.

“Tae?” You called for him after noticing the way he began to zone out and like it was nothing, his eyes met yours with a smile. You smiled too, “I can’t get over how handsome you are.”

He laughed softly as a blush crept into his cheeks, “I’m not used to you saying these things to him, but I like it. . I’ve been thinking about how beautiful you looked all nigh—“

“Are you going to be wanting any dessert, miss?” The guy asked suddenly as he looked only at you, “On the house, for you that is.”

“Oh?” You asked with a hint of amusement, “Why’s that?”

“Uh, well, you’re the prettiest girl to come in tonight,” the guy said nervously all of a sudden, very aware that the guy in front of you might not be a friend like he first thought.

You smiled but it didn’t reach your eyes as you said, “I’m not sure my boyfriend appreciates you saying that in front of him. Do you, Taehyung?”

It took everything in him to keep his composure as he looked at that guy with something dark in his gaze. He couldn’t even fully process that you called him your boyfriend. All he could think about right now is what would happen if he grabbed the guy by the back of his neck and bashed his head into the burning grill over and over and over—

“I don’t appreciate it all,” he said calmly, “Why don’t you let someone else help our table next time?”

You looked at Taehyung, impressed by the way he spoke so calmly yet you can see something in his eyes that wasn’t there when he looked at you. It excited you.

Once the server left, muttering something under his breath that had Taehyung staring after him like he was ready to confront him again, you had to say something.

“Sorry for calling you my boyfriend. I just figured that’s how the guy would stop,” you told him feeling a little embarrassed now that it was just you two. You can talk to someone bluntly but you don’t feel bold right now. Right now you’re a little nervous because you called him that not knowing how he would react.

Taehyung was flooding with warmth as he brought his glass of water to his lips, trying to hide his loving smile, “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t mind.”

He could be your boyfriend, he’s always known that but to hear you call him that in front of someone? Now that just makes him proud, the only thing that sucks is that he can’t fully appreciate your words.

You deserve all his attention but he’s so focused on the server not far behind him talking with another that he doesn’t know how to fill the silence that suddenly surrounded you two.

‘Aren’t you off soon?’

‘Yeah, in about thirty, what about you?’

‘I’ve got an hour to go. Do you wanna cruise around later?’

‘Yeah, I just got a new set of tires and rims that I need to show off.’

“I’ll be back, I’m going to wash my hands,” you said suddenly and Taehyung nodded telling you he’ll keep your purse safe. Ugh, he needs to pay attention to you and you alone but he just can’t stop thinking about what happened. It makes him think about how long you’ll be gone and how he’ll handle himself till then. You left to the restroom but because this was a tent restaurant you had to go inside another building for that. Taehyung acted before he could think and reached for the grilling fork that sat on the table, easily sliding it into the sleeve of his coat while coming up with something.

His mind was whirring with possibilities of how this could go while also counting how long it takes you to come back, acting like nothing was wrong. He continued to grill food till you returned and he smiled, “My turn.”

You let him go off to the restroom as you sat alone picking up your phone to see your texts. There were a few from your friends asking about how it’s going or sending you something stupid.

You’re actually very surprised that this… date[?] is going so well. It does feel a little stiff like you’re both still being friendly coworkers but you think it’s because Taehyung is holding himself back. You’ve gotten a couple blushes and smiles but he’s still very distant. He’s giving you compliments and he’s listening to everything you have to say but he’s not really talking about himself.

It’s like you still couldn’t tell what kind of guy he is.

Taehyung was moving quickly. The employee parking lot was small and dimly lit so it was hard to see anyone at first but he just kept repeating the same thing over and over again.

New tires. New rims.

New tires. New ri—

He came to a halt as he looked at the black Nissan Altima with brand new shiny rims and tires. He didn’t even hesitate for a single moment in case the car belonged to anyone other than the server who tried hitting on you. The grilling fork slipped out of his sleeve swiftly and before he knew it, all four tires had matching puncture marks.

Still feeling a little upset he dragged the sharp end of the fork along one side of the rim, scratching it repeatedly and mumbling words of hatred.

Once Taehyung decided it was enough he stood straight, looked around and combed his hair back into place, taking a deep breath.

“That was quick,” you said as he sat down in front of you again. He smiled, “Was it?”

“Are you ready to go?” He asked as a different server brought the bill. You nodded your head reaching for your bag to get your wallet when Taehyung spoke up again, “I’ll pay.”

“No, we can split,” you offered, still trying to take your money out.

“Y/n,” his voice was calm as he made you look at him and with hazy eyes he said, “I would like to pay. Will you let me pay?”

You opened your mouth to argue but Taehyung slid the check back to the server who had returned just in time. You released a small sigh standing up as Taehyung helped you slip your coat back on your shoulders, “Next time I’ll pay.”

He couldn’t contain his smile as he said, “We’ll talk about it then, alright?”

You’re not sure if it was the alcohol or the tenderness of his voice but you shined childishly, “Taehyung, I’ll feel bad.”

“Don’t,” he said, leading you out and thanking the servers as if he didn’t destroy their tires or toss the fork in the back dumpster. Nobody should go looking for them anyway. By the time the guy notices his tires are flat he’ll already be gone, Taehyung would like it if they completely give out on the road and cause him to crash but that’s just wishful thinking. He’s just a little too happy right now.

His night was great, he felt like he couldn’t stop his heart from racing the entire time. He loved your dress, your hair, the soft perfume you wore, the way you kept eye contact with him, laughed at his words… he could go on. He’ll remember this night for the rest of your lives together. He wasn’t going to let that little hiccup ruin it for him.

It’s just that Taehyung couldn’t just sit around and let a man try and hit on you while he’s right there. It only makes his mind stray to what already happens when he’s not around and he sees red. The guy is lucky that he didn’t have time to do much else than slash his tires. He wanted to be quick so he could return to you.

Now he’s standing in front of your place debating on what to do. You were standing in front of him looking so pretty waiting like you were expecting a kiss.

“Well, the night was fun,” you said shyly. You can’t tell what it is about his gaze that intimidates you but you know that it makes you curious also. You want to know what’s behind this distant exterior because he doesn’t appear all that he seems. You wanted to kiss him but this time you really do think it’s the alcohol. Usually you’ll remind yourself that you don’t seriously date coworkers and that this should be ended cordially.

Taehyung took a hesitant step forward, closing the gap between you, his eyes kept flickering to your lips, “Is it weird that I don’t want to go home yet?”

You were standing close now and you had to look up to meet his gaze only it brought your faces closer together, and this time it was him who made the first move. A gentle hand touched the curve of your jaw tilting your face up to look at him, he whispered softly, “Can I kiss you?”

You gave him a brief nod of your head and met his efforts halfway, feeling your lips brush against each other’s before he pressed them together firmly. The hand on your face grew more firm as if you would pull away any second but you were enjoying it too much.

As your hand curled around the back of his neck keeping him from moving back, Taehyung released a low groan into your mouth taking the opportunity to bring a hand down to your lower back wishing that you wore something other than a dress. He can’t feel your skin on his fingertips, only the silky fabric that got in his way. Your tongues met in a languid movement as his standing frame almost curved over yours, using rough hands to keep you against him while deepening the kiss.

“Taehyung,” your words came out breathless as you pulled away just a little, feeling him chase after your lips to keep the kiss going. You kissed back eagerly forgetting all about how you couldn’t breathe and there was a growing itch bubbling up inside your center that needed more. You tilted your head back as Taehyung kissed down the corner of your mouth toward your jaw, licking along your neck to your collarbone making your lips part in a silent moan. You brushed your fingers through his hair, licking your lips as you said, “Let’s go inside.”

As much as you loved how hungry he seemed to be for your kisses, it was very hard to ignore the fact that you’re still outside. He’s very intimate with the way he is holding you right now and you rather have him go inside with you than stay out here. The second those words left your lips, Taehyung was pulling back shaking his head no, hands squeezing your sides, “No.”

“No?” You asked in confusion as he repeated it over and over again quietly yet clinging to you too. You moved your hands down to his shoulders for more support, “What? You don’t want to?”

“I do,” he whispered, “But not tonight?”

You took a huge step back feeling annoyed as you scoffed, “What are you ta—“

“It has to be perfect,” he said more to himself than to you, “It needs to be perfect.” It was sort of alarming how he suddenly shifted to this from how he was just seconds ago and it’s like you can’t even get through to him. He’s in his own mind and you don’t know what to do.

You reached down for his hand but he was pulling away fully, repeating himself, “Not tonight, Y/n. It’s going to be perfect, okay?”

Your brows scrunched together trying to understand what he was talking about. He took a quick step down the entrance before rushing back to you and kissing you one last time, “Can I call you?”

“Yes, bu—“ he cut you off with another kiss and you knew he didn’t want this to end either so why was he leaving? You couldn’t pull him back in time as he drew back, repeating over and over about how it needed to be perfect before leaving you for the night.

“Wait, so he kissed you Goodnight and then left? I don’t see the problem,” your friend Jimin said through the phone as you used your badge to let yourself through the entrance of the publishing company you worked for. It’s the first time you’ve been able to talk to him in days so you answered when he called even if it was before work. You just had to fill him in on how the last few days have been.

You released a sigh trying to figure out how to word your thoughts, “Ugh the problem isn’t that he just left, it’s that… I don’t know, he started talking to himself about how it needed to be perfect.”

“What?” Jimin asked with furrowed brows as he got into his car on his end of the phone, “Sex?”

“I don’t know, maybe?” You told him honestly. He’s been a very close friend of yours for a few years now and you’re very comfortable talking to him about whatever is going on in your life.

“And this is the first date?” He asked, still trying to understand what you were telling him.

You bit your lip nervously trying to figure out what happened on Saturday, “I guess, I mean, I don’t know if it counts because it was so last minute and I’m the one who asked him out of the blue but…”

“But he’s the guy you’ve been telling me about, right? The one who creeps you out a little?” Jimin asked bluntly that you felt a little embarrassed. It’s very hard to explain what you think about Taehyung. He’s attractive and a good guy but there’s just something in the back of your mind that makes you think there’s something off about him.

“Yes, but look, he doesn’t creep me out like I’m scared of him or anything… he’s just intense,” you told him with a shrug of your shoulders that he couldn’t see.

Jimin laughed, “Okay so what now? Are you just not going to see where it goes with him? How’d the weekend go?”

“Well good, we talked a lot and he was really sweet but I don’t know… I mean we work together,” you whispered the last part as you made your way toward the elevator.

“That didn’t stop you from inviting him out and you did want to sleep with him, right?” Jimin asked making you sigh once more as you reached for the button to call for the elevator.

It dinged just as Jimin started talking again, “Yeah but, I was a little drunk, I mean that doesn’t change that I was ready to sleep with him but after thinking it over I really don’t want to be one of those people who fucks around with someone they work with and ruins the environment, y’know?”

Jimin was in his car now trying to connect to his Bluetooth, “So what are you going to do? Tell him that you’re better off as friends?”

You stepped into the elevator, “Yeah, I think I should—“

“Y/n?”

“Taehyung,” your eyes opened in surprise as you watched him step into the elevator with you. He seemed so calm and neutral as he smiled at you warmly.

“Jimin, I’ve gotta go, talk to you later?” You said through the phone and hung up on your friend. Taehyung’s eyes shifted down to it as it lay limply in your hand already letting his mind conjure up who this Jimin person is. He’s spent a fair share of time stalking your socials to know which friends are who and if it’s who he thinks it is, then it’s a man and he doesn’t like the idea that you spoke to another man first thing in the morning instead of him.

Once the elevator shut you two into its privacy, Taehyung didn’t hesitate to press you into the wall with a mouth watering kiss. You immediately clung to him, hands wrapping in his hair keeping him close as he invaded your mouth with his. His hands were so gentle on your skin as he whispered, “I missed you so much.”

You went to the theater together on Saturday so really the only day you didn’t see him was yesterday and even then you talked a lot throughout the day so for him to suddenly say how much he missed you… it’s definitely setting off warning bells.

You you ignored them, smiling into the kiss as you cupped his jaw trying to move him back as you absentmindedly said, “Missed you too.”

“Did you?” He asked seriously now as if the answer would be on your face but in reality you just said it because he did. You continue to say things that will make him think more and more about how you feel and it’s all very confusing. You looked at him searching his face for answers before nodding your head, “Yeah?”

Honestly, you were a little mad at yourself. You know there’s something about Taehyung that you don’t get and you should be a little worried by his behavior. The problem is that you keep saying you’ll stop enabling him by continuing to lead him on while telling your friend you don’t want him. It hasn’t stopped you from talking to him on the phone or kissing him and you just know you should put a stop to it.

“Good,” he whispered before kissing you again and you’re completely ignoring your brain to kiss him. Anxiety grew inside you at the thought of getting caught and just before the elevator came to a stop once more, you lightly pushed him away hurriedly.

Taehyung stood at the opposite end of the elevator biting back a smirk as a group of people flooded the elevator greeting you both. You distracted yourself with your phone in hopes of not drawing attention to the way Taehyung kept his gaze on you and you alone.

jimin: come over later

jimin: i wanna hear about it

jimin: ooo and drink

jimin: movie too?

You barely had a second to react as a tall frame crowded behind you and you jumped to the side slightly startled. Taehyung stood behind you looking at you curiously, “Who’s Jimin?”

“Um,” the elevator dinged on your floor and you stepped out with him on your side, “He’s a good friend of mine, he came with me to the Christmas party, you might remember him?”

Oh. The guy from the Christmas party.

He didn’t say anything, looking at you deeply as he tried to smile and nodded his head. He turned forward and pretended like he wasn’t going absolutely fucking insane thinking about those texts he just read. Why would another guy want you to come over so late? Didn’t you tell him that you’re seeing someone? Hell, you kissed him just as eagerly a few minutes ago so why the fuck is another guy…

“Shit, I have a meeting I have to start getting ready for,” you cursed as you checked the time on your phone, already picking up your pace.

“Lunch later?” He asked, watching you leave. You nodded your head waving goodbye to him quickly as if trying to brush him to the side and he didn’t like that at all.

He’s starting to feel like you’re blowing him off. All day yesterday you were ‘busy’ with work but then he would see you around the office talking happily to everyone but him. He couldn’t understand why. Was it because of the other night? He thought it had gone perfectly. Being with you genuinely makes him happy and on Saturday who couldn’t stop smiling. He knows there’s so much that he still needs to learn about you but he didn’t expect you to be such a flirt with other men.

Today it’s Minho again.

He hogged all your attention at the meeting today and you just let him. You sat there and politely talked to him like Taehyung wasn’t in the same damn room. It pissed him off to think that you weren’t as committed as he was. Would you let any man take your attention away from him and if so what should Taehyung do about it?

Once the meeting came to an end, Taehyung rushed out so he wouldn’t have to see another second of you two together. He needed time to cool off first before he acted negatively toward you. He just doesn’t get you. What’s the point in asking him out if you were just going to ignore him?

Does he do the same? Should he treat you the way you’ve been treating him just so you could see how he’s feeling? He doesn’t want to hurt you but you’re hurting him and you don’t even care.

You’ll never learn unless you go through what he’s going through right now and that’s the only reason why he agreed on getting lunch with a colleague of his. Sora was just a girl on his team who he believes has a thing for him. She’s always finding an excuse to stop by his desk whether it be to ask something stupid or just see how his day is going. This morning she asked for his help to fix something on her web design and in turn she said she would pay him back by getting him lunch.

Now, Taehyung’s original plan was to find you so the two of you could get lunch together but considering the fact that you’ve been cozy with Minho he doesn’t want to see you right now. He won’t respond to you right if he does, and maybe if you see him with Sora you’ll open your damn eyes and see how you’re acting.

The thing is, he can’t pretend to be interested in whatever Sora was saying to him. He’s barely bothering with responses and even then they’re mostly just ‘ah’s ‘oh’s and ‘mm’s. Nothing she says interests him like you. You’ve just got this way of speaking that captivates him every single time and with Sora it’s just not the same.

If he pretends you were her then he can put more effort into it but she’s not you and you’re not with him.

“Thanks for buying lunch, I’ll have to pay you back some time,” Taehyung said with a forced smile as they headed back to the elevator from the main floor. He’s been trying to feed Sora comments here and there so she would at least think he’s fond of her. The problem is that they’re all empty words that he doesn’t plan on holding up.

“Well maybe tomorrow you can buy me lunch and we’ll call it even,” Sora said with a blushing smile that made Taehyung want to throw up. He forced himself to smile and nodded his head, “I’ll have to see my schedule.”

Just as the doors were about to shut a manicured hand stuck forward to stop it and he felt his heart race. He immediately pushed for the doors to open back up and you thanked him before noticing it was even Taehyung. He smiled sweetly, “Hi.”

“Hi,” you said back as you looked between him and Sora who had matching boxes for leftovers from a restaurant. Sora smiled too, “Hey Y/n, did you just get back from lunch?”

“No, I actually had a meeting that went over time so I haven’t eaten yet,” you told her as you tucked yourself into the back corner, “What about you?”

“Oh! Yeah, Taehyung and I just tried this café a couple blocks down. I recommend trying it, it’s really good,” Sora said and Taehyung would have hugged her with the way your eyes narrowed in confusion. He studied your expression as you looked over at him but he kept his gaze on the changing floor numbers.

He wants to kiss you and hold you and tell you that it meant absolutely nothing to him but he was still upset. He couldn’t just let you think that talking to other guys who were clearly interested in you was okay. It’s just… you haven’t eaten and he wants to be mad but he wants to make sure you’re doing alright because he knows how busy you are and now he’s thinking he’s made a mistake in trying to upset you.

No.

Taehyung, you need to put your foot down. Y/n is a big girl, and you can’t let her walk all over you and everything you’ve done—everything you’ll do.

“Really? Did you like it too, Taehyung?” You asked putting a territorial hand on his bicep that had him leaning into your touch more. He looked into your eyes and he couldn’t quite read your expression yet, “It was alright.”

You weren’t jealous, alright. You don’t tend to be jealous because then that means you envy someone else and there’s no one worth envying but… but you do get possessive. Very, extremely possessive that you work very hard to hide that but he’s confusing you a little. You went out this past weekend and he kisses you like you’re all he wants, he follows you around the office and calls you all the time only for him to have lunch with another woman?

It’s no secret that Taehyung is handsome, everyone in the office thinks so and they all are very obvious with their interest in him yet he’s expressed to you that he wants you. Sure, it creeps you out just a tad bit how serious he is about it but why would he go get lunch with someone else while you’ve been stuck in meetings all morning? Now that just pisses you off.

Before he could give you an answer, the elevator dinged and the doors were opening. Sora made a move to leave and looked back at him expectantly but his eyes were on you. You wouldn’t even look at him and your expression was clear as day and it showed how unhappy you were right now. When it was obvious that neither of you were getting off yet she left with a mumbled goodbye and the doors closed.

Taehyung pushed down on a button and as you looked at it you noticed it was for the lobby, “What are you doing?”

“You haven’t eaten so let’s go to the cafeteria and get you food,” he said coming over to you. He was content now, all he needed was to see that you’ll get upset too if he talks with another woman and then you’ll see that he has a right to get upset with you.

Once he gets it through your head then he’ll be able to focus on Minho and how to show him that you’re Taehyung’s.

“I can go alone, you just had lunch with Sora,” you told him, moving away from him and he did not like that at all.

“I’m worried about you,” he said honestly as he tried to close the space but you still wouldn’t even look at him. Why were you so damn annoyed that a man you just started getting close to had lunch with someone else?

“So what made you want to have lunch with Sora?” You asked, completely ignoring what he said because for some reason you were very bothered.

Isn’t he supposed to be, like, obsessed with you or something?

Taehyung scoffed as he smiled, “Is that really bothering you right now?”

You didn’t say anything making him continue, “I wanted to have lunch with you but you seemed busy all day talking to Minho and I didn’t want to wait around for you to pay attention to me.”

“What? Minho? I was in meetings and he was in them too, I had no contr—“

“I don’t like you talking to him,” Taehyung spoke firmly that you were caught off guard, and this time he wasn’t going to wait for you to look at him. He had this dark look in his eyes that had you taking a hesitant step back but it was no use because he just followed, “It really upsets me, Y/n. Do you really want to upset me?”

“Taehyung…”

The doors opened once more as the elevator got flooded with people you and Taehyung left.

“We work together, I can’t just ignore him,” you finally said calmly despite everything inside you telling you that the way he sounded right now was unreasonable. You didn’t even like Minho.

He joined you in the cafeteria where they served meals cooked by chefs, “I know that but you know that he has a thing for you so it makes me uncomfortable.”

You stopped turning to look at him, “Taehyung… nothing is ever going to happen between him and I. I don’t date coworkers.”

You both were very aware of what you just said and what it could possibly mean with Taehyung. It’s true, it’s what you’ve wanted to say since he creeped you out the first night you kissed. It’s what you should have said first, or better yet, ignored Taehyung’s obsessive behavior in the first place.

At the same time though, you know you aren’t being fully honest. If Taehyung were to ask… well, you could see yourself with him again. He worried you but the way he’s so obviously interested in you and only doing things to get a side out of you, you kind of like that. It makes you realize that he’s constantly thinking about you in some way so you really only said it to see how he’ll react.

God, you can’t even believe yourself.

“What does that mean?” Taehyung asked, trying so hard to seem calm but you can practically hear his façade cracking that it made you want to keep pushing.

You weren’t even worried about how you two looked to others and you moved closer to say to him, “I’m just thinking that maybe it’s not a good idea to get involved with someone I work with. It’ll cause problems.”

Taehyung wasn’t even thinking about Minho anymore, he was trying to understand and think quickly on what to do.

“If you want me to quit so we can be together…” he said staring at the floor deep in thought, he’s already trying to think of a plan, “I can, I just worry that you’ll leave me if someone new comes in.”

“What? Taehy—I—why would I want you to quit?” You rushed out as you tried to walk again so the two of you weren’t just standing in the middle and wasting time.

Taehyung was following you a couple steps behind.

He can work it out. He just has to get rid of Minho before he does what you want. If you want him to quit he can easily apply somewhere else… but only after he figures out what to do about Minho.

“It’s what you’re saying, Y/n. You don’t date coworkers,” Taehyung said seriously, you had to stop and try to understand what the hell was going on now. Out of habit, you looked down at your watch—you were wasting time talking about this.

You looked around cautiously before moving closer. He looked down at you with a dead set look in his eyes. You released a soft sigh, “I’ve got to go. Can we talk about this later?”

Taehyung already felt annoyed but now you’re trying to brush him off when he’s trying to have a serious conversation with you about the future of your relationship and that really pissed him off. Before he could say anything, you quickly and gently asked, “Can I call you later?”

You had a soft look in your eyes that immediately made his walls crumble and it had him asking, “Will you, actually?”

You nodded and he smiled, resisting the strong urge to give you a goodbye kiss.

When you turned your back to him and left, his smile fell. You’ll be busy and try and get back to him later so he has to think right now.

How does he fix his Minho problem?

By the time Taehyung was ready to head home, it was late. He got busy with work because he had been too focused on you to be productive and he had a lot to do before he could leave.

It sort of worked out though—and for two reasons.

Reason one, it gave him something to talk about when you called, even if he lies just a little.

“At least you’re home now, right?” You asked through your side of the phone as you tried to think of what to make yourself for dinner.

Taehyung bit his lip as he looked at reason number two.

Right there in the break room was a shiny laptop that looked very familiar to him. He honestly couldn’t believe his luck either but he also knew what a fucking idiot Minho was.

Leave it to him to leave his laptop open and unlocked. It was just too easy.

“Yes, I’m trying to think about what to make for dinner,” Taehyung said as he checked the room for anything but there wasn’t a camera in here for privacy reasons, “Any ideas?”

You smacked your lips with a dramatic sigh, “Sadly no. I’m not that good of a cook to give you ideas.”

That made him smile because he’s not surprised nor bothered by it. He’ll happily do everything for you if you let him and he can start with cooking.

Taehyung sat in front of the laptop trying to read what was pulled up on a tab. It looked like a power point of some sort and the date for it was tomorrow. His fingers began to work before he could even think about it.

“How about you come over this weekend and I’ll make us something nice?” Taehyung asked casually as he put his little scheme in motion. If this doesn’t get rid of Minho he doesn’t know what will.

You took a deep breath, “Taehyung what I said earl—…”

“I get it, Y/n, but you can’t tell me you don’t feel anything for me,” Taehyung said, his face lighting up with the laptop screen that reflected off his irises, “Let’s just… you know take it slowly and see where it goes.”

“This weekend?” You bit your lip in thought and he smiled as he finished up and tried to wipe away any evidence that he touched it. He doesn’t want to be found out after all.

“Yeah,” He said as he saved his work and closed the laptop, “I’ll give you time to think about it, you don’t have to give me an answer right now, alright?”

“Alright,” you finally said and Taehyung did feel a little annoyed. Why was this a hard decision for you?

Look at what he’s doing just so you aren’t uncomfortable at work anymore.

Look at who he’s getting rid of for you.

He brought the laptop back to Minho’s desk and put it away, knowing Minho he wouldn’t have any clue where he left it last and this would look the most inconspicuous.

“So…” Taehyung trailed off as he left like it was nothing, “I know you were telling me about the project you’re working on but I want to know something not work related.”

“Oh God, what do you want to know?” You asked as you finished up what you were doing in your kitchen.

“Everything about you,” Taehyung said, finally going home feeling very accomplished.

You didn’t usually get to have late mornings so when you did, you really treasured them. You always feel so much more refreshed than when you get to work early in the morning, still half asleep. Usually your late morning days went by so fast but today was strange since the get go.

For one, there was a single cop car outside your building today that was parked out front like it was the most normal thing ever.

Second, there were groups of people huddling and gossiping on your floor that you knew something was up.

You walked over to your closest acquaintance, Yuna, “What’s going on?”

Yuna’s eyes shifted behind you instead of to you and it didn’t take much for you to know Taehyung has found you already. Yuna looked away blushing [this was the first time he’s ever been so close], “Um… someone was in a meeting and there was something on his laptop.”

Your brows furrowed as you looked around, “And there’s a cop here because of it?”

“It’s bad,” Yuna whispered, wincing as if she can picture what was found on the laptop. You looked at Taehyung who stared off looking indifferent but you can practically see his little smile.

You pushed your suspicions to the side as you tried to get a better look but you didn’t need to put much effort into it. Minho came out of your boss’s office with a cop at his side and a box of all his office belongings. Whispers surrounded him and his eyes met yours.

You took a step forward to see if what was happening was real when a strong hand tugged at the back of your arm keeping you in place. You glared at Taehyung who continued to act completely unbothered by what was going on.

The boss sent everyone one look to have them all scrambling to get to work but you paid your attention to Taehyung only.

“Did you do this?”

“Do what?” Taehyung asked as he walked with you, “Also how’s your morning going? You just got here, right? Lucky you.”

“Taehyung if you’re not honest with me right now then I’m calling it off right here, right now,” you said seriously as he dragged you into the break room where no one was.

His jaw clenched, “What are you trying to accuse me of right now?”

“Minho.”

“What about him?” Taehyung asked, “And why are you willing to throw us away over it? When do you I would’ve even had time to do anything? You and I talked on the phone all evening.”

He can’t believe you’ll even say that to him when he’s gotten rid of your problem for you in the nicest way he could. Sure, he had to dig up some dirty stuff to get Minho out but he left [and with a police escort]! Shouldn’t you be thrilled?

You scoffed, not buying what he was saying at all. You just had this feeling in your gut that he did something, “Did you have anything to do with what happened with Minho right now. And be honest or I swear I won’t talk to you again.”

Taehyung didn’t say anything for a long moment trying to read your bluff. He wanted to keep denying it but what if you meant what you said? What if you’ll really ignore him from now on?

With a cold expression that sent shivers down your spine he honestly said, “I told you I didn’t like you talking to him.”

You gasped in confusion, “What do—How—So what? You’re getting him fired because of it?”

“I would never,” Taehyung went back to lying, “I just found some stuff in his search history that needed to be seen. I didn’t know he’d get fired over it.”

You were completely speechless and confused. God, you need to get away from this man.

But.

But…you just can’t bring yourself to speak up and you wish it was because you were scared to but it wasn’t. You just didn’t want to, so instead you just shook your head, “For me?”

“Yes,” he said quietly, making sure no one was around, “He bothered us both, Y/n. Now you don’t have to worry about him.”

You didn’t say anything making him sigh, “Don’t be mad, please?”

You should get away.

You shouldn’t be thinking about how strangely endearing and caring he was for you. This is sick… but…

“I’m not,” you said, “I’m just… I don’t know.”

Taehyung laughed softly using your confusion and did you actually Ed mind to get you to move on from it, “Let’s get back to work, alright?”

You were a little nervous to go over to Taehyung’s place the next weekend, but not for the right reasons. You should be worried about your safety and his erratic behavior but you’re not. You’re more worried on how the night will go with him and what this means for you both.

You didn’t even have to knock for Taehyung to know you were here. The door opened before you could ring the bell and he stood there looking perfect.

Taehyung’s been preparing all day for this. He’s made sure everything looked absolutely perfect for you and he looked through your Instagram food posts a million times to make your favorite things. He’s cleaned up the place and changed his bed sheets because tonight’s the night.

Everything he’s done has led up to tonight and everything he’s done for you was all worth it because look at where you are now. You’re standing pretty in his doorway looking at him with awe that had him melting inside. As he let you in, he wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you close and leaned down to kiss your cheek. He couldn’t stay still watching you look around and take his place in.

He got rid of a lot of stuff today in case you were already trying to see where your stuff could go when you move in.

“Wow,” you said looking around, “You’ve got a nice place.”

Taehyung left for the kitchen where he served you both a glass of wine and brought it over to you. You thanked him and continued to snoop while he watched you from afar.

“Dinner’s ready for whenever you’re hungry,” Taehyung said pointing to the dining table and you went to sit. He didn’t sit across from you but he sat on the side closest to you on the square table. He began to serve your plate as you set your phone facing down on the table and got yourself situated.

“Thanks for having me over,” you told him honestly as you looked at him with soft eyes, “I know it’s been a little confusing these last few days.”

“Don’t even worry about that, baby,” Taehyung said, trying his hardest to avoid talking about whatever problems happened, “I’m just happy I have you here with me.”

“So tell me,” you rested your chin in the palm of your hand as you looked at him. You realized that if you’re actually falling for Taehyung despite everything then you have to try and really understand him.

“Hm?” He waited patiently to hear what you had to say. He kept your plate at his side as he went ahead and picked up the silverware. He cut into some of the food before raising his hand toward you.

At first you just stared at it trying to get what he was doing and finally you let your lips part enough for him to feed you. He was being so gentle and just doing everything for you. That’s why he sat so close.

“What is it about me that you like?” You asked once you finished what was in your mouth. Taehyung thought for a second as he ate, a smile appearing on his face looking down at his plate.

“It’s hard to explain,” Taehyung said honestly, “I was immediately attracted to you the first time we met.”

You looked at him curiously and to be honest you don’t remember how you met. He waited to see if you would say anything but when you didn’t he kept going, “It was in the elevator. You were running late for something and we bumped into each other. All of your papers fell to the floor in front of me and I don’t know… I was in a bad mood that day but you were so cute and clumsy and made me smile which is very hard to do when I’m not in the mood.”

You laughed softly because in truth you barely remember but you do remember seeing him around and thinking about how hot he was. It wasn’t until he started making himself known to you that you started realizing how much he must like you.

“I wanted to ask you out then but I figured I had to try and be acquaintances first,” Taehyung said as he continued to feed you by hand, “But then I’d see others go to you and try to flirt and… I realized I was taking too long to speak up. It’s like suddenly you were all I could think about and it was driving me crazy because I wasn’t making a move, I was wasting time.”

“You were,” you told him, “So I had to ask you out first.”

Taehyung smiled, feeling happy beyond belief, “I know, I felt really great that whole weekend. It was like… I don’t know, it was nice to know you thought about me like that too.”

After dinner the two of you sat in Taehyung’s living room talking and drinking wine. At one point he closed the space between you until your legs were on his lap and his hand was caressing your bare thigh. Your arm was on his shoulder for support and he was telling you about how he grew up.

He seemed completely normal to you and it made you wonder if everything you were suspicious about was just in your head.

You were running your fingers through his hair lovingly as you said, “You’re not what I thought you’d be.”

“What did you think I’d be?” Taehyung asked, completely relishing the way you touched him that he leaned into you even more until your faces nearly brushed against each other.

You released a low sigh, “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t realize how serious you were about me. I always had a feeling bu—“

“Y/n,” his voice dropped as he looked at you. There was a dark look in his eyes that wasn’t there moments ago, “Don’t ever think I’m not serious about you. You’re my everything.”

You went quiet as you looked back at him trying to read the expression behind his eyes. In a flash, the darkness disappeared and he was smiling adoringly at you. He knows you don’t feel the same yet but he also knows you will soon so he’s not worried about hearing you tell him anything back.

“Where’s your bathroom?” You asked him, trying to find a little bit of space to think. He pointed to the hall and let you get off of him.

The night was going perfect and he can just tell you’re falling for him almost as hard as he’s fallen for you. He is in love with you and soon you’ll be in love with him too, he’ll make sure of it.

Taehyung stayed on the couch trying to calm his own nerves but he had a huge smile on his face. Everything has worked out so perfectly. All his preparations, all his scheming and calculations has led up to this and now you’re in his bathroom freshening. You’re in his home, his home.

If this all works the way he plans it to then it’ll be your home soon too. He doesn’t mind being the only provider, you can just stay here and he’ll be the one going to work. He can’t risk running into more men like the server and Minho. He can’t get caught and he’s already been too impulsive with the way he’s handled things.

He’ll sit you down and have a conversation with you because he doesn’t appreciate when anyone else tries to come between you two and you’re a hot topic at work. It’s no surprise of course considering you attracted Taehyung instantly and for a reason too. You’re just so beautiful to him, sure sometimes he can just tell you’re annoyed or upset but even then you make him giddy.

He’ll talk to you about the time you basically tried breaking up with him when you realized he’s the one who exposed Minho, but he won’t get mad, he swears. He’ll just tell you that he didn’t appreciate the way you attacked him for something he did for you. Thankfully you realized his intention and let the topic go but he just wants to make it clear that you won’t act that way with him again.

Taehyung checked the time on his watch one last time as he waited anxiously for your return. He was looking around his own apartment trying to find something to distract himself with when something suddenly caught his attention.

It wasn’t hard to draw him in considering the screen was lit up on your phone with a picture of a man displayed as someone tried calling you.

Jimin.

God, he couldn’t stand the guy.

He’s gotten rid of the server and Minho but he hasn’t had a chance to see Jimin other than the Christmas party.

Taehyung clicked for the call to end and right after text messages were flooding in.

jimin: how is it with the freak

jimin: lol pls tell me you’re alive

jimin: I don’t want to have to file a missing persons report

His head tilted to the side reading the three messages over and over and over again.

With a clenched jaw and bated breath he set the phone back down and sat back.

He’s a freak?

This Jimin guy thinks Taehyung will hurt you? He never will.

He. Never. Will.

So why does this man think that? He doesn’t even know him, what have you told him?

You came out with a smile on your face, you spent a lot of time just thinking and looking at yourself in the mirror. You’ve decided now that, yes, sometimes he does very questionable things but at the end of the day he hasn’t hurt you by any of it. He seems to genuinely have feelings for you and you’re developing strong ones for him too.

You really think you and Taehyung could work and he makes your heart race a little bit. Of course you don’t fully agree with what Taehyung did about Minho but surely it wasn’t entirely his fault. He said it himself, hw only brought forward Minho’s own dirt and made sure he got caught. Plus, going to the office has been so much easier without him there to sexualize you every chance he gets. Honestly, you should’ve thanked him for giving you those tickets because if he hadn’t then you would have never asked Taehyung to go with you out of spite.

When you found the living room empty you looked for Taehyung, finding him in the kitchen dumping the glasses of wine down the drain. He finally looked at you but there wasn’t that usual gentle smile on his face. He nodded toward the living room, “You got a call while you were gone.”

“Oh,” you went to get your phone which was exactly how you left it last and checked it out. Once you saw it was from Jimin you immediately felt yourself panic just slightly. You quickly texted Jimin to stop joking and put your phone back down and went to Taehyung.

“Are we done drinking for the night?” You asked because you could just feel that he wasn’t as happy as he was earlier. He didn’t give you a response as he walked around you to continue clean up the mess from your dinner.

You knew something was wrong when you saw him, he didn’t look as happy and now you know why. If he saw what Jimin sent you then you can see him being upset even if it’s just a joke. He seems to be very serious when it comes to you so he probably doesn’t appreciate you talking about him to Jimin as a joke either.

Shit.

You had to stop and think to try and figure out what to do. You don’t want him to be upset if you’re trying to see where things go with him. You’re not even sure if you can handle what kind of guy Taehyung is when he’s mad at you so you much rather not have to see that at all. You rather just make him forget whatever he saw and try to show him that you’re here for him, that’s what you need to do.

With your thoughts more organized, you stood taller and looked for him. He was once again in the kitchen with the sleeves of his button up shirt rolled up and his back to the countertop.

Taehyung saw you walking over to him but he couldn’t even bring himself to smile. He doesn’t like your friend, he wants Jimin gone. His hands were holding himself leaned up on the kitchen counter as you stood in front of him. His jaw was clenched with tension he felt in his muscles and not even your pretty, sparkly eyes could make him relax.

He was using a lot of strength to not take your phone and break it or better yet find Jimin and ask him what his problem was.

“Tae,” your hands went to the counter, almost touching his and essentially trapping him between them.

“What’s your friend talking about?” Taehyung asked suddenly and it caught you by surprise just a little. He’s usually blunt but he’s been so sweet all night and right now his voice was deeper than it had been.

“I don’t know,” you laughed nervously as you looked into his eyes, “He was just joking.”

The corner of his lips turned up in a scoff, “Don’t lie to me right now. You think I’m a freak?”

Your eyes widened just slightly, “What? N—no, Jimin’s just joking, he just says shit he thinks is fu—“

“Does he want you? Is that what’s going on?” Taehyung asked, clearly not hearing you out, “Do you want him?”

“Jimin and I are just frien—“

“I don’t want to hear his fucking name…” Taehyung dipped his head down, eyes on yours and your foreheads touching making it obvious that your attention had to be on him, “come out of your pretty mouth again.”

Taehyung wasn’t scaring you and that might be the most fucked up part of the night. For some reason you already had it in your head that he wouldn’t hurt you so you didn’t feel threatened at all. Jimin jokes around all the time but Taehyung doesn’t know him so he doesn’t get it. You’ve already grown a custom to his somewhat erratic behavior and it would be a waste to back out now, right?

If it’s going to work you need to give him signs too, right?

“Taehyung,” your voice was soft as you let a hand trail up toward the back of his neck which was dipped down to be closer to you. You tilted your head upward but still came up a little short of his lips, “I won’t say his name again.”

Right now he’s just upset, once he cools down you’re sure you can further explain your best friend’s behavior so that when the two do finally meet there’s no unresolved tension. You’re just trying to tell Taehyung what he wants to hear and how he wants it to happen. He wants you to admit what you feel without him forcing you to but the way he acts already gives you a push to open up to him.

It was all kind of a fucked up little game.

Taehyung looked encaptivated by your proximity but he still came off as unamused while looking at your soft lips that he wanted on his, “I don’t believe you.”

Your thumb softly brushes along the hair on his nape, “Will you believe it if I told you I want to be yours?”

His entire body seemed to go still, only his eyes switched back and forth trying to read the sincerity in your own. There’s a shift in the air as he realizes that what you’re saying is true and it had him acting before he could think.

You gasped in surprise as his hand tilted your jaw upward until your mouths crashed into each other with want. He was quickly forgetting about Jimin.

He dipped his head lower to deepen the kiss, his tongue swiping against your lips. You had to take a step back to keep yourself from stumbling but Taehyung just followed after you, finally pushing off the counter.

His hands were running down your sides wrinkling your dress in the process as he stopped on your ass. There was no denying the fact that you just told Taehyung what he’s wanted to hear for some time now. He was in a frenzy, feeling you up as you made out with tongue.

When it became too much for one breath you had to push away but you immediately became breathless once more when his kiss trailed down your neck to your jaw. Your hands began to claw at his shirt trying to feel more and more of him.

Taehyung pulled out of the kiss with a low groan as if doing that wasn’t in his agenda but he needed to breathe. He looked down at you with that familiar dark gaze of his and breathed heavily, “Bedroom?”

You let him drag you away, literally, his arms circled under your thighs and lifted you enough for your feet not to drag against the floor and carried you down the hall. Before you know it, Taehyung was setting you down on the silk sheets like you were the most fragile thing he’s ever come across. His body quickly pressed against yours and your hands immediately came around his face to pull him into another heated kiss.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispered against your skin as his hands roamed along your sides and his kisses ran down your collarbone to what was exposed cleavage to his hungry mouth. You sigh in content as he pulls at the top of your dress to lower it under your lacy bra that had him whining in his deep voice at the sight of your covered breasts. He continued to kiss between the valley of your breasts and you had to wiggle around to bring your hands up and push him back but he didn’t like that.

He stopped his hissing as he pulled up with a glare in his eyes but you just ran your fingers through his hair, “Do you believe me yet? That I wanna be yours?”

He laughed softly as he dipped down to kiss you one more time before finally got moving to sit back between your legs on his knees and watch you sit up, “You’ve been mine from the moment I saw you, baby.”

You went silent as you sat in front of him, not bothering to argue or confirm what he said. I stead you smiled, “Then will you let me show it?”

He moved off the bed to watch you more clearly and try and see if you were serious.

“Show me then,” Taehyung said lowly even as his fingers trembled with anticipation watching you move onto your knees and pull at the bottom of your dress before it went over your head and landed on the floor as you began to crawl over to the edge of the bed. He had to bite down on his bottom lip to stop himself from groaning at the sight. You looked everything like he imagined but better.

He watched your hands reach for the buttons of his shirt and he made absolutely no move to help you undress him, he focused on your lust filled gaze as you stared back at him instead of what you were doing.

Each button you undid of his shirt had you leaning closer to kiss down the expanse of his torso going lower and lower until you were at the final button just above his jeans. Taehyung let his head fall back when you kissed along his happy trail while your fingers began to tug at the hem of his pants.

You undid the button and pulled the zipper down before bringing them down enough to expose the waistband of his briefs. Taehyung loved every second of unbreakable eye contact you gave him as your hand ran down his navel to slip under the hem of his Calvin Klein’s.

He couldn’t hold back the low grunt that escaped his lips as your hand made their way to his naked member, palming him under the constricting layers he still wore. Your fingers wrapped around his hardening length giving him a cautious stroke. You kissed down his chest making him groan when he felt teeth nip at his skin playfully while your palm covered the top of his cock and smeared it with precum.

Taehyung ran his fingers through your hair as you slowly sank down to your knees and he licked his dry lips with want. If this was what it was like to be worshiped by you then he hopes he always gets to experience it. He’ll do the same every day to you if you let him.

He felt a shiver run down his spine when you finally tugged his jeans off along with his briefs as he kicked them off only leaving him in his open button up shirt. You sat pretty in front of him, a hand on his cock that felt heavy in your hold and as he combed your hair back so he could see your face better, you took the first taste.

Your tongue began at the base of his cock then licked all the way to his tip teasingly and Taehyung wasn’t embarrassed by the way his entire body seemed to react to the first wet glide. Both of his hands sunk into your hair to keep himself from doubling over and making you take more than you could. With a small tilt of your head you finally opened your lips enough for his tip to slip in. He couldn’t control the low groan he let out when you licked over his slit collecting the clear drops of precum.

You still had a hand around his waist, squeezing a little while you stroked his length with his cock head being sucked on. Little by little you began to sink more of his dick down your throat and it was creating a wet glide with spit. The hands in your hair were getting a bit more firm, keeping you in place but still allowing you to move.

Taehyung’s lips were parted with quiet moans slipping from them as he looked down at you with awe. He had to squeeze his eyes shut from the pleasure but it only intensified when all he could focus on were the lewd sounds your throat made as you bobbed your head along his cock.

“Oh, baby,” Taehyung couldn’t stop his body from folding over you as if he wanted to draw his hips away but he held your head in place.

He was so close, he’s been dreaming about this for days. There’s a reason why he didn’t want to do more the first night you went out and it’s because he wanted the moment to be right. It wasn’t right at the time, you weren’t sure of your feelings but now you are and bows the time he makes it official with you.

“So good,” the words came out slurred as he licked his lips, “So fucking good.”

Knowing he was close, you began to twist your wrists, jerking him off with both hands and as much of his cock as could fit in your mouth.

He didn’t give much warning other than his attempt to take his dick out of your mouth only to pull on your hair and make you swallow his release as he came down your throat. Once the initial shock at the sudden roughness had worn off, you continued to suck him off trying to milk him dry, feeling his thighs tense up and shake as pretty moans fell from his lips.

You’ve had sexual partners before so you know that sometimes it takes them a while to it back up or at least time to let his high down but Taehyung was different. His hands came down under your chin, almost grabbing at your neck as he pulled you up enough for your mouths to meet in a disgusting kiss that tasted like his own release and he didn’t even seem to care.

You had to stand up from the way he tried dragging you up and once you were on your feet, he had a soft gonna hold on your neck, “I love you.”

You seemed to freeze up at his words, trying to process what he just said. It was way too soon to admit something like that even if you had a feeling he felt that way for a while now. Taehyung didn’t even seem to notice your sudden hesitation and kissed you hungrily once again. You didn’t do anything but kiss him back with equal hunger and let him walk you back until you hit the edge of the bed.

Neither one of you broke away from the kiss as he swiftly scoot you back on the bed until your head hit the pillows. Taehyung licked your tongue with his, “I can’t wait anymore.”

You could feel the tip of his cock brush against your covered folds and it was still astounding to you that his erection never went away if anything it became harder.

“Condom?” You asked between kisses, head following after Taehyung when he tried to move back. God, you were being pulled in by his sexual advances. You wanted more and more of him too and he did seem to make you hesitate when he said he loved you but… but it’s doing things to you. You wanted him bad.

As he rummaged through his drawers for a condom you slipped your bra off half distracting him from his looking when he was met with the sight of your exposed breasts. Taehyung had to shake the image of you away as he found what he was looking for and cut into the wrapper like he was being timed. He came back between your legs and helped you slide your panties off, watching a line of slick connect your folds to the fabric. He let a finger run along then and gather some of your wetness before bringing it to his mouth.

He sighed in pleasure, loving the way you tasted.

Taehyung did most of the work moving your legs up where he wanted them and kissed you reassuringly. He had a hand on his cock giving himself a few strokes while running his tip between your pussy lips and coating his member with your slick.

His other hand was happily finding your breasts and cupping one as he let his fingers pinch at your hardened nipple. You released a quiet whine from the slight pull and the way his dick seemed to be teasing you to the point where your hips were trying to meet his efforts halfway.

“Baby,” you sighed breathlessly and he felt his heart swell. It was the first time you’ve ever called him anything other than Taehyung and he needed to hear it again. He needed to feel all of you so he lowered his head to place a kiss on the roundness of your tit. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders not wanting to stop when his tongue swiped at your nipple, licking it before sucking it into his mouth.

His hips seemed to sink down as his hand lined his cock between your folds more accurately. His knees dug into the mattress as he continued his assault on your tits and let only his tip slip into your entrance. Your hands were on his shoulder but soon moving along his back as if trying to hurry along and he let himself sink down more and more.

When he circled his tongue around your nipple he made your back arch into him, tightening around his cock with the new angle that had you both moaning softly.

Taehyung was careful at first, only steady thrusts, in and out, drawn back fully before pushing in softly. His body was so close, finally being inside of you felt like it was where he belonged. The way your bodies just fit so perfectly against each other was proof that you were meant to be. He had to try and be calm so you wouldn’t get scared when in reality all he wants to do is fuck you till you’re only thinking about him.

You grip his shoulders tightly, moving your hips in rhythm with him as you matched his thrusts, showing him that you wanted more. One of the hands you had on his bare back was coming up to the nape of his neck where you pulled on his hair hard enough to make him leave your breasts and crawl back to your awaiting lips.

"Why are you so fucking pretty?" He licked the corner of your mouth as you watched his hips draw back before pushing forward harshly. He was fucking you at a slower pace but still being a little rough, “So fucking pretty it hurts, baby.”

You smiled as your body seemed to move along the sheets with his harsh thrusts as you looked into his eyes, still holding the back of his hair, “Do you love me?”

God, it scared you but you wanted to hear it over and over again as he fucked you senseless.

“Yes,” Taehyung moaned out as a hand came to your hair grabbing a handful of it for control. He didn't pull but he just needed something to hold tight the way you held him, he let his hand circle around your thigh and bring it up to his waist where you wrapped your legs around him, "Don’t care if you don’t love me yet, you will.”

Warning bells went off but you weren’t listen because his thrusts became more rough, losing his rhythm in the process but passionately and aggressively fucking you. You lean up to kiss him for a moment and he releases a deep groan as he peeled his body off yours so he could sit back on his haunches and fuck you like that.

"Taehyung," you moaned again, hands gripping the sheets when he got too far out of your reach.

"I love you so fucking much," he growled as he moved so that a leg of yours fell back down on the mattress while he stretched the other one up to rest on his shoulder.

He leaned forward not caring much for your flexibility and cupped your chin between his fingers and thumb. Just like that, he began to fuck you in this new position that had you whining in pain and pleasure.

“Say you’re mine,” he said through gritted teeth as he felt your walls clench around him making it harder for him to grind his cock into your needy cock without feeling the need to release any second.

“I’m yours,” you whispered with moans falling from your lips, “I’m yours, Taehyung.”

Fuck, he hated how quickly he could cum with your words and he had to make you cum before he did this time. He lowered the hand he had on your thigh to your clit where he began to flick the hardened bud between two fingers, fucking into you the way you deserved and your head was falling back with a loud moan.

His face was pressed against your leg and his eyes squinted shut as he felt his release building up to the point where Taehyu f was fucking you so hard and fast that the pillows were falling off the bed along with some of the sheets.

“I’m gonna cum,” you finally said and with a swift push of your leg off his shoulder; he was hugging your body to him as he brought you both to orgasm.

The room was filled with a mixture of pants and loud moans from the two of you. Taehyung pressed his face against yours as he repeated in whispers, “I love you, Y/n. I love you. I love you so much.”

You never gave him a response but he didn’t need one to express himself to you. He knew that you wanted him by the way you cling to him even as he tries to dislodge himself so he could take the uncomfortable condom off his softening dick. He looked down at the mess he’s made of you and the way your chest rose and fell with each heavy breath you took and he couldn’t take it.

He couldn’t help but want to make you feel so good and it made him realize the mistake he’s made. In his rush to be inside you, he never thanked you for taking his dick in your mouth like the perfect slut you are for him. He got a small taste of your pussy on his fingers but he hasn’t put his mouth on it directly and that’s a damn shame.

He can see that you’re still coming down from the high of orgasm but he couldn’t help himself. He was crawling down your open legs to find himself face to face with your used cunt that pushed out cum even now.

You felt the movement down there but you still hadn’t fully been paying attention until Taehyung moved.

Taehyung was sneaky like that, he’ll make himself noticed only when he wants to and of course it was only when his wet tongue met your oversensitive clit with a long lick. You nearly yelped and had your legs squeezing around his legs, “Wa—wait.”

“Tae—Baby, I jus— ” You whimpered as you heard the slick sounds of his mouth eagerly lapping up your release from the good fuck he’s just given you, “Stop, pl—“

You bit back a whine as Taehyung suddenly pulled back. He crawled up to you with open eyes as he studied your face for any idea of what you might be thinking. You wanted him to stop?

He still had a hand wrapped around your thigh and he ran small circles into the side with the pad of his thumb as he said, “You want me to stop?”

You were abusing your bottom lip with the way you bit into it and it had his eyes zoning in on the action wanting nothing more but to pull out with his own teeth until your mouths clashed once more. But no.

No, he won’t. He has to see what you really want.

“I’m still sensitive,” you whispered as you cupped his face in your hands admiring how pretty he looked covered in sweat. He kissed the palm of your hand as it slipped lower down his cheek, “I’ll be gentle baby, I just want a taste.”

“Mm,” you moaned at those soft words and he smiled, “I’m tired though.”

He watched the way you turned your bottom lip out into a pout and he felt his heart explode as he whispered, “I’ll do all the work. I’ll clean you up.”

With a pleased sigh at his proposal you nodded, “Okay.”

He’s treated you right all night even if your friend might’ve put him in a bad mood. You knew just how to make him feel better and the things he’s said the entire time you’ve been having sex was finally getting to you.

That’s why, before he could go back down to eating you out, you made sure to say, “I love you too.”

Taehyung was like a devil in disguise and you’ve probably known this since the moment you met him. He played the charming, charismatic man too well.

He played the nice guy, the respectful one, the kind one yet that’s not the version of him that you fell for believe it or not.

The part that really made you fall for him was the way he lied and played with people like it was a game. He is picture perfect and you love that but you also love the fact that nobody but you seems to understand how crazy and calculative he is.

He can smile in someone’s face only to stab them in the back if they say one thing to him or you that he doesn't like. You learned to accept that after what happened with Minho. When he finally opened up to what happened that had him so on edge on your first date it all made sense.

He couldn’t end that first night perfectly when he thought that the server ruined it. You understood him now, so you should understand why he doesn’t want you around Jimin.

You know Taehyung could act like he’s gotten over his possessiveness and has learned to accept the years long friendship you’ve had with Jimin, but you know that’ll all be a lie.

You know that in his pretty little head he’s probably going to be thinking about ways to make Jimin disappear and you found yourself not really caring either way.

Jimin is a good friend of yours and you had every intention of communicating that with Taehyung after the first night you slept together but it was pointless. He already had it in his mind that he didn’t want you to see each other you could lie and say you were mad but for some reason you didn’t care much about it anymore.

Maybe Taehyung had been the right one for you all along and you just wanted to make up all these weird suspicions about him even if he was very obvious with the way he felt for months. It took him so long to be the guy you can be comfortable around only for you to fall for his more manipulative side instead.

“Do you love me?” You asked in a quiet voice as the two of you sat side by side in a booth at a café. You were tucked away in a corner hidden from the view of others and he had a leg of yours on his lap so he could run his hand along it. His nose brushed against yours, “Yes.”

You smiled, “I love you too.”

“Do you?” He asked more seriously, like he always thought you were lying to him, like he still needed to do everything in his power to show you even though you’re already isolating yourself from others for him.

“Yes,” you said with a nod of your head.

He pressed his lips against yours, still being gentle with you as you kissed him back.

Taehyung felt more at ease than he has in a very long time and it’s because he knew everything paid off. Every single calculation he did in his head on how to get you to be his was finally done. He doesn’t have to plot anymore or sabotage something in his favor, he’s done with those little games.

He has you and there’s absolutely no way he’s letting you go.

::.

a/n ok @aris-ink I tried my best at a dark concept so you gotta tell me how I did 😭

anyways I’ve been in such a Taehyung mood for weeks now and I haven’t written for him in a while since his special secret was a rewrite

hope this wasn’t toooo bad

personal taglist: @notmyfaultbutours @rerefundslocals @fandems @sugaluvmyg @guvgguk @kimyishin @libra04 @kooromiwrld @classycreationcupcake-blog @alwaysdreamingnotsleeping @cherrymonlightt @nikkiordonez12 @asking4-sanity @thvlover7 @saweetspoiled @uwu2rawr @shaybts-blog @babycandy111 @tearyjjeon @joons-uparupa @jeonninja @yellowcupid08 @02010802faves @knudsenheggedel @skzthinker @unnatae @aurorthi @beautywine @95ene @taekookstata @lilliankoo @shescharlie e @annenakamura @lesoleile @burnahtsw @babybella337 @kooloveys @ku-ku @chaelvrx @minnie-mouser22

#kim taehyung #Taehyung smut #yandere taehyung #taehyung angst #taehyung au #taehyun fanfic #kim taehyung smut #taehyung drabble #taehyung oneshot #bts taehyung #Taehyung fluff #taehyung #taehyung fic #bts drabble #bts smut #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #something about him

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penkura · 4 months

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Hey there my lovely penguin lover,

I hope you will like my idea. I would love to see a scenario where penguin has a fever or something like that and y/n takes care of him. And maybe he has a fever dream and is confessing his feelings for y/n and because he is delulu in this moment maybe he thinks its a dream and kiss her or something like that and the next day he doesnt remember anything anymore. Y/n is flustered af and shachi (maybe the Rest of the crew) is teasing him because they knew that he might done something.

Does this make any sense? Anyway i hope you will like this idea. Many love to you and twke care of yourself.

Omggg hiiii fellow Penguin lover, your fics make me so happy to see them omg.

I loved this request sm, but I had to break it into two parts! I didn't want it to be too long and wanted to make sure I hit everything, but here's part one! I'll have part two posted soon and tag you in it of course!! :)

Normally you wouldn’t mind being left behind while the rest of your crew took off to visit and scope out the most recent island you’ve surfaced it, your captain Law giving you all a reprieve to have a small break and stretch your legs. You’d go into town with Ikkaku, or Shachi and Penguin, sometimes Bepo, and start to find where you could restock anything that was needed, before reporting to Law and him letting you go do as you pleased. Ikkaku was likely to drag you into all the stores to find new clothes and the like, Penguin would always look out for a bookstore to take you to, and Shachi and Bepo would find a place for all of you to have a meal together before you returned to the Polar Tang. That’s under normal circumstances though.

Today, you’d rather be out and in the sun, but you’ve been enlisted to take care of the bedridden Penguin. He’d suddenly come down with a fever the day before, your captain believing it to be stress, it didn’t seem to be viral or anything like that. Penguin had likely overworked himself, something he’d become prone to doing lately for some reason, you’ve even told him to relax numerous times, somethings could wait until a bit later to be done, but he’d quickly brush you off with a smile and run off to whatever was next.

“What a sorry state you’ve gotten yourself into, Penguin,” you hum while watching him, a damp washcloth covering from his forehead down over his eyes while he tried to breathe easily, “I told you all of that stuff could wait, or I could’ve helped you…”

Penguin has been out of it for hours now. He’s woken up a few times, almost in delusion from his fever, once thinking he was in the ocean outside the submarine and another time believing there were aliens hiding in the ship. Law tried to keep him asleep longer with a light sedative, that was before the alien dream that woke him in complete terror. He only calmed down enough to go back to bed when you started talking to him, promising him everything was fine, and he let you walk him back to his bed. Law requested you stay behind today, it seemed like Penguin was only going to stay calm with you around, but he’d send Shachi or Ikkaku back later to give you a break.

Now, he’s been completely calm and sleeping the last couple of hours, it makes you happy to see him finally relaxing. You do wonder how on earth it was only you who could calm him down, not even Shachi was able to convince him to lay back down after the second fever dream. Your red-haired friend snickered a bit, saying something along the lines of “as if you don’t know”, but you really don’t, you’re still confused by it. Ikkaku had wished you good luck when she left, a smile on her face that told her she was thinking about your crush on Penguin, and how you now had alone time with him, even though he’s sick in bed.

You flip through a magazine Ikkaku let you borrow for a few minutes, before you hear Penguin start to stir, moving to take the washcloth of his face before you move to stop it.

“Hey, wait, you still need that, Penguin,” grabbing his hand to stop him, you realize the washcloth isn’t cool anymore, he must be warming up again, “Let me get this wet again, lay back down.”

Penguin barely recognizes that its you taking care of him, his fever is making everything foggy in his head, its like he’s not really there. But he believes he must be dreaming again, there’s no way you, who he’s been absolutely enthralled and in love with the last three years, was taking care of him. Its another fever dream, right? Right, it must be Ikkaku taking care of him this time, the fever is just making him think it’s you. He sits up and tries to focus on your back, still convinced it’s just Ikkaku taking care of him, and just starts talking.

“Hey…Ikka…you think she’ll…hate me?”

“What’re you talking about? Who would hate you?”

“[Y/N]…will she hate me?”

Once you have the washcloth wet again, you bring it over to Penguin and start pressing it against his forehead, tilting your head in confusion in the process.

“Why would I—she hate you?”

“Cause I…I love her so much…but haven’t told her…”

Stopping, your face feels flush, and your heart picks up, not having expected that from Penguin. Ikkaku has never told you that Penguin has feelings for you, let alone that he’s in love with you. She’s never giving you even a hint that he might like you back, even with you constantly swooning over him secretly. She seemed to have a smile every time you did, always telling you to just go down the hall and tell him, it had been four years for heaven’s sake, its about time some kind of romance happened on this submarine!

“I…what?”

“You’re a girl…how do I tell her?”

At least he can’t tell that it’s actually you he’s talking to, the fever is really doing its work on him. He really thinks he’s talking to Ikkaku, you wonder how many times they’ve gone back and forth about this, if he’s asking about it now.

“Just,” you take a deep breath and try to make him lay down, but he’s still much stronger than you even bedridden with a high fever, he doesn’t budge, “Just tell her, Penguin…I’m sure it’ll go well.”

“But how?”

“I don’t know!” Penguin relents just a bit and leans back a little when you push him, but he still stares you with those half-lidded blue eyes, its so hard for him to make out that it’s you still. “Just…tell her! Go up to her and say, ‘I love you’ and see what happens!”

He quiets, looking like he might be thinking even though he really should be laying down, before nodding and speaking again, like he’s practicing and has done so with Ikkaku multiple times. He has, you just don’t know right now, Ikkaku tells you this later down the line when you bring this day up to her.

“Okay…[Y/N]…?”

“Y-Yeah, Penguin?” you swallow, still wondering if this is actually happening or if you’re having a fever dream now. It can’t be real; it just can’t be. There’s no way Penguin loves you back, just no way.

“I…” His fever is hitting him again, he really should be laying down, but he doesn’t realize he’s doing this, “I…love you, [Y/N].”

You think he’s passing out when he starts to lean towards you but realize he’s not when he quickly kisses you, being actually passing out and his forehead hits your shoulder. He’s still burning up, from the fever or embarrassment you’re not sure, but now that he’s back asleep, you’re able to push him back to laying down again. Placing the washcloth back on his forehead, you don’t stay in the room and instead leave, quietly closing the door behind you while your face burns out of your own embarrassment and you finally take a real breath again.

That didn’t just happen. That DIDN’T just happen. He’s delusional because of the fever, right. Of course he is, he thought we were being invaded earlier. He didn’t know what he was doing.

“Hey, [Y/N], you go—”

You scream when Shachi places a hand on your shoulder and tries to ask what’s going on, making him scream too because you scared him just as badly as he scared you.

“What’d you scream for?!”

“You scared me!!”

“Well why were you so lost in your head?!”

“Because--!” You cut yourself off because you don’t really want to tell Shachi what happened, even when he gives you a concerned look before you start running towards your and Ikkaku’s room. “Nothing happened! I’m going to my room!!”

Shachi tries to stop you, but you’re gone too quickly. Now he’s starting to think you have a fever that’s making you crazy too, before he goes into the room Penguin’s been resting in and hears him mumbling something in his sleep about you. Most of the crew knows about Penguin’s crush on you, making Shachi wonder if his best friend’s fever induced state made him do something he shouldn’t have, or wasn’t really ready to.

“What the hell did you do, Pen?”

#one piece x reader #reader insert #penguin x reader #op penguin x reader #fem!reader

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drewharrisonwriter · 1 year

Text

Donor Part 2

Part 1 | Part 1.5 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Pairings: Bestie Henry Cavill x OFC

A/N, Warnings: 18+, follow up to Donor. English is not my first language. There's drinking, breakups, failed IUIs and more. Just an overall adult-themed content. But no smut...YET! (BWAHAHA) As usual, not beta'ed, and plot points are perhaps shaky and a bit far from reality, but hey! It's called fiction for a reason. LOL Excuse my deluluness, you're welcome to join.

I’m AO3, too as MoonDjarin ^_^

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” You said, a tear escaped from the corner of your eye, slipping down your cheeks which you immediately wiped with the back of your hand.

Henry pulled you in on a side hug, letting out a slow sigh, closing his eyes as he planted a kiss on your temple.

Five negative pregnancy tests sit on your bathroom counter.

Five more to add to the stash of tests that you somehow decided you wanted to keep in a box under the counter. Just in case…of what? You're not even sure yourself.

This was your third try over the past year. Three rounds of IUI and a box full to the brim of negative pregnancy tests lay heavy on your heart and mind.

For all the things you've accomplished all your life, this is becoming the most challenging. You already feel like a failure.

"There's always a next time, darling." Henry comforted you, gently rubbing the small of your back. You just sobbed, soaking his shirt with your tears.

"I don't know. I'm so sorry for dragging you into this, Hank." He hushed you gently and led you out to your living room.

You both settled on the couch, where you snuggled to Henry, feet tucked under you, as you continued to sob and he just held you against his broad chest.

"I just don't get it, why is it so hard? I'm literally biologically made for this."

"Well, just because it didn't happen now doesn't mean it won't. It's only been three tries." He cooed.

"Three tries over the span of 8 months, Hank. I took a really long break, I gave up touring for this. You…took time for this, too."

“You do realize that you can’t go on tour when you’re pregnant, right?” He replied and you just let out a loud sigh.

“But I’m not. I could be touring instead, you could be out on a date with someone you like.” He snorted.

“Well, first of all. I love you, you know that. And darling, you can’t be in two places at once. These things take time. Why so hard on yourself?”

You honestly feel like your brain is so fried and your body so tired, and bloated.

You feel like shit.

The tests may tell you there’s no baby in there, but boy do you look pregnant from the bloatedness, thanks to the fertility medications that have proven themselves useless so far and it’s becoming a tabloid talk recently.

You can’t read another pregnancy speculation about yourself.

Not when you know it’s not happening at all. Plus, there’s a huge chance of dragging Henry’s name into it, which you’re doing your best to prevent from happening. Not going out in public with him where you know you could be snapped. You haven’t told anyone about your little secret, not even his family.

“I’m taking a break from this then.” You said softly, after a long pause. Henry looked at you, surprised to hear the words come out of you. He just nodded in response, and pulled you in closer.

—-

Henry pulled up your driveway and turned down the radio, opening the passenger side of the door to let you in. You pulled the door open and got in, giving Henry light air kisses on each cheek.

“Look at you!” You leaned back to take him in, and whistled. He cocked his head in laughter with a hand across his chest, like it was about to burst.

It’s been six months since the last time you saw each other; you stopped trying and went back to touring for a bit, and he went on to start filming a movie and doing press junkets here and there.

It had been a busy couple of months and it made Henry think of the what ifs. Glad that you both don’t have to think of a child in the middle of all the things going on in your lives recently, but sad that you don’t get to hold your dream in your arms.

You both have talked about it, co-parenting. You were surprisingly alright with it, “Better have both parents if you can, right?” You had said, but were clear that you won’t be asking him for anything, still offering to not have him on the birth certificate or forcing a set schedule on him to have the child over, which honestly broke his heart.

You’re always giving him an out, always thinking of him, his career, his family.

He wanted to give the child his last name, he wanted to take care of them on his times off or even bring them to set on his days with them, but he didn’t tell you that. In fact, there are so many things that Henry held back as he didn’t want to take this away from you, he knows how important this is to you.

He’d convinced himself that he’d be content with whatever you give him. He just wants you to have your dream and be happy. He can be happy with that, too.

“So, how’s life on the road?” He asked as you snapped your seatbelt on and he began to drive.

“Good, the usual.” You replied casually. “And how are you, Superman? A little birdie told me you’re seeing someone.” You wiggled your eyebrows playfully at him, and he just side-eyed you with a cocked brow.

“Let me guess, Charlie told you?” He breathed. You shook your head, opening your purse to take out a packet of Reese’s pieces.

“No, your mom, actually.” You replied, shoving marbled chocolates into your mouth. Remembering the phone call you had with Marianne a few weeks ago, and your brain immediately goes into overdrive. Wondering if Henry would still want to donate sperm or if this budding relationship of his had changed his mind. You remember feeling hurt that you won’t be co-parenting with him… But as always, you understood. He has his life, you have yours. He’s already given you so much all those months ago when you tried.

Your brain went into a hundred different scenarios all at once during that phone call, you wondered how you ever got through it.

“Hey!” He exclaimed when he heard you ripping the packet and started chewing. “No eating in the car!”

“Jesus, so strict! It’s just Reese’s pieces, it’s not gonna stink up the damned car. Calm down! Here, have some...” You held your hand out next to his mouth and he reluctantly ate the chocolates.

“Damn, that’s good.” He muttered.

“So, who’s the girl?” You pressed on, still chewing, and he just chuckled, shaking his head.

“No one.” He said, holding his palm out and you poured more Reese’s in them. “It didn’t work out.” He added before shoving the chocolate into his mouth.

“Oh, that’s too bad.” You replied dryly.

“Enough about me.” He said, mouth still full with chocolates. “Excited for tonight?”

“Oh absolutely. Haven’t seen you and the gang in a long time.” He chuckled at the way you referred to his brothers and some of your group of friends’ as ‘the gang’.

—

It was Charlie’s birthday and drinks were overflowing, the music was loud, reverberating throughout the exclusive club one of your common friends owns. You were lost on the dance floor, a drink in hand swaying–hoping your legs won’t give out from both exhaustion, fun and alcohol all mixed together like the cocktail in your hand.

Your friend, Emilia, stood on her toes lightly to whisper something in your ear. You could not hear exactly what she was saying, but she was gesturing with her thumb to the guy behind her holding her other hand, with a huge smile plastered on his face. You just nodded and they left.

You saw Charlie and Simon going back to the dancefloor with a bottle of champagne on each hand, showering people with the bubbly treat. You laughed as both men refilled the now empty glass in your hand until it overflowed and your shoes were soaking wet.

Charlie chugged down a bottle and raised it with a loud “Whoo!” when he finished it in one go. You laughed harder and downed your own drink in one go, too. Simon refills it soon as you’re done.

You’re definitely drunk now.

The two men went deeper into the dance floor and shared the bubbly drinks with more of the guests dancing. Left alone now with a half-empty glass, you started or more like swayed your way back to the bar, almost stumbling over a bar stool when you suddenly felt a hand slip on your waist, pulling you up to your seat, you turned halfway to see who it was and surprised to see Henry beaming down on you, hand still splayed across your stomach.

“Enjoying yourself?” He whispered next to your ear, lightly nuzzling his nose at your earlobe. You felt a shiver run down your spine.

He seemed to be drunk, too. You thought. Except he wasn’t; Henry tried his best to stick to just a pint, knowing that he’d have to drive later that night. But there was something about you, about the situation, about the dress you’re wearing that made him a little bolder than usual. He took his hands off you, afraid of ruining the moment.

You smiled and nodded in reply, “Yeah. I’m not drinking anymore. I’m too old for this.” You laughed as he settled in the seat next to you. You flagged the bartender and ordered yourself a bottle of water.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You said after downing half of the bottle. “I’m too old for this.” You repeated.

“Would rather stay home with the kids, honey?” He joked and you laughed.

“Yeah, better call the sitter cause I’m going home now to tuck them in myself.” You joked back with a wide smile as you got off your seat. He threw his head back laughing.

“No, seriously, Hank. I’m going home.” You told him and he nodded.

“Let me take you home.” You shook your head ‘no’.

“It’s fine, Hank. I’m calling an Uber.”

“There are paps outside, I’m driving you myself.” You snickered at his argument.

“What difference would it make? Paps seeing us together would only make it worse.” He knew you were right, but he can’t let you go home alone like this.

But Henry was persistent. He took your hand and led you to a back exit that leads straight to the parking lot, not long after you were seated at the passenger seat of his car as you watched London go by in blur through the window.

“You okay?” He asked, you’ve be been quiet for far too long.

“Mmhmm…”

“What’s going on in there?” He asked, tapping a finger on your temple and you snickered, shaking your head.

“Nothing…I think I’m just tired.” Lie. You wanted to ask him if he’s dating again after the last one Marianne told you about. You wanted to ask him if he’d still want to donate, and co-parent, and draw dreams together in the air like you did a few months ago. But you’ve thought of this over and over the past few weeks, it wouldn’t be right anymore.

You wondered why you never thought of possible scenarios before you even started with your IUI’s.

Henry let out a slow breath, he knew exactly what’s in your head. He knew that you weren’t over the disappointment and the heartbreak from the last time your IUI failed. He knows so well, and this is exactly what he was waiting for, an opportunity to open it up.

“When’s your next time off?” He asked and you looked up at him slightly surprised.

“I have one last string of shows in London next weekend and after that I’m a free man.” You replied. “Why? Do I need to babysit Kal again?” You joked.

He laughed, shaking his head, his curls bouncing on the side of his head. His dimples were so deep and the light that shone through the windshield from the car in front of you casted a beautiful shadow against his sharp features.

Wow, you are definitely drunk.

“What are you looking at?” He asked when he felt your eyes on him; He cocked an eyebrow at your direction, but you only shook your head in response. Willing yourself to stop ogling him.

Nearly 20 years of friendship, you asked yourself, why are you only realizing exactly just how handsome he is?

You always knew he was good looking, great physique, killer smile, incredible sense of humor. But you’ve never seen him in this light nor have you ever felt a warmth pooling in your center at the mere sight of him.

What was in the drinks at Charlie’s party?

He looked at you and let out another laugh and muttered, “Jesus.” Your brows are furrowed, lips slightly parted and you look at him not with confusion, no. It’s as if you’re coming to a sudden realization about something, if only he knows what.

He called out your name, looking at you quickly and turning his eyes back on the road, his grip on the wheels tightened a bit. Knuckles almost turning white.

“Hmm?” You sounded like you were being taken out of a daze. He chuckled and shook his head. “You are so drunk, are you?”

“I guess.” You murmured, blinking a few times before looking down at your hands, playing with the hem of your skirt.

“May I ask you something?”

“Go on.”

“Would you…” He started but he paused. “Would you want to try again?”

That startled you. After the last time you tried and failed, and then him dating again, you didn’t think he’d still want to donate. And if you’re being a hundred percent honest with yourself, you wouldn’t want to ask him anymore, not wanting to complicate his future relationships by being tied to you with a child. Despite the fact that you think he’s the perfect donor, in all aspects, including co-parenting.

“I don’t know, Hank. I mean, of course I wanted to try again but…” You swallowed, man, this is hard but it’s for the best, you thought. “But you don’t have to donate anymore.”

Read Part 3

Tag list:

@jyessaminereads @summersong69 @itsrubberbisquit

#Henry Cavill #henry cavill fic #henry cavill x #henry cavill smut #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fluff #henry cavill x female reader #henry cavill x little!reader #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x plus size reader #henry cavill x pregnant reader #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x y/n #henry cavill x you #henry cavill characters

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lucysarah-c · 2 months

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hello!

how do you think Levi would deal with someone who likes him romantically? Would he notice sooner? What if the person confessed to him? What would he say if he didn't like the person that way?

Hi! What are you up to <3

I think Levi has the social skills of a cat... which are non-existent, boop you if you get too close without his consent, and put on a grumpy face if forced to be around people. So I hardly doubt Levi notices if someone has a crush on him unless they are extremely obvious. Maybe he notices they seem to be into him, but that's it. He's not paying it any mind unless he's into that person too... Like if this man had to pay attention to each girl in the underground that fangirled over him because he was the strongest, or to any girl that fangirls over him because he's Captain Levi.

I feel that if he notices that the other person is interested and he's not, but ALSO if he's not in a relationship (I highlight this part), he will fake delulu. He will pretend he doesn't notice and brush it all off, not giving the other person more reasons for their feelings but also not addressing them.

For example, Isayama said that Levi knew that Oluo was imitating him and he found it annoying but did you notice Levi doing any mention? Levi probably prefers to let certain things wash away than get into a social interaction lmao.

If he's in a relationship, Levi is extremely loyal and likes to set clear limits. So if he notices the other person is trying and he's taken, he may try to drop it a bit casually like, "My wife does this and that," like "get the clue, I'm taken." This man is not scared to tell them, "I find this uncomfortable, don't."

For example, let's say Levi's girlfriend enjoys being the one who makes his afternoon tea after he's done with training and is about to sit down to do paperwork, and this person does it for him. He is going to notice that something is crossing a line between subordinate and "I'm trying to get your attention." This man won't hesitate to say, "Thank you, but don't do it again. My girlfriend does this." He will set limits very clearly.

Regarding a confession, Levi may come across as harsh, but he doesn't mostly because he doesn't want to give the other person false hopes. He may wait for them to finish and say, "I'm not interested in a relationship at the moment, nothing to do with you as a person." Levi will probably think of it as taking a band-aid off; he wants to be clear, concise, and quick. Make it as painless and less awkward as possible.

Hope you like it! Have a lovely day!

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natsukishinomiyaswife · 2 months

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thinking of rolling up to the pool on lifeguard!jamil's shift with one of these bad boys👇

https://www.tumblr.com/sandmandaddy69/748387138527166464?source=share

do you think ill still have a chance with him (delulu) it cud fit 2 people i think if we sit close to eo

Hello Anon! ☆

Thank you so much for your ask, and for your interest in my Scarabia Lifeguard AU! I appreciate it so much ♡

Ahhhhhhh Anon! I didn't even know floats like these existed lol ♡ I think Jamil would have a heart attack if he saw one of these during his shift lol ♡

I can imagine it now...lifeguard Jamil sitting high in his chair, observing the pool area. He looks over towards the deep end and has to do a double take, practically falling out of his chair at the sight of a giant roach in the pool. His heart is beating rapidly, a hand over his chest as he looks closer, realizing it was just a float someone was using. I honestly think he would glare at the person, feeling like it was a personal attack (when it wasn't lol ♡)

In the case of the Reader though...perhaps they get it to tease him, trying to be playful?? ♡

Here's a fic about it (since I couldn't resist lol ♡) Enjoy! ♡

☀︎ Lovebug ☀︎

☀︎ Scarabia Lifeguard AU ☀︎ Oneshot ☀︎ Established Relationship ☀︎

*Please note that this is non-canon to the series! ♡

Jamil looked towards the entrance again, wondering where you were. It was getting late, the pool closing in an hour. You would usually be here by now, swimming in the water or relaxing in the sun. He couldn't help but look whenever someone would enter the pool area, hoping it would be you. Kalim had taken notice, telling him that you were probably just running late, and that he'd let him know if he saw you. Kalim's words eased his mind a bit, knowing that he shouldn't expect you everyday.

He can't help it though, having gotten used to your presence. How you would wave at him as soon as you entered, a smile on your face. How you would sit close to his chair, always on his side and never on Kalim's. The talks you would have, the games you would play. He wouldn't say it out loud, but he looks forward to coming to work now, knowing he'd get to see you.

His head snaps up as he notices someone enter, his features softening when he sees it's you. He waits until you look up, your eyes meeting as you wave, a small smile coming to his face. He takes his time climbing down his chair, reaching the ground as soon as you stood beside it.

He's so focused on you that he doesn't even notice Kalim, the white haired man placing a hand on his shoulder with a laugh. "Look, they're here! I told you they were just running late!"

Kalim's statement causes your eyebrow to raise, looking at Jamil curiously. The tips of his ears turn red as he elbows Kalim in the side, looking away for a moment. "Ignore him."

You look at the two of them fondly as Kalim rubs his side, doing his best to laugh it off. He can tell that Jamil wants to be alone with you, saying it was nice seeing you before walking back to his chair.

As Kalim leaves, Jamil spots the bag you brought, much bigger than the bag you would normally bring. He looks at you curiously, wondering if this was the reason you were late. You notice where his eyes were and smile, doing your best to sound innocent.

"I bought a new float today." You inform him, placing your bag on a nearby sun chair to take it out. You ask him to turn around as you blow it up, wanting it to be a surprise. His eyebrows raise at your request, wondering what you were up to as he turns, crossing his arms.

"Ok, you can look now." You tell him, holding the float in front of you. As soon as he turns he jumps, taking a few steps back as a horrified look comes to his face. You peek out from behind the cockroach float and laugh at his reaction, watching as his expression turned neutral, not amused.

"Ha ha, very funny. Don't expect me to save you if you fall off it in the pool" He teased, turning around as he hears you gasp.

"You don't mean that." you tell him, nudging his shoulder as you move to stand beside him. The teasing smile on your face causes his heart to beat a little faster, fighting the urge to smile (and failing).

"Wanna lay on it with me?" you ask, already knowing the answer.

"No" he responds immediately, firm in his decision.

"I guess I'll have to ask Kalim then..." you tease, pretending to walk away as you look over your shoulder at him.

"..." He sighs, shaking his head before walking ahead of you. "...only for a few minutes, and I expect you to get rid of it when you leave"

A smile comes to your face as you agree, moving to catch up with him. You don't tell him that Kalim had taken a picture, giving it to you in secret the next time you came to the pool. The picture showed you and Jamil on the cockroach float, resting in the middle of the pool. He was laying on his back as you laid on his chest, your eyes closed as you relaxed in the sun.

The picture made you smile, cherishing it as you thanked him. Who knew a float you bought as a joke, could lead to such fond memories ♡

Series Taglist (If you wish to be tagged, please let me know! ♡):

@crystallizsch, @0honeybones0, @midnightmah07, @cheerleaderman, @selfinserttothestars

@littlepenguinheart, @ven4t1c4l, @hartwyrm, @diodellet

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾! ♡

#♡.sheep answers #♡.sheep writes #♡.twst #♡.jamil viper #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader #jamil x reader #scarabia

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starryriize · 8 months

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OMG I JUST READ UR EUNSEOK DELULU THOUGHTS HAVE U MADE ONE FOR SUNGCHAN YET 😭 I LOVE SUNGCHAN HE MAKES ME HAVE BABY FEVER AND I DON'T LIKE THAT LMAO FBSKDN pls make both him and reader animal lovers and no babies/marriage pls ;-;

delulu thoughts | sungchan

a/n: duly noted, nonnie! no babies or marriage in this one😌 i will say…animal lover channie is so real!! okay okay i really hope you enjoy this love

☆ the type to send you animal videos while you're in class!! adds a message like "should we get one? we should. yes." and you're just sitting staring at it 🤨😭😌 (questioning, wondering, acceptance)

☆ one day, he comes home with a puppy and you're gushing at how cute and small the puppy is! y'all name it something super common but give the dog a very different middle name🥹

☆ walks!! walks with you as he holds your hand! walks with you and your dog! he loves spending his mornings with you, regardless of his schedule (he always has time for you)

☆ teaches you to dance!! would hype you so much for literally getting one step of the dance right and saying he's proud of you 🫶🏼

☆ takes you to the zoo and you both gush over how cute the penguins are! you both also love the elephants, the seals, the birds, and well, all the animals :) he would take lots of pictures of you and buy matching lion keychains for the two of you!! (brings you back again to the zoo at night because the whole zoo is lit up like a fairground)

☆ doesn't mind spending money on you or taking more time off his schedule to be with you! his love for you knows no bounds so he'd do anything for you. 🫶🏼

☆ you're his sunflower! he thinks you're like the sunshine in his life and that you motivate him whenever you smile at him!! you see him the same way! ahh just the sweetest

☆ "i made your favorite coffee for you" and "but you have work." type of relationship!! no matter what time he has to go to work, he will wake up before you and make you a coffee or your favorite drink :( he'd add a little note saying that he loves you and hopes you have an amazing day! 🥹🫶🏼

☆ the kind of relationship that you only thought existed in the social media world and in movies! he values you and trusts you with his whole heart, so best believe, all arguments will be resolved with time and communication!!

☆ thinks that all his accomplishments are also yours! 😭 finds a way to put you into every award speech he has, even pretend awards. "i truly wouldn't be here without the love and support of the love of my life at home. darling, you're the reason that i'm on this stage right now." or something along those lines. 🫶🏼😌

☆ going back to dates, you never drive! you're his passenger princess, his precious cargo!! plus he knows you like it when he drives with one hand 🤭 lets you sleep in the car and control the music though 🧚🏼‍♀️

☆ cuddles with your pets while watching movies!! he loves having you in his arms with your pets at the edge of the couch! thinks it's cute how quickly you fall asleep when you're in his arms

#laur’s thoughts 🧚🏼‍♀️#riize imagines #riize fluff #riize x reader #riize scenarios #riize soft hours #riize sungchan

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erwinsvow · 6 months

Note

would rafe be toxic with shy!reader? like say she decided to get really dolled up from him and when he picks her up to go to a party or maybe on a date he’s like who are you getting dolled up for tf??? or is he not really like that with her or if he is toxic with shy!reader, would you share what kind of toxic he’d be?

this made me feel things.. first of all YES. he is toxic but a little different, i don't think a drabble would accurately describe this dynamic so im gonna talk about it instead im sorry !

i think he is toxic but it's more about protecting her, like not letting her go places alone because she's gonna let ppl walk over her. the toxic part is like kind of instilling it in her that she needs to be reliant on him for protection which she ofc eats up since thats her vibe imo

i do think he maybe doesn't realize the extent of her personality sometimes, to me she's not really a party girl but she makes an effort for him. the scenario you described is so real! she would get dolled up for him and he's thinking like she hates parties... who is she tryna impress.. but it all works out, shy reader doesnt have an argumentative bone in her body, shes an apologetic angel. she doesn't lie to rafe either so sometimes there is no reason to be toxic to her, she just listens to everything rafe says without much of a problem at all <3 this mind sound delulu (haters stay away) but i can understand from her pov it's nice to not have to worry and think about just trust in rafe <33 she likes it that way

i think she also teaches him to be more trusting and since she would never so much as look at another guy much less talk (unlike kook trio reader my beloved) he doesnt have much reason to be toxic either. i think theyre not healthy at all i mean its fucked in its own way, but they're beyond happy so <3

i will say shy reader is the one kelce & top and even ward is like rafe... you better not be mistreating her... srsly...

hes like shut up she calls me dad in and out of the bedroom and likes getting choked out and slapped around u don't know shit abt her

#i love you.#i love you i love you thank you for asking this!#youre just the best i hope you enjoyed this rambly little answer <3 #📮 asks #shy reader

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redara · 6 months

Text

And Your Voice Was All I Heard

Pairings: Union of Light Bi-Han/Áila Havarôr Ratings: Mature Words: 6.990 TW: depiction and mention of abuse, blood, torture Summary: Post-MK1. Áila realizes the Lin Kuei is steering away from their purpose. She needs to escape the compound and return to Liu Kang in the Wu Shi Academy before the Grandmaster finds out what she's doing, for the price for treachery is death.

A/N: also posted on AO3. Áila is the OC of @tazahan and this fic is based on her work:

The bell rings.

Áila follows her peers – the group of Lin Kuei warriors – rushing to the main hall to attend the call for the urgent meeting. She is dreading the worst; it’s difficult to think of anything positive at this moment, not since the Grandmaster returned, alone and injured, and declared his two brothers as traitors. It’s the hot talk of the barracks; Scorpion and Smoke had defied order; they had attacked Sub-Zero and left him by the outer outpost of the Lin Kuei’s territory. Search parties have been assigned since then, and while it was fruitful, Scorpion and Smoke have fled Arctika.

Then, Sub-Zero suddenly announced that the Lin Kuei will not answer to Fire God Liu Kang or the Wu Shi Academy anymore.

Truth be told, Áila is confused with the whole ordeal. A part of her is telling her to trust the Grandmaster, yet deep inside she knows there is more to the story than what has been told. There must be a greater reason why Scorpion and Smoke forsook their oath and left the clan – either there is one reason, or she is still in denial, like any other Lin Kuei.

The main hall is already full of neatly lined warriors; Áila falls into formation, scanning the room. Tension is high, mixing with a variety of emotion – confusion, anger, anxiety, mixing as one. Hushed chatters being exchanged, questioning the reason for their assembly, questioning if it has something to do with the runaway brothers. Until the grand door opens, and the hall falls silent.

Walking into the room is the Grandmaster himself, dressed in his usual blue uniform. The lack of yellow and gray warriors who’d tail behind him is a new sight, one that makes Áila’s heart clench. Instead, there is a trail of ice following his footsteps, crackling, disappearing after a second. The torches of the hall sways as he comes in proximity. He takes his stand and looks down at his warriors; anger flashes in his usually stern gaze in the form of the warm fiery lights of the hall; the hardened feature of his face lets it be known how serious he is tonight, that whatever he is about to say will be of the utmost importance.

“I shall keep this brief,” he opens, his deep voice cuts the silence with such authority, echoing against the stone walls, “for as I am speaking, the two traitors have settled in Japan and built a clan to fight against ours. Carve this name in your mind: The Shirai Ryu; for mercy shall not be given to them or their allies.”

Sub-Zero paces slowly. “For centuries, the Lin Kuei have stood loyally by Earthrealm; our ancestors have kept the peace and protected the masses without recognition. We have stood, leashed to ridiculous rules set by Liu Kang, for no reason but to hold us back. You,” he waves his hand in a general direction, startling a line of warriors, “have trained and learned all your lives. Yet when the time calls, you have witnessed Liu Kang picking unworthy fighters to be tested against your might – a test of which you must fail. You have witnessed your brethren be sent off to fight by the demand of the Fire God; how little the number of those who returned, and our name remains unseen in the grand history of the world.

“Centuries of hard work, dedication, and loyalty… Would you like to know what the other Realms call us?”

His nose scrunches up in disgust as he continues.

“‘Liu Kang’s lapdogs’.”

The deafening silence is replaced by a cacophony of gasps. The tension breaks into a unified anger and hushed protest. Áila tries to remain composed – no, no, it’s not true… Liu Kang trusts the Lin Kuei, in fact, he talks of them highly. There is no way he would let anyone belittle the Lin Kuei.

But the Grandmaster carries on, collecting the newfound disappointment of his Lin Kuei warriors towards the Fire God, “No more shall our name be wiped from history. I vowed to you that we shall be known throughout the Realms. A clan – a nation – of which others will fear and respect –”

What is happening? No, no, this is not –

“Never again shall we be shackled by Liu Kang and his tyranny. We shall stand on our own, not for Liu Kang, not for Earthrealm –”

Áila internally begs the Grandmaster to stop. This is madness… He is declaring war against Liu Kang and Earthrealm – against his own brothers!

He clenches his fist and raises it high, “For the Lin Kuei!”

Áila watches helplessly as fists are raised in the air – the decision has been made, the future of the Lin Kuei has been set – and her heart begs her to scream, only capable of hearing the warriors all around her chanting out their loyal reply to their Grandmaster.

“For the Lin Kuei!”

***

With each passing day, the Lin Kuei begin to undergo plenty of changes. For one, the Engineering Department is more active than usual; the sound of metals and tools screeches out of their workshop, day and night; tons of materials being sent in, raising curiosity of what they are used for.

Áila grows wary. The lack of information from inside and outside of the compound is making her anxious. She wishes she could contact her father and ask if their clan, the Sól Eldur, is aware of what is happening, but communication with the outside world is very limited. Her guts are telling her to run away, run to the Wu Shi, and join them, but… what if Sub-Zero is right, and Liu Kang has been ruling Earthrealm under his tyranny, and Scorpion and Smoke are truly traitors?

Gods… the need to find the truth on her own is itching her mind. It doesn’t help that this afternoon, a fellow warrior dropped a hint that only makes the itch worse.

“Do not quote me on this, but I think our Grandmaster is building an army,” said the curly warrior to the masked warrior who was sitting across from Áila, “because I saw plenty of body armor in the workshop – not your usual armor, mind you, these are full metal, with cables and tubes, a very complicated design.”

The masked warrior frowned, “You mean he’s building an armored suit for us?”

“No, an army. Mechanized army. Well, granted, I only saw them briefly when I had to deliver some paperworks, but I know what I saw.”

“That is a bit of a stretch. It can be anything –”

“And I might have overheard Sektor talking to Cyrax about needing a new mathematical model for the brain. Come on, why would they need one if they’re making armors?”

So now here Áila is, sneaking into the heavily guarded workshop, internally regretting her decisions by the second. There might not be anything of importance here, and she’s risking her life for nothing, but she knows she has to do at least something; at the very least she should see what Sub-Zero and his engineers are making.

It is eerie. The smell of molten metal lingers in the air, mixing with a hint of rust, of singed materials, and dampness. Áila tiptoes through the hallway, passing a few doors, hiding from security cameras, until she finally reaches the inner workspace, and –

By the Elder Gods….

Tall, skeletal, humanoid creatures made of metal are lining up in the workspace; one is laid on the workbench with an open chest, displaying a mess of cables and tubes and gears. What should be their faces are nothing but a jumble of unfinished circuitry. Approaching warily, Áila can see some sharp blades on another workbench, they are equipped with weapons? But before she can observe them in detail, a voice startles her.

“-- more time, Bi-Han, or would you risk injuries to the Lin Kuei?”

Without missing a beat, Áila slithers towards a stack of crates. She hears footsteps – the unmistakable pace of the Grandmaster, followed by a more hurried one – and soon she can see the owners approaching. Sub-Zero appears first; his maskless face is seemingly stuck in a scowl; Sektor is following behind him as if trying to get him to stop.

“I understand you want the Cybers to be ready soon, but this – all of this – is something beyond our calibers, but, Cyrax’s team is still figuring out the math. It is paramount –”

“-- for everyone’s safety. Have you no other reason to say?” Sub-Zero finally stops, and he looks around the workspace, until he settles on the metallic body on the bench. He heaves a long sigh, tensed shoulders slumping with the motion. “With the days we are losing, we are one step behind the Shirai Ryu, and they are already on our doorstep –”

BANG.

Áila tries not to flinch when Sub-Zero punches the metal workbench with his bare fist, creating a dent and sharp icicles that spread; Sektor takes a step backwards, jaws clenching. Sub-Zero continues, “Kuai Liang keeps sending his dogs to sniff around our borders, and you are giving me nothing but scraps! Are you that incompetent, Sektor, that you cannot make one of these move?!”

Sektor stammers, “I – I – I could, I could, but you have to know –”

“What?! Safety again?!”

“-- they’re deadly. Bi-Han, the Cyber Lin Kuei will be capable of destroying a major city in one night. I need to have the additional math for the safety precaution, it is for your own safety as well –”

Sub-Zero interjects again, but Áila has stopped listening; she uses the opportunity to slip by unannounced, tiptoing deeper into the workshop; the voices of those two men are becoming further. Her mind is racing, still trying to wrap itself around this new revelation. So this is what Sub-Zero wants, freeing the Lin Kuei from ‘tyranny’ to subject others to his tyranny?

Her guts win; she has to leave the Lin Kuei.

She stops in front of a closed door of an office with Cyrax’s name etched on the nameplate. The math, she recalls, I need evidence. Liu Kang should know about this… Cautiously, she opens the door; it swings without a sound; and she is met by the sight of an empty office. Three large monitors are on the wall, displaying numbers and documents with intricate writings.

Áila steps inside and closes the door. Immediately, she rushes for the desk, eyes flicking between monitors. The tech is next level, definitely something custom-made by Cyrax, but the interface shows similarity to what Áila knows – and by the Gods, she intends to make it work.

After so many clicks and navigating the menus, she finally finds the email function. Without bothering to change the account, she types the email address of the only person in Wu Shi Academy who is constantly glued to the phone.

Sender: cy.4d4 To: jcage Subject: SOS Johnny, it’s Áila. I don’t have much time, but if you can read this, please get to Liu Kang ASAP. The Lin Kuei is preparing some kind of a robot army dubbed the Cyber Initiative. It’s not functional yet, and I hope it never will be, but they said it would be able to level a city in a day. Details in attachments. I’m leaving tonight. If I don’t make it to the Wu Shi in a week, you know what happened.

Áila drags a few recent files to the email before sending it. She makes sure to remove it from the ‘Sent’ folder as well to remove the trace.

She should take her leave now, yet she stands still, reading the open documents on the monitor, how most of them can’t be sent through the email due to the size of the files. She tears her eyes from the screen for a moment to scan the desk for some kind of a hard drive or a flash drive, something portable to bring a copy of the documents with her. Just her luck, a red flash drive is sitting by a stack of papers.

Each second that she uses to copy the data into the flash drive raises the level of her anxiety. Only when it is completely full and packed that she pulls it out, and tucks it into her uniform, into her breastband, right under the fold of her ample breasts where she knows it would be safe and hidden. The hard part is done, now it’s time to –

The blaring of alarms sends her jumping in place.

The once quiet hallway is now echoing with the incessant ringing and the footsteps of incoming reinforcements, one of them is the familiar heavy pace of the Grandmaster. Áila bolts for a makeshift exit – a window – where she throws herself against the glass and comes out tumbling onto the snowy ground of the Lin Kuei compound. Without looking back, without acknowledging the ache and the burn from the small scrapes, she takes long strides and runs.

“THERE!”

“GET HER!”

Shoutings of orders. Crunching snow under their soles. The biting wind whistling in Áila’s ears. She manages to cross the courtyard, dodging a handful of guards. The gate is just right ahead, still opened, unguarded –

A net suddenly collides with her side and envelopes her – what is – when it suddenly shocks her is what gets her to fall. Áila can’t react much when her muscles contract and spasm involuntarily, she can only lie on the snowy courtyard, body jerking against her will. The pain begins to form, then the dread takes over when she realizes this is the end; the footsteps are coming closer; the exit is still further away; Sub-Zero’s boots come to her view, colliding with her face – Áila yelps as pain blooms on the bridge of her nose.

“Well done, Cyrax.” His praise comes out under a heavy breath.

“ Hah , I knew that would come in handy.” A tall Lin Kuei appears next to Sub-Zero, wearing a mechanized vambrace. He presses a button, and the shocking stops; Áila pants aloud, feeling light-headed when her muscles are finally relaxing. “Ah? I think I’ve seen her before. The Carrot-Hair woman from the Wu Shi Academy, right?”

Sub-Zero moves the net away – Áila jerks away from his touch – and his icy hand grabs her around the neck, bringing her face closer to him. He rips her mask with another hand, baring her broken and bloody nose to view. “ Tch , Áila Hávarôr. I should have known you’re in league with Liu Kang. Planning a little mutiny on your own, hmm?”

“N-no –” Áila grits her teeth to stop them from chattering.

Cyrax scoffs, “Still has the audacity to lie. I know you sent something from my office, did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

The grip around her neck tightens, “Is that so?”

Áila repeats, “No…”

“Liar.” Sub-Zero lifts her off the ground, rendering her clawing at his vambrace for purchase, as she feels her lungs burning from the lack of air. She tries kicking him, only to be replied by a firmer grip that darkens her vision.

“Aren’t you going to kill her?” She hears the muffled voice of Cyrax.

Sub-Zero chuckles darkly, “A swift death is not what this harlot deserves. But by the time I’m finished with her, she will be begging for it.”

***

Crimson blooms through the tear of Áila’s blue uniform. Clutching her stomach, she hisses, hunching over as she hobbles backwards; her thighs are shaking, trying to stay balanced while standing on the icy floor. Her vision is clouded by the blood that’s streaming down her crown, that no matter how many times she wipes it until her vambrace is drenched, she can’t remove it. The sight of Sub-Zero, blue and red, approaching her again at a rapid speed –

Áila lifts an arm to block whatever attack is coming. Her defense is futile, and her torso is met by the sole of his boot, kicking her backwards until she finally falls again.

Sub-Zero coos in a cynical tone, “Is that all you’re capable of? Pathetic. You dare wearing our uniform and displaying such weakness.”

Áila rolls over, pushing herself off the floor. She can hear him approaching again, and before she knows it, pain shoots up her side from where he suddenly kicks her. He grabs her hair, pulling her off the floor – hurts… she cries out, angry tears blurring out her sight, as he forces her to look at him.

“Not killing Kuai Liang and Tomas when I had the chance was a mistake, one that I don’t intend to repeat. Another traitor shall not be unpunished! Look at me!” He growls, voice ringing aloud in her ears. A snarl replaces his scowl. “A weakling like you is only good for two things: a bed warmer or a training dummy. So tell me, which one is it?”

The coldness in Sub-Zero’s eyes makes Áila wonder if he is truly the man she used to respect. It disgusts her to think she once admired his discipline and leadership. Her stomach turns at the thought that the Lin Kuei see this inhuman cryomancer and still choose to serve him. Is this what Scorpion and Smoke saw? Is this why they left him?

Shaking with rage and fear, Áila chooses not to answer him.

Her silence is taken as disobedience, and though it gives her a sense of victory – seeing his control snaps and he growls in frustration – the moment is short-lived. He lets her go with a hard shove, and in return, he grabs the wrist of her right hand, and twists it to her back.

“AHH!” Áila screams, feeling the stretch of her muscle mixing with the burn of the cuts she earned from his ice dagger. She can feel the tension of her bones warning her of their unnatural position. She tries to move to alleviate the pain, but Sub-Zero keeps her in place.

“Filthy harlot, your Grandmaster asked you a question.” His voice joins her cries, and soon, his ice dagger joins the conversation as well; Áila yawps, hoarse and painfully, as the sharp edge is dragged slowly against her skin, following the length of her arm. Her free hand grips her uniform tightly, trying to channel the pain. Her legs are kicking, thighs spasming.

The blade presses deeper, “No – no, please –”

“Oh? Now you have manners?” Sub-Zero drags the blade higher. The cold burns and numbing, but when it melts, the pain doubles. “Tell me what you want.”

Áila hisses, shaking her head, “S-stop… Sto – Ngh !” Sub-Zero presses his thumb into a fresh cut.

“Mind your place, you lying harlot.”

“Grandmast – Grandmaster, please stop!”

A deep, devilish laugh echoes in the room. “Say you're sorry, and I might consider stopping.”

“I’m sor – I’m sorry!” This time it is not the blade that hurts her the most, it’s the tight grip around her wrist, threatening to twist it. Her whole body shakes with disgust as she cries, “Forgi – forgive me! Please! I won’t – please! AAAH!”

A crack, followed by the numbing pain shooting up her now-broken wrist up to her heavily wounded arm, and Áila knows her fate has been sealed. Sub-Zero finally releases her, and though she can’t see him, she can hear his victorious chortle as he watches her lying on the floor, too scared to move. He turns her around with a kick; now she can see him towering over her, with wisp of cold dancing behind him, freezing the air.

“ That is one. I shall break every single bone in your body, a day at a time, until you can do nothing but wriggle like the worm you are. Only then shall I reunite you with your family,” he crouches down. Áila jolts away when his fingertips meet her neck. He clicks his tongue, “Better fix your expression for the joyous occasion, for your father shall receive your head in a pretty box.”

***

Áila leans against the bar of her prison. Her hoarse breathing is loud in the otherwise empty dungeon. She cradles her hand to her chest, how swollen her broken wrist has become in mere hours. Her strength is dwindling down, and it terrifies her, for she knows when she is awake, she would have to face the same treatment again. There will be no winning against Sub-Zero, especially not in her injured state.

His voice… The threat lingers in her mind that she wants to cry aloud, for she knows he will go through with it. She can’t imagine it, her father opening a box and seeing her severed head. Her heart breaks for the potential future; if the Cyber Initiative has been completed, no one will be safe from the Lin Kuei; she fears even the Earthrealm Champions would have no chance to win against an army of destruction.

Something is poking her chest. At first, she thinks it must be one of her ribs, probably a broken one that she wasn’t aware of. But it’s small, and rectangular – the flash drive.

There is a chance.

Despite feeling ready to keel over, she forces herself to stand up; there is no way she would die in the enemy territory, dressed in the uniform that doesn’t bring her pride; her blood is not Lin Kuei, never has been, never will be. The power of the sun runs in her, the blessings of her ancestors, the Sol Eldur clan; it sings in her heart, guiding her to do what is right. Now, she needs to stay strong a little while longer.

Áila raises her hand over the lock of her cell. The cold metal won’t budge yet . She closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath, so deep that her whole body trembles when her chest expands; the cuts on her torso sting from the action. Her father’s guidance comes to mind.

“Breathe in… And out… Good, do you feel that? There is a heat in your belly, and it expands to your chest. Let it spread, my dear, it’s fine, I promise. The next part is going to be tricky, are you ready? …Very good. Do you remember when we went fishing and you caught your first trophy? Lots of reeling, it was exhausting, right? You wanted to give me the rod because your arms felt like they were about to fall off, but I told you to keep going, because I know you got it. And you did!

Remember how happy you were? Yeah, you do? This is going to be like one of those moments. When you need strength, I want you to remember the good times we had. I want you to remember the things you’ve accomplished by being who you are… That’s it. Oh you feel the energy now? That’s it, my dear, let it take over, it’s going to be alright.”

There is a loud pulse accompanying the beat of her heart. It ebbs and flows like the waves her ancestors used to conquer. It’s warm and light like sitting by a campfire after a long windy day. It overwhelms her senses. At first, she can only see the dark, but it gradually becomes brighter, a glow, like the first ray of sun breaking the night. The more she breathes, the brighter her world has become. The pulse is snapping, ready to burst, ready to lash out like the solar storm against the cold, dark space.

And she lets it.

She cares not what she hears or feels – the cracks of metal, the crumbling of stone, the intense heat against her skin – she feels safe. Her heart tells her to open her eyes, and she does, seeing the bars of her cell bending outwards and the stone floor and walls are partially destroyed, still burning red. Her heart tells her to run, and she bolts, not caring for her injuries or the dungeon she is leaving. Her heart tells her to go one way, and she follows, the cold wind fails to caress her skin.

Her heart tells her not to look back, and she does not, until the ground is replaced by snow, until there is no more light, until the shadows of the trees are merging with the dark night, until it’s only her and moonlight, until the adrenaline has stopped pumping throughout her bloodstream that she begins to feel everything.

Áila inhales the cold air of freedom. The snow reaches up to her knees, seeping into her boots, making her bones ache. She persists, one step at a time, not caring if she is going the wrong way as long as she is going further away from the Lin Kuei compound. If what Sub-Zero said is true, then the Shirai Ryu might still be lingering around the borders of Arctika. She just has to find them.

She doesn’t know if her body is cold because of the snow, or because of the loss of blood and adrenaline; if she is still moving or she is kneeling on the ground; if the darkness is because of the night or because she has closed her eyes. She doesn’t know if she’s hearing the howling of the wind or the wolves or the dogs. She doesn’t know if she is still alive or stuck in a dream; if she opens her eyes, will she still find darkness or the face of Sub-Zero? But she does know the feel of the flash drive pressing against her chest, and it gives her a little bit of hope that whether she is alive or dead by the time the Shirai Ryu find her, the truth will still outlive her.

It’s going to be alright… It’s going to be…

***

The smell of agarwood incense permeating in the air rouses Áila awake. At first, it is faint, and she believes she is dreaming. Then she begins to feel the warmth, how stable it is as if she has been tucked under a blanket and the fireplace is roaring. Her eyelids are fluttering, blurry vision seeing a tall, dark red ceiling, with yellow lanterns hanging. She blinks repeatedly, where am I…?

She hears a movement to her left, and she turns to the source. Someone is moving behind a dark red partition; the sound of mortar and pestle, the clinking of glass, the pour of water, makes her realize that they are brewing something. The smell of a familiar tea assaults her senses, she knows that smell, can already taste it in her mouth – that is Madam Bo’s special brew .

Áila sits up gingerly. There is indeed a blanket covering her body – her bandaged body; someone has taken their time to clean her up and cover each and every cut she has. Her broken wrist is wrapped by a thick bandage and placed in a sling that’s hanging from the ceiling. She looks around the room; there is no mistaking it, this is the Wu Shi Academy. The smell is the same as she remembers. The interiors are what she is familiar with, all of the dark red and gold ornaments, wooden instead of stone. It seems her action had not been in vain; perhaps the Shirai Ryu had found her and taken her here – at least that’s what she hopes had happened, because she can’t feel the flash drive poking her chest anymore, and she hopes it didn’t fall out and be left in Arctika.

The person behind the partition has finished brewing the tea. Áila wants to call for them, wondering if it’s Madam Bo herself, but she chooses to wait. She watches eagerly as the person walks out carrying a tray of teacups and a teapot –

But her eagerness dwindles down upon seeing the light blue uniform. Her heart sinks into the pit of her stomach when she sees his face framed by the same shade of dark brown hair and the loose strands. His eyes meet hers, a genuine surprise, and his mouth moves to speak; the same deep, raspy voice comes out, and all that she can hear is the threat.

“I shall break every single bone in your body, a day at a time, until you can do nothing but wriggle like the worm you are.”

Áila shakes uncontrollably, no, this is not real… This is cruel, a mind game, exposing her to a sense of security only to show how wrong she is. She has to get out – she jumps out of the bed, and her legs immediately give away, causing her to fall right onto the wooden floor. Panic poisons her blood as she hears him making a move, placing the tray on the table, and his heavy footsteps come approaching. She pulls herself to move as well, but his boots are already in her peripheral vision, and she tenses, scrambling, clawing away like a defeated animal. The pain in her wrist jogs her memory, reminding her of the unbearable stretch, and her fear grows tenfold at the possibility of it happening again.

“Please no –” she curls on the floor, head bowing down, forehead kissing the wood, “-- Grandmaster, plea – please – I’m sor – sorry. I’m sorry… I’m –” She hiccups, already feeling too hard to breathe. But she persists, not wanting to take any chances of being seen as disobedient again by Sub-Zero. Her cries come out in desperate huffs of breath. “I beg – I beg of you… Grand – Grandmaster… I’m sorr –” she flinches when he takes a step forward, and already she can tell he is going to grab her by the head again, “ Mercy! Mercy! Please! Mercy!”

The door swings open – he’s bringing the guards – and a large hand makes contact with the back of her head, but the familiar voice is what gets her to look up, “Áila!”

Áila’s eyes are widening upon seeing the face of Liu Kang. This… This can’t – why is he here with Sub-Zero? She suspects foul play, but Liu Kang pulls her up from the floor with such gentleness and warmth, and there is remorse in his eyes, and she knows he is truly the Fire God, and she is safe. She clutches his shirt, her cries come out without restraint; tears can’t stop streaming down her face when he helps her get onto the bed again.

More familiar faces come into the room; Raiden, Johnny, Kung Lao, and Kenshi, the Earthrealm Champions. Following behind them are none other but the yellow and gray-clad warriors. “S-Scorpion? Smoke?” Áila rasps.

“Those are not our titles anymore. You can call us by name.” Kuai Liang scans her from top to toe. His expression hardens, sadness is evident in his eyes. “Did… Did my brother do this to you?”

Áila glances towards the light-blue-clad Sub-Zero in the room; he stands in place as if petrified, as if he is not the Sub-Zero they are talking about right now.

Thankfully, Liu Kang intercepts, “I think it is best for me to explain to you what happened. Everyone, please leave the room for now, give her some space.” One by one, the familiar faces are taking their leave, but not before giving Áila a sympathetic gaze. Sub-Zero, however, remains standing in place, until Liu Kang calls him. “Bi-Han, please, give us a moment.”

“Of course.” Sub-Zero replies without hesitation, even bowing down a bit before he begins to walk away. Áila follows his movement, still wary. He stops at the threshold, and with an expression full of remorse, his eyes meet hers, devoid of cold. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

And he closes the door.

***

“Don’t take it to heart, Bi-Han, it’s not your fault.”

Bi-Han glances at Kuai Liang – not his Kuai Liang, but he shares the same features that remind him of his brother, even the scar. This timeline still gives him whiplash where he is least expecting it. “Generally speaking, it is still my fault.”

“Bi-Han – our Bi-Han – did it, not you. It’s a pity, his obsession has driven him mad; I can’t believe he would stoop this low. Wounding me is one thing, it was a warning, but I should have realized it was only a matter of time before he lashed out on someone else.”

“At least Áila survives.” Tomas tries to sound positive.

“Barely. The scouts found her half-frozen in the tundra. If they were too late, the Sol Eldur would be building her funeral pyre.” Kuai Liang sighs heavily.

Bi-Han frowns, “The Sol Eldur, is that her family?”

“Her clan, yes. The last time I spoke to them, they were fortifying their village in case the Lin Kuei would ambush them first; I’m not sure if her father can come here when his presence is still needed there.” Kuai Liang sighs again. “But thanks to her, we now know what Bi-Han is planning. Forgive us; the Lin Kuei in this timeline must have stained the name of your Lin Kuei.”

They don’t exchange another word, as Kuai Liang walks away followed by Tomas, seemingly to lament their brother privately. Bi-Han remains standing, watching the life of the garden of the Wu Shi Academy, with a thousand conflicting thoughts running in his mind. He knows it was not him who wounded Áila to such an extent that she fears the sight of him, but the shame and the guilt still weigh on his heart; it is his name, his title, his face – it is him, but not truly him .

He recalls the night when Johnny barged into the meeting with phone in hand, “Guys! You’re gonna want to see this!” he had said, and he read the email sent by Áila. Kuai Liang took charge of the Shirai Ryu scouts to scour the tundra and the mountains. Even the blind swordsman, Kenshi, insisted on going, believing his ancestors could help as well.

At that time, Bi-Han thought what a remarkable person Áila must be, to be within the walls of the Lin Kuei, and still tried to reach out. Her action earned his respect, that at the moment, he innerly prayed to the Elder Gods to see her safety so he can meet this warrior for once.

But he was not expecting to see her being brought in on a stretcher.

She was blue and red, frozen and bloodied, that everyone believed she had been dead. The extensive injuries she sustained were a clear tell that she had been tortured, or beaten up within an inch of her life. Liu Kang had used his power to thaw her just enough to get her blood to run again, and then the monks took her to be cleaned up and patched.

And though no one is pointing fingers at him, Bi-Han knows this is his counterpart’s doing.

The door to Áila’s room is opened – Bi-Han turns to it – and Liu Kang walks out alone. He offers a small apologetic smile as he approaches Bi-Han. “Are you alright?”

Bi-Han returns the question, “Is she alright?”

“She will be. I have explained the situation, though she might need time to process everything. Please do not think you are in the wrong here. Neither of us anticipated this behavior from Sub-Zero.”

“I should have.”

“No, you shouldn’t.” Liu Kang hums. “This Sub-Zero is not you, Bi-Han, you can’t expect to understand what he will do next. Our timelines may share similar people with similar lives, but that is where the similarity ends.”

Bi-Han feels his jaws tensing. There is a pull in his heart, tugging at his heartstring, when he remembers Áila’s reaction to seeing him; her expression of pure anguish is still fresh in his mind. “She begged for mercy… Three times, she did, I…” He huffs a cold puff of air, feeling rage forming in his chest at the image of Áila begging Sub-Zero to stop but he carried on nonetheless. What kind of a monster has he become? Bi-Han shakes his head. “Can I… Can I see her?”

Liu Kang shrugs. “Usually I’d tell you to give her time, but this depends on you. Are you strong enough to face her again?” He doesn’t wait for an answer when he adds, “I hope the two of you can find peace in this time of conflict.”

***

The pot of tea on the table is untouched, despite the smell beckoning Áila for a taste. She wants to, she truly does, but the fact remains that the tea was prepared by Sub-Zero – and though Liu Kang has explained extensively of what happened, of how this ‘Bi-Han’ is not the Sub-Zero who nearly maimed her wrist, she is wary nonetheless. She sits still on the bed, trying to quell her thoughts and senses, telling herself that she is safe now, that she is alright, that Sub-Zero will not go through with his threat of sending her head in a box. Her rapid heartbeat is slowing down. Her welling tears have dried.

Then the door slides open, and Áila sees him again.

Their eyes lock at each other for a moment. Her gaze is of fear, but his is of remorse, a palpable guilt. He stands unmoving by the door, which she is thankful for, because her body has begun shaking on its own.

“Bi-Han.” He breaks the silence, voice purposefully made a bit higher than the usual deep raspy tone. “Please call me ‘Bi-Han’. You do not need to call me by any titles. I am neither of those in your timeline.” He pauses, thin lips tensing and relaxing as if he is tasting the words he would utter. “Would you like some tea?”

Áila glances between him and the teapot. The idea of the Grandmaster serving her tea is wild – no, this is not the Grandmaster, this is Bi-Han . She shakes her head, “Are you really not Sub-Zero?”

“I am Sub-Zero, but ,” he hastily adds when she flinches, “I am not of your timeline. In my timeline, I am also Sub-Zero, and the Grandmaster. But I can assure you, I am not like him .”

She can see how genuine he is, how he seems borderline desperate to distance himself from the Sub-Zero she knows. But her body and mind are acting on their own, as tears begin to well up in her eyes again, and they roll down her cheeks when she blinks. “I’m sorry – I know you’re not him , but you look alike, and I – I don’t know…”

“I could change my attire if it makes you more comfortable.”

“No, you’re – you’re already dressed differently.”

“Oh? Is Sub-Zero not wearing blue in your timeline?”

“Not in the same shade as yours.” Áila forces herself to relax. She cradles her wrist tightly, hugging herself to feel more at ease. “Liu Kang said you crossed the timeline to lend him your aid.”

“Liu Kang spoke too highly of me; I’m merely doing my part to help. Sub-Zero needs to be stopped before he destroys Earthrealm – given the information you brought, he is already planning to do it.” Bi-Han takes one step forward, a tentative action, and he looks at Áila as if asking for her permission. She nods, and he approaches quietly; the footsteps are softer, quieter, calculated for her. “I’m here to thank you, Áila. If it’s not for you, we would still be in the dark of what the Lin Kuei are planning. This gives us time to be better prepared.”

“I’m only doing what I’m supposed to do in the first place.” Áila lowers her gaze to the wooden floor – calm down, calm down, calm down. He’s not Sub-Zero. He’s not going to hurt you. It’s going to be alright – “Perhaps I should have done it earlier before they assembled the Cybers, but I –” she closes her eyes when she can see his boots entering her view, “-- I was in denial. I didn’t know which side I should support. Too weak. Too late. I should have known Sub-Zero was wrong when he drove his brothers away. When he –”

The memory flashes behind her eyelids. How Sub-Zero had dragged her to the dungeon by the neck. How he had goaded her to fight him. How, with every cut he made and the punch he landed, Áila slowly lost her hope to survive. At one point, she lost consciousness, and was woken up by the cold tip of the ice blade pressing against her cheek. The flooding memory is too much, breath turning ragged as if she is back in the dungeon trying to breathe the air that Sub-Zero had knocked out of her lungs.

Áila feels a warm hand pressing against her thigh. She opens her eyes, but the tears have blurred her vision. She can see a blurry light blue crouching beside her; she blinks until she sees Bi-Han in close proximity. Yet for once, from this close, she can truly see he is not the Grandmaster. There is grief in his eyes, and pain, as if he shares her burden. There is regret and guilt, and she swears those brown eyes are a bit glossy as well.

“You are not weak.” Bi-Han’s voice comes out as a calming whisper. His fingertips meet her wet cheek, interrupting the stream. “Your bravery will be remembered across all Realms.” Áila sees his lower lips slightly tremble. “There’s no need for you to fear me, I’m not the Sub-Zero you knew. You are safe, and I will try in all my power to keep you that way, and I will never, ever, hurt you.”

“Truly?” Áila rasps, barely audibly.

Bi-Han responds, "I give you my words.”

She doesn’t know who breaks first – is it him who pulls her close or is it her who falls to his lap? – but their bodies collide and he cradles her, surrounds her in his strong arms. She is holding onto his light blue gi, grounding herself to his promise. He is holding the back of her head, and yet for once, she does not tense, does not flinch.

There is no sound in the room but their shared, quiet cries.

#bi han #bi han x oc #bi han imagine #sub zero x oc #sub zero imagine #sub zero #mk1 #mortal kombat 1 #fanfic #redarader

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