#life has gotten the best of me
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⋆｡⠐ happy ✧｡♡
✴︎｡⠐ birthday ⠐⚬⋅｡
⋅｡⠐ to the kindest cutest most loving cheerful hard working greatest prettiest handsomest funniest hottest jakey sim 🦭 ⚬♡⋅｡
⎯ ⋅ ♡ ⋅ ⎯
jake, my love and admiration for you go beyond words. thank you for blessing me with so much joy and love in my life. you’re an inspiration to so many and i’m so grateful for you and incredibly proud of where you are and who you’ve become. and you deserve all the best things, or at least to have the best birthday of your life this year <3 eat well and celebrate lots my love <3 i love you and happy birthday <33
#THE FIRST PIC#has me on my knees 🥲🧎🏻♀️#I CANT TELL YOU WHY I HAVE REAL TEARS IN MY EYES AS I PUT THIS POST TGT#i RLLY miss him :(#i love you jake with my whole entire heart#have the best day ever :’> <3#sparing you all from the spam like last year djsnjd#life has gotten the best of me lately but i hope to be more active soon :’>#sorry i keep disappearing my loves#OH i also tried so very hard for the past idek how long.. MONTHS? to write smth for this special day but aha..#it looks like your girls stuck in a bad case of writers block again :’>#anyway i’ll come back soon#i miss you guys :(#i hate that i’m using his bday post as an update post 😭#happy jake day my loves 🥹🫶🏻#em speaks#♡#happy jakey day! <3
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my relationship with the mountain goats album i've been listening to for three and a half months straight is on a level you could never understand
#this is about Protein Source of the Future...Now! please do not derail#once and awhile i switch it out for a different CD but i can only listen to anything else two times through at most#and then it's back to the good old standard#the songs are just so... comfy????#and almost every one is massively emotionally satisfying over and over#although the funny thing is that even now i could probably only confidently name around half of them?#75% at best#bc my car's CD player doesn't know how to properly read the CD#so the songs are just listed as numbered tracks#but yeah this album and i have been through some SHIT#it has gotten me through such a stressful period in my life and continues to do so#and i am so so grateful#probably not the typical mountain goats album one would say that about but oh well!#the mountain goats#tmg
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it's been a sec since i've done a translation! but i think this comic is really sweet so translation under the cut!! the title on the comic is "kiribaku and tododeku who aren't public about their relationship (having mild heart attacks)", and the caption on the tweet is "i wanna read 10000 stories about people finding out about kiribaku and tododeku's relationships"
Hero Radio OFFTiME! On our program, you can hear top heroes spill a little bit about their private lives. Today's hosts are Deku and Red Riot! What kinds of things will they talk about? Let's see!
Midoriya: Man, you must be tired! You came here straight after a night shift, right? Are you feeling alright?
Kirishima: All good! Besides, you've been working ten days in a row, right? Good on you!
(word bubbles - Very, Very Tired)
M: Alright then, our first letter of the night...this one comes to us from BlueMackerel-san, who asks, "How did you spend your last day off?"
K: Uhh...oh yeah! Hiked 'n camped! And ate a ton of campfire food!
M: Oh, with Kacchan?
K: Yep!
M: He sure does like hiking.
Flashback Kirishima: WHOOPIE!!
Flashback Bakugou: Just eat it
M: What'd you two eat?
K: The works! Spare ribs, and homemade sausage, and meat, and more meat! Bakugou always packs a ton of meat to barbecue, it's crazy good! What about you?
M: Mmm...I slept in until around noon...and I think that day, Todoroki's family invited me over for dinner. His sister is a great cook!
Flashback Fuyumi: Welcome, welcome!
K: Coooool. So we both ended up just spending the day with our boyfriends, huh-
M: UH- um-
K: Huh? OH-! Cut! Cut!! Can you guys pretend you didn't hear that last...
M: Ohhhh my goddddddd
Narration: Our next letter comes to us from DieYouScum-san, who writes, "I'm killing you when you get home"
#kiribaku#tododeku#translation#bnha#this is a short one that's mostly kirishima and deku talkin but i think it's very cute#i'm also still completely in shock that tumblr now lets you go back and fix typos in tags#good on ya tumblr stuff#this is just a super quick translation before bed and i played it kinda fast and loose w the expressions!! but i did my best to get the#meaning across!!#to talk abt mostly unrelated stuff yesterday on my way home from a long weekend i dropped by tokyo and to a huge anime resale store#they had soooo much bnha stuff but pointedly they had a whole separate building across the street for doujinshi#my local anime resale store lately has gotten so few bnha doujin that they stopped sorting them by ship so it's basically not worth looking#but this one had a ton of krbk all laid out and i was this close to not even going into the store but i came out w a little stack!#crazy to see so much krbk in person that i even had my /pick/ of safe fluffy stuff#anyway one of the ones i bought is abt them living together and the cover illustration is kirishima elbowing bkg in his sleep#i was gonna not just read more krbk before bed tonight but it looks so sweet and up my alley#ik i don't post much on here anymore and it's mostly bc adult life saps the paragraph-typing/thread-typing energy out of me#but those guys still have an apartment in my brain#hope you guys are doing well!!
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have not left bed today + found out another friend got locked up + want to beat up every single adult that saw what was happening to me and looked away or actively made it worse
#personal#vent#suicide mention tw#i need to call her. last time we talked she said she was going to kill herself if she got incarcerated again#i love her. nothing makes me more angry at so many systems than trying to do suicide support with my friends who are locked up#trying to do this shit over the phone with people listening in. trying to figure out what meaningful support we can even give#because when she says that death is better than months of solitary i know exactly how she feels and what she means and i cannot fucking#most of the skills mainstream peer support has ever taught me are useless in that situation and my best is not enough#there are so many places that need to be burnt down.#there are so many people i love who are not out and it starts to kill me a little bit#and cops are starting to fuck with us here more. i've gotten bruised up a couple times from being shoved around#nothing too bad yet but just#jesus christ#sorry for coming on here to vent all the time but my offline life is a little crazy at the moment and half this shit i can't talk about irl#i honestly think i need to like. start learning how to fight properly again. bc i have so much anger right now#and learning how to actually fight sounds like a better idea then fucking off and getting into random fights like i used to#idk. will look into it
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oohhh royal knight in training subaru and prince hokke oohhghh
#they have been in my mind can you guess#but like listen#mr akehoshi died in a war led by seiya(king) 10 years ago and now subaru is following the steps of his father#so seiya has a soft spot for him although subaru hates the monarchy for that and onlydoes that bc its the best high income job he can do to#support his mother#also hokke just despises his monarchy duties and one day he is going out of the castle by himself and subaru is like what is this idiot doin#and subaru is like 'Hey you dumbass! where are you going on your own?' and hokke is like 'dont you know who i am? learn some manners before#speaking to me!!' and subaru is like 'of course i know who you are! you are stealing my horse where the hell are you going you clown of a#prince!!!!!!#and hokke ignores him but he actually doesnt know what he is doing so subaru just runs behind him#and after a while hokke gives up and explains that he doesn't want to be a prince so he decided to escape and subaru is like ?? this guy??#and concludes it must be a rebellious phase because he was borned with a silver spoon and just wants to create problems for himself#so he tells him that the life outside the palace is horrible and hokke should appreaciate his life more. everyone would want to be the princ#hokke thinks for a moment and concludes that no. subaru is wrong. and subaru is starting to get annoyed so he sends hokke to the palace#(but in their argument he acutally stole some jewelry of hokke so he sells those to help shinonon the poor guy selling milk and newspaper#and the next day hokke goes to him like 'you stole from me give them back' and subaru is like 'i thought you wouldnt notice. you dont need#them anyway'#and they start arguing again.#chiaki (subaru's knight trainer) sees them and later says to subaru that they seem close#and subaru is like 'no we dont!! he is a selfish jerk who only thinks of himself!' and chiaki thinks he is the only person subaru has gotten#close to#bc hokke doesn't like interacting with guards or maids or anything that has to do with the castle either#so chiaki is like me thinks#so they keep doing sbhk shenanigans and they mutually warm up to each other#at one point hokke brings jewels to subaru personally so he can sell them in the city and sometimes subaru bri#subaru brings hokke to the city in some of their getaways. normal citicens dont know he is the prince just some noble bc of his clothes and#good manners. which subaru doesnt have.#at some point hokke is impressed by subaru's knowledge and he confesses that his father used to steal books from the royal library and then#thought him and his mother and it makes hokke think that they are quite similar#mr hidaka seiya is pretty glad hokke is getting along with subaru since he appreciated mr akehoshi a lot
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Hello! I watched your speedpaints on repeat when I was in middle school (like 6 years ago) and sometimes still go back and watch them for the sake of nostalgia and good music. I just wanted to let you know you’ve touched my life and left a print, thank you 🤍
Thank you. So so much. For sending me this??? The me who made all those youtube videos. Doesn’t exist anymore. Life got harder. In so many new and horrible ways. And that like. Spark to create kinda died. And also I had more important shit to worry about all of a sudden. But. Knowing that it left on impact on someone enough to send me a message. Years after I’ve stopped making them tho. Idk.. that means something.. I appreciate you didn’t forget about me! (/my videos lol. I kno u don’t kno me. My vids and art feel a bit like. An extension of me tho? In a way. But I kno that it’s not a 1:1 thing. My art an videos express thoughts ideas and feelings of mine. But they are not. Me. Just lil slivers of me.. Tiny lil portions from specific moments in time.)
Sometimes it feels like those videos were just a flash in the pan. A brief moment of attention and fame I didn’t grab onto hard enough… and now the moments long gone. but. I didn’t rlly want to grab onto it, I just wanted to make fun videos. And show off my music taste lol. And express. The music videos my brain would create in my head into the real world. And then I got too busy w real life kicking my ass. (Ps. life has now stopped kicking my ass!! It’s gotten better. Just. Not the same as it was before) Maybe I’ll get back into it one day. If I have any new ideas. Once I get stable and know what I’m doing. And get like an iPad or something so I don’t have to wrangle w my laptop lol. But yeah!!! Srry.. I’m rambling a lot.. this message just made me emotional ok! I’m being openly vulnerable in turn hopefully that’s not too weird lol. I’m happy my videos had an impact on your life!! That means. A fucking ton. Like. Words cannot properly express the weird happy feeling that gives me in my heart. Thank you so much!! For real!!! Srry for getting all in depth about my life again this message just!!! Struck an introspective chord w me!!!
#like.. god damn#I guess it’s like… when I think about back then. and now. it’s weird. it’s so so weird#but this rlly! made me really happy to read!!! Srry if my reply is inarticulate or weird I’m bad at words and this is like a complicated#emotion to express without getting way too sappy and introspective and vulnerable#so I gave up on not being sappy and introspective and vulnerable to try and express it!#but I probably still didn’t do it 100% properly lol. hopefully u get the idea tho!#so yeah. thank u lol#I hope u have a good life dude! from: the guy who made those vids u liked…#time and life are so weird.. I hope we all get to have good life’s. u ask person#me. anybody reading my tags. anybody not reading my tags. idk!!! I just hope shit goes well! and we can get thru the bad times!#and have a good time. bein alive. to the best of our abilities…#ok. I’m gonna shut up now. this has gotten sappy and emotional enough ghghg#thank u.. again… Srry for goin off in weird tangents my brain just felt compelled#I have comfort nostalgia vids I like watching too. that just. mean a lot to me. I’m happy. that my videos can give u that feeling!#assks#sorry that’s my tag for. responding to asks. I promise I’m not calling u an ass#idk why I made that my tag ghgh- lil me was fuckin stupid lol#I say that w affection but I def was ghg. ok now for real for real shutting up! thank u again!
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God they better be living their best life in the 30s as they are in the modern au or else I will cry Alexis I'm very emotionally invested in these pixels - LGL
Oof, LGL, baby…
I, um, cannot make that promise. Mostly because the AU is sims-world gameplay vs. a sim-ified version of the real world that serves as the framework for a story, if that makes sense? So the goal of the legacy is never going to be this sort of best life experience, but to tell a somewhat realistic story in the confines of the medium (that being the sims and Tumblr).
In other words, think of the AU as vacation mode. Everything is all good in vacation mode, your worries and reality kind of cease to exist for a little while. That being said, ahem, I may have added some drama to vacation mode because I am who I am babes I cannot be tamed I cannot be stopped.
And have no fear, if you’re emotionally invested in vacation mode/our AU pixels, we’ve got quite a bit of time with them until we go back to the real world 😉
#I too am emotionally invested in the AU pixels#everything is so calm and wholesome and I love it here#much less stress in creating too#BUT as I hinted at yesterday I wrote a ~little~ storyline with a ~little~ pain and I am obsessed with it#telling me that well clearly my brain loves a bit of drama and sadness ya know#in fiction writing of course#exploring emotions like that has been one of the most interesting things to me in writing this story#and after a while AU best life grows a little flat#it’s why aging is off in the save#it’s meant to me a snapshot in time of happiness not a story#ANYWHO that may be the most tags you’ve ever gotten out of me LGL my sweet baby angel#another episode of#Nonny reacts#and Heathen goes off on an unasked for tangent#the cycle of life continues#gif warning
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thank god chappell roan didn’t release good luck babe in summer 22!
#i unfortunately had a homoerotic female friendship that ended abruptly and tragically#she was my best friend for YEARS like we met when we were 11#i knew i was queer pretty early on but it’s so painfully obvious in hindsight how badly she was repressing everything#we fell asleep together she liked every guy i liked she was invested in every female situationship i had#like it was so painfully obvious what we were but we were just an undefined weird tension homoerotic pair of besties!#she always wanted to know every detail of my sex life w women refused to hear about the men i was w#she would hold me when we watched movies she wanted to do everything w me and she hated me after we graduated hs!#last conversation was on her birthday haven’t spoken to her once since#this song has sent me into a 3 day spiral session if you can’t tell 😭#never fully gotten over her but i see her post w her new friends at her school 6 hours away like cool cool okay#you’re going to ignore i ever existed instead of confronting your feelings okay! don’t know why she wants nothing to do w me anymore tho#crazy stuff it’s been a year and a half since we stopped being friends but i think about her a lot and i wonder if she thinks about me#i have 2 playlists about her she still follows me on spotify but she didn’t even wish me a happy birthday#at the end of the day i hope she figures everything out. you’re nothing more than his wife and all that#this song THIS SONG SHE WONT LEAVE MY MIND#probably delete later. we’ll see cause all my friends are sick of hearing me talk about her but i can’t stop she’s been in my mind since#this song dropped so thanks chappell 🥹🥹🫡
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i really do love practicing 🎻
#i'm in music school so now it's a much more significant source of my already very significant fears#but practicing only feels stressful when i don't do it enough and i'm trying to 'catch up'#some weeks fly past me like hurricanes and i get to my lesson and i can't say i've made any progress and that fucks me up#and i don't think that's ever going away- like i'll always have weeks like that cuz everyone has bad days and bad weeks#from time to time#but when i plan correctly (which is becoming more and more the norm for me) my practicing is something im really proud of :)#i have a System. i didn't do very well before i had it and i would die without it now.#i get excited about learning! i get excited having realizations abt things to change or work on when i practice!#it feels experimenty a lot of the time and i like it!!!#i have a lot of catching up to do in terms of comparing myself to others but i'm not here for them i'm here for me#i will do my best and i will learn from others of course but my goals are to make my Me better first and worry abt other people later#i won't lose sight of that#<- and when it doesn't feel experimenty it can be calming to just be like okay ik what i need to do now just. Practice. Repeat.#i mean music is a fucking rollercoaster and sometimes you are at the bottom and i hate that but it comes w the territory#sometimes you're just Stuck but you do get past it and in those moments i just try to think back to previous times ive felt like that#ive felt horribly shitty before and gotten through it and come out the other side slightly better!#life is like that i think#anyways. hashtag iris loves music and being a musician 🙄 nothing new over here hehe
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Blessings!
#I always forget to do these when I'm actually FEELING joy!#usually it's when I'm sad and need to remember that I'm blessed despite what my emotions are saying#anyway there are so many I can think of rn!#started DSOM Bible classes yesterday and I am PUMPED also my profs are sweethearts all of them#and I'm in class with my dad and a bunch of other people I love dearly from my church#got to chat with Dad on the drive home and that was nice because we hadn't really gotten to in awhile#I could write paragraphs about the blessings of yesterday tbh#as for today I have homework to do :D#and I just had the loveliest cup of tea#(earl grey with honey vanilla cinnamon and milk in my best beloved mushroom mug)#also God is teaching me again that it's ok to ask people for help. my brain is so mean sometimes but where does my help come from?#that's right the maker of heaven and earth so the 3 lb lump in my head has to yield right of way methinks#I am thankful for all this and for all the people in my life who love so well and so persistently#and for God who loves me most and best and enough to teach me hard lessons
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natsume book of friends season 4 opening sequence has got me incredibly fucked up. the lyrics. kid natsume's tiny little legs and teenage natsume watching him run. the lyrics. nyanko-sensei burrowing into his arms. did i mention the lyrics? ending frame on the fujiwara family. including natsume. because he's part of their family. as the lyrics ask him to "please [not] keep suffering alone"? somebody fucking hold me.
#i'm actually almost done with season 4 because i have no self-control. and every time i watch the opening i'm like#no this has only gotten more potent since the last time i watched it. we are reaching danger levels#natsume yuujinchou#natsume's book of friends#my posts#season 4 is the season of tanuma just completely destroying me on every level. why is every single character like this??#every time he learns something about natsume he's like oh so this is what it's like for natsume?#and then it happens again and he's like wait natsume ALSO has THIS OTHER THING to contend with??#and again: AND A THIRD THING?? WHY MUST THE WORLD'S BEST BOY NATSUME TAKASHI SUFFER???#he just wants to help natsume deal with stuff and i am on the fucking floor#his thought process is just#this is hard for natsume. i wish i could help him. maybe here's a way i could help him? he doesn't want me to though because it would#put me in danger. but i don't want him to be in danger either. and i'm telling him that to his face. i don't think it's really#gotten through to him but that's okay i will just keep telling him. now i'm realizing that the thing i did to help him maybe just made#things harder for him. this is hard for natsume. i wish i could help him. maybe sometimes the best way to help him is to just#respect his wishes and yet remind him that he can lean on people and that people love him as much as he loves them#the part where tanuma realized why natsume doesn't tell the fujiwaras about youkai gutted me#this kid is so emotionally astute and such a sweetheart#i just watched the episode where natsume loses his picture of his parents and his old house is getting sold and i cried. SO many tears.#tanuma putting his foot down for once like no actually you need to admit that something is bothering you this time#we can find this picture. ask us to help you do this thing that we can actually do for you. you don't need to be sad for no reason#mmm can't be coherent about it just rest assured it was extremely harmful to me and also exactly what i needed#anyway the season 4 opening song as the thing you say to your younger self who lives inside your current self because#you can't actually go back in time and be the person your younger self needed to have in their life. so all you can do is love that child#in absentia but so so so fiercely and with your whole entire heart#all you can do is give your current self all the love you have for the child you were#jesus CHRIST
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Ok I feel like these cards:
Shouldn't have gotten me this far:
#twisted wonderland#twst#team Vil holding on for dear life#i think my cards are broken#like I used these teams for each battle#they should not have gotten me this far I don’t know how they did#ONE OF THEM IS AN R!#the tragedy of my best Azul card being an R card at level 20 (not groovy)#ok but you guys should've seen my brain mentally going through my card list trying to come up with teams#the mental gymnastics#these teams are literally the 'best I can do is' meme#Azul in my team literally parallels Azul in Chapter 66 he's just here cause Im stuck with him and this card has the most HP#i am now regretting not trying to get his Halloween card I have no Azuls#they way they are the first team I picked and they just... worked
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ik ive not been active at all anyways sort of explanation/me complaining in tags
#i have gotten progressively worse lately in terms of physical health and its just taken a lot out of me tbh#over the past few months ive developed chronic pain and fatigue drs still arent sure if its fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue but whatev#in any case ive been in tremendous pain everywhere it's not been fun at all#i also have this new thing where i get a tremor if i hold things too hard and while it is relatively painless it still is making life harde#esp since i am an art student so im kind of stuck not rly knowing what to do atp#ive just not been in the best mindset and while i recognise that disability is not ugly in any way i do just feel harder to love now#like i dont think my personality is fun enough to make up for all this idk if that makes any real sense#ive also been temporarily put on birth control its a long story but it's only until i get scheduled for a minor surgery most probably#but yanno birth control has unfun side effects and i feel like im going crazy most days#ik this all probably sounds pretty silly but idk. its been hard to feel genuinely attractive lately.#forgot to add this but there was some other stuff that happened thats definitely effecting just my self image and libido and stuff lately#long story short someone i trusted ended up crossing multiple physical boundaries and passed uncomfortable comments abt me and similar shit#its not been fun to deal with in any way yk?
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I just want to once again apologize for not replying to things (IC or IMs). Life has still been extremely stressful, and last night my family lost our eldest cat. He was severely sick for the last month or two, and after losing my dog back in September it’s really taken a toll on me. So dealing with this has added to the lack of activity in the last few months. (And now some of our other animals are having issues with their health which we’re hoping it’s nothing, but life keeps kicking us so it’s scary.) It’s....been a lot to deal with and I’m not really handling it well alongside my usual mental health garbage.
I wanna get back to doing things here and messaging friends. It’s still just gonna take me a little bit longer than I’d like. So I’m still gonna be pretty slow, but I’m gonna try to do my best to ease back in to things where I can. Goro Day is also this Saturday so I’d like to be here to do some things as well! So hopefully I can do that.
Either way, I hope everyone’s been well. I love and miss ya’ll lots! 💙
#; OOC || Bri ♟️#//I feel so bad that I still haven't been doing stuff and I've been making everyone wait.#//And that I constantly make posts like this nowadays. But I just want to remind you guys that I'm still here and not ignoring anyone!#//Life has just been really difficult and it's been one thing after another.#//And most of my energy has gone towards keeping up the will to exist.#//So I'm doing my best even if I wish I was doing more.#//Still thank you all for being so continuously patient with me as I try to navigate life right now. It means so much. 💙#//Also I've gotten some new followers and such despite not really writing a whole lot which kind of shocks me.#//But I'm excited all the same! Thanks for stopping by and I'll try to check out everyone's stuff as soon as I can!!
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Oh by the way. Life update cause I’ve said absolutely nothing recently
#the semester is kicking my ass (what’s new)#my next semester will not having marching band so it cannot be more miserable#i applied for a job I’ve wanted for ages and I have a great resume for it#I’m still very much in love with my ex#my therapist is not very useful at all. she’s an intern. she just wants me to vent and offers completely inane advice#it’s like. oh your financially dependent on your parents? get a job#ok man. 9$ an hour is not gonna pay my monthly rent of ~$575#seriously this town has shit options for jobs it’s so bad#oooh. another favorite. I’ll tell her I really love my ex and she’s my best friend but there are times where I know I deeply need to get#over her. and my therapist is like. idk why u can even stand her. break your lease and cut her out of ur life#bitch????? did u miss the party where I said she’s my best friend whom i love very very much??#or the. well why don’t you just tell your parents you don’t have to come home for Christmas and don’t#and it’s like. yes I want to visit for a few days I just wish the flights weren’t so busy. also the financial dependency would kick my ass#i get my adhd assessment results on the 18#hopefully I will start antidepressants at least by my birthday in January#i still get along with our third roommate. that’s never happened!! ever!!!#she’s so great she’s awesome we love her so much#if she doesn’t resign this lease I will straight up die. I’m resigning it for her#she cleans?? it takes me so offguard every single time???? crazy. it’s great#i have not gotten to play a lot of games. hardly any at all#my beloved ex and I played a couple we were here games#those were super fun#i got drunk for the first time a couple weeks ago#took somewhere from 10-15 shots to do so. i think I started getting drunk at about 12#went shot for shot with military man my landlord#king. he’s my favorite guy out here. his wife?? equally as great. they live right below us it’s kinda fun#my room is a hot mess. this week upcoming is finals. i hope I get a chance to deep clean#and oh god. do laundry. the laundry needs done so bad#anyways. that’s what’s new#soup talks
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