#life in an autism world (facebook)

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Life in an Autism World

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

I have stopped screaming and crying and now I am just numb. I guess that is a bit of a breakthrough because normally I don't scream and cry at all until much later.

I think it's the autism I have always had a severely delayed reaction to things but this time it was so bad it just took me over.

I opened up Facebook to find that yet another friend of mine took his own life.

I am almost to the point that either I am losing count of the friends and relatives who have died by Suicide or I am just breaking down and blocking them all out.

That was my friend Ben. By the time I met him he was already in a relationship and so was I but we hung out a lot. We would send each other songs that we liked and I was really attracted to him. That is not a very good picture he was so much more handsome on his better days.

It's like meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife

The girl on my other side is his girlfriend Laura and they were together for years. Then I'm not sure what happened but suddenly they were not posting together on Facebook anymore and Ben was posting more and more rather scary sounding statuses.

He had told me that he had tried to kill himself several times. And I guess we bonded over that.

That was when we worked together. We were all friends his girlfriend, myself, and the music and art teacher who were married. One time they even made a band together and played gigs around town. It was because of them I found out about this awesome band called Murder Monroe. Those were truly the best times. Before covid happened and before the venue which was a coffee shop and music venue didn't survive the covid shutdown and went out of business.

Later on after he & Laura moved away he would put cryptic status on Facebook and I would message him and ask him if he wanted to talk and send him my favorite songs to try to comfort him.

He would always send me the same song back when he was in that mood. And it was kind of a song about how maybe if we had met in a different time things would be different.

Other times he would send me awesome videos of him playing guitar.

I drew this picture 5 years ago when I got a call telling me that one of my former students ---whom I was very close to --killed herself at the age of 13.

I still think it sums up exactly how I feel every time this happens.

I am so heartsick and just at a loss. We had not communicated since Christmas and he had only posted on Facebook of very few times with anything personal. The few times he did post it would be him saying how depressed he was and how he had no friends. And I would always message him and let him know he wasn't alone and ask if I could help and after a while he just didn't respond.

I'm glad he is no longer in pain but oh my God I just wish he could have hung in there.

I can't imagine what his ex-girlfriend is going through having been with him for nearly 10 years. She said in

her post that a few weeks ago he blocked her and then of course we find this out today.

Ben Benavides was a special ed teacher, a 4th/5th grade teacher. He was an introvert who was clinically depressed. He was a guitarist, he was a music fan, he was a great listener, he gave the best hugs, he felt things far more deeply than anyone else did.

He gave his all to his students to the point that he would nearly have nervous breakdowns over the stress of not being able to help them enough. He was a goth, he was a metalhead.

I didn't know him as long as most and yet he touched my life profoundly.

My dear Ben,

I am better for having known you and I am so pissed off that you left me and left this world.

Goodbye Ruby Tuesday who could hang a name on you when you change with every new day still I'm going to miss you.

[bogkeep]

How would you describe your experience with being half Czech and half Norwegian? Really curious cus I never see alot of osmosis between nordic and slavic countries.

oh boy that's a really big question that's pretty difficult to answer! this is kind of a major part of my life and identity and not really possible to crystallize into a concise point, since it's just... my whole life :')

one part of this is just the experience of not fully belonging to one place and culture, of being caught inbetween, which is something a lot of people all over the world understand and relate to, i think. this might sound niche but i have a fondness for graphic novels about coming of age where the protagonist is is the child of immigrants and has to navigate their way through honoring their heritage and fitting in with the culture they live in at the same time. maybe this sounds dramatic for someone who belongs to two european countries that are only 2-3 days of driving apart, but that's my truth haha.

another part is the more specific differences between czechia and norway as countries and cultures with different language families, which is something i can talk about at length, for sure, but like... every place has its differences, even two towns in the same country. sometimes it's difficult to know what's a real difference between two places and what's just differing personal experiences.

some things:

- one of the most iconic christmas movie that plays in norway is Three Wishes for Cinderella, a czech made cinderella adaptation (tři oříšky pro popelku). the version that plays in norway has been dubbed over by the same voice, a method referred to as russian dubbing. this movie is so iconic and beloved they have done a remaster of it, making it crisper and more colorful, but they cannot make a better dub or the people of norway would revolt. for a while i had no idea this was such a big deal, because i would spend every christmas on czech, and for me, cinderella was just one of many fairytale movies. my grandfather would always tape the fairytale adaptations on VHS and would get me to watch them when i visited for the summer. it took me a while to get into any of them, since i vastly preferred cartoons over live action TV (i have many fond memories of czech cartoons. víla amálka, rumcajs, rákosníček, krteček, lots of classics), but i enjoyed a lot of them eventually. i think the first one i liked was one called Nebojsa, about a guy who feels no fear. my eventual favourites would become Král Sokolů (the king of falcons) and S Čerti Nejsou Žerty (give the devil his due) - the latter becoming a christmas movie For Me.

- a big difference between norway and czech, culturally, is politeness conventions. norway is very informal and introverted, more first name basis than last names - in fact, i don't know the last names of any teachers i had at school except for ones i've found on facebook. i used to spend a couple months every year of grades 1 - 5 in czechia, to go to school there and practice the language. not only was school more advanced and stricter, but i'm pretty sure i was supposed to refer to teachers as Mr or Ms Last Name and i did not know this. i apparently caused quite a ruckus in first grade, but i only have my family's word for it. i remember almost nothing of my time in czech first grade except crying on my first day because i was so overwhelmed. another thing i did not realise until i was a teen was that when talking to strangers or people Of Respect, you refer to them with a Plural You until you've reached enough familiarity to switch to Singular You. it's accepted for kids to refer to everyone with the singular - same vibe as referring to every familiar adult woman as your auntie - but i've made quite a fool of myself multiple times calling cashiers and waitresses by singular you when outside of the Acceptable Age Slot. if it sounds like an autism nightmare that's because it is :'D

- i think every person in europe has been to prague at some point. every person i tell i'm half czech to tells me they've been to prague. it's a pretty city though! check out the astronomical clock

- there is a small community of czech and slovakian immigrants in my norwegian hometown. obviously it's not Every Czech Person in town, i've run into a lot of czech speaking people at random every now and then, but yeah! i think the biggest community event that gets arranged every year is Mikuláš in december. it's very reminiscent of Krampus celebrations. essentially kids are expected to perform a song or poem in front of st. Nicholas, an angel and a devil (that's the krampus in this instance), and then they get evaluated and told if they've been Good or Bad this year before being given candy (with a piece of coal or potato in it because everyone is a Little naughty sometimes). after growing out of being one of the children, i've contributed by playing the devil or the angel a couple times each.

for some reason there's a lot of people from the czech community in the historical archery club my mom and i are both part of. we actually have a lot of immigrant members, so for something so viking aesthetically coded it ends up being a fairly multicultural experience!

[steffloui88]

Two years ago, I was once the happiest and most excited employee, working for company known as Wondermation Productions. For years, I had been working on my voice acting career. I would provide my voice for plenty of online animations and projects, but I dreamed of getting my voice into bigger places, not for fame, but to make other happy and because I absolutely love voiceovers. One day, I was approached online from a (then) friend, offering me the opportunity of a lifetime...the chance to provide my voice for an animatronic for an upcoming theme park ride: Kooky Trails. After an audible chat online with the bosses of Wondermation, I was declared the brand new voice of "Floozy". I was ecstatic, telling the world on my social media that my dream was coming true. My friends and family were so happy for me, I was happy, happier than I ever was in my life. Unfortunately, like life itself, happiness never lasts...I was being told that I was "too nice" by anonymous members and eventually as the weeks went on, nearly two years after being announced as the voice of the titular character, I was given some rather disappointing news on Good Friday, April 2023....I was being let go of Kooky Trails, a decision made for all the wrong reasons. Since then, KT's been getting a lot of backlash for the decision and the worst part is, they CLAIM to celebrate autism, so...why remove me? Because I was too nice? Because I had an eccentric sense of humor? What the hell?

Wondermation have to realise that being nice is contradictory. Autism comes in different patterns and sometimes nobody knows what to expect from it, it can be mild or it can show easily. Getting rid of me is total discrimination, worst of all, Wondermation and Kooky Trails' pages on Facebook have even blocked anybody who drop 1 star ratings and reviews on their page, that alone is unprofessional and disgusting. If you can, please sign the petition to boycott the ride, because I've been discriminated and let down and let go for all the wrong reasons.

[the-autistic-agoraphobe]

I was scrolling through my Facebook when I came across this monstrosity. There is alot wrong with this post and I am going to discuss it.

First Autism isnt something that should be prevented or cured  to "prevent" or "cure" Autism is like trying to stop me from existing in a way because if I wasn't Autistic I wouldn't be the person that I am. Being Autistic affects every aspect of my personality and my life. When I hear the words "preventing Autism" or "curing Autism" I hear that people like me shouldn't exist. Which is very harmful and hurtful. Autism is not a bad thing it is a neutral thing and a natural variation of humans. To "prevent" or "cure" Autism is like trying to "prevent" or "cure"  gayness which isn't right. Autism isnt a disease or illness.

Secondly most Autistic folk don't believe the colour blue should be used to represent Autism because it is associated with a group known as Autism Speaks. Autism Speaks has been very problematic to Autistic folk as they advocate for a "cure" for Autism and subject many Autistic people to abusive therapies. They don't listen to the voices of Autistic folk when it's our disability. Most Autistic people prefer to use the colours red and gold instead.

The next problem is that Charlie Brown and Snoopy are wearing shirts that depict a puzzle piece symbol. Even though some Autistic folk like to use the puzzle piece as the missing piece to the mystery about why they have felt different for many years and found out that they're Autistic many Autistics are against the puzzle piece symbol for Autism. There are a few reasons for this. One reason is that Autism Speaks which was mentioned above uses it heavily. Another reason is that it implies that we are a puzzle that needs to be solved. Again Autism doesn't need to be cured. Only Autistic people should use the puzzle piece. A popular symbol amongst the Autistic community is the infinity symbol which implies that there are infinite ways of thinking.

The last thing I want to mention that it is highly likely that the business "Cooly sunny" isn't ran by Autistic people as they have made many mistakes with his post that an Autistic person wouldn't make. I feel as though they are taking advantage of Autism to make money. If you wish to support Autistic people this April I would advise buying Autism stuff from businesses owned by Autistic people. There is plenty of good Autism stuff for sale on Etsy.

I would advise that Cooly Sunny should stop selling these shirts and make an apology to Autistic folk and learn more about Autism from Autistic folk. They also contradict themselves by saying that they want to get rid of Autism but yet to accept Autism that doesn't make sense. Remember this April to listen to Autistic people about Autism. It's our disability and we know what being Autistic is like through first hand experience.

Image Descriptions:

1: There is an advertisement on Facebook from a brand called "Cooly Sunny". There is black text on a white background that says "Autism Awareness & Prevention Autism Awareness Month is is coming! We Wear Blue to rep the love, support and attention we give to those we love. Join the fight to end Autism with our new Autism Awareness & Prevention T-shirts. Care more about the vulnerable groups around you, they are kind but need your love! To help others is to help yourself, let's unite, give this cold world some more warmth! Everyone is matter! Everyone is loved! Shop Now (link to shop)

Hashtag AutismAwareness hashtag Autism hashtag Blue hashtag Love" Their profile picture is "cooly sunny" written in black text on a white background.

2: There is a blue shirt with white text on it. The white text says "I wear blue for Autism Awareness accept understand love" Snoopy who is a cartoon black and white beagle dog is on the shirt beside his owner Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown is a white cartoon boy. Both Charlie and Snoopy have their heads tilted up so you can see underneath their chins. They are both wearing blue shirts with puzzle pieces on them. End Descriptions.

[vivianseda]

Thank you Em from NeuroWild

“For adults wondering how they can help their child develop a positive neurodivergent identity. In other words, how can we help them embrace their Autism diagnosis?

This is not an exhaustive list of suggestions or a timeline that you have to rigidly stick to.

But it’s a good place to start.

As well as the things listed in this resource, I would also encourage you to share specific resources with your kids. For example, my stuff on the Double Empathy Problem, especially when kids are going through social challenges (say mid-late primary and onwards).

Talk to them about Spoon Theory, and show them that resource- especially when they are feeling the weight of exhaustion from existing in a Neurotypical world (probably late primary and onwards).

Show them the one on fluctuating capacity.

Show them the one on executive functioning and how it relates to regulation.

Read through the available resources and have a think about whether it might be useful to look over with your kid. Keep the conversation open and invite questions.

We need to do our best to make sure our kids have the info they need to make sense of their brain and their life.

They deserve to feel good.

Yes?

Em 🌈”

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Life in an Autism World

[erikasandersonactor]

I saw a Facebook ad/post proudly announcing “Autism Awareness and Prevention Month” followed with the tag line “Join the fight to end Autism!”.

It left me fuming and yelling fuck off very loudly at my screen.

Then, a few minutes later, the artwork for a theatre show I’m appearing in popped up to balance things out.

“Aliens Do Exist” is a brand new one act play following a young woman, Jess, throughout her life as she tries to blend in to a world not built for her, and her journey to self discovery.

This is a beautiful, heartwarming, funny, poignant and eye opening semi-autobiographical account about neurodiversity and autism.

I’m especially proud to be involved in the cast, playing a multitude of characters.

ALIENS DO EXIST is on at the Limelight Theatre, Aylesbury 1-3 March.

[salt-baby]

Hello! I am a person with an invisible disability, and I also have trouble socializing because I’m autistic. I sometimes worry that my interactions with other disabled people will come across like I have a weird attitude toward disability just because I’m incredibly fucking awkward and seem like I have a weird attitude about everything. I would like to have some friends who are also disabled in real life- I feel very lonely and isolated right now, struggling to manage my disability and slipping under the radar, and I just wish I had some people to commiserate with. But I worry that if I try to seek out conversations with disabled people they might take it the wrong way or not believe me, i.e. think I’m just some weirdo trying to identify with them baselessly and invade their personal lives. I just wondered if you had any advice. I have gotten the message loud and clear that I’ll never fully be welcome in my social circles of able-bodied people, but I’m scared to try and forge relationships with other disabled people. Thanks for any advice!

Good news - I'm also autistic! I haven't talked about it on my blog before, because to me, my autism doesn't feel disabling and I like my blog to have a narrow focus, but I definitely do relate to wanting to reach out to people and feeling too awkward to manage it.

Regarding other disabled people doubting you because you have an invisible disability, or because you might talk about it in a different way than other people, I wouldn't be too worried. In my opinion, disability is an indelible trait - that is to say, it's something that changes you as a person and always leaves its marks on someone. When reading, I can usually tell when an author is disabled. The shared experiences we've all had make it easy to recognize each other, even if medical gear or signs of illness aren't explicitly visible.

Even if the way we communicate isn't the same as others, that doesn't mean that the truth that you are disabled won't come out. It'll be in the way you talk about disability (likely radically more accepting than most people would be), the way you treat others with a disability, and the way you talk about yourself. There are some things that only disabled people ever seem to understand, because some things you just have to live to get.

I won't lie and tell you that all disabled people will recognize you as one of their own - some disabled people, insecure in their own disability, will try to claim you're "not disabled enough" to make themselves feel better. I can tell you that I believe you, that your disability is an objective fact, and that these are people you wouldn't want around anyway. Every disabled person is already "disabled enough", and I think doubting our fellow disabled people always does more harm than good.

As for seeking out disabled people, I think it can be difficult to navigate. It's a lot easier for people over thirty to find other disabled people than it is for people younger than that. You might try looking for local disability organizations, support groups, or local Facebook groups, but often the people who attend these events are older, and these sorts of groups can be hard to find outside of big cities. There is also a symbol of invisible disabilities: the sunflower lanyard, which you might find helpful. I personally like to wear sunflower motifs, to represent my POTS, but nobody has ever commented on them.

Still, 1 in 4 people in the US are disabled - we're the world's largest minority. By happy accident, I've found that being open about my own disability has helped other disabled people find me. If I talk openly and casually about my knee braces, other people who wear braces will start to mention theirs to me. I think this makes it easier for others to talk about it - disability is still a taboo topic, and sometimes other's aren't brave enough to discuss it openly. When I mention it first, casually, and often, it not only normalizes it but makes it easier for others to join me.

As a little autism pro-tip, I think we tend to have a bit of a surprise tool when it comes to social interactions: our sincerity. I personally find it very easy to be blunt and sincere, and others very much so appreciate being told they're valued. If you meet someone with a disability, and they talk about it with you, thanking them genuinely for it can be a great tool. "thank you so much for talking about that with me, I'm so relieved to find another disabled person" or "that was genuinely such a helpful tip, thank you so much for sharing that with me" or "you're a really cool person, I'd love to talk with you again!" can all be really great ways to make sure our autism isn't read as disinterest. You and I may not show our emotions like others do - sometimes neurotypicals need it spelled out, and if they don't, saying something sincere like that can never hurt. Just make sure you're telling the truth and that it's from the heart. It took me years to realize others thought I was checked out and standoffish when really I was listening closely and excited to be there, and this is the solution that's worked best for me.

I wish you all the best. You seem like a very lovely person, and I think if we knew each other in real life, we'd be friends.

As always, if you want, you're welcome to send me another ask or dm me. I'm always happy to talk about disability.

[stevensaus]

Post 1

Someone in an autism facebook group I'm in just asked "How am I supposed to earn enough to make a living without burning out?"

Someone replied: "You're not. Even neurotypicals can't right now in the system designed for them. We're the canaries in the coalmine. When we start failing, they know something is wrong."

Post 2

People keep saying, "Oh, everyone thinks they're neurodivergent now!" or they'll say it's the foods or chemicals or whatever other nonsense they've fallen for, but to me the answer is so obvious?

We've gotten to a point that more and more poeple are being left behind by the system, making it so that neurodivergent parents who could get by fine enough in decades/centuries past are bringing children into a world that cannot and will not attempt to accomodate them. There's nothing in the water, and people aren't faking, it's just that this is no longer sustainable or livable and of course people with disabilities will be hit first and hit the hardest. There aren't more people with it, it's just harder to go through life without being aware that you're not functioning the way your peers seem to be able to.

[straycatboogie]

2023/04/10 English

BGM: Cornelius - Star Fruits Surf Rider

Today was a day for the hospital. I went to there and met my job coach. With my doctor, we talk about myself a lot. The doctor said an advice to me as "Anxiety affects as your insomnia so you should get fid of it from your workplace basically". The job coach taught to him about me a lot, and I thought that I should trust her fully. After that meeting, the job coach said to me that she had joined in the Facebook group a friend of me had as an admin. "We will meet the people we should meet", she said so, and I thought that I have to think thankful for the meetings with my job coach, and also various activities with a lot of friends. I am powerless so can do nothing alone. Connecting with others would give me a power, various lessons, and a certain self-confidence. Yes, I am basically a happy person.

At a LINE group which talks about philosophy a lot like a cafe, we talk about my autistic character a lot. An user said that "autism is a kind of gift", and it let me think a lot. I don't treat the words "gift" or "talent" a lot. Indeed, there are exactly some people who have great "talent", but we shouldn't judge people as that "the gifted skill of them". Even though they don't have any great skill, even though they are just ordinary citizens, they must be precious people who are to be respected. This feeling might come from the belief that I think myself as a ordinary citizen. Not thinking ourselves as great ones because of any great talent (for example, there must be a lot of people who speak English as well as I), but just accepting ourselves as their natural size. That is important.

After taking a nap, I couldn't feel comfortable in my room so tried to visit AEON and change my mood. I read Natsuki Ikezawa's "Nautical Chart and Logbook" again. Accidentally, because of the discussion in this book, I thought of a primal question. "Why do I read books?". To this, all I can answer is just "it is a habit since my childhood". Or "because there are various books in this world already"... I never think reading is a sublime activity. It is as well as learning English or watching movies as a way of spending time or learning. Not from the reason why reading is great, but the reason why I "naturally" read them... It might be the same as the reason why I live. Not thinking my life is meaningful, but living automatically as my body wants. Or, naturally I live... and that is precious primarily.

In the night, I joined another philosophical cafe group in LINE openchat. At there, an user recommended a video which Akira Asada, a Japanese philosopher analyzed Ryuichi Sakamoto's works. I enjoyed it, and was really impressed how sharp Asada could analyze the difficult works by Sakamoto. This can be done because Asada knows both classical music and pop music well. But I had a different opinion from him because Asada had said as "now the scene must be devastating". Although my knowledge about music must not be rich as Asada's, I think of some Japanese great musicians as Keigo Oyamada and Yoshihide Ohtomo. Their works can have a value to be global. We also have to think about how "city pop" has been praised from all over the world. Indeed, some of "J-POP" might be not opened to the world, therefore they satisfied with themselves as crap. But there are certainly those kinds of phenomenon I wrote above. It is too early to lose any hope I believe.

https://jbpress.ismedia.jp/articles/-/74715

[tnpx]

I recognize them. I simply find y’all logic preposterous, and I refuse to participate micro hierarchical social oppression for clout— wait, 🧮 … no I checked the math. There is no benefit to stepping on people for personal gain and doing so is punishable by death according to your gawds.

Reposted by “Life in an Autism World” on Facebook.

Image transcription

Tweets by “ashlee is the sound of distant thunder” aka @ashleeofjupiter

1: I've read here and there about how autistic people aren't able to recognise social hierarchies. Obviously I can't speak for everyone, but in my experience it's not that I haven't been able to recognise them, it's that I don't respect them and I don't care 🙃

2: Basically, there are a bunch of things that are said about autistic people that are based around what we are 'unable' to do when for me, it's just that I don't place value on them in the way that neurotypicals do

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