#you go home from mass not learning anything about the word of God but u did find out a random fact about rabbits

[papasmistakeria]

Father Dougal McGuire’s sermons must’ve been insane

[cuethemulti]

ik this is probably too much to ask for but can I please have a little story of Henry and Carrie White being besties ^^? I barely see any content of their connection character wise and that makes me sad -Lammy/Carrie

You are so right so let’s change that :)

Summary: AU where Carrie and Henry had known each other in their childhood but the beginning of their true friendship wouldn’t start until they meet again in unexpecting circumstances. In this story, Carrie ends up running away after the events of the prom. (As always I ended up writing more than I thought lol) Thank u the request and hope you like it <3

God’s Plan

Carrie wanted to go home.

The small girl stood outside of the church, wrinkling the fabric of her brown plaid dress between her small fingers. (Carrie was never allowed to wear anything red; it was the color of sin, her mother always told her.)

Mass was over, and Carrie listened to Mama chatting with another woman who she had just met outside the church. She was pretty with her blonde-styled hair and pearls that looked quite expensive. Although her mother was chatting politely to her now, back at home Carrie would later get a lesson about the sin of the day: vanity.

“We always attend mass at least four days of the week,” Mama was bragging to the woman. “ It's one of the few things I will miss from this town. Of course, God will follow us wherever we go.”

“Very true, Ms. White.” The woman nods with a polite grin, showing off her pearly white teeth. She reminded Carrie of one of the dolls that she wanted to get for her birthday, but her mother preferred to get her miniature angel figurines.

“My family and I attend church whenever we can as well.” The woman turns to someone hiding behind her. With her hands on his shoulders, the woman brings up a boy to join them. “This is my son, Henry. His sister must have gone somewhere with her friends. He is the shy one.”

Henry was just as neatly dressed as his mother, but not as chirpy. He says nothing, keeping his hands in front of him.

“Oh, but solitude is a good trait to have, Mrs. Creel,” Mama nods encouragingly. “Makes kids stay out of trouble so that they can spend more time learning about the Lord. Just like my daughter.”

The mother smiled a little and looked down at Henry. “Yes, that's what we are hoping for. Aren’t we?” The boy did not reply, maintaining eye contact on the ground.

The woman’s face faltered at Henry for a second before looking up at them again with her same bright expression and comments, “What a shame that you and your daughter are moving away so soon. Perhaps these two would have gotten more time to become friends.”

Carrie’s mother pursed her lips together before putting on a tight smile. Carrie knew that no matter which boy it was, Mama wanted them all to stir far away from Carrie. “I suppose so, but everything goes according to God’s plan, Mrs. Creel, and we must abide by it.” Mama holds her cross around her neck as she assures her. “If He wants something to occur, it will happen however we least expect it.”

After both mothers gave their final goodbyes. Henry leaves with his mother, never uttering a single word.

X

Carrie opens her eyes, meeting the blue sky above her. She is walking in the middle of an empty road. Carrie rubs her eyes until she feels the blood that is still smeared on her hand. She blinks rapidly, her senses coming back to her. Carrie’s feet sting from pain as her high heels step on the hard concrete. She has been walking without any sort of direction since last night, dozing off every couple of minutes, but only had one particular dream.

Carrie has no idea why she remembered the church boy now after all these years. Perhaps it is her mind wanting to escape the reality of her life, the part of Carrie wishing to be a little girl again like her mother always wanted her to be.

A tickle in her throat makes Carrie cough. Her drenched dress is making her feel colder. Shortly after Carrie sees a pile of trash bags piled on the side of the road. They must have fallen off someone’s truck. It was like, dare she say, a work of a miracle. Carrie stops to search through the bags until she finds an old blanket. She uses it to wipe the blood off her face and hair before wrapping it around her waist. She shivers as she continues to walk.

The road is still far ahead of her. Everything is quiet. The only thing Carrie can hear is her growling stomach with one demand.

Apple pie. Last time she had told Mama she didn’t want any because it flared up her pimples. But Carrie could really go for some right now.

Carrie continues walking, her eyes closing every few seconds. Her hunger and sleepiness were weighing her down, but she somehow still has the strength to keep going. She thought she would walk forever until a few minutes later, the gray clouds moved just enough for the sun's rays to peek down and brighten her path. Carrie stops in front of the familiar sign that reads “Welcome to Hawkins.”

Carrie’s heart jumps. This was far too much of a coincidence. She somehow made it back to her childhood town without even knowing, just when she had just dreamed it. Was this perhaps a literal sign from heaven?

Carrie continues walking down the road, wondering if Hawkins still looks the same as it used to before. However, she knew better than to go out into the main streets looking like this. So instead Carrie steps out of the road and goes towards a crowd of trees, leading her into the forest.

The sound of a crow croaking echoes down the path. Not being able to take the pain in her feet anymore, Carrie takes off her high heels, tossing them aside and walks barefoot on the grass. She needs to find somewhere to rest. Her legs felt like they were going to fall off.

A few feet away in the middle of the grass is a pile of firewood. Another miracle! She thinks. Carrie quickly goes over, kneeling next to it as she puts her blanket aside. The wood hasn’t been used yet. Carrie had never made a fire before. She rubs the pieces of wood together several times, but not a single spark appears. She continues getting more aggravated with every failed attempt, wishing that her powers could have included the fire element.

“Hey! What are you doing to our wood?”

Two men surround Carrie. She jumps to her feet, quickly grabbing onto the blanket to cover her bloody dress. Carrie’s heart hammers when she notices the shotgun that one of them carried.

This isn’t a miracle, it was a trap.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know this was yours.” Carrie’s voice quivers as she steps back.

As the men got closer, they scan her up and down with disgusted looks.

“Holy shit. What slaughterhouse did you come from?” One of them snickered.

“I'm warning you.” Her voice was quiet but losing the gentleness from before. “Leave me alone.”

“Calm down, girl.” The man holds the shotgun close to his side. “All we wanna know is how you got here.”

His friend whispers next to him, “Isn’t that the crazy bitch in the newspaper? The one who set a high school on fire?

Carrie keeps backing away and looks behind her. Seeing that there is no other way of escape, she takes a deep breath as she lets the blanket drop from her hand. Carrie swore she wouldn’t do this again, but she is growing tired of these men. They were making her stomach curl and her head buzz, just like how she felt at prom.

Carrie remembers that she also swore to herself that she would never let anyone humiliate her ever again.

Her hand was about to move when suddenly, one of the men yelled as he was lifted into the air, dropping his shotgun to the ground.

“W-what the hell?!” The other man backs away as he stares up in horror. His friend was frozen in the air with his arms stuck to his sides, struggling to scream. From the trees on their left, Carrie sees a young, blonde boy approach with his hand stretched in front of him. He sternly stares at the man in the air who gasps and wheezes, like he was being choked.

Carrie’s mind is still struggling to understand what was happening. It wasn’t until the other man got behind the boy, the gun now in his hands, his hands shaking as he pointed that Carrie finally felt the pressure on her body force her to act.

“No!”

With that, the gun‘s direction is pointed up at the sky, and with a bang, the man’s friend lands on the floor with the bullet through his chest.

The boy turns towards the remaining man. Before he could react, the man is thrown against the tree. When he attempts to run away, Carrie makes his neck simply snap, making him fall on his knees before sprawling onto the grass.

Carrie breathes heavily, still feeling adrenaline of her powers burning through her body.

The boy turned to her, looking a lot calmer than she was. “I assume you must be Carrie White?”

Carrie whips out her hand again as a warning. “Who are you?”

Henry blinks. “You really don’t remember me?”

Carrie thinks her suspicion was impossible, but she whispers, “Henry?”

The boy from her church, the one who she had just dreamed about, stood there a lot taller than before, but it was his same neatly kept blonde hair and the monotonous expression shadowing his blue eyes that confirmed it.

Henry nods. “I’m sure it was my mother who made the biggest impression on you that day. She tends to do that to everyone. Yours did as well, I’m sure. ” Henry talks like they were having a normal conversation that wasn’t happening next to two dead men.

Not letting her guard down, Carrie circles around him, her hand still up. “What are you doing here? And how did you . . .” her voice trails off as she struggles to sort out her jumbled-up brain. The only coherent thought that comes across is when Carrie notices blood running down Henry’s nose.

“You’re bleeding.”

For the first time, Henry smiles a little before wiping his nose. “I think I’m not the one whose bloody appearance is concerning.”

Carrie mumbles, “It’s not my blood.”

Giving a short nod, Henry looks down at her dress. “I figured. It must have been quite a party.”

Carrie narrows her eyes at him. “I’m not in the mood for jokes,” She finally drops her arm and starts walking away from him, but Henry gets in front of her. “What do you want?” She barks.

“I heard about what happened. Our towns aren’t so far away from each other.” Henry explains, paying no mind to Carrie’s glare. “I wanted to help a friend.”

“Friends? We never even talked.”

Henry shrugs. “Whatever you want to call it. Either way, we both murdered these men, and I think that makes us something. Accomplices, at best.

“I didn't need your help.” Carrie huffs. She runs her hands through her hair, feeling the anxiety and anger still knotted in her chest. It wasn’t until she got overwhelmed that she sits under a tree. “I don’t know what’s going on,” she mutters, rubbing her head. “Everything is out of control.”

Henry stands next to her as he looks around the forest. “I would say this situation got under control a lot better than it would have.“

“No, you don’t get it,” Carrie digs her fingernails in the dirt. “I’ve done terrible things, Henry. Awful things.” The sobs that Carrie had buried are now swelling in her throat. “My mother was right. I-I’m the devil. So many people are gone, all because of my sins!” She buries her head into her hands. “All because I disobeyed-“

“Hey, stop.” Henry puts his hand on her shoulder. When she doesn’t listen, he kneels in front of her, grabbing her arms and forcing Carrie to look at him.

“Stop. Crying.” Henry’s voice is firm but gentle. “It’s not going to get us anywhere. Take a deep breath.”

Carrie closes her eyes and inhales deeply before exhaling a couple of times. After a minute, Carrie feels calm enough to acknowledge the reality of who this boy was.

“You’re like me. “

“Yes.” Henry lets go of her and sit down. “I’m guessing your powers developed as a child too.”

Carrie looks at the grass. “Not until later. It just happened one day in school and. . .” She brings her knees up to her chin, not being able to say anything more without feeling the burning shame of the day when she first got her period, humiliated in front of everyone.

“My mama said I was born from sin,” she adds quietly. “That is the reason why I am like this.”

“And do you believe that?” Henry stares at Carrie.

“I don’t know . . . I don’t know what to believe in anymore,” Carrie turns over her red hands as she looks at them. She thought she had all the answers when she first got her powers, but now Carrie is just as lost as before.

“My mother used to tell me that too.” Henry picks up a small spider that is crawling on the bark of the tree. “She was a hypocrite, calling herself a Christian, yet she kept hiding away from her own sins.” Henry settles the spider on the grass. “What a surprise it was for her,” he says with a dry smile, “for a child to destroy the lie she’s been living in.”

Carrie stares at the spider crawl away as she remembers how her mother has raised her. The way she made Carrie recite the several passages worth of prayers, hitting her every time she wanted to do something that she wanted for once, and locking her inside the closet for hours until Carrie was begging for forgiveness, and it was all done in the name of being good for God only for all of it to be destroyed in a high school dance.

Suddenly, an odd feeling starts to rise from Carrie’s chest. It was something that Carrie didn’t think she would ever do again until everything that has occurred clicked together.

Carrie bursts out laughing.

Henry actually looks startled as Carrie falls to the grass and cackles loudly, making herself be heard everywhere in the forest. The tree seems to shake from the vibration.

“What’s so funny?”

Carrie’s cheeks are bright red as she tries to catch her breath. “It’s just hilarious don’t you think?” she sputters as she gets up. “How hard our mothers tried to do everything to keep us down the “good” and “holy” yet everything still went straight to hell!” Carrie’s fist hits the tree, her strength causing a large tree branch to almost fall over them, and she wheezes more laughter.

Henry watches as Carrie gets to the center of the forest, spreading her arms out dramatically. “Of course, none of it works. People like them are the devil. That’s why none of it mattered!” Breathing deeply, Carrie’s eyes lowered to the ground. “None of it mattered,” she states, quieter. “We were damned from the beginning.”

With that, Carrie slowly goes back to where Henry is. She sits down under the tree, turning away from him as she leans her head back against the tree. Carrie’s stomach aches from the intensity of her laughter. She becomes quiet again as she regains her composure, the familiar emotional numbness settling on her once more.

“You’re looking at it wrong.” Henry finally says. “This isn’t damnation, it’s redemption.” Carrie can hear him lean forward. “We both have a gift, and if we work together, we can be our own saviors. You’ve already proven it.

Carrie slightly snorts. “I don’t think there’s anything heroic about destroying my high school prom.”

“It’s a start.” She knew Henry was smiling. “We both can learn from each other. I can even learn to teach you more about how to keep your abilities more stable.”

Henry leans away when Carrie sits up and sighs through her nose. “How do I know if I can trust you?”

Henry shrugs. “You don’t. But your options are limited, and you don’t really have anything more left to lose.”

Carrie’s eyes meet Henry’s again, and she sees a childlike determination in him that Carrie finds comforting. She barely knew Henry, yet Carrie felt closer to him than anyone she’s been with. They both were the only people in the world who understood each other. Carrie needs that the most.

Henry gets up to his feet. “But we’ll have to get you cleaned up first.” He points across the forest. “There’s a lake close by here. I can bring you some clothes and from there we can find a place to stay. “

Henry offers his hand down at her. When she still hasn't moved, Henry looks away, his face falling slightly as it seems the answer was no.

Instead, Carrie says. “Only on one condition.” Henry looks at her again, slightly raising his eyebrow.

“Can we get some apple pie afterward? I’m starving.”

Henry smiles. “Sure.”

As a new sense of hope grows for her, Carrie grins and takes Henry’s hand.

Perhaps it was all part of God’s plan after all.

[vrishchikawrites]

About YZY leaving YMJ/JFM with her kids Post-WWX Arrival

Dear Dee, feel free to delete or ignore this or post it, whatever floats your boat. This just stuck in my head after those posts and I had to blurt it all to someone. Thanks for taking the time to read my word vomit.

So I had to do this instead of an ask because it got long and I wasn't sure how many asks it'd need or how short I could cut it down without losing parts of the argument. And then other things came up as I was writing and, well.  Well..... >_>;;;; 

But you know, after that post/ask you had about YZY fics saying 'Fuck U' to YMJ/JFM & leaving both with her kids, I had a sarcastic 'yeah right' attitude about it. Mainly due to a lot of negation emotions to such an abusive (and delusional) bitch, partly due to how she wouldn't do that since it doesn't seem to be something her sort of character would consider either because she'd think of it as 'losing' (losing what, IDK, it's why I consider her type of person crazy) or she legit wouldn't think about such a viable action.

But then later, in the shower, I seriously went 'Wait, she can't fucking do that' and it wouldn't be about how MXTX uses her as a part of the narrative but entirely about the/their culture in the novel; the actions that have and would be taken in response; and her entire toxic personality as well.

1) We already know that the sects and the cultivation world in general is sexist, elitist and so Capital T 'Traditional' to the point that it's starting to petrify and any deviancy from this is an exception rather than the norm. YZY might be a madame of a great sect (for what that's worth considering how shit of a madame she's been and the titles she's chosen for herself) but she's still a woman even with her high rank and the things she's personally accomplished.

Even if she was in her rights to leave a 'bad' marriage, she'd be the one who'd get scolded more instead of JFM by her natal family, her former husband's family and by their entire society at large even if she had a few singular supporters. Because That's Not How Things Are Done in their society and I do believe that such a thing was rare even when it was accepted method by the upper echelons. Especially since it would have to be done by more than YZY simply deciding that She Wants Out and just- goes and Gets Out. With no serious allegations that would allow her to divorce or separate from YMJ/JFM without the input from her family, JFM's family and, I think, possibly some measure of compensation as well. And no, having or bringing in a 'bastard child' is not a serious enough offence for such a humongous decision. I think something more along the lines of treason or crimes against multiple, high-ranking parties would be more along the lines. Maybe.

And even if she does this, she'd be considered 'Used Goods' (such a terrible comment) and there'd be no other good/proper marriage prospects for a divorced woman with children let alone a woman like YZY with her entire abrasive personality and attitude put off even easy-going JFM.

(If she'd been widowed then it'd be more forgiven but I consider that a Real Bad End since, IMO, it would lead to the sudden and inevitable decline of YMJ either via mass exodus of disciples and/or residents of LP; being merged with another sect due to it's unstable leadership; or create an internal political war 'cause I bet you anything that the YMJ Elders/relatives (if they have any) Would Not Want YZY in charge of YMJ when she's already proven herself such a shit betrothed let alone madame.)

2) Speaking of families, while YMJ/JFM/LP as a whole might be glad to see YZY's back, I don't think her natal sect, MSY, will be glad to see her come storming back after all the effort they put into getting that particular marriage alliance with YMJ. And if she brings her children with her? Oh man, oh boy- mother or not, that could be considered as kidnapping or line theft (is that a thing?) especially if YZY is also seriously considering divorce proceedings and raising them as Yu and not Jiang. That could give leave to, for anyone more unforgiving and maybe JFM if he's pushed enough, disown both JYL and JWY from the Jiangs through no fault of their own (though I'm sure YZY would make it so as well as blame JFM for her own decisions and mistakes).

Therefore, any inheritance or benefits they might gain for being legitimised children of a great sect are forfeited. JYL will likely lose that betrothal with JZX because JGS will drop it like a hot potato and JWY won't be a sect heir because YZY literally decided to remove that by deciding to raise JWY as a Yu, no matter their blood relation to JFM. They leave him, they leave YMJ and everything attached with it. Which is if YMJ/JFM doesn't demand MSY to give back their heir/ess and to punish YZY for her actions. Or send all three of them back for the appropriate reactions/decisions.

Their society would demand no less in reaction because, to them, it would seem like YZY had gone mad and JFM would look weak (or weaker) and imply that YMJ is vulnerable and exploitable if JFM doesn't do something in response to her actions. That's not even getting into what the other smaller sects may try to do in an attempt to curry favour with YMJ or what LLJ or QSW would try in order to destroy or diminish YMJ. And whether JFM chooses to demand his children back or not, it may not change the fact that this may give him reason enough to choose a nephew or niece to be the new sect heir especially if, even after getting rid of YZY's poisonous influence, JWY grows up to be his mother's child more than his father's or even his own person.

Either way, such a thing would bring great backlash on YZY, and MSY as well as the collateral. No one would want to give face to her or her children because it would bring up some very uncomfortable questions and scenarios to the other sects- specifically, what would happen if the female members of their clans/sets decided to follow the footsteps of YZY and leave with their children and heirs. Especially if they use it as an excuse to leave for their own comfort and whims and not some legitimate wrongs and dangers. That would create some more restrictions on women thanks to YZY

3) And lastly, if any one of those idiot YZY stans think that she'd ever give up the status of being a madame of a great sect they'd be as crazy or crazier than her. YZY is all about status and power and face. Specifically, her status, power and face and how people in her reach reflect her or 'insult' her. She is a selfish, terrible, abusive and toxic person and can only see people in regards to how they would benefit her and the elevation of her and in no other way. Especially her family. They cannot be their own person, they can only be an extension of her and gods forbid they go against her.

We can see this in how she treats the people she supposedly loves. JFM? Arguments day in, day out along with accusations and slander of cheating, having one(1) supposed 'bastard' and being 'in love' with CSSR. Which all seems sus as hell. And that's when she's actually there and not out 'night hunting'. Even her 'training' seems to border on unhelpful rather then helpful if my vague recollections of juniors fainting from exhaustion can be relied upon (please call me out if they're not or find proof).

JYL? Berated by not being 'strong' but not helped at all to be 'strong'. It doesn't help that YZY seems to believe in the same standards strength in their society- that is, of martial masculine strength which does not and should not apply to JYL who has been said to be sickly. Which means h should have been learning a different way of cultivation/fighting anyway.  If that was something she wanted and had been offered in the first place- which I doubt. That isn't even getting into her repeated generational trauma mess of a betrothal which was decided only by those 'sworn sisters', accepted by her as a way out of her terrible home life and puts her squarely within reach of JGS who we know to be a womaniser, rapist, predator and a possible ephebophile considering we don't know the exact age of his youngest 'conquest' or the age of MZY's mother when they met which could be anywhere from 14 to 21.

JWY? Gods, so much meta on him and his(non-) relationships with his parents that I don't think I can contribute more to it. It's been all said and done. Unless people want me to stir the pot by saying that, maybe, just maybe, YZY resents JWY as much as she 'loves' him.Either because he's her son and yet never manages to 'accomplish as much' as WWX or because he's a boy and therefore, more benefits and allowances than a girl/woman- more than anything that YZY ever got without either a fight or screaming at someone about. *shrug*

So, in conclusion to this sudden an unexpected essay that I wrote(I'm so sorry about that, I thought it would be shorter -.-;;;;), YZY leaving YMJ/JFM with her kids? Impossible. Not without some sort of personality transplant or a complete AU. She's too prideful, too bitter, too angry, too everything negative and little positive. She's a resentful product of the values and restraints of her society taken to the extreme negative with a willingness to inflict her pain on others to an abusive degree. But she's also too obsessed and reliant on those same values and restraints to keep up the image of her status. So her? Giving those up? You'd be more likely to see WRH as a doting grandfather than that.

---

Dee - All of this is true and yes YZY leaving YMJ is highly unlikely. While there will be consequences if she decides to leave, she does canonically lives separately from her husband. They seem to be in a situation where they are married but living separately, which was a common way to end a marriage (at least in spirit) back then. She essentially had all the perks of being Madam Jiang but fulfilled none of the responsibilities.

Afaik, her training the Jiang disciples is a donghua thing? I may be wrong but I recall she spent most of her time nighthunting.

As for taking her children along with her- that's completely impossible. At that point, children were the property of the father. She could leave but she would've never been allowed to take JC.

[thelowlysatsuma]

alright dipsticks, hear me out

taz balance au where everything is the same except that lucretia and barry have each others’ farspeech frequencies

it all starts about a year after lucretia voidfishes the plane. she’s poking around goldcliff, hoping to find some way to con some rich shit into paying for her gigantic moon base, when she runs — literally runs headfirst — into some bespectacled nerd in denim

barry, for his part, doesn’t know why this complete stranger is offering to buy him lunch as an apology for spilling his Fantasy Starbucks all over his oldass shirt, but he sure as shit isn’t complaining. especially when something, something about this kid feels so... familiar

in a spur of the moment decision, lucretia gives him her farspeech number. barry doesn’t think anything of it at the time

...anything, that is, until he’s rising, spectral and flickering, over his battered corpse, and he begins laughing hysterically, tears glimmering in long-gone eye sockets. he may not have lup back, but he’s got his little sister.

so they start texting. is barry furious at lucretia for what she’s done? sure, a bit. but he understands her logic, and his temper is soothed when she point-blank tells him that she’s going to help him find lup. they may be working against each other as far as the relics are concerned, but if lucretia can locate at least one more shred of her former family, then by god is she going to. barry understands, he thinks, and so they help keep each other a little less lonely over a long ten years

lucretia keeps barry updated on how the other birds are doing, as best she can. they rejoice together as magnus and julia take back raven’s roost, and when glamour springs is shadowed by a mass poisoning barry has to do everything up to physically restraining lucretia from beating the ass of whichever motherfucker did that to taako. wait, he tells her. physical pain is temporary. a lich, on the other hand, is in a prime position to make some douche’s life a living hell. lucretia grins and offers to fund his plots in any way she can.

barry, for his part, keeps lucretia up-to-date on the search for lup. they have matching little cork boards in their respective offices, each filled with maps and theories and half-baked what-ifs. they aren’t any closer to finding out what happened to her, but they will. they have to.

speaking of things happening, barry is the first one to find lucretia after wonderland. he hadn’t been able to reach her for a month, and so when he feels the enormous surge of pure magical despair explode outwards from the felicity wilds, he transports himself there as quickly as he can. he finds his baby sister at the centre of a mile-wide crater, twenty years older and countless sacrifices poorer, and he holds her as gently as he can without physical hands, and makes her promise to never deal with wonderland again. fuck, he’ll get the animus bell for her, he doesn’t care. he just can’t see lucretia in that state ever again. (never again, that’s what they told themselves, in a group huddle late one night the dawn of cycle 66. he’d failed her once. he couldn’t do it again.)

as she builds up the bureau, lucretia starts getting questions about her best friend on the stone. lucas asks her point blank who it is one day early in their acquaintance, and she answers “b- uh, b-j” “that tells me basically nothing. what does that even stand for?” lucas demands. “uh,” lucretia says, “🅱️amazing jrace”

thus begins a fine tradition of bureau employees trying to get any info they can on the mysterious “bj”, including his actual name. so far some of the top answers they’ve gotten from madame director include “bitchin jackass” “burger joint” “beetlejuice” and “banjo jimboree”. once, robbie asks her if he’s her secret lover, and lucretia has to summon a bucket before retching in disgust, which puts paid to that particular theory fairly succinctly

barry, for his part, adores these rumours. he keeps asking if lucretia will lift the lich barrier, just for a day, so he can come and stir up even more shit. lucretia, while admittedly very tempted, denies.

when he finds out that lucretia has been telling bureau employees that the red robes are evil, barry is understandably insulted. the next group of regulators that touch the ground are covered in fantasy cheez whiz for the duration of their mission.

lucretia gets him back by replacing all the denim in the jeans at his base with silly string. barry moves bases, and the prank war escalates

(no one has the courage to tell madame director that her hair has been turned rainbow at the last candlenights party. privately, lucretia thinks she looks bitchin)

every now and again, lucretia will text barry in a panic. these texts tend to look like this:

“barry.” “barold aid me” “barry I fucked shit up real good this time” “barry” “barry” “barry I was at the fantasy Olive Garden and the waiter said ‘enjoy your meal’ and I said ‘you too’ barry kill me n o w “

barry can and will mock lucretia mercilessly for this. he also insists for weekly video updates on fisher and junior.

he also has biweekly fantasy skype sessions with davenport

booyah: I saw a woman so beautiful I started crying???

bear-old: oh mood

booyah: and then I hired her and her son (who’s a little bitch) to work on my secret moon base and I think I’ve made a terrible mistake???????

bear-old: oh my fucking god this is why I don’t trust you to stop the apocalypse

when the thb start working as reclaimers, barry demands weekly updates on them, as well. it goes about as well as you’d expect

booyah: magnus ate the philosopher’s stone

bear-old: he fucking w h a t ?

booyah: he used the glutton’s fork, and he ATE the philosopher’s stone. taako and merle used stone skin and stone shape to get the damn thing out. happy fucking candlenights.

when barry finds out that taako’s DATING the fool who’s been chasing after him wile e coyote style for over a decade, he loses his s h i t. he and lucretia have a girls’ night where they bitch about taako and eat shitty chocolate to cope

bear-old: you HIRED a BABY???

booyah: he’s ten! that’s plenty old. and he’s certainly competent, seeing as he found my organization when even you couldn’t.

bear-old: creesh please. please do not Irreparably Fuck Up A Small Child

booyah: hey, at least I’m not the one who threw him off a moving train!

bear-old: I never threw anyone off a

bear-old: lucretia

bear-old: who

bear-old: who in your employ threw ANGUS MCDONALD, a LITERAL CHILD, off of a MOVING. VEHICLE?

booyah:

booyah: taako

bear-old: fucking fantasy CHRIST

(they have quite a few girls’ nights eating shitty chocolate and razzing on taako, actually)

team sweet flips goes to the director’s office one day to give a status report and find her red-eyed and coughing. she says she has allergies. the cute cat video barry just texted her on her stone, however, begs to differ

lucretia preps the boys for refuge, yes, but her mind is filled with texts and tomes and the letters “l u p” carved into a bureau wall. she passes countless sleepless nights with barry on the line, trying to decipher what it all means

but they emerge from the woven gulch unscathed, and that can only mean one thing: wonderland

she doesn’t tell barry where she’s sending them. she can’t let him interfere out of some misguided attempt to save her from the place. her texts grow few and far between

she doesn’t have to tell barry. he knows

the day they get sent out, as lucretia breaks down in her office, surrounded by a dizzying vastness that could envelop her very being if she would just let it, her stone buzzes.

four words: I’ll keep them safe

and then?

well, then it’s the end of the world

(but when lup emerges from her decade-long cage, phantasmal and resplendent, lucretia and barry share a look)

(and when the hunger is consuming the only home she knows and she’s flying out in one last attempt to face is, barry is on her stone)

(and when the dust settles and they’re finally, finally free, when the world hears a story and a song and former and current bureau employees alike learn just how important the mysterious “bj” really is, when lucretia looks at the wreckage of her life’s work and home and family — when all that happens, barry is the one to beckon to her with open arms.)

(they’ve been beside the other for a hundred and ten years, after all. that’s not gonna fucking change now.)

anyways yeah folks barry and lucretia texting au play with me in this space

@littlemisscritical @thatcoldfeeling and you know what? @herbgerblin what the hell

[softyoongiionly]

🌸just let me adore u🌸

Yoongi has a new kink and, that kink is love.

(set in the fear and dumplings universe because IM SO SOFT FOR YOONGI TODAY OH MY GOD)

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

A/N: I am...a mess. i love yoongi so much, that is all. 

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: smut, language, LOVE!!!!!!!!!! SO MUCH LOVE!!!!

The next morning, you awoke to the sound of rain against the windows of the car. The sound is calming and accompanied by the familiar hum of morning traffic. You feel a sense of peace as you snuggle further into the warm body underneath you. The events that had transpired the night before played over and over as you tried to contain the sleepy smile that teased your lips. Yoongi’s profession, his hands, his throat, the way he spoke to you: it was everything you could have ever wanted. There was a serious urge to pinch yourself to make sure you weren’t dreaming but, you decided against it when you realize that you and Yoongi had fallen asleep in the same position you two had fucked in. Your dress still lay on the floor of Yoongi’s back seat and his button up was still hanging haphazardly off of his body. You bit your lip as you took in the sight of Yoongi’s neck which was decorated with at least 5 purple bite marks from your frantic mouth. The color suited his throat entirely too well and, you had to resist the urge to suck more of his tender skin into your mouth. You knew that Yoongi definitely had a few pent up kinks that much was clear but, you weren’t sure if he would appreciate a hicky as a wakeup call.  

Sound familiar?

Of course it does.

You did this a few weeks ago only…

This time…

This time, you were in love.

“Are you awake?” Yoongi’s gentle voice pulls you out of your daydream as you slowly untuck your face from his neck.   Yoongi’s sporting a bemused expression, his eyes filled with genuine adoration, his pretty lips curved up into a small smile, “There she is…good morning.”

There isn’t anything else to do but, kiss him at this point because; he looks so adorable you want to die.

Soft kisses are placed into his smiling mouth, your hands bracing themselves against his cheeks causing him to giggle into your lips.

“Good morning my beautiful…” kiss “beautiful” kiss “beautiful” kiss “boyfriend.”

Yoongi’s hands secure themselves onto your waist, pulling you closer to him, relishing in your attention, feeling like a kid on Christmas.

“You still want to be my girlfriend I see…” He remarks playfully but, you know there is some seriousness in his question.

It is Yoongi after all.

Incredulously, you pull away from his lips, “Still? What do you think I slept on it and, then woke up and, was like ‘hmm actually I hate that guy’ lemme dip out really quick?”

Yoongi chuckles, but there is softness glued to his features, “I don’t know…I thought maybe my skills between your thighs had you feeling some type of way…”

Heat rushes to your cheeks as you literally feel the sensation of Yoongi’s tongue echoing against your core from the previous night.

He had a point…

“I could say the same for you, you know. You professed your love to me while you were inside of me soooo…”

You nudge his nose, giggling as his hands move to pinch your sides.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about…” He mumbles against your lips, smirking slightly before leaning in to kiss you again. “Also, why didn’t you tell me you knew some Korean hm? I was trying to be slick…”

God, he sounded hot in the morning…

“Yoongi you said Saranghae…that is like the first phrase anyone learns in Korean.” You laugh, pecking against his lips, “I got a few other words too, although the fact that I don’t know everything you said to me is slowly eating me alive so, thanks for that.”

He chuckles warmly, leaning back against the backseat of his car, “You’re welcome. I gotta have some sort of advantage...now that my secret is out.”

His attitude tickles you, as it’s a part of Yoongi’s charm but, it’s also one of his coping mechanisms.

But, he’s working on his sincerity and, so are you.

So, this morning, underneath the sound of the rain, you decide that you’re going to let him have it…

“I really am so in love with you…” You whisper, softening your gaze, thumbing across his cheek, “When I heard you say it…I…” A deep breath is pulled through your nose as the stinging of tears threatens the corners of your eyes, “I felt like I was dreaming. I couldn’t believe I was lucky enough to have someone like you fall in love with me.”

Try as you might, the tears win the battle and spill over your bottom lashes.

Yoongi feels his heart constricting in his chest as his hands quickly pull you against him, his lips finding the side of your face.

“You’re going to make me cry, stop…” He chuckles but, there is instability in his voice as he cuddles you closer, “How could I not fall in love with you hm? You didn’t give me much of a choice.”

A shaky chuckle leaves your lips as you wrap your arms around him, feeling soft and small in his grip, something that is usually foreign to you.

“So, you’re saying this was by force then?” You tease, tucking your face into his neck.

With another kiss to your cheek, Yoongi pulls you out of his neck, cradling your face between his hands. His eyes are glossy and, you know he’s doing everything in his power to hold back the tears.

“I’m saying…” He smirks, his pinky tracing underneath your right eye, “…when someone so beautiful…” He kiss your lips, “So kind” another kiss, “and so, fucking brilliant.” One more kiss and, then he pulls back to look at you, “gives you the time of day, you have no choice but to fall in love with them.” Yoongi chuckles almost incredulously, kissing you again before whispering, “…falling in love with you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

And, once again, there really isn’t another choice is there?

You gotta kiss him, for the hundredth time.

And you do, for a few moments the two of you grin and, indulge in one another like the lovesick fools that you are.

While you’d like to have another repeat of last night, Yoongi isn’t content with fucking you in his car again.

He wants you back home in the comfort of his bed, where he has the room to love on you like he wants to.

And, he lets you know as soon as you start pressing your hips against him.

“As much as I want you to fuck me, we don’t have the space for what I want you to do to me…” He croons into your ear causing you to groan in frustration.

“Noooo…” You protest, wiggling in his grip, eliciting a rickety chuckle from his throat, “tell me what you’re saying…no more secrets.”

Yoongi’s laughter continues, kissing all over your face in an attempt to lessen your pouting, “Come back to my place with me, I wanna make my girlfriend breakfast” He smiles as your expression seems to soften before placing a kiss against your ear, “and then, if you want, we can go to my room and, take care of eachother.”

Well, that made your panties wet.

‘Take care of each other’ is probably the sweetest way to describe sexual activity but, the way Yoongi’s raspy voice murmurs it in your ear, makes it sound like a dirty secret.

Like it’s something just for the two of you.

It feels like that sometimes…

“We can do it all day if you want to.” He whispers again, nibbling on your earlobe and, if you’re panties were wet before, they feel as though they are drenched now.

---------------

After resisting the urge to beg Yoongi to fuck you in the backseat, the two of you drive back to his place.

According to him, Hoseok and Namjoon are probably upstairs sleeping off a hangover due to their presence at a frat party the night before.

Yoongi makes you breakfast; bacon, eggs, toast and, a big bowl of fresh fruit you help cut up while he was frying the bacon. The two of you ate at the dining room table, speaking between bites of food about the ending of the semester, Jimin’s showcase and, everything in between.

Breakfast moves along comfortably but, Yoongi’s been watching the way your lips form around your words, the way they close around a morsel of food. He’s been watching the way your eyes light up as you talk, the way they sparkle with enthusiasm as you speak to him.

Fuck, he’s never been more enamored with another person.

He doesn’t really care how well he eats or how well he scrubs the bottom of the pan, right now, all he wants is you.

“I’m cold…”He mumbles into your hair as he arms secure themselves around your waist, his voice slightly smaller than before , “are you almost done?”

You giggle, setting down the dish your currently drying to cuddle back against him, “Yes, do you need me for something?”

He grumbles, tugging you further away from the sink, tucking his face into your neck, “It’s time for beeeedddd…”

This causes your laughter to increase because, despite the sun being hidden behind a few clouds, it’s clearly 10am.

“We literally just had breakfast.” You point out, stumbling as he continues pulling you towards the bedroom.

He chuckles shamelessly, tugging you through the doorway of his room, “Its. Time. For. Bed.”

Yoongi sounds slightly childish and, its warming your heart from the inside out. You’ve never seen him so playful before, so carefree…

“Can I at least have something to change into then? Since I never have a chance to pack before coming over to your house.” You giggle as he detaches himself from you, rushing over to his dresser before tugging out a mass of black material and, tossing it towards you.

“Here…” He mutters, smirking fondly at your failed attempt to catch it, “How did you manage to miss that?”

“Shut up…” You giggle, pulling off your dress and, slipping the soft t-shirt over your body.

Not more than thirty seconds later, you’re sitting on Yoongi’s lap, placing sweet and messy kisses against his lips.

And, he’s smiling into yours all the while, his hands exploring the curves of your body.

He’s throbbing and hard beneath you but, there’s no need to rush, you’ll be on him soon enough.

“I can’t believe you’re actually my girlfriend…” He whispers, beaming, nuzzling his nose against yours.

He’s being so sweet, caressing your skin, sucking gently on your lip, taking the time to play with your hair, he’s all over you.

“I can’t believe you’re actually my boyfriend, I used to think you hated me...” You giggle and, this causes his own giggle to show itself as his lips find the tender spot on your neck.

“I’ve adored you for so long though, I just never let you see it. Cause I didn’t think you’d want me.” He confesses, feeling safe enough to disclose his doubts, cause he knows you get it.

You always do.

“Well I do.” You smile, kissing the side of his head and, his breath picks up slightly when he feels you press your core against him, “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. I don’t think I’ll ever want anyone else this way…”

He’s inside of you moments later, slowly unraveling you from within but, the two of you take your time with eachother, not rushing the end, not wanting the end.

Yoongi pulls away from your neck, his dark eyes locking with yours as he guides your hips on his dick, “It feels so good…how does it feel so good everytime jagi?” He doesn’t break your gaze but, he looks desperate for an answer, he looks so in love, you feel yourself getting choked up.

“Cause you deserve it…” The reply is whispered against his lips and, even through the haziness of his pleasure, you make him smile.

“Yeah? You think so?” His voice is growing reedier when your hips pick up their pace on him, his whole body becoming infected with pleasure, “fuck please don’t keep doing that, please…don’t stop.”

How could you?

How could you stop when everything feels so good, when your beautiful boyfriend is pleading into your neck.

“Are you going to cum for me beautiful?” You whisper into his ear, causing a shiver to wrack through his body, “Are you gonna cum inside for me? Show me how much you love me?”

“Mhm…” He whimpers, his hips moving with more urgency whilst his heart thrashes in his chest, “You love me too right?”

He’s checking because, he still can’t believe it’s a yes but, also because the phrase coming from your lips ruins him, because he knows if you say it…he’s done for.

With your hands sliding up his back, you kiss all over the side of his face, your own orgasm careening towards you, “I love you so much Yoongi…is that what you want to hear baby? Does hearing your girlfriend say she loves you make you wanna cum?”

You’re driving him crazy.

He pulls his face from your neck, his eyes wild with desire and desperation as they lock onto yours, “Please say it again, please oh my god…it makes it so good….so good, baby please tell me you love me again…”

“I love you…” You smirk as he fucks into you even harder, his face smoothing out in complete and utter pleasure, “I love you, do you hear me Yoongi? I love you so much…”

“Again…again please…please baby…I’m so close, I’m gonna cum so hard for you,” He’s lost it again, he’s drowning but, he doesn’t care.

He doesn’t care how desperate he sounds, he wants to hear it a thousand times.

“Look at me, focus right here…” You coo to him, attempting to reign in his scattered gaze, your hands coming up to hold his cheeks, “I love you Min Yoongi, I’m so in love with you and, I wanna see you cum for me…because I love you, I love you I love you I love you.”

Yoongi lets go, cumming hard enough to blur he’s vision but, what else is new?

You follow suit, trying to wonder what you did to deserve the precious man currently snuggling into your neck, professing his love over and over into your skin.

This time, he doesn’t stop as things settle down. He pulls you into his arms upon laying down against the warmth of his duvet.

As he holds you, he kisses your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, your lips, your fingers…

Any part of you he can reach, all whilst saying those three little words over and over again.

“When we were on the Ferris wheel, I told you us getting together would be a bad idea…” Yoongi’s voice is hoarse with emotion as he touches you, long fingers tucking your hair behind your ear, “and I need you to know that it wasn’t because I didn’t want you. It was because; I already wanted you so bad. I’ve spent my whole life denying my emotions because, it made things easier for me. The rejections, the self-doubt, the insecurities…everything. But you’ve shown me that I was wrong. Denying my feelings has never helped me, it’s only led me farther from the things I want and, I know that because as soon as I let myself feel again, as soon as I opened my heart…I got you.”

Tears spill over your eyes and, silently, Yoongi kisses each one away, smiling delicately at you.

“I would never hurt you…”

Is all you can manage because, anything else would lead to you sobbing in his arms.

Yoongi’s smile brightens as he nods, “I know and, that’s why my heart is yours now...”

With a sniffle, you kiss him again, long and hard, holding him tightly before whispering, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[senacal]

Dr. Charles Xavier (Pt. 2)

Request: Requested by @saltysebastianstan​

Pairing: Charles Xavier x Fem!Reader

Prompt: Continuation of this post. (Part 1 , Part 3)

Warnings: Drinking, cursing

Abbreviations: Your Name- (Y/N); Friend’s Name- (F/N); University of your choice- (U/N)

Author’s Note: Thank you guys so much for the love on the first part! It was so much more than I had anticipated. I hope you love this part just as much and thank you to @saltysebastianstan​ for helping me expand it so it wouldn’t be so short Xx.

(Gif Not Mine)

While (Y/N) had attended the lecture hosted by Dr. Xavier, she couldn’t wrap her head around her interaction with the man. He wasn’t rude by any means, which had relieved her, but he seemed rather forward compared to the professional persona she was used to seeing. ‘Beautiful face to match the beautiful voice,’ It wasn’t completely off-putting, but it wasn’t seductive either. She wouldn’t doubt that he used lines like that to pick up women wherever he went. But enough about that, (Y/N) had to force him from her mind during her classes so she could concentrate. It worked for the most part, but he was still lingering in the back of her mind. 

After a long day of classes and Dr. Xavier’s lecture, (Y/N) was now exhausted. Unfortunately, she couldn’t go back to her dorm room like she desperately wanted. Instead, her best friend, (F/N), dragged her to a party. (Y/N) could have easily stayed home to work on her thesis, or watch some TV instead of attending. She had a successful day, so she deserved to rest at home. Too bad her friend thought that it would be better for her to socialize at some wild party. 

While (Y/N) wasn’t opposed to parties, she’s been to quite a few since attending (U/N). There were days she’d rather stay in bed, like tonight. So here she was, standing alone in the corner of the living room of one of the many frats that frequented her university. (F/N) had wandered off to find the restroom an hour ago, so there was a likely chance (Y/N) wouldn’t see her again that night. Of course, that meant she could probably leave without being hassled by her friend. 

(Y/N) finished the drink in her hand and left her spot to dispose of the cup. All because she was at a party where no one cared about cleanliness, didn’t mean she would add to the chaos. Who knows, maybe she’ll run into (F/N) on the way to the garbage and let her know that she wanted to leave. 

(Y/N) pushed her way through the crowd that was blocking the kitchen. One more reason for her to avoid parties, the crowds were a little much for her. She hated being caught in the masses of people so she tried to avoid crowds at any cost. There were shouts of praises and cheering nearby that led (Y/N) to assume someone was doing something idiotic. That was a frat party for you, though. 

“Excuse me” (Y/N) mumbled under her breath every so often.

“(Y/N)! There you are” (F/N) grabbed her wrist and pulled her close, “here, I grabbed you another drink.”

“I didn’t want another drink.” With (F/N)’s attention drawn elsewhere, (Y/N)’s protests fell on deaf ears. (Y/N) begrudgingly accepted the new cup and put her empty one under it. 

“You have to see this! It’s possibly the most impressive thing I’ve seen at one of these keggers,” (F/N) pointed at a man drinking beer from a “yard of ale” without breaking off to take a breath. 

“I’m afraid at what you’d say about people drinking from funnels in the kitchen if you find that impressive,” (Y/N) laughed. 

“You can’t tell me that that isn’t amazing,” (F/N) cheered when the man finished the beer.

He whooped loudly, turning in a half-circle.

“Oh my god, That’s Dr. Xavier,” (Y/N) said in disbelief. What the hell was he doing there?

“You mean that one guy you were telling me about? That mutation professor?” (F/N) asked baffled. 

“Yeah, him,” (Y/N) turned around so he wouldn’t see her. She couldn’t say why, but she didn’t want him to see her. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he flirted with her. Or it’s because she actually kind of liked it. Whatever the case, (Y/N) wasn’t ready to see him just yet. 

“Hey! You’re that girl!” A blonde exclaimed from in front of her.

“I’m sorry?” (Y/N) furrowed her brows. Had she met this girl before?

“Yeah, the one that saved Charles from the conversation about Paris. I’m Raven! We didn’t get the chance to meet because you had already run off,” Raven held her hand out to (Y/N) with a bright smile.

“Oh, uh, I had a class to get ready for…” (Y/N) glanced at her friend, but (F/N) was busy talking to some guy near them. “Are you a friend of Dr. Xavier’s?” She slowly shook Raven’s hand.

“Practically his sister actually,” Raven shrugged, “don’t hold it against me though,” Raven rolled her eyes but laughed. It was clear they were close from the way she spoke about him.

“Raven, who’s your- oh, hello again, Ms. (Y/N), fancy seeing you here,” Charles smiled.

“Right, fancy seeing me, a college student here at (U/N) attending one of the frat parties” (Y/N) raised her brows, “I’m just as surprised to see you here, Professor.”

“Please, call me Charles. I see no reason to hold formalities when we’re at a party,” Charles fiddled with the yard of ale in his hands.

“Right, um,” (Y/N) looked back at her friend and in a desperate attempt to keep the conversation off herself, she yanked her to her side, “This is my friend, I’m sure you’ll both get along just fine. In the meantime, I’m gonna go get another drink,” (Y/N) excused herself as quickly as possible. It didn’t escape anyone’s attention that she still had a full cup of beer. 

(F/N) looked at her friend in confusion, “Sorry about her, I’m (F/N).”

“Charles Xavier,” Charles smiled politely, though he felt disappointed once more now that (Y/N) had made her escape, “I’m going to see if she needs any help.” He handed Raven the yard of ale and followed (Y/N) into the masses.

“(Y/N), excuse me,” Charles apologized to someone, he wasn’t sure who, that he had bumped. “(Y/N), Can we talk?”

(Y/N) sighed heavily and stopped her hasty retreat. She spun around and looked at Charles in question. 

“I know you said you aren’t interested in anything more than the knowledge I have about mutation. But I have a proposal of sorts,” Charles pulled out a crumpled napkin and pen from his pants pocket, “You may call me with any questions you have, and I’ll answer them all. I promise.” He wrote his number down and held the napkin out to her.

“Why? What’s in it for you?” (Y/N) frowned slightly. She took the wrinkled napkin Charles held out to her.

“The pleasure of your company and the mere fact that I’ll be assisting you with your work,” Charles ran his hand through his hair. What he wanted was to see (Y/N) again, but he doubted she’d take to kindly to that; so, he kept that to himself instead. 

“You don’t know anything about my work. What if I were a psycho who wanted to use this knowledge for evil? What if I was lying about knowing anything, and this was all a ruse to take advantage of you?”

“I know none of that is true because someone so invested and passionate like you wouldn’t use this information to harm anyone. I believe I can trust you, I allowed you to see who I was, didn’t I? Let me help you.” Charles spoke just loud enough to hear over the music and chatter of the people around them.

(Y/N) looked around them, she’d be an idiot to turn down his offer. He was the expert on mutants and mutations. He was her ticket to learning more and achieving her goals. Who could it hurt? It wasn’t like (Y/N) had any other opportunities lined up. Plus, it was strictly business. Charles had said so, and why shouldn’t she believe him. He trusted her enough to disclose that he was a mutant to her. The least she could do was take him on his word.

“Okay, fine. I’ll call you with any questions I have. But this is only because I want to learn more and because I trust you to keep this professional, okay?”

Charles nodded and held his hand out, “It’s a deal, then.”

(Y/N) grasped his firm yet soft hand in hers, “It’s a deal.” 

“Wonderful, now that we’ve got that settled, let’s get you that drink,” Charles smiled satisfied and easily maneuvered them around the drunken crowd.

(Y/N) couldn’t help but think that he might have used his telepathy to move them out of the way. “I actually didn’t want another drink, I was kinda trying to avoid you,” She mumbled sheepishly.

“I know, love. It was clear as day, but I forgive you,” Charles looked back at her and winked.

“But we’re still getting drinks,” (Y/N) stated.

“Of course, we’re at a party after all. Might as well enjoy ourselves, right?” Charles held his hand out to (Y/N). 

“Why are you?” She reached for his hand confused.

“Your cup, love,” He laughed.

“Oh, right,” (Y/N) flushed in embarrassment and shoved her now half-empty cup into his awaiting hand. I can’t believe I almost did that.

“There you go,” Charles handed the cup to her and then filled one for himself. “Right, let’s go find your friend and Raven. Knowing Raven, she’s likely stirring up some trouble.”

“If she’s anything like my friend, then they’re probably already in trouble,” (Y/N) couldn’t even imagine the possible mischief her friend could have caused. (Y/N) was usually reserved in herself but her friend always managed to convince her to do something crazy every once in a while. She remembered a time when she went to the bars with her friend, and in the end, (Y/N) had gotten too drunk that she got lost trying to find her way home. Thankfully her friend was more functional than she was and in the end (Y/N) crashed at her place. But she promised herself not to drink that much ever again.

“There they are,” Charles pointed to their two friends, who were invested in a game of beer pong.

“Okay, not as bad as I thought,” (Y/N) sipped at the beer in her hand.

“Would you like to play?” Charles offered. He wanted to see if she’d allow herself to relax in his presence, maybe they could be friends at the very least.

“Uh,” (Y/N) hesitated, “sure, why not?” She shrugged. Like Charles had said, they were at a party, why not enjoy themselves?

Raven and (F/N) had won the last game with two cups left on their end. Raven was clearly excited and (F/N) was looking pretty cocky. (F/N) wasn’t expecting for (Y/N) to join the game least of all with Charles. 

“You sure you wanna play?” She asked cautiously.

“Yeah, how hard can it be?” (Y/N) shrugged.

“Alright,” (F/N) filled the cups with beer and set them up in their triangle formation, “I’ll let you go first then.”

(Y/N) picked up the ping pong ball closest to her and aimed. A little well-known fact about her, she had a horrible aim. It was almost sad seeing her play beer pong but Charles hadn’t made any snide comment about her inability to make a single shot. He even offered to drink the beer for her when it was noticeably affecting her. (Y/N) found herself leaning on him now that she knew she could depend on him, at least for now. Any other time she’d have been as stiff as a board.

In her inebriated state, (Y/N) couldn’t see why she had rejected Charles. He was handsome, extremely handsome. His smile was infectious and his hair looked so fluffy. She kind of wanted to touch it. Hell, what was holding her back? She reached her hand up and pat the fluffiest part she could easily reach. ‘It’s so soft.’

Charles looked over at her, an amused smile gracing his features, “Can I help you?”

“Your hair is soft,” (Y/N) murmured. She pulled her hand away and finished off the rest of her beer. “I think I want another,” She shuffled slightly, her balance thrown off for just a moment.

Charles moved to steady her, his brows raised, “You sure?”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, “Yes, Charles.” She waved him off and made her way back to the kitchen.

“I guess that’s game, I’m gonna go check on her,” (F/N) grabbed her cup in an attempt to chase after her friend.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got her,” Charles assured. Before (F/N) could respond, Charles was already going after (Y/N). He found her in the kitchen trying to figure out the tap on the keg. “Here, let me help you,” Charles swooped in beside her and poured her a small amount of beer in his attempt to limit her drink now that she was tipsy.

“Thank you,” (Y/N) drank the beer in one go, making a face at the end, “I’ve never realized how disgusting this stuff is until today.”

Charles laughed, “Yes, it’s honestly pretty disgusting, but it’s also not that bad.”

“Says you,” She threw her cup on top of the overflowing trash can. “I think I’m ready to go home now.” 

“Did you want me to get your friend, then?” Charles looked up in search of her.

“Nah, She’ll want to stay a little longer,” (Y/N) waved her hand in dismissal. “I can find my way home.”

“I’ll take you home, it’s probably best that you don’t go walking home alone at night,” Charles held his hand up to his temple, his expression turning to one of pure concentration. His brows were furrowed and his eyes looked stern. 

(Y/N) raised her brows, wondering what he could have been doing. “You okay?”

Charles’s eyes shifted to her, “hmm? Oh, yes,” He chuckled, “I was just letting Raven know that we were leaving.”

“Oh, right. The whole telepathy thing,” She nodded, “Okay, let’s go then.”

Charles guided her through the throngs of people until they were safely outside. The cool air was a welcome embrace compared to the humidity from the party. He ran his fingers through his hair and then across his forehead, wiping the excess sweat away. 

“So, where is it that you live?” He asked.

“Like two blocks down. I live in the dorms,” She started her trek home, not waiting for Charles. She could take care of herself. Or so she thought. It was clear that her balance was off because she kept swerving into the bushes next to her.

Charles guided her away from them in case she were to accidentally scratch herself on the twigs or thorns, he didn’t know what type of bushes they were exactly, but he knew he didn’t want her to get hurt by them. “Easy there,” Charles murmured.

(Y/N) grumbled something about being able to walk without his help, but in the end, she was leaning on him, allowing him to hold her close as they walked to her dorms. It was quiet now that they were a good distance away from the party, the sound of crickets and the breeze blowing through the trees the only noise surrounding them. (Y/N) found herself enjoying the proximity of Charles and the peacefulness of the night. 

“Charles?” She asked softly.

“Yes, (Y/N)?” 

“Thank you for taking me home,” She patted the arm that was holding her. 

“It’s no problem, really,” He smiled slightly.

“Well, here’s my dorm,” (Y/N) straightened up and pulled away from Charles’s arms, “Thanks, again.”

Charles nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets, “You’re welcome, I’ll see you around I guess.” 

(Y/N) nodded and bit her lip, she wondered if she should offer to hang out again. She had fun tonight despite wanting to go home from the start of the party. Charles made the party bearable to her, “Charles, are you free tomorrow?”

“I suppose so, I hadn’t planned on doing anything. Why?” His heart skipped a beat in anticipation. 

Okay, good response, now all she had to do was ask, “Can we meet up to talk about my thesis?” Fuck, that’s not what she wanted to say damn it.

“Oh, of course. We can meet at the library or something,” Charles seemed to deflate where he stood. How could he forget their arrangement was strictly professional?

“Right, uh, the coffee shop is probably best,” (Y/N) smiled, “I’ll see you at twelve.” She waved to him sheepishly and made a hasty retreat into her dorm building. 

Charles watched her retreating figure, ensuring that she got inside safely. He sighed and kicked at the ground. Professional, he could be professional.

______________________________________________________________________

Taglist: @dankpogue​ @theatreandtessa​ @peachykeen3502​ @food-cures-all​ @commissioner23​

Message me if you’d like to be added to the taglist ^.^

[solaneceae]

Stars

Dave wakes up in the jungle. AU where Mateo got out of the plane with the other two, because frick u QCODE my boy deserves better than this and i will NOT accept he’s dead until i see a body-

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21035054/chapters/50876287

---------------

A comforting warmth surrounding him. Something soft cushioning his oh-so heavy body. An earthy, grassy scent filling up his nostrils.

Dave blinked into awareness slowly, like he was being dragged out of a quagmire. He was greeted with mostly darkness, though he could start to make out a mess of intertwined wood and large, glossy leaves above him. He was laying on his back on a mass of long, lush grass, his face and fingertips tingling with lingering sleep, in the very same position he’d fallen asleep the previous… evening?

For a second he felt disoriented, a jolt of panic making his breath hitch; but then he remembered.

They had made it. All three of them. They’d finally found the Whale, and those strange tribesmen, the Morandi.

For now at least, they were safe.

“Dave? Holy shit, you’re awake!”

Dave rolled his head to the side; Mateo was sitting next to him, his back propped against one of the support beams of the shelter. He felt his heart swell at the sight; Mateo was here. He wasn’t alone.

He noticed his friend’s arm had been dressed in clean, off-white bandages, reminding the smaller man of the dozen or so cuts he’d caught sight of back on the boat, and he was hit with a rush of pride and admiration -and only the slightest pang of guilt and worry- for his long-time partner; god, Mateo really had gone above and beyond to fly them all the way here. The tall male definitely looked better than he had back then, which Dave was grateful for.

He rubbed his eyes, trying to clear out his vision; ew, crusty. “ ‘teo… where’s Linda?”

“She’s fine, woke up a lil’ while ago. Went to talk to the old man, try to get some more answers out of him. How you feelin’?

Dave considered the question silently, assessing his current state. “Mmh. Sluggish. Like my body’s made of lead. And… kinda loopy. What time is it?”

“Dunno. Late. Early. My phone and watch died back in the plane.”

Mateo looked up; as he followed his friend’s gaze, Dave noticed an opening in the roof of the shelter, letting in pale rays of moonlight. The night sky was a pitch black, an inky darkness home to hundreds and hundreds of stars. They ranged from pale yellow to bluish white, shining bright and strong and unperturbed by any light pollution; a far cry from the California sky the night guard was so accustomed to.

“ ‘bout one or two in the morning maybe?” Mateo mused aloud, stirring him out of his reverie. Dave sighed; the sun had been setting when they’d conked out. “Shit. No wonder I’m still tired.”

“Dude. It’s Sunday. We slept through last night and the whole day after that.”

Dave’s eyes widened in shock.“Wh- What? We’ve been asleep for more than a day? How?!”

“After three days without any shut-eye it ain’t that surprisin’ to me,” Mateo shrugged. “Also Linda said somethin’ about the meds we took messing with our brain or some shit?”

Dave groaned, trying to pull himself up into a sitting position; but he was struck by a sudden dizziness and his trembling arms buckled under his own weight.

“Wow, hey!” Mateo caught him before his back could hit the ground, gently supporting his head to lay it down in his own lap. “Don’t move too fast. You haven’t eaten anything since we left California, if you try and get up you’re just gonna pass out again.”

Ah. That would explain the slight nausea and steady rocking of the ground under him. The former night guard breathed in slowly, letting the sudden discomfort fade before gratefully peering up at Mateo. “Sorry…were you waiting for me?”

“Duh. Gotta watch over our local dream warrior, right?”

Dave groaned at that, hiding his face in his hands. “Oh my god, don’t.”

“What? It’s true, isn’t it? Those guys over there,” the latino gestured at the other side of the clearing, where a few tribesmen were conversing quietly, “said they’d been waiting for you. Specifically you, Dave. I mean shit, there’s obviously something going on with you.”

“No there isn’t! Why the fuck would it?”

“Oh, I can think of a few reasons. You survived after falling asleep, twice.”

“You woke me up the first time-”

“You,” Mateo continued, all but ignoring Dave’s protests, “had scars all over your chest, and now they’re gone. That’s not a thing that happens, scars don’t just magic out of existence.” He waved his hands around in bewilderment. “And to top it all off you went all oracle on us, right before this shitshow went down. You told us about the whale, you told us where we needed to go!”

Dave shook his head in denial. His hair rubbed against the fabric of Mateo’s pant leg. “Wasn’t me. The old man did it. Robbie was the one who came into my dreams. I would’ve-”

His breath hitched. He remembered the torture he went through in that desert. The thirst. The despair. The insanity. “I- I would’ve died like everyone else if he hadn’t come.”

Mateo sighed. “Maybe. But he came to you, Dave. Out of the millions of people who’d been asleep at the time, you were the only one who saw him.”

A second of silence. Dave slid his hands down his face, peering up at his friend with confusion. “How do you know this?”

“Robbie told us. Me and Linda.” Mateo said, looking down at him with a curious look on his face. It looked suspiciously like awe.

Dave hated that look. It made him feel like the world was pressing down on his ribcage.

“He said… something about reaching out. Spreading the warning to the world.” Mateo continued, unaware of his partner’s inner turmoil. “Nobody outside the tribe responded, Dave. Except you.”

He let Mateo’s words sink in for a few seconds, his face twisting into a sorrowful grimace. The implications of those words were far too daunting, too terrifying to consider. He didn’t want this. He never wanted this. He didn’t need supernatural bullshit sprinkled on top of the already massive pile of issues that was his life.

“Listen…” he breathed out, his baritone on the verge of breaking, “I… I know, okay? I’m not an idiot. I know I’m… involved in this mess, for some fucking reason.”

He grabbed Mateo’s sleeve, something desperate flickering in his warm brown eyes. “I know I’m probably about to- to learn some stuff here. About myself. And that shit… that shit’s terrifying. So…”

Mateo stayed silent, attentive. Dave was grateful for that.

“So…” he took a deep breath. “Can we hold off on that? Can I just be a normal dude for just a little longer? Just Dave, local insomniac and night guard at DeckSalont. That’s me. Just your friend. Please?”

For a few seconds, only the sound of the wind blowing through the jungle answered him. Then Mateo rolled his eyes with a huff.

“Okay. Okay, Davie. I gotcha.” the latino relented, gently patting the smaller man’s hair draped on his thigh. “Linda and the old guy should come back soon anyway. They’ll be glad to see you’re up, they were getting worried.

“What about you?”

“What?”

“How are you taking all this? This whole time you and Linda have been worrying about me, but what about you?

Mateo blinked, then snorted humorlessly. “Man, I don’t even know anymore.” He shook his head, eyes clouding over in confusion. “Everything feels so… unreal. I guess it didn’t really sink in yet.”

Dave felt a pang of sympathy for his friend; he remembered the latino’s worried glances at his phone back in Cali. His dismissive attitude when Dave had asked about his family.

Everyone’s dead, Dave thought to himself, testing out the concept in his mind. Everyone’s dead. How could the human mind comprehend this without breaking? Were they even capable of truly comprehending that the three of them, save for the strange tribe that had taken them in, were probably the last living people on Earth?

“Mateo… I’m so sorry.” he said quietly, peering up at the taller male. Mateo Leon, veteran, pilot, and god damn hero for flying them all the way here. His best friend, and partner.

Dave’s chest seized; he was starting to understand how precious he and Linda were to him. Without them, he’d be completely and utterly alone, even among the tribesmen scattered in the jungle.

Mateo waved him off. “Don’t be. We all lost a lot these past few days, if not everything.” He chuckled, rubbing his face in his hands. “S’all too fucked up, we're too fucked up at this point.”

Linda’s face came to the forefront of Dave’s mind. Her striking green eyes, the way her nose would scrunch up whenever she was annoyed. Her airy laughter. Her blinding smile.

He shook his head, biting back a mournful sigh. “I know. Still, you’re my friend, I care about you. I- fuck man, I don’t wanna lose you too.”

“You won’t!” Mateo asserted, flashing him a cocky smile. “You won’t, y’hear me? I’m a vet, I can deal with some tough shit. Those spirit things? Let ‘em come at us, I’ll fuck ‘em up.”

Dave blinked, taken aback by the sudden mood whiplash. Then let out a chuckle, almost immediately followed by a yawn. Jesus, he still felt drowsy. How was he still drowsy?

“Dude, are you serious. Wasn’t a whole day enough?” his partner asked him incredulously.

Dave shifted into a more comfortable position, the edge of his vision blurring and darkening every second that passed. “Just…” he mumbled, “You’re fuckin’ comfy, okay? Anyone ever told you that?”

Mateo let out a fake, overdramatic sigh. “Fine then, you lazy fuck. Ya can snooze a lil’ bit more. But I’m waking you up when the others come back, got it? Linda said she’d change our bandages, and you need some food in you. Like, badly.”

Dave hummed noncommittally, eyelids already drooping close. He let out a relieved sigh as he curled up against his friend, relishing in the warm feeling of Mateo’s thigh under his head and his hand on his shoulder. “Mh. Thanks, buddy.” he murmured drowsily, before letting sleep overtake him once more.

Just a little longer. Let things be normal again. For just a little longer.

-------

thanks @believeinasmilinggodtoday for the prompt! i kinda deviated from it, but it helped me get it out :D @caustic-synishade @teosbc @thepurple-n @shrinkthisviolet @mother-dweller

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Ms. U was a Japanese UC member given a Korean husband who beat her

Hello, I will tell you about my experiences.

I was born in Japan in a village rich in nature. Due to the characteristics of the region, there were many dual-operated farmers and many average families. There were four in my family, including my parents and my grandmother. I grew up without any discomfort. I had a lot of friends and liked sports. After graduating from high school, I left my parents and entered a Christian college in 1984. While living in the college dormitory I spent my days devoted to my studies and circle activities [college clubs?]. However, there was a problem at a ‘retirement’ sports game in the fall of the second year, just before our job hunting activities began. For me, having learned through experience that the time and results of my efforts were in direct proportion, the problem at the game was like a disaster that suddenly hit me. It was my first frustration in my life. The other teammates continued as if nothing had happened, but I couldn’t forgive the person who caused the problem.

I read books and asked my seniors, but my heart was unsettled. I hated myself for worrying and not knowing what to do. Then I remembered the pamphlet I had received after I had answered a questionnaire which had been inserted in the student handbook. I made a phone call to what turned out to be a Video Center.(2) I started attending the Video Center and got a job. I was very impressed with lecturer Kurahara’s theory of the fall of man, and I felt something good was happening. After that, I got a job close to my home and went to work, so I had a chance to go out and dedicate my time [at the Video Center] in return. I wanted to commit myself more and more to their work.

I told my parents that I wanted to quit my job and do God’s work full time. For nine months I fought with them over the issue. Finally, my father brought a scythe like the ones used to cut trees. He held it against my neck, and yelled at me if I would go anyway, but my determination was not shaken. Even if my parents could not understand it then, I believed that the day would surely come [when they would understand], and I felt that I could not make the True Parents of Heaven and Earth (3) and God sad. My determination was further strengthened.

▲ Japanese Microbus MFT (Mobile Fundraising Team)

In 1986, I devoted myself full time and moved with the Evangelism Task Force Micro (4) for 21 weeks and with selling McCol drinks (5) for periods ranging from several months to several years. I rested only one day per month. I woke up early every morning to fulfill the church’s indemnity conditions (6) and spent the whole day working without rest. However, for the providence for the realization of heaven on earth, I had a sense of responsibility that if I did not do it and work with dedication, then who would do it – so I lived every day with burning passion. Sometimes I watched and heard my brothers and sisters fall by the wayside one by one. I also heard that they were like Adam or Eve who quit because of the pressure for donations issue, or that they were tempted and caught by the pastors who opposed the church, so I devoted myself to the faith even more, so that I would not lose the conditions that I had made to Satan.

▲ Magazine article about Hiroko Yamasaki at the 1992 mass marriage. She was a very famous Olympic gymnast.

Then, in 1992, after seven year of devotion, I participated in the mass marriage of 30,000 couples in Seoul, Korea. Hiroko Yamasaki and Junko Sakurada were in the same mass marriage. The Blessing is the most important thing in the doctrine of the Unification Church. [Through the ‘Blessing’ original sin is cleansed and children born are free from that sin. The fee which the Japanese members had to pay to participate in the ‘Blessing’ was $11,600. Koreans paid a small fraction of that fee.] I had long hoped for the Blessing and now it had been realized for me. My Jucheja (subject partner = groom / husband) (7) was the same age as me and was a self-employed man. I heard that his sister was in the 124 couple marriage Blessing [of 1963] (8) and she had made True Parents’ suits and had been invited by them to their home and had dinner with them. Then I thought it was fortunate that he was from a very religious family. After the marriage Blessing ceremony, I returned to Japan. Up to that time I had been doing financial activities to support the providence in Japan, but this time I worked part-time at a sports facility to earn living expenses such as expenses to go to and live in Korea. That job alone did not pay enough, so I asked for help from my family. About four years after my dedication to the church, my grandmother and my father had both died of illnesses and so my mother was left living alone. 

My mother was worried that it would be nice if my subject partner (husband) was Japanese, and that I would struggle because of my marriage. Whenever I came home, I heard a cry from under the blanket where she slept next to me. But my mother’s worries did not change me at all. She eventually gave up on her daughter who would not listen to anything she said, and even gave me money so that I could go to Korea six months after my Blessing with the last group going to Korea. 

In Korea, we gathered at a training center and spent several weeks until the area where we each would do ​​newspaper deliveries was decided. In addition, my subject partner (husband) came to visit and set a time to meet and greet his family. But the day I visited his parents, I was suddenly guided and escorted to the hospital. It was supposedly to check my back pain which I suffered from due to a car accident when I was working with the McCol business, but I was suddenly told to get a diagnosis and return to Japan.

I had just came to Korea with the money I earned from part-time jobs and some help I received from my mother, so I could not understand why I was forced to leave. I could not talk to a Korean leader because I could not speak Korean, but there was a spiritual counselor I could consult with, who was one of the 6,500 Korean-Japanese couples. The counselor advised me that the initial phase is so important that it is best to do as I am told, and that there is at least a half year of training period after becoming a housekeeper – so I returned to my home after three weeks [in Korea]. 

My mother was surprised to see me returning so suddenly, but she did not say anything to me, as if she saw something in my face. However, I had a sense of crisis that my Blessing might break if things went wrong, so I returned to my subject partner (husband) again a month later. There, we talked to each other while looking up the words in a dictionary. His conclusion was that the Unification Church’s doctrine was wrong, and he gave up the Unification Church faith and tried to undo the Blessing. He said he wanted to save as many people as possible, and tried to convince me to quit the Unification Church. Then he started explaining why its doctrine was wrong. I was very shocked.

For the first time, I felt a small crack in the faith that I had held firmly without any doubts. However, as I consulted with my spiritual parents [the people who introduced me to the church], I was given a new order to witness to my husband again after pretending to leave the Unification Church. What would my mother, who gave me money just because I asked, have felt when she saw me come back from Korea only to tell her that I would go to Chiba to meet my subject partner (husband)’s older brother and that my subject partner is coming back to me? I was only interested in my own faith and keeping the ‘Blessing’. I did not realize how troubled my mother was in her mind. 

Two months after I started living with my subject partner (husband), my mother took her own life. It was the time when my grandmother and father’s third year anniversary ceremonies ended and my mother could start living more comfortably. She had been exhausted from taking care of my grandmother and my father. She had been getting all the blame from relatives. I wanted to make my mother feel better by witnessing to her, but I did not know if that was wrong in itself, and, just like I lied to my subject partner that I had quit the Church, I should have lied to my mother to save her from committing suicide. I was overwhelmed with all sorts of feelings – the feeling that I was responsible for her death, the feeling that she had abandoned me, and many other emotions.

Most of all, the result of all my efforts for my faith by sacrificing everything was that I was in a miserable situation contrary to all my expectations. I could not even figure out what had really happened. As I greeted and spoke to my relatives after the 49-day ritual (9), they promised me that they would approve and accept my marriage if I left the Unification Church, and as long as I came back home and kept my parents’ rites – so I came home. My husband was initially all for the idea of me coming home with him, but he did not speak Japanese and became mentally unstable due to the closed atmosphere and discrimination in rural life. I tried a lot of different things and gave him encouragement to change his mood, but he started destroying everything.

He threw and broke trash cans, radios, chairs, TVs, and so on. And he also threw them at me. At first, he was breaking things once every few months, but as our child was born and it took more time for me to take care of our child, the intervals between his violence became less and and his actions worse. He also started to hit and kick me. Even so, I endured it all because from time to time he said he was sorry. But things continued and got worse. I left the house with my child after things became unbearable. At any rate, I wanted to go to the Unification Church and consult with my spiritual parents, so I went to a nearby church.

They told me to return to the Unification Church after breaking up with my husband, and I, who had been sacrificing everything to keep my Blessing, could not truly believe their advice. And I could not even go to church. After that, I thought it was because my faith was weak, so I kept consulting with my spiritual parents and reading homilies [discourses] on the Divine Principle without telling my husband. Over time the fights got worse and I was afraid to read any homilies. My second child was born while living for 5 or 6 more years as I persevered to keep my Blessing, even though I was told by my husband that I was a bad person and I had to change my habits first. The new baby was a boy, and my husband was also happy about that. He recommended that I go to a Christian church nearby, as if he wanted to renew our family by using this opportunity of the birth of our son to make a new start. 

I had been enduring up to that point, but going to a Christian church was a turning point in my life. When I told the new pastor that I was a Unification Church member, he said he would introduce me to a pastor who knew the Unification Church issue well. He was a so-called anti-pastor. Meeting the anti-pastor was so scary for me that it made my legs tremble. However, my mind and body were exhausted from the repeated fights and my fleeing home. The children were also anxious, so I wanted to hold onto anything. My husband was erratic at his job, and our village no longer had enough work for everyone. So I moved for a new job, and then found I was in an environment in which I could really leave the Unification Church. Meanwhile I kept taking different jobs here and there. I agreed to my husband’s wish he had to become a pastor, which had been his childhood dream. He said that he would study for it. The study took him two and a half years. During that time I was able to consult with a new church and a new pastor until my husband returned. It had been eleven years since receiving our Blessing. It was not a simple task to admit that I had been mind-controlled, beyond what I had been able to be aware of.

Just as I started to figure out my life, I was troubled and could not take it when I realized that I had become a perpetrator after being a victim. Even if everyone forgave me, I felt as if I could never forgive myself. I wondered why I did not just stay in the church without knowing anything instead of meeting my husband. In my mind I kept walking down a long dark tunnel. Also, I realized that really I was experiencing domestic violence in my relationship with my husband. I started reading every book I could find on the issue while I was studying at a nonprofit organization group. During this time I drank up all I was learning just as a sponge sucks up water. I repeatedly reflected on my life. Expressing my thoughts in words made things more clear, as did the counseling I was receiving, having a more peaceful mind, and meeting and talking to former members (10) who had already been able to leave the Unification Church faith. 

The last step for me was a fight against the flashbacks I had been experiencing. With the help of the pastor, I was able to thoroughly overcome the flashbacks. At the end of my rehabilitation, I received a call from my husband saying that he had given up his dream of becoming a pastor and he would just return [to Korea]. When I think about it now that there is no reason to go back to the Unification Church issue. I imagined that if I received the same domestic violence as before, I would have resisted him with a weapon because I did not have enough strength to protect myself. In other words, I think I would have been in the same situation as Miyuki Park who killed her abusive husband (11).

This kind of situation is not unique to a person like Miyuki Park, and it me hurts to think that, if I had been in the same circumstances, I might do the exact same thing. I think this is the problem with the “Blessing”. I think there are still many church sisters who are suffering and troubled under these same circumstances. I cannot help but think that there might have been something to help a person like Park. [The local Unification Church in Korea did not support her although she asked for help many times, according to an extensive magazine report.] At that time, I was able to confess to a Domestic Violence counselor that if something went wrong I would have attacked with a knife. I had calmed down by the time the day came when my husband returned home. I had been encouraged by the words of others that this marriage would not work out in the future, and that the children did not need such a father who had so many problems. So I decided to divorce him and I left the house. 

I went to see a lawyer who knew the Unification Church problem very well. Since my husband never came to the court, the divorce was decided unilaterally. It had been 26 years since I had dedicated myself to the church. I was feeling so tired after I had suffered through all the mind control that I could not even stand on my feet due to the fact that I could never recover the days I had lost. But now I am feeling a bit better and living a life that gives me value. Pastors, lawyers and volunteers who deal with Unification Church issues, former members who were able to leave the Church, and those who I have not met yet but know through their blogs – they all are the reason that I can now stand here as a free person. I hope many more people can be rescued from the Unification Church.

____________________________

1) There is a term used to describe a married couple consisting of a Korean man and a Japanese female church member. Sometimes the Korean men were not Unification Church members, or just pretended to be members in order to get a wife. Fees of between $2,000 and $10,000 have been paid by families to obtain wives for their sons from the Unification Church – which distributed flyers offering to find wives. The market for wives has been created by a gender imbalance in Korea of up to 1 million fewer women than men of marriageable age. There have been United Nations agency reports on the cultural difficulties that foreign wives of Korean men have faced, and the fees paid to the Unification Church are documented.

▲ Flyer distributed in Korea advertising the availability of wives

2) Video Center. A facility where the identity of the Unification Church is hidden and witnessing is done by showing videos. 

3) The title used by members to describe Leader Sun Myung Moon and his wife. 

4) Abbreviation for economic activities such as traveling (and living) in a microbus and fundraising. (MFT)

▲ McCol drink cans

5) McCol is a Korean company which makes barley based drinks. It is owned by the Unification Church.  

6) Donations are also to be made to pay for one’s sins (and to liberate ancestors). 

7) After mass marriages, Jucheja (subject partner) is the title brides are told to call their grooms/husbands. Women are called object partners.

8) The 124 couples mass marriage was the third held by the Unification Church, after the 36 and 72 couples. 

9) The family of the deceased are in a period of mourning for 49 days after the funeral. Once a week they visit the grave to place fresh flowers and to burn incense. On the 3rd, 7th and 49th days they have a short memorial service at the grave, led by the Shinto priest.

10) Those who leave the Unification Church. 

11) Miyuki Park was a Japanese member who was matched and married to an abusive unemployed alcoholic Korean man by the Unification Church. She asked for support from the local church but was not given any practical help. She had to work hard at low paid jobs to pay for all her husband’s medical bills. It was said that she was treated worse than their dog. In the end she murdered her husband by smothering him while he was sleeping. She is currently serving time in prison in Korea. See link to a Japanese magazine article about her.

_________________________________

Why did a Japanese Moon church member kill her Korean husband?

Suicide of Japanese ‘Moon money mule’ in Uruguay. Mother of three children

Japanese woman recruited and sold to Korean farmer

6,500 Japanese women missing from Moon mass weddings

Moon Church human trafficking is despicable

Japanese member, Ms. K, was forced to marry Korean man she did not like

Hiroko Yamasaki (Olympic athlete) joined and left the Moon church

A huge Moon Church scam in Japan is revealed

여성신자U씨의 체험담

통일교　여성 피해자의 체험담 （K씨）

[sassysweetstories]

gotta raise a little hell

Request: “I have another imagine for u to write another crossover. Teen Wolf and Percy Jackson imagine the reader is a daughter of Hades who hangs out and lives in the Underworld w/ her dad and meets Theo Raeken when he's sent to Hades and the reader takes Theo to meet her Father and the reader tells her Father some of Theo's story and that Theo didn't belong down in the Underworld bcuz he wasn't dead and stuff and Theo tells them about a different kind of supernatural world that's out their and what he is despite being a Chimera a wolf/coyote and all that stuff.” 

Ship: Theo Raekan x Fem!Reader

Warnings: fighting, mentions of hell, blood, gore, angst, fluff, softness, supernatural elements, yelling, etc. 

Tagged: @bailey-hoover @kiralivelove @thalia-prior-of-ravenclaw @anamcg317bellasett @queentiffanyyy @archer-whovian-violinist @beingmadinwonderland@princessisabelle19 @violence-and-velvet @lachicadelamanzana

Notes: none of these gifs are mine, credit to owners. 

Third P.O.V

Theo screamed, voice hoarse and broken as the young man begged for mercy despite the pain he caused. Within his very tiny heart, he hoped and prayed to a god he wasn’t sure he even believed in. Maybe there was no god? Theo thought as he was sucked down, further into the darkness. “PLEASE! SCOTT!” He cried out, tears slipping down his dirty cheeks. “HELP ME!” Theo’s voice cracked, reminding not only himself, but the teens around them, of their own fragile age. The woman pulled him down harder, scratching his back as he fought to stay afloat from what felt like drowning in the dark abyss. But when his hand slipped, one last faint gasp left his lips as he plunged into the empty pit below. 

His perspective seemed to shift around him as Theo gazed upon a new world; dark and treacherous. A wave of foreboding enveloped over his frame. Heat seemed to pulse all around the young boy, almost drifting towards him, and yet, his heart felt as cold as ice. What a peculiar contrast? The sky bled with orange and red hues. Not the pretty kind from the sunset he’d been able to see in Beacon Hills. This image that lay before him, however, was something much more haunting. Crows, no- not crows, cried and soared through the air at abnormal speeds, flying pass when Theo took cover. 

Low growls and banshee screeches erupt from around the perimeter. So much cacophony he wasn’t sure if they had any particular place of origins. Or maybe you’re surrounded? He thought warily to himself, hoping and praying that wasn’t the case. But just as the question passed his mind, Theo soon wished it hadn’t. Three dark, black masses crept up from behind the rocks, chuckling like children or hyenas. The sound itself was absolutely chilling. But as they slipped closer, the young boy’s face turned ghostly white. The creatures, with wart-covered skin, wide-wings and bloody teeth gleamed down at him the way one looked at food and empty belly’s. 

With no weapons but his own inner wolf, Theo took a strong stance, pretending to be prepared for whatever came his way. He moved his arms and wrists methodically to aid the shift, growling at the beasts, territoriality. Almost simultaneously, each took a few steps back. For a fleeting moment, Theo thought he’d had scared them. That sense of hope and pride quickly washed away as a dark shadow loomed over not only the three creatures, but himself as well. They aren’t afraid of me. Theo thought, shaking. They’re afraid of what’s behind me. With hesitancy, he turned over his shoulder to see for himself. 

Gaping, he hadn’t paid much attention to the beasts that ran from the dark mass that stood before him, much like a haunting sky-scraper. Theo wanted to run but he was struck with a mix of awe and fear. The monster looked at him with curious eyes, almost intrigued by the young boy and his strange abilities. It moved quickly, taking him by surprise, shifting and minimizing it’s size until the creature looked like a normal girl, someone he could see walk among the halls of Beacon Hills. Her eyes were the only difference; blood red with a piercing gaze. “Who are you?” She asks, voice low and demanding but smooth like honey. "Theo Raekan." He mutters, trying desperately not to seem as afraid as he is. "Theo.." His name on her lips sound so sweet it sends chills down his spine. 

“What brings you here?” She mutters, stalking forward almost like a lion would pursue it’s prey. The young boy stumbles backwards, scared yet in awe of the woman. She seemed to be as curious about him as he was about her. “So what brings you down here, Theo Raekan?” Theo stutters, nervous of the beautiful powerhouse that stood before him until he cleared his throat. “I never caught your name? And.. I-It’s kinda a long story..” She chuckled lowly, voice smooth and sweet sending a thrill throughout his whole body as she prowled over to him, curling her neck like a snake. “I have all the time in the world. And.. I never threw it.” Theo trails after her like a lost puppy, enamored by the drop dead beauty. The words fall carelessly from his lips and she listens with deep intent. 

(Y/n), he learns the name of which she goes by. The young demigod watches Theo with curious eyes, confused and intrigued by the Chimera. His tales of woe were not something worth damning to hell. She wondered if her father could change the future that’s set to come if he doesn’t learn how to protect himself in this type of place, not to mention his lack of death. Theo notices within the first few minutes of walking, the creatures that roam Hell run far away from (Y/n), who walks brisk-fully, almost unaware of the power she holds in each step. The young woman thinks back to her home, camp-half blood. With demi-gods and centaurs running about freely, classes to prepare one for the hardships of the world. (Y/n) believes Theo should go there, the one place he belongs. 

They speak with ease, conversation flowing off the tongue like a soothing stream. The chemistry is undeniable. He sits on the edge of his seat, grasping every word that leaves her plumps lips when she describes her world to him. A land of creatures unlike anything he’d ever thought could have existed, seemed to live right under his very nose. Impossible. He thinks, stupidly until glancing in the mirror. He is the impossible. The same energy transpires with her as she listens to the breed of creatures that have manifested throughout the many decades. Fascinating. (Y/n) thinks to herself as they take the steps to her father, mansion looming over them. “I would like to persuade my father in letting you return with me to my camp. There’s much we both need to learn from one another.” And with that, she leaves him by the front gate to confide and tame the beast. Good thing she likes to raise a little hell. 

(I hope you guys liked it!!! PLEASE COMMENT!!) 

[averygim]

hello all. you can call me cal or jeepers, which is my discord name and i think is funny tbh, but i mostly go by cal. my pronouns are they/them and ‘m in the est timezone. i’m a bit late to the game but i’m still v excited to introduce my child avery to ya’ll. below is a whole mass of text that’ll help you get to know this mess of a child. uwu it’s easiest to reach me on discord at jeepers creepers #5103, but i also try and respond as quick as i can to tumblr ims so it’s really whatever you prefer !!

basics

name: avery gim job: baker at peau d’amour age: twenty-five gender: cismale pronouns: he/him sexuality: grey-asexual / panromantic birthday: february 6th zodiac: aquarius personality type:  advocate | infj pinterest board: HERE

aesthetic

the haunting sound of a piano in a memory you can’t quite reach

a warm summer night spent watching fireflies dance among the trees

a bite of a fresh peach that leaves your mouth sticky and sweet

theme song: the 7th sense by nct u

hatred that will not go away and dreams that torture me the clock laughs at me, it does not give a single error i’m a mess, I don’t even know myself, my future is colored darkly i’m struggling, coloring this night even blacker in the irregularity that’s hard to understand there’s a story that’s deeply hidden eyes are being opened through this song your dreams are being read it’s being awakened from a deep sleep my seventh sense

positive & negative

affable ( adj ) : friendly, good-natured, or easy to talk to.

languid ( adj ) : (of a person, manner, or gesture) displaying or having a disinclination for physical exertion or effort; slow and relaxed.

versatile ( adj ) : able to adapt or be adapted to many different functions or activities.

candid ( adj ) :  truthful and straightforward; frank.

then

it begins when he’s four years old - this obsession in him. his parents couldn’t have expected that sending their son to piano lessons we enact such a wild passion in their small, quiet boy. it was hard to pick out at first. often, they would pick their child up from his lesson to find his small chubby cheeks stained with tears. his parents assumed he was simply being stubborn about learning the instrument. they would see the kids dragged to the lessons bemoaning their distaste to it to their parents and would tell each other “our boy is simply quiet with his dislike for it. he has never been a talker.” and  would keep taking him week after week. the piano teacher couldn’t enlighten them to what was going through their child’s mind in terms of why he seemed to work himself up into such a state. she explained to them that he seemed attentive whenever she would teach him and it was only until he started to practice on his own that the tears would begin. neither parties could get a word out of the child though he often seemed to calm fairly quickly post lesson, spending the car ride home pressing his small fingers into his thighs as though there was an invisible piano etched into his skin. at one point, his parents seemed to give in a bit to their uncertainty of how their child was doing, offering to take him out of the lessons. the aggressive shake of the four years old’s head and high squeaky voice insisting “ no, no !! “ was quite the surprise. it wasn’t until a year later, when he began to find his voice that he admitted to his piano teacher that he just loved piano so much, he couldn’t stop himself from crying whenever he got to play. the teacher passed this along to the parents with much amusement and relief.

the passion the young boy had for the instrument didn’t falter over the years, even as his peers turned to other extracurriculars and sports rather than the piano. his parents opted to get him a keyboard to set up in his room on his seventh birthday, still wary about how long he would remain content with the lessons. they had never enjoyed the instrument with such conviction when they were forced to take lessons growing up. it was, at least, comforting to know that their quiet child still enjoyed spending time doing kid things, such as playing outside, playing pretend and colouring. he even showed an interest in baking, which he often did with his grandmother, much to the disbelief of his father. still, he was a good child and despite the wariness his father had of allowing him to indulge in his more feminine hobbies ( he was very much stuck in the throws of toxic masculinity ), his mother and grandparents supported him fully in whatever he wanted to do. so during the week, he would go to his piano lessons and play with the neighbourhood kids outside. then, on the weekends, he would spend time with his mother’s parents, often baking some sort of treat with his grandmother and listening to his grandfather tell tall tales of his own childhood.

as he got older, his skill in piano progressed more and more. between his lessons and the studious way he practiced, he ended up participating in a variation of different concerts. by the time he reached his early teens, he was playing with the adult orchestra with nine years of lessons and experience under his belt. it was an astounding thing- to hear him play. it was as if this lazy, beautiful human was gifted with talent from the gods, but he wasn’t. he worked for his ability. countless hours pressing fingers into plastic keys. perhaps that is why, for his sixteenth birthday, his grandparents and parents pulled together the money to buy him a grand piano. it was then, upon walking into the home to find the piano gracing the room that used to be the den of their house, that he discovered he hadn’t quite outgrown his habit of crying when overwhelmed with emotion.

between creating compositions, practicing, baking with his grandma, and the hell that was high school, he didn’t have much time for anything else. he didn’t mind. he was content with his work, both with the piano and at school. he had a tendency to overwork himself within the confines of his piano room and bedroom between the two. this led to him developing a bad reputation of being a lazy and privileged individual who got away with sleeping in class. his peers saw him as someone favoured by teachers, when in truth it was simply because he’d had multiple discussions previously with them about being awake in class. many of them had agreed to let it slide so long as his grades were maintained. it was a necessary thing to seek as if his parents found out they would no doubt put restrictions on how he was working. 

despite the peer isolation, which later led to a fair amount of social awkwardness on his part, he seemed to get along great with those he went up against in competitions. perhaps it was their shared love or enjoyment of the instrument. regardless, he created a group of friends outside of the school scene and, despite many of them being older than him, he was respected and treated much better than others his age treated him. 

the summer post high school graduation saw him doing something no one could have predicted ( aside from his grandfather who swears up and down that he saw this coming since he was seven years old ). he set out on a tour of major cities, performing alone on a stage with simply a piano, a mask, and a single spotlight. see, in the latter years of his teens, he really blew up thanks to the internet. he became known under a moniker the he’d used on his youtube channel, which he would post videos of his personal compositions and covers of songs on. it led to some artists and producers reaching out collaborate, which, in turn, increased his popularity.

( car accident tw ) life was good for five years. he got to do what he loved and loved what he did. of course, all good things must come to an end, even if that good thing felt like it is your entire life. at twenty three, the now grown quiet boy got into a car accident. a drunk driver hit the car his mother was driving with him in the passenger seat. his mother survived with a few bruised ribs and a broken arm while he came out of it with severe head trauma. head trauma that, out of all things, resulted in hearing loss. the cochlea and hearing nerves in his inner ears were damaged to the point that it sounded like a hush fell over the world. it was a difficult reality to swallow. 

( depression tw ) it was a loss like no other. he could no longer hear his piano. he could no longer get lost in the world his music created. depression hit him heavy and hard, dragging him under in a suffocating hold. seventeen years. he’d been playing piano for seventeen years and now that ability was severely disabled. he withdrew, cutting ties with almost all of his friends who were apart of the music world. his parents didn’t know what to do with their quiet child who seemed to become deathly silent after the accident. the whole family had signed up in solidarity to learn asl alongside him. the only ones who seemed to muster out any sort of reactions or responses from him were his grandparents who struggled to learn the new way of communicating. he tried hearing aids in addition, however, the damaged required a more intensive solution. cochlear implants. he refused despite the struggle he still faced with the hearing aids. his family tried to get him to go through with the surgery, however he was an adult and it was his decision to make. so he continued to allow himself to waste away in the distorted world around him. his father responded to his state with anger, while his mother grieved and worried over him from afar. his grandparents were around as much as they could be, reaching out with patient hands. it would take two years for him to reach back.

twenty-four and feeling stuck, exhausted, and just down right sick, the quiet boy finally inched out of the shell the accident had left him in. it starts with therapy, then medication, and ends with stepping into the kitchen with his grandmother again. his piano remained untouched, gathering dust in his home behind a locked door. no one brought it up, not yet, and instead slow steps were eventually taken. he spoke for the first time post asl and hearing aids to his mother. his voice raspy and barely there from disuse. he couldn’t hear himself, but his mother had burst into tears as his grandparents smiled at each other with watery eyes. it was progress. slow progress, but they were glad that he was finally taking steps forward. 

it was five months after his twenty-fourth birthday that he decided to undergo the cochlear implant surgery. he held no hope for what he’d be able to do with the upgrade. he didn’t allow himself to think of the abandoned piano or the possibility of getting back into music. no, instead, he simply kept his eyes forward as though the past no longer existed. instead, he spent his time baking with his grandmother, helping with the small business she’d started when he was in middle school. the surgery was a success, but the quiet man did not cry when he was finally able to hear with more clarity. there were no tears of overwhelming happiness, instead he’d simply smiled at his mother when she asked if he could hear her and said yes.

it took him six months to decide he needed to move. despite his family still living in the area he grew up in, he needed to get away. he wanted out of the city and eventually settled on moving to beauhart, a place suggested by one of the few friends he kept in touch with post-accident. the official transition happened three months ago where he moved out of the apartment he bought for himself at twenty and into his own home. it was a bit large for just himself and his mother worried that he would fall back into bad habits, but he loved the old styled place. it had a front porch and was painted a gentle yellow. the front was filled with a garden of flowers and bushes that wrapped around to the fence that encased the backyard. his father hated it, but his grandparents had approved when they first saw it, having travelled with his mother to help with the unpacking once everything had arrived. it held more warmth than his apartment had. perhaps it was because he was going to be living in it full time or the character / personality the house itself had. regardless, he felt settled for the first time in almost two years. no one mentioned the grand piano that had been placed in the third bedroom of the house.

three months post move found him working at the local bakery. the early mornings were tough, but the consistency was enjoyable for him. it helped, significantly, with his mental health. he promised his mother to call at least twice a week and his grandmother almost every other day to gossip. despite his awkwardness with social cues and languid nature, he managed to make connections with other residents. things seemed to be looking up, though there still remained that empty part of him and a door unopened.

extras

he is, for all intents and purposes, socially an idiot. he can’t pick up verbal cues up very well and often chooses to ignore them even if they are glaringly obvious. some kind find this incredibly annoying or be endeared by it. usually it’s the former, though avery has never minded. he has no desire to be liked by everyone and is more than happy to continue going by the beat of his own drum.

definitely often produces the wrong first impressions, especially with his looks. he takes care of himself, has been instilled with the habit, especially after how rough his twenty-third and fourth year was. so it’s not often he goes out looking like the drowned rat he enjoys being at home. it’s part of his routine that has helped him stay on track mentally.

definitely a momma’s boy, but would literally do anything for his grandparents. he is planning on having them visiting him as soon as he manages to get his guest room furnished and decorated. 

 if he wants to avoid something, he ignores it. it’s a terrible coping habit that manifests in small instances and larger situations. it’s very childish in many ways, but his therapist has yet to be able to break him out of it. 

is looking into adopting an animal, but is torn between what sort of animal. he has been looking at the humane society, but has yet been able to decide.

he is very indecisive about the smallest of things, but somehow manages to be able to make the bigger and more important decisions ??? 

has a very weird and varied taste in music.

 learned korean from his grandparents when he was younger but primarily speaks english or asl. 

often moves around his house without his hearing aids and keeps things quiet. a book nerd post accident. his favourite thing to do is spend the day on his porch swing reading.

he has been thinking of taking online business courses to learn more about running/owning his own business. he hasn’t mentioned it to anyone, not is planning to, but when he thinks about the future he’s wondering if owning his own bakery could be a possible option.

honestly a sleepy boy even though he has a perfectly reasonable sleep schedule ???

doesn’t know how to flirt. doesn’t even know how to hold a conversation with someone he has a crush on. is very awkward with them.

likes to try and make wacky things (baking wise) when bored then try and make you try it without any forewarning. 

is actually pretty good at making elaborate cakes and frosting designs. does cake commissions on the side for birthdays, in fact.

gets lost really easily. its been three months and he still sometimes forgets where to turn when driving home.

will steal your pet if you leave him alone with them ( not literally ).

is terrible at texting and is the type of person to call you to have a conversation. this is mostly because he’s too lazy to text.

enjoys memes and quotes them sarcastically, sometimes when it’s definitely not appropriate.

has a habit of staring without meaning too. this could either be off into space or actually at someone. he doesn’t necessarily mean to do it. at times it’s a case of dissociation and others it’s simply him having no common sense and/or is blatant day dreaming.

will not ride as a passenger in a car. he’s been able to drive again post implants but the trauma of the accident has caused him a real fear of being someone else’s passenger. 

sometimes, without him realizing it, he’ll mime playing the piano. the habit of pressing his fingers into invisible keys too engrained to erase. he attempts to avoid music a lot, especially classical. it’s somewhat impossible to do at work and outside of his home. at times, he gives in to his desire to try and hear it the way he used to and will blast the music until he can feel the base thrumming in his veins. it’s as detoxing as it is frustrating. as much as he can hear, it will never be like it used to be for him.

if you read all of this i applaud you. tell me your favourite colour, animal, and/or food and then we can plot C:<

[ofmarcos]

( shawn mendes, cismale, he/him ) i just saw MARCO SPIEGELMAN walking down the street’s of provincetown the other day playing 100 BAD DAYS BY AJR out loud. rumor has it that the TWENTY TWO year old is WARMHEARTED, but can also be UNNECESSARILY OVERWROUGHT — overall they’re a POLYMATH. they remind me of A WORN GUITAR NECK WITH OLD STRINGS, COMING HOME THREE MINUTES BEFORE CURFEW, A CRACKLING WOODFIRE, AND FRESHLY BLOWN OUT BIRTHDAY CANDLES. ( ophelia, 19, est, they/she )

hello guys, gals, and non-binary pals, my name is ophelia and it’s lovely to meet u all!! i am nineteen, living in florida, work at an escape game, and my t key on my laptop gets stuck so um if u ever see me leave a t out of a word that’s why. also, fun fact!! i’m originally from a small town in ma about a two hour drive from provincetown :O but enough about me !! this is marco, he’s an actual meme, and you can read all about him under the cut. like this and i’ll come slide into ur dms for plots. <3

(also this got way longer than anticipated, i’m sorry, pls love me)

PINTEREST.

tw: cancer, death, car crash, addiction

marco joshua spiegelman was born on an overcast august day in the city of boston, massachusetts. he was the fourth child and the youngest by seven years, meaning that in some way, he was his parents’ last hope.

the spiegelman family practiced orthodox judaism – his dad was raised orthodox and his mom converted from reform judaism in order to marry his dad– so marco’s childhood was very much focused on religion. the spiegelman family went to services every friday night, celebrated every holiday, forced marco to wake up early on sundays to go to hebrew school, and treated him they same as they had treated his older siblings. however, as his siblings grew up and moved out, they all stopped devoutly practicing judaism and moved into a more modern and laid back interpretation of their religion. marco craved this from a young age, but because he was stuck at home with his parents, he was forced to follow their rules and beliefs.

marco went to jewish private school for elementary and middle school, had his bar mitzvah in the seventh grade, and tried to blend in as best as he could. he liked history and english, eager to learn more about the past and help shape the future. at this point in his life, he had his goal of becoming a politician pretty much set. he would help the end the fighting in israel, solve world hunger, and just be an all around awesome guy.

however, his plans shifted on valentine’s day his eighth grade year. after coming home from school, his parents sat him down and told him that his dad had stage four exocrine pancreatic cancer. he knew that his dad had been losing weight and not eating as much recently, as well as complained all the time that his back hurt, but marco didn’t realize that it was something so terrible and life threatening.

with a survival rate of about one percent, the spiegelman family knew that his dad’s chances of survival were not good. the next few months were difficult, his dad went through lots of chemotherapy and experimental trials, but nothing seemed to be working, and he passed away before june. this crushed marco and his mom; his dad was a kind, gentle, and loving person, and the three of them had grown extremely close with each other due to marco being the youngest and the only child still living in the house.

it was hard for the two of them to live by themselves in a town that his mom didn’t really have any connection to, so a few months after his dad’s passing, marco and his mom moved to provincetown, the place where she had grown up, to try and start fresh. their new beginning came coupled with the loss of their connection to their religion, and marco and his mom no longer practiced judaism

freshman year in a brand new town was intimidating for marco, and this resulted in him being extremely quiet and shy for the majority of the year. however, his history teacher saw how invested in history and current events he was and convinced marco to join the debate team. this is where he found his voice once again.

marco did a type of debate called public policy debate, a style of debate where you talk extremely fast and have to do an insane amount of research to ensure that you know what you’re talking about. in order to participate in that style of debate, his teacher assigned him a partner and he grew extremely close to her very quickly. the two of them went on to win the national title their sophomore and junior years

after joining debate, marco grew more confident in himself and began to talk more both in and out of class. being good at something gave him the boost he needed to no longer be shy, and he was well liked by most people at school. this was also when he found the snackpack, and he has always been grateful for their presence in his life.  marco’s sophomore and junior years were quite possibly the best years of his life.

however, right before the trophy ceremony his junior year, he got a call from his mom, telling him that his sister had gotten in to a car crash and that she was in a coma in a hospital in san francisco. marco flew to san fran immediately after receiving the call, leaving his partner to collect the trophy on his behalf.

for the following two weeks, marco rarely left the hospital for fear that his sister would pass away without him there. although the two of them were not that close, losing another family member was something that marco could not imagine. on the fifteenth day of her being in the hospital, the doctors said that there was nothing they could do to save his sister. so they harvested her organs as donations, and the spiegelmans were forced to put another member of their family into the ground.

senior year came around and marco was a changed person. he was not as passionate or confident as he used to be, he quit debate, and he focused on judaism again to try and give his life some meaning. however, he explored the type of judaism his sister was into, reform judaism, based more on learning and exploring the ideas of religion than sitting in a sanctuary and praying.

although he skipped school often and had mediocre grades, he managed to graduate, his dreams seeming unimportant and his life in shambles. throughout this, he still managed to keep a positive attitude, now convinced that god had a plan for him and that everything would work out fine. he does have really bad anxiety tho, so it’s this classic combination of trying to have faith in the way things work out but never really being sure that they will

without his debate professor, he wouldn’t have even gotten into college, but with the help of someone making sure he followed through, he got into u mass amherst to study sustainable food & farming. this seemed like a out of the blue choice, but it combined marco’s love of research & science, and allowed him to feel like he could have a greater impact on the world than he could as a politician. 

college went by without incident, but here are some highlights (joined hillel and loved being w/ other jews, was a nerd, did nerd things **including a lot of acid, lived his best life)

he just graduated and is home for the summer, he has a job working for the local farmers’ market, and is just chillin’, trying not to think about the other shoe that is bound to drop

he’s doing okay, and that’s all he’ll ever answer the question “how are you?” with

headcanons:

marco worked as a waiter at an italian restaurant in high school so that he could have spending money. money was never a problem in his household as his mom is a cardiologist, but he always felt bad asking for money for things, so he made his own money instead

if marco was a crayola crayon, he’d be pine green. the color is a bit darker than most of the other greens in the crayola family, just like marco in his family, but also has a hint of blue in it, hinting at the sadness that lies beneath marco’s outer layer.

marco really loves old school video games. his old nintendo 64 is collecting dust in his closet, and although he rarely has time to play it anymore, he refuses to throw it out. while growing up, video games were his way of connecting to his two older brothers, his older sister always watching on with a disapproving gleam in her eye. whenever the siblings get together, however, they always manage to turn on an old, favorite game of theirs, and the competition is always heated

in high school, marco smoked a lot of weed. he would always be seen outside at any high school party, smoking by himself or with a group of other people. however, after graduating, marco switched to cigarettes. he smokes frequently, but will furiously deny being addicted if approached about it

marco plays as waluigi when he plays mario kart/party

marco has a slight boston accent

marco is a night person. he utterly hates getting up early in the morning, but staying up late comes easy and natural to him.

marco recycles religiously. if something is recyclable and you don’t put it into the recycling bin, he’ll lose a bit of respect for you as a person

marco absolutely loves space and the universe and stargazing (part of his appreciation for nighttime), but he also wholeheartedly believes that aliens are real, no doubt about it.

wanted connections

his debate partner from high school 

romantic connections (male or female or nb!!)

exes w/ lingering feelings

exes who ended on good terms

the person who took his virginity l m a o

that person that he’s been pining after since freshman year in high school who he just wants to get w/ but has convinced himself he cannot

neighbors when they were growing up

current roommate

that friend that u always compete with and like ur friends w/ them still, u are, but also u always want to brag about how great ur doing

someone who confides in him who he rarely confides back to

u KNOW they probably made a band in high school

people he went to college with

anything ur heart desires!!

[lashydsdomain]

1-154. you wont

bitch

bet i will

1: Full name

lashy. das all you get

2: Age

19

3: 3 Fears

stairs, glass breaking, not being able to get ahold of someone

4: 3 things I love

my ocs uwu, my friends, my fucking tablet goddamn

5: 4 turns on

not comfy sharing on tumblr

6: 4 turns off

ill say ill come back to this one then leave this in the post

7: My best friend

rn i would say it’s probably blitztrolls

8: Sexual orientation

pan uwu

9: My best first date

ahh.... i havent had an in person first date still ;u;

10: How tall am I

5′5″

11: What do I miss

not being stressed eue;;;

12: What time were I born

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

13: Favourite color

pale blu

14: Do I have a crush

ye u//w//u

15: Favourite quote

you know these things are asked and my mind goes blank

16: Favourite place

the woods just after it’s rained

17: Favourite food

im a basic bitch and just gonna say mac n cheese

18: Do I use sarcasm

no absolutely not. nope.

19: What am I listening to right now

ambles playlist- it’s on ocean eyes by billie elish rn

20: First thing I notice in new person

prooooobably like. their face? typing style if it’s online

21: Shoe size

uhhhhhh i think like a womens 10?

22: Eye color

blue/green

23: Hair color

dark brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

loose and baggy because if i cant be comfortable what’s the point

25: Ever done a prank call?

HELL YEAH

27: Meaning behind my URL

lashyd was one of my first fantrolls and i liked the way it sounded

28: Favourite movie

mmmmm either labyrinth, princess mononoke or annihilation

29: Favourite song

no clue my friend im bad at picking

30: Favourite band

same as above sweats

31: How I feel right now

excited but tired

32: Someone I love

passivetrolls u//w//u/

33: My current relationship status

in a relationship!

34: My relationship with my parents

love my dad, kinda dislike my mom

35: Favourite holiday

christ mass

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

none, im so scared of needles ;u;

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

mmmmmaybe something stupid and simple on like my ankle?? i dunno what tho sweats

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

another fandom and i got bored with homeschooling lmao

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

i dislike them but they have tried to contact me a few times before i blocked them

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

not usually

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

i dont text so ill go w discord and no i have not the last person i messaged was you shenk gdi

42: When did I last hold hands?

the 2nd ;u;

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

7ish minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

hellllllllllll no

45: Where am I right now?

room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

prooooobably my bf or my dad. hate alcohol tho

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

loud but only w speakers

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

only da

49: Am I excited for anything?

absolutely motherfucker im making new friends left and right

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

i got two uwu

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

:))))))) irl most of the time tbh

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

last night

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

i would probably cry ugnfldkjfgslfdjg the last person i kissed was my bf wheezes

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

i mean probably.

55: What is something I disliked about today?

ehhhh nothing bad has really happened today

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

probably my friend from serbia uwu

57: What do I think about most?

ocs probably sweats

58: What’s my strangest talent?

burping on command? i dunno

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

glass shattering ouo;;;

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

beh ind

61: What was the last lie I told?

calling myself a basic bitch lmao

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

phone probably? video calls make me nervous

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

hell yeah to both

64: Do I believe in magic?

hell yeah i yell tossing salt on all my rocks

65: Do I believe in luck?

yeee

66: What’s the weather like right now?

uhhh clear i think

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Shibuya Goldfish

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

nop

69: Do I have any nicknames?

lash, lashy, gremlin and then stupid relationship nicknames gldsfgjfgs

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

prooobably almost falling down some stairs at a con and chipping my shin and probably partly pulling my shoulder out of the socket

71: Do I spend money or save it?

i try to save but end up spending it ouo;;;;

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

nearly

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

there are some half customized MH dolls so i guess yeah

74: Favourite animal?

cat uwu

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

drawing ambles trollcall pick

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

satan stan obviously

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Here - Ancient Magus' Bride OP

78: How can you win my heart?

art of my ocs ngl

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

fuck if i knew

80: What is my favorite word?

probably fuck if you would ask my phone lmao

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

passivetrollsblitztrollstavvys-trollsfilibusterfrogwe-are-the-legion

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

hey fuckers lets rumble

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not that i know of

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

teleportation ngl

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

probably 87

86: What is my current desktop picture?

87: Had sex?

sweats how about we move on

88: Bought condoms?

ye

89: Gotten pregnant?

hell no

90: Failed a class?

i think yeah

91: Kissed a boy?

yeeeeeeee

92: Kissed a girl?

nop

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

does it count if we were indoors

94: Had job?

not yet wheezes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

ye

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

i dont think so i mgiht have when i was younger

97: Had sex in public?

n o

98: Played on a sports team?

ye!

99: Smoked weed?

ye.

100: Did drugs?

only weedles

101: Smoked cigarettes?

nop

102: Drank alcohol?

yes and i hated it

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nop

104: Been overweight?

ye

105: Been underweight?

nop

106: Been to a wedding?

nop

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

 every day p much

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

nop

109: Been outside my home country?

ye!

110: Gotten my heart broken?

;;;; yeah

111: Been to a professional sports game?

ye

112: Broken a bone?

possibly?

113: Cut myself?

if this is on accident then ya

114: Been to prom?

prom is a waste of time ngl just go to arbys

115: Been in airplane?

yeye

116: Fly by helicopter?

n o

117: What concerts have I been to?

blueman group and the 4th of july ones that play around here

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yeeee

119: Learned another language?

bits and pieces

120: Wore make up?

yeah

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

nop

122: Had oral sex?

lets just skip the sex questions

123: Dyed my hair?

yeee

124: Voted in a presidential election?

ee

125: Rode in an ambulance?

nop

126: Had a surgery?

nop

127: Met someone famous?

yeye

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

god no

129: Peed outside?

this question is weird

130: Been fishing?

hell the fuck yeah

131: Helped with charity?

prrrrobaby?

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yeah ;u;

133: Broken a mirror?

i dont think so

134: What do I want for birthday?

money

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

NO

136: Was I named after anyone?

i was named after two people uwu

137: Do I like my handwriting?

i can barely read it lmao i hate it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

my stuffed tigger uwu

139: Favourite Tv Show?

fuck i dunno probably cyberchase or fetch i dont watch tv anymore lmao

140: Where do I want to live when older?

somewhere quiet but convenient

141: Play any musical instrument?

flute and violin

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

i have a scar on my knuckle from making garlic bread ;u; wasnt even good

143: Favourite pizza toping?

banana peppers

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

nah

145: Am I afraid of heights?

mmmm at times

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

yeah >w>;;;

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

all the mc fuckin time

148: What I’m really bad at

telling people when im not up for something

149: What my greatest achievments are

being alive you fuckers cant beat me i won over hundreds of other fuckers and im here

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

Lets Not, Kids

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

buy so much cosplay shit and helping friends get what they need

152: What do I like about myself

im getting better uwu

153: My closest Tumblr friend

passivetrolls or blitztrolls wheezes

154: Something I fantasize about

being able to help my friends out of the places they are right now QuQ

155: Any question you’d like?

more questions for amble and my other girls!

[thechaoticwonderland]

I finally have time to write, damn it! I have been MIA for the longest time (and Twitter has been basically my place for word vomit) but I swear I have been trying to write something here -- as proven by my numerous drafted posts. LOL. 😓

If you’ve been following me on Twitter or Instagram, I TURNED TWENTY FOUR a few months back. Yup, I have officially changed my profile every where to 24. I still can’t believe I am THAT old but meh. 

I celebrated my birthday walking dogs and getting drunk around Sheung Wan and Central Hongkong with my boyfriend -- super low key but probably one of the best birthday celebrations ever! 💜 But I’d probably save a different post for that -- WHEN I FIND THE TIME AND ENERGY TO DO SO. (Possibly never, but let’s see lol)

And since I am T W E N T Y F O U R (ack!), I have decided to come up with a blog post on 24 life realizations I have at 24 - some are realizations I’ve had leading up to my 24th but you get my point. 😂

1. Love comes when you least expect it - cliché, I know. But I met my boyfriend at this random birthday party I gate-crashed AKA his 30th birthday. 😁 Long story short, we’ve been going out for over a year now. We both weren’t looking for anything then since he just got out of a toxic relationship, and I was casually going out with random people. But here we are. 😜

2. No need to rush things, do things at your own pace - I started my Masters over 2 years ago, and you’ve guessed it, most of my batch mates have their Masters degree already. 🙆🏾 At some point, I wanted to study full-time cos I’ve gotten envious of my friends. But since my parents are still (yep, I know. Shame on me) paying for my tuition fee, I don’t want to burden them with allowance expenses + my living expenses (If you’re new here, I actually live alone lol) so I need to keep my job. Now I’m 1 subject away from defending my paper! I’m almost there! And it’s actually not bad. 🤗

3. Don’t live beyond your means - Ahh, my dad’s favorite life lesson. I never thought about it then since I was living under my parents’ support, but now that I live alone I have to make ends meet month on month. In layman’s terms IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT, JUST DON’T. 

4. Don’t put your eggs in one basket - I know I am not the best person to be all preachy about money (cos I am bad at handling my own finances, but I try) but I have 3 savings accounts in different banks. It comes in handy when one bank fucks shit up (like goes on a nationwide shut down *cough BPI*, or one that just eats up your card and your money from time to time *cough BDO*). 

5. Your past doesn’t define you or how you’d succeed in the future - Another cliché saying, but I swear you get to realize why people say it often. I’ve done so much shit when I was younger but believe me when I say such experiences will help you realize stuff later on. After all, we learn from our mistakes and such mistakes will push us to be better people tomorrow. 

6. Your choices in life are your own, don’t let people tell you otherwise - You will never share the exact same beliefs with everyone, I’m sure about that. Just do you and brush off other opinions, they don’t matter - believe me. 

7. Keep your circle close and small - Your real friends genuinely care, the others are just curious. Be cautious.

8. Always be kind - And this applies to everyone: guards, maids, janitors, etc. Believe me, if you’re nice to everyone, it’s easier to ask for favors. 😜

9. Travel alone - You should try this at least once in your life, me thinks. It gave me a sense of liberty and independence! I did this when I was trying to mend my cracked heart - and I came back to Manila feeling all refreshed and happy. I guess I learned that I don’t need a man to survive! HAHA! 😂

10. Don’t complain, do something about it - Ranting is fine, human nature. But if you will just sit down and whine when something could actually be done, then maybe you should rethink your life choices honey. Instead of wasting your time and energy complaining, why don’t you stop and think? Things and answers won’t always be served to you on a silver platter, FIND WAYS. 😊

11. Don’t forget to remove your make up at the end of the day - PLEASE. Do yourself a favor and let your face breathe! 😛 

12. ALWAYS MOISTURIZE AND PUT SPF - *i-capslock mo para intense!!!* I couldn’t stress this enough. I actually keep various moisturizers depending on the weather, I have intensive moisturizers for when I travel and light ones for the Philippine heat. Just please, never skip it! 

13. One at a time - My boyfriend would always tell me this when I’m stressing over work, school, among other things. It helps, actually. Stop, arrange your thoughts, and do things one at a time. 

12. Treat yourself - Now before you go crazy and tell me that this is a bad thing, I didn’t say you have to buy that expensive bag you’ve been eyeing on for so long because “I DESERVE IT”. Going back to point number 3, if you can’t afford it - IT’S A NO. It can be as simple as “I did a great job today, I deserve good coffee - not my usual pantry coffee”, which is my usual way of treating myself. If you can afford to buy that expensive bag to treat yourself, BY ALL MEANS DO IT. But always remember POINT NUMBER 3!  

13. Family will always come first - Ah, this is one of the many things I realized growing up. Of course I was super excited to grow up so I can go out with my friends whenever I wanted to before. But when I moved out, I always look forward to weekends so I can come home to my family. What a baby, I know right?  

14. Let go and let God - I am not the most religious person in the world, heck I barely even hear mass (I’m busy, but that’s not an excuse I’m sorry). But I really believe in greater power from above. I always find myself in hopeless situations, where I find my shitty ass crying myself to bed on most nights (add that I also live alone so imagine how bad it must be lol). But I usually find myself just getting through the worst days with little miracles. And I always thank God for that. 

15. If you feel so happy with the wrong person, image how happy you’d be with the right one? - Eep, another cliché saying c/o me lol. But seriously, I thought I couldn’t be happy anymore when I once got my heart broken HAHAHA. Cut to mid-last year, I’m extremely happy -- waaay happier than before. Not saying I’m already with the person for me, though I really do hope so (HAHAHA yuck cheese) but I’m happier than before and I’m sure the person I’m with is a better person amongst all the guys I went out with before.

16. Take long walks. - I enjoy this so much especially abroad. I went on a birthday trip in Hong Kong and I spent 70% of the time walking - thinking and reflecting. 😅 I think long peaceful walks are good for everyone’s sanity.

17. Cut off toxic people. -  Not everyone you lose is a loss. If they aren’t doing you good, what’s the use of keeping them? 

18. Life is what you make it. - If you want something to happen, the first step starts with you. 😅 If you don’t take the first step, nothing will happen. SERIOUSLY. Everything doesn’t happen by chance!!!!! 

19. You don’t have to have a reaction on everything. - I believe there are things better left unsaid. I know a lot of people would disagree. But I still think the saying “If you have nothing nice to say, just zip it” is still superior. Lol.

20. Work isn’t everything. - I recently had to stop working for a week and a half due to some health concerns. It sucked balls. But I came to realize work isn’t everything -- YOUR HEALTH (mental health included) IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT.

21. Quite connected to the bullet prior, Work can wait. - I have learned to keep work within working hours. Remember, work will always come and it will never be done. Know what’s most important and prioritize! That’s the key. Whatever’s left can be done tomorrow. You don’t have to spend 12 hours in the office all day and stress out on work, tbh.

22. Choose your battles. - Not everything is worth stressing over. (remember point 19!) 😋

23. Respect begets respect. - Respect opinions, respect people - young and old alike. Sometimes we just have to learn to agree to disagree. 

24. Live life to the fullest. - Another cliché saying, but honestly you’ll never be as young as you are today. Make mistakes so you will never make the same ones in the future, learn the ropes of life through the decisions you make everyday. Not everything will go our way, that’s for sure, but life is only what we make of it. 

I hope you got to pick something up from my blabbing. To be honest, it took me months to finish this list since I barely have time in my hands. Lol. 😬 

I missed you, Tumblr! ✨  

[these-are-the-first-steps]

An objective, uninfluenced review and discussion of TLJ after just leaving the theatre- mileage may vary

THIS SPOILER-FILLED REVIEW IS UNDER A CUT. IF YOU SEE A TON OF TEXT AND NO CUT, SCROLL LIKE HELL. 

OK, so, some initial take-aways:

-This was a really busy movie

-I feel like they crammed three films into one and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

-This did not have the standard feel of a star wars film and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

-Too much comedy. Sorry. It was a bit much and ruined the mood in a lot of places imo.

-Holy shit, that was the hottest, most sexualized hands-touching I have ever seen in my life

-My life literally flashed before my eyes when Finn went to kamikaze. They had him get so close to the end, and that tear— jesus fuck I genuinely thought that was going to be the end and I was a mess. God bless you, Rose.

-My life literally flashed before my eyes when Leia was ejected from the ship- they had me going thinking this was how she was gonna go. The force flying was hokey as shit, but you know what? Fuck it. Carrie Fisher can cheat death and fly- it's fucking canon now. Deal with it.

-The music did not blow me away on TLJ as it did in TFA. Most likely because the movie was so damn busy.

-Too many climaxes. Yes, there is such a thing. I was worn out by the end of this film and there was no real catharsis at all because of it.

-I don't know how the fuck they're going to do 9 without Carrie after that ending. Well…I do have one idea, but I kinda hate it.

The Meat:

The scroll this film was interesting, in that its last sentence broke the mold of previous star wars crawls- that was my clue right off the bat that this would not be following the standard 'feel', for lack of a better word, of star wars films. Honestly, I don't expect the off-shoot movies like 'Rogue One' to follow whatever standard 1-7 do, but like I expect it from the main series, and like I said at the beginning, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it yet. At the moment I'm a little disappointed that it deviated so much, but we got so many juicy tidbits and moments to have and to hold that that's kind of outweighing the minor point of format. So, I'll be seeing the film a few more times in various formats before coming to a hard conclusion on this.

Anyway…

HAHA POE GOT SLAPPED! THE SLAP HAPPENED! And it was pretty underwhelming honestly. And then out of nowhere Leia's all charm and kindness again? That really made the whole moment meaningless to me. Like she was never mad enough to slap him to begin with, so why? The moment was ruined by Leia's sharp U-turn and that sucked. They had a real opportunity to bring home just how severe and serious Leia's despair over so much loss has been, but the really watered it down every time, usually with comedy.

There was too much comedy in this film. I get maybe they were trying to lighten it up for the kiddos, but they did it in alllll the wrong places. It really botched the mood of the film repeatedly. The timing was just terrible. I mean right off the bat- sure, Poe's exchange with Hux was hilarious, but man it did not need to be in there. At least not first thing in the film when you're trying to set the tone. What a waste on all ends. That part really frustrated me.

I'm surprised at how soon Kylo bashed his helmet to pieces. That was really soon. Sadly the shock of it just wasn't there for me since I'd seen the trailers, but whatever. It was still a great moment done by Adam exceptionally well.

Mark Hamill was A+++ in this film. Everything about him was great. Absolutely stellar. While TLJ was mass confusion, Luke Skywalker stayed consistent and made linear sense throughout- the only exception being the very end. Why….why did he die again? I'm seriously confused? He looked pained, and I kept waiting for the camera to pan down to explain what was going on- did he actually have a giant saber hole in him from Ben or something? But no- he just flounders on a rock for a bit and then kicks it. I still just do not understand. I don't understand it at all. Also, Rian promised us some big compelling monologue from Luke that would be oscar-worthy and it wasn't there. Where was the monologue? Three sentences strung together do not a monologue make. Sorry, kids. I think Mark did a stellar job, as I said, and they've put him up for an oscar nom, but honestly….I don't think it was oscar-worthy simply because there wasn't enough there due to the over-taxed storyline, and if he does get one, it's gonna be earned out of sentiment more than anything, which….I mean, an oscar is an oscar, but still. You know? Also, we had stills and BTS footage of Luke down in that dark side hole with Rey and we never saw that. I hope Rian releases his director's cut so we get those scenes back- otherwise there's a good chance we'll get them in the novel or something.

Canto Bight was super unnecessary. What an unnecessary, overly-busy, budget-draining side romp. Maz was unnecessary. The whole 'let's get the codes' thing was unnecessary, although Benicio del Toro stole the fucking show with his character- that dude was great, and we'll definitely be seeing him again in 9. He's clearly going to be the side-character replacement for Phasma (RIP gurl). Canto Bight achieved only two things: 1. The FinnRose romance. 2. The stable kids, or at least one of them, has the force. Yep! That kid at the end- when he reaches for the broom, the broom jumps into his fucking hand, y'all. That kid has the force. The force is clearly back with a vengeance in the young babies of the galaxy. And that was it. I feel like they could have achieved both those things in better, more meaningful ways. But no, they wanted to do a casino(?) bit that will likely never be heard of again except in extended merchandising because fuck disney's money-grubbing ways. Oh, I DID like DJ's 'Rogue One' call-back reminder about how literally both sides of this war suck and everyone's trash, especially the warlords growing fat off the profits in the middle. I appreciated that bit. It was also a nice social commentary for a young audience that will hopefully stick with them. It was a cool moment that del Toro played beautifully.

Two words: PORG BABIES. Also, is Chewie vegetarian now? xD I don't think a whole colony of porgs should have come along in the falcon- that was a bit much. Again, comedy in places it didn't need to be. Whatever. Moving on.

Laura Dern's character dying was a waste, but you know what? That move she did was fucking brutal. It was amazing. It reminded me of 'Farscape' 's wormhole-popping maneuver immediately, plus extreme bonus damage. Just a beautiful sight.

Rose was great- Kelly Marie Tran knocked that shit out of the park. Laughs, tears, she ran the fucking gamut. I know we were all expecting more from her character's sister, but I guess it was the necessary setup to give her the impetus to go take risks. No complaints at all about Rose- I thought she was lovely.

Wow did Poe get a lot of screen time. He got a lot of screen time. I feel like Poe maybe learned some shit, but I honestly don't feel like Finn learned a whole lot which was disappointing. Even on Canto Bight he was like 'No, we're not doing this! Stop enjoying it!' Growth for him would be to start letting loose a bit, and he just doesn't. I also feel like we were deprived of a closing moment with him at the end of the film- we just get the tender moment with him and Rose, which was sweet, but it felt unfinished. I felt like Finn was more along for the ride in this film than actively moving it, and again I think that's the fault of this film being too damn busy and there not being enough time for things to go smoothly, linearly, and in ways that flowed naturally. There just wasn't time for it, clearly, and so character development suffered- unless you're Poe. Because damn Poe got a lot of screen time.

I felt like we should have spent more time on the salt planet. That felt like another over-done thing that, while the location was necessary, was it necessary to make it so busy? As I write this, I think I'm starting to realize that the backdrops are what have really distracted from the story. The backdrops haven't aided the story at all- they've just severely diverted attention from what's important- i.e. the struggles both literal and emotional happening to our characters. The casino was a riotous mess, visually stunning but constantly pulling my attention away from what was going on. The salt planet had tons of unique features but it didn't serve any purpose to the film. None of these backdrops serviced the story, and I think that's a HUGE problem. With an already busy, intricate web of storylines to keep up with, having all these non-contributing, busy-in-their-own-right backdrops just made it even harder to keep up and stay focused on what was going on. You don't leave the theatre feeling like all the threads came together in the end. You leave the theatre going "Well that was cool…but I feel like I've missed something", because you probably have. Here: YOUR BACKDROP SHOULD NOT BE COMPETING WITH YOUR STORY. Ok, I said it.

Snoke made some comments about Hux that were interesting and then promptly never talked about again. Why's that? Because there was no time. Pity. Anyway, the bit about him being easily manipulated because of his personal issues was great, and I was hoping we'd get to see more of that struggle with Hux, more of that fatal flaw at play- his daddy issues, insecurities about acceptance, etc., but it never came. Instead Hux was wasted on comedic moments. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Once again, unnecessary comedy fucking ruins the mood of this film.

Snoke's demise was shocking but also anti-climactic. They pulled all the power from him in one fell swoop and took this amazingly built-up character, this character that had SUCH cool potential, and Rian just threw it in the trash. I'm pretty disappointed. Actually, I'm really disappointed. No wonder Pablo was so disinterested in Snoke questions- Snoke was made ultimately irrelevant as a character. While the psychological effects of Snoke will continue to be a MAJOR issue, killing him was wasted potential, and now Ben’s lifelong struggle with this creature has been belittled and minimized because of it. That is terrible.

So now we get to the juicy bits- Rey and Ben.

We didn't get to see Rey hardly at all in this film. That….fucking sucked. Poe got more screen time than Rey. Fuck you, Poe. I'm pissed off about this. The only moving, worthwhile moments Rey had were opposite Ben. And boy did Daisy and Adam make the most of very limited screen time. Force Bond ahoy, y'all! We called it and it exists! However, it was really crazy abrupt. There was no lead-up of voices, of the connection establishing itself. One tiny teaser of it would have been enough, but no- suddenly it's just THERE, and the music and sound cuts, and if you weren't us and expecting this kind of force bond communication we've all been writing about prolifically for two years, I'm sure you were like "What the fuck- this is out of left field", because it was. Story-wise, it was. And that's disappointing. You want to see something you love executed well, and while you love and I love the connection, it wasn't executed well. It could have been done better. Again, any kind of hinted lead-up- since it was a surprise for both of them, maybe like a whisper of his voice calling to her in surprise? Or something. Instead we get them both right away, which was a bit blunt. I think it could have used with a bit of finessing. Oh well.

From a story analysis standpoint, I think Snoke's claim that he personally established the connection between them is bullshit. I think he was talking out of his ass, frankly. I think him claiming he forged the bond was back-peddling to try and continue to related all roads back to himself because while he certainly played the all-powerful omnipotence card, he clearly knew he wasn't and worked actively to maintain his illusion to keep Ben in check. But it was all a farce, as we could see, and even Ben knew where all the cracks in Snoke's observational skills were. He didn't really have 24/7 Ben TV. When Ben played him like a goddamn fiddle with that sneak attack, Ben showed that he could cloak and twist his intent in front of Snoke's face all day if he's focused enough, and felt he had enough purpose. He certainly did feel Ben becoming resolved alright. He felt him begin to prepare his saber. But how limited he was in what he could see! How limited, whereas Rey on the other hand….oh, he and Rey have something so much more than Snoke's clearly tenuous hold. Ben was only under the yoke as much as he wanted to be, and that realization is very much a doubled-edged sword. On the one hand, it meant he could find the strength to break free when he found a new purpose in Rey. But on the other, it also means he could have peaced out whenever he wanted and taken the FO with him but clearly he chose not to, which is awful and frustrating. But you know? When you wake up to your uncle looking like he's about to kill you in your goddamned sleep after you've spent years arguing against that sort of thing with the voices insisting your uncle will actually kill you, and suddenly the voices are right and your world is fucking shattered? When the voices become the only viable option in your life? I can get that. I may not agree with it, but I get it. And that's plenty.

Also, can we talk about the story of the school's destruction? So Kylo DID leave with some of the students. Let's make an educated guess and say they are the other Knights of Ren. Nice predicting, y'all. I'm sure they'll become major players in 9 as Kylo attempts to step into his role as supreme leader- while Snoke had the red guard, Kylo will have his knights. Cool. Very cool.

To back-track a little, I enjoyed the force chats between Rey and Ben a lot. I feel like more of them happened that we weren't shown. Even as Rey was recounting her brush with the dark side cave, you can tell she'd already been telling the story for a long while and he'd spent a long while listening. But again, with little finessing with all this, for those not expecting reylo the care they begin to have for each other seems really abrupt. Sorry, general audience- I wish it could have been better, too. But let's take what we can get, shall we? Kylo debases himself in front of Rey- admits he's a monster and then cries about it. I love it. Then he gives her the answer she wants in the form of advice, which was a fantastic bit of writing. After that, she inexplicably mellows out to him quite a bit and there's storytime in the stone house, the exceptionally warm lighting, as their hands achingly, hesitatingly touch- an insane amount of effortlessness in making yourself physical in a force-induced manifestation that, for Ben and Rey, resulted in the sexiest finger-touching I've ever seen, and for Luke became such a strain that it killed him. Powerful in the force are these two, indeed. I can't get over how warm that lighting was- literal love by firelight. And then….and then Rey cried it felt so good. And so did Ben. And when Rey recounts what she saw of his future in the elevator when their hands touched, she does this sweet look down at his chest before looking back with care into his face…I was feeling it so hard, man. That is a loving gesture. *I* have acted that way with someone I love. That's a tic that only belongs to lovers, not friends. What kind of 'solid' future did she see for him? With that kind of tic, it makes me wonder if she hadn't seen herself in it, too. Goddammit, ben! Get your shit together, boy!

Rey's lack of social skills, however, really fucking botched things between them, too. Surely there had to be a better way to reason with him than pulling out a goddamned saber. Bad move, sweetheart. And in one fell swoop you broke that man's heart. Everything after Rey's rejection was just bleeding-heart Kylo vomiting his emotions all over the place. I mean he was seriously torn up about it. And what about Rey running off? How come we didn't get that scene? Did she just straight-up split? Or did she stop for a moment to look at Kylo's unconscious, likely peaceful, face? I'm mad we didn't get to see it because it would have said a lot- instead once Rey rejoins the resistance, we get a TON more relationship-dodging. A TON of dodging. Because you know what? The relationship is there, man. Finn's got his gal, and Rey looks on acceptingly at this turn of events. Kylo and Rey have experienced a lot of emotional stuff together at this point- he's the only one that shares her secret about her parents. But you'd never know anything at all had happened to her at the end of the film. It's just business as usual. And that's really weird to me. That's not character growth. A bit of longing there, for what Rey almost, almost, let herself have with Kylo reflected in Finn and Rose's moment, but no- just plain old start-of-tfa Rey apparently. I mean….Rey didn't even ask him about his scar. He never brought up his scar. Was that a scene that got cut? Because how do you avoid that conversation? How do you avoid that? OH! The fight scene- and where she rolls her back onto his back to fight the red guard I WAS LIVING! It was so good, and they kept checking on each other during the fight. I loved it.

I've just been reminded of the shirtless scene- it didn't come off naturally, but I get that they're trying to establish that the bond is manifesting at 'inconvenient' moments, ok whatever. And then Rey goes and spoils the moment with more unnecessary comedy schtick which rolled off Adam beautifully- thank you, Adam. She totally checked him out, though. Maybe she was reliving that moment a little in the elevator when she looked down at his chest. Makes me wonder again just what exactly she saw in his future. I'm here for it.

Why did Rey fucking sail to the FO in a coffin? That made no sense. Although it was cute that Ben came to pick her up like "Hi." but then "Here are some shackles. Sorrynotsorry." I love how she was clearly expecting something else but NOPE.

Also, Rey really does come from nothing, although I don't fucking know how her parents can be in a potter's field in Jakku when Rey last saw them sail off into space. Sounds like hasty writing after being fed up with fans to me. Although Adam rattled it all off beautifully. And I love how Ben loves her regardless of it all. I loved the whole "You knew this the whole time so who cares because I don't? PS: come be my empress, it'll be great." Adam did so well in this film, but I can't help but think, like every fucking thing else, that his screen time was radically choked and that there's TONS more on the cutting room floor that give his acting more of the credit it's due and that flesh out so many more things to help them make more sense. Ugh.

In conclusion. I liked it. I cried when Leia's old holo projection played. I cried like a bitch. But I didn't leave the film feeling like my mind was blown like it'd been with TFA. I don't know if it's because I just felt overwhelmed in more of a bad way than good due to how busy everything was or if it's because I've been analyzing stuff for two years. It's probably a bit of both. Because I avoided the spoilers like the plague, you know? So everything was still new and a surprise, and while I think the film was a total trip that I'd recommend, TFA just felt cleaner, more impactful, and left enough space for all its characters to fully realize themselves instead of the cram-fest that this movie is. And most importantly, TLJ didn't leave enough space for John Williams to create any stand-out moments like in TFA- "The Starkiller" is a piece that gave me fucking goosebumps and that, to this day, will be one of my favorite moments in movie history. To choose a quiet dirge piece for a moment of bloody chaos was absolutely brilliant and shook me to the core, but there was no time for a moment like that in this film and that really bums me out. I was hoping for another moving experience like that.

Reylo's a thing now, but the kids have a lot of work to do on their relationship, because Kylo's in full spurned-lover mode and he's not handling it well. He's now a kid who's been handed all the power in the universe, and if Rey thinks that's not going to backfire, especially with their direct phone line to each other, she's got another thing coming. She's going to have her hands full trying to talk that boy down, and any next encounter between them is going to be incredibly tense and fraught with emotion. He finally outrightly pleaded with her to be with him. And that fucking means something. And Rey's not dimwitted enough not to see that. She knows the implications. She saw his good-ending future, remember- one that, as she recalled it, her eyes drifted to his chest in a very, very affectionate move that was well played by Daisy. In fact, I was so focused on Daisy's performance in that moment that I missed Kylo's reaction so when I see the film again, I'll have to remember to focus on him next time.

And Leia….Carrie was right that 9 was supposed to be Leia's film. I mean…that ending makes it indisputable. How do you work through that? Especially with Luke copping out? Essentially my prediction for what's going to happen is this: Lots, and lots, of Ghost Uncle Luke times. It's the only option they have. Luke's gonna come back, haunt the shit out of Ben and give him terrible girl advice, and then visit Rey and try to teach her some more. It's the only option they have, really. Mark thought he was finally done, but then Carrie just had to go and die- isn't that just typical. I also love how Billie plays such a bigger role in this film. Her performance was great, too, and there were moments where she really sounded like a young Leia that had me tearing up. I love them all so much.

So that's all I got for this initial objective general review of The Last Jedi. I plan to see this film at least once more in standard 2D (my preferred mode), and also in 4DX because why would you not want to be on Star Wars: The Ride for 2.5 hours? It's worth the ticket price. Plus seeing these films in 3D adds a whole new perspective to things, I discovered after seeing 3D TFA. So I'm open to that, too. I had a lot of technical complaints with this film, but otherwise I like the direction it went in, it was a direction I anticipated (minus snoke being wasted as a character- that still sucks), and I'd say as a shipper we got a good 75% of what we wanted. As a shipper, I'd say full steam ahead for the good boat Reylo and I look forward to a hopefully grittier, more distraught atmosphere to really bring shit home in 9. JJ Abrams gave us a very, very solid, coherent story for 7, and I look forward to having that back again for the grand finale. These characters deserve coherency. I love Rian, but he tried to cram too much in too small a space and lot really suffered for it- this was a problem Rogue One had that I hoped wouldn't repeat itself, but here we are. But even Rogue One navigated its complicated story better than TLJ did, I think. I don't know. Again, I need to see this film a few more times before I can really throw the gavel down. But now that this objective review is out, I'm happy to go back to putting my shipper glasses on and appreciating what we do have: Hot hand touches, shirtless Ben Solo, Rey saying 'Ben', Ben saying 'Rey', both of them crying over each other, both of them ogling each other, and the category of Emperor Ren fiction absolutely fucking exploding (and laughing maniacally that my own 'Exigence in force majeure' is now fucking canon-compliant can you believe this shit what is life).

Ok- enjoy the film, friends! TATFS out. PS: Oh yeah, haha, the jedi books were saved- ok. Also, I would love to get my hands on a director’s cut and all the deleted scenes so that I could try my hand at cutting my own version of this film- eliminate or better time 90% of the comedic bits and create a film that’s really darkly compelling and profound. Ok, I’m really gone this time bye.

[mochixjimin]

Gaia ch. 1

OT7| BTS

A/N:  You're a very clumsy goddess, and certain people are getting sick of your irresponsibility. 

Immortality. Endless beauty. Intelligence beyond a mortal's capacity to comprehend; all these gifts from the gods that humans would kill for all at your fingertips. Except you haven't fully grasped proper use of them, and now to no fault of your own, you sit in the Courts of Exousia, awaiting the mentors that overlooked your progress as a goddess. These trials were merely held to track the many deeds (and/or failures) of the many entities that walked the illustrious grounds of the most ethereal landscape. Unfortunately, this trial was held for the latter, and you had the harshest judges in this instance. The pre-trial of your so-called "peers" consisted of Min Yoongi, Kim Namjoon, and Jung Hoseok. These three were groomed for leadership of the courts from birth. Although you all were friends for a while, their biases halted as soon as the doors to the judgment room opened. Namjoon had given you your fair share of warnings, merely looking out for you, and trying his best not to have you sent to the real court, where there was no going back from a mistake of any nature. But while accompanied by Taehyung your seemingly harmless deeds always got out of hand. Even though you were a part of a strong friendship, you both had your own strengths that came with serious responsibility not to be taken lightly. Taehyung, the accomplice in your latest troubles, had the gift of manipulating the elements; his calm exterior and chilled demeanor allowed for the safe passages of those out at sea or in harsh conditions. Taehyung also possessed the ability of translation, allowing him to converse with anything that he came in contact with, whether they be human or animal, it helped you out of some very, very unforeseen misunderstandings.

You, however, were in line to be the next successor to the council under Namjoon, so anything you did was examined with a fine tooth comb. Empathy being one of your many gifts from the Gods was the power to absorb one's emotional strengths, weaknesses, and use them to your advantage, but not to say that didn’t come with some serious trouble. It was Jeon Jungkook that caused you to be in hot water this time around, apparently to no fault of your own, but it was the "golden protégée's" word against yours, and anyone can imagine the outcome on that behalf. "____, do you understand why you have been called before us once again?" Hoseok huffed in tangible irritance while opening your file riddled with complaints and warnings. "Yes, Jung-ssi… I asked Taehyung to help me cast snow over a small city in the mortal world…" You trailed off as Yoongi oh so dutifully finished for you as if it were a joke to him, "ah, yes ____-yah, but what you failed to add was that the town hadn't been touched by snow in over 15 mortal years. Their town experienced mass blackouts, and many of the humans began to get ill with no way of getting medicine or food to last them. You're lucky Jungkook-ah was there to reverse the damage you two caused and heal them as fast he could." Every inch of you boiled, growing hot with anger and a visible tinge to your tightly wound body. It was no use. However, another gift you'd fail to gain control of was your emotions and the elements around you; Taehyung tried and tried again to no avail to help you gain composure when dealing with times of trouble. The room began to rise in temperature, your hair turning bright orange to signify the irritance to match the heat of your insides. "Ah, ah, ____-ah, please calm down, it's getting ahem, a bit stuffy in here don’t you think?" Namjoon calmly aired, attempting to quell the sheer combustion that would have occurred if any more cruel words spat in your direction. Slowly, you unclenched your steaming fists, your hair began to settle back into the tight ball of curls that almost covered your eyes, and your eyes went back to the calming color of peace like before. "Aish, yes Namjoon-op- I mean Kim-ssi, but that golden brat did nothing but set me u-" Hoseok curtly interrupted before you could finish your sentence, "How dare you to speak so lowly of your fellow colleague! I should send you to the highest courts where Yeri-ssi would throw the book at you!" "But Jung-ssi! It is his fault! He knew that I would feel bad that the mortal town had not yet seen snow, they were in a drought! How was I to know that he would cast a mini sickness throughout the town once Tae and I finished our job?" "No, ___-ah, your 'job' is to master your gifts successfully, so that Kim-ssi can move on and gain the status of the ultimate gods and mind his time, but you keep messing up, backtracking all progress, and holding him back longer than he needs to be down here" Yoongi strongly added before leaning forward and joining his hands together at the judgement bench. "I-I-I'm sorry Kim-ssi. I will gladly take my punishment now, how long will I be without my gifts and what fine do I face at this time?" You aired, defeated and upset at how profoundly you affected your dear friend on the council. "It's okay ___-ah, I know you mean well, but due to your continuous court hearings we have no choice but to find a new punishment for you until you truly appreciate the gifts bestowed onto you by the highest of the courts." Namjoon, sadly spoke, making your head turn up and eyebrows lift in confusion, "Wait… what do you mean Kim-ssi? W-what are you going to do? Please don't turn me into a constellation for 60 mortal years, Hani-unnie still can't get the asteroids out her hair!" "No no, your punishment will not be that severe… this time, but we are sentencing you to one mortal year on Earth. You will have no powers, your memories of a goddess will be revoked, and to regain your powers, you will have to learn the lesson of appreciation through however the humans make due with their means of living." Hoseok happily interjected, as if this was the best punishment to could think of to make himself proud. "Are you serious?! What about Taehyung and my family! I can't leave without saying goodbye!" "Oh don’t worry _____-ah, Taehyung will be with you, but he will not be allowed to tell you anything about what has occurred thus far in this proceeding or anything before that. You will have no true recollection of him, he will be what the mortals call "a roommate," and he will not have the full range of his powers so there will be no way for him to help you figure out who you are once you arrive on Earth." Yoongi informed you before finishing up his explanation, "once you leave this courtroom, out through those doors, you will be sent to your home on Earth. We decided to allow the location to be where you were when you were mortal in a past life, but the time is not the same, and the people you thought you once knew are long gone. Take heed to our warnings and do as you need to in the human world. If you can pass this, then we will come back and reconsider all of your accidental screw-ups these last few centuries. Any thoughts, last words ____-ah?" "Yeah. Can me and Taehyung have what they call a cat?”

A/N: hope you enjoyed, I have no idea when I'll get to the next part, so enjoy the read and tell me what you think!