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#like am i just doing it wrong somehow or is it literally. just. fuck
genspiel · 11 months
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don't get me wrong i love wanderer in general he's an amazing character but also every time an opponent brings his card into a tcg round i die a little inside
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wormmpile · 2 months
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Sometimes I see someone say something about a piece of media as if it is revelatory mind blowing hot off the press news, and not the most basic obvious point of the work or the most basic obvious allusion, and it makes me roll my eyes a little because I'm like yeah yeah the time knife we've all seen it, and then I have to like physically step in and shake myself and be like actually Susan we have Not all seen the time knife, and anyway someone else is enjoying the wonders of media analysis as a hobby for maybe like. The first time in their life if they're young enough. Don't be a bozo just because you think you're smart. Nerd. Fuckass. If you were a high school english teacher you'd be pissing yourself in joy rn because someone connected the dots. That's so cool that they did that. And I go about my day because I'm normal
#i also do this with history stuff but somehow less... even though it's my actual academic field which i am trained in#i think bc i always felt out of my depth in my history program and the only reason i was ever any good at it#is because im innately just good at understanding media#like all my history work was secretly just an excuse for me to do literary and rhetorical analyses of very niche real world paraphernalia#if i got my grad degree in something completely fucking useless it would be either rhetoric or comparative literature#but sometimes people do say base historical facts that are just fundamentally incorrect and sometimes conspiratorial garbage#and it does make me want to die#anyway this is about someone in a youtube video arguing that flowers in the attic by vc andrews is a gothic horror novel#babe that's.... that is in fact the genre of that novel#0 note post#im aware it is an insanely cocky ridiculous thing to say that im innately good at understanding media but the thing is#im right#i dont have to study it the media just tells me things it whispers them in my ears sensually and i nod and take notes#i see the patterns constantly it's pretty scary#i told my friend recently about my secret plan to one day write a novel length thesis on why house of leaves and moby dick are the same#type novel and they were like saturn your brain is so big and well it is because tell me im wrong. you cant#the whale is literally a house#i think i could make it a whole thing about Haunting as a physical presence within the narrative and expand it beyond those 2 books if i was#ambitious enough. because good ghost stories and stories of the dead are all warped at their foundations#they were broken before they ever came to you by the weight of all the death inside them#this is my poetic justification for why moby dick is unnecessarily long btw. the chapter where ishmael lists white things actually was#necessary because well it's about grief. can't forgive the bad whale facts though#i mean for the time maybe but there is no justification for them they're just extremely funny
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im-smart-i-swear · 1 year
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i always assumed he cut his hair with a pair of shitty scissors in front of his bathroom mirror at like 2am
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hella1975 · 1 year
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not someone commenting on tams to tell me to update taob. what if you fucked off forever
#the actual nerve of some people like it's bad enough getting those kinds of comments ON taob#bc obviously any comment along the lines of 'im literally begging you to update' is gonna piss the fuck out of a writer#BUT TO DO IT ON A DIFFERENT FUCKING FIC????? HAVE A HORRIBLE DAY#and the fact these people not only dont think they're doing anything wrong but think they're COMPLIMENTING ME#'i love your writing so much please update taob' IS NOT A FUCKING COMPLIMENT. LET ALONE ON A FIC THAT HAS NO RELEVANCE TO TAOB#WITH NO MENTION OF TAMS IN THE COMMENT EITHER. NO 'I REALLY LIKE THIS FIC. UPDATE TAOB' not that that would make it okay#but the utter audacity of it all is jarring. how are you gonna clearly have read tams and felt the need to comment#just to have NOTHING to say about it and tell me to update a different fic. actually fuck off#ending the comment with 'okay i love you' do you now. do you really. well it's unrequited babe. fuck off#you people make me mad sometimes istg#'hella why are you always so negative about taob's popularity' when i get something good out of it i'll let you know#edit: they left that comment on ch1 of tams which actually implies they didn't even read it which is somehow. worse#like they've clearly just clicked on it with no regard for the passion and effort i put into it seeing as it's a WHOLE SEPERATE FIC#and considered only that i might give the comment more attention if it was on tams not taob. what the actual fuck is the thought process#in what WORLD is someone taking that as a compliment. in what world am i gonna go 'omg writing it rn just for you bestie 🥺'#actually fuming about this idk why this one has got to me so much the utter CHEEK of it all has really knocked me sideways lmaooo
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smileandasong · 8 months
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society if i could go one day without a sw*ftie literally threatening me when i rightfully acknowledge and call her out on her problematic behaviors. like your faves can and will be problematic, babes, and that is *fine*, you can still like them!!! you just also have an obligation to be aware of this and call them out, like, why is this such an abstract concept to them, what fucking hold does this woman have on them.....
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honeyviscera · 27 days
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anyways i'm literally right about everything ever <-the drama they were having with this one person at work was literally the other person being shitty and immature
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peppermintbutch · 6 months
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The next semester is going to KILL me. Bachelor thesis which idk what I want to write about AT ALL and if my adhd brain is even able to do it, two seminars that are probably gonna be super boring bcs the seminars this semester all suck for some reason AND immediately after that I have to do a work experience and write a report abt that. Oh and the semester starts NEXT WEEK
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faithisland · 6 months
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fuck man it's so fucking frustrating how I'd probably love to clean and organize if i were ablebodied (or even just didn't have my specific conditions but still the nd traits)
I just can't be moving my head around like crazy. walking while moving my arms, reaching my arms down and immediately up, lowering my head to the ground to reach something and then standing back up, having no momentary neck support at any time, those are the worst for me. I would do any task, honestly. I just feel so fucking trash every time I do these kinds of things. standing is excruciating, moving my arms while doing it literally affects my consciousness to the point where I lose track of what I'm doing (and not in the typical adhd way).
as long as I can stay stationary, particularly partially lounging, I am capable of rational, logical thought. I can think through long term consequences, remember the basic physics of the universe, generally function like I am not an alien to this dimension.
#i literally drop things bc i forget im holdinf them#or i think that idk it wont drop ljke im a fuxking astronaut#i slam into things bc i forget i have a physical form#literally being up and movinf around makes my brain SO dissociated and im SO dizzy and my vision is wonky and i can barely focus on staying#up right#but i can do things like go for walks#its all about how much i move my arms and get up and down#so badically i seem like im faking it🫥#i can do 'fun' things but not work#not paying attention to the faxt that i dont much like the activities im doint#i do them to stay alive and make others happy#and genuinely i am incapable of what would make me happy#WHICH IS WORK#GENUINELY#my life is miserable BECAUSE i cant clean or move around#i hate feeling like i contribute nothing to the ppl i love#i hate not being organized#and i HATE not working so so so so so much#the sad fact is that i just really cant work#i have to somehow get better#even though no one knows whats wrong w me or believes im genion3ly experiencing it#i dont have seizures apparently its normal to collapse and go into spasms w ur eyes rolled back in your head.#apparently thats normal#apparently its fine to hallucinate my whole life and have fainting spells and confusion and disorientation and feel sensations as other thin#gs#thats kusy notmal and not indicitive of ANY neurological priblem#so i should shut up and go away and get some CBT about it#i jusy dont fucking know whatcyh3 fuck i am supposed to do#what am i supposed to do to be able to work
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cescalr · 1 year
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the brainrot is continuing. im making sims now. nobody would like to seem them though i’ll probably showcase them at some point anyway. when i like them. when they pass the vibe check 
#i have made a few. wil q sap karl tommy tubbo nikki and puffy. im in the process of making techno#bc he's the next easiest on the remaining list (ive got all the cc i need)#(and yes somehow with a hold on#187 - jesus fucking christ - GB mods folder i don't have everything i need. next will be... ranboo... probably. and i'll finish manifold#once i get a pair of white 3D red blue paper glasses which are really really hard to find#jsyk. and that's annoying but whatever. after that i guess its a dartboard. not dream. he's so specific how am i going to make that skin. he#doesn't even have a face. wil was hard enough with his blank stare and no mouth but dream??? he's just GREEN#anyway. ive also made hannah#antfrost literal cat man kind of impossible. way down the line that one#badboyhalo probs not too difficult. maybe him after ranboo.#eret soon. eret asap#also yes i keep spelling niki wrong im sorry.#oh ive also done schlatt. hm. purpled and punz don't seem too difficult#finding a mask (ski mask? balaclava?) for ponk will be like impossible that's a very specific pattern#skeppy is gonna. need a lot of fanart references. yeah.#slimecicle the beloved will be when i feel up to the daunting task of making my blorbo#sam is. horrendous. how do i make a creeperman in the sims#phill is just that guy from bleach his sim probably already exists lbr#michael hbomb eryn boomer idk who you are so they'll be later on when i do know who they are#same for tina.#connor's full legal name is ConnorEatsPants so im. not. making him. sorry. get a better surname i don't have to see in the sims Mr. EP#as for dream xd md and drista... probs only drista#if i feel like it#idk them either though. so. when i know them. maybe then.#md wouldn't be difficult. i've already made quackity lalksdjf;alsdf#i forgot to close a bracket somewhere in there. oh well. better late than never)#dsmp#for my own later finding. hopefully that tag is buried enough not to end up maintagged oh god
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giantkillerjack · 2 years
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Infinity Train isn't the best counterpart to Last of Us on positive representation. Remember the only explicitly Neurodivergent character in Infinity Train became a villain and died brutally on screen?
No, I don't remember. But what I do remember is that the entire core concept of the show is basically "a train that puts people through magical therapy." And so I remember that nearly every lead character is clearly dealing with some form of mental illness or another. I don't need every character to be explicitly diagnosed onscreen to know that the show is chock-full of neurodivergent characters, so I'm quite genuinely not sure what you mean. Have I missed something?
#like correct me if I'm wrong but i recall Simon's inability to see other living creatures as fully alive came from a place of entitlement#and i didn't see it as an accident that it was the white boy who was ultimately unable to break free of the power it gave him#but like. I don't know how a neurodivergent person can watch season 2 and come away with#the idea that MT is somehow a neurotypical character written by a neurotypical person#and in season 4 the guys fight a monster that is the literal embodiment of depression. am i missing something?#what does simon have? i don't recall him explicitly stating a mental illness or difference. maybe I've forgotten#but like. all the characters are mentally ill. for some of them that is why they are on the train!#having all of them state an official medical diagnosis would not only be distracting but impossible in some cases#mt doesn't have access to mental health services how could they know??#simon was a mentally ill person who got so fucking sucked into the comfort and power of cultism that he was lost and it was a tragedy#I never got the impression that this was because he was more mentally ill than other people on the train.#just like how people who get really into conspiracy theories are not doing it because they are mentally ill.#illness might make them more vulnerable to brainwashing but there is a DRIVE that has to be there too.#and very often that drive is a kind of hatred and insecurity that cannot be reasoned with. it is a tragedy. a very real tragedy.#original
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beast-of-the-void · 1 month
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#Been taking my meds as prescribed and have been on the edge of a panic attack for nearly 2 weeks now#My body is in a tremendous amount of pain#but I gotta pretend I am okay just to have people quit asking if I am okay. I am not but there is nothing to be done about it#the pain docs dgaf the bone docs dgaf the specialists dgaf#I can't even take mj to feel better because I am so allergic#and speaking of allergies I have been having what look like HIVES starting to appear randomly over my face and chest for these 2 weeks#istg if this is another fucking reaction to allergens I am just going to go meet the hatman and claim squatter's rights in his house#woke up from another passing out episode to be ravenous and had to make myself some eggs and rice#I added kimchi because there needs to be more daily veggies in this diet#Most days the meals have been a tsp of peanut butter; an applesauce or string cheese; whatever noodle; and eggs or tuna...sometimes chicken#But still they want to tell me I am eating too much daily somehow#I do also drink a fuckton of water daily#I am just so tired of these 8year experts seeing a short fat thing and immediately equating all my problems to fucking weight#something is wrong and nobody wants to look further into it#In the meantime I am going to be mentally unwell because my body feels like shattering glass under electrified water every waking moment#But sure! let me take on the responsibility of teaching 44 other households how to open an rtf file in a damn word processor#HOW TF do you get over 50 and have all problem solving skills drop out of your ass. God forbid I write simple instructions#and some asshole put out fliers on ageism near my apartment#Telling someone that they need to actually have the correct information before moving forward to do something is apparently disrespectful#I literally don't have to do anything for any of these people but they feel entitled to my time and energy because I am 30+ years younger#And they've been having kvetch sessions about who knows what in a room literally on the other side of my bedroom wall#I got shit to do in the morning so I hope to wake up somebody else tomorrow#wish me luck
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blazeturbo102 · 2 months
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vvelegrin · 3 months
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man it just feels kind of... i don't know. mean that with everything lately we're adding mystery joint pain, most persistently in my hands, to the pile.
like come on. come on. i can't even have this?!
#this seems somehow metaphysically spiteful#i know it's the luck of the fucking draw but god#i'm just trying to carve a little horse from wood#you don't even let me carve a little horse without my hands hurting (god i haven't even tried archery since i started hurting...)#meanwhile i'm fighting for my fucking life trying to get in with physical therapy for something that is NOT pain related#and they don't know what the fuck i'm talking about#was about to [REDACTED] on the phone with this girl who kept being like. okay but what PART of your body. like what HURTS.#i'm like there is no combination of words that is going to impart to you 'i have dysautonomia and people go to physical therapy for that'#you say on your WEBSITE that you have options for cardiac rehabilitation. i literally don't know what you need me to say.#(they didn't take my insurance anyway. lmao.)#sorry i'm feeling a little whiney this evening#i am so fucking sick of my doctors giving me a referral for something and then not giving me a location#'idk just find somewhere'#man i don't know what i'm doing wrong#it's all grinding me to dust and i can't even say this to people#at least tumblr i can just shout to the ether and be safely ignored (i mean this genuinely)#people don't feel compelled to give me shitty obvious advice the moment i think about expressing literally any discomfort#or give me the Weird Pity#literally had my dad once tell me 'you should try seeing a doctor'#like truly i live in a fucking sitcom#prattling about the self
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Was left with my thoughts for too long and reopened an old wound (of the brain variety) and I'm now so furious about the way I've been treated by others in my life that I can't sleep out of pure benign rage.
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clonewarsahsoka · 8 months
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It is SO HARD to keep trying your best when your best is objectively dogshit
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giantkillerjack · 9 months
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Me seeing art for a show I both hate and thoroughly love to roast: Someone worked really hard on this as an act of love, and I will not reblog their work just to trash the show in their tags. The artist can see the tags. I will not do it. I won't. They're not hurting anyone. I am not going to-- I'm not. I'm not, I'm not going to do it, I am genuinely not going to I'm not--not even if I want to because GODS I want to but I won't I'll just make a separate post about it or something, it's not like everything I love is so perfect anyway, and I sure wouldn't appreciate it, goodness knows so I'm not going to do it EVEN THOUGH MERLIN IS
A STUPID SHOW AND THE PEOPLE WHO MADE IT
SHOULD FEEL BAD!!!!
(The people who like it don't have to feel bad. Both because it is genuinely a moral neutral, and also, well, they've already sat through all of BBC Merlin - they've suffered enough!)
#original#merlin#bbc merlin#listen listen listen i have a destiel sideblog i get it#being in the fandom doesn't mean you think the canon is well written! and if you DO think Merlin or Supernatural are well-written...#you are entitled to that opinion and there's nothing morally wrong with having an incorrect opinion!#XD i am hilarious#merlin as a show just makes me really mad as a person who desperately wanted so much from it when i watched it and instead it was....#well to be frank it is a wildly homophobic show but also it is 6 seasons of blue balls just in terms of satisfying writing#it has so much of what i love in a show and yet it always felt so... flat. and the fact that merlin keeps his magic secret past season 1#was fucking WILD#it's not like Lucifer where they are locked into the very limiting formula of a cop show#it was A BIG FUCK-OFF FANTASY WORLD WITH A SHITLOAD OF EXISTING MYTHOLOGY#it is Unthinkable to me that they ran out of ideas that quickly!!!#the show centers around two main characters who literally never connect with each other as a result!!!! for six seasons!!!#I mean to be fair Lucifer absolutely only had one idea also and as soon as Chloe finds out he's the devil in like season 4 or whatever#the show immediately reveals that it had ABSOLUTELY no pay-off to that slowburn WHATSOEVER#oh do we get to see the scene where she finds out? just the first five seconds of it before the show introduces a random third character#who is somehow convincing Chloe to lie to Luci so that we can pad the runtime instead of writing an evolution of their relationship#because that would be HARD and what is EASY is IGNORING the only interesting path forward#like YES Merlin did say 'gay people should have defended hitler with their lives' bc again. WILDLY homophobic show#but character-wise it is also like if Aang stayed in the South Pole airbending and being chased by Zuko for 6 seasons#and then he fucking died at the end for no reason.#does he ever learn the other elements? well it's talked about a lot. every episode in fact. but no not until the end of the last episode#right before he dies and then it shows that katara has grown old alone.#anyway i get mad when i see merlin fan art and it isn't fair to the queer artists or fans who make it so i do just make a separate post#and also the Merlin episode of the podcast 'Bait' is SO funny. it is a podcast about queerbaiting.#i hate queerbaiting at this point but it is a good podcast and so funny!!
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