#like boss 1 said something as a gotcha that was really about like

[lizbethborden]

My bosses are pod people who don't have an ounce of emotional intelligence and I know the feedback i received from them this week was no different than any superior would give me, but it's extremely challenging because it was given with 0 padding and 0 positive things said. This isn't to say I'm a precious baby who can't take critique but to say that they really made it seem like the past month of 50+ hours a week, sometimes 6-7 days a week was fuck all and invisible to them, and that it accomplished nothing. And I know and have evidence in front of my eyes that it DID accomplish something but the fact that they can't or won't acknowledge that, and on top of that seem to be acting in passive-aggressive ways to like... teach me a lesson?? makes me feel a bit um. Hmm.

[ilovetulips]

fem!reader x older!tattooartist!eddiemunson

part 1 here !

WARNINGS : smut mdni. phone sex :)). age gap mentioned !! if u dont like dont read. basically the same as pt. 1 but shorter.

hope u all enjoy !! ♡ ♡ ♡ (p.s my reqs are open)

———

eddie hasn’t been able to get you off his mind. ever since you walked in and seduced him like a little minx. he knew it was ‘unprofessional’, yet if anyone else were out into that position, he’s certain they would’ve done the same.

such a sweet thing like you, and such an opposite man like him. you were younger, sure, but you were oh so sweet and fully aware of what you were doing when you first met.

you, similarly, can’t get the picture of that mess of curls out of your head. his lips, his hands trailing up your skirt, the small crows feet either side of his eyes. even his dick for gods sake. something about him was so enduring… so enchanting. you couldn’t help yourself.

it had been 5 days since your last and first interaction with eddie munson, and it has been replaying in your head nonstop. but there hasn’t been a call yet, and now you’re starting to regret your sudden outburst of confidence.

i mean, you had ended on a really good note - he finished your tattoo, you payed at a discounted price because he said you’d already gave him enough ‘payment’. but why hadn’t he called you back…?

had you come off too strong? maybe he did that with all of his clients… could you just be another one of them? what if he just didn’t care about you? you were obsessed with him but did he even think about you and—

ring ring.

no, it can’t be him. that’ll be too convenient of a time right? it’s probably work.

you trail over to the phone on the wall, lazily dragging your legs after laying in bed all day. it was about 10pm, your day being well spent in the comfort of your room. you were expecting a call from work too, so you had already lost hope for eddie and assumed it was your boss calling you.

“hello?” you say sweetly down the phone, spinning the lean your back against the wall.

“missed that voice, hi sweetheart.” your heart stopped. the world stopped. it was actually him - you’d been dreaming about hearing that voice again and it was finally happening right now.

“y’there y/n?” you twirl the cord around your finger.

“hi, eddie.” a high pitched voice sounds down the microphone, not registering in your mind that it’s yours. your heart is quite literally pounding in your chest now.

“sorry about not calling you sooner sweetness, been busy. i’ve missed you.” the heat rises to your cheeks faster than it ever has. you feel like a girl in high-school with a stupid crush.

“s’okay, i’ve been busy too. m’glad you finally called me though.”

“oh yeah? you missed me sweet thing?” now he just sounds cocky.

“mmm, i wouldn’t go that far.” you smirk.

“i see how it is…”

silence. it consumes the both of you. it’s not the awkward type, you feel as if you are just flourishing in his company through the phone.

“m’being serious when i say i missed you. couldn’t stop thinking about you, y’little minx.” he lets out a breathy laugh at the nickname, and it could quite possibly be the sexiest thing you’ve ever heard. you become aware of your clothes feeling too hot, and your thighs clenching tightly.

“i missed you too. nearly came to your work to book another tattoo just to see you.” you giggle slightly and bite your lip, sounding ridiculous and wanting to stop yourself.

“that obsessed already baby? gotcha hooked. should’ve came down, last time was definitely something.” as if your face couldn’t get anymore red.

you laugh down the phone, not knowing how to respond to that unforgettable day. heat pools underneath your small bedtime shorts.

“maybe you should’ve called me earlier, we could’ve done something… i’ve missed you.” your eyelids clamp shut, afraid you’re starting something you won’t be able to finish.

eddie was sat there, stunned and shirtless in his bedroom of his apartment. and let’s be honest, the plaid pants he was wearing as pyjamas weren’t leaving much to the imagination as his boner presses against the stitching. as soon as he heard your voice, he couldn’t help himself.

“fuck- you can’t say stuff like that t’me sweetheart. m’going crazy over here.” your statement didn’t leave much to the imagination, and ended with him rutting his hips into the air to get some sort of release. he lets out a small moan at the feel of his leaky tip touching the thin material of his pants.

the growing tension was absolutely suffocating, yet neither of you wanted to make the first move and wanted to relish in it until it snapped.

now you aren’t going to pretend like you didn’t hear him moan, because you most definitely did. before you even knew it, your nipples had pebbled against your small shirt, and slick was coating your thighs.

“watcha doin’ right now, eds?” the innocent act only made him worse.

he was still circling his hips, the waistband of his pants falling lower and leaving his happy trail becoming more and more exposed. you were circling your finger around the harsh indent of your nipple over your shirt, biting back a moan - both pleasuring yourself slightly but not fully committing yet.

“d’ya really want me to answer that, angel? cause i think you can hear what m’ doing.” he finally caves and pulls his hardened length of out his pants, precum dribbling down the tip in beads. just like the sick fuck he is, he moves the phone down to his hip level and starts rubbing his cock. “f-fuck, wish you were here touchin’ me right now.”

your receiver fills with sounds of eddie’s slick cock being rubbed, the sound of his spit and precum mixing to soak his dick perfectly. the sounds leave little to the imagination, as you trail your fingers down to your waistband to your dripping cunt. the jolt of pain that rushes through you when you brush over your throbbing cunt forces a moan to escape your lips.

“not so much of an angel are ya sweetheart- shit.” he bucks his hips into his fist, fucking his hand to the sound of your little pants. “touchin’ yourself to the sound of me. dirty girl.” the smirk in his voice evident.

“n-never said i was an angel—“ you slip your finger into your tight hole, plunging it all the way until you feel that spongey spot on your walls. it elicits such a sweet moan that eddie thinks he’s gonna cream himself right then and there. “n’ you started touchin’ yourself to the sound of my voice you perv.”

his hand speeds up, the moans spurring him on even further as he whines into the microphone of the phone. “fuck- missed your pretty noises so much. so so so much.” he hisses. “you gonna slip another finger in, baby? fill yourself up so it feels like me.” he wouldn’t admit that the nickname ‘perv’ was really making it difficult for him right now.

you nod despite him not being able to see you, and do what he says. “miss you touchin’ me. haven’t stopped thinking about you eddie.” your brain was starting to fuzz over, any words that could leave your mouth doing so.

he bites down on his lip, hard enough to draw blood as he holds back from blowing his load. edging himself so you could finish at the same time. judging my your moans and your fucked out voice, you weren’t far off.

you pump 3 fingers in and out of you, massaging that spot inside of you while your thumb works on your clit occasionally. the pressure was building in your tummy to quick you didn’t even have the chance to tell the boy.

“shh shh sweets, don’t worry. m’ gonna see you this week n’ make you feel so- fuck- so fuckin’ good. you want that?” at this point, you could only reply with chants of ‘yesyesyespleasefuck’ and high pitched moans that made eddie’s hand flood with the familiar hot liquid while yours drips out of you.

your back arches off the bed as you drop the phone onto the bed next to you, your pants and moans filling your room as you come down from your high. listening to it almost made the curly haired boy hard again as he imagined how you looked right now - fucked out eyes falling asleep and glossy red lips from biting down on them.

“lick ‘em clean, princes. wanna hear you suckin’ on them fingers nice n’ good.” so you did, making it a point to pop off your fingers obnoxiously loud with a ‘mmmm’.

“you promise to see me this week?” you practically whisper down the phone, not wanted to sound pathetic despite the fact you literally finger fucked yourself to the sound of him.

“i promise, my sweet sweet girl. i’ll take you out somewhere real fancy and—“ you cut him off.

“no. i don’t want fancy… i just wanna do something with just us two. maybe watch a movie or somethin’.”

it sounded like absolute heaven to him. “of course, baby. i’ll call you tomorrow. thanks for helpin’ me get off.”

and with that he hangs up, leaving you red faced and slightly horny again at the thought of what you just did.

[carolmunson]

Hypothetically speaking, what would Eddie do if something happen to reader? Like someone seriously hurts her to get to him? He gives me burn down the world vibes #babyasif

Unfortunately, not at all.

Using this ask as a placeholder for some more BAI explanations:

It's important that I let people know like, Eddie's not a mob boss or anything in this AU. He's a supplier/dealer in a drug ring. He's not even the leader, he's a step below Rick but higher up than the randos who deal for them. So people aren't like, 'trying to get to him' and even if they were, they wouldn't use reader since she wasn't his girlfriend when he started getting more resposibility/known for what he does.

Like she says in Part 1, “Trying to find you? Who are you? You swear you're special.” 

And as we already saw, her getting beat up by a boyfriend and him coming to get her after months of already knowing has deeper sticky undertones than 'Eddie to the rescue'. He cares of course, but he cares mostly about being right. About I told you so-ing, the situation. About making her feel like he really is so much better, and why would you ever give me up? And whose gonna love you like me? But not in like -- a nice way, not in a passionate 'You're the only one for me' type of way. It's not a 'mean to everyone else except you' trope, it's almost like, the opposite. He still feels slighted by her 'cheating' on him. He has a lot more power than he did when they first got together.

I've said it before and I'll say it again as a reminder -- he's not a good guy and he doesn't get better. There's not secret gotcha twist where he magically becomes the sweet boy he was before. The story is bleak and sad, the ending is dread enducing. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.

[wiseoldowl72]

Fate Strikes Twice? The Pizza Shop

I turned the multi-chapter fic into a series. I repost former Chp 1 and 2. This would have been three. I really think I'll like this format better. I have a couple of ideas for their next adventures in their path to getting to know each other.

The Pizza Shop

Saturday morning dawned much earlier than Dean would have liked. It took strong, black coffee and a shower to make Dean even begin to feel like a real human. It was paperwork day. He hated paperwork, but as he was a business owner, it was necessary. Numbers weren’t really his thing. Nevermind he had an MBA. He could run a business, but taxes? No way. That’s what an accountant was for. 

“Boss, how long are you in for today?” Charlie, his tech guru, best friend, and found little sister asked. "I wanted to know because I have some new social media ideas and website designs for you to look over."

Dean strolled toward his office and shook his head, “Not that long Charlie. Probably only five hours or so. Time to get inventory done, make sure all the appropriate orders, and payroll are taken care of. That’s it. I have to be out of here by 3:15.”.

While numbers were out of his sphere, he craved having control over inventory and making sure all the restoration cars were getting the best he could afford. Client cars were easy. He was a simple man; he ordered what was needed and then applied the mark-up to make payroll, etc. The best days were when he wasn’t in the office at all but waist deep in a junked car working to bring out its beauty.

“Handmaiden, you rarely leave early, plus you’re in nicer clothes than your usual old shirt and jeans. Do you have plans you aren’t telling me about?” Charlie practically shrieked as she slid across the floor to gaze right up into his eyes. 

“What did I tell you about calling me that here at work?” Dean admonished her, blatantly ignoring her reference to the date part of the exclamation.

“That doesn’t answer my question. And fine, whatever,” she said, tapping her toes while looking expectantly.

“Ok, but just the basics, because I don’t know much at this point myself,” Dean acquiesced. “Remember the pie I took to family dinner last night? I’m meeting the owner of the shop this afternoon. He wrote his number on my coffee cup when I was in the bakery earlier this week.”

“Oh a date!” Charlie squeed as she jumped up and hugged Dean’s neck. “I’m so happy for you. It’s been too long since you did something for yourself.”

He wasn’t going to get his hands dirty working with that beautiful ‘67 Mustang as early as he wished, but given his meeting with Cas this afternoon at the pizza shop, he was glad he wasn’t getting dirty today. It wasn’t the easiest thing to get the grease and old stains and smell off. 

“I’ll give you a pass," Charlie agreed, "because I know you haven’t met anybody in ages. You’ve made every game night, so I know something’s off, but I want deets tomorrow while we play”

“Gotcha, now I have work to do and so do you.” Dean left her in the foyer of the shop and headed for his office.

~~~~~~

On the other side of town, Cas always rose with the birdsong instead of waiting for the alarm to go off and had a cup of tea before heading to Pies by five. He liked opening in the morning. It allowed him all the smells of fixing the sweet fillings, then smelling the product baking.

“Good morning, Gabe. Here's my plan for the morning.” Castiel brought out his list. He already had his chef’s whites on and was ready to get started. “Apple, cherry, blueberry, mixed berry, for mini and large pies to get started. As usual, I thought I’d leave the accompanying treats and quick breads for you. Alfie and Kevin the cookies and other sweets that don’t take that long to make.” 

Gabe took a minute to think about it. “Hmm, banana and strawberry-almond for quick breads, our usual assortment of muffins, a variety of scones based on the berries you are planning to use, plus chocolate because I can’t resist. And then the other two can choose what they want to make when they get here.” 

“That sounds fine. I’ll have some of the more popular pies ready by late morning – probably pecan, pumpkin, and a quiche of some flavor. Remember, I have to leave at three o’clock today,” Castiel reminded him, while fidgeting with the note paper in his hands.

“Why’s that Cassie? You are never one to leave the bakery early, especially on a Saturday,” Gabe prodded. “Finally going to loosen up a bit?” He ribbed as he grabbed his chef whites.

“Because I have something I want to do this afternoon, I do ask that we all keep each other informed when we want or need to leave, but I’m not your ten year old brother anymore,” Castiel countered and grabbed the flour. “I believe when I asked you to open Pies with me, it was because we were discussing the opportunities of it being a family business, not so you could lord over me our age difference any more.” Castiel was still irritated.

“Ok, ok, it’s too early to be all uppity. You just don’t ever lead off the morning discussion of goodies with, ‘by the way, I’m leaving early’,’” Gabe tossed out as he turned away to change.

“This is true.” Castiel softened his voice. “I will admit, Gabriel, I am meeting someone at the pizza restaurant at the end of the block later today.”

“You mean I was right!” Gabe slapped his thigh and spun around to face his little brother. “What brought this on?” he asked.

“Earlier in the week when I was working the front counter, a handsome gentleman came in during that torrential rainstorm we were having. He was pleasant, both in voice and appearance, and I wrote my number on his coffee cup.” Castiel waited, not knowing what his brother’s  reaction would be.

For once, Gabe didn’t make a joke or try to needle his brother about asking someone out. “I’m happy for you, Bro. Opening this bakery has been your dream and your goal for years. I think it’s great you saw someone and acted on it.” After a pause, he added, “You deserve it.”

This time when Gabe turned around it was for good, and the morning baking began.

Castiel began on his pies. The act of getting his hands into the dough always brought him comfort. As he mixed, chilled, and rolled out the dough, he reminisced about growing up baking beside his mother. 

“Remember son, the secret to a good pie crust is cold butter and ice-cold water,” Cas heard his mother’s voice in his head. He remembered her teaching him to make the dough, fillings, and even the decorations that would go on top. He thought about how far he’d come. He had made his first dessert at five years old, proudly presenting the apple pie after supper that evening. Nobody said anything when the crust wasn’t flakey or had too much salt. The filling wasn’t even set. When he mastered making a perfect lattice his mom smiled down on him with such joy in her face. Those days were the best days.

Castiel finished his baking for the day, plus his front counter duties, and retired to the office to change for his date with Dean. He was very thankful he had several sets of extra clothing at the bakery because his chef’s whites were filthy. He set off at 3:20 for the short walk down the block to the pizza place. Uncharacteristically, Gabe never said a word, just wished him well and expected a full report later.

~~~~~

Dean finished up with the inventory and reports about 2:30. Confident that every car in his care would have every part it needed this next week, he closed his computer. Checking his appearance in the full length mirror, Dean thought to himself that this wasn’t a meeting, it was a date. A date. He hadn’t had one of those for long enough that he was nervous. Sure, Cas made the first move by leaving his number on the cup, but it was Dean who followed though.

“Charlie, I’m outta here. Hold down the fort until closing time?” Dean called as he closed his office door.

“Cool beans. Nothing to worry about here,” she replied, giving him the peace sign as he walked by. There were only a few more hours of their normal work day. Most of the mechanics had gone home and if anything, there would be walk-ins or calls for a tow. Charlie had been with Dean since they met in college. He had total trust that his business would be in good hands with her.

Zeppelin blared from the speakers as the Impala pulled out of the parking lot. The lyrics reminded Dean that he hadn’t met anyone new in a very long time. “You can do this… You can do this,” he told himself. 

He arrived at the restaurant right at 3:30. He was raised not to be too early, and not to be late. Today he wanted to be there right on time. 

~~~~~~

Castiel was already seated in a booth when Dean walked in. There was no mistaking Dean’s tall, bow-legged walk. Nor was Cas likely to forget the green eyes that made such an impression the first time he saw them. 

Cas watched as Dean searched the restaurant when he walked in. He could see when Dean saw him. He waved Dean over as discreetly as he could.

“Hello, Dean, I was almost afraid you would cancel meeting me here today.” Cas rose as he shook his hand. “I’ve already ordered drinks for us, I hope you don’t mind.”

Dean returned the hand shake and slid into the booth facing Cas. “No, I don’t mind at all. Thank you,” he said. Dean took a minute to observe that Cas’ hands were large, but soft. It surprised him because he knew how rough being in a kitchen could be on skin. He noticed while his own hands were more slender, they were rough and calloused all over, from knuckles to palm.

‘I was afraid you’d cancel.’ Cas said.

“I almost did,” Dean chuckled, but he made sure there was a hint of mirth in his voice. “I wasn’t sure I could meet someone unless I was satisfied they were a competent baker.” 

Rendered speechless, Cas wavered between being angry and dumbfounded. “What do my baking skills have to do with this?” He was finally able to vocalize. “The fact I *own* a bakery should show you that I am capable of producing a highly delectable product. I’ll have you know I worked for years to perfect my pies.”

“Just because you own a bakery doesn’t mean that you can make a mean pie,” Dean responded. He then realized that Cas didn’t hear the lightness in his voice. “I’ve been in plenty of restaurants and bakeries that say they have the best of whatever, but it’s not. And as you can see, you make a mean pie or I wouldn’t be here.” Dean followed up with, hoping to soothe the ruffled feathers he’d made. He hadn’t meant to upset Cas, he was trying to banter, but obviously Cas didn’t get his humor.

“I’ll have you know I went to culinary school for baking and pastry, as did my co-owner and head pastry chef brother,” Cas said, his voice sounding pained.

“Cas, calm down. I meant that as more of a joke,” Dean spoke as he played the silverware in front of him. “I ate the entire blueberry pie when I got home. It was awesome. And the cherry pie was a hit at family dinner last night. I didn’t even get to bring any home.” He made sure he whined a little at the last part. “I really do love pie, Cas.”

“But why does my baking skill have anything to do with you choosing to go out with me?” Cas still didn’t understand Dean’s point in bringing it up. He still wasn’t confident he shouldn’t get up and walk out. He knew he wasn’t “up” on all the modern slang and didn’t “get” jokes like other people did. He was concerned he had made a wrong choice to put his name on that coffee cup.

“Slow your roll there. I bake too. I have since I could stand on a stool next to my mom in the kitchen. Pies are the best thing ever invented. But I love to do breads, international recipes like pasties, and well, basically anything with a crust,” Dean replied. “I also like to cook, use spices, and experiment with different cuisines and recipes. But I’m not a chef.”

Cas had ordered Cokes for both of them. Their drinks were delivered and in that small bit of silence, Cas realized Dean was just trying to start the conversation, not make him upset.

Cas was relieved and pleased that his baked goods were received so well. “Since it appears you are not a professional chef, what do you do?” Cas asked inquisitively as he took a drink.

“I am a mechanic and specialize in car restoration. I have a shop that has both a regular repair side and a total restoration side,” Dean proudly responded as he put a straw in his own Coke. “I've worked there since I was in high school and took over after the owner retired.

“That must be very time-intensive, having a total car care business,” Cas came back, surprised. 

“It was much worse balancing the two when I was in college. I started as a mechanic in high school, but I really loved restoring cars,” Dean explained. “I wanted to find a way to do both. You see the shiny, black muscle car right in front of the restaurant? That’s mine.” He preened as he pointed out Baby through the window.

“That’s your car?" asked Cas, awed, rising up a bit out from the bench seat to take a better look.”

“Restored her myself. She’s a ‘67 Chevy Impala I named Baby. I got her in a salvage yard after she’d been in a head-on collision with a semi. She was my first total reconstruction and I’ll never let her go,” Dean excitedly rambled on.

“I also learned baking standing with my mom at our kitchen counter,” Cas happily told Dean about his childhood baking experiences. “Anytime she wanted to make anything, I was right there next to her. I couldn’t learn fast enough.”

Dean half-smiled as he saw Cas’ hands mimic working with dough as he talked. 

“Mom taught me to bake and before I went to college I had most pies and sweets down.” Dean nodded to Cas. “Breads, not so much. I still had a lot to learn.” He laughed. “I did learn a few more recipes from her, but most everything after that I had to figure out on my own.”

Cas understood the struggle to master baking breads. “We learned about every kind of pastry and baking technique in my culinary classes. I learned there was so much more to bread to make it come out with the right texture and crust,” 

Dean laughed, “When I was away for my undergrad I finally mastered breads, but only after so many batches of killed yeast, bad experiences with rising times, and let’s not even talk about the resulting batches of cooked bread I had to throw out!” 

Dean caught one of the wait staff’s eye and had a second round of drinks brought. 

“I think the most treasured memory I have is the day of graduation from the Pastry/Baking Certificate program. My mom passed down the family recipe box to me,” Cas said, remembering the feel of the antique box, the faint smells that had soaked into the wood, and running his fingers over the old cards. “It contained recipes that went back at least three generations. I can’t tell you how honored I was to receive a gift that had my great-grandmother’s recipes in it. I use those same recipes today.”

“I hear that. I was so proud to be able to bring Baby home to Uncle Bobby and say ‘I did this’ and he slapped me on the back and told me I did a good job,” Dean said proudly. “My dad’s a cop and my mom stayed home. With a baby brother going to school to be a lawyer, they were happy for me, but it didn’t mean as much because they weren’t as into cars as I was.”

Cas nodded, turning his drink glass in his hands. “After graduation, we took on jobs as line-cook, sous, and assistants to earn enough experience to one day open my own shop. Gabriel, my brother, had been to culinary school too. He had more experience since he has a full degree in culinary arts, but found his love in sweets.”

“So he’s the one who makes everything else in your shop?” Dean asked.

“Yes, he’s better with hand-held pastries than I am. He likes to experiment with flavors,” Cas agreed. “I make all the pies, he makes the sweets, including the cupcakes and quick breads. He made up all the cookie recipes too… Well, those that weren’t already in our family box. We let our other employees make the cookies since they take less time.“

Cas smiled proudly. “The division of labor seems to be working well. Gabe and I work the longest hours in the kitchen, but we take a turn at the counter too.”

“It’s hard to turn over important things. I worked my way up the chain at my uncle’s shop, so I guess I had more time to get used to it. ” Dean said. “I was a plain ol’ mechanic all through high school. Bobby taught me all the basics, and we planned that I would go to school for a four year degree in Automotive Technology.”

“I didn’t know they had that degree.” Cas sounded surprised. “By the way, you refer to your uncle by his first name, that’s not usually accepted. Why do you do it?”

Dean shrugged. “Bobby is really laid back. He doesn’t like titles. He’s just Bobby, he just happens to be my uncle as well. As for the degree, yeah, it’s not all that common, but I was able to find a good program only a few hours from here. It had a focus on restoration too. I jumped at it.” 

“Looking at your car I can see why,” Cas nodded toward Baby on the other side of the window.

“The whole plan was that I would eventually take over the shop. Bobby didn’t have any children and my brother and I were close to him. His wife died of cancer early on and he didn’t remarry. He said he enjoyed being an uncle to us,” Dean explained.

“Gabriel and I had a plan too. We used the years working in other restaurants and pastry shops to teach us how to run a business, and save money to open Pies together,” Cas said. “It’s now been open for three years.”

“My Capstone project for my degree was to do a complete restoration from the ground up. Baby was sitting in a graveyard of cars in a salvage yard because she was mangled from the wreck. The school bought her dirt cheap on the condition that if I passed, I could buy her for the salvage yard price and she’d be mine.” Dean took a long sip of his drink. 

“That’s really amazing Dean,” Cas said, and meant it. 

“The work really began once I got home,” Dean remembered the long hours, greasy shirts and torn jeans. “I worked full time as manager of the repair shop and started the restoration side. We had about 5 other employees at the time. The big thing was Uncle Bobby had a condition for me inheriting the shop. I had to have an MBA.” Dean said. “He didn’t believe I could successfully run it in today’s world without one. While I was doing all my other duties at the shop, I went to school full-time. I can already see the advantage it’s given me in the daily running of the business.”

“Yes, I can see how it would,” Cas nodded. “All the years working in the business watching shops and employees get run into the ground because of bad management made a huge impact on my brother and me. We didn’t want our business to close because we made too many mistakes. We took everything we learned, including getting a professional to help us with the accounting side, to try to start Pies off right.”

“About 5 years ago Bobby finally turned the whole business over to me. I turned a profit on the restoration business in two years. I was always able to convince people to trust me with their prize cars when I showed them Baby.” Dean gestured toward the Impala. “We gained a following by word of mouth, mostly. My best friend Charlie made a bunch of stuff to show off our work.” He pulled up their website on his phone and turned it to show Cas. “That’s all our show pieces so far.”

Cas nodded appreciatively. “That’s wonderful Dean! We are just now showing a profit at Pies. I know it had a lot to do with the business acumen Gabe and I learned while working other jobs. I still share an apartment with him to save money.”

“I was able to buy the business right out from my uncle thanks to the whole operation running smoothly. I live in a bungalow in one of the older areas of town and it’s not far from the shop, which is nice because I spend much of my time there. And that’s the story,” Dean finished, raising his hands, palms out.

~~~~~

“Dean, do you realize it’s been over two hours and we haven’t eaten yet?” Cas said. He hadn’t eaten lunch and his stomach was letting him know.

“Seriously, Dude?” Dean’s eyebrows rose. He too hadn’t eaten more than a sandwich, knowing he was going to a pizza restaurant. His drinks were gone as well.

“We’ve been at a restaurant without eating for longer than I ever have been. Now that’s wrong.” Dean spoke as he rose. “Come on, let’s get something. My stomach is growling.”

Cas rose, and couldn’t quite meet Dean’s eyes. “I knew I was meeting you and, to be honest, was too nervous to eat,” he softly confessed. 

Dean heard that revelation and his heart stopped for a moment. Surely Cas wasn’t as tied up in knots as he was?. Thankfully they hadn’t ordered yet. He was sure the wait staff was pretty miffed at that, but it wasn’t crowded, so he didn’t care. Dean had an idea and went with his gut.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean suggested, “Why not just get out of here and I’ll make you dinner?”

 Cas looked at him and replied, “No, Dean, you don’t have to do that. We can just order pizza and keep talking.”

“Do you really want pizza for dinner?” Dean asked, playing a hunch

“Not really. If it wouldn’t be a bother, I’d love to have dinner with you,” Cas replied sincerely. “I’ve had a fascinating time with you so far today. I don’t want it to end yet.” 

“Then let’s hop in Baby, hit the store, and we’ll go back to my place. You’ve been baking all day, and all I did was business paperwork, so you can put your feet up and we can talk while I cook,” Dean said, seizing the moment. “I’m not ready to say goodbye either, and I want something more substantial than a couple of pieces of pizza.”

“That’s good. Let’s swing by the bakery and see what’s left over. Get a sweet or two for dessert,” Cas supplied helpfully, happy they were extending their date into the evening hours. This was beyond what he was expecting when he walked down to the pizza restaurant earlier that afternoon. Cas ran into the bakery and walked out with an apple and cherry pie. “I thought these would go well with whatever cuisine we have,” Cas held up the boxes. 

Dean laughed. “Alright then, let’s see what kind of trouble we can get into.” 

What was supposed to be an afternoon “meeting” at a pizza restaurant, had now turned into a full-blown date. Neither of the men knew what to think of that. They rode in silence, Each was lost in their own thoughts about how the rest of the night would go.

[minshookie]

All Play, No Work. Pt two

Pairing | CEO!Yoongi x reader

Genre |angst, dark themed, yandere, gore.

Summary | “ Eunji just couldn’t play nice, firing her just wouldn’t be enough.”

!Warnings! 18+, yandere Yoongi, character death, descriptive scenes, murder scene, infidelity.

| this is not in anyway shape or form a true depiction or representation of BTS, this is a work of fiction and is not to be taken seriously. For entertainment purposes only.|

(this is my work, please don’t repost or steal)

Requested [request closed] words 3k

A/N : link to part 1 I hope this is enjoyable!! Unedited but I will edit soon.

“Yoongi, don’t talk so drastically...it was just a joke.” He heaved deeply, gripping the door handle severely. “It can’t be a joke every time y/n she’s done worse before, her and her husband.” Sighing, unsure if it was safe to touch him you put your hand on the handle next to his. “Min, they hate me because you love me, if you want it resolved maybe we should lay low...take something like a break?” Of course you didn’t mean it, but the complications at work were becoming a bit detrimental.

His head turned at lighting speed, with a look of disgust almost. “Break? You can’t be serious don’t ever say something like that again, and I’ll do what I please, we should we hide ourselves she’ll start waking around with her head high like she won.” He let go of the handle leaning against the door looking deeply into you. “I’ll fire her.” You rolled your eyes “Yoongi please she needs to work.” “Stop being so damn sweet, this is the same person that soiled your clothes, cracks jokes about you...she bullies you she should’ve been out of here.” He put his hand in his pocket, checking his watch on his other wrist. “We’re almost done for the day anyway... you go to my place without me I’ll meet you there.” Taking his watch clad hand in yours, you could tell he was still furious.

“Alright if you insist, but what’ll you be doing yoongs?” You attempted to turn the atmosphere playful. “Baby, you insist on disobeying my requests.” Chuckles dryly. “I’ll be talking to Kim, and Lucy.” “Lucy, why?” “I’m giving her Kim’s position, a promotion.” He leans swiftly pecking your cheek before opening the door for you both to exit, not giving you a chance at questioning him further. He follows closely behind all eyes on you, a grimace on Eunji’s features. It’s like you had a fat red target right in the middle of your face. “Actually, why don’t you just head out now.” Yoongi mumbled before leaving your side, quickly heading to his office his fist curled in a rough grip.

You hung your head low like a shy school girl, going to collect your bag and belongings from your cubicle. Only to find Jimin completing the papers you’d left. “Heading home miss Raman booty?” He mumbled without turning, a pen between his teeth, his fingers typing with stealth. “I hate you Jimin.” Laughing he let the pen fall, leaning in the chair finally facing you. “You ok?” You nodded giving a warm smile. “Good, here’s your thousand dollar sack.” He handed you your purse, he’s full of jokes today, you responded with a low chuckle. “Wait before you go, whats the 411 on the bosses mood?” “Mm angry, go in quickly and quietly and leave the same way.” He nodded going back to the computer, “Ah, so not the day for pay increase forms? Gotcha.” You laughed before walking away, ready to be rid of the grimy feeling you were getting from work today.

Avoiding eye contact, you focus on the rythmatic clicking of your pumps until you entered the silver elevator. Leaning against the glass window you watched as you descended through the building. Finally meeting the last floor quickly freeing yourself sighing one more trek to take, that being into the parking garage. Silent and eerie, it oddly relaxed you you found your car quickly. It’s always there right next to Yoongi’s ever since the first day you started.

The thought warmed you, feelings of your boyfriends love floating around you. Hopping in your car you threw the gifted purse in the back seat, just before you could start up your phone rang, Yoongi of course. “Hey Yoongi” ”Ah, you sound happier already.” Reclining your seat you sighed. “I was thinking of you.” He hummed in approval. “Cute, hm I do the same to calm myself...thinking of you of course.” Giggling you responded “reason for calling?” “I wanted to say I love you, and I want you to go straight home.” He orders blandly. “Tsk I wanted to shop a bit.” You joke putting your seat back into position. “Y/n straight home, no questions.” “Yeah I heard you Daddy.” You joked starting your vehicle. “Good, I’ll see you soon, love you...say it back.” “I love you Yoongi, of course.” He sighed softly, checking your surroundings you pulled back waiting for him to hang up. “Alright bye...Jimin get out.” The phone call ended.

Relaxed you drove through your city, it’s a bit later in the day the faces of people passing linger in your mind. A soft tune plays from the radio, resting at a light your eyes wandered to the beagle place Yoongi always insists on getting breakfast from. His friends little hole in the wall. Letting your mind wander, he really is a romantic. Finishing the length of the trip you finally reach your destination, a discreet apartment on the edge of town with a not so discreet price. Reaching for your purse you got out of the car, frankly mentally and physically exhausted. “Mrs min! Welcome back!” You’re warmly greeted at the door, “no still y/l/n,good afternoon.” Warmly you smile thanking him for opening the door, yet another elevator to take you where you needed to be.

On the home stretch, trudging towards the door unlocking it you fumbled inside sighing taking in his scent that floated about. With your eyes closed you dropped your bag shuffling to the couch. Kicking off the shoes you let gravity take over thumping onto the firm furniture. The light jingling, made a smile spread on your lips. “Is that my best boy!?” You opened your eyes, greeted with Min Holly his coffee colored paws giving you pets on your head. “My Beautiful little one.” Kissing him on the temple, and gifting him to a few pets and scratches he was satisfied with your greeting he let you be at rest.

Pulling from the couch, you fulfilled the routine of grabbing a snack and skipping upstairs to shower. Stripping you ventured Yoongi’s bedroom in the nude, in search for the clothes you’d left there. Giving up you opted for a pair of briefs and a t-shirt.

Finishing the shower, you cuddled into bed wallowing on the plush mattress in search of a comforting position, engulfing your senses in Yoongi’s scent. Turing on the tv you rolled over, the bed felt cold without your cuddle baby. “Hmm Holly! C’mere little boy!” Joyously he ran in jumping next to you cuddling into your warm side. “We’ll nap and wait for Daddy huh?”

NOW READING FROM: Yoongi’s point of view.

“Are you sure Min, I mean I’m flattered but I just started about a month ago-” I held up my hand to stop her nervous speech. “I’m positive, I’ve observed your work ethic I’m sure you could keep up Lucy, the pay is great the work is easy....more time to speak to Jungkook hm?” Her cheeks blushed light rose at the mention of his name. “But what about uhm..Eunji?” She spoke of her coworker in hushed tones,like she was some sort of demon.

“Kim Eunji has been polluting our work area, making others feel uncomfortable...and uncomfortable means less work getting done, I’ll see about her don’t worry.” Toying with her manicured fingers, such a shy girl, “so what’s your answer?” She sighed brushing a stray hair behind her ear, “Mr Min, when do I start?” She held a coy smile, slowly looking up to make eye contact. “Ah! Smart girl!” I distributed my hand for her to shake in agreement. “You’ll start Monday, we’ll have it all sorted by then.” Nodding she let go of my hand, “thank you Mr Min.” “Of course Lucy I know I won’t regret it, enjoy your night sorry for keeping you late.” Now almost all of her face had a glow of blush, “oh it’s fine Mr Min I don’t mind I didn’t have anything to do tonight anyways, how a-” “ask Eunji to come in for me please, Good night Lucy thank you.”

Shutting up he gave a quick smile and nod before leaving quicker than she came. Eunji pranced in almost eagerly a subtle smirk playing on her cherry lips. “It’s late Yoongi I have to get home.” “Home to what...a cold shower and empty bed? Come sit.” I smirked as she complied, “what do you want Min...if you’re looking for apologies you wont-” “I just wanted to talk to you.” She shut her painted lips, nodding giving me room to speak.

“You’ve been acting out Kim, and I think I know why.” She folded her arms defensively humming a response. “Oh yeah?” Her cocky tone only deepened my concealed rage. “You’re missing someone, your husband maybe?” She rolled her eyes, poking her tongue along her cheek. “What about it?” She began to toy with the small figurines that decorated my desk. “Well, he misses you too...I’ve made the decision to let you go if you’d like.”

“It isn’t time for him to come back, he’s been on the trip for months.” She mumbles smiling down at a framed picture of Holly. Scoffing I took the image back, “Joon, he likes it there he’s been having issues contacting you so he’s said....but he’s made the choice to transfer and stay at the location.” She looked intensely Into my eyes, confused yet gullible.

“He’s gotten a good place, he wants to move you there...he misses you more than you know, and the way you’ve been acting out of line I think you feel the same.” She huffs, nodding slowly. “Alright, you’ll treat my flight the same you did his?” Greedy little bitch...“yes, paid and full, you’ll be able to contact him at the airport hm?” Finally a soft smile spreads her lips, she huffs a low chuckle. “Really?” “Would you like to see the messages and paperwork?”

In hopes she’d say no I still pulled open the side drawer, a single word held her fate as I gripped the heavy weapon. It would be messy and against the plan if she’d decided to take this route. “No..no, why would you lie about sending me on all expenses paid long term vacation.” I smirked nodding while closing the drawer. “So you’ve agreed to joining him?” Sighing she tamed wisps of her dark hair, raking the back into her loose ponytail.

I pushed the legal paper forward a ballpoint rests atop of it. “When do I leave, do I get a chance to say goodbye?” She mumbles leaving her signature along the dotted spaces. Goodbye? Who would want to farewell a she-demon like you. “I’m afraid not, your flight is scheduled for tomorrow 7AM...you should get home actually.” I checked my timepiece briefly.

She stood silently, “ah ah wait, Eunji...it’s late you’re tired allow me to drive you home.” She furrows her brows, giving a suspicious look. “I’ll miss you Kim, you were one of the first people here you and Namjoon.” She lowered herself in the seat her expression now compassionate.

I didn’t lie, Eunji was exhausted...the bags under her eyes almost frightening. She was once the best dressed, best looking, and best worker here. Jealousy had eaten her, and the absence of her Lover only made her worse. “Ah Min, you won’t miss me...you’re sending me away to protect your little hook up, she moan like I used to?” My cheeks began to redden, “no, her’s are better.” Guilt set in sourly. I lied right to y/n’s face to save my ass.

Kim Eunji had made me a liar, a cheater and a bad businessman...all the more reason for her fate. “Hm, if you say so.....how about we go to your place.” Her smirk detailed more than she’d let on. “One last time.” She’s always been scandalous, she could never learn a lesson, she’d never get enough. She saw an opportunity to finally sink her teeth into what she envied, and sinking her teeth is what she planned on doing.

“Tempting, can’t wait for mr kim huh?” I attempted to participate in her now lustful staring. “Hmm, you won’t make me will you?” I set free a chuckle, letting my fingertips glide my lip. “Your place, we can make it an all night thing...you can bring me to get my car in the morning.” She collected her expensive shoulder bag. “No, y/n is at my place, probably out cold by now....I’ll bring you somewhere with a romantic view, you’ll get back to your car tonight.” She frowned at the mention of her name, pulling her wisps of hair back.

“Fine, but don’t say her name anymore tonight.” Nodding I stood offering a hand to help her up and she refused with a bratty giggle, leaving the office. She removed her heels walking barefoot to the elevator, I paced hot on her trail, finally catching her as she stood idle in the spacious elevator.

The elevator couldn’t reach the final floor fast enough for me, she’d gotten comfortable the guilt of cheating on her husband nonexistent. Sighing in frustration eyeing my watch. She toyed with my fingers leaning against me, “why’d you replace me huh?” She pouted interlocking our fingers, her fridged rings kissed my skin harshly. “Excuse me?” She sighed, “we were messing around and you...found y/n.” I chuckled as the doors pulled open. “You were engaged...nothing more would’ve developed anyway.”

Eunji and I had held countless endeavors right under Namjoon’s nose, flirtatious, casual, sexual. But he was everything but oblivious, he was just lenient until he found out the depth of our friendship. So he decided to test the waters with y/n, it was extremely unacceptable. Eunji was engaged after all, I do have some self respect. I never replaced her, I just found someone I actually loved, someone who needed me and only me.

She only laughed at my reasoning, following me giddily to my car, I opened the passenger and let her inside. I already had her fate planned. She’d been the thorn in y/n’s side ever since she’d started, she’d come running to me in tears over the things Eunji would say...the things she’d do. They treated her like a rag doll the new girl fresh to adulthood, she knew nothing better than to follow and comply.

Eunji was given warning after warning, I hate firing people but for her I’d make an exception. But y/n she’s so sweet...it’ll kill her to know Eunji was walking around jobless because of her sensitivity. So what am I to do? I’ll just make her leave silently...on her own. I’ll make her disappear.

“Where are we going?” She pushed my knee aggressively, I’d zoned out completely roaming my thoughts a dangerous thing to do behind the wheel. Absentmindedly I’d driven past our false “date”, ultimately finding ourselves in the dark. “There is this bridge, it’s romantic y/n loves it.” I fibbed, how much of an idiot could I be...this mishaps could fuck everything I’d planned. I pulled onto said bridge, vacant, thankfully just how I needed it. I turned the car off, in pitch black I could feel her looking at me.

“Huh, what a view.” She quips, “well don’t be ungrateful.” The moment before the fall is always awkward, “hm...recline the seat.” She ordered, I personally didn’t enjoy her tone. I let my seat slowly fall back and she leaned over the center console. Blindly fiddling my pant buckle. Oh shit. Oh no. Waves of guilt washed over me at the simple thought of what she was attempting.

This had to be it, she’d made it to my briefs with ease, trailing her manicured fingers along my member. This had to happen now or the outcome I’d been planning would definitely go to shit. I put an end to her exploration, gripping the back of her neck with great force she mewled like a harmed animal. “F-fuck Min, feeling rough?”

No way would this be easy or clean in the car. “Shut up.” I gritted, now griping her hair making her whine and cry out. “P-please wait.” “What the fuck did I say?” Opening my door I pulled her from the car on my side. This needed to be quick and clean, this bridge was all too public and constantly frequented for me to be leaving a messy scene on.

What smart girl, she tried to escape only to be pained by my iron grip on her mane. “Why so scared...you wanted me right?” “M-m-Min! Please I’m sorry, tell her I’m sorry...sorry-so sorry.” I kicked the pit of her knee causing her to collapse on the cold gravel. “One sorry Bitch you are, I couldn’t even pay you to keep your mouth shut.”

“Think of all you did to that innocent woman...ruined her clothes, sent her on wild goose chases in a county she’s never been in, made her fall down the stairs, turned half the office against her...so evil you even made your sleazy husband her personal predator.” She sobbed pathetically, “w-what....he did-wait?” Of course she was unaware as any idiot would be.

I knelt mumbling in her ear. “He touched my fucking girlfriend for months on end...She was so ashamed do you know how much it took for her to come and tell me?” She gagged on her sobs, choking herself on her cries. “I’m sorry, I’ll quit I’ll leave-no need to do this I’ll be gone by tomorrow.”

She whispers letting her body go limp. She thinks it’s so easy. “You sure will.” I grumbled reaching to pull my tie from my back pocket. “You can’t do shit to me- Joon- Joon will be lo-” “Joon his fucking dead. This right here.” I kicked her down pressing my foot into her soft back, to keep her still. She struggled to breath with my weight on her back, I crouch looping the long tie around her neck she ceased from fighting back as I wrapped it around my hands as well. Pulling with my angered strength, “this is the fucking business trip...enjoy the flight whore.”

She stoped struggling all together, pulling the fabric as tight as I could, I made sure the deed was done. She quit breathing, the ceased the struggle. Violently making sure she was gone, before I stored her in the trunk. My hands shook, the rush made my figure quake, I did my best to climb into the drivers seat.

Starting the car, it’s best in mind to flee as fast as I arrived. He’ll be pissed to high heaven, but at this moment theirs only one person to call. I scanned the road feeling beyond the edge, unsure of my final destination. Finally he felt the need to answer “Min, Min Yoongi-ah it is too late to be calling me this way!” He croaked through the phone .

“Jimin, hm a bonus?” “Excuse me?” He shuffled, I couldn’t continue to circle around here “Jimin...I need your help.” I groaned, I’d have to find somewhere to go before someone saw me driving suspiciously. “I’ve made another mistake....a messy one.” He gasped before mumbling complaints. “Why,Who and how much?” He grumbled, “meet me and I’ll let you know that.” “You know where to find me.” When all else fails, Jimin is the one to call. Partner in crime, cheater of justice and death.

NOW READING FROM : readers point of view.

Fear rolled over you as you came to the realization that is was almost 5 AM and Yoongi wasn’t in bed. Holly still occupied his spot, sprawled out in pure comfort. Enjoying the luxury of sleeping in the big bed.

Rubbing sleep from your eyes you shuffled your feet along the chilly floor, slipping in Yoongi’s slippers to adventure to the bathroom. You’d have to be back at work in some hours, Yoongi as well. It’s never like him to be late. After reliving yourself, washing up you’d realized the dryness of your mouth.

Aiding the feeling you took the trip downstairs, Holly’s paws hot on ur heels. “You thirsty too?” Rhetorically you questioned setting his dish for him, and grabbing a water for yourself, drinking it almost instantly. “You’ll get sick that way kitten.”

You choked in response, spitting the water onto the marbled counter. “What the fuck Yoongi, where’ve you been?” You spoke into the darkness, you didn’t hear him come in, maybe he was already home. “After I cleared some things up at work, Jimin and I had to...do some heavy work.” His voice held a quiver, unsure if it was of sadness or fear, maybe even anger.

“Ah well....come out of the dark, come over here.” You closed the the water, Holly had already met him in the living room. He neared, his features being shown from the glow of the kitchen lights. “Here, c’mon.” You sat on the island, back to him.

Something was off...he was hiding something, he was moving strangely with his words and actions. He came, leaving Holly on the floor he centers between your legs. Leaning on his palms on either side of you, “my shirt, my slippers, dressing up as me today?” You gave a soft smirk, “when’d you change?”

“At Jimin’s the work was messy.” “Ah...what’s that on your lip?” Taking your nail, you scrapped the flake of red from his top lip. “Been kissing other ladies...ladies in cheap red lipstick?” You giggled. His face ran pale at your joke, “n-no probably from Parks food, we were hungry.” You gazed in his eyes, “what’d you eat?” “Why?” Sighing you blew it off, “no reason, just curious...how’d it go with Eunji.”

He sighed leaned forward on the counter to stretch his back. It’s then when you caught a glimpse of something odd. “There was a struggle, but it’s all over now.” You held his shoulders, stopping him from moving back up, “Yoongi, you have this stuff all in your hair, where were you?” You brushed the stubborn dried substance with your fingers. “All on your neck.” You groomed him awaiting his answer. “Painting at Jimin’s.” Overpowering you he stood to his height.

You didn’t believe him, how could you? What paint job takes that long? How could it get on his hair? Down his neck? On his lips...nose as well? “I’m going to bed, kiss.” He pecked my cheek moving from my legs, Holly followed his escape. “Oh, and Jimin’s buddy gonna look at my car for a while I had to clean it out...left your lipstick.” He threw the tube for you to catch, it fell in your clutches.

“Yoongi, stop...where’d you get this?” “In the car, it’s yours baby.” He stood stiff on the stairs not turning around. “No, it’s not I can’t wear this...it fucks up my lips, I’m allergic.”

“It was Kim’s huh? You were out doing what you said you didn’t.” He turned glaring sinisterly. “I was out doing what I should’ve a while ago.”

You scoffed, he’s unbelievable, how could he. You’d began to plan your breakdown, how you’d destroy his home in a fit of rage. He’d cheated, lied, and didn’t care. “Kim Eunji and Kim Namjoon are dead.” He shared coldly, “any more questions miss curiosity?”

“No? Good now come up and clean me.”

In utter shock, you shook on top of the kitchen island. He’d made his way to the shower quickly, you heard the faint sprinkling. Sliding from your seat, in fear you followed his orders “now my love...don’t be afraid of me I do all things for you out of love.”

Minshookie 2021 | Not my image

[test-tube]

Dawn at the Winery

Author’s Note: Apologies!! School took up a lot of time and I also just couldn’t carry the plot- (pspspsps @starfell-traveler​​ come here you simp) Pairings: Crepus x GN!Reader Word Count: 1533 (I’m ashamed)  TW: death

You took a deep breath, excited for your new job. You were sure working at the Dawn Winery wouldn’t be too difficult, right? Right? It’ll be perfectly fine, you assured yourself. You opened the doors and were greeted by the sound of children cheering.

“I gotcha!”

“AHH- “

A blue haired child fell onto a chaise, then started squirming. “I’ve been hit! R…remember mE!”

You couldn’t help but giggle at the two. They looked about 6 maximum.

The redheaded child turned to you. “Oh, who’re you?”

“I’m Y/N, your-“You paused. You shouldn’t make any rash assumptions. “Master Crepus hired me. Is he here?”

“Papa’s upstairs in his office. But he did leave us this.” The child handed you a paper, outlining your tasks for the day.

“I guess I’ve got to take care of you two. So,” You bent over to his height and ruffled his soft hair. “What do you want to do?”

“We were playing pirates...but if you can take us outside…” The kid’s eyes were wide with pleading. The infamous puppy dog eyes. You crumbled.

“All right, all right. What’re your names first?”

The child with blue hair stood up and dashed over. “I’m Captain Kaeya!”

“No, you’re not.”

“Shush Diluc.”

“Kaeya and Diluc then.” You smiled at the two.

“Actually, it’s Diluc and Kaeya.” Diluc corrected. “I’m older.”

“Diluc and Kaeya,” You amended. “Shall we go outside?”

“Woohoo!!” The two boys ran outside quickly, you chuckled and followed them.

  They played for hours upon hours. Would they ever run out of energy? The sun had started to set, you ordered them back inside. You were met with a taller man with red hair similar to Diluc’s. His foot was tapping against the floor, his arms were crossed.

Diluc and Kaeya stopped short. Their heads hung low. “Sorry Papa.” They said in unison.

(Y/N: 😀😀 I’ve been lied to)

“I’ll ask this one time. Who let you two out?” The man ordered.

You gulped and met the eyes of the man. “I did sir. I deeply apologize.”

His eyes met your and his expression softened in a way. Maybe it was due to how sheepish you looked?

“A common mistake. These two can easily win people over.” He emitted a warm atmosphere now, and he walked over and ruffled the hair of his sons. “But it won’t happen again. Not without permission.”

“Yes sir, of course.” You nodded. You were incredibly relieved of Master Crepus’ easy-going nature. You had a feeling working here would be fun.

Everyday was a new adventure, caring for the Ragnvindr boys. You played pirates, attended parties, watched over their lessons. You smiled and listened and watched over these boys like they were your own, in some way you felt like a parent yourself. You loved this feeling and wanted to cherish it.

You had held your occupation for over a year now and you have never been so fond of the household. Crepus tells the boys such wonderful stories at night, shifting his tone for each characters to make the audience giggle. Taking tour along the winery, pointing out all the wildlife.

While it’s true Crepus does spend a majority of his time working, when he comes out it’s like the sun peeking from behind clouds, a rare, warm event.

“Mx. Y/N, Mx. Y/N!” called Kaeya. He clutched several letters in hand. “You got something in the mail! I’m not sure why it came here though…”

“No matter, thanks for the delivery.” You ruffled the kid’s hair like you always did.

He giggled and ran off, leaving you to address the letter privately.

  Dearest Y/N,

I looked upon you on a moonlit night, astounded by your beauty

I see you each day, blown away by your kindness

I’ve come to the terms of my own feelings, but I am unsure of yours

Please accompany me to Windrise, a picnic awaits

  You felt increasingly flustered the longer you held the parchment. It wasn’t signed, no, but you planned to accept. What’s the harm if you did? You would probably need to request time off from Master Crepus…

You knocked on the door to his office, out rang a gruff voice. “Come in.”

“Master Crepus?” You peeked through the doorframe.

His expression softened at the sight of you. “Yes Y/N?”

“I received a letter earlier, inviting me to go to a picnic. I was planning on accepting, may I request time off?”

He pondered this for a second. “Yes, of course.. Take the rest of the day off, actually.”

“Really? I couldn’t do that Master Crepus, I really couldn’t.”

“Nonsense. You deserve a break.”

You looked hesitantly at your boss but gave in. “Alright. But tomorrow I’ll arrive early.”

“If you insist.”

You nodded and stepped outside of the office to inform the boys you were leaving and that they were expected to behave themselves for the hours you were gone.

The wind blew lazily in your hair as you walked to the roots of the Windrise tree. A small blanket was set up with a basket and candles. You sat carefully on one side, promising yourself to not look just yet. You heard a slight shift and peeked at your suitor. You gasped at the familiar face.

“Y/N-“

He looked extremely worried and hesitant, which was honestly fair. You erupted into a small smile. “Did you mean all of those things? In the letter?”

“Of course. All of that and more.”

You felt blush creep onto your cheeks. You looked down at the blanket. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything.”

His voice reassured you easily, like how his stories could lull Kaeya and Diluc to sleep.

You scooted closer to him and muttered something about eating the food. The two of you dined together while Crepus occasionally told stories and jokes to make you feel more at ease. It was nice, seeing Master Crepus able to relax. It made you feel all warm and fuzzy how he’d want to spend his time with you.

The veil of night spread over the sky. You bid Crepus farewell.

“You could stay at the winery if you wish.” He offered.

It was rather far from home. You lived alone anyways, it would be quite lonely, sitting in a silent home. You nodded and turned towards the manor. He silently asked permission to grab you by the waist, after your confirmation he snugly held you in a sort of half hug.

The two of you arrived and he hesitated outside of the guest room.

“Thank you for accompanying me.”

“Thank you for the invitation.” You reply with a smile. He kissed your hand softly and walked over to the master bedroom, disappearing for the night.

You awoke with a smile, remembering the acts of last night. You hummed contentedly as you got dressed and walked through the manor. Diluc and Kaeya were both already awake, reading in the family room. When Kaeya caught sight of you he looked excited.

“How did it go?”

Both you and Diluc replied “How did what go?”

“Oh, come on~” Kaeya set down his book and walked over to you. “You know what I’m talking about. Papa was very excited that you went, he put extra effort in his story last night.”

You became flushed and tried to hide the pink on your cheeks. “That? Oh, it was wonderful. But it’s between me and your papa, alright?” You booped Kaeya on the nose and he giggled. “Don’t you two have classes to get to?”

The two boys nodded and dashed off, though you caught a hint of Kaeya whispering something. Couldn’t stop him from gossiping. As usual.

Crepus walked into the family room. “Ah, I was just about to get them.”

“Good morning Master Crepus.” You said meekly.

“Let’s not bother with formalities.” He smiled and gave you another kiss on the hand before carefully grabbing it and pulling you into a dance. Music drafted from somewhere nearby. You had no time to regain your composure, so you just focused on the steps. 1, 2, 3, 4. 1, 2, 3, 4.

Kaeya and Diluc peeked from a doorframe, giggling. You caught their eye and you smiled as their expressions became surprised and the duo dashed away.

“Is something wrong?” Crepus asked.

“No, no of course not.” You looked back at the man and smiled as his gentle expression.

Each day there was something new. He made you breakfast. Bought you gifts. Wrote you letters. Called you “my fawn” or “sweet flower”. You were totally and indefinitely entranced.

You remembered these days with a bittersweet heart as the rain dripped down from your umbrella onto your hands encased with black silk.

You remembered these days during your silent grieving with Kaeya.

You remembered these days when you saw that little velvet box on Crepus’ desk and broke down in sobs. Diluc had found you that day and comforted you, but you could hardly hear him over your throbbing heart.

You looked at the two older boys, turned away from each other. Their world had been torn apart. Your world had been torn apart.

“Can we go play pirates?” You ask with a sob.

[haleigh-sloth]

Hello,

I just found your page and after reading some of your mha posts had a couple things I wanted to ask if that's ok.

1. Since you feel Hawks is not justified because he could have chosen options other than killing Twice, do you think he would have been had he genuinely been made to choose between killing him and saving others? I.e. do you think it's just this killing in particular that was not justified and thus murder, or do you think heroes killing can never be justified, even if in self-defense or defense of others? If we take the "Heroes save people" maxim to its limits, it might be reasonable to argue for a deontological approach to ethics rather than a utilitarian one, so that killing one to save others is not justified because you actively break your code (as opposed to risking not being able to save others, which would be considered a lesser moral wrong under this mindset).

2. This might very well be a stupid question, but if we consider that heroes shouldn't treat others as an it and put them down for the "sake of society", do you feel this ought to extend to AFO too? I really don't mean to use this as a gotcha moment or anything like it, but I feel like if MHA is trying to move away from a punitive justice system in favour of a rehabilitative/restorative one, we ought to consider where people like AFO fall into this system as well. AFO is seemingly entirely unlike any of the other villains in the show, but if we judge that he deserves a different fate for this it also feels like playing into the "Some people just can't be saved" notion that's been perpetuated by hero society. It is of course entirely possible, if not likely, that he'll fall in battle, or that Shigaraki himself will kill him eventually, but I feel like that skirts the issue rather than answer it. As someone who does not seem to show any remorse, desire or even ability to be saved, and in fact feels rather inhuman, what should a reformed society even do with him? Even if we could convincingly argue him to be fundamentally different and thus deserving of punishment, it is much easier for us readers who have more information to make this call, rather than in-universe characters whose judgement will inevitably be based on something less than the full truth. So even if AFO's case in particular was easily answered, it would set a precedent for cases that may appear similar, but in truth be less clear cut. Basically, I believe you feel the villain league deserves another chance because they were victims of their circumstances, and thus not necessarily beyond salvation, because they never knew normality to begin with, but what about those who were not victims, those who by their nature have insurmountable trouble fitting into a peaceful society? Perhaps it's just my mistaken assumption that such people exist and I'm reading AFO wrong, or perhaps it's the opposite and I'm giving people like AFO undue consideration, or perhaps my assumption that AFO ought to be treated as a person rather than a carocature, a symbol, is flawed to begin with, but I just really don't think a manga that wants to argue that villains are people too should go "but here's THIS vile piece of shit, let's kill him!". Am I making sense here?

3. On another note, what do you think of Endeavor's recent speech and general recent development? I've seen some people who were upset by his "Would it fix everything if we showed you our tears" line, but rather than him being dismissive or callous I just see it as him awkwardly saying that he doesn't think anything other than actions can help him atone for what he did. He's still got a lot to work through, but him recognizing that he's got something to atone for and freely talking about what he did to his family is, as I find, certainly a huge step in the right direction.

WHOO hey! Sorry for taking a while to respond. You gave me some really well thought-out questions and I wanted to return the favor with well thought-out answers. Also I was heckin busy yesterday when you sent this. So, here we go:

To answer this question about Hawks, I first need to clarify what it means to be a hero in the eyes of the story that is BNHA:

This honestly doesn’t even make a dent in the amount of panels in BNHA that reiterate time and time again that heroes SAVE people, but I don’t feel like I should have to spend too much time looking for them, these I used above should suffice. The one with baby Midoriya and baby Tenko doesn’t even have any words in the panel, and it’s still powerful enough to get the message across. And make me cry.

Almost every story has its own “heroes” in it. And every story’s definition of a hero is different. In Marvel and DC superhero comics and movies, the heroes usually end up killing the villains, yes? I can’t say I’m familiar with these stories because they aren’t interesting to me in the slightest, but from the ones I HAVE seen, the final boss at the end dies. But all of the heroes get to keep their title of “hero”. That’s not really the standard we have in BNHA.

“Do you think it's just this killing in particular that was not justified and thus murder, or do you think heroes killing can never be justified, even if in self-defense or defense of others?”

So this is a fair point and I feel that the best way to answer this is by asking what you consider self defense? Say Hawks is at home mad chillin and not prepared for a fight in the slightest, and somebody breaks into his house and starts trying to hurt/kill him. He’s unprepared and at this point just trying to keep himself alive. If he ends up killing the guy, is he wrong? In my opinion, no. In real life this happens to people, and they aren’t considered murderers, as they shouldn’t be. To me, self defense is a situation where:

It’s either you or me. It’s one or the other.

I think it’s fair to say what happened with Hawks and Twice was absolutely NOT self defense. I’m not going to go into detail about how deciding to kill Twice was absolutely 100% premeditated, because there’s a wonderful post by someone else that already explains that in great detail here. But I’ll end this thought by saying that Hawks was not committing an act of self defense.

Nothing about this says “self-defense” to me.

“If we take the "Heroes save people" maxim to its limits, it might be reasonable to argue for a deontological approach to ethics rather than a utilitarian one, so that killing one to save others is not justified because you actively break your code (as opposed to risking not being able to save others, which would be considered a lesser moral wrong under this mindset).”

To make it simple for some people to understand these terms:

“Utilitarianism is an ethical theory that determines right from wrong by focusing on OUTCOMES.“ In a nutshell, utilitarian ethics means you make a decision based on how it will affect everything else.

“In moral philosophy, deontological ethics or deontology is the normative ethical theory that the morality of an action should be based on whether that action itself is right or wrong under a series of rules, rather than based on the consequences of the action.” In a nutshell, deontological ethics means you make a decision based on whether it follows rules or not.

So this is a complicated question, and my answer to this is....both? Throughout BNHA we’ve had this dilemma over and over again:

Break the rules and save the day? Or follow the rules and possibly suffer the consequences? Well, BNHA just says “Yes” lol. Do both. Break the rules and save the day. Make a decision based on the consequences of said decision, but also try to follow the rules as best as you can. Even in reality, people do this to get through life. You really can’t live life under a strict utilitarian approach or a strict deontological approach. If Midoriya hadn’t persisted against his classmates and the law to go save Bakugo, he WOULD have gotten kidnapped AGAIN. They were actively trying to take him with them. If Midoriya didn’t break the rules to save Kota, Kota would have straight up DIED. Muscular was actively trying to kill Kota, not to mention Kota had zero ways of defending himself. But here’s where I don’t think this is a fair comparison:

Hawks claims his killing of Twice was to save others. I don’t completely disagree with this logic, if the situation was more dire and dangerous for Hawks. The league was taking peoples’ lives. Somebody had to do something. The problem is that Twice was RUNNING AWAY when Hawks killed him. Twice wasn’t fighting Hawks back, he wasn’t endangering Hawks himself. Hawks stabbed him in the back. AND Hawks had Dabi to worry about, who was actively trying to attack Hawks. But Hawks chose to murder Twice instead of fending off Dabi. And if you refer back to the post I linked above about how it was a premeditated decision to kill Twice, you’ll see that Hawks had the capability of knocking Twice unconscious. He should have done this from the get go. And honestly? There are other heroes who could have captured Twice. There SHOULD have been other heroes to capture Twice. If Hawks was the only hope for the heroes in that war then jeez, the heroes suck at their jobs.

So TLDR for this question: Hawks’s circumstances were not drastic enough for him to be justified in killing Twice. As I said above, self-defense is one thing, where yes I could understand how if a life is lost while defending oneself is probably inevitable in some cases. But this wasn’t self defense. Twice was running away. Hawks should also be able to rely on his hero comrades to help him out.

Instead Hawks chose to be law-enforcement, judge, and executioner all in one moment.

I hope this answers your question? I tried my best. If I misunderstood or missed a talking point, feel free to shoot me a message or another ask.

Next question:

Believe me. I have thought about this! What about AFO? He’s human too isn’t he? You have a point. Should the restorative justice system extend to AFO? I would say yes. If I’m going to stick to my guns that the villains deserve restorative justice and not punitive justice, I should be fair and say it should extend to all villains.

The problem is not in the idea of exploring saving AFO, it’s just that there simply isn’t enough time to explore this in the story. If Horikoshi had said “I’m not going anywhere guys! We’re in this for the long haul!” I’d say it’s possible to explore that route. We don’t know anything about AFO except from what we’ve seen on screen, and what we’ve been told by All Might and the other OFA holders. Which still isn’t much to go on. You’re not giving AFO undue consideration. It’s definitely a deserved consideration. There are people in the story (and the real world) who may not be victimized in any way and end up being villains. Do they deserve a chance? I’d say yes. It’s in my nature as a social worker irl to give people the benefit of the doubt and give them a chance to learn. You’re right that in the end, the league being saved and the characters not considering what could have led AFO to villainy is just “skirting around the problem.” And honestly, that’s probably what we’re going to get. I wouldn’t be surprised for the thought to pass in Midoriya’s head. After saving somebody like Shigaraki, who everybody in the story (and many readers) considered to be “too far gone”, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Midoriya entertained the thought for a brief moment. “What could have saved AFO from himself?” So honestly I don’t have an answer to this question that qualifies both sides. I can’t say that AFO is “too far gone” without undermining that fact that I never believed Shigaraki was “too far gone”, simply because we don’t get to decide what “too far gone” is.  All I can say is that in the eyes of the story, there are far too many differences between AFO’s circumstances and Shigaraki’s circumstances to compare the two, and say they deserve the same type of sympathy from us readers.

Truly I have no sympathy for AFO, because the story doesn’t ask for it. The story wants sympathy for Shigaraki, Toga, Touya, Spinner, and even a tiiiiiny bit for Overhaul. It asks for NONE for AFO.

Another post I’ll link here that isn’t by me but by another awesome meta blogger (@hamliet​) is this.

In a nutshell it says:

It’s not that AFO can’t be saved, it’s that he won’t. That’s the best answer I can give to that question honestly.

As for the third question:

That press conference was just...eh. I mean yeah, Endeavor not denying the allegations was good. Not that he really could anyway. It sucks for the rest of his family though. But at the same time Touya deserved his revenge, even though it was at the expense of his siblings and mother. It sucks, it’s a double edged sword because somebody is hurting no matter what was gonna happen. Endeavor was an asshole to that lady but I don’t really care too much. I’m really torn on what I think is going on inside Enji’s head because the Todofam is either extremely dense, or Horikoshi is writing their dialogue extremely vague on purpose to keep reader’s on the edge of their seats regarding what they want to do about Touya. I really don’t know. I’m not thrilled with the way the Todofam plot is being written right now, even though I’m 100% sure Touya is going to get his happy ending. But right now anything to do with the Todofam that isn’t Shoto and Touya just bothers me. I don’t think Enji really understands yet what he has to do for Touya. Yes he recognizes that he has to atone, but he’s not recognizing HOW he has to atone. Right now he’s still stuck in that “I have to be a hero to absolve my crimes against my family” headspace and I don’t think he’s going to get out of that headspace until he comes face to face with his son and realizes that he can’t just fight villains and go home to a happy family that he terrorized for 20 years. He’s going to have to let his family go, let them decide when to let him back in, if they ever do (I think they will just because of the way the story is being written.) As a reader, Enji is just a character that I cannot vibe with, no matter what happens. I definitely appreciate his role in the story. His role is vital to Touya’s saving and redemption. Touya is in my top 3 favorite characters from this series and I’m emotionally invested. So while I appreciated Enji’s role in the story, I don’t like his character or anything to do with him, at least until it comes time to help save his son. Also the trio of Hawks, Best Jeanist, and Enji just gives me major back the blue vibes and I just can’t read their chapters and be in a good mood lol.

Thank you for the ask! I hope I answered everything! This was fun to answer!

[angryschnauzer]

Superior Specimen - Chapter 6

Summary: One night when you are following the Archaeology tag on instagram you stumbled across a fun looking dig… and an even more interesting Paleontologist who soon follows you back. Over the following weeks you start chatting and a friendship soon grows.

Relationship: AU Henry Cavill x Female Reader (No race or body shape mentioned)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Warnings: Slow Burn, NSFW, 18+, Mutual Masturbation, Phone Sex, Drunken Piggy Back Rides, Oral Sex (Female Recieving), Drama, Theft, Amateur Heroics, Hospital Visit, Shower Sex, Oral Sex (Male Receiving), Blow Job, Fingering, Lavish lifestyle, Henry is loaded, The Shard, Expensive Gifts, Sixty nine, Unprotected Sex

I do not operate a tag list, but please follow @angryschnauzerwrites​ and put that blog onto notifications, as you will then be notified whenever i post something new.

I don’t have a masterlist, but all my works are on AO3, link here. Usually i post oneshots to Tumblr and AO3, and multichapters exclusively to AO3, but as this is my first henry story and its going to be a short series, i’ll post to both places.

Chapter 6

 Henry left soon after, grabbing a slice of toast as you’d stood in the kitchen in just your dressing gown, apologising for not being able to spend the day with you but he had meetings for work and for future dig’s planned for the southern hemisphere in the winter. You’d stood in the kitchen sipping your coffee for a long while after he’d left, thinking over what he’d casually dropped into conversation; was this a fling?, Was the fact that he would spend months at a time out of the country the reason why such a catch was still single? Or was this something he did; find a girl, romance them, and then leave them on ‘business’ once things got boring? You shook your head to rid yourself of those thought and immediately regretted it, your head hurting from your wound. You gingerly touched it and brought your fingers in front of your face, letting out a sigh of relief when you saw there was no blood, but you realised you’d need to be careful for the next couple of days. 

 As you continued to sip your coffee you read over your emails again, re-reading the one from your boss and frowning; it seemed very short and curt, but he was probably just annoyed that one of his staff was due time off in their busiest season due to what was essentially a workplace injury.

 You decided you were going to head to yoga, even without the joke earlier about needing to limber up, it would help you focus and recharge your mind as well as your body.

 -

 By the time Friday afternoon had arrived your week off was surprisingly busy; finally finding time to do all those small chores that you had put off for weeks, but also you’d taken the chance to go shopping for a dress for your date.

 Rather than hit the chaos of Oxford Street or Westfield, instead you’d sought out a couple of vintage and secondhand dress agencies. Your morning had been fun, searching through unique pieces until you’d found it, the dress that was perfect. The woman that ran the vintage shop had guessed it had been a custom piece made in the 80’s, the midnight blue velvet piece fitting you like a glove. It had a thigh high split on one side and was patterned with silver sequins hand sewn on sporadically to make it resemble the night sky. It was strapless but had little hooks along the scalloped bust line that could hook over the cups of a strapless bra for extra security. You had a pair of silver heels in your wardrobe at home that would work perfectly with it, and with a bargain clutch from Primark you were sorted. 

 As you primped and preened that afternoon, fixing your hair and makeup, you smiled at your reflection as you pulled the dress on just a few minutes before Henry was due to pick you up. You were checking the contents of your clutch when the doorbell rang, frowning as you answered it and saw Henry on the small intercom screen;

 “Henry? You know the code”

 He grinned at the camera;

 “Yes, but I’m being gentlemanly… this time I don’t already have you drunk or drugged in my arms…”

 You pressed the buzzer to let him in, flicking the latch on the door as you went to fasten the straps on your heels, looking up just as he peered around the open doorway and stopped dead on his feet;

 “Wow…”

 He looked you up and down, his eyes wide as he took in your curves in the vintage dress, his gaze pausing at your chest on his way down and then on his way back up again. 

 You had a similar reaction when you saw how he was dressed; navy suit and kingfisher blue shirt, the top few buttons undone where it fitted his chest like a glove. He crossed the room slowly, like a predator stalking his prey, resting his hands on your hips and ducking his head to kiss you before pulling back to admire your cleavage close up;

 “I must say, I am a big fan of this dress” He ran a fingernail over the top of your breast, your skin prickling in Goosebumps at his touch before he opened his jacket and pulled a flat velvet box from the inside pocket and handed it to you; 

 “You remember when we first started talking properly, that I said I’d brought you something back from Siberia?”

 Your eyes went wide;

 “Henry… what is this?”

 “Open it and see”

 In disbelief you pulled the box open and let out a small gasp; nestled within the box was a delicate necklace, a raw amethyst gemstone set into a delicate silver chain. As you held the box he lifted the chain, walking behind you so he could bring it over your head, his fingers nimbly fastening it before he traced his fingertips over your bare shoulders and pressed a kiss to your neck;

 “You look stunning… the platinum looks beautiful on you”

 You spun around, your hand resting on the necklace;

 “Platinum?! I thought it was silver! Henry, this is too much… I can’t take this, not when it’s only our first date…”

 He brought his hands to yours and gently clasped them, pressing a kiss to your fingers before he smiled kindly;

 “It’s not really our first date though, is it? We’ve had drinks, I’ve spent the night… And please, let me give you this…”

 “But it’s too expensive!”

 “Not to me it isn’t… I’m lucky enough to me more than comfortable financially, let me share it with you” He closed his hands gently around yours as they held the necklace, pressing a kiss to your knuckles; “It suits you… and I can’t exactly keep it, the chain would get caught on my chest hair”

 You laughed and pressed a kiss to his lips;

 “Thank you”

 -

 Henry had driven you through the early evening London streets with ease, confident and calm even when cabs would cut in front of him or Uber Eats bicycles would whizz past your door at traffic lights. As much as you’d asked him where you were going, he just smiled and replied ‘you’ll see’ before returning his attention back to the road. 

 Finally you recognised some familiar sights as you passed the entrance to Borough Market, before he swung a left and your eyes went wide;

 “We’re going to The Shard?”

 He grinned as he steered the car into the space outside the entrance, the valet opening your door was Henry strode around the car and took your hand whilst handing his keys to the valet. The ride up through the building in the silent elevator gave you butterflies, before he took your hand as the doors chimed. Henry offered you his arm and you tucked your own through it, your stomach flipping nervously as he walked with confidence up to the maitre’d;

 “Good Evening Dr Cavill”

 You had to try and keep your face neutral that the staff knew who he was, and Henry greeted him in return as if he was an old friend;

 “How are you Michael? Family good?”

 “Yes, thank you Sir. My daughter will be starting Oxford university in September, thank you for your letter of endorsement”

 “Wonderful, great to hear. Are we ok to have some drinks and take in the view before we sit down for dinner?”

 “Of course, Sir. I can prepare your table for whenever you need it. You’re booked into the Westminster Suite tonight?”

 “Yes, that’s the one”

 The man smiled as he led you and Henry to a small bar table near the window, and as soon as you’d rested your small clutch bag on it a waiter appeared;

 “Can I get you some drinks tonight?”

 Henry glanced at you;

 “Champers?” You nodded as he continued; “We’ll have a bottle of the Krug 1996”

 The waiter nodded once and walked away, and it was only when Henry lightly touched your arm and made you jump did you realise you’d zoned out a little;

 “Princess?”

 “Sorry, just trying to process this is all real” you laughed quietly

 “Very real” he took your hand and was about to say something when the waiter returned, setting the small tray with two champagne flutes and a small bowl of strawberries onto the table, before quietly opening the expensive bottle in front of you. Pouring two glasses he set the bottle onto the table and left without another word, letting you return your attention to Henry;

 “What’s on your mind? You were quiet in the car the whole way over. Is this too much?”

 You smiled;

 “No, it’s wonderful. Obviously it’s not a standard night out for me, but you know…”

 “What else is bothering you?”

 You took a deep breath and smiled, pointing to your glass of champagne;

 “Ok firstly, this; I’m not taking a sip until I tell you that I one hundred percent want to sleep with you”

 “Ok, that’s good to hear” he grinned

 “You are so kind and caring, specifically waiting until I was sober before we would sleep together, and now obviously you have thought tonight through, you’ve got a suite here - that was a bit of a surprise I’ll add, but a pleasant one - so I want to get this completely agreed to before you waste all this money and then not asking for consent…”

 He nodded and sipped his glass, smiling and a kind look on his face as you continued;

 “Also, my safe word is Nerd”

 “Nerd?”

 “Yes. In case of later…”

 “Gotcha” he paused for a moment before nodding to your glass; “Do you want a drink now?”

 “God yes” You tipped the glass and sipped at the bubbles, feeling them burst over your tongue, and as you were setting the glass down and reaching for a strawberry Henry rested a hand on your hip;

 “Is there anything else?”

 “You said you were organising digs in the Southern Hemisphere for the winter… where would that leave us, you and me? Would this between us just be a summer fling? I just kind of want to know where I stand before you break my heart”

 “So firstly, I do not see this as just a summer fling. I feel like I’ve known you for years, and remember we were talking on Instagram for months before I finally worked up enough courage to say more than just asking if your day was ok… But the winter digs, it’s what I do. Obviously I’m attached to the museum, but I’m also linked to several others all around the world. I can be away for a month or six months at a time, it’s all dependant on the weather and permits, local politics, but I’d fly back whenever I could, and fly you out when you could take time off work”

 “You would do that? You would wait for me?”

 He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you gently to his chest as he ran a finger gently down your cheek;

 “Of course I’d wait for you. I have always waited… I have found people don’t wait for me”

 “What?! But… but you’re a catch! You’re kind and caring… you know how to treat a partner in every way!”

 He shrugged, looking a little pensive;

 “I don’t know what to say… but the last couple of girlfriends presumed I would cheat so ended things ‘before I broke their heart’... which I would never do…”

 He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips before a quiet cough sounded behind you, the pair of you turning to see the waiter;

 “Would you like your table now or would you like to continue with drinks here?”

 Henry smiled at you;

 “I could eat, you?”

 “Yes, please”

 The waiter nodded and loading your drinks onto a tray before you followed him, Henry leaning to whisper in your ear;

 “I look forward to eating you later too”

 -

 Dinner was fabulous, each dish seemingly better than the last, flavours dancing on your tongue and you had to struggle not to make obscene moaning sounds, but when the occasional one did escape Henry’s smile would spread further across his face until you laughed as well. By the time the dessert menu was brought over you declined;

 “Are you sure?” Henry pushed; “Really, you can have anything you like, this whole night is on me”

 You laughed quietly;

 “I’m not looking at the prices…” you leant back and rested a hand on your stomach; “But I am *just* the right amount of full at the moment to be happy to do any other activities tonight… if I eat dessert I wouldn’t”

 Henry nodded and gave a nod to the waiter, quietly speaking to him before turning his attention back to you;

 “Princess, shall we retire back to our suite? A nightcap whilst we take in the view; there’s a telescope in the room”

 Nodding you sipped on the last of your drink as Henry signed the bill, slipping a stack of notes into the clip before closing the small black file and handing it back. He stood and quickly circled the table, helping to pull your chair out before offering you his arm. 

 The ride in the lift to the luxury suites was quiet, the atmosphere almost sparking with the energy the pair of you were giving off from the sexual tension. Henry walked you to the door and you were ready to rip his clothing from his body, but as he pushed the door open he smiled and pressed a finger to his lips before speaking, and not to you;

 “Michael, thank you, but we won’t be requiring the butler service tonight”

 The man you recognised from the restaurant emerged from what you could see what the small kitchenette area, wiping his hands on a pristine tea towel;

 “Understood Dr Cavill. I hope you have an enjoyable stay. Your request from the restaurant has been stored safely in the refrigerator”

 “Thank you, Michael,”

 As the man passed you saw Henry slip him a £50 note as he quickly shook his hand, before taking the Do Not Disturb sign and slipping it over the gold hook on the outside of the door and quietly closing it.

 You watched as he shrugged his jacket off and slowly stalked across the room, wrapping his arm around your back, his other hand gently tilting your chin towards his lips as he kissed you, the press of his hot hard body against your own. The kiss was soft, yet he managed to completely dominate you, his tongue pushing against your own and you could taste the whiskey he’d finished his meal with just a few moments before. Your fingers clawed at his shirt, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, and yet as you managed to get one unfastened he pulled away, slipping his hand into yours;

 “Come on, let me show you the view”

 The noise that escaped your lips was a cross between a laugh and a toddlers disgruntled moan;

 “Henry…” you whined; “I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but please, I’m so fucking horny right now, I need you to fuck me into the mattress”

 He turned and walked backwards, tugging you to the panoramic windows and the telescope that sat on the full-length tripod, a quiet laugh filling the void between the two of you;

 “Princess, I promise you will get that… we have all night, all weekend! I just have one thing I want to show you…”

 He peered through the telescope before stepping back and nodding to you, gently guiding you until he was standing behind you, his hands on your hips. You looked through the  eyepiece and let out a gasp; on the roof of a building in Canary Wharf was a light display… and yet it wasn’t just lasers, there was light patterns of dinosaurs; Diplodocus reaching for high leaves, T-rex stalking in the bushes, a group of Raptors running across the building.

 “Oh Henry… how did you?”

 “I have some friends in the city… and some more friends that run outdoor events… just called in a couple of favours”

 You watched through the scope and smiled as you felt Henry wrap his arms around your waist, pressing his hard body flush with your own and started to caress your neck with soft kisses. One hand slipped to your thigh and gently started to tug your dress up until it was high enough for him to slip his hand into the thigh high slit and curl around to seek out your pussy. He was still firmly holding you in place, letting you watch the light show in the relative darkness of the luxury suite, but as his fingers dipped beneath the thin elastic of your lacy thong he let out an appreciative groan as he found you already dripping wet;

 “You really are horny, aren’t you?”

 He found your clit and started to tease it with tight circles, at the same time grinding into the crease of your ass with the hardness still confined to his smart trousers. Under his expert ministrations you soon found yourself swaying your hips, working between pushing harder against his hand then pushing back to feel that delicious friction from behind. Your head fell back against his shoulder and he let out a feral growl against your neck, his teeth grazing against your smooth flesh before gently biting, causing a shudder to run the length of your spine;

 “Ok, Dinosaurs are great, but I need a different bone…” 

 Your words were breathless and were greeted with a low chuckle. Henry withdrew his fingers and you watched as he brought them to his mouth, tasting your juices from the glistening digits, before he moved them to the zip of your dress and slowly started to unzip you. The dress fell to the floor and he let out an appreciative moan;

 “No bra?”

 “You complaining?”

 “Absolutely not”

 Your fingers started quick work of his shirt buttons, unfastening them all before pushing the fabric over his massive shoulders. As he cast the garment aside you unbuttoned his trousers, lowering the zip and palming the massive bulge his boxers could barely contain, Henry’s hips pushing against your palm involuntarily as you felt the heat of his skin though the fabric. Your tongue painted patterns against his chest and his voice stuttered;

 “I want you to sit on my face, ride my tongue Princess, let me make you cum”

 He dropped to his knees and pulled your lace thong down your legs, before unfastening the tiny straps of your heels, running the tips of his fingers up the length of your body as he stood and rid himself of his own clothing, pulling you to the bed.

 He lay on the soft covers, pulling you up his body until your knees were either side of his head, his strong hands gripping onto your thighs as his tongue darted out and parted your folds. His eyes glinted with mischief and you could feel yourself shaking with anticipation as he spoke;

 “Turn around”

 Taking a couple of moments to shift 180º, you rested your hands on his broad chest as he pulled you down to his mouth. At the first touch of his tongue swiping through your folds again you groaned and curled your fingers through the coarse hair on his chest, shuddering at his expert touch. With each pass of the strong muscle you could feel your body rapidly heading towards orgasm already, but when you felt a wide hand flat on your back, pushing you forwards it was heaven as his lips latched onto your clit and he slid two fingers of his other hand into your soaked channel.

 Resting your chest against his abdomen you were face to face with his dick, hard and thick as it rested against his stomach, reaching up to his navel where it wept precum. Wrapping your hand around it you smoothed your thumb over the clear liquid, wishing you could reach it with your mouth, but instead spitting on your other hand to work the hot hard flesh. The groan that was muffled from between your thighs told you he was enjoying it, and in return he slid a finger into you, stretching you, and you knew you were done for. 

 Your attention waived from him as he worked you closer and closer towards your orgasm, before he managed to curl his fingers just right and you were cumming over his face, his strong arm holding you to his mouth as you shook with pleasure. 

 Finally he carefully withdrew his fingers from you, lifting you so he could lay you head to foot on the bed beside him before resting one massive hand on your soft stomach as your breath came out in rapid pants, your heart racing. You felt the bed shift and the welcome touch of his warm hands parting your legs so he could crawl up your body, pressing open mouthed kisses to every spot he crossed. Eventually he reached your own lips, kissing you deeply, his tongue wide and strong and you could taste yourself as your own tongue danced with his. You could feel his hardness nestled against your folds, slipping against you as your bodies writhed together before he finally pushed himself up on his powerful arms;

 “Are you ready?”

 “Yes… please Henry…”

 Reaching down he took hold of himself and slid the tip up and down through your folds until you felt that delicious notch of his swollen crown resting at your entrance, he looked back to you;

 “I’ll go slow… just relax…”

 He started to push forwards, your velvet walls slowly parting as he filled you inch by delicious inch, your eyes going wider with each push. He tilted his hips and immediately found your g-spot, your eyes rolling back in their sockets and you let out a groan that would have rattled the glass in the windows had the building not been fitted with hurricane proof panes. You felt Henry’s soft lips press a kiss to your neck, his mouth moving gently over your skin as he spoke;

 “You feel like heaven Princess, taking me so well”

 “H-Henry… please…”

 “What Princess? Is it too much?”

 “NO! No, oh my god, please… please move… fuck me… fuck me like you mean it…”

 “Princess…” he warned

 “I can take it… I want it…”

 You looked into his eyes and saw a glint of concern, before a wide smile spread across his face;

 “You can, you’re a good girl…”

Pulling his hips back he pushed back in, parting your walls further and the feeling of being so full was almost indescribable. Sure, you’d had partners with big dicks in the past. Some with small dicks. But no-one that had ever been both long and as wide as Henry was. He wasn’t obscenely long, so there wasn’t the uncomfortable stabbing in the cervix, but every inch of his was thick and meaty, and you could feel him completely. Each thrust was becoming harder and faster, and soon he was wrapping one arm around your thigh to pull your legs open wider, tilting his hips so he could change the angle as he fucking railed you into the mattress, your fingers clawing at his back as you begged him for more and more. 

 The room faded around you, it was just you and Henry, the pleasure each other’s bodies were sharing with the other, feral grunts and moans as you felt pleasure like never before. You fitted together like two pristine pieces of a jigsaw, working together in unity. The rough brush of his chest hair against your hypersensitive nipples was yet another added stimulation, and with each rapid push and thrust your bodies rubbed together to bring you closer to your peak. You were trembling around him, your legs shaking where you were so close to orgasm. 

 He let go of your leg, now resting both hands either side of your body as he moved quicker, each thrust more powerful than the last, and with each push you had slid a little more along the bed, your head now hanging over the end and resting on the chaise lounge that sat there, the blood rushing to your brain giving you a head rush. You wrapped your legs around Henry’s waist, hooking one foot over another as you pressed them against his ripe ass. Your bodies were slick with sweat, and when you felt that tell-tale sign that your orgasm was starting a guttural moan emerged slowly through your throat.

 Your body shook with intense pleasure, you could feel for the very first time your internal muscles squeezing and massaging Henry’s massive girth within you, realising that you had never felt so complete.

As you rode out your orgasm Henry evened his thrusts out, and as your own pleasure was starting to ebb away it set off his own, his thick seed filling you as you felt him twitch and buck within you. You watched as he threw his head back and moaned your name, the smooth expanse of his neck aching for you to touch, and with the last ounce of strength you had you did just that and pressed an open mouthed kiss to his Adams Apple.

 With one final grunt you felt him twitch for the last time before his body relaxed, and those steel blue eyes met yours in the twilight of the room, your bodies only illuminated by the bright lights of the London night skyline. He shifted, moving one hand behind your head to support and cup it in his massive palm, the other resting on his elbow so your bodies were pressed together yet he wasn’t resting his entire weight atop of you. There were no words, the smiles on your faces told the other all the words your mouths couldn’t articulate. 

 The passing of time didn’t register in your mind, and it was only when Henry’s entire body did an involuntary shudder did you both come back to reality. Steadying himself on his arms he slowly pulled out of you, letting out a string of gentle ‘hoo-ha’s as the pull of your body against his over sensitive flesh was almost overwhelming for him. Kneeling on the bed he ran his hands over your thighs, warm against the now goose bumped skin and he pulled your legs apart slightly;

 “Wanna watch my cum drip out of you Princess”

 His hands rested on your inner thighs at the apex, his thumbs pulling apart your lips and you watched as he watched his thick seed slowly pool at your entrance. With one thumb he swiped it through the cum before spreading it over your swollen folds. He let out a grunt and moved, sliding an arm behind your back and helped you sit up, pressing his thumb to your lips which you eagerly took into your mouth, sucking on the thick pad as you tasted your combined essence on his salty skin. 

 “Let’s rest for a while before the next round” he muttered before kissing your cheek. 

 You nodded, muttering about needing to pee, and on wobbly legs you staggered to the bathroom like a new-born fawn.

Chapter 7 >>>

Chapter 6 notes:

In case you wanted to be nosey and see just how much Henry spent on their date:

Champagne:

https://thechampagnecompany.com/krug-1996-vintage-champagne-75cl-gift-box Restaurant at the Shard: https://www.the-shard.com/restaurants/aquashard/ Room at the Shard: https://www.shangri-la.com/london/shangrila/rooms-suites/suites/westminster-suite/

[cybernaght]

Lost Tomb Reboot aka Reunion: The Sound of Providence Season 2

I swear I wasn’t actually planning to write this thing, instead just opting for random picture spams of the season, starting with every time this show got Zhu Yilong’s Wu Xie wet, because that was a trend I had not expected and kind of lived for.

All that will still happen eventually, but here’s also my five cents on the season, because it is very very important for you to know just how worthy of love it is. 

You see, Season 1 was silly and fun, and definitely, undeniably, enjoyable. 

Then Season 2 swooped in, and completely won my heart. I cannot even express how much I adored it. Everything about this show is extremely extra in the best possible way; it is likely to have been the most charmingly over the top thing I have ever seen.

(Vague spoilers for : specific monsters, narratively significant moments, fate of the certain characters, including the protagonist.)

Some of it comes from the pace, which speeds up dramatically early in the season, and only slows down marginally to allow characters some breathing room. It’s not just gripping because it makes you want to hit play on the next episode, it also keeps you engaged because you can’t wait to see how the next wild set of events may be resolved and then topped. At about episode ten I was questioning how they could possibly produce a sense of further escalation. At episode twenty, I was wondering if anything can top dramatic impact of whatever was occurring only two thirds of the way through the season. 

I need not have worried: every single incredible character moment, every mind-boggling turn of the plot, every single bizarre threat would be blown out of water by the next one. 

Partly, this seemingly has to do with the writers attempts to ground the material. I am not sure what the novel contained, but I can discern that it was something along the lines of ghosts, ghouls and various supernatural circumstance. But when you are told  “this is a curse”, your reaction is naturally to go, “ah okay, so curses are a thing, and this is one of them, gotcha”. When you are told, “this is a heavy metal poisoning combined with a neurotoxin affecting the victim’s central nervous system and making them violently hallucinate”, your reaction is to question whether this is how metals, toxins, poisons, or, indeed, central nervous systems work in any version of reality. 

The show does this a lot. From human shaped swarms of killer moths, to flying brain-penetrating eels, to probably my favourite monster of the moment: the murder clams.

Seriously, I cannot stress enough that this show has murder clams. They move with their clam mussels. They jump with their clam shells. They will murder you in cold blood. 

There are ancient “laser corridor” style set-ups, there are shapes made out of fog recording its memory, there are group hallucinations generated by the sound of thunder, there are Mission Impossible style full face masks. There is a character who walked off a gun wound and sarin gas poisoning in order to die in the arms of his lover who looks like his dead sister. And by “looks like” I mean, “played by the same actress”. 

There is a whole character of Doctor Churros, who saves our hero from imminent death by washing his lungs with oil. 

This, I suppose, ultimately, is how The Lost Tomb Reboot (Season 2 in particular) lures you in. It turns what I saw as the show’s fault in season 1 into its biggest strength by establishing the world in which nothing is too outlandish and everything is possible. It so thoroughly breaks your expectations barometer, you grow to willingly accept whatever is thrown at you. 

The most beautiful thing about all of it, is that the fun and games and moments of barely controlled hysteria do not lower the stakes whatsoever. Moreover, somehow this show makes me believe that it could just about do something as irrevocable as, perhaps, killing off the protagonist 

You know how you can watch, say, a super hero film, and then the “all is lost” moment happens, and you kind of have to struggle to care because you know that they will pull through. It’s curious to see how that happens, but you don’t doubt for even second that it will. Well, when that moment arrived here, I found myself between ugly sobbing, and going into speculation overdrive to try and figure out how the Reboot would deal with that. By then I have seen that show be an high octave action movie, a supernatural mystery, a horror thriller, a buddy comedy and a spy flick: it was not a massive stretch to imagine it turning into a revenge tragedy.

Wu Xie dying had been building up since episode one, so you had hours and hours and oh-so-many hours to brace for it, and when the tragedy does not strike, the relief is visceral. 

Despite all the moments of hilarity (whether intended or otherwise), despite the chaotic turns of the plot, despite how utterly off the charts this show is tonally, when it matters, the narrative is pulled together in a way which not only makes complete sense within the world of the series, but is meticulously set-up, satisfying resolved, and delivers lovely emotional impact. Considering that the moral of the story is a very common “live in the moment”, paired up with “greed is bad”, it was surprising how much resonance its delivery actually created. 

Ultimately, however, this show is about found family, and, more specifically, about Wu Xie’s ability to create this family for himself and for every single member of it. He starts as one of the trio, and ends as one of a large group of old allies, new friends, and people he has graced with so much kindness that they follow him until the bitter end. 

Lost Tomb Reboot ensures that you get to know them all, and it’s pretty damn hard to not love this misfit group of adventurers in its entirety. 

(The only thing I could say is that I wish the series spent more time making sure the viewer knows and likes Zhang Qiling, but it seemingly had little purpose for him apart form sweeping in as an avenging angel every now and then. I get that he is a well established character in the series, and that his whole thing is being deadly and enigmatic, but considering that you got to know the other two legs of the famous Triangle so well, it’s a shame that this one was reserved to mostly being Xiao Ge Ex Machina. It would have been nice to know what he was about apart from “really damn cool”.)

Bai Haotian remained my favourite character. She is cute, sweet, romantic, and, for the lack of a better word, “girly”. She is not shy about her crush on Wu Xie, and is prepared to do a lot of reckless, dangerous things for him. None of the above undermine her intelligence, cunningness and authority. Xiao Bai is a young woman in a position of power, and she absolutely knows how to handle herself; for every time she is a damsel in distress, she gets to be the rescuer. For every time she puts herself in needless danger, she learns to collect herself and plan ahead. For every time she is bossed around, she turns and takes charge. Her journey is not the centred around getting the guy, but around discovering her self-assertion; she finds her place within his team not by being a romantic interest, but through her personal strengths. 

My absolutely favourite moment for her came when an antagonist used her affection for Wu Xie to get an upper hand on her, and she gets restrained, knife to her throat. Xiao Bai swivels away, knocks the attacker out and goes to town kicking him, to a great astonishment of this team, as she states that liking someone does not make her weak. 

And it doesn’t. Being in love has nothing to do with weakness or strength. Being a young, and excitable, and a woman does not equate to weakness either.

I’m not saying that this show is a feminist manifesto, because it is definitely not that. Every other prominent female character suffers a pitiful fate in service of creating motivation for the men of the story. But it does spend a lot of time making sure you, the viewer, know its heroes well enough to mentally befriend them. And if this means giving the female lead complexity, I cannot possibly be mad at that. 

So, this was it. This was the Lost Tomb Reboot. It brought me a ridiculous amount of joy and I will miss it a lot. 

And yes, the picture spams will be 100% an excuse to rewatch at least some of it. 

PS. Said spams miiiiight be gif based if I figure out a way to colour correct the damn things. 

[popatochisssp]

I need memes for the new boys. Meme me, Poppy. Meme me.

As always, I am ashamed at how well-equipped I am to answer this question...

Meme Fluent: Ash (Undergloom Sans), Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus), Sunny (Gastertale Sans)

Can At Least Ask Where The Bathroom Is In Meme: Brick (Horrorfell Sans), Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus), Aster (Gastertale Papyrus)

Meme-blivious: Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus), King (Horrorfell Papyrus), Merc (Horrorswap Sans), Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans)

Ash (Undergloom Sans): Very savvy and up on all the most popular memes, scrolling through memes is an activity very low on the ‘activity’ part and great for when he’s feeling a little too tired to do anything else. He’s very into tiktoks, which help him keep up to date on the latest meme songs-- some of which he might try to learn to play on his own. In general, he’s also into memes with funny or weird-looking animals (frogs, possums, axolotls, etc), no specific kind of meme, the presence of a goofy-looking creature in it is usually good enough to get a smile or a chuckle out of him.

Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): Not all that up to date on the meme scene, he’s usually busy with other things... but! He really loves relatable memes, especially ones about procrastination or not being able to focus on work or having to do chores, everyday mundane irritations that everybody can relate to! He also thinks reading comprehension errors are great harmless fun (i.e., “my bad i thought u said moths”), just silly misunderstandings that make for confusing interactions until someone realizes.

Brick (Horrorfell Sans): Doesn’t always remember every meme, but he gets the gist of most of them. His favorites are the MS Paint memes, usually the more poorly drawn, the better (but a fan of pretty much every catcrumb image he sees, those chaotic little cats are great). He can also be caught laughing himself to wheezing and banging on the table over completely bizarre and out of context interactions--for some reason, they just hit right on the funny bone and he has no defense against them. (The ‘Nyquil Detroit Become Liquid’ post nearly killed him, but he would’ve thanked it.)

King (Horrorfell Papyrus): Not too interested in memes. He’s peripherally aware of them but rarely knows the latest trends or cares to know them. He does have a slight fondness for evil memes--ones about being evil or having an evil lair or just have the word ‘evil’ as an adjective in front of something else seemingly incongruous--he finds them silly and they can usually win at least a smirk out of him when he happens to come across one. If you want a laugh, though, find him some of those screenshots of old newspapers from the 30s-50s, formally written humor that still holds up even now (like The Windsor Star, Ontario, November 1, 1958, The Cincinnati Enquirer, Ohio, February 21, 1947, or Barnard Bulletin, New York, December 20, 1935). Sensible chuckles abound from those!

Merc (Horrorswap Sans): Not too into memery, he’s definitely got a lot of other things going on and isn’t always online. Still, he is a fan of stuff like one-time-i-dreamt and other accounts of peoples’ dreams or thought processes. He thinks it’s interesting, the little peek into the wandering, strange, and sometimes funny subconscious, or how people think about love and tenderness and nostalgia and remind others to appreciate those things, too. It’s a very niche, wholesome sort of enjoyment for sure... but not to worry! If you’re looking for something more mainstream and ‘haha funny,’ he also got very into the whole ‘Surprise! It’s cake!’ meme trend that was going on for awhile and is still delighted to find a video where a realistic object is cut into and turns out to be cake. He’s definitely going to make one himself, maybe as a social media marketing thing for his home business...

Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus): Very meme savvy and tends toward some of the maybe darker types of humor--stress and anxiety memes, introvert memes, et cetera. Animated text is a big one he likes, with enough of a mix of pessimist and optimist memes that he doesn’t come away from checking it actually bummed out or feeling bad, a fine line to walk to be sure. He also likes coding and programming humor! He’s still kinda teaching himself, so he definitely doesn’t get them all, but it gives him a little sense of accomplishment and community when he does, which he really likes.

Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans): Not interested in memes, and a lot of them are heavily based on visuals which, unfortunately, he’s going to miss the context. Still, he does get a hell of a kick out of brazen and blatant misinformation--the smooth sharks post, facts-i-just-made-up, and the like--and finds it hilarious when someone insists something that is obviously untrue, especially if a lot of people aren’t getting the joke and are trying fervently to convince them of their wrongness. He’s also a little bit evil, so whenever he learns a new piece of whatever slang is popular and in at the moment, he’s going to use it incorrectly, or use outdated slang to induce cringe in those around him. ‘Totes yeet yo’? Yes. ‘That is so pog, as the kids say’? Of course. ‘It’s lit, fam’? Definitely, who do you take him for? The cringier, the better, he revels in the discomfort of others when he throws one of those babies out.

Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus): Definitely knows a little bit about memes, not always the latest trends but his base knowledge is pretty good, and of course has his favorites. He loves John Mulaney references and reaction images, they just Speak to him, y’know? Outside of that, he’s very fond of day-of-the-week memes, Tuesday Again?, Out of Touch Thursday, Fat Fuck Friday and so on. Aside from being a useful reminder of what the hell day of the week it is, he likes the consistency and recurrence of it, just a silly little moment to look forward to at some point like, “oh yeah, it’s el muchacho monday, nice!”

Sunny (Gastertale Sans): Pretty wise to the meme scene overall, loves the fun and creativity of it all. If you want him to absolutely lose his shit, though, show him a terrible picture of an animal--by which I mean, poorly photoshopped, blurred, in mid-panoramic, as long as the end result is an absurd or very screwed up image. Why are things like ‘buff half cat’ and ‘dog but very, very long’ his sense of humor? He has no idea, but the worse it looks, the harder he laughs. He has a bit of a fondness for ‘gotcha’s too, like a Rickroll but really anything where you go into it expecting one thing, and get trolled by receiving something else. (If Megalovania memes were a thing in his universe, he would be all over them, if that gives you an idea of the kind of gag he thinks is funny!)

Aster (Gastertale Papyrus): Aware of memes, but not all that invested in them. He likes corporate and office/business memes a lot-- the kind that roast bosses and unnecessary meetings, translate ‘polite’ corporate phrases, anything to do with emails--because they can be very relatable. He also likes seeing screencaps of people on Facebook or Twitter getting dragged for misinformation, or trying to act like a pompous jerk and getting shredded (for legitimate reasons of course, not just random unprovoked cyberbullying). He...may be involved in a bit of that sometimes himself: he may not be working in a scientific field, but he is half of a scientist, and just petty enough to spend a few hours of his free time looking up and reading through a few credible sources to cite in a strong and well-crafted rebuttal argument if someone is being especially, dangerously wrong about something. Not everyone has the time and resources to do it, so why shouldn’t he? 😇

[lilchibi-chan]

Hawks Mafia! AU x Reader

Part 2. Here is part 1 and thanks so much for the support on the first post.

It’s the next morning and you wake up around 10:30. You decided to call your boss and inform her about what happened last night and that you would most likely be taking some time off. She was very understanding and told you to take as much time as you needed. She was still willing to pay you the same amount for the time you would eventually miss. You thank her for her kindness and she informs you that it’s no problem at all and she thinks of you as one of her own.

You had started working at the diner to help pick up what financial aid didn’t pay for and you were set on quitting after you graduated, but you couldn’t find the heart to leave. You grew to love the people that came in and your boss. You’ve even spent holidays with her the times you couldn’t get home. You start thinking about all the memories you have working at the diner and suddenly your phone rings. It’s Hawks.

“Hello,” you say, a small hint of tiredness still in your voice

“Mornin’ baby bird,” he says so happily that you can basically see his smile on your side of the phone

“Morning,” you say, a yawn escaping your mouth

“So what’re you doing right now,” he asks, genuinely curious

“Well I was about to get a cup of coffee and make myself something to eat,”

“Well how about instead of doing that, I kidnap you and take you out to eat,” he says, pleased with himself

You smile and let a small laugh escape your mouth.

“I would love that, but I’m not even close to being dressed.”

You take a look at the clock and its 11:15

You take a moment to think about it and think that this could be a good thing.

“How soon will you be here” you ask 

“Look out your window, humming bird”

You go to your window and open the curtain. You see him, standing outside his car, which is below your window.

“How-when-”

“Don’t worry about it, baby bird. Just go get ready and I’ll see you when you get down here”

“How should I dress”

“For brunch”

He hangs up right after and you go through your closet trying to figure out what to wear.

You finally decide on a white mock neck bodysuit, light wash skinny jeans and a pair of nude patent leather pumps.

You quickly shower and get dressed, then put on light makeup. You grab a jacket just in case and your purse and head down to meet Hawks.

He smiles as soon as you walk out and rushes over to help you down the stairs. Once you make it down, he walks with you to the car, still hand in hand and opens the door for you.

“Such a gentleman,” you say, somewhat mockingly

“Only when I need to be,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders and a cocky smile, that you can’t help but smile back in response to

“So where are you taking me,” you ask curious

“It’s a surprise” he says with a side smile

“Don’t worry baby bird. You’ll see soon enough”

With that, he drives off. After 15 minutes, he pulls up in front of a hotel. He opens the door for you to exit the car and puts a hand out for you. You take his hand and you enter the gorgeous hotel. He walks straight in past reception and walks to the restaurant that is on the same floor as the lobby.

The host automatically escorts you both to a private room and your mind starts to wander. You figured he was rich and in some type of position of power, but you were still unsure of how much he actually possessed.

After the host leaves you two, Hawks pulls out a chair for you to sit down. You thank him and take a seat. After pushing you in, he takes his and hands you a menu.

As your analyzing the menu, you can’t stop thinking about Hawks and what he does. You wanna know more about him, but you also don’t wanna pry if he’s not open to talking about it.

“What’s going on, baby bird? I see those wheels turning in your head,” he says with a smirk

“Ya know for a guy, you’re quite observant”

“I have to be. Ya never know with people. You always gotta watch your back. Especially in a position of power”

“W-what do you do exactly,” you ask, piggybacking off of what he just said,“I noticed when we walked in that you were treated like literal royalty and when you would come to the diner I noticed your clothes were a lot nicer and clean cut than most of the business men that would come in. I figured you had a lot of money, but judging from the way you were treated,it’s more than I initially thought.”

“Well, I “do” a few things. As a matter of fact, I own this hotel. I also own a couple more around the country, we’re looking to expand to others. I have a few businesses I run. Fashion, modeling, and marketing. You could say I’m a man of many talents,” he says with a cocky smirk

You let out a small laugh and the waiter comes in with champagne and some food. He places a plate in front of you with pancakes, eggs, bacon and some syrup on the side. As well as some apple juice, just in case you didn’t want the champagne.

“I ordered ahead for us. I hope you’re okay with your order,” he says hopefully

“It’s fine,” you say smiling

It was a huge plate of food, but you were starving so you were gonna be able to at least finish half and have some for later at home.

Once you both finished at brunch, Hawks took your hand and you both walked out together to his car. He has a very gentle touch when holding your hand. Almost as if, you’re the most precious,fragile thing he could ever hold. Like one small move and you’ll break instantly.

You didn’t even notice, but you were staring at your hands together.

His touch was warm and his hands were soft, despite their rough and manly looking appearance.

You start to admire the details of his hand and the rings he had on.

He let go of your hand, which snapped you out of your trance.

He opens the door for you, then proceeds to the other side of the car as he usually does.

He’s about to pull off, but receives a phone call.

“Hello,” he says stern

The warmth that once filled his was now gone and there was a cold look in his face. Judiging from that, you were convinced what he was just told wasn’t good in the slightest bit.

“Baby bird, I have to drop you home. Something came up at the office and that I need to take care of like right now. I’m so sorry,”

“I could go with you. It’s not I really had anything planned for today,” you say, trying to brighten his mood

He softly smiles at you

“Today’s not really the best day and I’d much rather show you around when I’m in a better mood. How about...I bring you some dinner tonight? Let’s say 8?,” he asks hopefully

“That’s fine,” you say smiling

He kisses your hand

“Thanks, hummingbird. I won’t be late. I promise,” he says, gripping your hand a bit tighter

He drives off and takes you home. He watches as you enter your building, just as he did last night.

He pulls off and makes his way to his office....

Or so you thought

Meanwhile with Hawks

He makes it to a warehouse that’s an hour outside of the city. He made sure to turn his phone off, so that he wouldn’t be found by anyone.

He enters

“Where’s the fucker at,” he asks fuming

“Right inside,sir” Tokoyami says, following Hawks as he makes his way further inside the warehouse

Hawks walks further in and there he is, hand cuffed to a chair.

“Nice to see you, Twice”

He says nothing

“Aww, cat gotcha tongue...don’t worry, we’ll change that,” Hawks says with a menacing smile

He takes off his rings and puts them onto a silver platter that Tokoyami held out for him.

He picks up a steel rod and starts swinging it around,feeling its weight in his hand.

“So Twice, I heard from a little bird, that you’ve been trying to steal my inventory and trying to embezzle money from my company. The funniest part about this is you thought I wouldn’t find out.”

“Ya know if I wasn’t hand cuffed to this fucking chair right now, I could kick your ass,” he says with a smile

Hawks laughs

“Ya know Twice, you would be a better boss if you weren’t so FUCKING sloppy. I mean c’mon. You’ve been in the game longer than I have and you pull something as stupid as trying to steal from me. It’s honestly embarrassing”

He runs a hand through his hair.

“Twice, I’m a nice guy. I really am, so here’s what I’ll do. I’m gonna let you off with a warning.”

He lifts up the steel rod and cracks Twice in the knee.

“Try that shit again and I will break both of your legs or kill you, depends on how generous I’m feeling...Shadow, get him out of here”

Tokoyami does what he’s told and uncuffs Twice’s hands and feet from the chair. He drags him to the back door of the warehouse and throws him out.

“So what now sir,” Tokoyami asks curious

“Now, we prepare for war. Twice isn’t gonna back down that easy just because I threatened him. He’s gonna use whatever he can to get me and what I’ve built. He wants to be number one and he’ll stop at nothing. Little does he know, I’m one tough bastard and I’m gonna fight for what’s mine. Call everyone and have them meet at the house in an hour.”

“But sir, it takes an hour to get back in the city and it’s rush hour by now so-“

“So it should be no problem for everyone to get there on time. Now go call them”

“Yes sir”

With that, Tokoyami exits the warehouse to call the rest of the members.

Hawks makes his way to his car and drives back to the city to make it to his penthouse.

He ends up beating everyone there, but he did drive a little above the speed limit and took some shortcuts he knew, that way he wouldn’t be stopped by police on his way there.

He takes the elevator that only he has access to and goes straight to his penthouse.

He pours himself some scotch as soon as he gets in. He doesn’t usually drink much, but today warranted one. A stiff drink at that.

Soon there were knocks at his door.

“C’mon in boys,” he says, drink in hand

“I’m sure Shadow already briefed on the situation at hand. We’ve dealt with some pretty rough bastards before, but none of them compare to Twice. As I said to Shadow, he’ll use whatever he can to get to me, my business and people I care about. Make sure to never have your guard down and protect yourselves. Brief everyone on your location before and after you leave. I may be hard on you guys, but I’m not gonna lose any of you to him just cause we were ill prepared.”

“You got it boss. Ain’t nothin gonna get past the great King,” Bakugou says

“Yeah boss, we’re the manliest that you’ve got,” Kirishima says

“I knew I could count on you, King and Red”

“M-me too boss. I know I look weak, but I won’t let anyone or anything get to you, us or the people you care about,” Deku says

“Thanks, Deku. I never thought of you as weak by the way. I don’t judge a book because anyone is capable of anything.”

“R-right,” Deku says

Everyone else agrees to follow Hawks’ orders and to be extra vigilant in the coming days. They couldn’t make stupid mistakes. Although Twice is injured, he still has skilled assassins under his thumb and one slip up could cause anyone’s demise.

After everyone leaves, he decides to shower and wash the day off of him. He lets the hot water flow down his body, almost as if it was melting ice off of him. His mind drifted to you and he smiled, but that smile quickly faded when he realized the life he was bring you into and what would happen if Twice ever found out about you and where you live.

He couldn’t tell you about this side of him. He knew you would view him as a monster. This lifestyle was basically an unforgivable one that ended a lot of his relationships in the past. He knew there would come a day when he would have to fess up eventually, but that day wasn’t going to be today. He wants to be able to live in the happy moments he has with you and make them last as long as he can.

Picture 1: Human Tokoyami by ChigoPlush on DeviantArt

Picture 2 by Kiro_Tktr

Hope y’all enjoyed!! I know it’s super long, but I figured I owe you guys that, being that it took so long to come out. Thank y’all for the support on this new fanfic and I’m also wondering if we should give it an actual name. Leave me a comment or reblog with what you think the name should be, if there should be a name.

Tag list: @rozebudx @cpaperheart

[homogrimoire-archive]

Kingfield's Fourth Anniversary - Day 1

Just An Urban Legend

Feng, David, Dwight, and Jake find themselves at the fire together after a trial. Stories from back home are exchanged to pass the time, and some of those stories manage to find their way into the trials.

AO3 Link

This time around, it was Dwight, Jake, David, and Feng around a fire. They all had finished a trial some time ago, Dwight and David were with a different set of survivors, and Feng and Jake from another set as well. Jake was contently resting on the outskirts of the camp, Dwight and David were leaning against each other by the fire to keep even more warm, and Feng was sitting on a log bored out of her mind.

She really didn’t like this place. Its not like she was ever particularly outdoorsy. Sure, she had her smartphone, which miraculously never died, but it was entirely useless. No offline games on it, no music, and the clock was obsolete in a place where time didn’t matter. The flash didn’t stun killers, and throwing it at them just made them angry more than anything.

Still, she held onto it. A piece of home. All of them had something from home they kept on themselves. For Jake, it was a well used Swiss Army Knife, an expensive and genuine one at that. For Dwight, it was his old wristwatch. Apparently, he had it since forever. It looked as old. And for David, it was a roll of sports bandages. It never seemed to run out, despite how much he used it.

“I’m bored. Any of you got any stories?” she eventually asked since she figured the others would like to kill the time too.

“Hmmm… ” Dwight contemplated. Feng noticed that David patiently awaited his boyfriend’s response. How someone could manage to fall in love here was beyond her.

“I saw bigfoot once.”

“No you didn’t.” Jake quickly protested as he shot up from where he slept. “It was probably an emaciated bear, or some guy in a suit, or a trick of the light with some branches or something.” He then promptly went back to lying down.

“Yeesh mate, how long’ve you been holdin’ that one in?” David wondered.

“I just have very strong strong and very right opinions on dumb myths like that.” he rationalized.

“Well it’s true!” Dwight pouted. “I was working as a janitor for this huge park and this kid got lost in the woods so they arranged a search party. I went to help after my shift with a co-worker. We were searching for hours, and it was getting dark, so we decided to head back. Keep it one missing person instead of making it three, you know? So, we were on our way back when we heard this terrifying scream! It was like something I’d expect to hear here, honestly. So me and my co-worker are scared shitless. We’re back to back with our flashlights looking around to see if we can find the thing. And just when we think we’re kinda safe, I turn my light to see two glowing eyes staring right at me and the outline of a huge man.”

“No!” Feng says, almost in disbelief.

“Yes! I scream and cling onto my coworker, and then he sees it and screams, and we trip over ourselves and fumble as we run away, still screaming like little girls!” Dwight laughed. “No joke though, it had to have been at least twice as tall as me.”

“What you heard was probably a cougar, or some other large cat. Or some animals mating. Those things are freaks.” Jake shuddered. He heard animals getting it on more times than he would have ever liked to.

“Well, I know what I saw, or my name’s Aloiscious the Third! And its not.” the honest man proudly stated.

“…Whatever.” Jake sighed.

“Well, I believe you, luv.” David comforted with a kiss to his cheek.

“Thanks David.” Dwight cooed as he leaned back into his boyfriend.

“You know, I saw something’ kinda scary too when I was a kid.” David mentioned. “Not so scary now, but that’s kinda expected.”

“I’m down to hear it. Fire away, champ.”

“It began on a dark night. Me ‘n some blokes were bored and decided to pay a visit to an abandoned church.”

“You know how cliché that sounds, right?” Dwight questioned.

“And wanderin’ to the woods at night ain’t?” David fired back.

“…Touché.”

“Anyhow, we were walkin’ up to the place when we saw the thing. It was a Black Dog. Thing was guardin’ the place of course. Pry thought we were gonna tear it up, so it howled bloody murder and ran straight for us barkin’ like it was rabid!” David laughed at the memory. “Needless t’say, our arses were humbled for a few good days.”

“You saw a feral black dog? I guess that’s kinda scary.” Feng commented. She liked Dwight’s story better.

“Yeah… Could be scarier.” Dwight admitted.

“Wasn't just any ol’ bloody black dog, A Black Dog. Guess you lot might not know what they are. Legend says the first buried at a churchyard had t’guard it ‘gainst the devil. Since no one wanted to be the poor sod stuck doin’ that, people buried a dog first. Then again, could’ve just been a regular ol’ demonic black dog. Lot more of those furry bastards.”

“I could believe that.” Dwight conceded.

“Yeah. If I’m remembering correctly, there are tons of spirits and a ton of different types back home. I never really bothered to learn about it though.” she nonchalantly admitted. It never really interested her. “But, this one gaming cafe I was staying at did have a legend around it. Supposedly, a guy solo queued nonstop and died there. Sounds like a noob if you ask me. Honestly, he wasn’t even Top 500. He wasn’t even Grandmaster!” she laughed, and then saw David and Dwight looking at her in confusion. “Oh wait, you’re all kinda old huh? Guy played alone in a team based video game nonstop, and died. He wasn’t even that good at the game.”

“Ah.”

“That makes a bit more sense.” David said gratefully. Things could get rather confusing when you had friends from a few decades ahead or behind you.

“So anyways, legend has it that if you sat in the chair he died in, his spirit would possess you, and you’d get his skills. But, you’d also game yourself to death like him.”

“Did you ever sit in his chair?” Dwight wondered.

“Pft, and gain the skills of a noob like him and get wrecked? As if! I might as well have went AFK for a week. I had some juicy Prestige to keep up you know.”

Before they could pester Jake for a story, the Fog began to roll in.

“Aw shit, here we go again .” Feng said as she rolled her eyes.

“Ain’t no rest for the wicked, huh? See you guys there.” Dwight said with a wave. With his other hand, he still held onto David despite knowing the Fog would separate them regardless. They had all worked together before, so Dwight didn’t need to explain a plan of action.

“I hope it’s one a them Legion bastards. Love seein’ ‘em lose.” David grinned, sure they would have a successful trial. He gave Dwight a kiss on the cheek in celebration of the impending victory, making the shorter man blush.

“As long as we survive, I don’t care who we're up against.” Jake said as he threw in an offering, hoping it would land them in the forest. “See you all on the other side.” And with a salute, they were whisked away.

-

The Fog cleared to reveal the Red Forest. Dwight knew that somewhere, Jake was happy. He just hoped the Huntress wasn’t here this time. She was far too efficient on her home turf. Dwight wandered shortly before coming across a generator to work on. Surprisingly, he managed to complete it before something happened. Based on the scream, David was hooked. But thankfully, he wasn’t too far away from him.

Sneakily, Dwight made his way over to the hook, keeping an eye out for this trial’s killer. In a close call, he saw the eldest Legion member passed right by him. Dwight let out a sigh of relief once he was in the clear, and then rushed to David.

“My knight in shining armour’s come t’rescue me, has he?” David chuckled, but instantly regretted it and winced from the pain of the hook.

“You can thank me later. Come on, let’s go!”

“Oh, I will~” David said smugly.

“You’re terrible…” Dwight said in a restrained voice, not wanting to reveal his anticipation and spurn the other man.

Eventually, it came to the last generator, and Dwight ended up being the one to keep the Legionnaire busy.

“Come out come out wherever you are! Don’t worry, I bite!” the young man teased. Dwight tried to keep calm as he hid in the locker. Slowly, the legionnaire passed by the lockers, dragging his knife across the metal doors.

“Gotcha!” he steamed as he yanked open a locker door, revealing it to be empty. “Fucker…” he cursed as he slammed the thing shut. “Now where could he have gone?” he wondered as he idled in front of the locker Dwight was hiding in.

“How about… Here!” he screamed as he opened the locker Dwight was in, causing him to scream in turn. “HA HA HA! Classic!” the Legionnaire rejoiced as he tossed Dwight over his shoulder.

Dwight tried to break free, but was unable too. The closest hook was nearby, leaving him with not enough time.

“Alright, let’s hear you scream again!” the killer announced with eager anticipation. But just before setting Dwight on the vile contraption, there was a roar that seemed to shake the area. “What the fuck was that? What the fuck is that?” he said once he caught a glimpse of the roar’s source. Dwight saw it too, a tall thing with glowing eyes.

“Hmm?” the killer hummed, and brought up his free hand to the side of his face like it was a phone. “… Really? … Alright, alright! I get it! Sheesh… Consider it done, boss.” the killer said and hung up, and threw Dwight to the ground. For a moment, he thought he was about to get mori’d.

Instead, he got a kick to the dick and a boot to the face as the killer ran off laughing joyously. Meanwhile, Dwight curled up into a ball as he clutched his groin. A few moments later, he got up and hobbled away. A terrible experience, but better than being mori’d. When he reached the group, they had just finished the last generator, sounding off to let the killer know as well.

“Shite, wot happ’ned to ya?” David fretted as he immediately went to Dwight’s side, the deep bruise on his face and funny walk evident. “I swear, I’ll find a way to make the bastard pay!”

“Well, a kick to the dick and face. I’ll live. But, something else happened, something odd.” Dwight began. Then, they felt the heartbeat, letting them know the killer was near. Then, something passed then, something neither survivor nor killer.

“Get back here so I can skin you alive! Papa needs a new pimp coat!” the Legionnaire giggled.

“Hey, watch this pro strat!” Feng told the other survivors. “360 no scope!” she announced with a twirl, and tossed her phone. It flew in the direction of the killer, just so happening to land in front of him. He stepped on it, and slid head first into a tree. A crack formed on the mask as he groaned.

“Suck it!” Feng taunted as she brought her hands to her hips as she thrusted outwards. The others celebrated with her. This was the most fun she had in a long time.

“You little bitch! I’ll-” he began, but was cut off with a swift knee to the dick. He let out a long, high pitched squeal as he slowly crumpled to the floor, clutching his family jewels.

The thing had come back to help out. It gave a thumbs up. They all knew what that thing was now that it was in front of them.

“Nice.” David said as he gave it a thumbs up in return before it ran away again. Dwight looked at Jake with a shit-eating grin once it had left, and they were on their way to the exit gate.

“Okay, you know this doesn’t count!”

“Gotta take the L, my guy.” Feng said as she patted Jake on the back.

Back at the campfire, Dwight recounted what happened, to the shared anger and surprise of the others.

"Least that bigfoot bloke seems like a good fellow. Has my respect."

"I hope we see him again. He seemed cool." Feng hoped. It would be something to spice up life in hell.

"And what do you think, Jake?" Dwight smugly asked.

"I refuse to acknowledge that thing." he simply stated. Dwight let out a little laugh that David found cute.

But, to the surprise of everyone, the Fog rolled in. It never rolled on so soon after a completed trial.

"Oh come on! We just finished one, you bastard!" David yelled out.

“It’s probably because of what happened last round.” Dwight sighed. None of them were in terrible condition or overly exhausted, but still. It would have been nice to have a longer break.

“I’m sure we’ll do fine like last time.” Jake assured.

“I just hope it’s not that doctor. He really creeps me out.” Feng said. The others agreed, and were taken by the Fog.

On the other side, they found themselves in a warm climate, a ghost town in the wild west. Dwight and Feng found themselves spawned near each other, and were quick to get working on a generator. As it neared completion, their hearts hastened as they heard the fear-inducing lullaby of The Huntress.

She was unbothered by the vastly different environment. She sniffed the air, and snapped her head in the direction of the generator. An axe was readied, and thrown in the direction of the generator.

“Run!” Dwight yelled as the generator announced its completion. An axe buried itself in the spot where he was. Feng was faster than him, so Dwight found himself the target of the killer once more. He cursed being fun to chase. He noticed that for some reason, the Huntress particularly liked to hunt him. He didn’t want to dwell on why.

He was eventually axed and downed in a single hit. He screamed when she yanked it out, revealing that its iridescent red color didn’t just come from his blood. She scooped him up in her arms and held him like a baby, resuming her song to try and comfort him. He tried to wiggle free, but it was harder than it looked. Sometimes, he wondered if the Entity even gave her any supernatural strength. He wouldn't be surprised if she didn’t. He was soon on the hook in a basement, crying in pain. She stood there for a moment to admire her work, or something, before leaving.

Dwight knew to wait for someone to unhook him. It was safer, even more so with David around. But basements were a more dangerous place to be when the Huntress was involved. She always seemed to know when someone was there. He figured that another generator or two had to be finished by the time he heard someone approaching. It generated a spark of hope that quickly dissipated as he heard her song.

And down the stairs came Feng, a wound in her shoulder, also in her arms like a baby too. As she screamed on the hook, the Huntress also winced, muttering something unintelligible before leaving.

“Hey Feng…”

“Hey…”

“How- Ack!” he cried as the hook moved a little in him.

“Fine.” she sighed, already knowing his question. “Two more gens. … I hate this place.”

“Yeah…”

They waited for a rescuer in the ambient silence of the basement. With two left, it would be easy to lure the Huntress far from the basement so they could be saved. Their hopes rose and fell, just as before. She came down singing with David slung over her shoulder. One of his arms appeared to be wounded.

“Fockin’ bitch!” he screamed as she tossed him onto the hook and left without a second glance at him. “I swear ’m gonna- Argh!” he yelled as the hook dug into him as we squirmed.

“Okay, let’s just, keep calm. Wait a few moments, and then we’ll try to free ourselves.”

“As you say luv.” David agreed. Feng hummed in agreement as well.

“So, how’s it hangin?” he dared to ask after waiting a little bit.

“Ughhh, you did not just say that.” Feng groaned.

“David, I swear!”

“Sorry…”

“You’re lucky I love you. Alright, on the count of three guys. One… Two… Three!” Dwight yelled as they tried to unhook themselves. Each of them failed, screaming in pain as they fell right back onto the hook, Entity’s claws showing up to induce more fear.

“It’s okay guys. It’s- It’s alright.” Dwight said, trying to sound calm himself even though he was not, panting, sweating, and a few tears breaking free. He didn’t want to feel that emptiness that even love could not stave away. Neither did the others. Then, the last generator sounded completion. A few moments later, Jake came hurrying down the stairs. The Huntress would surely be there soon.

He unhooked David first, who unhooked Dwight with one arm as Jake got Feng. They didn’t even bother to heal, not that it mattered when she could one shot them into dying this trial. But at the top of the steps she awaited. With a hunter’s cry, she threw an axe down the stairs, the survivors narrowly dodging it. Still, she sang her song and grinned a mad smile

Just when she was about to lunge at them, she shifted to block an attack from something. It was a dog. It chomped right through her axe handle. She wasn’t singing anymore. She quickly retaliated with a headbutt, knocking it away. She cast aside her broken axe with a snarl and lunged at the other beast. They wrestled each other to the ground, aiming for each other’s throats. Seeing their chance, the survivors took it and ran.

“I thought you said those things were demons?!” Dwight questioned as David carried him in one arm.

“Most a ‘em! The church ones ain’t the only ones to do protectin’.”

“Who cares! Let’s just hurry up and escape!” Jake yelled as he led the way.

They soon reached an exit gate and hurried to unlock it. About a third of the way through, they heard an animalistic yet human roar. She had won. Around her mouth was black blood. But, she did not come out unscathed. She bore many scratches, a number of them deep and flowing with dark red blood. Even half of her mask was broken, revealing a red iris surrounded by black.

“Come on come on hurry up!” Feng shouted at the switch as she ran towards them, laughing maniacally with an axe in hand. Their hearts were pounding, the knowledge that at least one of them was probably going to die about to set in. Jake took out the flash light to try and stun her, but fumbled and dropped it.

And out of nowhere, she was knocked to the ground by a blur of black. It was the black dog again. It was on top of her, and then in one swift motion, she was on top, and tore out it's throat with her bare hands. She tossed aside the flesh and fur and resumed her true hunt. She was only a few feet away when she fell forward, the dog’s maw mangling her ankle. She let out a scream as she tried to hit it with her axe, but missed. Then the alarm sounded and the gate opened.

“Go, go, go!” Jake ushered.

“Wait!” David shouted, and switched Dwight for Jake’s flashlight. He ran back, and aimed the light at the Huntress as she thrashed about. Once she was blinded, David whistled for the dog and patted his thigh to usher it to come.  It did, and ran beside David as they ran through the exit gate to the safety of the campfire.

David and Dwight laughed in celebration, the dog rejoicing with them. Feng breathed a sigh of relief as Jake mended her wound.

“Wanna refuse to acknowledge this one?” David joked as he ruffled the dog’s thick, dark fur. Jake finished patching up Feng, and went to go patch up David while Feng took care of Dwight

“Refuse to acknowledge what?” he asked, playing dumb. “There’s no such thing as a Black Dog, just black dogs.” Just as he was about to apply something to David’s arm, the dog growled at him, causing him to back away. The others lightly laughed.

“Alright, fine! … It’s real.” Jake told the dog. It seemed content with being acknowledged, so it let Jake do his work, proceeding to rest at David’s feet.

“So, what can you tell us about your dog, King?” Feng asked.

“Hmm… their name is Heir, being heir to the King’s throne an’ all. Fights like a King too!” he praised he he ruffled the dog's fur.

“You mean we’re keeping them?” Dwight asked with a bright smile.

“Well, I hope so.” David said as he continued to pet it. “Don’t think Heir’ll be goin’ to trials though. Pry for the best.”

“Aww, so cute! C’mere!” Dwight called. It got up and went to sit before Dwight. He let the dog sniff his hand, and it licked it before ploping back down in front of David. “Oh my god they like me!” Dwight squealed, looking like he was about to cry.

“‘Know I said most were demons. A few are good, like this little bloke ‘ere!” he praised as he scratched behind its ear, which it seemed to like. “Either protect a church, or guide the wayward. Fittin’.”

The Entity seemed to be willing to allow them the repose, since it didn’t quickly call them into a trial. Even after the next trial the dog remained by the fire, awaiting David’s return. If David were out in a trial, Dwight would oft find the dog at his feet, lounging around. The big, dark furball comforted other survivors after dreary trials, even if it too could not dissipate that empty feeling.

And even so, the trials soon became much more lively, as did the times round the fire

[angst-fairygodmother]

Light Fingers (The Umbrella Academy)

Diego’s vigilantism brings him repeatedly across the path of a young cat burglar. But as he finds himself developing feelings for the thief, he begins to wonder if there’s more to her than meets the eye, and whether they’re really on opposite sides. And as their relationship deepens, it brings with it a plot involving his estranged adopted father, and threatens to destroy all of them.

CHAPTER 1: CAT AND MOUSE

Word Count: 2406 Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Reader Warnings: Canon-typical violence Rating: T Cross-posted to AO3: here

Masterlist

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Twenty minutes. Maybe more, if the neighbors were particularly unobservant, but twenty minutes was a sure thing.

Gently, you tested the doorknob, shocked and almost a little insulted when the latch clicked and the door swung silently inward under your guidance. What kind of smug prick leaves home and doesn’t lock the front door behind him; sure, the neighborhood was nice, but it wasn’t that idyllic. Still, gift horses and all that. You shrugged and proceeded in, closing the door again behind you, no need to draw attention, and ghosting up the stairs to the third floor.

Keeping your light low, you looked around for something that matched the description of the painting that would be hiding your target.

“The painting contains three apples and a lemon,” your informant had said.

Unfortunately, nothing in the veritable gallery of this home office was one of those weird fruit still-lifes. Scanning all of the images for some fruit, especially with the variety of art styles on the walls, would take time. You cursed under your breath as you set to work systematically.

It wasn’t like you could hold it against your informant that much. She was a disgruntled and bitter but still scared and reliant employee telling you where to find maybe not all but certainly the most fungible of her shitty boss’s assets. You could permit her a little crypticness, so long as it didn’t blow up in your face in the end. Which, since this bloody fortune was made in arms deals, there was always the possibility of, literally.

Three apples and a lemon, three apples and a lemon, three apples and a...

“Gotcha,” you murmured, the first real sound you had made since entering the house.

The tall painting took up most of the corner where it hung, and the fruit was not particularly prominent, but there they sat, in a bowl on the table of the young couple featured in the image. That was good enough for you. The frame lifted easily off the wall, and behind it, set in was a small steel door with three combination dials in the center. It was cute that he thought that would protect him from you.

Within minutes, the last of the tumblers thunked into place and the door popped open.

“Hello my lovely,” you purred, plucking out a padded box, opening up and gazing briefly at the way the finely cut gem glittered beneath your fingers. “I have a new home for you.”

You snapped the box shut, reveling at the way it echoed through the empty house. It was reckless, but you had earned a little bit of that. There was no one close enough to hear and if there was a security system, all it would pick up was a blip of sound, a glitch. Tucking the gem, and several other treasures from the safe into your bag, you put everything back to the way it was with expert precision.

Nineteen and a half minutes. You should be smart and get out, you knew, but there was no sign of concern, interest, pursuit. And this was the sort of man you wanted to take more from than money. You bit your lip, hesitating. And then you made your way to his desk, which was scattered with files and papers, a treasure trove of corporate secrets and proprietary scandals.

Suddenly, the file you were reading was knocked from your hand and you jumped, startled by the heavy sound of something metal striking wood. Looking down, you saw the glint of a knife sticking out of the desk not more than an inch from your hand. You had been so engrossed in the numbers and figures, math and profits painted in blood, that you hadn’t noticed that you were no longer alone.

“Shit!” you shouted, recoiling.

Leaning in the doorway, another knife in hand, was a man dressed all in black, leather mostly, his eyes covered in a domino mask that really didn’t do much to hide his face. It might stop you from picking him out of a crowd, but if you were to try, you could probably figure out his identity. In fact, as you stared at him in the dim light, you were sure that he looked familiar, a fact you filed away for later, if he didn’t kill you.

“You know, solid black isn’t actually that great for creeping around in shadows,” you said, fighting back control of your voice. “And if you’re looking for Mr. Sullivan, I’m not him.”

“Good thing I’m not looking for him then,” he answered with a smirk. “But it does beg the question: what are you doing in his office?”

“Would you believe me if I said I’m his secretary and he asked me to stop by and pick up a file?”

“In the middle of the night, in the dark, dressed like that?”

“Yeah, I didn’t think I’d get that one to work. Listen, whatever you came here for, I won’t get in your way if you don’t get in mine. We can both walk out of here with no one the wiser.”

“I came here to stop you. Heard about a lurker on the radio and got here faster than the cops. But a lurker looks to me more like a thief.” His head tilted to one side.

“No point in denying it then. I was hired by one of his competitors to try and steal some blueprints for some new grenade design,” you lied, hoping he didn’t know enough about the man to know whether that could be true. “But I don’t see it here, and frankly the payday isn’t worth getting almost stabbed. So how about I just…go and we forget this ever happened, yeah?”

You kept your hands in the air where he could see them and slowly circled the desk, away from the man blocking the doorway, closer step by careful step to the window. You studied it out of the corner of your eye. Heavy, leaded glass. That was going to hurt, but you’d been through worse.

“I’m not going to let you just walk away after you broke in here.”

“Technically all I did was enter, there was no breaking. Asshole left the front door open. Practically an invitation.” You gestured as if to say you were helpless against the temptation.

“Oh in that case…” you couldn’t tell from the distance, but the tone of his voice made you fairly certain that he was rolling his eyes at you. “I’ll be nice and not pin you there,” he gestured again with the knife, pointing at the wall behind you. “But I’m not letting you go anywhere.”

“Oh I dunno…strong handsome guy like you, I might like you pinning me,” you smirked. “But I’ll have to take a raincheck on it. Places to be and all that jazz.”

You had managed to position yourself directly in front of the window now, the light of the full moon shining around you like a very misplaced halo. He was watching your every move closely, tensed like he expected an ambush. Instead, you blew him a kiss.

And then you turned and leapt, smashing through the window in a rain of shards which glittered magically in the moon. By the time he reacted, crossing the room in a flash to stare out into the night below, you were rolling to your feet and running, adrenaline letting you ignore the distance you had fallen and a miracle letting you escape without blood.

~

You encountered the mysterious man with the knives seven more times over the course of that year. It had become almost a welcome tradition, a warning that someone was onto you, with plenty of time to get out before the actual police showed up. No matter how many times he threatened it, he never hurt you, and he never quite managed to stop you (part of you wondered if this was intentional, as you had worked out early on that this was one of the members of The Umbrella Academy which you had grown up hearing so much about).

“Diamonds again?” he asked, leaning casually against another display case as you placed the glass back over where the necklace now in your hands had been.

“What can I say, I like shiny things?” you offered with a shrug, holding up the jewels before dropping them into the bag at your hip. “And in my defense, I checked the provenance. These were stolen long before they ended up in my hands.”

“So that makes it alright to rob a museum in the middle of the night?”

“Yeah, basically. Doesn’t it?”

“No.” His voice was flat but his face beneath that stupid domino mask was incredulous that you would even try such an excuse.

“What if I add in that the necklace contains blood diamonds and ethically, no one should have them?”

“But you have them.”

“Only until I can sell them. And then I’ll put the money to way better use…I’m thinking Thai food, first at least. Wanna come?”

“What?”

“I’ll fly a signal or whatever it is that summons you and we’ll get dinner. You can leave your mask on if you like.”

“I’m not getting dinner with you.”

“Breakfast then?”

He pointed at you, with the hilt of the knife, as he had started doing more often. “You’re just trying to confuse me so you can escape again. That’s not going to happen this time.”

“Isn’t it?” you cocked your head to one side. “I don’t think the saying goes ‘eighth time’s the charm.’”

“Even if you escape, you’re not in someone’s house or office this time. A museum will have a security system. You’ll get tracked down for this one.” He sounded almost sad as he said it, like he regretted that your game of cat and mouse was coming to an end.

You took a step closer to him. He tensed. A certain amount of distance between you had always been one of the unspoken rules. Another step. You watched him swallow nervously and found it hilarious, since he could definitely best you in a fair fight. Third step. His eyes flickered to the sides as if looking for an escape route. Maybe he knew if you ever decided to have a go at him you wouldn’t let it be a fair fight.

By the time you stopped moving, you were inches from him and he practically vibrated with tension.

“If I didn’t know any better,” you whispered, watching his eyes flicker down to your lips. “I’d say you wanted me to get away.”

“Don’t be stupid,” he snapped half-heartedly, licking his lips nervously. “You’re a criminal.”

“Then now’s your chance. Stop me.” You leaned closer, the motion with the double meaning of your words making your intention clear.

The knife he was holding clattered to the ground as his hand shot out to grab you by the wrist. But the gesture wasn’t used to restrain. No, he used it to tug you closer, making you stumble into his chest as your lips crashed together. And then, the kiss became a war. You were both all teeth nipping lips and tongues battling each other. One hand gripped bruisingly onto your hip, fingers digging into flesh and holding you against him. The other released your wrist and tangled into your hair, knocking aside the cap you used to keep it contained. For your part you wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him closer, closer, closer. The other clawed his shoulder, clinging to him to keep yourself upright.

Your head was hazy and overwhelmed with the taste and feel of him, with the wanting more of it. But, there was a tiny part of your mind that was still paying attention. Your hand danced, trailing touches easily disguised as passion, freeing the knives from his harness, collecting them quietly in nimble fingers. He released your hip, slid his hand down over the curve of your ass, making you gasp. You set the knives as quietly as you could on the top of the display case, just out of convenient reach or obvious notice. His hand hooked onto your thigh, an inviting gesture. Instead you pulled away.

“This…” you murmured, lips still just barely brushing against his, “…was a bad idea.”

He released you; you stepped back.

“It doesn’t change things,” he said. “I’m still not letting you get away again.”

“Of course not,” you smiled, soft. You knew the steps of your dance. “But I’m still going to try.”

You turned. Diego watched as you ran, sprinting over marble-tiled floors. He reached back to grab a knife, not sure what he was going to do to keep from hurting you badly, but needing to do something. He frowned, the sheath was empty. Your steps drew you further away, he moved to follow, reaching further, only to find that every sheath was empty.

He swore, shouting the curse after you, and you couldn’t help the laugh that echoed back to him.

~

Laying on his bed in the boiler room that night, Diego couldn’t stop thinking about her: the feeling of her hair beneath his fingers, the taste of her lips on his, her soft warmth pressed against him. But more than that, it was her smile, her laugh, the light-hearted way she had teased him from the very beginning, utterly shameless and unafraid.

Something tickled at the back of his mind that there was more to her than just a good thief, but he couldn’t put his finger on what. And every time he tried, instead he was assaulted with the memory of the way her flesh gave way to his touch and her hot breath tickled his face. He wanted to solve the mystery of her, but more than that, he just wanted her.

He got up with a sigh, knowing he’d be unable to sleep in this state. He loosely wrapped his hands before taking out his pent-up emotion on the punching bag hanging in one corner. As he worked, his mind seemed to clear, and a new thought occurred to him. The next time they encountered each other, and he was certain there would be a next time, at the very least he would get her name. A name to put to the face, and the other things, would be enough.

[the8thsphynx]

*Insert Seinfeld Slap Bass*

Prologue | Chapter 1 |

Characters: Grimmjow Jaegerjquez, Kugo Ginjo, Kukaku Shiba, Kisuke Urahara, Ichigo Kurosaki, Shukuro Tsukishima Pairings: Grimmjow/Ginjo, Kisuke/Yoruichi Genre: Comedy, Romance, Family, Government Espionage Warnings: Mature language, s3xual humor, fighting/violence, alcohol, mentions of death, rap battles with government officials

Chapter 1:

‘Shaking a Bag of Catfood Outside of the Shiba Residence’

The air on the outskirts of the Rukon District always had a lighter feel to it. Kukaku had seldom stepped away from her fireworks shop to enter the inner districts by the Seireitei ever since her brother’s passing, but even so she would occasionally indulge herself by standing outside of the Shiba manor to take in the sight of the mountain-like structure in the distance. The wind blew gently through the field of grass and Kukaku cursed herself for not wearing her prosthetic arm today to help protect her smoking pipe.

Through the whistling of the wind, she heard the front doors of the manor clatter open and someone approach her. By the familiar light jingling of a silver chain, she identified her visitor without even turning her head.

“I’m taking it by how soon you’re back, you couldn’t fix it?” she remarked with a puff of tobacco smoke.

The voice that replied was deep and male, “Don’t know what to tell you. I said I’m not familiar with pyrotechnic equipment since I worked with cars.”

Kukaku waved dismissively at him with her right stump, “Bah, I already told you not to try and explain that modern living world stuff to me. If you can’t fix my launcher then I guess I gotta pay someone to look at it. Anyways, did you let the cat in, yet?”

There was a pause from her visitor, followed by a shallow and sharp breath. Removing her kiseru from her mouth and flicking the ashes into the wind, Kukaku turned to face him and raised one eyebrow.

“You didn’t hear me or something, Ginjo?” she said with smoke coming from between her teeth, “I like that cat. I like his regular visits. Almost as nice to have come by as Yoruichi. Has he come by yet and have you let him in?”

Kugo Ginjo tossed a rag blotched with black stains over his shoulder and looked away from Kukaku, “Yeah, and I told you he’s irritating as hell.”

The head of the Shiba clan stuck her pipe between her teeth and wrinkled her nose, “Gotcha. Hang on before I go through with your request, lemme find the slip of paper that says you pay the rent to have an opinion over me.”

The chutzpah in Kugo fractured and by the twitch of his eye and clench of his jaw he knew he was backed into a verbal wall. He fixed the collar of the haori that the Shibas had lent him as he bit his tongue to avoid saying something he shouldn’t to the head of the household.

Unfortunately, with being ‘dead’, that meant he had come to the Soul Society with the clothes he had died in and nothing else. When Kukaku took him and his other two companions in, she offered him clothes that resembled a Meiji-era style, but unfortunately for Kugo this was the closest to ‘modern’ the styles got outside of very expensive custom-made clothing orders. This particular outfit was a fern green kimono with a scale pattern and a dark grey haori. Not that Kugo had any room to complain to begin with, but at least this one was bearable to wear.

As he opened his mouth to respond to her, the front door clattered open again and two men nearly double his size in twin uniforms disregarded his presence completely and bellowed to Kukaku like two henchmen to a yakuza boss.

“MY LADY, WE HAVE FOUND THE CAT IN THE EQUIPMENT STORAGE ROOM TODAY,” they thundered, “SHALL WE BRING HIM TO THE PARLOUR, MA’AM?”

Kukaku flickered her slate grey eyes from the giant men to Kugo and gave a wink, silently flaunting her intuition for the ‘cat’ having just arrived. She flicked the ashes in her kiseru into the wind again and began moving back inside of the Shiba manor, on the way smacking Kugo’s arm with the back of her hand.

“Storage room?” she mused, then waved her hand, “Nah, I’ll meet him there. Probably was looking for this guy, anyways. Koganehiko and Shiroganehiko, set things up for us in the parlour and we’ll be up shortly. Come along and help me greet our guest with me, Ginjo.”

One of the guards held out an open box with a fitted silk interior to Kukau and the other a small ceramic bowl with a wooden lid. To the ceramic pot Kukaku dumbed the rest of her ashes from the pipe and then carefully placed her kiseru in the silk-lined box. After closing the containers, the two giant men bowed to her and then went off back inside of the manor with shockingly light footsteps for their stature. 

Kugo grimaced and followed behind her down a flight of stairs, “...Hey, at least he didn’t end up outside like the first few times.”

The Shiba residence was certainly a fascinating structure; from the outside it looked like little more than a shack aside from Kukaku’s gaudy, ever-changing outdoor decorations and the massive sealed ‘chimney’. Directly inside, however, there was a staircase that lead to a labyrinth of lower levels, lit by a strange light-emitting herb that the Shibas planted inside of the walls and left open with shelf-like holes in the ceilings.

She lead Kugo to a specific sliding door on left hand side in the middle of the hall. The rest of the doors were normal, everyday-average sliding doors, but this one had a window beside it with a panel in place that said ‘CLEAR’ likewise with an opposite side that would say ‘WORK IN PROGRESS’. This was where Kukaku and her pyrotechnics team would construct, prepare, and store every manner of launchers, mounts, or casings for fireworks that were ordered. Despite the sign currently displaying ‘CLEAR’, Kukaku still knocked.

“Heeeyyyy, Grimmjow!”she called as she began pushing the door open, “You in here? We’re coming in!”

Being perfectly content with his distance from the room, Kugo had remained behind Kukaku with his gaze fixed into a half-annoyed glare looking away from the storage room door. It wasn’t that he outright hated Grimmjow, it was just… well…

The sound of the wooden door clattering open was enough to cover the sound and of course neither of the two were paying attention to their surroundings, so a black figure was able to successfully swing down from a hole in the ceiling where the light-emitting herbs were.

“VIBE CHECK.”

Perhaps it was his keen intuition or his reflexes honed from nearly two decades of combat, but Kugo was just barely able to catch an assailant’s foot before it came in contact with his head. In the space contained in a half-second, Kugo turned from confusion to burning irritation. Gritting his teeth, he yanked his attacker’s leg towards him, throwing them off-balance and sending them to the ground. Without missing a beat, Kugo used his free arm to come down with his forearm full-force on the attacker’s neck; they were just as fast as he was, though, and threw one arm up to brace the blow as they were slammed intot he ground with a residing ‘THUD’.

Kukaku was frozen for a moment at hearing the attack behind her, but then turned on her heels and snapped at the two, “GOD DAMMIT, I SAID NONE OF THAT IN THE HOUSE.”

Kugo didn’t look up at her, instead keeping an unamused scowl at the being below him. Bright blue eyes like lightning stared back at him and were paired with a grin more animal-like than human.

“Heheheh. You’re gettin’ slower,” a gravelly voice chuckled, “Careful, all you need is one misstep and you die, Ginjo.”

The fullbringer grit his teeth, “You’re a little late for that, Grimmjow.”

Kukaku slapped her one hand against the wall, making a noise loud enough that the two men separated begrudgingly and stood on their feet. The humanoid being that stood before Kugo was very clearly not human; not persay for his wild blue hair or the jawbone mask on his cheek, but for the air about him… a look in his cobalt eyes that gave the sensation that you weren’t talking with another person so much as facing a wild animal. What was it that Tsukishima told Kugo this feeling was…? Ah, right, the ‘uncanny valley’; a survival instinct in humans to recognize something that looks like a human but isn’t.

Kugo knew the origins of Grimmjow and what he was classified as, though, as thanks to Tsukishima-- his former mentee and current fellow guest of the Shibas--having used his complicated ability to see into others’ pasts to learn about Hollows, arrancars, and the Espada from others who had encountered him. Of course he couldn’t register Grimmjow as a person, for the pure fact that Grimmjow was the end of a long chain of congregation, mutation, and evolution of thousands of Hollows-- dead and forsaken or vengeful souls that became one person with their own unique personalities, typically with a lack of human emotion or empathy. It wasn’t as though Kugo was completely disgusted in such an existence, though; after all, a Hollow was the only reason that he was born with his own particular powers.

“Did you bring me my delivery, Grimms?” Kukaku piped up, holding out her one arm and beckoning for the blue haired man.

Grimmjow kept his eyes locked on Kugo and wore a flat expression while  fixing his short jacket and collar. Still maintaining eye contact, he reached inside of his black zip-up shirt and retrieved a white envelope packed full and thick.

“Right here for ya,” Grimmjow responded, “And you can uphold your end of this deal, right, Shiba woman?”

Kugo blinked at the arrancar and then turned to shoot Kukaku a questioning glare. He was no stranger to deals of a certain nature happening regularly outside of the club or even down the street from where he lived, and typically he didn’t care, but… was this really what was happening between Grimmjow and Kukaku? She didn’t seem like that kind of person.

...However, she seemed to ignore Kugo completely as she grinned back at Grimmjow and rested her hand on her hip.

“That’s a good man,” she nodded, “Knew I could count on ya to deliver for me. Alright, now before we talk this out let me get you upstairs and settled into the parlour. It ain’t right for me as lady of the Shiba clan to not treat a business partner with hospitality. You hungry, Grimmjow?”

Kukaku didn’t wait for a response before turning around and heading back down the hallway. The arrancar gave Kugo another glance, warranting another small scowl from Kugo which caused Grimmjow to smirk. Folding his arms behind his head and locking his fingers in place, Grimmjow meandered down the hall in the same direction as Kukaku.

He scoffed, “I told ya I don’t need to eat human food unless I’m in a gigai. Although… if you’re offering to feed me regardless, you ain’t gonna like what I tell you I can eat.”

Kukaku waved her hand, “Forget it, then. It’s other Hollows, right? At least that’s what I heard from Tsukishima. That’s not really an easily accessible game for people like us for a plethora of reasons but I mean hell, who knows? If I’m satisfied with my delivery I might just have to send Ginjo out to grab me a few of those little bastards for you. What’s a former Soul Reaper for if not odd jobs like that?”

Kugo begrudgingly found his way behind them and felt his eye twitch slightly again, “Excuse me, so now I’m just your live-in Hollow exterminator…?”

“Hollow catcher,” Kukaku corrected.

Grimmjow curled his lips and made a noise in his throat, “Ugh, as if I’m such a poor hunter on my own that I need an already half-assed fighter to catch a meal for me. No offense, Shiba, but if you’re gonna make this guy do anything for me I’d rather you get a--”

A stub of an arm was pointed back at the arrancar, “Business in the parlour. I’ll listen to you fully, but if I’m trying to maintain a system here I can’t go about making deals in my storage rooms.”

Kugo felt a familiar muscle in his left shoulder tense up as it normally did with stress. As he reached up to try and give himself some relief to it, he debated if he should make another remark to Grimmjow and Kukaku that he wasn’t just some chore boy or exchangeable item… then again, with how weird and wild these two were, his words would fall on deaf ears, anyways.

--------

A/N: This chapter took longer to come out than I intended simply because in the time frame I wanted to finish the last five paragraphs I ended up getting a looottt of work piled on me, but fortunately it’s up now! Next chapter will hopefully be only a few days behind it!

[a-table-of-fics]

Oddworld: Conar's Ambition, Chapter 4, Draft 1

In the meantime, he puffed on his Lungbuster some more, thinking about what they could do next. Once they were all in the scrapyard, and found a secure spot, that’d be a good time to see about that map Mark probably had. From there, he could hopefully find out where Zeb’s offices were, and from there he and Slim could take him down, and Conar could finally have a fortune of his own.

His happy daydreams were interrupted when he heard another vehicle come rumbling down the road, and the sound of screeching metal against concrete. He leaned to look past the wall, and he had to cover his earholes as he saw an ugly yellow truck coming to the garage, sparks flying behind it as it carelessly dragged an enormous three-pronged hook behind it on a thick metal cable. He leapt back, afraid the tow cable might swing his way and obliterate him. Thankfully, it was nowhere close, and the truck was slowing to turn into the parking space anyway.

A Slig wearing a work vest came out, putting a well-worn yellow cap onto his head. He slammed a fist on the bed of the truck, and three Scrubs sat up groaning, and climbed out of the back.

Conar turned to the sleeping Mudokons, and was quick to tap them both with his Blunderbuss. They stirred, slowly standing back up. Just in time, too; the Slig had looked their way. He nodded before walking over to the passenger side. The door opened, and Conar heard the tell-tale sound of a Glukkon’s cheap dress shoes rapidly clattering. He was smoking an even cheaper cigar, and oil-stained suspenders over a hideously yellow plaid shirt. He sneered as he looked over at Conar and the Mudokons under his care, but his face softened as he saw the cab they came in with.

He hummed, running a few mental tallies.

“Quite a wreck,” he finally said. “Almost wish I’d seen the accident!”

He laughed, and if there was one thing any Slig learned quickly, it’s that a Glukkon’s laughter is contagious… or else. The Mudokons had no such obligation; while Slim and Mark were trying to keep their heads down, the three Scrubs in yellow loincloths just unloaded the truck of its six toolboxes. They politely waited by the door, struggling to stand up under the weight they were carrying.

“I take it you’re Clunk?” Conar asked.

“You ain’t as stupid as you look,” the Gluk snorted. “Why do ya ask?”

“Your guard over there says we need a ticket from you to get this scrap into the yard.”

Clunk turned around, seeing a wide-awake Slig waving his way from his booth, his magazine hidden from view.

“He’s right, you will need one. We gotta make sure we can’t fix it first.”

Meanwhile, his assistant Slig was watching the overly encumbered Mudokons. He was taking great pleasure in slowly opening the doors, at a couple of points even “accidentally” letting the doors fall a little, chuckling as the Scrubs groaned. Finally, he let them in, and they were able to set their equipment on the workbench.

“Right,” Conar nodded. “So when can we get started, sir? I’m already running late…”

“250 Moolah,” the Glukkon replied, simply. “We also gotta get your name and everything for our records. If we start going a little late, maybe I can let your boss now. Who knows?”

He leaned forward, enough to breathe smoke into Conar’s face.

“He might be feeling lenient and just dock your pay.”

He chuckled to himself, while Conar reached into his bag. Having only around 1400 Moolah to his name, this was quite a bit, but what choice did he have?

The other Slig happily accepted his payment, and turned towards his workforce.

“All right, get ‘er in so we can take a look!”

Conar and company watched as the cab was taken in, and followed when Clunk beckoned them in. They were directed to a lobby that had two very greasy chairs in it, as well as half another chair that was haphazardly lying against the wall. Clunk moved behind the front desk, where his assistant was waiting.

“So, you got an ID, ‘valued’ customer?”

“39872-A,” Conar said, automatically.

“Right. Place of employment?”

“Slog Hut 1884.”

“Quite a ways from here. What happened?”

“Got caught in some crossfire around home, sir.”

Clunk nodded.

“Right, we’ll see what we can do. You have a seat.”

Conar nodded, keeping the seat on his Pants rather than anything he could actually feel. The Mudokons, after one glare from the owner, shared the half-seat, keeping their feet splayed so they didn’t tip it over.

Clunk chuckled at the sight, and so Conar did too.

“Which of these chumps was the driver?”

Mark shrunk a bit, knowing what was going to come next, but before anyone else, Slim piped up.

“I was driving, sir.”

Mark was about to say something, but Slim’s elbow made a point against that. Clunk looked, and nodded.

“Brave Mud to admit that,” he said, turning back to Conar. “Make sure to get his license. Should have a number you can call on this phone here. They’ll take care of ‘im for losing company property, I hope.”

With that, he waddled over through the doorway, to the noises of metal clanging and tools hissing and whirring.

As soon as he was gone, Slim looked at the shaken Mark, then turned to Conar.

“Can you… can you pretend to call?”

“You ain’t tellin’ me what to do!” Conar replied. “I gotta call, that’s what he said…”

Slim’s look said it all, but he added “You want everyone to know where we are?”

“…Yeah, why don’t I just… not call, then?”

“Clunk’s probably gonna pop in at any moment. You really want to blow your cover here?”

Conar thought about it for a moment, then nodded. He’d have to ask about how Slim knew about this kind of thing later, but for now, he had a “call” to make to the taxi company. He stood up, holding a hand out expectantly. Mark looked at it for a moment, then sighed and produced a card from a pouch on his loincloth.

Conar snatched it and took a look. So he was supposed to call the Durtminch Taxi Service, but he punched random keys on the phone in rapid succession. He got a busy signal, but he pressed on.

“Yeah, hi… I wanted to report a Mud who drove through a gunfight…Yeah…We’re at Clunk’s… His name’s Mark…”

Clunk walked back in, watching while Conar finished his conversation.

“…ID, uh, 5928-22555…And this was 39872-A… Yeah, thanks.”

He looked up at the Glukkon.

“They said they’d discipline correctly.”

“Good,” Clunk nodded. “It’s important that they… learn. Anyway, we got some fixes underway. It’ll be ten minutes, but if it still don’t work, we’ll take it off your hands and getcha a ride.”

“Gotcha,” Conar nodded, walking back to take a seat.

Unfortunately, Clunk was staying at the desk, watching a monitor. No chance of using this time to rest, then; despite Conar’s reason for being late, he could still get reported for sleeping during work hours. Being late to the Slog Hut was one thing, but using this as an excuse to sleep was a one-way path to being detained until a co-worker could arrive and perform disciplinary action. Talking to the Mudokons was out of the question, too. No Glukkon liked seeing security being buddy-buddy with the workforce. So, he waited, listening to the sounds of mechanics hollering and metal clanging for ten minutes until, finally, the other Slig came back into the lobby.

“W-well,” he said, uneasily, “Got as fixed as we could, boss.”

The three Scrub mechanics walked in, covered in considerably more oil, soot, and burn marks than the Slig was.

“Well,” Clunk smiled, “Why don’t you have your driver friend there get the thing started, and we’ll see you off?”

Slim felt many eyes on him, and he slowly stood up. Mark followed suit, letting their half-chair slide and collapse onto the floor. He and Slim scrambled to get that back onto the wall, and then moved to follow the other Slig, with Conar following after.

He swallowed, climbing into the driver’s seat while Mark and Conar made it into the backseat.

“Hold up,” the head mechanic asked, raising a hand, “What’s the deal with the other Scrub?”

“You know better than to ask questions like that!” Clunk scolded, causing his Slig to wince. “It’s like you know nothing about keeping customers!”

He coughed, nearly dropping his cigar.

“Right then,” he continued, turning his attention to Conar through the window, “Explain why you’re commutin’ with a Mudokon!”

“Ah, y’see, er…”

“’M a student,” Slim meekly offered. “Y’see, he’s my instructor, isn’t that right, ‘Slim’?”

“I—” Mark started, before having his toe pressed by Conar’s metal foot. “Y-yeah, I am. L-lemme give ya a… refresher on how t’start this thing… yeah…”

He reached over, adjusting the levers to get the thing started. A rumble and whining noise, but nothing happened.

“Try again,” Clunk said.

“O-okay,” Mark nodded, having another go. Same result.

“Oy,” Clunk muttered, shaking his head. “All right, my boys’ll ger this into the scrapyard and we’ll getcha a new ride.”

“Actually,” Conar piped up. “I got two perfectly good Scrubs here. Betcha they could do with a bit of exercise, y’know what I’m saying?”

“Not gonna happen,” Clunk laughed. “Can’t have your Muds diving under a hunk of metal and escapin’, can we?”

“No sir,” Conar said, nodding a little too hastily. “Can’t have ‘em fleeing.”

He lifted his gun up meaningfully.

“I’m sure Tess and I could keep an eye on ‘em, though… heh heh…”

Clunk looked at him, and laughed.

“Ah, you really wanna teach ‘em a lesson, huh? Can’t blame ya for that; even a Mudokon should know not to drive into a firefight.”

He turned to his assistant.

“You focus on keeping our boys in line. Let our friend here take care of scrappin’ that piece of crap.”

“Er, all right, sir…”

It was hard to see with his own visor and the other Slig’s pilot-like goggles, but Conar could swear he was getting a side-eye from the guy as he turned to gather his mechanics.

Conar, for his part, simply shrugged, grabbing a ticket as it printed before giving a somewhat forceful jab to Slim’s back with the barrel of his gun.

“Get movin’, you two! I wanna see that cab in the scrap heap, and I wanna see it there now!”

He gave a bit of a chuckle to keep appearances, and the three of them moved the cab out. Well, Slim and Mark did, while Conar kept pace behind them, cradling “Tess” in his arms, still keeping it quite visible in the tried-and-true “Slig At Work” pose.

“Some escape,” Slim muttered under his breath. “Make me wish I was back shoveling Slog poo.”

“Wait, we’re escapin’?” Mark asked, perking up. “I can quit driving Sligs around? No more chokin’ on smoke?”

Before Mark could get too excited, though, he had to flinch as two shots rang out from behind him. Both he and Slim immediately put their hands over their heads, resting their faces onto the car’s trunk. They were just able to turn their heads enough to see Conar looking at them, his smoking gun pointed straight up in the air.

“Enough yapping!” he barked. “You’re slowin’ down when you do that!”

Mark was shaking a little, but Slim just sighed before beginning to push the cab again. On the plus side, the guard had woken up from that, and was already watching them pull up. Conar was already waving the ticket up for him, so he pulled the lever on the left of the control panel.

The three of them watched as the gate shook, groaning and creaking as it dragged along the ground. In the twenty-two seconds it took for it to open, Slim and Mark were able to take a breather, which they gratefully took. They almost didn’t notice when Conar shouted for them to start pushing again, but self-preservation kicked in regardless, and the cab was shoved through the gate again.

It soon became clear that they were not moving past multiple piles of discarded metal, but instead walking on one enormous heap. There was enough rust to pass as dirt if you weren’t walking on it, and they could hear metal creak not just under their feet, but everywhere. In the distance, a stack collapsed onto itself. A crane with an enormous magnet lifted junk into a new pile, and a bulldozer shoved more onto it.

As Conar looked around, the two Mudokons took note of the red eyes floating around. They didn’t seem to be taking any interest in the trio, instead panning over the various machines.

“Now, let’s get this thing outta the way,” Conar said. “I think I see some room over there.”

He gestured over to a place between an old FeeCo train car and a pile of refrigerators. It was a tight fit, but nothing a bit of elbow grease and Slig threats couldn’t take care of.

“Right,” Conar said, “We should find a place to lay low, then. We can figure things out from there.”

He looked either way, and found the door was taken off the train car. That was as good an option as any to look, but Slim put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from going into it.

“There’s a hideout in the fridges already,” he said. “Might wanna check that first.”

Conar paused to look at the pile on the other side, but outside of various graffiti tags, he didn’t see anything of interest. Besides, the train car was right here.

“I don’t know what you’re tryin’,” he said, pulling his shoulder away from the Mudokon, “but if you think you can pull one over me, you’ve got another thing coming!”

“I’m not—”

“Get in the train!” Conar shouted. “That’s an order!”

“Fine,” Slim sighed, clambering in. It was dark and cold down there, and the air had a metallic scent that was just powerful enough to be uncomfortable. Mark and Conar followed, landing next to him.

“It ain’t much,” Conar admitted, “but at least we should be hidden pretty well here.”

“I guess,” Slim shrugged, while Mark just nodded.

“It’s been a long night, so we oughta rest for a bit. We’ll work on getting started later.”

Conar watched as the Mudokons found a darker corner, huddling together for warmth. Despite the conditions, they found sleep far more easily than Conar did. The Expresso had long since lost its kick, but this was a far cry from the bed he was used to. What was worse, he was watching over recently-freed Scrubs. He could manage one, but what if the two were to gang up on him? Hell, Slim was already giving him orders! He was already getting a lot of nerve!

[the-starless-sky]

The Cat’s Whiskers x Akan Yatsura / “JUSTICE” voice drama sample 1

Iori: Sigh...

(Iori types on the computer.)

Iori: Well, with this much sales, we're gonna do well this month. If only 'that' matter will go well too. They’re the opponents, after all. They wont show their true colors easily. What should I do, I wonder? Asking a maneki-neko's [1] useless, huh.

(Zen knocks the door.)

Zen: Young Master, excuse me.

Iori: Oh, Zen. Good job out there.

Zen: What's wrong, Young Master? Holding a maneki-neko like that.

Iori: I was asking consulting with Boss Cat about life, haha.

Zen: Haha. What's up with that? Here's today's sales reports.

Iori: Ah, thank you.

Zen: Please look inside! It's amazing!

Iori: Yeah, understood.

Zen: Anne-kun's got the shining first rank in both sales and number of calls [2] again.

Iori: Aah, that's great.

Zen: And! It's CANDY's new record!

Iori: Is that so.

Zen: Young Master! This is an amazing thing! Aren't you surprised?

Iori: Yeah. Anne-chan's seriously a hard-worker, huh. Impressive, impressive.

Zen: Young Master...? Are you feeling unwell?

Iori: No, no. It's nothin’ like that, but... I was just absorbed in my thoughts.

Zen: If you're fine with me, then please talk to me anytime. I might be able to be of help, if only a little.

Iori: Ah... you're right. Well then, shall I talk? Oh. Before that, would you lock the door? 'Cause this ain't something the youngsters should hear.

Zen: O-oh, understood.

(Zen locks the door.)

Zen: Then, Young Master... what did you mean by 'thoughts'?

Iori: Zen, what d’ya think about Paradox Live?

Zen: Yes! It's a fair-and-square earnest battle! I will definitely prove that us Akan Yatsura's number one!

Iori: Haha. That's merry in itself, but... that's not what I meant. I was talking about how something about it smells fishy.

Zen: I'm sorry... I don't quite understand.

Iori: Actually, behind this championship... Alter Trigger Company might be involved.

Zen: Alter Trigger Company, you say...!?

Iori: Yeah. Just as ya know, they might be the mastermind behind the attack on our group. I think they're the ones who conspired behind the scenesーー

Zen: If that's true, then... let's carry out a raid, right now! We have to avenge the deaths of Boss and our comrades...!

Iori: Calm down, Zen. I understand your feelings. But, it's not the time for that yet.

Zen: But...!

Iori: I told ya to calm down, didn't I? I haven't grasped a conclusive evidence yet, so it's still nothin’ more than a conjecture. If we're going to kill them... let's do it for certain.

Zen: Yes.

Iori: We'll pretend we don't know anything, win, and get closer to the organizers. That's the safest plan we have now. If we raided now withoutーー

(From outside the room.)

Masaki: It's... locked.

(Reo tries to open the door.)

Reo: Ah, you're right. Hey, Big Bro! What's wrong~?

Iori: Zen! You don't have to tell them anything we talked about just now, alright.

(In the background.)

Satsuki: Oi, Big Bro! Big Bro!

Zen: Understood.

Iori: ‘Sup, what's up~!? You guys’re bein’ noisy~! I'll open it now, stop makin’ a fuss!

(Zen opens the door.)

Reo: Hehe. Huh? Zen-nii, you're here too?

Satsuki: Big Bro! We finished cleaning up the club!

Reo: Aah! Even though I'd planned to report...!

Hokusai: We made the club... sparkly clean.

Iori: Oh! Good job, ya three. You guys're a huge help. Well then, shall we close up an' go home?

Reo: Okay~!

Satsuki: Why did you lock the door, though, Big Bro?

Reo: Aah, this is why children are hard to handle. Of course they were talking about important club stuff!

Satsuki: What's that, shitty brat!? Who'd you call a child!?

Reo: There's nobody else but Satsuki-chan, isn't it!?

Satsuki: I told you not to call me with -chan, didn't I!?

Reo: Ahaha, he's angry, he's angry!

Satsuki: Oi!!! Stop there!!!

Reo: Satsuki-chaaan, I'm here~

Zen: Oi! Don't fight in front of Young Master!

Satsuki: You bastard...! I hafta strangle this guy once or he'dーーUwah!

Iori: Oof...!

Hokusai: Satsuki... are you okay?

Reo: I'm sorry, Big Bro... Did the maneki-neko crack somewhere...? Is it okay...?

Hokusai: Satsuki, too... are you okay?

Satsuki: Ah, yeah, I'm all fine. Um, I'm really sorry!!

Iori: It's 'kay, it's 'kay. Doesn't seem like it's cracked anywhere.

Zen: Satsuki-kun and Reo-kun! Why do you guys always, always...! Won't you guys learn, for once!?

Satsuki: ...'Kay.

Zen: What, Satsuki-kun? You have anything you wanna say?

Satsuki: ...Nothing, Sir.

Zen: Reo-kun! I'm also talking to you!

Reo: Okaaay~

Iori: Cats, huh... if it's him, he might know something.

Zen: In any case! Reflect properly! Understand!?

Reo & Satsuki: Understood...

Iori: Now, now. Nobody got hurt, so just leave it at that.

Zen: No, that's not good! Come, you two, apologize properly to Young Master once again!

Reo & Satsuki: Big Bro... Sorry...

Iori: Come on...~ I hate it when the atmosphere's damp at the end of the day. Oh, yeah! To change the mood, shall we go out together?

Satsuki: Seriously!? I wanna go!

Reo: Me too!

Hokusai: If everyone goes, I want to go too...

Iori: Zen, of course ya'll join too, right?

Zen: It can't be helped, understood. I will go, too.

Reo: Yaay~ Night out~!

_

(Satsuki opens the door.)

Satsuki: Hey! We're coming in!

Shiki: Welcoー ah...!

Ryuu: Beep, beep! Shoo~! It's an enemy attack, a mob!

Yohei: Tch. You guys, huh? Sorry, but we're closed already. Go somewhere else.

Iori: You're so cold! Couldn't ya let us have a glass? Huh, danna? [3]

Shiki: W-why... is Akan Yatsura's members...?

Saimon: Shiki, step back.

Yohei: You... heh, it's been a while, hasn't it?

Iori: Hahaha! Danna, have ya been healthy? Ya even became a full-fledged bar master! Haha! We came here to greet y'all before the battle!

(Iori slaps Yohei's back.)

Yohei: O-oi! Stop that!

Hokusai: Ah... Ryuu...!

Ryuu: Hmm? Huh...? I feel like I've seen you guys somewhere... uhm... Oh, yeah! Monkey, pheasant, and dog! [4]

Satsuki: This ain’t Momotarou! And I'm not a monkey! Don't look down on me!

Hokusai: Ryuu... you haven't changed.

Yohei: Ryuu. Leave the cleaning and just bring in the signboard.

Ryuu: Okay~!!! Hey, hey, get outta the way!!! Ryuu-kun's coming through! Vroom, vro-ro-room, vroom, vroom!

Zen: Oops!

Ryuu: Get out, outta the way!!

Zen: Haha, he's really energetic.

Reo: So? Can we go in or what?

Saimon: Haha. Yes, of course. You've came all the way to greet us - there's no way we'll send you back.

Ryuu: Welcome to Bar 4/7.

Shiki: Please sit in the counter seat.

_

Zen: Well then, I'll have a lemon sour, please.

Yohei: Gotcha. Iori's gimlet, right?

(Yohei makes the drinks and put the glasses on the table.)

Iori: Yeah, thanks.

(Iori drinks.)

Iori: Ah-ha~ As I thought, alcohol hafta be this! Oh, yeah! Please serve something for our kids, too.

Reo: Then, I want a pudding a la mode!

Yohei: We have no such things.

Reo: Eeh, you don't!? Then, tapioca milk tea!

Yohei: Sigh...

Satsuki: I'll have... uh, that... I'll have bourbon.

Shiki: H-huh!? B-but...

Satsuki: Huuh!? What!?

Shiki: A-ah... um...

Zen: Hmph!

(Zen hits Satsuki.)

Satsuki: That hurts!! What's that for!?

Zen: Don't get carried away! You can drink alcohol after you're 20. Juice's enough for Satsuki-kun!

Satsuki: Tch. Fine!

Ryuu: You want some kibi-dango? [5]

Satsuki: I told you we're not Momotarou!

Ryuu: Even though you'd get a bonus of becoming Ryuu-kun's servant...

Satsuki: All the more reason for not needing it!

Ryuu: Then, Kuu-chan, what about you? [6]

Hokusai: Mm... I'm fine with anything.

Ryuu: You're fine with anything? Then, I'll give you Charismatic Bartender Ryuu-kun's Special Drink!

You are! The member of this drink! Become 100 times more cheerful! There's no choice but to drink this late in the game! Soda and coffee, tabasco, and oof, it's spicy! And to top it off, matcha, Kuu-chan's green!

Ryuu-kun's special drink for Kuu-chan... along with the smell of gutter.

(Ryuu-kun puts the glass on the counter.)

Hokusai: Thanks for the drink.

(Hokusai drinks.)

Hokusai: It's terrible. But good job for making it with all your might, Ryuu. There, there.

(Hokusai pats Ryuu.)

Ryuu: Riiight!? That's 'cause Ryuu-kun's a genius! I'm scared of my own talent~!

Yohei: Jeez... how'd he manage to make something like that?

Saimon: Haha. You're right.

(Satsuki's stomach grumbles.)

Satsuki: Aah... I'm kinda hungry. Hey, uncle! Don't you have anything to eat?

Yohei: Haa? Look, what do you think this place is?

Iori: Oh, then, Satsuki, I'll give you pocket money. Go and eat ramen or something with everyone else!

Satsuki: Huh!? Seriously!?

Iori: Yeah. 'Raimen' should still be open by now.

Ryuu: How nice~ Ryuu-kun wants to eat, too! With lots and lots and lots of garlic on top of the noodle~!

Iori: Ah, I see. Then go with them, with that kid, too.

Ryuu: Yaay! Yay, yay, yay! We gonna eat ramen! He said you can come too, Shiki! Nice, isn't it!?

Shiki: Ah... but, I'd feel bad...

Reo: You're coming, right, Ando-kun?

Hokusai: Let's go together...

Satsuki: Hm? 'Sup with you guys? How'd you know his name?

Reo: Haa? He's from the same school as us!

Satsuki: Seriously!?

Hokusai: Yeah... we're part time students, but Ando-kun's full-time. [7]

Shiki: Y-yes... we're from the same school... more or less.

Reo: We pass by him a lot on the way to school, don't tell me you didn't notice at all, Satsuki?

Satsuki: Huh... Ando, you bastard, what are you being reserved for? Are ya makin' fun of us, thinking 'I don't wanna eat with part time students'!? Ha!?

Shiki: A-ah, uh, I didn't mean...

Iori: Satsuki!

Satsuki: W-what!?

Iori: Stop pickin' strange fights, be good pals and go!

Satsuki: Eeh? Okay.

Saimon: Sorry for having you take care of our children as well.

Iori: 'skay, 'skay. Something like this's fine, once in a while.

Reo: Haha! Well then, we're going! Thank you, Big Bro!

Saimon: Everyone, be careful on the way.

(Reo opens the door and walks out with everyone.)

Ryuu: Happy and Macho, thank you, obbligato!

(Ryuu walks out.)

Iori: Happy... does he mean me?

Zen: Macho... hm... not bad.

Iori: Zen...

Yohei: Sigh... it's finally quiet.

Iori: Nah, I'm really s'prised! I knew you're working after leaving our group, but, haha, ya've mellowed down more than I thought!

Yohei: Hah. Even I'm not gonna be a child forever.

Saimon: Haha. Then, it'd be nice if you get even more mellower.

Yohei: Shut up. Don't say useless things.

Zen: Um, Kanbayashi-san, excuse me. May I get another cup?

Yohei: Yeah, of course. You want something different?

Zen: Well, since I'm here already, something low-sugar, please.

Yohei: Then, it's around tequila... gin, or brandy, huh?

Zen: Hm? This maneki-neko on the counter... it looks very similar to Young Master's.

Iori: Ah, that, huh? Not just similar, they're the exact same thing.

Zen: Eh, is that so...? Why is there the same thing here?

(Yohei lit his cigarette and smokes.)

Yohei: This maneki-neko... was given to me by the boss.

Saimon: 'Boss'? Who is that?

Yohei: Boss is... the head of Suiseki-group who I was indebted to.

Iori: There was a time when we worked as a pair, danna and I.

Yohei: Yeah, yeah. Back when we manage the cabaret club and became bodyguards.

_

Iori: What's up, danna? Piano's not your style, right? What's up suddenly? [8]

Yohei: Haha. I just thought I'd dabble in it a bit. 'Cause it seems I have the sense for it.

Iori: Who told you that kinda thing?

(From far away.)

Mob-AT: I'll order one more tower. [9]

Cabaret girls: Really? Yay~! Tower~!

Mob-AT: Let's go!

Cabaret girls: You're the best~!

Iori: Oh, my, my. Seems like that guy's being flashy today, too. Look, he keeps ordering the good bottles. If we said Boss-style, he's 'merry', isn't he. [10]

Yohei: Hm? Oh, it's the guys from Alter Trigger Company.

Iori: Seriously, they keep coming without getting bored at all. Well, that's a good thing for us, though.

(Sounds of glass breaking.)

Cabaret girls: Kya!? What's going on?

Iori: Huh?

Mobs: Oi, you there, stop fuckin' around! The fuck's with this club? What kinda shitty service is this, huh!?

Yohei: What's up with those guys...?

Mobs: Under whose permission is this shitty club operating!? Oi!?

Yohei: Is he some other group's guys?

Cabaret girls: Ah...!

Cabaret girls: Hey, what's wrong with everyone? Calm down...!

Iori: That doesn't matter right now. The Alter Trigger guys are currently drinking comfortably. Before the rating of the club drops, we’d better do something.

(Sounds of glass breaking and alarms going off.)

Cabaret girls: What...?

Iori: Customers, just now, a small fire started in the kitchen. Our staffs will lead the way, so please evacuate immediately! Cast members, please don't go out and show the way to the customers.

Yohei: This way! Please calm down.

Mobs: Oi, bastard, what's this-

Iori: You guys, stay here, alright?

Mobs: Stop fuckin'... around...

Iori: Alright?

Mobs: Ugh...

Yohei: Oi, Iori. I got them all out.

Iori: Yeah, thanks for that, danna. With this, there's only us around.

Yohei: What the hell are you guys planning? Messing around?

Iori & Yohei: Let's hear all about it.

Notes

[1] Maneki-neko or ‘beckoning cat’, said to invite customers and luck.

[2] Calls - since it’s cabaret club, essentially you can choose which hostess you want to accompany you drinking. So that means Anne gets called for by the customers the most times.

[3] Danna. There are a lot of ways to translate this, one of them being ‘master’ or ‘boss’ - the nuance is almost like ‘bro’, but more respectful. Since both ‘(gang) boss’ and ‘(bar) master’ has been used, to avoid confusion I opted for danna in italics.

[4] Monkey, pheasant, and dog are Momotarou’s companion in the folklore Momotarou. Google it up!

[5] Kibi-dango is the food Momotarou gave to the three animals that accompany him.

[6] Kuu-chan. I’m pretty sure this nickname comes from how Ryuu calls Masaki a ‘pheasant’, since birds cry ‘coo, coo’.

[7] Part-time schedule or teiji-sei is a school schedule that started in the evening for people who wants to get a high school diploma but has to work in the day for a living. Full-time, vice versa, is the usual schedule (school starts in the morning and ends in the evening).

[8] I don’t know if it shows in this translation, but in the flashback Iori speaks in a normal, unaccented way. So yes, he’s one million times cooler (in my opinion!).

[9] Tower, as in champagne tower. It’s likely the most expensive thing you can order in a club.

[10] Merry, or gokigen, is also Iori’s catchphrase in the current timeline of the series.

[*] Mob names. ‘Mob-AT’ is the guy from Alter Trigger. I don’t know where the other mobs are from unless specified.

I have no words except Iori... Iori, oh my god.

I’m sorry for being mean to you before. I love you. Not as much as I do Allen, but I love you.