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𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐘 𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐈𝐍? | chapter six

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: art donaldson x female!reader x patrick zweig 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you’ve always been content being second place to your best friend tashi duncan, waiting for the day you can quit tennis. your world is upended when you meet art and patrick, and you’re forced to embrace a life in the sport you’ve been too afraid to claim for yourself. 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.2k 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): challengers content warnings, swearing, reader is mentioned to be wearing mascara at one point, use of y/n 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

𝐓𝐀𝐔𝐁𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐒 𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘 – 𝐅𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝟏𝟗, 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟕. 𝟏𝟐:𝟐𝟒𝐏𝐌.

Art dropped to the ground, letting his racket clatter to the floor beside him, and groaned loudly. On the other side of the net, you grinned at your boyfriend’s dramatics and shouted, “Get off your ass, Donaldson! This is why Duke wiped the floor with you over the weekend!”

“Fuck off!” Art’s response was half-hearted and bookended by giggles. While the Duke men’s team destroyed the Stanford men’s team two days ago in Chicago, you and Tashi led the women’s team to victory at every tournament that season. “It’s not my fault you’re only serving aces! And then when I’m serving you chase me all around the court, it’s insane! What’s the point of practising with someone you can’t beat?” His complaints were only lighthearted, as he loved that you were good enough to beat him at tennis.

Tashi cackled at that, coming to stand beside you. She had been playing a practice match with a girl on the team for the last two hours and couldn’t keep it together after seeing you annihilate Art for forty minutes. “It means you need practice and Y/I doesn’t,” Tashi yelled across the court at your boyfriend.

“That hurts, Tashi,” Art called out. “What if I had self-esteem issues and you just ruined my love of the game?”

“Then I’d say you’re not good enough for my best friend,” Tashi retorted.

Since you and Art started dating, Tashi enjoyed Art’s company more. Without the competition between him and Patrick for your attention, Art was easy to get along with and made you incredibly happy. Seeing her best friend so overjoyed was enough for Tashi to let Art stick around without any complaints.

“Truth hurts,” you chimed in, teasing Art.

He scoffed, sitting up and pouting. “I’m feeling very vulnerable right now.” His blond curls were sticking to his forehead from the exertion of losing to you. “I only intended to come by to support my precious girlfriend, and then I got roped into a public flagellation. I need my precious girlfriend to comfort me. Immediately.”

“I’ll be over to wipe your tears in a second, Gollum,” you replied, playfully rolling your eyes. You grabbed your water bottle from the side of the court with Tashi. “Men, am I right?”

“They’re the worst.” Tashi nodded in agreement, grinning. “Your serve has gotten incredible, Y/I! I can hardly believe how consistently you’ve been hitting those aces since the season started. You’ve really taken your game to the next level.”

You chuckled, taking a sip of water. “Is this your I-told-you-so speech?” you wondered, knowing Tashi had insisted that you would fall back in love with tennis with the distance between you and your mother.

Tashi smirked. “Why state the obvious when I can just enjoy my victory?” she questioned.

You laughed, bumping her hip and approaching Art on the other side of the court. “Hey, are we still getting lunch after this?” you asked.

The three of you had made plans to catch up during lunch because your schedules had been crazy that quarter. Your classes were different, and between having a steady boyfriend and the tennis season starting, you didn’t see Tashi as often as you wanted to. Of course, you still studied together in the afternoons and hung out in each other’s dorms, but it never felt like you were seeing enough of your best friend. You simultaneously saw Tashi all the time and didn’t spend enough time with her.

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss my dinner party with the Donaldsons,” Tashi teased you, putting on a posh English accent to mock you as you rounded the tennis net with her.

She always joked that you and Art would be the perfect insufferable rich married couple one day, and you always shuddered at the idea. Even though it was a joke, it reminded you too much of your odious mother.

Art had gotten to his feet and was smirking as he packed your tennis bag for you. “Mrs Y/N Donaldson, huh?” he said, kissing your forehead. The corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. You wrapped your arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. “I like the sound of that.”

“Very funny, both of you,” you murmured into Art’s chest. He and Tashi barely made out the words, laughing when they saw how happily you nuzzled your face against his t-shirt. As Art wrapped his arms around you, you felt the warmth of his embrace seep into your skin, his familiar scent enveloping your senses and instantly calming you. “I’m so hungry, let’s hit the showers and get going.”

“Sure thing, angel. Demolishing your boyfriend in the sport he plans to make a living from must really work up an appetite,” Art replied proudly, pleased with your impressive abilities.

Tashi didn’t bother to cover up her snort when you nodded, resting your chin on Art’s chest to grin up at him.

Being with Art was as easy as breathing. In the last four months, he’d become a truly vital part of your life. In the quiet moments between classes, Art walked beside you, his hand gently brushing yours as you strolled through the campus pathways. His presence was a steady anchor, grounding you amidst the chaos of assignments and exams. When you studied together, he let you work uninterrupted, and his unwavering support allowed you to dominate every academic and athletic challenge Stanford threw your way.

Over the winter break, you went against your better judgement and brought Art home with you. While your mother expressed her distaste for a boyfriend who would distract you from tennis, she mostly held her tongue and barely spent time with you that winter. This allowed Art to get to know your father, whose warm approval of him reassured you of your relationship. Knowing your dad saw the same kindness and determination in Art that you did meant everything to you. He was more than a boyfriend; Art had become your confidant, your cheerleader, and the one who made every day brighter with his infectious laugh and genuine care.

It was so easy to fall in love with him.

You were never one for romance and relationships because you never found a guy interesting enough to keep around, but this was different. Rather than a fling or hookup, Art was someone you couldn’t leave behind even if you wanted to. Your relationship with Art had the innocence and excitement of a teenage romance, and you had the security to navigate adult realities together. Both of you had so many responsibilities as scholarship students, and – in the absence of the wealth and privilege of your home – you had become mature and independent.

“Alright, I think I’m going to throw up,” Tashi complained, finally breaking the heavy tension that crackled in the air between you and Art. “Let’s get ready for lunch.”

With your and his tennis bags hanging from his shoulder, he gently squeezed your hand, enjoying how your friendship bracelets adorned your wrists. His had Y/N ❤️ on it, while yours said ART ❤️ with an identical pattern. Tashi didn’t mind that Art was included in your tradition of making friendship bracelets, especially because she thought it spoke highly of him that he always made some for you. As long as Art remained utterly mesmerised by you, Tashi would let him do whatever he wanted to make you smile.

“You should have seen Y/I play UCLA over the weekend, she was like a woman possessed,” Tashi narrated what Art missed while the men’s team was in Chicago. “The last girl she played was actually afraid of her. She was shaking like a leaf before the game started, it was amazing!” Tashi chortled happily.

You sat beside Tashi and across from Art – both of them wanting to be as close to you as possible – as the three of you dug into your lunch. Opposite you, Art reached over to squeeze your hand and beamed.

“That’s my terrifying girl,” he praised, chuckling when you rolled your eyes. “I wish I had been there, I hate that my away games are always scheduled during your home games. Luckily I’ll be there for the next few. Can’t wait to see you kick some ass next week,” Art added.

“I don’t know about kicking ass but I’ll do my best,” you said modestly.

Art kissed your hand before letting you get back to your meal. “All right, so when are you going pro?” he asked, addressing Tashi across the table.

You paused, heart dropping at the mention of Tashi leaving Stanford to pursue a professional career. It was something you knew was inevitable, but you were enjoying your time in college and knew it wouldn’t be as special without your best friend.

Tashi paused, chewing her food. “Um, well, if we win the championship, then I’ll leave,” she replied.

Art nodded. “So, May.”

“I said, if we win,” she corrected him.

“Right. So, May,” Art maintained. He grinned, knowing Tashi had no need to be humble after the season she had played so far. She chuckled, pleased with the implied compliment.

“You’ve been playing better than ever, T. We’re definitely going to win the championship,” you encouraged your best friend, not wanting the fact that you would miss her to hold you back from supporting her. “It’s like you can read your opponents’ minds these days, you’re unstoppable.”

Tashi felt herself grinning widely, unable to suppress her pure joy at hearing her best friend’s encouragement. “Thanks, Y/I. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you cheering me on. And beating all the girls in your own games, too,” she added happily.

“Turns out tennis is fun when the woman who gave birth to you isn’t trying to crush your spirit,” you replied, shrugging. “Who knew? Speaking of going pro, have you heard from Patrick recently?” As you changed the subject to Tashi’s casual but exclusive relationship, Art tensed across the table. His grip on his fork tightened as he heard his best friend’s name escape your lips.

“Yeah, he calls whenever he can. It’s like once a week,” Tashi recalled, eating her salad. She turned to Art, “Did Patrick tell you that he’s coming to the Pepperdine match?”

You and Tashi stared at Art when he did nothing but glare at the table. “Hmm. Yeah, he told me,” he replied, smiling a little.

“That’s so exciting, less than two weeks, right?” you recalled, grinning at Tashi. “I bet you’re really happy to see him again.”

“Yeah, it’ll be good,” Tashi agreed nonchalantly.

The truth was that Tashi did like Patrick, but not nearly as much as Patrick liked you. The two of them were very aware of the dynamics in their relationship. They both served a purpose for each other, mostly sex and someone to talk tennis with whose feelings wouldn’t be hurt by their honesty, but neither of them saw each other as long-term partners.

“We should all get dinner after the game to celebrate T’s victory,” you suggested excitedly, grabbing Art’s hand across the table. “It’ll be like a double date!”

Art maintained his clipped tone. “Sure. If you want,” he said, picking at the vegetables in his salad.

You and Tashi exchanged identical confused frowns. Even though he barely talked about Patrick these days, you were under the impression they were on good terms. It was odd then that Art would have such a terse reaction when discussing upcoming plans with Patrick.

“Last I heard from him, he said he was in Missouri for the Joplin Challenger. How did that go?” you asked Tashi, trying to salvage what was left of the conversation.

That caught Art’s attention. With wide eyes, he said, “You’ve been talking to Patrick?” Instantly, a wave of panic and dread washed over him, his heart racing as if trying to escape his chest.

You nodded. “Yeah, we’ve been talking since October. You knew that, you gave him my email.”

“I know,” Art recalled.

You raised an eyebrow, perplexed by his curt responses. “And he’s been using it.”

Art defended himself, “I didn’t realise. How come you never mentioned it?”

Swiftly, you locked eyes with Tashi and noticed she was just as lost as you. “I don’t know, I guess I thought you knew,” you replied slowly. “I didn’t think I specifically had to mention that we were in touch, I just assumed we were all talking to Patrick.”

Art nodded, attempting to collect himself. “What do you guys talk about? Tennis?”

You chuckled, recalling all the times you and Patrick had talked about tennis. “Maybe in the first two emails, but not since then. We talk about everything but tennis.”

“Everything but tennis?” Art echoed.

A pang of unease settled in his chest. It wasn’t that he was afraid you’d cheat on him, but rather a fear that you and Patrick might discover you had a deeper connection than what he shared with either of you. Art trusted you both implicitly, yet the thought of you realising a compatibility that surpassed his own made his heart sink. He tried to dismiss the nagging worry, reminding himself of the unique bond he cherished with each of you.

“Pretty much,” you confirmed. As you observed your boyfriend’s distant demeanour, a knot of concern tightened in your stomach. “I mean, that’s okay, right? The four of us are all friends, I figured it wasn’t a problem.”

“It’s not a problem,” Tashi stepped in quickly. “You’re right, the four of us are all friends. I think it’s great that Patrick can come to you to talk about something that isn’t tennis,” she added. You smiled, relieved that Tashi was okay with it.

“Of course, you can talk to whoever you want,” Art agreed, hoping he hadn’t made you feel bad. The last thing he wanted was for his insecurities to negatively impact you.

Tashi narrowed her eyes on your boyfriend. Even though he wanted to sound casual and supportive, there was an edge in his tone that she sussed out right away. “What’s up?” she asked bluntly, always the first to voice something uncomfortable.

Art looked up from where he was cutting his food, gazing at Tashi with innocent eyes. “Nothing,” he replied unconvincingly.

“Art.” Tashi put down her fork and maintained her stare. “This whole thing you’re doing–

“–I’m not doing anything,” Art interjected, putting his utensils down and grinning. You didn’t like the cold, borderline vicious smile on his face; it was unfamiliar and unsettling.

“You’re not good at it. It’s fucking stupid,” Tashi added.

“What are you trying to say?” you wondered, putting your fork down and shifting uncomfortably.

You were unsure how to mediate or even comprehend the conflict unfolding before you. You thought Tashi and Patrick were on excellent terms, just like Art and Patrick. This suggested otherwise. Glancing between them, you silently hoped for a resolution that wouldn’t strain your relationship with either of them.

“I’m just surprised that you guys are still seeing each other. That’s all,” Art declared when you were done talking, the smile falling from his lips as he and Tashi shared a strained look.

A beat of silence passed.

“Okay–” Tashi said calmly, crossing her arms.

Simultaneously, Art realised how harsh that was and added, “–I’m sorry.”

“Art, what the fuck are you doing?” you asked bluntly, appalled by your boyfriend’s behaviour. Art was clearly meddling in Tashi and Patrick’s relationship, and you couldn’t understand why.

Tashi leaned back in her seat and glared at Art. Her voice was calm and clear when she wondered, “Why did you ask me to come to lunch with you?” She was right. It had been Art’s idea to get lunch.

“You’re my girlfriend’s best friend and I thought we could all catch up,” Art replied, blinking innocently and keeping his voice even. His Adam’s apple bobbing nervously told you that Tashi was right. Art had a hidden motive to ask Tashi to have lunch with the two of you.

In one confident breath, Tashi said, “Don’t be such a fucking pussy. Is he seeing other girls on tour?”

“No, I mean–”

Tashi interrupted. “–Is that what this is?”

Art smiled so widely that you knew he had to be nervous. “I don’t know–”

“What?”

“That’s not what I’m trying to say.”

“Then what are you trying to say, Art?” you interjected, sick of all the games between them. “You’re not in a relationship with Tashi or Patrick, so I don’t know why you’re so worried about the parameters of their arrangement.”

“This isn’t about me or Patrick,” Tashi said, scanning Art with uncaring eyes. She clocked your boyfriend the second you told him you had been talking to Patrick for the last few months. His fake smile and clenched jaw gave it away. He may not have been worried that you and Patrick would cheat on him, but Art was jealous because – for once – your attention wasn’t on him. “Isn’t that right, Art?” When he said nothing, Tashi grabbed her phone from her lunch tray and got up. “Okay. I’ll see you tonight, Y/I.” You nodded.

“He’s not in love with you,” Art called out to her before Tashi could get very far. You kicked him under the table, glaring at him and furiously shaking your head.

Tashi halted, taking a deep breath before turning around and approaching the table again. She challenged Art, “What makes you think I want someone to be in love with me? Did I ever say I was in love with him?”

Art stared back, matching her tone, “You didn’t.”

“So why would I give a fuck if he loved me or not?”

“I guess you wouldn’t.”

Tashi nodded. “Cool.”

“Cool,” Art parroted. When Tashi spun away from him, he spoke again. “Don’t you think you deserve it?”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Tashi groaned, irritated.

Art questioned, “Why are you settling for the guy who wanted your best friend first? He asked for Y/N’s number and she rejected him. She’s who he wants, and she’s probably who he’s in love with.”

His words were like a slap in the face. You were jolted in your seat, gaping at your boyfriend incredulously. The sharpness of his words cut through the air, leaving you and Tashi momentarily stunned and reeling. Yet, beneath the sting, there was a flicker of realisation. Tashi was right. This wasn’t about her or Patrick.

This was about you.

After the initial shock subsided, Tashi shook her head and frowned at Art. “I think you might be the worst friend in the world,” she mentioned as she headed for the exit.

“Maybe,” Art called back.

“Definitely!” Tashi retorted, raising her voice. “Worst boyfriend in the world, too. Thank you. For lunch, Art.”

When the door to the dining hall slammed shut, Art finally met your eyes. An indescribable coldness in his gaze made you want to wither like a dying flower. Instead of doing that, you held your head high and stared right back.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” you asked. When Art said nothing, you sighed. “That wasn’t a rhetorical question, Arthur.” He swallowed harshly when you called him by his legal name. Usually you said it as a fond joke, but this time you meant business. “What exactly were you trying to achieve? You just felt like attacking my best friend for no reason?”

“Tashi will be fine,” Art replied coolly.

“No thanks to you, asshole. Seriously, Art, you can’t just be a dick to my friend and think I’ll let you get away with it,” you declared, getting up from your chair. “I expect you to apologise and explain to her why you momentarily lost your mind.”

Standing with you, Art furiously defended himself, “I overheard you the day of the Junior US Open, and I know that he asked you for your number. I just wanted Tashi to know the truth!”

“No, you wanted to humiliate my best friend, and by extension, me!” you replied, seeing right through him. “You think I don’t know you well enough to know when you’re purposely being cold? Well too bad, I do know you. You revealed something you thought was a secret because you wanted to have something over us. So what the hell, Art? Does me talking to Patrick really bother you that much?”

“I thought you and Tashi didn’t have secrets?” Art deflected. “You always said that you tell each other everything.”

“We do tell each other everything,” you insisted. “She already knew. We talked right after Patrick asked for her number and I explained everything that happened. Do you really think I would keep that kind of thing from my best friend? Especially when I encouraged Patrick to pursue her?” You raised an eyebrow, waiting for Art to come up with something clever or defensive to retort.

Instead, a look of realisation crossed his face. His eyes widened with shock and regret, face paling as he realised the weight of what he had done. A deep furrow formed between Art’s brows as he ran a hand through his hair, unable to meet your eyes.

“Fuck,” he cursed.

You sighed, dropping back into your seat, eyes searching his face for answers. “Why does it bother you so much that I talk to Patrick?” you asked softly, your voice tinged with concern. Art’s lips parted slightly, but no words came out, the silence amplifying the guilt that now consumed him. “And don’t try to come up with an excuse, just be honest with me,” you requested. “Hiding the truth won’t solve anything; it only creates more problems.”

A moment later, Art sat down, his posture heavy. “It’s not that I don’t trust either of you,” he began, his tone void of all previous coldness. “I cherish our relationship more than anything. But when I think of you two effortlessly continuing your connection from the night we met, I can’t help but feel like an outsider. I’m terrified you’ll both realise you’re more compatible with each other than you are with me,” Art admitted. “I love you so much, but there’s always this nagging fear that I’m not good enough for you.”

Your heart ached at his confession. You moved to the chair beside him. “Art, you are more than enough for me,” you whispered, taking his hands in yours with his permission. “I love you for who you are, not for some ideal you think you have to live up to.”

Art looked into your eyes, doubt lingering despite the sincerity in your irises. “All I want is to hold on to you,” he said desperately. “I can’t bear the thought of losing you to anyone, especially not to my best friend. I love him too, you know.”

You pulled him into a tight embrace, lovingly kissing his cheek. “You’re not going to lose me, Art,” you murmured affectionately. “We’ll work through this together. You’re the one I want, now and always. Forget about me and Patrick, we’re friends. He’s not in love with me, and he’s definitely not going to steal me away from you.”

Art held you tightly, as if you might disappear if he let go. He took a deep breath, feeling the steady beat of your heart against his chest. “I don’t want to lose him either,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “He’s been my best friend since we were kids. The thought of things changing, especially now that he’s been gone for so long, it scares me.”

You pulled back slightly to look up at him, your gaze filled with understanding. “You won’t lose Patrick. I don’t know what you’d have to do to get rid of him, but he cares about your friendship way too much to let something like distance get between you. You should talk to him, let him know what’s going on in your head.”

Art nodded, swallowing hard. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lashed out at Tashi earlier. It’s just... between school and the pressure from tennis, I feel like I’m drowning sometimes. But that doesn’t give me a free pass to take it out on anyone.”

“I get it,” you said reassuringly. “Things are intense right now, but you can’t just lash out when it gets too much for you. We’ll get through this, okay? I’m not going anywhere. And I expect you to apologise to Tashi.”

Art nodded frantically. “Of course I will. I was a jerk, she deserves an apology.”

“A really good one,” you emphasised. “This is Tashi Duncan we’re talking about. Grovelling will be involved, and bribery. Like, free-frozen-yoghurt-for-a-week level of bribery.”

Art chuckled. “I’m going to be so broke by the end of this week.”

“Then don’t be such an asshole next time,” you pointed out, raising an eyebrow.

With a mischievous grin, Art pulled you close and planted a soft kiss on your lips, turning it into a playful nibble that made you laugh. Your giggles faded into a tender smile as you wrapped your arms around his neck, lips meeting again in a sweet, lingering kiss. You pulled away, eyes twinkling, your argument forgiven but not forgotten.

“I love you,” Art whispered tenderly. “I’m never going to love anyone the way I love you.”

“Then you better not go anywhere,” you replied happily.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said kindly. “Not even a hurricane could move me.”

𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐙-𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐓𝐎𝐍. 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄, 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐑𝐊 – 𝐉𝐔𝐋𝐘 𝟐𝟗, 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟗. 𝟎𝟖:𝟑𝟗𝐏𝐌.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been standing there, crying into Art’s chest. When your sobs finally subsided, you felt utterly drained and exhausted. Sniffling, you pulled away and saw that you had completely soaked through your ex-boyfriend’s white t-shirt with your tears. You were grateful for waterproof mascara because black tear streaks would have made this even more humiliating.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Art wondered, studying your expression like he could still understand you perfectly with one glance. Unlike Tashi, who had forgotten many of your nonverbal cues after so many years apart, Art still knew how to read you like an open book.

He and Patrick always had that in common.

Your heart ached at the sight of Art’s tender expression. His arms had felt so familiar around you, not only reminding you of how safe you felt with him when you dated in college but how genuinely cared for you were, even now after everything you went through. That typical sympathetic look of genuine concern on his face was identical to when he used to be yours, and the reminder of your past was tiring and disheartening.

He looked better than ever, with broad shoulders, cropped hair, and a gorgeous face that looked even better with age.

Even though you didn’t want to, seeing Art made you think of seeing Patrick less than an hour ago. Where Art was clean-shaven, perfectly sculpted, and neat hair cut so short his curls weren’t visible anymore, Patrick was rugged with scruff, tousled curls, and less tailored clothing. They were so different from the men you were once in love with. You had thought you would spend the rest of your life with the one you were dating at the time. Now you were as good as strangers.

You wondered how you had changed in their eyes and tried not to dwell on the fact that they were no longer familiar to you. The only thing that stayed the same was how you felt when they looked at you. Desired and loved and cared for. But that had been then, this was now.

You cleared your throat, your tear-streaked face reflecting anguish. “I didn’t expect to run into you here.” Art handed you a tissue, watching with an affectionate smile as you wiped your eyes and took a deep breath.

“Outside my hotel room?” he said with a raised eyebrow, smirking teasingly. Art’s eyes sparkled with mischief, the corners crinkling in a way that indicated how much time had passed since he used to smile at you like that at Stanford. “It’s more likely than you might think.”

Twelve years ago you would have laughed and fallen into his arms, but now you averted your eyes and tried to separate the Art you knew from the man standing before you. “Yes, well, I’m leaving,” you declared. “This whole evening was a giant mistake. Goodnight, Art.”

“Hey, wait,” Art pleaded. “I’m glad we ran into each other,” he said softly. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot, and I think we should talk.”

You shook your head wearily. “I’m exhausted, Art. And we have nothing to talk about.”

His gaze didn’t waver. “We have a lot to talk about, Y/N. Especially about the last time we saw each other.”

You stiffened at the mention of your meeting in Paris three years ago. The day you both won the French Open was seared into your mind, and it was the last thing you wanted to talk about.

Your eyes narrowed. “Paris is exactly why we have nothing to talk about, Art. Everything ended then. I have no reason to speak with you.” You sighed. “I appreciate you letting me fall apart in front of you without pointing or laughing at me, but I have to go now.”

“I just want a chance to explain myself,” Art pleaded with you. “So much happened that night and I never wanted anything to turn out the way it did–”

“–But it did, Art,” you interjected. “That’s how it turned out! Has your situation changed since then?”

He shut his eyes momentarily. “No,” Art stated, blue eyes glistening with unshed tears when they opened again.

“Do you have anything to say that you didn’t already say that night?”

“Well, no, but–”

“Then we are where we are, and I don’t need to hear it again,” you denied his request with a bitter edge to your voice. “I’m done listening to people apologise tonight, it’s exhausting. I’m sick of having people I love hurt me and then forcing myself to sit through their half-assed, selfish apologies. First Patrick, then you?” If you had taken a breath, you would have realised how much harsher you were being on Art than Patrick. However, he did deserve it.

Art’s deep blue eyes widened in surprise, the genuine shock within them as clear as a sudden flash of lightning. His entire body went rigid, every muscle frozen in a tableau of disbelief. “You saw Patrick tonight?”

In your frustrated stupor, you ignored him. “If you need to talk about anything, including what happened in Paris, you can talk to your wife because I’m done,” you gave up.

Art looked at the floor, the weight of your words settling heavily between you. “Y/N, I–”

“Goodbye, Art,” you said firmly, turning away and walking down the hall to the elevator.

As the doors closed behind you, leaving Art standing in the hallway, you ignored the echoes of your past and left a man you once loved behind for the second time that evening.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i hope you enjoyed 2019 reader standing up for herself!!! it was very cathartic to write. art/patrick/reader stanford scenes coming next chapter 👀

#art donaldson x reader #patrick zweig x reader #tashi duncan #art donaldson #patrick zweig #challengers #challengers x reader #challengers fanfic #challengers movie #art donaldson imagine #art donaldson x you #patrick zweig imagine #patrick zweig x you #mike faist x reader #josh o connor x reader #fic: guilty as sin?

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mcuamerica · 1 day

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Hi could I request flustered Azriel? Idc what i just wanna see him and his shadows blushin a little bit :) thank you!!! and feel free to ignore <3

Of course! Flustered Az is one of my favorites! Hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: One of Madja's apprentices catches Azriel's eye...

Warnings: not proofread, pure fluff, flustered Az, mention of wounds from battle (let me know if I missed anything)

The first time he saw you, you were working on tonics in Madja's workshop. And you stopped him dead in his tracks. He completely forgot what he was going to say. Or even what he was here to retrieve.

He didn't even have the courage to ask for your name when Madja finally snapped him back to reality. She gave him a sidelong glace as she pushed him out of the workshop with the tonics for the Court, and all but slammed the door in his face. She would not let him simper for her ward.

After that day, Azriel made excuse after excuse to visit the workshop, but he never saw you again. He was worried that he made you up, dreamed you. The way parts of your hair fell from your braid into your face. How your hands, which looked so soft in the fae light, worked with the delicate jars around you. And even how your eyes light up at the sound of liquid pouring into glass. The glance at you was all but 10 seconds, and yet, it was enough for Azriel to ride on for the next 3 months.

Then he saw you the night they defeated Koschei. Madja had gone to tend Lucien and Elain, and you were there to help Azriel. His injuries were somewhat normal, aside from the large gash in his calf he hadn't been able to repair. You nervously sat in front of him, hands steady although he could smell your nerves. Or were those his own?

His shadows even danced around you, fluttering at every movement you made. You didn't even say anything as you dabbed a clean cloth into water, settling in front of him on a small stool. "Hi." You whispered, finally looking to meet hie eyes.

He stuttered. Azriel, spymaster and shadowsinger of the Night Court, couldn't get out two words. His eyes only widened at your gentle tone, your eyes glowing in the fae light. "I'm (Y/N)... I just need to clean this wound and then I'll work on repairing it. It might sting. Let me know if you need me to stop."

He wanted you to keep talking, but all he could do was stare. Stare at the beautiful woman in front of him. His shadows circled around his back, hiding behind him as if they too were afraid of saying the wrong thing.

His leg jerked as you poured a cleansing tonic on it, his hand coming up to grip the side of the chair. You flinched at the movement, your body tensing for a moment before relaxing and continuing to clean. Azriel noticed, and decided to keep it in his head for later.

"This shouldn't hurt, but if it does, let me know." You said as you dabbed a warm cloth to the not clotted wound. You then knelt down in front of him to get a better look at the wound. His heart almost burst from his chest seeing you on your knees.

You laid your hands on his leg, just over the wound, and began to let magic flow from them to bind and heal it.

Your hands were so soft. Nothing like his worn, scarred, and callused ones. Nonetheless, he still had to restrain himself from talking one of your hands in his. Just to thank you. Thank you for even taking time to speak or look at him.

Once you were done, you stood up, wiping your hands on a wet towel. "Madja will check in on the wound, but you should be set to resume your normal activities tomorrow morning." You said, gave a small bow of your head, and moved to walk away.

But he grabbed your wrist. A gentle grab that had you worried you missed a wound in your initial assessment, but when you looked him over, you found nothing else wrong with him. Other than the shadows that were swirling around his back, as if nervous.

"I'm Azriel." He said, finally finding his tongue. Gods, that was the most he could come up with?

His eyes widened at the giggle you let out of your lips, letting go of your wrist. You covered your mouth for a moment as another string of giggled fell out. "I know who you are, Shadowsinger." You said, your smile the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

A blush crept up his cheeks, making his shadows swirl around his face in order to hide it from you. Hide his mortification. Of course you knew who he was.

"Uh.. Is there anything else I can get for you, my lord?" You asked, seemingly realizing that you were in the presence of a deadly warrior and you had just laughed at him.

"N- Yes- No." He stuttered again. Lucien, on the other side of the room, glanced over to the spymaster. Did Azriel ever stutter?

"No?" You asked, tentatively.

"No.. I'm.. fine." He said. "Thank you." He said, thanking his shadows as they hid his face even more. If it wouldn't horrify him even more, he would bury his head in his hands. And that's exactly what he did when you walked away, telling Madja you'd be going home before disappearing out the door.

You saw Azriel the next day at the workshop. Madja was still tending to Elain, who was resting at the River House with Lucien. So, you took charge as all of the other apprentices were somehow on holiday.

He walked into the shop, pausing as he saw you at the front desk, scribbling something in a notebook. "(Y/N)?" He tentatively said.

Your head perked up from the book, eyes widening of your own. His voice was so gentle. Gods, he took up half the lobby with his large wings. It was your turn to blush, realizing you'd been staring at him. "Hi, Lord-"

"Azriel.. Just call me Azriel." He said, the heat on his neck slowly creeping to his cheeks.

"Azriel.. Hi. Did you need something?" You asked, standing up. The top of your head barely even reached his shoulder as he walked up to the counter.

"My leg is bothering me today.. Did you have a pain tonic in stock?" He asked.

A deep frown formed on your lips as you peered over the counter to see his leg, which was covered by his loose slacks. "Did it reopen? I'm sure I-"

"It's nothing you did." He interrupted, cursing himself for blaming the pain on his leg. You had mended it perfectly. It didn't even bother him. His hands though... "Did I say leg? I meant my hands." He said, flexing them with a wince. He easily become self-conscious as you peered at them, taking in the scars. He hide them behind his back.

"I can't give away pain tonic without Madja's okay... but she may have a note." You said and turned around. Azriel could hear your heart beating a million miles a minute. Was he being too intimidating? Were you scared of him?

"Last night... you flinched at me when I raised my hand." He said, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. He was never like this. He always thought through what he would say. What was it about him that made him stumble over his words? That made the normal leash he had on them go slack?

You paused as you opened a drawer and looked up at him, your hands shaking every so slightly. "I've tended to males who are not kind when they feel pain... It's a habit I am getting over now that I am working for Madja." You said, voice wavering, and found a note about how Azriel could receive pain tonic for his hands. You worked your way to the case in the back, unlocking it and finding the right dose to give him.

As you turned back around, the look he gave you was only one of a gentle male. One who understood what you had been through and wanted to make sure you never went through it again. It wasn't anger.. but hope. That he would be there to stop it one day.

You noticed his shadows still dancing around his back again, as if hiding from you. As you handed the tonic over to Azriel, your hands brushed. He nearly dropped the glass at the shock that went through him.

"Would you like to eat?" He asked.

You peered up at him, eyebrows furrowed at the question. However, the side of your mouth ticked up as you realized what he was asking.

His cheeks heated once more. He was pretty sure his entire face was the shade of Cassian's siphon. "I mean with me. Would you like to eat with me? Not right now. Or ever if you don't want to-"

"I would love to." You cut him off, releasing your grip on the tonic in his hand. "I close the shop at 5." You told him.

He cleared his throat, nodding to himself as he tucked his hands behind his back again. His shadows rushed to you at your answer. And there was that giggle as they floated through your hair. They certainly gave away that their master was happy in your response.

"I will be here at 5." He said.

"I can't wait." You replied, again that beautiful smile coming to your lips.

As he walked out, he was pretty sure he was going to die of mortification. But he wouldn't. Because now he had a meal to plan with the most beautiful female in Prythian.

A/N: Aww hope you liked this! Feel free to submit any other requests (I don't know if I'll have time to respond to them this week, but I will try!)

#acotar #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #acotar spoilers #katie reads #katie writes #azriel fluff #requested by anon #anon ask #anon request

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pia-nor481 · 1 day

Note

okay so this is personally what i think some of the driver's kinks are:

Max Verstappen: a huge praise kink

Lewis Hamilton: sir kink

Lando norris and Charles Leclerc : mommy kink ig🤭

Carlos Sainz: a huge ego and a huge daddy kink

Daniel Ricciardo: somnopholia or like fuckin someone in their sleep

Alex Albon and Logan Sargeant: gotta be overstimulation (both giving and receiving end)

and that's all I could think of as of right now you can mix them up a little and feel free to use them ideas

love you<33

MV: he loves receiving praise so much. He wants to hear how well he makes her feel, how well he’s doing. It can be as simple as “So good Max.” Or something extremely specific that he does. He also enjoys giving praise, especially when it’s trying something new. “Such a good girl, so perfect for me.” Or “look at you, taking me so well.”

LH: perhaps this has stemmed from the knighthood. “So, Sir Lewis Hamilton.” He didn’t expect her voice to affect him so much. Slowly it developed into a reoccurring title in the bedroom. “Yes Sir, I’ll be good I promise. I’ll do everything you say.” It really gets him off now. So anytime someone reminded him of that title he smiles to himself, thinking about her.

CL: he lets it slip one night. Maybe after a long few race weekends he just wants to relax, let her take control. “That’s it Charles, lie back, let me take care of you.” He lets out a quiet sigh and closes his eyes enjoying the feeling of her on top, and around him. “Please mommy, faster.” Even he was shocked that he said it, eyes shot open, expecting her to be angry. Charles wanted to tell her at some point, he was just unsure of when. She began rocking her hips faster. “That’s it Charles, be good for Mommy.”

LN: now, one evening Lando put all his cards on the table and decided to tell her everything he was into, and I mean everything. It was overwhelming to start, but she knew his intentions, he didn’t want to get too attached then reveal something that could have been a dealbreaker. He didn’t want his heart broken. One thing with Lando, is that he likes to be on top. “Yes Mommy, you feel so good…Please can I cum please.” Sometimes he will just walk up behind her, arms tight around her waist as he buries his face into her neck. “Mommy, I need you.”

CS: Now let me tell you, this man likes to DOMINATE. He actually refers to himself as daddy quite often, even outside of the bedroom. “You can cum one more time…that’s it come for daddy.” He’s always so casual about it as well.

DR: he’s the first one to ask, he was talking about really wanting to be woken up by getting head. He wasn’t expecting it to feel so good, the only thing he could think about or feel is pleasure, and it was one of the best ways to wake up. After he’s cum down her throat, he couldn’t help but express his enjoyment, and it made her slightly jealous. So he offered, one day as he wanted to keep it a surprise, that she’d experience the same pleasure. And oh was he right

Williams: so they both want to cum dry, usually about 4 or 5 orgasms and the excitement of it just pushes him closer to the edge each time. So after 2/3 it becomes hard to think, almost in a haze. Cock become so sensitive he’d have to push you’re hand or mouth away as it’s all too much. On the other hand, he’d just love to see her squirming with how much pleasure he’d given her. Begging him to stop because he’s just too good.

Hey love, sorry this took so long. Anytime I tried to write the universe said “no ideas for you.”

I hope you’re doing well and thank you for sending in ideas xx

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babyyhoneyyy · 2 days

Note

3. “Tell me to leave and I’ll never bother you again.” and 32. "I can't hide it anymore. I have to tell you how I feel."

Reader tells her best friend Harry how she feels and thinking he may not feels the same way, sacred that their friendship is ruined and not knowing that Harry loves her!!

Angstyy idea but with happy ending please thank you!!🥺💔🥺

yes of course!! thank you for requesting this ily 🫶🏻

prompts:

3. “Tell me to leave and I’ll never bother you again.”

32. “I can’t hide it anymore. I have to tell you how I feel.”

Mallorca was absolutely beautiful in the summer. Sunny mornings, the kind that made the heat feel like a golden blanket on skin, and warm, windy nights which allow you to cool off after a long day on the sand.

The beach was definitely Y/N’s favorite place to be. It was where she spent most of her time, surrounded by her friends and the people she loved— she was really glad she decided to come to the trip last minute. It was the breath of fresh air she didn’t know she needed, after weeks of being cooped up in her office.

It was their third night there, and Y/N had been sipping on a number of drinks throughout the evening, dressed in a knitted coverup and pink swimsuit. She was sitting with her friend Denise who was telling Y/N all about the handsome frenchman she ran into in the resort lobby.

Y/N was trying to listen; nodding along to her friend’s words and giving her opinion on what the guy was wearing, but it was hard to do anything when Harry was right across the room, leaning against a wall and chatting up a pretty blonde girl who seemed really into him.

Y/N wanted to look away but just couldn’t. Her heart was in her throat when she saw the girl put a hand on Harry’s chest. He put his hand over hers and let his fingers trail down her bare forearm, tracing the skin there. A frown settled on Y/N’s features as she continued watching the two flirt, and when he pulled the girl in by her waist, she forced herself to face her friend again.

An uneasy feeling settled in her tummy— like jealousy and anger, coiling through her veins and making her tongue taste sour.

She had been hopelessly in love with Harry for years. Ever since she infiltrated the friend group, she had heart-shaped eyes for the boy. And really, how couldn’t she? He was sweet and funny, he would always listen when she had to something to say, cared for her and made time for her.

He was a dreamboat, and Y/N fell for him the moment she first saw him.

So, obviously when she sees him get all lovey and flirty with other people, it made her heart ache.

It ached all throughout the rest of her time at the bar as Y/N willed herself to not look in Harry’s direction and it ached during the walk back to her hotel room.

She had such an amazing day sightseeing with her friends and swimming at the beach, it was a shame she was ending it feeling so bummed.

Y/N moped for a bit and rolled around in her bed. It had gone on too long, her little crush on her Harry. Long enough that him not knowing was starting to drive her crazy. She couldn’t even be sure he was into her like that. He was still dating and seeing people on and off, and she had a vague idea of what his type was, but the fear of getting rejected and loosing Harry for good scared her.

But what if she told him, and he realised he liked her too?

Things could also go well, if luck was on her side.

What if her telling him about her feelings is the only thing that was keeping Y/N from getting what she always wanted? She just needed a push… something to finally tip her over the edge and spill to Harry all of her feelings.

Maybe it was the number of drinks she had, or maybe it was the 2AM adrenaline that coursed through her veins, but she found herself shoving her keycard into her pocket and racing out of her room.

The thought process was such that it was her second last night on the beautiful island, and she might go insane if she didn’t tell Harry how she felt right now. If things didn’t go her way, she would act like it never happened, blaming the exchange on the drinks she had.

If things did go her way, then well, maybe she would finally have a shot at what she always desired.

She was standing outside of his door before she knew it, rapping her fingers on the wood, once, twi—

Fuck, what if he brought that girl to his room? Or what if he wasn’t there because he was in her room instead? Shit, shit, sh—

“Y/N?”

The door swung open. Harry stood there with tousled hair, shirtless and in a pair of sweats. His voice was raspy, like she had woken him from sleep. “Harry,” she breathed, eyes wide, “are… are you alone?”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed. “Yes. Why, is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything’s fine,” she wracked her brain trying to find the right words, trying not to look too happy he was by himself, “I just… I can’t hide it anymore. I have to tell you how I feel.”

“What are you talking about?” He grabbed her arm and pulled her into his room so she wasn’t just standing in the hallway. Her heart raced as she looked around, glad to see that one side of his bed was still completely made and untouched, proving that no one but him had slept there. His clothes were folded neatly on a table and the rest was kept nice and tidy.

She met his expectant, sleep-swollen eyes. “Harry I… I love you.”

It’s short and it’s simple. She tried to get the point across in the three words, but apparently, it wasn’t enough.

“I love you too, Y/N, but why is this suddenly important at two in the morning?”

“No, Harry, I love you, and I have loved you for a long time,” she said, “you can tell me to leave and I’ll never bother you again, but I had to tell you. I love you, like, I want to be with you, and touch you—“

Now she was rambling, and if she didn’t stop she would only embarrass herself.

“— and kiss you and… I don’t know if you feel the same. You can tell me if you don’t, just please say something.”

Her lip fell victim to her anxious teeth as she watched his expression change to that of confusion.

A beat passed; then two.

“Harry?”

“Y-you love me like, romantically?”

Y/N nodded eagerly. Harry’s lips parted like he just had an epiphany. “Yes, Harry, like romantically. If… if you don’t then it’s okay I can go back to my room and I won’t ever bring this up again, we can forget it ever happened—“

“—no. I don’t want to forget this.”

An arm curled around her waist and before she could process it, Harry pressed his lips to hers. Y/N couldn’t even describe how she felt in that moment, buzzing and electric when butterflies flitted about in her tummy. The hold he had on her waist slipped up to her jaw, fingers split around her ear as he kissed her with so much passion. It was everything she ever dreamed of.

A couple of seconds later he parted from her mouth, but kept his forehead against hers. “I’m so stupid,” were the first words to leave his mouth. Y/N giggled, “why?”

Harry kissed her again, “because,” he said, between pecks, “if I had known you felt this way, I would have done this ages ago.”

His confession did something great for Y/N, her eyes sparkling and heart racing. “Really? You… you feel the same way? You’re not just saying it ‘cause I sai—“

He cut her off with another hard kiss. “I would never do that to you. I love you, Y/N. And I have for a long, long time. I’m just angry it took us so long to finally tell each other how we felt.”

Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.

Y/N sighed. “I guess we are stupid.” Harry grinned down at her, “stupid and in love.”

divider by @firefly-graphics

HEYY I HOPE I DID THE PROMPT JUSTICE!! let me know if you liked it!!! 🫶🏻🤭 apologies if it sucks ass I DONT THINK IM BEST AT ANGST LOLOL

#harry styles drabble #writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles au #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #queue

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brain-deadx0 · 1 day

Text

(Got a brain worm that I had to write. No plans to continue so feel free to take for yourself)

Batman was responding to reports of Harley Quinn running around Gotham. Joker had been put back in Arkham several months ago so there was a chance she was making a move to set him free again.

But apparently Harley was expecting him.

"Well finally! You sure know how to keep a gal waiting Batsy. Ive been running around all night waitin for ya."

When Harley turned to face him his eyes were immediately drawn to her stomach.

"You're pregnant..."

"Yeesh your manners are bad ya cant just say that!" Harley rolled her eyes before pausing with a sigh and a serious look that almost seemed out of place on her, "But yeah... I am."

"Joker?" Batman asked softly.

Harley nodded, "Thats why I was runnin around tonight. Wanted to get your attention." She looked down before continuing, "I was in denial about it at first. I was always careful with that birth control stuff ya know? And I didn't want it to be real. Before I knew it it was too late to... you know... but. But I dont think I coulda anyway. I know its selfish but I love em too much already. Thats why I need your help."

"I'll help in anyway I can." Batman told her, "I can set up a place for the two of you where Joker won't find you."

Harley shook her head, "No can do Batsy. Mista J wouldn't let me go that easy. Specially if he knows about my little puddin. And if I'm honest I love him too much to leave too.

"I need someplace to have 'im that won't tell. And... I want you to look out for him. Not like, take 'im in or nothing. If I see my baby runnin around as one of your birds in ten years I'll let you have it-" She sighed, "But find someplace away from Gotham and all this. I don't want this for my little puddin. I don't want him to turn out like me or Joker and his best chance is someplace else.

"Please Batman."

Bruce kept his promise to Harley. She gave birth in secret and Daniel was taken to the other side of the country to be left at a firestation with nothing but his name and a note from Harley saying she loved him.

When Daniel was adopted Bruce ran a background check on his new parents. Inventors who seemed to be researching some sort of renewable energy and already had a child. Seemed safe enough.

He checked the area when they moved to a small town in Illinois and it seemed safe enough even with the likely tourist trap of "most haunted town in America"

Daniel, or Danny as he seemed to prefer, got decent grades and had a few close friends. His grades dropped suddenly for a time but eventually they returned to their previous state so he didn't worry too much.

But when the boy applied to and was accepted into Gotham U, Bruce started to worry.

They had left Danny as far away from Gotham as possible. So what were the chances he should return?

#dpxdc #my writing #brain blurbs #batman #harley quinzel

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tiredmamaissy · 17 hours

Text

Ralak te Sepawn ieyk’itan: Special Episode VI

Labor of Love - Part II

Masterlist ; Rut/Heat/Knotting Info

🔞 minors, do not interact 🔞

Hyperlinks are attached to specific paragraphs that when clicked on will lead you to its illustration by Ralak's insanely talented creator @zestys-stuff. Thank you so much for allowing me to play around with your characters!

Characters: Metkayina!Ralak (25) x Sully!Omaticaya!Reader (20) featuring Metkayina!Zu’té (29)

Warnings: zero smut, angst angst angst, mention of past trauma, expletives, pregnancy, contractions, heavily described labour, blood, mild physical violence, reader is really going through it, ralak is too but he'll be alright i promise, brother!neteyam makes a star appearance, cute family fluff, let me know if i forgot anything

Word Count: 6.5k

Requested: Yes || No

Author’s Note: Hope you're enjoying your tour in angst town...we're almost finished. You could say we're nearing the final attraction, so continue to keep your seatbelts buckled. lol why am i like this? anyways... please don't hate me for this chapter, and i will try my best to get the next one out quicker so you guys can get some closure lool :)

Synopsis: You didn't plan for things to turn out this way. But no amount of denial can make reality go away...

<- Previous -> Next

And when Ralak sees it, he almost caves in on himself. His mask of indifference—of intimidation, cracks. Hell, it shatters. Into thousands of pieces, scattered at his feet. Tonowari’s previous right hand. The banished. His karyu.

Time chips by at a torturous pace. You spend the first hour sitting on the beach, eating some fruit whilst watching what your brothers get up to. Neteyam, of course, is bearing most of the responsibility whilst Lo’ak and Tuk are taking a more easy approach to the day. Mom and dad made sure to leave them with a list of things to get done whilst they’re away—number one being to keep an eye on their sisters.

Number one, check.

All that floods your mind is your mate and if he’s okay. You try to process everything he’s said but it’s all too much to wrap your head around. All too new. Your brothers aren’t much help either, as they claim to be ‘out the loop’ as much as you are. You know it's bullshit, and probably just another thing that they’ve been ordered to keep from you so as not to ‘stress you out’.

Regardless, it’s all you can think about.

Until you feel your son do a flip in your womb, big enough to make you gasp. Your hands immediately fly to your belly, feeling around to gauge his position. A pressure begins to grow against your bladder. One so intense it presses into your tailbone too. The pads of your fingers sink into the skin, tapping around as you make out a leg, then a knee. A hand to the left.

Is he…head down? You think to yourself.

“Everything alright?” Neteyam asks, concern wrinkling his forehead.

“Hm?” You look up, seeing the outline of his silhouette in front of the sun.

“You okay? You’re…you look a little—”

“Oh, yeah. Everything’s fine. He’s moving a lot today.” You smile, catching Tuk excitedly running over in the corner of your eye.

“Really? Can I feel? Please?” She squeals excitedly, falling to her knees in the sand next to you.

“Of course, Tuk.” You smile, and place her hand on top of your stomach, right where his foot is. Only a few seconds pass by until your son gives Tuk a strong kick, making her mouth open with glee.

“Wow! Tey, you gotta feel this!” Tuk exclaims, tugging your brother by the hand so he’s next to you too. Neteyam looks at you, unsure if you’re okay with it. You nod with a gentle smile, tugging his hand over to the other side of your stomach. His hand hovers as he hesitates for a moment, this is his first time feeling his nephew move. He gives you a final look, and gently rests his hand on your belly

A few moments pass and nothing.

“Aww, he stopped moving.” Tuk sighs with a pout.

“Patience, Tuk.” You whisper, feeling him kick on cue. Her face lights up with a beaming smile and Neteyam seems to be in awe with wide eyes and slightly parted lips.

“Woah, y/n. Your tummy’s getting hard.” Tuk says innocently, looking at her brother to see if he feels it too.

“Hm?” You hum, feeling a bit spaced out and achy.

“It is.” Neteyam lets go and keeps his hands to himself, feeling like he’s invading your personal space. A heat floods your back, and you feel your thighs spasm. You begin to groan, holding your breath until the strange feeling subsides. “Hey. You okay?”

You nod, finally release your breath, and hear Tuk’s excited voice. “It’s all soft now!”

“All good.” You smile, but Neteyam doesn’t seem convinced at all. “Ronal says they are normal. They aren’t the real thing. Mom had them with Tuk, remember?”

Neteyams' features soften as he nods, prying his little sister's hands off of you. “Ease up now, Tuk.”

“Sorry, sis.” She says quietly, ears laying flat to her head.

“Nothing to be sorry about.” You say as you roll to your side to get up, shamelessly using Neteyam to gain some momentum. “Think it’s time for me to take a walk, though.”

“Yes, sure. Where are we going?” Neteyam asks, ready to accompany you anywhere.

“I’m going down to the rocks.” You emphasise on the first word, making it clear you need some alone time after being babysat all day. “I think Lo’ak needs some help with the net.”

Neteyam and Tuk look over to see their brother struggling with a tangled fishing net, and turn back to see that you’re already waddling down the beach.

——

Suddenly, Ralak’s back inside of his family marui pod on his iknimaya night. Trapped. Small. Powerless. Cornered by a person he once looked up to. A person he trusted. Manipulated by her heat— her pheromones. A crime punishable by banishment. Forced to give, forced to receive. A betrayal he’ll never forget. A face he swore to himself that he would never see again.

No wonder they ‘demanded’ his presence.

Tonowari and Ronal lose their colour when their eyes land on her. It’s been so many years. They quickly look over to Ralak, who is seemingly falling to pieces where he stands. The expression on his face is no short of pure shock and… terror. Truthfully, the last time they’d seen such an expression on his face was the deaths of his parents and spirit brother. Jake and Neytiri aren’t aware of what’s going on, but they know it must be serious for Ralak to be so…expressive.

They can even see his shoulders heave from how hard he’s breathing, and how his face of terror quickly morphs into something of fury. Tonowari notices the way he tightens his grip on his weapon, and his eyes as they gloss over red with rage. It takes a lot to make this man blind with anger. Tonowari knows if he doesn't step in now that this could turn sour in the blink of an eye.

——

Two.

Releasing a shaky exhale, you begin your walk back to your siblings. That was the second ‘practice’ contraction you’ve had since starting your walk, and your third since coming here with your brothers. Your waddle is becoming more sluggish with each step and the fire in your back is beginning to burn hotter rather than fade out.

“Not now, little one.” You whisper as you caress your bump. “…please.”

Weariness sets in as you make it halfway back, making you perch on your knees to take a break. The fire spreads from your back to your thighs, and up your stomach. You brace yourself for the tight feeling, holding your breath in the base of your chest. You grumble a little, swaying side to side until it passes, which thankfully doesn’t take more than a few seconds.

Three.

Finally making it back to the beach, you see Neteyam and Lo’ak hauling a few sacks on their backs, with Tuk skipping behind them. You overhear Lo’ak trying to convince Neteyam to let him be with the other warriors, and Neteyam reminding him of your parents orders. They stop mid sentence when they hear your heavy, muffled footsteps, taking one look at you and knowing that something isn’t right. Lo’ak in particular, to your surprise.

“Damn. You look exhausted.” Lo’ak says, earning a jab in the rib by Neteyams elbow. “What? She looks like she’s about to pass out.”

“You can’t say that to a pregnant woman, skxawng [idiot].” Neteyam hisses.

“It’s fine. He’s not wrong.” You say, tail dragging low and heavy behind you. Ralak still clouds your mind, and you’re eager to know if he’s back yet. “I want to go home now. I really need to lie down.”

Neteyam just nods, understanding that something deeper is going on. “I will take you.”

“I got it, bro.” Lo’ak interjects, plunking the sack off his back and onto the ground.

“Stay with Tuk.” Neteyam orders, clicking for his skimwing.

“Why don’t you stay with Tuk?” Lo’ak snaps back.

“Guys. Please?” You sigh, waddling towards the winged beast, throwing a leg over its tough back. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Come ‘teyam.” Neteyam smirks, making the bond with the beast and mounting it in one swift move.

As you arrive at your marui, you see Zu’té at the outside fire pit, concentrating on not burning yet another type of meat-on-a-stick. Hearing your arrival, Zu’té turns and acknowledges your presence. He puts down the sizzling meat on a leaf, allowing the fire to continue to burn as he begins to make his way over to collect you. Neteyam and him exchange glances and silent greetings, and suddenly the air is thick.

“Right…I’m going up. Thank you, tey. See you.” You say out of breath, giving him a quick hug.

“Let me—” Neteyam begins.

“No, I’m okay.” You cut off your brother, hualing yourself off the tsurak.

“Right. Kìyevame [see you again soon]. If you need me, send your watchdog.” He speaks clearly, holding you by the wrist to steady you as you get off.

“I will, tey.” You chuckle lightly and make your way to the marui. Neteyam waits patiently, making sure you get in safely.

Zu’té is only half way there when you reach the bottom step, already offering his arm for the stairs. You sigh and shake your head, hurriedly climbing the stairs as fast as your swollen ankles will allow it. For some reason, his gesture really annoys you. Your mood is off and you feel queasy and achy—like your entire body is throbbing.

All you want is for everyone around you to stop babying you, and let you be alone for the rest of the day.

“I got it.” Your voice strains as you wobble ahead, leaving Zu’té and your brother behind. Neteyam remains silent for some time, locking eyes with Zu’té.

‘Keep a close eye.’ Neteyam signs with disquiet wrinkling his forehead. Zu’té gives him a puzzled look at first, but slowly nods when he successfully deciphers the message. Neteyam nods as well and dives underwater.

By the time Zu’té gets to the bottom step, you’re already at the top, clutching onto the railing as you lean forward in pain. You couldn’t even make it into the pod without another hitting you so soon. You take a few deep breaths rather than holding it in, waiting until the tight feeling subsides.

Four.

Zu’té darts up the stairs to your side, offering a hand in support only to be swatted away. “What is it?”

“It is nothing.” You catch your breath and insist that it was nothing—because it was nothing, right?

His brows furrow in disbelief, a look of concern washing over his face. Zu’té allows his eyes to fall to your bulging, veiny belly for the first time, taking in the sight. “You were in pain.”

“I’m fine.” You’re short with him, stony eyes staring into his.

“Someone once told me no good comes from pretending that things don’t hurt.”

“Well nothing’s happening until my husband is back. Okay?” You try to remain nonchalant, to believe your own words.

He simply stares down at you for a bit, analysing your facial expression. Despite your stone cold facade, he can easily see the fear etched into your features. Fear that this baby may come before Ralaks return and that if you allow yourself to accept reality, then it may really come true. He glances down at your hand still stuck to the side of your stomach and swallows, looking back up to you.

“Understood.”

“Right. Now...” You huff, contemplating if you should say what you want to say. You feel like telling him to back off—to give you some space. But he’s obviously just making sure you’re okay. “...I need to lie down. Just, keep an eye out for—”

“My brother? Sure. Rest well.”

——

“Ay’ana.”

The Olo’eyktan lets out a lengthy growl, earning a look from the traitor herself.

“Waari.” She sings with a grin, shifting her leer to his mate behind him. “Ronal.” Her eyes fall to her swollen belly, “You are expecting…again.”

It wasn’t a, ‘congratulations’ either, no. But rather a ‘I see that you are the most vulnerable.’

Ronal scowls, hissing through her teeth. Tonowari steps in front of his mate, blocking her from Ay’ana’s view.

It was one thing to commit kawngkem [a crime; evil deed] and be banished for it, but it’s another to seek uturu with the enemy. She is no longer considered to be among the ‘banished’, but is now the ‘enemy’.

Ay’ana looks behind Tonowari, not at Ronal, but at the two deeper skinned, slender na’vis. She scoffs, the corner of her mouth pulling into an evil smirk, revealing her sharpened teeth. Tonowaris eyes widen when he sees that she’s completely adapted to this vile peoples’ ways by putting a file to her teeth. Her eyes flick past them to the last person, the most important.

“Ralak.” She slowly moans his name as she peers up at him with sultry eyes, allowing her tongue to glaze over her canines. “Such a pleasure.” Ralak winces, chest heaving violently as it fills with repulsion and loathing. “Ah. I remember you being quiet, but not this quiet. Nothing to say to your karyu?”

——

A couple hours have passed and the pain is enough to disrupt your rest. The sunlight dulls with each passing minute, casting a familiar orange hue into the marui. It comes in waves, rippling through you like a bolt of lightning striking the tallest tree in the forest. Making it hard to tell yourself that things are okay—making it hard to keep things quiet.

“Agh!” You groan suddenly, feeling another jolt of electricity shoot up your spine. It stops you in your tracks, the tracks you’ve been burning into the floor with your constant, nervous pacing. You quiet down into a whisper, “...please wait for your sempu [daddy], my child.”

“You—uhm.” You hear Zu’té clear his throat at the door, projecting his voice so that you can hear him through the curtain, “You alright in there?”

“Mmn—yes! Fine.” You grate out, making your way back to the bed to lie down. Your feet are so sore.

“Hungry?” He asks, food in hand in the case you were.

“‘m not.” You try to speak up, but you’re still in the height of the contraction.

He grits his teeth, leaning into the frame of the marui door. “I didn’t burn it this time.”

You wish you could laugh, but you can’t even muster up the strength to raise your voice.

Zu’té lingers at the door quietly, knowing plain as day that you weren’t okay. “...what about water?”

“No...I’ve got.” You say at a normal volume, finally released from the constraints of your pain.

You begin closing your eyes in hopes that sleep may find you, even if it's just for a few minutes. Zu’té remains at the door for a moment longer, feeling so helpless and useless. He sinks back to the floor, putting down the meat and picking up a new, special piece to weave.

Weaving passed the time, distracting him from the tiny sounds that managed to escape your mouth.

Until night fell, and those tiny sounds morphed into deep, lengthy groans and high pitched wails.

——

“Let us begin.” Tonowari speaks over Ay’ana, averting all attention back to their leader, another female that goes by the name of ‘Varang’.

She’s almost grey in colour, embellished with a red headpiece that resembles something of an ikrans wings. Her eyes narrow as she looks straight at Tonowari, standing close to his height.

“Let us.” She hisses with a smile, leading Tonowari to a smaller, private room sectioned by a leather curtain. She motions to Ay’ana to accompany her, leaving the rest of her men to stay with the others. Tonowari lets out a soft grunt, and grits his teeth. He knows he must choose, but his mate is heavy with child and Jake has no interest in leaving his mate in such a place alone. Therefore, he must choose his right hand—Ralak. He motions with a quick tilt of his head, prompting Ralak to clutch his weapon close to his chest and follow closely behind.

——

“Y/n.” Zu’té’s at the curtain again, half considering to pull it back and come in on his own terms. But he would never invade your privacy like that. And by the sounds of it, things are picking up. “Do you need the healer?”

“No!” You shout out of breath, wobbling to the door with a hand clutching your stomach. You lean all your weight against the wall, knowing he’s on the other side waiting. “No healer.”

You’re drenched in sweat, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. He hears your back slide against the surface, and he mirrors your movements, sitting on the floor too. Only a wall sits between your backs, separating you two.

“You’re in labour.” Zu’té speaks, his poor attempt at urging you to face reality.

You know that. Of course you know that. But you don’t want it to be true—you didn’t expect it to happen this way—you didnt want it to happen this way. You take a few deep breaths, concentrating on breathing through the remainder of this horrible feeling. And when it’s finally over, you rest your head against the wall and close your eyes—leaving silence to fill the air.

Where are you, Ralak?

——

The room is much smaller than the one they were in, equipped with some sort of table or workbench with a few spears and bows mounted on the wall. Ralak stands quietly behind Tonowari, as does Ay’ana to Varang.

As they negotiate the terms of the treaty, Ay’ana keeps her eyes locked onto Ralak with a smug look on her face. Her hungry eyes wander, shamelessly taking in every inch of the man before her, surprised by how much he has changed. He’s much bigger, more filled out in his warrior attire. His muscles—more defined, thicker. His skin—calloused and scarred. Inked, unlike before.

And as her eyes trail down the line between his abs they lay upon the six stripes that peak out over the band of his loincloth. Her eyes widen and glisten with greed before darting back up to his face, meeting his eyes that bore into her fearlessly.

What’s worse is that she can see that his mind is elsewhere.

That his mind runs on you. You’re all he’s been thinking about since he stepped off the reef. He feels deep in his heart that something isn’t right back home. That you need him. That perhaps, you’re calling for him right now, swollen and heavy with his child.

And it bothers her.

“It is decided, then.” Tonowari speaks in a confident tone.

“Yes, it is.” Varang’s smile is uncanny as she unsheaths a small, double edged knife from her hip.

She grabs Tonowari by the hand, placing the blade in the middle of his palm, and closes his fingers around it. She rips it from his hand, drawing blood, and then hands Tonowari the knife and gives him her hand. He returns the unsettling act, slitting her palm. She keeps a smile on her face, locking hands with him until their blood combines and drips to their feet.

Supposedly, it is a method of establishing some level of trust between the two. Where each has the ability to do much greater harm, but makes the deliberate choice not to. Then, when blood has been drawn, it is mixed by bringing the hands together, sealing the treaty.

“Bound by blood.” Varang whispers, letting go of his hand to bring hers to her mouth for a taste.

She sighs and smiles, popping a thumb in her mouth before gesturing to him that they leave. Tonowari fights the flinch on his face, disturbed by her behaviour. Ay’ana stays back, watching the two leaders exit the room. But as Ralak is about to leave behind Tonowari, Ay’ana calls for him.

——

Another couple agonising hours pass, and you’re constantly changing positions in hopes of finding some relief. Desperation sets in, making you beg the great mother herself to guide you through this. To bring your mate back home. But there’s still no sign of his return. The night dew settles on all the surfaces around you. Pacing no longer helps, leaving you to take refuge in your bed, panting and shivering.

No matter how much you twist and turn, your stomach only tightens more. Deep groans rip past your lips to cope with the feeling—the pain shooting through your core. Beads of sweat roll off your body at an alarming rate, soaking the sheets on your bed. You feel him move further down, his head now sitting plush in your pelvis, creating an immense pressure that’s almost unbearable. His feet press into your ribs, and with each strained breath you begin to yearn for your mate more and more. For his comforting touch. For the bond.

“Ralak…”

——

“Ralak.” She sings, making him stop dead in his tracks. “A word.”

His ears tuck back and he looks at Tonowari, who gives him a begrudged nod. Ralak sighs and turns around, fixing his mask of indifference tightly to his face. He remains silent, his hand practically bonded to his spear.

“Still tight lipped, hm? Come now, tak. That is no way to treat your karyu.” She speaks in a condescending tone, approaching him warily.

Ralak nearly takes the bait, a heat growing in his chest so hot it makes his jaw tense. How dare she call herself that? To taint such a word? He swallows, taking a single, deep breath to recenter himself as he looks away from her.

“I have to admit.” She steps towards him, the crown of her head meeting the bow of his shoulder. “You have grown into a fine man. You are taller than me now.”

Ralak just looks down at her, still as stone, his mind consumed with the fact that he could be on his way home to you but this…vile creature is keeping him away. But he will do what he needs to keep you safe, even if it means to tolerate this for the time being.

With no reaction, Ay’ana grows frustrated and begins circling him, a single finger tracing around his body.

“You know…My body still yearns for you.” She speaks with a sultry voice, stopping at his side and bringing herself to the tips of her toes to whisper in his ear, “...especially when I’m in heat.”

For a second, Ralak succumbs to her tactics, the ones she used to use on him years ago. A memory, forcibly resurfaced, reminding him of the way she whispered in his ear on that night. It makes him feel so small. Impotent. But only for a second. Ralak recoils, stepping back to create distance between them. He towers over her, dwarfing this small, lanky woman, regaining his confidence and power.

“Is that all?” He growls, looking her dead in the eye—facing his past with no fear.

Facing the reason why he lived in a bottle before he met you. You. You. He can feel you. He can feel you yearn for him and he’s ready to come home to you. For this to be over.

He’s too focused on you to even notice Ay’ana’s face of shock. Shock to know that she’s been releasing her pheromones this entire time and he’s been completely oblivious to them. Which only means one thing.

“You’re mated.” She gasps.

And he’s back.

Staring at a mirror now that he is, too, in a state of shock. Ralak’s heart leaps out his chest, beating so hard that Ay’ana can hear it. How could she know that? He watches as a grin spreads across her face, ear to ear. She knows she’s got him now, despite the jealousy bubbling inside her. She could use this to her advantage—it didn’t matter to her that he’s called for, after all.

“Using tsaheylu for such useless things.” She bellows a wicked laugh, which fades out when she sees an even more serious look on his face. A look that tells her he’s trying to mask something more, something deeper. “Oh? Is there more to it?” The twitch of his brows and quick flare to his nostrils reveals the truth. “I have to know. What is it, hm?” She nears him once more, two fingers walking up his chest. “Come now, you were never this hard to read.”

Ralak remains silent, focusing on slowing his heart rate.

“Is she ill?” She asks as she searches his eyes, fingers grazing across his quivering jawbone. “No, no. It’s not that.” She sighs, stepping closer and closer until his back hits the wall. He moves his head away from her touch, still looking her in the eye—refusing to be the first to break eye contact. Her eyes light up and her ears stand tall.

“She carries your child, doesn’t she?” Her eyes gloss over green with envy. “Pregnant.”

Ralak swallows his spit, the lump in the column of his throat quickly undulating.

“There it is. I knew you would make strong babies.” Her hand slips down his chest, slithering over his abs and down to the twine of his loincloth, causing him to jolt. “Ralak.” She moans his name slowly, “Oh, Ralak. The last I see of you, you were barely covered in this vile ink with no one at your side…and now you are mated and a father to be.” Her fingers tickle the raised skin on his most intimate tattoo. “I have always longed to be bred by you.” Her fingers attempt to burrow themselves under the band of his loincloth.

“Enough.” He lets out a deep growl, shoving her away, dropping his weapon in doing so. She loses and quickly regains her balance in a few seconds, throwing herself on him. He grabs her by the wrists, restraining her with ease so that she can’t come any closer to him.

“Perhaps we need to renegotiate the terms so that you are a part of them, yes?” Her voice is full of desperation, trembling as she strains against him. “How does that sound numeyu? You know we have a population problem, right? We could all use you.”

“I have no interest in being your stud.” Ralak spits, forcefully shoving her away, causing her to stumble back and for her head to hit the table.

He moves quickly, picking up his spear off the ground and heading for the door. She lunges at him, dagger unsheathed from her hip and armed in her hand, whilst her other arm snakes around his throat to pull him onto the ground.

During the struggle, Ralak drags her off his back, resulting in a nasty gash from his collarbone and down his shoulder blade. He hisses from the burn, instantly assuming an offensive stance to plunge his spear through. Ay’ana returns the hiss, crouching with her bloodied dagger ready to strike.

“I will kill you.” Ralak threatens, nearing the pointed tip closer and closer to her chest. “And I will take great joy in doing so.”

“Is that right?” Ay’ana hisses, tail wagging in excitement with unsettling smile spread across her face. She looks as if she’s toying with him. As if she’s playing a game and she’s winning. “Let me have a taste of you.”

“Nìtam! [Enough!]” Tonowari roars as he yanks back the curtain, instantly averting Ay’ana’s attention to him. Perhaps it was her roots calling her to respond to her true leader. Varang appears beside him with a scowl stained on her face, displeased with her subordinate. One more move and the treaty would’ve already been broken.

“Easy, Tak.” Tonowari murmurs, and Ralak relaxes into position next to him, blood trickling down his chest and back.

“Come with me.” Varang snarls at Ay’ana, seizing her by the queue.

“Night has fallen. We will take our leave.” Tonowari speaks roughly, trying his hardest to contain his anger as he rests a careful hand resting on Ralak—leading him out the room.

“In another ten years, Olo’eyktan.”

Tonowari grunts as he and the rest push past the swarming ash people. As soon as they’re far enough, he stops Ralak and has Ronal safely look at his wound. It’s weeping and open, prone to a nasty infection if not dressed immediately. She unclasps her medicine pouch from her hip, and retrieves a small bottle of iridescent liquid, a viscous concoction of herbs, and a needle and thread.

“Come, son.” Tonowari speaks softly, ripping the cork from the small bottle with his back teeth and spitting it on the ground. “That vonvä’.”

Ralak sits on the nearest rock, elbows propped on his knees and head hung low to hide his face. Jake and Neytiri observe in silence, cringing as Tonowari douses the gash with the liquid as Ronal prepares the needle and thread.

Ralak groans, biting down tooth on tooth.

Tonowari leaves a little left in the bottle, offering it to Ralak who is visibly trying to keep it together. He plucks the bottle from Tonowari’s hand and knocks it back, puffing out a sigh.

“Keep still.” Ronal orders, driving the wooden needle through his skin.

Ralak grumbles, letting his head hang between his knees and his hair fall forward. At this point Neytiri looks away, but Jake can’t. His eyes are plastered to the scene unfolding before him as he recognizes his son-in-law’s strength and perseverance.

“That should hold until we are back.” She declares, gathering her supplies and stuffing them back into her pouch.

“Irayo [thank you], Ronal.”

“You’re strong, boy.” Jake mumbles, patting Ralaks back as he gets up. “Anyone care to explain what the hell happened back there?”

Ralak just shakes his head, leaving Tonowari to speak for him. “I will explain on the way back. You all have someone waiting for you.”

Ralak’s ears spring up at the thought of you, giving him a burst of energy to spring to his feet, gather his gear and lead the trek himself. The women walk behind him, concerned about his wound. Tonowari and Jake are left at the back, sharing a look before they begin their journey.

——

“Fuck. Fuck.” You pant, looking down at your trembling hands that sink into the bed through double vision. You sway from side to side, trying to take steady, deep breaths, but the pressure between your legs is starting to make you panic. The possibility that you may have to do this alone is quickly becoming a reality.

Zu’té is the one doing the pacing now, unable to sit still in his spot for much longer. He has long abandoned his woven pieces, burning lines into the patio floor as he walks back and forth outside—conflicted on his next move.

He doesn’t want to go against your wishes and call a healer without you requesting it. But he must keep his word to Ralak—to keep you safe—which means calling for a healer. He chews on the toughened skin on his thumb, listening to your continuous whimpers and whines. By the sounds of it, you’re in active labour now, ready to give birth at any moment.

——

A few hours have passed since they started the trek back home. Everyone has fallen into new positions that work for them. Ralak, eager to be at his pregnant mate’s side, leads the pack, clearing the path for the others. Jake and Neytiri stay not too far behind him, keeping a vigilant eye on their surroundings. Tonowari and Ronal are far at the back, linked together as she trudges on despite her extreme weariness.

“Let us take another break.” Tonowari speaks quietly to his mate, hand on her stomach. They share a look, speaking to one another with their eyes. She doesn’t want to hold up the group much more than she already has.

“No. We are almost there—ugh!” Ronal lets out a sudden groan, clutching her stomach as she doubles over.

Everyone stops dead in their tracks, turning around with wide eyes. Tonowari supports her, and carefully walks her over to a nearby fallen log, lowering her down onto it. She takes a few deep breaths as Neytiri and Jake rush over to her.

“Is it time?” Neytiri asks, crouching down next to her. Ronal nods once, completely in tune with her body and aware of exactly what’s happening.

Which is why she insisted they continue, or else she won’t make it back in time. Ralak watches at a distance, his face contorting with sheer worry. No, borderline distress. He looks almost mortified, but not for the reasons that one may think. They all know why, it's obvious. If Ronal is in labour,

…that means you probably are too.

“Go ahead.” Ronal pants, beads beginning to form at her temple.

But Ralak doesn’t move. He can’t move. He’s at conflict with himself. An internal battle of knowing that he should stay and help, even though he really wants to go—needs to go.

“We got it, son. Go to her.” Jake huffs as he helps Tonowari lift Ronal to carry her. “Go on!” He shouts, prompting Ralak to look to his father figure for approval, to which he meets him with a quick nod before averting his attention back to his labouring mate. And with Neytiri’s soft smile of reassurance, Ralak takes a few steps back before turning his heel and booking it home.

——

“Haah…holy fuck—holy fuck.” You moan, feeling another contraction start up and the pressure between your legs intensify.

This one has you on your hands and knees, clutching the bed head so hard your nails dig into the wood. It’s undeniable now. This baby is coming whether you like it or not. And as the contraction reaches its peak, you scream.

“Zu’té!” It pains you to cry out for his name and not your mates. Hearing your call—your permission to enter—he finally bursts through the door and rushes to your side.

“I’m here, I’m here.” He’s out of breath and on edge.

“I think—oh god—I think the baby’s coming!” You cry out, swooping your hand between your legs to try and feel what’s happening.

“Shit. Like now? Like right now?” Zu’té panics as he watches you, hands hovering around you, unsure of what to do.

“I d-don’t know! I—I don’t—I want Ralak! Fuck, fuck. I want lak!” You cry out in sheer agony. “I want my mate. I-I need him!”

“Y/n. Eywa.” Desperation is potent in his voice now.

The fact that you’re calling out for his brother means the time has come and he feels like a fool to have let this get this far without stepping in. He swallows and takes a breath to calm down, just as your contraction ends and leaves you sobbing on your knees.

“I’m getting the healer.” He says firmly, turning his heel to leave but you grab his wrist before he can walk away.

“No! Don’t leave…Please don’t leave me alone.” You beg, fear glossing over your eyes until it spills onto your cheeks once more. He looks at you with furrowed brows, lamenting for you. Now he’s really conflicted, because this means…it’s him or no one.

“Ah, shit. Shit. Uhm.” He rakes his fingers through his scalp, thinking about his next move. He’s seriously considering going regardless, able to see the situation for what it is.

“Please, Zu’té.” You plead weakly, slowly lowering yourself onto your behind and off your knees, leaning back into the bedhead.

“Okay, okay.” He nods and you let go of his wrist, immediately using your hand to support your stomach. You let your eyes close, they’re swollen and heavy. “Uh–right, right.”

For some reason he can’t stop repeating himself twice. Perhaps it’s his way of keeping grounded. He heads straight for the bucket of water and rag to bring it over to you. He dips the rag into the water, and wrings it out. You barely open your eyes at the sound of the bucket making contact with the floor, and see that he’s nearing you with a damp cloth and raised brows. He’s waiting for your go ahead.

“Yes.” Your voice is hoarse and trembling.

Zu’té begins to wipe away the sweat that’s dripping in your eyes, your forehead, neck and chest. Dipping the rag back into the water, he wrings it out once more and wipes down your shoulders and arms. You can’t help but sit there and close your eyes, allowing him to do it all, exhausted.

Feeling something press against your lips, you open your eyes in a daze. Zu’té holds a cup of water to your mouth, and you drink ardently, gasping for air and closing your eyes when it’s emptied. Sleep calls to you, taking you as you barely manage to mutter out a weak, “...thank you.”

Zu’té calculates another five minutes before your next contraction, giving him enough time to fetch a fresh pail of water—something absolutely necessary for the birth. He leaves you sat up against the bedhead, rag on your forehead as you sleep. But not even three minutes go by before he hears your languid moan.

Abandoning the bucket, he rushes back into the marui, finding you standing and holding onto the marui stilt with one hand as the other tugs at the strap of your top. Seeing you try to undress has him stopping in his tracks and turning his head to look away.

“Y/n—”

“Ughhaa—” You grunt, untethering the knot of your top. Your body is trying to get comfortable for the birth of your son now, and these pieces of cloth feel suffocating. “Get out!”

With that, Zu’té turns and retreats back to the patio, hands on his head as he begins to make his plan. If he flew on his skimwing, he could make it to the village and back with a healer in about ten minutes. But would that be enough time? What if you didn’t have ten minutes? Your pained groan turns into a howl and it makes his ears twitch.

By the sound of that, you might not even have five minutes.

“Come on, baby brother. Don’t make me do this. Please. Don’t make me go back in there. Oh shit—I’m going to have to go back in there, aren’t I? Eywa. Eywa. Okay—It’s okay. I can do this. Childbirth. It’s just childbirth. Right? Right.”

Zu’té tries to convince himself that he’s capable of this despite this not being what he signed up for.

“Okay, Toto. Just do it. Go in there.” Zu’té sounds breathless as he speaks to himself, turning around to face the door. He hears your whimper and his jaw tightens. “Shit. Okay. Right.”

Just as he raises his hand to pull back the curtain, he hears a winded voice.

“Brother.”

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saetoshis · 6 hours

Text

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ SIN OF A THIN WALL | toji fushiguro

⋆୨୧˚ SUMMARY: your roommate has complaints about the thin wall you have to share in your apartment

⋆୨୧˚ MATURE CONTENT WARNINGS:

fem reader, v nasty sex, voyeurism [?], solo masturbation, [toji says 'yes ma'am' once], dry humping, nipple play, oral f. receiving, squirting, size kink, creampie, MDNI.

toji had just about had enough already.

night after night through the thin, reverberating shared wall of your room next to him, he listens - whether he wants to or not. it starts out with a little creak of your bed here and there, and he knows it’s about to get noisy. he’ll cover his head with a pillow to drown it out, but it’s not enough. he’ll put headphones on, turn up the tv, anything, but it just can’t muffle your sounds well enough.

so he hears it all - night after night. your voice-cracked whimpers, your little jolts that make the wooden frame squeak, the slick sounds as you play with yourself, even your little whiny curses and foul words.

it’s such a pain to him. he just wants to sleep - but, fuck, is it impossible to relax with an uncomfortable, stiff tent in his pants. he tries to choke it down, to remind himself how wrong it is to get turned on from such a thing, to just let out a deep sigh and hope that those little sheep will come dancing by soon - but they never do.

it gets irritating after a few days - he tries to rest, but ends up wide awake with an eye on the clock in sheer bafflement at how long you’ve been keeping it up for. either she’s ridiculously horny or she’s just trying to piss me off, toji thinks. how the fuck is she not done yet?

he grumbles under his breath, feeling exasperated and exhausted. your bed rocks noisily again, and he can hear some soft moaning - he ponders what to do, though, he doesn’t wanna barge in, of course.

“damn it,” toji mutters between a disgruntled groan as he stands up decisively, sauntering in just his boxers towards the door to your room and he doesn’t hesitate to rap on the wood. he keeps his voice low, “y’know what time it is? i’m tryin’ to sleep.”

toji’s met with no response, and his eyebrows furrow in consternation as he presses his ear to the door. did she not hear me?

“hey, you listenin’?” toji grunts out, a little louder, letting out a heavy sigh as his head hangs down in a slouch. the fuck is going on? he hesitates, tensing his jaw as he thinks, what do i do, just walk in? he knocks again, “c’mon already. answer or i’m gonna come in…”

he waits a few seconds, then a few more - nothing. toji’s eyebrows tense up as he rubs his eyes half in exhaustion, half in irritation. he curses under his breath, grabbing the door handle abruptly. “this is fuckin' ridiculous, i’m comin’ in.”

one push of the door on its hinges brings to reveal your half-clothed, shaky figure splayed on your bed with your fingers stuffed between your thighs. you jolt at his brooding presence in your doorway, hands quickly moving to cover what's visible to him, “s-shit, can you not?”

toji sighs heavily, looking down at the floor, the ceiling, anywhere. “i knocked, i spoke up, you didn’t hear. i’m tired, i jus’ wanna sleep but all the noise is keepin’ me up. for fuck’s sake, finish up or go to bed.”

it's hard to describe the way your head tilts in bewilderment at the same time as you freeze up, realizing that he's been hearing you this whole time - what's the main feeling? is it vulnerability? surprise? or maybe hope that he's come to help you? maybe all three at once?

"sorry, didn't realize the walls were so thin," you murmur awkwardly, both of your gazes evading one another in the tense energy of the room. what's worse is you can feel the throb of your clit from how dangerously close you were by the time he walked in, and you almost can't resist the instinct to let your fingers return to what they were doing before. "didn't mean to be a bother."

"it's fine," toji mutters in a rasped, sleepy voice, yet there's something else woven into his tone that you can't quite pin down. he lets his eyes wander a bit, it's rather dark after all, so maybe you won't notice him taking a quick look. "just- y'know, keep it down, maybe."

you nod gently, glancing around, not sure where to look - certainly at him is not the answer - where his arms are crossed, biceps pushed even larger against himself and laced with veins. certainly not where his boxers sit on his hips, the v-shape of his lower abs tantalizing your imagination as to what's beneath that waistband.

and certainly not where the slightest bit of a smirk is pulling at his scarred lips as his mind plays the same little game as yours. toji is acutely aware of your body language - your chest still rising and falling pretty quickly, thighs squeezing together as if you're focusing all your energy on not touching. maybe he wouldn't mind helping you just this once...

"y'know, maybe-" toji starts, tilting his head as his eyes and words both trail off in second-thought. he glances back at you, clears his throat and rasps out, "nah, never mind. that'd be a lil' weird."

"why would it be weird?" you murmur quietly, shifting on the bed all antsy-like as if you could sense what he was going to say. "you can say it. i won't judge, you know..."

"well," toji hesitates for a brief moment again, then steps forwards to the end of your bed and his big, calloused hands find their place on the wooden frame. he rests his weight forwards on his palms, and you can see what sort of expression he's wearing now that he's closer. it's intriguing you. "either you stop doin' this late at night and find some time durin' the day so it's not keepin' me up, or... y'know, we could do it together."

"together?" both your lungs and your thighs constrict viscerally, all air and sense leaving your body as the weight of his words lays on you like bricks. toji nods. he's serious? your face contorts in an indescribable way - maybe ecstasy, maybe shock. "you're serious?"

"ah, i mean, i didn't say that just to fuck around with you," toji lets out a little chuckle between his soft sneer, and you can tell he's being actually serious. his eyes glaze over your body, then meet yours again. "mutual benefit, y'know? not tryin' to lose any more sleep. if pleasing you means i get some peace n' quiet at night, i don't mind."

"okay," is all you can spit out, paired with a blank-minded yet also fervently overthinking nod. you're not sure what to do now - all you know is that there's an eager pressure building up between your thighs that you won't be able to rid yourself of until his hands are on you. your head tilts as you shift anxiously on the sheets, "you mean, like, right now?"

"yeah, right now," toji lets out another dry chuckle as he maneuvers to kneel in front of you on the plush mattress. he leers down at where you're sitting just inches from him, looking all small and pretty with your thighs keening together. his thumb finds your chin, and he leans in titillatingly. "tell me how you like it."

"however you want," you sigh out the words in need, eyes flitting over his green ones, then his scar, then his lips, then his eyes again. it's when he slowly lets his lips drag over yours, then kisses, that you melt into him. your hands find his shoulders, dragging up towards the back of his head to flit through his hair. his big hand cradles your head gently yet full of want, and all you can do is whine, "fuck."

"i know, i know," toji mutters through a little grin, letting breathy sighs escape between the wanton kiss that seems to get hotter and messier each time it happens in succession. he keens closer to your body, letting you slowly laze onto your back on the sheets. his fingers glide along the strap of your bra, inching further behind you to unclasp it with a murmured, "let me see you."

your lungs pant shallowly as he watches closely at the way your tits spill out of your bra once it's strewn onto the floor, surely to be forgotten. the way he almost groans at the sight is enough to make your spine flicker with little waves of euphoria. you want him to touch you so badly you might die. you breathe out in a heave, "please- don't stop kissing me."

"yes, ma'am," toji jeers as he shifts your thighs to either side of his hips, and he presses himself forwards to let you feel just how fucking hard you're making him. he leans down, kissing you fervently, now with little flicks of his tongue against yours and soft grunts. "feel what you did to me?"

"mhm," you pull back and nod, hands grazing his chest and his arms, wholly taking in each dip and curve of pure muscle on his frame. you consider whether or not you're possessed by the way you mindlessly take his hand in yours, sliding it down to your panties to let him feel along the slick mess coating the fabric. "feel what you did to me?"

"fuck, you're nasty," toji pants out between a little grin, rocking his hips once or twice against yours as his hands paw at the plushness of your breasts. what jolts you the most is how heavy his cock feels against you, and you can't help but shudder when you look down at the bulge urging to press through his boxers. "y'like that? like when i grind on you? want me to put it in already?"

"yeah, mhm," you nod in furor, practically losing yourself over just the thought of it. toji brings his thumbs to gently toy with your nipples, as if testing to see what makes you squirm the most. it's when you let out a little whine paired with a big shudder that he smirks, "sensitive there, huh? what if i keep playin' with 'em? you gonna get wetter for me?"

"yeah, turns me on- fuck," you whimper out airily, half-moaning half-wincing when his fingers tweak the buds purposefully. what makes your head spin is when he presses open-mouthed, messy kisses along your jaw, your neck, all the way down to your chest - and it's when he trades his fingers for his mouth that you're grasping his hair, panting hard and begging for friction between your thighs. "toji, please, need you."

"m' gonna get there, promise," toji murmurs between a pearled sneer as he lets his tongue drag on your sensitive nipple over and over again, his free hand grazing down your curves to find refuge between your thighs. he drags his thumb mind-dizzyingly slow along your clit above your panties, and hums, "wanna see how big a mess i can get you to make first."

"that's mean," you whine out impatiently, giving him innocent little eyes in the hopes that he'll slip your panties to the side and just fucking give it to you. but he doesn't do that - he kisses his way down your stomach, all the way down to the damp spot on the fabric clinging to your hips.

"nah, i'm doin' you a favor. gotta get you all wet n' needy first so i can give it to you the way you want it," toji's demeanor changes to one of pure focus as his fingers slip your panties off your hips, his eyes glazing over the slick already donning your folds and inner thighs. he circles his thumb over your bare clit and groans, "that all for me? bet it's all sweet, too, fuck."

you let out a shaky gasp when you feel him press a slew of kisses on your clit, tongue swiping here and there to get a feel for what makes you shiver. it's when he's licking circles, experimentally slipping two fingers between your walls and curling forwards that you're letting out a whimper and pleading for more - there it is.

"you like both, huh? want me to fuck you with my fingers n' suck on your clit, yeah?" the little smirk he flashes you before attending back to his ministrations is enough to send you reeling, thighs wantonly tightening around his head as little jolts shiver up your spine. his fingers fill you in a way your own never could, pressing against the spot that is always just out of reach for you. "losing it this bad over just my fingers? yours don't hit it here, huh? no wonder you've been up so late the past few nights."

it doesn't take long until you're panting in hitched breaths, grasping his hair, shuddering and whining and grinding your hips into his mouth in a desperate attempt to fall over the edge. "don't stop, please- fuck, gonna make me-"

"cum? yeah? you wanna cum on my fingers n' make a mess on my face?" toji leers out the words before almost groaning at the way you're mindlessly rolling your hips onto his tongue, face all tense and mouth agape as you feel tingles start to spread through your spine. all your little moans of 'like that, just like that, don't stop' make his cock twitch in his boxers and his fingers fuck into you just a little faster.

"g-god, oh- gonna cum, gonna cum," you're whining through every little jolt of your body as you shiver all over, fist tightening on the roots of his hair and he can't help but let out a low moan himself. his eyes glaze over the pretty face you make when you finally reel over the edge, and he can feel the slick mess start to smother his palm and chin.

"oh, fuck yeah, just like that," toji jeers as he keeps up the work with his fingers, watching more and more flicks of liquid start to cover his hand each second he continues. it's when your thighs pull together out of sheer overstimulation that he's slipping his fingers out, eyes mesmerized by just how much of a mess he made of you. "fuck, wanna see you do that again on my cock right now."

"c'mere," toji wastes no time before pushing down the waistband of his boxers, letting his cock free of its restraints and into his fist instead. you flit your eyes down towards his hips, watching him give himself a few soft, moan-inducing pumps where he's leaned over you. "think you can take it? wanna see you nod yes."

"yeah, yeah, please," you whimper out now at just the thought of being so full, feeling things your own fingers wish they could do for you. a languid whine leaves your lips when he presses the head of his cock on your clit, sliding down before rocking his hips forwards to bottom out. it's indescribable the way you both moan, immediately panting out and exchanging little grins from how fucking good it already feels.

"jesus- fuck, you're so wet," toji grunts out as he leans down, caging you between his big arms and slowly letting his hips rut forwards, backwards, then again, then again. the head hits a spot that makes your thighs shiver on each side of him, and you can't control the mewed whimpers leaving your lips anymore. "always- shit, secretly wanted to do this to you."

"y-yeah? how long?" you manage to mutter out between moans in time with each subsequently faster rut of his hips, each heavy rock of himself into you that has you both tensing up.

"god, the whole time. if you think i was layin' there- fuck, tryin' to go to sleep, you're mistaken," toji's breath hitches, his hair falling messily over his forehead as his muscles tauten and stretch with each thrust. his hands drag down to grip your waist, holding you stable as he angles deeper. "got so hard thinkin' about you touchin' yourself like that. was hard not to bust down the door n' fuckin' give it to you."

"mm- fuck," you whine in response, and he can feel you get wetter and enclose him even tighter when he fucks hard against that spot he now knows you love. your hands desperately grasp the sheets, his wrists, anything you can hold onto to keep yourself on planet earth. "thought about you while i was doing it. w-wanted you to hear. thought about you getting off to me..."

"oh, god, you're so fuckin' hot," toji's head cranes back for a moment, and you can see his abs viscerally shudder when you tighten around his shaft. he's mouth-agape, panting hard, eyebrows tense and rutting his hips hard enough to make the whole bed creak and shake. "swear i heard you moan my name once- jesus, was so hot. ended up caving n' beat off to your lil' noises, couldn't help it."

"i don't even- mm, remember saying it. just so natural," you mew back, sweat breaking along your skin as you shudder and lose more and more sanity with each heavy rock of his hips.

"do it again," toji's tone is heavy, rasped, demanding. his eyebrows are tense, hands ever-so-slightly shaky, motions getting erratic and faster, more messy. his grunts mix with moans, mix with shallow breaths, mix with the lewd wet noises and smacks and shake of the rickety bed and you can tell he's almost there. his eyes meet yours and his breath shudders, "wanna hear you say it again."

"yeah, yeah, i'll do it, toji," you whimper and your voice is shaky from his flexible, unstable tempo, but all that matters now is remembering his name. you lose all sense of everything else, letting out mew after whimper after moan of 'yes, yes, fuck, yes, toji, yes, toji,' and he feels like he's on cloud nine just listening to it.

"fuck yeah, there you go. keep moanin' my name for me, gonna give it to you," toji's keening for more, grunting and panting and letting out heavy ragged breaths each time his cock fucks against that spot that makes you squeeze him even tighter. it's when he leans back down, caging you between his arms and breathing hard against your cheek that he bottoms out, shuddering and groaning as ropes of white spill between your walls and slick around the base of his cock. "jesus, fuck..."

you both stay immobile for a few seconds, feeling every twitch of his cock and every tautening around his shaft in almost slow motion. you're both panting hard, almost shaking.

"jesus christ," toji is the first to let out a leering chuckle, one with a mix of both astonishment and sheer pleasure. you follow suit, trying to catch your breath as you both eye the mess stickying the sheets and each other's bodies. you're definitely going to have to shower.

you let out a little giggle, and toji's face quirks up in question. you smile, letting your body fall back into its normal rhythm. "do you wish you had walked in on me earlier? 'cause i do."

toji chuckles, too, shaking his head and attempting to tame back the unruly mess that is his hair. "nah..." he leans down, letting his thumb flit along your cheek. "doesn't matter, cause now we got all the time in the world."

2024 SAETOSHIS. do not copy/repost. erm @diorsbrando if u read this n give me a review i will forever b in ur debt i know ur a toji lover pls send help if this is mischaracterized .. i need assistance but am too impatient to allow beta reading JAKLALLALAA

#this is LONGGG for me whoops got carried away thinking abt toji #hes my jjk fave to be fair ><#guys im actually proud of this pls give me reviews #I NEED #toji fushiguro #toji smut #toji x reader #toji x you #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro smut #toji fushiguro x you #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #writing

221 notes · View notes

mountttmase · 15 hours

Text

What I Need

Note - the longest fic I’ve ever written 😭 I’ve added a little ‘break’ halfway through so if you did want to stop and come back to read the rest later it’s easier to see where you’ve left off but if you want to read it all in one go feel free 🩷 thank you @carlottawllms for the initial request and I’m sorry it took so long to get to 😭 and thank you to all my besties for your help with this, I couldn’t do it without you 🩷 I know it’s long but feedback would be appreciated immensely and I promise to never write a fic this long again 😌

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 20.5k

Warnings - angst and fluff

Just once you thought you might be treated to a well deserved lie in this Saturday but unfortunately the universe had other plans for you, just like always.

Your phone had been vibrating for a few minutes on the nightstand and you knew it was someone trying to call you before a barrage of texts were sent your way. Letting them fly in before you picked your phone up to see who it was and what they wanted even though you knew exactly who it was and why they were pestering you at this ungodly hour.

You already make it feel like it’s not worth living you thought, but before you could think about anything else his photo flashed up on your screen as he tried to call you again and you begrudgingly hit accept before you were permanently etched into his bad books.

‘Hello?’

‘About bloody time y/n, what the hell have you been doing?’ He scolded you. His voice hushed but you could tell he wanted to shout at you for not picking up and you rolled your eyes at his stupid attitude that you didn’t need this time of the morning.

‘Sleeping, Mason. You know what probably most of the uk population is doing right now since it’s stupid o’clock on a bloody Saturday’

‘Well I don’t give a shit, I need you. How fast do you think you can get here?’

‘I don’t know, Mase-‘ you started, not ready to leave the comfort of your bed just yet but he was cutting you off as soon as he realised what you were about to say.

‘No, y/n don’t do this. Did you not see my message? Code red yeah, that means I need you here now’

‘I’m sure it’s not that bad, you big girls blouse’

‘She’s offering to make me breakfast. Pancakes if you please’ he told you, his voice an octave higher as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying to you and you had to hold in a giggle at how ridiculous he sounded.

‘You love pancakes’

‘No I love your pancakes, there's a difference. I don’t know what she puts in hers she could drug me for all I know. Or make the whole wheat ones like a maniac’

‘I mean it’s hard to fuck up pancakes im sure they’re-‘

‘Can we forget about the bloody pancakes, how long till you’re here?’ He demanded, but you were already up and pulling a hoodie on before stuffing yourself into your shoes.

‘I’ll be five minutes’ you sighed, grabbing your keys and walking out the door as Mason repeatedly told you to hurry up until you had to hang up as you began to drive.

How it became the routine of you bailing him out of these situations was a long story.

Mason had been your best friend since you were little. Your dad being one of his first football coaches and even though you went to separate primary schools you still saw him most weekends when you helped out and sometimes joined in with the games. Mason teaching you how to kick the ball properly and you knew when you scored your first goal he let you win.

You eventually stopped going to practice, not seeing Mason at all for a year or so until you both wound up going to the same secondary school and it’s like you picked up where you left off.

You watched each other grow from awkward little teenagers to full grown adults and as much as you tried to keep your friendship the same you knew it would never be normal.

You went the usual route; college, uni, big office job in a fancy company while Mason lived his dreams and changed right before your eyes. Subtle changes that came over time meaning you never really caught onto them but the shy polite boy you once knew was gone.

He was cocky and sure of himself. Cheeky in a way that all the girls loved and he used it to his advantage to get exactly what he wanted. You weren’t blind, you know he was handsome but the way he threw his money and looks about just to get into some poor girls knickers made you sick sometimes but you stuck by him through it all. Feeling like you were the only person who had his best interest at heart most of the time.

Mason didn’t have friends, he had yes men. People to tell him he looked good and that it didn’t matter what he did or what he said to people because they’d clear it up for him afterwards. Leaving his picture perfect image intact so the world still thought he was a good boy even though he was anything but.

You didn’t know when, but you too had fallen into that category. Running around after him like he was a toddler that had just learned to walk, trying to protect him from crashing into things he shouldn’t be and picking up all of his mess after him for little to no thanks. You didn’t even know why you did it at this point. A sense of loyalty maybe? Or wanting to keep him away from certain people that you knew only used him. You knew he was a grown man at the end of the day and he was old enough to look after himself but still you carried on.

Even the routine of helping him kick girls out of his house was a mystery to you. The first time was a mistake when you’d turned up heartbroken on his doorstep after a failed exam and the girl he’d managed to score that night made a swift exit much to his satisfaction. Telling you he’d been trying to get rid of her for an hour but she wouldn’t budge and you were the perfect solution.

When he called you up and asked if you could do something similar for him the next week you refused at first. Thinking it was weird and you were worried about the girls feelings but he wore you down like he always did until the next thing you knew you were fake crying on his door mat as he ushered a pretty blonde girl out the door with the fake promise of calling her back later that day.

You must have helped him throw at least 30 girls out now. A catalogue of excuses at your disposal and even though you knew it was weird, it had merged itself in as just another part of your friendship and soon enough you were pulling onto his drive and housing yourself out of your car.

You rang the doorbell to make it look more realistic, the door opening a few moments later to Mason who looked more than relieved to see you and you quickly made your way inside to start the act.

‘What do you want? Dead relative, dog or something worse?’ You asked him, pinching your cheeks so they looked pinker before squirming yourself in the eyes with your water bottle. You’d tried and tested the lot but the sports cap you found was the best at making it look like actual tears.

‘Dogs fine, she’s been yapping on about hers all morning and showing me pictures so-‘

‘You’re so cruel, Mason’ you remarked, hoping to make him feel a little bit bad about what he was doing but you knew it was all in vain. He never did.

‘Just start crying before I make you, yeah?’ He laughed so you took the opportunity to get him back and wailed out the loudest fake cry you could muster right in his ear. The sound making him jump before he bounded you into his arms so you could cry into his neck and before you knew it, the sound of a very concerned but sweet sounding woman could be heard in the hallway.

‘Mason? Is everything okay?’

‘No really no’ he told her, the fake worry in his voice making you roll your eyes but you carried on sniffling to help him out. ‘This is my best friend and she’s had some awful news this morning’ he told her, walking you towards the living room so he could sit you on the sofa. ‘I’m really sorry to do this, her dogs just died and she needs me’

‘Oh my god’

‘Yeah she’s really not in a good way’ he confirmed, pulling you in closer and your cries went up in volume and you felt him pinch your side gently as if to tell you to tone it down.

‘Well can I help at all?’ She offered and you actually felt a little sorry for her. She seemed too sweet and you wondered how Mason had got his grubby little claws into her but you’d seen him on nights out and knew how he trapped women under his spell. You were just thankful that you were immune to his powers as if someone treated you like this you’d swing for them.

‘I think it’s best I just stay with her for now, but I’ll text you yeah? I’ve got your number saved?’

‘Oh, yeah okay then’ she uttered before the pair of them fled upstairs to get her things and within a few minutes he was with her at the door. Hearing the talk in hushed tones before he shut the door behind her but you let your cries continue.

‘Alright you can stop that now, sound makes my brain ache’ he groaned as she flopped down onto the sofa next to you and you laughed as you unhid your face from the cushion.

‘You’re welcome, by the way’ you told him. Bumping your shoulder into his as you sat up but he just rolled his eyes. You knew he was thankful even if he didn’t say it exactly but it would be nice to hear it sometime.

‘You fancy some breakfast? I’m in the mood for pancakes’ he winked but you just rolled your eyes at him. Pancakes sounded good to you too but you knew you’d be stuck making them.

‘Where’s Ace? He’s the only reason I’m here’ you asked, deflecting his question as you knew what he was asking and by the look he was giving you he wasn’t too happy about it.

‘Charming’ he scoffed before whistling and the sound of bounding paws made you smile until Ace was running in and jumping into your lap.

‘Hi baby’ you cooed, scratching over his head and trying to avoid the face licks he was sending your way but Mason was just looking at you like he was waiting for something.

‘So… what’s happening with the pancakes?’

‘Ace, your daddy is a very silly man, did you know that?’ You babbled but you could tell Mason was offended with what you’d said.

‘Don’t turn my son against me’

‘Do you want some pancakes, acey? Mumma will make you some’ you babbled too him, knowing there was no way for him to answer but from the look on his face you could that’s what he wanted.

‘Since when are you his mum’ Mason commented, trying to reach over to pet him but you wouldn’t let him. Jumping up so Ace could follow you and he just sighed and rolled his eyes.

‘Since I’m one of the only stable females in his life, okay? Don’t confuse him now’

You left Mason in the living room so you could make some pancakes. Your own belly rubbing as you hadn’t had a chance to think about breakfast this morning but thankfully he had everything in and as soon as he smelt them you heard him walking in to grab some.

‘Why are you making little ones?’ He questioned, grabbing some juice from the fridge and a couple of glasses.

‘They’re for ace’ you shrugged. Plating them up in his little doggy bowl and letting him tuck in before sorting yours and Masons out.

‘So he gets preferential treatment’

‘Do you ever have a day off?’ You muttered, wanting him to just give things a rest for five minutes but you could tell by his laugh he wouldn’t be letting up anytime soon.

‘Shut up, you love me’ he teased, poking you in the sides as he grabbed his plate and the feel of it angered you. He knew you hated being poked and prodded but he just carried on as he loved getting under your skin.

‘Not when you’re like this I don’t’ you sighed and even though you were half joking you had realised over the last few times you’d hung out that being around him was a chore sometimes. His usual playful comments had more venum behind them and now you couldn’t actually work out if he still liked you or not. Being around him never felt as good as it used to but whenever you got upset about it he’d tell you he was playing so you tried to think nothing more of it. Wondering if you were just hormonal or had forgotten how to take a joke.

Halfway through breakfast your thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell ringing. His eyes looking at you pleadingly as if he wanted you to go and get it but you remained firm and stared back at him.

‘Please, y/n. If it’s her she’ll have me talking for another half an hour. Just make her go away please’

‘Fine’ you huffed, getting up and storming to the door and you knew he was smiling from where he sat behind you. ‘I’m not doing the washing up though’

‘Hey, you make the mess you tidy it away’

‘Oh get lost’ you muttered under your breath, opening the door to what you expected to me the girl from earlier but thankfully it was just an Amazon delivery guy and you took the parcel with a smile before bidding him goodbye. ‘Mase? Its just an Amazon parcel you’re safe’

‘Ah amazing, can you open it for me? Should be just a charging cable’ he nodded as he stacked your plates and took them to the dishwasher, leaving you on your own to tear the box open but once you were in you wanted to vanish into thin air.

What you weren’t expecting was the red box that was sitting under the packing paper. The words thin feel jumping out at you first and you groaned loudly as he walked back over to you with a confused expression.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘You’re gross, I swear to god. Why did you make me open this?’ You huffed as you threw the box of condoms his way and he caught it with one hand before looking down with a smile.

‘Ah i forgot about these, got the ribbed ones this time to see if they make a difference’ he winked but you just made fake gagging noises as you walked out of the kitchen and back into the living room where he followed you in shortly after. Thankfully hiding the box out of sight from you.

‘What you doing next Friday? It’s Woody’s birthday so we’re going out and he asked me to ask if you wanna come’ he suddenly piped up with as you turned the tv on and the question took you by surprise.

‘Why didn’t he ask me himself?’

‘Cause he thinks you’re scary’ he winked ‘I’m kidding, he was pretty out of it last night when we made plans and he knew I’d probably see this morning’

‘So now it’s just standard that I kick the girls out your house for you? And all your friends know about it’

‘Pretty much. I’ve given you excellent reviews so if you get calls for similar from the others you can thank me later’ he teased but you weren’t in the mood to argue with him anymore. Huffing as you relaxed back into the sofa but he was soon poking your leg with his finger. ‘You coming next week or what? We’ve got a section booked so there won’t hundreds of people and you don’t know I’ll pay for you’

‘I’m not worried about paying, Mase’ you told him even though in the back of your mind you were a little bit. Mason like to go to the most expensive places and drink the most expensive things and you couldnt keep up with him half the time so the offer of him playing always settled your nerves when it was nights out like this. ‘Can I bring Olivia?’

‘Who’s Olivia?’

‘That new girl from work I was telling you about the other day? The one that’s just moved here and doesn't know anyone’ you told him before realising he probably hadn’t been listening the whole time you were talking about her before.

‘Is she hot?’

‘Mason-‘

‘Im kidding, I’m kidding, You can bring the pope for all I care’ he shrugged but you knew even if you asked him not to go near her he still would.

‘Mason I'm serious, I don’t want you anywhere near her okay? you’ll make things awkward at work and she wouldn’t touch you with with a barge pole anyway’

‘Wow y/n, I’m bruised’ he told you, hand on his heart to make it look like he was hurt but you could tell from the tone of his voice he didn’t care.

‘She’s got something going on with someone at work and if you ruin it I’ll kill you’ you threatened but he just held his hands up in mock surrender. ‘Who else is gonna be there?’

‘Oh the usual’ he told you. Reeling off some names you knew plus a few guys you don’t know and you knew what that meant. Mason wanted to try and set you up with someone he knew and even though you appreciate the sentiment you couldn’t think of anything worse.

At this point you thought he just felt sorry for you and was trying his hardest to find you anyone. You’d never had a boyfriend, never been in a real relationship or even been on that many dates. Any you did happen to go on always ended in the same way with that same awful message. I see you more as a friend than a girlfriend but I’d love to stay in touch and you didn’t know what was wrong with you. Even though Mason sometimes tried to help, you didn’t want to attract boys like him and his friends so any new boy he was suggesting you almost always never gave a proper chance.

‘I was thinking maybe I could put some feelers out? You know put a good word in with a few of the lads and see if any are interested-‘

‘I’d rather eat my own eyeballs than date one of your friends’ you told him, looking up to his horrified face and just like usual you kept poking the bear. ‘I only hang out with you cause you’re practically my brother, but the ones that choose to be your friends? I have serious questions for them’

‘And yet here you are, spending your morning with me. The main culprit’

‘Not for much longer, I’m meeting the guys at level up for lunch’ you smiled and he rolled his eyes in annoyance at you.

‘So you used me for my flour and eggs, that’s what I’m getting from this’

‘I wouldn’t even be here if you could just keep it in your pants for five seconds’ you reminded him, giving Ace a quick scratch between the ears before you stood up so you could get going but Mason being Mason had to get a few more digs in.

‘Oh whatever you big dork. Go play with your silly little puzzles then while I fend for myself’

Level Up was a gaming cafe in town and you met up with some friends from uni once a month to catch up and play some games but you mostly went there for the puzzles. There was something you loved about starting with a big pile of nothing and ending with something beautiful. It calmed you but almost made your brain feel alive at the same time so it was worth the teasing from Mason's end even if he did think it made you really uncool.

‘Whatever, Mase’ you mumbled, gathering your stuff up and making your way to the door before he could say anything else to upset you but you already felt like he’d ruined your day.

You managed to forget about him by the time you’d made it to Level Up. Catching up with your friends from uni, forgetting all that had happened that morning and getting lost in what you loved before making your way back home in the early afternoon. Feeling a lot better about yourself than you had that morning.

Your week at work flew by and soon enough it was Friday and you were at your flat with Olivia getting ready for your night out. Thankfully she’s said yes to coming and it had given you something to bond over that week. She too had moved to Manchester from down south after uni and was finding the transition a bit strange so you’d taken her under your wing in hopes you could make some more friends around here besides Mason. As much as you loved him you couldn’t stand to be around him for long periods of time anymore and wanted someone else to hang out with who didn’t make you feel so awful about yourself.

Once the pair of you were ready you set out for a cocktail bar first. Getting a few fancy pre drinks in whilst you chatted over some office gossip and just as you were leaving you posted a few stories to instagram. Seeing straight away that Mason had viewed them and almost as if by magic he was calling you.

‘Is that really what you’re wearing?’ He asked, the question making your heart drop as you looked down at your out outfit. Admittedly it was your usual but you wanted to be a bit comfortable and it was an outfit you’d always felt good in. His comments deflating you immediately and you felt like turning around and going home.

‘What’s wrong with it?’ You asked in a small voice. Wrapping your jacket around you a little bit further and Olivia looked at you with curious eyes but you just gave her a reassuring smile and carried on listening to Mason.

‘I mean it’s fine but like… well that’s it. It’s fine’ he admitted causing you to gulp back the frog in your throat so you didn’t burst into tears. ‘Look I’m trying my hardest here to help you get some but you need to start showing a bit of skin. Like if I’m interested in a girl I wanna see a bit more yeah? You need to advertise what you’ve got on offer or you’ll never get any business.’

‘I’m not looking for business and I certainly don’t want to look like someone you’re interested in’ you hit back, trying to make him hurt a little bit but you knew it was useless. Your comments were like water off a ducks back to him. ‘When I find the right guy he’ll love how I dress’

‘I’m a guy, y/n. We’re all the same’

‘Yeah well I’ve just about had enough of you tonight. I think I’d rather join a nunnery at this point’ you huffed, feeling Olivia tug on your arm as you made it to the door of the club. ‘Were just outside I’ll see you in a sec’

‘Your names on the door, they should just let you through’ he confirmed and once you’d said goodbye you were let in by the doorman who led you over to your section. meeting Mason's eyes almost immediately but his were soon on Olivia and you knew it was about to be a long night. ‘You gonna introduce me then?’

‘Hi to you too’ you quipped, watching him roll his eyes as he pulled you into his side for a quick hug but it was over before you knew it as his eyes settled on Olivia’s legs. ‘Mason this is Olivia, Olivia this is Mason’

‘Hi Olivia, y/n’s told me a lot about you’ he smiled and you knew that smile anywhere. He was about to flirt his little bum off even after you’d told him not too. ‘It's nice to finally meet you’

‘You too, thanks for letting me come’ she smiled sweetly, trying to be polite but you’d already warned her about Mason and his antics and you were hoping she could see right through him.

‘Oh you’re invited anytime’ he winked. ‘Can I get you a drink?’

‘Oh um… yeah sure, y/n-‘

‘’It’s alright I know her order off by heart’ he winked before nodding her over to the bar where she followed him after giving you a quick wave.

You took this time to go and say happy birthday to Woody, one of Mason's friends you actually liked as he’d been around almost as long as you had but just like you had fallen into the trap of letting him get away with things he probably shouldn’t.

‘What’s wrong?’ He asked, noticing your disgruntled expression fairly quickly but you just sighed before rubbing your head.

‘I explicitly told Mason not to flirt with her but he’s all over her, I can't stand that boy sometimes’ you huffed, motioning over to where he was standing with Olivia. His hand on her back and his eyes on her chest and you heard Woody sigh next to you.

‘You know what he’s like, sees a pair of boobs and forgets all logic’ he tried to joke but you weren’t in the mood.

You could see Olivia looking for you, your eyes meeting after a few seconds where she gave you the ‘help me’ look and you made your way straight over to get her. Gripping Mason's shoulder as you popped yourself in between them and even though you weren’t looking at him you could feel the annoyance radiating off of him.

‘Thanks for the drink Mase, we’re gonna go have a dance’ you interrupted, not missing the way he rolled his eyes at you as he tried to speak again but you’d already pulled Olivia away and onto the dance floor where you were both giggling as you got lost in the crowd.

‘Corr he’s a right flirt, you weren’t joking we’re you’

‘Honestly he should come with a warning label’ you groaned. ‘I’m really sorry, I did tell him to keep it in his pants’

‘Don’t worry about it, it’s quite flattering’ she giggled before wrapping an arm around your shoulders. ‘Let’s just keep it between us, by the looks of things he’s already moved on’ she told you and once you looked around you could see him chatting up some other girl and you decided to leave him to it. Rolling your eyes before you and Olivia got lost in the crowd and danced your little socks off.

When Olivia needed the loo, you let her know you’d go and get the pair of you some more drinks and once at the bar you were ambushed by the man you’d been trying to avoid for the last hour.

‘Thanks for that earlier, you jumped in at the wrong time just as usual’ Mason exclaimed but you just turned to smile at him sweetly and the action caught him off guard.

‘No thank you, for completely ignoring me when I asked you not to flirt with her as she’s seeing someone and I didn’t want to make things awkward at work’ you reminded him but you noticed how he shut his eyes before looking back at you with a smirk and you knew he was about to get nasty.

‘So let me get this straight, Olivia’s been working with you for what, three weeks?’ He commented and his comment surprised you as you didn’t think he’d been listening to you that well whenever you spoke about her but clearly he had.

‘Just about, yeah’

‘And she’s already seeing someone?’

‘I mean it’s not official but-‘

‘So she can find someone… but you’ve been there years and-‘

‘Oh get fucked Mase’ you spat, your blood boiling at what he was trying to say and you had to restrain yourself from throwing the drinks that had just been placed infront of you in his face. Mason had just put them on his tab though and you didn’t want to have to pay for your own so you just balled your fists up and tried to let it wash over you. ‘Are you getting a kick out of being an arsehole to me tonight or something?’

‘I’m just pointing out-‘

‘Well don’t, keep your big nose out of my business’ you told him, cutting him off mid sentence but you knew your comments hadn’t hurt him. Nothing ever did.

‘Low blow, y/n. Low blow. You’re lucky I’m not self conscious about it as I know it comes in handy’ he teased. Licking his lips to insinuate something sexual and you felt the disgust roll through you. ‘Come on, let’s go sit. We’ve barely spoken all night’

‘No, I don’t want to’

‘Hey, don’t be like that’ he frowned, but you were done talking to him tonight and you’d have been quite happy to have a few days' break from him after tonight’s interactions.

‘I’m not being like anything’ you huffed, seeing Olivia coming back out from the loo and you used this as your opportunity to get away from him. ‘Olivia’s back, I need to go’ you told him but you didn’t wait for a reaction. Picking up your drinks and making your way over to her but you weren’t in the mood to be happy anymore.

You found a quiet corner with Olivia so you could sit and bitch for a bit, mostly about Mason but you moved onto the topic of people you didn’t like at work until she opened up about Joe from the IT department who she’d got the eyes for. Apparently they’d hit it off from the first day when he handed her her laptop and she’d been falling for him ever since. Sometimes making up issues and submitting tickets for non-existent problems so they could talk and even though you thought it was cute and you were happy for her, Mason's words from before were playing in your mind.

Why did things like this never happen to you? Why could everyone else find someone but you were forever stuck on the sidelines waiting to be picked. You were used to it now and you told yourself you were over it but there were moments like now when it stung and you didn’t want to think about anything anymore.

If truth be told you didn’t want to even be in this club anymore and when Olivia had to make a call you used the time to your advantage to try and find Mason to let him know you were going. Not that it would have made much difference to him as you’d barely spoken all night but when you made your way back to your section you knew something was off.

‘What’s everyone laughing at?’ You asked as you approached Woody and a few of the other boys. Woody's appearing awkward but you could see all the other boys were loving whatever was happening. ‘Where’s Mason?’

‘Trust me, you don’t wanna know’ one of the guys laughed but you were just confused as to what was happening.

‘What?’ You asked, turning towards Woody in hopes he’d give you a bit more of an answer but you could tell he didn’t want to. An embarrassed and guilty look on his face as you raised your brows at him until he eventually spoke.

‘He’s um, he’s in the loo’ Woody gulped but you didn’t understand what the issue was.

‘Okay?’

‘He’s not alone in there’ he whispered and the realisation hit you like a truck.

‘You’re joking? Please tell me you’re joking’ you whispered back, eyes flying around the room to see if anyone else had caught on but thankfully it was just his little gaggle of yes men that were in on it.

‘Well he didn’t exactly hide it’ Woody told you but before you could say anything else there was movement from the corner of your eye and you could see he was emerging from the disabled loo with a stupid smirk on his face and you felt sick to your stomach.

The boys were laughing louder immediately but all you felt was embarrassment. Embarrassed that he was your friend and he thought this was okay, embarrassed for whatever poor girl he’d taken in there and embarrassed that clearly everyone knew what was going on and he was just fine with it.

You watched him talk to security before coming back over to your section. The boys slapping his back before he tried to wrap an arm around your shoulder but you just shrugged him off as soon as he touched you. Not even bothering to look up at his disgruntled face as your eyes were trained on the where he’d just come from and before long the girl emerged.

You watched her walk over to the man Mason had just spoken to, Mason clearly telling her he’d put her name in the list for your section but you doubt he even knew her name in the first place and you felt awful as she looked around for Mason to let her in. You were on the edge of marching over there yourself and telling them to let her through but you didn’t want to cause more of a scene so you just turned to Mason who was looking at you with an amused grin.

‘Seriously, Mason? I know you clearly don’t give a shit but that’s such an awful thing to do’

‘Oh stop getting your knickers in a twist, it’s not like I fucked her’ he told you matter of factly an you gasped at the way he’d just spoken to you.

‘What?’

‘I mean I’ll spare you the details but let’s just say she took very good care of me’

‘Oh fuck off, I don’t wanna know that’ you told him, wrapping your arms around yourself as if you were trying to block him out but he kept laughing at you like he found the whole thing hilarious.

‘Oh y/n don’t be such a grump’ he laughed. ‘Maybe you should think about getting yourself a bit, hopefully they might be able to pull that stick out your arse’

Mason words cut you deep, and you knew he’d only said it as he was playing on your biggest insecurity but that made it worse somehow. You’d opened up to Mason a few times about how unlucky in love you felt you were, how you never seemed to grab anyone’s attention. You knew he tried to help on nights out sometimes but nothing ever worked and you weren’t as on board with one night stands as Mason so clearly was. You were the definition of a wallflower and as much as you knew you had a lot of love to give the right person you grew more worried day by day that it would never be a reality for you.

You knew your face had dropped, Mason’s too once he’d realised what he’d said and that he’d taken it too far but you refused to show how upset you were, not just by what he’d said but everything that had happened tonight.

‘You’re a right dick sometimes’ you told him quietly, picking your bag up and storming out. You could hear the faint sound of him scoffing behind you but you didn’t have the energy to turn around and berate him anymore. Your eyes already stinging and the sadness rippled over you but you held it together so you could get out the door and sort yourself an Uber out.

You wondered if he might have followed you outside to come and apologise right away but you knew that would never happen. As long as Mason was happy in Mason land he didn’t care what he did or said to anyone else and even though you thought you might have been the exception, that clearly wasn’t the case anymore.

‘Y/n? What are you doing out here?’ You heard, Turing to see Olivia walking over to you with a concerned expression but you just blinked the tears away and gave her a half hearted smile.

‘Just getting some air’ you smiled. ‘Listen, I’m so sorry about tonight. I didn’t realise he was gonna be such an arse’ you apologised but you could see from her face it was all fine and she didn't care.

‘It’s not your fault, yeah? You’re not responsible for him’ she told you and you felt lighter at her words until she gave you a look you couldn't quite place. ‘But please don’t hate me, I’ve just been on the phone to Joe and he’s invited me over. You don’t mind if I go, do you?’ She asked and even though it stung slightly you couldn't blame her. Not when you were on your way home too now.

‘Of course not, don't be silly’ you reassured her, thinking that might be the end of it but the sympathetic smile she gave you made you feel worse somehow.

‘Are you going back in?’

‘I think I might just head home, I’ve had enough of him tonight’ you joked but she knew she could tell there was an air of truth behind it.

‘Don’t let him ruin your night, why don’t you come with me?’ She offered but you just looked back at her in confusion.

‘What? To hang out with you and Joe? I don’t think he’ll be too happy with that’

‘Oh no he’s at a party at his friends house not too far from here, there’s a load of people there and a few from work so you’ll know a load of them’ she explained and the idea of it being more than just the two of them sweetened the deal a bit.

‘I don’t know’

‘Pleeeeeeease. Don’t let that horrible boy upset you, plus I’m not done hanging out with you yet. Mason aside I’ve had fun tonight’ she pouted and you felt your resolve slipping. ‘Come on, I’ll pay for the Uber and everything’

‘Okay fine’ you laughed. Jumping into the car with her when it turned up and you were only ten minutes into being there once you realised what a good choice you’d made. You never hung out with your colleagues outside of work but you had a lot of fun and even made some new friends. The whole experience teaching you that there was more to life than Mason and you made a promise to yourself to take a step back from him for your own sake.

You made it home at around 3am in a taxi with a friend of Joes who’d promised to get you home safely. You’d been talking for most of the night and it was a complete 180 from being with Mason. He made you feel important and heard and when he kissed you cheek at your front door you felt your knees wobble. You blamed it on the drink and being so touch starved but once your were inside you realised how much of a good time you’d had without Mason once more.

The constant fear of what he was going to say or do next, the need to clean up his mess that inevitably always came and the growing embarrassment that came from being around him was getting you down. All you could think about was a break from him and If truth be told you needed a break from everything at this point so made a mental note to book some time off of work for a little break now the weather was getting nicer to go and see your auntie in Spain as a little something to look forward too.

You’d seen Mason had text you a few hours ago. Wondering where you’d gone and to text him back but you left it. Not wanting to talk to him right now so you got undressed and got into bed so you could wait for the inevitable hangover in the morning.

It was 8am when you woke up and knew your phone was going off every few minutes but you ignored it, not in the mood for whoever it was and when you hadn’t received a text for a while you had a quick Look I see they were all from Mason.

You didn’t believe his empty threats, ignoring everything he’d written and rolling over onto your other side so you could get back to sleep and thankfully it came easily as you were still so exhausted. He could work things out for himself for one morning surely?

You were expecting your head to be pounding when you next woke up, but you’d never felt it like this before. Never heard it in your ears so intensely or heard your name being called over and over until you realised it wasn’t what you thought and when you recognised Mason's voice you groaned into your pillow.

‘Y/n! Are you in there?’ You heard him call. Hoping you could just ignore him and he’d go away but Mason being Mason didn’t let up. ‘Right I’ve not heard or seen you since last night, I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing so I’m calling the police’

‘Oh fuck off’ you huffed, storming out of bed in just your underwear and a tiny T-shirt so you could tell him off, watching Masons head snap up when you opened the door and you didn’t miss the way his eyes trailed all over you.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ You spat, pulling him inside and slamming the door shut before turning to face him with a furious glare. He was looking straight back at you the same way though and you’d never seen him so mad in all the years you’d known him.

‘Are you kidding me? What the fuck are you doing? Why are you ignoring me?’

‘Are you being serious right now?

‘Completely. And can you go and get dressed you freaking me out’ he remarked but you just placed your hands on your hips and made him look at you.

‘No I can’t’ you told him and you knew he wasn't comfortable with you standing there in next to nothing so you used it to your advantage. ‘You were awful to me last night Mason, I mean you’ve not been nice for a while but last night tipped me over the edge’

‘What did I do?’

‘What didn’t you do!’ You exploded, seeing him visibly jump as he wasn’t expecting it but you just kept going, releasing all the pent up aggression and anger he’d made you feel lately and you could feel the tears stinging behind your eyes. ‘You’re so rude about me, about the way I dress and just how I am. I told you specifically not to go near Olivia and you did. Not to mention that poor girl you used in the toilet, I take it she wasn’t the same girl you took home last?’

‘Well no but-‘

‘I just, I don’t like what you’re turning into and I’m not gonna sit by and watch it happen anymore so if you still want me around you need to fix up and fix up fast’

‘You can’t tell me what to do’ he scoffed, the playfulness he usually spoke at you with now completely vanished and you had a feeling deep in your tummy that this wasn’t going to end well yet you carried on.

‘Well if you carry on like this then I’m out Mason. I don’t wanna surround myself with you and the people you hang out with anymore’

‘Oh you thought… oh that’s hilarious’ he laughed, clutching his tummy like you’d just told him the funniest joke in the world. ‘You actually think I care if you don't wanna talk to me anymore? That I’d care if I upset you? You really think telling me that is gonna make me change? Get real y/n, we’re not 13 anymore’

‘What?’ you breathed, his words feeling like a punch in the gut as he stared down at you and as much as you were trying to be the bigger person in this and make him see how awful he was being, you felt awfully small.

‘Well let’s face it, it’s not like we’re even from the same universe at this point and everything I do you take the wrong way’ he told you and you could feel yourself shrinking as he turned the tables. Bracing yourself to feel his full wrath as you knew he didn’t like being told off ‘You’re so uptight, y/n and is it any wonder why?’

‘You don’t have to get so personal all the time’

‘But you’re allowed to? You’re allowed to have a go at me cause I fuck around a bit and actually enjoy my life rather than play kids games and and make out I’m holier than thou? Just cause no one’s ever found you attractive doesn’t mean anyone else isn’t allowed any fun’

You never thought he could be this mean. His words from last night paled into comparison from what he was saying now and you unconsciously wrapped your arms around yourself as he tore you to shreds.

‘You know I tried to be a good friend, I tried my hardest to find you someone but you throw it back in my face everytime. Not that I think it would have mattered anyway cause they all tell me you’re too stuck up for your own good. No ones ever gonna want you y/n, cause you make it fucking impossible’

‘I've never been good enough for you have I?’ You whispered, watching the muscle in his jaw flex as a single tear rolled down your cheek, but his face remained hard as you tried to let him know how you felt no matter how heartbroken you were. ‘You know I always thought it was a bit of fun and teasing, you calling me a nerd or whatever but actually don’t like me, do you? But I’m good enough when you need me, I’m good enough to come over and kick out whatever girl you need kicking out. Good enough to cook for you and get you everything you need’ ’

‘Oh fuck off, y/n’ he spat, looking away from you and trying to make his way to the door. ‘You think I need you that much? Have a laugh, I only kept you around cause you came in handy sometimes’ he laughed, trying his hardest to hurt you and even though it was working you could see in his eyes he didn’t mean it. ‘People leave me all the time, why should I give a shit if you do too?’

‘Mase-‘

‘Nah it’s fine, I’ll go. Sorry for giving a shit about you, I know not to do that again. Don’t worry I won’t be back’

You knew exactly what he was doing. He was being defensive because you were upset with him and he wanted to make you feel bad too. You knew he could be mean but never like this and when he slammed your door in your face you stood there for a few moments just taking it all in. Replaying all the awful things he’d said to you before walking like a zombie back to bed and hiding under the covers so you could let a few tears out but not many came. Too in shock at hurt about what he’d said to form any real emotions but as the days went on you felt worse and worse about yourself.

Three weeks went by and you didn’t hear a peep from him. Wondering if maybe you should message him first but after a day you realised he was the one that messed up and you didn’t want to be running after him. He’d completely disappeared from online and you’d even had a cheeky look on some of his update accounts to see if he’d been spotted anywhere but it was just the usual training pictures and nothing more.

It was difficult, getting angrier as the days went by before sadness took its place. He was your best friend and had been for years but you hated everything he’d become and you weren't about to push your boundaries to accommodate him anymore. Not after all the awful things he’d said to you either that wouldn’t stop plaguing your mind.

You’d never felt as ugly as you did right now. His words had hit home as it was things you’d always thought about yourself but to hear them actually vocalised from the person who you thought you meant a lot to stung in a way nothing else ever had. Realising maybe you would be on your own for a long time as there clearly was something wrong with you and as the days passed the harder you cried.

Cried for the friendship you once had, cried for the words he’d spat in your face and cried for how awful you felt about yourself and how lonely you were night after night as you rarely spoke to anyone in fear of your emotions taking over now.

You tried to let it go, carrying on as normal but you could tell Olivia knew something was up. Letting you know she was there for you when you needed but for now you just wanted to wallow a little.

You were sat at home getting lost in a new true crime documentary when you felt your phone ring. Glancing down to see Mason's picture filling up your screen and you instantly froze. Too panicked to answer as you didn’t know what you’d say to him right now so you just stared down at the screen until the call ended. Anxious to see if he would call you back at all but he didn’t and you presumed it was a mistake until the next day when a text came through from him on your lunch break.

What did he want?

You presumed it was to apologise but at this point you didn’t want to hear it. He’d done and said enough and you were still getting over most of it so to have him back in your life seemed counter intuitive.

So you left him on read and forgot about him. Spending your lunch break with Olivia and Joe but by the time you were back at your desk he was all you could think about. His text had left a weird feeling in your tummy and you felt a little bad about knowing he wanted to presumably apologise but you wouldn't let him but what you’d said was true. You really weren’t ready just yet.

Sandra was a person you considered your work mum. A slightly older woman who worked on reception and was the smiling face that always greeted you every morning but she was also the woman you went to for advice and to have a moan to. She’s never judged you or told you what to do but it was nice getting an opinion from someone so wise so knowing you were going to see her filled you with a calmness you hadn’t felt in a while.

‘They’ve not got your favourite left, but I got you a kitkat’ you smiled as you approached the reception desk, noticing Sandra was looking back at you with an awkward smile that confused you until you looked to your left and were met with the brown eyed boy you’d been avoiding. ‘Mason? How did you even get in here?’

‘I let him in’ Sandra smiled, looking over at Mason with a wink and you could see him send her an appreciative smile as he made his way closer to you. Only then clicking the giant bunch of pink and white tulips in his arms and your chest felt tight at the sight of them.

‘You shouldn’t have done that’ you told her lowly, hoping he wouldn’t be able to hear but Sandra had other ideas and brought him into the conversation.

‘Oh come on y/n, how can you say no to that face’ she pouted, tilting her head over to him and once you looked back at Mason his usual cheeky smile adorned his lips as he playfully batted his eyelashes at you. ‘You need to talk to him anyway’

‘No I don’t, what’s he told you?’ you argued back. You purposefully hadn't told Sandra anything about what was going on with Mason as you were embarrassed and wanted to deal with it on your own but you should have known she’d find out eventually. Mothers always do.

‘That you won’t talk to him and that he wants to tell you how sorry he is’

‘Well he can tell me that himself’ you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest before you heard him not so subtly coughing. Looking up to find him glancing between the pair of you like he was reminding you he was still there.

‘I would if you gave me a chance’ he laughed before shyly nodding over to the sofa where guests usually waited. Silently asking you to come with him so you could talk a bit more privately and you reluctantly walked over after a beat. Watching Mason pluck a flower from the bouquet in his arms to give to Sandra as a thank you and you almost cracked a smile at how she blushed when she took it. The pair of them whispering a little before he turned to face you and he walked over like a naughty school boy.

‘Do we have to do this now?’ You asked. Not wanting to have this conversation with him here and now but since you’d been avoiding him you hadn’t given him many other options and you could tell from the way he was looking at you he was determined to speak with you.

‘Yes, we do. You’re ignoring me and left me no choice’

‘Can you just be quick?’ You asked, not wanting to air your dirty laundry in the reception where Sandra could quite easily hear everything and even though you felt bad he’d put the effort in to come and see you, you were practically turning him away.

‘Y/n-

‘Please, Mase. I’m at work’

‘Fine, I’ll go’ he huffed and the heartbroken look on his face made your tummy churn. ‘Only if you agree I can come over later and apologise properly’ he told you but you didn’t agree straight away and you could see he was getting desperate. ‘Y/n please’

‘Okay fine’ you sighed, nodding your head as you knew it would have to be done sooner or later and since he was making the effort you thought you should cut him some slack. His face softened immediately before his eyes fell to the flowers in his hands that he passed to you in with a shy smile

‘These are for you, your favourite’

‘Thank you’ you whispered, taking them carefully and you knew your face was turning red as you held them to your chest. This was the first bunch of flowers anyone had ever bought you and you could feel your eyes welling up at the fact he’d remembered your favourite ones.

‘Well it’s the least you deserve’ he nodded but you didn’t know what to say to him, standing there awkwardly until he coughed. ‘What time will you be home?’

‘Around six’

‘Okay well, maybe I could bring us some food over and we’ll talk’

‘Okay’ you whispered, nodding gently before looking down as you were so overwhelmed with emotions.

He didn’t say anything after that, just touched your arm and planted a quick kiss on your forehead before walking back over to Sandra so he could sign out of the visors book. His action confused you as he never showed you signs of affection aside from the occasional hug so the kiss only made you blush even more. Giving yourself a few seconds to calm down before eventually joining them at the desk.

‘Leaving so soon? Sandra pouted as Mason approached her and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the way she was so clearly wrapped around his finger already.

‘Yeah, this one wants me gone’ he teased, signing his name in the box but Sandra just threw you a disappointed look and you felt awful instantly.

‘Oh y/n’ she tutted before looking back at Mason with doe eyes. ‘If it were up to me I’d let you stay’

‘And that’s why you're my number one girl’ he told her. Flashing her his killer smile and sending her wink before turning back to you. ‘I’ll see you later, okay?’

You didn’t answer, just nodded before he left with a sad smile and as soon as he was out the door you felt Sandra’s eyes burning holes into the side of your head.

‘I tell you what, if I was 30 years younger that boy would be in serious trouble’ she told you, fanning herself with a sheet of paper from her notebook and you felt your resolve crack instantly.

‘God sake Sandra’ you laughed. It was clear that Mason was a hit with the ladies but you didn’t know he’d have this hold over someone like Sandra.

‘What’s he done? Is it really that bad or are you just making him sweat?’ She asked casually, the need to spill your guts to her was as overwhelming as ever but something was telling you to keep it under wraps until things with him were sorted so you didn’t say anything you might regret.

‘He’s not been the best for a while but we had a massive argument a few weeks back after he pushed everything a bit too far so we’ve not spoken in a while’

‘I’d just kiss and make up if I were you, he’s too pretty to be mad at’ she teased and you knew you were blushing again. This time out of sheer awkwardness.

‘It’s not like that, Sandra. He’s my best friend, nothing more, okay? No kissing or whatever else you think might be going on’

‘I’m not sure about that’ she mused ‘He doesn’t look at you like a friend’

‘That’s cause he’s trying to get on my good side probably’

‘Hmmm, we’ll see’ she winked but you didn’t want to listen anymore. Quickly making your way back to your desk so she couldn’t try and marry you off to your best friend but you could feel everyone’s eyes on you as you walked through with your flowers. Even Olivia sent you a curious look but you motioned that you’d text her later to explain.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the afternoon. Mason's flowers that were sitting on your desk were a constant reminder that you’d have to see him later and you weren’t sure if you were ready to forgive him yet, if ever. Everything he’d said to you and the way he’d made you feel was still fresh in your mind and you knew they would take a while to recover from.

You were sick and tired of forgiving him for the cycle to start over again but you couldn’t deny you missed him. Yes things had gotten way out of control but you missed your movie nights and catch ups. You even missed making breakfast together after you’d kicked another girl out for him but you knew it all had to stop. He was a man now and able to look after himself and that’s what you wanted to tell him.

You weren’t expecting him to be on time, he never usually was, but at quarter past six there was a knock on your door. He was earlier than you thought he’d be and when you answered he stood there looking as guilty as ever with a few pizza boxes in his hands and you sent him a small smile before nodding him in.

‘Come in, you whispered, walking him into your living room so he could set the pizza down on the coffee table and take a seat but the only choice you had was to sit next to him as you could only fit a small sofa in here. Your flat wasn’t the biggest in the world and Mason always told you he’d pay for you to live somewhere nicer but it was time like these you were glad he didn’t. Not knowing what might happen if things went up in smoke.

‘Can I talk first? I’ve just been thinking about what I wanna say for days and I don’t wanna mess it up’ he asked you but you just nodded. Not sure what you wanted to say yourself yet so you figured you’d sit and listen to what he wanted to say first.

‘That’s fine’ you whispered, watching him get settled in his seat before launching into his monologue.

‘Okay well, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for everything’ he gulped ‘I know I’ve been the biggest dick and I’ve hurt you but I really am sorry and I’m gonna prove it to you if you’ll let me’ he confirmed and you felt his words swimming through your veins. Never once had you heard him like before let alone hear the words I’m sorry come out of his mouth and look like he meant it.

‘Last time I saw you, when I went off on one, I was just hurt that you’d called me out and I wanted to get you back for it. I know that’s childish and stupid but you hit home with everything you said and I couldn’t take it’ he told you. Clasping his hands together as some form of distraction as he spoke and you knew he was trying his best to hold it together.

‘You’ve always been there for me, you know? You’ve always done things for me that you shouldn’t have and you’ve stuck up for me when you didn’t need to but I’ve surrounded myself with the complete wrong people who don’t care about me. They’re looking for a good time and never tell me no so I thought it was great, but not having you around has just made me realise they’re not the sort of people I need in my life, yeah? You’re what I need’

His strangled voice was pulling at your heartstrings but no matter what he was saying you didn’t want to jump right in and accept his apology. There was so much you wanted to say and that you needed him to know about how he’d treated you. You could see he was sorry and it was evident that he was hurt but if you didn’t want to let him off easy, you wanted him to understand exactly how you were feeling and leave nothing unsaid so you could move away from it and hopefully move on.

‘Please say something’ he gulped, wanting to hear something from you straight away but you knew as soon as you started you wouldn't be able to stop.

‘Thank you for apologising, it really does mean a lot to me that you came here but i'm really hurt Mase and I’m not really sure what to say’ you told him. Your voice sounding thick no matter how hard you tried to hold the tears in and you watched the heartbreak on his face as he saw you get upset.

‘It just sucked, I guess. To feel like you only ever called me when you needed me, like to get rid of someone or if I fit into your plans. Just felt like you didn’t give a damn about me ever. I’ve never said anything or judged you about the way you acted, not until recently at least, cause we’re friends but maybe I should have. Like just told you no a couple of times but I just felt so small to you and that it wouldn’t make a difference’

You could tell he wanted to speak, to let you know that it was all untrue and that he cared about you more than anything but he didn’t butt in. He let you speak and gave you your time to get everything out you needed to and it was more therapeutic than you thought it would be.

‘You know I remember the last time I knew I couldn’t count on you anymore. It was my last year at uni and I had an evening class so I could present my final project but all the trains were messed up and I had to walk there in the end through the rain’ you sniffed and when you looked at him you knew he knew what night you were talking about. ‘It took me just under an hour and I was late in the end so I got docked points and had to make it up with some extra credit but I called you. I called you and you said you were sorry but you were stuck in an important meeting and you couldn’t get out of it’ you hiccuped and it’s like he didn’t want to hear any more. His hands covering his eyes as he shook his head from side to side but you kept going. ‘But then when I got home and I just wanted someone to talk to and rant to there were pictures of you plastered online with some random girl in your lap and I knew you’d lied to me’

‘I’m sorry’ he blubbed, looking up at you with red eyes and a wobbly bottom lip but even that didn’t stop you from carrying on. The words pouring out from your mouth like a waterfall as years of hurt made their way to the surface.

‘You made me feel so worthless when I’ve stuck around since day dot. You always spout about his family is everything to you but I thought that included me? And I felt like I never meant a thing’

‘You did- you do. You mean everything to me I swear. Please please don’t say that it kills me’ he sobbed before finally reaching for you. Pulling you into his body and you let yourself hide in his neck as the tears fell from your eyes. ‘I was a dick for no reason and you’re the last person I should have taken anything out on. You’re right, I was disgusting and I didn’t care about anyone else and you were the first person I actually cared about who told me no and I couldn't take it’

‘You really hurt me’

‘I know I did and I can't tell you how sorry I am’ he cried. ‘I know I’m not easy to be around or easy to keep up with but you’ve always been there and I took you for granted. I honestly didn’t see what I was doing wrong cause no one ever told me, like everyone just let me do what I wanted but I get it now, I really do. I was just so caught up in having a good time and not thinking about the consequences so I took things too far. I know I’m probably out of second chances but I need to ask again cause I can’t lose you’

Your silence was deafening for him and you knew he wanted some sort of answer from you. Eventually sitting up and making you look at him and even though he looked panicked his voice was calm as he carried on speaking.

‘I’m a fuck up okay? I know I am and I know the last thing you probably want or need is me coming back into your life to cause you more stress again but this massive fuck up has misssd you so so much’

You couldn’t stop the little chuckle that fell from your lips. The sound making him smile too before he took your hands in his.

‘I’m sorry for embarrassing you, I’m sorry for all the lies I’ve told and all the horrible shit I’ve said about you and I’m sorry for the constant 8am wakeup calls on a Saturday cause I can’t control myself. I know how to behave and I know what I need to do so I’ll just do it yeah? No more calling you up to kick girls out for me cause they won’t be there in the first place. You need me and I’ll do whatever I can to get there for you and do exactly what you do for me everyday. These few weeks without you have been awful and I’m sorry it took us getting to this point to make me see but I’d rather get rid of everyone in my circle if it meant I got to keep you’ he confirmed as he squeezed your hands a bit tighter. ‘What do you say, huh? Do you think we could work something out?’

‘I mean, you’re right. It probably is the last thing I need’ you started, watching his head sink as his eyes fell to his lap but you just considered it a tiny bit of payback for now. ‘But I can’t lie and say that I haven’t missed you too,’ you told him. Voice wobbling at the end as your emotions took over and you could see he was also finding it hard to take. ‘But I miss the old Mason, I miss my friend’

‘I’m still here I promise. Just give me a chance and I’ll show you I’m still in here’

‘Please don’t make me regret it’ you whispered but you didn’t have a chance to say anything else. Mason bundling you into his arms and the feeling of his arms around you settled you more than anything else had and when he pulled back to smile at you, you felt your heart flutter in your chest. ‘Just because you’ve apologised doesn’t mean things can go back to the way they were. I might need some time’

‘I know, I don’t want that either. I’m gonna prove to you how much I’ve changed and we’ll go at your pace. I just needed to apologise and that’s whether you accepted it or not, but I really would love it if you did’

‘I do’ you told him, your face crumpling once again but he was quick to wrap you up and comfort you once again.

Over the next few weeks he was an angel, giving you the space you needed but also checking in when he could. Things felt normal but so different at the same time and the relief of having your friend back was overwhelming. It was two weeks later when you next saw him in person though, Mason messaging you early Friday evening to see what you were up to the next day but you weren’t expecting his response.

The fact he was offering to drive was tempting. You hated lugging heavy bags on the train and the fact the prospect of food was involved was even more appealing but you hadn’t hung out like this in a long time even before your big fight. Mostly because he was always busy but also because you’d just silently grown apart in that way. Mason liked getting his own way and him doing things for other people didn’t fall into that category.

You had a lot to do and the last thing you needed was him getting bored and rushing you round before spending an afternoon with him trying to annoy you. You knew it was mean but you wanted to put him off a little bit so you could shop in peace but you didn’t want him to think you were still mad at him and didn’t want to hang out.

His message made your heart sink. He really was trying and you knew he wanted more opportunities to prove himself but before you could think about it anymore he was messaging you again to try and convince you even more and you couldn’t deny him this time.

When 9 rolled around the next morning he was there. Standing by his car as he opened the door for you after a quick hug and you promised yourself you’d try and be positive about today and give him a chance to prove himself if that’s what he really wanted.

‘You eaten?’ He asked as you got bucked in, knowing how hungry you got in the mornings but you always prioritised sleep over eating. You had a little bit of extra time today though so you nodded your head at him but didn’t miss how his face dropped slightly.

‘I had some toast’

‘Oh okay, I um… I picked you up one of those juices you like and a pastry but if you don’t want it that’s fine’ he mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed and you felt your heart race at how thoughtful he’d been.

‘Oh… oh no I’ll have it. You know what I’m like, always starving’ you laughed, accepting the little bag and juice he’d picked you up with a smile and you could see how shy he looked. An expression he didn’t usually wear and his soft smile made your heart flutter in your chest. ‘Thank you, Mase’

‘It’s okay’ he whispered, starting the car so he could look away from you and even though the drive was fairly silent with just the low sound of his music playing, you didn’t feel awkward.

‘You coming then?’ You asked as he finished parking, watching his smile light up his face knowing you weren’t going to leave him to sit in the car on his own before he nodded enthusiastically at you.

‘So this trip, is it the usual?’ He asked as you made your way into the main shopping centre and you knew he was referring to where you were going as you visited your auntie in Spain every year.

‘Yeah, it’s just for a few days this time but I really need the break’ you explained and he nodded at you knowingly.

You went to Boots first, Mason holding the basket for you as he followed behind and you filled it with everything you needed. You were about halfway round the shop when you realised something was different, Mason not questioning why you needed everything you put in the basket or making stupid jokes. If anything he was more than helpful, reaching the higher shelves for you and manoeuvring you around the busy aisles by your waist as he knew you hated the crowds.

When it came time to pay, he scanned everything for you while you packed the bag and when you were done he picked it up without any questions so you didn’t have to carry it.

Next on your list was clothes. Wanting to try a few different things on to your usual so you could mix it up a bit and when you had an armful of things to try you turned to Mason with a smile.

‘Will you come into the changing room with me?’

‘What?’ He choked, his eyes going wide immediately as the question sunk in but you just rolled your eyes as you tugged on his wrist.

‘Yeah I need your opinion and I can’t be bothered to keep walking out here every time. I’ll go to one of the family ones so my arse isn’t shoved in your face, don't worry’ you laughed, pushing him inside with you so he didn’t have a choice but you could see the awkwardness on his face. Eventually shifting his eyes to the floor until you bundled him into a cubicle and made him sit on the seat in the corner.

‘I um… what do I-i um’ he mumbled as he set the bags down and you couldn’t help but giggle at his awkwardness. A side of him you hadn’t seen in a while.

‘Oh come on, it’s not like you’ve never seen me in my underwear before’ you laughed thinking back to when you were growing up and to even more recent times like when he showed up at your door and on nights out when he had to put you to bed after one too many but you could see he wasn’t feeling a bit strange so you hung the dresses up on the rail and smiled at him reassuringly. ‘Shut your eyes until I tell you to open them, yeah?’

‘Okay’ he whispered. Shutting his eyes and covering them with his hands as you turned away and picked up the first dress.

It was nothing like you usually wore. Tight and short with a fully cut out back meaning you had to quickly take your bra off to try it on and the thought of wearing it outside these four walls terrified you but you were determined to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

‘You can open them now, what do you think?’ You asked him, watching his eyes adjust to the light for a second before an unreadable emotion took over his face.

‘Oh it’s um… it’s different’ he told you and you couldn't tell if he liked it or not.

‘Well I’ve been thinking about what you said and even though I was pissed at the time and you could have probably worded it nicer I think you were right’ you told him, hands brushing over the short skirt and even though you felt different in it you didn’t feel too uncomfortable. ‘I need to show a bit more skin, you know?’

‘Wait-‘

‘What do boys like more? Bum or boobs? Like what do I need to-‘

‘Wait, stop’ he interrupted, the tone of his voice making you stop in your tracks and turn to him and when he held his hand out to you, you took it carefully. Letting him pull you in between your legs slowly so he could talk to you better but when you felt his fingertips on the backs of your bare thighs your legs turned to jelly.

You didn’t know what it was, that weird feeling pulsating through you at just a simple touch from Mason of all people and the sensation made it feel like you couldn’t get your breath out properly. In the end you had to rest your hands on his chest so you didn’t crumple to the floor and it was like the atmosphere changed within a heartbeat.

His big brown eyes looked dark as he peered up at you through his lashes, the bridge of his nose a deep red and his pouty lips had parted slightly as he tried to control his breathing but it’s like you blinked and the moment was gone. His eyes moving to look at your shoulder now and you moved your hands away from his chest to cross them over your body.

‘Sit down, yeah?’ He whispered, nodding his head to his leg and you sat on his thigh as he caged you in his arms. His face serious as you wondered what he might be about to say to you and you could feel your cheeks getting warm as he looked at you in a way he never had before. ‘You don’t… you don’t need to change the way you look or dress, okay? I was a dick and I shouldn’t have said all that before. It was crap of me and it wasn’t true anyway’

‘But-‘

‘But nothing’ he whispered, cutting you off and you felt your eyes sting as he smiled sweetly at you. ‘You deserve the world, you know that? And you deserve a man who doesn’t care about how much skin you’ve got on show or what your body looks like in what you’ve got on. You want a man who cares about what’s going on in here’ he whispered, tapping your temple lightly before doing the same to the top of your chest. ‘And in here. And yeah it might be a wait but you’ll get there. You don’t have to sell yourself short to dickheads like me who don’t have what you need, okay?’

‘It just gets hard sometimes’ you sniffed, his words hitting you deep in your tummy and you couldn’t stop the tears spilling from your eyes before you felt him pulling you into his body for a cuddle. Your head nestled into his neck as you held onto him for dear life but the feel of his hand stroking up and down your back bare soothed you ever so slightly.

‘I know it does’

‘What’s wrong with me?’ You hiccuped, barely able to hold yourself together at this point but his gentle touches really were helping. You felt safe with him for the first time in a long time and you knew you could tell him anything and it wouldn’t matter. He’d listen and reassure you like best friends are supposed to.

‘Nothing, I promise. Absolutely nothing, you’re perfect okay’ he told you. Speaking the words directly into ear and he sounded so determined and sure of himself that the sound made you shiver. ‘You’re too perfect, maybe that’s the problem. It's dicks like me that have got something wrong with us yeah’ he laughed and you let out a little chuckle before pulling back so you could wipe your eyes. ‘Does everything you picked out look like that?’

‘Yeah’ you laughed, smiling as he caught the tears you missed.

‘Okay well let me go and look for you, I saw a few bits that are more you but just a bit different. You can try those on and see what you think, yeah?’

‘Okay’ you sniffed, not sure about this idea but you were willing to entertain him at this point and when he came back with a few bits you were actually surprised at how much you loved them. Still your style but just a little different and you couldn’t help but give Mason a massive hug at the end.

Once you’d paid, Mason offered to take all the bags back to the car whilst you popped into Primark for underwear and socks and once you were done you met him outside. Your tummy grumbling as it approached lunchtime and he let you pick wherever you wanted to go but you settled on Nando’s as you knew that’s secretly what he wanted and since he’d been good to you that morning you figured you’d be good to him.

You were back at his just after one, leaving your bags in the car but you noticed he’d taken in a white paper bag that you hadn’t seen him with all day and after the pair of you got yourselves a drink and settled on the sofa, he turned to you with a shy smile.

‘Hey, so I got you something’ he told you nervously, producing the white paper bag from earlier from the side of the sofa and you took it from him with a confused grin.

You didn’t ask what it was, just reached in to grab hold of the box and when you finally pulled it out you almost lost your breath. The brightly coloured picture of the northern lights making you smile immediately before you looked up to his nervous face.

‘I wanted to get you one we could maybe do together? I know it’s probably not as big or complicated as you’re used to but I thought we could start me off easy’ he laughed but you were too overcome with emotion to think of anything to say. Never in a million years did you think he’d want to do a puzzle with you let alone buy you one with a picture of the place you’d always wanted to visit the most on it.

‘Can we do it now?’ You asked excitedly. Knowing you had the whole afternoon together to finish it and when his face mirrored yours you felt like jumping up and down.

‘Of course’ he grinned. ‘I’ll clear the coffee table and we can do it there if that’s alright?’

‘That's perfect’ you nodded, hugging the box to your chest as you stood up before touching his arm gently so he’d look at you. ‘Do you mind if I borrow something to wear? I like to be comfy when I’m getting my puzzle on’ you laughed but he just smiled before motioning to follow you to his room. Picking you out a few things to choose from and you settled on a pair of his grey shorts and an oversized T-shirt of his before taking a hoodie down with you just in case you got cold.

Mason got changed too just after you before running into the kitchen to get you both some snacks and drinks whilst you cleared the table and soon enough you were tipping the contense of the box onto the table so you could get started.

‘Right what do we do?’ Mason questioned, the large pile of tiny pieces daunting him quite clearly but you just giggled as you took a seat opposite him.

‘Well I’ll tell you how I do it, so we need to find the corner pieces first, then the edges then we’ll sort the leftovers out by colour and go from there. That sound good?’

‘Okay’ he nodded and you gave him the task of the corners and edges whilst you organised the rest. Only realising then how much of a difficult one this one might be. He was right in saying it was less pieces than you were used to but the picture was complicated and once he’d got all his pieces sorted he looked at you with a confused smile.

‘You realise this is gonna be difficult? And we could be here for a while’ You told him, watching him gulp nervously before looking back at all the pieces.

‘Really? But it’s only 500 pieces. The ones you do are thousands’

‘Yeah but the picture here is complicated, it's just all random colours like there’s no buildings or anything to work from’

‘Oh, shit sorry’ he laughed before shrugging at you. ‘I just know you’ve always wanted to go so I thought you’d like it’

‘No don’t be sorry, I do like it. Love it, in fact. I just don’t want you to get bored or frustrated with it if it takes a while’

‘No it’s okay, I can do it’ he told you. The same determined look you’d seen in his eyes countless times before important games and finals and it made you smile that he was applying the same fight for this.

You let him put some background music on as you worked away. Talking lightly about some plans you both had coming up but it was difficult for Mason to multitask. You could see he was trying his best and had done a lot of work in one of the corners but he couldn’t puzzle and talk like you could and you thought his concentrated face was cute. Often finding yourself just watching him for a few moments until he caught you and sent you a lopsided smile as he blushed.

You ordered food in when the time came. Taking a small break so you could reevaluate how much you’d done before jumping back in and it was approaching 9pm when you finally finished. Mason giving you the last piece to place in as he knew it was your favourite bit before you cheered and wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

‘Not bad for something dorks do, huh?’ You giggled but it was like he was frozen. His gaze all over your face before a look of guilt washed over his.

‘You know I never thought you were a dork’ he gulped, wrapping his arms around you tighter and pulling you further into his lap.

‘Mase it’s fine-‘

‘No, cause it’s not’ he shrugged. ‘I never meant it in a malicious way but even playing it’s still not nice so I’m sorry’

‘Thank you’ whispered and after he gave you a quick smile he was looking down at his lap shly again.

‘It’s kinda late, do you maybe wanna stay over? We can have a sleepover like we used to’ he winked and while the idea sounded fun you were also a little unsure.

‘I don’t wanna sleep in your sex bed’ you laughed and the shocked expression on his face made you giggle.

‘Hey, you think I let just anyone go in there? He laughed. ‘I don’t take random girls in there, I take them to the loft room. Well I did at least, I haven’t done that in a while’

‘Why not?’

‘Dunno, just not in the mood? Been too busy begging for your forgiveness’ he teased before his eyes were boring into yours. ‘Please stay’

‘Okay’ you whispered, slightly thankful he’d asked as you didn’t fancy the drive home this late. You were already sleepy and when he tucked you in next to him after he’d put a movie on it didn’t take you long to fall asleep.

The pair of you joked the next morning about who he would call to come and kick you out and you hadn’t felt this normal with him in years. Your Mason was back and you couldn’t be more thankful but again over the next few weeks his behaviour began to change.

It seemed to be going the opposite way though, Mason swapping his devil horns for angel wings and it was like he was getting sweeter by the second.

Every morning you woke up to a good morning text, and every evening he’d text you goodnight. Messaging you throughout the day when he could and even though it was always silly conversations it was like he’d made it his mission to make you smile whenever he could. He was being the best friend he could be and so much more but it was like he was changing his whole life for the better. No more random nights out so he could trap a girl and take her home, no more mean jokes at your expense and you hadn’t heard about his gaggle of yes men in weeks.

You spent all of your free time together. No matter what you were doing or how boring you thought he might have found it he wanted to be there doing it with you.

You knew Mason was always touchy with everyone but he’d never been the same with you. A hand on your shoulder maybe but that was it, however now he couldn’t seem to keep his hands away from you now. Always standing next to you when he could, his hands on your waist or you back or his fingers threaded through yours as you sat and watched tv.

You could feel things changing but you weren’t sure what it was. Wondering if he was just happy you were back but you needed an explanation for the puppy eyes he was sending your way every five seconds that you didn’t understand.

You waited until you’d been to his for dinner one night, letting him load the dishwasher as you got comfortable on the sofa and once he was done he flopped down with his head in your lap as a content hum fell from his lips.

‘What’s gotten into you lately?’ You laughed, massaging his head slightly as he nestled into your lap even further but the action just made you laugh until he was rolling onto his back and looking up at you with a smile that made his eyes crease.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well I know I said I wanted the old Mason back but this is something else’ you winked and you could see his cheeks flush as you called him out for his actions.

‘Well I want you to like me’ he shrugged, sitting up and taking your hand in his and even though he was shy you kept pressing him in hope of some answers.

‘You’re my best friend Mason, of course I like you’

‘What if I more than like you?’ He whispered, so quietly you thought you hadn’t heard it but when your eyes met his you knew he’d said what you thought he had.

‘I don’t understand’

‘I don’t either really’ he laughed, sitting up taller so he could face you and you felt your heart race at what he might be saying. ‘All I know is that things have changed for me and I feel like I need you to know how I feel. It’s fine if you don’t feel it too but I’ve just been feeling these things for you for a few weeks and you’re the person I tell everything to so I feel like I’ve got to tell you now’

‘What things are you feeling?’ You asked. Wondering if you’d maybe got the wrong end of the stick but his next sentence took the breath out of your lungs.

‘Im feeling like I wanna kiss you’ he whispered, barely able to hear him but you knew what he’d said.

What?

You couldn’t speak, and by the looks of it Mason knew he had to keep speaking so you let him squeeze you hand as he word vomited everything he’d been holding in.

‘I just keep having these moments with you, like time stops and I’m in this trance and all I can focus on you and wanting you in a way I’ve never done before. Remember when we did that puzzle? You put that last piece in and you were just so happy like I swear to god all I wanted to was kiss your face off’ he laughed but you couldn’t believe what he was saying. Not sure how to react as no one had ever said anything like this to you let alone your best friend.

‘Mase I- I don’t think I-‘

‘It’s okay’ he smiled. ‘I said it’s fine if you don’t’ he smiled and even though him saying it made you feel better, you could tell he was a little embarrassed. Wondering if you should make a joke to ease the tension and as he looked away you began to speak without even thinking.

‘I know you said you weren’t in the mood for girls but you must be really desperate if you’re thinking about kissing me’ you laughed, trying to ease the tension slightly but he just smiled at you and shrugged.

‘I wouldn't go that far. But it’s honestly fine, we’ve been spending a lot of time together and I’ve probably got all mixed up. I’m sure it’s just a phase and it’ll pass’ he laughed. ‘Just forget it, it’s fine and I don’t want things to be weird’

But how could you forget?

No one in your entire existence had ever admitted having feelings for you. It was something you never thought would happen yet here was your best friend telling you he felt like he wanted to kiss you.

It was like a switch had suddenly gone off in your brain, over the coming weeks finding yourself daydreaming about kissing him too and what it might be like to be his girl. Thinking about how his hand would feel clasped in your own, his fingers linked in between yours or just how his touch would feel anywhere and everywhere on your body.

You shook yourself out of it at first, like you were waking yourself up from a nightmare and you couldn’t comprehend how your brain had conjured up such a strange image but as the days went on you basked in it. Giggling as you dreamed about all the things you could do together and how happy you could be.

The pair of you had always been platonic, and whilst lately the lines maybe had become a bit blurred as he became touchier with you with the added time you spent together, your thoughts about him lately were anything but platonic.

Everytime you shut your eyes all you could see was his soft smile and the way his eyes creased at the sides so adorably. The dimple on his cheek made your heart race and all you could think about was taking him up on his offer and planting your lips on his. It wasn’t just his smile though, it was everything. His chocolate chip eyes you wanted to drown in, his smell that made you feel like home and his arms that made you feel safer than anything else.

Everything seemed to be hitting you like a truck and you felt ridiculous. Waiting for his name to pop up on your phone constantly and the butterflies only intensified with each new message. Finding yourself sat giggling in anticipation of what he was going to say next and going to bed with a huge smile on your face every night.

You never meant to fall for him, much like he probably never meant to fall for you, but it had happened and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. Feeling like a schoolgirl with your first crush and the fact you knew it was reciprocated somewhat excited you and filled you with dread at the same time.

The more you thought about him, the sillier you started to feel. He never offered to be your boyfriend, never said anything about dates or anything extra. He’d said he wanted to kiss you, and that was it.

The words just a phase rang through your ears constantly and as the days went by you realised you didn’t want to be just a phase to him. Disappointment flooding you at him trying his best to curb his feelings whilst yours only grew for him.

You’d noticed he’d pulled back from you a little bit, trying his hardest not to talk to you every minute of the day but you didn’t let him ignore you for too long. Now you were in your feels all you could think about was him and when you might next get to see him. Not wanting to look too eager and alert him to the fact anything had changed but when he text you one evening you felt your excitement levels rise.

You decided to wear one of the dresses he’d picked out for you for your holiday and gave yourself enough time to do your makeup nicely and straighten your hair. You didn't know why you wanted to, or maybe you did, but it was the first night out where he wasn’t trying to set you up with one of his friends and you felt more relaxed about it. That was until he text you that he was on his way and you felt like throwing up.

It's like the words were stuck in his throat as soon as he saw you, frozen to the spot as you locked your door behind you and you could see him visibly gulp as he tried to shake it off and say hello to you properly.

It was one of the weirdest nights out you’d ever been on, the pair of you turning up together and he led you to your section by your hand. Once he’d found you both seats next to each other he was off to the bar to get you a drink with his eyes not leaving you for me more a few moments before he was back with you.

Things only got weirder though as he paid no attention to any of the girls looking his way, not even engaging in conversation with most of the girls the boys would introduce to him and when you tried to question him about it he just shrugged and said he wasn’t in the mood.

‘Hey y/n, have you met Ethan?’ Woody asked as he nodded someone over. A tall guy with dark hair and bright blue eyes making his way over to you and you rolled your eyes at his clear attempt to set you up with another one of his friends after you’d told him to stop but the feeling of Mason dropping your hand from under the table that made you turn away to look back at him.

He didn’t say anything, just gave you what looked like a sad smile before you had to turn back to say hello to Ethan. Woody banging on about how he came from Portsmouth just like you and Mason and how they’d gone to primary school together but now Ethan was in the Navy hence why you’d never seen him but he was back for a little while to visit.

You didn’t know what possessed you to do it, but you felt weird now Mason's hand wasn’t in yours. Looking down to see it was resting on his thigh so as carefully and as sneakily as you could you laced your fingers back through his and squeezed it gently. Not acknowledging him in any way but you could see his head snap up to look at you from the corner of your eye before his other hand fell over your clasped ones. Fiddling with your rings as the others spoke and you tried not to smile at how adorable he was being.

All the thoughts you’d had about having more with Mason that week, he was making a reality tonight. Giving you glimpses of what it might be like to to be his and how he might treat you but you were still so unsure as to what he wanted as he told you he was just a phase he was getting over so you played dumb for little.

‘You wanna dance?’ You asked him, tugging on his hand gently but he just scrunched his face up slightly.

‘I’m good, you go I’ll watch you’ he smiled and whilst the thought of him watching you dance thrilled you a little bit, you also could tell he wasn’t on his a game and looked like he didn’t even want to be there at all anymore.

‘Are you okay? You don’t seem as into it as usual’

‘I’m fine’ he shrugged ‘Dunno just not in the mood to be around loads of people i guess’

‘We can leave if you want? I mean it’s way past my bedtime anyway’

‘We can, but I’ve got one condition’ he told you with a smile, leaning closer so he could talk right in your ear and you felt every hair in your body stand to attention.

‘What’s that?’

‘Come stay at mine?’ He whispered and his offer made you freeze. ‘I’ll make you breakfast in the morning’

‘Okay’ you whispered, letting him take your hand and lead you out but you were surprised he didn’t want to say goodbye to anyone first. Only giving Woody a quick wave who gave the pair of you a look you couldn't quite make out before you were jumping in a cab back to his.

Part of you was happy he wanted to get home earlier than usual, it had been a long week and once you were changed into an oversized T-shirt of his you got settled on your side of his bed. Hazily watching him slip under the covers in just a pair of boxers as you tried to hide a smile and thankfully he didn’t catch it.

‘Go to sleep love, you look exhausted’ he laughed, tucking the duvet around you a little more tightly. ‘I’ve just got a few emails to look through okay but I’ll be quite’

‘That’s fine, Night Mase’

‘Night love’ he whispered and you turned onto your side away from him so you could get comfy and hopefully drift off soon.

Your whole body felt like a dead weight, your eyes feeling like they’d been stuck together with glue but your mind wouldn’t shut off and you knew you would be thinking about Mason and replaying most of the night you’d just spent together. Remembering the way he held your hand, held your waist and spoke directly into your ear like you were his made your spine tingle. But the memories were soon becoming warped and disfigured as your brain became tired and you eventually let the sleep take you.

You hadn't been asleep long, but the feeling of Mason's arm sliding around your waist as he cuddled up to you woke you slightly. Not enough to wake you up fully and the warmth of his body pressed against yours was already sending you back to sleep so you just went with it and let him hold you. Revelling in the soft kisses he was pressing to your shoulder as you tried not to smile but you definitely weren't ready for what was about to happen next.

‘What am I gonna do with you, eh?’ He whispered, only just loud enough for you to hear but you knew you shouldn’t be. He obviously thought you were still asleep and couldn’t hear him so you stayed as still as you could and kept your breathing steady in hopes he’d carry on. ‘I’d do absolutely anything for you, you know that? And I’m really trying to get over you but you make it so difficult’

I don’t want you to get over me was the first thought in your head but you didn’t vocalise it. You wanted him to keep talking, to see what else he could admit to your semi unconscious state and luckily enough for you he kept going.

‘I know I said it was just a phase but I’m not so sure it is now. You’re the only person who knows the real me and wants what’s best for me. I can’t get you out of my head’

You waited for more, but it never came. Soon enough his soft snores filled the room and you knew he was asleep but his admissions were enough for you. You knew how he felt, and you were pretty sure you felt the same now but you weren’t sure if you had the balls to do anything about it right now so you followed his lead and shut your eyes so you could let the sleep take you again.

Mason was still asleep when you awoke. The pair of you facing each other as you’d turned in your sleep and you used the time he was asleep just to look at him. His pouty lips and pink cheeks made your tummy flutter and after what you’d heard last night all you could think about is what to say to him this morning.

He didn’t give you too much longer to think about it though and you felt your heart thump as he stirred awake. His eyes opening softly as they latched onto yours but his expression remained unchanged asides from a small smile. Just looking back at you as you did the same to him and a sense of peace washed over you.

The pair of you were both on the edge of your own respective pillows, as close as you could be without touching one another but the moment felt intimate and you could see the love in his eyes for you as you watched each other bathed in the early morning sun. The light bringing out the golden tones in his hair and the honey hues in his eyes, it hitting you right there that your best friend was probably the most gorgeous boy you’d ever laid eyes on.

You both didn’t move for a while. Content with just looking at the person in front of you and thinking how thankful you were that you got a chance to wake up next to them and you knew this was only ending one way. You were nervous to say the least, but after everything you’d heard last night you were pretty sure you were on the same page and he’d welcome what you were about to give him.

It was you that made the first move. Not even sure as to why you did it but you lent forward slowly, watching how his body mirrored your own as you kept going and both your eyes snapped away from one another. Focusing on the others lips now and just as your hand reached out to touch his chest for a bit of support, your lips finally locked and his hand cupped your jaw immediately.

It wasn’t a soft kiss like you thought it might be, Mason stole the breath from your lungs as soon as it hit him what was happening. Pushing himself forward so he could hover over you and control the kiss a bit more but you moved your hand to the back of his head so he wouldn’t part from you.

Your tummy was erupting with butterflies, your chest heaving as he slipped his tongue in your mouth and you couldn’t help but press yourself into him further. Letting him grip your thigh as he hitched it up his body and you were quite happy to get lost in him but it was Mason that pulled back. Kissing over your cheeks until you were giggling and when he eventually pulled back his smile made your heart melt.

He was quick to settle back down next to you. Pulling your body right up against his and keeping your thigh wrapped around his waist before you felt his hand on your lower back so he could tickle your skin lightly.

‘Sorry’ you whispered, suddenly feeling embarrassed about what you’d done but his gentle smile relaxed you.

‘Don’t be, I don’t mind’ he smiled. Pecking your lips again softly and you knew you were blushing. ‘You know I’ve been wanting to kiss for a while but I didn’t wanna push things too far’ he smiled ‘and it’s not that I don’t want to ever, but I don’t want you to regret anything right now’

‘I wouldn’t have’ you whispered, watching his face soften slightly but deep down you knew it was for the best. You still didn’t know what any of this meant and it was clearly obvious to Mason you were worried as he brushed some strands of hair out of your face and gave you a sympathetic smile.

‘What is it, love? What’s on your mind’

‘I just… I’m not sure, like what does all of this mean?’ You breathed. Watching his eyes light up as you finally spoke your mind. ‘Your my best friend Mason, I don’t want to lose you’

‘You won’t’

‘But I need to know what you want. Is it just a kiss? Like are we done now?’ You laughed, trying to keep it light as it was a pretty serious conversation but the smile on his face relaxed you.

‘No, I’m definitely not done with you’ he told you sincerely. ‘I get us being friends complicates things a little bit but I’m not the guy you think I am, not anymore at least anyway and definitely not when it comes to you’

‘I feel like I’m not enough for you’ you whispered, finally addressing the elephant in the room and you could tell your words had upset him a little bit. The frown on his face was adorable but you wanted him to know how you felt no matter how awful it sounded.

‘Don’t say that’ he huffed, kissing your jaw gently. ‘Tell me why so I can tell you it’s rubbish’

‘No because what if I can’t give you everything those other girls have?’ You laughed even though you were trying to be serious. ‘Like I don't wanna be a dick but you’ve always said you’d never be a one woman guy so what’s changed. What if your eyes wander somewhere else? What do I do then?’

You didn’t mean for it to come out so abruptly but Mason knew you never minced your words and didn’t take it too badly. He knew his past and he owned it but he also knew it was his feelings for you that had changed him and he was willing to say whatever he could to get you on board.

‘Remember the day we did the puzzle together, and I said I hadn’t slept with anyone in a while cause I wasn’t in the mood? Well that wasn’t the reason. I didn't know it then fully but I hadn’t because all I wanted was you and the thought of being with anyone else made me feel weird’ he told you. His fingers delicately tracing patterns on your back as he spoke and you knew you were hanging off his every word. ‘At first I thought it was because I missed us being together and I wanted to spend more time with you, but then I wanted to spend all my time with you. My eyes aren’t gonna wander okay? They haven’t in months and why would they when you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen’

‘You’re just saying that’ you whispered, not used to compliments like that coming from him and your instincts were to think he was lying but you could see in his eyes something had changed.

‘Don’t tell me what I think’ he teased, squeezing your sides gently. ‘I’ve always thought you were pretty, why do you think I could never understand that you were single?’

‘Mase I’ve never… I’ve never done any of this. You’re the first boy who’s ever admitted to feeling anything more than friendship with me. I don’t know what to do’

‘You don’t have to do anything, we don’t have to do anything okay? Nothing has to change. I just wanna hold you more, kiss you more maybe if that’s something you’d want’

‘I’ve never had sex’ you blurted and the confession made him chuckle. Clearly he knew this already but you just wanted him to be certain of what he was getting himself into.

‘That’s fine’ he whispered, pulling you in a little closer. ‘I know you’re scared, okay? This is different for me too. I’ve never had a proper girlfriend before, I mean I’ve dated girls and been exclusive with a couple but never got to the official stage. I’ve never wanted that from anyone but I want it from you. If that’s what you want’

‘I think I do, I’m just…’

‘What?’ He whispered, a look of love and reassurance on his face and you felt your eyes sting at how safe you felt with him.

‘I’m fucking terrified’ you laughed. ‘I know I’ve been trying to find someone but I never thought it would be you’

‘Well I didn’t think I’d fall for you either’ he winked before placing a soft kiss to your lips that made you melt into the sheets. ‘We don’t have to stick a big label on it or anything, we can just hang out like we have been and see what comes natural to us okay? And if it’s sex your worried about then I don’t care about waiting’

‘I don’t wanna be bad for you’

‘You won’t be, not when you’ve got me for a teacher anyway’ he joked and you rolled your eyes before his face got serious. ‘I know you’re scared but you know you can trust me don't you? I wanna be the one to show you, to make you feel good. I wanna be the one you trust to show you how good it can be’ he whispered and you felt your skin tingle all over at his words. ‘But we’ll wait until you’re ready cause there’s a million things we need to do before we get there’

‘So I’m not just a phase then?’

‘Not at all’ he laughed, ‘and I never thought you were. I could just tell you didn’t feel the same when I told you how I felt and I was trying to make you feel better’ He’d explained. ‘I couldn't go three weeks without you, gorgeous. And I knew I’d fucked up the next day but I was too much of a dick to do anything about it until I couldn’t cope without you anymore’

‘So.. you’re looking for a relationship then?’ You asked, wanting everything out on the table so you could both be certain about what was going on and you watched his face soften at you as he bit his lip nervously.

‘I wasn’t, you know I’ve never cared about that stuff but you’ve made me care. I want to do all that stuff with you. I’m done messing people around okay I just want you’

‘I want you too’ you whispered, finally admitting it out loud and you felt the weight of the world lift off of you.

‘Yeah? I thought you didn’t’

‘So did I, but ever since you told me how you felt I haven’t been able to stop thinking about us. Its like you tapped into this weird part of my brain that thinks about you in ways I never have before’

‘You’ve finally fallen victim to my mind control’ he teased and you only had a second to smile before his lips were on yours again. Hot and heavy as you wrapped yourselves around each other and you realised kissing Mason was better than you ever imagined. You just hoped you could somehow make him feel the same one day but when Mason pulled back and rested his forehead on yours, his eyes told you all you needed to know.

‘So if you’ve never had sex and never had a boyfriend, was that your first kiss?’ He asked quizzically, a spark of hope in his eyes that he could kiss you like no one else had but unfortunately you had to burst his bubble just a tiny bit.

‘You’d think it would be but no it wasn’t’ you giggled and he looked at you in deep confusion. ‘You remember Scott from school? Scott Grey?’ You asked and he nodded his head in confusion. ‘Well technically he was my first kiss’

‘You what?’

‘Oh yeah’ you laughed, laying on your back as he pushed you back slightly and you could see the jealousy written all over his face. 'He took me round the back of the science building after school once to show me his new tamagotchi. Asked if I’d liked to be its mum before planting one on me and then never spoke to me again’

‘Why didn’t you tell me? I would have kicked his dick off’ he told you, brows pinched as you could tell how annoyed he was with him but you were quick to hold his face and kiss his nose.

‘First of all, no you wouldn’t have. He was twice your size and his dad was on the school board so you could have been kicked out. And secondly I never told you cause you’ve never asked’

‘I’ve been pretty rubbish haven’t I’ he huffed, it suddenly hitting him that he simultaneously knew everything about you but also nothing at all but the way you stroked his cheek let him know everything was okay.

‘If it makes you feel any better, you were my first proper kiss. I’ve never kissed anyone like that before’

‘That does make me feel better’ he chuckled. Getting himself settled next to you again before he pulled you into his chest. ‘What about dates?’

‘I’ve been on a couple’

‘When was the last one?’

‘Like two months ago? A few days after we had our big argument’

‘What?’ He laughed, tickling your sides until you giggled but you fought him off eventually.

‘After I called you a dick and left the club that night, Olivia took me to a party at some guys from works house. I got talking to one of his friends and we went out on a date a few days after but it was actually me that wasn’t feeling it and I told him I didn't see things going anywhere’

‘What was wrong with him?’ He asked quietly but that was the issue. There was nothing wrong with him at all.

‘Just didn’t feel what I thought I should have felt you know?’ You whispered and you saw Mason nod gently with a smile on his lips. ‘I know I’ve never been in that situation or felt those things before but I told myself when I did eventually find someone I wouldn’t settle for just anyone. I want fireworks and warmth and all those things you read about’

‘Do you feel it now?’ He whispered, his eyes searching your face erratically almost as if he was scared of your answer but little did he know he had no reason to be.

‘I do, yeah’

The relieved breath that fell from Mason's lips made you smile wider than you had in a while. His own face mirroring yours just as he planted another heavy kiss on your lips before trailing his kissed down your jaw and neck and you knew you had to try and distract him before you both ended up in a compromised position.

‘Mason?’ You gasped, hearing him chuckle against your skin and even though he stopped his attack with his lips you felt him nestle into you with a content hum that made you pull him in closer.

‘Yes love?’ He spoke against your neck, the vibrations travelling over every inch of your skin and you had to hold in your gasp at the feel of it.

‘You promised me breakfast’ you whispered and that was all it took for him to pull up and look at you with his usual cheeky smile.

‘I did, didn't I’ he laughed. Gently brushing a few strands of hair out of your face. ‘How do pancakes sound?’

‘It sounds like you want me to make breakfast’ you pouted, watching him nod at you enthusiastically before he was trying his hardest to pull you away from the warmth and safety of the duvet.

‘I love how you get me. Come on, I’ll assist you’ he confirmed and you didn’t have it in you to argue. Letting him pull you up so you could stand in front of him and when you felt his hands dangerously low on your back you smiled up at him cheekily. ‘Thank you for giving me a shot, I know I don’t deserve one’

‘You better make it worth my while then, Mount’ you teased but no more words needed to be said. You could see it in his eyes he was ready to make things as good for the pair of you as he could so you let him lead you downstairs by the hand to start the next part of your journey together.

Well done if you made it 🤭 thank you so so much for reading and I’d love some feedback if you fancy it 😘 xxx

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heartfullofleeches · 3 days

Text

First Time

Popular “Final Girl” Yan + Shy “Creep” Fem Reader

Summary: Your best friend guides you through your first time with a boy.

Word Count: 2.2k

CW: Death/Murder, Violence, Just Girls being Girls(And being in love)

[First person to guess every horror movie reference I put into this fic you get a cookie. There are exactly five.]

“Beautiful… Isn't she?”

Silence permeates as a camera's watchful eye tunes itself to the dimness of the surrounding area. Posters line every corner of the bedroom - those littering the wall nearest to the phone screen simplest to decipher. A sickle raised high over a field of crops. A gloved hand hovering over a woman in bed - each finger strapped with a razor sharp blade. The teeth of a saw tool dangling over a dismembered hand. Not the typical decor one might expect from the local college heartthrob, but those in her inner circle were well acquainted with her preferred tastes in media.

Pixie lights strung beneath the hood of the canopy draped over her bed served as the only source of light beyond the bulb adorning her dresser mirror. The twinkling orbs cast radiant shine upon the mattress below - bathing the body nestled in a sea of pillows in their ethereal glow. Knees bend to your chest, your brows furrow in frustration at getting nail polish everywhere except where it should be. The hem of the nightgown she let you borrow clinging to your side, rolling further up your hip as you reach for another paper towel to start over.

Your hand falls short of the roll as the weighty presence of eyes watching your every move becomes too asphyxiating to ignore - swiping the orange haired, blue eyes doll of the nightstand in its stead, using it as a shield.

“Gracie…” The volume of your whine crackles in the phone's speakers. “I'm not ready. Can't you just show him pictures? I swear you have more of me than yourself.”

Daina sticks out her tongue, waggling the ball of her piercing in your direction. “I wouldn't be so sure about that, but even if that’s true can you blame me? You're adorable, babe- Back me up here, Noah.”

“She’s….wow…. It's hard to believe she's the same girl from highschool.”

Her nose crinkles, irritation present in her scowl. “Are you trying to say my girl wasn't cute back then? Cuz if you are you can sit your ass back on that couch and have your hands keep you company tonight.”

“No, no, I was just-”

Daina cuts him off with a wave of her hand, acrylics clacking loudly against the phone screen. “Just get your ass over here before I change my mind. There's a lot of boy's who'd kill to be in your place so I don't know what's taking you so long.”

“That's the other thing. Can you text me your address?”

“Ugh, I already told you it like a thousand times already.”

“Yeah, but I forgot. This would be a whole lot easier if you just sent it to me.”

“Can't. My phone's acting up right now. Couldn't even message my dad before he had to board his flight. I'll tell you one more time and final. Grab a pen and write it down if you seriously can't remember something as simple as an address.”

You effectively give up on painting your nails by the time Daina is down with her end of business. She always made it look so easy when she did hers. Then again, when was the last time you had done anything without her. You've been attached to each other's hip since you could crawl. Daina-Grace White - your best friend til the very end. She always took care of the hard parts for you, but tonight she was letting you take the lead. You're nervous. What if tonight doesn't go as planned? What if you make a mistake?

“Trouble in paradise?”

Your leg jerks back on reflex as a pale hand brushes your right ankle. Upon seeing the worry plastered on her face, you nudge your foot against her hand - resting your head on Daina’s shoulder as she pulls your leg over her lap.

“I'm scared, D….” Anxiety and fear bubble in your chest, smothering your voice in their icy grasp.

“Scared? Why?” Daina lifts her hand, motioning for you to hand her the nail polish. You pass it over - arms hugging the doll tighter as you rock back and forth to soothe your nerves.

“How can I not be? What if something…everything goes wrong? What if I mess up somehow?... What if we get-”

“Two things. One, stop moving so much while I'm trying to paint your nails for you.”

“o-oh….Sorry.”

Daina sucks air through her teeth. “Okay- Three things. Number two - stop apologizing for everything. Everything's gonna be just fine…. Wait, that last bit was supposed to be the third thing. Just remember you got this, okay? I'm here with you one hundred percent of the way. Remember our promise?”

Daina sticks out her pinky finger - smile soft as the cool greens of her eyes. You hook your finger around her, returning her grin.

“Yeah.”

Faces inches apart, the floral scent of her lip gloss wafting into your nose - A knock at the front door halts the natural pull your bodies have toward one another. Daina’s shoulders slump, the time it takes her to yank herself out of bed and away from you extending the patience your guest has as the knocking at the door grows louder.

“That's probably him.” She huffs - retrieving the scrunchie looped around her wrist as she stomps towards the bedroom door. Passing the doorway, a devilish grin replaces her annoyance as she hauntingly whispers. “I'll be right back, ooooo-”

Daina snorts, smacking the door frame as she turns on her heels. “Be right by the time I get here.”

Nodding, you place the doll back where you got it as you stand. Footsteps trail towards the closet door as Daina takes her leave. With her favorite distraction out of sight, the woman turns to her phone to numb her brain to the impending headache sure to come the split second she unlocks the front door. A single message stands out between other friends’ queries over what her plans for the night are.

“Just landed. Take care of the house while I'm out. By the way, your aunt wanted me to pass you a message. Did you happen to see your cousin's baseball bat when you were there the other day? She can't seem to get a hold of you and he starts practice in the morning. He probably just left it with a friend. Be safe.

Dad.”

Daina makes a mental note to reply to her father before she falls asleep. She's already done enough to give him a heart attack raiding his record cabinet earlier this evening. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. If all went according to plan he wouldn't find out about anything that happened on this fateful night. A night to commemorate the loyalty between two souls, intertwined by the bond they share.

Nearing the front door, Daina holds her phone between her lips as she weaves her waist length hair into a braid. A smarter girl would've asked you to do it for her - the feeling of your hands carding through her locks next to ecstasy. She peeks through the peephole, the fear of her next door neighbors returning early running through her like a poison. Daina never thought she'd be so happy to see the man on the other side of the door.

“Well look who finally decided to show up.” Daina's bubbly demeanor resurgences as she opens the door. “I was starting to worry you got lost.

Noah sheepish rubs at his neck. “I’m not too familiar with the bus schedules on this side of town. Anyway, I brought you guys some-”

“Yeah, yeah- That's great. Get your butt in this house, Mister.” Daina drags Noah through the doorway by the scruff of his coat, nearly forgetting to close the door behind her as she leads him back down the hallway towards her bedroom. She practically skips her way there, yanking the boy along as he pauses to take in the layout of her living room. Music swirls around them long before they reach the door - the carpet fresh with wheel tracks.

“Huh. Never thought you'd be into classical music, Daina. Then again, I never really took you for a horror fan.”

Daina giggles, using her excitement to fuel her enthusiasm towards the same old saying many have told her before. “There's a lot you don't know about me, Noah. It's my dad's stuff if that makes more sense. Not usually my cup of tea, but tonight is a night for experimentation after all. She should still be in the bathroom. Care to dance while we wait?”

Daina wasn't giving him a choice, throwing her arms over his broad shoulders as she threw herself against his chest. She sways back and forth, letting the transcendental rhythm of music puppeteer her ever move.

“Is it wrong to admit that I'm jealous?” Her voice crackles in Noah’s ear, hands coursing down the length of his spine as she eyes the closet door. “I'd give anything to take your place, but I'm afraid things wouldn't be the same between us if I did…. I can't lose her, Noah. Everything we've been through together. Everything she's bound to achieve. She doesn't need me, but she still humors me by allowing me to stay. There's nothing I could never do to repeat her kindness.”

“Hey, Daina…. Are you sure she's in the bathroom?”

“Yeah? Why do you ask?”

“The lights are off…. And the door is wide open.”

The cry of a closet door swiveling on its hinges falls victim to the swell of the music, consumed by it and the soft hums emitting from Daina's throat. The shadows of the closest bleed away to a face, hidden by the obscurity of a painted mask as it creeps from the abyss - gloved hands clasped tightly around the handle of a metal bat. Daina pulls her hands from Noah's neck at the safety of her own fingers and to not ruin this perfect moment with her presence any longer. His eyes flicker towards the mirror - terror the final emotion they withhold.

“Hrrah!”

The music freezes abruptly as the loud, wet crunch of metal connecting with malleable flesh and hardened bone rings through the bedroom. Voice sealed as his fate, Noah falls to the ground without uttering a word - red blooming from the split in his skull forming a halo around his neck. The bat is brought down on his head again - shoulders squared at the downward swing, blood splattering on his assailant’s nightgown as his body seizes before falling motionless once more. Disbelief pours from the bat welder's mouth in the form of gasping laughter and shortness of breath. You rip the mask away from your face, greedily sucking air through your lips and nostrils.

“I did it…. I actually did it. Daina! I killed him! I did it!”

“Fuck yeah you did, baby!” Daina leaps over Noah’s still body, swooping you into her arms as she attacks her face in a fury of kisses and praises. “You were so cool sneaking out of the closet like that! I almost pissed myself thinking you were someone else - that was amazing!”

Your laughter crescendos with every smooch pelted against your temple and cheek. Daina's hand clasps over your mouth as she struggles to keep her own laughter to a reasonable volume.

“Shh, Shh, Shh- Pipe down a bit, babe. I don't want us getting caught just yet. Not until we’re old and gray.”

“I thought you said your neighbors were gone this week too - and nobody lived in the house on the other side.”

“I did, but at this rate we'll wake the entire neighborhood!”

Beaming from ear to ear, the adrenaline pumping through your veins takes a backseat as you bashfully gaze at your girlfriend. “Did you really mean it? You'd let me kill you too if you could?”

Daina rubs her nose against yours, staring back into your eyes as if you were the most gorgeous piece of art she'd ever laid focus upon. “Only problem with it is I'd never get to hold you in my arms again.”

“Daina….That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. ” A stray tear runs down your cheek which she swiftly kisses away. “I…. I love you. I can't wait to do this with you again. Can we keep the next one alive longer - I want to get a better at that expression on their face as I bash the head in.”

“Anything for you, babe. I love you too - so damn much. So much it hurts. I can't wait for our life together…. But I don't think we're done here just yet.”

Blood smears the tarped floor as hands pull their mangled body towards the bedroom door, cries for help dampening this beautiful scene between you and the girl who would stick by your side through the very worst. Daina nods in the direction of her bed, a string of lights twinkling in the dark.

“Go grab those lights, Babe. We aren't finished just yet.”

#daina my oc #slasher reader #yandere final girl #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere x you #yandere oc #yandere headcanons #yandere blurb #yandere scenarios #yandere insert #female yandere #yandere drabble #yandere writing #female reader

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abiatackerman · 3 days

Text

Everything for peace, for humanity

Warnings: Angst

"You look.... Nice."

You smile sadly as you watch Levi in his wedding suit.

"You'll scare the guests off if you're gonna keep that scowl on your face. Try to smile. It's your wedding day. Don't ruin your soon to be wife's day at least."

You say as Levi’s eyes flicker to meet yours, his usual stoic expression unwavering. That is a look you know all too well. Still, you know you are right, he has to at least try to look the slightest bit happy, even if he clearly doesn’t want to.

"I actually didn't want to come here today... To your wedding."

You chuckle as you speak even though your heart is bleeding.

"But we're colleagues, we've been working together for a long time. As a member of the Survey Corps, I had to come."

You smile as you look at him dreamily, leaning on the door.

Oh how bad you imagined that how he would look on his wedding day. You knew he would look handsome. And he's looking handsome too. More than you imagined.

But the difference is he's marrying a beautiful girl from a powerful family of Marley instead of you. To make a truce between the Paradise island and Marley.

For peace. For humanity.

Levi slowly takes a few steps closer to you, his eyes fixed firmly on yours, his voice is low and rough.

"And yet, you still came here."

The sight of you leaning against the door, smiling at him with that look in your eyes, is too much to handle. His heart is pounding painfully in his chest, a feeling he knows all too well.

"I just wanted to see the grumpy-rude-scary captain, who is known as humanity's strongest soldier, to get married."

You say still smiling as your eyes tears up.

"Anyway... You didn't want me to come?"

You say blinking your eyes as Levi’s expression hardens. At the sight of the tears beginning to form in your eyes, his jaw tightens. He can practically feel his heart beginning to crack.

He can’t stand the sight, nor can't he stand the thought of you thinking he didn’t want you here. Which is true... He didn’t want you to be here. It hurts to see you.

"Of course I don’t want you here."

He says, his voice is cold, harsh. You chuckle sadly.

"Don't worry, I'll leave before you get married then. I was just hoping to see you in your wedding dress actually. I wanted to take a peek at you."

You try to sound funny like you always used to. You point at his tie.

"You're used to wearing cravats. You shouldn't be wearing a tie. Look, it's messed up."

Levi’s eyes flicker down to look at the messed up tie, the tie that his fiancé and her family had insisted he wear for the occasion. He hates it. He hates the way it feels around his neck, he hates the way it looks like it is being strangled around his throat, he hates to wear it. He lets out a quiet scoff.

"I’d much prefer to wear a damn cravat but apparently this is what she wanted."

You feel jealousy hitting you like a brick of a truck. You never once told Levi to change his appearance or anything just because you thought he'd look good in that way. You never wanted him to change. Now he's already changing himself for another girl... Who's not you?

"You should have told her to teach you how to wear it then. It's messed up."

You say in a jealous tone as Levi's chest aches in response. He knows this is difficult for you, he knows you are unhappy with his decision, but what can he do? The deal had already been done. There is no going back now.

Everything is for peace. For humanity.

"She did teach me, but it doesn’t matter."

He says, his voice comes out as a grumble as he undoes the tie, tossing it on the nearby desk instead.

"I hate these damn things. Stupid useless pieces of fabric."

You smile softly hearing his curses.

You'll miss it. You'll miss his grumpy behaviours, his rude-insulting words... His glare to the every male cadet who wanted to be close with you. His scent, kisses, touches, bites, thrusts, whispers, "I love you"s.... Calling you doll, Y/N, brat...

You'll miss him... Everything about him.

"I have one final request."

You clear your throat to prevent your voice from cracking and speak professionally.

"And that is?"

Levi looks at you, his expression is cold and stoic as usual but his eyes are filled with pain.

A part of him is selfishly happy to see you suffering, the other part of him wants to pull you into his arms and never let you go, to tell you that he wants you, he loves you. But that isn’t something he can't do now. He has to watch you walk away.

"I want to be your child's godmother. And I want your wife to be my patient when she gets pregnant. I want to be the doctor and the first person who'll pull your child out of your wife's ovary into this world."

You say calmly as Levi’s eyes widened. Not only do you want to be the godmother of his child with another woman who isn’t you, but also you do want to be the one to deliver his child.

A pained expression crosses his face as he realizes what you are asking for. He takes a step towards you, his eyes searching your face.

"You’re asking me... To let you witness me having a happy family... With another woman?"

You roll your eyes, desperately trying to stop your tears from falling.

"I just want to see your kids growing up and want to be the first person who'll see your kid's face. That's it."

Levi is silent for a few moments, his eyes never leaving your face. Despite how badly he wants to lash out, to be angry, he can’t. The way you are looking at him, the raw emotions behind your words... He can’t be angry at you. With a sigh, he takes another step closer to you and slowly reaches out and grabs your waist, pulling you closer.

"You’re masochistic. You know that?"

You pull yourself back from him, pushing his hand away.

"The last thing I want you to be a cheater, Levi."

You say with a soft tone as you look up to him. Levi’s eyes flicker over your face as you pull his hand away from you, his fingers slightly curled as he tries to reach out for you but manages to restrain himself. He wants to reach out for you, to take you back into his arms but he knows he isn’t allowed.

"Watching me raise a family, watch another woman have my children, you truly want to subject yourself to that kind of torture?"

He tries to keep his expression neutral, but the coldness of his eyes fades slightly. You shake your head.

"No... It definitely won't be painful for me to watch your kids growing up."

You smile softly looking up at the ceiling as you lean on the door completely.

"I just want to be a part of their life. That's it. Though it totally depends on you to accept my request."

Levi’s gaze softens slightly at your response, his eyes watching as you look up to the ceiling, he wants to reach out for you, to grab you and pull you into his arms, to lean his head down and press kisses along your neck and whisper soothing words in your ear.

But he can't....

He lets out a soft sigh, his expression darkens again as he spoke.

"Of course it depends on me to accept your request, you idiot. And you’re crazy if you think I’m going to say yes to you basically being the third wheel in my family."

You feel his words stabbing your bleeding heart making you hurt more. Bleed more. Third wheel? Your face twitches at his insults.

"Ok... As you wish."

You smile fakely as you open the door.

"Congratulations to your marriage, Levi Ackerman. I hope you'll have a happy life."

You say smiling softly as you take your last look at him again. Last look at him as "Your Levi" And everything starts to flash in front of your eyes.

Your first meeting, funny fights, him saving you from death, you treating his wounds, your first kiss, first confession, first time making love, the amazing time you two have spent with each other.

Tears start to fall on your cheeks as you close the door slowly. You sigh as you start to walk away with heavy breaths.

But if you would have looked back once again.... Maybe you could have seen the drop of tear falling from his dry eyes.

Just like you, he's not happy with his marriage. He never will.

But both of you are the previous members of the survey corps. You guys know very well what the pain of sacrifices is... You all have sacrificed a lot. And that's why neither Levi or you opposed to this marriage.

Because humanity means everything to you. If peace will be ensured by sacrificing love... You both will gladly accept that. No matter how much that's gonna hurt you both.

Everything is for peace.... For humanity...

Masterlist

#cried while writing this #levi ackerman #levi #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x fem!reader #levi ackerman x female reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #levi x y/n #levi x reader angst #levi aot #snk levi #captain levi #levi heichou #levi angst #levi attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin levi

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v3lv3tsin · 3 days

Text

defiant hearts: park jongseong

| pairning: jay park x reader

| genre: bodyguard!jay, princess!reader

| spotify playlist 🎧 (recommend listening to it while reading)

| warning: swearing, angst, smut (slight mentions of it), minors dni

| word count: 5.0k

| stefy's note: i told myself that i'll stick only to finishing my drafts but here i am writing another ff, and yes random update, i'm still alive just sick, so enjoy ;)

[ BACK TO MASTERLIST ]

You were the Crown Princess of the Asterinian Kingdom. Well-loved by all, you were the favourite of all royalty and civilians alike. Nonetheless, there were still potential threats to your safety, of course. There were people still vying for the throne, and that enough had your father deeming you unsafe. He assigned you a bodyguard, Park Jongseong, who was like a puppy, except he wasn't playful or cuddly, he doesn't make you happy, and he definitely wasn't friendly. All he does is follow you around all day, checking everything you were about to eat, about to do, heck, even the ground you were about to walk on.

Although... He was a pretty handsome chap. And he seemed to like you more than he let on.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

Today was no different. You were sitting down at the wooden table, waiting to be served. Wondering where Jay was, until you finally see him making his way to you. Of course he was there to check the food for you. You rolled your eyes and blur out. "You're stressing too much."

Your bodyguard sighed, crossing his arms across his chest. It was the third time this week you've rolled your eyes at him, the second time this hour, and he's had enough of it. "I'm doing my bloody job," he muttered in his low, velvety voice. There's nothing stress-inducing about any of this, nor anything that warranted an eye-roll. "She really does have a short temper." he thought grimly. His pale eyes met yours with a firm gaze.

Wanting to annoy him, you decide to take a bite from the roasted chicken sitting in front on you, knowing that it'll annoy him. You liked messing up with him, it really makes your day better.

Jay bristled and grit his teeth under his breath at the sheer insubordination on this woman's part. "She truly did have a death wish, didn't she? He thought to himself That could've been poisoned, you know," he hissed lowly.

"Sadly it isn't." You fake pouted, rolling your eyes which you knew drove him crazy. Not caring about what he'll answer you continue to chew on the roasted chicken.

Your bodyguard felt a headache beginning to grow on the nape of his neck. "How does such a young woman have so much attitude at her disposal" was his thought. "You really do enjoy making my job a living hell, don't you?" he said gruffly, raking a hand through his raven black hair in agitation.

"It's a pleasure." You smirk keeping eye contact with him. Confused as to why he isn't eating with you, like he always does, almost questioning him with your eyes, you decide to continue munching on the chicken.

Jay scoffed, looking at the food on the table. He had no appetite with how aggravating you always were. Although, if you were such a pain in the ass, why is he so damn obsessed with making sure you were healthy? No, never mind, he didn't want to get into that. "Are you going to force me to eat or something?" he asked with a growl, looking at you with a slight frown. He just wanted this to be over already. You were always making him tired, not physically, but mentally tired.

"You're exagerrating." You rolled your eyes at him and try to ignore him knowing that he's overreacting as always.

Your bodyguard snorted, rolling his eyes in turn. She thinks he's exaggerating? He'd like to see you try his job for a change. "Exaggerating, she says," he muttered under his breath, watching her eat. He's pretty sure he would've had grey hair already with how many times he's had the thought of putting his hands around a particular someone's scrawny neck and-

Never mind. Focus.

"You know i can hear." You looked at him, trying not to stare at him due to how handsome he is. He was your bodyguard, you shouldn't be thinking about that. He's there to protect you, nothing more, nothing less.

"I know." Jay's gaze landed on your slender neck; pale and unblemished. Not a single bruise in sight. His fingers itched to just-

Ugh, he's a professional, for crying out loud. What the hell is wrong with him? He was here to do a job, not daydream about the woman he was assigned to protect like a schoolboy with a petty crush.

You see him thinking and blur out. "What are you thinking about?" You ask him curiously, as he seemed to be focused on your neck for a second. You knew what he might be thinking about, but hearing him confess sounded better.

"What it would feel like to close my fingers around your neck," he said lowly, not even realising the words leaving his mouth until it was too late. He froze, going pale in shock. He looked down at his hands, curling his fingers into a fist; the same hand that would've fit around a slender, pale throat so well. He looked back at you, his pale gaze hardening as he forced himself to look away from your neck that was so tempting... To him?

"Kinky." You comment sarcastically, teasing him. Trying not to show any reaction to his words, you take a bite from the smashed potatoes with drizzled butter on top of them. Focusing on the taste of the potatoes, you look at him curious about what he has to say.

Your bodyguard's breath hitched slightly as he heard you speak, and a flush spread across your cheeks. He'd be lying if he said that your voice didn't send tingles up his spine, but his expression remained stoic and his gaze hard. "Is that a request, princesa? I'd be happy to choke you," he said lowly, his tone laced with a dangerous edge.

"Already daydreaming about seeing me dead?" You teased him, thinking that he's saying that just to see a reaction out of you. He knew how to make you feel wanted, even just for a minute.

Jay smirked slightly, his eyes glinting with the barest hint of something wild and possessive. "No," he said firmly, his voice low and husky. "I was just imagining what you'd look like... Submissive. On your knees."

You rolled your eyes at him thinking that he's just playing with you. Making jokes, trying to get under your skin and make you choke on the food. Rolling your eyes, you take another bite from the smash potatoes not letting him have the satisfaction of seeing you flustered by a simple sentence.

Jay watched you, his smirk growing at your reaction. You clearly didn't like it, and that stirred a sick sort of pleasure in him. Why did he enjoy riling you up so much? Was it because he wanted you to know just how utterly and completely at his mercy you were? Yes, that and the fact that you looked even cuter when you were flustered. "What? Cat got your tongue?" he laughed softly, his voice laced with a taunting edge.

"No..." You stir into your seat, trying not to give him the satisfaction of seeing you like that. He affected you in ways you didn't know existed.

He chuckled softly, a wolfish grin creeping up on his face. Seeing you all flustered and worked up was amusing. Maybe he can have a little, tiny, eensy bit of fun before the job is done after-

No. Nope. He can't do that, much as he wants to. He was a professional after all. Well, even professionals have their vices, don't they? He cleared his throat, attempting to compose himself.

You rolled your eyes at him, curious to see what he's thinking about. You hated seeing him satisfacted by seeing him happy of how much he affected you.

Jay sighed softly, his eyes flickering to you neck. Oh, how lovely it would look to see it with a necklace of bruises wrapped around it, to have you writhing beneath him-

Stop.

He's just tired, that's all. Yes, he was just tired. It would explain why he can't seem to stop thinking about doing the most unspeakable things to you-

He stopped his thoughts again, realising that his pants were becoming tighter. Damn it. What the hell is wrong with him?

"You're staring..." You turned around to look at him, feeling his eyes linger on your figure. Focusing on eating, you try to ignore his presence in the room.

He flushed slightly as he realised you noticed. Of course you would notice, you were perceptive. That, or he was losing his touch. "You should get used to it, princesa," he muttered under his breath, raking a hand through his black locks in an attempt to compose himself. Unfortunately, the thought of those beautiful curls tangled around his fingers was not at all helping him.

"And so should your boner." You scold him, showing to his visible boner that has been forming as you two were talking. Finishing eating, you get up and leave, leaving him speechless. Just as you wanted.

Jay's breath hitched, his jaw clenching slightly as a sudden flare of white-hot humiliation filled his chest. Did she just-? No. She didn't.

He quickly regained his composure, letting out a scoff and rolling his eyes. "You're being vulgar, princesa," he muttered, his blush creeping over his cheeks as he followed and fell back into the familiar routine of sticking to her side while she continued her routine.

"And you're horny." You said turning around looking at him, as you go to the library to choose a book to read. "Your point?" You teased him, trying to understand what was his point and hoe he was trying to prove it.

"...Tch. You're so damn infuriating, princesa." He sighed, shaking his head slightly. Her attitude was just as attractive as it was aggravating. It just made him want to put her in her place, to show her just who was really in charge. He looked away, his eyes shifting around the library. His eyes drifted to her figure, noting the pretty dress she was wearing... And how easy it would be for him to lift it up- What the hell is wrong with him?

"Yet you can't stop thinking about me." You leaned against the bookshelf, opening the book to look at him. Slowly tracing through the pages of the book, tracing over the page with your fingers, choosing to read the book or not.

"Don't be so full of yourself, princesa," he said, his tone somewhat mocking. But there was a hint of truth behind his words. You really are making him crazy. "I'm merely keeping you company and keeping you safe. If I had any choice in my life, I wouldn't be here," he added, sighing heavily. Jay rolled his sleeves up and leaned against a bookshelf as well, his eyes roaming over your figure and your pretty dress, his mind wandering to sinful places.

As soon as he rolls up his sleeves, you shift your focus onto his arms and veiny hands, biting your lip as you do so. Hearing him saying that, you asked "Would you not want to protect me?" You make puppy eyes at him, coming closer as you put the book back in its place.

Jay's breath hitched as you moved closer to him. He was suddenly all too aware of your proximity to him, the light floral scent of your perfume hitting his senses and making him dizzy. Just what the hell kind of perfume was that, again? He swallowed hard, his gaze flickering down to her slender neck. He really would love to mark that beautiful canvas of blank white-

...No. This is his job, not his pleasure. He had to get that through his head, no matter how badly he wanted you.

Seeing that he doesn't say anything you say pouting, as you wrapped your hands around his neck, inhaling his scent curious to see what he'll do next. "After all aren't i just an innocent and naive little princess?"

He froze on the spot as you wrapped your arms around his neck, your scent hitting his nostrils intensely. His hands itched to touch you, to grab those hips and pull them against his- No. He couldn't, he shouldn't. He closed his eyes, sighing heavily as a sudden flare of frustration and pent up lust hit his chest, threatening to boil over. What is happening to him?

"Cat got yout tongue?" You teased him while smirking deciding to play softly with his hair.

Jay tensed slightly, feeling his breath catching involuntarily as he felt your dainty fingers running through his messy black locks. No one has ever touched him like that, especially not someone as stunningly gorgeous as you. He opened his eyes slightly, their gazes meeting. He was close enough to feel your breath on his lips. Oh, gods you were beautiful. He wanted to lean in, to taste you on his tongue more than anything. But he couldn't. Not here.

You rolled your eyes annoyed, leaning yourself onto the shelf still playing with his hair and having your hands still wrapped around his neck.

He leaned closer, placing a hand on her hip to support her, his heart beating faster as he was filled with a sudden burst of protectiveness and possessiveness. You were his to look after, his to touch, to... He immediately stopped his thoughts. He was your bodyguard, dammit. This was getting out of hand. He had to maintain professionality, even if you were being so damn enticing.

You rolled your eyes annoyed taking your hands off his neck and stopping from playing with his hair. "Just fucking forget it." Taking a random book off the shelf, seeing that he doesn't seem affected at all by your actions.

Jay swallowed hard, his head swimming as he felt your hands leave his body. He felt the loss of your touch, even when he shouldn't. He just wanted to push you back against the bookshelf and- He quickly recovered, clearing his throat as he regained his composure. "What? You don't want to be a tease anymore?" he asked lowly, a sardonic smirk playing on his lips.

You looked up at him from the book ignoring him, giving him a taste of his own medicine. Knowing that he'll come to his senses at some point.

His eye twitched slightly, his smirk faltering as you ignored him. No one ever ignored him. Especially not you. He hated that he wanted you more with every second he spends with you, that he wanted to hear you make those pretty little sounds as he brought you to ecstasy- He shook his head, trying to rid his mind of the impure thoughts.

You looked at him as you still layed against the bookshelf while reading. Trying to focus on the book and not on him or his presence in the room. You hoped that maybe maybe he'll let his guard down for a second and show his true feelings for you as you were curious.

Jay sighed in defeat as you continue to ignore him, focusing instead on the contents of the book in your hands. He'd be lying if he said that having you wrapped around his arms, yourfingers playing with his hair didn't bring a rush of... Happiness? Pleasure? He honestly doesn't even know anymore. He watched you read the book in your hands, leaning your body on the bookshelf and feeling your slender figure pressing close to him- Oh gods. What were you doing to him?

"You're lying to yourself and you know it" You blured out finally looking up to him from the book. Knowing how much your words affect him, you still decided to say it. Without giving him much of an explanation, knowing that he'll understand.

He swallowed hard, a sick twist of confusion and humiliation running through him. How did you know- Wait. Was he that easy to read? "I don't know what you're talking about," he muttered, his expression hardening. His eyes flickered from you slender neck, to your pretty lips, then to your slender legs- Damn it. He was really falling prey to his desires for you.

You tilted your head looking at him as you roll your eyes. "You know damn well what i'm talking about." You said not wanting him to give him more explanation. There was none needed.

Jay bit the inside of his cheek, his fists clenching as a sudden flare of frustration, embarrassment and helplessness ran through his body. He was never helpless. How the hell did you manage to make him feel this way without even trying? Gods, he wanted to just lean in and take you lips with his, to pull you to his body and make you scream his name- What the hell was wrong with him?

"You just don't wanna admit it." You said reffering to the fact that he liked you and wanted you all to himself. Flicking through the pages of the book, you checked to see if he was still there or if he has left.

He looked away, his hand raking through his already messy hair in frustration. Why does your opinion suddenly matter to him so much when it never has before? Why did you have to be so infuriatingly, wonderfully, absolutely irresistible? He was drawn back to reality when he saw your fingers flicking through the pages idly, feeling his throat going dry. He wanted to take you hands in his and kiss and nibble on every inch.

You roll your eyes as you looked at him and whisper hoping he doesn't hear you. "You're thinking again..." You see him messing his dark hair, that's when you try not to stare. Taking in every feature if his. His brown eyes. His pinkish lips.

Jay's breath hitched slightly as he heard your angelic voice, a husky edge to it making his body shiver slightly. You were so perfect, so beautiful, and the sound of your voice... It's enough to drive anyone crazy. "How do you know-" he muttered, his eyes roaming over your form, his heart racing and his body burning hotly. His eyes settled on your neck, his fingers itching to reach out and grasp your slender throat and- No. He had to stay professional, to maintain his image.

"You do this thing when you focus on something for a long time and zone out for some time, or even bite your cheek." You explained to him your reasoning, smiling at him and feeling proud of your observation.

He blinked slightly, a strange feeling of pride rising in his chest as he realized that you had been paying close attention to his mannerisms. Of course you did, he shouldn't really be surprised. "Well, you do this other thing," he spoke lowly, a smirk creeping in his lips, "you bite your lips when you get lost in thought."

"Am not." You looked away embarassed, hiding your face from him with book. Noticing how observant he is off you. You liked that. Were you gonna admit it? Hell no.

Your bodyguard smirked, a sudden surge of amusement and satisfaction stirring in his chest, feeling it tighten with a sort of warmth. The fact that your were so oblivious about that little habit of yours only made him want to kiss you more just to make you bite your luscious lips again. His smirk faded slightly, his gaze flickering down to your lips and his own lips suddenly feeling dry. What he'd give to taste and claim those lips as his own.... He shouldn't.

"You're doing it again..." You sighted and pointed out his habit again. Knowing that he is looking at your lips. Maybe he wanted to kiss you. Maybe not. He looked so good standing there. Doing the bare minimum.

Jay hummed softly, his thumb grazing the edge of his lip as his head buzzed with the sudden idea of leaning in and capturing your lips with his. His eyes travelled from your lips to your neck, to that smooth and beautiful canvas of soft skin that he really wanted to bite and mark as his own- No. What is he thinking? He can't do that, the job is the most important thing here. He swallowed thickly. "What am I doing, princesa? Tell me."

"Thinking..." You mentioned barely giving him any explanation, leaning your head against the bookshelf. Getting a better view of him, in the familiar suit you see him wearing everytime. The tie that hasn't been loosen up yet. You wanted to take him by his tie and kiss him right there.

He bit the inside of his cheek slightly, his eyes flickering between your own and your slender neck, which was now on display for him as you tilted your head back. His mouth watered, wanting to kiss that exposed skin so badly- He took a deep breath, shaking his head and regaining his composure. For once in his life he wanted to be honest, to just tell you how much he wanted you and how badly he itched to claim you as his own. "Thinking about how beautiful your neck looks."

You tilted your head to have a better view of him, biting your lip trying not to give him the satisfaction of seeing you think of him in that way so you decided to tease him. "Such unholy thoughts, mister."

Jay rolled his eyes, the corner of his lips twitching as he tried not to give you the satisfaction of seeing him crack. You were so alluring when you were teasing. He wanted to see more of that. More of you. He shifted his stance, his eyes flickering down to your perfect neck as he imagined how it would look with a necklace of red hickeys around your slender throat. "I can't help my thoughts, princesa," he replied.

"You can make them come true..." You whispered hoping that he doesn't hear you. You looked at his lips taking every detail of his. From head to toe, lingering on his lips.

His breath hitched slightly as he caught the whispered words, the sound sending shivers down his spine. You were tempting him, almost as if you wanted him to snap and take you for himself. His eyes darkened with desire, flicking between your own and your deliciously-bitten lip. He wanted to just grab that perfect neck of hers and pull your mouth to his- "You're such a bad girl, princesa," he muttered lowly.

"And yet that hasn't stopped you from wanting me." You smirked as you kept eye contact with him. Playing with your fingers that are currently on the book, wishing it was his tie.

Jay swallowed slightly, taking a step closer to you so the two of you were only inches apart. Your breathing mingled, and he would be lying if he said he didn't like the feeling of your breath ghosting over his lips. His fingers itched to reach out and cup your cheek, to tilt your face up so he could have a better look at you, to run his thumb over those pretty lips of yours and pull them in for a sinful kiss... "No. Nothing will ever stop me from wanting you."

"Not even my father..." You whispered to him, leaning into his touch as he cups your cheek and parted your lips slightly as he touched them with his thumb.

His breath hitched slightly as you leaned into his touch, your soft skin against his palm making his whole body shiver with desire. The soft warmth of your breath made him dizzy, your parted lips so close to his and so tantalisingly forbidden. His thumb swept over your lower lip, feeling the softness and fullness of your lips and suddenly feeling almost desperate to taste you. "Not even your father," he repeated lowly as he met your gaze.

You parter your lips further deciding to bite his thumb playfully. Realizing how close the two of you are, so you started breathing heavily.

Your bodyguard's breath caught in his throat as you bit down gently on his thumb, a shudder of sheer excitement and lust shooting down his spine. He stared down at you, a dangerous sort of heat rising in his chest as he looked at the pretty, full, perfect lips... He couldn't take it anymore. He needed you, right then and there. His thumb brushed over your lip as he leaned in slightly. "...You're driving me insane, princesa." His voice was low and thick with desire.

You played with his tie, your fingers fidgeting the silk black tie material as soon as you see him distracted by your lips. "When am i not." You replied to him smirking.

Jay hummed softly as your fingers played with the tie at his throat, his eyes fluttering shut for a second as the fabric lightly tightened around his sensitive skin. His fingers grazed your chin softly, tilting your face up ever-so-slightly to gain better access to your sinful lips. He leaned in, his breath ghosting over your mouth as he hovered over it, a mere inch away. "You're not playing fair, princesa," he muttered, his voice low and husky.

"Shhh...." You whispered to him, taking him by his tie and smashing your lips to his. Finally you kissed him. Your lips were against his. Ever since you saw him for the first time or even when he became your bodyguard.

He shivered at the feeling of your lips touching his. Soft, warm, perfect. Every inch of his body felt like it was on fire as all the pent up tension from days of being close to you and yet not being able to touch exploded and came bubbling up to the surface. His hands immediately went to your hips, grasping them tightly and pulling your body towards his, crashing his mouth against your soft one and tasting you on his tongue, letting out an almost feral groan of possessiveness.

"We are so dead..." You whispered against his lips as you continue to kiss him, moving your body closer to him. He tasted just as you imagined. Perfect. Suddenly you thought of your father finding the two of you making out in the library.

Jay hummed lowly as he heard your whispered words, bringing your body tighter against him and tilting his head slightly to deepen the kiss. You tasted even better than he thought, and he never wanted this kiss to end. He wrapped his arm around your waist, his other hand coming up to caress your cheek as he kissed you passionately, almost desperately. His thoughts completely turned off, the only thing on his mind now her and the sinful sounds you made against his mouth.

You wrapped your hands around his neck, suddenly pulling away from the kiss, grasping for air. He looked so handsome. So yours.

He panted softly, his chest rising and falling quickly as he gasped for air, his breath mingling with yours. His eyes roamed over your face, your swollen, reddened lips that he just had his mouth attached to, the rosy blush on your cheeks and the dazed expression in your eyes. The sight was almost too much for him to handle, seeing the effects of his kisses on your pretty face. "...What have you done to me, princesa..." he whispered lowly, his voice thick with desire.

"Made you a mad man..." You whispered, tilting your head, caressing his cheek. Maybe the two of you can keep your relationship secret from your father.

Jay hummed lowly, shivering slightly as your fingers grazed his sensitive skin. The light, intimate touch made his chest stir, his heart racing. He wanted to keep kissing you, to pull you against him and keep exploring your mouth and body with his hands and his lips. But the thought that you would willingly keep this a secret sent a rush of possessiveness and affection through him. "... You promise to be mine, princesa?" he asked lowly, his eyes flickering to your lips longingly.

"Does this answer your question." You kissed him softly and lovingly and slowly, pulling away looking at him with puppy eyes.

His breathing hitched as you kissed him again, the softness and the love in that small gesture only making him want you more. He smiled softly and nodded, bringing a hand to your cheek and caressing the soft skin with his thumb. His dark eyes darkened slightly, filled with passion and possessiveness. "Good. Because I don't think I could stop myself from having you from now on, princesa," he muttered.

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Not long after the kiss you and Jay found yourselves making out in the library, garden, bathroom etc. Still being able to keep your secret relationship from your father.

Jay found it incredibly hard to control himself, his hands constantly finding themselves wandering over your body and pulling you close to him when the two of you were alone. It was almost as if all his restraint had vanished, completely replaced by his need for you. He would constantly take you by surprise, pulling you into deserted rooms or hallways and kissing you fervantly, relishing the taste of you as he pinned you against the nearest wall and claimed you as his.

You missed him when your father was spending time at the castle or when he suggested that you make your duties as a princess. But Jay was there to help you, squeezing your hand or rubbing your back. At night, the two of you would find yourselves in his room, sleeping together or making out.

He found himself craving you presence, feeling almost lost without you when he had to do his "bodyguard duties". Everytime he looked over at you and caught your gaze, he had to physically hold himself back from reaching out and touching you.

He couldn't get enough of your taste. Your soft skin and your melodic moans that he would muffle with his own mouth, wanting to memorise every part of your body.

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