#like a scholarship that helps me afford dorming

[greenfuls-secret-chambers]

Warnings : Minors DNI, shameless smut

Reader is of legal age

1800+ words

Our Little Secret

Tripping over your feet, you successfully made your way past the crowd to the door of the bar.

It was Friday night, being the last few weeks of your third year of college , you and all of your friends decided to go out for a drink. Next thing you knew, one drink led to two, and two some how led to four.

You pushed past the heavy door, finding yourself leaning up against the building fishing in your pockets for your pack of cigarettes. Finding the pack you took one out and put it to your lips. You took out your lighter, tried to light the end but no luck.

“Well fuck, isn’t that just peachy.” You groaned

You looked around, scanning the figures around you, looking for someone who might be able to save you from your predicament. To your left you saw a man blowing smoke out of his nose.

“Hey would you mind? I need a light.” You pointed to your cigarette.

He looked up at your with green eyes and smiled. “Sure, no problem. I’ve been there a couple of times myself.” He stood up and put his hand around your cig to light it.

Holy shit, was this man TALL. Not only was he built like a damn giant, he was hot as fuck.

You stared at him in the pale moonlight, taking in his light brown hair, his bright green eyes, but also a scar that ran across his face. What you wouldn’t give to be under this mystery of a man.

“You know, it’s not polite to stare.” He smirked, as if he knew what you were thinking.

“I’m sorry!” You blushed, “My name is Y/N, thank you for the light.” You smiled, trying to not make things awkward.

“Oh yes Y/N Y/LN, I know of you, I’m Professor Remus Lupin, I teach world history at UCL.”

Your brain short circuited.

Im standing here smoking in front of a professor. NO I’m standing here drunk, smoking in front of a professor.

Worried about your image you moved your arm down by your side trying to hide your cigarette. You couldn’t afford to lose your scholarships.

Seeing you become uncomfortable he spoke,

“No need to be bashful, I’m not going to scold you for smoking. That would be hypocritical of me to do so.” He brought his hand up to his mouth and took a drag.

“Plus we are off of school grounds, so it can be our little secret.” He smirked

There it was again, that smirk was making your knees weak.

You finished your cigarette and flicked it away

“Well professor, the night is still young, I’m going back in and to grab another drink.”

“Mind if I come and join you? It is the weekend and I could use one. Grading all these exams are going to be the death of me.”

Feeling a little brave, you smiled, “Sure, since you helped me out with the light, just put yours on my tab.”

“Well I never say no to a free drink”

With that you walked through the door making your way to the bar taking a seat, Lupin following behind you.

The bartended made his way over to you, “Need another jack and coke?”

“Yes please, and could you put his on my tab?” You looked at Lupin.

“Cinnamon whiskey on the rocks.” He requested.

Within a couple of minutes your drinks were sat in front of you.

Lupin turned to look at you “For someone as sociable as you, I know you couldn’t of come alone.”

Oh shit your friends, you had completely forgotten about them. You looked around the bar, but no dice. “Well I didn’t, I guess they have already left for the night.” You looked down at your phone confirming your suspicions.

*Hey, I hope you’re alright! We waited for you to come back to the table, but Maria started to get sick so we took her back to Uni. Be safe! I’ll see you back at the dorm later*

…

An hour had past, you were now on your 6th drink of the night and you were feeling it. The night was going very well. The both of you were chatting up a storm, everything from what was going on at university to even some hobbies you both shared.

“.. and you know what,” Lupin spoke in between sips, “Professor Snape needs to have the huge stick removed from his ass, he is so insufferable to work with.”

You almost spit out your drink from laughing and lightly slapped him on the arm, “Imagine being one of his students, I have never in my life had a professor who is such a hard ass for no reason, I think that man just needs to get laid.” You giggled.

Lupin looked down at your hand, still on his arm and bit his lip. “I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

He looked up at you, taking in the sight. He hadn’t noticed early but you truly breathtaking. His eyes began to look you up and down, noticing a couple of your buttons at the top of your shirt had come undone. You skirt had rode up just slightly, giving him a view of your upper thigh.

You but your lip and quipped “You know Professor, it’s not polite to stare.”

“Y/N, no need for formalities, please call me Remus.” He replied, trying to take away from you catching him staring.

You smiled, noticing you still had your hand on his arm, you squeezed it ever so gently. This caused him to shift a little in his chair.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for another smoke.” You said trying to break the tension.

“I think you’re right.” He smiled

You both made your way outside, it had gotten a little colder which caused you to shiver.

Seeing this he asked, “I’m freezing, would you want to smoke in my car?”

Taking the opportunity not to go into hypothermic shock, as well as be alone with him, you happily agreed.

You both made your way to his car, getting into the passenger you could smell chocolate and warm spices. It was a nice change from the mustiness of the bar.

You both took out a cigarette. He lit his, waiting for him to hand you the lighter never came. He leaned over and lit your cig with his. His face only inches away from yours. Between the booze and his action, your cheeks turned red.

You both smoked in silence, stealing small glances while the other one wasn’t looking.

A few minutes went and you had both finished your smokes, flicking them out the window.

You checked your phone seeing it was almost 2am. “Well it’s getting rather late, I need to get back to the dorms soon.” You sighed.

Your hand reached for the door, but before you could open it, Remus grabbed onto your arm and pulled you over to him. Leaving you both inches away from each other’s face.

Staying in that position for what seemed like eternity, you closed the gap putting your lips to his.

He kissed you back immediately, sliding his tongue along your bottom lip, begging to be let inside, you happy obliged and parted your lips slightly, allowing him access. You both fought for dominance, but in the end letting him win.

A few seconds later he moved his hand to the back of your head, grabbing a fistful of hair, pulling you away to look at him.

This caused you to whimper. Your cheeks where flushed, and your eyes where slightly closed.

“Such a pretty girl, I was just waiting to get my hands on you.” He looked you up and down, taking in the sight before him. You skirt had rode all the way up, giving him a view of your black lace panties.

Wanting more you moaned out, “Professor please ..” Starting to rub your thighs together.

He smirked “Professor? I do recall telling you to call me by my first name.” He brought his other hand to your thighs and pushed them apart.

Taking his finger and rubbing them up your clothed slit, he lowly chuckled feeling the wetness.

“Oh I see. This little slut has a thing for getting fucked by a Professor huh? That’s quite naughty isn’t it Y/N?”

You couldn’t take it, he was turning you into a moaning mess.

“Professor Lupin, please don’t tease me, I need more.” You gasped out, grinding down on his hand.

“Exactly what I would expect from a whore like you, don’t worry my love, I’ll give you more.”

He pulled your panties over to the side and pushed two long fingers into you, immediately curling them.

With his other hand, he let go of your hair, almost causing you to lose your balance, to unbutton his pants. He pulls them down just enough to free his cock.

Your eyes grew wide at the sight. He was definitely larger than average and so thick. You have no idea how it was going to fit inside you.

He brought his hand up to your mouth and commanded, “Spit.”

You did as you were told and watch him bring his hand down to his cock, starting to stroke at the same speed he was thrusting his fingers.

He started to speed up both hands then completely stoped.

“Come here, I want you to get in my lap.”

Without hesitating you climbed over the middle console.

He slid down in his seat to give you more access. He pulled your panties back over to the side and slowly pushed you down on his cock.

“Professor Lupin, you’re stretching me out.” You moaned, bitting your lip.

He grunted as he buried himself completely to the hilt. “Y/N, you have such a tight little pussy.”

Without warning he started to thrust upward into you. Both of his hands ripped open your shirt, sending buttons flying all over his car.

He pulled your breast out of your bra and leaned forward to take a nipple into his mouth.

His thrust started to become more rough causing you to grab on to his shoulders for more stability.

“Professor please, I want you to ruin my pussy, fuck me harder.” You cried out, begging.

He released your nipple from his mouth and grabbed the back of your neck pulling you close to him.

“If you keep squeezing around my cock like that, im going to make sure you won’t be able to walk for a week.”

And with that he sped up, thrusting into you at a speed you couldn’t even fathom , before you knew it your orgasm hit you like a train

“Fuck Remus, fill up my tight pussy.” You pleaded, riding out your orgasm.

With his name leaving your mouth he sped up.

“Y/N I’m so close my darling.” He groaned

Feeling you clench around him caused his movements to become uneven. With a final thrust he emptied inside of you, panting to catch his breath.

You both sat there, slumped in the driver seat. He brought his hand up to your cheek , taking his thumb ever so gently to rake across it.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta for not going through with a scholarship?

okay. hi, i/we (we’re a system - 18nb) recently graduated high school this year, and we’re given a scholarship for english-related courses. and this also applies to radio courses/programs. however, we had discussed it among other alters and teachers in our high school prior to graduating that we’d like to take a gap year.

we were a part of our schools radio program for the second semester, and it really had us realize that we’d love to change our ideal career path to radio broadcasting/journalism. we also wanted to have more high school credits in that subject , and when this was brought up with teachers and vice principals? it was accepted, and we were allowed another year.

initally, our mother was supportive of this as long as we continued to work part time. this was prior to graduating. after we were given the scholarship and two options, our mother seemed a bit disappointed with our decision to go through with a gap year. but, I think our decision matters more imo?

now, we are autistic and have really bad anxiety. a huge struggle with us is massive changes. going to college so soon would be very overwhelming and too much for us. it would feel too soon for us to go to a college. plus, we’ve had a lot of anxiety due to financial reasons and constantly fear that we won’t be able to afford things like dorm related things, books, bills, etc. plus, what if something happens to a family member if we’re away? we fear that a lot actually. the college we have eyes on is a while away and has decent prices, but we’ve been collectively deciding to stay home and work and go to high school for this year. plus, we get to be a manager and have a very important role in the studio other than programming! isn’t that cool? We’d love more than anything to be a manager for the year, and be certified in cpr/first aid, since it is a requirement apparently.

when we bring this up to our mom, she looked really disappointed. when we bring up out anxieties to her, she shakes her head and says we’ll be fine. she’d push our anxieties aside saying only “it’s fine” or “you’ll be fine.” honestly, i personally think our anxieties are being downplayed by those comments? that just might be me, though. but, she said she won’t stop us if the gap year is something that we want to do. she does sigh a lot and look rather disappointed in us when we mention the gap year to someone, though.

we can’t help but feel that we’ve disappointed our parent and have been getting second thoughts. we love her a lot and can’t help but feel that we’ve let her down by not going through with the scholarship. the school year for us starts in 13 days.

but, aita here?

What are these acronyms?

[k-looking-glass-house]

SAM and his familiar~ When you wish upon a star~

Gah I’m still shy to share those concept, but it truly made me wonder why the "star wish" event didn't have alternate outfit~ Except our little Ortho (precious, best gear each time)! Anyway let's follow again our dear Sam in his scholarship journey!! He came from the Disney which is literally related to "the famous Disney star wish"!! It definitely has an important place for him~ Also thank you for all your feedback for Sam!!! I am happy for him!! You little one are so lovely!! Thank you!

They're celebrating the star wish event at the Mystery's S shop, Sam didn't belong to any dorm as his scholarship is similar to student exchange, he resides either at his grandpa's shop or at Ombrorio (just like Yuu and Grimm)~

Being far away from Jubilee port they still celebrate the event like they should in their home fashion way, singing, dancing, grooving and praying for "Evangeline".

Being outcast from others students (as they declared that Sam was cursed and brought misfortune) noone came to ask for his wish.

Sam couldn't care less as "a better wish is to stay a mystery", making his friends on the other side worried about him not having human friends.

Eventually K with Sam's grandpa's help could sew some outfits, get some star wish crystals and decorate the shop backyard to enjoy with everyone. They enjoyed their night and waited for shooting star praying for "puppet becoming true little boy", "lost boys fighting pirates from the second star" and "Evangeline being with her lover"!

The next morning K and Sam were recycling their outfit and jewelry as lucky charm fortune to sell to others students, like a "lucky shot only work once"! Smiling and laughing that human are so naive...

SAM (NRC STUDENT)~ SR Evangéline wish suit

Summon Line: “When you wish upon a star...Makes no difference who you are!” Groooovy!!: Please, please, pleeasseeeeee Evangéline! Yes that's how you ask for a good wish! Home: It was a surprise that grandpa and K could afford such an event in our shop! Well he's Mister S after all, gnee hihi! Home Idle 1: Must be good to share your wish with others. Oh no I am not sad, I've got friends on the other side! Home Idle 2: You noticed too! In a lot of fairy tales they talk about the famous star who shine the brightest! Yes right! Home Idle 3: Star wish crystal work when you put either a random wish or your deepest wish! The more you want it, the shinest it is~ But be careful... I saw some crystal crumble from horrible wish... Home Idle - Login: Hn, hmm hmm, I see, I see, no sorry I was listening to my friends wish! Home Idle - Groovy: My wish? I am not going to tell you! It's supposed to stay a secret! Home Tap 1: I saw Trein-sensei being quiet sad when looking at his wish crystal. Lucious went for some headpatting shortly after... Home Tap 2: That school is weird....they believe it's odd fashion but still wish for LOVE, girlfriend, boyfriend!! Are they delusional! They obviously should use a love charm at our shop gnee hihi! Home Tap 3: I know K since I'm 7, yes it's been 10 years by now! They didn't change...except well that humanoid form...They still have the same wish from back then~ Home Tap 4: The headmaster is truly implicated in this event and tradition,....suspicious we must investigate!! I am sure it will be of good use in the future! Home Tap 5: I wonder if the star listen and look after us... Pffff I am not romantic... Home Tap - Groovy: Everyone should have their wish fullfil! IN STOCK NOWWW! Special lucky charm for a limited edition try your luck!

K. OSWALD JUNIOR 101~ SR Evangéline wish suit

Summon Line: "Anything your heart desires will come to you♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ" Groooovy!!: Evangéline!!! Pleashe pleashe pleasheeeee! Home: Yay ah ah ah!! Those crystals are shining bright! Home Idle 1: Well it got the Jubilee port countryside's vibes you know! Home Idle 2: I know all the shong!! let's shing! Home Idle 3: I peeked at Cruella's outfit......for inspiration of courshe! Don't tell him.... Home Idle - Login: Sham has a lot of friends in the shadows!!.... But not so much as humans.....hn *pouting face* Home Idle - Groovy: My wish?? It ish the shame from 10 years ago! Home Tap 1: Cruella ....I mean Mister Crewel took a lot of star wish crystal like about 9!! Sam's grandpa said he is desperate, like the wine auntie! Home Tap 2: Those students...my master is not cursed!! Stupid brat!! Ahh....agrwwggg.....hn nooo nuuuh my voice didn't change at all!! Home Tap 3: You know Sham grow so fast...like a bamboo!!! Poof ! he was so tiny and cute back then! Home Tap 4: I heard shomething from the royal sword academy's headmaster! It's a secret how!!! Buuuut the headmaster ish apparently in loveee with the Blue star fairy!! hihihi!! Crows are very romantic! Home Tap 5: I am sure we all look at the shame star... Well...that's what boook says! Home Tap - Groovy: Hmmmm my outfit is kind of heavy.... I made Sham's one lighter!

-Credit-

Sam (nrc student) star wish concept with K done by me

Lol I tried some "Clamp" design jewelry

[romanarose]

Life update if anyone cares.

I only post this bc i was posting my depressing shit for months and a lot of people were reaching out in concern <3

cw sever depression, self harm, suicide, csa, SA, all the bad. but also lots of good <3

TLDR: Despite a god-awful semester, i got all a's and b's

Everyone thats been following me the last few months has seem my personal posts about how fucking awful things have been for me.

I've dealt with fact I can no longer deny that what happened to me was CSA, despite being on a milder side of things. That sparked an absolutely spiral. I didnt sleep for months which made things worse. School, I got an F on a midterm and i NEVER get F's on writing assignments.

Work had its complications and i quit and then rescinded that quit two days later. I was so constantly depressed in my dorm my roommate literally told me i needed to go to the basketball game with them bc i was sitting in a depression hovel none stop. I only went to services twice this whole time, one shabbat and once for Rosh Hoshannah.

I burned the ever living fuck out of my fingers, yall remember that one? lol.

In novemeber i had relapsed so severely on self harm i thought i had accidentally killed myself. I should've called 911. I thought I was bleeding out and/or going into shock. I then worked myself up more by going down pages of the internet about medical shook and people dying from it. that did not help my heart rate. I couldn't stand, I couldnt see straight for a while.

I could not afford an ambulance or a hospital stay as i am uninsured and only ork 25 hours a week. not a lot of money.

All this happened and I didn't miss work. This is not a brag, this is me not being able to makegood choices for myself.

Finally, thanksgiving break hit. Thank fucking god. I WANTED to use those 4 days of absolutely nothing to get to my TWO BIG RESEARCH PAPERS I HADNT STRTED YET but alas, I was SICK. I was so sick, in fact, and so hoped up on cough medicine for 3 days i was incomprehensible.

I was so physically ill, i couldnt even think about how mentally ill i was. I slept and slept and slept. And by the time sunday hit, I felt so recharged.

My failed midterm was so bad and so not me my professsor reached out to me. Im close with him (in a v appropriate way lol, hes a bruce springsteen fan too) and i felt comfortable telling him essentially that for a few months there things were severe, and I really should've gone in for a 72 hour hold multiple times and i was not safe. through a few lines of resources, I ended up back in therapy bc my school added a new therapist that is a woman (i stopped going last year bc i didnt like seeing a man)

I like my new therapist.

Anway, in about 2 weeks I wrote 2 12 page research papers, 2 book report papers, 1 science paper did 2 presentations, took 2 finals, wrote 2 more finals with essay questions, and at the end of it all, not only did I not fail any classes...

I GOT ALL A'S AND B'S! Which means my gpa is still high enough to renew my scholarship for my last year

I am so fucking proud of myself for accomplishing all this despite suffering so fucking badly. I havnt felt pain like that in years, just agony.

I had a down turn again over christmas bc my siblings were literally ass, upto and including making fun of me for not ating (i am multiple accounts of sexual trauma from several people, so im scared of dating), making fun of my eating, and my sister slapping me and my older brother hitting me. Was a bad time. But for right now, im in the place im staying for break (all january) im back at my old day care and they love me, and olive garden at this store has been going great

Im hoping next semester to be better, im hopful at least

Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who has supported my writing has supported me through these times. It makes me happy that i came her to share my silly little moon knight x reader series, not really intending on writing a whole lot, but next thing i know, i have friends and a lil community. so thank you <3

[writefinch]

Study Aid (gentle femdom, chastity, pegging, helpful tutors)

(One of my first ever Patreon-exclusive stories, now unlocked)

Jack knocked the door, twice. A few moments later, when he knocked a third time, he said, "Uh hey, Eri, it's—"

"It's open, come in."

In front of him, Erica was hunched over in her chair. She had one hand on her keyboard and another on a stack of surveys, transcribing the results. He turned to shut the door behind him and when he turned back, Erica had turned to face him. Her cotton dressing gown was open at the front, black briefs and a black sports bra underneath, her chubby thighs and stomach jiggling ever so slightly.  She brushed a strand of flat, ginger hair out of her face, brought a can of Coke up to her big froggy mouth, and sipped.

"Hey."

"Hi. Uh." Jack reached for his bag to take out his notes, panicked when he realized he hadn't brought his bag, and calmed down when he remembered she'd told him not to bring them. "So, what did you want to do tonight? I saw your text so I came over, but like, we already had a tutoring session this morning. And, uh, the exam is in the morning, and I thought you said studying on the night before is bad because it's bad for sleep. And it's poor planning."

Eri set the half-full can of Coke down on the desk. "You're right. Studying the night before is inefficient and rest is critical. Your meds will have worn off by now so you won't be very well able to concentrate, and besides," she said, smiling kindly, "you've done very well. You've come a long way since I started tutoring you."

Jack felt a little ember of pride within him. He'd come a long way indeed. He'd come to college as a half-bright skinny kid with a mop of black hair who had lucked into a local scholarship he didn't deserve because he read a lot of books and his high-school teachers liked him. He spent his freshman year drifting out of his depth on schoolwork, not making any friends, and gaming for ten hours a day. 

Everything started falling apart in the first term of sophomore year, they threatened to pull his scholarship, he looked for a tutor, and he found Erica. The $15 a week his dad had sent him along with the threat of disowning him wasn't enough to afford the full rate for any tutor, but Eri worked out an arrangement where he helped her out with some of her projects in exchange for intensive tutoring. Some of it was a little weird, but he wasn't in a position to turn down help. A few months later, his scholarship was mostly safe, his classes didn't feel hopeless, and he felt good—not just about his studies, but about everything.

It still didn't explain what he was doing here, though.

"So, uh," he dredged up the words from the soup that formed in his mind after his daily dose of concerta wore off, "what did you want me for, tonight?"

"I want to help you prepare for the exam." Before he could respond, she said, "Not study, prepare. You need to rest and you need to be ready in the morning, so I want you to stay here tonight to make sure you sleep properly."

"I sleep properly in my dorm," said Jack, a touch of hurt creeping into his voice. "Y'know, like, it's not like I was going out and getting wasted tonight. I was just gonna play CS:GO until the blocker app switched my laptop off and sleep."

"I know." She smiled. "You've been very responsible, I'm not worried that you'll stay up late or anything. But I'm not worried because you've made a lot of changes, and they haven't been easy changes to make."

Jack shrugged. "They've made things easier. Last year I couldn't study for an hour a week, forget five hours a day."

"Yes, and getting you there required hard changes, a change in routine and behaviors different from anything you've gone through before. It's taken a lot of work for you to maintain these changes over the past three months, work without breaks leads to stress, and exams are stressful enough as they are. So," Eri straightened up in her chair, fixing her pale blue eyes on Jack, "I am going to relieve your stress, you will sleep easy, and you'll be calm going into the exam tomorrow. Relatively speaking, that is."

"What kind of stress relief?" Jack glanced around, saw an old Xbox under her TV with half a dozen disks strewn around it. "Co-op Halo?"

Eri giggled. "Maybe after your exams are over, but not tonight. Will you get into your testing uniform for me? It'll be easier to explain like that."

Jack felt a twitch in his stomach, giddiness with a touch of fear. "Oh. Sure, yeah, I'll do that."

The testing uniform was much less about what he put on and more about what he took off. He took off his jacket, hung it on the back of the door amid a dozen of Eri's coats, kicked off his sneaker, pulled down his jeans and pulled off his t-shirt, and finally slid his boxer briefs down to his feet before kicking them away. 

Three items of clothing remained: a pair black thigh-high socks on his legs, a thin black choker around his neck, and a galvanized steel chastity cage locked over his penis with a high-end stainless steel lock. Eri handed him the last part of the uniform, a hairband with a set of black cat ears. He placed it on his head, and stood in front of her with his arms by his side, presenting himself for inspection.

She looked over his near-naked form, smooth and skinny, and then looked him in the eye. He shivered, felt his cock harden, and winced as it pressed into the studs inside the cage. The feeling was maddening. He'd been feeling it all day. He'd been feeling it all week. Hell, he'd been feeling it for months.

"Have you cleaned yourself out?"

"Yeah, of course, I always use the bulb before I come over."

"Not always, remember?" She winked at him. He shivered again, remembering *her* efforts to clean him out. 

Eri went into her bathroom and came back out carrying the testing chair. It was a sturdy plastic stool with a buttplug mounted on top of it, already covered in lube. She placed down the chair in front of him.

"Take a seat, Kitten."

Jack blushed at the nickname, feeling something between comfort and embarrassment, and was further embarrassed at how easily the plug slipped inside him. It used to be so difficult. It had taken an hour to get that thing inside him the first time they'd tried.

That had been early during his tutoring. Eri had done many similar things with him. Along with transcribing surveys and doing data entry they were his part of the bargain to get high-intensity tutoring without paying high-intensity prices. She helped with his big exams, he helped her with her "little tests."

He'd got a good deal out of it, that was certain. She was an excellent tutor. The classes he struggled with were ones she'd done five years previously. She knew what he needed to learn and she knew how to teach it, but she hadn't just made him better at psychology. She'd made him better at studying. 

She'd picked up on his ADD for one thing. He’d never called it ADD before or heard it called that, he’d only heard it called laziness and dopeyness. She found a psychiatrist friend who would make the diagnosis cheaply. She'd even called up his dad and persuaded him to pay for the generic prescriptions. His dad would never have said yes if not for the other improvements she'd induced: He started turning up to lectures again, he did the reading before seminars, he did the exercises afterwards. His grades improved immediately.

She did more than teach him how to take notes like a normal person, she taught him how to take notes like a person with ADD: use pre-filled note paper with the topics already written in, use lots of shorthand, and most importantly cheat by recording every lecture on your phone. He learned to plan his time, not so that he could cram in as much studying as possible, but to limit the amount of studying he had to do. If he thought he needed to study ten hours a day he would become dispirited and give up, but if he limited it to five hours a day he could do it. 

She taught him to spend time, spend it on planning, spend it cleverly. A professor who assigns three hours of reading for a seminar full of callow business students will be impressed by the student who has done even fifteen minutes of skimming. She taught him to prioritize work by required effort and by grade importance, to not spend longer on any piece than it requires, to stay fit and well-rested to study, but to still study even if you are not fit and not well-rested. She taught him that a half-assed job is infinitely better than a no-assed job.

Of course, none of this would have been possible without removing distractions. Jack had videogames, he had the internet, and he had masturbation. Eri installed blocking software on his phone and laptop. No games, videos or social media during study hours, and everything switches off at 11pm. She set the password, and he gave her his word that he wouldn't look for other devices or try to find workarounds. She didn't block porn, even though he could happily spend three hours a day watching porn and masturbating. She had a much cruder solution to that: a chastity cage. 

It was galvanized steel and had a set of holes throughout, large enough to pump through water for a basic cleaning without unlocking it. Erections became impossible to achieve and painful to attempt. No masturbating, no porn, no going out to parties looking to get laid. 

She'd given him the cage the day he arrived back on campus from christmas break, given him a day to test the fit, and he'd been locked up day in and day out ever since. Every three days she would cuff his hands behind his back, remove his cage, give him and it a thorough cleaning, and lock him back away. 

He hadn't had an orgasm for eight weeks. He was starting to feel it.

Eri walked up to him and around him. "How does that plug feel, sweetie?"

"Full." His thoughts came like treacle. "It feels... nice."

She ran her hands over his shoulders, his back, his chest. Jack wasn't a big guy. He had no muscle to speak of and a little extra softness on his chest and tummy from too much soda and not enough cardio. His skin was hairless, she'd made him shave it.

"Your shoulders are stiff," she whispered into his ear, "and your back is all tense. I think there's other kinds of tension too." She took one of his nipples between thumb and forefinger and twisted lightly. He gasped.

She looked down. He followed her gaze. His hips were grinding back and forth on the plug, his thighs were pressed together. She walked around in front of him, put her hands on his knees and parted his legs. His cock was dripping precum through the cage, a sticky spot pooling on the seat. 

His breath caught in his throat as she wiped up the fluid with a finger, his whole body froze as she raised her hand to his face. She wiped his precum over his lips and held her fingers there.

"Clean."

He opened his mouth to suck her fingers, licking away the slippery, salty fluid.

"Good boy."

She cupped his balls in her hand. Her palm felt so warm, and it was so close to his cock. She had the key, somewhere. She could unlock him any time she wanted. "This is where the tension is, isn't it? This is where all that stress is coming from."

"Yeah." He swallowed. He almost whined. "Yeah, it really is."

"I haven't let you cum for two months," she said, her voice thick with sorrow and sympathy. "I've even made you hold it in a bowl of ice water before I let you out for cleaning, and then it's straight back into your cage. I can't even imagine how frustrating that must feel."

"It's fine, I'm—it's not..." he babbled, his thoughts trailing off. He wanted to grab her tits, paw at her soft stomach, pull her onto his lap and kiss her deeply. He kept his hands behind his back, his fingers fidgeting over one another to stop himself from reaching out.

"Jack," she said, "give me your right hand."

It took a moment to work out right from left, and another moment to work it out with his hands behind his back. He presented his hand. Eri grabbed his wrist and guided his hand into her panties. 

Feverishly hot, soaking wet, the inside of her panties were already slick, coating his fingers coated in her honey. She ground into his hand, the stubble on her crotch scratching his palm. 

"Can you feel how wet I am, Jack? Can you feel how hot it is?"

He nodded dumbly. 

"P-push a finger inside, put two inside me."

He did. She squeezed. It mashed his fingers together, hard enough to make him wince. She moaned, giggled, and gasped. Breathing hard, she took hold of his wrist again and guided his hand away. 

Hesitantly, he put his hands behind his back. That was where he always kept them unless she told him otherwise.

"I could take your cage off right now." She leaned forward to speak into his ear. "You'd be hard in a second. I'd sit on your lap. I'd ride you. You'd fuck me."  

Dizzy, breathless, his heartbeat was a bass drum inside his ears. His dick throbbed in the cage, and the plug throbbed in his ass.

"You could drag me to the bed and fuck me," she continued, "You'd pin my ankles up to my shoulders, you'd put me on all fours and fuck me like a dog, you'd fill me with cum."

He thought of fucking her, the thought of sinking his dick inside her so vivid it was almost a lucid dream, he pressed against the studs in the cage, the pain distracted him from his thoughts, his cock softened, the softness provided relief, the thoughts of fucking her returned.

"You'd get hard again," she paused to nip at his ear, "you'd make me mount you while you sucked my tits, you'd roll me over and I'd wrap my legs around you, you'd cum again, we'd make out, you'd get hard again, you'd fuck me face-down until the springs in the mattress broke, you'd cum, I'd suck you until you were hard again, we'd fuck, you'd come, I'd suck you, I'd let you fuck my ass—"

His fingers dug into his palms, he smelled her sweat and deodorant, she was going to unlock him, he'd pounce on her, she was going to fuck him—

She straightened up and dismounted him. "But that goes against psychological best practices."

"What?" 

"I'm sorry. It's a bad idea. I can't let you out of your cage."

"Why?" Jack's voice cracked. He felt tears welling up. The cage hurt, his cock was still trying to harden against it. 

"See, this little cage," she tapped it with her fingertip, eliciting another frustrated gasp, "has been a life-changing psychological intervention. It has allowed you to focus on the things you need to do and the things you want to do in a way you were simply not able to do before you used it."

"I know, but..."

"Shh, Kitten, let me finish," she said. "If I remove this cage and allow you to experience indescribable pleasure, that would be textbook operant conditioning to reward removing the cage. That's also why I make you submerge your dick and balls in ice water before I let you out for cleaning, so you associate removing it with discomfort. If you associate removing the cage with pleasure, you might grow to resent it."

Jack stifled a growl. He resented the cage plenty already.

"No, that won't do at all. We need to make you associate staying in the cage with indescribable pleasure. We need to make you cum your brains out while locked up tight, and I want to make sure it's like nothing you've ever felt before." She smirked at him, her frog-mouth spread wide. "That's the real reason I haven't let you cum for months. I want there to be no comparison between your sad little jerk-off sessions and what I'm going to do to you tonight."

"But like," he was still absent-mindedly grinding against the plug, "I can't get hard if I'm in the cage."

"So?"

"I can't cum if I'm not hard..."

Eri grinned viciously. "Oh, we'll see about that..."

She ran into the bathroom, clattered around for a few minutes while Jack squirmed atop the testing chair, and bounced back out wearing a strapon dildo. It was nine inches long, veiny, and cherry red, and it bounced around as she adjusted and re-adjusted the straps. 

"Gimme a sec with this, if the harness isn't tight in the right places it's like trying to play baseball with nunchucks."

Jack clenched around the plug. "Holy shit..."

"Now," she said, the dildo wagging to-and-fro as she approached him, "if you would like, you can go home. I'll uncuff you, you can get dressed, I'll even walk you back to your dorm."

She crooked a finger under his chin and pulled him up to look her in the eye. "You might feel pent up tonight, you might even feel a little frustrated during your exams, but you've been a model student lately so I'm confident you'll be fine. That's one choice.

"Uh-huh..." Jack kept glancing down at the strap.

"The other choice is where you beg for my dick and I fuck you until you can't see straight."

Jack whined. Eri laughed.

She sat down on her bed, the dildo bobbing in her lap. "There's your choice, Kitten. If you're still sitting there in ten seconds, I'll take you home. Otherwise come over here and start sucking my cock."

Jack looked at her, looked at the door, looked down at his still-leaking dick, and looked back at her. "Oh c'mon!"

She shrugged. "Eight. Seven. Six..."

"Alright, alright, I'm—ah!" He rose, stopped, and rose again much more gingerly until the plug slipped out of his ass.

"On your hands and knees, crawl over to me."

Jack grumbled as the cheap carpet grazed his skin, batting discarded socks and t-shirts out of the way, shuffling forward until he reached her knees. The dildo was directly in front of him, smelling faintly of new plastic. He opened his mouth to take in the tip, but she pulled it out of the way and slapped it against his cheek. He tried again, and was rebuffed again.

"Rude!" She slapped him with the dildo twice more, and put her palm on his forehead to stop him from moving forward. "Good boys don't try to suck someone's cock without asking nicely first."

"But you said—"

"Good boys don't answer back."

Jack bit back an answer and pouted. Then, he asked, "Can I suck your cock?"

"Beg."

"Please can I suck your cock?"

"Mmh." She looked down at him impassively.

"Pretty please? I'll do such a good job, I promise."

She grinned and she giggled. "Why do you want to suck my cock so bad, Kitten?"

"Because if I—" his voice cracked, "if I do that, you'll put it in my ass."

"You just want me to put it in your ass and what, leave it there? You just had a plug in your ass, what was wrong with that?"

His cheeks burned. "I want you to," he swallowed, paused, "fuck my ass."

"Oh, I see. Why do you want to get ass fucked?"

"'Cause I wanna cum."

"Really? Y'know, most of the boys on campus don't beg girls to fuck their tight little assholes when they want to cum, they just fuck the girls. That's what real boys do. I bet half the guys in your comparative psych class are dicking down their girlfriends right now. What's your problem, huh?"

His dick pressed painfully into the steel surrounding it, and his voice trembled. "B-because I'm in a chastity cage..."

"Oh, of course, how silly of me! You need this real bad, huh? That's okay, just say 'Daddy, please let me blow you like the needy whiny cocksucker I am,' and I'll let you start sucking."

The words poured out of his mouth before she'd even stopped speaking. "Daddy, please let me blow you like the needy whiny cocksucker I am!"

She leaned back and thrust her hips out. "Eat up, Kitten."

Jack took it into his mouth and sucked. He bobbed his head, he licked along the shaft, he kissed it, nuzzled it, worshipped it. He was clumsy but desperate. She cooed and petted him. 

"Arch your back and wiggle your butt, I want a show while you blow me."

He arched his back, sticking his ass out. Wiggling it while arched was harder, and trying to wiggle, arch and suck all at once was beyond his capabilities. She tutted, grabbed his hair, and thrust into his mouth deep and fast enough to make him splutter. She fucked his face for a minute until drool spilled from his lips, at which point she pulled out, wiped up his slobber in her hand, and rubbed it into her face. Jack felt himself pressing painfully against the cage again.

"That's a good start, I think. Now, up on the bed, hands behind your back, face down on the mattress, ass up in the air."

He obeyed. She lubed her fingers, ran them up and down the crack of his ass, teased his hole with fingertip. He tried to push back into it and got his ass slapped for his trouble. "Needy! I decide when you get fucked, not you!" 

Toes curling, wringing his hands behind his back to stave off the temptation to grab at the sheets. One finger went in. After the plug, it went in easy. All the way in, all the way out. Two fingers. Tension, relaxation. She fucked them all the way in and out a few times, then angled them. It felt like his cock was being touched. He squealed and pushed back into them, getting spanked several times more before having his balls grabbed.

"What did I tell you about being needy?" she snapped. "Do I need to take you over my knee and go at you with a hairbrush until your ass glows in the dark?"

He shook his head. "Mfmmff, no, I'll be good, please don't stop please..."

"Good. Now, stay in place."

A third finger went in. Stretching, widening, each nudge from behind sent waves through his cock. It took all his concentration to not start rolling his hips, and the enforced stillness while she explored him only intensified the feelings. His left foot twitched and beat against the sheets.

Three fingers withdrew with a slick sound. Eri giggled and told him to look underneath. He craned his neck, seeing spots, his vision blurry at the edges. There was an unbroken line of precum dribbling out of his cage into a small pool on the sheets below.

"Let's turn that puddle into a lake," Eri said, coating her strapon liberally with lube. 

She stood on the bed, staggering as she put her feet either side of Jack's knees. Just like her fingers, she rubbed the tip up and down the crack of his ass, then put it on his hole and held it there, nudging half an inch but not pressing forward.

"Tell me what you want, Kitten."

He looked back at her, cheeks flushed, eyes wide, voice shaking with desperation. "Please fuck me, Daddy!"

"Good boy." 

She pushed in and did not stop pushing as it slid in, stretching him out and stretching him through, stopping her pushing as something from within slowed its progress. Jack gasped. She waited in place for a moment, and pulled out. 

Her hips went back an inch too far and the head popped out of his ass, leaving a dime-sized 'O' for a second before she eased the dildo back inside. It went in halfway, it pulled back, it went in a little more, it pulled back a little less. A few dozen thrusts later, Jack felt a cold metal harness ring pressing against his taint.

"You took it all the way, this is the biggest toy you've ever taken," said Eri, giddy with pride. "How does it feel?"

"Fuh-f-full."

"Should I stop?"

He shook his head frantically. "No!"

She giggled, and then she fucked him. Long, slow strokes became long, quick strokes became short machine-gun pumps deep inside him, neat fingernails digging into his hips, her teeth gritted, trying not to let his moans and squeals distract her. His precum dripped onto the sheets as her saliva dripped over her lips and onto his back. He gripped the sheets, arms aching as he moved them out from behind his back, the intensity of her thrusts threatening to shunt him across the mattress. 

She slowed down, thighs quivering, taking in deep, ragged breaths. She held onto his hips with locked-straight arms, holding herself up more than holding him down. Her thrusts were slow again. They were not timid or weak, but purposeful, steady, committed.

Jack couldn't think. 

Jack didn't want to think. 

Jack had no need to think. 

His brain had moved down to somewhere between his ass, his cock, and his bladder, and Eri had pulverized the thing to mush. His ass burned from the rough treatment but with every thrust it felt tingly and pleasant. His groin was an incomprehensible mess of need and pleasure that his thoughts slid off without finding purchase.

He knew he hadn't cum, yet.

"Get down on your belly, Kitten, I wanna fuck you prone."

He lowered his hips to the sheet, flattening himself out. Eri laid on top of him, her breasts pressing against his back, and kissed his shoulders. She slid the strapon inside him, and his mind tilted sideways.

"Mmm, this is better," she murmured into his ear, "I don't have to tire my legs out, I can fuck you like this all night..."

She fucked him at a deep angle so that each thrust bumped his prostate. He winced from the pain of being stretched and fucked but the pain was blending into something tingly within him. The pain became indistinguishable from the tingling, which was becoming indistinguishable from pleasure. His skin prickled with heat and shivered with cold, his fingers clawed at the sheets, his toes curled until his feet cramped and spasmed.

"D'ya think your father might have given you more money to find a tutor if he knew this is how you'd end up? You think he knew I'd turn you into a pent-up slut begging for my dick?"

Jack shook his head, his face rubbing against the sheets. "No..."

Eri reached under his chest and pinched a nipple viciously, eliciting a squeal. "No *what,* Kitten?"

"No, Daddy!"

"Much better," she said, thrusting into him effortlessly. "How are you feeling?"

He gasped and trilled incoherently for a few moments before searching for words. "Hnahh, mmfmm, it feels good I think, it—ohh—it hurts, please, more..."

"How do you feel inside?"

"Like there's, there's like a bundle of something, mmhm, something tingly..."

"Relax into it, let it grow, don't try to resist it."

"It's—" something happened in his pelvic floor, something loosened and something tightened and something sent a ripple of pleasure up through his throat, "—oh fuck, fffuck, yes, fuck!"

Eri was giggling again."You're getting there, huh?"

He moaned and felt embarrassed at how rough it sounded, whimpered, made nonsense noises between sobbing and keening.

With the same amount of force, Eri began thrusting faster. She was going to carry him over the finishing line, and she didn't have far to go. He became a quivering mess underneath her, trembling with every thrust as Eri grunted, huffed and laughed above him. 

She grabbed his hair, gripped tight and pulled his head back. "Cum for me, bitch!"

It hit him like the strobe lights of the universe. Reality flickered on and off as he lost control of his body from the chest down. His legs moved but he did not move them, his hands pulled the sheets free from their corners without his direction. Everything became a twitchy, spasmodic ball of pleasure, wave after wave, blotting out everything but the feeling of the dick deep in his ass and the soft warm creature laying on top of him. He only realized he was cumming as the waves began to ebb, not recognising the weird sensation of cumming through a limp cock. It coursed out of him, not in spurts, just a thin, steady stream.

She was still thrusting. He was still cumming.

At some point, they stopped.

His butt felt sore as Eri pulled out. His dick felt sore too. She rolled him over onto his back and sat up, cracking open a can of coke. Slowly, gingerly, he shuffled his way up towards the pillows. He took a deep breath. Even his lungs felt sore. 

Down the bed, there was a patch of cum. It was a pool of cum. It looked like he'd spilled a shot glass full of moisturizer onto the sheets, with a trail of the stuff leading directly to his still-locked chastity cage.

"Don't worry, I'll make you lick it up in the morning," Eri said between sips of coke. She passed him the can, which he held in two hands, and drank from it gratefully. 

"So, how do you feel?"

Jack nodded. "Totally."

She smiled at him, her bulgy blue eyes losing their intensity. "I'm proud of you, Jack. Not for cumming from your ass, not just that at least, but for everything. You've been a model student."

Jack snuggled up to her, resting his head on her chest. "Thanks, Eri."

She idly ran her fingers through his hair. "There's an unopened toothbrush under the sink, and you can charge your phone from that socket. Go get ready for bed, Kitten. I might even let you return the favor before we sleep."

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

A Scooby Re-Write Inspired by Me and My Brother talking

After reblogging that, I got reminded of a discussion my brother and I had over Scooby-Doo. Basically we were talking about how Velma, while not the worst idea, is failing HARD at delivering anything. There's plenty of people on YouTube explaining WHY the show isn't doing well, so I won't bore you. Instead I'll talk about what me and my brother discussed.

First thought: Watch this Video. It's a good talk and honestly was the basis for our thoughts.

Most of this is mine with some thoughts of my brother.

First, I'd have them be college kids. Shaggy is the eldest at 21, and Velma is the baby at 18. Note as well: this follows my Canadian understanding of college and university.

Shaggy is a rich kid whose parents shoved him into all sorts of programs, and he killed it in theater club and culinary classes. Scooby is his dog he rescued at fourteen from an abusive relative. His parents actually helped to. His parents weren't neglectful, and fully support his dreams. They just really wanted him to find a hobby that wasn't eating. They're rich but also kinda hippies who own their own farm where they get fresh food, have chickens and also humanely butcher their animals. Shaggy is only vegetarian when he doesn't have access to meat he knows is ethically sourced. He believes in protecting the planet and might, a few times after catching eco-villains, buy the land they we were worried about to protect. He also is personally rich after creating a snack he calls 'Scooby Snacks' that are healthy and delicious.

Daphne is also a rich kid who knows Shaggy in the 'our parents do business together so we sat at dinners with each other'. Her parents also shoved her into programs a lot, but her interest ended up being fashion and judo. Like Shaggy, her parents aren't neglectful. They're just very busy and wanted her in programs to limit her alone time. Daphne and Shaggy are kind of friend. They get along, and when they see each other in class sit next to each other. But Daphne isn't that interest in spending time with him outside of class, mostly because she's busy with her designs and judo classes. And her boyfriend, Fred.

Fred isn't a rich kid. I like how his dad was mayor in Mystery Incorporated, and I like his trap obsession, so I want to keep that. His mom is a former socialite who became a social worker and is always busy like his dad. He ended up hanging out with his uncle, who is a stunts and props expert for movies. Traps came from this, and so Fred developed an obsession with it. Fred is a good kid, and he owns the mystery van that he painted like it is on a dare. He liked it though! He and Daphne went to the same school cause his mom used some of her money to pay for a private school.

Velma is a genius kid who graduated at age 15. She's in her third year, and striving to go into criminology. Her parents are the type who PUSH and PUSH to have her work harder and harder on school. They imagine her as a famous doctor who will make millions and have them in a life of luxury. She in turn has been working towards her criminology degree and when she turned 18, moved out and now lives in the dorms, where she is Daphne's roommate.

Daphne and Velma ended up close when Velma's parents tried to force their way into the dorm. Daphne prevented this, and they became very good friends. Daphne is in fashion studies, but takes a couple of justice courses for fun. Mostly due to Fred who has an interest thanks to learning his mother was disowned for blowing the whistle on her cousin's criminal life. Fred wants to go into movie making but takes the other stuff for fun.

Shaggy is kind of the odd man out, here. But it doesn't last. One summer, a really good university for future criminology students offers a scholarship for someone who can have a video where the student talks about famous crimes. Bonus if you actually go to these places.

Velma really wants this, but isn't sure if she can afford it. Daphne suggests going with her, and Fred can work the camera/drive. But they honestly don't have enough money. Daphne's parents firmly believe in their daughter making her own way. They pay for school, send her 500 every two weeks for food/gas, but do NOT pay for extra stuff. This, while nice, isn't something they would pay for.

Shaggy comes in. He's bored and overhears them as he's at Daphne's dorm for a group project they have in their costuming class as he's taking theater and culinary classes out of mostly boredom. He offers to pay cause 'I don't have anything to do over the summer and my extended family will be around cause of *reasons* and I hate them'.

So they all go off for Velma! And then of course, they start to find various supernatural crimes going on. Velma is secretly a ghost junkie, so is Fred. They have time, and go off to see it. And that is how them busting crimes start.

They go through about ten crimes, and there is some joking about how 'what the fuck, why is there so many people doing this shit' before they meet a REAL witch who has been terrifying people away from an area due to another witch trying to murder people. They team up to stop the evil witch, and in thanks, the witch casts a spell to give each of them a true desire.

Fred gets a book about ALL traps in the world that is self updating. Daphne gets a suitcase that has the perfect outfit for any occasion. Velma gets a book all about the supernatural that also updates or tells them things they need to know. Shaggy? Shaggy truly wants his dog to live as long as he does. And Scooby? He wants to talk.

After this, they keep going and end up finding real supernatrual mixed in with regular. Daphne begins posting it online, the police know of them...

And at the end of the summer, Velma gets her scholarship. But also is allowed to do her classes online thanks to a wish granted by a grateful genie. They keep going, all over the world, happy as can be.

Notes:

-Velma is a lesbian and ends up with a new love interest every few episodes who keeps being the villain. She's teased for having crushes on felons.

-Scooby turns out to be a fae dog who stays with them.

-Shaggy I feel has a long distance girlfriend who ends up appearing once in a while and is brought up each episode so she is a major character but not around cause she is busy like... discovering the cure for cancer.

-Fred and Daphne get married in Vegas.

-While mostly episodic, there is a few long arching plots (IE: The scholarship and then later probably something like an apocolypse)

-Shaggy and Scooby are both still cowards but Shaggy will also punch a ghost for his friends and Scooby will run back to save them.

-Shaggy ends up getting magic.

-One gets bitten by a werewolf that that's a sub plot for like ten episodes or a season looking for a cure. Either they get cured or stay like it cause why not.

[scripturiends]

in the mood to rank anubis house kids by wealth can someone help me out bc it has been a whileee im rusty on the facts

but i think amber is #1 right bc of her dads work and clearly he has more than enough disposable income to give her everything and then some

next im guessing would be either mara or alfie? mara bc her parents are in the sports industry and alfie has a lawyer dad, both high paying jobs

then eddie is probably next bc his dads the headmaster which should mean a lot considering thats quite a high position even tho hes not very good at his job ++ mick is probably on the same level bc his parents have enough to send him to australia and then get a flight back to the uk on short notice tho he is on a sports scholarship (? i forgot sorry) so maybe that also helps

patricia is probably next bc even tho shes on scholarship (i think? this is just based on the program the secret society said they were in bc theyre descended) piper goes to a really nice school

then id put everyone else in the same vein like i think everyone is more or less on equal footing - joy jerome willow kt nina

bc joy jerome and nina are all on scholarship im p sure? ninas scholarship is confirmed and joy and jerome are part of the descended program thingie which again i dont know what that entails but seeing as they were very concerned abt having to leave the school i think that means it was important to them. and moving to the uk from the us despite being granted a scholarship is no joke, like there are still a lott of expenses. for kt i just dont think she was benefiting from the frobisher smythe estate seeing as she didnt even know robert was her great grandfather. then fabian acknowledged that he never made it to america to see nina bc he couldnt afford it so i think he really does just have enough to go to school live in a dorm and then some but not for out of the country trips. and for willow i just dont know enough to make an inference so yeah

[xexiar]

Snickerdoodle. 1

A potential mini fanfic. College AU. Ao3

---------------------

As I walked into the next chapter of my life, I wondered what awaited me. It was still nerve-racking that I would be going to college far from mom. It's not like I won’t Facetime her or visit on the holidays. But this is the first time I will be completely away from her.

Now, while I took the first of my bags, I studied the dorm map. It seemed my room was going to be on the fourth floor. Even though I knew I was going to share a two-person room, I was still uneasy. If only I were able to afford the single suite. But even with scholarships, I barely made enough to dorm. So, I guess it wouldn’t be too bad to have a roommate. It is not like I would be in the room that often outside of sleeping.

When I turned the corner on the fourth floor, I could hear people talking. And just my luck, the voices came from my shared room. Guess my new roommate got here before I did. I slowly made my way closer, and I was able to pick up that it was a conversation between two people. “Damn brat.”

“I didn’t ask for your help, hag.” Maybe I should just go back to my car and wait it out. But before I could turn to run, someone came out of the room. At that, it was a tall and slender woman. She looked me up and down before crossing her arms.

“Are you the supposed roommate?” I felt frozen in place as I somehow managed to nod. This woman then looked back into the room. Before stepping closer to me. She was practically hovering over me with how tall she was. “Is that really all you got?”

“Um…”

“Speak up.”

I straightened my back as I looked at her red eyes. “The rest is in my car. I came to check to see if I would be able to unpack. But seeing how you’re busy, I’ll come back later.”

Before I could turn around, she grabbed my upper arm and pulled me into the room. “The brat already chose the right side of the room. We just about finished. Do you need help unpacking?”

I couldn’t help but look at my feet as I tried to answer. “That’s alright. I can manage on my own.”

“Really?” At the sound of someone sucking their teeth, I finally looked up. That’s when I met a second pair of red eyes. It didn’t help that this person looked almost exactly like the lady next to me. They both were very tall, with dirty blonde hair and slightly pale skin. The main difference was how the other person was a guy. It also didn’t help that I could faintly tell he was built, with how his shirt hugged his upper body.

I let out a breath as I once again tried to get out of the hold this lady had on me. “Thank you, but I really can do this alone.”

“Let him go, hag.” I tried my best not to look back at that guy. Thankfully, my arm was released, and I was able to drop my bag on the bed that lined the left wall. I then quickly left the room to not only get the rest of my things but to get some fresh air. It wasn’t until I got to my car again that I checked my phone. Maybe there was a possibility I could get a hold of my high school friend, Todoroki, to help me. But I shook my head. There was no way he would drive two hours to help me with this.

Yet I still texted Todoroki, letting him know that I met my new roommate. With that, I went and got one of the moving carts the college supplied for moving and placed all my things inside. Not like it was much. Just a few clothes, bed sheets, and supplies for the bathroom. Even though mom kept insisting that I bring more things, like a mini fridge, but I refused. No matter how much I told her I already made a clear plan, she wouldn’t drop the topic. But I guess that’s what I had to deal with when giving her the news I was dorming the night before I had to leave.

Once I returned to the room, I wasn’t expecting much, but nobody was there. I could only assume that they had left. Which seemed like a good chance to unpack without having to deal with people. From the brief moment of meeting my new roommate, I could already tell he was intense. Just as I was setting up my bed, my phone buzzed. Taking in a deep breath, I took my phone out of my pocket. To my relief, it was just Todoroki. “On my way. Want me to bring you anything?”

“If you can grab some food and drinks, that would be great.” After Todoroki replied with a thumbs up, I went back to fixing my bed. Once my stuff was unpacked, I looked over to my roommate’s side. Compared to my area, he had a lot of stuff. Sure, I kept things simple, but it was still overwhelming. But I couldn’t dwell on that.

I then went about setting up my laptop and changing station. “Is that it?” Never in my life did I turn around so face. When I looked back, there stood my roommate.

“Yeah.” With my short answer, I turned back around. Maybe I should deal with my laptop and stuff later. So, I decided to put everything away and got up. “I’ll let you be.”

“Where are you going?”

I tried my best not to look at him as I shakenly made my way to the door. “I just remembered that I have to do something after I had unpacked.” I didn’t even give him a chance to reply as I ran out of that room. I went all the way to the parking lot and sat in my car. “Damn it. How am I going to deal with even one semester with that hunk as a roommate?”

As I waited in my car, I went about looking through my semester plans. Besides my class schedule, I double-checked my work schedule. I was beyond grateful that my job was remote. At that, I was freelancing as a blogger. And from the looks of it, I had a few articles commissions. So, I went about answering my emails until I got a text. But sadly, it was from my mom, which I ignored.

It wasn’t till Todoroki texted me that I opened my messenger. “Are we eating in your car? Or do you want to go to the park across the street?” I just smiled as I got out of my car. Without missing a beat, I spotted my friend getting out of his car at the other side of the parking lot. Once we got to the park and sat on one of the benches, he gave me a can of orange soda. “Spill it, Midoriya. What’s the roommate like?”

I looked at the can of soda as I took a deep breath. “Dreamy. Well,” I looked at Todoroki. Just in time to get the burger he was handing me. “He’s a complete hunk. But at the same time, he’s so intense. Like,” I took a bite of the burger. “From the brief moment I heard him speaking with, I think, his mom. And the way he talks. He’s just…” I looked at the trees that were across from us as I took another bite of my burger. “Kind of has an attitude.”

“Careful there, Midoriya.” I looked to Todoroki. “Last time you fell for a bad boy, you were sent to the hospital.”

“I told you. He apologized. And we’re friends now.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night.” I couldn’t believe Todoroki.

“It was an accident.”

“I didn’t know a broken rib was considered an accident. But don’t listen to me.”

“Whatever.” We sat in silence as we finished eating. That’s when my phone started to ring. I took it out to see who was calling me. “Fuck.”

“I got this.” Todoroki took my phone and answered it. “New phone, who this?” From the way his eyes rolled, it was clear my mom didn’t buy it. “Yes, Ms. Midoriya. I’ll let him know. Yeah. Yeah. He’s fine. I don’t know. Ok.” He then hung up and gave me back my phone. “She’s asking why your room is completely empty. And if you really meant that you would visit.” We spoke for a bit longer before he had to leave. “My offer still stance if you want to live with me.”

“Thanks, Todoroki. But you already know my answer.” We said our goodbyes, and I went back to my car. Maybe I should go to the nearby 24/7 computer café. At least there, I could work on an article before coming back to sleep. Then again, it felt too long of a day, and I don’t think I have the energy to work. So, I just got out of my car and went to the dorms.

As I neared my room day, I silently hoped that my roommate was not there. If he was, I hope he was too distracted not to pay me any mind. But when I opened my door, I instantly wanted to run away. Not only was he there, he had a guess. It was a red-haired guy who seemed almost as built as him. At that, they were hugging and making out on his bed. So, I quickly closed the door and walked away from the room.

After getting back in my car, I drove off the café. No way I was going back to the dorms tonight. I was so thankful that classes didn’t start till next week. Now more than ever, I needed to avoid my roommate at all costs.

…

I couldn’t help but suck my teeth when the hag brought someone into the room. Was that supposed to be my roommate? What the hell? They had green hair and were wearing baggy clothes. But the moment they looked up at me, I couldn’t help but notice the spread of dark freckles on his lightly tan skin. Or the way his eyes were almost a crystal teal. Not to mention, he looked thin, like he hadn’t eaten a day in his life before. I can at least appreciate that my roommate was decent to look at.

After my roommate left, the hag looked at me. “You be nice to your roommate.” I just rolled my eyes as I finished putting the last of my belongings. “I mean it, brat.”

“I heard you the first time.” With that, I followed my mom back to the car. There, I said goodbye to both my parents. Once they were out of sight, I texted my boyfriend. Speaking of which, I hope he behaves when he meets my roommate. Especially since he was the jealous type. Just thinking about how he would react sent a shiver down my spine. The last time I tried making a male friend, he punched me. Saying things about how the only guy I could ever hang with was him.

As I waited for my boyfriend to text back, I decided to walk for a bit before returning to my room. When I got back, I was somewhat surprised to see my roommate was there. At that, it seemed he was setting up his laptop. I wonder what major he was in. That’s when I noticed his side of the room. It was practically bare and not much of a personality. “Is that it?”

The way he turned around was kind of cute. Especially when I saw the hint of a blush on his face. “Yeah.” And just as quickly as he turned to answer me, he turned back to what he was doing. But I noticed he was pulling everything out and putting it away. I somehow couldn’t help but wonder why. “I’ll let you be?”

Where was he going in such a hurry? “Where are you going?” He didn’t stop walking until he was by the door.

“I just remembered I have something to do after I was done packing.” And just like that, he was gone. What was his deal? I couldn’t help but feel somewhat frustrated. Why is he trying to avoid me? Did I do something that he wasn’t facing me?

Just then, my phone went off with a text. It looked like my boyfriend was going to be here any minute. Maybe it was a good thing my roommate left when he did. I don’t think I would be able to handle it if they met before I could speak to babe first.

As I lay in my bed waiting, I thought about how I would explain to Eijirou. It’s not my fault that the college has it set up for none co-ed dorms. And it’s not like I would ever cheat on him. But he can be hard to deal with when he thinks I like someone that wasn’t him.

I looked at my phone after a few minutes and saw he hadn’t texted that he was nearby. Why do I even bother caring? He always does this. Eijirou would say he was minutes away but would take almost hours to show up. Or worse.

I still couldn’t stop thinking about the times he said he would pick me up for our date and then never showed up. But then he would always try to make it up the next day. Saying how something came up and he forgot to text me. And I believed him every time. Even when I could smell the lingering floral body spray in his car. Or the lipstick marks on his clothes. Not to mention how angry he would get whenever I brought it up. I hated how it would always end up with us fighting.

Sure, I could easily fight back and win. But he would say how lucky I was that we were together. Always brought up how everyone I ever tried going out with rejected me. My mind then wandered to my green-haired roommate. He’s cute. At that, I couldn’t help but frown. I really hope he and my boyfriend don’t cross paths. I don’t want to be trouble for someone else.

As I tried to think about how I would keep Eijirou from meeting my roommate, I got a text. Looking at my phone, I smiled. My boyfriend was downstairs, so I went to meet him. When we got back to the room, he slapped my back end. “Were you being a good boy waiting for me?” I didn’t get a chance to reply when he turned me around and brought me down into a kiss. He was only shorter than me by an inch, but nobody would have known by just looking.

As we kissed, I faintly picked up the floral scent. But I tried to ignore it. When he ended the kiss, I couldn’t help but whine at the loss of the warmth from his lips. “I missed you, babe.”

“I know.” He smiled as we climbed into my bed. We then went back to kissing, and he held me in his arms. These were the few moments that made our relationship worth it. The way being in his arms felt so warm. Or how every time we kissed, it made my heart race. But just then, we heard the door shut. We looked at the same time before he looked back at me. “What was that?”

“I think my roommate has caught us. So, I guess they decided to give us some privacy. I’ll remember to get some type of sign so next time this doesn’t happen.”

“Roommate?” And now here comes. He was mad.

[that-one-i-think]

Being trans and in college

I am in my first semester in college and it has been rough. Due to some mess ups in my financial aid it is really expensive. I am a trans man trying to enter a stem field and it is rough.

My first problem was dorms, my college has mandatory dorming on campus your first year so I was terrified that I wouldn't get a nice roommate. My trans friends were unable to afford to go to my college and I don't blame them, I am barely scrapping by myself, I wasn't able to bring my safety net.

Unfortunately for me, I did end up having to apply for a new roommate because my first one ended up not liking the fact I was trans. She couldn't stand the idea of rooming with me and neither could her parents so I had to put in all of the work to get a new room. That ended up being a major issue and instead of one of us simply having our rooms changes, the school tried to put me in a dorm by myself that would end up costing 2000+ more than my original dorm.

After getting continuous hate from the girl and her mother, I ended up having to report her and she got kicked out and I don't have to spend an addition 2000 more on my dorm. Trans people normally already have a really low income, hormones are not cheap and unfortunately, trying to find a safe place for us can be more expensive than the average person.

I am unfortunate enough to live in Texas and while I do go to a college that is excepting of trans people (with few notable exceptions) I can never truly be myself lest the transphobic hand of the law come down and try to tear my happiness away. I am constantly afraid that all of the money I have put into college will be stripped away because I have to leave the state. It is also almost impossible to find work and I am starting to lose hope that I will be okay and that it is all worth it. I am using a scholarship to hall me and I hope that other trans people who are aiming for college can also apply to this scholarship.

[jamesddarling]

twinkling with the stars | chapter one

chapter one

Remus Lupin learned how to tie his shoes at five years old. He’d watched covertly as one of the latchkey teachers helped another student do her own. He spent the next week sitting on the steps of the front porch, his stuffed cat Milo sat beside him, fingers chaffing as he painstakingly walked himself through the steps; muttering the poem (“over, under, around and through, meet Mr. Bunny Rabbit, pull and through”) under his breath, trying valiantly to ignore the shouts coming from inside his house.

By the end of the week he was able to tie his shoes (though the laces always had a tendency to come undone before the days end, no matter how tight he made them), a feat his mom never noticed as she buckled him into his seat in their little blue sedan in the middle of the night; still in his pajamas, rubbing his eyes with one hand as he clutched onto Milo with the other. That was the first time Remus could remember his mom sneaking them out under the cover of darkness, but it wasn’t the last.

Now, thirteen years later, Remus is sat in the passenger seat of a rental car, his Aunt Ruby in the drivers seat. His mom long gone and the laces of his right Converse unraveling.

Los Angeles is very warm for late August. Remus thinks, fleetingly, that it might have been a bad idea to pack so many of his sweaters. He and Aunt Ruby sit in silence, watching crowds of his future classmates and their families carry boxes and furniture across the campus. Remus has no furniture; just two suitcases full of clothes, toiletries, and two new bed sets and a backpack stuffed to bursting with all of his books and school things, including the laptop Aunt Ruby got him for graduation. He even sees one dark-skinned guy with glasses toting around a surfboard—bright turquoise on top with black and white stripes on the bottom. It’s about a good two feet longer than he is.

“You have your meds, right?” Aunt Ruby asks as they watch the surfer guy try and get the seven-foot board through the entrance of the building. After a moment of struggling, a red-headed girl rushes up to help, holding one end while the guy scans into the door. “And the info for your doctor?”

Remus pats the canvas of his backpack, stuffed between his knees in the footwell. “All right here,” he replies, giving his aunt a reassuring smile.

Her dark brown hair, streaked with grey, is tucked underneath an obnoxiously large sunhat. She’s sweltering in her own seat, wearing light denim overalls with a white t-shirt and her sneakers. If Remus couldn’t see the backdrop of palm trees behind her, he’d almost imagine they were back in North Carolina, sitting on the porch drinking sweet tea after a morning of gardening with their French Bulldog Sandy. A pang goes through him at the thought; he’s going to miss gardening with Aunt Ruby and Sandy. They’d just planted a bunch of Veronica that spring that should be blooming any day now. Remus had made Aunt Ruby promise to send pictures once they had.

“Are you sure you don’t need help getting to your dorm?” Aunt Ruby asks, eyes full of poorly disguised worry.

Remus smiles. “You’ll miss your flight.”

They’d only gotten in the morning before, only able to afford one night together at a hotel. Aunt Ruby’s salary as a high school art teacher was decent for Asheville, but not well-suited for LA. Remus’ school things had already cost them an arm and a leg; it was lucky he’d earned enough scholarships to put a sizable dent in his tuition cost. Though what was leftover was being paid for with his inheritance. However meager it was.

“Fuck my flight,” Aunt Ruby deadpans, causing Remus to sputter out a laugh. He’s always loved how she treats him as an equal. Swear jars were nonexistent in their household, much to his teachers’ consternation. “If you need me I’ll sleep on the floor of your dorm until you kick me out.”

“Don’t know if my roommate would like that much,” Remus replies.

Roommate.

That’s something Remus is definitely going to have to get used to. As an only child and a self-made social pariah, Remus hasn’t had much experience being in close quarters with kids his own age. He’s a naturally introverted person; quiet, reserved, more inclined to burrow into his bed with a book than socialize. He’s also a bit moody and quick to anger and, when he’s in one of his funks, he can be, according to Aunt Ruby, a bit of a nightmare to live with. He hopes his roommate doesn’t take too much offense to that.

His roommate. Sirius Black.

Remus received the name and contact details of his roommate weeks ago and he presumes Sirius received the same email as him. But he must be as hesitant—Remus refuses to say nervous—as Remus is, because the other boy hasn’t reached out. Granted, neither has Remus, but that’s to be expected. As stated previously, he’s a self-made pariah.

As if reading his thoughts, Aunt Ruby reaches out and squeezes Remus’ knee reassuringly. “It’s gonna be okay, hun. You’re going to meet so many amazing people and have so much fun that you won’t even want to come home for Christmas. You’ll see.”

Remus offers her a small smile, despite the fact he doesn’t believe her. He’ll be lucky if someone says two words to him without deeming him a waste of space afterward. The smile seems to mollify Aunt Ruby, who jerks her head towards the back of the car, where Remus’ stuff is taunting him. The anchor at the end of his rope. “C’mon, let’s get you to college.”

 ***

 The building they’ve got him in is co-ed and packed to bursting with life. Already there are people scattered across all of the surfaces of the common area, talking and laughing and—in some cases—passing questionable-smelling substances back and forth. Remus can hear what sounds like an entire football team worth of girls giggling and squealing in the kitchen. The claustrophobic atmosphere is giving him a headache and making his skin crawl. He’s quick to hitch his backpack higher on his shoulder and maneuver himself and his suitcases towards the, thankfully, less crowded stairs. Remus is on the third floor, a fact that’s been making him nervous ever since he found out.

Aunt Ruby was all ready to pitch a fit with the school in order to get him a room on the ground floor, but Remus wouldn’t let her. He wasn’t about to start his college career being known as that asshole who got special treatment before even stepping foot on campus. Instead, Remus has been carefully training his body by taking walks every morning. At first, the constant aching of his muscles and joints made the walks unbearable; he was lucky to get to the end of the block without keeling over. However, each day it got easier and easier; the fresh air cleared his head and his lungs, the constant motion of his body left less time for his legs to cramp up, and he often arrived back at the house feeling as if he’d walked himself right into a new body. Of course, the hot baths he often found himself in afterward helped too. He’d have to get used to not having that luxury now.

The crowds of people get thinner the higher he climbs, though noise follows him wherever he goes. People running from room to room introducing themselves or apologizing as they maneuver boxes and furniture through the halls. Someone’s blaring Kid Cudi on the second floor and Remus cringes; yeah, there’s a lot he’s going to have to get used to. Including his peers’ terrible taste in music.

By the time he makes it to the third floor, Remus is panting and sagging from the weight of his bags and the noise from the bottom two floors has lessened to a dull throbbing in the back of his skull. It is, blessedly, almost barren up here with only a few doors open and quiet conversation drifting out from their rooms. Remus takes a moment to compose himself before he makes his way down the hall, examining each door to find his own. He finds it about four doors from the end of the hall, where a window is cracked open while a red-headed guy with snakebites is leaning against the wall with a cigarette dangling from his lips. Remus offers a polite nod that’s returned before he turns to his door; 7G, reads the brass plaque and, on the slip of paper taped underneath it: Remus Lupin & Sirius Black.

Remus takes in a deep breath and opens the door.

The room is average size, maybe a bit smaller than his own room at home, but made smaller by the furniture stuffed inside. Two beds are pressed against either wall, raised up to accommodate the drawers and shelves underneath, with a window overlooking the courtyard between them. There’s two small, slightly worn in looking desks bracketing the doorway, both with shelves above them ready for textbooks and knickknacks. Under the window, in the cramped space between both beds, are two nightstands knocking against one another with even more drawer space. The one on the right is already claimed, taken up by an odd looking object that might be a lamp; the shade a wonky diamond shape with little holes that’s shapes are indistinguishable from Remus’ position in the doorway.

In fact, the entire right side of the room is already claimed. It seems as if Sirius Black has already come and gone.

The bed is made up with midnight blue sheets and an orange pleated quilt that looks as if its seen better days. Above the headboard is a framed picture of a constellation that Remus can’t name and the far right wall is absolutely covered in canvases, papers, and framed photos of various sizes. The canvases and papers all depict different sea creatures in a combination of mediums: blue whales in paints (Remus isn’t quite skilled enough in the arts to tell the difference between oils and acrylics, not for lack of trying on Aunt Ruby’s part), an octopus in what appears to be charcoal, harbor seals and sea turtles in delicate watercolors. There’s one small painting, however, that just shows a massive wave with a small figure surfing. They’re all bright, vibrant, and lovingly crafted. His textbooks are stacked haphazardly on the desk, next to an ancient-looking vinyl record player. There’s a wooden milk crate at the end of the bed that holds a small collection of vinyls; Remus can just make out the cover of one, stark white with a giant banana on it.

Sirius has, apparently, made himself quite at home already. Remus tries not to think about how the only things he brought from home to decorate his room are his favorite books and two framed photos. One of himself and Aunt Ruby sitting on the front steps of the house shortly after he came to live with her and one of his mother at about twenty years old, before she married his father and had him. She looks so happy and carefree in the picture, smiling and exuding life in a way that Remus can’t ever remember seeing.

Squaring his shoulders, Remus walks the rest of the way into the room and leaves the door slightly cracked behind him. He makes quick work of unpacking, emptying all of his clothes into the drawers under the bed and stuffing his toiletry bag into one of the shelves. His textbooks and books from home go on the shelf above the desk, his notebooks for school and his personal journals in the drawers, his laptop and charger carefully positioned in the center of the desk. The two framed photos go on the nightstand, his meds in the top drawer. Making his bed up with the new sheets is a bit of a challenge, seeing as its so high up, but Remus manages; smoothing the butter-yellow fabric meticulously and tucking the corners of the dove grey comforter in tightly. His stuffed black cat, Milo, who’s missing a chunk of one ear and an eye now, gets set delicately between his pillow and the wall, hidden from keen eyes.

After his suitcases are empty and his backpack is just filled with the textbooks he’ll need for his first classes, Remus kicks the bags into a corner and takes a book from his shelf, climbing to rest on his freshly made bed. He opened the window a crack to let in a breeze when he got too hot while unpacking and now the sounds of students yelling and laughing while they run across campus drifts up into the otherwise quiet room. He settles back against his pillows and cracks open his book, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, letting the early summer breeze lull him into another world.

He gets in a decent half hour of reading and the noise outside has settled down to a low murmur, everyone busy getting settled in their dorms. Remus is just thinking of grabbing his bag to explore, possibly find the mess hall to get something to eat since he’s not had anything since breakfast at the hotel, when a stampede of footsteps sounds from out in the hall and he’s startled out of his reading by a loud bark of laughter. “Prongs,” the laughing voice says, sounding breathless—Remus abruptly goes breathless as well, he’s never heard such a…musical voice before. It sounds like sleigh bells and stardust. “You hit her with your surfboard?”

“It was an accident!” Another, deeper, voice whines, though not without its own shred of amusement.

“Just—outright whacked her in the head with it, Pads, it was the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.” This voice is gleeful and mischievous. And getting closer. Remus climbs down from his bed and collects his things, stuffing his book and laptop in his backpack and making sure his wallet is deep in his pocket. If he’s quick he can slip past the boys before they get the urge to start a conversation. They seem like a chatty bunch.

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll see it next time,” the musical voice chortles. “You know James is practically married to that board. He’ll probably end up taking it to classes!”

“I will not, you dick,” James says. James, so not Remus’ roommate. Small mercies; he doesn’t think a surfboard would fit very well with everything else in the room.

“Lord, I’m gonna be tripping over that thing all year,” the third voice groans and the first voice laughs again.

“You’re the one who decided to room with him! You know what he’s like! But it’s not too late to swap if you want to, Pete. I’ve been whacked with James’ surfboard enough times to know when to duck.”

“Is that a euphemism?” Pete asks, sounding genuinely curious.

“Nice try, Sirius,” James replies and Remus freezes where he stands with his hand on the doorknob. Sirius. Sirius is the boy with the musical voice. His roommate. Who…appears to not want to be his roommate. Fair enough; Remus didn’t want a roommate either, but freshmen, unfortunately, had no choice in the matter.

“Listen,” Sirius huffs. He’s close. Too close. They’re right outside the door. Remus is not going to get away without having a Conversation. “I’m sure the guy won’t mind; he’s not said two words to me all summer.”

Remus frowns. Oh, hello Pot, meet Kettle.

“Besides, he sounds like a pushover anyway. I mean, what kind of name is Remus? I bet he’s a loser. He won’t be any trouble for you, Peter.”

I bet he’s a loser. I bet he’s a loser. I bet he’s a loser.

Oh, so that’s Sirius Black. Connoisseur of cool and the self-made king of the court. Remus has met him many times, in many variations, throughout his life. He knows how to handle bullies; this year is going to be a cakewalk.

“Sirius!”

“What?!”

“The door!”

It’s as the door gets pushed all the way open that Remus remembers he’s still holding the knob and he steps back hastily in order not to get smacked in the face. He’s met by three figures, each with wide eyes and two with embarrassed expressions. The third looks as if he wishes the floor would swallow him whole.

The guy in the middle is tall—though not as tall as Remus—and dark-skinned, with messy black hair and hazel eyes hidden behind thick rimmed square glasses. He’s dressed in khaki shorts and a tight red t-shirt. Remus recognizes him as the guy with the surf board he saw earlier, so he must be James.

The boy to his left is shorter, stocky, with blonde hair in a Justin Bieber style. He’s got round, kind blue eyes and plump rosy cheeks. He’s gnawing on his bottom lip hard enough to turn it red and looking between the third guy and Remus with an anxious expression. So, this must be Peter.

And the third figure. Oh, the third figure nearly has Remus’ knees falling out from under him. Cause this must be Sirius Black, there’s no way it couldn’t be.

He’s thin and pale, decked all in black; leather jacket and Doc Martens on as if it’s not hot enough to cook an egg on the pavement outside. He’s got long, black hair pulled back in a ponytail on top of his head and, what appears to be, a paintbrush tucked behind his ear. His cheekbones are high and prominent, his nose dainty and upturned, full lips begging to be bloodied. He’s got multiple earrings, rings on his fingers, and tattoos peeking out of the collar of his shirt. He’s the Bad Boy incarnate. A walking wet dream.

But the thing that really takes Remus’ breath away are his eyes. Oh, his eyes. They’re the lightest shade of grey Remus has ever seen; mercurial, almost like starlight, and framed with impossibly thick eyelashes. It’s not fair that someone as rude and judgmental as him gets to be this beautiful, but that’s the world Remus lives in.

“Oh, fuck,” Sirius breathes, cheeks going red with mortification.

James offers a weak smile and wave. “Hello, you must be Remus.”

Remus, still staring Sirius down, nods. “Yeah, that’s me, the loser.”

Sirius’ grey eyes close. “Oh, fuck.”

[of-his-dragoon-ways]

One class is $600 and I'm only able to take two each semester due to my financial situation. I have a part time job, bills, hospital bills, etc, however, the area in that I live in is ableist. Imagine living in a place where they don't see autism, epilepsy amd DID as a disability. This is a huge problem because people with DID experience large memory gaps which can greatly effect your grades, and autism effects the way we learn new information and interact with others.....and epilepsy can literally kill me. You tell me if I'm considered to be that of the social norm and able to function normally in society without any help whatsoever. The fact that I'm incapable of swimming is down right depressing, along with the fact that I become mute around my partner. I would do anything to live a normal life or be able to get a scholarship without being denied just for having a disability on record. This is why we're majoring in criminal justice and genetics, perhaps we can be that one person that makes a fucking difference in this world.

Now what does this have to deal with legit dolls??

You now know my financial status and are aware that I own legitimate BJDs. I am more than capable of budgeting and managing my money like neurotypical folks. I'm not a goddamn child, I'm a whole ass adult.

Recasters: you have dolls but can't afford college??

Me: my dolls are cheaper than fucking college and the books are free at my institution. We pay nothing as long as the books don't get damaged.

Recasters: you could save up 🥴

Me: save up $20k in a year for five prerequisite classes, 4 lab classes, 2 language classes and dorms???? I don't have that kind of money. Thats 40k a year. This is why I live off campus and have to drive far

[jadedrrose]

Man fuck it I’m ranting here lol

(Y’all do not need to read this at all)

My 2 friends like do not understand I don’t want to cut off my family? Anytime I say “oh my parents pissed me off today but it’s like fine I’m just mad” they immediately tell me I have to run away and cut them off?? And then I’ll entertain them and be like “ok but where do I go? Because if I cut them off by extension I’m cutting off my cousins/extended family and can’t stay with them” and then they just go “oh idk figure it out” BUT THEN WHEN ONE OF THEM RAN AWAY WHEN THEY CAME OUT AS NON BINARY THE OTHER ONE OFFERED FOR THEM TO LIVE WITH HER???? I also don’t even have a fucking car because I’m poor as shit, so how do they expect me to leave with no help at all when I also have 6 animals to take with me. Their other solution is then “you need to go to college then bc you’ll have a dorm” but bro??? if I’m already poor with no car that ain’t gonna work, and I had my only change of getting a scholarship taken away because I had a shitty teacher in HS who failed the whole class. Also not to mention how hard it is to get hired?? I’ve applied to at least 15 places and only heard back from 4, all of which was just to tell me “actually we can’t hire you because you have no experience”.

And then there’s the fact I’m bi but due to excessive bullying from when I was in school I basically have a mindset of nobody could ever possibly find me attractive, so I can’t ever get married (bc I’m the type who’d be dating for long term stuff, absolutely no flings at all). So whenever I’m talking about that I’ll say “no guy would want me anyway I’m gross looking and have high standards” they’ll tell me “oh just marry a girl then” but like, no. Maybe I would date a girl (but again, I want to date to find the one I wanna spend my life with) but I can’t ever see myself marrying one, especially when my family would probably disown me if I did lol. (And is it wrong to say I would prefer a guy? Like I have crushes on girl characters n stuff but I’ve never seen a girl irl and wanted to fall on the floor and beg for her to love me lol) So then they say I have to cut them off so I can go marry a woman but like, I never even said I wanted to marry a woman? 😭 idk how they don’t understand this.

My last straw is that my mom might hire me to be a teacher at her preschool so then I was like “oh well I hate waking up early, so in theory I could go to sleep at like 7-8 pm and wake up around 3 ish so that I’m already up” and then they got mad at me for considering it ?? They were like “what if she just wants to use you for labor and not pay you? You’re just gonna be relying on her forever then” ???? Why would my mom not pay me… when she offered me higher pay compared to the retail stuff I’ve applied to……. what isn’t clicking….so then I said “it doesn’t matter anyway I’m not moving away until I can afford a small house, I’d have too much anxiety (I’m scared somebody around me would leave their oven or something on and then burn down my apartment where my beloved cats, puppy and snake would be) to live in an apartment” and apparently that logic makes no sense because I HAVE to leave now. I’m only 18, how could I possibly leave even if I wanted to???? uuughhfhtngnnfnfnffjfjgn

I don’t wanna cut my friends off either bc they’re literally the only friends I have left. And like usually they’re fine otherwise but idk

If you read this I am sorry but also grateful lol, I hope my train wreck life is at least entertaining like a Reddit AITA would be

[blue-eyed-bloodstains]

01. where would you love to go to college? what kind of college is it? I’ve ultimately wanted to go to Full Sail University since my senior year (2010) and I even did the research and had a rep from there who came to NJ to present at our high school about it come to my house for an interview about it...even had roommates set up, a scholarship of $20k, the works. but it all fell apart and I couldn’t go, both by not having the means at the time due to moving around from family drama and there was no way to get there or afford to live off campus since they didn’t have dorms on campus. it’s a media school in the top 5 in the US and I wanted to pursue being a music producer if I went...

I also before that guy came senior year, always wanted to go to NYU for journalism/songwriting. I went to my local community college for Journalism and Public Speaking In Media for a bachelors, using my scholarship but I only completed one semester and had to move...so I never completed college and I lost the majority of that scholarship cause it expired...big regrets, I’d give anything to get a degree preferably online... 02. is there anywhere you’d love to go, but you wouldn’t go due to things there (people, natural disasters, etc.)? isn’t that basically the entire fuckin world at this point..? anywhere you go, there’s shit going down so it would be scary to go to any of the places I’ve always wanted to travel to and experience 03. do you know anyone who has/had swine? who? ...okay, meaning like owned pigs or had the swine flu? lol no not personally but there’s a lot of farmland here with many different animals so I’m sure someone has a bunch of hogs and piggies fenced in :P 04. do you like polaroid photography? yeah, would love to learn how to take amazing photos like that

05. did you ever watch that old nick show, ginger? As Told By Ginger! hell yeah, loved it! 06. is there a friend of yours who curses nonstop? who would that be? pssh myself more than anyone, literally barely can make a simple sentence about the most random small talk without cursing to some degree XD 07. don’t you hate when you put lyrics as a status and everyone comments it asking what it means / why it’s your status? I hate that they can’t relate to them or understand that it’s me crying out pretty much...I post lyrics or sayings/phrases all the time relating to my mental illnesses, emotions, physical illnesses...and I’m still alone with it all. 08. what internet browser do you use? Chrome or Firefox 09. what do you usually do to let your feelings out? listen to music, cry, DRINK TILL I BLACK OUT AND AM NUMB...

10. what was the last thing you uploaded / plugged into the computer? oh god no idea, I fucked up my small USB flash drive so it can’t recognize it when I plug it in...and my cd tray, the cover where you press the button to have it pop out snapped off so now I don’t know how to get it to pop out so I can play movies..and yes, both were from me black out drunk and the laptop sliding off me to the floor. 11. what is your last class of the day? I’m not in school 12. who do you think has your back more: your girl friends or your guy friends? guy friends for sure, I’ve always tended to be closer with guys than girls. being a hardcore tomboy all my life helps lol 13. do you think boys notice things more than girls? or vice versa? it’s hard to say cause everyone’s different, so I hate putting them into a statistic or stereotype. I’d say it’s pretty even for both 14. are you participating in project 365 (you take a picture of you/something everyday of the year and post it)? I’d love to try but not enough things I can post...I’m constantly home with nowhere to go and it’s very hard to be out and about for more than a short time given physical illness weakening me for years so no 15. do you have a flickr? if so, post the link. oh DEAR FUCKING GOD I completely forgot about Flickr! lol no I don’t and never did 16. am i the only one who would go to the ends of the earth to see their favorite band perform? I don’t know you so I mean, I can’t say for sure..but I’ve got several bands and comedians in mind that I would personally 17. do you think it’s dumb when a band smashes their instruments, or do you find it totally radical? meh I don’t really care

18. have you ever made a gif? if not, do you think it’d be interesting to make one? yeah I’ve always been interested in how to do it and I’d go insane making so many once I knew how to lol 19. are you excited for the beginning of american idol? no I haven’t watched for years..last one I saw win was around Jordin Sparks/Adam Lambert/David Cook seasons...I love watching the terrible auditions on youtube though lol 20. do you feel like you need some inspiration, or are you totally inspired right now? I definitely need inspiration... 21. when you feel uninspired, do you feel like you need to go somewhere to become inspired? definitely but rarely get the chance to 22. do you like driving games, or not so much? yeah 23. do you have trouble coming up with good surveys questions? I’ve never made em, I love taking good ones I find

[usedtohaveascenewithhim]

I'm trying really hard not to strangle my roommate when she gets home, so here's the text I wanted to send her:

I was not complaining. I was trying to bring attention to something I wanted to fix that would mutually benefit us, because we both leave shit out.

You’re right about the lights. I was raised better than to leave the lights on, and I’m sorry. I’ve been very forgetful lately (surely you don’t believe that I do it for shits and giggles). I’ll do better in the future. However, it costs pennies on the dollar to keep lights on. Everybody’s electricity bill is high because of how the weather has been, and we agreed to split it 50/50. If you want to start splitting by percentages, then you can start paying for the portion of my low-FODMAP foods that you eat. That about covers the difference.

As for the trash— a decent amount of it was your trash. It was one bag. I collected all of the trash I could find in the LDK and sink that night. That’s why it was so full. I wasn’t asking you to take out all of the recycling or cardboard (though I am frustrated about the recycling and cardboard. Not mad—but if we had each taken something out every day, we would have been done two weeks ago).

I recognize that I do not have a history of practicing what I am confronting you about, but I’m making a renewed effort at living my life instead of just surviving. I’m sorry if it seemed like I was acting as though I did not actively engage in the behaviors that I’m referencing. That’s why I didn’t want to talk about it that night. I was halfway into a glass of wine. That’s not an excuse—I certainly could have explained it better with more context regardless of my condition. But after going home to clean up my family’s life, I really didn’t want to come home to have to clean the fucking carpet. To me, leaving things out when I’m actively at home is one thing. There is always the potential to clean it up. When I leave for a trip, my default has always been to get everything squared away. You have only ever known me when my trips have been mostly 36 hours or less, so it didn’t matter as much in the dorms. When I move into places, it takes a while for my old “this is home base” routines to kick in (and the depression and covid and all of that. I’ve been a mess this semester is what I’m trying to say).

Do not complain to me about your job. I work my ass off and manage my money so that I don’t find myself up shits creek without a paddle. I have had more time than you to do this—more semesters, yeah, but also more summer breaks, winter breaks, etc. I’ve probably spent more time working than in class. Yes, I’m privileged. I have a safety net. I grew up with 99% of my material needs fulfilled one way or another. That does not mean that my problems are any less valid than yours. I have offered to help you reduce your grocery bill. I have offered to help with budgeting resources and scholarships. I have offered to help you with your loans. If you don’t want my help, fine! The university offers financial counseling for students. But don’t act like you don’t have resources at your fingertips. And guess what? The only difference between your cashflow and mine (beyond income) is that I utilize my credit card effectively month to month. That’s how people are able to fucking afford things with a paycheck like mine. Also, “Daddy” doesn’t pick up the check. I pay for more of my own shit than he ever did in college, and his parents weren’t as well off as my father is. That speaks nothing of the fact that my father often requires his children to pay for their own things. It builds character. If I ask him to pay for something, I know he might say no, and I have to be okay with that. Is he going to say no in the dead of winter when I can’t pay my portion of the electric bill? No. That’s why I make sure that I NEVER have to ask him, which I can do through because of a job that broke me this semester My mother (a first generation college student) is proud of how I budgeted ON MY OWN and how I conduct my finances while eating on a diet that is required for me to live a meaningful life—which, by the way, costs about twice as much as your grocery bill month to month. You could lower your grocery bill by purchasing the Great Value bottle of cranberry juice instead of Ocean Spray. You can’t complain about not being able to afford groceries and then buy name brand products.

I’m sorry that I have let my emotional mess reflect in all aspects of my life. I’m trying to take care of myself, but it’s hard when you don’t know if any of it is medical or somatic (which is, in and of itself, medical). I have more doctors than I have friends, I have no support system beyond the middle aged empty nesters and millennials that I drink with, and my brain literally does not work. I’ve been trying not to vent to you since our conversation a couple of weeks ago (or whenever that happened. Time doesn’t exist), so if you don’t want to hear my problems, don’t ask me what’s wrong. I do not care if you ignore me actively crying. I’d rather sit with my emotions or go see Quinton at Prairie St than have the fact that I confided in you thrown back in my face. I would rather use up more energy calming myself down to go out than feel like this right now.

We have different problems. It isn’t bad. They’re just different. You’ve always been allowed to complain. We’re peers. If you think I’m being a jackass, tell me. If you think I’m depressed as fuck and don’t realize that I’m leaving all of my shit out, tell me. If you decide that we need a good old fashioned MGR-inspired cleaning day, then fucking say the word. I’ll turn on some music and we can take the entire day to deep clean this whole fucking apartment.

[a-bruised-display]

I'm going to preface this by stating that I am nonbinary, and I do firmly place myself under the transgender umbrella. I use they/them pronouns and I refuse to be anything other than proud of who I am. This will always be difficult, though, as no one around me ever seems to respect who I am. I started college just a few weeks ago, and the struggle and pain to even begin is nothing less of disheartening. I've always struggled with money, my family could be described as 'in poverty' with ease. And after I came out to them? Any support I might have had, even just rides to and from the college, vanished like thin smoke. They do not care about me, perhaps they even detest me. Any given opporutinty to disrespect me and they will, any chance to bad-talk anyone transgender and they will. They use my deadname constantly, assigning me pronouns that physically pain me to hear. I thought college would be different, you know? I thought I could find like-minded people, maybe even solace. I've found nothing, though. Just mountains of debt and smug professors who bear down on me. I wear a simple wristband displaying the pride colours, because this is who I am and I refuse to be ashasmed, but I can feel the stares. The weight of disapproval and the student-body glaring at me. I had the courage to ask just one of my professors about using my chosen name and pronouns-- I was rebuked. My name is Tori. Tell me why that is so difficult? So unttainable? I refuse to be ashamed, this is who I am and I will not back down-- but I feel the pain everyday. I am the outcast and the other, the thing to sneer at. You would think you'd get used to it, after a time, but each jab still feels like a dagger straight through the chest.

I struggle with finding a job, and believe me I've tried. I live in a fairly urban area and I submit 5-10 job applications on a weekly basis. I've applied to everything I can possible think of and is offered, but nothing ever gets back to me. Or if it does it always accompanies the "We don't feel you're right for this position." To be honest, I'm not sure what the 'right' fit is for a janitor, but it leaves me disheartened nontheless. I struggle with trying to move out of my family home, I'm much too pained by the dismissal and disrespect over my idenity. But wouldn't you know? I was denied for that too. I can't share a room with any dormmates because of my idenity, and single room dorms are far too expensive. I'm already in enough debt and drowning under the weight of it. Perhaps I am too maudlin, because there is hope. I have a single friend who I stake my life upon. She actually uses my name, you know? Tries my pronouns quite often. She forgets sometimes and messes up on others, but she tries and I am forever grateful for it. In a few years, once we progess farther in college and amass even more debt I can never pay off, we plan to move in together. Some crappy, cheap apartment somewhere while we figure things out and work towards our goals. I want to be a teacher. Isn't that funny? But it's true, I want to be a teacher. My life was shaped by my teachers growing up, for good or for ill. And while I had some lovely teachers that encourges and helped me-- I had just as many who were downright horrible. I seek to levy that balance, help the students I can and try to find my own happiness in the meantime. If I can help just one student like how my favoured teachers helped me-- saving my life with ink and prose, then I would consider my life a life well-lived. I don't want to stop there, though. I want to help all the students I can, teach them and help them grow. And one day? One day I want to be happy, living under my own name and in my own body. Hopefully with less debt while I'm at it.

[lepidopterium]

~