#like 5 seconds he started off very well like talking about the bible then lost train of thoughts and starts talking about a rabbit he saw

[papasmistakeria]

Father Dougal McGuire’s sermons must’ve been insane

[ms-rampage]

Hello. You must be tired of me, no I really like the way you write. Can I ask imagine for Supernatural? Y/n is the sister of the archangels and Chuck's favorite daughter. After being captured and tortured by Asmodeus, y/n is broken, and Chuck tries to support his daughter. Please. I really like the kind Chuck who takes care of his children)

The Broken Archangel

No its fine! I don't mine 😁😊

Summary: Y/n is kidnapped and tortured by Asmodeus for several years. She’s rescued by Arthur Ketch, and is taken to the Winchesters, where God makes the discovery of his youngest Archangel. 

Warnings: Some language, mentions of torture and rape. I apologize in advance. This might be a little bit dark.

______________________

Y/n was captured by the Prince of Hell, Asmodeus while she was protecting her older brother Gabriel.

She was taken to Hell where she was tortured and completely drained of her grace. Torturing her in ways, for her to give him the locations of her elder brothers Gabriel and as well as Lucifer either one of them.

She spent 8 years in Hell, being drained of her grace, making her a broken Archangel with little no no powers. 

He was feeding off her grace, keeping her locked up in the deepest parts of Hell. Sewing her mouth shut. 

Locking her in a cage inside a dark room, keeping her in solitary confinement. 

She was basically his “little pet”. He drained her dry of her grace to make himself powerful and be ruler of Hell. Other than him torturing you, taking away your grace, he did other unspeakable acts to you, that you wished to never speak of, or even think of. With him weakening you, he knew you wouldn’t be able to fight back or defeat yourself. 

Making you feel dirty, disgusted and making you want to kill every demon in Hell. Wanting to kill that white suit, KFC dickhole. 

“So Y/n?” he asks, holding a sharp blade in hand wiping it with a hand towel “Where are those two brothers of yours?”. 

You say nothing, sitting on the floor staring down at it, with a metal collar around your neck, attached to a chain on the wall. 

You knew he was asking about Lucifer and Gabriel because Michael and Raphael are dead. He knew your grace wasn’t as strong as theirs.

“I asked you a question doll” he says, kneeling in front of you. You don’t dare to look at his face because you’d want to bitch slap him, and you would. 

He straightens his posture, and grabs you by your hair, pulling it to make you look up at him. 

You cry out, you try to hit him back but the chains around your wrists prevent that. 

“I asked you a question, and you will obey it!” he growls, “I know your grace isn’t as strong as your brothers. I’m nearly done with you, a good 60% done with you. So where is Lucifer, and/or Gabriel?!?”. 

You didn’t know the locations of Lucifer and your “twin”. Even if you did you weren’t gonna give them up. Finally being able to speak. 

“Fuck off” you wince out. Knowing that response wasn’t gonna go well with this demon. 

He clicks his tongue, kneeling in front of you again. “You know I’ll break ya, and when I do I’ll just dump out like the angel trash you are”. 

Fast forward to several years later, and still under the torture of Asmodeus.

You are rescued by the British Men of Letters. Arthur Ketch because him and the Winchesters needed the grace of an Archangel to keep a rift open to go into the Alpocalypse world.

Since Lucifer and Gabriel were nowhere to be found, AU Michael is a douchebag, but Team Free Will weren’t the only ones looking for an Archangel.

Chuck spent the last several years searching for his youngest Archangel, his favorite daughter. Going from one world to another searching for her. Every universe he had created to find her since she left Heaven. 

When Ketch brought her to the bunker, to the Winchesters, Chuck was able to track her down. On Earth in Kansas. 

Him, and along with his two sons went to her location. 

“Wait, wait” Ketch says to the two brothers aiming their pistols at him, he lifts his arms up to show that he means no harm ”I come bearing a gift”. He pulls you from behind the wall by your arm, showing you to Sam and Dean. 

They put their guns down, looking at you and Arthur confused. 

“Uhhh who is that??” Dean asks, pointing to you. 

“This is Y/n” he tells them, sitting you down on a chair in the library, “Archangel Y/n”. 

They look at each other, still confused. “Archangel??” Sam asks him. 

He clears his throat, putting his bag on the table “Yes Archangel”. 

“I thought there were 4 Archangels??” Dean asks, glaring at him. 

Shaking his head, “Nope, there are 5. Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Gabriel and her” he tells them, pointing to you.  

You sit there, staring off into space. Your lips sewn shut, your all bloody and beaten after years of torture. Zero grace left in you. 

Stammering, and not knowing what to say “I don’t-. Where did you-” Sam not knowing what words to use. 

“Where did you get her??” Dean asks Ketch for Sam. 

He sighs, “From Hell, she’s a feisty, stubborn one. She’s low on grace but enough to open the rift”. 

You’re still in a trance, zoning out when it’s broken by another celestial energy in the room. 

“Y/n!” a familiar voice shouts, Sam and Dean turn around, and see Chuck, a worried and scared look on his face. Seeing you for the first time in several years, possibly centuries. 

You look up, and see your father. Eyes widened, even though you look, and are broken. Can only express one facial reaction, he can tell you wanted to cry.  

You look up and down at him, as he cautiously approaches you. Thinking that this is all some game Asmodeus is playing with you, when he reaches to move your hair away from you face, you wince away from his hand. 

Scared for anyone to even touch you. When Ketch rescued you, you were terrified, you had no idea who this British man was. So you didn’t trust him, even if you couldn’t tell him. He knew you didn’t trust him. 

“I’ve been searching for you” Chuck mutters to you, “For centuries, I’ve been looking for you. I thought I would never find you”. Almost in tears, his voice starts to break, looking at what has become of you. How weak and broken you’ve become. 

Dean clears his throat, getting his attention, “I don’t mean to interrupt. But why didn’t we, or the whole world know about a 5th Archangel??”. 

He turns around to face the two brothers, “Because I never wrote about her in the Bible or in any of my stories. I wrote about the other 4, my 4 boys but her” he motions back to you, still sitting on the chair, “I never wrote about her because she was always my favorite. My favorite daughter, she’s the last of the Archangels and the only girl out of them. I needed to protect her”. 

“Well looks like you did a great job” Dean sarcastically mutters. 

Later that evening, they put you in Sam’s room. You sat on the bed while Sam removed the stitching from your lips. The pinching feeling of the threads being removed hurt more now than when they were put on. 

Castiel enters the room, just as Sam finishes up with removing the stitching on your lips. 

He looks at you in shock, you look up and see your little brother. 

“Sam” he says in a soft voice, “She shouldn’t be here”. He looks at him confused. 

“Why?! What’s wrong?!” he asks. 

He looks over at you and says, “Because she is wanted, not only by Hell, but Heaven as well”.  

He looks at Cas, eyebrows raised, “Why is she wanted by Heaven??”. 

Castiel sighs, “I’m not sure, but if she’s wanted it's not good”. 

“Can’t you heal her?” he asks, “Is there anyway you can do that??”. 

He sighs, approaches you and puts his hand on your forehead. The second he does he hears your voice, in your own mind say. 

“I must reiterate”. 

“It’s not possible for an Angel to heal an Archangel” he tells Sam. 

They both leave the room to give you some privacy, and alone time. Feeling free that you’re no longer chained to the wall or to the floor, and not being tortured every minute of every day. 

The door opens, and Chuck steps in. Making you look away from the open door. Pressing your knees up to your chest, pressing yourself against the headboard. 

“Y/n?” he mutters, slowly sitting down on the edge of the bed, “Y/n, please I want to help you”. 

Being too scared to even look at your father, he sighs in disappointment. 

“Y/n, I want to help you. What happened to you?, please tell me”. While Chuck is talking to you. The bunker gets two more surprise visitors. 

Word got around Heaven that you were there at the Winchester’s bunker, and word got around to Lucifer and Gabriel as well. 

The two Archangels made their way to the bunker even though they weren’t together, arriving at the exact same time. Separately. Startling Sam and Dean, making them have their guard up. 

“What the hell do you want??” Dean asks, pistol ready in hand. 

Lucifer rolls his eyes, “Calm down Deano, I heard a little rumor about a long lost sister” he tells them. 

Gabriel appears right after he says that, “Where’s Y/n?!” he asks, frantically looking for his “twin”. 

“Why are you here?!?” Sam asks him. 

He rolls his eyes in annoyance, “It’s quite obvious! Isn’t it?!”. He goes down the hall towards Sam’s room, where you’re at, Lucifer follows behind him. 

The two brothers follow behind them, and the two Archangels burst into the room. Startling you, making you fall out of bed onto the floor. Trembling out of fear.

Chuck tries to reassure you, “Y/n, Y/n, it’s okay. It’s your brothers”. You look up and see your older brothers. 

“Y/n?!” Gabriel mutters, slowly approaching you. Chuck helps you up, back onto the bed. You look at him wide eyed, seeing your “twin” again. 

“Why are you two here?” Chuck asks the other 2 Archangels in the room. 

“We heard about Y/n” Lucifer finally speaks up. 

Their normal conversation starts to turn into a heated argument between a father and two sons. 

You on the other hand, you feel yourself grow angrier and angrier. Not at your father and brothers, but at the fact that they’re fighting about something that doesn’t even matter anymore. For the first time in several years you finally speak up. Loudly, very loudly that the whole building shakes. 

“Stop!!!!” you scream loudly, causing the entire bunker to shake, making the lights flicker on and off. Making a few light bulbs burst into sparks. 

Sam and Dean cover their ears, shielding their hearing from the ear piercing screech you’re producing, while the other 3 look over at you. You look up at your father and brothers. Slowly standing up from the bed. 

“Asmodeus” you mutter before speaking slightly louder, “I was sold off to Asmodeus by those Pagan fuckers. I was tortured, I was abused, I had my grace stolen from me. He weakened me, he did things to me that should never happen to anyone!”. 

Trying to hold back tears, “He used me for his own little affairs, he abused me. He violated me!” you scream, causing the walls to shake again. Making your lips sting from the stitch wounds around them.

You cry out these words, and they hurt even more explaining to them to your own family. The looks on all these men's faces soften, looks of empathy, looks of despair. Gabriel automatically knowing who did this to his little sister, to his twin. 

“You don’t forgive those who did nothing but put you through constant pain, and torture. What he did to me you don't forget, nor do you ever forgive!. He made me feel vulnerable, live in constant fear. I was betrayed, I was backstabbed. I was protecting you two!”. 

Your older brothers look at you with sadden eyes. “I was protecting you two from that Colonel Sanders demon prick!” you cry out, shouting through the pain. 

Chuck trying to hold back tears. He knew deep down you're broken, and so did your brothers. Feeling horrible that their little sister, their youngest daughter went through a lot of pain and abuse just to protect her family. Knowing that she may not fully recover from the pain she endured for the last 8 years. 

[itsclydebitches]

Discredit Pt. 2: More Recommended Reviews For A.Z. Fell’s

Alright, folks. Some notes first: 

1. You all rock. I’m sending out 20k+ virtual hugs for all the notes I NEVER expected to get on this nonsense. 

2. This is probably the final section, just because I’m not sure I can adequately follow up part one and it might be foolish to attempt it here. Let alone twice. But for now, here we go. 

3. Kudos to the anon who reminded me of Aziraphale’s cash-only policy <3 

4. Nicole Y’s review is based off an actual comment I read years ago, but heaven only knows where online it was. I’ve got the memory of a goldfish. 

5. Trigger warning for the use of a queer slur in this. It’s the same review as above, number 5 if you want to avoid it. 

6. There’s a text-only version of just the reviews at the end, after all the images. I’ll upload that to my Sparse Clutter collection on AO3 in a bit. 

Bonus 7. People thinking this is a real shop deserve all the good things in this world. 

That’s all I’ve got. Hope you enjoy! 👍

****************************************************************************

I’m a simple guy who likes simple jokes. If there’s a whoopee cushion I plant it. I will call you up to ask if your refrigerator is running and then tell you to go catch it. (Actually that one died out so thoroughly it’s actually capable of a comeback now!). Yes, I’m a dad and yes, I have a t-shirt that says Dad Jokes? I Think You Mean Rad Jokes! which I wear un-ironically every Saturday. All of which is just to say that my wife was well prepared for my stupidity when I walked into Fell’s.

I? I was not.

You see the bibles when you walk in? The ones to the left? Let them be. Don’t even look at them. Definitely don’t pick out the fanciest one you can find and absolutely don’t walk up to the owner with it held in your pudgy little fingers, grinning like a loon, cheerfully asking whether this should be in the fiction section. Just don’t. Mark my words you’ll regret it. Though your wife won’t. She’ll get a great old laugh out of it all.

In conclusion: it’s quite possible that mama did raise a fool and he just got his ass verbally whooped by a guy in a bowtie.  

***

Shout-out to Mr. Fell for being the only decent bloke in this city. I’ve popped in and out of his store for years—including before I started transitioning. So he knew my dead name, dead look, whole shebang and I was definitely nervous to play the ‘You know me, but this is what’s changed and are you gonna throw a fit about it?’ game.

You know what he said? “Oh, Rose! What a lovely choice. Crowley dear, why aren’t you growing any roses? Some white ones would look splendid next to my Henredon chair.”

That’s it. He just went straight into dragging his partner for not giving him roses. So hey, Mom? Next time you’re snooping through my social media why don’t you explain to all these nice people why the 50+yo book seller accepts me in ways you won’t. Don’t go telling me age is an excuse or that you’re ‘Stuck in your ways.’ I’ve watched Fell dress in the same damn clothes since I was ten!!

Yeah. Sorry. Rant over. Fell’s a gem. That’s my take. Rose out.

***

Anyone else in the shop when that guy started yelling about buying pornography? And then got escorted into the back room for some ‘private conversation’? Well done, Mr. Fell! Didn’t know you had it in you.

***

Alright alright alright alright I am TOTALLY calm about this.

Went into A.Z. Fell’s last Thursday. Not because I knew anything about the place. Just because I’ve been hitting up every bookshop within a twenty-mile radius, asking if they’re hosting any book signings. Long story short I self-published my novel Blight last month—which you can get for a mere £5 here but I swear this isn’t a promotional thing I’m just BROKE—and have been looking for networking opportunities, tips, stuff like that. So the owner listened politely as I explained all this. Then said he didn’t do anything of that sort, which didn’t surprise me given the shop’s vibe.

But then? Then??? He offered to let me do a signing there??????

As said. Totally calm about this. This man either plans to kidnap me or is actually giving me my first shot at an audience outside my blog. AKA totally worth the risk.

Tuesday the 9th. 7:00pm. Just in case anyone’s interested ;)

***

holy sweet baby jesus i was tripping balls last week you tryin’ to tell me that kING KONG SIZED FANGED FUCK SNAKE IS REAL

***

Witnessed the most perfect exchange the other day:

Grumpy Dude With No Manners: “You. Boy. Where’s the man I spoke with over the phone?”

Mr. Fell’s Partner Who Knows Damn Well Only Two of Them Work There But Clearly Doesn’t Like This Guy’s Tone: “Did this man give you his name?”

Grumpy Dude: “Might have. Don’t remember. Sounded like a fairy though.”

Me: “....”

My girlfriend: “....”

This Poor Sweet Startled Kid On Our Left: “?!?!?!?”

Fell’s Partner In The Drollest Voice I’ve Ever Heard: “None of us have wings. Out!”

***

This shop gets full stars simply because every time I walk in they’re playing Queen.

I mean, I’ve walked in once, but once is enough when you’ve got Crazy Little Thing Called Love blasting full volume.

***

Okay, I’m still kind of shaken up but I needed to write this out somewhere and this seemed as good a place as any.

I spilled my latte on a book. Just tripped on thin air, popped the lid, and chucked a venti’s worth of coffee all over a very expensive looking text. I didn’t mean to, obviously, but it happened and I just started bawling on the spot. Full on sobs because this semester has been absolute hell, I ruined this guy’s antique, there’s no way I can pay for it, I can’t even sneak away because I’m drawing the whole store’s attention...just all the things all at once. I really was straight up panicking and was seconds away from pulling out my inhaler. I couldn’t breathe.

And then Mr. Fell showed up.

Jesus it’s embarrassing to admit but I think I hit him once or twice. On the arms I mean, because he was trying to touch me and I figured, I don’t know, it was a restraint or something. He was going to call the police and hold me until they got there. But then he managed to start rubbing my back and I lost it like I hadn’t already been bawling my eyes out in this shop. Ever cry into a perfect stranger’s chest? I have! But if Mr. Fell seemed to mind he definitely didn’t show it. Just kept holding me while I probably ruined his shirt and then took me into the back and made me a new coffee in this cute little angel mug. He let me stay there while I called my sister and waited for her to arrive.

She’s a good twenty minutes outside of Soho, so we talked for a while. It’s not like Mr. Fell could fix my shit roommate or bio classes, but I guess just talking about it all really helped. I was a lot calmer by the time my sis arrived and Mr. Fell insisted I come back any time I wanted—for browsing or more coffee.

Of course, sis offered to pay for the book herself. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so surprised in my life. “Certainly not!” he said. “Contrary to popular belief, no one should pay for their mistakes. It’s what makes you all so wonderfully human.”

So yeah. Thanks, Mr. Fell.

***

This little shop must have started a book club for kids! Lately I’ve seen the same group of children hanging out at Fell’s. Three boys and a girl. They’re a bit rambunctious at times, but who isn’t at that age? So wonderful seeing literature passed down to the next generation. Even if some of it is rather questionable looking...

***

It’s an honest crime that more of you aren’t talking about what a wonderful bookstore this is.

I’m a book lover at heart and Fell’s always makes me feel like I’m coming home. I just arrived somewhere safe and familiar after a particularly harrowing day. I’ve slipped under the covers of my bed after dinner and a bubble bath. It’s something like that, but with an element of surprise too. One of the reasons why I adore private and used shops over chain stores is that little touch of chaos. You walk in and sure, there are general sections to browse, but everything is just a little bit disorganized from people leafing through books and then putting them back somewhere else. There’s no real record keeping, you’ve just gotta head to one particular corner and hope for the best. It’s not the sort of place you go to if you want something specific because the chances of them having it are slim—that’s just how the universe works—and even if they did no employee knows where it is anymore.

But if you wander the shelves for a while, crouch down low to get a look at everything on the bottom shelf, pay attention to the books that don’t have easy to read titles or any summaries to speak of... you just might find something you didn’t know you were looking for. That’s Fell’s: the comfort of the familiar and the excitement of the unknown.

*** A lot of people might assume that these stories are embellished or outright made up, but as a bookseller myself going on twenty years I believe every single one of them.

That being said, I accidentally moved a rug and found chalk sigils that look like they belong in a cult. Make of that what you will.

***

There’s a special place in hell for 21st century shop owners that only take cash. Who carries cash anymore? Not me! I haven’t bothered with that nonsense in years! You can get a card reader for 15 pounds on Amazon. Or you know what? Be stingy and pay 7 for the little attachment on your phone. This place is nuts if it thinks it’s going to survive much longer on a cash-only policy, especially with some books that look like they’re worth hundreds or thousands of pounds! Yeah, yeah, just let me pull out this giant wad of bills for you. I’ll carry them around a crime-laden city because there’s no ATM near you either.

I mean jesus, you’d think this guy didn’t want to sell anything.

***

I walked in. There was a man screaming at a fern while another threatened him with an umbrella. I walked out.

5 stars do recommend.

***

I once walked in on the same (?) guy yelling at a book for daring to fall on the owner’s head. I think that’s just a Thing over there.

***

Like a lot of people here I didn’t actually go to Fell’s for any books (flat tire, Angel Recovery taking forever) and ended up staying three hours (not because of Angel). No, I wandered towards the back and found this ancient CRT set propped on a table of books, the kind that my Dad used to watch Twilight Zone on. This lanky guy had a marathon of Gilmore Girls going... though how he was managing that with a broken antenna and no DVR, I really don’t know. But yeah. He told me to pull up a chair and I did. Guy gave me popcorn.

I wish I’d paid a little more attention to his name. Charlie? Curley? I really can’t remember, but thanks for the enjoyable afternoon, man.

***

I BOUGHT A BOOK HERE

Not sure how though. Just kinda happened. First edition of Just William. Frankly I didn’t even want the thing, but the owner basically shoved me out the door with it when I took two seconds to look at the spine. Odd that he was so willing to part with this one.

Update: ... hold up. I didn’t buy a book because I never actually paid the guy. ‘Basically shoved me out the door’ was literal. Do I go back??

***

This page has really gone feral the last couple of months so I’m just gonna bite the bullet and say it:

Anyone notice that Fell’s snake and Fell’s partner are never in the same room together?

***

I really don’t like the implications of this…

***

This is precisely why the Internet has turned into a cesspool. You all should be ashamed of some of the stuff you’re writing here. Can’t two men just be friends anymore? Two real life men? These guys aren’t some characters for you to ‘ship’ or whatever. Quit making outrageous assumptions about their sexualities and use this website for what it’s actually for: reviewing the bookshop. Honestly I’m so sick of this sort of this shit.

***

Dude. They run a queer-focused shop together with a flat on the second floor. Fell calls the guy ‘Dear’ and he’s always calling him ‘Angel.’ People have literally seen them kissing. If you want I can give you the number of my physician. He might be able to help you pull your head out of your ass.

***

What the hell is your problem? I’m literally just reminding people to stop making assumptions. It’s gross and insulting. These guys check their Yelp page. You really think they’re gonna be okay with this stuff?

Also: I’m not the five-year-old relying on insults, so.

***

Making an account purely to set the record straight: I’m the hot twink in question and I married that angel. Peace

[pompompurin1028]

Ok, I just finished "The Setting Sun" and wow I may have read a little too fast towards the end because I was so excited and eager to finish but I'm very much in awe of the whole novel. I hope you don't mind if I just put down my thoughts about it :')

Ig I should put a SPOILER WARNING and obviously, there's:

TW: Mentions of suicide

First off, my opinions of the main cast:

I honestly had very neutral feelings towards Naoji in the beginning but shortly after his suicide and his note to Kazuko I felt that I understood him a lot more. Maybe it was partly because the story took place in Kazuko's POV that I had a more discontented viewpoint of him but afterward I felt I understood him more as a person.

With Kazuko, I personally liked her character and the fact that she didn't seem like she was written to be the "perfect woman" like I've seen in some novels. She has flaws and I think her love for her mother is something I found interesting. Although towards the end, I felt that her love for Mr. Uehara sort of anchored her down.

Kazuko and Naoji's Mother was honestly my favorite character of the whole series. I adored her from start to finish. All the way from when she was first introduced she had a sophisticated and genuinely kind aura and when she died I honestly felt a little part of me die as well, haha. But her last line in the book: "It must have been a terrible rush for you" pulled my heartstrings a lot.

Secondly, I just wanted to ramble about some of my favorite quotes from the book lol

The first quote I highlighted was a line Kazuko says: "...The ones who die are always the gentle, sweet, and beautiful people." Which honestly felt so Dazai-like. In both the case of Dazai-sensei and the BSD version of him. There were so many times I wondered if it was the character speaking or Dazai-sensei himself adding himself into the character.

Another one I liked was "I wonder how it would be if I let go and yielded myself to depravity." I don't really have a comment on it, I just sort of liked it lol.

I highlighted so many in all honesty but I also wanted to point out this one: "The dying are beautiful, but to live, to survive--those things somehow seem hideous and contaminated with blood." Again, it just seemed so beautifully raw and just something I envision BSD Dazai saying and believing as well.

In Naoji's suicide note I almost felt as though it was coming from not just him but from Dazai-sensei as well. Which I'm beginning to see is a recurring pattern in the novel. In particular, this one line stood out to me: "Why must I go on living after what has happened? It's useless. I am going to die. I have a poison that kills without pain. I got it when I was a soldier and have kept it ever since."

I loved the Snake Metaphors(?) throughout the story. And especially Kazuko and Naoji's POV of their mother and how they call her "the last lady of Japan" I think they truly honor her and it's interesting to see such two somewhat lost and "tainted" characters almost obsess over this "light" and genuinely kind woman they hold in such high regard. It almost reminds me of BSD Dazai's opinion of Odasaku or even Atsushi.

That's mostly it- I just really wanted to talk about those things and overall I loved it a lot. It's been a while since I've been so absorbed in a book so reading it felt very relaxing and at the same time so riveting. I hope you don't mind me popping into your inbox and chattering on about this :')

Okay, before I begin, Ariel please don't apologize for putting down your thoughts here. I love discussing Dazai-sensei's novels, and I can't even begin to express how giddy, excited and overjoyed I am to receive this ask of yours. And please if you would ever like to discuss more of his works, feel free to chat with me as well, via asks or on discord it doesn't matter😭❤, I'm always down for it. And this whole thing is me rambling over this so please bear with me haha.

And, I want to say, I was extremely eager to read and finish the novel as well as I continued on reading. It is strangely alluring and compelling. And honestly, I tend to be in awe of Dazai-sensei's thoughts and writing as well😫💕.

Okay, so before I begin to address your thoughts on the novel. Let me write down some background information on the novel to hopefully give you maybe a better understanding of it and Dazai-sensei as well?

The book was published in 1947, not long after the end of the Second World War which ended in 1945. The book in general talks about the state of Japan after the Second World War, and the decline of the aristocracy that came with it. (It should be noted that Dazai-sensei came from an aristocratic background as well, but he also seems to have a sense of shame towards it). The title of the book is literally a metaphor for the decline of Japan. Japan is often known as the "land of the rising Sun", and therefore "The Setting Sun" as the title is fitting for this theme.

And well, this defeat created according to here (an article written in Chinese unfortunately😥) caused a great change in moral values in the Japanese society, which caused an uproar for democracy. Dazai-sensei, however, was quite critical of this, as he sees this as a sign that the Japanese do not feel any guilt or remorse for their actions in the war that took place. (From what I've read Dazai-sensei in his works is very much known for his sense, albeit unusual for Japanese writers from what I read, of guilt, remorse and in a sense seeking for atonement, in one of his prose he even wrote that he writes literature for "remorse, confession and reflection" [my translation from my native language]).

Also, it should be noted that The Setting Sun is also deeply inspired by a diary written by one of Dazai-sensei's lovers (especially chapters 1 to 5 I believe). However, Dazai-sensei himself is best known for his I-novels and their semi-biographical elements. In one of his short stories, or prose in his book I am reading, he confesses that he cannot write things he doesn't know or hadn't felt for himself...

Now onto your thoughts on the novel!

Naoji, I honestly felt the same about him at first, but the more I dove into the novel, especially in the chapters Moonflowers and his note to Kuzuko, I felt more connected to him. And when I read the novel I felt as though Dazai-sensei had actually reflected a part of himself in Naoji, and I read something from what @/bsd-bibliophile had said which confirmed that perhaps Naoji was in a sense an extension of Dazai-sensei himself. (Same for Mr. Uehara I should note, who is also an extension of Dazai-sensei, which I had also noted as well when reading the novel).

And yes! I loved Kuzuko as well, and I have to agree with your statement about her love for Mr. Uehara. I was somewhat disappointed with that as well. But I actually had just been reading on something today which is a bit interesting. However, I do not know enough on the topic yet, nor am I entirely confident at myself explaining it at the moment, but I will talk about it briefly down here.

CW Religious Mentions [Christianity] (Feel free to skip if it makes you uncomfortable <3 For this is simply for literature analysis uses)

Before I begin, I should note that Dazai-sensei is by no means a "religious person", many scholars do not believe so either. It was mentioned in a paper that he even holds a critical view of the Church. However, Dazai-sensei commonly mentions the Bible in well the prose of his that I am currently reading (which brought me to research this topic). It was written in some papers that I am reading that he simply understood the Bible through his own means and not what the Church says (perhaps he sees it as a piece of literature as well in a sense...). Some papers say that he formed his unique views of the need to find "atonement" for his own guilt due to this, which some say is not often seen in Japanese authors.

I'm getting off-topic, but what I'm trying to say is that some scholars say that that action by Kuzuko might've been an allusion in a sense. But what the paper was trying to say was that it was meant to be something powerful? But, personally, I'm not sure what I think of it, it might be a bit far-fetched. But I just wanted to make a note of it.

End of CW

And yes! I do agree I loved their mother as well. I loved how genuine and kind she was. I think she is my favourite too, but she also acted as a form of symbolism for the theme of the novel I believe, which I will talk about briefly later on.

"...The ones who die are always the gentle, sweet, and beautiful people."

I really liked this quote too actually! And yes, I can definitely see Dazai-sensei saying this... It is hard to tell which part is him confessing, but most of his work tends to have elements of his own feelings and thoughts. Personally, I think it might be Dazai-sensei himself speaking... But I'm not sure, but it should be noted that Dazai-sensei held the concept of "tenderness" in high esteem (other people have also mentioned it here).

And honestly, I get what you mean when you say you don't know what to say about it haha. Sometimes authors just put sentences and words together so beautifully.

And yes, I definitely understand that! I felt that as well, and as I said, Dazai-sensei seems to have put elements of himself into Naoji...

And ahh the snake metaphor! I read on it a bit before, and some say that it might've been symbolizing the decline of Japan/the aristocracy. And the use of the term "the last lady of Japan" seems to symbolize the fall of the old traditions of Japan. It had seemed to me that their mother was a symbol of the "old Japan" that had fallen after the war.

And yes, they do hold her in very high esteem! I wrote that in my analysis as well before! From what I have read, Dazai-sensei does seem to hold such people highly, especially those that are honest and genuine it seems. And yes, exactly, it reminds me of BSD Dazai as well T^T.

And please, thank you for coming over to chat with me about it haha. You could probably tell by how long this is how excited I am about such topics😅. Don't hesitate to come by if you want to chat more! And I'm also really glad that you liked the book as well <33

[365days365movies]

March, 6, 2021: Wolfwalkers (2020) (Part One)

I love Cartoon Saloon so goddamn much.

Before I’d seen a single Ghibli film, I was a big fan of the Irish film studio because of their first film, The Secret of Kells. They’d also done a few TV series in the years prior (I’ve heard of Skunk Fu!, and have no interest in seeing it), and still make a few to this day, but the first time I’d heard of them was with Kells, a delightful movie that borrowed from both Irish history and folklore in their telling of the making of a famous illustrated version of the Bible, and a young boy’s friendship with a mysterious forest spirit.

And yeah, that movie is great, but I didn’t have much to go off of then. And then, 5 years later, they released their second film. And that one fucking BROKE me.

Song of the Sea is the second in what would become director Tomm Moore’s trilogy of movies based on Irish folklore, and was a bit more contemporary as compared to Kells. That one’s about a boy and his mute sister, whom he blames for the death of his mother. However, his mother is not dead, but is a selkie, a mythical Irish mermaid that becomes a seal when donning a magical coat. And it turns out that his sister is one as well!

And you think, “aww, look at the seals, they’re drawn so cute” FUCK ME IT’S BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTBREAKING. It takes a lot from Irish mythology, from giants to owl-women, and it’s a fantastic fuckin’ movie. And then, three years later...Tomm Moore’s directing partner stepped up.

See, while Moore was developing Song of the Sea, his partner from Kells, Nora Twomey, stepped in with her own solo project: The Breadwinner. We leave Ireland this time for a book adaptation based in Afghanistan in the 1990s, where a young girl is forced to pretend to be a boy in order to provide for her family (which was apparently a common practice). A LOT happens in this one, and it’s goddamn fantastic as well! It lost to Coco for Best Animated Feature at the Oscars, and...yeah, that’s fair. It’s hard to beat Coco.

But wow, a 2-D animated feature-based company! WHICH IS FANTASTIC! Seriously, in a landscape with fewer and fewer 2-D films in theaters, I’m overjoyed to see these guys hanging in there with some fantastic films! And just when I’d neared desperation for a new Cartoon Saloon feature...here comes Moore.

Ohhhhhh, let’s fucking GO! The last entry of the Irish Folklore Trilogy, today’s entry is Wolfwalkers, a film that was exclusively released to Apple TV, which I got SPECIFICALLY for this movie. It’s $5, I can afford it.

But I am absolutely pumped for this one. It’s based off of the legend of the Werewolves of Ossory, a kingdom in medieval Ireland in which there was a legendary tribe of people with the ability to turn into wolves to hunt in the forest. It’s also based upon the Irish wolf, a population of grey wolves (Canis lupus) on the island that were sadly extirpated  in 1976. People, man. People.

But OK, let’s get this baby STARTED! Been wanting to watch this one since I heard about it, and I’m excited! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

Kilkenny, Ireland, in the Year of Our Lord 1650! A group of loggers are working in the gorgeous and atmospheric Irish forest, when they’re accosted by a pack of...honestly very cool looking and well-designed wolves. One of them is caught by the pack and scratched up, then they all retreat.

A large mysterious woman with big red hair and her young daughter stop the wolves from hurting the man further, and also heal up his scratches. He thanks them, and they flee with the wolf pack as the angry townsfolk chase after them.

Wolves are the enemy of the townsfolk, and those townsfolk include the newly-arrived Bill Goodfellowe (Sean Bean) and his daughter, Robyn (Honor Kneafsey), who’ve just moved from England. Bill is a hunter, and his daughter is eager to help him in his endeavors, armed with a crossbow and her falcon, Merlyn.

Bill is on the way to hunt wolves, as assigned by the Lord Protector of England. Robyn badly wants to join him, but it’s dangerous out there, and the Lord Protector forbids children beyond the walls of Kilkenny. Robyn wants out, though, as she’s an English outsider in the Irish village, and this is at a point where their relationship was at an all-time low.

Robyn, clever girl that she is, finds a way to use a group of bullies to distract the men guarding the gates, and sneaks out to the forest with Merlin. As she follows her father (currently unbeknownst to him), she hears a cry warning of a wolf. Robyn runs off to investigate.

A group of shepherds are being accosted by a pack of wolves. Robyn tries to shoot one of them, but the panicking sheep knock into her, and she fires her arrow at...Merlyn. Fuck! I already liked him! The commotion grows...until a distinctly human howl is heard from the forest, stopping the wolves in their tracks. Robyn looks over at the downed Merlyn.

The little girl takes Merlyn away, and retreats back into the woods. The wolves block Robyn’s path, and as they’re about to attack her, Bill arrives, and shoots one of them with his crossbow. The human howl is heard again, and the wolves retreat, one of them injured. Bill chides Robyn for going into the woods, and she tries to go back to get Merlyn. But Bill promised her mother that she’d keep her safe...which means that she’s almost certainly dead. Well, damn. 

They leave the woods, only to be berated by the logger from the beginning, Seán Óg (Tommy Tiernan). He tells Bill off, as the increased logging under the Lord Protectorate has angered the wolves and the people who live with them, whom he refers to as “Wolfwalkers”. But Bill insists that the Lord Protectorate wants the woods cleared, and the wolves exterminated. Seán badmouths the Lord, and of course, who would show up but...

The Lord Protectorate is...oh dear FUCK, it’s Oliver Cromwell (Simon McBurney). Cromwell was a NOTORIOUS asshole for a lot of reasons, and he plays a big role in Ireland’s subjugation by England in the 1650s. I’m in no way educated enough to comment in detail on that, but like I said earlier: it’s a rough time in Irish history, and Oliver Cromwell, cruel, paranoid, but technically historically important douchebag that he was, was right at the center of it all. 

Fun fact, Cromwell actually overthrew the Monarchy shortly after this, during the English Civil War, and became the ruler of the Commonwealth of England. After his 1658 death, his son took over, until he was overthrown by the return of the Monarchy, via King Charles II about 3 years later. And he was SO FUCKING PISSED at the whole affair, that they had Cromwell’s corpse dug up from Westminster Abbey (where kings and queens and Charles Darwin are buried), beheaded, and stuck on a pike on Westminster Hall! Damn.

Anyway, this Oliver Cromwell is just about to overthrow the Monarchy, and he wants Ireland under his heel. He’s commanded the woods to be cut down in order for farms to be established, and Goodfellowe is assigned to exterminate the wolves completely so that that will happen. Upon seeing Robyn, he commands the guards to take her to the scullery, where she’ll probably be trained as a scullery maid. Yay, child labor!

Seán, having just seen the girl with the wolves, tells Robyn who she is. He tells her that the Wolfwalkers can talk to wolves, and will also heal the injured with wild magic. To go back into the woods, she unlocks the cage that Seán Óg was thrown in for insulting Cromwell. His sheep are also in there, and the release of  Seán and the sheep causes enough of a distraction for Robyn to flee into the woods.

Once there, she quickly finds Merlyn, who has indeed been healed by wild magic . Once there, a red wolf approaches her. Robyn readies her crossbow, but Merlyn prevents her from firing, and she gets caught in a snare as a result. During a struggle, the two clash, and the wolf bites Robyn.

She falls out of the snare, but also sees a new kind of vision, seeing the wolf as the girl from earlier in a beautifully animated type of vision. Her arm swirls with golden magic as well, emanating from the bite. Merlyn follows the wolf as they run away, and Robyn’s pursuit of the two leads her into a beautiful hidden grove, with a massive waterfall. Behind it is a cave, covered in drawings of humans and wolves. And that’s not all that’s in the cave.

At the center of the cave is the girl and her mother, sleeping and now surrounded by the wolves. The red wolf becomes yellow energy, and the energy goes into the little girl, who wakes up. Robyn is immediately found out, and the young girl approaches with the wolves at her back.

This is Mebh (pronounced “Maeve”) Óg MacTíre (Eva Whittaker), and I’ve IMMEDIATELY taken a liking to her, from her voice to her character design to her personality. Robyn doesn’t feel the same way, as the two clash. Mebh bit Robyn, but she was actually trying to get her out of the snare. The man are getting to close to the woods, which Mebh isn’t happy about, but Robyn says it’s “their” woods. Here we go.

Mebh uses her wild magic to fix the wound, before it’s too late. I get the feeling that it’s too late. Robyn tries to find out more, including who her mother is, but Mebh chases her off with her wolf pack in tow. And before I get to mention it, I just want to say that this is my favorite design for cartoon wolves. Real talk, I love this good bois. In the process of the chase, though, she’s again caught in a snare, which Mebh frees her from.

But as the two banter again, Mebh senses a “townie” like Robyn in the woods. It’s Bill, and Robyn goes to prevent the wolves from hurting her father. After a close call, Mebh points Robin back in the direction of the town, and blindfolds her to prevent truly discovering the location of the cave...this time. She guides Robyn back, but runs off when she smells food.

Robyn and Merlyn make their way back, and we overhear two shepherds from earlier talking about how one could turn into a wolf if bitten by a Wolfwalker. So, yeah, werewolf rules. Makes sense, given this story’s basis. The two shepherds also have Robyn’s crossbow and fresh bread. Mebh and Robyn work together to steal the food and crossbow, and run away together. Fast friends!

The two young girls bond, and share their struggles. Robyn wishes to go back to their simpler life in England, and wants to spend more time with her father, potentially in the woods. She warns Mebh that the forest is about to be cut down, endangering her and her pack. Mebh notes that her mother went to look for a new place for the pack to live, but hasn’t come back since. Robyn promises to tell her father about the Wolfwalkers and the struggles of the wolves. The two new friends part ways, promising to meet each other in the woods.

When she comes back home, Robyn prepares to tell her father her plan to get the wolves to leave without killing any of them. The preparation is entertaining, as she does a pretend back-and-forth with herself and her dad. Once he gets home, the reality is less great. When he finds out that Robyn never even went to the scullery, he doesn’t listen to her plan at all. He sends her to bed, and the plan is dead before it’s even proposed. Still, Robin promises Merlyn that they’ll find a way to help the wolves.

But that may be...harder than you’d think. As she sleeps, the golden magic comes back, and Robyn sees a wolf in her dreams. Pretty sure of where this is going. She wakes up with a start, and Bill hears this. He gets her up and takes her to the scullery, where she’s put to work.

Y’know, I’ve heard the term “scullery maid”, I’ve never once thought of what the term means. Apparently, it’s a kitchen or backroom in a house for housework, but where the hell is this? Is it, like, the town hall scullery? Not really clear, and it’s made more confusing when Robyn finds her way into a red-carpeted room with animal heads on the walls.

While there, her bite-mark glows, and a whisper of “giiiiiiiiirl” comes from a covered cage towards the front of the room. She approaches the cage, but is interrupted from checking it out by the head scullery maid. The Lord Protectorate has forbidden anyone from entering that room, and Imma call it now: that’s Mebh’s mom. I mean, yeah, no duh, but still. Calling it now.

That night, while asleep, the Wolfwalker’s magic officially takes hold, and Robyn wakes up as a wolf in her bedroom, while her human body sleeps. Her father hears the commotion in Robyn’s loft, and is about to literally kill her wolf-self, but she jumps out of a window and flees the city for the woods.

She quickly finds Mebh, who’s also panicking, as she thought she cured the bite. However, that panic subsides pretty quickly, as Mebh has never met another Wolfwalker before, and is excited to show Robyn how to be a wolf. And through Robyn’s eyes, we get a lovely view of the world through a wolf’s senses, backed by Aurora’s “Running with the Wolves”. And it’s...it’s lovely.

Its also QUITE a good half-way point, so let’s put that right here! See you in Part 2!

[alyss-not-cis]

My Oppression as a Pansexual

Hi there! My name is Alyss, I'm a bigender pansexual, and I'm a Christian.

Being a Christian, my family is extremely conservative. Like, Ben Shapiro conservative.

I was adopted when I was 10, and started homeschooling in a Christian community when I was 11 because I was being bullied in my public school. During that time, I was undergoing a lot of depression and guilt because I realized I started liking girls (this was before I identified as bigender).

In our community, homosexual acts and feelings are considered demonic, as well as mental health issues. I was struggling with both, and became overwhelmingly suicidal because of that guilt. I attempted suicide twice at the age of 11 and my parents never did anything to help me. I was terrified of coming out to them about my feelings towards other girls, so only tried to talk to them about my mental health. They believed that there was a spiritual problem with me, and instead of taking me to a therapist or looking more into the problem, they had family pray over me.

I felt like the black sheep of the family, and stayed in the closet battling my sexuality for years after. Then, when I was 14, I accepted my sexuality as bisexual. I had a few flings with both men and women in the Christian community, and tried to help as many people in the LGBTQ+ Christian community as possible because I had also endured their feelings. Then, at the age of 15, I started my sophmore year in a Christian highschool.

In this highschool, you don't celebrate Halloween, you can't show your knees or shoulders, baseball caps are a sin, etc. I had found a group of LGBTQ+ allys and members in the school and we became amazing friends until my senior year. I had switched my label to pansexual because I had a small relationship with a nonbinary on Instagram (who is still one of the nicest people I have ever met), and had a few fellow bigender partners. By this time, I was at the beginning of my senior year and a lot of people in the school knew I was pansexual.

The school had a VERY strict rule against LGBTQ+ to where you weren't even allowed to talk about it without receiving academic probation. The second quarter of that year, I had a failing grade in Chemistry, so my mother and I were called into a meeting with the school's director and my chemistry teacher. I had already been through this process before, but I had a terrible amount of disrespect for this chemistry teacher. Not only did she make the class about politics (not chemistry, which is what we were PAYING for), but she made extremely offensive comments about the LGBTQ+ community in the class (I was the only student in the class who wasn't straight, and almost everyone in that class knew except for her).

During the meeting, the director had decided to bring up a couple of complaints she had heard about me. One was the fact that I came to school in a onesie (it had footies that were against school policy), and I had worn "dark" make up. Then the last was that I was claiming I was pansexual.

I thought my heart had stopped, and my face went pale. Neither of my parents knew I was pansexual, and now I was being outed at my school in front of my mother and homophobic chemistry teacher.

The next half hour was spent listening to lectures about how I was giving a bad influence to the younger, more impressionable kids at the school and that I needed to seek help. My mom tried to defend me, saying "Well, I'm sure she didn't mean what she said. Right?" And she looked at me. I said no. I meant what I said, and you know what? I was proud of it.

I had to sign an agreement saying I was on academic probation for breaking the rules for the next coming quarter. I was crying my eyes out the whole day, sobbing my eyes out in front of anybody and everybody (making my one-on-one tutoring session VERY uncomfortable for my pre-calc teacher). My parents had now found out I was pansexual.

That night, I had sent out a text to my group of friends about what had happened, trying to seek comfort. They were incredibly supportive, yet very hostile towards the director. I had laughed it off as a joke, and sent a text saying "Put the snitch in a ditch." A very immature comment, and I do agree that I shouldn't have said that.

The next morning, my mother had received a phone call from a detective saying I was under investigation for death threats against the director. I was immediately expelled breaking the probation by saying I was pansexual. All of my friends in that group chat were also expelled and under investigation.

I'm now not allowed to speak to any of them, and was forced to tell my parents I was straight because I was about to be kicked out. I'm now paying for my own education to complete my senior year and have lost connection to almost every person I was once friends with.

My point here is; being a part of LGBTQ+ in a Christian community as a minor is terrifying. I'd heard of many coming out horror stories from people I was close to, and hated seeing them suffering like I did.

I do consider myself a Christian, but you can be a Christian and not be this hateful.

The Bible says "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others?" Matthew 5:43-48.

Even if we, as members of LGBTQ+, are enemies to these conservative extremists, this behavior is unbiblical. The comment I made in the group chat was hateful, and I repent of my actions. I never should have said that, and I have learned from my mistakes. With that being said, it doesn't excuse the efforts of this school. I still love the people there, and am willing to treat them with respect, but I am not going to ignore discrimination.

My parents have even more oppressive. Whenever I'm around, they throw slurs at homosexuals on T.V., and they make fun of me openly behind my back in front of my younger brothers. They even accidentally sent a message in a group chat that I was in, making fun of the fact that I supported trans rights. And when they found out I could see those messages, they said they were entitled to what they said because it's "unnatural" and my feelings didn't matter.

This past week has been the worst so far with their homophobic and transphobic comments, it's gotten to the point where I can't even wear a hat backwards without my mom breaking down.

With that, I wanted to make this post as a safe space for anyone in a similar place and say that you're not alone. You are valid, you are not "filled with demons", and you are beautiful. I know that pain you're feeling, and I'm offering to help comfort and support you. God LOVES you, no matter what any Church Karen says.

Even if you don't believe in God, you're valid and safe here. You don't need to harbor any guilt for who you are, and you are gonna come out of this a strong, admirable warrior. I love you all, and remember to love yourself too.

Thank you for reading this, and remember to stay safe,

-Alyss

[dailyaudiobible]

01/25/2021 DAB Transcript

Genesis 50:1-Exodus 2:10, Matthew 16:13-17:9, Psalms 21:1-13, Pr 5:1-6

Today is the 25th day of January welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is a joy and an honor to be here with you today as we move into our workweek. And there's a surprise for us today. I have a surprise for you. We’re gonna finish the first book of the Bible today. We’ll finish the book of Genesis. So, just like that we’ve move through a whole book of the Bible, a big one too. And look at all we have covered. From the origin story of creation Adam and Eve, the Tower of Babel, Noah and the flood, Abraham going into a land he didn't know following a God he had never met and entering into a covenantal relationship. And covenants and covenantal language permeates the Bible. The son of promise, Isaac and then his son Jacob, and then his son Joseph, a lot of ground has been covered and lot to plot…to apply to our lives has been placed before us and planted in our hearts. And then so today we will finish the story of Joseph by reading the 50th chapter of Genesis, and then we’ll move in Exodus and when we get there, we’ll kind of do a little flyby and get a little kind of context of where we’re going, and then we’ll read the first couple chapters of Exodus. So, we’re reading from the English Standard Version this week. Genesis chapter 50.

Introduction to the book of Exodus:

Okay. And that concludes the book of Genesis. So, well done to us all for making it through the first full book of the Bible, which brings us now to the second book of the Bible, known as Exodus. And if we remember Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, the first five books of the Bible are known as the Torah or the Pentateuch. So, we’re entering the second book of the Torah. And if we remember when we were talking about Genesis, we’re like really really trying to establish the fact that there's a family line here - Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, whose Israel, and then he has children, and they are the children of Israel. That’s important because it affects the whole Bible. It’s important to know where they came from and their origin story and how everything became what it became because their story so parallels our own life journey. So, when we left the book of Genesis just now Joseph died, had made his brothers promise to bring his bones out of Egypt when they left. Now as we turn our attention to the book of Exodus, we’re moving forward several centuries. And, so, with one turn of the page hundreds of years have gone by. And, so, with the flip of a page then everybody that we’ve been traveling with has died and their progeny has flourished. And, so, we’re hundreds of years in the future now with the future generations of promise and they are still in Egypt. And as we will see their…their prosperity, their flourishing begins to make the Egyptians uneasy because they can one day outgrow them and take over. And, so, they enslave them. And what we will learn is that this slavery goes on for 400 years. So, that's a long time to be holding onto a promise about land, right? And the oppression of the Hebrews by the Egyptians doesn't go unnoticed. And, so, we will meet another major figure in the Bible. We’ll watch him grow up. And he has a very interesting childhood. We’ll watch them flee Egypt. We’ll watch him return from Egypt to set God's people free and his name is Moses. So, basically in Exodus we’ll meet Moses's, we’ll see the plight of the Hebrew people, we’ll watch Moses become the leader of these people and we’ll watch a very drama filled confrontation between God and Egypt and in particular the king of Egypt the Pharaoh. Eventually, God's people will be freed from their slavery and sort of the center part of Exodus will deal with their trials in the desert. And then as we move into the last part of Exodus God will begin to weave His story into the fabric of this new culture. These recently freed slaves are in the desert and God is establishing a completely new culture in the desert among them and He will be weaving Himself into everything that they do. And we’ll see things like the tabernacle and the way that sacrifices are to be given to God. And, so, what we’re watching is God culture making. And we get to sit on the front row and watch it happen. And, so, let's begin. Exodus chapter 1

Commentary:

Okay. So, we've already transitioned from Genesis to Exodus and talked about that.

Let's look at one thing and Jesus says in the book of Matthew today because it's really famous. “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul or what shall a man give in return for his soul?” So, this is obviously the call to the path of a disciple of Jesus Christ. Like this is Jesus saying what it's gonna take. “If you want to come after me deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me.” Let's stop there and talk about deny yourself and take up your cross and follow Jesus. That seems to be the precursor of one of the greatest most pervasive themes of the Bible – endurance. And we don't like to hear about it and we don't like to do it that well. And, so, we don't hear about it a lot. And if we can avoid it, we do. And yet, Jesus is saying yeah, the life following me is a life where you’re denying the false identity that you are trying to craft and build. You’re denying yourself and you’re taking up your cross and following me. You’re taking on my identity. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. And that's famous. And, so, we…we think of it in terms of like being willing to die for the cause of Christ, to become a martyr. And, indeed, that has been required of many brothers and sisters over the millennia, but it's deeper than this. It's not just a willingness to humanly die, it's the act of dying to yourself, taking up your cross and following Him. In other words, dying to yourself so that you can actually live for Christ. Later in the New Testament when we get to the letters of Paul, we will hear Paul describe it as a living sacrifice. Okay. So, that's kind of the lay of the land. If you want to be a disciple of Jesus then your identity isn't a worldly crafted thing, it's the identity of the child of the most-high God, a disciple of Christ, and you will have to participate in the act of endurance often. We’re still kind of at the beginning of the year. I…mean it’s not my favorite thing to talk about, endurance. The Bible just brings it up over and over and over and over. And I have over the years, I’ve thought, “why? Like, why can’t your yoke be easy and your burden light? Like, we like those kinds of scriptures better.” But I have come to realize that endurance isn't the absence of God's blessing. Endurance is actually evidence of God's blessing. Think about it. Think about your life. What have the greatest lessons that you have ever learned come through? Challenge, endurance, something that you had to see through, something that you had to stick with. This is how we grow. And Jesus, God made flesh is telling us that this is a part of following Him. In other words, this is a part of how it's supposed to go. So, we've got a reframe some things and rewire some things because none of us likes to go through difficulty and challenge and most of the time we wallow in it, we get stuck in it, we dig a hole there, we camp out there when we’re supposed to move through it and gain strength and wisdom and keep going. But just normally, we get mad at God, and walk away and get rebellious and act like a toddler and only to find that we missed…we…like it took so much longer than it had to take. And we missed so much that we just misunderstood that “I am apparently going into a season of endurance here, of challenge and obstacle. And, yeah, I'm gonna still hate it. It's not fun.” But it is also not a waste of time. It's not without purpose. And Jesus is telling us this right out of the gate. And then He something interesting. “What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?” In other words if we could have a life of ease and get everything that we wanted but we’d lost our identity, we got sucked into creating a false identity because of all the stuff that we have achieved and all of the stuff that we have and we thought that this is who we are and we lost the plot of the story that we are a child of the most-high, then in the end, what does that profit a person? It’s a pile of stuff. It may be cool stuff, but it's a pile of stuff. Hundred years from now nobody's gonna care about any of that stuff except for maybe antique dealers. And, so, let's pour that into our coffee and stir it around today and keep it with us. Endurance is unfortunately my friends, a part of the journey. Endurance, fortunately my friends is a part of the journey. This is how we grow. Let's just bring it really close. Let's pretend we decided that today is the last day we’re going to go through the Bible in community and we step off this train, we don't go any further, we don't endure until the end, we don't maintain the rhythm until the end, we are going to lose so much that God will gift us through His word. But those of us who stick it out show up every day and continue to show up every day, week by week, month by month, we’re going to see transformation in our lives. And this is about the time where were starting to think about, maybe not doing the New Year's resolutions anymore. Like, yeah, salad’s getting’ old and all the stuff that goes with it. And then there's all the temptations all around us to just jump off the wagon of health. And, so, we do. We’re like just this once. And then it becomes the trajectory that we head in. And, so, we can get to the year…end of the year having had wonderful goals for the year that we didn't endure and so we didn't achieve. If we want to achieve being a disciple of Jesus, then we’re gonna have to deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow Him.

Prayer:

Jesus, we enter into that. We invite Your Holy Spirit into that to apply it to our lives in places that need attention in this area right now. But we also acknowledge, You're not asking for something You didn't model. Like You’re not demanding something that You didn't show how it's done and explain it. And we have all these kinds of ideas about what it is to deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow You when at the end of the day this really does boil down to what is driving us. How is it that we are trying to achieve an identity? What is making us continue forward on any given path? What we have to do is lay down anything that's not a path that pursues You. The things that distract us or the things that pull us away, what does that profit us? Help us to see that clearly Holy Spirit, we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it’s the website, it’s where you find out what’s going on around here always. It’s how to get connected. So, be familiar. Come visit. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can...you can do all this within the app as well.

Be familiar with the Community section. That’s where the Prayer Wall lives. That’s where different links to social media, different channels on social media we participate in. It’s how to get connected in that way.

The Daily Audio Bible Shop is there with things to take this journey deeper, things to take this journey wider, things to just wrap ourselves in and be involved and understand that we’re involved in a community as we make this journey through the Scriptures. So, check it out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible that can be done at dailyaudiobible.com as well or in the app as well. And I thank you. If…if the mission that we share in common here to bring the spoken word of God read fresh every day and given freely to the world to anyone who will listen to it anywhere upon this beautiful planet that God has given us to be home any time of day or night, and to build community around that rhythm so that we know we’re not alone – we’re not alone in our quest to move through the Bible and understand it, but we’re not alone, period. We’re not alone, we’re in community together as we take this journey. If that has meant something in your life, then thank you for your partnership. There’s a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app, the link, there’s a button in the upper right-hand corner or if you prefer the mail, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button up at the top or there are number of numbers that you can use. In the Americas 877-942-4253 is the number to call. If you are in the UK or Europe 44-20-3608-8078 is the number or if you are in Australia or that part of the world. 61-3-8820-5459 is the number to call.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi this is Amy calling from the center of Canada. I…I’m lying awake in bed again, another sleepless night. I suffer from insomnia and it's exasperated my…by my depression. I also have type one diabetes and have been unemployed for almost a year now. I feel like I have a lot on my plate. And the thing that I can't stop thinking about and I feel almost obsessive about at this point is finding a partner, a husband. I feel really feel really lonely and I’m…I feel angry that God has let me have this strong desire for my whole life that I have not been able to get rid of or fulfill. And I know it's not up to me but it's really hard for me to let go of trying to do all the right things and go on the dating apps and it all feels so empty.

Hello, Daily Audio Bible this is Duane from Wisconsin. All praise and glory to our wonderful Lord and savior Jesus Christ. Today is January 21st. Yes, I've been away for a bit. My wife and I took a vacation. We went out to see our youngest daughter, our 9th granddaughter was born on Christmas Day and they live out in Seattle. So, we took the train from Milwaukee out to Seattle. So, that was fun to see the beautiful country they God has created. So, everyone's doing well. And I want to thank all of you for your prayers. I am calling in for God's Smile and then there was a gentleman who called in and he said he only has apparently a few months to live. He has cancer and I apologize I can't remember your name, but you wanted us to pray for you. So, Lord we lift up God's Smile and this gentleman who was told that he doesn't have long on this earth. He's battling cancer. Be with God’s Smile Lord. We ask for Your comfort and peace. She is such a joy for us Lord and the peace she gives us, we are asking that You would give her that piece, the piece that she…that flows through her from You to us Lord, we're now asking You would allow it to flow from us to her and that she would get the rest she needs and the strength she needs to carry on and be a light for You as she is. We ask that You be with this gentleman who's battling cancer who has a wife and children Lord. We're asking that You will give him extended time on this earth to be a light for him for his wife to be there with his children and grandchildren. We want to lift this up to You are great and precious Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. And God bless.

Good morning my name is Soniato here from Ontario CA. Please key from my family in Boston they have Covid 19. Her name is Jeannie – Jeanine, Evelyn, Gobanni. Please pray for them for healing. Thank you. God bless you.

Good evening everybody this is God’s Smile here. You know, this community’s a beautiful thing and sometimes a caller just touches you very deep inside and I've just listened to a lady who's recently got out of hospital with Covid an she said that her husband had left her after 46 years. She's no help at the moment and she said that the home health hasn't kicked in. And she's alone. So, I don't know your name dear lady, but I'd like to pray for you. Father God, we as a community, we wrap our owns around this lady and we ask that You would breathe and surround her with Your love not that Your love is never there but Father would You whip it up, would You whip that love up so that it is felt and seen. May she hear You as she reads Your word. And Father when this home health kicks in, I ask dear Lord, I ask because I can come to You and ask these things that this home help would be more than just a help, she would become a friend. And could I go as far to ask dear Lord that You would give her a Christian lady? Wouldn't that be just wonderful? Father I don't know if she has a church, but I pray the church around her would support her. Time's ticking away. I send you my love and a kiss. Kiss kiss. Love you all.

Hi family this is Biola from Maryland I hope you're all doing well. Brian and Jill God bless you. God bless your ministry. We're looking forward to China's little baby. Well, I pray that God will continue to touch her and protect her. Family today is January 22nd. Today would have been my father's birthday. He went home to be with the Lord in 2016 September 20. So, I just want to ask for prayer especially for my mom who is still grieving his death that God would just uphold her and be with her Jesus’ name. A listener from Montana, oh my gosh sister. I listened to your message like two or three times. I was so intrigued and convicted by what you said. Sister, you have such a sweet spirit. I am so happy that you found Daily Audio Bible. You know it is because of new listeners like you that I am proud to give to Daily Audio Bible. It is ministry worth sewing into. Sister I pray that God will continue to let you experience His joy. I can…I can tell from your voice that joy in spite of the blindness I am thanking God for your life and for your sweet 2-year-old and for your husband and for your marriage and I pray that God will continue to just wrap His arms around you and just show you His love intangible ways in the name of Jesus. And then I'm also praying for the brother who called in and said he was blind, and he just found Daily Audio Bible app. Oh wonderful brother. I pray that as…__ word is you walk by faith not by sight that God will show you different things in your life and He will answer your prayers. Before you call He will answer in the name of Jesus. Now Sarah from London I am praying for you sister that God will touch you He will continue to wrap His arms around you He will make your heart for Him. You will have a heart that follows hard after Him in Jesus…

This is Chili from Florida and I'm calling in for an urgent prayer request. I've had some heart issues for quite a while and now I'm in the…the hospital. You know chest pains and just really scared right now. Trying to have faith and trust in the Lord that His hands of healing will heal and touch my body and get me through this. It's just…it's just a scary time, you know, 'cause I did have to also confess to my wife of a sin. I sinned against her recently. So, my hearts also broken. So, I just really need prayer with you guys 'cause I'm just scared right now. Thank you guys I love you very much and I've been with this group for years…

Hi Daily Audio Bible this is Abba’s Joy. It's been a while since I've called in but first, I just want to say I'm so excited because I read through the entire Bible with you all last year and it's been something that I've wanted to do for so long, so many years as a believer. And I finally did it and it was life changing. It was a huge blessing and to be able to do it with you guys was just amazing. But I wanted to call in because I wanted to share something. After listening to the wonderful message from yesterday I went back and read the entry in the God of Your Atory and if you don't have it I encourage you to go get it. So, one thing Brian wrote that was profound to me in my current situation. After all that Joseph had to endure which was not by choice or because of anything he did when he saw his brothers he observed. He could have easily spoken what his flesh may have been feeling or even acted on it but like Brian says in his distress he didn't even reveal himself. He goes on to say to slow down and be observant. My biggest challenge right now DAB community is navigating adolescence with my teenage son. He loves the Lord with all of his heart and has been raised in the word but there's a lot happening that overwhelms an exhaust’s my heart. And anyway, Brian helped me to see that I don't have to reveal myself in my distress I just need to just slow down and sometimes just observe the situation because I don't even know where my son's heart may be at the time. And responding in my distress will only provoke him and escalate both of our emotions. So, for those parents in the same boat as I am trying to raise godly teenagers in the midst of a…of everything that's going on with all these distractions I encourage...

[popculturebuffet]

Jingle Belle: A Very Special Jingle Belle Special or A goofy holiday comic and a long tired rant about the animation industry

Ho ho ho and merry Christmas as we reach the final stretch of Christmas reviews and it’s all Christmas all the time for the rest of the week for obvious reasons. So we’re starting off by wrapping up Jingle Belle for the season with one more comission. While it’s from my usual client, It’s via patreon as for 5 bucks a month you can get a review a month of your choice. But since that hasn’t taken hold just yet, and won’t till next month, he asked to swap it for this month and here we are.  Not much to cover though this is the very comic where Jing hopped publishers from Oni Press to Dark Horse. The whys I genuinely do not know and at the time, I just know it’s weird to talk about Dark Horse these days. Their not dead nor entirely irrelvant, Resident Alien, which I really want to check out as it has a really engaging premise, is getting a tv show that I also want to check out as while i’m not sure if it’ll be good, it’s still Alan Tudyk playing an alien who can barely pass for human and it hilariously shows. Whenever that streams i’m not missing a second of that and we all know it. And Umbrella Academy, started during bigger days for the company, is one of netflix’s hottest shows and one of many shows on my to do list I haven’t gotten to because I procastinate like no one else and as taking an entire month to get to the newest loud house shows to the point another one popped up, it bites me in the ass a lot. Point is their not GONE in relevance.. but at the same time they’ve lost the huge tide of liscences they road in on. Except for the Joss Whedon stuff, Marvel’s pretty much taken EVERYTHING from them via various deals: Star Wars, Conan and now Alien. Their still standing and makes good art books and clearly given Resident Alien good content, they’ve lasted this long their not going anywhere, it’s just really weird to think about. I will however give them huge credit for giving out tons of comics in early quarantine, and being easily the most generous company next to marvel. I.e. one of the few that actually gave out full collections. 

But yeah at the time this was probably a safe move as Dark Horse had a love of one shots and likely a larger budget. Hence why from here on out the stories are in living color, and have a slightly diffrent art style to boot. Granted the character would shift artists but now it’s got a clear more cartoony art style I like a lot better courtsey of Jose Garabaldi. So yeah with christmas on our heels, let’s ring a ding jing, it’s A Very Special Jingle Belle Special. 

We won’t be covering the backup for this one though it is quite good, it’s just not what kev asked or paid for. 

We open on a parade!

While batman foils the joker’s poisioning scheme, Santa rides on a float proudly and   Jing is hanging out on the back grumpy. It’s a great introduction for new readers showing Santa being big and jolly and what you expect while Jing grumps in the back with a “Sheesh, Daddy”. That’s how you establish a character well in only a few panels. IT’s really great is what i’m saying. Some teens pop up but don’t belivie her about being Santa’s daughter and when going to a christmas shop to try and find figures of her, the owner claims he dosen’t.. and well violence insues. You’ve met jing right?  Anyways Jing is understandably a wee bit absolutely livid the world dosen’t know about her. Her parents sure but her? Nope. And it’s easy to see why: She’s the daughter of the world’s most famous man.. but despite all the holiday lore and junk she’s just the part he likes to hide from people.. or that’s how it feels. While he ducks it, she even gives him a nice save fatty it’s clear that even if she brought it up to rile him a bit.. she does feel on some level like he likes to tuck her away and hide her because he’s ashamed and because she’s not perfect. Granted she does act out and stuff, but she’s still his kid and i’ts still gotta sting. Though she has the perfect idea to fix this: A christmas special. Santa suggests just doing good deeds but Jing is right: her idea is better. Mostly because, as cyncial as this is.. more people are going to pay attention to a good holiday special than a celebrity’s kid doing charity and for far longer. A good christmas special just sticks in the brain and sticks with you forever. It’s why Santa Claus is Coming to Town and A Charlie Brown Christmas have lasted decades or why my list of best chirstmas specials is pretty weighty. They just stick with you so while this can’t possibly end well.. her plan is actually a really good one this time. 

So Jing takes her friends off the line to help her animate it, stop motion styles and they remind her of her LAST christmas special. 

I mean I’m a sucker for any refrence to Star Wars Holiday Special. You’d think after several decades of jokes at it’s expense, with tons of youtubers, many of whom are dead to me but that’s besides the point, tackling the thing without it getting stale, that we’d eventually grow tired of mocking it but .. no. It’s a bottomless well of what they were thinking. The only question left is why isn’t it on Disney Plus.. I mean.. you made a second one as an affectionate parody and in lego. Kids are going to know about this now. Just put the thing up. Even edited down or just some clips. You put Rise of Skywalker up there, you’ve proven your threshold for shame when it comes to this franchise is vast. Just person up and do it.  But Jing’s learned her lesson.. stop motion only and to follow the bouncing formula to sucess. So in the special which sadly isn’t all stop motion and is just drawn to resemble the specials, probably for the best but still, Jing and her animal pals are sneaking into a town where christmas was banned! Meeting the chirstmas legion of doom.. well okay that’s what i’m calling them. Burgermeister Budweiser! Bungle the Abominable Snow Monster! Frost Master and Heat BLister! The Frost Fakir.. wait the what?

........

I mean where do I even begin? I know this was during the war on terror, I know that.. but still I expect better from Paul Dini for a crosses the line twice joke than “hey let’s just make bin laden into an ice wizard!”. I mean South Park made fun of him too, but they went all out with a looney tunes homage. Put effort in. And even years after he died the lonely island did this beautiful thing in the film pop star: never stop stoppin, which you should watch seriously watch it it’s underated. 

Point is you can do better and if you don’t have room to do better then just.. don’t. You could’ve put in a t-rex in a top hat and monocle.  That would’ve genuinely been better... because it’s better than everything ever btu that’s besides the point. There’s also one last addition to the rogue’s gallery thank god. 

He hates her too. Now that gag is actually reallyf ucking funny. What’s also funny is how she solves things. By singing a nice and frinedly song about friendship to reform the villians.. or rather lure them over a bridge to get eaten by her orca friend. 

So Jing after showing it to her dad heads to market it with him trying to warn her netoworks haven’t aired this kind of thing in years. But she faces the greatest threat to all of television: network executives, who keep offering advices and basically change the thing all together for stupid reasons and think cartoons should only be for kids despite it wokring in the past. Aka the hells animators STILL go through. I think Paul was projecting just a wee bit with this one. Given again IT HASN’T CHANGED since then, I can’t blame him. Seriously Harvey Beaks was canceled, among MANY ohter nick shows including rise of the tmnt just because it wasn’t an instant hit, Cartoon Network and warner keep trying to make dumbed down remakes of great shows, and Disney, among other networks, is fairly homophobic and while finally allowing some gay on the network this year had to be fought and outright refused it on ducktales for no adquate reason, caring more about monney and the bible belt than doing the right thing. So yeah as you can tell this bit got to me a bit and was hard to read because it. hasn’t. changed. 16 years and not a lot has changed other than more women are getting a chance. And granted the “kids are our only audiencce argument” isn’t as strong and several shows are powered by other demographics it’s still an issue and still the reason several good shows have gotten the boot and why the jeph loeb era of marvel animation was terrible. Because guys like him thought it should JUST be for kids and the lowest common demoninator of htem. You can be clever and be for kids dammit. 

I apologize slightly for that it’s just something that’s been on my mind as shows dwindle and with ducktales gone the standard forbearaers for children’s animation are all pretty fresh faced. It’s just a lot to take in and i’ts been on my mind a lot. 

Back to the actual story the result is a pretty purtrid cutesy special.. Jing reacts how you’d expect, destroying the tapes covertly with a herd of musk ox and destroying the tape. But they find the 70′s special and we end on that which is pretty funny. The only thing I really don’t like here is the ending. The rest of this special is really good: it’s clever , has some good satire and some really funny jokes especially that hook one. The ending just feels a bit weak.. like yes Jing wanted to be noticed but it’s not really an unsympathetic motive and while she does some shady stuff the villians still basically win by airing her terrible holiday special all over again. It’s just not satisfying.  But yeah overall another pretty decent holiday comic with some good jokes. I”ll probably see Jing again next year, and it was fun getting to dip into these comics. THeir not my faviorites, but their still pretty decent and if the complete collection ends up on sale on comixology or you see it in a bookstore and you think it’d be up your ally i’d buy it. Again not my faviorite thing ever, but still enjoyable enough. Coming up this week of holiday cheer: ducks, more ducks, superheroes, and a best of list. 

Until next time: Courage. 

[cxlvins]

...000. INTRODUCTION.

helloooo lovelies ! my name is evan (he/him), i’m twenty-two and from the gmt timezone ! i’m super excited for this to open because i’ve got so much muse right now. i’m down for any and all plots, seriously, i love plotting ! this is calvin, he’s an angry mess of a character, but he’s fun to play, so ! if you just wanna get to know the character, you can skip past the other sections and just focus on personality, i’ve also put some wanted connections in there too ! if you would like to plot, then either shoot me a message here or on discord (heterosexual? how vintage!#8600) or alternatively, like this post and i will message you !

caution: alcohol, drugs, mental health, death.

›› ✱ xavier serrano, cismale, he/him. you’ve met calvin marx, right? they’re around twenty-three and a twitch streamer. they’re all about thrift store clothing and the faint smell of cologne and cigarettes, hence why they’re known as the spitfire around town. everyone knows them to be pretty gregarious but i’ve heard they’re actually sort of volatile, too… don’t tell them i said that, okay?

...001. BRIEF HISTORY.

calvin grew up very underprivileged for the first 11 years of his life in brooklyn, ny.

his father died when he was 5 years old to a drug overdose, leading his mother became a single mother to him and his younger sister, essentially meaning that calvin had to grow up and be the ‘man of the house’ without having a choice.

because of her new single-mother status, calvins mother had to work 3 different jobs in order for the family to pay rent (a cleaner in mornings, a store assistant in the day and a bartender in the evenings), which meant she was rarely home and left calvin to raise both himself and younger sister.

from a very early age, it was apparent that calvin suffered from anger issues, dyslexia and adhd, constantly getting into fights at every opportunity, his complete inability to focus and never managing to make it through a week at school without a phone call home.

these issues remained untreated, due to his mother putting it down to the ‘boys will be boys’ ideology, and concluding that calvin was just an energetic one at that.

because of this, calvin fell into the wrong crowd pretty quickly and settled into his mindset that he was never going to achieve all that much anyway, because no matter how hard he tried, he could never score well on any test at school.

at the age of 9, calvins mother met, fell in love with and soon married a former client for whom she cleaned for.  calvins new step father was incredibly wealthy, due to being a successful franchisee and also being very largely into stock trading.

calvin, his sister and mother were all moved to his home in cherrybrooks, which calvin struggled to adjust to, as he missed his friends back north.

now having access to as much money as he want led him down an early path into experimenting with drugs and alcohol, which soon became a bad habit.

although he wanted to drop out of school, his new step-father would not allow it, which became a large source of conflict for the family over the course of the next few years.

failing to graduate high school at age eighteen, calvin couldn’t deal with living with his family any more and left the house to move into a small apartment, 30 minutes away, with a roommate (possibly a member of the clique).

calvins only real passions were for gaming and sport, and as he smoked and did way too many drugs to make it in any sporting profession, he turned his attention to twitch streaming. he began this pretty soon and built up a solid fanbase (which he wanted to call the marxists, but in calvins words, apparently some dead man already claimed that title).

...002. PERSONALITY.

calvin is a naturally angry person who can lose his cool and go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds, he rarely gives off signs that he is getting angry until he boils over, so people tend to watch what they say around him.

calvin is self-serving, his feelings will always come before those around him. although he is getting better at managing this, if something will result in calvin gaining something at the expense of somebody else, he will most likely go ahead with it.

calvin is not well educated, so he doesn’t tend to enjoy arguing with words, as he can never seem to find the ones to correctly express how he feels. instead, calvin is much more likely to act physically when something has irritated him (whether this be on a person or inanimate object).

calvin is an awful liar, he cannot lie to save his life as his face always tends to show when he doesn’t agree with an idea/opion/thought that somebody says. because of this, he is very outspoken, and will just say what he’s thinking regardless of if it’s going to hurt somebodies feelings. he’d rather upset them with the truth, than get caught out for lying.

calvin is an extrovert and gains energy from being around people - the more people the better, because of this, he has become a major party animal and loves attending any and all parties that is going on, despite if he’s fond of the hosts or not.

calvin is a heavy user of drugs, alcohol & cigarettes. this is primarily down to his naturally addictive personality and constant need to feel like he’s happy, so that he doesn’t get sad again. there will rarely be a day where he will not  be intoxicated in some way and he will have a cigarette at least once an hour – and that’s on a good day.

calvin is very much into sports. although not a natural athlete, nor somebody interested in playing sports competitively, calvin loves watching any and all sports, and he likes to play them when he can. due to his smoking habit, he can’t play sports for too long, but will always give it a good go.

similarly to this, calvin is very much into gaming. calvin loves fast-paced games, because they manage to keep his attention despite him not having a very long attention span. most games that he plays are first person shooters, and he’s usually the guy on the mic screaming when a teammate fucks up during online play. a big appeal to him was that games were the only thing he could focus his mind on as a child.

calvin is very much a boys boy, he genuinely abides by the bible of ‘ bros before hoes ‘ because he’s stupid.

calvin hates movies but loves tv, he finds that watching moves involves sitting still for too long, but tv allows him to take more breaks and keeps his interest for longer. although. he’d probably trade both of them for a chance to leave the house.

...003. TRAITS.

[ G R E G A R I O U S ] (+) — a person fond of company; sociable.

[ I N T U I T I V E ] (+) — using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning; instinctive.

[ F O R T H R I G H T ] (+) — direct and outspoken.

[ V O L A T I L E ] (-) — liable to change rapidly and unpredictably, especially for the worse.

[ V E N G E F U L ] (-) — not willing to forgive or excuse people’s faults or wrongdoings.

[ H E D O N I S T I C ] (-) — engaged in the pursuit of pleasure; sensually self-indulgent.

...004. WANTED CONNECTIONS.

CURRENT BEST FRIENDS — Possibly a boy squad? I live for a good boy squad. This person will have similar interests to Calvin, or be able to tolerate his volatile mood.

CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS — Someone with a similar upbringing from Brooklyn, most likely they grew apart when Calvin moved to Wilmington.

RIDE OR DIES — Although he primarily looks out for himself, I’m down to have Calvin have one person who he’s loyal to and will refuse to betray, we can come up with a fun reason for why he cares so much if you’re interested in this one.

HIS ROOMMATE — Somebody that moved with Calvin into his current apartment when he moved out at 18.

A GOOD INFLUENCE ON CALVIN — One of my favorite connections for Calvin to have is somebody who knows all of his flaws and attempts to help fix them. They’ll have to be patient, though, as Calvin doesn’t see himself for having any issues.

SOMEBODY HE IS A BAD INFLUENCE OF — On the opposite, I love when Calvin has somebody that he can introduce to bad things, corrupt easily and get a kick out of watching the commotion.

EXES ON BAD TERMS — Cheating on each other is usually an easy one to go with, but if you want, we can think of something more unique as to how it all fucked up and why they now hate each other.

EXES ON GOOD TERMS — Maybe they still occasionally fuck? There could still be an attraction there, but just no romantic chemistry. Alternatively, they tried it and both just couldn’t see it going anywhere.

EXES WITH LINGERING FEELINGS — There’s a ton of different reasons for why there’s still lingering feelings. The feelings could be one-sided or both ways.

EX FLINGS — Started as friends with benefits, one of them wanted more, the other didn’t, they decided to stop before someone got hurt.

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS — No romantic intention, just a good way to kill time at 2 AM, or maybe it’s easy to know you have someone to go home to if you don’t find someone at a party.

FRIENDS FOR NECESSITY — This friend may not have that much in common with Calvin, they may not really get on in day to day life, but they are always there to get high, attend a party or do something dumb. an easy person to talk to when they’re both bored and wanna get out.

HIS YOUNGER SISTER — If anybody fancies a second character, I’m always down to have Calvins sister in the roleplay. They can either get along or not, we’ll just figure out the details.

EX FRIENDS — Used to be close but now aren’t, plenty of reasons as to why.

ENEMIES — Despise each other, seeing this person literally makes Calvins blood boil. Possibly sexual tension too if that would work, if not, they can just fight a lot.

WILL THEY / WON’T THEY — Lots of leading on and teasing each other, maybe they both think they’re stringing the other along but it turns out neither of them are interested? Maybe they start out not interested and it backfires later, by that time the other could’ve lost interest.

ANY OTHER IDEAS YOU THINK WILL WORK !

...005. ADDITIONAL INFORMATION.

Calvin is bisexual but heteroromantic, so any sexual-based connections can be taken by any gender.

Calvins Pinterest can be located here. Please note that it contains triggers for alcohol, drugs, blood & violence.

[ronninoir]

Can I Steal You for a Second? CH4

Summary: Adrien is forced to participate in a new dating show, but becomes more excited when Ladybug says she’ll participate as her civilian self. 

AKA: AU where Adrien doesn’t know Marinette, the superheroes are 22 and Gabriel is mean and ruthless but not Hawkmoth.

Read on AO3

Chapter 4

Adrien was in bed, nervously staring at his ceiling. Today was the day that 30 women would show up to the mansion. They would meet each other and be put in their Gabriel-brand dresses and then given time to do hair and make-up while at a warehouse downtown. Then, they would be moved and sent to meet him one by one in a limo and would participate in a cocktail party. Finally, he would have to cut the pool of girls down from 30 to 22. No matter which way Adrien looked at it, it was going to be a long day. 

But Ladybug will be there. That was the only thought that got him out of bed when the producer assigned to moving Adrien from place to place as the show went along (He considered her to be the TV version of Natalie, but he still hadn’t caught her name, so in his head he called her the Mini-Natalie) had begun calling at his door for him to get up. Today consisted of trying to memorize the names and pictures of the girls, hair and make-up, doing interviews about how he feels pre-meetings, and more hair and make-up before the girls began showing up at exactly nightfall. But, there was a ray of sunshine at the end of this tunnel, and it was covered in polka dots.

Adrien put on some acceptable clothes, brushed his teeth and his hair, and just barely remembered to grab Plagg from his pillow before he was rushed to a studio with a bagel in his mouth. They planned on taking videos of him doing natural things in his life, but they had set it all up in a studio so it would be just right. He felt anything but natural posing and walking around the fake sidewalk and scenery.

After he had finished with those, they moved him to a grey screen-covered area where Adrien was to do various poses with a long-stemmed rose. He felt even more awkward doing these shots than he had doing the “natural posing” earlier. They made him smile really bright and act like he was “in love.” Thankfully, all he had to do was think of Ladybug and finding out her identity and he then had the perfect look for these shots down.

They also made him work out with weights for about an hour while filming the whole thing. This wasn’t too terrible as his Father made him do similar things now that he was out of high school in order for him to keep his body shape. (If only he knew about his runs as Chat Noir, the gym workouts would be unnecessary) Though normally he did all of his workouts with a shirt on. Either that or a skin-tight leather suit. Then, and honestly the most embarrassing of all, they took a large number of shots of Adrien showering. Why, the world needed to see Adrien shirtless with water running through his hair and down his chest he literally had no idea. Thankfully he was allowed to wear swim trunks, so as to not be too exposed. But, his many years of modeling had taught Adrien never to argue with the director and he figured that applied in this situation as well.

Once the B-roll shots were taken, Adrien was whisked away for hair and make-up and another, more formal outfit for the interviews. They asked him too many questions and he just had to keep acting excited about everything that was going on. Some of the questions were just too personal or sounded funny, but Plagg was having a blast silently laughing at what Adrien was saying. Occasionally, Adrien would “stretch” and slap his pocket where Plagg was hiding. He was rewarded with a squeal and some silence for about 5 minutes before Plagg would start up again.

He was coached to be honest about some things, so when they asked about the first Rose Ceremony tonight and if he was nervous, he had no shame in saying absolutely. He cited possibly not being able to get a feel for every girl tonight as well as having to remember their names as the reason for his nervousness. Although those were true, he was mostly worried that his Lady would slip past his notice and be cut before he could figure out it was her. His only saving grace was that tomorrow was Sunday, so it wouldn’t take long for him to discover his mistake.

The questions never seemed to end, and when he asked why there were so many, the director explained that since they had to make a ton of promotional videos to get the word about the show out, as well as fill in stuff for the first episode, they had to have an abundance of material. That, at least, made sense to Adrien. He tried to play up to the camera as much as he could, but by the end he was over it.

It was almost time for dinner and then the start of the show when the director reached the final question, “In your honest opinion, Adrien, do you think this could work? Do you think you’ll be able to find love?”

Without any hesitation, Adrien’s smiled softened as he began to think about Ladybug. His response of, “I truly believe that I will meet my soulmate tonight,” earned him a handful of “awes” and sighs from the production staff. With the knowledge that he had at least given one camera-worthy response, he allowed himself to be dragged away from the set and into, yet another, stylist chair.

 ---------------------------------------------------- 

Marinette was feeling just as stressed as Adrien, but for a whole different reason. As soon as she arrived, she had an uneasy feeling. The limo driver had dropped her off at a warehouse building on the outskirts of town. It wasn’t a place she visited often as Ladybug, and so she was very unfamiliar with the area. Once inside, she was immediately ushered to a conference room where the girls were going to meet the people in charge of them and receive the concrete schedule for that day. When she asked about her luggage, a lady told her that it was going to be held by the workers in case she got cut tonight and needed to head straight home.

 “But don’t worry sweetheart, nothing’s going to happen to your things, but if you make it through tonight, you’ll be moved into the mansion quickly.” The lady gave Marinette a once over and then said, “And when you get sent home, we’ll take care of everything for you.” For some reason, Marinette wasn’t put at ease.

The conference room felt crowded with all thirty of the girls as well as a handful of producers. Marinette sat, looked around the room, and was whispering to Tikki underneath her breath. “I hope some of the girls who I met while we were getting interviewed and photographed made it. It’d be nice to see a familiar face. Or I should say, a familiar friendly face.” The annoying girl who made all of the other girls flock to her from the interview weekend, Lila, had been cast and Marinette was less than thrilled.

“I could scope out the room for you, Marinette!”

“No, I don’t want you to get lost in all of the chaos. I may let you do some exploring later. Thank you for offering, though.” Marinette gave Tikki a smile and reached her hand in to brush her finger against Tikki’s cheek. Tikki hugged her back and settled down in the purse. It took Tikki a couple of weeks, but eventually, she came around to the idea of Marinette participating. She even helped her stay calm when she was freaking out about packing and Alya hadn’t been called yet. Marinette was very grateful that she had Tikki throughout this process. She couldn’t imagine only having the other contestants to talk to all of the time and occasionally Adrien. Tikki’s going to help keep her sane.

An older man walked up to the front of the room and a hush quickly fell over the girls. There were a couple of other people around him, but he clearly was the one in charge, since everyone was looking at him, waiting for him to speak.

“Hello ladies. My name is Mike Fleiss, and I am the producer for the American version of The Bachelor. I’ve been asked to oversee this season to help push the show to be as successful as its counterpart over the seas.” He spoke French pretty well for an American, even if he did have an accent of sorts.

“I’m excited to see what this amazing and beautiful group of girls brings and I know that you all will jump start the Bachelor franchise very well. With that being said, we do have some “house rules” as you would call it, so let’s begin by going over those. Please pay attention, as you will be signing a piece of paper stating that you have gone over these rules with me.

The most important rule for you to remember is that you are not allowed to leave the mansion no matter what, unless you are on a date and are accompanied by Adrien or a producer. As long as you are in the show, you are our responsibility and we will not allow you to put yourself in harms way.”

One rule in and Marinette already knew she had to break it. She couldn’t not leave if an akuma attacked. And she had had promised Adrien that she would meet up with him every Sunday as Ladybug, and there was no way she was backing out of that. Thankfully, she could be sneaky and work around that one rule.

“There is also no use of phones or any other sort of technology that connects you to the outside world. There is no internet at this mansion and you are not allowed to have books of any kind except for the Bible unless preapproved by us.” Her sketch book was preapproved so she was good on that. “Please also note that music players are allowed but music can only be heard through earbuds for copyright reasons.

“Once inside the mansion, you are expected to do your own cooking, cleaning, and laundry. The mansion is already stocked with certain necessities, but if you ever need anything to cook with or you run out of something, let a producer know and we can make a trip to the store for you.” Considering Marinette did most of that for herself already, she wasn’t too worried. And maybe she could make friends by cooking some stuff for others too, so that could be fun.

 “Also, today and the day we shoot the last episode are the only days that the studio will do your hair and make-up. Every other day, you will be required to do it. Also, if you remember, when you were interviewed you were also measured and sized. That is because every outfit that you wear during the filming of this show is going to be a Gabriel piece. Gabriel Agreste has been very kind in allowing the show to do that and his people have picked out various outfits for you to choose from for tonight. Please note that if an outfit of yours goes missing when you are cut from the show, you will be fined and a police report will be filed.”

There were murmurs at that comment. The girl sitting closest to Marinette leaned over and whispered, “Wow that’s a lot for a missing dress,” Although Marinette understood why Gabriel was doing this, it still didn’t make it fun. What designer can make money if they give their clothes away, even if his outfits are ridiculously expensive.

“Now,” Mr. Fleiss’ voice brought all of the girls to silence again and he continued once he had all of their attention. “as you probably guessed, there are going to be cameras everywhere. If someone asks you for an interview, you do not decline. Everywhere you go, a camera goes. The only place they will not follow you into is the bathroom, but they will stand outside of the door and record sounds so be aware of that.” Mr. Fleiss paused as he seemed to make sure that everything had been covered.

 “That should be everything. If you have any questions, whether about the rules or the journey, please feel free to ask.” That moment was the first time that Marinette had seen him smile and with that smile, he gestured to the people stationed to the side of the rows of girls. “We have reached the fun part. If you would do the honors gentlemen,” the men started passing out bags to the girls closest to them and working their way around the room. “All of you are receiving a gift bag provided by our generous sponsors. Inside, you will find various hair products, different types of make-up, as well as some sunscreen and a lovely padded bikini gifted by Gabriel for you to use during the filming. And yes, before you ask, you can take the bikinis home with you.”

Excited chatter broke across the room as the girls got their bags and began pulling stuff out and looking through it. Marinette looked in hers and noticed a tube of waterproof mascara, a container of highlighter, a bottle of hair shining spray, a self-tanning lotion, the tube of sunscreen and her bikini, which was a bright red color. Red was a good color for her, for obvious reasons, and the padded bra part was nice as Marinette’s chest could use a little bit of help in that area.

 “That’s really nice of them!” Tikki whispered from Marinette’s purse.

 “I’m surprised they found so many sponsors for the show since it is so new here. This is some good, quality stuff here too. And now I can say I own a Gabriel original!” Marinette let out a tiny squeal.

 “I wouldn’t be too excited about that,” Tikki said with a laugh. “There’s not that much material here to make it too much of an original!”

 “Oh hush!” Marinette scolded, though her giggles made it seem less threatening than it was intended to be.

 Mr. Fleiss clapped and called the girls to attention. “Yes, yes, very exciting, but we have one more thing to discuss. The schedule for today. In about 20 minutes, you will be dismissed in groups of 5 to go and be worked on by our stylists. Once your hair and make-up is completed, you will be guided to your assigned dressing area, where your pre-picked dresses are waiting for you to choose from. A word of advice from someone who has worked on many seasons of this show: pick this dress wisely. If it’s too gaudy, Adrien won’t be interested. If it’s too plain, he won’t remember you.

 “And speaking of remembering, tonight you will have a chance to make a first impression. When you first get out of the limo, your look is what matters. When you walk up to Adrien though, you will be expected to have a minute conversation with him. Do something or say something to make him remember you. All of these need to be approved by Victoria,” He pointed to a lady with a clipboard who was standing by the door in the back. All of the girls were so still and quiet, you could have heard a pen drop.

 “He is not going to remember your name and want to keep you around if you don’t do something to catch his attention. You will have another chance to catch his attention during the cocktail party, so you can plan something a little more elaborate for then. During the cocktail party, however, it is your responsibility to find time with Adrien. Please keep everything you do appropriate and if you need anything not available in this building, let one of us know and we’ll make it happen for tonight.”

“The first group will be called in 15 minutes,” Victoria called out before walking out the door.  

 It took about a minute before the girls began chatting with everyone around them. They were all brainstorming on different ways they could make a good first impression. A girl a couple rows in front of her was explaining that she thought she could do a couple of backflips once out of the limo, she would just need to practice doing them in heels. Marinette thought that was a super cool idea and moved onto the next conversation. Everyone seemed to have an idea, no matter how out there it seemed.

 “Tikki, what do you think—”

 Before she could finish her sentence, the girl sitting directly next to Marinette, who was taller than Marinette by about 5 inches, had long blonde hair and a sweet smile, turned to her and caught her arm, preventing Marinette from conversing with Tikki.

 “Hi! It’s so nice to meet you! My name is Hanna and I’m from Camembert, France, you know like the cheese? My family are farmers and I am so excited to be here in the city. What’s your name? Where are you from? What do you think you’re going to do once you’re out of the limo?” She seemed to speak without taking a breath and Marinette mentally thanked Alya for her ability to understand what she had said.  

 “Umm, hi! My name is Marinette, I’m from Paris and I don’t know just yet.” She tried not to sound too distraught about not knowing what to do, but her nervous jitters were getting the best of her.

 Hanna began to ramble about all of the amazing things she’s seen of Paris and how excited she was to meet Adrien and nervous of making a good impression, and on and on. Marinette smiled at her speaking with such excitement about being able to drive past a real shopping mall. 

This girl, Hanna, seemed so innocent and cheerful and friendly and Marinette wondered how in the world she was going to fair in the competition. Especially with girls like Lila to manipulate her. In that moment, Marinette decided to befriend her and hopefully keep her out of harm’s way. Marinette stole a glance at Tikki, who gave her an approving nod and a smile.

 Hanna was currently stressing about what she was going to do tonight when Marinette interrupted her. “Hey, I’m sure everything is going to be okay! Let’s brainstorm ideas together. What do you enjoy doing? Anything we can use to make you pop?”

 Hanna talked for about 5 more minutes about all of the different things she could do, each idea worse than the last. Eventually, Marinette picked out that Hanna enjoyed singing karaoke with her family after dinner. When Marinette gently suggested that she bring a karaoke machine and sing a little to Adrien right out of the limo, Hanna jumped on the idea. She gathered Marinette in a bone-crushing hug and thanked her profusely. After letting go, she brought the idea up to Victoria, and was quickly scanning through a provided list of songs and deciding how romantic the song she sang needed to be when the first group was called.

 “Attention ladies. I need Alice, Celeste, Jeanne, Juliette, and Hanna for hair and make-up.”

 Hanna squealed and dropped her list on the ground out of excitement. Marinette quickly picked it up and passed it to her, accepting another hug from Hanna and promising to find her later today before the filming started.

 After she was off and Marinette was alone, she began brainstorming for herself. She had plenty of ideas of what she could do, each more insane than the last. At first, she thought of doing yo-yo tricks, or showing up in a red and black dress, or starting with some insane Ladybug-style tricks, but Tikki decided it was too obvious and that it wouldn’t be fair for the other girls if Adrien found out tonight, right off the bat. Thankfully Tikki had vetoed the idea, because she heard of another contestant who was doing that same thing. Apparently, it had gotten out that Adrien was a fan of Ladybug, so everyone from France (there were a couple of Swedish girls, one from Belgium, and of course, the Italian model, Lila) jumped at the opportunity to impress him using the super-heroine as a starting point.

 Soon, she was out of ideas and Marinette needed an idea that would make her stand out. She was trying not to be bitter about coming up with no ideas. She had an advantage over the others, and yet she couldn’t think of anything that would be good enough for her to do. What did she know that her Kitty loved that could blow him out of the water without fully giving away her identity?

 She was feeling helpless and stupid and annoyed when she overheard a conversation from some other contestants, one of whom was also having trouble coming up with something creative.

 “Just use your personality! If everyone else is doing something crazy as soon as they see him, be the one normal girl he talks to.”

 Marinette jerked her head up. Personality. She knew all about Adrien’s personality, or really, the personality he displayed as Chat. He claimed that Chat was his true personality, not the stuffy one his father made him have in his presence. Suddenly, she was so overcome with an idea, she was surprised it took her so long to think of it. It was brilliant and memorable and exactly something that her Kitty would love to hear tonight. A deep smile spread across her face as she ran to line up in front of Victoria, who was getting ready to call the next group. She wasn’t exactly going to be her normal, Ladybug self, but she was going to knock Adrien off of his feet.

 ----------------------------------------------------

Forty-five minutes later and Marinette’s group, the last one, was being called. She was rushed to a stylist chair where people began to swarm around her, grabbing her hair or moving her face in different directions. By the time they stepped away, Marinette almost didn’t recognize herself in the mirror. Her hair was loose and styled with soft curls with an intricate braid that hid her bangs. Her make-up was well-done and highlighted all of the important features.

She was then moved to a changing room that she shared with the other girls in her style group. Once she found the dress rack with her name on it, she began flipping through, looking for the perfect color and style dress. She finally found one that wouldn’t bring attention to her small chest but would make her curves stand out. And it was the exact color of her eyes, which would make them pop.

 Soon she was sitting at a table with all of the other girls, who looked just as beautiful as she did, and chattering with Hanna about tonight. Once all of Marinette’s group sat down, they were called to attention and given the piece of paper for them to sign stating that they had heard and agree to follow the rules of the House. They also had to put when they were expecting their next period, which startled Marinette. Thankfully, she wasn’t the only one, but she did as she was asked.

They were then given the opportunity to eat and after about 30 minutes, Victoria was calling the girls and putting them in the order that they would appear before Adrien. They would ride to the mansion in groups, then wait their turns as the limo brought each girl individually to see Adrien. The girls who had non-limo entrances (one girl was riding in on a horse) would be instructed when it would be their turn to walk (or ride) in. Otherwise, the limo drivers were in charge of the timing.

Marinette, who was stationed towards the middle, right behind Hanna and in front of a girl named Lucie, was excited and yet nervous. Tikki had to hide in her bra since no bags were allowed in the mansion the first day. Although it was kind of awkward for both of them, Marinette was happy to have Tikki so close, as it would be easier to talk to her as the night went along. And she had a feeling they would have lots to talk about.

 Soon the first set of girls were being put in their limo and driven to the mansion. In about an hour, Marinette would be face-to-face with the man of her dreams.

 ----------------------------------------------------

Adrien suddenly couldn’t breath and his hands were all sweaty as his limo was driven to the mansion where the girls he was going to date would be living. Mini-Natalie was in the car with him and was instructing him what would happen as they drove up.

“You will get out of the car and will be recorded. So please be aware of what you say and how you react. Chris will meet you and will chat with you about tonight, and then the first girl will appear. Chris will tell you when. Follow his lead, he knows what he is doing.”

Chris Harrison was the host for the American version and Adrien had met him a couple of times. He seemed like a nice guy, but it was weird that all this man did for a living was watch people date each other and make occasional comments. They had Alec, the normal reality show host for most of Paris’s entertainment, shadowing him, but they wanted the first season to have an experienced host so it was more of a smooth time filming. Adrien was just grateful to have someone who understood the show well enough to help guide him through this rollercoaster.

The limo pulled to a stop and Mini-Natalie, shooed him out. He stepped out and was greeted by really bright lights in front of this gorgeous mansion. It had to be at least 3 floors and had a jaw-dropping look to it. No wonder they picked this to be the location for the show.

 “Evening Adrien,” Chris greeted him at the place where the concrete turned from driveway to sidewalk. Adrien could see a camera filming him as he walked to shake Chris’ hand. “How are you feeling?”

 “I’m a little excited and nervous,” Adrien responded.

“That’s completely normal. Tonight’s going to be a lot. You’re going to meet a lot of girls. Do you believe you’ll be able to find the one through this journey?”

 “Honestly Chris I do. I’m excited to see what tonight brings and hopefully I can make a good first impression.”

 Chris laughed at that, “I believe that’s what the girls will be hoping too.” He stuck his hand out for another handshake and Adrien took it as Chris said, “Good luck tonight, the first limo is coming around the corner.”

“Thank you.” Adrien looked toward the end of the driveway and did indeed see a limo poking out.

The cameras were switched off and Mini-Natalie, who had exited the limo after the cameras had followed Adrien, began positioning him on the sidewalk. Once he was set and Mini-Natalie walked away to make sure he looked good in the cameras, Adrien took a moment to be excited. He was going to meet his lady tonight, even if he didn’t know which one she was going to be.

Once it had been decided that Adrien looked good, they motioned the first limo to approach the house. Plagg, who had been asleep in Adrien’s pocket, woke up from his nap, claiming that he didn’t want to miss anything that the girls did or said tonight. Adrien rolled his eyes at that.

“Well if you’re going to be awake then know, no comments, no matter what the girls say or do, you don’t get to say a word. We’ll have time for your commentary later,” At that, Plagg opened his mouth to protest, but was cut-off when the first limo came to a stop in front of the house and the door clicked open.

~~~

This chapter is soooo long, so sorry for the wait I was dealing with personal stuff do to the virus 

Let me know if you wanna be added to the tag list 

@momor3202 

@legendaryneckjudgestudent 

@discoveringmiraculouswriters

@adrianarfox

@veroocasanova 

[hotforharrison]

Unholy Divinity ch 2

Chapter 1 <-- Series Masterlist --> Chapter 3

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield/Reader/Tom Holland

Summary: Choosing to spend your eternity in heaven or hell should be easy, right? Yeah, not so much.

Word Count: 1,941

Warnings: Language & Smut

A/N: I should have been following the RNG, but instead I’m writing more of this because I can’t stay away from it. Please send help.

Harrison eventually left when he had business to attend to in heaven, and you found yourself alone in the silence of purgatory for the second time.

You took the opportunity to explore extensively. The room that resembled a waiting area was the largest, and it had a locked door on either end of it.

There was nothing of note within it, other than everything being bolted down, which consisted of some furniture and assorted pieces of decor. It was probably a practical thing. You couldn’t imagine most people being pleased by the prospect of eternal torment. Only idiots like you who were heavily attracted to a certain king of hell.

The long hallway connected to the waiting area room had 5 identical bedrooms to the one you woke up in, each containing a bed and empty nightstand. You’d hoped to find at least a bible in one of the drawers to read. Not your usual choice of literature, but beggars can’t be choosers. It would have at least made sense, considering where you were. You came up empty handed, though.

One end of the long hallway led to the waiting area room, and the other end was also locked.

Purgatory had absolutely nothing to do in it, probably because visits were meant to be short. Go to the waiting area, have Tom or Harrison or whoever else collect you, go on your merry way to your eternity. Most people didn’t get or want to have two options.

Honestly, you should have chosen the obvious option and already be in heaven, but you couldn’t get Tom out of your head.

You returned to what you considered “your” bedroom, the one where you woke up, and kicked off your shoes before lying on the bed, arms folded underneath your head.

Nothing you’d ever do when you were bored was an option -- no phone, no books, no TV, no music, absolutely nothing, just the overwhelming silence. Your brain corrected itself quickly. You could always touch yourself, and that sounded tempting after spending time and sharing kisses with both Tom and Harrison.

It also might make you drowsy and let you pass time asleep, until Tom or Harrison visited again, if you could even sleep in purgatory. You hadn’t been hungry or had to go to the bathroom since you found yourself there. Maybe sleep was the same way.

You cast aside your other thoughts when you shucked your pants and panties, pushing them to the foot of the bed, and got under the duvet so you didn’t feel completely exposed.

You closed your eyes and tried to pick which boy to fantasize about. Your indecision stretched on for long minutes until you realized you didn’t have to choose. Maybe you’d just think about them both. It wasn’t something you’d really considered in the past, but it was much easier than making a decision when each of them appealed to you in very different ways.

Your hand moved between your legs, and you spread some of your ample wetness over your clit, rubbing small circles around the sensitive nub. You were relieved that still felt amazing, even in purgatory.

You imagined both of them kissing your body, Harrison focusing on your sensitive neck and chest, whispering sweet things in your ear occasionally, while Tom trailed down your stomach until he ended up with his head buried between your thighs, eating you out expertly.

“Oh god,” you moaned, chanting Tom’s and Harrison’s names as you neared your high.

When you toppled over the edge into your climax, you dug the fingers of your free hand into the sheets, writhing involuntarily, eyes shut tight.

Once you’d come down, you sighed contentedly and opened your eyes to see Tom leaning against the doorframe.

“Fantasizing about a little ménage à trois, darling? I’d be down for that, but Harrison is probably still too much of a goody to ever consider it,” Tom commented.

You felt your face burn with embarrassment and hid your head underneath the duvet.

The bed dipped near the foot where you assumed he sat down. “No need to be ashamed. I didn’t think it was possible, but you’re even more gorgeous when you cum. I could spend the rest of my eternity just getting you off over and over again, and I’d never grow tired of it.”

You peeked out to look up at him, meeting his intense gaze, before sitting up against the wall, your bare lower half still covered. “Really?”

He nodded. “I’m curious now, though. What did you get up to with Harrison while I was taking care of things in hell?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” you teased.

“I would,” he responded, licking his lips. “Whatever he did, I’ll show you that I can do it much, much better. Did he fuck you, or rather make love to you for the first time sweetly underneath the covers with the lights off so as not to offend his delicate sensibilities?”

You laughed. “He’s not that bad.”

“So, he did deflower you? Pity, I would have made it so much better for you,” Tom told you, sounding rather disappointed.

You bit your lip, carefully deciding your next words. “Now, I didn’t say that.”

He immediately perked up. “How far did you go with him?”

“You’re being awfully nosy,” you commented with no heat.

He chuckled. “How am I supposed to compete when I don’t know what I’m competing with?”

“I’m the prize?” you asked.

He nodded. “And there’s never been a better prize.”

You paused, considering. “Why do you covet me so much?”

“You’re gorgeous and pristine, a perfect candidate for heaven, down to losing your life saving an innocent. I want to sully you in every possible way you’ll let me for the rest of eternity,” he said.

The thought of that went straight between your thighs, and you couldn’t help but squirm a bit.

“You like that, don’t you, sweetheart?” he ventured. “You want me to do unspeakable things to you, things that wouldn’t even cross Harrison’s mind?”

You swallowed heavily, trying not to show him how much that affected you.

Tom’s fingers played with your calf through the duvet as he talked. “Yes, that’s it. Harrison wouldn’t give you what you need. You’d be hard pressed to find someone more vanilla, even in heaven. You’d get bored of him in a matter of days.”

“Excuse me?” Harrison said from the doorway, obviously irritated.

“You heard me.” Tom raised his eyebrows when he glanced over at Harrison.

Harrison glared back at him. “Just because I chose to stay in heaven doesn’t mean I’m ‘vanilla’ and ‘boring,’ Tom. There’s no rules in heaven against being adventurous in bed.”

Tom laughed. “Yeah, maybe you’d turn the lights on when you’re feeling like spicing things up.”

Harrison’s eyes moved to your pants and panties near where Tom was seated, and he looked at you. “Did he do anything to you that you didn’t want?”

“No, uh, that, I mean-” you started.

“That was all her. Do you want to know how I found her earlier?” Tom asked.

“He really doesn’t,” you insisted, heart thumping in your chest.

“Tom,” Harrison warned.

Tom ignored Harrison completely. “She was a beautiful mess, moaning and writhing in pleasure, but what was interesting was what she was crying out.”

“Please don’t,” you begged, face reddening again.

Tom chuckled and continued regardless. “She wasn’t just moaning Tom, or just moaning Harrison. No, she was moaning both of our names. Our innocent flower apparently isn’t so innocent in her mind.”

Harrison’s mouth dropped open slightly, and his gaze met yours, expression unreadable.

Tears of humiliation and shame pricked your eyes, until they started falling down your cheeks.

“You made her cry, you fucking asshole,” Harrison spat as he crossed the room and climbed onto the bed, pulling you into his warm arms. His wings instinctively wrapped around you while he carefully wiped away your tears.

“I didn’t know angels could swear,” you said softly.

“There’s a lot of misconceptions,” Harrison told you quietly, then more loudly, “maybe you should go where you’re actually wanted, Tom.”

“Fuck off, Harrison,” Tom said, standing up and stomping away from the bedroom.

Harrison hugged you tight, kissing your forehead. “It’s alright now, love. Don’t pay him any mind. He most definitely didn’t become king of hell for his kindness and consideration.”

You swallowed, wetting your lips. “You’re not upset?”

He looked very confused. “Why would I be?”

“Because I…” you trailed off, unable to finish your sentence.

“Tom interrupted something private, something that was none of his damn business, and tried to use it to get under my skin.” Harrison sighed. “I would never be upset with you because you have fantasies. I have fantasies. That part of you doesn’t just go away when you become an angel.”

“Thank you.” You stroked his soft feathers gently, tracing them with your fingertips.

“Now that he’s gone, he didn’t do anything unwanted to you, did he?” he asked.

“No. He was a...well, not a gentleman, but not, well, you probably know what I mean?” you responded, hopeful that he did.

“Good,” he said with a sigh of relief. “Believe me when I say I know exactly what you mean. I didn’t think he actually would, but then again, he didn’t become the king of hell by being what you’d typically think of as a good person.”

You lay your head against Harrison. “Does he do this sort of thing a lot?”

He ran his fingers soothingly through your hair. “Not a lot, no. He’s been weirdly possessive over you. Usually, he would have lost interest by now if he hadn’t convinced you to join him already. Although he hates when he doesn’t get his way and will do almost anything to get under my skin.”

“Do you collect all the new angels from purgatory?” you asked.

“Not even close. There are quite a few of us who do that job. I don’t encounter Tom very often. This was the first time in years,” he answered.

“So I’m just lucky?” you guessed.

He shrugged. “Or unlucky, depending on how you look at it.”

“I have a question,” you told him. “If I do go to heaven with you, will I still get to see you again, or do you just drop me off, and it’s over?”

“Usually, I’d drop you off, and it’d be over, but I planned on seeing you again. I don’t think I could stay away,” he admitted. “Do you want to go with me now?”

“As much as Tom just pissed me off, I’m not ready to decide yet. There’s something...absolutely magnetic about him. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to get him out of my head,” you confessed.

“I get it. He’s always been like that. I don’t want to rush you into your decision. Unlike Tom, I actually care about what you want, and I want you to be happy, whether that be with me in heaven, or Tom in hell.”

You pressed what was supposed to be a chaste kiss of gratitude to his lips, letting it linger as long as he’d let you. He didn’t pull back, and you tentatively swiped your tongue along his bottom lip. His tongue met yours, and you spent what could have easily been hours unhurriedly and gently making out, your fingers moving between his face, and his neck, and his soft wings.

It was everything that Tom wasn’t, and also happened to be exactly what you needed.

You already knew that nothing about this decision was going to be easy.

tag list: @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @adayasgeorgia @moorehollandplz @thollandss @dasexydevitt13 @imagine-lovebug @relise-thefury @strang-ersclub @hollandisapuppy @goldenpeaxh @eeyore101247

[necropsittacus]

I got a request for an Infodump Post on the Revelation imagery in King of the Monsters and tbqh one of my love languages is being asked about my Ghidorah opinions so Here We Go

note: I’m using the New International Version of the Bible, and also I have not rewatched KOTM for this (although I may end up deciding to do that) and am going on memories of my approximately three and a half past viewings. Other note: most of this is going to be me presenting specific Bible quotes and then talking about them a bit. Be prepared for that. also this feels super unfinished to me and shorter than it should be to treat the topic properly, and like i need to rewatch the movie and write an essay 

The whole movie, and Ghidorah in particular, is very focused around apocalypse imagery--the end of the world, the rebuilding of a cleaner, better new world, the breakdown of that attempt to rebuild a better world. This has to do with the Book of Revelation’s focus on the destruction of the world as we know it and the coming of the Kingdom of Heaven. 

except that here the attempt to destroy and remake the world (which, in Revelation, is an act of God, with the Devil as a major part of the narrative but not the prime mover) A. fails, and B. isn’t treated as a good idea to start with by the narrative. While the ending, and specifically information we get in the credits, does show us progress towards a better, brighter future for the world, it’s more “gradual healing” than “apocalypse and rebirth.” The burn-it-all-down apocalypse-and-rebirth style of fixing the world is rather associated with Ghidorah, and the people who release/awaken him. The human villains want to purge the world of humanity’s sins. 

This is one of those places where the religious commentary mixes with commentary on environmental/climate change issues...Alan Jonah’s plan is standing in for, well, y’all know what kind of environmental rhetoric, the “humans are the plague, burn it all down so the earth can heal” type. They’re making a point about the inviability of that kind of goal, that you can’t just kill everyone and start over and hope the earth will fix itself, because it won’t (and, here, trying to make it work like that actively makes things worse--Ghidorah has no interest in *fixing* anything), and that gets mixed with the religious imagery in fun ways. 

It could also have to do with the “false king of the monsters”/“Antichrist stands in the place of Christ” idea--Ghidorah is taking the role, as the one breaking and remaking the world, that in Revelation is assigned to God, but he’s more the Devil. 

And that plays into the image of Ghidorah as the false Christ, the false prophet, the Antichrist--releasing him is supposed to cleanse the world of “humanity’s” sins (and this movie doesn’t explicitly go into the problems with that kind of approach--that it’s not humanity it’s capitalism--but I might argue that it’s implicit--that killing off humanity as an approach is explicitly criticized, it doesn’t work, it fails spectacularly), it just...doesn’t work that way, actually 

Revelation 1:8 “I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.” 

I’m inclined to link this (and the idea is repeated a few times in Revelation, and elsewhere in the New Testament, this is just the clearest example) with the “they were here before us and they’ll be here after us” theme in KOTM. 

One of the major things that happens in Revelation is the opening, one by one, of seven seals on a scroll, each opening followed by a new disaster. I’m inclined to link this to the unsealing and release from stasis of the Titans (supposed to be one by one, although of course Ghidorah disrupts this). 

The Storm Theme

Luke 10:18 I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning.

Rev. 11:19 Then God’s temple in heaven was opened, and within his temple was seen the ark of his covenant. And there came flashes of lightning, rumblings, peals of thunder, an earthquake and a severe hailstorm.

Rev. 8:5 Then the angel took the censer, filled it with fire from the altar, and hurled it on the earth; and there came peals of thunder, rumblings, flashes of lightning and an earthquake.

It’s not clear from that quote, but what’s happening here is the opening of the seventh and final seal (mentioned above). 

While Ghidorah’s primary weapons were originally gravity beams, here they more resemble lightning or electricity (or that has consistently been my impression, anyway). This image is reinforced by his/their identification with a tropical storm. I may be reaching with this, but in context of what I’m talking about below I don’t think it’s unfair to bring up the Luke 10:18 quote in this context, as well as the storms and lightning tied to apocalypse more generally.

This is, or leads into, one of the places where I really like how the climate change apocalypse symbolism I’ve been assured by other people is in there is folded in with the religious apocalypse symbolism. 

Ghidorah represents both something that is unnatural, not part of the established order, a destructive force the planet is not prepared to handle (specifically in the form of destructive weather patterns--which has been pointed out to me as climate change imagery, although I didn’t initially pick up on it myself) and as both Satan and Antichrist from the Book of Revelation.

First, Ghidorah-as-Satan:

The motif of a fight against a multi-headed dragon is in itself arguable as Revelation imagery; Satan primarily appears as a dragon. 

Rev. 12:3 Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads. 4 Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. 

...

Rev. 12:7 Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. 8 But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. 9 The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him. 

Here specifically we get the notion of a malevolent, multi-headed (and crowned--this one’s more metaphorical but checks out with the “false king” thing) dragon being thrown down from the sky, and also the forces more sympathetic to humanity triumphing over the dragon. Also, there’s more “star(s) falling from Heaven” imagery elsewhere that feels at least as relevant, but that gives me feelings. 

Ghidorah as Antichrist

It’s not explicit in the Bible verses I’m working with (or particularly anywhere in the Bible), but I should have a little bit here before I start talking about it too much about what exactly the Antichrist is. The Christian concept of the Antichrist is someone who opposes Jesus and sets himself in the place of Jesus/God, and thus leads the world astray. 

Wikipedia: “Antichrist is translated from the combination of two ancient Greek words αντί + Χριστός (anti + Christos). In Greek, Χριστός means "anointed one" and the word Christ derives from it.[6] Therefore, an antichrist opposes Christ by substituting himself for Christ.”

I want to point out the “substituting himself for Christ” piece here especially, in relation to Ghidorah’s status as the “false king of the monsters.”

Also, it should maybe be noted that a lot of interpretations don’t have one singular Antichrist figure (or even two), but rather an institution, a group, or many people can be meant by the Antichrist (e.g. in a lot of heretical and Protestant traditions the Catholic Church may be Antichrist). Here I’m treating the term Antichrist as referring to one singular figure, who is interchangeable with the Beast, because in the movie we get a specific character in the role. ALSO, the term “Antichrist” is never actually used in Revelation, and may or may not refer to the same thing as “the Beast;” my interpretation, a fairly standard one, is that the Beast is the Antichrist, but YMMV on that. 

For convenience’s sake, I am going to be using “Antichrist” or “The Beast” interchangeably

and “the False Prophet” for the other beast; the terms are a little wigglier in actual usage. Additionally, the figure I’m calling the False Prophet is often conceptualized as a second, lesser or “mystical” Antichrist whose coming presages the “great” Antichrist (the Beast).

One of the slightly off things about these parallels is that while in Revelation there are three separate figures, Satan/the dragon, the Beast, and the False Prophet, in KOTM there are only two, Ghidorah and Rodan. Thus, Ghidorah derives his authority from himself alone, and not from an additional external figure (which also jives with the Satan connection, IMO; Satan’s whole thing in some interpretations is claiming authority for himself).

I’m going to repeat the introduction we get to the Beast here in full. There’s not a ton of physical similarity between the description we get of the Beast and Ghidorah besides the multiple heads, and, as mentioned, Ghidorah grants himself authority, not any external power, but there are other significant parallels:

Rev. 13:1 The dragon stood on the shore of the sea. And I saw a beast coming out of the sea. It had ten horns and seven heads, with ten crowns on its horns, and on each head a blasphemous name. 2 The beast I saw resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth like that of a lion. The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne and great authority.  

13:3 One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was filled with wonder and followed the beast.

We get this explicitly, which is the first piece of Revelation imagery that was pointed out to me--Godzilla bites off Ghidorah’s third head, which regrows (right before he claims the throne fully). 

 4 People worshiped the dragon because he had given authority to the beast, and they also worshiped the beast and asked, “Who is like the beast? Who can wage war against it?” 5 The beast was given a mouth to utter proud words and blasphemies and to exercise its authority for forty-two months. 6 It opened its mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name and his dwelling place and those who live in heaven. 7 It was given power to wage war against God’s holy people and to conquer them. And it was given authority over every tribe, people, language and nation.

This is, again, Ghidorah fully claiming the title of king, and being obeyed/followed by (most of) the other Titans. 

Rodan as False Prophet

Rev. 13:11 Then I saw a second beast, coming out of the earth. It had two horns like a lamb, but it spoke like a dragon. 12 It exercised all the authority of the first beast on its behalf, and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed. 13 And it performed great signs, even causing fire to come down from heaven to the earth in full view of the people.

Here we do get something for the physical description; I think it’s interesting that KOTM Rodan doesn’t quite resemble older material!Rodan (who as far as I can tell, and certainly in Jurassic City which is the other thing I’ve seen with him in it, tends to be basically just a weird red giant Pteranodon, “giant bird” comments from characters in-universe notwithstanding) as much as the other non-original characters. For the most part they just made him a lot birdier, and I don’t think “match the Bible description of the second beast” was like, a driving force in that, but he does sort of have horns. That’s mostly beside the point, anyway; if we’re taking Ghidorah-as-the-Beast as a given, Rodan is clearly the other Beast acting as essentially a second-in-command and herald to the first one. The fire coming down from heaven thing is significant; you could also take “coming out of the earth” to apply to his emergence from a volcano. 

14 Because of the signs it was given power to perform on behalf of the first beast, it deceived the inhabitants of the earth. It ordered them to set up an image in honor of the beast who was wounded by the sword and yet lived. 15 The second beast was given power to give breath to the image of the first beast, so that the image could speak and cause all who refused to worship the image to be killed.  16 It also forced all people, great and small, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hands or on their foreheads, 17 so that they could not buy or sell unless they had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of its name. 18 This calls for wisdom. Let the person who has insight calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man. That number is 666.

Most of this doesn’t really say anything new for the parallels I’m reading into it, and there’s no equivalence to the idolatry or the Mark of the Beast, I just really like the false prophet as a figure, and it reinforces the “given authority under the first, higher-ranking Beast” thing. 

Miscellaneous other things

Thessalonians 2:7 And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will destroy with the breath of his mouth, annihilating him by the manifestation of his coming. 

“The lawless one” is another common descriptor for Antichrist. I want to point out “destroy with the breath of his mouth” in context of the ending and Godzilla’s atomic breath. 

Additionally, Godzilla’s own rise from the brink of death (after having been nearly killed while acting in a capacity helpful to humanity (fighting Ghidorah), at that) parallels a very central motif in Christianity (the rise of Jesus from the dead). 

Rev. 5:15 Then the kings of the earth, the princes, the generals, the rich, the mighty, and everyone else, both slave and free, hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains. 

This gives me feelings re everyone who can going to hide in bunkers.

I’m not going through the whole movie again looking for illustrations for this, it’s probably long enough as is, but I have this one saved anyway and I think it makes the Christianity theme REALLY blatant:

Just the framing of the shot here, the cross in the foreground, and Ghidorah’s pose kind of mimicking it, is telling.

I also want to point out this verse in terms of the visuals here: 

Rev. 8:12 The fourth angel sounded his trumpet, and a third of the sun was struck, a third of the moon, and a third of the stars, so that a third of them turned dark. A third of the day was without light, and also a third of the night. 

We very much do tend to get dark sky.

Rev. 8:7 The first angel sounded his trumpet, and there came hail and fire mixed with blood, and it was hurled down on the earth. A third of the earth was burned up, a third of the trees were burned up, and all the green grass was burned up. 

this feels like More Rodan Imagery Things

Rev. 8:8 The second angel sounded his trumpet, and something like a huge mountain, all ablaze, was thrown into the sea. A third of the sea turned into blood, 9 a third of the living creatures in the sea died, and a third of the ships were destroyed. 10 The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water— 11 the name of the star is Wormwood. A third of the waters turned bitter, and many people died from the waters that had become bitter. 

The first part of this, and the bitter waters, feel reminiscent of the Oxygen Destroyer idea (though that was taken from the original Godzilla, so I don’t think they stole this bit outright so much as they found a place they could mix Bible parallels with the older material they were working off). Also, there’s a volcano, probably. And “star falling from heaven” is again always a Ghidorah vibe for me, given the whole “alien descended to earth” thing; same thing with this next line:

Rev. 9:1 The fifth angel sounded his trumpet, and I saw a star that had fallen from the sky to the earth. The star was given the key to the shaft of the Abyss. 

And also, I can’t remember if the thing about his responsibility for the K-Pg extinction event I’ve seen around a few times is a fandom thing or suggested in the movie, but if it is canon--that’s another place that folds the Biblical imagery in with the scientific mass extinction imagery. 

Rev. 9:19 The power of the horses was in their mouths and in their tails; for their tails were like snakes, having heads with which they inflict injury. 

This isn’t necessarily actually a Ghidorah vibe but “tails like snakes used to inflict injury” does make me Feel Some Things in that regard. 

There’s also some other stuff I Think might be readable in that direction, but I’m not as certain about any of it and this is really long as is. 

My conclusion is basically just...they went fucking ham with the Revelation imagery in this movie, both to play into the more major theme of environmental destruction, and I honestly speculate as a response to the criticisms of some other American Godzilla stuff as “taking the God out of Godzilla”--if that’s the case, they’d be putting a sense of spiritual reference into the movie that would be more familiar to a lot of Western audiences compared to the hints of that in the original Godzilla. and i love it and i’m always a slut for the book of revelation 

Thank you very much for reading.

[sanguinarius-archive]

im not that familiar with treatsforbeats i watched like. a few videos but other than that i know nothing! but i would be glad to hear you info dump!

there is SO MUCH..... im gonna put a read more below because this turned out to be way longer than i expected. but you asked for me to infodump so here goes

okay so. treatsforbeasts, i dont know what the whole meaning behind the channel is. i cant specifically say what the goal of the channel’s content is because its all in my interpretation. but i do know that there are meanings behind each video as silly as it may seem and im just gonna list them off here (note that not all videos will be included since i may not be able to interpret every one, also this is going from earliest to most recent)

1. men with small hands carry very little treats to give to little girls with the sharpest little teethinterpretation of this video is csa/child sex trafficking. “little treats” refers to pills or some form of drug (small, makes u trip). however the “sharpest little teeth” could represent the little girl fighting back.

2. mom ordered ants for my birthdaychild abuse. mother forces son to watch and/or possibly engage in inappropriate activity with her husband.

3. i love jesusobviously a dark parody of christianity/catholicism. shows how blindly some fanatical christians/catholics will follow their beliefs, to the point where they no longer truly “follow” it as theyve warped the message to fit their own morbid desires (using christianity/the bible to excuse hatred and judgment upon others).

4. i me you love godanother dark parody of christianity/catholicism. i believe it mocks how fanatical christians/catholics focus only on the negative aspects of the bible instead of learning the true messages, as many of the words used are from the bible and are negative words.

5. behdsPROBABLY just a silly video but, i think it represents how people let negativity embed itself into their lives and complain about it even though it’s so easy to just let go of it.

6. jaffreymocking some sitcoms for how dumb and repetitive they can be.

7. kiss papa’s mustachepossibly child abuse, again.

8. storytimereferences/implies child abuse. storytime is also the name of one of treatsforbeasts’ songs on his Sanguinarius - Sin Nomine album.

9. hymns for him (1 + 2)just total parody albums of christian rock. vocals make you feel like youre dying but its actually kinda good to listen to in some parts

10. i screaming inside my headRoii (the character)’s first appearance. also probably symbolizes how depressing some kinds of music are

11. felines have nine livesnot sure but i feel like this is a warrior cats reference, in complete and total honesty (dont watch it if you dont like c/at d/eath though, its fictional but. yeah)

12. beastsreflection of society as a whole

then there’s. the two short films and sin nomine. so i’m gonna delve into that now and be warned, it’s fuckin long

treatsforbeasts is the self-titled short film and the first longest video on the treatsforbeasts channel. basically what i get from this is that treatsforbeasts, the channel itself, symbolizes an actual channel that chauncy (the child character in the short film, who is portrayed as a literal oral fleshlight with a body) watches. he consumes these concepts, such as internalizing misogyny (claw-paw skit), toxic masculinity (can i like balloons skit) and being exposed to a normalization of christianity (heaven and hell skit). there’s also a skit in which a spider binge eats and then proceeds to throw it up, which chauncy actually mimicks when his father brings him food.his father very much disapproves of these messages being shown on tv. he tells chauncy in regards to the claw-paw skit, when chauncy belittles the female character, “that’s not very nice, now is it”, and says “you can like ballons, you can love balloons if you want to”. his father goes on long tangents about how many institutions have normalized and inherited the concepts of christianity, and that it is one of the contributing factors of violence in the world. he references colonization, the holocaust, and in general mentions minorities.we learn that the father actually ended up being a father to chauncy in the first place due to (nsfw tw) masturbating in a sock to a picture of robert smith, and 9 months later chauncy was born. so technically there is no mother. the father talks about the meaning of life, and how everyone on the inside is a little bit of a freak, but there’s only two real ways you can accept that: 1) realize that your freakishness gives you a special lense through with you see the world and aid it in the ways the sane and happy ones probably cant, and 2) realize that real way number 1 is just lying to itself and that youre still a somewhat integral part of the lives of those you care for so deeply. he says that choosing which way to live really reverts back to the meaning of life, that you cannot live day by day believing there’s no reason to. “but whatever reason you give yourself to live, [...] you do it, because it is correct to live.”

sin nomine comes after the first short film, but i’ll delve into that after because really it touches on many many of the points and interpretations here.

the second short film, the beast is dead, was released just this year on valentines day! i think the main focus of the short film ranges from relationships to just once again a mockery of christianity/catholicism. once again it starts off with a father and his son. there is no mother figure present though she’s said to have left, due to the father watching too much “birdies”, a show, which i think is a metaphor for porn addiction. the father is implied to being prone to neglecting the son’s wants and not really caring for him, being disappointed in him, etc. etc..something important about the beast is dead is that it uses masks to portray those who are “followers” and those who are not. the father, interestingly enough, does not wear a mask. he seems to acknowledge what his son is saying when he goes on philosophical rants as well, but disregards them as nonsense and ends up leaving after bonking him with the stupid spike (metaphor for how parents will shut their children up by giving them a phone or toy to play with).the three other characters who don’t use masks in the beast is dead are Roii, Tom, and Doctor Zoughth (pronounced Zoth). Roii makes a comeback, finally! but this time he’s singing a song called “i love the sound of screaming babies”. it symbolizes how men will impregnate women and then run off, whether or not because they fantasize about pregnant women. it could also be a want of seeing a hurt child (hence the line “i know that all of you watching must think i’m insane, for loving when something so innocent is in so much pain”).however another interesting factor is that, the characters who don’t have masks, aside from Tom and the father, have red eyes at some point. this is a metaphor for how they’ve lost their humanity. Roii, at some point in the music video scene, only has one red eye whereas his other is normal. this hints at how part of him has lost his humanity while the other is still in tact.the other character that has red eyes is Dr Zoughth, but instead of him having only one red eye, both his eyes are red. this doesnt show until later though when he’s taken Tom away from the masked characters (followers). Dr Zoughth is very much self-aware. he is not blind, but simply has lost his humanity. Tom tries to reach out to him, to get him to think differently, that maybe resorting to coping with emotional struggles by worshipping something simple like flesh or something more higher than himself and forgetting his own mortality isn’t the healthiest way to live. but Dr Zoughth, having been long gone already, does not accept this and executes Tom.his own personal disciples grow tired of his tyranny and kill him and perform a ritual of some kind, disposing of his body (in the river i think, not sure). this entire ending of the film is basically the title, the beast is dead. but, i believe the beast is not dead, personally, because someone like Zoughth will always live on in other people, other beasts.there’s also a scene called grandma hespar and i think it implies how little people focus on sexual abuse towards men (when it’s from women).

anyways, with that being said, it’s time for sin nomine.

so now that i’ve explained pretty much all of treatsforbeasts to you, and whoever else is reading, it’s clear that the person behind this has issues with christianity (or catholicism), and child abuse. the person behind treatsforbeasts is Jordan Diniz, as he is also the person behind sanguinarius.

sin nomine is a very personal reflection of jordan’s life from what i gather. it depicts his struggles with how he views the world around him, whether that be due to personal experiences or not. at first i interpreted most of sin nomine to be the story of someone who is lgbt, but with jordan himself coming to me and telling me he is straight (POLITELY), it’s clear that is not the case.

so it most likely has to do with trauma. either religious or not, or both. it even says in the song storytime (remember i mentioned it earlier?), “fast hand, white hot trauma, reverberates inside the skull. innocence and intellect raped, reveals a view of a darker world. flesh on flesh, the bonds of affection - confused for the bonds of submission and fear. self-hatred and mistrust repel all beauty that comes near.” i don’t like to say that this solidifies a personal experience, but it’s highly possible.

a lot of sin nomine kind of goes over the same points in different ways, but it makes you think. i definitely feel like something happened to jordan at some point in his life but that is his story and it’s not my place to truly tell, since i don’t know him personally.

there’s also the other channel, adrianturcher. it has videos with seemingly no real purpose except for there being two videos with the same names of two songs on sin nomine, “nex memoria” and “a fetish for psychos”. nex memoria is just a compilation of clips that seem to symbolize the process of death (nex memoria is a latin phrase which very roughly translates to “memory’s death”). a fetish for psychos is a bunch of old clips from parties and shows that possibly jordan himself attended. they’re from 2002 judging by the date in the video. the lyrics in the song “a fetish for psychos” also seem to hint at these events, so it’s possibly that it’s like looking back on happy memories that make you feel sad instead or something. the song also might possibly reference a mother at the beginning.

sanguinarius also has its own channel simply called sanguinarius. there’s the music video for divine comedy (one of the songs on sin nomine) and a cover of because you’re young by david bowie, posted on his birthday a year after his death.

anyway, that’s. pretty much all i have to say. jordan diniz is a fuckin’ mastermind, he’s really good and cool and he’s very kind from my experience talking with him a couple times. he supports the gays as well!

sooooo, treatsforbeasts does have some very creepy/unsettling moments in its content but its EXTREMELY good and i recommend getting into it if you can. 100/10

[bunnymcbunnister]

SPN Season 15 Spoiler Sheet, update 11/11

Hello! I finally had some time to clean this up a bit. I am going to make a separate post about old episodes if anyone wants to reference the past. I also pulled out some general spoilers that have already happened to keep this shorter. It’s getting to be a monster with length. 

As for updates, we got some nuggets from Jensen and Misha while promoting their latest projects. No pictures yet for ep 5 because of the holiday. Also no description for 7 yet because there will be a week off for Thanksgiving. Hopefully JaxCon will have some juicy updates like DC did. Under the cut!

DISCLAIMER: This is gathered info from various sources. This is not confirmed information. Stuff in this WILL be wrong. Don’t take this too seriously. This is for fun. 

General Info (oldest to newest)

There is hope to wrap up some Wayward Daughters storylines in the back half of the season

They are adding a whole extra day to filming to do the final scene. They will film the final scene last.  (Implies logistics- lots of returning people?)

Brad Bucker used the word “romance” when asked about Sam and Dean’s arcs. Did not specify who. 

In an interview, Kripe indicated that the series ending would have “peace” for Sam and Dean

Not much new at the TCA’s, but it was said it is “unlikely” Jeffery Dean Morgan will be back since his last appearance was such a good end note. There were some jokes about a Castiel spin off. Hell, I’d watch. 

There will be a special tribute ep, not clear if its one of the 20 or additional

Misha will be in 15 out of 20 episodes this season

According to Dabb, Sam and Dean are going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop

Also according to Dabb, Jack is still in the empty and “he’s not coming back in the near future”

Cas’ deal with the Empty may come up later in the season. 

Dabb intimated that Chuck was inherently responsible for killing Mary when asked how the boys would respond to Jack. 

Adam Rose, who played Aaron Bass from the golem episode vauge-tweeted about working a show with two badass leads. Could be Supernatural, but I think the timing is off- he indicated he was filming late Friday night. 

Dabb compared Chuck and John Winchester, claiming that Dean would have to break free of “conditioning.” Also, for Jack “there have been cosmic forces fighting for his attention since he was in the womb — and that will continue. As much as this season is about Sam and Dean finding agency, it’s also about Castiel finding agency, and it’s about Jack finding agency. As always, death is never the end. It’s just part of the journey and that’s certainly true with Jack.” 

Per Variety: At the outset of the season, the “Supernatural” foursome of Dean, Sam, Castiel and Jack are split up, but Dabb notes they won’t be for long because “ultimately this is a found family, and they have deep emotional bonds” that make up the most important part of the show.

Sam’s wound from the equalizer gives his powers/an advantage of some kind (per TVGuide)

Jack will be a critical part of the ending of the show

The cage/Adam is looking like it will be coming up for midseason

Shaving People, Punting Things: https://youtu.be/azTwku2uosA

The shaving promo, punting things promo shows glimpses or Lucifer!Sam and MOC!Dean, as well as bearded Dean in tactical equipment. Recent interviews by Dabb seem to indicate that these are glimpses into other universes, a la Apocalypse World, and other endings from Sam and Dean. 

According to the MarySue and other interviews, Sam’s bullet hole will give him a connection and insight to god- like a tin can telephone string.

In the cage, Micheal and Adam have formed a working relationship (MarySue)

Dean and Amara’s connection will be explored

There will be a bunker themed episode (MarySue)

According to Misha (Cinablend) Dean and Cas will have discord up to ep 8- which is the mid-season finale. 

At a convention, Jake Abel was asked to share two lies about Adam’s return and a truth. The said 1. Adam is not upset about hell 2. Adam kills someone 3. Adam bring someone back. I am assuming its the bring someone back (Micheal?)

In one of his cookbook interviews, Misha used the word “we” several times when talking about the final scene of Supernatural. He said that would be the last scene they shoot. It seemed to imply that he was in the scene, but that could be open to interpretation. 

The finale will air on Monday May 18th. The show will move to Mondays when it comes back on March 16th. It’s gotta come back either than that and go on a mini break or something, because that is not enough Mondays. 

Episode 15x05

Title: Proverbs 17:3

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: RICHARD SPEIGHT, JR. DIRECTS – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean’s (Jensen Ackles) routine case turns out to be anything but. Richard Speight, Jr. directed the episode written by Steve Yockey (#1505). Original Airdate 11/14/2019.

Written by: Yockey

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  9/4-9/13

Airdate: 11/14

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-spoilers-photos-proverbs-17-3/198575/

Promo:https://youtu.be/4Jo1--7WqHA

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? No  Jack? doubtful

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info::

This will most likely be Yockey’s last episode.

Matt Cohen was around, but I imagine he is following directors to prep for his own debut directing. 

Scenes were filmed in the bunker and in a wooded area. A woman could be heard screaming in the outside scene. 

The bible verse referenced is: “The fining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: But the LORD trieth the hearts.”

The preview indicates werewolves. 

Episode 15x06

Title: Golden Time

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: OUT OF DIFFICULTIES GROW MIRACLES – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) are visited by an old friend. Castiel (Misha Collins) investigates the disappearance of a local teen. John Showalter directed the episode written by Meredith Glynn (#1506). Original Airdate 11/21/2019.

Written by: Meredith Glynn

Director: Steve Boyum

Filming Dates:  9/16-9/25

Airdate: 11/21

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack? Not sure

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info:

Misha tweeted from set in costume, so Cas. 

Misha also tweeted a pic in blood spatter with two bullet holes in his shirt

At least Jensen and Jared filmed in Rowena’s apartment 

This will be a witch episode- Witches will invade Rowena’s apartment looking for books. They are very powerful. Dean gets thrown into a wall and Sam uses magic to stop them (from TVGuide)

 Episode 15x07

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Jeremy Adams

Director: Amyn Kaderali

Filming Dates:  9/26- 10/7

Airdate: Dec 7th is what Christian Kane tweeted…. But that is a Saturday. Dec 5th maybe?

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Yes Jack ? 

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info :

Misha posted from set in new shoes- very shiny with well tailored pants. (The next day he posted in full Cas costume, so are the shoes a one off? Another outfit with new shoes?). 

Misha and Jensen made a video from set. I feel like if Jared was around he would have been in it since it was about money raised?  Maybe a Dean Cas scene?

There will be a battle scene in this that Jensen mentioned he was looking forward to and we would enjoy. 

After NJ Con, it appeared that Jensen returned to work, Jared and Misha stayed an extra day and then Misha went home. Misha only did about 2 days of filming. 

Jensen and Christian filmed at a bar called Swazey’s. This was the fight scene Jensen was referring to. 

At some point, Sam might be shirtless or we can see part of his chest- Jared had his anti-possession tattoo at the weekend convention.

Per TVGuide, Leo and Dean will have a wild night out in an effort for Dean to recapture his mojo. Dean will become the lead of a band called Dean and the Impalas, which is made up of Supernatural crew. 

Osric Chau popped over to set, but he is filming on Legends of Tomorrow in the same studio. Sebastin Roche also indicated he would come by, he is filming on Batgirl. Unfortunately, neither Kevin or Balthazar will appear in this one.  

Episode 15x08

Title: Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Buckleming

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  10/8- 10/18 (no filming 10/14 for Canadian Thanksgiving)

Airdate: 12/12 (?)

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? yes Jack ? 

Guest stars: Jake Abel, Shoshannah Stern

Other Spoilers/info:

Jake Abel posted a script with the caption “hell hath no fury like a brother scorned”

Shoshannah Stern was spotted on set- Eileen!

This will be the midseason finale

At BurCon, Misha mentioned Dean is still acting like “a dick” in the ep they were filming- which is this one. 

Episode 15x09

Title: 

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Berens

Director: Singer

Filming Dates:  10/21-10/30

Airdate: March 16th?

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? I can’t tell but maybe not Jack ? maybe

Guest stars: Rob Benedict, Kim Rhodes, Jim Beaver

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Midseason premier episode

Misha was at home for the first week of filming, and I think the second. I don’t think he is in this. 

Alex and Rob were hanging out- Chuck and JACK?

Kim Rhodes posted in front of the SPN set and with her trailer- Jody looks very likely. She also had dyed hair and she has been rockin the grey for the past few Jody eps. Maybe a flashback/AU?

Jim Beaver posted from set- Bobby!

Jensen shared that in this episode, Dean will pray to Cas to “confess” why he has been treating Cas the way he has. Misha confirmed this in another interview and said tears would be shed- not sure who is doing the crying (besides me)

Episode 15x10

Title: 

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Dabb

Director: Showalter

Filming Dates:  

Airdate: 10/31- 11/12 (No filming for Veterans/Armistice Day?)

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ? 

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Misha texted some local fans from set in costume about an WA election, but after the convention was promoting his cookbook all over the place. I think he filmed 2 days, max. 

The story will be about Sam and Dean as heroes from the good and bad side (from MarySue)

At DCCon, Jensen shared that  this a bit of a wacky episode- Sam and Dean lose their abilities to fight, Dean gets cavities and Sam gets a cold. Jensen later seemed to refer to this ep when talking to TVGuide- mentioning the Impala will get a flat. 

Episode 15x11

Title: 

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Davy Perez AND Meredith Glynn 

Director: Charles Beeson

Filming Dates:   11/13-11/22 (?)

Airdate: 

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ? 

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

[rkevent]

MGA SEASON 5: THE GRAND FINALE STARTS NOW!

It’s the start of the end. After nearly two months of airing, the grand finale has finally arrived. At the start, there were 100 hopefuls, and now only 20 of the best contestants remain and fight for the title of winner. Only one group may take on that title and now it is time to see what they have to show us for it. The episode starts live at 9pm sharp and as the audience cheers live, so do the people at home.

“Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the grand finale of the Mnet Global Auditions Season 5!” It’s the assigned MC, Hong Jinwoo, who greets the public and, in return, they all cheer in excitement. “It’s been a long road here, but we got to learn a lot and see a lot during it. Many left us along the way, but they also left their impression in everyone’s hearts at home. Tonight, our 20 finalists will have to give their best and show what they got to be called the very best. Before starting, let us please greet our lovely judges!”

The man points over to the five chairs filled with known faces. With each name he mentions, the judge stands and greets the public around them. “Nova Entertainment’s CEO Hyun Bin! Royal Entertainment’s CEO So Jisub! KT Entertainment’s CEO, Katie Lee! TRC Entertainment’s CEO Tiger JK! And Sphere Entertainment’s CEO, Baek Jiyoung!” Beautiful text appears below their image to introduce themselves to whoever was watching, but these are figures anyone tuned in should already know.

“All of our finalists worked very hard during this week,” the MC continues. “Before they get on the stage, why don’t we show you what they were up to during practice? Check it out!” The man points to the camera and, while the images appear on the big screen on the stage for those watching there, the same scenes show on everyone’s TV screens at home.

It’s the same order people are used to. The building on the screen is that of Sphere Entertainment. Inside, there are only four contestants. It’s only them are the three coaches and… cupcakes. “It’s Jinwook’s birthday!” Jinki says as they each grab a cupcake for themselves and when the camera zooms on the birthday boy, candles fly around his head. But there isn’t much time for commemoration. Instead of jumping into an impromptu ‘Happy Birthday to You’ performance, KAND DANIEL decides to start things off. “Can I say something?” He asks, and his teammates allow him to.

“It’s about last round, and what the judges said.” A quick flashback shows their previous performance and a few of Tiger JK’s words to them. “We believed yours took a step away from what is normally thought of when people think of Sphere. You didn’t give us much more than what already came with the song.” The CEO says before it returns to the practice room. “Truthfully, I agreed with everything they said, and I worried about it all before performance day, too. I should’ve spoken up about it before, so I wanted to apologize for that.” DANIEL continues with a cupcake in hand. “It was my direction that put my trio team in danger and sent my teammate home, and I didn’t want that to be the case again. I want to do better this time!”

“I know I mentioned it last week, but what about a mashup?” His crowd doesn’t look too appeased, but the boy continues on. “Hear me out, okay! We can choose two songs with easier dances because I think everyone but WOOJIN will struggle learning two dances.” Jinwook cuts him off. “There’s something I’ve been working on, actually. We can use that so we already have a head start and don’t have to dedicate so much time to it if everyone wants?” With a newly found light, people finally seem to agree. “Yeah! That would be really cool!” DANIEL says. “It fits the Sphere concept if it was a Sphere idol that made it, right?”

From his corner, WOOJIN shoots them a question. “What are we going to do about choreography?” After a small pause, DANIEL suggests something. “It would be cool if we could include elements of choreography from the other dances too.” The dancer doesn’t look too convinced by his words. “Maybe, if you can learn the dances fast enough.” On the other side, JUHO speaks up. “DANIEL, we can learn the choreography together once WOOJIN has sorted out the parts. It might help things move faster if we can both help each other during the process.” With everything decided, the team gets to work.

While the team gets to work on sorting parts, WOOJIN steps off to learn the choreographies, as he had done in the weeks before. The rest of the team joins him later on and they all dance along to different songs, but the mashup itself is saved to be played only on their grand stage.

“To show what they prepared,” the MC appears on the stage and the quiet silence from the practice room changes into the cheering of the live audience, “please welcome our Team Hollywood!” The first four finalists make their way to the stage: KANG DANIEL, MIYAWAKI SAKURA, BAEK JUHO, and PARK WOOJIN. They stand there for a moment wearing brightly colored sunglasses. The stage is properly decorated with tropical vibes including blow-up palm trees.

They take off their glasses and put them in their pockets before the instrumental starts to play. It’s WOOJIN who starts singing the first lyrics, followed by DANIEL. With a mashup, it also allowed for him to intercalate his lines while JUHO sings the one from a different song. It’s SAKURA who comes in next to introduce yet another song, all tied in together. While he had already sung before, DANIEL also raps along with SAKURA. WOOJIN takes over the final dancer center and then the other members slowly sing the last few lines from DANIEL to JUHO, and then SAKURA. They hold their pose for a moment before reaching for their sunglasses, then putting them all back on in unison, turning and strutting back stage.

The camera moves into Nova’s practice room as the coaches are about to give their feedback following the last episode’s results. Sunmi is the first to talk as she scribbles on her notepad.“Okay, so not only where you guys clocked for the ambitious choreography it was also subpar of expectations. now not only do we need to meet expectations but we have to exceed them.” And despite ranking fifth last episode, instead of looking gloomy, the group seems determined to show they could be more impactful and do much better during the finals. After some time brainstorming, they decide to go with an angel and demon concept for their Nova performance. They settle for a remade version of Paradise Lost mixed with B.A.P’s 1004 hoping to highlight their strengths and choose to add an intro to develop a story. While it looks challenging to find a good way to make it all work, they can count with the coaches’ insights and experience. Sunmi helps with the skit and suggests choreography aspects, Sungyeol provides extra ideas for stage setups and effect and Seungwan mixes the song with her own flair to make it stand out.

During one of the practice sessions of 1004, YEWON pulls KENTA aside and apologizes to him. “I’m sorry too, that we didn’t do well. I don’t think there’s much we could’ve done better except gone for a different song, but… still. And I can understand why you were frustrated with me last week, but I hope you’ve changed your mind since!” He says. “I’m glad you get to have a bigger role in both of our songs. You’re too talented not to shine as much as you can on our last stage.” With this, they return to practice and the honest conversation proves to be a good remedy to improve their teamwork. With only two vocalists now, Seungwan continues sharing her expertise with JACKSON and KENTA, giving exercises and tips. “When practicing high notes, remember to use sounds that go outward. Ah!” She demonstrates as she gestures for them to repeat after her. "You may laugh, but that’s actually a good sound to make.” She smiles. “You can practice by being angry with me. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.” After some sessions, KENTA seems to project his voice better.

The contestants continue to receive the coaches' advice through the week and CHANGBIN approaches Seungwan to revise the lyrics he wrote. After studying it for a second, the coach informs she's going to consult some friends. It’s And*roma’s CHAEYOUNG who answers the phone and tells the boy to go over the rap so she could hear it, giving positive feedback to him. On the other hand, coach Sunmi doesn’t seem happy with their song choices when she returns to check their progress. “I’ve looked over everything and was filled in on your ideas and reasons behind them but I just wanted to let you guys know I feel like your first choice for Nova isn’t really a Nova song at all.” She says, but it seems too late to make drastic changes.  Although disagreeing with their choices, the coach still helps to choreograph the dance opening, making good use of the skillsets of the members so that the dance wasn’t too difficult and more creative.

An ominous instrumental starts and YEWON, KENTA and CHANGBIN are seen kneeling on stage with bibles open in their hands. They mouth something as if they were reciting hymns and keep a blank expression on their faces. Is JACKSON who appears behind them with a sinister look on his face and takes off his cloak before their song starts. KENTA also throws his cloak and Bible off to the side and reveals his all-black outfit before he gets center-stage and does a solo dance that looked like he was playing piano, the expression still strong. The other two left behind throw aside their Bibles and cloaks, then get into formation and JACKSON sings the first verse. KENTA shows his vocals and the group manages to keep up with the choreography. CHANGBIN opens the rap portion following the chorus, letting YEWON shine with her powerful rap before returning to showing what he was known for. JACKSON’s high notes create more impact when they sing the chorus again and church bells can be heard, the red fog becoming red as they transition to another song. The instrumentals give off a different vibe as YEWON dances. The whole stage lights up as KENTA sings and they lift the girl up. Another dance break is performed by the dancers, followed by rap and then high notes in the background. Toward the end, CHANGBIN and KENTA take off their black tops and reveal white clothes underneath. The instrumental ends the performance and fades out beautifully.

The camera zooms and the scene changes to the designated practice room inside TRC. With only four of them now, their spirits seem shaken as they gather for the first time to talk about their plans for the final. “Well, I was disappointed of course.” LEE CHAERYEONG says during her interview when asked about the results last week. “It hurt a bit. Is it bad that I took the words the judges said personally?” KANG HYUNGGU admits. However, the group looks determined to show a better side of themselves to the public and discuss different ideas they would like to incorporate into the performance. Coach Jinsoul points out they should keep their strengths in mind as they share their thoughts, and CHOI MINHO presents a rough copy of a mashup he’d had before to the others. There are disagreements about whether they should do it or not, but in the end, they agree with a mashup for TRC stage. Once again, they decide to join forces and work on the choreography together.  Another clip of HYUNGGU’s interview appears again. “We’ll prove to you that we’re not boring this week, judges.” The boy says with a serious expression.

Even when there’s visible progress, it’s Doyeon who notices something different in MINHO and approaches him later. The boy opens up about the loss of contestants that became friends and his current situation. “I know people are tired of hearing about it, yeah? That I’ve been on the show before… but it’s different this time. The pressure’s different. The stages are different. The people— I didn’t lose this many friends last time. Seeing ‘em get eliminated, it’s…” He tells her and the coach gives her piece of advice before joining the other coaches again and letting the male focus on practice. The coaches continue to give them some pointers through the day, especially on singing and stage presence. "Doyeon and Jinsoul did their best to guide our singing. They checked on us, kept our spirits up, but made sure to give us constructive criticism. The three of our coaches were so supportive and I think everyone needs that. Being on the MGAs or not.” MINHO tells the interviewer. HWANG YEJI is the next to share her thoughts on them. “Jinsoul was really very helpful and motivating when it came to my singing? She gave me such good advice and upped my confidence a lot. Doyeon was also very nice and helpful, she’s also so pretty, i’m shocked. Then SANA as well, I am really grateful to all their advice these two weeks.”

More scenes of their practice time are highlighted, showing them tweaking and making adjustments for the choreography and lyrics. On Sunday, YEJI storms out of the practice room without explanation and surprisingly returns with food for everyone. “Is anyone hungry?” She asks and the team shares Korean BBQ to get some energy for the next round of practice. CHAERYEONG appears practicing her facial expressions after getting a few tips from the coaches. HYUNGGU brings another round of energy drinks and snacks as they discuss how to make the performance stand out, throwing more ideas for the stage and team name. “Lucifer,” HYUNGGU suggests once the concept of angels vs. demons comes up, but they settle with Sirius. "I think our creativity is overflowing this week and you’ll want more. I think we’ll get another episode then?” MINHO says shares in the middle of the week. “I personally think it looks promising. The song choices are more ambitious and interesting and their ideas are definitely bolder than what they prepared last week, so it has potential to impress the audience and the judges.” Doyeon gives her opinion. On the other hand, Jinsoul shares her concerns. “Honestly, I was worried about the song choice. There aren’t so many singers in our team, and since we had Nova as our other concept well… you know how their dancers are, but MINHO has a great tone when he’s singing, and they put together really interesting performances with a theme and a storyline and everything, so I think it’ll be good.”

The video comes to an end and the audience warmly welcomes the following group with louder cheers as they make their way to the stage. The girls are wearing elegant flowy white shirts and angel wings while the boys show a different side with their black and red suits, a glimpse of the concept they chose for the stage. “Shining bright!” HYUNGGU calls out and they all shout “We are Sirius!” in unison. After they’re done with introductions, they move to take their places. The lights dim and the stage is completely black, building the expectation for what’s coming.

When the beat starts playing, spotlights reveal the four sitting on contrasting sides of the stage in thrones. The left side is more ethereal while the right one shows the opposite vibe. White feathers trail behind the girls as they stand to walk to the center and black ones are left on the ground where the boy once was. When they meet center-stage, pyrotechnics are added and YEJI starts the song with clear vocals. As they dance and sing, the group also tells a story of demons trying to make the angels fall for them, a constant push and pull. HYUNGGU steps forward during his part, along with MINHO, as they offer roses to the girls, but they toss them aside. They showcase a self-choreographed routine and CHAERYEONG continues to prove she’s also a talented rapper. Who surprises is MINHO, singing the verse and showing a set of moves from MYNAME’s Paradise. The feathers, the red apple, the interactions, and facial expressions support the story they’re telling as the song progresses. YEJI sings the chorus and HYUNGGU is responsible for the adlibs, flames flaring up with each mention of fire and creating an intense atmosphere on stage. MINHO returns with a rap portion. Leading to the end of the performance, HYUNGGU sings and the boys reveal their intentions and replace the flower crowns the girls had for one with black roses. It’s MINHO who’s in charge of the last line.

Another company appears on the screen, this time it is KT. The four contestants sit together in the room and YUKHEI hands each girl a cup of coffee. The mood is clearly more subdued this time as things all turn towards the end. At least they appear focused on the mission and choose a song quickly. They’ll follow the story they started the previous week. SIA suggests the storyline and the rest help add onto it. NAKYUNG gives the idea of making the stage look like a secret hideout, YUKHEI adds the idea of using a couch and YURI of decorating the area with chain-link fences.

They still struggle a bit with some other sorts of details. A team name doesn’t come as easily so they decide to call for some help. The screen shows scenes of Eclipse of the KTWorld Concert, and the text below it says that the idol coaches couldn’t stop for help due to their schedules. Back in the practice room, the contestants are all crowded around SIA as she holds onto her phone in front of her face. They all sport their best begging faces and puppy eyes. On the other side of the line comes the voice of Minji who is illustrated by a picture of herself on the bottom of the screen.

As a savior, the idol suggests ‘Black Widow’ as the name for their group, and they all appear to agree with it. They all say their goodbyes and it shows the end of the day. On the morning after, YURI gets there the earliest. She has a number of cupcakes in front of her as well as some coffee orders beside her. SIA arrives after her, and YURI shouts out. “Happy birthday, SIA-unnie! I hope you enjoy it— I made the cupcakes fresh and frosted it, piped everything myself. But it was worth it for you!” The birthday girl looks surprised. “I- I didn’t realize you knew it was my birthday,” she admits. “You’re too good to me, you know that, YURI?” They hug each other before the screen changes back to the stage.

“And now,” the MC says, “let’s welcome our KT group, Black Widow!” The four make their way to the center before doing their group greeting. NAKYUNG is the one to start it. “When cupid fails, we are-” and then all the girls point their hands as finger guns at YUKHEI and he puts his hands up in a surrender pose “Black Widow.” Once they’re done with their individual introductions, they move over to their starting positions. Before any song can start, the stage goes dark.

A clip of their performance last week plays on the screen behind them showing all five of the original members. When the song dies off, JIEQIONG’s voice, the contestant eliminated last week, says “The story isn’t over.” From then, their song of the week starts to play. YURI starts by vocalizing over the instrumental, followed by a few lines from YUKHEI. SIA is the one who takes the actual first verse. The dance is a bit demanding to those not exactly trained in dancing, but they keep up. When it gets to the bridge, they repeat the same movement from their introduction, but this time with YURI singing in the middle. Before the song can pick back up again, NAKYUNG comes out with the highlighted short rap. They all turn their backs in the end and walk away.

The final place appears on the screen: Royal Entertainment. The last four finalists are sitting together trying to come up with ideas when the door opens and their coach, Cheri, appears with an ice cream cake in her hands. SUWOONG hurries over to help her with a smile. The smile quickly disappears when the cake tips over and falls to the ground. KYUNGSOO stretches his arms but stands too far to reach, HEEJIN and YOUNGJAE freeze in shock. Suddenly, Ella and Wonwoo walk in with a new cake and the contestants sport a new expression of shock.

They dig into their second cake, commemorating their win from the previous week. Despite the delicious lunch, the finalists are soon put to the test. To prepare themselves for their performance, Ella insists that they must practice their squats. Cheri instead suggests they should harmonize while doing squats to make sure they’ll be completely prepared when on the stage. The four proceed to do as they’re told, sweating while trying to sing. Once they’re done, SUWOONG throws himself on the ground. “Coach Ella just wants to see us suffer, doesn’t she?”

However, on the following day, SUWOONG is the one dragging KYUNGSOO behind the door on a sprint. “Quick, hide! I think that’s Cheri’s footsteps… shh!” They wait quietly, but the one who walks in is HEEJIN. He quickly recruits the girl to join them and soon there are three people trying to hide behind a door. “We’re going to get them back,” SUWOONG says “You do know you’re not exactly quiet, even when you try to be, right?” HEEJIN says, but they continue with the plan. When the door opens again, they shout a loud “Boo!” The one coming in is YOUNGJAE, who lets out a loud shriek while retreating to a corner of the room. “Don’t do that!” He whines while hitting SUWOONG’s chest. Soon, the boy is recruited as well, and the four of them wait for their coaches to arrive.

When the door opens again, they all shout once more. Both Ella and Cheri squeak. SUWOONG is laughing away while KYUNGSOO and YOUNGJAE walk over to check if the two are doing well. They apologize constantly afterward and then get back to practice. They are shown back doing squats, and maybe they feel some regret from pranking the coaches back. With this, the show is back live on the stage. The MC smiles at the camera before speaking. “Representing Royal, welcome the Royal Flush!” The contestants walk over to the center and start to introduce themselves. “We are Royal Flush!” They greet before bowing with unison. They introduce themselves individually before getting into their positions.

They’re either seated or lying down. The stage is decorated with beautiful flower sets and the camera zooms in on those before the song starts. KYUNGSOO is the first to sing, followed by SUWOONG. They go over their squat choreography as they had so intensely practiced before YOUNGJAE takes it away with their lines. HEEJIN is the one who delivers the high note, as expected from the chosen best singer on the early episodes. They all shout together and confetti shoots out from above them. With their final pose, the confetti continues to fall as if they were white petals, ending their stage.

It takes a few moments with them standing on their place before the camera moves to someone else, the MC. “Weren’t those some great performances?” The crowd cheers loudly. “Which one was your favorite?” They all shout different names, but it’s tough to point anything out with 3000 people present. “Well, but that wasn’t the end quite yet! Today, to make this finale special, the groups prepared two performances, each with a different concept. Would you like to know which ones they were assigned?” The audience replies with a loud ‘yes!’ and the man chuckles. “We’ll gladly show you… after the commercials! Don’t change your channel we’ll be right back!”

[this-is-a-love-story-fleabag]

Love is awful (2/5)

More Fleabag fluff. 1168 words. Also available on ao3.

All chapters: prelude 1 2 3 4 5

The priest let out a good-humoured groan. He was sprawled happily over the grass with a preposterously large fishing hat over his face and a cold tin of M&S G&T in one hand. He was wearing her favourite of his t-shirts, the one with the little buttons at the neck and long sleeves that he’d pushed up over his forearms. God, his forearms. “Leviticus is cheating,” he said, indistinctly. “That man had some serious problems.” “This book is the word of God, you can’t just pick and choose which parts of it to take seriously.” He lifted up the hat to peer at her, incredulous. “You’re really not at all familiar with the history of Christianity, are you?”

Somehow, the brilliant blue of the sky, the moth-eaten tartan blanket that they’d taken from the rectory, and the sun beating down on Hampstead Heath elevated a box of cafe leftovers and some cans of pre-mixed cocktails into a genteel picnic. She lay across the blanket on her stomach, wearing a white sundress, already marred by several severe grass stains, kicking her converse in the air as she studied the book in front of her. “Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind,” she read aloud, “thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed; neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.” The priest let out a good-humoured groan. He was sprawled happily over the grass with a preposterously large fishing hat over his face and a cold tin of M&S G&T in one hand. He was wearing her favourite of his t-shirts, the one with the little buttons at the neck and long sleeves that he’d pushed up over his forearms. God, his forearms. “Leviticus is cheating,” he said, indistinctly. “That man had some serious problems.” “This book is the word of God, you can’t just pick and choose which parts of it to take seriously.” He lifted up the hat to peer at her, incredulous. “You’re really not at all familiar with the history of Christianity, are you?” “How do you think Jesus would feel about poly-cotton?” “Sweaty and itchy, the same way everyone feels when they wear poly-cotton.” “How about labradoodles?” “You’re missing the point,” he said petulantly, propping himself up on one elbow and abandoning the hat entirely. “What is the point of forbidding mixed crops?” “The point is, fuck off!” “This is some nuanced theological discourse, Father.” “You have not entered into this discussion in good faith. I should confiscate this,” he said, jabbing the bible with an accusing finger. “It’s just giving you ideas.” She closed the book with a snap and waved it at him. “I do not permit a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man,” she recited from memory, with her best approximation of an obsequious face. “Rather, she is to remain silent. Is that right?” “Don’t you point that thing at me!” He narrowed his eyes. “Have you been memorising bits of the bible just to annoy me?” “Yes.” “Well that’s… a lot of commitment,” he said with a laugh, deflating. She made an undignified snort of amusement, and he flopped the fishing hat over her head. “How do I look?” she asked, fluttering her eyelashes and adjusting the hat to a rakish angle. “Beautiful,” he said, after looking at her for a long, appreciative moment. “I never thought I’d get you doing Bible study on a Saturday.” “In a pure and virginal white dress, no less,” she added, “100% cotton.” “Plus about 10% grass stains.” “Yeah, I had to catch a frisbee. I don’t think that’s explicitly forbidden in the bible.” Their conversations mostly went like this, verbal sparring that degenerated into good-natured bickering. Every now and then, he would look at her, suddenly completely helpless and lost, and he’d have to press her up against a wall and kiss her, even if they were in the middle of cooking dinner, or stuck on the Tube, or listening to a Very Serious Feminist Talk. It would be inconvenient, she thought, if it wasn’t so nice. On cue, he rolled over on the grass and nudged at her face with his nose, asking for a kiss. She pretended to consider it for a moment, then brought her fingers to tilt his chin upwards and pressed her lips to his. He made a happy little noise and rolled back, pulling her on top of him and into a bear hug, eliciting a squeal. She melted a bit, despite herself, and peppered his face with (embarrassing, sappy) kisses. She was feeling sixteen again, in some ways - day drinking in the park, free and unfettered under a blazing sky - except she wasn’t excruciatingly aware of her own gangly awkwardness, there were no bottles of suspiciously blue alcopops in the vicinity, and the boy she was snogging wasn’t trying to grow an ill-advised pubescent moustache. Acting like a teenager was much better, she mused, when you were actually an adult. “We should graffiti something,” she said into his chin, “or listen to melodramatic music then jump over a ticket barrier.” “First of all, I don’t want to get shot, and second of all, what?” “Nothing, never mind. Are you hungry?” “For food?” He was smiling his third-dirtiest smile. She waggled her eyebrows. “Do you want a slice of my pie, Father?” “Oh God, that actually sounds really good,” he realised, groping behind his head for the picnic basket. She pulled herself upright to pull the basket closer and retrieved a couple of takeaway boxes. “Mushroom or goat’s cheese?” “Surprise me.” The afternoon rolled by, slow like treacle, as they ate and talked and threw crumbs at each other. He strung together a daisy chain and laid it lovingly over her hair. She blew a dandelion clock in his face. It was nice. English weather being what it was, however, after a while the sky clouded over and fat raindrops started to land on their skin. “Did you bring an umbrella?” she asked as she scooped everything higgledy-piggledy into the basket. “Nope, you?” “Nope.” “Fuck. Time to run!” He grabbed her hand and dragged her along after him, giggling like an idiot. They sprinted across the park and took shelter under an awning, damp and shivering. He rubbed her arms to warm them up. “Do you think it’s going to let up?” he said, peering hopefully at the sky. “Well, eventually.” He drew her into a warm hug, resting his chin on top of her dripping hair. “I think you’re making me wetter,” she said into his shirt. He drew back. “Sorry, sorry.” “I didn’t say to let go!” She scouted the area, assessing their options. “Bus!” she cried, spying one that looked like it was going the right way. She pulled his hand and they set off at a run, waving the rolled-up picnic blanket madly at the driver as the bus approached the stop. They piled into a seat, flushed and panting a little, and laughed at their mutual dampness. “You look like a drowned thing,” he said, ineffectively patting at her damp head with his equally damp hand. “You look like an aftershave advert,” she said truthfully, taking in his muscles under his translucent t-shirt and his handsomely tousled hair. “Unfair.” "Fuck, you're freezing," he said, taking her hands in his. "It was your stupid deity that made it rain." "Well, he does sometimes like to do me little favours." "Favours? You're just as wet as me." He waited until they were about to step off the bus before responding. "I can see your nipples through your dress," he whispered, then sprinted away before she could punch him.

Next chapter ->