#like I still love tutu I do I just can’t bring myself to think about it and care the way I did

[lesbianfakir]

If anyone’s wondering why I haven’t been posting on this blog I had a breakdown, dropped out of college for the time being, moved back home, and now I’m deeply addicted to stardew valley while I wait for one of the damn jobs I applied to to call me back

[taste-thewaste]

fic pride tag

thank you so much for the tags my lovely friends <3 @bigassbowlingballhead @eusuntgratie

Rules: Post your favourite line or passage from as many of your published works as you’d like. Let yourself feel proud of your creations! Tag as many people as you post snippets, so your fellow fic friends can be proud, too.

this is going to be interesting because I have to be nice to myself and proud of my work lol let's goooo (all of these are firstprince because i'm vanilla)

1. Gorgeous. Another short little dude in my T Swift series, inspired by the song. This is the first line, and I've always loved it:

They are in a small bar in Paris, drunk on French 75s and the nearness of each other, staring at the Eiffel Tower when Alex starts making fun of him.

2. i wanna touch your body (so fucking electric). my beloved first smut fic!! so proud of how this one turned out actually. here's my favorite bit of the boys sexting each other

Later that night, when Henry is safely sequestered in his rooms and able to do what he likes, he opens his text thread with Alex and sends a barb of his own.  Thinking about the way your dick looks when it’s curved against your belly. You’re so fucking pretty.  Alex’s phone goes off, and he looks away from the skillet that he’s cooking chicken in to check. He reads Henry’s text and his cheeks flame, a bolt of lightning heads straight to his groin, and his dick stirs.  Pretty? Yes. You have a pretty cock, Alex. Sue me.   Alex moans, and he can’t think of what to say because his mind is flushed with want and need. Luckily, Henry seems to know this and follows up.  I want your pretty cock in my pretty mouth so I can hear you beg.  Alex’s dick is painfully hard, and he’s grateful for just a moment, in his haze of arousal, that he’d swapped his characteristically tight jeans for sweatpants when he’d gotten home. He manages to tap out a response before he starts taking care of himself. I’d be begging so loud that we’d rattle the ghosts of all those dead gay kings in that castle. I’d peel the wallpaper with my screams for you, baby.   Alex finishes coming as soon as the smoke alarm in the kitchen goes off. He’s burned the chicken.

3. i could've danced all night. henry tutu fic!! this fic is so filthy, and i love this bit

“You…your dick is, uh, ahhhh, cock, and…” is all Alex manages to spit out before throwing his head back and abandoning all pretense of sexy talk. He can’t focus on anything but the feeling of Henry’s giant hands on him ( seriously , is anything about this man tiny?) and how close he is to coming.  “My ‘dick is cock’, eh? That’s eloquent. Pure poetry, love,” Henry says with a low, throaty laugh, feeling himself going even harder than he already had been. Alex cock drunk is his favorite thing; the idea that he can fuck Alex stupid does something to him. He strokes even faster, shutting Alex up before he can even attempt some kind of comeback.

4. only bought this dress so you could take it off. alex in a little black dress and red bottoms! utter filth. here's my favorite part.

Alex knows what’s coming soon, who’s coming soon, and the thought brings a grin to his face. “Look at you, so out of your mind that you’re reduced to fucking a carpet because you just can’t get enough. It hurts, doesn’t it, you little slut? It hurts but it feels good, it feels so good , doesn’t it?” He punctuates each ‘good’ with a dig of the heels, and then Henry screams, fucking screams like his spirit is being wrenched from his body.  He waits until Henry’s finished—he can tell by the way he is just lying there, spent, his body heaving and out of breath—and then he steps off. The vague part of Alex that is still himself underneath the fog of arousal that’s clouded his head wants to pull Henry up, clean him off, make sure he’s okay. That part, however, is locked in the recesses of his brain, and he wants to keep going because it’s his turn now, and by the look Henry gives him when he sits up, he knows that, too.  “Come here.” Alex snaps his fingers again, and Henry starts to rise to his feet. “Did I say to stand up? I said to come here. ” Henry stops, looks up at Alex like he is confused, but he isn’t, and Alex knows it. He drops to his knees and crawls forward, his knees pushing through the mess he’s made without even thinking, moves forward until he is right in front of Alex.

5. turn the desert to glass (you would be the one). henry's tummy fic, the fic I am most proud of. i worked so hard on it!! here's two of my favorite parts bc i can't pick just one

After a few moments, Alex rests one hand on the lower part of Henry’s belly, where he’s the softest, and leans over to grab another spoonful of mousse. “You look like the most pampered, spoiled, overfed little prince right now,” he says in a low voice as the bite of rich dessert disappears down Henry’s pretty throat.

and

A tiny sound squeaks past Henry’s lips, a sound he can’t control but knows will drive Alex mad, a sound that means more . Alex slips a finger inside of him, and another, opens him up like he is a book he’s been dying to read, and Henry bares down shamelessly, his own hand twisted in the sheets at his side. 

6. Your Lipstick, His Collar. my multi chap emo early 2000s college au being co-written with my bestie! this fic is so. much. fun. and here's a bit I love from one of my chapters:

“Here, you dropped this.” Alex’s iPod, suddenly pinker than anything in the world had a real right to be, is being handed to him. Alex looks up finally and his stomach does a flip as Henry’s eyes, as blue as any ocean he’s ever seen, lock with his. Now that he’s up close, he can see the remnants of yesterday’s eyeliner still smudged around Henry’s eyes, and he wants to know why and how and when and where he’s worn it. He wants to sit next to him and watch him put it on. He wants to watch Henry squeeze into those jeans that are really too tight to be allowed, really too tight to be anything more than a major tease, and he wants to…oh, he has to stop thinking right fucking now because things are going to get even more awkward if he doesn’t. “Thanks,” Alex says quietly, trying to not think about the feeling of Henry’s fingers against his as he takes the iPod. They’re soft and gentle, and all he can imagine is the delicate way they must hold an eyeliner pencil. “I like that song,” Henry says, and Alex can’t handle the way the words come out of his mouth, the way they fall from his lips in the lightest, most dignified accent, like the gentle flapping of a bird’s wing. “What?” Alex blurts stupidly, the word falling from his lips with a thud and rolling down the sidewalk like a giant turd. Christ, he’s an idiot.

7. take me out, and take me home. my newest, my lil baby!

Alex tells him the things he’s never told anyone, and Henry places a hand on his knee while he talks. He is quiet and still and holds Alex’s words with so much reverence and care. In return, Henry tells him the things he’s most afraid of, the things that have hurt him the most. He stares Alex in the eyes and gives him pieces of himself that he has never given to anyone. 

tagging: @england-would-fall @henrysfox @agostobuwan @stratocumulusperlucidus @priincebutt

@piratefalls @doublecheekedkinard those are my 7 but please feel free to use this open tag and tag me if you want to do it!!

[bluepenguinstories]

You're Not Smarter Just Because You're High

Well, I’ve figured it out; connected the dots. It all lines up. The skills, their names, what they do… it all goes back to what they had to go through. It’s about alienation, and the struggle to be an idealist when the each half of the world would like to see you dead. The flies buzzing around, frightening at first, become plums once in your stomach.

I should know that feeling very well. That pit. If you look at this date, at this time, in this location it all lines up like a colony of ants out on a mission. I’ve been too much of a shut-in lately to have my head in the clouds. Call this self-centered, but I think I understand others better now. At least better than when I was critically anxious. I still don’t know about their intentions. People are scary, even when I understand then (if I do at all) but this isn’t a rally cry, or a call for help. The call is coming from inside the house.

Even in my head, it’s all about the day-to-day. Hours better spent, and always worse spent. It’s been at least a decade since I’ve had any ambition. What does it mean to have brown hair? It is so wrong to have it? I come from a community fractured like my face from all the times I picked at pimples. My dreams are best experienced when I fall asleep when I was awake, I used to forget I was in reality. Others now say, “you give up too easily.” But the truth is only a matter of never able to handle rejection, the slightest criticism, failure, confrontation. Yet I remain self-critical because deep down I’m aware that it’s necessary to have someone tell me my downsides. I just don’t want it to be someone other than me. In this dim, radiated light, it’s because if someone else says what I believe about myself, it will confirm my fears. Yet consciously, I know it’s not personal. Not like that. It just permeates my life, like expired lunch meat in a fridge.

But then, that’s all beginner material. That’s not the advanced course. Anybody can come to conclusions like that. It doesn’t reflect my values. Maybe it’s that what I value I don’t put into practice until it starts to look like I don’t value anything. Life is a constant struggle between being able to survive and sacrificing what I value. Yes, I know part of it is the economic system I live under but then I really wonder: is the problem also me? Is it because of my broken mind that I struggle to survive? Sometimes it becomes hard to tell how to act. Should I be the shivering puppy in the rain? No, even better, I can live invisible once more. I can cancel myself out. At least that’s how I see it. But I also know the meaning between wanting love and wanting intimacy. But how do you tell the one you love that you want nothing? That is not to say I am without but what I want is the very thing that is nothing. Nothing is everything to me.

Or at least it must be for someone. So did I do it? Did I crack the code? There were newspaper clippings on my great-grandmother’s floor. She always warned me about reading books for devil worship but she never prepared me for the fact that I just don’t like baseball. It all must have some deeper meaning…gender roles, or expectations and that comes another issue of mine: meeting the expectations of others. When medical professionals ask me if I’m pregnant or currently planning to be I have to tell them that I just can’t deliver. I didn’t put on tutus or anything. I am still not the most feminine – I wear hoodies. So how else was my great-grandmother to know? And if she saw the signs would she call me gay? But over time maybe I would have said, “yes, but not in the direction you’re thinking of.” That would have been a good bonding experience. But I just could never bring myself to tell her.

(Actually, that’s a lie, too, as I couldn’t bring myself to tell her because I didn’t even fully grasp that about myself either. Even if I was as bold as I was lamenting I wasn’t, I still couldn’t tell her. That’s just the fact. Also, I probably wouldn’t have even cared enough to tell her had I known, since I have never been close with my relatives to begin with. Actually, that’s a partial lie, too. I liked some relatives more than others and were closer with some than others.)

Is that it? Is that truly the root to everything? Is this some philosophical breakthrough? Freud would say so. Jung would snort coke off my back (allegedly). How should I know where I am and where the universe resides? I didn’t take that class. I didn’t reveal any hidden truths, I just want to make it sound like I did.

[sugarcomatosed]

i love your stories so much!! and was wondering if you can give some writing tips perhaps? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Breaking this up into sections for you + putting it under a cut cause I went overboard. 😅

General Writing Tips

These work for both academic and creative writing.

Make an outline.

It doesn't have to be a formal one, but having at least a general idea of the scenes you want to include is helpful. If I know my fic is going to be a longer one (like Don't Hesitate was and my current WIP is), I break down the larger story beats i want to hit on a piece of paper or my iPad.

It's good to know what you're planning to do, in a any piece I usually have a single specific scene I want to do and depending on what it is, I might either just do the scene I want to or turn into something longer.

Draft, draft, draft.

I cannot stress the importance of going through and reviewing your work. This is a big part of any sort of writing.

Your first idea isn't always your best idea. As you work on a piece you might find your original idea is holding you back, focus shifts! Don't be afraid to let your work change as you go. It's not always easy to let go of your original idea but if you find it's not working, you have to let it change. Sections will need to be rewritten, things have to be readjusted to fit with later sections. Reread for clarity while you're drafting and look to see if this makes sense to you, or reads well to you. If you can't follow it and you wrote it, chances are your reader can't either. Did you use the same phrase again and again? Find and search it on your doc to double check.

Sometimes you have to cut things you really like because they just don't contribute to the fic anymore. Save those bits and use them somewhere else!In a lot of my longer pieces I will write a paragraph, realize that's not where it should go and cut/paste it into another part of the doc because the pacing/scene doesn't make sense where I had it originally, but it works somewhere else.

If you're stuck, skip around, come back and then stitch the bits you have written together.

Don't Focus on a Word Count

This might be controversial, but I'm of the opinion just because something is longer does not make it better. Some works are short, and that's okay! I very rarely try to aim for a specific count of words unless it's for a prompt exchange or a personal challenge. I write till I feel the piece is done. Some stories require more words, some require less.

Don't Hesitate is a great example of this again, because all I wanted to do was a bittersweet first kiss fic, but jumping write into the kiss wouldn't get the full effect I wanted. Meanwhile, with Old Habits all I wanted to do was write dumb comedic kisses, we didn't need a 2k preamble.

Get Someone You Trust to Edit

My go to editor for the past six years or so is one of my good friends. She has edited everything from college papers to my fics for me before I post them to read for clarity, find any funky phrases or misspelled words I missed, and I do the same for her when she asks! A fresh set of eyes makes a world of a difference. Find someone to trade fics with or ask a friend! They might have good suggestions you never thought of, or be able to tell what you were going for when you don't even know yourself.

I also rely on my friends a lot to brainstorm and talk my ideas out before I start because it helps me think and figure out what I need. It's super common for me to text someone and say "im gonna spitball at you, that okay?" and then spend twenty minutes chatting through my ideas.

Have Reference Material

For my 13sar fics, I regularly go back and review/screenshot videos of the dialogue to make sure I am staying consistent with story events, character nuance and small details. You don't have to go crazy, but it is really helpful to have your source material to go back to and check yourself against. In non creative writing I always had a pile of papers highlighted with my own notes on the margins.

Take Breaks/Pace Yourself

Know your own limits, and if you are working and working on something and it's not coming out leave it alone and come back to it. I'm really bad at this personally because when I get an idea in my head I want to see it through but sometimes you gotta step back! It's not healthy to keep working on things and overwork yourself. Stretch, get up go for a walk.

Write What You Want to Write

Don't focus on what people want to read. Focus on what you like. Find a topic, a scene, anything that you are passionate about and the rest will follow. The only time I write fic for other people is when I am writing for a friend. Even prompt requests I only take open ended ones, if I am not interested in writing it it's not gonna happen. I know it's super hard and I get really anxious sometimes about letting people down now, or worrying people won't like something but then I step back and remind myself this is a hobby and I'm doing it for fun.

Play to Your Strengths

You shouldn't try to write like me, you should try to write like yourself. Find what skills you have and use them to your advantage!

I can't give you a step by step list to write like me, because nobody in the world has my background! We're all unique. Everything I've listed so far I know because I'm not a beginner anymore! I'm in my twenties and have come from a strong academic writing background.

I took on an intensive course load in high school, and then went onto college for a sociology degree. I very rarely had test based finals and at the end of each semester would have five 10-15 page papers to submit. Straight up some of my skills come from having read and studied the works of anthropologist Clifford Geertz. I am not saying you should read anthropology/sociology texts. Unless you like that sort of thing lol

I also have 6+ years of theater experience (acting & directing), I use this all the time for my writing. When I think about a scene, I think about how I would work through it as an actor, how the character would move, and how would things read to an audience. The GOTE ("Goal, Obstacle, Tactics, and Expectation") method of acting by Robert Cohen is really useful hear if you want a more technical breakdown of what I mean by that.

This leads to a lot of what we called "business" in acting, doing small tiny things while you talk or move around on stage to give the sense you're a real human. I don't have to think or try on these sort of things because they're in my skill set already!

Things I do Personally

As in, these are not transferable skills this is just the stuff I do while working on projects.

Find a Vibe™️

I come into any fic with usually a goal I want to hit, a line of dialogue or something I want to capture. Just like, the general idea of a feeling a song even if the lyrics don't match up. Make a mood-board, a playlist, just find something you wanna do. It's less about the actual words on the page and what you're aiming to do.

Look to things that inspire you

Don't Hesitate got written because I wanted to write a fic that captured the same vibe as a scene in Macross Frontier, where two characters have a bittersweet kiss before the final battle and that scene still has me fucked up six years after watching it.

My current WIP is doing the same thing but with the song All I've Ever Known from Hadestown. Two characters working through loneliness, the sudden feeling of falling in love and the frustration that feeling can bring on sometime.

I don't plagiarize them word for word, but these are scenes that inspire me! I also patchwork quilt ideas together. Using Don't Hesitate again, I also ended up pulling from a bunch of shoujo anime, Toradora, Sailor Moon, Yona of the Dawn, Princess Tutu...specific scenes I enjoy to blend and create something new.

Goof Off While You Write

I name my documents stupid things, I write dumb placeholder dialogue or vague sentiments like "insert better word here", I make memes when I'm struggling and roast myself and my predictable tastes.

I spent twenty minutes texting a friend Juro's name with different letters spelt out and then the "fuck your chickenstrips" vine saying it was Juro during destruction. Just have fun with it!

Listen to J-POP On Loop for Hours at a Time

i am not kidding I do this all the time. Perfume, AKB48, anime idol osts, Sailor Moon's OPs/ED, vocaloid songs. I like technopop and Japanese is good because it usually doesn't distract my brain since I only know random phrases, but still know what the meaning og the song is.

I love music, it helps me vibe out.

Thank you so much for enjoying my work ;o;

I hope this is useful to you in some way! I'm so sorry it's so long winded but I am overly thorough and love to teach people ;w;

[viastro]

lowkey | xu minghao

ミ★ synopsis: in which you’ve been pining after your fellow dance member, xu minghao, and he helps teach you the choreo one night.

ミ★ genre: mainly just humor, some fluff, y/n is a dummy, minghao is a softy

ミ★ warnings: none!

ミ★ word count: 3,648

ミ★ pairings: minghao x female reader

ミ★ notes: hi!! it’s been awhile uhh, i think i’ll be writing a lot more since i’m quite literally self quarantined. don’t hold me to that tho cause i’m a shithead when it comes to writing 🙈

You know, you weren’t that big of a fan of dancing when you were a child. The first day your mom brought you to your ballet class, you started crying because they wouldn’t give you the big, pink, fluffy tutu. As soon as the class ended you told your parents you were never dancing again, but look at you now. You’re 21 and you are still, in fact, dancing. To make it even better, you’re dancing different genres and are also now part of the dance team at Seoul University.

While you’ve obviously grown to have a love for the art, your parents still like to tease you and copy the way you used to cry about not wanting to go to dance. The most popular quotes they mock you with are, “Wahh! You can’t make me go to ballet! I’m not even the Sugar Plum fairy, this isn’t fair!” as well as the very special, “I’m not a dancer, for I, am The Rock.” (You had a The Rock obsession, so what?) Even then, you let them have their fun because you were truly a nightmare to get into the studio as a child. The three of you made the conscious decision to only j​oke about it together and to ​never ​bring it up to your dance team.

NEVER.

Especially since the guy you’ve been pining over for a good year is part of the dance team. In fact, he’s one of the aces of the team. There’s four of them: Soonyoung, Chan, Junhui, and last but definitely ​not the man of your dreams, ​Xu Minghao. The Uni students like to refer to them as the Four Aces, A4 for short. They’re practically Gods at the University, all the freshmen have a crush on them whether they want to admit it or not. Whenever the big showcase comes up the four of them are a subunit and have their own choreo. It’s pretty epic.

You’re rather close to Soonyoung and Chan since they help you out after practice is over so you can touch up on choreo. Soonyoung’s usually the one you go to to ask for help considering he’s the one who comes up with the choreographies half the time.

“Okay but y/n, make sure to make that move sharper. It shouldn’t be that soft, it has to be aggressive. Yeah, like that!” Soonyoung tells you with a big smile once you correct it. You grin, pushing your bangs off your sweaty forehead. You glance over at the clock to see that it’s 12 am already.

“Let’s continue on Monday, Soonyoung. It’s already really late.” You tell him and he looks up at the clock, shock now displayed over his features. “Holy shit. I didn’t even realize it’s already midnight.” He mutters, making his way over to his bag to pack up his stuff.

“Time flies when you’re with a cool gal like me.” You joke.

Soonyoung looks up and stares at you, no emotion on his face. The room is in pure silence.

“You are hilarious.” Soonyoung says blankly after a beat and you throw your sweat towel at him. He lets out a giggle, dodging said sweat towel. You chug the last of the water in your bottle, before tossing it into your bag. You throw your gym bag over your shoulder and pick up the sweat towel you threw at Soonyoung.

“You’re lucky this bitch didn’t land on your face. It would’ve been a tragedy.” You tell him with a smile, going in for a high five.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you later y/n!” You wave bye and head out the door.

“UghhhHHHH!” You screech into your pillow, kicking the bed with your feet at the same time. Seungcheol stares at you as you have a mental breakdown from the chair by your bedroom window. You lift your head up to suck in some more air before slamming your face back down into the pillow to scream some more.

“Y/N... please... I just wanted some ramen.” Seungcheol begs from the chair, flipping himself so that his head is hanging from the end of the seat where your ass is supposed to be. You lift your head up, shooting him the scariest death glare you can muster. He squeaks, closing his eyes and turning away.

“Haha.... Just kidding... go ahead...”

You turn over in bed, now staring at your ceiling. You recall the previous events of your day that has led up to this exact moment of internal self ​LOATHING​.

earlier...

“Soonyoung, can you come look at this?” You call from the floor of the dance studio, he turns and jogs on over you after telling Jun and Minghao to wait a minute. Minghao stares at you and you glance down at the IPad right away. ​Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god.

“What’s up?” Soonyoung asks as he plops down beside you, back against the mirrors. You show him the competition list, and he lets out a sigh. “God.” He mutters, turning off the IPad and pushing it to the side.

“Guys, we’re competing against Mayhem.” Soonyoung announces to the group and almost everyone groans. Well, pretty much everyone except Wheein. She ends up choking on her water mid-sip and leaves the studio in a coughing fit.

“Literally why. I swear, they have something against us. Not even kidding, they literally wanna eat our ASS!” Jun yells and Minghao pats him on the back. You put your head into your hands, closing your eyes as you realize how much harder Soonyoung and Chan are gonna push the group to make sure we get another win.

So basically Mayhem are your biggest competitor, but they have a vengeance against your group specifically. You’re not sure whether it was because of the time you accidentally walked in on one of their lead dancers using the restroom because she didn’t lock the door, or the time Chan ate the last chocolate donut in the rehearsal room. Either way, they’ve made it their ultimate life goal to beat you guys in every competition.

Too bad they haven’t been able to do that.

“As long as we work harder, it’ll all work out in the end. Everyone, get in formations.” Soonyoung announces, clapping his hands. Everyone makes their way to the middle of the dance studio, but you sit there and pout.

“Y/N, c’mere.” Chan calls over, shooting you one of his dazzling smiles and making a grabby hand towards you. You sigh, unable to say no to one of the cutest men alive.

Guess I'll die.

“Y/N, hit that move harder! Good!” Soonyoung yells as he watches you practice in the mirror. You feel your cheeks get warm after he calls you out in front of the rest of the team.

In fact, you were so embarrassed by the constructive criticism that when it was time to change the formation you accidentally tripped over Minghao’s foot, aka the foot of the guy you’ve had a crush on for the past two years haha !

This causes you to fall forward, about to plummet your face into the hardwood floor, only for Minghao to quickly step forward and wrap his arm around your waist, spinning you around, basically saving you from a lot of physical pain. It was, indeed, one of the biggest cliches you’ve ever been through in your 21 years of living, but did that stop your heart from beating out of your chest when you were looking into Minghao’s eyes? No. :D.

“Are you okay?” He asks breathlessly and you try to find your voice so that you can answer and not look like a buffoon. Alas, you cannot escape from who you truly are. ​A buffoon. ​You end up squeaking out a “yes.” and twirl yourself out of his grasp, only to trip over your own two feet so he reaches out and steadies you once again.

“Welcome back.” Minghao jokes at the fact that you’re in his grasp once again and you squeak once more, jumping away from him.

It’s only then that you realize the rest of the team is just gawking at you two. Well, except the rest of the A4. Their facial expressions range between a look of surprise and mischief. Minghao begins to take notice of the silence in the room and ends up coughing into his arm to break it. Everyone starts acting normal to avoid getting on Minghao’s bad side.

“Well.. let’s run it from the top shall we?” Chan says as he casts a smirk in your direction. You stick your tongue out at him and he chuckles, heading over to restart the song. You glance up into the mirror and notice Minghao’s eyes on you, and he gives you a sly grin.

Oh good god.

present

“So.. what you’re telling me is that you not only embarrassed yourself in front of your dance team, but also in front of the guy you’ve been pining after for the past what, year?” Seungcheol asks. You nod your head slowly, and he has half the mind to giggle slightly.

“Motherfucker why are you LAUGHING at my MISFORTUNE!!” You yell, throwing your pillow at his face. Seungcheol dodges the pillow while laughing at your outburst.

Frowning you mutter in tiny font, “It’s actually been two years.”

“I have an idea.” You glance up at Seungcheol with a slight hopeful expression on your face.

“What if... you just talk to him?!” You are now frowning at Seungcheol.

“Are you crazy? After our four years of friendship you think ​I’m​ going to talk to the person I’m secretly in love with?! Absolutely insane, love. That would never work anyways, I’ll just admire him from a distance like I usually do.” You explain, sitting up in bed.

Seungcheol stares at you for a moment. Your eyebrows are furrowed as you pout down at your folded hands. Your hair is a mess from slamming your head down onto your pillow for at least ten minutes. You may have passed out for a minute due to that but that’s a secret we’ll never tell. He cocks his head to the side, now thinking about how dumb you are. What you apparently don’t know is that Seungcheol is close friends with A4. He’s heard Minghao complain about how shy he is towards you, and how he just wants “to hold her hand sometimes, maybe even a hug and kiss on the forehead. Perhaps even... a kiss on the lips.”

But I’ll just let her suffer. ​Seungcheol thinks to himself.

“Whatever you say y/n. I’m gonna start making some ramen ​myself​ now since you seem to not wanna get out of bed. Came over for us to have a ramen bonding study session only for it to end up with you being stubborn and threatening to murder me with a hanger. I hate it here. This is Seungcheolphobic.” Seungcheol complains under his breath as he gets up and steps out of your bedroom. You glare at his back, laying back down so that you’re once again staring up at your white ceiling. You grab your white pillow beside you and hold it up, imagining that it’s Minghao.

“​Hi. M​y name’s Minghao, I have nice black hair with pretty brown eyes and a beautiful smile. Not only am I tall, lean and fashionable, but I’m also a multi-talented man. I like to volunteer at the animal shelter for funsies and I have a part time job at a dance studio teaching little kids how to dance. Fuck YOU Minghao. Perfect ass bitch. Literally being my dream man I HATE it here.” You mutter to yourself as you glare at your pillow you’re holding above you.

You scoff, throwing the pillow onto the floor and turning over in bed, now staring out the window. The scent of ramen goes through your nose and you find your tummy beginning to rumble. You hear a new sizzle as you assume Seungcheol is making you both eggs. You sigh, getting up from bed.

“Wallow in self pity later. Have fun with your bestie now.”

“Y/N!” You glance up from your phone to see Chan standing in front of you with a knowing smile that has you feeling a bit nervous. “What...”

“So the incident that happened on Monday-”

“Oh hell no! We aren’t talking about this.” You shut him down real quick, standing up to walk to the other side of the practice room. Chan giggles and reaches out to grab your arm, stopping you from running away to safety.

“Channie! I don’t wanna talk about it please!” You whine and he laughs even more, patting your shoulder to calm you down.

“Alright, alright. I just wanted to let you know that Soonyoung and I have to go to a seminar tonight so we won’t be able to help you later with the choreo.” He tells you regretfully and you raise an eyebrow, heartbeat quickening a bit.

“Then why are you here? Who’s gonna teach me-”

“Chan?” You pause as you hear that familiar voice.

Oh... my god....

“Hi Minghao, I’m just letting Y/N know that you’ll be helping her out tonight since Soonnie and I are busy.” Chan says, and flashes you a sly smile. You almost reach out and choke him but he pulls away.

“Have fun y/n!” He sings and walks out the door, leaving you and... ​him ​alone. You glance up at Minghao as he sets down his bag, taking his hat off along with it. Your eyes widen once he looks over at you and you glance down.

“How often do you do these late night practices with Soonyoung and Chan?” He asks, taking off his windbreaker as well and you feel yourself ​break out into a sweat.

“Um, every week. Soonyoung started helping me once he walked in at like 2 am only to find me practicing for our first showcase in freshman year. It’s been our thing since then, Chan joined in on our late night practices when he was a freshman as well.” You explain, putting your hair up into a low ponytail. He nods with a satisfied look on his face, heading over to plug his phone into the aux.

“What are you struggling on? Is it the part before the change in formation?” Minghao asks and you almost throw yourself off a cliff once the vision of Minghao holding you from last week pops into your mind. He turns to look at you once he notices how you’ve become silent, “I just thought because of what happened on Monday that you were struggling with that-”

“No, no I totally understand why. By the way, I’m so sorry for uh.. falling... on you...” You mutter quietly and he shakes his head, waving his hand as if to say, no biggie!

“But yeah, that one is kind of hard because the formation change is one that we don’t do often, ya know?” You answer and he nods. “Yeah I totally get that, don’t worry.” He responds and you find yourself staring at his black hair, which now covers his eyes a bit.

He’s the only guy who can make a mullet look good, you think to yourself. He glances up at you and gestures for you to go to the middle of the dance floor, to which you comply.

“Alright, so let me play the part right before the formation changes so that I can see you do it. Then we can work on what I see you struggling on and fix it.” You nod. It didn’t hit you until now that the guy you’ve been pining over is going to watch you dance by yourself, analyzing your every move to see what mistake you’d make. Now that it’s hit you, you think you’re gonna shit yourself.

Minghao gives you a thumbs up in the mirror and starts the music. Once you notice the part coming you glance up in the mirror, feeling your stage persona take over and the nerves ease away. Minghao watches you turn from the shy, timid person he knows, to a confident and talented woman as you dance. The change has him in awe as he watches you wink in the mirror when you hit a move nicely. He sees you fumble a bit shortly after before catching yourself, continuing to perform as if it never occurred. He pauses the music once you go to your spot in the formation, and you catch your breath.

“You’re really fantastic at what you do, I could see your stage presence come out and it was really uh, attractive, ​to see. I noticed the technicality error, and it’s really small so don’t worry. I’ll just run through it with you.” Minghao explains and you nod, feeling your face heat up when he compliments you. What you don’t notice is that Minghao’s full on blushing right now from his slip up, but he turns away before you can take notice of it.

“So you need to watch your footing here, because you fumbled a bit during this part,” Minghao performs the specific move where your feet cross over before going into a spin. His movements are similar to water, usually so soft and gentle but later become sharp, similar to an ocean wave crashing onto the shore.

“Try that.” He tells you after he specifies what made you slip up and you nod. Getting into position, you redo what he did and he smiles, clapping his hands.

“Nice! Okay now,” He does the small body roll and you bite the inside of your cheek, cursing to yourself. You stare at his face, noticing the small furrow to his brow as he puffs up his chest for the next move. Minghao glances up into your eyes as he does this and pauses. Warmth floods your face as he seemingly stops teaching you. ​She’s so pretty, Minghao thinks to himself as he watches you for a moment. He runs a hand through his hair, breaking the eye contact as he glances down at the shiny wood floor.

“Is there something on my face?” He mutters and you break out of your spell, shaking your head profusely.

“No! No, sorry I just...” You panic, fingers fumbling together as you try and come up with a response that doesn’t mention how handsome he is and how much you wanna run your fingers through his hair.

“You just what?” Minghao asks, cocking his head to the side as he watches you internally freak the fuck out.

“I just... I really think you’re an amazing dancer and you’re really handsome but it’s so much more than that. You’re so passionate and good at what you do, but I’m really intimidated by you and I’ve been crushingonyouforyears so being in a room alone with you is really nerve-wracking.” You quickly explain. He freezes, staring at you with wide eyes. You also quite literally pause.

CUT THE CAMERAS...

DEADASS!!! Did I DEADASS JUST CONFESS IN A FIT OF NERVOUSNESS!!

“I... am so sorry. I’m going to go. You don’t have to like me back, I’m so sorry!” You apologize profusely, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes as you start to back up towards your bag. He reaches out and gently takes a hold of your wrist, pulling you to him in a hug. You freeze in his embrace, and he nuzzles his head into your neck.

“Don’t go. I like you too, y/n.” He mutters quietly.

And this. This is when you start sobbing.

You fall to your knees, covering your face with your hands as you ugly sob right in front of the guy who you no longer have to pine after. He’s staring at you helplessly as you cry into your hands about the fact that you thought your crush was hopeless for years, and how you never expected this to happen.

“I-I’m so sorry. I’ve been really e-emotionally unstable, ​hiccup, r​ecently for no reason. This is like, the best day of my, ​hiccup, l​ife.” You explain through your tears and Minghao lets out one of his cute little giggles that sends you over the edge once again. You let out a loud sob and he giggles again, pulling you to him in a hug and rubbing small circles on your back.

“That’s okay, we can keep it a secret from everyone that you sobbed after I confessed to you.” He tells you soothingly and you hit his arm softly, making him chuckle at you.

“How are you so calm right now?” You complain, pulling back ​regretfully f​ rom the hug and looking up at him with tear tracks running down your face, along with a bit of snot. ​How cute, h​e thinks to himself. He reaches over to his bag from the floor and grabs his towel, wiping away your snot and tears.

“I’m quite literally shitting bricks right now from happiness, but I’m just not showing it because I didn’t want to overwhelm you.” Minghao explains and you bite the inside of your cheek. You glance back up at him and he gives you a small smile, reaching up and patting your head.

“You wanna get back to the choreo?” He asks you and you shrug, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. Crying made you tired.

“Can we just hug for a bit more?” You ask and he smiles, pulling you back into his warm embrace. You sigh contentedly, nuzzling your head into his shoulder. You both stay like that for a while, letting the recent events settle into your thrumming hearts.

“Does this mean we’re... boyfriend and girlfriend...” (👉👈) Minghao asks shyly, breaking the comfortable silence. Giggling, you reply, “I believe so Minghao.”

He squeezes you even tighter, nuzzling his head further into the crook of your neck.

“Good.”

[my-brothers-corrupted]

Chapter Four - Part 4

The boys try to relax after meeting Dark, but Dapper is ticked off at Anti and there is still tension between Trickshot and Dok.

Tws for alcohol, images of dead bodies, and mentions of torture.

Part 4 - Dark's Memory

“Oh, but Dok, I’m tiredddddd.”

He draws it out like a kid who doesn’t want to do his chores, slipping down into the water until it reaches up to his chin, pouting against the waves of the pool. Dok grins at him and reaches out to snag his hand, leading him around in circles against the wall.

“Come on, my friend. Can’t be sitting around all day even if you’re tired.”

“Help me float?” asks Blue, getting up again and turning his back to Dok.

“Okay, if you want.”

He puts his hand against Blue’s back. Blue lies down against the water and lets Dok steady him, til he’s just resting on the surface of the water, drifting.

“No sleeping though,” says Dok, and Blue laughs. They both wear their shirts in the water. Dok itches at his chest. Through the kitchen window, you can see Trick cooking, and Red sits a few feet away from them, watching the forest and tap-tap-tapping his foot. Dok told him he should do something other than stand guard all day, but he hasn’t thought of anything yet.

pine-storm-season asked: Hello! How are you all doing?

Red looks up and smiles at you. “Aw, been better, but you know. It’s okay.”

He glances over at Dok and Blue. “Getting really worried about Blue after how he was acting last night, but sun comes up and he wakes up and seems okay again. A little nausea this morning. I asked him if he was pregnant. He said that would be more fun than this.”

Red grins and kicks his feet. “He’s grumpy about it, but I just hope he keeps trying to stay up. I don’t blame him for being unhappy. I think, um. He really needs more help than he’s getting. But I don’t know how to get him it. Which is frustrating. I’m not really in charge right now, but I’m still big brother. I’m supposed to be looking after them. And I can’t.”

He shrugs. “But I’ll keep trying. I’ll keep the monster away if I can.”

He still has that kitchen knife, sitting on the grass beside him. He itches at the bandaid on his broken nose.

“How are you?”

Anonymous asked: Whatcha cooking, trick? Breakfast?

“Lunch, technically!”

He stirs enthusiastically at a pan full of ground beef, tomatoes, carrots, onions, and peas. “Making kima. Trying to use the perishables first. So we don’t have to get hungry just cause all the food goes bad. The fridge is really full! Hey, do you know what prosciutto is? There’s a ton in there, but I don’t wanna give Dok ham.”

Anonymous asked: (Chill scenes are totally cool! And I love reading anything you write so it's awesome) But hey! Pool time sounds like it could be fun and/or relaxing. And it could be good for Blue's (or any of yalls) health. -Pink

“Just don’t tell Dap we’re outside,” sighs Blue, standing up and running his hands through his hair. After a few weeks since he shaved it down to white, it’s beginning to grow out again, just a little, and he savors the growing strands. “He won’t stop talking about that thing in our yard. He says he won’t come into the house’s territory, but he wanted us to spend all day hiding. But we figured it already knows we’re here.”

He shrugs and looks back at Dok just in time to get splashed in the face by a sweep of Dok’s arm through the water. He gasps and slaps the water in front of him, sending it spraying up into Dok’s face. He laughs and retreats, cutting water with his hands as he backs away.

“Ass,” gripes Blue, smiling as he follows after him.

Anonymous asked: where is dap, if you don't mind me asking? is he upstairs?

“No, he’s hiding from Anti,” says Dok. “But you didn’t hear that from me.”

“Anti’s so pissed at him he only looked for him once,” adds Blue. “He found him in the top cupboard of the pantry behind the juice-boxes and tried to drag him back upstairs, but Dapper wouldn’t stop throwing a fit, and Anti got so irritated he left before - to quote Anti - he pulled him apart tooth by tooth. You might be able to find him on the cameras if you try since Anti’s stopped coming for him. I hope that he’ll come when Trick has lunch. He eats like a shrew. A dieting shrew.”

“I need to have him out here exercising too,” sighs Dok. “He never get out of his little room most of the time.”

Anonymous asked: It's basically fancy italian ham, so says Google. Maybe Noodle and the rest of you would like it but yeah not the best choice for dok

“Noodle! Come here, baby!”

Trick kisses for his cat til he comes and gets him a slice of prosciutto. Noodle is delighted.

“You’re getting so big,” says Trick, petting his back. He’s a very long cat and getting longer, leggy and thin, still golden as the day he was born.

Anonymous asked: Red maybe you should take up drawing or coloring, just something to do with your hands. I know you have a lot worrying you but maybe it will help you de-stress and focus? I find it helps me anyway. A hobby might be good for you right now

Red nods, considering it. Yeah. He stands up. Sits down again. Stands up. Sits down.

He puts his chin in his hand and sighs, kicking at the grass.

“I haven’t… I don’t really have hobbies, ha. Usually I’m the one with the money for the month, you know, so I have to be thinking about food and entertainment and shit in one handful of cash. And when I do get entertainment stuff, it’s for Dap cause he’s alone in his room, or sometimes for the twins if Dok’s having to cut people up or Trick’s depressed and they need something to take their minds off it. Cause that’s what it is, yeah? Entertainment, it’s a need. In those cases at least. And if it’s not a need I don’t get it. That’s the rule. That’s how you stop your brothers from starving.”

He stands up again, staring out at the forest. “But now I guess I can go draw if I want, and it won’t be wrong. Cause it would have been wrong, yeah? To buy paper and pencils for myself. Dapper would need them more or we would need shit to eat more. And now we’re in this nice place after Dap and I about starved in Colombia and I’m just supposed to act like this is our normal and to do whatever I want. I don’t know how to do whatever I want. And I don’t want… I don’t want Anti to pretend this is our normal. Cause it isn’t. I been hungry too many times to let him try to tell me that.”

He pauses, shrugging. “Sorry, I went off. I do want to go find something to do. I wish I had something to color, that sounds fun. I could go look for books or something with black and white pictures. And art shit. I don’t know if there’s any here.”

Anonymous asked: hey, dap? how are you doing?

For a second, there is no sign of him - or not of him moving, anyway. He seems to have shucked off everything he didn’t want to wear as he ran, his tight black dress shoes discarded in the hallway, his clean white dress shirt dangling off the coat hook. There are cuff-links waiting to be stepped on. He may or may not be wearing pants.

But in the office with the grand brown desk and the high, glass-covered shelf full of alcohol in progressively fancy bottles, a slight motion alerts you to an irritated, red-rimmed eye peering slowly out from the side of the desk to check on the beeping noise from the camera - and then, just as quickly, ducking out of sight again.

Anonymous asked: hello, dap! is something wrong?

Liquid sloshes. Dapper glances back at you again, his mouth miserably down-turned and his eyes angry. He hides away again for a few minutes. He’s sick of Anti looking at him all the time.

“I hate Dark,” he spits finally, adjusting a little so you can see him. He’s got a blanket on and all his stuffed animals arranged beneath it around his legs. His pencils are scattered beneath the desk, his sketchpad covered in meaningless circles of colors he can’t tell the difference between. He throws back a bottle of Jameson and drinks deep and hateful. “I hate Anti for bringing us here. I want him to go away!” He coughs as the whiskey burns.

Anonymous asked: Ah... why are your clothes on the floor Dap?

“I don’t want to wear all this stupid shit he puts me in,” he signs. “I don’t want to be cute and perfect, I’m not his perfect little pet thing, not his dog to dress up in a tutu, not cute all the time, sometimes I want to be a man, or I at least want him to know I’m a man, not treat me like a little boy. I only want to dress up when I want to dress up and I don’t want any more stupid little kid hoodies or dumb socks unless I pick the dumb socks. I, I, me!”

He shakes his head, distress creasing through his anger, and he drinks like he’s got something to prove, his face red with crying and alcohol.

“Stupid baby stuck in my fucking crib all day.”

He sobs and then strikes the side of the desk, gritting his teeth. “Stupid little boy never runs from his dad.”

Anonymous asked: anti's not here right now, though. do you want to go be with your brothers for the time being? anti isn't here to be able to do anything to any of you.

“He shouted at me all morning, he’s angry,” grouses Dapper, flicking his golden Christmas knife up and down in his hand. “He said he’ll tie me up upside down until the blood rushes back into my head and makes me stop acting stupid; I said if he tries to make me stay in that room again I’ll bite his ear off in his sleep; he slapped me til I cried.”

His ear is bruised purple on the right and there are nail marks around his wrists. He shivers and curls in on himself, bitter and tired, scratching at a hippo stuffie with textured fur.

“I don’t want to go where everybody’s staring at me, I don’t want to go where Dark can see me, I don’t want to…”

Anonymous asked: Huh boy. Would you mind some drinking buddies? We don't have booze but I can act like a conversational bartender that takes all your problems and sound then into advice. Can't guarantee it'll fix things but we're listening

“That was most of my rant unless you get me started again,” says Dapper wearily, slumping back against the desk so his head disappears and you just see his skinny chest and legs poking out. The thought of it is funny and you hear him giggle, flipping over on his side to hide his face in his blankets.

“I’m sad. Comfort me, Panchito.”

He draws his stuffed Peruvian bear to his mouth for a kiss. It’s hard to tell if that’s his dry sarcasm again or not. He might just be drunk.

“My heart hurts.”

Anonymous asked: How much did you drink so far? Not too much to be dangerous for you I hope

He huffs out a tired sigh and shows you the bottle. There’s more than half of it left.

“You’re going to babysit me too? Not eighteen yet? Just because I don’t age. I didn’t ask for that. I didn’t ask to watch everybody else get older around me while I still look so much younger. I didn’t ask for everybody to make me the baby. What’s wrong with being quiet and nice and cute sometimes? I still want my brother to respect me. I’m not little… I’m mute and I’m psychotic and I like being nice and wearing jumpers and sleeping with a bear. That doesn’t mean I’m not a grown-up. I am a grown-up and I’m clever and tough and I want things. I want to make choices. I’m not five. Not. And if I had got to make a choice, I wouldn’t have chosen to come back to be toyed with by somebody who hurt me.”

His face scrunches up like he might cry, but he doesn’t. He rubs at his ruddy cheeks.

“But I still never go away… so maybe I’m just all talk. Just his baby brother.”

He stares down at the gold of the alcohol.

Anonymous asked: okay, that's fair, dap. do you want us to ask one of them to come be with you here instead? it might make you feel better to have someone like blue with you instead of being alone.

“I don’t want to get scolded,” his hands confess. “I know I’m being stupid. No one else has to share my stupid with me. I know I’m being grouchy and negative and unhappy. I know. They don’t have to put up with me while I’m like this.”

He is very small beneath the largeness of the empty office.

“Even Anti doesn’t put up with me when I’m being a brat, and I’m supposed to be his. Everybody likes me better when I’m smiling and put together. He always just leaves and comes back when I’m too tired or when I’m done sulking. That’s what he thinks he can do this time, just wait for me to decide it’s not worth it. And I always do. I always let it go. Because I know he doesn’t care, so why fight about it? Things are worse when he’s mad at me. But he really hurt me yesterday. That’s worse than when he used to smack me around all the time, before I snapped and he realized how scared he used to make me.”

nikkilbook asked: Red, what if you go find Dap and ask him to draw with you? Let you keep each other company while you do something for you.

“Where he at, though?” asks Red, ducking into the house. “Dap?”

No answer from the wide halls. He trails through the house looking for him.

Anonymous asked: If you want to be mad, J, be mad! Be drunk! These are your decisions and your emotions so express them. We want you to be safe but if you trust your judgement to drink responsibly by yourself, go for it, my guy.

“Be mad, be drunk,” he repeats a little more enthusiastically. After a moment he lowers his bottle and sighs.

“I am not being responsible, though. You are right. I don’t want my brothers to think I’m trying to hurt myself again.”

He sets the bottle gently aside, at least for a few minutes.

Anonymous asked: i don't think they'll mind much, dap. anti cares more about control than love, but the others don't. everyone has unhappy days, especially people in bad situations. we don't have to ask, and they don't have to agree, but we'll ask if you think it would make you feel better, okay? we can ask them not to scold you or anything too.

“He is my heart,” says Dapper cryptically, holding his knees to his chest. “That’s the rope he makes me wear.”

He turns at the sound of someone calling for him. He puts his head against his knees, mouth pursed, but after a moment, he tells you, “They can come see me if they want. But they can go, too, if they want. I have never been there for any of them, truth be told. Not for a long time, anyway. And even then, wasn’t I always just the needy little victim…”

He’s spiraling, his eyes getting dark. He covers his face with his hands.

Anonymous asked: i think they'll be happy to see you, dap. red's looking for you, he wants to know how you're doing. do you want us tell him where you are?

“I think it would be okay. I don’t want him to be disappointed in me.”

He stares down at the floorboards.

“There was a while when Dok and Trick first broke when none of my brothers knew anything about me, just my name and that Anti loved me better than them. I couldn’t talk to them and I couldn’t see them, but I would hear them through the walls and pretend they loved me too. It was lonelier having them in the house than when it was just me and Anti. But even when I felt totally… just… unloved, even when he didn’t even know me, Red would sometimes buy presents for me and leave them outside my door. And it was like there was a little remnant of what we had that was still alive. Or like even if he didn’t even know me, he still would be my brother and look after me however he could.”

He blinks. “I’m rambling again. I am drunk. I don’t want him to have loved me better before he knew me than now, when he’s beginning to see who I am, that’s all.”

Anonymous asked: Dap, you are one of the bravest, strongest, most downright terrifyingly intelligent men i have ever seen. And heck, im a grown up. I still sleep with my stuffed animals! And I color just to color and i eat candy for breakfast from time to time. I watch cartoons and i cry and I do all sorts of things. But im still an adult, and yes, you are too. You are strong, and you'll get through this. -Pink

“Yes, I’m terrifying,” agrees Dapper, nodding his head, determined to believe it. “I’ve killed, like, a lot of people.”

He pauses, touches his mouth, scrunches up his face in thought.

“I guess that is the opposite side of the spectrum. In terms of being taken seriously, I want to be somewhere between Strawberry Shortcake and unattended luggage in an American airport, thank you.”

nikkilbook asked: Room with a desk and alcohol, Red.

Red turns towards the right side of the house, shooting you a confused look at half of Dapper’s clothes scattered around the hallway. He pushes on and into the office, stopping short in the doorway.

Dapper stares back at him with wide eyes and a trembling frown, wiping at his face and clutching his bear to his stomach. The Jameson shudders on the floor nearby, drained by a couple glasses. Red blinks.

He sighs through his nose and then moves to sit down beside Dapper, squishing himself into the space beneath the desk at his side. Dapper sniffles and looks anywhere but Red’s eyes, downcast and humiliated.

“Okay,” says Red, making himself comfy. “Give me that.”

Dapper startles and turns to him. He glances between Red and the bottle, blinking.

“Yeah, come on!”

Dapper lets a sigh drift out of him, disappointed. He is just the little kid of the family. He turns the bottle over to his brother.

“Yeah, that’s right,” says Red. “No fucking drinking alone.”

He tilts the bottle back and drinks. Dapper laughs, turning towards him, clasping his hands together over his heart.

“Red,” he signs, giggling.

“Fuck, that burns!” spits Red, shaking his head and his hands. “That’s nasty!”

“Can’t handle it?” teases Dapper, scooting closer to him, delighted.

“Hey, I haven’t had a drink in a long time, okay?”

“Chug, chug, chug, chug - ”

“Don’t even start!”

Red and Dap laugh, huddled over the alcohol and the stuffies, squished together beneath the desk. Dapper clasps his hand through the blanket, leaning forward to set his head down against his shoulder.

Anonymous asked: How's the liquor Red? Bad? Well probably not since this was a rich dude's stash but the difference between expensive and cheap probably doesn't matter for someone's whose goal is to get drunk

“That is correct, for one,” coughs Red. “And also I know jack-shit about alcohol, unfortunately.”

“It’s good!” says Dapper. “It’s really good.”

“Babe, it’s nasty.”

Dapper laughs. “You can’t tell.”

“I can’t tell. All alcohol is disgusting. I mean I just - I don’t get the appeal. If it’s not like the fruity ones that actually taste nice? It’s nasty. I have never find an alcohol I want more than just, like, a nice orange soda.”

“Do you guys want lunch?” hollers Trick from the other side of the house.

Anonymous asked: Get one of ur brothers to bring the food up like a delivery boy lol

“Heyyyy,” hollers Red down the hallway. “Bring me food!”

“No,” shouts back Dok.

“What does he want?”

“Someone to bring him food.”

“No!”

“Blue, you’re supposed to be my twin!”

“I’m sick! You should be bringing food to me, if anything! Aw, look, Trick’s got me a plate already. That’s why he’s my favorite.”

“Hey!”

“All of you shut the fuck up!” shouts Anti.

Just to piss him off, Dapper stands up and sticks his fingers in his mouth, whistling as loud as he can until Red leaps up and makes his stop, laughing and horrified at the same time. “You are one dumb, bold, black and white firecracker, little brother.”

“Guess that’s why we get along,” answers Dap.

Anonymous asked: damn, orange soda!! that is the best soda, you are an individual of refined taste, red. in terms of lunch, trick's making kima - Indian dish with veggies and beef, basically - it looks p good. are y'all gonna want any?

“I want kima. Come on, bud.”

“There’s the monster in the forest.”

“They’re not going to snatch you while I’m here, bud.”

“You don’t know that,” answers Dapper wearily, but he lets Red lead him towards the hall.

aether-mae asked: Y’all need to eat, and also drink some water or you’ll get hangovers. *paps both ur heads* stay safe kids

“Yes, we do,” agrees Red fondly, pulling him down the hall. “Come on, so. Hey! Whoa, man. How drunk are you?”

Dapper has crashed into his chest, blinking fast. “Dizzy,” he signs.

“You shouldn’t have had that much.”

“I didn’t!”

“Let’s just get you some food and water, okay? You’ll feel better.”

He leads him into the kitchen and then decides against sitting him down at the island, turning to leave him beside Blue on the couch. Dapper sways dizzily, rubbing at his head.

“Hey, my darling, what’s wrong?” asks Blue, reaching out for him. “Dok, come here.”

“He’s okay,” Red insists. “He just, uh. Got into the liquor!”

“Hey!” cries Dok, anger and alarm slicing through his face. “Hey, why! Why would you do that?”

“Dok, come on,” Red protests.

“No, don’t ‘come on’ me! Alcoholism runs in our family and he had a suicide attempt this month. Not to mention Haldol interacts with alcohol! You’ll be dizzy all day.”

Dapper shakes his head, staring up at Dok with big blue eyes. He didn’t know that.

“Don’t give the doctor puppy eyes! It’s stupid, Dap! You want to get to drinking everyday, huh? You want a fun hangover so someone has to look after you? You want to be drunk all the time and then I can’t get you to wake up and it’s four in the morning and I told you to stop, I told you not to have so much, I keep telling you - !”

“Dok!” Trick cuts him off.

Dok stops, closing his eyes.

Trick’s face is guilty and drawn in the kitchen. He turns heavily back to his cooking, dishing meat and veggies onto flatbread.

immabethehero asked: Ooh what are you having???

“We are having kima,” says Trick wearily. “It’s meat and vegatables with paprika and curry powder. You put it on flatbread.”

Everyone’s gone mostly quiet, Red shuffling his feet against the carpet. Blue lets his head fall against Dapper’s shoulder. “I’m taking a nap, good night.”

Dapper presses his head against Blue’s. Trick brushes his hand against Dok’s back as he passes his brother, still standing in the middle of the room, scowling down at the floor.

Anonymous asked: Liquor on an empty stomach leads to a nasty hangover. Go get yall some lunch! And drink some water too. Please and thank you!

“Yes, eat,” insists Dok with a sigh, taking a plate from Trick and giving it to Dapper. “So you’re not sick. Can’t be drinking without food. And water. I’ll get you a bottle if I can find one.”

He goes digging around for a water bottle in the kitchen while Trick passes out food. He slices up a huge white peach and gives everybody a sweet, thick slice as footsteps come down the stairs and Anti appears on the banister, staring moodily down at them. Red and black burns disappear into his shirt from his shoulders and neck, but he doesn’t flinch or whimper, just scowls.

Dapper is tense. Dok tries to ignore their brother as he brings him a water bottle clinking with ice, sitting cautiously down beside Blue and Dapper. Red hovers in front of them, folding his kima into a taco and taking a bite in a pretty good semblance of normality.

“It’s good, Trick.”

“Don’t have to sound surprised.”

“Thanks for cooking.”

“Course.”

immabethehero asked: You know what you should try? Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. They���re from America and they’re delicious!

Everyone glances at the camera. “Uh, yeah,” says Trick. “Those sound good. I’d have to have a way to look the recipe up. But I can make good biscuits. Better than KFC, seriously.”

“I think maybe Blue did actually fall asleep on me,” says Dapper uncertainly, trying not to move too much.

Red sits down beside his brother and props up the plate of kima on his twin’s thighs, just in case he spills, taking enthusiastic bites of his lunch. “You’ll let him stay with us again tonight, yeah, Anti? He’s so tired. You don’t want to wear a body like this right now anyway, right?”

Anti shrugs, his eyes flickering. He turns away, playing with his knife, glancing back up the stairs.

Anonymous asked: Laying it on a little thick there, Dok. I understand you're upset but you don't need to reprimand him in front of everyone, least of all Trick. Taking care of others mistakes that they knowingly make can be hard, but harsh words won't improve things.

Dok raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. Trick sighs, shaking out his head.

“Let Dok have his reaction and Dok will let Dapper have his,” he says. “He already backed off. I don’t need to be coddled like I can’t handle the consequences of the choices I’ve made. But thank you.”

cest-mellow asked: you guys should have a pool party ! take your mind of all the stress, dark shouldnt come to your house territory anyway right..?

“Yes, right,” says Red, watching out of the corner of his eye as Anti decides to head back upstairs, stomping with every step. He’s gotten used to watching for Anti’s warning signs with his other siblings, but he has no idea how his brother will react to Dapper resisting like this. He’s never seen the two of them fight in front of the others, and he’s never seen Dapper quite this mad at him. Any of his other siblings could have lost fingers for the things Dapper’s done in the past twenty-four hours. Red shivers and shakes the thought off. “Yeah, Anti says Dark won’t come into the boundaries of the house, whatever that means. And if they show up in the yard again, I’ll fucking take a knife to them, swear by it!”

“Don’t talk like that,” mumbles Blue, rubbing at his eyes. “They’re not something you should mess with, I don’t think.”

“Well, I think we should go outside and sit around the pool, anyway,” says Red, reaching out to start tugging on pants legs - oh, Dapper is wearing slacks after all. Red grins up at his siblings. “Come on, come on! Need some sun!”

“We were just in Peru!”

“And still so pasty white!”

They end up sitting around the pool, Trick and Dok side-by-side at the far end, kicking their legs in the water and making sure the other eats enough while Dapper sinks down into the water like a tiger on the hunt, warm in the water. Red sits Blue down in the pool chairs at the side and they take a moment to look at each other, mimicking each other’s expressions as a game until Red makes a face so stupid Blue snorts with laughter and breaks character, sitting back in his chair, smiling in the sun.

aether-mae asked: Y’all keep an eye on Dap while he’s in the pool in case he’s still dizzy

“Good idea,” agrees Dok.

Dapper puts a hand to his forehead and faints dramatically, slumping back into the water. Red actually does leap up to his feet before Dapper surfaces again, grinning.

“Not funny, Dapper!”

“Dapper, that’s not funny!”

“Carver! Don’t!”

He giggles under the weight of their disapproval and they seem to roll their eyes at him as a collective, smiles flickering on their mouths.

Anonymous asked: Ah the facade of normality, so sweet yet so frail

Red and Blue glance over at you, eyebrows shooting up. Blue doesn’t seem to appreciate the message; Red looks a little unnerved.

“Don’t be weird,” grumbles Blue, turning back to his family.

“That’s my job,” says Red, kneading his hands together. “To make things feel normal when they’re not. Or safe when they’re not. Or okay when they’re not. I - ”

Blue puts a hand on his knee. “It was a weird message,” he says, squeezing his knee. “We don’t have to talk about it.”

Red nods, turning his attention back to him.

“Hey, will you go get me more water?” asks Blue.

Red is happy to do so. He gets up, taking their cups with him.

It is then that your screen changes in a way it has never glitched, fizzled, or blacked out before.

Someone has taken an Illumination effect to your screens and turned the color all the way down, down, leaving everything monochrome and night-struck, casting them all into shadow. Blue sips at his water as Red returns and you see something smoky and liquid fill up the glass as he puts it against his mouth. In his chair, Red tilts slowly back, until his body is stiff and unmoving against the back of the chair. Dapper is not rising from the pool. Dok and Trick have fallen asleep against each other, and their faces, as you watch, grow more and more hollow. The skin tears on their grey cheeks and white bones glimmer in the dead light of the sun as the color of the pool darkens and darkens and darkens. Blood drips from Blue’s mouth as his eyes flicker and close.

“But you know the truth, don’t you?” comes a cold, drawling voice, deep enough to drown in. “It is just a face - sweet as honey. Frail as mortal bone.”

There is an echo to the voice, not layered like Anti’s, but repeating after it, sometimes changing the way they said it.

“Frail as mortal bone…” it whispers.

“I suppose he put you up to this. You always do whatever he tells you. Play any game he gives you. His loyal, naive little followers. But it doesn’t much matter,” shrugs Dark, flickering into view, blue and red, at the edge of the forest, standing on a cane. They do not appear to you the way they appeared to Anti. Gone is the rot, the decay, the death of them. They are upright and beautiful, with black eyes that glitter like the stomach of the night sky. Black hair curls neatly around their ears and eyes. They are dressed neater even than Dapper, a suit perfectly tailored along the fine curves of their strong body.

They look harmless, respectable, attractive. They are smiling at you.

“I like playing games, you see, with anyone other than him. He’s not here right now,” their voice drawls, low and whispered, as though to make you lean closer to your screen. “So I have a proposition for you, old friend.”

“I have a proposition for you, old friend,” spits the echo.

“It looks like you’ve been watching these poor pets a long time. Attached, are you? I can see glimpses, here and there… illness, torture, sickness in their minds… does it just kill you to watch them being hurt again and again, never getting away?”

“Never getting away? Trapped? Does it just kill you…”

“Bring one of them to me,” says Dark, smiling broadly at you. Their teeth are white like a snake’s. “Bring all of them to me, if you want. And I’ll be kind. I promise. They can rest a while. I have people who can give them anything they want.”

“Anything they want.”

“And no one will hurt them while they’re with me.”

“While they’re with us.”

“But if you don’t… I have more creative ways to bring them with me.”

They smile at you, dark eyes flashing. At the poolside, Red is on the ground, unmoving. Dok and Trick’s chests bleed as twins. Dapper seems to be glitching, thrashing with drowning one moment, still the next, thrashing, still, thrashing, still.

“Don’t disappoint me,” Dark whispers.

They wink. They disappear.

“Thank you, Gigi,” you hear faintly, and then it is all over.

Your screens are normal again. It is a sunny, beautiful day. The boys are unharmed, Dapper chasing a tiny frog around the side of the pool while Red and Blue split another peach and Dok and Trick splash water at each other, laughing. A bird calls, overhead. Everyone is fine.

pine-storm-season asked: Cameras went weird for a moment, was that just for us? It's probably not anything important, I'm just curious if you guys noticed anything about it too.

“Cameras went weird?”

Red turns to pick up a handheld, turning it in circles as he examines it.

“Looks fine,” says Blue.

“Yeah, I don’t know. We weren’t paying close attention, though.”

Anonymous asked: The boys might not have noticed that... "thing", but did Anti also see it?

Anti shoots you a look from his bed, where he’s sitting with about six computers surrounding him or perched on his lap. “I don’t know what the hell you assholes are talking about, but nothing happened in my systems. If something happened, it went through your end of the system, so sucks to be you if you have a virus other than me, but I’m fine.”

He doesn’t look fine. He looks pissed off and exhausted and unhappy. But that’s probably unrelated.

Anonymous asked: Uh Anti should you really just be going sucks to be us considering that the one who sort of appeared to us seems to be threatening your boys...

Anti stares at you for a moment. Then he bursts into laughter, incredulous. “Yeah, I reckon they fucking did! I was the one who invited them to play this game, you know that right? Fuck. Obviously they threatened them, I told them to try and goddamn kidnap them! Oh, goodness… sometimes I wonder about the lot of you.”

Anonymous asked: So what's your plan here then, Anti? Wouldn't you want to keep them safe from other stuff??

“I thought I explained. I never understand why humans don’t understand when I explain things. I don’t understand what they don’t understand.” He pounds on his keyboard as he types, frowning. “I told you this is someone I… trust. I mean, it’s Dark. They’re my… they wouldn’t hurt my pets. We’re just playing games, that’s all. Dark knows me. I know Dark.”

cest-mellow asked: why would you want dark to kidnap the boys, anti? what happens if they succeed?

“If they snag one of them, they can have Dap for a little while,” says Anti, grinning. “That was the deal we made in the forest. But if not, they’ll help me like I want them to. And that’s the thing, really - even if they do win, I bet they’ll still help me do what I want. Just might have to make up for it in… other ways.”

His smile only grows. He glances out the window like he’s waiting to see Dark again, swaying slightly on the bed.

Anonymous asked: Doesn't it worry you that they know about the cameras and can show us things that you can't see? You don't see that going sideways?

“Fucking Gigi! I’ll kill him! He got into my cameras?”

He leaps to his feet and stands at the window, peering out at the forest, beaming. “Fuck, I knew that little cheat would ask the others for help. Well, doesn’t matter. Gigi may be a force to be reckoned with, but I bet Red can out-hack him. I’ll get him a computer.”

Anti turns back to you, a fang poking out of his mouth. “Besides, I don’t care what they show you. There’s nothing you can do about any of this.”

bupine asked: what other ways, anti? hopefully not something like sacrificing another brother. trick wouldn't like that, would he?

Anti snorts. “Oh, fuck… no. You misunderstand. I meant… other things. But I assume some of you are minors, so I won’t go into detail.“

Anonymous asked: I volunteer Trick

Trick blinks, huddling down at Dok’s side. “Hey! What am I being volunteered for? Guys? Ha, Dok, they’re Hunger Games-ing me. You gotta be my Katniss.”

Dok doesn’t look back at him. His eyes are fixed on the doorway to Trick and Red’s room.

“Dok,” Trick insists, pushing at his shoulders. “Hey, the cameras are talking, you like that. Did you float away on me again?”

Dok shakes his head, turning back to his twin for a moment. “What? Oh, no. I’m here.”

“You’re jumpy all day,” whispers Trick, nuzzling his head down against his shoulder.

“It’s past eight,” says Dok. “Anti should have come to get Blue and Dapper and I. But he hasn’t.”

“He’s just having a hard couple days. Let him rest. It’s okay.”

Dok just stares at the door.

The night has come quietly. He is not the only one who’s tense. Red and Dapper are huddled on the windowsill signing and whispering, Blue laid sleepily across Red’s lap, though his keen blue eyes, at the sound of Trick and Dok speaking, turn and fix on you.

Anonymous asked: Blue, you doing okay?

Red and Dapper pause to look at their sibling and Blue sits up, waving their concern away. “Getting into bed,” he mumbles.

“Okay,” Red answers him, reaching out to pull his head in for a kiss.

Blue crawls into bed, carrying a handheld with him. His eyes shift around the room in warning.

“I thought Anti would come back and make us go upstairs with us, but he’s left us alone. That means he’s planning something. It’ll be worse than just dragging us up the stairs or knocking our heads against sinks until we stop fighting.”

He sighs, deep and hurting.

“I don’t know how to protect them from it. Any of them. Even if he doesn’t touch Trick, he gets his trauma secondhand from watching the rest of us get beat and then it’s all buried under this veneer of amnesia and fake love. Even if he doesn’t touch Dapper, he’ll shove him back into a headspace he hates and make him a slave again. Even if he doesn’t touch me, I have to feel him beneath the skin.”

He pulls a pillow to his chest for a hug, closing his eyes. He needs to calm down.

“I think I could almost convince Red to get them and go,” he whispers. “But there’s that thing in the forest…”

He shakes his head and sighs. His eyes flash open. He looks at you. “I promise Dok and I are working on things,” he whispers, so quiet you can barely hear him over the sound of Pot Noodle hopping up onto the bed and padding towards him to purr like a motorboat in his ears. “I promise…”

Anonymous asked: You're doing great, Blue. This is a really hard situation. You're doing incredibly well, okay? We're here to help, and you have your brothers with you too.

“Thank you,” he says. “That’s nice, really. I want to - I want you to have a better story to read. I think about that sometimes. I want you to see us happier. I want that.”

Dapper giggles in the windowsill and Blue looks up, some of the stress fading into warmth on his face. He and Red are huddled together over one of Dapper’s old sketchbooks, coloring together, the colored pencils you got him for Christmas scattered across the ledge. Blue hums a little, his foggy eyes seeming to clear, if only for a moment.

“Yeah, they’re here. They’re with me.”

Anonymous asked: dok, you good?

Dok is humming to himself, something you’re not sure you’ve ever heard him do. It is a discordant melody. His leg bounces in time with the beat. Trick doesn’t let himself look worried. He wraps his arms around Dok’s shoulders and pulls his body close. He expects Dok to go stiff and silent like he sometimes does. The best thing to do has always just been trying to bring him back down to earth.

“Yes, fine,” says Dok.

His face tightens with pain. Trick is hurting him from holding on too tight. But his twin doesn’t know he’s been beat, cut, and strung up by chain all within the last few nights, and he won’t let him know. He can’t. He can’t go upstairs again. He can’t stay upstairs again. There are spiders in the closet. There are spiders on his skin. He’s crying.

“I am right here,” says Trick, again and again, buried low against his shoulder, pushing you slightly away with his foot. “I am right here.”

“He’s going to come hurt me,” whimpers Dok, hiding against him. “Every night, I… I…”

“I think it’s ‘they,’ buddy,” Trick corrects him gently. “They won’t get you long as you’re in the house.”

Anonymous asked: Trick I know you mean well but I don't think anything you could say to Dok would make him feel better. Everything's a bit off but just... stay with him.

“That’s my job, to make him feel better,” whispers Trick, and something in his voice is wounded and aware. Something in his voice knows this is not wrong. “That’s my job…”

He leans back a little to look at him, but Dok just follows his body, chasing the side of his face with his own and pressing them back together like puzzle pieces stuck together in the box. Trick touches the back of his head.

“You are still a half a world away from me,” mourns Henrik, touching Trick’s wrist. “Wo ist mein zwilling?”

“Here,” protests Trick. “Hey, don’t say that, don’t, I… ich bin da. Always.”

Henrik thumbs at the pulse in his wrist.

Anonymous asked: trick, be gentle with him, okay? i don't think he wants to be squished right now. dok, you're gonna be okay. i know, it's scary and confusing and awful. but you're not in danger right now, bud. try to remember that, okay? you're not in danger right now.

Trick eases his grip around him, confused enough that he glances over to you for guidance. He strokes gently at his back. “It’s true. Not in danger.”

“Never feels that way anymore,” mumbles Dok. “Never.”

Trick bites down hard on his lip. He’s known Dok could probably use counseling for a long time, but it scares him every time he feels like he can hear Dok reading out of a DSM when he’s talking about himself. He scratches his fingers across his brother’s scalp.

“Tell me one thing I could do to make today better,” Trick urges him, trying to smile. “Yeah? If you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong or what’s going on, you don’t have to. I’ll just be here. Tell me instead something that’ll make tonight better, okay? Cause we got just about everything we want in this big ol’ house. Right?”

A smile pulls at Dok’s tired lips.

“Yeah, there. Come on. What’s something that could make right now better?”

“I don’t know,” says Dok. “I don’t know, I… I’m sorry, I don’t have ideas.”

Anonymous asked: blue, and i suppose everyone, do you wanna know something funny? dark is anti's Complicated lover haha

Did I say that Blue was exhausted? Have you seen the dark bags beneath his eyes, the aching way he holds himself, the leaning of his body against the thin strength of the cane? Have you seen Blue’s fatigue in every line of his skin?

Suddenly, he is wide awake.

“No. Fucking. Way!” You hear him cry, and immediately he’s laughing so hard he shakes Noodle on his chest. “Holy shit, holy shit!”

“That’s horrible,” cries Red. “Hey, don’t even joke about that! That thing looked like a goddamn skeleton!”

“No way, no way!” howls Blue. “Nooooo, that’s too funny, holy shit! Are you kidding me? No, how does Anti even pretend to be anything’s ‘lover?’ Holy cow… oh, I don’t want to imagine the things I’m imagining, hahaha!”

Dapper rolls his eyes so hard they might get stuck back there and gags.

Anonymous asked: maybe a blanket, or a bit of food, dok? or should we see if there's something else you'd like?

“I could build you a fort,” says Trick, grinning. “With pillows and blankets.”

Dok smiles at him, entertained by his enthusiasm. He shakes his head.

“No? I could… wrap you up like a burrito. With Noodle on top.” He pulls his cat off the bed and presents him to Dok. “Do you want to be all wrapped up with your Uncle, Noodle Pot?”

Noodle meows, sniffing at Dok’s face. Dok closes his eyes, feeling his whiskers across his cheeks.

“I could feed you, yeah, all you want,” says Trick, touching his brother’s ribs, proud to feel a little weight on his body again. He hates the magicians for a lot of things, but at least they fed him well. “There’s brownie mix in the cupboard, you know. I been saving it.”

Dok tilts his head, biting on his lip. “That… might be good.”

“Yeah?”

Dok nods, smiling.

“Come with me,” says Trick, leading him to his feet. “You can curl up in the loveseat and I’ll make you brownies, okay?”

Dok loves him.

“Yes,” he says. “Okay.”

Anonymous asked: just gonna throw this out there but trick uh, anti hurts him. you could help him by keeping him away from anti, and not mentioning him. if you don't believe us, look at his bruises

“Red and Dap are getting along,” says Trick. “Look at them, oh-so-secret, bent over their little book together.”

He almost wants to make fun of them - usually, that makes Dok laugh - but he can’t. Not at that. It’s… nice. It’s good.

“Good for Dapper not to be alone,” murmurs Dok, sitting in the loveseat as promised, petting Noodle luxuriously. His brother’s cat squirms his way up his body and rests against his neck, purring warmly. “And he isn’t the only one getting on better with Red.”

Trick glances back at his twin almost guiltily, stirring brownie mix and eggs and milk together. “I… don’t want to be at odds with him, I decided. We fight, but we’re brothers too.”

He pauses, pouring the mix into a pan. “That’s… okay, right?”

“Why would it not be okay?” asks Dok, confused.

“I don’t know. I just want it to be okay that I - that I sometimes - that you’re not the only person I love.”

Dok stares at him from the chair.

“Like - I want you to know you’re still important, even if I have other people. It doesn’t mean I love you any less if I love somebody else.”

Trick’s cheek stings suddenly. He startles, reaching up to touch his face. He can almost feel the indent of fingers against his skin. He doesn’t know why. It disturbs him.

“Hey, dummkopf,” says Dok, and he turns to see his brother staring warmly back at him.

“Love’s not brownie mix,” Dok tells him, grinning. “It doesn’t thin out as you spread it.”

Trick grins back at him, huffing out a laugh and popping open the fridge. “So what you’re saying is it’s more of a viscous Jello of some kind?”

“That sounds horrible.”

“You started it.”

“I don’t know what it is, I just know it’s not caramel cluster brownie mix.”

Trick laughs.

Dok’s voice has gone soft and earnest by the time he speaks again.

“You do not belong to anyone, my brother,” he says. “Your heart doesn’t. It was meant to be free.”

“You could write poetry for Blue,” answers Trick, only barely teasing. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Dok repeats, with feeling.

“What bruises?”

“What?”

Trick’s voice has changed in an instant, flinty and trembling. Dok looks up from Noodle, confused. Trick is staring at the camera. Then his eyes flicker over to Dok, hard. “What bruises, Dok?”

Dok pulls their cat closer to his stomach, shaking his head. He turns his eyes away from his twin.

“Why do you keep getting bruises? Show me.”

“No,” says Dok. “Leave it alone, Trickshot.”

Anonymous asked: hey, trick? please leave it be for now. come back to that later, maybe, but i think it would be good for you two to just hang out with each other and be happy for a bit.

Trick’s eyes flash between you and Dok, advancing on his brother. For a moment, he considers it - you see it in the uncertainty that crosses through his face.

But Trick, though he often forgets his aggressor, is, in many ways, fighting just as hard as Blue and Dok are. And he knows something is wrong.

“This is scary,” he says, his voice cracking. “Don’t you get that?”

Dok laughs loud and broken. “Do I get that? Do I?”

“This is the first time in my life you’ve kept something from me,” Trick keeps on. “Someone’s hurting you - or you’re hurting yourself. And you won’t tell me about it.”

“I need you to trust me - ”

“No, I need you to trust me!”

“Well, I don’t!” screams Dok, loud enough to startle Noodle off his lap. Their cat streaks away, racing back towards their room. “I don’t! You think I’m fucking hypnotized when you’re the one whose head is messed up! You wouldn’t believe me if I did tell you! I can’t count on you! I can’t trust you! Fuck, it’s like you’re not even my brother half the time!”

Trick’s mouth hangs open. His eyes aren’t even hurt - just horrified.

Dok hears himself breathing heavy. Hears the echo of the words like an afterimage on his tongue.

“I - I - ”

Trick can’t speak around his stammer. His hand flutters and comes to rest over his heart.

And then he regains himself again.

And he straightens up.

And he looks at Dok again, kneeling gently down beside him.

Dok feels his own eyes burn. He doesn’t even know why.

Trick touches the open palm of his hand and they breathe together, side-by-side.

Long minutes pass. Trick lets his anger and his hurt go.

Just like that. It doesn’t matter. He’s what matters. His zwilling.

When he pulls back the long sleeve of Dok’s torn coat and finds dark fingerprints in his wrist, Dok does not stop him. Trick rests his forehead against the bruises and grieves them.

“Just… tell me?”

Dok is threading his fingers through his hair. He doesn’t reply.

Anonymous asked: trick, please. i'm not gonna tell you what to do or not to do, but just,,, be aware? pushing dok on this will hurt both of you. like, emotionally. you're picking the scab on an infected wound here. do what you will, but think about what it is you want to do here

Trick sighs very long and very deep. He gives a shaken laugh. Doesn’t know why.

“Does someone know?” he whispers. “Someone who loves you?”

Dok nods.

“Yes, I promise.”

“Is it going to stop soon?”

Dok blinks and tears run down his cheeks. “I really hope so, my brother.”

Trick kisses his bruised wrist, resting his head against Dok’s lap.

“I want to take you to Singapore,” he says suddenly, curling his fingers around Dok’s. “I really think you would have liked it there. I thought about you every time I was happy. I could show you all the places I liked.”

“That would be fun,” says Dok. “I want to push you in the Lion fountain.”

“Ohhh, Dok,” says Trick, because what the fuck else is he meant to say? “Ohhh, Dok.”

He would like to give him worlds and worlds, but all he has are brownies.

Anonymous asked: dok, are you going to say? you don't have to though, love, it's an honest question.

“I just - I just want to see you trying to think for yourself again,” whispers Dok. “Please? It scares me when you don’t act like yourself. I think maybe, secretly, he’s suicidal or wanting to hurt himself again.”

“No, Dok, I feel good,” protests Trick, clutching at him. “I promise, I promise! I would tell you, I promise.”

“But there are these moments where you’re not okay. I keep seeing them! Like suddenly you’re freaking out and you need to break in half.”

“It’s just - I don’t know why that happens, but it never lasts long, bro, it never does.”

“I’m scared you’d get angry at me if I told you the truth,” admits Dok in a croak. “I’m scared I would see just how much you’re really not yourself. That maybe I would think you aren’t going to be yourself again.”

“Hey, stop,” answers Trick. “Look, that… don’t, that fucking stings. Don’t say shit like that. Like I’m losing you. Hey, it’s not fair. I’m trying to be a good brother.”

“I’m sorry.”

Trick rubs at his reddened face, sniffling as he gets up to check the brownies.

Dok turns away. “I think you already know who did this anyway,” he adds, so soft you’re not sure Trick hears it. “But it’s too terrible for you to admit.”

Whether or not he did, Trick doesn’t turn around. He is getting the brownies out of the oven. He doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t.

Maybe he didn’t hear it. Maybe.

“I think you already know,” repeats Dok, even quieter. “I think you do.”

Anonymous asked: hey, dok? you and trick and your other brothers will be okay. i know it might be hard to believe that, but don't lose hope, okay? you're gonna be okay. things will get better. i promise.

“Every time I look at him I think, over and over again, ‘I have to get him out of here, I have to get him out of here, I have to get him out of here,’“ says Dok in a hush. “It’s the worst part of the torture. I have to get him out of here. He doesn’t even know.”

He digs his fingernails into his palms and closes his eyes, trying to find his strength again, his hope, like you said.

“I don’t want to be tortured anymore,” he says, his voice creasing. “Things have to get better. I’m scared all the time. But we’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. We’ll get out of here. You promised, yeah? You promise…”

Anonymous asked: Hows the coloring coming guys?-Pink

“Good,” says Red cheerfully, bonking his head against Dapper’s as a sign of affection. Unfortunately, Dapper is not familiar with this form of affection, and he reels back like a startled cat, nearly falling off the windowsill. Red doesn’t notice. “Dap said I could color his old drawings since he never uses color. And I was like, bro, I don’t want to ruin your drawings! They’re yours! But he says he can hardly tell the difference and he doesn’t mind.”

“I have dozens of sketch books,” says Dapper. “These old ones aren’t even that good.”

“Hey, don’t be a dumb-ass,” protests Red, genuinely affronted on his behalf. “They’re really good!”

He holds up a black and white hummingbird. Color is seeping into its feathers, starting at the breast. Red is not particularly neat in his coloring, but his colors have an organization of their own to them, like he’s giving motion to the body of the bird.

“They’re all good!”

Red begins flipping through pages. A bear with its teeth showing. A city in Japan through a small window. Anti. A raccoon, a pinata, a half-dozen clocks, a dark figure with swept-back hair.

Red blinks.

Red stops.

Red stares.

“Hey,” he says. “Hey, that’s the Darkness.”

He stares up at Dapper. Dapper stares down at the floor, mouth twisted.

Eyes scared.

“Dapper? What’s going on?”

Anonymous asked: dap, do you feel like saying? it's okay if you don't, this is an extremely stressful situation and i think red will understand.

“Red, Anti won’t listen,” signs Dapper rapidly. “He doesn’t understand. For once, it’s not his fault, but he doesn’t.”

“If he won’t listen to you, that is his fault,” answers Red humorlessly, and you hear a little of his twin’s bitterness in his mouth.

“Be that as it may. You and me and - well, Max - ”

“Max,” repeats Red, for no reason at all.

“We’re the only ones who know about what I did!”

Red sighs, trying to think. “Slow down, slow down. You’re talking about… when you snapped?”

Dapper’s eyes are wide, soaking in moonlight. He nods once. “Do you remember?”

pine-storm-season asked: Could you elaborate, please, Dap? I don't think we really know what happened. You don't have to, though.

“We talked about it. How our old master forgot.”

Red’s eyebrows raise. “Right… Max said he went to see that guy, J - ”

Dapper shoves his hands over Red’s mouth, eyes wide. He pauses for a second before drawing away, making sure Red gets the message.

“Right,” says Red, flushed. “Guess that isn’t a safe name to say.”

“Our old master forgot us,” says Dapper. “Our creator. Even though he made us. When Anti got his hands on him, I was psychotic and I was scared for him. I snapped - and created a whole separate timeline from the correct one.”

“Right,” says Red. “Like a timeline where we shouldn’t even exist. Where none of us happened, so Anti can never hurt him. That’s why the cameras said there should be videos of us on that Youtube channel, but there aren’t. Because this is a different timeline.”

“Yes.”

“Dap, we better pray Anti is asleep.”

“He’ll just think we’re losing it if he hears us talking like this. But that’s the timeline we’re in now, Red - one where it’s like we never even existed.”

Red pauses, picking at his lip. “So no one would know we exist.”

“Right.”

“Even people we used to know, people we know we had connections with… to them, it’s like we never existed.”

“Right!” cries Dapper. “That’s what you have to remember me saying, or the rest doesn’t make sense. I snapped the timeline. That’s why our old creator doesn’t remember us. That’s why no one remembers us. Like we talked about at the motel in Colombia. Okay? So listen: I broke the timeline trying to protect our creator and I spliced different pieces together. Now, it’s like no one created us at all, like we just came to be. So no one remembers us at all, even if we think they should. Understand?”

Red laughs. “But, Dap, that’s not true!”

Dapper blinks, drawing back from him. “How do you mean?”

“People do remember us,” Red insists. And then, softer: “Max remembers me.”

Dapper looks away, thinking. He rubs at his mustache. Red can almost see his little brother’s brain whirring away like the inside of a computer.

“But… the old master doesn’t remember us.”

“Well, that’s not really true either,” says Red, making Dapper’s head snap up. “Remember? The way he reacted to Max coming to his door wasn’t normal. He didn’t act like Max was crazy. Max said he kept saying our names. Over and over and over.”

“Like he was trying to remember,” says Dapper uncertainly.

“Yeah.”

“Like, even though the timelines snapped…”

“There’s still some people who remember us. Even though it’s like we didn’t exist.”

“Why would they do that?”

Red shrugs, looking down at his hands, fidgeting. “Dap, I - when I found Max, it wasn’t like he was… new. I mean, I forgot everything about him, yeah. But it was still like… like he was a piece of me.”

Dapper looks down at his hands.

“Maybe,” he says after a moment. “Maybe it’s possible, that even though I broke the timeline and made it like we just popped into existence instead of being created… maybe there were some people who were so much a part of us, and us so much a part of them, that I couldn’t just take us away from them.”

“And they remember,” agrees Red softly. “Like we’re trying to remember. Like… girls who smell like cigarettes. Like Trick said. She’s a part of him no matter what happens and what Anti takes or what timelines you shift. Some things - some things don’t get erased. Not even by powerful magic. Some people are too important to forget even if you did snap the timeline.”

Dapper pulls at his beard, silenced by the realization. Red turns his head, peering out the window, where the great darkness of the forest waits, looking back at him.

“So the question is… was Anti important enough to Dark for them to remember him?”

Dapper curls his hands together over his heart, closing his eyes.

“And what will they do to us if they don’t?”

[holylulusworld]

The end of my empire

Summary: Dean Winchester, notorious mobster, lady killer – the man holding your life in his hands.

A/N: I had a request for a stripper!reader fic with Dean so here we go with a mini-series to this request. 

Pairing: Mobster!Reader x Stripper!Reader

Characters: Sam Winchester, Benny LaFitte, Charlie Bradbury, Bobby Singer, Cole Trenton, OFC’S

Warnings: angst, arguments, sad reader, Benny being a good bro, scared reader, hurt & comfort, mentions if injuries/knee pain, violence

A/N: Y/M/N = your mother’s name; Y/F/N = your father’s name

Explosive - Masterlist

“What else can we do to ease her pain? I had hoped that after she got over Nick that Y/N has a chance to become happy. Sadly, the ballet company didn’t give her a chance and now her career is completely ruined.” Your mother sniffles showing Bobby the result of your examination.

“Looks bad, Y/M/N. According to Alex, the damage is irreversible. The swelling and inflammation didn’t help, though. I should’ve ripped that boy a new one.” Bobby grumbles, remembering your shaking form when he arrived at your mothers’ shop.

“That man, she’s in love with him. We can help her with money, her knee, and everything else but healing her heart again is an impossible task.”

Your father holds back a sob when he looks at the picture of you in your tutu and ballet shoes. The picture he keeps in his wallet since you are five years old.

“She was so talented, and that bastard ruined everything.”

“We both know that Y/F/N, but what can I do? Nick lied and we could only arrest him for drunk driving. Y/N made the mistake to admit she urged her idjit of a boyfriend on to drive faster.” While your mother sighs, your father balls his hands into fists.

“I will kill that man if he ever gets close to my munchkin again. He has no right to come here and fake he wants to apologize for treating my girl like …” Crossing his arms over his chest your father’s features darken. “I will not repeat that word.”

“Dean Winchester is a dangerous man. He has clubs, money and according to the feds – he’s involved in a lot of more than shady deals.” Bobby opens a folder to show your father the information he got from Cole Trenton.

“I am not afraid of a bastard. At my best times, I ran three of those guys over. I will not cower for such a pathetic little shit.” Panting your father jumps up and your mother admires the gang tattoo at his right arm.

“Darling.” Your mother gently pats your fathers’ arm when she steps closer to him.

Even after being married for over 25 years, her heart flutters when her husband gets mad. It reminds her of his ‘wild times’. “It sounds like Dean Winchester is a mobster, not just a wild guy with a bike.”

“We all know Y/F/N, I and Rufus weren’t only youngsters with a bike, Y/M/N. Back then we did a lot of illegal stuff, you know that but…” Closing the manila folder Bobby sighs. “That agent, he said Dean is dangerous, even threaten to kill Y/N but…”

“But…?” Rage in his eyes your father glares at Bobby. “Why didn’t you arrest that monster?”

“Cole Trenton gives me bad vibes. The way he talked about that Winchester guy, the way he reacted when I told him about Y/N and that Dean came here to find her made my stomach churn. I do not trust that guy.”

Bobby finally gets up to place one hand onto your fathers’ shoulder. “I promise that the Winchester boy will not get the chance to hurt your girl, but we shouldn’t involve that fed.”

“I trust your guts, Bobby. If you are telling me the FBI guy is fishy, I believe you…”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” Robbing toward the edge of the bed you try to get up, but Dean holds you back. He can see you are in pain again and leaves the bed to pick you up. “Let me down I want to go to the bathroom.”

“I can help you with the toilette, Sweetheart.” Face deadpan, lips pressed into a thin line you glare at Dean. “No problem.”

“I want to have a warm bath to help my knee relax. I can do it alone…” Grumbling you rub your hand over your knee. “Mom helps me when she’s around.”

“I can do this too, Baby Girl. Let me help you, please. I’ll do anything to make you feel better.”

“Let me go and never come back – this makes me feel better.” Your eyes fill with tears, but you refuse to let them out. “You damaged me enough. Just look for another girl you can play with.”

“I never played with you, Y/N. Yes, I was an idiot, a monster, and the man hurting you but please believe me it was only as I never could trust anyone but my brother and myself. All women, friends, and even family turned me down for a few bugs.”

“My mom will strike you down with a pan again. Dad will run you over with his bike and Uncle Bobby will arrest your ass.” Arms crossed over your chest; lips pursed you groan as Dean carries you into the bathroom.

“I thought about what you said, Y/N. Maybe it’s time that I give up something important. I could give up my clubs and give them to Sammy. He was better at running the business from the beginning.”

Silent you do not react to Dean’s words. All you do is to grasp for the washbasin when Dean carefully places you onto your feet. “Wait, I’ll run the bath and help you undress…”

“Forget it! I will not let you help me undress.” Your eyes narrow and you slap his cheek harshly, only to lose balance and end up in his arms again.

“I hate you! You’re like Nick. He promised to love me, promised he would never even look at another girl. But then I got hurt and he replaced me with another girl in a blink of an eye.“

“Baby Girl, I did not replace you. All those months I was sulking in my room and slept on your side of the bed. I desperately tried to forget you but…” Pressing his lips to your hair Dean sighs. “I can’t forget my fairy. If you give me the chance, I’ll prove I can be the man you want, the one you deserve.”

“Dean, just let me go. I can never believe anything you say as when I needed you the most, you weren’t there. Even worse, you caused more pain than anyone before.” When you hear the front door, you panic. “My parents are back; you need to go.”

“I’ll not leave you alone. Whatever your mom wants to do with the pan to me, I’ll bear it.” Dean states but you push against his chest. “I’ll stay in town no matter what you say.”

“Fine. We can talk tomorrow but now go!”

“I’ll be there, Sweetheart…” Dean lifts you easily to help you sit on the edge of the bathtub. “Shame you didn’t let me undress you…”

You do not smile or look at Dean, but you toss a bottle of shampoo at him and he smirks. “Love you too, Y/N…”

“Hello, Ms. Y/L/N.” Your blood freezes and your hands start to shake when Cole Trenton out of all people stands in your mother’s café.

“I’d like to continue our conversation from a few months ago. We still haven’t found Mr. Winchester's latest victim but it’s only a matter of time.”

“Get out of my mom’s café and this town! You ruined everything. Dean he…he got mad and hurt me. You ruined my relationship; my knee and my job now leave town, or I’ll call my Uncle Bobby!”

Limping toward your purse you want to call Bobby, but Cole grasps your arm harshly and your mother drops a plate with pie.

“Let my daughter go! Do you have no manners? Grabbing a girl who can barely stand on her injured leg. You…you monster!”

Ready to attack Cole your mother grabs her rolling pin, ready to split his head but the door swings open and Dean, followed by Benny and Sam steps into the café.

“I think,” Dean dips his head, glaring at Cole. “The friendly lady said you shall let go of her daughter. If you are here to arrest me, do so. If not shove your ass out of the store and keep your hands off my girl.” While Benny pats his gun, Dean and Sam step closer to Cole.

“Last warning, Mr. Trenton, or shall I call you fake agent?” Charlie peeks out from behind Sam, waving at you. “Hi! I am Charlie.”

“Fake agent?” Gaping at Cole who still won’t let go of your arm you sniffle. “Let go of me!”

“What the…!” Bobby’s eyes dart from Benny who’s ready to shoot Cole to the agent holding your arm in a painfully tight grip to Dean who looks like he wants to rip Cole’s throat out with his teeth.

“I am Sheriff Singer, and this is my town. Let go of miss Y/L/N or I need to arrest you.”

“I am a federal agent.” Bobby huffs, recognizing Cole’s face.

“I don’t care if you are the Queen of England. This is my town, the girl you are hurting is my goddaughter and I am sure the gentlemen next to me would gladly help me get you out of this nice establishment.”

Reluctantly Cole let go of you and Dean lunges forward to slam his fist into the grinning agent's face.

“That wasn’t smart, Winchester.” Dean doesn’t care Cole snickers, nor does he flinch when the agent gets his handcuffs out. “I will arrest you for…”

Dean carefully picks you up to bring you away from Cole who tries to end his speech but Sam and Benny step closer, along with a pissed Bobby Singer.

“I think you did not understand me. I’ll explain it to you as if you are a toddler.” Bobby checks on you in Dean’s arms, a soft smile on his lips as you hide your face in Dean’s chest.

“This is my town. This is my territory and you dared to lay a finger on my goddaughter. According to your boss, the case against Mr. Winchester is one big lie.

You and your lovely fake witness Lisa Braeden tried to create a case against him and threatened my goddaughter. I saw the video you vulture dared to touch her during an interrogation. I talked your boss and he said I can arrest you if you are stupid enough to get close to Y/N.”

While Cole follows Bobby outside, a dark look on his face when his boss exits his car your mother tightens the grip on her rolling pin as she steps toward Dean who refuses to let you down.

“I’ll give you ten seconds to let go of my daughter or I swear I’ll rip you a new one.” Benny snickers while Sam takes a step backward.

“One…”

“Ma’am, I can assure you I will not hurt Y/N.” Dean gasps when your mother pokes the end of the rolling pin into his bicep.

“Two…”

“Please, I apologized and will do anything Y/N wants as I love her. I…I made a terrible mistake but I called my brother and friends to show my Sweethart, that I want to change and give up my old life.” Your mother gives Dean a disapproving grunt before she pokes him again.

“Three…”

“Dude, maybe you should let Y/N down and talk to her later. That asshole got arrested and we will stay in town for a few days…” Sam tries but Dean presses you closer to his chest.

“No…” He’s eyeing the rolling pin warily, gulps even when your mother swings it.

“Four…”

“Mrs. Y/L/N, I love your daughter. Maybe I do not deserve forgiveness, no that’s sure but I’ll do anything to get her back. You can hit me hard with that thing but I’ll not let her go.” Dean presses a soft kiss to your hair and you stir in his arms.

“Five…” Blinking Dean carefully places you onto a chair, covering your shaking form with his jacket before he nods at your mother.

“Do it!”

“I am not joking you…you bad guy.” Poking the rolling pin into Dean’s chest your mother keeps an eye on the mobster while she tries to check on your arm. “I should have hit that bastard.”

“I am sure he will get what he deserves, ma’am. Do you mind if we order some pie?” Benny rumbles.

“Pie...” Dean looks at the pie, licking his lips while your mother keeps him at arm's length with the rolling pin.

“Sammy?” Looking for help, advice, or anything to keep your mother from killing him Dean glances at his brother.

“Sorry, Dean but this is your problem.”

Benny smirks while he walks toward the counter to order pie for Sam, Charlie, and himself. “I want pie too.” Whining Dean looks at the pie. “I love me some pie.”

“Rules, Winchester.” Your mother looks at you with worried eyes when you finally speak. “I want to live here. I will not leave and if you want me, you’ll have to stay here with me.”

“Will I get free pie?” Angrily poking Dean’s chest your mother shakes her head. “You’ll have to pay for it, idjit.”

“What else do you want? Maybe I can help you with fulfilling your dream…” Dean looks at your knee and you need to stifle a sob.

“It’s ruined, always was. There is no dream left…but…”

“But…?” Dean kneels to grasp for your hand. “What dream? Tell me and I’ll help you…”

“I want to save the dance school in town. I learned to dance with Mrs. Carson and always imagined becoming like her. A retired ballerina teaching young girls and boys how to dance.”

Looking at your knee you sniffle silently. “Guess I am not allowed to call me a ballerina…not even a retired one.”

“I’ll buy it for you. We can do together. I am the big bad guy making sure that no one messes with our school and you can teach the girls.” Dean exclaims while you downcast your eyes.

“It’s just a stupid dream, nothing worth trying.”

“No…no. It’s your dream, Sweetheart. I’ll buy the school and every fucking pie in this café. We will make it…please…” He’s picking you up in bridal style, a smug grin on his face. “Mrs. Y/L/N I’ll kidnap your daughter to have a look at the school.”

“It’s a rotten building and no one dances…” Your mother stops talking when you look up at Dean who tells you he’ll make sure the dance school will be yours.

“Can you tell me where to rent an apartment? I’d like to not sleep at that motel or my car again.” Hopefully looking at your mother Dean gives her his most charming smile.

“We don’t have free apartments. Only this huge house at the end of the street, but that’s for sale and expensive.” Humming you smile.

“I liked to sneak through the fence and have a look at the house. I was huge and they had a backyard with roses and other flowers. It was nice…”

“You liked it?” Dean looks at your happy face and he knows; you love the memory of the house.

“My friends and I imagined what it looks like inside and sneak in one day. There was this fireplace as high as the whole living room and shelves full of books. It looked like in a fairytale.”

“I’ll buy it for you, and we can restore it…” Not accepting any argument Dean looks at the cherry pie. “We will eat the pie and we’ll look at the houses later. Your mom can come with us to witness that I’ll not hurt you.”

“We shouldn’t, Dean. You should go back to your life.”

“No. My life is empty and loveless without you, Sweetheart. If I have to live in this small town, run a dance school and buy a house straight out of a fairytale, so be it. Dean Winchester will retire…which means…”

“Which means?” Your mother cocks a brow, still the rolling pin in her hands.

“This is the end of my empire…”

Tags in reblog.

[bamon4bamily]

TVD 9x16 - What happens in Vegas... (part 2 of part 1) Enjoy! =)

Cut to – The hospital location.  As soon as they arrive, they figure they must have made some kind of mistake. It is in fact a Psychiatric Hospital, but it looks like it has been abandoned for years.

UBER DRIVER: Looks like you might have the wrong address…

KAI: It’s the right address, look (shows Damon his phone with last night’s route).

DAMON: Guess it is…

UBER DRIVER: Are you sure you guys want me to leave you here?

IKER: Trust us, man, after last night, it can’t get any crazier.

UBER DRIVER: If you say so. Good luck! (Drives away).

ALARIC: (Looking at the creepy place, already regretting whatever they did there the previous night) Why?! Why on earth would we come here!

DAMON: Guessing princess bride here (referring to Kai), had something to do with that.

IKER: There is no way that call came from here...

DAMON: Let’s check it out. We’ll do it fast, in and out; just to make sure Stefan isn’t passed out somewhere inside.

ALARIC: I’m getting too old for this shit…

DAMON: Oh, come on, Ric! Think of it as another one of your Indiana Jones adventures (mocking him for the photos he took in cosplay), the Last Crusade, if you like.

ALARIC: Shut up…

They go inside… the place is straight out of a horror movie.

 IKER: Okay, I’m officially creeped out.

DAMON: I say we split up; it’ll be faster and we can cover more ground.

KAI: Have you ever seen a horror movie? That’s exactly the kind of decision that gets everybody killed… Trust me, I would know.

DAMON: Fine, Michael Myers, you can come with me. 

We’ll look this way... Iker, you and Ric can search down that corridor.

IKER: Sounds like a plan. But, 20 minutes max, then we meet back here.

DAMON: 20 tops. (Teasing, as him and Kai are walking away) Oh, and watch out for the killer clown…

IKER: Yo, don’t play with that shit, man! You know I hate clowns...

ALARIC: So do you, Damon. So, if anyone is pissing their pants, my money is on you. 

(Damon and Kai walk towards one direction, Iker and Alaric, towards another).

KAI: Do you really think Stefan is here? I mean, I know he’s dark and gloomy, but this is a bit extreme… even for me.

DAMON: The only reason we are here is because your crazy ass is definitely responsible for dragging us here last night.

KAI: Yeah, probably… but still, creepy AF…

DAMON: Now you know how we feel when you’re around. But… what I am really intrigued about, is how the hell you joined our little party.

You must remember at least getting on a plane or something...  

KAI: No… Last thing I remember, I was taking a nap, and then… puff! I woke up here…

DAMON: You couldn’t have driven; so how the hell did you get here… Makes no sense.

KAI: Ooh…! What if I can do that Bonster trick?! That’d be freakin awesome!

DAMON: Of course you can’t, that’s stupid. Unless… No, no, I refuse to believe that…

KAI: What? You think Bonster...? Hey, it makes more sense than the alternatives…

DAMON: No way! Hell no! Let’s just drop this little mystery of ours and do what we came here to do… (they continue searching; suddenly, he stops dead in his tracks) Shhhhh, do you hear that?

KAI: What? No…

DAMON: Listen…

KAI: I am! I don’t hear anything…

DAMON: I thought you had vamp hearing…. Listen harder.

KAI: (Standing completely still and in total silence, trying to listen…)

DAMON: (Does a vamp speed trick, scares the shit out of Kai) Killer clown!

KAI: Jesus mother of Christ! (Damon cracks up) Not funny, asshole! 

I literally almost shit myself! And, I’m hung over, so that was a real possibility!  

DAMON: Ew, no, no, no… you’re disgusting.

KAI: Just being honest… don’t act like you don’t know what that’s about.

DAMON: Yeah, no... definitely not having this conversation! 

Come on, let’s pick up the paste; vamp speed our way through this place before we become the victims of the “based on a true story” Saw movie.

Cut to – Iker and Alaric

 ALARIC: Sorry we got you into this mess, man.

IKER: No worries. I’m used to it. These types of situations pretty much sums up what it’s like being friends with Damon.

ALARIC: Tell me about it. My life said goodbye to “normal” the day we became friends.

IKER: Ditto (they laugh in complicity).

ALARIC: He’s a good guy, though. I mean, considering…

IKER: He is… I’m really glad Bonnie gave him a chance; never seen him this happy… like, really happy.

ALARIC: Me neither… I think we both know he wasn’t truly happy with Elena. Don’t tell her I said that… but no matter how hard they tried; it just wasn’t going to work; too messy. Gotta say, it’s kind of ironic that when he “got the girl”, turned out it wasn’t the “right girl” … After all his love drama, it was about time he finally found “the one”.

IKER: It sure was… Hey, man, look…  (spots something strange ahead, vamps to it. It’s a black garbage bag; which wouldn’t be all that strange if it weren’t new). Check this out… (Alaric opens the bag, and starts taking memorabilia from iconic Britney Spears videos, which are clearly originals) What the…

ALARIC: I’m starting to believe Stefan wasn’t kidding…

IKER: Nah… you don’t think… Can’t be, right?!

ALARIC: When those two (referring to Damon and Stefan) team-up, anything is possible, so… maybe?

IKER: Oh, shit! This is getting crazier than I thought!

ALARIC: Straight out insane. Let’s go back. I’m pretty sure Stefan isn’t here, and this place is giving me the chills.

IKER: Me too… (they head back to the meeting point).

Cut back to Kai and Damon.

 KAI: We’ve searched everywhere, I really don’t think he’s here…

DAMON: You’re right. Another dead end; let’s go back. (Just as they are about to turn around, Damon spots something) Wait… do you see that?

KAI: Hell no! I’m not falling again.

DAMON: No, I’m serious. Look... (they see something shiny. Damon takes a closer look, picks it up) It’s Donovan’s badge.

KAI: So, they were definitely here with us…Anything else?

DAMON: Nop, just the badge.

KAI: Well, let’s head back, see what we all make of it. This place is really starting to freak me out… the vibes, you know?

DAMON: Yeah, I know… (they speed vamp back to the meeting point and reunite with Alaric and Iker).

ALARIC: Find anything? Cause we did…

DAMON: Stefan?!

ALARIC: No, this (shows him the bag with the memorabilia).

DAMON: What is all this?

IKER: (Teasing) You know perfectly well what it is…

KAI: All too well, sweetheart.

DAMON: At least I didn’t get married in a tutu, princess.

KAI: That princess thing got old like an hour ago. You really need to start thinking outside the box, Damon.

DAMON: That’s right! Yes! A box! I remember a box!

ALARIC: Great! And…?

DAMON: That’s it, that’s all I got.

ALARIC: (Sarcastic) Very helpful, Damon.

DAMON: Well, we also found this… (shows them Matt’s badge)

ALARIC: Interesting… still not a lot to go on, but that confirms we were all here. Listen, guys, I may have a theory…I still don’t know how, or why, but I believe we actually did go to Britney’s house, the real Britney; at some point during the night…Look at the props; they don’t seem fake… Which brings me to the conclusion, that we must have stolen them from her house. Now, as for why? … I have no fucking idea, and I can live without knowing…

KAI: The Britney Spears?! Nah, there’s no way we would be able to break into her house!

DAMON: But what if we didn’t break in… What if, and just hear me out on this, Sheriff Donovan pulled the cop card… and that’s how they let us in.

ALARIC: Matt wouldn’t do that.

DAMON: Maybe not sober, but…

ALARIC: Still, they wouldn’t have let a wasted cop and his pals in for some tea.

KAI: But if we sneaked in… let’s say, hiding inside a police car?

IKER: A police car! Yes! I told you I remembered something about a police car; it was one of those suv ones…

DAMON: We must have stolen one…

IKER: Wouldn’t be a long shot.

DAMON: Don’t those things have trackers though? They would have found us in seconds.

KAI: Not if you know how to disable a tracking device… which I do.

DAMON: Why am I not surprised…

KAI: I had a lot of time on my hands, figured I’d learn a trick or two.

ALARIC: Okay, this is getting even more confusing. I say we go back to the villa, for all we know Stefan might be back. We can check the hotel parking lot, see if we find a stolen cop car; work it from there.

KAI: Agreed. We really need to get out of this place; freaking me TF out. Uber’s on me. 

(They wait for a while, until their uber arrives. As they drive away, on one of the top floor windows, a freaky clown waves goodbye).

Cut to – The boy’s hotel villa. They walk inside, and hear the piano playing…

 DAMON: It’s that damn monkey! (They walk into the living room, only to find Britney Spears, in the flesh, playing the piano).

BRITNEY: Hello, boys…

KAI: Britney…the Britney Spears…?

BRITNEY: The one and only…

KAI: (Totally fanboying) Oh my god! 

DAMON: (Totally fanboying too) OMG! OMG! OMG! It’s Britney, bitches!

BRITNEY: Aw, you’re  sweet… 

(takes a gun out of her purse and points it at them). Now, shut the fuck up and tell me where the hell is the rest of my stuff!!

ALARIC: Wow, wow, wow… please, don’t shoot! It’s right here (hands her the bag, she looks through it).

BRITNEY: You’re lucky I like to handle somethings on my own. You’d all be dead if my security were involved…

DAMON: (Still fanboying) Lucky… I love that song!

BRITNEY: Now, where is Stefan? We need to settle this little feud of ours, once and for all.

ALARIC: Wouldn’t we all like to know…

BRITNEY: What do you mean? He was with you (referring to Damon), the cop, and the howling boy, at my house last night.

DAMON: Wait, so, neither of these guys were there with us?

BRITNEY: No… but if you had brought him (referring to Iker), maybe things could have turned out differently (winks at Iker).

Tell you what, boys, I’ll help you find him. As long as you help me get my long-awaited trophy win, on “Mr. Bon Jovi”.

DAMON: Wait… so that concert story; that was you? 

I thought Stefan was messing with me!

BRITNEY: Oh, that was me… Prick made me think he was Bon Jovi, I was totally fangirling, so embarrassing. That was before I got really famous, and I met the real John. Made me feel like a fool when I told John we had met before, and he was like: “uhm, no we haven’t”. So, as you can understand, it was only fitting that I would get him back for that.

DAMON: I’m with you, Brit, Stefan is a dick!

ALARIC: Can you give us any insight on what happened at your place? Might help us figure out where he is.

BRITNEY: I know from my security cameras that they used a police suv to gain access. Then you (referring to Damon), did some weird eye thing to my security team, and they just stood there, doing nothing. I also know from the cameras, that Stefan took my babies Justi and Kevi (referring to the baby elephant and the monkey). And you (to Damon), stole the memorabilia I had from my videos… My red leather suit better be intact, or I’mma kill you!

DAMON: Oops…

IKER: Don’t you dare say: “I did it again”...

BRITNEY: Wait… I think I might know where he is… Back when we first met, we were here, in Vegas. He took me to this spot in the desert he liked to go to; he’s such a weirdo… Anyway, maybe he went there? You know, for old times’ sake…

ALARIC: Maybe… but it’s gonna be hard to find a “spot” in the middle of the desert, and we don’t have much time; our plane is leaving in like 3 hours.

BRITNEY: Well, if you want to go back home with the rest of your pack, you really don’t have much of a choice.

KAI: There’s no way we are going to find him if he is in the middle of the desert.

BRITNEY: It’s Britney, bitch! 

Of course we’ll find him. Listen, you boys take the cop van and follow mine, I’ll lead you to the spot.

IKER: Except, we don’t know where it is…

BRITNEY: (Smirks) But I do… (shows them live cctv footage from inside the cop car) See, boys, I have eyes everywhere! It’s in the parking lot.

 (They go to the car and find Matt and Tyler inside, a cellphone in Matts hand, and a lot of empty bottles lying around. As expected, neither of them remember anything about the previous night; it’s a miracle they even know who they are. The only thing they keep repeating, and cracking up about is, Rawson Neal Psychiatric Hospital. They are clearly either still drunk or high on something. They decide it’s best they stay behind and get some rest in the villa. Damon, Iker, Alaric and Kai get in the cop car, and follow Britney to the site.)

 BRITNEY: Okay, boys, this is the spot.  (They get out of the car, start looking around. She get’s out as well, points the gun at them). Did you really think I was going to help you?! Aw, cuties…no one messes with the Brit! I gave Stefan his, now it’s time for yours …

KAI: But, Britney, what about us (referring to himself, Iker, and Alaric)? We didn’t do anything!

BRITNEY: Guilty by association… Now, give me your clothes, and the car keys… Quick, or I swear I’ll shoot! (They hand her the stuff; she gets in her car. Just as she is about to take-off, she opens her window) If you want to know where Stefan is; it’s easy, he’s exactly where he belongs… Good luck trying to find an uber to pick you up here… And, by the way, sweetheart (talking to Damon), there’s only one princess of pop, and it ain’t you. 

(Gives them the finger, and drives away).

DAMON: (Looking heartbroken) But… Britney…

ALARIC: (Sarcastic) Well, isn’t this peachy!

IKER: At least she left us our phones.

ALARIC: There is no way we are going to catch that flight, or find Stefan any time soon. I think it’s time to call Caroline…

DAMON: Shit! Shit! Shit!... Fine… I’ll do it… (dials). Care, it’s Damon… Listen ...The bachelor party got a little crazy and, well...we lost Stefan.

BONNIE: Uhm…think we might have a problem of our own…

DAMON: Bon?

BONNIE: It’s me, I think… Anyway; the bachelorette got a little crazy too, and, well… we lost Caroline.

TVD 9x16 (part 2) coming next! Hope you stop by, read and enjoy! =)

[blondrichclosetwitch]

A month after a baby was sucked out of my womb, jakk & i had a date to see animal collective. I had come from a place where my friends breathed their album for the last 3 years. My ex-boyfriend, the abusive asshole who everyone took as having aspergers, used to want to do triple charged nitrous hits to it while laying side by side. I would watch his eyes emit rage the deeper he went, followed by him usually yelling a mantra of love or hatred. It depended on where he went.

I wasn’t really into hate, so i learned to hold my breath & submit. Truth is, i’m not subby. Sometimes i would play a role. Do whatever the moment called for. Anything to avoid a raised voice. Now, looking back, i think that’s a dissociative reaction to flashbacks, which i had a lot of.

Random, my teacher, noticed i couldn’t sit still in 2006. I would drive 90 minutes to bring him and myrth a raspberry cobbler, get a call from work, and would be gone in 15 minutes. In that sense, sometimes i think i needed to get hit by a car to smack me into staying…...in my body, that is.

Jakk flaked & animal collective cancelled for some reason. My roommate, who had been a stranger up to that point, fed me some intoxicant in lieu.

One of the songs out of all the songs that i resonated the most with in the 2010’s was in the flowers. This was way before my nature phase, but something had always lit up in me when it came to dancing. I was in ballet at age 6 until my mother broke her leg helping some one push their car out of a chicago blizzard; that is my mother in a nutshell, damaging herself so intent on helping someone else. End of ballet.

I have this moment from my first burn that sticks in my mind. I had just watched them blow up a rig, and it was the strongest firewind that i had ever known. I was in a pink tutu and a sequined white sleeveless shirt with a boyfriend who would be but an unpleasant blip on my screen. Smalltown boy started to play, and i danced. By myself.

Sometimes when i look at that moment, i see that version of myself dance in front of that fire in the third person.

She stops.

Sees me.

Walks towards me.

She takes my hands, and she becomes like a hologram, walking into my body. Merging body & soul.

When I was fighting for my sanity back in 2020, this moment kept appearing to me. Somewhere along the way, I started to understand that it was about freedom.

There was a time when I was singing to psychic jakk in spring 2017, and suddenly this song came on. I hadn’t heard it in a long time, and i danced in front of him. I had that same experience; though there were no humans in the room with me, i knew i was as free as the dancer in that field.

And he felt like the singer; caught in his worldly concerns, unable to access the freedom in those bars of music. I felt him so strongly that day.

I can’t get to you yet, but one day i will. One day i’ll be as free as you. That’s what he seemed to say.

On my birthday, when we hadn’t yet known each other a year but had already almost had a child, i left a pink gerber daisy on his bike.

“I left flowers for you there.”

Two years later, when blond started leaving me flowers, i remembered this song, and dancing for an invisible boyfriend, and me, ceaselessly waiting for him to show up in the field.

[yourholidaymom]

Your Holiday Mom: Mama Ro

I am SO excited to have you with us for the holidays. We celebrate anything and everything here at the House of Creative Mayhem. You’ll be joining me, Ro, a purple-haired mama, and two of my three kids. Connor is 20, spends a lot of time playing video games, and is absolutely hilarious. He is on the autism spectrum, and sees things a little differently than everybody else, which makes him a wonderful person to know. He says if you like to game, you can play Team Fortress 2 with him, but if you don’t want to talk, he understands. My middle child, Ron, (24) is gender queer, and will be bringing their partner, Greg to dinner. They’re both gamers, too. And vegans,, which means I have to get creative with my cooking. I still make turkey, but I get creative with the side dishes and make a field roast for them, which is a vegan thing made from mushrooms and stuff. My oldest son lives in a nearby city with my granddaughter, but they are busy and probably won’t be able to make it. Could be a surprise visit, though, so prepare to hang out with a four-year-old. She and I will probably put on our matching tutus that I made for us. If you want one, I’ll make one for you, too. Or not. Your choice, of course.

I hope you love dogs, because I have a rescue pit bull named Lord Jasper Bighead, Earl of Fartsalot. I’ve had him for about 2 and a half years now, and he’s the love of my life. Nobody knows where he came from or how old he is, but this is his home for life now. I take him with me everywhere I can. Dogs are good company. They just give out love, and take as much love as you give them. And believe me, I can give a LOT of love. He also loves food. I’ll give you treats to give him and he will adore you.

So my birthday is right before the winter Solstice, and we’ll celebrate that with me taking everyone out to dinner. We’ll have to figure out someplace that has food we all love. I am wondering about your favorite foods and how to make sure you get them. Let’s sit in front of the fire and talk about it. While we talk, I’ll make art. I create weird things out of stuff other people throw away. Sometimes I call myself the Queen of the Trash Fairies. I also take in people who have no where to go, like my friend Chuck, who has been homeless for decades. He camps in my yard now, so criminals and homeless sweeps can’t disrupt his life. And of course I will be inviting all kinds of friends over for dinners throughout the winter months. It’s fun to gather in the warmth and light of home when it’s cold and rainy outside, isn’t it?

I’m really hoping you will spend some time making art with me. I have a gazillion different supplies. I’ve got paints, collage stuff, sharpies, jewelry-making supplies, clay, several guitars (I write protest songs, among other things. I’m what you’d call a social justice warrior and I will never understand why some people consider that an insult. Silly.) and of course, lots of journals and pens, because I’m also a writer. So, you know, whatever you like to do creatively, I bet we can do a lot of it while you’re here.

Can we have a serious talk about something? Being the parent of two queer kids, and being queer myself, I know full well how hard it can be. I spent a loooooot of years trying to fit in and be like everybody else. (news flash, it didn’t work!) Now that I’m older, I don’t even try to hide who I am, and I have found SO many people who love me exactly as I am. My friends celebrate my weirdness, which includes a love of puns, wearing dresses (never pants, ever), studying sword fighting, building an art studio in my yard that is made out of tires, custom painting my shoes… the people I know LOVE these things about me. And they love me even when my depression and anxiety keep me from being in contact very often. They just love **me,** exactly as I am, and exactly as I am not. I am sure that if you haven’t found your people yet, that you will. Just keep shining your bright self and the right people will come to you. Like me and my family. We’re your people! You’re our people. Isn’t that glorious?

Oh, I forgot to mention the house… I ilve in a pink house. The inside is painted just about every color you can imagine. There’s not a beige wall anywhere, so I hope you’re ready to experience a lot of color, because that is exactly what we have here!

What do you want to do while you’re here? We can play games. I have a bunch of fun ones, Cards Against Humanity, of course, Pictionary, Scattergories, the kind of games that rely on thinking outside the box. Or even thinking like you never believed there was a box to begin with! Or we can go for a walk with the dog at the lake nearby. Or we can go downtown and check out the holiday decorations. They have a lot of brass bands and carolers. We could join in the carols if you want. (I will want to, guaranteed. I love to sing. I’m not very good, but I have fun. Of course, I wouldn’t insist that you do anything you don’t want to) Oh, that has me thinking about popcorn. I don’t know why. I want popcorn with tons of butter, while we’re in front of the fire talking. You get to pick the music. I wonder what we’ll listen to first. I bet you’ll introduce me to things I’ve never heard before, too, won’t you?

Listen to me, you precious, wonderful being… I love you and I am so glad you’re here with us. You make everything more fun,more meaningful. This is the best year ever, because you’re here. Now, what do you want to do first?

Love your face, Mama Ro

PS OMG, I completely forgot about baking. There will be sooooo much baking. What’s your favorite cookie? Do you want to learn to bake bread? Make pies?

PSS This silly picture of me is my Halloween costume, Steampunk Peacock. What should I be next year?

** This year we are reprising your favorite letters. The original post date of this letter was Dec 08, 2019.

Your Holiday Mom: Mama Ro was originally published on Your Holiday Mom

[sunsetcurve]

THE POST FINALE HENRY DANGER OPINIONS TAG:

thank you for the tag @chenryhart , @ginger--binger , and @henryhearts ! (i used eliza’s version because it had more questions lol)

Who was your overall favourite member of Team Danger and why? i will never be able to decide between charlotte and henry (it’s called being bisexual). i relate to charlotte a lot, and she’s a role model for me; she’s smart, she’s bold, she knows what she wants and i really love her for it. henry, on the other hand—there are moments when i’ve disliked him but i’ve watched him grow up, i’ve watched him be a hero for so long and i do still admire him a lot. he’s brave and loyal and he cares so much about people, like i’ll honestly just be soft for him forever. 

Who was your favourite non-team danger character and why? gonna have to go with bose and mika (who count, right?) because they’re both so pure and enthusiastic and i can’t wait to see more of them

Who was your favourite villain and why? definitely twitler. i think he was the only villain that had actual motivation, and he was definitely the least cringey of all of them. he set up high stakes and challenged team danger a lot.

What were your top five favourite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why? ooh, good one. okay i think the finale is my all-time favorite. it just really was the culmination of the core of this show and there were so many amazing moments between all the characters. the actors and writers delivered so hard. second would have to be back to the danger because that episode was solid start to finish. i love the high-stakes episodes, and the time travel was a really cool aspect. third would probably be the three-parter, because again, i love the high stakes episodes, and that one really brought it. fourth would be broken armed and dangerous because it was completely hilarious. and fifth would probably have to be either double o danger, because i loved getting to see them all dressed up and undercover and joss moss was awesome, or i dream of danger because it was charlotte centric and also chenry. honorable mention to danger games entirely because of that scene where all four game shakers fall in love with henry at once. 

What were your top five least favourite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why? not a fan of henry’s birthday because i can’t watch it without getting incredibly pissed; like it’s a well-made episode i just get really upset while watching it. i hated man of the house because the whole ray trying to get with henry’s mom made me suuuper uncomfortable. i did not like one henry three girls because the cheating plot was not it for me, or sick and wired for the same reason as henry’s birthday, and also because that was definitely the episode where dad!ray started to disappear. and captain mom because...nope.

What was your favourite running gag and why? oh god i have so many that i made a full post about this. the hmm thing was awesome, especially the fact that they acknowledged it. i also love the “piper has a license—established” joke 

What was your favourite one-off throw away gag and why? gonna steal @henryhearts answer here and say the cat universe that respected charlotte; also bringing back the bro song from the musical that one time.

What episode, which character and which duo made you laugh the most? episode would definitely be broken armed and dangerous. laugh after laugh. the arm fashion show? the part where henry’s like “i’m plum-tuckered!”? the sign language interpreter? peak. character would be henry because i LOVE the way he reacts to stuff, like when he does his little *hand clasp* “there is something wrong with you” or like “dude, dude, dude, dude, dude—”. duo would probably be ray and henry because bose was right, their banter is hilarious.

What episode, which character and which duo made you the most emotional? episode would be the finale, and i feel like i don’t have to explain myself there. character would also be henry, like, the whole “i was thirteen!” thing and the fact that he’s given so much to this makes me want to cry sometimes. duo would be chenry because they’ve been together since the beginning and i have way too many feelings about them.

How would you rank each season from 1 to 5, one being the best and five being the worst? this is difficult, because i think season 5 is my favorite overall because of it had so many solid episodes and high stakes and good plots, but there were also sooo many things i didn’t like. still! i think it takes the top spot. after that would be season 2, just because it was really fun and fresh and in that stage where they’d started to figure things out as a show but weren’t getting cocky just yet. then probably season 3, then 1, then 4, because that season didn’t really have anything that stood out to me besides back to the danger. 

Who was your favourite duo in the show (romantic or non-romantic)? chenry, but hensper and chasper were both very close seconds

What was your favourite Henry and Ray moment/episode? blimp scene and i don’t think it’s necessary for me to elaborate

What was your favourite Chenry moment/episode? toss up between the lion scene in idod and the time jerker because of “this is for you, char” and the hug at the end

What was your favourite Hensper moment/episode? when jasper found out oh my god. that was SO good. also love muffin and “as henry’s best friend...and soulmate”

What was your favourite Chensper moment/episode? oh god The Scene in the finale when henry is telling char to get out of there and she’s not leaving him and jasper has to carry her out and it just shows how much they all care for each other. and the fact that they all went to dystopia together!

If you could go back and change one element of the show, what would it be? RESPECT. CHARLOTTE. PERIOD. (i would change a lot of ray’s character as a whole, especially season 4/5 tbh)

If you could say one thing to each main character in the pilot, what would it be? i would tell the trio to stick together, appreciate each other, and don’t forget to be kids. i would tell ray not to bring a 13 year old kid who doesn’t have powers into this.

If you could say one thing to each main character in the finale, what would it be? i’m proud of you

Were you satisfied with the finale? What part was your favourite and what part was your least favourite? yes. i think overall there are always going to be things they could have handled better. but i’m happy with the way it ended. i think it’s fitting and wonderful and i felt good. favorite part would be the entire part in the finale with henry arguing with ray about who’s going to go down and later with char and jasper for them to leave. partially because i’m a glutton for angst, but also because the actors put so much into it and it was a real display of emotion and feels, and it showed henry’s selflessness and heroic nature so plainly. least favorite was the fact that char never got an apology from ray.

What would your ideal Henry danger spin off look like? dystopia!!!!!!!! the trio fighting crime in dystopia but it’s pg-13 and also they’re falling in love. also they sometimes come back to visit ray and mentor the danger force kids.

Where do you personally see the characters 10 years from now? What are they doing, who are they with, where are they in their lives - what do you think happened to them? Most importantly, are they happy? i think the trio is going to be living and fighting crime together for a while. char runs a charity on the side, jasper does photography, and henry is a botanist. but they’re first and foremost a team. piper runs a media company and ray and schwoz are being parents to the DF kids. they all still have thanksgivings together and yes, they’re all very happy.

What was your favourite part of the show and why did it initially draw you in? so i watched the thundermans right before this, and the whole reason i got into it was because i love anything superhero related but i wanted something lighthearted instead of my usual gritty dctv shows. i stayed for the humor and because the kids were cute, and yeah i did develop a crush on henry as the seasons went on. sue me.

What was your favourite part of the fandom and why did it initially draw you in? the people are so! freaking! supportive! i made some really amazing friends through this fandom, and everyone is sooo talented and kind and just unproblematic as hell. i love it.

Describe your overall emotions/feelings regarding the show being over and the show in general, looking back on it as a whole, with one quote from the show. the iconic “feels good”

If you were able to add one scene in the finale, what would you add? charlotte getting a goddamn apology and some recognition. also i would’ve liked to see the in-between of the blimp crash and the funeral, aka henry reuniting with ray, jasper, and char after they all thought he was dead

Favorite outfit/hair style? i LOVED the trio’s looks in the epilogue. char’s outfits every single episode? their looks in double o danger. piper and henry’s sister twister outfits were also very cute. for each character: i like char’s braids, henry with the curly hair he had in the finale, jasper in a crop top, ray’s bangs and blazer, and that one time schwoz was in a leotard and tutu.

Least favorite character? mine would be jake hart, and i feel like that’s another one of those things that doesn’t need an explanation

one twist: add one question at the end for the next person to answer! tag at least two people so this spreads around!

i’m tagging @bitchmilsky @cactus-con @rorythevambire @bijerbear @mychenrymadness and anyone else who wants to do it!

[obeymematches]

Hello, I'm Elysium.

(Basic info) I'm agender, gray-asexual, and demiromantic. I'm a libra, INFP, hufflepuff. I have asperger's. I'm 22, though I act kind of childish. I have brown eyes and brown hair. I'm about 5'5".

(Personality) I'm a pretty shy person, unless I know you or you bring up a subject I know about/like. I love learning new things, sadly I have a problem reading so learning can be difficult. My personality can be very 0 or 100. Like I'll be super affectionate with someone then not want to be touched. Most the time I become affectionate when I grow closer to someone. My emotions are usually unpredictable; anger isn't an emotion I experience often, most the time I just get irritated. I tend to make weird noises when I can't express something right, sometimes noises are easier than words. Meowing is the most common sound I make, other times it's weird hand gestures and gibberish. I have a personality that's like a mix of a dog and a cat. Super excitable, affectionate, easily entertained, but doesn't like to be touched, introverted, and easily scared. I'm pretty self-conscious about everything the things I do and how I look. I do like to think of myself as the uncle of my friend group, caring and a bit silly.

(Likes/Hobbies) I love music, I sing a lot and dance. I love animals, especially sharks and deer. I have two dogs and I really want a snake. I am obsessed with collect soft things like blankets and stuffed animals, brushed out yarn, fleece, and lace are some of my favorite textures. I enjoy baking a lot, sweets are always a go to for me. I make really good chocolate chip cookies. I'm a bit of a nerd, I cosplay and play dnd. If I was a dnd character I'd be an eladrin elf, life cleric. I enjoy drawing, though I don't do it often. I love space, star gazing is a big hobby of mine. I enjoy lazy days napping, but I also love going on walks and making things with my hands. I sculpt little clay animals and I crochet. I'm a baby witch. I love mythology, Greek and Norse are what I know best, but sadly not a lot still. I love going to con, it's a time I feel the most like myself, plus I kind of collect pins and keychains of characters I like, want to cosplay, and have cosplayed.

(Favorites)

Drink: promised land strawberry milk

Animal: sharks

Dog breed: golden retrievers

Cat breed: munchkins

Colors: blue and green

Anime: Princess Tutu

Other textures: soft tummies

Thank you for the match up ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

-----------

Hi, thank you for sending in a request! 

Sorry for the wait, I hope you like the result ! 

I match you with Leviathan! 

Tbh he is not going to judge you for your identity

He would only do that in case you’re a normie 

But you’re familiar with anime and otaku games etc. so you are safe from his judgement! 

He has trouble breaking the ice as well, but after he mentions anime, you’d have a topic in common to discuss 

So that means both of you can relax and talk about anime/manga/Japan without any issue

Theres no need to worry about affection, he is not going to be the one to initiate. 

So unless you initiate, it is not going to happen. Well, I guess well into the relationship when he finally accepts that you genuinely like him, he would initiate it more. 

But he wouldn’t cross any boundary! 

He would find your gestures and habits so adorable!! 

Like is that a human thing to do???? that is so adorable???

Go and steal his heart with kindness and cuteness! 

Oooh well I think he could always find a way to entertain you! 

He would do his best to book you every time you arrive from school! He would really enjoy those times with you, and he would get a little bit depressed/jealous when you would rather be with his brothers. Like he knows that he is not enough for you and he’s so sorry 🥺

You’d need to reassure him and that might end with a kiss initiated by you? 

He would be such a blushing mess oh nooo 🥺🥺🥺

He’d definitely need a caring friend/partner! 

He’s also rather insecure but he’d make sure that he stops you and your negative talks!! It’s not fair that you get to talk about yourself like that, but you always stop him when he says the same thing about himself!!! 

Honestly he supports you getting a snake! He’s not really into animals besides fish (i think? correct me if i missed something)  but that is okay, snakes aren’t so bad! 

He would sometimes help you with baking, after all, you helped him with his raid, so yeah... it’s not like he has a choice now you know.. (that’s not true he just wants to be with you)

Ooooooooooh you doing cosplay is like the best thing that could happen. 

He would definitely cosplay with you, and then you two would go around the house staying in character and stuff. 

Hmm you could invite him to stargaze once in a while, he would be hesitant to join you, but he wants to spend time with you so he’ll go. 

I don’t think he shares your other interests but he’d make sure to get you something related to them for your Birthday! Sometimes he’d even ask simple questions, just to show that he cares and he’s interested because of you. 

You two would always go to cons together in the human world! 

He’d be a bit anxious because of all the people there, but he would relax after a while thanks to you. 

He’d spontanously get you a keychain or a plushie or anything else you seemed to like just to surprise you and spoil you a bit. You should never forget that he has feelings for you, after all! 

[breanime]

Lucky

I hit a wall with ALL THREE of my series, so I’m gonna try to crank out a few oneshots to get myself back in the mood. Please comment if you like this one, I kind of need the encouragement right now/always. 

Also, I came up with this from the prompt list by @padfootagain from @thecoffeeshopforwriters‘ blog! I used: “it’s too dangerous”. So thank you for the prompt list!

*gif not mine*

“It’s too dangerous,” Billy said, voice low as he huddled next to you in the dark corridor, “We need to retreat.”

“Are you out of your mind,” you whispered back, “No retreat and no surrender!”

Billy sighed, ducking his head before lifting it back up and looking over at you. “Fine,” he agreed, “but if we die, I want you to know… I love you.”

You smiled. “I love you, too,” you said, leaning over and kissing his waiting lips. Billy titled his head, deepening the kiss, and you put a hand on his chest, bringing him back to reality. “Hey, have a little hope, soldier. We got this.”

Billy raised an eyebrow, letting his eyes trail up and down your body. It was 4 in the afternoon during a mission and you were wearing light blue pajama pants with pink cats on them and one of his old shirts. Billy wasn’t much better—he was wearing black sweatpants and a white tank top—with no shoes. “We’re underprepared,” he said drily.

“We’ll catch ‘em by surprise,” you said, upbeat as always, “We’ve done this a hundred times—”

“—Yeah, but never under these kinds of conditions,” he interjected, shaking his head, “I’m telling you, baby, we might have to call in reinforcements on this one.”

You scoffed, standing up and peaking around the corner. “We agreed to only call in Frank in dire situations…”

“…which this is…”

“—and we said we’d only do it once a month. We’ve already called him in three times this month,” you stopped—seeing a shadow in the distance. “Ssh,” you shushed Billy, even though he hadn’t been talking, “We got a bogey.”

Billy was up and at your side in less than a second. “Shit.” He put a hand on your hip and moved you behind him. “Okay, it’s just one,” he took a breath, “We can do this.”

“Yeah, yeah, totally,” you agreed, bouncing on the balls of your feet.

“Here he comes,” Billy muttered to you. You nodded. A few seconds later, you saw him round the corner and approach. It was go-time.

“Daddy,” your son was wearing his Captain America pajamas and his favorite pink tutu, “You said you were gonna come find us!”

“I was, but I found Mommy first,” Billy said, forcing an easy smile on his face, “Why don’t you go hide again and Mommy and I will find you?”

“No!” He stomped his little foot and both you and Billy jumped. “Me and Sissy have been hiding for seventy whole hours!”

“That math doesn’t add up, bud,” Billy said weakly.

“Why don’t you get your sister and we can all hide from Daddy?” You suggested, voice light.

“No!” Your tiny terror put his arms around his chest. “We already hided and hided and hided and all you and Daddy do is make kissy-face! SISSY!” He roared, calling for his sister.

“Oh God, no,” you said, cowering behind Billy.

Your daughter came running down the hallway with a scream that would have shamed a banshee—if your son had inherited Billy’s natural stealth and cat-like movements, your daughter had gotten your bull-in-a-china-shop tendencies. She was wearing one of Billy’s old Anvil T-shirts, her Huggies pull-ups, a football helmet, one pink sock and one orange sock. She also had a foam sword in her hand (a poorly thought-out gift from Auntie Karen).  

“Baby, baby, baby,” Billy said, crouching down to catch her as she tackled him, “We’re not supposed to run with weapons, remember?”

“Mommy and Daddy weren’t hiding!” Your son reported.

Your little girl gasped, mouth dropping at this scandalous news. “But we play hide-‘n-seek!”

“Guys, we’ve been playing all day,” you said, trying to reason with them for some reason, “and you promised Mommy and Daddy that you’d go down for your nap after we make cupcakes.”

“Our first mistake,” Billy muttered from the ground.

You subtly kicked him as you went on. “I know it’s fun to play all day when we have a snow day, but we have to take our naps too—”

“No naps!” Your daughter cried, waving her sword in the air. “We no want naps! We want play!”

“You said we didn’t have to take a nap till we got done playing hide and seek,” your son added, “and we hided but you didn’t seeked! So we’re not done!”

“Oh my God,” you sighed. Of course he was using logic—and what kind of kid remembered the desperate things his parents said in an sad effort to get them to compromise to nap time?

“Ok, but we have to take our naps now,” Billy said—he was using his ‘serious Dad voice’ now, “We should have gone to sleep hours ago.”

“But it’s not night-night time, Daddy!” Your daughter argued. She still had pink frosting on her round cheeks.

“And we didn’t get seeked yet!”

Billy sighed, looking up at you tiredly as both kids chattered in front of him. “I told you this was too dangerous,” he said.

“Okay,” you said, getting down to their level beside Billy, “how about this: we’ll play hide-and-seek with you guys after your nap, and we’ll play for real this time. But you have to go to sleep first.”

“No!” They both cried at once.

“Hm,” you turned to Billy, “well that was kind of my whole plan there.”

He rolled his eyes. “Can I just rewind back to when I—rightly—said we were underprepared for this right now? We should have done more recon.”

“Your version of recon was hiding in the dark while our spawn destroyed the house,” you quipped back. You turned back to your kids. “No more talking. I want you both to get ready for naptime right now,” you put your hand up before either of them could interject, “and if you don’t, I’m going to take a toy away every time I have to ask you again.”

Your son’s dark eyes widened, but your daughter’s glinted with mischief. Billy looked surprised, but he covered it up and nodded in agreement. “That’s right,” he said, “and we’re going to take all the toys to Anvil and let all of Daddy’s employees use them for target practice.”

“No!” Your son yelled, he spun around—tutu whirling—and grabbed one of his stuffed dogs (a pitbull from Uncle Frankie) off of the floor. “Don’t take away Mr. Mean Face!”

“We don’t want to take Mr. Mean Face, or any of your toys,” you said gently, “but Mommy is tired of asking you guys to be good. So will you go bed?”

“Mm hmm,” he said, nodding his head and holding the toy to his chest.

“I don’t want to go night-night!” Your daughter yelled, swinging her sword and accidentally hitting her brother on the forehead. “I play! I play hide-‘n-seek!”

“No you don’t,” you said calmly, plucking the sword out of her hand. There was a moment of silent shock following your bold action; Billy and your son (his twin, you swore) both had wide eyes and open mouths, and your daughter’s eyes had widened as well. Her first reaction was to reach out for it, but she stopped herself from making grabby hands—she knew better. She stared over at you, and you stared back, not backing down.

Then her little mouth twisted downward, and her dark eyes started to water, and then she was bawling.

“My sword!” She cried, little hands balled at her sides as she threw her head back and sobbed.

“She’s sorry, Mommy! Sissy, say you’re sorry! She’s really very very sorry, Mommy,” your son said, yelling to be heard over his sister’s screams, “Please don’t shoot the sword—we’ll go night-night! We promise!”

“Nope, it’s going bye-bye now,” you said, standing up.

“Aw, Y/N,” Billy said, wrapping his arms around your daughter and letting her cry into his chest, “come on…”

You shot him a glare.

“Okay, Princess,” Billy was addressing your daughter now, “hey—don’t cry, stop crying, baby. Daddy was just joking, I’m not gonna take your toys to work,” he wiped her tears away, and you rolled your eyes when she gave a dramatic sniffle. You’d taught her too well. “But Mommy’s gonna hold onto your sword until you get in bed and take your nap, okay?”

“I want my sword back,” she sniffled.

Billy looked back up at you, probably just one more sniffle away from breaking down himself. You crouched down again, pushing him with your shoulder as you looked at your daughter. “I’ll give you your sword back once you and your brother get in your jammies and get in bed.”

Your son nodded, taking his sister’s hand. “Okay, Mommy! C’mon, Sissy!” He tugged at her hand when she didn’t move.

“I sorry, Mommy,” she said, little face looking up at you.

You smiled and opened your arms. She rushed into them and you gave her a warm hug. “Thank you for apologizing, baby. That’s very nice of you,” you kissed the top of her perfect head, “Tell you what—if you and your brother wash your faces before me and Daddy get in there, I’ll let you sleep in your Anvil shirt.”

Her face broke out into a smile.

“And can I sleep in my toot-toot?” Your son asked. He hadn’t quite yet mastered the word “tutu”, but neither you or Billy had the heart to correct him—it was just too damn adorable.

“Yes,” you leaned over and pecked his cheek, “So go and wash your face—both of you!” You laughed as they both took off, holding hands. You stood up, and Billy followed.

“Damn,” he said, staring at you, “I’m both impressed and turned on.”

“As you should be,” you grinned, putting an arm around his waist, “By the way, great job backing me up there.”

“I tried! But you know I can’t resist that little face she makes before she’s about to cry,” he whined.

“One hundred confirmed kills,” you muttered with a smirk. You stood on your tippy-toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I love you, you big softie.”

“I love you, too,” he said, smiling. His smile turned sultry. “In fact, I’m hoping you’ll let me show you how much I love you while the kids are sleeping…”

“Is this another ploy to get me pregnant again?” You asked, putting a finger on your chin, pretending to think about it.

He draped an arm around your shoulders. “Everything I do is a ploy to get you pregnant,” he said, kissing your cheek, “You know how sexy you are when you’re knocked up?”

You giggled, kissing him again. “This,” you said into his lips, “is why we have birth control.”

“Boo,” he said, kissing you still.

“Mommy! Daddy! We’re ready!” Your son shouted from down the hall.

You and Billy walked into their bedroom hand-in-hand. Your son was in his bed—a red race-car—in his PJs and tutu, holding Mr. Mean Face in his lap with a clean face and a big smile. Your daughter was in her bed—a matching red race-car—in her Anvil shirt and holding her favorite stuffed animal (a worn-out Elmo that you’d had when you were little) with a clean face and a smile just as big as her brother’s.

“Wow, you guys got ready so fast!” You said, smiling over at your little miracles.

“We’re all ready to go night-night,” your son reported.

“And I be good, Mommy,” your daughter said proudly, “See?”

“You’re being very good, baby,” you laughed, “I’m very happy.”

“Do you want a story?” Billy asked, moving around the room picking things up.

“No thank you,” your son said, “We would like to go right to sleep, right Sissy?”

“Yes,” she nodded as Billy tucked her in, “we would like to go to sheep—sleep,” she corrected herself.

“Okay,” Billy kissed her temple, “I love you, princess.”

“I love you, Daddy. I love you too, Mommy!”

“I love you, baby.”

“And I love you,” Billy said, kissing your son on the temple as well.

“I love you too, Mommy and Daddy.”

“And I love my brother!” Your daughter yelled.

“I love you, too Sissy!”

You and Billy both laughed. You were so lucky to have your family, to have a life full of love. “Sleep tight, you too,” you said, leading Billy out of the room.

“Don’t shut the door all the way!” Your son requested from his bed. You sighed, smiling, and cracked the door open.

“So,” Billy said, back in the dark—but now empty—hallway, “should we got to bed, too?”

You grinned. “What better way to celebrate a successful mission?”

“And with no causalities, no less,” Billy agreed, taking your hand and leading you to your bedroom.

You were a lucky woman indeed.

***************************************************************************************

Me, a child of divorce who only ever got tucked in by my Mom: iS tHis hOW faMILiES woRk??? Hahaha! Also--this is totally an uncalled for sequel to “The Best of Him”. 

TAGLIST:  @floralpeaceofmind​ @delicatelilyflower​ @dylanobrusso​ @ladyblablabla​ @banditthewriter​ @something-tofightfor​  @starsfragments​ @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme​ @hisgirlwednesdayaddams​@fictionwillneverdie @maria-beretta​ @sadnessxvodka​ @ymariejp​ @sunnycolors​ @moonlightsay​ @its-all-o-kay @damagelove​ @keyeluh @itsmylife98​ @funerals-with-cake​ @littlemermaidprobz​ @teacuplotus​ @king4thesirens​ @mrsjaxtellerfan​ @thebabblingbook​ @tartelette-aux-fraises​ @madamrogers​  @charlylama​ @iaintnofurry​​ @k-buggz2001​​ @whitewolfslittlesilverfox @drinix​ @elanor-of-imladris​ @blah-blah-fuckit-shit @julliiaaq​ @holamor​ @ymariejp @shadowhunterscloset @songtoyou​ @anabella-baby @sssilverssserpent​ @heyitslexy

[yasuda-yoshiya]

Sorry I haven’t been around here much lately! The last few weeks (/months, really) have been rough for me, but I’m feeling a bit better at least for now. For now I’ll just drop some overdue thoughts here on some of the things I’ve been watching since I finished Utena:

Princess Tutu

I found Tutu to be a really sweet and charming show with a ton of heart, but I'm also sad to say that I don't think watching it straight after Utena did it any favours for me. Utena portrayed the same kinds of themes around breaking out of predefined narratives in a way that personally hit home for me a lot harder, so Tutu ended up feeling a bit like a watered down version of the same ideas to me... Which is a shame because I do still think it's a really cool show with a lot to like about it! It's visually and aesthetically gorgeous, I adore its whole cosy meta-fairytale atmosphere and the ballet theme and the whole general feel of the show a lot - it just didn't end up leaving that much of a lasting impression on me in the end. I may well come back and revisit it some day, because I feel like I'd probably get more out of it coming in with a clearer idea of what to expect and without Utena's shadow unfairly hanging over it.

For the characters, I loved Ahiru and Fakir! They were both so endearingly earnest and I really liked the respective directions they ended up taking both of their character arcs and their relationship (Fakir passionately rewriting the story to be about Ahiru's bravery and courage at the end made me cry so hard! That's like, the exact kind of individual heartfelt expression of love that hits straight to my heart when it comes to fictional couples, waaaah...)

Mytho and Rue were a bit harder to connect with for me; I felt like I couldn't really get invested in Rue's feelings for Mytho for the most of the show since the backstory around them wasn't revealed until the very end. (I did like Ahiru and Rue's relationship quite a bit, though! That sort of feeling of the narrative artificially pushing them into being enemies when they really could have helped each other as friends was well done.) On Mytho's end I just never clicked at all with the whole raven blood subplot that seemed to dominate his character in the second season, unfortunately. I couldn't make it meaningfully connect for me, even though I had quite liked him as a character in the first half of the series (even in just my generic "hnng cute boys struggling with the idea of having feelings" way). I'd be interested to see on a rewatch whether those two would work better for me having a better idea of where their trajectory was going from the start, since I felt like I didn't really "get" what they were going for with their relationship or how I was supposed to be reading them until the very end (I'm slow okay).

Steven Universe

What an absolutely lovely series! I've been wanting to check this out for a long time, and I'm glad I finally got the chance because it really is excellent. I totally fell in love with the whole Crystal Gem family, and the balance between them all having their own personal issues to deal with while still being able to draw love and support from each other was done really well. I really loved the handling of Steven's PoV in the first couple of the series especially for how they handled his growth around coming to understand that his parental figures are really flawed people who have a lot of baggage to deal with, but also without framing their personal problems or their relationships with each other as being at all within either his power or responsibility to "fix". Instead, his moments of growth are more about more consciously registering the burdens they're under and making those little gestures to ease them wherever he can, like consciously showing appreciation for their parenting efforts with the test, or giving Amethyst more time to vent things out with her friend when she's stressed out instead of asking her to take him home right away. Likewise, on the gems' end, we really get the sense that e.g. Pearl's love for Steven is real and valuable and "saves" her in a very real sense, but also that it's not going to ever fully erase her depression or her grief over losing the life she had with Rose before and that that's okay.

I would say as the show went on, it felt like it lost some of the grounded and occasionally harsh nature that originally drew me to it - the first couple of seasons felt like they had a sort of constant legitimate tension in the background with the gems trying hard to keep things together in a hard situation in a way that still obviously had its cracks in it, and a sort of acknowledgment that "maybe not everything will be okay, but there's still a lot of good in the world and in our relationships that's worth living for", which I appreciated. Whereas I felt like they moved a bit more towards unambiguously positive resolutions as the show went on, with a bit less of that willingness to leave things "unresolved". (Of course the show still has a lot of those moments, like the reveal of Rose's past in particular, but even then I wished that the fallout from the reveal and its lasting impact on the gems was given more time and weight than it was.) That feeling culminated for me in the finale of series 5 and the way the plot with the diamonds was resolved, where it felt like the show pretty much parted ways with reality entirely and fully embraced a kind of ideal fantasy positivity.

But I don't think that's necessarily a totally bad thing, either - it's still a very genuine and heartfelt kind of positivity that can be hard to find in narratives as unapologetically queer as SU is (especially in media targeted at young kids!) and I'm sure a lot of people really need that gap filled in their lives, so I can't really bring myself to resent it overall. The characters remain as endearing and lovable as ever, the show still made me smile from beginning to end, and all in all I have nothing but great appreciation for all the important ground it's willing to tread as a kids' show touching on a lot of extremely relevant contemporary issues in a positive and responsible way. It honestly makes me feel really happy and hopeful to think of kids getting to grow up with a show like this! So while I might personally have ended up resonating more with the show if they'd taken a different direction, I feel like I still have a lot of respect and understanding for the route they did end up taking, too, and I'm glad to have experienced it.

Mob Psycho 100

I thought this was a very cool and interesting show! As "deconstructing shounen tropes" series go, I feel like this one successfully hits a unique sort of sweetspot for me in the way that, rather than brutally tearing apart shounen conventions out from the roots (which is also something I can enjoy a lot when it's done well!), it's instead focusing on taking a lot of the genuinely positive ideas that draw people to shounen - the ability to overcome adversity through personal growth and "the power of bonds/friendship", positivity in the face of despair, and so on - and re-examining them through a more grounded context that asks "Okay, but what does that actually look like in the real world?" Because, you know, it definitely DOESN'T look like people with magical god-given superpowers blasting through everything that challenges them with the sheer force of their specialness and their pre-assigned role as the "main character", right?

So I was really impressed by Mob as a series for not only being so thorough about deconstructing that (to the point that the voice encouraging Mob to use his powers more and be a super special hero is an outright "devil on the hero's shoulder" kind of character!), but also for going that extra step to examining what real positive growth actually DOES look like. I felt like the series did a remarkably insightful job overall (especially in the second series) of sort of gently but firmly differentiating "real growth" from "shounen growth" in that sense. I really loved those little touches like the Emi episode, where the viewer is effectively led to expect a moral about how "people will like you more if you act more genuine and be yourself!" - but then the show very deliberately switches gears to the idea that trying to be more genuine is already worthwhile in and of itself, just because you're living in the world with a more conscious awareness of what's important to you and standing up for the things you care about, and how that authentic way of living can inspire other people and have a positive impact on them too.

And similarly, I absolutely love Mob and Reigen's weird, messy, problematic relationship being the emotional centrepiece of the series, because it's the exact opposite of the kind of friendship you'd expect to be centred in a "POWER OF BONDS!!" themed show, but that's also why it just... really really works! It's such a humble and near-accidental and flawed and limited connection, and I love that Reigen is also allowed to impact Mob in negative ways and have selfish motivations and be unambiguously portrayed as a genuinely pathetic and terrible person and a bad influence on him too, and that the show doesn't remotely shy away from that - and yet somehow it still absolutely shines through that both of them would be worse off without each other, that the "power of their bond" really has changed them both for the better as people. Not through any incredible magic connection, but just through those little moments where they save each other through things like Reigen telling Mob "It's okay to run away", or Mob telling Reigen "You're a good guy".

Because the show is so upfront about the limitations of their "bond", it really does make the emphasis on its positive impact and how fortunate the two of them are to have been influenced by each other really work and have value, I think - because it comes across as that kind of approachable, recognisable "miracle" that really can and does happen in people's daily lives. It doesn’t claim to be a perfect friendship, or to have the capability to fix all their individual problems just by existing, but it does still come across loud and clear that they’ve been a genuinely positive force in each other’s lives. I definitely came away from it with a greater appreciation for those little chance encounters and humble relationships that have helped me and shaped me as a person! On the whole, I'm sure the show isn't for everyone, but I would definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys shounen as a genre at all, because I feel that it really works as a remarkably critical and self-aware yet loving celebration of the spirit behind those kinds of stories.

[the-real-xmonster]

hello! so lovely to have you back~ do you have any thoughts on Alina’s season so far?

Hello, nice to be back here :)

Alina this season has been heartbreaking to watch, and she’s giving me a very bad sense of Adelina-related deja vu (yes, yes, I know, I’m well aware of the differences in their situations and whatnot, you guys don’t have to hammer it into me, I just can’t help what my subconscious chooses to associate with what, ok?) I think it’s pretty obvious that the Olympic-champion pressure is getting to Alina, and it certainly doesn’t help her case that the ladies’ field is getting more competitive this season, what with Rika’s rising star trajectory, Liza T’s comeback, and the junior girls with their quads. I heard Alina had also been dealing with some injuries so her situation is a recipe for disaster on all accounts. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a skater looking at the same time so desperate and so… resigned (for lack of a better word) as Alina did at both Russian Nationals and Euros.     

Anyway, at this point I honestly can’t bring myself to be hopeful about Alina’s performance at Worlds (if indeed the Russian fed would still send her to Saitama) and I can only look forward to her somehow regaining her strength both physically and mentally over the off-season and then coming back stronger.

Related ask:

Alina’s ice-coverage is quite sad this season and her skating is looking rather laboured in general. Do you think it’s just because of her growth spurt? Because while I’ve seen skaters lose their jumps, I’ve never seen a skater lose their skating skills because of a few extra inches in height.

I hate to say this but Alina’s SS has never been on the strong side even before this season. Her team is very good at filling her programs with complicated content so it usually helps to cover up her lack of speed and ice coverage, but if you had looked closely at her movements you would’ve seen signs of weaknesses, like a lack of rhythm in her stroking, uneven knee bends, and shallow edges on her turns/steps. I’d say those weaknesses are simply more visible this season because of (1) unsuitable music choice and choreography - the season is almost over and I still haven’t the faintest idea what her team hopes to achieve and/or convey with those bizarre music cuts, (2) Alina has been making more jump mistakes, which both fragmented her performances and forced her to do more basic stroking to catch up with the music, which drew your attention to her lack of speed, and (3) apparently the tutus she wore last season played a more important role than expected at disguising her tendency to bend forward at the waist while moving. 

Those problems were, of course, further aggravated by all the stress Alina had to deal with, as mentioned in my answer above so yeah, I really can’t blame her for seemingly regressing on SS… 

[randomedrstuff]

Take Two! With Emilie de Ravin

The actress and LA mama on motherhood, her second pregnancy & strong roles for women

By Caitlin Wolper

Emilie de Ravin wasn’t the first to know she was pregnant again—her 2.5-year-old daughter Vera told her. Vera also was the first to predict that the baby was a boy, and, as time would tell, she was right. De Ravin—an LA mom and actress known for her notable and critically-acclaimed primetime TV roles on “Roswell,” “Lost,” and “Once Upon A Time”—will welcome her first son and second child with fiancé Eric Bilitch in a couple of months. 

However, her pregnancy is a bit different the second time around. When she was pregnant with Vera, de Ravin recalls, she didn’t yet have a child, so she didn’t have to factor in needs besides her own. Her current pregnancy has thrown her a brand-new challenge: Managing a toddler while also managing her prenatal wellness. “I still had time to myself [during my first pregnancy]. I still had: ‘Oh, I can find a new prenatal yoga class,’ or ‘I can go for a nice walk’ and really take that time to nourish and take care of [my] body and mind,” she explains. “The struggle during this pregnancy is finding time to do that.” She already swears by DockATot and Nuna’s car seat, and adds she’s excited to try out the SNOO by Happiest Baby with her child-to-come. When de Ravin can fit in some “me time” and prenatal yoga between caring for Vera and acting, she feels “a massive difference, especially mentally.” That said, de Ravin won’t let pregnancy slow her down—she was on a project that wrapped when she was at 16 weeks: “There was a lot of ‘Oh, I think I should wear the flowy dress for this’ by the end of that job,” she laughs. She and Bilitch—who’s also in the entertainment industry—often travel for work and take Vera along with them, whether it’s Vancouver, Europe, or Atlanta. Vera’s also traveled to her mother’s home, Australia, among many other global destinations. Even though her family is LA-based right now, de Ravin feels she isn’t necessarily raising Vera in LA (especially before she enters the school system), what with all their travel—but she says Vera loves traveling with the family, and it often plays a role in her dress-up and games of pretend.

“Every time she dresses up and gets her little bag together, I’m like: ‘Where are you going?’ and she says: ‘Oh, I’m going to Paris, I’m going to climb the Eiffel Tower,’” de Ravin laughs, adding that the family recently took a trip there. “She’s moving to Paris, apparently. Sometimes we, in these stories, get to go; sometimes she’s going on her own.” Though de Ravin can’t predict if her daughter will choose to act, Vera definitely loves dress-up and dance (“I think I’m asked every day if we’re going to ballet.”). When de Ravin was packing before a move, she let Vera stand on the dining room table to help. “That became her little stage and she was singing ‘I’m a little teapot’ in her red tutu,” she laughs. “She’s definitely got that side to her.” Her mother is clearly a model for this theatrical behavior. De Ravin started her career-defining role on the late-90s teen sci-fi drama “Roswell” at only 18 years old, playing alien-human hybrid Tess Harding. Only a couple years later, she appeared as Claire on the popular and critically-acclaimed TV series “Lost,” which follows an increasingly harrowing and complex tale of airplane crash survivors stranded on an island, and recently celebrated its 14th anniversary of the premiere. “‘Lost’ was an experience that changed my life in so many ways,” she says. “Not just my life; I feel like it changed the platform for TV. There wasn’t ever a show like that, especially on network TV. It really broke every side of the box and burst through.” She spent six years filming the show, and got very close to the cast and crew as a result. “That’s a long time to spend with the same people being the same character in the same set with the same crew,” she reflects. “And then, that’s just sort of gone.” She spent seven years as Belle (as in the protagonist princess of “Beauty and the Beast”) on ABC’s long-running “Once Upon A Time,” a role that she recently wrapped. The show, which combines modern life and fairy-tale to create a brand new story, is one she’s found appeals to all ages, and often brings families together in front of their TV. There’s a commonality in all the roles de Ravin takes: She looks for characters somewhat unlike herself that both challenge her and carry “a positive reinforcement of what to do, what not to do: Something that people can learn from and grow from.” She adds: “I don’t want to play the same character over and over again, just wearing a different outfit or with different color hair; [otherwise] I might as well stay on the same job for 50 years.” De Ravin craves the challenge of playing complex characters dissimilar to herself, and the research it requires. And with the range of different personalities and character circumstances she’s taken on over the course of her acting career, the rewards she’s reaped from her hard work and diligent research are clear.

“For me keep a character fresh, therefore to keep the viewer interested in watching and engaged in watching what I’m doing, [I need] something that is challenging, something that I can learn from,” she says. “Whether it’s anything from a different talent the character has, or an accent, or a belief system—something I have to dip into the knowledge pool and really learn and do some research for—[I have to] open up my mind and my heart to new things and new experiences. I find that the more open you are and the more hungry you are for knowledge in life in general, whether it’s acting or anything else, then the more giving you can be and the more interesting of a character I can develop from that.” With Belle and “Once Upon A Time” as a whole, one of her greatest challenges was portraying a famous, pre-existing character but still imbuing her with complexity that didn’t stray from her personality and story. “I’ve got all these children that are watching her, wanting to be like their favorite character; let’s give her something…an extra strength to her, an extra positivity to her,” de Ravin says. “Also, [show them that] everyone makes mistakes, and there is no perfection; there is no perfect princess or perfect life or perfect world. Everything’s messy, and that’s not a bad thing.” That’s the type of life lesson de Ravin hopes her kids would get from her acting work as well. “I would like them to be hopefully more inspired by things that I can teach them as a parent as opposed to through my work, but at the same time, there are things that are appropriate life lessons, whether it be conflict or love or whatever, [that] can be taught through film and TV: It’s a very prominent part of growing up now, or just our world in general,” she says. “A child sits down and watches something and it makes a much bigger impact than it does on us…They’re just this massive, magical little sponge.” That’s another reason she takes on challenging roles: She wants to play strong, realistic women, roles she’s starting to see more often. “It’s not just what I pursue or what I would like to pursue,” she says. “It’s also what’s being presented is changing a lot too, in at least what I have seen.” She adds that in the future, she does want her children to understand that as much as she loves her job, it’s still work, and hard work at that. “I love what I do, I’m very lucky and blessed to be able to still be working in this industry—it’s a tough one, and it’s a strange one, it’s a crazy one. But it’s work, and as much fun as it is, it’s a job like everyone else has,” she says. She then adds with a laugh: “They can learn about the craziness of it later. Keep it more in the fun part for now.”

After she has her son, de Ravin figures she’ll go back to work—not right away, but likely in 2019. Of course, it’s all up in the air for now, as is the nature of entertainment. “You never know what projects are going to be around [in the future]. Is it something that I’m going to be into? Is it something they want me for?” de Ravin says. But luckily, she adds, she does work in the sort of industry where she can bring her kids along for the ride (before they’re “properly” in school—Vera currently attends a half-day pre-school). “There’s such flexibility when they’re little… It’s a place that you can share with your children: If you’re working on location and it’s somewhere cool, they can come hang out and watch and travel with you,” de Ravin says. “It’s not like I’m going to close myself in an office all day and I’m not allowed to bring to my children, so that really is a huge bonus.” She starts to say that, all the same, she loves to be home with “her” (Vera) and amends it to “them,” including her baby-to-come. “It’s going to be a big change; whatever happens will happen,” she says. “I didn’t know how I was going to do it with Vera, and that all worked out really nicely.” She’s on a break from work as she waits for her son’s arrival, and has been passing the time with Vera, who’s excited to have a baby brother. Vera’s also keeping her mom busy, between reading together (“She memorizes me or Eric reading [books] to her and then she’ll sit down and sort of read them herself in this animated voice, playing it out.”) and helping out in the kitchen from her stool: “I think she enjoys the tasting process,” de Ravin laughs. They also pursue outdoor activities together as a family, something both de Ravin and Bilitch believe to be an enormously important facet of early childhood. “She loves swimming, she likes going swimming together… I always try and find some activities with her, like little family farms or veggie farms or the beach or going for a walk, going for a hike, just exploring; even just being out in our garden and gardening together and looking over all the flowers—and then she’ll find the ants,” de Ravin says. “That reminds me of me, just loving, when I was as little as this, the tiny things outside that you find, whether it’s a tiny little part of a seed or figuring out where this came from, or where does that insect live, and all the tiny wonders. [It’s] super soothing and calming, too, doing that with her. It really puts life and everything else that’s going on in the world into perspective.”