"Picture a plant that's all roots, except for an occasional fruit popping up above-ground. No stems or leaves. It gets all its food from the dirt. Got it? Cool, that's what a mushroom is. Mushrooms are the fruits of the fungus underground."
"That can't be right."
"Oh, not if you ask a real scientists; fungus aren't really plants any more than they're animals, but it's functionally accurate."
"Huh. So I can call a mushroom a fruit?"
"Sure, if you want to piss off the real scientists. Cucumbers really are fruits though, at least going by plant categories instead of food categories. Vegetables don't exist."
"What??"
"Carrots are roots, lettuce is leaves, broccoli is flowers. Vegetables are just edible plant parts that aren't sweet enough to be called fruit. Or berries. Though there's some overlap."
"Right, I heard strawberries aren't really berries; something about the seeds?"
"Yup. Though the real freaky weirdos are the figs."
"...Do I want to know?"
"Not during mealtime! Enjoy."
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