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#like I am cooking food for myself
bearodyne · 1 year
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Made some clothes mods for my boy, and take some pictures for him😍😍
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riacte · 2 months
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so hey guys i finished dungeon meshi yesterday and i'm still thinking about it
#ria.txt#i spoiled myself so at first i was like 'this is bonkers wtf are they doing in those last few chapters?????'#but then it was like. yeah. i see#love those ch when it's just clearly putting the squad into Situations#also. izutsumi#what i really liked was how tightly the protagonist and the deuteragonist were wound up in the overall themes#the plot the themes the conflict the characters it was very neatly connected#hence i am also now accidentally invested in whatever going on between laios and marcille#not just platonic not romantic not enemies i just think they work well tgt and deeply care for each other its great watching them develop#it's the leader + most trusted advisor / anxious girlfailure + the annoying freak she's somehow attached to vibes#haha that rabbit chapter with marcille. hahha i was like what the fuck man. it was funny and then boom whump [tears streaming down my face]#those shapeshifter chs were sooo much fun esp seeing other chara's perceptions of each other. stealing that#the changeling ones were great too elf senshi is the fucking funniest he looks sooooooo unserious#marcille's evolving perception with death starting with saving falin and saving the squad and her nightmares of outliving everyone-#-and her dad and her 'temper tantrum' and UGH when at the end she said she was fine with falin not coming back.... WAAA. OUGH.#i think dunmeshi handled the trope of 'prophecy of chosen one becoming king' pretty well and it makes sense why laios is the protag#the worldbuilding is so thoughtful as well i liked seeing different characters with different worldviews interact#very solid and well rounded series wooo#the main 4 has such a fun dynamic together#anyways. dunmeshi au.....#more like borrowing the worldbuilding bc charas are too nuanced for a one to one comparison#ren is like some prince of his own species but he's like 34th in line and no one cares about him so he fucks off to eat monsters#which is why he's both snobbish AND a total freak when it comes to his food taste#false is originally in for the money from ren and plans to scam him but unfortunately the cringefail swag captures her#martyn is Obnoxiously Clueless and thinks he's smart but he's not. he's resourceful but also pathetic and crazy#stress cant cook but she thinks she does so everyone goes (≖_≖ ) when she picks up a pot. they delegate her to killing and chopping duty#the mvp is iskall who keeps on saving everyone's asses and somehow has resources for everyone#i think ren is actually aware false is going to scam him but he has too much money to spend anyway and he thinks shes cool so he lets her??#and somehow she doesnt take the money and run. and goes back to eating monsters w/ the party. everyone is crazy
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uncanny-tranny · 8 months
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You're allowed to be proud of yourself for achieving things that are not seen as achievements or are seen as "just the norm."
Sometimes, the achievement is reaching where others have always been, and it isn't about being normal, but about the things you have done to achieve a goal. You can celebrate and be proud no matter how "small" a feat it is
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woke up before noon. feeling genuine hatred towards a lot of things right now
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milkweedman · 9 months
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forcing myself to "eat protein" and "be responsible" after once again encountering a week long period of all my muscles hurt so bad and are so weak despite doing the same thing they always do assuming without checking that it was probably because im eating mostly coffee and plain untoasted bread in small quantities. and its not even a whey bread or 100% whole wheat, ive been trying to use up my bread flour/whole wheat blend (i dumped them in the bucket together, maybe on accident ? unclear) so its just that with whatever else i threw in. spent $6 on the only yogurt in the store that had at least 5 grams of protein per 1/4 cup, which is still very little, only to get home and finally google what the symptoms of protein deficiency are. they are not that. those are the symptoms of Who Fucking Knows, As Always
#i dont even like yogurt...#god the food situation is so bad#so it turns out i can do one of the following--but badly and it takes more than 100% of my energy and is miserable and untenable long term#and involves injuring myself to do it: school. work. taking care of stuff around the house. taking care of myself.#i can do ONE.#i also dont get to pick because obviously i have to work#so feeding myself (even like making a bowl of cereal or eating a granola bar) is so impossibly difficult that i can only really do it#at night when high and finally able to feel hunger#and even then its still incredibly difficult and i usually get as far as cutting a slice of bread and then giving up and eating it plain#most of the actual meals i eat are because my roommates are usually kind enough to make enough dinner for 3#but i also have very weird and frequently changing dietary needs that i have not communicated 2 anyone so i cant necessarily actually eat i#have cooked some and made sandwiches a few times but its very clear i am borrowing from tomorrows spoons....#i ran out of the ensure a bit ago and i will get more although none of the stores nearby sell it#but i absolutely cannot afford to live off it#have luckily found that if i just drink one in the morning it staves off the majority of the nonstop random nausea attacks#so a 12 pack would last a lot longer but then its like. so now i need to figure out the eating thing again#cant win etc etc#augh. anyway. complaining over#disordered eating#chronic illness
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Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family
#fucking hell#it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister#who was equally dreading the day#my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt#then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present)#multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way.#combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high#weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells.#this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing.#then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on.#my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence#i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum#who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?)#me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting.#Which amuses the bored and the deaf#but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed#they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes#finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism*#still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously#(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something)#me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room#and made things appear that should not be there#I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go#you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room.#i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear#I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that.#the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well#she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer#maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk.#can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important
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braceletfour · 5 months
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i dont like that poll that asks if you can clean cook do laundry and then says judging you if you dont know how… i used to be able to do all of that i had my first seizure at 18 years old i cant do so many things i want to anymore i hate relying on people… i hate being disabled
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spacecrows · 6 months
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sleepy 10 pm epiphany. maybe i should start taking my adhd meds. that I'm supposed to take twice a day. twice a day? hmm
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philosophicallie · 12 days
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ok time to try to blame someone else instead of me
#being dramatic but idk im also trying to think abt why i am this way#in part to the fact that i inherently view myself as a burden and always have since a child since i could like. comprehend the things my mom#was going through for my life & moving the america etc etc#but like yeah i was basically as independent as couldve been in the PH bc i had multiple ppl who could take me places and take care of me#but in the US it was just my parents and our family and our X amnt of cars#idk i just keep thinking about how much i miss doing anything in my life and how i used to be a dancer a martial artist a potter like#there was so much to me and now because i refuse to learn to drive and get a car i just. am locked out of everything#bc my aspirations cant work out on 1 vehicle in sparse & spread ohio#like idk maybe its the fact that i always was just like im not allowed to have friends im not allowed to go out in the summer#im not allowed to visit friends or extra places or events#never really been independent until i basically ran away and even now im just#only partially independent bc sure i have money and i have my own space but. im dependent on a driver and other ppls schedules and it just#idk i cant not see myself as a burden all i can think of is that im not a good enough woman let alone wife and thats something no one wants#like i barely know how to cook i barely eat i dont clean i barely wash i barely provide like. yeah idk also ever since i had a breakdown#i feel fundamentally just. changed especially about food. and idk i have been asking for others to cook for me more but i still am waiting 4#the next time someone says you can make it yourself and i starve for the next 24 hours#idk dude i literally cannot see myself as not a work of labor. its all mama ever ranted at me about. very verbally very constantly up until#i stopped being difficult with her being the head of the family of like 12#whatever. whatever#im done blaming someone else im gonna eat my words with regret and shame :/
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neonjazzparty · 7 months
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Finally updated my Meet the Artist
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Fun fact: I am not a person but a concept
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pepprs · 8 months
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what is my family going to do about the dishes when i move out. like this is insane.
#purrs#i understand that because im not contributing as much financially to the house + am not home most of the day doing dishes every night is a#fair reasonable way to expect me to contribute. but also i come home every day fucking exhausted and basically have to clean an entire day’s#worth of dishes (not allowed to leave them out to dry either i have to both wash and dry) for 5 people + put away all the food and#appliances + wipe down all the counters. like i clean up 5 peoples mess completely by myself. and it’s a lot and i constantly go to bed at#lkke 1:30-2am or later because im stuck doing dishes. my mom and siblings cook but they almost always do it together so it’s 3 ppl and then#i do this by myself and sometimes my dad helps me but he’s working all the time and all of his money is going to all of us so it’s fair that#he doesn’t have to help but. god. i have to be at work at 9 every day it’s not enough sleep and i am constantly late and so so so tired.#its 1:19am and i still have 2 sink fuls of dishes to do at least + have to put away all the food etc and it’s 1:19am. my body is screaming#at me to sleep but i am not allowed to leave it less than spotless. awesome#delete later#anyways yeah what i was saying initially is like.. what are they going to do when i move out and they can’t just leave the mess to me at the#end of the night. someone’s gonna have to stay up just as late to clean it all. lol#it takes me at least an hour every night to do all of this
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cerosin-bis · 2 years
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everyday I wake up and I check ao3 and I scream piss and cry
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lesbiansanemi · 14 days
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In a turn of shocking events absolutely stunning no one more than myself, I might actually enjoy cooking and not only that, be good at it
#it’s like a switch just flipped or something it’s crazy#cooking genuinely used to be in my top 10 most hated activities#but these past couple days I’ve been loving it?#I wonder if the secret is that I’m ACTUALLY cooking#as in like making things from scratch and not relying on premade frozen and stovetop meals#like on Saturday I made a ran of ribs#(made bbq sauce from scratch and everything!)#and then shredded the meat for tacos#they were delicious! and I loved the process of it!#they were so yummy I brought the leftovers to work for lunch the next day!!!!#I’ve *never* done that before#last night I made pasta#and while the pasta was premade (I don’t think I’ll ever reach a point where I’m making pasta from scratch regularly lol)#(I would like to give a shot eventually though)#I made the sauce myself and actually grated fresh Parmesan cheese instead of using the powdered shit#and it was so yummy!!!!#today a friend is coming over and I’m gonna make her fried rice with some of the leftover rib meat#I woke up this morning and first thing made French toast and bacon#not frozen French toast like I actually turned the stove on#tomorrow night I am planning on making Turkey meatloaf with glazed carrots and some peas#what is HAPPENING#this used to be HELL for me and now I’m enjoying it#and food tastes???? good????#this is insane who was gonna tell me food could taste good??????#I used to hate food and only ate when I needed to#is this what cooking from scratch does???? it makes it taste good?????#mannnnnnn#but anyways yes I’m loving it I’m loving the process and it’s tasting good#I haven’t had a horrible accident where something tastes awful yet#(I expect it will happen eventually haha but so far!!!)
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goldensunset · 9 months
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if you can regularly remember and motivate yourself to feed yourself healthy and filling meals you have a privilege that you may not quite comprehend
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crimeronan · 10 months
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why hasnt anyone ever told me that if u put a pat of butter in a pan and then put an egg on it and wait for 3 minutes u have an edible egg. like it wont be a GOOD egg but it wont be raw anymore. it'll just be a normal egg that u can eat. this is so fucked up why are we not talking about this.
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fooltofancy · 2 months
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cooked something and then ate it, like a real boy.
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